#realistically there is going to be conflicting information

[resizura]

i feel like people only say “leon’s family was in the mafia” bc one thing calls him italian (despite his last name being irish/scottish and his middle name literally being scott) and another thing mentions his family dying in an accident bc they were involved in crime but neither of those things were actually from the games iirc

EXACTLY! Like, it’s this weird thing where in Resident Evil, we get a shit ton of supplemental material from people who are kinda authority for the series, so like voice actors, character artists, authors who work with Capcom, etc. But the thing is, those people dont override the directors, producers, and writers for the GAMES and MOVIES (at least thats how I see it).

For those unaware, Leon being Italian-American is mentioned by Isao Oshi (the guy who designed the characters in RE1 and RE2) in “Capcom Design Works,” a book thats pretty much ONLY available in Japan and was released all the way back in 2001. What he said on one of the pages was, “When I created Leon, I had an Italian American with a pet bloodhound in mind.”

I’m not saying that Leon isn’t or can’t be Italian-American but to me personally, it seems like just a stepping stone for the designer to work on Leon. As far as I can tell, Hideki Kamiya didnt tell Isao Oshi to make Leon Italian-American. But okay, let’s table that and now discuss the lore around his parents.

This comes from the sixth volume of the CFC Style Fan-Book Cap!, which came out in 1998. It featured sort of “interviews” between Claire and Leon about RE2. This is also available in Japanese and has been translated to English. In this “interview,” Leon says that his family was involved in “heinous crimes” and lost them all at once. (X)

I don’t know how I feel about these books. I personally don’t consider them canon because it was like a fun little section in a newsletter and there’s stuff in Claire’s section that people never mention (like her having lots of boyfriends). But again! It’s so hard and annoying because of these grey areas in terms of authority. The CFC book is made and published by Capcom, so it should be canon, right? but then these things are NEVER mentioned in any main materials!

Honestly it’s like what I said in a previous post, where a reason why Resident Evil fans fight so much is because even Capcom isn’t sure what’s canon or not in its own franchise.

[whathorselegs]

I think the main part of my Chuuya overworks himself and is a chronic people pleaser headcanon comes from the fact actual Nakahara Chuuya's poem 'The Village Clock' is imprinted on my brain.

'The big village clock was working day and night. The clockface's paint had already lost it's shine. When I drew near, there were lots of tiny cracks.'

Not the full poem, but the lines that really stick for me. This is just Chuuya to me. Keeping going, keeping working, not smiling as much as he used to. Keeping up appearances. Keeping even his friends at a distance so they don't see he's not as happy as he used to be.

I agree in the latest chapters Chuuya looks tired as hell, but his eyes have always read as tired to me. He's always looked like he needed a nap (It took a moment to find a mostly neutral expression in his introduction because, well, the Dazai effect). The straight across upper eyelids and the rounded lower eyelids just scream "I'm too tired for this" to me

It's quotes from the Mayoi 'Joyous night' cards.

Kouyou: "Chuuya are you saying you can't have what I'm drinking? There's no need to worry so long as you drink in moderation. Surely you can afford a glass at a banquet." Chuuya: "What are you drinking Ane-san? Wine, is it? Interesting... No, I couldn't. I'm you're escort. If something were to happen while I was drunk, well... *sigh* Alright, maybe just a glass. This is a banquet, after all."

Like, yes, I'm fairly certain these are in reference to Chuuya being a lightweight and not wanting to get drunk at a fancy party. But it's also Chuuya not allowing himself to have fun. Kouyou realistically doesn't need escort, Chuuya was likely asked along because she enjoys his company.

It's wine. He collects wine and he won't even allow himself to indulge in his own interests because he's too busy unnecessarily worrying about Kouyou and how people will perceive him at the banquet.

It's the fact despite there being several high ranking mafia members introduced by the time of the three way conflict, Mori always uses Chuuya for his plans. There's really no need for an executive to be the one to check up on the hired assassins, or deliver information to the ADA.

Chuuya even remarks upon it himself, saying he didn't think himself fit for the role of envoy. But he does it because the boss ordered him to. He won't say no.

I don't think Chuuya is the same type of overworker Kunikida is. Kunikida has to have everything done right, he needs it done on time. He has a set of meticulous rules and practices to ensure it gets done correctly.

I doubt Chuuya is the type to be worried over his reports being perfect or "in on time" because he's part of the mafia. This isn't a day job. Sure, there probably deadlines where stuff is time sensitive, but again, Chuuya is an executive. He can delegate such work to subordinates if needs be. I definitely don't think he's above coasting his work and putting in minimum effort as long as the job gets done.

I think Chuuya is an over worker in the sense, that even if he's exhausted, even if he wants to go home and collapse, if Mori handed him another job, he'd do it. He has a hard time saying no to people and it carries over into his work.

And he has difficulty shutting off work mode once he's home. "Might as well sort those emails while I have some spare time" Turns into Chuuya unable to sleep hours later because he lost track of time, drank too much caffeine and has a migraine from staring at a screen for so long.

As for being a chronic people pleaser? Well, we mostly see that in Wan or the anthologies. As I've already stated, Chuuya has a hard time saying no to people close to him. It's important that it's not everyone. If he doesn't know them, he can and will tell them to beat it, if he wants to.

But show him a little of bit kindness? An ounce of respect? Be nice to him for a moment and the people pleasing button gets pressed. He goes about it in a round about way, he can't have you know that's what he's doing so Chuuya makes up excuses as to why he's doing it, but he does it all the same.

We see it when he buys Kenji dinner, or makes everyone shaved ice and plenty of other examples. He has to go above and beyond. He wants you to be impressed because he wants the praise, but he can't have you know that's what he wants.

The only person he doesn't do this with is Dazai. And that's probably to do with how they met at 15 (also because Dazai annoys the hell out of him). They met when Chuuya's people pleasing was at its worst, when he was King of Sheep and had next to no will of his own because Chuuya was too afraid of losing the Sheep to not do as they say. Dazai breaks him out of that.

For all they make the bet that Chuuya's his dog, aside from the odd joke, Dazai is never seen making good on that. He never orders Chuuya around like a dog, they are partners and he treats him as such. When Dazai witnesses Chuuya being treated this way by the sheep, he looks annoyed, he doesn't like seeing it. Chuuya being his dog was always just a silly joke.

Dazai being so annoying that Chuuya couldn't stand to do what he said helped Chuuya break out of some of his people pleasing habits and learn saying no was okay. After Dazai defected, I think those habits came back as Chuuya had to fill the role of Mori's right hand in his absence.

[piracytheorist]

The Briar Siblings' Lies

It's very interesting that in the family of lies and secrets, the lies of the Briar siblings are included, and I'm pretty sure that will play a role whenever they find out about each other.

I expect Yor to be heartbroken and angry at Loid when she'll find out his lies, but I'd also expect her to be heartbroken and disappointed when she finds out how much Yuri lied to her.

Yor might have kept her own very dangerous secrets, but there are huge differences in their circumstances.

Yor took up her assassin gig when she was just a teenager, orphaned and with a little brother to take care of. Amidst the cold war brewing, there would be various criminal organizations looking for people to drag in, and a poor, desperate, kind, and almost supernaturally strong teenage girl was the perfect recruit for Garden.

Whether this is Garden's initiative or not, Yor has a strong determination to kill her targets as quickly and as painlessly as possible, along with avoiding unnecessary bloodshed. She has studied human anatomy specifically for this very reason, to be able to kill her victims with mercy. She's realistic about the situations she's in, but if talking things through is even a tiny bit possible, she'll give it a try.

Though her morals are slightly skewed for the average civilian - it's understandable to kill someone in self defense, but her main targets are situations where she plays judge, jury and executioner - she's still retained a lot of her humanity that allows her to be a kind person and a caring sister, mother and wife.

And then you have Yuri.

Yuri fell victim to a more sinister kind of indoctrination - extremism and bigotry. Having grown up in poverty caused by the war and the deaths of his parents, and having an overwhelming wish to protect his sister, he was the perfect target for Ostania's nationalistic propaganda.

But the tragic background leading up to this choice and the want to protect his family is where his similarities with Yor's case end.

Yuri wasn't left with no other choices. Yor was already supporting him financially when he started working for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and that was a job that he could stay at and be independent. He was older than Yor was when she became an assassin. I can assume that some underhanded methods were used to lead him into the duties of the SSS, but even so Yuri had more control of the situation, more choices to choose from, and more information at hand. It's directly opposite to Yor's circumstances.

Yuri tortures people. The SSS specifically want him, despite his young age and lack of experience, exactly because he won't hold anything back, even when it makes him feel conflicted.

The SSS may be taking advantage of the ease with which he tortures people, but it's still something Yuri willingly participates in - and again, considering the fame of the SSS among civilians, it's almost certain Yuri knew what he was getting into. He's giving up his own humanity, going down a path of "us vs. them" and while Yor plays judge on who gets to live, Yuri plays judge on who gets to be treated like a human being.

While two similarly dangerous and demanding professions, and (at least according to what Franky says) following the same government's orders, it's two highly different cases. I think Yuri will be mostly horrified to learn what Yor went through for his sake, but Yor will be very understandably heartbroken. Yuri could understand that Yor had no other choice, but Yor will know that Yuri had all the best choices right in front of him, and yet he chose this.

