#she can't be a single mom al

[a-hazbin-reader]

Okay random thought but Alastor looks like the type of dad to turn into his demon form because his children find it funny for some reason

He totally fucking would, his wife would literally find him terrorizing people and think that someone attacked him or the children. Just total chaos, people screaming and running, Alastor laughing as he towers over everyone-

Only to see the kids being tossed around by his tentacles and squealing like they're on a rollercoaster 🎢 Then she just 🤦‍♀️ and goes back to whatever she was doing before

I like to think that it starts when they're babies and something happens where Alastor has to go into that form in order to protect them. He's all cradling them in his claws after the fight and everyone is expecting them to be terrified of their daddy's new look.

But instead, they just giggle and try to use him as a jungle gym. Then it continues because Alastor gets a kick out of it too, and his wife has to stop him because it causes too much damage.

To them it's like asking their dad for a piggyback ride but everyone else thinks that they're about to be eaten or what's even more likely, crushed.

This is literally their relationship after finding out the kids like Alastor's demon form-

[bruciemilf]

fem bruce ideas?

Gosh, it's so hard to like. Translate how a simple gender shift would change a character. Because on one hand I wanna be like, " nothing would be different. Why does it have to be different?"

But on another, sadder hand, it's everything. Everything would be different.

This might be kinda controversial, but I genuinely think fem Bruce would simply know, like Monday follows sunday: she wanted motherhood. That's just something she wanted. Maybe something she excluded from the realm of possibility, discarded in the trash when Batman crawled to life, but it was wanted.

EVERY Robin was wanted. Every single one.

Thomas and Alfred would put bee hairclips in her hair, because she wouldn't brush it otherwise. "The comb feels weird, dads!"

I'm melting at these two calling her "honeybee." Martha loved to let her daughter's pudgy hands paint her face clown white and give her cherry lipstick kisses.

Bryce wears the pearl necklace. Everywhere. It was her mother's favorite gift, from her mother, and many mothers before her. Why does a weak man decide what it means?

Listen. There's beauty, and there's Wayne beauty.

All I'm saying is; Dick learned very quickly to "accidentally" spill his drinks on people at gala. To "faint out of nowhere. Oh gosh, I seem to be struck by illness!"

I think it'd be absolutely adorable if Ollie and Bryce had a casual affection for eachother. Ollie fixes her hair in a braid, in rare moments where it sneaks out of the cowl. He can still recreate Thomas' patterns.

Alfred is the shotgun father but only in a hilarious way. I want him to pull a 47 on Pa Kent and Ra's Al Ghul for trying to adopt his beloved daughter.

Jason is the first batkid who calls her mom. It's hard and difficult and foreign for him. She say he doesn't have to, and he says, " well, you don't leave me much of a choice."

"I'm sorry if you feel forced."

"No, I mean, - that's how I know you are. I could do everything to you and you could do everything to me. We're going to destroy eachother. You'll forgive me for it. How can I not call you mom?"

She packs everyone lunches; Even Justice League members. Especially Clark. Even if he can't string two words together in front of her.

I think she wouldn't get lifts or voice alternators or try to appear more masculine to be intimidating. I simply think she'd be an intimidating woman, and that's it

Harvey never really falls for it.

To him, she's always going to be the girl he married drunk at 18, wasted on tequila and love, and never quite left

[obsessedwithlute]

If The Hazbin Hotel Characters Worked At A School

Charlie- You might think Charlie would be the principal but NO! Charlie is the therapist! She tries to get everyone into her office for a session by the end of the year- including the teachers! Vaggie- Vaggie would teach mainstream math. Her favorite thing about teaching math is giving people extra homework when they disrupt her class. (A lot of people leave with extra homework. One time Angel Dust walked in on her in the middle of a test, and she made him do a homework sheet).

Angel Dust- He is a substitute. He's actually qualified to teach computer science, but he doesn't. It's his best kept secret why he doesn't.

Husk- He teaches Italian. He's not properly fluent in Italian and only got the job because Lucifer lost a gamble to him and Husk said he'd let him keep his money if he did "one tiny favor". Angel Dust likes to lurk outside Husk's classroom when he gets the chance, and the second Husk mispronounces a word, Angel will stick his head in, correct him and then dart back out. Husk pretends to hate it but he actually finds it really hot. (Angel Dust was also actually the one who TAUGHT Husk Italian).

Lucifer- Lucifer is the principal. He doesn't really care what most of his employees do, including stalking the Italian teacher, cruel and unusual punishment during guitar lessons, or fucking in the janitor's closet. As long as "most of his employees" doesn't include Alastor.

Alastor- Alastor actually teaches health, or sex ed, or whatever you call it. He went to college and got a degree and didn't do it "The Husk Way" all so he could do two things: 1. Properly represent queer people, especially trans people, during the class because he knows, as a trans person, that it's really hard not to feel undermined during the class. 2. Make jokes about being an asexual person teaching sex ed (I'm not asexual/aromantic but it just seems like the kind of thing Alastor would do- especially considering how he reacts to Angel badly propositioning him). If you make a queerphobic comment in Alastor's class, you're dead. Possibly literally. Alastor never actually adheres to the curriculum, and Lucifer keeps trying to break into his class and catch him but somehow Al is always two steps ahead. When Lucifer is not at school, Alastor takes his whole class down to the kitchens and has them make jambalaya for the whole period. If you can't eat jambalaya, Alastor has a whole closet full of alternative ingredients for you but EVERYONE IS EATING SOME FORM OF JAMBALAYA OR EVERYONE HAS TO FIX ALASTOR'S VINTAGE RADIOS DURING DETENTION FOR A MONTH.

Lute- She teaches biology and is that one teacher who everyone either loves or hates. She runs the GSA and has weekly meetings and she's also the teacher who becomes your replacement mom if your real mom sucks. (This also applies to the teachers, she's also basically Angel Dust's mother by now). If you make a queerphobic comment in her class, she will stalk for exactly two weeks after you say it, slowly recording every single discriminatory thing you say. Then she will make you stay after school hours and reads off her entire list. Then she assigns you detention for two weeks and makes you write a 5-page essay on whatever chapter of Queer Ducks her heart desires in size 8 Arial font during the few precious hours of the day you don't have detention.

Adam- He teaches the jazz band, and if you play guitar, you get double lessons. Twice a month, Adam conducts tests randomly. You have to get up and play a song of his choice- no sheet music allowed. If you mess up even once, Adam gets to smack your guitar with a rock and you get to pay for the damages. (Lucifer knows, doesn't care, and makes rubber duck voodoo dolls all day long.)

Cherri- She teaches gym and if a student isn't running fast enough, she throws basketballs at them. Not hard to HIT them, but just enough to give them some motivation.

Sir Pentious- He doesn't work at this school. He works at a preschool in a different town. But since it's only a half-day, as soon as he gets the chance, he leaves and goes to stare longingly at Cherri while she somehow manages not to get fired. Everyone is just used to him being there, and he's fine with that.

[roosterforme]

The Secret Ingredient (Rooster x Reader)

Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. Written for an ask. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32

Warnings: just fluff

"You seem a little nervous," Bradley whispered as you snuggled up against his arm on the flight. "You know they love you, right?"

You buried your face against his shirt and inhaled the fresh smell of the laundry detergent you always bought. Bradley smelled and felt like home, and as you slipped your hands around his bicep, you snuggled a little closer. "I know," you replied softly. 

You'd spent hours on facetime calls with Carole Bradshaw over the past month and a half since you met them for the first time. Sometimes Goose would make a cameo, but usually it was just Carole. She always called Bradley's phone, but after a minute or two, she inevitably asked to talk to you every single time. 

"I know," you repeated. "I'm not nervous exactly. I just want to make a good impression on them in their home. I'm literally going to visit the house you grew up in. And it's Thanksgiving. It's a big deal."

Bradley just kissed the top of your head and said, "You're a big deal."

