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#seeing him in the epilogue made me so happy that he was well
spacebarbarianweird · 3 months
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OK OK you just gotta hear me on this one,, Astarion and gn reader where reader is little spoon and Astarion can *sense* just how relaxed reader gets. Instead of their pulse racing from his touches they slow down. Muscles relaxed. Happy little sighs.
^^ he can’t handle this btw he’s absolutely fucking bewildered
A Person to Hold
Synopsis: Fluffy post-game epilogue
Tags: fluff
Read on AO3
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Headcanons
He looks at you, unable to stop smiling.
"They deserve happiness. We all do. And I will forever be grateful to have found it with you," Astarion says.
You make a step forward with open arms. Astarion hugs you, closing his eyes like a content cat. 
A mere half year ago these hugs scared him. It was weird. It was scary. What did you want? Did you want to hurt him? Did you want his body?
No.
None of that.
You taught him not to be afraid. You hug him daily and if he occasionally flinches you don’t let him go. You hold him in your arms when he has nightmares and kiss away his tears when it's just too much.
"I feel bad keeping you all to myself! After all, I get to see you every night."
"Are you sure? You won't be bored?"
You kiss his cheek and leave. In a few seconds, you look back, trying to see if he hasn’t changed his mind. 
"Darling, I can spend some time with myself. Go on, go and mingle. And I will be there, when you’re ready. I will always be here, my love."
He hasn’t. Astarion sits down beside a campfire sensing its warmth.
He doesn't feel like talking. He didn't manage to make friends with the others and now can sense hostility from them. He is a vampire. His strength isn’t suppressed by the tadpole and apparently once the vampire's master is dead, spawns become lesser vampires. Astarion doesn't feel the difference, to be honest, but he knows people feel something is off with him.
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters is that he feels good. He has never thought his head might be so clear. He can make a working ambush plan in a blink of an eye and it won't lead to a disaster because he actually can think everything through. He can walk on ceilings and walls again, he regenerates before you manage to notice he is wounded. 
He has the world to explore, places to see, things to do. He is going to make up for all these decades of misery, to bury them under the pile of happy memories.
And he has you.
Probably the weirdest thing that could happen to him.
You, who forgave his lies and manipulations, who gave him the second chance when it was the stupidest thing to do. Who made him believe the world isn’t an evil place. 
You are the first person he sees when returns from his reverie. Your breathing soothes him, so does your heartbeat.
Astarion never had anything. Everything he had a right to was stripped away from him including his own life.
But now he has you.
To hold, to kiss, to talk. 
To travel together, to hunt monsters, to be independent adventurers. You are there to save him from nightmares. And he is there to save you from death.
How could he become so happy?
“I am going to sleep, are you with me or do you want to hunt?” he feels a soft “pat” on his shoulder.
How come he has you?
You are a bit drunk and very sleepy.
“Let’s go to the tent.”
“Good, I got used to sleeping with you by my side.”
Astarion looks around as if ashamed of what he is going to do and, having made sure no one sees you, takes you in his hands bridal-style.
You are weightless to him thanks to the vampiric strength. He could walk many miles carrying you and not getting tired.
In the tent, you get to your bedroll and immediately cover yourself with a thick blanket. Then, you open it a little, inviting Astarion to join.
He takes his clothes off and crawls to your side. The night is warm, so are you. But since you have to share your body heat with him, you sleep under the thickest fur blanket. 
You are his and he is yours. If a year ago someone told him that would be his future he would bitterly laugh.
Astarion presses your back to his chest, placing the chin on your shoulder.
Your muscles relax, the pulse slows down. You are falling asleep in his arms.
"My love, thank you" he whispers in you ear, tugging you closer
“Hm?”
“Thank you for finding me."
You squeeze his hand. “You were worth it.”
He doesn’t want to meditate. He wants to hold you like that until you wake up. Astarion concentrates on your breathing and heartbeat. You are already sound asleep.
“Sleep well, darling,” he kisses your cheek. “We still have plenty of things to do together.” 
--
Tag list
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autistichalsin · 4 months
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NO BUT LISTEN TO ME!!!
HALSIN'S FUCKING EPILOGUE KILLS ME! BECAUSE! Not only do you see how much he is healing, but you also see how much healing he still has left to do!!!
Take this line if the player joins him at the commune:
"Tell me... are you happy with the path we tread together? I took you from a life of high adventure, to one that can be described as anything but. I thought perhaps that seeing everyone once again, and hearing of all that they have been doing... it might awaken some regret, about the life we lead. You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me."
That one statement conveys so much. So much doubt and insecurity. He still doesn't view himself as particularly worth settling down for; and in fact, secretly worries the player is (or will soon discover themselves to be) miserable at it. He has a remarkably modest nature, yes, but this is a step beyond. Even with the player's love and kindness, he is in a similar state to that first romance scene, where he thought one little mistake (wildshaping on accident) would make the player leave him forever. Here, too, he's terrified the player will discover the "truth", that they never actually wanted him, and might even leave him. :(
After the player reassures him:
"Forgive me. This past while has been so idyllic that I almost fear something must go wrong. A fear I shall overcome, trust me. We are amongst friends, in celebration."
"I almost fear something must go wrong."
People with PTSD experience this one a lot. Why are things going so well? What's about to go wrong? He acknowledges he will heal in time, but he still isn't there yet.
"I am glad to hear it. Forgive an old fool in need of a little reassurance. I am still expecting to stir from the dream."
Same as the above. He's waiting to find that none of it is real, that he's still trapped at the Grove in utter isolated misery.
Other dialogues, when meeting up with either a romanced player who didn't go with him, or with a friend player:
"Perhaps that is so for you, but for me? It may be that a peaceful life after so many years of tumult has made me sentimental."
Acknowledging the years of tumult, and the effect they had on him, while also noting the good changes the last six peaceful months have brought him.
"You are right, of course. I am accustomed to dwelling on the past, even when it brought me nothing but unhappiness. You changed that, and gave me the most precious of memories."
This one is one of the most profound of all, especially because Halsin, so many times, tells the player not to regret things, to focus on making a future together, etc. But when it comes to his own traumatic memories, he is still unable to stop dwelling on some of them- "even when it (brings him) nothing but unhappiness."
He's done so much healing in his six months at the commune; you can already tell what a new, happier person he is. He even brings up that his restless, roaming nature has settled now that he has a place he belongs. But you can also see where the traumas have left deeper scars on him that will take much, much longer to heal.
(... And this is why I will NEVER choose any dialogue option for the romanced epilogue EXCEPT FOR "I chose you for a reason, and have never looked back." This man deserves to hear it at least a dozen times a day for the rest of his life. :( )
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galedekarios · 5 months
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gale as a professor at blackstaff academy
i have to say that at first i wasn't too sold on the (then still fanon) idea of a professor ending because of gale's own prior anecdote about being irked by his previous students and their inadequacies.
i thought it might not be a good fit for him as far as professions go.
but reading the epilogue files, i have come around on it.
i think it's just one more way in which he's really grown into himself, become content with who he was in the past, the mistakes he made and what he has learned from them, and the person he wants to be in the future:
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Player: You? A teacher? I'd hardly say you set the best example for impressionable young wizards... Gale: I think it makes perfect sense. devnote: Surprised you wouldn't recognise this, a tiny bit offended you don't trust him to do this Gale: Who better to warn of the perils of misusing magic than someone who was once only a wayward sneeze away from destroying a mid-sized settlement? devnote: playing up to his past a bit, you can imagine this is how he acts with his students Tara the Tressym: Don't remind me of those terrible times, Mr Dekarios. My blood pressure has only just recovered.
a few more cute banters & things we learn about gale and his new teaching position:
tara swipes at students who fall asleep in gale's classes, which he himself doesn't mind. he, too, slept through some of them (like his calishite lessons):
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Player: Perhaps that's a good thing. I'm sure they're far better students than I was... Gale: Ah, so you still remember our little lesson? devnote: A little bit bashful, it was a vulnerable moment for him Gale: 'Teaching' you was hardly an effort at all. Not like my present cohort of apprentices. devnote: Complimentary, pulling the thought back to the teaching element after getting lost in the memory of the moment Gale: They try their best, of course - when they can manage to stay awake. devnote: Not upset by this - he slept through his fair share of classes as a student Tara the Tressym: The cheek of them! Nothing a well-placed swipe from Tara can't fix, though.
2. gale offered to teach more subjects than illusion via simulacra:
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Player: Only a professor? With your expertise, I'd have thought you could teach every kind of magic going... Gale: I did offer, as a matter of fact. devnote: Secretly glad the player thinks so highly of him Gale: However, the Blackstaff insisted I couldn't teach every subject, nor could the simulacra of myself I offered to create for that purpose. devnote: Reluctantly accepts that this was the right decision Gale: So, I've settled for teaching the art of illusion. Magic to confound the senses, to render the impossible into reality, and to allow expression of that most magical attribute of all - imagination. devnote: Selling it a bit - he wants to make sure you appreciate how cool this is
3. gale has told his students about the player's adventures and will invite a player to be a guest lecturer:
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Player: I found the love of my life. I'd say I'm pretty happy. Gale: And I couldn't be happier for you. A fitting reward for the sacrifices you made in getting here. Gale: I've told my students plenty of tales about our escapades. You're something of a hero to them, you know. Gale: I'd be delighted to introduce you to my current cohort - as a guest lecturer, perhaps? I'm sure they'd have plenty of questions for you. Player: It would be my pleasure. Gale: Excellent. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the allure of sharing your expertise. Gale: Of course you'll be most welcome to stay with me in my tower- Tara the Tressym: Ahem. Gale: My apologies, Tara. That would be our tower.
4. his students find him somewhat intimidating due to his backstory with mystra and the orb:
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Gale: Well, that was quite lovely. I'm glad you're as pleased to see me as I am you. Gale: I have to say, I'm quite grateful to just be 'Gale' for the evening. Gale: I fear my students find me somewhat intimidating, due to my erm, explosive former reputation. I seem to put the fear of the gods into them. devnote: He plays up to his reputations a bit, so he isn't overly surprised Gale: Or the fear of Mystra, to be more specific. Gale: I surrendered the Crown of Karsus to her, as I told you I would. And in return, she cured me of the orb at last. Gale: Even now, I struggle to put the feeling into words. It was like exhaling for the first time, after holding my breath for so very long. Gale: Of course, I haven't clarified with my students that the orb is no longer a threat. The legend of my explosive capabilities is an excellent means of controlling a classroom. Too good, if anything.
5. he wants to teach his students that there is fun in studying magic:
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Gale: I spend most of my time trying to convince them how much fun the study of magic can be, but it'd be easier to crack a smile on an intellect devourer than some of my pupils... devnote: Despairing a little, doesn't understand why they aren't all as passionate as he was Player: Or on a mind flayer, perhaps... Gale: Smiling may no longer come easy to you, but I've seen how your tentacles twitch at my jokes. Even the ones I'm not entirely certain I was trying to make... devnote: Last sentence a tiny bit self-conscious, aware that people sometimes find him ridiculous. Gale: Still, I hoped my students might be a little more open to the playful side of such magic.
anyhow, i hope this was insightful to someone! 🖤
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If Only
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pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader
summary: gojo loves you more than anything in the world. all he wants is to have the opportunity to marry you and have a family with you
cw: jjk spoilers
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The feeling of you in his arms. That’s when Gojo Satoru felt at ease most in the world. He didn’t have to worry about curses, curse users, nothing. He could let down his infinity and let you in. Waking up to you every day was pure and total bliss — a feeling he never wants to give up. From going to bed with you every night to waking up to your sleeping form every day.
For once in his life, he felt like he could fully and actually relax so long as he was with you. His time with you mattered as much as his time with his students.
He had plans for the two of you. Despite avoiding giving his clan an heir to follow in his steps, he wanted nothing more than a child with you. He wanted to marry you.
And one day he did. He took you on a walk to a well lit area, got down on one knee, and proposed to you. You had a face full of tears and you excitedly said yes. A grin on his face, he picked you up and twirled you around before setting you down and sliding the ring on your finger.
Despite his clan’s wishes, he held a small, intimate ceremony as he wanted the wedding to be about the two of you. He knew his clan wouldn’t approve of you; you were a normal human who couldn’t see but sense curses. His clan wanted a powerful sorcerer to marry another powerful sorcerer. He thought otherwise. He refused to settle for less than love.
Soon after, you were pregnant with your first child with him. He was ecstatic and made sure to go to every appointment, massaged your hips and back, and even went on midnight craving runs. On days he was away, he’d order them for you.
He absolutely loved it.
The day had finally come once you hit full term — well, the little one was a week late. He was ecstatic. He asked Shoko to deliver his first born child, which she agreed to before she began studying to prepare for the birth.
After 6 painful hours for you (and his hand), your daughter was born. She had your hair and eyes and it was what he wanted in the case that anything were to happen to him.
And the day came. He was fighting against Sukuna. All he wanted to do was go home to you and his daughter. His family.
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He opened his eyes and thought to himself: Ah. That’s right. He never married you, never had a family with you.
He felt the blood pool out of his mouth as he thought back on this. A single tear fell out of his eye as he stared at the sky.
The reason for this is because his fears got the best of him and he left one night, blocking your number and leaving you to find your own happiness away from curses.
Away from the world of jujutsu.
Away from him.
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tags: @mrsyixingunicorn10 @cinnaa-x @xamilarin @cloudsinthecosmos @rivaiken @vr00m-vr00m @shycreatorsandwich @the-fab-killjoy @yoriichiswife @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @nineooooo @aelynaneedsalottathing @phoenix666stuff @surhii
Epilogue can be found here
Jujutsu Kaisen belongs to Gege Akutami
Dividers created by @cafekitsune
©️nerdiel-has-no-braincells 2023 Please do not copy, translate, and post as your own. Reblogs, likes, and comments are ok with me!
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povlnfour · 5 months
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 8
series masterlist | previous part
lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader
landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 207,567 others
landonorris 100th race, p2, and a nice little call with my girl to show off her flexibility. thank you austin
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user3 ‘MY GIRL’🥹🥹🥹
user7 I KNEWWW EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY
user9 lando have you seen what she’s done?
landonorris have friends? yeah pretty happy for her tbh
charles_leclerc p2 because the fia hates lewis and me*
user2 see everyone the boys are fine
landonorris keep crying mate
yourusername i actually hate you so bad rn
yourusername @/charles_leclerc SURE you don’t wanna date me instead?
user1 HELP Y/N AJDJDJSJ
user6 she said i’ve had ENOUGH
charles_leclerc make me that rice dish again and i’ll consider it
landonorris @/charles_leclerc you don’t even know what tteokbokki is called you don’t deserve her😤
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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yourusername from monaco with love
👤 tagged alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc
only people yourusername follows can comment
alex_albon we need to have a serious conversation about how cute lily always looks in the photos you take and yet…. me…
lilymhe that’s just your face baby
charles_leclerc he’s not gonna know what hit him🤫
yourusername you could not have made this sound worse
charles_leclerc i’m quite enjoying being an accessory to internet drama
lilymhe do you know what’s rude? you spend one (1) second with a man and get a dating rumour… yet NOTHING when you hang w me!
yourusername FR we’ve been married for two years atp🙄
landonorris i know a Better place in monaco you can visit🧡
yourusername get your cute butt home and show me then
texts with charles ੈ✩‧₊˚
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y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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y/nupdates y/n at the airport today!! it seems she’s flying out to mexico for the upcoming grand prix 🩷
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user9 seriously? has everyone just forgotten she’s a cheater?
user3 and yet you follow fan accounts of her??? get a life
user7 ur actually miserable. lando hates u.
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y/nupdates any unnecessary hate comments will be deleted and you will be blocked🩷
user8 she’s so pretty even in the rain :( and she stopped to take photos with fans
user1 apparently someone gave her a necklace with an L on it and she put it straight on🥹
user8 @/user1 YOURE KIDDING THATS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY
user1 THEY GAVE HER A MATCHING BRACELET FOR LANDO WITH HER INITIALS ON AS WELL!!!!
landonorris thank you admin for giving me a new lockscreen
user2 OH MY GOD ADMIN
y/nupdates 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 YOU ARE SO WELCOME
landonorris just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚
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tweet 4 should finish: hate towards those close to me*
tweet 6 should finish: blocked by my team**
twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚
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mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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mclaren from p17-p5. not the start to the weekend he wanted but he only went and turned it around🙌🏻
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user2 SO PROUDDDS
user9 all because of her….
user3 HAVE FUN GETTING BLOCKED LMAO
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user6 GUYS I THINK MCLAREN ACTUALLY BLOCKED THEM THE COMMENT ISNT SHOWING UP FOR ME LMAOOO
yourusername that’s my boy
mclaren we heard it had something to do with his lucky charm😉
user3 this isn’t taking a week off ma’am
yourusername had to support the boy. it starts now <3
y/nupdates just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚
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a/n:
OKAY this part was boring i am very sorry BUT there is onE OFFICIAL PART LEFT. it’ll be a long one i warn now but then there may be a mini epilogue of stuff i fully made up for next summer xxxx
thank you all for coming on this crazy ride with me — sorry it’s aLL OVER THE PLACE atm but it makes sense in my head ok
charles au is also otw next week and a one shot lando smau
taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicoranorca @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
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Monster Mayhem: Donkeys & Dragons [Epilogue]
Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 12.9k
Summary: Slay the dragon? Nah, man. Lay the dragon. Or, Dragon Courting traditions are actually very sweet, and they are going to kill you.
A/N: This is the epilogue for Donkeys & Dragons, but it can also more or less be read on its own as well! If you'd like to read only the 7k+ words of fluffier bits and not the spicier, please stop at the section that begins with '“Tell me more about your human courting traditions."'
🌶️🌶️🌶️ WARNING for Spicy Content!
READ WHAT YOU LIKE, BUT BE MINDFUL OF WHAT YOU READ
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [EPILOGUE]
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If Tsunotarou—Malleus, you reminded yourself with a fizzy feeling like soda pop bubbling in your tummy—if Malleus had been sticky before the whole ‘held hostage by dragon slayers’ incident, then now he was the clingiest monstrosity to have ever existed in all four realms.  
“What can you do?” Lilia had hummed indulgently upon seeing you struggle under the weight of an entire ass dragon head. (You had lied down, and then Malleus had lied down. And now his giant, frilled, maw was no better than a paperweight. With you of course being relegated to the role of some very flattened paper). “It’s the honeymoon phase.”
“There is no honeymoon to phase,” you spluttered out, as if that made even a lick of sense.
The demon? Fae? Monster? Horror beyond your comprehension? dainty gentleman just shrugged. He wasn’t always around—only occasionally slipping out of shadows like some creeping wraith. But when he was, he seemed incredibly fond of just propping his pointy chin against his palm and watching the pair of you. Like it was his favorite play, or some gaudy theater production he just couldn’t get enough of.
“I’ve never seen him so happy,” he cooed, crimson eyes soft and smitten. “What a time to be alive, hmm?”
The Gargoyles, as silent or huffy respectively as they often were, seemed to rumble their agreement.
“I won’t be alive for much longer if he keeps squashing me,” you threatened.
“Nonsense,” Lilia chirped from somewhere overhead. He dipped close enough for a moment that you were able to catch a brief flash of pink out of the corner of your eye, but little else. As much as the little monster enjoyed basking in his ward’s romantic endeavors, he seemed particularly cautious about maintaining his physical distance—especially when it came to the towering nest that had long since swallowed up most of the grand ballroom. “I’m sure all his coddling is doing wonders for your constitution.”
Despite his guardian’s cheery reassurances, Malleus rumbled low in his throat at your complaints, and you felt the vibrations of it all the way from your head to your toes. He lifted his huge head, instead plucking you from the hoard of bedding by the scruff of your collar and depositing you into the warm hollow beneath his wing. He curled his head around to tuck up against you—burrowing his scaly cheek against your outstretched legs like a cat making itself comfortable in the sunny spot on a windowsill. A compromise to your aching bones, at least. Even if it was really no less claustrophobic than being used as a chin pillow.
You sighed, hoping it sounded far more put upon than you were sure it actually did, and reached out to trace the grooves in his horns.
“You’re lucky you’re comfortable,” you grouched with no real heat, and he warbled contentedly as he settled in to continue his afternoon nap.
.
.
When your next mealtime rolled around (breakfast, lunch, dinner? Who had a concept of time anymore? Not you, that’s for sure), you plopped yourself at the little, makeshift, table you’d managed to construct out of some debris, and waited patiently for whatever culinary monstrosity was about to grace  your palette this fine day.
Malleus claiming that he’d been going to see Lilia to ask after your ‘delicate, human, diet’ because the little demon ‘knew what he was doing,’ had turned out to be the worst joke ever put into existence. Made worse yet by the fact that he didn’t even realize it until one of his Pseudo-Parent’s oozing, tar-like, dishes had brought literal tears to your eyes. From the smell the alone.
So now, the quieter and more sensible of the Gargoyles—‘Silver,’ as the Angry One had called him—would duck out on occasion and return with something more or less edible. Fruits budded off near mystical plants that would glow ominously in the soft gloom of the castle’s interior. Strange roots and herbs that sometimes danced on your plate, like them waving around their little, planty, arms would make you not want to immediately murder them in coldblooded terror. The freshly carved meat off of animals you’d never even heard of before.
It was all certainly An Experience, but none of it had poisoned you yet. So you’d make do with what you had. Plus, a little sprinkle of Prestidigitation did wonders for making it all a bit more edible.
Malleus stepped forward, a suspicious lack of trays, or bowls, or anything else in his hands. Your brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before you shrugged—unbothered—and moved to lean your weight back on your elbows. Because Mister Clingy, Clingy, Clingy very much enjoyed using your mealtimes as an excuse to drape himself across your legs like an overgrown cat, and it was easier to just invite him in at this point than it was to wait for him to find a way to curl himself into your personal space.
But then, rather than plopping himself across your lap, Malleus knelt down and very pointedly swept you up into his. You definitely did not squeak, or flail around, or lose face in any sort of way. Nope. Not you. And when he settled back against the stone floor with a low hum and began to contentedly rub lazy circles into your hips, you most definitely did not melt.
Sure, it was a bit of a deviation from his usual brand of smothering, but it was far from unpleasant. And really, it would have been perfectly sweet and all. Except for that teensy, tiny (but not really ‘tiny’ at all, and holy fuck you were not going to let your brain go there), totally not something to immediately freak out about, problem. Which was, of course—
“You’re not wearing pants,” you entreated. “Or anything.” But the pants. The pants were the big issue at the moment. Because yeah. His chest was all fine sculpted planes of ivory and natural, aesthetic, perfection that would make the most accomplished artists weep with envy. And as distracting as all that normally was, the area below said spread of chiseled, lithe, muscle was what was setting off sirens in your brain.
His chin dug into your shoulder and you felt his cheek rub along yours as he ducked in closer to make eye contact.
“I am aware,” he said, arching a brow. “We’ve discussed the matter extensively.” And then a pout. “You told me to do what I found to be most comfortable.”
“This is comfortable?” You managed to squeak, incredulous. Because you knew that there were parts of you touching parts of him that surely could not have been—have been—
He hummed and tugged you closer.
“Of course,” he rumbled on the tail end of a contented sigh. “You’re so wonderfully warm. And besides, how else should I feed you? I doubt you’d appreciate me kneeling after you like a child.”
What.
“Feed me?” you spluttered.
“Of course,” he continued, nonplussed—like the idea of pressing dainty, bitesize, treats to your lips while you were stretched out across his very naked thighs was not a setup straight out of some terrible, trashy, erotica. “And while I admit the concept on its own is a temptingly enjoyable one, I’m only trying to maintain decorum.”
“What decorum?!” you wailed.
Tsunotarou went quiet then, almost like he was hesitant. Or… no—like he was preparing himself to launch into one of those grand, immortal, monologues of his. Usually they were about architecture, or the strange difficulties of tending to rose bushes. He took a soft, low, breath that whistled past your ear, and then his lips quirked back into a smile.
“Unique circumstances of our meeting and your species aside, I have decided that you deserve a proper courtship nonetheless,” he responded merrily, in the tone of someone who very much believed such a declaration deserved all the head pats. “I spoke with Lilia about the matter, of course, because while I am well aware of the concepts of such an endeavor, actually putting the ideas into practice is… unfamiliar to me,” he huffed, almost embarrassed. “And I wanted to ensure that despite our differences in culture and ancestry, that I could find a way to ensure you would enjoy our draconic customs as well.”
Which was—was—
It was certainly one thing to hear Tsunotarou make casual declarations of ‘bestowing titles’ and whatever other romantically archaic gibberish made it past his fangs, but to just sort of BAM. Lay it all out. Right there. With a ‘you deserve a proper courtship’ and everything. It had heat rising high along your cheeks and something light and bubbly dancing through your stomach.
“…That’s sweet of you,” you managed to get out, so thoroughly twitterpated that for half a second you even managed to forgot that you were having this whole conversation while you were sitting in his very, very, naked lap.  
“Sweet?” he repeated, so openly bewildered it made you laugh.
“Yes,” you hummed, regaining a teeny bit of your courage, and let your head fall back to rest against his shoulder with an affectionate lil’ bonk. “Very sweet. The sweetest.”
“…I do not think I have ever been referred to as such,” he mumbled, sounding torn between being content at the compliment, and baffled over its existence in the first place. And yeah, objectively speaking, there were plenty of more fitting, much grander, descriptors you could attach to such an ancient, all-powerful, creature. Majestic, incredible, intelligent, awe-inspiring, handsome—
Tsunotarou made a strange sort of strangled sound from behind you, and you realized in horror that you’d been rambling all that out loud.
That brief spark of courage vanished even faster than it’d come, and you dropped your head forward to hide in your hands.
“I did not realize you regarded me so highly, Child of Man,” he crooned, puffing up in pride at your back.
You buried even further into your palms. Maybe if you pressed hard enough, you’d manage to lobotomize yourself. And then you’d never have to worry about being embarrassed ever again.
“How could I not?” you complained, sounding smooshed and pathetic behind your fingers.
“In my experience, most creatures tend to feel quite the opposite when I am involved,” Malleus mused, sounding far too soft. “But I suppose you have always proved to be the exception in many things.”
You could feel the familiar, firm, warmth of his fingers curling along your wrists as he gently tugged you out of your impromptu hidey hole.
“Humans are many things, and you certainly continue to surprise me. But I don’t think you’ve yet discovered how to eat without using your mouth.” He gave your palm a light squeeze before letting it drop back to your side. “So unfortunately, trying to hide your face away in shame isn’t productive at the moment,” Malleus grinned, sharp with humor. “But perhaps later, if you are still feeling too overwhelmed by your sentiments.”
“I’m not overwhelmed by my sentiment,” you grumped.  
He hummed, low in his chest and terribly fond. And clearly not buying your bullshit for a second.
“And there’s not even any food for my dumb, human, mouth to eat,” you continued petulantly.
“Is that so?” he mused.
“Yes. Is so,” you snipped.
That little, happy, grin of his grew a bit too wide, a bit too pointy at the edges. And then he was reaching up with one hand to cup your chin and hold your jaw in place. Softly, carefully, in a way that certainly wasn’t uncomfortable, but with a firmness to it that definitely made it feel like you weren’t going anywhere.
“Open,” he ordered—kind as always, but with a haughty sort of authority that had heat rushing to your cheeks so quickly you realized that hyperbole of your earlier ramblings aside, you may actually be having a fucking stroke.
The dragon pinched his fingers at the corner of your lips, the sharp tips of his blackened nails bumping up along your canines, and your mouth fell open like your jaw had unhinged itself from your face. His other hand reached around you deftly in a grand show of ridiculous sparks and mist. And then there was something small, and warm, and mouth-wateringly savory pulled from thin air and tucked up between his fingers. He leaned over your shoulder to take a pointed bite out of the creation, chewing slowly and exaggeratedly, before moving to hold the remaining piece up to your parted lips.
Your mouth was more or less hanging open like you were trying to make a career out of catching flies, so he didn’t have much trouble setting the delicate, little, morsel atop your tongue. The burst of flavor was instantaneous, intense, and part of you wished that your brain wasn’t so high on its ‘what is HAPPENING?! AHHHH!’ madness so that you could better appreciate the taste of the ethereal treat. But it was. And your head was broken. So here you were—sitting in a handsome dragon’s naked lap, with some kind of mystical food in your mouth, and your tongue practically lolling out of it like you had brain damage.
