#she is of course losing her shit throughout. but that's also par for the course

[emberwritesinsight]

Episode of RGU where Anthy slips Nanami shrooms and Nanami straight up never notices she's on drugs because

Nanami doesn't know what shrooms are

Nothing she's seeing is that much weirder than the contents of a typical Nanami episode

[flightfoot]

What's your favorite Rick Riordan series between Percy Jackson, The Kane Chronicles, Heroes of Olympus, Magnus Chase and Trials of Apollo? (or like, if you can't choose, what do you like about the series you've read?)

Trials of Apollo, no contest. 

I liked Percy Jackson a lot, it was VERY well done. Percy was hilarious and relatable, but also just super awesome, his dynamic with Annabeth was fun to read, along with his dynamic with Grover, the quests had a lot of entertaining encounters, and it had some well-executed themes that tied in with the overall conflict nicely, mostly about how parents’ and adults’ negligence and even abuse can harm their kids, the overall effects of that, and just... generally trying to get the parents to shape up, as well as the effects of not respecting others in general, like with how the minor gods and by extension, their children, are treated by the Olympians. It comes up with Percy’s relationships with both Gabe and Poseidon, and most of the campers’ relationships with their godly parents, and that’s a MAJOR cause behind the entire conflict, and one of the major things that Percy tries to make better at the end of the last book.

Kane Chronicles... it’s been awhile since I read it. I don’t remember it having as prevalent a theme as Percy Jackson did, though there was definitely social commentary on racism, with how Carter was sometimes treated, and with how people had trouble comprehending that Carter and Sadie were full siblings, since while both are mixed, Carter’s pretty dark-skinned, while Sadie looks White. It was more of a background thing though, not a major plot point. I liked the characters and the plot fine, they were entertaining, and it was good overall - but it’s not a series I’ve felt a pressing need to reread either. Only real complaint I have about it is the romances centering around Sadie. Her and Anubis were kinda cute, but it would’ve been a lot cuter if she was older than 12-13, and he wasn’t a 4000-year-old god who looked, acted, and was treated as a 16-year-old. And then the whole thing with making it a love triangle with Walt who’s ALSO 16 and Rick’s method of “solving” the love triangle... look honestly I just would’ve been a lot more ok with the romantic shenanigans there if Sadie wasn’t a middle-schooler throughout it. Overall still good though, I’d be down for an adaptation of it, but it’s one of the few cases where I hope something IS flat-out changed to make the romances more palatable.

Heroes of Olympus is where I originally fell off of the Riordanverse. There was just so long between books and I could barely remember what happened between them, and with most of the books being like parts of the same quest (especially books 3, 4, and 5), unless you were constantly refreshing your memory of them via fandom, they were hard to follow, especially with several main characters and different character dynamics to keep track of. When I went back and read the whole set of them though, getting back into the series, it was WAY better, since I could read them as a coherent whole. I could tell he was struggling to juggle all the characters, but I thought he did a fairly decent job of it for what it was. I ended up liking all the characters - ESPECIALLY Leo, I thought he was great and relatable and funny, but I also wanted to hug him - and while the quest could drag on a bit at times, there were some interesting parts there. And Percy and Annabeth’s journey through Tartarus was GREAT. 

The themes for Heroes Of Olympus overall were pretty much the same as with Percy Jackson, but with less emphasis I think. It was mostly just “the gods (mostly Zeus, really) are being crappy again, but this time we have enough support among ourselves to manage, except for when a god is technically required to defeat a Giant”. A lot more emphasis was placed on individual character arcs and circumstances, which I think was a good choice, since with so many main characters, they needed more concentrated character development in order to put them up to par with Percy and Annabeth. Plus it allowed Rick to still go into some different themes a bit, like racism with Hazel, trauma with Leo, insecurity with Frank, etc, in a way that felt natural and relevant. It helped that they were broken up into different books for their introductions, so not everything was dumped in at once.

The ending of Heroes of Olmypus... yeah the final battle with the GIants was lame as all hell, and honestly the quest ended up feeling a bit like busywork, but screw it, I did LOVE one part of the ending. The imagery of big, bad Gaia, who even Zeus is so scared of he just wants to hide away with his head in the ground, physically manifesting and being about to take everyone out, everyone losing hope... and then screaming as Festus appears and snatches her up into the sky as Leo gives a shit-eating grin and hurls fireballs at her while insulting her the whole time is just GREAT. I always giggle, and I honestly found it a lot more memorable than the Kronos fight, even if it was technically less epic. It seemed fitting for her to be taken out in such an embarrassing way, by the boy she’d personally taken the most from.

Magnus Chase... yeah that’s the only one I didn’t finish. Quick note: its been over a year since I tried it, so I’m operating off of memory here. I wanted to like it, and after reading through Heroes of Olympus (which i originally stopped reading after Mark of Athena) and Trials of Apollo, I was all hyped up for more Riordanverse... and was disappointed. The basic elements were there, and the writing itself wasn’t bad, but... well, I never really got attached to most of the characters this time, I didn’t find the quest very interesting, and... well, you see how I mentioned about the themes in the earlier reviews? I thought Rick bit off more than he could chew with Magnus Chase, at least with the first book. (I slogged through the first book, got a hundred pages into the second book to see whether Alex, who I’d heard a lot of hype about, could save it, thought Alex was only ok but not someone who saved the book, and called it quits). 

So in Magnus Chase, Rick went DEEP into the social commentary on a lot of disparate subjects, trying to really tackle homelessness, child abuse (because no duh, that’s pretty much a staple, I think the only of his series that DOESN’T have major themes around that is Kane Chronicles), Islamophobia, ableism, and... I’m having trouble thinking of the exact term for it, but Blitzen was heavily looked down upon and derided for wanting to make fashionable armor and just being into fashion in general, so... I think it’s supposed to commentary on making fun of people for having interests that are generally seen as feminine? I guess? I dunno, it was definitely social commentary on SOMETHING, but I think the dwarves having their own particular culture here hurt whatever Rick was trying to say, since social commentary is very much tied to the culture it’s in, and we only have a small taste of dwarven culture, at least in the first book. 

In any case, all these things are fine to do social commentary on, but when you’re trying to go in-depth and really address them, it helps if they’re more tied in with the overall conflict in the book, and if each issue has room to breathe. As it was, it kinda felt to me like the characters were being paraded from location to location to confront some different social issue. I just thought it was too much, too crammed into one book, and the overall conflict had pretty much nothing to do with that. Like, at the end of the book Rick tried to tie it together with some sort of “we’re a band of misfits” message, and... well, a message based on NOT fitting in with society, isn’t one that’s very satisfying or cohesive. And the individual issues, while there’s certainly cross-sectionality between, aren’t intrinsically linked, so... they just don’t mesh together very well. Not so many, all mashed into one book. Plus I just didn’t care for any of the gods, and the only characters I liked were Magnus and Sam. Blitz and Hearthstone... they were just sort of “there” for me.

I can see why people like Magnus Chase, and it’s not BAD by any means, but it just wasn’t for me. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it at some point, but I’m not super optimistic about it. As it was, I just ended up looking up the parts where Magnus met with Annabeth and read those.

Trials of Apollo though, I ADORE. Apollo was hilarious (along with the books in general), it had a pretty focused message about child abuse and abuse in general, along with how a privileged position can blind you from the travesties that are going on around you, or that you yourself cause, and I just thought the themes worked very well. Rick went more in-depth this time on the exact consequences of child abuse and the ways that a parent could abuse and manipulate their child, something that wasn’t covered as much in his earlier series, as those were more based around neglect. I’m a sucker for a good redemption arc, and I was really impressed with how it was kinda slipped in with Apollo. Like, he didn’t even know he NEEDED one, and the good guys weren’t especially pressing him on that point, it’s a realization he slowly came to over the course of several books. And you can clearly tell that he’s conceited and has issues, but isn’t actually malicious... and slowly the reader comes to the realization that he has hidden depths, that not even HE knew he had. It’s really interesting how he did some pretty bad things (or DIDN’T do, a lot of it has to do with inaction and just being uncaring), but he never comes off as being like, evil. He comes off as being an arrogant, narcissistic person at first, but then slowly finding out that beneath that is a lot of pain and trauma, and part of that persona he’s built up has been to deal with this. Watching him slowly change and grow and discover himself during the series, in a way he never had before... it’s just amazing to read. Also puts a nice cap on the Greco-Roman saga, in that the past two series had a heavy emphasis on how the gods didn’t care enough and had to have their hands forced a lot, and Apollo sort of acting as a stand-in for those other gods, showing that yes, they CAN change for the better - something that most of the gods, and even other immortals, didn’t think was possible, even as they did it.

Well that was super long. But yeah, I have strong feelings on the Riordanverse, and Trials of Apollo is far and away my favorite.

[waltongoggins]

i finished season 2 of tuatv and im confident in saying it did not change my overall opinion of this show (: the sad part is even things i liked about it are constantly undercut by everything i hate and the things i hate typically overshadow the things i love. spoilers -

where do i start? with allison because it’s on my mind. i almost thought for a moment i would be wrong about her naturally healing vocal chords and that maybe there would be a point to it all but of course, there wasn’t. her voice really does just come back on its own!!! and her dilemma throughout the season (at least early parts) of whether or not she should use her powers/the moral or ethical impacts of it are literally just. the same as s1. you’re telling me she gets her throat cut, almost dies, has her literal voice taken away by a white woman, just to immediately forgive her and have the whole entire thing swept under the run with literally ZERO LASTING IMPACT WHATSOEVER???????????? THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF CUTTING HER GODDAMN THROAT IF YOU WEREN’T GOING TO INCLUDE HER IN THE ASSASSINATION PLOT OR EVEN DO THE BARE MINIMUM WITH IT? EVEN HAVE HER FUCKING /REFLECT/ ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HER????????? this is a big big big big big huge problem i have with this show.

and what about vanya lmao. what was that shit with harlan. the way they just project whatever the hell they want onto her powers doesn’t make a lick of sense i’m sorry. so she can suck the life from people and she can apparently breathe life into people and also transfer her powers and also take those powers away? am i just delusional or isn’t that what happened? is there something more to harlan was it supposed to be implied that he is also one of the “extraordinary babies” and if so how the fuck does that work? i can’t tell if this is purposefully ambiguous or if its just really shitty writing because it seems par for the course ESPECIALLY in the ways they handle vanya’s seemingly magical and ever changing fucking abilities.

the “climax” of the finale with harlan didn’t make any sense to me and it really felt like they were just trying to suck up screen time it was resolved so quickly and easily and felt literally pointless. but more so than that, they really introduced this autistic child as a prop (at best) and some kind of vessel for another character (at worst)?

OH. AND THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE IS THAT THEY TEASED CARMICHAEL IN THE TRAILER ONLY FOR THE HANDLER TO MAGICALLY SURVIVE A BULLET TO THE HEAD???? SO THE /ONE/ REDEEMING FACTOR OF S2 WAS A LIE AND THEN LIKE SALT IN THE WOUND THEY GIVE ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SCENES TO HER STUPID ASS INSTEAD OF FIVE??? this was almost it for me, this was almost when i just rage quit the whole season. i hate the handler, she is indicative of one of my biggest tuatv issues which is quirky aesthetics used in place of actual originality and that ~weirdness they try to market themselves with. but worse than that the antisemitic stereotyping is so ugly and ruins the entire concept of the commission for me.

also i know i made a small post about this earlier but the fact that they had to explain allison and luther’s incest to vanya in a ~cute or ~funny scene and then defaulted to the “oh we aren’t BIOLOGICALLY RELATED SO ITS OKAY” argument is disgusting to me.

then this thing with diego’s power which is apparently just some kind of blatant telekinesis he pulls out of his ass which i guess???? its the only way to explain how he can curve what he throws but its so stupid and i’m never not going to be mad about the way they chop up the characters and rewrite whatever they want to such an exhaustive degree. i hate it. i hate it so much.

there WERE some things i enjoyed--a lot of the sibling interaction was nice, some of the stuff with diego. i think the only time i felt genuine joy was watching luther and the fives together. the tiny five second part at the end where vanya and diego lean on each other, both grappling with losing their loved ones in one way or another, made me pretty emo ngl, but it won’t make up for the way they erased that dynamic. anyway.

the fact that the show gets to introduce sparrow academy and steve gets to tell more of the story before the actual source material upsets me to such a degree i cannot explain. it almost feels like they’re going to skip over hotel oblivion entirely. i don’t even care anymore, i have to accept the fact that this show drains and exhausts me more than it gives me any kind of joy, and that i may not be tuning in for another season though considering how deeply it looks like they’ve diverted now it might be easier to accept as it’s own entity (but probably not). i hate thinking about what all in this season might have been pulled from future comics. i hate knowing that those storylines will be ripped apart and spoiled before they get a chance to flourish on their own.

simply put, it does not spark joy.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Hol Horse

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So last year I thought it was a good idea to try and review all of the enemy Stand users in Stardust Crusaders in a totally random order. The results were… mixed. Some of them I think came out okay, but others? Not so much. One of them was just an entire backhanded attack against some guy who decided to say “No one likes your analyses” because I think ProJared was a creep. It was, quite frankly, a mess, and I never bothered to revisit it and never thought I would, even though I still hadn’t covered the glorious, wonderful human being who is Hol Horse.

Well, now, after playing Heritage for the Future and All-Star Battle as well as just becoming a bit more knowledgeable on JJBA, I’ve decided to not only give Hol Horse his dues, but also at least briefly go back over or cover the other Stand users and give them a rating or an updated rating, as the case may be. So buckle in, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s all gonna start with everyone’s favorite incompetent henchman.

Hol Horse is probably one of the most amazing characters Araki has ever created. Hol Horse is in possession of a powerful Stand, The Emperor, which is literally a magical gun that fires bullets he can control the trajectory of. By all accounts, Hol Horse should be the single most dangerous foe that the Crusaders face, more than even Vanilla Ice. This guy should be able to shoot them all dead without a second thought! There’s just one tiny little caveat:

Hol Horse is a fucking moron.

This man is cowardly, incompetent, and just the punching bag of cruel misfortune as all his plans constantly go awry and he is constantly knocked on his ass. And yet, Hol Horse is still the most beloved enemy Stand User of Stardust Crusaders, and it’s not hard to see why. Because despite all of his bumbling, Hol Horse just oozes a sort of cool you just don’t see every day.

(For best results, listen to this the whole time while reading the following).

Motivation/Goals: Hol Horse is one of the few henchmen of DIO who is motivated purely by his own greed… at least, at first. Eventually he has his ass handed to him one too many times, and he decides to try and assassinate DIO. This goes about as well as you’d expect, and Hol Horse – not just part of it, the ENTIRE Horse – is so scared out of his mind that he decides, yep, loyalty to DIO is the way to go! It doesn’t work out, but hey, he tried, right?

Performance: Imami Williams gives Hol Horse that raspy, American charm he needs in the anime adaptation. With his voice and the animation combined, we get to see our favorite smarmy sharpshooter who can’t shoot for shit shoot his shot and miss every time, and it is simply glorious.

Final Fate: Hol Horse kidnaps Boingo and forces him to work with him to finally get his revenge! With the prophetic skills of Thoth and the raw damage that can be done with Emperor, there’s no way they could lose! And yet, as is always the case with Thoth, things go horrendously awry and Hol Horse, despite having the ability to control the trajectory of his bullets, ends up shooting himself and knocking him out of part 3 for good.

Best Scene: Really, just the entirety of the episodes where he teams up with Boingo, especially when he tries holding up Polnareff. Considering what comes after and what came before it, it’s just the dose of lighthearted fun needed before you watch all of your favorite characters get brutally murdered by DIO and Vanilla Ice,. 

Best Quote: There is only one line it could be, and it’s Hol Horse’s response to Thoth’s suggestion he kick a woman in the neck: “Listen, Boingo... I am the nicest man in the world. I have girlfriends everywhere. I might lie to a woman, but I'll never hit them! It doesn't matter how ugly they are! Because I respect women!”

That’s right, everyone. Hol Horse drinks Respect Women Juice.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hol Horse is simply astounding. The character is such a colossal screwup that he shouldn’t be as good as he is… yet he is. The dude is gifted with the most incredible power imaginable, and yet somehow he is never able to do a goddamn thing with that power! You control where the bullets go, dude! How can you not hit anything?! It’s interesting how his cowardice and lack of motivation makes him a perfect representation of the inverted Emperor tarot card, but hey, tarot motifs are par for the course with the Stand users.

But there’s something charming to how pathetic Hol Horse is. He’s always plying second banana, he’s a dirty coward who turns tail and runs when things aren’t looking good for him, he never wins a single battle, he didn’t even kill the one guy it seemed like he killed… but throughout it all he still has this sort of smarmy charisma to him that makes him impossible to hate. It’s no wonder this guy has girls all over the world, because he is a world-class charmer. There’s also how Hol Horse is just a character who really, really lives by his own personal philosophy – that is to say, he always likes to be #2, never going into a fight without backup. It’s kind of refreshing to see him always stick by this, even to his own detriment; it’s hard to hate a man who’s principled to that degree. And, of course, this man respects women. Good on him.