You glared up at him, but you were smiling. And then you snuggled in for the rest of the flight and eventually fell asleep. You felt yourself being jostled awake by Bradley just as the sun was setting in Virginia. 

"Let's go find my dad," Bradley said as both of you walked through the airport.

"Your mom's not picking us up, too?" you asked.

"Doubt it. She's probably already cooking more food than we could ever hope to eat."

"Should I offer to help her?" you asked, walking a little faster now that Bradley had spotted his dad standing in front of a row of benches. 

"If you want to," he replied. "She'd probably like that. She might even tell you about her secret recipes."

"Secret recipes?" you asked, but Goose was already pulling you in for a tight hug before he even reached for his son.

"How was the flight?" he asked, rubbing a firm circle into your shoulder with his hand before releasing you with a smile.

"Very smooth," you replied, watching him and Bradley hug each other. 

He kissed Bradley's cheek and told you, "Don't say that to him. He thinks he could do it better."

You laughed. "He probably could."

Bradley kissed you and whispered, "That's my girl." Then you let your fingers tangle with his as you both followed Goose outside as he pulled your suitcase for you. 

The short drive from the airport had you more excited than nervous as you listened to the two of them chat about everything and nothing. And when you pulled up to their house, Carole came running out and opened the back door to collect you in her arms as you climbed out. 

"You're here!" she announced, kissing your cheek and hugging you. "Goose got Bradley's old bedroom ready for you. You'll think it's so cute. It still has his baseball theme."

"You're adorable," you told Bradley as he rolled his eyes.

When you smiled and pulled Carole in for another hug when she started to back away, she whispered in your ear, "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here."

And then she led you inside and gave you a tour of the house that included her pointing out where Bradley once wet his pants when he was five years old and where he threw up before his date for junior prom got dropped off.

By the time she tried to get the three of you into the dining room to eat dinner, you were doubled over in laughter, and Bradley was shaking his head. "I only threw up a little," he said as he helped his mom carry food to the table. 

And there was just so much food, you couldn't comprehend what tomorrow would be like when she made Thanksgiving dinner. But you didn't have to wonder for long. You and Bradley slept in his baseball bedroom, your body draped on top of his with his fingers tangled with yours. And at seven o'clock, you could hear Carole in the kitchen.

"What's she doing, Roo?" you asked as Bradley started to stir. 

"Cooking," he rasped. "She's always like this. Has to make everyone's favorite side dish. Brenda is allergic to yams and needs something else. Terry hates cranberry sauce so she makes homemade chutney. My dad's favorite vegetable is lima beans, so she makes him a special casserole that everyone else hates."

You stretched as your body reminded you that it was actually four in the morning California time, but you got out of bed anyway. "Your mom is lovely, but I'm glad she doesn't know my favorite side dish, because she would have probably tried to make it."

Bradley just smirked as he watched you pull off your tee shirt and get dressed. "You're right about that, Baby Girl."

"I'm going to go help her," you said, bending to kiss him. "Suck up to your mom a little bit more."

Bradley snorted and rolled over. "She already wants me married off to you, so good luck with that. You'll never get rid of me now." He pulled the blanket over his head, and you smiled as you went to the kitchen to investigate. 

Carole was somehow peeling potatoes, reading a recipe and making stuffing at the same time. "Can I help you with anything?" you asked, and she turned to face you with a bright smile. 

"Sure! Peel these," she said, handing you the peeler and the potato she was working on. Your eyes caught on the ring she had on with her wedding band.

"That's pretty. Is it a ruby?" you asked, and her eyes flashed as they met yours. 

"Yes, it's my birthstone. Goose got it for me."

You pressed your lips together and then decided to ask, "What happened to your engagement ring?" You were sure she'd had a diamond when they visited you and Bradley last month. 

She was quiet for a beat as she diced up an onion and added it to the stuffing. "I just thought it was time for a change," she said softly before she smiled at you. "Now get to peeling," she added with a wink. "We have to make everyone's favorite side dishes!"

You worked for a while side by side as she asked you about your job and made sure Bradley was a top notch boyfriend. "Well he can't cook to save his life," you said, and started to chuckle. "But he cleans and does all the yard work."

"And he's sweet to you?" she asked sincerely.

You looked down at the peeler and nodded. "Yes. He's sweet to me." Then you set the peeler down and said, "Bradley told me something about your secret recipes?"

She laughed a little more. "That's just something I always told Bradley and my Goose to keep them out of the kitchen and out of my hair. I told them that I had to cook my secret recipes, and that maybe one day I would share them."

You smiled and said, "I hope you're not about to tell me that the secret ingredient you use is love. Because that would be the most mom thing ever."

"No," she said with another wink as she opened the refrigerator. "It's wine." She took out a bottle of chardonnay and opened it.

"Okay, that's pretty funny," you said, accepting a glass after she poured two. "Wine is the secret ingredient."

She looked at you for a moment with a thoughtful smile. "I guess there is another secret ingredient. And you'll have to excuse me for giving a total mom answer here. But I think the real secret ingredient is patience."

"Patience?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed. "You'll need it with Bradley. I need it with Goose." She took a sip of wine and then said, "But you'll need to be the one to add it to your recipes. Your relationship. Lord knows my Bradley can be a sweetheart when he wants to be, but he can sometimes be indecisive and other times rush things. Let him rush for the good things, like being with you. But make sure you help him through the indecisive bits before you both get too overwhelmed. Now help me with this coleslaw. It's Erica's favorite."

You thought about her words and considered how it felt to be with Bradley. Sometimes you thought you and he rushed to be together and move into his house. And as you mixed up the ingredients as Carole added them, Bradley popped his head into the room. 

"Need help?" he asked. 

"Why don't you set the table?" Carole asked him. "And don't forget the little bottle. I put it in the pantry."

Bradley kissed his mom on the cheek and then pulled you in for a kiss that was on the verge of being too much, and then he disappeared into the dining room. Carole just smirked. 

A while later, when the turkey and no fewer than twelve side dishes were ready, you and all of Bradley's cousins headed into the dining room. "Where should I sit?" you asked him when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. 

"My mom had me put your favorite side dish at your spot," Bradley said, rubbing his mustache along your ear. "See it yet?"

Then your eyes caught on the bottle of your favorite green hot sauce, and your heart swelled with happiness. "Oh!" you gasped, turning in Bradley's arms. "You told her about my addiction to hot sauce?"

"She wanted you to have your favorite side dish. I told her you weren't picky, and then she got that information out of me."

"I love it here," you murmured before rushing over to give Carole a hug.

She squeezed you as you whispered, "Thanks for the hot sauce. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving," she whispered back.

[crow-aeris]

Part 3 of the au my brain worms gave me 😔

Part 1, 2, 4

=====

"I keep forgetting about you being a literal trash rat," Jason scoffs, poking at the single pitiful skillet at sat innocently in the giant pantry. He sighs, taking it out, rinsing it, before setting it on the stove.

"Shut up," Tim sighed, pressing his face into the countertop, "You're such an asshole."

"Language, birdy," Jason scoffed, grimacing as he looked through the fridge, "Is there nothing organic in here? You're supposed to be rich, Tim!"

"It's too much work!" his brother complained, "I can't bother with cooking when there are Batmen and Robins to stalk!"

Jason deadpanned, turning over to pin Tim with an unimpressed stare, "Really, kid?"

He shrugs, "You called me a stalker, Jay, I'm just leaning into it! Also, do you want to deal with Dick or Damian next?"

Jason scoffed, "You're the genius, figure it out."

"You lie to Batman once!"

"Oh shut up," Jason rolled his eyes before deciding to make scrambled eggs, because those were the only thing in the entire fridge that were even slightly healthy. Everything else was either frozen meals, exotic fruit juice, and even more frozen meals. God the amount of salt here is atrocious, "We both know you've lied to all of us at least three times."