“Aren’t you going to eat it?” Malleus asked, brow furrowing at your continued paralysis. Like you refusing to do anymore than sit there like a human vegetable was another one of your attempts at petty resistance.
And okay. Really. You weren’t trying to be a little brat. Your brain had genuinely fled the building—packed its bags, flipped your empty skull the bird, and sailed off into the sunset to find someone who might actually try and make use of it. There wasn’t enough ‘rational thought’ left for you tomake the decision to be a sassy little shit.
The dragon’s eyes narrowed at your completely unintentional obstinance and the pointed ends of his claws flexed against your cheeks.
“Swallow.”
You gulped, out of habit if nothing else—the rest of you spiraling away in a long line of holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck—
“There,” he purred, and you were having a heart attack. “Was that so difficult?”
He loosened his grip enough for you to softly shake your head back and forth, and his countenance brightened once again at your assent.
“Excellent!” he beamed, and conjured up another one of those tiny bits of ambrosia. “What is that expression humans are always using…” he mumbled to himself, brow furrowed as he pondered. “Oh—that’s right.” He cleared his throat and pressed the next morsel back up your mouth. “Say ‘Aaah.’”
The choked off, gurgling, noise that tore out of your throat must have been an acceptable substitute, because he nodded and pushed the treat past your lips.
“Good,” he hummed, low, and rubbed more of those little circles into your hip with the clawed fingers that weren’t busy feeding you all kinds of magical nonsense. “Lilia did mention you might be adverse to this for some reason,” he muttered to himself, dragging his cheek along yours like an overgrown cat, before turning that indulgent, deadly, smile back on you with all the cutting efficiency of an assassin’s blade. “But I knew you’d do well.”
You were going to die.  
“This food is made with my own magic,” he explained, proud, and definitely at least partially oblivious to the fact that you were one-hundred-percent having an aneurism. “And I would love to feed you nothing but these creations of mine, but unfortunately, Lilia was not entirely certain how much sustenance it would actually provide to a human body,” he sighed, practically pouty.
“Is that so…” you wheezed.
“Hmm,” he rumbled, and snapped another mouthful of arcane wonders into existence. “Would you like some more?”
You looked up towards the grey ceiling and the infinite, uncaring, void of space somewhere beyond. You prayed to every God, Demon, Deity, and half-baked Patron that you could think of for mercy.
.
.
“What did you tell him?!”
“Oh?” Lilia hummed, lazily glancing over his sharpened nails. You’d found him dangling upside down from a banister in one of the sparser hallways, like that was a perfectly pleasant place to relax for the afternoon. “Did you not enjoy it?”
You squawked like the world’s most indignant chicken, and Lilia had the absolute fucking gall to laugh at you.
“That’s not the point!”
“Is it not?” he chirped, looking beyond pleased with himself.
“NO!”
He trilled merrily nonetheless and floated down to stand before you.
“I’m sure this is all still a bit confusing to you, little one. But,” he smiled, positively doting, “a smidgen of embarrassment is certainly a fair price to pay for so many future years of happiness, don’t you agree?”
“That’s not—I’m not embarrassed,” you settled on, which was a lie.
Lilia grinned at you like you were something fascinating. Or like he was a cat, and you were a very funny little mouse who’d managed to trap itself under one of his paws. After a moment, he chuckled softly under his breath and reached down to fish about in the pockets of his robes.
“Perhaps this will help bolster you courage, hmm?” he hummed and slid a strange, glass, flask into your hands.
You glared at him cautiously for a moment before uncorking the potion and taking a swig. It settled along your tongue, heavy and fruity, with a soft, herby, aftertaste. Grandiose nature of its presentation aside, the concoction was actually pretty familiar.
“This is just wine!” you complained, and Lilia laughed harder.
.
.
When you ate your (assumed) dinner for the evening, Malleus took his usual spot draped across your lap and seemed happy to let you feed yourself. You stared down at the dragon cautiously, eyes narrowed. Suspicious.
“Lilia said it would be best not to overwhelm you with too much too quickly,” he said after a few long moments of your apprehensive silence, burrowing his nose against your thigh.
“I see,” you droned, still more than a little irritated at the tiny man’s meddling, but thankful enough that he at least seemed to understand that your fair constitution was not built to survive an onslaught of draconic ‘courting.’
“Unless you would prefer that I—”
“No!”
That night you collapsed atop your blanket nest like a log—physically and emotionally wrecked from trying to survive your first ever encounter with Seduction. (And wasn’t that a trip? A fully fledged Bard, stumbling over their own tongue and shriveling up like a pious little maiden at the first inklings of Romantic Intent. What a failure you were. ‘Fuck around and find out?’ Ace used to mock. ‘Nah, get fucked and find out, am I right, Bardy?’ And you’d laugh. Like you were some suave, sexy, master of love. And not just some moron who could sometimes talk their way in circles well enough to get their friends out of a tavern brawl.)
You squeaked out a yawn—some lazy, tired, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you burrowed deeper into your plush fortress. You were going to go to sleep and stay asleep for hours. Days. Months. You were going to make that ‘Sleeping Beauty’ chick look like an insomniac.
The blankets cocooning you dipped with extra weight, and you blinked your eyes back open to see Malleus looming over you, his neon eyes illuminating the dark and casting odd shadows over his cheeks.
“Are you cold, Child of Man?”
Huh. Weird. But whatever.
You hummed and burrowed deeper into the blankets. “I’m fine, thank you.”
Sure, the castle was gloomy and dank even when the sun was at its highest, let alone in the black of night. But you had a literal furnace camped out next to you, and no natural chill was breaking past that space heater. You yawned again and rolled back onto your side with a comfy little stretch. You were just about to sink back into the soft, foggy, cloud of sleep when—
“Are you certain?”
You sighed and scrunched your nose irritably. “Yes, Tsunotarou.”
A pause.
“Are you… too warm, then?”
You groaned.
“I’m fine.” And then, pointed. “Just tired.”
“I see.”
You waited, frowning sleepily into your pillow pile. When after a solid two minutes the dragon had made no further comments, you let your eyes slip back closed.
“But are you positive?” he asked again, and you wanted to scream. “There’s nothing troubling you about our nest? Nothing at all?” You smashed your face into a duvet and felt a panicked set of claws flutter along your shoulders. “I would only hope that you’d feel comfortable enough to inform me if there is anything amiss. If there is anything that I might do, to correct any inadequacies—”
“Malleus,” you interrupted, and you felt him freeze. Perhaps using his True Name out loud for the first time in a fit of overtired petulance was low, but come on. What else were you supposed to do? “The nest is perfect. You’re perfect. Can we please just—go to sleep?”
“Oh,” he breathed, and you watched the soft, emerald, glow around him pop in and out of existence as he blinked his wide eyes at you. The sharp, reptilian, lines of his pupils shrank to pinpricks—swallowed in a sea of green. “I see.”
You weren’t sure exactly what this great, eldritch, monster was ‘seeing,’ but he did shut his mouth with a content little rumble and haul you up against his chest to finally settle in for the night, so you couldn’t really find it in you to care about the particulars.
.
.
The next morning, when Malleus tried to feed you breakfast, you had prepared yourself enough to not keel over on the spot. You very respectably accepted his tasty treats and only thought you were about to pass out, like, three times. So overall, an improvement.
That is, until you dutifully swallowed the last of the tiny morsels he’d pressed to your lips, and he smiled at you like you’d hung all the stars in the sky.
“You really are such a good little thing, aren’t you?” he sighed, and you had to bury yourself in your blanket nest like an ostrich with its head in the sand for a solid half hour before you were ready to be a functional person again.
But other than that brush with near death, you were doing great! Great enough that you were even willing to indulge the angrier Gargoyle as it huffed and puffed about whatever had managed to ruffle its feathers that day.
“I still cannot believe you thought to steal from my master! TO STEAL!” he repeated. “FROM HIM!”
You sighed and rested your chin in your palm. “To be fair, we didn’t exactly know anyone was living here. It’s not like we intentionally tried to tangle with a dragon.”
“Well, you would have lost,” Sebek sniffed, indignant.
“We did lose,” you huffed, amused, and Lilia’s snicker echoed from some shadowed corner of the hall. “But I promise, if we’d known that we would be trespassing into someone’s actual home instead of just breaking and entering an abandoned castle, I never would have come.”
Malleus warbled out an unsettled sort of sound from his place resting at your back, his snout bumping up against your shoulder in an inquisitive little thump.
You reached out to give his giant, scaled, nose a pat.
“But I’m glad I did,” you promised. “My friends’ idiocy worked in all our favors, I guess.”
“You ought to thank them when they return next month, your grace,” Lilia called to his ward, still too entrenched within the darkness to be visible as anything other than a glinting, halfmoon, smile. “For ensuring your lovely human’s arrival.”
Malleus hummed and shifted his wings to settle back more fully once again—whatever unpleasant sort of discontentment brewing about him having clearly been assuaged.
“THOSE WHO WOULD ATTEMPT TO BURGLE MY MASTER DO NOT DESERVE GRATITUDE!” Sebek yowled, arching up like a pissy street cat.
“To be fair,” you said, “there ended up not being much actual theft involved.”
Sebek gasped and ducked in to complain straight to your face, like that extra foot and a half of distance would somehow make all the difference in his lecturing. But then, as he swung in closer, his stone talons brushed up against the edge of your mattress-nest. It was just a little thing, barely even enough to put a nick in the rippled corners of the more delicate fabrics. But with that movement, the atmosphere of the chamber melted from its usual pleasant haze into something cold, and dark, and heavy that pressed down on your shoulders like a tangible thing. Within the next moment, Sebek was falling back in a panic to avoid the set of massive, black, jaws closing around him.
Malleus reared forward with an absolutely blood curdling snarl—curling down from his perch at your hind to spit and lunge at his servant with all the terrible ferocity of the ancient beast that so many accused him of being.
Sebek reeled away in an absolutely manic frenzy, twisting from death’s maw with a slew of panicked squawking-slash-sobbing that sounded an awful lot like he was begging for forgiveness amidst his harried attempts at escape.
And as much as you certainly hadn’t wanted to be lectured for the umpteenth time about some trivial garbage, the blind rage twisting your dragon’s face was… definitely unfamiliar.  
You reached out nervously to rest a hand against his flank, and instantly Malleus was back at your side—curling the entirety of his bulk around you and only unfurling the long, slim, stretch of his neck to hiss a low, threatening, sound in the direction Sebek had fled.
“Tsunotarou…?” you called hesitantly, letting your fingers twist against the slippery smooth surface of his scales.
He lowered his head, and you could see each and every one of those sharp teeth of his glinting in the lowlight. He kept his neon-green glare locked at the corner of the hall with that same, startling, intensity, but the simmering rage that had been sparking along his canines dropped into a softer, more reassuring, rumble.
“MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES, MY LORD!” Sebek wailed, popping up stupidly from behind the pillar he was using as a shield. “I NEVER MEANT TO—”
Malleus snapped at him again—his teeth closing around empty air with an echoing clack. The Gargoyle ducked back down with an ‘EEP!’ and the dragon curled his lips in distaste. The heavy scent of smoke and sulfurpooled from his maw, and emerald sparks danced dangerously up from his throat.
Lilia materialized then from the shadows, slipping forward from the darkness with a deep bow that nearly had his nose pressed to his knees. He hovered over the pair of them—the cowering, stone, monster and the fire spitting dragon that was seemingly determined to rend his faithful servant into pebbles.
“My Prince,” Lilia coaxed, composed and crisp in the face of his hissing ward. He started to straighten himself again cautiously, only to freeze half-way when Malleus started up his grumbling again. “Malleus,” he tried instead, voice stern and gentling. “It’s alright. I’m sure it was only an accident.” Crimson eyes flicked pointedly to the rafters. “Wasn’t it, Sebek?”
“I DIDN’T MEAN TO!” Sebek absolutely sobbed. “I WOULD NEVER DISRESPECT THE YOUNG MASTER SO!”
“What the fuck is even happening?!” you gaped, beyond confused.
“Little one,” Lilia began, only to pause when Malleus curled his lip threateningly at him. “If you wouldn’t mind, please inform your dearest companion that you’re perfectly well and unharmed.”
“What?” you frowned. “Of course I’m unharmed!”
“Once more,” Lilia chirped, without any warmth to it. “If you’d please.”
Your brow tugged together tight in bewilderment, but you turned back to face the heaving hide of the dragon that was currently wound around you tighter than a bow string.
“Malleus,” you tried, perhaps far too quietly all things considered. But that terrible, earthquake of a snarl of his broke off all at once—like you’d dropped a cone of Silence over the whole of him. His great, green, glare cut down to you and instantly he was lowering his sneering maw to blow misty smoke rings over your head. “Malleus,” you said again, running a hand along his scales. “It’s alright. I’m fine. Nothing’s happened.”
Tsunotarou blinked at you, tight and fast. And then after a very, very, long moment of that sneer twitching on and off his face like a flickering light, his pricked pupils relaxed back into something curved and long—still thin, but no longer constricted to the point of near absence. He lowered his head to crash into the heap of comforters, and pillows, and soft, cozy, things. The sigh that blew past his fangs was all kinds of exhausted—sounding like it’d clawed its way out from the very marrow of his bones. The little lick of green flames that accompanied it was a teeny, bright, thing—lacking that sharp bite of heat and sulfur.
Lilia sighed too, like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. Silver relaxed from the perch where he’d tucked himself away at the start of it all (high enough to be out of range, but close enough to dive in if needed), and Sebek nearly doubled over in hysterical tears.
The strange, little, demon turned then on the spiked Gargoyle with an unhappy click of his tongue.
“Sebek,” he huffed. “You should know better.”
“I know,” the Gargoyle hiccupped, uncharacteristically quiet. “I’m sorry.”
“Would someone please tell me what that was,” you begged, running nervous hands along Tsunotarou’s purple crests like they were a giant, wavy, set of stress balls.
“Drakes are naturally protective creatures. There’s certainly a reason that so many tales of our Lord’s ancestors stalwartly guarding their hoards have passed into legend,” Lilia explained, some of that black severity finally seeming to fade from his soured expression. “And, of course, when one is partaking in an event as monumental as the courtship of a perspective mate, they can understandably be… particularly tetchy about their territory being disturbed.”
“But it’s not like you’re intruders or anything! He’s known you all for ages,” you frowned. “And this is just—you’ve all been in here plenty of times before. It’s just a pile of pillows.”
“Not to him it’s not,” Lilia mused, soft.
You worried at your lower lip, and your gaze slipped back to the dragon pressed up against your side. He was busy fanning his tail out, carefully smoothing the fabrics that had been disturbed in his upset—fluffing up the blankets that had fallen out of place and rucking all those comforters up around the both of you.
‘A perfect nest,’ you had called it. For a perfect dragon.  
Oh.
You cleared your sticky throat and patted reassuringly at the softer, more delicate skin at the base of Malleus’s horns. He paused his fretting to glance back down at you.
“Why don’t we hit the hay early today, yeah?” you offered, and he let out a relieved sort of huff as he settled more heavily at your side. His eyes slipped closed like they were physically weighted down, and his tail whipped up and around to encircle the two of you in a set of soft loops. Lilia sent you a look that was half-appreciative, half-outright fond.
“We’ll leave you both be for the next few days,” he said, before gesturing for the pair of Gargoyles to follow him out the door.
You nodded, and then called out just as the more haggard of the duo was about to slip past the threshold.
“He probably didn’t mean to get so mad,” you offered as kindly as you could, and you weren’t sure if a Gargoyle could actually get misty-eyed (what with the whole ‘entirely constructed of stone’ thing being a bit of hindrance), but Sebek was certainly putting the effort in to try.
.
.
Not that this whole thing had been entirely one-sided, but as you laid there in your nest with your dragon—carefully carding your fingers through his black hair and along the divots in his horns—you couldn’t help but feel like he’d been putting a whole lot more effort into this ‘fairytale romance’ of yours than you had.
Okay, granted, you were apparently the one being courted in this whole situation. Which theoretically meant that you were also the one who was supposed to be getting spoiled with attention, and food, and… whatever that whole territory debacle had been. But still… It felt a bit selfish not to be doing something for Malleus in return. Particularly seeing how much of himself he was putting into all of this. And again, sure, you were technically originally a hostage or whatever. Sure, not a few weeks ago you would have laughed off this entire thing like it was a bad joke. But now you were… sort of in it for the long haul, weren’t you?
Because Malleus was kind and startling intelligent, even if that big ol’ brain of his sometimes stumbled over the silliest things. He had a wickedly dry sense of humor and an inquisitiveness that was entirely endearing. And on top of it all, he was ungodly attractive and a motherfucking dragon. What sort of fool would turn that down? Idiot you may be, but man, even you weren’t that stupid. Deuce, maybe. But not you.
So you sighed, feeling very much like a haggard old maid doing their best to walk some moron through their own burgeoning romance—except in this case you were both the old crone and the idiot, and—Ugh. This metaphor was too much for your brain. You carefully slipped out from beneath Malleus’s arm, and man, if it didn’t say all the more about just how much he’d exhausted himself the other day that he didn’t immediately spring awake to demand to know where you were sneaking off to. You patted his silky hair and tucked him in a bit tighter before carefully making your way over to the corner of the nest where you’d stashed your travel pack.
You knew better than to try and start your own fire at this point, and while heating a kettle with the lingering, wispy, sparks of Prestidigitation was a bitch and half, you did it. Because you were—ugh—in love. Or at least getting there. And people who were (maybe) in love did all sorts of ridiculous, taxing, nonsense for the sake of making their Person (dragon) happy. You brewed a pot of warm tea, tossing in all the fancy, dried, leaves that you kept bundled in the little side pockets of your bag. Chamomile as a base, to settle his nerves. A pinch of lavender to aid that calm. A sprig of lemon balm for tartness and… also calm. Everything you had for relaxation. Just. Dumping it in the pot. You were halfway through debating if adding a bit of Passionflower would just make your already questionable concoction taste absolutely vile when a sleepy grumble dragged you out of your musings.
“What are you doing all the way over there?” Tsunotarou complained, head only just poking out from the mound of blankets you’d buried him in. And, wow, he must have been… He hadn’t even scuttled his way down to latch onto you like the leech he normally was.
You gingerly climbed your way back up the pile, balancing the mug of tea in your hands so, so, carefully—making sure not to spill a single drop.
Malleus had sat up fully by the time you arrived, and he was busying himself with rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He still looked a bit woozy—a bit out-of-body. You leaned forward and pressed the warm cup into his clawed hands, only pulling back once you were certain he had a good grip on it.
“I made tea,” you said lamely. “To, uh, help with… To help. Tea helps,” you finished, more lamely.
And then, because you never knew how to stop when you were ahead (and to be fair, you were never really ‘ahead.’ And your dumbass bumbling certainly didn’t land you anywhere near that), you leaned forward, valiantly fighting the butterflies having an all out rave in your fucking intestines, and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Erhm,” you mumbled as he stared up at you with wide, wide eyes. “Feel better.”
Malleus gaped at you, and then slowly—like his limbs were moving through a vat of honey—he reached up to rub at the skin you’d just pecked.
“What was that?” he asked, bewildered but not… unhappy. No. Definitely not unhappy. 
“A kiss?” you squeaked, warring with all Seven Levels of Hell that were fighting for real estate in your cheeks. “It’s… uh. It’s something humans do to… show our affection?” It wasn’t meant to sound like a question, but the statement twisted up high-pitched and thready at the end either way.
“I see,” he murmured, gaze still a bit distant. Though perhaps not for the same reason anymore. He blinked a few times, as if to clear away that cloudy haze, and then smiled one of those heart-stopping smiles of his. “May I have another?”
You spluttered, and fought the urge to bap him over the top of the head like an unruly bar patron.
“After you finish your tea,” you managed to squawk. “Maybe.”
And so he went about sipping at the concoction you’d brewed for him with all the steadfast determination of a good student. By the time he reached the bottom of the cup, his eyes were drooping all over again and he was stretching out to lounge back against the pillows with a sleepy little sigh. He slipped back off to sleep quickly enough, but you leaned forward anyways to give him a peck on the cheek—as promised.
.
.
“Tell me more about your human courting traditions,” Malleus demanded the next morning, clearly feeling well enough again to be back to his usual, sticky, habits. He had situated himself with his head in your lap—bumping his forehead up pointedly against your navel until you sunk your hands into his hair.
“I thought Lilia told you plenty,” you grumbled. “You just want me to kiss you again.”
His eyes sparkled with mischievous mirth. “Perhaps.”
You sighed and fought the urge to titter into your palms in embarrassment. You were a bard, goddamn it! And you would not shame your profession further!
“Well, from what I understand, one doesn’t exactly see their intended in your sort of state until much later in the proceedings,” you sniffed petulantly.
“My sort of state?” he repeated, canting his head.
“Naked.”
He laughed, sharp and loud.
“Of course,” he trilled, twisting to bury his nose into the seam of your thigh and sending shivers all along your spine. “I always forget about your antiquated sense of modesty.”
“My antiquated—?!You’re thousands of years old!”
“And yet, you are always the one so caught up in the notion of my propriety,” he sighed, that clever smirk still tugging at his lips. “Trying to defend my honor, perhaps?”
“My honor,” you hissed, giving into the urge to burry your head in your hands. “What do you do then, huh? What do dragons do if they don’t kiss each other?”
“Bite,” he shrugged, and the spark of something that shot through your gut like the first sparks off a campfire was entirely fucking unfair.
You swallowed.
“Like—erhm. When you’re like this?” you asked, gesturing awkwardly to his human-fied form.
“I suppose some must,” he hummed, eyes going lidded and dark as he pondered your inquiry. “But most prefer their scales, I’m told. Mating bites are a fairly universal practice—both in their practically of providing a physical telltale for differentiating those who have been claimed from those who have not, and also as a… more romantic overture.”
“How is biting romantic?” you huffed, only to immediately regret the question when the dragon’s eyes lit like firebugs.  
Tsunotarou sat back on his haunches, dislodging your hand from his hair in the process.
“It’s all very poetic,” he enthused, face awash with genuine fascination. The same sort of way he got when he was talking about his precious gargoyles or the wonderful uniqueness in flavor of the different variations of frost giants. “It leaves the impression of a mortal wound that was, of course, in reality anything but. The careful curation of allowing one’s life to fall so easily into the hands of another. It really is all very lovely.”
“But dragon teeth are…” you trailed off, debating if you were just regurgitating the obvious. “It must leave some pretty nasty scars, at least.”
“Of course it does,” Malleus hummed. “That’s certainly the point of it. And usually, the goal is to bite deep enough that the scales can never regrow.”
“But, that’s—!” Again you tapered yourself into silence. He wasn’t saying that like it was bad thing. In fact, he sounded a bit dreamy. “Isn’t that dangerous?” you asked instead, quiet. “To lose some of your armor like that?”
“Oh, certainly,” he crooned, reaching out with one, clawed, finger to trail the tip of a blackened nail along the hollow of your throat. “The most common sites are here.” You gulped, and he dragged that talon of his down to rest at the center of your chest. He tapped at the skin there slowly, lightly, like the rhythm of a ticking clock. “And here.”
“I—uhm.” You swallowed. “That just seems more dangerous.”
“The hope behind it is to show your unwavering conviction—your faith,” he explained, his nail still tap-tap-tapping just above your heart. “That the one you’ve chosen to entrust yourself to will be the one willing to protect those delicate places instead.”
“Oh,” you mumbled, eyes wide. Because… alright. That was a bit—It was at least a little…
The hand lingering over your ribs reached out to tangle with your own, and he brought your palm up to rest against the soft, alabaster, curve of his neck. You could feel the steady thrum of his pulse beneath your fingers.
“I know your teeth aren’t quite strong enough to scar a dragon’s hide, but I’d be happy to gift you my scales, if you asked them of me,” he sighed, content. And woah. Holy fuck. Holy fuck— “Perhaps you could fashion your own armor from them,” he mused, looking far too invested with that burgeoning idea for it to be something he’d just magically thought up on the spot.
“I’d rather not do anything to hurt you at all,” you rambled, because your brain had evaporated.
“Oh?” he droned. “Even if I asked you to?”
And fwoosh went the ashy remnants of your intellect, completely blown out of your head.
Malleus leaned forward into your little bubble of space—the one that had more or less popped out of existence the moment he’d decided that he would very much like to keep you at his side. But somehow, despite all the times he’d crowded in on you before, this time felt… more significant. He kept your palm pressed into the hollow of his throat and ducked down to press his nose into the sensitive nook of your own. You could feel the whistle of his breath against the thin skin there—warm, and slow, and with just the slightest bit of humidity that pulled goosebumps up all along your shoulders.
“Of course I would never mark you while in my scales,” he assured, like that was even an option to begin with. “Your flesh is far too delicate. And while I know I could heal the damage, it’s not something I’m keen to inflict in the first place.”
You shivered and tilted your chin—away (exposed), not down. Not into the protective little bow you ought to have.
“H-Hypocrite,” you spluttered, and Malleus chuckled, delighted.
“I suppose so,” he hummed. “But it does make me wonder, what could we do, hmm? In these forms?”
You could bite me like this, you almost said. Like an absolute, suicidal, maniac.
“Oh?” he trilled, enthusiastic. “I could, couldn’t I?”
Holy fuck you needed to get your rambling under control before it killed you.
“I do hope you keep at it,” he mused, tilting forward so that you could feel the brush of his bangs tickling along the back of your neck. “You say the loveliest things when you’re not burdened with those poor attempts at filtering yourself.” His lips curled up into a smile and you could feel it pressing into your throat like a brand. “Incredible, you called me. Do you remember? Majestic. Handsome—”
“Yes, yes,” you spluttered, head still tilted way too far back for someone putting up any kind of token protest. “Mock the afflicted.”
“Afflicted?” He grinned. The points of his canines dipped past his lips to skim along your skin and leave the teeniest, little, divots in their wake. Never pushing forward, never breaking that soft barrier at your throat. But there. “With what, dearest?”
“Don’t make me say it,” you begged. Because you were already likely to keel over twitching from a stroke at any moment now, let alone if you tried to say—if you actually admitted out loud that you—you were—
“Should I, then?” he asked, a streak of something stalwart and genuine mixed in with the teasing.
And then, like a horribly unwanted Divine Intervention, Ace’s voice flicked through your thoughts with all of the stereotypical ridiculousness of a beam of sunshine parting a cloud covered sky.  
‘Fuck around and find out?’ he’d laughed. And then you’d laughed. ‘Nah, get fucked and find out.’
And goddamn it all, you would never, ever give that smarmy, ginger, bastard credit for anything—let alone bestowing you with sage life advice. But, well—
“Fuck it,” you gasped and you threw yourself forward to tangle your arms around Malleus’s neck and pull him into a kiss.
It was perhaps the most inelegant smashing of lips ever put to record, and you immediately nicked yourself on one of his fangs. But after a moment of working past that driving ‘get as close as you can, get so, so, so close—’ you managed to maneuver things into something that was more a wave of particularly enthusiastic kisses than just outright gnawing at each other. Malleus didn’t seem particularly put off at your messy attempt to jump his bones, and leaned into whatever you were throwing at him with ardor.
You parted your lips and Malleus’s own opened immediately beneath yours. His tongue flicked out and you felt it run along the fresh cut there—tracing the little, red, graze and soothing the sting. It was a little longer than you were expecting, a tad thinner. Not quite reptilian, but different enough that you recognized it as something alien. But if there was any apprehension to begin with (hint: probably not. You were too far gone on this idiot), it was wiped clear when he tilted his chin forward to harshen the angle and attempted to plunder your mouth in earnest.
There was still all a bit more teeth and biting than the glorious romances heralded in all those garbage tavern songs, but for someone who’d only just yesterday been asking you ‘what’s a kiss?’ this felt like great progress. And honestly, there was something better about this too. Maybe because the feel of his sharp canines dancing so perilously close to your sensitive skin was a bit thrilling. Maybe the mess, and the heat, and that ‘closer, closer, closer’ made it feel more real. Or maybe it was just the simple fact that this was your Tsunotarou.  
Eventually the kisses tapered off to dot along your cheek—with another long, slow, lick along the barely-bloodied nick in your lip for good measure—and then down the curve of your jaw. Malleus pressed forward, and you could feel the sharp intent there as he meticulously began to cover every available inch of your throat in little, stinging, love bites. His clawed hands began to work their way under the hem of your shirt, rucking it up along your abdomen until the fabric caught just beneath your ribs. He dug his thumbs into the newly exposed skin, and you fought through a wave of shivers to reach down to help him pull it the rest of the way off you.