It helps that Hol Horse’s inexplicable popularity has led to him getting his time to shine in outside media. Heritage for the Future has two versions of him, his regular form and one that partners him with Boingo, and in skilled hands his Emperor finally gets to live up to its deadly potential. And he’s no slouch in his return appearance in All-Star Battle, and what’s more impressive is in that game he is part of the base roster while Joseph and Iggy, two of the main heroes, are relegated to DLC! You heard me right: the bumbling cowboy who did not win a single fight or even come close to it and spent a lot of time shooting himself managed to beat out out two iconic heroes from the same part onto the roster! Horsey Man must be doing something right.

As this video shows, Hol Horse is one of the most influential characters in the JJBA franchise, having helped to shape the franchise going forward and helped to inspire the traits that made beloved characters like Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli, and Yoshikage Kira as legendary as they are. Hell, Hol Horse is just so awesome he almost got to be a protagonist, but Araki decided that Horsey was too similar to my favorite big-titty Frenchman, Polnareff. This means Hol Horse never got his time to shine as a hero, and so stayed a villain til the end… but hey, can he really be that sad if he gets a 10/10 on Psycho Analysis?

Actually, maybe he wouldn’t like that. He likes to play second fiddle to others, after all. But I guess that’s just the curse with these JoJo villains who want to not stand out; they always end up being the best and most memorable characters.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the best of the best out of the way, it’s time for...

Psycho Analysis: DIO’s Other Henchmen

I’m just gonna give my brief thoughts on these guys. Most of them are pretty one-note oneshots, but there are a few who rise above that and manage to be something else entirely. These guys were a learning experience for Araki, and his enemy Stand users of the week definitely improved with later parts, with Vento Aureo really cranking it up to 11. 

But for now, we’re stuck with these guys.

Gray Fly: I actually stand by my opinion from my original review of him; he’s nothing incredibly memorable, but he’s a solid start to the adventure and he is directly responsible for diverting the journey onto the course it ended up going on. Without him, things would have likely played out far differently. A 5/10 is still a good score for him.

Fake Captain Tenille: He actually gets bumped down to a 2/10, due to my changes in how things are scored. He’s not amusing enough to be in the “So bad it’s good” category of the other 3s, he’s just really lame and forgettable, and he still somehow manages to lose when he has the advantage. What a dweeb.

Forever: If you think the monkey boat fight is dropping in score, you’re mistaken. Forever remains at an 8/10 for being such a delightfully weird curveball that helps set the tone for the franchise to follow.

Devo: One of the weirder playable character choices from Heritage for the Future, and certainly not one I like too much; he’s also a random event that is pretty useful in All-Star Battle’s online campaign, so that’s a good mark for him. If nothing else, he gave a good showing of Polnareff’s skills when under pressure, so… yeah. I think a 5/10 is good enough.

Rubber Soul: This review I regret because I was backhandedly responding to that guy who weirdly decided to bring up my distaste for ProJared in a review of Arabia Fats and Kenny G. I do mostly stand by what I said; Rubber Soul is one of the more amusing minor foes, if only because of his ridiculous performance as Kakyoin. Still, it really sucks he was just a clone character in Heritage for the Future… put he gets points for  having the iconic cherry-licking as a taunt. 6/10 is where he remains.

J. Geil: Again, my opinion hasn’t changed: J. Geil is a mountain of wasted potential, but at the very least he makes for a good antagonist for his brief appearance and hey, he’s the one who helped bring us the beautiful hunk of man that is Hol Horse, so I’d feel bad giving him less than a 7/10.

Nena: I honestly think Nena is one of the most boring Stand users of the part, which is sad because her episode gives Joseph the spotlight. She’s just really gross and uninteresting, and you’ll likely forget her after her episode is over. 2/10.

ZZ: ZZ is not particularly great, and his design is just there to be a joke, but it’s hard to totally hate a guy who manages to roll references to Christine, Duel, and the album cover for Eliminator by his namesake into one. I think he’s more of a 4/10, but probably on the higher end there. He’s not great, but he has enough going for him to keep me from hating him.

Enya: So if I thought that J. Geil was a waste of potential, I feel this even more so for his mother Enya. Despite being hyped up as this big, intimidating right-hand woman to DIO early on, she gets one appearance where her Stand is defeated by Star Platinum pulling a power out his ass and then is unceremoniously killed by Steely Dan of all people. I will give her this: her interactions with Polnareff are absolutely hilarious. But when all you have going for is some jokes, don’t be surprised when you end up with a 6/10, which you’re pretty much only getting because even despite the mountains of wasted potential you’re really not that bad.

She do be looking hot in the OVA tho.

Steely Dan: My opinion is unchanged; he’s a solid 7/10 oneshot douchebag. Nothing more, nothing less. His level in the PS1 game seriously blows, though.

Arabia Fats: I was too hard on this guy. While I meant everything I said, and his episode is boring filler, does it really make him a bottom of the barrel all-time worst villain? No. It just makes him a crappy joke character. 2/10.

Mannish Boy: I regret not getting to this guy last time, because aside from Forever he’s probably one of the most insane Stand user of the part, seeing as he is an infant. Like, he’s just an evil baby who can kill people in their dreams. And he gets defeated by being force fed his own crap. Much like Forever, it’s fun to speculate where exactly DIO found this guy; did he just go to a nursery and start jabbing babies with the Stand arrow? Did he meet this guy at a Cairo night club? What exactly is Mannish Boy’s origin? He’s just so utterly and hilariously inexplicable. He’s definitely a 7/10; he doesn’t quite have the shock factor that Forever did before him, but let’s not pretend an evil talking baby Stand user isn’t one hell of a weird twist.

Cameo: This guy really lives up to his name; his Stand is the one that gets the most screentime, with the actual Stand user being relegated to a – you guessed it – cameo appearance at the end of the fight. Thankfully, his Stand is an enjoyable take on jerkass genies and gives a pretty sad and disturbing episode that not only features my man Polnareff, but also marks the point where Avdol returns and brings “Hell 2 U!” I think he deserves at least a 7/10, even if this is mainly for Judgment. Still, a Stand is a representation of the user’s soul, so I think it works out.

Here’s the Stand:

And here’s the man behind it:

Midler: Midler is one of the single most interesting characters from the pre-Egypt half of Stardust Crusaders, and is the point where Stand users really started to get interesting. Her Stand, High Priestess, has a really funky and unique design, and her battle serves as the final roadblock before the Crusaders arrive in Egypt. Despite never appearing onscreen, with only her unconscious body being shown at the end of the fight in a way that obscures her, she got to appear in Heritage for the Future with an awesome sexy belly dancer design and a badass moveset that makes her a really fun character to play as. Taking everything into account, I think she just barely scrapes into the bottom of the 8/10 pool, though really this is mainly for her playable appearance.

N’Doul: My opinions really haven’t changed on him. He’s still an 8/10.

Oingo & Boingo: These guys are, in a word, hilarious. In between the grueling, brutal fight with N’Doul and the later fights in the part, these guys bring some much needed levity to the proceedings. Oingo gets an entire episode where he just completely bumbles about as he attempts to impersonate Jotaro to assassinate the Crusaders, failing at every turn and only managing to blow himself up in the end. Boingo fares a little better, eventually getting roped in to Hol Horse’s scheme to get some revenge, which leads to one of the funniest episodes of the entire series as Hol Horse and Oingo hold up Polnareff. I think they collectively get an 8/10 for being two of the funniest Stand users in the part. They even get their own unique end credits in the anime (with Hol Horse joining in on the fun when he teams up with Boingo)!

Anubis: Again, my opinion is unchanged, though I must say him having technically three playable appearances in Heritage for the Future does make me have at least a little more fondness for him. Black Polnareff, Chaka, and Khan are all amusing characters to play as and all have some awesome theme music. Introducing the concept of Stands being able to exist independently of their Original user is pretty neat, as well as the idea of a Stand that can switch users like it does. 7/10 is still what I’d give it, but I think that it’s pretty telling that this is probably the “weakest” character in the Egypt arcs in terms of being a villain, and yet he’s still pretty cool.

Mariah: Completely unchanged. She still deserves an 8/10, because her episode is hilarious, her playable appearance in Heritage for the Future is a blast, and she’s just really frikkin’ hot. I’m not gonna lie, she’s probably my second favorite enemy Stand user out of the Egyptian ones. I may or may not want her to step on me.

Alessi: I’m going to be honest here: Alessi is my favorite of the Egyptian Stand users. He’s an ax crazy coward with pedophile undertones who is just an utterly demented and sick individual with a seriously intriguing Stand that de-ages its victims. It’s a damn shame he never crossed paths with Joseph and de-aged him, but when he’s just such a hilarious and hateable lunatic with an incredibly fun playable appearance in Heritage for the Future (complete with awesomely creepy theme music!) it’s hard for me to give Alessi anything less than a 9/10. Attaboy!

Daniel J. D’Arby: My opinion is honestly unchanged, but I think I’d bump him down to an 8/10.

Pet Shop: Again, unchanged really. It’s hard to give a character as busted as he is in Heritage for the Future anything less than a 9/10 any way you slice it.

Telence T. D’Arby: Opinion unchanged, 8/10. I don’t have much else to say here, besides Xander Mobus rocks.

Kenny G: See Arabia Fats above. I got irrationally mad over a dumb joke character. He’s not going above a 2/10, but he’s not worth really getting mad about.

Vanilla Ice: I still think he’s the only enemy Stand user besides Hol Horse who deserves his 10/10. My opinion of him remains unchanged, but I would like to say he’s easily one of my favorite characters to play as in All-Star Battle.

Nukesaku: Ok, he’s not an enemy Stand user, he’s just some weird vampire… zombie… thing. Still, I feel he’s at least worth briefly mentioning, if only because he’s probably the only easily-defeated joke villain Araki did from the first three parts who is particularly memorable. Wired Beck and Doobie are really not all that memorable, but Nukesaku at least elicits a few chuckles – he even gets cameos in Heritage for the Future as well as getting to be a stage hazard in All-Star Battle. For what he is, I think he deserves a 5/10.

And with all these enemies taken care of, that just leaves one more Stand user to talk about.. one whose Psycho Analysis has been sitting in my drafts for a year now...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #303

“if i can’t be loved, then i’ll be hated”

What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Candy corn or conversation hearts? They're both gross, don't make me pick between garbage. Do you own a lot of earrings? Not really after I weeded them out before moving. What did your backpack in high school look like? I dare say I had the dopest backpack of them all. It looked like a massive Ouija board, and the zipper was the planchet (sp?). Have you ever been to a rave? Nah. What is your favorite art medium? I have a particular fondness of oil paintings. They tend to look so smooth, and you can achieve incredible realism with them. How far away is the nearest hospital from you? Not even five minutes, I think. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My mom. What is your favorite car color? Pink, duh. How did you learn to type? We actually had a class specifically for typing in middle school. What style of wedding dress do you want? I don't have that set in stone yet, but I really do love ballgown dresses with long trains as well as a-lines with a moderate train. I love a lot, except really for mermaid dresses. Do you fit into any stereotype, or are you non-stereotypical? I don't know if I fit perfectly into any and really don't care. Would you want your first child to have your hair color? ???? I don't care about their hair lol?????? It would depend on the hypothetical father, in which case I'd probably find it cute, but this is so, so unimportant. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? Yeah, it just feels good and flowy to me. What is your favorite hair color? Natural? Probably blonde with natural darker undertones throughout. I like blonde hair because it's far easier to dye, haha. Now, if we're including DYED hair, rose gold or pastel pink is *chefs kiss* What is your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue, probz. Would you put your birthday on a different day if you could? Nah, it's fine where it is. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Valentine's. Do you vent on social media a lot? NOOOOOOOO. I barely post ANYTHING about myself on social media because I feel like I'm being annoying, self-absorbed, find anything I do actually interesting, or don't want people to think I'm a whiner. All I ever really do on social media is share or reblog funny shit, things I love, stuff I find relatable or inspirational, educational, important for whatever reason, etc... Do you have abusive parents? I am very thankful to say no. Is your house haunted? Doesn't seem like it. What's your favorite thing to watch on YouTube? I'm in a real WoW-related phase lately... Watching my favorite streamers, gold farming guides, and other various aspects of the game. What are five health problems that you have? I talk about the mental issues enough, so I guess I'll talk about physical stuff here. Uhhh I have very low blood pressure (it's a med side effect), I have extremely weak legs following muscle atrophy, I have bad tremors, especially in my hands (amplified by medication once again), maybe TMI but we're adults here and it's a legit issue that I have chronic and severe conspitation, aaaand then of course I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) to a fucking outrageous and also humiliating degree. Ooooonce again as a prescription side effect. This answer made meds sound kinda bad, I know, but really, I'd rather have the will to live and just have to deal with these than want to die everyday and not. Do you have surgery coming up? No, let's keep it that way until I lose enough weight and when I am 110% getting loose skin removal. Which family member(s) do you look the most like? My sisters, ig. People say my mom also, but I honestly don't see it. Have you ever cried while watching a YouTube video? Yeah, usually just in let's plays, but it's happened for other reasons. Are you missing a website that just shut down? Nah, none that I know of. NO. FUCKING WAIT. So, when my laptop was fixed, a LOT of shit was wiped from it, and that included all of my goddamn Lightroom editing presets. The site they were from no longer exists, so I had to use a different, pretty sub-par one to install at least a few because it helps me get a start on editing the photograph and leaning towards the "vibe" I want before spending like 15+ minutes tuning it myself. Would you be a barefoot bride? No. Which would you rather name your daughter: Eliana, Echo, Emerald, or Ellery? Ohhh, I like these. I think I prefer "Eliana," but "Echo" is a close second. "Ellery" is nice, but it sounds too much like "celery" to name my kid that lmao. Which would you rather name your son: Maverick, Matthew, or Moses? Ugh, none, honestly. But "Matthew" wins. When was the last time you gave a speech? Like a *legit" speech? Probably not since uhhh... I guess when I argued my disability case at court? Does that even count? Have you ever been in a stampede? Well, never seen this'n in a survey before, so good job, lol. No. If you were a fairy, what color would you like your wings to be? It would depend on what I wore, really. And my hair. But probably light pink. Would you rather name your son Storm, Skylar, Sorin, or Solomon? "Sorin." "Skylar" is SO Southern, and "Solomon" sounds like the creepy kid all his classmates avoid and I ain't putting my kid through that. Did you read a devotional this morning? Not my jam. Would you rather be named Arizona, Alaska, Cali, or Georgia? Hm... "Alaska" is actually kinda cool???? And I'm white as fuck so lol????? I wouldn't mind to nickname of "Ally," anyway. Are you repulsed by ugly reptiles? lololol bro get out Did all your friends know about your first crush or was it a secret? I was definitely secretive and shy about it when I first started getting crushes. Do you ever feel insecure about going out without makeup? I feel insecure either way, so... How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? So, this is a hard question to answer. My mom was born with brown hair, but it darkened to almost black; only her daughter Katie inherited that. By some genetic magic, Dad had blond hair as a kid, but it also turned black. Like... how?????? I was born with dirty blonde hair like him, and mine turned an average brown with age. My immediate sisters have always had brown hair. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft is ballin'. Would you ever want to be famous and sign autographs? Ha, the idea of signing autographs is awful... I can't physically write very long without my carpal tunnel flaring up. Do you like your shirt to be loose or tight? LOOSE. Especially as a bigger person, tight shirts are just really uncomfortable. What is your favorite Spanish name? I don't know nearly enough to answer this. Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? I think Asia is, in general, more interesting and prettier as a whole, but I guess I'm drawn to European culture being more like my own and there are specific locations I'm interested in, like Germany or Scotland. So to answer the question, I guess Europe wins. Are there any Asians in your family? I don't believe so. Have you ever had colored braces? Haha yeah, I did that when I had them. Do you take birth control pills? Yes, just for period cramps. Without them, they can be immobilizing for me. If you live in the USA: do you feel free and safe? Ha, no. Well, not *entirely*. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? I was recovering from the stomach virus, if that counts. As in I still got sick the day before and felt iffy on my actual bday. 17th, I think? Is talking about your past painful for you? Yes. Are you a member of any support groups online? I'm a member of The Mighty site, if that counts. When I'm feeling very, very sound of mind and helpful without all the negativity being a detriment to myself, I do like going on there and trying to help or comfort people. Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, and the line was busy, and that's when I decided I was a goner. Do you ever fantasize about revenge? I uhhhhh... sometimes. What's a movie you would recommend to someone who never watches movies? Ohhh, that's hard. I don't really watch movies either, and I'm trying to think of one that essentially anyone would like, so hm. Oh, Coco is absolutely a possibility. That movie touched me so, so deeply and is high on my favorites list. It's impossible to not feel the emotions. Do you want to have grandkids? Hell, I don't want kids. Do you want to be an aunt or uncle? I already am one, and I love being an aunt. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember their names or characters in general. Did you make a lot of home videos growing up? I mean *I* didn't, but Mom filmed quite a few. Do you enjoy babysitting? NO. What's an unpopular opinion that you have? Avoiding some political ones, uhhhh. OH. HERE'S ONE. THE SCENE AESTHETIC IS FUCKING CUTE AND NOT CRINGEY AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. Are you attracted to the opposite gender, same gender, or both? Both are A+. Was your first crush on someone of the same gender or opposite? Opposite. As a kid, I didn't even fathom the concept that women could date women. What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. Fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Besides the very obvious answer of "Covid," I worry about my mom a lot. She's so weakened after all the chemo and meds and can do literally less than I can without heavily breathing and sweating. I just worry a lot that cancer will return sooner than we hope; I don't want it to EVER come back, but doctors say it is very, very likely at one point or another because she was so very close to Stage 4. What would be your personal hell? Being completely and entirely isolated forever while somewhere hot and humid, lol. And play one of my trigger songs on repeat eternally. What made the "weird kid" at your school weird? There was this poor guy named Alfred that was VERY clearly depressed out of his mind, and I heard him speak maybe once through all of high school, and the entire class couldn't believe it. He always sat way in the back and never smiled. I wonder how he is nowadays. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" personally offends me the most when misused and spoken as an insult. What instantly puts you to sleep? Now that is HARD to do; I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. The easiest way though would probably be me being drained from an emotional breakdown. That is so exhausting that I'm capable of crashing pretty fast and hard. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? I adore Rammstein, so there's plenty. I'll probably say "Donaukinder" is their best. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? I keep that I RP a complete secret in my "real" life for this reason unless it's like, pried out of me. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. See how goddamn disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Ha, realizing I was bisexual after once being homophobic. What is the funniest fact you know? Oh man, I know a lot of random trivia shit, really, so it's hard to say. Maybe that quokkas throw their offspring at predators to distract and escape from them... As awful as that is, c'mon, you gotta admit it's funny and shocking with just how adorable they are. What was your 'mic drop' moment? Oh, I don't know. Possibly when I publicly came out as bi on Facebook and made it abundantly clear that I gave no shits about some homophobic friends and family & I was beyond willing to let anyone's ass go over it. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a kid at McDonald's, the woman in front of our car paid for our food; apparently seeing a mom, dad, and three kids in a van was enough that she wanted to just be kind and give us a smile. We have no idea who she was, never saw her face or anything, she was just a sweet woman. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Okay, I'm going to let go of all hatred for my body weight-wise and just think of this as from a strictly natural design perspective, in which case I'd say my toes are too small. What age are you afraid of turning and why? 30, because I'm terrified of getting there and seeing I've possibly gone nowhere. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? I'm keeping this question in just because I think there could be some interesting answers for others, but I'm witholding my answer because nobody wants or needs to know lmao. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting better than others and belittling. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? D A R K I P L I E R because of his origins and overall purpose and just simply existing. What is something you regret to NOT have done? I have this oddly weird regret of not going like, all-all the way with He Who Shall Not Be Named????? Idk why though????? Considering I loved him way too much and I was a reckless and impulsive person who probably at some point would have wound up accidentally pregs????? What a fuckin trip that woulda been. What movie changed your life for the better? None have really "changed my life." What book you think should be directed as a film? Oh, idk. Most I can think of have been. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? The 2000s, probably. A carefree kid. How are you doing today? I'm exhausted. While out with Mom and my sisters yesterday, we got behind a van whose driver was obviously drunk or high off his goddamn ass, and he was swerving EVERYWHERE, nearly shoving so many cars off the road. Mom called 911 to get in contact with highway patrol to report his dumb fucking ass in. I was having an absolute panic attack and cried quietly like the entire 45 or so minute drive home. I was just so, so upset because this is why I don't fucking drive, and I felt like I'd made my sister (who was driving) mad because she had to firmly tell me I had to calm down (I was hyperventilating and talking to myself to try to calm down) if she was going to focus and keep us safe. She later ensured me she wasn't mad, but I still wasn't the same the entire rest of the day. Anyway, I slept hard last night but had two nightmares, so I'm still really tired today. I'm trying to keep myself really distracted. What's something your relatives don't know about you? A whole lot really, considering beyond my very immediate family, I see almost nobody because they live many states away. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Mom would spank us or slap an arm pretty hard if my sisters or I misbehaved or "disrespected" her by "talking back." I'm not having kids, but I would never, ever, ever, put my hands on them in any way that isn't loving. You do not teach children via inflicting fear. I also have this probably overly strong aversion to beer because that's what Dad always drank as an alcoholic. I'll probably never try it, not that I really want to because it smells awful. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? I feel like "annoying" is the wrong word for this, but Roman (my cat) can be incredibly demanding of attention and to lie on me when I'm on the laptop in bed, and sometimes I just want space and be able to clearly see the screen, haha. He will legit meow like a baby and gently swat my arm sometimes if I try to keep him back. Heeee usually gets his way. As for Venus (snek), she does nothing "annoying" either, but rather a bit concerning to a snake mom: she is usually very slow to find and strike her food. I feed her frozen/thawed mice, and she will first slither around her entire cage, tongue flicking and clearly looking for her food, even though I always place it atop the same spot on her hide, and she can have her head RIGHT beside it and still do nothing. She ultimately generally eats (as a ball python though, she's a picky eater and will occasionally reject a meal), but I of course wonder why she's odd about dinnertime... As a champagne, she does have the notorious "spider gene" in her, which can cause neurological issues, but idk if something like this could be related.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Snowblind (16x15)

