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faislittlewhiteraven · 2 months

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Undertale/ISaT crossover thoughts 2

Been thinking more about this despite trying to vent out all my thoughts in this previous post and now I have something of a plot I figured I'd share (in case anyone else would like a stab at it/some ideas for their own Undertale/ISaT crossover fanworks).

Story opens with a time looping Chara in the void hitting their breaking point. The wish for freedom from generations of monsters + their own alternating wishes to free their family and hurt the humans who hurt them equals a loop that begins with their incredibly painful death to buttercup induced internal blistering, and ends whenever Asriel (post absorbing Chara's soul) is killed or they 'fail to punish' Chara's human family and well. Chara doesn't know the rules so the two have them have been looping so long that now when they reach the village of humans by Mt Ebott, instead of the friendliness they were shown in early loops (before getting murdered by the official authorities who 'already have orders on how to treat monsters') the villagers now attack them on sight in terror (sobbing monster thing? Sadness!), and they keep dying over and over and over-

Basically full 'Start Again a prologue' vibes, and so Chara in full please just make it stop mode wishes to the Universe...

For everything that hurt them and monsters to be forgotten like a bad dream! (cue The Island, Sif and Chara's homeland, as well as certain nasty individuals like Chara's human 'family' being erased from memory)

For someone kinder, stronger, and untainted by hate to 'be the angel' to free the monsters in their place.

To feed the golden flower seeds stuck in Azzy's fur with their corpse.

To atone in any way for all the pain they've caused.

(To one day be able to sit and stargaze on top of Mt Ebott together with those they love, just like they promised Asriel they'd be able to do)

Cue time skip to after the end of Undertale and Flowey's 'please don't reset and ruin their happy ending' speech, to show Chara's ghost flopping on top of their flowerbed grave wondering how long they'll be able to last before they give in and ruin Frisk's happy ending once more (with heavy implication that Chara is once more stuck in a time loop with no idea how to get out).

Then a cut to Toriel and Frisk making their way down Mt Ebott and spying a shooting star, Toriel remembering her religion (goodness, how could she have forgotten the Universe?) and praying/wishing to the Universe to 'have one of its stars watch over her fallen children, and give them the happiness she could not'. Cue Chara being shocked out of their non existent skin by a person with the head of a star crashing down right through them onto their grave out of seemingly nowhere.

(Aka, Plot line 1: Chara is trapped in time loop hell and Loop has been sent to help them and possibly Flowey? out of it. ... That's literally all I've got for them right now because I have NO idea how to actually have them interact XD)

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Next section of story cuts over to the northern coast line of Vauguard: Sif and family (including Nille) are on their way back to Bambooche after their most recent travels when basically the world explodes into colours, Sif suddenly remembers a LOT more than they used to and they can all now see the large landmass to the north.

Much eye boggling, confusion, wonder and tears are had before everyone kind of parties and passes out but next day, things are being taken much more seriously:

Why is Sif's forgotten homeland, the Isle of Chara, suddenly back? Why are colours? How is this going to effect all of Vauguard (the fashion industry alone..)? And... What happened to the people of the island? Are they ok or..? And how will the rest of the world react to them being the epicenter of so much very unexpected change?

Cue brief discussion on whether or not to go (mostly just double checking with Sif if he's actually up for it despite the many potential horrors they could find there that are sure to be extra traumatising to them in particular), the group checking in with the House in Bambooche to have word sent to the rest of Vauguard (and hopefully the world at large) that the Saviors of Vauguard are on the case, and well. They could catch a boat or they could try walking along that MASSIVE steel and concrete bridge with its weird black road stretching out over the ocean (which was apparently there the entire time and ok, now everyone is getting really freaked out because it seems there was a fair bit more forgotten than 'just' the Island and the Stars. What else did everyone have stolen from their heads?).

(Aka, Plot line 2: The Saviors of Vauguard heading for The Island, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, and also the plot line I've done by far the most work on, to the point that it probably needs it's own post)

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And last section, Frisk leads their monster friends down Mt Ebott back to 'the village of the humans' they came from and the monsters are stunned by the sight of... Well, wailing and sobbing adults who barely give the monsters a second glance, curious and 'just as silent as Frisk' children who smile and wave, and an old man Frisk introduces as 'Elder' who despite being very wobbly and also in tears, does his best to greet the monsters, thanks them for returning Frisk and very politely asks if Asgore is their king and here to kill them all as the stars foretold.

Cue a bit of awkward 'Um. Yes and no?' with a request to open talks with the 'leaders of humankind' only for the old man to laugh and cry as he explains that he's the closest thing this settlement's had to a leader for years now by virtue of being one of the few adults here with enough presence of mind to actually function through The Forgetting (he thanks his younger years of being an avid traveller) and that since the monsters breaking the Barrier seems to have made The Forgetting stop and they seem to have some form of government then honestly, they're the ones in charge now since stars know there's probably not much left of the Island's government still remaining all this time, and it's doubtful the people of other countries even remember they exist.

Cue everyone other than Frisk who knew all this being very surprised (Frisk's follow up 'explainations' don't really help a lot since The Forgetting is all they've ever known, and Toriel is so messed up when she realises Frisk and a good number of other kids literally can't talk or read without 'Communication Craft' due to the memory wipe effects they suffered under while growing up) and well. Monster kind move out of Mt Ebott at a breakneck pace while Toriel, Asgore, Alphys and everyone frantically try to get everyone settled, help all the very damaged Islanders into as much stability as they can (some recover better than others but there's a lot of grief over lost family, missing people, etc going around and monsters end up stopping more than a few suicides), and get things organised enough they know everyone will be fine before they can move onto working out WTF happened here. Also in the process of all this they end up working out that some things (like who was in charge before The Forgetting) are still being 'auto deleted' from memory (though the effect is fading as time goes on) and also the Island's capital is a space warped nightmare filled with Sadnesses right now and probably everyone should avoid it.

Lots and lots of world building regarding what Monsters vs Sadnesses are, my headcanons for the Universe religion (going with the Monsters also traditionally being Universe worshippers and much talk is had on the differences between 'the old ways' Toriel and Asgore remember vs the traditions and beliefs of the Islanders), and... yeah.

(That's Plot line 3: Frisk leads the monsters to the one semi stable human adult they know of and the monsters realise that not only are they free to live on the Surface now but the local humans both see them as saviors and desperately need their help after going through something that arguably makes the Underground look wonderful in comparison.)

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Eventually I'm going to have to tie all three of these ideas together and I think I've got some ideas for Plot lines 2 and 3 such as:

Sif's family and/or Undyne bumping into each other catching all the trains to search for survivors across the Island

Mirabelle and to a lesser extent the whole party finding themselves the official Vauguardian ambassadors to the newly formed human/monster Island/Isle of Chara alliance who are very much in need of aid and more info about the rest of the world.

Papyrus and Frisk also being ambassadors, making all the friendships.

Sif realising 'the Elder' is their grandfather on their mother's side and trying to wrap their head around having any family around at all (and also trying not to think to hard about all the family still missing).

Isabeau and Odile uncovering just how much stuff countries outside the Island forgot (airports, train stations, cars, all that juicey science stuff).

The Saviors of Vauguard and various Undertale folks investigating the capital together (learning some of the less pleasant aspects of the Island's politics and culture while there including stuff about Sif's dad's side of the family and why the name Chara matter so much). But well. So far have NO CLUE how to get Chara, Loop and Flowey involved with the rest of the cast since well, they're reluctant to leave and no one else knows they're there. So. Yeah. That's what I have planned out mostly. Will list a bunch of stuff I've thought of regarding Sif's group going through the Island and their hometown (totally gonna bring up the 'Euphrasie Islander and possibly Sif's mom' theory in story but not actually confirm or deny it since well, Euphrasie is out of focus and most likely going through a major 'my memories have returned, how could I have forgotten-' breakdown her beloved Claude is going to have to help her through <3) but that's for another post and er. Yeah. Please feel free to share any feedback, ideas or thoughts you might have on this, and to take a stab writing/scribbling up some of this yourself as well as I think it cold be a lot of fun and I'd LOVE the help XD

#undertale #in stars and time #fais fanfic rambles #isat #isat act 6 spoilers #undertale spoilers #isat spoilers #ut #cw suicide mention #undertale isat fusion fic #post game #fanfiction #Chara and Loop have so much trauma to rant furiously together about but IDK how to even start #Flowey I think remembers SOME stuff looping with Chara during their fusion but they only got those memories back post Undertale #heavy focus on the forgotten island #and all the stuff that may have been forgotten all over the world (in both settings) along with it #...Now wondering if I could play up Dr Gaster vanishing as being partly due to the Forgetting as well #(I feel real guilty making Chara 'responsible' for causing so much damage they'll no doubt will feel horrific guilt over)#(hopefully ensuring the 'win condition' for the story's end requires them getting a happy resolution makes up for that a little)#no clue how to start it but yes frisk and Sif looper friendship is mandatory and I WILL make it happen. Somehow

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itsmaferart · 2 years

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Spy x Family Chapter 66 · · · Seed of mistrust

This contains spoilers for the manga.

This chapter has really made me enter an emotional turbulence that I don't know how to process. So I think I'll have to talk about this chapter in several parts

Before I talk about Melinda and the rest of the Desmonds, I want to talk mainly about Twilight in this chapter.

I was a little disappointed that Twilight's reaction was so natural. I was expecting a more epic expression, but I guess Endo preferred to take this issue more seriously and leave the jokes to Anya. Although well, I guess this is the funniest thing we can find xD

As we imagine: WISE, has very little information regarding the Desmonds. Each of them has a circle so small that it is almost impenetrable. So approaching Melinda with any attempt can be a huge risk. This could put any of the members, either Melinda or Donovan, on alert and end up isolating themselves to the point of being impossible to discover their plans.

I am beginning to understand the WISE conflict.

They are totally blind. They seem to have faint hints that the Desmonds are involved in something larger, and more dangerous, associated with war. Possibly, Donovan or Melinda, are the key to access a vast network of evil that is spreading. But they have covered themselves with such a deep armor that not even WISE has managed to have information about it.

There is nothing more dangerous than not knowing "where the enemy is"

This explains the constant pressure and fear of the organization when seeing that many attacks, and crimes are happening. But there is no solid basis to draw a conclusion or theory that makes sense, and tie up all the loose ends.

It is here, when Twilight himself feels with little information to theorize on his own.

Clearly, something is up with Donovan and Melinda's strange relationship. They are obviously an unconventional family and the "rejection" and "indifference" to their children, especially to Damiand, even becomes "terrifying".

This is more of an assumption. But I don't know if Melinda was forced to be Desmond's wife and perhaps have children when she didn't want them. This seems to go beyond a family deteriorating over time… or a marriage that has lost its love. It seemed that both of them were only fulfilling a role and maintaining the relationship for a true "convenience": power, protection, influence, social image, prestige, etc.

I wanted to dedicate a whole post to this topic, but I think I will try to make a brief mention:

Remembering the cruise arc. The shopkeeper mentioned that a split occurred within the secret government. While in the past the Gretcher family ruled the underworld in an "honorable" way, currently a man "with glasses" (by the figure represented on the panel) took power and started a division, being the reason why they were hunting to Olga. We are given to understand by the Director that "they do not support the war, much less those who try to make a fortune off it." So it is understood that Garden is against the radical sector that seeks confrontation.

Now, what side do the Desmonds play regarding the secret government? Are they supporting and financing the radical sector whose plans are war? Or are they on the same side as Garde?

Or much worse… what if the Donovans or Melinda play both sides and keep up appearances with both the radical and non-radical sectors. In this way, it is a game of double betrayal, no matter which side wins, they would benefit.

It also comes into question whether Melinda is against her own husband, whether for better or worse. And if this division that separates the Desmonds is not only "for sentimental reasons", but arises from political ideals… there is too much that we do not know

Maybe that's why the shopkeeper didn't see a problem with Yor getting involved with Melinda. But the way he says that "if anything were to happen, then of course… for that reason, I wouldn't exactly recommend it"… I don't know, it gives me a bad feeling, It is as if the shopkeeper thought that: The closeness of Yor and Melinda is not a problem at the moment, but it does not ensure that this in the future will be dangerous

But this topic deserves a separate post….

Although, it is strange the idea that the meeting of Melinda and Yor is planned. That means the Desmonds have been watching the Forgers and they haven't noticed. Which, is strange, considering Yor and Twilight are keen to notice when they're being watched…

We know that Yor was only the mall at Anya's request, so if Melinda planned it, it would be because she's been watching her from the beginning.

But, as Twilight himself supposes. It feels strange that this is a joint strategy of the Desmond parents. So it may be possible that it remains a chance event, risky and beneficial.

This really worries me....

I know that many talk and highlight how Twilight is willing to protect Yor… but… actually… this doesn't really relieve me… on the contrary, it worries me.

¡It breaks my heart to see that by now Twilight's mental bias is so ingrained in him that his first reaction is to distrust Yor!!

I understand, he is a spy, he was trained to distrust and see the worst case scenario. He does it to preserve his own security, and that of his work. But that he mistrusts Yor in the slightest shows that she does not have his absolute trust and this may continue to be repeated more in the future

I'm glad that Anya immediately clarifies that it was because of her wishes that Yor went to the mall. But even so, despite everything they've been through, living together, and Yor's efforts to be a good wife and mother, Twilight doesn't seem to realize (or doesn't want to) how important he is to Yoru. He represents a motivation for her, and she does not want to hurt him or betray him. Yor's ideals are not political, nor interested. Her support for the shopkeeper and his ideals are only because she feels that being an assassin could "protect her true interests", the love of her family.

I understand that Twilight is blind to Yor's job as an assassin. But the fact that he still feels the possibility that Yor is up to something behind his back: either handing him over to the SSS, or colluding with the Desmonds....Clearly, he still has a long way to go…

For even though Yor doesn't know he's a spy. She never doubts anything about him.... Although, well, she's very naive… still

The way she looks at him. She feels so relieved, motivated and happy that he has her back.

I know Twilight is being truthful right now. The transparent speech bubble tells us that he really thinks that way. I'm sure that if Yor had met friends, other than Melinda, Twilight would support her so that she had fun, and could expand her social bonds.

But with Melinda and Donovan in the equation, everything becomes so risky and unknown.

And as it is a habit in him, he will always say that everything about it is for the good of "the family facade".

I know that Twilight deep down has very important feelings for Yor, I think he's sincere when he doesn't want to risk her too much, and above all that "he will be ready to protect her".

But also, I feel like this sets the stage for the Forger family to start to crack. Considering that the Shopkeeper felt obvious suspicion about Loid Forger and his attempt to get close to Donovan. It may mean that Garden becomes interested in investigating the sudden husband of his best assassin… and if this leads to the assassination organization associating him with a threat, they either think he's a colluder with the Desmonds (whose party may be financing war plans and strategies), or they discover that he is a spy. Twilight and Yor's identity may be compromised in the future.

Which can lead to more distrust and dangers….

In other words, Twilight has never suspected that Yor is an assassin, and yet she feels the need to question his trust in her… the fear that she will turn him over to an enemy, or that she is planning behind his back. persist in it. If in the future Garden begins to show interest in him, it may lead to their identities being revealed.

feel very sad for Yor…. She is getting caught in the middle of a battle that she didn't ask for.

She clearly looks confused and unsure.

I feel that Yor deep down felt that he should mistrust Melinda, because of her terrifying expressions, her omissions, and such covert phrases… But she is not one to reason intellectually about the events of her life. It is her emotions and her instinct that warn she of the risks. But at the same time, she feels that she should not waste the opportunity to have friends

She just wants to have a quiet, peaceful life, to feel integrated into her family and the world around her. But these insecurities make them vulnerable, to fall in the middle of the conflict of WISE, Twilight, the Desmonds and Garden's actions… And I worry that she will be hurt and emotionally wounded.

I don't want to sound dramatic or negative. But I feel that Endo is telling us that many things can happen… things that the Forgers have to watch out for.

I know that Anya's efforts, they are funny, help to lower the tension of the chapter. But it's sad to see that Anya understands that Twilight's reason for being with her has been the Strix mission, and feels that the affection she receives from him is only for the "mission". If she is no longer her father's main plan: Plan A and plan B, she feels that she will be left aside and therefore abandoned

Clearly this is not true. Twilight truly loves Anya as his daughter, even if he doesn't admit it. But the weight of the Strix mission, the constant stress, pressure and preservation lies. They make each of the Forgers inside let themselves be enveloped by their insecurities.