The brief barrier of your shifting clothes cut you off from the world like a blindfold, and when you were back again, facing the softly lit gloom of the familiar cavern, you realized that you were staring down a fully naked dragon. Who, yes, was technically always running around in his birthday suit. But now—I mean—if you were doing this sort of thing with him, and he was really courting you and all… You could look now, couldn’t you?
So many painful hours you had spent counting pebble piles, and reciting mostly made-up religious verses, and smacking your cheeks like a school matron threatening rowdy teens. So ceaselessly hard had your poor eyes worked to never just look down.
And finally, you let yourself take in the entirety of him.
Woah.
And thank fuck he didn’t lurch forward with that wide, self-satisfied grin of his, because at least that meant you’d managed to keep your internal ‘!!!’ to yourself for once.
Malleus had always been unfairly pretty. Because naturally, if you were one of the most powerful creatures to ever walk this planet, you also had to be one of the most beautiful. It was the logic of fairytales and mythos only, and now all that ethereal allure was staring you down almost like a challenge. Like, ‘see? You thought people this stupidly hot could only exist in your dreams? Hardy, har, har. Have fun with your hypertension and newfound inability to feel anything below your navel.’
And now he was just there. All sculpted planes of white marble that cut sharp angles at the jut of his hips, and then the rest of him. Which was equally as well cast and pale, with just enough of a pink flush to look like something alive rather than some untouchable statue in a museum.
You averted your gaze with a self-conscious little ‘eep!’ Because surely being leered at like a slab of meat had to be all sorts of unpleasant. I mean, if Tsunotarou had been looking at you like that, you’d—Well. Actually. Maybe it wouldn’tbe that bad. But either way, you were practically drooling over the guy, and that self-indulgent ogling had to be at least a teensy bit embarrassing.
Instead, when you finally managed to lock gazes again, the dragon was practically preening.
“Do you find me pleasing, Child of Man?” he asked, eyes half-lidded and dark.
You looked back up at the ceiling and cursed all those stupid deities that had never deigned to grant you even a single sliver of that mercy you’d ask for.
“You know I do,” you finally said, fighting a losing battle against the rampant heat overtaking your entire face.
Malleus leaned back in to press a drawn-out peck to that same little cut, letting that thin tongue of his peek out to clean around your swollen lip one more time. You could see his pupils jumping within his irises—shrinking to tight, tiny, pinpricks before rounding out into something nearly human. The gaping black there practically swallowed the neon, green, sea of his eyes whole.
“You can take from me whatever you’d like,” he hummed, reaching out to drag the hand that had caught at his ribs down to rest along the sharp dip of his hipbones.
“You are literally going to kill me,” you hiccupped, cheeks burning like you’d just taken a merry jaunt through all Seven Halls.
His brow furrowed loosely in the familiar start of that ‘I am an Immortal Drake King and Have No Real Concept of Over Exaggeration as Comedy’ bewilderment of his, and you leaned forward to press a kiss against that little crease.
“In a euphemism sort of way,” you clarified with a flustered grumble. “I promise.”
“Of course,” he nodded, in a fashion that made it very obvious that he didn’t really get it, but also easily acknowledged that now was neither the time nor place for a lesson on human vernacular.
Instead of focusing on your so-claimed impending demise, Malleus leaned forward and picked up exactly where he had left off—even taking the time to pause over the last of his little love bites to soothe at it with his tongue and get it darkening up all over again. As he trailed those sharp, sticky, kisses down your front, you felt your own fingers begin to slip further south—naturally skating down deeper along the slope where he’d placed them.
Your knuckles brushed against sleek, near silky, skin and the shudder that worked its way up the dragon’s back had the teeth he’d buried at your collarbone near vibrating into your skin. Which was… probably good, right? Actually, you know what? If anything, it was a hell of a lot better than good. So you reached forward with a bit more confidence to twine your fingers around him in earnest, and the groan that rumbled out from Malleus’s chest was deep enough to rattle your bones.
The first few strokes were a bit clumsy as you tried to feel out what he enjoyed best. There was something not quite human about it all—just like how even though he had two legs, two arms, and a perfectly lovely face, there had always still been something just a smidge off about this form of his. A little too ethereal to be real.
Though he certainly felt real now—with the way his hips were rising in short, sharp, jerks against your sliding palm, and in how his breath was beating a brisk tempo against your throat.  
“You know,” you admitted a bit shakily. “Do you realize how hard it was to just not stare at you every freaking hour of the day when you were waltzing all over the place with—with this,” you complained, giving the aforementioned ‘this’ a pointed squeeze. Malleus made a punched-out sort of noise that tapered into a growl, and he rutted back against your grip hard enough to nearly topple you over.
And then he kept pushing forward until you did fall backwards into the nest of blankets at your back. You landed with a breathy little ‘oof’ and he crowded over you immediately—bracketing you in between his knees. The clawed hand that had been playing along your waist shifted to better mimic the position of your own busy digits. He ran a blackened nail sluggishly along the inseam of your trousers before flicking it back up to undo the button there with a pop.
“You were always more than welcome to partake,” he beamed, sounding far too delighted for his own good. “I’d hoped my parading around was obvious.”
Well now it was!
“I was trying to be polite—” you cut off on a gasp as he pressed his own hand past the waistband of your pants andspread his fingers out like a fan, searching. “You—You were the one who said clothes weren’t—weren’t—” His skin was cold, smooth, and when he found what he was looking for, he pressed down so, so, carefully. You bit back an absolutely obscene gasp and managed to spit out, “—weren’t comfortable.”
“Of course they aren’t,” he sniffed, and took a long moment to lay another sucking mark at the bridge of your shoulder. “But I don’t make a habit of crawling into the lap of every adventurer who wanders through my home.” All at once his hand stilled against you and you fought the godawful impulse to whine. “Am I welcome as well?”
It took your scattered thoughts far too long to process that he’d been asking you a question.
“Are you welcome to what?” you breathed.
“To partake?”
Fucking hell in a handbasket—
“Yes,” you wheezed, squirming up against the wide, flat, surface of his palm. “Of course you are. Just—"
Malleus surged forward to capture your lips once more and immediately licked his way into your mouth—intent and probing. His fingers matched the pace, and he swallowed each of your squeaks, and squawks, and unintelligible nonsense enthusiastically.
It should have come as absolutely no shock just how attentive he was to… everything. Malleus always seemed so eager to soak up new information like the gigantic, draconic, sponge he was. Always so excited to learn. And he approached this new venture with all that usual enthusiasm and more. Like the terrible, embarrassing, noises pouring out of your throat were a symphony that he could not only learn to conduct, but fine tune to his liking.
Oh, he was happy to venture forth and explore the entirety of this unfamiliar territory, but he was conscientious to circle back to the softest, most sensitive, bits of you again, and again, and again. The parts that made you buck back against him and burry your nose in the crook of your arm like ‘hiding’ from your buzzing nerves was an option at all at this point.
Your pants were worked down to your knees before you’d even realized they were gone, and you kicked awkwardly out a few times to try and untangle yourself from the remainder of them. And then it was just you—laid out atop all those blankets and as bare as he was.
His bitey little kisses kept with their descent, until he’d slid himself far enough down that you couldn’t keep your grip on him anymore. He slipped out of your hand and you made a little grumbly noise of protest that only cut off when he dropped a particularly harsh nip at the inseam of your thigh. He nosed along the delicate skin there, laving his tongue indulgently over the teeny wound he’d left, and you gulped when his nostrils flared on a sharp inhale. His fingers were still tracing along the core of you, but slower now—steadied. Like his once rapt attention had clearly been snagged by other prospects.
Malleus’s neon leer ticked back up to lock with your own, and he rested his pointed chin atop your inner thigh with enough weighted intent to have you nearly leaping out of your skin.
“Is something the matter, dearest Child of Man?” he asked, brows jumping a bit in a way that gave away the fact that his polite, little, inquiry was far from the innocent fair he was putting on.   
“You know,” you laughed, breathless and dazed. “When I first came here, before I actually got to know you, I was always so worried that you were going to eat me alive.”
“Is that so,” Malleus mused, pointed nails tracing the shivers that were dancing up your legs. “And now?”
Another startled laugh, and you hid your flaming cheeks behind the cage of your fingers. “Don’t make me say it.”
“If you insist,” he hummed, perfectly unruffled, before ducking forward to bury his face in the heart of you.
Your head fell back with a frankly startling yelp, and your hands immediately moved to twist into his hair. The inky strands melted like the finest silk through your fingers, and you had to take a moment to physically ground yourself to keep from yanking on him—only for one of Malleus’s own hands to reach up and tangle your fingers up all the tighter. He ran his tongue along the entirety of you, and you dug your nails into the soft skin where his horns met his skull. He rumbled out a moan, and that naturally vibrated all the way up from where his mouth was currently very busy devouring every part of you that he could reach.
It was messy, and wet, and occasionally you could feel the razor-sharp tip of a fang dance too close to things that were already far too sensitive. But maiden clumsiness aside, there was certainly something to be said for his enthusiasm. Soon enough, that embarrassing keening of yours was even starting to make your own ears ring, and it only got worse when he shifted his grip on you to maneuver your calves over his shoulders and lock your ankles behind the curl of his horns.
His mouth left you with a soft pop, and he looked up at you with eyes that were shot through with so much black that you could hardly make out anything else. His too-long tongue poked out to trace along his wet lips and you absolutely did not let out the most embarrassing whimper known to man.
“Do you remember the story you told me, about the Cheshire Cat and the Man with the mad hats?”
You blinked, not even sure if you were coordinated enough to manage that right. Your melted mind tried its best to put meaning to words, and then words to context. Eventually you managed to muddle through something that felt half-familiar.
“I think so,” you said, still not entirely cognizant.
“Hmm,” he hummed, and nuzzled his nose back against you. “I remember lying in your lap that day. And that was the first time I could really smell you.”
Oh fucking hell—
“And you felt so wonderfully warm,” he sighed, like your absolute mortification was one of his most pleasant memories. “I would have loved to savor you then as well, but you hadn’t entirely seemed amenable.” He burrowed deeper and gave one, last, long, lick that had you nearly shivering out of your skin. “And either way, that tall tale of yours was too compelling to speak over.”
“It was a children’s story about an acid trip,” you complained. “You are more than welcome to interrupt any of my godawful retellings of penny novels to—”
You cut off with another wholly undignified noise when Malleus surged back up to kiss you fully on the mouth. His tongue coiled around yours and you could, you could taste—
“But I do so love hearing your voice,” he sighed, pulling away again with a little rumbly purr that was far too besotted. “And, actually, I find it to be quite a shame. And perhaps one of my many failings,” he drawled, that teasing, spiked, smirk of his curling across his mouth and doing terrible things to the butterflies trapped in your stomach.
“What?” you managed to eek out as he pulled you back flush up against him.
“You’re a traveling minstrel, are you not?” he hummed, rubbing his cheek along yours as he had so many times before. “And yet, I’ve never quite managed to make you sing.”
You gasped into the next kiss and let him maneuver you so that you were pressed back-to-front, with his looming horns casting shadows over the both of you. And gods above, you knew you’d promised that the whole ‘killing you’ comment had just been a playful euphemism, but even you weren’t really sure about that anymore. Your heart certainly seemed determined to beat its way out of your chest, and you did probably need that to go on living. Not that you could find it in you to care even a lick. If you collapsed after all this and never woke up again, you would have at least died happier than most.
Malleus pushed forward, draping his bulk across your back, and you wound up on your knees—collapsed forward on your elbows and cushioned by the soft piles of blankets, and pillows, and every other comfy treasure that the pair of you had worked to find together.  
“Did you mean what you said?” he asked, trailing wet, openmouthed, kisses across your shoulder blades.
“What did I say?” you mumbled, arching up under his mouth like a cat being stroked along its spine.
“That you would let me mark you like this,” he said, closing the last of the kisses off with a gentle nip.
Your head lolled to the side as if of its own accord, bearing your throat in a way that had the dragon flat out groaning from above you.
“My fangs are sharp,” he rumbled, rolling his hips down against yours and letting his lips pull back over his canines in an expression that in any other situation you would have called a snarl. “So sharp you might not even feel it. But,” he continued, with another languid grind, “I think I would prefer that you do.”
And how on Earth would you ever have been able to say no to that?
One of the hands ensnaring your waist slid back down south, trailing over the areas he’d already well acquainted himself with. You rolled your hips back into his palm, and something not unlike a hiss ripped its way out of his throat. And then he was pushing forward again with that same, near agonizingly gentle, probing. Even if this time there was a great deal more intent behind it than just feeling around for all the best spots to have you shaking out of your skin.
The glide of his fingers was smoother than you’d been expecting without the aid of oil, or, well, whatever. But then you remembered that magic was a thing, and briefly thanked all those gods you’d been cursing, because at least that was something. And also the fact that this gloriously wonderful dragon had only literally just eaten you out like his fucking immortal existence depended on it, and that’d probably helped quite a lot with the whole ‘making things a bit more slippery’ logic.
That same desperate call of ‘closer, closer, closer’was singing in your blood again, and by the time he’d worked up to two fingers, then three, you were writhing around like all the most ridiculous, overblown, Bard Stereotypes that you’d always hated. Because no one was really that wanton or clingy—it was just shitty, tavern, gossip that Ace liked to use to get a rile out of you. But man alive, if all those busybody bargoers who’d had to sit through your staunch ‘Bard’s Aren’t Actually Like That!’ speeches could see you now.
(Not that you had any delusions about Malleus letting anyone see you like this—what with the way his guttural growls were rolling through your bones like a tangible thing with teeth, and claws, and fire.)
“You look a bit flustered, darling,” he mused, the words a muddied kiss against the hollow of your throat. You couldn’t see his expression past your own, squinting, ridiculousness, but you had a feeling he was teasing you. Or at least really fucking good at ripping the thoughts out of your brain to comment on at his leisure.
“Really?” you gasped, hoping it sounded more annoyed than it probably did. “Why ever might that be?”
You managed to drill enough focus back into your brain to will your eyes to turn and glare up at your enchanting, wonderful, perfect tormentor. And didn’t someone have a lot of nerve trying to poke fun at you when he looked half-a-step away from feral—a fevered red stained high across his cheekbones and mouth parted with a perpetual sort of panting that had thin trails of grey smoke seeping past his fangs to swirl in the air around you.
You breathed in that heady fog and put every last remaining thread of your Bardic Charisma on the attack.
“Well?” you demanded, swaying your hips back against the pulsing heat of his own. “Was all this courtship stuff to make me your mate or wasn’t it?
The sound that punched out of Malleus’s gut was nearly wounded in its intensity, and then he was bullying his way as close into your space as was physically possible—latching onto your mouth from over your shoulder with something that was far more ‘bite’ than ‘kiss,’ and sinking all the way in to the root of him with one, long, push.
Your toes curled on a yelp and you just barely managed to swallow a noise that was even more humiliating than that. It took a few, solid, thrusts for him to figure out how to settle himself inside you without just shoving the both you forward at the hips—skidding through the unstable surface of the fluffy blankets pooled beneath your knees. His clawed fingers came down to dig into the pillows by your head, bracketing you in and creating a point of stabilization amidst all the senseless heat. And with that, your brain had officially abandoned the building. Malleus dipped his hips forward in a particularly sharp roll that had something inside you twitching and tightening on a gasp. You could see the muscles cord along his lower arms, how the tendons of his wrist stood out taught against all the smooth, sculpted, white of him.  
Your elbows shook and your shoulders curved forward as you tried to steady yourself. Malleus slipped one of the hands that had bracketed itself by your head to instead curl into the space beneath your chin and help keep you propped upright. The support had your back arching into something new, and his hips rolled down against that fresh angle like it was a challenge. You squeaked, and that horribly embarrassing noise twisted up into something long, and high, and thready when he ground down hard.
“Ah,” he trilled, all animal satisfaction. “There’s that song of yours.”
Whatever sort of obligatory, whining, protest you were about to make was overridden by a hiccupping gasp when he dragged you back against him only to shove forward with enough force that you wound up with your face buried in fabric and your back aching. In a pleasant sort of way—not the ‘he may have literally just fractured my fucking spine’ way. Which, who knew? Maybe that was a possibility here. You were human, and small, and mortal. And he was a beast that sat only a ladder rung down from godhood. But with the heavy, hot, push push push drumming away at your core, you couldn’t find it in you to care if you never walked again.
You’d been prepared for a build—because that’s how it went, right? The slow, romantic, cresting of sparks that would eventually unfurl through the rest of you like a dream. But instead, one moment you were gasping like a damn asthmatic against the strong arm keeping you upright, and the next your gut was snapped tight, and sharp, and hot, and you were wailing into your pillows as a dam you didn’t realize was wearing away broke. You shuddered through the electricity searing your veins, and Malleus snarled over your shoulder.
He bit down into your neck with something that was practically a roar, and you felt your own teeth sink less impressively into the arm that he’d propped beneath your head. He was right—his fangs were sharp. And you were left less feeling like you’d had a chunk of your shoulder chewed into bits, and more like there was just a heavy, hot, pressure burrowing its way into your skin as far as it could go.
You gasped through the lingering, jerky, sparks zipping along your spine, before eventually that endless grinding, and fullness, and the new and very obvious flood of liquid warmth became too much, and you slumped fully on your front to pant into the blankets. Malleus collapsed at your back not long after, and immediately moved to curve himself against you like a pair of foxes in a den—entwined from head to toe. You could feel the snuffle of his breath as he sighed against you, his hands kneading almost absentmindedly into the sore flesh at your hips.
It took a great deal of time for your heartrate to settle back into a semi-stable rhythm, rather than continue its valiant attempt to gallop straight out of your chest. And you could feel the dragon’s own great pulse slowly gentling into a low thump-thump, thump-thump against your hide.
Once you’d melted into something a little less shivery and fucked-out-of-body, Malleus shuffled himself forward and began to drag his tongue in soft strokes against the weeping mark he’d left at the junction of your neck. That weighted pressure had faded into a tempered throb—nothing more sore than the rest of you, to be perfectly honest. Even if you could feel the beginnings of tacky blood trailing down your front. He cleaned you diligently, delicately. Like this new wound of yours was a treasure that rivaled those he kept hoarded away in the cavernous rooms beneath your feet.  
“Is it what you expected?” you asked softly, mostly referring to the stark mark now stamped into your skin like a brand, but also too swirled up in contentment to differentiate too much from the pleasant ache burning through your hips. Through your everywhere.
“Better,” he trilled, chest rumbling with something that was too deep to be a purr, but was certainly something like it. He lifted his arm to observe the faint impressions your own teeth had left against the pale skin there. “Though this one will certainly need refreshing.”
“My teeth aren’t as sharp as yours,” you lamented, and he raised a lazy thumb to trail the pad of his finger along your blunted canines. “It’d probably hurt a lot if I tried to leave something more permanent.”
“You speak as if that’s any sort of deterrent.”
You huffed in fond amusement before rolling onto your back to give your muscles a good stretch. With all that jostling around, the sticky sort of wetness beginning to seep along the inside of your thighs became much more obvious. Malleus stared down at the mess between your legs with an expression that was half fascination, half frustration. He reached out with a stern sort of pout on his lips to run a finger through his cooling spend and press what he could back inside you. The sharp, hot, tug that yanked from below your navel was so much worse than any kind of wincing oversensitivity.
His petulant leer shifted back up to your own, uh, not entirely composed expression, and he huffed softly—sending a puff of warm, smoky, breath along your cheeks.
“I’d prefer for you to keep as much of it as possible,” he rumbled, like that wasn’t one of the most unintentionally debauched things you’d ever heard come out of another living being’s mouth. “Your human nose may not be able to discern the difference, but for us drakes, the change in scent is certainly a strong indicator that a mate has been properly claimed and is no longer free for the taking.”
You sniffed pointedly, and all that swam through your head was the heady, musky, perfume of sex—all underlaid by that familiar smoke and petrichor smell of his. Heavier now, maybe. Like the charred remnants of a forest fire being doused beneath the fat drops of spring rain for the first time.  
“What?” you giggled good naturedly. “In case some other immortal, all powerful, dragon comes along to steal me away?”
He rumbled under his breath, and the claws at your hips flexed into pinpricks against your skin. Lightly enough to let you know he understood it was only a joke, but probably one that he wasn’t overly fond of nonetheless.
“You are certainly a worthy enough prize,” he said.
“Ah, yes,” you lamented. “With my spindly spells and impeccable ability to regurgitate the most garbage fairytales in existence. You’d have to go to war for my hand.”
“Of course I would,” Malleus said, with such quick certainty it had your heart kicking up a fit all over again.
“Well, if it’s that much of a concern, we can always just keep working at it,” you hummed, a little of that cheekiness tapering off into genuine fondness at the end. “You know, like a layering process.”
“Is that so?” he droned, a lazy, satisfied, grin working its way across his mouth. It was crooked and a little odd on his face—just like the lopsided smile he’d gifted you after you’d handed him a bundle of cheap fabric and stuffing and called it a friend.
“I mean, I still have a whole side of my neck with no teeth marks or anything, Tsunotarou,” you pointed out, and the bark of laughter that erupted from his throat was all dark, velvety, warmth.
“Oh, my dearest little human,” he sighed, far too besotted for a creature that could likely rend the world in two if he so wished. Instead, Malleus Draconia—last of the Great Briar Beasts of Old and Master of the Castle within the Lava Lakes—just tucked his silly, little, bard up tight into his chest, like he could crack open his ribs and hold you there forever. “I’ll definitely be keeping you.”
.
.
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manicpixiefelix · 3 months
Text
he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) // epilogue
{ head, heart, hand. masterpost }
Summary: Oliver is haunted by what he's done to get his happy ending in Felix's arms. His guilt is only made worse when he meets the first member of your family to actually remind him of you. Unfortunately, he does not find it to get better from there.
{ context; please read he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) first }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD IN THIS ONE, but you do get to haunt the narrative. congratulations?
Warnings: discussions of death/overdose, lots of guilt, manipulative oliver, felix being upset, vaguely unhealthy oliver/felix, lotsa angst, oliver quick reckoning with the sunk-cost fallacy.
A/N: 6828 words. first, i don't usually do part 2s when i say something is a oneshot, so this is a rare occurrence. secondly im sorry this is almost 7k there's something wrong with my brain i think. thirdly bro, bro, listen to me; ANGST. HURT NO COMFORT. HURT NO COMFORT. it's soft in the middle THE SOFTNESS IS A LIE. ITS GONNA HURT ALL THE WAY DOWN (apart from nana i love her nd i hope you will too)
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One hour and fifty three minutes.
Rounded up, because all things considered, he should round it up, that's two hours.
Two hours. Like the blink of an eye in the scope of a whole life. But a very long time when you sit and count it out.
One hundred and twenty minutes. Seven thousand, two hundred seconds. He's always counting two hours, seeing exactly how long it feels like, how he can fill that amount of time. Seconds pass like a steady heartbeat.
He can do a lot in two hours.
Oliver tries to occupy himself nowadays more than ever, and really tries not to be alone, but it's hard. Farleigh left for Oxford. Venetia, before she decided to backpack across Europe and find herself, wouldn't let anyone touch her anymore.
Oliver doesn't like leaving Felix alone, but sometimes he has to be. You're laying cold in a family crypt somewhere next to a grandfather you never knew, and while Elspeth and Sir James don't comment on it, they both scowled when your parents sprung the announcement on everyone at the funeral.
Felix spends a lot of time alone at the edge of the maze. He's making a fairy garden where you had waited. Sometimes he'll drive into town without telling anyone, and come back with quaint, second-hand miniatures to add. It's beautiful, shining with greens and golds when the setting sun hits it just right.
So Oliver finds time to occupy himself, when he's alone and all he can think about is you sitting by the maze. You laying by the maze. You alive when he'd run from the maze. And the two hours that followed.
Sometimes he leans out of his window and shouts to the gardeners so far away they look like ants; even at this distance, his voice carries, and he sees them turn, search for him, ask if he's okay. He is, and he apologises, and he think about how far his voice carries.
On occasion, out of the blue, he'll lift Felix up when he hugs him, able to get his feet off the ground as Felix wriggles and clutches him out of surprise. Of course Felix lifts him with ease in return, spins him around, but that's not the point. Oliver is stronger than he looks; he wonders if he could lift you, could carry you far, if he could have dragged you if it had come to it.
Some nights he wakes up in a fright, your rapid heart rate beneath his fingers and he swears he could hear you whispering for help amid your shallow breathing. Please. Pleading. Begging. You were alive when he'd left you. He presses two finger to Felix's pulse point beside him, and tries to calm his breathing, to focus on Felix's slow, steady heartbeat.
And some days he sneaks into the computer room and curses how long webpages take to load when he looks up statistics on overdoses. Symptoms. Niche forums where he can learn what it felt like from survivors. People luckier than you. Their words, their stories, the recollections of those horrifying sensations stick with him, even as he diligently erases any trace of his browsing history.
And he thinks about how fucking long two hours is.
"Nan's coming over later," Felix tells Oliver idly one Sunday afternoon, "we're having tea of you'd like to join us." They're laying out in the grass, Oliver in the grass finding shapes in the clouds, Felix on his side, chewing on the stick of a lollypop he'd finished an hour ago and gently tracing abstract patterns on Oliver's chest.
"I thought you said your granny haunted Saltburn," when Oliver looks at Felix, he still can't help the way his heartrate picks up. Felix Catton touching him in the most gentle, caring way; he'd never stop feeling lucky for getting here, and never forget what he did to earn it.
Felix's gaze moves with his fingertips, up Oliver's warm, bare chest, twisting two fingers in the delicate chain around his throat. He looks pensive; but shakes his head after a beat.
"Different nan," he says distractedly, plastic straw trapped between his teeth. He tugs the chain experimentally, like he's forgotten it's attached to Oliver at all. He's in his head again; Felix is always in his head nowadays, but there's still often echoes of who he was, echoes of what Oliver has fallen for in the first place.
And he's finding himself falling more and more for this version of Felix too. So he tell himself that it was all worth it.
"Love," all these pet names - Love, Darling, Sweetheart - because if he slips up, tries to call him Fi, Oliver knows he'll only get ice in return, "is everything okay?" Oliver carefully reaches up to cover Felix's large, warm hand by his throat with his own. Felix meets his gaze, and gives a faint smile, an attempt to reassure him when he says he's fine. It doesn't work, but Oliver lets it go, and lets Felix tug him in by his chain for a kiss.
"Tea sounds lovely," Oliver murmurs against his lips.
There's something about this visit has Felix alive and buzzing the he way he hasn't in a very long time. Still he's quiet, but his eyes are bright as he follows behind the staff members setting up tea and biscuits in the garden. He goes through all the DVDs the family has and picks out a stack he thinks would be suitable, making sure they're all perfectly stacked by the DVD player. Oliver floats along behind him, and simply allows himself to admire Felix's energy.
Still, Felix finally takes a moment to breathe right as it becomes noon, and decides to have a bath to freshen up before his guest's arrival; two hours before she'd be here, Felix reminds him.
Two hours.
Oliver feels drawn to his own room. He doesn't allow himself to be alone in Saltburn often anymore, doesn't like the thoughts that crop up when he does. Perhaps it's a kind of punishment, a painful reminder, penance for what he's done.
There's a scrap of paper that he keeps tucked in a book in his nightstand, his own handwriting stuffed amongst a collection of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories, words he'd clung to and scribbled out the minute he'd gotten the chance so he'd never forget them exactly.
From the coroner's report, according to Duncan and Sir James. Time of Death; around 2am. Cause; narcotics overdose, and there were signs of alcohol poisoning.
On the back, he'd written '12:07'.
"Mum and dad both say it was a tragic accident," Felix's voice in the dead of night, the night they'd gotten the full report, riddled with guilt and unspilled tears, betrays his disbelief regarding the sentiment. Felix doesn't talk about how his last words to you were shouted with anger. Felix doesn't talk about how your last words to him were a desperate plea for him through tears. Felix doesn't think that it was an accident; only Oliver knows that he's almost right, just not in the way he thinks. Or dreads. But he has to bite his tongue on the truth, and let the man he loves live with this unjust guilt.
The water starts loudly draining for the tub, and Oliver isn't sure how long he's been sitting on the edge of his bed with his eyes squeezed so tightly shut, but he scrambles to stuff the page back into the book, and toss it back into it's drawer. He can smile again, and admire whatever outfit Felix chooses for the rest of the day, and pretend like he doesn't feel your rapid heartbeat or hear your shallow breathing every time he touches that paper, like he had the night he left you.
