#say it again for the people in the background

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Smoking and other new things (M)

Part two of the I'd Do Anything Series

Summary: Since y/n can't tell anyone she fucked Jeonghan, she has to resort to other methods of achieving her original goal of making people see her in a different, less innocent light.

Warnings: Smoking, talk of drugs, college party- but not Jackson Wang's, skewed perceptions of 'innocence', blow job, throat fucking, dom!jeonghan, sub!yn, inexperienced!yn, creampie, rough sex, semi-public sex, light degredation, kinda mean!jeonghan, treats (don't ask), lots of saliva, minimal impact play

A.N. I just want it known that most of the experiences that y/n explores in this are experiences I TOO am unexperienced. My best friend was google, and the hits of vapes and cigarettes I took SOLELY for research on this fic. don't bully me pls </3

-

The great thing about the events of this past week was that unlike what anyone would have believed in and out of high school, you were finally not a virgin.

You had had multiple people make jokes with you that you wouldn’t have sex with anyone until you were married and even then they joked that you would wait forever after that.

Because somewhere along the line people became convinced that good kid also equaled prude.

So now, excitingly, you had physical proof that you weren’t a prude…

And you couldn’t tell anyone.

You tapped at your desk in aggravation, your finished chemistry work sitting captive beneath your hand. 

What the fuck was the point in all of this? Sure in the moment it had all made sense, because Jeonghan was hot, and you two were alone, and you had wanted to be fucked so badly. But to so easily agree to not tell anyone.

What was the point? What was the point?

It wasn’t like you had only wanted to have sex with Jeonghan to brag about it. Having sex with a specific person wasn’t a brag, but now if you were to make some broad statement about how actually I have had sex before and I also did anal, and he creampied both of my holes- I even have a safe word but I can’t tell you who it was but I mean trust me it happened no one would believe you.

It sounded like you were just making up crazier details to make it more outrageous and therefore believable.

So, so frustrating…

You considered silently what to do with your weekend. You had gotten your homework done by now, and it was a Friday night. This was the perfect chance for you to do something else to change everyone’s opinions on you, but you didn’t even know where to start.

Okay… Not true. You could just go back to square one: Drugs.

And thanks to Jeonghan, you knew just where to go.

You pulled out your phone and opened Hansol’s contact.

Hey. I need drugs.

You thought that was simple enough and within only a few minutes your phone was buzzing. You picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, what the fuck?”

You pursed your lips, and tapped your index finger against the desk.

“What?”

“You can’t just text me that you need drugs,” Hansol clarified, sounding a bit annoyed that he needed to do so. Your eyes trailed to the side.

“You sound like Jeonghan.”

“What?” Hansol replied, confusion etching his voice. You didn’t elaborate.

“What should I say to you if I want drugs if I can’t just text you?” You asked.

Hansol sighed.

“Ask me in person?”

“But-“ 

You heard noise in the background and Hansol turned away from the phone, he spoke but his voice was muffled. Jealousy shot through your chest.

“Are you at a party right now?” You blurted before you could think twice about it. Hansol was quiet for a few seconds.

“… Yes….”

You planted both of your feet firmly on the ground.

“Let me come!”

“Y/n….”

“Please, please, please,” you begged, already getting to your feet to get changed. You switched the phone onto speaker as you began to rummage through your closet.

“Y/n, it’s just…. Really not your scene,” Hansol warned.

“It can be my scene!” You insisted as you ripped your shirt off. You grabbed your phone again, turning it off speaker and smashing it against your face. “Hansol, please, I promise I won’t stand out at all. It’ll be just like I’m one of the guys.”

You physically winced at your own words, and silence followed your statement. Silence that lasted for so long that you thought that surely you had ruined your chance completely.

“... Fine.”

“Really?!”

“But y/n. You have to be…” He let out a sound of frustration. “Good? Fuck. I don’t know, but everyone will be so pissed at me if I’m the one who invited you to this party and you get hurt or some shit.”

You weren’t really listening to Hansol at this point.

“I’ll see you soon Hansol!” You insisted. “Don’t forget to text me the address.”

-

You tried not to let what Hansol had said bother you too much, because who cared if he was still sheltering you when you had actually gotten the invite? You couldn’t help the excitement that was buzzing through your body at the fact that you were finally going to be at a party.

You weren’t sure what to expect, all you did know was that any college party was going to be either exactly like the movies or nothing like them at all.

You found the address of the house easy enough, and to start off the party certainly wasn’t as out of control as you had seen in films. There weren’t people throwing beer cans out of windows, and the music couldn’t be heard from all the way down the block but it did look like there were a lot of people inside.

Outside there were a handful of people talking with red solo cups in their hands, one of them being Hansol. As soon as you got out of your Uber, he saw you and waved you over.

“Hey,” he greeted as you joined him on the steps. He glanced over your outfit, a simple crop top and some jeans. “Good outfit.”

And you could tell by his voice that he was genuinely impressed. You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out over your lips.

“Thank you!” You said brightly. You peeked around his body at the party, and just as you did Hansol raised his vape to his mouth. You watched him, your heart thumping in your chest.

Vaping. Perfectly legal, perfectly safe. You could totally vape, and people would start to see you a little differently. Hansol seemed to watch your gaze and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you… Do you want a hit…?” He asked uncertainly. Your eyes lit up.

“Can I?” You asked. Hansol chewed unsurely on his bottom lip.

“Do you really want to?”

You nodded eagerly and so he sighed and handed it to you. You took the small piece of plastic and pressed it to your lips, but your hesitation was evident. Hansol sighed, that nervous expression still on his face.

“You have to slowly inhale the vapour, hold it in your mouth for just a second, and then open your mouth, breath in the vapour and exhale,” Hansol instructed. You nodded, trying to follow his instructions but when you tried to finally breathe in the vapour, you started to cough. Hansol took the vape from your fingers.

“It takes practice,” he said, but he looked more nervous than you felt. “Do you want a drink?”

He led you into the party, weaving through the groups of people. There were people playing beer pong, others standing around talking, some people were grinding on each other on the dance floor. What you knew for sure was that everyone was drunk.

You needed to get drunk.

Hansol walked right past the bowl of some sort of punch that was on a flimsy collapsable table and instead led you over to the fridge where he pulled out an unopened bottle of Corona beer. You pouted and pointed at the punch bowl.

“Solo cup,” you whined. He gave you another nervous look and instead, held the bottle out towards you more firmly.

“Unopened,” he pressed. You sighed, and decided to just take whatever alcohol you could get. Maybe you would try the punch later when Hansol wasn’t hovering over your shoulder as if he were your babysitter.

Your eyes trailed over the people at the party, trying to figure out who you knew, and who you could try to talk to. Before you could really take in your surroundings, a hand came to your back, and you jumped in surprise.

“Well, is that little y/nnie or are my eyes deceiving me?” The person bellowed. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. His lips curled up into a smile. “It is.”

You sucked in a small breath.

“Seobin?”

He grinned lazily.

“The one and only.”

Seobin was one of the boys that you knew from your time in high school. It may have been a while but you would recognize him on sight. (Considering he had been one of the more popular boys in school.) Seobin had never even talked to you before, and he certainly had never been this close to you.

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you knocked his hands off your shoulders, which he shrugged off like it had been his decision in the first place. He patted your head like you were a dog and looked over at Hansol.

“What’s little Miss Perfect doing here?” He asked, as if you weren’t standing right there. Hansol shrugged, still looking wildly uncomfortable.

“Y/n wanted to come,” Hansol shrugged.

“OoOoh,” Seobin said excitedly. He turned back to look at you.

“Looking for some way to change the way people think about you?” Seobin cooed lightly. You pressed your lips together in thought. “Looking for someone to make you seem, less pure?”

Your thoughts drifted to Jeonghan, and your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“I already have someone to make me less pure,” you mumbled softly. “Don’t need you to make me seem it.”

Seobin laughed in surprise at your brazeness and he clapped his hand on your shoulder, and tightened his grip so that you were still in place. He leaned forward, his nose nearly brushing yours.

“You’re telling me you’re not a virgin anymore?”

Your face burned as Seobin got knocked off of you.

“Fuck off,” Hansol bit out. “Stop messing with her.” 

Seobin shrugged off Hansol.

“I’m not messing with her,” he grumbled. He looked at you. “Am I messing with you?”

You pursed your lips.

“I’m not a virgin,” you said, sounding like a whiney kid. Both Hansol and Seobin stared at you, before finally Seobin burst out in a loud obnoxious laugh.

“I need a fucking cigarette.”

You watched as Seobin dug his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small white box.

You stared at the box in Seobin’s hand, your heart thumping in your chest.

“I’ll just be a second,” he commented. He raised his free hand to pat your cheek condescendingly. “Why don’t you wait here for me huh?”

Your face burned.

“What? You don’t think that I can smoke?” You blurted, before remembering that you were supposed to be keeping your cool. Regardless, Seobin laughed.

“Can you smoke?” He asked.

“Well….” Your foot tapped against the ground in frustration. “I can certainly learn.”

Seobin’s eyebrows rose in amusement, and Hansol grabbed you by your forearm.

“Y/n,” he hissed, pulling you towards him a bit. “What… What are you doing?”

You shrugged.

“I’m going to learn to smoke a cigarette.”

Hansol looked pained.

“Why?”

You shrugged.

“Why not?”

He bit down on his bottom lip nervously and you took that as your opportunity to shake him off and follow Seobin out of the party. Once you two were out in the cool air, Seobin led you so that your back was on the wall of the house. He pulled out a cigarette and gave it to you.

You took it nervously in your hands, noting that it was a bit… Squishier..? Than you thought it would be.

Seobin poked his cigarette into his mouth, clicking his lighter to light the end of his cigarette. He took a small puff and then sighed, gesturing to you. 

“Put it in your mouth,” he said pointedly. Your eyes widened a bit and you did as he asked. Seobin grinned.

“How obedient. Maybe you aren’t a virgin.”

Your face burned but as it did Seobin leaned forward and flicked his lighter on again, lighting the end of the cigarette. He put the lighter back in his pocket. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth briefly.

“Breathe into your mouth, down into your throat, and then exhale.”

You nodded, your eyebrows furrowing as you breathed in. You didn’t really feel like any smoke was entering your mouth. You kind of liked the texture of the cigarette between your lips. 

Your eyes squinted at Seobin who had decided to pin you against the wall with one hand while he smoked with the other, watching you in amusement. You tried to breathe in again, and this time it hit your throat.

You burst into a coughing fit, which made Seobin laugh at you. He plucked the cigarette out of your mouth and grinned at you.

“Are you sure you can smoke?”

You glared at Seobin and he stuck the cigarette in his mouth. He stared at you, his arms crossed over his chest.

“You know, you’re actually really pretty.”

Color flared to your cheeks at the comment.

“If you really are still a virgin and looking to lose that status…”

Oh my god, was this really all it took? To head to a party, and drink a little beer, and badly smoke a cigarette and then all of a sudden Seobin would want to fuck you. You couldn’t believe it. How easy this would have been if you had just cut out the middle man and come straight here.

“I…” You trailed off and Seobin took a step forward. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke in your face. You turned your head to cough and as you did, his fingers came into your hair, and he led your gaze back to his.

“I can make you choke on a lot of things y/n.”

Your face burned red and you shook your head quickly, your mind flashing to that of Jeonghan. The fast image of his eyes flashing in your mind had you lightly pushing at Seobin’s chest.

“I-I think I’ve choked enough tonight,” you said with a nervous laugh. Seobin’s eyes were still lingering on your lips- Oh my god you really were hot.

“Shame,” Seobin finally said. His eyes flickered back up to yours.

“But if you change your mind.”

If you changed your mind you could just call Seobin.

What a crazy thing to think. That you had options.

You stayed outside for a bit longer, begging Seobin to let you try and smoke again. He gave you the cigarette after you begged a little bit, and you got more used to it after half an hour. You didn’t like it, but you did get used to it.

After you went back inside you drank some more, and Hansol started to finally loosen up a bit, less worried about you as you melded in with the crowd of people.

And by the time you got home that night, drunk and tired, you finally felt like you were actually starting to fit in.

-

Somehow you had managed to get yourself invited to a study session with Hansol and his friends on one of the higher floors of the library in their own study room. After hours of studying and talking, Hansol started to pack up his things and he looked across the room at you.

"If you really want..." Hansol's voice was a bit hesitant as his fingers clutched around the small dark vape cartridge in his hand. "We were all going to get high and watch Finding Nemo."

He shrugged off-handedly as if it was something so mundane to him he couldn't imagine you wanting to do it. And that hesitation made sense because to him, this was mundane. You had heard him and Irene making these plans around you a million times and yet you had never gotten an invite.

But today you had somehow managed to get one.

You tried not to come off as too excited.

"Sure, it's been a while since I've seen Finding Nemo."

Hansol nodded, a smile flickering across his lips as he turned over his shoulder, back toward the room that you two had just come from. You followed him, both of you sticking your heads back through the doorway.

"Y/n and I are headed out," he announced. You sent a timid smile Seungcheol's way, and as you did you turned around, excited to follow Hansol off but instead of following you ended up colliding.

You glanced up, squinting to figure out who was staring down at you with an incredulous expression on his face.

