#roman can have worked for either shield or something else

[thlayli-ra]

I was inspired by a writing prompt on @sinderellanightwolf 's blog and just HAD to write it down. Let me know what you think!

Kissing Request; 42 (Life or Death kisses)

Pairing - Finn Balor/The Shield (Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose)

AU - Police

Rating - Mature (sexual themes)

Contains - M/M, kissing, fondling, hostage situation

Word Count - 2,076 words

The armed men had rushed in around noon taking as many hostages as they could and barricading themselves into a small windowless room. The police had cordoned off the building and surrounding streets but the SWAT teams had been told to hold back for now - there was no clear way inside and they couldn't risk harming the hostages.

And that was where Finn came in. He was considered one of the best hostage crisis negotiators in the state, revered among his peers. Unshakeably cool under pressure with bags of Irish charm, he had faced countless situations like this before and always managed to de-escalate the situation without a single drop of blood spilled.

In fact, the terrorists had asked for him by name.

Having arrived at the scene and been debriefed, Finn pulled on a bulletproof vest, grabbed his headset and made his way under the barrier tape. He was greeted by three officers, all dressed in full riot gear and holding large rifles.

'Agent Balor,' the largest and broadest of the three greeted the Irishman with a firm handshake. 'Officer Reigns. This is Officer Ambrose and Officer Rollins. We'll be your cover out there.'

'Think of us as your personal shield,' Rollins added with a smirk.

'It's comforting to know I have men like you watching my back,' Finn remarked. 'Have they made any demands yet?'

'Nope,' Ambrose shook his head. 'They refuse to talk to anybody but you.'

'Then let's not waste anymore time,' Finn said and walked towards the building, flanked by the three officers. By now, it was rush hour and the area had gathered a large crowd of onlookers watching the proceedings with morbid fascination. Finn ignored their stares and the heat of the mid-summer sun as he turned on his headset.

'Hello? This is Agent Finn Balor, can you hear me?' No response. 'Hello, this is Agent Finn Balor, is there anybody there? Please respond if you can-'

'It's him! It's him!' He heard an excited voice on the other end of his line. 'Is that Agent Balor?'

'Yes, it is.'

'Say something Irish!'

'Ummm, what's the craic?'

A pause. 'Yeah it's definitely him!'

Finn took little notice of the strange behaviour. Gain enough of a reputation in a field such as his and the weirdos inevitably came crawling out of the woodwork. 'Now that we've established it's really me, let's try and work something out, shall we? Some of those people in there have families waiting for them at home. Let's try and get them back in time for supper.'

'Now listen here,' the voice turned aggressive, 'we have our demands and if they're not met, we're gonna open fire and kill every last person here, understand?'

'I understand,' Finn swiped aside any nerves; this was not the time for them.

'Oh, and we have a monitor in here, we're watching the news coverage so we can see you, Agent Balor and everybody else out there with you.'

The hint of a shiver danced up the Irishman's spine. He was glad of the large armed men around him. 'I have no intention of lying or deceiving you. Please, tell me your demands.'

The line went quiet and the sound of muffled voices rustled in the background. The terrorist was conferring with his partner-in-crime. 'Ok, Agent Balor. Our first demand is...' A bead of sweat trickled down Finn's forehead but he paid it no heed as he waited for their response. '...you must go up to that guy beside you and kiss him.'

Finn blinked. 'I... I'm sorry, can you repeat that?'

'Go kiss that guy to your right,' the voice said again, confirming Finn's suspicions. 'Not just a peck either, make it steamy.'

'You... want me to kiss Officer Rollins?' He eyed the officer in question who looked as confused as he did.

'You want us to shoot these people?'

'No, of course I don't, it's just that-?' His eyes met those of Rollins who shouldered his rifle.

'It's life or death here, Agent Balor,' he said, pulling up the visor of his helmet. 'I'll do my duty if you will.'

The Irishman's heart skipped a beat at the dark doe eyes and pretty face staring back at him. There were certainly worse situations he could find himself in 'Ok, fine. I'll do it. Are you watching?'

'Oh yeeeah, we are!'

Finn rolled his eyes as he walked up to Officer Rollins. Put on the spot, the pair awkwardly grasped one another by the shoulders before leaning in. Finn flinched momentarily as Officer Rollins' mouth found his and closed his eyes, the two of them standing rigid with their lips flattened against the others.

'Come on Agent Balor,' the voice in his ear chastised, 'this aint some high school church dance. Use a little tongue.'

Rollins was the first to comply and opened his mouth, his hot breath steaming Finn's skin, masterfully engulfing the Irishman's full lips. The grip on his shoulders tightened and Rollins turned his face, deepening the passionate kiss even more. Finn was left stunned when Rollins' tongue slipped between his lips, the soft caress enough to draw a needy groan from his throat.

'You're obviously enjoying yourself Agent Balor,' the voice teased. 'He must be a very good kisser.'

Finn couldn't deny it; Officer Rollins was a master at his craft. Sensual, sweet and attentive. He could do this for an eternity, locked in his embrace. By the time the officer released the Irishman, his pale skin had turned a deep pink.

It took him a while to find his voice. 'Is... was that enough for you?'

'That was perfection,' the voice on the other end of the line purred.

'Big guy,' another voice sounded, obviously his partner-in-crime. 'Do the big guy next.'

'No, leave him till last. Do the other one first,'

'Yeah, the guy with the really slim waist.'

'So, now you want me to kiss Officer Ambrose?' Finn confirmed, his voice still breathy from his encounter with Rollins.

'Yeah, yeah. Do it.' Ambrose was already making his way towards him, leaving Finn little time to think. 'Wait, take off his helmet, we wanna see his face.'

'Go on,' Ambrose prompted and Finn slipped the black helmet and visor from the man's head. A tangle of sandy blonde curls tumbled loose from his crown, which he flicked back with a jerk of his head and fixed the Irishman with two simmering blue eyes. Finn barely had time to process how gorgeous the officer was before his face was grabbed by two gloved hands and Ambrose shoved his lips onto his.

Compared to Rollins, Ambrose was sloppy and animalistic, all teeth and spittle as he nipped the Irishman's lips over and over. The grip on his face was strong and unyielding, rugged fingers curling into Finn's beard and gripping it tightly so that he could not pull away. Not that he wanted to! As different as Rollins' and Ambrose's styles were, they were as equally addictive. While Rollins' sensuality stole Finn's breath away, Ambrose's roughness kicked up his heart until it pounded against his rib cage, adrenaline flooding his senses.

Biting down one last time, the nip enough to draw a small bead of blood, Ambrose let go with another jerk of his head, shooting the Irishman a lopsided smirk. Smug bastard! Finn stumbled on wobbly legs, resisting the urge to wipe the dampness from his chin.

'Having fun, Agent Balor?' the voice was cackling now, mocking the once cool, composed negotiator. 'We certainly are.'

'Let me guess, you have one more demand?' Finn asked aloud, looking over his shoulder to spy the largest of the three men. 'You want me to kiss Officer Reigns next?'

'You are so clever, Agent Balor,' the voice cheered.

'And if I do this, you will let the hostages go?' Finn pressed.

'Yes, every one, and we will put down our weapons and turn ourselves in.'

'Then I'd best do it, hadn't I?'

Without being instructed, Finn lifted the helmet from Officer Reigns' head, finding to his delight another handsome face, with tanned skin and a strong jaw. His lips looked as delicious as fruit freshly plucked from the bough and Finn wasted no time in capturing them. The larger man parted his lips to let Finn in, wrapping his arms around the Irishman and grasping him firmly.

'Grab his ass!' the voice commanded and before Finn could ask who the order was directed at, Reigns' hands moved to his backside and cupped both pert cheeks in his giant palms. Finn pulled his head back and gasped when large, strong fingers began to knead the tautly muscled flesh, in return hearing something like a tiger's growl rumbling in the pit of the larger man's throat.

Reigns pounced, taking possession of the Irishman's lips once more, sucking them into his warm mouth while his tongue explored them further. Reigns clearly enjoyed being in charge and Finn happily gave his body over to the officer, succumbing to the larger man's raw domination. One hand fell away from his backside to grab a fistful of his short, dark hair, tugging until the Irishman hissed. Reigns had done this before and knew exactly what he was doing - the force on his hair perfectly weighted between pain and rapture. Finn whimpered like an excited puppy.

'Oh Agent Balor, the noises you're making,' the voice whined down his ear. 'You're making us very jealous. We left you the best for last, didn't we?'

Finn couldn't answer; his mouth now belonged to Reigns. He could barely even reciprocate but the officer didn't care. Between the hand in his hair, the hand on his ass and the tongue in his mouth, Reigns was getting enough from the Irishman to satiate his desires.

When he finally pulled away, Finn felt dizzy, as if he'd just been through an out-of-body experience and had abruptly returned to his senses. He swiped a hand through his sweaty hair, reality jarring back into focus when the butt of his palm hit his headset.

'Is that it?' he said, remembering the job at hand. 'Did I meet your demands?'

'Ohhh, that and more, Agent Balor,' the voice sang. 'Look towards the door.'

Finn turned around and was hit with a wave of relief when the double doors to the building opened and a crowd of wide-eyed hostages fled to freedom. At last, the SWAT team rushed inside while the police force attended to the survivors. The line in his ear went dead, replaced by loud static. Removing his headset, he was suddenly hit with the full force of his condition. He was breathless and lightheaded, his lips bruised and his chin dripping. Glancing around at the mass of faces watching him in an almost voyeuristic fashion, he felt as if he was naked. He absentmindedly popped up the collar of his leather jacket in a feeble attempt to hide from their gazes.

'Good job, Agent Balor,' it was Reigns who spoke, Rollins and Ambrose falling in line behind him. They didn't seem fazed by their strange day in the slightest. 'The terrorists have been arrested and not a single hostage hurt. I'd call that a success.'

'Aye, sure,' Finn hushed out through trembling lips.

'Here,' Reigns held out his hand, a card between his two fingers. 'Call any time, if you need mine or...' he glanced back over his shoulder with a sly grin, '..all of our services again.'

'Thanks,' Finn said, taking the card. 'I'll bear that in mind.'

The three men left and Finn stood alone, staring down at the card when he heard his name being called. Turning around, he saw two men in handcuffs being shoved into a police van. 'Thank you, Agent Balor! Until next time!'

'WE LOVE YOU!' the other one hollered before he was wrestled into the van.

Finn shook his head in disbelief. What a day! Now, he'd head back to his office and write up the paperwork. Then it was straight home for a shower (a cold one, preferably) and a beer (even colder). Before walking away, however, he looked down at the card Reigns had given him, rubbing his tattooed hand over his slick chin. He'd be sure to keep this little treasure safe - he had a feeling he'd be needing the boys before long.

Maybe for a personal assignment next time!

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Attempted Shield

Summary: Roman is a sorry excuse of a hero.

Author’s Note: My brain said "You know, there's all these evil oc dark side aus but there aren't any evil oc light side aus is anyone gonna fix that" and didn't wait for an answer

This is also part of the TSS Febwhump Challenge that can be found on AO3!  I used a bonus prompt for this one, Take Me Instead.

...

Roman wondered sometimes if there would ever come a time in his life when he wasn’t afraid.  Afraid for himself, in the simple selfish way of not enjoying being hurt.  Afraid for Patton and Logan, and all of the ways them being hurt was worse.  Afraid for Thomas, and what all of this meant for him.  Afraid that things would never get better, and it was Roman’s fault, because he was supposed to be the hero, and he had never been good enough, never managed to save one person he cared about.

Oh sure, he’d say that and then Patton would bring up countless examples of times Roman got them to safety before Positivity hurt them, or before White Lies convinced them they’d be fine if they didn’t run.  But that wasn’t the point.  How heroic was it for Roman to save them on Tuesday only for them to get swept up by someone else on Thursday?

He also knew that wasn’t fair, though.  It wasn’t Patton’s job to reassure him about being a hero when he had so much going on himself.  You can’t reassure a worthless hero that he’s worth something, you’re always going to be lying to them in the end.  And Patton shouldn’t have to lie to Roman any more than he already had to lie to everyone else.  Patton hated lying.

Roman still did what he could though.  It may not make him a hero, but it did make him feel better to know his family were sleeping peacefully on a night he wasn’t, even if it didn’t make a difference two nights later.

There were times Roman debated actually trying for a display of heroism in just taking the two sides on.  Positivity and White Lies could make a dangerous pair, for many reasons, but Patton and Logan and him made three, and there were only two of them.  Sure, Patton wasn’t the best at fighting, and Logan wasn’t the best at… existing, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t do something.

He never did, though.  He couldn’t even exactly explain why, just that when he considered the idea, it never felt realistic.  Like it would never work if they tried it.

They could potentially ask the others for help, but… no.  That wasn’t realistic either.  Remus and Deceit and Anxiety no doubt had their own problems to deal with, they shouldn’t have to get involved just because Roman was such a failure at being a hero.

So he just repressed the aching desire for things to get better and moved on with this being what things were.  They were stuck like this, and he was stuck being worthless.  That was fine.  Roman would just do anything he could, and make things as easy on his family as possible.

They all slept in a room together, just to make things a little safer in case Positivity or White Lies tried to attack while they were sleeping.  The bed was pushed against the wall, with Logan closest to it and Patton wrapped around him and Roman wrapped around them both.  That way he could defend them both as the strongest of the three, and Patton could defend Logan if they got past him.

And sometimes, what they wanted was simple, and no one else had to get hurt.  Sometimes Roman could just offer himself up as a sacrifice for the other two getting a good night of sleep.

Patton never seemed to like that solution, and Logan argued with him all the time about how it was more logical for the three of them to share the burden as much as they could, but Roman wasn’t going to hear it.  He was going to take what he could.  That was the most he could do.

Roman wasn’t necessarily expecting tonight to be one such night, but then, he never really expected these kinds of things.

At first, he was just on his way back from a meeting with Thomas, where they went over what the plan was for the next video.

Anxiety was going to be in this one too, which was nothing new at this point.  Roman did sometimes find it hard to think of Thomas’ desire to cast him as the villain without laughing though.  Out of all the sides in Thomas’ mind he could have picked, he decided the villain would be the one that got nervous about talking to cute boys.  Diabolical, truly.

Well, obviously Thomas didn’t know most of what went on in his own mind.  Logan was the only one who had ever argued for telling him, and even he didn’t do that much anymore.  It just wasn’t a good idea.  It would throw things into chaos, and Thomas was doing fine as is.  None of what was going on was anything they couldn’t handle, after all.

For example, when Roman rose up into the living room and found Positivity holding Patton down against the floor, he rushed forward and yanked him off without even thinking about it.

Positivity was alone, so Roman managed to shove him down against the couch and give Patton ample enough time to run away.

…Or at least, that was what he thought, except he didn’t see Patton moving past him at all.  Roman kept his grip on Positivity and looked over, only to see Patton being held by the back of his hoodie, by a side Roman had never seen before, what in the—

Oh.

Oh, Thomas, no.

“Roman, it’s okay,” Patton said instantly, except it wasn’t, because Thomas was already not doing well and he was going to need Patton around for the next few days.

Roman shook his head at Patton, and looked up at the other side, still being careful not to let go of Positivity.  “You can have me instead,” he said.

“And why should I make that deal?  You never have anything interesting for me to play with.”

“You could always give me something interesting,” Roman said.

“Roman,” Patton said.  “Just go, I’ll be fine.”

The side hummed in momentary consideration of Roman’s offer while ignoring Patton entirely.  After a moment, he shrugged.  “Deal,” he said, and tossed Patton lightly onto the couch.  Roman held Positivity down for another second, though he was now clearly trying to reach Patton.

“Roman, stop doing that,” Patton said, giving him a worried look.

Roman smiled.  “I’ll be okay, Padre.  Go find Logan.”

Patton gave him an upset look, but after another second, he sank out.

Roman finally let go of Positivity, who instantly spun Roman around and shoved him down so he was pressed against the ground.

“You always ruin all the fun!” Positivity said, though he didn’t really sound too upset.  It wasn’t in his nature.

Roman didn’t reply, just let himself get held down and let out a sigh, as relieved as he could be in his current situation.

Patton and Logan would sleep safely after all, and he got to be a hero for a little bit tonight.

[fandoms-x-reader]

Adrenaline Rush - Chapter 4 Roman Reigns x Reader

Your heart was racing as you sat alone in the locker room coming down from the high that the previous events had given you. You felt like you were on a different planet. After a few minutes, the three men of the Shield entered the locker room.

As soon as they entered, you graced them with an innocent smile and although they looked confused, they also seemed proud. There was a moment of silence, no one knowing what to say. Finally, Roman began to say something, but all he could get out was, "Y/N..." You weren't sure what to say either. After all, it was your first night at WWE and you had already impressed the crowd. You were overwhelmed with emotions.

"That was amazing," Seth stated, finally saying what everyone else had been wanting to say. You let out a small chuckle before replying, "It was nothing." "Nothing? I've never seen anything like that," Dean stated, joining in on the conversation.

Before you could say anything in response, you heard a knock on the door to the locker room, followed by Kurt Angle entering. You immediately stood up and noticed that he had a large smile on his face. "Y/N! That was great! The crowd loved you," Kurt told you, making you smile. You were glad that your debut was a success.

"Well, listen, now that you've already made an appearance, the crowd is going to expect to see you more. Alexa Bliss is already doing a promo right now, talking about how she is going to make sure you know who the boss is in the women's division. Since you came to the "rescue" of the Shield, I think this would be a great opportunity to schedule a tag-team match to see how the crowd likes you working with the Shield. So, next week on Raw, it's going to be Alexa Bliss and Baron Corbin against you and whoever you want to be your partner to be. Unfortunately, I won't be around for the match since Corbin is the new manager, but you're going to do great," Kurt explained before leaving the locker room.

You were excited for the chance to be in a tag-team match with one of the guys, but a slight blush appeared on your cheeks as you realized that you had to choose between the men for your tag partner.

All three men were looking at you, waiting for you to say something, but you hated being in this position. "Any ideas on who should be my tag partner?" you asked them, hoping they would figure it out themselves. The three men looked between each other. Roman began the conversation by saying, "Well, Seth, no offense, but I don't think it should be you. You are the Intercontinental Champion and Dolph Ziggler is just waiting for the chance to get the jump on you, you should focus on that."

Seth wanted to protest at first but then agreed with Roman, knowing that his "brother" was right. "Okay, so then who is it going to be between you and Dean?" Seth asked in response. Roman looked at Dean, giving him a look. You weren't sure what exactly Roman's look meant, but you knew they were having some sort of silent conversation with each other.

"Well, don't get me wrong Y/N, I would love to be in the ring with you, but I can wait for the next time, I promised my wife, Renee, that I would take her out next week," Dean stated. Roman gave Dean a small smile before turning his attention to you, saying, "I guess it's me and you next week."

The look he gave you when he said that was enough to make your knees buckle and your heart race, but you had to compose yourself and remind yourself that he was your co-worker. So, you cleared your throat and replied, "Sounds great, I should let Angle know before he leaves."

With those words, you took your leave, making your way to Angle's office, but when you got there, you saw that the door was locked and the lights were all off. He must have gone home already. You quickly pulled out your phone and called him, letting him know that Roman would be your tag partner next week.

When you got off the phone, you went back to the locker room one last time to gather up your stuff before heading to the hotel for the night...wait. You completely forgot to get your hotel room key from Angle before he left.

He was holding onto it for you and was supposed to give it to you after your debut, but he must have forgotten too. You mentally face palmed as you sat down, trying to figure out what to do. You were so deep in thought that you didn't hear Roman come into the locker room until he asked, "Are you okay?"

You slightly jumped as you were quickly pulled from your thoughts. "Oh, yeah. I was just thinking," you replied. Roman gave you a small smile before telling you, "You should get some sleep, I was thinking about waking up early tomorrow and training if you wanted to join? We can work on some moves for the tag match," Roman suggested. "That's a good idea," you told him with a sweet smile. "I'm headed to the hotel we're all staying in now if you want me to walk you over there," he said.

You blushed slightly at his offer, feeling embarrassed as you debated whether or not to tell him that you were going to have to sleep in the locker room for the night. He saw that something was wrong though and asked, "What?" "I kind of forgot to get my hotel room key from Angle, so I was planning on sleeping here tonight," you explained.

Roman let out a small laugh at the situation before suggesting, "You could stay in my room for the night." You gave him a look that made him laugh even harder. "Not like that. There's only one bed, but I promise I'll be on my best behavior," he replied.

You still weren't convinced though. "It's better than the floor of a dirty locker room," Roman added, hoping to convince you. You chuckled a little as you told him, "You do have a point there." You thought about it for another moment before caving in and saying, "Okay, thank you for letting me stay with you for the night."

Roman smiled as he gave you a nod in response. He waited for you to gather up your belongings before walking with you to the hotel. He led you up to his room and let you use the bathroom first. You took a shower and put on your pajama shorts and tank top since it was still hot outside. You quickly brushed your teeth before exiting.

When you exited the bathroom, you saw Roman standing in the middle of the room with his back turned to you and his shirt off. You knew you should have looked away, but you couldn't help but take a second to admire his body.

Roman suddenly turned around making you avert your eyes with a slight tint coating your cheeks. "If it bothers you, I can put my shirt on," Roman stated, attempting to make you feel more comfortable.

"No, it's okay," you replied, crawling into the bed. Besides, it's not like it's something I haven't seen before. Roman disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes, leaving you to sit and ponder your time already in WWE. What an adrenaline rush. Roman came out a bit later and crawled into the bed next to you.

You could feel the tension between the two of you, both of you obviously attracted to one another. But, as he promised, Roman didn't make any moves on you, which you were grateful for. After all, he was your co-worker now and the last thing you wanted to do was jeopardize your career.

[littleteacupdragon]

For the prompts, can you do lociet with a hand running through hair?

I apologise for the delay, life got in the way a little bit, but I hope you’ll like it! (also thank you for this being loceit, I love this ship so much and wish there was more soft fics with those two).

As always, please excuse any mistakes. Enjoy!

-

Quality time

Sometimes they both needed some quiet company. Properly quiet company. Sure, Virgil was reserved, but he wasn’t entirely quiet. He was used to blasting music through his headphones; more often than not it was loud enough to be heard by the person next to him, and there was no denying that it had the potential to get annoying really quickly - one: because everybody was worried about Virgil’s hearing, and two: there was just something about hearing second-hand headphones music that was just this one bit more irritating than someone blasting it full-volume on speakers. Another thing was that he was a fidgety person, and fidgeting, as completely acceptable as it is, can create a lot of small noises that are amplified by silence.

Roman could be silent when he got swept into his creative process, but he was excitable. He wasn’t aware that he could produce all kinds of excited sounds, sighs, little exclamations. And with the excitement came loud typing or writing which was a definite “please, stop”.

When there was noise around Patton didn’t need to add to it, but he didn’t like silence in the way the others did. They suspected that it reminded him of times when his thoughts would torment him. As much as they wished he wouldn’t try and bury them and just talk them out, there was nothing they could force him to do.

Remus was out of the question.

So really, Janus and Logan shouldn’t have been so surprised when they realised that they started to spend more and more time in each other’s company. They liked reading together, getting engrossed in a book and not acknowledging the other person sitting in the room.

The fact that they weren’t alone had something pleasant to it, unobtrusive but noticeable enough for them to start seeking it out subconsciously, leaving their rooms to read on the neutral ground of the common room more often, in the evenings when everyone else was busy somewhere else.

They had days where they were both on opposite ends of the couch, they had days when they ended up sitting a bit closer than that. Not always intentionally, but Deceit was too proud to make a fuss when his movement didn’t end up as planned. All he ever did went according to plan, thank you very much.

That’s why he was now with his head in Logan’s lap, book held uncomfortably high to hide his blushing face, straining to keep his muscles from tensing.

Logan was supposed to sit a bit further away.

And he was not supposed to just let him do that, lay in that position, that is. Aside from a quick glance with a raised brow (which Janus didn’t notice because of his book-shield) he made no comment about it. And it was driving Janus crazy.

If he had protested, Janus could have just moved without any struggle, but since it was him that did this to himself, it would be even more embarrassing to move after a minute of being like that.

So it was either die of embarrassment because he didn’t plan on that and oh my god why wasn’t Logan protesting, or it was dying of embarrassment when the other had more access to see his face and lose the remains of his calm façade.

Nope, he would rather stay put.

After a few more minutes of pretending to read and trying to calm his internal storm of thoughts, Janus came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn’t so bad. He was comfortable. He wasn’t unwelcome. There was no drama about it.

Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal as he made it seem.

As he started to relax, he lowered his book and went back to reading it properly. It was one of those times where just a few lines got him sucked in, a very nice thing considering that this time he chose a mystery thriller - and without the plot and style that was able to do such a thing, well, let’s say that he didn’t consider most thrillers to be worth the time. But this one? This one was trying to do what others failed at, and as for now, it was doing it extremely well, so Janus couldn’t help himself but try to solve the mystery alongside the characters.

It was nice he could do that with Logan in the room with him. Most probably the only side in company of whom he’d let his guard down like that.

At first, he didn’t notice. It took him a few seconds to realise what it was that was pulling his attention from the book, and when it hit him he tensed up instantly.

There were fingers on his head, lightly threading through his hair. The movement was almost absentminded, which was proven to be an accurate description when Janus looked up to see that Logan’s attention was still completely captured by his own book. Was he even aware of what he was doing? He must have been, seeing how the gentle touch stopped as soon as Logan felt the other tense up. He moved the book to the side to meet eyes with Janus.

“Did I overstep boundaries?”, he asked and Janus wanted the ground to swallow him because he almost blurted out that no, please, keep going. You know, like a fool.

“It’s okay”, he answered instead, forcing his eyes to go back to the text, feigning nonchalance as well as he could, trying for his best ‘I don’t care’ tone when he added: “I don’t mind”.

He wasn’t going to look up again and check the reaction to his words, but when a few seconds passed and he started to feel the same warm hand in his hair, he smiled. He let himself enjoy the contact, let that electric feeling go though his spine as the other worked through some small knots that must have formed under his hat.

Somewhere in the back of his head he wondered why there was no hat on his head but it was such a small part of his mind that he didn’t pay it any attention.

And as he allowed himself to get sucked into the book once again, a gentle hand in his hair, soft thighs under his head and the overall warm feeling of being close to somebody without any expectations or underlying suspicion that seemed to follow him almost everywhere…

Well, if Logan caught him with a blep on his face some amount of time later and couldn’t help to chuckle under his breath, Janus was never to find out.

It was really nice when they were spending time together.

-

Send me a prompt focusing on touch

Read more of my touch-based prompts fics

[foursideharmony]

The Cat, the Prince, and the Doorway to Imagination (Chapter 8)

Summary: Before there can be a mending, there must be a shattering...

Pairings: Platonic/familial LAMP/CALM, Platonic/familial DLAMPR

Content Warnings: Unconsciousness, extreme self-doubt, ugly crying, profanity

Word Count: 3,923

Read on AO3: here

Patton knelt beside Roman and maneuvered an arm behind his shoulders in order to lift him into a reclining position. The Creative Side remained worryingly unconscious—the Witch's power had evidently been shielding him from the effects of cold exposure, and he had traded his ethereal pallor for a sickly one. “He's chilled,” Patton reported. “Maybe a little shocky from the stress. We ought to get him underground and into some nice warm blankets.”

“Maybe it serves him right,” Virgil muttered even as he slipped out of his fur coat and laid it over the prince, relying on his hoodie to keep himself warm enough in the meantime. “So now what?”

“Aw, all those cool gross monster things are leaving!” Remus said, peering down the slope of the hill. “I wanted to see a gory battle! From the inside!”

“Can't you?” Virgil said acidly. “I thought you said you'd get control of the Imagination if Roman got knocked out.”

“I said I'd get control if I knocked Roman out. It's part of the whole sibling rivalry thing. We fight over who gets to play with the good toys. Didn't you notice that nothing has really changed around here? We're still in Roman's story.” He looked pensive, which was always a dangerous sign. “I guess I could try to clock him one anyway, but I don't know if it would work when he's unconscious already.” He shrugged. “Oh well, maybe he'll get frostbite and his fingers and toes will turn black and fall off! That would be a hoot!”

“Eugh, why are you like this?” said Virgil.

“Don't you dare touch him,” Patton said firmly. “That's one experiment that is not happening today.” He lifted Roman a little more and tucked the edges of the coat under him.

“How's he looking?” asked Virgil.

“I don't think he's getting any worse, at least. I still want to get him inside one of the shelters.”

“Something tells me that's actually not going to be necessary,” said Janus, speaking for the first time since he had managed to trigger Roman's sudden turnaround. He pointed toward the area of thick forest roughly to the east of the hill. “I do so hate to correct you, Remus, but that looks like change to me.”

All the trees in a roughly circular patch had lost their coatings of snow and displayed either dark needles or bare gray-brown branches. The patch was slowly growing, and as they watched, a trail of the same phenomenon formed, leading off of the main area and meandering toward the hill. The forest sparkled as drops of newly melted water fell from twigs and caught the sun, and before long, those twigs began to mist over with pale green.

The trail reached the edge of the forested area, and there emerged from the trees...a tawny, long-haired cat. As it paced forward, the snow vanished under its paws, revealing dark, damp earth from which grass immediately began to sprout. The cat began to climb the Hill of the Stone Table, and with every step, the nascent springtime spread farther and, astonishingly, the cat grew larger . Before it was halfway up the slope, it was somewhere between a lynx and a leopard in size and still growing. Its shaggy fur clustered around its neck and shoulders, its jaws became heavier, its tail acquired a tuft at the end. It was a lion that reached the crest of the hill, the snow fleeing before him, paws striking the ground like miniature earthquakes, tiny white and yellow flowers bursting from the ground in his wake.

The response of the assembled Narnians was immediate, collective, and extreme. They didn't drop to the ground kneeling or bowing, as one might expect in the presence of their King, but ran to the Lion, keening with delight and adoration. Talking Beasts nuzzled his paws and flanks, Fauns and Dwarfs combed their fingers through his mane, and the whole throng constantly called out his name— “Aslan, Aslan!” —the various tones and pitches of their voices overlapping and blending together into a susurration like surf on a beach.

Aslan, for his part, returned their affection in full, dipping his head to brush whiskers with the beasts, swishing his tail to tickle the Fauns. Yet he maintained his pace as he continued toward the center of the hilltop, toward where the Sides were watching the proceedings with awkward astonishment, like the outsiders they were. Remus stared at the great Lion with mixed apprehension and fascination. Janus looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, but understood that even the most casual exit would only attract attention. Virgil stood stiffly as if pinned in place, splitting the difference between terror and giddy excitement and landing somewhere in the vicinity of shock. And Patton...

Patton certainly hadn't forgotten about Roman, but at the sight of Aslan's approach, he was moved to lay the Prince back down on the warming ground and step forward, shy and sentimental, to greet Aslan.

“We've already met, haven't we,” he said. It wasn't a question. Aslan nodded. “Thank you, for what you did yesterday. It helped Ailim a lot. Me too.”

Aslan turned in a slow circle, his gaze sweeping to encompass the entire gathering in turn. At last he spoke, in a voice as heavy and rich as gold itself. “Things are beginning to be set right. But there are yet choices to be made.” He walked over to Roman and bent to sniff him, causing him to flinch and whimper, but not waken just yet.

“Is Roman going to be okay?” asked Patton.

“Physically, he will,” Aslan replied. “As for the rest...that is largely up to him.” He swept his golden gaze over the crowd once more. “Shouldn't there be one more of you?”

“If you're talking about Logan,” Virgil said, “he...wait, why am I telling you? Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing or whatever?

Aslan actually smiled slightly. “Indeed. Bring him here.” A small group of Narnians jumped up to fetch Logan from where they had hidden him earlier in order to make Janus's illusion convincing. “As for the rest of you...you may wish to cover your ears.”

They did (except for Remus, who tried to pull his off entirely and discovered too late that he couldn't), and even so, Aslan's roar was an almost solid physical force. A shockwave of sorts spread out from the hill at tremendous speed, and as it passed it obliterated the hundred-year winter—no slow melting of snow, no gentle emergence of leaf buds, but an instant replacement of one season by the next. In a mere moment, the white and gray world had been made over into one of azure and earthy brown and every possible shade of green, splashed here and there with delicate floral pastels.

And there was another instantaneous effect. The sheer noise of it woke Roman up. His eyes sprang open and he gasped, body twitching as every nerve and muscle was startled into full alertness. He flailed for a moment before managing to sit up just as the roar died away. He looked around wildly, apparently not recognizing his greatly altered surroundings, until his eyes focused and his glance fell upon the Lion.

Roman's face crumpled. He made a tiny noise of anguish and turned around so that he wasn't facing Aslan, or the other Sides, or anyone.

“Roman...” Patton said. “It's gonna be—”

“I'll go,” Roman said into his own knees. “I'll leave the Imagination running so you can keep the story going until you're ready to stop.”

“Roman. Do not run from this,” Aslan said softly. “You have wronged your companions. You must face those wrongs if you wish to ever dispel them.”

“Dispel them...” Roman repeated bitterly. “Are you sure I'm not meant to keep on compounding them?”

“Okay, Princey, enough,” said Virgil, stepping forward and grasping Roman's shoulder in a gesture that was equal parts friendly and forceful. “Lay off the self-pity already. Nobody here expects you to be the bad guy. Nobody here thinks you're the bad guy unless something goes really wrong, which apparently it did. And I can definitely tell you that nobody here wants you to be the bad guy. You owe us all an apology, but that can wait. The most important thing right now is that you fix that.” He pointed across the hilltop to where the Narnians were just settling the Logan-statue into place.

Roman's eyes found it, and his expression collapsed all over again, this time with a faint greenish tinge. But he steeled himself, got his feet under himself (pointedly ignoring Virgil's offer of a hand up), and made himself walk over to the quartz form of his friend. “I-I don't know if I can,” he said. “I used the Witch's power to...and I don't have it anymore. She has it back now, she's back, and—”

“Try,” said Aslan, the single syllable falling like the closing of an oaken door.

Roman made a short nod, gulping hard, and set his attention to undoing the enchantment. He drew his sword, willed it to act again as a magic wand, and focused on Logan. On making flesh (or whatever the Sides were, in the mindscape) instead of stone. On making him live again. He put all his power of wishing into it.

Nothing happened. Logan remained frozen in crystal. Roman staggered back a step or two, panting with distress. “I am losing control over the Imagination,” he said in a voice that was almost a squeak. “I can't even... It's probably for the reason Patton said. I...I...” Without another word, he dropped his sword and fled down the slope of the hill and into the green trees.

“Roman, wait!” called Patton, to no effect.

“Bye, bro!” Remus added with an over-the-top wave.

“I will see to him,” said Aslan. “But first...” He nosed Logan for a moment, then huffed out a breath over him. Satisfied, he padded away after Roman.

