#she just craves affection and showing the people in her life how much she loves them

[mrsdesade]

Hey, could you write a homelander x reader where she works at Vought and unknowingly gets his attention and he stalks her?

Hi dear anon, thanks for your patience!! I don't have much time to write full fics these days, because life is happening and I'm very busy physically and mentally, but I can happily offer some headcanons 💕

Homelander's obsessive behaviors headcanons

First of all, his romantic gestures, while seemingly sweet, are often rooted in his need for control and his inability to understand healthy relationships. His actions can be seen as manipulative and even frightening, especially when considering his overall personality and powers.

Constant surveillance: He would employ his super hearing and x-ray vision to keep a constant watch on you. He might use these abilities to monitor your home, workplace, or any other place you frequently visit.

Data collection: He'd collect as much information as possible about his current obsession: you. This could include your daily routines, social media activity, and even your deepest fears and desires. He might use his Vought resources to access private databases.

Preserving memories: Homelander might keep a collection of items that remind him of you, like a lock of your hair or a piece of your clothing. Oh God If you gift something to him, he's going to cherish this like a museum piece.

Love bombing: He'll shower you with love and attention, he loves doing it, especially at the beginning of the relationship, to reel you in.

Unwanted gifts: Homelander would often leave small, often expensive gifts for his favourite persons in unexpected places. These gifts could be anything from flowers to jewelry, and they would always be personalized to show how well he knows you. Often with small notes inside. Doll, baby, my girl, nicknames are on plate.

Sudden appearances: Homelander would frequently appear where you least expects him. He might show up at yor work, your home, or even a random location you're visiting. At least three times at week, minimum.

Testing your loyalty: He might create situations to test your loyalty to him. This could involve putting you in a difficult position or asking you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Excessive praise: When you two are together he would shower you with compliments, often going overboard and making you feel uncomfortable. He might even compare you to other people, always putting you on a pedestal. You're his precious treasure and he loves you so goddamn much.

Isolation tactics: He might try to isolate you from their friends and family at some point, making you believe that he is the only one who truly understands your needs.

Future planning: He might make elaborate plans for your future together, down to the smallest details, without ever consulting you. He'll make grand plans for the two of you for sure. This could include things like buying a house together or having children.

Gaslighting: If you decide to start to question his behavior, Homelander might resort to gaslighting. He could make you doubt their own perceptions and memories, making you believe that you're just imagining things.

Public displays of affection: Homelander might engage in very public displays of affection, such as putting his arm around you in front of a crowd, or giving you a very long, lingering kiss. This is partly to show off his "perfect couple" image, but also to mark his territory.

Obsession with physical touch: Homelander might find ways to touch you, in every moment, he need that, even if it's just brushing against them or holding their hand. He would crave any form of physical contact.

Nightmares and sleep disturbances: His obsession for you would consume his thoughts, leading to vivid nightmares and difficulty sleeping. He might even develop a fear of losing you really easily. Despite his outward confidence, Homelander has a deep-seated fear of being abandoned. This fear can lead him to become increasingly possessive and controlling.

-------

Thanks again for the request, enjoy! Kisses kisses! 💕

[hopefulstarfire]

I always thought it was adorable how, when we see Yugi hug his grandfather, it's a full jump and he just patches onto him like a baby koala. It's sweet and adorable and I love Yugi. Honestly I wish we saw that with his friends too.

Now I'm thinking about Nana having that as a shared trait like when she gets really excited and it's somebody she cares deeply about. It'd be cute.

But uh the hilarious problem of that is is that Nana is the tallest Mutou.

At 6'3".

And she's not tiny. She's got muscle this girl works out almost every day.

Can you imagine her doing that to Solomon.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Do You Love?

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x wife!reader

Summary: Feyd is soft for his wife and only wants to know if she loves him. His wife just wants him to come home.

Notes/Warnings: fluff and a little angst and very light smut (still 18+), softy-soft Feyd, probably could do with a wedding prequel if people were interested, im sure there are typos. I think that's it.

Words: 1400

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist

He hates being away from you. Can't bear it. It takes less than two days for withdrawal from your lack of presence to settle in, and when it hits, it hits hard. The luminescence of your smile that threatens the darkness within him on his worst days; the delicate suppleness of your skin that introduced him to the softness and warmth of a human body; the specific quality and tone of your voice when you whisper and whimper and moan in his ear—he needs it. He needs you. He craves you until the second you’re in his arms again. He just wishes he could understand if you feel the same. He wishes he could know if you love him as much as he does you.

When you came into his life, you were a pawn for peace. A gift from one Great House to another. A reluctant bride who couldn’t choke back her tears on her wedding day. He’ll never forget the saltiness that lingered on his lips after the kiss that bound you to him forever. He can still feel the pang in his heart from seeing you finch when he guided the strap of your nightgown off your shoulder. 

It took ages for you to shed your fear; to allow him to hold you and kiss you and be inside of you, but those many months of ‘two steps forward, one step back’ have left him in a paralyzing state of identity crisis and uncertainty. You’ve turned him into a man who begs for scraps of reassurance that you care for him rather than a man who shows no mercy for love; a man so preoccupied with thoughts of his wife’s affection that not even his enemies are granted his full attention as he watches the light drain from their eyes. 

From the moment he leaves, he anticipates his return so you can quell his agitation, at least to some degree. The same words echo in his head each time he steps off a Harkonnen ship to search for you—hug me, hold me, kiss me, let my body inside of yours, tell me you love me—and in recent months you haven’t failed to do those things, with the exception of the last request. The day you tell him you love him will be the day he stops fearing you'll eventually grow bored with him. On that day, he’ll be happy, at peace. He’ll be unafraid of what his future with you will bring.

—

Reader POV

He often goes to Arrakis for a week or two, that’s not new. He must monitor things and fight Fremen when necessary. However, this time was different. There was something foreign in his eyes after he kissed your palm and boarded his ship to depart. Sadness? Pain? Worry? All three? You didn’t know, but it terrified you from how little he tried to disguise it. With each departure, it’s seemed his mood has worsened and you can't decipher its cause.

Now, ten days later, your fingernails are worn to nubs and dark circles have found home under your eyes from nightmares interrupting your sleep. They’re different every night but they always end with Feyd not coming home to you, and you don’t know how to cope. You tell yourself you’re crazy, that there’s no possibility of him being taken down with a Fremen knife or gobbled up by a sandworm or blown to bits from his ship getting shot out of the sky. He’s too smart, too quick, too trained for such things to claim his life. At the same time, however, the last person whose death you dreamt of was your mother’s, and while it’s rare your dreams are prophetic, that one came to fruition not five days later. Who is to say your dreams of your husband are not the same?

But you can’t lose Feyd, not when it feels like you just got him. When you married, your dread of navigating a new husband and life on Giedi Prime—both of which have a reputation for being cold and desolate and harsh—crippled your ability to see him for who he is. It’s only been the last few months that you’ve let yourself love and understand him, and you can’t imagine a reality in which you wake one morning knowing you will never have him again. You wouldn’t survive it. 

But you won't have to, because he's fine, perfectly safe—that's what you tell yourself. He told you he wouldn’t be away long and he wouldn’t say that unless he believed it, right?

Then again, believing he would be home soon doesn’t mean fate agrees. What if he's already gone? Wait, no. No, he wouldn't do that to you. He'll be home because he always makes it home. He’s fine. He’s safe. He would never leave you. You nod to yourself, swallowing hard. He’s fine. He’s safe. He would never leave. He’s fine. He’s safe. He would never leave.

--

Your body curls into the first touch of warmth you’ve had in a week and a half as a heavy weight rests in the dip of your waist and tugs you against a solid form. Plush lips ghost your temple. A heartbeat thrums in your ear and you feel the rise and fall of a chest. 

Oh, you like this dream. He’s so real in this dream. It’s the first dream where death is not at his heels.

“You don’t know how I miss you,” he mutters into your ear. Stands of your loose hair brush back from your face. “How unbearable it is.”

His voice is so clear, so beautiful and vivid that it’s almost like he’s really with you. Humming contently, you huddle further into him. “Then stop leaving me,” you mumble.

Breath catches in his chest, no longer moving at a steady rhythm. “You're awake?”

Your brows knit—that's not a very ‘dream-like’ question; it threatens your lovely illusion—and then your eyes snap open. 

“Feyd?” His nose is an inch from yours. Your hand raises to cup his cheek, just to see if he is real, and you gasp at how warm his skin is under your palm. “You're here,” you cry, quickly pushing him onto his back and crawling on top of him. 

You press your lips to his, hard. A whimper is pulled from your throat when he parts his mouth so you can get a taste of his tongue. Yes, he’s definitely real. 

Hands trail down your back to your ass, squeezing two handfuls of flesh and pushing your pelvis down onto his. He’s already hard and thick and pressing into you, the matching thin material of your nightgown and his sleep pants doing a pathetic job of maintaining any sort of barrier. 

Feyd slowly drags the ink-toned silk up the curves and dimples of your body until it pools at your waist. Fingers graze your skin as they move lower to slide through your slick bare folds, and at his touch, your brain goes absolutely fuzzy. You’re unashamedly desperate, refusing to take any longer to get what you need, but when you finally free him from his pants and he thrusts up into you, you both find yourselves stopping. The kiss breaks and you simply breathe in each other’s breaths as he stays nestled deep inside you. 

Your forehead falls to his. A fresh tear that you hadn’t noticed in your eye lands on his cheek. “You're ok,” you gently whimper, reassuring yourself of his safety. His nose nudges yours.

“When am I not?” he whispers as he catches the next tear with his thumb before it drops from your lower lashes. 

“In my nightmares.”

His brow pinches in curiosity, cock twitching within your walls. “You dream about me?” 

You lightly nod. “I thought this was a dream.”

“Why?”

“Because I had a sickening feeling you weren’t going to make it back this time. I know it was a routine trip, but I just couldn’t shake it,” you say. “And that would’ve killed me, Feyd. I love you.”

Feyd sucks in a short stream of air as his hips slightly buck up against yours. “You love me?” he repeats.

“Yes,” you exhale, riding the little high of pleasure that came from the sharp involuntary shift of his hips. “I was so scared to be right.”

Feyd's arms tighten around you and he tilts his chin up to connect your lips. Kisses travel along the line of your jaw and down the length of your neck. His tongue dips into the hollow of your throat. 

“I love you,” he tells you.

Your stuffy chuckle settles into a grin. “I know you do.”

---

tag: @avidreader73

[rick-rayson]

LUCY MACLEAN┊ DATING HCS

A/N: I'm back to feed my own obsessions hi hello beenaminit

NOTES: POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THE FALLOUT SHOW!! Though I tried to keep it very ambiguous

┊BEFORE DATING:

Let's be honest Lucy probably fell first, whether you're a Vault Dweller or Wastelander it doesn't matter. Despite the privileges of the vaults, Vault 33 has hardwired Lucy's brain to freely feel and act on emotions with vigor.

Having been raised in a meritocracy, Lucy believes the best way to win your affections is through active illustrations of her skills, knowledge, and attentiveness. Very much an acts of service person.

And very, very bad flirting.

"You're really well learned in enacting violence!"

"You're so good at- um- shooting. People."

"How's it going?" She asks as she leans on a rusted mailbox.

It breaks and she falls over.

Just. Really bad.

You're likely aware that she fancies you before she even realizes. She's not good at hiding her expressions at all.

Not so subtly checking you out or admiring you whenever you just, exist, tbh

Despite it all, she won't make the first move to save her life. Tiptoeing on the line of what ifs and what isn't. You're going to have to take one for the team.

┊DATING:

She's actually a huge loser

Absolute girl failure

She's trying so hard though

Proximity is a must. If you're dating Lucy, you quickly become fundamental to her sense of peace.

At first it's a bit much, being in the wasteland kind of messes up her sense of boundaries a bit in a desperation to have you as much as possible.

You have to remind her flat out that it is not, in fact, the norm to follow your partner as they try to find a private place to pee.

She's a bit of a freak honestly.

SOMETHING is up with her but she's so much nicer and kinder than anyone on the surface that you don't mind much.

Uses terms of endearment but sparingly, mostly in private.

You could wake up and look like a feral ghoul and she'd still look at you with a big smile like, "Hey Doll/Hun. Sleep well?"

Craves softness and physical affection but feels as though she cannot have it. Everyone is quick to tell her what kind of person she needs to be on the surface so she's hesitant to express her affections sometimes.

But the more you show her that your touch is not meant to harm, but to love, she'll reciprocate.

Pretty touchy, subtle mostly, a hand on your back, a hand rubbing your arm, tracing your palm with her thumb.

When you two first started dating she very shyly asked if she could place her sleeping bag near yours, you could only laugh.

Whenever she scavenges food (or anything even slightly digestible) she's always offering it to you first.

Sometimes she just craves a really good make-out. She's good at repressing whatever bullshit the wasteland throws at her but she's not about to say no to a make-out session.

Whenever she finds cool knick-knacks she gifts them to you. Pins, random comic books

"I found another Grognak book-! Oh, oh wait, no, no we've already read this one :/"

hats. Lots of hats. Neat hats.

"Well don't you look dapper?" She grins as she places a sun hat on your head.

Honestly depends on you a bit. Though she's aware of the fact the surface is dangerous, it's a different thing to have to experience it.

Tells you all about Vault 33 and what her childhood was like over campfire. You learn very quickly why she is the way she is.

She can be an easy person to sway so she honestly needs you as her rock, her bad cop if you will.

Most nights she'll only sleep if you sleep first, watching over you for a bit before indulging in rest.

Kinda just stares at you a whole lot, but she means well.

Will always be the first to elect to take care of you, and gets a bit possessive in that respect.

Almost completely tackled Maximus to the floor when you got hurt and raced to use whatever she had on hand. She does not care if it's the last Stimpak they have, she WILL do anything to make sure you're okay.

She cares for you so deeply, as you're likely her first ever love.

She falls first, and she falls hard.

Always fixes up your clothes before heading out or patting down your garments, It's a post-apocalyptic wasteland, no one cares about appearances, but you know that Lucy does it to retain a sense of normalcy for herself.

A little thing that she's good at is being persuasive, it's a subtle thing, but Lucy is acutely aware that sometimes batting her eyelashes or giving a pretty please can get her to where she needs or what she wants.

She most definitely uses it on you.

And uh.. NSFW headcanons?

SHE'S A FREAK!

AN ABSOLUTE FREAKZOID!!

That is all. c:

[ellatoone7]

Long day (Leah Williamson x reader)

It was getting darker earlier now, a sure sign that winter was nearing, that and the goosebumps littering over Leah’s tanned skin as it whipped through her hair, making the blood rush through her ears in the best way possible.

Winter trainings were always tough, the bitter cold stinging the defenders bright eyes making it nearly impossible to see the ball. It was all worth it though as she was enveloped by the warmth of her car and the thoughts of what was waiting for her at home.

Leah didn’t waste any time getting home, her playlist blaring as she hums gently to the lyrics that always reminded her of you. Leah loved football, it was a huge part of her life and she cherished every second of it, but, it didn’t come close to how much she loved you.

In fact Leah loved you so much that as long as she had you in her life, she would be content with never playing another match again. She didn’t fail to remind you of that every day, from waking you up with soft, loving kisses and breathless confessions of love that was so sacred to the both of you, all the way to the lazy evenings full of cuddles on the couch and whispered affections.

Leah craved those dark mornings tangled in linen sheets and soft limbs, so connected that you couldn’t tell where one started and the other finished. This morning for example, a rare day, where Leah didn’t have to get up at an ungodly hour, now that it was winter her trainings had been pushed further up in the evening, leaving the still mornings at her beck and call.

Strong biceps curled around your midsection, holding on as if you were some divine being that would disappear at the slightest loosen of her grip. The gentle breathing, that the defender claims eagerly is not snoring, though you would beg to differ, fans the back of your neck as the serene surrounding of pure adoration consumes the room fully.

That exact same fondness that paints the walls of your house welcomes the tired blonde back into its familiar structure. Leah’s home however isn’t slabs of concrete or treasured pictures littering every inch of the building, but it’s the comforting figure that she just knows is standing in kitchen, waiting for food to magically appear out of thin air.

Leah drops her kit bag next to the homemade shoe shelf Steph had made the both of you after Leah missed a match due to a single shoe and a rolled ankle. The blonde chuckled at the memory as she threw the keys into the designated bowel while heeling the front door shut.