You immediately straightened up, pressing your lips into a tight thin line.

"Oh, Jeonghan, you just missed us," Hansol commented. Jeonghan's eyes flicked over to Hansol's for only a second.

"Us?"

"We're meeting up with Irene, Mark, Eunbi, and Yerin," Hansol elaborated and he so clearly didn't see the expression on Jeonghan's face that you did.

You looked away from Jeonghan, and instead found a spot on the floor, wondering why you felt like a child who had just gotten caught at a party by their parents.

"Y/n's going with you?" He asked. Hansol hummed.

"Not as innocent as we thought I guess," Hansol commented. "Asked for a hit of my vape."

"Yeah?"

His gaze was practically burning into you.

"And you were telling me about that party you went to last-"

Your eyes widened and you darted forward, your hand covering Hansol's mouth before you could consider the repercussions for your actions. Hansol stared at you in confusion, and you forced a laugh, letting your hand slide down to his shoulder.

"Can't tell everyone about the party."

"Considering that Seobin taught you how to smoke a cigarette I would think you would be ecstatic to tell everyone about the party."

There was dead silence between you three, in fact, you weren't even breathing.

"You know, considering the fact you're trying to make people see you more seriously."

Why did Hansol feel the need to double back on that? Why did that just make everything worse?

"You know what? That does make me see y/n in a different light."

You risked a glance up at Jeonghan, who had a scarily calm expression on his face.

"Why don't I walk y/n to Irene's? Didn't Soonyoung have some project he needed to talk to you about?" Jeonghan asked, directing his attention fully to Hansol. Hansol's eyebrows furrowed and he looked down at his hands.

"Shit, you're right."

As he thought over Jeonghan's proposition his hand raised to his face, and the light on his vape lit up, the artificial smoke drifting out of his mouth after only a moment.

"Y/n, Jeonghan can get you there. I'll be there in just a few moments."

He held out his vape just the same way that he had a few minutes ago, expecting you to take another hit. You decided not to overthink it. You grabbed the vape, breathed in too fast, and a cool and sharp bit of air and smoke hit the back of your throat. You coughed out in surprise but mostly kept the sudden reaction concealed.

Hansol smiled.

"You're getting used to it. I'll see you in a second."

And then he was rushing off, leaving you all alone with Jeonghan at your side.

It wasn't like you were doing anything wrong. You weren't doing anything that anyone your age had told you not to. You were just trying new things, and hanging out with new people and... Making everyone think differently of you.

Now that Hansol thought you were willing to try all of these new things he was looking at you differently. No longer that smile that haunted you when people asked you if you wanted to smoke with them out of convention. The look in their eyes that said that they knew you were going to turn down the offer, and that look that screamed to you that they looked at you as more of a perfect porcelain doll than a human.

And yet, looking away from Hansol's expression, the way that said that he finally thought you were normal, you turned and looked to Jeonghan's and you saw something else.

He didn't seem to see you as normal necessarily, and there was disappointment, but that wasn't everything that was there... He didn't look at you like you had suddenly changed into something that ruined his perception of you... What was that look in his eyes?

"Cigarettes?" He asked you after a few moments. You stared at him and nodded. "How long were you at that party?"

Your hand raised subconsciously to the eyeliner you hadn't completely scrubbed from off your undereyes. He huffed.

"And you're vaping now too?"

All things that you knew your parents would shame you for, and you felt shame. You felt like you had disappointed Jeonghan, but... Not the way that you felt like you should feel.

"You want me to teach you something today?" Jeonghan asked you. He closed the distance between you two, and dug his fingers into the roots of your hair. "Something like what I taught you the last time we were alone?"

Your breath hitched.

"Yes sir," you barely managed to get out, because as soon as the confirmation was out of your lips Jeonghan's lips were smashing into yours. Your hands quickly fell to his arm for purchase, your eyes smashed shut as every part of you forgot how to think.

You didn't even realize that you were desperately trying to press yourself into the kiss until Jeonghan had pulled away and you realized you were on the tips of your toes.

You stared at him, chest heaving, ready to be obedient for him.

"Today you're going to learn how to be quiet."

Jeonghan shoved you towards a closet and smashed the two of you inside of it. He then dug his fingers into your hair again and forced you down to your knees.

"Today you're going to learn how to suck dick."

You felt your mouth growing wetter as you stared up at Jeonghan, the dim light of the closet framing the dark look in his eyes.

"And today you're going to learn how to hide when you've done something naughty."

You swallowed hard, nodding stupidly as Jeonghan released your hair. He began to undo his belt, the metal clattering loudly.

“Have you told anyone about us?” He asked, and to punctuate the question he snapped his belt. You jumped at the loud crack, watching as he tossed it to the side. You shook your head in negation to his statement.

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed as he unzipped his pants.

“Use your words y/n,” he said simply.

“I-I haven’t told anyone,” you managed to get out. A smile flickered over Jeonghan’s lips.

“Good girl,” he cooed. Your face burned under the attention and Jeonghan’s hands wrapped around the base of his cock, drawing your eyes back to it.

Already the thing was standing hard and heavy in front of you, the tip of his cock only a few inches from your face.

“You’ve never sucked cock before?” Jeonghan confirmed. You shook your head slowly, your eyes not leaving the length of his cock. That had been inside of you. Not long ago, Jeonghan had been fucking you with that and you had taken it (as far as you were aware) like a fucking champ. You could hardly believe it.

Jeonghan suddenly tapped the tip of his cock to your lips.

“Pay attention,” he mumbled. Your eyes flickered back up to his, an apologetic expression crossing your face.

“Giving head is easy,” Jeonghan finally said, he gave his cock a few strokes as he spoke. “Keep your teeth off of my dick, and focus on taking me as far into your mouth as your comfortable with.”

He eyed you for a moment.

“Why don’t you touch it a little first? Get comfortable.”

The way that Jeonghan was talking to you about sucking his dick was absolutely humiliating. Like you were a kid trying to ride a bike for the first time. Still, you did as you were told. You tentatively wrapped your hands around his cock, staring at the tip as you gave it a hesitant pump.

You looked at Jeonghan for approval which he gave with a small nod.

“The head of the cock is the most sensitive part of it,” Jeonghan said, his breath catching a little as the comment made you immediately swipe your thumb over his tip. You felt a little proud to have made him react like that, so after another pump you did it again.

He readjusted the way he was standing.

“Lick it,” he instructed softly, and his fingers came to rest in your hair again. “Just a bit, get me wet with your tongue.”

You nodded slowly, and tilted his cock up a little so that you could give his cock a very small lick. It felt a little awkward, but you still licked again, and again, deciding to treat it like it was icecream.

You didn’t think that the very minimal stimulation would be good at all, but as you started to lick up the base of his cock, Jeonghan’s fingers tightened a bit in your hair. His mouth let out soft little pants as you licked across the expanse of his dick, before you finally grew a bit impatient. You licked the tip of his cock, your tongue pressing against his slit. He let out a barely contained groan, and so you sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth.

His fingers gripped at your hair, but you still sucked at his tip, the saltiness of his precum spreading over your tongue.

“Deeper,” Jeonghan grunted out.

You glanced up at him, but his eyes were closed. You slowly began to work more of him into your mouth, but you only had a little bit more of him in your mouth when you stopped, your mouth already feeling full around him.

“Is that it?” Jeonghan bit out impatiently. Your face heated up even more and you tried to suck more of his cock into your mouth, but you ended up choking on it. You pulled off of him completely, little tears sprouting in the corners of your eyes as you coughed.

You hadn’t really imagined that sucking cock would be this hard.

Jeonghan sighed and the grip he had on your hair loosened, his hand sliding down your cheek so that his thumb could rub you just under your chin.

“It’s a process…” He said softly. You caught your breath and nodded, before raising your head a little bit to look back up at him.

“How many girls have given you head?” You asked. The question clearly caught him off guard, his fingers left your face.

“Well, that’s a bit personal-”

“I’m going to do it better,” you mumbled softly. You dragged the tip of his cock back to your lips and you closed your eyes as you slowly worked more of him into your mouth. You decided to do it more like you had seen in porn videos. You eased his cock into your mouth, and worked it in and out as you slowly made your way further down on hin.

“Just take it slow,” Jeonghan encouraged you, his hand was on you again, his thumb rubbing your jaw. You closed your eyes tightly and pushed his cock deeper into your mouth. You got a bit deeper than you had the first time before you started to gag again but this time you tried to push through it.

You forced more of him down your throat.

“Don’t push it too hard,” Jeonghan warned. You ignored him, and choked harder around his cock, saliva dipping down your chin. Jeonghan’s hand came back to your hair and he tightly pulled you off of him. You coughed again, gasping.

“I said don’t push too hard,” Jeonghan reasserted. You groaned, your head tilting a little bit.

“I just…” You trailed off as you caught your breath.

“Sweetheart-” For some reason, the nickname made your face burn. “What you are trying to do, isn’t a blow job. You know why your choking? Because you’re taking my dick down your throat.”

Your face blazed.

“Well, that feels better than just a blow job, right?” You asked hesitantly. Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile.

“Immensely,” he agreed, and then his face morphed into something more serious. “But you’re a beginner. And deep throating is an expert move-”

“Just give me advice on how to choke less,” you blurted out, not interested in hearing Jeonghan tell you that you were worse at sucking his dick than everyone else before you. He raised an unamused eyebrow at the interruption. “Please?”

“Breathe through your nose,” Jeonghan mumbled back. “If you’re so insistent.”

You nodded, and sucked in a deep breath before leaning forward again. You sucked him back into your mouth, and like before you eased it slowly deeper and deeper into your mouth. Once it was pushing into your throat you were beginning to gag again, but you tried to do what Jeonghan had suggested and just breathe through your nose.

He was yanking you off of his cock again and you fought to catch your breath, spit dripping down your chin.

“You’re doing fine,” Jeonghan mumbled reassuringly. You swallowed some of the spit in your mouth and looked up at him.

“Does it feel good at least?”

He stared at you in confusion.

“What?”

“When I choke on your dick.”

A strange looked flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he leaned down towards you. His lips quirked up in a small smile and his thumb pushed into your mouth suddenly. You weren’t sure why, but you sucked on the finger regardless.

“It feels amazing when you choke on my cock,” he mumbled softly. “And I would like nothing more than to fuck that little throat as hard and deep as I want to… Holding back is… Difficult.”

Your face darkened a little and you stared up at him, your eyes wide, the question in them hopefully going unsaid-

“You want me to?” Jeonghan asked, amusement etched in his voice. “You want me to fuck your throat like I’m some kind of animal?”

Embarrassment swirled through your chest, and your pussy burned at the way Jeonghan said it. You nodded once.

“You’ve got to beg me for it, y/n,” Jeonghan chided lightly. “I want to hear you begging for me to fuck your little virgin throat.”

Your eyes fluttered shut in embarrassment.

“Please…” You whispered.

“Please what?”

Jeonghan’s thumb prodded at your chin, rubbing your saliva onto it.

“Please fuck my throat…”

Jeonghan’s hum of approval sent arousal thrumming through your body.

“Now that’s a good girl.”

His fingers grasped both sides of your face and he tapped your cheek to make you open your eyes back up.

“Pinch my thigh to stop,” he ordered. You nodded once.

“O-okay..” You mumbled. Jeonghan grinned, and then he was easing his cock down your throat.

At first, he was being careful. He slowly eased his cock into your mouth, his fingers digging into your face as he tried not to force himself too deep too fast. His moans stuttered as he eased himself in and out of your mouth, his breathing strangled.

But the second his cock dipped too far into your throat and you choked, he was losing control.

He forced his cock so deep into your throat, you felt like you were breathing him in. You gagged around his cock, but just as he was pulling out, he was pushing in just as deep and hard. You focused on keeping your teeth out of the way at first, but the more he fucked your mouth, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed as carefully as you could through your nose…

His moans sent heat right down to your core. Your whole body ached with the need to be touched as he fucked your throat like he needed to do so to live.

You couldn’t believe the sounds he was making. Couldn’t believe that even though saliva was dripping down your chin and you were choking he was still using you like you were some kind of toy.

Out of nowhere, Jeonghan pulled himself out of your mouth.

“Are you ready for me?” You gasped for air, your eyebrows strewn in confusion. Ready for what?

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, frustrated.

“You better be fucking opening yourself up for me,” Jeonghan elaborated. Because your mouth is hot…” He began to slide down towards you. “And tight…” He took your free hand, shoving it into your panties. “And so so pretty…” His lips pressed to yours. “Especially stretched around my cock.”

He smiled, and tapped your face with his hand. Not quite sharp enough to be considered a slap.

“But I want to fuck that pretty pussy, and i expect you to be ready for it.”

He stood back up, towering over you again.

“It’s not my job to make sure you’re open enough for my cock.”

A shiver ran through your body, at both the insuation that he would fuck you- stretched out enough for his cock or not- and at the excitement that he was going to fuck you again. Here?!

Your rice purity score was changing rapidly.

You tried to push two fingers into your pussy, but it was a bit of a struggle, so you focused on just the one for the moment.

Jeonghan tapped the tip of his cock to your lips again and you opened your mouth obediently. He took you by the roots of your hair and pushed his cock down your throat. Your fingers stilled inside you as you coughed around his cock, but he mostly ignored it. 