Although Anya reads Twilight's mind: she feels that his thoughts (and emotions) are too confusing to interpret and she questions the stability of her happy and fun life.

This sparks a war between mother and daughter (something Yor has no idea about) for Twilight's attention.

I have always believed that the Forger family is an analogous representation of the peace between Ostania and Westalis. One family/two countries, happy and at peace based on lies. But when the truth is unleashed, it will be the end of this "illusory" peace and will bring with it many tears

I worry that the Forgers get so wrapped up in their own ambitions and desires that they end up embroiled in a trope so dangerous and entangled that it's hard to escape: Twilight, because of the mission, Yor in her attempt to be "normal" and "accepted ", and Anya in her longing for her father to love her and not abandon her. That the Strix operation begins to get complicated and with them leads to all this bomb of lies being unleashed

And this is when feelings become confused… What is a lie? What's the true? Who is an ally? Who is enemy?

I feel like there's a lot of drama coming up… and while this may not have an immediate effect… I hope that each of the Forgers get through it… and especially that they can understand that they are a true family and see beyond lies, ideals, war, and ambitions.

And the three of them understand, that no matter what they are a spy, an assassin, an experiment and a dog that sees the future. They all look for the same thing, a home.

I feel like I have to prepare tissue boxes T_T

What do you think?

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ungrateful-cyborg · 6 months

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10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @miqojak! Ty! It didn't even take me half a year to get around it this time XD

In no particular order, except for the first one ever since I'm 16. Also finding 10 fandoms is kinda hard because I'm def not that active, or even a passive participant, in so many fandoms so you'll get a glimpse of my younger self instead :'D

And long post ahead so thank you in advance if you've taken the time to go through this list!

Kanon, from Saint Seiya

Look, this is the blorbo and if you see similarities between his backstory and Kazan's, no you don't. Mentioning either him or the manga is enough to get my friends to sigh and groan as they await the inevitable gushing/rant that'll follow (which reminds me that I haven't, actually, gushed about him or ranted about the manga in quite a while now). Which is to say, I love lonely sad villains/antiheroes and if you've ever seen me mentioning the forbidden blorbo, now you know who I'm talking about.

Emet-Selch, from FFXIV

At this point I feel like I should mention that I do not stand in favor of manipulating or killing people as a form of therapy :'D

A bit more seriously though, I think he's the first character I felt so viscerally about in the game? Like I never agreed with his views but going through ShB I really hoped we'd managed to bring him to our side. My tragedy-loving ass won't complain about how ShB ended for him, mind you, but still.

Honorable mention for Thancred too, whom I feel more and more attached to as times passes, and also Y'shtola but in her case it's perhaps more the fact that she's, in terms of behavior, very much My Type.

Madi, from Black Sails

There are many great characters in that TV show and if you haven't seen it, I can only recommend it to you. But really, Madi is my favourite of the lot and definitely the inspiration for Inge if I had to pick one.

Between her cleverness, her dignity, her integrity, her charisma, her dedication to her people and her cause and her curiosity about others, what's not to love about her?

Varric Tethras, from Dragon Age 2 / DA:I

I was hesitating between Isabela and Cullen, but then I remembered the Best Companion Ever and how could I not put Hawke's most loyal friend on the list? I love him, love his loyalty, how he stays compassionate despite all he goes through, his sense of humor, his honesty... Only wish we could have romanced him in DA:I, but on the other end I like his story with Bianca so I'm not too sad about not being able to.

Byakuya Kuchiki, from Bleach

In the spirit of this dash game I'll respect the rules and make a choice, but if I'd filled this list any other day, I might have put Grimmjow there instead :'D

Anyway. I love a stubborn man with a stick up his ass and too many (conflicting) principles despite a rebellious heart who needs to be almost killed to start thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, he could have handle a Situation better.

And I love this character development past that point.

He wasn't an inspiration for Wolfe, but they're very much alike in several aspect. Byakuya is, however, a lot better at keeping a straight face.

Lois Habiba, from Torchwood S3

I haven't watched Torchwood in a long time but I remember her. In fact I remember Lois better than I remember some of the main cast.

She was just a normal young woman who had managed to get a really good job and risked everything to do the right thing and idk. She was just a really solid character that deserved better recognition.

Dean Winchester. Do I need to say from where?

Look, I loved all five seasons of Supernatural. A shame they didn't add more later!

And with Dean it's a bit personal so I'm not gonna go deep in details about it, but let's just say that there's quite a bit of me that I recognized in him and I just want to give that man a hug.

Donna Noble, from Doctor Who

I'm not up to date with the new seasons/episodes so no spoilers please!

But hm, yeah. I think what I loved the most about how Russel T. Davies was directing the show was how real his everyday people turned companion felt, and while I preferred Rose when I was younger, the older I get, the more appreciation I have for Donna.

She's just so full of life and character, so brave and so unapologetic about being herself despite her self-esteem issues, but I think what I love above all else about her is how she always acted as an equal to the Doctor.

I'm gonna repeat myself but really, the older I get, the more I love her. And I really need to catch up :'D

Cain Hargreaves, from the Cain saga

Honestly I don't expect anyone to remember this manga XD It's an old one I read when I was a teenager and one of the few I kept despite not having re-read it in 10+ years. I don't remember that much from it but I do remember the ending quite well.

Anyways. Cain's a young earl with a tragic past, a strong sense of justice, more money than common sense, a love for poisons and a fear of commitment. Truly, what could go wrong with such a character?

Also:

"Have I ever failed a promise to you? - Yes, all the time." after his sister made him swear he'd come back to her alive is just perfect.

Spike, from BtVS

He's devoted, he's cruel, he's romantic, he's brave, he's pathetic, he's capable of taking responsibility for his actions... I love a multifaceted character and I've had a soft spot for Spike ever since I've watched the series for the first time.

I rewatched it not too long ago and it didn't age that well imo, or maybe I'm just more critical than I used to be, but I still think Spike is an awesome character and I love that it was in spite of Whedon's intentions for him.

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And I believe that brings me at 10 characters for 10 fandoms! It strangely feels more like undressing in front of strangers than actually undressing in front of strangers :'D So obviously I'm gonna tag a few people to do it too:

@under-the-blood-moonlight @merlwybs-wife @voidtekarc @alannah-corvaine @ashenbun @zhauric @biff-adventurer @tea-and-conspiracy and @confusedtia! And frankly anyone else who wants to!

#The More You Know #answered; OOC #I can only hope Tumblr won't block the notifications this time around

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twilightofthe · 3 months

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writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @loosingmoreletters thank youuuu but i feel bad i haven’t star warsed on main really since the depression diagnosis which has been a few years so the first 4 fics aren’t even SW ;_; Also i put some of my parts from our collab fics to make me feel better about only having published/updated two (2) solo things within the last couple of years xD

Ok but here goes:

1. It’s just after midnight and Wei Ying is mournfully attempting to wash away his blue balls under the tepid-instead-of-cold shower head.

2. Blacking out after summoning however many the fuck demons who live in your head into the living realm does not always last for long, because blacking out means means you’re retreating inside your head where the demons run amok and they really make shitty company for any extended period of time, so sooner rather than later you end up dragging yourself back to consciousness just to avoid them.

3. The thing about being dead is that it’s a very distinct sensation, putting things if not lightly then the only possible way to put them because how does one explain the feeling of death to someone who has never experienced it before?

4. “Hmm…”

5. After two weeks of traveling at sublight with only the distant, unforgiving stars and his own dwindling sanity for comfort, the far-off, twinkling gem of a planet through the viewport would almost be enough to make Obi-Wan cry if crying didn’t take energy.

6. The first time it happens can be blamed on Anakin’s love of questionable quality holofilms.

7. Whenever Anakin thought about maybe changing his mind on his shift-form, he always reminded himself of the massive amounts of hair over the furniture shed from Obi Wan and Ahsoka alone, and how he was more than happy to not add to it.

8. Considering what had happened the last time he was there, Din Djarin hadn’t planned to set foot in the same star system as Tatooine anytime soon, let alone on the planet itself.

9. Anakin was having a shitty day.

10. Trace doesn’t know how long it had been exactly since Ahsoka left them when the galaxy fell apart.

Ok, that’s the past 10! What i realize from them is that firstly, I’m an absolute run-on sentence whore and proud of it lol. Secondly, I internalized WAY too much paranoia about what constitutes a good hook because all of these read like “omg please be drawn in PLEASE be drawn in”. Like they’re not bad, but I can recognize myself and my intentions in my words and I see my eagerness. It’s kind of sweet.

Secondly, I realize that I do really miss Star Wars, but i think a combination of pandemic, a sudden depression diagnosis, and some unpleasant interactions ended up like. Tainting my memories of writing from that era and making it really hard to come back. Plus now I’ve got a newer hyperfixation and i keep reading a bunch of fic for it and stalking people’s tumblr blogs but also doing zero creation of anything to participate. I’ve gotten into some other fandoms in the past two years that make up the first four fics on the list, but even then it’s been hard to publish things that haven’t just been gift fics for my friends, jokes i can take a little less seriously, and collabs that make me less anxious as there’s numbers involved. I really do miss writing though. Like I’m a p decent writer I think, of course I’ve got much to improve, but reading through this and it is NOT as bad as I thought it would be, it’s good! But I wish I hadn’t abandoned so many sw fics, people have been so NICE, and it just feels like I’ve let them down. But I can’t even remember my original ending plans for so much of it and Disney continuing to leech all the joy and energy out of the series hasn’t helped either. But I am still insisting that I’ll be back one day. I will.

#i’ve got like 5/6 unfinished mdzs fics squirreled away on my laptop a few tolkien fics and even a few star wars fics left

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ladylilithprime · 1 year

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Lils's 2022 Fanfic Retrospective

Haven't done one of these in a while because something about Covid just seriously sapped my creative energies right out of me and I ended up not writing nearly as much as I wanted for 2020 and 2021. But something in Autumn of 2022 perked me back up, and here's what was accomplished:

Broken Hallelujah: My beloved non-linear narrative Archangel Samuel with Sastiel fic, with wonderful art by @jazzforthecaptain! Not a new fic by any stretch, but I did get a new chapter polished up enough to post.

Unspoken Rules Can't Be Broken: A deviation back into the Harry Potter fandom, because my fandom interests are ever-cyclical. This one was a writing prompt for Harry/Hermione with a specific prompted time-travel do-over premise. I'm not the only person to do it, but I seem to have done a few things that are unique according to my readers.

Wer zu Lebzeit gut auf Erden: More Supernatural! This one was a belated birthday gift to my beloved mutual enabler @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin, featuring a canon divergence at Swan Song where Lucifer and Michael were pushed into the Cage without their vessels, Gabriel took over Heaven, and the Winchesters were told firmly to take a few months (or years) off from doing anything that might break the world again. Very Samcentric despite being Dean's POV, and with some definite Sastiel undercurrents.

Every Time A Bell Rings: A platonic Destiel psuedo-sequel to "Wer zu Lebzeit" as a birthday gift for my bae @jupiterjames who deserved to have something sweet to enjoy. Castiel bakes a pie, and Dean has a canon praise kink. XD

Durch du Engel Halleluja: The actual sequel to "Wer zu Lebzeit" with Christmas, family togetherness, expected and unexpected guests, and Sam FINALLY gets to see the photographs Castiel and Dean keep taking. (Only chapter one got finished by midnight of December 31st, but by golly is this thing going to be finished before February!

Living, Learning, Tongue-Tied, Trying: A snippet originally written for Ro as a happy thought piggybacked off one of her fics of Team Free Will 2.0 before Chuck decided to be an assbutt with Jack going off to college. Also heavily Sastiel, because that's how we roll. XD

These Dying Embers: A contemplative Michael in the Cage watching Lucifer taking Sam apart over and over and over. I actually don't remember how long ago I wrote this one for @threshie, though if I took the hours needed to scroll back through my tumblr messaging history with Ro I'm sure I'd find a date range.

Crack Fic Hat Tricks: Also not new, these were born out of a writing challenge issued by @sageclover61 in one of the Discord servers. Despite the series name, they aren't all crack, but they were definitely all fun to write!

Diamonds Falling Down - Bela Talbot/Lisa Braeden

A Vow Unto His Own - Sam Winchester & Garth Fitzgerald IV

And I Feel Fine - Kevin Tran & Balthazar & Chuck Shurley

You Just Gotta Take A Piece Of Me - Gabriel/Donna & Anael

Let's Go Out With A Bang - Tessa the Reaper/Pamela Barnes/Ruby

Burn Your Biographies: Sabriel this time! Possibly unrequited, possibly not, I left it ambiguous because Gabriel was a traumatized little puppy for a while there.

Maybe More Than Enough: What's this? A new installment of the Something Beautiful Sastimmy Soulmate Saga?? In 2022?? Yep, apparently so! Dean gets filled in on the scoop Sam got from Castiel and sets off to get his brother's soulmate and his family some supernatural protection.

Sons of Men, and Angels: WOOOOOO! This is the original start to the Samael series, the very first work that featured Sam time-travelling back to derail the Apocalypse! I started this thing soooooo many years ago, and there's still so much in this universe that I've got written but can't post yet because THIS, this one is where it all started! If you've already read the Sam Squared series, you'll have a ton of spoilers for where this is going. And speaking of that series....

In The End We'll Surely Lose: This baby got two more chapters added to it, and the fourth is almost ready to be put up! Truly this was a good year for working with Samael's stories because...

Margin of Loss: Ouch. This one hurt to write. It was a random little thought of the canon universe that Sam left behind in SoMaA and the seasons of mess that followed and what it meant that Dean said Yes to a Michael from a completely different timeline instead of the one still trapped in the Cage with Adam. (It may also have been the jumping point of another SoMaA spin-off series like Sam Squared; there's a few of them at this point.)

The Dragon's Librarian: Another somewhat random ficlet that spawned in Discord chat with Ro-- literally, I wrote the whole thing in the chat window. Platonic or pre-Sastiel, with Prince Sam and Dragon Castiel as a hefty dose of inspiration from The Enchanted Forest Chronicles because I will probably never stop loving those books.

And last but definitely not least....

Tell It On The Mountain: A fluffy Sastiel story for @mrswhozeewhatsis for the @spnfanficpond Secret Santa exchange, featuring physically manifested wings, truth compulsions, cuddling by the fire, and mutual consideration for consent and bodily autonomy. (With some Accidentally Engaged thrown in for fun. XD)

And there we have it! Everything I wrote, worked on, and posted in the year 2022! Feel free to peruse various prompt lists I have and drop one in my ask box if you've got something you think would be up my alley to write, and let's see if we can't make 2023 even more prolific than 2022!

#2022 fanfic masterlist #supernatural fic #harry potter fic #sastiel #sabriel #rarepairs

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sunshine304 · 4 months

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Legend of Fei Ep 33

I kinda forgot to keep on posting this here. XD

We ended last episode with Li Yan in a predicament as she helps a wounded old man who was running from Disha…

Well, that was resolved quickly… Ying Hecong gets alerted to Li Yan’s problem by his totally not CGI-pet snake, so he and Yang Jin come to he rescue. YHC calls many more CGI snakes to the inn, clearing it out of customers and Disha alike. Sooo.. not only are Disha afraid of snakes, I guess, but Tong Tianyang also gets bested by some teenagers. Again. XD

A-Fei buys a horse to carry her up most of the snowy mountain, but of course she’s duped by the seller who works for Disha. Or rather, he was paid off by Lu Tiankuang to give her a horse that hates snow. Okay then. XD That bit of exposition was sure something! Lu Tiankuang is yet another drama queen, but a pretty one this time. He watches her ride off, smirking, because that’s in the job description for Disha. Smirking is very important!

Li Yan & Co help the old man escape, reassuring him that they hate Disha. They arrived at some old temple (I guess) where there are several children but no adults.

So the old man is called Liu Youliang, but I’ll hopefully not need to remember the name. Anyway, Li Yan wants to send him to safety with the kids, but then old Liu learns that his old general from the army is dead as well as pretty much everyone else from the Xiao family. He’s been secluded for 20 years and is seriously out of the loop… He doesn’t know any of the people that are brought up but he does know Li Zheng. XD Because of course he does, everyone knows sexy grandpa! ♥

Yang Jin looks kinda grim (? I'm not super sure what that facial expression is supposed to convery here.. seriousness? Sadness?). Does he know the man or is he just sad for him? Hard to tell.

