#post-project evaluations

[cyber-soul-smartz]

21st Century Project Closure: Powerhouse of Efficiency

Unlock the secrets to mastering the project closure phase in our latest guide! Learn how to finalize activities, deliver success, and document lessons. Subscribe now for more insights on project management and professional development. #ProjectSuccess

[toldentops]

I’m so obsessed with reunions. All the possible thoughts that come with it. What were the circumstances that led to this? Did it tear us apart? Did it wane out slowly? Was it intentional? If I had known it would be the last time I saw you, maybe things would have been different, maybe I could have prepared you for it. What of the time in between, if it was kind, or if it was wracked with grief or resentment? Did your image of me change, or have you preserved me in your mind just how I was? Have you forgotten about me or have I always been in your head to remind you where you are? Was I mourned, even if I never died? And when the actual reunion comes, is it sudden, or is it through torturous anticipation because I can’t wait to see you and we’ve been talking about it for weeks? Or maybe it’s anticlimactic, we lock eyes and talk as if no time has passed. Did you catch me by surprise? Did you recognize me? Are we so changed that it takes a minute for it to register, until you’re running at me with full force and I’m doing the same? I’d know your smile and laughter anywhere. Are you greeting me with open arms? Does this change if it’s been 1 year or 10? Could it be a silent nod exchanged when passing each other on the street because we don’t talk, and there’s nothing more to add? Would I dread seeing you? Do my eyes widen as if I’ve seen a ghost?

[hee-blee-art]

I couldn't wait any longer to share my (work-in-progress) audio fiction project, Field Evaluation!

Field Evaluation is the story of Joseph Viscount, a field evaluator with the Fortuna North Research Facility who investigates claims of anomalous phenomena. Specialising in a particular anomaly called The Liminal, Joseph seeks out abandoned, uncanny, and inexplicable places to determine if there is anything to the superstitions that surround them.

You can learn more about Field Evaluation on my projects page linked below and stay tuned here and on @cleaverdream for updates and more!

[CW: Heavy unreality, paranoia, horror & unsettling themes]

[acornsandoaktrees]

so, Greenwood cats.

(hear me out, hear me out)

Norwegian Forest Cats:

larger and more powerful than most domesticated housecats, they're adapted to colder climates, with very thick and long fur. they take 5 years to fully mature. as the name implies, before domestication they occupied Scandinavian forests

Ocelots:

on all fours adults come up to a human's knees. historically, they were sometimes kept as pets by Aztecs and Incans. they take 2 years to fully mature. they're active at twilight and night, and live solitary. they require dense foliage cover, which often means forests

etymology:

while The Hobbit's Mirkwood is not the only instance of the name, Tolkien has admitted its roots to be in early German, Old English, Old Swedish and Old Norse

the Old Norse word for a domestic cat (tom-cat specifically, but isn't it always) is köttr. in terms of lotr-invented animals, Warg is drawn directly from the Old Norse word for wolf, vargr

(side-note: Teldivo was a giant black cat in Tolkien's early development of lotr, later replaced by Sauron, so the idea of Big Version of Real Animal wasn't lost on him)

and what does this all amount to, you ask?

well, that quite neatly for a fantasy world, Greenwood's forests could feasibly be inhabited by large wild-cats known as Kottur.

(as decided by the author of this post, who has a frightenly loose concept of deriving words from others lol)

and with that said, here's a fun fact about Norse tradition: cats were often given as wedding gifts to brides. this was done to honour Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility, whose chariot was pulled by... Norwegian Forest Cats! who would've guessed

also want to add that -- as i've said before but a while ago -- i don't put much stock in elves marrying. they just... live too long for that kind of monogamous commitment. 'til death do us part' doesn't really carry much weight, does it? however, i am willing to say that some elves choose to 'bond' with one another, sort of entertwining their lives without the rather daunting promise of a singular eternity. and yes, polyamoury and divorce. again, they live too damn long for the expectation of one partner in an entire population to be sensical

so to bring this together, here's my concept:

newly bonded Greenwood elves sometimes gift their partners a Kottur kitten, not to be luxuriously treasured pets but to act as hunting companions and protectors. considering Silvans' deep bond with nature, it's plausible, no?

(kittens only, because once Kottur start hitting maturity it becomes nigh impossible to train them)

[felidaefatigue]

is 20$ really too much for people rn for a traditional print gaddam. not like, judgementally. i get it i grew up dirt poor and am still not not poor and were all dying rn but. i just. thought that was quite comfortabley lowball enough to be reasonable but feasible.

these prints are 2 blocks and gold leafed like my vague assessment of lowballin the price id charge for em was like 40. prob spent like. 5hrs per layer at least. probably 10 for the leaf. 20hr at say 20$/hr is 400/25. 16. plus costs, i thibk paper was 30, ink is hard to say but barely worth mathing. the gold i dont remember ima guess like 15 for the kit. didnt use all of it. gunna pay for postage which is around 2$. so say like. 5ish for materials and overheads per print. so yea thats 20$ easily at a conservative estimate just to cover cost. oh that doesnt even count designing and carving the block. or like. setup/cleanup/registration trial and error/etc. time. so. yea. definitely more.

ah well. see what happens.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Be deeply suspicious of those whose only responses to Americans right now are, "vote!" and "we told you this would happen." Be wary of folks for whom, "Resist!" is a slogan and not a set of actionable tasks.

Challenge those who don't see a need to put out current fires or prepare people to be resilient should the recent Executive Orders become enforceable.

Resist becoming one of these people whose only reaction right now is to lash out. Understand we will have imperfect allies, but also shut down behavior that seeks to only continue the vicious circle of vent-posting.

We all need to vent and draw attention to our frustrations, but it's important not to feel locked in a spiral of helplessness.

I urge folks to be mindful of what they choose to amplify right now - be angry, but try to be actionable.

I urge folks to evaluate who they choose to follow about politics - is it all glib "what did you expect"s, is it all memes about this admin's hypocrisy, or are they sharing how to help in this moment?

And if you do still feel the most passionate about calling politicians, give people the tools on how to do that effectively. Don't just fucking berate folks.

And to put my money where my mouth is (this is not a comprehensive list by any means, just some recent resources):

Some mutual aid organizations to support

Some actions that are not protesting or voting

The trans literature preservation project

Trans orgs to support in all 50 states

Learn about ICE watch programs

Yes, still call your politicians - here is a script about the funding freeze to get you started or help with phone anxiety

[newobsessionweekly]

Aftershock: Bradford's Barbie

Main Masterlist | The Rookie Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Tim Bradford x younger!reader

Fandom: The Rookie

Summary: You and Tim are not dating. But also aren't not dating. Until he pulls back, you shut down and every feeling comes crashing down on you both.

Angst to fluff

Warnings: description of gunshots maybe? not proofread yet

Words: -

It didn’t start with fireworks. Or candlelight. Or anything remotely poetic.

It started with a crash.

Not the earthquake kind, not this time. Just you—exhausted, makeup smudged, hair in a bun that had declared war hours ago—falling asleep on his couch after a late-night takeout run and a shared bottle of whiskey neither of you meant to finish.

You woke up tangled in his arms. The next morning, you told yourself it was a one-time thing.

It wasn’t.

Somehow, in between shifts and field assignments, takeout orders and inside jokes, it became a routine. Your body in his bed. His scent on your clothes. His lips on your skin, hot and heavy in the silence after dark. And, weirdly, you slept better at his place. He did too, not that he ever said it out loud.

You weren’t dating.

You weren’t not dating, either.

Tim called it “convenient.” You called it “friends with benefits.” Lucy called it “a catastrophe waiting to happen,” though she didn’t know the half of it.

Because somewhere between him calling you a menace and you calling him a fossil—somewhere between him brushing your hair off your face and you learning how he liked his coffee—you started catching feelings.

Like a dumbass.

And the worst part? You didn’t even mean to. It just… happened. The way feelings do. Quiet at first, like a hairline crack. Then spreading, splitting, splitting, splitting.

Until something inside you started to break.

You told him once.

Sort of.