For a moment still, nothing changed. Virgil was the one to spot the subtle first sign: the dark lines filling themselves in on Logan's chest, tracing the shape of his logo, the bespectacled brain. The black color spread out quickly from there as his shirt softened into fabric, and within seconds, his face and hands flushed peach, his hair was brown and rippling in the light breeze, and Logan was back and... toppling over with a little shout of surprise as he overbalanced.

“LOGAN!” Patton exulted, tackle-hugging the Logical Side in his unbridled joy, adding to the confusion of his waking.

They decided later that it was, on the whole, worth it.

Start small.

It wasn't the first time Roman had lost control over the Imagination during an adventure. The stories sometimes took on a life of their own, after all, and that occasionally meant defying the author no matter how he tried to assert himself.

What was different this time was that he had also become the villain. The story had pushed him into it, but...had it, really? That was the question that needed answering.

I thought I was your hero...

Thomas doesn't want a wicked Creativity...

If he could take control back, then it meant he wasn't the bad guy after all, and things would be all right.

He had found a shaded grove with bare, reasonably dry dirt that he could sit on while he brooded and tried the smallest thing of all: making a mushroom. If he could coax a little fungus cap up out of the soil, he would know he wasn't too far gone. If not...well...better just focus on doing it.

So far, no luck. The ground remained agonizingly mushroom-free.

He became aware of a looming presence in the grove with him, and barely glanced over his shoulder at the bulky form of Aslan. “Oh. Hi,” he said. There didn't seem to be much else to say.

“I have restored Logan, and he is well,” said the Lion.

Roman turned back to his total lack of mushrooms. “Of course you did,” he sighed. “I made you to be able to do everything Aslan can in the books. Which is pretty much everything , since...you know. So why can't I do any of it now?” He blinked back a tear or two. “Why couldn't I fix Logan?”

“You did very well. You tried. That was all I asked.”

“For all the good it did.” He pulled up a handful of new grass and let the blades fall, a few at a time, through his fingers. “I don't know what to do anymore. I made all of this—I made you—so I could give them a fun, simple adventure and be the hero in a world where heroism and villainy are clean-cut...and it turned out I was supposed to be the villain all along. What do I do with that? Patton said it: Thomas doesn't want a wicked Creativity. I can't make his dreams come true if I'm not the hero...but even the Imagination doesn't want me to be the hero anymore...so what does that leave?”

Aslan circled around until he was in front of Roman and lay down on his belly, his bulk making the grove tremble. “Roman...do you really believe you are meant to be the villain?”

“I must be. I voluntarily went to the Witch. We...I stole your power! And then I took the Witch's power! I basically became her!”

“Yes. And then you released my power, and in the process gave up hers. You chose to turn away from that path. And I would say that the change began even earlier. Do you remember how you came to acquire the Witch's power?”

“Of course. I took it from her because she was...” Roman's eyes widened. “Because she was going to hurt the others, and it was the only way to keep them safe. I didn't even intend to take it for myself, it just happened that way.”

“Precisely. In a world where heroism and villainy are clean-cut...what would you call someone who thwarts a villain in order to protect the innocent?”

Roman made a half-hearted snicker. “You know, you sounded like Logan just then.”

“Are you avoiding the question?”

“No...but even if I was a hero in that moment, I sure went hard to the bad afterward.”

“Until you stopped yourself.”

For the first time, Roman actually lifted his head to meet Aslan's gaze. He studied the Lion's bottomless amber eyes, looking for even a hint of manipulation, but found only absolute sincerity. After a long moment, he found his words again.

“So which am I? The hero or the villain?”

“Any answer I could give to that question would be misleading. You worry too much about what you are. You might do better to think instead about what you choose to do. And what you will choose to do.”

“One thing's for sure...like Virgil said, I owe the others a major apology.”

“Indeed you do.”

“But I don't know if I can face them yet.”

“Try,” Aslan said as he had before...except that his tone was much lighter this time. “I will be with you.”

“Will they forgive me?”

“There is only one way to find out.”

Roman nodded slowly, and carefully stood. “Let's find out, then.”

At his feet, unnoticed, a tiny mushroom swelled from the earth.

A hush fell over the hilltop as Roman returned, walking stiffly as if he had to force every step. His head was slumped, his arms folded tightly across his chest. Aslan trailed him by several paces, and hung back when Roman stopped, a courteous distance from the other Sides. He didn't look up as he took a deep breath and said, “I...I have...something to say,” in a thick voice.

The others all traded glances. And traded glances again. “Go on...” Patton prompted in as neutral a tone as he could manage.

It seemed an eternity before Roman forced “...i'm sorry...” through a throat half-clogged with unshed tears. Suddenly he was sobbing into his hands, his knees slowly buckling.

Patton lunged for him, but to his surprise, Virgil beat him by a hair, gathering the Prince into his arms and helping him down into a kneeling position on the grass. “I gotcha, Princey,” he said. “Get it out, it'll be okay.”

“I'm so, so sorry!” Roman wailed, clutching at Virgil as he were the edge of a cliff. “It wasn't what I wanted at all but it seemed like the Imagination did and...Patton, I'm sorry about the ice, and Logan—oh, god, Logan, I'm SO sorry I...” He trailed off into more wrenching, ugly sobs while Virgil tightened the huge, Patton joined in, and Logan placed a steady hand on Roman's heaving shoulders. Without at any point speaking the words “I forgive you,” all three of them made them understood.

(Unnoticed by the four of them, Remus stepped forward and opened his mouth to say something. Janus calmly silenced him.)

Roman cried for a long time. He cried until he was out of tears and nearly out of breath, until the exertion of bawling left him limp in the others' arms. Only then did the storm finally subside, leaving Roman with a peculiar empty space inside him where something had drained away. At its center was a hard, sharp little knot of hurt, no longer wrapped in the resentment and bluster he had been using to cushion it. He sagged, depleted and hollow, in the embrace of his companions, and like opposing magnetic fields, their presence kept the nugget of pain suspended safely away from his emotional nerves, until by and by something new began to trickle into the empty place to shield him from the sharpest edges.

Roman took a deep breath, and felt as though he were breathing in light. “So,” he said, hoarse but with a genuine warmth that they had all been missing, “I've been acting like an idiot, haven't I?”

There was a pause, and then Virgil said, “You were acting?”

Roman shoved him away with amused annoyance, and the whole scene might have dissolved into absurdity had Janus not loudly and meaningfully cleared his throat. Roman was suddenly intensely, mortifyingly aware of their audience, and he got to his feet, slapping grass debris off his trousers, cheeks burning with more than just tear tracks.

“Far be it from me to interfere with you four,” Janus said, “but are we all done here? No loose ends to tie up?”

Remus pried his hand free of his mouth with his other hand. “Heh heh, you said 'tie up!' What about me, Roman? Don't I get an apology?”

Roman pulled a face. “I haven't done anything to you. And as for you...” he went on, turning to Janus, “...I don't know if I'm ready to be sorry yet.”

“Fair enough, I suppose. I appreciate your honesty.”

“Do you, though?”

Janus shrugged extravagantly, half-smiling.

“But to answer your question...you can all leave if you want. The Imagination will let you out. But I still need to deal with the White Witch.”

“But you were the White Witch,” said Janus. “Weren't you?”

“Not exactly. I took her...I'll tell you how that all worked later, if you want. The point is, she's back now, as herself, and she still needs to be defeated if this story is to have a proper happy ending.”

“That doesn't seem so hard,” said Patton. “Aslan is here and he brought spring back, you're here and we've made up...if we're following the book, then we're back on track!”

“Indeed,” said Aslan, startling the heck out of Roman, who hadn't heard him approach. “At your request, Roman, we can proceed with the story as you originally intended.”

It would be so easy...just hand the reins to the big omnipotent god-lion and let him take care of everything, secure in the knowledge that the story had already been written. “No,” Roman said. “Some stories are about a wrongdoer being redeemed by a higher power, and those certainly have their time and place.” He smoothed down the front of his suit, adjusted his sash and cuffs, and reclaimed his sword from where he had dropped it on the hilltop. “This story is going to be about the wrongdoer fixing his own fuck-up.” Patton gasped at the curse word, which was gratifying in its own way. “I'm going to fight her myself. She'll want revenge on me anyway, for stealing her power. I'm going to let her think she can get it...and take her down.”

“Ooh!” Remus quavered. “Sounds violent! I'm in!”

“N-no...well...I guess you can watch, but no interfering! I'm going to challenge her to a duel, for Pete's sake!”

“If Remus is going, then the rest of us should probably stick around too,” said Virgil. “Who knows how many of us it's going to take to keep him corralled? Besides, look what happened the last time we let you wander off to the Witch's castle by yourself.”

“Sure, rub it in,” said Roman. “So who all is coming with me?”

The Sides formed a line, standing shoulder-to-shoulder before Roman. “It would appear that we all intend to go,” said Logan.

“You don't have to face any more evils alone, kiddo,” said Patton.

“But let's make it quick, because I have a salon appointment at two,” said Janus, pretending to study his fingernails through his gloves. He glanced up and winked.

“And you do not wish my involvement in any way?” asked Aslan.

“No, I want...wait. Is indirect involvement a possibility? Because I'm suddenly thinking it's going to be a long walk to her castle, and it might be nice if you could...give us a boost? Please?”

“Certainly,” said the Lion. “Do not be alarmed.” With that, he blew out a long breath over the Sides, and the Hill of the Stone Table and its environs blew away as if they were only a flimsy façade, perhaps painted on scraps of paper. After that eye-wateringly disorienting moment, they took stock of their situation.

They were surrounded on three sides by tall, lush evergreens, and underfoot was mostly crumbly pine needles. On the fourth side was a brief meadow of patchy grass and sparse wildflowers, and beyond that was a lake, or perhaps a broad pond. It did not seem to have thawed completely with the springtime; there were plenty of ice chunks bobbing in the water. These may have broken off the large and solid bank or platform of ice near the center, upon which was the White Witch's castle.

It looked different by daylight, and out of the perpetual winter. The Witch's power yet extended as far as her own dwelling and a little area around it, but without a backdrop of oppressive snow to bolster it, the castle seemed a much poorer and punier structure. Some of the trees at their backs were taller than its spires.

“Thank you for the...” Roman said, trailing off as he realized that Aslan was not there.

“You did request only indirect assistance from him,” Logan pointed out.

“Yeah...” Roman swallowed and squared his shoulders. “Showtime,” he muttered, and strode forward toward the castle.

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[mc-i-r]

Thrill of the kill

Chapter 10

Masterpost

Ship: intrulogical

Pov: Virgil

Tw: guns, shooting, blood, dead bodies, yelling, suicide (by cop)

Let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 1794

A/N: As promised, here is the last chapter of Totk. I'm so proud of this and seeing everyone who reads it has made me infinitely happy. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the super long last chapter!

“We’ve got ‘em. They’re at a bank downtown, holding everyone inside hostage. If we hurry we can diffuse it before it gets too bad,” I said, leaning on the doorframe to Roman’s office. He quickly got up, following me out of the station and to the car. We mixed in with the flood of police cars exiting the precinct, heading downtown to finally catch those maniacs.

“What have we got so far?” Roman asked on our way up there. I kept my attention on the road, following the back end of the police car in front of me.

“They planned out a bank robbery, a big one at that. I won’t be surprised if this is their last, if I’m being honest with ya. We profiled that they would stop at nothing to get away with it and if that means suicide by cop then so be it. They’ve been escalating for a few months now so keep your eyes open. This one is gonna be big,” I said. We turned the final corner, both of us practically jumping out of the car. I found one of the first responding officers, asking what the current situation is.

“So far, they’ve locked the door from the inside with chains and sealed off all the exits. We counted around 50 to 60 hostages inside. They moved them to the middle of the building but that’s all we know so far,” he said. He got a call over his walkie talkie, stepping way to answer it. I turned to Roman, sighing and running a hand down my face.

“It’s worse than I thought. They’re not gonna let those hostages live,” I said. Roman tiled his head like a puppy in confusion. Dammit, why does he have to be so cute?! Virgil, not now.

“Why do you say that?” he asked. 

“Because, Roman, they’re psychopaths. They feel no empathy. No remorse for anything they’ve ever done. They don’t care about those people and they don’t care about the money. They’re only doing this because you need money to survive, no other reason. They aren’t going to let those people go, Roman. I know it,” I said, gesturing to the door. I started pacing, trying to figure out the best tactic to cool down the situation. None of them were good options.

“We need to set up communications. It’s the only thing I can think of. We need to get in their heads somehow. You! Yeah, you. Can you help me set this up?” I ask, calling out to a random officer. He nodded and came over to where me and Roman were trying to set up the communications operation. “Thank you….?”

“Oh, Officer Heart. But you can call me Patton,” the officer said, the cheery character extending a hand for me to take. I don’t do handshakes so Roman stepped in, shaking the man’s hand.

“I’m Roman and this grumpy man is Virgil,” he said. I glared at him, elbowing him in the side.

“Ow! Hey, what was that for!?” he said, grabbing his side. Patton just snickered, hooking up a few wires onto the recorder and phone. 

“You know what it was for, Princey, don’t act dumb,” I said, turning back to the task at hand.

“‘Princey’?” Patton asked, raising an eyebrow. Me and Roman both answered at the same time.

“It’s what I call this idiot.”

“It’s his special nickname for me.”

I let out a huff of air as Patton giggled, hooking in the last wire. I pressed the power button and the line went live.

“Okay, I’m gonna need you two to be quiet, okay?” I said. The both nodded and I punched in the number for the bank, picking up the phone and putting it to my ear. I heard it ring;

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Bingo.

“Eh? What d’you want?” a nasally voice sounded from the other end. It took all my willpower not to grimace. 

“Who is this?” I asked. It's best to set the scene first before getting into negotiations. 

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Virgil. Detective Virgil.”

“Ooh, fancy. So, Detective Virgil, what brings you here this fine day?” the obnoxious voice sounded from the other end. I’m going to have a headache by the end of this. 

“Oh, you know, just a couple of serial killers robbing a bank. The usual.” A shrill laugh rangs over the phone, making me pull the phone away from my ear to save my eardrums. “You never answered my question. Who is this?”

“Remus Prince at your service,” he said. That name made me pause. It was...familiar somehow. Remus, Remus, Remus. Prince. Remus Prince. Roman Prince. 

Oh. My. God.

It’s Roman’s twin brother.

Oh no.

“Do you plan on coming out anytime soon?” I asked. I had to keep my cool and try not to freak out that my crush’s partner’s lost brother is currently holding a bank hostage with his psychopathic boyfriend. 

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’. I sighed. ‘This is going to be a long conversation.’

“Then tell me, Remus, why the bank robbery? Why now?”

“Well, I was getting quite bored and thought a good ol’ bank heist would do the trick.”

"So you don’t have any friends to visit?”

“Friends? HA! I haven’t had a friend in years,” the eccentric man laughed. 

“Well I’m sure it’s hard to make friends when you murder them.”

“That was rude,” Remus pouted.

“So is murder,” I said, deadpan. “How do you plan on getting out of there? We’ve got all the exits covered, front and back.”

“I’m sure Logan will think of something. He always does.”

“So Logan is the other one? How long ha-”

“Hang on there sunshine, gimme a moment.” he interrupted. The line went silent for a second, the sound of distant yelling coming through on the other side. There was a gunshot, then another, and another; the sound echoing off the concrete walls. Several officers shouted, trying to advance forward to bust into the building. That would only panic them, making them shoot at random and kill more people than necessary. 

“DON’T MOVE IN!!” I yelled, commanding the officers to take a step back. I put the phone to my ear once more.

“I had to take care of something. I’m sorry, you were saying?” Remus said nonchalantly. I wondered just how many people he’s killed in his lifetime for this to be normal. I didn’t like that thought very much. 

“How long have you two known each other? You and Logan I mean,” I ask. I hear a humming noise come from the other end, indicating that he was thinking.

“About three years now,” he responded. 

“So you haven’t seen anyone except him for three years?” I asked.

“Nope!” he said, popping the ‘p’ once again. “And I’m not complaining either. I mean...have you seen that man?”

“Not even your brother?” I asked. The line went deathly silent; so much so that I thought he had hung up. The light on the monitor proved me otherwise though, as well as the burst of gunshots that came from inside. I heard the phone disconnect and I slammed the phone down in anger.

“Dammit! We almost had him,” I yelled. I started pacing again, trying to work away the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

“What happened? Why were there so many gunshots?” Roman asked, looking more confused than concerned.

“I must have struck a nerve. We need to move in soon or else this will end more bloody than we hope for,” I said. I tried to walk past Roman but he held an arm out, effectively stopping me in my tracks.

“Hey, are you good?” he asked, voice having dropped to almost a whisper. It was sweet how much he cares. If we weren’t in a hostage situation right now I probably would have finally confessed. 

“Yeah, I’m good. We just need to get them out of there,” I said, walking past him and to the line of officers. 

They had formed a barricade around the entrance of the bank, many of them already aiming their guns at the glass doors. I made my way over to them, joining in the line and aiming my gun as well. A minute or two later, Roman joined me, Patton following closely behind. I was getting ready to give the command for S.W.A.T to enter when two figures approached the door, both carrying guns, one undid the chains on the door while the other pushed the door open, both of them aiming their guns at us. 

I held up the signal for ‘hold fire’, analysing the two psychopaths that now stood in front of us. One officer yelled for them to put their guns down, both of them ignoring the command. They were almost in a daze, ignoring the outside world. The same officer warned them, saying that they would open fire. Again, they didn’t comply. Instead, they made their way closer to one another, guns still aimed at the line of officers. Their lips collided with one another, fingers pulling the trigger and opening fire. I ducked behind part of the barricade, shielding myself from the incoming bullets. They were doing it. They were actually doing it. 

They were going to die.

I took a breath and peeked around the barricade, watching as the two serial killers were almost riddled with bullets. Still, the two stayed locked in a kiss, holding on to each other. In their last moments, they pulled apart, both whispering something that was lost to time. Then, their bodies fell to the ground in a pool of blood, limp and growing cold. 

I never forgot that day. The day two lovers were caught in the whirlwind of bullets, how their love faded just like the life from their eyes. The day dozens of bodies are hauled out of that bank, their loved ones weeping at the sight. The final look they gave us before their bodies were torn to shreds. It was peaceful almost, like they had prepared for this since the moment they met. I suppose they had; having a plan in case things went wrong. It wasn’t just me that was haunted by that day. Roman almost broke down when he found out it was his brother, often visiting the crime scene and replaying the last moments of his lost brother’s life. I found him coming to my apartment almost every day, sobbing and almost collapsing from exhaustion. It was a sad day, one that ruined too many lives to count. It did help me realize something, something that I never forgot in the many years to come. 

People really will do anything for love.

Taglist:

@whattheremus @falsemood @braingoburr @midnightstorm-underthe-moon @martini46

[writer-and-artist27]

Okii-san

Or, I somehow pulled Okita Alter on the first ten pull I did on the Guda Guda 3 rerun banner (I was actually aiming for the Craft Essences, so the gold Alter Ego card kinda shocked me after all the pain that was getting Enkidu and Ishtar), and with her now sitting at Level 84 in my Chaldea (as of this writing this notes section/intro at 11:06 pm on 4/12/2021, after farming Embers for 3-4 hours on Golden Apples/Saint Quartz), I wanted to write this bit before bed.

I don't know all of Majiin's story yet, since I wasn't able to play the event's original run where she debuted, but I hope the emotions here are about right.

-------------------

"YEW BOW!"

Vy watched as Robin Hood's Noble Phantasm went off, incinerating the last Divine Arm of Dawn with plumes of purple smoke. Once the air cleared, she felt herself quietly exhale.

Another farming bit done.

"Battle finished, Senpai," Mash said faithfully, taking her Ortinax goggles off her eyes to rest them on top of her head. The sparkle in her purple eyes was all the more obvious thanks to the action, further accentuating the warm smile on her face. "Embers are all collected."

Vy stretched her arms in the air, standing on her tiptoes while nodding. Standing as a commander of Servants, while doable, still took something in social energy. Even if it was for the experience, it didn't help that wearing an outfit that supposedly came from the Far Side of the Moon felt a bit too exposing. Maybe it was the short skirt and lack of stockings. But then again, Vy couldn't voice it. Too much worry could mean overthinking it to the point of broadcasting to the other Servants. And the last few times that happened were embarrassing enough with Dr. Roman still around. So instead of that, she said, "Aye aye. Thank you for the support, beloved kouhai."

Mash blushed a little at the title, but still nodded with the same warm smile. "I-It's the least I can do, Senpai."

"And I'm always grateful for that, Mash." Vy shot her a smile back once she felt that telling crack in her spine, rocking her head back and forth. To everyone else, she took a breath before opening her mouth. "Good job, everyone!"

Robin Hood, the MVP of the quest this time, shot Vy a wry grin in return, saluting her with one pointer finger. "Getting to fight on the front lines is at least easier now," he quipped. "But give me a break sometimes, Master."

"Oh, shushie, big Robin, you have more energy than me and I'm the workaholic." Once his green eye was boring holes into her forehead, though, Vy amended it with a more kind, less sardonic, "If it helps, I'll give you a chocolate chip muffin later?"

The May King merely grinned. Before he could say anything, though, Ishtar let out a haughty laugh, hovering over Robin's head with Maana as she put a hand to her chin. "How delightfully droll, green Archer! All this work for a muffin! Nonsense! As the Goddess of Love, I could certainly help you with whatever thoughts you have lingering in your mind instead—"

"Sorry, little lady. Compared to my little sparrow's gifts, that offer is going to get a hard pass. Plus, you're not my type."

Ishtar wilted as soon as she bloomed, Maana descending to near ground level as a result. Nearby, Vy could hear Mash laugh sheepishly, adjusting her hold on her shield as the last member of their party made themselves known with a soft sigh at Vy's other side.

The back of a gloved hand brushed Vy's free one, the one that didn't have the Command Spells, and Vy tried not to flinch away at the new sensation. Sure, the being known as Okita Souji Alter was still someone Vy was trying to grasp in emotional understanding. Even when being close to Final Ascension, there was something about Okita's eyes lingering on Vy's form the entire time they went about farming for the Embers Okita needed that was a little... different from the other Servants in Chaldea's roster. And yes, Okita wasn't the first Alter Vy had ever contracted with. Saber Alter had that honor bagged. It didn't make the constant surveillance any less... strange to think about, really.

But Okita had still answered her call when Vy wasn't expecting it. More so after her original self and some others didn't. And considering the Lostbelts and what would come, all Vy could feel herself doing in response to the small touch was reach over and grab Okita's fingers before the Alter Ego could lurch away.

"Majiin-san?"

"Wh-What is it, Master?" Okita Alter said after a second of consideration, her pale yellow — almost silver, really, when looking up close — eyes automatically locking onto Vy as she tilted her head downwards. They were close enough to where Vy could see her own image reflected in Okita's darkened irises. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-No no, nothing really." Vy glanced down at their entangled hands, feeling the thoughts rush through her at that moment. "I just..."

Calloused. Signs of bruises. How long had she been—

Before me, where had she—

Okita Alter's hands reminded her of Archer EMIYA's.

To Vy, Okita Alter's touch felt like Shirou's.

A wind passed between them. Vy wasn't sure if it was from the simulator or her brain making up the sensation.

"...Vy?" Okita whispered.

Anxiety was bubbling up in her throat, but Vy still raised her head and looked up at the taller Alter Ego with what she hoped was a genuine smile. She couldn't help but tug and squeeze the Servant's fingers a bit tighter as she said in a softer voice, "Are you having fun working with us, Okii-san?"

Okita Alter blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Then many times over, as if gears were turning in her head before her eyes widened to the size of plates. "Okii...san?"

"You're the only Okita I ever got to know," Vy said with a shy laugh, doing her best to ignore the eyes of the other Servants while speaking her mind. "So, Okii-san. And, I know you're not at full power yet, but, let me try again..." Vy gulped, finishing with a softer, "Are you happy right now?"

Am I helping you enough like how I did with Shirou, Mash, and big Robin?

Okita Alter stared at Vy for a while. The attention was enough to make Vy tempted to run, to want to let go of Okita's hand and hide her face away, but something inside of her was forcing her to stay still.

Silvery-yellow eyes reflected Vy's image for what felt like a long time before they closed, a soft sigh on Okita's lips.

"Okii-san? Um. Sh-Should I have not gone with that name? Should we go farm a bit more instead? O-Or should I go cook some oden when we—"

Instead of a verbal answer, Okita's long sword had disappeared into visible sparkles, and before Vy knew it, hands were reaching under her elbows, winding around her waist and—

"W-Wah!"

Despite being lifted up in the air and feeling very much like a teddy bear as a result (what was it with Servants either headpatting or hugging her like this?), Vy couldn't miss the warm solemn smile on Okita's face. "O-Okii-san?"

"...My anchor, my lord, my Master," Okita said in slow, gentle succession, her hold on Vy's figure almost considerate as she slowly brought her arms in to let Vy rest her hands on Okita's shoulders. "Why worry about that?" A nose gently brushed hers, sparking a sudden giggle from Vy's lips at the ticklish feeling as Okita smiled again. "Believe me, my shooting star." A shaky breath brushed Vy's cheeks as one of Okita's hands rested on the back of Vy's head, barely missing her ponytail and almost cradling her as their foreheads touched. Something sang through their Master-Servant mental connection.

"Okii-san—?"

"I honestly wish this kind of happiness could go on forever."

...Oh.

It was telling that none of the other Servants were saying anything.

Vy still raised her hands to wrap them around Okita's neck, pushing Okita's forehead back with a bit of force. Not enough to cause pain, but enough for a reminder. "We can just make more, Okii-san," Vy whispered, closing her eyes. "Even when this happiness goes away, we can still make more. Whether it's through memories or spending time together, happiness can happen. As long as we're alive, we can do it."

Once Vy opened her eyes, Okita was already in the process of putting her back down to Earth, that same solemn smile on her face. "Of course, Master."

It felt like another promise Vy knew she had to keep.

-------------------

"Emiya-kun! We need dinner!"

"Sheesh, even when possessed by a goddess, you're still so rude..."

Vy watched from afar as the other Servants slowly filed into the Novum Chaldea Dining Hall for dinner, her back against one of the hallway walls as her mental battery sputtered.

Maybe I should take a break from Ember Gathering for a while—

A soft whish of the air was all the signal she had before the scent of wood and smoke graced her nose. Coincidentally, a gloved hand rested on top of her head as a part of something green shaded half of her vision.

"...Robin?"

"You could go join them," Archer said softly. "You don't have to stay here, Vy."

"...Later." Vy tried to hold back a yawn. When it became obvious Robin Hood was staring holes into her head, though, she quietly amended the situation with a tiny, "When I have more energy, big Robin. Kinda operating on low social battery at the moment."

Plus Okii-san apparently hugs harder than most people, it seems.

The hand on her head patted her hair almost immediately. "Fine fine."

You should let yourself rest more before you try to take care of others, Master.

"Just, um. Big Robin?"

The headpatting stopped for a second. "What is it, little sparrow?"

As much as her heart was protesting at the selfishness of her brain, Vy still found herself admitting, "...Could I just stay with you for a bit? Don't wanna move for a while..."

Silence. Then, Robin Hood said in the most deadpan voice possible, "That sounds like you need a nap more than anything, Vy."

Vy tried not to grumble, ducking her head. She tried not to fidget once Robin's other hand reached up to her ponytail, undoing her hair tie to let all the long locks flow freely. "I know, I know... I love you too, Robin, just, less quip, more hug..."

Robin Hood paused, long enough for Vy to feel something in the air shift between them, before the hand on top of her head tugged her one way, enough for Vy's shoes to scuff the sides of the wall. In spite of the force, all Vy could do was blearily blink as soon as a faint kiss was pressed to her forehead.

Huh? "Robin...?"

"You selfless Master," Robin Hood muttered against the crown of her hair, arms winding around her waist to pull her to his chest. "Rest more for our sakes too, won't you? Killing yourself won't help anyone."

"I-I'm not killing myself when it's helping all of you find better things in life..."

Robin Hood sighed. Another kiss pressed against Vy's head, this time more noticeable to the point of her heart skipping a beat, before the No Face May King covered her shoulders. "Silly Master. Life is more than just giving things up for 'the better.'"

What will happen to us and that 'better' if you're not around to see it?

As much as Vy wanted to, she couldn't answer. Sleep was beckoning. The last thing she remembered before the peaceful darkness came was something gently brushing her lips. For all she knew, the sensation may as well have been the beginning of a dream.

[xlehukax]

Still Beating Heart

Foreword: Hello! I’ve been working on this thing for a little while now, and it’s finally done! This fanfiction is set in the Pediatric Doctors AU that I made, that you can learn more about here.  It’s done in conjunction to writings by @eeveeeclair246​, to who has the first installment of this series, titled Inefficent Iron, which you can find here. And, if you don’t want to read on Tumblr, I get it! This will also be on Archives in a hot minute, so check my Masterpost for the link. Now, on with the show!

Ships: Roman x Virgil, Implied Remus x Logan

Word Count: 10215

Warnings: LANGUAGE, Alcoholism, Bars, Panic Attacks, Medical Issues (ie. weak hearts), Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Rape, that creeping feeling of regret. 

Summary: Virgil’s always been the quiet nurse, the prickly one, the don’t talk to me unless there’s an issue one. Roman’s fresh out of a relationship, and looking to go out on the town, and needs a friend to go along with. And Virgil can’t say no to his crush, even if they work in the same place. 

~~~~

It’s just another day at the office: by that, Virgil means, Patton’s handing out cookies, Logan’s being a work-aholic and refuses to let any of the patients go to Janus, in which is being very meticulous and annoyingly good at his job and refusing to let Virgil do his, Remus is going through the latest urine samples, and Roman is doing what Roman does best. Ranting about his latest breakup while painting his nails in the receptionist booth. 

And Virgil just happens to be the only one around, after Patton leads the last patient of the day to Logan and the waiting room finally empties. Virgil simply sighs in defeat, and tries to shrink into his nurse uniform. Let it be known, he did not choose to be there. Or ever.

“Emo, are you even listening?” 

“Yup, yes, I am, absolutely,” 

“Alright, just had to make sure, you know, you tend to ignore me, which you’d think is impossible but you never cease to surprise me in that regard. Anyway, so this guy, Ethan- total dreamboat, eyes bluer than you’d ever believe. So I met him on this app, and we went for drinks a few weeks ago: and thirty minutes in, I’m in love. He’s a painter. Sweetest guy- we end up at his apartment, and you know- but I was in it for the long haul. Virgil, I was really ready for a long-term with this guy. He seemed  like he was down for it too… and then, just yesterday, you know what I found in his apartment?” 

“Another person,” Virgil sighs.

“Some floozy, blond and covered in hickeys, and Ethan painting her. Like, I didn’t know what to be more offended about: the fact that he cheated on me or that he doesn’t have a sexy painting of me!” 

“Mhmm…” Virgil’s almost fallen asleep, and doesn’t even notice Roman hovering utop him until he’s right in his face. 

“Virgil-” Roman shouts, and Virgil startles right into Roman’s arms. Which he now is realizing quite quickly are not just incredibly strong because they hold his weight easily, but landing their faces inches apart. Virgil sucks in a gasp- Roman smirks. “Hey there… you know, you’re not too bad looking yourself. Under all that makeup, you’re quite the princess, aren’t you?” It takes Virgil a moment to craft a response, he’s so scatterbrained and blushing. 

“Fuck off Princey, I’m not your latest conquest,” Virgil hisses, still a large flush on his features. Roman flicks his nose. 

“Yeah, but you’re still cute. Maybe I should date you~” 

“In your fucking dreams- you cycle through boyfriends so fast, I’ll be dust in the wind,” 

“Hmm,” Roman still hasn’t let Virgil go, and it is not helping the warmth in his face whatsoever, “Can’t argue with that.” And then Virgil is unceremoniously dumped onto the chair he was sitting in, with Roman towering above him. Did he always have those pretty eyes? He’s got these fantastically plump lips, it really shows when he’s smirking like that. And that hair is quite… quite royal-  now that he’s looking at it- 

Bloody hell, stop, now’s not the time to fawn, Virgil curses at himself. Virgil has always been introverted, and this- this interaction, Roman’s boldness with him… it’s completely unfamiliar. A bold move, reaching into his space, completely ignoring all of the protective glares and hisses that Virgil had in place. Disregarded his shields completely. Virgil has been harboring a bit of an infatuation with this confident musical wonder as of late, and this is not helping matters. Roman chuckles, running a hand through his hair. 

“Well, J.Delightful, now I simply must make use of this situation,” 

“What are you getting at-” Virgil snarls, to which Roman simply grins widely.

“You’re going to be my new wingman. There’s a open mic at a gay bar I frequent, and if I’m going to find somebody, then I need someone else to be my safety buddy. You know, watch for creepy old men who hit on me and all that jazz,” Roman pushes, eyes alight with excitement, “Patton won’t go with me anymore because he doesn’t like the loud noises, Logan doesn’t drink, I’m not asking Janus to come he’ll scare them all away or steal the attention, and Remus- well, you can probably guess why not Remus, and it’s not because people approach us because we’re twins. I can’t believe I’ve never asked you to come with me! It’ll give us some good outside of work bonding time too. Isn’t it great?” 

“I don’t want to,” Virgil grumbles. Roman tuts. 

“Oh come on now- am I so hard to be around?” No, Virgil thinks, and that’s the problem. “Pfft, if it’s really so hard, I’ll just cave and bring around someone else.” 

“No…” Virgil whispers, so quiet that he’s sure it’s nearly silent, and Roman’s eyebrow perks up. 

“Hmm? Was that a no I just heard?” 

“I just- I’m not good in social situations, do you even really want me there? I’ll probably just screw your chances, scare people off,” 

“Perfect! I’ll need someone to scare someone off,” 

“But- I’ll damper on your fun,” 

“Never! You will never cease to be fun to poke fun at,” 

“I don’t know, Princey. You really want me there?” Virgil says, looking away and speaking in hushed tones still. Roman grabs his pale hands, squeezing them tightly. 

“I need you, Virge,” Roman purrs. Virgil blushes harder, somehow, and tucks his head into his shoulder and murmurs his agreement. Damn it. “Wonderful! I’ll pick you up at 9, how does that sound?” 

“Wait, tonight?” Virgil squawks. Roman drops his hands, blessedly, and steps back from him shrewdly. Smart, as Virgil’s immediate response is to throw a punch. Roman easily sidesteps. 

“Oh, yes- did I not mention that? Tonight. It’s Friday,” Roman nods, smiling wickedly. Oh my god, I need to bathe, I need to find something nice-ish to wear, unearth my good eyeshadow, fuck it all I need new skin- 

“Hey, hey, don’t freak. You don’t have to get all fancy for me: wear what makes you comfortable, and I’ll stop by your apartment at 9,” 

“Wait a second- how do you know where I live?” Virgil says, suddenly horrified. Roman snickers. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Uh, yes I would,” Virgil growls. 

“Pfft, I need to know everyone’s addresses, I’m the receptionist, Virge. It’s my job,” Roman scoffs. Virgil blushes: well, now he feels foolish. But it reminds him: Roman and himself work together. It doesn’t matter if something comes out of this, as it is- Remus and Logan are constantly being sickeningly cute around the office. The real problem is if he screws this up, and still has to go to work with him the next day. This is a really bad idea. But… When will he have another golden opportunity like this one? 

“Okay, okay- 9, right?”

“Yes! Thank you, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance- you’re going to have so much fun. I’ll sing a song just for you, as thanks,” Roman grins cheekily, Virgil blows the hair out of his eyes, attempting nonchalant despite the whirlwind of anxiety confined within. 

“Alright, fine, whatever. Should I- should I dress a certain way? Wait, is there a dress code? How much money should I bring? Is it credit or cash? Do they have food there? Will I have to dance?” Virgil shudders at the thought of dancing, even with Roman, who is currently blinking rapidly under the onslaught of questions. 

“Okay erm, just dress how you normally do? Scratch that, a peg hotter than a hoodie, thank you. No dress code, have you ever been to a bar? Just bring your wallet, think about how many drinks you want, and I’m dancing whether you’re going to or not, so-” 

Virgil takes notes internally, already too worried about this whole ordeal. He should really just cancel, say he just remembered something, but he knows he’ll regret that later. Either way, the only other thing he’s doing tonight is hanging with his spider, Missy, and watching Unsolved Mysteries. So…

“I’ll- I’ll see you later then, Princey,” Virgil murmurs, before gathering the few things he has around him and breezing past whilst trying to make it appear like he’s not running away. 

“See you!! At least pretend to be excited- It’s going to be one hell of a night, Virge- you won’t regret this!” 

As Virgil silently clocks out (Patton will take over the end of the day nurse activities, it’s fine) he thinks to himself, I certainly hope not. 