“Babe?” Although knowing exactly where you were, she couldn’t help but be impatient as she hears the soft pattering of your fluffy socked feet. You smoothly slid into the corridor with the most prized worthy grin lighting up every inch of your perfect face.

Just like her previous actions, you did not waste a second, cupping her defined jaw and pulling her into a kiss that could mistaken the fact that Leah had only been gone for a few hours. The gentle tug of her hair pulled her back into the blissful reality that was you, her hands had found the place on your hips that they had been familiarised with for so long, pulling you in until the space between the both of you was nonexistent.

“Hi.” One simple word mumbled against her lips in a humour full manor, a breathless chuckle following from her own mouth as she peppers kisses against your flushed cheeks.

“God, people would think you’ve been gone for months with this greeting.” You chuckled as lips worshipped your neck, “We won’t tell people that it’s only been a few hours then.”

Her deep London accent was muffled as she placed one final kiss against the volume of your throat.

Foreheads met and eyes locked as you found comfort in each others space, “For what it’s worth, I missed you.” You couldn’t help but melt into her, nuzzling your cheek against hers while breathing her in, “I missed you too.” You pulled back slightly before continuing, “You know what else I missed? When you didn’t smell, go take a shower, Lee.”

A laugh bubbled up as you watched the defender scoff in offence, “Rude!” You nodded while wiping her sweaty strand of hair out of her face with a playful grimace. Leah swatted your hands away as she grumbled childishly, “Okay! okay, I get it.” The blonde started towards the stairs before turning backs around with an eyebrow raised, “Wanna join me?”

“As much as I would love to, I have some baking to do, so I will regretfully leave you to it,” Leah chuckled while solemnly nodding, you watched her slightly disappointed expression and decided to meet her halfway, “…but, I can offer you a kiss?”

Her blue eyes lit up again like they always seem to do when she’s near around you, leaning up on your tiptoes you pressed a timid kiss to her eager lips before quickly stepping back much to the tall blondes dismay. Her lips followed yours and you gave into her meeting her in the middle in a melting kiss.

Her sweaty stature was the last thing on your mind as you wrapped your arms around her neck, she slightly lifted you off the ground pressing you against her fully.

After what felt like a too small eternity, you gently stepped back, “That’ll give you something to think about.” She lightly groaned before quickly stealing one more kiss, “Don’t be a tease.” You giggled before pushing at her chest gently, “Go, get cleaned up and then get down here to help me with these stupid cookies.”

Leah smiled before putting her hands up innocently, she made her way upstairs with a satisfied sigh and you watched her go before heading back to the kitchen.

[2rats1gogh]

Same anon here with more- people need to stop conflating Aegon with Joffrey Baratheon.

Aegon has done some despicable things that I won’t make excuses for but he’s not the rabid dog that Joffrey was. Cersei, Tyrion and Tywin struggled to rein him in at 13 years old and once that crown was on his head a monster was let loose. Alicent can actually reason and get through to Aegon at pivotal times. Cersei could not do that with Joffrey.

Aegon above all craves Alicent’s approval and affection, he turns into a sniveling mess at Alicent’s scolding at his big age. Alicent is not afraid to tell Aegon exactly what she’s thinking. She doesn’t placate, pacify or coddle like everyone had to do with Joffrey because he was out of control, cruel AND stupid at the same time. Helaena is the most important person in the world to Alicent and Aegon is not going to harm the most precious thing in the world to Alicent. Helaena doesn’t have to fear Aegon bashing her head in with a rock or choking her after she has just had a stillbirth….

He called her an idiot at 14, yes it wasn’t nice but it was completely normal. At 14 I called my sister a cunt right across the dinner table, but I've also fought for that same sister. They are siblings and that interaction that made them seem more human as opposed to their 2 dimensional team black counterparts who always just smile and have kind words for each other- except when Jacaerys was beating the shit out of Luke on the beach, but no one is saying how miserable Luke was despite Luke actually seeming unhappy with parts of his life. He was even vocal about these things. Whereas Heleana who is a blunt speaker, has not said anything like that.

Helaena doesn’t look afraid of Aegon, she doesn’t look afraid of anyone in her immediate family (including Criston) as much as team black would like her to be. At the most Aegon ignores her, like she said. Honestly ignoring her is preferable to what Viserys was doing to Alicent. She had 3 children before she even reached 20. Aemond and Helaena are almost Irish twins. In the show Helaena and Aegon just have the twins who are maybe 4-5 years old, so Aegon is not forcing himself on Helaena.

We don’t know much about Helaena in the show because they decide to delete certain scenes and include other stupid filler scenes when they contain fan favorites…but Helaena in the book was happy. Her input towards the war was valued. She loved her children and everyone could agree she was a wonderful mother.

Her life isn’t perfect, there is no woman in that time period whose life is. Her husband is so far from perfect but that doesn’t mean Helaena lived a life of misery.

The book even says basically that Helaena died with Jaehaerys that night and Alicent didn’t kill Jaehaerys. That was Daemon Targaryen.

And when pointing the finger at Alicent, remember that she didn’t make Helaena on her own. She had a useless father who ignored her and her siblings her entire life. Viserys withheld his love from them out of some twisted loyalty to his first wife that he killed and his oldest child by this wife. These things would have a deep emotional impact on a person, it certainly has on her brothers. Stop letting Viserys off the hook.

(the way you called Joffrey a rabid dog omg I’m cryingggg😭😭😭😭 shxjskkzkvzlclwgzjpf)

but yeah, you are so so so right.

I hate it when people, mostly TB, compare Aegon to Joffrey. Like the ONLY two things they have in common is an ambitious (?) widow mother queen and also the fact that both aren’t very nice people. But that’s about it. Aegon at his worst doesn’t even come close to how horrendous Joffrey was on a regular day. Aegon never killed people for fun, he didn’t publicly humiliate Helaena like Joffey did with Sansa. And as I say, I am ignoring the fact that he’s a rapist because it was literally added out of nowhere, makes no sense, and has no relevance to the plot whatsoever. It was added purely to make Aegon and TG look bad. Canonically he is literally just a lazy alcoholic.

And I absolutely agree with what you said about Helaena. TB often say that “aLiCeNt MaDe HeR LiFe HeLl” but she literally didn’t? She would NEVER have her marry Aegon if Aegon was like Joffrey Baratheon. You can call Aegon every insult in the book, he was neglectful, he ignored her, he wasn’t really present in the lives of their kids, but he was NOT an abusive husband or father. And as you said, unlike Viserys, he never forced himself on Helaena. He wasn’t obsessed with the idea of having as many children as possible with her. Literally not at any point his nonexistent “abusive” behavior is shown, not even in the show. During the dinner scene Helaena literally jokes about her relationship with him, she seems comfortable and chill.

Sure, as you said, her life was far from perfect. In the books she does give birth at 14, in the show, since everyone is slightly older, she most likely was 16? Not that uncommon actually. She still had her mother, and her brothers, she has sir Criston. Aegon’s behavior was controlled by Alicent, so he would NEVER hurt her. If you remember how Alicent reacted to Aegon forcing himself upon Dyana (dumb scene overall but still) you can only imagine how she would react if he treated Helaena the same way.

[turvi]

Helloooooooo! I saw your clingy Severus fic, and absolutely loved it so muchhhhhhh!

If possible, could I request something a bit like the opposite? I would love to see Severus with an s/o who’s BEYOND cuddly, and will kind of just find him between classes (or whenever they can rlly) and just cling to him like a needy cat XD.

They won’t do it if he’s not comfy with it, but I could also see Sev melting if s/o would just cuddle up to him even if people are around lol

Ahh, thank you so much for this request. I am glad you loved the fic. I hope you enjoy it.

WARNING: HINT OF SEX (LIKE ONE LINE?)

Severus was returning back to his office for the lunch break. The students make way for the potions master. His ominous presence scares all the living souls present in Hogwarts. All except one.

His wife.

She waits in his office preparing tea for him. As soon as he enters his office the smell of cinnamon and tea fills his senses. He never liked the strong smell of spices. But he never even told his wife either. He wondered why. He would always look for opportunities to ridicule or critique people. But he could never do that to his Y/n.

His sweet Y/n. She is an angel really. But Godric it feels like she keeps making an excuse just to cling to him. But he doesn't hate it. No. Even though he doesn't show it he accepts the warmth Y/n has for him. He has been cold and lonely without her.

She feels like the spring that comes after a harsh cold. The kind of spring that mother earth celebrates. The kind of spring that brings out life.

As if on cue Y/n turns back and smiles brightly at his sight. He thinks she might be the only one who is this happy to see him. And he is thankful. And as expected before Severus could even greet her she took him in her arms.

Even after being together for Godric knows how long (because it feels like he has known her for his whole life), his heart still flutters when she holds him like this. He can only pat her back. And she gets it. It's his way of saying he loves her. He loves how she gets he is still not used to this type of affection.

As she busies herself in making tea for him again he remembers how she had unexpectedly shown up in his life. So full of love and life. He previously hated how bright she is. How she could find the good in the bad. Heck, she found something great in him hence she decided to spend her life with him.

He remembers how he would be annoyed at how clingy she is. How he would grumble and groan when she would hug him tightly. How he would frown and tell her she is constricting his breathing. But he wouldn't admit how he would look up at his office door every time it would open, expecting her. How it would break his heart to find it was someone else and not her. When she got sick and had taken leave for a few days..he missed the feeling..he craved it. How when he finally saw her he had to control himself from taking her into his arms then and there.

Like usual she put his tea on the coffee table and took a seat right beside him, nuzzling her nose in his neck. He shivered when he felt her breath against his skin and surprisingly his hands as if they had their own mind dragged her closer to him.

He didn't even pay attention to the tea sitting on his coffee table despite its strong smell. His onyx eyes focused on her. The sunlight seemed to have been glowing brighter as it hit her skin. He was almost afraid to touch her even though he had ravished her last night. He was afraid his touch would ruin something so beautiful like her.

He looked into her eyes. They always looked soft and kind. His touch is featherlight on her cheeks. She leaned into his touch even though it was light. His heart raced as she leaned into him, her eyes asking for permission.

He knew he couldn't love her anymore. His eyes teared up watching her still being respectful of his boundaries as if he will say no and she will still love him as much as she did on the day she met him.

He met her halfway and kissed her passionately. Y/n was surprised when she felt his arms tightening around her waist. She smiled at him as they broke from their kiss. He was slowly but surely accepting the kind of love she had for him.

A/N: I hope you like this. REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[azrielslightintheshadows]

can i please request something with eris x reader where reader is the sister of Rhysand and she’s secretly meeting him and they’re in love and mated. She becomes pregnant and her instincts wants her closer to her mate so she finds every excise to go to the autumn court, claiming that since eris is a new high lord they need to make good connections. Rhysand tells her to stay there for a month and she leaves. Thst one month she fakes letters to them and tells everything runs smoothly when she knows that eris wouldn’t ever declare war against his mates home. Eris hates that she’s not with him and they decide to tell the inner circle. They’re angry at first but them reader explains that eris and rhysand are the same, wearing a mask. So they accept him when they see how extremely protective he is of her, defending her when rhysand yelled at her. They’re accepted and leave for the autumn court for the baby where she becomes high lady👀

Everything is going to be okay.

Eris x f!Reader

Masterlist.

Warnings; angst, swearing, mentions of death, clipping, abuse and sex

Okay I was really excited about this. Thank you for the incredible request. I hope you enjoy it!

Velaris was your home, and it wasn’t just the beautiful and peaceful city that made it your home, it was the people there… your family. You had barely escaped death, your mother was able to hide you and you had watched her and your sister howling in pain as their wings were ripped from their backs, you were almost caught when they chopped off their heads making you throw up. The noise caught the attention of one of the males, but you quickly placed your hand over your mouth and nose keeping you silent. You only left your hiding place when you heard your older brother’s -Rhysand’s deep and soothing voice, you ran into his arms crying and screaming. Sometimes when you are feeling scared or sad you can still feel the ghost of his hands, engulfing you tightly and his warmth keeping you safe.

The trauma never faded, especially for Rhys… he became paranoid about your safety and at some point, he even locked you in the house of wind, warding it so only Cassian, Azriel, Mor, Amren and he could get in or out. When Rhys was trapped under the mountain everything changed, you became the ruler of the court of dreams with your cousin’s -Mor’s help. You both worked hard day and night to keep Velaris hidden and the people safe, you both felt that you owed this to your brother who so selflessly traded his life for your freedom and happiness.

Then Rhysand came back, and took control of the Night Court again, but this time he noticed how strong you became and made you his emissary. That’s how you met your mate, the heir of the Autumn Court, the prince. He had come to Hewn city to make a bargain with your brother, and the moment he stepped in front of your brother’s throne and his eyes fell on you on Rhysand’s right side the bond snapped. You sent him a thankful look when he didn’t say anything and later that evening he found you alone, trapping you between his strong body and the wall. He cupped your face and snorted.

“A princess for the prince” he had said with a smirk.

You knew you had to stay away from him, you knew that if your brother ever found out he would lock you in the house of wind again and probably murder your mate slowly and painfully. But you couldn’t, you immediately saw through Eris’ mask, you could see how his eyes softened when he looked at you and how his hand trembled by the power he used to keep it from touching you. He showed you so much respect and affection that at some point made you wonder if he really was Beron’s son. Other than that, his looks didn’t help with staying away, the Autumn heir is a sight for sore eyes. Strong and sculpted body, sharp face decorated with the most beautiful amber eyes you have ever seen and full lips that look so soft and biteable. You craved him, you wanted to devour him. Every night you would dream about him, about the things you wanted him to do to you and when it all became too much you pulled the bond and sneaked out to find him. You kept meeting him secretly and after a few months you accepted the bond, asking Lucien to put a glamour on you so your family wouldn’t smell Eris’ scent on you and making him swear not to tell anyone. Lucien kept his oath and covered for you when you sneaked out to find his brother.

It had been a year since you accepted the bond when two things happened at the same day. Rhysand helped Eris kill Beron and you found out you were pregnant.

Eris was busy with his new duties and the night court was on lockdown until they figured what your mate’s plans were, so sneaking out to find him wasn’t an option anymore and your pregnancy making you yearn for your mate wasn’t helping at all. You were completely frustrated, and your anxiety had reached its peak, you knew that your baby bump would be visible in a few weeks, and you dreaded your brother’s reaction.

“I can send Mor there its too risky for you” Rhysand used his high lord’s voice as he spoke to you. “Are you kidding me? You want to send Mor to the Autumn Court? After everything that she went through?” you threw your hands up in the air and yelled.

“She forgave Eris a long time ago” Rhys argued.

“Our court’s relationship with the Autumn is fragile, if you send your sister there it’s a message of trust and respect. After all I’m one of your most trusted emissaries, you know that I will never betray you.” Your face was red, you were so frustrated, and your body shook with need. Need to touch your mate, to be close to him, to feel his warmth and affection. Your baby needed its father, and you wouldn’t let it down.

Rhys rubbed his face and sighed. “Okay, you are right. You will go there for a month, I expect you to write to me every Friday and if you sense something wrong you will come back immediately.”

You smiled and ran to him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you! I won’t let you or our court down” you promised and hurried off to pack.

After saying goodbye to everyone you winnowed right outside of the Autumn court’s palace, Eris was waiting at the gates a smile on his face as he saw you.

“Finally, Rhys wrote to me three hours ago” he rolled his eyes and smirked.

“I had to pack” you smiled and shrugged.

He took your bags and guided you to your room. The moment the door closed and no one could see you, Eris threw your bags on the bed and picked you up, spinning you around and kissing your neck. “I missed you so much little fox” he murmured between kisses.

“I missed you too my lord” you replied, and he growled at the new title. His arms tightened around you and the kisses became bites. “How do you wish to be taken little fox” he breathed and carried you to the bed.

“Wait” you gasped as he laid you down and crawled on top of you. He froze and kept himself higher, not a single part of him touching you. You always loved how respectful he is whenever you tell him to stop or wait.

“I want to tell you something” you continued, and he tried to stand up. You quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him down on you. “What is it baby?” he asked and stared at your eyes anxiously.

“We are not alone” you smiled, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

He watched as your hand grabbed his own and placed it on your abdomen, pressing slightly. He blinked, realization hitting him like a brick.

“Are you?” he whispered.

“Your heir is in there” you replied, your voice soft and filled with love. “My heir…” he repeated, and his thumb caressed your soft skin.

You teared up at the feelings he was shoving down the bond, happiness, love, pride and fear.

“Everything is going to be okay” you reassured him.

“Does your brother know?” he asked after the initial shock.