A few weeks ago, lying in his bed with your cheek pressed to his chest, you’d murmured something dumb and sleepy like, “I think you like me, Bradford.”

He hadn’t laughed. He hadn’t kissed you either.

He’d just gone still.

“Don’t make this complicated,” he’d said finally, voice low. “It’s already risky. You’re… you’re too young. This thing is just for fun. Let’s not pretend it’s more than it is.”

And like a fool, you nodded.

You told yourself you could deal with it.

But here you are, two months later, being reckless all over again.

Because now, thanks to a shiny new contract between LAPD and your father’s construction firm, you’re officially partnered with none other than Timothy “Emotionally Constipated” Bradford.

You might’ve pulled a few strings. Okay, a lot of strings. But in your defense, it was the perfect setup: a project pairing cops with civil engineers to evaluate post-quake building damage. Everyone wins. Especially you.

Except you forgot one detail.

You’re still in love with him.

And he still thinks you’re a goddamn risk.

You’re halfway through assessing a condemned strip mall in East Hollywood when it all goes to hell.

The street’s quiet, a little too quiet, the kind of quiet that prickles under your skin. Tim’s beside you, hand on his vest, eyes scanning every window and alley like he’s waiting for something to jump.

You’re marking a crumbling doorway with bright red chalk when it happens.

A pop.

Then another.

Gunfire.

You drop instantly, instincts kicking in, but not before Tim grabs your shoulder and yanks you behind the rusted frame of a dumpster. His body covers yours, warm and solid, one arm braced against the metal and the other curled around your waist.

“Stay down,” he growls, eyes blazing.

Your heart is beating in your ears, faster than it should. Too fast. His breath is hot on your cheek. His chest rises and falls against your back, firm and steady, while yours feels like it might explode.

And all you can think is: this isn’t casual. This isn’t just “fun.”

This is him shielding you like he’d die for you.

When it’s over—when backup arrives, when the scene clears, when the world rights itself again—you’re sitting on the tailgate of an LAPD shop with an ice pack pressed to your knee and a very pissed-off Tim looming over you.

“You okay?” he asks. The words are tight. Controlled. But his hand won’t stop gripping your thigh.

“I’m good,” you reply lightly. “But damn, Bradford. You almost made me think you caught feelings.”

His jaw ticks. “Don’t.”

“What? Can’t a girl joke around with her—what are we again? Bed buddies?”

He doesn’t answer. Just steps back like your words physically burned him.

You wait for him to say something—anything. But all you get is silence. His walls are up again. Brick by goddamn brick.

You nod, lips tightening.

“Got it.”

You stop texting him after that.

No goodnight emojis. No sarcastic memes. No more midnight rides to each other’s places. You pull out. Clean cut. No drama.

You tell yourself it’s the right thing. The smart thing.

You also start sleeping like crap again.

You expect him to call.

He doesn’t.

You expect him to knock on your door like he always does when things go sideways. Show up with a six-pack and that dumb grumpy look he pretends isn’t fond.

He doesn’t.

Instead, silence.

You last three days before deleting his name from your favorites. Five days before you fold the hoodie he left behind and tuck it in a drawer. Nine before you hear through one of the engineers that he requested a reassignment. A new partner.

The hurt isn’t new.

You just didn’t expect it to land like this. Like a slow tear in your chest every time you turn a corner expecting to see him, but don’t.

Tim is worse.

He doesn’t talk about it. Not to Lucy. Not to Thorsen. Not to Lopez. He just… broods.

He snaps faster. His fuse is shorter. He works more shifts, runs more drills, volunteers for the worst hours.

Lucy notices.

Of course she notices.

“You’ve been insufferable lately,” she says one day while they’re stuck in the locker room post-shift, both drenched in sweat and sun. “Worse than usual.”

Tim grunts, slamming his locker shut harder than necessary. “Just tired.”

“Bullshit.”

He shoots her a look, but she doesn’t back off.

“Is this about her?” Lucy asks casually. Too casually.

Tim stiffens. “What?”

“The blonde. Barbie. Earthquake Barbie. Whatever nickname you gave her in your grumpy little brain.”

Tim says nothing. Just pulls his shirt over his head like the conversation’s over.

It isn’t.

Lucy leans against the row of lockers, arms crossed. “Look, I didn’t want to get involved, but you’re spiraling. And when Tim Bradford spirals, people start punching walls and doing push-ups until their triceps cry for help.”

Tim’s voice is low. “She’s fine.”

“She’s not talking to you.”

“She doesn’t have to.”

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “So you were hooking up.”

He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t even flinch.

Lucy whistles. “Damn. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Tim exhales slowly, resting his forehead against the cool metal. “It wasn’t supposed to be anything.”

“But?”

He hesitates.

Lucy watches him carefully. “But?”

“I don’t know,” he says finally. “She got under my skin.”

Lucy nods. “Yeah. That tends to happen when you’re in love.”

Tim turns to her, eyes flinty. “It wasn’t love.”

“Sure.”

“She’s almost twenty years younger than me.”

“And?”

“She’s reckless. She pulled strings to partner with me.”

“She also stood her ground during a live gunfire incident and patched your hand when you busted your knuckles punching a brick wall.”

Tim doesn’t respond.

Lucy softens. “Look. I don’t know what happened between you two. But I’ve known you long enough to know when someone’s got you twisted in knots. Go to her. Fix it.”

It takes him until midnight.

You’re not surprised when he knocks.

You hear the heavy sound of his boots on the hallway first—then the pause, then the knock. He doesn’t knock like a neighbor. He knocks like someone who built you into his routine and doesn’t know how to function without it.

But you don’t answer.

You sit cross-legged on the couch, hoodie pulled over your knees, and sip from a lukewarm mug of tea you don’t even like.

You hear the second knock. Then his sigh. Then silence.

“I know you’re there,” he says through the door, voice low and rough. “You’re loud in heels. But I swear—you’re louder barefoot.”

Your heart stutters.

You stay quiet.

He exhales, palm pressing to the door.

“I didn’t mean to push you away.”

You roll your eyes. “You didn’t push me away, Bradford. You made it very clear where I stand. Or don’t stand.”

He laughs, but it’s bitter. “Yeah. I’m a dumbass.”

You don’t deny it.

Tim leans closer. “I just… I didn’t want to ruin what we had. And I thought keeping it casual would keep it safe.”

You raise an eyebrow even though he can’t see it. “Casual? You kissed my shoulder when you thought I was asleep. You stocked your fridge with my favorite iced coffee.”

Silence.

“Casual my ass,” you mutter.

You still don’t open the door. You hear his exhale through the wood.

“I didn’t mean that,” he says, quieter this time. “You know I didn’t.”

You hate that his voice still does that to you. That low rumble laced with something vulnerable. Something only you ever get from him—when no one’s watching. Not Lucy. Not his team. Not his goddamn conscience.

“You said I wasn’t worth the risk,” you remind him, because he needs to hear it. Needs to sit with the way it burned through you like acid.

A pause.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

Silence.

You wait. The kind of silence where seconds stretch until they feel like bruises. He doesn’t answer, and that tells you enough.

You move to the door, pressing your back against it, still not ready to open it. “Go home, Tim.”

“I am home,” he says softly, and fuck. Fuck him for saying that.

The ache spreads. It’s not even anger anymore. It’s that thing you hate admitting even to yourself. Longing.

You press your palms to your eyes. “You don’t get to say that.”

Another pause.

“Okay. Fine. You won’t talk to me?”

You don’t answer. You don’t have to.

He must hear the way your breath hitches through the door, because his next words come sharp.

“Then I’ll make you talk.”

The knock stops. The silence twists.

Then the click of the door handle turning, slow—because you forgot to lock it. You never lock it when you expect him.

The door opens, and there he is.

Post-shift, tired eyes, hand still on the doorknob like he’s giving you one last second to throw him out.

You don’t.

He steps in and shuts the door behind him.

You’re still in your hoodie, hair up in that messy knot he always said made you look like you “tried not to look hot,” and failed.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Just drinks you in. Quiet, serious, unreadable. Then, in three strides, he’s in front of you, his hand tilting your chin up.