Besides, you still had one of your hands free, and rested on his thigh. An easy cop out if you needed it.

As you tried to focus on your breathing you also tried to refocus on fingering yourself again. This time you managed two fingers into yourself and you started to scissor those two in and out of your pussy.

Even if you were just at home on your own with one of your dildos you would be rushing this. Honestly, you’d probably get impatient right away and just start to force the dildo into you as is, but since you couldn’t control the timing of your current situation, you focused on your fingers.

Jeonghan pressed your head against the wall so he could fuck your mouth better, but he paused for a moment, reaching down so that he could lift up the corners of your skirt. He saw your hand stuffed in your underwear and a curse mixed with a moan left his lips. He pulled you up by your hair.

“Panties off,” he instructed you. “Want to see that little pussy dripping all over the floor.”

You immediately  struggled to step out of your underwear, and once you did you were back in an awkward squat, your back and head against the wall as you fingered yourself and Jeonghan fucked your throat.

Every now and then, Jeonghan would reach down and pull the hem of your skirt up so that he could watch your fingering and the way that your own spit was dripping down your chin onto your shirt, but you secretly thought it was an excuse to let you breathe.

After a while though, Jeonghan couldn’t keep up the pattern. He yanked you up by your hair, and shoved you into one of the shelves against the wall. Your cheek pressed into old wood, your hands knocking over some books.

“What’s your safe word?” He asked you, as if that’s what you were thinking about when the tip of his cock was sliding in your folds. And to make all matters worse he had you mangled in such a way that moving was impossible, with one hand knotted into your hair.

You squirmed a bit, and Jeonghan’s tip slipped into your pussy, only to be immediately drawn out. A sound of frustration you didn’t even realize you knew how to make was forcibly ripped from your throat, and Jeonghan pulled you back by your hair.

“Your safe word.”

Right. You blurted out your safe word, your fingers finding purchase on the shelf just in time for Jeonghan to sink himself inside of you.

Your fingers clenched tightly at the stretch, grateful that Jeonghan had given you so much time earlier to stretch yourself out.  Jeonghan shifted his hands so that he was pressing his palm into your back, pushing you down hard.

“Oh aren’t you so good for me?” Jeonghan pressed lightly. His hand left your back for only a second, and just as you straightened up his hand was smacking your ass.

You cried out in surprise, the hit sending warmth through your body.

“Don’t fucking move,” Jeonghan growled. His hand pushed down your back again hard, forcing your ass out more. “If I put you in a position you don’t fucking move.”

You whimpered back your response and this time when he pulled his hand away from you, you stayed in position. Even so, he smacked your ass again, and you cried out as he began to set a hard and fast pace of fucking you.

“That’s better,” he praised lightly. His hand brushed your hair off of his neck so it was more exposed to him, and then his hand was pressing down on it, pressing you harder into the shelf. “You’re starting to learn to take dick so well…”

As he spoke he pummeled his cock into your pussy. You let your forehead hit the shelf as you raised a hand to your mouth, trying to muffle your screams as he pushed so deep inside of you that you thought you were going to break- No amount of stretching yourself out on your fingers could prepare you for how deep his cock was pushing inside of you.

“That’s right,” Jeonghan cooed, forcing his cock even harder into you, so hard the shelves shook around you. “Better keep quiet. Don’t want anyone to hear…”

He laughed at his own words.

“Well, you do want people to hear don’t you? You would love for someone to find out that you let me rail you in a closet wouldn’t you?”

You whimpered, your eyes closing firmly shut as you tried to ignore him, tried to focus on keeping your voice down.

“You know, your hovering dangerously far into slut territory.”

You squeezed around his cock, crying out as the simple use of the word made a moan rip out of you.

“Oh fuck, I can’t handle it when you squeeze my cock like that,” Jeonghan groaned, his voice rising in pitch as his fingers dug into your hips, holding you still so he could fuck you even harder.

“You know what else makes you squeeze my cock like that?”

He smacked your ass, and as the pain shot through your body, just as he said, your pussy clenched around his cock. He moaned loudly.

“I’m going to fuck you so full of my cum…” He moaned. “Beg for it y/n…”

You knew that if you let your hand leave your mouth you would be screaming for Jeonghan to fuck you harder, but it seemed Jeonghan didn’t care about that because in the few seconds you were considering your options his hand was striking even harder on your ass.

“I said beg.”

“Please-” You blurted out, trying to keep your voice to a steady level, but your whole body was bouncing on his cock. Your heart was thumping in your chest, your own orgasm was rapidly approaching.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jeonghan please come inside of me,” you begged. “Need it deep… Need to feel you for days… Need to-”

Jeonghan’s cock twitched inside of you and he forced his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them hard as a way to keep yourself from screaming as thick ropes of hot cum shot out, deep into your pussy. You came around his cock almost instantly, your pussy milking him of every drop of cum. He gave you a few hard and deep thrust before finally pulling his fingers and cock out of you.

You gasped as you tried to keep your grip on the shelf, your legs shaking as you tried to get yourself together. But, you finally gave up on that and let yourself lower to the floor, your back hitting the wall as your pussy dripped cum. You did your best to try and catch your breath, silence falling between the two of you.

Jeonghan dug into his pocket, and, unbelievably enough pulled out a chocolate bar. You panted where you were now slumped against the ground and stared at him as he unwrapped it a little, breaking off one of the pieces.

“Open,” he said firmly.

You wouldn’t have argued with him no matter the situation. You opened your mouth and let him put the candy in your mouth. He watched you in silence for a little, waiting for you to finish eating that piece of candy before putting another piece in your mouth.

“Y/n…” His tone was scary.

“What?” You asked him.

“Why are you…” He trailed off, sounding a bit frustrated. “It’s just…” He was struggling greatly with what to say. “You’re an adult.”

Your eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“I’m an adult,” you agreed. He stared at you, broke off another piece of candy and put it in your mouth.

“And all of your friends are now adults,” he continued. “And adults, aren’t bothered with superficial things. They care about a person for… That person.”

You stared at him, and opened your mouth, only to be silenced with another piece of candy.

“Cigarettes are bad for you,” Jeonghan said quickly. Your wide-eyed expression dropped to one of dread, and just as you went to argue with him, he covered your mouth with the palm of his hand. “And you shouldn’t be vaping just so Hansol thinks you’re cool!”

You glared at Jeonghan.

“You don’t need to change anyone’s opinion on you,” Jeonghan said weakly. “You could… You could do anything and people are still going to treat you the same.”

You pinched Jeonghan’s wrist, and he gave you a more pointed look.

“I’m serious.”

You pinched him again and his hand fell to his side.

“Hansol invited me to a party Jeonghan,” you said. You shifted so that you were sitting more upright. “And then Seobin taught me how to smoke and he almost kissed me- And he’d never even looked at me in high school.” You waved your hand through the air. “And today Hansol called me cool.”

“Hansol thought you were cool before,” Jeonghan said. “He only said that to me because he thinks I don’t think you’re cool.”

Your ears perked up at that. Did Jeonghan think you were cool?

“And you don’t want someone like Seobin to kiss you,” he sounded disgusted. “If you wanted someone like Hansol, or Hyuk to kiss you I would get it but not someone like Seobin.”

“Jeonghan I don’t care who wants to kiss me. I just want someone to kiss me.”

The serious expression on his face cracked a little, his lips up-quirked.

“Well, I know someone who could do that for you,” he said, his voice dropping a bit. A smile spread across your lips too, but it seemed to remind Jeonghan of what he had been trying to say. “You don’t need to do all these new things if you are just trying to change people’s perception of you.”

“People don’t take me seriously Jeonghan,” you argued back. This time, growing frustrated of the fact that you had just let him rail you just so that he could lecture you after. You got to your feet, and began to put your clothes back on. Jeonghan just watched you from where he was crouched. “No one takes me seriously.”

“I take you seriously,” Jeonghan replied back firmly. You eyed him.

“You didn’t take me seriously until I demanded you sell me drugs.”

Something flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he got up in a flash.

“That’s not true.”

His tone was stern, but as soon as he was standing he seemed to notice something on your face. He sighed his frustration and reached forward, his thumb brushing over your cheeks, just by the corner of your lips.

“If you think that someone will only like you because you do drugs and let them fuck you anywhere you shouldn’t be friends with them.”

You stared at Jeonghan blankly.

“Do whatever you want y/n,” Jeonghan said after a moment’s pause. “But your friends. Your real ones, they don’t like it. I would be saying this to anyone. Take it from the black sheep. Don’t do anything that will get you hurt.”

He tugged at your shirt so that it fell right on your body, and then he opened the closet door.

“But keep in mind that you have a lot of people who are willing to catch you if you fall.”

He peeked around outside of the closet and then fully stepped out. He gestured for you to follow, and you did. He gave you one more look.

“You haven’t been offering yourself up to people for drugs have you?”

You shook your head wordlessly. He let out a sigh of relief.

“My number is still the same.”

And with that he waved his hand over his shoulder and walked away.

Taglist (go here to join!):

@vintageot5 @woo8hao @toruro @wonudazed @kkakkameori @starlight-night0 @minl0u @alltheshineofthestars-blog @park-hera-gi @melodicrabbit @jeanjacketjesus @sparklyshuji @itgirl-inthemaking @lexix001 @kyeomofhearts @joshhlvr @k-drama-adict @kyeomooniee @jjeongddol @changkyunsbussy @imprettyweird @ttragiquee @colored-confetti @afslme @nerezza123

[puppy-steve]

the og post is buried somewhere, but going off of my "rockstar eddie and his husband steve run an onlyfans" post (ik @wormdebut was interested in it):

a twitter account appears, and it’s obvious that it's a burner. on the day of its creation, there's a single tweet with the link to an onlyfans video.

it's a pov, the camera pointed to a head of messy curls between someone's legs as they lick and make pleased hums into someone's cunt. the room is dark but tinted blue from the led lights that line the ceiling.

the poster lets out a soft moan as their partner does something with their tongue to make them roll their hips up.

familiar dark eyes open and look straight at the camera, lips latching onto their cunt and sucking.

a loud moan rings out, "eddie-"

and then suddenly eddie munson, lead guitarist for corroded coffin, is giving the camera a smug grin, his lips swollen and shiny.

"that feel good, baby?" he asks, spreading his partner's lips open with his fingers and flicking his tongue against their swollen clit.

their moans and whines also sound familiar. "so good, daddy," they say, their left hand coming into view to brush through eddie's hair.

the plain black band on their ring finger clocks him as steve munson, husband to eddie munson. whose moans are featured in the background of many of corroded coffin's more explicit songs.

eddie hums again, gently tonguing at steve's hole and making him mewl.

"you're wetter than usual, sweetheart," eddie comments, kissing the insides of steve's thighs. he looks at something past the camera, presumably at steve himself. "you excited to show off for everyone?"

steve must nod, because eddie sits up and takes the camera from him. he keeps steve's face out of frame, but the chest hair and moles dotting his body speak for themselves.

he points the camera between steve's legs. "look at that," eddie whispers, his voice gravelly. he gently runs his fingers over the swollen lips, his middle finger sliding between them. "fucking gorgeous down here, stevie, you know that?" eddie spreads his lips to show his hole before sliding his middle finger inside.

"daddy," steves sighs, gripping the inside of his thigh with one hand.

"so tight and wet and pretty–" eddie slides in his index finer and slowly thrusts them. "whose pussy is this, baby?"

he crooks his fingers and steve's hips jump. "s'your pussy, daddy."

eddie adds his ring finger next, spreading them a little. "that's right, angel. and who gets to fuck this pussy?"

steve whines louder and reaches down to spread himself open, his cunt pulsing around eddie's fingers. "daddy gets to fuck it," he answers. "only daddy."

"good job, princess," eddie praises. "and who gets to make this pussy come?" he presses his fingers deeper and curls them against steve's g-spot. he's rough with it, his wrist shaking and steve's cries getting louder over the slick sound of his pussy.

"daddy!" steve's back arches and the camera jerks with the movement.

steve's face comes into view for a solid three seconds, his head tossing and turning and his face scrunched up in pleasure as his husband aims to make him squirt for millions of people. "daddy makes my pussy come!"

and just like that, corroded coffin fans eighteen years or older watch steve munson come with a keening whine as he's fingered through his orgasm, gushing all over eddie's hand and soaking the bedsheets below.

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

The Viscount is set on finding a wife this season, and you are trying again for your second season. While Anthony is dealing with trials between Edwina and Kate Sharma, you are dealing with trials of your own. Benedict Bridgerton is ever present in your life, but your pursuit to find a husband must come first. Society is ever so exhausting.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season Two

Chapter Twenty One - The one who sparkles

The next day, you find yourself at the Bridgerton house. Madame Delacroix is there with fabrics, so Violet may choose one for Eloise. Eloise could not care less about fabrics as she reads away on the sofa.

Francesca plays the piano beautifully in the background. You're standing by the piano watching her. She smiles as she plays, lost in her music. You loved that about Francesca. She was so different from her siblings.

Anthony was reading by the window quietly. He hadn't spoken a word since you got here. Not to you or his family.

Elosie and Anthony share a shirt discussion about ladies and gentlemen. Eloise finds all gentlemen a bore, and Anthony doesn't believe ladies can dance properly. His poor toes. He had spent all night dancing with no such luck as to finding his ideal wife.