“Not yet” you replied, and he nodded.

He pushed your shirt up and moved so he was on the same level as your belly, he left small kisses there. “I will always protect you.” He glanced at you “Both of you”.

You spent the rest of the day in your room with Eris making love to you and worshiping your body.

He left early in the morning not wanting someone to see him and you pressed your head on his pillow, needing to feel his warmth and scent. His words kept replaying in your mind.

“I can’t wait for your belly to grow.” “Fuck you’re going to be so beautiful.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 🍁 🍂 ☁️˙✧˖°

You spent the rest of the days exploring the palace, getting to know Lady Autumn and the people there. Every night Eris would sneak into your room and stay there until the morning. The first Friday you wrote a quick letter to Rhysand explaining that Eris is way too busy handling the problems in his court to even care about the other courts. He responded quickly “Okay be safe, I love you”.

You felt guilty for lying to him, but every time Eris would come and lay his head on your belly, talking to the baby and kissing your soft skin your guilt would turn into anger. How could your brother not see the mask Eris wore? They were practically the same. You shouldn’t have to hide your mating bond just because Rhys doesn’t want to see the truth.

Next Friday came and you went into Eris’ office asking for his help to write the letter.

Eris seems to want to keep the peace between Autumn and Night for now.

You wrote and sent it to Rhys. The reply came a few moments later.

Find out his plans for the future. You can do this, I believe in you. I love you.

You sighed and stared at your mate.

“You know that I would never attack your court, right?” he asked with a frown. “Yes but I can’t say that to Rhys, he will ask me how I know that… what will I say? Because he is my mate and I’m pregnant with his child? I’m going to give him a heart attack!”

“I know but he will find out eventually” Eris sighed.

“Eventually” you repeated and sat on his lap, hiding your face in his neck.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 🍁 🍂 ☁️˙✧˖°

The month passed way to quickly and Eris watched as you packed your bags with a sad smile. His eyes stayed on your covered baby bump.

“Okay, I think I’m ready” you announced, and he growled.

His eyes became darker, his stare possessive and the candles in the room flickered.

“No.” he yelled “Enough with this shit. You will stay here by my fucking side as my wife and the mother of my heir! If Rhysand has a fucking problem with that then I will start a fucking war!” his voice was lethal as he spoke. The primal need to protect his mate and child taking over. You had never seen him look so feral and you took a step back.

“Baby calm down… please” you softly said.

“I can’t stand this anymore y/n. I want my mate by my side.”

“Okay then come with me. We can tell them together.” You offered your heart breaking by the sadness in his eyes.

He nodded and took your hand. You winnowed to Velaris and dropped in the house of wind. Eris glanced around curiously, and you both walked inside.

Cassian, Azriel and Nesta were sitting in the dining room all of their eyes widening as they saw Eris.

“What is he doing here?” Cassian growled while Azriel’s eyes unfocused, you knew he was calling Rhysand. Eris snorted but didn’t speak as you squeezed his hand.

You ignored Cassian and pulled Eris with you towards the table, you both sat down next to each other and waited.

“Y/n I asked you something” Cassian spoke again and stared at you.

“And I didn’t reply.” You shrugged “I’m waiting for my brother -your High Lord”.

Everyone kept staring at the two of you, Cassian and Azriel were gripping their daggers ready to attack if Eris made a wrong move. Your mate had a bored expression on his face, completely ignoring the two Illyrian warriors. His hand was holding your own tightly and his thumb was rubbing soothing circles.

Rhysand appeared a few minutes later with Feyre, he scowled when he saw Eris and moved gracefully to the chair at the head of the table. A statement.

“What’s going on?” he asked as everyone took a seat around the table, their eyes never leaving you and Eris. “Eris is my mate” you announced.

Feyre and Nesta gasped while Rhysand let a low growl.

“We found out the day he visited Hewn City to make the bargain with you. At first, we kept our distance, but the bond was so strong that I sneaked out to find him a few days later. We’ve been together ever since.”

You could see hurt flashing into Rhysand’s violet eyes and you sighed.

“No!” Rhysand snarled “I won’t let my sister get involved with a monster. His father abused his mother daily, and what do they say? Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?”

Eris was seething and you stood up abruptly. “Are you serious right now? I didn’t expect you out of all the people to be so blind. Can’t you see that everything he does is a façade? You do the same fucking shit every time you visit Hewn city. Guess what… Eris doesn’t have a dreamy court where he can stay and be himself, he has to wake up every day and wear the fucking mask in order to keep his court from falling apart!” You were screaming so loud that your face became red and all the veins in your neck popped.

Eris cursed under his breath and got up too, he wrapped his arm around you and cupped your face with the other. “Can someone get her some fucking water?” he growled, and a glass appeared in front of him. “Its okay little fox, calm down” he whispered in your ear, leaving a kiss on your temple as he pushed your shoulders down making you sit.

“Rhysand” Eris spoke “I don’t care about your opinion, she is my mate and the laws of Prythian allow me to claim her, I’m only here because I care for her, and I don’t want her to lose her family.”

Rhysand scoffed. “I don’t care about the stupid laws, all the other High Lords will stand by my side. They will understand that I want to protect my sister.”

“Not when she is carrying my heir” Eris smirked.

“What?” your brother yelled and got up. His dark power was flowing into the room making you shiver. Cassian and Azriel jumped on their feet ready to support their High Lord.

Eris growled and a shield of fire appeared around you, leaving him defenseless against your brother.

Rhysand stared at the scene in front of him, he could see the worry in Eris’ eyes, not for his self but for you. He saw how your arm stretched to grab your mate and the shield pushed it back.

“Do you love her?” he asked.

“More than my heart can handle” Eris responded immediately, not a hint of hesitation.

“Do you love him?” your brother glanced at you. You nodded and let the tears flow.

“Do you swear to keep her safe and happy?” he asked Eris.

Your mate nodded and you saw a small tattoo appearing behind his ear. You watched as the rest of the inner circle nodded and relaxed.

“Okay. If I find out that you mistreated her in any way, I will let Azriel find you and do as he please”.

Eris scoffed. “You are welcome in my court to participate in the ceremony”.

Your mate paused and looked at you “I’m going to swear her in as my High Lady” he continued with a soft smile. You almost choked on air and stared at him with wide eyes.

Everyone smiled at that and suddenly the shield of fire dissolved and Eris offered you his hand.

You both walked out and you glanced at Rhysand one last time.

“ We will be there” Rhysand said.

Everything is going to be okay indeed.

I have received 11 requests and I'm so happy but also stressed. Please excuse any delay my poor brain can't make so many stories in one day!

[estro-gem]

Jax x Ragatha: The snake and the water spring

The Amazing Digital Circus AU: Oasis.

Author's note: I found this show by chance and I took a great liking to it! So now I did a thing, instead of studying for upcoming exams, because I love making things difficult for myself, apparently.

I have no idea what the fandom is like, but I'm playing it safe just to be... well... safe. I just loved the concept of this show so much that I couldn't help but be inspired by it! It got me thinking and I let it all out in this... thing.

I want to write more one-shot fics about the other characters and how they fit into this au too, but I don't know when I'll be able to.

WARNING! None of these characters are mine and everything mentioned and described is purely made-up fiction; inspired by works that are not my own. Nothing should be considered canon or taken seriously - we are all here to have some harmless fun! No age restrictions. I think this might be appropriate for all ages...?

Please show some love and support for Gooseworx; the creator of The Amazing Digital Circus!

I definitely butchered Gooseworx's characters by adding unnecessary 'relationship dynamics' and deviating from their original personalities. I promise that the actual show and characters are so much better than they are in my false portrayal of them.

SUMMARY:

A fanmade take on the events following Pomni's arrival and after the crew had dinner together. This is focused on Jax's point of view, but still written in the third person.

Jax confronts Ragatha after the pilot episode's 'dinner' and does his best to comfort her in a way that works for them. That's it.

Please enjoy!

THE SNAKE AND THE WATER SPRING

Jax was a desert snake.

Nothing but a cold-blooded pest that lived to find his next meal.

When one is left to die under the scorching sun, you can’t stomp on the sun for creating a desert, but you could stomp on the desert snake if it added to the pain of surviving in said desert. The Digital Realm was nothing but a desert sun – a cage with no exit and an evil with no target.

It was no secret why so many had lost their minds here.

Jax took on the role of being the snake. It was never announced or planned, but it was deemed necessary by all who came to know the realm. The inhabitants of The Amazing Digital Circus craved any sense of control; something they could hold accountable for their torment – something they could punish. A menace, parasite.

Evil with a target: Jax.

It was fun to act out while everybody went about their lives. He could unapologetically be the worst being known to man and thrive on the rage and hatred of all he had affected. If they hated him, he was fulfilling his role perfectly… and that meant they could stay sane and do their parts as he did his. Less people would be lost to insanity… and the group would grow stronger.

Everyone had a role in their system – an oasis was established, with Ragatha as the heart of the oasis; their very own water spring.

But when a new invading creature bursts into the oasis with no knowledge of this system, their system would be doomed. Pomni happened to be that invader. Everyone could collectively, yet silently agree that she was acting by her own careless devices since she arrived a few hours ago. She greedily soaked up their water source and left it barren, dry, and suffering.

Granted, Pomni didn’t know how their oasis worked, but it didn’t change the fact that she disrupted everything by showing up. She would have to catch on quickly and prove herself useful, before anyone else loses their minds.

They lost one of their own already… and they almost lost their beloved Ragatha; Jax’s equal and opposite.

Their precious water source.

Snakes offered venom, while water springs offered hope of life. They all desperately needed Ragatha to survive. While most would assume her to be fine after being fixed by Caine, Jax knew better than that. He saw her reluctantly stand aside Pomni to support her – beautifully acting within her role as she always would, but it was clear that Pomni still didn’t understand how scarce the water was by then. Rags was spread thin enough by handling the extra stress and enduring the continuous pain of being corrupted by the abstraction, but that didn’t stop Pomni from practically having a mental breakdown at the dinner table.

Jax saw that coming from a mile away. Thank goodness he silently took the open seat next to Pomni, silent in his insistence that the ragdoll should keep her distance for the time being. He’d give anything to destroy the little jester for abusing his doll. Ragatha was acting perfectly normal at the time – her masked smile perfectly set on her face – until it was time for them all to retire to their respective bedrooms.

Jax wished that he would’ve just dragged her after him when he booked it from the abstraction earlier today. Pomni would have been the perfect distraction for them to escape and get Caine.

He stood at Ragatha’s door after dinner.

Jax made a point to ring the doorbell this time. Usually, he’d just pluck out a key and saunter in like he owns the place, but with what happened today, he’d make an exception. Everyone has their limit – and someone has already reached their limit today. They couldn’t risk losing another one. Especially not Raggs. They all really needed her.

When she didn’t open, he tried the bell again. Nothing.

Well, time for the key, then.

He shoved his hand down his front pocket and fished out the doll’s room key. The bunny didn’t waste time opening the door. He wanted to see what state the girl was in, despite dreading the possibility of finding an abstracted amalgamation on the other side.

Silence.

Not even a creak was heard from the hallway. The room was lit up as it usually was, so that was a good sign, at least. Jax couldn’t see an obvious black body of eyes – another win. But where was Ragatha? He did see her walk into her room, so she had to be here.

He walked around, keeping his cool, casual composure fixed, despite no one being around. It was effortless at this point. It became a way for him to focus on what he could control in this crazy digital prison; himself.

He couldn’t, however, control his ability to spot a blasted ragdoll, it would seem. He scanned the room again, until his eyes fell on her ¾ bed. Could she-?

The bunny rolled his eyes at himself as he lowered himself onto his knees – maybe he could convince himself that he was not phased by the situation. Bending down, he peered beneath the bed frame.

Jax sighed in exasperation. Or was it relief? Both?

Ragatha was in the state she was in before retiring to her room. No gliching, no extra eyes.

Just Raggs.

She didn’t look good, though. The doll was curled up beneath her bed and blindly staring ahead of her. It didn’t look like she was breathing – not that they needed to anyway, but it was uncanny to see Rags like this. She was their voice of reason. She was a water spring in this desert.

If she dried up, their desert would be doomed.

Jax silently stood up and walked back to the open door again. No need to make a fuss over this. He took hold of the door handle and shut it from the inside. Key in hand, he locked the door and nodded to himself. Ragatha needed a raincloud… and he’d have to fill that role now. It’s the least he could do after leaving her to fend for herself when they found the abstraction today.

Why didn’t she run with him? Why did think she could fix someone whose mind was broken beyond repair? Why didn’t she just leave the rookie as bait?

Because that just wasn’t her role, was it?

If it weren’t for her nature – her role – none of them would have made it this far. It dawned on Jax, once again, how close they were to losing their beloved doll. How close they were to being stuck with an invader who knew nothing about what it took to survive in this hell hole.

Enough.

Back to the bed, crouched down and silent Jax positioned himself to lay down and simply look over the red head from a relative distance. There was enough space for the doll to crawl out of hiding without having to touch him. The bunny still hadn’t said a word. It’d be stupid to talk, and he didn’t feel like making the effort. He just wanted things back to normal again – well… as normal as it could have been.

Now Kaufmo is gone, a new creature was invading their home, tearing it up from the roots and tipping the delicate scales of the balance they worked very hard on creating. All because of a lunatic ringmaster having the bright idea of creating a fake exit-door. Someone better get that jester on a tight leash to get her to fall in line, like the rest of them were forced to.

He knew he, for one, wouldn’t mind roughing her up a bit. It was his specialty – his role. The parasite. The menace. The instigator.

Evil with an actual target.

The sound of shifting and movement had Jax blink out of his own head. Ragatha was slowly and dumbly making her way out from under her bed. Her eyes were still fogged over and her face still eerily blank, but at least she came out of hiding out of her own will. In a matter of seconds, the doll was out from her hiding place and settled on the floor beside Jax. She was staring him in the eyes now, waiting for the bunny, silently pleading.

Jax hadn’t had his aloof-douchebag persona engaged since he locked Ragatha’s door. She didn’t need a menace now – she needed to be grounded; revitalized. She needed a dark raincloud to fill up the water spring they all needed.

He didn’t look forward to what needed to be done, but he wouldn’t allow anyone else to do it.

He moved to stand up and held out a hand to help her up. He took note of the way her hand was shaking when she took his and gently guided her to the bed. The red head was the first to sit, then moved to lay down on her back and numbly stare at the ceiling. With a deep breath, Jax gathered himself mentally and cautiously crept onto the bed and positioned himself to briefly hover over her, before lowering his full weight onto Ragatha.

He had his head in the crook of her neck, on the left shoulder with his ears folding back to floppily droop to his upper back… with his left hand resting on the opposite shoulder. His body, although slim, enveloped hers and caused her to sink slightly into the mattress. His legs just loosely laid over and aside the ragdoll’s. It was more important to have his weight resting on her torso anyway.

For a long moment, they just motionlessly laid on the bed like this. To an outsider, it would look like they fell asleep atop each other or simply cuddled together very closely.

An outsider wouldn’t see that Jax was focused on the slow process of Ragatha’s body relaxing under his weight and her breathing slowing to a regular rhythm. An outsider wouldn’t have known that this was hardly the first time they’d done this – how long it took Jax to learn that this make-shift deep-pressure therapy was the most effective grounding technique for Ragatha to collect herself again.

They wouldn’t understand that Jax didn’t do this out of wanting to, but rather out of necessity.

Jax didn’t like to be touched. If anything, he was very capable of merely tolerating it. Everyone in the circus knew that he was touch-averse; some even used that as leverage to mess with him if the situation called for it. It was a necessity that he endured to keep his doll sane – to keep anyone of importance here in the circus, sane. Their whole lives revolved around mental strength. It was all just a matter of staying sane.

The laid there for what felt like a lifetime.

Slight shifting beside Jax alerted him that the doll was moving her arms – previously stiffly pinned to her sides. This was good, she felt comfortable enough to move around now!

Her left hand gently snaked up to the bunny’s head and slowly, softly petted his ears in a longitude motion. Her right hand wrapped loosely around his middle-to-lower back – motionless. This was bad, Jax did not like being touched like that!

While he was fine with the rhythmic touches of Ragatha’s left hand, he despised the idle position of the right hand resting on his back. He couldn’t prevent himself from tensing up in discomfort.

Bad touch, bad touch, bad-

This caused the ragdoll to tense up and rip her hands off him as if he burned her.

Oh no you don’t! We are not starting all over again.

