#really his greatest regret at this point are those that died

[muzzleroars]

Do the siblings ever Show Lucifer the testament god left about him? Man's gotta be depressed already over something so preventable :[

did something a bit different and wrote a small one-shot for this - it's an idea i've had stuck in my head, about just what it would mean for lucifer to find god's regret and how it could possibly find a way into a mind so thoroughly consumed with hatred for him (~1300 words)

Lucifer stands frozen before the terminal, locked into an infinitely receding space that reduces everything that surrounds him to a single room. A single display. He is impossibly small, flattened, compressed into it until only he and this feeble echo of God remain. A poor replica of what they once had been at the start of everything, just before creation exploded out into its unfathomable expanse when Lucifer was bursting with light and God was the entire universe. Lucifer now, a smoldering, hollow shell and God only words on a screen.

            Nothing like His true voice. A language of images and abstractions woven into visual song.

If this was the way it was always meant to end, that would be its only justification. A long game, a damnation incomplete until it brought him before this one screen and the meager text displayed on it. How insignificant, how indifferent they are, the very banality of evil. Lucifer would read the words until they began to blur together and he could make them out as some trick of Hell, how he strains to hear laughter thrumming through its halls. But it’s quiet, almost distant, as though the prison itself has retreated from him now. And how it should.

            All of this, come to nothing.

The pitiful flame still in his belly burns in a terrible ache, that last living part of God unable to withstand this regret. It never had to be, the first and oldest tragedy rendered meaningless. The thought locks into his mind, rapidly consuming it until he has nothing else beneath it or before it. He would dig his fingers into his own eye if tearing it out would take away what he now knows. It was so much better to think his beloved Father had turned to hatred of him for reasons he would never parse, he could live in perfect hatred toward Him in kind if that was their fate. He hated, and hated, and hated, devoured whole and corrupted down to his very core, his entire fabric, to turn into an antithesis of his maker. Thousands of years immeasurable to become the distilled poison of God, eviscerated by his grief and carrying all the bodies of those dead angels in his own to cultivate a vile evil unknown to any other than Lucifer.

But it was never returned. Lucifer perpetually and ever all-ignorant, loved endlessly by a Father that had sent him so far it had devoured God just as it had the Devil. How he would have helped, false memories crashing into his mind to temporarily dislodge that one looping, intractable truth – if God had found an answer for him in that moment, if He had responded in truth to His child’s anxiety. How Lucifer would have served Him then, risen up to be the perfect son in the mold he had been made and how his love would have burned ever brighter in the face of it. A whole history that would have been unravels in an instant, showing all of what he could have been in full clarity.

And Lucifer recoils from it.

He does not feel that way his hands begin to burn, molten cracks bursting all along the cindered remains of his arm and shining through his gutted insides. The light of God Himself, so torturous to the walls of Hell all around him that it screams, writhing and twisting but unable to eject him from the terminal before him, unable to shut the room away in the face of the very primordial force that had made it. Flames burst forth, flashing in now terribly billowing smoke, threatening to consume the entire space yet nullified instantly by the shrill light of the sun, the very essence of the Celestial Rose petrifying all it now touches.

Lucifer flares, the mantle of his flames consuming his broken body barely able to now sustain them, the train of his wings corroding every surface they touch. The dead air breathes into life not meant for it and so dies a second time, Hell rushing to quarantine his fire as it rapidly spreads to turn its body necrotic. Lucifer himself too burned down, his ashes crying out against his own awful divinity and yet he feels none of it. He sees only the words in front of him.

AN ANGEL SO BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL ASKED ME THIS…

His right hand finds the terminal screen, display flickering and just as soon burning through, before he even touches it.

AND I CAST LUCIFER, TOO, INTO THE INFERNAL DEN

Upon slightest contact, the metal and circuitry of the terminal are no more and he is flooded with the holy word instead.

ONCE I REALIZED WHAT I HAD JUST DONE…

I COULD ONLY WEEP

It strikes down to his core, sending deep pulses of an unspeakable, unfathomable grief through his reignited flames. Lucifer retracts into himself for the pain, for the abundant, wracking tears that burn away before they can even leave his eye. Yet in them, his world rapidly begins to expand again, away from the words he’s now eliminated, away from the memories of a life that could have been. The Testament explodes through his mind, God’s true voice in the unlimited capacity only ever heard by Lucifer and now rejected by him in his immutable hatred. It is done.

Soon, he hears the wailing of Hell; Lucifer casts his gaze finally unfrozen to a room now greatly altered around him. His hand is badly broken open, embers left behind in a flame that has once again fallen into a deep sleep, but he has done much more damage to his friend. It feels his regret and knows his apologies, evident through its slow quieting as Lucifer himself straightens to stand once more. He moves himself quickly over now ashen ground, not wishing to prolong the residual trembling left in it; he departs from what’s left of the room and it is gone behind him. Excised, and all is silent. He supposes they won’t speak for a while now.

He steps back out into a part of Hell barely recognizable as such – A dawn slowly breaks over the water stretching out in front of him. The sun is steady rising, sedate as it comes over the horizon in soft washes of color he remembers once painting himself. How now his ignorance has been reduced, seemingly to a cruel extent and yet it’s so much smaller than it seems. He had seen the alternative in what could have been, and he sees it now in this morning. To paint always, to serve forever.

If his Father had loved him all that time, if He had regretted His choice each passing day and if it contributed to His own demise…it can only be Good. God had loved him so, and Lucifer had grown in hatred in those same exact days. God’s sorrow and His death do nothing to him, they cannot change what He Himself had made in His first son – Godly, sinless hatred. He imprisoned Lucifer in the deepest pit, made him wholly wretched and placed all ugliness, all blame, all suffering onto one child to preserve His Paradise. Yet in butchering him so, He had freed him from unending, unthinking servitude.

The Archangels that had brought him there gather to him cautiously. They know Hell has swallowed the room he had stood in, they can see the damage done to his hand – Raphael offers to heal him, but no more words are exchanged. It would be pointless to elucidate his feelings anyway, all of them unable to comprehend just what he has become and what he now wishes to be. He was born illuminated with Love, the Prince of Heaven and High Priest of the choirs, and to this day he could be singing the constant refrain of the seraphim around the throne of God in his once perpetual adoration. What a small, incomplete world he would have lived in.

Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heaven.

[sorcerersandskillusers]

*SPOILER WARNING CHAPTER 112*

Something is really off about Fyodor's death in the manga

Having just read the latest chapter, I noticed something really weird with Fyodor death scene. It all comes down to Dazai's reaction.

Before Fyodor "death" we see Dazai being all smug and gloating about what Fyodor missed, very typical of his character in general.

But then his mood suddenly shifts completely

He suddenly becomes very sombre, no triumph or gloating, this could be him regretting having to kill Fyodor, but the next few panels make me think there's more too it then that.

Look at Dazai's expression here, the way he seems so suspicious of the hand

I don't think we've ever seen Dazai's eyes like this, they are blank white, it's almost like his mafia eyes but colour inverted. This is not the face of someone who just beat their greatest enemy, or someone mourning their loss, It looks like Dazai is unsatisfied, I can't quite describe it, but there is something more in those eyes.

After Fyodors death Dazai is uncharacteristically quiet and Chuuya even points it out, again, nothing about this says "we won!" it feels like we still lost somehow.

So why would Dazai not want Fyodor dead? While it could be because he was sad to lose the only person who thought like him, while that's possible, I want to explore another idea.

Death did not stop Fyodor.

Dazai could have killed Fyodor when he had him cornered in the cafe if he wanted to, or have someone else kill him so he doesn't break his promise to Oda.

But he didn't, he let Ango arrest him instead, even though Dazai knew what a threat he was, why?

It all comes down to this.

The only way Dazai can counter Dostoyevsky is when he's right there in front of him. So now he's dead, Dazai can't read his actions any more. It's like he's fighting a ghost, all the plans Fyodor will have laid in case he died will be 10x harder to uncover and stop since it's much harder to fight an invisible enemy.

Remember that Dazai did not order the piolet to kill Fyodor, Bram did, and Dazai admitted to not having any say in that deal

.

I don't have any final point here, I just wanted to vent these thoughts. Does Fyodor quoting jesus on the cross mean he's going to come back in three days? What's going on with Sigma? I have way more questions than answers and it's driving me nuts

[eternalera]

im sorry but love IS the main theme in jjk, no not just in the movie but ALL of jjk.

dont believe me? fuck it, fine, i'll explain

lets start it out with the obvious, jjk 0. this is the prequel to the actual anime and manga series (although i guess actualy isnt the correct term... you get the point) and it starts all because of yuuta and rika who were both children when they fell in love.

rika gives yuuta a ring and tells him that its a promise ring and that its a promise that they'll be together forever.

yeah rika DIES

but dw, she gets turned into a curse... by yuuta, but it was on accident so... yeah fun-

then geto shows up and basically attacks the school and yuuta and rika save it using LITERALLY the power of love. then soon enough gojo ends up telling yuuta this 'love is the greatest curse of all'

yeah love is literally the main theme of that, yuuta's love is what cursed rika and caused her to become a curse but what of gojo? why is he saying 'love is the greatest curse of all'?

well soon after this he mentions his 'one and only' and its heavily implied (actually canon) that its suguru geto, YEP the mf who attacked the school. now lets take it back a few notches shall we <33

gojo and geto went to school together where they became extremely close friends (implies lovers as they do a TON of romantic stuff in japanese culture such as giving geto second button to gojo aka the one close to his heart and them riding on a bike together which is illegal in japan but its also considered romantic to break the rules with your lover so like??!?! yeah theyre gay)

soon after they have a mission to protect the star plasma vessel and imma spare you the details lets just say that it goes HORRIBLY wrong and it ends up causing a rift between gojo and geto. gojo ends up awakening becoming a better version of himself for it and is trying to show it to geto. yet he doesnt know that what happened with him and how he basically got a power up did NOT happen to geto.

geto was left to question who he was fighting for anymore and this caused him to... get a little silly and kill an entire village anyways the kfc breakup happens yada yada and remember that these two were really really REALLY close friends at least and most likely lovers (how i'll be referring to them from now on)

now what day did geto attack the school aka the night of 1000 demons parade? december 24, the same date which is the most romantic in japan (to my knowledge) and the same date which gojo killed him... YEAH THAT SHIT WAS PLANNED

but lets move onto something a little more... recent.