Hyacinth makes a comment about how she thinks Eloise would be a wonderful diamond. Eloise looks at her youngest sister in her face and says, "I despise you."

They all chuckle.

Violet chooses the fabric she likes best, and Madame Delacroix packs her things. You don't even notice as she leaves that Benedict enters, greeting her fondly. The conversation is short, however, as Benedict's eyes land on you.

Madame Delacroix leaves.

Francesca finishes her piece on the piano and smiles at you when you clap softly. "Wonderful, Francesca. Simply, wonderful."

"Thank you."

Francesca leaves the room quietly, and you find a seat to occupy. Benedict, having been turned by Delacroix, decides to make his way over to you, but Anthony calls for him. Benedict sighs and makes his way to his brother with his sketchbook in hand.

"Are you and the modiste still, uh, making a stitch?" Anthony asks.

"Apparently not. Have you found a wife yet? Or are you planning to offend every girl until there are none left? Is mother aware?"

"Aware of what?" Violet asks, hearing them.

"I'm off to deal with our solicitor," Anthony states. "Have fun with your pretty pictures, brother."

You watch Anthony leave. Violet follows him.

You get up and take the seat Anthony was just in. You lean across the table slightly and look at Benedict.

"You're not playing with her anymore?" You ask, teasing him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Madame Delacroix."

"You know?" He asks, completely horrified by the thought.

"Yes."

"How?"

"Anthony told me. I'm not sure why. Who you fool around with is your business, not mine. You Bridgerton boys certainly keep yourself entertained." You chuckle.

"You seem rather calm about this."

"Why shouldn't I be? I'm not naive, Benedict." You glance at the others. "I'm aware of what some people do."

Benedict is stunned into silence as he stares at you. Seems there is more to you than he first assumed.

"It was just some fun," he says softly.

"I don't care." You tell him. "Do what you want, Benedict."

The smile you give him doesn't offer him much comfort.

At the next ball, the queen was expected to choose her diamond of the season. All ladies in white and gold were presented before her before moving alone. You and your mother curtsied. The queen barely glanced at you.

You both walk on.

"She did not look impressed," you commented quietly.

"She never does," your mother responds.

You sigh softly and stand off to the side. You watch people dance. Spotting the Sharma ladies, you watch them approach the queen and curtsy to her.

They walk away quite quickly. You're not sure what the queen had said, but Lady Mary Sharma didn't seem too happy.

"May I have this dance?"

You turn and find yourself face to face with a rather handsome gentleman. You smile politely and take his hand, letting him guide you to the floor.

Lord Baxtor was a friendly gentleman. He had a dashing smile and seemed very pleased to be dancing with you.

"I saw you at Lady Danbury's soiree," he says.

"Oh? I do not recall meeting you."

"No, I think not. You spent most of the evening rather close to Mr Bridgerton's side."

"Oh... Yes. I must apologise. The first ball of the season, I always find rather daunting. I find comfort in being close to friends," you tell him.

"Yes, I must agree with you. You looked beautiful that night, as you do tonight."

You smile. "Thank you. You look very dashing tonight."

He smiles.

As you both dance, you don't notice Bridgerton's arriving. Violet guides Eloise over to the queen, followed by the two eldest sons.

"Tell me, brother, is there anyone here you haven't rejected?" Benedict teases Anthony.

Anthony does not look amused.

"You're the artist. Do you see anyone remotely inspiring?"

Benedict automatically finds himself looking in your direction despite not knowing you were there moments ago.

"We shall have our diamond tonight, and I shall have a wife," Anthony declares.

The greet the queen.

Eloise manages to make the queen laugh quite loudly with a comment about emeralds.

They bow and leave.

"If the queen, in fact, names Eloise the diamond, who will you marry then, brother?" Benedict asks.

"Hush, you."

The dance comes to an end, and Lord Baxtor escorts you off the floor. You smile at him. He lets go of your hand slowly, almost reluctantly, but he is a gentleman. You watch him walk away.

This seems like a promising start, at least.

You spot Benedict across the room, and he smiles at you. You return his smile. You would go over to him, but the fanfare plays and realise the queen is about to choose her diamond of the season.

You wait with the other to see who she will choose.

"Your presence is noted, and your queen most appreciative. Allow it to now be my honour to present you the season's diamond."

The room is quiet apart from a few whispers.

"Miss Edwina Sharma."

The room fills with applause. You watch the sisters who both smile. You are happy for them. Edwina is elegant, beautiful, has a charming smile, and seems to be a very wonderful person all around.

She will certainly have her hands full within the ton.

You don't notice Benedict, who comes up beside you.

"Disappointed?"

You look up. "Hardly."

"Though, you do have an admirer, it seems."

You follow Benedict's gaze to find Lord Baxtor watching you from across the room. You smile and turn away shyly.

"Then you must make sure to keep your distance, Benedict. I don't want to scare away any potential suitors."

Benedict gazes at you with a slightly confused look. He's not sure what you mean by your comment, but he doesn't respond to it. All he sees is you looking at the other gentleman with a soft smile.

Anthony takes Edwina for a dance around the room, where he is no doubt questioning her preferences.

Kate Sharma seems very unhappy to see them together.

You, however, have a splendid evening. When Benedict realises he is not holding your attention for the night, he leaves. Lord Baxtor wastes no time in coming over to talk to you.

You do not leave his side the rest of the night.

The next morning, you sit in your drawing room with your embroidery. Tea is sitting on the table beside you, and your mother is watching the window. She will hate it if you point out how obvious she is being. With wvery gentleman she sees pass the house she gets excited, only to discover them going down the street to another.

You find it amusing. Your mother looked forward to the next season. She took great joy in all the chaos society provided. You do so adore her when she is like this.

"Is there still time?" You mother asks, coming over to the couches.

"Yes, ma'am." The butler replies.

Your mother sighs and looks around the room. She hoped she had made the house comfortable enough for visitors. She was keen to help impress a suitor for you.

There is a knock at the door, and your mother clutches the armrest beside her with a sharp gasp. The butler leaves to answer the door, and you chuckle at the way your mother begins to fuss.

The butler returns. "A visitor, ma'am."

"Let them in." Your mother stands.

You put your embroidery down and stand up alongside her. You wait a few moments and then the vistor enters. You smile.

"Lord Baxtor."

He bows his head. "My lady."

Your mother smiles from ear to ear and excuses herself to the other side of the room to watch from there.

You invite Lord Baxtor to sit with you. You both take your seats and smile at one another.

"Hello."

"Hello," he chuckles.

"I was no expecting any callers."

"No?"

"I expected them all to be with Miss Sharma this morning," you confess.

"Though she is beautiful to be certain, and I'm sure a wonderful lady, I find myself wishing to spend more time in your presence."

You blush softly as you look at him.

"I haven't stopped thinking about our dance last night," he tells you.

"Oh?"

"Have you... perhaps thought of me?"

"Yes. I must admit I have."

He adjusts his position on the sofa and looks at you rather serious. "I must ask, Bridgerton will not likely be an issue, will he?"

"Why should he be an issue?"

"As much as I love a challenge, I do not wish to be up agaiant a Bridgerton, of all men."

"He is a friend of mine, but should you wish to see where this goes, a can assure you, Benedict Bridgerton will not be a problem."

Lord Baxtor smiles. "Good. Then can I hope to escort you to the races this afternoon?"

You smile. "I would be delighted."

Your mother watches with keen interest as you used this gentlemen seem to get along quite nicely. It was a promising match if she had ever seen one.

@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333

@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173

@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner

@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -

@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle

@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff - @orchiidflwer - @crazymar15

@cosmixstar - @bree3parchen - @berrnuu - @charmainemaclendon - @pinkpantheris - @krismdavis

@biancamde - @ifgslsofbsodbf - @kniselle - @berarenado - @grassclippers - @bwormie - @avengersgirllorianna

[mylittleredgirl]

thinking about sinclair again this fine day:

delenn continuing to say "in valen's name" with just as much reverence for the rest of the series, even though he's conclusively some guy named jeff that she personally knows

BUT HE ACTUALLY DID ALL THAT STUFF. SO IS SHE WRONG???

"you talk like a minbari commander" surprise! you all talk like HIM!!

remember marcus's little bit about "the only way to get a straight answer out of ranger one is to hang upside down in a mirror” or whatever? what if "minbari never tell anyone the whole truth" is just because sinclair likes to fuck with people and they made it a cultural tentpole of their society

i'm actually really quite invested now in the alternate universe sinclair & delenn relationship, because imagine her discovering AFTER the fact that her husband is Literally Valen. and she's her own distant ancestor somehow as well

delenn might actually roll with that but lennier's face in the background like O_O

i had a coworker who, anytime some new crazy shit happened, used to take a deep breath and say "this, too." not like 'this too shall pass' or anything, just acknowledging that This Too is a thing we're dealing with today, on top of all the other things. that's lennier ten times a season.

sheridan and delenn are theeee het couple of all time, i think we can all agree on this, i would NOT want to trade them for anything

but i keep thinking about how because sheridan missed season one, he never knew her as a minbari

it just seems so sad for her!!! and for me because i’d like to see him navigate that

i'm having a hard time this go-round watching her get isolated from her people :( :( i mean she IS a religious zealot just Doing Crazy Shit, they're not wrong about her, but the randos calling her a freak need to meet me in the parking lot

ALSO i just watched the dreaming episode, where it's strongly implied that she transformed herself specifically in order to be able to have children with a human (to fix the soul gap or whatever), and she's Destined For Sheridan and all, but she hadn't met him yet

and they weren't even an item when sinclair went into the past to start writing prophecies

soooo do you think she and sinclair were pen pals while he was on minbar and he read between the lines that she was super into this guy?? i think so.

jeffrey valen sinclair in the past writing prophecy about uniting the two halves of our souls: delenn bestie this one's for you <3 go get that blonde man

[poisonheiress]

Vivziepop and Queer Rep

As we all know, many fans and media reps alike have commented on the apparent "queer rep" seen in both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel with many sighting their MLM relationships and use of Sallie May as proof of Vivzie's dedication to queer rep. Yet for how much this idea is spouted across social media, I cannot say that Viv truly cares about Queer Representation in her shows. The apex of this disagreement comes from phrase that man people seem to not remember when it comes down to queer rep: Representation for one is not Representation for all.

In her hyperfocus on thin, cis mlm relationships, Vivzie creates rep for only those relationships, leaving behind countless other queer identities and relationships that also heavily need queer rep. The largest dismissal of queer individuals/relationships in HH or HB appears in characters that fall into one of three categories, The Fat, Sapphic, and The Nonbinary.

The Fat

When some of you look at this, you may be confused as to what fatness has to do with queer rep, I would tell you that it has a lot to do with it. Fat people are not inherently removed from queerness and have been there since the beginning, the creation of the term Bear is proof of that. This is the first strike on HH and HB's records.

As many other creators have thoroughly pointed out, fat representation is abysmal in both HH and HB with either shows either lacking fat rep completely or having fat characters made using more fatphobic stereotypes than I could count. With this poor managing of fat representation, its no surprise that Vivzie pop ignores all possible avenues of queer rep with fat people involved. This also impacts her presentation of mlm ships with all those in these ships only appear as thin cis men, not a single bear or trans man in sight.

The Sapphic

The second largest and arguably most obvious strike against Viv comes in her disturbing lack of sapphic relationships in both shows. While HH has at least one sapphic ship (Charlie and Vaggie), HH has none to speak of. As a result, Viv's ratio of Sapphic to Achillean relationships is heavily one-sided.

It shouldn't take me having to say this for many of you to realize that you cannot claim to have true or complete queer representation when you ignore a whole side of the queer community. While this issue in sapphic relationships likely tied to Vivzie's smaller amount of women in her stories, this does not excuse it. Having one or two of these secondary characters be in a sapphic relationship (especially Sallie May) be shown or even mentioned in passing (not random background shoots) has having a girlfriend would fix this issue, but we cannot even get that.

The Nonbinary

The final strike against Vivzie's queer rep comes in both shows ignoring the existence of nonbinary characters as a whole. While we get some presentation for the binary trans community (even though most are background characters never seen again besides Sallie May), we have yet to see a single nonbinary character in either show's canon.

This is honestly fucking ridiculous. To ignore an entire gender identity because its easier or you simply don't want to is ridiculous and should strip any claimed queer rep media from their title. Nonbinary people have always existed throughout time in different countries and cultures. To think that they're wouldn't be a single nonbinary sinner or demon in hell after all this time does not make sense.

Trans people on the binary and nonbinary side have the right to representation equally, and even if we were to ignore the concerns about Viv's current trans rep, trans people deserve more rep than random background characters and a one dimensional trans woman.

The Finale

As I end this essay, I do want to say that I wanted to discuss HH and HB's treatment and ignorance of asexuality and aromanticism as they are both highly relevant to the discussion. However, I need to do more digging on Alastor and his ace situation first before I do so in order to prevent spreading misinformation.

But even without this section, I still stand on my belief that neither of Viv's shows should be paraded around as good queer media or as truly supporting queer rep. While HH has a little more leeway with Viv's only sapphic ship, HH and HB still ignore large sections of the queer community. It feels more like Viv is picking at the parts of the community she likes more, grabbing at the more marketable identities and appearances until she has enough to call her show queer.

