#read it if you havent already its got queer people (real)

[fl4kf4n]

Another old post... this is a badly formatted comic but I wanted to finish it so it wouldn't stay a coloured sketch anymore :0

[imagineitdearies]

Hello! Just finished PS. I cannot praise you enough. Its easily the best thing ive read this year, and my resolution was to read multiple books a month. You surpass ALL OF THEM!

Saw ur authors note at the end abt an original queer vamp novel- is there anymore info yet? Im sure you've got ppl begging already but id truly love to beta when the time comes- or be first in line to preorder.

I feel like i read this at exactly the right time of my life.

The story was so painful yet rewarding bc i see so much of myself in Tyrus. Astarion and Tyrus truly feel like two different exstensions of my healing self. I wont go into it, but im a survivor to. Like tyrus, it happened when i was a young. Seeing his transformation throughout his decade of enslavement, his hatred towards himslef and the world, all bc of one man hit home. I kept telling myself that if it didnt have a happy ending id have to burn my phone or smthn lol. Seeing Astarion amd Tyrus not just defeat Cazador, but do it together, do it solely through their love of one another, broke me. The power of love, hope, and goodness. I havent cried over a fanfic since middle school. Im in my 20s now. I adored the final 2 chapters of the aftermath- im so grateful we got to meet his sister! And with Halsin, no less!

Im so thrilled you'll be adding oneshots and other stories to the universe. Tyrus is so real, so alive, id hate to see him contained in one story.

I love how Tyrus, ultimately, changeed. He didnt change into a monster like he feared, but what happened to him did changed him. Thats not a bad thing, tho. He's still Tyrus, simply a new version. And im still me, simply a new version.

I dont know if ill ever be able to reread, even skimming over the rougher parts was hard, but im so grateful i was able to see Tyrus and Astarion's journey. All of their triumphs felt like mine, all of their failures. Their never wavering love and trust in one another, that they understood it was Cazador that made them do those bad things. Ur right, pain and love must be intertwined, which is why this fic was so amazing. The highs would have never felt so spectaular without the lowest of lows.

Im rambling, i apologize. I do hope you read this, even if you dont respond. I hope my thanks and praise can give u something in return for what you've given me.

If you've made it this far, have you made any content on ur process? Ur planning? The flow was amazing, ur description, the flashbacks- did you go to school for writing? As a writer myself im almsot jealous at ur talent- but mostly curious :) id love to know anything you're willing to share.

Again, thank you. This was a gift, you know. I wont forget it.

Hi turtleurtle!! Great to see you over here, thank you so much for your kind words 🩵🩵 it means a lot any time I hear people enjoyed PS as much/more than published fiction!!

Speaking of, yes, since you ask I do have a little more to say now on my original story. I took a small writing break for a week or so but have now jumped back into the saddle for the next adventure! Lots of plotting, character creation, worldbuilding, and research happening right now.

Reuben, our first main POV, is almost fully fleshed out as a character and I’m so excited for you all to meet him (he’s an eloquence bard, for starters)!! The first book/part is almost fully outlined and I’ve written the first few pages. I’m really starting to get inspired by where the storyline is going.

Back to PS though—I’m so glad you felt seen with Tyrus’s character. He did inevitably change, but by the end he is (mostly) at peace with that and can still forge a good life and happy relationships. Meeting Cynda again was that last little piece of hope he needed to believe it 🥹

Haha the light does always seem brighter when you’re stuck in pitch darkness! On the other hand, it’s something Tyrus only thinks once, but I would argue love is not intertwined with pain more than anything else. Pain is just an inevitability. No matter what you do, you will experience discomfort, sorrow, loss, physical suffering (see Cazador, with absolutely zero love in his life). While love is not inevitable, it’s a choice. Love is a gift we choose to give and to receive in the midst of inevitable suffering and that is why it is so precious. Having that perspective has really helped me heal and have more hope for the future 🩵

Haha never apologize for rambling about PS! This thing has consumed my soul for the last 8 months so I love the chance to hear from/converse with people especially now that the full story is posted and all is revealed. Honestly wish I could sit down with you all and just discuss everything!! But seriously thank you for this message.