And it's why I believe this is the revelation that will hurt Yor more. She could explain Twilight's lies by the fact that they didn't know each other before, she could explain Anya's secrets by her young age and innocence, but there will be very little for Yuri to stand on - and the thing is, Yuri knows that. He knows that what he's chosen to become isn't what Yor raised him to be.

Currently he may be seeing himself as a martyr for his cause, that he needed to potentially break his sister's heart in order to protect her and "the country she lives in". He'd rather have her feeling heartbroken and betrayed by him than with her life and safety in danger. He'd rather her hate him than get hurt.

How will it hit him when he realizes she's already been doing the same for him, and has already been endangering her life for over a decade for not only his sake, but for the world in general too? When he realizes all the work he's been doing to protect her was in vain because she has been walking into danger herself all along?

It's a really interesting dynamic, because the revelation could either break them or make them. They both have a very heartwarming background together, they both love each other deeply, but it's a trial they'll both have to go through at some point.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[cursedvida]

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

[energeticwarrior]

GLOBAL STRIKE FOR GAZA 1/21-1/28

Apologies for my delay in using my platform, I found out about this strike yesterday and was taking some time to figure out what to say

Palestine has been suffering long before October 2023 and I need everybody to understand that. There is a genocide happening right now and if people don't use their voices to speak up, then they will become a lost cause in our history. We do not want the stories of their people to be told 50 years from now with a side comment like "oh no I wish someone would've done something" or "I can't believe that actually happened." Our voices can spread like a wildfire, so I hope that everybody joins the global strike this week in support of Palestine and uses their voices, social media, platforms, etc to voice their support.

If you are unsure of where to start, I suggest reading up on the history of Israel's occupation of Palestine dating back to 1948. Here is a free PDF download of this book. To be honest, I have not finished reading this book yet, but it's been highly recommended to me by multiple people. Buying the book from the author would be better, but I understand that it's not within everybody's budgets which is why I included that link.

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If you follow this link, this is a great guide on how to participate and support the strike this week. Doing every single thing is not realistic but do what you can and that is enough.

Here are some Palestinian journalists you can follow on Twitter, as they are the most reliable source. Many news sources worldwide have been misconstruing this "conflict" and completely ignoring the blatant genocide happening before our eyes. These journalists are Palestinian people who have been living this their whole lives (there are many more people and the Twitter thread can be viewed here)

Additionally, here are some other Twitter accounts that you can receive information from.

I urge everybody (art blogs, fandom blogs, etc) to put their interests on pause for the week and use that time to educate themselves on what's been going on for the last several years. This did not start in October. Keep speaking up and uplift Palestinian voices!

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Resources and other ways to help:

BOYCOTT STARBUCKS AND MCDONALDS (among other things)

Donate E-Sims to help journalists be in touch with the rest of the world

Stop supporting Zionist celebrities (ex: Noah Schnapp, Gal Gadot)

Uplift Palestinian journalists

Donate menstrual products to menstruating people in Gaza

Donations to UNRWA, Islamic Relief Canada, Arab (daily clicks and proceeds go to UNRWA)

If I missed anything, please feel free to message me or send me something in my inbox. Again, I urge everybody to pause their week to stand in solidarity with the Palestinian people and continue to uplift their voices. We are all stronger together.

[munson-blurbs]

Living After Midnight (Failed Rockstar!Eddie x Motel Worker!Reader)

♫ Summary: Eddie lowered his guard during a late night conversation, revealing crucial details about his past. But was it enough for you to reciprocate? (4.3k words)

♫ CW: slowburn, strangers-to-lovers, angst, drug use, parental conflict, poverty, homelessness, brief mention of neglect, brief mention of sex work, eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI)

♫ Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

chapter four: show me yours, i'll show you mine

If convincing Eddie to take the job wasn’t enough of a struggle, you still had to explain the situation to your parents.

Hi Mom and Dad, I invited a guest to help fix up the motel. The same one who stole a blanket–but don’t worry, I got it back. Oh, and he’ll be staying here for free.

They were understandably taken aback by your decision, especially without consulting them first, but you’d mustered up a strong argument: Eddie was young, he was easy to get along with, and he showed a basic sense of personal responsibility. Not to mention that the place could certainly use the repairs; peeling wallpaper was just the tip of the iceberg. Lightbulbs needed to be replaced, carpets needed to be scrubbed, and the outside of the building desperately needed to be power washed. 

“Plus, summer break doesn’t start for another few weeks,” you hastily added. “We won’t need to worry about renting out Eddie’s room until then.”

Mom arched an eyebrow at the newfound ascription—not room four, but Eddie’s room—but said nothing, only looking at your father for his seal of approval. 

He breathed out, long and low, trying to do the calculations in his head. Your heart flip-flopped when his gaze dropped to the ground, his signature move when he was about to tell you no. 

“If he doesn’t help out, he can’t afford to stay here anyway. It’s not like we’re losing money if he keeps the room for a bit.” You winced at the slight whine in your voice, the opposite of the infallible exterior you’d wanted to present. 

Dad laughed, not unkindly, but belittlement panged in your chest nonetheless. “Except for the water, air conditioning, and electricity he uses,” he pointed out, ticking off each item on his fingers. “Unless he plans to only sit in the dark, sweat, and never shower.” He sighed as unmistakable disappointment weaved into your eyes and filled them with tears. 

Now you’d have to tell Eddie that the offer was off the table, that he was shit out of luck, that you’d let him down. You never should’ve opened your big mouth in the first place. Captain Save-the-World, except you only ever made things worse. If you wore a cape, it would get snagged on tree branches each time you tried to fly.

“You have a good heart,” Mom spoke up, trying to nurse your wounded feelings, “but kindness doesn’t pay the bills.” She glanced at Dad again, her mouth set in a straight line. “Maybe we can discuss this further.”

You fought to ignore the hope that bloomed from her words, but the corners of your mouth turned upwards before you could rein it in. “Thank you,” you murmured, offering them both a grateful smile. 

People called you a ‘bleeding heart,’ teasing you about your constant attempts to solve problems beyond a reasonable scope. At last year’s Thanksgiving dinner, your uncle had informed you—unprompted—that he would never vote for you for President because “you’d just give all my money to the poor.”

While your parents were more realistic with their goals than you were, they did their best to encourage your compassionate spirit; there was no doubt that you got your sense of morality from them. After deliberating on Eddie’s fate for a few hours, they had finally relented—with one stipulation. 

“Your mother and I are not going to supervise him, so he’ll have to work night shifts with you,” Dad had said sternly. 

“Really?” You clapped your hands in celebration. “Thank you! I mean, um, Eddie thanks you.”

Dad gave your shoulders a quick squeeze; it was his version of you’re welcome. “Yeah, well.” He played it cool, keeping his tone breezy. “It’ll be good practice for when you take over the place.”

You’d nodded in response, your insides twisting in a clashing mix of excitement and shame. Eddie wouldn’t have to live on the street, but it required you to continue lying to your parents. 

I’ll tell them the truth once Eddie finds a real job and gets his own place. I can only handle one crisis at a time. 

That was how you’d found yourself spending your Tuesday evening with Eddie Munson. The motel was otherwise empty, save for your parents, a middle-aged trucker in room 7, and Phyllis in her usual digs.

You and Dad had spent the end of his shift covering the floor with giant flimsy drop cloths. They hadn’t been used in years, evidenced by the thin layer of dust that coated them when you’d dug them out from the back of the supply closet. You’d tried your best to shake it all off but instead sent yourself into a sneezing fit. 

Eddie sauntered into the lobby at a quarter after ten. Gray sweatpants sagged at his waist, the drawstring noticeably missing from the elastic band, and his white cotton undershirt had a tan stain that spread across his left pec. 

“Coffee,” he explained with a shrug, rolling a hair tie off of his wrist and pulling his curls into a messy bun at the nape of his neck. He looked at you blankly and waited for you to instruct him, but you had already dove into your schoolwork. “Um, is there a ladder? Tools?” He pursed his lips and scanned the room with indifference.

“Oh! Right, yeah.” You could have smacked yourself for not having everything set up for him. “We don’t have a ladder per se, but this step stool should work fine.” You pulled it out from behind the desk along with a scoring tool, a spray bottle filled with a vinegar and water solution, and a putty knife. “I also grabbed the clock radio from my room if you wanted to listen to some music. Might help pass the time.”

Eddie nodded, watching carefully as you switched the radio on and tuned the dial to a Top 40 station. He shook his head the moment the electric beat of Haddaway’s “What is Love” played through the tinny speakers.

“Absolutely not,” he said with a scoff, dropping the supplies right where he stood, footsteps heavy even with the cloth underneath him. Without another word, he spun the knob past the static until the sound of an electric guitar crackled through. He bobbed his head a few times, finding the rhythm. “This’ll do.” 

“Not a Eurodance fan?”

His back was turned to you as he returned to the task at hand which left him unable to see the sarcastic smirk you sported. “Fuck no.” He stepped up on the tool and began cutting into the old wallpaper, puffing out an irritated laugh. “I can’t believe—scratch—you voluntarily—scratch—listen to that–scratch–shit.” His biceps flexed with each flick of the blade in a consistent rhythm. 