“I fucked up.”

You blink. “You think?”

He doesn’t smile. He just leans in—closer than he’s let himself in weeks.

“Say something.”

You don’t. You won’t.

So he does what Tim Bradford always does when he’s cornered by emotion—

He acts.

His lips crash into yours before you can say another word. It’s not soft. It’s not gentle. It’s desperate. Like he’s trying to apologize with every breath he pulls from you.

Your hands fist in his shirt before your brain catches up. Before your heart can argue. Because you’ve missed this. Him. The heat. The feel of his body like a shield and a furnace all at once.

He pulls back just far enough to murmur, “You’re mine.”

You open your mouth—maybe to argue, maybe to fall apart—but he kisses you again before the words come.

“Say it,” he breathes against your skin, kissing down your jaw. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you whisper, dazed, breathless, undone. “And you’re mine as well.”

His hands tighten around your waist, like he’s trying to ground himself to the words. Like you’ve said something dangerous, holy.

“I’ve been yours,” he says hoarsely, “since the moment I met you, Barbie doll.”

Your knees nearly give out.

He lifts you—effortlessly—and carries you to the couch, laying you down like you’re something fragile and irreplaceable.

This isn’t just sex anymore.

This is everything that’s been building. All the friction, the denial, the tension that snapped the moment he let himself feel.

The hoodie is the first thing to go. His hands slow, reverent. Like he’s memorizing the shape of you.

He kisses your chest, your neck, your mouth again. “I don’t care about the age gap,” he murmurs. “Or the job. Or the risk. I care about you.”

You close your eyes and arch into him. He’s not just making love to you. He’s choosing you. Out loud. Without hesitation.

And the best part is—you’re finally choosing him back.

The next morning, sunlight filters through the blinds, casting a warm glow over the room. You stir, feeling the steady rhythm of Tim’s heartbeat beneath your cheek.

“Morning,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sleep.

You look up at him, a smile tugging at your lips. “Morning.”

He brushes a strand of hair from your face. “So, does this mean we’re official or something?”

You chuckle. “I think last night made that pretty clear.”

He grins, pulling you closer. “Good. Because I don’t plan on letting you go.”

You nestle into his embrace, feeling a sense of contentment you hadn’t known you were missing.

And in that moment, everything feels right.

[writingwithcolor]

WWC’s A Beginner’s Guide to Academic Research

We are pleased to present  WWC’s A Beginner’s Guide to Academic Research!

This pandemic project has been over 2 years in the making and we hope it will greatly assist any of our readers who are eager to conduct in-depth research but may be at a loss where to start. 

Go to the Guide Here

The guide is split into 6 parts:

Introduction and Table of Contents

Part 1: Getting Started

Part 2: Searching for Sources Online 

Part 3: Evaluating Sources

Part 4: Navigating Academic Sources 

Part 5: Recognizing Your Limits

Each portion of the guide has links to connect to the previous and next sections. While it is possible to view tumblr pages on phones and tablets through the app, we highly recommend viewing this guide via browser on desktop whenever possible. Tumblr page formatting is better suited for browsers and each section is very dense with information, which will make scrolling in the app or on your dashboard difficult. 

Future FAQ/ Discussion: 

As noted in part 5 of the guide, for the next two weeks, we will be keeping an eye on the notes for this post. If you have further questions or comments about academic research, drop them here and we will select the most pertinent to respond to in a later post. 

If you find this guide helpful, we request that you consider tipping the moderators below for the work and time required from conception, to drafting, formatting and debugging. Their ko-fis are listed below: 

Rina: https://ko-fi.com/arcanabean

Marika: https://ko-fi.com/5h1njuu

[channieschaoscorner]

New Beginnings - Stray Kids x female!9th member

Pairing: Chan x 9th Member

Summary: You find out your best friend is getting his chance but all he can think about is how he needs you there with him.

Genre: Fluff mainly, little bit of angst

A/N: Hi guys <3 A nice one with a happy ending to make up for the tears on the last few posts, I hope you enjoy :) This can be read alongside my other 9th member writings, there are a few things that tie them all together <3

Part Two

Masterlist

────୨ৎ────

The JYPE building was always buzzing with people but the only difference today was everyone was talking about the same thing.

The new survival show.

The announcement had been made throughout the company that a new boy group would be formed and they would fight to make it to the end and all debut together. It was exciting, it was intense, it was everything you had been dreaming about. The opportunity to prove yourself and be able to finally debut.

You had already made a name for yourself within the company, spending so many years as a trainee had led to you to your current position. You were senior to many of the younger and newer trainees which often left you teaching and mentoring them, being a reassuring presence in their life for when things got tough, a helping hand for hard practices or monthly evaluations. No one doubted your skills, it was just never the right time to debut you. It wasn’t that the company didn’t appreciate your work, you had often been called in to assist with other groups choreography, the friendships you’d made with others before their own debut had meant they wanted your input on their own concepts.

You’d finished a particularly intense rehearsal session with some of the new rookies when you heard the rumours. You didn’t mean to listen in on their conversations but it was hard not to, not when all the building was discussing was who would be participating in the survival show.

“I’ve heard he gets to choose his own members.”

“No, they’ll have to be approved first. They won’t just let anyone on the show.”

“I don’t know, he’s been here so long. I think they’ll let him take who he wants.”

Your ears pricked at that but you stayed silent.

You kept to yourself for the rest of the day, going through the motions in your own practices, helping the younger trainees, working on a solo project for the evaluations. It had all but been officially confirmed who would be leading the new group, you wanted to wait until he told you himself. No point in feeling your emotions until you knew for sure. It didn’t stop the negativity creeping in though as the day went on, that gnawing feeling at the back on your brain, the part that you tried your hardest to bury down and keep hidden. The selfish, ugly part of you that if you found out it was true, would be upset, disappointed, angry and would selfishly want him to fail so he could stay with you. It was the darkest corner of your mind that made you deeply ashamed to even have those thoughts but it didn’t reflect how you actually felt, in the end, you desperately wanted him to succeed. He had been waiting for his chance so long, much longer than you, you just didn’t anticipate how much it would hurt the day he would finally get it and move on, leaving you behind in his shadow.

The incessant battle of those thoughts is what drove you into a practice room late at night, long since abandoned for the day. It gave you the shelter you needed from the world. The shelter to feel your feelings and move through them in the hopes that when you saw him, you could congratulate him and truly be happy. You connected your phone to the speakers and hit shuffle, you flicked through until you landed on something that pulled at your chest. You weren’t too fussed on the movements, this wasn’t for anything in particular, it didn’t need to be perfect or polished. It was raw and emotional. You had never been great at talking about your feelings, often choosing the option to dance through them instead.

“I knew I’d find you here.” A voice from behind you interrupted your movements.

You opened your eyes and looked into the mirrors, focusing on the person behind you. You bit back a grin, making the choice to ignore the realisation that this wouldn’t be your norm anymore.

“Stalker.”

Chan smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes and he adjusted his backpack as he stepped forward. He was pulling at the straps and bouncing on his feet, unable to keep himself still.

He was nervous.

You knew what this meant.

“I heard the news.” You spoke for him. “Congratulations.”

His eyes widened. “I didn’t realise how many people were talking about it, I was hoping I could talk to you about it first.”

“It’s a big deal, it’s all anyone can talk about.”

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, hesitating at voicing the concerns in head. “It doesn’t feel real.” He admitted. “I’ve waited for this for so long, what if I can’t do it? What if I’m a terrible leader and they don’t actually let us debut in the end.”

Your heart ached for him, you understood the anxiety of this better than most. The added stress on top of being a long standing trainee was often that people expected you to excel from all the experience you had gained. The added pressure on top of that never helped.

You stepped forward and rested your hand gently on his arm. “It’s because you’ve waited so long that you’re going to be able to do it. You know you can do this, don’t doubt yourself now when it’s finally happening.”

His eyes met your own, searching for confirmation that you actually believed what you were saying and that it wasn’t just for his benefit. You held his gaze and squeezed his arm. “You’re going to be amazing. I don’t know anyone else who deserves this more. You can do this.”