With the hour drawing ever closer to two, Felix keeps checking his watch. The minute he deems it to be time, he gives up all pretence of small talk - which had been another thing severely lacking as of late - and snatches Oliver's hand, pulling him through the house. They even outstripped Duncan and the footmen by the door when there comes a firm knock. Its the only time Oliver has ever seen any of the Cattons open the doors for themselves.
And it's not Felix's grandmother.
"Hi, nan," Felix sounds so genuinely happy as he hugs the older woman at the door with a warm smile and your eyes.
Oliver feels like he's frozen, like he's seeing a ghost. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Duncan actually standing aside, giving Felix and your grandmother a quietly fond smile.
"I swear you get taller every time I see you, oh, my lovely boy," she says with a warm laugh that sounds so damn familiar, "or maybe I've been shrinking, you get to my age and people tend to do that," and Felix laughs, actually fucking laughs. Oliver realises it's been a long time since he'd heard Felix give a proper laugh like that. As the hug ends, Felix let's her tuck her arm in his as she continues, "just you wait, one day you'll only be six-foot tall." Another laugh, and Oliver can see how genuine and broad he's smiling, how his eyes shine when their gazes meet. She's surprisingly sprightly for her age, it seems. Oliver recognises your grandmother from your funeral, but hadn't made the connection at the time, so he's surprised when Felix goes to introduce him and her eyes sparkle with recognised.
"Nan, I don't know if you've been properly introduced, but this is -"
"Your Darling, Oliver," and it's said with such warmth; her hug feels almost like home, "you strange, little thing," she laughs, "it's called a hug; are you not a hugger? I should have asked," but she doesn't apologise, nor does she let go for a few more beats. Oliver gives into this moment, closes his eyes tightly and hugs her back.
"Our Darling Oliver," Felix echoes with such admiration, and when Oliver opens his eyes, it's the first time since you'd passed where his gaze has held only the love and pride Oliver had been craving since he'd first laid eyes on him.
Once Nana - she'd insisted Oliver call her that too - lets him go, she tucks her arm in his, and is waving Felix over to her other side, briskly asking where tea was to be held. Duncan leads the way and she fawns over him too, apparently downright overflowing with love for Saltburn and everyone and everything in it. She talks more than she doesn't, but considering who Oliver is and who Felix has become, that suits them both just fine.
It's been too long since they've had tea together, she insists, and doesn't talk about why exactly that would be. She doesn't bring you up, not while you were all making your way through the house, but once she's settled outside, she takes a moment. The way she looks at Oliver in this moment makes him queasy; the smile, that look in her eyes, the way her gaze takes all of him in. A woman, whose time is so precious to her, taking her time to make him feel seen. Felix is quiet, intrigued by the exchange.
Your phantom heart beats beneath Oliver's fingertips.
"You're Y/N's grandma," Oliver says quietly, breaking the tension. Present tense still, they all play pretend. She smiles, and finally leans back. The moment is broken; Felix pours them each a cup of tea. Nana takes a jammy dodger and looks over the gardens with a smile.
"Of course, dear," she says sincerely, taking a bite of the biscuit, but being so eager to talk that she spoke through half a mouthful, "and when they were thirteen they told me I was Felix's grandmother too, because they'd overheard Felix's mum talking about how she hoped they'd get married some day." Felix snorted a laugh at that, turning pink around the ears as he prepared everyone's tea, as if on autopilot.
"Does that -" Oliver begins awkwardly, but he tries to smile, "do you think in time, they would have ask the same of you about me?"
"Considering how they spoke about you," there's a twinkle in your Nan's eyes as she turns back to him, smile knowing, "there's absolutely no doubt in my mind, my dear." All you had ever done was love him; love him and stand in the way of the love he desperately craved.
Oliver watches his tea for a long while, spinning the ornate cup on its matching saucer, while your Nana almost immediately picked hers up and took a tentative sip. Watching out of the corner of his eyes, Oliver notes the way her face goes on a journey of emotions, from pleased, to confused, to a sudden realisation as she looks to her cup.
"I should have asked you how you liked your tea," Felix realises too late, apology in his voice as Nana puts her cup down with a forlorn, yet fond look.
"No, darling, it's nice to know you know how my grandchild liked their tea," and she holds her cup delicately, looking into it's warm, brown depths, "just the same as I always made it for both of us when they were much, much younger."
"I am so sorry to ask," Oliver hears himself blurt out, unable to help himself, "but how does all this love just skip a generation?" It comes out far worse than he intends it to; he means to ask how someone so loving as you come from parents so uncaring, yet how did either of those parents turn out the way they did when the woman in front of him was clearly bursting with just as much love as you had been. Thankfully, instead of being offended, your grandmother laughs.
"My daughter is a wonderful, intelligent, compassionate, impressive woman," she begins, but sighs with unmistakable disappointment, "but my late husband was never capable of even trying to be a father over pursuing his own interests, and it's one of the few traits she actually inherited from him," she shook her head, "and she went on to fall in love with a man who loved her but suffered from that exact same defect," after a beat, she looked up with a warm, reassuring smile, "it's why I love Y/N so fiercely, and so hard," her grin turns soft and adoring, looking between the two boys before her, "the only way my daughter has ever disappointed me is as a mother, but I will never be disappointed in Y/N as my grandchild."
Oliver knows there's tears in his eyes, and Felix has ducked his head. Immediately Nan begins apologising, realising she'd set both of them off. Despite this, Oliver tries to wave her away, insisting it's fine, before he asks about her; he's heard bits and pieces he thinks, but Y/N had always been so cagey about their family. Honestly he's surprised that your grandmother knows so much about him when he feels like he's barely heard about her.
Despite turning out to be an incredibly decorated artist, with paintings selling for more than Oliver's pretty sure his own family's house is worth, your Nana is quick to downplay her own successes, simply insisting that it took decades of hard work. Again, he sees you in her eyes.
"We've got a few up around the house," Felix adds, "most of them actually from before we even met Y/N," and your Nana gives him a shove, as if flustered and embarrassed by the idea. But Felix is beaming, happy to be showing off her accomplishments, just as he always took joy in celebrating you; "there's one in your room."
"What?" Oliver asked, and your grandmother also seemed surprised, though touched by the thought.
"It used to be their room, actually, but Ollie moved in there, so Y/N was staying with me," he explains a little awkwardly, wanting to skim around as many implications as he could. Thankfully she doesn't comment. All she asks is which one. Felix and Oliver both think about the room; Felix about the few pieces of art on the walls, Oliver about your time of death in the drawer. You were alive when he left you -
"That one of the stars, and that person smoking; I think you actually gave it to them as a gift," he frowns for a beat, "for when they turned seventeen, I think?"
Oh, Oliver knows that one. It's enchanting, blues so deep, so rich it's like you could swim in them, stars that seemed to actually glow on the canvas, and the hazy, dark outline of the window in the foreground, and part of a figure against the windowsill, lit cigarette the lone spot of fire, of red or orange, that makes everything else warmer for it.
"That one really surprised me actually," Nana admits, giving Felix a shrew smile, though he only seems confused, "did they ever tell you anything about it?"
"Said you painted it for them; pretty sure I remember them crying about it," he says fondly, reminiscing, "one of the best gifts they ever got, I'm not lying, they say it every year. It's beautiful." Then, as if recalling what she'd actually said, he looks at her curiously, "surprised you?"
Her smile widened into something both knowing, and endeared.
"I asked them to send me a photo, a postcard, their very best drawing, anything, as long as it was their favourite place in the world - do you really not recognise it?" The tea and biscuits are gone by now, the tea portion of their afternoon is coming to a close. Felix shook his head, almost looking like a lost child, as if he was aware there was something he was supposed to be understanding but couldn't quite get it, "Felix, my dear boy, they sent me a photo of you; that's their dorm room window from boarding school."
Felix looks winded, and a bit like he's about to cry.
"Oh you two were impossibly sweet," she reaches over and holds his hand tightly, looking over to Oliver earnestly, "you take care of this dear boy and his heart, you hear me?"
"Yes," Oliver all but trips over his words to agree, "of course, nan." And she gives him a pleased grin.
They move indoors after this, Felix quiet but lending his arm to Nana, which she takes, while she explained that usually you and Felix would visit a few times a year when they were on break, but she thought it would be best to come to Saltburn this time, given the circumstances.
"You should come see the place when you get the chance," she insisted, patting Oliver's hand.
"It's mostly where Y/N was raised before they ended up staying at Saltburn," Felix supplied with a grin, piquing Oliver interest.
"Y/N's childhood home? Oh I have to see that," he grins, and your grandmother grins brightly for a long moment.
"I'm sure Y/N would love that, they can give you the grand tour -" but her face falters, falls, as if she'd just remembered. Sombre silence, the spell is broken. "I'd love to have you around, dear," she corrects, much softer this time.
Felix lets her pick a movie, while Oliver settles himself awkwardly on the sofa. He wants to reach out to Felix, to touch his cheek, feel his boyish smile and know that it's real. But Felix isn't really even looking at him. There's something childlike about his enthusiasm here, about how he sits on his knees on the floor, watching with rapt attention as your grandmother pores over them. He practically glows as she praises his choices. When she picks one, she hands it over and he scrambles on all fours across the short floor space to the DVD player, fumbling with the case like he can't put it in fast enough. There's a softness in your grandmother's eyes as she watches the boy who has seemingly forgotten the man he is; when she looks at Oliver, its like he sees her asking how easy is he to adore, what a beautiful young man.
"You don't mind watching a movie do you, Oliver, dear?" She asks, though it's clearly an afterthought. He's already shaking his head, assuring her it's fine. Felix is already scrambling back, remote in hand. Oliver tries to make space for him on the sofa between himself and your Nana, but he seems content to sit on the floor in front of her, leaning back against the sofa with her knees gently pressed against either of his shoulders. Handing her the remote, Felix twists to give Oliver an expectant smile.
"Come here, mate," he insists, patting his lap, his legs kicked out in front of him. At Oliver's obvious confusion, Felix blinks for a few moments. It's like he's waking from a dream. His face falls, he goes to apologise, strained smile on his face, "sorry, I know that's weird, you don't have to -"
Slowly, Oliver moves from the sofa, sitting beside Felix on the floor. Your grandmother's knee is pressed gently to his back, but he's not quite sure if he's capable of relaxing enough in this moment to mind. She's playing with Felix's hair, having already started the movie.
"This is what you and Y/N would do," Oliver said softly, and rested his head on Felix's shoulder. Felix takes his hand, and laces their fingers together.
"Do you like it when people play with your hair, Oliver?" Your grandmother asks idly.
"Um, sometimes," he answers, still feeling rather awkward. He hears her chuckle warmly.
"It's okay if you don't want me to; Felix likes it so much he lets me braid it when it's long like this."
"Oh, I know Felix loves it," Oliver hears himself agree, "if he were a cat he'd be the kind to purr any time someone scratched between his little cat ears." And while both he and your grandmother share a fond laugh, he can hear Felix's smile in his words. He gives Oliver's hand a squeeze.
"I can't even argue; I wish I could purr right now."
Oliver wants to bottle this moment forever, keep it locked tight in his chest.
But the movie is a long one. One hour and fifty six minutes. Two hours rounded up. A whole two hours. Enough time to fall asleep with his head in Felix's lap the way they both said you used to. He wakes with your heartbeat in his ears, rapid, alive, left for dead.
"You okay buddy?" Felix looks at him with genuine love and concern; it's been such a long time since he'd seen that look, even with everything that had been happening, "I'm here, you're okay," he assured. Over by the television, putting the remote back, your grandmother glances over at the interaction with a warmth that makes Oliver feel queasy in this moment.
And he'll look up from the book, from his notes from the coroner's report crammed in, obscuring the end of one story while The Tell-Tale Heart begins on the other. Felix will be getting ready for bed in the other room, but he won't sleep there. He can't sleep there. Can't sleep in that bed without you, can't move the costumes from that night that hang side by side as a reminder of the hole you'd left behind in his life. Oliver will read approximately two am in his own messy handwriting, and look at the digital clock on his bedside that had read 12:07 when he'd crashed into his room and locked the door and sunk down against it. The numbers had been shining red in the darkness. On the wall behind, that starry night sky and the hint of Felix and his cigarette; a home you'll never return to hung up in the home you'll never truly leave.
He put enough coke in that bottle to kill a fucking lion. He'd given you the bottle. He'd told you he loved you. He'd left you like that.
He knew you were dying.
He'd left you alive.
Two hours.
The book snaps shut. In the silence he thinks he hears your breathing. Please, Ollie, help. Paranoia is a cruel thing, he has to tell himself; paranoia and guilt.
"Can I ask you something?" Felix joins him just as he's putting the book back in it's drawer. Oliver, heart beat racing - never as fast as the memory of yours, oh now it's all he can think about again - nods quickly. Felix sits on the end of the bed, clearly preoccupied, fussing with the buttons of his pyjama shirt. The days are getting cooler now; Oliver misses his bare skin against his, but he still feels too precarious to make such an observation.
"It's about Y/N," Felix swallows, can't meet his eyes, "about that night." Oliver feels his mouth go dry; the worst fucking night of his life. The night he doesn't know if he'll ever figure out if he regrets all he'd done.
He nods again.
"Were you the last person they spoke to?" It's like Felix is forcing himself to not shy away from this moment, giving Oliver the attention he thinks he deserves for such an important question. Then, after swallowing hard, he can't help but drop his gaze, "why," he can barely get it out, there's already a lump in his throat, "didn't they come into the maze too?" Oliver can't even give him that.
You'd been such a mess on your way to the maze, even with Oliver supporting you. Crying, furious, apologetic; you were everything at once. Even when you couldn't bring yourself to go in, everything about you had been sliding from one emotion to the next. But then it had stopped.
"I can wait for Fi here." It's the most sure that he'd seen you all night. It's when he knew. It had to be you, even if he loved you too. He'd never forget how clear your smile was, how sincere you'd urged him into the maze to follow the tail of what he thought was right. The sight of you, waiting, obedient and loyal for your master to return; "I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."
Oliver knew before he'd even entered the maze that Felix's return to you would be too late.
In the present, Felix waits too, diligent, expectant. Oliver thinks about lying. Oliver thinks about how the truth will break his heart. Oliver thinks about how close Felix will hold him in his guilt riddled grief.
"I don't think they wanted to interrupt -" Oliver tries to start, but Felix immediately swears, hangs his head.
"Can't fucking believe I did that," he spits, "I was angry, and off my fucking face, sure, but that was fucking low, even for me," he admitted, pitching himself back on the bed, whole face scrunched up with guilt, barking out an upset fuck far louder than the others, prompting to Oliver to tentatively ask what he means. Felix took a moment, as if forcing himself to calm down, before he admits, voice low like he was sharing a secret, "I never even took Eddie into the maze," he sighed. After a beat, he conceded, "no, okay I did, but we didn't do anything - we made out a bit, but -"
"You didn't fuck you ex-boyfriend in the maze," Oliver connected the dots quickly, "but you did fuck your best friend's ex-not-girlfriend who you kind of stole from them, out of spite after kicking them out of your the bed you've been sharing all Summer?"
"Fucking hell, Ollie!" Felix sounds especially wounded when he lays it all out like that.
"Sorry," immediately, Oliver apologises, knot in his stomach when he hears Felix's pained tone. He wonders if this was what it was like for you all through the night of his birthday. Fuck, he can't think about that.
"No, but you're right," Felix admits, eyes finally opening, looking all hurt and vulnerable. Oliver lays himself down next to Felix, going the other way, both of them looking up at the ceiling. Oliver's hands rest on his chest, trying again, softer this time.
"So was a special place to them?" He gets no response other than a guilty nose from Felix, "you think that's why they wanted to wait by the entrance?"
"They wanted to wait for me," Felix says weakly, clearly in his head about that night once more, "didn't want to interrupt even as I was fucking defiling our-" but he catches himself turning bitter again, mouth snapping closed, "after everything I said that night," he mumbles, "fucking hell," he chokes out. The pain in his voice is audible. This is the sweet spot, Oliver thinks.
"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver whispers amid Felix's faint sobs.
"What?"
"You asked me what their last words were," Oliver told him as softly as he could manage; Felix sits up, eyes wide, distraught, so full of guilt and love and - "only thing they were properly coherent about; waiting for you," Oliver props himself up, reaches out to wipe a tear from Felix's cheek.
"You're not- Ollie, please tell me you're not kidding," Felix practically begs.
"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver reiterates, making sure to meet Felix's gaze as he holds his face, "'s the last thing they said- they said; I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."
God he can see it in Felix's eyes; it's like the man's entire world crashes down around him. But he clings just as Oliver had hoped he would. As Felix holds him tightly, Oliver can't look at the glaring, red numbers of the clock on his bedside, the constant reminder of the two hours where he could have done something. Two hours and those wouldn't have been your last words.
He looks at the painting. At the stars. At Felix and his cigarette and your idea of what home looks like. The stars look just like they did that night. Just as bright. Oliver closes his eyes. Guilt twists people into shapes they don't often recognise; Oliver just holds Felix, hopes they twist into something together.
Except Oliver's guilt isn't the kind that twists, it's the kind that bites. It's like moths, eating him from the inside out. The guilt leaves him with jagged edges and thoughts he'd rather not be having; there are shades of Felix Catton that he loves, but shame and revulsion bites just behind the guilt as the months pass and he realises more and more this is not what he wanted. This is not the Felix he wanted.
Felix is like an echo, like the sun without it's warmth; he can look just the same, smile, talk, charm just the same if it was required of him, but there was something clearly missing from every interaction. Guests to Saltburn would pull his parents aside and ask if everything was alright. He is, but he is not the same as he once was.
Every day Oliver looks in the mirror and sees something grotesque behind his eyes that no-one else seems to notice. Felix Catton was meant to be the prize, the one who tossed aside everything but the best, the one who made the world fight for his attention, and feel heartbroken when he merely looked the other way. After all this, Felix Catton was not someone Oliver expected to be bored by.
Oliver Quick had lied for, lied to, betrayed the trust of, worked to gain the trust back of, loved, made fall in love with him, and literally murdered the love of his life who he also loved and was themselves also in love with Oliver while still considering Felix the love of their life, just to get a chance to spend his life by Felix fucking Catton's side. He wasn't allowed to not want this.
Felix smiles at him, says he loves him, fucks him, but it's not the dream Oliver once had. Something is always missing. No. Oliver deliberately took that thing away. But he can never admit that, nor can he ever regret that; too far gone. Oliver doesn't want to talk about the past, Felix can't being himself to talk about the future. Trapped together in the present, living lives that no longer feel like enough. Their routine becomes suffocating. Even Venetia, the few times she's stopped back at Saltburn, can barely manage a disdainful look, as if merely inconvenienced by Oliver's presence.
The growing apathy of the estate and it's occupants is exhausting. The cost of this lifestyle has long since surpassed it's value. He's even bored of being haunted. Two hours feels like fucking nothing when the days drag on the way they have been. Behind his eyelids he doesn't see you begging for help, you hiss for him to run, to get out.
He should have listened.
"Ollie, can I show you something I found?" Felix sounds bright today, and though Oliver wants to roll his eyes at the idea of anything in this house being new or novel enough to show off, he smiles back instead.
"'course Felix, what is it?"
Except Felix isn't smiling at him. Felix is looking far more serious and determined, sitting on the edge of their shared bed. Oliver immediately frowns.
"Have you been hiding something from me, Ollie?" It's a trap; a forced confession. Oliver shakes his head, plays dumb. Felix takes a deep breath, the kind that shifts his whole body, his expression remaining firm, "before I show you this thing, I want you to be honest with me; you promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore, you remember?" Oliver tries to lighten the mood, leaning against the window with a warm smile.
"Of course, my lovely Felix, no more lying," he assures, but the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with the way Felix remains quiet.
"What's seven-past-twelve mean?" Felix is watching him closely; too closely. Scrutinising his every move. It's like Oliver's been doused in ice water, even his tongue frozen in his mouth, "and what's it got to do with what happened on the night of your birthday?"
Felix doesn't even look at the night table as he opens it; his gaze is solely on Oliver. It's clear he'd done this before, pulling out the book, flicking through it's pages, and pulling the delicate, incriminating piece of paper out from where it had been safe for so many months.
"Felix, I-"
"What does twelve-oh-seven mean?"
Oliver is the deer again, trapped in Felix's accusatory gaze. For just a moment, Felix's voice drops, pleading with him for some other explanation, that Oliver wasn't somehow caught up in what happened, more closely, more malevolently than he'd ever said -
"Tell me," there's tears in his eyes, the furious kind, the ones where he's desperate to love and hope against all odds, "Oliver," he pleads through gritted teeth, "tell me you didn't know."
"Know what?" Oliver's voice is a hoarse whisper; he knows he is caught, all he has left now is borrowed time and a desperately silver tongue he doesn't know if he can rely on anymore. But Oliver's tragically weak denial is enough for Felix to all but jump to the right conclusion.
In a rush, Felix has Oliver by the collar of his shirt, pressed to the window -
"You knew they were dying and you fucking left them there."
This is the tipping point, the end of whatever good this had been. Felix could hurt him, Felix had hurt countless people on your behalf, he'd seen it himself. But Felix had always been the bleeding heart; you were the one who had to be kept on a leash. Felix could hurt him, could probably maim him for what Oliver was about to say, but he never shared your stomach for true Machiavellianism.
"Of course I knew," Oliver managed coldly, despite Felix attempting to crush all the air from him, "the amount of coke I gave them in that champagne could have killed a rhino-" it needed to be unforgiveable, the confession, so Felix would let him leave, would never want to see him again. He hadn't expected the force of Felix's rage to have the glass behind him give out.
Oliver falls from the second story window into the hedge garden below. Felix's shouting is tearing through the whole house it seemed, making his way downstairs, while Oliver tries to regain his breath and figure out if anything's broken. He's pretty sure it's not, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as Felix drags him by his feet from the hedges, demanding at the top of his lungs that Oliver get the fuck out of Saltburn.
Every single person who'd been in the house comes outside to view the commotion, to see Oliver struggling to his feet, to get away from Oliver. Elspeth looks helplessly between the two boys, wondering what happened -
"Tell her what you did," Felix demanded, once more getting into Oliver's space, jabbing at his chest, "tell her what the fuck you just told me -" and Oliver's strength isn't insignificant, but Felix is in a fury, flooded with rage and adrenaline, and he grabs the back of Oliver's shirt like he's scuffing a cat, shoving him towards his mother like an offering. Oliver struggles because he feels like he has to, feels wild, feels feral, but it's the most of anything he's gotten from Felix in so long. His mouth stays shut, won't give him the satisfaction of a confession.
"He killed them," Felix doesn't even let Oliver have his power play before he grows bored. He shoves Oliver just a little, grip unyielding despite Oliver's best efforts, like he means nothing to him. Elspeth and Sir James are confused, looking between them both, but Felix isn't done with stringing Oliver up for all of Saltburn to see, "Y/N; he intentionally dosed their drink and left them to die outside the maze."
The Catton parents immediately look crestfallen; it's the first time in months Oliver's felt genuine guilt again. Oliver stops fighting. Felix lets him go. Elspeth asks him if this is true; that heartbroken hope is going to make him sick.
"Just send me away already," he drops his head.
"Oliver," Elspeth's voice is firmer this time; when he looks up, she's stepping towards him, tears in her eyes despite how hard she's clearly trying to hold herself together, "is Felix telling the truth?" Is this it? Is this the final gate to his freedom from Saltburn.
"Yes."
Elspeth slaps him so hard her ring draws blood. Oliver hadn't thought that was even possible, but his head is ringing from the collision.
"Get. Out." She hisses with absolute malice as he's hunched over, clutching his face. Felix is by his mother's side in a heartbeat, arm around her, looking at Oliver with contempt. Behind them, Sir James is ordering Duncan and the other staff members to get Oliver off of the property as quickly as possible, but the look in Elspeth's eyes is burning, "this is my family, you monster."
At first, it almost feels worth it to leave Saltburn. To leave the Cattons and their bullshit and their games behind. He thinks he knows them well enough to trust that they don't want the kind of scandal a murder on their hands would be, and for the most part, he's right.
It's not the Cattons who haunt him after Saltburn, though they may be pulling the strings. It's you. It's you sitting on Felix's bed in his dorm room reading every single detail of Michael Gavey's file with threats on your tongue. It's the casual way you talked about being able to access his academic files to change his grades if he wanted. It's you, tipsy at Saltburn, admitting that you got Eddie transferred without his consent to a university on the other side of the country after he cheated on Felix with Venetia.
There's no place for Oliver to return to at Oxford... He's not entirely surprised about that, however, there's also apparently no record of him ever attending. Any calls or enquiries he makes are shut down with the kind of immediacy that seemed reserved for shows about government conspiracies. When applications open for other universities, it seems websites shut down the minute he fills out his damn name. Nowhere in the world seems willing to consider him.
Having him audited seems like overkill. When it happens the next year, despite no employer willing to even consider him for an interview, the existential dread of his situation sets in.
Felix never had the stomach to finish the job; he'd let you haunt Oliver forever.
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lazyjellyfish300 · 2 months
Text
Traitor💔
Miguel O'Hara x Spider-Woman Reader
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Synopsis: A blurb detailing your heartbreak from Miguel inspired by some breakup songs. Word count 1.5k ish. Meant to be a one shot. (JK, I MADE AN EPILOGUE)
A/N: had this idea after @prettyinpink350 commented that The Woman He Didn't Choose part 1 reminded them of All Too Well-10 minute version by Taylor Swift. I imagine getting your heart broken by him would SUCK. The man has such a tragic backstory, it would take a long long time to get him to be comfortable with getting hurt again and vulnerable, possibly hurting whoever he's dating or seeing in the process if their expectations don't align. I think that ATSV and the comic version of him are different however, it's possible some of the personality traits would stay consistent and so as a result he might struggle with infidelity. I think he's had his fair share of experiences.
BUT I do still write sweet, fluffy soft Miguel, though. Because I do believe he has a soft side that exists and it's unfair imo to write him off as completely incapable of being a good partner because I believe he can. I imagine it'll be a tough road but he would eventually get there. He's a complex man and I love him anyway. 🫶🏽 Working on DD part 9 and the woman he didn't choose I promise, I've been dead lately in terms of motivation.
TW: MINORS DNI, ANGST, CHEATING (I DON'T CONDONE THIS), HEARTBREAK, BREAKUP, MIGUEL IS MORE COLD IN THIS, SMUT ( IT'S BRIEF, P IN V, DEGRADATION, SPANKING), age gap(reader is 26, Miguel is like 34-35), no happy ending
The songs that inspired this(all rights to rightful owners, some of the lyrics were tweaked slightly):
----
It was her. It was always going to be her.  
🎶I was just the villain built to come between you two. 
I'm just the other point of view. 🎶
It's the movie where the guy gets the girl in the end. She's the one that got away but then comes back into his life, lighting up his world, making him realize his new girlfriend would never come close. 
That all too familiar shift in the way he acted when she moved back into the city. When you noticed how he started looking at you with a gaze that was clearly being stolen by someone else. You decided to ask him about it and he dismissed you with a shake of his head, calling you paranoid. 
🎶Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew🎶
Now he brings her around, almost as though to shut you down on purpose. Showing her off like a brand new trophy. 
If any of the sweet nothings he told you were true, there's simply no damn way that he could have fallen in love again so quickly...
🎶Ain't it funny....🎶
----
But months later
🎶You call me up again just to break me like a promise.🎶
The 1 am call you know you shouldn't answer but you do anyway. 
"She's not here.......Please, I need you."
And there you go, jumping in the shower for a quick rinse and brushing your teeth, speeding towards his apartment like a dumb ass. 
------
"Fuck......FUCK! God baby...so fucking tight.....I missed this pussy, fuck...." 
A shower of sharp spanks land on your ass, one after another, after another as Miguel thrusts his cock into you from behind. 
"Yes.....harder, baby.....HARDER!" 
"Yeah?....You would fucking like that, wouldn't you....Needy little slut....mmmm you like it when I fuck you like this, huh? Can't get enough can you? "Had to come crawling back for more of this cock?"
Every word stings harder than the slaps he's giving you but it's a sick, twisted, erotic feeling. You actually love it. The fact that he's still craving your pussy even though he's supposedly with his dream woman. The fact that you're still on his mind as soon as she leaves. 
The fact that you're in his bed right now, not her. Even if only just for tonight. 
"Fuck....yes.....baby.....can't get enough of you....mmmmm fuck I missed you so much....." 