I don't know what to even think at this point?

Cons:

I've gone on record saying that Tom Koracick is better than Owen Hunt in every conceivable way, but especially as regards Teddy Altman. But come on. This whole love triangle/quadrangle/pentangle or whatever is getting seriously out of hand. You've got Teddy and Owen, and then Owen and Amelia, Amelia and Link, Teddy and Tom... it's a freakin' mess, and I wish all of these people would get over their bullshit and just sort out their lives. I know that this kind of thing is par for the course on a show like this, but it just goes to show that there's a right way and a wrong way to write trope-filled stories. I've enjoyed plenty of love triangles and messy situations on this show in the past, but this is one that I cannot abide. Teddy is going to feel guilty as shit, Owen is going to find out Amelia's baby might be his, Link is going to cry about it some more... I'm already so exhausted.

Nico has been deflecting with Levi, not addressing the issue about him not being out to his parents. I've got to say, I really like Levi, but I'm feeling frustrated about Nico. They haven't given him as much time to develop, so when he basically gives Levi an ultimatum, telling Levi to stop trying to change him by forcing him to talk about his feelings... it's really hard to see both sides here. I honestly think that's a writing issue. I like Nico. I want to keep liking him, and I want to learn more about him whether or not he and Levi stay together. I just wish their story was being handled with a bit more care, especially after so many great Levi-centric story-lines in recent weeks.

Are they going to kill off Alex? This isn't a complaint about the episode, just a - what the fuck? My guess is maybe he found out he was terminally ill or something, and wanted to leave so Jo and Meredith wouldn't have to watch him die. I know the actor bailed out, and maybe there was drama there, who knows? But from a story-telling standpoint, Alex's exit has so far been very bizarre, and troubling to say the least. This guy has sixteen seasons' worth of development under his belt. It's completely bonkers that he would run off and abandon his wife. It doesn't track with reality at all.

Pros:

Teddy going over to Tom's and kissing him is really annoying, but I loved their silly snowball fight earlier on. Tom's speech about how he's been trying to get in the club for two years really broke my heart. I think a lot of people have maybe felt that way in their lifetime, at some point. I know I feel it where I work, and I used to feel it doing theatre as a kid - like I was never quite in the center of things. Tom is a good man, and Teddy liking him is so sweet. It's just... clearly I'm supposed to think that Teddy kissing Tom is a bad thing, the kind of thing that is going to backfire on her. And here I am, wishing she'd just kick Owen to the curb!

As frustrating as the Alex situation is, I do like Jo and Link's friendship getting more screen-time. Great acting from them both in that final scene, where Jo talks about how she's pretty sure Alex left her, and Link rushes over to offer comfort. They have such good energy as friends who support each other no matter what. I'm glad to finally see that come through.

Bailey essentially adopts Joey, the foster kid who recently turned eighteen. I am actually all about this. Of course it's partially something she's doing in reaction to her recent miscarriage, but also it's built out of several episodes of buildup and trust. And it's like Bailey says - she has extra room, extra food, extra money, extra love to give. (She probably should have discussed it with Ben first, but I suppose that they do have a tradition in their marriage of making big life decisions without talking it over!)

Richard's story-line offered a couple of big surprises. He bonds with a resident and offers to let her do a surgery, only for Levi to stop them just in time - turns out, the woman is not a resident, but his missing patient who he has been tracking all through the hospital. This woman, Tess, has been sick throughout her whole life, and her repeated diagnoses meant that she couldn't finish med school. She just wanted a chance at following her dream. Richard ends up telling her that she still has that chance - she has more obstacles than most people, but she can still make it. And then Richard confesses that his hands have been shaking, and that his days of surgery are over.

This is a lot to process. I really liked Tess' story, and hope she does find a way to make it as a doctor. It's absolutely insane that she was about to cut someone open, but it worked within the confines of the story. And then there's Richard. He has been through hell recently, what with his marriage falling apart, getting fired, etc... and now this. He has a great speech about how his career defined his life more so than any of his relationships, and how he's not sure who he is without it. But he also knows that he got to do what he loved for a long time, and that he's still got a lot of life left to live. Richard is such a natural teacher and nurturer; it seems clear that he still has a future working in the medical field in that capacity, even if his time in the operating room has come to an end.

Then there's the DeLuca situation. He is rightfully and naturally quite upset with Meredith for saying he might be sick like his father, and even points out that he doesn't throw alzheimer's in her face every time she forgets something. And yet, as much as I want to be on Andrew's side here, there's the fact that he went out in a blizzard and walked several miles to fetch a liver for a patient, since the roads outside are all blocked off. He walks three miles both ways without gloves, saving a little girl's life but also doing damage to his hands. Jackson is adamant that Andrew needs to follow instructions or he could lose his hands, so this is clearly serious business. I'm worried for him, and I can totally understand why Meredith and Carina would be concerned.

Cormac and Meredith continue to bond over their dead spouses - I could definitely see this going in a romance direction, and it seems like that's where it's headed, but at the same time, they are also just good for each other because of their shared life experience. Cormac confesses to being lonely - he hasn't been with anyone since his wife's death. Meredith talks about the complexities of that first kiss, first "I love you" after her husband's death. I don't know if Meredith and Andrew are done for good, but Meredith's behavior here felt kind of... wistful, like maybe she can be grateful for what they had and know that it's not meant to last. I don't know if that's where we're headed, but I'm totally pulled in to the story. (Thus proving that a well-developed love triangle is possible!)

Also - the mentions of Cristina were delightful as always. She feels a lot closer to the core of the story this season than she has in a good while. And we even got a Twisted Sister reference!

There are probably details I've missed here - like Maggie confirming Teddy's suspicions, showing once again that she can never be trusted. Or Jackson making up from a fight with Vic that probably happened over on Station 19. I liked this episode, for the most part - I liked that for once, the big "disaster" of a snow storm didn't actually cause most of the drama of the episode. It was more contained, more character driven.

And next week, we get to find out whatever sort of ending they've cobbled together for Alex. I am... dreading it, y'all.

7.5/10

[bluemoonpunch]

This Week’s Astro:

Feb 16: Mars enters Capricorn + Mercury Retrograde begins at 12° of Pisces  (will move to 28° of Aquarius and go direct on March 9th/10th)

Feb 18: Sun enters Pisces

Feb 20: Jupiter in Capricorn Sextiles Neptune in Pisces at 17°

Feb 21: Mars in Capricorn Trines Uranus in Taurus at 3°

Feb 22: Sun in Pisces Sextiles Uranus in Taurus at 3°

Feb 23: Venus in Aries Squares Jupiter in Capricorn at 18° + New Moon in Pisces at 4°

I’d like to start this off with a visual that I started to get as soon as I got into this reading and began to look over this week’s astrology. I was seeing a pair of hands pressed together like in a pose of prayer sitting very low inside of my stomach. Slowly, they started to move up through my chest, then my throat, and eventually they started to open up as they got into my head. There they cradled my brain and proceeded to push it up and outside of my skull, ripping the skin and breaking the skull in the process. As the hands continued to ascend, maybe elbow-length outside of my head, the skin, and bone that had split apart started to change and shift between colors like blue, pink, and purple, making it look more like a very morbid and surreal flower. 

At first, I thought this image was just for me since I was seeing it happen within my own body, but later on, when I got into the collective reading, I realized this is for everyone. There is a strong theme of “liberation” this week, this feeling of breaking out of some kind of oppressive restraint that has been limiting your progress or potential in one or more areas of your life, or even just within yourself. This shows up in the Astrology as well with so much influence coming up with Pisces creating this “out of body” experience, this liberation from restrictive thinking or emotional processing, as well as the Mercury retrograde itself bringing a more internalized perspective to the surface.

The Astrology this week is pretty interesting and, of course, it played out like a story in my head. I was seeing this week play out like a family dinner where you have an interesting selection of people sitting at the table essentially divided up by Pisces and Capricorn where there is a relatively positive conversation happening. However, on the other end, you have Mars and the North Node in an argument, yelling at each other across the table through a loose opposition that is consistent all week. 

The argument is over how to proceed, how to drive the ship forward. Young and vivacious Mars, who only just made it into Capricorn, wants to take all of his conscious will power, all of his unbridled passion, and just step on the gas and make things happen — don’t think, just do. Then the old yet progressive North Node is over there, coming off a bit pretentious, reminding Mars of the higher path, the more intuitively guided path, one of strong foundations that require time and patience. They both have the same goal, but they have completely different ideas of how to get there and how to time the process itself. 

Then Cousin Chiron chimes in through a double square between Mars and the North Node, applying tension and pressure to both of them that only causes more disinterest in what the other has to say. For some reason, I was seeing it as Chiron literally butting into the conversation saying, “If you guys would just go Vegan, you wouldn’t have these problems.” It’s almost condescending and seemingly completely unrelated, and that’s exactly how that energy plays in. Both Mars and the North Node are forgetting the importance of Cousin Chiron on both of their paths as Chiron represents the process of actually removing blockages and learning to utilize detriments, and the fact that Chiron is positioned between the two of them but off to the side provides this symbolism of how with all of this Pisces energy, along with the retrograde and the New Moon, we can lose sight of our foundations and fall out of our processes.

The fact that Chiron is throwing something out there that doesn’t seem related to the conversation made me feel as if there was something I was missing, or something that Mars and the North Node were missing while having their argument. Chiron has been sitting there passively observing this conversation, so surely there is some kind of meaning or purpose to it. I came to the conclusion that the statement itself didn’t really mean anything, but it was the fact that this would stop the argument and cause Mars and the North Node to turn their heads and look at Chiron like, “what the hell are you talking about?” It’s like a call to remind them that Chiron is in fact still there and still very much part of the equation for both of them. Chiron is a key player in the movement forward, something that they are both trying to do, so rather than perpetuating the argument it’s more like Chiron is trying to get their attention to remind them that THEY should be working together.

Oppositions are always opportunities to consciously balance the energies and influences of two points. Here with Chiron and the North Node, there is a need to balance the very conscious and superficial will to act and build, and the more intuitive, deeper-dwelling soul aspect of the North Node. Throughout Mercury Retrograde, and maybe Pisces Season all together, I feel like this will be a matter that repeats itself in one way or another as we get closer to Aries season.

Now, what’s going on with the other family members? Uncle Neptune and Uncle Jupiter are talking back and forth between Capricorn and Pisces. I was seeing Neptune, who is very at home in Pisces, of course, talking about how well nephew Mercury is doing in Pisces, especially now that he’s doing his retrograde shenanigans. It was almost like I was seeing two uncles get all excited about their nephew starting to get good at baseball even though his dad, for whatever reason, didn’t want him to play baseball. It’s like this isn’t supposed to work, but it’s starting to work. Mercury is starting to work in Pisces, and this is where you get that brain being pushed outside of the body. The retrograde took Mercury outside of the superficial focus by forcing its perspective to become internal, more on par with the Pisces energy. Neptune and Jupiter are super proud.

However, Uranus… Daddy Uranus… I don’t know what his deal is, but he’s being weird on his end in Taurus, a very conscious and superficial space where his intellectual standing is just so NOT okay with what is going on with baby Mercury in Pisces. He’s not jumping in and causing a scene or anything, but something in him is wanting the process to move faster, to get out of that space where the conscious mind, Mercury, is being turned inside out and really taken on a trip. This, from my perspective, comes to a peak when Mars Trines Uranus between Taurus and Capricorn where the higher intellect and this very primal sense of will power come together and try to literally spin the zodiac, try to spin the wheel to make it go faster in order to speed up the process. Uranus wants Mercury over by him and Mars just wants to get over to Aries, that’s his main goal. 