As for my writing, here’s a few writing advice asks I've answered, but i haven’t gotten too in-depth on my chaotic process yet. I will say long walks talking to myself, bullet lists, and brackets are my personal recipe for success (besides just writing for years and years) 😂 I did take a lot of classes in school too! If people have specific questions, I’m happy to give my best go at an answer.

Thanks so much 🥰

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

[mayabruhbruh]

Stranger Things 4 Analysis and Theory

I don’t know if anyone else has done posts on this stuff yet (it’s really likely, but i’d not want to take the credit if i’m not the only one who’s thought of this)

I know @kaypeace21 has made tons of posts on the s4 movies from Video Store Friday, and many others have theories and analyses, but back in July I took it upon myself to research more into the very last few scenes of s3. Specifically the three months later time stamp, where Steve and Robin are in search for a new job.

My main focus was the four movies that they mentioned for Keith at the counter. “Animal House”, “The Hidden Fortress”, “Children Of Paradise”, and “The Apartment”.

(reminder that if you read this, it could be spoilers for the final cut of the actual show if i end up being correct about some of this, so read at your own risk)

My first theory, which I’ve already discussed in a separate reblog, is about The Hellfire Club. But i’ll say it here too.

Basically,

(sorry for the sucky quality)

Animal House is about two awkward freshmen going into college and joining a fraternity of rejects. It matches Mike, Dustin and the Hellfire Club perfectly! Personally, my lowkey theory is that they’re going to have to go though an entirety of initiation activities (possibly drugs too, if what we’ve heard is correct) and Lucas and Max will be in their own storylines up until the supernatural threat brings them back together again. This could be wayy off, but still its my idea.

As for Max and Lucas...

I’m not sure about the entirety of the plot of this movie, but the last line sounds a lot like something that would happen between Lumax. Lucas is a basketball jock now, I think that’s crystal clear now seeing from the Pep Rally poster, and how he’s always been the one in the group to be able to mask his nerdy side. For Dustin and Mike, I know it’s much harder for them. Anyways, Max, I’m pretty positive by now, is going to be extremely distant and defensive from everyone just like she was in the beginning of s2, since she just had a big change happening in her life. It’s the same now, except with the grief and loss of Billy. My guess, from the hints of this movie and other stuff, is that Lucas is going to come face to face with his reputation as a popular kid, and his love for Max. Like the summary says, he must decide between the advancement of his career or the girl that he loves. Real hard hitting stuff.

Onto the next one. MIKE WHEELER. (or will byers)

I watched an analysis video on this movie, because I haven’t seen it yet, but again the very last line is what I’d like to focus on.

My. Jaw. Dropped.

I’ve read many analyses of Mike Wheeler being gay (courtesy of @kaypeace21 @hawkinsschoolcounselor and MANY others), but I dunno, I was always just so skeptical no matter how much it made sense. But when I saw this WHAT THE HELL?!?’);/&? It’s stupid of me to not have believed it sooner, but I hope this is the movie that foreshadows Mike’s storyline this season. I’m assuming Mike will have to “prove his expertise in battle”, or perhaps prove he can go through with all of the initiation shit for The Hellfire Club, while hiding his growing revelation that he might be gay/bisexual.

BUT a possibly more likely scenario would be that this movie connects with Will Byers’ storyline this season instead. Perhaps the hardships of a new school and a new town has Will shaken up, and he also has his sexuality awakening that he has to hide from new people. I say that it’s more likely for him, because Will has always been more heavily queer-coded (not exactly heavier, but just extremely much more apparent and obvious opposed to Mikes queercoded subtext that we really had to dig for).

I also didn’t mention this in my reblog from earlier, but I want to address my opinions on the apparent cheerleader that meets Mike and befriends one another. One of my friends on twitter said Chrissy (her name, or so we think lmao) might be a key component to Mike being able to discover and come to terms with his sexuality. But then again, a different friend of mine thinks that the amount of content were getting is oddly suspicious, and that the Duffers are feeding us all the wrong information to lead us to all the wrong conclusions. But, at this point, why not both. At the moment, everyone thinks that Chrissy is Mikes new love interest, but what if she really isn’t, and they’re pulling a Robin on us (i call it a robin because it was technically straight-baiting in s3 LMFAO). I’m not saying that she might be a lesbian (although 👀 it says on her character info that she’s 18 (robins got some game to work with now ahaha)) but it could be a straight-bait up until she helps Mike realize his sexuality (i would have said realizes his love for Will😍😍 but recently ive been trying not to input byler into everything i fucking say, so theres how that’s going). Anyways. Last movie!