~~~~~

And then, it’s already 8:50, too soon. Virgil showered, twice, because the first time he used his usual unscented body wash for work and not the one that smells like lavender and violets and by jove Roman inviting him out after work deserves more than unscented. Then the clothes resulted in a mini fashion show in front of the mirror for an hour, where upon he finally settled on a black button down over a grey undershirt with some black ripped jeans (it took him another 25 minutes to decide on mostly untucked in a ‘I just threw this on’ careless feel), and his favorite purple and black hoodie just in case it got cold… of which he ended up shivering right away anyhow and put it on anyway. 

And then a whole other hour on makeup: a very tasteful black eyeliner and purple and black smokey eye with just a hint of dark glitter. Some lipstick, and a little dust on his cheekbones, and Virgil finally felt confident, an emotion that lasted all of ten minutes when he realized that he hadn’t chosen a pair of shoes yet. 

The shoes took another thirty minutes alone. And then the idea of changing his hair up a little occurred to him, and that was another hour wasted that ended with keeping his regular low-hanging hair anyway. 

And now he’s trying not to look like he’s waiting, because he doesn’t want to be waiting on Roman, but he needs to see if his car comes up, but he doesn’t want to be desperate, so he’s panicking slightly in his apartment with all the lights off because he was going to leave and now he’s freaking out instead, because he doesn’t know if it’s more appropriate to wait for Roman to text him that he’s outside and head downstairs after that or to just head downstairs now like a normal person or maybe he just shouldn’t go. His head slowly stops pounding, and his breath evens out, the oncoming anxiety attack fading away with the thought. Yeah, maybe Virgil can stay home instead- there’s too many variables anyway. 

When Virgil was young, he was always making decisions like this. He was sick, not like crazy-sick, but sick. Anemia, coupled with coronary heart disease, topped off with bronchitis. He had weak lungs, weak heart, weak blood- his whole body was frail, and sometimes his blood didn’t move around fast enough to make him work right. There was no running around, no nothing: he was constantly worried about every little thing, because his parents were. Did you take your pills today? How was your bloodwork? Are you feeling woozy? Until Virgil just stopped leaving the house whatsoever. It was just easier. There was no chance of passing out while crossing a street and getting run over, never going to embarrass himself at school by having a heart attack… 

And wouldn’t you know, staying at home made him only sicker. No muscle mass whatsoever, pale as a ghost, always so cold, so frail from not getting enough nutrients. His parents made the best decision of their lives and set him down the path that led him here by… by hiring a nurse. A kind nurse, with funny jokes and encouragement, who helped him go outside for the first time in months. Who taught him little things to make him stronger, like light weights. Virgil grew out of his heart disease, and though he still had bronchitis and anemia, he regularly took medications which made them easy to handle. And just like that, Virgil was no longer sickly (at least externally, he still had anxiety, but he’s managing it). Then he was a normal teenager, who wanted to be strong enough to help someone in the same way that nurse had. 

 Here Virgil is now- and he’s not going to fall into that same loop he was in as a kid. He’s better now, medicating only when needed. Virgil is all lean-muscle, and he’s better than his anxiety. He can totally go on a date-not-a-date with his crush to a gay karaoke bar. Totally. Taking a deep breath, Virgil checks his phone (which is fully charged with two mini backup batteries on his keys tucked into his back pocket) and realizes with horror that Roman texted a whole six minutes ago while Virgil was panicking that he was waiting downstairs.

“Shit!” Virgil slams his door, and just runs down the stairs instead of taking the elevator (he only lives on the fourth floor anyway, because anything higher than like 10 fire ladders can’t get to and there’s a 50% possibility of surviving a fall from four stories), and hopes his meticulous makeup job isn’t ruined. By Roman’s expression, he doesn’t think it did- 

He had been grinning teasingly, mouth open to say some quip, but his jaw goes slack when he sees Virgil. Roman’s eyes are wide, leaning up against his red car, as he watches Virgil stop by the curb only a few feet in front of him. Roman whistles.

“Damn, Virgil… you look- damn. Wowza, do you clean up nice,” Roman falls over his words, making Virgil flush. Roman thinks I look good- I did good, it’s all good. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Princey,” Virgil whispers. Because really, he doesn’t: Roman’s white dress shirt has the top two buttons undone, showing off his pectorals and just a hint of his abs, and some nice pants. His hair is done over to the side, and one crown earring hangs from an ear. It’s really a delightful look, but makes Virgil feel out of place with his dark clothes and his heavy makeup. Roman only has a light bit. “Did I go overboard? I can- I can wash it off,” Virgil asks, hating that he’s offering to change this intensive and difficult look for a stupid guy.

“No, no- you look gorgeous. Seriously Virge, you should do my makeup. Like, I feel outdone, and I never feel that way! Come on, get on in, let’s go,” Roman shoos Virgil into the car, where he feels just as much if not more awkward. Still, he’s excited, out of this world excited: Roman likes how he looks. Roman finds him attractive, and they’re going to the club, together. 

Not together, Virgil- you’re just his buddy. Virgil has to remind him that this is not a date, that he’s gotten all worried and dressed up for sitting at a bar and watching Roman flirt with other men. It makes his heart ache, but at least they’re together now .

“We’re almost there, Emo. You ready to have a good time?” 

“I uh- erm, I mean. Yeah. Yeah sure, I’ll have fun sitting in the corner doing fucking nothing, that’s what I’m ready for,” Virgil’s suddenly defensive and feels horrible about the crude outburst. 

“Oh my- Virge, do you not want to go? I don’t want to force you into anything!” No, I do, I do! 

“Eh, it’s whatever. I got all dressed up, be a shame to not go out. I just- I don’t like to- I’m-” 

“I know you don’t like being left alone! Don’t worry, I’ll be close by the whole time. I’ll watch you if you watch me, yeah?” 

“Why are you so worried about being watched? You’ve clearly been to a lot of these things…” Virgil changes the subject to hide his flush at Roman’s empathy for him. 

“Ah, well- I have been to a lot of these things, and I’ve had some… unfavorable experiences. A few times now, guys have put stuff in my drinks, or waited for me to get drunk and then take me home. It’s… it’s not what I want. I go to meet new people, not to get a one-night stand that I didn’t want. They don’t make me feel good. I hate it,” Roman growls at the road, and Virgil makes what might be a rash decision and places his long pale hands on Roman’s tanned worn ones by the gearshift. Roman looks over at him, and Virgil ducks his head. Roman smiles. 

“I’ll watch out for you, I promise. I don’t really drink either, ‘cuz of my blood issues, so I can drive home too,” Virgil murmurs, still looking away. Roman moves his hand around, grips his tightly. Virgil doesn’t look at it, but knows they’re intertwined, and it makes his head hurt. 

“Thank you, Virge. Aaand, we’re here,” the bar is bright in the dark evening, a neon sign advertising it, and Roman pulls into a parking space behind the building. He takes his key, and reaches out to put it in Virgil's pocket. “Don’t trust myself to hand em over, this thing’s my baby. I’m trusting you, though, and you gotta be good about that, alright?” 

Virgil nods, and allows Roman to exit the car and help him out the other side. Roman throws his arm over Virgil’s shoulders, and saunters into the bar. As expected, it is loud. Someone’s already singing, a song by Chicago, and is doing pretty okay. There are bright lights here and there, some spots illuminated completely and others in darkness. There’s a whole load of people here too: some make eyes at him as he walks in. Virgil sticks to Roman, who chuckles, as they both head to the bar. The bartender seems to recognize Roman. 

“Here for the open mic, are you, King?” 

“You know it! Sign me right on up,” Roman laughs. Roman’s arm drops from Virgil’s shoulders. The bartender rolls his eyes, swipes some green dyed locks from his vision and writes Roman’s name on a pad. 

“What song are you singing?” 

“It’s a surprise, like usual, Vincent, I don’t know why you even bother asking,” 

“Uh huh. And I see you brought a friend… you wanna sing too, baby-cheeks?” Vincent asks, leaning forwards. 

Virgil hisses at him, then clears his throat.

“I don’t fucking sing,” he snarls, adding in his mind, in public. Vincent smiles knowingly. 

“Aha, a feisty one. You really know how to pick em’, eh? Can I get you a drink then?” Virgil feels like he’s about to explode: this is not what he signed up for. He is here to be with Roman and watch out for him, not take this guy’s shit. Roman notices, and slings his arm once more over him. 

“Nah, just a work colleague. He’s a nurse~ and doesn’t drink. It’s a shame, I know, but it’ll work better in my favor anyway. I’ll save money on the taxi. Incredible Sulk, how does a black coffee sound?” 

“I guess that’s okay,” Virgil grumbles, glaring at this man even as he shrugs and complies. They both take a seat at the bar, Roman ordering some complicated fancy thing to match his personality and Virgil immediately hunching over his hot coffee. It’s surprisingly good for a bar, bitter yet flavourful, and Virgil finds himself smiling down at it. 

“Eh, I think that smile says it’s more than just okay!” Roman purrs, shimmying closer to Virgil and bumping their shoulders. It seems as though the alcohol is already having an effect, his disposition somehow brighter. Virgil shies away slightly. Someone else saddles up to the bar and introduces himself. This man has long swoopy raven hair, and is even more lanky than Logan. He leans by Roman, eyes colder than Virgil would like. The dark haired fellow decides to listen in on the conversation… just in case. 

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” the stranger says. Roman puts his hand on the bar, slurps the rest of his drink down in one go.

“I’m not sure- I do tend to get around. Where do you think you know me from, blue eyes?” Oh no. The guy’s got blue eyes, he didn’t even notice that. Virgil mourns his only chance at getting with Roman- this guy’s stealing it. 

 “Oh, I know! The theatre, right? You were Jason Dean in the Heathers production! Scary shit, man. You’re a fantastic singer. Hey, can we get another drink?” the stranger waves over Vincent, who fixes Roman another bright cocktail. Roman immediately starts fiddling with the straw, and looks up at the stanger. 

“The name’s Roman. What’s yours?”

“I’m Lucian. It’s nice to meet you. Man, it’s so loud here: I wish we could go~,” Lucian says. Virgil narrows his eyes at the stranger, takes another sip of coffee. Roman smirks, and turns and winks at Virgil as if to say Look at this catch. Virgil tries to smile, but is pretty sure it’s just a grimace. It may just be Virgil’s luck (despite how it affects Roman) but Virgil notices Lucian dropping something in Roman’s drink. Virgil slams the table, slaps Lucian, and pushes the drink away. He fists his hand in Lucian’s shirt, able to lift the man a foot or two in the air. Patrons gawk at the events unfolding, Roman seems shocked. 

“Don’t fucking touch Roman’s drink, what the fuck did you put in there you bastard?” 

“Dude- that’s my drink. It was a little additive, I can consume alcohol without risk without it! He seemed to be enjoying it so much, I asked for one too, can you please- let me down, you’re hurting me-” Virgil snarls, but drops him anyway. Roman touches Virgil’s shoulder gently. 

“He’s right, it’s his drink, Virgil. Thank you for defending me, but really it’s okay-” Roman reassures him, smiling placatingly, and all Virgil can feel is embarrassed. Embarrassed out of his mind and his anxiety is shooting through the roof. 

“I-I… I- uh… I-” to make matters worse, another man comes stomping up to him, throws his drink on Virgil. His hoodie is now soaked, his shirt too. Virgil’s lower lip trembles. He grits his jaw against them, holding it in. Despite the fact that he’s made a total fool of himself in front of Roman. Virgil wants to bite his nails, to go home, to run away and never return. This new man points his finger right in Virgil’s face. 

“Who the hell do you think you are, grabbing my husband’s shirt like that?” he growls. Virgil wants to hide in his sopping wet hoodie. Hide and never come back. 

“I- erm, uh- umm-” 

“My friend here is very sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding. Hey, can I buy the both of you a drink? Tell me how you met,” Roman leads them both away, looking pityingly at Virgil, “How bout you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up a little, huh? I’ll take care of this.” 

Virgil ducks his head and runs with his tail between his legs. He throws himself into the surprisingly clean stall and locks it tight before falling down on the seat fully clothed. I can’t believe you did that you fucking idiot you’ll never shape up what were you thinking doing some stupid stunt like that? You’ve ruined it. Ruined everything. There’s no way Roman will ever want you now. Virgil’s panic attack is coming on quickly, like a train hurtling down a track with no end in sight. He doesn’t want it to happen, but he starts to cry. 

Usually, Virgil looks to his familiar hoodie for comfort. But his hoodie is soaked, and Virgil is shivering in it. He should take it off. But he doesn’t want to, he just wants to wallow in it and wither away. 

You’ll never amount to anything. You should have just stayed inside: no one would have missed you. Roman had to clean up after your mess, you were supposed to be helping and now you’re just rotting in the bathroom like an idiot. Why did you even come, if you’re just going to be a let down? 

Virgil’s breath is coming out in uneven gasps, his heart is palpitating dangerously. He really shouldn’t be alone, he should go out and- no, no, no. His skin is too tight, his head is too small, and his hands are pressing bruises into his arms, he is holding them so tight. What is he supposed to do again? When his thoughts get too big for his mind and he feels like fainting, feels like how he was when he was younger and like his heart could just give out any minute and the next time he blinked open his eyes he’d be on a hospital bed. 

His hazy, anxiety-filled mind vaguely recalls a conversation he had with Logan  once, after he had pulled him back from an attack in the workplace (he mixed up two patients and fell apart in an empty room) that he should… he should ask for help. Call me, he had said, no matter the time. Just call me for help, and I’ll talk it out with you. 

Logan is on speedial, Logan, Logan can help- with shaking fingers, Virgil can just make out the emergency phone button on his cell to call Logan. 

The ringing of the phone helps station Virgil, stations him better than the pain in his hands. It picks up on the fifth ring. 

“Hello, Doctor Logan Berry speaking.” 

“Logan,” Virgil’s voice sounds so fucking raspy and teary, sounds so horrendously uncertain, “You- you said to call, and- if you’re busy just hang up, it’s fine you don’t have to worry, actually this was a bad idea, I’m going to hang up-” 

“You will do no such thing, Virgil. Stay on the line with me. Scale of one to ten, how bad?” 

“I- uh, I dunno, probably like- like a seven? I messed everything up, Lo, I- fuck, I can’t do anything right-” 

“Well, that is one foul-tempered lie. Let’s calm down first, yes, and then you’ll tell me all about what happened. I’m sure it’s better than it seems,” Janus’s voice, even hindered through the phone, forces Virgil to relax. He had no idea that Janus could hear, but apparently they’re together. His mind recalls lamely that tonight is when they get together to go over payments and make sure everything is in order. A part of him is glad that Janus can hear; He’s like a hypnotist with his voice, a snake. Virgil nods, then another wave of idiocy flows through him because it’s over the phone. 

“Okay, Virgil, now exhale through your mouth. I want to hear it through the telephone,” Logan instructs, no nonsense. 

Virgil shakily breathes out. 

“Good. Now close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose. I’m going to count to four, alright?” 

“O-okay,” Virgil complies, breathing it in. Janus counts him off rhythmically over the phone: Logan’s on the right and Janus on the left, and the result is relaxing. 

“Hold your breath now for seven seconds. I’ll count for you once more.” Janus-

“Exhale again, for a total of eight seconds. Here we go-” Logan- 

“Exceptional work, darling. You’re doing so well. Let’s repeat the process a few more times, how does that sound?” Janus-

Holy hell, do they make a good team. 

And just like that, Virgil feels better. His chest eases, his mind soothes, and he’s no longer shaking. 

“Thank you, both of you. That was- it was really fucking helpful. I don’t know what would happen if I was here alone,” 

“If you don’t mind me asking… where is here?” Logan asks, dry and with no sense of privacy whatsoever. 

“I’m at a bar with Roman. He- he invited me, because he wanted backup, and I made a total fool of myself. I got all aggressive on this guy who did nothing wrong,” 

“Aha, jealous?” There’s a sound of Janus wrestling the phone from Logan, much to his displeasure, “Just finish this weeks, Berry-” is heard through the phone. 

“Maybe… hey, wait a second! Who told you-” 

“I’m not blind, Virgil. Nor stupid. Don’t even try that on me. It might work on the nerd, and even Remus and Patton, but unlike them, I’m not clueless,” 

Virgil pouts, grunting softly. Is he really that obvious? 

“Whatever! And now… I’ve got no chance with him. I don’t know why I even came here, anyone could see that it was a stupid idea.” 

“No- well, yes, this was very stupid and most likely going to end in strife, but you still certainly have a chance! Remember, this is Roman we’re talking about: he’s a carousel when it comes to men, always changing.” 

“That’s part of the issue, Jan- where am I? I’ll be left behind, and have to watch as he finds a another and another and another-” 

“You’re starting to panic again, Virgil. Calm yourself. And I know that won’t happen.” 

“How?”

“You’re more perceptive, attentive, and caring than any of those guys will ever be. Roman would be even more of an idiot than either of us could possibly imagine if he were to let you go. Again, I am not blind: I see how good you are with the patients. You are careful and thoughtful. Despite how you might see yourself, Virgil, you are a good person. A wonderful person, who makes mistakes, but always fixes them. You do not leave them behind you. You feel empathy, and guilt, two very humane things, and you remedy your problems. That’s what happened with me, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah… I guess, I guess you’re right,” Virgil’s blushing again. It’s true, that he doesn't like to leave things unsaid or unfinished: it makes him terribly worried, and the only solution he’s found is confronting them head on. Janus and Virgil had met long ago, when they were both younger: Janus had just started medical practices, and done work for Virgil. It ultimately failed and hurt Virgil more, which sparked deep hatred on Virgil’s side and a continued regret on Janus’s. They eventually reconciled, reuniting later when Virgil started out as a nurse, and everything had become much better. 

“Now, get back out there, darling. You’ll do great.” 

“...Thanks, Janus,” 

“Anytime,” and with that, Janus hangs up the phone to return to Logan. Virgil sighs to himself, and exits the stall: in the mirror, he sees his makeup all ruined. He washes it off, cleans his hoodie (which is relatively drier now) and ends up taking off the damp shirt as well. Thank goodness he’s wearing an undershirt: walking out topless seems hellish, and this only slightly better. 

It’s been a while since Virgil has gone anywhere without his hoodie on or makeup. He barely recognizes himself, and he sees this face every morning. But… it’ll be what it’ll be. Checking his phone, Virgil realizes that he’s been in the bathroom for… nearly two hours? 

Oh my god, I hope Roman hasn’t left yet-  Virgil flies out of the bathroom, holding his damp dress shirt and beloved hoodie in one crooked arm. Scanning the room, he notices Roman sitting at one of the small square tables watching some guy sing “Mad World” somewhat decently. Virgil sighs in relief, and walks over and sits right in front of him. 

“Princey, thank god you’re still here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Virgil says, his voice softer than usual from all the crying. Roman looks at him, a smile curving on his features. 

“Hello there, you’re- you’re pretty,” Roman slurs slightly mid sentence, and Virgil gapes. Roman is drunk. Very drunk. So drunk, that he doesn’t recognize Virgil without his makeup and hoodie. While Virgil stares openmouthed, Roman reaches over and squeezes his bicep. “Ooh, you’re so strong too! Pretty face, and a hot body-” 

“Roman, you seriously don’t recognize me? Honest to god?” Virgil insists. Roman blinks slowly, but there’s no spark. Roman seriously has no idea, Virgil’s a stranger. 

He should probably bring him home. 

Or… he can start over. Roman won’t remember it anyway: this might be his only chance. 

“I think I’d remember such a handsome prince” Roman huffs. Virgil, unsurprisingly, blushes. 

“That’s very kind of you. You don’t look half bad yourself,” Virgil purrs. 

“Oh- you’re a flirt too! I like you,” Roman smiles widely, “Do you want to get another drink?” 

“I think you’ve had enough… do you want to go up and sing instead?” Virgil suggests, scooching closer to Roman. Touching his clothed shoulder, he feels how warm Roman is. Roman snuggles up to Virgil just a tad- he’s over affectionate, and with no filter, and no sense. It’s adorable, and Virgil is glad he got here when he did, because who knows who would take advantage of this cuddly child-like man? 

Now he understands why Roman needs a drinking buddy. 

“I love singing, I’m very good at it. I like Disney too. Do you like Disney?” 

“Yes, I like Disney,” Virgil snorts. They’ve had this debate over and over: the both of them like the franchise, though Virgil sees the darker bits that Roman tends to ignore. 

“You wanna- you wanna sing Love is an Open Door with me? I like that song, it’s a good song-” Roman rambles, looking excited. Virgil hates public speaking, let alone public speaking, but… he doesn’t know anyone here, what’s the issue? 

“That sounds good. Let’s go sign up, shall we?” Virgil suggests, Roman excitedly clinging to Virgil’s arm. 

“You’re so cold, it’s so nice,” Roman murmurs, rubbing his face on Virgil’s bare shoulder. Virgil can’t help but smile: his heart is beating fast, but in a fantastic way. Vincent doubletakes as they make it to the bar. 

“Hey you two- heading home? Ro looks pretty slammed…” 

“I’ll take him home in a bit. He wants to do one more song,” Virgil explains. Roman giggles, and Virgil’s heart does another flip. His smile widens. 

“Ah, sorry folks- Roman can’t do another one. He’s already exhausted the limit of five: you should have heard him sing some of those. An undercover celebrity, he is,” Vincent reaches over and mussies Roman’s hair, to which Virgil slaps his hand away. 

“Princey, did you hear? You can’t sing another one,” Virgil tells him, his voice still soft.

“Aww, really? I wanna- I wanna sing some ‘ore,” Roman pouts, his lower lips trembling. Virgil kisses his cheek, just a peck really, that’s all he can manage without exploding. Roman turns on a dime, sadness morphing to elation all at once. He leans in for another, to which Virgil declines, pushing him away with a palm. 

“Hey, how about I sing a song for you, huh? How does that sound?” Virgil asks, nervous beyond anything at singing in front of all these people, but Roman seems so ecstatic at the thought that Virgil knows he’ll be going through with it. 

“You sing? But you just-” gawks Vincent. Virgil glares at him. 

“Don’t act so surprised. And yes, I do. Just didn’t feel like saying it. Totally. When do I go up?” 

“After this guy,” Vincent points at the person going on stage, and Virgil steels himself for this experience. It’s okay, you’re the only one who’ll remember. It’ll be fine. Virgil starts walking closer to the stage, Roman hanging on him still. “Hey, dude, are you going to tell me what you’re singing? I’ll set it up for you,” 

“I got it. We’re good, right Princey?” 

“I’m so good, I’m the best, you’re so nice, gonna sing a song for me-” Roman rambles. Virgil shakes his head good-humoredly, adoring this side of him. Not suave or fanciful at all: only cute. They come to a table right by the stage, miraculously empty and clean. 

“Okay, Ro, you wanna sit here and watch?” Roman smiles, nodding quickly, and plops down in one of the chairs. Virgil goes beside him, fanning his confidence by reaching for his large hand. Just like in the car, Roman takes it and squeezes. 

“I’m so moved, you’re going to sing something for me! So romantic!” Roman gushes. Virgil blushes, rubbing his thumb on Roman’s sun-kissed hand. 

“I’ll sing it just for you: you know, I really don’t like public speaking. Or any of this stuff… but you’re not going to remember me, so I don’t think it’ll matter. I really really like you, Roman. I’ve known you for a while, so it wasn’t all at once, but you tease me with all of your flirty winks and tell me about how much you get around and today, calling me pretty- you’re destroying me, and you don’t even notice. You never do, and- Janus said that I’d be good for you. Grounding. A good boyfriend. I don’t know what he sees in me, but clearly you don’t see that. You like- you like grand gestures, romance, and flirting… I can’t do any of that. Except for today, when I’m not nervous anymore, because you’re never going to remember this whole thing. It’ll just be for me. Just for me to remember, for you to enjoy now. You’ll never know how much I love you anyway, so it’s just for me. Just for poor heartsick Virgil,” Virgil tells him, under the lights and despite the singing in the background. Roman blinks a few times, not understanding. 

“I- uhm… I don’t understand, whadda ya mean?” Roman squints at him. Virgil sighs, presses their foreheads together and gets up. 

“Doesn’t matter. I only want to say… whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s my turn to go,” and Virgil pulls away, waving slightly to the confused man, and hunches his shoulders to make him look small as he walks to the center of the stage. Scrolling through the music (it operates sort of like a karaoke machine), Virgil selects a song he knows. 

Virgil doesn’t particularly like his singing voice: his mother loves it, would sing along with him during Nightmare Before Christmas, and told him it was very nice. It’s kind of low, gentle, and the words flow into the next. 

“The dawn is breaking, a light shining through… you’re barely waking, and I’m tangled up in you,” Virgil sings quietly. It’s awkward, and he can’t look out into the audience at all, and he hears them ignore him. He takes a deep breath, and continues. “I’m open, you’re closed. Where I follow, you’ll go. I worry I won’t see your face light up again,” 

People are starting to notice Virgil, as his voice rises, and it’s frightening but also exhilarating. He refuses to make eye-contact with them, unlike Roman who always does, and speaking of him- it’s very clear that Roman’s watching, enraptured. Virgil can practically feel it. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme- Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find you and I, collide,” Someone in the crowd whistles, causing Virgil to struggle a bit, but he picks it up right after. He’s imagining that it’s only him and Missy and- Roman. Virgil glances up at Roman barely: he’s awestruck, and it fills Virgil’s heart with glee. 

“I’m quiet you know.You make a first impression. But I’ve found I’m scared to know you’re always on my mind,” Virgil messes up the lyrics a bit, but no one notices at all. They’re cheering him on, listening attentively- it helps him go on, return his gaze to the floor. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine, out of the back you fall in time, somehow find, you and I- collide,” Virgil’s voice is still quiet: even as his confidence rises, he can’t seem to raise it at all. 

“Don’t stop here. I’ve lost my place. I’m close behind,” Virgil used to sing this song with his parents, when he was young: his mother and father would sing and dance with him. It has sentimental value, it reminds him of childhood and pain and love and survival. They used to sing it to him, comforting him with the words. He knows every one. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills your mind, you finally find that you and I collide. Finally find that you and I collide. You finally find you and I collide,” the music plays for a while longer, with Virgil humming along rhythmically. When it finally fades out, Virgil scurries off the stage to thunderous applause. It is way too much attention, all at once. On his way, he grabs Roman’s sleeve, dragging him out as people fawn. As they rapidly exit, Vincent calls out from the bar. 

“Hey, grump- I don’t sing, my ass! You sing gorgeous! Come back anytime, with or without Roman!” Virgil glares at him, and then he’s out into the parking lot. 

“Phew- that was- oh my god, that was exhilarating. Roman? What did… what did you mmfp-” Virgil was smiling until he was cut off by Roman’s lips on his. Virgil moans into it: it’s more decadent than he could have ever imagined. Roman’s lips are deceptively soft and taste like strawberries. He finally moves back for air, and Virgil leans against the car, holding his mouth. Did… did that just happen? It takes a second to register that a) Roman kissed him, and b) that it doesn’t matter because he’s not in his right mind. It’s worth nothing beyond right now… but it means so so much. Virgil will remember this for the rest of his godforsaken life. 

“Ro-Roman, what was that for?” Virgil murmurs, touching his lips addictively. 

“You’re the kindest guy I’ve ever met. God, I want to take you home. Handsome, and sweet, and caring and a voice of an angel. I wish I met you forever ago,” Roman says, approaching closer to Virgil until he’s pressed up against the car and can feel Roman’s warmth, “Fuck… I don’t even know your name, but you’re… you’re magic,” 

“You’re making me seem better than I am, really,” Virgil flushes, feeling all sorts of fuzzy feelings. Roman chuckles, coming in closer to lean his head on Virgil’s shoulders. 

“I don’t… I don’t think I am, beautiful… I just- I don’t want to go home alone tonight. I’m so freaking lonely, all the goddamn time. So lonely… it’s only me, and no one really cares, when it comes down to it,” Roman sighs, on the verge of tears. Virgil is dumbfounded: who would have thought? Roman, the Prince of Theatre, who sings songs to children and flirts easily, and never is by himself because he’s a magnet for conversation… is lonely. 

“Maybe we can be lonely together,” Virgil whispers aloud, meaning it to be internal but slipping out anyway. 

“Can… can we?” Roman pleads, “Please?” Virgil exhales: he’s so cute. Remember though- he’s not going to recall any of this. It hurts, all of a sudden, that Virgil is at once Roman’s world and at the same time an illusion. 

“Alright, alright. We’ll see,” Virgil smiles at him. Roman leans down for another kiss, and now Virgil lets him. What’s the harm? I’m the only one who will hurt. I can take it. “I should take you home now, huh? You can’t drive, you’re drunk,” 

“Pfft- I am not-” 

“You are,” Virgil rolls his eyes, unlocking his car, “Now get in.” Roman shuffles his feet around. Virgil glares. 

“In the car, Princey, you have to go home now,” he demands. Roman frowns, looks away stubbornly. And, just like a puppy, he’s adorable but persistent as all hell. Roman murmurs something under his breath, inaudible. Glancing at him kinder, Virgil asks him to speak up. 

“I don’t wanna go home, I wanna stay with you,” Roman mumbles, slightly louder. And, Virgil is struck right in the heart. My god, is it even legal to be that cute? Virgil sighs: he should bring Roman to his house, that’s what he had asked before he was intoxicated, and he definitely can’t take advantage of him, but… those eyes are begging for him to stay with him. He can’t refuse. 

“Okay, okay, you win. It’s going to be impossible to explain this to you in the morning, but whatever! I’ll drive you to my house,” Virgil agrees, and the look of pure elation on Roman’s face is more than reward enough. Though Virgil has to help Roman’s wobby body into the passenger seat and buckle him up, he can’t stop smiling. 

Even as he starts the car to drive it home. 

Even as Roman says he’s going to be sick. 

Even as he has to rush Roman upstairs to his apartment before he pukes all over the place, Virgil is happy. 

Roman hugs Virgil’s middle after he cleans him up. Missy and Roman get along swimmingly, Virgil offering to let him hold her, and Roman enraptured by her. He’s enthralled by Virgil lending him a toothbrush, seemingly blessed by the offering of a piece of toast to calm his stomach at the small kitchen bar. Roman stares at it, sitting on one of the stools. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” he wonders. Virgil frowns. Are people usually unkind to you? 

“This is normal, Princey. People are supposed to look out for one another,” 

“Oh. Yeah,” Roman says to himself. Virgil can’t hold back from reaching over and kissing his forehead. 

“Anytime you need, I’ll be nice to you. I don’t mean to be so prickly: it’s a defense mechanism. You only have to tell me you’d like some care, and I’ll give you everything,” Virgil tells him. This charming man, he hiccups and his eyes water as he blubbers. Virgil is good with a lot of things: crying crushes are not one of them. “Hey, no crying, don’t cry! Let’s go to bed, huh? Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn’t it?” 

Roman makes a pitiful little nod, and Virgil leads him to the bedroom. There’s only one… so either they share, or Virgil’s going to the couch. So, he tucks Roman into the warm black duvet and brushes his forehead as a way of good night. As he goes to leave, Roman grabs onto his arm. 

“Stay with me? Please?”

“Ro, I don’t- I don’t think this is a good idea, buddy. No, it’s really not a good idea,” his heartbeat is picking up again, and Virgil bites his lip nervously. Roman ignores it, pulls his hand to kiss it. 

“Stay with me, princess,” he purrs. Are you trying to kill me? Roman’s too attractive, too flirtatious. And Virgil’s too head over heels to say no. And that’s how he finds himself sharing his bed with Roman King. 

Who fell asleep almost immediately, and snuggled up right into Virgil’s side. So close, that there is a permanent blush on Virgil’s face and his breath on his neck. Okay, this is not going to work. I’m never going to get to sleep if this goes on. Fuck. 

Virgil shuffles away, attempting to get out of bed and go sleep on the couch, but Roman slings and arm over him and growls “Stay”. 

