#she knows. Almost everyone she knows would never refer to the islanders as people.

[keischreiber]

Talking to @levi-ackerman-ds about how Kristina would be absolutely horrified the first time she sees Zeke being milked of his Spinal Fluid.

It's not enough that Marley is using children and the Eldians for their stupid war; she has to suffer seeing the first Eldian friend she made go through this spinal fluid extraction just so that the Eldians can be weaponized.

Leaves a bitter taste in her mouth that she can't do anything about it. Well, not right now at least. Not alone.

[avocadorablepirate]

What Do We Call This? - 08

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Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Summary: On a quest to find what you've been looking for, you acquire the help of the Straw Hat pirates, who've agreed to let you temporarily join them. There are however many challenges that come along with your temporary recruitment - an alliance with a certain Trafalgar Law being one of them.

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn, swearing, the occasional OP spoiler (this chapter references/hints at events that happen after the Wano arc)

A/N: Chapter's longer than usual, but I still hope it doesn't feel rushed cause I think I could have added more....but it is what it is. Also, my memory of the older One Piece episodes isn't great, so I may have changed a few things and added my own bits. Anyway, I hope you like it!

—⁠☆✿☆—⁠

It's been four days since your argument with Law. The tension between you two is thick, and everyone onboard the Polar Tang can sense it too. Although, you're not even trying to be subtle with your decision to ignore him, so it's no surprise that people have noticed.

You could be in the middle of a meal, but would walk out the minute Law entered the room. If you were conversing with someone and he approached, you would abruptly end the conversation and walk away. In short, Law could never seem to get a moment alone with you, but even if he did, he wasn't sure what he would say. His mind is flooded with questions and things he wants to tell you, but he's uncertain where to begin. More than anything, your last words haunt him, replaying in his mind at the slightest thought of you, which is almost constantly.

Usually when Law finds himself overwhelmed by such thoughts, he confines himself to his room, his work helping as a distraction. But right now he's needed on deck since the Polar Tang had stopped at an island to refuel. However, with the way he's pacing back and forth, lost in a maze of his thoughts and emotions, he's not being of much help.

"Something bothering you Tra?" Zoro inquires, a hint of amusement lacing his words as he observes the doctor's preoccupied demeanor with a bemused expression. He leans against the railing, crossing his arms as he waits for Law's response, his curiosity piqued by the unusual display of distraction from the typically stoic pirate.

Law, however, remains oblivious to Zoro's jest, his focus shifting instead to Robin. If he was going to talk to you he needed to understand you, and since you were not speaking to him, Robin was the next logical choice for insight, as you always appeared most comfortable in her presence.

"Nico-ya, what do you know about (Y/N)'s past?"

His question surprises Robin, and she momentarily hesitates before responding , "Hmm... we're not entirely sure about what happened before she reached Fishman Island, but from what she's told us we know that at the age of five she left her island and a month later was found by a Marine agent who took her in. Now she's looking for that island."

"Why was she stuck on Fishman Island for so long?" Law asks, remembering that you had mentioned being there for nearly four years.

Robin visibly frowns, she knows the answer to that question, but she's not sure whether it's her place to tell him. However, Zoro interjects before she can contemplate further.

"She was being held captive by a Fishman named Hody."

Law recalls the name, and the story behind it. Chopper had briefly told him about the ordeal in Fishman Island. However, the reindeer had either forgotten or chosen not to mention this key piece of information.

"What would he make her do?" Law felt agitated, did he really want to know the answer to that question? Based on what he had heard, he had a vague idea already, but he hoped his suspicions were wrong.

"He would make her use her powers to torture humans, and the rest of the time she was handcuffed with sea prism cuffs."

Robin's reply has Law feeling uneasy, his grip on his katana tightening, "But that would have hurt-", he cuts himself off before he can divulge your secret.

"That's why she's so keen on helping people. She doesn't necessarily have to use her powers to hurt people anymore."

Law's thoughts raced with everything he had just heard. If you didn't approve of using your powers to hurt people why had you used them to help him in Punk Hazard? What else had you been through that he didn't know about?, and the question that gnawed at him the most: was he the reason you were alone through it all? Had he taken Corazon away from you?

Law swiftly excused himself from the group, desperate for the solace of his room. He needed to sit down. No, he needed to find you. But, you had gone out with Bepo to help restock the Polar Tang, and it was unlikely that you would willingly talk to him. Nevertheless, he had made up his mind - he would speak to you one way or another. But how?

He then recalls something. Every night, once everyone else was asleep, you would sneak your way to the infirmary. However, for Law, who stayed up well into the early hours of the next day, your tiptoeing past his room did not go unnoticed. He would intercept you during one of your midnight visits to the infirmary.

_______________________________________________

That night, Law sat by his door, patiently anticipating your arrival. Around one o'clock, he heard your footsteps as you passed by his room. Peeking through the small gap, he confirmed it was you before silently trailing behind. Upon reaching the infirmary, he found you struggling to wrap gauze around your torso while grumbling to yourself about it. Seizing the opportunity, Law stealthily entered and closed the door, which let out a loud creak, startling you. You nearly stumbled but caught yourself on the surgical bed, though your elbow collided with its metal frame.

You wince from the impact but swiftly attempt to regain your composure, desperate to save yourself from the situation as soon as possible. However, escape seemed futile with Law leaning against the door, effectively blocking your only exit. Damn it, if only I had his powers.

"Law I really don't want to talk to you right now. So, please just leave me alone."

You couldn't quite pinpoint the reason, but you felt your eyes welling up with tears. Perhaps it was the lingering pain in your elbow or the weight of suppressed emotions. Nonetheless, you do your best to hold back the tears, biting down on your lip to stop it from quivering.

Ignoring your words, Law slowly approaches you, and for a moment you think of making a run for it. But you knew even without his devil fruit all it would take was his outstretched arm to stop you.

"Sit," he says, and you find yourself complying to his command. He takes the leftover gauze from your hand, and undoes your careless bandaging. Lightly tracing the bruises as he applies an ointment, he looks up to make sure he isn't hurting you before meticulously wrapping the gauze around your torso. He doesn't say a word, and neither do you, averting your gaze, so that you wouldn't have to meet his eyes that continue to glance at you from time to time.

"It should be healed completely by the time we reach Wano," he finally says, securing the end of the bandage and fixing it in a few places before taking a step back.

"I know you don't want anyone else seeing your bruises, and you really shouldn't be changing the bandages yourself," he pauses, thinking over his next words, "So, every night, at around the same time, come here and I'll change them for you."

He doesn't give you time to respond, the blue light enveloping you and teleporting you back to your bed.

Over the next few days you fall into a routine. You go to the infirmary at around one in the morning and find Law already there, waiting for you. Once you're seated on the surgical bed, he removes the old bandages, examines your wounds, applies an ointment, and then wraps them up again. But, the routine is always accompanied by silence, and it's not a completely comfortable one. That being said, the tension between you and Law has definitely simmered down. For starters you don't immediately walk out of a room the minute he walks in.

Tonight is no different from the previous nights - except that the silence is eating at you. Ever since Law had started doing this little gesture for you, the weight of guilt from your earlier words to him has only grown heavier, and tonight it feels particularly suffocating. You know you have to address it, but you're so consumed by your thoughts that you don't even notice Law finishing up. It's the soft blue light that finally draws your attention.

"Law wait!" you yell with a sense of urgency, and his head snaps up to look at you, the dome disappearing.

"Everything alright?" he asks, looking you up and down with concern.

"Yes...well actually no. I wanted to apologise. I'm sorry about what I said, I shouldn't have. You've been through so much shit and I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn't even think before being so fucking insensitive," you confess, nervously fiddling with your fingers. Unsure of what else to say, you continue speaking, hoping to alleviate some of the guilt weighing on you.

Law releases a heavy sigh, bringing an end to your rambling. Slowly, he approaches you, silently seeking permission to sit beside you. You give a slight nod, and he settles into the vacant space beside you.

"I was at fault too. I shouldn't have said what I said without even considering your reasons," he lets out another sigh, placing his head in his hands as he continues, "When I realised that you somehow knew Cora-san, I felt protective. Like if I let anything happen to you I would lose what's left of him, or I would lose something he was trying to protect."