Okay, old Liu was tasked with guardian the HTYS until his boss would send someone to fetch him again – which was 20 years ago. Oops. He also knew Chongxiao and kept up correspondence with him (though it seems Chongxiao didn’t think it was necessary to keep the guy up to date on news about… who is actually ruling right now etc.), so when he didn’t hear from Chongxiao anymore, he decided to leave his mountain and go looking for him. I guess he went a bit out of his mind up there. Our beloved trio is just like, "Aww noo not the HTYS again." XD

Li Yan & Co help the old man escape, reassuring him that they hate Disha. They arrived at some old temple (I guess) where there are several children but no adults.

Yang Jin looks kinda grim (? I'm not super sure what that facial expression is supposed to convery here.. seriousness? Sadness?). Does he know the man or is he just sad for him? Hard to tell.

A-Fei has a month to find the lotus plant. Thank you for some kind of time span here, I still don’t know how much time is passing! I think they mentioned last time that about a year or so has passed since A-Fei went out into the Jianghu? The show sure doesn't want to tell us much about how long she's been roaming around. Also like, is her mother fine with this? Does A-Fei write home to let her know where she's been and what she's doing?

The evil plan works: The horse really doesn’t like the cold and refuses to keep on moving. A-Fei loses the tug'o'war with the horse. She… ties the reins to a tree stump. That's… uhhh. Uhm. You hope it’ll still be there when you come back? You didn't even tie it all that well, really? That mountain still looks quite far away and you also have to go up there… Ah well… (We're not getting into how it's not very caring to leave the horse exposed to the elements like this while you go off for what could be days…?)

MU XIAOQIAO MY BELOVED!!! ♥

Well, at least A-Fei's horse now has company I guess.

Oh we’re all meeting up on the mountain now for a little showdown, yeah? Because Lu Tiankuang is there as well and we get some exposition by a passing farmer that he’s called Snow Wolf because he grew up in a wolf den on the mountain. As one does. Can’t help but find this guy kind of hot. IDK. It's the Jack Sparrow hair and the hint of stuble and the symmetrical face I guess. )Also, just thankful that Disha has someone there who is ruggedly attractive instead of a completely bumbling fool…)

Back at Li Yan & Co. They’ve talked long enough with each other for Disha to arrive. sigh Old Luo gives Li Yan the super secret map that leads the way to the HYTS and tells her to memorise it. She is now the only living keeper of this information. I can’t help but think that Chuchu should be here because she keeps info like that in her head after glancing at it once. Li Yan… not so much. XD Old Luo, you sure as hell are an optimist!

Old Luo then makes a fake deal with Disha only to set the map on fire and sacrifice himself so the others can flee. As usual, some old person hands over their wisdom to the young people and then goes and dies. XD I see a pattern…

In Penglai, the two old monks reminisce about the times when Xie Yun was young. Wang Yibo really doesn’t have much to do these last two episodes besides lying still and looking dead. XD He did have a lot of dialogue to get through before, so I guess this is a nice reprieve.

A-Fei’s surprising abilities include awesome free climbing skills! Up a sheer frozen mountain cliff. Of course! XD

Right on cue, everyone is up there when the lotus starts blooming! It’s nice that the flower waited until the three opposing parties have arrived! A-Fei fights with Mu Xiaoqiao and with the Lu Tiankuang before there’s a small avalanche or something. Editing sure is happening here.

BTW I really like A-Fei's outfit! I've liked most of costumes so far, she's got some really good looks. But I can't help looking at her here with that bit of fur trim and an otherwise exposed neck and think, "Please, girl, wear a scarf, you'll catch a cold!" XD

While A-Fei is unconscious, Xie Yun speaks to her in her dream/mind and tells her it’s okay to let the lotus go and that she should just come back to him. :( A-Fei is like, “nope, it's worth it”. THEM! T_T

Awww, Zhou Fei and Mu Xiaoqiao bond! ♥ I love him, please don’t die! You’ve got all the markings of someone who will give A-Fei his wisdom and then die again! (He'll likely die. I'm already sad.) But really, they’re so cute together, teasing each other and obviously respecting each other a lot.

Let’s see what Li Sheng’s doing, huh? He’s now at Chongxiao’s old temple of Qi School, looking for the old master. He’s moving through the forest with its misleading formation, being trailed by the "Black Judge" who wants to become master of Qi School and is a petulant child about it. He is trailing Li Sheng in such an obvious manner that I really can’t believe Li Sheng doesn’t notice! Like OMFG, just turn around once, he’s basically right behind you! And then the guy stumbles, because he really is this incompetent! XD He is now confused and doesn’t know how to get to the temple, but at least he remembers to get out of the forest again. My man, how stupid are you?

Tong Tianyang gets beaten up by Shen Tianshu because he’s failed to get the map for the HYTS and got bested again by teenagers. He at least remembers some things about the map, among them the fly-whisk of Chongxiao, which pisses Shen Tianshu off more because Gu Tianxian was supposed to watch the old man. Uhhh in the past or right now? It sounds a bit like now, but it must be in the past, right, because Chongxiao is dead as far as we know? (I've also forgotten who Gu Tianxian was… sigh)

OMG keeping all these Disha guys straight really is a chore…

Anyway, Tong Tianyang is sent to seclusion to sit down and draw what he remembers of the map. And he better remember a lot of it, or else! XD

Shen Tianshu grapples with the fact that he is surrounded by idiots. Poor man. XD

#legend of fei #you fei #yunfei #zhou fei #my posts #my gifs #sabrina watches legend of fei #cdrama

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totaldramafan-lauri · 11 months

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A little self-discovery

Heyyyyyyy! It’s....b-been a bit! Truthfully, I....I haven’t been completely OK this week. I’ve been dealing with some stuff, but....I’ve been though worse at the same time, so it’s not a super big deal. But.....I wanted to talk about this, cuz I.....kiiiiinda alluded to it before....? Dunno if anyone saw it, tho, but..y’know.......

I-I still wanted to talk about it....

This is something that no one but me will care about, but....s-screw it, I'm already here, and this might be something I'll mention again in the future, so....here goes....

So....this has to do with....family history and stuff, so if that doesn’t interest you, keep scrolling, nothing to see here.....XD

So, I’ve had to do some CRAZY stuff in order to get over post-Eurovision depression this year. I still dunno why it got SO bad this time, cuz it’s usually not, but....yeah. I was doing pretty much nothing but rewatching Eurovision videos for weeks last month. On top of that, my favorite idol/comfort person has been on hiatus for health reasons, and his fanbase is collectively miserable and missing him horribly, which brought down my mood really badly, making it harder to move on from Eurovision which makes me happy. But....I FINALLY did something that got me over it for the most part.

And that’s that....I, uh....I revisited an old special interest of mine. I’m not sure if I’m getting back into it necessarily, but I’ve been looking at old things and having a nostalgia trip. I was last into this in early 2013 (it was one of the last special interests I was into before Total Drama and me getting this blog), so it’s been a while. And....yes, it does have ties to Eurovision for me. It's how I first discovered Eurovision, which....is a really weird story. KeepinmindI’mAmericansoIHADtolearnthroughaweirdway*cough*

Now, I’m not gonna say what this is, cuz it’s not SUPER important to this topic. It’s just the catalyst for it. This is its own can of worms. And honestly, altho I look back on this thing very well (and I consider it one of the best fandoms I’ve ever been in), I’m also embarrassed by it in the present day. This isn’t something I’d really recommend to people. I’m happy it exists, but I’m worried if it’s.....aged well enough to point new fans toward it, is what I’m saying.

All I’ll say for now is that....it has to do with world history, and leave it at that.

(If anyone is interested in me talking about this, and don’t mind me potentially talking about weird stuff, I AM more than happy to explain. There’s a LOTTA stuff I can talk about, seriously. XD I had a lotta great experiences in that fandom, and could basically talk about it all day if I could. It was one of those fandoms that I had multiple phases of. It basically ruled my life for many years, and it helped me learn certain things about myself that are....still getting mileage today.....and again, it’s the reason I got into Eurovision, which I STILL love today, so....NEED I SAY MORE? It’s very close to my heart. I just don’t wanna talk about it RIGHT NOW cuz it’d lead to a huge tangent.)

Point is.....I’m revisting it. I’m looking at old stuff I saved, and even stuff related to it that I made myself. It feels like I’m 18-21 again......and, through that....I remembered that.....there was something I’d started to do, that I’d stopped when I moved on.

I was.....learning Croatian. In 2013....

And I stopped....

I had a whole list of words I’d learned even, and I- I forgot all about, it-

So, uh...I know that sounded REALLY REALLY RANDOM, so- uh-

The same time I was in this fandom, I was part of a subfandom for this group of OCs I really liked, and- g-gosh, this is going all over the place, pffffff- b-but, these OCs, had to do with the history of Yugoslavia and the countries it became and- I sound so stupid right now- P-point is, it was a really weird coincidence, that this happened, not that long after I learned that I’m one-quarter Croatian!

So......family-related rambling time:

So, I knew that my dad’s side of the family was Greek. And that my paternal great-grandparents (none of which I got to meet) were immigrants. But....I didn’t know everything for the longest time. I knew I was Greek, cuz fun fact my last name is VERY Greek, and we celebrate Greek Easter instead of regular Easter (I’m PRETTY SURE I’ve mentioned this on my blog before?). We also follow a few other Greek traditions, and I was taught a few words. And indeed, SOMEWHERE in my grandparents’ house, we still have my grandpa’s parents’ Ellis Island papers when they came to America from Greece. My grandpa is very much Greek.

But.....what about my grandma? Through my childhood, I thought she was also Greek, she’s always just fit in with the traditions and stuff.....I knew that I was told her maiden name when I was young, but I forgot it....and no, turns out she isn’t Greek. Turns out, as I learned randomly as a teenager....she’s actually Yugoslav. But wait, that country doesn’t exist anymore! It DID exist when her parents left it, but....not anymore. I was briefly curious about what she’d identify as in the modern day, but never asked and promptly forgot for a few years cuz it wasn’t a big deal.

BUT, in 2012-2013, somewhere around that time, in a random conversation with my grandpa and uncle, things finally came together. She was playfully poking fun at Greeks, and my grandpa made a joke about Croatians in response.

And it came together, exactly where she was from, and I could say what every part of me was without using outdated words. I was like....”that’s neat” at first, but I didn’t really dwell on it for a while.

But THEN, this fandom happened again! And it got me interested in world history, and I hyperfixated on this group of popular OCs from it, and.....i-it led me to blogs, and art, all dealing with.....all this history, through the lens of characters I liked, and I realized that I was kinda.....learning about a p-part of myself? And through it, I got....curious about it.....? It seemed so interesting to me all of a sudden.....?

I’m....one-quarter Croatian. Yet, I was raised as if I was half Greek. I....didn’t KNOW anything about Croatia or Yugoslavia. My grandma never taught us anything about her family and how they lived. She just took on the role of my Greek grandma with my Greek grandpa and she was just fine with that. And I am too, don’t get me wrong, cuz I love my Greek side, but.....I’ve ALWAYS known and have been in touch with my Greek side. And, for once, I was like...VERY curious all of a sudden, sparked by fandom of all things, to discover my Croatian side.

Through this RP account I used to follow (RIP Formspring), I got interested in the language. I taught myself the alphabet and a few phrases. I also watched a YouTube documentary on the history Yugoslavia once (dunno if it’s still up) and hooooly crap Croats are badass (there’s no other word to describe that, pfffff). That country has been through a LOT and WON. The fact that I probably have distant relatives over there that fought through all that for their independence REALLY interested me. Ashamed as I was to admit it, I got really into learning about Croatian history, all thanks to this really weird coincidence of discovering I’m part Croatian and then almost immediately after, discovering a Croatian character I liked that talked about his history a lot. All the while, jumping between this and a historical comedy anime. It was probably one of my weirdest summers interest-wise. One day, I’d be looking up art of ships I like, and the next, I’d be learning a new thing about Croatia. A fun fact, or a not-so-fun fact, or a new word or phrase, or something completely random from this blog I followed, pffff....

I was super into learning about this seemingly-random country that I was slightly embarrassed about it, and didn’t really talk a lot about it to others. It would’ve been easy to say “my grandma’s from there”, but I dunno, part of me didn’t feel like that was a good enough excuse to admit I’d watched war documentaries. Guess I felt....guilty, so I hid it.

And then.....I stopped.

I got into new interests. It happens. I couldn’t stay fixated forever. The fact that it was a short Kirby’s Return To Dreamland phase, and then Total Drama of all things happening, that led me away is kinda funny to think about......but, eh, with how problematic my old fandom....could PROBABLY be viewed as, I guess I’m happy I avoided having a Tumblr while I was an active fan? Again, it was probably the best fandom I’d ever been in, but.....y’know, with time, things could’ve gotten uglier if I was actively gushing over it, so it kinda does feel like I dodged a bullet. I could easily see myself pissing off a hatedom.

But.....here I am again. I came back. Not to the fandom as a whole, but just feeling nostalgic and looking back at old stuff. And lo and behold, I remembered my old project eventually. I kinda felt bad that I stopped for dumb reasons, but then again, I started for dumb reasons too......

I still remember the alphabet, and a few words. Part of me still wants to learn how to speak in...even small sentences at one point. Not enough to wanna take lessons, but...step-by-step by myself. It’s a “what if” situation. Maybe I never will be able to speak it, but one can dream.

So....yup, that’s what I’ve been up to this past month or so. I’m not watching war documentaries this time, thank god (seriously, 21-year-old me went to the darkest places first, huh >__> Dang history fixation), but I’ve been looking up videos on several locations in Croatia, for one. Gorgeous place. If I could, I’d try to go there, but social anxiety makes it REALLY HARD to bring it up to my family, especially when I’ve NEVER brought it up before. But even in videos, I am immersed when I look at it. It’s my dream vacation (well, one of them). Split is one of the prettiest places I’ve seen in my life. Which, again, I did NOT expect. I’ve heard multiple people talk about the prettiest countries in the world, but did anyone mention Croatia? Nooooo! But it’s a very touristy country for Europe, it’s just that Americans don’t talk about it. Hmph! >__> Not only that, but.....Croatian music. SO much music. SO MUCH. I’m mainly using music as a way to learn new words, and....I got hooked. It’s REALLY WEIRD to say that the music I’ve been listening to has been one-third Eurovision, one-third K-pop, and one-third random Croatian songs from playlists I found on YouTube.

It’s been....a LOTTA Eurodance, actually. I didn’t search for any specific genre of music, I just looked up “hrvatske pjesme”, found a playlist, and it was mostly Eurodance, which I did NOT expect! From the kinda songs Croatia sent to Eurovision, I didn’t really associate them with dance music, but....turns out, they’re REALLY GOOD at dance music? Who would’a guessed.....Seriously, I’m tempted to queue up some of the best songs I’ve been listening to to prove this. I might still do that....

(This doesn’t mean I’m gonna be developing a bias when it comes to Eurovision, tho. I’m still unbiased at heart =P I’ll be happy to have a good song, but if it’s mid, I’ll still say it’s mid. If anything, I might be HARSHER since I know how good their music can be now. And I’m not gonna hold back if 2022 happens again, Hrvatska. Oprostite. =P)

(D-don’t get me wrong, I’m not MAD that they don’t send the stuff I’ve been listening to to Eurovision, cuz.....well, it’s junk food. It’s not for everyone, especially here in the 2020s. XD Going the Balkan route makes more sense. Even this year, when they were taking the piss...still, that song was clever and had a message, which is more substance than Eurodance has, pfffff)

To think that this was all sparked by a fandom....that THAT’S what it took for me to fixate on learning this part of myself. But it’s true. It’s....e-embarrassing, yes. And it really only is one quarter of myself. I really could’ve went the rest of my life without doing any of this. But....my brain works in weird ways. And my interests can be super unpredictable. That’s a fandom that, again, I might talk about another time, but.....it really is super important to me for multiple reasons, and this is one of them - leading me to learning about my grandma’s country and its culture and history.