He nodded and rolled his shoulders back. “I can do this.”

“You can do this.” You squeezed his arm once more before letting go, you walked away to pick up your bag, making the spontaneous decision to leave with him, it wouldn’t do you any good staying here and working yourself to the bone tonight. You waited for him to walk out the door first and flicked the lights off, closing the door behind you. You walked side by side out of the building, enjoying the silence until you broke it.

“You better remember me when you’re famous. I want a front row ticket to your first show.”

Chan threw his head back and laughed properly for the first time that day.

“There’s not a hope of me ever forgetting about you.”

────୨ৎ────

Chan had made his decision that night when he came to find you but he couldn’t act on it then. If he was being completely honest with himself, he’d been walking around in a daze since finding out about the show. He felt like he was watching himself from someone else’s point of view, merely existing for the sake of it. He gave polite thanks to the congratulations, one word answers to deflect when he was cornered with questions about who he would pick and swallowing down the urge to cry at how his life was about to change. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to find you straight away to talk to you about it but he knew he couldn’t. He was all too aware of what your schedule was like now, ever since you had finished school the company had you in practice after practice, singing, dancing, rapping. If it wasn’t your own practices then it was the rookies and if it wasn’t the rookies then it was choreographers and idols that wanted your opinion on routines. He’d never tell you but he was scared they wouldn’t debut you because if they did the loss that would come from it would be too great. An unofficial teacher, mentor, choreographer. Not that you weren’t credited for your work but he knew it wasn’t what you wanted.

When he walked into the practice room and saw you dancing, he couldn’t help but long for the comfort and stability of your friendship. Your friendship had come at a time in his life when he was closed off from most. Too dark, too moody and too closed off had prevented others from trying but the night he had barged in on you practising had switched something in him. He saw the possibility there, someone like him, someone that understood him and even though it terrified him, he let you in.

In the years that followed, you had both been a constant support to each other. An unshakeable presence in each other’s lives. The idea that he would have to leave you behind in order to pursue the opportunity in front of him made him feel ill.

Not that he would ever say it to you though.

He could imagine what you would say, the chastising, the lecture of how he needed to forget about you and move on. This was his chance and he needed to take it. Take it and run, leave you behind and don’t look back.

An impossible task.

If he had thought about it more carefully, he would have asked you first. He would have sat you down and explained his plan, how he thought it could work and what you thought about the whole situation.

He did none of that.

Instead he marched into JYP’s office, fuelled by panic and fear at the thought of his life moving on without you in it. The idea of you becoming disconnected and a person who would be referred to as ‘someone who he used to know’ is what drove him to send the email at 3am requesting an urgent meeting. He spoke almost feverishly about what an asset you would be, how much you could contribute to the group, you’d known him for years, you both understood each others work styles, you would be strength in dancing that he was lacking in. He would be able to produce and could trust you fully for choreographing. It wasn’t a want to have you in the group, it was a need.

JYP stayed silent, taking in the rambling. He took an opportunity to speak when Chan finally took a breath. He held up his hand to stop him starting on another rant again. “I think you’ve made your point.”

Chan shifting uncomfortably in his chair, eyes glancing at the clock on the wall and he felt his face start to burn when he realised just how long he had been rambling for.

“I can see you feel passionate about Y/N joining. I won’t lie to you, I have my reservations about this. The plan was for a boy group, we have no plans to start debuting co-ed groups.”

Chan opened his mouth, ready to go off again on how much of an asset you could be.

“But…” JYP continued. “I do also appreciate that I told you could choose who you wanted for this so if you believe that she’ll be a strong contender for you, I’m inclined to trust you.”

The room tipped and Chan gripped the sides of his chair. The metal dug uncomfortably into his hand but he forced himself to grip it tighter, needing the stabilisation and grounding that it gave him.

“I want to speak to her first. Bring her here and we can discuss it more.”

Chan nodded, bowed and practically fell out the office door. He was stunned at himself for what he had just done, now he needed to find you. Clearly JYP was under the impression he had discussed this with you first, that would’ve been the smarter thing to do but it was too late for that kind of logic now.

Chan tore through the corridors of the building, by chance you had sent him a copy of your schedule weeks ago when he needed you for something. He was in autopilot, his legs carried him towards the room you would be heading into. He spotted your head in the crowd and like all of his decisions so far, he acted first and would kick himself for it later.

“Y/N!” He voice carried down the hallway.

Your head snapped around, along with the others who were going to train. He pushed past the embarrassment and forced his way through the crowd with muttered apologies.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’m about to go into practice, can it wait?’

He shook his head, he spun on the spot searching for somewhere to speak to you. In the end, he settled for the staircase. He gripped your arm and pulled you behind him, ignoring the noise you made and being pulled with no warning.

“What is going on?”

“Do it with me.” His eyes were feverish and he was hot and clammy to the extent that you actually put your hand onto his forehead. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” He pulled your hand off him but kept a tight grip on your fingers. “Do it with me. The survival show. Join the group. It doesn’t feel right to do it without you. I don’t want to do it without you.”

Your jaw dropped, caught so off guard by him concerning you with this that you were rendered speechless (which was a hard thing to do), in the back of his head he was momentarily impressed with himself and made a note to bring it up again later.

“But it’s a boy group. What about the others? What about JYP? What about-” You had found your voice again, words falling out rapidly that if it was anyone else in front of you they would find it hard to keep up.

“I don’t care.” Chan cut you off. “I don’t want anyone there who has a problem with you and I don’t want anyone there if it means you can’t be. I need you for this.”

You ran your hands through your hair, tugging it on it nervously. “What about JYP? He told you it would be a boy group on the survival show, he won’t be happy about this.”

“That’s why I needed to speak to you. He already knows, he wants to speak to you now about it. That’s why I needed you now.”

His grip on your hand was still tight, his gaze unwavering, searching your face for any clue about what you were thinking.

“Do it with me.” He pleaded.

“Ok.” You breathed, your brain was running at a 100 miles an hour and it was all you could get out.

“Ok?” He asked, needed you to say it again.

“I think you’re insane for this but ok. Ok, I’ll join the survival show.”

Chan stared at you for a moment, desperately searching for any sign of doubt or uncertainty but when he found none he let your hand go and flung himself at you. His arms wrapped around your shoulders and he pulled you in, jumping and cheering.

“Ok let’s go, we can’t keep him waiting.” He picked your bag up and settled for grabbing your hand again to pull you down the hallway back to the office. Not that you needed to be pulled though, you kept up with his pace allowing the excitement to settle in that not only were you about to get your chance, you were getting it with you best friend.

────୨ৎ────

Taglist: @m-325 @imeverycliche @mythicmochi @hynjnnie @mbioooo0000

[kleopatra45]

Do you intend to make a post about stellium in the houses on the solar return chart ?

Stelliums in the Houses [Solar Return]

1st House

A 1st House stellium in the solar return chart highlights a year of self-focus and personal development. You'll be driven to assert your identity, make changes to your appearance, or take charge of your life direction. This is a year to focus on self-awareness, personal goals, and how you present yourself to the world. Expect significant changes in how you view yourself and how others perceive you.

2nd House

A stellium in the 2nd House indicates a year of financial focus and re-evaluating your values. Your earning potential, material possessions, and financial stability will be central themes. You may be driven to increase your income, invest in new resources, or reassess what you truly value in life. This is also a year where your self-worth and how it relates to your material wealth will be tested and potentially redefined.

3rd House

When the 3rd House is emphasized by a stellium, communication, learning, and your immediate environment become pivotal. This is a year of increased mental activity, where you might take up new studies, start a writing project, or strengthen relationships with siblings and neighbors. The pace of daily life may quicken, with more travel, social interactions, and exchanges of ideas.

4th House

A 4th House stellium points to a year focused on home, family, and your emotional foundation. You might move, renovate, or invest more energy into your living situation. Family dynamics and your relationship with parents, especially your mother, will play a significant role. This is also a time for inner reflection, dealing with past issues, and strengthening your emotional roots.