I hope one day Viv will listen to her fans and critiques about this lack of other queer identities but I will not hold my breath. All that is left to say is that queer people deserve better especially in adult shows and in animation. Picking and choose what queer people you include in your media simply because you like one more is the farthest thing from queer rep.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Actually could we put some light on the class difference clash epel is experiencing in school. The situations looks a little weird to me. Cuz in epel's robes vignette it starts with the other pomefiore students asking him about carpet brand preference and he has no idea what to answer. They end up having a misunderstanding that never clears up. Epel proceeds to make a table manner mistake which Rook helps cover up with a lie so epel won't be embarassed (rook can probably sympatise) while vil is more strict. It is in this vignette we see that instance of vil first making epel lie about his favorite food for unclear, debated reasons.

In Epel's labwear vignette we hear some of the NPC students whisper about him and they seem to be asuming he must also be from some rich family due to the clothes he wears (which vil gave to him and makes him wear) and maybe also because he's in pomefiore. I know that it's just like vil to give people clothes he thinks will fit them best,and some of it might be so epel blends in pomefiore better, but could Epel actually be more likely to get picked on if he was perceived as from a lower class? NRC is a prestigious boarding school but it's not like he's the only character with more...average circumstances. Compared to the literal royalty and celebrity attending.

[Referencing this post!]

Mmm... I mean, aren't the mobs (in the Labwear vignettes) already bullying Epel because they perceive him to be of high social status? I don't think it would make a difference if they knew he was of a low social status since the mobs were already bullying him (again, under the impression that he's rich) to begin with. What I'm saying is that bullying would have occurred regardless of Epel's socioeconomic status. It's not necessarily nice, but it seems to be the norm for NRC students to verbally bash one another.

I don't really recall other major or frequent instances of middle class (Trey, Jack, Ace) or low-income students (Ruggie, Deuce) in the main cast being bullied. In fact, Trey and Ruggie are pretty well-liked and respected within their own dorms despite not being as wealthy as the majority of their peers are. (In this post, I go over how roughly 75% of the main cast come from at least upper middle-class backgrounds.) The bullying seems to be centered mainly on Epel, and I think that's probably because his peers perceive him as being small and cute--and therefore delicate, meek, and easy to push around. Epel just seems like the ideal target from a quick glance. Notice how B-kun comments on Epel’s face first:

I think it's also worth noting which dorms the bullies in Epel's Labwear vignettes come from: B and C are from Savanaclaw, and A is from Pomefiore. Savanaclaw mobs are notoriously belligerent and are usually the go-to mobs to pick fights with their peers for what are very minor things. The Pomefiore mob bully seems to be an outlier; most other Pomefiore mobs, at least as depicted in Epel's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, are polite and refrain from this type of behavior.

Importantly, (Savanaclaw) C is the one that calls Epel a “little rich brat” and (Pomefiore) A says Epel is “daddy’s fancy little lad”. This wording makes both sound resentful of the rich, thinking them spoiled—so it makes me think maybe A, B, and C are actually not rich themselves and are the less privileged picking on someone they think is wealthy but unable to stand up for themselves.

Now, within Pomefiore itself, it does appear that many of its students are upper class or at least sticklers for appearances. Their knowledge of brands and aesthetics itself is not damning evidence (anyone of any class could know this too; there’s also lots of non-rich people who obsess over brands). However, the fact that all of Epel’s first year peers already seemed familiar with how to handle a full set of cutlery at a formal meal does indicate high socioeconomic status, as the common man would not know how the heck a salad dork differs from the fish fork. (Most people use 1 fork or 1 spoon for the entire meal, and forget about having courses.) Buuut we shouldn’t assume that this one vignette is representative of all Pomefiore students, just as we cannot assume the one mean Pome A is a good example of all Pomefiore students, since there are limitations with the game. (Another famous game limitation is all Savanaclaw mobs being beastmen and every other dorm having zero beastmen mobs; in the manga, we see humans in Savanaclaw and beastmen in Heartslabyul. Riddle also verbally confirms that Heartslabyul has a cat beastman in the second Beans Day event.)

I think there’s definitely intersectionality at play as well. There’s something to be said for a culture clash in addition to a clash of classes. Epel is the only one in the main cast from a decidedly rural area where there isn’t much to do (ie no brand name shops) and everyone is close and casual with one another (ie there is little in the way of formalities). This likely contributes to the disconnect between Epel and his Pomefiore peers.

Now, where is this all leading to? Am I claiming that bullying based on socioeconomic status doesn't happen at NRC? Of course not! I have no doubt that it happens, but I don't think it's specifically the rich-on-poor type. In Epel's case, it seems to be the poor-on-(perceived to be) rich kind, but the opposite also occurs (in book 1, Riddle insults Yuu's pitiful education, something which is typically associated with the lower class; magic and magic education in particular is associated with the upper class). And, of course, we have the middle ground of people of similar socioeconomic status going at each other (for example, Leona and Malleus's rivalry). What's sort of sad is that the environment at NRC is conducive to animosity and no adults ever intervening because: 1) the students are so prideful, who would actually have the guts to tell an authority figure they were being picked on? and 2) the students tend to try and retaliate or get into fights instead, which only escalates the situation.

At NRC, I get the impression that class is one thing you could get bullied for, but that power and/or connections are much more important factors. Let's revisit Ruggie, who is the most impoverished of the main cast. If we assume that the less well-off students are predominantly the ones who get picked on, then shouldn't we have many examples of Ruggie being bullied? But he isn't. In fact, the big, burly Savanaclaw mobs (who are known to be combative) seem to defer to him instead of bullying him. Leona even leaves Savanaclaw in Ruggie's care while he is away in book 6, fully expecting that the mobs will listen to Ruggie. Why? Well, Ruggie is not physically or magically strong, but he has Leona's backing. It's through this association with the powerful Leona that Ruggie gains the respect and the following of the others in his dorm. This is something we consistently see in other characters, including Epel's own dorm leader. Because Vil beats him in combat, Epel agrees to listen to what he says even if Epel dislikes it. We see mob students bend the knee to the main cast once they've gotten glimpses into their power or abilities (Leona versus the Savanaclaw mobs, Idia versus the Ignihyde mobs, each in their respective Dorm Uniform vignettes).

Circling back around to the concept of Epel being bullied! Would the Pomefiore mobs turn on him if they realize he's actually not wealthy? Maybe...? We don't really know enough about the individual personalities of the mobs to judge for ourselves. If they did bully Epel for that though... I feel like those mobs would be in for an ass whooping from Vil (and Rook) for being so petty, vindictive, and disregarding decorum. Vil can rub people the wrong way with his demanding and stern attitude (I'm one of those people sometimes), but he wouldn't stand for such "ugly" behavior. It sullies the good name of the Fairest Queen and the dorm made in her image that he oversees. Those are my thoughts on the topic! I apologize if I ended up straying a little from the initial ask (I felt like I wasn't even truly talking about Epel for half this post ashdbsadlbayw).

[sysmedsaresexist]

I spoke with Colin Ross again.

The original post, for those who missed it.

This is going to be really disjointed and rough. I've been put in a really weird position and I want to just... talk about it. This is okay to reblog, I'm sure there's pro/endos that have been waiting for this. Unfortunately, it's going to be attached to a vent.

Sadly, talking to him brought up a lot of bad feelings. I'm still so sad to see so many people turn on me. I'm disappointed that there was so much pushback. I'm disgusted by people's hypocrisy.

People wanted to know why I wasn't posting my side of the emails to Colin Ross, they tried to say he didn't believe those things anymore.

So I emailed him again, recapping our previous conversations, and asking him if he still believed in non traumagenic plurality.

And he responded that he does.

I thought I could post it, and that would be the end of it. Proving we had spoken before, confirming the topics discussed. But in my email to him, I shared what I've been doing since I last spoke with him, what prompted me to reach out to him again. The same thing that stopped me from posting my side of the emails originally. I wasn't entirely honest with him, either. I don't think I would have gotten a response if I had talked about tumblr.

And I'm simultaneously so excited and so scared.

This is a man that, in a very vague sense, formed a mentor/professional relationship with me. Our interaction overall was brief, but it was exciting to discuss his work with him, ask him questions that had been bothering me-- I told him about myself, my educational and work background. I used my real email and name. My real school. He's Canadian, we talked about it. I shared real details of my life, and while it wasn't necessarily in confidence, I don't think he would appreciate knowing that I've shared his personal thoughts and emails on tumblr, of all places. I'm not lying or hiding anything in my side of the conversation.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified to post anything that could be linked to me. Even posting this, I'm like, "can people like... reverse edit my picture and get my email?" I genuinely don't know.

I worry about posting the full screenshots with his email, knowing people won't believe me if I don't, but not wanting to have these ridiculously immature people in his inbox. I have encouraged people since day one to find his email themselves and reach out. I figure that the only people who would put in that work are the people who genuinely want to learn.

But then I realized that there are people that could ruin the relationship I made with him.

People that could make it so that I can never contact him in this way again.

People could use this to find me, if they get Colin Ross talking. (The rational part of my brain says he's smart enough not to give someone else my name, but goddamn, some of you people are actually dangerous)

There are people that want to do that to me. People that hate that I even brought a professional into this conversation. And I get it. I sat on the original conversation for almost three years, remember?

It's really scary to admit you're wrong, that you've been close-minded and hardheaded. It's scary to confront your bias and actions.

But having him respond to me... I feel so lucky? Not that Colin Ross is a saint, but how often do you get to meet someone like him? How often do you have a chance to take advantage of a professional contact that seems willing and happy to have these kinds of conversations with you? Three years later and he remembered me. He took the time to answer me, again.

I don't want to fuck that up.

So I thought about reaching out to certain people, showing them the entire set of emails without any blockout and having them vouch for the authenticity.

Then I realized that I wouldn't trust any of you anti endogenic systems with any of my information after how you've all behaved.

And I realized that none of you are going to change your minds, no matter what I show you, and I'd rather to maintain my professional relationships than put any more effort into any of you.

And I know if I wait too long to post this, people will call it fake, so I either need to go ahead and make this post or just kind of let it disappear into obscurity.

It's so important, though.

Isn't it?

I can't tell anymore.

[sidewayspeace444]

Yeah, you make a good point about her NYC post because that happened last summer and her and her friends well documented their NYC stay in a hotel.

Let’s say 🐟 really does live in NYC part of the year, LA the other half. In Jan and March 2024 she herself stated in two interviews she lives in these two cities because they provide more working opportunities.

At the GQ man of the year event where she refused to talk to reporters, the news had her living abroad for years and returning home for a bit 🤣

So if she’s been living abroad for “years” and it’s between LA/NYC, then how come her friends have to stay in a hotel when they come visit? Or is her place too small to house them? But isn’t she married to a multi millionaire who’s been building a house on every continent for her since they met?

What narrative is true?

And now that he’s actually in NYC filming - and has been for the past month, she’s suddenly back in MA or PT looking at stars and drinking in bars?

But isn’t she also heavily pregnant?

Or is she working on a secret project and has been filming in PT this whole time also while pregnant??

Do you see how the narrative of where she is constantly changes when one side can’t make their narratives work?

For the last year they insisted she was settling down in the woods to be a housewife and start a family.

Suddenly she’s showing up in PT at red carpets and LA at after parties and telling the press she lives in NYC and LA and is focusing on her career. Her agents are helping her weed out projects and she’s being picky about it because she wants longevity.

Then the narrative changes to she’s living in his LA house because she can go to auditions this way.

Then she’s shopping in NYC and going to set because he’s there.

Then she’s back in MA driving around because he’s back there.

Then she’s pregnant and she hasn’t been seen for months so that must be true.

Then she’s in PT drinking at a bar so now if she’s drinking maybe she’s not pregnant anymore and must be attending the Taylor tour with her husband. But when has she even mentioned she was Taylor fan? Is he even a Taylor fan?

funny how the moment people found out the materialists was filming in upstate NY suddenly the upstate NY house gets brought up again and then when nothing comes to fruition it’s pics of the wedding due to windows and blurry backgrounds of other ppl’s photos.

My gut tells me that whenever 🐟 gets cocky she’s suddenly focusing on her career and is independent. When her auditions don’t go well and she doesn’t get any work or promotion attention, she hides so people can talk about whether or not she’s around her husband. When her husband gets work attention or public knowledges of his whereabouts, then blogs get anons of her being at the places that he is. When she has nothing to post about or even troll about she pretends to care about random causes or her home country where she couldn’t be bothered to promote any of her past year local projects or show up to their red carpets or film premieres. But she can post her outfit and GRRM for a GQ event and a PT director winning at Cannes.

Priorities. She goes where the clout is.

I think I remember Justin creating a huge post about how he wasn’t a Taylor Swift fan last July?

[heythere-emberhere]

There’s an undeniable no Voldy AU floating in the abyss of my brain in which Wolfstar has a daughter who brings Draco Malfoy home one summer after his parents spent all of Spring term telling him they’d ship him off to Durmstrang or worse if he fucked up again. Standing in their kitchen, she looks Sirius dead in the eyes and says, “You know exactly what it’s like to be raised by people like Lucius and Narcissa. How could you of all people expect me to turn him away?” Sirius is just utterly shell shocked because, like, yes ofc he knows. He just wasn’t expecting his darling little girl to bring home a lost-looking Malfoy. Remus is laughing in the background with James (who just happened to be cooking breakfast in their home when they woke up to find their daughter sneaking in with the Slytherin boy) because “Damn, she’s got him there. Better go set up a guest room.”

