#pretty sure this wouldn't work like that in real life but this fiction so-

[lynnuvo]

Of Course a Prince Needs a Princess

Characters: Yandere Prince x Female (Y/N) In which you reincarnate into a fairytale where Yan!Prince wants his happy ending too

𝑃̲𝑟̲𝑜̲𝑙̲𝑜̲𝑔̲𝑢̲𝑒̲

Having a second chance at life in exchange for the death of your previous one came with a crash. You weren't sure how it happened, but you luckily retained your memories and your wit.

It didn't take long to find out you were in a world akin to Cinderella's story--from the stepmothers to the talking mice to the royalty the citizens praised. Unfortunately, you weren't looking to live in a grand castle. Or maybe you were, but not with being married to a man you don't have feelings for. The original couple got together so quick, yet they barely knew each other. That story was definitely as it was: a work of fiction

Your new plan? Put up with the stepsisters, find a job elsewhere, and make enough bank to live comfortably in the village away from your family. You've never heard of laws in Cinderella's fairytale, but you were certain that the kingdom couldn't possibly force citizens to live with toxic family members.

𝑇̲ℎ̲𝑒̲ 𝐵̲𝑎̲𝑙̲𝑙̲

After spending a few months doing chores and odd jobs around the village (the latter for some extra cash), your family finally received news of the fated ball.

You initially didn't plan on going, but you deserved a break. You didn't bother asking for permission to go; your stepmother definitely wouldn't allow it. The main problem was summoning Fairy Godmother.

Luckily, she couldn't tell the difference between fake tears and real ones. You behaved as close to the actual Cinderella as you could recall, and POOF!

With your new attire and coach, you made your way to the most gorgeous castle your eyes have ever fell upon.

It didn't take long for the prince to notice you, but this is where you drew the line at this fairytale life. You rejected his proposal to dance, shocking the other guests. You had to resist a smirk at your step-family's reaction.

Flabbergasted, the prince left you swiftly and moved onto another fair maiden. You indulged yourself in the catering happily, but after your stomach was filled, the stares of passerby began to discomfort you. The prince was occupied with another dance, so you wasted no time leaving the palace early (much to the confusion of the knights who stood guard).

The spell broke while at home with no evidence of your night out, not even the glass slippers. When your stepfamily returned, they bragged about their time and briefly talked about you (luckily not knowing you were the one who was "stuffing their face like a pig starved."). After that day, life returned to normal.

Or at least what you thought was going to be normal.

𝘙͜𝘶͜𝘯͜𝘢͜𝘸͜𝘢͜𝘺͜ 𝘊͜𝘪͜𝘯͜𝘥͜𝘦͜𝘳͜𝘦͜𝘭͜𝘭͜𝘢͜

Beginning that night, Yan!Prince thought about you often. He never imagined a young lady would ever reject his proposal to dance, though he didn't hold it against you. It was just a shocker.

Despite that, you appeared in his mind before bed and after he woke up, while he ate and while sharpening his combat skills. Even if he told himself that that one incident was nothing more than a brief interaction with a citizen of his kingdom, he couldn't forget the color of your hair, your pretty face, and how you paid oh so much attention to the food his family prepared just for that ball.

Upon overhearing the chefs gush about their gratefulness towards their food being appreciated so much, he made up a personality for you: kind but forward, honest, valuing true intentions and love over gold and high status.

Too bad for him, gold was your highest priority. While he began going on strolls into the village in search of you under the impression of catching up with the townsfolk, you continued job-hunting and tending to the house. You even decided to cater to your stepfamily as best as possible--subtle enough so they wouldn't think you were trying to suck up to them.

Surprisingly, your relationship with them improved just a bit. But it was what you needed to get permission to work at a bakery in the village.

Once you discovered he was visiting the village often, you did your best to avoid the bakery window while working and hurry home once your shift ended.

Unfortunately, you both ran into each other just as you closed up shop. In a small panic, you inquired about him for the sake of courtesy. While you two spoke, he couldn't help but notice a striking resemblance between you and the lady who turned him down at the ball. You could tell from his facial expression he was piecing things together, so you abruptly bid farewell and ran away.

He would visit you a lot. After replying to his inquiry that you weren't the girl at the ball, he'd joke about it a lot (there was no other gal in the village like you). It didn't take long for rumors to spread amongst the kingdom that the prince had taken a fancy to you. You hated it. He didn't mind it. In fact, it no longer mattered whether you were the girl at the ball. Something about you pulled him in like a hook. Perhaps it was the determination he observed through the window. Perhaps it was the way you handled children while taking a breather outside as he ate inside. Perhaps it was destiny.

As time passed, you grew more tolerant of him. While you didn't want him to be your romantic partner, you guessed you were okay with being his friend. As time passed, he grew more frustrated you weren't his. His father took note of his unusual agitated self, but he waved it off as stress when thinking of a future bride.

"What about that lady the people are saying you like?"

"Oh, her? She has....a way with herself. It seems that she's not interested in me."

"Perhaps you both need a bit of a push."

Since then, the King made a few visits to the bakery to chat--no marriage mentioned. He wanted to see what you were like. Although you were a kind girl, he confronted Yan!Prince with the truth that he probably wouldn't have a spouse who didn't want him. It broke his heart to hear, but he wasn't ready to let go yet.

You were already preparing your escape long before the ball, but the pace of your plan sped up now that the prince was on your trail. You found out about the closest kingdom from acquaintances and saved up funds to use on your journey.

When the prince discovered you had quit your job via a disappearance, he visited your home. Your stepfamily was in shambles (literally. The place was filthy.) and shared that you had disappeared overnight with your belongings. There was no mistake in it: you had abandoned him.

Framing your escape as a possible kidnapping, he ordered guards and encouraged the rest of the kingdom to search for you. All of his efforts was on the search.

Photography didn't exist, so you were fortunate that the description he gave out about your appearance was vague. Somehow, you made it to the nearest kingdom with a plea to the guards that you made your way there in search of a better life. The Queen was kind and sponsored a place for you to stay for the first five months while you adjusted to your new life in exchange for you finding a job. It didn't take long to do so with your desperation.

In no time, you were living a much happier life in your home, with your new friends, and even someone who kept catching your eye. Talk of the nearby kingdom's drama was entertaining, even more so with the subject amongst them.

Meanwhile, the prince's mental and physical wellbeing deteriorated. Some say the search took a lot out of him. Some say he was so heartbroken, he had no will to live. Maids in the castle whispered about the prince being locked in his room from the outside because he grew violent--so out of character! Disturbed, the King confided in only those closest to him about his woes. Whatever did that woman do to infatuate his son so much! No one could approach him anymore. He ate and drank only when he needed to. His room became a mess. How did such a sorrow fall on the family of royal blood when there was so much potential for happiness to look forward to?

Anyone could guess that were was no point in a happy ending for romantic fairytale if there was no romance to begin with.

[hazz-a-bear]

A LITTLE TOO MUCH, wen junhui

♡⸝⸝ Junhui doesn't know what he's expecting when he shows up at your place on a Friday at three in the afternoon. He doesn't know what he's expecting at all but god, it definitely isn't this.

.ᐟ Fwb!Junhui x reader. Unestablished relationship. Strangers to friends sort of. Mention of pregnancy. Mention of sexual content. Mention of abortion. Mention of blood and bleeding. Mention of pills. Medical inaccuracies. Reader is able to have kids. Reader goes through a home abortion. Seungkwan is the sweetheart we all need in our lives.

AN -This is a work that I've been nervous to share because not only is it out of my usual writing style, it also deals with a pretty heavy situation. I was heavily inspired by Amerie's unplanned pregnancy and how it was handled in the Heartbreak High Season 2 and this is a shameless result of that. First of all, I need to say that this is just a work of fiction and nothing is a portrayal of the characters in real life. I wouldn't know anything about how they would act in a situation like this so please keep in mind that this is just a figment of my imagination and how I picture this as a creative piece of work. Please read this at your own risk, this might be triggering for some people so I've been mindful to put enough warnings.

★ The end and the start of the abortion part will be marked if you wish to skip over

masterlist | taglist

It's not unusual for Junhui to be in your apartment at odd hours of the day. The two of you had an agreement that quite literally required him to be there at odd hours of the day.

The unusual bit is that he's here on a Friday at three in the afternoon - way earlier than he has ever been.

Junhui tries to remember if he's ever been to your place during the day and he's only a little bit ashamed when he comes with nothing. Though it makes him feel a little bad, the two of you aren't the type of people to just hang out with each other. Hell, you were basically strangers aside from knowing each other's bodies like the back of your hands. He didn't know if he could even call the two of you friends. Junhui definitely would, he wasn't exactly sure what you would say.

Whatever proposition to fool around the two of you had been doing for the last two months has been strictly limited to nightly visits and Junhui leaving as soon as possible afterwards. So, it was more than a little out of character for him to be standing outside of your apartment when it wasn't anywhere near dark nor had you invited him solely for that purpose.

You did invite him though - just a little ominous and frantic enough to tell him that this was definitely not you wanting to hook up.

What makes it more unusual is the way you don't give him the coy smile you usually smile once you open the door. And instead of wrapping your arms around his neck, looking at him through hooded eyes and pulling him inside, you just stand.

An unsettling feeling brews in Junhui's heart as soon as he sees you dressed in what looks like a pair of pyjamas and far more disheveled than usual.

Junhui just stands mirroring you, owlishly blinking as he tries to take in your frame - clearly on the verge of tears.

You might not consider him a friend but - "Jun"

In the two months you and Junhui had been together - sort of - he has heard you say his name in different circumstances. A little laugh when you open the door to him, scolding when he brings mud tracks into the house, a gasp when he pushes you againt the wall, a long sigh of breath when he presses you into the mattress, and even laced with sleep when he finally gets up to leave. And in the two months, he has never once heard you say his name this way - raspy and wet, and so so broken like he's the only lifeline you're holding on to.

Junhui moves in an instant, stepping inside the familiar apartment and softly kicking the door shut behind him.

"Hey," He backs you up against a wall, holding you by the arms as he tries to ignore the way you're trembling under his touch. "I came as soon as I saw the text. What's wrong?"

Junhui can only worry as you wordlessly turn towards the living room without answering him. Trying not to let the lack of your usual chirp and hop in your step get into his head, he lets himself be pulled alone until you're pushing him to sit on the couch.

The restless feeling doesn't leave as he settles on the seat, watching you move to sit on the floor in front of him.

"Yn, what's wrong?" Junhui reaches forward to take one of your hands, letting his thumb circle soothingly against your skin. The touch is new, foreign almost. Despite being each other's for two months, it dawns on him that the two of you never initiate cuddling or holding hands and all the soft stuff. Well, there really wasn't a need to considering they were strictly just hookups so Junhui doesn't know why he's suddenly so bothered.

"You're scaring me, what's going on?" He tries again, a little lost as he takes your other hand and rests it on his knees.

"Um, I- well," You seem to be at a loss of words now, snapping out of whatever daze you'd been stuck in. "God, you're here. I- Fuck, didn't think this far. I just, I just wanted you here"

He watches as you sputter, shifting to sit on your knees, one hand slipping from his as you bring it up to run your fingers through your hair. The tug looks harsh, jerking your head in the process and Junhui is quick to catch your wrist again, bringing it back down with a pointed look.

"Don't do that" He quietly mutters, eyes trained on your rather crestfallen face. "Just- what's going on, yn? You were almost crying at the door"

You lean forward to rest your forehead against his knees before you take a deep breath and lean back, pretending to look like you're not about to choke as soon as you open your mouth. Junhui gives you what looks like an encouraging smile and yeah, you can do this. You just have to put it on the table and hope Junhui doesn't get up to slam the front door in your face.

"My period's late by about two week. It's never happened before" You explain quietly, looking at anything but Junhui's face. "Well, it's normal for it to be late a couple of days but, today's the fifteenth and yeah, I'm freaking out"

Junhui is silent and you hope he understands what you're trying to say because if you have to explain it to him in actual words, you might as well throw up.

"Are you saying you might be pregnant?"

Your fingers instinctively tighten around his and it's enough of an answer. But he deserves more than that so you muster up enough courage to look him in the eye without breaking into a sob.

"I'm saying I might be"

Junhui's breath hitches as you choke on your words. He shifts in his seat like he's going to lean back and for a second you're worried he's going to let go. He takes a deep breath as he leans backwards on the chair, fingers still laced with yours just as firm.

"Fuck- okay, okay" He throws his head back, resting on the back of the couch for a second. You can almost see the gears turn in his head. Figuring out when this might have happened, what led up to it, what got the two of you in this situation and god,

"I'm sorry" You know perfectly well you shouldn't apologize. Frankly, you don't have a reason to. Both of you are grown adults with consciousness enough to know what happens without protection. But you still can't help but quietly apologize for something you shouldn't be sorry for.

"What?" Jun sits up again, ears perked and eyes wide. "Did you ju- No, yn, no. Why are you saying sorry? No, that's not right"

"I know. I know" You let out frustratingly. "Fuck, I don't know why I did. I don't even know If I'm actually p-. Not yet. I'm just so- I'm scared, Jun. I'm so fucking scared"

You're surprised it took this long for the tears to fall. When it does, you try to quickly wipe them with your shoulder, ignoring the burning shame in your stomach and hiding your face from Junhui.

"Hey, yn, hey" Letting go of one of your hands, he brings them up to your cheek. Once you've turned to face him, Junhui gives you a small smile. "Before we panic, we still don't know for sure, yeah? What if it was a false alarm? What if your period is just fashionably late, hm? All these tears would have been for nothing"

You nod, biting down on your lip as you try to keep your composure.

"Don't cry, please. You're gonna make me cry too" Junhui gently wipes the skin under your eyes with his thumb and you let out a wet chuckle. "Let's take a test before we do anything else, okay? Do you want me to go and get one for you?"

When you nod, Junhui gives you another smile before he stands up, pulling you along. Expecting he's going to get to the door, you try to untangle your fingers. You're surprised when he does eventually, only to snake his arms around your shoulders and pull him to his chest.

The two of you had a strictly professional relationship, as professional as being each others ( stranger with benefits? ) might be. Holding hands was already more affectionate than anything you've done. So, hugging Junhui felt so foreign yet so comforting. It makes uou regret not hugging him before. Makes you miss a kind of warmth you've never even had. You feel his hands rubbing comforting circles on your back, his head nestled in your neck.

"I'm scared too" Junhui's voice is so quiet that you strain your ears to hear him. "Even though you can't see it, I'm properly shitting my pants right now"

Your laugh is muffled by his sweater and you're suddenly a little glad for Junhui's ever so cheery self. He's always been able to take the light of a heavy situation, you've thought.

"But, whatever happens, you have me, yn. I know we're not exactly, well, friends, per say but I'm not going to let you go through this alone"

"Because you might have knocked me up?" You ask when you're pulling away, giving him a little smile and Junhui laughs. It's a beautiful thing, head thrown back and all teeth as he does.

"Because I might have knocked you up, yes"

You're pacing in the kitchen when Junhui returns. He's been gone long enough to make you think he's run away and taken off after the whole i-know-we're-practically-strangers-but-i-might-be-pregnant-with-your-child ordeal. But before you could even get to the part of possibly carrying the child of your runaway hookup, going through this by yourself and holy fuck, there might be an child inside of me right now - there's a knock on your door again.

You open the door to Junhui standing there with not one, not two but three shopping bags. Certainly, it doesn't take up three full-sized shopping bags to put something as measly as a pregnancy test. The way you carefully eye his hands must be obviously because he's sputtering to explain himself as he steps inside.

"Sorry, I went to the pharmacy and then I saw that the grocery store was right across the street so I stopped by and got you some things"

Junhui puts down the bags on the counter before he digs into one and comes up with a much smaller bag. "I didn't know which one to get so..."

He lays three different boxes containing tests on the counter, looking at you with a sheepish smile. "The lady at the pharmacy said I should get all three. Just in case, you know?"

Since when did Junhui get so...cute.

"Thanks, Jun. What about the other stuff?"

"Oh, these" He turns towards the bags again. "I just got you some stuff, don't worry about it"

"I am worrying about it now," You say, circling the counter. "You didn't have to do all that"

"I got you some of those...sweets things that you keep in your pantry. The caramel ones? They had big packets so I got you two of those. And I also got some pasta and vegetables for dinner- which, speaking of" He stops his rambling to turn to you with an apologetic look. "I kind of invited myself to cook dinner for you, is that okay?"

The two of you are definitely crossing some lines you've never reached before today.

"You're more than welcome to, Jun" You can see his lips pull into a wider smile as he almost bounces in his place, giddy.

You carefully lean forward to grab the three boxes across the counter. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the way your stomach digs into the edge of the counter. It's probably stupid to freak out before even knowing the result like Junhui said. But you can't help the way your fingers shake as you pick up the boxes to read through the text on the back.

"Do you want to take it now?" Junhui asks softly, leaning on the counter himself.

"Yeah," You sigh, pushing yourself to your feet. "Let's get this done quickly. Come with me?"

Junhui is quick to take your outstretched hand with a firm, "Of course"

You feel your calm ( as calm as a potentially pregnant person who doesn't want to be pregnant can be ) demeanour faltering when you're inside your bathroom, taking out the tests one by one. Junhui is outside the door, pacing in the bedroom and his footsteps sound a little frantic as he waits for you.

Once you're done, you set the three sticks on the counter with your eyes squeezed shut. You try to keep yourself uptight with fingers gripping the counter. But like a ragdoll gone limp, you take a staggering step backwards and slide down the wall until you're sitting on the tile.

"Jun? Junhui?"

Your voice is weak and relatively on the edge of a sob. So it's fair that Jun immediately calls back, concern clear in every syllable. "Yn? you okay?"

"Can you come in here, please?"

The door opens very carefully and slowly, his head of blonde mess peeking around but as soon as he sees you on the floor, Junhui is quick to slip inside. "Oh, baby"

This time he doesn't hesitate to put his arms around your frame, moving to sit on the cold tile right next to you. You let yourself lean into his embrace until you're tucked into his side.

"Jun" You cry into his shoulder, clambering to lace your fingers with him. "What if it there's- there's a"

"There's a baby?" He finishes for you, quiet as if it would set off something in you as he holds you tightly. You nod into the junction of his neck and collarbone, hoping he'd be able to feel it. He does.