Now, I’m currently not super concrete on this one to be completely honest. I have a few in mind...

Okay, so don’t attack me, but this could possibly be a mileven storyline. It sort of fits. They have an undeniable connection, but “their fortunes shift considerably and they’re pushed apart” aka the misfortune of the mindflayer and hawkins not being safe for them leads them to moving away and literally being pushed apart. I don’t know about the pursuing other relationships, but we still have no idea what’s going on with El Hopper tbh, i havent a single clue what’s going to be happening with her storyline atm. But either way, that could be it.

ORRRR the MUCH more likely scenario, Jancy :)

Bloggers on here have already predicted that they wouldn’t be endgame, and I was only slightly skeptical because although their relationship was built on shared trauma, a very unstable foundation to have for a ship tbh, i still hung onto the fact that they cared for eachother a lot :,( But the entirety of their season 3 bickering and this summary kind of sealed the deal.

Just like Mike and El, Nancy and Jonathan have been pushed apart aswell. It was already seen in season three that they’d be better of leading separate lives, aka Jonathan was doing fine at the internship, whereas Nancy could have been somewhere better for herself. I doubt they broke up at the end of season 3, but there’s bound to be new relationships for them seperately. It sucks bc I love Jancy, but s3 showed how badly they snap at one another when there isn’t a life threatening event at hand. Jopper on the other hand, I thought their bickering was adorable, but i’m getting off track, sorry lmfaoo.

Once again, I probably am not the first to talk about these, but jsyk if you steal this from me specifically i will track you down and end you. I’ve been speculating about these things since April and July, which is pretty weak tbh, but that was when i had nothing better to do LMFAO. i hope i got at least something right, but i haven’t seen many of the video store friday’s movies, which sucks bc those could really help. But whatever.

(i wrote this really late at night, and it’s poorly edited bc my eyesight sucks lmfao, but i hope you get what i mean)

And that’s it! I hope you like it, or had some sort of impact from it idk, just sharing my thoughts tbh. Anygays, if you have any questions/added ideas/thoughts of any kind, my inbox is always here, you can private message me, and comment if you want!! i love y’all sm lmfao, so excited for the upcoming content were about to get soon, byee!

[colesartandbooksandstuff]

My Auto-Buy Authors

I wanted to make a quick short post about authors that I will automatically buy any books that they publish. I had seen this a little bit around bookstagram and thought I’d give it a shot. 

1- Leigh Bardugo: If King of Scars is as good or better than Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone, there is a very good shot that she will be my favorite author. I have given every of her books 5 stars (the only other two authors with that achievement being Angie Thomas and Holly Black). I am currently finishing Ruin and Rising, and King of Scars is a few down on my TBR. Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom are #4 and #3 of my favorite books of all time. (Desperately holding out for both Six of Crows 3 and Alex Stern 2) *I have rewatched the character trailer for Shadow and Bone on Netflix far too many times- I need that show NOW!

2- Karen M. McManus: My second favorite movie is The Breakfast Club, so when I saw One of Us is Lying for sale, it really could have been hit or miss. I finished it in 2 (very late) nights. Since then I’ve gotten each of her books as soon as I could, and absolutely can not wait until she interprets Ferris Bueler’s Day Off next fall. *Also One of Us is Lying is going to air on Peacock and I will be first in line to stream it. 

3- Becky Albertalli: Simon vs was one of the first books that got me back into reading, with Leah on The Offbeat really drawing me back in. What if Its Us broke my heart and made me want a start dating. Yes, No, Maybe so got me thrown into politics more so than I already was. I love all of her books (I haven’t read Upside yet, but after that I’ll be caught up). She seems like such a genuine author and that trait is found in her characters. We need more books with queer characters and happy endings and for that reason I will always support her. 