It was very telling when Tim didn't respond.

"Alright, you make the plans, I make the eggs, and I'll veto anything that sounds utterly batshit insane."

"Do you want to call your mom first?" Tim offered, "She's probably worried sick."

Jason turned, his expression pinching as guilt churned in his chest... He... He doesn't know if he should. He knows she'll die, that someday she'll overdose and leave behind a shaking, trembling, wide-eyed and fearful son, but- but he doesn't think he could deal with it again. Sure, she's his mom, but he- he doesn't know her, this version of her, at least.

"It's okay if you don't-"

"Shut up," he hissed, shocking himself at how strangled and strained his voice sounded, "I- I don't know if I can."

And Tim, with an infuriatingly patient expression, nods.

Jason sucks in a breath through his teeth. He came to peace with her death all those years ago, the faint memory of his previous life overlapping with this reality's.

But... he still owes it to her...

"...Do you want to come with me?" Jason asks after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah," Tim responds, "Let me go grab some money, and we can buy something instead."

Jason nods shortly before shoving the skillet back into the pantry before going to wait by the door.

A few moments later, the pair of boys sat side by side on the back of the bus. They made have been at each other's throat all those years ago, but now- god help those who ever try to sever them.

As the bus slowed to a stop, the pair wordlessly stood in tandem and strode off the bus. Years of carefully ingrained memory allowing the pair to work together like a well-oiled machine.

"What are you kids doing out here?" a strange man drawls, striding forward to stand in front of the two.

Jason tensed, shifting forward to place himself between Tim and the strange man, "It's none of your business."

"Don't be like that," the man continues, stepping forward with hungry eyes trawling down Jason's face, "are you two brothers?"

Tim's hand pressed against his shoulder, and Jason relaxed to allow Tim to work his stalker magic.

"Yes, we are!" Tim chirped brightly, his currently tone at complete odds with Tim half an hour ago, "I'm so sorry about my brother's attitude. He didn't get enough sleep last night, you see, so he's just a little grumpy."

"I can speak for myself, Al," Jason huffed, feeling acutely aware of the eyes pinning against his skin.

The man looked interested. It was all Jason could do to keep himself from lashing out at the man for his predatory gaze, "What's your name, kid?"

"I'm Alvin John," Tim says brightly, nudging Jason's side with a careful look, "What's your name?"

"How about your brother first?"

"...Thomas," Jason huffed.

"Why are you two out here all alone? Where are your parents?"

"We were out on a walk," Tim nods, "Don't worry, we're safe! Our mom is expecting us, so we should really be on our way."

"You still haven't told us your name," he interrupts.

"Bright kid! You'd be great if you smiled more," and Tim's hand tightening around his arm was the only thing keeping him from brandishing his pocket knife and pulling a Damian, "my name is Derick Gleisner."

"It was nice meeting you, Mister Gleisner," Tim smiles, "I hope you have a good day!"

"You too, kid."

Jason allows Tim to lead them into the crowd. The pair losing the eyes against their back before heading toward Jason's child hood home.

"Robert Shawn," Tim hisses, barely loud enough for Jason to hear, "arrested on account of human and drug trafficking. Batman will find him six days from now and turn him in to the GCPD."

"You want to use him?" Jason replied tightly.

Tim, to Jason's chagrin, nods, "It's the fastest way, short of breaking into the manor, which would just raise their suspicions. If you want to do this another way, I don't mind."

"You already have plans in place, don't you?" Jason groaned, swatting at Tim's arm with a tired sigh. Tim gives him a side-long look, and Jason's question was promptly answered.

They reached the house a minute later, and Jason pushes open the door with his spare key.

"Mom, I'm home!" he calls, freezing as he received no response, "...Mom?"

Tim freezes suspiciously beside him before cursing under his breath, "Jason!"

"What?" he snaps.

"You were here last time, right?" Tim says softly, "You were home."

Jason nods jerkily, dread pooling in his chest as he sees Tim's expression pinch in worry.

He tears away, the carpet bunching under his feet as he scrambles toward the kitchen.

"MOM?" he calls. She wasn't in the kitchen. Maybe her room? "MOM! MOM, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Jason shoves open the door, scrambling at the doorknob in his haste. He bursts in only to see Catherine slumped over on the floor.

This- this wasn't supposed to fucking happen yet! What the FUCK.

He screamed. His knees aching as he lunged forward to grapple with his mom's body. Her skin cold and limbs stiff- his mom- his mom.

Shit- what- this wasn't supposed to happen yet! It- it was august, she wasn't supposed to die until february. God DAMNIT.

"I've called the ambulance," Tim says from the doorway, "Jay..."

"Shut UP. SHUT. UP," Jason screams, shoving his forehead against chilled cold skin as hot tears burned against his eyes, "Mom...This- this wasn't supposed to happen yet! Tim- what- why?"

"It's... it's most likely because of the disparities between timelines," his brother says, somehow making his technical blabber sound fucking sympathetic, "i think in this timeline, since you weren’t here to stop whatever from happening…”

“…Fuck,” he hisses, flinching slightly as he hears sirens wail in the distance.

“Do you need some time alone?” Tim asks hesitantly.

Jason grits his teeth. He- he doesn’t want to leave her alone- but, but damnit, Tim. Knowing the stupid little fucker would skitter off and do something so utterlyfucking effective yet idiotic. He sucks in a breath, “Just- just give me a sec, kid. I- i need to say goodbye…”

“Okay. Take your time…”

-----

Part 1, 2, 4

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 12

And that's all she wrote friends! And how she wrote it was...weird? The show definitely pulled some punches at the end there, trying to thread a needle and ending instead in a kind of wishy-washy damp squib. The couples landed up right, but in the wrong way? Guu mai chorp. But these hoes still need their final sorting. Nick led the pack going into the finale, will he end up on top at the end? Only the mains this week in my final rankings, but first...

⭐A1. FUCKIN' MIX!

Then…can I be your friend too?

I'm sorry I can't hear y'all over my screams at the MESS Minx Mix looks set to cause. That man is too pretty to be allowed in public. I WANT IT JOJO, I WANT IT NOW!

🔻🔻🔻Z∞. Boeing (8)

I just happen to want something strong tonight.

In the end, Boeing is just a lonelyboy like all the rest of them, which is fine, but he also just...disappears after the Ray/Mew Voltron vanquishes him and he gets a consolation makeout from Boston, which is not. Anyway, Mond is a good actor, also he's hot and got to kiss a bunch of boys, so winning.

Top tier show sidepieces: Yo, Plug, Summer, Freddie Mercury 2, Sand's Mom, Ray's Dad, Daddy Dan, April, Mew's Moms (barely)

These characters were mostly on the side of the angels, and I thank them for their service.

Bottom bitches: Cheum, Atom, Gap

Yeah they apologised, but fuck em.

Onto our main six!

🔺1. Boston (2)

I'm friendless.

In the end, Boston's at the top of my mains pile, because MY MANS DESERVED BETTER. Not in terms of Nick, I think that actually ended the absolute best way: Boston made his case, Nick made his decision, and they parted more or less as friends (and I loved absolutely every conversation those two had in this episode). No I mean in terms of his shitty friends, especially MEW. Cheum at least apologised, even if perfunctorily, and he apologised for sleeping with Atom (yeah, he really shouldn't have done that). He and Ray let the water wash under their particular bridge, and seem set to be cool. They never really had much in the way of beef to be fair. But Mew...actually you know what, good. Some people you don't need to be friends with, especially people who are gonna judge you and try to make you feel shitty about yourself. The narrative leaves Boston literally alone at the end though, legit the last time we see him is sitting on the curb with tears in his eyes as Nick walks away. Thanks, I hate it. I hope New York is better to Boston, and I hope he continues to learn and grow and tackle those impulse control problems.