Why am I sharing all this? Cuz.....for one, I might be following this up with sharing Croatian songs on here in the future, or referencing E.T (Electro Team) or Colonia next Eurovision season, or even something else might pop up. It might seem super random, cuz, again, I’m American.....so I wanna explain where it came from. And also, cuz this started before I joined Tumblr, I...never got to talk about this weird interest of mine before. So...it feels good to finally get it out.

Again, it’s only a quarter of myself, but it’s something that makes me unique, and I’m still happy discovering it.

#lauri talks to herself #i hope this made sense to those you read it #if not then....it at least feels good to finally talk about #i know this is a really random thing to have interest in #but thats nothing new to me

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lovee-infected · 4 years

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Your character analysis posts are really accurate! I like how you want to show that a character is a lot more than they show. It kind of angers me that there are people who headcanon the boys as something they're not, or they saying that they're this one personality trait only. What other characters from twisted get mischaracterized, at least in ur opinion?

THANK THANKK !! XD

I really enjoy going into depths of characters' personalities because damn- there were some big brains behind their creations!

This question was rather important so I couldn't decide on any specific characters to talk about, so I decided to list all of the twst characters and how they'd often get mischaracterized.

Mischaracterization isn't bound to twst fandom because as long as a there's a fandom, fanon interpretations of characters exist.

Almost any character in any fandom can be mischaracterized at some point, but it isn't always that noticable or important. Mischaracterization often becomes noticable when pretty different interpretations of rather 'popular' characters exist within a fandom, which causes many to argue over what the correct interpretation is.

For now, I'm dividing all of twst characters into "5 groups" to explain how each of them might often get mischaracterized.

Group A: Complex personalities

It's simple, these characters can be quite hard to understand. It's either because of having too many features at the same time, which makes them quite hard to read because we'll need to achieve a balance between all of their different personality aspects, or being quite secretive and mysterious which awfully bounds our knowledge regarding these characters and their personalities.

•Malleus Draconia: We previously talked about Malleus; the main reason of him getting mischaracterized is having plenty of spine-chilling features while having considerably childish and innocent hobbies at the same time. This opposition often makes it hard to decide on what the cannon Malleus is like, because it can hard to choose one between his darker side and softer side. What we need in order to achieve a rather cannon interpretation of Malleus, is a balance. Just as I previously said: Malleus isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either.

•Lilia Vanrouge: Even without going into depths, you can tell that Lilia's personality is complicated as hell. Though I can't really tell that he's being Mischaracterized because the cannon Lilia himself can switch into a totally different personality in a matter of second, one moment he's a 90+ year old father trying to lead his children into he right path, one moment he's an unraveled neon teenager playing the ear-scrathing heavy metal with that guitar of his, and the other second he's an absolute monster which can creep the heck out of you with a simple "Boo". Lilia can also get plenty of different personalities through fanon interpretations:Yandere Lilia/Vampire fae/ Papa Lilia/ Daddy Vanrouge many other details which I can't go through now,but let me just say: A Lilia analysis would be rather long, and interesting one.

•Jade Leech: Speaking of reading characters, better know that this mister eel Leech is an absolutely tough one. You'll never know what he's hiding behind that friendly yet evil smile, or what intentions might be behind his extreme will to play the role of the butler and help everyone out. Understanding this Sebastian Michaelis complex is an absolute challenge and this is probably one of the things that makes him so Interesting, you always know that he's hiding something dark on the inside, yet you can't really tell what it is.

•Cater Diamond: This might be rather hard to notice, but there's a lot about Cater which is left untold. Despite his sweet and positive appearance, his personality is actually a bitter-sweet complex of too many emotions and a pretty well-written background. The amount of info found through his voice lines and personal stories is rather amazing as if you're reading a real boy's life story! But this amount of detail and considerably dark aspects of his personality can make it really hard to understand what's going on in this mysterious mind; especially because of how he seems to be hiding a second face under that friendly smile.

•Jamil Viper: Jamil can be quite hard to read. He isn't really emotional and hardly ever expresses his true feelings. Even NRC students agree that he can be quite a mystery, from his past life and daily struggles to how many of his true feelings and intentions remained a secret until chapter 4. Jamil is a complex of pain, power, hatred and patience. His background is perfect example of a villainous story and how a child can grow to be a villain, which is quite interesting! Jamil's story is worthy of a detailed analysis and some time for all of us to understand what this guy has been going through.

•Rook Hunt: We often tend to know him as Pomefiore's "dramatic stalker", and he surely is! The fanon interpretation of Rook doesn't usually go against his cannon interpretation (Expect for the times that people get salty over his appearance or attitude- Which leads to the creation of countless Rook memes-) While it's true that he's more than just a French stalker, it can be hard to talk about anything else when it comes to Rook, because the cannon Rook tends to hide a lot about himself, leaving us with a considerable lack of useful information to use. He really got us all there, huh? Even as he's a fictional character and we're living in real life- he tends to control what we know and think of him-

characters that can also belong to this group: Leona Kingscholar, Idia Shroud, Vil Schoenheit , Floyd Leech

Group B: Ignoring important features:

This group can get easily mischaracterized, mainly because each and every of them has an specific feature that really makes them stand out. (Ex: Riddle's short temper, Azul's soft and sensitive side, Sebek's obsession with Malleus,...) But paying to much attention to that one specific feature often leads to ignoring everything else about their personalities, and gives them a pretty simple and fanon interpretation which can sometimes be the total opposite of the detailed and cannon one.

•Azul Ashengrotto: Azul's fanon picture had an extreme change after chapter 3, mainly because of how his background and breakable side was revealed; the cruel and heartless mafia boss turned into the soft and emotional baby. This sudden change in perspective stole the hearts of many fans and the fandom in general came to appreciate Azul even more, but at some point it caused his most important feature to be forgotten: Azul tends to be strict about hiding that sensitive side of his, so the Azul we get to see in general is the fearful picture of the mastermind who's taken the magics of many away, not that baby Octopus who used to cry whenever other kids bullied him because he was different. Getting to know his background and true feelings made us forget about his professional and strict side which is indeed the most important side of his personality!

•Idia Shroud: Baby boy, soft child, sweet tooth cutie, pretty little emo,...and hundreds of other nicknames to appreciate Idia and his iconic nature. But in contrast to what many assume based on his appearance and social anxiety, Idia is way different from just a shy yet adorable nerd; this guy is seriously hiding some evil inside. If you go through his stories and get to the points where he's thinking with himself, you'll see how different he can be. While he can't really get to tell these properly through his main lines, you can find him secretly insulting and nagging at how annoying some people are several times. It isn't just about being shy, Idia obviously dislikes many of the people around him. Focusing on his social anxiety and awkwardness causes us to forget how different he is when he isn't forced into a face-to-face conversation, also note that there are many thoughts going through this guy's brain that you probably hadn't thought of.

•Floyd Leech: While Jade's personality is obviously a pretty complicated one, Floyd's character is even more confusing because of his playfulness and seemingly childish manners. But it's important to remember that deep inside, floyd is just as mysterious as his brother. Describing Floyd as childish and dumb is equal to falling into Yana's trap, because Floyd is designed as an extremely smart and somewhat of sadistic character. It's so important to know that he's way more than just a chaotic eel or an playful idiot, Floyd literally has anything needed to be ranked among the most dangerous characters of the game, his personality along side his magic and genius can be quite deadly.

•Sebek Zigvolt: To be honest, many of us are just doing him dirty. Look, it's true that Sebek's often caught praising and talking about Malleus but please do not forget that Sebek as well has got his very own personality! Associating Malleus with whatever he says or does (especially through fanfictions) is somehow fading his character because most of the things I get to read or hear about him involves Malleus. Come on! This is Sebek that we're talking about, not Malleus! I understand that talking about Malleus is legit something he often does but while you're writing a fanfic, please remember that Sebek has got hundreds of features and personality manners to talk about other than talking about his "Waka sama". So instead of just focusing on his Malleus appreciation habit, try to get to know his very own features and personality! In many of fanon interpretations, Sebek is bound to doing nothing but talking about Malleus and only him which is pretty unfair! We should all take some time to talk about Sebek himself, not his obsession with Lilia or Malleus.

•Riddle Rosehearts: I understand where this is coming from, but I want to see something more than an angry Riddle shouting and screaming about the importance of rules and harshly forcing others into following them whenever I read something that involves Riddle. I see how being angry and turning as red as a tomato is his rather famous feature but we shouldn't ignore everything else about hum because of it. Other than his background and mentionable talents and abilities as the greatest dorm leader Heartslabyul's history, keep this in mind that Riddle did decide to try and change his way of leadership and reduce his obsession with rules after his overblot.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, Kalim Al Asim, Silver, Epel Felmier

Group C: Ignorance/Lack of information

The reason with this group is obvious, we need to talk about them more often! While they're all great characters with interesting designs and personalities, it's somehow rare to see anyone doing a proper analysis of their characters, either because of not going through their details or stories, or even going through them but not finding anything special.

•Ace Trappola: Both Deuce and Ace are characters who have appeared through all of the chapters so far, which means that we've had the chance to get to know them better than any other character in the game! But their fanon interpretations are pretty simple and sometimes, boring. Most of us don't even realize that we're mischaracterizing them-! I often see them being pictured as either stupid or loud and troublesome. Ace for example, got a really strong plot about how he'd go through a relationship and his past experience in the ghost marriage, which can be a strong guide to how we should picture Ace in reader inserts, but sadly we're just sticking to fanon interpretations and don't give his personality the detail and cannon depth he deserves. Let's note that he can be quite evil, smart, logical and unpredictable too at the time.

•Deuce Spade: Deuce's case is pretty similar to Ace. I'm not saying that he's a totally different one from how the fandom is characterizing him, but come on, Deuce isn't just a chicken dummy! We've learned a lot about his relationship with his mother, his past life, his relationship with his close friends, his hobbies and his will to become a great magician so there's a lot we can say about him! Instead of just sticking to his clumsiness and sometimes, stupidity it's better to consider those features and details to describe him. Not only will it make us have more of a cannon interpretation on Deuce, but it'll also inspire us to create newer and more creative content for him!

•Silver: Look, while many of us love this sleepy guy, we need to understand that he isn't just a sleeping beauty or Lilia's cute son! Let's admit something, we're facing a lack of Silver content and even as we go through most of the existing Silver fanfics and content, it either has something to do with his sleeping issues or his relationship with idia, maybe some arguments with Sebek as well but it's rare to see anyone talking about anything else than these when it comes to Silver. His relationship with Lilia and Malleus, he way he appears in others' side stories, how he handles his tasks and the way Malleus and Lilia describe him is telling us that there's a LOT about him which we often ignore!

•Trey Clover: It's true that the cannon Trey isn't that different from the fanon one, but I can tell that the fanon Trey lacks quite a few of the cannon features. We're giving him a rather solid and sometimes boring personality of Heartslabyul's calm and collected mum who treats everyone nicely regardless of how reckless or annoying or rebellious they are. But the real Trey does express annoyance and uncomfortablitiy from time to time, he can even be quite sarcastic. If you come to get a close look, you'll see that Trey isn't always as nice as he seems to be.

•Ruggie Bucchi: I genuinely adore Ruggie's personality design, especially how he mostly comes of as a mysterious troublemaker but at the same time, he's being a tiny family man on the inside. Watching how he can be quite reckless toward other students in NRC (especially the first years) and on the other hand, be a pretty caring and protective sibling who really loves and cares about his poor family and is working his hardest to support them really brings the tears of joy to my eyes. Ruggie's story has got a lot to tell and this interesting design and personality really deserves more attention and supporters!

•Jack Howl: It's true that Jack doesn't really get mischaracterized , but he deserves to be talked about more often! Most of the fandom captured his personality really good and I can feel his tsundere-ish and protective vibes through most of the fanfics that involve him. He's got a rather calm and collected nature which gives him a more balanced personality compared to the rest of the characters, and can make it easier to understand the cannon Jack. He used to get really mischaracterized back in twst's pre-release, but after the game was released and we got to know the cannon Jack, most of those misunderstandings were solved. Perhaps the only thing that I wish to mentioned more often are the adorable details and his background, especially his relationship with his family and siblings.

Characters that can also belong to his group: Silver, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Rook Hunt

Group D: The healing type (Iyashikei)

Look, the cannon interpretation isn't always the happiest or the sweetest. This group usually get mischaracterized because their fanon interpretation is presenting something better, something that more fans would accept and love. 'Softening extremely dark and unapproachable personalities' or 'spreading adorable and wholesome headcanons' are two common ways of the healing type. Characters with extremely bitter personalities usually belong to this group, because their stories can be too sad for the fandom, so many decide to go for a softer yet untrue way of characterizing them, which is sometimes good but going too far with the softening process often leads to creating a character that's nothing like the original.

•Leona Kingscholar: While I was working on my Leona analysis, I came to understand why some fans prefer the fanon Leona over the cannon Leona. Cannon Leona is quite dark and unapproachable, and you'll find his background and personality in general quite painful and sometimes depressing if you try to study the cannon Leona. Within all of the twst characters, he's got the darkest design therefore it can be quite hard for fans to accept his cannon interpretation. That's why some try to give him more of an affectionate and soft nature to make his personality seem less painful to go through. This sometimes create a totally wrong interpretation that goes against everything that the cannon Leona is, but at the same time many fans agree that cannon Leona on the other hand is just too dark to accept. We can tell that this fandom's favorite Leona is a balance of cannon and fanon Leonas, something neither too dark nor to childish and wholesome.

•Ortho Shroud: There isn't much we know about Ortho and his background, and I can't say that he's being directly mischaracterized either. Sometimes all we have to use in order to capture his personality are the fan- theories, which can really complicate stuff. Best way to know him is by paying enough of attention to his voice lines and hidden details, but it can end up being quite dark if you dig too deep- His background with Idia isn't directly mentioned but there are some dark details hiding through the story that can seem quite scary when you actually think about them, therefore many of the fans decide to ignore those details, and since there isn't much of Ortho content (mostly fanfiction) either, many (including me) decided not to mention anything about those dark aspects...

•Epel Felmier: Cannon Epel is quite different from the fanon Epel. Not saying that Epel is a meanie because he surely does have pretty cute and adorable aspects but the cannon can Epel can be quite reckless, mean and rude at the time while the fanon Epel is always described as a shy, cute boy(which is exactly what the cannon Epel hates to be described as). Going through his ghost marriage stories and voice lines, we can realize that Epel's rather bad with romance, and for now, he doesn't really seem to be interested in any love-related issues either. Writing reader inserts especially can be really hard if you're going to stick with the cannon Epel, therefore many choose to use the fanon Epel instead, a cuter and softer Epel who's quite acceptive and approval of being in love. A considerable majority of fans prefer this soft and cuter Epel, and this is why Epel mostly gets mischaracterized in reader inserts.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Malleus Draconia, Azul Ashengrotto, Cater Diamond, Ace Trappola, Lilia Vanrouge

Group E: Mischaracterized on main

Spreading false headcanons, not paying enough of attention to official details and simplifying complicated personalities are often counted as general ways of mischaracterization. Unlike the previous groups, this group doesn't really have a proper excuse for their mischaracterization, especially as we see some fans are being attacked and offended by some who tend mischaracterize characters in this way.

•Vil Schoenheit: We previously talked about Vil and how there's a pile of wrong information about him spread all over the fandom, from the one saying that he's trans and his pronouns are she/her (Many fans were attacked and forced to use She/Her for Vil) to the ones that are picturing him as a selfish character who cares about no one but his very own beauty, and is bullying Epel just because he envies Epel for being more beautiful than him. Look, regarding his relationship with Epel I must say that he's trying is hardest to make Epel be more mindful of his appearance and manners, he cares to help each and every around him look their best and isn't just focusing on his very own beauty. I meant to add him in group B because how many consider him to be obsessed with beauty and ignore everything else about him like his remarkable skills in leadership and other abilities in general, but considering the great amount of wrong information that is being spread around the fandom and is causing misunderstandings and arguments, I thought it'd be better to put him in this group.