Law felt vulnerable. Opening up to others was unfamiliar, something he actively avoided. It was simpler to suppress his emotions than to burden someone else with them. Yet, now he realized he wasn't alone in this sentiment. Perhaps that's why you found it easier to be vulnerable around him as well.

"It must have been hard huh?" you ask, but don't expect a response, "I was devastated when they brought his body back, but it must have been so much more worse for you," you say, inwardly cringing at your attempt to console him.

"I'm sorry. You lost him because of me."

You release a sigh at his admission, feeling frustrated that you couldn't find the right words to ease his pain. Your mind races, desperately searching for the next thing to say. You couldn't mess up again.

"I was playing in this cove when it happened. The sky changed colour, and there was this weird light coming from above. My parents who were with me quickly put me in a small boat and told me to row as fast as I could to the next island, promising to meet me there. I did as I was told, but I was so focused on getting away I didn't even see how the island just completely disappeared in seconds. The harsh current that followed knocked me out and when I woke up I was on the island my parents had told me about. While I was there nobody could afford to take me in, but they were kind enough to leave me their leftovers. Although it was pointless. I had given up. I refused to eat, or do anything for that matter." You take a deep breath as you recall the memory of the scraps of food that would lay untouched in the cold alleyway that you called 'home' for a while.

"Then, almost a month later Cora-san found me. Apparently the Donquixote family was on the same island, and he was supposed to make contact with Doflamingo for the first time after their separation. Instead, he chose to take me back to Marine Headquarters, and I was an absolute brat about it," you let out a soft chuckle, remembering how you had shoved Corazon and then attempted to run away, "I even threatened to eat a devil fruit that he had found during his mission. Obviously, he didn't think I would actually do it. Hence, the weird powers," you pause to stretch your arms out, flexing your fingers, before continuing. "But he still wouldn't abandon me. Even told Sengoku that he had accidentally dropped the fruit into the sea. Which was honestly possible considering what he was like," you add, another chuckle escaping you, accompanied by a faint laugh from beside you.

"He took care of me for the next couple of years, and he became my only reason to continue. I would eagerly wait for him to come back from a mission and recount his adventures to me." You smile fondly at the memory, remembering the little trinkets he would bring back for you every time.

"One day he came back after visiting Doflamingo and he told me about this boy who tried to kill him. I was absolutely livid, but he seemed to have found it funny," you take a break to catch your breath, taking a quick glance at Law before continuing, "He would tell me about the same boy every time he came back from meeting the Donquixote family, and it honestly made me a little jealous. I didn't want to share him with anyone." You once again look at Law, and there's a hint of a smile across his face, and you can't help but smile to yourself, "Then one day he called Sengoku and said he would be gone for a while and wanted to speak to me about it. I immediately knew it was for this other kid, and threw a huge tantrum. But all he said was that this boy needed someone to help him find his reason to live. Needed someone to free him. Save for the sniffling, my tantrum stopped after hearing his words. Because who better than Cora-san to get the job done. The same person who had given me my reason to live."

Law finally looks at you, his lips contorting into a frown while you bite down on your own to prevent a sob from escaping.

"I took him away from you. You should despise me."

"There was a point where I did. I blamed you for what Doflamingo did. Though it faded over the years. Then when I saw you at Punk Hazard I realised that I didn't hold that grudge any longer, and it's because it dawned on me that what Cora-san wanted had come true. We had both found our reasons to keep living."

You try your best to offer Law a smile. It had been ages since you had spoken to someone about Corazon, and remembering everything all at once was overwhelming. Still, Law accepted your attempt and gave you a small smile in return.

"My reason was just to get revenge," he says, tilting his head back as he lets out a sigh of frustration.

"No, I don't think so," you firmly state as you lean against the wall behind you, not taking your gaze away from him. "I know that's what I said, but I didn't mean it. I think you found other reasons - your crew, wanting to find out the meaning behind the name 'D'. Maybe they weren't your initial reasons, but along the way they became reasons too."

Law's eyes drift shut, repeating your words in his mind, his reasons. They do so much to calm him - his reasons to live....Perhaps, just perhaps, he can entertain the notion of finding another one.

The silence between you two shifts to a comfortable one, and Law finds himself savouring the moment, allowing himself to momentarily forget the weight of his burdens. As he relishes in the peace, he feels the soft fabric of something against his palm, and he opens his eyes to see what it is. It's the dark pink hood you've always worn.

"I've had it for long enough, and I think he would have wanted you to have something of his." Law gazes fondly at the pink hat in his hand, twirling the straps with the little hearts at the end around his finger, when he's reminded of something.

"Come with me," he says, sitting up straight and you're slightly confused by his words, "Where?" But he doesn't say anything else, teleporting the two of you with the flick of his fingers.

You find yourself in a bedroom, standing in front of what you assume to be Law's study table; you can't really tell with all the sheets of paper that are thrown everywhere. While Law rummages through the drawers of his table looking for something, you take a moment to survey his room. It's sparsely furnished, with a bed shoved into one corner, a bookshelf overflowing with assorted items near its base, and this table that sits against the opposite wall.

"Here," Law says, holding a brown leather pouch in front of you, urging you to take it.

"What is it?"

"Cora-san left it with me that night. I think it was meant for you."

You both sit down on opposite ends of Law's bed, and you carefully empty the contents of the pouch onto his mattress. Out falls various little trinkets, and your breath catches in a mixture of surprise and fascination.

"At the time I didn't really know why he would insist on stopping at atleast one store in every village we went to, but I guess he was collecting them for you."

You're flooded by a wave of emotions, that you don't even think before you tackle Law into a hug. The sudden movement catches him off guard, causing him to lose his balance and hit his back against the headboard. As you both settle, your head finds a resting place against his chest, his hands instinctively gripping your waist to steady you.

It takes a bit longer than expected for the realization of your proximity to sink in, but you're the first to react, pushing yourself off him and jumping to your feet. "Sorry, I must be tipsy from drinking with Zoro. I should probably head back to bed, thanks for these," you quickly say, shoving the trinkets back into the pouch before you scurry off.

"Tipsy? I don't think so. I know what tipsy you is like," Law teases, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Huh? What do you mean?" you inquire, pausing in your retreat, eyebrows knit in confusion.

"If anything, you're more truthful when you're tipsy, and maybe a bit bold."

"How would you know?"

"How else would I have known that you knew Cora-san."

Your face flushes with embarrassment as the wheels slowly turn. You recall the party on Bartolomeo's ship, and the splitting headache you woke up with the next morning that had made you forget most of the events of the previous night.

"Um...I should go," you stammer, attempting to retreat from his room once more.

"No, stay," Law mumbles, and you wouldn't have heard him if he was any softer.

"I want to talk some more," he says, rubbing the nape of his neck while avoiding your gaze, "On-only if you want to that is."

"I would like that."

A smile threatens to spread across your face as you return to the same spot on the bed, this time with your back against the wall and your head resting on your knees. Law shifts closer, mirroring your position, his head pressed against the wall as he gazes at you fondly.

"So..."

"So..."

_______________________________________________

A/N: Ended it the same way I would have ended any conversation I didn't know how to keep going ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠_⁠˘⁠)⁠┌.

taglist: @trafalgardaria @deathsmajestysworld @cottoncandyloverrrr @magnificenttaledreamland

[polariscroquis]

The last study I did on my Arthurian Legend character concepts: the woman herself, Guinevere.

As I stated before, I'm following more the 5th century, fighting saxons on the bloody fields of Britain praying to pagan gods, rather than the very Catholic version of the later medieval retellings.

Therefore, my Guinevere is very much pagan and tough hahahaha for a guy like Arthur to fall madly in love with her - and a guy like Lancelot too, of all the men in that island - she had to be one hell of a woman.

I always imagined her with fiery hair, very tall and athletic even, with killer eyes - so here she is.

More on her design and how her character fits in my personal take of the Arthurian Legend, under the cut!

Regarding the colors I chose for her, I went with a darker blue and gold to give her that regal look she would certainly have - also this tone of blue contrasts with her coppery hair, so I thought it would look good!

She has two versions, because one would be Court Guinevere while the other would be War Guinevere - both of them keep the cape, because I wanted something to be "constant" on her design. Also, the cape sort of gives her this imposing look, again something regal.