"Then there's a baby, sweetheart" Junhui says, gentle as he'd always been. You think you taste a little bile in your throat at what he says. "And we see what we do after that"

"I'm scared" You admit, the reality of everything finally setting in your gut in an unpleasant way. "I'm so so scared, Jun"

"Fuck, me too. Me too, yn. I'm so scared" You hear the thud when he throws his head back with a sigh, hitting it on the tile on the wall. "I'm sorry"

You smile against his neck. "You're sorry for knocking me up or being scared like a normal person would?"

Junhui heaves out something that sounds like a laugh as he looks down towards you. "Both. I'm sorry for knocking you up. Sorry for getting scared and being all over tha place. And I'm also sorry for getting you in this mess"

That's when you leave your hiding spot to look up at him, a frown etched into your eyebrows. "Jun, don't say that. You didn't get me- hey, look at me"

When he finally decides to stop staring a burning hall into the sink and catches your eyes, you can see how his eyes are mirroring yours - glazed over with tears that are yet to fall.

"First of all, don't say sorry for being scared. You're actually way calmer for a person who's about to find out if there's a baby. You're not all over the place, no you're not. You're only human, Jun"

"And, listen, we both got ourselves in this mess" You try to explain, one hand cradling his face as you peer into his eyes. "Both of us knew what we were getting ourselves into, Jun. Although we didn't exactly expect this to happen, the chances were never zero and we both knew. Nothing is your fault. It's not mine either. We were not being careful enough and that's on both of us, no?"

"You did some reflecting while I was gone, didn't you? Junhui laughs again, making you smile and tuck yourself back into his warmth. "You little ball of panic"

The laugh and the way Junhui sways you in his hold are cut off when his phone loudly rings, the three-minute timer going off outside the bathroom. he must have felt the way you go rigid in his arms.

"Do you want me to check it?"

"Yes. Yes, please" You swallow back the bile that rises up in your throat.

Before he lets go to stand up, Junhui pulls you into a hug again. You almost don't feel him press a kiss to the crown of your head, but the fleeting movement is still there.

You move to sit on your knees as he goes up to the counter. Not wanting to see him pick up the tests so carefully and let the tears that haven't dried roll down, you bring your hands up to your face. There's a beat of silence. The sound of Junhui picking one up, putting it down, picking one up, putting it down, picking one up. Silence. Putting it down.

"Positive" He's talking to the mirror. "All three of them"

Junhui holds your hair back as you heave into the toilet, throwing up what feels like your insides in whole.

Junhui is sitting next to you through the doctor's appointment on Saturday. His hand is laced with yours, his knee is pushed against yours and he's sitting next to you as the doctor comes back to the room with a small smile on her face.

"Congratulations yn, Junhui" She nods kindly to the both of you. "You're pregnant"

Junhui's hand suddenly feels a lot heavier in yours.

There really wasn't a piece of yours that was holding onto the false reality of the tests being wrong. But the sudden heaviness of the situation is loaded upon you as you hear the word from someone other than Junhui or your subconscious mind.

A nurse trails in to hand Junhui a bunch of pamphlets, everything from maternity clinics to home birth printed in tiny letters on colourful poster papers. You feel a new wave of nausea, or tears, or maybe both, hitting you at once. Oh yeah, definitely both.

"You guys can look through the options and talk about what's the next step you're taking" Your doctor speaks, words laced with a smile that makes you feel like she notices right through you. "Whatever decision you decide to take, reach out to us and we'll be there with you through the process"

She says something about giving the two of you a minute and gets up to leave the room once again, the nurse following behind closely. But before she slips out of the room, she turns back to you with such a tender look in her eyes. "Yn, Junhui, You're not alone in this"

It's like a bullet to your heart. A perfect echo of what Junhui had told you. You feel him shift in his seat as if it's just the thing he's been wanting to hear as well.

"So," He gives your hand a squeeze.

"So," You tilt your head, trying to relax yourself enough to give him a comforting smile. "You put a baby in me"

Junhui whines as he leans forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder. You laugh and try not to think about how the two of you must look like an ideal couple despite not knowing a thing about each other.

"It's not even a baby yet" Junhui keens. "It's a bunch of cells and whatnot. Like a blood clot, a blood bundle maybe"

"Don't say it like that, oh my god" You shove at him with a scowl. "That's kind of gross"

"You'd never be able to live with my roommate" Junhui says at that, shuddering for effect. "He's a nursing student and god, he has this need to describe every single detail of his internship to me like a bedtime story. Let's just say, I know some of the most grotesque things about his patients that I shouldn't be allowed to know"

"Oh god, Jun"

The room turns into a comfortable silence after that. The occasional buzz of people outside, the beep of a machine and Junhui's stool creaking bouncing off the insanely white walls.

"So, we're gonna do this, yeah?" You turn to see that Junhui is already looking at you, the soft look in his eyes and the upturned corners of his lips never disappearing from your sight.

Your hand goes to rest against his cheek before you realise what you're doing. You consider pulling it back but stops short when Junhui's smile widens ever so slightly as he leans into it. You try not to think about the boundaries that you're crossing as you swipe your thumb across the skin under his eyes.

"Yeah. We're doing this"

Junhui invites you to his place on Tuesday for dinner. You're supposed to be meeting his roommate, Seungkwan tonight. Given that he's a nursing student, much more professionally trained, he figured that Seungkwan would be able to help the two of you to some extent.

It's not the thought of meeting him that makes a shudder run through your spine. It's the first time you're going to break the news to someone. Someone other than Junhui, yourself, your doctor or the nurse at the clinic.

As much as you feel like laying down for the night, avoiding the meetup altogether, Junhui had been so excited when he brought up the idea, nearly vibrating out of his skin when you agreed to meet his best friend. You couldn't do that to him. How could you ever, ever say no to him.

"Yn, hi" Junhui quietly greets you as he opens the door. It's your first time in his place and somehow, there's something that makes it a little special. It's the first time you're getting so much as a glimpse into his life outside of you and your apartment.

"Seungkwan's in the kitchen. He wanted to cook tonight" He continues as you toe your shoes off at the entrance. Once you're done, he pulls you into a hug like second nature. "You okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, Jun" You assure him with a soft pat on his back, pulling away and giving him a smile. "Still a blood bundle, remember?"

"Oh, Hello" You turn to face who you assume is Seunkwan. Dressed in a sweater too big for him and brown hair sitting on top of his hair in a messy mop, he smiles brightly. "I'm Seungkwan, nice to meet you"

"Hi, I'm yn" Seungkwan steps forward to shake your hand, gesturing you to come inside with a smile that's almost splitting his face in half. "Thank you for having me over, Seungkwan. I hope I'm not intruding"

"Oh, what nonsense" He animatedly flails his arms around as he leads you straight to the kitchen. You can already see that Seungkwan is a people person by heart. "Junhui here is nothing but yn this, yn that these days. It's a matter of fact I met you, don't you think?"

Next to you, Junhui sputters and coughs as Seungkwan blabbers. Not taking any attention from the other, you bring a hand up to rub his back. Interesting.

Your heart warms at how Seungkwan, ever so excited to meet you, welcomes you to help him cook dinner. He tells you about his time at nursing school and his work as an intern at a nearby medical centre. Junhui contributes to the conversation by throwing in bits and pieces here and there.

Just listening to the two boys banter, words flowing in naturally between them, you can see just how close they are. Seungkwan goes into a story about Junhui's college days, Junhui goes bright red and whines at him to stop, and Seungkwan coos and pinches his cheek as you watch.

"Seungkwan, I love you but I don't need to know how big Mr. Chen's ass wart is" Seungkwan almost hits the counter as he laughs at Junhui's face morphed into frustration.

"Junnie, spare me something, won't you, bub? I talk to no one except the coffee machine and poor Mrs. Sim for two days straight sometimes" Seungkwan waves him off before turning to you. "Yn, Mrs. Sim never remembers me twice. Do you know I have to introduce myself to her every single time I go to her room?"

"This is why you need some new friends, Kwan" Junhui shoots him a pointed look. "Or you need to get laid. Maybe you're retreating back to your virgin agenda because of how long you've gone without getting some"

You let out a scandalous gasp at this, exaggerating for entertainment. "Seungkwan, that's why you're so cranky"

"I'm cranky because I work twelve-hour shifts at a hospital wiping shit out of at least twenty different asses, people. I don't have the time" He whines as the two of you snicker. "I don't need to get laid, piss off. Work is fucking me in the ass enough for the whole year, get off my back"

Dinner goes like that. Junhui, you and Seungkwan sitting around the kitchen table as they share small talk over the food. Seungkwan is the one who actively keeps the conversation going since both you and Junhui are much on the quieter side. You feel thankful for the way he obviously tries his best to make you feel at home, filling the voids by being his happy self despite the worn out look and dark circles under his eyes. You can't imagine how tired Seungkwan actually is.

It's only once you're done with the food that Junhui sends you a look when his best friend turns to get the desserts. You manage to nod weakly just as he returns loudly.

"Seungkwan," You swallow as Junhui turns to him with a voice that's far more grounded than you've heard. Seungkwan must be used to it because he doesn't spare a glance before he nods. "We have something to tell you"

When Junhui looks at you again, you give him a tight-lipped smile and hope it's encouraging enough to keep him talking. You see the light frown that etches itself onto Seungkwan's eyebrows as he looks between the two of you with clear confusion.

"There's no reason to beat around the bush, so. You know that yn and I..." Junhui sighs heavily, looking at the younger, letting the words complete themselves. "We found out that she's pregnant"

There's a silence that takes over the room. It's not uncomfortable per se. Seungkwan looks like he's letting the words settle in his brain. It takes him more than five seconds to snap back into it before he immediately reaches towards you.

"Oh, yn" You try to stop yourself from trembling as Seungkwan lays a hand between the two of you. He leaves if wutg his palm up. An invitation of comfort. You take his hand and he's quick to lace his fingers with you. "How do you feel?"

"I'm alright. Yeah, I'm okay" You nod, rather to yourself. "It was so surprising but I've processed it all now. I'm okay"

"Good" Seungkwan acknowledges with a soft smile and his thumb swiping against your skin comfortingly. He's staring at you in a way that reminds you of the doctor back at the clinic. Like he sees right through you. But before you can dwell on it further, he's pulling away to grab a washcloth that hangs from the side of the pantry.

"And, you. You, child" Junhui shrieks as Seungkwan flings the cloth at him, repeatedly hitting him square in the face. "How many times have I told you to be careful? To use protection? Do you know how many times, Wen Junhui? All the condoms I stuck in your bag hoping you'd be responsible enough to use them"

Junhui manages to get away from him and runs straight to stand behind you, fingers gripping your shoulder as he uses you to shield himself from Seungkwan and his dirty washcloth attack.

"I swear, yn. This isn't how I raised him, I'm so sorry. I can't believe he'd be so reckless" Seungkwan speaks to you before he looks at Junhui with singlehandrdly yhe firties look you've ever seen. "Do you know how many condoms I stole from the condom vending machime at the clinic? For you, Wen Junhui. All this effort and you turn out to be an irresponsible adult"

"Stop" Junhui whines, holding to you. "Stop hitting me"

"You should scold me just as much, Seungkwan" You chuckle, hands coming up to rest on top of Junhui's. "We were both irresponsible adults"

"In that case" Seungkwan swats you with the cloth way lighter than he had to Junhui before he goes to sit down again, seemingly done with his stressed single mother tantrum.

You half expect Junhui to let go and move to his own seat after everything settles down. But a part of you, part you're wishing to not unpack right now, secretly hopes he would stay right there behind you. Solely because their apartment is cold and the body heat radiating off of Junhui is comforting. That's all. Nothing else.

As if he's read your words, Junhui shifts until his arms are thrown around your shoulders to pull you back against his front, hands clasping over your collar bones. You try not to do something like blush violently while Seungkwam is staring from the other side of the table like he's watching a drama.

"Well, as surprised and disappointed as I am, I'm glad you guys told me" Seungkwan's voice is relatively softer than it had been before. "Have you guys decided what you're going to do?"

Junhui shifts and you look up to see him already staring down at you with a tender smile. You mirror it and wrap your fingers around his arm as you face Seungkwan again.

"Yeah," You're not alone in this. "Yeah we have"

"Can I hug you?" Seungkwan asks when you're stepping out of their place that night, ready to go home.

Seungkwan's hugs feel like you're being smothered by a bear. A very soft and a very fluffy one. He's shorter than Junhui and he doesn't have to bend down to your height to hug you. You can see Junhui leaning against the doorway, watching the two of you with a glint in his eyes like he's close to tears.

"Yn," Seungkwan whispers in your ear, still holding you tight as if you're going to crumble if he doesn't. "Thank you for telling me, bub. I know we only just met and it means a lot to me that you trusted me with this. Junnie means the world to me and now you. I'm going to help you as much as I can, yn. You're not alone in this"

An exact mirror of something you've heard before.

Seungkwan holds you even tighter when you cry on his shoulder. It should be weird considering the two of you didn't know each other's last names till literal hours ago. But Junhui comes to stand behind you, rubs a comforting hand down your back and gives Seungkwan's arm a squeeze and everything is okay. For the first time, you're able to feel your heart settle into a kind of peace that makes you think,

Yeah, you can do this. You're not alone in any kind of way.

You take the first pill on Friday and Junhui holds your hand through it. You try not to choke around it as he brings you into a hug.

"You're okay" He whispers into your hair. "I'm right here"

★ warning

"I'm here, I'm here" Seungkwan chirps as he steps into the house. You can hear the sound of the door closing and then he's quickly shuffling to the living room where you're laying on Junhui's lap. Seungkwan is quick to drop his bags to crouch down in front of you. "Hi, honey. Hi, how are you feeling?"

"Like a fucking bomb exploded in my gut, Seungkwan, I can't do this" You cry through the cramps that are currently shooting through your body.

"That's exactly how it should feel, you're doing great, yn" Seungkwan assures. "Hi, Junnie, how are you feeling?"

"I'm going to cry" Junhui's fingers are trembling where he's running them through your hair. His other is laced with yours over your hip. You're pretty sure he's dislocated something by how hard you're gripping him but Junhui is yet to complain.

"Valid but I'm gonna hit you over the head if you cry right now" Seungkwan mutters but from the corner of your eye, you can see him squeezing Junhui's knee with enough comfort to keep his tears at bay. "Did you take the second pill, yn? Did you guys call the clinic?"

"We did, as soon as the cramps started. The nurse said she should take the second one" Junhui explains as you squirm in his lap. His hands threading through your hair offer a sense of comfort to some extent but right now it's nothing near enough as you feel like your entire body is about to explode into a mass of tissues and intestines. "She took painkillers thirty minutes before taking the misoprostol too"

"Good, great job yn. You too Jun" You're not exactly sure why he's cheering on you when all you've been doing for the past couple of hours is lying on Junhui's lap crying. It's still sweet that Seungkwan is human enough to validate not only yours but everything Junhui's been doing to be there for you "How long has it been?"

"A few hours. Three at tops"

"Okay then, she might start bleeding soon so let's move to the bathroom, yeah" Seungkwan peers into your eye with a soft smile. "Yn, ready to get this over with?"

"I am so fucking ready, god" You groan into Junhui's thigh as the two boys share a fond smile over you.

Junhui manages to get you settled in the bathtub carefully and you shiver at how cold the water is.

Seungkwan doesn't linger inside as much, quickly giving instructions to a Junhui who looks a little like he's going to collapse any second now. Though you trust Seungkwan, both as Junhui's friend and a professional, enough to let him be there through the process, you can't help but selfishly feel settled when you know Junhui is the only one who'd be able to see you at a moment like this. You fondly guess Junhui must be feeling the same if the way he subtly shields you from Seungkwan and doesn't let go of your hand says something. So the two of you settle in the confinement of the bathroom as Seungkwan slips outside with a promise to make some food while he keeps an ear out for you.

"I'm never having sex again" You whine, leaning against the tub.

"Without a condom you mean?" Junhui chuckles as he puts down the toilet seat to sit on top of it, hand still warm around yours from where it sits on the edge of the tub entangled.

"No, Jun. I said what I said"

"Oh no" Junhui throws his head back to exaggerate a whine at that, making you shake your head. "Suddenly my day is ruined. Why would you do this to me?"

The water sloshes around as you shift in your place, trying to get comfortable even as the edge digs into your back and the tile is cold against your skin. Junhui gives you a smile when you make eye contact.

Junhui's smile is so beautiful.

It's not like you're coming to the revelation now, you'd always had a soft spot for his smile. It was what you noticed first about him - a private thing where his whole face would light up and the corners of his mouth curl in an adorable way.

"You look pretty, Jun" You're saying before you can even stop what's coming out of your mouth. You have a front-row seat to see Junhui's face flush immediately as he tries not to sputter.

"I'm sitting on a toilet on the verge of a breakdown" He points out but there's a blush dusted on his ears.

"And you're pretty" It sounds more confident, way more concrete than the first one. "You always look pretty. Take the compliment"

Junhui smiles and takes the compliment with a flaring fluster.

As much as you would have liked to keep talking ( that was NOT flirting ) with him, a searing pain suddenly crashes through your body.

"O-oh my god" Your voice breaks on a gasp as you instinctively curl up on yourself. Your fingers tighten around Junhui's as you clamp down as hard as you can, trying not to scream at the pain that shoots through your body.

"Jun- Jun, oh my god" You can't help when the tears fall, more out of the sheer pain. From the corner of your eyes, you can see Junhui's face morphing into something of pure terror. He quickly moves to sit down on the tile next to the tub, holding onto your hand while he brings the other to lay flat against your back.

"I'm here, yn, I'm here" He's muttering like a mantra, hand running back and forth along your damp skin. "Breath through it, baby. Breath with me"

You let out a scream, not being able to handle the amount of pain coursing through your abdomen. Your hand is gripping Junhui's with such force that you can feel him stiffing up but he doesn't move away from his spot. Junhui sits on his knees to practically hug you while you're still in the water and you can blindly feel the way he's shaking as well.

"Jun," You sob, clinging to him a little tighter as if it's even possible. "It hurts. Hurts s-so much"

"I'm sorry, angel. I'm so sorry" He whispers into your skin. "You can do this, yeah? You have me, you can push through, baby. I'm sorry"

Junhui doesn't let go no matter how hard you scream, pressing his lips to your temple and muttering 'good job, yn' after each and every cramp that overtakes your body.

The sound of your sobs and the water echoes through the bathroom for what feels like an eternity. Seungkwan opens the door at some point, sitting by the entrance close enough to keep an eye out yet far enough to give you the privacy you need.