Shit totally hits the fan when Harry pops up from the couch in the living room, “And you really think he’ll actually sleep in a guest room?”

[danieyells]

Rui mizuki’s lines from Tokyo debunker if you haven’t yet PLEASE I will love you for all eternity

They’re edging me with the rui crumbs every chapter I can’t take it anymore

One flirty reaper coming right up!! And by right up i mean almost a week after you asked hhahaha

BUT YEAH WE DO GET A LITTLE OF HIM HERE AND THERE i wonder why he pops up so much. Especially for someone who allegedly tries not to be around other people much due to his deadly touch? Kinda sus--

also this is the first time i've posted all of someone's lines! not that i don't always end up posting 95% of them anyway, but for some reason some of Rui's were ordered weird(they're normally not entirely in order but they're usually sectioned properly, but for some reason one of his affinity chats was way in the wrong place) and I ended up closely paying attention to which one i was looking at and before i knew it i posted all of them lmao. . . .

You've Got Mail:

"Huh? Did you know you've got unread messages? Oh, that's why you've been leaving me on delivered! Ahaha!"

no that's just because my adhd makes me hyperfocus on things and it refuses to allow me to attempt to allot attention or energy to things it deems me not having enough attention span or energy or time for and i'm sorry--

Default:

"Aw c'mon Ed, again? Why does he always leave his socks on the floor... It's actually exhausting picking up after him all the time..."

lazy sloppy vampire lol

"You look kind of tired {PC}, you doing okay? Why don't you stop by the bar later? I can be your shoulder to cry on."

"Hey! You on break now? If you're super nice and you're gonna come chill with me now, put your hands up!"

"{PC}...were you just checking me out? Hey, it's all good, don't be embarrassed!"

"Oof, Ed popped out of nowhere so I accidentally touched him and he died again. Now I have to carry him all the way back to the dorm..."

i love the face he makes when he says this lmao like he is so tired of Ed's carelessness!

ignore that he's in the casino i always have my background set there since i usually have taiga as my hs

Affinity 1:

"{PC}! Did you come here to see me first thing? No way! You just made my day!"

Affinity 2:

"Aw c'mon, Ed, what are you doing sleeping out here? Didn't you just take a nap, old man? You're gonna catch a cold!"

Affinity 3:

"Oh hey, it's {PC}! Can't believe I ran into you here, so random! Guess we've gotta go on a date now, huh? It's like, written in the stars!"

i love flirty characters like rui lolol just. there's always More Going On there. and Rui starts off with More right off the bat.

Affinity 4:

"I can touch the plants as long as I have gloves on! I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure the same goes for people, but don't you think it'd be scary to test it out?"

Affinity 5:

"Come swing by the bar later! I'd rather watch a pretty face like yours while I work instead of a bunch of drunk guys."

Affinity 6:

"What? Ed was praising my good looks? I mean he's right, right? People always tell me my face is my only redeeming feature!"

but rui works so hard!? who's saying that!!

Affinity 7:

"Oh sorry, I don't do the whole class thing! You go, I'm all good here!"

Affinity 8:

"Ouch! Aw man, that rose thorn just scratched my arm... Wait, nooo! My rose bushes are wilting!!"

it's so easy for him to accidentally kill anything lmaoooo

Affinity 9:

"Are you out here by yourself, {PC}? Isn't that like not super dangerous? ...Wait, did that make sense? Whatever, let me walk you back!"

Affinity 10:

"Sorry! A drunk customer broke a glass, so I'm cleaning it up! Everyone's a little pent-up lately, I guess."

Affinity 11:

"Watering plants in the AM is such a mood lift, right? Whoa, everything's blooming like crazy out here! Better get my pruning shears."

it's a testament to how well he takes care of these plants that they grow super well in permanently-night Obscuary, i think. 8'D

Affinity 12:

"Huh? Look, you've got loose threads on your uniform. Give it to me, I'll fix it for you!"

Affinity 13:

"Hey, {PC}, did you eat yet? My door's always open! You can just stay the night after!"

damn already inviting you to stay over at affinity 13--just don't share the bed, you'll wake up super dead

Affinity 14:

"(yawn) Wow, I am dead tired... but I've gotta take a shower, make breakfast, and do the laundry before those two sleepyheads get up."

it takes a real man to be a single mother. . . .

Affinity 15:

"Oh hey, what's your poison? Wait, I mean, morning! Man, I tried to take my friend's drink order when we were hanging out yesterday too, occupational hazard I guess."

Affinity 16:

"A mission? I'm good, thanks though! Oh hey, you should invite Lyca! He'd totally be into that!"

Lyca also probably needs them to pass the grade lol

Affinity 17:

"No way, look at the time! Wish I could keep listening to you talk... Wanna stay over?"

Affinity 18:

"Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm closing early, I've got plans with a friend tonight. It'd be awesome if you could come by tomorrow!"

Affinity 19:

"Congrats on making it through another day, {PC}! I seriously admire you for working so hard. You're not doing this all for me, are you?"

Affinity 20:

"Morning! Whoa, you wanna help me with the housework, {PC}? It's all good, thanks though! The thought's more than enough for me."

c'mon, refusing help at affinity 20? let the pc be your little helper at least!

Affinity 21:

"Obscuary looks like it'd be full of downers, but it's actually pretty lively in there, right? Not gonna lie, I def prefer it that way."

Affinity 22:

"Lyca's an open book, but the flip side is he says the darndest things... I feel like watching him is bad for my heart..."

he talks so much about his teammates, he really is such a mom. . . .

Affinity 23:

"My eyes are red? Huh, that's weird... Oh yeah, I was cutting onions just now when I was preparing the appetizers for the bar!"

. . .idk this is pretty high affinity. . .you were crying about something weren't you rui. . .or romeo paid you in weed and you were getting tweaked up in the back of the bar

Affinity 24:

"Oh, don't worry about me, I always sleep late! I'm down to chat till you drift off to dreamland."

Affinity 25(max):

"Sometimes I wish I could've met you as a regular guy. I guess you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I had though, ahaha."

is it just me or. . .does it feel like he gets a little more distant as his affinity gets higher? like after affinity 17 it feels like he gets a little less flirty and a little more at arms length. . .like he knows his feelings are getting so strong that he might not be able to resist touching you, but he's too scared to do it even with the gloves on. . .so he tries to keep you a little further away. . .and then he admits it, he wishes he could be with you like a normal person, but if he were just some flirt in the street none of this would have ever happened. Poor Rui, he's cursed to be beloved but unable to give love how he wants in return.

Spring:

"Oh man, so nice... The weather's like perfect this time of year, right? Wish we could just chill like this forever."

"Man, you wouldn't even know it was spring with how bleak it is in Obscuary! Aren't there any cuter anomalous plants out there?"

"I feel like Ed's getting more senile every day... Maybe I should confiscate his tablet."

"So, what do you think of my spring-inspired cocktail? Almost as cute as you, right? I'm gonna add it to the menu!"

Summer:

"C'mon! It's summer, how can the sun never rise in Obscuary!? I wanna get a tan!"

"It's not summer if you don't hit the beach! I used to go all the time back when I surfed. And then I'd pick up girls on my way home... Just kidding, I promise!"

why 'just kidding' lolol you're not together! this relationship is not monogamous even if you were!

"Ta-da! I've got sparklers! Fireworks are fun and all, but there's something special about holding a light that only sparkles for a hot moment."

"It's so hot out, I bet the bar's gonna be a ghost town... Guess I'll send Harurin and Romi a PR message!"

reaching out to the local population of alcoholic ghouls to remind them to give him business lol

Autumn:

"There's so many dead leaves this time of year, it's a nightmare keeping on top of them! But you can use them to make a fire and roast stuff. Gotta look on the brights!"

"Hey {PC}, when are you free? I have a date idea for us—a romantic walk to admire the fall leaves! I'll pack us a lunch!"

"Oh damn! You look so cute all bundled up like that, {PC}! We've gotta take a selfie together!"

direct contrast to romeo who sees you in winterwear and calls you a fat slug kekw

"That piano anomaly makes the soundtrack for the bar! The song picks really tug at the heartstrings, right?"

Winter:

"You're a little late today, huh? If you can't get up in the cold, I could be your alarm!"

just gotta be really loud since he'd be too afraid to touch you awake, since he actually wants you to y'know wake up--

"Oh man, how is Lyca so full of energy when it's this cold? You should take him to Frostheim and see if he runs around in the snow like a puppy."

rui pointing at lyca: that dog is my son please take care of him

"Nothing like winter to make you miss the warmth of human touch... Oh, I'm good! Just getting to talk like this is all I need!"

BBY WE ARE ALL BUNDLED UP. YOU CAN HUG YOU'VE BOTH PROBABLY GOT ON AT LEAST TWO LAYERS JUST DON'T TOUCH FACES.

"Here, this Rui-original hot cocktail will warm you up! I'll blow on it for you, free of charge!"

is this the next step after gamer bathwater. host club host breath.

His birthday:

"Yeah, it's my birthday today! Oh damn, you're gonna celebrate it with me!? No way, I'm like, super touched right now!!"

Your birthday:

"{PC}... Happy birthday!! C'mon, birthday girl, sit down and chill out! This is your day, you should take it easy!"

New Years:

"Happy New Year! Want to start the year off on a high and come on a shrine date with me?"

Valentine's Day:

"Oh damn, are these for me? My heart! Is this your way of professing your love to me? Do I have a shot here?"

White Day:

"Ta-da! Happy White Day! This is for you! What's inside? You've gotta open it and find out!"

April Fool's Day:

"Guess what!? I finally broke my curse! Let's hold hands... just kidding! April Fools!"

this feels more like a joke on him than on you. . .a mean one at that lol

Halloween:

"Happy happy happy Halloween!! Trick or treat! Obviously I'm picking trick, ahaha!"

Christmas:

"Merry Christmas, {PC}! Oh man, I must be like, super blessed to get to spend it with you!"

Idle:

"Hey, hey, hey! We finally get to spend some time together, it's illegal to take your eyes off me!"

"{PC}? You seem kind of busy, guess I'll take this chance to get some work done…"

Absent:

"{PC}, you're back! I was worried you'd forgotten about me!!"

he's so flirty and clingy, but also he can't be clingy because he's scared you'll die if he touches you, even if he's wearing gloves. . .also surely your curse would cancel out his? Then again I'm sure a reaper i stronger than any other [living] anomaly out there. . . .

but. yeah. rui's a darling haha he just. he's another one of the 'i just wanna be a regular person, i wanna go back to normal' characters whose desire to just be a guy makes him special in a more fantastical world. i'm really looking forward to seeing the Obscuary chapter--probably like a month away, right? 'u'

[xonavia]

Hello!! How are you? I hope youre doing well!! :D

Could i request reo, nagi and rin having a crush on professional volleyball player!fem reader that is quiet and a bit intimidating?

Have a nice day!! (⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)

Hii! I'm doing good! So excited for the last week of school but I'm swamped with end of year tests 😭 And I hope you have a great day/night as well!! So sorry it took me a while to get around to writing your request, and I hope you enjoy!!<3

Reo Mikage -> Is most likely a little intimidated when he first met you but when he realized that you were actually sweet and just a little quiet he wasn't as nervous -> Kinda excited that your also an athlete, since you know about the harsh trainings and when he went through the Nagi thing about teammates and things like that -> Will buy you things that you need, even if you make your own money, since ya know being all professional and stuff, but still does try to swipe that card when you're not looking -> Will come to your tournaments, and will invite you to all his games, unless you two have something else going on were you can't make it but he really does try -> Being in the news, both as professional athletes you most likely are in the news together, but it's fine, everybody thinks y'all are cute together, even if they only see the RBF face that you normally have -> When you're done with your games and stuff has actually had to convince a couple of your fans that you're not as mean as you may look -> Overall, y'all are really cute and even cuter behind closed doors after a practice, for either one of you and are just laying together, maybe in silence, maybe the background noise of a TV show playing Nagi Seishiro -> Probably just gave you a weird look when he first met you, I mean you did look a little scary to him, maybe it's just an athlete thing.. -> He kinda related you and Barou in his mind and at first, even if you looked nothing alike besides the fact you had a little bit of an intimidating expression -> A little more intrigued when he realized that you were also an Athlete, I mean somebody else to understand his pain of always being sore and not wanting to go to practice, right?? -> When he finally met you though and realized that you weren't as intimidating as you seemed and were actually quite quiet he was a little off put but soon learned that you weren't anything like Barou -> Has possibly tried to convince to skip practice and stay home, but if you say no, he'll actually get up and try to work on something with you, but if you say yes then he'll cuddle up to you and just sit there in silence -> Both you and Nagi have faces that kinda seem to have faces that don't really tell you what you're thinking on the inside, so you're def a hard to read couple, and most people don't even know your dating -> But once when an interviewer mentioned his need to be somewhat close to you at events he just outright said that you two were actually dating Rin Itoshi -> Also looks pretty intimidating, so y'all work well together -> The media's favorite RBF athlete duo -> Anywho, kinda loves the fact that you are also an athlete, I mean (again) you understand the amounts of training that he has to undergo, and with like ball control and stuff -> Loves when you two talk about what you've been working on, and even when he doesn't fully understand what you mean by "setting to outside hitter" or "Jump serves" he does still try his best to start understanding -> Likes going to your games, and trying to understand what the hell you were talking about -> Also likes when you show up to his games, even if he never actually shows it -> Loves learning about your sport even if you don't always talk about it, and even if he never actually shows it, also tries to include some of the things that you tell him about your sport into his, kinda like a little memento towards you

[starringjazz]

My only love

Imagine coming home to your boyfriend gaming and he’s not paying attention to you. So of course you’re gonna go to him and straddle him. You put your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. He turns to you, “Good morning love”.