4- Angie Thomas: I was LATE to the game on The Hate U Give. When I say late, I mean that I didn’t read it until this summer (I know- it was always checked out of the library and hardcovers are expensive). I picked it and On the Come Up off of book outlet and oh my god was I kicking myself for waiting so long. I will be reading Concrete Rose as soon as I get the chance; straight to the top of the TBR. I would love to see her write a romance with Becky or Adam Silvera, since theyre friends in real life. Similar to Becky, we need more diverse stories and the best way to increase the number of them is to prove to publishers that readers need them too.

5- Cassandra Clare: The Shadowhunter Chronicles is my favorite series. I’ve read them all, including the short stories and spin off series. I know that some people don’t like that there are so many books, but I do. I miss the OG crew (Clary, Izzy, Simon, Jace, and Alec) but the new characters are nice too. That being said, I can’t wait for Sword Catcher to come out and hope that it is even better than TSC.

*Honorable Mentions:

-Sarah J Maas: I’ve only read Crescent City (loved it) and Catwoman, but all 4 ACOTAR books are on my night stand. I’m have 4.5 books to finish before then (I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW), but then I’ll finally start. Once I finish those I’ll get to Throne of Glass (which I do want to read, but to be honest, it likely won’t be until the middle/late summer that I get to start). I’ve heard good things and liked what I read, so I’m sure that once I read some more, its a safe bet that she’ll be one of my auto-buys

-Adam Silvera: I have read all of Adam’s books except for History is all you left me (on my night stand) and More Happy Than Not. I loved What If It’s Us, liked TBDaTE, wasn’t in love with Infinity Son, but I want to give it another shot. Odds are, if he publishes something, I’ll pick it up. I know that it will have diverse characters, but I don’t know if I’ll love it.

-Casey McQuiston: Red, White, and Royal Blue is my second favorite book of all time. It is the reason that I am taking a poli-sci minor and that in turn lead to me wanting to go to law school. It made me want to write my own queer love story (in progress- barely). However, she has only released one book. I will be picking up her sophomore novel (One Last Stop- 6/1/20) as soon as I can get my hands on it, but I can’t say that I’ll pick up everything without her repeatedly releasing books I love. 

*Queer Books: I’m bi, and I worked at a bookstore for over a year. I own most of the queer books that we sold, 1) because I want books I can relate to, and 2) because I feel obligated to support those authors and those stories. That is where I end up with books like “We Contain Multitudes” and “Call Me by Your Name” on my shelves. I hated WCM. I think that it was damaging to the community, it glamorized statutory rape and abuse, it was low quality writing, (my whole review is on my blog). I got rid of it after I read it. I will likely buy a book because it has a queer storyline, but that doesn’t mean that I will keep it. I have a bunch of queer books on my tbr and my shelves that I havent gotten to, but i’ll type them out for recs: Only Mostly Devastated, Fell of Dark, Stay Gold, Late to the Party, Damaged like Us. These are all books that I haven’t gotten around to reviewing, but hopefully will eventually

[weedhorse69]

- ̗̀8 people to know better ̖́-

gay rights!!! i was tagged by @mirukuyu (my wife) and @helpfuldilemma (my brother) and im evil but not evil enough to not say thank you so thank you!!! 

name: Thalia

birthday: january 1

zodiac: capricorn

hobbies: watching videos ive saved, browsing my later tag on tumblr, watching chemistry youtube videos in an attempt to teach myself organic chemistry, reading over old textbooks, and writing (ive been writing another self insert fanfic for my friend ximena where she dates Snape) 

favorite color: cyan, cerulean, turquoise, blue-green - just that range 

height: 5′3″ lol 

favorite book: i still love the artemis fowl series and i recommend u guys read the book.  let the right one in was a banger too.  the one i have been rereading lately is hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy 

last song i listened to: Lazy Mary Jane by Yeseo 

last movie i watched: in theatres? once upon a time in hollywood and it was surprisingly good! it wasnt as corny as i thought it would be at all.  it’s about the charles manson murders.  

inspiration or muse: honestly my friends.  whoever is my favorite person at the time will deeply influence what i do and what i try to learn.  its because of kathleen and marco that i started to mess around with learning korean, though i never got too far into it.  its because of Austin that i learned how to skateboard and started learning how to play the guitar.  its because of maddy that i studied japanese.  its because of lauren that i wrote that fanfic filled with meat puns.  its because of lauren and michelle that i compiled that shitty document with a description of the homestuck classes and aspects.  its because of michelle that i took computer science and started getting into technical stuff.  its because of joana that i travelled to germany and started giving more of an eye to romantic stories.  its because of ximena that im actually trying to write a decent one for once.  but mostly they manipulate what i write.  usually you will see my favorite people in the characters.  

