#sexuality and gender talk

[keldae]

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

An excellent question! Hmmm, how to best answer this...

Xaja -- thought she was straight for years, then got hit on by a couple of women on Carrick and realized she liked it. She still tends toward men, but she can definitely appreciate women as partners -- she's openly bisexual. As far as her gender identity goes, she's pretty solidly a cis woman -- I'm not sure what would get her to consider another identity! She's a bit of a tomboy, but is definitely in touch with her feminine side.

Korin -- I don't know that he's ever questioned being a cis male, but he's definitely been down for sexual experimentation since he was a teenager with a vivid imagination and an insatiable curiosity. He found out pretty quick that he's bisexual. He did not like the situations where he had to try and embrace his feminine side though -- he appreciates and admires women, but definitely does not consider himself to be one.

Sorand -- He's had the most questions, I think! Gender-wise, he's mostly male with a bit of a squiggle. He self-identifies as male, but I think he's had some questions, since he's more in-tune with traditionally feminine things, like sporting long hair and being more soft-spoken and diplomatic. Sexuality, I assumed he was straight when I rolled him up 10 years ago -- when the idea of flirting back with Shara's original writer felt super squicky, I wondered if he was gay and so far in the closet he's in space!Narnia. But, the idea of flirting with a guy felt super wrong with him too -- so, he's ace! I think he's pretty comfortable with that identity now.

Reanden -- Honestly, I'm still not sure about him. He's definitely a cis male, that's never been in question! I think he's played around with his identity over the course of his career with the SIS and Imperial/Sith Intelligence, but he's come out of that pretty confident he's a straight man. Could he be swayed over for the right guy? Probably. But is he very content being married to Mairen and not inclined to look anywhere else? Definitely.

[estragonsgayass]

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[agender-john]

Changing how i draw these guys for the 100th time

[a-bisexual-panicking]

the amount of serotonin that my brain produces when I see those two fucked up gay men is unbelievable

[karuuhnia]

Link needs years of therapy after upgrading his gear to lvl 4...

[flamingthespian]

love how jesslake can be and simultaneously is a queerplatonic partnership, found family, best friends, a straight romance, a gay romance, a lesbian romance, a t4t relationship, and more, all at once. Every headcanon for them is valid all at the same time the important thing is that no matter what form the relationship takes, it exists. They are together, in any and every way.

[stardust-sunset]

hot take but maybe people should stop harassing/stalking the outsiders cast.

[ingravinoveritas]

Really loving this photo of Michael at Eisteddfod and the support he has for so many wonderful causes...

[bananonbinary]

just filled out a bunch of new patient paperwork and it was full of the usualy performative ally bullshit like 'what is your current preferred gender' and 'do you consider yourself to be gay or straight or bisexual'

and in the middle of that it also asked "what is your preferred religion?" and i understand how religion influences medical care, but that is, i think, the stupidest way you could possibly phrase that. like oh, i prefer to be treated as a muslim but legally i'm still christian, what are you FUCKING talking about

[gayvampyr]

i actually hate when people interject with “the patriarchy hurts men too!” in every discussion about womens systemic oppression. like yeah, it does. but you don’t need to bring it up every single time we discuss misogyny as a reason people should *really* care about dismantling the patriarchy. like womens suffering isn’t enough of an issue, it has to affect men before it’s actually taken seriously. im just sick of having to cater to mens victim complex and validate their feelings of oppression before any real work can be done. isn’t it enough that we’re suffering? cuz it doesn’t feel like it is

[avi-on-jumblr]

listen. listen. i don’t believe in DNIs. i don’t believe in them. but.

DNI IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE YENTL.

[silverskye13]

I love how the church kinda treats tanguish like the community cat that just vibes and get really worried when he vanishes they love their gargoyle

To use a cut quote from a cut chapter: "It's a church. They keep track of their regular visitors, especially the ones that never come inside.”

They worry! I feel like the Order or Remembrance would, even more so than others, just because it's their job to remember. I imagine there was a bit of panic when the anonymous Gargoyle vanished, and everyone collectively realized they'd never asked his name, or managed to corner him long enough to invite him inside.

Honestly the next chapter or so is really scratching an itch for me, as far as church communities go. It's been a hot minute since I was last at a church that I really connected with a church [I live in a very conservative area and the churches here aren't very friendly to my current views] but when I was a kid, the sense of community that came with church was very nice. People genuinely cared if members of the congregation, even ones who didn't come often, disappeared for prolonged periods of time. I haven't been to my childhood church in over 10 years, but sometimes when members see me around town, they still run up and talk to me and ask me how I've been.

[keymintt]

bisexual, but not rly in an "i'm attracted to xyz" way so much as a "whatever the fuck happens, happens" way

[gottagobackintime]

I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.

Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.

Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.

And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).

But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.

So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.

[uncanny-tranny]

My best advice for trans people who are interacting with transphobes is to not delve into your personal experiences with dysphoria, childhood, sexual experiences, literally anything.

When I was a younger trans person, I thought I could prove my humanity to transphobes by delving into those aspects of my life. I genuinely thought that the more personal information I put out about my transness to transphobes, I could awaken something in them and make them realize "holy shit, I'm talking to a human being and not an abstraction of a 'person'".

What I learned, though, is that all I did was give those transphobes power over me. Transphobia often relies on unfalsifiable "theory" - that means that you cannot prove their theories of transness wrong. By playing their game, all you do is set yourself up to feel humiliated and degraded. By playing this game, you have already lost because they will cheat the game as many times as needed because they are going in with inherent bad faith.

You, in fact, do not owe your life story to transphobes. Their theory about transness is, simply put, that trans people can never be correct about our experiences. There will always be an ulterior motive for trans people in their eyes, because that is all they see. Don't give them that over you.