The water has gone cold when you slump against the edge of the tub at last, your body trembling with just how much energy it had taken out of you. Junhui still doesn't let you go, his arms around you and keeping you as close as possible. That's when you notice he's sobbing into your hair.

"Junnie" Your voice is weak but it's enough to make Junhui snap.

"Do you need something? Do you wanna get out right now?" He's immediately scrambling through his tears, alert. "Water, you need water right? Do you want me to get you a pad and clothes too?"

"Jun" You let him go on his ramble before bringing a hand up to his face. He should be grossed out by the way his skin gets damp by the water but instead, he leans into it like a cat. "Don't cry, I'll cry harder"

Junhui laughs and he's so beautiful. Even as he's crying through it.

You give him a frail smile as he leans forward to press his lips to your forehead before moving to your temple. You lean towards it when he keeps his lips there, skin against skin more intimate than anything the two of you had done before.

"You did it" He whispers into your skin. "Good job, my love. Good fucking job"

★ you made it

Seungkwan leaves with a good amount of advice and a kiss on your cheek. Junhui offers to show him to the door before he locks up, trudging back to the bedroom where you're now all clean and tucked under the covers.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, is that okay?" He asks, coming to your side and crouching down. He softly runs his palm against your hair and you feel your eyes flutter, completely spent.

"Junnie, no. It's a mess-"

"I'll clean it up" He's quick. "Don't worry about it, okay? You need lots of rest. Seungkwan will kill me if he finds out I even let you speak more than three words"

"Jun-"

"Nope, I'm doing it"

Your protests follow as Junhui skips - yes, skips - the the bathroom. He sends you a wink as he closes the door and you wry out a laugh, shaking your head. You spend the next twenty minutes trying not to move in your place as you listen to the sound of Junhui singing to himself and scrubbing the bathroom floors.

A little smile makes its way to your lips as you let your mind wander over to him. The beautifully crafted creature that is Wen Junhui.

Even as he finally leaves the bathroom dressed in fresh clothes and tentatively joins you under the covers, you can't stop thinking about him. He's right there, threading his fingers through your hair as he tries to lull you into sleep.

Junhui has been nothing but supportive this entire time - from buying your favourite sweets to cleaning out blood clots from the tub - he's been everything. Since you found out about the pregnancy a week ago, Junhui has never once questioned your decisions, simply following your guide.

( "Aren't you upset at me?" You had asked on Wednesday, worn out and vulnerable.

"I would never be upset at you for choosing yourself" came his firm reply. )

"How do you feel?" Junhui's voice is soft as he fiddles with your hair.

"Not exactly better. But I feel lighter. You know what I mean"

"I do" Junhui's so close that you can feel his breath hitting your forehead. If you just turn and take him by the neck —

"You're so strong, you know?" He keeps talking quietly, putting a halt to your thoughts. "I can't imagine how that felt. I can't imagine how you're feeling now. I don't know how anyone goes through something like that without breaking. Everyone is so strong"

His words sound slurred like he's slipping into a sleep and fuck,

You and Junhui might be strangers with two months of history. But something has obviously changed the moment he walked up to your door last Friday at three in the afternoon. If the nicknames, the hand holding and the kisses were anything to go by - you would call it making progress.

And god forbid if you don't do anything about the way a fire burns in your heart, smoke rising in your inside until everything in your heart, and lungs is Junhui, Junhui, Junhui.

"I couldn't have done it without you" Taking the bullet, you turn to him. Junhui's eyes flutter when he realizes just how close you are. "Thank you for everything, Jun. If it wasn't for you- and Seungkwan. I don't think I would've been able to get through that alone. Thank you"

"You have nothing to thank me for" He's a little awake now, voice following with little puffs of air against your skin. "I'll never have let you do this by yourself"

"You like me that much?" You ask coyly, fingers reaching to play with his t-shirt.

"I do" Junhui goes a little silent before he speaks again, still quiet as if there's someone else in the room with you. "I like you a little too much actually"

"Yeah?" You try to pretend as if your heart isn't clawing at your chest but there's a shake to your voice that tells you it's not working. "Well, good. Cause I like you a little too much too"

Junhui keeps his eyes on your face as if he's searching for something. Maybe to see if he can decipher how much you mean the words. Luck for him, you mean it with every bone and muscle and cell in your body. He must have found what he's looking for because he brings his hand to cradle your face. Ever so softly, he traces his fingertips from your forehead to your cheek.

"We should sleep"

"We should"

When Junhui leans in to press his lips to yours, it's more intimate than any kiss you've ever shared before. He holds you by the neck as he deepens it, simple feeling the intensity of it running through both of you like electricity. Your hand twists the front of his t-shirt as he keeps his lips against yours. Not pushing, just resting in comforting silence.

When he finally pulls away, his lips are pulled up into a shy smile. You return your own just as he leans in to press another kiss to your forehead.

"It took me one week" He whispers and you give him a questioning look. "To like you a little too much"

You smile and pat his cheek before he pulls you into his side to drift off to sleep. Cradled against him, hand resting over his heart, you let yourself enjoy the comfort that Junhui never fails to give you.

I might have taken Junhui one week to like you a little too much. But that same week was enough for you to do much more than that.

To fall in love a little too much.

thank you.

[hurts2think]

If you can do yandere, can you do a yandere headcanon with Uliana x fem reader?

🐚Uliana x Reader Possessive Headcanons🐚

Reader pronouns: She/her

Pairing: Uliana x Fem!reader

Plot: Headcanons of you and Uliana dating but she's a little possessive.

Extra: I do NOT support this type of relationship. This is just pure fiction and fantasy, never treat your partners poorly in real life. I'm not really into this kind of stuff so I struggled a little but I really love Uliana so much and this is the only request I've ever gotten for her so I tried my best !! I hope you guys like this 🫶

- Uliana became intrigued by you very early on but she wasn't exactly sure why so you became a target of her bullying in teasing.

- But you didn't take her bullying so easily. You stood up to her and wouldn't let her pick on you.

- This only made her more intrigued and frustrated/conflicted with her own feelings

- She became a little obsessed with trying to knock you down a peg so you'd find her around you pretty much all the time.

- She would pick on you but at the same time would threaten anyone who got a little too close to you

- You never really hated Uliana. It wasn't like anything she did or said genuinely hurt you.

- Plus you enjoyed pissing her off

- It took her about three months to actually suggest anything romantic between the two of you

- She really was ready to do whatever it takes to get you to date her. But she was very surprised when you were open to it

- Once you started dating she had no idea how to show any of her affection—especially with words.

- You two do end up arguing quite a bit

- She doesn't really like any of your friends and often encourages you to drop them.

- Really she doesn't like anyone that talks to you.

- She's very scared that you'll find someone else and leave her. That's why she's suspicious of all of your friends

- She grabs you a lot with her tentacles. She'll grab you by the arm, waist, anything to stop you from turning your back on her when angry.

- She'll grab you by the waist with her tentacles whenever to drag you around.

- Obviously she's very protective of you. If anyone is flirting with you she'll come up beside you and kiss you, making sure they know you're taken.

- You won't know why, but anyone that flirts with you will be too scared to even look at you the next day

- She loves putting lipstick on and then kissing you all over, leaving lipstick traces on your skin. It’s like a reminder for her that you’re hers.

- She really doesn't care if you dress more masc or fem, but she loves seeing you in pretty dresses and skirts

- She won’t say it but she loves if you also get protective of her

- She never brings you to the black lagoon of hangouts with the other VKs.

- She doesn’t want you influenced by them because she loves you how you are and would probably die of guilt if you became more villainous

- She’s also scared of you liking the other VKs more than her.

- When talking to other people she pretty much only refers to you as "My girlfriend" rather than your name.

- When talking to you she says "My princess."

- If she's mad usually she uses your real name

- She never tries to physically hurt you but sometimes her affection is a unknowingly aggressive.

- She acts annoyed with your lovey-dovey stuff but actually adores it so much

- Insists that you two have to be around each other all of the time.

- If you even work on a school project with someone else she gets upset and will make sure to glare at that person for the rest of the year

- It’s one thing if someone flirts with you, but if someone hurts you? They’re probably not going to be seen on school premises again.

- She tried to make you sell your soul to her so that you couldn’t ever leave but of course you refused… she was not happy.

- You probably told her that you needed to take a break from the relationship but she took that as you wanted to break up.

- She lashed out and yelled about it to the other VKs

- She was pretty determined to have your soul now, but the other VKs somehow managed to calm her down and reassure her you were only taking a break

- After a week or when you were ready to be with her again she was overjoyed (though she hardly showed it)

- The two weeks you guys were on break were absolutely miserable for her.

- She pretty much watched you from afar the whole time to make sure you weren’t up to anything

- Plus she still wanted to keep an eye on you since she wasn’t around to protect you

- She eventually starts to learn how to keep a healthy consistent relationship. It takes awhile but she really does try her best and things eventually start to work out better.

[indecisive-capricorn]

Yandere Draco Malfoy x Reader Headcanons: Trapped

WARNINGS: Yandere, obsessive behaviour, toxic behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, threats, mature and language.

SUMMARY: You despised Draco Malfoy more than anyone, but the same couldn't be said about his feelings towards you. But how will he handle these feelings as they slowly grow darker as the years go by?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! So, i just want to remind you that these types of behaviour in real life are pretty bad both mentally and sometimes physically, and i don't encourage these behaviours to happen in real life. This is only a work of fiction but if you have experience this or are currently experiencing it, please reach out and contact those who are able to help you. Stay safe and enjoy reading! A bit of a short headcanon after a long time, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. :)

MASTERLIST: Feel free to check out my other works! :)

When Draco first met you in the first year of Hogwarts, he developed a crush on you and after watching you from a distance, his crush on you deepens. However, he made never made a move that could give you a sign of his romantic feelings for you. Instead, he became one of your worst bullies at Hogwarts. He often teased and insulted you, but never did anything physical.

His yandere side didn't show until both of your sixth year in Hogwarts. He turned into a completely different person, more cautious and anxious, though he does a good job at hiding the latter emotion. Draco became bitter but more reserved and he spent most of his time on his studies and other things rather than bullying the first and second years like he usually did in the previous years.

At first, Draco kept a distance from you. He always avoided you, even during class, though he managed to sneak a glance or two at you when no one was looking. Draco couldn't leave you entirely no matter how hard he tries. However, it changed when another one of your bullies, Vincent Crabbe, began to torment you by practicing curses on you and Draco was there to see it.

Draco saw red and in the middle of the practice, before Crabbe could comprehend it, he fell unconscious and began to bleed. When Crabbe fell unconscious, Draco was left to face his bleeding and bruised darling on the floor looking at him like he was a monster. Draco immediately casted a sleeping charm on you and darkness surrounded you.

When you woke up again, you were in a peculiar and dark room. It didn't look to be your dormitary or any other houses's dormitary. There was tea and soup prepared for you nearby where you were sleeping. And although your entire body still felt sore from the curses, you felt much better. Several of your cuts were covered in bandages and your bruises were treated with what seems to be ointments.

You tried to get up and look around the room but noticed that you were chained to the bed. The chains was only long enough for you to reach the tea and soup, but it didn't let you go any further. You tried to move the bed but you failed and suspected that a spell was casted to ensure that it wouldn't move.

A few hours after, you heard something open and saw a blonde figure emerge from the shadows of the dark room. Your attention was immediately onto your old bully and you demanded for him to let you go. But Draco refused to, saying it was for your own good and you're in danger.

Draco used a spell to fabricate a letter filled with your handwritings to give to the teachers and the headmaster for your temporary leave of absence from your classes to visit your dying grandmother. You weren't entirely sure how he had managed to pull it off, but the whole school bought it and no one was left wondering where you are.

You were pleading for him to let you go but he was adamant to keep you there— wherever you are anyways, because you don't even recognize your surroundings.

He insisted that he was keeping you safe, looking almost like a desperate mad man, which might be what he was. He became a death eater and knew the risks and consequences outside of Hogwarts and even inside too. He's more than certain that he's the only one who could protect you from it all.

He lets you be free from your cuffs every once in a while, but he was smart enough to not let you be without them for too long. His mind might be completely filled with thoughts that you needs his protection but he still understands the nature of living beings and the want for freedom. That's why, he's careful with the amount of time when you're with and without cuffs.

He's very protective of you no matter what your blood status is, but if you're a muggleborn? His paranoia is over the roof and he's always sure that someone is following him or watching him whenever you're around. It doesn't mean he'll stop visiting you though, it just means less time for you to be free of your cuffs.

You'll be staying in the room he has chosen for you for the remainder of his school years in order to be close to you and he won't be going back home during the holidays because he doesn't want to spend time away from you. He already has to be away from you because of his classes, why does he have to for the holidays too?

He won't be trusting anyone with you. That's also the reason why he's barely letting you out of his sight during his free time. Even eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with you.

Don't be mistaken though, even when you're locked up, he's making sure to take care of you well. He brings you everything that you ask him for and all your favourite foods and many expensive clothes and jewelleries. You look like a pretty little wife/husband for him and the prospect of you marrying Draco excites him.

You're the only thing he looks forward to all day. He knows he has changed during his sixth year and he is not like his old self but you bring side the happiness he didn't know he still have inside of him and he's willing to do everything and anything to make sure the little joy inside him is always there, even if it means locking you up for the rest of your life.

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[bbrissonn]

𝐯𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 - 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

in which your relationship with quinn was never what you though it was, secrets being keep, one of those being you

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, this does NOT reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn't how i imagine them acting

warnings: angst, swearing, asshole quinn, not proofread

pairing: quinn hughes x gn!reader (im pretty sure)

wc: 4.5k (including lyrics)

a/n: the ending is kinda shit because i really wanted to post this before the rest of the album came out sooo yeah

GUTS series

Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you’re doing now

How’s the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted

Look at you, cool guy, you got it

I see the parties and diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise

I love you truly

You gotta laugh at the stupidity

If someone would’ve asked you how to describe yourself a year ago, the words confident, independent and strong would’ve been some you used, but using them now if someone would ask you the same question wouldn't be right. You were no longer that person, the one who always had a smile on her face, one who was always kind and considerate of other’s in the room. No, that you was dead, and it was all his fault. 

When you had met Quinn almost a year ago now, he was the sweetest boy you had ever meet, his personality almost the same as yours. So it was no surprise to you that the two of you ended up hanging out as friends multiple before eventually asked you out on a date. You hesitated at first, scared to ruin your friendship, but the hockey boy was everything you dreamed of in a man, and you knew denying him would be a mistake, so you agreed. 

The two of you then started dating in January, and everything between the two of you was amazing. Sure, you guys didn’t see each other as often as you’d like, with him having practices in the morning and you working until late at night, mainly around the time his games would start. But you made it work, you saw each other at least twice a week, and when time wasn’t in your favour, facetimes were your go-to night time activities. 

But all that changed when summer started approaching, Quinn had let you know months in advance that he’s be heading home for pretty much the whole summer, excited to spend time with his family. Of course, he invited you, but you had the decline the offer, your job would never allow you to take the whole summer off. Thankfully though, you were able to switch your two weeks vacation you had taken in September, and move them to the begin of July.

When you informed your boyfriend you’d be able to join in a month after he left, a weird look creeped up on his face, making your brows furr. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked him, your head looking away from the TV and over to him. 

“Nothing. It’s just… we’re already a full house. You said you couldn’t come so Jack invited another friend. There’s no more bedroom.” 

“Oh, well, I though we’d just share, you know, I mean we already do.” You explained confused, it seemed pretty obvious to you that you’d be sleeping in the same bed. He was your boyfriend after all, why wouldn’t you sleep in the same bed?

“Right.” His answer was short and quick before his attention was back on the TV. “You’d have to meet my parents, and all my brothers and their friends. It’s a lot of people.” He said, almost as if he was trying to discourage you to go. You shrugged it off, thinking nothing too much of it. Quinn was a shy person, you told yourself he was probably just nervous for his two lives to meet together. 

“That’s okay, I’ll be fine.” You assured him. You didn’t worry much about meeting his brothers and their friends, especially considering the fact that you were the same age as Jack and his friends. You hoped that being the same age as them would make the whole meeting easier, something you had mentioned to your boyfriend everytime he’d talk about you having to meet his brothers, but each time, your statement never seemed to make him change his mind, always acting weird whenever you’d bring it up. 

When the older boy didn’t answer you, you grew anxious. Did he not want you to meet them? Was he too ashamed to bring you home with him? Doubt and self conscious thoughts being to fill your head and you couldn’t help but ask him about it. 

“Do you not want me to come?” You questioned him, your voice shaky and low as your eyes focused on your lap, while his shifted over to your figure. As seconds ticked by, regret overcame you, maybe you should’ve just dropped the subject instead of asking questions. 

“Of course I want you to come.” He lied, he couldn’t tell you the truth, you’d leave him if he did, and that was the last thing he needed. Well, it wasn’t a full lie, Quinn wanted you there, but not as his girlfriend, only had his friend. 

“Then why do you act so weirdly every time we talk about me meeting your family?” You pushed, you were desprated for an answer, you needed to know. 

“‘M not.” 

“But you are, Quinn! You always try and find reasons for me not to meet them. Are you ashamed of me?” You continued. The boy could feel the anger rising in him, he hadn’t signed up for this. An argument was not what he wanted when he walked into your apartment earlier that night, no he expected a silent movie night and sex, that’s the only reason he had even agreed to come over in the first place. 

“God, Y/N, you’re so delusion.” Quinn groaned, pushing himself off the couch, walking towards the front door of the apartment. You were quick on his trail, walking only feets behind him. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Home.” He mumbled, slipping his shoes on, only to find you standing in front of your door with your arms crossed over your chest. 

“No.” 

“Y/N, move.” 

“No. Answer my question, Quinn.” You told him, your voice stern. The boy only rolled his eyes before gently pushing you the side and leaving you all alone in your apartment. This was not how either of you planned this night to go. 

Looking back at it now, that night was the first sign that things were going sour in your newly formed relationship. You knew it at the time, but you refused to acknowledge it, your feelings for the boy overshadowing the red flags being waved in front of you. 

The second sign was not even a week later, the Canucks winning a big game in overtime, and obviously they all wanted to go celebrate with each other and their significant others. Of course, that meant you were invited, you always were. So to say you were confused when Quinn didn’t open the driver door of your car like he always did when you arrived at the bar was an understatement. 

“Get back in the car, Y/N.” He told you as he walked towards the entrance of the bar, only to stop when you yelled out his name. 