"Say that again." 
"Missed you so much Miggy...." 
"¿Cuánto?..." (how much)
"So fucking much....I crave you all the time....." 
Miguel lets out a loud groan and you practically scream as he pounds you without mercy into his mattress he shared with the other woman.
Shortly after, you're laying all fucked out, panting as you close your eyes, decelerating from the heavenly orgasm he pulled out of you, only for it to shrivel up when you feel your clothes land in a pile next to your head. 
"She'll be back any minute....you gotta hurry." 
"What?" You sit up, confused. 
Miguel's too busy taking a shower, trying to rid himself of your scent. The damning evidence of someone else in his bed while she was gone. 
You immediately regret ever coming over. 
You're about to rip him a new one but your spider senses tingle. You can feel her ascending the staircase. You throw on your leggings and hoodie and swing away into the night without saying goodbye. 
-----
You let him have it on the phone later. 
"I wish you thought through all of this before you strung me along and made me fall in love with you..." 
Miguel stands outside his apartment, he had to sneak down to take your call as soon as he was sure she was asleep. He tenses his jaw. He feels guilty but there's not much he can do about it now.
"She's older...more mature. I need to be with someone who's able to understand and live with my responsibilities. I shouldn't have given us a chance, but I did because I needed to move on from her.... I can't help that I've known her since we were kids. She gets me."
🎶So casually cruel in the name of being honest. 🎶
"Oh and I don't? I don't Miguel? So all those times I stayed up with you, crying, holding you and promising you I wasn't going anywhere, those didn't happen? Or the fact that I saw you lose it completely multiple times and still called you the next day? The fact that I was willing to let go all the times you let me down because I knew it wasn't your fault and the fate of the multiverse comes before everything else? I literally loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter?"
Silence. 
"Look, I just think that maybe if we had been closer in age, we would've been fine." 
🎶And that sentence made you want to die. 🎶
"That's not fucking fair, Miguel! I'm 26, not a baby! And we spoke CANDIDLY about this when we got together. I NEVER had, not even a HINT that this would be a problem for you, and now you drop it on me right as you tear my heart out?! And it's not even something I can change!" 
You pause, more sobs erupting deep from within your soul. 
"I'm sorry, that the stars didn't align and the timing wasn't perfect and my dad didn't fuck my mom around the same time as yours so I could've been born at a better time. I'm sorry that I tried so fucking hard to be the chill girlfriend who lets you do whatever even though I'm not. I'm sorry that I kept my fucking mouth shut when I knew damn well you were talking to her when we were together just so I could keep you around. I'm sorry that I'm not her..."
The line is painfully silent. 
🎶The idea you had of me, who was she?🎶
"So who's this version of me in your head you envisioned, huh Miguel? The perfect me that would've made you stay. Do I even know her? She's me, but she's not. She's not needy like I am. She's perfect. Has the perfect body, perfect hair, doesn't ever look bad for you. She's intelligent and has all the maturity you claim I don't. She reflects back on you perfectly every little thing you just LOVE about yourself because let's face it, that's the only person you really ever gave a fuck about."
Loud beeps assault your eardrum and you scoff in disbelief. He hung up, and who knows how long you were just talking to a wall. You hurtle your phone at the ground, letting the screen crack as your knees buckle beneath you and hide your face in your hands in despair. 
🎶When she's sleeping in the bed we made, don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me. 
Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt, yeah. 🎶
----
Trying to forget him as the weeks passed by ,albeit agonizingly slow. You find yourself weeping in the HQ bathroom, some girl asking you what happened: 
🎶You. That's what happened, you.  🎶
A few weeks later, a package with all of your clothes arrived at the post office for you so he didn't have to see you face to face. It even contained all of the pictures you took together and the letters you wrote him. He didn't keep a single one. 
You sat in the parking lot for a few minutes as you clutched the Disneyland tickets to your heart, sobbing. The cruel, cruel irony of remembering how you were in the happiest place on earth with him, the place that planted those dreams of happily ever after in that little girl's head, only for her to be crying over a man that stomped it into the ground years later.
Remembering how you walked back, arm in arm to your hotel room together as you leaned into his chest, giggling when you finally got him to admit the park wasn't as dreadful as he thought it would be, despite the ridiculous price tag. He only wanted to make you happy. 
🎶I remember it all too well. 🎶
Your lip trembles when you find the Mickey Ears you bought for him lying in the box. "Miguel" cross-stitched in curly gold writing on the back. 
Your red scarf from that first week together hung in the corner of his closet until your scent wore off. He would eventually have the gall to offer it to her one December night when she was shivering, saying that it was his mother's. 
----
Your tears make your vision blurry as you drive down the dark, rain soaked streets of Nueva York. 
You know his street is coming. 
When you do finally pass it, you use all your strength to keep your gaze straight ahead, the faded letters on his street sign disappear rapidly behind you as you take a deep breath, and head on home. 
----
Epilogue
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thechaoticdruid · 2 months
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So I've finished my first run through of the game and did the epilogue which was just so precious! But anyways, it made me think, how would the companions react upon announcing at the reunion you and your partner are expecting!
I actually don't do requests but I like this one. I haven't made it to the epilogue yet in game but I think I can still answer these. They might be short though so please forgive me! 😔
I also tried to keep the reader's sex and gender as ambiguous as possible, but some words are hard to convey in gender neutral terms. Also the reader's partner is not specified.
But if your partner is Astarion (like my Tav's) I feel like everyone would have a similar "Is that even possible!?" reaction, except maybe Gale cause he's well studied.
Shadowheart
If you're the pregnant one she remarks on how she thought you were getting fat.
Like girl has no chill.
But if you're the father I can see her teasing you about not being able to keep your hands to yourself around your partner.
Proceeds to gift you gothic style clothes for the little one when it's closer to the birth.
Wyll
He immediately congratulates you both and wishes you well on your new adventure in parenting.
Assures you that the two of you will make a beautiful baby.
Also he asks to touch the bump if the pregnant person is showing. 🥺
Buys toys for the baby before it's even born.
Karlach
Immediately screams "FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA BE AN AUNT!!!"
Runs around to tell everyone else and buys you both drinks to celebrate for the occasion.
Needs to be reminded that drinking is bad for the baby.
Will plant a big smooch on the baby bump if the pregnant person is showing.
Starts wearing a T-shirt that says "BEST FUCKIN AUNT EVER." Also gets a matching shirt for the little one.
Lae'zel
Unless she has Xan she isn't particularly interested. She'd probably still congratulate you in her own githyanki way I suppose if you're on good terms.
If she does have Xan she suggests they spar together some day. Though she is confident her son will be victorious.
This is probably her own way of having a play date for your children.
Gale
Congratulates you both and wishes the two of you the best.
Offers to teach the child magic when they become old enough to learn.
Buys you lots of parenting books and tries to help by reminding you lots of useful facts, but in the end he kinda just low-key starts to be a bit annoying.
He means well though.
Astarion
Of course he may already be well aware of the pregnant person's bun in the oven depending on how far along they are.
His vampiric senses alert him to the little heartbeat within, you see.
"Enjoy your last few months of freedom and sleep filled nights while you can, darlings!~"
"But really, I am rather happy for the two of you. Especially you, I didn't think you had it in you." He says condescendingly to the father of the child.
Honestly he's just a little bitter he's single and alone.
Pretends not to have any interest in touching the baby bump, says he has no interest in the little creature growing inside.
But if he has a good relationship with either of the two parents he will make the baby eccentric little outfits. Especially goes all out if it's a little girl. Purple and red ruffles all over.
Will get very offended if he doesn't see the baby wearing them.
He put his soul into those outfits godsdamnit!
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bosbas · 3 months
Text
Epilogue: quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
series masterlist previous part || alt ending
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pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 2.2k words
Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love (except not really anymore), alluding to sex, benedict being so down bad for this woman (like down horrendous), this woman being so down bad for benedict, pregnancy and discussions around pregnancy
Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.
A/N: i am so sad to let these bbs go i love them so much!! i will simply have to write drabbles because they are so dear to me oh my
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January 3, 1819 – Y/N
A happy new year indeed! I missed you all terribly during the holiday season this year, but John and I had a wonderful time here in Scotland with Michael. It snowed beautifully on Christmas Day, and it made me think of all of you and our often violent snowball fights on your birthday.
In fact, I believe this letter should reach you at around that time, so I am sending you the brightest of birthday wishes as well! While I won’t be able to attend your celebration this year, seeing how we’ll still be at Kilmartin House, I am sending you a wonderfully tight hug and hoping your day is incredibly special. Hit one of my siblings with a snowball for me, please! Preferably one of the boys, but really anyone will do. 
Love from your sister, Francesca
You squinted your eyes in your dimly candlelit bedroom, unsuccessfully attempting to undo the tiny buttons on your dress. Perhaps it was the undercurrent of nervousness that had been moving through you the whole day, but you found your fingers were shaking so much that you couldn’t hold them still for long enough to unclasp the buttons on your back. A deep sigh escaped your lips as you accepted that you were simply not going to be able to do this by yourself, and you gripped the edge of the chest of drawers in front of you as you willed your voice to come out sounding more carefree than you were feeling at the moment.
“Ben, darling, are you still upset about earlier?” you called across the room.
A small huff escaped his lips as he shifted on an armchair in the corner, murmuring something about betrayal and honor without looking up from his book. You smiled and held back a laugh, anxieties momentarily soothed. Per Francesca’s request, you had hit Benedict less-than-gently in the chest with a tightly packed snowball during your annual snowball fight earlier today, and he had taken it quite to heart. Well, that and the fact that you had sneakily teamed up with Hyacinth and Gregory without telling him. It really wasn’t your fault, you reasoned. Benedict had thought you would go easy on him simply because you were married to him, which, of course, was a foolish thing to think. Though he wasn’t as competitive as you were, evident in your much more successful Pall Mall record, you knew today’s loss still stung.
“Well, do you think could find it in you to help me with my dress?” you raised your eyebrows pointedly. “Or are you still feeling too betrayed?”
He immediately looked to meet your eyes, grudge completely forgotten as he nodded excitedly and rushed over to you from the armchair he had previously been sitting in. It was rather endearing that Ben was still giddy every time you asked for his help undressing, even after four years of marriage. 
After a few moments of Benedict concentrating intensely on the buttons on your back, you teased, “Are you enjoying yourself?”
He hummed in assent and smiled at you, meeting your eyes in the mirror. “Oh, immensely. It certainly makes up for earlier, I think,” he winked as he fiddled with the buttons. 
Honestly, you were inclined to think that Benedict had been secretly asking your seamstress to make the buttons smaller on each new dress she made you so you would have no option but to ask for his help. Even so, you wouldn’t have minded. You, too, enjoyed his sturdy hands on your back, his deft fingers fiddling with your dress and his lips softly kissing your shoulders as you told him about your day.
“A well-deserved win today, Mrs Bridgerton,” he said, never quite growing tired of how sweet the title sounded coming from his mouth. “And on your birthday no less. A stellar performance. I suppose I’ll have to start recruiting Simon and Daphne’s children to help me against the lot of you from now on. And then when we have ones of our own I can form a small army and I will never lose again.”
Your heartbeat sped up a fraction, but you were saved from having to answer when he undid the last button and your dress fell to the floor. Benedict placed his hands on your shoulders and gingerly turned you around to face him, drawing in a sharp breath as he took in your figure covered by nothing but your chemise, completely mesmerized by you. But he was quickly drawn out of his awe when he noticed your nervous eyes shifting around the room. 
“Darling, what’s wrong?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on your elbow and drawing you closer. “I wasn’t truly upset about today, I promise. I rather enjoyed seeing you, Gregory, and Hyacinth absolutely obliterate everyone else. It was only a slight inconvenience that I was one of the people you were obliterating.”
You shook your head, sending him a small smile. “No, no don’t worry, Ben. It’s not that at all,” you said, laying your head on his shoulder tiredly, an entire day of worrying having taken a toll on you.
“But it is something, then,” he prodded, desperate to find out what was making you so anxious. 
You said nothing, fiddling nervously with the hem of his waistcoat instead. Benedict, on his part, was growing increasingly alarmed. Usually, he could instantly tell exactly what was plaguing you, but you were being oddly evasive, and he was at a loss. Perhaps the best thing to do was to let you rest and broach the subject tomorrow morning, so he tugged on your hand and sat you down on the bed.
“It’s alright, darling,” he said, softly kissing your forehead. “I’ll ring for some tea, and we can get ready for bed.”
“I think I’m pregnant,” you blurted out before he could let go of your hand to go ask for some tea from the kitchen. Your shoulders sagged in relief, and you immediately felt a weight lifted off your shoulders as you said the words aloud.
“What?” he asked, eyes wide.
“Pregnant. With child.” 
“With my child?”
“Well, I certainly hope so,” you responded, laughing.
He instantly relaxed, rolling his eyes and engulfing you in a tight hug. “Oh, shut up, woman! I was merely trying to process the news,” he laughed, ecstatic that there would soon be a tiny version of one of you running around the house. He looked at you, eyes shining, and shook his head as if he couldn’t quite believe it. 
“So, you’re happy?” you asked, anxiety still lingering in the back of your mind. It had been four years, after all. Your marriage had happened rather hastily, considering the years the two of you had spent pining after one another, and you had decided to revel in your romance for a while before having children. And eventually, you had wanted them. It was just slightly frightening to know that the time had actually come. You were excited, of course. You couldn’t imagine a better life than one where you raised children alongside your best friend, but you couldn’t help the nervousness you felt as you locked eyes with Ben.
“Happy? I’m over the moon, darling,” he said giddily and pushed you back on the bed so he could plant kisses all over your face. 
“If I knew it would be like this I would’ve gotten pregnant earlier,” you joked as Benedict moved on to kiss your neck and your breathing got heavier. 
---
You awoke quite suddenly, sitting up in bed so abruptly that Ben’s arm, which had previously been wrapped around you with his hand placed on your stomach, fell away from your body entirely.
Benedict grumbled in protest, noticing your absence even in his sleep. Typically, you slept on your side, with Benedict wrapped around you until the moment you woke up. Despite your racing heart, you smiled down at him, placing a soft kiss on his temple and sliding yourself back into his arms. 
But your attempts to fall back asleep were futile. You had stopped tossing and turning but found yourself lying on your side, staring at the wall opposite you while you felt Benedict’s chest rising and falling against your back as he breathed. 
“S’wrong?” Benedict asked sleepily, sensing that you were still awake.
Not wanting to disturb his sleep more than you had already, you whispered, “No, it’s nothing, Ben. You can go back to sleep.”
But Benedict was having none of it. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, turning you around to face him. “That’s alright. I was awake anyway,” he lied, voice husky with sleep. “What’s wrong? I’m incredibly awake. Awake. I am awake.” 
“Sounds like it,” you said, laughing at him softly. You leaned up and pecked him on the lips, secretly thankful for his unrelenting line of questioning. 
Blinking the sleep from his eyes and leaning on his arm to face you, Ben looked at you and smiled fondly. “I am! Promise.” Then, tracing his fingertips on your arm, he pressed you a bit more. “It’s just me, darling. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m a bit scared,” you whispered. “Actually, I’m terrified. Terrified of becoming a mother, and of having to take care of an entire other human being, and of what it might change between us. Is this what you really want? Having a child?”
Benedict’s fingers never stopped moving as he thought of how to best address your fears, knowing the motion calmed you down. “Having a child with you,” he corrected. “Of course it’s what I want! I get to see a little bit of you in an entirely different person. And you’re my favorite person. So, I don’t really see a downside.”
You hummed thoughtfully, feeling slightly calmer. “But what if I’m a bad mother? What if our child is unhappy?” you cried, tears brimming your eyes as you thought of the endless scenarios in which you failed as a mother.
“What if you’re a great mother? And our child is happy?” Ben countered. “Look at how you are with Gregory and Hyacinth. How you’ve always been with them. You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Y/N. Besides, we’ll learn how to be parents at the same time and it’ll be something we do together.”
Nodding thoughtfully, you interlocked your fingers with Benedict’s. “I suppose you’re right,” you conceded. “It will certainly be a hell of an adventure.”
Sensing that you had calmed down significantly, Ben added cheekily, “Don’t forget you’ll finally have someone else you can force to listen to your ramblings about literature.”
You smacked Benedict playfully. “You enjoy the ramblings, might I remind you,” you replied airily. 
Kissing the top of your nose, he tucked your hair behind your ear and winked. ”Mm, I believe I did admit to this, yes.” Then, after a few moments of comfortable silence, he spoke up gently, “What about you?”
“What about me?” you asked.
“Is having a child what you really want?”
Your heart melted a bit. Even after he woke up in the middle of the night to have a chat with you and was clearly exhausted, he was still making sure you were alright. “Well, obviously. I’m thrilled! Especially now you’ve brought up the fact that I can have a book club of my own. If it’s a boy, I bet he’ll be just like you. A tiny Benedict running around the house ruining our expensive furniture with acrylic paint.”
“And if it’s a girl we’ll name her Daisy, right? Flower names and all that,” he replied sleepily, relieved you were finally easing into the idea of motherhood. “She’ll be just as smart as you are, I bet. I’ll give her the flower encyclopedia as well so she can know where her name came from. I think the one I gave you is still at Bridgerton House. I’m sure we could find it if we look.”
You gasped, having forgotten about your childhood plans to name your daughter after a flower. “Oh, that would be so darling!”
Benedict laughed softly, kissing you and pulling you back into his arms. “It would, wouldn’t it? Do you want to go back to sleep?” he asked, burying his nose in your hair as his eyes fluttered shut. You nodded, squeezing the hand that was nearest to you and interlocking your fingers. 
Ben was fast asleep soon after, but you spent a few moments looking at his sleeping form, chest rising and falling as his breathing deepened. Your heart swelled with love for this silly boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago. He was your husband now! Even after four years, you couldn’t quite believe how lucky you’d gotten. And you would get to raise a child together now. You really couldn't imagine anything better.
previous part || alt ending || buy me a ko-fi!
Tag List (lmk if you want to be added!): @bellahadidnt16 @like-gabriel-and-castiel @riverraingrayworld @5sos-calm @elissanatok @titanicnerd-blog @noonenuts @moonwayne @lilasblogg @mmontgomeryb @fulltacoparadise @joyfullymulti @sopanngon @fanfiction-she-wrote @aureolinb @ambitionspassionscoffee @bbubbllejisoo @marvelspogue @avengersgirlloriannaa @loliakeoghan23 @cierrajhilll @sadprose-auroras @merlieve @khaylin27 @cherrytop02 @little-duck @angerpearl @shondlenoodle @lyssamay52 @bags10 @angerpearl
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pikatrainer99 · 23 days
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Kieran is autistic and you can't change my mind!
Okay, I KNOW that I'm not the only one who holds this headcanon...but I wanted to do an analysis on Kieran anyway, especially since my best friend @sinnohanvulpix said she'd love to see me do one. Credit to her for all the screenshots used btw. The GIFs on the other hand were either found on Google Images or created by me using gifrun.com and these YouTube videos:
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I did not use my own footage for this at all...as proof here's what MY character in the game looks like...he has my real name but I tried to make him look like Orange which is why he has the orange eyes 😅
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(Sorry for the bad quality btw...taking pictures of my Switch screen is hard 😅)
Okay, now without further ado, let's get started with the analysis!
First, Kieran has a CLEAR special interest in Ogerpon, he admires and looks up to her, he was obsessed with the story of the ogre, he was always trying to go to her den and meet her, he has a meltdown when Ogerpon chooses the player over him, etc. Carmine even says that Kieran "really really REALLY likes the ogre" and that made me think, "Ah! Special interest!"
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And then at the end of the Teal Mask he gains a new special interest in getting stronger to beat the player...and he hyperfocuses HARD on that...to the point of it being detrimental to both his physical and mental health, as he was doing nothing but training during that time...he barely ate, barely slept, just trained...and that is not healthy. It's a rare example of media showcasing a special interest being unhealthy and absolutely CONSUMING one's life, and the consequences do actually show for it.
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Kieran is very introverted and doesn't know how to make friends very well. I actually think the player is his first friend considering his surprised reaction when the player says they consider him a friend, and following this, he quickly becomes a bit...too attached to the player, as he doesn't quite understand how friendships work.
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(This is also such a neurodivergent way to say "I'm so happy I finally have a friend")
He also struggles socially, as is a requirement for autistic people to qualify for a diagnosis. Kieran specifically has a hard time reading social cues, he struggles with making eye contact, he has clear anxiety when talking to people as proven by his little stutter he has at times.
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(This is an adorable screenshot 🥺)
He also struggles with social and emotional processing (and might have alexithymia as well due to his sudden huge outbursts of emotion), and he also struggles with initiating conversation as well, as seen when he tries to talk to Penny at the League Club. They both have no idea how to even start a conversation with each other and it's honestly pretty adorable seeing the two quiet adorkable kids trying their best to hold conversation. I get it, you two, initiating conversation is really difficult for me too.
Also the way they try to start the conversation by talking about the weather...that's really funny and ironic to me because that's what NTs do all the time. NTs always use the weather as a small-talk conversation starter but NDs like me (and Kieran and Penny too apparently) just don't get that stuff.
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(These two are so neurodivergent it's great and I love them both 🥺)
Kieran also has four in-game animations that I personally see as stimming. The first one is him tapping his fist against his hip when he's thinking or nervous.
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(Focus your attention to his hand here and you'll see it.)
The second one is him playing with a strand of loose hair, usually when he's nervous.
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(The little nervous side glance at the player is relatable and adorable 🥺)
The third one is a more agitated stim that he only does ONCE in the entire game...and that is tapping the front of his foot on the ground. I do that myself when I'm agitated or impatient, somehow it's comforting, especially since for some reason I really like the way my shoes sound when I tap them on the ground... especially since I got my brand new Infernape-themed shoes, they sound extra satisfying because they're brand new.
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(This is not the way most people tap their foot...I've never seen an NT do it like this...only other NDs such as myself and one of my brothers)
The fourth and final one is, unfortunately, a stress stim...Kieran runs his hands very fast through his hair and it also looks like, to me anyway as someone who has self-injurious stims myself, that he is digging his nails into his scalp as well while doing that. I do something similar myself, though on top of running my hands through my hair and digging my nails into my scalp, I also pull at my hair...yeah... self-injurious stims are no joke...and I'm kinda glad Kieran's autism coding brings attention to that aspect of autism...at least in my eyes as someone who does those things myself.
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(He's in so much stress here, poor kid 😔)
Another aspect of autism that I'm surprised and kinda glad that Kieran exhibits as an autistic-coded character is meltdowns and shutdowns. Kieran has actual meltdowns in the game! This is something we have never seen in such an in-your-face way in any Pokémon game, and as someone who regularly has meltdowns myself, it hit me in the feels whenever I saw him having them. His first meltdown is in the Teal Mask when he steals the Teal Mask and runs off to Loyalty Plaza where he battles the player. He yells at Carmine and the player for treating him like an outcast...which is unfortunately something that happens to a lot of autistic people, myself included. Kieran screams at the player and Carmine for for lying to him while doing his stress stim, before running up to the Lousy Three's shrine and punching it, without any regard for his safety, which is also something autistic people may do during meltdowns...I know I have no regard for my safety during mine. After that's all over he gives the mask back to the player and goes home, leaving the player to talk to Carmine alone, who says that she's worried and thinks it's just "teen angst". When I saw that I was like, "...Uh, Carmine...I don't think it's just that, I think your brother is neurodivergent and really needs a lot of help and support because he's struggling a lot right now..."
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His second meltdown is also in the Teal Mask, when he wants Ogerpon to go with him but Ogerpon wants to go with the player...Kieran can't process that and doesn't understand how to take Ogerpon's feelings into account, instead demanding the player to battle him for the right to be Ogerpon's partner. He collapses on all fours after being defeated again, and it gets worse...he looks like he's crying while the player battles Ogerpon in order to catch her. After the player catches her, Kieran wonders why he can't be like the player, and runs off crying, locking himself in his room for the rest of the story. The end of the Teal Mask has him doing his stress stim while being consumed by a new special interest in a very detrimental way...that interest being becoming so strong that no one can defeat him...including the player.
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Kieran's third meltdown is in the Indigo Disk, after the player defeats him in the championship match. That meltdown is a full-on cutscene, where it is CLEAR to see his spiraling mental state through the visuals, and he holds his hands on his head like he has a headache while trying to process the fact that he lost to the player AGAIN (which is also relatable as someone who struggles with processing difficulties myself...it really does give headaches and it is one of the worst feelings when I just can't process what's going on around me or the emotions I feel or anything really)...he collapses to his knees and looks like he's breathing very hard as he is so upset and distressed at this loss. It is definitely one of the most heartbreaking scenes for me because this is a CLEAR CUT MELTDOWN in my eyes and it hits me in the feels like a TRUCK to watch that cutscene.
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Also, in the Terapagos fight, Kieran has a bit of a shutdown for a bit, standing there frozen, thinking he's useless and can't do anything right (which is relatable as I have regular shutdowns as well, and I also constantly feel like I'm a failure of a human being who can't do anything right)...but let me tell you, when the player finally gets him to snap out of it and convinces him to help and he opens his eyes revealing that the light is back in his eyes as well as visible tears...I cheered (and teared up myself). My boy was back, and I was so happy.
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(When I first saw the tears I was like, "NOOOO don't cry Kieran! 😢)
Also in the Indigo Disk, Kieran seems completely different and "no longer like his usual self". His autistic traits are (mostly) nowhere to be seen as he becomes much more serious, angry, assertive,and aggressive. I personally see this as a persona he puts on by masking, which is common for autistic people to do. I myself can't mask, but Kieran definitely seems to be masking here by putting on this persona in order to get stronger and seem stronger as a person as well. This is NOT his real self, this is a FACADE!
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We see him start to drop the mask again in Area Zero when he says it seems like they're in a spy movie or something and how cool that is, but once the crack in his mask is pointed out he immediately puts it back on.
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After everything in the under depths ends, and you go back to Blueberry Academy, he drops the mask again completely, and goes back to his real, adorkable, relatable self...and stays that way from then on, which made me so relieved and happy.
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(This is my favorite cutscene in the entire DLC because of how adorable it is and also how neurodivergent Kieran is being here while apologizing for all he did 🥺)
In conclusion, I think Kieran is a great example of an autistic-coded character who has many relatable traits, and also does a good job showcasing some of the more "unpleasant and challenging behaviors and traits" (NTs use that terminology a lot, not me... that's how NTs unfortunately view NDs a lot of the time) of autism. I used to be afraid of him during the post-Teal Mask pre-Indigo Disk era but that was my trauma and PTSD talking (I talked about the emotional rollercoaster Kieran's story arc took me on in another post from last year after I finally worked up the courage to play the Indigo Disk...feel free to check that out too if you'd like). Now though I can wholeheartedly say that I love and appreciate Kieran a lot as a character, and his relatability is definitely a big part of why he is a big comfort character for me now (please Pokémon put him in Pokémon Masters EX, PLEASE I will literally cry from joy if he gets added to the game)!
Hope you all enjoyed this autistic person's analysis of yet ANOTHER autistic-coded character in Pokémon! I know I had A LOT to say but that just proves how relatable Kieran is, and I love him for that. Let me know what you think and if I missed anything in the comments below!
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lvis44 · 11 months
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Sweet Escape Pt. 8 // LH44
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Lewis Hamilton x Y/N
Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (Smut and Dirty Talk), Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Dilemmas, PDA, Secrecy, Not Edited
Word Count: 8.5k+
Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.
Notes: We have reached our final destination (well kind of, there will still be an epilogue). This is the final part of Sweet Escape. Thank you all so much for all the love, I'm so glad that you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I will be back soon with another little daydream. I love you all and enjoy the conclusion to our roller coaster.
I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx
Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven
You can’t risk losing Lewis. 
As you step out of the shower you feel a surge of anxiety and power wash over you. How the hell are you supposed to talk to him? It doesn’t take long before you hear him coming down the hall, greeting Daniel on the way, evidently just back from his run. You decide to bite the bullet, there’s no point in wasting time. You hear his door close and immediately make your way out of your own. Your hair is still wet and your attire is mismatched, throwing short on the second you heard him in the hallway. You don’t particularly care if anyone hears you or sees you, you need to get this out before you continue to think about it and change your mind. You’ve gone back and forth over this enough times, you need to finally make your thoughts known. You knock on his door, hoping he can hear you. Thankfully it only takes a moment before his door swings open, he’s standing there covered in sweat, his breathing still slightly labored, just having got back from his run. 