🔻2. Nick (1)

You should go back to living a fun and sassy life that you prefer instead of trying to please a daydreaming guy like me.

YOU COULD HAVE ACCEPTED THE GODDAMN PHOTO NICKYBOY. I mean I get why not, but justice for my mans. Anyway, Nick's legit my second fave main here, as he grapples with the in-your-face realities of Boston's separation of love and sex, and decides he can't handle it. And that's good, that he loves Boston enough not to judge him, and loves himself enough not to put himself through something he knows he doesn't want. Every single choice and every conversation these two have had since Nick apologised has been nothing less than stellar, and that's because Nick took accountability and chose honesty. Well done baby boy.

🔺3. Sand (5)

You're right. When I love someone, I become a dog. But at least my owner loves me.

Pathetic to the very end, consistency thy name is Sand. He could have at least thrown his bussy into that threesome, but nooooooo, he got jealous IN TWO DIRECTIONS AT ONCE 🤣. He's fine with both boys slangin the dick his way, but calls a halt when they leave him out? Sir that's when you stand back and admire. Sand's pick-me ass ain't never gonna be my absolute fave, but his self-awareness and humiliation kink work together to be kind of endearing in a guileless sort of way, and at least he's learned to take the money if he's going to accept the ownership. It's sweet in a weird kink way. Also, his and Nick's loser friendship pushes him several points higher up the scale. There's growth and acceptance there, and he's 21 so I'll let him have it.

🔺4. Ray (7)

You still love him so I dragged him here for you. But I wanted to join just a little.

Well when he's not drunk night and day Ray's still a rich asshole, but he's a ton more fun. I love that he knows the kids at community service don't like him🤣. I spot rehab therapy working on him a bit. That threesome set up was WILD, and I personally had a good time with it, but it's probably best that it led to talking rather than fucking. Ray's got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go, but at least he treats Boston like a human being (I AM SO BITTER AND I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT). He's never gonna clock Mew's shittiness (BITTERNESS ACCELERATING) but you win some, you lose some. By the way sir, don't listen to Sand, he absolutely will be your sugar baby if you beg a little.

🔻5. Top (4)

Because I have you, everything is fine.

Top's smugness was the single most genuine thing about him, so I actually quite enjoyed watching him be a smug motherfucker this ep as he gets everything he thinks he wants. You know what I enjoyed more though? Watching his soul leave his body when Minx!Mix walked into the hostel and laser-targeted Mew. Mew putting Top through hell is legit my favourite flavour of their weird little fucked up relationship, and I'm sorry I won't get to see Mew eventually fall for Mix (you KNOW he wants to top somebody, YOU KNOW IT) and Top cry about it while he screws a bellboy in a service closet.

🔹6. Mew (6)

Are you about to say "But you're my last, Mew"? If so, I'm going to go puke in the bathroom.

OK, that line was funny, but jeez what a prig. What a sanctimonious nag. What a judgy little hypocrite. In his own conception he 'won' but Mew's the biggest loser in my heart. No he didn't have to forgive Boston, but come on, he could've kept it cute OR kept it moving full speed instead of the fake nicey nicey only to stick the knife in after. It's good that he walks away from Boston in the end, because with friends like Mew you don't need enemies. He makes Ray worse. And he and Cheum form the feedback loop from hell. Bookie sold the fuck out of this character, I have nothing but praise for him, but Mew is the living worst. I won't mention the character he reminds me most of in all of fiction, but if you're a certain age and you think about it a little, you can probably guess.

[graveyardgremlins]

OK OK I JUST HAD THE FUNNIEST FUCKING IDEA FOR THE FANFIC

SO TALIA IS A GOOD MOM RIGHT? ("oh, gray, what about when she-" SHUT UP) GOOD MOM, RICH, SMART, POWERFUL, STRONG, WOULD BEAT ANYBODY UP NO MATTER WHAT. RIGHT?!

AND THEN WE HAVE VLAD. I can't say much about him, because it would be a spoiler, BUT HE IS SINGLE!

NOW IMAGINE TALIA AL GHUL, THE PRICESS OF 'ETH ALTH'EBAN, IN A DATE WITH VLAD MASTERS, THE IDIOT??????????? THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

[justrainandcoffee]

Inner demons (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)

“They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it...”

Masterlist

Summary: It's 1917. Alfie and the men under his charge were allowed to return home. The war isn't over, but it's for him. At least physically. His wife found him one night sat in front of fireplace, he's mentally lost back in France. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts," his mind says "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."

Warnings: PTSD. Mentions of war. Blood. Murder. Suicide. Angst. Hurt/comfort.

Words: 1.5k

1917

"Captain, captain! It's Jacob Craig!! Captain!"

In his dreams, Alfie is following one if his men. Out of the trenches, a young soldier named Jacob is lying on the ground his whole body is shaking and Alfie can see why. His left leg is no there anymore and around him there's only blood.

"I'm…I'm so-sorry cap-captain."

"It's okay, soldier, you're fine. You're fine." Alfie put a hand on his shoulder and tried to not look at his missing leg.

"Te-tell my mum I lo-love her."

"I will."

Jacob Craig, only 19 years old, died no longer after. He was just a kid. Alfie wanted to yelled while some of the men put the corpse next to the others. He didn't have a chance to become a man, to have a family, to live a long life. Jacob Craig was one of the many that didn't have the chance to return home. His thoughts travelled to London. There, in a nice house in Camden Town, his wife was waiting for him. Alfie didn't know if he will be able to see her again.

A bomb exploded next to him and he ducked. When you're in a battlefield there's no time for sentimentalism. You kill or you die. Alfie grabbed his rifle and shot.

Next to him, his wife is sleeping but Alfie can't. His mind is torturing him, his nightmares are chasing him like a predator. He can name every single man who died under his watch. Not just Jacob Craig, there was a Kyle, a Christopher, an Andrew, a Derek… and so many more. You can hide if you want to, but you can't hide from your own mind.

Alfie was always an impulsive person, using the violence to be feared and respected was part of his nature. The problem is that the war increased that. He had to survive to return home and he knew what to do. But now in his mind there were not only the voices of his men, but also his enemies. The ones he killed with his own hands.

Back in 1914, before the war, he thought that returning home it'd be easy. But it wasn't. He was back, it's true, and it was more than millions could say, but the price he had to pay…

He goes to their living room. Alfie sits down in front of the chimney and watches the fire. It's hard to control himself. It's hard to pretend that everything is fine, when everything is not fine.

"Please, please… spare my life."

The voice of a man he never knew appears in his memories. Alfie can see his uniform in his mind. It was an Italian. 'A fucking wop'.

Alfie didn't spare his life. He took it and now the spirit of the Italian soldier lives forever in his conscience.

The rage he's carrying is too much. Too strong. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts, mom." His imagination says. And another voice responds: "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."

Anibal González was a good man. One of his best friends while they were there. Son of a Peruvian couple, Anibal was raise in England when both of his parents moved to Europe. Anibal was a funny man, full of good intentions who just wanted to live in the countryside and have a farm. That was before he blew up his brain after two years in the front. Alfie tried to stop him, but he couldn't.

He hides his face in his hands. "Make it stop… make it stop…"

"Al?" her soft voice, makes him turn around to see her. "Alfie, what's happening?"

"Ghosts… I can see them. They can see me. They're haunting me. All of them."

His hands are shaking and she put hers over his. Alfie is not the same and she can see that. His eyes are now always scrutinizing the surroundings. He's alert all the time and he can't sleep, like now.

"I don't want to hurt you, Rosie. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, Al."

"No, you don't understand. I know I'm 'ere, I know I'm safe now and I know who ya're… but it requires a lot of strength to reminding myself that. I need to tell me all the time that I'm not in the trenches. That there aren't wops here… only you. But I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to distinguish between ya and an enemy, between this house and the battlefield. I-… I'm terrified of hurting you. Of killing you, because my mind is damaged."