He slowly pulls away and propped up unto his elbows, hearing Ragatha’s breathing pick up as she presumably spirals into her own thoughts on how he was going to leave her like this. Jax cast down a disapproving look. He broke his gaze to unceremoniously take her right hand – now clutched close to her chest – and intertwined their fingers, before resting his head on her left shoulder once again. He close eyes as he use his free hand to put her left hand on his head again, waiting for her to resume her petting.

Good touch; this was a good touch. Please understand.

Thankfully, Ragatha relaxed… and continued her previous slow, rhythmic motions. Slowly, Jax felt her relax once again and he indulged into her need for touch by stroking his thumb over hers occasionally.

Soon they fell into a rhythm; Ragatha would pet Jax’s ears 3 times, then it was his turn to stroke his thumb over hers. Then they would repeat the routine. This also helped Jax cope with the touching; the routine. The rhythm.

It felt like hours ticked by as the two just practiced their little unspoken routine. Jax grew used to it after a while, almost forgetting that his new mattress was now a sentient ragdoll and completely tuned into their rhythm of touches.

Pet… pet… pet… thumb. Pet… pet… pet… thumb.

Jax didn’t like touch, but he loved routine.

The doll and the bunny’s time together, once nothing but grounding techniques, grew to become an intimate exchange of touches and caresses – all wrapped in a routine, like a dance. Jax felt warm and fuzzy inside; for once he basked in the moment of enjoying his dolly. He lazily wondered if Ragatha felt the same. He shifted his head to look at her.

The doll looked down to meet his eyes when she felt him move. He could swear that she looked at peace, basking in the bliss of their closeness. For some reason, she looked like an angel. They all saw her as their angel. Had he successfully pinned a heavenly body beneath him?

Her gentle, longing gaze made a kaleidoscope of butterflies erupt from his core.

This wasn’t the first time this feeling invaded his being when they did this – as rare as these moments were. He wasn’t sure when he started experiencing such feelings during these rare encounters, but as months crawled by, he felt drawn to his dolly more and more. Based on how she looked at him, he could only assume that she felt it too.

Something so foreign, yet so familiar.

He didn’t fail to spot the warmth rushing to her cheeks when their eyes met. She looked so ethereal beneath him, especially when her breathing picked up under his firm gaze. Her lips were parted, and her eyes were lidded. This time, it wasn’t fear or overstimulation. It was anticipation. It was desire.

Jax internally flinched at the tingly sensation when he smoothly burrowed his face into Ragatha’s neck. She shivered at the breath he let out against her skin. He could tolerate the touching a little longer, as long as he could see her crumble again. He wanted to see her walls crumble again.

“Jax- ”

Oh… he had to hear her again. More clearly, next time. This was torture, but she made him into her own personal masochist. His skin crawled at the sensation of her skin shivering against him, but he needed more. He could take it. Just a little longer – he just had to stand these sensations a little longer. He looked at her again.

Ragatha was reverting to a helpless puddle. The doll’s arms were gripping at the covers beneath her, successfully eliminating the bother of excessive contact that he despised. Jax didn’t know if she did it with that intension or without thinking, but either way, he was thankful. He really wanted more.

Why couldn’t he just be normal?

He lifted onto his elbows again and – dare one say – lovingly looked at her face. She could only peek back at him, breathing slightly faster than usual. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shaky hand rise from the covers and hover next to his cheek, while her eyes pleaded for his mercy. He hesitated but bit the bullet to comply; leaning into her touch while desperately trying to ignore the odd tingles. Jax convinced himself to kiss her wrist and drowned himself in the pleasure of hearing her softly call his name.

He only heard it because he was listening so closely for it.

Yes.

DING DONG

In a flash, Jax braced himself up into a crouch and slammed his foot down with a mighty THUMP upon hearing Ragatha startle into a fit when the doorbell chimed. His hair on his back stood on end and his claws ripped through his gloves, leaving gouges in the covers beside the doll’s head.

His precious doll was disturbed again!

He heard her soft cry of fear and his blood boiled with a thirst for vengeance. Only he can make her cry out. He’ll skin the soul that dared to-

“Ragatha…? Can we talk?”

That DAMN jester!

“Jax?” a quiet voice trembled in his ear from beneath him. Jax stopped glaring at the door to softly glance down and see what his little doll wanted.

“Don’t…” Raggs sounded like she was begging while being held at gunpoint, whispering despite their rooms being enchanted to not hear anything from the outside when the door is shut.

Jax wouldn’t dare let that thing inside. Raggs was upset enough as it is.

“Look, I know it probably wouldn’t make a difference…” Pomni’s voice came from the other side door again, “…but I’m so sorry for running off… Again… I saw that exit and I had to see if it was real. No one else believed me and I started to think that I was losing my mind. You understand that, right?”

Jax placed both his hands down on the mattress, blocking the doll’s view of the door as if it could block the sound of the voice from reaching the Raggs’s ears, still hovering over her. He knew that his dolly didn’t want to hear anything the harlequin had to say now – he had half the mind to get up and bash the newbie’s head in.

“I hope we can talk about this some time. You are probably tired after such a long, crazy day.” Pomni’s voice died down near the end, “It feels like you’re the only good person here.”

She really is, but she’s too good for you. Selfish leech.

Jax looks down to the girl, still stiff as a board beneath him. Her eye was shiny with the swell of tears. He melted at the sight – anger simmering down. She was just a sweet little rag dolly, she didn’t deserve any of this, but oh, he was so happy to see Ragatha finally emote something again. She was OK again. Their water source was filled once again, now threatening to spill over. He’d happily welcome the flood.

He needed her.

The sound of fading footsteps causes Jax to rip his eyes to the direction of the door. His hearing was better than the dolls, probably thanks to being a rabbit.

Good riddance.

Ragatha seemed to relax at the sight of Jax deflating his stance, reading that Pomni probably left her door. She hesitantly reached up to cup Jax’s cheek. Jax followed her hand’s motion and scoffed, cringing at the invasion. He’s had enough touching for a week. It sucked to leave his doll so soon after being distressed again, but he couldn’t bring himself stand any more of this. He quickly got up and smoothed out his clothes, but not without missing the flash of hurt in the doll’s eyes. He felt bad, but he had to be strong with the new girl around, so straining himself now would only make matters worse and mess up the whole system.

Still, seemingly bored, Jax stood in his spot while rocking on his heels and looking off to the side, only sparing her a glance. Raggs sat up by then. She looked a little worse for wear, but it’s an improvement from hiding under her bed. She rested her elbows on her knees with her chin in her hands. The hurt in her eyes was long gone, but she looked tired. Poor thing, Jax shared the sentiment.

He felt her eye bore into the side of his face and the bunny couldn’t stop himself before he rolled his eyes and looked to her again. He could’ve choked on air when he saw her face, but the years of steeling his demeanor left no trace of his inner turmoil.

Raggs sported that longing look in her eyes again.

They were so close this time – closer than they’ve ever been before. Each time they spent together on nights like this, although few and far between, they grew closer… and hungrier. Neither understood what it was, but they never had the chance to just collapse into it, tonight being the closest to that.

But there was always something, right?

Jax allowed gaze to soften. His doll offered a small smile that almost ripped his heart out if his chest. It was drenched with melancholy of something she knew they could never have.

Because their roles in their little ecosystem didn’t allow for it to ever be theirs. It would never work.

This was survival.

The rabbit steeled his demeanor once again, but this time, his doll’s face didn’t fall.

Good, as it should be.

Jax walked to the door and fished out the key from his front pocket. He didn’t bother looking back. If he did, he wouldn’t have the will to leave anymore. When he opened the door, though, he couldn’t help but mumble out teasingly.

“See yah later, Doll~!”

He wished that he could shout his affections for her out into the void instead.

“I’m not your doll.” Ragatha responded, voice still wobbly and tired, but perky regardless. She knew just how to indulge him.

Yes, she is… she always will be.

Fanart: Evil with a target

Oasis: TADC AU list

Masterlist

[seireitonin]

Grlll imma need some moreJeff content. Idk what exactly but I need it, maybe some romantic/ normal headcannons. Whateva u do I will rlly appreciate it and love it

Omg my first boyfriend ever, Jeff!!!! I’m starting to love him all over again he’s so nostalgic! Anyway in no specific order here are more hcs for him! I used Nina as an example of how he views/ thinks of being in relationships (once again I hc Nina as black)

Jeff is 30 years old

Him and Toby were born the same year but Jeff is a little older

Despite what everybody thinks Jeff is capable of love

But his love isn’t normal or kind

His love is intense obsession and admiration in a way

For example in his own way he really did love Nina

But he’s just such a bad person that he couldn’t or rather refused to properly show it

He admired the was she threw her life away for him he admired the way she was willing to let him run her life for so many years

He was obsessed with her in his own way, the way she worshiped him making him feel like he was above everyone

Nina left him after coming to her senses though, and he constantly plots on how to break her down and get her back, despite being with Toby now

He is very protective over the people he cares about though

Willing to kill anyone who even makes them feel slightly bad

His obsession will make him very possessive

Why would you need anyone but him anyway? He’s literally Gods gift to Earth

You should be happy he loves you this much

He’s very smart with his words and actions

He’s very calculating and cunning

Part of this manipulation to make people stay is because he actually does crave genuine connection in his own way

He just doesn’t know how to do that

He’s always been rude, antisocial, blunt and self serving

All that being worse now that he’s a murderer

He can’t ever change. Not that he wants to

So instead of trying to change he’ll just use his smarts and tactics

He loves the way he is why should he have to change for anyone?

He still thinks of Nina even though he won’t ever admit it

He remembers the nights he’d hold her close and he’d feel her warmth

He remembers how he’d get her small things for her birthday and how her face would light up, shocked that he even remembered

“Hey, got you something”

He throws it towards her

“Jeff! Brass knuckle necklaces?! I love them! How’d you get these!”

“Killed their original owner. You’re welcome. You don’t know how hard it is to find people with shitty taste like yours.”

Nina doesn’t even care about the insult as she excitedly tries on her new jewelry

He remembered how they’d encourage each other toxic and self destructive self serving behaviors

“Wanna rob that Hot Topic?”

“Yes!!!”

“Okay let’s go stab someone so the rest run and we can raid the place.”

“Yay! I love you!”

“I love me too”

He remembers how they were partners in crime together

He misses her smile and bubbly personality

He remembers how Nina would do what he said because they loved each other the same way

Deep obsessive admiration and impulsivity

He remembered when they kissed for the first time

It was rare that he showed affection to her or touched her at all but when they did it solidified in his mind that she was given to him by God himself. He deserved her. She was made for him.

He’d never felt so right. He never thought anyone would make him feel the way she did. She’s perfect to him. Even though he’d never say that. Can’t have her thinking that they’re on the same level

Some nights he’d just stare at her while she slept, touching her skin that felt just like his. Even leaving soft, bloody kisses on it.

He’d only do this when she slept, not wanting her to see him vulnerable or affectionate at all.

“So beautiful. Just like me. Just the way I made you.” He’d say as he traced the permanent smile on her cheeks and her burned dark golden brown skin

God he hates Toby for taking that away from him

Nina and Jeff were perfect together in his eyes

He hates Toby for telling her different and showing her stupid healthy love

Toby took away Nina, Jeff’s God given right.

He should’ve killed Toby when he had the chance

Nina started becoming more “boring” the moment they started talking with each other

Then one day she fought Jeff and left him completely

He should’ve killed Nina too

How could she do that to him? She was his in every sense of the word

He made her

Made her to be just like him

But Toby told her that was “manipulation” and took her from him

He hates them both and is plotting revenge every day

He was actually really close with Toby

So he feels betrayed by 2 people he cared about

His face is severely infected because every time his scars start to heal or close, he opens them right back up

They only get more beautiful each time in his eyes

His hair is long and goes to his mid back

It’s tangled and messy and unkept

Listens to metal music a lot

Actually gets some ideas about how to kill from metal music’s lyrics

Knows Liu is alive

Has mixed feelings about it

On one hand, he loves and misses him

On the other he sees Liu as a failed job of his and finds it insulting that he’s still alive

So he just avoids him until he can’t anymore

“Hey brother, remember me?”

“How could I forget the only person who I failed to kill?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jeff”

“You’re making me blush, Liu”

They still banter and talk to each other like brothers

They both missed it

They’re the only family they have left

So both hesitate to kill each other

That doesn’t stop them from beating each other up though

Jeff is scared of fire, even though he will never admit it

His skin has healed pretty well over the years

But it’s still not super smooth

Is good friends with Clockwork

They talk shit about Toby and Nina

Who would’ve thought their exes would be together?

Wants her help getting revenge, but Clockwork doesn’t want to hurt Toby

Jeff calls her weak for it

Jeff likes her company a lot, despite that

Part of him wouldn’t mind being with her

She’s brutal, strong, street smart, and pretty

He sees a lot of himself in her and that’s probably why he likes her so much

There’s no one Jeff loves more than himself

Once you get used to him Jeff can actually be a pretty cool friend

He loves to smoke and drink

Used to smoke with Toby before everything happened

Offensive and dark humor

Which is why him and LJ get along sometimes

Jeff is actually extremely loyal

If Nina stayed he would’ve been by her side forever

He feels stupid for caring about her and being so obsessed with her and admiring her

Jeff is 6’2

He smells like blood and beer

He’s pretty skinny

His eyes are dark blue like an ocean which would be pretty in a normal context but on him it’s pretty unsettling

His hips are always swollen but also thinned out because of the permanent smile stretching them outwards so it’s uncomfortable to look at

Jeff’s wardrobe is very simple

Plain black or white shirts, black pants and a random hoodie

Big hands perfect for delivering hard hits to victims and the other pastas he fights

If you were ever gonna be with him you have to accept that what you want and your feelings come second to his

Jeff isn’t a good person by any means

But but he doesn’t care

He knew he was a bad person for years and he’s done hiding it or trying to change

[xoxomoonlightxoxo]

Like a Hostage | Prologue

𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

“They hate me, don’t they?” you sigh in defeat, hesitant to look back at your boyfriend whose fingers have gently intertwined with yours. Standing outside his childhood home you hoped for tonight to end differently, preferably with less undertones of passive judgement. 

“They hate everyone, so I wouldn’t give it much thought,” Jungkook assures with a sly grin, wrapping his arm over your shoulders as the two of you walk down to his car. 

“But they’re your parents, Koo. Don’t you want them to like me?” you turn to face his lowered gaze, hands on his chest as your back presses against the door frame. 

“Trust me, y/n. I’ve been fighting for their love my whole life. So, no. I don’t really care what they think.” he snickers before noticing the pout on your lips. 

“And anyways, isn’t my love enough for you?” whispers of his voice touch your skin as he leans closer, broad shoulders towering over your form. 

“You know it is. But, it would be less nerve-racking if we had their blessings as well,” your furrowed gaze looks up at Jungkook’s honey-brown eyes that softened at the sight of your flushed cheeks. 

“Just give them some time, sweetpea. Okay?” he places a soft kiss on your forehead before tucking a few curls behind your ear. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Now please get in, I'm starving,” 

“What? Are you serious? We just ate,” you laugh from disbelief, eyes glued on the boy as he sprints to his seat. 

“Y/n, baby, you're too nice. My mother can't cook to save her life. Everything you saw on that table was bought and reheated an hour ago,” Jungkook huffs impatiently, turning on the engine before glancing back at your puzzled expression. 

“It wasn't that bad. I'm sure she tried her best, Koo. You gotta be more grateful,” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, love. Now please buckle up,” he replied with a dimpled grin before finally driving off, his free hand intertwined with yours. 

To be honest, you never understood how someone could show disinterest in their parents. Growing up in foster care, you were deprived of every childhood memory. Reaching for your mother’s arms as you took your first steps, feeling the warmth of your father’s embrace as he comforted your tears after a boy broke your heart. None of that was ever real. Nothing more than a constant reminder of the void in your heart. The shattering pieces of your younger self who cried every night, carving the blame deeper into her tiny wrists for not being good enough. Not worth the trouble of being in your life. So you grew paranoid of being viewed as an inconvenience, craving that lack of parental love from anyone who has shown even a glimpse of affection. 

Meeting Jungkook saved you from your breaking point, the night you thought you would go to sleep forever. Sitting on the rails of the Han River Bridge, you thought about the people whose life would be impacted by the loss of yours. In the moment, it was like your mind went blank, consciousness completely obscured by the lack of significance you brought to the world. Unable to fold even one pathetic finger, you felt the tears run down your face as your body shivered in fear. Losing sight of how deep the water went, your breaths became irregular, chest heaving up from the rush of adrenaline in your system. Knowing that this would be your last jump, made it all go away. In the end, nothing ever matters because we all die anyway. Some of us just choose to push their luck and see the afterlife faster than others. 