Well, can’t argue with that, now can I? 

~~~~~~

When morning filters through the window, Roman blinks awake. Jiminy Cricket, does his head hurt. Ugh, what happened last night? This isn’t his bed: it’s not colourful at all, all blacks and purples. For goodness sakes, the curtains that are blocking most of the sun have spiders on it. Roman rubs his eyes: did he go home with someone? He must’ve. But who? Roman can’t really recall: he doesn’t remember talking to anyone. After Virgil ran out to the bathroom, Roman just wanted to drink and be alone. Anyone who approached him was turned away instantly by one of his cold stares. 

He couldn’t help but feel as though it was sort of his fault: he said he’d be with him. That Roman would leave Virgil alone. And yet… he was in the bathroom for two hours, and not once did Roman gather the courage to go and check on him. And then what? Then he went to some strangers home and left Virgil? 

What kind of asshole would do that to someone? Virgil, despite how he acts, is amazingly perceptive. He can tell when something is wrong, it’s why he’s so good as a nurse… he’s just genuinely a good person. And Roman left him? 

He can’t imagine he’d do that to the emo, even drunk. He wouldn’t be able to forget Virgil, would he? 

No, he really has no clue. 

Think, Roman, think- he presses his hands to his pounding head, as if it would squeeze out a memory. All that happens is scraps of a song. Oh great, not only do I have no idea where I am but now there’s a song stuck in my head. Wonderful. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme-” he murmurs under his breath. Then an image follows right after: a man, holding onto the microphone at the bar, singing the words so soft, so sweetly. It makes his heart pang, it’s so lovely. Is that the guy I went home with? Roman thinks to himself. He focuses harder on the memory. The man, he looks up shyly, nervously, and meets eyes with Roman. 

God, he’s fucking beautiful. Love at first sight? Maybe not, but whatever this is, it’s as close to that as it could possibly be. It makes Roman feel all warm and bubbly inside. He bites his lip and looks at the ceiling of this stranger’s bed. Things come back in bits and pieces all out of order; kissing that man by a car, his car- that man laughing at him as he gawks at his, what is that, a spider?- the man sitting at a table in the bar right next to him, letting him nuzzle his shoulder (embarrassing, it makes Roman blush he was so mushy)- a kiss to his forehead to calm him, wiping away drunken tears ever so gently. His hands felt baby-soft, despite the obvious muscular frame he sported. 

Who is he…? 

“I’ll sing it just for you: you know, I really don’t like public speaking…” in his mind, this man’s voice follows: it’s soft, muted a touch. Focus now, Roman, you’ve almost got it- 

“You’re not going to remember me, so I don’t think it’ll matter…” Of course it matters! I’m not a blackout drunk! Roman wants to scream. 

“I really really like you, Roman,” his voice, saying such kind words, is like what he’d imagine an angel would sound like. Or some sweet interaction that only comes between A-List celebrities in a scripted movie. 

“I’ve known you for a while…”  Okay, finally, getting somewhere. He knows him? Does he do tech at the theatre or something? It’s a possibility. 

“You’re destroying me, and you don’t even notice…” Well, that’s harsh. Kind makes him feel guilty: this gorgeous meal of a man was lusting over him, and he didn’t even notice? What kind of idiot- 

“Janus said that I’d be good for you. Grounding. A good boyfriend…” So he knows the snakey doctor. That can either be very good or very bad: is this fellow a sleazeball? No, Roman assures himself blushing heavily, He’s too sweet to do that. Too kind and loving. Did you see him sing that song? Just for you too- and he looked so nervous! Precious!! 

“I don’t know what he sees in me, but clearly you don’t see that…” Roman wants to pull his hair out. Did Roman say or do something wrong? Did he ruin his chances with this Adonis, because if he did, he’ll be furious. 

“You like grand gestures, romance, and flirting… I can’t do any of that,” I don’t care! I don’t care about any of that! I just want someone to hold my hand and not treat me like shit! Just a sweet cute guy! 

“I’m not nervous anymore, because you’re never going to remember this whole thing,” Ah, sorry to break it to you, but hey, I’m remembering! And I’m going to track you down! 

“You’ll never know how much I love you anyway, so it’s just for me…” he sounds melancholy, so very sad, and Roman wants to hold him. Hold him and kiss the top of his head and make him feel better. This person, he doesn’t deserve to be ignored. Why was Roman ever- 

“Just for poor heartsick Virgil,” Roman’s mouth runs dry. Virgil? Virgil. He- the man he went with- Virgil. Virgil was singing to him, with that angelic voice, Virgil drove him to his house because he didn’t want to leave him alone and every other little wonderful thing, the forehead kisses and the smiles and the hands- oh my stars, I am an imbecile. 

How didn’t he notice? How Virgil would bite back at him whenever he flirted with him teasingly, how Virgil wilted whenever Roman talked about his relationships, how careful and thoughtful he was with every move, hell, he even agreed to go out to the bar with him to find some other guy because he was worried for Roman’s safety. 

How was I so blind that I missed the perfect man right in front of my eyes? 

And this… this must be Virgil’s house. It’s… very Virgil. Is that a Nightmare Before Christmas poster? Yes, it is- how wonderful. How him. 

How didn’t Roman notice? It’s that classic blunder, unseeing of the person right in front of him. How did he not see how romantic Virgil is? Little gestures, smart moves, kindness. Thoughtful. He had said that he wasn’t a romantic, but by Jove- he’s sweet. His mind can’t stop repeating Virgil’s soft singing and his gentleness. God, it’s so beautiful it’s painful. He should tell him to go without makeup more often. And a shirt. Yes, without a shirt sounds good. Undercover buff, much?

His mind swirls with the knowledge of Virgil. 

Oh shit- how is he going to face Virgil now? He’s in his house, he’s most likely in the living room: should he just pretend like he doesn’t remember? 

Roman’s a good actor, he could pull it off: but Virgil would still be wanting and lonesome. And Roman would know, and that hurts. He won’t do that to him, not anymore. 

He should just come out, say that he remembers and... ask him out on a date. A proper one. They both have the day off today, it could be now! 

They’d do Virgil things, things that make the emo happy, maybe a zoo or watch movies or coffee shops or whatever. And... Roman will hold his hand, hold him, and hold him and hold him. Yes, yes, this is good. 

Roman wishes he had more time to plan. Time to get flowers, or chocolates or anything, really. Wait, you don’t even know if he’ll say yes! Maybe he’s so embarrassed by the whole interaction that- 

Wait. 

Is that pancakes? 

Roman sniffs at the air: yes, it is. Blueberry ones, at that. And coffee. His stomach rumbles, and hunger is enough to spur him out of bed. His legs are wobbly, and his head is swimming, but he makes it out of the room eventually. 

“Oh hey, Princey, finally decide to wake from your endless slumber, huh?” Virgil teases. His makeup has returned, as usual. He’s wearing another hoodie, a black one, and it’s hanging off his shoulders as he flips pancakes. Roman’s mouth runs dry. “Also, umm, sorry about not taking you to your apartment. I didn’t want to leave you alone.” 

“Oh... it’s fine,” Roman sounds odd, even to himself, and Virgil gives him a skeptical look. “Heh, anyone who makes me good morning pancakes is alright in my book!” 

Virgil snorts, and pushes a plate over the kitchen bar for Roman to sit and eat. 

“How’s your head? What do you- you know, never mind,” Virgil ducks his head into the fridge to receive some maple syrup, “You like it warmed?” 

“Uh... if it isn’t an issue,” Virgil casts another weird look to Roman: is he being too nice? Roman can’t help it, how could he be rude? He puts his syrup in the microwave, with the long pale fingers. 

 “I uh- Virgil,” Roman starts, more nervous than anything, “Oh fuck, this is hard but- I uh-” 

“You’re making me worried, Princey, spit it out or shut up and eat my food,” Virgil glares. Roman gulps. It’s like a bandaid, rip it off, come on, just spit it out- 

“I REMEMBER! I remember everything, I always do after I’m drunk, it’s why I get a buddy, because I always remember in the morning and I hate what I’m like when I’m intoxicated, because I always remember, I think I’ve said that a few times- uh, Virgil, are you okay?” Roman finally looks up at Virgil- or rather down, as the man has crumpled to the floor in a heap. Has he fainted? Roman gets up and squats next to him. 

“Virgil?” he whispers into his ear, poking at him. Virgil jolts up, narrowly missing a collision with Roman’s head as he sits up straight. He groans, and puts his head in his hands to try and hide his full-faced blush. 

“Fuck, I’m such an idiot, oh my god, I’ve made a total fool of myself- oh god, please just leave me alone to die, Roman, just go,” he yells. Roman chuckles, and peels Virgil’s hands from his face. He seems about to cry, moisture glistening at his eyes. Roman’s heart can’t take it: he thinks he looks foolish? No, never. 

Roman kisses the corners of his eyes. 

“You’re not an idiot, you’re most certainly not a fool. I’m sorry I didn’t notice you before at the office. I’m the only idiot between the two of us, because I didn’t see how wonderful you were until you had to be blatant about it. I’m so very sorry, and in your debt. I feel silly to even try and ask, but would you… perchance, want a real date? One where I’m not flirting with other people- only with you, you Incredible Sulk,” Roman consoles Virgil pulling him into an embrace. 

“Really?” Virgil asks. 

“Honestly,” 

“Then yeah, yeah, that sounds okay. I uh… I don’t do a whole lot so-” Roman cuts Virgil off by pressing his finger to his lips. Virgil raises his eyebrows. 

“How’s right this second sound?”

“Yeah- uhm, that works for me-”

“Fantastic! And I believe your pancakes are burning,” Roman notes, laughing as Virgil shoots up cursing colourfully as he discards a very black pancake. Even as the man squawks and yells and forces Roman back into his seat, he can’t help but feel fulfilled. After the pancake fiasco is remedied, Virgil breathes a sigh of relief and smiles at Roman. 

“Sorry about that, Princey,” 

“Hey, it’s no problem for me! Kind of entertaining, actually,” Roman snickers, earning him a slap upside the head. And then, just to push Virgil’s buttons, he snakes his hand through his dark locks and kisses him deeply over the counter. It’s a knee-shaking kiss, a heart-stopper, a signature Roman smooch. One he should’ve given Virgil last night, but was too drunk to make happen. It seems like Virgil likes it too, if the noises are any indication. Virgil is the first to pull back for air, and presses his chest, gasping. 

“Oh my goodness, was that too much? Are you okay, Virgil?” Roman frets. Virgil, he recalls, has some sort of horrible cocktail of medical issues. Most he’s grown out of, but the effects still linger. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s cool. Hah, my heart’s still beating. It’s stopped once before, and I have a defibrillator in my room but- I’m okay. I guess that just means I’m fragile, right? Gotta be careful with my heart, both ways, alright?” A still beating heart. How romantic, how delightful. 

“Now you must stay with me, so I can restart your heart whenever it’s required!” Roman announces. Virgil rolls his eyes and scoffs, despite his small smile, then returns to finishing off the end of his pancake batter. Roman pokes his bicep, his deceptively strong bicep, to pester him into an answer. Virgil catches it, squeezes. 

“Hey! My heart’s still beating, you’re going to have to try harder,” he teases. It has to be the most lovely seductive challenge he’s ever been issued. And you said you weren’t a romantic. 

His heart still beats, and it beats just as hard for Roman as the other way around. 

How positively lovely. 

~~~~

And from that day on, the entire pediatric office would all go out once a month to a particular bar’s karaoke night, and Roman and Virgil would sing many songs but always one. They always sang one at the end, and it was so beautiful that people cry every time. It’s longing and love and acceptance. 