Rose caresses his face. Her poor Alfie. In her whole life she never saw him that bad… broken. Fuck those who dared to hurt him. She doesn't need a reminder to know that her husband isn't a good man, but Rose knows her husband is incapable of doing anything against her. And the proof is in front of her. Even broken, Alfie's biggest fear isn't his well-being but hers. The man she loves is terrified of hurting her because his mind isn't the same.

She hugs him and he hides his face against her body. Rose strokes his hair. "We'll face this together, Al. As always. Even if it takes you ages. I don't care. I'll be here."

"If I hurt ya, I will kill myself, ya know that, right? I fuckin' shoot myself."

"And I'm going to stop you before you can do it. You're my everything, Al. I know you better than I know myself. True that I don't know what did you experience in France, what did you see but I know how strong you are. And this is only…"

"They gave me a free pass to kill and I used it. I enjoyed it," he interrumpts. Alfie looks at her "I know I can't stop now. My nightmares, luv, are red and the voices keep claiming blood. Over and over again."

She notices that he's trembling again and holds him even tighter: "I wish we'd have the chance to run far away from here. I wish those who sent you there die cruelly. Alfie, I can't change the past. But I'm ready to this new present. If hypothetically you kill someone else… Do you think that will scare me? The day you arrive here covered by blood then I'll prepare a bath to help you to clean yourself. I'll stitch your wounds. I'll kiss your bruises. I'm not scared of you. But I'll help you to fight that urge, no matter what. Listen, I said I know you better than I know myself and it's true and since it's true, I know you're incapable of hurting me even if your voices are screaming at you."

In the house there's only the two of them. As always the two of them. Their dog called Fancy is sleeping next to the door. The sound of the fire is only interrupted by the sound of their breathing.

"I love ya, pet."

"I know. And I love you, too Al."

"I'm tired. It's just it. I'm tired of everything. Ya think it'll pass?"

"Everything always pass, Alfie. One day this will be a distant memory."

"Probably."

They remain in silence once again. When Rose watches at him again, she sees him sleeping on her. The woman caresses his hair slowly.

"They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it." His words are engraved in her mind now. If hell is a real place then Alfie's soul already has a room for him there. But he was not going to go alone there. If she had to sell her own soul to be with him then she's ready to make a deal with the devil himself if that meant to be with him forever.

Alfie sleeps with his head on her lap. He's dreaming again. He's in France but this time his wife is there, right in front of him while he's ready to use his rifle. Alfie's hands are shaking and is bitting his lower lip. He sees her smiling at him and before he'd realise what's happening, the gun fells on the ground. For the first time in his dreams he's not hurting anyone. Rose is right: he's incapable of hurting her even in his nightmares. The demons in his head scream but he's not listening to them. In the dreams, Alfie smiles at her too.

[everythingwasalreadypicked]

can i offer percybaster god swap au Poseidon Al and Hecate Percy 👀

or even percaethabaster

YES!!! I mean I'm now going to ramble about percybaster but this totally fits as percaethabaster too (mostly mine and phoenix's ramblings tbh)

Ok ok Al who's been at camp since he was a kid, all alone in the Poseidon cabin, not allowed to go outside the camp because of what happened to Thalia and people mostly avoiding him bc. Big Three kid.

He's lonely! He has double daddy issues from both Poseidon and Mr. Torrington! He only has a handful friends! Kronos found himself a perfect opportunity!

Insert Percy

Tlt goes mostly the same. Luke steals the bolt and the helm. Poseidon and Zeus are at eachother's throats. Al is snippy bc he's half sure Zeus wants to kill him more now. His friend Annabeth wants to know if he knows something. (He does the voice in his dreams have a finger on it but he won't tell her that!)

Percy comes to camp in the same way. Turns out being the son of a Titannes attracts a lot of monsters. Aka the Minatour. Sally instead of being taken by Hades (bc he doesn't have any reason to blame Percy) gets saved by Hecate and they're casually chilling in the Underworld during the whole time. Percy still thinks she died tho

Al takes Annabeth, Grover and Percy on his quest bc he doesn't give a single fuck about the rules.

Al leaves with Luke that summer. No scorpion scene ensures. Percy is told Al joined Kronos but he doesn't want to believe it.

Until he comes face to face with Al in SoM.

So now we have Al as the Ta's leader, Luke as his general/advisor, Silena as the spy and Ethan and Chris as his lieutenants

Al and Percy secretly meet up a lot. They're dating. Luke knows this and helps/covers up for Al (also does the threatening when they need to bc he knows Al can't threaten his bf). Ethan also knows but no one knows he does. Annabeth also also knows but Percy only learns this after The Percybaster Breakup.

Yeah, so, every time they meet they slightly argue about Kronos but also brush it off quickly. Until Al tells him he'll be Kronos's host that is. Percy is obviously upset and angry. Al tells yells him he doesn't have a choice in the matter. Cue they yell at eachother and Al storms off. The next time Percy sees him is as Kronos. :)

And Hecate Percy, right?! He's the only sibling in Chb! The rest are in Ta! He fought Lou in the labyrinth instead of Ethan! He has to fight the rest in Botl and BoM! He loves his mom and knows she loves him too but they're on opposite sides!

BoM rolls around. Alabaster inherited the Earthshaker part and Kronos uses this! It's the reason Williamsburg Bridge is destroyed. And the roads of Manhattan are in shambles.

In throne room Annabeth manages to reach out to her old friend and Percy hands Al the knife. Al dies.

Except. That's whet everyone else thinks bc Poseidon, not wanting his son to die, turned him into a fish. Al is very much not impressed.

It's OK Hecate turns him back during Hoo and he joins the Argo when Hazel visits Hecate. He's so worried/scared when he learns Percy and Annabeth are in Tartarus.

Percybaster get back together during Boo

That end scene with the gods in Boo, a summary;

Al: YOU TURNED ME INTO A FISH?!?!

Poseidon: Would you rather I let you die??

The rest of the Olympians: ...we would actually.

Also Hazel and Percy bonding on magic.

Honorable mentions: Luke getting the canon Al treatment and getting exiled, Chris and Ethan death swap, the Ta massacre still happening so Percy losing almost all of his sibs.

[ralsky]

I hate how the most mysterious characters in the house is the fucking golden retriever vampire and the Dilbert-looking guy

I know that we know stuff about Nandor and it doesn't feel like he's mysterious because he's Nandor but he IS. And I know that we don't know much about Colin Robinson, because he's supposed to be this boring guy but I wanna know what he was up to before the others came along.

We know quite a lot of the human life of the other vampires and pre-house life of Guillermo :

Nadja : born in the 15th century, grew up very poor in a big family in Antipaxos, they were discriminated against because of their Gypsy blood. She lost a lot of family members (like her mom who was eaten by a bear) and the conditions she lived through made her the tough bitch we know her as. She either was turned by a vampire disguised as a serpent while she was throat-singing or by the Baron Afanas and chased off by her family and the villagers of her island. We know she's interested in fashion and music (songwriter and singer).

Laszlo : born in 1711, grew up rich and noble in England and was brought up by his nanny. He received an education and even went to Eton from where he was kicked out. He was turned by Nadja, was in the Sherwood Club, left it, met Sigmund Freud, was a sailor, was a pornstar, was Jack the Ripper, turned Elvis Presley, wrote famous songs with Nadja and we know about his interests (music, sciences, sculpting, cinema, porn).

Guillermo : born in 1992, was raised by a single mom in a lower class household in the Bronx. He's fascinated by vampires and wants to become one since he saw Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire. He went to public schools. He was bullied through highschool with his best friend Jeremy. After highschool he went to work at a Panera Bread and met Nandor. He draws, seems to like Lego and watching TV and movies.

And then we have the other two :

Colin Robinson : born in 1921, apparently had a relatively normal childhood with normal parents, his father was a "Rupaul-type" person and his mother was boring and still is and we met his grandma once. He's 100% white. He likes his roommates, belly dancing and sifting through human shit??