“Y/N?” He seems slightly confused at your sudden intrusion, “Is everything okay?”
You don’t answer his question just pushing past his sticky body and into his bedroom, it’s been a while since you were last in here, today will be a much different outcome. You’re going to stand your ground. He doesn’t ask another question just accepting that you must need to talk, moving to push his door shut.
“Why did you take me to see Marina and Leon?” You blurt out the second his door is closed.
He hesitates for a moment, a question written across his face, “I don’t know, I thought it would be good for Leon to meet someone like you, and Marina had about a billion questions about you so, I don’t know, it just felt right.”
“Why have you told Marina about me?” You ask your next question, not really waiting to process what he’s saying.
“Because I care about you, I’m constantly thinking about you, and I like to tell her about important things in my life. You’re an important thing in my life.” He shrugs as if it shouldn’t even be a question.
“What about us has ever made you think that a relationship between the two of us would even ever work?” You ask him, feeling your heart clench at his words but needing to get all your questions out as quickly as possible.
“I kind of thought I made that clear,” He starts softly, unsure if you’ll really let him get all of his thoughts out, “but, I guess to try to explain it, it’s everything that you do, everything I feel when I’m around you. Charlotte yelled at me a few days ago, and rightfully so, about constantly acting like your boyfriend with none of the commitment or intimacy, that it’s not fair to either of us, not fair to you. Y/N, I am truly happy every second I spend with you, you’re an absolute breath of fresh air, a respite, the idea of coming home to someone like that warms my soul. I have spent so much time wandering around, looking for a place to land and looking in all of the wrong places, evidently. I don’t want to do that anymore, not when everything I’ve always wanted and needed is right in front of me. I’ve been single for a long time, but I know what this feels like, I’ve just never felt it like this before. We’re already halfway there, I don’t see why taking the next step would be bad for either of us.”
He’s just standing in the middle of his room, keeping a good distance from you, trying his best to bore his speech into your brain. It annoys you how good he can look even after a run. When most people would look like a drowned rat with the amount of sweat covering his body, he looks like he’s shining, the sweat somehow making every muscular dip and tattoo even more center stage than usual. You stare at him for a moment, letting his rant twist your heart in ways you didn’t know it could, swallowing down tears as you hear just how much the man in front of you truly cares. You hate that everything he has said is right.
“Thank you again for trusting me with meeting Leon, and Marina, I’m honored you let me into that part of your life.” You say, your voice thick with emotion.
You can see his face contort, confused at both your lack of proper response and your subject change, he imagines it’s because you’re trying to swerve away from the topic, but he just nods softly, “Of course, I trust with you with my life, with my heart, with everything. There’s no one I would rather he meet.”
“I don’t want to lose you Lewis.” You say firmly, “I can’t lose you, that’s why us trying this doesn’t make sense.” Your words are rushed and your brain is speeding a mile a minute, needing to get everything out into the air.
You can visibly see him deflate, his face faltering, an audible sigh coming from him.
“Y/N, sweetheart, I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this but you will never lose me, not in a million years. Sure things may change, but that’s the trajectory of life, regardless of what you and I do, things are destined to change, it’s evolution. Try thinking of it in the sense that you already have me, forever, for better or worse, but now I want to give you more of me, just you. We have each other now, but it could be so much more, and somehow I think even better. Tell me you don’t think about how nice it would be to fall asleep next to each other at night. When I hug you I can feel you melt into me, I fucking relish in it, that’s why I never pull away, that could be our normal, how we fall asleep, how we cuddle and watch some stupid fucking show. Think about how good we could make each other feel, emotionally, physically, fuck, on levels we don’t even know exist yet. I want this with you, I adore you and everything about you, there’s absolutely nothing in my mind that questions you and I being a good couple. We’ve already got the platonic relationship down, we know each other so fucking well, better than most people who have been married for twenty god damn years, we have a head start. Everyone always says that your partner should end up being your best friend, we already did that, so here I am, you best friend, telling you I want to be your partner, and fuck I hope you hear me.”
He lets out a deep sigh as he finishes his rant, you can tell he’s had that bottled within him for a while. You let him speak, not needing to hear it but wanting to, your mind is already made up, it doesn’t really matter what he says at this point. You’re quite amazed by the outpouring of emotions you’re receiving from him, not used to him letting himself truly be vulnerable. He looks tired and you can tell that if he were a normal man he would be close to giving up, but he’s not a normal man and ‘giving up’ is nowhere in his vocabulary. Lewis is competitive and strives to win, he doesn’t back down, especially when it’s truly important to him. That alone is part of the reason that you feel confident in your decision.
“So, if we’re going to do this, some things need to be made very clear.” You continue after his rant, not having the ability to even begin to process everything he just said. You need to charge ahead, his words only fueling your confidence in your decision.
You can tell he doesn’t quite believe the words that have just left your mouth but he does his best to restrain from making you repeat them. He stays silent, nodding obediently, but you can see the corner of his lips twitching, begging to break into the largest smile known to man.
“First, it’s only you and I in this relationship, your playboy fuckboy antics, they need to be thrown out the window immediately.” You begin the list that had played over and over in your head over the last few hours, “Second, there always needs to be communication, on both of our parts, no fucking games, no fucking secrets, honesty and communication.”
He’s nodding along eagerly, you almost worry that he’s not listening but you can’t stop yourself to reprimand him.
“Third,” You continue, “we take this slow. I am not and will never be one of your play things. You will respect me and my limits and we’re not rushing into anything, you need to prove yourself, I’m still a little bit upset with you. Fourth, jesus christ, for the love of god, please get tested, I don’t need every bitch from every corner of the universe inside of me. Got it?”
He giggles at your last demand but nods nonetheless.
“Done, done, done, and already done.” He agrees, no hesitation.
“Lewis, I need this to work, because I’m not sure I would be able to function without you at this point.” You sigh, letting your final thought out.
He nods once again, “Agreed,” He lets out a content sigh, “So is that you saying you’ll do this with me? You’ll be mine, all mine?” His voice is hesitant but eager as he asks the question, slowly making his way toward you.
“Only if you’ll be mine and only mine.” You say, your voice quieting down as he approaches you.
“In a heartbeat babe.” His voice is only above a whisper but his eyes are boring down into yours, making you anxious and giddy all at once.
“Okay, last demand, properly ask me out.” Your lips lose your internal battle as they spread across your face into a wide smirk, needing to make him work for it one last time. It’s cruel, really, with how much he has already put into winning you over, but you need him to do it. One last little bit of confidence that this is all real.
“Y/N Y/L/N, will you please be my girlfriend? All mine, forever?” His smile has now broken over his face, unable to contain it as he stands only a few inches from you. He laughs gently through his words, amused by your request but willing to do whatever you need to finally be his. He’s smiling in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, it's a whole new level of boyish excitement that makes your heart swell.
“Lewis Hamilton, I would be absolutely honored.” Within seconds of the words leaving your lips he has wrapped you in a large bear hug, picking you up off the ground, making you squeal.
“Lewis,” You whine through laughter, “you’re so fucking sweaty, I just showered.”
“This is what you just signed up for baby girl.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss against your head. You're rather confident that your name has already been long forgotten, pet names now taking its place.
“Okay, I take it back, I regret my decision.” You laugh playfully, his beard tickling you as he continues his assault of kisses that have now made their way to your cheek.
“Nope, no take backs.” He giggles against your cheek, placing you back down on the floor.
When he finally releases his grip from you his hands quickly find your cheeks, cupping your smiling face in his large hands.
“So beautiful, and all mine.” He mutters as if to himself.
“All yours.” You whisper back, making his smile even bigger if possible.
“I know you said we have to take this slow,” He starts, making you raise an eyebrow at him, “but can I please kiss you?”
You don’t have it anywhere in you to say no, all you can do is bite your lip with a nod, eagerly awaiting his lips on yours. He stares at you for a moment, as if processing the permission you just granted him. You expected the kiss to be harsh, almost messy from his excitement, but it was far from it. He leans in to you slowly, almost cautiously before connecting his lips with yours. You both sigh the moment you’re finally in contact. His lips are so soft and his large hands cupped around your cheek make you feel small, all you can do is melt into him. You bring your arms up around his sticky neck, still sweatier than you would normally find yourself being okay with. He keeps the kiss gentle but moves one arm to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him as if there’s no possibility you could ever be close enough. He doesn’t move to deepen the kiss, his tongue never appears, he barely even moves, just enjoying the fact that you’re finally connected, even in the most simple of ways. When he finally pulls away you find yourself wanting to chase his lips, not having had quite enough just yet. He notices the involuntary reaction, chuckling slightly as he rests his forehead on yours. You place your hands on his chest, enjoying the firmness under your palms, realizing that it’s all yours to enjoy now. You almost go to take back your statement about taking it slow but the last logical brain cell you have stops you.
“We have to figure out how to make this work Lewis.” You whisper, not wanting to disrupt the peace in between you two.
“We will, I would never forgive myself if I let you go.” He says, his voice just as quiet.
“Do we tell everyone?” You ask, not sure what to do next, especially when trapped in a house together.
“We can wait, or do whatever feels natural. As long as we know.” He eases your mind, letting you know there’s no pressure.
You nod, grateful you don’t feel the need to go announce it to the whole house.
“Now go take a shower so I can have a much less disgusting hug.” You laugh, pushing against his chest.
“You liked it.” He joins your laughter, slowly parting from you.
“Shower.” You repeat, pointing toward the door of the bathroom.
“You can always join.” He playfully winks.
“Slow, Lewis, we’re taking it slow.” You reprimand him, feeling yourself blush but still laughing.
“I’ll be quick, be ready with open arms.” He flashes you a smile, disappearing into the bathroom.
You’re in the kitchen, starting to prepare dinner when Lewis finally comes out of his room, freshly showered and looking so damn cuddly in a large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. It will forever bother you that even in his pajamas he manages to look better than the entire population. Everyone else is out on the patio, setting the table and making drinks.
“I thought I was getting a hug when I got out of the shower, maybe another kiss.” Lewis whispers to you, startling you when his voice comes from so close behind you.
He chuckles when he notices you jump, stepping away from you only slightly to take a spot next to you at the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting up some veggies. You can’t help but watch as his hand grips the stupid cucumber, something that should not affect you, yet it does.
You’re looking at the way the veins in his hands flex as he adjusts his grip as you mutter to him with a smirk, “Behave.”
“I don’t know, I feel like I was promised a reward that I didn’t get.” He says quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He’s standing close enough to you that you can feel the movement.
“I think you got plenty of a reward for one day. I mean hey, you got me.” You taunt him, your voice staying just as low.
“Oh, how right you are.” He sighs, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your temple before moving past you to the fridge.
“Look who finally showed up to help.” Charlotte’s voice comes through the kitchen as she walks in the back doors.
“Did you want my sweaty ass making your dinner?” Lewis shoots back at her.
Her face scrunches up at the thought.
“Didn’t think so.” He says, his attention already turned back to the fridge in hunt of something.
You can’t help but giggle, feeling as though you are truly on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ecstasy that would be coursing through your body after making that man yours, or really you should say allowing yourself to be his, he truly did all the heavy lifting.
“What’s so funny? You know how nasty he is after a run.” Charlotte shoots you a look, almost asking you to back her up.
You just laugh, thinking about the fact that you were wrapped around his sweaty body only twenty minutes ago.
“Whatever, I’m gonna go see if I can find a board game or something for later.” Charlotte announces, heading off toward the other side of a house where you know there is a still unused game room. You’d seen it for only a few minutes, Miles and Lewis having spent a few hours playing on the various arcade games, their inner child truly coming out.
Lewis was now walking back over to you, his hands full of various ingredients he had gathered. You went to attempt to take some of them but he just tutted, swatting your hand away.
“I got this, you just sit over there and look pretty, keep me entertained.” He nodded his head over toward the kitchen island, a smirk on his face.
“I hope you know, my way of keeping you entertained will most likely be me making fun of your culinary skills.” You tell him, not arguing with him doing all the work, as you happily perch yourself on one of the stools. You can’t help but enjoy the view. He takes his cutting board off the counter and moves it to the island, making sure he’s facing you so he can glance at you every once in a while.
“Whatever makes you happy, love.” He chuckles, not looking up at you as he gets to chopping.
Your stomach flips at the pet name, he’s called you love before but to your knowledge it always just been in a polite british way. Now it feels different, you want to  assume it’s because he’s all the sudden your boyfriend, but in reality you know it’s because of just how much you care for the man standing in front of you. You sit in silence for a few moments, just admiring how beautiful he is, truly looking like a god while he does the most mundane tasks. You know you’re done for.
“You’re pretty quiet over there, where the critique?” Lewis teases you, noting your silence.
“Well, first of all I’m just admiring my view,” You admit, “Second of all, you unfortunately seem to be a half decent cook.”
“Babe, I don’t know if my ego can take all this flattery.” He laughs.
“Don’t get used to it, I’m simply in a strangely good mood.” You shrug, laughing yourself.
“I would hope you’d be in a good mood, big shit happened today.” He looks at you with a soft playful smile. You can tell he’s being sincere under his teasing tone.
Before you can respond your friends are making their way into the kitchen, offering to help with dinner before being shooed away by Lewis who is seemingly on his own mission. You can’t help but laugh, noting that he gives Charlotte a run for her money when it comes to being in control of the kitchen. You can’t help but be a tad bit annoyed at the intrusion, not that anyone even knows they were interrupting anything, and in reality, they weren’t. You were just enjoying your one on one time being playful with Lewis in your newfound status after having been at odds with him for so long. Much to your dismay, Lewis paid much less attention to you while your friends were around. You understood it, he was keeping things normal between the two of you, at least outwardly, he was respecting your anxiety of everyone finding out that something had changed between you.
The evening carried on happily and calmly. You discovered that when left on his own in the kitchen, Lewis was actually quite a good cook, you would have to make him cook for you another time, just you. Charlotte had found Monopoly somewhere in the house, which you promptly lost at, Lewis then insisting that you team up. No one batted an eye at it other than Charlotte, she had shot you a questioning look, wordlessly asking if the two of you were okay. You had only nodded, a soft smile on your face. She had seemed content enough with that, letting you be for the rest of the evening. By the time that you were headed to bed you were full of a joy you hadn’t felt in years, maybe ever. Lewis had very discreetly managed to give you a kiss on the cheek and a small hug before you headed to bed, whispering something about caching in on your promise from earlier. As you fell asleep you couldn’t help but feel like all of your stars had finally aligned in the most perfect way, even if you had no idea what was in store for your future.
Your final days of vacation were here, a few days prior you would have wished they would come and go as quick as possible but now, waking up in this new chapter of your life, you wished you could bottle the next few days and never let them go. The morning was lazy, lying in the sun after breakfast before deciding to head down to the beach to do the exact same thing, only with even more gorgeous views. From where you were seated, you already had the best view you could possibly ask for. Lewis was off in the side yard, fully immersed in a full body workout. You were admiring him from a distance, pretending to read your book, but your eyes kept wandering over to his glistening back and bulging biceps as he did effortless push-ups, it would have been criminal not to watch. You knew that he knew you were watching him, he had readjusted specifically to give you a better view, the cocky bastard. When everyone had gone inside to get ready, you stayed back, wanting even just a second alone with him. The second everyone was indoors you made your way over to him, sitting criss crossed on the ground in front of where he was doing sit ups now. One rep he sat up and gave you a wide smile before disappearing again, making you giggle, next rep his eyes flicked over to the door, third rep he came up and grabbed your cheeks, relaxing his form as he pulled your face to his, hesitating for only a moment before firmly planting his lips on yours. Once again he kept it pg but it still felt like heaven on earth. You giggled as you pulled away, feeling like a teenager who had just had her first kiss, you couldn’t help but feel that this is how it would always be with Lewis.
“So what did I hear? Are we headed down to the beach?” He asked, keeping his face rather close to yours, closer than it should be for a friend.
“Yeah, I was just coming over to tell you.” You say, blatantly lying as to why you had approached him.
“Mmmhmmm…” He smirked, catching your lie in an instant.
“Okay, maybe not.” You admitted, leaning in to peck his lips once more. He didn’t let that happen though as he made sure you stayed in place much longer than you had intended, not that you minded in the least bit. 
“I should go shower then.” He mumbled as he finally pulled away, moving to stand
“There’s no point, just go jump in the ocean.” You said, making him stay seated in front of you.
“I’m beginning to think that you like me when I’m sweaty,” He smirked before leaning in to place a kiss to your jaw, “and I have to say, I can think of a few ways you could help me work up a sweat.”
You felt your cheeks heat up in an instant, trying to push away the mental images of him above you, his chest glistening. You knew he could tell just how he had affected you when you saw the look on his face when he pulled away.
“Well, I guess I’ll just go put on some trunks then.” He said with a wink as he finally got up to his feet, you not having any ability to stop him right now.
Looking up at him from your spot on the ground as he stood above you had a whole new slew of thoughts rushing through your head. You were a horny mess. The smirk on his face was all knowing and you wanted desperately to wipe it off his face, but there was no use, he was dead on.
You made sure to stay behind and wait for Lewis, who had ended up insisting on showering, as everyone else made their way down to the beach. You were at the kitchen island, scrolling through your phone, when he finally came out. You were wearing one of your bikinis, one you had worn already on the trip, back when he and Miles had tried to teach you to surf. His hands were on your waist before you even knew he was in the room. 
“Waiting for me, beautiful?” His head was nuzzled into your neck, not trying anything, just enjoying the closeness.
You lightly pushed him away, spinning on the stool to face him. On instinct you widened your legs, allowing him to step between them so he could be closer to you, bad idea. Your breath hitched when you realized what you had just done, feeling him just brush up against you. You could tell that he wasn’t trying to grind against you or anything, it was just a casualty of trying to get closer to you, but that didn’t make it affect you any less.
“Um, yeah, wanted to walk down with you.” You half mumble, your brain jumbled.
He smiled softly, “Everyone gone?”
All you could do was nod.
“Good.” He let out a heavy breath, pulling your cheeks to press your lips together.
He was slightly more explorative this time and you didn’t mind in the slightest. The kiss was nothing like the first time he had kissed you, messy and open mouthed, but he slightly toyed with your bottom lip, running his tongue along it gently. You ever so slightly opened your mouth, allowing him the small bit of access he so desperately wanted. Nothing but the tips of your tongues met, ever so slightly dancing across each other as you both tested the waters. When he finally pulled away he made sure to leave multiple pecks to your lips, leaving you happily satisfied yet still wanting more. You weren’t quite sure anything would ever be enough with Lewis.
He stepped away, trying to discreetly adjust himself, making you laugh. He sent you a look before righting himself as if nothing had happened. He extended his hand to you, pulling you off the barstool as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Walking hand in hand with him, slightly leaning your weight against him, felt like the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t help but admire him, almost tripping a few times on your way down the path, making him chuckle. With a towel slung over one shoulder, his swim trunks low on his hips, and a dark pair of sunglasses perched on his nose, he looked perfect, absolutely effortless.
You had parted ways once you got to your friends, still trying your very best to stay discreet. That lasted only about a half hour, the second Lewis had decided he wanted to get in the water he was dragging you along with him. Very much like the last time, he was throwing you into the water almost immediately. His smile was wide as he watched you curse him out. As if he had forgotten that your friends were back on the beach, he grabbed you and pulled you towards where he was floating in the water. You could touch the bottom but only on your tiptoes and you could tell that he had opted to tread water, always staying active. He wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping you afloat with him.
“Well hello there.” You laughed at his sudden move.
“Hello.” He chuckled, nuzzling into your neck.
“Lew, what are you doing?” You asked semi cautiously, enjoying him but knowing that if anyone decided to sit up from their towel they would immediately see you being evidently more than friends.
“Enjoying being in the Caribbean Sea with my girl. I’m finally really enjoying vacation.” His words were slightly muffled as his lips moved against your neck.
“Babe, everyone can see us right now.” You whispered, feeling like you were trying to keep a secret even from the fish in the ocean.
He let out a content humm at the use of your pet name, placing a kiss to your throat, “We said whatever feels natural right? This feels natural. Fuck them, let’s just enjoy this.”
He pulled away, his arm readjusting its grip around your waist. You could feel the strength in his muscles and it made your stomach clench, thinking about him holding you in so many other ways. You just stared at him for a moment, contemplating everything.
“Do you want me to stop?” He asked sincerely, noticing the torn look on your face.
You thought about it for only a moment longer, deciding being in his arms was much too good to waste in order to keep a secret, “Nope, you’re right, fuck ‘em.”
His smile was wide as you let yourself truly wrap your arms around his neck, leaning in to place a kiss against his smile. He could barely kiss you back, too happy to use his mouth for anything but the biggest grin you could imagine.
“I’m really happy.” You whispered to him, only a few centimeters from his lips.
“I am too baby, I am too.” He shook his head almost in disbelief.
You have no idea how long the two of you spent bobbing around in the water, but it was long enough that your friends had either gotten sick of the sun or sick of the PDA, possibly both.
“Hey,” Miles yelled, “we’re headed to the house, you guys coming or are you gonna keep fucking eachother in the ocean?”
You laughed, hiding your face in Lewis’ shoulder as he flipped Miles off. You were rather surprised at how casual Miles seemed about it, maybe he was expecting it, maybe he had known how Lewis felt longer than you had, regardless you were grateful that it didn’t seem like a big deal.
“Be up soon.” Lewis yelled back, Miles returning his one finger salute.
You stayed wrapped around each other only a little while longer as you enjoyed the serenity of being with your person in the most beautiful of places. No talking was needed as you basked in the sound of nature and peace surrounding you. Your heart felt whole, in a way it hadn’t in quite some time. You were shocked at how quickly you had fallen into a new cycle with Lewis, but you didn’t mind one bit.
. . . 
“I swear to god if I have to hear you two fuck, I might lose my shit.” Miles said, his face showing nothing but seriousness as you and Lewis both burst out laughing.
After you had made your way back to the house, Lewis had thrown caution to the wind, promptly pulling you down into his lap as you came out onto the patio after changing. You hadn’t fought him on it, equally as content as he was and fully aware everyone had already seen you in the water. The only problem was now they were close enough to tease you. The second Charlotte saw him do it she squealed.
“Ah please tell me my two favorite people have finally realized that they need to get married and have kids?” She had clapped, her voice shrill with excitement.
“Woah, slow down there Char’, she became my girlfriend yesterday, give us a damn minute.” Lewis had chuckled, seemingly somewhat prepared for Charlotte's antics.
“Hey now, two favorite people?” Miles had complained, giving Charlotte a playfully offended look.
“Okay sorry, two of my favorite people.” She corrected herself, rolling her eyes.
“I’m just worried I’m never gonna see you two again, gonna be far too obsessed with each other to ever see the light of day again. Also hold up, girlfriend?” Miles had carried on.
“You speaking from experience?” Steph teased him, “Is Lewis that good?”
“Oh fuck off,” He didn’t even look at her, opting to flip her off instead, “but seriously, girlfriend?” He looked at you.
You just nodded, shyly, “He wore me down, he can be quite persuasive.”
“I’m just shocked because the last time I saw you two really interact, I’m pretty sure you wanted to either cut his dick off or punch him in the face.” Miles laughs.
“Oh I did, but we talked… a lot.” You laugh, not wanting to really go into much detail.
Somehow Lewis manages to get the conversation away from your relationship status and you silently thank him, not in the mood for some big hoopla and discussion about your feelings. As everyone chatters on around you the evening quickly turns to night and people begin to bid their goodnights. With only a few people left on the patio, you do the same, whispering to Lewis before announcing it to the group. When you get to your room, you realize that you quite wish you had given him a kiss before you left, too shy to do it infront of everyone just yet. You sit on your bed in your pajamas, waiting to hear him head to his room. Finally you hear his voice in the hall, making you move to try to sneakily follow him to his room. You don’t hear anyone else in the hall so you make a run for it. You feel like a boarding school student breaking curfew with the way that you run on your tiptoes over to his doorway, knocking ever so softly.
“Yeah?” His voice is louder than you would have liked.
Instead of waiting for further permission, you gently ease his door open, slipping in quickly and softly shutting it behind you. He’s in the middle of taking off the sweatshirt he had put on earlier in the night, his t-shirt riding up as he does so, putting his abs wonderfully on display.
“Hello you.” He smirks when he finally sees you.
“Sorry.” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed that you just snuck into his room for a silly goodnight kiss after only dating the man for a day.
For some reason your brain is on a different level than your relationship technically is, you feel like you’ve been together for months, years even. It’s exactly what he was talking about, he’s been acting as your boyfriend for some time but now you finally have the intimacy you had secretly dreamed of.
“Don’t be sorry,” He smiles, approaching you to place his hands on your hips, “I too was thinking I needed to come steal a kiss before bed.” He puts your mind at ease, pressing his lips to yours softly.
You find yourself deepening the kiss, his soft manner not being enough for you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against his firm torso. He’s more than welcoming, wrapping his arms around you tightly, pulling you against him even harder than before. You take the lead this time, licking against his mouth. It takes him barely a second to respond, letting your tongue explore his mouth, his moving in sync against yours. When he groans into the kiss you can’t help but try to pull him even closer to you. He leans you against the door you had just snuck in through, his hands gravitating down towards your ass. You don’t stop him, nothing could possibly make you stop him in that moment. His large hands rest carefully atop your ass, not wanting to cross anymore of a boundary than he already is. You try to give him more permission, pressing your hips against his as you do your very best not to break from his lips that are growing hungrier by the second. The heat of his body and the lack of oxygen from the kiss are making you lightheaded, you need him, so much more than you could have ever imagined. You throw your demands out the window, fuck taking it slow, you needed to take him now.
He feels you press your hips against him, taking the hint and finally properly grabbing your ass, greedy handfuls in his large palms. He groans again and the sound goes straight to your core. You bring one of your legs up around his waist, hoping he gets the hint fully, and does he ever. Within moments he’s moving his hands to your thighs, beckoning for you to jump up so your legs are wrapped firmly around his waist. Finally he properly presses himself against you, his lips moving down to your jaw and trailing down your neck. It feels just as good as it did the first time you felt him do just this, but this time it’s even better, because you know you won’t be stopping him this time. He nibbles ever so slightly making you whimper. It’s the first proper sound he’s gotten out of you and he is immediately on a mission for more.
“Fuck, baby, do you want this? Are you sure?” He is so out of breath as he asks the question but his voice is serious, he’s not fucking it up again.
“Yes Lew, so much, I need you, please.” You rush out, your voice already an embarrassing whine. If you weren’t so needy in that moment, you might find it in you to care, but all you care about is getting him exactly how you want him.
The second he hears your words he’s latching his lips back onto your throat and carrying you over to his bed. The grace with which he puts you down surprises you, you half expected to be thrown like a ball. His hands move under your pajama shirt, immediately finding your breast completely bare. His thumb brushes over your sensitive nipple, making you gasp. His lips find yours once again, his hands roaming every inch of your body they can reach, yours doing the same to him. You fumble to try and take his shirt off, making him chuckle as he pulls away to do it for you, him swiftly ridding you of your shirt as well. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locked to your chest and the hungry stare makes you want to cover up. As if he can tell he leans down, placing his lips across every inch of bare skin he can before latching his lips around one of your nipples. You can’t help but arch into him, feeling his smile against your chest as you do so. You let your hands wander the smooth skin of his back, feeling how his muscles flex as he adjusts himself to kiss a trail down your torso. When he reaches your waistband his eyes flick up to yours, silently asking if he can carry on.
“Please.” You sigh out, needing some sort of relief from how ridiculously worked up you are in that moment.
That's all he needs to hear before he’s pulling down your sleep shorts and your undies in one swift motion. Once you're bare, his eyes lock onto your heat, in a much similar way to how they did your chest earlier.
“So fucking perfect.” He says under his breath, his thumb moving to ever so slightly brush against your hip, making you squirm.
Finally his thumb makes its way to the bundle of nerves that are throbbing with desperation. His touch is so light you can barely feel it but it makes your hips buck up towards him. He takes that as a good sign, applying more pressure as he finally starts to move in tantalizing circles, the rest of his hand resting on your pubis.
“So wet, so ready, my god,” He mumbles as if to himself before speaking up, his voice raspy with lust, “Can I taste you baby? Been dying to for so long.”
“Oh my god, please.” You feel like you could cry from just how turned on you are.