They like to hold hands while they do it, perhaps to show off their relationship… or maybe just the matching rings that adorn their fingers. 

~~~~~

The End! Thanks for reading! 

If you enjoyed, please reblog- it truly means the world. 

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[sometimes-love-is-enough]

I MEAN IT GAVE ME CHILLS IN A GOOD WAY. and also it would be hilarious to write imo; just these 6 dudes that all look the same and just made up A Guy.

“Thomas,” Roman announces quite suddenly, with a triumphant gesture that manages to inadvertently sweep half of the script drafts off the couch in the process.

“I still can not believe we’re doing this,” Virgil says.

“Oh, you’d better believe it, Way Down Gay-destown, ‘cause I just got the perfect name for him. Thomas. That’s his name – Thomas Sanders.” Roman pauses, and wiggles his fingers a bit. “Thoughts?”

Remus perks up. “Oh, our fictional character has thots now?”

“Crawling all over him like weevils,” Virgil nods.

“I thought we were calling ourselves ‘Sides’,” says Janus.  

“Guys, please,” Roman begs.

“Thomas sounds good to me,” is Patton’s opinion. “It’s nice and friendly, and also it has two syllables, like the rest of us! It kind of fits in like that.”

“It is a surprisingly apt name, especially when you take into consideration that Roman most likely did not know of the linguistic root when picking it,” Logan muses.

Remus waves a hand lazily from where he’s draped backwards over the couch, writing Transformers inflation porn on the notes app of his shitty phone. “Uh, noparoni, falsehood, all that jazz. I was watching. He went on babynames dot com and everything for this.”

“...What he said, yeah.”

“Ah, yes, babynames dot com, the internet’s premier and leading source for all accurate name derivations,” comes the dry response.

“Thomas means twin,” Roman says. “It means twin, and it’s funny because we all look identical! It’s like another layer of meaning! A fun little injoke, just for us.”

“Yes,” says Virgil, “you’re right. We need many, many deep layers of meaning and in-jokes woven into the shared identity we’re crafting as part of Roman and Remus’s wild, spur-of-the-moment internet scam.”

“How dare you,” Roman objects loudly, flailing so suddenly that he nearly falls off the couch. “This is polar opposite of a scam, we’re – we are merely taking advantage of our uncanny shared appearance to... share joy amongst the humble Youtube vlogging community! And perhaps show off. Just a little. But to say that it’s a scam – ”

“No, this is definitely a scam,” Janus says. “I mean, look at us. We’re inventing an entire person for internet clout.”

Patton looks like he’s having second thoughts about this whole thing. “I’m having second thoughts,” he says. “Like, on an ethical, moral sort of level, is any of this... really a good idea?”

“People invent other people for shittier reasons all the time, I think we’re fine,” Virgil says. “I mean, look at internet catfishes. Or every male fiction writer with a very obvious and creepy fetish. Or J.K. Rowling.”

“J.K. Rowling doesn’t exist?” Janus says. “Excellent. We won, boys.”

Roman grabs a pen and scribbles it into the notebook, next to a hasty little stickman doodle of an average-looking guy and a list of qualities and attributes and skills. “Well, all that aside, nobody seems to have an objection to this, so Thomas it is! Thomas Sanders. Thomas I’ve-Just-Realized-He-Needs-A-Middle-Name Sanders.”

“Thomas F Sanders,” Remus suggests.

“The F stands for ‘Fucking’, doesn’t it,” sighs Patton.

“Well, yeah.”

“Way to go for the low-hanging fruit, dude,” Virgil says. “Okay, put a pin in the middle name for now. Our collective brainchild has a name, so... that’s something. I guess.” He grabs the notebook from Roman and squints down at the short-ish list they have so far. “Any more character traits we wanna give this guy?”

“Intense love of Disney films,” Roman says.

“We’ve already got that; you suggested it about five times already.”

“Maybe he can play the ukulele!” Patton suggests.

Virgil nods, and starts to write it down before stopping abruptly. “Wait. Can any of us play the ukulele?”

Silence.

“He can only have traits that we already have,” Virgil reminds them. “That’s the whole idea. We’re derivatives of him.”

“Well, I’ll work on the ukulele thing,” Roman says decisively. “Put it down anyway. Anyone else?”

“He can’t cook to save his life,” Janus says.

“Catholic guilt,” Logan provides, with a little wince and a slight adjustment of his glasses. “It provides a good base for many of the plotlines we wish to include in this, I believe.”

“Give him a huge dick,” Remus says.

“Remus,” Roman growls.

“Just a humungous badonker of a penis. He beats his meat and the entire earth rumbles.”

“Remus,” Patton groans.

Remus grins. "He’s packing some real chunky meat down there. As in, his drill is a five star excavator. A proper manmade wonder. It's the kind of meal you get a prize for finishing. A bridge between two warring nations. And the girth! God had to resize the Earth so the radii wouldn't match. You can use his cast iron pelvic greatsword as a radiation shield in Chernobyl. His – "

“Remus, weren’t you listening? We’re only giving him traits that we already have,” Virgil says, looking Remus dead in the eyes. “I’m not going to let you misrepresent yourself like this.”

The room almost immediately erupts into a loud chorus of enthusiastic oohs. Quite a few people throw things at Virgil, who lets out a snort of amusement and ducks to avoid getting nailed in the eye by a stray television remote control. Remus just cackles.

“We’re going to have to tone back the dick jokes, probably,” says Janus with some regret, once everybody calms down a bit. “Don’t want to get demonetized within the first few weeks.”

“Well, Remus already broke the Youtube demonetization speedrun last week, so at least we know what not to do,” Patton says absently. “The real question is, though – who’s going to actually play this Thomas person?

“Don’t look at me,” says Janus. “I’m looking forward to getting the play the villain for once.”

Patton points at him, mock-glaring. “Hey, don’t think you’re missing out on a redemption arc just because you like the evil aesthetic!”

Janus lets out a little affronted hissing noise at that, but doesn’t actually object.

“Well, I’m not shaving my moustache for any of you fuckers, no matter how much internet clout we’re gonna get for it,” Remus declares.

A quick, meaningful glance is exchanged between the four remaining people in the room.  

“Leave me out of it,” Virgil decides.

“I don’t really mind, either way,” Patton says.

“In that case, I shall arm-wrestle you for the honor of portraying our glorious, talented and entirely fictional centre of being on our upcoming Grammy-award-winning sixty-part webseries,” Roman declares, flexing dramatically.

“Which may or may not be a scam,” Logan says.

“...Look, are we doing this or what?”

“Absolutely.” Logan places down his book, and shrugs off his jacket. “I should warn you, however – I am what I believe is colloquially referred to as ‘absolutely fucking ripped’.” He breaks out into a surprisingly wicked smile. “Roman, let me be clear. I am going to be the one to portray Thomas Fucking Sanders, our beloved nonexistent media superstar culmination-of-our-collective-selves. And I am about to flat-out destroy you. Let’s go.”

There’s a beat of silence as everybody stares at Logan. The stares range from impressed to terrified to obviously horny. All of these are equally valid emotions to be feeling, because Logan is ripped, and somehow none of them have ever realized this before.

“Well, before we do that, give me five minutes to make popcorn,” says Janus. “Because I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”

[dcforts]

[monday 7: thunderstorm]

Phone battery: 96%

One moment they are speeding up on the empty road with the windows rolled down and the sun shining on the side mirrors and the next is as if someone threw a blanket over the sky. In a blink of an eye, the clouds gather above them and they find themselves in the middle of a downpour.

“What the fuck?” says Dean, pushing the brakes and activating the windshield wipers.

“Something is wrong” is Castiel’s helpful contribution from the passenger seat.

“Yeah, no shit.”

The rain gets havier by the second, raindrops hit the roof with such violence that it’s like they are fired from a machine gun. Even after turning on the headlights they can barely see what’s ahead of them beyond the hood of the Impala. The sky lights up and then a thunder rumbles so loud that even Castiel flinches.

“We should stop.”

“You think it’s a spell?”

“Whatever it is I don’t think it’s safe to go on.”

Dean sighs and signals that he’s pulling over on the right as if, even if there was someone behind them, they could see the indicators through the amount of water that paints everything grey.

He brings the car to a stop and fishes out his phone.

Phone battery: 91%

“Sam? Where are you?”

“Just out of the morgue. I think it’s a witch” he says, sounding slightly out of breath as he walks. “Hey, I thought you were coming to pick me up. What did the husband say?”

“Sam? Listen to me, is it raining where you are?”

“Raining? No. The sky couldn’t be clearer.”

“Fuck.”

“Dean, where are you?”

“I don’t know. Just outside of town, I think. But there’s a thunderstorm and we had to stop.”

“What? A thunderstorm? Is it rain what I’m hearing?”

“Yeah, so it’s either the son or the husband and they are onto us. Seems like they didn’t appreciate our little visit.”

“You’re saying they cursed you?”

“That’s what we think”.

“Shit. Alright, at least we have suspects and we know for sure that they’re using witchcrafts or something. Just, don’t do anything till I get back to you.”

“Alright.”

“Stay safe.”

“Yeah, you too.”

  Phone battery: 86%

The rain is torrential, incessant. There is so much of it that it’s like there’s a river flowing over the windshield.

It’s not the first time that Dean got caught in a thunderstorm while he was driving. It happened more than once when he was a kid and weather apps weren’t a thing yet. John would pull up at the nearest rest area and they would wait it out catching up on their sleep.

But this is different. The rain could go on forever if something happened to Sam or if he couldn’t find a way to reverse it. That’s what bothers him more than anything, what makes him bounce his legs and clench his jaw.

He’s gone over their last two hours again and again trying to understand when and how the culprit could have done this to them but he’s had little success so far.

They can’t listen to music because they can’t risk the car running out of battery. They can’t play on their phones or do researches on their own or they will drain out their means to communication with Sam. They have no books, no food, no water. Dean doesn’t want to think about that. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel but he gets through two and a half Metallica songs before Castiel’s intake of breath and quick look his way tells him that he’s sick of it.

He retreats his hands on his lap.

Dean knows that Castiel is bothered as much as he is by the fact that they’re trapped and unable to help, even if he’s not showing it at the moment. In fact, he looks like the picture of serenity.

“How in hell can you be so calm?”

“I’m trying to be patient. There’s little else we can do.”

Dean scoffs.

Castiel shoots a look his way, then asks conversationally: “How did it go in Missouri last week?” and in response to Dean’s confused staring he adds: “The case?”

Dean gets that he’s trying to distract him and he lets him. He shrugs “Same old. Apart from Sam spilling coke all over himself, that was fun. And I got Jack a new record for the bunker. You’ve seen it?”

“He only told me about it a hundred times.” says Castiel in a pained tone. “It was nice of you.”

“Nah. You gotta teach them young.”

“You think he could join us on our next hunt?”

“We’ll see.” says Dean making a face. “But hey, you on the other hand… are getting better at interrogations. Looked pretty convincing with the kid.”

Castiel smiles: “Thank you.”

“Or, well, at least until you left the room just so you could follow his dogs,” adds Dean, raising his eyebrows.

“You can understand a lot about the owners form their pets’ behaviour”.

“Yeah?” humours him Dean, “What did you uncover? Other than they should learn how to use a vacuum.”

Castiel ignores his mocking tone. “Nothing stood out to me. But looking back now, I should have known that witchcraft was involved. They had three black dogs and I saw figurines of frogs in the living room.”

“I thought that cats were the go-to pet for witches.”

“They are generally associated with witchcraft, yes. But witches can form deep connection with any animal. Dogs, especially, escort Hecate, the triform greek-roman Goddess of Witchcraft. And Hecate takes her name from Heqet, the Egyptian goddess, usually represented as a frog. In hindsight, it was pretty clear.”

“So do you think it’s the husband? I doubt a kid alone would be able to do all that.”

“Maybe. But he seemed sincerely aggrieved by his wife’s loss.”

Dean sighs. Without any possibility to do real work that’s as far as they can get. He squints trying to see something beyond the raindrops splattered windows.

“Maybe it’s not bad as it seems.” he tries. “It’s dangerous to drive but what if we walked?”

“The curse could be cast on the car alone but I wouldn’t -”

“I’m gonna try.” Dean cuts him off, but he gets as far as resting his hand on the handle that a lightning bolt strikes one of the trees lined up down the road. There’s a loud crack and a vamp of fire that lights it up from the inside. A part of the trunk explodes and pieces go flying all over the street.

Dean and Castiel look at each other with identical alarmed expressions.

“Yeah, better say in the car.” Dean says.

   Phone battery: 79%

“Let’s play a game.”

“Alright.”

“Okay. It’s a car game. Basically you say a sentence starting with ‘Fortunately’ and based on that I have to respond with a sentence starting with ‘Unfortunately’. Like, I say ‘Unfortunately, we got cursed.’ And you say ‘Fortunately…’?”

Castiel thinks about it, then says, “Fortunately, they didn’t want us dead, only permanently incapacitated.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Sure, that is reassuring. Alright. Um, unfortunately, I will eventually die of starvation.”

“Fortunately, we won’t have to wait that long cause Sam is working on it.”

“Yeah but unfortunately, he’s alone against the witch.”

“Fortunately, he is prepared and the witch is not too dangerous.”

“Unfortunately, he got to us.”

“Fortunately, as long as we stay in the car we are safe.”

“Unfortunately, we are trapped.”

“Fortunately, we are together.”

Dean had his mouth already opened, ready to fire his next sentence but his brain short circuits and he is stunned. He closes it again. He meets Castiel’s eyes and under his soft expression he recognizes a little smugness that comes from having silenced him. He really can’t think of anything to say.

Castiel bats his eyelashes feigning innocence. “Did I win?”

That shakes Dean up, who rolls his eyes and he is about to protest when something heavy and dark hits the window shield with a loud thump and has him almost jumping out of his skin.

“What the fuck was that?” he shouts. Instinctively one arm flies up to cover his face, his elbow out and the other reaches towards Castiel to grab a fistful of his sleeve.

“I think it was a bird,” is Castiel’s calm reply.

Dean lets him go quickly, adverting his eyes. He still feels his heart in his throat. He clears it. “Right.” Then after a moment “Don’t mention this to Sam.”

Castiel huffs a laugh.

Phone battery: 72%

And so they wait. The rain is heavy and unrelenting. Dean has cracked open his window to feel it on his fingertips and he has retreated his hand hissing for how violently it hit him. The wind picks up at intervals, it whistles around them, pushing through every draft it can find. Above them, clouds like cotton balls chase each other endlessly and lightning bolts draw threatening patterns in the distance.

Sam has texted and they know that everything is under control so Dean is feeling better now. Figuring they are going to be there a while, he has toed off his boots and climbed over on the backseat leaving Castiel plenty of space to stretch his legs, even if the guy in question has barely adjusted his position with his back to the door and lifted a knee on the seat.

Dean on the other hand, already sprawled on the backseat, has gradually slipped into a laying position. He is more or less relaxed, or at least, as relaxed as a person could be with hell going on right outside of their car but tucked in the quiet and safe space of their car, with the soothing sound of the rain on the roof.

They had worse - that’s a fact.

He lolls his head to the side to watch Castiel, who’s got his eyes fixed on a spot beyond his window.

“So, how’s a thunderstorm from up there?”

He says: “From heaven?”

“Yeah, no, from the sky? Never seen it, planes are not my thing, you know,” he says, shifting to settle on the side.

“It’s pretty,” he says after a long moment. His keeps his voice low and adds, “but here is better.”

Dean scoffs.

“I mean it. From here you can smell the wet grass, see the trees swinging, feel the raindrops hitting you,” his voice is deep and smooth and Dean’s traitorous eyelids flutter shut. “The view from the outside may be splendid” Castiel continues, “but here things happen to you, touch you, shape you. You are the view.”

Dean mumbles what he means to be a sound of agreement but it’s basically a long exhale.

He is drowsy. He is trying to tell himself that he cannot fall asleep but it’s becoming a little difficult as they lose track of the time.

Castiel turns to look at him.

“Dean?”

“Hm?”

“You can sleep if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Tell me more.”

“About what?”

“Anything. Just, no more gross facts about animals. I’ve had enough of those.”

  Phone battery: 60%

Dean jerks awake. Castiel is touching his shoulder. “Sam called,” he says.

Dean blinks a few times while the past hours come back to him. A thunder booming over his head reminds him pretty quickly. So he did fall asleep in the end. And it wasn’t at all a good idea, judging by his stiff neck and his dry mouth and the fact that he has nothing to drink.

“What did he say?”

“He is going to the family. Apparently the road is clear from where he is so it seems like we are in some kind of pocket dimension.”

Dean suppresses a swear and pushes himself up on one elbow. It’s too dark to see anything beyond the windows but for a moment the wind is so strong that the car starts shaking, then the sky flashes white and booms and the sound is ear-splitting.

“It’s getting worse,” he rubs his eyes and cheeks and finds a dry spot of drool on the corner of his mouth. “You think Sam is gonna be fine?”

“I’m sure.” Castiel says. “They thought it was just the two of us, so they won’t see him coming.”

“How long was I out?”

“An hour at most.”

“You watched me all the time like a creep, didn’t you?”

“No,” says Castiel way too quickly to be entirely innocent. He also shoots him an irritated look that Dean suspects is more related to having been called creep that for the accusation itself. “I rearranged your tape collection.”

Now Dean gasps, aghast. “Oh, no. Again? Don’t tell me. Please don’t tell me it’s by year again.”

Castiel just nods and Dean becomes the image of desperation. “How could y- Really, Cas? Come on!”

Dean catches a glint of Castiel’s teeth in the dark as he smiles. “No.” he says sounding all proud “I was joking.”

Dean falls backwards on the seat with a groan. “Unfortunately, you will kill me with your terrible sense of humour.”

“Too late. We’ve already established that I won that game.”

“You know right, that if we are here for a very long time I will eventually have to eat you?”

Castiel just rolls his eyes.

  Phone battery 47%

Dean is still laying down, staring at the roof. Castiel has cracked his window open, just enough to let a breath of cool air in. It chases away the condensation on the windshield and brings in the smell of wet leaves and wet asphalt.

Dean is hit with the realization that they don’t get many moments like these. For one, none of them is covered in blood, and they are not fighting or running for their life. There is no anger or regret or guilt in the air. He can’t exactly complain.

Dean fixes his gaze on what he can see of his profile when is illuminated by the lightings: his dark hair, his high left cheekbone, his faint stubble, the tip of his nose. It’s even rarer to get to watch him unobserved. He feels a smile creeping on his lips.

For his part, it looks like it’s Castiel is starting to run out of patience. Dean can hear the rustling of his trench coat from where he is probably tormenting his hands in his lap. Knowing him, he can picture his mind is working tirelessly trying to find a way to be useful. Castiel loud sigh pierce the silence in the car.

“You told me to be patient earlier and now you’re bored of me already.” Dean teases.

Castiel turns towards him and then back ahead but there is no lightning that allows Dean to see his expression.

“I was just thinking. I thought you fell asleep again.“ There is a pause then he asks: “Are you? Bored of me?”

Dean sighs and feels protected by the dark and numbed by the sound of the rain and still a little groggy from his nap so he says. “Even when I see you all the time I feel like I barely see you.”

“I can’t tell if that’s good or not.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

  Phone battery: 32%

The screen lights up and it’s Sam, finally calling with news.

Dean puts him speakers.

“Sam?”

“Dean, they put something in your car,” he sounds out of breath.

“Hey, hey, how are you? What’s happening?”

“I’m fine, I can’t talk right now. They were both guilty. The mother was an accident; the spell was meant for someone else. Actually the mother was on it too. Apparently the whole family is into magic. I gotta -” a loud thunder covers his words.

“Sam? We didn’t get that.”

“They said it’s in the car. Look for hex bags, amulets, something you can destroy. I gotta go.”

“Alright. Just let us - ” but he’s already hung up.

So they get moving. They look into every corner, feel blindly in the dark, under the seats, inside the dashboard, as far as they can go behind the cushions.

Fifteen minutes later they’ve covered every surface and found nothing.

“Shit. What if it’s under the car? How are we gonna get that?”

Castiel looks at him and his expression tells Dean that nothing good is coming. In fact he says: “It can only be in the trunk.”

Dean blinks: “You are not going anywhere.”

“Dean.”

“No. No way.”

“Dean, it’s our only chance” he says it as if Dean is being unreasonable.

“No, Cas, let’s talk about it first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m stronger than you. I’m the one who has to go.”

Castiel has made up his mind. He moves and Dean uselessly reaches out to grab him, but he can’t get a good grip as he is blocked by the front seat and Castiel slips away and pushes his door open.

The rain seems to get ten times worse as soon as he does that and the whole sky lights up threatening above their head. Castiel pushes through the wind to get a foot out.

“Cas! Jesus, close the goddamn door. This isn’t gonna work and you’re getting my seats all wet!” shouts Dean but Castiel doesn’t seem to hear him. Another loud thunder has Dean crouching down, and when he looks up again, Castiel is standing outside. He looks towards Dean and then shuts the door. Dean sees him struggling to get his feet one after the other, like an invisible force is keeping him from moving. His face scrunches up as he pushes himself forward with a hand on the car. He takes a step. He slips back a few feet.

Dean heart stops. “Cas! Fucking hell! Get back here!” he shouts, uselessly banging his hands against the seats. He tries to open his own door and remembers that he’s got no shoes on. He hurries to climb over on the front seat.

When he looks back again, Castiel has almost made it to the rear of the car. The sky rumbles angrily, it lights up violently. In frantic movements Dean slips his boots on and pushes himself to the right to open the passenger seat door.

He could lose him. Right there, right now, he could fucking lose him.

The rain and the wind hit him full force all at once. It’s like he’s stepped under a waterfall, he is cold and wet and struggles to breath. He battles against the wind trying to keep the car door open enough to allow him to get out and prevent it being ripped off from the car. He can barely feel his face and hands.

Towards the back of the car Castiel has reached the trunk. Dean can make out his silhouette wiping his eyes with a hand and with the other fumbling with the handle.

At last the trunk opens and covers him from Dean’s view. As he tries to move, his hair stand up all over his body and then there’s an explosion of sound so loud that he needs to cover his ears. It’s quick and violent and it takes him a few moments to realize that a lightning bolt has just hit a few yard from them. His legs start shaking.

“Cas! Come on!” he shouts terrified, knowing that’s useless, that he won’t be able to hear him above the thunders booming over their heads.

Through the rain that whips fiercely his face and blinds him, Dean watches as Castiel closes the truck and traces his steps back to the door that he holds open for him. As soon as he is within reach Dean grabs a fistful of his clothes and hauls him inside.

  Phone battery 22%

Dean is yelling. He is still gripping a handful of Castiel’s clothes and he yanks and yanks at it and yells in his face. And Castiel is panting, he is soaking wet, his hair is dripping and plastered on his forehead and his eyelashes are stuck together and he lets himself being yanked and yelled at and he’s got fear in his eyes but also relief.

“I can’t believe you did that! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Dean is angry cause his voice is not louder than the rain and it’s not louder than the thunder but he wants it to be to be able to convey just how angry he is right now.

Castiel just blinks and breathes. At last, he brings up a hand to rest on Dean’s.

“Dean,” he says trying to calm him down. I’m okay. I’m here. It’s over.

Dean feels the relief wash over his body but then it pools behind his eyes and he feels like crying.

“You fucking asshole.”

The corner of Castiel’s lips turns slightly upward.

Dean yanks once again at his clothes and he means to pull him into a hug but somehow he finds his lips pressed against Castiel’s. They are both so shocked that they freeze and quickly pull back.

For a second they breath the same air. Dean swallows and blinks and tries to regain control of himself. Castiel doesn’t look scared, he only tilts his head slightly like he does so Dean covers the distance between them once again. Castiel’s lips are full and wet and as Dean kisses them, for a second he forgets all about near death, rain, witches and curses.

Then a thunder erupts above them and they jerk apart once again. Dean lets go of Castiel and wipes a hand over his wet face. “We should –” it’s all he manages.

Castiel doesn’t know what to say either. He just nods and quickly bends down to retrieve the hex bag that he’s dropped when Dean kissed him.

  Phone battery: 15%

It’s made of green silk and there’s a round symbol and a semicircle drawn on it. Castiel says they represent Hecate’s wheel and the Egyptian hieroglyphic for rain.

They don’t look at each other as they try to burn it. It takes more than one attempt as their fingers are wet and slippery and there’s nothing they can use to dry themselves with as everything else they have is also wet.

When it finally lights up it burns green. Dean winces as he sees it writhing on the floor mats of his car. “Oh Baby, I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” He says, and this is even before he realizes that they are both still dripping water all over the seats.

It’s almost instantaneous and slightly anticlimactic. The bag becomes dust and the clouds above them break, letting the sun shine through. Dean squints at the sudden change of light and when he opens his eyes again, everything is back to normal. The car is still covered in raindrops but the birds outside are chirping, there’s no tree half burned across the street and a car passes them by as if it’s just another day. Dean sighs and lets his head thump against the window while Castiel rolls down his.

They enjoy a moments of quietness, pierced only by Castiel saying “I’m sorry for scaring you”. He says it in his normal tone but it sounds loud to Dean’s ears, newly clear of rain and thunders.

He closes his eyes. “I just wish you’d stop jumping in on any occasion to get yourself killed.”

“I had to do it.”

Dean opens his eyes and shoots him a withering look. “But you almost died. Cas,” he takes a deep breath “don’t you get it? I’d rather be stuck under the downpour for the rest of my life than watch you die again.” He feels the rage take control of himself again and shake his voice and he lets it cause it’s better to ride it and let out what he wants to say than to hide in embarrassment.

He even holds his gaze.

“I can understand the sentiment.” Castiel says at last.

“Just – no more suicidal missions. If you don’t wanna do it for yourself, do it for me.”

Castiel presses his lips together and nods and Dean feels suddenly exhausted.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

“Okay.” Castiel agrees. “Should we talk about - ”

“Uh, what?” 

“Dean.”

“Cas,” he says, mimicking his tone.

Castiel holds his gaze for a long time. Dean says softly: “I mean, you know - right?”

“I do.” Castiel smiles. “Do you?”

“Yeah.” Dean swallows. He takes a deep breath and waits for a wave of dread to hit him but it never comes. He just feels like himself with a warm pleasant feeling in his lower belly. That’ll be time later to process it, he thinks, now they have stuff to do, places to go. 

  Phone battery: 5%

They are on the road again. It’s safe and quiet and sunny.

“Was it really necessary?” grumbles Castiel.

“Again, yes” Dean won’t hear no arguing. “I don’t even want to think about the damage we’ve already done.”

Sam’s phone rings once again before he picks up.

“Guys?”

“Sam? Dean is driving. Are you okay?”

“Oh, hey Cas. Yes, they went down pretty easily. Didn’t see me coming. Did you guys find the thing?”

“Yes, it was a hex bag. Everything is fine, we are almost in town.”

“Great. Should we agree on a spot so you can come pick me up?”

“Uh. We need to go back to the motel first. We are not wearing any clothes apart from our underwear.”

“You wh - ? Wait, what?”

“They were wet. Dean insisted. For the car.” Castiel says, trying to speak over Dean’s voice in the background that yells ‘Why did you tell him?’

Sam burst into laughing. “Oh my god.”

“So we will see you back at the motel?”

“Yeah, definitely, I will be there with my camera ready.”

There’s rustling and then Dean’s voice close to the microphone shouts: “Sam, I swear to God, I’ll run you ove-”

 Phone battery: 0%

I am participating in the spnstayathomechallenge by @bend-me-shape-me @pray4jensen @helianthus21

[tsbikersau]

Chapter 2

There were way too many people flooding the narrow paths in between the seats, not to mention crowding near the food stands, creating such big amount of noise that Logan could barely hear Patton’s excited rambling, which was already edging on half-screaming. He was a bit in front, leading the small group of theirs with Roman by his side, who couldn’t seem to be bothered by his surroundings - he probably enjoyed it the most of all of them. Logan looked to his side, checking up on Virgil. He was hunching down quite a bit, big headphones covering his ears to minimise the ridiculous noise, hands deep in his hoodie pocket, though Logan noted that he wasn’t shaking, which was a good sign.

“Oh, Roman!” , Patton suddenly exclaimed. “Your brother is racing today, did you know that?”.

The whole party looked to the racer, Patton with somewhat naïve joy, as if the same last name meant good memories, Logan rather neutrally curious about the answer and Virgil just a bit confused by the small change of demeanour he must have more sensed than heard.

Logan made a side note in his mind to ask the other what brand were those headphones later.

“I… didn’t”, Roman finally answered, after scanning the board with names to confirm that yes, his brother was indeed listed there. “But I guess it’s good to see the competition”, he said as if the sentence was finished with a question mark.

“Those are eliminations for the upcoming race, aren’t they?”, Logan found himself speaking and locking eyes with Roman when he glanced back to nod in confirmation. “Well then, it should not come as such a surprise now, should it? Remus is, after all, an another child of your family, it would be unusual for him not to be a part of this word.” He pointed out.

Roman huffed and was about to retaliate, but his attention got snapped to what they were looking for – empty seats close enough not to get anyone of their group separated (because as much as Roman would be fine with sitting on his own between strangers, Patton would insist that “it’s not a group hangout then!”, and Virgil couldn’t be left to his devices for obvious reasons everyone was aware of).

It so happened that the ones Roman spotted were at the end of two rows – two of them one row higher than the other, which would still mean that they had to split into pairs, but they’d be close enough to interact without disturbing any strangers in enjoying their experience spectating.

Logan was fine with that, of course. What he didn’t take into account, though, was the configuration in which he would be sitting next to Roman – after the fact he would admit it was a, colloquially speaking, stupid ass mistake, but somehow, it just didn’t occur to him. He didn’t even have time to ponder the seating arrangement before they were there and Virgil dragged Patton to sit next to him in the lower row, shielding him from the person one seat over.

And Logan understood why that would be, with his severe disorders, a person like Patton, who was able to quickly recognise the signs and aid with physical comfort and encouraging words was of significant importance to have next to him, especially in such a place during such circumstances. Roman would be no help, failing to notice subtle changes in behaviour while Logan himself would have trouble with comforting the other. Really, that was the most logical outcome.

It did, though, mean that Logan would have to sit next to Roman. In close proximity, because people designing bleacher seats didn’t plan for a lot of personal space.

When his heartbeat sped up just a tad bit and his throat closed up, Logan tried very hard to stop it from happening and reminding himself that there is no reason for such reaction. He’s known Roman for years, he wasn’t a stranger with whom an accidental brushing of shoulders would be uncomfortable at best. His reactions were not appropriate to the situation and that had to stop.

“Come on, Engine Nerd, don’t stand there like that”, Roman nudged him in the arm, bringing Logan back from his brief stupor.

He sat down, glad Roman left him the last seat of the row, probably having in mind that he, like Virgil, would be more comfortable that way.

When it turned out that Roman started to fidget and move around animatedly almost immediately after sitting down, too excited by the familiarity of the overall setting and unfamiliarity of being up on the spectator stands instead of down on the racing grounds, Logan gave up on trying to persuade himself that his previous reaction will go away. In contrary, he begrudgingly sighed to himself and decided to just ignore it. Just another small inconvenience.

There wasn’t anything extremely exciting in the race from the spectating point of view, Logan decided after it’s been going on for a while. Sure, the start was something that could be described as exciting, but after that it was just bikes going in circles. He supposed that to make it worth watching one must have a crew to cheer for, fix their attention on them and take in every taking over and losing positions, but without that, it was a bit… dull.

From time to time Logan flicked his gaze down, to assess how Virgil was doing, but he seemed fine. A bit tense, not always looking up, but fine. Patton seemed to handle him quite well, which was a relief.

Roman, on the other hand, got invested. Constantly trying to tell Logan about this or that, this crew or this, tactically avoiding mentioning his brother who, from what Logan could determine, was doing much better than some other contestants.

“Oh!”, Roman gripped Logan’s arm suddenly before exhaling, chuckling nervously. “Sorry”. He took his hand away quickly, “They were so close to crashing”, he explained in response to Logan’s slightly taken aback look.

Needless to say, Logan couldn’t calm his heart for the most of the remaining time of the race. He couldn’t exactly focus on it either, but that wasn’t such a waste seeing how he wasn’t as enamored in the sport itself. He just liked working on the machines, which, on a completely unrelated note, were way more logical than humans and much more easier to understand.

Throughout the whole event, Logan was a bit spaced out. He wouldn’t admit to it, but it surely helped with not noticing every single little brush coming from his side (it’s preposterous to even notice them all that time, honestly, Logan, “get a grip”, he started to chastise himself at some point) but it also meant not exactly noticing the slight change in atmosphere after the last lap was signalled, not at first. Only when everyone seemed to freeze, Roman included, did he pull himself back to full consciousness, right in time to watch Remus’ green bike cross the finish line with the rest of the contestants close behind him.

Remus won.

The crowd erupted into cheers, the sudden change in volume making Virgil flinch violently even though he was surely aware that it would happen. Logan flinched, too, unprepared for such drastic increase in decibels.

Patton turned back to try to communicate with them over the noise, but they still needed to lean forward to be able to hear him.

“We should go congratulate your brother, Roman!”, he practically yelled, even with them so close.

“What?”, Roman sounded baffled. “No way in hell am I going to congratulate that bastard”.

“Roman! He’s your brother!”

“Like I care”, he huffed to himself.

The thing with Patton was, though, he could either read lips or just had a very good skill of hearing when someone was mumbling, because he pursed his lips and was about to reply, but they had to start moving, seeing how people started to collect themselves, ready to leave the bleachers.

At least the rest of the small argument could be continued in smaller voices, in a more comfortable positions. If annoyed, hot-headed Roman was even capable of lowering his voice.

Which, he wasn’t. However, Patton was not the one to let go of something if he sets his mind to it, either.

For the whole trek down the stairs and lower, to the advertisement bands that circled the racing grounds Roman tried to argue with Patton who was unwaveringly leading them to greet the winner, which left Logan to trail behind them with Virgil at his side, pulling down his headphones, as there was no further need for them to be on. Logan had to admit, the speed with which the stadium emptied out was undeniably impressive.

“Are you okay, Vigil?”, Logan asked, watching the other exhaling slowly, fidgeting with the cord of the headphones.

“Mhm, I’m good”. Virgil glanced up at the pair in front of them, letting his gaze fall down to the floor after a few seconds. “Patton helped, y’know, that almost crash?”, he chuckled, quietly, nervousness mixing with slight darkness in the sound.

“I’m glad to hear that”. Logan put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder reassuringly, satisfied to see the quiet man smile just a bit at the gesture.

The rest of the way was silent, even Roman had given up on trying to convince Patton to change his mind. He was almost sulking, not different of a child whose parents didn’t agree on buying them a toy, but soon enough he was standing upright, features set in a prideful mask as soon as they got near enough for Patton to call out Remus’ name.

Remus was standing with his crew, just barely let off from the small interview for the local paper, finally able to stretch and relax. Or do a bridge and walk around on all fours, apparently, resembling a horror-esque creature. So maybe it would be suitable to call it crawling and talking with his crew.

Patton tried to call out to him, but must have not been heard, as everyone was busy getting all the things together to exit the building as well. It took a few tries for Patton to be sure that nothing else can be done, so he just turned to the rest of the group and shrugged.

“No luck for us today”, he said, seemingly not bothered in the slightest. “Wanna go for some ice cream?”.

He started walking to the exit before anyone got to answer, which, to an attentive eye, was a clear tell that he was not entirely indifferent to what had just happened, but he wasn’t going to outrightly show that nor tell anybody about it.

That was just how Patton dealt with the word, to the displeasure of his boss and co-mechanic.

It’s a discussion that needs to happen in the nearest future, Logan noted in his mind. Contrary to popular belief, he did care about his fellow employees and friends.

That care, however, sometimes meant putting the issue aside to discuss on a later date. For now, he reckoned ice cream would be a pick-me-up enough for Patton’s mood.

And in some far away part of his brain Logan regretted not getting to talk to Remus as well, he wasn’t going to dwell on that. Simple curiosity, nothing more.

Nothing worth making Roman as uncomfortable as he seemed to be with the mere idea of talking to his brother.

Logan was also curious why that was, exactly. That wondering got pushed back to join other emotions as they were walking out and Roman fell into the step beside him yet again.

There was enough time to get all the answers, he decided. Patience is a virtue, after all.

__________

<< Previous chapter ---- Masterpost ---- Next chapter >>

Tag list: @angelableblue

[briandthemoon]

~ Uploading this WIP here too! ~ {You can see both on my deviantArt too [same username], but with some of the original ideas and thoughts.} So uh, I did what I do best and shoved two things I love and have been hyperfocusing on for the last month together: Sanders Sides and RWBY.

I’ve been binging @thatsthat24 ‘s Sanders Sides videos and fan comics for the last month or so and by god, it’s really lifted my mood. I’m gonna work to get them all lined and coloured soon, but since I’ll be travelling in the next week, I’ll likely have paper sketches and such to upload if I’m lucky.

As for this AU, say hello to Team RNBO [Rainbow]! This is what I have so far in terms of character information; [putting it under a readmore, please do have a look!]

Roman De La Rosa:

- Semblance:  "Picture This" - the ability to conjure an item proportional to the positive emotions he alone is feeling. So the happier and more creative he feels, the better.

- Weapons: “Armas Y Rosas“, a gauntlet-gun [armas] and a rosen rapier sword [rosas]. It’s literally just a Guns N Roses joke.

Virgil Nightshade:

- Black Cat Faunus. I didn’t realise til too late how similar to Blake he is but honestly, idc, I love him.

- Semblance:  "Panic Room" - the ability to conjure a small isolated, soundproof space to trap someone in. Including himself in times of distress.

- Weapons: “Atropa”  and “Solanum”, two knives with dust vials that attach to the end to infuse the metal. He usually uses Gravity Dust because 1) aesthetic and 2) if you have gravity defying Dust? Thats a cool escape my guy.

Logan Blu-Berrie:

- Semblance: “Blu-Screen of Death” -   the ability to perform computer-esque functions via summons, i.e. attacking someone with a text box he just conjured, or browsing data and memories on a summoned screen for accuracy.

- Weapon: “Crofter”, a staff-spear that uses projection similar to Velvet’s weapon to form blades when needed. I.E. turning the staff into an axe or hammer or even forming a fishing line. [Looking at this whole thing, Logan wound up giving me big Scottish vibes in this AU and I’m SO for it.]

Patton Opal:

- Labrador Faunus, best boy 1000/10, didn’t have to re-work his design at all, what a madlad

- Semblance:  "New Trick" - the ability to mark a person and be able to find them via a boosted scent marker. So far Roman smells like strawberries and creme, Virgil smells like smokey wood, and Logan smells like jam. And yes, Patton has tried tracking himself. He smells of vanilla cookies.

Weapon: “Storge”, a shield - axe combo. Mostly used in the shield position unless he’s forced to be active in a fight. Tried to give this weapon BIG Rose Quartz Shield Vibes.

Remus Pepinillo:

- for those wondering, he threw out the De La Rosa name when he left the family to go eat deoderants without judgement. And to go cause havoc.

- Semblance: “Can’t Be Unseen” - Similar to Roman’s semblance, Remus can conjure items but instead based upon other people’s negative emotions directed at him. So things like disgust and fear directed at him make him stronger. 

- Weapon: “Asqueroso”, a mace that can be wielded in pole form or as a chain flail. The name literally is just the spanish for “Disgusting”.

“Deceit“:

- Python faunus. Pretty obvious there. As for a name, I’ll work with whatever becomes canon, tbh. His hat snake isn’t real, it’s just a design, but he has named his hat “Monty”.

- Semblance: “Trust in Me” - Deceit can mimic someone else’s voice to the point of being hypnotic in some cases.

- Weapon: “Kaa”, a microphone that can amplify sounds to use as ammo, or can be combined with dust vials for other effects, such as fire breathing or ice breath. This is absolutely where Virgil got the idea for his knives. 

~~ Little Things In Their Designs Collectively~~

- So mostly Roman and Virgil had a revamp and got added or changed details. I’m personally loving the rose decals for Roman, and the fact that Virgil has to keep sewing his hoodie pocket sides back up because he keeps knee-jerk whipping out his knives and catching them on the sides. Also freckles. I cannot stress enough how much I needed to give one of these cute lil guys freckles.

- Logan and Patton really didn’t change much; Patton came out perfect the first time, and Logan just needed some proportion adjustments. Later I went and added friendship bracelets to each design because I do not believe for a second that Patton wouldn’t make them team bracelets. The card suit beads was just an addition that I added because I am the artist and none of you can stop me from adding the tiniest of references to Homestuck Quadrants. 

- For Roman and Remus, I wanted them to have similar poses but good god, it was still hard to draw Remus’s hands. They look so good in the end though so I’m good with ‘em. I also might give him a little top hat or something at some point and see how it looks, I dunno.

- As for Deceit, I had a bit of trouble trying to pin down his design at first, but once I rolled with the allusions to Kaa from Jungle Book, it went far easier. I quite like that I added the poisonous needles in the bottom of his boots as a “sting in the tail” kind of thing.

- Talking about inspirations and such, Roman, Virgil, and Patton are pretty much just colour based; Roman being red roses [his name literally being Roman of the Rose] as a symbol of romance of course, with Virgil’s whole motif being Edgey and thus going with nightshade purple as his colour, and finally with Patton, his name took me the longest to work out, but Opal seemed to fit really well, and considering it represents Love and Loyalty? Come on, I had to.

- As for Logan, Deceit, and Remus, they all got more story links worked in somehow without me really realising. Logan was really unexpected, but between the Crofters’ Jam link and the blue colours, he gave me sort of Little Boy Blue vibes, and also via the name Logan being Scottish in origin and yknow, everythign else I mentioned? Yeah. I will definitely be adding celtic flair to his design when its coloured. Deceit is more obvious; Kaa was a good choice in influence that I noticed halfway through and just buckled down on. For Remus, he bounced around a bit between Maleficent and Dr Facilier, but in the end, I figured the Shadow Man was a better fit. Also his surname is literally just the Spanish for “Pickle” or “Gherkin”. 

- Final info, if people are wondering, they’d all be centred on Huntsman training at Beacon, but in terms of where they’re from;

Roman and Remus would be from Atlas, obviously. That place spits out rich kids with issues like it’s quickfire Uno.

Virgil would be from Mantle; it’s pretty obviously one of the more run down and hard to live in areas, plus that’d set up the in this universe initial animosity between Roman and Virgil.

Logan is from Vale, so he’s a Beacon native. I considered him being from Atlas because of their tech. However, Vale won me over with Logan’s european influences and such.

Patton would be from Vacuo. I know its a weird choice, but hey, it’s full of faunus and it just fit a bit better than Menagerie or Mistral.

Speaking of, Deceit is 100% Menagerie born, but Mistral bred. He often tells people different conflicting origin stories, and won’t even tell his name to ex-buddy Virgil or ‘best buddy’ Remus.

I think that’s everything so far!!

I dunno if everyone else is as hype to see what comes of all this as I am, but either way I’m going to have fun doing it. <3