I remember watching George Lucas talking about how Anakin always wore a larger and darker cape/coat than other Jedis on the prequels so he would have that signature Darth Vader silhouette and imposing presence - given Hayden Christensen is taller than almost everyone in the movie xD I took that to heart and gave it to Guinevere 🖤

Now, from what I know, 5th century dresses weren't TOO filled with details as later medieval fashion, so I couldn't go crazy on her design here. I ended up using that wonderful painting, Accolade, as a reference for clothes.

With her war clothes, a little more complicated. Ended up searching for Jeanne D'arc references because I didn't want to have her look like King Arthur 2005's war Guinevere even though I LOVE those clothes.

Since she's a woman, it would make sense back then people would want her to stay as far away from slaughter as possible, so she has a bow. Everything is moon shaped with her, though, as a nod to the Great Goddesses, as well as the Goddess of the Hunt herself, Artemis.

Now on my take on how her character fits in my Arthurian world hahahaha

Guinevere loves Arthur a LOT. With Lancelot, though, both have their pagan upbringings and she doesn't have much of the moral compass Arthur has - she leans more on the Lancelot morality spectrum. She is a fighter, a queen, a woman with fire on her soul and enough intelligence to run entire kingdoms and destroy empires: and that's why both have fallen for her, even if she has eyes for only one of them.

While Lancelot has the charms, Arthur has the soul. Arthur can give her a safe place to fall and he can command a whole country like no one else - Guinevere admires that. And she is too great to be with a man she doesn't admire; she's never going to put herself down for a man. She needs to be with someone who meets her in equality.

Not that Lancelot doesn't, but all that ability to run kingdoms and such is not in him - even if he is prince of Benoic. Lancelot rather fight for someone like Arthur than command his own battles himself. He is a very good friend - probably the best friend Guinevere will ever have, given how everything she is also attracts envy from both men and women alike - but she wouldn't take him as a lover.

She will command kingdoms and fight in armies by Arthur's side, even if he doesn't want it - although Arthur is too proud and in love to ask Guinevere to be anything else than she is. They are indeed a power couple, and that, my friends, attracts all kinds of enemies - outside and inside the court.

That is MY personal take on Guinevere: a woman with too many abilities, too much willpower and intelligence, a fierce fighter and a cunning queen; the only one who could sweep the legendary Arthur off his feet - and that attracts the same amount of envy as admiration.

[hunnythebee]

Jealousy

Recent events between Phee and Tech have you feeling... well to put it bluntly, have you feeling jealous.

2.4k words - first person - gender neutral

Tags: Reader x Tech, GN Reader (let me know if I used anything gender specific and I will edit it out), Jealous!Reader, Best Friend!Hunter, mild spoilers for Season 2 Episode 13, pining, angst, fluff, love confessions, kissing

I would like to preface this by stating for the record, I am in no way against the direction they are going with Tech and Phee. I love that they are leading toward a canon romance (or at the very least hinting at it). However, posts made by people voicing their own opinions have inspired me to write this because I've never written a jealous!reader before and it sounded fun. Now that that’s out of the way, enjoy!

I had been cordial, friendly even with Phee. She was decent… for a pirate. Not that we had been much better in recent times, so who was I to judge? But what had me sucking at my teeth while I glared from my seat behind Tech was the way she was touching him. So familiar. And this nickname she had for him always made my stomach twist. ‘Brown eyes.’ How creative of her. I shouldn’t be so mad at her. She was going to help us afterall. Stars I just… I can’t figure out why she rubs the wrong way so hard.

I was silent as the dead the whole trip to wherever she was taking us. I hadn’t realized I was clenching my jaw until it unclenched. My whole mouth fell slack at the sight of this small island civilization. Beautiful blue waters surrounded a mountain dotted with small white huts. It looked so peaceful, so serene. Tech landed the Maurauder at the peak of the mountain, where there stood a tall tree and an even taller temple-like structure. As I stepped out of the ship the warm sun hit my skin and I sighed in relief. My seething anger melted away from me almost instantly.

A man, whom Phee referred to as Shep appeared on the platform, along with a young girl. She hugged the man, which made my anger melt even more. Maybe this was her husband and child? Maybe she’s just really friendly by nature. Then I overheard Wrecker make a joking comment towards Tech.

“Looks like you’ve got some competition.” He nudged Tech with his elbow to emphasize the remark. I bit my cheek and rolled my eyes, a gesture Hunter couldn’t help but notice. I relaxed a little when I took notice of Tech’s utter confusion towards Wrecker’s remark as he lowered his datapad. Phee then introduced Shep to us as the mayor of this island, Pabu, and his daughter Lyanna. Phee proceeded to list us off by name, Omega, myself, Hunter, Wrecker, and then Tech. My anger flared back up just a little when she saved Tech’s name for last, but I quickly attempted to stomp out the internal flame. Hunter was giving me a side eye, which meant I wasn’t quick enough about it.

After the introductions were made, Shep invited us all to eat with them at his home. As we were leaving the platform, Phee stated that she would catch up. Tech lingered behind the group, she said something to him and left. He turned around smiling and proceeded to catch up. I noticed his grin and his body language when they were talking, and I felt twinge. It wasn’t anger or hatred. This was something else entirely. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t realized that I was becoming a straggler, lingering so far behind the group that I couldn’t hear what any of them were saying. It didn’t matter. My heart pounded in my ears and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I didn’t want to feel like this, not when everyone else was so happy. Yet here I was, turning green with jealousy. Worse yet, I couldn’t understand why. I turned my head to look out at the water as I walked, hoping the view would calm me as it had before. I was so focused that I didn’t notice Hunter blocking my path until it was too late.

I would have walked square into his chest if he hadn’t grabbed me by the shoulder with a gentle, yet firm hand. The contact startled me and I let out a small yell and clutched my chest.

“Hunter! You nerf-herder nearly gave me a heart attack,” I exclaimed. 

He was silent for a moment and then responded with a simple, “Your heart’s fine. Your head is what I’m concerned about.”

I tried to feign confusion. I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I was hoping if I acted dumb he wouldn’t pry. As usual, it didn’t work. He shouted up to the rest of the group that we would catch up in a minute, then turned his attention back to me.

“Talk to me. What’s going on? You’ve been off all day.” He was looking at me with that sincere concerned look he gets, and I knew I couldn’t hide what was bothering me. I sighed and fell against the wall to my right.

“It’s… Phee.” I started, struggling to get the words out.

“I figured out that much,” he stood in front of me, folding his arms over his chest. “The question is why does she make you so angry?”

I froze. My heart dropped into my stomach. I knew why. I had figured it out moments before the collision with Hunter. I wasn’t ready to say yet. Not fully.

“Because…” I hesitated, looking everywhere but Hunter’s eyes.

“Because?” He echoed.

I sighed heavily. I couldn’t say it. I physically couldn’t make the words take form, despite them being right on the tip of my tongue. I was struggling and he could tell. He stepped closer to me and I felt a caloused hand touch my cheek carefully. I finally let myself look at him. He had this knowing look on his face.

“Do you need me to say it for you?” He asked. I bit my lip and shook my head in agreement. There was no way of knowing if he actually knew what was running through my mind, but it did always kind of feel like he could read minds sometimes.

“You’re in love with Tech.”

He stated it so easily. Like it wasn’t the most planet shattering phrase in the galaxy. Tears welled in my eyes and I whispered a barely audible, “Yes.”

Hunter pulled me into a tight hug as the tears began to fall, and then the verbal floodgates released.

“I can’t stand it, Hunter. Seeing the two of them together. She’s always flirting with him. Touching him or calling ‘Brown Eyes.” What kind of kriffing nickname is that anyways? ‘Brown Eyes’? You all have brown eyes! At least be more original than that! But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is the way he looks at her. He would never look at me like that…”

“That you’ve seen…” Hunter mutters under his breath. I pull away and stare at him with a furrowed brow.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned.

“Nothing. I think you should talk to Tech. Tell him how you feel. If he feels the same then you can stop feeling so jealous. If he doesn’t… then at least you have closure.” He grabs my shoulder one last time and gives it a squeeze. “Think about it over dinner, okay?”

“Okay…” I responded.