the other muse is usually just whatever i think would be the most outlandish thing to do at the time

dream job: having the freedom to do whatever the hell i want.  right now im an intern at a lab working for the government.  i was about to say the name and then i was like alskfjlsdfj i dont want this blog to be tracked or red-lighted or anything.  i have paranoia the size of manhattan.  and i realize now it sounds like im lying sxnksnsknxknksnsknxkn.  whatever.  but yeah working on nukes is dope af but i wanna have the knowledge to heal too.  already ive been learning a lot just from studying for the mcat.  i didn’t know penicillin was a good antibiotic against syphilis! i didn’t even know syphilis was caused by bacteria! 

meaning of url: i was weedhorse69. that url came from a post i saw where some dude was like “weedhorse69 is more likely to be a real person” so i was like “thas me now.”  i changed it to queer for pride month and i havent changed it back since.

i tag: @thetaabster1​ (im so glad shes back.  shes literally one of the funniest people on tumblr im sobbing)  @officiallyallmight @dykeamatic @jeangreyce @casperillion @brekf1st @taketheringtolohac @nymphofnovels

[ronniehas-nomuffins]

All of the above? 🌟

ohhh my god alpha fuihfisdhfsd

📸answers under the cut📸

1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?pansexual!! pronouns are whatever you feel like, im still figuring that out i guess

2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?i dont really know!! im actually pretty sure i always knew i was into guys, gals, and everything in between ever since i was really little, despite not being educated on it like. at all lmao. i was a wacko curious little child

3.Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?im not trans, so im not sure if this question applies to me! just to be safe, i wont answer it

4. Who was the first person you told, how did they react?i… actually dont remember the first person i told??? i think i just realized i was Not StraightTM and then told lots of people at the same time lmao

5. Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?coming out to my family?? i wasnt as stressed about it, but i was still a tiiiiny bit nervous. theyre really accepting when it comes to lgbtq though! so its all good

6 has already been answered!

7. What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?“im pansexual!”“whats that? is it like *insert joke about frying pans*”

8. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.its either a sweater + overalls or a tshirt with some pants (also this is a boots/converse household only people)

9. Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?all of the oc’s i ship together 

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?makeup doesnt really mean anything to me!! i dont wear it and idk how to lmao. other people look pretty in it tho

11. Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?i do not experience dysphoria!

12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?any comment that goes along the lines of “*insert certain sexuality/gender* isnt real, you guys just want attention 😤😤😤”

13. What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?theres other people!!!! who are just like me!!!!

14. What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?the fact that theres still discrimination!! WITHIN the lgbtq community!!! like queer transphobes, aphobes, and gatekeepers, etc… we’re supposed to be united people cmon now

15 and 16 have already been answered!

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?ive been in a few, met most of em through school and one on a server (just a warning, dont enter a relationship with me because i still need to figure myself out a bit lmaooo)

18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book?havent read any!

19. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?i dont remember anything like that happening to me!!

20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?so far ive only seen love simon so… love simon!!!

21. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?thomas sanders (again lmao),, macdoesit,,,, uhhh and thats all i can think of rn

22. Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?does queer still cant?? if not then we need to reclaim fag/got yall 

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?i have gone to none of the above unfortunately!

24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?my gender is whatever is easy for anyone else!! im still figuring it out and its one of the least important things on my mind lmao

25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?i actually kinda am!! i wanna be the parent my parents WISH they were

26. What identity advice would you give your younger self?dont worry so much on love and who you think you love and focus on being a kiddo!