Drumming your fingernails on the desk, you twirled your pen in your free hand as you reread your own handwriting. You’d stayed at the library and filled notebook pages with bullet points about early childhood development until a squirrely librarian kicked you out at closing time. The choppy sentence fragments begged to be fleshed out into a fully-formed essay, but you couldn’t bring yourself to focus.

Write words. Make edits. Add a comma. Do something, anything, dammit.

Almost an hour passed without you making an iota of progress on your paper. The words swam on the page until they just looked like inky squiggles with no real meaning, your brain blank as if you’d never written anything in your life. Cool air tickled your nose as you exhaled through your lips. Why couldn’t you just concentrate?

“It’s this music,” you muttered to yourself, too low for your company to hear. Your temples throbbed with frustration, and you reached over and snapped back to the previous station. 

Eddie’s head whipped around at the sudden change, frowning when he heard pop music instead of the metal that had just been playing. “Seriously?” He leaned one hand on the wall and threw the other up in exasperation. 

“Yes, seriously,” you bit back, teeth clenched in annoyance. “I can’t focus on my writing with that on.”

Eddie grumbled something unintelligible but went back to work, the scratching serving as a strange backdrop to the song. 

Janet Jackson faded out to a too-chipper deejay. “You folks know what time it is!” His voice reminded you of old-school toothpaste commercials, over-exaggerated and unnaturally polished. “That’s right; it’s time for Rad or Retch—where I play a song from a new artist, and you call in and let me know whether you think it’s rad or if it makes you wanna retch!” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, adding an exasperated “Jesus H. Christ,” under his breath. 

“This one’s called ‘Watch Me Leave’ by Death’s Echo, a grunge group from—”

The announcement came to an abrupt end as Eddie nearly leaped from the stool to the desk and yanked the plug out of its socket. The two-pronged head hit the floor with a soft thud. 

“Hey!” Your eyes widened in confusion and then disbelief, flickering over to where he stood. You expected him to wear a scowl that matched your own; instead, he looked like he’d just taken a knife to the gut, and you took a step back. “Whoa, you okay?”

Eddie tensed the moment he detected your sympathetic tone, shoulders pinched and jaw rigid. “‘M fine.” He pressed the heel of his left hand atop his right knuckles until they cracked. “Sorry.” He bent down and gently plugged the cord back into the wall, but you immediately flicked the power button to the off-position. 

It was silent for a full minute, save for the scorer against the wall and the scratch of pen on paper. When Eddie finally spoke, his voice was so soft that you barely heard it.

“That was my band.”

Confusion creased your brows. You set down your pen and stole a glance at him. His body remained facing the wall, but he was no longer working, hands lamely at his sides. “What?”

“Death’s Echo was, uh,” he shook a rogue curl from his eyes, “that was my band.”

“Oh.” Awkwardness seeped into the room and filled every crevice as you wracked your brain for a suitable response. “But…not anymore?”

Eddie clicked his tongue. “Nope.” The p sound popped softly as though signaling the discussion’s end, but there was a pregnant pause before he started removing the wallpaper again.

“Why not?” The question sprang from your tongue, curiosity getting the best of you.

A hesitant chuckle accompanied his sigh. “I thought you didn't make small talk with strangers.” He climbed back on the step stool and ripped off a strip of paper.

“I thought we weren’t strangers anymore,” you quipped back, not missing the smile that ghosted his lips.

“Fair enough.” Eddie conceded easily, not at all angry to be proven wrong. He bit the inside of his cheek and stared up at the yellow-tinged lighting overhead before slicing into the wallpaper. “Sometimes you think you want something, but it turns out to be a steaming pile of horseshit.” The last word was punctuated by a grunt, and the last panel of wallpaper fluttered to the ground. “That’s the music industry in a nutshell.”

You nodded in agreement despite an obvious lack of knowledge.

“They sign your band,” he continued, aiming the spray bottle nozzle at the wall and pulling the trigger, “and you think it’s because they like you. Or at least your music, your sound, whatever.” He wrinkled his nose as he got an unexpected whiff of the vinegar solution’s pungency. “But you’re really just a front for whatever they want to sell. Which, apparently, is grunge.” 

You had too many questions. They probably referred to record producers or agents or some other bigwigs, you surmised, but what did they do that made Eddie so cynical? 

That was far too loaded to ask, at least in that moment, so you opted for a more humorous follow-up. “You mean it wasn’t all sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll?” you joked, but Eddie didn’t share in your lightheartedness. 

“At the beginning, when we first got signed, yeah.” His brown eyes exuded wistfulness, remembrance of better times. He blinked twice and snapped himself out of it. “We put out a few albums that didn’t completely flop, I guess. And we were the opening act on a couple of tours. Got a good chunk of money in the bank.”

That explained the Calvin Klein underwear he was wearing on that first night. You capped your pen and leaned in, trying not to be overly inquisitive but unable to contain yourself. “So…what happened?” What led you here?

“We get called into a meeting, and we’re all thinking that the label’s gonna tell us we’re headlining, right? Maybe not, like, The Garden, but bigger venues than we usually played. But, uh…” he trailed off and rubbed the tip of his nose with an open palm, “it was an ultimatum: shift from metal to grunge, or get dropped.”

You listened intently as Eddie relayed the ordeal. The label executives had cited the increasing popularity of Nirvana and Pearl Jam along with decreasing interest in heavy metal bands. “Cobain’s selling; Ozzy isn’t,” they’d explained. If Death’s Echo wanted to play to packed arenas and have their music on mainstream radio, they had to adapt to the times.

“I told them we weren’t sellouts and to kiss my ass,” Eddie said to you, huffing out an annoyed breath. “But the rest of the band didn’t give a shit about that; if those suits told them to jump, they’d say ‘how high.’ So, I quit and waited for them to come crawling back.” 

He didn’t elaborate after that. He didn’t need to. Because if they’d done as Eddie had hoped, he wouldn’t be performing manual labor just to live in a struggling motel, basking in the gloominess that he wore like a second skin.

“If you could go back and do it differently, would you?” You grimaced at your own intrusiveness. “Sorry, that was—”

“It’s fine.” Eddie didn’t give an answer right away, his teeth grating against his lower lip. “Y’know, I’d like to say no, but losing your record deal, your apartment, your girlfriend, your so-called ‘friends,’ and every nice thing you own can make a guy kinda cynical.”

Girlfriend?

It was far from the most dire item on that list, but it needled at you. Maybe it was the mental image of Eddie watching everything get taken from him and then adding heartbreak on top of it all. 

“How about you?”

His voice yanked you from your thoughts and had your heart in your throat. “Huh?”

“You. Your whole deal.” He gestured at you with the scraper. “Why you’re always doing homework like a little nerd.” You couldn't detect a note of taunting in his teasing, only playfulness, just as it had been that very first night. 

You scowled for only a second before a smile broke through. “Don’t you have wallpaper to remove?”

Eddie snorted out a laugh. “I see how it is: when it’s my shit, I’m free to talk. But when it’s your shit, I’m a lowly employee.” He held up both hands in mock surrender. “My deepest apologies, Heiress.”

You didn’t bother to argue, choosing instead to pivot to a new subject altogether. “How long does this take, anyway?” Walking out from behind the desk to inspect his work, you ran your finger down the wall. Once you got past the stench of vinegar, he was actually doing a pretty good job.  

“You think you could do better?” He saw your gentle ribbing and upped the ante, holding out the putty scraper as if saying, be my guest.

Plucking it from his grasp, you smirked and chose a spot right at eye level. Challenge accepted. 

Though the glue had softened considerably, removing it still required decent muscle. You put your bodyweight into it and pushed through the resistance, but you only managed to pull off a little bit. 

You heard Eddie laugh through his nose as he stood behind you, watching you struggle. “Harder than it looks, huh?” He ignored your middle finger and stepped a half-inch closer. “Let me help.”

One calloused hand dwarfed yours, his fingers wrapping around where your fist held the scraper. The other found purchase on the bicep of your free arm where your T-shirt’s cuff met skin, stabilizing without entrapping you. You could easily get out of his grasp if you wanted. 

You stayed there. 

He tightened his grip around yours and made short, downward strokes, admittedly taking off far more glue than you had. “There ya go,” he murmured. His breath was warm on your neck, gooseflesh rising when he spoke. You hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Just like that.”

Butterflies beat their wings in your stomach, a result of the unexpected proximity compounded by an unmet need for connection that starkly contrasted the night shift’s normal solitude. A loose tendril of his hair tickled against your ear, and the realization of how close your bodies actually were shattered whatever spell had been cast. 

Eddie pulled away quickly, the air cooling where his hand once rested. Did he also feel that sudden loss of contact, or was it all in your head?

With a shaky breath, you stepped aside and silently returned the tool to him. “Should probably leave this to the expert,” you muttered, forcing nervous laughter. “I have to get back to writing anyway.”

His eyes bored into you as you walked back to the desk, but neither of you said another word. You glanced over at him every so often, noting the perspiration dampening his collar and under his arms as he toiled away at the glue and wished you had a water bottle to offer him.

Maybe next time. 

You got halfway through the first body paragraph when Eddie spoke again.

“You’re really not gonna talk?”

You looked up to see him swipe his forearm along his brows as he shot you a tired grin.

“We just had a whole conversation,” you pointed out, returning your attention to your essay. 

“About me,” he said. He wiped his palms on his pants, leaving behind a sweaty print, and traipsed over to you. “I mean, every time I see you, you’re either going to school or coming back from school or doing work for school…” 

You shrugged, no big deal. “Okay, yeah, I go to school.”

