#she just came back from a three days trip with her boyfriend. she's happy. i know she hages being with me so i'll just stay up here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wooahaes · 1 year

Text

when i grow up

pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: mostly fluff. childhood friends to lovers. very minor angst.

word count: 12.3k~

warnings: a minor fight between seungkwan + reader over reader’s shitty boyfriend (stated to not be mindful of their boundaries + just a shitty dude). some mentions of injuries. mentions of seungkwan being taunted as a tiny kid. food mentions. ask to tag! also minor proofreading tbh

daisy’s notes: fun fact this was going to end in a wedding originally! maybe i’ll write a short sequel at some point, but im happy with this as it is.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, was... Maybe a little bit of a crybaby.

At least, that was what the other kids called him--or they used to, until his mom came into the school to talk to his teacher with a tight-lipped anger at the way her son was being treated. Sometimes the other kids would taunt him for being so soft, for crying easily on his first day of school because he missed his mom. He was social enough nowadays, getting along with pretty much everyone else with ease. Sure, there was a tiny group who would still poke fun at him on the playground when he was a little too misty-eyed, but for the most part he was left alone. Still... It was mean, and Seungkwan couldn’t exactly understand where all of that came from.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, also knew you. You lived up the street from him, you were in his class, and you had a matching lunchbox and backpack set: dark blue with brightly colored dinosaurs covering the thing. Your backpack also had this little Totoro plush that hung from it, because he always was a little jealous because he wanted one, too. He knew you because he knew your laugh from across the room, always a little awkwardly loud, but he wanted to know what you were laughing at. He knew your drawings, always so colorful as could be when you proudly showed them off. He knew you and the way you skip home ahead of him some days, and he knew the way you could still be quiet at school (save for your laugh), but that you’d always yell happily when you saw your dad waiting for you... And a little less loudly when it was your step-mom, but only because she would gently shush you and remind you to be mindful of your neighbors. Then she would pull you into her arms and ask about your day at school. Seungkwan only knew because your house was before his, so he would always hear her talk to you as she slowly walked up the path to your home, hand holding yours.

(You’d always shyly wave at him, too, when he stopped for a moment to look at you, because Boo-Seungkwan-age-four already felt a sense of fondness toward you.)

So when he tripped on his way home one day, skinning his knee, he was surprised. Not that you were there at all, but... The fact you stopped, turning back to him with this curious look on your face before coming back to him.

“Are you okay?”

He was crying again, sobbing even. Crybaby rang in his head as he furiously shook his head, trying to come up with the words to say. To tell you no, that he was okay, but to still ask for his mom because she would make everything better...

You just stood before him, head tilting before looking down to where he was clutching his knee. And then you gasped, setting your lunchbox down next to him before pulling your dark blue dino backpack off of your back. “It’s okay! I can help!” You were beaming brightly, “Mama is a doctor!”

He thought that meant you would go get her, especially because your house was closer. Instead, you unzipped the little front compartment of your backpack, pulling out this tiny makeshift first aid kit that your step-mom must have put together. You kneeled down, opening it with this serious look on your face as you tried to remember the basic steps you had insisted on your step-mom teaching you, always so independent.

(Truly, there were only three: wet wipe to clean it, bandage to protect it until an adult could look at it properly, and a kiss to make it all better.)

So Seungkwan, now sitting off to the side with you, watched as you very carefully opened this little packet. “It hurts a little,” you said, opening up the wipe. You held out your other hand, “but holding mama’s hand helps me.”

Face still wet from his tears, Seungkwan roughly wiped at his cheeks with one sleeve before taking your hand. He held it tightly as you carefully wiped his knee. It stung, but holding your hand... helped, in a weird way.

With everything carefully cleaned, Seungkwan could finally see how tiny the gash really was. He almost felt embarrassed for being such a crybaby over it, but you didn’t call him that. You let go of his hand, looking deadly serious as you examined his knee further before turning to your tiny first aid kit. “Do you want the dinosaurs or the bears?”

Seungkwan just stared at you, completely confused.

“Hurry!” You said. “Dinos or bears?!”

He mumbled that he wanted the bears, whatever that meant, but he could see the disappointment in your eyes. “But the dinos are okay, too..”

Only for you to smile a moment later, giggling. “It’s okay,” you said, putting down one of two bandages into the box. “I like bears, too.”

Immediately, that set you off rambling about how your dad bought you this HUGE teddy bear for your room after you moved here to be with your step-mom. It was bigger than YOU which meant it was REALLY BIG and you loved it to death. Your tiny hands were careful in smoothing the teddy bear bandage over his knee, and then he watched as you leaned forward to plant a tiny kiss against it.

You turned back to him with a serious expression, “You HAVE to kiss it, or it won’t get better.”

Seungkwan wasn’t sure if that was true (his parents kissed his boo-boos better, sure, but maybe it was true since you sounded so confident in it), but all he knew was that he wasn’t crying anymore.

With his knee taken care of, you put away the kit into your bag and stood up. You held out your hand, and helped him up, not letting go. Despite the way you struggled with the first part of his name (which wasn’t a first for him--he noticed that a few other kids struggled with it a little), you proudly called him Kwannie and said you would walk him home. He wiped his face again with his sweater sleeve, and let you happily lead the way, talking about your favorite dinosaurs from the big book that your dad bought for you. And he felt happy when you looked at your dad, waiting for you to come home, that you needed to walk Seungkwan to his mom because he got hurt.

Your dad had kind-of laughed before he ruffled your hair, saying he’d be right there waiting for you. Seungkwan almost pouted and told you that he would be okay, but you turned back to him with shimmering eyes, still holding his tiny hand in your own.

Upon coming to his mom and introducing himself, you had turned serious again. “Kwannie got hurt on the way home,” you said, pointing at his knee, “but I helped. Please make sure he takes care of it because--” A pause to breathe, “--because he’s my friend now and I don’t want him to get hurt anymore.”

(Seungkwan, later in life, looked back on that moment happily. His mom still recounted the story with a laugh, so full of love for the tiny child who acted as if they knew how to treat a patient, yet still so polite with her. She’d always cite that as the moment she knew the two of you would be friends.)

Seungkwan, with one hand holding his mom’s, waved at you as you promised to sit with him tomorrow at school before turning tail and running back to your dad. He watched as your dad scooped you up into his arms, carrying you back inside your home as you happily shrieked.

Seungkwan, at age four, lacked the words to know for sure that he loved you. He didn’t know what it fully meant, or how deep his feelings for you would go, but he knew the happy feeling you gave him was the same happiness he felt when he was with his family or his other friends.

Love is happiness, Seungkwan, age four, decided. Love makes you feel happy.

Seungkwan, age eight, was old enough to walk to your house entirely on his own. So were you, which was why Seungkwan was waiting outside his home, head resting in his hands,sitting on his front porch. While his mom would have him do his homework before dinner (his dad liked to sit with him and help him), your dad would always have you do part of it as soon as you came home. He didn’t fully get it, to be honest, but you said something about how your dad liked helping you for part of it, while your step-mom would sit with you for the rest. You always claimed that you didn’t really need it, but Seungkwan wasn’t sure whether to believe you or not. After all, his parents were happy to help him when he needed it. There was nothing wrong with needing help.

But today was Friday, and Friday meant you got to have a sleepover at Seungkwan’s house. He spent all day figuring out how to make the best blanket fort and his parents promised pancakes tomorrow morning. He was giddy with excitement, growing more and more impatient as he waited for you. The new episode of your favorite show came on tonight, too, and he wanted to watch it with you instead of just talking to you about it on Monday or whenever you came over to play next. Plus! His parents said they might take both of you to the pool tomorrow! It was because his sisters wanted to go, but he was okay with that. It still meant that he would get to go swimming with you because it’s unbelievably hot outside.

The only reason he was waiting outside today was because both of his sisters teased him, and he was still mad about it. They said something about how he liked you, and Seungkwan couldn’t fathom what else they meant by it. Of course he liked you! You were his friend--his best friend. But they had laughed at him (strike number one), only to say it was obvious (strike number two) that Seungkwan like liked you (strike number three). Which was gross because you were his best friend! Like-liking you meant he wanted to do things like holding hands with you, which he already did because you were best friends, and... He wasn’t sure. Kissing? Yuck.

But Seungkwan saw you coming down the sidewalk, holding onto the straps of your backpack proudly, and all of that anger melted away like ice cream on the sidewalk. Ooh. That’s an idea... Maybe he’ll ask his mom for ice cream later. He was sure if he stood up that he would be able to see your dad watching you from down the street, making sure you got there safely. But he was too excited. He hopped up, rushing over to you and taking your hand, complaining about how he was about to die of boredom while waiting for you. You merely giggled, letting him drag you into his house. He called out to his mom that you were there, and she barely had the chance to warmly greet you before Seungkwan was already dragging you upstairs to see his cool new lamp that his parents bought him. Plus all of his toys were upstairs--the teddy bears and the action figures and the instruments and everything else--so where else would the two of you go? Outside again? It was too hot for that.

Seungkwan pointed at the large lamp sitting on his dresser. “I’ll show you it later. It’s better when it’s dark.”

You’d accepted his reasoning at face value, trusting him completely before turning your attention to the instruments in his room. His mom had bought him this little toy keyboard for his birthday that year, and you had pushed him to sing because you always loved hearing him sing. It devolved into more noise than music, but the two of you were happy.

Until his sisters told you both to keep it down because they had homework (gross--Seungkwan didn’t want to have that much homework ever). Which meant the two of you decided to brave the heat for the next few hours, because Seungkwan had pouted and said that the two of you would just go somewhere else. There was plenty to do outside anyway, and the two of you could come back in whenever you wanted. His mom called you back in eventually, asking for the two of you to help her and Seungkwan’s dad with making dinner. It was a subtle way to redirect you and Seungkwan’s endless energy somewhere else, but you were always happy to be helping.

Time always seemed to fly faster when Seungkwan was with you. After dinner, the two of you were sitting together to watch the new episode of your show together, his parents sitting in for a little longer. Eventually it was time for your blanket fort, which meant Seungkwan’s dad would help the two of you get everything set up before he and Seungkwan’s mom retired for the night. She had gone around to make sure all the doors were locked, and had gently pulled you aside to remind you where their room was (right down the hall) and that you or Seungkwan could come get them for anything if they needed it.

The last time the two of you had a sleepover, you had grown scared in the middle of the night and ended up going home when you were inconsolable. Seungkwan had felt bad watching your step-mom walk you home, but his mom was reassuring: some people simply got nervous when they were away from their parents for too long. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t yours. Everyone was different. But this time you told her you were determined to stay the full night. Seungkwan wanted you to, as well, but he wouldn’t be mean or anything if you couldn’t.

With a movie coming to an end a little while later, Seungkwan perked up. “Oh!” He climbed out from underneath your blanket fort, bouncing with excitement for a moment, “Wait here!”

Seungkwan rushed up to his room, carefully pulling the lamp from its place. He came back downstairs, making sure to take slower steps than before in order to keep from dropping it. It was this battery operated lamp with a remote and a built-in timer, so the two of you could leave it on for a while since it’d go off by itself. He set it down in front of you, walking away to turn off all of the lamps and to draw the curtains shut even tighter. He came back to you, the only light in the room being from the television screen with its rolling credits, and sat down. He clicked it on a few times, and then the room was lit up with little stars everywhere.

You went wide-eyed and gasped, filled with pure excitement with the sight (and Seungkwan found himself smiling, overjoyed that he had made you happy). “It’s beautiful...”

This is love, too, Seungkwan thought to himself. Love was more than just feeling happiness around someone. It was sharing it, too. His face was illuminated by the lamp’s stars, and so was yours as the lights slowly rotated around the room. Love is sharing happiness.

Somehow, in all the shuffle, Seungkwan looked up and noticed that your favorite bear (the one he gave you, he proudly thought) was stuck underneath the coffee table. It must have been pushed over there while the two of you were having snacks, since you’d carefully cleared the area.

“Your bear...” He pointed out, hugging the dinosaur you’d given him for his fifth birthday close to his chest.

“Oh!” You crawled over, stretching out your arm to grab it and pull it close to you.

Only to pop up too quickly, bumping the top of your head on the bottom of the table, having slightly underestimated how much space you needed to safely get back. You gasped in pain, crawling back out fully and turning back to him with teary eyes.

“It’s okay!” He said quickly, gently talking to you to help calm you back down. The same way his mom would talk to him when he did the same. The same way you did, too, four years ago. He looked, fingers threading through your hair as he tried to see if there was a bruise--thankful he found none. He leaned forward, gently kissing the top of your head before he sat back down in front of you.

“It helps, right?” He said, recalling your very professional advice from all the time ago. Although maybe Seungkwan was starting to realize that it wasn’t magic...

But you just stared at him for a moment, before you burst into giggles. He puffed his cheeks out in response, a little miffed that you were laughing at him.

Only to regret it a second later. “I’m glad you’re my best friend, Kwannie,” you said. Another second later and you gasped, reaching over for your backpack. “I drew a picture for us!”

“For us...?” He watched curiously as you rooted around in your backpack, shoving things aside before you pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

You nodded, slowly opening it up and smoothing it out. “Adults live together, right?”

You had drawn a nice little house with a rainbow above it. The two of you, clearly labeled just in case someone didn’t get it, stood in the middle in front of it, with drawn-on smiles as you held hands. Around you were smaller figures that Seungkwan figured out based on the number of people had to be both your family and his. There was also this little thing on the ground that looked kind-of like a cat... or maybe it was a dog. He couldn’t figure out which.

“So when we get bigger,” you continued, “we’ll all live together in one biiig house.” Your eyes were twinkling, far prettier than the ones from his cool lamp. “And we’ll get a pet. I started to draw a kitty, but then I remembered that you like dogs, so...”

He took the paper from you to study closer. “We can have both,” he said, studying it closely. He could see where the triangle ears had been made into more puppy-like ones. “And they’ll be best friends...” And then he sniffled, emotions already betraying him as he was overwhelmed with this pure joy for you.

Boo Seungkwan, age eight, thought that he loved you almost as much as he loved his family. You were his best friend, and he knew this at that moment.

This is what love is, right? Sharing happiness. At least, that was what he thought it was as he later fell asleep next to you, his pastel blue dinosaur tucked into his arms while the projector covered both of you and the room around you with stars. Your picture was tucked away nearby, and Seungkwan dreamed that night of a rainbow over a big house where all of the people he loved most were all together.

Seungkwan, age twelve, finally started to feel like an adult. That was why he liked to walk to your house after his after-school study sessions: because he didn’t get to see you anymore. His parents enrolled him in a boys school, which you continued on to attend a co-ed school in the area. He’d been a little bitter about it to begin with, but he was old enough to know that he could see you pretty much whenever he wanted to. He had a flip phone, he could call you whenever he wanted (except he had to be mindful of how many minutes he had, so he’d just call you on his home phone instead) to ask if he could come over. So coming over to your house was how Seungkwan chose to see you when everything else was over. He played basketball, too, so it kind-of meant it ate into his time with you... but he still made friends that way.

(But he still would proudly say that you were his best friend, which meant he liked you the most.)

The two of you did homework together most days. You would get home before he did from your soccer practice (although you always said whether you were any good at it was up to debate; but Seungkwan said he would be the loudest person in the stands for you at any and every game he could make), so he would just go straight to your house. He knocked, you would let him in, and the two of you would spread out your homework at your dining table and talk about whatever while you worked.

“There’s this new guy in my class...”

Seungkwan felt his heart sink a little. “Huh?”

“I dunno...” You were smiling a little, balancing your pen between your fingers. “He’s cute.”

But I’m cuter, right? Seungkwan pushed back on that thought hard. No need to play the jealous best friend. “And?”

“And what?”

“Is he just cute?”

You had hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “I don’t know... He answered a question for me when I was struggling with it. And then, I dunno... He just kinda smiled at me.”

Seungkwan had never hated the fact he didn’t go to school with you more than he did now. “Does he go to your games?”

You looked up with this knowing smile, reading him so easily. With a teasing glimmer in your eyes, you rested your head in one hand, “Oh... Kwannie, are you jealous?”

“No!” He huffed, pouting at your words. “I just... He...” He didn’t know what to say. He was a little jealous. He missed being around you so much.

Instead of pushing him further, you just laughed. “It’s okay,” you said, foot bumping against his calf. “No one’s going to replace you. You’re still my favorite person.”

Until you find someone else, a tiny voice in the back of his head told him. He just kind of frowned, going quiet.

And then you frowned, too. “Seungkwan...”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’m not jealous you have other friends.” Not other guy friends that you call cute, but... “I just miss being around you.”

“I know, but... I don’t like him more than I like you,” you said. “You’re always going to be my number one favorite person...” You kind-of smiled, “Just like how I’m your number two favorite.”

He looked up, brows drawing together. “Two...?”

“Isn’t your mom number one?”

He nodded. Right, but... “If we’re just talking about friends,” he shifted in his chair a little, “then you’re my number one favorite, too.”

The statement earned a shy smile from you in response, immediately making you change the subject back to the math homework that the two of you were supposed to be working on. Seungkwan liked that cute smile, though, even if he had to turn away from it to look at math. He liked doing homework with you, too. You’d help him with his English homework, he’d help you with history...

It worked. The two of you just fit together.

A few hours later, his mom called him on that little flip phone (Seungkwan still wanted one with a screen, but his parents said maybe when he was older--he didn’t need a distraction. But he could barely even text you or any of his friends on it. At least you had one of those phones with the slider keyboard thing) to come back home, and he groaned after he hung up the call. He wasn’t done talking to you, but you just reminded him that you could call him on the home phone after his parents have gone to bed. He promised he would just use his cell phone--he had the minutes, he just preferred saving them--and then reminded you of his upcoming basketball game. You already promised to be there with a poster for him with whatever he wanted on it.

Seungkwan walked home slowly, savoring a few minutes of alone time before he came back in. He set his bag down on the couch with the plan to move it later, already hearing his mom greet him and immediately give him instructions. There was already a cutting board and a knife waiting for him with a few vegetables sitting atop it. So he washed his hands, and then got to work with helping her as she rattled off dinner plans casually.

At one point, he stopped, conflicted in his feelings. He thought he knew, but... “Mom?” She hummed in acknowledgement, a sign for him to continue. “What is love like?”

His mom stopped what she was doing, turning to him with a certain tenderness in her eyes as she watched him for a moment. His sisters had boyfriends before (although that, in Seungkwan’s mind, was always different because it was gross to see them hold hands or kiss because ew, gross, he doesn’t want to see them do that). He’d seen his parents love each other, too, throughout his life in the quiet way that parents seemed to: carrying burdens together, helping one another with the hard things of being an adult... Yet it seemed his mother had just realized how big he’d grown. When did he get this old to start asking such big questions like that?

“Love is...” She paused, clearly thinking her words over carefully. “Love is hard to define.”

Seungkwan pouted. That didn’t help.

She could see that, and in response smiled to herself with this light chuckle. “Love is a lot of things, Seungkwan. Love can be when you see someone and feel a need to care deeply for them--as much as you care about yourself.”

“And?”

His mom continued with preparing dinner, gesturing quickly for Seungkwan to keep working as well. “You want the best for them. Sometimes it means putting aside your own feelings in order to help them.”

“And?”

His mom looked up again, setting down her own knife. “Seungkwan... You’ll know it when you feel it.”

Love is a feeling. Seungkwan could accept that one a little more, as obscure as it sounded.

And he knew that night as he started to drift off while talking to you on the phone that the warm feeling in his chest, curled up there like a kitten finding its home, was love.

Seungkwan, age fifteen, was your high school classmate again. Gone were the awkward middle school years.. Except the stupid bouts of jealousy whenever you talked to him about boys that you thought were cute. He was your best friend, you were allowed to like other people, but the feelings he harbored for you felt complicated and he always pouted over it later when he was alone. This wasn’t fair to you. Why couldn’t his feelings just be fair?

Except this time was worse. This time one of those guys asked you out. Not that Seungkwan would have stopped him: he didn’t think you liked him the same way he liked you. His mom told him that love meant sometimes putting someone else’s feelings above your own. That was why he was lying on your bed, waiting for you to come back upstairs with your snacks, listening to the CD that the two of you made together. You had begged for him to come help you figure out what to wear on your date with some guy who used to play soccer with you (it was some whole friend thing in the park, not officially as a team). Seungkwan, as much as it killed him, was happy to help you. That was what friends were for, right? You’d do the same for him.

He could hear the sound of your footsteps approaching and perked up, watching as you pushed your bedroom door open with your shoulder. “Okay. So...”

You made your way over, passing him a bottle of water before carefully setting down the two bowls of snacks you’d scrounged up. You then walked over to the MP3 player speakers, turning them down to avoid a distraction. Seungkwan just waited as you opened up your closet doors, lips pressing together thoughtfully.

“His dad is going to drop us off at an amusement park,” you started sifting through clothes, “and then I think we’re going to see a movie afterward, too.”

(Seungkwan, although he was very good at hiding it, started to stew a little in his own feelings. A movie? What if Yuchan kissed you? Then he’ll die because what if you and Yuchan were perfect together and you forgot all about Seungkwan?)

“So... I was thinking... Maybe something comfortable?”

“Like jeans?”

You glanced back at him over your shoulder before shrugging. “I dunno. I looked it up and there aren’t any water rides, but what if it’s too hot for jeans?”

“Then wear shorts,” Seungkwan almost wanted to roll his eyes, instead opting to busy himself with grabbing the bowl of chips. “I’ll check the weather.”

While you continued to fret over things, Seungkwan pulled up the weather on his phone to check. It didn’t seem like it’d be too hot, so jeans (or whatever pants you wanted) seemed like a fine option to him. But then you turned to him, clutching a pretty yellow and black striped shirt, and frowned.

“Seungkwan, what if he wants to kiss me?”

His heart skipped a beat at the question, and Seungkwan hoped that he looked nonchalant as he glanced at you before shoving a chip into his mouth. “If you want to kiss him, then kiss him.” Please sound normal. Please don’t give me away--

“But what if I’m bad at it? I’ve never kissed anyone before...”

Seungkwan looked up, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He could see the gears turning in your head. In the same moment he said “No,” you were already speaking up with a “Seungkwan, can you kiss me?”

His word sank in, and you pouted. “Why not? You’re my best friend. It won’t be weird if it’s you.”

Seungkwan felt the blood rushing to his face. “Because it’d be my first kiss, too.”

“So you don’t want me to be your first kiss, either?” You huffed, “Well, what if you’re bad at it?”

He opened his mouth to counter you, only to stop as the words escaped him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, thought you had a point. But Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want to concede so easily. “So you think I’ll be bad at it?”