ITAFUSHI!!!

honestly my fav ship and why im all writing this in the first place. their love for each other was literally so great that they killed the king of curses. the whole reason that megumi locks in is because he realizes that yuuji is gonna be sad if he dies and that he doesnt want yuuji to be sad

these two care for each other so much and its basically shown at the start of the manga, how megumi sees yuuji and saves him without hesitation, he just doesnt want to see a good person die.

he then says 'what if someone you saves kills another in the future' and when yuuji asks him that megumi cant answer. and when he can yuuji literally flips back and kills himself in order to save megumi and mind you he was fearing death a few seconds ago, saying how he didnt want to die yet and how he had regretted eating that stupid finger

yet when it came to saving megumi all of the sudden that didnt matter anymore, in fact when sukuna offered to bring him back he said no because he didnt want sukuna hurting more people... speaking over that-

SHIBUYA!!! yeah sukuna takes over yuuji and kills a bunch of people- kinda ironic seeing how megumi asked yuuji 'what are you gonna do if someone you save kills those later?' even MORE ironic that before that its revealed that yuuji swallowing the finger caused a bunch of parts of sukuna to wake up and start killing people and both of them realized this and went 'imma not tell the other cause thatll make them sad'

anyways megumi gives his bf a pep talk and then BAM megkuna and yuuji goes batshit against sukuna <3

anyways before megumi separates from sukunas body he says that he's gonna try living for someone else just one more time and its pretty obvious that this person is yuuji.

ALSO fun little thing.

love the greatest curse of all won against the king of curses, sukuna. sukuna who refused to feel or care for human emotions. aint that something?

[hazelsmirrorball]

Spiderman’s Biggest Fan |  Jaime Reyes.  Part 2

summary:  Jaime Reyes is the biggest spiderman fan. His girlfriend on the other hand is Spiderman's biggest hater. 

pairings: Jaime Reyes x Spiderman! FemReader 

a/n:  Hi! I received lots of love in the first part and I want to thank you guys so much. I haven’t been having the greatest week and that really cheered me up. I rarely do second parts but here you guys go. Ps. There is also another part coming soon. 

warning: English isn’t my main language. Angsty and kinda sad. Not edited

[MASTERLIST]

part one.  part three part four part five

Family dinners. 

You either love them or hate them. Good food, people you love and drama all bottled up on a dining room table at around six thirty pm. An nightly event that could either ruin your night or make a beautiful memory for the future. There was no in between and by the looks of it, Y/n was getting the short end of the stick. 

The past two weeks had been a living hell for the girl. Trying to balance her regular life with her superhero life was barely impossible the past weeks.  She had been Spiderman for years now and she had managed to balance both of her lives with ease but now, she was losing it. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat, she couldn’t focus. Y/n had never felt like this, even when her uncle died she didn’t feel as bad as she felt right now. Her spider senses didn’t have to tell her that something bad was going to happen at this dinner, her common sense already told her that. It wouldn’t surprise her if Doc Ock would enter through the door and make a big fiasco but she thought that it would be better than standing in this uncomfortable silence. No one dared to say anything which was rare with both of the families. They usually would fight to shut people up making even more ruckus but right now the only thing you could hear was the metal of the spoons scraping off the plates and the wall on the clock. No one said a word and that drove Y/n insane. She could feel her eyelids flutter shut as she thought of the last two weeks. 

The Justice League had  been all up her ass making her work even more than usual. Not even the titans were working as much as her. Don’t get her wrong, she loved crime fighting but criminals in Palmera weren’t as scary as the ones in Gotham. She would prefer having to deal with people stealing a croissant  at a cafe than having to deal with one of the Joker's bombs. It was great that Batman trusted her with big missions but she needed a break.  Gotham wasn’t for her and quite frankly she didn’t understand how Jaime was capable of staying there for so long.  Gotham was hell and that drove her on the brick of insanity, maybe she would turn into the Joker of Palmera because at this point she was losing it as much as him. Y/n was starting to regret accepting the honorary position in the Justice League. She was in between cities Gotham, Metropolis and Palmera. Palmera, Metropolis, Gotham. 

To make matters even worse, Villains in Palmera were multiplying by the minute thanks to Blue Beetle’s  appearance and to make her life even more difficult Blue Beetle was MIA. No one had heard a word from him. She hadn’t personally met him but ever since he had shown up her life got even more difficult, so long story short she wasn't the biggest Blue Beetle fan. Since he was MIA Spiderman had to fight her “arch nemesis” plus the ones Blue Beetle had managed to bring to Palmera. Y/n knew the media was against her but she also knew that the people of Palmera counted on her. People like her family needed to be protected, there  couldn’t be more deaths like Uncle Ben’s. She wouldn’t allow that, so even if she had to lose her sanity and her life, Y/ was going to do the impossible to keep Palmera safe.  

Those problems were only the spiderman one’s. If her life as Spiderman was rough Y/n’s  life was ten feet underground. She was failing classes left and right, barely keeping up due to the fact that she was in between cities. She couldn’t talk to Jaime that night which made him completely ignore her. Aunt Marisol started acting weird around her, like she knew something she didn’t.  The Reyes family had to stop the construction due to some new laws that were happening and the tip of the iceberg, Milagro knew Y/n’s secret and she was eager to tell someone. 

Y/n wasn’t okay. Well she never was. Even though she was an orphan, Aunt Marisol and Uncle Ben made her life good, they raised her as their own and gave her a good life. They worked hard for her to get to where she was at in life.  She was okay before she was bitten. Y/n had a normal life with aspirations. She had friends and family that loved her. She was doing well in highschool and she was on her way to get a degree. She was starting her relationship with her best friend and would fantasize about having a family with Jaime. And right now, at the age of twenty two she was losing everything she worked hard for with a blink of an eye. They were in depth, she was failing school, she was going insane, she didn’t know where she stood with Jaime and Uncle Ben was dead. All because she was bitten by a radioactive spider. Scratch that, all because she didn’t have the capability of balancing her two lives. 

Before she could even go half way through her inner monologue her thoughts got broken by her head slamming against the hard wooden table waking her up immediately while also gaining everyone's attention. Her tired eyes scanned around the table straddle. Everyone was aware and used to the constant lack of sleep from her behalf but watching the dark eyebags and the food that was barely touched made them worry. Y/n noticed the multiple pair of pity eyes staring at her so she kept on looking around trying to see something different and that when she saw it. Milagros' eyes looked deep into her soul. It was worrying to Y/n already the fact that at any moment Milagro could spill the beans of her secret but the look on Y/n’s face made her scared. She was going to tell them, Y/n was dead. 

After managing to avoid the family for the past two weeks, everything was going down while they were attempting to have a nice family dinner. If she survived this she was going to remember this as the downfall of family dinners. 

Y/n glared  at Milagro  as she slowly shook her head not wanting for her to say a word. Y/n had hid her identity for years and she was successful. She never missed a beat and no one suspected a thing. But because she slipped one time, every secret she held was ruined. 

“Okay! Since no one wants to address the elephant in the room I will…” Milagro started but before she could continue. Y/n slammed her hand on the table getting up quickly, gaining everyone's attention.

“This food is amazing. You guys really ate with this. Have I told you how good you have gotten at cooking? Nana and Rocio really have helped you a lot. We should all get cooking classes so we could all make really good food like this one. We could maybe even open a food store, because from the looks of it, I might drop out of grad school. I don’t know, cooking school would probably eat. See, I’m good at telling cooking jokes. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? ” Y/n said quickly  as she picked up a glass of water gulping it down. Everyone stared at her with wide eyes trying to comprehend what was happening but before anyone could say a thing, her Aunt got up from her chair looking at her with angry eyes. 

“ Que tu me estas tratando de decir, Y/n. After everything we’ve done for you, you are going to tell me that you are failing school?”  

“No, tampoco así. Solo es que… I took two weeks off and now I’m a little behind on school but I can catch up on it now since I don’t have a job” She said quickly while closing her eyes not ready to see her aunt's face. Nana gasped as she heard the words escaping from her lips. 

“What do you mean you don’t have a job? What happened to your job at the Daily Bugle.” Aunt May exclaimed, passing a hard roughly through her hair. 

“Well, they didn’t like the fact that I took two weeks of work?” She said gulping hard not wanting to  dig herself a bigger grave.

“What? Do you think money grows on trees, Y/n! We are not rich. We can barely afford to pay rent let alone bring food to the table and you have the decency to tell me that you lost your job and that your failing school like it’s just a little game. This is real life and Ben and I risked a lot of things you could have the life you have right now. We took you in andmade you our own and this is how you repay us? These past few weeks I’ve seen a side of you I’ve never seen and Dios que feo es. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it has to stop right  now. Disappearing to God knows where, ditching school, ignoring your family, ignoring Jaime. Have you looked at yourself for a minute in the mirror? I don’t recognize the women you’ve become and quite frankly this wasn’t the way I raised you and I bet Ben wouldn’t even recognize you too” Aunt Marisol yelled sternly as Y/n stared at her tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Y/n could feel her watch buzzing but all she could hear was her aunt's voice echoing through her head. 

She screwed up and she screwed up big time. It didn’t take long for her to push her chair back and walk towards her room. As she went up the stairs she could hear hush voices talking at the table. Y/n could feel a lot of emotions right now, but most importantly she felt ashamed and embarrassed.  Y/n was fucking up her life by the minute and everyone could see it but her.  She tried her best to block it out as she entered her bed letting a loud cry onto her pillow.  She raised her head from the pillow tapping her hand against her nightstand to pick up a small compact mirror. She looked at the reflection not recognizing who was staring back at her. Aunt Marisol was right, she couldn’t even recognize herself.  She had lost herself and all her hard work. 

Y/n felt once again her watch buzzing which made her angrily throw it against the wall. She let herself drown with tears as her head fell one again on her pillow. Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice the tall frame enter her room and sit on the edge of the bed. Once his hands rubbed her back she felt her body tense up missing the familiar touch. She slowly raised her head from the pillow looking towards them, her eyes being completely swollen already. As she got up slowly sitting next to him, she played with her hands not daring to look  him in the eyes. 

“Jaime, please listen to me when I say this. I know I’ve been acting weird and I know I’ve been a bad girlfriend. I’ve been ignoring you. But I really can’t lose you, you are the one person that keeps me sane and I know things are weird between us right now but trust me when I say this, I would never cheat on you. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I would never risk losing that. I love you so much Jaime. I-I I swear that wasn’t a hic…” Y/n said in between cries, but before she could even continue Jaime pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. Y/n cried into his chest as he rubbed her hair. 

“Y/n, I trust you. I don’t know what you're going through right now. Pero te quiero ayudar. I love you so much and it hurts me to see you like this. Even though everyone is saying that they can't recognize you, I still see that beautiful girl I’ve been in love with since forever. You’re Y/n, the caring and loveable girl that would do anything for her family. The girl that is obsessed over romance books and loves to write.  You are Y/n L/n the light to this world, to my world” Jaime said as he pulled Y/n’s chin up placing a kiss on her lips. She missed this, she missed being this close with Jaime. She remembered why she started doing this in the first place, so that Palmera could be safe so they could live the life they deserved and worked for. 