“For what?”

Shit. “Hospitality and hotel management.”

“Really.” Eddie leaned over and snatched up your paper. You reached out to grab it back, but it was too late. The bridge of his nose scrunched as he read the opening paragraph to himself. “Doesn’t look like hospitality to me.” Amusement raised his brows. “Care to explain?”

It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you felt strangely obligated. He’d confided in you, so you should at least moderately indulge him. 

“Fine,” you relented, “I’m studying psychology.” That might have been the first time you’d ever said those words aloud in the motel lobby; it was oddly freeing. 

Eddie nodded and continued to scan the paper. “You wanna be a shrink?”

“Social worker.” 

He let out a low whistle. “That’s a tough gig. Especially if you’re working with kids.” He shook the essay pages for emphasis. 

“Yeah. I know.”

“Right.” He shoved one hand in his pants pocket. “What made you decide to be a social worker?”

You breathed out a laugh. “You want the easy answer or the real one?”

He didn’t hesitate before answering. “Real one. Always.” He returned your essay and rested his un-pocketed hand on the desk. Inquiring eyes beckoned you to continue.

With less trepidation than you’d anticipated, you tell him the story of that fateful day in the summer of 1987, just two years after you’d graduated from high school.

You were still working the afternoon shift, and summer break brought its usual influx of guests. People came and went in blurs of luggage, but there was one particular patron who had made her presence known.

“Hi!”

You peered over the desk to find the source of the lively greeting. A young girl, no older than five, stared back at you, syrupy grape stickiness surrounding her lips. The cause was most likely a popsicle, as evidenced by the purple stained stick clenched in her right hand.

“Um, hi,” you said with a smile that was, for the first time in a long while, not encased in customer service insincerity. “What’s your name?” And where did you come from?

Unfazed by your bewilderment, she introduced herself as Izzy and asked you if you wanted to play. “We just have to stay here, or else my mommy will get mad,” she explained with urgency.

You nodded slowly, sorting through the information without raising any alarm. “And where is your mommy?”

Izzy’s hazel eyes darted back towards the hallway. “In our room. She’s with a friend so I can’t go in.” She dropped her voice to what she considered a whisper, but it was still clear as day. “Her friend is a boy.”

Your stomach turned. Of course. Instead of watching her child, this mother was probably shooting up with her boyfriend of the week. 

“I can’t play right now, but you can sit here with me until your mommy and her friend come back out,” you said. “I have paper and pens if you wanna draw.”

This satisfied her, and she plopped down on the floor and patted the spot next to her. That day hadn’t been particularly hectic, so you obliged and sat.

“What’re you gonna draw?” Izzy asked, reaching for a blue pen. You didn’t have time to answer before she proudly announced, “I’m gonna draw a flower. Do you like flowers?”

“Mhm.”

Izzy smiled as she surrounded a circle with swirling loops. “You can draw a flower, too. Maybe a rose. Or a sunflower!”

Her excitement at the latter option was all you needed. “Sunflower it is, Miss Izzy.” You drew a circle of your own and filled it with a cross-hatched pattern, curating pointed-tipped petals around it. 

“D’you have crayons?” she asked, not looking up from her own flower.

You put down your pen and offered a pitying frown. “No, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay. You should get some, though. ‘Cause you can draw prettier flowers with crayons.” 

The two of you stayed on the floor for ten minutes. All the while, she quizzed you on your favorite color, animal, food, and TV show. She was halfway through a heated explanation of why Friend Bear was superior to Share Bear when a frantic voice called out her name. 

“Mommy!” Izzy practically flew into her mother’s arms. You watched as the woman’s entire body sagged in relief, pulling her daughter in close. A man trailed behind her, discreetly zipping up his fly and walking out the front door. 

“Izzy, I told you to sit in the hall and eat your ice pop,” her mom gently scolded, words muffled by her lips being pressed to Izzy’s scalp. 

Izzy scrunched her nose in confusion. “But I finished it.” She pointed at the empty stick, now on the ground where she’d been sitting, as proof. In true childlike fashion, she jumped to a new topic without waiting for the first conversation to conclude. “Mommy, you wanna see what I drawed?”

“Of course, baby.” She easily feigned excitement as Izzy presented her with a series of scribbles that were meant to be various flowers, people, and farm animals. “Wow! I think you’re gonna be an artist one day.”

The little girl continued chatting, blissfully unaware of the panic she’d inadvertently caused. Her mom allowed herself to look away for just a moment to glance at you, mouthing a tiny “thank you” and blinking her tear-filled eyes.

“And…I don’t know,” you lamely supplied as you wrapped up the story. “I guess I realized that I had all of these assumptions, this sort of preconceived notion that this woman was a deadbeat parent, but she obviously loved Izzy more than anything.” You picked at your thumbnail nervously. “No one should have to sell their body for money just to survive. She deserved better than that.” 

Eddie stayed quiet for a moment, absorbing everything you’d thrown at him. “And you wanted to help her,” he finally said.

“Yeah.” You thought back to the way her gaze simultaneously held gratitude and guilt. Her daughter was safe, but she knew that this was not the final time she’d be in this predicament.

The experience had awakened a realization in you: working at the motel was never your dream, but it kept a roof over your head and food in your belly. You weren’t left to navigate the world on your own. Independence was a privilege, not a mandate.

“For what it’s worth,” Eddie broke in, “I think you’ll be a great social worker someday.” He rapped his knuckles on the desk twice and slipped back to the awaiting task; despite insisting that you talked to him while he worked, he hadn’t touched any of the tools while you spoke.

Your smile was a thank you, and you tuned the radio back to the metal station Eddie had chosen earlier. He didn’t say anything else, but you noted the subtle tap of his toe against the drop cloth.

Eddie worked for a few more hours until he’d stripped the wall of all paper and glue. “All right,” he said, balancing the step stool on two fingers. Sleepiness softened his own smile, all lips and no teeth. “Let me know when the new wallpaper comes in. You, uh, know where I live.”

“Will do.” Your thumb absently grazed against the words you’d just written, smudging them. You rubbed at the black ink seeping into your skin, silently chastising your own carelessness. “Good night, Eddie.”

He stretched and scratched at the U-neck of his collar, exposing a sliver of chest hair. 

“Sweet dreams, Heiress.”

--

taglist:

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[brujamala-aka-gigi]

random messages from the tarot

pick a pile, who knows, maybe there's something of use here...

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3. images are from pinterest dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Pile Number One

Solitude will help you comprehend some kind of harm made (by yourself or my others). This is a point where a more solid understanding of feelings is needed, in order to process extreme emotions which might be understandable, yet their chaotic manifestation is doing nothing good for them. Don't feel weirded out or overwhelmed about feelings of nothingness, it is a common occurrence after periods of emotional stress, and nothingness itself it's and opportunity to create and grow from it. You might feel as if something did not bring the prosperity or the success you expected, but it wouldn't be wise to let your emotions block your ability to analyse how to channel your potential properly.

Running away from problems is not as useful as looking at them from a distance. Challenging your defense mechanisms will bring you closer to abundance, both material and spiritual. Loosing control is never ideal, but usually when that happens it's because you are not being realistic with what you are actually responsible for in your life. Things might not go our way, but they go the way the go for a reason.

Pile Number Two...

Remain cautious with impulsive actions, specially when you can't explain how a thought or a feeling got in your head in the first place. There's plenty to learn and plenty to teach, but this won't be fruitful unless it's in the company of others. Open your mind to new opinions and new ways of nurturing your thoughts. Although there might be a sense of balance in your life, take into consideration anything that could ruin it, and be prepared to act accordingly. It's a good moment to establish boundaries, not only for others but also for yourself.

Whenever faced with conflictive people or situations, be aware of how valuable someone's words by seeing how the act. Trust your gut if you feel like there are missing pieces of information, yet don't allow yourself to become paranoid. There's trust worthy people near you, but you have to be willing to let them grow alongside you. You are about to approach a new journey of self development once you become less cynic when it comes to people, which is fine sometimes, but don't let that be a defence mechanism to remain in your comfort zone.

Pile Number Three...

There's a lot of potential for you to become a higher version of yourself, but a lack of opportunities might got you thinking that it's not an option. Even when the opportunities are not there, and injustice is present, don't loose focus of what constitutes your true essence. Frustration will make you isolated, as this is not true to who you are. But during this periods of justified anger, new ideas will be born and will guide you towards new perceptions of success.

Protect what's pure to yourself and be ready to fight for the spaces you know you deserve. Many misunderstandings will come from your energy being blocked and people taking advantage of it. You can have the certainty that this moment of your life will end well. Learning experiences like this are meant for us to show ourselves our own strength, and to test how much we've learnt. As long as you remain conscious of your true nature and your personal power

Don't fear your own potential, and don't fear new responsibilities when it comes to others and yourself.

pssst... check my blog for more p.a.c. readings and stay tuned for an ask game <3

[writingquestionsanswered]

hii!! any tips on how to write a flashback?

Tips for Writing Flashbacks

Flashbacks are sudden memory-based interludes that interrupt the main narrative in order to transport the reader to a moment in a character's past. These interludes can be brief, mere seconds out of the character's life where they're momentarily reliving the past event, or they can be longer, playing out in a full or partial scene.