You let out a loud groan, head falling back. “If we’re each other’s first kiss, then it won’t be a big deal when we do it for real. If you really don’t want to kiss me, I’ll shut up, but I trust you more than--”

Seungkwan sighed, setting aside the snacks as he hopped up. He came over to you, only to realize he came... far too close. Closer than he meant to, but you still shut up and stared at him. “Just... Lean in and do it, right?”

That was what they did on TV. In movies. In books.

A moment later, you nodded. “Are you sure?”

And then Seungkwan nodded, confidence dwindling by the second. “I’m sure. Are you...?”

He was. If he sucked, then you’d tell him. He trusted you, too, after all. Seungkwan leaned in tentatively, uncertain in his movements... only for his forehead to smack straight into your own. The two of you immediately leaned back with a wince, your hand flying to your forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut. Years ago, you would have laughed at him and kissed his forehead to make it better. Now you would always just get embarrassed whenever he brought it up, reminding him that you were four and that he did it, too, before learning that kisses weren’t a valid form of medicine.

Surprisingly, though, he did hear you laugh a moment later. “Just... stay still, then,” you said.

He opened his eyes, and you reached up, gently holding his face in place before angling your own.

And then you kissed him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want these few seconds to end. It was awkward, and your nose bumped against his when you went in for the kiss, but you didn’t shy away like he did when your foreheads smacked. Your lips were softer than he thought they’d be (and he was overthinking, positive that his were chapped because he lost his lip balm weeks ago and kept forgetting to get a new stick). But he kissed you back, uncertain in the motion, just to do it. To say that he kissed you, too. That it wasn’t one sided.

A few seconds later, and it was over. Neither of you knew what to say. He backed off, heart racing in his ears as he watched you.

“His favorite color is yellow,” you said after a moment, holding up the shirt you’d thrown onto your bed at some point. “So I thought--”

“Yellow suits you,” he said, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the hopelessly fond look on his face. He stepped back again, sitting back down on your bed. “Pair it with the black jeans. Don’t take a jacket. If you get cold, he should give it to you.”

“But what if he’s not wearing one?”

A fair point, but... “He will,” Seungkwan said. If he’s serious about wooing you, he’ll wear one just so he can give it to you.

Seungkwan, at that moment, thought that he loved you. And he loved you enough that he would let you go happily, your happiness becoming most important to him. Even if that decision choked him up, he would do it to see that happy smile on your face any day.

(You called him when you got home the night-of, saying that Yuchan did give you his jacket and that he almost kissed you when he walked you to your door. Seungkwan merely said he was happy for you, ignoring the ache in his chest as he curled up tight in his bed.)

Love, Seungkwan decided, was complicated.

Seungkwan, age nineteen, felt... complicated about a lot now.

You ended up dating Yuchan for two years, only for things to change as life became more hectic. School got harder, Yuchan became more dedicated to soccer and getting a scholarship with it, you busied yourself with trying to get into a good school. So was Seungkwan, actually. Weirdly enough, he didn’t realize how intertwined that process would be for the two of you. He wanted to do something with law school in the future (there was a reason he was on the debate team and good at it, and it was only partially because of his stubbornness), and you were either going pre-med for a career in nursing or maybe paleontology instead. You hadn’t decided yet, but as long as the school had a strong STEM program, you would be happy.

(Seungkwan joked that he should have known: those were two of your interests when you met. Dinosaurs and patching up your best friend who had his clumsy moments same as anyone else.)

And so the two of you ended up in the same school by happenstance. Seungkwan was one of the youngest in his year (the fact that you were a little older than him was always something you used to tease him), and on move-in day he was staring at his roommate, one Kim Mingyu. He was pretty damn chatty, which was okay, and he usually invited over the other two guys who live in their same suite. Seokmin was pretty nice, too, and he usually kept Seungkwan in conversations whenever he started to feel a little out of place. Minghao, a foreign student who came to study here because of the solid journalism program, was quieter--but that wasn’t a problem in the slightest.

What WAS a problem was the way you told Seungkwan that you had someone you wanted to introduce him to a few months into the school year. And when you showed up to the coffee shop the two of you had found within the first week, you were holding the hand of this stupidly hot dude who looked like a dick because he had his headphones hanging around his neck and wearing a beanie when it was definitely not cold enough for a beanie.

(Seungkwan, truthfully, was looking for reasons to hate him. But then you smiled at the guy after the two of you ordered, squeezed his hand, and guided him over to where Seungkwan was sitting, and he felt... guilty for doing so. Stupid hot boyfriend who makes you happy...)

“This is my best friend, Seungkwan,” you said to him, and Seungkwan took pride in the fact you introduced him first. “Seungkwan,” you smiled at him brightly, “this is Vernon! He’s technically an early graduate--something about his homeschooling program, he can tell you the details--but he’s in our year.”

Vernon gave him a polite smile and “sup,” before going on to say that he’d heard a lot about Seungkwan, actually. Another little thing for Seungkwan to take pride in. “They were telling me about how the two of you go way back. That’s actually why we haven’t met until now.”

Seungkwan looked at you in confusion. He knew that you’d started seeing someone a few weeks ago, but... You purposefully didn’t tell him who? Or anything about the guy?

“You’ve known me since we were four,” you said with a pout. “You would have told him so many stories about me. You did the same thing with that girl in high school!”

He did... For the exact same reason. While you did know the girl already, you had agreed to stay back until Seungkwan was ready to formally introduce you to her. That relationship didn’t last long to be fair, but he was terrified of all the blackmail you had over him. You, like him, had pictures, too.

“Plus... I dunno, I wanted to figure out where we stood,” you looked at Vernon with this soft smile on your face. Seungkwan thought he could see the love in your eyes, too.

Seungkwan cleared his throat. “I’m still going to tell him stories. He should know these things about you,” he said, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “like your emo phase in middle school--”

Immediately, you whined. “Nooo! I know you have pictures!”

“And I’ll use them.”

Vernon, to Seungkwan’s surprise because of the cool-guy aura he seemed to carry, actually chuckled in response. “I think we’ve all got embarrassing stuff. It’s fine,” he said, and then spoke quieter to you, “It’s cute.”

And that ended up shutting you up with this really cute smile that Seungkwan had always found cute. “Anyway...” You turned back to Seungkwan with this look of concern for a moment. Yet the second you went to open your mouth, your name ended up being called out by the barista, leading you to quickly excuse yourself.

Seungkwan knew you’d take a few minutes to get your coffee to where you liked it. So he turned to Vernon right as the guy was about to strike up polite conversation, “I’m still their best friend, just so you know.”

Immediately, Vernon gave him this weird look, brows drawing together. “Sorry... What?”

“Just because we haven’t met until now doesn’t mean they like you more than me,” he said, crossing his arms. I come first, he wanted to say. I’ve known them since we were four. Remember that.

“Woah, dude, I didn’t say anything--” He paused for a moment, glancing over to where you were fiddling with sugar packets. “They’re cute. They’ve been talking about you a lot lately. If you’re upset they didn’t introduce me sooner, it’s just because they were worried you're gonna hate me.”

... You cared about his opinion that much? Seungkwan mentally smacked himself--of course you did. The two of you valued each other like that. “Oh.”

“Nah, man, I’m not gonna step on your friendship or anything,” Vernon leaned back in his chair. “I know you two are close. But they’re still my date, though....” Vernon was... way chiller than Seungkwan thought he’d be. He was sure most guys would have been offended. “But if you wanna be friends, I’m down. You seem cool. They said you sing?”

Seungkwan’s face was burning from embarrassment now, especially for trying to be petty and establish some stupid sense of dominance over him. “Yeah,” he said, feeling so small now. “I love singing.”

Vernon smiled a little, nodding along, “I’ve got a friend who’s been trying to get me to go to karaoke. Maybe all four of us could go sometime?”

... Admittedly, it was almost cute how Vernon just kind-of configured you into these plans. Probably because he knew that you, too, loved karaoke. You and Seungkwan had spent way too many hours growing up lying about doing homework when you were actually at a noraebang.

“I’d like that, actually.”

When you finally came back, it was to Vernon bringing up movies that he loved and Seungkwan engaging him in that conversation happily. And he could see the way you smiled at the way they were getting along. He got along with Yuchan just fine: so he could get along with Vernon, too. Besides... Vernon actually seemed pretty cool. Maybe in another life, they would already be best friends.

Seungkwan parted ways from the two of you as you said you’d be walking Vernon back to his dorm (meaning that you’d likely call Seungkwan later to talk), and he found himself hurrying back to his own. Mingyu was sitting at his desk, studying his notes from class with earbuds in, giving Seungkwan a welcome reprieve from being social for a few minutes. He found his own homework, breaking into a history textbook to start working there for the next few hours.

Later that night, you had called him while he was studying. Seungkwan could see you standing outside when he picked up, watching the way you happily waved one arm wildly at him to get him to come down. So he pocketed his keys, slipped into his shoes, and called back to Mingyu that he’d be back in a few minutes. He expected you to maybe tease him over the stupid shit he pulled with Vernon (he felt like Vernon would have let it slip, even though he didn’t seem offended), but instead you hugged him tight.

“I hope you know I love you a lot,” you said, “and I’ve wanted you to meet him since we started dating, but...”

Those bitter feelings slipped through Seungkwan’s fingers, melting away as he hugged you back. “You were scared he’d find something to dislike about you,” he sighed. “It’s okay. I like him.”

You stepped back, smiling brightly. “Really?”

“He’s nice. He obviously likes you,” he said with a shrug. “So he passes my test. But if he ever hurts you, I’ll fight him.”

You knew he would. It wasn’t the first time Seungkwan had said it, after all. “Just don’t steal him from me, Kwannie,” you patted him on the chest. “I almost thought I was your third wheel for a minute, y’know.”

... So maybe Seungkwan did get along great with Vernon. More than he really liked to admit. Fuck, Vernon was kind of perfect, wasn’t he? He was respectful toward him even after he tried to be all “myeh myeh I’m their best friend so you come second” like a child, and he fully understood that both of them were important people in your life...

“Thank you for not embarrassing me, y’know,” you said. “I mean, you still have videos from the time we tried to go rollerskating...”

(To be fair: so did you. Both of you quit because you were bad at it and got tired of falling, and spent the rest of your time in the arcade portion instead, being bad at games together.)

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Seungkwan said. “Not this soon, at least. Maybe if he sticks around...”

It earned a laugh from you. That was how your relationship with Yuchan had been, too: there was a point where neither of you thought the embarrassing stuff would mess with your relationship too much. “I know,” you said. “I guess I just got in my own head. I really like him, y’know?”

He could tell. You looked at him the way Seungkwan was sure he looked at you--even though you never noticed. He bantered with you a little more, saying that Vernon would regret inviting both of you to karaoke when those plans came around, and made his way back inside. With a sigh, he flopped onto his bed, the noise enough to drag Mingyu out of his studies.

He chuckled. “I think it’s a little obvious how you feel.”

Seungkwan grasped, immediately reaching for the nearest soft thing to lob at him. And... It was that pastel blue dino plushie that he’d had since he was five. He used to hide it until Mingyu found it by accident while Seungkwan had been gathering his laundry. When he said it was a gift from you, Mingyu understood and said it was sweet how he held onto it so long. Which meant that Seungkwan would sometimes leave that dino plushie out when the others weren’t around. It comforted him to see it whenever he was getting stressed. Other times, the little guy lived in the top of his closet for safekeeping. Hell, Seungkwan had accidentally ripped the little guy’s leg and Mingyu had been the one who patched it up.

At no response from Seungkwan, Mingyu finally turned around, only to see Seungkwan staring at the dino plushie in his hands. “Why don’t you just tell them how you feel?”

“They’re dating some guy named Vernon now.” He ran his thumb along the stitching on the side. “I don’t think they love me back.”

Mingyu frowned, looking up to the clock on the wall, and then back to Seungkwan. “It’s not too late. Let’s go out,” he hopped up, shutting his books. “I’ll see if Seokmin and Hao are free, too.”

Seungkwan could feel that familiar ache in his chest--the same one he felt when you called him, giddy about your date with Yuchan--but softer than it had been before. You were happy. What more could he want?

This, too, was love. As long as you were happy, he could move on.

(And maybe he’ll like the girl Mingyu later offered to set him up with, swearing that he’d love her...)

Seungkwan was twenty-two when he had another major fight with you.

The first time the two of you fought, you’d been kids. He barely remembered what it was about, but it resulted in him not talking to you for a week (which was like a thousand years in little-kid time) until you finally showed up to his door. You sobbed and said you missed him so bad, and apologized a thousand times until he started crying because he missed you, too. The second time had been in middle school over something stupid and immature, and he remembered that the two of you fought bad enough that you stormed off until he bribed you to talk to him again via ice cream and a serious conversation (thank you to his mom, actually: she was the one who talked sense into him first). The third was in high school because you had hated his girlfriend at the time. He hadn’t let you speak, and told you to get out of his house, only to come back together again later that night--halfway between your houses. The two of you apologized to one another: him because he heard from a few hours later that you had fought with his girlfriend in the halls for talking horribly about him behind his back, and you because you should have told him the truth right away.

And now... Things were different. The two of you now lived together in a crummy apartment that felt too small for the two of you. You were studying to become a nurse after you graduated, and Seungkwan was following his plans to set himself up for law school. He’d managed to luck out with getting an internship at this law firm in the city before he was even in law school, Yoon & Hong Law Group. The two of you had gone out to celebrate with Vernon and Chan back when he got the call. When he went in for his first day, Jeonghan had told him it was because of his application that they let him in. They liked his drive, and they remembered being in his position not too long ago. He and Joshua weren’t the original Yoon and Hong (that was his dad and Joshua’s mom, who still headed the firm), but they’d take over the firm one day and they hoped that Seungkwan would still be part of that future. Where Seungkwan had been accepted, you were still waiting on replies from nursing schools.

While you and Vernon had only dated for about a year before that spark fizzled away (which was something Seungkwan couldn’t wrap his head around: how did it take a year for that to happen? Then again, a year stopped feeling so long after you became an adult...), the two of you were still friends. Somewhere along the way, Seungkwan started to consider Vernon as one of his closest friends, too--not number one, because that would always be you, but still pretty damn up there.

He remembered when the two of you broke up. He knew that both of you were talking about things seriously, because you loved each other, just not enough. Vernon had apparently asked if that meant you wanted to break up. You had said you still loved him, he said he still loved you, and then you both had to really examine whether you two loved each other romantically or just as close friends. Although it took a break to cope with your own feelings after mutually agreeing you’d be better off as friends, Seungkwan was glad that the two of you came back together... even if he still remembered the way you broke down crying when you came home to him that day. You’d sobbed into his shoulder that you still loved him, but you couldn’t love Vernon the way he deserved to be loved.

And Seungkwan, ever the dutiful best friend, held you through that storm until it had calmed. Then it was time for him to take care of you: to order dinner and put on movies and forget about your assignments together for a few hours. He’d even gone out to get the dessert you liked, only splitting it evenly with you when you firmly insisted. You’d rested your head on his shoulder and told him that the feeling sucked. He understood. He just let you cuddle him as much as you needed to.

Vernon later called him to ask how you were doing. When Seungkwan, having stepped onto the balcony to take the call, looked back at your sleeping back, he felt relieved. Vernon had been honest with him: the two of you needed time to get over the breakup. Seungkwan confessed he didn’t want to lose either of you as friends, and neither did Vernon. Neither did you. A few months later, things were getting back to normal again. You and Vernon had physically been close, but that was because you were always like Seungkwan: physically affectionate with any and every person you cared about. It was a little awkward in the beginning, sure, but Vernon happily returned your hugs soon enough and everything became normal.

Seungkwan, on the other hand, had also dated a few people. The girl that Mingyu set him up with didn’t last long. The others... were also short-lived relationships. The longest one he had over the past few years lasted almost half a year, but he’d ended it after having enough of feeling like garbage. It hadn't been toxic or abusive, but the initially playful jabs at his chubby cheeks or his body toward the end of the relationship had been enough for him. He valued himself too highly to put up with that bullshit.

Also, you’d been getting pissed: the last time they said that shit to him, you finally snapped (admittedly while drunk) that your Boo was cute and his ass was great and that they could fuck off if they weren’t going to appreciate him for who he was. They had gotten offended, and Seungkwan gladly chose you over them... even if the comment about his ass finally hit him hours later after he’d helped you to bed, and it stuck with him to this day

To be honest, Seungkwan thought his feelings for you would have gone away by now. The two of you had known each other for almost two decades. He knew he’d always love you... but like this? Where he looked at you and sometimes daydreamed of what could be if he’d stop playing a coward and told you how he felt? It was different. As much as Seungkwan wanted to tell you, he wasn’t going to jeopardize his friendship for it. Things were good.

... Until he went and opened his stupid fucking mouth and told you that he hated your boyfriend. He said outright that your boyfriend was a shit person who didn’t deserve you. He saw the way he spoke about you, the vulgar way he acted, and the way you’d swatted his hands away too many damn times because you didn’t want to be touched that way in that moment. This last time, Seungkwan had snapped at him for trying to bother you in your own home. You didn’t stand up to either of them, and your boyfriend left the apartment pissed off, which in turn made you pissed at Seungkwan.

“I just don’t see why you can’t be fucking nice to him!” You had snapped, fists balled tight at your sides. “You liked Yuchan,you liked Vernon--what’s so different about Donghae?! Why can’t you just be happy for me?!”

That had struck a nerve. “I am happy for you!” He snapped. “I’ve always been happy for you! But Donghae doesn’t respect you, and I’m not going to stand here when you deserve better!”

“If it bothered me, I’d tell him to stop--”

“You have! I’ve seen you tell him to stop--but he doesn’t respect you, so he doesn’t listen! You shouldn’t date some idiot who doesn’t respect you--”

Things had grown louder from there until you finally had enough. You were pissed off, and you barked back something about needing space before stomping out of the apartment. That had been a little over half an hour ago, and with a messy apron folded beside him, he was sitting on the couch, replaying the conversation over and over. He called Vernon, who came over with Chan, within the next fifteen minutes.

“Ah. Dude, you kinda fucked up,” was what Vernon said once he heard the full story.

“I dunno,” Chan frowned from his spot in the cozy armchair that you had picked out so long ago for the apartment. Most of the time Chan and Seungkwan would bicker over the smallest thing, but it was clear how much he cared about him from how serious he took things like this. “Donghae is an asshole. I’m just surprised he didn’t say it sooner.”

“I’m not saying he shouldn’t have said it, I’m just saying he shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Seungkwan was sitting on the couch. There was a cake, hastily made from a box mix, cooling in the freezer to get it done faster. I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer about your dick boyfriend probably wouldn’t fit on a cake. His phone rang, and it was his mom (the only time he’d ever be disappointed to hear from her, Seungkwan was certain). He excused himself to step out on the balcony, embracing the cold air to clear his head as he picked up. It started with her asking how he was doing, and he ended up crying before confessing he had another big fight with you. The first one in years, since the two of you didn’t fight often. Tiny arguments, sure, but that was different. He hadn’t heard from you in maybe an hour now, and he was worried.

His mom listened to his concerns, and told him what his friends had told him: that his heart was in the right place (especially since Seungkwan told her that he thought you weren’t being treated well), but that he just needed to communicate it better. Calling your boyfriend an asshole to his face was probably the worst way to go about it.

“It’s just complicated,” Seungkwan confessed, wiping hard at his face.

“Love always is,” was what his mom said. “You’ll learn that when you grow up.”

He let out a sigh before pouting. “I’m already grown up...”

His mother’s warm chuckle calmed him further. “You’ll understand that later, too. You should make sure that they’re safe.”

So Seungkwan did: he texted you to ask if you were. You didn’t respond, not that he expected you to reply immediately. You needed time to cool off. He followed up the text to tell you that if he didn’t hear from you within the next two hours, he was going to go out looking, and then pocketed his phone.

He had a cake to ice, after all, even if it might end up looking bad. Vernon and Chan had followed him into the kitchen where he frosted the cooled cake with white icing, mixing up pink and preparing a piping bag.

Chan had been the one to question it: “So... What’s the cake for?”

“Apology cake,” Vernon whispered. “For not saying stuff right. He’s done it once before.”

(It had been over an hour since you were gone. Seungkwan was going to finish this damn cake to distract himself.)

He’d managed to get a decent-ish looking border done, starting on the words when he heard the chime of the door. All he had done was an I’m So when he heard your footsteps, far lighter than the last time he’d heard them.

“Oh. Hey.”

“You good?” Vernon asked.

He could hear the rustle of a plastic bag in your hands. “Mmm... Maybe. I dunno.”

Seungkwan said nothing as he finished Sorry on the cake. That would do for now.

“Seungkwan?” He could hear you growing closer to him. “Um...” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you look to Vernon and Chan. “God... They probably already know, so I’ll just say it. I’m sorry.”

He looked up. “Huh?”

“I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” The bag in your hand rustled further in your grip. “I mean... You were right. He was a dick, and... I dunno, I left, and then he called me, and he kept saying all this stupid shit about how you never respected me, and... I just told him I was done.”

Seungkwan stared at you. “You broke up with him?”

“I mean... I probably should have when he stopped listening to me, but--” Then you looked at the cake. “Seungkwan, what are you--”

He stepped aside, letting you see the writing. “I’m sorry I got angry,” he said. “And I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I think... We both got upset really fast.”

Which was true. Both of you had been stressed lately with everything else going on. That didn’t help with what happened today.

“Oh my god.”

“I know it looks bad--”

You shook your head, opening the bag to pull out a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. “I got you apology ice cream,” you had lightly laughed, only to remember the other two in the room with you. “Ah, fuck--I should have known you would have called them over... I should have bought more--”

“We still have vanilla,” Seungkwan said, “They’ll be fine.”

And despite their playful complaints, both were fine with that when you brought out the carton from the freezer. The four of you had your cake and your ice cream as a nice little indulgence after a stressful night. Seungkwan sent them off with the extra cake because neither of you wanted it. He quietly cleaned up, bringing the other dishes over to where you’d started to quietly clean them in the sink.

“I really mean it,” Seungkwan said. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’m sorry.”

You frowned at him. “Seungkwan...” You reached past him, grabbing the dish towel to dry your hands on. Then you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him tight. “I know. We’re better friends than this, though... I shouldn’t have assumed you were being a dick when you’ve always been looking out for me. I mean... You care about me more than a lot of people, y’know?”

“You do the same,” he said, hugging you back. He always liked the way you felt so warm in his arms. Like everything would be okay if he just had you there. “I know I’m loved... But I don’t doubt it or get in my head when it’s you.”

It felt like a confession. You pulled away from him after a moment, hands now lingering on his upper arm as you stared at him for a moment. He almost saw something on your face, but you turned away before he could try to figure out what it was. You went back to doing the dishes, and Seungkwan wordlessly stepped in to help you with them.