5th House

A stellium in the 5th House brings creativity, romance, and self-expression to the forefront. This could be a year of artistic pursuits, new romantic relationships, or a stronger focus on children if you have them. Your desire for pleasure, fun, and taking risks will be heightened. You might feel a strong urge to create something unique or to fully express your individuality in a new way.

6th House

With a 6th House stellium, your work, health, and daily routines become the focus. You might take on new responsibilities at work, become more health-conscious, or make significant changes to your daily habits. This is a year where you are called to service, whether through your job, volunteering, or simply helping others in practical ways. Health and wellness practices may take on new importance.

7th House

A 7th House stellium in the solar return chart emphasizes relationships and partnerships. This could be a year of significant developments in your marriage, business partnerships, or other close relationships. Issues of balance, cooperation, and commitment will come to the surface. You might also attract new partnerships or face challenges that require diplomacy and negotiation.

8th House

The 8th House stellium brings transformation, shared resources, and deep psychological processes into focus. This could be a year of dealing with joint finances, taxes, inheritances, or debts. Intimate relationships might go through profound changes, or you may confront issues of power, control, and taboo subjects. It's a year for deep emotional work, facing fears, and perhaps a symbolic or literal rebirth.

9th House

A stellium in the 9th House highlights a year of expansion through travel, higher education, or spiritual pursuits. You might be drawn to new philosophies, religions, or cultures, seeking to broaden your understanding of the world. This is a time to explore new horizons, whether through physical travel, academic study, or a quest for truth and meaning. Legal matters or international connections may also play a role.

10th House

With a 10th House stellium, career and public life take center stage. This is a year where your professional ambitions, reputation, and long-term goals come into sharp focus. You may receive recognition for your achievements or feel a strong drive to advance in your career. Authority figures, including bosses or even your own role as a leader, will be significant. Expect changes in your public image or career trajectory.

11th House

A stellium in the 11th House emphasizes friendships, social networks, and long-term aspirations. This could be a year where you play a more active role in groups or communities, or where you align yourself with causes and organizations that reflect your ideals. Friendships may become more important, and you could find support for your goals through social connections. Your vision for the future will be a central focus.

12th House

The 12th House stellium points to a year of introspection, spirituality, and dealing with hidden matters. You might feel the need to retreat, focus on your inner life, or confront subconscious patterns. This could be a year of letting go, healing past wounds, or dealing with issues related to confinement, isolation, or endings. Spiritual growth and self-awareness will be key themes, as you prepare for a new cycle of personal development.

I will post 'Stellium in the Signs' soon!

I hope this helps! ♥️

©️kleopatra45

[allaboutthemoonlight]

Becoming the “It” girl: using science to redefine your identity

Hello friends,

A longer post today but I’m excited about this one!

I like to define an "It Girl" as someone who embodies the highest version of oneself, a created identity that reflects your most aspirational qualities and personal vision of success and confidence.

However, this post isn’t bout conforming to standards or expectations but rather embodying the best version of who you imagine yourself to be.

Today, I wanted to talk about how social science-based principles like self-presentation, cognitive dissonance, and identity alignment can help u become an“It Girl” in our own lives and achieve the identity you’ve been desiring.

What is identity

Our identity impacts all areas of our life; it’s the person we think we are and how we communicate that to others.

For example, if you see yourself as confident and capable, you are more likely to approach challenges with a positive attitude and take risks that lead to growth.

On the other hand, if you view yourself as unworthy, you are more likely to shy away from opportunities and not reach your full potential.

Our identity manifests as how we present ourselves to the world, including our body language, communication styles, and behavior.

In addition, our identities are constantly changing as we grow and evolve, influenced by our experiences, goals, and relationships with the people around us. This is why it’s important to continue to refine your personal brand and set standards for yourself to stay authentic.

Taking the time to evaluate our current identity and identifying areas where we can make changes is a good way to get aligned with our highest selves. We can ask ourselves questions such as:

How do I describe myself in three words?

What are my core values and beliefs?

How do I typically respond to challenges and setbacks?

What are my strengths and weaknesses?

How do I feel about my abilities and potential for success?

How do I present myself to others in social and professional settings?

What is my body language like in different situations (e.g., confident, reserved)?

How do I communicate with others (e.g., assertive, passive, aggressive)?

What kind of feedback do I receive from others about my behavior and attitude?

Do my actions align with the person I want to be?

How do I handle criticism and praise?

What goals do I have for personal and professional growth?

What is Self-Presentation?

Self-presentation involves the things we do to portray a particular image of ourselves; it’s how we dress, speak, behave, and present ourselves in different contexts. Our self-presentation is closely linked to our identity because it shapes how others perceive us, which can influence how we see ourselves.

Projecting the identity we want and living by our values and beliefs requires consistent management of our self-presentation. Our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions should reflect those of the identity we’re internalizing.

For example, if your identity is someone who is stylish, you’ll want to curate your wardrobe in a way that reflects that. In a similar context, if your new identity is someone who’s highly education you might start to spend some of your free time reading books, articles, newsletters, etc.

It’s all about helping to align how others see us with how we see ourselves.

Although other people’s opinions shouldn’t dictate our lives, a big part of our identity is shaped by how others view us. Their feedback can either affirm or refute what we’ve internalized to be true.

Here are some techniques for mastering self-presentation and how they can be used to access your highest self:

Dress in a way that reflects your identity, curate a wardrobe that matches who you aspire to be

Use confident body language, such as maintaining eye contact and standing/sitting upright in social settings

Practice speaking with clarity and confidence

Clean up your social media and only follow content that aligns with your identity or helps keep you on track

Establish and maintain boundaries without people in your life that reflect your values and priorities

Invest in personal and professional development through courses, workshops, and reading

Surround yourself with people and environments that support and reflect your highest self/new identity

Regularly express gratitude and maintain a positive outlook

Questions to evaluate and improve self-presentation

What are my core values and how do they influence my behavior?

How do I want others to perceive me?

Does my current wardrobe reflect the person I want to be?

What body language habits can I improve to appear more confident?

How can I improve my communication skills to better align with my desired identity?

In what ways can I be more consistent in how I present myself across different contexts?

What feedback have I received about my self-presentation, and how can I use it to improve?

Am I living in a way that aligns with my highest self, or are there areas where I can improve?

What actions can I take today to better project the identity I want?

How can I ensure my actions are authentic and reflect my true self?

How cognitive dissonance impacts us

Rebranding yourself and changing your identity involves leaving your old life behind. It sounds simple, but it can be very a mentally exhausting change. This is where cognitive dissonance comes into effect.

Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort experienced when our actions conflict with our beliefs or values. If we’re not acting in accordance with our beliefs, we’ll end up with mental discomfort. As a result, we either end up changing our habits or our beliefs.

For example, if you see yourself as an active person but keep skipping the gym, high dissonance might make you change your belief instead of your habit. You might start telling routinely yourself, "It's just this once," rather than actually going.

This may sound stressful and prove to be a challenge during your rebrand. However, dissonance can play a positive role if you’ve strongly internalized a core aspect of your identity. For example, if you see yourself as someone health-conscious or someone who frequents the gym, you’ll consistently find ways to show that this is true, whether that’s going to the gym daily or meal prepping.

In terms of identity formation, when we highlight inconsistencies between our self-perception and our actions, we actually push towards more aligned behavior.

When we recognize that our actions don’t align with who we believe we are, we can use that discomfort to motivate positive change.