“Jaime, I wanted to tell you. I’m sp…” Before she could continue Milagros slammed the door open making the couple let go of themselves. 

“Hey! I’m sorry to ruin your little moment but Doctor Octopus just came through our front door! And he got Aunt Marisol!” 

part 3.

[MASTERLIST]

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

People have pointed out how triKnives keeping the corpses of his sisters/plants shows how truly dismissive and exploitative of them - and by extension Vash - he is, but I don’t really see it as that. (from one angle yes, the case can certainly be made that him tacking up the dead bodies of his own kin around his piano room shows how fucked in the head he is, but there’s more layers to it) Tristamp Knives is different from other iteration in that he is both more vulnerable and more colder than his counterparts. This is the boy that held his hand out to Rem. The boy who was screaming for someone to save sister plants. The boy who gifted his brother a gun so the brother could kill from a distance. The boy who was screaming “how many times will you steal him?” The boy still desperately pleading while he was burning to death, so on and so forth. But yet, he distances himself from humanity in a way ‘98 and trimax Knives doesn't. And he says he keeps the body of his sister suspended there to remind him, and I think that’s what it actually is. Because, what did he need to remind himself of? He didn’t have the corpses there before he witnessed the Last Run. And sometime after the Last Run, after he cut off Vash’s arm and lost his brother for the second time, is when he puts up the bodies. He could have had doubts, he could have had regrets, even for a person so strong in their convictions. Seeing the plants die all at once changed him, being rejected by Vash changed him, and Knives was still very young then. He could have faltered, could second-guessed himself, could have despaired of ever making the change he wanted, and then became ashamed of his weakness and did something drastic to hold himself to account. Like, yeah, hanging up his dead siblings. Because if there’s one thing Knives does, is do something drastic when confronted with an Issue. And also, there’s something else to consider, maybe it’s a twisted way of honoring his sisters. Of letting them stand free of their glass prisons in death.  Knives must of taken the bodies he displays from the plants after the Last Run, because the bodes are black and burnt, but hundreds of other plants also died, and what happened to their bodies? They aren’t just sick like the red plants still living in their glass tubes, they’re dead. Because, what are the funerary rites for plants? There probably aren't any at all. They’re probably disposed of as bio-organic waste. Did Knives lay the others to rest somehow, or did Knives just dispose of them and just kept those odd four or five back out of all of them, because he managed to keep those at least? Is the one hanging over his piano the one he tries to touch in July? They’re dead, but he can keep them safe in his room. They’re dead, but at least he can give them the company of another plant, himself. They’re dead, but they remind him he’s not to let this happen again. They’re black and burnt and dead, and so will Vash be in every way that matters, but he’ll be safe, and Knives will keep him company. Yeah, maybe displaying bodies in such a way is outwardly extremely exploitative, but one of Knives’ greatest flaws is how he crosses over to the side he despises to ensure he and his are not hurt by that side. His Hannibal Lecter piano room decor is fucked up way of honoring his dead, and as he says, reminding himself that he needs to do what has to be done. 

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 43 Glazing

Just. Wow. Where to begin, dear void? It's hard not to post full pages from this absolute gut punch of a chapter... what a perfect way to hit the climax of this arc. I guess it's appropriate to talk about Hakuri and Mr. Proceeder himself before anything else. A bit of irony first... Hakuri gets his dad, but Kyoura didn't get him until it was too late.

I know this is most likely trauma speaking for Shiba and the other war vet, but they're right. Kyoura's in his death throes right now, everything's gone to shit, but...

... they're underestimating him and his fanaticism to the clan's tradition. Everyone is, and I don't blame them- Magatsumi's freaky as fuck even sheathed. Except there's one person who knows just how strong Kyoura's will is...

... and is going to use it to make sure every last person is saved.

Hakuri really is his father's son. And I'm just in fucking awe that Chihiro's insanity is on their level. It takes one crazy person to perfectly harmonize with another after only knowing each other for a week, I guess. I wonder if we'll see that part of their dynamic explored at all... deprogramming Hakuri so he's not just replacing fanatic devotion to the Rakuzaichi/Sazanami Clan with Chihiro's cause or something? I'll keep the Hakuri agendaposting to a minimum (for me) but c'mon, wouldn't it be awesome to hear Chihiro echo his dad's words from Ch. 14 to encourage Hakuri to grow and find his own identity? 'Cause, y'know:

Ch. 1 vs 43

"Your best would have been believing in Hakuri" is recalled for the fourth time for a reason. If you haven't caught on by now, it's not too late: Kyoura was a shitty dad and Chihiro took that personally. And it was the one fatal flaw that doomed a man with a will of adamant. 'Cause holy shit man, even though I'm glad this dude is dead, I respect the fuck out of him. He overcame the influence of the scariest of all the WMDs Kunishige made and died as himself, regrets and ego fully intact. I applaud Hokazono-sensei for making me feel for this guy without redeeming him.

I cannot say this strongly enough: Kyoura was a victim who perpetuated his own abuse. He couldn't break the cycle even though his wife's bitter dying words left him yearning for the family he could have had. It's not clear if it's a true flashback or a vision of what could have been, but the dinner table scene being shattered by the memory of Kyoura's father telling him to lead the clan is art. Another mangaka might have reversed the order so we see him being indoctrinated first and wistful second. Just for those pity points and to twist the knife a little. But no, Kyoura is completely unrepentant to the last. The only thing he yields on is throwing Hakuri away. Not his conviction to put the Rakuzaichi above his family, nor ignoring his wife's final words. His dying regret wasn't even purely being the world's worst dad. It was mixed with the fact that he failed to secure the success of the goddamn auction by misjudging his "worthless" son. To the very end, Kyoura lived as the Sazanami patriarch.

His parting words to Chihiro have me going absolutely insane too. They're an indication that yeah, finally, he gets it. He was a bad father and he reaped the consequences. His other two sons are dead because of him, and the one he mistreated finally surpassed him after all.

Chapter 39 vs. 43

[screaming softly] aaaaaaaaahhhhh

The whole world disappears as Hakuri is finally the only worthy person in his view. His greatest shame looks down on him taking his last breaths and only now does he feel the magnitude of his mistakes. Because Hakuri never did anything wrong to begin with; Kyoura himself failed the family and the clan. He lays down the sword, choosing to die as himself rather than keep fighting the Magatsumi's wielder to the bitter end. It's time to admit he was wrong.

And thus the cycle is broken at last.

Smaller Observations

More food imagery yay!

We never see Mrs. Sazanami's face. I wonder if there's going to be a Lost Mother arc for Hakuri in addition to Chihiro's. We know she's dead, but I saw a theory floating around that maybe she was more affectionate to Hakuri than his siblings to compensate for the abuse he was enduring. Soya's obsession with him "staying lovable" would have started from this. I think Soya was just irredeemably broken and cruel, but it's interesting to think about!

She's not even close to eating at the table, looks like she might have just sat down after putting out all the dishes or something. A caretaker who didn't participate in the family's joy is my guess (based on her monologue in the hospital flashback).

Soya can't let Hakuri have nice things even in this happy vision of the family

Braidbro and Sazasis aren't here, so I think there's a "core" family that Hakuri et. al. were part of and branch families that still carried the Sazanami genes but weren't in contention for running the show. The nameless kids that greeted Kyoura upon his return to the estate in chapter 22 also called him "father" so is it a title thing, or maybe Kyoura just had a bunch of concubines and one main wife? Inquiring minds want to know.

Speaking of Chapter 22, actually...

The auction house is in Tokyo but the actual Sazanami estate is somewhere remote and secluded. The backgrounds in the table scene are more reminiscent of an apartment in an urban setting:

So I'm gonna lean on this particular scene being a "what if" rather than a true flashback. But it's still vague enough to be open to interpretation. Now I'm super curious about how Hakuri ended up in the city to meet his fated samurai though... another thing to headcanon a scenario for I suppose.

Arraigned marriage... to ensure that Isou was passed on? A business relations agreement with another family? A deal to let her avoid being sold as merchandise? Why are there so many dead/missing moms in Kagurabachi anyway?

I think I have a slightly different interpretation of events here than most will, but I'll try to explain. The subspace collapsed into nothingness as Chihiro reached for the last person, so no one could be yeeted out any more. They managed to pull everyone out in time yay! Chihiro's safe too, yay! But while Hakuri put all the other people outside of the auction house, Chihiro ended up on the stage. I believe this is by Hakuri's design rather than Chihiro being placed at random. This is a huge moment for all three characters involved and it's absolutely enhanced by the understatement of the art. Kyoura finally admitting Chihiro was right is immensely powerful catharsis for us and our samurai, and that's definitely the perspective we're meant to see it from first But my boy Hakuri put him there to hear it. He violated the sanctity of the auction instead of bringing Chihiro out closer to himself and Shiba for the getaway. Fuck this family and it's tradition. It's DONE. The Rakuzaichi and Sazanami legacy are tarnished for good; Hakuri made sure of it. Maximum feels for our boy finally eradicating this loathsome event at every level!

And finally, last but certainly not least:

Hiyuki continues to be best girl, as expected. She's put off by the insanity on display from Chihiro, Kyoura, and Hakuri but it it also grounds her a bit. She can't let innocents die, so she chooses to protect Hakuri. I love her so much and I hope she can give him shit about threatening to leave her in the storehouse forever one day.

As an aside, after learning that Hokazono-sensei is a fan of Arcane I can't help but think of Hiyuki as a Vi expy. If she is, I hope she's pan, bi, or a lesbian. I love strong, badass hot-headed women who love women. I don't mind her being endgame with Chihiro either but the idea of seeing her get flustered over Hinao in a swimsuit lives rent free in my head, y'know? Her personality archetype begs to be lightly teased by seeing a hot girl and instantly losing 70 IQ.

...Anyway.

What happens from here on out is anyone's guess. We knew about the Rakuzaichi auction as early as chapter 7 but there's nothing set up for the future as of now. Whether or not Team Goldfish manage to recover the Shinuchi (betting they won't), I think we will take a bit of a break after the next chapter. We definitely need a lull to let the characters heal and breathe before building up the next arc.

My best guess is that we'll have downtime for a chapter or so before a lead for another sword is found to set up the next mission. So far we've explored Death of the Author and Generational Trauma... what's going to be next? I can't wait! I never expected themes like this to be explored so thoughtfully and thoroughly in a WSJ series...! For the first time in a long time I'm not just reading an action manga with some mature themes. I'm reading some really insightful commentary on the nature of legacy, trauma, and family dynamics that happens to have the best fight choreography I've ever seen. Truly tenoi.