I gathered myself and we headed toward the home of the Mayor. Dinner felt… long. Scratch that. It felt like an eternity. Phee was her usual self, and Tech seemed to actually be enjoying it. I felt sick. I couldn’t eat anymore. I stood up from the table abruptly and excused myself. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, but I needed to get away from there. I decided to go back to the ship. I raced up the steps as fast as my legs would carry me. I don’t even think I was halfway there before I got winded and had to stop for breath. I felt far enough away that I could at least take my time now. I decided to take a break to watch the sunset, hoping that it would make me feel better. It was sort of working to calm my nerves, until I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I turned my head to catch a glimpse of Tech, running up the steps towards me. His long legs carried him up two or three steps at a time. My heart raced and I panicked. I couldn’t face him like this. I turned quickly from him and began sprinting back up the steps, with him in tow and gaining. I was already exhausted from booking it up the steps before and my endurance was nothing compared to a clone’s, so it was a given that he was going to eventually catch up to me. I at least managed to get to the landing second to the top before he got to me. He caught my hand in his and my heart leapt inside my chest.

He was breathing hard from the exertion, “What…is…going…on?” He spoke, panting between his words.

“Just…leave…me…alone.” I panted back. I pulled my hand from his, despite wanting to keep it there forever. I tried to move to continue my climb, but I was too slow. His hands pressed into my shoulders and shoved me against the wall. My eyes widened at the show of brute force he was exhibiting. It wasn’t like him to use his strength like this. I had almost forgotten that, despite his differing physique, he was meant to be as strong as any other clone. There was escaping now, but I could still refuse to look in his eyes. If I did, I was sure I would break.

“Why are you running from me?” He still sounded exhausted, but his voice was like music to me. I sighed deeply and looked up at the sky, anything but his eyes. He lowered his head and continued to speak.

“Hunter…said I should be the one to come after you,” he admitted.

“That mud-scuffer…” I muttered.

Tech laughed, it was dry and tired, but it gave me chills. I was breaking already and I wasn’t even looking at him.

“Why didn’t he want me to catch you? Why are you running? And why… why won’t you look at me?” I could hear pain in his voice. I didn’t want to cause him pain. That was the last thing I wanted. I bit into my lower lip and finally met his stare. His eyes were filled with worry. He was looking straight into mine and I felt it. I was breaking. There was nothing stopping it.

“Please…” I pleaded with him in one last feeble attempt. “Please Tech… don’t.”

“I know something is wrong…” He ignored my pleas. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

He was right. I am usually so open with him, so why should this be any different. Just tell him how I feel, be rejected and move on. Like Hunter said.

“I…” I start, but lose my train of thought when I look into his eyes. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. Just say it already.

“I love you.”

My heart was pounding so loudly I wasn’t sure if he had responded and I couldn’t hear him, or if he was being unusually silent. I couldn’t bear to look at him. I didn’t want to see his eyes, the look of betrayal over my confession. Or the confusion. I couldn’t take it. I just wanted him to tell me doesn’t feel the same way so this could all be over. Finally I felt movement, his hands left my shoulders. I still didn’t dare look at him, keeping my eyes shut tight and my head against the wall. Still nothing from him. Maybe he left. I finally decided to open my eyes, to see if he truly had just walked away. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

He was standing in front of me, looking magnificent with the sunset behind him. His hands were limp at his sides. I took my time working my way to his eyes. Wanting to avoid the moment for just a little longer. His mouth hung open slightly in shock. Finally I made it to his eyes, but they didn’t have the look I had been expecting. There was shock, which was to be expected, but something else. Something… contemplative.

“Tech, I–” I began, but the moment I spoke he moved in towards me. His hands found my neck and jaw, much softer than Hunter’s were, and fitting there perfectly as if they were made to hold me. Tech’s body was pressed completely against mine, with one of his legs tucked between mine. His face wasn’t even an inch from mine, as he nuzzled my nose with his own. My breath hitched in my throat as he spoke. His voice was still familiar, but the tone was foreign. He spoke low and with a heat I had never heard come from him before.

“Say it again,” he requested.

“I– I love you, Tech,” I confessed once more, as I leaned into his hand. And then his lips were on mine. Soft and gentle, patiently waiting for me to confirm that this action was okay. I kissed him back, pressing into him and reveling in this moment. He hummed happily and deepened the kiss. We continued like this till the sun had set completely. Finally we broke apart for air and he pressed his forehead to mine.

I needed to hear him say the words. So I leaned back, wanting to see him say it. Then I breathlessly asked, “Do you love me?”

“Emotions are a complex concept, and I don’t fully believe that words can be utilized to sum up one's feelings at any given point. But… if I had to put a word to what I am feeling, then… yes. Love is about as close to explaining how I feel about you.” He responded, making even that absurdly roundabout ‘yes’ sound sexy.

I laughed, “I wouldn’t have expected you to say you love me in any other way.”

“Am I truly that predictable?” He looked a little offended.

“Hmm… occasionally.” I responded. “For example, I didn’t know what to expect from you when I confessed. But I do know what you’re going to say next.”

“Do you now?” He cocked his head in amusement.

“Mmhm. You’re going to say we should head back before the others begin to worry,” I replied.

His eyes widened slightly, “How did yo–” 

“I know you,” I shrugged, grabbing him by the arm. “So, let’s head back. There’s plenty of time for… this, later.”

He blushed a little at the thought, and agreed to head back down to the Mayor’s home. I finally felt at ease. I hope the rest of the night is more relaxing.

Masterlist

[aceditwrites]

this is another request but they requested to keep it anonymous so here we are! i hope whoever ends up reading this likes it

It had been years. You kept telling yourself you should just get over him but you couldn't quite bring yourself to. It should’ve all ended when he was crying in your arms because the girl he was in love with, not you, was dead. You were surely alive. You recalled the days you’d bond over your infatuation for dinosaurs, now you bond over the trauma you faced on the island and over the loss of a best friend. No one expected Brooklynn’s death. Darius had thought there was foul play, but dinosaurs were everywhere. Brooklynn was just another statistic. (Brooklynn was also Heather, but that’s not important)

Another thing no one expected was when Ben came knocking on your door telling you that the Nublar 7 were being hunted. Certainly, no one expected those Atrociraptors to come after you guys at every stop. 

Yet somehow the most unexpected thing you faced was Kenji living in a trailer and running a (failing) rock climbing business. At least he had glow in the dark stickers. It made you realize how much everyone had changed since you all met at camp when you were kids. How much more complicated your lives have become. You were adults now and yet you still felt like a scared, hopeless kid. 

“Are you okay?” Darius asked you while you were staring off into space.

“I could ask you the same thing. What was that?” You had been trying so hard to brush Darius off this entire “trip”. It hurt in a way you weren’t used to. 

“He… blames me. He thinks Brooklynn is my fault and because of… you know, maybe it is.” He tells you. You know exactly what he’s referring to and it makes the dull ache in your heart start to fester even further.

“Right.” You nod and walk off, leaving Darius behind to wonder what happened. He noticed you’d been pulling away from him ever since he admitted what he did. He almost regrets it, but the girl is dead. He feels that he can’t replace her that fast. He loved her. 

You loved him.

When the group split up, you did everything you could to let Ben and Sammy let you come with them to get Yaz. 

“Come on, guys! Just let me tag along!” You begged. Anything to get away from Darius, being near him this whole trip stings. It stings worse than when he got you to admit you didn’t want to work at the park, you just wanted to do what your family expected of you. It was their desire, not yours. Now, he’s what you desire and you can’t have him.

“Nope. No one is driving my baby but me.” Ben rubbed the steering wheel of his van.

“And I have to make things right with my girlfriend!” Sammy says. She’s full of determination. 

You remember when she first told you how happy and giddy Yaz made her feel. It wasn’t until you were off the island that you realized he felt about Darius as she felt about Yaz. 

“And besides,” Sammy continues, “Someone has to play mediator between those two!”

She gestures to Darius and Kenji who were doing their very best to not interact. Well, Kenji is avoiding Darius, who is reluctantly letting him. Would Darius want to travel with two people who both were trying to avoid him.

Never guess what.

You still had to go with Darius and Kenji.

Guess what again!

It was just as awkward as you imagined. The entire time you three were together you could feel the feeling of betrayal radiating off of Kenji, then Darius would look to you, the supposed mediator, for help. You would look away. You didn’t know how to help. You couldn’t even help yourself. 

This continued the entire trip. The only time your resolve broke down was after the… incident. 

You never liked Daniel Kon but no one deserved what he got.