•Kalim al asim: One sentence, four words: He is NOT stupid! While I insist that everyone in the fandom is free to have their personal interpretation and ideas regarding the characters and their personalities, keep this is mind that it's okay as long as it doesn't offend anyone else! How does it feel when Kalim stans are just watching others making fun of their favorite and calling him useless and stupid? Even worse, how does it feel when they're being told reckless stuff like: "Hey, you know that your favorite is the dumbest character in the game?" Let me clear 3 points right here: 1)Even if one's favorite is stupid, you do not have the right to insult them because of it even if you mean it as a joke 2)Nope Kalim is not stupid, generosity and caring for everyone around him with genuine kindness makes him a good and pure person, not a stupid one. 3) People who are saying that he's stupid because of not doing that great in school are just as funny as those who told all of us that you won't be any successful if you don't get good grades in exams. Lmao, dude this is the 21st century.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Floyd Leech, Epel Felmier

Well, I guess that's all? I couldn't talk much about any of them otherwise this would've gotten too long- So I just put a small intro of how each of the boys often gets mischaracterized instead. Okay it's awfully late lol I leave this now-

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nanaminokanojo · 3 years

Text

BLOOM | Sukuna X You | Part 1/3

collection masterlist

one two three | Bloom Masterlist

His hair was the color of cherry blossoms, that's the first thing you noticed. It was the softest shade of pink, easy on the eyes, reminding you of the tendrils of filtered rays of the sun lightly touching the edges of clouds very early in the morning. Or your favorite angora wool sweater.

The man stole your attention from the book you were reading when you chanced a look from your periphery just to check who sat on the stool beside your usual spot on the bar – the seat at the very end by the wall. Your planned glance turned into a furtive stare at the sight of him from his candy-floss-hued hair, the rippling muscles hidden under his white oxford shirt and the array of tattoos that peeked through his neatly folded sleeves. And boy, since when did men smell like vanilla and spring while also exuding such a virile scent?

A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth at the thought, internally shaking your head at your behavior. You should not be staring at people, and though you weren't exactly ogling him, you were still observing him enough to associate him with your favorite article of winter clothing.

"Hey. The usual for you?" you heard Maki, the bar owner, ask, giving you the idea that the man was a regular. How you haven't spotted him before was a mystery.

If it was already hard concentrating on the novel you were reading, you've completely forgotten about it when you heard him say, "Make that single-malt." It's either the gates of hell opened at the sudden heat you felt on your skin at the sound of his voice or the gates of heaven did with how delicious it sounded in your ear, thick like honey and deep with a distinct ring to it. It got you wondering what his mother craved for when she was pregnant with him, and your brain said, "Greek gods," when you lifted your eyes from the current page you were reading and briefly exchanged looks with him as he shifted his line of vision from Maki to you.

You turned your eyes back to your book, making it seem like you were just absently looking about, but in reality, it took herculean effort to wrench your gaze from him. In that brief meeting of your eyes, the features of his face registered in your head like a bar code scanner, etching itself in your mind like a white-hot brand. He wasn't shockingly handsome, but he was beautiful in his own right with those intense eyes that reminded you of drowning pools and the rugged yet refined planes of his face. It was as if an artist painted him in passionate anger, slowly fell in love with the piece and began redefining his features with gentler strokes.

You turned the page of your book despite not getting any reading done. Well, it has been the case for a considerable amount of minutes now, but you tried anyway, furiously staring down at the new page but not comprehending anything. Your eyes kept scanning the same sentence over and over again but it was not sinking in at all.

"Excuse me, miss," that deep voice you've already developed a strange affection for assaulted your senses again, making your head snap up to the direction it was coming from. Hell, you think you'll do its owner's bidding just hearing it at the rate you were going, reacting automatically as if you were programmed with a voice prompt or something.

You were about to look at him but Maki caught your attention as she pushed the smoothie you ordered towards you, placing it precisely in front of you on the hardwood surface with her fingers. She arched a brow at you, causing you to stiffen on your seat.

You've been coming to the quiet little bar since you grew old enough to drink. In fact, you considered it your regular watering hole, going there whenever you can even in the day as it doubled as a gastro-pub. You've already come to know the staff who reserved the spot for you every single time you told them you were coming, particularly the tough but very lovable Maki. She's basically a friend now, and you knew you were acting off if she was giving you odd looks.

"Thanks, Maki," you said just in time, even managing to smile. She just shook her head at you before walking away to tend to another client.

"I have to know what book you are reading," the person beside you said just as you began sipping on your drink, which, you've noted, was a cherry blossom tea smoothie that reminded you of him.

You let go of the straw between your lips, swallowing hard. Turning your attention to him, you found him sitting sideways, chin propped on the heel of his palm as he regarded you. "Huh?" was all you could manage to say to him.

A slow, crooked smile etched itself across his mouth, the action appearing sensuous with the gradual way his expressions changed. "That book," he said for your benefit. "May I know what it is about?"

You just blinked, still questioning yourself if he was addressing you.

"If you're that engrossed about it, it must be great," he said. "Mind telling me the title?"

"Book?" you asked dumbly. He was really frying your brain.

He pointed at the book you were holding with his lips, protruding them slightly before smiling again. Jesus, you loved the way he smiled. The gesture didn't belong there when you've already thought he was the smirking, grinning-devil type. It was too soft a gesture, but then again his hair was shell-pink – a contradiction to his stridently brawny features.

"Oh." Despite yourself, you found yourself chuckling. "I'm sorry, I was distracted."

"Not by the book, I hope."

You looked away, smiling to yourself as you closed the object in question and slid it over to him. When you looked at him, you were surprised to see him actually reading the synopsis at the back, interest flickering in his dark eyes. You were already expecting him to just read the title, probably the author, too, thinking he was just flirting with you judging by his last words. But he was actually reading it.

"It's about an architect," he stated. "He must be mind-blowingly awesome if you're too transfixed on his story."

"No, Howard Roark is mostly a recalcitrant bastard who breaks rules here and there, doesn't cooperate or collaborate and is stone-faced about most anything."

"But it's what you like about him," he supplied.

You nodded. "He’s a breath of fresh air in a world governed by stuffy archaic principles. The spring to a long, stagnant winter of conformity. I'm in love with him." Noticing the look of amusement on his face, you were quick to add, "What?"

"Nothing." His smile didn't waver though. "Are you an architect, too?"

"Too?" you repeated with inflection then tilted your head. "Ah, you're an architect, huh?"

"Guilty."

"Any projects of note?" you asked, tilting your head in wonder when he seemed flustered. "What is it?"

He shook his head slowly. "You're very straightforward."

At that, you grinned. "Should I take you out to dinner before I get that information?" You sipped leisurely at your smoothie, glad that you throw him off as much as he flusters you.

"You don't have to," he found himself answering anyway. "But I work for a firm, so they get most of the credit. We built that new hotel at Shinjuku."

"Eh? Didn't pin you for a baroque kind of guy."

"You know..." He was all ears now judging by how he leaned closer to you. He leveled his expression to yours then. "So, what kind of guy did you think I am?"

There it is, you thought, the smirk you've been waiting for. Without giving it much thought, you said, "The Howard Roark type, of course."

***

"You seriously don't remember, do you?"

It wasn't that you didn't. You simply had no idea how you got home, considering how you ended up all smashed after enjoying too many margaritas after your smoothie. You seriously just didn't know certain things. You didn't know what happened after you reached your limit. And out of all the things you know you should not have missed, you didn't know his name.

You were sitting on the kitchen counter, nursing a headache, trying to fill in every bit of information your friends were trying to leech out of you in your addled state. You've been expecting it - the great inquisition - especially after you returned in a state lesser than they've been expecting, unconscious, according to the collective stories of your roommates, when you told them you were just stepping out to get some reading done. And on a school night, no less. Very atypical of you indeed.

"What should I be remembering?" you responded to Ieiri. You weren't exactly fond of her worrisome nature although you knew she was just watching your back especially since she has been rather disapproving of your escapades with these guys you somewhat dated back then. You appreciated it, but it didn't mean you liked it.

"Oh, I don't know, Y/N. Strawberry blond? Tats? Drives a Jeep? Ring any bells?" she said, jogging your memory. "He came knocking at two in the morning, carrying you in his arms. I mean he was hot according to Satoru, but do you even know the guy?"

“Cherry blossom,” you absently corrected the color Ieiri mentioned.

“Huh?”

“Him, I remember.” You smiled at the thought, not hiding your delight from them. You were sure they were just annoyed that they weren't in on the action since Satoru, your other friend and roommate, who seem nonexistent recently, was the one who interacted with the man you met and supposedly brought you back to the house you rented with all of them. And Satoru doesn't know basic decorum to actually ask what the man’s name was. "Howard."

"Howard?" Suguru, another one of your friends who was in the literature department as you were, asked. "Howard Roark?" He knew the reference, obviously. You forced him to read the book before it even became one of your study materials.

You nodded enthusiastically. "He's an architect."

"He didn't look like a 'Howard,' apparently," Ieiri said.

"That name is from her favorite book," Suguru supplied, his dark eyes shifting to you as he tucked some stray strands of his long, raven locks which were currently tied in a half-up. "So your guy's an architect, too."

"That, but he isn't 'my guy' and I don't know what his name is."

He grinned then. "If you're openly calling him by the name of the character you claim to be in love with, I'm assuming..."

"No!" Ieiri gasped.

You laughed despite the action making your head hurt. You were still hungover after all, but you didn't mind, not when you knew you had a good night. Probably a great night to allow yourself to be hammered like you have been. You only ever drank to your fill when the company is great and when you were in a jovial mood.

"It's nothing like that. He just feels like spring time. Looks like it, too." You waved your hands in front of you for emphasis. Still, your expressions said otherwise.

You weren't in love with the man because you didn't believe in mushy things like love at first sight, but you knew you liked him, just that you weren't getting your hopes up cause there's a chance you might not see him ever again, assuming your meeting was something transient like the blossoms his hair made you think of. Even if he was a regular at Maki's, if your schedules didn't coincide with one another, it would not be easy to meet. You've been coming to the same bar for years and yet, you've only ever seen him that time. You never really know.

But then, you got your answer pretty quickly.

From: Satoru

See you at 7 tomorrow night. Same place.

That’s how Satoru's message read, sent late the previous night. You almost forgot about the agreement you’ve had with him to get unlimited barbecue after sleeping the rest of the day but you made it out just in time. It was something you did with all three of your friends as a way to bond with them individually.

You glanced at the clock on your phone, feeling the stares of the restaurant staff on you. Well, you’ve been there for more than an hour waiting for him. One hour and thirteen minutes to be precise. All you’ve ordered so far was a glass of lemonade and you were able to finish that in the first half hour, sitting on a table for two when evidently, you were alone. All your texts were ignored and your calls were always being redirected to voicemail.

“Where the fuck are you, Gojo Satoru?” you asked him in one of your messages, hissing low into your phone just so the other diners would not be offended by your words. You got a message another twenty minutes later, the sound of your phone almost making you jump from your seat. However, when you looked at it, it was from an unknown number.

You were about to check the message when one of the waitresses came to your table, pad and pen on the ready. She’s always the one who served you whenever you and your friends would go there for a dose of beef and pork fat, and she has always been nice to you.

“Not to be nosy but I think your friend isn’t coming.”

You nodded, grimacing. “Tell me about it.”

“The boss has been giving you the stink eye, too.”

Looking over the counter, you saw the elderly man really looking at you. He looked away when you met his eyes, muttering to himself. You knew how the owner could get, but you simply loved going there since their food is good and the service is just the same. You smiled ruefully at the woman before you. “I’ll have a sukiyaki set and warm sake, please. Thank you.”

“Would that be all?”

“Yeah.”

“Coming right up.” She flashed you a bright smile before disappearing into the back rooms.

You almost forgot the message you saw earlier, but then, your phone lit up again with that familiar tone. The new message was from the same number.

From: Unknown

How are you?

From: Unknown

I hope you’re okay.

You frowned, not having the slightest clue as to who could be texting you.

From: You

Who is this?

Your order came but there was no response from the mystery texter or Satoru. You felt pathetic looking at your phone every once in a while as you ate and drank. Normally, you wouldn’t even have given anybody, including your best friends, the time of the day, making you wait for longer than an hour without as much as a message. You don’t ever wait for people over the agreed meeting time. You hated it with passion. And you were already thinking of ways to make Satoru pay.

You were about to eat a mouthful of beef when you heard the chair across you being dragged back. Your eyes flicked to the direction, and to your utter shock, you almost dropped your chopsticks if it weren’t for the hand that reached out and held onto your hand, securing the utensils.

Once again, you were sitting on your usual spot at the bar, eyes clashing with those intense ones owned by the pink-haired guy who apparently drove a charcoal grey Jeep and reminded you of spring, the same one who drove you home the other night.

“Careful,” he said, his scent assaulting your senses.

A lump formed in your throat, making you unable to form proper words, so you settled for putting down the chopsticks. You folded your hands together on your lap, recovering from your consternation before you finally looked at him, unable to help it but grin. He looked different that day, more laid back in a white baseball cap mussing his candy-floss hair down, a loose-fitting shirt in the same hue and jeans. He looked so fresh, you felt the air around you cool down considerably.

“How did you…” you hesitated and shook you head. “Hello.”

He broke into that crooked smile. “Crazy how the moment you sent the message, I saw you through the glass walls while I drove past.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again, not quite knowing how to react to it when suddenly, the first part of his statement registered in your mind. “Wait, message?” You picked up your phone, showing him the messages. “This is you?”

He nodded slowly. “Looks like you’re doing great.” He regarded the bottle of sake on the table. “I had to get your number to check up on you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Y-yeah, I mean, no, not at all. Thank you by the way.” You chuckled, saving his number and naming him Spring God in your contacts. “I wasn’t really expecting you to bring me home.”

“I got your address from your driving license.” He grinned then. “I thought of taking you back to my place, but I didn’t know how that would sit with you.”

Who says chivalry was dead? “I’m sorry for acting crazy, if I did anyway." You chuckled. "I don't remember…and for having to bring me all the way to the house.”

“It’s fine. It was lovely meeting Satoru.”

At that, your face flushed red. You winced. “I’m sorry for whatever he did while I was out of it.” He could be crazy at times, and you wouldn't be surprised if he did something untoward.

He shook his head, letting out a slight chuckle. “He was very nice to me, don’t worry.” He furrowed his brows then. “I also got your name. Y/N. I don’t know if you forgot to tell me or you just didn’t trust me enough, but I’d like to think it’s the former since you didn’t seem to think twice about getting wasted with me like you did.”

You deliberately didn’t tell him your name, but he was making it sound a little nicer. It wasn’t really something you planned on doing again, meeting him, but somehow, he found you. You shook you head, coming clean. “If you put it that way, okay, but really, I thought it was better if you didn’t know.”

“Hmm. Why is that?”

You found it endearing that he tilted his head a bit to the side when he asked the question. Your lips curled upwards at the corner. “I just never thought I’d meet you again.”

“That would be unfortunate.”

You laughed awkwardly at his remark. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”

“I’m not offended.”

“Okay.”

You requested for another order of barbecue for him. He declined but you insisted. “Come on. My treat for your act of kindness.” You snickered. “Besides, my supposed date bailed.”

“Date?”

Sighing, you said, “Well, not really. Satoru. We agreed to meet here over an hour ago but he hasn’t been answering my messages or calls. Something probably came up.”

He eyed you thoughtfully. “If you don't mind me asking, is he your...?"

"My what?"

"Your boyfriend…maybe."

You chuckled at the thought, but then you realized you didn't even know his name. "I don't really tell strangers about things like that," you teased.

“Okay, but I thought we’re past being strangers.” He smirked then and you swore you felt your stomach flip.

“We’re in the getting-to-know-each-other phase,” you told him with a laugh, acceding. "Since I didn't tell you my name, I didn't expect you to tell me yours. Plus I didn't ask, so may I have yours?"

"Sukuna," he said. "Ryomen Sukuna."

"Su-ku-na," you repeated, liking the feel of the syllables as they rolled out of your tongue. Finally, the person you've gotten so fond of in just a short time had a name. You didn't know what his name meant but it seemed to match him well regardless of how arbitrary it was to his person. You couldn't think of any better name though. "I like your name. It's pretty." You smiled brightly at him then. "And no, Satoru is not my boyfriend."

Ryomen Sukuna was an absolute puzzle to you. How he could look so badass and pretty much intimidating with his strapping physique and inked skin – throw in the multiple piercings on his left ear which you were noticing or the first time – while also pulling off all these adorable little actuations was a quandary to you. Tall, solidly built men like him should not be reminding you of soft, cute things, but the moment he blinked in confusion, you knew you couldn't get enough of it.