In combination with the tips previously mentioned, we can also:

Regularly evaluate our actions and beliefs to identify any discrepancies. Ask ourselves if our behavior aligns with our values and goals

Define specific, actionable steps that align with our desired identity. This can help create a guideline for behavior that supports us

Be willing to accept change and continue to grow and learn more about ourselves

So how can we apply these principles to become an “It Girl”

Define our "It Girl" identity:

Self-reflection: take time to reflect on who you want to be. Write down the qualities, values, and behaviors that define your highest self

Vision board: create a vision board (physical or digital) with images, words, and quotes that represent your ideal identity so that you’re constantly reminded of your goal

Align your self-presentation:

Wardrobe audit: go through your closet and sort items that don’t align with your desired identity. Also invest in pieces that make you feel confident and reflect your new persona

Body language: practice positive body language such as standing tall, maintaining eye contact in conversations

Use cognitive dissonance to your advantage:

Identify inconsistencies: regularly assess your actions and identify areas where they don’t align with your desired identity

Set goals: create specific, actionable goals to address these inconsistencies. For example, if you want to be healthier plan to incorporate more whole foods into your diet

Monitor progress: keep track of your progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated

Cultivate positive habits:

Daily routines: establish daily routines that support your identity. This could include a morning exercise routine or a consistent skincare routine

Mindfulness practices: incorporate daily mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling

Continue to learn: commit to lifelong learning. Read books, take courses, and seek new experiences that contribute to your personal growth

Build a support system:

Find mentors: seek out mentors or role models who embody qualities you admire. Learn from their experiences and guidance

Surround yourself with positivity: build a network of supportive friends and family who encourage and inspire you

Rebranding yourself is a long and tedious journey, but with a little help from some science-based principles it can be as beneficial as ever!

As always,

Love Luna <3

[erodasfishtacos]

F*cking Sellout - NFL!H Part II

prompt: the morning in the hospital trudges up a lot of good and bad memories.

word count: 3.2k words

warnings: angst, brief mention of nausea/throwing up

author's note:

I upload a piece of writing every 1-2 days.

There are multiple other parts of this up and will be updated this month

I recently started a second tier called The OG Tier where 2

one shots (1-4kish) are posted a week.

There are currently 350 + pieces available to read

Tier I - $3 USD where you get access to main stories, everything except the mini one shots.

Tier II - $5 USD where you get access to every piece of writing!

you can check it out here

first ten to click here can get a free $5 membership for a month!

-> NFL collection <-

Harry is awoken to his phone vibrating in his pocket.

For a moment, he is completely disoriented and doesn’t have a clue where he is.

He had been in a deep sleep, when his eyes crack open and he sees that it’s a hospital bed, the first thought is that he had injured himself during the game and was now getting treatment.

It has happened quite a few times over his career, where the on-site trainers couldn’t mend his injury, and he had to go get evaluated at the hospital but never to where he didn't remember the journey there.

But there’s a heavy warmth on his chest, blinking down, it’s fucking jarring to see his high school sweetheart laying across him like she owns him - like nothing has changed in three long years.

There’s a familiarity, that’s not even that right word because it’s stronger than that, to their bodies because they’d been together for eight years.

They had been each other’s first everything from kiss to heartbreak and those were memories that would never be forgotten.

As he stared down at her, he couldn’t get over how pretty she was.

The bruising on her face was absolutely gnarly but it didn’t do anything to hide what was underneath all of it.

A beauty that he would never get over, and through the eight years, he never got used to being with someone who looked like her.

But more importantly, who was as smart, kind, empathic, and downright funny.

Harry had been on PR dates, actual dates, and slept with a few models.

A lot of it was boredom, most of it was, and he didn’t like who he was when he had these random hookups.

He’d been in a serious relationship up until his senior year of college.

He had never cheated or been unfaithful in anyway which meant going into the NFL was a new experience in so many different ways.

The way he projected up as one of the best football players in the league had people drawn to him like he had some magnetic pull.

It was like that in high school and college, but it was easy to dodge any advances from interested individuals because YN was constantly at his side, they didn’t have time or the privacy with him to even get close enough to flirt.

++

Harry was desperately searching for YN in the group of sweaty, drunk college students in the backyard of the frat.

It was a massive party where the boys had strung up cheap fairy lights in rows, set up cornhole boards, and multiple tables for a beer bong championship (Harry always won).

If YN was clung to Harry’s side like a koala, then it was vice versa.

Teammates had made comments in the past, ‘isn’t annoying that she never leaves your side during the parties? Never have any room to breathe.’

He loved the lack of air, the suffocation, if that meant he was constantly accompanied by her.

Never through all the years of their relationship had he ever wanted distance, he never felt overwhelmed or smothered by her - she had always been his safe person.

But the teammates also didn’t see the flipside of that.

When YN wasn't by his side at parties, he was seeking her out, and saddling up to whatever conversation that she was in if he felt like he could without intruding like a prick of a boyfriend.

They didn’t see that when she had gone off to talk to someone else for too long, Harry would find her with a pout and mumble, “Missed you.”

Despite whom Harry was, the face of the football team, the winner of the Heisman trophy, and getting scouted by NFL teams since he was in high school - he had severe social anxiety.

All the attention was fear-inducing for him, he hid it well for interviews but off-the-field, he hated the large crowds, the random people that wanted to hug and talk to him, and the amount of social interaction that he had to have on the day-to-day.

It was constantly a lot for him to process, YN helped, she was always his safe point that he could come back to when his anxiety started to elevate, and she knew every single time how to make it better.

Harry was starting to get the quickening heart rate, the party was loud, everyone was exceptionally drunk, and it was hot outside - enough that the curls peeking out from under his backwards snapback were starting to wilt onto the nape of his neck.

His management team had pretty much forced him into the frat without choice, stating that it would be absurd for the face of the football team to not have a spot in the most desired fraternity on campus, and crushing his dreams of sharing an off-campus apartment with YN.

She was understanding, supportive but he wasn’t blind to the sacrifices she’s made for their relationship since they were fifteen.

Harry much preferred YN’s quiet, single suite that shared a kitchen with three other individual suites.

All of her suitemates were nice, school-oriented girls who were in their own committed relationships.

YN was never one to be involved in drama, she was always rooting for everyone around her, supportive and kind which made a lot of people flock to her, come to her for advice, a shoulder to cry on.

Harry and YN would curl up on her tiny twin mattress, limbs twisted, and he’d still rather be there than his queen size at the frat.

His anxiety was starting to raise which was a sure sign that he was ready to leave the party if YN was.

He had a huge game in two days, no matter how natural of an athlete he was, he still had these near debilitating nerves before each and everyone of them.

It was a blessing and a curse to be ‘the face of the football team’.

As the captain, the MVP, he got all the kudos, awards, and accolades that others could only dream about getting.

He also had the weight of the team riding on his performance.

It always seemed to fall back on him when they lost a game, a flock of pointed questions at the post-game interview that shifted blame to his performance rather than his teammates, and as the captain, he took responsibility.

The music was pounding, vibrating in his ears, and did he mention it was hot?

It was almost impossible for him to make a clear line towards the backdoor of the house without being bombarded by someone slapping him on the back or wanting to talk about the upcoming game for fifteen minutes.

Where was YN?

She had squeezed his hip as he was talking to a friend, telling him that her best friend, Kai, just texted her that she had arrived at the party after her work shift, and she was going to go find her.

There's a large wrap porch that he had a feeling they were on, nobody conjugated out there except to smoke a cigarette or have a private conversation where they didn’t have to be screaming in each other’s faces to hear what they were saying.

There was a rickety wooden porch swing, chains rusted and has probably been hung there since the nineties that YN liked to sit on, curl up like a cat and lay across Harry’s lap when the weather was cool but not chilled yet, the sun warming her.

And his hunch was right.

When he steps onto the porch through the front door, YN and Kai look over with a knowing expression.

There’s nothing but love and concern in her voice when she says, “Ready to go, baby?”

Harry never wants YN to miss out on opportunities to have fun if she had wanted to stay and that made him a little anxious too - that he was constantly ruining her time because he’d rather leave and be alone with her in the dorm.

“I can wait,” Harry assures her, waving to Kai, “I..just when you are, I wanted to let you know. I’ll be ready.”

“We were just bullshitting. I better go find Jackson before he passes out in someone else's backyard again,” Kai cracks a smile, her and Harry got along well, and Harry enjoyed spending time with her boyfriend, Jackson, who was on the team as well.

Kai disappears inside with a pat to his shoulder, mumbling about how muggy the house felt from all of the bodies in such a small, poorly ventilated space.