Seungkwan thought to himself, in that moment, that he was doomed to always love you no matter who he saw. That the person he was looking for in every single person would always be you. But... if it meant the two of you stayed connected so deeply like this, even when you were angry at one another, then he would be okay with it.

Even when you fought, he would always love you. Maybe that, too, was part of love, as complicated as it was to admit that.

Seungkwan was twenty-four when things were... beyond stressful. Between law school being hard and nursing school draining you most days, Seungkwan felt like he barely saw you despite living together. If nothing else, he barely saw you happy most days. Neither of you really went out with anyone unless they were friends, careers taking priority over any kind of romantic relationship. But that was okay: the two of you had talked about that kind of thing over a rare dinner together. You didn’t want to bring anyone new into your life when everything was so busy, and he was too stressed to really let go with someone that wasn’t already close to him. The two of you were working hard, and all you could really do was support the other through it all. Sometimes it took the form of movie nights when he came disgruntled and unable to read another word of his text book or old cases, and he liked to think he was better at giving massages after long hours of you being in the hospital for things. God knew you should see a professional, but you were trying to save up and keep money in your account for rent and food and other necessities right now. When you were an actual nurse, maybe then you’d start occasionally seeing a professional.

It also came with the two of you venting to one another. He’d heard about the people that you worked with. About Dr. Choi, who was strict but seemed to have a soft spot for you because you brought him a latte once when he looked particularly exhausted. Seungkwan actually met another nurse you worked with--Jeon Wonwoo--when he went up to the hospital one night because you forgot your umbrella... Only for Wonwoo to have been leaving at the same time, offering both of you a ride back to your apartment. Seungkwan, despite knowing just how stressed your job made you, liked how happy you were with it. He thought it was definitely good for you, and you always loved to talk about how you were helping people--even as a student. There were shitty patients who disrespected you (and your fellow medical professionals), but your drive was in your desire to make other people happier.

It was Saturday now, a rare day where you came home hours ago from working. He’d moved his headphones off when you came in, only for you to wave him off saying that you’d talk after you got a little rest. He readjusted them, and went back to studying hard. He was tired, though, and he could feel his eyelids growing heavier. He had research he had to do earlier, and now he was catching up in reading for one of his classes... Two years and he still wasn’t done, but at least he wasn’t in it alone. He had you.

His headphones must have gotten knocked askew when he fell asleep over his books, because the knock at the door had been enough to wake him up. He pulled his headphones off, getting up to stretch on his walk over. He opened the door, only to find a package waiting outside that was addressed to you. Seungkwan brought it inside, making a mental note to refill his water bottle in a minute, about to call out for you when you rushed in.

“Don’t open it!”

He wasn’t going to, but he nearly dropped the damn thing at how loud you suddenly were. You took the box from him quickly, hugging it tight to you with one arm as you fished around in a drawer for the box cutter. Seungkwan realized that he had apparently blocked everything you’d been doing out for the past hour (or maybe he was just that deeply asleep for a bit), because there were suddenly way more blankets in there than the two of you usually kept... and you had stolen one of the chairs from the dining table, pushed the coffee table forward...

“What are you doing?”

You’d already sat down on the floor, opening up the box. He hadn’t seen you this lively since that late night study group around midterms, and that was because of all the caffeine in your system. You’d been beyond burnt out since then, working on countless assignments and going to work. Today had just been a rare Saturday where both of you were home, just giving you time to study and rest before next week kicked your asses once more.

“Can you bring the batteries?” You called out over your shoulder. “Triple-A. I need four.”

That didn’t answer his question, but Seungkwan did as you asked. Before he could see what was in the box, you stopped him, hand extended for the batteries.

“Go back to studying,” you ordered. “I’ll get you when everything’s ready.”

He didn’t move. He just furrowed his brow in confusion, wanting to question you further, only for you to huff in aggravation.

“Just trust me. Tonight’s... special.”

Seungkwan did as you said, including moving his chair to where his back was to you entirely. He could hear you moving around the apartment behind him, eventually answering the door again to get takeout (and immediately his stomach rumbled when he caught the scent of fried chicken from his favorite place). He almost asked if he was forgetting something important, but you just held up a hand.

“I’m almost done,” you told him with this cute smile on your face that was enough to make him agree to wait. “Okay? I’m almost done.”

It was cute how excited you were. It almost worried him, to be honest... It wasn’t his birthday. It wasn’t yours. Was he forgetting something big? Sure, it had almost been twenty years since the two of you became friends, but that friend-iversary wasn’t for another few weeks. The two of you already had plans for it, too: you were going to go to an amusement park and just pretend you didn’t have a thousand other things going on for a day.

When you finally came back to him, you had carefully pushed his assignment into the page he was reading before shutting his book for him. He couldn’t say no to you when he saw how happy you were. It was fine, too: technically he was a little ahead in his classes. He just wanted to give himself the best chances to succeed.

“Close your eyes.”

And he did, letting you slowly guide him from his chair. He couldn’t fight the smile on his face as your hands took his. With each slow step, he couldn’t help but wonder what you had in mind. At one point, you stopped, gently stepping around him to push him down onto his knees and then back--instructing him to just sit there for a moment.

“I just need a minute... So keep your eyes closed, okay? It’s a surprise.”

He listened, knees hugged to his chest right now as he listened to you move around the apartment. Something soft--one of those blankets, probably--gently thwacked him in the face at one point before it was immediately pulled away (and he almost giggled at the sound of your quiet swearing under your breath). He could hear the click of something plastic opening, and then the sound of you fumbling with those batteries, more plastic buttons being pressed...

“Okay. You can open your eyes now.”

He did, and the room was illuminated in stars. There was dinner on the table--his favorite dakgangjeong, an order for you, and various sides spread out--and the two of you were now sitting underneath a blanket fort that you must have fixed after you sat him down. You slid a little closer to him, taking his hands in your own.

“What are you--”

“Seungkwan,” you said firmly. “It’s been almost two decades since we became friends... but I remember we did this back when we were eight. And--I dunno. I guess I got sentimental. I know you’ve been stressed lately, too, and... I dunno, I just... It’s stupid, but I wanted to relive the first time I slept over at your house. And then I saw this thing,” you nodded toward the projector, “when I was browsing through random shit online, and then I got this stupid idea, and I thought it might just be a sign to go through with it...”

Seungkwan had never wanted to kiss you more than he did at that moment. Instead, he just choked up, tears brimming because of... all of it. All that was missing was the silly little drawing of the two of you and your families and your weird cat-dog-thing. But the dinner, the stars, the blanket fort...

“I love you.”

The words were out before he could even process it, and he realized what he just said. He grew more embarrassed, about to take them back. To say that he didn’t mean it like that, to try and save your friendship before he could destroy it with feelings that he thought were only one sided.

But he didn’t. He could see the way you looked at him. The way your eyes flickered down to his lips for a moment. Like magnetism, you drifted forward, about to kiss him when your forehead bumped against his again.

And he laughed. “Here,” he said. “Stay still.”

Seungkwan gently held your face so that he could angle his own, kissing you gently.

Seungkwan, at twenty-four, knew that he loved you. With every single beat of his heart, he loved you. You kissed him back, and he finally saw that you, at some point along the way, fell for him, too. The two of you weren’t two four year olds on the way home from school, where you took care of him and made sure he was okay. You weren’t eight year olds under a blanket fort, dreaming of living under the same roof with everyone you held dear to you, or fifteen year olds having their first kiss together because they were both too scared to have it with someone else because of the silly notion that they should know how to kiss before they did it. He was twenty four, and after a lifetime of questioning it, he thought he finally understood what love was.

You pulled away after a moment, eyes twinkling. He preferred the stars in them to the stars from that silly lamp. “I love you, too.”

And then you kissed him again, and everything felt right.

Love, he had learned, was a lot of things. The act of being happy with another person, of seeing their joy and treasuring it close to your heart. Of wanting them to be happy no matter what. To enjoy being around a person, and to yearn for their presence when they were gone for too long. Love was a feeling.

The act of accepting differences for what they are, of fighting but coming together because you cared about each other more. To put aside oneself in order to let someone find their happiness elsewhere. To surprise the other with something that might seem silly to other people, but meant the world to you. Love was an action, too.

But love? Love, he decided at that moment, is you.

And it was him, too.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan fluff #boo seungkwan fluff #seungkwan x you #boo seungkwan x reader #boo seungkwan x you

592 notes · View notes

iloveaustinelvisandmannymore · 11 months

Text

Guilty Love three

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Chubby reader

Warning: Miscarriage, Grieving, Insecurity, Love Confessions, Doubt, Unplanned Pregnancy, Ausgt, Fluff, Weird cravings, Mention of sex, crying.

Summary: Loving Toji Fushiguro wasn't easy, especially if you weren't supposed to. You're just the babysitter and a side piece to him, your guilt finally reached its peak when Toji and his girl decided to upgrade their relationship. So with a heavy heart, you left but it seemed you couldn't escape Toji just like that.

A/n: Soo, that took so long, again sorry for the wait. The first draft was shit in my opinion and I feel this is much better. This is the last of this series but I might do little drabbles of this if I feel like it or if someone asks if I open requests for Toji. Anyway on to the story and please tell me what you think about it. Part 1, Part 2

Time seemed to disappear as you stared at the puddle of blood and the deafening sound of a scream was a far noise. You slide down to your knees tears blurring your vision as your hands try to wipe the blood away but it only proves to smear across the floor. Toji's arms that pulled you into their comfort felt distant, everything felt cold and far, you could barely feel the sobs that jerked your body, or the itch of dried blood on your hands nor hear doctors talk to you. You already knew.

The baby that brought you such love and joy had passed on from this world, leaving Toji here, leaving Megumi here, leaving you...you here.

You can't remember how you got back home, your surroundings had rushed past while you stayed motionless. The bed was the only comfort that reached past the barrier that nothing seemed to get passed, your fists clenched sheets as you stared blankly out the window to the lively city of Tokyo, Days went by colorless. The food in front of you was unappetizing and Instead of eating you simply picked at and moved the meal around ignoring the concerned faces of your boyfriend and his son. You couldn't escape the thoughts of what you did wrong, it was your fault if..if you had been more careful maybe the baby wouldn't have left you behind, part of you wanted to blame Toji for getting you pregnant in the first place you just couldn't...he was suffering just as you were, the tight hold the nights you both laid awoke, nights were he whispered things were gonna be okay as you sob about what could have been, his emeralds glazed over yet tears never fall.

It was another timeless day, you sat on the white couch, watching as the world continued to move on without you through the large window walls of the penthouse, pretending not to hear the conversation between Toji and Asmai about you. You didn't move when you heard the pitter-patter of small feet and voices stop talking "Mommy?" the tears you fought so hard to stop, came rushing out as you hiccuped a sob and opened your arms which Megumi Immediately jumped into, holding onto you tight "My son." you cried "Oh, my beautiful son." the whole time you were grieving you forget the child that became like yours "Mommy's so sorry." you laid your cheek on his head and rubbed his back as his tear drops stained your shirt. Toji sat down and pulled you both into his embrace, you looked up at him with a tearful smile and he simply laid his forehead on yours. The pain of losing your unborn baby will always be there but you have something to live for, you had Megumi and Toji, and they need you to continue, for yourself and them.

It was going to be okay.

Things were beginning to go back to the way things were before, of course, you still think about the tragedy but day by day it got better. Asami was able to convince you to go to the mall with her on a girl's trip, her words. You smiled shyly as you siped from your drink, watching the large smile on Asami's face as she rambled on about how happy and excited she was that you both were spending time together again, her brown hair bounced as she walked and her equally brown eyes sparkled. "Look!" she pointed to an all-sized clothing store with your enjoined hands "Come on!" she laughed as she dragged you to the store "Okay!Okay!" you giggled, somewhat surprised by her strength "It's on me, you deserve it." she let go of your hand and gently pushed you to the plus-sized section before leaving to look around herself not at least waving bye to you which you couldn't help smiling at.

She was like a ball of sunshine. You browsed down the section of nightwear, none quite catching your eye, you were about to move on when a lingerie piece piqued your interest. It was emerald green, the bra was silk with lace overcoating, a see-through fabric split from the middle of the bra and cascading down to where your ankles would be was paired with a g-string. The gown gave off a regal-like look, it would look fetching on the curves of your soft, thick, robust body and you could only imagine Toji's reaction. You bite your lip as your cheeks heat up, images of him practically ripping off the garment and picking you up from your ass as he bit your neck before throwing you down onto your shared bed with such impatience that it would match a voracious wolf and waiting no longer to slide into your soaked core, to pound you in feverish want. "If you think Toji would like you in that, you must be delusional." a voice you wished not to hear ever again snickered "Hello Himari." you flatly greeted putting the lingerie over your arm and continuing to look through the nightwear "I feel sorry for you," she spoke up, her words made you pause "I bet he wasn't even tell you he loves you, huh?" Himari smirked as she watched your expression shift "Leave me alone." you uttered putting away the garment and walking past Himari only to be stopped by her hard hold "Let go!" you tried to yank your arm away from her but it did little good "N-" Himari started but was cut off from suddenly being pushed back and almost tripping over her feet "You heard her." the sound of your best friend's cold voice gave you a sense of relief, the same couldn't be said for himari as she stared at Asmai with fearful eyes "W-who do you think you are?!" Asmai didn't reply and just took a threatening step toward Himari causing the latter to rush away "You okay?" Asmai took your hands and tried to meet your eyes.

"Yeah..just wanna go.." you muttered, craving to be in the penthouse you called home, "Okay, here's the key," Asmai took her car keys out of her bag and put them in your hand "I need to get something okay?" she gently pushed you to the door of the store and when you were out of sight grabbed the lingerie you left behind and bought it before leaving the store.

The ride home was silent, thoughts of doubt bundled up in your mind.

Did Toji love you? Was he lying when he said he was falling for you? He had someone like Himari why love you? You sighed as you laid your head against the window of the passenger side, you need to stop thinking so hard, or you're going to get a headache. You said goodbye to Asmai and made your way to your floor, you spent the rest of the day on autopilot, barely talking to Toji and you knew he had enough when he pined you to the wall of your shared bedroom after you tucked Megumi into bed, his jade orbs were hard and peered down on you, a sexy sneer rested on his lips, and his beautiful muscular biceps were on each side of your head "What the fuck is the problem huh? Why are ya ignorin' me?" he growled, his glare made it almost impossible to speak yet you were able to find your voice "Do you love me.?" you briefly looked at him then at the floor "What kind of question is that?" He asked, his hand taking hold of your jaw and forcing you to meet his eyes "Of course I love you." he specified, kissing you softly unlike he had ever done before, his light kisses turned more passionate, and clothes soon abandoned. The night was spent with filthy sweet nothings, love-driven kisses, and tears of what could've been.

The mouths that passed were filled with happiness, Toji had taken you on your first date since you started to officially see each other if you don't count the years that you were his babysitter with benefits. The romantic-themed restaurant was rented out for the both of you, a perk from dating one of the CEOs of the most successful business, lit candles, rose petals, and your favorite Flower petals were scattered around the table, and soft music played. It was perfect. You barely finished desert when Toji had stood up before dropping to his knee beside your chair and opening a royal purple box with a gorgeous diamond and rose gold ring sitting in between the velvet cushions. You never said "yes" faster.

The next months you spent planning the wedding, there was no limit and today you were gonna go cake tasting with Asmai, Toji, and you. Toji would arrive later but he didn't want you to be alone so you got her to come with. The morning was bright and beautiful, the sunlight shined on the otherwise dark room, bed still warm despite Toji having already gone to work and taken Megumi to school, and the tile of the bathroom floor was cold against your bare feet, brief memories of the tragedy attempted to resurface, to threaten your happiness yet that happiness prevailed. You arrive at the bakery at the set time after choosing one of your best outfits, the bakery is warm and welcoming, with pastel-colored items surrounding the establishment and the smell of all kinds of delightful sweets, plain white walls contract from the pink pastel chair and tables.

Asami made it five minutes later and you both started tasting the different flavors. You were on the fifth slice of cake when the urge to puke made itself known, "Excuse me. Where is the restroom?" you spoke behind your hand, once the store owner gave you the directions you made haste to the bathroom and barely made it to one of the toilet before you vomited. Your breakfast, dinner, and cakes were empty from your stomach, you got up with a grimace and walked over to the sink.

Bending down you let the water from the tab fill your mouth then spit out the water, the strong taste of puke going with it only leaving a bitter aftertaste that could be washed from something sweet. You hung your head before looking up at the sound of the door "You okay babydoll?" your fiancé's eyebrows frowned as he leaned against the wall, his biceps bulging out of his white dress shirt while he did so. Even the look of concern charmed him "I'm fine." you smiled weakly, this was the second morning you threw up, and you wondered if you were...could you simply be pregnant or was this just a stomach flu? You didn't know and that bothered you, you had to ask Asmai for help, you just can't get Toij's hopes up if you weren't.

The cake-flavoring-tasting was smooth sailing after that and it theme color-picking next. You pull Asmai aside and take a deep breath before asking "Hey..could you umm..go get me some pregnancy tests?" Asmai's brown eyes went wide "Do you think.." her soft voice trailed off as you nodded "Okay, im on it. Just go have fun. I'll text you later" She smiled and gently pushed you where Toji was waiting Impatiently.

You went through the day without throwing up again and when you got home Asami texted that she got the tests and she'd meet you tomorrow.

You sighed, moving to lay on your back looking up at the ceiling and gently stroking Toji's arm that wrapped itself around your rotund belly, your wondering mind kept you up. What would Toji think? Would he be happy? Does he blame you? You must have been moving too much that it woke Toji "I can hear you thinking" Toji mumbled, green eyes barely peering through those lavishly beautiful eyelashes yet they shined"I can't sleep. I'm..." Should I tell him? "worried about some things" You muttered back for a while Toji didn't speak you thought he simply fell back to sleep "Don't. Whatever ya worrin' bout I'll be there beside ya." his deep voice, rasped from the heavy sleep he was in.

You smiled at his words, that's the best Toji comfort he could give.

With his comforting words, you eventually fall asleep as you run your fingers through Toji's hair, relaxing him enough to fall back to sleep. When you wake the next morning, Toji is gone and so is Megumi. Getting up you headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast and texted Asami to head over when she had the time, but she didn't reply. Once you had finished your breakfast the bell rang. You tried to open the door but a wave of intense nausea hit you all at once and you hurried to the bathroom, you groaned as you held your hair back and puked into the toilet. a knock on the bathroom caught your attention "Come in." you moaned. Asami's worried face came from behind the door, her mouth opened to say something but you held a finger up as another strong wave of nausea crashed into you causing you to vomit again. "Damn, you alright?" "Yeah." you groaned and took Asami's hand and she helped you up, you washed your mouth clean. The waiting was borderline torture, you were playing with Asmai's fingers while she was watching TV when the timer went off. You both looked at each other and hurried off the couch, laughing as you raced each other to the bathroom. Reaching the door you calmed down, and a deep anxious shudder raked down your spine, you inhaled and reached for one of the tests.

Positive.

All three had a plus. You were pregnant once again, tears rained down your cheeks a trembling hand covered your lips. The warm embrace of your best friend brought comfort to the complex feels.

Feelings of fear, happiness, love, and anxiety, were like a crushing wave upon wave and you didn't know what to feel.

You let Asami lead you back to the couch as you tried to define what you truly felt. "How are you feeling girl?" she moves some hair out of your face and holds you close to her, you don't say anything for a while "Happy, and a little scared." you smiled at her. You had a second chance and despite the fear you wanted this, you still wanted to have Toji's baby.

You decided that you'd tell Toji and Megumi tonight, at dinner but first, you needed to get some things. Dinner was on you today, you bought a set of eating for two plates, and you picked Megumi up from school, both of you waited for Toji. He didn't come home until seven p.m., by then you finished making dinner. "Daddy!" Megumi shot up from watching something on his tablet and ran up to his father, who picked him up "How are ya and ya mama?" Toji asked his son, a tiny smile on his lips as his son began to rumble on and on about everything. The aroma of home-cooked food led him to a visual he wished to see for the rest of his life. There you were putting food on plates, ready to serve and to eat, the warm touch of love spread throughout his chest, and that tiny smile grew before returning to its previous state. Toji sat Megumi back on the floor sauntered over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder "Hey beautiful." Toji whispered in your ear "Hey handsome." you laughed, patting his arm to let you go which he grudgingly did not without a kiss to your neck before Toji and little Megumi sat down on the dinner table, both Impatiently and excited.

Megumi couldn't sit still, watching your every move with a hunger that was unlike his father's which was a special type of hunger. Just when you sat down you all began to eat, you sneakily stole glances at Toji eating, expectantly waiting for his reaction. Megumi finished and was gonna ask for more except the words on the otherwise white plate "Mommy, daddy?" he inquired, "Yeah?" Toji stopped eating to look at his son "What's "eating for two" mean?" Megumi asked "It means-" Toji responded but forcut himself while the words sank in, His mouth opened then closed unable to reform any words he looked to you. A sly smile sat on your kissed lips "Babydoll, are you?" he hesitated before starting again "Are you pregnant?" you nodded with watery orbs, Toji didn't say anything else, why wasn't he saying anything? Did he not want a baby? You were so into your dread that you failed to notice Toji walking over to you and lifting you into his arms "Toji?" you yelped as you wrapped your legs around his solid build "Thank you, babyboll thank you." he buried his face into your neck "I'm getting a sibling?!" Megumi shouted as he jumped out of his seat "That's right" you laughed happily. This was truly happening this was better than what you imagined.

Toji got a lot more protective after the news, he barely let you go anywhere by yourself, going to the grocery store? No Family trip all while Toji glared at anyone looking at your bigger frame, who always had an arm around you. Yet behind the ridiculous behavior, you knew it stemmed from the fear of losing this baby too, you understand that too well.

Especially when your third mouth came.

During the day you could pretend it didn't affect you but the night was a different tale, nights spent wondering if you'd go through the same pain, "Babydoll you should be asleep." Toji voiced, arriving home from work and changing into his pajamas which consisted of low-cut sweats, no boxers, and no shirt. His sculpted-by-the-gods-body would have made you crazy with the complete desire to be ravished and taken by this beast of a man yet the feeling of fear overcast your hornyness "Can't sleep." you turned your head from the drool-worthy view and placed a hand on your bulging stomach that didn't go unnoticed by your fiance. "You know." he started sitting down on his side of the bed "'m scared too..the worry of losin' this one sits on the back of my mind all the time." he pulled you into his chest "But I look at ya and I see no matter what happens our love is all that matters, we can try for more. Right now through no what ifs. just the now okay." he held your cheek in his hand, his emerald eyes warm with love for you "You're right." you sighed "Damn right I am" he smirked smugly and a mischievous glint in his eyes as he kissed all over your face, pushing you down on the spacious mattress, the feel of his lips and the roughness of the scar pushed you into a giggling fit as Toji showered you with his love. That night you slept peacefully.