Obviously, with a Mercury retrograde, this really wouldn’t be a good idea to literally just start running at things because Mars is running on impulse and Uranus just seems to be weirdly frustrated with Mercury’s opportunity for a new perspective. The action of Uranus and Mars can come off as the point of liberation, but really, the liberation is in the allowance of Mercury, of the conscious mind, to experience some kind of transcendence or have an out of body experience while retrograding through Pisces and into Aquarius — and something tells me that when Retro-Mercury gets into Aquarius, Daddy Uranus will start to understand the benefits of such an event and his brothers, Jupiter and Neptune, will be over there rolling their eyes like, yeah, no shit.

I was also seeing the sextile between the Sun (Father Sun) and Uranus, as well as the New Moon (Mother Moon) in Pisces as being these objective points in the matters for Uranus. Like Father Sun chimes in first, understanding what it’s like to watch your son ascend through a certain process that will allow him to see beyond what he himself was able to teach him — I don’t know, let’s say Uranus was a little Mercury at one point too before he became a portal of the higher mind of Aquarius. Uranus understands where his Father is coming from, but he doesn’t get the youth of today and their obsession with Pisces. Back in his day, Aquarius was all the rage. Mother Moon is the one to step in and explain and clear the air as she is the one who actually has the experience with Water energies. She, through her New Moon, opens up a looking glass and allows for Uranus to get a glimpse of what it is like in there.

So, depending on where you’re at in these conversations, things will play out differently and you’ll have a unique experience, but in all of these scenarios, all of these conversations, there is a point of liberation, a point of clarity being reached by observing something from another perspective, by allowing the brain to break out of the confines of the body in order to see beyond the limitations that it provides. 

Collective Message:

Now, for the cards. This is what made me realize that the image of the hands pushing the brain outside of the body was meant for everyone. This set of cards shows a transitionary process between By The Book and Flexible through Regeneration. 

Regeneration in the center is a mirror to the image that I was seeing as we can see a small tree just starting to emerge from the burning soil, an image that pays homage to a Pheonix rising from the ashes. I think the image itself is supposed to be showing life finding its way back into a space that had been affected by a forest fire as the ground is shown to still be burning away. Within that, there is this oppressive feeling, that heat and pressure which is also present in By The Book. 

By The Book shows a small heard of elephants walking in a line through the desert. It feels obligatory, slow, and uncomfortable. I was seeing this as related to the “moment of pause” that I’ve spoken about in a lot of personal readings over the past month or two, which pertains to a feeling of being stuck due to higher aspects of yourself literally putting you on pause or slowing you down for the sake of allowing you to get your shit together. Something in this card feels very Saturnian as well as if the obligation and the aspect of doing something “by the book” goes into the work-reward exchange of Karmic Saturn. 

This trudge through the desert is being made in order to get to the world of Flexible, which is shown as the dreamy, elevated, seemingly floating space of greenery and comfort. The physical transition from one space to another is enough to get the point across, but the actual energy of the cards completely oppose each other. By The Book is rather restrictive and binding, whereas Flexible is that extra room to breathe and move around, not forcing you in one direction or another.

These two states are directly displayed within the image of Regeneration itself. The restrictive desert with only one path that can be taken is the same as the burning soil in the image, and the one path there is the trunk of the tree forcing this uphill journey towards the cooler and more stable branches. The branches are, obviously, flexible, bending and twisting, splitting off in multiple directions, giving you choices on where you want to go. The best part is, every branch has a little leaf budding on the end, showing that every pathway available once you get into the world of Flexible holds potential for you. 

This is liberation. The process, containment, and self-restraint that occurs through the desert, which may relate back to having to listen to Chiron, having to listen to Father Sun, having to look at Mother Moon, having to vibe with Retro-Mercury, is what will allow you to break out of the body, or out of the more superficial perspectives within yourself, give your room to expand your way of thinking. This can also relate to more external issues between yourself and other people or situations that keep you in the desert, in that restrictive space, and having to work past them or liberate yourself from those ties, but within a calm, cool, collected state.

It seems like such a sensitive process because there’s a lot of internal movement happening in terms of perspective and mindset, but there is this call to keep it there. Keep the movement within yourself, within a personal bubble, don’t run off and initiate entire new systems while in Mercury Retrograde, save it for Aries season. 

Individual messages for all 12 signs on bluemoonpunch.com!

[arcenergy]

1, 2, 4, 10, 11, 15!!

1. Which oc sleeps in an unusual position? (ex: sitting upright or lying as though they were in a funeral casket)

arcetri sleeps like a little weirdo since she grew up sleeping in twin beds into adulthood she sleeps curled up into like a little ball. when the blight happened she did learn to sprawl out a bit though and that wound up with alistair getting smacked in the face or waking up to see her holding onto him like he was an overstuffed teddy bear. luckily for alistair he’s obsessed with this because he’s like wow you really live like this? he isnt really thrilled about getting smacked in the face but u know. the things u do for love (it’s ok it doesnt happen very often)

2. What do your oc’s sleeping quarters look like?

arcetri shares her room w/ alistair so it’s a very fun mishmash of both of their Things. both of their warden armor sits on stands in the corner of their room, various memontos dating back from their childhoods sit on both of their desks, it matters very little whose belongs to who. although they keep the majority of their actual “work” in the library/study to help keep things organized there are stray papers and reports sitting about, and if it belongs to arcetri then there’s probably a coffee stain. they have their respective armoires but arcetri will steal something from alistair on the occassion. also if you happen to find some knives buried around that’s just par for the course. under pillows or stuffed in random places. 99% of the time it was arcetri’s doing. 75% of the time it was intentional. there also might be some clothes or blankies laying around but they’re not messy people 

drax technically has sleeping quarters/dorm space/apartment as i like to imagine all of the scions do  but i dont think he really uses them just because he’s travelling so much. with that being said he doesnt have much of anything in there other than extra clothes and whatever precious few mementos he has that he didnt want risk losing/breaking on the road. he also keeps the vast majority of his own personal library there, which is mostly just a bookshelf or two shoved with various tomes he’s found or been gifted from the others. when he does find himself staying there for long periods of time it’s usually fairly clean because if anything it’s rather bleak looking since he never bothered to decorate. he does, however, have a habit of hoarding cups in his room and it pisses everyone else off because he forgets to take them downstairs. everyone wants to see drax do the walk of shame with like 5 cups but then drax was like wait no i got this and then started teleporting cups downstairs because he’s an asshole. luckily he hasnt broken anything yet but when he does that will be the goddamn day 

and ill stop there or else this will be 50 pages long

4. Which oc does not sleep?

arcetri struggles to sleep bc warden dreams and she has Issues

mustard doesnt sleep simply because guardians are undead, slightly immortal freaks of nature that dont need sleep (as far as actual destiny lore is concerned, anyways) 

with that being said i do imagine that guardians sleep sometimes (like once a week maybe)-either recreationally as a de-stresser or to help recover lost energy considering that they do need to eat. 

10. Which oc is VERY affected by caffeine?

arcetri would be my only guess because she was chugging caffeine throughout the blight but after the fact she still has like, a cup of coffee a day 

11. Which oc’s bed is perpetually covered in laundry or other paraphernalia?

mustard’s ship is lowkey a fucking mess but he gets better about it (not needing to eat very often probably has something to do with the lack of random shit). but he also has a tendency to just..leave various armor pieces around. maybe a gun on the table 

15. Which oc has or has had a bunk bed?

so in the tabris family home in denerim the only beds in there are bunk beds and ive thought about this for a long time because one of the beds clearly belongs to the warden but then like..who has the other . cyrion? 

[crystalelemental]

According to some, I am now the worst kind of Fire Emblem elitist.  Which is great, because it means now I don’t have to give a fuck anymore!  The specific reason was because I like to soft reset for good levels sometimes, and if this does make me an elitist, that means I am officially qualified to give unsolicited advice about how to play Fire Emblem properly!  So that’s what this post will be about: two strategies I commonly use to make the games easier.  Specifically the ones with perma-death, because at the end of the day, I’m here for characters and story, and will reset if any character dies, but that takes up way too much time so it’s best to avoid it entirely via what is, apparently, cheating.  And now, all of you can too.

One is what got this in motion: soft resetting for good levels.  When you approach the end of a chapter, if you have a preferred character, or a unit you use a lot who’s gotten some pretty bad growths in a needed stat, I find it’s best to end the chapter as close to a level up as possible.  When you begin the next chapter, have that unit get the first hit, and it should push them over to the next level.  Because it’s early in the chapter, if they don’t get the growth you’re looking for, you can soft reset and try again!

I’ve also found this to be incredibly helpful for characters with less than stellar stats, that you still want to use.  Louise is probably a good example; she’s a pre-promote, but has really low strength.  Everything else is solid, just strength is...not good.  In Hector’s mode especially, this sucks, because you can’t really get any stat boosters for strength.  The solution?  This trick!  Give your Louise some guaranteed levels with strength, and watch as she now deals significant damage!

I also find it really helpful for units that start out just being behind the curve.  Maybe they’re not inherently terrible, but they’re showing up at a much lower level than your current army.  This helps guarantee them levels with a lot of growth, instead of risking potentially awful ones.

And of course, if there’s a favorite unit you absolutely cannot let die off, this is a good way to guarantee they’re strong enough to survive almost anything.  This is really a sort of all-in on avoiding any possible deaths.  That said, I can’t recommend doing this for more than one character.  Two is a hard maximum, because good rolls on three units?  Really hard to guarantee.

The second piece of advice...really only works when there’s weapon durability, and when a broken weapon is no longer used.  So really, pre-Fates.  Which is all the stuff with permadeath anyway.  If you have a strong defensive unit, and a boss who won’t move from the throne?  Have them break their weapon attacking the wall.  Heal them as needed, and when the weapons are broken, have your weaker units take shots at the boss to grind levels.  This is a much, much safer alternative to attempting Arena grinding in the main games.  Arena is a fickle mechanic, and often pits you against units that are way harder to beat than is reasonable, if not outright impossible to beat if they give you someone with weapon triangle advantage over your unit.

As an advanced tip: if the game has a Rescue mechanic?  Use it.  You want to be dealing 1 damage, and only attacking once.  After all, your weapons break too, and you don’t want to ruin all your weapons doing this.  If a unit is too weak, but has C-rank proficiency, start out with a Steel Bow.  You can use that until you start dealing 1 more damage than the amount they recover each turn for being on a throne, at which point damage output exceeds their recovery.  Switching to Iron can sometimes make the weight too low, and allow that unit to double, which breaks the weapon down too fast.  Rescue lets you pick up a unit so they can’t take damage, but in exchange, your skill (hit rate) and speed (chance to double) take a hit.  In the GBA games, it’s half.  This is immensely helpful for keeping speedier units from doubling the often slow armor units on thrones.  Doing this effectively gives you double the amount of EXP compared to doubling, as you’re able to engage in twice as many rounds of combat.

And of course, all throughout this, you’re likely to gain HP a few times.  If you have the healing staves for it, you can heal them up just fine.  This is how I pull off stupid shit like level 17 Serra by the end of Lyn mode.  Good luck having your dumb reinforcements or whatever try to KO her when she’s 12 levels over what’s remotely reasonable, fools!

I wanted to bring these up for two reasons.  One is just because...it works for me.  And maybe it’ll work for others.  I hated losing units as a kid, and I hated how long it took to redo a chapter every time a lucky crit or something took me out.  So I’d do stuff like this constantly, to overlevel my units, and face substantially less threat from the strongest enemies we’d encounter.  You can do this to the point that literally nothing in a Normal mode run can threaten you, or just to correct for a bad stretch of levels in a chapter.  It’s really just to ease the struggles that come up when stats aren’t up to par.

The other is because, lately, I feel like there’s been another resurgence of people talking about having an interest in older FE games, but worrying about things like permadeath and general lack of accessibility features that were introduced by Awakening.  I wanted to toss these out as potential solutions for all prior games, so people can jump into any of the games they’re interested in.  Just because you’re invested in going back to play older games doesn’t mean you have to play on their terms.  Cheat like crazy if you need to.  If you’re just here for the characters and the story and the experience, then I say do whatever you need to, to make the gameplay more tolerable for you.

[lovemesomerafael]

El Amor Todo Lo Puede          Chapter 56:  Home

Source:  @peter-stone

Chapters 1-55

Laura knocked quietly on the door of Lucia’s apartment in the Bronx, feeling a strange mixture of excitement and sadness.  They had kept in touch, of course, for the two years Laura had been away, although after those first, hellish months, they hadn’t spoken quite as often.  Laura fully expected that they would spend time during this visit crying over their mutual loss, and she didn’t dread that. In fact, she and Lucia hadn’t been able to hug while they cried in all the time Laura had been gone.  Since the crying part was probably inevitable, Laura thought it would be nice to be able to put her arms around Rafael’s mother while they shared their pain.  

Lucia had tried to understand Laura’s need to run away.  At first, she had been confused and a bit hurt that Laura wouldn’t be in New York, where they could comfort one another.  Over the two weeks after Rafi’s death, however, as they had worked feverishly together to do all the horrible tasks that have to be done when someone dies, Lucia had seen in Laura a fear that she herself didn’t feel.  Laura was not only grieving the past, she was also terrified of the future.  Lucia wasn’t. Partly, the difference was that Laura was young, and had to figure out who to be, now that she had been left without the partner she’d chosen to spend her life with.  Rafael’s death had fundamentally changed who Laura was.  That wasn’t true for Lucia.  Losing her child, adult though he had been, didn’t change Lucia’s identity as his mother.  The other difference was that having another child wasn’t an option for Lucia, so she didn’t have to find the courage to try again.  

Over the past two years, something had happened that neither of them had expected.  As much as they had liked being mother- and daughter-in-law, they found that they also enjoyed being friends.  Lucia still felt motherly toward Laura, who also loved Lucia like a second mother.  But helping one another through their greatest loss had also forged a deep, lasting friendship between them as women.  Rafael was always there, between them, a shared love that united them.  But they found that, slowly and in stages, their conversations branched out to involve the rest of their lives, as well.  It was a lovely connection that allowed them to keep Rafael close – the two women who had loved him the most – and also allowed each of them to enjoy the other for her own sake.

When Lucia opened the door, she and Laura hugged (and cried) for a very long time before Laura even crossed the threshold.

 *************

Dinner at Amanda’s had started at breakfast time.  Laura wanted to spend as much time as possible with her friends from SVU, so they’d arranged to meet at the zoo in Central Park, where the kids could play while the parents talked.  Laura was shocked by how much they’d grown; both Fin’s grandson, Jaden, and Amanda’s daughter, Billie, were talking already.  They weren’t speaking full sentences, but they were certainly able to make their needs known.  Amanda’s daughter Jessie and Olivia’s son Noah both had vague memories that they had an “Aunt Lala”, but had really been too young to remember Laura.  It was great fun to get re-acquainted with them, and to discover Jaden’s and Billie’s personalities, made easier by the fact that Sonny Carisi was, by far, the kids’ favorite person and knew everything about them.   As soon as they saw that Sonny liked Laura, they decided to like her, too.  

While the older kids ran around like maniacs and the littler ones alternated between mania and meltdowns, the adults caught up.  Laura had cried as soon as she saw Fin, which she’d known she would.  He tried to play it cool, but the tightness of his hug and the amount of time it lasted told her he was just as glad to see her.

“Any idea what you’re gonna do when you get back to Chicago?”  He asked.

“I have a few leads.  I really loved the work I did for the feds; I might want to do something with computer crimes.  Or maybe I’ll go to the dark side and make a mint working in cybersecurity.  Regular hours, no one shoots at me…”

“Yeah, but you’d never get to go off on anyone.  Remember Reginald Skoggs?  You love that shit,”  Fin laughed.

“Oh, man, I haven’t thought about him in years.  But you’re right, that was fun.  Remember I had to change my clothes before Barba saw all the blood?”  

Fin laughed at that, too, and Laura noticed that the whole group seemed to relax a little, knowing that it was all right to mention Rafael’s name.  

“What I remember is you still owe me fifty bucks for not tellin’ Barba what you did.”  

Laura feigned a blank look.  “I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, sure you don’t.”  Fin threw an arm around her neck and gave her a rough hug.  “Punk-ass kid.”  

All morning and afternoon, the SVU detectives shared stories of cases they’d worked and listened as Laura told them what she’d been doing.  Laura wanted to hear every story about the kids.  They had so much to talk about that it was actually after lunch by the time the conversation neared the subject of Rafael’s murder.

Olivia moved so that she was walking next to Laura while they headed toward the Polar Circle, where the penguins – the kids’ favorite - lived.  

“I thought we’d get to see you for Randolph’s trial.  I wasn’t surprised to see him plead out, but I was sorry to miss out on a visit from you.”  

“Thanks, Lieu. I knew he’d take a plea.  McCoy was going to bury him no matter what, so I think he just figured he’d save himself the trouble.  For a sweet man, Jack McCoy can be a scary SOB when he’s crossed.”

“Yes, he can,” Olivia agreed.  

“Anyway, it was better that way.  I really wasn’t ready to come back until pretty recently.  In fact, I might have stayed longer, except…”

“Yeah, I heard. You know, until Rollins told me the whole story, I just thought you and Stone were oddly close.”  

“And you were right about that,” Laura laughed.  