Regardless of whether it's a quick flashback or a longer one, it's a good idea to have an external trigger that causes the flashback to happen. For example, it could be a sound, smell, visual, hearing a name, or anything else that triggers the sudden and very realistic reliving of the memory.

If you're writing a longer flashback, you may want to use a tense shift to transition between the present moment and the flashback. If your story is being told in present tense, you may want to shift to past tense for the flashback. If your story is being told in past tense, you may want to do a few lines of past-perfect to transition into the flashback, then you can switch back to past tense. This creates a clear boundary between the past tense of the main narrative and the past tense of the flashback.

When it's time to come out of the flashback again, whether it's a long one or short one, use an anchor in the present to pull them back. It could be someone they're with saying, "Are you listening?" Or someone touching their shoulder to make sure they're okay. It could be a text coming in on their phone, or the school bell ringing. This creates a nice abrupt ending to the flashback that pulls the character back into their present moment.

Since flashbacks do interrupt the flow of the main narrative, it can be jarring to the reader if you use them too frequently. That said, it's a good idea not to overuse them unless they're a necessary device in your story and you can find a less jarring way to do them.

Last but not least, flashbacks can have all sorts of purposes. They can tell the reader something they need to know about back story. They can help the reader understand a character's internal conflict and/or the choices they make. They can also help a reader connect with a character or situation who isn't part of the present timeline. However, you always want to make sure there's not a better way to deliver that information. For example, let's say your character was in the military briefly but was honorably discharged due to a medical obstacle. And let's say your character is getting to know a knew friend and their military time comes up. You might be tempted to do a flashback to the discovery of the medical obstacle and the honorable discharge, but is that really necessary? If that moment doesn't play a major role in the character's internal conflict or something that's going to happen, it might make more sense for them to just tell the new friend about it rather than put it into a flashback. On the other hand, let's say you have a character who had a really frightening experience as a child, and although they keep that experience buried deep, it's fundamental to who they are now and is part of the internal conflict you're exploring. That would be a situation when occasional flashbacks to that event--when relevant--might make sense.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[sendothetaurus]

How to write good dialogue

Almost every story needs dialogue - obvious right? Well, this post is about the not-so-obvious sides of conversations. I've struggled a LOT with snappy and realistic speech, so I've made it my mission to collect some handy directives. Here is what I found:

Contents

Information Dumps

Setup And Payoff

Characterization Through Dialogue

Three Simple Questions

Four-Sides Model

Depth

About Answers

Sources And Credits

⮮ Let's go! (^▽^) ⮯

Information Dumps

Everybody knows them, everybody hates reading them. But how do we avoid them? Something really clicked for me when I understood context. If your character talks about something that happened in the past, they don't need to explain what happened. They were there. Here's an example:

"It would be nice if we at least got a B for that paper. Since I will go to college next year, I feel that this is important to me."

The speaker and the listener should be aware of the exposition (regarding their last year at high school). During dialogue, these conditions go without saying.

Setup And Payoff

Instead of dumping everything at once, let the reader guess what's happening. This is done by mentioning something that is not answered right away. Also dropping hints can increase tension.

Scene 1 "Why do you always carry that with you?" she asked and pointed at the box cutter. Her friend eyed her with suspicion. "For cutting." "Yeah, but why?" "Might come in handy sometime." Scene 2 An ice cold shiver ran down her spine as her fingers felt around the bag, searching for the familiar shape. There was nothing. The other tossed the thing onto the floor between them. "Care to elaborate?" She couldn't have known. "How could you!"

Someone definitely has a secret here that they don't want uncovered. It makes the reader speculate: Does she carry the knife to defend herself or does she plan on hurting someone with it?

Characterization Through Dialogue

The general rule of thumb is: Show not tell. If a character is shy, self-absorbed or chaotic, make them act like it. Also, readers take part in the characterization of your protagonists. Make them guess why a character acts a certain way.

"C- can I have your pen?" She twirled her thumbs and looked at the ground. "What the hell, no!" Disgusted, he brushed off his hands on the front of his jeans. "I'mma better disinfect that."

Notice how the girl is stuttering and the boy has a loose tongue. Mannerisms help identifying traits in a character. Everyone has a distinct way to speak (e.g. relaxed, polite, malignly) which makes it easier to tell them apart. Sometimes there is a difference between speech and behavior. This can be quite useful to highlight conflict inside a character.

Three Simple Questions

Who wants what from who?

Why now?

What happens if they don't get it?

These questions ensure plot consistency. For question 3 the only other outcome is conflict. Conversations thrive off of conflict and it is of benefit to have a supplicant and potential provider for a solution. It's basically intention versus obstacle.

1. She wants to be his wife. He doesn't want a marriage. 2. She is pregnant. 3. She needs to provide for a baby all on her own.

Tadaa, a conflict ensues.

Four-Sides Model

The four-sides model is a theory on communication. It assumes that a message has four distinct ways of being conveyed:

Facts -> data, facts, truth and relevance

Self-Disclosure -> explicit and implicit information about the own mindset; likes, dislikes, opinions

Relationship -> information about whether the person is liked or detested; approval and disapproval; "I assume you have [this] opinion of me"; body language

Want -> a direct attempt to influence the behavior of another person; advice, desire or instruction

Since this is highly technical stuff, I'll provide you with an example:

Customer: "I always drink my coffee black." 1. Fact: The coffee I drink is black. 2. Self-Disclosure: I like black coffee. 3. Relationship (POV of the waiter): Did I do something wrong? OR It's their fault! They ordered the wrong thing! 4. Want: Bring me black coffee.

Controlling the message through sender and receiver gives a new level of influence to an author. The relationship-level is the bottleneck in a conversation that holds the most potential for misunderstandings. I'm trying to be aware of it when I write subtext (see below).

Depth

On the nose dialogue is what we want to avoid at all costs. For this reason subtext is created in stories. Read this:

Scene 1 A: "I like you." B: "Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying." A: "Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right." B: "We were never friends. Go away."

This is not how conversations work. Thankfully, dialogue like this is not entirely useless. It conveys what the characters really want to say. The challenge is to think of a way to not say the thing but keep a similar meaning.

The true meaning behind the dialogue is called subtext (scene 1). If I don't know how to continue after a certain line, I write down the subtext first before I decide on how to paraphrase it.

Finally, I add a fitting description of expression and body language if needed. I try to keep it short and simple.

Check this out:

Scene 2 She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I need a ride home later. Are you free?" -> I like you. "Sorry, all seats' re taken," he said without looking at her. -> Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying. "Uhm, okay. But I'm small. You could fit me in the footwell, honestly." -> Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right. He leaned forward as if he had the urge to stand. "Ha, funny. But no, I'm not planning on doing something illegal tonight." -> We were never friends. Go away.

A character's action depends on their own intention and the other's response. I feel it is easier to keep track of what's happening behind the curtains when it's written alongside the dialogue.

Simultaneously, you can keep habits and traits in check. Does the the character apply all criticism to themselves? Are they disregarding or constantly marginalizing others? Do they worry only for themselves or solely for others? Subtext truly is the most powerful tool in conversation-writing.

About Answers

Did you know that you don't have to answer every single question? In fact, there are two other ways to show an emotion without telling it.

The first one is called sidestepping. The character ignores the posed question and carries on with an entirely different topic.

A: "Do you still love me?" B: "We should get going."

It's very obvious, right? By sidestepping the question, we can assume that the character is uncomfortable or angry with the other person.

The other way to answer is actually a bit paradoxical. Through silence, a great variety of emotions can be displayed. It is recommended to refrain from actually describing silence with words like "he remained silent", "he refused to say anything", "he never responded".

- The laptop hummed. - The birds chirped in the trees. - She felt her legs going numb from sitting in an uncomfortable position. - His eyes wandered around, searching the parking lot for a familiar face.

It feels more natural to explain the things that grab our attention when we sit in silence.

This is it, folks. That's all I could find on the topic - for now. If there's anything missing, I'd love to hear it.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope this helped ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

My sources are this and this video as well as this article.

Also a big thank you to @zoropookie for helping me with the colors ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[jewishdragon]

every time i re-watch FMAB i wanna SCREAM ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE

i need to talk about the complexity of this show, how the heroes goals change as they gain information about the world, how they make HUGE mistakes and we the viewers learn that we made the mistake of thinking that the main characters were important, that this story was about them, when they are simply the vehicle to deliver the story of a war, a conspiracy, MULTIPLE tragedies including genocides. the show shifts halfway through to broaden the viewpoints, we get flashbacks from the genocide that MOST OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS PARTICIPATED IN (yes the fandom favorites), and its horrific. it's disgustingly realistic even in a world where people casually use magic powers. Can we talk abotu Riza? how she learned that the entire "civil war" was orchestrated by one person who wanted to consume god, and the main characters were like "so it wasnt your fault! it was the conspirators!" and Riza said "No, it doesnt matter who started the fighting, we soldiers still pulled those triggers"

there's SO MUCH more to say i have so many emotions and thoughts about this. About how even if shit was mostly going down in one country, other countries were involved. royals from other countries trying to steal taboo magic, conflicts along boarders that arent resolved, and that if somehow this one country didnt get its shit together its founder and secret leader would consume god and wouldnt stop until it consumed the world.

oh and how that monster who wanted to consume god was created? that history and that tragedy? holy shit i have SO MANY THOUGHTS i cannot say more.

i watched the 2003 FMA, in which the conflict was... smaller, between individuals. it was good but it wasn't as impactful, and it's ending soured it for me. (i did like the lore for creation of homunculi better in 2003 though! and I maintain that position)

[mj-ackerman]

Translation of Tatsuya Endo's Interview with Katsumaru: (You can read the original here X)

Katsumaru: My wife and child are both big fans of "Spy x Family", so they were both excited for me to be able to meet you today. Why did you choose the theme "Spy" in the first place?