“Where are you?” YN asks softly as she stands from the swing, walking right into his arms and letting him bury his face in her hair.

“Six,” Harry responds with a sigh, “The game and all these people. It’s just starting to overwhelm me.”

It was a question YN asked a few times a day, if not more, asking where he was - she was checking in on his level of anxiety.

Then she responded accordingly.

“Let’s get you back to mine, yeah?” YN slips her hand under the back of his shirt, sliding upwards and rubbing his tensed muscles, “Get your anxiety down. Have a good night sleep.”

“My anxiety is already starting to lessen,” Harry replies mulishly as he pushes into her touch, the pressure she was putting on his muscles was heavenly, she knew exactly where to press, “It always does when I’m with you. S’just being away from you.”

“I know, it’s a good thing we’ll never be apart, huh?” YN smiles as she thumbs at his spine, there was so much love in every single touch, every time, and he didn’t realize how much he took it for granted until he was alone in bed, cursing everything in existence when all he wants is that contact again.

++

Harry tries not to disturb YN, she definitely was going to need a lot of rest with her injuries and trying to recover.

He manages to slip his phone from his pocket, sliding it up to his ear with a barely audible whisper, “Hello?”

“Styles, Coach Greene wants you on a private jet in an hour. He wants us to get to Dallas to have a strat meeting before practice starts with you. He really feels like you're the key to getting them through. You’re really the only member on the team that he’s not doubting. I already have the jet set up, send me your address so I can get a driver to pick you up,” Harry’s manager, George tells him, he can hear rustling in the background because George would now have to be on that flight too.

“I -” Harry’s eyes darted down to YN, who was sleeping peacefully on him, and this is the thing he has missed for the past three years.

The thing that he had grieved, still hasn’t completely healed from, and if he had been anywhere close to healing - now that wound was ripped open, raw, and oozing.

Possibly even more painful than the first time.

“I’m not supposed to fly out to Dallas until tomorrow,” Harry tells George with frustration, he had quite literally promised YN that he would be here, and he wanted to be here more than anything else, “I…I have shit planned.”

It wasn’t an option, Harry doesn’t even know why he’s arguing.

He’s under a contractual obligation, he really couldn’t say ‘no’ because his life was assumed to be football twenty-four hours during the season, and this wasn’t something that he could blow-off or turn down.

Coach Greene wasn’t asking.

If he refused, not only would it result in a fine for breach of contract but his coaches would surely have consequences for him - extra training hours, extra workouts, the list is endless.

“Harry,” George sighs, he was most likely rubbing the bridge of his nose under his thick-rimmed glasses, “Greene was pretty upset with some of the linemen’s performance yesterday, I don’t think now is the time to push his limits. You know?”

“I’ll send you the address,” Harry relents before hanging up, he was devastated and he didn’t know how he was going to leave her again, after promising her that he’d stay because that’s the main reason she broke it off in the first place was because of too many broken promises.

++ a few weeks before the breakup ++

Harry lets himself into YN’s dorm room after his late-night practice that the coach had called last minute after a few players had gotten in trouble for drinking off campus.

YN was sitting on her bed, still in a pretty flowing dress, makeup done but there were steraks of her mascara that weres starting to stain her cheeks.

She had her phone to her ear, eyes blinking up at Harry as she sniffles, clears her throat, and rasps croakly, “I’ll call you back later, Kai. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah. Bye.”

Harry drops his duffle, frown on his face because seeing her upset was the worst thing that he could imagine, “What happened?”

YN swallows harshly, putting down her phone, and her voice is still soft, calm as it always is, “I…I feel like I do so much for you, Harry. Which I want to do, I love supporting you, your career, anything you need. Lately you…It feels very one-sided recently.”

Harry’s stomach starts to churn, hearing her talk like this was horrible, and the worst part was that he knew he had been slacking.

The journey of getting into the NFL had been extensive, stressful, and all-consuming. 

He couldn’t remember to take a shower somedays which led to a lot of different things falling to the wayside.

The biggest thing was the love of his fucking life.

“Did I forget something?” Harry asks with a dry throat, he already knew the answer.

YN chuckles without smiling, “Why do you act like it’s a surprise? You don’t remember anything anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry’s heart was pounding, rushingi nto his ears like he just ran a play, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Can you even remember what tonight was?” YN asks as she smooths out a pleat of her dress, trying to stop tears from falling.

He couldn’t.

Harry feels like the biggest piece of shit when he admits, “No, I don’t. I’m sure if you give me a minute-”

“The Young Photographers of America dinner ceremony, where I was nominated for an award?” YN can’t control the tear that slips down her cheek, she couldn’t even look at him.

Harry remembers now the excitement that she had when she found out that her professors had put her up for the award.

“Nut, I-”

YN waves her arm limply to her desk, “I won.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” Harry feels tears stinging, god, he can’t stop messing up, “I’m so-”

“Just…don’t,” YN shakes her head, voice dull and disconnected, “I don’t want to hear it. If you were proud of me you would have been there to support me like every other nominee who had their partner there. I was alone with an empty seat and a place card with your name on it.”

YN had told him that if he didn’t make it to her final’s art gallery, it wasn’t going to be a good thing for their relationship.

It was the first time she’d really ever had an ultimatum, she never had to before, and she thought it would work.

And Harry forgot.

++

“Mm, time s’it?” YN slurs sleepily, wincing as soon as she tries to sit up, “Ow. My head.”

“Whoa, be careful, nut,” Harry calms, dread seeping into every fiber of his being, “You have a pretty gnarly concussion.”

“It’s really painful,” YN groans as she relaxes again, wriggling her body even close to his, and it hurts.

It fucking hurts because he can’t make things right.

“The lights are going to stay off, blinds closed to help. Try to keep your eyes closed as much as possible for now,” Harry reminds her, he wants to cuddle her but his body is tense because he knows he’s about to seal their fate because he’s choosing football. 

“Do you want to watch something with me?” YN sounds so much like his YN, from three years ago, like she hasn’t changed at all, “I can listen. Despite the concussion, I slept so well. I haven’t slept right since we’ve broken up.”

“I…”

YN knows him better than anyone else.

Even from the first syllable.

Her eyes open, narrowing, and she pushes herself to sit up despite the ache in her skull.

“You promised,” YN tells him, voice stern and hurt, her bottom lip was trembling.

“My coach called -”

“Get out of my room,” YN raises her volume which was so out of character for her, “Now.”

“Can I just exp-”

“I’m…I shouldn’t have given you another fucking chance. I knew better. I just see you and have this stupid idea that you’re still the Harry that I fell in love with,” YN pushes herself even further away until they’re not touching, “I can’t believe I- Just leave.”

Harry has never felt more desperate in his life, “Please, it’s my contra-”

“I don’t need excuses. I shouldn’t have put your name on the list, I should have trusted you,” YN turns until her feet are off the bed, hunched over, and retching like she’s going to be sick, “Go get the nurse and leave. Please. My concussion-”

“Okay,” Harry’s response is shaky as he wants to touch her, help her, “I love you.”

He shouldn’t have said it.

But it had to let her know.

“You sure don’t know how to show it,” YN manages through another wave of nausea, “You’re a fucking sellout.”

++

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: The Research Process

Research is an essential process to keep yourself informed on any topic with reliable sources of information.

Research - the process by which you gather reliable information on a specific topic, typically to answer a particular question, form an opinion, or make a decision.

Academics often separate research into 2 distinct types:

primary research (in which the researcher acquires firsthand experience with the topic) and

secondary research (in which the researcher looks at research others have done on the topic).

There are many different research methods, including:

internet research (using search engines, webpages, and other online resources),

scientific research (using the scientific method to test hypotheses),

local and university library research (using books, encyclopedias, newspaper articles, peer-reviewed journal articles, catalogs, and academic databases and directories), and

interviews (using questionnaires and discussions with subjects).