While Jaden and Billie napped hard in their strollers, Fin sat with them and napped a little, too. Liv and Amanda kept a close eye on Jessie and Noah, and Laura and Carisi stood leaning on poured concrete rocks, watching the penguins.  

“So I’m looking at all these kinds of penguins, particularly the macaroni penguin, which is really the coolest of penguinkind, and I’m thinkin’ that right there is evidence that God has a sense of humor.”

“Hmmmm. Deep, Carisi.  I don’t disagree, but I’m thinking whoever named them macaroni penguins gets an honorable mention.”

“Yeah, I could go there,” Sonny shrugged.  “And since you didn’t throw me over these rocks into the water, I hope that means that maybe you and God have made up a little?”  

Laura thought for a minute.  “There was this priest in Stockholm, Father Piär. He helped.  Probably not as much as you, but he did OK.”  She bumped Carisi fondly with her shoulder.  

“I don’t know that I helped any, but thanks.”

“Sure you did.  And I appreciate it.  I owe you.” Laura didn’t want the day to turn maudlin, so she changed the subject.  “So I noticed in your emails, you never mentioned any dates.  You didn’t become a monk or something, did you?”  

“Nah,” Sonny blushed.  “I just like to play things close to the vest, y’know?”

“Well, don’t. Tell me.  I want to know you’re happy.”

The smile on Sonny’s face, and the crinkles around his bright blue eyes told Laura that he would never want for romantic companionship for long.  “There’s no one special right now, but…  I’ve kinda been thinkin’ I’m getting a little old for dates.  Dean got married, you know.”

“I hadn’t heard that!”

“Yeah, married a surgeon.  They’re in L.A. now.  Anyway, I’ve been thinking I might be in the market for someone, you know, more permanent.”

“Any candidates?”

“Not right now. But who knows?”

“Just don’t get serious about anyone until I get to check them out.  Don’t rely solely on Amanda’s judgment.”

“If I have to wait until Amanda approves someone, I might as well hang it up right now.”

The rest of the afternoon went on like that, everyone enjoying the day and Laura getting a chance to talk one-on-one with each of them.

At dinner, there was plenty of wine and entirely too much food.  Sonny made something no one could pronounce, but it was so good everyone ate until they couldn’t possibly take one more bite.  Lucia joined them, and they all enjoyed themselves.  To Laura, it felt as though she’d never been away, which was just a little bittersweet, because it meant she kept expecting Rafael to walk in at any time.  

There was a sweet moment when Olivia was telling a story about an argument she and Rafael had, and Noah asked, “Is Rafael the same as Uncle Rafa?”  

Olivia told him that he was.

“I ‘member him,” Noah said.  “He used to sing the pirate song.”  

As much as Laura had needed to leave New York to escape the constant reminders of Rafael, it was lovely, now that she could, to be able to talk about him with people who had known and loved him.  There were a hundred stories about funny, biting comments he had made, demonstrations of his undeniable abilities, and his courtroom coups.  Lucia told some hilarious, adorable stories about him as a child that he would never have allowed her to tell, had he been there.  They all laughed, and shed a few tears, and toasted his memory.  The entire day was as special as any of them had hoped, and it was a perfect way for Laura to acknowledge the life she had loved in New York before she went on to begin a new life back in Chicago.

Amanda waited with Laura and Lucia at the curb for their taxi back to the Bronx.  She and Laura had exchanged many hugs throughout the day, but it still didn’t feel like enough.  They sat, side by side on Amanda’s stoop, with Amanda’s arm around Laura’s shoulder.

“Just remember, you need me to shoot Stone, I can make it look like an accident.”

“I thought it was Rafael you offered to shoot.”

“It was, but you never took me up on it, so I still owe you.  But I’m kinda hopin’ you don’t ever need me to shoot Stone, either.  ‘Cuz you look happy.  And I like seein’ that.”

“Me, too.”

“You take care of yourself, Parker.  You know you always have a home here, if you want it.”

They hugged yet again, both smiling, and Amanda pulled Lucia into the hug with them.

**********

The flight from New York to Chicago had seemed very short after the flight from Stockholm. And now, Laura was home.  She smiled even as tears spilled over, looking out the window of the airplane at the familiar landscape.  

She walked through the concourse toward Baggage Claim.  She reached the main terminal, passed the security checkpoint, and descended the stairs toward the row of baggage carousels, some surrounded by people and spitting out luggage which then circled slowly, some still and silent.  She idly looked out over the scene as she walked down the stairs.

She froze on the last step, her heart doing some sort of somersault in her chest and a large swarm of butterflies taking sudden flight in her stomach.  She whispered an involuntary, "Peter."

She stood, unmoving, staring at the tall, beautiful man standing near the baggage carousel for her flight.  As always, his muscular, athletic build and his square, masculine jaw stirred a deep longing in her.  She stared almost helplessly at him, just as she had done that day years before, when she saw him in the lobby at District 21, waiting for an appointment with Sergeant Voight.  She realized with a surge of love that the pain of missing Peter was over.  She was home now, with him, and there was no longer anything to keep them apart.

His hair was longer than it had been when she’d last seen him.  It looked so good she instantly wanted to run her hands through it. Had he let it grow for her, knowing she liked it that way?  Only when he looked up at her, perhaps sensing her staring at him, did Laura take the last stair and begin to move through the crowd toward him as his face broke into a wide smile.

They didn’t say anything at first as they came face to face, just took a moment to smiled at one another before they wrapped their arms around each other in a long, contented embrace.  People looked at them, some annoyed at these fools locked in a marathon hug in the middle of baggage claim, some grinning shyly at the apparently very happy reunion. Peter and Laura ignored them all. Somewhere in the middle of their embrace, they began to share whispered “I love you’s” among heartfelt endearments.

There were plenty of kisses and laughing as they collected Laura’s luggage and walked, talking animatedly, out to Peter’s car.  With so much to carry - suitcases, Laura’s guitar, her carry-on - they hadn’t been able to hold hands or put arms around each other as they walked, and with each step, Laura found herself more aware of wanting to touch Peter.  She noticed again his hair, just a bit shaggy, and the way it made her think of him in bed.  She watched the sexy way he walked, so athletic and confident, legs wide and striding quickly.  As Peter stored the luggage in the back of a new SUV he’d purchased at some point after he’d returned from New York, Laura stood close to him, just wanting to be near him and eager to have her arms around him again.  

He slammed the gate down and pulled her to him.  As he leaned down to press his lips to hers, she breathed in his scent: a clean, masculine smell of soap and a little bit of musky cologne highlighting a warmer, savory essence that Laura thought of as just plain man.  She reached up, sliding one hand into the hair at the back of his head and using the other to hold him close.  As their mouths met in heated haste, Peter’s arms encircling Laura completely, she felt herself pressed against the back of the vehicle.  She moved her legs to more fully melt their bodies together, feeling lust overcoming her sense of anything beyond Peter. He felt warm and firm, large and muscular, the beginnings of his erection evident as he moved against her.

He broke the kiss when they started to lose control of the sounds being drawn from them and the wantonness of their hip movements.  

“Get in the car,” he growled, and they quickly separated to slide into their seats.  Before even thinking about putting on seat belts, they turned to each other and their mouths met once again for the kind of kisses they really wanted, but couldn’t indulge in publicly.  Their intimate caresses became quickly more serious, more heated, and soon they were both moaning as Peter’s tongue teased Laura’s. Minutes later, Laura slid a hand up the inside of Peter’s thigh.  

He took her hand from his leg, lifting it to his lips and kissing her fingers, chuckling.  “You missed me.”

“I missed you like crazy.  And I want you.  Let me…”

“Not here.”

“Please?  We could get in the back…”

“I am not going to have sex with you in an airport parking garage,” Peter said, a little more gruffly than he meant to, because he was having some trouble resisting her suggestion in his current agitated state.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.  I think it was even this garage.  Remember when you went -“

“That was…  We were in our twenties then.”  He consciously tried to slow his breathing.

“And?  What are you, a grown-up now?”  Laura leaned in and began kissing Peter’s neck, slipping her hand from his and reaching toward his crotch.  “Come on.  I love you, and I’ve been thinking about you nonstop.  Let me touch you…” she purred.

“Stop,” he said, laughing but taking her hand again.  “I mean it.  You can do anything you want to me when we get home.  Now behave.”

She moved back into her seat, pretending to be grumpy as she fastened her seat belt.  “Behave.  Since when have I ever behaved?”  

“Just be patient. I’ll make it worth your while.”  Peter gave her a look that did nothing to cool her arousal.  “I promise.”

Seeing that he wasn’t going to relent, Laura settled into her seat, smiling contentedly. “It’s good to be home.”

“It’s good to have you home,” Peter agreed, reaching for her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers.  

The city looked beautiful to Laura, even in the dreariness of late fall.  There was a weak sunlight through breaks in the clouds, and there were still some trees with bright fall foliage here and there. Mostly, the city looked good to her because she had been homesick.  She noticed a new building going up on the downtown skyline and pointed it out to Peter, asking where, exactly, it was.  When he told her, she scrunched up her eyebrows.  “Wait, doesn’t that mean… didn’t you miss your exit?  I thought you lived in the Fulton River District.”

“I did,” he responded, looking at the road.  “I moved.”

“You moved? You didn’t tell me you moved.  When did you move?”

“A few months ago. Didn’t I tell you?”

“No.  How do you move, and not tell me?”

“I must’ve forgot. I told you, I’ve been crazy busy these last few months.”

Laura frowned. This was strange.  Moving is not something you forget to mention.  “Where do you live now?”

“Wilmette.”

“Wilmette!  You do not.”

Peter smiled and chuckled a little, but kept his eyes on the road.  “I do, actually.  You’ll see.”

“Peter, you… that’s… I can’t believe you moved to Wilmette and didn’t tell me.”

“I thought you liked Wilmette?”

“I do.  We both do.  Remember, we used to talk about living there someday.  That’s why I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sorry, Sunshine.  Really.  I guess I thought I had.”  He lifted her hand from the console where their clasped hands had been resting and kissed it for about the hundredth time since they’d left O’Hare.

Laura shrugged slightly, but she was still uneasy.  He had told her that he’d been extremely busy over the months since he’d visited her in Stockholm, and with all that had happened between them, maybe he really had forgotten. But it still struck her as a very strange thing not to mention.

Several miles later, Peter exited the freeway and drove through the Village of Wilmette, a clean, leafy, cute midwestern town with lots of small shops and other businesses lining the streets.  He turned into a neighborhood of pretty houses, many of them brick, all set back from the street behind well-maintained front lawns with trees and shrubs.  Most of the houses had flower gardens up next to their foundations, although this late in the year there weren’t any flowers blooming.  He turned into an idyllic, peaceful street and began to slow down.

“You’re messing with me,” she said.  “You bought a house?”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling over against the curb.  “We’re here.”  

The house he pointed to was two a story brick, with copper awnings covered with verdigris over bay windows, one on either side of a rounded front door that sat at the top of a set of two steps.  There was a little patio in front of the door with wrought iron railings on either side. There was a chimney to one side, and it looked like there was another chimney at the back.  Peter got out of the car and came around to open Laura’s door as she simply sat and stared.

“Do you like it?”  He asked, a sweet, expectant smile on his face that almost hid a glint of mischief in his eyes.  

Laura stepped out onto the curb and stood, looking at the charming house.  “You didn’t forget to tell me you bought a house.”

He shrugged, pleased with her reaction.  “Maybe not. Maybe I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Peter, this is your house?  It’s beautiful!  It’s perfect! You really live here?”

“Got the mortgage to prove it,” he said, taking her hand.  “C’mon.  I want to show it to you.  We’ll get the luggage later.”  

When they reached the door, he opened it and then turned to her and lifted her up with one arm behind her back and one behind her legs.  

“What are you doing?”

“I’m carrying you over the threshold.”

All Laura could think to do was laugh.  This was… bizarre.  Unreal.

They stood in a small foyer with a flagstone floor, a little table with a lamp on it just inside.  Something about the table or the lamp, or maybe both, looked familiar to her, but she was so curious to see Peter’s house that she didn’t give it much thought.  The foyer gave onto a short hallway.

The first room they came to was a formal living room with a couch and some wingback chairs arranged around a fireplace.  There was something about the room that seemed…  Then she noticed the painting of a cottage in the English countryside over the fireplace. 

“I have that same painting,” she said, her voice a little unsure.  “I’ve never noticed that in your apartments, did you just get it?”

“Sort of.  Let me show you the rest of the house.”

He led her past the living room to the end of the short hall, which opened onto a large, sunny great room at the back of the house.  The room had a pleasant kitchen separated by a span of granite countertop from a family area with another fireplace.  Laura was astounded, her head swimming at the surprise of Peter owning a house in Wilmette, and the perfectness of the house itself.  

“Oh, Peter, this is great!  It’s… I love it!  Is this actually a wood-burning fireplace?”

“Yep.”  

Again, Laura had an odd feeling about the room.  It seemed like she’d been there before. 

“This is so weird.  I’m having the weirdest sense of déjà vu.  I know I’ve never been here before…  Holy shit, I know what it is!”

She turned to him to find him grinning like a fool. 

“Peter, your house is just like the one we used to talk about.  Remember?  When we lived in that fifth-floor walk-up in Evanston.  Now all you need is a dog named Marshall.”

Peter, now actually laughing, cocked his head toward a sliding glass door that led from the kitchen out to a patio.  “Back yard.” 

Laura felt herself go numb.  Her eyes got big and she just stood where she was, a confused expression on her face.  Her voice was shaky as she asked, “What’s going on?”

Peter went to the door and opened it.  “Come on.  Meet Marshall.”

She almost stumbled as she moved, uncertain and overwhelmed, over to him.  He put an arm around her back, enjoying every second of her reaction, but a little worried this might all be a bit too much.  He led her out onto the wooden patio, which had two sets of steps down to a small back yard shielded from any neighbors by high hedges.  She noticed movement to one side, and her eyes fixed on a red doghouse from which a Yellow Labrador Retriever puppy was sleepily emerging.  The puppy saw Peter and ran to the stairs, a little small yet to climb them easily. 

“Oh, look at you!  You’re so cute!”  Laura hurried over to pick up the puppy, who immediately began to lick all over her face.  She looked at Peter, eyes still wide, confusion and disbelief still very much evident.  “How old is he?”

“She is about three months old.”

“You named a girl puppy Thurgood Marshall?”

“I had to.  That’s the name we picked out.”

“I… what?”

Laura had just enough presence of mind to notice that Peter’s smile was heartrendingly handsome.  He was looking at her, holding the puppy, as though he was a child on Christmas morning catching his first sight of what Santa had brought.

“C’mon, let’s sit here for a minute.”  He sat her down on the stairs that led from the deck to the yard and settled next to her, their legs touching for their full lengths and his arm around her.  

“You OK?”  He chuckled.

“I…  You bought a house.”  She looked up at him just as the shocked, confused look on her face was replaced by something else.  “That picture.”

“Hmmmm?”  He asked, grinning again.

“That’s mine, isn’t it?”

“It was.  Now it’s ours.”

“Did you…?  What did you do?”

“We moved you in.  Everything you had in storage, we moved in here.  This is your house.  Well, our house.”  The grin became a radiant smile.

“Our house.”

“That’s right.  You live here.  With me.”

Peter realized he should have found a way to record this moment.  Her face was registering every emotion that tumbled through her head. He would have liked to be able to watch it again and again, for the rest of his life.  

“But… Who’s ‘we’?  Who helped you move everything in?”

“Do you really have to ask that question?  I could never have finished getting everything ready for you if your whole family hadn’t helped.”

“Our family.”

“Our family.”

“I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what to say.  Peter, this is…”  She reached for him.  “I’ve been telling you for twenty years that I love you, but I’ve never loved you like I do now.  And not just because you bought me a house.  I don’t know how to say a bigger I love you, but… I love you bigger!  They don’t have a word for how I feel about you.  So how am I supposed to tell you?”  Laura’s eyes were overflowing with tears as she laughed into Peter’s shoulder.

“I know how,” he said quietly.

Marshall had been frolicking around their feet as they sat on the stair, and Peter reached out to her, taking hold of a little white ribbon tied to her collar, which Laura hadn’t really noticed.  He untied it and something that had been attached to it fell into his hand.  As he reached behind himself to take Laura’s left hand, she gasped. He pulled her hand to him and held a small gold band with a solitary diamond shining in the middle just off the end of her ring finger.

Laura laughed again through her tears and said, “Yes.  Yes, yes, YES!”

Peter laughed, too.  “Always so impatient.  I haven’t asked you yet.”

He took a deep breath, wanting to give this moment the seriousness it deserved.  As he looked into her eyes, he said, “I love you, Laura.  Will you marry me?  Will you make a family with me?  Be the mother of my children?” 

“Yes,” she whispered, suddenly unable to speak. 

She watched as he slipped the ring onto her finger.  “Peter,” she gasped, “Is this…  This is…  This is our ring.  From before.”

“Yeah, I know.  We’ll get a real one, I just needed one to propose with.”