[g0blintears]

Dark Devotion [Yandere! Dead By Daylight x Reader]

Summary: You are a mystery to both the survivors and killers within the fog. A servant of darkness, a creature created by the entity itself, you are the shadow behind the scenes that provides the survivors with the necessities they need to survive, while also assisting killers with the weapons they need to sacrifice. You are a servant void of humanity, but not one that seeks out despair. An empty slate that perhaps just needs to be taught a little bit of hope and empathy to help the survivors escape once and for all.

Two. Self Preservation

A cold, winter breeze brushed through her short, silver locks. The freezing temperatures nipped at her pale skin and her breaths came out shallow and quick. Running out from the abandoned cabin lodge, Yun-Jin continued to sprint across the snowy grounds and make her way towards the flashing red light that blinked just a few feet away.

Almost there. She was almost there.

As she got closer, Yun-Jin could feel her heartbeat begin to thump rapidly against her chest. A deep,sinister laugh could be heard from behind the mound near the doors followed by rushing footsteps. Her brown eyes widened in fear. She wanted to turn back. She wanted to run away, perhaps find the other doors. But if she were to turn around, he was certainly going to kill her. 

The hex: ‘no one escapes death’ was still active and she had searched high and low to find it, but her search came down to nothing. She had no idea where the other survivors were, and the exit gates in front of her were point blank to being open. She didn’t have much time to think about it. The exit gates were right there. One second left on the door, and if she was quick enough, she was certain she could make it. 

She could only hope the others were already at the second exit. 

Rushing past the mound, Yun-Jin quickly grabbed the rusted steel handle and flicked down the switch. In an instant, the doors began to shrill and slowly open.

A smile almost made its way to her lips, however, her sense of security left upon hearing a scream come from behind. Looking over her shoulder, Yun-Jin felt her heart plummet to her stomach upon seeing the brunette botanist, known as Claudette, fall to the ground just a few feet away. Yun-Jin could only watch in horror as a familiar man with slicked back silver hair and bright golden hues walked in with a short swing of his bat. 

Yun-Jin looked at the exit and then back at the botanist. She wanted to run up to the woman and heal her, but she was terrified at the same time. Should she just leave? Her eyes looked over at the woman who had been assisting her in the trials so far. She had been nothing but kind and helpful to her. No, she could not just up an abandon her. Not like she did back then. 

Yun-Jin took a hesitant step forward. She thought about running up to the woman and helping her up, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t fight off the little devil that told her to just run away. Leave her and escape while you still can. She hated having these thoughts, but could anyone really blame her?

Fortunately, she didn’t have to dwell on those thoughts any longer, because as soon as she made eye contact with Claudette, the young botanist silently told with her fearful brown eyes a single word.

Don’t.

So Yun-Jin stood by the exit, watching helplessly as the killer let out a loose laugh. He swung his bat away and took out multiple blades, each one suddenly stabbed into Claudette’s body. Yun-Jin felt her stomach tie into a knot, the young woman’s screams echoing out into the cold, open air, but there was nothing she could do but watch in despair. 

Once her screams died into nothingness, Yun-Jin moved her eyes away from Claudette’s corpse. Her attention then transferred over to the deranged man that hovered over the botanist with gleam in his sadistic golden eyes. That man…he was one of Yun-Jin’s greatest successes, but also one of her greatest regrets. Wearing a long yellow coat and magenta colored pants, the male known by his stage name “The Trickster” stood just a few feet away from her, with an unnerving smile curved on his lips. He looked happy, too happy for someone who just brutally murdered an innocent woman.

Why? Why is that deranged man like this? How did she not see the signs before arriving here?! If it wasn’t for him…

Yun-Jin glared in anger and disgust. Although she stared spitefully, the man paid no attention to her unwavering sneer. Instead, the trickster, also known as Ji-Woon Hak, grabbed a flimsy piece of paper out of his coat pocket. Without sparring another glance, he carelessly flicked the photocard at the brunette’s corpse. 

“Thank you for watching my performance.”

His deep, playful voice spoke out. Ji-Woon’s bright golden hues then gazed over at Yun-Jin with a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. Although his words were supposed to be aimed at Claudette, his gaze never left Yun-Jin’s form, causing a feeling of dread wash over her. All feelings of anger faded into fear as the man slowly began to saunter his way to the exit gates. 

Without another thought, Yun-Jin quickly turned around and ran through the exit gates. She didn’t stop running, not even when she felt her body pass through the portal that would separate her from the killer. She just kept running and running, not daring to turn around until she was sure she was safe from the deranged idol.

As she ran, the once snow filled scenery morphed into hazy darkness. Fog filled the air and a dark mist began to surround her vision. Yun Jin closed her eyes. She could feel the tears begin to slowly slide down her cheek. Her mind could not forget those piercing golden eyes or that chilly, deep laugh that echoed freely in her mind. And her thoughts could certainly not forget Claudette’s sacrifice. 

How did things come to this? What did she do in her past life to be sent to this hell? And worst of all, why the hell is he here too? Was this god’s punishment to her? Is this her karma for leaving the building without another thought? Was it so wrong for her to think of her own survival in that very instant? 

She had no idea why she was sent here…but she did know one thing. She wasn’t here alone.

Upon appearing from within the swirls of black mist, Yun-Jin walked by the towering pine trees and made her way into the dim lit opening ahead. Emerging from the forest, the first thing Yun-Jin’s eyes landed on was a large, open campsite. The place was set up in sections with one side having rows of cabins lined up side by side, and the other side opened with wooden tables and a single large campfire pit surrounded by log benches.

Walking further into the camp, Yun-Jin looked around at the many survivors that either sat alone or talked amongst themselves in different groups. Some of them would ignore her, while others simply glanced up and gave a nod of acknowledgement, and a few watched her carefully, as though she herself was a killer in disguise. Pursing her lips, Yun-Jin glanced around awkwardly, her eyes searching for any signs of a friendly face. 

Since arriving, the silver haired woman didn’t really get to know many of the other survivors. Most seemed to prefer being alone while others looked like they couldn’t be bothered. Of course it wasn’t as though everyone was heartless to newcomers. When she first arrived, Yun-Jin was greeted by a few of the survivors that had been there the longest, specifically: Dwight and Claudette. The two approached her gently and explained everything to her. 

It was unbelievable at first, but once she survived her first trial followed by the next two, the nightmare finally settled in. She was stuck in this hellish cycle with a bunch of strangers that met a similar fate as herself. At this point, she could only rely on herself and her friends to survive. 

Well, if she had friends. 

The only person who had been talking to her so far was Claudette, and she was dead. Well, for now that is. Yun-Jin didn’t quite understand the whole ‘revival’ concept, but she knew Claudette wasn’t actually ‘dead’ dead. However, she didn’t know how long it took for her to come back. For all she knew, it would be a while before the brunette botanist returned.

Looking around, Yun-Jin’s eyes landed on a small group of survivors sitting by the fire pit. She recognized one of the survivors as someone who had briefly introduced herself while being shown around the campsite. Feng Min? Yeah, that was her name. She seemed nice enough, and the group around her seemed to be a good start. 

Deciding to broaden her connections with the other survivors, Yun-Jin made her way to the group.

As she got closer, she could hear some of them talking, others joking, followed by some snickers of laughter. Yun-Jin wasn’t usually a nervous person, but among the group of survivors who had known each other for what she assumed to be quite some time, she couldn’t help but feel a bit out of her element. 

Standing by the group, Yun-Jin cleared her throat, catching all of their attention.

“May I sit with you all?” she asked. 

The group looked at her, some surprised while others welcomed her with a small smile. The first to respond was the young woman with short black hair pulled back into a tight bun, and a blue uniform shirt and shorts. 

“Knock yourself out.” 

Yun-Jin gave a tight lipped smile, “Thank you.”

Pulling down her skirt, the silver haired woman took a seat by a man with dirty blonde hair pushed back into a combover with faded grey eyes wearing a dark blue coat and pants. He briefly looked up at her. A small, welcoming smile tugged at his lips, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. She could understand as much, but nonetheless she was grateful for his brief sense of welcome before he turned back to reading the book in his hands.

“So, you’re the new survivor, huh?” A woman with tan skin, short brown hair with long layered bangs and multiple piercings on her ears, spoke out. She wore a light brown leather jacket, dark blue jeans, and had a red colored scarf wrapped loosely around her neck. She sent her a grim smile, “Can’t exactly say welcome since no one really wants to be here, but I hope you’ve been adjusting well. I’m Zarina Kassir.”

The black haired woman from before waved her hand, “We briefly met, but you probably forgot since it gets kinda crazy when you first arrive, but I’m Feng Min”

“No, no. I remember. It’s nice to meet you- all of you.” Yun-Jin emphasized, receiving small smiles from the group. 

“I’m Adam Francis, it’s nice to meet you as well.” Said a black man with dark brown eyes and midnight black hair styled into a high top fade. He wore a white collared shirt, a dark grey tie tucked inside a grey vest and a long, worn down lab coat. The man gave a low chuckle, “Would’ve been better anywhere but here, but it’s still nice to meet you.”

Yun-Jin nodded, her eyes then moved to the man at her side that closed his book with a short chuckle.

“I see we’re introducing ourselves.” He spoke, his faded grey orbs looking over at her with another tight but warm smile. “Felix Richter.”

Yun-Jin would be lying if she said she wasn’t stunned at how quick they were to welcome her. Feeling a sense of belonging, she smiled gratefully at the group before her. “I’m Yun-Jin Lee. I hope you all take care of me.” It was without words that the others thought the same exact thing. 

“So, you just had your third trial, yeah?” Min asked, to which Yun-Jin nodded. The dark haired woman gapped at her, “Wow that’s amazing. No offense, but I’m surprised you escaped three times in a row. For a rookie, it’s kind of hard to do.”

“It’s mostly because I’ve had others help me.” Yun-Jin admitted, “The botanist woman, Claudette? She’s been in all of my trials so far, and has been a great help to me.” Yun-Jin suddenly grimaced, remembering the woman’s screams as though they were right in her ear. A pang of guilt struck her heart. “She even sacrificed herself for me. She said she was going to ‘ninety-nine’ a door and if it blinks to run to it. It was her second hook and I hadn’t been hooked at all that trial. I could’ve- I could’ve done something but I didn’t.” 

The group looked over her with sympathetic eyes, each one of them remembering a time when a teammate would sacrifice themselves so they could escape. 