Nandor the Relentless : born in 1262,had a mom and dad, was a soldier then a general in the Ottoman Empire, trained in the Al-Qolanudar army and became Supreme Viceroy of Al-Qolanudar at 17. Had a horse, Jahan, considered best friend that he had to eat to survive. Ransacked and pillaged many villages (including Nadja's) and was nicknamed "the Relentless" from said pillagings. Had 37 wives, was turned at some point and his wives left him. Was driven out of his country by peasants. He likes reading, dancing and basketball.

THAT'S ALL WE FUCKING KNOW.

And we don't even know if he was a Viceroy before or after training in the army. I have being saying lies like "oh Nandor was so good he rose through the ranks, he came from nothing blablabla" we don't know if he was born noble or peasant. We don't know how, why or when he was turned. We don't know any hindsight on how he felt in the army or what he did as a Viceroy or what he did after he was driven out THE GUY IS TOO MYSTERIOUS PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF NANDOR PLEASEPLEASEPLE-

Edit :forgot Nandor liked basketball smh

Edit2 : Laszlo told us his age in s1 I can't believe I didn't noticed the moment he said it

[limetameta]

You know for a manga that boasts having so many badass female characters i can't help but need to add OCs to Metallic Crimson because all of the female characters fall into the following categories:

A) White Seeming Soldier Lady (Riza Hawkeye, Rebecca Catalina, Maria Ross, Sheska, Olivier Mira Armstrong, Briggs Doctor*) (*military doctor ergo here and not below- plus babe doesn't even have a name)

B) White Seeming Civillian Lady (Winry, Pinako, Sarah Rockbell, Armstrong sisters (3 of them and i can't recall if they ever speak), Mrs Armstrong (we don't have a name for her), Madame Christmas, Trisha Elric*, Gracia Hughes*) (*have these gals done anything except been there for their man or their sons I would hardly count them shonen badass but I am adding them because they are female characters and they play a part)

C) White Seeming Alchemist Lady (Izumi Curtis) (lmao i thought there'd be more but all of the other alchemists in the manga are men)

D) Not Human (Martel, Lust, Nina, Nina's mom)

E) Not Amestrian* (*Ishvalans are Amestrian) (Lan Fan, Mai, The panda (tbh i just now noticed i put the panda here and not in Not Human and it's so much funnier here)

The only ones who don't fall into this category are Shan (the ONLY female speaking ishvalan in the fmab anime - SHE APPEARS SO LITTLE AND IS FORGETTABLE THAT I HAD TO GOOGLE HER) and Paninya (a one-off character)

Oh but limeta! Amestris is supposed to be Europe, that's why they're all white -

My brother in christ, Raven and Paninya are RIGHT THERE

For its time, FMAB is an incredibly diverse story with amazing female characters, but i see people still boasting them for modern standards and it's like - but there aren't, there really aren't many badass female characters at all. and if I were to take a step further and remove all of the female characters whose sole motivation is enabling or helping a man succeed then I'd cut those characters up there even further. The only ones who are genuinely badass characters with their own clear cut motivation are Pinako Rockbell (suppose if she were younger, she'd be given a man to hype and do things for but thank god she's an old wise woman archtype and therefore immune to that trope), Sarah Rockbell (selflessly saving lives and being a doctor, though sorry queen you died) and Olivier Mira Armstrong (proactively fucking shit up and with a clear motivation what she wants - but then you can also infer that Mustang is a part of her motivation because she wants to fuck his chances up of being Fuhrer lmao)

Winry in brotherhood is very waifu, very not proactive, very I'll wait for you but she still gets shit done and so she's still badass because we all know that strength is differently expressed with different characters so she's still on this list, but compared to her 03 version she's very stay at home, very support role, very all i do i do for ed and al.

Riza Hawkeye... i love her. she's my favourite character. but remove roy from her motivation and what do you get...be honest...

Madame Christmas, for the only times she does appear, she does so because she's gotta help Roy.

Gracia is a housewife :) and we know nothing about her. She is an extension of Maes Hughes. She is there because if she weren't there we wouldn't have Elicia and if we didn't have Elicia we wouldn't have the scenes where Maes boasts and hypes his family up in order to solidify his characterisation as THAT CARING DUDE HOPE NOTHING BAD - OH NO THE WIFE GUY DIED.

Make no mistake! This is not anti fmab. I've written over 300k worth of content for this fandom and I adore every single frame of that show (especially the nina tucker spliced with her dog frame, chefs kiss) But it has forced me to have to create either backstories and motivation for most of these female characters that exist outside of the men in their lives or it has forced me to create OCs that don't fall within those aforementioned categories.

Would it have been so bad, I ask, if we got an Ishvalan character who was not a monk and not in the slums waiting to die? Maybe even a female character? Would it have been so bad that we got more speaking roles for women outside of the military who aren't alchemists? Would it have been bad if we got a female character who was a State Alchemist?

Most likely yes, because Arakawa had a clear view of what she needed in order to tell her story from start to finish, but I'm not confined to such limitations and I'll make Ishvalan characters who are proactive. I'll gladly add more characterisation to our prexisting anime babes because I love that I can. I am a worldbuilder first and foremost and I love making a world that's LIVED in and having such a sanitized character list from up there is really making me not feel like it's LIVED in.

Anyway calling fmab a show filled to the brim with badass female characters is ??? an outdated take.

[felixcloud6288]

Fullmetal Alchemist Chapter 25

The only thing I really care about is the chess game so I'm going to get everything else out of the way quickly.

We now know what happened to Izumi when she opened the gate and why she's always coughing up blood.

Despite everything, Ed and Al are still just children who really miss their mom.

This is the first chapter where we get the names and ranks of Mustang's subordinates in a non-bonus chapter. We already got Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye and 2nd Lieutenant Havok, but now we know Havok's first name is Jean, and the others are Master Sergeant Kain Fuery, 2nd Lieutenant Haymans Breda, and Warrant Officer Vato Falman.

We also get some idea of their skills. Breda is a great tactician, Falman has an encyclopedic knowledge, Fuery is good with communications technology, Jean is a hard worker, and Hawkeye is an excellent sharpshooter.

This is the angriest Al has ever been.

Now onto that chess game and there is so much to talk about.

There are several inconsistencies. Just to start, the General has three rooks, but one was captured. After counting pieces, that captured rook was probably supposed to be a pawn.

From my best guess, this is the state of the board at the start of the scene.

The reason I assume the General's knight is at d7 is because it is one move away from its starting point of b8. It could have been at the other starting point g8, but that would imply the General moved the knight, castled with the rook at h8, moved his king to g7, and then moved his knight back to g8. Kd7 to f6 requires far fewer pointless steps.

Aside from the Rook at d4, all these positions could be pulled off within 1 or 2 moves for each piece. Roy and the General both castled with the rooks on the right.

Several of Roy's pieces are are inconsistent in a later panel which can't be explained by the number of moves made, meaning the author made some mistakes or Roy has been secretly moving pieces when the General wasn't paying attention.

The moves made up to this point were Black Knight to f6, an unknown move by Roy (I'm assuming knight to e5), black pawn to c5, white bishop to h6 capturing a pawn, black king to h6 capturing the bishop. Roy has a rook at e6 and a knight at e5 which would take 3 moves from my assumed layout. So I think this is what the board should have been at the start:

The only odd thing is explaining what happened to the white pawn on the a column. My guess is Roy decided to advance it heavily until it reached a5. Meanwhile the General would have moved a pawn from e7 to e6, then his knight from g7 to e7, then c6, then captured the pawn at a5. Roy would then follow by moving his rook from a1 to a5, capturing the knight and then moving it to e5 and then e6, capturing a pawn and forcing the General to castle to escape check. The General could capture the rook with the pawn at f7, but he'd rather keep it there as a safety buffer.