The months went on, with agony and happiness, morning sickness had been a mean bitch, yet this time you had Toji and Megumi to help. Oh, and the cravings, never had you woken up your fiancé more than you did now. "Tojiii." you whined, shaking the jacked male from his sleep "What?" Toji grumbled, eyes still closed "I want ice cream." you continued to shake the tired man "Go back to bed." he groaned and turned away from you "Please, we want ice cream." you said placing a hand on your robust baby bump, smiling when he grunted tiredly, knowing you won. You hummed a tune as you watched the night lights of Tokyo pass by, all but ignoring Toji's side glances and his sleepy expression as he drove down the road to a 7/11 since you ate the last tub of ice cream yesterday night. Looking at you Toji can't help but wonder how he got so fucking whipped for you, all you had to do was bat those beautiful lashes with a sweet smile, push your breast, and stomach against his chest and torso and you got anything you wanted. He was spoiling you too damn much but he wasn't gonna stop, seeing the joy in your eyes after watching helplessly as you killed yourself from depression was all he wanted, even if it hurt his pride a little he'd do it over and over for you.

You didn't wait long once he handed you the sack and a spoon to dig into the tub of vanilla & chocolate swirl "You want some?" you asked after swallowing a spoonful of the cold desert "No." he voiced turning the car left "I think you want some." you scooped some ice cream and held it up, Toji made the mistake of glancing at you, and there you were bating those pretty eyelashes. He huffed before opening his mouth to allow you to feed him the cool sweet and you did so with a big grin on your face.

Your hormones were overdriven, like last week, you sat down with Asami and hung out, laughing, telling jokes, and just all around having fun when she said she had something to get you. You siped the streaming tea, eyes closed in pure bliss "Got it." Asami sat down a plastic bag on the coffee table in front of the lavish white couch "What is it?" you looked at her, putting your tea down and grabbing the bag "Just open it." She smiled. You reached into the bag and pulled out the emerald-green lingerie you left that day, your hands shook and tears blurred your vision "Asmai.." you whispered looking at her in wonder "I saw you looking at it and I wasn't gonna let some bitch make my bestie second guess herself." Asmai smirked, laughing a little as you threw your body into hers "Thank you.." you hugged her tightly. Or like the time you were talking about who was more of a badass, John Wick or the Equalizer, with Toji"I mean, yeah John Wick is good but pretty much all he says is "yeah" and he's more for an eye for an eye. But the Equalizer," you started as you placed a fruit salad with pickles on the side on the kitchen island and sat on the chair with Toji's help and took a bit of pickle "He's for the people, righting the wrong and you're telling me john wick is better? The Equalizer analysis everything before he even starts kicking ass." you spoke taking another bite of the pickle "John wick is a legend babydoll. He's a force to be reckoned with. He is literally nicknamed Baba Yaga, that's a badass name than Equalizer. John Wick is better." Toji agreed taking a bit of your watermelon "No. Equalizer is better." you glared at him as you ate a strawberry "Nah." "Yes." "No." "Yes!" "No." you hopped down for the tool chair as carefully as you could and glowered at him "Fuck you." you hissed, waddling to your bedroom with your snack. Not a minute later you came crying to Toji, babbling how sorry you were and how you were the worst "Babydoll." Toji chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks "It's 'lright. You just goin' through pregnancy right now and you didn't hurt my feelings." he smirked "Besides you're fuckin' adorable were you're mad." you smacked his chest playful and snuggled into his chest when he hugged you and slightly groped at your love handles "Thank you.." you muttered.

Oh and how could you forget your aches and pains or more like ignore them? Your baby was lively, active, and strong, a fact that you found out in not such a pleasant way. You were going through your resume, checking if everything was updated, that's when hunger strikes, and as you were walking to the kitchen, you stilled and let out a pained groan, a sharp pain was Installed in your spine. Your lovely baby had just kicked your spine, you stood there for a good minute processing the pain. And of course, once you told this to Toji he laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. Honestly, what did you expect from getting knocked up by someone like Toji fushiguro?

The living room was peaceful despite it being a Saturday, Megumi and Toji sat beside you as they watched the flat-screen TV above the fireplace, Adventure Time playing while you read where the red fern grows in your fiancé's arms. Your eyes widen in fear, at the sudden feeling of liquid leaking out from you, soaking your pants and the cushion beneath you, and the pain that followed so after "T-Toji." you shook his arm "Yeah?" he slowly took his eyes from the TV to look at you, his eyebrows frowned as he saw your panicked expression, he took you in looking for any clue what could be wrong when his jade eyes stopped on the dark wet stain "Fuck me." he pushed off the couch like it had burned him and picked you bridal style, your combined baby weight, and your normal weight did nothing to slow his movement "Megumi let's go!" Toji called out to his son, as he grabbed his car keys. The drive to the hospital was hectic, as Megumi asked his dad questions while Toji tried to keep calm yet you couldn't help smiling at the scene, yes the contractions hurt like someone was squeezing your uterus like a very needed stress ball but you had given a chance at love and a chance of having a child by the man you loved for so long after losing the baby before. You were going to meet your baby girl Emi and you couldn't wait, you closed your eyes and sat back, feeling at peace.

Everything was okay.

Taglist: @18lkpeters , @ablondehoe @sherlockzss @chadychadyy2k @wo-ming-bai @lilikakashi @gina239

#toji x y/n #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x chubby reader #toji fushiguro x reader

233 notes · View notes

cellythefloshie · 1 year

Text

;; Cruel Summer Dedicated to @snugglyducklingbrewhouse for her birthday bingo

Summary: There was nothing more you looked forward to than summer after a long academic year of studies. You and your best friend are set to hit the road for a cross-country road trip, but with her comes her boyfriend, Jack Hughes, and with him his best friend and college hockey captain Nico Hischier - who just happens to be the bane of your college existence. M's Bingo Card Tropes: Taylor Swift Song AU - Enemies to Lovers - Summer / Off-season - Roommates - College AU - Sharing a Bed Kinks & TW: unprotected sex (are we surprised?) - pull out method (please don't rely on this at all it will fail you), morning sex, casual sex, hook-ups, secret relationship, situationship, drunk confessions Word Count: 7k+ A/N: We haven't been a part of each other's communities long, but you have been nothing but a welcome presence since! I am so happy that I am able to celebrate your birthday with you with this fic! I stepped out of my comfort zones a lot with this one by writing for Nico and using Taylor's Cruel Summer as the main inspiration for the fic. And somehow I managed to roll all of those amazing tropes into one fic! Happy Birthday, Hun! I hope you enjoy! 🎉 I also made a quick Pinterest board for the vibes. Playlist.

With final exams behind you, there was nothing more that you were looking forward to than summer. The warmth of the sun, the carefree freedom that was already ready to consume every bit of you as you left all your responsibilities behind you. There was nothing better than the summer vacation after a hectic academic season, especially after the stressful junior year you had. The stress of your studies aside, you could have considered it to be a great year, that was if it hadn’t been for your roommate.

At the beginning of the term, you and your best friend had decided that you wanted to live off campus. Tired of the dorm life there was nothing more exciting than having your own place, but that came with a great cost - which meant rooming with more people than just your best friend. The three-bedroom duplex apartment you have been able to secure not far from campus was perfect, especially since your best friend had gotten her boyfriend, Jack Hughes, to room with her - but that had left a spare room to be filled. And Jack had taken the liberty of offering it to his college hockey captain: Nico Hischier.

This hadn’t been an issue at first. He was easy enough on the eyes that you didn't complain, but it quickly become clear that the two of you weren’t going to get along. He seemed to know how to press all of your buttons, your days starting and ending with snide comments or heated arguments that left you both returning to your respective rooms - and you couldn’t wait to put that all behind you.

With summer, you could leave that animosity behind you. You wouldn’t have to see him until you both returned for your senior year in the fall. That thought alone excited you as you packed a single duffle bag, but what excited you more was the trip you and your bestie had planned to take. You had been looking forward to it for months. The two of you had rented a van - one of those ones with the small bed and kitchen in the back. You were going to travel the country together, take in the sights and monuments the great country of America offered you. But the excitement quickly faded as you threw your bag over your shoulder and made your way down to the van that waited in the driveway.

You wore a smile as you spotted your best friend throwing her back into the back, but then it wavered as she tossed in one bag and then another. Your lips parted to call out to her, but your throat was left weak at the sight in front of you. The devils and angels had been gambling with your happiness as with your bestie came her boyfriend Jack and with him Nico. Your biggest college nemesis would be joining you on what was supposed to be your greatest escape from him.

Most nights, the four of you piled into the back of the van. You would all sleep stuffed into the cot, elbows bent into backs and uncomfortably hot as you found yourself venturing into the southern states. It left tensions high, and you constantly on edge, especially when Nico tested the boundaries of just how much room he was allowed to take up on the bed. He was by far the biggest of the four of you, standing at 6’1 - a whole 2 inches taller than Jack - and broad with muscle he seemed to take up more and more room as the nights went on. It sent your blood boiling as you fought him on it, as it sent Jack closer to the center of the bed, and your best friend further into you, and in turn you were forced closer to the wall of the van. It left you claustrophobic and struggling through sleepless nights so finally after mere days of driving the four of you agreed to check into a motel for a proper night of sleep.

What the four of you couldn’t agree on was the sleeping arrangements. With your best friend dating Jack she was quick to state they would be sharing a room, but you couldn’t afford a room all to yourself and that only meant sharing with Nico. You were far from interested in that.

“We could share a room, and the boys could share a room,” you insisted, your arms coming to cross your chest as you leaned up against the van, “it’s not like they haven’t shared a room before - and we used to share a bed all the time-”

“Tell us more,” Jack was wearing a wide grin as he grabbed his bag from the back, earning a displeased groan from your lips.

“You wish Hughes,” you scoffed at him and looked at your best friend with pleading eyes. She had to be able to see this from your perspective. She had to understand why you couldn’t stand to spend another moment with Nico never mind having to share a room with him. “Do me a solid, just this once-”

But her mind was clouded by one thing, and one thing only. Sex. You could see it on her face as a blush crept up onto her features and her words became a soft, unapologetic, “sorry.” And you couldn’t blame her. The pair of them were like two love-sick puppies that fucked like rabbits, and they hadn’t been able to fuck since the four of you had left Newerk - though you were sure Jack had finger-fucked her at least once when they thought you were asleep in the passenger’s seat during Nico’s turn to drive.

As much as you wanted to protest, to stop your foot and throw a tantrum because Nico wasn’t even supposed to be on this trip you conceded and pointed a finger at Hughes and narrowed your eyes, “You owe me one.”

“We’ll make it up to you,” his smile didn’t waiver as he tossed your bag at you, and locked up the back doors of the van before the couple ran off to one of the two rooms Nico had gone to the front desk to secure.

They left you both to stand in the parking lot, a standoff of sorts as he held up the remaining key. “I’m about as excited about this as you are.” Which meant he was dreading it fully, with his entire being. He’d rather die than have to be rooming with you on the road, and yet you both stood there, full of life but seething.

“One room?”

“Yup.”

“One bed?”

“Yup,” Nico answered again, and you could have sworn you saw the corner of his lip threaten to curl up into a smirk.

“Fuck me,” you groaned out as you reached out to snag the key from his hand, but he pulled it back, just out of your reach. Hearing your words sent his smirk blossoming into a full grin now.

“Keep dreaming,” and when he said your name, you were on the verge of letting out an annoyed scream.

“I wouldn’t fuck you if we were the last people on the planet and the fate of humanity was solely up to you and me,” you assured him.

“If we were the last people on the planet, it wouldn’t be long until you were the only one left-”

Your lips curled up into a smirk of your own as your stepped forward, “Let’s play a little bit of pretend, shall we? Our planet is the hotel room, and it’s just you and me alone on that planet - so why don’t you just fuck off, sleep in the van and let me enjoy the bed.”

“Not a chance,” his eyes narrowed, “if you want the van, go right ahead but I’m not missing out on sleeping in a bed even if it means having to share it with you.”

You had dipped into your saving to be able to cover your share of the room, you weren’t going to concede for a second time. “Just get us in the room for fuck sake, I want a real shower.”

In an instant, you knew you should have bit your tongue as Nico’s dark gaze had risen to meet your and there was a flicker of light in them that sparked like the ignition of a flame. A shower. A real shower. No one had one in days. You were sure you stunk. You knew he did. And now you would be fighting him for it.

You couldn’t fight Nico for the key. Not with how he towered over you, and not with how the strength of his hands had fisted the key in his palm for safekeeping. Holding it down by his side, he stalked off in search of the room, but you never let him get too far out of your reach. For as soon as you heard the lock of the door disengage you had thrown a shoulder into his chest in a desperate attempt to shove him out of the way. Yet, he barely budged. Hell, you hadn’t even thrown him off balance. The only thing you had managed to do was coax a smile onto his lips as he leaned into the door, the heavy weight of him easing it open.

Stumbling in after him, you reached your hands out to give him a good shove. Your palms met the plains of his back, your breath catching in your throat as you felt the strength of him flex beneath your touch. It was almost enough to have you conceding, your mind suddenly clouded when it shouldn’t have been. You had lived with each other for the entirety of a semester. You knew how strong he was. You had seen it when he had worn a tight t-shirt to class or had caught a glimpse of him as he made the short walk from the bathroom to his bedroom in nothing but a towel when he was sure no one would notice - because if there was one thing he was that you didn’t really mind, it was that he was modest.

He didn’t flaunt himself around the house or the campus like the other players seemed to. His appointment of being the team Captain didn’t go to his head either. He respected his position and accepted any and all responsibilities that came with it. He didn’t even use it as a way to get girls to come back to the house - hell, had you ever seen him bring a girl home at all?

It was a thought that left your brows furrowed as you battle him along the path towards the bathroom. You would push him, and he would shove you back - but his hands were careful, calculated in just where he touched you. Finding your waist at its curves or against the back of your shoulder as he tried to move you out of his way. But neither of you would concede. Not even as you both tried to jam your way through the bathroom door. Your bodies collided, pressed firm together at your sides and earning an exasperated sigh from both of your lips.

Groaning you let out a sigh as you turned just enough so that your back was pressed against the cold frame. Nico did the same but stretched an arm across the doorway to grip at the frame as he tower over you. Suddenly you felt claustrophobic and small as he looked down over you, his dark hair hanging into his eyes and his smile crooked - conniving.

“Hischier,” you swallowed hard, challenging him with nothing but his name. What was he thinking?

Whatever it was, you didn’t wait long enough to find out. You wanted to shower, and you were going to be the first one to indulge in it. Even if that meant stooping low. Easing away from the door, you inch dangerously close to Nico, giving yourself just enough room to reach down and draw your shirt up over your head. Then you reached down to your shorts, thumbing the button free before letting them fall to the floor before you were standing there in nothing but your bra and panties.

You watched as his face softened, his dark gaze raising just enough for you to know you had some kind of effect on him. Cocking your head, you smiled, pressing up onto your toes just enough to mutter up to him, your words hot against his cheek, “I’ll try to leave some hot water for you. Now, be a gentleman and shut the door.”

Ducking under his arm you sauntered off into the bathroom with your bag in hand and a bit of a hop in your step. You would celebrate every single one of your little victories.

With Nico’s silent surrender, you heard the door close behind you and you let yourself undress and relish under the heated embrace of the water - but you did keep the shower quick. It was the least you could do when he was nice enough to concede when you challenged him.

Exiting the bathroom, you were dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of barely there shorts. You had hoped that you would be able to sleep without pants for the first time in days but there was no way that was going to happen now. Nico wasn’t about to get a free show, not from you.

“There’s still hot water there for you,” you told Nico firmly as you moved for the bed and crawled up onto the side of the bed that was left for you.

It wasn’t the side you normally slept on, but you weren’t going to fight him on it. You had gotten to shower first, so he could have his preferred side of the bed. You settled into the bed, it was stiff and the sheets a bit scratchy but it would do. Anything was better than sleeping in the van at this point.

You had hoped to be asleep before Nico had come out of the shower, but the rush of the water in the next room was all too loud and you couldn’t get comfortable. Worst of all, when the tattooing of the water against the tub had seized, your discomfort only intensified when Nico had come to bed. You could feel his heat radiating across the safe distance you had both agreed upon - a good foot of mattress that left you both sleeping on the very edge - and to your distaste he had decided to sleep shirtless.

Every opportunity you felt sleep had to take you, you ruined it with one accidental glance over at Nico who fell asleep all too quickly at your side. You would catch a glimpse of his soft features, or the flex of his all-too-impressive muscles and it would leave you tossing and turning in bed in a desperate attempt to get comfortable. But your mind continued to haunt you: How unfair it was to have someone so irritable look like that?

Scoffing to yourself you curled up with your back to him. You thought of literally anything else but him in an attempt to bring yourself to a state where maybe, just maybe you would be able to fall asleep - but Nico had found yet another way to keep you awake. He was talking in his sleep.

You let out a long, agonized groan as you took your pillow and shoved it over your face. You would have to go out and sleep in the van at this rate.

Rolling over you contemplated waking him up, but the shimmer of sweat on his skin and hardening of his features was almost enough to leave you concerned. Was it a nightmare? You leaned in, encroaching on the space between you both, a careful hand coming to rest on his shoulder - it was then his lips parted, muttering an almost silent word before you heard something all too familiar: your name. Nico was dreaming about you. You swallowed hard, your eyes widening in shock before falling back into their heavily lidded state. That had to be a coincidence. Maybe you had heard him wrong.

That was what you told yourself as you settled back into your place in bed. And with a final huff sleep crept on you, one final thought on your mind: If he was dreaming of you, you hoped it was a nightmare.

Come morning, the space at the center of the bed no longer existed. Your bodies had both moved inwards on the surface to avoid tumbling over the edge in the night - and with that, your bodies had become intertwined. You could feel Nico against your back, his legs tangled with yours, and you could feel the stiffness of his cock pressed up the back of your thigh. For a moment you almost forgot that it was Nico in bed next to you, a faint smile on your lips as you wiggled your hips back into his cock. His cock was impressive, to say the least, the outline of it felt so clear as he snuggled a little closer - but as Nico cuddled in close you caught a breath of the unique scent of him and it sent your heart plummeting.

This was the worst-case scenario - and you hadn’t even thought once that it might happen. You couldn’t hate yourself more than you did at the moment as you shifted just enough to press your ass into the girth of his cock. And you chastised yourself for it, disgusted with your own actions as you wiggled and pressed yourself against Nico to feel all of him. He would notice, he was still asleep - and with how carefully and subtly you moved you hoped in the off chance that he did wake up that he would think you were still sleeping too.

But then you felt a hot, heavy breath blossom out and over your shoulder and the strength of his arms was coiling around you like a boa constrictor. Nico had been awake the whole time. You should have pulled away at the realization, but instead, you were frozen, petrified as he leaned in and nuzzled his face into your hair. Then, with sleep still heavy on him, he leaned in and placed a lazy kiss on your neck. And when he finally spoke you could hear the amusement in his words, “I won’t tell them if you don’t.”

For a moment, you think it might be some kind of joke. Something that will end with him peeling away from you with laughter at your willingness if you were to agree with him. A cruel joke for him to play, but then you feel his hips as he presses his hips up against your ass as if you hadn’t felt his hard-on already. It was that action, that really had you entertaining the idea of letting him fuck you. You really should have, not with how much you loathed him, and not with how much he loathed you. He was all around intolerable, you knew it. Everyone knew it - and yet, when he shifted just enough to ease his cock from his boxers and ease it into the small triangle of space between your thighs and clothed cunt you were caving.

“For fuck sake, Nico,” you groaned out, using his first name for the first time. It felt foreign as it slipped off your tongue, having only exclusively addressed him by his last name until that moment as he slowly fucked that space between your thighs and your judgement waivered.

“Is that a yes?” he spoke against the sensitive skin of your neck, his voice low, sultry hum that left your arousal puddling between your legs.

Your head cocked, “You won’t say anything?”

“Not a damn word,” he promised, angling his hips just right to press the head of his cock up against the sensitivity of your clit as thrust lazily.

You had to bite your lip to combat the shutter that threatened to crawl up your spine and the soft sound that would have left your lips with it. Fuck, what an embarrassing thing it was to be so desperately wet for him - but he was hard for you, and something now was telling you that the dream that left him muttering your name in the night was no nightmare, but a sex dream. You almost smiled. Almost. But you didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. This was nothing but an agreement of convenience.

“Then stop teasing me and fuck me properly, or did you need me to teach you how to do that?” Even in bed, you wouldn’t let your rivalry wouldn’t subside.

Drawing back, Nico was free of the space between your legs and he had given you just enough room to roll over and push the flimsy fabric of your panties down the length of your legs. You didn’t even think to discard your shirt until you were climbing into his lap, taking the dominant position on top of him, and meeting him at the mouth.

You had never considered kissing Nico. Not once, not ever. But now as you were, feeling his soft lips against your own, and tasting his morning breath - which really wasn’t all that bad - in your mouth you started to question why it had never crossed your mind. He was a very attractive man after all, and he was very, very good at it - not that you could have predicted that when you seemed to do nothing but challenge and throw childish insults at one another.

The caress of his tongue against your own left you melting into him, your hands exploring the shape of his body - something you hadn’t done so much as catch glimpses of before. You could feel every ripple of his muscle as his hands moved to hold you just right, and every twitch of his cock as you let your hips roll up and down the length of him without taking him inside you. It left his coated in the slick of your arousal, sending tingles down to your toes, but you were impatient - and your best friend would be too when they would be kept waiting on the both of you.

Reaching down between the both of you, you took hold of his cock in your hand and stroked it slowly. Nico let out a soft sound against your lips, coaxing a smile onto your lips as you guided him to the entrance of your cunt and eased yourself down onto him. His cock stretched out in all the best ways, sending a burn of pleasure to spread throughout your body in a heatwave as you rode him in a steady rhythm.

For a time, you thought Nico was just going to fall into submission. That he was going to let you ride him hard and steady as you would your fingers into his messy hair and relish in how you tugged it - but you could always count on Nico to challenge you. His large hands spread over your hips, lulling you into the false sense that he was going to help guide you up and down the length of his cock but he was only trying to find his leverage. Soon, he was holding you firmly in his hands, flipping you so that your back was against the bed - and not once had his cock left you to feel void.