“What’s going on with you?” 

“Go home, I’ll find a ride home.” He said hrashly before walking in and joining his teammates at a booth, while you stayed in the freezing cold outside for a solid five minutes, confused as to what had just happened. 

The two of you hadn’t exactly cleared the air after your little argument at your place the previous week, so you just convinced yourself that he was probably still a little angry and just wanted a night alone. But deep down you knew that wasn’t the case, he had called you the next morning acting like nothing happened, and he had been acting that way ever since. 

You should’ve called it quits after that night, go back to his place and pack all your things before going home and packing all of his. But you didn’t, instead you waited until the next morning when he’d called you and act like it didn’t happen, that became his go-to thing after that, acting like you two had no problems. 

The third sign hit you like a truck. The season had ended a little while ago, the Canucks missing the playoffs, meaning Quinn was going to head home soon. He didn’t tell you when, you guess he’d probably stay a month, enjoy some time together before he left for the month and you’d join him in July. 

Only when it was almost one in the afternoon and you still hadn’t heard anything from him, you started getting worried. You went to his place after work, only to find his apartment empty, barely anything left in it. You called him, five times, three voicemails, not answer. Part of you started freaking out a little, deciding to call Pettey to see if he knew anything. You wished more than anything you hadn’t. 

The foreward informed you that the boy had left for New Jersey early in the morning, confused as to why you had asked him. You didn’t answer him, instead hanging up and trying to call Quinn once again, only to be met with the sound of his voicemail. 

It wasn’t until the next morning that your boyfriend answered you, telling you he was staying with his brothers to cheer them on during their playoff run and that he’d be heading to Michigan right after. You had never cried over a boy so much before, having to call in sick to work because of how unwell you felt. He left, no warning, no note, nothing, he just left. Little did you know, the next time you’d see him would end up becoming the worst day of your life. 

‘Cause I’ve made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should’ve known it was strange

You only come out at night

I used to think I was smart

But you made me look so naive

The way you sold me for parts

As you sunk your teeth into me, oh

Bloodsucker, fame fucker

Bleedin’ me dry like a goddamn vampire

A wide smile was plastered on your face as your taxi pulled up in the driveway of Quinn and Jack’s shared summer house, the July sun hitting your skin as you stepped out. After getting all your bags out of the car and paying the driver, you made your way to the front door, choosing to knock on it instead of just barging in. 

The door opened a couple of seconds later, the loud noise of music playing through the house as boy who looked your age opened the door, a confused look on his face. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Is Quinn here?” Your question made a slight chuckle come from the boy, making you a little confused. An awkward smile formed on your face as you realized maybe you had the wrong house. 

“You’re not his type, sweetheart.” The boy chuckle as he leaned against the door frame, making your brows furr. Not his type? What was this guy talking about. 

“Not his type?” 

“Yeah, he’s usually more of a skinny blond guy, at least the one last night was.” The boy explained, making your heart drop. 

“Last night?” You mumbled, hoping that he wasn’t talking about Quinn sleeping with someone else, someone who wasn’t you, who didn’t even look like you. 

“Look, I don’t how you get this address and all, but please leave.” He said before trying to close the door, only you pushed it, keeping it open. 

“I am his girlfriend.” You told him, holding up your phone in his face. Your lock screen being a photo of the two of you in bed, the side of his face pressed against yours as wide smile were present on both your faces. The smirk that was once on the boy’s face dropped, before looking back into the house. 

“I’ll got get him.” He mumbled before closing the door. A minute later, the door opened again, Quinn standing in front of you as a couple of guys were standing behind him, all of them looking at you. Just as the boy from before was about to say something, Quinn stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked, his tone harsh and mean as tears started to form in your eyes. 

“Did you sleep with another girl last night?” You asked him, your voice small and shaky as your eyes stared into his. 

“Go home, Y/N.” 

“Did you?” You asked again, your voice a little louder this time, frustration building up in you as he avoided your question. 

“You’re not supposed to be here.” He said, his tone the same as before. 

“You invited me here, Quinn, you said you wanted me to be here!” 

“Well, I don’t anymore! I don’t want you here, Y/N, so go the fuck home!” He yelled, making your jaw drop slightly at his words. 

“You don’t want me here?” You asked after almost a minute of silence, your voice back to being small and shaky. Meanwhile, Quinn was staring at you with anger, rage almost. 

“Yeah. I don’t why in you’re right mind you’d still show up here when I’ve haven’t mentioned you coming here at all in a long fucking time.” He responded, his words slowly cutting your heart in half. He didn’t want you here, he didn’t want you. 

“Oh.” Was all you could say, you’re eyes now staring at the ground beneath you as tears slowly started falling from your eyes. 

“Go home, and leave me the fuck alone, Y//N.” He finished, his tone not changing. Before you even had time to say anything he had disappeared back inside the house, leaving you all alone again. 

You were sat on the steps of the front proch, waiting for a taxi to come pick you and bring you back to the airport. Where were you gonna go? You had no clue. All you knew was that you had the next two weeks off and you weren’t about to spend them in Vancouver. 

Suddenly, the boy who opened the door was sitting next to you, a small awkward smile on his face as you wiped as many tears away as you could. 

“I’m Alex.” The boy said softly, making you look over at him, trying your hardest to smile at him. 

“Y/N.” 

“‘M sorry, about before, what I said.” 

“You got nothing to be sorry about. But, the blond girl you were talking about…” You trailed off, the though of saying the words out loud making you go quiet. 

“He slept with her. She wasn’t the only one this summer.” He told you, making your heart break a little more the more he talked. In all honesty, you didn’t even know who the boy next to you was, Quinn had never mentioned an Alex, but then again you knew they probably had a weird nickname for him like they do for everyone else. The only thing you knew was that he was Jack’s friend, knowing none of Quinn’s friend were here yet. Yet this stranger you’ve known for a couple of minutes has been more open and honest about your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend you weren’t sure at this point, had been during your whole relationship. 

“Save me the pain of knowing how many, would you?” You asked, more tears falling from your eyes. But they weren’t falling because of Quinn, no, tears were rolling down your cheeks because of yourself. How stupid you felt for no noticing how weird he had been acting, well more for just ignoring it, how you should’ve ran away from the moment he was avoiding the subject of you meeting his family and friends. You should’ve ran the moment a girl requested to dm you, warning you about Quinn’s playboy past when she saw the two of you at a bar. You should’ve ran and never look back multiple times, but you never did, your love for the boy too strong for your head to do what was right. You let your heart and emotions control your life, and it’s came back to bit you in the ass. 

“So, I am guessing you don’t wanna know that he never told us he had a girlfriend?” He knew he shouldn’t, your heart was already broken enough, but he needed too. You had travelled all the way from Vancouver for Quinn, only for your relationship to fall apart because of him. He needed you to know the truth. 

“Should I even be surprised at this point? He’s always avoided talking about me meeting any of you.” You scoffed, at the same moment, a taxi pulled up into the driveway. Thankfully, it wasn’t the same one as before, saving you the embarrassment of leaving the taxi the happiness women on earth, only to go back in the most heartbroken one. Alex helped you load your bag in the trunk of the car, silence sitting over the two of you. 

“Take care of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over that idiot.” 

“I will.”

And every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called ‘em crazy too

You’re so convincing

How do you lie without flinching?

(How do you lie? How do you lie? How do you lie?)

Oh, what mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill

Can’t figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will

Went for me and not her

‘Cause girls your age know better

You had decided to spend your two weeks off of work visiting your best friend in Calgary, being with her seemed like the only way Quinn wouldn’t be on your mind 24/7, and you were right. During your time there, you barely thought of the boy, your best friend being a light in your dark world, making you forget all your issues. 

Of course, that all changed the second your plane landed in Vancouver, all your memories of coming here to see Quinn after a road trip coming back to you. And it only got worst once you got to your apartment, one of Quinn’s hoodie before thing you saw when you walked in, tears immediately forming in your eyes. You couldn’t, you had already cried way too many tears over him during your relationship, you couldn’t let yourself cry some more now that he was gone. 

He made clear the state of your relationship when he sent you a simple two word text. We’re done. That was it. No sorries, or any signs that he felt bad, just we’re done. Luckily, you were already in Calgary when he texted you, meaning your best friend was there to make you feel better. But she wasn’t when he came by unannounced to pick up his things. 

It had been two months since your relationship ended, and you were doing horribly. Everything reminded you of him, and of how stupid you were for sticking around, every where you went, he was there, not physically, but in your memories. You had just came back from work when he arrived, knocking loudly on your door scaring you a little. 

When you opened the door, he just walked in, didn’t even look at you or say hi, instead heading straight for your room. He looked the same that he did in July, only his hair was a little longer now. When you joined him in your bedroom, half of his bag was already full, your drawers all opened with your clothes everywhere. 

“Are you at least gonna clean up the mess you’re making in my room?” You asked him, your voice full of anger. There was no way you were gonna let him barge in here with no warnings, then make a mess in your room, not say a single word to you, and then just leave, and if he thought so, he was dead wrong. 

“I am talking to you, Quintin!” You said louder this time, walking towards him and grabbing his bag just as he was about to put some sweatpants in it. His head flew up, giving you a death glare before finally speaking to you. 

“Give it.” 

“No.” 

“Y/N, give me my fucking bag.” He mumbled harshly, reaching out for it only for you to step back. You had the upper hand now, or at least you thought so. 

“You want your bag back? Then clean the fucking mess you made in my room, in which you came in without asking permission.” You said firmly, only making the boy scoff, his glare still present. 

“You’re fucking crazy.” 

“I could call the cops on you right now.” 

“Really? You’d call the cops on me?” 

“Yeah. Clean up, or it’s the cops you’re gonna have the deal with.” 

“You’re seriously fucking insane, Y/N.” Quinn mumbled before ripping his half packed bag out of your hands and storming out of your apartment, leaving you all alone again. Tears of anger started rolling down your face, part of you wanting to chase after him and yell, while the other wanted to just scream into your pillow and cry. You decided on neither, taking in the fact that half his belongings were still in your room. 

The next day, you quickly go into action, cleaning the mess Quinn had made the previous night, all while putting his things aside. When you were done, a pill of clothes was splattered on the floor just outside your room, and you soon joined it with a pair of scissors in your hands. One by one, you started destroying his clothes, letting out all your anger and rage on the pieces of clothing. 

He deserved it, after everything he had put you through in the last year or so, he deserved it, all of it. You showed no mercy, going crazy on the clothes you wore more often than the others, or the ones you knew held a special place in his heart, like his NTDP and Michigan hoodies. 

Next were all the gifts he had given you. It pained you, chopping off the heads of so many adorable teddy bears, but it needed to be done. Those gift were given in a way of saying ‘I love you’ but it didn’t mean anything to him. You didn’t mean anything to him. Everything single thing he had given you was destroyed, but the one that hurt the most was the ring he had gotten you for your birthday, both your initials engraved on the inside of it. Scissors weren’t enough for this, so you made your way to your kitchen, grabbing one of your big knife, doing anything and everything to bend the ring to the point where he couldn’t return it. 

Tears were falling down your cheeks as you placed the ring at the top of the box, above all the other gifts and his clothes, making sure it’d be the first he saw. It felt weird, like you were truly saying goodbye to your relationship. It was the end, after today you’d never see him again. Your boss telling you you could transfer to the compagnies office in Calgary as soon as next week, something your best friend was over the moon about. You’d never have to face the boy who completely broke and changed you, you’d never have to be in the same city as him. 

You didn’t even bother knocking on his door when you dropped off his things, instead just walking in, knowing he barely ever kept his door locked. He was sitting on his couch, a random TV show on the playing when you walked in. You heard him curse under his breath, but you didn’t pay any attention to him, instead dropping the box in the middle of his apartment. 

“I hope you rot in hell, Quintin.” You said harshly before turning around and making your way back out his home. 

“You’re a psycho you know that.” He called out, making you stop right before his door. You turned around, only to see he wasn’t on his couch anymore, now standing about five feet away from you. 

“Yeah? Then what does that make you? I hope one day you’ll feel that you’ve made me feel. That your self esteem is so low that you don’t ever want to leave your apartment. Karma’s a bitch.” You told him before opening his door and walking out. Part of you hope he’d follow you, tell you it was all a big mistake and that he still loved you, that way you’d be able to crush him, making him feel what he made you feel. But you weren’t okay with the fact that he didn’t knowing karma would eventually come back to him. 

And it did.

You said it was true love, but wouldn’t that be hard?

You can’t love anyone ‘cause that you would mean you had a heart

I tried to help you out, now I know that I can’t

‘Cause how you think’s the kind of thing I’ll never understand

A year later, you were sitting in the living room of your shared apartment with your best friend, mindlessly scrolling on your phone when an article caught your eye. Karma had done it’s thing. Barely a month after you left Vancouver, Quinn had found himself a model girlfriend, she was the complete opposite of you, but you didn’t spend any time analyzing everything difference between the two of you like you would’ve done when you first broke up. No, now you just wished nothing more than for her to break his heart. 

And she did. Barely a year into their relationship she cheated on him, publicly, meaning everyone knew about it. Quinn had grown a little famous because of his relationship, meaning almost every city he went in, people would stare at him, teenagers would giggle at him, while adults gave him looks of pity. 

You had ran into Alex during the last season, when the Kings were in town to play against Calgary, and a friendship was born. The two of you talked quite a lot, almost every single day, getting to know each other pretty quickly. The boy soon became like an older brother to you, and you became a little sister to him. 

This new friendship of yours meant if you ever wanted to, you could get updates of Quinn. Hearing that the defenseman was heartbroken over his girlfriend cheating on him brough you the most amount of join you had ever felt in the last two years. You slept amazingly that night, knowing Quinn was in his bed, his heart aching, just like yours was last summer. 

She had done to him, what he had done to you. Only, his was way worst because of the whole affair being public. To you, it felt like you had won. For months, it was him who wasn’t hurting, but now the table had turns. While you slept peacefully each night, Quinn struggled to find sleep, his mind asking himself so many questions. Did she even love him? How many other guys were there? 

One night, your words replayed in his head. Karma was a bitch.

[itsclydebitches]

There's something I find pretty messed up about Little's part of the story. Penny is dead. The story puts focus on this and how it's effecting Ruby and is why Little's death is what breaks Ruby. The volume ends though with Little coming back so it's a happy end, right? Except Penny is still dead and never coming back. And they are going back to a world where people die when they are killed. It's like "Forget about your dead friend cause we got one where your actions don't have consequences."

Yeah, that's an issue with the Ascension arc as a whole. As discussed previously, we're already starting from a place of confusing messages because the world can't decide what Ascension exactly is. Some beings lose all their memories and (arguably as a result) their sense of self. Some just seem to get cool upgrades. Some change in such monumental ways they probably can't go back to their old life even if they wanted to (can Somewhat ever live with the other mice again now that they're like fifty times their size?). And some, Like Ruby, undergo no changes at all except a convenient and ambiguous ~emotional clarity~

So Ascension is a catch-all "Anything could happen" situation where all options, no matter how shady they appear to the audience, are eventually presented as #good by the show... except I'm 100% sure they only come across that way BECAUSE they happen to side characters we're not invested in/are leaving behind. Would people honestly have been happy if Ruby:

Completely forgot who she was (King)

Got some crazy physical upgrade that would fundamentally change the power dynamics of the show/other her in Remnant/imply that she's a faunus to strangers if she got some animal trait (the Caterpillar/Somewhat)

Came away with a new "purpose" and decided she didn't want to be a Huntress anymore (the Paper Pleasers)

There's a reason Ruby did not change except to inexplicably regain her confidence because the show and on some level recognizes that these options are indeed an awful kind of "death," something that would be bad to do to your main character (baring a monumental shift in the show). When we talk about the importance of growth (in real life and in fiction) we're referencing a context in which a person changes slowly over time, adapting to each change in a natural way, all of it a combination of environmental factors and personal agency. To just have some magical tree instantly change you without consent, making you "better" by its own, undefined parameters... that's not wonderful, that's horrifying! But as you say, even if we overlook all that and come at Ascension from a direction the story wants, accepting and praising such an aspect of this world... Team RWBY doesn't live in that world. What did they learn from this then? Yay for people who live in alternate realities because they get to become "better" rather than dying? Good for them, but our friends are still dead and our lives are still on the line.

If RWBY wanted this arc they not only needed to reeeeeally clean up what Ascension is/how it works, but decide on the message they're trying to impart. Because what we got, on a literal level, is Ruby being depressed enough to choose ending (that version of) her life, instead being rewarded for that choice by a pantheon she's kinda fighting against (in a way that both skips her development and ignores every other implied rule of Ascension), and is returning to a world where none of this matters because death is a Permanent Thing That She's Going to Be Seeing a Whole Lot More of Soon.

Penny is dead. Many other allies are dead. Weiss' Kingdom is gone. Salem is set to exterminate the rest of Remnant, and instead of dealing with any of that Volume 9 gave Team RWBY a (literal) fantasy world where everything is just fine, actually. Wouldn't it be cool if no one actually died and whenever it seems like they did they'd just come back as an upgraded version of themselves? Yeah! Too bad that's not the reality they're heading back to.

Honestly, the way to clean up all of Volume 9 for me is to slap a "It was just a dream" disclaimer on it. Volume 10 we learn that Ruby had a crazy, contradictory fever dream post-battle in which the biggest trauma she's ever faced is magically fixed by her subconscious? Yeah, that tracks. More than taking Volume 9 at face value.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Errand of Mercy

Summary: Y/N is miserable from head to toe. Can the boys coddle her back to good health?

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Nothing really. All fluff.

Pairings: No romantic pairing. Jensen Ackles x teen!reader, Jared Padalecki x teen!reader

Word Count: 1,467

A/N: I got a request from the dear @kayyay1219

...my request is another J2 x teen!reader where the reader doesn’t show up one day for work and Jensen and Jared are worried and they go to her apartment and see that she’s really sick. So they take care of her because she has a high fever and they try everything to get her fever down, like an ice bath or something. They call her cute nicknames are just being so sweet.