The first flick of his tongue is teasing, nothing even close to what you’re in the mood for, you buck your hips up towards him, hoping he takes the hint. He immediately dives in, no room for teasing and taunting left. His head between your thighs is something you never anticipated witnessing, but now its all you ever want to see. He wastes no time in latching his mouth onto your sensitive nerves, making you cry out. His tongue laps in the most perfect rhythm that your positive nothing will ever be as satisfying again. His tongue travels everywhere and anywhere, searching for your most sensitive spots. He makes his journey further down, the strong muscle of his tongue teasing at your entrance, you gasp as you feel him push just the tip in, his nose coming down to meet your clit. He quickly begins fucking you with his tongue as he gently moves his head, creating just enough friction with the tip of his nose to have you a whimpering mess. You feel yourself starting to tense up, never having come so quick with any of your partners. He can feel it too. He quickly replaces his tongue with two thick fingers, his mouth coming up to suck your clit directly into his mouth.
“There ya’ go, give it to me pretty girl, let me see how good you look when you come. You taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough.” You look down to see his eyes locked directly on yours. You can see his bicep flexing with the movements he’s making inside of you and that combination has you coming undone, harder than you ever have before. All you can do is moan his name, you have no idea how loud you’re being but you truly couldn’t care less, the way he’s making you feel is second to none. You can feel his smirk as he works you down from your orgasm slowly, making sure you feel every ounce of it.
Before he’s even able to make his way all the way up your body, you’re reaching for the button of his pants. You need to feel him, and you need to feel him now.
“All in good time sweetheart.” He giggles, placing a soft kiss to your lips.
You can feel the dampness in his beard, his lips slick. He steps away from you, making you whine.
“So needy, give me a second and I’ll give you everything you need.” He teases you as he walks over to his bag. He grabs a condom and you can’t help but be grateful he at least has half a mind right now, you were ready to take him raw if it meant you could have him.
He finally lets you undo his pants, pushing them down along with his briefs. What you’re met with has your eyes going wide. He’s much larger than you could have even imagined. The thick vein running up his shaft looks lickable and you almost do exactly that before he’s laying you back once more, rolling the condom on.
“I’ll go slow, I promise.” He whispers reassuringly, evidently having caught your initial reaction.
When you feel the blunt tip press against you, you begin to rethink everything, there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to take him. He begins to ease into you slowly and it's the most indescribable feeling. You feel like you’re being split in two and put back together all at once. He somehow feels like an intrusion and your missing piece.
“Lew” You whimper out, clinging to him for dear life.
“Almost there baby, almost there,” His voice is soothing in your ear but you can hear the tension as he feels you for the first time, “you’re doing so good, so proud of you.”
The second he bottoms out, it's as if time has stopped. The two of you both let out deep groans, reveling in the feeling of finally being fully connected. Slowly the burning stretch turns into indescribable satisfaction. It feels like he was meant to be inside of you, the missing piece to the puzzle of your body. He stays still, letting you adjust to him as he peppers you with kisses. You can feel the tension in his shoulders, desperate to move, chase the high you’re both so desperate for. You don’t know how you find it in you but you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and hoping he takes the hint that you need him to move just as much as he needs it. Slowly he pulls out of you, only half way, before burying himself in you again. He hits the perfect spot, making your toes clench with only one thrust. The groan he lets out is pornagraphic and you fight to make yourself look at him. The sight above you is what dreams are made of as he slowly starts to build a pace, testing the waters with what you like, evidently aiming to make sure you’re feeling just as good as he is. His lips are parted as if they’re ready to let out a moan at any given moment, his brow is furrowed in pleasure and concentration, his lust filled eyes boring down into yours.
“Fuck baby, you feel unreal.” He half groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck, tracing his lips over the sensitive skin.
“Fuck, Lew, more please.” You run your nails gently down his back, making him shiver.
“You want more?” His voice is taunting, challenging.
“Fuuuuck.” You draw out as his hips pick up their pace.
He brings one of his arms to rest on the headboard as he leverages himself to put more power behind his thrusts. All words have left your mind, your mouth open in a constant gasp, no sound capable of escaping you any longer. He takes one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder as he pushes himself down on to you, his body weight suffocating in the best way. Somehow he’s even deeper this way and it makes you whimper, the tension mounting in your belly. You can tell you're almost there. His grunts and groans have quickly become your new favorite soundtrack as they edge you closer and closer to your release. His hips have picked up their pace even more and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. When his hand slips down to toy with your clit you find yourself letting out a moan much louder than you should have. He brings his lips to yours, attempting to quiet you. This kiss is useless, just two open mouths, sharing each others sounds of pleasure.
“Fuck I love you.” He breathes out, you can tell he didn’t mean to say it but the second you hear it you need to hear it a million more times. Your stomach tightening at the phrase falling from his lips
“Say it again.” You just about whine.
He hesitates for a moment, his hips faltering before finding his pace again, “I love you.” This time with much more conviction.
“Again.” You moan, so close to your high.
“Fuck Y/N, I love you, I love you, so fucking much.” He rambles, connecting your lips when he feels you reach your peak.
You’re not prepared, it crashes over you like a tsunami, you tighten around him so hard he struggles to move, to fuck you through it. You’re beyond grateful that he’s as determined as he is because he keeps you at your peak longer than you even knew possible, your vision blurring and your ears ringing. You feel him tense, uncoordinated thrusts as he finally spills into the condom. His breathing is hard as he collapses against you like the best weighted blanket imaginable. He’s pressing soft kisses to your throat as you do your best to come back to earth. You can feel him slowly softening inside of you and it just feels right, the two of you being connected.
"So much for taking it slow, hmm?" His voice is tired but teasing.
"Oh fuck off." Is the first thing you say to him as you come back into yourself, making him chuckle
It takes him a few moments before he disconnects from you, much to your dismay, wincing as he pulls out.
“M’sorry, one second.” He says softly, pecking your lips before moving to discard the condom and get you a rag.
He cleans you with such care, so gentle, you feel your heart lurch. It’s rare that you’ve been with a guy who takes such care afterwards. When he’s finally done he joins you back in bed, moving you both under the covers.
“No arguments, you’re staying right here.” He mumbles before you can object and try to go back to your own room, which you assume will no longer be needed.
“Hey Lewis?” You prompt hesitantly as he pulls you against his chest, hiking your leg up over his hips.
“I meant it, have for so long it hurts.” He answers you without you even having to ask, knowing what you’re questioning.
You lift your head to meet his, looking at him through the pale moonlight flooding the room.
“I love you too.” You whisper before leaning it to meet his lips.
"Say it again." He mumbles against your lips, a smile spreading across both of your faces as he mimics your words from earlier.
"I love you so fucking much Lewis Hamilton." You giggle as he pulls you impossibly close to him, latching his lips on to yours.
You don’t know how long you stay there kissing him but you’re not sure you disconnected before you fell asleep. All you know is that as you lay there, enjoying his affection, you knew you had made the right decision. You will never lose Lewis and now you have the rest of your life to enjoy a whole new journey with him.
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hades-in-bloom · 4 months
Text
The Bigger Person
Spawn!Astarion Ancunin x Redeemed Dark Urge!Reader
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summary: after saving Baldur’s Gate, Astarion and his partner descend into the Underdark to take care of Cazador’s misdeeds. All seven thousands of them. Was it something the elf truly wanted to do with his freedom?
spoilers for Act 3/Pale Elf and Epilogue
warnings & contents: teethy fluff; established relationship; comfort, sass, and class; hints of existential crisis; the reader could be any gender; mentions of trauma; some hugs; assumed drow or half-drow background of the reader but could be any race
a/n: I am kinda terrified of writing for Astarion as I respect Larian’s work SO MUCH (so Larian, please forgive me, if I ever do this goofy dagger-happy love wrong). This blurb came out of nowhere as I was bored during my long ass flight. As always, proceed at your own risk. Minors DNI! Masterlist xoxo
soundtrack: miley cyrus — used to be young
***
You watched Astarion from afar as elf was basking in the azure light of a Sussur tree. His pale skin glowing, eyes half-lidded—one of, if not the most beautiful sight you’ve seen in your entire life. Radiance of a Sussur flower might have been the closest thing to the sunlight the vampire spawn had now, after the ever-protecting tadpole was gone.
It was barely a couple of weeks since the Netherbrain crushed into the Chionthar. The exhausting journey was finally over. Your thoughts for a moment went to Gale—how was he fairing now, taking into account his condition? And what any of you was supposed to do with your lives now, after saving the world?
You shook off your guessings by and by—only to notice that it was Astarion’s turn to stare at you. His smooth lips curved into a mischievous grin.
“My once murderous little love, what were you daydreaming of?” The man wondered as he stepped towards you, stretching out a hand for you to touch, inviting you to feel the soothing coldness of his forever-young skin. The elf tilted his head a bit, curiously; studying you.
“You seemed… far from here.” Although his tone was lighthearted, you could see concern in the wandering gaze of garnet eyes. After all these weeks traveling—and now living— together, you could read him quite well.
“It’s nothing,” you mumbled before coming to your senses; a gentle, slightly teasing smile appearing on your face. “I was stalking you, actually. You fit quite well with the Underdark, you know.”
Astarion didn’t seem to object your observations.
Obviously.
“Well,” he gestured abstractly, pretending not to care, although he cared quite a bit. “You don’t say, my sweet. Although I'd assume that my features should look aesthetically pleasing in most of the attention worthy places.”
You couldn’t keep a straight face as you laughed, enjoying his lazy attempts to hide a proud smile.
“Behave, Astarion. There are kids in the close vicinity, after all.”
The man changed in the face and let out a soft groan. “Seven thousand of them,” he muttered with slight annoyance in his voice.
Despite grimaces Astarion made regularly, you could see him enjoying it—taking care of the murderous horde of vampire spawns to whom the elf showed mercy in the palace. He was their mentor, their leader now—a counterpart to what Cazador was, the monster that created them all. Now so much better than him.
“I blame you,” Astarion continued in the meantime, playfully pointing a finger in your direction. “That’s all your nasty influence. Be the bigger person, dear!..” he passionately—and painfully accurately—mimicked your tone of voice while saying the last piece. You, though, weren’t offended in the slightest. You liked him even more when he dared to show the silly side of his complex, wounded personality.
You felt his hand crawling around your waist as he huffed next to your ear shortly after. “Why should I be a bigger person, darling, when I can be happy and petty?”
You snorted. “I don’t think you’re holding back on pettiness, love.”
His smile stretched across the skin of your neck in a silent, although eloquent enough reply. None of you said a thing for quite a while, staying motionless close to each other with heads buried deep into your own thoughts.
“Thank you.” You blurted out eventually.
Astarion shifted, looking into your face with his eyebrow raised. He was visibly confused.
“Thank you for choosing this. Choosing them.” you continued as you met his gaze with yours. “Instead of your… freedom.” You struggled to find a better word for that.
Astarion didn’t seem to be convinced; didn’t seem to follow at first. “I’m free,” he replied gravely. “The bastard is dead.”
You shook your head slightly. “You could’ve been anywhere. Doing anything,” you retorted with care. “But you’re here instead.”
His facial features softened as he understood why you were saying what you were saying. There was a pinch of truth in your words—he spent some time thinking about it, too, after you’ve both descended into the Underdark and began building this fort; the safe harbor for Cazador’s cursed—as although perpetually hungry vampire spawns now, these people deserved to have a place to call home, no matter how dangerous or uncivilised per human standards it was.
You heard Astarion letting out a reluctant sigh as he came to terms with his own decision once more.
“This was the right thing to do.” The elf concluded at once.
Mild aversion to his own heroism that manifested itself in his whole appearance in that particular moment made you giggle suddenly.
“My, my. Who thought you'd be up for doing The Right Thing the first time we met.”
The elf gave you a friendly, tad fiendish stare as he rolled his eyes, and you scoffed as he spoke. “Not that you were a paragon of virtuousness back then either, being your daddy’s scion.” You made an unamused face that made him smile.
Astarion reassured you then with playful seriousness, letting his lips and teeth slide affectionately to your neck. “Don’t keep your hopes up, darling. Now my quota of the rightful deeds is fulfilled for the upcoming century.”
You smirked as you locked him into a hug, not believing a single word of what that man just said as you felt him hugging you back.
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rorywritesjunk · 5 months
Text
No longer locked upon the land but free on the rolling waves
You and Buggy come face to face with himself from the past, and while you’re fully accepting that this is your husband as a child, Buggy doesn’t want to accept it.
Rating: PG-13ish, but just due to some swearing.
Warning: Upset kid, upset husband. Reader is way too nice, doesn’t necessarily take husband’s feelings into account as well. This chapter had one of my favorite moments between the Reader and Kid Buggy which was mentioned in the request, and it was a part I wanted to make sure I got just right.
A/N: A combined request. I did a few versions of this story before feeling like it hit the marks I was wanting to hit. Also, I’m just trying to vibe off what I’ve seen of Kid Buggy. I’m no expert. I’d protect that kid with my life. He’s so adorable. I also like the trope of “Meeting your self from another time” and “gets turned back into kid-self”. This is the former, and I know shit about time travel but I just kind of made something up. Also, kelpies. Are they in One Piece? I honestly don’t know but I love kelpies and needed an excuse to mention them. Additional notes: Holy cow, thank you to everyone who's been reading this! I read every comment and tag and it warms my heart so much. I meant for this to be multi-chapter from the start, but I want to give a heads up that this is a short fic, probably no more than 5 chapters but I'm almost thinking of writing more on Buggy and his wife because I've liked what I started with them and have already been thinking of their story. Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker.
Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6/Epilogue TAGLIST (just let me know if you want to be added!): @lostfirefly @misadventures0fdes @sylum @valen-yamyam16 @dohkyu @fluffybunnyu @skyofsteel @lavalampskyy
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Chapter 3
Everything was going great after breakfast for a little bit. The kid was fine to follow you around to help you with your own chores, which right now was collecting anything that needed mending or washing. You had Buggy carry the basket of mending while you made your way across the deck and to the kitchen. The crew was out on deck, and while word got around of some kind of shape shifter on board (your husband was still not happy about your guest), this was the first time most of them were seeing their captain as a child. The kid ignored the staring as long as he could, but you could see it was getting to him.
The final straw was when you watched a crewman lean over to another, hearing him whisper, “He even has the big nose.”
You both heard it because no sooner did he finish his sentence that Buggy dropped the basket he was carrying and rushed over to the crewman, delivering a kick to his crotch. The crewman fell to the ground in pain and you managed to grab Buggy before he could kick him in the face, though a part of you wanted to allow it to happen.
“Don’t talk about my nose!” He shrieked, fighting against you as you hauled him away to the kitchen. You passed the captain on the way, giving him a look as you pulled the kid along. Your husband stood there, confused for a moment before turning to see the crewman on the ground. What just happened?
You sat Buggy down on a chair and knelt in front of him. It was a little surprising to see him crying. You expected more anger, shouting, maybe some punches being thrown. You shouldn’t have been surprised, though. He was a kid with kid emotions. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he clenched his fists. He rubbed his eyes, sniffling loudly.
“I th-thought I was the captain.” He choked out; you reached for one of the napkins left on the table from breakfast and put your hand on his cheek as you gently wiped the tears away. “Why would th-they talk about my nose?”
Your heart broke from that question. As an adult, your husband was still sensitive about his nose, had been since you first met him, but you couldn’t imagine going through childhood with those insecurities. And the fact you explained earlier that he became the captain of this ship just to have someone on the crew mention it so cruelly? It was horrible. 
“Because some of them are idiots.” You told him as you draped the napkin over your shoulder. “And I’ll throw them overboard once I make sure you’re okay. Now, do you want a hug?”
To your surprise he nodded, so you opened your arms and he fell into them, letting his head rest on your shoulder. You sat back on the floor, stretching your legs out in front of you as you held him on your lap, rubbing his back slowly as he still sniffled. 
“So… did I miss something?”
You looked back toward the door and sighed when you saw your husband standing there. Kid Buggy ignored him, sniffling as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. You tightened your hold on the kid as you turned your attention back to him.
“One of your crewmen should be thrown overboard, Captain.” You told him, voice calm as you reached up to remove Kid Buggy’s hat so you could stroke his hair. He closed his eyes when you did that, relaxing in your embrace. You knew your husband liked having his hair stroked when he was upset, and you were pleased the kid was no different. “They need to learn when to keep their mouths shut.”
“Huhh…” Adult Buggy scratched the back of his head as he watched the scene in front of him. It was… weird but nice to see you comforting the kid like that. He didn’t remember ever really having that growing up. You were holding the kid so lovingly, not caring that your shirt was getting covered in tears and snot from him being so upset. 
“I’m sorry that idiot talked about your nose, sweetie.” You murmured to the kid in your arms, hugging him tighter. “It wasn’t right of him to do that.” 
Buggy stood there for another few minutes, watching you with him. You even gave the kid a forehead kiss, which the kid seemed fine with. He looked like he felt safe in your arms, and Buggy would know, having been there himself many times when he needed to feel safe and loved. It was just frustrating that he had to wait until meeting you to feel that way, having not ever really had that as a kid on a ship. Yet here you were, by chance now holding his kid self in your arms and comforting him when he was upset. Others would have just laughed about it, telling him to get over it, but you were apologetic to him and it wasn’t your fault it happened.
“Which one?” Adult Buggy asked; you looked up at him. “Which one said it?”
“The one that was on the ground, crying.” You replied as you rubbed Kid Buggy’s back gently. “Throw him overboard.”
Oh, he wouldn’t refuse a request like that from you. He stormed out of the kitchen, and as you tilted the kid’s face up, looking for more tears, you both heard a scream and a splash. You smiled and put your hand on his cheek, thumb stroking gently. You didn’t hear the captain return, but he remained quiet, watching from the doorway.
“No one else is going to say anything like that to you again on this ship, sweetie.” You assured him. “You’re safe with me, okay? I’ll hurt anyone who is mean to you, promise.”
“Okay…” Kid Buggy let his head drop back on your shoulder, sighing as he relaxed. You smiled and hugged him.
“Listen, I think your nose is cute.” You told him; he made a face and glanced up at you. “When I met my husband, it was the first thing I noticed about him and when I told him he was handsome he turned as red as his nose. I thought it was sweet, and to this day I still think it’s endearing.” You giggled at the face the kid was giving you. “What? I swear. I sometimes compliment him just to see how red he’ll get. It’s one of my favorite things to do.”
“You’re so evil.” Your husband grumbled, startling the two of you.  Grinning, you turned to look at him, only to laugh when you saw him glaring at you so you just blew a kiss at him. “Are you saying you only love me for my nose?”
“One of the reasons.” You chuckled. “I also love how passionate you are, and how much you love me. Though your impulsiveness still catches me off guard sometimes, I can appreciate it.”
“I’m not impulsive!”
“You threw Buggy off the ship into the water just yesterday.” You reminded him. To your delight, your husband began to turn red in the face. “But you also stole me flowers a week ago because you saw me wearing a pink dress and you liked how they matched.”
“I’m about to throw you overboard.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he looked away, his face burning. You knew there was no threat to be had, he just said those things when he was feeling a little too much love from you. Buggy sighed heavily, shoulders dropping. Maybe he would regret offering this, but he was starting to feel a little better about this whole ordeal. “Kid, do you want a proper tour of the ship? I’m pretty sure you’re not a kelpie or anything else, so I think it’s safe for you to see everything.”
Kid Buggy made a face. He had already been around the ship with you, but you nudged him gently. This was at least a start. You wanted the kid to see what he grew up to become. “It’s okay, I think it’ll be fun for the two of you.”
“Can you come with me?” He asked you, clearly not wanting to be too far from you. It was sometimes difficult to think of a child as young as him being on a ship. You just wanted to hold him in your arms forever and protect him from anything that would hurt him, but that wasn’t realistic. Swallowing heavily, you nodded and he stood up from your lap, crossing his arms as he looked at the captain. “Promise you won’t throw me overboard?”
“Don’t give me a reason to.” Adult Buggy shot back, but you gave him that look and he immediately backtracked. “But I’ll fish you out if I accidentally knock you into the water.”
The kid seemed okay with that answer. You got to your feet and smoothed out Kid Buggy’s hair, it was a little smooshed from being against your shoulder. You handed him his hat back next, but when he didn’t take it you put it on his head for him. He made a face when you did that, and all you could do was giggle. You had seen that glare so much recently that you could only find it silly at this point.
The Captain rolled his eyes and started out of the kitchen while Kid Buggy took your hand and followed after him. You let him lead you, and once you caught up to your husband you linked arms with him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He looked away when you did that, mumbling something about needing to uphold an image around the crew. You weren’t really sure what that image was but you didn’t say anything. Once you got to the helm of the ship, the captain pulled away from you and in a dramatic and flashy fashion, spun around and threw his arms open, gesturing wildly to the kid.
“THIS! Is my ship!” He announced to Kid Buggy. “We are the Buggy Pirates, the fiercest and most dangerous crew on the East Blue! No one survives a meeting with us!”
You watched the entire interaction in amusement. The kid was getting into it, mouth running a million miles a minute as he asked Buggy question after question about everything. How long has he been a captain? What was it like being so feared? Was he going to become the next King of the Pirates, for real? 
It was cute and you trailed after them as Buggy led him down below to where some ammo was stored. The Buggy Balls concerned you a little bit, you didn’t want them to fire one off into the town on purpose or accident, and thankfully your husband did not offer a demonstration (though you thought you heard him say something along the lines of “we’ll fire one after the wife’s asleep”) of their destructive power. 
And your husband was eating up the attention from the kid. Adult Buggy was proud to talk about his accomplishments, flashy battles, everything and Kid Buggy was listening with fascination, occasionally looking at you for confirmation that he was being told the truth, and you’d just nod in agreement with whatever your husband was saying.
Once the three of you returned to the deck, Kid Buggy’s attention went to the Jolly Roger on the ship, looking at it in awe. It had a nose like his and people were scared when they saw that flag. That was so cool. With the brief distraction, you gave your husband a kiss on the cheek. 
“I love you, Buggy.” You said, smiling at him as he put his arm around you and tugged you closer. You were happy that the two seemed to be on even footing now. The kid was sassy, of course, but at least your husband didn’t even attempt to throw him overboard during their entire interaction this time. And it was nice to see your husband excited to show off his legacy to someone, even if it was to his child self. It looked like things were getting a bit easier between the two of them.
Looked like. Because no sooner did you think that, Kid Buggy came back to you two with a frown on his face. You immediately thought something was wrong, wondering if someone insulted him again, but he crossed his arms and looked up at Adult Buggy. 
“Where’s Shanks?” Kid Buggy asked. “As a grownup. Why isn’t he on this ship too?”
Oh shit. You looked at your husband. He stormed away last time he was asked that question, but this time he stood his ground, probably because you were right there beside him. His hand was on your shoulder, you reached up to touch it gently. The look on Adult Buggy’s face was a mix of anger and sadness, and you wondered if you needed to butt in and change the subject, but he finally spoke.
“His life went in another direction.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “He’s not on this ship, he’s on his own.”
“What?” Kid Buggy frowned. “We’re not co-captains or anything?” He paused, looked at you then looked back at his adult self. “Are we still friends?”
The innocent question was a stab to your heart, but you couldn’t even imagine what it was like for Adult Buggy. His expression was unchanged, trying to think of a kid-friendly way to explain what happened, but was it right to tell him everything? Weren't there rules about this kind of thing, you don’t eat a butterfly in the past or something or it would change the future? Telling the kid his future was one thing, but about relationships? If he told Kid Buggy how his friendship fell apart, the betrayal, the hurt, could it end up that he changes this kid’s future, and in turn his own? What if he doesn’t become a captain, get his own ship? What if he didn’t meet you?
Adult Buggy took a deep breath before slowly exhaling. He didn’t know how to answer, but he had to say something. Both you and the kid were looking at him, waiting for him to say something.
“He has his own ship.” Buggy repeated. “That’s all.”
Then he pulled away from you and walked away from the two of you, leaving you worried and Kid Buggy confused by the answer.
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sbdskate · 1 year
Text
Laws of Attraction (Part 3) - DR x lawyer!fem!reader
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Summary: McLaren is in breach of contract, dr3 hires a lawyer to deal with the aftermath. Tropes ensue. Slow burn. Enemies(kind of) -> Friends/colleagues -> Lovers
Pairing: lawyer!fem!reader x Daniel Ricciardo
Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, sexual themes, NSFW for a hot sec
Word Count: 2,604
A/N: It’s been a while! I’m sorry I’ve been MIA, work/life took over. Thank you everyone who read Parts 1 and 2, and thank you for your patience. I realize there is likely going to be a part 4, and given the ~significant~ break I apologize for the cliff hanger. Friendly reminder that this is still new to me, so I appreciate any and all feedback both positive and constructive. Enjoy!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue 1
You were thankful for the two-week break, again hoping the distance would subdue your growing crush. Much to your dismay, you had inceptioned yourself. The seed of physical attraction developed into more despite every attempt to nip it in the bud. To make matters worse, he texted you twice a day every day while you were away: one work related and one miscellaneous – a cute dog he saw cross the street, a yummy meal he had, a song he thought you might like, other general statements of opinion. Eventually the latter turned into plans for the U.S. grand prix. You didn’t quite understand his fascination with the whole cowboy americana aesthetic, perhaps because you grew up in the states so you were disillusioned to it. But it made him happy which you found endearing. He had asked for your input when he was undecided on which boots to get, and excitedly texted you pictures of an American flag bomber jacket and ostentatious belt buckles. You shot him with a few pleasant but short responses, whatever sparks joy or love that journey for you. Two days before press day though, you received a message that made you question your entire career path.  
DR: Can I bring a horse to press day? You blinked a few times at your phone.
Y/N: To clarify, you want me to research FiA rules to see if you can bring a horse to the paddock and I will get paid for that time?
DR: Yes [insert horse emoji]
You swore this would be your last celebrity client. You couldn’t believe you went to law school for this.
Y/N: Yes, you can bring a horse. It just needs a badge pass like any other guest which you would need to submit 24 hrs in advance.
DR: What if you don’t know the horse’s name?
Y/N: Press day is in two days and you don’t actually have a horse?
This was by far the strangest client interaction you had ever had. First you were in disbelief from the initial question, and now here you were less than an hour later incredulous that your client didn’t actually have a horse lined up for his arrival to the circuit in forty-eight hours. Oh how the turn tables.  
DR: Well I just thought of the idea, so no.
Y/N: It’s a horse, Daniel. I’m pretty sure you can just make up a name, it’s not like it’s going to perjure itself.
So when you got there for press day in your pink suit, prepared for meetings with other teams to discuss reserve seats, it took everything in your power to keep a straight face as Daniel strode in on Horsey McHorseface, with handler and country singer in tow. As a human being with a soul, it was objectively hilarious and you loved that he gave zero fucks, understanding that this very well may be his farewell tour. As his attorney though, you wished he had gone something for a little more subtle. He tipped his cowboy hat and winked as he passed you. You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, but your body was on fire. The whole stunt was absurdly corny, it shouldn’t have done anything for you and yet you were undeniably turned on.
You went about your respective days, yours’ filled with back-to-back team meetings. You should have been laser focused, but you struggled to maintain your composure as you fought off visions of Daniel’s mustache adorned face between your legs. You reconnected at the end of the day so the two of you could debrief to discuss your findings. You kept your eyes on your notes in the hopes that avoiding his gaze would keep fantasies of you riding him like a show pony at bay. Flashbacks of the gentle roll of his hips on the horse threatened your demeanor, but you pushed through. Thankful to have made it through the exchange with your dignity mostly intact, you made your way towards the door when you thought the meeting had ended. However, you realized Daniel wasn’t moving.
You waited in the doorway, turning to face him. “Are you coming?”
He paused. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”
You closed the door again, thinking he had more questions about Red Bull or Mercedes. “You can ask me anything. What’s up?”
He took a deep breath. “…Do you want to come to the race on Sunday?”
You chuckled, assuming he was simply nervous about the race. “You know I come to all your races, it’s good facetime with the other teams.” You gave him a reassuring smile. Could you sense nerves?
“I know! Which is great. But I meant… as a guest. I thought maybe you could leave the work at home for a day. Consider it a thank you for all your hard work.”
“Oh.” Your breath caught in your throat. Your mind went through every worst case scenario, trying to think of an out. You drew a blank.
“Oh what the heck. Twist my arm, I suppose I could swing it.” You did your best to suppress your eagerness, despite feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. He grinned, but not before your phone rang. “Ah shoot it’s Joe. I gotta go, but I’ll see you Sunday!”