“We will not get a real one,” she cried, suddenly finding her voice as she threw her arms around him again.  “This is the real one.  You kept this ring, all these years…  You will have to pry this ring off my finger.”

For the next several minutes, Marshall became increasingly excited because Peter and Laura were paying no attention to her.  They were too focused on each other, laughing, hugging, kissing, and telling each other over and over how much they loved each other.

“Peter, stop.  I can’t!  This is too much.  I’m gonna explode or have some sort of neurological event from happiness overload…”  Laura laughed breathlessly.  “How many of my dreams are you planning to make come true?

“All of them,” he answered.  “Didn’t I tell you?”

[taste-in-music]

It’s been four years, so let’s talk about LOVE + FEAR!

MARINA dropped the diamonds and came back swinging with her fourth studio album, a two part experience built around the concept that all positive emotions stem from LOVE and all negative emotions stem from FEAR. Up until this point, I’ve heard the LOVE side of the album, but I thought that I would give my thoughts on each song on the record, as well as my overall consensus. There are sixteen songs, so sit back, grab a snack, listen along to the album with me if you want, and let’s dive right in. 

LOVE

Handmade Heaven

I 👀 ENVY 😑 THE BIRDS 🦅, HIGH UP IN THE 🌲 TREES 😊

I’ve talked before about how much I love this song, so I’ll try not to say to much 

the production on this song is so lush, with the trilling flutes, pianos, gently tapping cymbals, and explosion at the chorus. this song just feels so grand and larger than life. we stan this production

this is definitely one of the strongest tracks on the album, if not the strongest

Superstar

I’m not going to lie, this isn’t one of my favorite tracks. I think the lyrics are kind of flat (despite this song having four writers,) and the production just doesn’t do that much for me

however, I do like the sparkly and fun drop, and, as always, MARINA’s vocals

Orange Trees

I’m just in love with those “🍊𝓸𝕆𝖔๏ⓞ𝓸𝕆𝖔๏range 𝓸𝕆𝖔๏ⓞ𝓸𝕆𝖔๏range🍊” riffs

this is definitely a bop. it makes me want to sprawl out on a beach so damn badly

I can see this song getting giant this summer. I hope it does, it’s the kind of song we need on the radio right now

this song makes me want to jet set to Greece

Baby ft. Clean Bandit & Luis Fonsi

you know what? some people I’ve seen in the MARINA fandom don’t like this song because they think it’s “basic” or “too mainstream,” but I don’t mind it at all

Clean Bandit’s production is sharp as hell here, the Latin influences like the guitar and beat in the instrumental help it stand out from the rest of MARINA’s discography and also make me want to dance. I don’t mind Fonsi’s presence either, I think he and MARINA have pretty good vocal chemistry

especially that chrous! say it doesn’t slap, I dare you

I can understand the critique that this song doesn’t really fit in the with the flow of the album, I don’t mind its presence here. if anything, it’s a refreshing switch up 

Enjoy Your Life

this does work as a song to listen to if you just need to feel better

I don’t know if this was intentional, but the way the lyrics are written kind of make it seem like the song’s message is to just sit back and enjoy your life despite anything wrong that might be going on. I get what this is trying to communicate, but you don’t necessarily have to “sit back and enjoy your problems” and “might as well accept” your lot if you’re unhappy. you just have to be proactive and work to fix whatever it is you’re unhappy with. I don’t believe MARINA is saying that you should be passive and just let anything happen to you, I just think this song would hit a little harder if it mentioned how you can go about improving and enjoying your life 

True

the chorus of this song low key goes hard as fuck, it’s so damn catchy

nothing much else to say about this song

To Be Human

the imagery in these lyrics really elevate this song. little details like the “gold leaf” on the buildings, “Lenin's body lying dead" in the Red Square, and the village “where [her] father’s from” are just beautiful.

more great lines! “the missiles and the bombs sound like symphonies gone wrong,” “and if there is a god, they will know why it’s so hard to be human”

“Savages” may have been MARINA roasting humanity, but this song is her appreciating it. while this song might not have quite the biting, poetic wit of “Savages,” it still has some of the sharpest writing on this album

End Of The Earth

that vocal processing at the start of the song might only last a handful of seconds, but I really like it

also, those dark synths are great

this song has a more entrancing atmosphere, and works as an interesting transition track from LOVE to FEAR

FEAR

Believe In Love

the synthy bassline at the start of this song is giving me major Grimes vibes

the restrained and almost whispered vocal delivery is a nice change of pace form the LOVE portion of the album, but some of the vocal processing messes with MARINA’s rich tone and it’s kind of annoying. just let her sing, she has a great voice!

I love how the lyrics of the songs link together the themes of love and fear, like the final line in the chorus: “losing you is what I'm afraid of, I need to believe in love” 

Life Is Strange

yesss, violins! and tambourine?

we’re dipping back into those sweeping themes of humanity and human nature, like on To Be Human and Savages

“is it ever gonna be enough to love another and be loved?” IS THAT A MOWGLI’S ROAD REFERENCE I HEAR??! cuckoo bitches! (I guess she really does envy the birds high up in the trees)

“seems like everybody's having the best time of their lives but we don't know what's going on at any given time” is a big fat schmood

still, I wish the lyrics went more in depth here, like there were more specific details or music on why things are the way that they are

You

I’m sensing another tropical beat here

this is a real treat if you’re listening with headphones. that vocal warping on the “you”s in the background are fun

I wish that this drop had more oomph to it. it feels kind of like an anti-climax

the flowing feel of this song is nice. if I had one word to describe this song it would be “nice.” it’s not too over the top or surprising but I don’t hate it either

Karma

some more Latin-y guitars like the ones on Baby, as well as some hi-hats? I’m excited to see how this song builds

this song is giving me flashbacks to The Family Jewels with the “oh my god” and Electra Heart with the “heartbreaker” name drop. 

something about those “doubt doubt doubts” remind me of the DJ Snake remix of “You Know You Like It” by AlunaGeorge. on that note, what the heck ever happened to AlunaGeorge?

this song is very melodically satisfying, especially the chorus, but I still can’t help but feel like this song is missing something. maybe harder-hitting percussion? some bass? I can’t quite put my finger on it

I still like that there’s some more sass on this track, with the vocal delivery and in the lyrics

Emotional Machine

everyone’s been shitting their pants over this song, so I’m excited to hear it for the first time

that “I’m a ,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~ må¢hᵢïᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦiᵢñê,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~ ” really threw me for a loop and it’s fucking great there’s that MARINA weirdness I know and love!

Too Afraid

I don’t really have anything to say about this song. it’s fine, but there isn’t anything that special about it

the lyrics are kind of relatable, at least. with the idea of being afraid to open up in a relationship and be vulnerable

No More Suckers

everyone has also been shitting their pants over this song, but in a less enthusiastic way than with “Emotional Machine.” let’s pray this is an underrated bop

I like those peppering piano notes in the background, it’s very summery and fun

the instrumental reminds me of “Cheap Thrills” by Sia a little bit?

“you eat all of my food” and “you mess up all my towels” made me laugh out loud. are these suckers just really bad house guests? it kind of plunges so far into the valley of ridiculous that it rebounds back to being great

at least there’s a bit more sass and personality on this track

I don’t see why people dislike this. it’s about on par with the other songs on the album so far, at least for me

Soft To Be Strong

her vocals on this track are so lovely and delicate

“I choose to love you without fear, no shame in being sincere” is a really good lyric, I appreciate its sentiment 

the way the production builds up near the end allows the song to gain more momentum, especially with those echoing background vocals and prominent drums. there’s some of that oomph I was looking for 

My Thoughts Summarized: I’m all for artists evolving with their sound. Of course somebody who has been in the game as song as MARINA is going to sound different now then when she did back in 2010 with The Family Jewels when she was in her early twenties, and she has every right in the world to make the music that she wants to and that makes her happy. But something about a majority of the songs on this album don’t invoke the enthusiasm that I have for songs of hers on other albums. One of the qualities of MARINA’s that I especially admire is her strong lyricism, and the lyrics on some of these songs just fell a little flat for me, not going into detail or being clever with their wordplay. Along with that, the production on all the songs never really goes there, if you know what I mean. I was expecting a little bit more experimentation or change-ups in sound as the album progressed, and I didn’t really get that. As always, MARINA’s vocals are great throughout the entirety of the album. I just love how complex and unique her voice is, and I’m convinced she could sing “Happy Birthday” and have it sound amazing. To me, the best tracks are Handmade Heaven and To Be Human, which showcase strong writing and grander-scale production.

slay goddess aslhldghsdklgda 

Overall, LOVE + FEAR is a pretty standard pop album. It’s not my personal favorite in MARINA’s discography, but there are some standout tracks and moments that will stick with you after every listen. What did you think of LOVE + FEAR? Agree or disagree? Comment or reblog with your thoughts, I’m excited to hear what you think.

[thaumaturtles]

Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

 A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase  “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

[musictatertot]

Walking a mile in their shoes (Yang)

A previous post about Ruby and her character development up until the episode "So That's How it is" has lead to this! Yang is absolutely fascinating!

Let me know if you guys noticed anything I missed or if you think I have misunderstood/misinterpreted something (highly likely).

Yang Xiao Long

Out of every character in the show right now, Yang worries me the most. Her character development has been spot on and completely realistic, but not particularly in a good way. At least, not for the situation she is in.

Yang has been through some shit. Not even just recently, but her whole life. The feeling of abandonment that has followed her her whole life has never really gone away. In fact, it's only grown stronger.

In the first three volumes Yang was bullheaded, stubborn, energetic, and a large positive influence on her team. She had always been Ruby's cheerleader, pushing her to be more confident in herself and go for the gold! She was the main support pillar of Blake, working closely as her partner to make her feel safe and listened to. Those first three volumes we didn't really see many interaction between her and Weiss, but just because you aren't actively working to help someone doesn't mean you are not helping at all. Weiss is from a very tense, closed door kind of home. Yang, for all intents and purposes, was the Sparta kick to all closed doors she had never known was possible. Watching someone with that kind of confidence can be extremely inspiring, and I believe that might have been a strong portion of the respect the two clearly had for each other throughout those first three volumes, as shown in the two vs. two battle in the tournament.

Then Beacon fell and everything went wrong. Cinder was right to have them take out Yang the way they did (those rat bastards. I still love them as character portrayals but damn them!). Yang was the unshakeable foundation. She held absolute belief in herself because she had worked her damned hardest to be able to feel that way. She made sure her team, her family, saw her as someone they could depend on. Someone who was strong enough, and good enough, to defeat anything in their way.

Mercury and Emerald took that from her. I know we all place pretty much all of the blame for Yang's emotional turmoil right now on Adam (and rightfully so that dick) but I don't think we should forget that directly before that she had already been shaken down to her core beliefs. For a moment there, her whole team had been against her. Not aggressively, no, but it was clear that they were horrified by her actions (false as they were but no one had known that yet).

Suddenly her role was gone. Ruby looked at her as though she were the one that needed supporting. Blake, for a heart wrenching moment, believed she could become a cruel person. And Weiss...

Weiss actually surprised me. For all of her troubles with Ruby and Blake before I had expected at least a small confrontational remark. Nothing major, she had clearly already grown and opened up some by that point, perhaps just asking her why she did it. Instead she was completely supportive of Yang, immediately believing that she had a reason for what she had done and that the reason was valid. I knew she had grown but at this moment I realized how much. Good job Weiss.

I think that was a strong starting point for the supportive relationship (romantic or platonic, I just love the interactions and really, really want to see more so you can choose for yourselves) that they begin to develop in the fifth volume.

Weiss withstanding, Yang was still at a loss. Then she hears about her mother from Qrow. I won't say it was a wrong call, I don't have enough experience with either of their emotional states to say if it would have been better to remain silent or not, but it is factually accurate to say that Yang was in a very emotionally vulnerable state when she got the news.

Mentally vulnerable, mentions of absent mother thus bringing a strong reminder of those heavy abandonment feelings, Beacon falling, loosing an arm (another huge part of who she is) and then Blake leaves.

If the tournament had gone well, or at least Yang had been left alone, I feel like Yang would have reacted a bit differently about Blake's disappearance. She still would have been upset, absolutely, but the strong stab of betrayal she had felt would have been lessened. At least, I believe so. Too much had happened, she couldn't think about why Blake had left. Only that she had.

Thoughts of abandonment had already been on her mind. The situation exacerbated that and tore what little mental defenses she had left down. Losing her arm was, no doubt, an extreme blow to her core. The mental manipulation just added twice the impact.

(I actually think she should be equally, or maybe even more so in some cases, vengeful towards Emerald and Mercury, but I can see how the actual physical trauma has overwritten what they did in her mind a fair bit)

As such, I was supremely impressed when she was able to pull herself up again, and in such short time too! I know it was months covered in the fourth volume, but things like that can take up to years to even to begin making strong progress in. She wasn't completely stable, of course not, something like that doesn't just go away (and CRWBY you are gosh darn amazing for keeping that in mind you loveable masterminds) as shown by her shaking hand in tense situations and outbursts of anger whenever she is questioned but she was taking strong steps forward. She was trying, and really, that's all I wanted for her.

Honestly, I think at this point she has genuinely moved on from the trauma of what Adam has done to her (not the feelings they inflicted, but the trauma of it), taking that pain to make herself stronger, but she is still struggling immensely with what Mercury and Emerald did to her. This is especially worse because I don't think she even realizes that there is a problem that needs to be addressed (Jinn, can we please have some more questions please? We need a therapy circle, stat).

There are a lot of different ways to process trauma. It all depends on the person and what works for them! For the trauma with Adam Yang has turned her pain and fear into vengeance and anger again. Awesome for her, she's moving forwards! Unfortunately, by not paying attention to the mental attacks she suffered she is using those same tactics against those without fully being aware. In volume five it was not quite as noticeable, a few moments here and there (shouting at Ruby and Weiss, losing her cool when asking about her mother being turned into a raven), but I especially noticed it in her character songs. Especially "Ignite".

Yang's songs have always been about self assuredness, fighting, and unwavering confidence. These were still there, and I loved it.

There was also a lot more... aggression. "I Burn" as well as "Armed and Ready" were about fighting and fighting back against an oppressive force. "Ignite" was a bit more brutal. Slowly but surely her actions are taking on more violent means. She has always been a fighter, so violence is par for the course, but the line in particular in "Ignite" that caught my attention was "Didn't mother warn you, now she's going to mourn you". Several other lines follow this thread and I can clearly see that her anger and bloodlust is on the rise.

Not necessarily a bad thing, when fighting enemies. Not a great thing when it is directed at the people closest to you as well.

I adore Yang, but I am growing increasingly worried about her more constant bouts of anger. They are valid reasons for anger, but she is losing the restraint she once had. My main case in point is when her, alongside Weiss and Blake, turned their weapons on Qrow.

Weiss and Blake I can understand. They don't know Qrow. All they know is that he is extremely loyal to Ozpin so of course they would be wary of him approaching Ruby when she stands against him.

Yang, however, knows better. She's known Qrow even longer than Ruby, and his actions were clearly pacifying. Standing between him and Ruby, sure. Letting him know you stand with her, even if he disagrees. Pointing her weapon at him, that's too much. That is a reaction without thought, which is becoming more common.

I also find Yang acting more and more like, well, a rebellious teenager. Teenagers go through a hormonal period where it is literally almost impossible to see things from a point of view different from their own, particularly when they are upset. Everyone has it at different times in their lives ranging from preteens to even their early twenties, but it is still a process of growth. It is very egocentric, very normal, and a very bad time for it.

Yang has no patience anymore. She is acting hypocritically more and more often. Being angry at Ozpin for hiding things is natural, and I expected it. But the amount of anger she held and self righteousness she showed was at odds with her own secrets regarding Raven. Protecting her mother is something I empathize with, but Raven is also a Maiden. If you're going to get mad at someone for hiding things about the fight you are in, you should be aware enough that you are doing the same. She is not; this the teenage egocentrism.

Even during Jinn's story about Ozpin's past, Yang's expressions were more often anger than anything else. And not really anger at anyone other that Ozpin. She can not break herself from her original thoughts that he can not be trusted, regardless of his reasons.

I am especially worried about her thoughts on her mother now. Because she did not trust a word her mother said, but as it turns out not everything she had said was a lie. This, almost scarily often, had the ever present thought of "what else was she right about". Now I am worried that her mind will make that emotional leap of distrusting Ozpin so much that she believed everything her mother said. She still is angry and hateful for the abondment but now there is a valid reason for it. Her mother abandoned her for a reason, and that reason is currently locked away inside a lost farmer boy.

Im hoping Weiss or Ruby is able to get through to her. I wish it could be Blake, but with the previous abandonment and Yang's feelings about it I don't think she will really be willing to listen to what Blake has to say while her emotions are still high. Ruby has a very special connection to her and has the best luck of making her step back, but I think Weiss has the best chance of making her reflect. Speaking from experience it is kind of hard to take when you get a younger sibling's criticism for you choices. It's both a matter of pride and a matter of you, being the oldest, are supposed to be taking care of them and showing them the best way. I hope it will be Ruby who makes her take a step back, Weiss who makes her reflect, and Blake who listens and supports thus bridging the gap between them and restoring that trusting relationship Yang desperately needs.