You could feel every inch of him with every thrust as his large hands guided your legs up to wrap around his hips. The simple action had left your lips parting to protest him - there was something too intimate about missionary, the last thing you wanted was to be looking him straight in the face as he fucked you - but your words were silenced completely by a moan. He was bringing pleasure to you that the frat boy hookups you had collected during your time in college could only dream of bringing you.

It left you reeling against the mattress, your head thrown back into the pillows as you reached out to grasp at anything to ground you. The mattress, the T-shirt that still hung off your body, and Nico. You clung to Nico as if he was the very source of your gravity. Your hands found his shoulders, clutching at his strength desperately as your legs wound around his middle. Heels pressed into his back and the pressure of his weight against your inner thighs as each deep thrust tested the depth of your flexibility but you were desperate to take him to your limits.

It left your head spinning as the pleasure of him fucking you - and not just fucking you, fucking you hard. His every thrust fueled with every ounce of animosity the two of you had held since September - threw you into ecstasy, your mouth agape with a silent moan as you refused to give him the satisfaction of hearing you - and you could not risk anyone hearing you both from outside the motel door.

But Nico wasn’t as discrete. His lips parted in a soft moan that had you drawing him into you to place one last hungry kiss on his lips before he was pulling back and pulled out of you. His face was soft, completely and utterly relaxed as he took hold of his cock and stroked it until his cum had shot out over the thin fabric of your oversized t-shirt.

It left you cursing. You slept in that shirt more often than you would like to admit, and now it was going to be a mess you had to hide - but at least he hadn’t cum inside you.

Pulling off the shirt, you stepped into the bathroom to clean yourselves up in silence. You shared nothing more than careful glances as you dressed and you didn’t speak to one another until you were both standing at the motel room door, staring at it as if it were going to open itself.

“This never happened?” You quirked a brow up at him.

“What never happened?” he met your gaze, his face expressionless but you could see the playful smile that lingered in his dark eyes.

“Exactly,” you breathed out and reached for the handle.

You were both hit with the blinding light of the morning, your eyes squinting before you could pull your sunglasses down to shield them. You tried to keep your head down, to make your way to the van with the hope that Jack and your best friend had yet to finish up your own fun - but it was that very pair that greeted you, her voice all too chipper for you to be happy about so early in the morning, “we were starting to think you killed each other-

Groaning, you opened the side door of the van and tossed your bag into the back. It wasn’t abnormal for you to be irritable in the morning, you were in no way a morning person, but the last thing you wanted to talk about was Nico. Especially when you could still feel the ghost of his touch on your body, and the heat of him as he trapped you between his body and the van as he reached around you to toss your own bad inside. Sure, you could pretend he hadn’t just fucked the life out of you, but it wasn’t going to be something you forgot about. Not when your legs were still on the verge of trembling and not when you could feel Nico’s eyes dragging over the curves of your body - undoubtedly admiring how you looked in the little sundress you had put on.

He would have to get better at hiding that stare of his. Climbing into the back of the van you let yourself glance back at Nico, your eyes meeting his as your lips pressed into a firm line to suppress that smile you wanted to give him It was then you finally answered your best friend, “Yeah, well, there’s still time.”

The rest of the summer had been cruel. Both June and July had been heated, and not just because of the rising temperatures. As you travelled from state to state you teetered on the tightrope walk of secrecy you had created with Nico. Since the two of you had shared the bed back in at the cheap motel there was no ignoring the magnetic draw you had towards one another. Don’t get it wrong, you still hated him - or at least that’s what you told yourself as you travelled across the country with him, your best friend and Jack.

The two of you would start fights just for the hell of it. The arguments were mundane and heated to distract your friends and yourselves from the lingering glances the two of your found yourself sharing, or the lingering of his hand against your thigh as you both sat in the back seats and you were sure your friend and Jack couldn’t see a damn thing - and not once did they think anything was going on between the two of you because on the surface nothing had changed.

It was in secret, between breaths and late nights that you and Nico had stolen your moments. Time in time again the two of you would sneak away - sometimes it was Jack and your best friend that left you alone when they would sneak off for some shameless fun of their own - to break the tension that would build in the hours, minutes and seconds from the last time you would have indulged in one another. It was a whirlwind of emotion to go from fighting one moment to having Nico’s hands on your body the next. It was an exhilaration you chased right down to the very last day of your trip.

You relished in every moment of no-rule, no-strings-attached affection the two of you indulge yourselves in over your 100 days of summer. Even now as you sipped back your drink in the dim light of the dive bar you frequented on campus you struggled to forget the hookups and makeup sessions that had been the highlights of your summer fling.

Shutting your eyes, you sighed out, the memories so clear as you let your mind wander. You could remember so clearly how the two of you had stood in the warm embrace of the van’s bright headlights, your silhouettes stretching out over the motel’s brick walls. You were mere feet apart, the spotlight on you keeping you at bay as you exchanged subtle glances. His dark eyes left you melting, your heart racing with excitement as your best friend and Jack had already run off to their motel room. You and Nico had put on your usual charade, protesting about having to share a room with one another again. It had become a version of foreplay more than anything as when the van’s headlights dimmed, and his features were left aglow from the buzzing light that flickered above the nearby vending machines there was no stopping the two of you.

His gaze had dropped, his lips curling up into the cocky smirk he often found himself wearing when it was just the two of you before the space between you was stolen and he was pressing you back against the hood of the van and kissing you. The kiss had been far from chaste. There was always an insatiable hunger the two of you shared, one that could only be combatted by the touch of his hand against your skin, or the taste of his tongue in your mouth. You remembered it all so fondly, and you wish you hadn't because it left you to drown your longing in your drink as you watched Nico as he leaned up against the bar. His features were illuminated by the neon glow of the neon bar lights. He was entertaining the attention of a pretty girl, one that had been shamelessly flirting with him for the last 45 minutes - not that you were counting or anything.

Upon arriving back on campus after your summer-long adventure together your secret summer fling had been left behind. It was easier that way, at least that was what you told him. You needed to focus on your studies, and he was juggling his college hockey career and maintaining a high enough GPA not to get kicked from the team. With your responsibilities aside, it had been a relationship of convenience, you had been stuck with him all summer, so it just made sense. Right?

That thought didn’t make the jealousy any less tolerable as your empty glass met the tabletop and you excused yourself to get some fresh air. You had thought the crisp autumn breeze would have been enough to calm you. That it would ease the race of your mind and draw you from the void you felt aching deep in your chest. But the chill only brought attention to how you missed the warmth of his body against your own and it left you sinking to the ground, your head in your hands as you sat on the curb as you let out a sob.

As much as you tried to hide it, the crying drew the attention of those outside taking long drags of cigarettes and those coming and going from the bar. There was a time nobody would have given a damn. When they would have just passed you without looking twice, but you were best friends with Jack Hugh’s girlfriend and no longer got to slip beneath the radar.

It only took a few minutes for your best friend to come running out of the bar, her face blanketed with concern and Jack in tow. Even he, who seemed to be the embodiment of smiles and sunshine, had let his face go soft. They had never seen you like this before. Your name was a mere echo in your mind as your best friend’s voice echoed in your mind.

“Hun, what’s wrong?” she spoke out to you in a soft tone, her hands on your shoulders as she tried to get you to look at her, “did something happen?”

“No, no,” you shook your head, your hands raising to wipe your cheeks free of your tears, “I’m fine, really.”

It was a lie. You knew it. They knew it, but you refused to tell them the truth. You couldn’t exactly tell them that you hated seeing Nico with someone else. Not when they thought you hated him - not while you were still trying to convince yourself you hated him too, but there was a very thin line between love and hate and you had broken it.

Through vision blurred by your tears, you watched as Jack and your best friend exchanged worried looks, and without exchanging a single word they had reached a decision. “Com’on let’s get you home,” your friend sighed, her arms wrapped around your shoulder to help you into a standing position, and when she spoke again you almost vomited, “Jack, go get Nico-”

“No!” You blurted out, your eyes wide and your stomach in knots.

And they don’t question it, because why would they? To them, you hated Nico and leaving him behind had always been something you had been advocated for - especially since that often meant you had more time away from him. Yet, it didn’t stop Jack from going back into the bar as your best friend helped you into the back seat of the car where she would sit with you for the duration of the ride home. Her hand stroked over your hair, her arms keeping you pulled into her as you couldn’t shake the cries that consumed you.

You choked back each sob, your face burying into your friend's shoulder as Jack, who was always your designated driver, drove through the campus traffic and back to the house. But it didn’t stop the tears from leaving the hot trails down your cheeks and you couldn’t ignore how Nico’s stare had been fixed on the rearview mirror that was angled just right for him to take in the sight of you. With just a single glance at the mirror, you were left to fight a shiver that threatened to travel up your spine. You didn’t like the way he was looking at you. It wasn’t with annoyance, frustration or anger for pulling him away from the nightlife, but instead, he was looking at you with concern.

Feeling the heavy weight of his stare on you for the duration of the car ride, you were quick to get out of the car the moment it had been thrown into park. Your limbs felt numb, and your heart was racing. Your tears had seized, but you had been thrown into a flight response. Quick steps carried you up the driveway as you pleaded with your friend. Your words assured her that you were fine as you abandoned them in the driveway and disappeared through the gates of the garden.

You were welcomed by the garden that had already welcomed the embrace of autumn. Flowers wilted, and leaves began to change into brilliant shades of red, orange and gold before tumbling to the ground with the gentle embrace of the breeze. It sent a chill through your body as you settled yourself down on one of the garden benches, and it left you contemplating about going inside and locking yourself in your room but you needed the distraction. You needed to hear the rustle of the leaves. You needed to smell the unique scent of their decay. You need to feel the change of the season, the changes that came with life that you would be forced through and accept. In that you found your calm, one that was challenged in an instant as you heard a pair of footsteps against the cobblestone path that wound its way through the garden.

Looking up, you had expected to welcome your best friend, she had never failed to make sure you were taken care of and yet it wasn’t the sight of her that greeted you. Somehow, some way, Nico must have convinced her that this was a job he was suited for and it left you sick to your stomach.

“Can I help you with something?” you didn’t mean to be so polite, you should have bit out some kind of snarky remark at him, but your voice was weak and you didn’t have enough energy for a fight.

Nico was silent for a moment as he came to sit down at your side on the bench. He didn’t meet your gaze, his hand folded in the hold of one another as he fidgeted with his fingers. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he looked down at the ground, his dark hair falling down into his eyes as his lips parted in an uneven breath. “No, I ah-” he rambled out gently, you had never seen him as such a loss for words before. Nico had always been so quick to counter you, to challenge you and you so quick to do so in return and yet you both had been reduced to tiptoeing around just the right words to say, “I just, wanted to- Are you okay?”

You answered with a stiff; “Ha!” Your gaze cast to the side as you rolled your eyes, “as if you care.”

Your words left him wincing, his head cocking to the side. You had his full attention now as his jaw slacked, and his mouth was left gaping as if to say, did you really just say that to me?

“Of course I fucking care,” he bit out, your name followed after, his voice raised. Offended.

You could only scoff again, “Why would you?”

“Why would I?” he echoed you, a thick brow raising up, “you damn well know why. So why don’t you tell me what happened, and whatever asshole did this to you is going to have to deal with the entire hockey team-”

You near groaned, he would never understand. There was no one to punish because the person who did this to you was yourself. You chose to push Nico away after returning home. You chose not to sneak around anymore and that meant you couldn’t have him. Then, the protectiveness of his tone dawned on you and you almost laughed. He had no reason to be getting that way. Not when he had no claim on you, not when you had both agreed to act like what happened during the summer didn’t happen - and yet your heart still ached for him, and it seemed he struggled to put it behind him as well. But if his words were enough to lull you into a false hope that maybe he had fallen for you too, you couldn’t let yourself admit it to him - you hadn’t even fully admitted it to yourself either. Pushing up from your seat you began to walk away from him, your hand waiving him off carelessly.

“Just as I said earlier, I’m fine,” you did your best to assure him as you tried to leave him at the centre of the garden, but in one rushed stride and he was close enough to reach out for your wrist.

“For fuck sake, talk to me,” he demanded, his voice raised as he tugged on your arm just hard enough to turn you back around to face him.

You didn’t know if it was his tone or the way his skin felt against your own but it felt a rage inside you, one that wasn’t quite an anger, and not quite desire, but it left you to shout, “I love you” before you could stop yourself. Then your eyes went wide with the sudden realization of what you had just let yourself say. Then your words fell into a scoff, your head shaking as if you were talking to yourself and yourself alone, “Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

Your words had sealed your fate, leaving your heart racing as Nico had lost every sense of hesitation. Shoving your hand to the side he stepped in to steal the air between your breath and took your face in his hands. And as his name was but a mere whisper on your lips he was guiding you in, his lips coming crashing down onto yours. Your cruel summer may have ended, but autumn was just the beginning for Nico and you.

#nico hischier #hockey imagines #hockey rpf #hockey smut #nhl rpf #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #M's Birthday Bingo #aestethic

346 notes · View notes

sensei-venus · 2 years

Note

Wait omg your Anthony x reader was pure gold. I live for getting caught scenes. But the part with Hawk 🤣

Could you write something with Hawk x Chubby reader where they are dating and he catches Anthony checking out her out?

(Unedited) ( Possibly part 2? Idk if it fits a part 2 or not)

The pool was packed for it not being summer yet. The whole dojo finally decided to come together once again and go to the pool. No karate war going on meant actually getting to have fun at the pool for once. Everyone loved the idea of going to the pool on the weekend to hang out and have some good old fun on a hot cali day.

Hawk picked up his girlfriend in his car and they headed towards the pool.

Reader couldn’t help but giggle as she pulled her bag into her lap in the passenger side seat. Her face was beaming with a smile on her lips. Hawk raised a brow as he watched the road infront of them.

“I am so excited! I bought a new bathing suit just for today. When I found out we got invited to go to the pool I couldn’t help but get a brand new one. I haven’t bought a new one since last summer.”

Hawk hummed at her words, he was happy to see her so excited about a simple outing to the pool.

“ Should I ask about this new bathing suit or should I just wait and be surprised?”

“Well I would hope your surprised about it! But I think you have already seen it. It was something I tried on at the mall a couple weeks back, when you, me and Miguel where hanging out? We meet him in the food court for lunch.”

Honestly, Hawk didn’t remember that trip to much. He mostly just remembered meeting Miguel for lunch. He bought them all ice cream at the small place in the food court.

Also the fact that right after him and Reader left, they fucked in the back of the car in the mall parking lot. It was super clear in his head because he had actually ripped her panties and he promised to buy her a new set the next time they went to the mall again. It was a fun time.

“I’m just going to wait and see, I get to see you all wet this time.”

Reader huffed and punched him in the shoulder making him grin and scoff.

When they finally made it to the pool Hawk parked his car and the two teens got out. He hugged Reader close as they walked up to the entrance where they met Miguel,Sam,Moon and Demetri who where hanging around out front. All of the still had their normal clothes on. Once Moon and Sam got a look at the two they practically ripped Reader away from Hawk. Reader waved to her boyfriend before she was pulled in by the two girls and dragged to the changing rooms and bathroom’s. Sam spoke up first talking about how excited she was to finally get to go swimming again. Moon talked about how her mom gifted her a new bathing suit, a skimpy bikini set that matched her eyes. At least that’s what her mom said.

Going into one of the stalls Reader changed into her new bikini set.

Reader slowly opened her stall door and came out. Sam and Moon where already done getting into their swim suits and stood outside her stall. They both gasped at her, for a minute Reader wanted to hide thinking maybe her bikini didn’t actually look as cute as she though. Her hand and arms tried to cover her self before the other two girls where borderline jumpy on her. Her eyes widened as Moon squealed.

“Omg your outfit is so cute! Did you get it at the mall??? I want to get one too.”

“Reader you look so cute in that bikini. It suites you perfectly.”

Readers cheeks felt hot as she uncovered her self again. She nodded and they talked for a moment about her bikini.

The three girls headed back out and into the main part of the pool area. They quickly spotted some of the boys. Robby and Demetri where already in the water with Tory throwing a ball around and swimming. Miguel and Hawk sat on the sidelines, most likely trying to protect their seats. The park was pretty busy now. Hawk pulled his shades down as the girls came into the picture. His eyes scanning over Reader as she moved though the small crowed of people and into his view. He watched as her thighs and belly jiggled with every step and the way her breasts moved up and down. The fact that her tits where still in the top was amazing to him.

She looked fucking hot.

As she got closer she smiled and waved at the two boys. Miguel gave a small wave as he pointed to a few empty seats beside them. All three girls finally got over to the boys and sat down. Reader made a beeline to the seat next to Hawk, he smirked as she sat down, his eyes following the swell of her ass as she sat down next to him. She dropped her bag between the two chairs and sighed. Hawk leaned over and gave her a small kiss and she gladly accepted. The two pulled apart and Hawk put his sunglasses back up.

Reader looked around for a minute before reaching for her bag and unzipping it. Her hands searched around for a good minute or two before she realized what she forgot. She felt bad for asking.

“Babe can you go check your car for me? I think I left my sunscreen in the car. I don’t want any of us burning under this sun. Especially you, one sun burn and your out of commission hun.” Hawk fake grunted and mumbled about going to grab it from the car for her. She gave a small “thank you Hawk~” as he left in search of the forgotten sunscreen. With him gone she turned over and looked to her friends to talk to while he was gone.

A thick mop of black hair moved though the crowed and caught her eye.

“Is it bad that I forgot Anthony was coming? Poor guy I completely forgot about him.”

“I’m his sister and sometimes I forget him too, don’t feel to bad.”

The younger boy stud by the pool for a few minutes as they talked. Reader looked over at him a few times to make sure he was ok, he seemed to be staring at something over by them. She shrugged it off and kept talking to her friends. She didn’t think about it again until she looked over and in a split second saw Anthony being shoved into the pool by some random kid. Reader couldn’t help but get up and run over to pool to see if he was alright. He hit the water hard and splashed right into the deep end. Reader quickly grabbed the boy from the water and help him haul himself up and out of the water. He coughed and spit up a bit of water as he gasped for air.

“Oh my god Anthony are you ok?! Did you hit your head when you fell in? Come on let’s get you dried off.”

She pulled the teen to his feet and lead him over to where she was sitting originally. Sam looked over and rolled her eyes before going back to sunbathing.

Anthony sat down on the pool chair, completely drenched in water. He basically looked like a wet cat. His eyes where a bit glazed over and his breath a little messed up from all the water he just inhaled. But his eyes where still working.

That’s how he got a eye full of Readers ass that was basically out for show as she searched around in her bag for a extra towel. He couldn’t stop himself from watching as she jiggled with each movement. Bent over right in front of him. He gulped as she turned around with a fresh clean towel in her hands.

“Good thing I pack extra. Let’s get you dry. Let’s hope you didn’t get to much water in your ears, nasty ear infection that would be.” She smiled as she throw the dry towel on his head and started drying his hair and face.

Then his eyes where planted on her huge tits that where right in his face. Every time she shook his head she was jiggling them right into his face. If he moved even a inch he would be right in between them. His face planted right into her pillowy cleavage. She could basically smother him. His eyes where wide as he watched them move.

That was until she stopped and big hands slammed down on his shoulder making him jump a little in the chair.

Man hands.

“Don’t worry Princess I got him. I’ll help him dry off and keep a eye on him. Don’t want him walking around with a concussion or anything. Here’s that sunscreen, found it on the floor bored. Maybe you should go see if Sam needs some while I take care of Anthony here.” He slapped his hands down hard on Anthony’s shoulders twice. Reader smiled and nodded before walking over to Sam and offering her some of the sunscreen.

“I’m feeling nice today kid, stop looking at my girlfriends tits and ass or I’ll break your scrawny little knees worse then I broke Demetri’s arm. Clearly we have some things in common and I might just be willing to give you some tips on how to score.”

Anthony looked up at Hawk and nodded.

“ I uhh could do that. What’s your advice?”

#cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #eli hawk moskowitz #cobra kai hawk x reader #cobra kai hawk #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz smut #eli moskowitz x chubby reader #eli moskowitz #cobra kia eli #cobra kai x chubby reader #hawk moskowitz x chubby reader #chubby reader #plus size reader #cobra kai anthony #anthony larusso

756 notes · View notes

giowritess · 9 months

Text

fortnight [1]

gif by @dameronscopilot

pairing | Benny Miller x female!reader [Grace Stratford]summary | you somehow end up pretending to be Benny's girlfriend for two whole weeks. is your heart going to survive that? probably not. warnings | mentions of sex, alcohol, mentions of cheating by a third character word count | 1.7k author's note | so. happy new year! i deeply apologize for not showing my face here for the last two years lol things have been complicated and i haven't found the time to write. i've recently fell in love again with the miller brothers from triple frontier and this came up completely random, it's gonna be a small series and i'll post as soon as i write them. future smut. no mentions of y/n; grace's name is only mentioned once. english is my second language and this wasn't proofread so i apologize for any mistakes. hope you enjoy it. xx masterlist | main masterlist

fortnight

"Meaning: 14 days; fort·night ˈfȯrt-ˌnīt : a period of 14 days : two weeks."

Pretending to be Benny Miller's girlfriend for two whole weeks wasn't how you planned to spend your days off, but here you were.

After working so hard for so long, you finally had your well-reserved month off, plus a few days more. You spent a few days with your family and now were all set to enjoy two weeks of summer bliss at a friend's super fancy summer house, along with lots of other friends and others not so much, as you soon found out.

The moment you got there, you could hear the laughter coming from the house—a mansion, one could say—even from your car. The moment Will showed up at the doorway, Maddie, your best friend and his girlfriend, jumped out of the car to run to him and you rolled your eyes. They saw each other yesterday. But then Benny showed up at the door, shirtless, laughing as Will picked Maddie off the ground, and you sighed.

Yeah, you had it bad, and he was completely oblivious to it.

While you and Maddie made the trip there, she filled you in on a lot of things. The house belonged to Luke's parents, Luke being an Army buddy of the boys and your long time friend since high school. What a small world, right? Besides him and the three in front of you, you couldn't say you were “friends” with that many other people there. At best, “acquaintance” was the most appropriate word, but you didn't mind, you were there to enjoy the summer, the Fourth of July and Luke's birthday. But the thing is, Maddie also told you some other rather interesting things. Benny was pissed for two reasons: one, he was the only single guy there, and two, his ex-girlfriend was there with her new boyfriend. His ex that, according to Maddie, was the one who broke things up and he still had a thing for. His ex that Maddie hated because she was a typical Regina George—nevermind being almost thirty.

The idea started to form in your head the moment Maddie told you all that, but you still weren't so sure of it.

The thing was, your relationship with Benny was weird. Since Maddie was your soul sister and you were always around when you weren't deployed, he was basically a brother-in-law to you. You two had always been friends, got along just fine; there was, however, one alcohol-filled event two years ago that changed the trajectory of your relationship.