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?booooooooooooo gender roles???? more like gender NO’S

28. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?gender is whatever the fuck you want it to be. thank u

29. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?its… hard yall. we’re not “shoving it in your face” and we’re not “cringey xddd” okay?? we’re people who arent like you and thats okay

30. Why are you proud to be lgbt+?if im not proud of who i am, then who will be?

[thesffcorner]

February Wrap Up

Despite being the shortest month of the year, I read 7 books and 10 graphic novels, or 17 things in total. It was also another month where I read a lot of diverse genres: I read 10 contemporaries, 4 of which were thriller/mysteries, and 6 of which were romance; 4 sci-fi, 1 speculative historical romance, 1 fantasy romance and 1 historical fantasy. Instead of doing highest to lowest, since I have so many graphic novels and some are part of the same series, I decided to group them by the date read, so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Fence vol. 1-3 by C S Pacat and Joanna the Mad (3, 4, 3 stars)

I wanted to read this series for a while, and I finally binged it this February. Fence follows Nicholas, a young fencer with a complicated past and poor background who comes to Kings Row, a school with the fourth best fencing programs in the country. There, to his shock he finds Senji, a junior champion with Olympic aspirations; and the two can’t stand each-other.

This series is just a whole lot of fun. It’s written like a Western style sports anime/manga, and Joanna the Mad’s artstyle is very reminiscent of manga, with lots of action line, pretty boys and expressive, large eyes. The first volume is a fine set up of Nicholas’ first confrontation with Senj, and arriving at the school, while the second and third volume deal with the qualifications at the school for who will make the fencing team. As Nick is on an athletic scholarship, he has to qualify or he gets kicked out, but like many of these series go, he has some stiff competition, and develops friendships with said competition.

I really enjoyed the dynamic between all the characters, especially Senji and Nicholas, and if you’re a fan of sports anime, cute queer comics, or painfully slow-burn enemies to lovers stories, check this out.

Check, Please! Year 3 by Ngozi Ukazu (4 stars)

The first thing I read in February was the third volume of Check, Please! This was as cute as the previous 2 volumes, as it follows Bittie’s third year in college. What struck out to me upon rereading this specific year, is that it actually has way more angst and conflict than I remember it having; there’s a lot here about Bittie and Jack coming to terms with not just their long distance relationship, but also coming out and finding acceptance within the confines of a major sports league like the NHL. It also deals a lot with Bittie coming to terms with the hockey team changing as Ransom, Holster and Lardo graduate. Overall, a good continuation of the story.

Deadly Class vol 1-2 by Rick Remender and Wes Craig (3, 2, 2 stars)

Deadly Class is a series that if I had started reading when I was in late high school, early college, I know I would have loved. However now, as an adult, I find it grating, pretentious, and far too extreme for no real reason. The story aspects that I liked the most, I’ve also already seen or read in far better works; it doesn’t help that up to volume 3, there are only 2 characters left that I remotely care about, and one of them just got introduced in that volume.

The series follows a group of kids who go to an elite training school for assassins. We mostly follow Marcus, the son of a Nicaraguan expats, who ends up at the school after he meets Saya and a few of the other students during a stick up. Though the first volume started out promising, volumes 2 and 3 kept getting less and less good, and unless something drastically changes in my life, I can’t see myself continuing on with this series.

Contagion by Erin Bowman (3 stars)

This is a sci-fi book set in the near-distant future, and it follows the crew of Odyssey, a research vessel that is sent to Black Quarry to investigate a distress signal. Once there, the crew realizes that something bad has happened, as they find bodies and a potentially deadly thing haunting them; and the mysterious ‘young boy’ the engineer of Black Quarry warns them about is not making matters any easier.

This was a rather mediocre sci-fi, but I still enjoyed it. As it’s part of a duology I will definitely be finishing the story out, but as is it doesn’t do too much with this well-tread premise. Bowman does have a good grasp on action and suspense, but a lot of the character decisions in the novel were akin to ones characters in Blumhouse horrors make, and considering most of them are some form of scientists, that wasn’t an ideal route to take. Still if you enjoy stories about aliens, sentient viruses, isolated space incidents and horror, it’s worth checking out.

Prince Charming by Rachel Hawkins (4 stars)

This is the first book in a series of contemporary romances, all centering around the fiction crown family of Scotland. In this first novel we follow Daisy, the younger sister of Eli, who gets engaged to Andrew, the Crown Prince of Scotland. After an incident in a parking lot with her ex, Daisy gets blackmailed into spending the summer in Scotland with her sister and fiance, and get acquainted with the royal family; cue shenanigans, romance and lots of sisterly yelling.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book; it was very funny and entertaining, and I haven’t related to a characters quite like I did to Daisy, since Princess Mia Thermopolis. While there are some tropes these stories tend to have, Hawkins manages to avoid a lot of the cliches, and she actually has some really good commentary on the economy of the royal family, the outdated and outright sexist traditions, the close-mindedness, and the prejudice that both sides are steeped in at the start. I found the romance very cute, the shenanigans were funny and entertaining, and I will definitely be reading the sequel.