_______ PLEASE DO NOT: - repost my art at all - you are not permitted to line or colour this art - you are not permitted to use this art as an icon or profile pic - do not steal these designs, I put a lot of work into them ;; _______ Sanders Sides (c) @thatsthat24 RWBY (c) Monty Oum & Rooster Teeth The sketches belong to me.

[alchemist-shizun]

Seirios

Read on Ao3!

Check out the wonderful artwork by @jajathelivingmeme !! She’s a delight and a talented friend 💜

Word Count: 22,331

Characters: Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, Thomas

Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Loceit, Remile

Warning(s): minor character death and death mentions, implied bad parenting (minor), slight violence, not physical, unrequited romance, kissing, crying, panic attack, ptsd, blood, face and eye injury, scar mention, knives mention, hospital mention, very slight gore (just in an emotional description), insomnia mention, Passing out, apparent major characters death (tell me if I missed anything!)

Summary: It's hard for kids to fall asleep. It's especially hard for Remus when he can't help but stare at the night sky, mesmerized. That's why his guardian and uncle Janus decided to tell him a bed time story about two stars' lives and adventures along with the Sun and the Moon. Janus surely didn't expect for the storytelling to lead them to meet the local astronomer, Logan, not to mention develop a stronger bond with him. The best bit? All of his stories were true. Meet Janus Hydra, a fallen shooting star become human, and come listen to the events he witnessed while in space.

A/N: This is my entry for @ts-storytime ! A big thank you to @i-am-overly-complicated for the moral support and some suggestions, and to @crazydemigod666 for beta reading the fic, love ya bud. I worked super hard on this, I hope you all enjoy! Taglist will be added in a reblog.

✾

❝ It's you, it's you, it's all for you,

Everything I do.

I tell you all the time,

Heaven is a place on earth with you. ❞

He knew nothing of the sky.

He would look out of the window at night and glance up at the starry empyrean, wondering how it was possible that his mother had been part of those celestial entities.

And maybe, now that she was gone, he hoped she was part of them again, the stardust she had left behind now scattered across the universe.

« Remus? » his uncle Janus knocked on the door to his room and peeked inside. « Ready to settle down for the night? »

The kid sighed and stepped away from the window he was resting his arms and head on; sleeping was the part of the day he hated the most, there were so many things awaiting him, ideas in his head he wanted to get out in the real world, how could he simply lay dead doing absolutely nothing for eight hours straight?

Resting was too boring and Remus could think of more than a few things to do in its place.

Janus took a couple of steps in his nephew's direction and held out a hand to him like he was doing a grand gesture.

« Is the little duke in the mood for his sleeping duty? »

« Don't think so. » Remus shrugged and glanced at his bed with disinterest.

He pretended he didn't notice his uncle's small sigh and that expression that always seemed to show veiled compassion whenever the kid wouldn't comply.

Janus thought that Remus was a wonderful child, probably the strongest one he'd ever met, there was nothing he was not grateful for when it came to him: only a couple of years had passed from Angy's death, along with his father leaving him behind right after, and there wasn't a day in which he had let himself feel defeated.

After all, Janus had realized that he was the one to really need the other during that period.

Yet there was that one little detail Remus couldn't get himself behind, which was the need to lie your body down and prepare yourself for the following day. He could struggle all he wanted, but there was no way for either of them to find a solution.

Until Janus posed that fateful question in his mind: what would Angy do in this situation?

He raised his eyebrows as the best option surfaced.

Remus watched him tap his finger on his chin, looking around the room for a seat until he brought one in himself, placing it next to the bed the eight-year-old was now sitting on.

Anguis Hydra had been a shooting star in the sky and a writer on Earth when she fell along with her brother, and if there was something her brother knew best was that the finest solution to any problem she had found was storytelling.

Her readers had given her the nickname of “Angst Hydra”, for how much pain they felt thanks to her books.

Little did they know the stories were real: stories based off of other stars encounters they had had during their travels, her memory her sharpest tool.

« Did Angy ever tell you about the most luminous star you can see from the Earth's sky? »

Janus saw Remus's little eyebrows furrow, sign of a notion that was new to him. He brought his legs to his chest as he leaned on his pillow.

« It's actually a binary system, which is composed of two stars orbiting around each other. »

« Is it the … Sirius system? » Remus seemed to recall, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.

Janus nodded. « Good job. So, all earthlings know about them is astronomical details, the usual research stuff, right? »

The kid made an agreement noise, curious to where that was gonna land.

« They call them Sirius A and B, but as you may expect there's a lot more into it. » he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. « Your mum and I had the occasion to meet them and witness their life events. » he could already notice the excitement growing in Remus's eyes. « So, want to listen to their fairytale? »

« Will there be chaos? »

« You have no idea. » both of them grinned as the kid settled in the only right way he knew: wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and using his pillow as a seat.

« I'm ready! »

« Keep in mind that it's a long story, so we won't be able to cover all of it tonight, alright? »

Remus nodded despite defeated; Janus, on the other hand, knew that if he managed to get him hooked on the tale, he could have made his nephew look forward to bedtime and made things relatively easier.

A win-win situation.

The man turned off the room's lights only to switch on the bedside lamp with green LEDs.

« Alright little duke. » he moved in a comfortable position. « It's time for you to learn of the dance of the stars during the sunset, the moment the sun and the moon meet to leave each other's place to one another. »

Remus had never heard of such a thing, it was a simple tradition his mother and his uncle never took part of as their star selves happened to be constantly moving around with no time for grand events.

« But let's start from the beginning: let me introduce you to our beloved protagonists. »

✾✾✾✾

There were two notions stars were born with: the concept of the moon and the one of the sun.

They were aware there were multiple ones depending on which solar system they were close to, which planet they were taking into account.

But if there was a third piece of knowledge Virgil was certain of, it was that ever since he'd seen him from his little spot, he had been in love with the sun.

Such a titanic star shielding his own much smaller one.

When he was little, he'd look up at the sun and find a hero, a role model he had always been eager to follow: now, whenever he did that, he longed for contact and the revelation of his gorgeous self he wasn't yet able to meet from afar.

Casual passerby stars or nebulae narrated their encounters with the sun, encounters of which Virgil only grew jealous.

His admiration could only grow as much as he couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of those meetings, as he still wondered what was the intensity with which the sun's eyes glowed, the warmth of his protection and his benevolence.

« You want me to tell you about Emile, little one? » Patton was one of those nebulae that had been already circulating for a while and were old enough to attend a very important event that a myriad of stars took part in.

He hadn't quite realized why Virgil was so eager to meet the sun, but hadn't questioned it once since he'd met him.

« Well there are quite a few tales I can tell you about him! »

And so he did and Virgil found himself hanging onto every single word that escaped the other's mouth.

The little star could do nothing but wait for more stories as he grew along the space around him, hoping that maybe one day his orbit would find him.

Everything was going to change once he'd reached stability and joined the

Sunset's Ball.

✾✾✾✾

« The what? » Remus's sleepy eyes questioned Janus.

« One thing at a time, Rem. » the adult brushed some locks from Remus's forehead. « I'll get there later. But first, there's someone else you need to acknowledge. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman had always been aware of his star title: Sirius A. Thanks to that, he had also always known how he was part of a binary system.

Ever since then, he had been more than eager to meet the other star of his system, dreaming of one day finally finding a friend in them, like he had found in Patton, who would always bring news of Virgil.

He had learnt his name thanks to the nebula and mentioned it in his thoughts and conversations like he was a lifelong friend.

Roman's star was bigger and brighter than Sirius B, greatly shielding its vision.

He felt lonely during his growth and stabilization, anyone would have been intimidated by his star dimensions, therefore the visits paid to him were far less than the ones reserved for Virgil.

Yet he would spend his days trying to get someone's attention and, eventually, he'd stop to look down at the other star and wonder when their meeting would come.

Would it come at all?

Star dances were commonly known, but many happened during the day, so one wouldn't be sure of who they were going to end up with until their very first Ball.

That type of dance was the only one performed by stars, it occurred daily and it was a celebration of either sunset or sunrise, the moments in which the Sun and the Moon met and exchanged greetings, only to swap places with each other.

Only the most important stars could participate, once  stability was reached and they were certain that they would've caused no harm to others: the floating palace in which they took place had been the same for millennia and not a single wrong move had been done to endanger it, it had now become a pillar in their history.

Reaching that place was kind of a rite of passage for the stars and proof of respectability for Roman since, compared to the Sun, he and some other stars were far bigger.

Yet, humans had praised the Moon and his partner as actual gods in various religions and cultures, along with other planets they had acknowledged.

So the bigger celestial objects resonated that their importance still varied and wasn't related to how they presented, but rather to who they were, thus they learnt to stand their ground.

And even so, Roman's true goal had always been a different one.

He was going to meet Virgil, one way or another.

✾✾✾✾

Remus's head hit his uncle's arm lightly, a tiny bump against Janus's sleeve; the man took a break from his storytelling after noticing that the boy's eyes were closed, having finally resigned to the heaviness of sleep, smiled to himself and tucked his nephew in bed.

He followed his nightly routine as well which consisted of watching tv until he passed out and woke up way too early for his schedule, only to go back to sleep in his room for a couple more hours.

If only that night had gone exactly like that.

Janus had touched his mattress at around the same indecent time he did normally and fallen asleep minutes after.

Flashes happened and now hands were on his face, twisted and disappeared, turning into a pair of green eyes that were looking fondly at another woman. They laughed and held hands and he had a knot in his stomach as he hugged him a little too tightly. And Janus was breathing, then not, then sobbing, then he knew her happiness came first because the world was so cruel to him. Then Janus smiled, then he didn't, he held his breath as she stopped altogether and then the green-eyed man left. And he?

He woke up.

Barely three hours had passed and he was already sitting up, hugging himself and resting his face on his knees, his expression contorted in a multitude of unpleasantries.

That was not possible.

He was over that, he was over him, there was no need for his subconscious to resurface the majority of his life's regrets so far.

There was definitely no need to remember, to say the least.

What he was gonna do now was going back to sleep and never think about that dream ever again.

Of course, he actually laid awake to stare at the ceiling blankly until his alarm went off, which he turned off automatically, solely moving his arm.

He had looked into the mirror once he had gotten to his bathroom and forced a smile on, but the usual sparkles stars emanated when happy didn't surround his skin.

When he had gotten Remus to school, the kid had pointed out how darker his eye-bags had become lately.

« Can I get matching ones? »

« No, lil duke, better not. » you're gonna end up like this eventually as an adult.

Janus was sick of the constant pitiful glances he got from his co-workers when he had a bad day, the whispers they passed between each other, the fake respectability they kept when he was in a low mood.

None of them personally knew Janus on a close level.

So, as he thought, none of them could have felt entitled to initiate a conversation on a low-key personal topic.

Yet, there a man was, sliding a card on his desk.

« He's a good therapist, I've heard. If you … you know, have any troubles or if your nephew- »

Not even a glance at the name and Janus's insides were revolting. « We don't need it. » a tight-lipped smile set on his face. « Thank you anyway. »

The man almost ran away at that, embarrassed and frantically looking back at his own work position.

Janus took the card in his hands.

Those same innocent and achingly beautiful green eyes stared back at him; Clyde Davis had been his brother in law for as long as Anguis had been alive, once on Earth.

He didn't mean for his memories to overcome him yet again, but here he was, almost blinded near the day of the death's anniversary.

His eyes fixated on the nothingness right above the floor as thoughts flew by his mind: Angy and him had just fallen on Earth, somehow adjusting to the humans' costumes in no time.

They had some slip-ups when it came to ethics and morality, that was why when it came to the realization of feelings the two brothers had different experiences.

Who would've thought humans were so idiotic to banish certain natural forms of love such as the ones not stereotypically between a man and a woman? (the issues on gender identity and sex were also introduced to them on that planet, as stars lacked the concept despite their anthropomorphic forms)

Who would've thought Janus had to find out from the news right after realizing he had gotten a crush for the same man his sister had fallen in love with?

Sure, it was easier to let her happiness come first that way, but it didn't mean his feelings were hurting any less.

If anything, he was constantly mixing joy and guilt, some sort of bittersweet ending that didn't sit right with his emotions, but it did with his conscience.

Wrong wasn't how he felt at Anguis and Clyde's wedding, but maybe more relieved as he was sure that way his love could've dissipated.

At least he hoped so, especially since he was going to live alone from then on.

He thought distance had worked, but then Remus happened and he visited more often than ever, especially since the boy resembles the two people he loved the most.

The circumstances didn't help him, but he had learnt to disguise how he felt better.

Janus thought nothing could've shattered that nice picture.

And then Anguis fell ill.

Some kind of immunodeficiency, a state that saw her body shut down as a star that slowly died and stopped lighting up the night sky.

He had seen her eyes turn black, he had known all along what it meant, but he did not want to accept it. Only deny it to himself as he was now living at her place, helping out when he could.

When the fatal day occurred, Janus, Clyde and Remus were standing by her as her skin got almost colder than the bed she was in.

It hadn't sparkled in too long.

She knew what was going on, she had intimated them to say goodbye as much as they didn't want to; she looked unfairly defeated.

As the time struck, her body stiffened and everything left of her was stardust that emanated its final glow.

Janus's memory had blocked out everything that came after, especially the funeral.

Of course, he couldn't have forgotten the day Clyde came to him, his eyes now dull and distant, He wanted to leave, start a new life and leave behind everything else because he could not bear to look at Remus or him and be reminded of Anguis.

Clyde asked him to take Remus's custody and for the first time Janus had wanted to punch his face rather than kiss him.

But he had instead accepted, not out of empathy, but because he had become so lost that he wasn't sure his reality was so truthful anymore.

Remus had been a blessing, saving him from negativity more than he could with himself. He was a wonder, that kid.

Janus had zoned out for so long that he came back to Earth only as he was sitting on an armchair at home, while his nephew played with some toys right behind him.

« Hey. Did you know you're a wonderful kid? »

« I thought that was obvious. Also, gross, I'd rather be called stinky! » he hadn't even looked up from his creation.

Janus snorted. « Of course. » he made to get up and make dinner.

Later in the evening, Remus had climbed onto the counter and stared at Janus, who was leaning against the furniture while drinking some warm tea.

« I'm going to the astronomy museum tomorrow! »

« I know. »

« Don't you think it's time for a story then? »

The man giggled. « Are you bribing me? »

« You've been brooding all day, uncle! » he jumped back down, and hugged his waist only to pull him out of the kitchen.

Janus did his best not to stumble. « Alright, alright, we need some time-out time. » he picked his nephew up and in a minute they were settled for their storytelling.

« So- »

« Did dad show up? »

He fell silent, baffled by the sudden question. He gave Remus a puzzled look.

« You always act absent when something related to him happens. » the kid explained.

Who gave an eight-year-old the right to be that smart?

Janus opened and closed his mouth several times. « Well- Not exactly. » he scratched the back of his neck. « They talked about him. I think I might have gotten … triggered? » he wasn't sure whether or not that was the right term to use. But he did feel numb for the majority of the day, despite the flashbacks.

« Well, fuck him. »

« Rem- »

« No, fuck that guy. » Remus raised his voice more, but Janus didn't find it in himself to stop him. « he just dropped his burdens on you and left like a coward! Fuck that bullshit! » his face was red with anger.

« I know. But dear, you're not a burden. »

« I don't even care if I am for him. »

« Let me finish. » Janus used the calmest tone possible to balance out the other's upset. « As much as you don't agree with what he's done, you have to remember everyone's got their own way to cope. »

He sighed, eyes fixed to the floor. « In his case, he could've probably been a bad parent for you and decided to trust you with me rather than himself. He knows I love you just as much, so he wanted you to be in a certainly safe environment. »

Remus wasn't still entirely convinced.

« The thing is, he feared not being able to raise you the way you deserve. You still have all the right to be angry at him, of course. But you need to know that you didn't do anything bad for this all to happen, okay? »

The kid bit the inside of his mouth. « Yeah, I know. You've told me plenty of times. »

« Repetita iuvant. And honestly you've been of help more than he would imagine, so … yeah fuck him. »

The duo snickered and gave each other a matching mischievous glance.

« But seriously, no swearing like a sailor until you're older, okay? At least not in front of other adults, you know how they get easily impressed. »

« Ugh, they never let me do anything fun. »

« Capitalism. »

« What? »

« Nothing, let's carry on with the story. Tonight, Virgil and Roman are going to finally meet. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman was ecstatic.

He had been accompanied by Patton and they had now made their entrance in the ballroom.

The space looked fancy and highly decorated, white, gold and blue themes coloured every object, glistening with a bit of purple here and there. It felt like being in the gods' lair, high columns sustained a roof for a space much bigger than its guests.

A pompous environment that suggested any trait related to space and stars.

Everyone was dressed up for the occasion, he felt like he was in the middle of one of those royal dances humans had to entertain themselves.

They all had a mask covering part of their face; it was a way of respecting the Sun and Moon as they had yet to arrive and would wear it as well until they took it off alongside everyone.

Clothes and masks were pretty much the same for everyone, changing based on the type of star you were, only the colours changed for everybody.

Roman was wearing crimson items; they often recalled the color of a star's eyes, like his case.

« Feeling nervous? » Patton was leading him toward their designated spot, he had previously offered his arm to Roman after showing off his sky-blue outfit.

« Kind of. Don't wanna mess up. But also what if they're not here? » Roman was already pulling at the hem of his sleeve.

« I'm sure they are. Normally binary systems are put together. I'll help you search! » Patton gave a warming smile that ushered the other not to worry too much.

« Should I go find a dance partner? » there was literally no etiquette to follow until the two main protagonists arrived.

The nebula noticed the initial discomfort in him. « That, or you can stay with me for now. »

Roman was about to reply in gratitude when he saw everyone move to the centre of the room, where he got by taking Patton's hand.

Alright, here we go.

The first part of the dance had the stars already dancing around the room while waiting; none told Roman there would have been partner changes.

He and Patton had just turned, their backs facing, when suddenly his hand touched another one and there he was spinning slowly with a stranger.

Roman had a pair of purple irises fixed in his own, on a stoic face they were decorating, his head slightly tilted.

« Hi. » he had tried, but he only saw the star's eyes look down, ignoring his greeting.

That made Roman feel defeated, little did he know the stranger's goal was another and that he couldn't lose time on uneventful conversation.

One of each star's hand was intertwined with the others'.

Should have Roman been stoic as well? Could they talk during the event? Was he being judged by the other guy?

Still, after seemingly searching into Roman for some sort of hint, the other star kept looking behind his shoulders, especially on the front door, which was decorated with complicated bass-relief motives.

Was he more interested into the room's details than meeting new people?

Roman glanced around for clues and his eyes met smiling and chatting couples, giving him the impression that he had been doing something wrong.

Until he met Patton's look again and he noticed the signals he was giving him.

“It's him”, his lips mouthed and it finally hit Roman when Patton motioned towards the other with his eyes.

Roman blinked in bewilderment and turned back to his partner only to see him let go of his hand, his back already facing him, without a single chance for him to speak some last words.

His focus shifted again when a different light glowed into the room, he heard the door starting to open and everyone was pushed at both opposite sides of the room.

A path was now created, like a little temporary corridor.

Finally, from either door, two figures started walking down the path, making it very clear on their identity: the Sun and Moon had made their entrance.

Gold and silver shining like they were the only things in existence, the two met halfway and joined hands, making the whole audience restart their own dance.

Roman's companion had changed and it was now a lady part of a system, her name was Zeta, but he couldn't help but think back at how close he had been to his discovery.

Everytime he caught a glimpse of him, he lost it, happening so often that Roman had been closer to interact with the Moon instead.

Patton had told him his name was Remy, while the Sun's was Emile and they were part of a particular solar system which contained planets such as Jupiter, Mars, or his favourite, Saturn.

He had also been told there were rumors behind the two's different clothing; Emile was rumored to wear gloves so he could protect others from his burning touch, while Remy was never seen without his sunglasses, probably because he would have gone severely injured if he had directly looked at the Sun.

Busying himself with the search for his system's second star, he almost didn't notice it when people started scattering and some went back to chatting.

Emile and Remy took off their masks alongside everyone and respectively put on glasses and sunglasses.

« Hey there! »

Roman turned. « Holy stars, Patton! I can't believe I almost had him. »

« Well, at least you know he's here now, right? » the nebula started looking around from his spot to search for Virgil again.

« Yeah, I hope it'll be easier to- »

« Found him. » Patton pointed at a few feet next to them, where their object of interest was sitting, attentively staring at something or someone.

Roman felt something in his chest click as soon as he was able to see his face clearly: he didn't know how to describe it, but he loved and absolutely loathed it at the same time.

He realized he had been holding his breath only after he deeply exhaled, making Patton raise an eyebrow.

« Are you going to say hello, or …? »

That was not ideal.

That was actually utterly terrible, how he felt drawn to the other and yet terrified at the same time, the intensity making it a seemingly impossible goal.

Despite the other being the infinitely smaller star, Roman was in awe, like he couldn't compare to him in any sort of way; the aura he gave off was too strong, so much that he seemed to know the secrets of the universe before anyone else.

Roman couldn't explain it, but he had to talk to him or else he would've probably combusted.

What had gotten into him? Did the realization of actually having the possibility of making friends with the other half of his binary system just hit him? … Would the other really agree to such a friendship?

He was afraid to answer that. They barely knew each other, anyway.

Roman started approaching him and felt his legs as heavy as lead, his tongue tied and all the conversations that he had prepared basically gone from his mind.

So many years of longing for this meeting only for it to go into shambles.

Yet, there he was, at last standing next to him.

« Greetings, the name's Roman. » he achieved a single apparently annoyed glance. He looked still … in search of something. « I was wondering whether you were the star entitled as Sirius B. »

Roman finally got a reaction out of him, a slick turn of the head in an impressed expression. « How would you know that? »

Roman grinned and moved one hand from behind his back. « Well, you see, » he started, theatrically bowing down just that necessary to still look him in the eyes. « It just so happens that I am Sirius A. »

✾✾✾✾

Janus was mimicking Roman's gesture as Remus watched in awe.

« Who knows what Virgil will say? »

« Hold it- What do you mean? » Remus sluggishly said with his cheek pressed against the pillow.

« I mean that it's late and you should rest before your little school trip, alright? »

The kid didn't look very convinced.

Janus tried again. « Also, I'm going to give you a mission for tomorrow. »

Remus's eyes lit up again. « What is it? »

« You're going to have to find the stars I've been telling you about. There's going to be a dark room full of projections; it's gonna be fun. »

His nephew let out a “Ooh” of understanding and admiration, already picturing what it could have looked like.

« Come on now, » Janus helped him set into bed and kissed his forehead, at which, like any other night, Remus commented with a “gross” and wiped at his skin.

It was their little routine before Janus himself started preparing for the night.

He was pacing around the living room when he could have sworn he had heard something moving right outside of his apartment's door; he stood there for a second, simply staring at the doorknob, expecting it to twist at any second.

Nothing came through and thus he went to sleep.

He really needed a relaxing bath first.

Janus knew something had been off as soon as he had woken up; the uneasiness from the night before still lingered, pressing down on his stomach.

He could not deal with this.

It was six a.m. again and he was staring at the cupboard in the bathroom.

No, it was fine. He was fine, he could do it on his own.

He breathed deeply and exited the room only to find a perky Remus already up and excited for his trip.

The kid smiled up at him. « Is breakfast ready yet? »

Janus forgot all about how he had woken up.

Merely an hour and a half later, Remus had been dropped off at the school bus after making sure he had everything he needed and that he was under the supervision of all the class' teachers.

He was still going up the stairs of the condominium, when he noticed a figure fidgeting and standing by his door.

Brown curls, green eyes and still impossibly gorgeous.

Janus's stomach did a triple flip and he didn't know if it was for delight or bitterness. Of course, his mind blanked as soon as Clyde acknowledged him.

« Hey, J. » the tone was unsure.

None had been allowed to call him that in years.

« It's been a while … »

« Indeed. » he responded sternly, almost petrified as he waited for the other to state the reason for his visit.

« Uhm, I … needed to get a thing I left here. »

« Here. »

« Yeah. »

Clyde was trying his best not to make everything awkward, but Janus was making it godawfully impossible.

The star didn't talk any further and simply turned the keys to unlock the door, stepping in and aside to let the other enter.

« Get what you need and leave. » he didn't make eye contact, or else he would have been fucked.

A distraction.

Janus went into the kitchen, busying himself with getting things ready for lunch, while Clyde headed for Remus's room; there was a photo album he needed to get after all, there was no way Remus would have wanted to keep pictures of a dad that had given up on him.

He picked up the album and turned the first couple of pages. Then more and more.

Remus had cut out Clyde's face from any picture in which he had appeared.

It was a hit to his heart, a well deserved one, but a hit nonetheless; he put the album back and headed for the door, but something pulled him back to Janus.

The star eyed him warily.

« Did you get it? »

« Not really, but- I figured it doesn't matter anymore. »

Janus made an uninterested noise without looking back up at him.

« If there's anything- »

« We don't need your help. »

Clyde's eyes fell to the floor, but he insisted and came closer to the other, standing at his side.

« I know it's kind of hypocritical but were you to find yourself in a difficult situation- »

« Hypocritical? » Janus scoffed, finally turning to him and glaring at him.

He wanted to drown.

« The only time my situation becomes difficult is when you are around. » he could feel his insides heating up.

« Listen I know you hate me now- »

Oh, was that guilt tripping? That was guilt tripping.

« That's the issue. Everytime I see you, I get reminded of the fact that I just … I don't actually hate you and it sucks, so please leave. » he felt like he was on the verge of either tears or a crisis out of exasperation.

« Janus … » Clyde dared to lift a hand as the other tried to focus back on cooking.

« Don't touch me. »

« Listen. » the man took Janus's wrist anyway with the sole purpose of trying to put some sense into him.

Janus tried to wiggle free from his grip. « I said- » until … « Ugh! » he did.

But his hand had jerked back right onto his cheek, causing the knife he was holding to leave a deep cut through his eye and cheek.

He dropped everything and held his head as a luminous substance flowed out of his cut.

Star's blood.

« Oh my- Oh god, I- »

« Get out! » he yelled one last time and could only hear Clyde's steps as he hurried away from him.

Now there was something interesting about stars: they had a really peculiar way of healing, so much that hospitals wouldn't understand their ways. So Janus ought to help himself.

He quickly washed the blood out of his hands and ran into his room before he could pass out, closed the windows and turned every light off.

By memory he found the little box he had hidden in the bedside table, a secret drawer.

He opened it and a blinding light illuminated the room. That was the light that belonged to him as a star; once you disguise yourself as a human you get to keep it in case of emergencies.

Janus felt heat coming back to his body and pain retreating from his brain.

When he closed it everything felt normal again, despite the tiredness from what had just happened.

Then he looked in the mirror.

A terrible scar ran from above his eyebrow, down his eye and onto his cheek, still so fresh and yet … It looked like a childhood one. And he could still perfectly see.

He didn't want to deal with that right then: he went back to work on his meal and decided on a relaxation day as he didn't have work and really needed a rest.

All he wanted to do was scream and probably cry, but he decided on staring at the ceiling from the living room's couch.

By the time he woke up, he had to go pick up Remus from the school trip, which now required him to put on concealer on his face.

His nephew didn't mention anything about it around others.

But he wasn't certainly stupid.

Once in the car, he spoke up. « What happened to your face? »

« Can't a man wear make-up? »

« Yes, but you've never done It before. And you're not in love so there's none to make yourself pretty for. »

« Ouch, now I'm not pretty? » Janus chuckled.

Remus pointed a finger at him. « You're insecure! »

When will children stop being so brutally honest?

Once home, Janus went straight for the bathroom to wipe the concealer away. « You see, little duke, » he called from there. « Sometimes you don't want to explain things. Sometimes you can't. » he then went back to him and showed his scar.

« What happened? »

« An accident. I recovered quickly with some remaining starry powers. »

The kid seemed to accept it, despite being skeptical.

« Can I get one too? I want to be like a dragon! »

« Dragons don't have scars, kid. » Janus tilted his head.

« They do! It's written in books, they have them all over their bodies. »

« Sweetie, those are scales. »

Remus considered for a second, his eyes fixated on a random spot.

« Uncle, I think my life is a lie. »

Janus finally laughed for real and they decided to leave the corridor for the more important conversation to happen in the living room; the kid started going on about the astronomy museum and all its wonders.

« And then there was that big constellations projector like you mentioned and it was beautiful. » Remus mimicked how he would've showed him in the room, as if the projections were in their apartment. « The scientist knew everything about them, he answered every question, uncle Jee I want to go back! »

Janus smiled the entire time, especially at how his nephew was now looking at him with literal sparkles in his eyes.

« Your birthday is around, isn't it? We could go back then. »

The kid started jumping around in excitement. « I want to visit everyday! I could sell lemonade like they do in cartoons and pay my ticket everyday! »

He giggled, while Remus kept coming up with different ways to assist himself. « I don't think that's likely, but we could visit often if that's what you'd like. »

« But Logan … » the other murmured sadly. « The star man ... »

Janus theatrically scoffed. « Excuse you, am I not enough of a star human myself? »

Remus stuck his tongue out at him and started running around the room only to flee from his uncle's vision in order for him to try and chase him; Janus sighed in a “not this again” manner and walked towards his general direction.

The scar had already been long forgotten.

✾✾✾✾

After days of non stop talking about that one astronomer and the museum, Remus's birthday finally came around.

It didn't seem such a peculiar or important day for that same one astronomer the kid kept talking about, the intelligent and cool one that he wanted to celebrate with.

Logan was walking up the stairs to the museum, his beloved workplace he wouldn't have traded for any kind of amount of gold.

Thankfully, its location had been accessible to a great number of tourists and curious citizens ever since it had been founded, so that every worker could be easily secured in their position.

He waved at his colleagues as he headed to his little office where he often stayed late to do research along side other devoted astronomers; his afternoon shift was about to start, right on time to run through a couple of papers of the previous night before meeting his first group of the day.

Being a tour guide around a museum whilst assisting in astronomy research all the while had its perks and downsides.

Mostly for Logan, it was his insatiable need to let every single thought that ran in his mind directly out for others to hear and obtain as information. It had always been hard as a teenager, especially during high-school.

It wasn't that he studied irregularly – well, maybe sometimes – but he, unlike the majority of his classmates, had to do extra work on training his speech method. The bits of info that stuck to his head while he studied were far too many and growing with each passing test, which made it harder to form connected sentences.

Talking was even worse than writing, he had no time to re-formulate what he had said a minute earlier, he couldn't go back to check what was his initial point, making his oral tests a complete mess.

Despite this, knowing what he wanted to do in his life in the long run, he kept practicing, finding great treasure in info-dumping people about his special interests.

Getting to discuss this kind of matter with university colleagues was a far better help than feeling like you were talking to a wall when your interlocutor kept nodding and smiling, clearly ignorant of whatever you were talking about.

It had also helped to understand how exactly you should modulate your speech depending on the audience, making it all a perfect experience for a soon-to-be guide.

Logan left the room and finally met his momentary students, ready to prepare their minds for the bliss of knowledge.

He briefly glanced through them, multiple people all different from one another, proving the world that education could be for anybody; he moved through different topics with ease, basically dancing between different rooms as he caught glimpses of other interested visitors, such as curious middle schoolers, or a man with bright yellow gloves talking softly to a small excited kid next to him.

It was his place, he felt at home, that strange and rare belonging sentiment.

The satisfaction of leaving the last group of people whose minds wandered in the deepest parts of space, now devoid of questions.

Who he didn't expect to still be wandering around the various exhibits hours after their entrance was that same man with yellow gloves and … supposedly his kid?

Logan leaned on the wall of the room's entrance, still out of sight, trying to catch what kind of conversation might have kept them around for so long.

Not much to his surprise, he heard the man talk of stars with an impressive accuracy, pointing up at the big white and blue projector.

It felt like he had met them personally and conversed with them.

He found himself smiling involuntary as he recognized his own enthusiasm in the boy.

And then …

« It's almost closing time, so, are you ready to hear what Virgil had to say? »

Remus's eyes lit up impossibly more and yelled a convinced “yeah!” before sitting on his uncle's lap and pointing up towards the binary-star Sirius.

« There. »

… he was brought elsewhere.

✾✾✾✾

Virgil always thought they'd have looked the same.

Either some sort of twins or really similar, differently aged bodies, something as weird as that.

Now a gleaming figure stood before him, completely different from how he had imagined him, so much that he almost distrusted that information.

« Patton told me about you. » Roman added later, as if he had just read his mind.

After the initial awkwardness, noticing the blunt disinterest, he tried again.

« So, what would be the name of my system companion? »

The other star raised an eyebrow at the unusual title and looked away before he could respond, making his answer muffled by the music echoing in the room.

« Virgil. »

« Well then, a pleasure being your friend then, Virgil. »

That finally got a reaction out of him, as the smaller star snorted sarcastically. « I don't really think meeting one time is what it takes to be someone's friend, Roman. »

He laughed lightly. « My apologies, I don't actually know how it works, » still with a smile on, he looked down. « I don't really have friends. »

And there it was, something Roman had never seen before, but that he could've caught on Patton's expression sometimes, briefly.

The pitiful glance he would've learnt to recognize.

« Oh. » was all Virgil mustered to say. He had never faced that kind of situation.

« It's the big and terrifying thing, or some envy of sorts, I'm not sure … But I still have Patton! » Roman concluded, bright as before. « And it's also why I've been eager to meet you since I got to know about you. »

Virgil tilted his head as he quickly glanced between him and the dancing couples.

« Did he tell you about me? »

« A little. He wanted it to be more of a surprise for both of us, he was as excited as I was! »

Unlike you, it seems.

Roman frowned and brushed off the clear indifference of the other, instead trying to find common ground.

« Would you like to dance? »

Virgil finally looked at him properly, but it was as though he was trying to make a tough choice, whether that was a useful option to his goal, the same way he did the first time they met. His hand moved and almost reached Roman's, but hesitation got the best of him, his eyebrows furrowed, arm almost shaking.

Roman didn't understand; what was the issue? They had danced earlier. What was so different about it now?

« I- »

They were interrupted by a swarm of people coming their way, clearing up a path for the Sun and Moon to return back to their respective places, outside of the palace.

Which meant it was time for everyone to part ways.

« … I will go. »

And just like that, he was gone.

Roman repeated the events in his mind once he got back, immediately requesting Patton's presence. Just what in the planets had he just witnessed? There was nothing of the sweetness he'd fantasized about, nothing about introducing each other like old friends, nothing of that electric buzz in your chest, the one that makes you so sure that you do belong exactly where you are.

All he felt was dread, awkwardness and uncomfortable silence, loss of words. Stupidity.

That's what he was, so ingenuous to think both of them would've been happy to find each other at last.

Had Virgil ever even cared about all of this? Did Roman simply impose his dreams on the other?

« So that I'm sure I did not hallucinate, » the star huffed, an arm over his eyes as he laid down. « I did meet him. »

« That you did. » Patton said, sounding more certain than Roman himself.

« And … »

« And? »

« It sucked. » he got up. « We barely even talked! My mind was racing and going blank from agitation and he didn't even try to interact with me, Patton. He obviously doesn't want to be my friend! He definitely thinks I'm annoying at this rate. »

« Hey there, little sparkle, slow down with the all too quick affirmations now. » Patton's form outside of the palace made him almost look like he had wings for arms. « You see, we're not all the same. You met me, and I'm very energetic and mostly aligning with your extravagant character- »

« You think I'm extravagant? » Roman let in some fake disbelief.

Patton chuckled. « In the best way possible! What I mean is, it's easy for us to get along, but Virgil is pretty much the opposite of you, which makes it a bit difficult to immediately get along. You only need to give it some more time. »

The binary-star did feel reassured with his words.

Not completely, though they made sense, yet there was always something in the back  of his mind that made him doubt those kind of words. The nebula could tell everytime Roman grimaced for seemingly no reason.

« Are you … » Roman calculated his words. Surely he didn't want to appear more doubtful than he was after his “defeat” at the ball earlier. « Are you sure it's not … »

« Roman, believe me, he'd be the last to care about the fact that you're … » he scrambled for examples. « A bigger star than the sun itself! Star systems share a deep intrinsic bond. Just go at his pace, he might only be distraught. »

« I heard someone talk about big stars. » a voice called over their shoulders. « So I couldn't help but stop by. »

A feminine body loomed before them, familiar almost spirited eyes checked Roman out from afar, until she was close enough to inspect both of them.

« Zeta. » Sirio-A called out unenthusiastically. « What brings you here? »

« Didn't see you dancing. Was wondering what kind of unforeseen event kept you from shining your true beauty upon those little kids. » they grinned. « But I see you're already hooked up. »

« Patton's always been a friend. » he replied in annoyance.

« I don't really do romances, thank you! » Patton offered right after with a bright smile.

« Oh. I apologize for assuming. » she said, before composing herself « Anyway,  I'd appreciate it if you came to chat with me and Canopus instead of running around in search of a random dude. »

Zeta Ophiuchi had always been … an eccentric type of star, basking under the knowledge that she, Roman and Canopus were the brightest ones of the night sky.

She managed to enthrall Canopus in her own thinking, since the latter showed a less strong character than her friend; Roman, though? He'd never really been eager to feed the fire of greatness.

He had come to terms with the fact that all those acts of superiority didn't matter, since nothing really changed in their hierarchy.

« Why do you guys insist on keeping your title as names instead of choosing your own? » he derailed from the conversation.

« A little nosy, aren't we today? »

« Says the one who barged in uninvited. »

Zeta chuckled. « Touché. » she sighed afterwards. « It's because we want to stay true to our origin, partly because it also gives you a grip on your essence, your reality. It's empowering, Sirius. » she put much more emphasis on Roman's title.

He hated it with a burning passion.

Zeta lowered down at his eye-level. « Don't you think? » he wanted to wipe her grin away with a single death glare.

Patton muttered a “not again” under his breath; that occasion happened at least once a month, Zeta would pick at Roman's most sensitive spots and try to get past the thick walls he placed between himself and his insecurities.

« Well it's been a nice sunset! Why don't we go before it gets too dangerous for you to stay away from Ophiuchus, Zeta? »

She stared intently at Roman for a while longer before turning to the nebula and offering a fake smile and a nod. « Of course, Seagull. »

He breathed deeply, then waved sadly at his friend as Zeta followed quickly behind.

Roman understood how she and Canopus had been admitted to the same group as his, yet at the same time he couldn't believe how he had to deal with Zeta's teasing even in the palace.

Working towards his goal was going to be harder than he thought.

✾✾✾✾

« Zeta's a bitch! » Remus abruptly commented, causing his uncle's sudden laughter. « I like her. »

Janus tried to gain his breath back. « Yeah- » he chuckled. « She's going to be rather interesting in the future. »

« Well that was quite the story. »

His eyes widened and he turned towards the entrance of the projector room: there stood a man, probably around his age, with the usual formal outfits and the museum worker plate stuck to his shirt.

« I'm so sorry I- »

« Logan! » Remus sprinted to his feet and ran up the stranger like he was an old relative he loved and hadn't seen in ages.

So that was who Remus would always mention.

Janus walked up to them, trying to hide the embarrassment behind a polite smile. « Come on duke, we should get going now. »

« But he's the star man! »

Star man? Logan thought, low-key impressed.

« There's no need to rush actually. We'll be closing the exhibit rooms in an hour, but most of us tend to stay the night. » he smiled back, then looked down at the young boy. « How do you know my name? »

« I came here two weeks ago! » Remus excitedly said. « With school! There were two of you, you were the cool one. »

Logan recalled a school class and a co-worker helping out with timing.

« We came back for my birthday, but I thought you weren't here today. Can we celebrate together now? »