I love Yang. I hope she looks in and works to help herself soon, before she does something she will regret.

[pikapegasus]

Ohh 044 seems like a fun one with starmora please do one with them

“If you use up all the hot water one more time, I’m going to ban you to the couch for a month.”

who wants some starmora hurt/comfort????? specifically, peter taking care of a battle-worn (and very grumpy and sleepy) gamora :))))

Being a Guardian of the Galaxy isn’t exactly painless, butPeter’s proud to usually report that his team suffers only minor injuries afterjobs. It’s partly due to the skills each of them have from their experiencesprior joining to the team, so they each know their way through a fight. Moreimportantly—to Peter, at least, because he’s just sappy like thatsometimes—it’s because of how long they’ve spent fighting side-by-side now,adjusting their fighting styles to complement each other and decrease thechances of major injuries during battle.

That being said, they don’t always come out unscathed. Theirmost recent job involved a run-in with some not-so-friendly Kree dudes, giventhe fact that the Guardians had kind of, uh, totally obliterated Ronan, and though they’d pulled through the fightvictoriously, it wasn’t without some injuries.

Despite being only six people, Peter loses track of theGuardians during fights sometimes, and one moment, Gamora had been by his side,kicking ass flawlessly per usual (no,her being flawless is simply fact,definitely not his opinion), only tothen reappear at the end of the battle with more gashes and bruises than anyoneelse because she just had to be thebest out of all of them, per usual (read: she’d helped Mantis, whose skilllevel isn’t quite up to par with fighting angry Kree soldiers yet, out of abind). She even had a frickin’ blasterhole in her shoulder!

Being the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

Very hard, because they’re all such self-sacrificialassholes, but not impossible.

Being the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy and Gamora’s boyfriend?

On a scale of one to ten, with one being the easiest and tenbeing the hardest, Peter has found the above to be a ten billion on the scale.

She’s fearless and proud and stubborn, he gets it (maybebecause he is, too, sometimes). But the moment they return to the Quadrant, Petergently lays his fingers on Gamora’s less injured arm, which is folded upagainst her chest as she presses a hand to her still very-much-bleeding wound,and he’s ready.

“Gamora—“

“I won’t run away,” she mutters, rolling her eyes, becausethe number of times he’s had to practically tackleher with the med kit is a little redundant. “But I’m fine.”

“Gamora, if you ever died in battle, I’m expectin’ you toresurrect yourself in the moment just to yell at us about how frickin’ fine you are,” Rocket teases over hisshoulder, just as he’s leaving the room.

“I can help ease the pain,” Mantis offers. She’s wringingher hands together as she looks at them with wide, glossy eyes. “Since this ismy fault.”

“It’s not your fault,” Peter says in sync with Gamora. He’spretty sure Rocket barks out a laugh with a huff of “Mom and Dad!” from the other room.

“I’ll be alright, Mantis,” Gamora says, offering Mantis asmall smile. “You should go be with the others and see if they need any help.They can also help you if you need anything.”

Mantis’ eyes flit over to Peter’s briefly and he just nodsalong to Gamora’s words.

“Okay,” she finally says quietly, ducking her head as sheturns and leaves the room.

Gamora sighs, opening her mouth to speak, but apparentlyeven just that movement is enough to jostle something that shouldn’t bejostled, because her face screws up ever so slightlyfor just a moment and Peter’s glad hedidn’t choose that second to blink.

“Alright, come on, let’s go,” he says, moving his hand onher uninjured shoulder to lead her to their room, where they (of course) keep the med kit.

Several pouty faces and stitches and bandages later,Gamora’s wounds are taken care of. She’s sitting on their bed without a shirton—not for that reason, mind you—andPeter can’t help the sympathetic sound that comes out of his mouth at the sightof all the wounds he’s dressed across her torso.

She just huffs. “I told you I was fine.”

“Babe, you alwayslook fine,” he teases with a wink. The corners of her lips tilt upward ever soslightly. “Fine as in hot. Not necessarily fine as in health.”

“Well, you look dirty,” she comments, crinkling her nose.She hides a yawn behind her hand. “You should shower.”

“Uh…don’t you want to shower first?” She’s covered in just as much battle shit as he is,easily. “Not that I don’t love seeing you half-clothed in our bed, of course,but you also look like you’re about to keel over at any second.”

“You helped me,” she says softly, her features softening.“You can shower first. I’ll be fine.”

“Debatable, again,” he says, shaking his head, but sometimesit’s best not to argue with aninjured Gamora, lest you want to be injured as well. (Okay, maybe not seriously, but injured Gamora is muchless patient than healthy Gamora, so Peter’s learned to pick his battles.) Heturns to his drawers, then offers her one of his random sleep shirts. “I’ll bequick.”

She nods, unfolding the shirt and carefully pulling it overher head and arms. He resists the urge to help her out, considering herinjuries and everything, but she somehow manages to get all limbs through theproper holes.

Once he’s sure she’s settled with a shirt on and all woundstaken care of, he enters their small bathroom and closes the door behind him.As he turns on the water and sets his things out, he hears her call to him over the sound of the shower—

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t use up all the hot water for once, please.”

“I don’t always use up all the hot water!”

“Yes, you do.”

“You don’t have any evidence! I’m innocent until proven guilty!”

He can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “If you use up all the hot water one more time, I’m going to ban you to the couch for a month.”

“I won’t,” he calls back out to her as he’s sliding out of his clothes.

Peter does takeher words to heart, though, and showers in what he’d argue to be record time.Warm water running over his skin after a particularly gruesome battle is apretty kickass sensation, he has to say, so he’d rather she get more of it thanhimself. He dries off in even quicker record time, looking at himself in themirror for a moment. He sighs at the sight, his skin clear of all the dirt andblood and grime that he’d accumulated throughout the day.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he opens the door, onlyto find Gamora slumping slightly in the same spot he’d left her, her eyesheavy. She yawns again in greeting.

“That was uncharacteristically fast of you,” she teases,smiling a little. It’s a little dopey-looking, to be honest, probably becauseof her exhaustion and injuries and maybe even some of the pain medication he’dgoaded her into taking. “Why don’t you shower that quickly every time?”

“I don’t like being banished to the couch,” he says, pullingsome pajamas out of his drawers on his way over to the bed. He drops the towelto the floor as he dresses.

“I haven’t had a warm shower in ages,” she says, eyeing him. “Since someone likes to use up all the hot water.”

“Well, let’s fix that now,” he says, fully dressed. He picksup his towel and tosses it onto the bed, then holds his hand out to her. “Yourwarm water awaits. Shall I escort you?”

She rolls her eyes, pushing herself up from the bed withouthis assistance. “I just want to shower.”

He retracts his hand then, watching her shuffle toward thebathroom. It’s…an interesting sight, because he’s not sure assassins aretypically described as adorable inthe way they grumpily pout while walking, rubbing exhaustion from their eyes asthey half-heartedly push the door open.

But the warm feelings blossoming in his chest at her littledisplay fade quickly as she stumbles over her own feet for a moment, holdingonto the door frame for support. He gapes at her back for a moment, trying tofigure out how in the hell someonelike Gamora could do something as mortal as trip,then rushes to her before she can close the door.

“Hey, on second thought, how about I help you with thatshower?” he offers as lightly as he can.

“Not tonight, Peter,” she mumbles out through another yawn,still holding onto the door. She rests her head against it, her eyes flutteringfor a moment. “Maybe another night.”

“No, no, not in thatway,” he says, somehow containing the laughter that bubbled up inside at herwords. “You just seem really…tired. Come on, I’ll help you wash your hair andstuff, so you don’t have to use your bad arm.”

She tries to glare up at him—or, at least, he’s assuming it’s supposed to be a glare,but it’s hard to make it out through her drooping eyelids—but he gently pushespast her into the bathroom. He reaches into the shower for Gamora’s things,setting them on the floor within reach for him before turning the water on.

“I can do it myself,” she says, turning to him with arms asclose to crossed as she can manage with her injury (like, one arm crossedproperly over her chest while the other just hangs at her side). “I don’t needhelp.”

“I want to help,”he says, reaching around her to close the bathroom door. “Come on, it’ll makeme really happy. Please?”

He offers her a pout of his own now, and whether it’s theexhaustion or her own weakness to his pouting (he’s pretty sure it’s become amutual weakness of theirs now), she just lets it go. She nods her head oncewith a small huff, stepping closer to him.

“Alright, arms up as much as you can,” he instructs, helpingher out of her clothes. He maneuvers his shirt over her head and arms withoutcompletely disrupting her shoulder somehow. Her pants and underwear come offmore easily, since she wasn’t injured there.

Once she’s out of her clothes, he holds her hand to steadyher as she steps over the small step into the shower. She’s able to wash mostof her body herself, just taking advantage of him to hand her soap, but hestays true to his promise with her hair, leaning precariously into the showerso he can spread the shampoo through her long waves. He massages her scalpgently under the water (and, to be honest, she’s kind of totally melting into his touch, her eyes closed and corners of herlips curved upwards, success) beforeswitching to conditioner.

After she’s clean, he turns off the water and helps her stepout, meeting her with open arms and a large towel. He’s practically hugging heras he dries her off, and she’s given up protesting by this point, simplywatching him run the towel up and down her body.

Minutes later, she’s ready for bed, wearing some of his pajamas (per a sleepily mumbledrequest, oddly enough), when she perks up.

“I have to brush my hair,” she recalls, but he waves heroff.

“Got it covered.” He brings her brush and a hair tie over tothe bed, sitting down on the bed behind her. “Then after this, bed.”

She sighs softly. “Thank you, Peter. For helping…witheverything. You didn’t have to.”

He drags the brush through her hair gently, carefullyworking out the tangles and knots from battle. He smiles, though she’s unableto see it. “I told you, I wanted to do this. I like taking care of you.”

Several moments of silence pass between them before sheadmits, “I like that, too. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

While he’s sure she had people many years ago who did, heunderstands where she’s coming from. He works out a particularly large knot,sticking his tongue out thoughtfully. “It feels…kinda nice to take care ofsomeone, for a change. Haven’t really had someone to do that for before,y’know? Having people to take care of means you have people; you’re notcompletely alone.”

“Yeah,” she says distantly.

They resume a comfortable silence then, filled only with thesounds of the brush running through her hair. After he gets a handle on all theknots, he starts parting her hair from the top to do a quick French braid.

By the time he’s weaving the last of her hair together, shesuddenly slumps back against him, her head falling back into his arms. He jumps a little bit, looking down at her tosee what’s up, but—

She’s asleep, soft snores spilling from her parted lips. Alltraces of her previous irritation and grumpiness in her face are gone, insteadreplaced with a softness that makes Peter’s heart melt a little bit.

“I knew you were too tired,” he murmurs with this dumb smile, simply watching her for a few moments.

Carefully, he turns her head just enough to finish herbraid, tying it off with the elastic band. He leans toward their pillows topull the covers back before slowly looping his arms under her back and legs.

It’s tedious, but he manages somehow, maneuvering her fromher position horizontal to the bed to her usual spot (though, given hersometimes erratic sleeping habits, he won’t be surprised to wake up to hercompletely horizontal, because what thefuck, Gamora). He slides under the covers beside her, pulling them up tocover her properly. She manages to stay asleep during it all—effective painmeds, for once—only moving to press herself more closely to him once they’resettled in.

Of course, it’s not perfect; the lights are still on both intheir room and the bathroom, their towels are definitely not hanging to dry, shit from the med kit is scattered all over theplace, and he forgot to close his fucking drawers because he’s got this talentfor being a disorganized disaster,but, whatever. He wraps his arms around Gamora and rests his head against hers,deciding to ignore all of it until the morning, because, hey, they both managedto survive another dangerous job, so they deserve a night to just relax, foronce in their crazy lives.

(This definitely beats sleeping on a couch.)

[survivorazores]

Ep. 15 - “Surprise! Everyone's a snake!” - Will

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164349795498/individual-immunity-6

I'm genuinely so sad that Emily left because she was probably one of the most genuine and nicest ones in the game, we were definitely on different sides after the Amanda G vote but she was never mean or anything. She easily would've won and I'm just hoping those two votes against me weren't any sort of warning... I wanna see how this next vote will turn out because this could be when Ruthie leaves and I need to make sure I can clear myself in case of a bitter jury. We'll see how this goes though.

My best plan here could be to do exactly what Ruthie did for me, go to her (if she doesn't win immunity) and say "If you have an idol, play it tonight - there's nothing I can do" because if I didn't have an idol and had gone home, I wouldn't have been mad at Ruthie at all, or at least if she had been trying to blindside me I wouldn't have known. That could backfire on me if she leaks it back to the others and they realize I'm playing both sides but... I won't know until I try. And I shouldn't worry about it too much until the challenge is over.

I feel so bad for Emily, she is the true robbed queen of this season and she should have won this game. Voting out people who honestly deserve to win is the hardest part of this game.

I'm so fucking naive. 4 hours of sleep does not, in fact, make the fact that everyone lied to you go down any fucking easier. Just....Emily didn't say “jump” and I didn't respond with “how high?!?!” Jesus fuckingn Christ but that's what people thought of me. Guess I really was just sucking on her teat all along. Big hearty shout out to Michael for leaving that in everyone's mind. Sure we joked about his last words but they didn't not make an impression ffs. You'll get your full video confessional when I'm in the states but until then just have this because it's a pretty good summary of what getting blindsided and lied to by the only people you trusted feels like. (Also, gimme an OTT edit if you must this round idgaf. If I go off enough in the video maybe there will be some good lines from it. Who knows) http://jaxxgarcia.tumblr.com/post/159167820182/when-he-plays-u-and-u-feel-like-a-clown

I've been just following whatever my main alliances says way too much. Well, fuck that. My strategy discussing votes with others was to just let them talk and I'd agree or direct them to something. It all feels way too passive and in fucking done with that. Being lied to by literally everyone really makes you reevaluate how you've been playing the game.

So my game might be about to take a drastic turn! I came into this game knowing i wanted to play with Amanda. But ive been basically rolling with her this whole time and I've been with her 100% for every vote weve been on. But since Emily left and Francie came to her realization that everyone thought of her as Emilys goat that I realized that I am essentially Amandas goat. It's no fault of hers, its just been me not being a strategic player, which I never have been. I get by on social game and admittedly that has been sub par this game. So the only conceivable way I could win is if Will and Amanda go home. I feel terrible but me and Francie can only win against each other and Ruthie or Ali. deep sigh. i adore amanda with my entire heart and she deserves to win this game, but if she gets to the end she wins 100% and I cant in good conscience let Francie go to the end with her without trying to get her a win.

me, two hours ago: I am SO fucking pissed about this blindside I'm forgiving no one. me now: I've eaten, had time to think about this logically, I'm calmer and I feel like I've been involved in more gameplay discussion today than I have been all trip.

Francie literally hasn't spoken more than 5 words in PMs to me this entire game and now after she's been blindsided she's gonna sneak up into my messages saying we should talk I just... what's the point? Unless if you're gonna provide me concrete, clear facts and quotes telling me that my allies are sneakier snakes than Russel Hantz I don't want to buy what you're selling. Period.