How to Research

The research process can apply to everything from a scientific research paper to a personal question; each type of research has different expectations and processes. In general, here’s a step-by-step tutorial:

Start with a question. The first step of the research process is to have a question. In the case of academic research, your research question might be on a broad conversation in your field. For example, in humanities, a research question might be: “How did feminism affect American literature in the 1970s?” In the case of personal research, your question might be smaller and more specific: “How do I wake up feeling more rested?” If your research is for a high school or college paper, you might need to brainstorm to come up with a question or move on to the research phase to see what kinds of questions and broad topics interest you.

Search broadly. Your preliminary research on a topic is likely to be general—this search strategy enables you to gather as much general information surrounding the topic as possible. This helps you develop a clearer sense of the scope of your question. In the case of academic research, you might read widely (in topics like feminism, the 1970s, and American literature). In the case of personal research, you might conduct general internet searches for secondary sources that discuss related topics (like alarm clocks, pillows, and meditation techniques).

Narrow your focus. As you conduct research, pay attention to the moments that pique your interest—use them to determine where to conduct more in-depth research. Perhaps a specific novelist seems especially interesting, or you find yourself more drawn to alarm clocks than memory-foam pillows. It is at this stage you should also take time to evaluate the information sources you’ve found to make sure they’re reliable and unbiased.

Conduct specific research. Once your question begins to narrow, you might need to do additional research to hone in on your particular topic. Look around to see if other researchers have had similar questions and published or posted their findings. Alternatively, you might do some primary research and begin testing particular hypotheses. For an academic research paper, it is at this stage you likely have enough information to begin crafting your thesis statement or central claim.

Complete the project. The final stage of the research process is to complete your research project—this might mean writing a final paper, forming a particular opinion, or purchasing a specific solution for your problem. For research that involves writing and publishing a paper, the researcher must also abide by rules of plagiarism, citation information and formats—such as the Modern Language Association (MLA), American Psychological Association (APA), Chicago, and so forth. Even though this is the final step of the research process, it doesn’t mean the project is closed forever—you might find later you need or want to do follow-up research as the topic or your interests change.

Research is a vital process that increases your knowledge and understanding around a topic, rather than forcing you to rely on simply your own background information. Good research allows you to become more informed before you answer a question, to consider all angles before you form an opinion, and to use the experience of others before you make a decision.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[thanook]

right so i was fucking around with the tumblr api and decided to investigate the possibility of automating my blog expansion plans. the idea was to find out who the people i reblog from get their reblogs from, and follow those people if i dont already. while experimenting with this (fairly suboptimal and indefinitely postponned) possibility, i realized that, knowing that these posts are already coming from cool people, i could determine with surprising certainty if i should reblog a post or not by looking for keywords within the post and evaluating the additions made in the notes as well as its overall structure, without the use of ai systems, just with bad ducktape scripting, just like god intended.

knowing this, arose the possibility for me to create a fairly accurate albeit sanitized clone of my blog, which would operate automatically (with no outside feedback other than me fixxing the code with my own bare hands), collecting and evaluating posts on a daily cycle (depending on api limits). it will have a dashboard composed of the people i already follow, removing anyone who wasnt active in over two months, and will use some spaghetti to expand from that in the future. initially, it will reblog anything it deems safe and good enough, but if possible, i plan in stopping it from reblogging anything i reblog with @thanook and pushing it to the daily blog limit, to spice things up. if this projects proves to actually be a good idea, i will make plans to host it properly, and improve its DIRT (Do I Reblog This) evaluation, which will be barebones for the first few post batches. still figuring this out, but im using this as a learning experience, which will force me to finish the project in a forgivable state (unlike DIPLOMATA and Goblinheimer, which wont see the light of day (there's your closure, happy now?)).

this project, however, lacks a name. i can put toghether a quick phtoshop for the pfp, ill probably figure out a banner in time and i already have a few ideas for a colorscheme, but im pretty dead of a decent name.

so, yall got anything?

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - April 22-28

Based on the results of this poll, for the next few weeks I’m gonna test out doing 5 articles a week instead of 10, as part of an effort to maintain my own mental health. If these half-sized posts get markedly fewer notes, I’ll try to figure out a different compromise.

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles!

1. Turning Surfboard Waste Into Sustainable Housing

“A Hawaiian architecture firm has found a creative way to repurpose discarded surfboard foam by transforming it into building blocks for constructing homes. […] The firm also partners with local businesses to collect foam from packaging materials[….] While the materials used are lightweight, they still offer excellent insulation and durability, addressing both environmental and practical needs.”

2. HHS Walks Back “Autism Registry” Plans

“Thursday April 24th, HHS said in written statements to multiple journalists that they will not be creating an autism registry, contrary to Dr. Bhattacharya’s statements. HHS’ reversal on creating an autism registry shows that even when it seems that no one is listening, your voice matters. Public outcry seems to have caused HHS to change course and walk away from some of the most concerning aspects of the project. Right now, HHS does not appear to be creating a centralized list of autistic people that could be used against our community.”

3. Teaming up to track the Pacific walrus

“In Alaska, western scientists often collaborate with Alaska Native hunters when counting, tagging, and/or sampling wildlife. The Indigenous knowledge and expertise that these hunters bring encompasses everything from animal behavior and capture techniques, to reading the weather and sea ice.”

4. Workers in 600+ US Cities to Protest 'Billionaire Takeover' on May Day

“The protests will take place in over 600 cities in all 50 states, said organizers[….] “Across the nation, we're reclaiming May Day in the spirit it was born, in solidarity with immigrants, in defense of all working people who make our schools run, our hospitals heal, our trains move, and our cities thrive."”

5. Loos to loaves: How the ‘nervous wees’ of London Marathon runners are being turned into fertiliser

“The campaign is powered by Peequal, a company designing women’s urinals that it claims are 2.7 times faster to use than traditional port-a-loos[.…] Instead of being sent into sewage systems, the collected urine will be treated using bacteria to extract nutrients like nitrogen, a chemical that wheat craves. The fertiliser will then be trialled on test fields to evaluate its performance. According to NPK Recovery’s estimates, 1,000 litres of urine could eventually grow enough wheat for about 195 loaves of bread.”

Bonus: Wildlife livestreams!

April 15-21 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[intuitively-her]

This reading is going to be a collab with @icanseethefuture333 so make sure to check out her post as well! 🫶🏽🥰

You need to try things that are outside of your comfort zone. Take a different approach with your work. Save your money! I feel like y'all have a tendency to go out and spend your money when you know you should be saving. It's time for a renewal. Get rid of old patterns and behaviors so that new opportunities can come in for you. A long-awaited opportunity may present itself to you, however you need to make sure that you approach and handle it in a balanced manner. You have the potential to obtain long-term wealth, but you need to tap into your skills, talents, and resources to help you get there. Things could look so much different for you, but you're holding yourself back by not taking control.

⭐Angel Answers: You're ready, Abundance, No need to worry, No

You need to invest your money in either stocks or a "piggy bank".💴 This is making me think of those money-saving books from tiktok. Your hard work and dedication will pay off, but you need to remember to also focus on your personal growth and commitments along the way. Don't get lost in the sauce. You're on the right path to achieving your material goals, just make sure that you remain practical with your decision-making.

⭐Angel Answers: No need to worry, Get more information

You need to take a step back and re-evaluate your priorities. This shift that has suddenly occurred in your life is necessary. It's time to gain a new perspective. It would really benefit you to work with others at this time. You need to seek help/guidance from someone that has more experience than you. Take notes. 📝 It would make your work much easier for you. Someone here could be thinking about exploring other career options. This will be good for you! For someone specific, traveling and exploring your options in a new state/city would be helpful for you.

⭐Angel Answers: Romance, Yes, Trust, Get more information

This is the perfect time to start a new business venture/project. Take advantage of the opportunities that you have around you at this time. Tap into your inner-child and explore your creative efforts. You bring a lot to the table. Continue your efforts and hard work. You're almost there! The harder you work, the greater the reward will be.💰Use your wisdom and intellect to navigate at this time. Make decisions based on logic rather than your personal feelings. You also need to be more frugal at this time.

⭐Angel Answers: Don't stop, There's something better, Abundance, Yes

*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*

🤍Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!🤍

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