Janus let out a laugh between exasperation and amusement, then looked up at the astronomer. « He's grown fond of you. » he tried to explain.

« I can see that. » Logan crouched down to converse with Remus easily. « What would you want me to do? »

Never before an occasion like that one had occurred to him, plus an offer to spend time with people with his same interests other than his colleagues, thus less programmed to spit out information in any given situation, would have definitely been a breath of fresh air.

« Let's get ice cream. » Remus turned to his uncle. « Can we? »

Janus nodded. « If Logan is able to, I don't see why not. »

And Logan could afford leaving early every once in a while, so …

« Alright then, » he stepped aside from the entrance to let them exit. « I will let them know I'll be going out. » he pointed towards the offices and left.

About half an hour later, Remus was walking around the park, doing his best not to make the ice cream fall from his cone as he inspected all the bugs and insects he could find.

« I hope we're not wasting precious time. » Janus was walking alongside Logan not too far behind from Remus.

« Not at all. I have been actually told I could have used some free time every now and then. »

« Ah, are you the stay-in-late type? »

Logan moved his head from side to side in half agreement. « Sort of. It is mostly part of our job to carry on with research. You could say my work could be divided into day and night jobs. I do not mind it a single bit, to be fair. »

« Oh! » the star stopped dead in his tracks, realization hitting him, while the astronomer looked back at him, blinking in confusion. « How rude of me. » he extended his arm to the other. « My name is Janus Hydra. »

Logan gladly shook it. « Pleasure to be here then, Janus. »

The star smiled, then they went back to walking. « And the one who's trying to catch a butterfly is my nephew Remus. » he giggled as he watched the kid almost stick his cone into a tree.

« It was very thoughtful of you to bring him to the museum for his birthday. »

« Yes, well, he wouldn't stop mentioning it day and night. It would've been rude of me not to do so. »

Logan caught an odd detail in that sentence. « You live with him? » he asked, trying to be as cautious and considerate as possible.

Janus nodded and, for the first time, he wasn't asked why. He was silently grateful for, objectively, a stranger not trying to peer into his personal life as much as others would do.

« So, what about you? I haven't seen you around my workplace, yet you seem to be knowledgeable about stars. » he thought back at the moments in which he pointed up at the constellations with impeccable precision. « Is it a simple personal passion? »

« You could say that. It's something like a family thing. As you may have noticed, my surname comes from a constellation, by which I could deduce that probably one of my ancestors decided it was going to be our legacy. »

Logan could … honestly see that.

« Very peculiar. I can imagine the- »

« L, look! » Remus ran up to them with a butterfly in his hand. « Which one is this? »

Logan cupped one hand under his. « I suggest not to take it by the wings, » with the other, he instructed Remus to drop it gently on his palm. « Touching them damages them as it removes the material on them which permits butterflies to distinguish and disguise themselves. Furthermore, your risk to damage or even completely break the wings. They're pretty fragile. » the little insect walked up to his fingertip. « Here. » he offered as he gestured for Remus to carefully let the butterfly walk on from Logan's to his hand.

« This one is a Morpho Menelaus, also known as blue morpho. »

« I read they can drink from puddles. » the kid said as he lowered the insect next to one on the ground.

« That's true, they have a varied diet. Did you know some can drink blood as well? »

Remus jumped to his feet, a wide grin on his face. « They can?! »

Logan made a diverted expression at the difference between Remus's reaction and Janus's unpleasant disbelief.

« There's a moth species in Asia with this ability, if it pleases the butterfly of course, it's rare but not undone. »

Time seemed to dilate as Remus kept asking for more facts to the “cool man who seemed to know everything”, the small talk between the latter and Janus to slowly get to know each other more and the general pleasant aura made them forget it was almost time for dinner.

« Wait. » Remus, once again, caught everyone's attention. « What about my birthday gift from Logan? »

Janus wanted to intervene, but Logan seemed way ahead of him already.

« How inconsiderate of me, you are absolutely correct, I should have prepared for this important event. » he pretended to think about it. « How about you can come to the museum whenever you want without the need of a ticket? »

Remus beamed, that was the best t-

« No. »

And his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He turned to look at his uncle with disappointment, but Janus's glance was fixed on Logan's.

« I refuse to not support your job. We will pay, like any other visitor. »

« Let's make a deal, then. You can come whenever you'd like and stay later than closing time, while I get to hear the story you were telling earlier as well. »

That was entirely unexpected. What was so charming about events he had witnessed? It didn't sit completely right with him, but who was he to deny saving money for the sake of his nephew's happiness?

Janus looked down at Remus who had assumed the “cat with the boots” adorable pleading face.

« Alright, you win this one, but I still owe you. » he warned Logan.

« Completely fine with me. »

« Are you sure it's okay to do, still? »

The astronomer had no doubts. « I will find a way, no need to worry. I'll be expecting you two tomorrow? » he asked, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the side.

The other two agreed to come say hi after Remus had been done with school and thus they parted ways.

As Janus drove home, he realized he hadn't felt the all too familiar dawning of anguish a single moment of the day.

Was that going to be the eagerly awaited turning point?

Ever since they started visiting the museum, Remus and Janus took their time to explore every room and all the documents the exhibit had to offer, which made it really effective to tire Remus out in anticipation of bedtime.

Thus, the storytelling would often get postponed, especially since they wanted Logan to also be present, though he had to run important experiments during the first few weeks. They so decided to change it from a bedtime story to “their thing”, under the faint light of a constellations projector.

A month had now passed since their first encounter, and they finally managed to all sit down together in the almost dark room.

« Here's an apology gift. » Logan pushed a box in front of Remus who immediately wrapped off the paper encasing it.

« Apology for what exactly? » Janus asked with an eyebrow raised. « You're already letting us stay here for free. » it had become like a second home at that point.

« I know, but I have been around very briefly and I had to sneak you in late to cut out some time for you. »

« We aren't expecting you to be here every single time, Logan, you work here … »

« And you're also forgiven! » Remus exclaimed showing the little glow-in-the-dark stars stickers he already couldn't wait to put up in his room.

Janus chuckled under his breath. « You still didn't have to. » he made himself comfortable against the room's wall.

« If everyone's ready, I shall begin. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman felt like Virgil had been missing for most of the sunset dances.

He hadn't caught a glimpse of him in weeks, he felt as if he had been playing hide and seek all this time; Patton told him not coming wasn't possible, like stars were literally just teleported fully dressed to the ballroom the second it begun.

He had also been pretty busy avoiding Zeta and Canopus – not that the latter was any threat to him, actually she would've been easily persuaded to not tell on his location – that time ran out before he could meet up with Virgil.

All hope had been lost as he laid against a column and turned away from the dancing couples.

And he saw Virgil, a few meters away, sitting on a marble sort of parapet like he was ready to jump on his feet and leave. He was surrounded by a lack of other stars.

« Hey there. » Roman waved from his spot and his system's partner turned to him with the quickest neck movement he'd ever seen.

He looked as tired as someone who'd been dancing around all night.

… trying to … avoid someone …

Okay, they were both tired as hell.

Virgil gave the most effortless wave he could muster.

« Haven't seen you lately. » Roman pointed out. « Still, would you sit down with me? I don't think I can handle standing a minute longer. »

« I concur. » Virgil responded, grateful.

They slid down to the floor in almost perfect synchrony, simply watching what was going on before them: Roman was able to catch Patton's eyes and smile at him.

« Remember when you said I'm not a good judge of what is and isn't a friendship? »

« Didn't phrase it like that, but sure. »

« Does someone who's constantly bothering you and generally poke at your limits seem like a friend? »

Virgil took a silent but deeper look at the other and noted in his mind how exasperated he sounded.

« That sounds more like someone's been annoying you non-stop. That's … not exactly friendship either. »

Roman sighed, trying not to spiral into hysteria by the end of the night; he could hear Zeta's imposing voice in every corner he tried to escape.

How to break into silence?

« What do you think about going to the balcony? »

Virgil didn't hate the idea, but worry got the best of him. « Isn't that section of the palace reserved to the Sun and Moon only? »

His acquaintance displayed a mischievous smile. « Not if we get back before anyone notices. » he pulled himself to his feet, offering his hand to the other confidently.

Virgil couldn't help but take it and venture into unexplored areas; the hallways decorations were pretty much the same, if not less sumptuous, of the ballroom. He watched as Roman pushed glass doors open and revealed a terrace with a view of the Earth's sunrise on the sky above them.

They must have been on the Sun's wing. He felt suddenly more agitated about his presence there.

« Finally, » Roman took large steps to the parapet and leaned on it, closing his eyes to the gentle breeze caressing his hair. « A moment of silence. »

Virgil mimicked him. « I hadn't felt this peaceful nothingness in a long while. »

The other opened one eye to give him a sideways look. « You have visitors? »

« People have been fussing over me for some reason ever since we made our debut here. »

That explained the ever tired look, the staying behind as stars danced and had fun, and especially the unwanted attention.

« They say they find me cute or whatever, only because I'm the smaller star in the binary system. It's … really annoying. Kind of offensive, if I can say. »

« Here we are, » Roman chuckled to himself. « Both socially exhausted because everybody's patronizing you, while I'm being picked at constantly. »

« It's our system's fatal flaw. » Virgil confessed dramatically, which made the other snort, surprised by the sudden burst of confidence with joking around him.

They spent some more minutes in silence, the music from the ballroom was barely audible, like they were slowly being taken away.

Neither of their situations were desirable, but Roman really could've used some positive attention every once in a while, instead of laying in the dreadful awaiting of being ridiculed, as whoever else passed by him tried not to make eye contact.

He didn't realize he had progressively lowered his head to rest on the parapet's rail, his eyes half-lidded. He dared to take a quick glance at Virgil, standing tall as he observed the morning sky: every movement of his purple irises looked like a stroke of a brush on an expensive painting.

There, he looked much bigger than the universe they were in, some sort of irony against his usual small perception, which caused other stars to nickname him as “the pup”.

Roman's face portrayed an amused smile as he imagined Virgil being one of Earth's small dogs he had been told about.

It quickly faltered though, as soon as he shook the thought away, the sorrowful reality of his loneliness hit him and he couldn't stop himself from murmuring his belief to the sunrise.

« I really have only one friend, huh? »

The quiet around made it possible for Virgil to hear clearly, so he turned and looked at him from above, pondering whether or not it was appropriate of him to console Roman in some way.

At the end of the day, they really were alike, as distinct as they still could appear.

« You can have me? Two isn't much higher than one, but it isn't as bad. »

Roman averted the sky to disperse his bewilderment directly into Virgil's eyes, all fluttery eyelids and raised eyebrows.

« That would be so much better. » Virgil was glad to be the cause of his smile for once. « Thank you, Virgil. »

« You can call me Virge. »

Roman started cooing mockingly. « Aw, you're opening up to me. »

« And already regretting it, thank you very much. »

The other genuinely laughed and his expression softened, letting silence set one more veil above them.

« I wish I could visit you. » Roman then said after admiring the landscape. « We'd make sleepovers along with Patton- »

« Stars don't sleep. »

Oh, damn it. They had gotten so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the music fading out completely.

As they turned, they noticed Emile at the entrance of the terrace, a warm expression set on his face, some sort of understanding as he had his arms folded over himself and sparkles of light all around.

He wasn't hostile, yet he knew they didn't belong there. Still, he wasn't one to reprimand.

« You should hurry back, friends. » he suggested, leaving one of the two doors free for them to pass through.

The two quickly made their way towards the hallway, but for Virgil it felt like an eternity: the moment he locked eyes with the Sun, it was as though his body refused to acknowledge its own movements. He didn't realize Roman had been tugging him by the sleeve as Virgil walked right past Emile, never leaving his glance.

Roman turned back to him as they half-ran towards the ballroom, noticing Virgil still hadn't turned his head from the balcony's entrance.

« Are you alright? »

« Huh? » Virgil quickly moved to look forward and find Roman's curious face.

The bigger star noticed the glimmering lights on his cheeks: a common feature which meant a star was happy or feeling intense emotions.

He saw Roman furrow his eyes, like he was trying to connect the dots, but rapidly ignoring it as they had made their way through the ballroom.

This time, Roman had a different tale to tell Patton.

✾✾✾✾

« So- uh? »

As Janus had been stroking Remus's hair absentmindedly, he hadn't realized the kid's breath had been slowing down to an evenly repeated movement: as he looked down, he saw his nephew biting through his glove in his sleep.

« It really sounds like an effective bedtime story. » Logan commented as Janus carefully placed Remus's head on his shoulder. He helped him stand up without losing balance and they quietly made their way towards the exit and, subsequently, Janus's car as, like Logan said, “it was the least he could do for them that night”.

« Are you going to go back in? » Janus whispered as he kept an eye on the backseat of his car.

Logan checked his watch, noticing time had flown by rather quickly, no wonder the kid had already fallen asleep. « I think so, yes. »

« Okay. » the other nodded. « Don't stay too late, Remus is not the only one who needs sleep. »

« I am fully aware of what a healthy circadian rhythm consists of. » he threw in a slight, non-harmful piece of sarcasm in his voice.

« Oh, I know you do. I was just making sure you knew you aren't elected to ignore it either way. »

Logan was delighted by the atmosphere: it was always pleasant to realize the exact moment in which you got closer to someone, the caring feeling hidden under friendly banter.

He was glad someone was looking out for him in that way.

« I'll theorize about what's going to happen next in your tale to help myself, then. »

« Hey, » Janus pointed towards him. « Don't you dare use that excuse to stay up later, though. »

« Will not do. » Logan chuckled. « Seriously, though, you needn't worry. »

« Fine. » he said, realizing that maybe his “mother-hen” senses had been activated the moment his nephew had fallen asleep.

He looked back at his little duke, and took a step backward, moving to his car.

« Well- »

Janus raised his arm to wave, but was interrupted by his friend's sudden words.

« I was thinking, » Logan was tapping his fingertips together before stopping altogether and making eye contact, like he had forgotten what he was doing. « If you'd like to and if you have time, we could hang out? It doesn't always have to be my workplace, or be a rushed thing. »

« That would be lovely! I can't really leave Remus alone nowadays and I always work when he's at school, as I imagine you do as well, but you could definitely come visit when you're off. »

Both of them were thrilled of the thought of spending quality time with each other for once.

« Oh, right. I could pick you up from work and you could have dinner with us! »

« Sounds excellent. » Logan moved slightly and a speck of street light hit part of his face, lighting up one of his eyes.

It was there that it was clear how the dark of the night made everything seem more mysterious and grim.

They waved each other goodbye, deciding to agree upon the day of their meeting via text.

Janus heard Remus shuffle in his seat, he was gripping tightly at the door's handle.

The moment he looked back ahead of himself he noticed an unusual glimmering under his eyes: he quickly checked on the rear-view mirror, finding the same sparkles he had described in his story.

He in-took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever was going to come in the future, while all he could think about were sharp looks and a poised personality.

That sure as the sky was going to be interesting to witness.

For example, it was deeply interesting when he received a call from Logan, the latter insisting he couldn't be able to sleep; the sound of the phone ringing had also woken Remus up, whom unceremoniously plopped onto his uncle's bed right beside him as soon as he heard Logan's voice.

Now he had two restless kids to put to sleep.

« This isn't an excuse for both of you to stay up later is it? »

« I wanted to talk to Logan too! »

« And I forgot to get melatonin on my way to work. »

After arguing to get him to make a physical note to leave on his table for the morning after, Janus allowed the man to stay on the line and Remus to get comfortable under the covers, while only the bedside table lamp was on.

✾✾✾✾

The terrace scene had replayed in Virgil's head for weeks.

Ever since the start, his goal had been the one to be able to reach the Sun, the one childhood hero he had grown to love, now he had him at his fingertips and yet, he was still so distant.

He danced with strangers to gain courage to get as close as possible to him, but he couldn't find it to touch his hand, let alone when he had to speak a single word to him.

The Sun seemed kind-hearted, he was for sure as well, he knew he wouldn't have been the target of insults for his deep admiration.

Despite all of this, he was still scared.

He was going to explode if he didn't speak up about it anytime soon.

« Are you alright? »

That question again, while the same thoughts circled in his mind, ones he couldn't keep in anymore.

« I think I'm in love with him. »

Roman battered his eyes. He had been spending most of the dance time with him, venting to each other about whoever came to visit or simply relaxing in the quietest spot they were allowed to reach.

They hadn't danced together once yet.

« Care to explain further? »

How could he when he couldn't even say his name?

« The sun. » Virgil hardly let out any voice. « I just- » he felt all the tension wash away as he looked into Roman's red irises, willing to gather more knowledge on the situation. « I'm happy to come here only because I have a chance to see him, but every single time someone else sweeps him away before I can even reach him. »

That would've been Remy, Roman thought.

« And even if I had the opportunity … I couldn't take it. It's stronger than me and it's eating me alive at the same time. » his breath was heavy with emotion.

Roman made space to a new feeling as well. There was only one way he could explain it.

Daggers.

Daggers piercing through your chest and stomach, multiple of them slowly and attentively burning holes in every vital organ, becoming sharper the longer Roman breathed through it.

It was because of empathy, right? He felt awful for Virgil's incapacity to interacting with the one he loved.

So why would the thought of helping him deepen the sharpness of those knives?

« I just … need to at least talk about it with someone. I only ever really have this opportunity with you and then again, staying alone with my thoughts- »

« It makes you want to scream. »

Roman wanted to yell the pain away.

« Like your organs are contorting … »

And twisting and looking for a way out of your body.

« … And your heart is in your throat, trying its best to escape. »

Virgil nodded, an aching expression displayed on his face.

« Why don't you just go? Next time, you just throw yourself in. Be yourself. It's always what they tell you to do. Let it happen, be natural and respect his boundaries. A path will slowly be open to you. »

What was he doing?

Virgil let the information sink in and, slowly, that pained face transformed into a warm smile.

That. That's what I'm doing. That's what I always want to do.

It was also how they tended to spend the sunset and sunrise dances ever since; Roman would sit down with Virgil in the corner and psych him up for him to be able to, eventually, open up to the opportunity of meeting Emile for real.

And, at the same time, he watched himself struggle and fall down, masking himself for the sake of the other.

On a particular night, he was walking away from the room alone, a myriad of thoughts surrounding his mind.

He didn't even have what he wanted.

« No, I do. » he retorted to himself, stopping dead in his tracks.

Virgil was his friend, that's all he had ever wanted ever since he found out about his existence, so why was it just not enough yet? Why was it so doleful, the idea of the friend he craved being so happy with someone else?

Why couldn't it just admit his emotions to himself? Why was there always a wall between him and how he felt?

« Would you please like to get moving? » he felt a hand push him from his back and the sight of Zeta and Canopus at her side obscured his mind from whatever he was thinking.

He didn't react much other than get to walking again, everything would've been fine, to some extent, if he didn't hear her whisper to her friend about how she was going to stop at Sirius's star before.

Anxiety surged in his stomach, up to his stomach, pumping his heart more than needed.

« You've been distraught. » she announced as they landed on his star. « What's up? »

« You think I'd tell you? »

« Why do you have anyone else to say that to? »

Roman looked down: as much as he hated to admit it, she was right.

« That still doesn't mean I suddenly want to open up to you. »

« Sirius, come on, you think you'll ever get the chance to do so with that little kid? »

« His name is Virgil. » he growled.

She tilted her head, mouth open. « Protective aren't we? » he clicked her tongue three times. « Not good, Sirius, not good. As I was saying, you'll never have the chance to talk with anyone but me and Canopus. »

Shut up.

« Patton won't be able to be here for you forever. »

Shut up.

« And everybody knows how Sirius B's star is slowly dying- »

« Can you stop for once in your life?! »

Zeta watched as Roman put his hands on his ears, eyes wide with panic, his entire body was trembling as he sat down, his sadness finally hitting him. Tears welled in his ruby eyes as too many concerns formed inside him.

« Don't talk about him. » he managed to say through the sobs. « Don't mention him, in any way, I don't want you to even think about him. »

Zeta arched an eyebrow and stepped closer, offended by the sudden burst. « You really need to own up to your true title and stop hanging around the pathetic ones. »

She walked away from him, until yelling took her by surprise.

« I love him! » Roman admitted, pulling his arms away from his eyes, his face reddened and wet with sorrow. « Are you happy?! I love him and he definitely doesn't. »

He looked down and all he saw was opaque misery.

« Well of course he doesn't. » she spat, turning back to give him one last disgusted glance. « Look at yourself. »

The last dagger.

Roman collapsed and let out all his anguish.

Yet again, he was going to find himself left behind, alone in his shuddersome melancholy.

And no one else had to know.

✾✾✾✾

There was a beat of silence.

« Uncle, how am I going to sleep after all of that? »

Janus grinned mischievously. « I like to torture my readers. » then he picked up the phone again and whispered. « But listen. »

Nothing more than a slow breathing came from the other end.

« Want to say goodnight? »

Remus nodded vigorously. « Night Lol! » he then watched as Janus hung up. « Is Roman going to be okay? »

Janus shrugged. « Maybe. »

« I'm going to kick you off the bed. »

« I'd tease you more but I recognize you're actually able to do that. »

« Good. » Remus smiled and eventually tucked himself further in bed, ready for a good night's sleep. And maybe some chaos in the middle of it, but it wasn't like his uncle had to know.

On a fortunate weekend, Janus and Remus were finally driving back to their apartment with a new component of their little group. Logan was contentedly sitting in the passenger seat, ready for another one of the peculiar nights around who became in no time two of his favorite people.

As he made his way through the porch, he noticed how Remus had wanted to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars on every single apartment wall. In fact, he had told the astronomer how sometimes he would convince his uncle to have a sleepover in different rooms.

« Imagine sleeping in the kitchen and waking up to breakfast ready! »

« That literally already happens, I always cook you something before you wake up. And don't think I don't notice those midnight snacks. »

The dinner went by nicely, Logan had settled in quickly, like he had always belonged there: he helped with food and to hinder Remus whenever it was extremely needed, or at least keep him company while he played as Janus was busy in the kitchen.

Having Logan around felt like the most normal thing ever and Janus was grateful to have a friendship like his.

Before he knew it, the sparkles were back. He fought them away as he called the other two, trying to keep himself through the entire meal, but it was absolutely impossible as he kept laughing and smiling thanks to someone so dashingly-

Hold up. Back on track.

You're supposed to fight it back, not welcome it, you dumbass.

Remus lost interest in the TV show he was following and left the room to go play with his toys once he had finished eating, taking some ice cream with him.

In the middle of a conversation, Janus absentmindedly rubbed at his cheek, not noticing he had taken off some of the makeup he meticulously had put on before he left home.

Someone else noticed, of course.

« Oh- You have- Hang on. » Logan bent over the table, thinking an eyelash had fallen on Janus's cheek, though when he noticed it didn't fall off, rather it expanded, he arched his eyebrows and sat back, looking at the makeup residue on his fingertips.

Janus's heart had skipped multiple beats since then. What was he supposed to say now?

« I would never pry, but, is everything alright? »

Seeing the genuine concern and care behind Logan's glasses, he convinced himself it was time for him to learn the story behind him.

Not every single detail … as he would've never believed him.

« It's … kind of a long story. » he began, folding his hands together on the table. « Remus's mother, she was my sister. She had married this man, Clyde Davis. »

« The therapist? »

« You know him? » the world surely was very little.

« Not personally. » his doctor had suggested him as he was also a psychiatrist, to help with his sleep issues.

« Well, they were together for a few years, then they had Remus and everything was going splendidly. » his glance moved from his hands to Remus playing in the other room. « Until my sister fell ill. It didn't take too long for it to consume her … I was already staying by their side pretty much daily, supporting them. » he sighed deeply and passed a hand on his face. « When she passed away, it also didn't take long before Clyde decided to start a new life … without Remus. »

« He … passed him onto you? Just like that? » Logan was bewildered negatively.

« Yes. He said we reminded him too much of her and he couldn't stay in that kind of environment anymore. »

« I understand the decision, but, and pardon my french, that is what they call a “dick move”. »

Janus couldn't help but giggle at that. « Yeah, I can't believe I used to be in love with him. »

Wait.

Wait.

Earthlings, Janus, you fool!

That was it, he ruined automatically whatever he had created with Logan with a single sentence because he forgot the humans' moral compass.

Right before he could spiral, he felt a hand on his and, when he looked up, he saw his friend's reassuring expression.

« It's okay. Sometimes we love people who hurt us, it can happen and we cannot control what our heart dictates. »

Janus blinked multiple times, then couldn't bare his stare anymore and looked down again. Then at their joined hands.

He took another breath. « Remus and I were perfectly fine by ourselves, dare I say Remus's presence lit up my days more than I did his. Then one day he appeared on my doorstep and it took all I had in myself to not slam the door right on his face. He insisted he had left something behind and decided to retrieve it after two years. Needless to say … he made me very upset. »

He scrunched his face for a second.

« I had a knife in my hand … and, well, I accidentally injured myself while trying to prove a point. » he wiped further at his cheek and part of his eyebrow and forehead. « Thankfully it wasn't as deep as it seemed. »

« I'm really sorry all of that happened. » Logan grimaced. « I would gladly teach him a lesson if he ever comes in my sight. »

Janus snorted. « Will you tell him about Runaway stars? »

« I hate and love that sentence at the same time, but as much as it would be the most intently ironic topic ever, I do have mediocre experience in explaining about how to raise a child in an healthy environment. »

He nodded. « Yes, that would be an incredibly helpful topic. »

« For future reference, of course. »

« Ah yes, not like he ever needed that in the past. » Janus had waited for this kind of conversation to happen with someone for ages.

« I'm glad you told me when you didn't have to. » Logan eventually confessed. « I imagined something like this had happened, but I preferred you were the one to brush the subject first. »

Janus had always been grateful for that. « You're the first and only one so far. » they both smiled at that. « But yes, I just didn't want you to worry about this. » he said, pointing to his scar.

Logan didn't exactly control his next words. « Not that I can not worry for you nonetheless. »

No, don't do that to me.

« Sometimes it's like … I wished I could stay longer. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I like being around to help the two of you, be it with chores or having fun. Instead I keep rushing back and forth from home to work lately. »

Janus bit the inside of his cheek. « You're always welcome here if you want to distract yourself. Just be sure to take care properly. »

« I know I should. I never seem to have enough time in a day. »

« Then let us. » Janus started grinning and laid back against his seat. « Remus makes a killer combination of ice cream and we know all the best TV shows, I'm fairly sure you have a similar taste to mine. Oh my, I can't imagine you with a face mask- »

« Please spare me. » Logan pretended to be scared for his life as the other couldn't contain his laughter anymore.

« It's too late. The plan is already in motion. »

Their conversation derailed until wine settled in to make everything more light hearted.

Remus ventured in the room around 10, announcing he was tired by letting half of his body rest on top of his uncle's legs. He carried him towards his bed and, that time, both Logan and Janus had sat down next to him for the night's storytelling.

✾✾✾✾

« Gosh, this really is harder than it originally sounded like. » Patton had been rubbing Roman's back for the past minutes as he had lost all the energy to dance after the previous week's realization.

Dare he say, he was actually trying to avoid Virgil in any kind of way. His absence would've probably helped him far more to finally approach Emile, anyway. He was just helping him further, wasn't he?

« I feel awful. » the nebula admitted, a sour taste in his mouth. « One-sided feelings are difficult to accept, though not impossible to overcome. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel better with time, Ro. I assure you. »

« You're right, it sounds stupid. » he had never heard his voice so low.

Patton smiled sadly. « I know. But I do feel like, instead of inconveniencing yourself further, you should spend as much time as you are allowed to with him. » he looked back at him. «  And none says Emile automatically reciprocates. »

« Don't get my hopes up. »

« I was just saying. » Patton used his sing-song voice, the one that never failed to make Roman smile. « Either way, I'll always be here to be your moral support. »

« Believe me, you'll also always be a far better moral support than Zeta. »

« She isn't the best in that department. »

Both Patton and Roman looked up and the latter found Canopus sitting next to him.

« She thinks she looks out for people. She has good intentions, but she's still a little confused on her methods. » it was usual of her to defend Zeta, but Roman was glad she shared nothing of Ophiuchus' star's attitude.

« I think she should understand not every single one of us is under her supervision. »

Canopus nodded, lying against the column which was lining up perfectly with her back.

« Why has she left you alone? » Roman didn't mind her, she was actually one of the kindest stars he knew, but seeing her by herself made him skeptical.

« Did she hurt you? We would stand by your side in case! »

Canopus giggled and put up her hands. « It's okay. No, she's … talking to someone. » she pointed to Roman. « Your co-star? Virgil? »

That was the last straw-

« Don't you dare. » Patton pulled Roman back down on his seat, though the other was fuming with rage already. « Canopus, dear, why would Zeta converse with Virgil without you? »

« She said she needs to ask him a question. A rather personal question, something she didn't want me to know, I guess. » she looked into Roman's eyes with determination. « She vowed to never lie to me many, many years back. I'm sure she isn't saying anything about you. You know how she's all for honor, I don't think she would tell on you like that. »

As much as Zeta's ways had always been pretty drastic, Roman believed her, though the curiosity of what she might have been asking was eating him away.

More than being curious, for Virgil the experience was dreadful.

You suddenly saw one of the biggest stars in the room come up to you and ask about your feelings, like everyone in the room could've read you easily.

« This is going to sound weird. » she declared as she took Virgil's hand when they exchanged dancing partners. « But I need to know this out of you. Do you by any chance nurture any kind of romantic feelings towards Sirius A? »

Virgil felt dumbfounded. « No. » he quickly said, quicker than needed. « I do not. » he added, trying to mimic her poised nature.

« So, if there ever was another potential lover, you'd think the path would be clear for them? »

Was that hope in her voice? The tiniest tremble in a heated room.

« I definitely think so. » she glanced back in a direction unknown to Virgil.

« Thank you. » she whispered before disappearing back in the crowd; he stepped away from it, finding easily Emile's bright figure dancing and smiling like it was the first time with some stars unknown to him.

« Isn't he beautiful? »

Damn. That really was the richest night he had, huh?

Right next to him stood the Moon themselves; Remy was holding their glasses, letting their gleaming silver eyes rest for a while.

« Truly. » he agreed, letting the softness take him away.

« I couldn't ask for a more amazing dance partner every night. » Virgil wished he could share a piece of their happiness.

« I can only imagine. » he looked down, gaze fixed onto the Sun.

Remy titled their head. « You haven't danced with him yet? »

Virgil shook his head no and bite his lip. He so wished to do so.

« Then fear not, sweetie, I got your back. » they put back their sunglasses and carefully led Virgil to dance in swirls around the room, so that his next partner would have been Emile for sure.

« It's an experience to try. He's like, the most magnificent star I've ever met. »

« I know. » Virgil's tone was now more dreamy. « I've seen him everyday in front of me, I've been hoping to interact with him ever since I was little. »

« That sounds adorable, darling. Your wish is my command, humans use to wish upon stars, but it's truly only the Moon that hears them and guides them through their path. »

Remy noticed they were close to the partner change.

« One last question. What's your title? »

« Sirius B. I'm part of a binary star-system. » Virgil felt Remy's grip loosen on his hand and, slowly, he was let to someone else.

« Good luck, Virgil. »

Remy's nod was the last thing he saw before turning and finding Emile smiling down at him.

As for the Moon, he found himself dancing with Patton. « Ah! My favorite Nebula! »

« Hello Remy. » Patton giggled at Remy's extra antics. « I see you were talking to Virgil. »

« Yeah, the guy was totally scared. Like, girl, I know I'm a big deal, but you're starting to make me feel like royalty, that's going to feed my ego. » they let out a laugh, but composed themselves rather rapidly. « Say, he told me something that kind of left me perplexed. »

Oh, no.

Patton feared Virgil had disclosed his feelings, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been so ingenuous to reveal them to the Moon, of all presents.

« He seemed to express deep admiration for Emile. » was it really what he was thinking? « But he said he's in front of him? Like a childhood kind of admiration, you know? Someone you look up to ever since you're born. Weird, because last time I checked, Sirius B is in front of Sirius A. »

« Hold on. » Patton's eyes widened and the couple stopped in the middle of the room. « Are you telling me he hasn't been praising the Sun just because of all the stories about him, but because he has mistaken it for Roman? »

« Seems so. I wanted to let you know, in case there had been a misunderstanding. »

« Oh my gosh, Remy! » Patton pulled both of them out of the crowd. « That is fantastic news! »

« It is? Did I do a good job? Have I earned a gold star? » Remy smirked as the nebula laughed his heart out between his excitement and the pun.

They reached Roman in no time, who had decided to sit by himself during the entire night.

« You're not going to believe this, Ro! »

Patton took Roman's hands in his and smiled brightly as he narrated everything that had just happened with Remy's assistance when it came to what exactly happened between him and Virgil.

Despite now realizing that Virgil's feelings should have been directed at him, Roman's expression didn't differ.

« You do know that changes nothing, right? »

Patton's face fell. « Wh- »

« Pat, listen. Even if he'd mistaken his feelings for the wrong person, Virgil has still developed feelings for Emile, not for me. He isn't going to direct them towards me only because of a tiny mistake, it isn't how they work. »

Remy leaned over Patton. « Uh, I'm going to let you guys work this out, not because I'm jealous or whatever, promise. I don't wanna intrude. Hope you figure it out. » then they spared one last look for Roman. « But dude, why not tell him? He's still your friend, and he has only just met Emile, after feeding off of a false image of him. » then, the Moon shrugged. « But you do you, sir. Have a nice rest of the night. » with that, they disappeared.

« I won't force you, Ro. But do know that I support you. »

Roman didn't feel like having the same sharp daggers through his stomach again, yet a huge part of him was pulling him to his feet. With no other word, he let himself between the dancing couples.

And, of course, in no time he clasped hands with Zeta.

« Here for another lecture? »

« No, not tonight. »

Roman scoffed. « I thank you for blessing me. »

Silence fell between them as Roman caught sight of Virgil and the Sun. And their happiness. And how he had never made him smile so wide, how he had never made his eyes glimmer like that, how he hadn't gotten a single sparkle out of his cheeks the way he had had it on for the entirety of his dance with Emile.

Feeling under motivated, he looked away, deciding against intervening. Who was he to break his little dream?

Virgil really had been living his dream.

But everybody knows sometimes dreams tend to turn into nightmares.

« I'm glad I get to inspire the younger ones. » Emile made dancing feel natural. « Though I must ask you something as well, after seeing such adoration. » he looked in Virgil's eyes deeply. « Are you being true to yourself and honest with your feelings, Virgil? »

Agitation grew into him. « W-what would that mean? » he stuttered, his cover already blown.

« You don't have to lie about what you feel only because you fear the outcome. You already know that star in front of you is not me but it's Roman, you've known all along but you've masked it with me so Roman would have backed away thinking his interest was one sided. »

Virgil had never felt more read through in his entire life, like he had had the truth plastered on his face the entire time.

The guilt in his eyes told Emile he was spot on.

« Why is that so, little one? »

« Everybody knows what happens when two stars of a system collide they either become a single bigger star, or produce a black hole. » Virgil looked down. « I … I feared the outcome of our relationship. I figured if I made him step away, nothing like that would've happened. I didn't want to risk it. »

The Sun frowned. « You were ready to give up both of your happiness? »

« For the sake of potentially every star in this room? Yes. » he could taste his own sour words. « Nothing else matters. »

« Let me tell you something, Virgil. » Emile pulled them away from the crowd of dancers. « Usually, a black hole happens when there's a series of star collisions. A single star collision tends to merge the two stars into a supernova explosion. And yes, it is said that only one of the two will survive ultimately, but actually what survives is a mixture of the two. We call this a luminous red nova. This will only happen if your binary system ever experiences orbital decay. » Emil put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. « If you are careful about how you move and only meet during the sunrise and sunset dances, you're absolutely safe. Believe me. Okay? »

Virgil blinked a few times before stopping to bit his cheek and finally let a genuine smile creep on his face. « I do. I believe you. » he took a deep shaky breath, finally devoid of all the concerns in his mind. « Thank you. »

« Don't mention it, little one. Now, make me proud and go t- »

The Sun got interrupted by a loud crashing sound, like the sky had just broken up and started falling from the ceiling.

The two immediately looked behind themselves to find the most terrifying picture: every single star but one had been blown away, fallen to their feet as the only standing one started having a red aura around them. The luminous shade seemed to only grow wider and … warmer.

« Oh, Jupiter. This is not good. » Emile said as Virgil noticed Roman a few feet away from the standing star, staring wide eyed at them.

« What? What's going on? »

« It's Zeta Ophiuchi. » Emile slowly turned to Virgil, terror in his eyes. « It's turning into a Runaway star. »

✾✾✾✾

« So, what astronomers hypothesized up until now is that Zeta Ophiuchi had been previously part of a binary system itself, but its partner had exploded into a supernova, hurling Zeta at a very high speed through space. This is why they're called runaway stars. » Logan explained to Remus as he had been confused by the dramatic cliffhanger; he then turned to Janus. « That is fairly a very interesting way of portraying the beginning of a runaway star. I wonder what Roman had said to cause her to have that reaction. »

« Oh! I know! He rejected her. »

« Damn, » Janus furrowed his eyes at Remus. « You really don't like leaving some suspense here and there. »

« This is repay for when you told me you didn't know whether Roman was going to be okay. And he sure as hell doesn't sound okay now. »

Janus tucked his nephew into bed. « How about you sleep, you stinky little rat king? »

Remus whined. « You know that's my favorite nickname! I can't help but comply. » he suddenly lifted his hands. « Take me, arms of Orpheus. »

« It's Morpheus. » Logan pointed out.

« You're all boring. » he turned to the other side and, after half an hour, he gave out to his tiredness.

Ever since then, Logan started visiting whenever he could between shifts and free work days, sometimes he would stay for dinner, other times they would all watch movies together. Mostly Logan realized how he much had caught them in his heart and wanted to help around as much as it was possible for him.

Especially since that one other rather emotional night – again, in vino veritas – in which Janus had told him how hard it was to do everything on his own.

He obviously hadn't meant to ask Logan to do everything for him, but it was also a pretty important call for assistance and the astronomer was more than happy to fulfill the position.

« I apologize, » Janus had called from the hallway one evening. « Remus is having some trouble tonight, I'll be back in a minute, you can start watching anything if you'd like. »

It had been fairly twenty minutes since Janus had disappeared behind Remus's door: Logan couldn't help but be concerned, thus he got up, intending on asking whether some help was needed.

His purpose hadn't been to eavesdrop initially, really.

« Virgil had told Anguis that her stories were delightful, » Janus had told Remus as he stroked his hair. Remus's eyes were red and puffy. « He told her she should've pursued her dream and come to Earth to tell humans our adventures around space. He was the one to finally convince her, you know? She shined brighter than I had ever seen her. I was so happy she had made that choice. »

« I still am. I'm very glad we came to Earth. Even after everything that has happened, I couldn't imagine living million of years running through space without you. Without Logan. I'm happy to have fallen down here rather than be up there. »

« I still miss some stars, I miss Roman and Virgil very dearly … I had barely a chance to meet the others, but … I don't regret leaving them behind for this. »

Remus only stared at him, but seemed to nod and ultimately hug Janus tightly.

Logan couldn't make out what they murmured to each other, especially as he got lost in his thoughts.

So there were others?

« Oh- » he didn't notice Janus coming out of the room right after. « Oh f- Uh, how much did you hear? »

« Enough, I think. » Logan was still zoned out, which made him seem like he was completely uncaring.

« Well, uhm, you know how … stories you tell kids am I right? You pretend- »

« I'm an astronomer, Janus, » Logan begun, focusing on the other's eyes. « I know a lot about stars. I've seen you and Remus's faces literally light up. I also know stars can be people, you don't have to lie to me. » his tone was soothing, he still couldn't believe he had met another one. « I met one of you before, his name is Thomas. Thomas Sanders, to be specific. »

Janus's eyes widened. « The- The actor? »

« Exactly. I helped him out when he fell – right behind my house, to his luck – and as of now, we grew apart since he has been profoundly busy. We are still in contact, though. We actually meet up from time to time. »

« That … » Janus's expression was priceless, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. « I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Logan loved it so much.

« Thomas is writing a movie script as of now. He's given one of the characters my name. »

« You. » Janus pulled Logan away from the hallway. « Are, as of now, the coolest human being of my knowledge. »

They sat down on the couch, letting the TV show be their background noise.

« Why, I'm rather flattered. »

« Okay. » Janus took the glass of wine he had left on the table earlier, before taking a small sip out of it. « I'm ready. »

« For? »

« My actual life story. »

Logan tilted his head and laid back, ready to let the other talk. It had already been a stressful night, why not stay on theme?