You still remembered it as if it had happened yesterday. You'd just gotten back from deployment, happy to be home at the beginning of summer, your favorite season. Maddie and Will were in the early stage of their romance, lots of longing glances and unsaid words, so you were starting to be around Will and Benny more frequently. The thing was—you had a thing for Benny since, well, ever. You just couldn't help it, guys who knew how to make you laugh were your downfall, and it was only a bonus that he was handsome as fuck and had eyes that made your parties drop. Suffice to say, Benny Miller was your dream guy, but he never made a move on you as seemed interested in you. It wasn't that you weren't brave enough to go for it—you just couldn't bear the possibility of being rejected by him, so you accepted your fate of liking him from afar.

That night in particular, your first night back, the four of you were at your favorite bar to celebrate your Captain promotion—after four whole years in the Air Force, you finally had a helicopter to call your own. To say you were happy was to say the least; you were estatic. Your little brother would be proud of you. All drinks that night were on Maddie and the boys; you weren't a heavy drinker, but that night you let loose and really enjoyed yourself. And shit, you could swear Benny had never looked as good as he did that day. It didn't help that you hadn't had sex in a million years and he was basically sex on legs, nor did the fact that the trash bag of your ex, who cheated and dumped you through a phone call while you were overseas, had just walked in with his brand new girlfriend, the one who he cheated with. It served only to make you want Benny even more—he was so much more man than your ex, and you'd bet an arm that he was better at sex, too. You were sure of it, even though the only place he'd been recently (every night) was in your dreams.

You were both drunk, you more than him. Maddie and Will had abandoned you already. You weren't sure how—maybe because of your sex deprived and lust-filled mind—, but the subject turned to sex, asking each other what sort of crazy things you'd already done. The thing in question was 69, which you'd never done, and Benny surprised you when he denied it, too.

And then, maybe it was the alcohol running through your veins, fogging your brain. Or how close he was and how good his perfume smelled. Or maybe you'd just had enough, so you said, taking a sip of your beer:

“I bet you know how to properly eat a girl out.”

You saw the moment his eyes darkened, one of his eyebrows raising up. He slowly placed his beer on the table. You didn’t breathe, feeling as if you were about to die while waiting for his reply.

“Wanna find out, Captain Stratford?”

You were bracing yourself for a rejection, for him to say he wasn’t interested in you that way, anything but that. You definitely weren’t expecting that. He didn't ask, but you'd never had sex in a car before. Or had three orgasms on the same occasion that weren't self-induced before. But yeah, he was way better than your ex, and your dreams.

But then it got awkward between you two afterwards. Sure, it was the best sex of your entire life, and sure, you'd love for it to happen again, but you weren't really sure how to treat Benny. So you tried to act as natural as possible and so did he, almost as if pretending that nothing had happened. Except it had, and every time you looked at him, you remembered it. Everytime you looked at his hands, you remembered how well he worked you up with those long fingers. Everytime you looked at his face, you remembered his beard glistening with your juices after he made you come twice with his lips alone. Whenever you saw him holding something, you remembered how good it felt to have those fingers wrapped around your throat while his cook hit every right spot, again and again. Safe to say, you were having a hard time focusing whenever he was around, and it made you wonder if the remembered it, too, when he looked at you, because sometimes you could swear he looked like he did. And sometimes... sometimes he looked at you the same way he did that very same might when he asked you that question. But then it faded as quickly as it came. So you tried to treat him like you used to, but for the past two years it seemed to have an elephant in the room with you, and you just didn't know what to do about it.

Truly, you'd already accepted that nothing would ever happen between you two again. But the moment Maddie told you all that, the gears in your brain started working. It was risky—what if he didn't like it? And honestly, why? It wasn't as if you really wanted him to get back with his ex... yeah, there was no rational motive you could come up with. At least no motives that weren't selfish. But then, still sitting at the driver’s seat in your car, you glimpsed your ex, wrapped around his current girlfriend—a new one, who looked suspiciously like you—by the pool, and that gave you the courage to go ahead with your plan. So that was how you found yourself in your current predicament. Exactly when Benny was awkwardly talking with his ex, still by the door, you called out his name and went to him, the surprise evident in his face. And then you kissed him.

This was the defining moment. You were scared of his reaction—and then he kissed you back, way more fiercely than you expected, his tongue slipping into your mouth, until the girl in front of you cleared her throat.

“And you are?” She asked, and the tone of her voice made you want to strangle her.

Instead, you took the jealousy and anger cursing through you and transformed into confidence, and you gave her your best smile.

“I'm Grace,” you replied, and you felt Benny's eyes on you. “Benny’s girlfriend.”

You didn't know what surprised you more: the giant scowl in her face, or one of his hands going around your body.

“I'm sorry, what is it again? Pam, Tam?” You asked before she said a thing.

You knew damn well what her name was.

“Sam,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Oh, that's right. Lovely to meet you.” You turned to him, dismissing her entirely. “Help with the bags?”

He nodded and gave her an apologetic look, before grabbing your hand (another surprise) and following you to your car. The moment you opened the trunk, he let go of your hand and you already missed the contact.

“What's going on?” He asked, confusion clouding his beautiful features.

You glanced around to make sure you were alone and tugged him closer.

“Look,” you whispered, “both our exes are here, and according to Maddie, you still like her. This way, you make her jealous, maybe win her back, and I rub it in his face that I landed someone way better than him.” His lips tugged up in the slightest shadow of a smirk. “What do you say?”

You didn't realize you were holding your breath until he replied.

“Huh. That's really smart,” he said, surprising you once again.

You expected him to say something more, but then he grabbed the bags and walked back towards the house.

And that was how you found yourself pretending to be Benny Miller's girlfriend for two weeks.

Would your heart survive those two weeks? Probably not.

by @reveriesources

➜ part two

#benny miller smut #benny miller fanfic #benny miller x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfic #benny miller fanfiction #benny miller x female reader #benny miller x you #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfiction #will miller #giowritess #garrett hedlund #Garrett hedlund fanfic #writing #fanfiction

111 notes · View notes

seamirrors · 11 months

Text

Pairing : Kelly Severide x female!german!reader

Summery: You visited your family in Germany and your boyfriend missed you.

You were a firefighter who was born and raised in a small town in Germany. In the end you decided you didn‘t continue living in Germany so you moved to the US ,Chicago specifically.

To be honest ,moving to Chicago was the best decision you ever made ,even if you terrible missed your family. Shortly after arriving in Chicago for the first time , you wrote an application for the fire academy and you were granted the opportunity to do the test. You passed it and after finishing the academy you were transferred to firehouse 51 on Truck 81.

At the firehouse you met the people who now are more like family to you then friends and also the person who was now your boyfriend of three years.

It had been two weeks since your last shift since you had visited you family back in Germany. Most of the time the only way you were able to see them was through facetime. You sadly didn‘t have alot of time to fly over and visit them and they didn‘t have the kind of money to book a flight.

Anyway you landed back in America about an hour ago. Your boyfriend thought that you would be back tomorrow ,so you thought you would suprise him. Of course you knew that he was on shift at this exact moment and not wanting to have all your stuff with you,the first thing you did was getting a cab and driving towards your shared apartment and dropping your stuff of ,before showering and changing quickly.

Then with no detour you drove your car towards the firehouse. Arriving there you saw that squad was currently on a call which makes you go to the common room and you saw that everyone, aside from squad ,was there. Sylvie was the first one to spot you which made her squeak.

Everyone looked in her direction and then into the direction where she was looking. All you could hear were gasps and cheeres and you felt arms that were slung around you ,Sylvie.

"What are you doing back already ? I thought you were supposed to be arriving tomorrow.Since when are you back?“ Brett continued to rambled ,not really letting you answer her questions. Meanwhile you were given hugs from everyone of your little makeshift family.

You all continued talking and twenty minutes later you all could hear Squad arriving back at the firehouse. The others didn‘t stop talking ,while you were awaiting your boyfriend’s presence. Luck was on your side that day because Kelly was approaching the common room and didn‘t sit directly on his chair.

His stare was directed to the floor as if he was thinking about something. Maybe about the call they just came back from. You cleared your throat and it was like everbody around you went silent. His head snapped up and he stared at you in disbelieve.

The Lieutenant could not belive his eyes. It felt like eternity since he last saw you in person, even thought it was only two weeks. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone but you, when you were alone.

Walking towards you with fast steps he embraced you tightly and he seemed to forget that you weren‘t alone in the common room. You hugged your boyfriend back,happy to see him after two weeks away.

Matt who knew his best friends ,started to guide the other people out of the room to give the two of you a little more privacy.

While still embraced , you finally greeted your love in your native language:“Hallo mein Schatz“ Kelly shivered because of it, loving when you spoke German to him. "Hey,“ he mumbled back. Finally after several minutes you wiggled out off his arms and set on the long table ,where you all normaly ate your lunch.

" How was your trip?“ Severide asked you ,wanting to know everything. You were just about to answere the Lieutenant when the alarm went off.

" Squad 3, Truck 81 ,Ambulance 61…“

The man jumped up directly and gave you a fast kiss on the lips before running toward where the trucks where. With a smile you watched him go.

You couldn‘t help but be excited to work again.

#one chicago #kelly severide x reader #Kelly severide imagines #Chicago fire #German!reader

81 notes · View notes

bimoonphases · 7 months

Text

@wolfstarmicrofic March 7 – prompt 7: Revive Potion – word count 859

Revive Potion - Awakens an unconscious person

“How many bottles of firewhiskey do you think there are?” Remus asked, his tone mildly concerned.

Peter just shrugged. He had no clue, as he had no clue how many people were now cramped in the Gryffindor Common Room, but if someone had told him the whole of Hogwarts was there he would have believed them. And it made sense as well. After all, Sirius was very popular and this was his seventeenth birthday party. As lavish as the others had been, this was even grander to properly celebrate the fact he was now an adult since around five o’clock that morning. The Marauders had woken him up jumping on his bed as they always did with birthdays and had brought him in triumph to breakfast, loudly singing Happy Birthday every time he opened his mouth. But after breakfast Sirius had disappeared. He had mumbled something about having to see McGonagall and they hadn’t seen him since. They had all been busy planning his not-surprise-birthday-party, but now the people were there, the music was loud, beer and firewhiskey and snacks were going around, Prongs had been glued to Lily for the past hour and still no trace of the birthday boy. They all knew Sirius loved being fashionably late and making a dramatic entrance, but it was starting to become worrying.

“Do you know where your boyfriend is?” Peter asked.

“Nope. He just told me not to worry,” Remus answered.

Like that had ever stopped him before, Peter thought, rolling his eyes. It was supposed to be a fun night and he really didn’t want to have to take care of an increasingly worrying Remus or worse, a panicking James just because Sirius was late at his own party. Not when Cornelia from Hufflepuff looked breathtaking in that dress and had been smiling at him across the room for three songs now.

The portrait hole opened in that moment and the cheers coming from the people nearest to it told him the star of that night had finally showed up, pun very much intended. He moved away from the wall along with Remus, meeting Sirius in the middle of the room, busy smiling and patting people back.

“Where have you been, Pads?” James asked, after having hugged him for so long Lily had to physically drag him back.

“London,” Sirius grinned. “A little day trip with Minnie.”

They all looked at him, puzzled, and he ran his hands up and down his black leather jacket.

“I’m of age now, so I’ve officially come into the inheritance my uncle Alphard left me,” he said. “And since there was the risk of my parents being at Gringotts to stop me from getting it, Minnie came with me.”

“You got McGonagall as a bodyguard, I don’t know how you did it” Lily shook her head.

“I’ve always said I’m her favourite,” Sirius winked.

“That doesn’t explain how you were gone all day,” Remus said.

“Well, since I was there I decided to gift myself my birthday present,” Sirius shrugged. “And since I was technically in her care, Minnie had to stay there with me.”

“What did you get?” James asked eagerly.

Sirius grinned even wilder and unzipped his leather jacket, before dramatically letting it slide off his shoulders and arms and on the floor. Peter stared. His friend’s chest was covered in tattoos and as Sirius slowly turned around, he saw that his back and arms were as well. There were moon phases around his right wrist, paw prints running around his upper left arm, antlers on the back of his neck, footprints which looked suspiciously like the ones they saw on their Map on his spine, whiskers on his right ribs, a constellation Peter didn’t recognize on his left collarbone, the words WE CAN BE HEROES on his right one, KILLER QUEEN just above the waistband of his jeans on one side, with STARMAN on the other and DRAMATIC just above his navel.

“Those are amazing!” Marlene exclaimed, gaping at them.

“I can’t believe you had McGonagall sit through that,” Dorcas laughed, one arm looped through her girlfriend’s.

“She loved it, at least until I told her I could get her name tattooed on my bicep and then she hit me with a teaspoon.”

“You look so cool, mate,” James said.

“You really do,” Peter agreed.

“I damn well do,” Sirius winked. “What do you think, Moony?”

Peter looked up and had to bite his tongue not to laugh. Remus was frozen by his side, his eyes moving up and down Sirius’s torso and his mouth left open. He didn’t move or answer for such a long time Peter was starting to wonder if he would have to brew some emergency Revive Potion to get his friend functioning again, when Remus finally blinked and finished his glass in one gulp, handing it to James and reaching out to take Sirius’s hand in his.

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait to blow your candles,” he said, before dragging Sirius away to the stairs.

“Well, something’s definitely getting blown tonight,” Mary said as the door to the dorm slammed shut.

33 notes · View notes

britany1997 · 1 year

Text

Dancing King

It’s the way I was so mad at myself for accidentally posting this when I meant to save it as a draft😭

Ofc I can do this for you bestie!!!! Hope you have an amazing birthday! And I usually do make these pretty personal so it’ll be tailored to you:) (which means that while I usually write the TLB boys to be turned in their 20s, David and Star will have been turned at 17 for the purpose of this fic)

David x Webs & Star x Webs (he/they pronouns used) @gothamslostboy

You and your girlfriend were free spirits, the kind of people who could never sit still. Whenever a song came on, the two of you couldn’t help your feet from tapping and your bodies from swaying. You and Star could dance the entire night away.

The two of you frequented dance clubs, parties, beach bonfires, concerts, anywhere you could move your feet.

You always brought your boyfriend along too, there was just one problem.

David didn’t dance.

In all the time you’d been dating him, the most you’d get was a nod of his head or a small sway of his shoulders.

When you would grab Star’s hand and take the floor, David would give you a small wave from his place at the bar, watching, but never joining.

Your happy place may have been under a spotlight, his was on a barstool with a glass of whiskey.

You promised him it didn’t bother you, and for the most part that was true. You liked that David was a little different than you and Star, he grounded you.

But sometimes, you’d wonder what it would be like to see David let go and move to the music. You imagined taking his hand in yours, pressing your chest against his and swaying together.

But David didn’t dance so you were satisfied to keep that dream to yourself.

You stumbled towards the entrance to the cave excitedly, almost tripping over you own feet in your rush to see your partners.

Your friends had done an amazing job at making you feel special all day, but the night was for Star and David. They’d promised you they’d put together a surprise you’d “absolutely love.”

“Don’t be nervous, it’s gonna mean so much to him, he’ll love it,” you heard Star’s reassuring words as you shimmied down the ladder.

“I’ll love what?” you asked as you strolled into the cave’s main alcove.

“Baby!” Star exclaimed as she ran up to engulf you in a tight hug. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her in close.

“Happy birthday handsome,” David said with a smirk as he came up behind the two of you.

“My turn?” he asked Star.

She sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes but smiling as she pulled away, “I guesssss.”

You pulled David into your chest and kissed his cheek.

“Hey!” Your head snapped to see Star with her hands on her hips, though a joking smile played on her lips, “I didn’t get a kiss!”

Your lips turned up into a bright smile, “I’ve got kisses for everyone,” you promised as you pressed your lips to her cheek.

When the kissing, blushing and giggling died down, you put your hands up “ok, ok, what’s this surprise I’ve been hearing about?”

Star turned to David, “you wanna tell them?”

David smiled softly, “you go ahead,” he said as he pulled an envelope from his pocket and handed it to her.

Star beamed before pulling three tickets out of the envelope. “Platinum ABBA is playing at the boardwalk tonight, and we’ve got tickets at the barricade!”

You gasped, Platinum ABBA was the best ABBA cover band. You were touched by their thoughtful gift, tears began to well in the corners of your eyes.

“Thank you both, I- I love it,” you gushed as you wrapped an arm around each of them and pulled them in for a hug.

“We knew you would,” Star smiled as she squeezed your side.

After awhile David pulled back, “alright alright, enough with the touchy feely stuff, we’ve gotta get going.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes as David ushered you both out of the cave. Your smile turned to a smirk when his hand slid into yours.

Though your spots at the front were a little tight, the venue was big enough and Platinum ABBA was niche enough that you still had ample dancing room.

As the band began to play Chiquitita, you and Star swayed to the beat, twirling and twisting around. David watched the two of you laugh and swing with admiration. Though dancing wasn’t really his thing, he loved to see you happy.

Each song was the same, you and Star totally lost in the music, and David observing nearby.

Until the last song of the night.

A smile stretched across your face as you heard the familiar intro to Dancing Queen. Before you could take Star’s hands in yours, David offered you his.

You gasped as you looked up to see his flushed face. “May I uh,” he cleared his throat, “may I have this dance.”

Your heart melted. “Of course,” you told him as you laced your fingers with his. The two of you swayed somewhat awkwardly through the first verse, while Star clapped to the beat in encouragement.

When the chorus hit, all three of you clasped hands and spun around together, singing along to the words of the song.

You are the dancing “KING,” Star and David yelled with you over the sound of the music.

Young and free only seventeen

Dancing “KING,”

Feel the beat from the tambourine…

You heart felt full as you shouted the lyrics and swayed until your voice had evaporated and your feet felt as if they could fall right off.

When the concert ended, the three of you walked back to David’s bike.

“Thought you didn’t dance,” you teased.

David chuckled, “for you? I’d do anything.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across your face.

“So,” Star began, as she rested her head on your shoulder, “what do you think? Good birthday?”

You smirked, “I’m having the time of my life.”

Birthday Request Taglist🎂:

@6lostgirl6 @misslavenderlady @ria-coolgirl @crustyboypix @flower-crowned-lady @bloodywickedvamp @anna1306

109 notes · View notes

thefrontofmymind · 1 year

Text

Might As Well 3; He Don't Give A Fuck

matty healy x videographer!reader

WC:4858

masterlist

As much as you grew to love Llandough, you did miss home–the grey skies and usual scent of home. You felt at ease when your stepdad picked you and Chris up at the train station and you could settle back in your bedroom, only your bedroom; you’d learnt a lot about your brother from sharing a room, some things you’d wished you didn’t.

You felt so changed by those three short weeks, you’d learned about you dad and the kind of man he actually was–an apologetic, loving man who just missed his kids–and you found a new part of yourself with Dylan.

You spent every remaining day with him after your kiss, The Kiss. He’d begun to come to your father’s front door each morning so you could walk together to the park. He met your father and brother, gave them both firm handshakes and introduced himself confidently. He was being a perfect gentleman, it felt like you were living in a dream.

It was a bittersweet goodbye on the train platform, which Chris rolled his eyes at as he anxiously hoped it wouldn’t take so long that you’d miss your train–it was a possibility. And you busied yourself on the train in an endless chain of texts between you and him.

You’d never felt like this before. With every message you grew more and more giddy, you never got tired of speaking to him, never starved of a conversation topic.

Once you were back home and settled, your mum noticed a change in your demeanour, and you were more than happy to tell her why.

“She’s got a boyfriend,” Chris interjected before you could answer her queries.

“Chris! You’re such a twat!” You yelled, chasing him around the kitchen table where you were catching up over some tea.

“Don’t call your brother that,” your stepdad scolded, not even looking up from the book he was reading.

You simply huffed and sat back down in your seat, trying to ignore the giggling from your younger brother, Luke, that was only spurred on by Chris.

“So…” You mum began. “What’s his name? What’s he like?”

“His name is Dylan, he’s really nice, he’s just finished Year 12, he’s doing biology, he’s just really nice,” You answered, sure you were growing red in the face. Not that you could do anything to stop it.

As you laid in bed, waiting for the lull of sleep to fall on you, you thought about him. How this all marked a turning point in your life, you finally had a chance to change–not like the hiccup you had with the band, this was real. You could feel it.

Your summer was uneventful, your time full of Skype calls with the boy you were becoming more smitten with by the day. You liked the new routine you were falling into, and you had to admit you did miss the refuge of your bedroom just a bit while you were gone.

You got back into the groove of editing little things just for fun–and to keep your skills sharp while you were on break from school–and rarely came out of your room. Only necessary trips like to the bathroom and to the kitchen for another cup of tea could get you out of there.

Only on one of your tea trips on an otherwise dull Tuesday afternoon, did you get a surprise, you supposed. Matty. Standing in your kitchen, leant against the countertop and waiting for the kettle to boil. He was tapping his foot with impatience until you locked eyes and he froze, like you.

After a second of pure shock, you remembered how to move again. You cleared your throat in awkwardness and continued on your quest, preparing another mug next to his and standing at the opposite side of the kitchen while you waited for the kettle.

“I was hanging out with Chris,” he said after some silence.

“I figured.”

Silence again.

“Sorry I didn’t text you back. Didn’t want to bother you…”

“It’s fine,” you answered. “I was busy, didn’t notice.”

“Chris told me all about your dad. He seems nice.” Okay, this conversation was continuing, you thought.

“He is, we had a good time.”

The kettle clicked, it’d finished boiling. Matty turned and poured water into both mugs. You grabbed the milk out of the fridge and splashed a bit into the cups. You both stirred.

“And he told me about Daniel,” he said while squeezing the tea bag against his spoon and tossing it into the bin under the countertop.

“It’s Dylan.” And you walked away without another word.

You couldn’t lie to yourself. Somehow, no matter how much you willed yourself against it, Matty kept invading your mind. You wondered what he was up to, what he’d been up to while you were gone. As much as you hated to admit it, you’d gotten dreadfully lonely again without another physical presence in your life. You tried to ask Chris, in a roundabout way so he’d have no reason to think of you as the clingy younger sister, but he’d not gone into much detail and you didn’t press further.

You missed him. And all of the band. You’d never quite been that inspired with a project before, and you liked to think that was it–you were itching for a new creative endeavour. You sat on the thought for a while, weighed up your options. You eventually caved that Saturday morning. And you texted Ross.

hey buddy wats up?

You immediately cringed at the idea that he’d see your text and laugh at how desperate you were. Your mind kept going in circles over and over again until it was quickly alleviated by your phone chiming a couple minutes later.

matee! not much going 2 a gig 2nite

wanna tag along if ur not busy??