Closing your eyes you whispered a silent goodbye to your parents, wherever and whoever they were. Thanking them for the opportunity to experience life, however shitty it turned out to be. And as you felt your fingers slowly let go of the metal pillars, you took in your last breath before finally finding peace. 

“Are you out of your mind?” a male voice pierces through your senseless state as you feel your arm being yanked back. 

“What the fuck man? Let go,” you snap, body dangling midair as his other arm latches onto you. 

“Hold on for fuck’s sake,” he growls in frustration, digging his fingers deeper into your blue-ish skin as you fight back the friction. 

“I don’t need your saving.” you cry out, unable to control the stream of mixed emotions. 

“I’m not doing this for you.” his gaze furrows, clenching his jaw as his hand cushions the back of your head before your back hits the cement pavement.  

It’s true. In the moment, he wasn’t saving you. While holding onto your dangling body, all he could see was the sadness in his sister’s hollow eyes. He could feel the fear that rushed through her veins as she jumped off of their apartment complex. Alone. Consumed by the darkness of the cold winter night. No one heard her screams, and no one rushed to ease the pain. Unable to swallow down his antidepressants, Jungkook decided to stay the night at his friend’s house in hopes of muting the sound of his parent’s endless fights. Clueless to the reality of it all, his selfish act of leaving behind the only person who shared his misery. His sweet girl, Jieun. Now, they only see each other in his nightmares. The ones in which he begs for her forgiveness, wishing he could hold her one last time. Hear the laughter coming out of her room as he walks down their shared corridor, only to find it buried with white sheets of dust. 

“I was so close …” you whispered under your breath, bloodshot eyes filled with tears. 

“What’s the point? The pain never ends,” he sighs, resting his head on one of the pillars with his arms around his knees. 

“I have no one else. Who do I live for now?” you cry out with a trembling chin.

“Live for me,” he whispers, tears running down his cheek as he pictures Jieun in the back of his mind.

[meiiuka]

byakuya togami, peko pekoyama, and ryoma hoshi dating you headcanons:

category: fluff, headcanons

notes: I MISS WRITING ABOUT BYAKUYA i could go on and on 😭

Byakuya Togami:

• by the time you two start dating he’s already warmed up to you quite a bit, considering he even thought to date you

• especially because this man is so damn picky with who allows to be close to him,, so if you’re actually officially dating him, everyone knows to consider you special

• “i’ll have you know y/n, i’ve always been very… invested with my career and such. so it didn’t occur to me that i’d have enough time to spend on a romantic partner… but you do a good job at proving me wrong, my dearest.”

• he confines most of his affection to when you two are alone together (he’d never admit it but he’s actually a softie if you let him be </3)

• if you two are alone together, he tends to let loose of his formal etiquette. meaning he’ll “reciprocate” your hugs by placing a hand on your arm instead of pushing you away /hj

• when he uses pet names for you he likes to use them in an elegantly ‘posh’ way, like how you’d see wealthy people talk in an old film 💀

• when he uses pet names, he pretty much exclusively uses “my dear”, “darling”, “my lover” and “my beloved”

• contrary to what a lot of people may see him as, he can be a good boyfriend as long as you communicate what you want to him (he’s really emotionally dense otherwise)

• he’s not as touchy as most people but his love language tends to be more acts of service-y along with other things

• he’ll buy you luxury items, like the most gorgeous gemstone necklace you’ve ever seen in your life and he’ll just act like it’s not a big deal

• “what? i was thinking about you today while i was out so i stopped by the jeweler and picked up this necklace. do you not like it? don’t look so shocked now, just take it.”

Peko Pekoyama:

• she needs to be held by you SO badly and frequently and as her s/o, it’s very obvious

• peko really yearns to have a partnership with you that’s emotionally close and loving (although she isn’t sure of how to manage it herself at first)

• she’s worried that she comes off as too menacing to love and that she may scare you away one day so she can be insecure about losing you

• in context, if you two are sleeping next to each other, like on a couch or bed, she tends to furrow her eyebrows a lot in her sleep while reaching out for you so she can hold you tighter :(

• “… i was doing what? i didn’t mean to invade your space like that while i was resting y/n. i had been dreaming about you and had a nightmare… i’ll prevent it from bothering you next time.”

• it will in fact happen again but it’s okay because as long as you hold her back she visibly calms down and is able to get more restful sleep

• she actually does crave a lot of physical affection but is often too anxious about being off putting to ask you directly

• she also doesn’t ever explicitly ask however she craves your attention and can be rather clingy with you

• thankfully you’ve learned to read her body language over time and you can see the longing look in her eyes when she holds her gaze against yours

• during the moments that she lets her guard down for you, she likes it when you play with her hair and when you kiss her forehead gently

• throughout the course of dating you, she’s learning to become more warm towards you, smiling more and learning how to communicate her need for affection

• “i would like a hug from you… i think i need a moment to just be here, in your arms. to be loved by you. it’s all so simple…”

Ryoma Hoshi:

• words cannot convey the degree by which this man needs to be loved 💀

• his biggest struggle at first was with feeling worthy, not understanding why someone like you would ever want to date him

• he requires a lot of verbal reassurance and outwards affection before he starts to feel comfortable expressing it towards you

• but since you two are dating, he feels grateful and will show his appreciation for you in very heartfelt ways

• if you two have gotten close, expect him to love you like his life depends on it because you’re automatically his favorite person

• he’ll silently do the household chores for the two of you, like folding your laundry, and he’ll call your phone to tell you he misses you when you’re out

• “hey. i’ve been missing you. i want you to shoot me a call back when you get this, but i’m at home right now waiting for you… why don’t you hurry it up so i can see you again sooner? … love you, bye-bye.”

• it’s evident in the way he talks about you, but you’re always on his mind and he’s very attached to you. you’re one of the few people he can actually trust so in a way, he’s lended his heart to you

• he’s always been composed in his demeanor and that hasn’t changed. but after you entered his life, that ‘calmness’ shifted from being because he felt dead inside to being because he’s feeling peace within himself

• “you don’t know the impact you’ve had on me. i couldn’t be here without you, plain and simple. maybe this is too cheesy, but you really do mean the world to me, y/n.”

[stuckymonkey]

Kinktober Day 5: Innocence

Stucky x reader

word count - 1k

a/n - hello hello! I hope you guys liked this! I actually wrote this one on time!!

Steve was an innocent. There was no doubt about that. While he may look like an educated, well rounded man; he's actually quite ignorant when it comes to a certain subject.

This subject was sex. Sure, he and Buck had kissed before the war and before getting separated, but he had never been fucked or touched by anyone else, let alone two people.

So when Y/N and Bucky tried to show him a good time, he clammed up.

It took months for Steve to allow himself to be touched by his two lovers. Bucky was gentle, while y/n was a little impatient. His level of innocence aroused her. Her sweet baby boy who had never been touched by another woman. He also would never be touched this way by any other woman. Ever.

Y/N would make sure of that. Her and Buck would ruin him for anyone else, quickly turning him into their pleasure drunk little baby. He would grow to crave their touch and their pleasure, bound to them for life.

Steve was finally spread out on the bed, after much encouraging and coaxing from Bucky. Y/n just sat back and watched, making Steve feel as if he was her prey. She licked her lips, getting carried away with all of the evil things she could do to their baby. Then, she remembered she had once been like him. An innocent little thing, curious and shy.

She focused on cooing at Stevie, telling him how he was such a good boy, and how they were going to take the best care of him.

And they did.

They each crowded Steve, peppering his face with kissing, telling him sweet nothings and slowly stripping him bare. He gave consent each time and quickly learned that verbal responses were required (thanks to Bucky's patient spanks).

Bucky licked the sides of Steve's virgin shaft while Y/n licked and kissed his neck, using her hand to twist and rub his sensitive nipples.'

He was such a whiny baby, begging for affection and praise. And they gave it to him, rewarding him for trusting them, kissing every inch of his face an neck. Bucky switched between using his mouth and hands on Stevie's cock, licking it up like candy. "Taste's so fuckin' sweet, doll. Should c'mere and have a taste," He said, making eye contact with their girlfriend. "Will you be okay if I go have a taste with Bucky?" She asked softly, getting a quiet "Yes," In response.

Poor Steve was panting from the pleasure, patiently waiting while Bucky and Y/n had their fun.

Y/n made eye contact with Steve before giving little kitten licks to his cockhead, testing the waters per-se. She maintained that eye contact ash she took his cock inch by inch. Bucky eventually decided she was going too slow, using his flesh hand to push her head down further on his length.

She chocked around Steve's narrower cock, letting the mushroom tip kiss the back of her throat. Steve moaned as Bucky jerked what Y/n didn't take, using their combined saliva as lube.

"Fuck Stevie, taste so good," Their girlfriend said, pulling off Steve's cock. "See? Told ya." Bucky replied.

Y/n could feel a wet spot pooling in her panties as she took Steve's length down her throat once again. She gagged around him, making him jolt. "Hang on baby, let her suck on you," Bucky purred, petting Steve's blond head that now rested on his chest.

The thought being the first people to suck Stevie off since the 40s made Y/n blush. She loved that they were the ones taking this from Stevie, his first blowie and really, his first sexual encounter since the 40s. She knew they would be the ones to take Steve's full virginity. They would let him fuck each one of their holes as much as he wanted.

Thinking about this made Y/n squirt onto the sheets as her mouth kept working over the blonde's length. "Y/n?!" Bucky asked, hearing a forced sound come from her mouth. "Stevie, stop. Stop!" He was quick to pull Y/n off of Steve's cock, "Are you okay?!" She nodded breathlessly and tried to go back to sucking their boyfriend off. This was when Bucky saw the puddle of cum between her legs. "Fuck, Steve, our baby just squirted." He announced, appalled that she could cum just from choking on cock.

"You did that to our girl Stevie," He keened. "How does it feel, pal?" He asked. "Great," he panted, ready for the fun to continue.

Bucky took a turn with Steve's length, stroking and squeezing it. Steve let his boyfriend know he was about to cum, his legs were shaking and his panting had increased.

Steve begged and cried, both you and Bucky cooed at him and shushed him, watching as spurts of cum sprayed from his mushroom head. "Good boy Stevie!!" You cooed, brushing his sweaty hair out of his face.

Bucky retrieved a warm washcloth to clean his lovers before slipping into bed beside them, satisfied with the events that occurred that night.

I hope you all enjoyed this! I do not have a taglist, but feel free to turn on notifications! I love all interactions and each one is greatly appreciated!! xoxo

[ts4ritsa]

┊˚➶ ｡˚ cold + unapproachable s/o who has a soft side for them

ft. aoi asahina, ibuki mioda, angie yonaga, & himiko yumeno from danganronpa * ˚ ✦

tags / cw ✎ gn!reader, established relationship, fluff, reader is easily angered and quick to defend s/o, headcanons, not proofread, requested

AOI ASAHINA ✰

well, there are definitely clear contrasts between you and aoi. you both are quite the pair, but it’s actually very cute. once again, a sun and moon!

of course , while aoi encourages you to be nicer and give other people a chance, she actually really loves that you give her, and only her, all your attention and affection

she can go on for hours and hours talking about anything, usually expecting people to be able to keep up. so aoi is very glad that you are always fully immersed in every word that she says

eating donuts together! it’s nothing new that aoi craves donuts on a daily basis, so she’ll drag you along with her. while you might get one or two, usually the same each time, she will always get half a dozen and somehow they’re all completely different flavors

when someone makes a snarky comment at aoi, she’s quick to defend herself and call them out on their rude behavior. however she is easily caught off guard when you butt in and defend her like your life depends on it, while spewing insults at the person. definitely left speechless, yeah she knows how… passionate you can be behind closed doors, but she didn’t know you had that in you!

IBUKI MIODA ✰

ibuki is just the silliest honestly! and you are not. you’re usually just stone-faced, keeping to yourself, while she on the other hand is always laughing, smiling, her existence alone being the life of the party. your friends and classmates comment on this often, and when it comes around to ibuki, she’ll just laugh and playfully tease you about it, giggling as you roll your eyes and smirk

very chaotic girlfriend. occasionally finds herself in trouble because of how explosive she can be, both literally and figuratively. she’ll wind down with you at her dorm and every time she tells you about her day she somehow always has the craziest stories

absolutely adores when you get affectionate with her, and she isn't afraid in the slightest to comment on it either. ibuki eats up any gift you get her, praising it while peppering your cheek with with kisses

doesn’t particularly care that you come off as distant to others. when people try to come up to her to say something, she’ll just cross her arms and shake her head, asking why they care so much. she thinks they should just let you be, if you don’t want to talk to people then you shouldn’t have to

when ibuki finds herself getting ganged up on in an argument, she is equally shocked, irritated, and confused. to put it simply, overwhelmed. soo… she’s very thankful to have you defend her and put the other people in their place

ANGIE YONAGA ✰

angie is very pleased that you consider her the only person worthy of seeing your true self. you’re just the sweetest thing to her! she truly believes that she has been blessed, having such an amazing partner

can be just as affectionate as you, maybe even more, when you’re both alone together — angie actually prefers to not show much pda since you aren’t the type to be so open in public anyway and she’d rather be able to cherish and worship you without having worry about being interrupted or bothered by other people

every single item you gift to her means a lot to her, each and every one of them are precious. to her, it’s a representation of the love that you share — she too gifts you with art pieces that symbolize her feelings and love for you

also appreciates that you take the time to listen to what she has to say, since a lot of people tend to not take her seriously. bonus points if you’re willing to join her when she participates in her spiritual practices

angie is fully able to maintain her composure during high-stress situations so it’s no surprise that she remains calm when someone tries to provoke her into arguing with them. though you are a different story. yet when you insert yourself suddenly in order to defend her, she can’t help but find it very satisfying. she thanks you later for having her back and finds a healthy way for the two of you to get your minds off it and relax

HIMIKO YUMENO ✰

initially, himiko was nervous around you. she had seen firsthand how you acted distant and unapologetically harshly towards others so often she tried not to make herself known to you. but as the two of you gradually got to know one another, she actually became very attached to you. especially since you showed her a much softer side of you.

poor himiko, you stole her heart, you know. her friends try to check up on her occasionally since they are curious how dating you is affecting her. well, himiko has nothing to say besides praise of your name. she tells them all about the little gifts you gave her during dates you’ve taken her on, the way you encourage and support her passion for magic, and how you’re just the best partner a girl could ask for

her friends would not have expected her to respond in the way that she did, considering how antagonistic and cold you come off as. despite their surprise and disbelief they’re relieved that himiko truly seems happy to be yours

and she is, really. she couldn’t have asked for a more perfect relationship

though no matter how much her newfound happiness may brighten her character, some people will eventually wake her up from her sweet little dream and try to criticize her for being with someone like you

himiko is not very good at defending herself from backlash, that’s nothing new. she isn’t sure how she can find a way to escape the harsh comments that get thrown at her — but then that’s when you come in. she stands off to the side speechless as you assert yourself out of nowhere, helping her in her time of need to tell those people off. despite her surprise, she’s more than thankful for your sudden appearance

©2024 ts4ritsa | req by @the-ultimate-puppteer

a/n: thanks so much for requesting angie you’re the best I LOVE HER

[mvltisstuff]

Hey! Can you please do a enemies to lovers (both in 118) with eddie diaz? Thanks:)

chasing pavements - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

gif from @agentoutofdiaz

a/n: THREE MORE FINALS GUYS I GOT THIS 🤌🤌 also i am absolutely not up to par with the quality of my enemies to lovers, but i hope you still enjoy 😉

y/n asked herself the same question every single day at the beginning of her shift. what had she done to make eddie hate her so much? it seemed like he physically was unable to smile when she was around. he avoided her like the plague when in reality, she just wanted to be professional about this.

it’s a natural human response to dislike someone back. people never want to be hated and often get frustrated with the other person involved. y/n always thought the word was too harsh, always regretting it when she said it, but there was no other word to describe their relationship.

eddie’s life has been nothing but uncertainty. having a life with nothing to expect led him to loneliness, craving any form of relationship he had. after the army, he struggled with trying to get back to reality. y/n brought him back too easily, and it irked him.

it didn’t help that she was eerily similar to him personality wise. he hates to admit it, but y/n reminds him of all the things he wishes he could change in himself and she is the constant reminder of that. he couldn’t pick something specific out that he didn’t like through all the time of being bugged by her.

as a prime example, y/n walked into work that morning and almost instantly, eddie’s laugh faded away. she wasn’t even going to say anything, she couldn’t deal with him with everything else going on. her family has been on her case the past few weeks and it doesn’t seem to be over. she’s completely burnt out, eddie being part of the ash. she still showed up at work at the 118, perfectly on time for everyone else is her escape.

there’s no denying that she is a wonderful addition to the 118. she’s wildly talented in her field and knows exactly where she’s needed. she’s looked up upon by her coworkers.