"Nobody ever said that about my name, but thanks," he returned in that deep voice after a moment's pause. And was that a dusting of roses over his cheeks? The surprises you were getting from this man was endless. He really was such a breath of fresh air, so far from the usual stereotypes.

Your face seemed to be perpetually pulled into a smile whenever you were around him, and you didn't think you were doing a good job suppressing the urge to be beaming like an idiot around him. "So, anyway, what made you think that blue-eyed idiot is my boyfriend?" you asked, changing the topic.

"Well, he was a bit hostile at first when he took you from me, making me explain things but then started apologizing after. He told me you could be a handful when inebriated..." He let his voice trail off as if letting you chew on his words.

"You agree with him." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." Sukuna pretended to frown. "He also calls you 'his princess'."

You threw your head back, covering your eyes momentarily in embarrassment. "Now I wish you met Ieiri and Suguru instead," proceeding to explain that the nickname was something akin to what a father would call his precious daughter.

"He was rather intimidating, but I guess he's just looking out for you."

"He's still not off the hook for standing me up," you quipped, "But you finding him intimidating is funny."

"Why?"

You scoffed, gesturing over to him. "I think you can snap him in two if you wished, too."

"He was scary," Sukuna insisted.

"He's harmless...most of the time, but yeah, he’s rather protective. That’s one of my dads for you."

He laughed then. "There's nothing scarier than a fiercely protective friend…or a doting father. I can't muscle my way out of that for sure."

"Ah, then you'll find Ieiri scarier."

The night pretty much went well and ended on a good note. Sukuna did most of the talking for the rest of the night. You learned he was six years older than you at twenty nine, one of the head architects at the firm he worked for, has a love-hate relationship with his job cause he wants to draw portraits instead, was a delinquent when he was younger but got away with things cause he was a straight-A student, loved dogs so much that he cries when they die in movies, was closer to his mom, got his tattoos on a sudden whim, and was pretty much a sweet, charming genuine person which contrasted his appearance. What you see isn't what you get. That just isn't how it worked with him.

You loved it when he talked. It was rather entertaining as he had a way of telling stories which made you feel like you were actually there when it happened. Eventually, you forgot the reason why you were at the restaurant in the first place. It was as if you went there for the purpose of meeting Sukuna himself. Satoru was all but forgotten as you dissolved into carefree laughter and playful banters, and you felt at ease and more like yourself around him, pretty much like when you were with your three favorite people in the world.

“It’s not really that funny,” Sukuna told you, watching you laugh heartily at that one episode in his freshmen year when he made a mistake of going on a date with the wrong girl who happened to have the same name as his supposed date. You continued to laugh as if he didn’t say anything.

“It’s just crazy that both of them were there at the same time. I mean, what were the odds?”

He parked by the sidewalk in front of your house, killing the engine. “That’s the reason why I have never agreed to a single blind date ever again.” He pulled the key out of the ignition, glancing at the direction of your house. “We’re here.”

Your laughter died down when you followed the direction of his gaze. The lights were off except for the one lighting up the porch of the house you shared with your friends. You returned your gaze to him then. “Thanks for driving me home. Again.”

“I enjoyed your company. It’s the least I can do.”

You smiled warmly at him, reaching over to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek when he suddenly turned his head a fraction towards you. That minute change made your lips end up against his instead. He was surprised at first and remained immobile against you, but when you pulled away, he chased you back, connecting your mouths, his lips feeling soft and warm yet emitting that air of dominance as it coaxed yours to move in sync with his. You were kissing him back in no time, but you immediately caught yourself and withdrew, utterly flustered.

Your heart thudded heavily as he held you in his intense gaze, his tongue slowly running over his lower lip, making you even more mentally incapacitated. It made you want to just pull him back to you and covet those lips with yours again. You snapped out of it though. You already knew he was capable of hot-wiring and hijacking your brain.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you told him when you were able to form words again.

Sukuna looked at you from under his lashes, smiling slightly. “I’m not.”

Taken aback, you chuckled nervously. “No?”

He shook his head, reached over and ruffled your hair a bit. “Go inside. It’s late.” You nodded and disembarked from the car while he leaned on the steering wheel, watching you. You were already on the pavement, about to close the door, when he spoke again. “Can I come see you again?”

“Sure,” you said without thinking. “Good night, Sukuna.” Man, you just loved saying his name.

“Bye, Y/N. Good night.”

He drove away while you made your way towards your doorstep. Your fingers flew to your lips once you were standing on your porch, smiling to yourself at the realization of having kissed him. Shaking your head, you fished for the keys from your pocket and entered the house, not quite remembering how you got to your room, but you slept that night with pleasant dreams of running your fingers through pink locks of hair.

***

"I'm really sorry. Something came up and my phone died."

You acceded. It wasn’t as if Satoru did something so big. You went to the outdoor kiosks near the parking lot by the football grounds to catch up on some reading while Satoru ate and told you bits of his past few days, since he got held up at their family estate. Having such a traditional, high-ranking family in the country sure had its downsides, and you weren't about to make him even more agitated than he already was. He had it difficult, you knew that, and you weren’t about to be petty over him not coming to your supposed bonding time. He may be happy-go-lucky but you felt tension simmering just under the surface when you squeezed his hand in assurance.

Suguru and Ieiri followed shortly after Satoru fetched you from class, also surprised to see him there. "So, you finally decided to show up," the former said.

"Don't ask," Satoru said.

"Wasn't planning to," Suguru scoffed, his attention shifting to you. “What are you working on anyway?” he asked, flipping the file you were reading haphazardly to peer through the contents.

“I’m making an analysis report on ‘The Romantic Manifesto’.” you answered, looking up from the notes you were writing when your eyes suddenly strayed over his shoulder. You almost did a double-take, glancing at Suguru before returning your line of vision at the spot beyond where he sat.

“It’s due…” your voice trailed off when you realized just what, or rather who, you were looking at. You weren’t so sure whether what you were seeing was real or a mirage, a very familiar, specific and detailed one, but then, you figured it was the former when the person smirked and cocked his head to the side, beckoning you over to where he leaned against his grey Jeep as he raised a cup of what looked like cherry blossom tea.

Suguru arched a brow at you, looking behind him but not really noticing the object of your distraction. “Hey, you okay?”

Ieiri followed the direction of your gaze and nudged you when she saw who you were looking at. "Is that your Howard? Damn, girl. He’s sizzling."

You nodded, but at that same moment, you rose from the table without any explanation, your feet immediately leading you towards the outdoor carpark. When you were within earshot, you said, “What are you doing here?”

You stopped a few feet from him, glancing behind you to where the others had already turned their heads to follow the path you took, flashing you shit-eating grins. It wouldn’t surprise you anymore if they had pieced together who the person was before you. They claimed to be your ‘parents’ but acted like children at times.

“I brought you tea.” Sukuna walked towards you, standing so close that you forgot how to breathe for a few seconds as you inhaled his scent and took in his appearance, looking immaculate in a plain white shirt and faded jeans, but your brain only seemed to register those lips and the memory of how they felt against yours.

You shook your head, snapping out of your trance, mentally cursing at yourself. “Hi.” You exhaled loudly, trying hard not to smile like an idiot while you absently twirled your hair on your finger, suddenly seeing the world through a pinkish filter. "How do you keep finding me?"

Sukuna's smile dropped. “Did I come at an inconvenient time?” he asked gently, trying hard not to sound miffed, but he obviously was taken aback by your words.

“No.” You shook your head, placing a hand over your forehead. You finally smiled at him, letting out a choked snicker. “No, Sukuna. It’s good to see you. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to see you here. And you didn't really tell me you were coming.”

He grinned at you then but he still appeared unsure, placing a hand behind his neck. “Right.”

You flashed him a helpless look. “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m just really surprised.”

“Hmm." He moved closer to you, wrapping your hand around the transparent disposable cup. His proximity was affecting you in ways you couldn't admit out loud. "Are you happy to see me, too?"

"Too? So, you're happy to see me?"

"Always."

That's it. You're done for. Trying to avoid his intense gaze and escaping his scrutiny, you glanced over your shoulder to find everyone on your table observing you blatantly. Satoru raised a thumb at you while Ieiri was giggling with Suguru.

"Are those your friends?" Sukuna commented, his minty breath fanning against the side of your face which made you turn a little too quickly to face him again only to be confronted by his face leaning towards yours, mere centimeters away.

“Y-yeah.” You leaned a bit backwards but he moved forward. “That they are.” You stepped backwards again, nearly faltering on your feet, but you immediately gained your balance when he grabbed you by the arm, steadying you.

"Are you alright?" Sukuna asked, looking at you with concern written all over his face which morphed into wonder when you said, "Yeah, you're just overwhelming."

"Huh?"

"I can't think properly when I'm around you," you stated casually, your expressions not giving anything away as per usual. You arched a brow at him when he did the same. "You hot-wire my brain."

"I know what you mean." He smirked despite his confusion. "Is that good or bad?"

You eyed him thoughtfully, biting on your lower lip. "Good for you, bad for me. You can probably tell me to eat dirt and I'd do it in a heartbeat."

He chuckled, looking at you tenderly. "You're too honest."

"To a fault," you agreed, "Suguru tells me all the time. Wanna meet them?"

He ruffled your hair. "Sure."

***

While you weren't exactly expecting to see Sukuna again after the night you met, he became of constant presence around you. You have gone out with him several times over the course of two months. He was a busy person and you also had your priorities, but he always makes you feel special whenever you two would be out and about, behaving like such a gentleman opening and closing doors for you, naturally shifting closer to traffic while you walked, bringing an extra jacket in case you felt cold or a larger umbrella so you don't get wet, bringing you your favorite tea whenever he could.

He picked you up from school for lunch twice, making the most of the hour, and one time, you brought him lunch at work when he suddenly canceled on you, saying he was swamped with work. He sounded really upset so you decided to go to him instead. You brought Suguru with you as a buffer, but Sukuna's colleagues still teased him. He was different in the office – gruff and strict which fitted him more – but he still beamed at you happily when you brought him food, not caring who saw.

Apart from the brief phone calls, you two never really texted. It wasn't really your thing and he didn't like it either, so it could go days on end without you saying anything to each other, but when you do get a chance to speak, it would always be like picking up on where you've left off. He has only ever sent you two messages. One to remind you to take good care of yourself because he was going to be away for a while and another one a week later asking if you wanted to go out with him that coming Friday night.

"Your timing's off," you told him over the phone. You really wanted to say yes, but, "Ieiri, the boys and I are going out that night. Gang tradition."

"Some other time then?"

"Sure."

You hung up after a few more exchanges of words, getting started on reading some notes when Ieiri entered the kitchen. "Was that Howard?"

"Yeah. He's inviting me to go out on Friday, but I already said yes to clubbing with you guys."

She grinned cheekily, wrapping an arm around you as she poked you on the cheek. At times, it feels like Satoru was rubbing off on her. "Are you sure you don't want to ditch us for the hot architect?"

"Hot architect –" You snickered. "Did you just say that?"

"I was supposed to say 'sugar daddy,' literally and figuratively. Sugar and his cotton candy hair. Get it?"

You narrowed your eyes at her, shaking your head. It was supposed to be amusing, but when Ieiri says it, it just sounds weird. "Can I read in peace now?"

She left you alone, but laughed at your expense.

Friday couldn't have rolled around fast enough and you headed out with your friends at the club owned by a friend of yours, prepared to party in a pair of tight-fitting jeans, a crop top and your hair hanging about in wavy layers. You were already expecting the place to be cramped as hell given the day of the week so much so that Suguru had to hold onto you tightly so as not to lose you when you entered until you found the area you had reserved for the night. It was for good measure too since the place was drenched in purple, blue and green laser lights which were disorienting at first. And so, your night began as such.

You were in the middle of dancing, only pausing when you had to down your nth shot for the night when your eyes suddenly strayed to the bar area at the elevated part of the club adjacent to the the leather seats. You looked away but returned your gaze towards said direction when you realized this very familiar guy was looking at you. He was watching you as you danced and let loose, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

You craned your neck, looking back and thinking the guy looked a lot like Sukuna, but then he couldn’t be. He was engaged elsewhere, still you continued to ogle him until you were pretty sure it wasn’t the same person. But the longer you looked, the more it was being proven to you that it was him.

That lopsided smile drew itself across his lips, seeing as how you were doubting yourself about his identity. There was no mistaking that look on his face, the way his dark eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he smiled even if the action didn't belong there.

“Sukuna?” you mouthed his name and he nodded, motioning for you to come over with his head. It had been a solid ten days since you last saw him, and for some reason, your heart raced at the thought of seeing him there.

Without saying a word to the people you were with, you squeezed yourself through the crowd, your feet carrying to the upstairs bar, to Sukuna. It took you a while to traverse the space between you, and when you finally stood before him, all you could do was smile up at him, taking in the soft look about him as he regarded you which were at odds to those fiery eyes that had the capability to turn into bright orbs of light when he beamed down at you.

“Hello, Y/N. Once again, fate has brought you to me,” he said rather dramatically, a smirk drawing itself across his pretty mouth.

Laughter escaped your throat, unable to say anything when you realized that you actually missed him, missed looking at him. Unable to help it, you stood on your toes and reached out to touch his hair, the action surprising the both of you. He eyed you, his expressions that of a half-smile and a look of confusion while you retracted your hands as quickly as you felt his soft locks with your fingertips, wincing at the realization of what you were doing.

At that, he laughed heartily, stealing your hand and pressing it over the side of his head. “Go ahead. I don’t mind you touching me,” he told you, staring into your eyes that you felt like all the air in the room was gone.

You blinked at him, processing what he said and joined in his mirth. “You're here!” You shook your head when it dawned to you that you were stating the obvious. “I’m sorry. How are you, Sukuna?”

“Pink?” he offered and chuckled at his own joke which made your face heat up. “Kidding. I’m great. I missed you these past days. How are you?”

“You did?” You felt your insides melting at his statement, made worse when he nodded to confirm it. “I’m fine. Great. Where have you disappeared to anyway?”

He snickered a your question. “Madrid.”

Your jaw dropped. “As in Spain?”

He nodded. “Had to do something there.”

“Uh-huh.” His words were rather obscure, but you didn’t want to encroach on his private life.

“What are the odds that we’re at the same club?”

“The owner is a friend,” you answered, smiling awkwardly as you glanced at the direction of your friends on the dance floor. You saw all of them looking at you. Suguru winked at you, giving you the thumbs up, making you laugh at his silliness.

“The gang’s all here, I see.”

“What?” You faced Sukuna, finding him leaning close beside you against the metal balustrade. Just then, a waiter passed by holding a whole tray of shots, and before you could duck, he grabbed you by the waist so that you were leaning against him with no quantifiable space between your bodies. Your eyes widened in shock and you froze, your thoughts clouded by the familiar smell of rain in a bamboo forest during Maytime. “T-thanks…”

He hummed in response to your gratitude, but he didn’t let you go. “I didn’t know you enjoyed places like this, too.”

“Why is that?” you asked, feigning ignorance to how close you two were.

"I never pinned you for the party animal type. I kinda developed a fondness for that quiet, nerdy girl sitting at the corner of the pub."

"Not exactly. I prefer Maki's place to be honest but coming here once in a while doesn't hurt. Especially with those three." You frowned slightly at him then as you thought of something. “So, why didn’t you approach me?” You motioned towards the dancefloor. “I'm sure the three-headed monster won't mind if you joined us. You alone?”

“Yes, sweetheart, but aren't you supposed to be hanging out with them?" You grabbed his arm before he could refuse you and started leading him towards where the others were.

However, he had other plans in mind. Again, he hooked an arm around your waist until your back was leaning against him. You eyed him sideways, startled by his actions, but unable to counteract it anyway as you’re just stunned speechless all the while. “You can go back to them, Y/N, but I don’t think I should go with you.”

You turned around, gently easing away from his hold. “Why not? They already know you, and they like you.”

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a party pooper.” He leaned towards you, tilting his head to the side while his lower lip slightly jutted out.

"What are you talking about?” You rolled your eyes at him then snickered.

He eyed you seriously then. “Just in case this is a friends-only affair?”

“Satoru already ruined that by bringing his girls into the mix.” You laughed at him when you saw him hesitate. “Come on, Sukuna. Join us. For me?” You showed him your best impression of puppy-dog eyes. “Pretty please?”