Endo: I didn't have any particular desire to draw a spy story or something like that, but I had always liked military kinds of things and was interested in war related things, so when I combined those aspects with the theme of "lies", it naturally ended up as a spy story. However, I haven't seen many spy movies, and for movies like "007", I've only seen one or two of them.

Katsumaru: What? Really? The information about spies that appears in the story, even for someone like me who's been an avid follower of the genre, gives an impression that it's very well thought out. How on earth did you acquire such knowledge?

Endo: Most of it is from books. And then some of it is from documentary films and the likes. There was an old movie called "Shiri" (This is a 1999 Korean film), it's about the battle between North Korean Special Operation Forces and South Korean Intelligence Agency. I liked that very much.

Katsumaru: The setting, in which the husband, Loid, is a spy and the wife, Yor, is an assassin, reminded me of the movie "Mr & Mrs Smith"

Endo: When the series was just starting, I see that title being mentioned a lot in the comments, but to be honest I've never seen it before....(Laughs). I didn't have much time to prepare for the serialization, and since it's a comedy, I thought I didn't have to be that particular about the settings as I drew it. I incorporated the knowledge I had gained from books, but since it's still a manga, I kept the "No way, that's impossible" aspects to it.

Katsumaru: I think it has a really good balance between realistic depiction and entertainment. Spies are part of everyday life, and some of them even established a "fake family" as in "SPY X FAMILY". In reality, there are cases where married couples had been living together without realizing that their husbands are spies.

Endo: That balance is what I pay the most attention to. I guess you can say it's a process of determining the "minimum level of reality" in each scene.

Katsumaru: How concerned are you about the difference between "reality and manga", Endo-sensei?

Endo: This one is difficult. It's a case by case basis, but in manga, there are many parts where I can just go "let's fake the reality at this part for the time being". When you're working alone, you don't have time to do research about this or that fact. However, in anime, you have to create much more detailed settings, so there isn't much room to put on tricks. When the anime team would ask me "What would happen in this part?" I would often reply with "I'm sorry but I haven't thought about it yet...." (Laughs).

Katsumaru: Have you not strictly defined the scene or time period the story is set in yet?

Endo: I had the image of the period setting somewhere between the 1960s and 1970s. I'm trying to explore what I can do with the technologies in this era thinking "This technology might be possible". I also have softened the reality of things, such as the political form. The cold war between the East and West is also part of the motif, but if you just tell the readers that "it's a conflict of ideologies" , it won't make sense to them. So, I put it into a form that is easy to understand as a manga, there are also some parts that I, myself don't know about after all. Similarly, in the real world, for example, spies probably have very few horizontal connections, right? Like for security reasons. However, as a manga, in order to develop the story, it was necessary for me to depict conversations between spies. All the more that this is a comedy story, so it wouldn't work without conversation. It's difficult to find the right flavor between the two.

Katsumaru: It's pretty unique that you came up with the name "Dalc" which is similar to the name of the currency "Mark" (It's Deutsche Mark which is no longer in use since 2002) used in Germany.

Endo: It's actually a combination of "Mark" and "Dollar". I often use names of places and buildings that actually exist in real life. However, I have a pretty bad memory, so I often ask myself later "Where did I get the name of this place again?" (Laughs)

Katsumaru: Is there any expert historical research or supervision of intelligence agencies involved in this?

Endo: I basically think about all the detailed settings all by myself.

Katsumaru: Since the real-life aspects are well-constructed, I thought an expert in international politics was involved in supervising this.

Endo: There are also some readers who read too deep into the historical situation, but I didn't actually put much thought into the details in writing the story. This is just a fictional country called "Westalis and Ostania" after all.

Katsumaru: In "Spy x Family", there are some Russian-speaking names such as "Anya" and "Yuri" that appears, but spies in that country uses more analog method. For example, "flash contact", in which documents are handed over to another person as they pass each other, or a "drop dead", in which documents are hidden in an agreed-upon location and later picked up by a colleague. There is also a method for communication. Although this method is considered extremely inefficient, it is sometimes considered to be highly secure because it prevents interception of communications.

Endo: So there's still that kind of analogs even now huh? Now that technology has developed and everything is digitalized, I certainly think it's much safer now. In other countries, there are organization such as M16 (United Kingdom Secret Intelligence Service) and CIA (US Central Intelligence Agency), Japan also has organizations with such characteristics.

Katsumaru: The "Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department Public Security Bureau (Public Safety)", where I worked, is the counterintelligence arm of Japan. In "VIVANT" (It's a 2023 Japanese Drama), which I supervised, Hiroshi Abe and Ryo Ryusei are playing roles with these type of characters. We have obtained as collaborators people who have a lot of information and people who are in position to meet various people such as reporter.

The only problem was that we didn't have enough people. The CIA has a large number of subordinates under it's station chief, and a large budget. When I was temporary transfered to a Japanese embassy overseas, I was alone, my budget was limited, and I was also reponsible for issuing passports, so there is no doubt that working at an intelligence agency overseas with better environment had allowed me to concentrate more on my mission.

Endo: Do you hire locals overseas?

Katsumaru: There are times when we ask locals to work with us by paying them a reward. Or, we can ask them to connect us with people who has information. The Public Safety is very good at finding and training people who can bring good quality information and can do good work.

[ystrike1]

Arthur - By Poem (7.5/10)

Being a good cop is a full time job and a half. Corruption. Shady security companies. Sexism. Homophobia. Stalkers. Our rookie cop protagonist has to deal with it all. His main support is an elite member of a security company. They aren't lovers. The wealthy man just wants to own and use him.

Arthur Groban is a rookie with no power and no clout. He works for the LAPD, and being a big city cop is harder. There's corruption around every corner. He can't even get basic evidence files and he has the worst luck.

His first case is a murder charge....against a senators son. The evidence is clear. The privileged man killed a homeless woman. The circumstances are disgusting, but the judge keeps throwing out the case.

Arthur gawks at a beautiful man.

The beautiful man gawks back.

Silas Moore is a wealthy adopted son. His adoptive mother owns a huge security company that often works with the FBI. He's pretty high ranking within the company, and he's known for being cold.

He also screws around with hot cops. He doesn't believe in love so he uses his high position to mess with powerful men. If you're a sexy buff cop and you want evidence that is clearly being withheld...talk to Silas Moore with your shirt off...

Silas propositions Arthur right away, in a way that feels suitably cold and humiliating. Silas commands Arthur like he's a dog. He snaps his fingers when he wants to hook up, and he's a pretty terrifying Dom that loves to use whips.

The homeless woman gets justice, but more high profile cases come through the door. Arthur Groban has to pay up every time to get information.

Arthur Groban is not a scared twink. He's able to regulate his emotions and mostly enjoy the hookups without any emotions involved. Silas Moore is hot. He's rich, but he has a reputation. Arthur expects nothing from him. Silas is the one that gets attached first. He starts punishing Arthur for little things. Like being distracted when they are together or trying to leave before Silas says he can go.

Arthur also runs into drama issues at worm because of Silas. Silas slept with a few elite cops who are waaayyyy above Arthur. One of them is really bitter, and it turns out that Silas is the real monster. He played with this particular cop for three years. Then he didn’t even have the decency to break it off amicably when Arthur came into the picture.

Arthur considers it a warning.

Silas Moore is not to be trusted.

The situation escalates though. Silas starts putting in more effort. In the bedroom and the office. He's decently funny and caring too. Arthur starts to feel....affected.

Silas even meets his siblings, and he helps the family navigate a traumatizing situation.

Arthur sees more of Silas, and it looks like he's not as cold as he appears.

We meet the source of the problem.

Why was Silas adopted?

Well, he was raised by an abusive gangster older brother. Cain treated Silas like property and he's an extremely violent serial killer. Silas Moore is super paranoid about love and vulnerability because he was raised in a very dangerous neighborhood.

Cain decides to use Arthur to capture Silas, for unknown reasons.

Arthur decides to protect Silas. Silas protected his beloved family. It's only fair to return the favor.

Silas starts having toxic fantasies. He wants to "break" Arthur. He wants Arthur to be submissive all the time.

He doesn't act on those thoughts though, because Arthur is such a good support in his life.

They're equals.

They sort of stumble into being a couple. It's very realistic? Especially compared to most BL stories. The conflict with Cain isn't super exciting though.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Dawn of Hope

This is going to start in that weird place where we are taking canon and making it simultaneously better AND very much worse.  Also, as always, I may be ignoring or ignorant of some part of canon that contradicts this stuff, forgive me. 

While there are many changs we need to address, the biggest is that Anakin does not choose Palpatine, or Fall, during the fight between the Council and Palpatine (Also, because I truly believe that it is the point of no return for Anakin’s fall, he did not kill the Tuskens). This does not actually make anything better.  