“hey, y/n!” buck says, excited to see his friend.

“hi, buck,” she replies, lightly smiling trying to shield any thoughts from eddie or what she’s dealing with. she looks around at everyone, picking around at the bowl of fruit someone had cut up. the team had noticed she’d been off, zoning out and not celebrating with them as much. the thought she was avoiding them after work, and she really was.

she figured anything eddie had to say to her would just add to the pile of stress that she had, so she let him go out with the team for drinks and other stuff. everyone loved eddie, and if she caused problems with him, she thought they’d take his side without hearing the story.

of course, the affect of athena has rub off on bobby and his investigation. he wanted to have a little fun, seeing how bad y/n and eddie were together. he knew working together and saving people would be fine, so he decided to put them on ambulance together. of course, both of them thought they’d been denied to get through the gates of heaven when bobby passed out the demand. the first call was simple, driving to the hospital silently other than vital checks and orders. the next was too, neither of them speaking to each other unless they were administering something. the last call was particularly difficult for y/n, being a close reminder of what she had to deal with at home.

it was just a little kid, being the scapegoat of all the families problems. all the fights, he sat and listened to something he couldn’t control. he was so little that he called 911 out of fear, the police and the ambulance showing up. y/n was relieved no one was actually hurt and no one needed to go to the hospital, but something about it really sent her over the edge.

she was driving the ambulance back to the station, eddie in the passengers seat. she said harmless words to him, “poor kid, it sucks having to deal with that.”

“well, there’s nothing we can do. cant intervene.”

“i know, i just wish i could’ve helped-“

“what could you have helped, y/n?” he interrupts abruptly, causing her to glance at him. “clearly, you have no clue what it’s like to go through that because you wouldn’t be so caught up on it. it’s not like you would’ve made a difference anyway.”

his words were like a sword in her chest. there’s no way he really things she’s no help. the impact she’s made in the community is noticeable, and she tries so hard everyday to make the own community of her last name come together. he was hitting way too close to home, and it was her last straw before the light tears formed on her waterline. she blinked them away, trying to clear her sight but the stinging in her eyes kept bringing them up. she was already embarrassed enough, and crying in front of her the person who hated her was even more humiliating.

“jesus, y/n,” eddie mocks. “you’re a damn adult, there’s no valid reason to be crying right now.”

as they get closer to the station, she pulls into the garage, parking carefully before she shakily shoves her door open. thank god her shift ended before his did, so she could get out of this hellhole. “screw you, diaz,” she says as one final press to his button. he leans back in his seat, not expecting her to retort back to him.

she rubs her red eyes, shuffling out of the car and abandoning the ambulance behind her. eddie couldn’t even bring himself to get out. he thought he might be having a heart attack because of the new feeling he has. did he feel bad for her? he didn’t think that was possible, she’d had enough pity come her way. when y/n walked past everyone and into the showers, hen, chim, and buck gave him a look that had, “are you serious?” written all over their faces. y/n scrubbed off every last word she had received from eddie, or she tried, at least. they stuck with her like a spider in a trap, along with the other baggage she’d been carrying.

the alarm had gone off while she was in the showers, telling her that eddie was gone on a call with the rest of the team. she went into the locker rooms to get the rest of her stuff and leave this exhausting day behind her. she was shoving her stuff into her duffel bag when eddie’s phone started going wild in his cabinet. he usually brings it on calls. she didn’t let the curiosity get the best of her, needing no more reminders of him in her mind. so, she climbed into her car and started the drive home, even though nothing would be different there.

she notices someone sitting on the sidewalk against the stairs of a building. she knew who it was instantly. eddie’s son, christopher, had been waiting outside which was very odd. school had ended a while ago. his red crutches were sitting next to him and he looked around desperately for anyone he knew. she knew she couldn’t leave him there, and eddie didn’t have his phone, so she pulled into the parking lot next to the building.

“christopher? what are you doing here?”

“tía was supposed to pick me up but she didn’t show up, so i was gonna walk home.”

“oh, buddy. i’d call your dad but he’s on a call.”

“i just want to go home,” chris says, making a frown form on y/n’s face.

“you have a key, right?” christopher nods. “here, i’ll bring you home and i can make you something to eat.”

she helps him get into the car and he tells her where to go, eventually pulling up the the house of eddie. he’d probably flip his shit if he knew she was here, but he’d want his son safe at home more. it’s not like she could’ve taken him to her apartment, eddie would be livid.

the 118 had arrived back at the station, putting away their gear and setting their stuff back where it should be. eddie had overheard someone say that there were repeated calls to someone in the locker room, so he decided he should probably check his phone. his heart skipped a beat when he saw his tías name flashing across the screen a million times. “tía! ¿que paso?”

“it’s christopher! i completely forgot he was getting out at a different time and i was picking him up,” eddie hears her say and he almost drops his phone to the ground. “i went to the school, and he wasn’t there, edmundo.”

“what?” he says. “ok, i’m leaving now, i’ll go look. maybe another parent dropped him off.”

eddie speeds over to his home, passing all the cars slower than him. he would never recover if something happened to chris. he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. he slams his car door shut, running to the door and frantically turning the doorknob. he rapidly moves inside, shouting christopher’s name, praying for a reply. he walks into the kitchen to see y/n standing over a boiling pot, and his face goes pale as a ghost when he sees her.

“he’s in the living room with headphones on. i found him trying to walk home,” y/n tells him.

“where was he?”

“the offices on north west,” she takes notices of his expression. “i’m sorry, eddie. i can leave in a minute. i would’ve called you, but-“

“no apologizing, don’t worry about it,” he says, calmly. “thank you. so much, y/n, thank you.”

she nods, smiling lightly because this might get her in the door a bit better. “it’s really not a problem. i was happy to do this for him, i just wanted him safe for you.”

she begins to gather her belongings like her phone and wallet, putting it back into her purse and picking up.

“y/n, wait,” eddie says, placing a hand on her arm. “i have to say i’m sorry. i was nothing but a complete dick for no reason and i had no clue you had so much going on. i got yelled at by hen and was told to lay off.”

y/n laughs a bit, “are you only saying this because hen told you to?”

“absolutely not. y/n, you just saved my son. god only knows what could’ve happened, i mean we live in a massive city. it means the world to me that you were there for him when i couldn’t be. i’ve treated you like shit and you’ve never even done a bad thing. you just… scared me.”

“i scared you? i think you can take the prize there, eddie.”

“ok, maybe not scared, but i was intimidated. because i see so much of myself in you and i couldn’t handle that.”

“it’s ok, really. i just need breather for a little. i am that little kid that we got called to today and you completely disregarded it. i would have never done that to you.”

“i never, ever want to make you feel like that again. i want to make this work, you and i. so, stay for dinner tonight. you already went through the hassle of cooking for him, why don’t you eat it?”

“i’m happy to make boxed mac and cheese for him anytime, eddie. and i’m here for you and your kid whenever you need it.” she and eddie sit down at the table, letting whatever was on their chest come out as christopher played video games in the other room.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Mine - Chapter 1

Story Summary: Joel Miller finds a woman in Jackson that is head over heels for him, but the trauma from his loss and past puts him in jeopardy of losing the one person he’s close to when he’s unable to show her the kind of love and affection she craves. Will he be able to change his ways or will he lose out to the charming newbie Negan in town? 

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/113491984

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, etc.

Notes: I decided to do another cross over story with The Last of Us and The Walking Dead. This is based off The Last of Us universe and I’m starting this story before we actually get to see Jackson, so some of this is going based off the game a bit as well. I know this is different for me, but for some reason my brain was eager to write it. Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to use. This first chapter heavily focuses on Joel and Y/N’s relationship. Gif Credits: @tomshiddles & @jdmorganz​

A cool gust of wind made Y/N pull her jacket in closer to her body while she sat on the steps of her porch in Jackson. There was a sense of nervousness and panic flooding her veins. She wondered if maybe she was too early for her planned date. She couldn’t believe she was actually worrying about a date. It had been so long since she had been on one. Who knew that living in a time like this would actually give time for people to have dates. That’s what was nice about Jackson. It brought back to life the way things used to be. At least somewhat.

When Y/N was brought to Jackson after her group was found, she didn’t believe it at first. A small little town that was closed off and protected that had electricity? It was an amazing thought. One that made her question if it was real to begin with. The only thing about Jackson was that to make everything work everyone had to work hard. It made you appreciate everything all the more.

It had been quite some time since she had arrived in Jackson and it had already been pretty eventful. She had come just before Tommy was reunited with his brother Joel who had become the talk of the town. When Joel had returned after leaving the first time, he became an important staple to the town. With his knowledge of construction along with his wits about the world in general, people often looked to him. Y/N was one of the fortunate people that got to work with him frequently. Well, to her she was lucky. Many people acknowledged that he was important to the community, but he could come off rather unfriendly and unwelcoming to others. He was working hard to break down that wall that he had obviously built up over the years, but it was taking a lot out of him. But Y/N saw beyond that tough exterior. He was a man with a good heart that was super charming when given the chance. All it took was Y/N getting to see him interact with Ellie for her to know how she felt about him.

A moment of bravery led to her asking Joel out on a date earlier today. At first when she asked him, it seemed like he didn’t know how to respond. It visibly caught him off guard and it almost immediately made her regret asking him because she assumed he didn’t feel the same way about her which led to her apologizing profusely. The long pause from Joel when she asked just made her assume that Joel didn’t feel the same way, but he did his best to get her to calm down and agreed to going out with her for a drink at the local bar they had in Jackson.

It had Y/N excited, probably too excited. She tried on multiple outfits before finally deciding on something to wear. It wasn’t like she had a wide array of clothing since it was the apocalypse after all and there was only so much she could choose from. It was a colder night for them in Jackson so she had to end up wearing a coat anyways.

With the sun going down, she wondered if Joel was going to show up at this point and it made her worry. Maybe he didn’t want to go on this date and he didn’t want to make her feel bad at work earlier. Right when she was about to give up, she heard footsteps approaching and lifted her head to see Joel standing before her. He seemed nervous when he swallowed down loudly and tossed his hands up in the air.

“Sorry, I was uh…getting a peptalk,” Joel explained with an uneven breath pointing back toward the house that he lived in. His graying hair seemed more properly groomed than it usually was and he sighed loudly. “Ellie told me I should shower and put on something nice.”

“I’ll have to thank her,” Y/N winked making a flush of color flood into Joel’s cheeks when she carefully stood from the steps that she was sitting on to move across the yard to him. “You look good.”

“Oh, thanks,” Joel quickly looked down at what he was wearing and cleared his throat uneasily. It took a minute before he gazed over her and nodded. “So do you.”

“We both look like we’re ready for the cold,” she teased him reaching out to playfully touch his shoulder seeing the way he shifted on his feet. It was a bit of an awkward moment, but she just pointed in the direction they were supposed to go. “You ready?”

“Sure,” Joel waited for her to go first and then he stepped in beside her to follow her toward town. There was a long silence between the two of them and he licked his lips in a nervous sweep. “I won’t lie to you Y/N, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been on a date of some kind. I’m not very good at this. I’m not very outgoing.”

“That’s okay,” she assured him with a shrug of her shoulders. “I know you’re a man of a few words, but I find the mystery about you all the more appealing. It makes me look forward to the future when I get to pull information out of you.”

The way his chocolate brown eyes gazed over at her made her smile because it seemed to interest him with what she said, “I know I’m probably a mess and I will say stupid things tonight so I immediately apologize ahead of time.”

“No, you’re good,” Joel shook his head and gave a small smirk. It wasn’t often that Joel smiled or even smirked so it made her heart flutter inside of her chest seeing it. Under the faint glowing lights of the town, Y/N couldn’t helped but be charmed with the fact that Joel appeared to try to groom his facial hair as well. The gray hair looked good with his tanned flesh and she knew that she was swooning too hard right now. She needed to dial it back a bit. When they got to the bar, Joel put on that southern gentleman charm and held the door open for her. “Ma’am.”

“Thank you,” she gave him a wink and headed inside feeling the warmth of the building surrounding them. It was loud and she noticed the way it made Joel uncomfortable. Noticing an empty table in the corner, Y/N motioned Joel to follow her and felt herself in awe with the way he helped her into her seat before going to his. Joel pulled off his jacket to reveal his plaid button-down shirt that he had chosen to wear.

“I didn’t realize it was so loud here,” Joel spoke louder than normal, leaning forward toward the table to get her attention. “Then again, I don’t really come here often. I like…sticking to myself.”

“Well I’m glad you decided to come here with me,” she extended her hand out across the table to place her hand in over his for a moment. Joel’s eyes shifted to look at the gesture and she unhurriedly pulled her hand away. She was way too eager to touch him and maybe it looked pathetic so early in the date. “Hopefully we can get to know one another more.”

“I think I know you pretty well,” Joel informed her, getting more comfortable in the seat before gazing around the busier bar that the people of Jackson had come to in order to relax after a long day of work.

“Oh yeah?” she found herself more so focused on Joel while he was taking in the area surrounding them. Joel was used to being on edge from the stories she heard from Tommy about his brother. So it made sense that he would be taking in everything all at once. “What do you know about me?”

“Well, I know you’re a good worker. Reliable. Trustworthy. Kind,” Joel listed off some things that made her smile when his brown eyes finally connected with hers. “You listen to folks. You’re easy to work with. You make working enjoyable.”

“I’m glad you think all of those things about me,” she admitted seeing him nod and she let out a long sigh. There was a boost of laughter that drew Joel’s attention away from her and she almost damned that they picked here for their ‘date’. Looking toward the corner where the pool tables were, she saw a group of people having fun together and Joel grunted. “What?”

“A lot of people in town seem to like that Negan guy,” Joel grumbled under his breath making her smirk when Joel shook his head and he seemed to roll his eyes.

“Not a fan, huh?” she teased him noticing the way that Joel seemed uncomfortable in the chair before her.

“He’s just…loud,” Joel explained stealing another look in the direction of everyone that was there. Negan’s eyes lifted from the pool table that he was at to see that both Y/N and Joel were staring out at him. A large smile pressed in over Negan’s chiseled features when he waved. It immediately made Joel freeze up because he didn’t know how to respond to it. It took him seeing Y/N wave back out of the corner of his eye to realize that it was Y/N Negan was waving to. “You two know one another?”

“Yeah, we work together a lot,” Y/N answered Joel about the newer member of Jackson. “He’s funny. Has the mouth of a sailor, but I like him. He makes work interesting most days when things get boring.”

“Oh,” Joel seemed tense after she admitted that she knew Negan. “So you’re like everyone else that is charmed by him, huh? You find him attractive?”

“Sure, he’s a good-looking guy,” she commented with a shake of her head noticing the way that Joel tensed up upon hearing her say that. Was it too soon for her to be excited at the idea that he might be jealous to hear that? Because it sure looked like he was jealous hearing that she thought Negan was a good-looking man. “Although, I think he’s already taken.”

“Is he?” Joel suddenly seemed interested further in Negan and it made her smile. That was something she would have never pinned Joel for. Being a gossip. But she found it cute. “With who?”

“I don’t know, he talks about a girl named Morgan all the time,” she thought back on previous conversations watching Joel’s face scrunch up like he was thinking about who she was talking about.

“I don’t know any girls named Morgan here,” Joel confessed, gazing over at Negan again wondering if it was one of the woman by the pool table. Each person that was there, Joel knew their names so he was rather flustered.

“Oh, so you know all the women in Jackson?” she replied in a teasing tone making Joel turn his head back toward her in a moment of surprise. “Should I be jealous?”

“I just make it my job to know the people I’m surrounded by,” Joel admitted with a simple shake of his head. “Being here I’ve yet to meet a Morgan so I’m just curious.”

“So I don’t have anything to be jealous about?” she pushed further making Joel’s face scrunch up in amusement before shaking his head. “Joel Miller doesn’t take out all the girls on dates then?”

“Come on,” Joel snorted with a roll of his eyes. “Should I be worried about Negan? You’re telling me that if he wasn’t taken, you would be here with him right now, aren’t you?”