When you saw that he wasn’t budging, you changed your argument. “Fine. Dance with me then.” You didn’t give him any time to contradict you as you took him by the hand and dragged him to the dancefloor.

He was just standing still, looking uncomfortable as you started to groove to the beat, so you took his arms and started moving them until he was moving on his own, finally breaking into that smile. He looked too awkward that you wanted to laugh but decided against it, simply raising your hands and feeling the music.

“Aren’t you having fun?” you asked him as you were bobbing your head to the bass.

“I am!” he answered above the music.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun. Are you shy?” You chuckled openly at that.

“No.”

“You don’t dance?”

“I can dance.”

You giggled. “Then show me what you’ve got!”

Without a warning, he started moving in sync with you, taking your hands in his and finally letting loose in such a graceful manner as you both got into the beat and started waving and swaying against one another, his hands slowly running at your sides in sensual rhythms that got you reeling in excitement. You almost forgot that you were with other people as you danced with him. It was fun and it felt good to be that carefree, not minding your friends, drinks flowing in nonstop.

Soon, the group you’ve left joined you and Sukuna. They all greeted him excitedly while the boys exchanged high-fives with him as they were dancing. Satoru and the two girls who were with him also joined in and somewhere along that, Suguru offered everyone cigarettes, and you gladly took one when you saw Sukuna taking one as well. You didn’t really smoke on a regular basis but you didn’t exactly shy away from the so-called cancer sticks.

After taking another shot, you pulled Sukuna out of the dancefloor, hollering at the others as you raised your cigarette, signaling where you were going in case they wanted to come with. You made your way to the smoking area at the veranda situated at the back of the building with the older male in tow. You were pretty much buzzed, calming down from the high you had while dancing, grinning wide as the cool night air met you, making your lungs expand as you breathed in.

Sukuna watched you as he took his place against the banister, following him shortly as you produced a lighter from your pocket, something that you always carried just in case.

“You smoke?” he asked, toying with his own battered stick, twirling it around his long fingers.

“Sometimes,” you admitted, watching his reaction. “And you?”

“Not really.”

“You took one anyway.” You wedged the item in question between your lips and raised the lighter, but before you could light it, it was pulled out from your mouth and the next thing you knew, Sukuna was kissing you, his lips pressed against yours as he pulled you closer by the hips which he seemed to have a fixation for since you came up to him. It was a soft yet urgent kiss that cajoled you to respond, and not long after, your lips were submissive clouds moving to the will of the wind that was his luscious mouth.

Like the first time you felt his lips against yours, electricity ran through your body as if he was touching you elsewhere apart from your mouth. It was driving you off the edge of sanity, and you knew you’d probably jump off a cliff for the male. He grinned at your dazed state when your eyes met after he finally pulled away, showing you the cigarette that was supposed to be between your lips before he unceremoniously laid claim to them.

“You’re going to ruin your lips by smoking. I’m keeping this,” he told you.

You were too mesmerized with the tingling feeling in your mouth while your eyes stayed glued to his as you blinked slowly, your mind and heart racing at a thousand miles per second. “W-why would you do that?” you stammered, feeling your throat go so dry that you had to drag the words out.

“Apart from the fact that it’s terribly unhealthy, it ruins your sense of smell and taste.” He waved the cigarette in front of you before shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. “Scientific fact.”

You couldn’t quite process what he was saying. You were asking why he kissed you, but he misunderstood. “Are you going to taser me with your lips every single time I’m about to smoke?”

“Taser…” He chuckled and narrowed his eyes at you. “I might just if it means these dangerous things don’t touch your pretty mouth.”

“What the –” You didn’t know if you would be scandalized by what he said or if you were going to laugh. The latter won and you tittered. “That’s a good one.”

“I mean it, Y/N.”

Boldness engulfed your whole thought process as you stepped closer to him, looking straight into his eyes. “And if I insist on it? Placing dangerous things in my pretty mouth? What are you going to do then?”

He, too, leaned forward, eyes flicking to your lips. “Then I guess I just have to keep your mouth too busy to even think about smoking again,” he whispered to you, his breath hitting your lips.

You smirked at him then. “I guess I just have to make sure you aren’t around if I do feel like smoking.”

He pouted. You burst out laughing.

You reached over and pinched both of his cheeks. “You’re so adorable.”

Sukuna swatted your hands away, but smiled nonetheless. "You're the only one who says I'm adorable."

"You are. You just don't know it."

“Okay then. If you say so.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear then, your skin tingling where he touched you. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Not really.”

“Good. I wanna do something for you.”

You eyed him questioningly. “Hmm. What?”

“That’s a surprise.”

It was already around two in the morning when everyone had the unanimous decision to leave the club which was still packed. You, too, were getting tired especially after Ieiri ended up hammered and Satoru was emptying his guts through his mouth. Suguru was a bit drunk, too, but he was trying his best to help you take care of them. Sukuna had been very nice all night, even helping you load Satoru and Ieiri into the backseat of Suguru’s car.

“Would you like me to drive you home?” he asked you after shutting the door to the backseat.

“No, I’m gonna be fine. Besides, I can’t just leave Suguru to deal with them both.” You motioned to his Jeep. “You should go ahead, too.”

Sukuna grimaced as he nodded. “I guess that would be for the best. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. You take good care now.”

“You, too, sweetheart.” He stepped forward and pulled you against him, hugging you, enveloping you in his warmth and that scent you loved profusely. “It’s really great seeing you tonight.”

You returned the gesture, smiling up at him as you tried to compose yourself. “It’s great seeing you, too.” You stood on your toes and pecked him on the cheek before giving him a gentle shove towards the car. “See you, Sukuna.”

He waved at you then boarded the car. You watched as it disappeared down the street before turning away to enter the club to get Suguru who was left to settle the bills. You found him seated on one of the couches, finding your way easily since the crowd thinned a bit.

“You okay, dude?” you asked when you reached him. He was pale and he looked like he was going to throw up anytime. “Do you need to go to the restroom?”

He shook his head. “Just get me out of here.”

You chuckled, leading him faster out of the club. You sat him down on passenger side and soothed his back, asking after him again as you started the engine. He said he was fine, laughing when he caught a glimpse of the two who were already passed out on the backseat with Satoru lying on Ieiri’s lap while her head was lolling limply to the side.

The drive was rather short without much cars on the road, but Suguru was still able to squeeze in a conversation, and of all the topics he could broach, it had to be about Sukuna.

“I thought Sukuna will be driving you home,” he began, glancing at you.

“He offered, but I can’t just leave you.”

“That would have been okay.” He glanced at the rearview mirror then, checking on the two, you could only guess. He could be such a mother hen at times. “I think he’s cool.”

“Mhmm.”

“And he’s really good-looking,” Suguru threw in with a chuckle. “Just date already.”

You chuckled. “Why don’t you date him instead?”

“Don’t you want to try it out with him?”

“He hasn’t even asked me to date him.”

“Yeah, but he already kissed you –”

“How did you know about that?” you demanded, mortified. Your cheeks were heating up again at the memory of it.

“Well, you’re in a public place.” He laughed. “So, it’s bound to end in dating anyway.”

“Not necessarily.” You turned sideways to look at him. “He’s older after all, not that I see the age gap as a problem. But you know, he might just be passing time.”

“He obviously likes you. If you date him, it’s a win-win situation. You like him, too, you just don’t know it.”

You scoffed. “How can you say that?”

He blew a raspberry. Typical Suguru behavior. “You can be yourself around him. You’re all smiley face around him, too. I saw you. You can’t lie to me.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. You look your best that way. And don’t ever think you are just a pastime. I’ll kill him if he treats you as such.” He smiled knowingly at you. “Besides, you should date properly. Enough with your flings with stupid boys in campus.”

“Okay, dad.” You sighed, trying to contain your excitement. “I do like him though. He’s so nice to me.”

Suguru reached over patting you on the shoulder. “Ah! My daughter is a grown-woman.”

You swatted at his hand, laughing at his antics.

-end of part 1-

If you're curious who Howard Roark is, he's one of my fave literary characters from Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead." He's excellently made. That's it.

Can architect!sukuna please call me "sweetheart," too?

If you want to be included in the tag list, please DM me :) I'll be posting every week (or I'll try to anyway). Someone remind me to post the next chapters please?

Additional notes are available in the masterlist, particularly on the reasons why I wrote some things the way I did. I don't know what I'm trying to prove there, but haha!

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES FULLY CREDITED TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

328 notes · View notes

thearchivist-theprime · 3 years

Text

Xu Xingyuan from Granting You A Dreamlike Life is the best fictional portrayal of Autism I’ve ever fucking seen. And I think it’s because it speaks to the symptoms I myself experience:

Exhibit A

Of course the eye contact. Every character with Autism has gotta be bad at eye contact and you know what??? Same. Fuck eye contact.

Exhibit B

I am a special interest enthusiast. I love to see it 💖

Exhibit C

She repeated “I will safeguard it” twice very close to each other and DAMN DOESN’T THAT HIT CLOSE TO HOME?? I love that and love her

Exhibit D

My introverted, sensory input loving self felt this all the way down to my bones. Parties suck. Cats are good. Need I say more? XD

Exhibit E

Honestly this might be me stretching, but watching this scene I couldn’t help but be distracted by how much she was blinking! Is the sun in her eyes?? But Lin Qikai isn’t blinking nearly as much!

My light-sensitive self really needs to remember to wear sunglasses more often 😎

Exhibit E

Honestly I spent many years emotionally and developmentally behind my peers. It’s something I’m massively insecure about, then and now, but it’s handled so tastefully here? Like her clothes are “cuter” than the other high class women here and the teddy bear, but she is always treated like an adult. And like an adult who’s romantic feelings are to be taken seriously.

Exhibit G

I FELT this. I majored and will major in Anthropology. “The study of mankind”. We both are strangers in our own cultures, to the billions of unspoken rules that make up everyday interaction. So when we’re on the outside looking in, it can be amazing what you see and hear.

The only time I’ve been this happy to see how someone’s Autism was shown was when I saw the Temple Grandin movie. Xingyuan being Autistic was portrayed so well the only comparison I have is a movie documentary of a real person!

To find this character, when I’m so used to the “we know they are but won’t say it” quasi-representation of Spencer Reid, the offensive stereotypes of Sheldon Cooper, the………….everything in that Sia movie, well let’s just say it’s one factor that made me very forgiving of the show’s flaws.

In conclusion, Xu Xingyuan is very, VERY important to me. And you can find fantastic representation in the most unexpected of places!

#granting you a dreamlike life #xu xingyuan

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artsbysakurachan · 3 years

Text

A Kuro fan-theory in the Year of Our Lord 2021 because I am always late to the damn party!

I only caught up on Kuroshitsuji’s latest chapters in the last few months and this obviousness just smacked me in the face so I’m posting about it. The speculation about who shot Soma. Most have ruled out O!Ciel being the shooter because of his reaction when he and Sebastian find Agni dead and Soma seriously messed up. He actually freaking cries which is not something the ‘Phantom Menace’ does very often (*bows* yes, thank you I did come up with that on my own, you’re welcome XD).

But, O!Ciel is a cold-ass sunova-bitch who has killed people he likes before now, Doll, for example, so that’s not enough for me to rule him out. Also, who killed Agni? Remember that Agni was killed while protecting Soma, which is when he’s at his strongest because he enters Samadhi when he’s defending his “God.” So I seriously doubt any human could have taken out Agni in that state. That leaves us with two non-human options because only two species of non-human have ever been introduced in the series. Demons and Grim Reapers.

That narrows our options down to Sebastian (the only demon we KNOW is around) or a reaper. We can narrow that down further by looking at reapers who are sticklers for the rules (not interfering with human lives/deaths) and those who like to bend those rules (I’m looking at you Grell Sutcliffe >_>). Then there is the Undertaker who didn’t just bend the rules, he smashed them to bits with a freaking sledgehammer, jumped up and down on them just to be sure and torched whatever was left.

I’m ruling out Grell because frankly, she has no motive and in fact, has a pretty good motivation stop whoever is behind the zombie apocalypse. Why? Because she freaking LOVES death and her job, that’s her motivation. What Undertaker and the Blue Oyster Cult are up to threatens to undermine the whole concept of death entirely and I’m fairly sure that Grell would not be down for that At. All. So, back to the heresy of suggesting O!Ciel shot Soma and Sebastian killed Agni. Relax I don’t think that’s what happened but I wanted to walk through the possibility to show why people shouldn’t rule it out just based on Ciel’s emo arse. So what did rule out O!Ciel and Sebastian for me?

Soma was shot by someone with a Winchester .45 Revolver. We’ve only ever seen O!Ciel use a revolver once! When he pulled it out from under his pillow and put it to Sebastian’s head because he was woken up suddenly.

Every single other time that O!Ciel has a gun it’s a snub-nosed semi-automatic pistol, the same one he carries everywhere in a shoulder holster. The sole exception was the one time he went hunting where he carried a hunting rifle which isn’t relevent because we can clearly see that Soma wasn’t shot with a hunting rifle.

Side note: If there’s one thing I’ve learned today it’s that I know a lot more about guns than I thought I did.

But he could have taken the revolver to kill Soma right? Sure, but why bother when he has a better, more reliable and more easily concealed gun with him all the time anyway? But more importantly, when you’re a survivor with PTSD who keeps weapons within easy reach of where you’re most vulnerable - the place where you sleep - you DON’T move them. I cannot stress this enough. You. Do. Not. Move. Your. Weapons. Because you want the security of knowing that the thing you need to protect your life is exactly where it needs to be at all times. And I would know because I do this myself. I’m an abuse survivor with an ex who can be somewhat unhinged and a woman living alone in a place where I don’t know that many people so not taking precautions would be stupid and potentially fatal. I have weapons in strategic places around my house and in my handbag. Not guns, you can’t just go out and get a gun in my country which is probably a good thing, but the same logic applies. The weapon by my bed stays by my bed, the one in my handbag stays in my handbag and the others stay where they are placed so I always know where they are. If you know someone in law enforcement or the military ask them about this yourself because you’ll probably find they do the same thing. There’s also the fact that O!Ciel and Sebastian had been staying at the town house for most of this segment of the story. While there is likely a different gun under O!Ciel’s pillow in the townhouse, it’s one we haven’t seen so it’s unlikely that Yana would just pull that gun out of thin air because she likes dropping hints. Her entire brand at this point is basically “this is a big game of iSpy.”

So, here is what I think did happen. I think R!Ciel took the gun from under O!Ciel’s pillow back at the Manor and used it to frame his twin because he’s a dick. R!Ciel fits all the requirements for the shooter. He’s shorter than Soma and he’s someone Soma would recognise, or rather mistake for O!Ciel. I’d bet money that R!Ciel also took one of O!Ciel’s spare eye-patches at the same time he took the revolver from his bedroom. Then there’s the fact that when O!Ciel and Sebastian find Soma locked in with Agni’s dead body still blocking the door, Soma straight up clocks Ciel in the face! How can it be more obvious?? Soma believes Ciel did it and he believes that because R!Ciel went out of his way to make him believe it. I suspect he may even have left Soma alive so that he would point the finger at O!Ciel.

So the next question is who killed Agni? I originally thought Undertaker but since when does Undy don a hooded robe and go around stabbing people when he’s super attached to that death scythe and his gimp outfit?

Seriously though, there is one clue and that’s height.

Trivia time: According to Yana, the official unit of measurement in Kuro is 1 Sebastian...

SERIOUSLY??? WTFAWREOIUJGEOGNOGAERKHBG!!!

*sigh*

Sebastian is 6′1 and Agni is roughly half a head taller than Sebastian, so 1 and 1/16th Sebastians? (Fuck you Yana XD). The person who kills Agni is nearly as tall as he is, around Sebastian’s height or possibly a bit taller. That rules out Undertaker because...well...sorry Undy fans but he’s a short-ass at around 5′8-5′9 which means he only comes up to Sebastian’s chin. Also rules out Grell who is even shorter at 5′7. It rules out most of the main characters who are all shorter than Sebastian. And that’s it, I’m stuck at this point, I don’t know who it could be and I got nothing. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT! XD

#fan theory #kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #phantomhive twins #agni black butler #prince soma #who killed agni #earl phantomhive #yana toboso #guns guns and more guns #undertaker black butler #grell sutcliff

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theplushmaker · 3 years

Note

Sonic Headcanon please

Ok, here it is! another 40 headconnons! hope you enjoy!