« My sister and I were formerly two shooting stars. We used to travel through space and meet a wide range of stars, galaxies and planets. It was wonderful. Then we fell on Earth by choice. We quickly adapted to its customs somehow. Anguis and I met Clyde, they fell in love and I put my feelings aside in their favor, since … I heard my love isn't exactly condoned here. » he took another sip.

« When I told you she fell ill, it was actually her star self shutting down. She ultimately became stardust under our very own eyes. Clyde feared Remus and I would end up the same way, since even my nephew's part star. And then we were left alone. » he opened his arms. « I hope this tale entertained you as well. »

Logan didn't say anything before surging forward and taking Janus in a tight embrace. He wasn't intending on letting go anytime soon, especially when he felt his friend's sobs on his shoulder.

« What if it really happens? W-what if I lose Remus in the span of a week? I couldn't bear it. »

« What if you don't? What if he spends a wonderful fulfilling life thanks to the possibilities you're offering him? What if you get to see him grow old and spend all your last moments knowledgeable that he is happy thanks to you? Because never in your life the thought of abandoning him ever crossed your mind. »

Logan tightened his hug. « You are a spectacular guardian, Janus. Take it from someone who knows how it feels to be neglected. You have nothing to fear, and it's normal to feel doubtful every now and then. » he loosened it after, so he could look him in the eyes. « Whatever happens, you can face it like you have always done. Okay? »

Janus nodded and muttered a low okay, right after he almost didn't register Logan giving him a forehead kiss.

« I hope you will feel more free to tell me anything that bothers you, now that I know. »

« You're the only one I can turn to. » Janus smiled sadly, averting his eyes.

« Well then, » he took his hands and guided him on his feet. « I am honored to be at your service. Come, now. »

Logan took him to his bedroom so he could rest sooner, but as he helped him lay down, he felt something tug at his shirt. He turned and saw Janus's fingers laced on the fabric.

« Could you stay? » he drowsily asked, his voice barely audible like he was afraid to talk any louder, or at all.

Logan smiled softly and nodded; he proceeded to close the front door and turn off the lights for him. Afterwards, he laid next to the other and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

He was confused.

Had he always felt attracted by him because of the star's pull, or were his feelings lying to him? Why did he care so much? Why did he want to do anything in his power to ease their lives?

Why hadn't he stopped to caress Janus's face and look at him as soon as he'd fallen asleep? Why would he rather have him in his arms like before?

He wanted to hold his hand longer, let him know he was there in case he had a nightmare.

Still, Janus had simply asked him to stay.

That he was going to do.

After that night, Logan had chosen to give Janus some more space. A few days had passed when he received a very welcome message from one of his acquaintances.

He was quick to text Janus about it as well: Thomas had just asked him if they could meet up that week, which would've been the perfect time for them to meet as well.

They could have also shared their experiences and get other stuff off of their chests, stuff only both of them would understand. Plus he was sure it would've been nice to have someone like you to talk to for instance.

Not even a minute after, Janus wrote back to him, talking about how excited he would've been to meet up with them as well.

It all led to one particular afternoon at a café, Logan had just introduced Janus and Remus to Thomas, who they found out used to be a very small galaxy on the brink of  crashing and becoming a black hole. He lost all of his stars, but at least he saved himself.

He confessed he had a freckled pattern of them on his back.

It didn't surprise him how they clicked immediately.

Thomas talked about his project, this movie where he would talk to different aspects of his personality and work through issues about himself and grow as a person.

« The funniest bit about this is that I'm not human, thus I experienced the most childish dilemmas at an old age. » as Thomas chuckled, Janus was sure he had seen the galaxy's stars in his eyes twinkle as well.

« But enough about me, Logan told me you tell wonderful stories! » Thomas's eyes lit up immediately. « I also asked him a bit about you in general, and honestly dude. You give me major Disney villain vibes. »

Janus put a hand on his chest. « Why, thank you. »

Thomas chuckled. « I was thinking, would you like to contribute to a character I have in mind? He's pretty complex and I have a feeling your thinking would suit him amazingly. »

« Oh. » Janus's mouth hung open. « I … I don't know what to say- »

« Yes! Say yes, I want my character too! Can I have one? » Remus jumped out from his seat and leaned over Thomas as the other man giggled. « I want something gross! »

« I like your unusual thinking, kiddo. » Thomas rested his chin on his hand. « I do have an idea for a character correlated to intrusive thoughts … What's your favorite color, Remus? »

« Green! »

The former galaxy pulled out a notebook from his bag, taking down everything he had just learnt. « I can work with that. »

« Hey uncle, you think we could add Roman and Virgil too? Maybe even Patton? »

Janus cleared his throat, ready to say something similar to the fact that they shouldn't impose anything on Thomas, but was promptly cut off by the man himself as Logan told Remus he had had a wonderful idea.

« Oh? » a sly smile appeared on his lips. « Do tell me more about them? »

Janus scratched his neck and let his hand rest on his shoulder. « Uhm, it's kind of a long story, but it's about these two stars my sister and I met before falling on Earth. »

The former galaxy couldn't have seemed more intrigued: Remus came to the rescue, providing an insightful summary of the previous events, with Logan's assistance, justifying some space facts Thomas had forgotten during his life on Earth.

« You absolutely have to tell me more, dude. »

« As you wish, » Janus assumed his usual storytelling position on the café's seat, looking then both at his nephew and Logan. « Are you guys ready for the great finale? »

✾✾✾✾

In an instant, Virgil had found himself on the ground; Emile had thrown him down so the second blow of Zeta wouldn't have hit him as much, but the Sun kept running, aiming to protect the Moon with everything he had in his potential.

Virgil's every limb was trembling as he pulled himself up by the elbows, sliding forward until he reached something to sustain himself up: he looked around and saw the stupidest star in the galaxy doing the stupidest thing in the universe.

Roman was already standing, trying to coax whatever had caused Zeta to explode, without success.

« You! » she roared, as Emile and Remy started gathering stars around to let them out as fast as they could. « You are an hypocrite! After everything I've done for you! » there was another blow, to which Virgil reacted by doubling over again.

Roman stood still, which was permitted by his star's strength. « I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings Zeta! I can't fake them either! »

« Shut up! »

As another blow hit the room, Virgil tried to slither on the floor the closest he could to the couple: it was then that he understood Roman was numbing down Zeta's crashing energy by taking all the blows on himself.

That idiot.

Roman made a false move by averting his gaze to Virgil on his right, rather than focusing on the soon-to-be runaway star. Zeta followed it, feeling the burning of her insides even stronger than before.

In that single second of haziness, chaos was unleashed.

They all had less than a second to react: Roman ducked to his right, using himself as a shield to protect Virgil, still disoriented by the previous blow.

A single hit from her curve and Virgil would've been detached from their binary system and become a runaway star as well.

Emile rapidly pushed Remy out of the palace along with the other stars, fearing for their well-being as he already knew the consequences Zeta was going to cause.

When he turned back, hearing the Moon's “wait!” before closing the entrance, she had already been violently circulating in the room, everything she hit crumbled to pieces, her final goal being the two stars that had caused her infinite dolence.

She had spiraled out of control.

« Roman! » Emile tried to avoid the falling bricks of marble in every direction, shielding his eyes from the dust. « We cannot withstand her power any longer, we have to leave! »

Virgil looked rapidly between the two, shortly glanced at where Zeta was heading and ran in her opposite direction, taking Roman's hand in his as the Sun went along them.

The entrance had already been blocked, thus there was a single emergency exit remaining: the balcony.

The three ran down the hallways, scrambling to their feet here and there everytime Zeta crashed into the walls and the ceiling, the lights already out.

Everything went wrong when Roman let go of Virgil's hand and locked him and Emile out of the hallway, free to run to their salvation.

They immediately turned to him.

« What the fuck do you think you're doing? » Virgil punched the glass door, while Roman's expression displayed determination and slight regret.

« I'm the strongest star between all of us. I can keep her at bay as you guys get to a safe location- Please, just let me do this. »

« Are you out of your mind?! And leave you in this crumbling place where you'd never get out alive? » Virgil powered up, his eyes and fists becoming pure light and fire. He punched the glassed entrance further, breaking it instantly this time.

Roman's eyes widened and he watched Virgil tug him down by the shirt.

« Don't you get it? It's you, you fool. It's always been you. » Virgil's voice sounded between desperate and on the verge of crying, in need to let out all of the words he'd never been able to before. « I had a hard time admitting it to myself because I was scared but it's always been you I loved. »

Roman couldn't quite believe the words he was hearing, thinking he had to be hallucinating after all the hits taken by Zeta. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could register them, he then raised a hand to cup Virgil's cheek.

« And now I don't care anymore. I don't care, either we die because of a black hole or for a runaway star, it doesn't matter! » he breathed in, hiccuping in the middle of it, before looking back up at Roman. « I will be with you, because I love you. I love you and I'm not scared. »

Roman felt hysterical, letting out a muffled laugh between his sobs. « I love you too. » he took Virgil's face in both his hands and pressed their lips together almost desperately. And there he knew there hadn't been a collision he would've wanted more than that one.

As they parted, Virgil turned to Emile, who had been trying to reduce the blows for as long as they could have some more minutes.

« Go. You're way too important. »

Roman nodded. « We will handle it. »

The Sun spared them one last look, one of those that meant everything from gratitude to the deepest admiration.

When he was gone, Virgil took Roman's hand yet again, maybe for the last time, he thought, and they ventured back in the halls together.

They tightened their grips the more the crashes became unsustainable.

Looking at the ceiling and up ahead, the two understood there was no way for them to progress any further. Roman placed them in front of a window, then he called Zeta to them.

As she inverted her course to reach them, the two embraced each other.

« Scared? » Roman murmured, looking in his eyes.

« Not one bit. » Virgil's soft and imperceptible smile was exactly what Roman would've wished to see last of him.

A blinding light surrounded them, both powering themselves up to take in Zeta's hit and protect each other as best as they could.

Then, the final blow came.

And everything turned dark as a black hole.

It didn't take much for the Sun and the Moon to reconstruct a palace for the sunset dance of the same day, apart from a small eclipse to be formed as the two worked together.

For the first time in forever, they took much longer to show up.

Remy and Emile kept each other's balance as they checked their previous half destroyed palace; the remains kept perfectly gravitating in the same place as before, as though the signs left by Zeta hadn't mattered or damaged them at all.

There was hope, they couldn't deny it, the kind of hope that set yourself up for disappointment.

It was on their third time of jumping around bits of pavement that they decided to give up, sure that there wasn't anything they had left behind.

On the Sun's hallway, where everything was unusually almost untouched, compared to the rest of the building, Remy held Emile's hands as he helped him down a pile of debris.

Something glowed from under their feet, reflecting its light on Remy's sunglasses for a brief moment: they immediately looked down and crouched as their partner curiously asked what he had noticed.

Remy inspected the marble rocks, until he felt some that had definitely a warmer temperature.

Either that was where Zeta had last gone, or …

« Help me take these away. » the Moon's resolute voice made Emile immediately comply.

There it was.

There they were.

Surrounded by a faint purple light, Virgil and Roman laid on the floor in each other's arms, unconscious.

Remy and Emile exchanged looks before lifting a star each and walking away from the desolate place.

Virgil's eyes opened as Emile and Remy parted in each other's new wings, his foggy vision permitted him to make out barely Roman's blacked out face in the distance.

« Ro- » Remy noticed him shifting in their arms. « Did I? No- » he whined, but the Moon shushed him kindly and, just like that he nodded off to sleep again.

Roman didn't comprehend why he had woken up in the Sun's room.

He pulled himself up from the bed, noticing how the room's seemed to have been re-decorated.

Like they had completely changed places.

It hit him in that exact moment, when he saw his ballroom clothes completely different, the pounding headache barely healed.

He made it?

Did that mean …?

Before he knew it, he was running in the hallway.

And someone was running towards him, hugging him on sight.

« For all the galaxies, Roman! » Patton squeezed him tight like he hadn't seen him in a billion eons. « That was not the right time to play the hero! » Patton pulled away that much to look him in the eyes. « I am so glad you're alive. » he then said, his voice as broken as the window he last remembered.

Canopus was right along him, but, differently from him or the Sun and Moon's warm expressions, she looked melancholy.

Roman had always suspected she had feelings for Zeta.

He approached her and took her hand in his. « I'm sorry. It's m- »

« She did it to herself. » she admitted, before looking up. « It would've been worse if you lied to her only to please her. » she displayed a sad smile. « I would've hated you only on that occasion. It's okay, Roman. I'm going to be alright. »

Roman realized he had underestimated Canopus's strength, but he was grateful he did.

And now, the big moment.

« Where …? »

« Where you already know. »

Emile and Remy parted to let a path behind them, which was leading to two massive golden doors.

Roman paced towards them, wasting no time in fiddling with the handles as he pushed them open.

If he ever had to imagine what happened to stars when they died, he wished it was exactly like that.

That palace's terrace was much bigger than the one they last saw Emile on; Virgil was waiting, looking at the sunset take place in front of him in the distance, unaware of his system partner.

He only turned around as he heard Roman sigh in relief at his sight.

As much as he wanted to run to him instantly, he kept one hand on the parapet and simply looked fondly at him as Roman stepped towards him.

Roman took his free hand and leaned on the rails as well, taking one quick glance at the beauty of nature.

He made slow movements, trying to realize whether or not Virgil was real, before circling him with his arms around Virgil's waist.

« Still not scared? » he whispered it like a secret between them.

Virgil's cheeks had already lit up as soon as he exited the ballroom. « I won't ever be anymore. » he confessed, resting his forehead against Roman's.

And it was true.

At last, he wasn't scared to touch him anymore.

At last, there were no more secrets to be uncovered.

At last, they could dance together.

✾✾✾✾

Silence followed Janus's last words: he waited for reactions, but all he saw were the three's gazes fixed on the table, Thomas's mouth ajar, like he had just made the deepest revelation.

« I- » Thomas looked back at the storyteller. « I loved everything you said. I loved every single word you pronounced, holy stars! » he tried to compose himself. « This is incredible. Just- Listen, this is going to sound very sudden, but- Would you ever consider being a script-writer with me? We could work on this movie together, your way of talking- I'm sure it would be just as wonderful if you wrote all of that down. Your words are magnificent! »

Janus had met him to be able to talk to someone like him, and there he was, being offered one of the most astounding jobs in his life.

He was stunned.

Remus hit his hands on the table. « Absolutely! » he answered in his uncle's stead. « Please, join my uncle! »

« I- » Janus's face broke into a wide smile. « It can be arranged, yes. » he laughed slightly. « I would love to! » he almost didn't notice Logan's hand in his.

He didn't definitely notice the astronomer's affectionate gaze, feeling not only butterflies but an entire species of animals running in his stomach at the sight of Janus's excitement.

Oh, how he loved the way his face lit up, how his eyes glimmered bright even on a sunny day.

« Wonderful cause I have plenty of new ideas! I might even consider Remy and Emile somewhere … »

The conversation went on, but Logan wasn't able to hear anything else other than how melodious Janus's voice sounded all of a sudden.

Janus couldn't stop talking about it even after they arrived back at the apartment, barely able to exit his car while Remus had already gone up the stairs and opened the door to let himself in.

« I just- For the Moon, Logan! A scriptwriter! Beside a famous actor who used to reside in space! » he had taken Logan's hand in his own. « I'm simply blown away! »

They stopped at the beginning of the stairs.

« Gosh, this is all thanks to you. » Janus looked up at him, sparkles all around him as he smiled fondly.

Logan's heart couldn't have possibly been happier, finding the sight extremely endearing.

When had they started hugging? He was so lost in his gaze …

« Your eyes are always so bright and glowy and beautiful. »

Janus blinked twice, his expression shifting slightly.

« It's like I could recognize every single constellation in them. »

He raised his hands to rest them on Logan's cheeks and brush them with his thumbs. « I love you. »

Janus leaned in and kissed him. « I love you so much. » he whispered before the other kissed him back, slowly.

They exchanged more, resonating they could never have enough, until they heard someone call from above.

« Is Logan going to be my new uncle?! »

They parted and looked up, seeing an excited Remus run around in excitement.

« Holy sh- »

« I knew it. »

✾✾✾✾

It was the day of the premiere of Thomas and Janus's movie.

The two were sitting next to Logan and Remus on the front seats, delightfully waiting for it to finally air for everybody else in the world.

Remus watched Thomas unable to stay silent one minute, his uncles holding hands, as their engagement rings glimmered in the semi-dark room.

He thought back of what life was before Logan came around, before Janus had started telling him stories of the people he and his mother had encountered.

Never would he have thought he would have been sitting in front of a soon-to-be bestseller movie's first airing, nearly two years after, with a new relative he deeply loved and new friends like him.

He hadn't known nothing of the sky.

But now he did.

Remus took Logan's hand and both he and Janus looked down at him, a genuine and caring smile on their faces as Thomas's voice echoed with the opening of the movie.

« What is up everybody?! »

He finally knew everything he needed to know.

[98prilla]

Lost

AO3

...

Patton was lost. He was lost, and scared, and alone, and cold. It was snowing, out, and he didn’t have his coat, his gloves, his hat. He was lost alone in the woods.

 He shivered harder, at that thought, tears slipping down his face as he stumbled over a tree root, too slow to catch himself, as he fell over into the snow. It quickly soaked through his shirt, his pants. He realized he didn’t have his shoes on at all, which might explain why he was finding it so hard to move, to keep moving.

 He didn’t know why, he needed to keep moving, he just knew that he had to. That’s what mama had said. She’d told him to run, to keep moving, to get as far away as he could, and to not look back, no matter what.

 He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew it was bad. Mama had rushed him out the door, she’d been crying, she’d hugged him and told him she loved him. He’d heard shouting, heard screaming, smelled smoke, but his mom hadn’t let him see, ushering him into the woods outside the back door with the instructions to flee.

 And now he was lost, alone, scared, fallen in the snow, in the woods, all alone, with no idea of how to get home, with the sinking feeling that home wouldn’t be there, even if he somehow managed to find his way back.

He started sobbing. He couldn’t help it. He wanted his mother, he wanted his father, he wanted to be home, sitting in front of the fire, mama humming a soft song to lull him to sleep as she knitted, papa coming in from chopping wood, scooping him up and spinning around until he was dizzy and giggling, he wanted to be back in their cozy little house on the edge of the village, on the edge of the woods, curled up and warm and happy.

 But mama had told him to keep moving, keep going, so he forced himself back to his feet, though they were numb, and his legs were hard to move, and his breath was cold, his chest tight, but he forced it all to work, somehow, and he kept trudging forwards.  

…

He finally fell, shaking and shivering, so cold he couldn’t even feel it anymore, against the base of a huge tree, if he were more aware, he’d marvel at the size, but his head felt weird and fuzzy, and the world felt distant and he felt so, so small.

 He curled tight, not caring about the snow seeping through his clothing, the ice crystals forming against his skin, the snow already starting to pile atop him as it fell. He could feel his tears freezing against his face, could feel the numbness creeping through him, knew that was bad, that he shouldn’t stop moving, but he didn’t care. He was so tired. All he wanted to do was sleep. How bad could that be? Mama always tucked him in for naps, when he was sleepy at home. Maybe if he just thought of the snow as a blanket, he could sleep for a little bit, and keep walking later. That sounded nice.

 The cold wasn’t feeling so cold anymore, either. He was starting to feel almost cozily warm, almost like he was curled back up at the fireplace. Almost like he was snuggled against mama, under his favorite blanket, listening to her stories. That was nice. He missed her.

 “mama…” He whimpered softly, curling tighter against the sobs wracking his small frame.

 “what in the name of gaia…” He hadn’t noticed the person approaching. Hadn’t heard the footsteps, but at the voice, he managed to blearily open his eyes, though his vision was blurry and clouded, specks of ice sticking to his lashes, coating his lids. He gasped and drew back, bumping against the bark of the tree, in the face of the being before him.

 They looked like a large owl. They had the scaly legs and talons of a raptor, but a human torso and face, though instead of hair, he had dark, tawny feathers, small white ones outlining his widow’s peak and tracing his hairline. And instead of a mouth and nose, he had a dark black beak. He could see tawny wings stretching out behind the being, speckled lightly with black, though the being had human arms as well. A spirit, of some kind, a spirit of the forest. A spirit of death, according to the legends.

 “P-please… please d-don’t h-urt me….” He stuttered out, breath heaving and shaking, the cold scorching his lungs, fear making his heart hammer in his chest, his tongue feel like it was stuck to the roof of his mouth. The being crouched before him, and he shook, closing his eyes. He heard the figure make a soft cooing noise, and held his breath.

 “It’s alright, nestling. I do not mean to cause you any harm. You must have traveled a long time, to get this far and deep into the forest.” The spirit’s voice was low and soft, steady and sure, and he found himself nodding.

 “y-yeah. Mama s-said… mama said to r-run. T-to k-keep running. S-so I d-did. But I don’t know my way b-back and… and I think something bad happened. S-something really, really bad. And I’m scared-“ He broke off, voice wavering as it fell into a sob that tore at his throat, and he heard the spirit make another sound, this one sounding like a soft clack from his beak, as if unsure what to do. “I’m scared that something really, really bad h-happened to h-home.” He finished, swiping at his eyes, though his hands were clumsy and stiff.

 “You did a good job, listening to her. It sounds like she is very brave, and very smart, and so are you, to have kept going this long.” The spirit hesitated again, before he heard him shifting, settling down onto the forest floor, peeking his eyes open, he saw him a good foot or so away, dark eyes speckled with gold and silver looking at him carefully. “My name is Logan. May I ask what yours is, little one?”

 “P-patton. I’m s-seven.” He answered, shivering once more, feeling his eyes slip closed despite himself.

 “Patton. You’ve been out here a long time, without any proper protection from the cold. I would like to take you back to my nest, to get you warmed up and safe. After that we can try and find your home. Is that alright?” His mind played over the thousand stories his mother had told him, of spirits whisking away children, never to be seen again, of fae swapping them out for changelings in the middle of the night, of will-o-the-wisps leading travelers astray, only to get them so turned around and lost they died in the woods.

 But… but Logan seemed nice. And he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

 “Y-you pr-omise?” He asked, head drooping, unable to keep it upright as he felt himself losing hold of awareness, that warm tingling back in his limbs.

 “I promise.” He felt arms scoop him up, and he gasped, because they were so hot! So very, very hot, after so long in the snow and the wet and the ice, and he nearly cried, at how nice it felt, curling tight against Logan, feeling soft downy feathers through the thin flowing fabric that covered his torso, nuzzling against them with a happy little sigh.

 “I’m going to fly now, all right? It might feel a little strange, but I promise you’re perfectly safe. I’ve got you.” Patton didn’t respond, and Logan panicked, looking down at the now unconscious child in his arms. “Patton. Patton, can you hear me?” A small stirring of his limbs, but not enough, no awareness, and the poor thing’s lips were blue, his face so pale, his breath so slow and laboured. Hypothermia, obviously.

 The best thing he could do was get back to the roost as quickly as possible, and start slowly warming him up. He just had to hold on long enough to make it back, and the wind of the flight would not help in preserving the little warmth Patton had left.

 He quickly stripped off his shirt, wrapping the billowy fabric softly but firmly around Patton, holding the boy close to his chest, shielding him as much as he could with his arms, hoping the soft, fluffy downy feathers that lightly covered his chest would be enough to insulate him until they got home.

 “It’s all right, Patton. I’ve got you.” One last adjustment, and he leapt off the ground, his powerful wings flapping hard to gain near vertical altitude, the climb much easier once he cleared the treetops and could spiral upwards, soaring high above the woods, towards home.

 …

 He alit on the edge of the cliff, glancing down at the child in his arms. His heat beat was slow and weak, his breath sporadic and shallow, and he cursed, passing through the illusory wall that led into his aerie.  

 It was a large cavern, but it never got cold, thanks to his influence. The ceiling sparkled with shining moonstones, and a large fireplace was carved into one wall of the space. He had a perch in one corner, along with a soft pile of furs, a desk against the wall. The real treasure was the books, the shelves lined and lined with books. He scoured the world for them, collecting them, fascinated by these testaments to human creativity and ingenuity, though a fair share of them were his own journals and scientific notations.

 “Logan! Took you long enough, I’ve been waiting for ages!” He jumped at the voice, before ruffling his feathers, annoyance coursing through him as he glanced at the fire spirit, who currently had taken the form of a shimmering, scarlet dragon. Then he realized his luck, that Roman was here, a being with the power of fire, of warmth.

 “Here. You need to warm him up, slowly. His core temperature is far too low, and a sudden change could do more harm than good. Make sure to rub his fingers and toes, to get circulation back into them, those are the areas that are most likely to succumb to hypothermia.” He explained quickly, Roman instantly shifting into a more human form as Logan placed the bundle in his arms, before hopping off across the space, to his herb storage.

 It took Roman a moment, to realize what exactly he was holding. The little thing was bundled up tight in Logan’s shirt, but when he pulled it down his heart nearly stopped.

 “Body heat is the best! You should take that off of him, it’s only hindering progress at this point!” Logan called, rummaging through his cupboards. Still in shock, Roman did as he was told, inhaling sharply.

 A child. A human child.

 “What… how… Logan!” He screeched, stilling as the child shifted slightly in his arms, curling closer to him, his thumb slipping into his mouth. Oh Gaia, the little guy was adorable, and he made sure his heat was softly surrounding him, slowly warming him up as he absently rubbed at his hands. “What are you doing with a human child!?” He hissed, Logan coming back with bandages and a soothing cream, that he started gently rubbing into the boy’s skin, instructing Roman to sit down with him, as he started rubbing his arms and legs, to get circulation going once more.

 “I felt a call in my territory and found him all alone and more than half frozen. His village was attacked and ransacked, his mother managed to sneak him into the woods before the raiders reached their home and told him to run. I couldn’t just leave him there, Roman.” Roman sighed, brushing back the kid’s curly chestnut hair, noting some color was starting to come back to his face.

 “No. no, I suppose you couldn’t. Is there any chance…” He trailed off at the shake of Logan’s head, dark eyes a bit clouded, as he glanced up at Roman.

 “They’re gone. No survivors, except him, I suppose. I… I don’t know, how I’m going to be able to tell him.” Logan hissed as he got to Patton’s feet, wincing at the state of them.

 The bottoms were completely torn and bloodied, the toes themselves turned a dark, angry purple, and he took a deep breath, knowing those would be terribly bruised and incredibly painful, if they came back from their exposure. He started slowly massaging warmth back into them, looking up at a soft cry from Patton, who’s eyes were fluttering uneasily, holding his breath as they opened.

 “Patton. It is all right. Do you remember me?” He asked softly, those light blues locking onto him immediately.

 “Lo-logan.” He whispered, and Logan nodded, smiling.

 “Yes. Very good, Patton. We’re at my home, right now. We’re getting you warmed up, all right? My friend Roman is helping.”

 “Hello there, little prince. Logan has been telling me just how brave you must be, to make it so far in the woods by yourself.” Roman murmured, once again brushing a hand through the child’s hair, his eyes already drifting shut.

 “H-hurts. I h-hurt.” Patton wheezed out, tears dripping down his face, and Roman let out a low breath, stroking them away with his thumb.

 “I know, little prince. But that’s a good thing, alright? That means your body is waking up from it’s nap in the cold. It means you’re going to be okay.” Patton was trembling, but he nodded.

 “O-ok.”

 “Patton. This is important. Can you wiggle your toes for me? It might hurt, but it’s very important.” Patton bit his lip, focusing hard, whimpering as more tears fell, but after a long moment, all ten of his toes curled and uncurled.

 “Good, that was very, very good, Patton. Thank you, so much.” Logan encouraged, squeezing the kid’s hand once, though he had already slipped back into unconsciousness. Carefully, he finished loosely bandaging Patton’s feet, sweating against the low level heat emenating from Roman, as he scooped Patton back into his arms, nestling him close against his down, settling so Roman was pressed against his side, warmth encasing the nestling.

 He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Patton. Every inhale and exhale filled him with relief, as they became longer and steadier, every solid thump of his heart reassuring him, every small movement of his eyes behind their lids making him wonder what he was dreaming of, hoping it was pleasant.

 “Logan?” Roman asked, shaking him out of his thoughts, gaze meeting the concerned eyes of his friend. He let out a shaky breath, shaking his head.

 “He’s so… small, Roman. So fragile. What am I to do with him?”

 “well… you could always keep him.” Roman suggested, voice unusually even. Logan let out a sharp sqwuak, staring at Roman.

 “Roman. I cannot simply keep a child. He is human, firstly. Secondly… me!? Raising a nestling!? I don’t know the first thing about caring for one, and this is hardly a safe place for one so little and unable to fly! He… I can’t possibly… what… Roman!” He sputtered, quieting instantly as Patton curled tighter in his arms, making a small whine, tiny hand clenching his feathers. He can feel his heart rate speeding and breath gasping. A nightmare.

 Instantly, he’s fussing over the child, stroking his hair, churring softly, a deep rumble in his chest that soothes nestlings, and seems to work just as well on the human, as he settles moments later, though his grip doesn’t loosen.

 “not a word.” He threatens, feeling Roman's smirk without having to look up, unable to look away from Patton’s soft, sleeping face. He takes a deep breath. “he needs humans, Roman. He needs his own kind. I can find a good family for him, a good home. Somewhere stable, that can provide a safe, structured life for him. I cannot in good conscience simply keep him, Roman, no matter my own feelings towards the matter.” He looked up at Roman's hand on his shoulder, his face serious for once.

 “I know you’ll do what’s best, Logan. Just… consider that maybe that means staying with you. Ok?” He nodded, ruffling his feathers.

 “I will consider it, Roman.” A brief silence passed by, both lost in their own thoughts, before Logan rested his hand against Patton's forehead.”

 “He's sufficiently warmed. Would you mind, grabbing some of the furs?”

 “Of course, Lo.” Roman swept over, picking out the softest one, carefully wrapping Patton in it, holding the boy in his arms for a moment, before passing him back to Logan. “I’ll leave you to get some rest. Try not to fret yourself to death, Hoot Hoot.” Roman swept out of the cave before Logan could respond, though his indignant spluttering echoed behind him.

…

Fire.

 Fire and smoke and screams, everything was burning, and it was so hot, he was trapped in the flames.

 He could hear mama calling for him, scared and voice shaky, and he tried to call out, to tell her he was ok, but the smoke choked his lungs, burned his throat, made his eyes water as the flames grew higher. He heard her voice fading, and he tried to chase it, tried to barrel around the flames, screeching as his pants caught aflame for a moment, before  he patted them out, trying to run, though every breath choked him further, and he couldn’t breath, and the flames were closing in and the roof was creaking, and he looked up in time to see a fiery orange beam creak and snap, popping with embers, crashing down, down atop him, and he screamed.

…

“Hush, little one. I have you, little one, I have you.” He was crying, he realized, crying and sobbing, and as he realized that his scream choked off into a gasping, wheezing inhale, the air still burning his lungs despite the lack of smoke.

 “Th-they're gone. They're all g-gone, aren’t they?” he sobbed out, feeling the hesitation in the answer, which only confirmed it, really, as he shook harder, sobs tearing at his throat. He felt the arms pull him closer, rocking him slowly, something soft and warm pressing in from a sides, but it wasn’t hot, like the fire, it wasn’t trapping and enclosing and crushing him, it was nice and safe and good.

 “I’m sorry, Patton. I truly am. It is senseless and cruel and no one should have the right, to take them from you. But they would be so proud, Patton. That’s all they wanted, was for you to keep going, and they fought so that could happen. So you would keep going. And you did. You’ve done so well, little one.” Logan murmurs, heart wrenched in two as Patton shifts in his arms, hugging him around the middle, face buried against his feathers, and he tucks his head against Patton's, nuzzling his cheek, churring once again, letting Patton cry himself out, letting him grieve, acting as a steady, solid presence to let him know he was safe.

 “I m-miss her.” Patton whimpered, and his own breath caught, hugging the nestling tighter, wings wrapping closer.

 “I know. And it won’t ever stop, that missing. But it will get easier.” He replied. “I know of some humans, in the next valley over, that would love to have a child, will take good care of you, keep you safe and loved and protected. You’ll be alright.” He uncurled from around Patton as he felt him shifting against him, those blue eyes peering up at him, a frown on his lips, set in his eyes.

 “Why��� why can’t I stay? Am I not… not g-good, enough? Do you not w-want me?” Patton asked, pulling away and looking down, and oh, how his heart was breaking, absolutely shattering, with fondness for this lost child, how had he already gotten so attached?

 “Of course you are, Patton, you’re so good, and incredibly brave and strong and resilient. Of course I want you. But you should be with other humans. It’s dangerous here, for you, there’s so much that could harm you, and I couldn’t stand it if you got injured on my account.” He answered softly, crouching down before Patton, who refused to meet his eyes.

 “But I was with people, and I got hurt, already. And… and I kn-know, you’d keep me safe. Y-you’re good, I can tell. Mama always said I was the best judge of character.

 “Patton-“

 “Please? Please let me stay? I’ll do anything you tell me, I’ll be so good, and quiet, you won’t even know I’m here, I’ll… I’ll…” Logan cut him off, sweeping him into an all encompassing hug, cooing softly, throwing his whole heart into it, feeling Patton bury his head against his shoulder.

 “alright. If you’re sure that’s what you really want, I won’t force you to leave, Patton. But you need to know this. Spending so much time around me, around the magic of nature spirits, is going to change you. Over time, it will make you less and less human, more and more… other. At some point, there will be no going back.” He said seriously, making sure Patton was listening, understanding what he was saying. His lip trembled, but he nodded, sharp determination and hope burning in his blue eyes.

 “ok.” He said seriously, before tilting his head. “Do you think I’ll grow feathers? Could I get wings, like yours?” Logan chuckled, ruffling Patton’s hair.

 “Possibly, with time. Until then, I’ll just have to fly you around. Now, let’s get you off those feet, they’re still healing, and I don’t want you to reopen anything.” Patton sighed, but flopped onto the ground, pulling a fur around him, slightly dejected. He clearly wanted to explore, bubbling with energy, and Logan smiled. “How about I read for you? Will that make sitting still a little more manageable?” He asked, Patton nodding excitedly. He selected a book from the shelf, one of fairytales, before settling on the floor next to Patton, who immediately snuggled up next to him, pressing against his side, under his wing, as Logan began to read.

 Soon, his eyes were slipping shut, a huge yawn escaping him, and Logan tucked his wing a little tighter as Patton fell asleep, slumping against his side, hands curling into his feathers. Still, Logan continued to read, not wanting to stop, lest nightmares mar the little one’s rest.

 Oh, Roman was going to be so pleased, and not at all surprised, by this turn of events. And he hated to admit it, but he was happy, as well. He knew he would already give anything, for Patton, and he was so excited, to watch him grow. To see what he would grow into. And nothing, nothing would harm his nestling. Not ever again.

...

@fortheloveofjanus

[fezwearingjellybananas]

Tagged by the always lovely @annnesbonny, thank you

How many works do you have on AO3?

172

What’s your total AO3 word count?

866,426 words which is quite a few. I'm currently trying to see if I can hit a million by the end of next year but it's not so much a set goal as it is a game I'm playing with myself

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

There's mostly DCTV ones (mostly Flash but they can all be grouped as one thing), MCU and Agents of SHIELD, Doctor Who, a couple of The Adventure Zone ones, there's one Justice League 2017 film one and a few Flash Comics ones which are both more DC, a Good Omens one, Sherlock, one Librarians which is actually in a fic collection not tagged with Librarians because it was only the one fic out of all of them, I did write Harry Potter and Merlin and one Percy Jackson once way back when on FFN but they didn't make it over to AO3, so I think 13 unless you put all the DC and Marvel things together?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Crossed Wires (DCTV, Barry/Eddie, I wrote this one in an hour after getting stuck for days trying to come up with something to fit the prompt)

Mis-sent (DCTV, Barry/Cisco, also a prompt fill for a ship week, it's a wrong number/college AU texting fic, figuring out the format was interesting)

"Just sleep in my damn shirt" (DCTV, Barry/Eddie, this was a prompt fill that didn't even get a proper title?)

Milk and Sugar (DCTV, Iris/Caitlin, this turned into a very long series, it was an accident but is also my little baby)

Flash Red; Vibe Blue (DCTV, Barry/Cisco, this remains the only fic I have stopped writing halfway through so I could run to Tesco, buy yeast, and bake bread because I was writing about baking bread and couldn't think of anything else until I had a bowl sitting in the airing cupboard. I made bread multiple times because of this fic.)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, I don't always know what to say, I often feel like I'm bad with words and knowing what to say to people, but I very much appreciate the comments so I do want to thank people at least

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ashes to Ashes, it's the end of Inifinty War/very beginning of Endgame fic for the Marvellous Ladies of DC AU so there's a lot of character death (but it'll get better later)

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't for a while but I have, the Percy Jackson fic was a crossover with Doctor Who where Rory Williams ends up helping various Roman demigods during his two thousand years hanging around as a plastic Roman but that was just on FFN and I don't think I still have it saved. I forgot the Star Wars/MCU one (that makes 14 fandoms total, and was also only on FFN) which was Mace Windu's lightsaber poked him in the eye as he fell out the window after being zapped by Palpatine and he fell into a portal and became Nick Fury which was inspired by a conversation with my brother

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I had a few "constructive critisim" comments that were just critisisms which is why I don't think I have anything on the FFN account anymore. I panicked.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do not, smut is not my thing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked once but I didn't hear anything after that so I don't know if they finished it or not

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The Marvellous Ladies of DC mentioned above is a collaborative AU with @agentmarymargaretskitz

What’s your all time favourite ship?

I guess Westallen? That's the one that most commonly tends to slip in in other fics, and I do enjoy other ships featuring Iris and Barry seperately but also sometimes that just turns into poly with Iris and Barry together again

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have had a Cynco role reversal featuring comic stuff too in the to write folder for so long that could be a long fic but keeps being put behind other things and not written so I might just stick what I have up in the AU Snippets collection

What are your writing strengths?

I have had some compliments on bits of dialogue recently which was nice

What are your writing weaknesses?

Spelling. I think I might need to work on descriptions more, I often feel like I mostly write dialogue and need more of the inbetween bits.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it depends? Suddenly switching languages can be quite jarring when you're reading, especially when it's to a languge you don't know and there are no translations so for something like that when the POV character is speaking in another language they're fluent in I would probably write in English and use the descriptor tag to note it's in another language, but if it's someone else speaking another language and the POV character isn't fluent I might use the jarring switch intentionally? If they understand some then you can incorporate translations into the text because they're going to be trying to translate what's being said either aloud or in their head and they probably will miss out bits of the conversation and misunderstand so having the character (and the reader) missing part of the information is kind of the point? And little bits, nicknames, the odd word, swearing in French so the pardon my French is used literally and using it to drop this other character actually speaks French too, that's fine, it's just the big paragraphs switching.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was a Doctor Who/Sherlock crossover (because I got into fanfiction because my friend sent me several to read) and I panicked about publishing it for months. I did not tell that friend I had published any fics.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I feel bad picking favourites, but I did enjoy writing Ghosting which is a DCTV Cisco/Hartley fic, that was for the Hartmon Halloween event and was different to what I usually write so was fun to play around with and see what works and what doesn't (and considering I started by saying "I'll do no research for this because they also don't know what's going on" I ended up reading a lot about plastering), and I had some really lovely comments on Ghosting which did all make me cry a lot.

The Milk and Sugar 'verse is possibly cheating because it's a series but I was working on that for a long time so I think I'll always have a bit of a soft spot for that one (and it gave me an excuse to read so much science, that series has sources). The Superhero in the Bath, The Night Shift, and Flash Red; Vibe Blue (all DCTV Barry/Cisco) were fun to write too, The Superhero in the Bath has one of my favourite openings, The Night Shift's literal kiss of life is probably my favourite kiss I've written (and my favourite "can I count this as a pun or not" bit), and the bread I made while writing Flash Red; Vibe Blue tasted good too, the recipe was on the yeast pot, it's my go to bread recipe now, it lives in my head. Outfits (DC, Hal/Barry/Iris) was for the DC Poly Week and was my favourite out of those prompts because it was just a little bit of fluff (fun fact about the DC Poly week, 4 out of 7 are Hal/Barry/Iris fics, if you read it as one 'verse it's snippets of their relationship in reverse order), Museum Visits (DC, gen featuring Barry, Iris, and a tiny Wally) was just short and sweet, Double Back (DCTV, gen from the Flash & Hawkgirl series which is Iris/Kendra with a side Barry/Cisco) was really fun to write (the whole series is but that fic is based on Flashback which is one of my favourite episodes) and Vibe and the Flash (DCTV, gen from the Tess Lives AU which features Barry/Iris) had a bit that wasn't planned but showed up while I was writing and I'm so glad it did (the thing those two have in common is I guess I enjoy writing Eobard Thawne being a dick), I really don't think I can pick one favourite, I think, even if there are hard points and some are from a while ago and I would probably do differently now, I've enjoyed writing everything I've written, it's why I wrote them.

Tagging @agentmarymargaretskitz, @starstruckpurpledragon, @incendiaglacies, and @squireofgeekdom if you would like?