“Did I say that? I think I said he was an attractive man that was taken,” she pointed out with a wink making Joel tip his head to the side while he eyed her over. “He’s not really the guy I’ve had my eye on for a while. There is someone else I’m very interested in.”

With the way his eyebrow arched, it showed that Joel was interested, but he had still been so focused on the rest of the group that when Negan started to head in over toward them, it made him groan out in frustration.

“Oh shit, now that he’s spotted you…he’s comin’ over,” Joel tried to hide his face to a degree and it amused Y/N to see that Joel was so antisocial in that moment.

Letting out a rumble of annoyance, Joel shifted again and sat forward in his seat when Negan headed over toward the table looking down at the two of them, “Hey you two! You care to join us for a game? Everyone’s surprised to see you here big guy.”

“Didn’t realize I made such an impact,” Joel scoffed making both Negan and Y/N glance at him since Joel often drew the most attention of anyone in Jackson with the way people looked to him with his past along with his knowledge of everything. “I’m not all that interested.”

“Fair enough,” Negan chuckled looking down to Y/N with a big smile. “You finally got that date, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Joel’s southern drawl made Negan’s eyebrow arch up in amusement.

“I may have talked to Negan about…things,” she felt her cheeks flush over making a snort fall from Negan before it turned into an amused rumble of laughter. It made Joel want to ask questions, but she was clearly embarrassed. What kinds of things did she talk about Negan with when it came to Joel? “A lot.”

“This one doesn’t hide shit from you, I fucking promise you that,” Negan reached out to place his hand in over Y/N’s shoulder to give it a firm squeeze. “I hope the two of you enjoy your night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

There was an uncomfortable laugh that escaped Joel’s lips and he brushed his fingers through his hair when Negan backstepped away from the table, “Hey Negan. Where’s Morgan?”

“Fuck, you know about Morgan? You really do know everything, don’t you?” Negan seemed amazed that Joel seemed to know about the woman that Y/N had mentioned. “Wow…she’s with her friend’s family right now.”

“You didn’t want to bring her here?” Joel threw his hand about making Negan’s nose wrinkle and his thick eyebrows furrowed. “I just thought you would want to bring your girl with you on a night like this.”

“Do you bring Ellie to a place like this?” Negan stammered, his head bobbing about in almost a dramatic manner making a breath catch in Joel’s throat. What the hell kind of a question was that?

“Of course not,” Joel immediately shook his head making Negan’s dimples enhance as if he was entertained with what Joel was saying to him. “Ellie doesn’t belong in a place like this and she’s not…just no.”

“Then I think you would understand why I’m not bringing Morgan to a place like this,” Negan reasoned with Joel, shrugging his shoulders drastically before pointing back toward the pool table that was behind him. “But if you ever want man, you’re welcome to come over and meet Morgan. She’d probably be thrilled since there are so many fucking stories about you. You’re like a real-life comic book character to her.”

“What?” Joel seemed lost and they both went silent. There was awkward tension between all three of them before Joel cleared his throat. “No, yeah. I would like that. I’ll have to meet her at some point.”

“Well this isn’t fucking weird or anything, I’ll just…talk to you later Y/N,” Negan gave her a wink and headed back toward the pool table to the group that was waiting for him. Y/N seemed amused with the interaction, but it really just left Joel flustered.

“What were we talking about before he came over here?” Joel pulled himself from his thoughts finding Y/N’s eyes hooked on him and it made him let out a nervous laugh. “What?”

“I was telling you that I had my eye on someone else,” she recalled making Joel tap his hands against the table giving her a small nod.

“Oh yeah? Who?” Joel blurt out making her chuckle when she stared out across the table at him. Giving him a nod, Joel let out an embarrassed breath when he dropped his head down and grumbled something underneath his breath. “That was stupid.”

“I mean, I think it’s obvious who I like considering I asked you here tonight,” she reasoned with Joel seeing the embarrassed expression over his features when he slowly lowered his head to look up at her. “I did ask you out on this date.”

“I didn’t know if it was a date or just…a hang out thing with two friends,” Joel spoke up being honest with her about things. “Ellie insisted it was a date, but I didn’t want to assume things and make this whole thing uncomfortable.”

“Well then I will just put it all out on the table and make it known…” she began leaning across the table and he did the same so that he could hear her when she spoke up in a whisper. “I am extremely attracted to you Joel. I have been since the moment that you showed up in this town. I think you’re gorgeous. I like you very much, but most of all I love the way you interact with Ellie and take care of her. I feel like there is a lot to you that people don’t see and I want to get to know that man better. The one you hide from everyone.”

Joel was quiet, his dark eyes locked on hers with his eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, “Does that scare you away from the situation? Because if you aren’t interested, I’d really rather you tell me right now so I don’t get my hopes up.”

“No,” Joel shook his head, his lips parting while he tried to gather himself. “What I mean is, I find you very beautiful. I like you.”

“I like you too,” she felt her heart flutter hearing Joel call her beautiful. It made her happy to know that her feelings weren’t exactly one sided. Joel was quiet and unsure of himself, but it made him all the more appealing to her. “I tell you what? How about we get out of here and just take a walk. So the two of us could actually talk and get to know one another better.”

“Sure,” Joel stood up from the table without question and reached for his jacket. They were barely in that bar long enough to matter really. But when they were out Joel seemed relieved.

“So you’re not a fan of groups of people?” she confirmed with Joel who groaned out at the idea of it.

“I just have been kind of a loner most of my life. I’m not used to people putting their guards down so easily. After the things I’ve seen over the last twenty years of my life, I have to be on guard. It’s just hard not to be,” Joel confessed with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s hard for me to pretend that life is normal here. Like there isn’t a shitload of awful people out there or infected. So yeah, I’m not big on groups and being…loud.”

“Understandably so,” she muttered just enjoying that they were standing closer to one another with her shoulder rubbing up against his. “Ellie is a bit…loud.”

“She’s the exception,” Joel snorted with a shake of his head. “But she also took a while for me to get used to as well.”

“What happened there?” she whispered seeing Joel think about it for a minute before he bit down on his bottom lip. “Too much?”

“She just means a lot to me. We took a journey together and…I just want to keep her safe,” Joel admitted to her knowing that he wanted to leave out certain details considering how special Ellie actually was to him. “I would just do anything to keep her safe.”

“I love that,” she explained with a smirk knowing that it surprised Joel. “Seeing a good father, or father figure in this case is just incredibly sexy to me.”

“Ah, so you have daddy issues,” Joel was so blunt, but a smirk tugged at his features showing that it was his attempt at joking with her and giving her a hard time. “I just, you have to have realized there is obviously an age gap between us.”

“I’m not that young,” she replied back in a rebuttal and it made Joel snort.

“And you’re not that old either. Once you get to my age and everything aches, you’ll understand what I’m saying,” Joel teased her with a shake of his head and a long sigh. “Your body is still fresh.”

“Oh?” her eyebrows bounced up and she saw the color flood into his cheeks again.

“You know what I mean,” Joel grumbled making her laugh. It entertained her that she could get Joel to blush. She wondered how many people had been able to do that lately.

“I’m sure your body is still fresh too,” she bit down on her bottom lip knowing that it was her attempt at flirting with him. “From what I can tell at least. You’re strong. It’s very appealing. I’d love to get to know your body more.”

“Wow, you’re…forward,” Joel coughed making her roll her eyes before shrugging her shoulders. “It’s not a bad thing. Just wow.”

“Dial it back, I got it,” she frowned making Joel scoff before shaking his head. “I just find you very attractive and I think you need to know that.”

“Okay then,” Joel responded with a nod, his eyes narrowing out at her when he pushed his hands into his pockets. “So you are more so looking for a booty call with an older man that is strong because that is your type.”

“You’re my type,” she corrected him making Joel laugh for the first time tonight.

“You avoided the booty call part,” Joel pointed out making her heart skip a beat and she didn’t answer him. “So you just want to get laid?”

“You’re the one talking about getting laid,” she responded feigning a sense of innocence to her. “I just really like you Joel and while I’m not turned off by the idea of sleeping with you, I don’t really want it to be a one-time thing. I like you.”

“Why?” Joel stammered and it made her laugh. “Seriously. There is nothing about me that I could see being appealing to people.”

“Are you ignoring everything I’ve already said to you tonight?” she huffed, turning to Joel and she stopped walking. Joel did the same and turned to face her. “I really like you, Joel. If you like me too, I’d love to see this be something more than just a booty call.”

“I’m not very good with relationships,” Joel confessed to her with an exaggerated sigh. “I have a hard time expressing my feelings because of…things.”

“Okay?” her eyebrow arched while he bobbed his head from side to side trying to think of what to say.

“I’ve only been in two really big relationships in my life. One was my wife that I got divorced from before this whole world went to shit. The other…” Joel thought back on Tess and he felt his chest ache. Life never really gave him the time to mourn the person he had been with over sixteen years. And even when he was with Tess, he never was very capable of being affectionate and intimate with her. “Let’s just say things didn’t end well. I’m not the most affectionate person in the world. Because of the loss and the things I’ve been through in my life, it makes it hard for me to get close to people. I put up these barriers and they are hard to take down darlin’.”

“I feel like if you had the right person in your life, you could break down those walls a little bit and you wouldn’t have to be so guarded,” she suggested and it made Joel tense up. There was a hopefulness in her expression that showed she desperately wanted to be that person. He didn’t know exactly how to tell her that the last person he had been with was a woman he cared greatly for over sixteen years. A woman who died believing that Joel never truly loved her. “We all have sad stories to go with our pasts Joel and I’m willing to work through things with you if we get to that point.”

“The thing is Y/N, I’m hard…” Joel was trying to think of a way to explain himself that wouldn’t let her down too hard and he saw her face scrunch up. Her eyes lowered and he let out a frustrated sound seeing that she was fucking with him again in the way that she took what he said. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“I’m sorry, it was the way you said it,” she giggled reaching out to poke at the center of his chest making Joel step back. “I get your warnings and I hear you, but I would still like to try to get to know you better and see where things go if you give me a chance.”

“Well at least you’re persistent,” Joel commented making her snicker before nodding. This was the first interest she had in someone in a very long time. Of course she wasn’t going to give up hope on this one. “I give you that.”

“Thank you,” she bit at her bottom lip and took in a long shallow breath. “I’m sure within time I could make you love me. I’m a very lovable person.”

“Uh…” Joel swallowed down the lump that was in his throat hearing that word. It was a word he had never even used during his time with Tess, but he wasn’t certain that he wanted to tell Y/N that. This was the first woman that had showed an interest in a long time toward him and he didn’t want to scare her off. “I don’t doubt that.”

Clearing his throat, he noticed that it was getting cold and it was pretty dark out, “While I enjoy walking, how about the two of us go back to my place for some coffee or something?”

“Coffee?” she repeated what he offered. “At night? You looking to stay up all night?”

“Well I don’t sleep much to begin with,” Joel informed her with a simple shrug of his shoulders. “Tea? A beer? I don’t care. Something.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” she agreed to head back over to his house with him finding herself excited at the idea of getting to be at his house with him. While they headed back toward his place, she found herself wondering something in that moment. “What about Ellie?”

“What about Ellie?” Joel repeated her words and shrugged. “Ellie has her own place in the garage in my backyard. I set up something nice for her there so she feels like she has her own space. Her own independence, but I still get to watch her.”

“Oh yeah?” Y/N noticed that the lights were on outside in the garage area as they passed down the street when she got a glimpse of his backyard. They walked up the steps to his home and up the stone walkway. “Do many people get to be in Joel Miller’s home?”

“Ellie, Tommy and Maria pretty much,” Joel answered her when he got the door open, holding his hand up for her to enter. “Now you.”

Entering his home, she took a look around as he closed up the door behind her after following her in. It smelled like him. And if you knew what Joel smelled like it was often a woody scent likely from all the woodwork that he did even in his spare time. People knew that he liked to carve things and also made guitars. Joel was starting to open up to people and was even trying to give people guitar lessons, but it was pretty rare. It was more so for the kids in the town.

His home was pretty bare, but she knew that Joel was a simple man. Joel took his jacket off and put it on the coat hanger before reaching for her coat to help her take it off. It still charmed her that he had that southern chivalry and kept it alive this long into the future. Many people lost that a long time ago and she found it charming.

“I’m going to make myself some coffee,” Joel announced nodding toward the kitchen area of his home. “You’re welcome to join me or I could make you some tea.”

“I can drink coffee,” she smirked following him over toward the kitchen noticing the way that he limped as he made his way to that part of his house. “I like your place, Joel.”

“You’ve barely seen it,” Joel muttered making her chuckle. “But thank you.”

Heading toward the corner of the kitchen where the cabinets met, she leaned back and braced herself while she watched Joel gather what he needed to make his coffee, “So since I was honest about my relationships, what about you?”

“You can ask me anything Joel and I’ll be completely honest with you. There isn’t much to say in terms of important relationships in my life. Nothing too serious,” Y/N answered Joel after he asked her about her personal life. “Like you pointed out, I was a bit younger than you when this world fell to shit so it didn’t leave a whole lot of time for relationships and getting close to someone. Being here in Jackson is the first time I’ve had any kind of sturdy moment in my life.”

“Touché,” Joel grumbled under his breath, turning to face her and he rest his back up against the island in the middle of his kitchen. There was a silence while he gazed over the lengths of her body. Everything she had said to him tonight replayed in his mind and he was trying to think of what he wanted to say to her. “So you want to date me?”

“Do you want to date me?” she tipped her head to the side watching Joel’s eyebrows tense and his jaw flexed while he looked her over. Having him ask her that was almost cruel. He knew how she felt about him. She made it very clear throughout their time together. So she wasn’t going to answer that until he gave her an answer himself.

“I’m still thinking about it,” he slurred making her eyes get big and she nodded. “What would make me want to date you?”

“Other than the glowing recommendation you gave me earlier?” she replied with a bit of an offended tone. “What’s not to like?”

“You’re arrogant,” Joel seemed to be finding fun in making her tense. “I don’t even know if you’re a good kisser at this point. How can I date someone if I don’t even know what they kiss like?”

“You’re questioning if I’m a good kisser or not?” she placed her hand over the center of her chest watching Joel shrug and seem so nonchalant about things. “What if you’re not a good kisser?”

“Oh, I’m a good kisser,” Joel responded with a grumble, curling his fingers around the edge of the countertop. “So if there is a problem with us kissing, I know it has to be you because I can kiss.”

“Now who is the arrogant one?” she stammered, boldly stepping forward making Joel’s dark eyes follow her movements. Stepping before Joel, she reached up to curl her fingers around the side of his neck to bring him down. Tipping up on her toes just enough, she pulled him forward to bring their lips together. With a hum, Joel kissed her back making it vibrate against her lips. The kiss lingered before she pulled back with a shuddering breath. The warmth of his breath over hers was drawing chills down her spine and Joel tipped his head back slightly. “Was that a bad kiss?”

“Too short to tell,” he growled, palming in over the side of her face with his thumb stroking over her cheekbone. Lowering in again, he watched her eyes flutter to a close before he captured her lips in another kiss. This one was stronger, the warmth of Joel’s lips caressing hers into a desperate surrender. When he pulled away, he sucked faintly at her bottom lip and hissed. “Well, we know that you like my kissing. I told you.”

With her lips glistening from the kiss, Joel found himself in awe with the way that Y/N was looking at him. He wasn’t sure if anyone ever looked at him like that. Not even Tess saw him in the way that Y/N did right now and he knew that. He wasn’t used to so much longing and hopefulness from someone. Especially when it came to him. It had been so long since he had felt the warmth of another person pressed against him. Being able to kiss someone again awoke something inside of him and he liked it, “but you don’t kiss too bad yourself. I’ll take it into consideration when thinking about whether or not I may want to date you.”

“You’re a cruel man, aren’t you Joel Miller?” she licked her lips making his face scrunch up while her hands settled in over the center of his chest. It kept her braced against him while it felt like the world was spinning around her.

“Very, haven’t you heard from the people in town?” Joel whispered against her lips, pressing faint kisses over her bottom lip. At this point there was no doubt in his mind that he had her eating out of the palm of his hand. Just the small amount of attention that he had given her had her breathing unevenly. Her pupils were dilated with lust and want for him. “I’m very harsh and hard to please.”

“I guess I will just have to work harder,” she bit at her bottom lip, her hands dragging down over the planes of his abdomen. When her fingers got to the button in his jeans, she plucked it open making Joel swallow down loudly. “As I aim to please.”