I said I could do it but it might be a while. Then the poor thing sent me this message this evening:

Hey I know you said it will take a while to get to my request, but I had a bad day and got diagnosed with Covid and really need a J2xteen!reader. It doesn’t have to have the reader diagnosed with Covid just J2 taking care of the reader, getting her fever down and calling her sweet nicknames. Thank you!❤️

So, needless to say, I got my butt in gear to try and give her some Jensen and Jared comfort. I hope this helps sweetie! Feel better soon! 😘

A/N 2: As always, this story is about a Jensen and Jared from a different part of the multiverse and doesn't reflect anything to do with their real life. This is a complete and utter work of fiction. 😊

Y/N wandered through her apartment door, exhausted beyond belief. Her body ached, she was sweaty and hot while also shivering. She was bundled up in a scarf and jacket even though the sun shone brightly and the breeze was light and warm. Her whole body ached from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. 

Even her hair ached.

The day had been miserable from the first minute she'd been forced to crawl out of bed and go to work. She'd had every intention of staying tucked up in bed and had called in to say she couldn’t make it. But her boss had insisted. They were already short staffed, and they couldn't manage without her. At least that had been the gaslighting, guilt trip her boss had gone with. 

And since technically she was an adult now, she figured forcing herself into work when she felt like death, just came with the territory. Though the way she saw it, if the word "teen" was still part of her age she shouldn’t have to be a grown up yet.

But she'd gone in. However, she was pretty sure the only thing she'd accomplished during her four hours at work was making all of her coworkers sick and spreading her plague throughout the population like she was Typhoid Mary. Between her coughing and shivering, she'd been useless and eventually her boss had very reluctantly sent her home. 

So now she was back in her tiny apartment and ready to go pass out. She knew she should make herself eat something, and probably have a shower just to wash the ick away. But she just didn't have the energy.

As she stumbled her way to the bedroom, there was a knock at her door. She moaned pathetically and slowly hauled herself back there. She didn't bother to look and see who it was; maybe it would be someone there to shoot her and put her out of her misery.

But it was so much better.

Standing on the other side of the door were her two favorite people in the world. Her adopted big brothers, Jensen and Jared. Her aunt had worked in the props department for Supernatural from the very first season, and Y/N used to visit her there all the time. 

She grew up hanging around the boys, who treated her like a little sister from day one, and that hadn’t changed just because the show ended. They teased and tormented her from time to time, sure, but they were also fiercely protective, the way big brothers should be. 

When Y/N's boyfriend had broken up with her a week and before prom, she was heartbroken and had planned on just staying home. But Jared and Jensen wouldn't hear of it. Instead they arranged a limo for her and three of her closest friends and escorted the whole group of them to the dance. 

While she and her friends had danced the night away, having an amazing time, the boys stood on the sidelines with most of the other adults all night, acting as incredible celebrity chaperones. Needless to say, Y/N was a big hit.

So, considering their track record for being there when she desperately needed them to be, it wasn't that surprising to see them standing outside her door with a bag full of snacks, delicious chicken soup from her favorite restaurant, and a bag full of medicine.

God, they’re amazing, she thought, as relief coursed through her. 

Despite her protests that she was going to make them sick, they tramped into her tiny apartment, looking too big for the space as usual. Within minutes they had her out of her jacket and scarf and were pushing her into the bathroom.

Jared pulled a small Eucalyptus plant out of one of the bags and hung it in the shower, turning the taps on super hot, so that steam was rolling through the bathroom. 

"Climb in, kiddo. And stay in there for at least 20 minutes. Sit down on the shower floor if you need to." He told her as a billow of steam followed him out the door.

She did what he said and twenty minutes later she was feeling a little better. Her chest didn't feel as constricted and heavy and her nose was a little less plugged. Plus the continuous, intense heat finally got rid of her inside chill.

When she went into her bedroom she saw that one of the boys had laid her comfiest, and fluffiest pair of pajamas on her bed and she pulled them on gratefully.

She went out to the living room and immediately sighed when she saw what they’d done. The glaring overhead light was off and her soft lamps and just a few candles lit up the room. They had peppermint tea sitting on the coffee table for her and a bevy of snacks were lined up beside it. They jumped to their feet as soon as she came in, and ushered her over to the couch. 

Jensen pulled her down beside him, tucking her under his arm. He kissed the top of her head while Jared laid out the assortment of medicines they'd brought. She described all her symptoms and he picked out the ones he thought would work best and handed them out to her like her own private nurse. A very giant, very hairy, incredibly sweet, private nurse.

After she was medicated, Jensen picked up her remote and clicked on the tv before passing it to her.

“You get to pick, sweetheart.” He held up a finger. “But just remember that you love us and we’re here on an errand of mercy. So…maybe we can forgo Bridgerton?”

Y/N chuckled. “How about a space opera?” 

Jensen raised a questioning eyebrow, but Jared clapped his hands together “Yes, bring on Luke, Leia and Han!”

So they slipped into a galaxy far, far away and Y/N watched for a while before falling into an exhausted doze. She roused a few times, coughing a little, but quickly fell back to sleep when her subconscious reminded her she was cozy and safe.

When the boys were halfway through The Empire Strikes Back, Y/N woke up for real. The boys paused the movie and brought her some of the warmed up chicken soup and another cup of peppermint tea. She sipped at the warm, steamy liquids and listened to the boys arguing over the best movie of the original trilogy. Jensen said Return of the Jedi, Jared said Empire Strikes Back, and she told them they were both wrong, and nothing beat the original. The debate was on.

But as they agreed to disagree and get back to the movie, she set down her tea and began to feel the shivery achy feeling return. Jensen noticed and pulled her up against him again, covering her with the fleecy blanket from the back of her couch.

Jared put his big hand on her forehead and frowned. “You’re really warm again.” 

He pulled out the thermometer and put it under her tongue. When he checked it, his frown deepened. “A hundred and two. Shit.”

He gave her two Tylenols and then got a pile of cloths and a basin of cool water. He put a wet cloth on each of her wrists and then handed one to Jensen, taking yet another to begin bathing the bottom of her feet. Jensen had her lay her head in his lap and then slowly ran the cloth across her forehead and cheeks, as well as along the back of her neck. 

For nearly a half an hour they continued, just soothingly running the cloths across her feverish skin and murmuring words of comfort. As the fever fell and her shaking stopped, she found herself dozing once again.

She woke as Jensen was carrying her to her bedroom. She opened her eyes and he smiled down at her.

“It’s okay, baby. We’re just gonna tuck you in. Your fever is under control now, but we’re gonna crash on the couch and keep checking on you through the night.”

Y/N just nodded as she saw Jared pulling back her covers. Jensen laid her down gently and smoothed back her hair from her forehead, before kissing her there. He held up her phone and then tucked it under her pillow. 

“You text us immediately if you need anything and we’ll be here in a jiffy to get it for you, okay?”

Jared bent to kiss her forehead too and then scrunched up his nose. “Unless you gotta pee, in which case, there’s really nothing we can do to help.”

She laughed softly at his silliness. 

“Thank you both, so much” She said as she yawned wide enough to swallow her own head.

The boys blew her a kiss and waved from her bedroom doorway. 

“Just get better.” They said in unison.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:

@lyarr24

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@globetrotter28

@suckitands33

@alwaystiredandconfused

@evznackles

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@spnwoman

@deans-baby-momma

@luvr4miya

@arcannaa

@viviwatchestv

@winharry

@ladysparkles78

@waywardcheshire

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:

@kazsrm67

@slut-for-evans-stan

@sexyvixen7

@nancymcl

@hobby27

Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

@k-slla

@leigh70

@eevvvaa

@kickingitwithkirk

@foxyjwls007

@notinthislife50

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@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

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[earlgarden-archived]

Until I found you

"I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her"

ft. Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky

synopsis. what would be their type?

warnings. These are just in my opinion and you might not agree, Fem!reader

a/n. I added some other fictional characters that I think are the type the character would like

DAZAI OSAMU

his type: Makima from Chainsaw Man

°| listen, before you judge me, hear me out

°| obviously, this wouldn't be a good relationship if you were manipulative like the original Makima

°| but I'm like talking about her personality in general

°| I think he would like a person that would love and appreciate him

°| and with someone as nice and gentle as Makima, he would feel like he can be himself without feeling scared to

°| sure, you can be a bit scary, but he thinks that's what makes your charming

°| he can be quite scary too

°| but to be fair, dazai's also a red flag

°| also, I think he would really like someone of high intelligence

°| and we know that Makima is pretty smart so-

°| he honestly would love to do a mini IQ battle, to test each other's strengths

°| he's ALWAYS trying to tease you, he wants to see your mask crack and to see the real you (but also he wants to annoy the hell out of you)

°| but unfortunately, so far it's not working

°| you're so caring and loving to Dazai, that it makes him cry sometimes

°| he's never really had someone take care of him, and yet here you are making sure he is taking care of himself and having a healthy lifestyle

°| reminding him to wash his hair, clean his apartment, go to work on time

°| literally, Dazai goes to work on time for once so he can impress you (and so you can allow him to cuddle you at work)

°| it's your way on manipulating him (in a good way)

°| overall, Dazai would have a lot of fun when being with a Makima-like person, and he would be well taken care of

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

his type: Kirari Momobani from Kakegurui

°| ah yes, the psychopath couple

°| Fyodor would be VERY fascinated about your personality

°| you would have a facade of a refined and elegant lady, which fits into Fyodor's aesthetic

°| I can imagine Fyodor inviting you for tea as a date

°| and he gets increasingly more excited when he unravels the actual personality hidden underneath your facade

°| a self-centered, psychopath that enjoys making others' lives as miserable as possible

°| you have such a horrible personality, yet why could he feel himself getting more and more intrigued?

°| though the two of you have little regard for human life, you couldn't help but treat each other a differently to how you treat others

°| Fyodor kneeling down and kissing your hand while you sit on your chair like a queen 👑

°| The two of you having intellectual debates

°| insulting the people who dare question your opinion, yet complimenting Fyodor when he disagrees with your opinion

°| you help Fyodor evade getting arrested and charged for his crimes, though you knew he would get arrested sooner or later

°| if you were in a organisation that opposes Fyodor, you two would love to have a game of catching and outsmarting each other (similar to Dazai and Fyodor's rivalry)

°| but if you were in a organisation working with him, you two would be an unstoppable force, working together and outsmarting everyone

°| even Dazai's a little scared

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

That last ask about Animaestro, about LB's cat phobia made me remember that this chapter, chronologically, is before Chat Blanc... So, now I can't help but wonder if that was supposed to be some type of foreshadowing and/or the creator giving us a bit of a low-key spoiler.

It would have been a nice touch, if Maribug really got some screen PTSD (that someone from the PR Team said on their twitter that she indeed has it?). Yes, I know there is that chapter where she has this nightmare about Alya betraying her, but there is nothing else.

Awesome blog, btw, I love your pov regarding this show. I don't really feel that you are aggressively salty, just dissappointed about the wasted potential (like some of us). Even your "salt" towards the writers is pretty tame, but still pretty sure That Guy would block you lol.

(Post in question)

That's an interesting theory. I wouldn't put money on it being intentional, but it is totally possible! Chat Blanc was probably in the writers' minds for a while.

And did someone really claim that she officially has PTSD? Oh boy... I don't want to imply that mental health conditions only present in one way because they absolutely don't! There are a wide variety of ways that they can present themselves! There's also not a tried and true way for someone with PTSD to be triggered. Triggers can be really weird and seemingly make no sense. Things that seemingly should be triggers can somehow not effect you in the slightest and things that seem benign can be massively triggering. Brains are weird like that.

However, this is a story, so I can evaluate Marinette as a tool used to rep someone suffering from PTSD and not as a real person with PTSD who has no obligation to meet any sort of arbitrary standard. In that context, I feel comfortable saying that Marinette was not good rep. You don't get over PTSD by talking to your boyfriend and it's usually not a minor condition that lies dormant most of the time, letting you go about your life without any need for professional help.

One of my biggest pet peeves is stories giving characters a disability that never actually effects their life in a meaningful way. (Yes, PTSD is considered a disability or at least it can be one depending on how it presents.) They're called disabilities for a reason! They can and do have massive impacts on peoples' lives. If you want to include rep, then do it right! Don't give Marinette this condition and then only let it effect her when it's convenient for the story! Figure out her triggers and then let them effect her throughout the narrative because that's how PTSD works! If you don't want to do that, then don't say that she has PTSD.

You can be traumatized without getting PTSD. That is a thing. PTSD is not a synonym for trauma. It's a specific type of trauma response. It's also a real medical condition that requires professional help and a lot of hard work to manage because PTSD never really goes away. You just hopefully learn how to live with it and, in the process, get your symptoms to a manageable state.

Here are some examples of moments when Marinette's PTSD could have triggered, keeping in mind that this is a fictional character and not a real person, meaning that we're looking at this from a "set up the reveal" perspective and not a "people with PTSD have to react to this kind of trigger" perspective.

These moments from Dark Cupid and Derision are a perfect opportunity to show Marinette randomly panicking and to then bring it back during the reveal:

[Image description: two pictures of Kim down on one knee holding out a gift. The first image is from Dark Cupid and the second is from Derision.]

Marinette falling into the same pool in Derision and Mr. Pigeon 72 is another good one:

[Image description: two pictures of Marinette falling off of the same diving board. The first image is from Mr. Pigeon 72 and the second is from Derision.]

These were prime moments to show off her PTSD in a way that fit the story, but they didn't. Yet her condition is so bad that she panics over a bowl of cereal at the start of Derision, implying that her PTSD is pretty darn extreme! If it's that bad, then we should see at least a few hints of it before Derision or even after Derision, but we don't unless we're counting the many, many, many jokes told at Marinette's expense. Hopefully no one is arguing that those should count because using a trauma response for jokes is not quality rep. It also feels like a total cop out because the panic attacks in Derision are played in a wildly different manner from all the times Marinette freaked out in a silly, over-the-top way. It's not intuitive to connect those moments and it should be if those were supposed to be a true setup for the PTSD reveal. They weren't even treated as foreshadowing where Marinette's actions made no sense! Just what are we even doing here, writers?

If the writers are claiming that her PTSD comes from Chat Blanc and not Derision, then we have many examples of Chat Noir getting a white makeover without bothering Marinette, once again begging the question of where her PTSD is? What are her triggers? How is she learning to handle it?

I'll end this section by noting that I do know people who are officially diagnosed with PTSD and I even discussed Marinette with one of them, which is why I feel so comfortable saying that this is bad rep, though obviously you should defer to real experts on this one. If they say that this is great rep and that Marinette is presenting in a way that I'm not familiar with, then ignore me! My sample size is very limited.

I'll finish this off with a quick thank you for the lovely complement:

I don't really feel that you are aggressively salty

My goal is to come across as giving a critical assessment of canon and not just angry ranting, so this was very nice to hear! I want this blog to make you think, I'm really not looking to be angry or to make other people angry. I can't say that I'd blame That Guy for blocking me, though! I've never found creators doing that to be some kind of bad sign. Who wants to read brutal, unsolicited take-downs of their work? That's a special kind of doom scrolling. I'm a big fan of the "reviews are for readers" stance.

[mymarifae]

i just want to share my thoughts about akito and Death. because even now—even off the back of an event like burn my soul—people STILL talk about him like he's an explicitly depressed, suicidal character whose every action is cause for concern.

i think the idea that akito is suicidal has been floating around for a very long time. and while it's not entirely without merit (more on this in a bit), it's still a misconception. and it really feels like kashika exacerbated the issue. which is unfortunate! it's sad to see such a beautiful song be misinterpreted like this.

now don't get me wrong! kashika is about death. but two things:

1. kashika may have been written for akito, but it's not just for him. it's also deeply personal to ryo haruka. there are certainly similarities and haruryo undoubtedly understood everything akito felt during the events that led up to the crawl green incident, but i don't think it's entirely fair to equate his very real emotions and struggles to those of a fictional character. he and akito share kashika! you can interpret it through either lens, but trying to do so through both is where things start getting messy

2. whiiiiich leads me to my second point. who decided that the only way to interpret kashika and its themes of death is literally?

i think it's pretty common for people to automatically interpret any themes of death literally—or at least very negatively. we're naturally conditioned to fear death, and then we're taught to fear it even more. it's the change. it's the unknown. it's the very idea of an "end." most people aren't very fond of these things! understandably so. but personally? i think the symbolism that can exist behind death is beautiful.

Death is the 13th card of the major arcana. above all else, it symbolizes change (positive change; it's always, always about what's ultimately best for you). Death tells you it's time to move forward; this part of your life is done. there is more waiting for you—new opportunities, new experiences, a brighter, more fulfilling future—but you must be prepared to let go.

the habits and routines you have now? the mindsets that have kept you alive? your current sense of self? whatever it is, whatever Death is asking for, you have to let it "die." it won't serve you anymore. it will only drag you down. and it might be terrifying and you might not be able to comprehend what lies ahead and you might want to kick and scream and struggle, but you can't cling forever. endings are never easy, and sometimes they hurt like hell, but with each end comes a new beginning.

and yes if you've read burn my soul this should all sound very familiar lol:

looking at death from this perspective, kashika and the entirety of find a way out should read a lot more like akito caught on the cusp of a monumental transformation. suspended between "life" (the old) and "death" (the new) so to speak.

up to this point he's been fueled by spite and desperation. two very intense, very negative emotions—but it's an intensity that worked. everyone else on vivid street had years of musical experience, and he had 0. he needed to catch up and he needed to catch up quickly because it's not like he could put the whole world on pause. he could take his time to learn the basics, sure, but every other vivid street musician would continue improving and growing while he did that. there would always be a gap between him and Them.

unless... he worked harder—WAY harder—than all of them combined.

and maybe that wouldn't do it either. maybe he would be stuck in place forever, always playing catch-up, always struggling to stay afloat, always being left behind. he knew this. and he knew the amount of destruction he'd end up inflicting upon himself if he went down this path. but in his mind, it was okay. it was worth it. because he'd rather die endlessly pursuing what he loves most than live not trying at all.

but in find a way out, when facing off against his old bullies, he starts to realize that he was wrong. he's not just stuck in place. he bridged the gap a long time ago, and he almost didn't even notice. and where he's going now, spite and desperation are the wrong emotions to sing from. he needs to let the unhealthy, extreme mindsets die, but also it's hard to let go of something when you would have given up a long long long LONG time ago without it.

but with time, and enough poking and prodding from ken and luka, he does it. he lets go. he lets the old parts of him die, and he passes on to the next stage of his life.

akito's character arc has always been about growth. improvement. learning. Becoming Better. and not just in a musical sense although Yes That Is A Huge Part Of It. his arc is also about his growth as a person. it's about him becoming more confident, and learning how to be kinder and more patient with both himself and other people. it's about him learning how to let his walls down and let his loved ones in. and to trust that they won't start kicking him to death once they're in there.

it's about him learning to exchange the Spite and Desperation for Passion and Love.

it's about him becoming happier.

which is why it's so fucking startling when people talk about him like he's suicidal and on the verge of a breakdown. like, woah, what?

as i said though, kashika isn't the only source of this misconception and i find more merit in the other sources because they're actual aspects of his character and scenes in the story and not song lyrics that shouldn't have been read so literally in the first place. like, yeah. we've seen a ton of unhealthy behavior out of akito. he's had a very extreme perspective on his place in the world from a super early age, and while the severity frequently gets exaggerated in fanon spaces, the shinonome household isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

he's been moody, he's been prickly and abrasive, he's lashed out. he keeps most people at arm's length and builds walls so high not even toya can get through them at first. he had to! he wouldn't have survived if he didn't! like, he was targeted and bullied by a group of adults when he first started singing on vivid street. that is actually a genuinely traumatizing thing to happen to a kid!

so no, i'm not against the idea that akito has experienced depression and suicidal ideation in the past. kinda comes naturally with the territory he ended up in. but that's the key word: past.

i get confused when the idea is dragged into the present. because again! the whole point of his character arc is he's overcome all that PAST adversity! recovery isn't linear but we're not about to see him hit rock bottom any time soon. or ever, actually. you know why? because we've already seen his rock bottom. stray bad dog. that event was his big breakdown moment. that's what opened him up to try to start healing.

we're not getting another stray bad dog. stop expecting another stray bad dog.

he's alright, i promise. he's growing up. he's gotten better. he knows he belongs in vivid bad squad. he knows he's loved. he knows his friends will be there to catch him when he falls. he's always been strong, but now he's even stronger. he's excited for his future, and i think we should be too.