You smiled at the messages, it was a kind gesture from Ross, and you appreciated it. You typed back a response.

sounds cool! could u pick me up?

An immediate reply.

does 7 work?

Seven could work, you had about ten hours to prepare–that should be enough time.

yep! see u then!! :)

You had anxiety swirling a storm in your skull that evening as it grew closer to 7 o’clock and Ross had ceased contact. You sat on your bed with tears brimming as you watched the clock turn to fifteen past 7 and Ross had yet to arrive. You should’ve known better, but part of your heart broke at the idea that a boy who’d been so nice to you in the past would just abandon you for…a joke? Some kind of vendetta? Was it Matty’s doing?

You spiralled further and further until there was a knock on your bedroom door. You tried to quickly wipe the tears away from your eyes to make yourself presentable as your Mum poked her head into your room.

“Your friend, Ross, is here. He’s in the lounge,” she said and disappeared as quickly as she’d arrived.

You grabbed your bag and made your way to the living room as quick as you could without seeming too eager. You were surprised Ross had come to your front door, knocked, come in, and introduced himself. You’d never had someone make an effort to make themselves look polite and kind to your family because you’d never had someone who’d face consequences if they didn’t–if some random girl you’d been paired with for a school project was friendly with you for the duration of the time she was being graded for it, only to totally ignore you even the next class. You knew you were probably being silly, but there was a glimmer of hope that you’d maybe found a friend. Though, apparently, not if your thirteen year old brother had anything to do with it.

“So when you’re all famous can I tell girls you’re my mates?” He was sitting on the sofa while some movie special was playing on the TV. Ross was standing in the doorway of the loungel.

You let him awkwardly stutter out a confused “sure” before interrupting. “Ready?”

Ross turned his head to look at you standing at the bottom of the stairs. He looked you up and down before smiling. “Sure.”

You yelled out a ‘bye’ to the rest of the house.

“Don’t get home too late!” Your mum called out from her spot in the kitchen.

“We won’t!”

With a closed front door, you and Ross were on your way to “some shitty pub”, as he explained it.

“It’ll probably only be like three drunk middle-aged guys-”

“-and me,” you interjected.

“And you, but you’re with the band so you don’t actually count.”

You didn’t quite think about it before, you were a groupie. You began yet another round of mental spiralling–you were so young, and you were at this band’s beck and call like some kind of naive puppy.

“You alright?” Ross asked, pulling you back to reality. “You…disappeared for a second.”

“Yeah, just…” You sighed. “Do you get nervous before you perform?”

“A bit…but not really anymore,” he answered.

“Because I’m nervous for you…” It came out quieter than you intended–there was more to the admission that even you knew.

“It’ll be ok,” he reassured you with a smile.

You tried to remember to breathe, but with the two front windows down to let some wind through to cool you both down from the warm summer night, you felt stifled. The more you focused on the fact that you were having trouble, your heaving intensified. Soon tears began to build in your eyes, and you begged any omniscient power in the universe that Ross wouldn’t notice–though of course he did.

“What’s up?” He said with an extreme level of concern.

You managed to get out a mostly coherent sentence between wheezing breaths. “Can…we…just…put…the windows…up?”

Ross quickly pulled onto the curb of the empty road, rolling up his window and leaning over you to do the same to the passenger side. He watched as you tried to regulate your breathing in a sort of brace position.

You weren’t sure how long you were sitting there, time began to slow around you when you just couldn’t stop the sobs that would escape every time you tried to take a breath.

Several minutes later you began to calm down–your breathing even itself out and the tears were drying up.

“I’m sorry,” you said after sitting back up and seeing Ross staring at you with a look of what you could only describe as terror. “I don’t…I don’t know why that happened.”

“Has that…” Ross started. “Has that happened before to you?”

“Not as bad, but yeah, when I get nervous…”

“It was just because you’re nervous for us to perform?”

You sighed. “I lied.”

Ross looked confused.

“I’m so…worried about what you all think about me. I think you’re all really cool and I don’t want to disappoint you all.”

“Why would you disappoint us?”

“Not so much disappointing you, I guess, disappointing myself. I’m worried I’ll invest too much and I’ll think you’re all actually friends with me, when you’re not.”

He chuckled, it sent a shock of panic into your spine, you worried you’d be right back where you were just mere minutes before.

“Well I have a-uh-secret to tell you…”

It was now your turn to look at him confused.

“This whole summer, with you being away, you were missed.”

“Really?” You asked with a smile.

“Yeah! Matty showed pretty much…everyone your video…We all love it.”

“Thanks,” you said.

“I’m just telling you the truth,” he answered. “Now, the guys’ll kill me if we’re late for the gig.”

As Ross drove the both of you to the pub, you began to calm down. Soon, you’d turned on the radio and were singing along to whatever dad rock the station had chosen. And you felt normal, at least for a little while.

You pulled into the carpark. You saw parked closer to the edge of the car park, the white van you’d missed–for some reason it tugged on your heartstrings when you saw it. As you walked to the front doors of the pub, you instinctively pulled your jacket closed across your body, it made you realise just how close summer was to ending; a scary thought, you didn’t want this part of your life to end, and you’d be going back into the unknown of the next school year–your last school year.

It was pretty sparse inside, just a few men nursing pints at the bar–Ross was correct–and a small group sitting in the corner. Your group.

Adam was the first to see you two, and stood up to greet you, “finally! We were worried you’d gone off somewhere never to return…”

“Had to stop for petrol,” Ross lied.

In an ever-so brief lull, you looked to the rest of the group who were sitting and watching the exchange. George, Matty, some girl with a hand on Matty’s leg. You didn’t catch it, but Matty watched your quick stare at her. He put an arm around her.

“This is Missy,” he said. There was something almost antagonising about his tone, provoking you. You introduced yourself with a smile, you wouldn’t play that game.

You were happy. You were dating a guy that was nice that you liked, and he liked you just as much, it didn’t matter that he was 150 miles away.

Soon enough, the foursome stepped onto the tiny stage with minimal lighting, leaving you with Missy and their half-finished pints–that you polished off during their set, but if they’d ask you, you’d vehemently deny it.

They played a couple covers, as well as some originals–some of which you’d listened to on their MySpace. You clapped and cheered after every song, Missy did the same.

“Aren’t our boyfriends cool?” She asked, excitedly after the end of one song and the beginning chords of another. You paused for a second confused. She saw your furrowed brows. “...You and Ross?”

“Oh no!” You said, shocked. “We don’t-we’re not…I have a boyfriend in Wales.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she laughed. “Just with you and him coming together…”

“It’s fine,” you said, turning your head and putting your attention back onto the band.

Though your mind was ticking, worrying. You felt guilty. You wondered how Dylan would react to all this. You never really told him much about your “friends”–the few that you had–and you sure wouldn’t tell him about the fact that they were all older musicians. It wasn’t like you were judging them, you just wanted things to work out with Dylan so much. The idea that one of his friends could be mistaken for his girlfriend would drive you up the wall–even hypothetically.

It weighed on you right until their last song, ‘Robbers’. You smiled on hearing the opening riff, in a way it was kind of your song, in your mind, at least. You sang along to every word, even standing up from your seat.

Your throat began to get hoarse as you cheered at the end of their set, and they left the stage and walked back to your table. You noticed as they all looked confused at the tabletop full of empty pint glasses, but nothing was said about it.

Missy immediately went to telling the guys how well they performed, how much she liked the songs, and giving Matty a vulgar kiss–that you averted your eyes from.

“I need a smoke,” you announced to the group.

As you began to walk out, you heard a voice pipe up, “I’ll come too.”

Matty slightly jogged to catch up to you. You were trying to avoid him, why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

It was even colder than before outside, you hugged your sides to try to hold on to any warmth you had left in your body. You leant against the wall just outside the front door, taking your cigarette packet out of your bag. Matty let out a frustrated huff as he patted down his jeans’ pockets.

“Could I bum one off you? Missy has my pack,” he asked. “I’ll owe you one next time.”

You relented, lightly tossing him the pack–which he caught with ease from a few feet away. He grabbed one, putting it between his lips and tossing the pack to you.

“Lighter?” You did the routine again–now with the black Bic lighter. It slipped through Matty’s fingers as he tried to grab it. “Ah shit.”

“Useless…” You muttered, hoping he’d take it as the joke it was. You stepped forward and leaned over to grab the lighter off the tar paving of the car park, flicking it lit and lighting his cigarette for him. You took a couple steps back, putting the lighter back in your bag and taking a drag.

You didn’t know what Matty expected from this all. You, for certain, didn’t have any reservations. Matty had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want to contact you, as evident from the radio silence; no texts, no calls, nothing.

“So you liked our set?” He asked after a couple moments.

“Yeah! Yeah, you guys were good,” you answered. “Robbers was…really good.”

“Hoped you’d like it,” he smiled. “Your baby, afterall…”

Silence.

“Missy’s nice,” you said.

“She is, hey?” He asked.

“Mmm,” you agreed. “How long have you two…”

Matty thought for a moment. “A couple weeks? Not long after you got back.”

Silence.

“Hows…um…” He started.

“Dylan.”

“How’s Dylan?”

“He’s good…we’re trying to plan a weekend for him to come up here, meet my mum and my stepdad and Luke…”

“And us guys?”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t really like the idea of Dylan meeting the band. You were sure Matty had some kind of angle, as much as you tried not to antagonise him, you couldn’t think of another reason.

“If you want.”

Ross dropped you off at home just before midnight. As you crept to your room, you passed Chris’ on the landing–you could see light from under his door. You knocked quietly, and Chris opened it with a creak.

“How was it?” He asked, gently.

“Good, they were good,” you answered.

“Cool…”

You began to walk down the hall, but you stopped yourself. You had a question swimming in your mind. “Did you know that Matty has a girlfriend? Missy?”

“Missy Brown? From my year? Came to my eighteenth?”

You nodded.

“Didn’t know…he’s not mentioned it.”

“Ok…”

You went to bed with a new question swirling in that always-active brain of yours. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Months went by with little conflict. One of the guys would drive you to their gigs–sometimes Chris if he could get away from uni work for a night–and you’d sing and dance, and try to ignore Missy’s constant nonsensical ramblings about her cool rockstar boyfriend. You were getting settled in this life. You’d daydream all day at school, waiting for the nights at pubs that wouldn’t care to ID you and you felt like more than just yourself, you were growing a family. Between gigs, and the occasional shed hangout, you thought you’d found a place where you could be yourself.

On one particular weekend in November, when the chill had finally settled into the air for winter and you felt it was time to pack your summer clothes away, you missed a gig. For the first time since your first gig.

Though you had good reason. That Friday evening, you and your mother excitedly drove to Manchester Piccadilly to pick up a certain Welsh boy–who’d somehow grown even cuter since the summer you’d spent together.

You stood on the platform while Donna waited in the car–to keep the heat going for the drive back. It wasn’t overly busy, but it certainly wasn’t empty. The beginning of the weekend ensured you’d have a little trouble finding Dylan.

You searched through the faces of businessmen and uni students who were visiting home for the weekend. And then you saw him.

His eyes lit up as you ran towards him. It was like something out of a movie and you practically leapt into his arms and he held you there for a few seconds. After a quick, chaste kiss, you took his hand and led him to the carpark.

“Was the journey alright?” You asked.

“Yeah…boring,” he answered. “Didn’t have reception for most of it.”

“Well you’re here now.”

“I am.” He smiled.

You couldn’t be more grateful when Dylan politely introduced himself to your mother, and she slyly winked at you in the passenger seat as he made pleasant smalltalk from the backseat. You were glad when he shook your step dad's hand and gave Luke an enthusiastic high five.

It all felt like how it was supposed to. You had a kind boyfriend who your family liked, and a group of friends who you were growing to enjoy being genuine with–the good and the bad. Now all you could do was introduce those two wonderful components and hope it’ll all go well.

“There’s a party tomorrow night,” you said while you were both watching one of your all-time favourite movies–His Girl Friday–in your room that night. “It’s a bonfire at a lake near here.”

“Will your friends be there?” He asked, craning his neck to look you in the eye from his position with his arm around you and your head laying on his shoulder.

“Yeah. And Chris too,” you answered. “He’s already said he’ll drive us, and he’s happy to leave if you’re not happy with it all.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” he said, kissing the top of your head. “Can’t wait to meet this amazing band I keep hearing about.”

“Wow. You look…” Dylan said as you stepped out of your room, finally ready for the party. “I don’t have words…”

You let out a giggle before you could control it. You never had someone compliment you like Dylan did, it made you so giddy.

Chris was standing at the door with Dylan, waiting as patiently, albeit with a lightly tapping foot as you two were wrapped up in being a couple of teenagers in puppy love.

Dylan let you take the front seat on the drive there–about 20 minutes. While Dylan was carefree in the backseat, going through his phone, you were shitting bricks worrying about how the night would go.

Through some trees and off a proper road, a group of at least a dozen cars came into view, then a bonfire next to the water and what you could only describe as a hoard of teenagers.

Chris parked and you all got out, going to the boot. Chris had bought you all a few cartons of beer specifically for the party–a stash of your own that was under lock and key. You each grabbed a couple of bottles, you put a few into the pockets of your–Dylan’s–hoodie, and you set on towards the group.

It didn’t take long to find the guys, and Missy fit under Matty’s arm like always.

“Maaate!” George yelled as he saw you, running to you and engulfing you in a hug. After the initial blow of him knocking your breath out of you, you hugged him back, and told him that it was good to see him.

“Everyone!” You started. “This is Dylan. Dylan, this is George, Adam, Ross, and that’s Missy and Matty.”

“Nice to meet you all,” he said, shyly, receiving a chorus of ‘you too’s.

As you loosened up with the numerous beers you drank, it became a much easier experience in getting to know practically everyone at that bonfire. You flitted between groups, introducing yourself and making some light smalltalk. Somewhere along the way, you left Dylan with Chris, you were hoping they’d get to know each other better.

You stood at the fire with Matty–for once, sans Missy, she didn’t want to get smoke in her hair so she was somewhere back with a group of her friends. You kept your hands in your pockets, otherwise you were sure they’d freeze off.

You were focused on the fire, how the flames swirled through the air, and the smoke billowed out across the top of the crowd. You were mesmerised by it, it wasn’t until Matty nudged your side that you remembered where you were.

He has an unlit cigarette in between his lips, and he was holding the pack out towards you with raised eyebrows. You took one and he lit it for you, then lit his own. The smoke heated you up a little, and you felt more at ease.

“Glad you’re here,” he said after a short while of you two smoking in silence.

“Really?” You were truly in disbelief that someone would even notice your presence at all, not to mention the lack of it.

“Yeah! You’re…You’re great to be around…” He answered. You felt touched. “Hey-uhh…I’ve got a little surprise in the van if you wanted to…get away?”

He gestured, and a wave of panic shot through you.

“I’ve never…” you started in a hush voice. “Smoked weed before.”

“Well you don’t have to if you don’t want.”

“No! I want to I’m just…” You sighed. “Scared.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be right there with you!” He teased, grabbing you in a headlock and ruffling the top of your head.

You laughed, threw your cigarettes into the fire and followed him to the familiar white van. You sat in the back as he leaned forward to the glovebox and retrieved a small mint tin. He sat back down and lit the blunt between his lips.

“So it’s just like a ciggie. You breathe in, wait a bit, and then breathe out.” He took a toke and then handed it to you to do the same. “It shouldn’t take long to kick in.”

You breathed in the smoke. He was right, it was pretty close to a normal cigarette, just a little…sweeter? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, all you knew is that you finally figured out what the smell coming from Chris’ room was.

You spent a while just passing the blunt back and forth, and talking about anything, everything. Eventually the question eating away at your mind came to the surface.

“So what do you think of Dylan? Now that you’ve met him,” you asked.

“He’s…alright.” His tone was just a little off.

“What? What’s wrong with him?”

Matty sighed. “I’m just worried for you, is all.”

You gave him a confused look.

“I just think that him living so far away isn’t doing you any favours. I mean, you’ve been together for what? Five months? And this is only the second time you’ve actually seen him?”

“Look, just because we don’t have our tongues down each others’ throats every second like you and Missy doesn’t mean we don’t like each other.” You tried to keep your voice calm and even, you didn’t want to get carried away.

“I haven’t seen you kiss him once at this party! Once! From where I’m looking, it looks like you two don’t even want to be next to each other! If this is what you’re like in public, I can’t imagine what you’re like in the sack!”

You stayed quiet, thinking. You didn’t really have much experience in that area.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t fucked him!” Matty said–a little too loud.

“What does it matter to you?”

“I’m just concerned!” He laughed. “If he’s not up here for a fuck, I wonder where he’s getting it!”

“Like you can talk,” you scoffed. “I think I saw Missy necking on with…three different guys tonight?”

“Me and Missy…that’s totally different.”

“How?!”

“It just is!”

“I don’t need to hear this,” you said, climbing out of the side of the van. You walked along the side of the lake, trying to find anyone else.

“I think you do! I think you’re too afraid to admit that you’re not getting it right the first time and I don’t want you to get hurt in the fallout of it!”

You noticed some people not far from you two had turned and were now watching the commotion. Though you didn’t really care all that much.

“Well it’s not your responsibility to take care of me!” You yelled back at him.

“Listen to me.” He stopped and grabbed your shoulders. “I want to take care of you.”

Your anger boiled out at his entitlement, and you knew you probably shouldn't have done what you did, but before you knew it, it was too late to dwell.

You pushed his chest back, and he slipped on a rock, falling right into the freezing waters of the lake behind him.

You heard him yell something at you as you walked away, but you couldn’t hear over the sounds of gasps and ‘oh my god’s from the watching audience.

“What the fuck?” Chris asked you as you walked up to him, surrounded by the rest of the dickwad’s band, and Dylan. You took his hand, cold and clammy.

“Please just take me home.”

#matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction

66 notes · View notes

httpscomexe · 3 months

Note

I noticed you didn’t have anything yet on Steve Roger’s. Then a miracle happened and my brain 🧠 worked.

Steve Rogers x Reader where she doesn’t normally curse cause it’s for big girls but then she picks up the habit from one of her friends?

Love this^

Bad Language Word

1132 words

WARNINGS: Daddy kink?

“Okay when’s the next turn?” Your friend, Tiffany asked you as she kept her eyes on the road. “Take a right at the next light.” You tell her, and she uses her blinker to get into the left lane.

“Fuck!” She screams as your bodies are jolted forward, the seat belt locking around you and putting bruising pressure against your collar bone. “Oh this fucking bitch is getting it!” She screams as she leaves the car, not bothering to shut the door behind her as she approaches the people who leave the other car that just hit you guys.

“Hey assholes!” She screams, her hands clenched into fists as three girls leave the car that stopped behind you, and you scramble to get out of the car, but once again, the seatbelt is stuck. This stupid old car. “Tiffany!” You shout, hoping to get her attention. “Tiffany!” You shout again, looking in the back mirror and turning over your shoulder you could see them all ganging up on her while she barely holds herself up as they push her and blame her for the accident. Then finally the seatbelt works and you leave the car, removing your hoodie in the process. “Hey asshole!” You yell, catching the attention of one of them. You put your foot out, tripping one of the girls to which she falls to the ground, her face falling into a pile of cold mud. As she fell, you came behind another girl, reaching up quickly and wrapping your hoodie around her head before pulling her towards you, bringing her head down before kneeing her in the stomach, making her double over and fall to her hands and knees, so you bring your foot up and kick her in the face, bringing her to her ass. Then the last girl jumps onto you from behind, wrapping her arm around your neck in an attempt to choke you, but you only bend forward, lifting with your legs as you throw her over your body, and she lands in front of you on her back, and you spit on her the second you collect yourself. “Holy shit Y/N…” Tiffany blurts out, still leaning on the trunk of her car to keep herself up. “Shut the fuck up and get the passenger seat, I’m driving myself home.” You demand, making it obvious that you’re pissing. You both had been working your asses off to control her anger. Literally spending money on her anger management classes out of your own wallet for MONTHS and then a simple fender bender is what causes her to go off. She knew you were mad. You never cursed. No matter the situation you’ve always been able to keep your cool, the only reason you were set off this time is because you’ve had a long day, and some asshole was attacking your bestfriends instead of holding it back. You just wanted your boyfriend. He made every problem go away.

You arrive home. “I’ll see you next week, let me know if anything comes up Tiffany.” You ask her, grabbing your bag from the trunk and watching as she switches over to the driver side. “See you.” She says before driving off, not wanting to anger you more with her usual sarcastic comebacks about her anger management that she doesn’t believe she needs.

“There she is!” You try to smile as you hear his voice upon entering the house, but you have a scowl on your face instead, and it felt as if you had swallowed barbed wire, and it had gotten caught in your throat. “How was the session, princess?” He asked, coming around the corner when you didn’t run in with your usual happiness, always immediately jumping into his arms and pressing kisses everywhere on his face.

“It was fine.” You reply simply. “No it wasn’t. What happened?” His voice hardens and he approaches you with his arms crossed. He looked like an angry dad who was asking his daughter for her report card. “It was fine. Fuck. Get off my back, you’re not my dad Steve!” You shout, and it was already too late to take it back after realising what you had said.

“You get back here. Right. Now.” His voice was stern as you brushed past him, and went into your shared bedroom, changing your clothes into something more comfortable. Fuck I forgot my hoodie on that bitch. You realised as you undressed, getting into your Captain America pyjamas, then Steve came into the room.

“Y/N.” His voice was stern. “You better apologise for your language right this second, or there will be a punishment. Those words are for big girl honey.” He leans in the doorframe with his arms crossed, blocking your way out. “Get out of my way.” You grumble, still holding back tears as you undo your hair and let it fall down your shoulders, walking towards the exit of the room. “No.” He tells you. “Now sit the fuck down on the bed right now before I make you.” He wasn’t asking. He was telling. But you didn’t care. “You can’t tell me what to do, I’m your girlfriend not your fucking-”

“Shit!” You yell as the back of Steve's hand comes across your face, a second time as you scream shit. “Steve, what the fuck!” Again. “Shit!” You whimper, now on the ground as he lifts you by your hair, pulling on it painfully as he throws you onto the bed. You open your mouth to yell and curse at him again, but quickly decide against it as he slowly raises his hand.

“Are you done?” He asks with venom laces in his voice, and you nod. “Use your words princess.” He tells you and you open your eyes to look at him, his hand was back to his side. “I’m sorry… I won’t do it again.” You tell him, and even after being backhanded, you still wanted him to hold you, and all you had to do was ask. “Can you please hold me?” You ask him, and his eyes soften as a small smile grows on his face. He lifts one knee onto the bed then the other, lying next to you and holding you in his big arms as you curl into him. “Anytime princess, but not for long, I have food on the stove.” You nod slightly.