Here's the state of the board when Roy declared Checkmate:

If you notice, Roy doesn't actually have the General in checkmate. However, the General has lost at this point because regardless of what he does, Roy is guaranteed to win next turn. And every single way Roy can win revolves around his queen.

The General could move his king to g7, h7, or h5; or capture the knight by moving his rook to f7.

If the general captures the knight, Roy will move his queen to g6. The only thing the general can do is capture the queen by moving his king to g6, which means the bishop will capture it next turn.

If the general moves his king to g7 or h7, Roy will move his queen to g6 and every position for the king can be captured by the knight, bishop, or queen.

If the general moves to h5, Roy will move his queen to h3 and every position is covered by the queen or knight.

One final note for all the Royai shippers: The general said he wants Roy to marry his granddaughter. As revealed in one of the databooks, his granddaughter is Riza Hawkeye.

The chess screenshots were generated at lichess.org.

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[thyme-in-a-bubble]

chamomile, chapter ten

A/N: the gif in the moodboard is by @radioactive-creative-bug

summary: late night check in to see how the doctor is doing

warnings: references to 6x19, emo boi reid (someone please, I can't be the only one who just stared belting the Ayesha Erotica song💀), almost kiss, regency romance novel level yearning

word count: 873

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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Finishing up the last bit of your ginger ale, you walked determinately out of your hotel room and towards the doctor’s door. You couldn’t fight the fact anymore that this case was hitting too close to home for him. You hadn’t been the only one on the team who’d noticed. Everyone had been staring at him, watching him, and even Morgan had not so subtly had a talk with him in the bathroom. 

You had a vague idea of why it was getting to him. You had read his file and it did say a fair amount about his mom, who she was and what she was dealing with, so putting two and two together, you could see how this particular case was so difficult for him to get through. 

Softly, rhythmically, you knocked on his door and it didn’t take long for him to answer.

“Y/l/n, hey,” he greeted, sounding somewhat surprised at your presents. 

“Hi,” you flashed him a warm smile, “can I come in?”

“Um, sure,” he moved aside for you to enter.

“You’ve been quiet today,” he kept his vision low at your observation, staring at his shoes, “you have been quiet.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out and closed the door behind you.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you looked up at him, “Reid,” cocking your head to the side, “are you okay?”

“Did Morgan talk to you? Is that why you’re here?” he buried his hands in his pockets, “to check up on me?”

“No.” you shook your head and then let out a heavy sigh, “Reid, I’m here because I’m worried about you.” Scooting to the side a bit more, inviting him to sit down next to you, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about Prentiss?”

“No.” he took a seat next to you on the mattress, “I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, then what do you want? What do you need? We don’t need to talk, we can just sit here in silence and just be.”

For a moment he just sat there, staring at you, no doubt making a pro-con list in his head on whether or not he should open up his mouth. “I-… ever since what happened to Emily,” he started slowly, “I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. I feel like everything is falling apart. Everything I touch crumbles and dies and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t sleep, I concentrate. I feel useless.”

“Reid, how could you feel useless? You sweep in and save the day on every single case. Without you, we wouldn’t catch a single unsub. You’re good at everything-”

“Not everything. Have you seen me out in the field?”

“You’re not that bad,” now that you think about it he was either as good or even a bit better than you were. 

“Yeah, but I’m not good. I should be good, I wanna be good.”

“You can be if you want. It’s just a skill like any other.” Then quietly added, “If you want, I could probably get you a key to the gun range.”

“You could?”

“Have you met the guys who work down there?” you turned your body to face him more, picking one leg up off the floor and onto the bed, “Bill is nothing compared to the reporters I have to deal with on a day to day, so yes, that would probably be the easiest thing I’ve done all month.”

“Thanks,” you physically saw some of the weight being lifted off his back, “really.”

“You’re welcome. Just promise that when you become Annie Oakley you’ll teach me all your ways,” you joked, nudging him playfully in the side.

“Deal,” he chuckled lightly, catching onto your hand, making it stop its light teasing.

Then came this moment, this second where everything was calm. Everything was good. He was just holding your hand, and everything seemed possible. Getting lost in his dark eyes felt inevitable. You couldn’t fight it, not in this moment. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, coaxing you in deeper. It wasn’t till you saw him move closer, that you were ripped out of the honeycomb fantasy and back into reality. The reality where you noticed just how bloodshot his eyes were. 

Things had just gotten good again. You couldn’t slip back. You couldn’t let him break your heart again. He was hurting a needed comfort, but in doing that you would just make his proclamation that much more correct. If he touched you again, you would surely crumble and die. Even if it would feel good for a moment, it wouldn’t last. You were his friend. He wouldn’t ever see you as anything more. 

So right before his lips could touch yours, you placed your hand on his chest and whispered, “Spencer.” 

Pausing, his eyes flickered up from their view of your mouth and looked into yours.

“We can’t,” your voice shook slightly. 

It looked like you’d just poured cold water over him because he immediately straightened up, “I’m sorry…” he removed his hand from yours, “I should probably go.”

“Spencer,” you called after him as he practically bolted out the door, “this is your room.”

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© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[f1ghtsoftly]

I actually really, really dislike that radfems tend to focus on judging women for individual life choices like they’re made in a vacuum and not actually making it easier for women to make more life affirming decisions. It's easy now, when so many things are technically legal but socially and financially difficult to blind ourselves to the very real hurdles that can keep women trapped in patriarchal social structures and communities.

While it is true that choices, like partnering with a man, reinforce patriarchy we also live in a system that does everything it can to reward behavior that sets women back. As feminists, it should be our job to make it easier for women to separate and when women refuse to ask ourselves "what more could we do to make this less harrowing?" Underneath, for example, many women's refusal to stop wearing makeup, is really a refusal to forgo the social status conferred by being gender conforming and that social status isn't useless. It can help women advance in their careers, help them gain sympathy, make them more attractive to their desired partners etc etc.. While compliance with patriarchal dictates separates a woman from herself and other women, it also helps her succeed in a woman hating system.

Making feminist decisions in a patriarchy is like swimming backwards against a current. Sometimes that current is weaker or stronger and sometimes, despite a woman' best efforts she might start going backwards. As politically engaged and awakened women, we are supposed to give women tools to help make swimming against that current easier. Not forming cliques or shaming women who are struggling (if you're frustrated with a brainwashed woman, that's your sign to log off and vent to a feminist friend). Even "privileged" patriarchal aligned women are committing self harm on some level, patriarchy hurts all women. Even the ones prolonging its life with their actions.

This is also why class is such a critical feminist issue. When escape from deep poverty is reliant on a women selling her body through an advantageous marriage to a man, it's not in her self interest to forgo that option for political reasons. When childcare is so expensive in the US women are forced to rely on a partner to help them raise children. Not only are male partners more likely to make more money, they also can't get pregnant, and thus can devote themselves to their own children (this is why older women and childfree women should involve themselves in childcare). When women know living single means having to fend off disgusting and violent men, they're less likely to do it.

And yes, I know women can learn a trade and be reasonably financially sufficient but it's also better for women to diversify and organize within their chosen fields. Not only will it make women more comfortable, but it's better for female consumers. Evidence also shows that pay lowers when women enter an industry en masse so the relatively lucrative careers in the trades are only like that because women *aren't there*. Furthermore, when women decide to become mothers, they take a massive financial hit, both in the amount of time they can put into a job and the financial burden of raising children. I'm not an anti-natalist, I think women having children when they want them is a good thing and patriarchy takes a beautiful experience and makes it a way to trap women with horrible men.

When we place the entire burden of feminist actions on individual women "choosing" to not partner with men or cater to them rather then using our energy to unite to make systemic changes we ensure that our movement centers young, childless women, rather then what is demographically common. Not only do we do that, but we also exclude mothers from this movement, when mom's need to be centered.