Anakin’s refusal caused the three way fight to last a bit longer, but also ended with Mace Windu’s death. The Force began to scream that Anakin needed to get back to the temple immediately. Anakin disengages from the fight and escapes.  Palpatine let him go, since this was still in line with several of Palpatine's plans (I fully believe that Palapine had a plan for any eventuality). Palpatine calls for Order 66 and Anakin arrives back at the temple mere moments before the 501st.  Anakin is horrified to see his men firing on, and killing, the Jedi in the temple and ignoring his attempts to order them to stop (it is important to note that in this, there is no indication in the Force or their behavior why the clones have suddenly started shooting Jedi; also Fives report in this one was not intelligible enough-due to being drugged-to give either Anakin or Rex information about the chips).  His help gives the appearance that the temple can start evacuating (they rebuffed wave one) and Anakin is told by one of the temple guards that a group of initiates had been locked in the council chambers for safety, but they need a counselor to unlock the door to evacuate them.  

Anakin goes down and unlocks the chamber, and just as the initiates look up at him with hopeful eyes, believing that they have been saved…Anakin is knocked unconscious by the temple guard, who had been one of the guards that betrayed the Jedi. The guard then slaughtered the children (all of them, including Reva as the guard had not been as conflicted) and dragged Anakin away (Palpatine now intended to torture him into Falling) as the other traitor guards disabled the last of the protections for the temple, letting the clones come back in to kill everyone.

 Another change was that early in the war Cody took a hit to the head that, unbeknownst to everyone, broke the chip. The extra time it took for Palpatine to call for Order 66 meant that Obi Wan had reached the upper levels and that Cody had joined him there when the chips activated and every clone, except Cody, started trying to kill any Jedi (for apparently no reason).  Cody and Obi Wan are able to escape, but there is a part of Cody that will never forgive himself for the fact that they both had to kill some of his brothers to do so.  They are able to get to Coruscant, where they meet up with Yoda at the ruins of the Jedi temple.  They see the surveillance video (the clones attacking, the temple guards that betrayed them, Anakin being captured, the younglings being slaughtered). 

The next step is obviously to rescue Anakin. Now both Yoda and Obi Wan are self aware enough to admit that this would have been the goal for no other reason than that Anakin was part of their lineage. However realistically he is also the only other Jedi they know is still alive, a powerful fighter, and would be a devastating enemy if he could be coerced to fall (they do not know for sure that this is the goal, but there are only a few reasons to take Anakin alive). Knowing that they would need to rely on the Force to move quickly Cody is sent to collect Padme before she can be used against Anakin. 

By the time Yoda and Obi Wan find Anakin, he has been tortured but has not fallen. Obi Wan is able to escape with Anakin, though Yoda gives his life for them to do so.   Anakin injuries mean that his remaining flesh arm and his legs have to be amputated. The stress causes the twins to be stillborn and the measures needed to save Padme’s life remove her ability to have any other children.  

Obi Wan and Anakin are the last Jedi in the galaxy at this point. Through chance or circumstance everyone else died in the Purge(This includes Ahsoka. With the extra time and without Rex having knowledge of the chips, she is eventually killed by the clones; the fight did enough damage that the ship still crashed into that moon, killing everyone on board-including Maul).  They are only just able to get the mechanics to replace Anakin’s missing limbs, and the four keep on the move to lay low.  By the time both Padme and Anakin have healed from those first few days, 18 months have passed and the galaxy continues to grow darker. 

Bail Organa’s fledgling rebellion has been found out (a combination of the lack of a daughter had Bail focusing on the rebellion more, and moving just a hair too fast, and Palpatine not having Vader to deal with-both not spending time focused on his recovery and not needing an enemy to point Vader at one he has healed). Bail and Breha have been executed as warmongers and traitors with a Palpatine approved puppet installed as the new ruler of Alderaan. Any friends that any of the four might have had were swept up in the aftermath of the failed Rebellion. 

At the two year mark Palpatine, who no longer has any use for the Clones, as he had recruited a natborn army in the meantime, issues another Order, this time for the last remnants of the GAR to kill themselves. 

Cody is the last Clone of the GAR in the galaxy, and none of four of them know about the chip. 

These four have no friends, no help, and no hope. And they survive in this galaxy where they can rely only on each other for another 8 years.  

In that time neither Anakin nor Obi Wan fall. This is not due to some extra attachment to the light, but the fact that there is nothing the dark can offer them. How do you resurrect an entire culture? Who would they even try to bring back? Because they do not know about the chips, they do not have one person, even Palpatine, that they can blame or get revenge on. 

Also during these 8 years the four form a Force bond, tying their life forces together.  Though the bond is deliberate, and of the Light Side, none of them are quite sure if it is ‘If one dies, we all die’ or ‘we all have to die for one to die’. Frankly, in the galaxy they live in, they figure there is not much difference.  This bond does have the effect of slowing all of their aging to the slowest (Anakin, with his Force connection ages at one third the normal human rate once he reached maturity)

10 years after Order 66 and the Purge, our four feral survivors find an artifact that will take them to a new timeline.  It has not been used often, because there is no control over where or when they will be dropped, there is no way back, and most people do not want to chance that they will end up somewhere worse. Our four are not worried about worse, they know that they have the worst timeline, and they have no one to try and come back to. So they activate the artifact.

It drops them into the canon timeline, during A New Hope, on the Death Star,  just before Darth Vader strikes Obi Wan Kenobi. This derails Old Ben’s attempt at martyrdom. Darth Vader is immediately distracted by Padme Amidala, looking older than he remembered but younger than she should be (had she lived).

As they all recognized an older version of Obi Wan, and guessing that the tall being in black is the bad guy, the four dimension travelers grab Old Ben, the teeny boppers (Luke, Leia, and Han look unbelievably young to them) with the Wookie and the familiar droids (as none of them look like they belong on the Death Star) and hustled them onto to only ship that does not look imperial (A Corellian Freighter) and escape while Vader is staring at the spot where Padme Amidala had appeared. 

The only reason that they were not immediately shot out of the sky is that Vader realized that Padme was on that ship and made sure no one shot the Millenium Falcon. 

The Millenium Falcon, and everyone she holds, escapes. They take some time to make sure that they are not being followed before Han, with input from Leia, sets a course to the nearest Rebel Base. There is enough confusion that he does not even ask about payment. 

Then everyone turns to the four dimension travelers.  Obi Wan, the younger, looks at Old Ben and goes ‘Hello There’ in a tone that is distressingly flirty for a solid half the ship. Anakin rolls his eyes, whacks Obi Wan (the younger) upside the head, and goes ‘set up a threesome between yourself, you husband (Cody), and yourself later’. 

Old Ben looks far too considering for Luke and Leia’s piece of mind. 

It is Padme who introduces the four dimension travelers, with a brief overview that they were from a different timeline.  Upon Padme introducing Anakin, Luke perks up and goes ‘Oh, you’re my father’

Anakin practically squeals with excitement that he (Luke) must be one of the babies (Padme also got visibly excited and interested in the answer), and asks if he is Luke or Leia.  Luke somewhat blankly answers with his name. A moment passes then Luke goes ‘BABIES???’ At the same time Leia goes ‘LUKE OR LEIA???’

At some point in the midst of this chaos Luke manages to tell Anakin that the Anakin was killed by Darth Vader (and clarifies that Darth Vader was the tall fucker in black). 

Both Anakin and Obi Wan feel the wince in the force coming from Old Ben at that statement. Old Ben, for his part, fully expected to be dead before having to have this conversation on ‘from a certain point of view’ with his niece and nephew. He also did not expect to be having this conversation with another version of himself with three people he had loved and lost to decades earlier. 

Old Ben manages to get out a single ‘from a certain point of view’ before Anakin goes ‘Oh, other me is Vader. I Fell’

Old Ben agrees (which increased the Chaos quite a bit and it takes some time for those revelations to sink in). It is at this point here a minor, but somewhat critical misunderstanding occurs. Once Anakin found out that this universe’s version fell, he muttered that it must have been the torture. Anakin has made an assumption that this Anakin was also captured by the Guard and was tortured until he Fell. Old Ben hears this and assumes that his Anakin was tortured to fall at some point before he killed the younglings (in this one Old Ben never found out why his Anakin fell).  Neither are speaking directly enough about what had happened to catch onto the mistake (both had had time to come to terms with what happened, it still is deeply traumatic and neither really wants to talk about it), though it will be resolved quickly and without real drama. 

Padme asks about her own fate, given that it is clear that neither of her children recognize either of their parents by sight. Old Ben says she died in childbirth. Padme, very used to Obi Wan’s ‘from a certain point of view’, drily asked how much Anakin’s fall contributed to her death.  Old Ben winced and admitted to the choking and throwing. 

Old Ben also admits that he has not seen Cody since Utapau.  No one on the ship is aware of the chips, so no one knows to disagree when Cody goes ‘so I went insane with my brothers’. Old Ben, Cody, and Obi Wan compare notes and realize that the clones ‘going insane’ happened a bit later to Obi Wan then it did to Old Ben.  They come to the erroneous, but understandable, conclusion that Obi Wan’s presence when Order 66 went out (not that they know that is what happened) somehow kept Cody from going crazy. 

On the other side of the ship Padme and Anakin are making a concerted effort to get to know their now adult children. 