You passed Lando on your way out who suggestively wriggled his eyebrows at you, seeing both you and Daniel with dumb smiles plastered on your faces. You jokingly flipped him off as you continued your conversation with your boss.
-
You decided to leave the suits at home since you technically weren’t in client meetings. The Texas heat was oppressive – you wanted to be comfortable but not scandalous. You didn’t think the denim short/cowboy boot combo would be appropriate, and it really wasn’t your thing anyways. Instead you settled on a flowy yellow midi sundress. You stared at your work tote longer than you should have. Rarely did you go anywhere without it, you were paid handsomely in part because you were available 24/7. Throwing caution to the wind, you grabbed a small crossbody bag instead.
You made your way over to Daniel when you arrived at the paddock. He looked concerned as his eyes traveled over the crowds.  
“Everything ok?”
“Oh, I was just looking for my lawyer, not sure if you’ve seen her. She’s about yay-tall, wearing a stuffy suit.”
You wrinkled your nose at his jab at your casual outfit, you lightly shoved him. “Very funny. I know it’s shocking but I do own and wear other clothes when I’m not working.”
“I wasn’t aware you didn’t work,” he jested.
“If we’re being technical about it…I can still get emails on my phone.”
In the midst of a comfortable chuckle, his hand found its way to the small of your back as he walked you to where you would be watching the race. You felt electricity course through you at the soft touch. You debated on whether to remove it, but decided it was an innocent enough gesture.
You both stopped when you got to Lando and his girlfriend. Realizing who you would be enjoying the day with, the optics of all of this began to dawn on you. It was too late to back out now.
“Well, this is where I leave you. You two behave yourselves.”
“No promises!” Luisinha called after the boys. You gave Daniel a small smile and wave as they walked away, your confidence shrinking. Luisinha, a literal model, was even more stunning in person. Internalized insecurities you thought you moved past long ago made themselves comfortable in your mind. You were proud of the person you had grown into, inside and out. You were all about women supporting women and you knew you shouldn’t compare yourself to her, nor did you have any reason to. All the same, you felt small and insignificant next to her. It also made you realize even if you were not his lawyer, there was no way in a million years you had a shot with The Daniel Riccardo, charming world renown Formula 1 driver who had his choice of any woman on the planet.  
It was a humbling realization, which ultimately boded well for you. In setting your delusions aside, you resolved to have a lovely day of racing with hopefully a new friend and nothing more. You felt a calm rush over you and relished in the freedom that came without the weight of expectations.
You turned to Luisinha with a warm grin. “Hi, I’m y/n.”
-
Unfortunately, the good company did not translate to a good race. You were happy for Lando who placed a strong 6th, but with all the hype leading up to it, Daniel had only finished 16th. You heart broke for him as you waited by while he gave his post race interviews, his signature smile notably absent. He excused himself after the last interview, and you silently followed him. When you caught up, you found him sitting on the floor in quiet corridor, his back against the wall and his head in his hands. Saying nothing, you sat down next to him. The two of you remained like that for a while, a quiet understanding silently exchanged.
Eventually you check the time. The beginning of the weekend had held the promise of potential, with big plans to hit the town to match. But in a death by a thousand cuts, today’s race delt a final blow to the driver’s confidence. You were sure at this point a party of any kind was the last thing Daniel wanted. You cautiously broke the silence.
“I’m sorry about the race. We don’t have to do anything you’re not up for.”
He briefly hesitated, but weakly smiled for the first time since that morning. “Are you joking? I’m not passing up a chance to go out in my favorite city. I can rally, promise.”
You gave him a knowing glance, understanding he was putting on a brave face. What for, you couldn’t tell.
“Well, you have six hours left of work-free y/n. I’m at your disposal.”
“What happens in six hours?”
“I turn into a pumpkin,” you quipped. You bumped shoulders and smiled. With that, he stood up first and offered his hand to pull you to your feet. Without letting go, he started walking.
“Excuse me, where are we going?”
He chimed back with a line you had heard before: “I know a place.”
-
You ended up in a dive bar with some of the other drivers and their significant others. It was the first time you had met a lot of the others aside from Lando. Perhaps it was because they weren’t your clients, but you found yourself somewhat starstruck. It’s not that you hadn’t seen them around the paddock, but it felt like the first time you were truly brushing elbows with them. You were sure Lewis couldn’t have such flawless skin up close, nor could Carlos’ hair be so voluptuous, yet there they were in the flesh right next to you. You needed a drink to loosen up, and the McLaren crew had had a rough day. Coming in hot, you ordered a round of pickle back shots.
Luisinha was equally fascinated and disgusted. “What is this again? And why are there two? And why is one… green?”
“First you do the shot of whiskey, and then you chase it with a shot of pickle juice. The pickle juice neutralizes the burn from the whiskey and it has electrolytes so it’s kind of healthy!” She hesitantly sniffed the pickle juice and grimaced. You laughed, “Don’t ask questions, just drink. You’ll love it!”
A few more shots and beers later, your inhibitions had dissipated and you were dancing sloppily with Luisinha, feeling the base from the live band through the soles of your shoes. Work, for the first time in months, was the furthest thing from your mind. As you twirled and jumped and sang off key to your heart’s content, you failed to notice the familiar presence of your client approaching.
“Is it ok if I join? I come bearing gifts,” Daniel asked as he shimmied his way into your circle, handing out another round of beers. You can’t help the ear-to-ear smile that makes its way to your face.
“Come dance with us!” you shout over the sound of the bar. Luisinha raises an eyebrow. You both got along swimmingly during the race, and in that time you had clearly conveyed to her that you were Daniel’s lawyer and nothing more. “I’d get on that if I were you,” she teased at the time. You had laughed it off and dismissed it immediately. But seeing the two of you now with your rosy cheeks and lazy smiles, she was fully invested in stirring the pot.
The night’s debauchery continued, Luisinha secretly observing your exchanges. So when Lando tried talking to Daniel about race things, she not-so-discreetly intercepted.
“Honey, why don’t we go grab some more drinks?” Lando, clearly confused, was not picking up what she was putting down.
“What? But I just got us another rou-“  
“Pleeeaaase, I’m so thirsty I need some water!” At this point she simply grabbed his wrist and dragged him away, but not before throwing a wink in your direction.
In your drunken stupor, you weren’t exactly picking up what she was putting down either. All you knew was that you were having a blast. So you decided to keep dancing with Daniel, ignorant to the fact that the crowd had begun to thin. It started with the two of you attempting and failing miserably at line dancing. Which led to you trying to teach him square dancing that you learned in the fifth grade. You lost track of how many times you stepped on each other’s feet and between fits of laughter, you didn’t realize how your hands were comfortably intertwined or the distance between your bodies decreasing.  
He spun you away and back in. As you twirled into him a final time, your chests crashed into each other and your hand landed on his shoulder while his found its way to your waist. It was only in that moment with your faces inches apart that you became suddenly aware of your proximity. Feeling his breath tickle your face, you felt like your heart was going to beat its way out of your chest. Your gaze lowers to his plump lips then back to his eyes, counting the freckles. Your laughter slowed, unsure of what was so funny a minute ago.
You broke eye contact to look at the hand resting on his shoulder. What happened next felt like an eternity, but likely only lasted a few seconds. In one moment, you were relishing the feeling of his strong muscles under your touch and the warmth emanating from him, taking note of the rise and fall of your chests in unison, your pulse extending to the furthest reaches of your fingertips. Then, in a quick turn for the worst, your eyes fell to your wrist. According to your watch, you should’ve turned into a pumpkin two hours ago. The haze of the day and the bar and the alcohol lifted, reality quickly setting back in. In a sobering moment, you met his eyes again desperately trying to telecommunicate what you couldn’t put into words. Was he aware of the delicate bubble you two had created for yourselves? Did he realize how fragile it was? Did he know it just burst?
You stepped away from him. “I’m sorry,” was all you could muster before you turned and left.   
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the-kr8tor · 7 months
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Parallel Cut
Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader
Word count: 4.3k
Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (Hobie is taller than r though) , TW violence, CW injury, CW food mention, suggestive content.
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CHAPTER 10 >>> EPILOGUE
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You walk through aunt Janet's shop, eyes adjusting to the lights. The smell of the store wafts through your senses, the old carpet smell, rows and rows of fabric displayed on the shelves smelling of chemicals and dye. There's a faint smell of leather lingering in the air, reminding you of Hobie. Trainers squeak briefly on the floor, waking you up from your zombie like trance.
When did you even get here?
Your mind has been noisy since yesterday, you've mostly been on autopilot, muscle memory guiding you to your destination. Rubbing your tired eyes, barely sleeping last night, you had the urge to knock on Hobie's door to help soothe your screaming head. You feel a throbbing pain behind your eyes, temple aching in a stabbing headache.
You make your way towards the register, finding it empty, you ring the call bell.
"I'll be there in a second" Janet's voice answers. You have no energy to reply back.
Bouncing on the balls of your feet, fingers fiddling with your ring, its red beady eyes glaring at you, you turn it around so that it faces your palm. Clutching your hand into a tight fist, you're sure it leaves a spider shaped indent on your soft skin.
You already know you're not gonna take the offer so why are you feeling this way? Is it because you're afraid of telling Hobie? If you did, what would be his reaction to it? Whatever it is, you won't accept the job. You only have one Hobie, there'll always be another job, right?
Exhaling, you scratch off a bit of your nail polish, it falls on the floor like snowflakes. Janet finally makes an appearance, cane thumping against carpet, face lighting up when she sees you.
"And here I thought you wouldn't pick up your order" she chuckles, eyes staying on your leather jacket. "Nice jacket, wonder whose that is?" Janet gives you a teasing look, eyebrow raising knowingly.
Giving her a shy smile, you bite your lip. "He made the move– well it was a team effort for the both of us" chuckling, your eyes twinkle when talking about him.
Janet claps her hand, you jump slightly at the cracking sound. For an old woman she could clap really loud. She grins widely at you, smile lines prominent.
"Oh my days! Finally!" She clutches her pearls, "oh so proud of you, sweetheart. Tell me, How'd it go? Only if you're comfortable of course"
"Well he made this really dramatic entrance at the show, running late of course" Janet hangs on to every word, eyes flickering to your tired ones. "After he walked on the runway he just upped and kissed me" you say still in disbelief, happy that you've finally told someone else in person.
Telling Yuri and the others on the phone wasn't as satisfying as you thought it would be. Still, their happy screeches and between 'told you so's'– It left a very giddy look on your face while Hobie rolls his eyes at Yuri telling James he owes her money. Ned was yelling the entire time, chanting 'I did that!' On the speaker, so loud in fact you thought he was gonna break it.
You didn't even mean to tell them at first, but when you answered the phone, Hobie's phone at three am, voice hoarse, sleep still in your eyes with Hobie tangled around your body, telling you in his sleep deprived voice to drop the call, it's safe to say your eardrums almost burst out with (a very drunk) Ned's surprised screech followed by (an equally drunk) Yuri and James. There goes keeping it a secret for a while till you two get the hang of things.
Despite that, your past thoughts linger in the back of your head, hammering loudly, threatening to break down your defensive walls.
"But you don't look too happy" Janet pipes up after your retelling. She looks concerned, lips turning into a thin line. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, I'm really happy" Voice quiet, surprised that she saw through the cracks. You're really happy but the offer has your very being torn in half. Occupying your thoughts, eating you inside.
"Honey, I have five children and eleven grandkids, trust me I can tell." She sighs, eyes softening. "You don't have to tell me, but if that boy did something–"
Shaking your head, you're prepared to defend Hobie with your life. "It's not him." With a wobbly breath, you ask her for advice. "Did you ever have to leave someone you love because it'll be better in the long run?"
"Depends, better for whom exactly?" She turns around, grabbing your order from the shelf behind her. "And why would it be better for them?" Bringing the rolls of fabric on the counter with a thump.
"Nevermind, it's nothing" you retract your previous words. Palm aching from how hard you're clenching your fists, giving her a tight lipped smile.
Janet nods, genuine concern on her face. "I don't want to push you, but if you still want my advice just ask." She rings up your purchase.
"Thank you" paying for the fabric, you walk away from the cashier. An idea pops up wherein you don't have to directly ask, because if you did, it would make it real.
"A friend of mine was offered a job" biting your lip, you're technically not lying to her since your classmate Hannah got offered the same thing as you.
Walking back to the counter, Janet listens intently. "And uh, she's worrying about leaving her friends because the job requires her to move away," you pause for a brief second. "Really far away. And she hasn't told them"
"Give your friend my congratulations then." She smiles at you, "Was it a good offer at least?"
"Yeah, they gave m–her a lot to consider. It's a great opportunity for her," with all the numerous visits at her shop, you've grown to trust Aunt Janet with her wisdom in life, not to mention you're quite similar to each other. You value her opinion.
"But she's anxious because she wants to stay with her friend?" You nod at her question, knowing exactly what she's implying. "Well, ask her what was her initial reaction to the news, that usually gives a lot of information on what she truly feels" remembering your excitement and happy first reaction, you try to cover it up in your mind.
"She really doesn't want to leave him behind" your eyes start watering at the thought.
"Does she love him?"
"A lot, she loves him so much it hurts sometimes." You inhale at the confession, feeling guilty that you're dumping it all on Janet.
She takes your clenched hand that's been shaking on the counter, unclenching it, your nails leave half moon indents on your palms.
"Just talk to him, tell him. He'll help her figure it out, better than this old woman can" Janet squeezes your hand. You nod, taking her advice.
"Thank you, I'll tell her that" smiling at aunt Janet, you blink away the tears pooling in your watery eyes.
"Do you want to have a cup of tea? My daughter just sent me a batch from India. I think you'll like it." Janet asks, determined to help ease your mind off of things.
"Okay, sure" accepting, she leads you behind the counter into the back of the store.
You wave to Janet goodbye, stomach full of tea and biscuits. Opening the door, you stop in your tracks.
Hobie leans on his bike, grinning widely as he sees you come out of the store. He gives you a look that sweeps you off your feet, feeling like you're back in school having a crush on your best friend. Your heart sings in his presence, a giddy smile on your lips, practically skipping over to him.
"Hi, what are you doing here?" Your smile turns into a frown when you spot a cut on his lip. "Holy shit! What happened? Who did this to you?" Anger settles in your chest. Hands carefully cupping his jaw, scanning for more injuries. You grit your teeth, winching at the thought of him getting hurt.
"It's nothing I can't handle, you should've seen the tosser who tried to take me on" He holds your wrist, calloused fingertips massaging the tensed muscle.
"Are you okay? Any pain?"
"I'm fine, I can barely feel it now" it's how he finds out about his enhanced healing, thanks to the ability, he healed it in no time. The injury looked much worse before coming to you. Still, he savors you doting on him, "Gromit, I'm fine, yeah? Don't worry"
You let out a breath you didn't notice you were holding. Hand sliding down to his neck, fingers fiddling with his necklace. "Are you sure? Let's just go home for today, then you can tell me who I need to beat up" pulling back, your eyebrows knitted together.
"Nah, c'mon. I feel better now that you're here" Hobie pats the seat of the motorcycle. Noticing that you haven't moved, he tilts his head, giving you his most convincing smile. "Gromit, love, cherry" He calls every nickname you have until there's a shy smile on your lips, he even calls your most embarrassing childhood nicknames, "little worm, pebbles, guppy" you hide behind your hand.
"Okay, enough" you laugh, embarrassed at the names, especially that you're on a semi busy street. Taking your hands away from your face to cup Hobie's mouth. He smiles underneath it.
"There she is" Hobie brings you closer, pulling you by the sleeve of his jacket.
"I hate you" you grin through it, eyes flicking down to his lips, worried that you might exacerbate his injury if you kiss him right there and then.
He chuckles deeply, "You love me though" Hobie shuts down your apprehensiveness, lips a breath away from yours.
Sighing, you act exasperated but your love struck smile betrays you. "Unfortunately, I do" you quip back, words stitched with fondness. Closing your eyes, he guides you into the kiss. Hands flying to the back of his neck, deepening it further.
The nagging feeling stays, whispering and taunting. You push it far back in your mind, it gnaws and claws, begging to be let out.
You whistle out at the breathtaking view in front of you, clutching the bag of fish and chips in your arms, Hobie helps you take off your helmet. The cliff overlooks the city's landscape, sunset turning everything around you in an orange glow. To your right is a dozen or so picnic tables, moss clings to the wood, still it stands tall. Behind is the woods, thick enough to get lost in, curved oak and pine looming like giants. Birds chirp in the background adding to the calm scenery.
"Do you take all your women here?" You ask teasingly half seriously.
"Only the ones I've pined for since childhood" he joins your side, shoving you with his hip lightly. Hobie takes the bag from your arm in exchange for his hand. Intertwining his fingers with yours as heat rises to your cold cheeks.
You and Hobie are the only ones in the place, save for a few birds and critters hanging around. Cold air nips at your neck, the sun making it warm enough to enjoy the weather.
Hand in hand, he guides you towards one of the tables. Sitting down, you inhale the fresh air. Hobie gives you your share of chips, you smile at him appreciatively.
"So, who do I have to beat up?" You ask, cracking your knuckles for added effect.
Hobie chortles, "hell, I'll even help you"
"What happened anyway?"
He sighs, frustrated. "We got blocked, they knocked down one of us for no reason. Things escalated" Hobie saves you from the violence. "Fuckin' Wilson Fisk still sits pretty up in his ivory tower" his frustration barks back. "Sorry" He exhales, unclenching his fists.
"Don't be, I should've been there. I'm the one who should be sorry" You take his hand, squeezing it three times.
"If you were there, you could've gotten hurt. Don't think I can handle that" The thought of you almost getting trampled back in the pit still weighs heavy in his mind. He brings your knuckles to his lips, pressing a quick yet affectionate kiss over your skin. "Everyone's fairly okay, we got out early. We'll try again though"
"I'll be there next time, are you sure it's not hurting anymore? Once we get back home, I'll put some betadine over it" the thought of you on his lap, cooing and cleaning his wounds fills him with affection.
"I'm sure, love" Hobie exhales. "Let's eat, it's starting to get cold" you nod, still concerned for him. Hobie watches your eyes roam around the greenery. "D'you seriously not remember this place?" Sitting next to you, he sips at his drink, avoiding his cut lip.
"Why? have we been here before?"
"Yeah, school field trip. Our classes had the same schedule. This is where we ate lunch, remember now?"
"Oh, shit!" Recognition flashes on your face. "Where we got left behind by the bus!"
"Mm-hmm" He points at you with a mouthful of chips.
"We got left behind because you were too busy snogging what's her face behind a tree to remember the call time"
"No, I wasn't," he shakes his head. "You gotta get your memory checked, love"
"Nuh-uh, I remember it because it was what everyone was talking about"
"We got left behind by the bus because I was lookin' for you" his face turning serious.
"What?"
"I never snogged anyone here" he scoffs, "wankers were stirring up rumours 'bout me again." Hobie scoots closer to you, "I got back to the bus after going to the toilets. I watched your bus get filled up but I never saw you get on. So I came back out to look for you"
You nod, trying to recollect the memory.
He walks you back to that day. "I looked around, asked your classmates. No one saw you. I was starting to panic, thinkin' you got lost in the woods, tempted by a ghoul or somethin'" you snort at his joke. "Found you ten minutes later, crouched on the grass, drawing a fucking flower"
You hide your face in embarrassment, remembering exactly why you hid there. Memory brings you back to that day.
Hobie finally finds you, he feels like he can breathe again. Sitting quietly next to you, his eyes linger on the side of your face. Clutching your sketchbook and pencil in a tight knuckle grip.
You sat there in silence until you forgave yourself for loving him.
"Oh fuck" voice muffled by your hands. "We were stuck here for like three fucking hours because I was such a dramatic bitch!"
"Well, it was a pretty flower" he tries to make you feel better.
"That was not my best moment" you chuckle, "I remember running there because I heard about you kissing someone. Guess I've got a penchant for running away huh?"
"No matter, I'll keep trying to find you whenever you do," you smile sweetly at his words. "Or just catch you before you do"
"You're implying that there's going to be something for me to run away from" you joke, Hobie goes with your bit.
"I don't think there's any more crude rumours of me out there. Think you're good, love." You shake your head with a playful roll of your eyes, cleaning a crumb off his cheek. Hobie gives you a peck on your finger tip as a thank you.
A comfortable silence blankets you both, your mind takes the quiet to its advantage, it goes back to Janet's advice. Mrs. Williams' words echo around you, layered on top of Riley's offer. Heart beating fast, the plastic spoon snaps in half as you grip it too tightly.
Hobie's head turns towards the crunching sound, "you alright? Let me see, you might have splinters"
"I'm okay, just flimsy plastic"
"Here, you can share mine."
"Thanks"
Silence permeates the air once again.
"I need to tell you something" you and Hobie say at the same time.
"Age before beauty" He pokes your side with a chuckle.
You bite your lip, gaze lingering somewhere other than his face. Eyes moving at the gaps of sunlight on the trees. Maybe you shouldn't tell him, you're gonna stay with him anyway, what's the point? You find It painfully difficult.
Because if you did tell him, it would all feel sickenly real. A gut feeling fluttering restlessly, mind predicting the outcome of the conversation.
Hobie notices your apprehensiveness, he calls your name tenderly. Encouraging you to speak your mind.
"Do you remember that bloke back at the fashion show?" Bravery taking over with a shaky voice.
Humming in understanding, Hobie moves his leg over the bench, straddling it to look at you fully.
You fake a smile through it, "well he offered me a job"
"Bloody good on you, love!" He pats your arm, hand staying on it. "Well deserved!"
You smile bashfully at his reaction. "Thanks, but I'm not gonna take it" you bravely look at him, focusing on the slow knit of his brows.
"Why not? 's a good opportunity" his hand slides down your arm, landing on your thigh, unmoving, tethering you to him.
"It's just that– they want me to move to the US for it." Sighing, "so, I'm not taking it" you watch as Hobie's smile fades, the cogs in his head moving rapidly, jaw clenching, wrapping his mind to what you just said.
"Sorry, what was it you're gonna say?" Trying to change the topic, Hobie takes your hand in his.
Heart lodged in his throat, Hobie stays quiet for a minute, for you it seemed like forever. The only sounds are the leaves blowing in the cool air, birds happily chirping as if they're mocking you. Faint traffic beeps from below, it might as well be right next to you with how deafening the silence is. The food you ate sits weirdly in your stomach. You try to even out your breathing as Hobie finally opens his mouth to speak.
"I fell for you right here, did you know that?" He squeezes your hand. You did not expect for him to say that, shaking your head, your heart beats a thousand times per minute.
"You gave me a sandwich– made me one, actually" he continues as you listen on. "Because you know I wouldn't bring my own lunch. You cared for me when no one else did. Then you upped and disappeared that day and–" Hobie releases a shuddering breath. "I just panicked. Then that turned into relief when I finally found you."
Stray tears slide down your cheeks. "As I sat down next to you, realizing that I was panicking because I loved you. And was afraid you were already gone without knowing how much loved you were"
A sob breaks through when you see his watery eyes, something you would've never thought of ever seeing from the strongest person you know and love.
"Hobie–"
"Take it, take the offer" he says woefully.
You shake your head like a child throwing a tantrum. "No, I'm not leaving you," your voice breaking. "I can't"
"You've wanted this since–before you've even met me." Hobie chuckles humorlessly. "I don't want to hold you back" softly, he cups your face in both hands, afraid of what he'll do next. "Do you want it? I won't hold it against you, I want you to fulfill your dreams" even if I'm not a part of it.
You nod your head slowly, answering his question, soft hands holding his trembling ones tightly. "Please, just say the words and I'll stay." You sniff, acting brave. "Please say it!" Balling his shirt in your fists. You hope, wish that he changes his mind. That he would tell you to stay with him. But you know him better, Hobie's a lot of things, selfish isn't one of them.
He stares at your glimmering eyes, watching his own face contort into sorrow. Killing the part of him that wants you to stay.
"You need to go" sobs wracked your body when he utters the words. The ground would've swallowed you whole if not for his hold on you. But it'll be okay if it did as long as you fall with him.
It's love in its most painful form.
His heart breaks for what he's about to do. Hobie takes out his favour card from his pocket, punching out all the remaining logos. You can barely see through your tears while he does it, the card looks bare in his hands. Small circles of logos taken by a gust of wind. He calls your name softly with no malice or resentment in his voice.
Nothing remains on the piece of paper.
You want him to scream and curse at you, make him feel something else instead of sadness. Instead, Hobie hugs you through it, shoulders shaking, hands wrapped around you protectively. Your hands cling to his vest like it's your lifeline.
You hate that you broke his heart after filling it with love.
In between weeping, you mumble 'sorries' love overflowing for each other, cups filling to the bream.
"I'm sorry," you look at him through the tears, cheek on his broad chest, he shakes his head, rocking you slightly in his arms. You feel his racing heartbeat.
"Do you regret this?" Us? You ask tentatively, sniffling. You don't want him to resent you for stringing him along just to leave him right after.
"No, never. I'll do it all over again if I have to.'' He doesn't regret loving you or even confessing, the only thing he grieves over is that it took him too long to do so, he would've had more time with you.
He resents himself.
"I'll wait for you" he blurts out through the tears.
"Please, don't. You don't have to"
"I've waited for you for as long as I could remember and I'll wait for decades more if I have to." He wipes your cheeks, you savour him with every touch. Hobie asks the dreaded question, "when are you leaving?" Whispering it to you so that the world doesn't know. Just you and him on that park bench, bodies in a tight embrace, love pouring out from every pore.
"In two months" you answer with a frown, tears still flowing freely.
"It'll be the best two months of your life then" he captures your lips in a solemn kiss, memorizing every detail, engraving it into his brain.
Hobie kept his promise, those two months were the best you've ever had. You and Hobie did everything you've ever wanted together. Moved in with him on that houseboat you've briefly called your home.
Bodies joined together on his sheets you've mended, love and laughter lit up the entire house. With every caress and whispered confessions sends you two reeling over the edge.
Still, your parting looms over your heads. Tears wiped away as soon as they started, reminding you that you won't be truly apart when your very souls have been intertwined since the beginning.
With tearful eyes and sad smiles you part with the love of your life. Promises of late night calls and hand written letters falling on both your lips. Kisses lingering, touch fading as you fly off to your new life.
Hobie takes your photo with him on every patrol, tucked safely inside his leather vest, fingers gliding over the seams you've stitched together.
You look at the polaroid of you and Hobie before bed as you end your call with him, his voice anchoring you. Looking at the moon on your small window brings you comfort that the same one watches over him.
He wakes up alone, sun beaming down on his face, smiling fondly, the thought of the same sun bearing down on you fills the hole in his heart. Reminders of you stays in his home, *your home. Throw pillows on his lumpy couch, your slippers in the bathroom, mug sitting next to his. He leaves it where you last put them, waiting for you.
You endure.
Slowly but surely you grow accustomed to your new life, getting used to the empty space beside you. You meet like minded friends, they help you get out of your shell.
You find yourself, the same one you've lost years ago.
Both of you try to make time for each other even with the time difference and busy schedules. You write letters sprayed with your perfume, a piece of fabric from your newest design is taped inside, words filled with adoration and content. Hobie replies immediately back, with blood stained knuckles he writes quickly. He leaves a dried flower inside the envelope, his letters always ending with the same three words.
After a rough battle, Hobie finds himself recruited to some society full of people with abilities like him. He doesn't seem so lonely anymore. A heavy weight lifted off his shoulders.
You see Spider-Man on TV one day, smiling as the reporter tells the audience that Wilson Fisk is finally out of power thanks to the spandex and leather clad hero. Even with the grainy footage, you recognize Spider-Man's vest.
You dream of each other, dreams getting blurry every night until it's foggy and muddy, turning into a dreamless sleep.
Hobie sees your familiar face, a version of you at least, he doesn't run to her or talk, just watches with a faint smile on his lips. Glad that you're happy in every dimension. He harbours no sadness or even guilt, just love. He'd always miss you but his happiness for you would always win over the emotion.
With each sunrise he wakes up to, satisfaction flowing through him, knowing he chose well. One day he looks next to him without sadness blooming in his chest, just a fond smile under his mask.
He's proud of you and you're proud of him. Sometimes that's enough.
Your love for each other never waned, it stood dormant in your hearts, waiting and yearning for the day you finally reunite.
Until you thread the needle again.
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A/N: AHHH!! IT'S FINALLY DONE! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading, and interacting with my lil story! And thank you for sticking around this long ❤️
Until next time, lovelies (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠。⁠*⁠♡
(Please read the epilogue when it comes out ily)
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