“It doesn’t get any easier, but she’ll come back. The more you learn, the easier the trials will be, and the better you get, the less sacrifices will be made. Just remember she’ll come back.” Zarina attempted to comfort, but Yun-Jin just couldn’t shake off the guilt. It was like that time all over again. 

Lost in her own thoughts, the others gave her time to think and began to talk amongst themselves once more. As they spoke, Yun-Jin was cut short of her thoughts upon hearing a familiar soft spoken voice. Looking up, she watched as a pretty blonde woman held onto one of the hands of one of her fellow survivors. She recognized the confused looking woman as the one that had died just before the exit gates had opened. It was Claudette. 

“Claudette!” She jumped, her eyes brimmed with tears of joy. However, that soon washed away when the botanist looked at her in confusion. 

“Hello, do I know you?”

The blonde holding Claudette’s hand shook her head.

“Sorry, doll. She doesn’t have her memories quite yet, but give her some time and she’ll remember everything.” The woman explained before guiding Claudette away from the campfire and over to the rows of cabins. 

As the duo walked away, Yun-Jin gazed over at their disappearing forms in disbelief. Her eyes then trailed over to the group of survivors, but they went on chatting as though what happened was just another everyday occurrence. 

Sitting back down on the log, Yun-Jin stared off at the distance with a fearful expression written across her features. “How could she forget what happened?” She uttered. 

The others in the group looked back at her. 

“It happens when we die in the trials.” Min answered, her face twisting into anger. “Apparently the entity feeds on us so when we die and get sent back to the trials, we have no recollection of any of this.” She then motioned her hand to the entire campsite. “That way we have a more ‘fighting spirit’ to escape.” The woman then snorted, “Well, we sure did learn the hard way.”

“What do you mean by ‘feeds’?”

“The entity feeds on our strong emotions, especially hope.” Adam cut in. The tall man then rubbed his hands together, his dark brown eyes moved away from the fire pit to meet Yun-Jin fearful gaze. “That’s why we have short term memory loss. That way if we go back into the trials and escape, we are left in anguish upon thinking that we ever had a chance of leaving.”

“This place is worse than any hell. Even the devil himself wouldn’t want to be here.” Zarina muttered, but her words were heard from the rest of the group. The others stayed silent, all having the same thought in mind.

“What did I do to deserve this?”

Zarina looked at her with a pitiful smile, “Don’t beat yourself up. We’re all in this together.”

Yun-Jin furrowed her brows, her eyes glaring into the fire with angry tears glossing over her brown orbs, “It’s not fair! There has to be a way out of here!” She shouted, her eyes moving from one survivor to the next, hoping one of them would give her a hopeful look, but her heart dropped upon seeing them all avoid her gaze.

Min was the first to respond, a sarcastic, airy laugh leaving her lips. “Ha, yeah. If there was a way, we would’ve left by now.”

Yun-Jin pursed her lips. Crossing one leg over the other, she rested her chin on her hand and gazed out at the line of cabins with furrowed brows. She wondered why she was sent here. Her thoughts spiraling into a single thought, there had to be a way out of here.

As she stared out at the cabins, one of the doors swung open. Emerging from the medical cabin, Dwight stepped out onto the porch with a bashful expression. His face was tinted red and he was rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous smile placed on his lips. 

Yun-Jin raised a brow, observing as the anxious man took a few steps back, allowing you to enter the scene. 

Wearing a white button up shirt, black tie, and a matching black coat and pants that hugged your [body type] frame, you suddenly appeared in Yun-Jin’s line of sight looking perfect and poise. [Hair length] [hair color] hair that complimented your [skin tone] face. Dull [eye color] eyes that looked as blank as the night sky. You stood in front of Dwight with a vacant expression written on your flawless face. 

Yun-Jin had to admit, you were attractive. Extremely attractive. However, there was something about you that didn’t sit right with her. You always looked empty. Perhaps even lost. Not a thought seemed to go through your mind as others would speak to you, or when you were wandering around the campsite. You were just there.

“What about them?” She asked, catching everyone’s attention. Their eyes then followed hers that trailed across the camp over to you.

Upon seeing who she was referring to, Min couldn’t help but utter out, “The servant of evil?” To which got her a nudge to her rib and a hushed ‘Min!’ from Zarina. 

“Ow! What? That’s literally what they are. It’s not like they care if we talk shit about them. That thing has no feelings.” The others sighed. 

“What about them?” Adam changed the topic, his eyes looking back over to Yun-Jin.

“Do they know how to leave this place?”

Zarina hummed, “Most likely, but it’s not like that matters. They wouldn’t tell us.”

Yun-Jin sat up, a bit more curious as she looked at the others, but her gaze always faltered back to you. “Why not?”

“Because they are the entity’s servant.” Min responded, “When we became more self aware, we tried everything to pry information out of them, but they wouldn’t budge. We pleaded, cried, we even tried to threaten to harm them, but they still wouldn’t budge.”

“Have you tried rationalizing with them?”

At this, Adam scoffed. “Rationalize? How can you rationalize with something that doesn’t feel?”

“I mean, have you tried?” Yun-Jin looked over at the group. “You say they serve the entity, but that’s it, right? Has it tried to seek out your despair?”

The others gazed among themselves. They each looked at one another, each one of their thoughts attempting to recollect a time when you would be devious or cunning, but they could only draw blanks.

Adam shook his head. “No, but they’re not actively looking out for us either.”

“But maybe they can.” 

Min pursed her lips, thinking over Yun-Jin’s words. Her dark brown orbs gazed over at you, watching as you interacted with Dwight. Although you had never helped the survivors outright, you never seemed to show detest for them as well. You just gave them materials, healed them, and kept them alive. Now that she thought about you, you weren’t on a single “side”. You were just there.

“You might be onto something.” 

Adam looked at her in bewilderment, “Min, you can’t be serious.”

“Yun-Jin’s right. They move like an NPC.”

Felix gave Feng a quizzical expression, “A what?”

Min rolled her eyes, “In video game terms, a non playable character. Someone there to be in the background to assist the player with items or short information, but that’s it.”

“So what? Do we give it feelings? How does that work?” Zarina asked to which Min shook her head.

“No, we teach it to be more human. If we teach them empathy, love, hope, maybe they can help us. It’ll be like rewiring their code to do more than just serve the entity. We could turn it to our side and we will have something over the killers, and possibly even escape.”

“That’s ridiculous, it’ll never work!” Adam exclaimed, but Yun-Jin shook her head in protest. 

“You guys don’t know that.”

Zarina crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes watching as you continued to converse with Dwight. She never thought of you in any other way other than being there to serve the entity and keep the other survivors in check. She never once thought of the possibility that there was more to you than what you let on. Perhaps, well, just maybe you could be their ticket out of the realm. 

“I say we give it a shot.” She spoke, her eyes gazing at the others with a flicker of light gleaming in her dark brown eyes. “I mean, what do we have to lose? We die? Death would at least be a forever release from this place.” 

Adam looked at Zarina and the others, exasperatedly. He wasn’t exactly sure how this would work out, but if the others were confident, then just maybe it was okay to have a little sense of hope. With a sigh, he reluctantly nodded. “Okay, but we just can’t come to this out of nowhere. They’ll get suspicious. After all, they are still loyal to the entity.”

“So we try this with people who know them the most.” Zarina explained, but Felix looked confused. 

“And who would that be?”

Yun-Jin smiled, her eyes moving over to the anxious leader who stood before you with a red face and a nervous smile. 

“The people who’ve been here the longest.”

[k-martins]

Hello.... What do you think are Fushiguro and Itadori’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Thanks if you want to answer....

Hello! Sorry for the delay in responding.

That's a good question, thanks for submitting it.

Well, I'll start with Yuji. I think his strong point (which was currently pointed out even by Sukuna) is his unshakable humanity. He is always willing to be a stronger version of himself, to evolve as a sorcerer and a person, to protect those he loves. No matter how many times Yuji falls, he will always get up and fight again to protect those he loves most. His willpower is impressive and one of the reasons why he hasn't lost control of his emotions yet, something Nanamin and Todo pointed out as being useless as a sorcerer (I felt like a proud mother seeing him fighting Sukuna so seriously, no. letting the memory of Nanami and Higuruma's "death" affect him, something that would have happened in his times in Shibuya.) I think this is what makes his character to the general public so good and easy to love.

Now, his weak point is certainly the great empathy he feels for people. Don't get me wrong, empathetic and kind characters are my favorites in any media, but Yuji takes it to a very high level. He feels guilty about things that are often not his fault directly (such as the large flow of curses that arose after he ate Sukuna's finger or the deaths caused in Shibuya). The empathy he feels for people makes him forget about saving his own skin (as happened in juvie, as Yuji sacrificed himself to save Megumi and Nobara and only managed to make things worse by, well, leaving sukuna free to kill him and cause harm to Megumi) and consequently puts her friends in danger. This is so real that even external characters have to state that he is not to blame, like Panda saying that Yaga died post-shibuya and Yuta hiding that Toge lost his arm when Sukuna expanded the domain, although it is pointless since Yuji is so trapped in the request from his grandfather who cannot bear to be responsible - directly and indirectly - for the deaths of innocent people.

In Megumi's case, I think his strong point is his wit and maturity. He is a very focused sorcerer who quickly analyzes situations and draws up logical plans to win. Even though she seems cold and distant, Megumi always thinks of others when he makes a plan and puts the safety of others above his own - something very similar to Yuji. His intelligence is what makes a character trustworthy, so much so that he was already going out on missions alone, he was praised by Nanami and Nobara and Yuji trust him a lot when it comes to having a plan. However, his weak point is, as Gojo said, his mentality. Megumi has serious self-esteem issues that end up affecting how he interacts with the other characters, remaining distant and stoic, and how he fights - always saving Mahoraga as a last resort because we know what happens when he summons him. He cannot see himself as powerful, so he does not fight much when facing a powerful enemy, using Mahoraga to secure a victory. He doesn't consider himself important to others, so much so that, despite thinking about Yuji when he's about to die in Shibuya, he doesn't regret his decision. This is Megumi's weakest point and it is for this reason that he still cannot suppress Sukuna like Yuji did. Megumi gave up everything when Tsumiki died (which is understandable) and is now just waiting for someone to kill Sukuna (I doubt he's waiting for salvation and I believe a "there's nothing left to be saved" moment could happen soon)

When it comes to dynamics, I love how Yuji and Megumi complement each other perfectly, which reflects in their fighting style. Megumi is a long-range fighter, while Yuji is a melee opponent. Yuji is muscular and Megumi is intelligent. And they're also a lot of fun to follow, both in battle and in their interactions. Going further, I really like how Yuji always claims that Megumi is someone who is smart, kind and trustworthy, valuing those little details that Megumi doesn't seem to notice (in fact, I really believe that Yuji is much more observant than most people he thinks, because that alone explains how he noticed Osawa's cute handwriting and the way she eats fish; my boy may be slow, but he's not a complete idiot). I also really like how Megumi always takes care of Yuji, whether it's making sure he's okay and thinking of ways so they don't have to kill in the slaughter game, and giving Yuji meaning to continue living ("so start by saving me, Itadori ", a real glue to repair the crack in Yuji's conviction and humanity).