[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Here we go.

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12

Part 10 - The Fountain

My hands shook, as I paced back and forth in front of the building, Nick standing with his head hanging.

"Leena I-"

I put a hand up. "Don't."

Nick huffed. "I was going to tell you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah? When? Back at the house?" I threw my hands up. "Fat lot of good that did us, huh?!"

He shrugged. "Leena, he's my best friend. I couldn't just betray his trust like that."

"You're his fucking sponsor, Nick!" I glared at him, my voice at a level I would usually be embarrassed to scream at. Right now, however, I could not give even a half of a fuck less. "You are supposed to keep him straight!"

"Jesus, fuck, Leena! I tried!" I stopped, staring at him. "He was sneaking the fucking drinks! I didn't catch him until I tracked him down at a bar last weekend!"

"What?"

He was standing, his arms held up in defense. "He disappeared one night after a show, and I had to check his location. He was at a bar, kicking back shots. The only reason he agreed to leave was because you called him!"

I thought back. "When was this?"

"Thursday night."

The pieces started forming in my mind. His muffled words, his confrontational attitude. Not calling me as often…

I raised an eyebrow. "He told me you guys were out celebrating someone's birthday."

He shook his head. "He never went with us to those anymore. Him and I would just go back to the hotel." He sighed hard, putting his hands in his sweater pockets. "He admitted to me that he started having a few drinks when he was alone in his room each night, after we left again on tour."

My eyes bulged. "Did he say why?"

He only shook his head. "Said he had it under control, and it wouldn't be like last time."

"Last time?"

Nick sighed. "Look, you should talk to him."

I scoffed. "Oh yeah, cause he's obviously very honest with me!"

Nick looked down. "It's not my story to tell, Leena."

"It is now."

He walked over to the bench, taking a seat and looking up at me. I followed suit.

"He just...he was bad before." He stared off in another direction, looking lost in his head. "Performing drunk, forgetting lyrics, it was getting out of hand. It was getting harder to hide."

I kept quiet, giving him room to speak.

"Then, the pandemic hit, and it only got worse." He looked at me, then. "Noah's got a lot of demons, Leena. And he's been through some shit in his life. His way of coping was drowning it out in a bottle."

"Nick, what happened? What made him finally want to stop?"

He sighed, looking away from me again and staring at his shoes.

"We picked up a gig. Well, he picked up a gig. He didn't tell us until the night of. Me, Jolly, and Folio all tried to talk him out of it. He had been on a 2-week bender, and we figured it couldn't go well."

I stared at him, watching his face change while he recalled the memory.

"He insisted. It was a small venue, small show, what could happen?" He paused, biting his lip. "After the show, we went out to celebrate, as we always did. And Noah, he just, he wouldn't let the fuck up. Shot after shot, beers in between."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm not sure if you know this, but the guy's a real jackass when he drinks."

I nodded. "I've gathered that."

"He's like a whole different dude. Well, there was this guy at the bar. He was shit talking, trying to hit on Lily. Noah snapped, started a brawl. He wasn't going to back out, so we all had to get involved, try to break it up."

"The bartender came over to help break up the fight. She was probably as tall as you."

My heart sunk. This wasn't going anywhere good.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to do it, he was blacked out." He looked straight at me. "She ended up in the hospital, bad concussion, fractured wrist, pretty rough shit."

"He hit her?"

Nick shook his head. "Not intentionally. She just kind of got in the way. He wasn't paying attention. Knocked her out in the process."

I was staring at Nick, seeing the pain on his face.

"I don't want this for him, Leena. I want him to quit drinking. But Noah, he's a different animal entirely. I don't know if I can handle sponsoring him."

I nodded. "I understand, Nick. I'm sorry."

"Hey."

The rasped voice made us both whip our heads around. An absolutely hellish looking Noah stood about fifteen feet away, hood over his head, hands in his pockets. He looked nearly asleep still, eyes squinted in the sunlight.

We both stood, Nick walking over to him first.

“Man, what the fuck did you do?”

Noah was staring at me, eyes boring into my head. I returned with a glare of my own.

“What I had to.”

-

Pulling into the driveway of their home, I heard Noah groan from the back seat.

“I think my fucking truck got towed.”

Noah had slept the entire ride back to Calabasas. This was the first time we heard his voice since we left OCDC. I had been sitting, stewing, planning all the ways I was going to lash out at him.

Once the wheels came to a stop, however, I lost my nerve and opened the door. I hopped out onto the pavement, and beelined for my own truck. I heard a car door slam behind me, and footsteps chasing.

“Leena, wait!”

I spun on my heel, letting any rage I had come through my eyes, blazing into him. He visibly flinched backward, still at least six feet behind me.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Noah Sebastian!” I pressed my key fob to unlock the doors.

“I did it for you, you know!” This made me freeze, car door half open. I grit my teeth and slammed the it closed.

My feet marched directly in front of him, staring up at his insanely tall form.

“Are you kidding me?! You were arrested, Noah! You got fucking wasted, and beat Sam to a bloody pulp for…what? To save me?!” I threw my hands up, a demented smile twisting my face. I let my hands come together, slow clapping.

“Well! My fucking hero!” I took another step toward him, pressing a finger into his chest. He took a step back in response.

"No, let me tell you what you actually fucking did. You started drinking again, behind Nick's back!" Poke in the chest.

"You fucking drank yourself belligerent and took out some bravado-ass vigilante justice on some dirtbag piece of shit who isn't even fucking worth it!" Poke.

"You got arrested, jeopardized not only your own reputation, but your friends' as well." Poke.

"And on top of all of that, you fucking lied to me about all of it!" That last statement earned him a good, old-fashioned shove to the gut.

"God damn it Noah! I warned you not to fucking lie to me!"

He stood there, absolutely motionless, his face hard but his eyes pleading. He fucked up. And now, thanks to my outburst, he fucking knew it.

I took a hard breath, closing my eyes to re-center my thoughts. I looked back at him, seeing he was trying to take a step forward.

I put my hand up, stopping him. "Noah," I felt the familiar sting in my eyes. "this is over."

That's when I saw the panic flood his face. "No, Leena, wait-"

I shook my head. "I can't, Noah. I just can't."

He reached out, snatching one of my hands, too quick for me to pull away. "Please, Leena. Please, don't do this."

I saw his eyes welling up, making it harder for me to hold back the tears now threatening to spill out of my own.

"I have to go." I looked down, unable to hold back anymore. My voice cracked. "I can't do this."

"Leena, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. Tell me what to say? Please, baby." His hand pulled mine, and I caught a glimpse of his knuckles. On top of his tattoos, his skin was broken, bloodied, and mangled. Dried blood covered the skin, and his fingernails were filthy.

I squeezed my eyes closed. "Noah, there's no fixing this."

"Leena," His voice was a whisper. "please. I can't lose you."

I wiped at my face, slipping my hand out of his grasp.

"You already did."

-

3 Months Later

The packing tape made such an awful sound when it screeched over the top of the box. I sighed, pushing the box to the side and used my Sharpie to label it. 'Bedroom'.

Angel sat next to me, eyeing the men walking in and out of the room.

"Guys, this is the last box." I pushed it toward them and smiled as one of them came over and picked it up.

I stood off the floor, surveying the room. Laura skipped in from the hallway.

"Okay, so all of the furniture, and half the boxes are loaded. I talked to Enzo, and we are right on schedule to have the truck take off by 2PM. After that, I think we should grab lunch?" I nodded at her.

"We can drop Angel at your place first?"

She walked over, petting the top of his head. "Of course."

I grabbed my purse off of the bathroom counter, making sure I had everything I needed.

"You're staying with me until when, again?"

I had to think for a moment. Days were easy to lose track of.

"Sunday. Then I fly out to Seattle."

She nodded. "You sure you can't just move in with me? I don't think I can handle you being away for so long."

I chuckled. "It's only six months, babe. I'll be back before you know it."

"I know, but renting out your house seems a little extreme."

I waved her off, stepping through the threshold, Angel in tow.

"Nah, I'll get an apartment when I get back."

After breaking off my relationship, I had to take a step back and make some changes. Life was just too stressful the way it was. I needed something different.

I promptly drafted my resignation to Kline Home Lending, effective immediately. I then called my Dad, giving him the entire rundown of the prior weeks, telling him I needed to find a way to get away. He told me to take some time off, and go stay with him for a while.

That was about as much convincing as I needed.

Noah had tried to reach out many times, but that feathered out after about a month, my message evidently coming through pretty clearly. I kept in decently close contact with Nick, however. I broke up with him, but I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't still think about him every single day. I worried about Noah.

Nick had told me that thankfully, Sam didn't press charges, and he was given probation for a year, which included required anger management, therapy, and regular sobriety tests. I was glad to hear that. He was complying, and I knew from speaking with Abel, that he was once again attending AA. He had already earned a new 60-day coin. My heart swelled when I heard.

"Leena?" Laura caught my attention, making me realize I hadn't responded to something she said as she drove to the restaurant.

"Sorry, what?"

She shook her head. "Where are you right now?"

I chuckled. "Sorry, my mind was on something else. What did you say?"

She peered at me from the side of her eyes. "I asked if it was okay if Nick joined us for lunch? He mentioned that he wanted see you before you left."

I smiled. "Oh, yeah of course. I haven't seen him in...a while."

I hadn't seen Nick since that day. The last time I saw Noah.

We pulled in to the restaurant about twenty-minutes later, Nick standing outside of his truck, waving at us as we pulled in.

"Hey!" I jumped out of Laura's car, and Nick wrapped me in a hug. I squeezed him tight, genuinely happy to see him.

"How are you doing?"

I sighed, a weak smile on my face. "I'm managing. How about you?"

He nodded and looked to Laura, who rounded the corner. "No complaints."

Laura hugged Nick, and we entered the small cafe.

Lunch was easy, comfortable. I put down a BLT sandwich quickly, chatting with Nick about their upcoming European tour dates.

"Where are you most excited to play?"

He smiled, munching on a fry. "Definitely Germany. The crowds out there are the best!"

"Oooh, I would die to see Paris!" I cooed, sipping my sweet tea.

"We'll be there in February!"

"So jealous." I tossed a straw paper at him, earning a fry tossed back at me in return.

Nick took a bite of his burger, and promptly wiped his face with his napkin. "Mm, Laura?"

She turned her attention to him between bites of salad.

"You're coming to the show tomorrow night, right?"

I eyed her suspiciously. She looked caught, a sheepish grin on her face. "Uhm..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"

She nodded slowly, and I scoffed. "Uh, did you think about mentioning that, maybe?"

She turned to Nick for help, who averted his eyes.

"I was going to mention it...today?" She smiled, guilty.

I gave her an annoyed whine. "Laura!"

"What? Leena, it's free Bad Omens tickets! Whenever I want! How am I supposed to say no?!"

I shrugged. "Fucking fangirl."

This caused her and Nick to both chuckle.

"Leena, why don't you come?"

I stopped mid-drink and deadpanned at him. "Uh...let me count the reasons?"

He rolled his eyes. "Noah doesn't have to know. You can sit in VIP, where he won't bother to look?"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no thanks. This has been hard enough without listening to him serenade me." I feigned awe. "Voice of an angel, and all."

Nick snickered. "Alright, well let me know if you change your mind."

Laura had driven us back to her house, where I promptly got into my own vehicle and headed to AA. It would be my last meeting until I got back in July, so I wanted to get my goodbyes in now.

I was running late, five minutes past 6PM, and shuffled quickly into the building. When I entered the door, an explosion of voices hollered at me, causing me to stop, stunned.

"Bon Voyage!" Everyone's voices unanimously cheered. The room was decorated with balloons, banners, streamers, and random party decor. The table was covered in treats ranging from cookies, brownies, donuts, and a massive cake in the middle with 'We'll Miss You' scripted on the top.

"Guys! Oh my gosh! You didn't need to do all of this!"

One by one, all of my group members came up for hugs. Abel, then Roger. Seth and Jackson. Syd squeezed me the tightest, looking a little misty and claiming she would come find me if I wasn't back here the day I promised to be.

It was the last person who made me stop dead in my tracks. Noah stood, tall and clean. His hair was combed, freshly cut. He wore a black hoodie, black jeans, and bright red Vans. His hands were in his pants pockets, and he looked nervous.

His smile was big, his eyes bright and clear. It was the best I had seen Noah since I met him. He looked straight, sober. I couldn't help but crack and grin when he held his arms out, inviting a hug.

"I guess you can pass, if you want. I just figured-" But I couldn't help it, I walked over and pressed into him with more force than I intended.

His arms wrapped me tightly, and I inhaled the scent of his cologne, woodsy and fresh. He held me longer than we should've, but the warmth that burst in my chest gave me some of the only solace I felt in months.

He finally released me, pulling back.

I beamed brightly at him. "You look amazing, Noah!"

He rubbed the back of his neck, his nerves obvious. "Yeah, well, I've been working on a lot."

I nodded at him, my hands still holding his arms. "It shows. Good for you, I'm proud."

He locked eyes with me, his dark irises piercing me. He didn't speak, he just smiled, and I felt my feet threatening to melt right into the floor.

Group was informal today, mostly just everyone asking me what my plans were. What I planned to do up in Washington for six months, what my plans were when I got back, etc. I spent the entire hour in one of the best moods I had been in for so long. It was exhilerating.

Noah didn't say much, just watching me intently, listening to everything I said.

It wasn't until after, when Abel insisted I let him clean up, and I was walking the remaining desserts out to my car, that he caught up with me.

"Leena?" I turned around, and smiled at him again. "Hey, I uh," He kicked at the ground, clearly struggling to speak. "I was wondering..."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes?"

"Were you going to be at the show tomorrow, by chance?" He couldn't quite look at me. I leaned back against my truck.

"Yeah, Nick mentioned that." He looked up at me then. "I don't think I can make it, though. I'm sorry."

His face fell. "Oh." He nodded. "Right, yeah, I'm sure you're busy, with the move and everything."

I sighed. "Well, the move is mostly finished. I just," I looked away from him. "I don't think I can."

"What do you mean?"

I laughed then, disbelieving that he didn't understand. "Noah, it hasn't been easy for me."

He just held his lips together in a tight line.

"I..." I trailed off, not quite sure how far I wanted to go with this. "I fucking miss you, Noah. That's kind of the problem. I need to get some distance."

His eyes held something in them I didn't recognize. Hope, maybe? I couldn't let my mind go there.

"I miss you too, Leena. So much."

I bit my lip. My brain was firing on all cylinders. I was making a fucking mistake somewhere, I could feel it.

"Look," He looked back up at me. "let me think on it, okay?"

He smiled then, a small, innocent thing. "Okay."

I left him with that, fear that I may do something I regret if I didn't leave now.

I hopped into my truck and drove down the road toward Laura's, Noah's face flashing in my brain over and over. His words.

'I miss you, too, Leena.'

'So much.'

I was parked in her driveway, running it through my head over and over. The warmth of his hug, the smell of his shirt, the look in his eyes.

God damn it.

I pulled out my phone, opening my thread with Nick.

Me: Still got that ticket?

-

I sat back on the lounger, trying not to seem too obviously drinking in the show around me. Laura stood up at the rail, singing every word. I watched Noah dance around the stage, sauntering with all the confidence in the world. My mouth was dry. My heart was heavy.

That was my guy. Once.

After Death of Peace of Mind, Noah began his usual monologuing, which signaled to me that Just Pretend was coming. I wasn't sure if I could handle that. I intended to head to the bathroom when they performed that one, if only for my own sanity.

However, Noah's speech was a little different this time, making me sit forward on the couch, paying better attention.

"Alright Los Angeles. We appreciate you guys coming out here tonight." The crowd applauded heavily. He walked up onto the riser, and sat down, legs hanging off the stage.

"I wanted to chat with you guys for a moment, and get some stuff off my chest, if I could?" He was met with an explosion of cheering.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." He waved the crowd down.

"Now listen, there's something I need you all to know." He went silent, his head staring down at his microphone. He lifted it, and looked directly into the crowd. "I'm an alcoholic."

For the first time in the entire night, the crowd was dead silent. Pins dropping everywhere.

In his nervous state, Noah stood up. He laughed lightly, and walked back over to the mic stand. "Yeah, heavy, I know."

"Here's the thing, I made a decision a while ago that I needed to get sober. And if you have an addiction, you know that getting well is the hardest God damn thing you'll ever do." This was met with applause.

"Today, I re-earned my 90-day sobriety chip." He held his hand in the air, the blue coin twinkling under the lights.

The crowd erupted. I was mesmerized.

He put the coin back in his pocket, and turned his attention back to the crowd.

"Now, the reason I tell you this, is because this journey for me has been anything but easy. 91 days ago, I had fallen off the wagon so bad, I concussed myself." His eyes then peered up into our booth. I saw his eyes look dead into mine. "And in doing so, I lost the love of my life."