You only interacted with Darius in favor of helping Kenji, he lost his father. The last he needed was the atmosphere being any worse. Darius seemed happy that you were interacting with him again but you were still hurt. Doing whatever you could to just get over him.

Finally, after searching Brooklynn’s apartment for clues and finding the drop off point. Things seemed somewhat okay. That is until Kenji and Darius began to fight over the phone.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself when Darius finally admitted to having feelings for Brooklynn to Kenji. It hurt even more to hear it a second time. It felt like confirmation that you had no chance. Your mistake was letting that thought show up on your face.

Of course Darius had noticed Kenji was pissed and you just looked distraught. What was he supposed to do now? His closest friends both have something against him. He hadn’t been imagining it. He didn’t have the chance to fix it until you were on the boat days later, reunited with the others.

“Y/n?” He called, he stood just out of ear range of the others, who were catching their breaths and slowing their hearts from the latest near death experience. Way to trigger the PTSD, Handler.

“Darius.” You greeted him as you reluctantly walked over to him. You’d been dreading this moment. You guessed you were right, you were a bit too obvious and now he knows that you like him.

“We uh,” he clears his throat, nervous. “We need to talk.”

You nod, “Yeah. We do.”

The two of you sit against some cargo, “You like me?” Darius asks.

You sigh, releasing the tension from your shoulders, “I do-” You change your mind, “I-I did. You like Brooklynn. I can accept that.”

Darius hesitates before continuing slowly, “You did? Like.. past tense?”

“Look Darius, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll stop letting it–”

“I like you too.” He cuts you off to reject- hold up. What did you just hear?

“What about, B?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“I learned a lot about Brooklynn on this… excursion. And I learned a lot about myself.” He smiles, “I never realized who was right in front of me. Literally. You’ve been there since day one- well so has B, but you’re still here. Maybe it’s the adrenaline talking, but I think I love you too. Kenji can have B, if I get you even when the adrenaline wears off.”

“You don’t have to say that.” You know Darius is a people pleaser. You’ve seen the extent he’ll go to.

He grabs your hands and smiles softly, “I mean it. I hope you’re not having second thoughts about that crush.”

You hesitate but ultimately smile back, “I’m not.” 

[eisforeidolon]

Jared: So for those who haven't seen us in Charlotte or San Francisco lately, we are going - I'm sure you've been told, and I've said this before but from the both of us, we're gonna kindly ask that - [gets distracted by lights coming up in audience] Oh my god, some people - hi guys. [both wave]

Jensen: Wait, real quick, while we can see you guys, how many people have never been to a convention like this before?

Jared: How many people had a terrible time and will never come back? [points] Get the fuck out of here! Cliff! Red shirt! [smiling and laughing]

Jensen: How many people are here by mistake and thought this was the furry convention? [Jared and Jensen raise hands][Jared pulls his hand down and then Jensen's too][Jensen taps over his heart] I love 'em.

Jared: That's why they built in a lot of breaks for us over the last weekend. It's like, hey, we're gonna give you like an hour break between photos and autos because we know you have [exaggerated finger quotes] something to do. [both laugh] What is your - what is your furry costume?

Cutting here for fairly long digression about various animals.

Jensen: [immediately] Squirrel. [audience cheers] I didn't have to think about that very long. Almost like I already had it planned. What would - what would yours be?

Jared: Bear. [Jensen cracks up] Because no one messes with the bear. So I'd be able to just like roll around and growl a little bit [winks ostentatiously]

Jensen: Jared, not everyone has fear of bears, okay?

Jared: I'd rather be - I'm gonna figure out how to word this. I'd rather be looking out from inside of a bear - [audience laughs] I'm wording this carefully, gimme a second, gimme a second! I'd rather -

Jensen: Let's use the term grizzly, instead of bear, because -

Jared: I don't like that, nononono, not gonna work. Just a normal, happy bear. Y'know, like Paddington. Uh, still scary.

Jensen: Like Winnie the Pooh?

Jared: Winnie the Pooh, yeah.

Audience member: How many cougars are in here?

Jared: How - [cracks up] Who in here -

Jensen: Hey guess how many cougars are in the audience? [both laugh][Jared claps and mimes bowing down to the person in the audience] Rawr.

Jared: [laughing] Is that what cougars do? [makes claw with hand] Rawr?

Jensen: [points to audience] That's what these do.

Jared: Let's hear it, can y'all give us a rawr?

Audiece: RAWR.

Jensen: Toldja.

Jared: I kinda liked it. [laughs] So, side note? I'll get back on track, but since my wife is eighteen months older than I am, I call - I refer to her as a cougar? She doesn't like it. [Jensen cracks up] Uh, yeah, but I'm, I'm dumb.

Jensen: We were having this conversation earlier, I said, alright, Jared - cause I just, I love to talk about bears around him because he's so uncomfortable. I was like, if you had to choose to be trapped in a room [Jared cracks up] with - I was like, put 'em in order an alligator, a lion, a silverback gorilla, a bear - what was the fifth one? There was a fifth one?

Jared: Uh. You gave me four, you gave me just four.

Jensen: Was it just four?

Jared: Yeah.

Jensen: Okay, those four. I was like put those in order from like the least to no, no thank you.

Jared: By the way, just for those of y'all who are curious about like what our conversations are about? It's not about, like, do you like Kant or Beethoven, but it's like, [macho voice] okay, do you fight a lion with a baseball bat or a bear - boom!

Jensen: [macho voice] Alright, it's a game of would you rather!

Jared: It would be basically bear would you rather - about everything. [Jensen cracks up] I said alligator first - even though alligators were around two hundred million years before the T-Rex. Talk amongst yourselves. [gestures in a circle] Rhode Island, neither a road nor an island. Talk amongst yourselves. [Jensen mouths along as he says it and both gesture in a circle] But alligators - apparently, they only have the open power of a human [opens his mouth, demonstrates opening and closing with hand], but their close power is strong. But if you kind of fake it out [wriggles] and just give it a big old bear hug [mimes hugging]? Then it can't open its mouth. And then you become friends ... I think?

Jensen: No, this isn't Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile. This is like an actual [laughs] like rip your arm off type of animal [Jared laughs]. But I was like, I can see the logic in that, because you could jump on, you [?] 'em. You see these guys do it, a lot of 'em, like my wife is from Louisiana, I'm sure she has cousins that do this for fun. [Jared nods] So I was like, okay, yeah, good, I would - I can see that one. But then you said -

Jared: Then I said gorilla, silverback.

Jensen: Right.

Jared: Because my understanding is -

Jensen: [pointing to Jared] Also good logic.

Jared: The logic is that silverbacks are not carnivores. And so when they display aggression, it's usually to scare somebody away. So I would - if there was a silverback and I was in a locked room, and he did the whole [mimes] beating chest thing? I'd just be like [gets up] my bad bud, I'll be right here [walks away, crouches down]. Uh, and he'd be like - or she - would be like, cool, he's no threat. And then I surprised myself and chose bear next.

Audience: Oooh! Wow! [???]

Jared: Thank you, yeah, yeah. You feel me. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. But I don't really wanna - I feel like with the bear, there is a possibility that you can hug and stuff. [Jensen shakes his head] You've seen Paddington!

Jensen: But then a lion, like absolutely not.

Jared: They're out to kill.

Jensen: They just want to eat you.

Jared: Yep. Yep. Still more scared of bears.

Jensen: So anyway, that was our conversation over lunch. Happy to share it with you.

Jared: You're welcome and we're sorry.

Jensen: You're welcome and sorry.

[exactlycleverpirate]

Rafayel's Timeline Redux Part 5

Spoilers below.

See Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 6. Part 7.

Philos - 30,000 years after the seas dried up. Rafayel's Myth takes place on Philos, likely sometime between Xavier and MC meeting for the first time (Xavier’s Anecdote 3) and Xavier's myth story. The oceans have been missing for 30,000 years (possibly because Earth was destroyed and Philos was made with a fake core holding separate tectonic plates together). 

“...we had substituted Earth’s extinguished core with a powerful, artificial one. This core holds fragmented landmass together, preventing them from scattering into the starry sea. So aside from more dust, more cloudy days, and cumbersome travel between tectonic plates, our planet isn't much different from the Earth of years past.” (Xavier’s Anecdote 3)

“People like Xavier, they'll experience many centuries. As long as Philos’s core still has energy, their lives shall last forevermore like the planet's.” (Xavier’s Anecdote 3)

MC was born from the depths of the planet. She has a special heart that makes the people of Philos immortal and is guarded in a palace, treated as a princess, and not allowed to leave. (See Xavier’s Myth for the connection between MC’s heart, the people’s immortality, and Philos's core.)