Here is what I am not suggesting:

We confuse compassion for women unable or unwilling to risk patriarchal backlash for some feminist actions for excusing them. Trying to understand women still aligned with patriarchy won't turn you into a liberal. Makeup is still patriarchal. Dating men is still not great for you mentally, emotionally and physically. Lying about pronouns or refusing to challenge the rollback of women’s rights publicly will still create the illusion women consent to the destruction of their legal protections. That is all real. But patriarchy comes down hard on women who stand against it alone. And an online community, especially one not exactly flush with cash, can only take us so far.

Here is what I am suggesting:

We begin to reprioritize party building and policy goals. How can we make it easier to make feminist choices? What structures can we make to support separatism?

How can we organize women across varying industries against unfair wages, misogynistic standards and the political repression of feminists and feminism?

How can we develop women only networks to support mothers in childrearing?

In general, how can we make forgoing personal safety to be around men a less and less desirable option for more and more women?

In general, let's please, please start thinking in terms of systems instead of individualistically. It doesn't serve anyone but men to pick judgement over solidarity with women who aren't there yet. Stop judging women you only know through a screen and start organizing to make it easier and easier for women to live feminist lives. Put that desire into action, stop using it to make us stagnate when we need to grow aggressively.

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

The Only Exception

Written By: Josh Farro & Hayley Williams

Artist: Paramore

Released: 2009

“The Only Exception” the third single from Paramore’s brand new eyes was co-written between Hayley Williams and Josh Farro at a time when the band was a quintet, the song is a soft ballad, which provides musical diversity to the album. Hayley Williams explained to Kerrang! in 2009: “I’ve never written lyrics like this before. The first verse is about where I think the fear to be open or vulnerable started. Ever since the first story in Kerrang!, everyone has known about my family issues and domestic whatever, it’s something that’s kinda stayed with me and I’ve learned from. I played this song to my mom and there were tears. It was kind of embarrassing.” Hayley Williams told Alternative Press in 2010: “This is the first love song I’ve ever written. And even if I’ve tried in the past, this is the first one that I’m really proud of. I like that I was able to express the fact that I have always been really afraid of love – and I still am at times – but the excitement and the hope that it exists is still very evident in the lyrics. So it’s not like I’m a total cynic! Love is a good thing, kids.” In terms of its success as a single, it notably reached 24th on the US Billboard’s Top 100 and 31st on the UK’s Single Chart.

[Verse 1] When I was younger I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind He broke his own heart and I watched As he tried to reassemble it And my momma swore that she would Never let herself forget And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist [Chorus] But darling You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception [Verse 2] Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways to make it alone Or keep a straight face And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content With loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk [Chorus] Well, you are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception [Bridge] I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't Let go of what's in front of me here I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream Whoa-oh-oh [Chorus] You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception [Outro] And I'm on my way to believing Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

So This Is Love

Written By: Paul J. Smith, Al Hoffman, Mack David & Jerry Livingston

Artist: Ilene Woods & Mike Douglas for Cinderella

Released: 1950

"So This Is Love" is a 1948 song composed by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston. It was written for Walt Disney's Cinderella, in which it was performed by Ilene Woods and Mike Douglas. It is sung by the characters of Cinderella and Prince Charming as they dance with each other at the ball. Composed in 3/4 time (also known as waltz time), a secondary title, "The Cinderella Waltz", appears in parenthesis next to or beneath the song's main name on many editions of sheet music. Prior to the Hoffman, David, and Livingston trio joining the film, songs for Cinderella were written by Larry Morey and Charles Walcott, with a song entitled "Dancing on a Cloud" intended for the ball scene. However, their songs would be scrapped. The song does not appear in Disney's 2015 live-action adaptation of the film, replaced instead with 19th-century inspired waltzes and polkas written by cinematic composer Patrick Doyle. Ilene Woods also commercially recorded the song with RCA Victor in 1949 to help promote the film's release the next year. It has since been performed by artists such as Vaughn Monroe, Vera Lynn, James Ingram, and Dave Brubeck, amongst others.

[CINDERELLA] Mmmmmm Mmmmmm So this is love Mmmmmm So this is love So this is what makes life divine I'm all aglow Mmmmmm And now I know [PRINCE] And now I know [CINDERELLA & PRINCE] The key to all heaven is mine [CINDERELLA] My heart has wings Mmmmmm And I can fly [CINDERELLA & PRINCE] I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky So this is the miracle That I've been dreaming of [CINDERELLA] Mmmmmm [PRINCE] Mmmmmm [CINDERELLA & PRINCE] So this is love

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I cannot feel sympathy for Wanda. She always mess up things and gets away with it without consequences while characters like Loki and Bucky are blamed for everything.

Wow, I have to respectfully disagree with you there. You say she doesn't face any consequences for her actions? Let's see:

Most people claim she joined Hydra... but they didn't know it was Hydra (x):

Maximoff and her brother took part in various riots to drive the Americans out of their home. What the twins did not realize was that the riots were orchestrated by HYDRA [...] In 2014, during one such riot, the Maximoffs were among the protesters approached by List, who offered them a way to achieve the power needed to end war in Sokovia

Wanda and Pietro didn't know they were joining them because Hydra wasn't going around Sokovia telling people who they were and what they were doing - the Americans were there, it would have been pretty stupid of them to announce themselves, right? Both siblings were told they would be "saving" Sokovia and "ending the war", that's why they joined.

They both blamed Stark and the Avengers for the bombings and the idea was always to go after them, no one else, which is where all the mind fuckery and the attacks come in - those were wrong? Hell yeah they were. Then Ultron lies to them and the very first moment Wanda sees he wants world destruction (x) they both leave him:

Wanda: "How could you?" Ultron: "How could I what?" Wanda: "You said we would destroy the Avengers, make a better world." Ultron: "It will be better." Wanda: "When everyone is dead?" Ultron: "That is not... The human race will have every opportunity to improve." Pietro: "And if they don't?" Ultron: "Ask Noah." Wanda: "You are a madman."

They meet with Steve, he asks them to help the people and they both do:

At which point they switch allegiances and join them. The consequence of all that? Well...

I'd say that's a pretty big loss.

Other fans claim she killed oh so many people in Lagos. Except the one who killed them was Crossbones not her. You see how many people were there? (you can't see him but Steve is among them too)

She saved all those lives and yet the media only talked about the deaths of those in the building, and instead of blaming it on Crossbones they pinned it on her, but it wasn't her fault at all. Her reward? (Illegal) house arrest and the Accords. More consequences for her.

When she refuses to stay and sign those Accords (documents that, let's not forget, take away all her rights as an individual) and she joins Steve and all the others with the only purpose of going together as a team to fight Zemo, Stark et al show up and start a fight. More consequences? Here 👇

Oddly enough she doesn't go after Ross or the guards who were keeping her or those who put that collar on her, in IW once she's out she's back with Vision living a peaceful life (albeit as a fugitive of the law. There, another consequence), she tries to fight but loses Vision and dies. She returns in EG and all she does is almost kill Thanos single-handedly.

I'm not covering WandaVision here because this ask is already long and I talked about it here but yeah, more pain and more grief and more consequences for her. Oh and I'm ignoring MoM because that movie has her completely ooc.

So I'm sorry but I can't agree that she "gets away" with what she does. She makes mistakes, she's wrong sometimes, she does things she shouldn't do at all (and no one justifies her for that) but she pays the price every time: she loses Pietro, she loses Vision, she's imprisoned with a shock collar, she has to hide away as a criminal... what else is she supposed to go through?

And when it comes to Loki and Bucky, I agree that they don't have any sort of narrative protection and both their series handled them so badly - and it would have been great to have a show like WV for them that explored their pain and grief and contextualized them as well as it did her - but all this is the writers' fault. They should have had the same she got, but that's not a reason to hate on her, ask Marvel to treat them well instead.