You smile and embrace him. You live in a cozy apartment with your boyfriend. He always cooks breakfast and you clean, but today he was playing. “Morning!” “Oooo can I playyyyy”

You get on his lap and he lends you the controller.

“Ahhh there’s people!” He guides your hands to kill the opponent. SoundCloud music is playing in the background. He grabs your waist and pushes you down on his clothed member.

“Ngh” you mewl as his hard on his pressing into your pussy. You pay attention to the screen and try to find loot.

“Quit squirming” he says. He gently grabs your chin and says,” Focus on the screen baby”.

You squirm again. “I’m trying but you’re ha— you’re distracting me— mmh!”

He grabs your waist and starts to grind and you both climax together. A hot, steamy makeout session follows.

Gojo, megumi, Bakugo, todoroki, Kazuha,xiao, ayato, and any of your favs

[gumnut-logic]

Scott was finalising a spreadsheet from hell when he was interrupted by a curse in Gaelic?

At least he thought it was Gaelic. Whether it was Irish, Scottish or some other dialect, he didn’t have a clue. But in any case, he was pretty sure he knew why.

Only one thing pissed off John enough to go for the ancient languages.

Scott thumbed his collar. “Yes, Thunderbird Five?”

There was a growl followed by a giggle in the background.

Scott rolled his eyes. So Eos was in on it this time.

Great, just great.

“Thunderbird Five, location on our bogey.”

“Your ‘bogey’ is on the residential balcony.”

Oh, yes, John was not happy at all.

“FAB, Thunderbird Five.”

He stood up with a sigh and stretched a few kinks out of, well, everything. He’d been out on a rescue early this morning – some unrecovered ordinance in the hands of the wrong people had levelled a building or two. Virgil had been the one swearing over that one.

Fortunately, it had been in an abandoned mine complex and while the idiots, playing with what they shouldn’t, got themselves into some strife, no one else was endangered. IR had saved and delivered them to the nearest hospital and law enforcement.

Virgil had had so many words.

Scott had shared some of those words with those in need of knowing and they’d all returned home for lunch.

Two was called out halfway between Virgil’s midday coffee and the sandwich Scott had prepared for him.

Suffice it to say, his steadfast brother wasn’t having a great day. Scott had offered to come with, but Virgil had waved him off. A glance at Gordon and his fish brother had run off after Virgil, inserting himself into the equation with his usual grin.

Gordon would either cheer up Virgil or blow him up. Either would fix the problem.

So it had been with that in the back of his mind, and on his tablet while he worked, keeping an eye on his two brothers as they discovered the second piece of unclaimed ordinance for the day.

Virgil was going to be fun to listen to tonight.

But it wasn’t Virgil he had to listen to right now.

Working out the kinks, Scott jogged up the stairs to the residential areas and, with a sigh, strode out onto the balcony.

As expected, Tony was lazing in one of the loungers, drinking…

“That’s my best scotch you’re chugging, you know.”

Still dressed in his Ironman suit, Tony looked up and over his shoulder. “Thanks for stocking it.”

Scott rolled his eyes for the second time and took a seat in the lounger next to the man. “You’ve pissed off John again.”

Tony took a sip. “My life has purpose.”

Scott turned to him in exasperation. “You do realise what John is capable of?”

“Eh, Jarvis and Eos have an understanding. Heh, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were dating.”

“You really have a death wish, don’t you.” It was not a question.

His fellow billionaire turned to him at that. “What? You think the fuddley-cuddley Tracys are even on my radar? I got bigger fish to fry. Dream on.”

“Watch it, Stark.”

“Oh, I’m shivering in my boots.”

“You are an ass.”

“Fully qualified.”

“So what do you want?”

“Your tech.”

“We’ve had this discussion.”

“Yes, we have. And I know for a fact that none of you Tracys are cool enough, much less smart enough, to have come up with all this.” His hand, not occupied with a glass of Scott’s scotch waved dramatically.

“Stark…”

Stark’s face twisted. “Bruce wants a playdate with Virgil.”

“You’re not on his favourites list today. We had more unaccounted for ordinance this morning. This time in Texas.”

An arched eyebrow. “And pretty little tech it was.”

“It levelled an entire mining facility. If it had been let loose in a populated area people would be dead.”

“Fury’s working on it.”

“Yeah, sure.” Okay, so perhaps, Scott was being a bit hard on the Shield branch of the GDF, but damnit there had been so many casualties due to discarded Chitauri weaponry amongst other things that the department claimed to have under control.

“I don’t see you out there fixing the problem.”

“We’re out there every day! Cleaning up your messes.”

“While we’re saving your asses.”

“Yes, thank you for that, but we’re busy saving everyone else every time Thor throws a party, or Bruce has a bad day.”

“We’ve had this discussion.”

Yes, they had and this conversation was getting them nowhere. Old grudges.

Old friendships.

“So, we’re all doing our best. How can we do better?”

“And there’s my goodie-two-shoes Tracy.”

“Shove it, Stark.” Scott stood up. “I’ve got better things to do.”

“Scotty, Scotty, Scotty.”

Scott grit his teeth. “What the hell do you want?”

“A chat with your gurus.” He laid back on the lounger. “And a holiday. This is the only place on the planet Fury can’t reach me, you know.”

The thought of the Avengers on Tracy Island was just…no.

“Find your boy band its own tropical island. Don’t you have three in the Caribbean?”

“Sure, but none have Tracys on them. Well, unless you’ll lend me one unsupervised.” Tony grinned up at him.

“In your dreams, Stark.”

The billionaire sighed and, putting down his glass, rolled to his feet.

Scott looked down at him. It was juvenile, but he’d known Tony since they were kids and while Tony boasted his smarts, Scott had always towered over him.

It wasn’t a big thing, but Scott was going to work with what he had.

Stark poked him in the chest with one metal clad finger. “Look, I know we’ve had our…” He waved his head as if looking for a word that Scott knew he didn’t have to look for. “…differences. But we want the same thing. To keep everyone safe. Now my team is doing what is necessary, same as you. Bruce thinks he needs one of your boys to help. Cap agreed. You gonna share or be an ass?”

Scott eyed him calmly. “I know which you chose.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Tracy, I’m trying to do good here.”

Scott had to give him that. Ever since IR had yanked him out of that kidnap/terrorist scenario in Afghanistan, Tony had been doing his best.

It was also the reason why Scott was talking to him and not Kayo. No doubt his sister had every sensor trained on the man this very moment. She and John were very much of the same opinion in regards to Tony Stark.

Both got seriously pissed each time Stark breached their security without even trying.

Perhaps there was something they could share.

Scott straightened. “I’ll think about it.” He paused and let the hope drip into Tony’s expression. “If you let John and Kayo know how you get through our security.”

Ironman blinked. “Sure.” He shrugged as if he didn’t care. Which he probably didn’t. It would only give him the opportunity to work out another way to skip through their sensor net. John and Tony had been rivals for years.

One enjoying it far more than the other.

If Five had lasers like Two, Tony might not exist any more.

Note to self: Keep John out of Two while working with the Avengers.

Hell, keep John in space.

But there was the truth of it. Tony knew the answer Scott was going to give because since the man had turned back from the dark side, they were on the same team.

And goodie-two-shoes Tracy didn’t have a choice because right was right, no matter who you had to play with.

His father’s voice chanted in the background something about saving all who need saving.

But you can’t save them all, Scott’s stubborn streak replied in a manner that statement wasn’t quite intended for.

Tony grinned at him and picked up his drink again and chugged the last of the scotch.

“Good talking with you Tracy. I’ll let Brucie know he can come and play.” And with that, Ironman threw on his helmet and took off from the balcony, leaving scorch marks in the hardwood, and disappeared into the blue, blue sky.

Scott grunted. Next time he visited Avengers Tower there was going to be so much accidental thruster damage on their landing platform.

“John, update on Two?”

“Finished and on their way home. They’ve been warned about Stark in the area.”

Another grunt.

At least Tony wouldn’t attempt to vandalise Two again. Certainly not after last time. And besides, he obviously wanted Virgil’s help, so would likely be on his best behaviour.

A sigh.

“John, track Stark out of our airspace and let him go.”

“Scott-“

“I said ‘let him go’.”

He got a grumbled FAB in return before the line cut.

Scott strode back inside and headed down to security to weather the storm that was no doubt happening down there. Better to unwind Kayo before winding up half the family about working with the Avengers.

Yet another sigh.

This was going to be fun.

In every other sense of the word.

-o-o-o-

[violetthekiller]

Coming back to the tiktok someone sent you yesterday about the bio in the programme. I watched it in its entirety and they're actually saying that the reason why they put a very long bio is because they had to overcompensate for the fact Tom has no background in Shakespeare Theater compared to Fran. Her is shorter and more efficient because it speaks for itself, she did Macbeth and Othello. Tom has nothing so they had to name drop all his costars to fill the void

The creator said that he's getting poor reviews for his performance (presenting it as a general statement but it's not the majority in reality, on this point I disagree). Basically saying if people wanted to be upset at the casting, it should be more against Tom and not her because he doesn't have the chops to do Shakespeare. I personally can't speak on that because I haven't seen his performance but the truth is Shakespeare is indeed extremely hard to master so I'm not shocked if experts think he can't do it (not that he's not a good actor, but not a good actor for Shakespeare).

That brings me to my second point : I'm happy he seems to enjoy the play, even more happy that Fran is getting her flowers where it matters, but I'm starting to wonder if Romeo and Juliet was a good choice for his return to the stage. Many pointed out he's great with his physicality, acting better with the physical acting and less with the delivery of the lines (because again, Shakespeare is very specific). He is a great actor but out of all the plays, this one was risky. And that's probably why he wanted to do it (😅), but I'm starting to think he would've shine even more in another non Shakesperian role because he has stage presence, but not trained enough for Shakespeare

i don’t agree with that at all. them listing all his roles is sort of the point of an actors bio in a program. sometimes they name drop co-stars/directors if it shows the prominence of the project. for example, this production will likely be listed as Jamie Lloyd’s Romeo and Juliet (Duke of York’s Theatre) on the cast resumes

a bio is basically like the filmography section on actors wikipedia pages. it’s inevitable that someone who’s been working for over 10 years will have more credits than someone that’s only been working for a couple. Fran’s other credits just happen to be other Shakespeare plays and she is therefore more familiar with working with that type of script

Tom’s bio has obviously been fleshed out and expanded because of the nature of him being a large focal point for the promotion of the play. i really don’t think it’s been done to somehow ‘over-compensate’ for his ‘lack of ability to do Shakespeare’. especially considering you have to buy the programs to even see the actors bios so theoretically not a single person in the audience one night could’ve even looked at it

could it have probably been slimmed down significantly? yeah. but i think making up theories that it’s there to essentially distract from his performance (which has been reviewed extremely well alongside Fran’s and the rest of the casts) is a bit of a stretch

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 1

I've thought about where I would have placed 38 Minutes (S01E04) that seemed to fit ill so early in the season, and I think it would have made the most sense between the mid-season two-parter and The Defiant One (S01E11), discussed here.

The Genii siege visibly changes something between Sheppard and McKay, and we get to resolve that a little too fast in this episode that follows directly after. 38 Minutes has that strange almost-confession to Weir,* which would have made more sense here as Weir and Sheppard seem to grow closer at the end of The Eye (S01E10) although, I argue, it is precisely because Sheppard needed to create distance between himself and McKay that they did. He was using Weir to create distance, in effect hiding behind her, because Kolya figured out after like a minute of talking to Sheppard that McKay was the best way of getting to him. Sheppard was reminded of the fact that being important to him put McKay in mortal danger.

In 38 Minutes, we also have Sheppard's own near death experience and everyone working so very hard to save him, McKay worrying so much about him, the way that they look at each other, that something unspoken lingering between them, McKay's agitation over what ever Sheppard wanted to tell Weir; all of that would have made sense between these two episodes. The Iratus bug could have symbolized Sheppard's internal anguish: the way he's in agony at first and then the pain gets so bad that he gets numb and loses all feeling. It all would have made so much sense.

But regardless, we start the episode with a driving flying lesson (which, incidentally, also would have made the most sense following the events where both Sheppard and the other designated pilot were incapacitated at the same time). McKay received the ATA gene therapy and Sheppard is teaching him how to fly the puddle jumper. Where the previous episode ended with Sheppard very clearly wanting to create distance between them, here they are all cozy with each other again. Or s it seems.