“Many, many years have passed on the humble planet of Philos. And on this land lives a noble princess. Her heart, pure and flawless, is blessed by the gods. It protects Philos forevermore, granting immortality to its denizens.”

“I am not a daughter of the Philos royal family. I am no one’s child. I am a person who awoke from the depths of the planet.”

“In the center of Starfall Forest, which had an unstable Protofield, was the heart of Philos. But it was hollow. Philos was made by mortal hands. It shouldn't have existed, and the core's energy had long been exhausted. The only way to keep the planet from dying was to fill its heart with energy. Philos was a planet where almost everyone lived eternal. Thus, humans were the most abundant resource that yielded much energy. Almost everyone who set foot here became the planet's food. Wanderers were a side effect born from the abnormal phenomenon.” (Xavier’s Myth chapter 8)

Xavier: “They found the perfect sacrifice. She can die and be reborn without end. In their eyes, she was the planet's very life force. For only she has achieved true immortality… The royal family believed if they sent her into the planet's heart when the time is right, their problems would be solved. No one asked how she felt or whether she was willing to sacrifice herself. They also care little about her being left in a hole to die and be reborn again and again.” (Xavier’s Myth chapter 8)

Child MC is gifted a young Rafayel as a Lemurian slave. She sets him free. (Rafayel later tells her he allowed himself to be caught on purpose to meet her.) When she set him free when they were children, he made a vow to return to her one day, giving her one of his scales which she has as a little blue fish in a tank, but she doesn't know it is the scale he gifted her. (Later, when they are adults, MC learns Rafayel was bound to MC when the oceans still existed.)

Rafayel: “I’ll return one day and find you.” He takes my hand. To my surprise, a little blue fish swims between our palms. Rafayel: “Fish are emissaries of the God of the Sea. This is my vow to you.”

Rafayel: “Is Your Highness not my master?” MC: “Master?” Rafayel: “Once Lemurians are bound to someone, we can never go against them.” MC: “Are you…referring to the time you were gifted to me? Taming requires plucking a Lemurian scale. I did nothing of the sort.” Rafayel: “Our bond has existed for years. Long before the sea dried up.”

“Deep within the palace, the little blue fish slowly turns into a silver scale and sinks to the bottom of the glass bowl.”

MC remembers living on the Island of Songs in a hut by herself, surrounded by the ocean. (See the beginning of this timeline.) (Was this in her first life or some subsequent life on Earth?)

Continue to Part 6.

[whileiamdying]

Remembering Maria Schneider, the Star of “Last Tango in Paris”

Photograph by Jack Mitchell / Getty

In a new book, translated by Molly Ringwald, Maria’s cousin recalls the fame and turbulence that followed the release of Bernardo Bertolucci’s controversial film.

By Vanessa Schneider

April 13, 2023

Did you know, Maria, that you were almost not cast in “Last Tango in Paris”? You weren’t Bernardo Bertolucci’s first choice. Legend has it that he originally wanted to do a story between two men before quickly abandoning the idea. He was a hot director at the time. His film “The Conformist,” from 1970, which starred Jean-Louis Trintignant and Dominique Sanda, had been a great critical success. With “Tango,” he wanted to show the dark side of the sexual revolution, exploring sex and psychological violence between two people in a Parisian apartment: a run-down forty-five-year-old man named Paul, whose wife has just committed suicide, and a young woman named Jeanne.

In the beginning, the Italian director went to Paris, hoping to re-cast Trintignant and Sanda as Paul and Jeanne. Bertolucci recalled that Trintignant turned it down, saying, “In your film, they’re having sex all the time. Sorry, but I just can’t go nude.” Sanda was pregnant and declined the offer as well. Next, Bertolucci tried to meet with the two biggest actors in France, Jean-Paul Belmondo and Alain Delon. Never the type to waste time, Belmondo refused to even see him. “I don’t do porn films,” he said. Delon’s response was more ambiguous but classic Delon—he said neither yes nor no. Bertolucci’s casting process broke down. And then someone suggested Marlon Brando. The mythic actor of American cinema was older and heavier than he had been in his prime. A string of commercial flops had placed him in the category of Hollywood “has-beens” and he needed cash after having purchased a Polynesian island, which had turned into a money pit. He didn’t know it yet, but his comeback was just on the horizon, percolating in the desire of two young filmmakers—Francis Ford Coppola, who thought of him for the title role in “The Godfather,” in 1971, and Bertolucci for “Tango.”

The first meeting between Brando and Bertolucci took place at the Hôtel Raphael in Paris. Bertolucci described the project to the American actor as the story of a man and a woman who renounce their social identities and only communicate carnally, through their bodies. Brando told him that he wanted to first watch “The Conformist,” so Bertolucci set up a screening for him the same day. Afterward, Brando invited the director to his home in Los Angeles, to discuss the film in detail before the shoot in Paris. The actor agreed to play the role of Paul in exchange for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and ten per cent of the film’s gross—a significant sum of money at the time.

The director first caught sight of you in a photograph with Dominique Sanda, who had become a friend of yours. His Parisian friends tried to talk him out of casting you. “Everyone said that she’s just a girl who spends all night dancing at Castel’s,” he recounted years later, referring to the Parisian night club. “No one saw in her what I saw, something wild behind the androgynous body with the enormous breasts.” At one point, before you started filming, he asked you to have breast surgery to “re-do” them. You refused. It was your sole act of rebellion. From then on, nothing would be asked, only demanded.

You hesitated to do the film at first, you later admitted, since you “didn’t totally understand the script,” though you did recognize that it was daring. Your agent swept away your reservations. “You can’t refuse a leading role opposite Marlon Brando!”

You’re nineteen years old, still a minor, about to embark on one of the most scandalous films of the nineteen-seventies. Your mother had to sign the contract on your behalf so that you could accept the role.

The first scenes you film are with Jean-Pierre Léaud, the favored actor of Truffaut and Godard, who plays your fiancé and an aspiring filmmaker. Bertolucci didn’t want to put you face to face with the icon right away, fearing you would be intimidated.

When you do meet Marlon Brando for the first time, it’s on the Pont de Passy, just as you’re about to shoot the film’s opening sequence, where your characters cross each other on the bridge. You find it funny that he’s wearing lifts in his shoes and think, Oh, he’s not as big as all that. There’s a childlike sweetness you perceive in him as he initiates small talk with you. He asks you what your zodiac sign is.

“Aries,” you tell him.

“Me, too,” he says. “Rising?”

“Libra.”

“We’ll get along just fine,” he says, “which is good, because I believe we have a few intimate scenes. . . .” He gives you a kiss on the cheek, as a father would give to his daughter.

Your first real scene with him takes place in the apartment. Any doubt about the nature of the film is immediately gone. For the sex scenes, or any scenes with nudity, Brando requests a closed set and Bertolucci complies, making the set off limits to anyone not directly involved with the film. Photographers and other onlookers wait on the sidewalk every day for the actors to appear. Some even rent apartments across the street, hoping to get a shot.

Gossip spreads throughout Paris that the Italian director is making something risqué and disturbing.

Brando imposes rules and conditions for everyone involved with the shoot. He does away with the usual hierarchies of film production. It’s out of the question for him that the crew should eat less well than the actors. During breaks, he offers drinks and sandwiches to everyone, paid for out of his own pocket. “He respected all people,” you later say. “No matter how big or small. . . . I’ll always remember him as generous, a man of integrity.”

Brando goes back to his hotel every day at 6 p.m. and refuses to work on the weekends. Bertolucci doesn’t object. For you, however, there is no such reprieve. You film take after take until midnight, and on Saturdays you film with Léaud. It’s more brutal than a marathon. By the end of the three-month shoot, you’re drained and exhausted and you’ve lost twenty-two pounds. The crew often finds you in tears. Some try to comfort you with a word or a look; others say nothing, pretending not to notice. She’s lucky, this little unknown, sharing the screen with the great Brando. . . . She doesn’t get to complain. Once you dare protest to the director: it’s too much filming, fourteen hours a day, every day. You later tell me that Bertolucci responded without even looking you in the eye. “You’re nothing. I discovered you. Go fuck yourself.”