Tbh the worst part about it being down to the final 6 is that there's literally nobody to talk to anymore since Abbey/Amanda aren't online and we usually only talk strategy/memes, Ali is (I love you but) impossible to talk to for more than five minutes, I've barely ever spoken to Francie until now, and Ruthie's just like such a pure queen but I need someone in this game who doesn't want to talk about the game for like five seconds like is it over is it done yet

https://youtu.be/5d3dUxIrntQ

Here's how it would go for me ideally: we 3-2-1 with Francie being the target, and Ruthie being the 2 so in case of Francie playing an idol then Ruthie goes home and I can be 100% absolved of any blame. Then at F5, depending on who wins immunity, of course, we vote out Ruthie and I play the "there's nothing I can do!" card and hopefully it doesn't blow up in my face and worst case scenario Ruthie blows things up but doesn't ruin my game since she'll be more nervous about the girls than about me. THEN at F4, unless Ali pulls a miracle and wins, we unanimously send him home. In the case of him winning, the girls will probably turn on me but I'm sure I can convince Ali to stick with me since he thinks we're in such a tight alliance, so what'll happen is a firemaking between me and one of the girls which could screw me over but... it's a 1 in 4 chance of us losing final immunity and it better not fucking happen. Anyways I see my path to FTC very clearly right now and I'm going to win this shit.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164385869108/individual-immunity-6-results-with-5-correct

Currently I'm feeling like I'm Amanda Lynn's goat so.... she's gotta go when she doesn't have immunity.  Will has been my number one throughout this entire game and it sounds like he's trying to turn on me after getting off a call with Amanda Lynn so hmmm interesting we'll see about that.  We're at a place now when it's every survivor for themselves and if I'm playing it smart the best options for me to sit beside at the end are Ali and Francie, bless their hearts.  I mean yes they will both probably still beat me but I think I could make a good case next to either of them whereas Amanda would win- she's social, strategic and has made most of the moves in the game, Will is super strategic and would win and then we have Abbey who I think would win also, she's strategic too. I don't know what I'm going to do but we'll see soon.

https://youtu.be/T9oCLchv-3U

EXTRA DETAIL: Here were Emily’s thoughts after her conference with Amanda

I just ended a call with Amanda Lynn and I am so happy that girl was the one that won the call!!! I wouldn't have been able to say as much to anyone else. I'm pulling for her to win. And I'm so happy she cleared up my tribal and told me that Francie was in the dark. That was the only thing about my tribal that I didn't like... that I didn't know who voted with me, though I was 90% sure it was Francie before the call. I was completely honest with Amanda Lynn, I told her all the stuff I told Ali before I left as a last ditch effort to save myself, and I told her that I told Ali to talk to Francie should I leave that night. She won the immunity and I am so happy!!! She also told me that Ali was the one that had the idol UM WHAT!!! I was shooketh! And he's using it this tribal because, you know, it's his last opportunity. I think it would be most beneficial for Amanda Lynn's game if the idol was played on Abbey tonight just to ensure that she has Ali and Abbey with her in final five. I need Amanda Lynn to win all of these next few immunities because I don't want to give my vote to anyone else!!! The girl deserves it. Also I told her I was gunning for her should I have stayed another round, and she laughed and told me she's glad she got me out when she did. She was genuine about the Gal Pals final four up until I proved to be a very worthy competitor, and I really respect her game for taking me out. She told me it was so hard, especially because I kept saying how nervous I was all day. Which means my guilt tripping WORKED........ sort of. I still got voted out. But at least they felt bad. Ugh, but I really hope the best for that girl. I told her pretty much everything about these past few rounds and how I was in an alliance with the INFPs and how the "friend" I was referring to in my competition confessional (#2) was Bryce. I hope that we can be friends after this game. I think she's such a sweet girl and I admire her gameplay. I was an Amanda Lynn stan before this call, but now I'm her NUMBER ONE stan. Team Amanda Lynn!!! If I can't win, I want her to win. She has such a good read on the game and I trust that she'll make the best moves for her to get her to FTC. I'm nervous because if she doesn't win immunity, she might get booted like I did. She has a target and she's an obvious winner. We both agreed that we knew the winner would either be her or myself. I think I have acknowledged some mistakes that I made in this game and I will use them to better my future games! I'm really thankful Amanda Lynn decided to call me and talk through everything. Especially because I got to write another confessional. Yay! But I think I've said nearly all I wanted to say... So, farewell, confessionals. It was nice getting to write you. <3

I kinda regret not playing the idol on emily but like I kinda don't either it just adds to my survivor resume I feel like people don't see me much as a threat which is a really good thing because they have a long way coming, Amanda is running this game she tells me to do everything and I feel like I'm being used on top of that she's shady I mean she's a good person and I like her but she's way to much of a treath if she finds out I'm a threat she's gonna vote me off so my plan? Vote off her little sidekick Abby ;) I hope I don't dig my self into another hole I have an idol but I need to be slick and I wanna play the idol on will so it will be a 3-0 vote or a 2-0 vote I'm ready for these fireworks to erupt everywhere also I'm searching for a new job and at Orlando so sorry if I can't make live tribals but yassss I hope abbey leaves and then we can blindside Amanda Lynn and then will final 3 with myself Ruthie and Francie :) I'm so ready I'm shaking in my boots

Okay so trying to pick up where I left off in my last confessional. I've been thinking a lot about what Emily told me in our conference call. She seemed genuine when she told me she was rooting for me. But I can't help but wonder if she was telling me some things to get me to get Francie to the end so she can rally votes for her. idk I'm gonna try to not worry about that right now My main focus is getting me and Abbey as far as we can go together.. I'm still a little worried about Francie not trusting me. We had a conversation this morning and she said, "I won't lie, its a little harder now, but I still trust you." So I'm at least glad for her honesty, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to get her to trust me.  I told her about Will's 3-2-1 plan in case of the idol. There isn't much else I can tell her expect that I know where the idol is, and I can't tell her that right now because I need Ali to truly believe I didn't tell anyone about the idol so he does what I want him to do with it. "What do you want him to do with the idol, Amanda?" Well, it's simple, kids: I want him to play the idol on Abbey. After talking with Emily, I feel like the others are going to try and take a shot at Abbey because she is my right hand man, my Alexander Hamilton, if you will. And since they can't get me right now because I'm immune, they will try to go after her. I'm trying to get Ali to believe that me, him, and Abbey are a tight 3, and after tonight, we will have majority and can do whatever we want. But, we all need to get there. I told him that nobody has mentioned his name ever. Nobody is trying to target him, so if he plays his idol on himself, the jury could see it as a waste. But if he plays it on Abbey, the jury could see it as a big move (Something he is severely lacking in this game, minus the Amanda G vote). And he... agreed.... He said he was going to play his idol on Abbey. What? Is this real life? Did I actually convince him to do that? I guess I'll find out tonight at tribal. But if he truly does... then whew.... I will be shook at myself. Hopefully tonight goes as planned and Will goes home. Hopefully...

Oh come on like - duh, of COURSE I've heard about the vote what makes you think I wouldn't have heard about the vote by now there's literally 6 people left in this game

Surprise! Everyone's a snake and turns out that when I make f3 deals with people I need to be more careful! Ruthie is really the only real one left in this game huh?

Here's some tea, I let it slip to Will about what Amanda told me and now the three of them are in for a wee bit of trouble hehe. The smartest moves now are to get out Abbey then get out Amanda or Will who wasn't going to tell me about the 3-2-1 vote. Ali and I can pit them against each other and hopefully he, me and Francie can sail to the end!

Anyway Ruthie is just as bad as Ashley and cant keep her mouth shut and Ali is a snake and I'm screwed either way bc I highkey dont think Francie is actually going to vote with me but I can't wait to be voted out next round. Thank you, Will and Ali, for making me cry for the first time this game.

I really almost got played but I may have just Michele'd my way into having the best social game of all these snakes. I really have people willing to put their own games on the line and tell me that I'm the target? Like...nut? What did I do to get in this kind of game position? Sure Amanda thinks I can't separate the game from reality but like maybe that's what happens when you pull someone so deep into a promise you never intended to keep? It's just funny how people will yell that IT'S JUST A GAME but not be able to see it for themselves. I mean I know I'm not going home tonight but still, wowwwwwwww!!!

everything fell apart, amanda is crying, will is being mean and i wanna take a nap. the girls r voting for ruthie i guess ali might be idoling will idk its a big mess. everyone is sad and mad or oblivious (ali). An hour ago i was ready to be the bitter juror but now im gonna be the apathetic juror bc im just so fucking tired of all this bullshit deep fucking sigh

Pre-Tribal: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7aU3uBdz8F2bkdvNDBYR1hOZDQ/view?usp=sharing Post-Tribal: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7aU3uBdz8F2X3JCQjV3NV8xbWs/view?usp=sharing Also what I forgot to mention at the end of it was that we changed our vote from Will to Ruthie because she was running her mouth to Will and that's what started the shit that went down before tribal

NOTE: These confessionals are both discussing the events pre-tribal, it just so happened that tribal interrupted the confessional. Francie has a separate confessional coming in the following episodes discussing the rocks

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164424815603/tribal-15-abbey-and-ruthie-tied-3-3-revote-tied

LAST WORDS: This game has been amazing honestly I never thought I would've made it this far if I had pulled that move off I would've won the game I swear it to you but it's all good I hope I get to play again. :)

Ali T becomes the seventh member of our jury, and the first person rocked out of Survivor Athena: Azores (sixth place)

[zephyr-marquis]

This is me overthinking Beauty and the Beast (2017)

I’ve been thinking about the new Beauty and the Beast movie ever since I saw it and then completely avoided/forgot writing about it for a week or two I need to put down my thoughts. At this point, I’ve seen it twice: once with friends, the second time with the parentals. I’m pretty sure that I like it? But there are also things about it that bug me. And like, I know that they’re little things, but they’re the kind that build up after a while.

Bear with me. I’m going to start from the beginning of the movie and work my way forward. I’m going to try to keep it chronological (yes, there is a chronological order to my bothers), but there will be spoilers.

• From the top, I don’t really like the fact that they show the Beast being transformed and all that. I really think that the narration and opening from the cartoon is superior, mainly because it sets up the crux of the story quickly, while also still keeping it ~mysterious~. We don’t need to see the lead up and the transformation, it’s not the main part of the story. The movie is Beauty AND the Beast. Both characters are important, so we very quickly need to set everything up and meet them. Especially Belle, because she’s (technically) the main character. Or rather, she’s the audience surrogate. For me personally, the opening was long and needlessly drawn out.

• I don’t understand why Belle and Maurice’s house is in the village proper. In the cartoon, they’re on the outskirts, which makes for a pretty good visual metaphor and confirmation of their status as outsiders. They are both literally and figuratively on the outside of the village. Also, they own a farm. So why the hell are they in the village in the new movie?

• While we’re still in the village, why is Belle singing to no one during her part in the song? In the cartoon, she sings to the sheep. If you can’t get the animals to cooperate, why not have her try to show someone the part she’s talking about, but they keep turning away? Not only would it make more sense, it would reinforce the fact that no one is interested and Belle is alone and an outsider. Although I prefer that she sing to the animals. I don’t know about others, but I know that when I was growing up, I talked either to myself or to my pets. It’s what you do when you’re alone and your social group doesn’t really understand you.

• This isn’t a complaint, I just want to let you know I really love the song that Maurice sings and the music box. I also really like the fact that Belle invents stuff. It’s awesome.

• Also, after Gaston proposes and Belle slam dunks him, the entire audience from my first viewing started cracking up laughing when she ran out of the village and up the hill.

• How is it that Maurice gets lost, especially when he specifically said that he goes to the market every year? It makes no goddamn sense.

• Why don’t the wolves follow Maurice onto the castle grounds? It can’t be because of the enchantment because the whole area is enchanted. Hence the whole “snowing in June” thing that kept being brought up.

• I actually don’t have any complaints about the whole “Maurice stealing a rose and being punished for it” thing. That is actually par for the course in fairy tales. +1 for making me think of the Grimm stories.

• My biggest problem, now that I think on it, is how Belle ends up staying at the castle in this movie. Because here’s the thing. In the cartoon, BELLE is the one who suggests that she take her father’s place. Like, it’s explicit. She says it outright and when the Beast is surprised and touched by her sacrifice, we get our first clue that he may not be as monstrous as we first thought. He kind of ruins that when he doesn’t give Belle the chance to say good bye to her father, but he tries to remedy this by giving her a room (Lumiere helps with this suggestion, but that’s not the point. Lumiere helps with everything because he’s just that good. The Beast still goes through with it and that’s what’s important). In this movie though, the Beast is the one who says it and it’s played as being his idea. And then, instead of giving her word that she would stay willingly to make up for her father’s “crime”, she says that she’ll try to escape and then pushes Maurice out of the cage. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I really like the fact that this Belle has more of a spine but I actually enjoy that moment way more in the cartoon. She gives her word that, even though this is a situation she doesn’t want to be in, she’ll stay in her father’s place. It’s not ideal. Hell, it’s not even really fair. The “crime” is ridiculous and the Beast is being an ass. But Belle still does the right thing for the sake of her father. She keeps her word, she does the best she can, and she does it all by choice. Which is why I won’t get started on her little escape routine. The less said about that, the better.

• Be Our Guest is still one of the best musical numbers and sequences in the movie. Hallelujah!

• I don’t need an excuse for why the Beast is the way he is. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he was spoiled. He has a temper, he’s (presumably) some form of royalty, and is socially awkward because he’s been alone (except for his servants who, you know, SERVE him) for years on end without proper socializing. Why is this movie giving us background, when we don’t need background? Was this really something people were unclear about?

• On another note, why is there background on Belle’s mother? I don’t need to know why she’s not there. The fact that she’s not there tells me that the woman is dead, hence why she is not present. Disney is always killing off parents, whether it’s one or both, so why was this necessary?

• I feel like I should add, I don’t mind the fact that Belle shows such emotion and drive to know more about her mother. It makes sense and I did like those parts. But at the same time, considering the fact that her mother passed away when she was a baby and Maurice obviously loved his wife and probably couldn’t help talking about her every once in a while, why was this issue coming up at all? I guess what I’m trying to say is, while I liked the mom parts, they also took me out of the important parts of the movie.

• Guys, I liked Belle’s attitude. I really did. But there’s such a thing as your attitude showing your ass. The fact that it takes so long for her to actually thank Beast for saving her, instead of doing it immediately, really bugs me.

• Get that bitch a library. Bitches love libraries.

• I am a bitch. Now give me my fucking library.

• Where was I again?

• Oh, right. I absolutely love the fact that there are scenes with these two spending time together and reading to each other. It’s so lovely. 10/10, would recommend.

• The Magic Traveling Book™ is a nifty idea, but that is what we like to call a “why-the-frick-wasn’t-this-used-more-often” plot device.

• Which reminds me (again). How the hell did they get back to the castle after traveling all the way to Paris vis-à-vis MTB ™? Did the book come with them and we just didn’t see it? Or did they walk back?

• Frick, I forgot a word again. What’s the word for putting your thumb out to hitch a ride? It’s not jaywalking, but that’s what keeps popping up in my head.

• Damn it all.

• HITCH HIKING FUCK YEAH THAT’S WHAT IT WAAAAAAAAAAAS

• Did Belle and the Beast hitch hike back to the castle?

• Gaston’s song is really good and La Fou was spectacular all throughout it. Especially in the part with the illiterate joke.

• Side note: My dad was so funny at the end of the movie. My mom and I had to tell him that La Fou was gay. He didn’t believe us until he looked up articles about the whole ~controversy~ and even then, he didn’t quite believe it.

• “How could you not tell he was gay?”

• “How could you tell that he was?”

• Three guesses and the first two don’t count

• My other biggest gripe is the whole thing with the enchantress. I really didn’t like the fact that she stayed in the story. All she was needed for was the cursing part. Instead we have another Plot Mover/Plot Device-in-the-shape-of-a-character. I guess she stuck around to save Maurice? And to give us a “Sike!” moment at the end? Because that was necessary and we totally needed an explanation for how Maurice survived out in the wild, never mind the fact that he’s a grown man who has a farm, is in good shape, and is also (I assume) intelligent. Yeah, Maurice is sick in the cartoon and Gaston becomes a new level of creepy/murderous in the movie, but really? Apparently Maurice could survive the night out in the cold with the threat of wolves, but he can’t somehow get himself out of his bindings and find a way to survive….

• Anyway

• They started this movie off with trying to make Gaston seem more human and relatable and then he loses his shit over not getting the girl. This isn’t a complaint, it’s just something I wanted to mention and appreciate. Seeing the way he slowly loses his mind and humanity was fascinating.

• Here’s a thing that’s been percolating in the back of my mind for a while and it’s something I’m not sure about how to discuss. So, La Fou is the gay character who switches sides at the end and ultimately becomes a good guy and has a happy ending. We never really see his fate at the end of the cartoon, so we automatically assume that, since he was a minor bad guy there, nobody gives a shit. Now here’s my question. Is the only reason that La Fou gets any kind of ending in this movie because of the fact that he was given more of an expanded role? Because, let’s face it, he is way more prominent and has way more characterization than his cartoon version and so that would make sense. Or is it because he was the special gay character and they wanted to make sure, especially after all of the attention was put on his sexuality, that he was given a happy ending?

• I don’t know if this is a concern or not. I hope it’s all because of who he is as a character and that he basically earned his happy ending due to his actions. But I can’t help that little niggling feeling in the back of my mind that it was because of his sexuality. A lot of that feeling, I think, is because of all the coverage and hype that surrounded his status as a gay character. I don’t know, I just feel suspicious about that whole part of La Fou and I hate that because I really liked him.

• Did anyone else have this thought? Am I overthinking things? My head is spinning.

• I want so many of the dresses and outfits in this movie, it’s not even funny.

• I keep seeing people mention Adam’s (is that still his name? who the frick cares) growl at the end of the movie and everyone is calling it super sexy and whatnot. Am I the only wondering just how much it hurt his throat to make that noise? Does this mean he still has some of his “Beast” characteristics? Like, does he keep his strength or agility? Does he now have an expanded lung capacity or a bigger heart? Oh shit, how cool would it be if he could transform back and forth between his Beast and Prince forms?!

• Quick! Prince Adam! Grab the enchantress and ask for the transforming ability! You can be like a French Superhero or something! And Belle can use the MTB™ to travel all over the world with you and invent superhero gadgets!

• Oh my god, did I just come up with a Beauty and the Beast fanfiction where Belle and the Beast are a superhero crime-fighting duo? I think I fucking did!!!!!!!!

• Do the French have superheroes? This isn’t any kind of ribbing or a joke against the French, I’m seriously asking.

Anywho, that was the gist of my issues and concerns. They’re not any kind of deal breaker or a serious knock against the movie, so if you liked it a lot, don’t think of this as some kind of personal insult aimed at you. I just have a hard time turning my brain from “critic” to “audience” and this is what usually comes of it.