Clearly, this is important. As mentioned previously, they need more pilots since there are few people with the ATA gene (two that we know have the real gene, a few others through gene therapy), and only a fraction of them know how to fly. It's important not only for the mission and taking the pressure off the commander having to do transport flights, it's also important for the team to have another person capable of doing it. And apparently neither Teyla nor Ford are able to do it (toward the end of the episode, they have a random soldier having to fly them over) which makes McKay not only the best choice but also the only one.

So whether he wanted to or not, what ever he was feeling inside, teaching Rodney how to fly the jumper was something that needed to be done. And here we are.

What Sheppard says is very interesting.

Granted, we don't know anything about his background at this point, often the way people talk to others reveals a lot about how they've been talked to in the past. It indicates that when ever he did something wrong as a child, he was corrected by snapping at him. My guy, you're in space. What could possibly happen if he lets go of the controls? You're going to veer off and crash into some more space?

It's also notable that he uses 'parents' instead of 'dad' or 'father' (both being that he is a guy and as dads are much more likely to be the one teaching kids how to drive; also, he himself was clearly taught by a driving instructor but teaching your kids how to drive is actually pretty common, it's a loving thing to do, and parents are supposed to be teaching their kids even in the case that they have an instructor, as kids learn by watching their parents whether they want it or not). So, you know. He has a mysterious past and a sad childhood, looks like.

Granted, McKay also seems to have had a pretty crappy childhood and, what's worse, seems to think it was all completely normal. We hear him reveal all manner of child abuse casually, here and there. It seems that they both were lonely and sad but for different reasons. McKay's immediate gut response "Snapping doesn't help!" is likewise telling, indicates that there was a lot of pressure put on him from a very young age.

Sheppard's use of the word 'parent' also creates distance between him and one or both of his parents. This man has been court-martialed, he has clearly been traumatized by something. He does not think he has anyone waiting for him back on earth. We know at this point that several people he served with have died, and that he blames himself for every one of these deaths. And he's not good at dealing with emotions, especially difficult ones. He says as much in Sateda (S03E04):

Sheppard: Look, Teyla. I'm not really good at, uh... Actually, I'm... I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you'd call it, uh... Teyla: Feelings? Sheppard: Yeah, sure,

He is terrible at expressing feelings. He especially has trouble verbalizing them.

When he is feeling difficult emotions, he uses self-soothing techniques (see the lip thing). One of these self-soothing techniques is creating distance between himself and the object of his emotion. So, instead of father he says parent (mom+dad) because he essentially uses the less significant, less painful thing (mom) to conceal the more significant, more painful thing (dad). Using the less significant object to create distance to the more difficult object forms like a barrier between him and an emotion he does not want to or can't face or deal with just then. Just like, in the previous episode, he used "Weir and McKay" instead of McKay. He was using the less significant, less important thing to mask the more significant, more important thing. It lessens the impact of the emotion attached to it. We see him do this a lot especially in connection to Rodney ("Even Rodney"). Again and again and again.

You can see him do the self-soothing lip thing before engaging McKay (like he's not sure he should say anything, like he wants to not have to say anything; he just can't help himself when it comes to this man):

Here, he is creating distance between himself and one or even both of his parents (and let's face it, it's probably the dad) but he's also, at the same time, creating distance between himself and McKay both by using the passive voice and lumping McKay into the category of kids. See previous episode as to why he desperately needs this distance between them.

But what he is actually saying here is that he is emotionally too close to McKay to be able to be an effective instructor to him. That's what he is saying. He's emotionally compromised. Now, whether you think his feelings are fatherly (he does not look at McKay the way a father looks at a son), friendly (he does not look at McKay the way a friend looks at a friend), collegial (he does not look at McKay the way he looks at Ford and Teyla), or whether you believe he thinks of himself as McKay's second uncle third removed, this is what he's saying in the scene. That he's too close to McKay to be able to teach him. He feels that he is too close to McKay.

It's possible that the whole reason as to why he's teaching McKay how to navigate the jumper is that it would allow him not to have to accompany him on these kinds of missions, harmless and scientific. If McKay knows how to fly a jumper, they would be able to spend less time together. Spending less time together would mean less emotion, would mean less pain, less of a chance for him to get McKay hurt or killed. This is foolish to think, of course, since absence has a tendency of making the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes. But we saw him start creating this distance between them at the end of The Eye (S1E10) and this is on par, is a logical continuation of that.

Humour, as it turns out, is another way of creating distance and coping with difficult emotions.

We are again reminded of the fact that McKay does not know not to keep it straight. Sheppard can do it in the air but not on land.

So, the thing is. As much as Sheppard wants to create distance between them, Mckay wants the opposite. He wants to connect with the Major. He's not making it easy for Sheppard. In this, he is defying him.

McKay tells Sheppard that he's touched by his sentiment. Keeps glancing at him. He refers to the puddle jumper, for all intents and purposes Sheppard's puddle jumper, as baby. He wants to see what this baby can do. Baby is a term of affection used most often by men to indicate that they see something or someone as soft and beautiful and needing to be taken care of in a gentle way. There is definitely something flirty in McKay using this term for Sheppard's puddle jumper.

But then Sheppard picks this up from McKay and also calls the jumper baby (yes, he's amused by the way McKay said it and ribbing on him, but picking up vocabulary from the object of your affection is yet another classic sign of attraction). They are taking care of the baby together. Parents, kids, babies. Freud probably would have a lot to say about the things they say and their subconscious desires.

Freud might also have something to say about Sheppard's fear that McKay is going to "snap the damn things off" if he doesn't ease up his grip on the control stick. But he doesn't want McKay to take his hands off them, either. He's instructing McKay on exactly how it likes to be held.

(We are also reminded of subconscious desires by the control display popping up, seeing how the puddle jumpers respond to Sheppard's mind; his desires.)

They are accompanied on the mission by two red shirts, random scientists we have never seen before but who we are to believe have worked with McKay previously and know him pretty well.

So, maybe it's because of the intense, borderline erotic look of concentration on McKay's face or his tone of voice, or what ever, Sheppard seems to start gravitating toward McKay. Even in front of two people he barely knows that work for the other man. Here, he turns back to look at Dr. Gaul, clearly amused by how different this scientist is from his scientist, but what he's doing at the same time is lean closer to Rodney:

He looks... turned on, frankly. And he sure as hell is not turned on by Dr. Gaul, sweating though he may be. The reason that he turned back to look at the nauseous scientist behind him might actually have been just to look away from the sex faces McKay is making while he's concentrating real hard.

Then he leans in even closer, to whisper conspiratorially to McKay. And McKay, well. He leans in, as well.

Sheppard: Why'd you choose this guy for the mission? McKay: Brendan's the one who discovered the Lagrange Point satellite was out here. Elizabeth felt he should see it for himself. Sheppard: Don't let go of the controls!

Sheppard snaps in a sudden jolt of panic. And it may not be McKay letting go of the controls that made him do it. It's that he mentioned Elizabeth, reminding him of why he needed to not be that close to Rodney. Just like McKay used Elizabeth's name (yelping "Elizabeth!" in near panic) when Sheppard was getting too close to him in his lab in The Storm (S01E09). They both seem to be using Weir as a... weir between them.

And again, as he will many, many times in the future, Sheppard needs to be touching something, needs to have his hands pressed against something, when he's near McKay:

Then they arrive at their destination and switch seats. They move seamlessly together, Sheppard needs only to mention his name and McKay does exactly what he wants, and is only too happy to oblige. We've seen this happen in movies between a man and a woman. It has never not been erotic (underlined by McKay's line "This thing is enormous!"):

Here, it's McKay that keeps glancing back and back at Sheppard as they're approaching the humongous ancient weapons platform. A weapons platform that should be a pretty interesting thing to look at, all things considered. But his eyes keep on being drawn back to Sheppard who, it should be noted, is wearing only a t-shirt.

Sheppard is trying not to look at McKay, catches himself several times before he does. He's not allowing himself to do it. That's until they come upon the wraith distress call from the planet below.

They look at each other. They communicate in words but they also communicate with their eyes. Suddenly, they are one mind again.

Continued in Pt. 2 (NB this episode focuses entirely on Sheppard and McKay so this is in 10 parts)

.* Actually Weir's whole "I didn't think so!" schtick would have made sense if it was about her knowing that Sheppard had been using her to create distance between himself and Rodney. Like she was telling him that she knows the half-hearted flirty smiles at the end of The Eye weren't really about her (same with the nurse right then) but were an attempt to build a defensive barrier between himself and the thought of losing someone important to him again. Because she knows.

Also, we would just have had a similar confession from Rodney where he was trying real hard to tell something to Weir and she wouldn't let him finish. Those almost confessions would mirror each other.

McKay: If this doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm just saying, if it doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm sure it will, but in the unlikely event that it doesn't, I... Weir: Rodney! Please.

---

Sheppard: Listen, uh, I'd like to say something while I still can. Weir: Don't! You're gonna get through this. Sheppard: If I was ... he wouldn't have let me go. Weir: Who wouldn't have let you go? Sheppard: The Wraith.

Sheppard: What I wanted to say was ... Weir: Save your strength, John, and tell me in person. Sheppard: This is important. Weir: I'm listening.

[neverevan]

This has been on my mind (obviously with everything that's been happening) and I'm curious if I'm alone in it. Do you sometimes think maybe they missed the window with buddie? That it should have happened in season 4 and maybe now they're trying to tell us it's too late? They keep digging the hole deeper for eddie, with shannon being the "the love of his life" he'll never get over and I just wonder if it'll ever make sense again in a way that's not a "consolation" because that would be unfair

so much to unpack here and I doubt you'll like my answer but I'm behind on asks anyway so why the hell not.

so here's the thing.

I am so SO happy that they didn't do buddie in season 4. a rushed season affected by covid with literally one episode lead-up? if we lean into the idea that the shooting/will arc was supposed to be that, that is.

(but mind you that has never been said or confirmed, they floated a bi Buck storyline that got shut down, at which stage we don't even know, could possibly have been before even having a script written for it and way before they even came up with the shooting arc itself.)

but if we lean into that then I would've found it lackluster, personally. I know not everyone holds the same opinions and that's totally fine.

but having two characters who have previously only ever dated and talked about women* suddenly kiss and start dating, without coming out, self-realisation, any other preamble aside from "you almost died/I almost died" which isn't exactly a new predicament for either of these characters...

(*in Buck's case the bi crumbs were huge and I always felt that it could've been a pretty natural progression if they just let us know that actually, Buck was out this whole time it just didn't come up on screen lmao but in all seriousness from a general audience standpoint? having both of them suddenly be together? even though, we had a lot of subtext, I just doubt it would've worked as well as it could work now.)

I mean sure, it might've been just the start and then they could've done a bit more background work for it in season 5, but even if Fox didn't shut it down (again, just a simple bi Buck storyline, not even two main characters on the show suddenly being in a queer relationship or leading up to it at the very least) the risk of not getting renewed for season 5 would've been higher than ever, so for them to leave it hanging at the end of the season would've been unlikely imo.

just to reiterate before moving on: all of the above is based on speculation and what ifs.

and about buddie in this current climate, well... I talked about this extensively so just to keep it short; though I'm more than content if not, I still believe that buddie will become canon eventually.

and ngl I find it kinda frustrating how little faith some of you have in the writing of the show when this season proved more than anything that they are finally back on focusing on the characters and actually have ideas about where to take them instead of having every single one of them running around in circles.

sure, some of the storylines are more than bonkers, but this is 911 and that trend started in season 1, so if you don't like that, then maybe this isn't the show for you. because this season with all the insanity and heartbreak was and is so far, quintessential 911.

both Buck and Eddie are well established, complex characters and they deserve to be taken on a narrative journey separately and together if buddie should happen. yeah, clearly neither character is in a place right now, but what's the rush?

we have at least one more full season ahead of us, that could be more than enough time to take them there.

and I know that anytime I say this there are at least ten people in the notes saying that we had 6 years of lead-up, so it wouldn't be rushed, but I can't help but disagree.

Eddie still has no idea how to be in a relationship and actually be in it. yeah, sure, he and Buck have been playing house for years, but the fact that neither of them seem to recognise that is a big issue on its own. and Buck, for the first time since Abby, is in a good place romantically. like the ship or not, it's canon that he's more content and happy than ever and everyone around him thinks so too.

now, we don't know how long this relationship will last and if/when it'll end and why. but if Buck got the chance to discover this part of himself without trauma and significant pain, with the people around him being supportive and patient, then I don't want Eddie thrown in there with a halfhearted realisation-to-kiss-or-confession within one episode either.

I have trust that if buddie is about to happen, it'll be handled well and in no way, shape or form would it be a consolation prize — especially because Tim is no longer bending over for the bullying of the fans and just goes by his own rules and only gives as much as he wants to. as he should.

honestly, this whole "gimme and gimme now" attitude is so stupid. and frankly, the notion that a popular queer ship would actually have a real chance to go canon has just relatively recently became a thing and now so many people almost feel entitled to it, which then spoils their experience with what's actually going on as a whole.

if your enjoyment of the show is solely dependent on a ship becoming canon? then maybe watch something else, because you're just setting yourself up for heartache, one way or another.