The Italian director knows that he is making something volcanic—as captivating as it is incendiary. The crew members must have been sworn to secrecy. The pairing of you and Brando works well, and Bertolucci is jubilant. The girl is docile, he thinks, and the actor brings his wounds to the role with an intensity beyond the director’s wildest dreams. Brando gives him advice about camera placement and actors’ performances. Bertolucci is fascinated by the experience of this Hollywood giant. You observe their dynamic, intrigued, watching as Brando asserts his authority. At the last moment, you are brought in to shoot your scenes. Eventually, Bertolucci barely speaks to you, only to Brando.

The director is fixated on the cinematography. He wants the film to be orange, the color of the seventies—of hippies, of the California sun, of Indian spices. The first rushes are reassuring; they have the tint he’s looking for, but he’s not quite satisfied. In the apartment, with the shutters closed, it seems that he still feels there’s something missing—some climactic event that can push the film beyond what would be considered merely audacious.

One morning, Bertolucci takes Brando aside and suggests a scene that isn’t in the script. The men agree that nothing should be said to tip you off—that it’s better if you are taken totally by surprise. Did you sense a particular atmosphere on the set that day, see complicit looks among the director, actor, and crew? Or were you too tired by that point to question anything? Who thought of the butter? Was it Brando, Bertolucci, or both?

Rolling, action . . . . You and Brando are lying on the floor, dressed. Suddenly, Brando turns you over, roughly pulls down your jeans, and, grasping a mound of butter in his hand, he shoves it between your legs while thrusting his pelvis against your backside. You fight, you scream and cry. It’s impossible to escape; Brando’s body is pinning you to the floor. Bertolucci keeps the camera trained on your anger and terror. There’s only one take. It doesn’t last long, but for you it’s an eternity. Brando releases his grip and you scramble up, staring at the two of them with murderous rage. In your fury, you destroy the set. After, you go to your dressing room and remain prostrate for hours. The director couldn’t care less; he got what he wanted. He couldn’t have dreamed of better. “She raged against me, against Marlon, against all men,” Bertolucci would comment years later, remembering the scene.

You come out of the filming shattered, sensing this one scene has marked you forever, like a bad tattoo you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to cover up. It doesn’t matter that the sodomy was simulated—it makes you feel dirty and violated. You don’t understand that you could’ve prevented this scene from appearing in the film, since it wasn’t in the script that you had agreed to. You could’ve called a lawyer, filed suit against the producers, and made Bertolucci cut it, but you’re young, alone, and poorly counselled. You know nothing yet about the rules and regulations of the film world. The perfect victim.

Rumors swirl preceding the film’s release. It’s the return of the great Brando! A beautiful, provocative newcomer lights up the film! Bertolucci has really gone too far! At the French première, a few weeks before Christmas, people rush to find a seat. During the opening sequence, a malaise settles over the audience. Jean-Luc Godard storms out after ten minutes, furious and outraged, yelling, “Horrible!” You’re waiting outside the theatre and don’t hear him. You’re probably wearing jeans with boots and a coat that’s too thin to keep you warm. You pace and stomp your feet to prevent them going numb, smoking cigarette after cigarette, listening to the muffled noises coming from the screening room. At the end, the audience departs the theatre in embarrassed silence. They pass by without looking at you.

There’s only one person who approaches you: the actress Jean Seberg. She’s fourteen years your senior, as fair as you are dark. You’ve seen her in Otto Preminger’s “Saint Joan,” Godard’s “Breathless,” and the Romain Gary films. You don’t know it, but the two of you have Marlon Brando in common. It was her admiration of Brando that made her decide, at twelve years old, to become an actress.

Seberg, the American icon of French New Wave cinema, looks different. Her face has been ravaged by a series of sad love affairs and a chronic depression that she attempts to drown in alcohol. She divorced Romain Gary, and two years before the release of “Tango” her baby daughter, Nina, died. In September, 1979, after multiple previous suicide attempts, her naked body will be found wrapped in a blanket in the back of her white Renault, on a street in the Sixteenth Arrondissement.

It’s the first time you’ve met her, but she wraps her arms around you and holds you tight against her chest. She’s small and bony like a malnourished child, but the warmth of her body feels familiar. She buries her face in your brown curls and whispers in your ear, “Take care of yourself.”

“Last Tango in Paris” comes out in theatres on the fifteenth of December, 1972. It fails to pass the censors and receives the rating “forbidden for anyone under eighteen,” which only piques the public’s curiosity. Immediately, it becomes the preordained object of scandal. Catholics mobilize, and a complaint is filed in Italy, which the far left views as an affront to freedom of expression. “Tango” becomes the latest symbol in an ancient fight between the guardians of a certain moral order and the defenders of the artist’s right to create—the wet blankets versus the squeaky wheels. An Italian court condemns Bertolucci, Brando, and you to a two-month suspended prison sentence. Copies of the film are destroyed.

For Bertolucci, the controversy is a triumph. His film has succeeded in garnering the passionate response he desired. It’s discussed in bars and restaurants, debated by artists as well as by elected officials. It’s forbidden in the dictatorships of the Soviet Union and Franco’s Spain. Democracies, on the other hand, make a point of defending it. The film is released in New York in only one theatre, where tickets are sold out weeks in advance. It’s your first taste of success, but you stay on your guard. It’s hard for you to know what to think when you are as likely to be booed as you are to be showered with compliments. You’re twenty years old.

Meanwhile, just as your career is taking off, Brigitte Bardot, a friend with whom you’ve been staying, announces that she will retire. She’s had it with films. From now on, she wants to devote her life to animals, insisting they are far better than humans. You don’t bother to try to talk her out of it, since you know there’s no changing her mind. She goes on to say that she’s moving to Saint-Tropez, where she vacationed with her family as a child and where she filmed her great success “And God Created Woman.” When you leave her apartment on the Avenue Paul Doumer, you’re not sure where you’ll go next.

The release of “Tango” is an explosion whose shock waves consume you within a couple of weeks. Nothing has prepared you for what’s coming. The insults on the street, the aggression, and then, conversely, the adulation and the fawning. Doors suddenly swing open, offers come from the directors everyone is dying to work with. There is suddenly too much of everything in your life, too much desire, too much temptation, too much violence and criticism. With the wild grasping of someone drowning, you fall back onto a clichéd pun to explain the excesses of your behavior. “Il vaut mieux être belle et rebelle que moche et re-moche.” (“It’s better to be beautiful and rebellious than ugly and ugly again.”) It’s delivered with a sardonic smile, like you only half believe it.

Since the press has portrayed you as a wanton muse, you play the assigned role. You will be as electric and without boundaries as what’s expected of you. Your first public statements whet the appetites of the gossipmongers. A girl who has grown up too fast, who still has the bloom of youth, taking aim at everything. As a journalist now, I shudder when I read the interviews. You settle the score with your father, the actor Daniel Gélin, with all the rage and sadness of a neglected child. This father who took so long to acknowledge you, who now, as his film roles dwindle, cozies up to the smoldering fire of your success. You take him down with an assassin’s precision: “A bitter man jealous of his own son.” Your famous co-star fares no better. “The Brando myth? Whatever! . . . He’s obsessed with getting old and pays special attention to his makeup. Every morning, someone had to go get him; otherwise he wouldn’t come. He’s also lazy and slow. He never knew his lines; he just improvised. Between takes he went back to his dressing room, supposedly to ‘center himself’ . . . Marlon is temperamental, a big drinker.” I can easily picture the journalists laughing nervously, unsure how to respond.

The press can’t decide what to make of you—whether to love you or to hate you. Feminists wage war over the film. According to them, it goes too far under the guise of sexual freedom. Pointing out your youth—the apple cheeks and the look of confusion in your eyes about what’s being asked of you—they wonder whether what was captured on film was not art but abuse. They underline the nearly thirty-year age difference between you and Brando and note that in almost every scene you’re naked while he remains clothed. And then there’s the infamous sodomy scene. Some sense genuine protest and suffering in your cries.

In our home, we don’t speak about the film. The first time I hear anyone mention it is on the playground when I’m five or six years old: a group of kids laugh and yell, “Pass me the butter!” At first, I pay no attention to them, though what they say confuses me. They repeat it, day after day, and I don’t know why. Finally, I ask my mother about it.