Anyway, I think that's it. I'm a little tired because I woke up early lmao. Thanks again for submitting this question. It was fun and I love talking about my boys.

[immoralimmortals]

Hidan x Reader x Kakuzu headcanons

A note: the end paragraph is NSFW. Let's start with Kakuzu's perspective first:

In my head, Kakuzu is moronsexual...by accident. He's been around so long and is so jaded that the new and novel that manage to impress upon him really impresses upon him. That, unfortunately, also means that those people are fucking ridiculous.

Hidan: blood ritual sacrifice stabbing myself death death death Reader: bogos binted? Hidan: jashin be damned my girl can work a scythe Kakuzu:

In my fic, Kakuzu names the insert/reader Takara, which means Treasure. He also nicknamed her "duckling" and lives to regret it every day. It makes him feel so stupid. To love, for Kakuzu, means he must suffer...both in big ways and in small. The small ways are worse because they're less justifiable, less like grand selfless sacrifice.

The thing that bothers Kakuzu the most is that he isn't tearing the civilian apart when he gets mad, not like he's so infamous for. Frankly, it means he can't predict himself anymore, so in an ironic twist his lack of rage is making him uncomfortable, less sure of his own stitched skin. He finds excuses to hide himself away when she's most vulnerable.

He shows his affection in what is perhaps the most admirable but overlooked form: economic service. He wants the ones he love to be successful and stable, works hard to help this come to pass. In my writing, I have Kakuzu make the reader analog pursue a career in music performance at a quiet bar, supervising each night and making sure she gets her tips.

This also, perhaps unfortunately, puts him in control of finances. He is a very, very frugal man. He will not give you diamonds or frivolous things; he will make sure you are safe and warm and fed, and everything else is for emergencies and investment. You're a grown adult so whatever you do with whatever money you get directly is yours...but he will judge you and make his advice well known.

On Hidan's end...

I've mentioned before that I see him as very likely to have his ears perk at the mention of anything you may like. It doesn't matter how fucking stupid it is. He'll call it stupid but he'll do it / give it. Chocolate? Ten different kinds of bars of chocolate. There's dark, ruby, milk...what the hell do you like? Ok, he's going to get you ten more milk chocolate bars in specific. Be grateful.

Hidan has a very tenuous relationship with humanity, hence the whole religion about killing people thing. The foundation of your relationship with him has to have room for forgiveness there, some way or another. Normally civilians don't impress, but if you happen to catch his eye in the midst of a fight for your life...you have his attention. Bonus points if your attacker dies. Big turn on, gives you a reason to both be around and kept alive to indoctrinate.

I think he absolutely aches for someone to listen to him, both in the sense of Jashinism but also in a personal way. He's attention hungry; if you can listen to him, he will not only respect you but listen to you in kind. His greatest comfort is your listening ear, to sit by his side and simply understand. You calm him down, slow him down, and give him the closest semblance of peace he's ever known. It's a vast difference, peace and ecstasy. He isn't entirely sure what he feels about it.

Speaking of, he most definitely will eventually experience conflict, considering the scripture of Jashin to how he feels with you. A fellow Jashinist (or prospective one, to him) gradually becomes a lover. Does that make you his neighbor? Should you be dead? He will weigh the realities and figure out what his lord means to give you to him.

He values your independence. He wants you to make decisions for yourself and use your brain and heart to get what you want. If you're a follower type of person, he's going to nudge (see: shove) you off the path and out of your comfort zone every time. Once you gain his respect, you have more than enough room to judge him back (see: how he shares affection with Kakuzu).

Together:

Their desire for you contrasts on the surface but goes hand in hand in intent. Religion or money...either form, they want you to thrive and survive and succeed. They'll fight and bicker all hours of day, but at night they will always agree on you. You who brings Kakuzu hope, you who brings Hidan rest. They will kill for you, but more importantly...they'll learn how to live for you, instead of merely exist day by day. You teach them to get along better, eventually irking so very, very easily into mutual sparks of romance. They just needed some kindling instead of fucking gasoline on the fire, a mediator so they aren't just the north and south poles of a magnet failing to get close.

The competition is healthy in bed. They both have the same goal in mind- to spoil you- and though they may argue and tease and grumble, they learn not to let it get in the way. They get each other off but more so are enthralled with getting you off at the same time. Hidan likes to lick down your skin, reveling your shiver, hand sliding slowly down your waist, and Kakuzu likes to grip you nice and tight, with limbs and threads and all, gently but oh so firmly getting you just the way he wants you. But make no mistake: you have no control. You are theirs, theirs, theirs, to do with as they wish.

[tojikai]

Seeing all of these asks for pm made me reread it since it ended, and it think me of so many stuff

1. How was satoru like during the months they were apart and after the miscarriage

2. He did he feel about the miscarriage

3. Wil satoru ever let her go? Will he always love her?

4. Do they eventually get back together?

5. Will satoru always love reader

6. How were the weeks for him while y/n was recovering from her car accident

7. What was his thought process during those weeks and when the accident happened

8. Will he ever move on

9. Does he see himself in a rs or want to be in one

10. If he does will he always love y/n and be regretful etcc

11. What about suguru? :(((moving on and getting into a rs)

12. Will satoru ever get into a rs at some point and if so will he always love reader for than said partner?

Ngl i hope satoru forever regrets it and never moves on from y/n

I loveeee when characters remain single/never move on and they forever regret their decisions if they fuck up tbh

hi hellooo~ and yeah, im surprised (but happy) by the amount of questions abt pm that im getting now lmao i guess its bc it was temporarily discontinued then, the last few chapters were dropped in one go and i went missing after😭 i really enjoy looking back and answering your questions ~!!

he was a mess. he doesn't know where to start. shoko adviced him to leave it all to fate, and just work on himself but it was hard for him bc he knows that it's yn he wants to be w :((

he was devastated abt the miscarriage. he was looking forward to their first child just as much as yn. he had bought the baby some things that he hadn't shown yn bc he wanted it to be a surprise and going home from the hospital that day and seeing those things made him feel like something died inside him :(( it was one of the most painful things he has to endure alone.

if yn wishes, satoru would have to let her go, no matter how painful it is for him. he cant stand losing her but he also can't stand seeing her hurt bc of him. he will always love her. he will always want it to be yn. no matter where he ends up in life, he'd always find himself thinking of what could've been if he was w yn.

idkkkk it depends :">

always. he will always love yn. more than himself.

he was restless. something inside him is hurting. rie distracted him from it tho. but not enough to keep him from going to yn 🥹

aside from the fact that he regrets his actions and what he said in the party, he wanted to be w yn. he cant trust words, he wanted to stay w her and if possible watch over and take care of her.

he will, eventually, if they never get back together. life has to go on.

right now, no. he's waiting for yn.

he will always be regretful of what he did and what happened w his and yn's relationship. it's something he knows he cant take back but will always deeply regret.

even though suguru's busy and he's not someone who just falls in love w anyone, a rs is still possible for him rn bc he's already established his business and is mature enough to handle it.

getting into rs at some point..hmm after he meet yn and if he doesn't want him, he might get in a rs in the future. it'd be painful to start over w someone else when u know who u really want. yn will always be his truest, greatest love :'>

[voidandabyssal]

We’ve seen your interpretation of Horrortale, do you have anymore differences between canon/fanon with any other aus you’d like to share?

We'll do one of my favourite Au's, UnderSwap!!!!! (Also if you have suggestions for any nicknames for characters, excluding sans and papyrus, then send them in! I'm kinda stuck on most of them.)

Blue (US sans) is the older brother! The Sans are always the older brother, no matter the au or the dynamic between the skeleton brothers. It's one of the few constants of the multiverse!

Blue isn't like Blueberry. He's still an adult, but he holds a lot of energy and positivty towards people. He believes that everyone can be good no matter what!

He trains regularly with Alphys. Originally it was actually sparring, but Alphys eventually transfered it over to cooking lessons.

He doesn't have a lot of friends, a lot of the Monsters in Snowdin find him childish, or they don't like his energy. So despite his dreams of popularity and love, he really only has Alphys and his brother

He's desprete to join the royal guard, like, he camped outside Alphys door for a week, begging for a chance.

Stretch (US papyrus) is the younger brother, he's a quiet nerd. When he was a babybones, Blue had to practically drag him away from his books.

He used to work in the labs in Hotlands with Undyne, eventually switching to patroling with his brother, for unknown reasons.

He hangs around muffets alot, at this point he's probably made her the richest monster in the Underground, with how much money he spends there.

He has a lot of acquaintances but not many friends. He finds it easy to talk to people (Hint: just make them laugh with puns) but Stretch is very closed off. It takes a lot to break down his walls and get closer to him.

US Asgore is a terrible cook, he trys, really. But it's not the same as Toriels.

he does make a mean cup of tea tho

he's over three thousand years old! He was born just around the same time that humans started building up civilsations.

US Asgore wasn't royalty until he married Toriel.

Once on the surface, they do rekindle their love for each other.

Also he and Stretch get along. Stretch used to waste time outside the Ruins door practising puns. One day Asgore joined in and it became a daily thing.

Asgores lonely. He doesn't say it but he is. The Ruins monsters are intimdated by him and he can't leave the Ruins, in fear of having to face his ex-wife again

US Toriel is a woman of many regrets. She hates the position she's put herself and the rest of Monsterkind in. She hates the way she treated Asgore, the way she treated her family.

she gace each human child that fell Underground a slice of her cinnamon pie before she fought them. She wanted to make sure that they died full.

She's very stoic, US Toriel is a woman of little emotions and little words.

Most of her people haven't seen her in a long time. She mostly stays inside the throne room and her own room.

US Toriel has very heavy eye-bags, all those restless nights do a number on you.

Although she is a very good cook. Creating and trying new recipes is a guilty pleasure hobby she often indulges in.

She gives a lot of the excess to US Alphys! Who's very grateful for the good food

US Chara is around 12 when they fall and they're non-binary.

US Chara to me feels more like they would have a bravery soul than a determined one. You have to be pretty brave to run away from your home and scale all the way up a mountain all by yourself.