The crowd 'awed' and 'oohed', but he didn't take his eyes off of me.

"So this next song I want to play, isn't what I'm supposed to play next."

He sighed heavily. "I wrote this song, a very long time ago."

Folio began a slow, heavy bass drum beat. Woodwind sounds came though the speakers.

"At the time that I wrote it, it didn't have as much meaning, but today, as I stand here before you, it means everything to me."

He finally tore away his stare. "If you know the words, sing it with me. If it means something to you."

I gripped the railing, watching him replace his mic on the stand, and swallowing hard.

"This is The Fountain."

The crowd cheered. Noah's voice rang out, an utterly sad sound.

"What will I have left, when even the hurt is gone? And I can't feel a thing?"

I was frozen.

"Would you had been there, when I came home? Could you hold on another day?"

"I wish I had not held, held on to you so long, but I was just so damn afraid."

"I wish I hadn't used you to pull me out of this dark and lonely place."

The song paused, only the sound of synthetic rhythms coming through.

"I had the whole damn world, and I gave it all away. What did I think I would save?"

"For better or for worse, this is my burden to take. Cause I'm the only one to blame."

"You're so much better off with nothing but memories of, memories of my face."

"Because I have no use, now that you're gone. And now I'm running out of faith."

His voice was stronger. The feeling beating through my chest.

"Together we will live forever."

"I'm not afraid anymore."

All of them sang now.

"Forever."

"I'm not afraid anymore."

"We will live forever."

-

I was tearing through the crowd at an alarming pace. Laura was barely keeping up with me, calling after me. I couldn't stop. I was electric, the feeling under my skin absolutely boiling.

When I reached the security guards, I lifted my VIP badge and waited for them to open the door. I burst through, pacing down the long hallway toward the green room.

"Leena, where are you going?!"

"I've got to find that bastard!"

I burst through the door, startling the few people on the other side. My eyes scanned the room, locking on Nick and Jolly, Folio nearby.

I stomped over to them, absolutely raging. "Where is he?!"

Nick looked absolutely terrified. "He's, uh..."

"Looking for me?" I spun, seeing him standing with his hands kneading together, gloves still in place.

"You!" I walked up to him, his hands coming up in defense. "Who do you think you are?!"

He furrowed his brow.

"Excuse me?"

I took a few steps toward him. This time, he didn't step back. He only broadened his shoulders and stared me down.

"You go out there, and dedicate a God damn song to me? To us?!"

He smirked. Actually fucking smirked.

"I did."

"Ugh! Who do you think you are?!"

"You already asked me that."

"And you didn't answer!"

Everyone was staring at us now.

"I think that I'm the guy who wanted to make a God damn statement!" This made me roll my eyes, to which he scoffed, unamused. "Jesus, Leena. What do you think? I'd embarrass myself like that, admitting I'm a fucking drunk, just for fun?!"

This made me pause. He did do that. That was huge. That was life-changing.

"So yeah, you can be fucking mad if you want to. But I fucking love you, and I was tired of you not hearing me. So I sang you a God damn song." He narrowed his eyes. "Sorry if you didn't fucking like it."

I laughed, loudly. "Didn't like it?" My eyes stared at him wide. "I fucking loved it!" I threw my hands up in defeat. "That's the problem, Noah."

"The problem?"

I sighed, staring right at him. "I love you."

The words fell out before I could stop them. I didn't intend to say it quite that blatantly, with an audience.

"You do?" His voice was hard, still.

"I do. And I don't know what the fuck to do about that."

His face changed, softening around the edges, and he stepped toward me, a smile playing on the corners of his lips.

"You don't know what to do?"

He invaded my space, making the air impossible to breathe.

I shook my head. "No."

He smiled wider, bringing an arm behind me, pulling me close to him. I couldn't react. I was jelly, completely under the spell.

"Well, for starters,"

He pulled me up to him, dipping his head down, and crashing his lips onto mine. It took me a second to react, but after my brain processed what was happening, my hands reached up to grip the sides of his face, pressing into the kiss.

A few hollers were heard behind us, but we tuned it out. This was us. We were back to us. Where we felt right, where we fit.

My chest exploded, my arms wrapping around his neck. He pulled me close, breaking our kiss, and pressing his forehead against mine.

"Fucking love you, Leena."

"Love you so fucking much, Noah."

-

A/N: There's only one part left, then the epilogue. Thank you for joining me on this journey! Tempted to write a sequel. I love these characters so much. Let me know if you think we should see what life after this looks like for Leena & Noah?

xo

[choke-me-joey]

Ch1/Ch2

Summary: As Joe's long-term girlfriend, you reflect on your relationship over the last 4 years.

Content warning: 18+ so minors are not welcome, real person fiction (don't like, don't read, don't bitch), smut, fluff, angst, probably inaccurate timelines and processes but does anyone really care?, alcohol use, smoking...if I've missed anything please let me know!!

Author's note: when I was deep in my Dan and Phil phase I wrote this, published it on AO3 and then took it down so before anyone says "Hey this looks familiar" don't panic, I'm not stealing anyone's work and I can prove it lmao. Thanks to @harrys-four-nipples for reading this first chapter and telling me it wasn't as shit as I thought. Love you girl 🥰 feedback is always appreciated, let me know if you'd like me to continue this!

Paris

December 2022

After the craziest year anyone could ever imagine, exploring and staying in a variety of hotels across the globe, the last convention of 2022 was finally happening. You had been by your boyfriend's side the entire time; your job as a freelance photographer/social media specialist pretty much allowed you to travel anywhere and everywhere and luckily Joe's team were on board with you providing his official con photos and managing his social media. But as ideal as that sounds, it hadnt been easy.

It had been one of the best experiences of your life, watching the man that you love so, so much bring so much joy to the millions of people around the world who adored him. Despite being at every convention, watching all the fan interactions and all the panels, you were never bored. It hadn't all been perfect though, in fact it had been extremely trying at times, what with Joe being so damn exhausted there was barely any 'you' time, or fans getting a little bit too crazy at the meet and greets, but you wouldn't have traded it for the world.

You'd think that being cooped up on planes, in hotel rooms and travelling constatnly for months on end, spending almost every waking minute of the day together would have seriously damaged your relationship, but in all honesty, it brought you and Joe closer together. Sure, there have been times where you’ve wanted to smother each other with the shitty hotel pillows, but what couple doesn't argue? Without the option of slamming the bedroom door shut and sulking, you've learnt to just talk it out, and move on, and things have just gotten better and better. You had just celebrated our 4 year anniversary in Tokyo last month, and Jamie was constantly teasing you, telling you if you didn't get a ring this Christmas, you two could just run away together instead.

Of course, Joe had gotten super salty at the joke, seemingly never being able to escape the never ending question from his family and friends of when he was finally going to pop the question. He didn't need it from Jamie now too. He was going to do it, he just didn't want to rush it after all.

As it was the last con of 2022, Joe's team had given you some time off to just enjoy the convention, acknowledging that you had worked through your anniversary in Japan. This meant you could actually walk around the con and hang out with some of your friends, and enjoy the panels, which you were grateful for. You had some time to chat with Joe's dad too, which was always a good time, you got on so well with him and it was nice to see just how proud he was of his son.

Although you had been together for 4 years now, you and Joe weren't quite comfortable with going public with your relationship just yet. Joe had sky rocketed to fame overnight and his fanbase could be a little...intense. They went into a frenzy if he was spotted within 5 feet of another girl, and said girls were always stalked and harassed online and Joe didn't want that for you. You'd been pretty good at hiding it so far, most fans just thinking you were part of Joe's management team always there to keep him on schedule. It was a bit shit not being able to hold his hand or give him a hug in public but when the time was right, you both agreed you would go public.

You had headed back to the hotel a little before the con was over, Joe would no doubt get waylaid by fans outside the convention centre and you'd said you would order you both some food and run a bath for him so he could just relax now he was done for the Christmas period. New Orleans was a little after New Years so you'd have time to explore Paris, get home for Christmas and see in the New Year together.

Joe practically collapses through the door and you run to hug him, you were both desperate to touch each other after a long day of pretending to be work friends.

"Hi," you mumbled into his neck. "Last one for this year done, babe. I'm so proud of you."

He doesn't respond, he's holding onto you as if someone was threatening to take you away from him. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I love you so much," he whispers. "Thank you."

"Joe, you don't need to thank-"

"Yeah, I do. I just thought that you've been there from the very start, and you've worked so hard, putting up with all my shit and you've been so supportive. I couldn't have done it without you." He sniffs, looking a little emotional. "Tonight was the first night I've actually been able to see you and not your camera, and knowing you were actually there, right in front of me, like, everything from the past 4 years went through my head and I could see you smiling at me, and the fans and I just..." he trails off, at a loss for words. You kiss his cheek, your own eyes welling up.

"You're such a soppy git, Joe." You tease him, but he knows you're joking.

"Shut up, you're just as soppy. " He laughs, poking you in the side gently. You poke my tongue out at him and he crosses his eyes in response, before my phone buzzes to let me know our food has been delivered to the hotel lobby. You break away from Joe, kissing his cheek and heading downstairs to grab your food.

You both scoff down your food, both of you having been way too busy to really eat a proper meal today, and then Joe gets into the bath. He tries to persuade you to join him, but honestly the bathtub here was smaller than the one at home, and even that could be a struggle to fit the both of you in, so you decline, changing into your pyjamas and watching some random show on TV and scrolling through your phone, replying to messages in the Quinn family group chat and your own family group chat.

You can't help but bite your lip in appreciation as Joe comes back into the bedroom, a towel around his waist and his curls dripping. He makes his way over to his suitcase in search for a pair of clean boxers. Your eyes scan over his bare torso, his broad shoulders, sharp collarbones, toned arms and his perfect stomach with a dusting of dark hair disappearing into the towel. He feels your eyes on him, standing up and turning around.

"What?" He smirks, stifling a yawn. You return his smirk, stretching a little.

"Nothing, just admiring my boyfriend. That alright with you?"

"Depends, can I ogle you like a pervert the next time you come out in just a towel?" Joe jokes, quickly pulling his boxers on under his towel, pulling it off and hanging it back up in the bathroom, before crawling on the bed and collapsing on his stomach, sighing heavily.

"You do anyway, I'm just more subtle about my staring, Quinn."

"You're just as pervy as me, Y/N, dont even try and pretend you're not. " he laughs, turning onto his side, pulling you down and wrapping his arm around you. You cuddle into him, burying your face in his neck.

"Difference is, Joseph, the whole Internet can see what a flirt you are, nobody has dirt on me."

"M'too tired for your smart arse right now."

"You like my smart arse." You grin into his skin, and he chuckles, the sound rumbling in his throat.

"I like your smart everything," he mumbles, kissing the top of your head. You sigh in response, enjoying the feeling of him cuddled up to you. "M'so tired. And my back is killing me."

"Did you twinge it again?"

"Mm. Hurts."

You untangle myself from him and roll off the bed, rummaging through your suitcases until you find the baby oil you always use to keep your skin moisturised after a shower. You shake it up as you walk towards the bed. "On your stomach, babe."

"That is the most terrifying thing you could say to me whilst holding baby oil." He eyes the bottle in your hands suspiciously, but does what you've said anyway.

"I believe that would actually be 'face down, ass up and just relax'." You smirk, climbing back on the bed, straddling his legs. He groans dramatically, making you roll your eyes and laugh. "You're such a drama queen, babe."

"Making a living off of it, aren't I?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up Mr Man of the Year." You quip, opening the bottle and pour some of the oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm it up before pressing your palms against his shoulder blades. You apply just the amount of pressure that you know he likes, rubbing his flawless skin. "That okay?"

He responds by letting out a quiet moan of approval.

"How did I get so lucky?" Joe groans into the pillow as you continue to rub his shoulders and upper back, trying your best to work out the knots in his muscles. You smile, placing a kiss to the back of his neck that makes him shiver slightly.

"You elbowed me in the tits on the Underground and made me spill my coffee all over myself." You chuckle, adjusting your position on his legs so you could massage further down.

"The one time in my whole life that me being a clumsy twat has actually worked out in my favour." Joe's voice is muffled by the pillow, but you can tell he's smiling. He grunts in pleasure as you knead his lower back gently.

"Meh, you're just lucky I thought you were hot." You teased, gently poking him in the sides. He chuckles softly. "And you were, and still can be, so socially awkward, it was endearing."

"Mm, love you." He mumbles, and you know he's slowly falling asleep by the way his body is relaxing beneath you.

"Love you too, babe." You whisper back, moving off of his back and into bed next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. Ypu push his curls back from over his face. "Always have, always will." You kiss his temple and turn off the bedside lamp, letting him sleep off the post convention exhaustion whilst you take advantage of the good selection of TV channels the hotel has.

A few hours later, you're still awake and on your phone, scrolling through Instagram, the TV long turned off. You're laid on your side facing away from your currently snoring boyfriend. Joe grumbles in his sleep and rolls over, moulding his body around yours and spooning you. You feel something poking you in your bum and smirk to yourself, wiggling your butt back against him.

"Hmm, you still awake?" Joe whispers, his voice rough with sleep and exhaustion, one of his hands running over your thigh.

"Mm, I didn't wake you up, did I?" You reply, shivering in delight as his lips graze your neck. You roll over to face him, and he moves your leg on top of his, moving your bodies closer together as he kisses you hard, his hands wandering around to your ass and squeezing it.

Oh.

You see where this is going.

"Are you sure you're up to this, Joe? You're exhausted." You say quietly, trying your best to control your breathing after you break away. Thanks to your busy schedules, it been at least two weeks since you'd last had sex. You snuck in whatever you could, but mostly it was just heavy make out sessions or occasionally a hand and/or blow job to help with Joe's anxiety levels. You were practically soaked already and he'd barely touched you.

"Never too tired for you," he mumbles, pecking your lips softly, and slowly lifting up the hem of your (his) shirt. "Off?"

You nod, and you both work together to rid you of the oversized shirt. "C'mere," he grunts, rolling you on top of him, his hands on your hips as he looks up at me.

"Lazy," you tease, your skin feeling like it's on fire as he runs his hands up your sides.

"Beautiful." He responds, giving you that little smile that makes your heart melt every time. It's a smile that only you get to see, and it's during your intimate moments like this that he smiles like that, and you fall in love with him all over again. You hum and lean down, kissing him passionately, your tongues dancing around each other. His hands return to your hips, pushing them down against his crotch as he lifts his hips up, and the friction and heat makes you both moan. You nibble on his bottom lip, which you know drives him crazy, before moving to kiss his jawline and neck, a somewhat external G-spot for him. "Fuck..."

"Well, if you want, I mean, I was just gonna suck you off and then take care of myself," you grin against his skin, and he responds by slapping your ass lightly. In return, you bite gently on his collarbone, and he grunts, the noise going straight in between your legs. "What do you want, Joe? Tell me."

"Wanna fuck you," he growls, turning his head and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently. "Wanna be inside you so bad, baby, please."

You whimper, nodding. Foreplay would have to wait for tonight.

You sit up and awkwardly peel off your underwear, throwing it somewhere in the room, deciding you'd find it in the morning. You gently palm Joe's cock through his boxers, making him grunt and moan your name loudly, before pulling them down his legs, and he kicks them off his feet. You take his cock into your hand, squeezing gently and stroking him a few times. "Please, baby, m'not gonna last long..." You'll let him off for that, it really has been forever since you last fucked. You reach across to the bedside table, grabbing a condom from your makeup bag (damn your birth control prescription running out before you'd realised) and tearing it open. He holds his hands out to put it on himself, but you slap them away, rolling it on him as slowly as possible, making him grit his teeth, grunt and buck his hips slightly.

Deciding to be a bit more of a tease, you hover above him for a few seconds, grinding down ever so slightly. He grips your hips so tight there will definitely be bruises in the morning, and he bites his lip, whimpering and cursing. You decide to let him off, because you want this just as much as he does, and you place the head of his cock at your dripping pussy, slowly sinking down onto him. He throws his head back and moans, a little too loudly, as do you. "God, I missed this...missed you."

"I missed you too," you sigh, placing your hands on his chest, giving yourself a bit of leverage before you start to move your hips. "Fuck, Joe, you feel so fucking good..." as much as you want this to last, you know it won't. You can already feel your orgasm growing as you grind down against him. He bucks his hips up, his cock brushing my g-spot. "Oh my god, Joe!"

"Fuck," he growls, his breathing heavy. "Faster, baby, please, I-" he cuts himself off with a moan as you obey. "Shit, fuck!"

"You're so loud," you giggle breathlessly, gasping as he places his thumb on your clit and rubs in time with your thrusts. "We're gonna get noise complai-AH, FUCK, JOE!"

"I'm the loud one, am I?" Fucking asshole.

"Shut up," You gasp, as he sits up, wrapping your legs around him and attaches his lips to your collarbone, sucking and biting as you move together. You can tell he's getting close from the way his breath is coming out in pants, and his moans are getting more desperate sounding. He rests his forehead against your shoulder, and you run your fingers through his curly hair, and he looks up at you.

"Kiss me," he whispers, and of course, you do. "M'getting close."

"Me too," you whisper back, and he reaches between you to stroke your clit. "Joe, I-"

"I know."

The room is filled with your moans, and heavy breathing as you both get closer and closer to the edge. Joe moves his hand and lies you down on the bed, so he's on top. He winks at you, and smirks as he puts your legs around his waist, and his hands either side of your head. He ducks down and kisses you softly before moving his hips, fucking you hard and fast, the way he knows you like it.

"Oh,my god Joe, I'm gonna cum!" You moan, digging your nails into his back.

"Do it, wanna feel you cum for me," he groans, and all it takes is him angling his hips just right, and you're coming, moaning his name probably way too loud, your whole body shaking. Joe curses and stills, pushing his cock inside you one last time as he cums into the condom, hard, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he whispers your name, telling you he loves you. You say it back, stroking his neck gently as he collapses on top of you, his head on your chest. "You're amazing."

"I think you'll find that's you, babe." You say breathlessly, grinning like a fool.

"I am pretty fucking good in bed, aren't I?" Joe grins, a teasing lilt to his voice.

"You always know what to say...so romantic," you roll your eyes, poking him in the tummy.

"Mhmm, you're very lucky. I mean, I even make sure you cum every single time we fuck, if that's not true love, I don't know what is." He pulls off the condom, tying it and throwing it into the bedside bin.