Then they arrive at the Rebel base and additional, hilarious chaos. The Rebellion expected the Corellian freighter carrying Leia Organa (and were ecstatic that Leia, at least, survived Alderaan destruction) with R2D2 and C3P0.  They neither expected nor did not expect Han, Chewbacca, and Luke. They very much did not expect the Corellian freighter to be carrying: Presumed dead General Anakin Skywalker, Very officially dead Padme Amidala, not one but two General Obi Wan Kenobi (Possibly dead-no one has seen or heard of him in a decade, still has the highest bounty in the Empire; Also visibly different ages), and Cody (who was supposed to be on a mission somewhere in the Cadavine sector and looking much younger than he should). 

Our four dimension travelers are abjectly overjoyed, as anyone they recognize has been dead a long time as far as they are concerned, to see the people of the rebellion. It is in this set of explanations that there are many revelations. Including, but not limited to: Vader’s fall was not from being tortured (Anakin posits that Vader chose to Fall to try and save Padme, then killed her anyway); The revelation about the chips in the Clones; The revelation of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, twin children of Anakin and Padme. 

The Leaders of the Rebellion starts to recall any Force Sensitives, Clones, and anyone who the four dimension travelers would have recognized. There are many happy reunions (including Old Ben reuniting with the Older Cody; which eventually also results in a foursome with the younger Obi Wan and Cody) As soon as it is clear that the dimension travelers intend to stay, the Rebellion starts to plan how to use having 2 Obi Wans, 2 Codys, a non fallen Anakin, and a living Padme in their fight against the Empire (the propaganda potential alone is glorious).   None of them are really in the position to be on the frontlines, but there is still plenty they can help with.

Anakin does put his foot down, that they will not hide that they come from a different dimension. Some of the rebellion had talked at first at playing that the four had been put into some kind of status (since three of the four were presumed dead, and the fourth was also genetically identical to enough people that the stasis is realistic).  Anakin pointed out that doing that would essentially steal Old Ben and Older Cody’s identity. Plus, and this was the argument that actually worked, hearing that Anakin was a dimensional traveler from a timeline where Anakin chose not to fall AND did not cause his wife’s death would both piss Vader off and, possibly demoralize him.

Anakin and Padme take special missions to squash Vaders psych like a bug.

It works.

[system-of-a-feather]

You mentioned going for EMDR because of lowered dissociation. Is EMDR a bad idea with a CDD?

People with high dissociation are typically cautioned against EMDR (though I've heard it working fine for some) due to the risk of flooding. EMDR is considered a really good way of treating PTSD, but it can be a little *too* effective for dissociative clients as the dissociation is there for a protective reason + the dissociation tends to be both complex and hold a lot of conflicting beliefs and feelings. It's good at getting to the meat of it, but with dissociative folk that effectiveness can be dangerous and bring up more than an individual can realistically handle thus "flooding".

Usually for more dissociative individuals, a similar yet slower approach of Brainspotting is more recommended as it works within dissociative barriers more than EMDR that kinda tends to bypass them.

Of course, this is all just general consensus and its not really a "people with CDD should never do EMDR" cause every person and situation is different so its best to talk to your therapist and treatment team and figure out what works best for you / the individual

I'm on mobile but a few things talking on it (I only skimmed them but they seem correct and informative)

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

[typicalbrunette]

I’m conflicted about how to be a respectful fan and realistic human at the same time. I was leaving out names while writing this but I realized that it was slightly hypocritical of me. So I’m just going to say what I was gonna say and it’s about Ashley Johnson being in the news for filing a restraining order against an abusive ex who I don’t feel like naming.

I 100% understand the impulse and intention of everyone saying to not look up the article or information that came out about this situation. It was irresponsible reporting, it put people in danger, and it was totally intrusive.

However, I also feel weird about saying “don’t look at it!” because us not looking is not going to change the fact that the info is out, the damage is done, and I fear that by constantly saying “don’t look at it” we’re going to wind up with even more destructive speculation than just allowing the facts to exist. So far there’s already a lot of “Wait what happened?” responses from people unaware of the situation which is going to lead to a lot of word of mouth info spreading and we all know how well that goes (I mean just look at Narrative Telephone).

So I feel like we have a narrow line to walk with the whole thing. To ignore it once it’s out there is frankly naive, however we CAN and SHOULD do our best to be supportive and RESPECTFUL fans. And let’s remember we are FANS, not friends or family and that means we MUST remain at a distance!

So how do we remain respectful and supportive in this very complex situation?

• Just don’t bother talking about the ex.

- It’s not constructive. At best you’re giving them publicity, at worst you’re unintentionally hurting victims of intimate partner abuse who may be dealing with a history of gaslighting. Talking shit is honestly just not helpful right now.

• Focus on showing support for the person being victimized

- The easy thing to do is to focus on those feelings of anger at the abuser, but the MOST HELPFUL thing to do is to try and focus on your feelings of love for the person they have hurt instead.

Look at it this way: If you come across a victim of a violent mugging, someone who is clearly hurt and needs help, but see the mugger running off down the street, what’s the better choice: Get mad and chase down the mugger or stop and help the injured person?

Obviously, you stop and you help and you make sure the person who is hurting is okay and help them feel safe. And that’s what we should be doing now.

• Support but don’t intrude

Like I said earlier, we don’t actually KNOW Ashley Johnson. We’re fans of her and her work. But that doesn’t give us any kind of right to intrude into her life even if it’s to wish her well. So how do we support her respectfully?

- You can post about your love of her work and how you think she’s a cool person but without mentioning this whole thing. Give love without bringing in reminders of the bad. If she wants to talk about the bad, she will do that with the people of her choosing, but it’s not going to be us and we should be cool with that.

- A lovely idea that’s floating around is to donate to the Critical Role Foundation of which she’s president and clearly cares a lot about.

- You should NOT try to send her messages or letters that in any way reference this situation.

- You should NOT post any kind of speculation about what’s going on in her head or what she’s up to or dealing with.

- If you do happen to read an article about the situation, don’t comment on it or try and get into it with the author. Trolls are trolls even when they’re professional trolls and the best course of action is to simply ignore them and move on.

Basically, be kind, be positive and don’t start spouting off in anger about other people’s business. Even if Ashley doesn’t see what you say, other people in similar situations might and it can be really hurtful to them.

I get it, we all feel protective, but the best kind of protection we can all give right now is to simply aim kindness and love in the right direction and respect Ashley’s privacy and wishes. So let’s do that.

[derww]

some really basic thoughts about last mape's stream (lifesteal spoilers to 13.05):

– squiddo doesn't make any sense, her speaking bad about ash is like pretty much as pentar speaking bad about jumper – yes, they did not have a proper public allieship, but everyone knows that they're good friends inside and outside of a character, so the sudden switch looks very unnatural. for now, my bet is that new league wanted to get more info through squiddo, so they gave her a piece of very real information about the project, which jumper abandoned, was not going to continue, and was ready to sacrifice, as pentar sacrificed his base to gain the trust of the players. its really in some way, pretty much the same situation, which can show new league's manner of work. and her wanting wemmbu to succeed is just very strange for her character arc, even if she thinks all these godmod things are cool.

– but, of course, knowing squiddo and nonsense of the lifesteal, there's still a small chance that she's not a double agent. she decided that her character is mad about rejection in the new league, and she likes wemmbu's plan or her understanding of it so much that she is ready to step over yourself to contribute to his success (what doesn't seem to make sense, combined with her desire to be in a new league, there are two very different motivations to work against them, and they don't work particularly well together). in that case, well, i guess jumper thought that it'd be very cool to make a video of them two standing right in the center of her unfinished voidhole and that she believed her too much because of squiddo's hatred for wemmbu&mapicc and friendship with ash. it's not beyond the realm of possibility, but it definitely doesn't meet the usual jumper paranoia. but in that case we can have a very interesting and funny and cool ally, which would be cool, despite all the improbability.

– wemmbu's attitude and motivations, as always, remain mystery for me. i get that he gave mape an immortality to mess with minute, but but now the players, his only allies, are even bigger underdogs than before (if we talk from a logical position, where we only take into account mape and ro, because leo and clown are definitely not considered reliable allies). realistically, of course, there are many complex and not too honest ways to win 2v4 and even 1v4 but mape's record shows that he's more likely to still take his sword and try to run in the wall. what is the interest for wemmbu in all this if only neutrals and the new league remain on the server? what if he needs help? is he that cocky? is he different from spoke in that he doesn't need dolls to play with them? i understand the argument that another immortal person or that reviving dead players destroys the essence of hardcore and generally makes everything less appropriate, but when wemmbu did what was right and not what was beneficial to him? maybe he just doesn't want a second god on the server, even if he will always be able to remove it. to be honest, i was sure that he would leave the mape with immortality for now, and then take it off at the most unfortunate moment just for fun of it but oh, well.

– it's just part of who mape is, but his crushing self-confidence is dangerous. he speaks as if he has power when he only has ideas and options that may or may not work. it worked in the re-election, but will it work now? i would like to believe in him and that he would get some interesting powers from wemmbu and fight the new league using them, because otherwise the last two weeks of the server seem incredibly boring to me. of course, even without the players, we'll still have a couple of plots on the server that might work, but they might as well be the chekhov rifles that never fired, and having two final weeks without big conflict seems very strange.