Heart of Gold Part 1 by Eli and Viv (4 stars)

This is an webcomic that I stumbled onto by complete accident, but it blew me away. It follows Ionel, a concert pianist who is slowly losing his sight, and Kasper a priest with the power to heal people. Ionel moves to the small town and starts attending mass, in hopes that Kasper will heal him, but every time it gets close to, or his turn, Kasper refuses to help him. Through his attendance, the two become close, with Kasper seeming to have a crisis of faith, all while people from the town start dying; and they might be connected to Kasper.

This comic drew me in almost immediately. The art is absolutely beautiful, and it’s hard to believe that this is a free web comic. The story too is very mature and interesting; it deals a lot with religion, faith, and sacrifice, and the slow build of Isonel and Kaspar’s relationship feels very natural. I can’t wait for Act 2, and I’m really hoping the answers to what is happening in the town deliver on the build up we’ve gotten so far.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson (3 stars)

I heard about this book a lot when it came out, and I decided to check it out, since it’s a mystery following a girl who wants to become an FBI agent, coming to Ellingham Academy, a Montessori type private school, to solve an old cold case; that of the founder, Albert Ellingham’s daughter’s kidnapping.

I won’t lie; this book did not live up to the hype for me, though it was entertaining. I have a much longer and more detailed review of why, but it mostly boiled down to a few things. First, I didn’t like that it ends of a cliffhanger, and we get no answers; this is a bit odd for a mystery, especially a series which has more than two books. Second, I thought the way the past and present mystery connected wasn’t very well done, and I kept losing interest in the past, because of the way the book was written. And finally, I found some of the writing dry and lacking in proper atmosphere.

However, I still enjoyed the story, and the main character of Steve, and I will probably read the sequel, since I still want to know what happens.

S.T.A.G.S. by M A Bennet (3 stars)

S.T.A.G.S. is a British thriller, set in Saint Aidan the Great’s School or STAGS, a private boarding school with a long tradition. When new student Greer gets invited to a weekend of huntin, shootin, fishin at the estate of the leader of the most popular clique in the school, Henry, she accepts, not knowing what waits for her; and what does is a nightmare that might turn deadly, where the hunting, shooting, and fishing, might be a little too real and dangerous.  

I really enjoyed this thriller; I thought it was entertaining, fast paced and had a plot that kept me invested to the end. I also weirdly enjoyed the subtle romance between two of the characters, which isn’t often the case.

However, this book isn’t without it’s problems. The ending is a bit predictable, and having seen the Riot Club, I knew what I was getting into, in terms of what the weekend actually entailed. I also found that the book lacked a lot of tension, because we found out early on who lives through it. However, it was still enjoyable, and if you like these types of thrillers set in boarding schools or private estates, I think you will enjoy this one.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson (4 stars)

Like Prince Charming before, I was genuinely surprised at how much I ended up enjoying this book, because when I started it, I was really caught off guard by the humor. However, once I got used to it, this became one of the funniest things I read this month.

Undead Girl Gang is a horror/comedy that follows Mila, a Mexican-American teenager who practices Wicca. After her best friend Riley supposedly commits suicide, just a week after a double suicide of two of her other classmates, Mila decides to perform a spell and bring Riley back; but instead she brings all three of the girls back. The problem? They can’t stand each-other, and if they don’t want to be walking zombies, they need to stay within a 100 steps of Mila.

This book was hilarious and very dark. I really enjoyed all the relationships between the girls, and I found the look at grief very well done and moving. The ending was climactic, and the conclusions Mila comes to worked well for me; if you enjoyed the Craft, Mean Girls or Heathers, check this out, you will probably like it.

Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (5 stars)

This was by far my favorite thing I read this month. I struggled writing a review for it, because I just didn’t know how to talk about it without just relegating to spoilers and gushing about the characters and the puzzles. It’s a book that follows a group of thieves, who steal magical artifacts, each with their own motivations and goals. When they steal a magical Chinese compass, the discover that it leads them to a Horus Eye; an artifact so powerful it can show them the way to the fabled Fragment of Babel.

It’s the Mummy, mixed with National Treasure, mixed with Ocean’s 11. It’s fun heist story, set during the Exposition Universelle, and if you are like me at all and like any of these things, you will love this book.

Sleepless vol. 1 by Sarah Vaughan (4 stars)

This was probably my favorite of the graphic novels I read; it’s a fantasy that follows Poppy, the illegitimate daughter of a King, and a famous star reader. When her father the King dies, Poppy is forced to navigate court life, as his brother takes the throne, but things become increasingly hard as several assassination attempts are made, and her Sleepless protector Cyrenic starts drifting.

There’s just something about this series that ticks all my boxes. The art is absolutely gorgeous, the story is interesting and a bit different from the usual fantasy I read, and the Sleepless vow is a very unique type of magic. To top it off, I really like the two leads, Poppy and Cyrenic and I’m curious to see what turn the story will take after the ending we get in issue 6.

Motor Crush vol. 1 by Brenden Fletcher (3 stars)

I’ve been meaning to start this series for a while, and I finally did in February, and man was it a great time to do this, fresh after seeing Battle Angel Alita.

This follows Domino, a bike racer, who is trying to make it big and qualify for the world circuit. However, to survive she needs Crash, an illegal substance that is used to fuel the bikes in this universe, but she needs to inhale it. Through the first volume we find out a bit about her mysterious past, her ex-girlfriend Lola, and a man who seems to either want to help her or kill her; all while she races to win the qualifications and the Crash.

This series was a fun, fast paced ride, but it’s not without its problems. The art is beautiful, but the story needs some more polishing; there’s too many plot threads and not enough time to develop them. I can’t imagine how things will resolve in the next volume after that climax, but I will definitely be continuing it; the world was gripping enough to have me enjoy it, and Domino was a character I definitely rooted for.

Umbrella Academy vol. 1 by Gerard Way (3 stars)

Since the show is all anyone talks about, I decided to finally start this series and boy is it cooky. We follow the Umbrella Academy, a group of 7, who were adopted by a crazy millionaire savant Reginald Hargreeves, after being born in a spontaneous event all over the world where 48 mothers gave birth. Hargreeves trains the kids to stop the apocalypse, and now 10 years after his death brings 6 of the 7 back to his house, unaware that the apocalypse is here; and it’s a direct consequence of their reunification.

There is a lot of good and a lot of weird in this series. The characters have glimpses of interesting personalities and the idea of 7 kids being raised from birth to be superheroes by a man who is a British version of Ra’s al Ghul is interesting. But unfortunately the series doesn’t fully explore this, and the ending is really abrupt. The humor is quirky, and sometimes it works, but more often it makes the tone weirdly uneven, as we swing from graphic, albeit cartoon violence to slapstick. I think the show does a much better job with the tone, and while this first volume gets a lot right, it’s by no means perfect.

Sadie by Courtney Summers (4 stars) 

This was by far the hardest book I’ve read in a long time. It’s a mystery that follows Sadie, a girl who disappears after her younger sister is brutally assaulted and murdered; and West McCray, a podcast host who is retracing her steps, trying to find her. It’s a book about grief, assault, pedophilia, violence and the lies we tell ourselves so we don’t have to think about what happens to girls in this world, and it’s dower, dreary and oh so real. It made me feel things I don’t normally do when I read, and if you can stomach the content, I recommend it. If you can, get the audiobook; it’s a full cast and the podcast bits are done like a real podcast, which makes the story feel that much more immersive.   

The Disasters by M K England (5 stars)

I needed something light and fun after the last two things I read in February, and this was the perfect way to end my month. This was my favorite book I read so far, maybe even more than the Gilded Wolves. It’s a sci-fi that follows a group of 4 rejects from Space Academy who have to work together to survive a terrorist attack, and prevent another one from happening. It’s fast paced, incredibly entertaining, and I fell in love with all the characters.

I absolutely cannot wait for whatever else M K England publishes, and I loved this to pieces.