"Be still my beating heart!" You laugh and kiss the top of his head, rolling out from underneath him. He pouts, reaching out for you with grabby hands. "Joe, as much as I'd love to cuddle right now, I seriously need to shower after that. Wanna come with?"

"Depends, you might have to roll me, you've worn me out." he yawns, sitting up on the bed. "Besides, I already had a bath. Can't you just give me a sponge bath or something so I don't have to move?"

"Again, lazy. And I know you already showered, but if you think I'm cuddling with you when you smell like sweat and sex, you can fuck right off." You tease, grinning with your tongue poking between your teeth. You turn around, heading into the bathroom and turning on the shower. After waiting for the water to warm up, you step in, relishing the warmth cascading over you. A few minute later, you feel Joe's arms wrap around your waist and his body pressing up against yours. You stand in silence for a few moments, letting water fall down over you both. He then turns you around in his arms so you're facing him, your arms around his neck.

"Y'know, we could have just done it in here, that way we could be in bed right now." He says, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes. You run your fingers over the short hairs at the back of his neck as he leans his forehead against yours.

"Hey, I'm not the one who fell asleep before we'd even had a chance to do anything."

His face falls a little. "I'm sorry, I've been kind of a shitty boyfriend recently, haven't I?"

"What are you talking about?" You frown up at him, his beautiful brown eyes avoiding yours.

"Well, just with conventions and appearances and everything, and how busy we've been, I haven't had time to just...be with you, y'know?"

"Joe, we live together, we travel together, we're with each other every day almost-"

"That's not what I mean, we haven't been on a date in literally forever, I was at the con in Tokyo the entire day of our anniversary, and my dad was with us all day before that, for fucks sake!"

"Your dad is pretty much with us all the time, babe. It doesnt bother me, you know how much I love him. Turn around." You say, squirting some shampoo into your hand and massaging his scalp. He sighs.

"See, this is what I mean. You do all this nice stuff for me, like the back rubs, the food runs, the surprise blowies-"

"Which I do because I want to, not because I feel like I have to." You take the shower head off the wall and rinse his hair out, before running some conditioner through it. "I love you, and I know exactly what being with you entails. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I got salty about everything?"

"A normal one." Joe retorts, turning back around and gesturing for you to turn your back to him so he can wash your hair for you. "And I'm glad you're not, I just feel bad. You do everything for me and I can't even give you five minutes recently."

You don't respond, revelling in the feel of his fingers on your scalp, massaging in the shampoo. You hum appreciatively. He rinses out the shampoo and runs conditioner through your hair, making sure to cover every inch. "When we get home, I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Joe-"

"Please? We can go out and celebrate our anniversary properly, dinner, drinks, a movie, whatever you want."

You turn back around to face him. "What I want, is to stay in, order Chinese, shag and then fall asleep on the sofa with you. Joe you don't have to take me out, or buy me shit to make me feel like you love me. I know you love me, without all the materialistic crap, okay?"

He said nothing, instead he looked at you his eyes looking a little misty. He was an emotional mess tonight, but you couldn't really blame him. He blinked a couple of times, and kissed you on the nose.

"Turn around, you sap." He mumbled, giving you a small smile. He basically meant 'stop before you make me cry' in fewer words. You laughed softly, before turning back around so he could rinse your hair and his. Once you're clean, you step out and dry yourselves off, and you put on Joe's shirt again, this time pairing it with some pyjama shorts. You quickly dry my hair before getting back into bed, settling down with your head on his chest and his arms around you. "See, isn't this better than standing up and actually moving?"

"Mm," you sigh, already feeling your eyes getting heavy. "I miss our bed though."

"Me too, when we get home we are gonna spoon so fucking hard in bed for like a week." He mumbles into your hair.

"What about food and stuff?" You look up at him, raising an eyebrow. He laughs.

"Of all the things you're worried about, I love how food is at the top of that list. I fucking love you." He kisses the top of your head and switches off the bedside light. "Maybe we can persuade Wes to bring us breakfast in bed."

"Oh yeah, I can totally see him being okay with that," you laugh, my hand resting on Joe's stomach. "If anything, you owe me breakfast in bed after all these bloody photos I've taken of you. Know how hard it is to make you look good mid sentence?"

"Ouch, low blow, babe."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know I love looking at you, chocolate button eyes." You tease, laughing as he groans into his pillow.

"I need to learn to think before I divulge all this stuff. I'm never shaking that am I?"

"Never ever."

[leandra-winchester]

I'm wondering how there are people who think killing off Tommy would lead to Buddie. Like for one outside of Shannon the show hasn't killed off any other love interest to write them out of the show and two the show would get so much negative press for it. Like I do not take people seriously when the bring up Tommy dying or Buck cheating as a way to facilitate Buddie canon because it would not endear most of the audience to them as a ship (not to mention Oliver Stark specifically said he doesn't want to go down the queer trauma route here so like I don't get why some people cite these as possibilities)

Yeah, I don't even know man. Fanfic brainrot or something (not that there's anything wrong with fanfic, obviously, but when you consume so much of it and it being very specific to your very personal liking, and then can't separate the expectations you have for fic from those you have for the show).

And I guess in a way I maybe fell for it too, with my past expectations for Buddie canon, because, in hindsight, I'm not sure Buddie canon - especially now after so much time has passed - would have feasibly happened. Not just because of studio politics or limitations on how many canon queer characters you can have among the main cast, but simply because you cannot believably pull off a mutual pining/slowburn romance in an ensemble show.

Buddie would only have worked if Eddie had taken some time to unravel all that repression, bit by bit, and we would have to see it, and that would have taken up too much room and time in a show that has a pretty big main cast.

It might have worked at the end of s5 when he went to therapy and all that, planting some seeds there and then fully following up on it in s6, but now? AFTER the whole Marisol and Shannon/Kim stuff? It would take A LOT to sell it not just to the general audience but, frankly, to people like me as well.

So I dunno, but I'm pretty convinced it's never going to happen. Both Oliver and Ryan have said/hinted that they wouldn't want it to happen purely as fan service; it would have to really make sense and be true to the characters and their journeys, and I agree.

But the BoBs don't listen; they take fragments of sentences and interpret them to fit their own agenda.

And then some of the most unhinged ones of them go and think killing off a love interest is one way to get there. And a lot of those comments or tags didn't read like purely 'jokes' either; there was sheer vitriol and hatred behind them. Which has very little to do with genuine or in any way valid outrage at the 'daddy kink' joke, but everything to do with someone getting in their way of their ship, and this time being an actual threat.

With female love interests, you could always write that off as the show being cowardly about it and not daring to make any of them queer. But now we have that queer representation, Buck is officially bi, and has a boyfriend with whom things are getting really serious, really fast.

And I get being sad and disappointed about Buddie not happening, but the amount of toxicity that has been directed at a) other fans b) the fictional characters and c) the actors/writers involved is ridiculous. This is a fucking TV show, after all. It's not real life, it's not politics or activism. It's just fiction (that gives us an unusual amount of queer rep for a mainstream network TV show!). If it doesn't spark joy, take a step back, stop watching, read and write fic, but don't be a toxic asshole about it.

[zeegaazeegaah]

could you maybe do something with gavi where youre dating but youre a famous model whos known for having lots of bfs and being a party girl and he gets a bit insecure because all the media are saying your cheating on him, but you assure him hes enough and you go to an event together looking really cute and its just fluff,, sorry if its long 😭♥️

fame; gavi

word count: 2,305

a/n: There might be parts or sentences that might offend you. Please take them with a grain of salt. They are for the plot to make sense. Remember, this is all purely fiction. You're reading fan fiction.

It would be a blatant lie to say there are no pros to being -what today's society considers- beautiful because her beauty has gotten her this far. From being a mere teenager some years ago, she went on to being one of the top models in the world doing endless shows, endorsing brands one after another, and being in advertisements. Her beauty allowed her to pay her parents back for the support they've always given her, it allowed her to buy them a luxurious house, dress them in luxurious clothing, it allowed her siblings to buy cars, and live in nice apartments with their partners.

Now here's the problem. Men want her. Women do as well but it's not the same. One would stalk you, and be so obsessed with you to the point you have to think of implementing restraining orders against them while the other, wouldn't even think of reaching such lengths. Even if they do, it can't be as scary. Being a woman this successful at her young age has equal, if not more, cons than pros. One glance at someone at a private party of some multi-millionaire and they think you're in love with them. Of course, they would, not just anybody attends these parties. With the amount of money they have, their entire personality is based on that which allows them to delude themselves into thinking anybody wants them while completely forgetting the fact that she is an independent woman who has just as much money as them.

She is not as easy as the media portrays her to be. Surely a grown woman like her would pursue someone who interests her, especially, when she can have whoever she wants but that doesn't mean she dates everyone she lies her eyes upon just for the heck of it. When you're a woman who is pretty and rich and successful, doesn't want people to deem her as beauty with no brains. People are bound to hate you. Even women. You'll hear from TV the countless men she 'broke the hearts of', them claiming she is a succubus who seduced them but is it truly what happens?

She doesn't have time for that. To be frank, she rarely has time for herself, let alone men, which leads to unfortunate short-lasting relationships with each man. And men being men, they would spread lies about her to the media for attention. She just lets them. They are jealous that she does not feel hung up on them after the breakup. They are jealous that she moves on just as quickly as they do. Truthfully, almost every man she has dated thought of her as a prize to win, to possess, and once they got her, they no longer treated her as nicely, no longer treated her as an equal. The lack of respect became evident and it was crystal clear they'd continue to think she is some dumb pretty girl who earned easy money.

Her friends? There are no real friends when you are self-made rich, especially in this industry. Her ex-colleagues hate her, wondering how long her career will last since they want her to fall from grace the way they did. Yet, they still keep tabs on her, whisper fake compliments to her ears, and be on her nice side just in case they need her for a favour one day. Whatever friends she has for the time being are her managers, public relations team, personal makeup artists, and stylists who would leave her just as fast as they appeared her my life. They would move on to work for someone who would benefit them whenever. Wherever she goes, people would talk behind her back, and more often than not it's never something nice.

She got lonely. Throwing countless parties every time she got a bit of time for herself only to have more people have things to gossip about, and more lies to tell the media. More 'friends' going behind her back and posting countless pictures of the parties That's how many people know her. A successful top model, a player, and a party girl.

She met Gavi at an after-party of the brand of a product they both endorsed for. They needed to interact for the sake of working for the same brand but she tried her best to avoid him. Engaging in small talk only, in case people start to talk about how she targeted a football athlete to lure this time. She needed none of that drama. However, she has enjoyed football all her life and watched matches whenever she could. Nobody needed to know that, she didn't need people around her to go, "Oh, so you like football? Name-" Thus she already knew how Gavi plays and how well he does so. The second time they met was after her PR team suggested it would be good for her image to go watch Barcelona FC's match live as they both became colleagues recently. She was already impressed by his skills but after she got to watch it live, she was beyond impressed.

After the match, this time, however, the small talk was avoided. She was way too enthusiastic to prevent herself from spilling compliments laced with deep football knowledge on their team's performance which received positive responses but a quite remarkable expression from the said colleague. While she was leaving, he followed behind, which he must've been told by someone to do out of politeness.

"So, what was that reaction?" She stopped and raised a brow at him.

A flush appeared on his face before he blinked rapidly to reply, "I-I wasn't expecting you to-"

"-know about football?"

He aggressively shook his head, eyes widening, "No! I wasn't expecting you to miss out on your schedules to watch our game."

"How do you know that?" She cornered him.

"You're famous. How would I not know? We were told about it." He gulped.

"Is that so?" An amused smile appeared on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Or did you search me?"

He finally looked her in the eye properly, "Do you do that to everyone?"

There you go. She lets out an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes while doing so, "Of course, you'd think that. Just like everyone."

"I don't know what you mean by that but I am having a hard time here being teased by one of the prettiest women ever so, you should have mercy on me." His face morphed into a flirtatious expression which surprised her.

Her mouth widened before she sent a smile at him, "Dear, don't you worry. It's nothing harmful. Plus, you're a kid."

"I'm eighteen and you're older than me by barely two or three years. Who are you calling kid?"

"Woah, how do I formally apologise then?"

"You can start by befriending me."

And indeed, they were friends. In fact, Gavi was the closest and most real friend she has ever had. Him being around her age helped a lot. Their sense of humour matched. He wasn't rude or disrespectful, he'd always listen. He wouldn't hesitate to voice out exactly what he thought about something and she did the same. She listened to him vent when he wasn't performing well despite trying his best. She listened to him voice out his frustration, she tried her best to understand him and be there for him whenever he rang. Gradually they began to find time for themselves to hang out and with her experience, they sneaked out successfully without getting caught. Away from the cameras, away from the stares.

And then, they became more than friends.

×××

If anyone took a peek at Gavi's mind they'd probably laugh at how ridiculous the new information would be to them. Gavi? Spain's youngest player? The youngest player in his country to score a goal in the world cup? Someone so successful at his young age is insecure? What for?

His eyes trail across the dark room with colourful flashes of light and lands on his girlfriend. The woman wanted by everyone. He sees some men hit on her only to be met with a tight-lipped smile that politely told them to back off. In order to maintain a peaceful relationship, they keep it a secret from the world, from the scrutiny of people, and from the unsolicited comments of journalists that could sabotage it and disrupt their peace. It's certainly much better this way but it also has its cons as one can see.

Gavi clenches his jaw with a pointed stare at other men approaching her and engaging in conversations. Her gown is black with a slit that starts from the top of her right thigh. She looks absolutely gorgeous. Not only in his eyes but in everyone's as well. He notices one of the men give her a once-over, making sure to check her out before he has to leave her be. One can tell his veins are pulsing as he clenches his jaw harder and begins to breathe noisily. Her eyes finally catch his across the room, his breath almost hitches at the sight of her subtle smile for him but his head is too preoccupied with other emotions at the moment.

As she begins to approach him, he stalks away towards the exit's direction and informs his manager that he isn't going to stay in this event any longer. He drives off to his house in his car without her, it's not like they can get into one car in front of people anyway. Not long after she arrives. Her eyebrows are drawn together in concern as she tilts her head to look him in the eye, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Babe, are you okay?"

It's as if her touch has magic, all of his anger dissipates in an instant. He feels vulnerable. He tries to look back into her eyes, only to fail to do so as he ducks his chin. The look of concern doesn't leave her face as she notices that. Her hands begin to rub his shoulders as she whispers, "Will you tell me what was that at the event? You seemed angry."

Now he feels like a complete jerk. He seemed to be angry at her when in fact it wasn't the case. He feels stupid for walking away from her and driving off without letting her know like an immature person. She doesn't deserve this. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before heaving it. Opening his eyes to look into hers, he mumbles a sorry quietly.

She frowns at that before grabbing his hands to make him sit on the sofa behind them and settles beside him. Her hands reach to hold his face, her fingers softly trailing from the apples of his cheek to his chin. "Don't be sorry. There must be a reason you're angry. I've never actually seen you angry so it's worrying me."

"It's just that," he rakes a hand into his hair, sighing. "the way they look at you made me so angry. I couldn't do anything on top of that. Everyone wants you but then again you told me about how you were treated in your previous relationships so that makes me angrier."

She gets up to sit on his lap and wraps an arm around his neck, the other hand holding his chin. "That makes a lot of sense. I hope you realise that your feelings are valid. I can see why you are angry or frustrated or whatever you're feeling right now. Okay?"

He nods his head in response.

She leans closer, her face merely an inch or two away from his. Tilting his chin with her hand, she looks directly at him, "Next time you're mad, just ring me and let it out. Say what you gotta say. I will do the same. Do you get it?"

He lets out a chuckle at that before grabbing her face in his hands and pulls her head towards him to engulf her lips with his into a kiss. She giggles at first but it transpires into them making out for some time before she breaks off to land a peck on his forehead.

"Will you keep playing my knight in shining armour this way for a long time?" He pretends to think while asking that.

"Toxic masculinity…" she huffs while rolling her eyes.

His eyebrows shoot up at the accusation. "I only called you that as a compliment."

"Sounded like a mockery to me." She accuses him yet again, narrowing her eyes playfully at him.

This time he rolls his eyes before a sarcastic smile takes over, "I was a minute away from crying into your shoulders. Is that toxic masculinity?"

She laughs at that before muttering, "Well, seeing you cry would've been a sight to behold though."

"What!?"

×××

They fall asleep cuddling, after watching an old action movie to laugh at the CGI. Gavi wakes up first and spends a good amount of time staring at her sleeping face, finding it adorable. There is an embarrassing lovestruck look on his face that he prefers to keep secret from her.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." She mumbles from her sleep to which he jumps away.

"You scared me." He clutches his chest with widened eyes. "Since when have you been awake!?"

"Long enough to know you're a creep." She smirks, her eyes still closed.

"Oh, is that so?"

"I don't like that tone of yours, Pablo." She says before opening one eye to check what he is up to, only to see his hands reach for his neck. "Omg, you're not doing that. You know how ticklish I am there, I'll kill you."

"Too late."

"You're so- O MY GOD- done when I catch you."

[emblemxeno]

I think part of the issue is that people don't want to engage with a work's politics because doing so brings an element of reality and makes them realize the work or character they're enjoying may have questionable themes and messages. And because people view video games as a means of escapism, they want to indulge in that escapism while also wanting to make sure they come across as a "progressive ally" i.e they want to have their cake and eat it too.

Bingo! It comes close to cognitive dissonance, tbh.

And I'm not one of those types who's like "your taste in fiction must reflect your real life morals" because I wouldn't be a fan of anything then. But it disturbs me that people can be so progressive in irl views but when confronted with the same issues in a fictional work-said issues usually made more consumable and simple-they suddenly... side with the oppressive figure.

Like... colonialism, nationalism, and imperialism are pretty fucking universally bad, no matter what a cute anime character says to the contrary. They do not "have a point" they are written to be seen as intelligent and charismatic since crazy, oppressive rulers/leaders have to be in order to manipulate and recruit people to ascend to power; that includes lying and half truths spun into propaganda. Otherwise, they'd be written off as the evil weirdos they are.

Unfortunately, sometimes even the writers themselves become infatuated with their characters that they try to include excuses and offhand comments in the text to excuse them, even when it'd be nonsensical in context.

...Yes I'm still bitter that 3H's writers had Seteth compliment Edelgard on something when she's responsible for both his daughter and his sister being kidnapped and tortured, why do you ask.