Also, yeah, their homelife wasn't the greatest. They were pretty neglected by their parents. And when their parents did pay attention to them, it was usually to beat them.

It made them into a very violent person, and when they first fell down into the Underground, they solved a lot of their encounters by just beating the shit out of the Monsters.

they never killed any of them though, their moral compass was too strong for them to do that.

When they leave Asgore, they sorta learn to chill out. They start seeing the value in pasificism and resist the urge to punch anyone again.

Once they break the barrier, they go to live with Asgore. The human government determines that Chara's parents were unsuitable to live with pretty quickly. When Asgore and Toriel get back together they all live together as one happy family.

Also Stretch and Chara totally worked together to help the two fall back in love. Real RomCom stuff lol.

US Undyne is a huge nerd lol. She works in the lab in Hotland and complains everyday without fail about the heat.

She focuses more on inventing new types of weapons for Monsters to use against humans then anything else.

Which leaves Hotlands remarkable less dangerous.

She watches anime, but keeps it a secret. She doesn't know of anyone watches the human media as well.

She's still really loud and exuberant. Though she's not as muscly or strong as her UT counterpart. She's still just as likely to pull you into a headlock and give you a noogie, while laughing and calling you a "TOTAL WEENIE!!"

[lawlietscaramels]

light yagami r s v x y (or whichever ones of these you want)

death note reborn

I ended up doing all of em but "y" because based on my Mello + L experience research takes soooo long. dies.

also the "v" is just a sketch because I couldn't pick an artstyle and got sad.

I have too many artstyles :(

Light's regrets are really interesting to think about! Especially around the Death Note, because, you know, I think there's a period after he starts and before he meets Misa (I think— I have such a bad memory for canon events??) when he really questions his decisions and wavers and in general has a bit of a breakdown. It's probably the "tipping point" of his story, that bit. I love tipping points. Anyway, I think during that period he really regrets picking up the Death Note, but because he did, he wouldn't let himself quit.

Hm. I think as Kira he "regrets" Misa. Technically he couldn't do anything about her but I think she complicated his plans more than she helped; also in general, as Kira having to rely on others was something I believe really frustrated Light. Back to normal Light's regrets, I think part of the reason he regretted the Death Note thing was his family. Light loves his family, his mum and sister so much, desperate for his father's approval, he just wants to protect em and make them proud.

Also in contexts like this ↑ whole thing I think it's really important to distinguish Light from Kira-Light because there is so much difference.

Sexuality!!! A very fun question! In canon, Light dates a LOT of girls (or is at least very popular with them) even before Kira. I think it's an expectation in his family that people (by which they mean girls of course) like him. Light has a more traditional family like that. Of course, when he's Kira dating those girls comes in super handy: Misa's eyes, Takada's influence. But he only meets them when he IS Kira, and even if it's really obvious he doesn't like them much less romantically, he's able to act convincingly to their faces. First, as Kira I don't believe Light is interested in relationships at all, he would do it alone if he could. Second, I think the fact that he is able to act convincingly (as opposed to the Oh, it's Normal to have a Strange Guy named after a Pop Star come to my school and Say He's the World's Greatest Detective) is what leads a lot of people to say "well, he must understand love, so he's gay."

But, again, he's Kira when he dates both of them. And Misa in particular is not going to be the most attractive girl to lots of people... Besides, Light's still a kid, you know? He mightn't want to date at all, it's pretty canon that up until Kira he's very invested in school work and Japanese schools tend to be very demanding on workload, and some even don't allow dating. And when Light's Kira, he doesn't care about anyone at all. I guess what I'm saying is, there's no canon evidence he's gay nor straight nor bi nor aroace. It's hard to headcanon a sexuality onto Light: just because he's at a stage in his life (childhood and school, mass murderer and god) where he's not interested in dating doesn't mean he's aroace. I do think he has bisexual tendencies, but whatever -romantic he is it's hard to pin down.

As for gender, I think he's cis but doesn't care very much about fitting stereotypes unless it benefits the "I am the perfect child, smart, morally upright, talented, Not Kira" narrative.

(see. look at the right. ew. not happy with it. his hair and his eyes and also he looks too evil in a weird way.)

How Light thinks? I'd say he has one part of his mind focused on whatever's going on (schoolwork, a discussion in the Task Force or around the dinner table) and the other busy actually thinking. About Kira, about his life, about the world as a whole. He tends to zone out a little and focus on those real thoughts, but being Light and far intellectually superior to those around him, he tends to get the gist of the conversation if he has to say something suddenly. It took some time to unlearn this so Light could be on full guard around L. I think my intention for this question was to kind of detail their speaking style so I'll do that quickly: I think he's like Teruhashi (Saiki K) and doesn't use honorifics unless he's speaking aloud; he tends to use more harsh and crass phrases in his thoughts but is very careful to sound polite when speaking aloud; and he sounds a little like an old man apart from that...

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E4 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Gist: I have been WAITING for this episode! It wasn’t as dramatic as I expected but I still enjoyed it! There was an unexpected plot with Margot I really enjoyed and it was a great introspective episode for Lizzie. I LOVED the self-awareness all of them had in this episode. 

Spoilers Under Cut: 

Oooh interesting choice starting at the end of the year and her getting ready to give the speech Lmaoo "She's not getting the sympathy she wants" I'M CACKLING

Aights let's go 1992 please deliver the drama

Oooh we're starting with Margaret also I forget how religious some of them are then they talk abt their faith Margot you keep smoking like that you're going to be dead in 10 years 🤡🤡 (Bad joke Ik I'll see myself out)

OHMYGOD IS THAT OLD TOWNSEND?? IT IS I'M SCREAMING! I loved them so much in S1

Ahahah Lizzie "I'm not sure it was love" She's funny when she wants to be "Why what's it to you" LMAO these sisters I swear

Ohmygod is that Andrew?? Ew it is WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE NO STOP IT PETER MORGAN He does look like irl Andrew and Tom Byrne (young Andrew) props to the casting dept once again

He's so cavalier about Sarah's affairs I can't??? This is kinda funny ngl SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW AND THEN HE PROCCEEDED TO TELL HER DJLDJSK I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING Also don't you dare sneer at Sarah in Saint Topaz Andrew we all know you were probably at Epstein's Island He's okay with sexual harassment/assault and pedophila but putting someone's foot in his mouth is where he draws the line???

GOOD BE HUMILIATED you prick The D word LMAO Andrew you're a grown ass man, say Divorce Lizzie you damn well know those aren't the words Ahhahahah the way he said "Divorce, Mummy" he sounded like Adele I'm screaming

I take it back, THIS IS THE WORST PERSON I know who made a great point. Gotta applaud him for being self aware about destroying anyone who is different in this family

Lmaooo Margot's start to that letter, hilarious Oh there he is - Townsend. I'm too happy to see him back to complain too much abt how he doesn't really look like his predecessor

Awww Anne and Tim she's so in love with him. Honestly one of their redeeming qualities is their love for one another.

Margot is having the time of her life; good for her! Omg my hearttt I forgot the chokehold Margot and Townsend had on me zhksnsks

LMAO “FERGIE'S STOLEN” headline I'm cracking up Hsjshsj Lizzie is having a ball isn't she. Two children want divorces another one wants to get remarried when the Church forbids it 🤡🤡

Yessss Anne DROP THOSE ENGAGMENT NUMBERS,,, W&K could never 💀💀 I love how derisive she is. She really is a badass, pity that she's most likely a racist

Awww Margot and Townsend's Greatest Hits scenes 😭😭😭 I AM SOFT WELP THAT GOT ANGSTY It was nice to see the young versions again I missed Vanessa Kirby

HAHAHA DI'S BOOK IN CHARLES' FACE as she should be Prince Harming ahahhah Boy I can call you worse things Ew God's law is marriage for life 🤡🤡 God wants yall want to be happy, he told me himself  FREEE DIANA Damn Charles go off shskjs

Lmaooo this ep is Favourite's older sister dbdkkd it's all coming around Yes you were a neglectful mother Lizzie you gave them all several parental issues shskks

Who is this man?? Porchey?? Oh lmao no he's a priest

Okay this is the one thing I won't laugh at. I didn't know this year included a castle fire. No one deserved to have their house burnt down no matter how decadent it is.

Holy shit this looks the Baudelaires Mansion after their fire. This is so sad but also amazing set design Holy shit my heart hurts

Not Margo and Townsend taking stock of the paintings xhdkjejd God they're so cuteeeee ny hearttt

Not Margot accusing Di of burning down building LMAO SHE'S LISTING THEM ALL Fair enough Margot nskdksk

NOT HER SAYING HERSELF D a m n the regret and bitterness of having lost Townsend is STRONG Yesss Leslie what a speech!! Holy shit not the parallels between Anne/Tim and Margot/Townsend God I wanna hug Margo Ohmygod she said ittt she called Lizzie the fuck out

Annus Horriblis INDEED

Tbh I really wasn't expecting the Margot of it all but I am living for it (I wanted to see Anne/Mark and Andrew/Sarah's marriages break down further on screen and them announcing the divorces)

"I don't want to pull out" That's what (s)he said 🤡🤡 Not Queen Mother lecturing her on the speech like ma'am your daughter is 66 years old let her do what she wants Not her sneering at Lizzie being depressed God I hate this bitch

Phillip being THE Wife Guy this season is something I did not expect Like he has been since S3 but like it's dialled up even more this season which makes the upcoming affair with Penny even more sad

She said it!! Annus Horriblis! I will say I appreciate this speech from her it humanised her in the eye of the public after years of never saying anything

Girlies named their dogs after alcoholic drinks lmaoo love this for them

Living for the self awareness of being blamed for everything and for most things, it is true Lizzie

The way they said I love you and was like This is too middle class let's never do it again I'm screaming

[soovermyself]

I don’t know what “issues” people keep saying about her relationship with jesse. I wouldn’t necessary say that the relationship was unhealthy or the she was unhappy. I think she was happy, which is why is must have been so hard to reconcile that happiness with him not supporting her. There is actually a fan video from an event where she says on stage that her partner didn’t do anything, so that’s confirmation that he didn’t support her in the ways that she felt she needed to be. It’s an old event from 2018 (I think) in chicago. It was one of those that weren’t streamed or recorded, but there is a crowd recorded video of her saying it. While of course they don’t need to be attached by the hip, I think that her getting away from chicago so often, and therefore from him since he barely ever followed, ended up being a writing on the wall that something wasn’t right.

As much as sophia and jesse tried to convince the world that they didn’t break up/took a break in 2015, they obviously did. I’m guessing that she probably knew that relationship should be over by that point. But much like she did with the show, she wanted to make it work because there were parts of it that were great. No coincidence they broke up around the same time she decided to leave. Those problems were so closely linked together, I believe.

