#sad brain

[heylouiseee]

#21

And when it's finally your turn, I hope you understand why the wait was necessary.

[covered-in-bones]

it is getting harder for me to want to continue existing

[wilsons-divorce-papers]

EPISODE 36/37 SPOILERS

---

I've been spending too much time thinking about what the most recent episodes mean for Veronica.

We don't have a ton of details, but from what we know, her first marriage wasn't a very good one. At the very least, her ex husband didn't seem to care for her or Scary. Terry was the opposite. He cared so much for both of them.

In the first episode of the season, he made Scary lunch and tried to tell her how much he wanted to understand her.

When Scary got doodlerized, he was willing to stay out of their lives if it meant making Scary happy.

The first time the teens were in The City, he made attempt after attempt to try and support Scary like Ron had supported him - even in the face of his impending death.

And in these recent episodes, he immediately noticed the change in her demeanor. She wasn't his Scary, the one he loved endlessly without knowing if it was reciprocated. And even though he knew in his last moments that he wasn't speaking to Scary, he poured his heart out just in case she was in there somewhere.

Knowing the amount of love this man had for Scary (and the examples his father and stepfather set), I can only imagine how deeply he cherished Veronica.

And now, Veronica is home alone. She thinks her husband is on a business trip. She believes her daughter has run away - and their last phone call wasn't much of a reassurance.

She has no idea she'll never hear Terry's laugh again. She'll never hold his hand or reassure him "Scary will come around." She has no idea that the pictures on the mantle and the letters he left behind are all that she has left of him. And she has no idea her daughter had to watch him die.

[miradelletarot]

Ya know what, brain? Fuck off.

I have been waiting all day to sit down and write.

All. Day.

Dealt with both jobs today, and a shit ton of drama at my morning job, and all I wanted to do was relax, and finish my fic.

Cue the imposter syndrome thoughts that have now completely stunted my creative flow. What I was once excited to write, I am now dreading.

What if no one likes it? There are so many better writers out there than me. Who wants to read my noob shit? Does anyone really like what I write?? I feel like all i write is mediocre, and completely unexciting. Maybe I am wasting my time.

I actually have a deadline for the one i'm working on rn, and I can't fucking work on it now b/c it feels like all of the words are just jumbling in my head into one big congealed pile of dogshit.

I think i'm gonna go to bed early, hug my pillow and pretend its Gale. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

[the-eyes-of-andyserkis]

Alright brain, what's up my dude? Why you gotta be like this?

I want to write but I feel like I've barely touched chapter 4 in weeks and I thought this was going the be the easiest chapter because I had the most already written, but it feels like pulling teeth to get the words out (why can't I just Matrix this thing out of my brain? that technology should exist by now, right??). Everything I wrote in the past was only ever a one-shot, so this chapter to chapter thing is a new beast.

And it feels like there wasn't as much feedback on chapter 3 which, I legitimately haven't been worried about one way or the other up to this point, but suddenly this morning brain is like, "But what if...you did care." Maybe because it was the first really smutty chapter and I just wanted it to be good and I don't know if it was but listen friend, we are in our 40s and I do not appreciate feeling this way can you chill, please?

At least I know at this point in life that feelings wax and wane and I'll eventually move through it and continue writing eventually, but if this was LiveJournal I might be feeling *blank* or *emo*? (Didn't that used to be an option?) Oh man, if I still used LJ I would absolutely make a custom Andy mood theme.

Anyway my tummy hurts so I'm going to have some dandelion root tea and try to chill tf out maybe. ❤️

[artis-dead]

Bad day

[spoonietimelordy]

Telling yourself that your friends don't hate you become more and more difficult everytime one of them turn out to actually hate you.

[ardenraine]

Enough

I cant fucking do this anymore

Im tired of pretending.

Why doesnt anybody understand

why do I feel so helpless

what did I do wrong

I miss her

only she can make these thoughts go away

but shes miles and miles away

this paper doesnt absorb all of my feelings the way I want it too

it helps

but its not enough

Ive had enough

I cant keep doing this

[strawberrymilfsblog]

Who knew healing would hurt this fucking bad

[shadowsjoys]

Happy to announce my existential dread at night has been replaced by a deep, inexplicable sense of needing to see my bones in one way or another before I die

[heylouiseee]

#14

I still remember how painful that night was. How tired my eyes and heart were. I still remember how I almost ran out of breath while I was crying and how I was trying to stop the noise I could make. I will never forget how difficult it was for me.

I will never forget that pain.

[covered-in-bones]

i fell in love with reading books not for flipping through pages for hours on end, but for hours on end i am in a different world; one that has not caused me so much pain and suffering. A world where no one has hurt me.

[inuleeli]

Brain: I REQUIRE

Me: ok do I get to know what or-

Brain: I REQUIRE

Me: ok so I just get to sit around feeling miserable and not know why cool cool

[painflavoredjuulpod]

implementing positive self talk is harder than quitting drugs like i feel like i’m in brain rehab just trying to teach me how to be nice to me

[lazylittledragon]

made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to

[themallcarp]

I'm sorry my brain is dealing with technical difficulties. Please be patient while we work to fix these issues.