“Y/N,” Joel grumbled when she managed to get the zipper down in his jeans. Maybe this is where he should have stopped her. This was someone who really liked him. Yeah, he was hoping it would lead to something like this. It had been so long since he got to fool around with someone, so he kept his mouth shut when she looked to him with such desire.

Biting down onto his bottom lip, he closed his eyes when he felt her hand dipping beneath the material swiftly to palm in over his body. It made his eyelids get heavy and he tipped his head back to stare out at her while she caressed over him through the material of his boxers. With an arch of his eyebrow he watched her lower down to her knees before him. All it took was a tug to get his jeans to his ankles before she reached for the waistband of his boxers and took no time in getting those down his body as well. Looking up at Joel, she kept her eyes hooked on his when her fingers curled around his hardening cock. Soft strokes of her fingers over his body made him grasp tightly to the edge of the counter. When he was solid in her grasp, she straightened up on her knees before him and dragged her tongue out over the tip of his manhood making his knees buckle somewhat until he managed to gather himself. His eyes rolled back to a close when her lips surrounded his girth sucking faintly at his sensitive flesh. With her tongue lapping at his skin, Joel knew that it had been so long since someone actually took their time to pleasure him. It wasn’t something that he knew he needed, but now that he was actually having it, he knew that it had been too long.

With his eyes closed, everything felt so much more enhanced when Y/N took him further into the warmth of her mouth. Arching his hips forward, Joel growled and lowered his left hand to sink his fingers into her hair. Fluttering his eyes to an open, he watched her while she took her time to bob her head over the length of his erection and it made his heart hammer inside of his chest. Each pull back of her head had her tongue dragging along the underside of his shaft making his whole-body tense up. Curling his fingers tighter into her hair, Joel urged her further down his length making her eyes come to a tight close.

Thrusting his hips forward made a wet noise fall from her throat before he started to pull his hips backward before thrusting forward. They were uneven thrusts, but it felt so good having the warmth of her mouth surrounding him. Licking his lips, he found himself completely charmed with the way she was attempting to give him what he wanted. Tugging back on her hair, he heard the wet sound that filled the air when her lips pulled from his solid length and he used his other hand to drag his thumb out over her bottom lip. A muted groan fell from his throat with her kissing at the pad of his thumb.

“Get up,” Joel demanded of her, reaching out to pull her up toward him and it made her fall in against his chest. Reaching out to unplug the coffee machine, Joel could feel Y/N’s lips at the side of his neck while she worked open the buttons of his plaid shirt. Fumbling through his motions, Joel did his best to work her pants down her body hearing her whimpering against his kisses.

As soon as they managed to get the material from one of her legs, he was quick to curl his arms around her thighs to pick her up and press her back against the counter. Bracing her, Joel used his strength to keep her up when he reached between them to push her panties aside. Grabbing a hold of his straining cock, he teased the swollen tip through her sensitive folds before lining his body up with her entrance. With a roll of his hips, he heard her crying out and sinking her fingers into his thick, gray hair. Joel buried his nose against the side of her neck cherishing the warmth of her body enveloping his. Sinking further into her, Joel heard her purr out and he did his best to steady himself. The sensation of her surrounding him was something he didn’t know that he needed, but it was an addictive feeling and he wanted more of it.

When he felt like she was prepared enough, he started to buck his hips up toward her again and again. With him filling her, she was crying out and it fueled him to know that she appeared to like what they were doing. Doing his best to keep a hold of her, Joel took his time leaving kisses over her jawline and neck knowing that she was a shuddering mess before him.  

“Joel,” she cried out his name and it made Joel’s eyes close tightly, his lips parting with their uneven movements together. His hips smacked up against hers while he thrust into her time and time again. Her fingers tugged at his graying hair while her other hand clawed at his shoulder making Joel hiss out against her lips. “Please…”

Joel wasn’t exactly the most verbal lover, but the occasional moan that he released drew chills up and down her spine. This wasn’t exactly where she thought their first date would go, but she wasn’t complaining. In fact, this was the ultimate dream come true for her. The strength of Joel’s thrusts led her to cling to him tightly and a few of the items on top of his counter fell over making Joel huff. Lowering her down, Joel felt her fingers pushing up underneath the material of his unbuttoned shirt to let it drop down his arms while she caressed over the strength of his bicep. Joel’s lips hovered over hers. Their breath was warm against each other’s and he could feel her hips still rocking toward him wanting that friction that he had put a halt too.

Dropping the material of his shirt on the ground, Joel wasn’t gentle or slow about the way he got the rest of her clothes off before forcing her to face the island. With a gasp, her hands grasped the edges of the counter while she tried to steady herself with Joel moving her where he needed her. His right hand urged her hips where he needed them while his left curled around her body to palm up the lengths of her abdomen before squeezing at her full breast.

Wrapping his fingers around his throbbing length, he led the tip to her ready entrance and pushed forward sinking into her almost completely before pulling out. It made her whine before he repeated the motion several times. Having her shaking before him while laid out across the counter made him chuckle.

“You’d never make it out there with how loud you are,” Joel informed her, lowering down enough to place a wet kiss between her shoulder blades. Following the movement of her spine, he kissed down her back before snapping his hips forward once more to bring them together again allowing all of him to sink into her. “We’d be dead with the way you’re reacting.”

“We’re not out there, we’re here,” she licked her lips, cooing out with the feeling of him inside of her. “You feel so big inside of me. Why don’t you lighten up and use that cock of yours to make me cry. I bet your proud of the sounds you’re making come out of me.”

“I’d almost be offended if you weren’t making them,” Joel quipped nipping at her shoulder. Squeezing his arm around her waist had his bicep flexing while he brought her back against him with every thrust forward he made inside of her.

With her warmth surrounding him and contracting around his thick length, he found himself getting lost in the moment. Each movement was fueled on what felt good in that moment and he was craving every second of it. His breathing got louder, but he wasn’t exactly giving in to being verbal with her. With a firm smack forward of his hips, he had her crawling forward, but his hips followed her movements. Hooking his fingers into her hair, he kept her where she was and gazed down at him inside of her. Her arousal was coating his body and it made him lick his lips. The fact he had held off this long on getting intimate with someone even surprised him. Another whine fell from her lips with him leaving himself stagnant inside of her.

Pressing his chest up against her back, he reached to hook his fingers with hers. Squeezing them firmly, he took his time rolling his hips behind her. With each soft smack of his skin against hers, his thrusts became somewhat quicker and just a bit harder. In no time, he had her crying out his name with her fingers hooking tighter to his while he pounded into her from behind. It was obvious that Joel was a very physical person. The way he had sex showed that.

“Almost there,” he coached her with his teeth nibbling at her earlobe with him making sure to be closer to her. The wet smacking sounds filled the kitchen and he hoped that he wasn’t being so loud with Y/N that it would draw Ellie’s attention from his backyard.

“Joel,” she whimpered, her eyes slamming shut when she pushed up on her toes but he didn’t allow her to pull away from him when she orgasmed. Joel longed to feel that sweet, intoxicating sensation of her body contracting around his while she shook. The noises she made had him smiling, but there was still that longing he had to come. It had been so long since he had a release and now that he was on the edge of building himself up to it, he was desperate to get it. “Please…please let me see you.”

“Uh…” Joel lifted his head to look around the kitchen before finally pulling back and away. When his solid length pulled from her warmth, he watched her shudder while taking a minute laid out across the counter to try to calm her breathing. Grabbing a chair, Joel pulled it out from the table and lowered down onto it. Stretching out his legs, he tapped his thigh and motioned her to come to him. “I’m all ready for you.”

Pushing herself up onto her feet, it felt like her legs were Jell-O with the high that Joel had given her body by absolutely having his way with her. Taking a moment to stare out at his body while he was stretched out in the wooden chair, she couldn’t help but have her throat go dry looking at him, “This is the moment where I wish I was an artist of some kind. You are perfection.”

“Stop,” Joel snorted, looking down at his body. The prominent thing that stood out to him was the scar that was left from his injury over his lower abdomen. Letting out a shuddering breath, Joel felt Y/N bracing herself over him while her hands grabbed at the back of the chair. Biting into his bottom lip, Joel tipped his head to the side and cleared his throat. “You’re the beautiful one.”

“I think everything about you is amazing,” she took her time, resting her weight against Joel’s thighs while she got comfortable over him and just started caressing over his body. It made a lump develop in his throat at how delicate she was and how attentive she was to every part of him. Sliding her hands down over his broad shoulders, she took her time to appreciate the flesh before palming down over his chest and toward his lower abdomen. When her fingertips touched at the puckered healing flesh over his body, it made him uncomfortable and she could see that he was uneasy about it. “It shows how strong you are. Don’t be ashamed of your scars. It shows the world how hard you fought to stay here. You’re the strongest man I know Joel.”

“Yeah?” Joel felt vulnerable in that moment. His Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and his chocolate brown eyes were hooked on hers. With a nod, she pressed in to hover her lips over his making Joel lick his lips. There was a want to be kissed. This whole time he had been arrogant. Wanting a certain thing from her and that was pleasure. Something he had been lacking for so very long, but with her touching him and saying the things that she was he found himself in awe of the woman over him. “I’m deeply flawed Y/N.”

“I can help fix you,” she hushed him, leaning forward to meet his lips in a longing kiss that took her breath away. For so long she had been swooning over Joel and the fact she was sharing such an intimate moment with him made her feel special.

“There is no fixing me, I was broken a very long time ago,” he grunted against her lips when he felt her reaching between them. Taking her time, she lowered and led him back toward her entrance and allowed herself to get used to him inside of her again with that beautiful stretching feeling. Wincing, Joel tipped his head back, his hands caressing all over her body. With a cry, she bit down at her bottom lip and tipped her head back. Her fingers braced over his abdomen while she was meticulous in the way she bounced her hips over his. Having her like this made things more intimate. It brought them closer together and maybe when he brought her back here, he did think that it would just be a booty call but having her in this way made his view change of her. It was clear she had a way bigger crush on him than he did her, but he had always found her beautiful. There was just that whole problem of getting intimate with others. After everything that he lost, Joel never wanted to get close to people and it took a lot. Even his relationship with Ellie was hard, but he was doing the best he could to open himself up. With a grunt, his fingers squeezed at her hip and he was sure it would have likely left a mark. “I am what I am.”

“You have to be willing to let others in,” she reached for Joel’s hands, lifting them up to press them back against the top of the chair. Tipping forward, her lips hovered over his and Joel’s chocolate-colored eyes were focused on hers. Her movements had become steady. When she found something that Joel visibly liked she kept at it. So desperately she wanted him to break down the walls that he was holding to enjoy himself, but he stayed quiet. An occasional faint moan fell from his lips which she considered a small victory for herself. What really was her reward in all of this was the way his eyes stayed locked with hers with the muscle in his jaw flexing. It was the most connected she had been with him all night. With a faint rumble, Joel’s eyes rolled back to a close with his head resting back against the chair. The way she was riding him was obviously something he was enjoying and she brought their lips together. “Let go Joel…”

A shuddering exhale escaped his lips, his brow line creasing when she felt him throbbing inside of her. His hips bucked up toward her to chase that release and she mewled out into his mouth feeling the warmth of his release inside of her. Their fingers were hooked together when she lowered them back down. Joel’s eyes lazily opened and he started kissing down over her jawline and toward her neck.

“Was that okay for you?” she searched for any kind of praise from Joel, wincing when he nipped at her flesh. It was almost like he was marking her as his own and she liked it. Joel’s rough palms were caressing up and over her back toward her shoulders and back down again where Joel grasped her ass firmly.

“More than,” Joel answered her, enjoying the way that she touched him and caressed over his scalp. “Thank you, I needed that. Very much.”

That night she didn’t leave his home. They spent the rest of it together just drinking coffee and talking. By morning when she had to go to work, she didn’t want to leave him. Joel wasn’t someone who talked much exactly and it took a lot to get it out of him, but she did her best. Thing was, she wanted to be with him all the time when they were free. And he didn’t exactly turn her down.

Not long after their first night together Joel realized that they were spending a lot of their free time together so he asked her to move in with him. It made more sense being together than having her house just sitting there. It freed it up for another family in the future to take and it was nice to have someone else to share his home with. Things weren’t as quiet anymore and that was a good thing. It was everything she could have wanted in getting closer to Joel.

A year had passed with them living together and while Y/N was happy, Joel had been very upfront and honest with her from the start. Since that day they got together, he never called her his girlfriend. He never told her that he loved her. There was a severe lack of affection, one that she thought she could fix, but she wasn’t sure that Joel was capable. After a year of trying she realized that it was likely never going to come.  

They shared a house together and bed, but even now as they were lying in bed together Joel was at the opposite end of the bed turned in the direction away from her. Gazing back over her shoulder, Y/N longed to have Joel hold her. There was a desperation to be cuddled. Joel’s arms and chest were so nice, but he was so cold to anything like that. So many times she had told him she loved him, but he would often blow it off with a grunt. He hated using those words and often told her that it was rushing things. At the beginning of this relationship, she was hopeful. It had been a year, why would she be rushing things with love? They were living together. They shared their life together. It felt real to her.  

At this point, it just felt like they were roommates. Two people that were together so they weren’t alone. They would just go about their day, come home and maybe talk about it before going to bed again. They were two people that occasionally had sex that honestly lacked intimacy in so many ways. Regardless of how many times Joel turned her down with affection, it didn’t stop her from trying. She was determined that one day she would be able to get Joel to change for her. She wanted to believe that. She had to believe that.

Looking over her shoulder again, she could see that Joel was shaking in his sleep. He was having a nightmare and she let out a long sigh. Turning over, she scoot toward his side of the bed and wrapped her arms around him. It calmed his body having her comfort him like that. Nuzzling her nose at the bottom of his neck, she felt him opening up to the idea of her holding onto him. Hooking her fingers with his, she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand feeling Joel squeezing her hand in his.

Joel’s breathing changed showing that he had waken up and she pressed a loving kiss against his cheek, “I love you, so much.”

Joel said nothing, just scoot back in closer to her to have her hold him tighter in her grasps. She assumed that he was trying to pretend that he was still sleeping, but she knew his breathing. After a year you got to learn the person you shared a home and a bed with. There was a longing in her heart that hurt. In her eyes, Joel was perfect. He was everything to her, but she wished that some nights he would do this with her. Hold her in his arms and whisper sweet nothings to her.

All of Jackson knew that they were living together. It wasn’t like there was a person that didn’t know they were with one another. But Joel still had a whole lot of issues showing that intimacy. Hand holding in public wasn’t for him. Kissing seemed to embarrass him around others. So everything was behind closed doors. Y/N was in love, Joel was comfortable. There was a huge difference in the way they acted toward one another. She thought they were in a relationship, but by the way Joel acted she wondered if he just thought they were really close friends with benefits.  

In time, Joel’s breathing went back to what it was when he was asleep and she felt her throat tightening. Just once she wanted to hear him say that he loved her. That he cared about her. That life wouldn’t be the same without her. Yet, she got none of those things. He told her that he liked her. That he enjoyed her company. That life was no longer boring or lonely because of her, but honestly? She was extremely lonely and it was the worst feeling in the world. To love someone so much and feel like they didn’t feel the same was soul crushing. But she forced her emotions down. She loved Joel so much that she couldn’t picture not having him in her life.  

She lived for moments like these. At least Joel let her comfort and console him. Getting to touch him was the greatest gift that she could have, but she didn’t know what to do anymore to try to get Joel to be affectionate with her. She was becoming touch starved. She wanted that emotional connection with Joel, but he wasn’t giving in. She was surprised that he okayed her moving in with him in the first place because he really liked having his own space. Sometimes she thought he did it just to appease her. To give her something since she so desperately wanted to feel anything more from him.

Joel had opened up to her about Sarah and vaguely talked about Tess. It was Tommy that had really kept her in the loop with things. And it was because of Tommy that she never gave up on Joel. Tommy promised her time and time again that Joel cared for her. That it would just take time. That Joel needed someone not to give up on him and damnit, she was trying. Harder than she had ever tried before in any relationship.

The best moments they shared together were those that were spent with Ellie. Ellie got Joel to relax, to the best of his ability really. It was amazing what that kid could do to change Joel around. When they were all together, it was the only time they really felt like a family. There were hopes that if Ellie found a way to love Y/N that Joel would soon too. It was just taking longer than expected. Y/N never wasted a minute with Joel in letting him know how she felt about him. And she hoped that in time, he would learn to feel the same way about her as she did him.

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