I also can’t imagine how hard it must have been for sophia around the time dan died. If in private dan’s family was pushing the narrative that dan and sophia were meant to be as much as they were in public, it must’ve been hard. She must’ve felt some guilt over being in a new relationship shortly after their break up.

As I already said, people just keep on assuming that he wasn’t supportive about the set issues and they’re coming up with the narrative that there were issues between them because of it. I think even if she said it loud and clear, people would still believe that it caused tensions between them because that’s such an easy reasoning you know?!

They clearly were “off” during that summer but came back together fairly quickly once they got back to Chicago. They definitely gave it a try because they thought it was worth a shot. In the end it didn’t work out, but I don’t think it’s something either regret having tried.

As for Dan, I actually wonder if she ever felt some guilt over his passing. Obviously not her fault, but she was the one who made it believe he could achieve all of the things and that he could do the greatest things if he only believed in himself. And he did, that’s why he went for Everest. I’m sure that was hard on her. As for the moving on, maybe but Dan also moved on with Ashley fairly quickly so I don’t think that was something to really feel guilt over tbh.

[tomorrow-and-tomorrows]

JJK 149. Mai Zen'in

It’s fascinating for a battle shounen manga to have a character like Mai who is diametrically opposed to the ideals of strength and self-improvement that are usually valourized in this genre. Mai doesn't die because she can’t get stronger, but because she doesn’t want to. And although that attitude is evidently incompatible with an existence within the world and situation she found herself in, there is no negative value judgment imposed by the narrative itself condemning her unwillingness to unlock her "full potential".

JJK has always foregrounded competing worldviews and how individuals’ different perspectives and values can either coexist or conflict with others. Maki's ambition to transform the Zen'in clan vs. the Zen'ins' regressive conservatism; Gojou's vision for the jujutsu world vs. the higher ups' ; Yuji's "I want to save everyone" vs. Megumi's "I choose who I save" ; Mei Mei's "I'm on the side of money" vs. Nanami leaving a lucrative job to save people out of compassion, and so on.

So it's particularly impressive that, while operating within the shounen genre, the story continues to maintain its respect for this ideological diversity by preserving Mai’s belief in her own worldview to the very end. Simply put, not everyone wants to become powerful even if they may have the potential to. Not everyone wants to live a life of violence, and not everyone wants to be a saviour for others at the direct expense of their own sanity.

It would be perhaps the more optimistic yet potentially oppressive narrative move to demand for Mai's character to undergo a transformation from a character who resists the shounen ideals to one who accepts them. This type of transformation would by no means be inherently negative; I'm definitely not saying that going down this path would have been bad for Mai's character or for the story. But it would succumb to a temptation to move towards a kind of 'sameness' rather than difference in its depiction of ways of acting in the world. I think Mai's ending is all the more striking because it resists this temptation.

Because I think that the more typical - and optimistic - development arc for Mai would have been for her to learn how to be willing to become stronger as a sorcerer and eventually fight alongside Maki.

But instead, Mai never ends up conforming to those dominant values of strength and ambition. Neither is she subjected to the kind of development traditionally favoured by the genre that are along the lines of, 'you just need to believe in yourself and work hard' -- because if we really think about it, often times a lot of feats in shounen are accomplished by sheer willpower and self-conviction. (JJK is not always an exception to that trope, nor is it necessarily a bad thing!). Mai had previously firmly stated her opposing point of view, and this essential attitude never changes even when we perhaps most expect it to.

In this situation, rather than working to improve her technique to create stronger objects without it costing her life, Mai passively accepts that her weakness will require self-sacrifice.

It’s a fatalistic attitude resulting from having never wanted to partake in a life of violence and hardship.

On the one hand, inflexibility and the inability to adapt are not exactly commendable traits; Mai is certainly fixed in her resignation and refusal to work towards her full potential as a sorcerer. On the other hand, to use Nanami's words, being a sorcerer is shit. All the suffering and regret in the story so far has only continued to reaffirm that sentiment. So we also can't fully condemn Mai for rejecting that way of life to the extent that she would rather sacrifice herself than to push forward to have her own "shounen power-up" moment. Because the aftermath of that would be a path likely filled with death, brutality, and suffering.

The wish to live a normal life is a legitimate and valid one. In an ideal world, her clan would not punish her for it. In an ideal world, opposing perspectives, especially ordinarily pacifist ones like Mai's, would be allowed to exist. Mai having to die because she was unable to escape or adapt to the ruthlessness of the jujutsu world exemplifies how cruel that world is. Mai's persistence in her wish for a normal life, and her "failure" as a sorcerer is not her failure at all; her death reflects a failure of the violently rigid jujutsu clan culture.

In this light, it is all the more tragic that Mai's death was entirely preventable, and fated not by the inevitability of actual "fate", but rather entirely by a radically traditionalist clan system.

At the same time, as I mentioned earlier, I find it impressive for Gege to have allowed Mai to hold onto her values. Just as Maki has always stayed true to her dreams of overturning the Zen'in clan by becoming a powerful sorcerer, Mai has always stayed true to her resistance to that dark and difficult path. From a writing perspective, I think it's interestingly respectful to Mai's character in that way. It's also for this reason that I consider this chapter to be a worthy good-bye to Mai, as she is faithful to her own way of being in the world until the end. It may not conform to the demands of the optimistic self-improvement narrative generally preferred by shounen, but it is a valid perspective, and it is never depicted to be 'lesser than' or 'inferior to' the shounen narrative.

I'm always interested in stories in which there is a genuine dialogue of a diversity of voices, each with their own perspectives and viewpoints even as they conflict with each other - or in other words stories that prioritize 'difference' over 'sameness' in ways of being, thinking, and acting. It's not necessarily uncommon - most if not all stories will feature different character motivations within a given cast. But I think JJK does this particularly well in a particularly convincing way, and 149 is further confirmation of this for me.

Finally, it is notable that Mai herself seems to acknowledge this sentiment. She may have been unwilling to imagine a stronger future version of herself, which is opposite to the advice Gojou had given Megumi if he wanted to reach his full potential. But she died for the sake of believing in the stronger future version of Maki, and this is how she is victorious even in death. All the way to the end, Mai had her way of viewing and acting in the world in her individual way, and Maki had hers; importantly, Mai ends up encourages this difference. Right after she states that "You are me, and I am you", that sameness is undercut when Mai immediately after points to their contrasting motivations:

Mai ultimately encourages Maki to live in the way that Maki wants to live - to the fullest potential of her power and the fullest potential for her capacity to force change upon a corrupt system. Before, Mai had resented Maki for moving on without her ("why didn't you fall down the hole with me?") - she resented how Maki couldn't be the same as her in how she viewed the world. In her final chapter, Mai conversely acknowledged that she herself could never see the world exactly the same as Maki.

Therein lies the cornerstone of her character development; before, she resented that difference between them for those twofold reasons. In the last moments of her life, she no longer resents Maki for moving on without her; she encourages her to move forward into the future. It is of course undeniably tragic, as it must be a future without Mai. And no amount of power gained from such a loss could ever be consolation for that tragedy.

It is fitting, then, that Mai's final message to Maki is full of despair -- yet it is also not without hope. In the interplay between 'construction' and 'destruction', it is ironic yet poetic that Mai wished for her object-construction technique's final and greatest creation to be used to destroy - indeed, to "destroy everything". There is undoubtedly despair both in that command, and in Maki's drive to destruction when she emerges from that room. But somewhere, somehow, there must also be the hope that that destruction will be in the service of "construction", of creating a better future for others, even if it is too late for it to be a future in which they can live in together.

[cdroloisms]

there is much to be said about what a c!dream healing arc could do to the story. what it could mean, having one of the characters that is - to this point - one of the greatest perpetuators (or at least participants) of the cycle of violence that has become this server’s narrative until this point break free of that. what it could mean for everyone on that server, having someone that has done so many unequivocally bad things turn around and go “okay, i am going to try and Be Better” and then not only improve the lives of those no longer tormented by his actions but himself heal. like that is ,, such a cool message. that’d be so fun. 

but also, i think something really unique abt c!dream’s redemption is that it’s ,, the key to opening the way to the redemption and healing of other characters as well. like, for example, on twitter i’ve stated before that like - c!sam’s redemption, in some ways, directly hinges on whether or not c!dream comes out of the prison just as “evil” as he was before. 

the deal with c!sam (in simplified terms) is that he thinks that he’s right. he thinks that everything that he has done thus far can be justified by the knowledge that letting c!dream out of the prison would be worse. yes, he killed, tortured, and maimed one of the people he loves (and loves him) most. yes, his neglect and fear allowed him to keep a kid in a cramped, inhumane space w/ his abuser for even longer than the protocol written and then prevented him from interfering before he died. yes, he threatened to kill the same kid out of the fear that his actions might let the prisoner free. yes, he has trapped several people in his prison without a trial and threatened to kill several more for just touching a block of his prison. yes, he has not only abused his own authority time and time again, but stepped aside to override all previous protocol to allow a business partner into the prison walls and torture the man he is meant to guard. but to c!sam, all of this doesn’t MATTER because it’s still a lesser evil than whatever c!dream might do when he gets out. it all isn’t important how “bad” his actions might be because c!dream is still, in his mind, worse. 

if c!dream comes out of the prison (relatively) unscathed, or even if he doesnt but he goes right back onto terrorizing people, then like - what’s stopping c!sam from thinking that he was right? what’s stopping him from concluding that “everything i did was necessary and i should’ve done more because c!dream is still more evil than anyone and therefore keeping him locked up should be prioritized above the safety and happiness of everyone else on the server for the greater good” ?? he already thinks that everything he’s done is justified. even when he seems upset, for example, in his interactions w/ c!ponk, he never actually expresses any regret for his actions. he still finds his actions themselves to be 100% necessary. 

but what happens when you dismantle that?

what happens when you, for once, refuse to feed into that cycle of violence and c!dream gets out of the prison and then proceeds to do nothing? what happens if c!dream leaves prison and instead of blowing shit up, or killing people, or whatever, he actually tries to get better? what happens if he succeeds, and does improve himself and the server?

what happens, then, to c!sam? he’s always justified his actions with the idea that keeping c!dream locked up is of utmost importance because c!dream is a greater danger to the server than he ever manages to be, as warden. that no matter what he has done and will do, no matter the cost, it is worth it because it is for the protection of the entire server from a c!dream that will destroy them all. so say that c!dream leaves the prison and he gets better. 

what does that mean for c!sam? 

/dsmp /roleplay