“And Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie?”

“I don’t want you hanging out with Tiffany anymore. Everytime you come home after hanging out with him, you always have this horrible attitude. This language has taken it too far baby.”

“Okay… I promise I won’t hang out with her anymore…”

“Good girl.”

“What’s for dinner?”

“Your favourite… lasagna with extra ricotta and extra sauce.”

“Stevie?”

“Yes baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too princess.”

#marvel #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #x reader #captain america #bucky #I wouldnt mind him backhanding me #he can use me how he wants #steve rogers x you

12 notes · View notes

peculiar0ne · 5 months

Text

okay

so for the record because i've never officially mentioned it- i have a chronic illness. it is (as of currently due to financial reasons) undiagnosed, but that's besides the point.

it mostly affects my legs, they're always in some sort of pain. tolerance has gotten lower over the last few months and my cane that i only used on my worse days quickly became almost useless, except as an assistant in getting up and down stairs in my apartment. i recently was lucky enough to be able to have my friends scrounge up enough cash so we could get me a wheelchair, as my health has declined so rapidly and i was losing most of my independence, having to rely on my boyfriend for most basic things.

i was able to take a day trip with some of my friends just yesterday, it was not only my first time using my wheelchair in public (minus a literal 5 minute walmart trip the day i got it), but also my first time using it in a completely different place from home. we were in a town that we all travel to quite frequently, but because of how far away from home we were (hour 45 minutes), and the fact that my comfort person, my boyfriend, was back at home stuck at work, it was extremely difficult for me to enjoy my day the way i wanted to.

because yesterday i experienced my first ableism encounter(s) since becoming an ambulatory mobility aid user in general. i've had ableist comments over my autism, adhd, and ocd countless times before...but this stabbed me right through the heart.

i've had my wheelchair for i believe 4 days in total now, i'm still getting used to it and i still have very mixed feelings about myself having to use it (internalized ableism, but mostly just fear of not being independent enough). i have already sat and cried countless times, worrying that my partner will eventually give up on me because of how dependent i'm slowly becoming...

yesterday i was in a location in which i have always felt safe in with my close friends. i've visited said place over 30 times in my life because it's so close to home, and not once have i had a moment where i've had to stop to sit and hold back tears.

tears of rage i think, mostly.

but also devastation. i knew ableism was shitty especially to those of us who are visibly disabled in some way shape or form (whether that be using a mobility aid or being a fancy walker, etc.), but holy fucking shit i am absolutely in ruins over what humanity has become.

i was wheeling alongside one of my friends to go to a store in our favorite mall while our other two friends stuck behind at the arcade, which we all agreed to meet back up at. when leaving the store to quickly visit another one, i heard a group of three boys saying "tokyo drift" behind us.

at first, i pushed it aside. i figured they were just pointing out something or watching some sort of clip on their phones. but then when i glance behind me, as i have caught myself doing as a cautious approach to still not being fully used to my chair, they're smirking cockily at me.

again, i push this aside.

but i shouldn't have because the moment i turned back around i hear "they see me rollin'", followed by a chorus of immature giggles, and the boys running away laughing and looking back at me and my friend.

i immediately dropped any evidence of happiness on my face. i was disgusted with myself. honestly it's only been 12 hours, i still am pretty disgusted with myself even though all i was doing was minding my own business.

now, my friends that came with all either have adhd or autism, much like myself. the specific friend i was wandering the mall with at the time has selective hearing because of her adhd therefore she did not hear these horrid comments, but she looked over to me and asked what was wrong.

i tried NOT to sound like a dick but lowkey i kind of growled when i told her what happened and she just death glared them and then took me to build-a-bear (our original destination) and bought me a kuromi plushie to cheer me up.

fast forward about an hour, the four of us are just finishing dinner in the mall food court. at this point, i was still upset but i had cheered up a little as my mind was able to be elsewhere for a while.

just as we're getting ready to go to the arcade, i'm falling a tiny bit behind. but the arcade is about 100 feet away so it's not a huge deal, right?

wrong.

two other boys, completely separate from the three earlier, look down at me with stupid grins on their faces and say "do a trick!" as they're walking away.

again, my friends were a bit ahead of me, and we're in a crowded food court so they didn't hear.

thankfully they all spend the rest of the night trying to cheer me up (i do not deserve them) but i'm sitting here typing this and trying not to cry.

it's so stupid.

but the stupider thing?

all five of these guys were ranged 18-25 at most. one of the guys in the first group looked to be 16, but i'm not sitting here about to assume that shit. it just devastates me that these people can just look at someone in a wheelchair and think "OMG THAT'S SO FUNNY GUYS" and all his friends will fucking agree.

disabilities are not funny.

mobility aids are not a joke. mobility aids are necessary for us with disabilities to get around.

honestly, i hope you don't look at your grandfather in a wheelchair and start laughing. because there's really no difference there besides age.

just grow the fuck up and start respecting us disabled folks.

that or kindly go fuck yourself!

thanks for coming to my tedtalk, i will now go contemplate my life and worry about my crippling medical bills :)

#ableist language cw #disability #ambulatory wheelchair user #invisible illness #wheelchair #wheelchair user #mobility aid #chronic illness #ableism #fuck ableists #ableist bullshit

8 notes · View notes

bellysoupset · 1 year

Note

just popping in to share a little scenario i’ve been thinking about! leo is jonah’s plus-one at some sort of medical community event he didn’t really want to go to, but that he agreed to anyway because he didn’t want to disappoint jonah. they’ve been arguing since they got in the car though, and jonah is fed up because he wishes leo would just be direct and tell him what he thinks instead of tip-toeing around his feelings. so jonah has left leo to sulk in a corner by himself while he goes off and at least tries to enjoy his evening.

eventually, leo finds a little balcony so he can get away from the crowd and the noise and just as he’s taking some deep breaths and starting to relax, wendy stumbles through the door. she doesn’t seem to notice him at first, she stands by the railing, staring out at some indeterminate point in space. she’s just escaped a conversation with an old acquaintance of her parents who, perhaps out of obviousness, perhaps not, just deadnamed her in front of a classmate.

but if leo was irritated before, now he’s fuming. he doesn’t care to notice the pallor of her face or the shakiness of her hands. he tells her to piss off and only realizes something is wrong when her gaze snaps to him and he can see tears in her eyes. she gulps and nods and practically flees back the way she came, at which point, leo, who is more shocked by the lack of a barbed response than by the tears, swallows his pride and goes after her to make sure she’s okay.

This ask is so amazing, I had to answer it immediately. I hope the fic made any justice!

---------------------------

"You don't have to come, I can just take Wendy as my date," Jonah said through his teeth as if he didn't know this was exactly the last thing Leo wanted to hear. As if Leo didn't know he was trying to get under his skin. As if it wasn't working.

"I don't get why you need a fucking date", Leo scoffed, getting up from the bed and marching to their closet. Most of his suits were cheap and just for work, so he dug through the blazer jackets until he found the singular only fancy one he owned and threw it on top of the bed, crouching for a tie, "can't you just go alone? Like a regular person?"

Jonah didn't answer him at all, unbothered by the tantrum and continued to button up his shirt in front of the body length mirror he had on his side of the closet.

"We have to leave in thirty minutes," Jonah said, at last, walking out of the closet. Leo stared at his back, wishing he could burn holes there. It was so unfair.

He had plans for tonight that did not involve sipping champagne and standing awkwardly in the corner like a lost puppy all night. Leo had just downloaded Chicago and he had actually been looking forward to Jonah being gone for the night, since he hated musicals, but nooo.....

By the time he walked out of their shared suite, clad in the fancy tux and clean shaven, Leo's mood was positively spoiled. He couldn't muster up a single smile, not that Jonah minded all that much, because he didn't look happy either.

"It's going to be just three hours, Leo," Jon rolled his eyes as they walked through the parking lot, "and it's for a good cause."

"Don't even try to guilt trip me with the fact it's a charity ball," Leo scoffed, "I wasn't invited to no charity ball nor will I be making any donations. Besides, I don't see why do you need a date to this event."

"Because I do have a boyfriend," Jonah answered sharply, entering the driver's seat, "despite what everyone thinks since my boyfriend is an antisocial prick, I do have one. It won't kill you."

"Watching Chicago wouldn't kill you either," Leo glared at the side of his head and Jonah rolled his eyes.

"Renee Zellweger cannot sing and you know it," Jon snapped back without looking at him, "just try to have some fun and talk with people."

"I talk with people all day, every day," Leo rolled his eyes, only for Jonah to stop briskly on the first red light that was just around the corner of their building.

"Fine!" Jonah exclaimed, putting the car in reverse, despite the fact that wasn't allowed in that street, "Fine! Stay home then! When people continue to gossip about me being single, then you don't get to complain to me about-"

"FINE!" Leo shouted back just as loud, crossing his arms, "I'll go to your stupid charity ball to act as a show pony you can parade around, just drive already!"

Jon huffed, mumbling something under his breath that sounded a lot like more like a mule, but Leo chose to ignore it, before their fight went from "annoyed" to "break up" territory.

Leo couldn't force up a smile, it didn't matter how much he tried and he was trying. It wasn't a bad party, it was better than most of the formal events Jonah had dragged him to, but it was still... Boring. Just boring.

It was out of their medium sized town and in the nearest metropolis, so it took an hour and twenty to get to the jockey club where it was being held. An hour and twenty minutes that Leo spent looking out of his window and fighting the queasiness that was starting to creep up on him from the carsickness.

His head was aching by the time they entered the club, but the nausea got shoved aside by the champagne.

"Not so bad, see?" Jonah said and his voice, despite sounding pretty friendly, still had that petty edge that Leo hated. When he knew he wanted to pick a fight.

"It's fine," he said through his teeth, then scowled even more as he saw a familiar silhouette ahead.

Wendy was arm in arm with Vince, smiling broadly as she talked with an elderly couple. She saw them before Leo could turn around and move along, waving for them to come closer.

"Hi!" She smiled, taking Jon's arm and tiptoeing to kiss him on the cheek, "you look great. Hi Leo."

"Hi," he measured her up and down, unable to stop the jealousy from burning his stomach as Jon's upset frown immediately shifted into a large genuine smile. This cheap Swan Lake Barbie cosplayer always got in between them.

"Hello?" Said Vince, poking him, a charming smile on, "good evening to you too."

"Hi man," Leo forced a yellow smile, still watching as Wendy introduced Jon to the elder couple between them. Both doctors, from Pennsylvania.

"How do did you meet Wendy?" Jonah asked, all flashy smiles and the wrinkly little woman before him started to talk about meeting Wendy during her undergrad program in UPenn.

Leo barely restrained an eyeroll. He had no wish to sit around and hear as some stranger sung praises on little miss legacy admission. Instead he zeroed a waiter across the room and hastily excused himself.

The party was overwhelming. Clearly they had underestimated the turn out of people, because the place was packed full and Leo was starting to feel more than a little overwhelmed. Not only he was annoyed to be there, but with all those people, the loud music, the dimmed lights... He needed some fresh air.

It took him a moment to locate a balcony and Leo rushed out of the ballroom, leaning over it and tugging at his tie, taking deep measured breaths. He was unsure if he was trying to control his panic or his anger, either way it was working. Or maybe that was the second flute of champagne that was quickly getting to his head.

He undid his tie completely, rolling it and stuffing it in his pocket, undoing the first button of his shirt and then reached for his still full third champagne glass.

It was like a balm to his temper and Leo sighed in relief, sipping the cold liquid and looking out to the racing tracks of the jockey club. They had turned most of the lights out, so it was just a very long field of darkness, with a few pops of garden lights appearing.

Vaguely Leo thought this would be a very pretty place to visit during the day. Jonah probably liked horse racing, he was competitive and snobby, the sport fitted right in. He snorted at the thought, turning around to face the ball room.

He couldn't spot Jon among the crow or even Vince. This was a badly organized party, Leo thought, swishing the champagne in his glass and then letting out a loud groan as Wendy walked through the french doors.

She ignored his loud, exaggerated groan, bracing against the stone rail of the balcony, hands tugging at the roots of her wavy hair and Leo rolled his eyes at her.

"Bet one of your extracurriculars was drama club," he said, studying her from the corner of his eye, "really, there are a thousand fucking balconies here, leave me the hell alone. I'm not in the mood for you tonight."

Only then did he actually get a good look of her face, since a person who was blocking the main lamp leading to the balcony moved and yellow light spilled through the glass doors. She was really pale, hazel eyes brimming with tears.

"Are you c-"

"Ye-yeah, sorry," she choked up, turning back around and entering the party once more, practically fleeing from him. Leo's eyebrows shot up and he felt a wave of queasiness wash over him. He might hate Wendy, but he was not a dick. He had no wish to make her cry in the middle of a party or to kick her while she was down. He doubted his two snappy lines had been the culprit of such a reaction, but that didn't make him feel any better.

"Wendy, wait!" Leo shouted, leaving his champagne on the railing and rushing back inside, in hopes of catching up with her to apologize. For a woman in heels she actually ran quite fast. He didn't manage to catch up, always five feet behind the trail of her pink dress and despite the fact Leo was calling her name, she either didn't hear or refused to answer him.

"Wendy, please, stop running," Leo exclaimed, almost managing to catch up, but only because she froze in her heels and turned around.

He caught a glimpse of her face before Wendy was elbowing her way through people: she was openly crying now. Actual tears, her heart shaped face all red, mascara smearing. In the middle of a charity ball.

"Shit," Leo sighed, pushing his way through in order to grab her wrist, "Wendy, WENDY-"

"Hey!" Jonah's voice was naturally louder than his, more happy too. It was not directed at Leo, he was standing in front of Wendy and Leo immediately felt his heart plummet down to his stomach since he knew exactly how the scene looked like: Wendy crying copiously in the middle of a party while Leo chased after her, with a frown on. This looked great.

"Jon, this is not-"

Wendy's shoulders hitched with a sob, once, twice and then she said in a small, broken voice, "ex-excuse me-" pushing Jonah's chest out of the way as she stalked to the ladies room right ahead.

Jon was so shocked that he was easy to push, only snapping back into his senses as Wendy was already entering the bathroom. Jonah's hazel eyes were large, confused, and then his brows dipped into a furious frown as he took in Leo standing right there.

"You did not just make her sob in the middle of a party," he said coldly.

Leo shook his head, nervous, "I didn't! I didn't, I- I didn't do anything, I just-"

"What did you say to her!?"

For the first time since probably ever Leo saw what other people saw when they said Jon was scary. He took a step back, fighting the urge to shrink into himself.

"I didn't say anything!"

"Then why the fuck is she sobbing?!" Jonah leaned in, hissing the question since people were starting to stare at them. People such as Vince, who stepped closer with an uneasy, confused smile on.

"Guys...? Everything alright? You're causing a little bit of a sce-"

"Tell him," Jonah scoffed, crossing his arms, "go on. Tell him."

Leo gulped down, his own eyes burning, throat closing up, "I didn't mean- I didn't-"

Vince's confused smile slipped down and he glanced from Leo to Jon, then back to Leo, "what happened?" although his voice was much calmer than Jonah's, Leo felt even more panicked if that was possible. Jonah was pissed, but Vin? Vince would be heartbroken.

"I swear I didn't mean to make her cry," he said, words thick with the tears he was holding back, "I didn't even say anything, I just told her to get away-"

"Where is she?" Vince's voice was measured, his jaw tense, shoulders squared. Jonah pointed the bathroom, but didn't look at it or Vin, still glaring daggers at Leo.

"I'm going home," he said and the "I'm" instead of "we're" was enough to make Leo feel nauseous. Was he getting broken up with in the middle of a charity ball with everyone looking?

Jonah pushed past him, while Vince entered the women's bathroom, little squeals be damned, and Leo was left in the middle of the crowd, unsure of what to do.

He turned on his heels and followed Jon out, not to argue, only because he needed to get out of that place and he needed to reason with him.

Jon didn't look over his shoulder once, power walking through the parking lot towards his car. Leo's hands wouldn't stop sweating and he rushed to catch up.

"Jon," he grabbed his boyfriend's sleeve, "babe, c'mon, let me explain-" his stomach hurt when Jonah jerked away from him. He stopped next to the car, finally turning to look at him.

Leo could feel his tux jacket sticking to his back, "please let me explain... Please, Jon."

Jonah didn't say anything, only raised one single judgmental eyebrow and waited.

"I didn't say anything, I swear. I- She came outside and-" his stomach churned and Leo gulped against the nausea and panic, "and I told her to go away, but that- That-" he couldn't breathe. Leo attempted to suck in a breath, but the air felt like he went in through the wrong pipe, because immediately he was coughing, bracing against his knees as the champagne jumped up to his mouth and splashed between his shoes. Leo whimpered, head hanging, feeling thoroughly and utterly humiliated, "Jon..."

"You're a mess," Jonah scoffed, opening the passenger side of the car and holding the door open, "sit down."

He still sounded beyond furious, but at least he cared enough to do that. Leo groaned, staggering to the car and sitting down, still with his legs out of the car. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands and let out a sigh, before the tears sprung forth.

"I'msorry," Leo slurred, sniffling grossly and shaking his head, "I swear I didn't mean to make her cry and- And I was try-trying to apologize, I- Don't break up-"

"I'm not breaking up with you," Jonah cut him off sharply, glaring at him still, "and you are apologizing to Wendy."

Leo nodded, angrily trying to wipe the tears and failing when a new batch came forward as he thought of Vince's disappointed face, "I didn't want to hurt her."

Jon snorted, without a hint of humor, "yeah, right."

"I didn't!" Leo exclaimed, glaring at him, "she was already crying when I told her to go away!"

Jonah squinted at him, studying him for a long minute then his shoulders dropped, "she was?"

"YES!" Leo yelled back, his emotions getting best of him. He wiped his nose on his sleeve, "I don't know what happened!"

Jonah seemed to be working over this, mulling the words for a second... Then his jaw locked and he pointed at Leo, "wait here," he turned on his heel, walking back inside the party.

Leo let out a sigh, hanging his head and spitting in the gravel, trying to rid himself of the awful taste of bad alcohol. His head was throbbing, but the knot in his chest was easing up slightly. Jonah had no intention to break up with him and he believed him, even if he was still furious.

Leo rubbed at his eye, breathing in and letting it out in a measured manner, forcing his heart to stop trying to void via his mouth. There was a water bottle resting in the cup holder and Leo grabbed it, swishing the lukewarm water around in his mouth and spitting it out.

He needed to get himself together. Probably go after Jon and find Wendy and Vin, apologize properly...

Leo's head snapped up as he heard a commotion inside. There was a sudden influx of people out of the double doors and Leo stood up, shutting the car door and peering around the parking lot, towards the double doors that led to the jockey's ballroom.

This was... not good.

He completely forgot the fact his face was splotchy with tears and his mouth tasted like vomit, rushing back inside and trying to elbow his way through the people, that seemed more tightly knit together than before... Louder too.

"Stop it! I said STOP!" Wendy's voice cut through the noise and Leo finally managed to shove his head between two people, in time to see Jonah receive a punch straight to his jaw by some random stranger and Vince knock the guy out in one simple punch.

The man spun on his heel with Vince's punch and then stumbled, grabbing on a lady's shawl before falling down, joining a second guy on the ground.

"JoNAH!?" Leo exclaimed, managing to push past the people. Jon looked up, his nose was bleeding and he had burst his lip, but the murderous look from before had vanished.

"That's it, everyone here is going to the station!" a much older man yelled and the security guards approached them. Leo was beyond lost as he watched Vince and Jon sit down obediently, joining the two unconscious dudes, while the party emptied out.

It took almost an hour for him to get the full scope of the situation. Wendy's tears hadn't been because of him at all, but because the two unconscious dickheads were old acquaintances of hers from UPenn and had openly harassed her, using her deadname. Leo had only been salt to the wound.

She was in shambles, but still her voice was firm enough as she pulled the director of the Trans Youth Charity to the side and threatened to make very public what two of his donors had called her, if he insisted on pressing charges for public disruption and assault.

It was almost 1 AM by the time all four of them stumbled to the empty parking lot. Jonah nursing an ice block wrapped in a napkin to his mouth, Wendy's shoulders still shaking with silent, dry sobs.

"Get in," Leo sighed, holding the passenger door open, the irony not lost on him, "you're a mess."

It wasn't lost on Jon either, because he let out a little chuckle, before wincing when it pulled on his split lip, "Leo-"

"I don't wanna hear it," he slammed the passenger door closed, shutting Jon in and then turned around, to face Vince and Wendy, "you guys are going to be okay?"

Vince smiled, Wendy firmly wrapped in his arms and pressed to him as if he could and would fight anyone who dared step closer to her, "we're alright, kid... I'm sorry for earlier."

"You didn't do anything I wouldn't have done," Leo shrugged, then looked at Wendy, "I'm sorry."

She nodded, opening a tight smile, but didn't reply at all and Leo figured it was the best he was getting after being the final straw that caused the whole mess.

He circled the car and got in the driver's side, shutting the door and leaning in, resting his forehead to the steering wheel.

"Leo-"

"I already know," Leo sighed, pressing his forehead in with more force, "you're sorry, you jumped the gun."

"Yeah, I did. Badly..." Jonah sounded embarrassed, "I shouldn't-"

"I know," Leo interrupted him again, "did you at least knock out the first one?"

There was a surprised chuckle and then a timid, "yeah...?"

"Good," he sat up straight, pushing his hair back, "we're gonna call it even tonight. I made your best friend cry, you yelled at me and almost got us both arrested."

"Sounds pretty fucking uneven," Jonah said and Leo rolled his eyes, glaring at him.

"Do you want me to be pissed at you?" he said calmly, "because I'm too tired to do that. My head is killing me from all the crying."

Jon looked guilty, shaking his head, "I don't - You know I love her, right? Like, I truly do, she's the closest thing I have to a sister."

"You have a sister," Leo pointed out, but it was empty and bitter. He knew Jon's relationship with his ten year old sister whom he saw once a year didn't compare to what lied between him and Wendy, "I know, Jon," the blonde sighed, "... And I'm not saying I understand, okay? Or that I'm not jealous-"

"You don't have to be jealous, Leo. It's differ-"

"But I get why you acted the way you did tonight," Leo continued, ignoring Jon's reassurances, "now can we please go home? I want my bed and my cat."

"And your boyfriend...?" Jonah said timidly and Leo rolled his eyes.

"No," he shook his head, starting the car, "you can take the couch. In fact, you can take the couch the rest of the week."

(Read part 2 here)

#mywriting #sickfic #leo wagner #wendy marshall #crying #angst

35 notes · View notes