• Sonic has a lot of family, his first being his biological family Queen Aleena, Sonia, and Manic, his second family (aka adopted family) is Jules The Hedgehog, Bernadette The Hedgehog, and Charles The Hedgehog, (also Scourge is Bernadette and Jules' biological son, making Sonic and him brothers) and last but not least, Longclaw, she was Sonics last guardian before Eggman took over the world completely, oh! And Tails is still Sonic's little brother

• Sonic knows sign language and he considers it his first language

• Sonic likes to view himself as the oldest, even though Scourge is older by ten seconds and Shadow is physically 16 (we are not counting the 50 years he was frozen in time)

• Given the fact that Sonic basically has three moms, he's come up with a way to distinguish them when he calls, he calls Aleena - momma, Bernadette - mom, and Longclaw - ma, he refuses to call any of them "mother" saying "it's too fancy for me"

• Whenever Sonic takes on a new form, they don't just disappear. They instead end up living inside Sonic's mind until he calls them to help (I can make another post explaining this a bit more if anyone wants it)

• Sonic didn't meet Tails until he was eight, which would make Tails 1 at the time (I have a complete timeline in my head, I just need to write it out XD)

• Sonic knows how to play the guitar and would take song requests from Tails. He'll sometimes write songs for Tails as well

• Sonic can sense spirits

• During the Phantom War, when Sonic was captured, he was chained to the wall (think of snatcher from ahit) with his legs locked up (similar to the cuffs Elsa from frozen had, except both legs are in one cuff)

• During Sonic's capture, Infinite would make Sonic feel as though he lost his arms/legs/hands with the phantom ruby's power, he'd also take advantage of Sonic's Aquaphobia by making him think that he was in the middle of the ocean during a storm

• Sonic doesn't want to worry anyone about what happened in the Death Egg, so he's bottling it all up, he thinks he's sneaky, but everybody knows somethings wrong

• Sonic still has Chip's necklace/bracelet in his room on a pillow. He makes sure no dust settles on it

• Sonic may be optimistic and not take things seriously, but there are times, rare as they are, when he sits down, skips all the jokes, and be serious

• Sonic's been teaching Silver sign language. He finds it funny how Silver lights up whenever he learns a new sign

• When Sonic was rescued, he was malnourished, he had lots of injuries, and most of his muscles atrophied. He spent the first few days bedridden and two months in a wheelchair and, after some physical therapy, he upgraded to crutches. He had to stay in the med bay area so the nurses could keep a better eye on him, but either way, he didn't want anyone to see him like that, and those who did don't bring it up, for his sake

• After the Phantom War, Sonic preferred to be outside more often than before. Tails stayed by his side, working on one of his smaller projects

• Sonic considers Mighty, Ray, and Knuckles as his brothers

• Sonic knows how to use a hoverboard thanks to Manic

• Sonic kicks in his sleep if he doesn't run around when he's awake, once he accidentally woke up Tails by breaking the lamp beside his bed, so now whenever Tails knows he didn't run around that much, he moves everything away from Sonic's bed before he goes to sleep

• Sonic and Tails are roommates

• Whenever there's a thunderstorm, Sonic lets Tails sleep with him

• When Tails was younger, Sonic would read him bedtime stories, sometimes even play a few lullabies with his guitar

• Sonic gave up his childhood when he was separated from Longclaw, having to learn to take care of himself, having to fight at the age of 5, lead an army with Sonia, Manic, and Sally a year later, and ending a war at 8, along with taking care of, and raising a 1-year-old two-tailed fox, Sonic didn't have much time to not worry about what would happen next (even though he never shows it)

• Sonic learned to be positive no matter what because not only did everyone around him need the positive energy, but it was also his way of telling a crumbling world under the rule of Eggman that, no matter what he did, he will never stop fighting, and he wasn't going to be knocked down by hopelessness

• Sonic is viewed as a symbol of hope by many (^)

• Sonic loves to tell stories of his adventures to children. It was also one of the things he looked forward to during the first war (aka The Robian War)

• Sonic's quills are sharp enough to pierce metal

• Sonic is an adrenaline junkie

• When Sonic was showing Knuckles around the city for the first time, he recorded the experience. Sonic will never forget the look of curiosity and wonder on Knuckles' face

• Sonic loves to record all sorts of moments, but his favorites by far are the first-timers, like bringing Tails to his first amusement park, or secretly recording Shadow trying chili dogs for the first time, or even Silver's first time seeing rain!

• Sonic doesn't remember the events of 06

• Sonic doesn't do it as often as he used to when he was younger but he does sometimes throw concerts with his siblings

• While raising Tails, Sonic hired Vector (who would be 13 at the time) to find info on Tails parents, Sonic doesn't hear back from him until a year later (Sonic thought he ran off with the money) where he's told that Tails' dad is nothing but scrap metal and his mom was killed during the Robian War, he was also told that Tails name was Miles Prower, Sonic thanked him and paid him extra for his troubles

• During the Robian War, after Sonic was on his own, he didn't meet a lot of hedgehogs, so whenever he had a health problem, he didn't go to the doctor (mostly because the doctor at the hideout didn't know how to take care of hedgehogs and would get frustrated with Sonic) instead he would learn to take care of his health by himself, this has lead to poor decision making

• Growing up wasn't easy, especially when the people around you are afraid of getting hurt by your quills, so when Sonic had his quills bent and pushed into his back during a fight, he couldn't ask someone to help remove them, so he would simply find a waterfall, sit under it and let the water dislodge the quills, afterward he'd go home and shower

• Sonic knows how to make flower crowns thanks to Cream

• Sonic likes to visit the Chao Garden, he also has a chao he calls Indigo

• During a new years party when Sonic was 9, he introduced Mighty and Ray to Vector who, then introduced them to Espio and Charmy. Sonic took lots of pictures of them and gave copies to Vector (Charmy was only a few months old while Tails was 2, and Ray would be 5 when this happened)

• Sonic didn't know how smart Tails was until he made a TV out of paperclips at the age of 5

• once, when Sonic was 12, Sonia tried to get him to comb his quills to be more organized. Sonic learned the hard way by having her drag him by his shoes back inside the castle, but not without dragging Manic down with him since he was laughing while Sonia chased Sonic

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slightlycrunchy · 3 years

Note

"don't freak out" with de-aged Dadzawa to Shinsou

I think I took this in a different direction dear...but I hope you like it XD

WC 1900~, rated T, de-aged aizawa, references to child abuse and implied child abuse, happy ending, dadzawa&shinson

There’s a new little boy today.

Hitoshi stares from behind Miss Tanaka’s legs, gripping at her dark blue skirts tightly. He knows she won’t like this, but for now she’s occupied with welcoming the new kid and Hitoshi will take advantage of it for as long as possible.

The boy is dark; dark eyes and dark hair, dark lashes that fan out across his cheeks. Pale skin. It’s been a while since a new boy has come to the orphanage, and this one looks to be about his age. Hitoshi just turned six this year.

“What’s your name, dear?” Miss Tanaka asks in her sickly-sweet tone, the one she uses with certain people that don’t include Hitoshi. It won’t last long. She really likes to yell an awful lot. “What did your parents call you?”

“Shouta,” the boy says immediately. Hitoshi blinks. The boy doesn’t seem shy, unlike most new orphans. Hitoshi is still shy, and he’s been here as long as he can remember.

“Found him in an alley, poor thing,” the social worker says. Hitoshi can’t remember her name. He startles when the boy—Shouta—speaks again.

“I don’t belong here. I have a home—”

“Yes, yes dearie, that’s what they all say,” Miss Tanaka dismisses. Hitoshi looks up at her when he feels her gaze find him, and he fights his natural instinct to cower. Her eyes go cold when she sees the wrinkles his fists have left in her skirt. “Hitoshi, dear,” she grits out between clenched teeth, “why don’t you take Shouta with you upstairs? Show him the boy’s room, yes?”

It’s phrased as a question but Hitoshi knows it isn’t a request. He nods frantically, immediately grabbing one of Shouta’s small wrists in his clammy hand. “Come on, this way.” He can do this. He can be good, useful. They won’t hurt him if they can use him, he’s sure of it.

The boy doesn’t come willingly and yet Hitoshi perseveres, stomping his small socked feet up two flights of stairs to the younger boy’s room; the girls have their own and the older boys as well, across the hall. Every step brings more struggle from the boy behind him but Hitoshi won’t stop, can’t stop when this is him being good. He has to be good.

“Hey kid, stop—”

“No, we have to listen. You’re new here, but I’m telling you, ya’ have to listen or you’ll get in trouble—”

“Kid, stop.”

“My name is Hitoshi.”

“Hitoshi, it’s okay. Just—calm down.”

He hadn’t even realized just how hard he was breathing, and it only dawns on him as they come to a stop in his—theirs, now—slightly rectangular bedroom, filled with bunk beds from corner to corner, with a wide open space in the middle kept meticulously clean. Hitoshi takes a deep breath as he whirls on the boy behind him, the kid’s dark eyes half-hooded with obvious apathy.

Did Hitoshi ever look like that, or was he always afraid? Shouta doesn’t know enough about this place to be scared of it, but fear keeps Hitoshi safe, so he will teach the boy. He’ll teach him. He ignores Shouta’s suggestion that he ‘calm down’.

“You sleep when they say, eat when they say, and play when they say. Do your lessons when Miss Ro says so, and wash behind your ears. They check, believe me…” Hitoshi says darkly. Shouta’s eyebrows are slowly knitting together; that’s fine. It means he’s taking Hitoshi seriously. “It’s alright here, if you follow the rules and stay out of the matrons’ way. The older kids are pretty nice. They’ll help you, if ya’ ask. ‘Specially the ones who have been here a while. They get it.”

Hitoshi wants to tell him about the dark room and the belt, the sly fingers that yank and pull at ears and cheeks and skin without warning, leaving red crescent marks and sometimes blood—but he’s hoping the other boy will never have to experience that.

“I’ll help you. You’ll be alright, with me.” Hitoshi tries to smile reassuringly.

Shouta doesn’t smile back or look relieved like Hitoshi had hoped; if someone had told him this when he first arrived, Hitoshi thinks he himself would have appreciated it. Learning on the fly has ended in too many nights with a raw bottom or aching back when the matrons get too heavy handed with the belt. He cringes inwardly.

Shouta’s face is smooth, impassive. Hitoshi doesn’t like that he can’t read the other boy easily; is that normal for kids their age? Hitoshi can’t seem to hide a single thing from the grown-ups.

Shouta shifts his weight, his eyes narrowing in apparent suspicion. Hitoshi flinches. Did he mess this up, too?

“Do they hurt you, Hitoshi?”

He feels the blood freeze in his veins. Is he that obvious? Oh well, he supposes there’s nothing for it now. He’d rather shelter Shouta from the hard truth of it, but if he already sees it written in the lines of Hitoshi’s tiny body and the sound of his frantic words, then...well the matrons are always telling him to be honest, aren’t they.

“Yeah...but it’s alright. You just gotta be better than me, Shouta. You can do that, right? It’s not so hard. I’ll still help you, I promise, just follow my lead, okay? You don’t have to be scared.”

The thing is, Shouta doesn't look in the least bit scared.

He looks furious.

Hitoshi is about two seconds away from cowering back and finding his bed where he can hide under the blankets and pretend he has some semblance of safety under them. How did he mess this up already? How is Shouta mad at him before he’s even had a chance to get to know Hitoshi?

“Hey, hey kid, no- I…” Hitoshi looks up to see one of Shouta’s small hands, reaching out to him. It’s slow, and this is about the only thing that keeps Hitoshi held fast in place. Once again, he can’t help but think that this boy is strange; he doesn’t hold himself or talk like any other kid Hitoshi has ever met. The confusion only heightens the sense of wrong that all of this brings and it welcomes hot, unbidden tears to his eyes. But it’s been a long time since Hitoshi has let himself cry, so he holds them back and they burn all the more.

Shouta sighs, the little sound echoing out across the bare wooden floors around them. He stares Hitoshi down with a quiet strength that Hitoshi doesn’t know what to do with. “If I tell you something, you have to not freak out, ok?” Hitoshi nods, though he’s not sure if he’ll freak out or not. Shouta nods back resignedly. “I’m not truly a child. My name is Aizawa Shouta and I’m actually...big. A grown up,” he says slowly, as if trying to find the right words to explain himself. Hitoshi on the other hand feels his jaw drop to the floor. “I got hit by a quirk that made me small and I got turned around in the confusion. That stupid woman brought me here, but I’m not an orphan. I’m a pro hero. Eraserhead.” He finishes off by jutting a hand forward, his small fingers poised into a clear invitation for a handshake.

It’s this last detail that settles the thought in Hitoshi’s mind: Shouta is telling the truth.

Hitoshi knows this with every trembling bone in his body for multiple reasons. One, no kid his age has ever talked the way Shouta does, with slow pauses and thoughtful phrases, with fire in his words ready to stand up to even Miss Tanaka downstairs, lacking any and all fear of authority that Hitoshi has quickly learned to cultivate.

Two, the story seems like it could be true. People are affected by quirks all the time and accidents happen a lot. Hitoshi has been on the receiving end of too many quirks to not believe Shouta when he says this is what happened.

And three...well, three is the most convincing of all.

Because Hitoshi knows of Eraserhead. Hitoshi loves Eraserhead.

Hitoshi thinks back to when it happened. He's pretty sure he was five, though the days tend to all run together. Measurements such as weeks, months, years mean very little to him, but he’s almost sure he’s right. In the summer, the matrons find themselves busier than usual--with school being out and all--the kids running rampant with boundless energy. But not Hitoshi. No, he had taken the opportunity to slip away, out the front door and down the street, where the city was somehow blissfully quiet and where he had gone to enjoy his time alone. Well, not entirely alone.

“You back again, kid?” Eraserhead had asked. After the second time of meeting in the alley, the man had finally introduced himself, though Hitoshi never did return the favor. Hitoshi had been floored when he learned the man was a pro hero. Hitoshi nodded in response, kneeling down to observe the real reason the both of them ever found themselves in that alley that smelled of hot, sweltering garbage.

A mother cat had birthed kittens a few weeks back and Hitoshi was fascinated by them. Eraserhead was too.

And now, Eraserhead is a boy with dark hair and dark eyes that Hitoshi recognizes and oh my god it’s real, what are they gonna do--

“Shh, shush, it’s alright Hitoshi.”

The boy pales. “Do you...do you remember me?” He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Shouta says no, it might just break what’s left of his half-starved heart. This is Eraserhead--Shouta, a pro-hero who now knows what happens to Hitoshi in the dark corridors of this place, and he had always wanted to tell Eraserhead but he could never seem to strike up the courage. But now Shouta knows and what if still nothing changes--

“Yes, I remember you, kid. I took one of those cats home, did you know? Never saw you again after that last time.”

Hitoshi didn’t know. One day he went back and the cats were just gone.

“Took the rest to a shelter. They were old enough to be separated from their mother and it just didn’t feel right leaving them on the streets. Bothered me I couldn’t tell you that,” Shouta sighs. Hitoshi blinks, still trying to reconcile the silhouette of the man he had begun to know and bond with, with the figure of a small boy before him. He feels like he needs to sit down.

“Listen, kid,” Shouta begins, his tone leaving no room for argument, “I’m not staying here. I’ve got people out looking for me and for all I know, this quirk has a time limit.” A small hand comes to rest firmly on Hitoshi’s shoulder and he looks up from where he had unknowingly been staring at his shoes. “And when I leave, I’m taking you with me. I know these places aren’t great but...mm," Shouta shakes his head. "I’m not just gonna leave you here, kid. Hitoshi. Do you want to come with me?”

Hitoshi feels numb, his fingers tingling weirdly, but not unpleasantly. He can’t quite get his mouth to work.

For a moment Shouta looks nervous. “I named her Sakura. She’s the one with the blue eye, remember?”

The cat. Shouta is talking about the cat. Hitoshi feels a small smile break onto his face, stealing space like a creeping shadow. Shadows. Hitoshi would like to leave behind his shadows. He finds himself nodding. He licks his lips, voice cracking when he speaks.

“Sakura. I like that name.”

Shouta smiles.

send me prompts!

#and then they lived happily ever after #i dont know what this orphanage is lollll #my writing #dadzawa #age regression #bnha #my hero academia #fic #hurt/comfort

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