“It’s because of the film,” she snaps, annoyed, then quickly tells me not to worry about it.

This scene becomes your cross to bear. For your entire life, you will have to endure unsavory jokes and cruel pranks. Once, in a restaurant, a waiter asks, with an obnoxious wink, whether you’d like some butter. On an airplane, a smirking flight attendant puts a pat of butter on your plate when you haven’t asked for any. In Rome, where you are filming René Clément’s “Wanted: Babysitter,” you’re insulted on the street. More than once you are physically attacked. Faced with seemingly endless questions about it, you hide your pain behind a forced laugh and respond with a quip: “I only cook with olive oil.”

As a child, I keep everything about you in a red plastic folder, the kind with the two rubber bands angled at the corners to keep it closed. Inside are photos of you that I’ve torn from magazines, along with interviews and press clippings from your films. I’m in elementary school, and I collect everything ever written about you with a perseverance that borders on obsession. I beg my mother to entrust me with the pictures of you at my age, along with your first drawings, and I decorate the folder with star-shaped stickers and rainbow glitter. On the front of the folder, I glue a black-and-white photo of you from a newspaper. In the picture, your cheeks are round, your smile radiant. I cover the picture with Scotch Tape to safeguard it from age, a childish attempt to protect you from life’s contamination.

On the rare occasions that I open my red folder in front of friends, I receive looks of bewilderment and suspicion. Who is this supposedly successful actress whom no one’s ever heard of? I’m suspected of lying, of inventing a famous relative to get attention.

Over the years, as the file grows, I notice with disappointment that each piece I collect has less to do with your films and more to do with the turbulence of your personal life. The features and reviews are replaced by tabloid stories with salacious headlines. As I get older, even these articles begin to disappear, and there’s rarely anything new to put in the red folder. Occasionally, you have a role in the kind of low-budget international film that’s sure never to be released in France, but you’re no longer considered for lead roles, and after a while you cease to interest even the journalists. Like so many others of your generation, you join the troop of discarded stars, rejected by a new era that has no place for rebels. You’re no longer the celebrity of my childhood, the one strangers recognize on the street with a frisson of excitement and envy, but you remain my special cousin for whom I harbor a tender and morbid fascination. A precious, broken family jewel, hidden away in a secret drawer.

I keep the red folder at our family’s house in the French countryside. The old farmhouse is a repository of memories. In a room that’s ostensibly my father’s office (although I never saw him work there), he keeps the archives from an extreme-left Maoist political organization to which he once belonged. There’s also a collection of drawings, some by you, thrown together in colorful disarray, alongside stacks of the very first issues of Libération, the left-wing newspaper founded in 1973 by Jean-Paul Sartre and Serge July, where I will later work as a journalist. The farmhouse suits you: wallpaper with big orange and chartreuse flowers, patched furniture, salvaged objects. There’s a sprawling, overgrown garden, which during my childhood was regularly transformed into a hippie haven, a place where men and women dressed in tunics gathered around a campfire and strummed guitars while smoking enormous joints. It seems the perfect place to keep the folder safe.

Throughout my adolescence, I keep track of the red folder—a testament to your former glory. I read and reread the fragments of your life. I don’t always recognize the girl in the stories that the press chooses to tell. They are half-truths, approximations, fantasies, and some blatant falsehoods. But, even so, there is usually some element of truth. A young girl ravaged by an explosive public début.

In a profile from Elle in 1972, the journalist Marie-Laure Bouly, perhaps in an attempt to reconcile the public’s fascination with Maria Schneider and the scandal of “Tango,” begins her article with a systematic evisceration of the movie: “A crude film that further pushes the limits of just how far is too far.”

She goes on to describe you as both a capricious child and a femme fatale, dressed in a dramatic fur coat bought at Kensington Market in London. You’re free-spirited—too free. The journalist doesn’t seem to have found much to sink her teeth into, so she sprinkles her feature with quotes of yours taken out of context, which she doesn’t bother to explain. Then the story comes to an end with the sudden departure of its subject. Bouly concludes: “Maria Schneider is always on the go—already well on her way.”

Every time I visit the house in the country, I perform my ritual of taking the red folder out of the drawer to examine its contents. As the years pass, the smell of dust grows stronger. The photos fade, and the paper begins to erode from the humidity. One day, I can’t find the folder at all. It seems to have vanished entirely. I’m heartbroken. I can’t shake the feeling that the folder—the pride and embarrassment it brought me, its comforting omnipresence, its gradual, eventual disappearance—somehow represents you. Once the folder is gone, I know that one day I will write about you. Not the story that you would write, which belongs only to you, but ours. ♦

(Translated, from the French [Tu t'appelais Maris Schneider], by Molly Ringwald.)

This is drawn from “My Cousin Maria Schneider.”

[foxydivaxx]

Zosan: Look What You Made Me Do Chapter 6

Sanji POV

I began to observe something about myself, something that I had been denying for years. I am not so different from Nami. I want the finer things in life. I want to be loved,I want to be free. That was why I became a Strawhat in the first place. But my approach to life is different. 

Nami is Miss Independent, driven by a traumatic experience no thanks to a certain smelly fishhead. I on the other hand am driven by grief, neglect and sorrow. I lost the only support I had who happened to be my mother. Sure, I had Reiju but she could barely do much. I still love her though.

I was bullied, tortured and ridiculed for years. I was brought down to nothing for showing my emotions, for displaying what was seen as a weakness in the eyes of my brothers and fathers. As far as they were concerned, I was never a real man. I was a mistake.

All that time I spent all alone in that dungeon wearing that mask,I was begging for death. I never gave myself the chance to be selfish. I was always acting in service to others but ignored myself because as far as I was concerned, someone as messy as I was deserved none of that good shit.

So imagine my surprise when the others came to rescue me from the wedding plot. Like Luffy has saved everyone else so why me? I am just a mere cook. Well according to Luffy, no food equals no life. 

No one has ever given me respect for jackshit or love. At times I wish I did become evil and destroyed the world and everyone else around me. Maybe that is why Zoro is with me now. Could be that the others have been sensing whatever dark energy that lay dormant within me and may be trying to distract and protect me from myself?

But why bother? I can barely keep myself together. One minute I am as sweet as sugar and the next I snap like a fucking fire breathing dragon. I act as though there are two people with me. No one knows what that’s about just yet. But there is a part of me that fears that whatever evil demon that is inside me is about to go on a rampage. 

I have days when I am fine but there are days I lose my mind. Like I would wake up in the middle of the night and just start screaming. My heart begins to pound as I pant heavily. I look around and realize that I was back on the ship. Meaning that we have left that island a long time ago. A sharp pain hits me in the chest and then I remembered why we had to leave.

A couple hours ago, we were attacked on Greenville Island by none other than my father and the Germa army. Turns out Akuma placed a tracker on me during one of our sexual rendez-vous. Hmm…well played.  Either way, Zoro destroyed that tracker once he found out and went feral almost immediately.

Either way, they attacked us and I immediately jumped into action and went to fight my father head on despite Marimo warning me not to do so. Perhaps I should have listened because once again, I was up short. I could not stand a chance against that bastard. Oh and he proceeded to stab me and slash my chest with that stupid sword of his, leading to me losing a lot of blood. How cute. Definite winner of the Father of the Year Grand prize. Pfft…yeah right. 

I lost consciousness after that and we all fled the island. It seems my stunt with Akuma rattled the old fool and so now he is after us and wants us dead. Well, me more so than the others because I was the one that killed that old oaf’s guy. 

I find it hilarious that the motherfucker would care about Akuma like that. Like Akuma was meant to be a means to an end. So why care about him? Unless my little theory about their relationship is true. 

Now, I never met Akuma prior to our sexual relationship. But I also cannot help but suspect that father dearest might have been a closeted bisexual and only married mum because he needed heirs to his now tainted throne.

Germa has a very bloody history that spawns 300 years of bloodshed, slavery and racism which was why I stopped referring to myself as a Vinsmoke even though the world refers to me as such. 

I guess Marimo is on watch duty today because he is nowhere to be seen in this room. I try to get up but thanks to the sharp pain, I decide to lay back down. All this time I have been trying to run away from my past, to discard parts of me that I thought never made sense because the world I found myself in never supported or accepted certain aspects of my personality.

Like me showing kindness to others for instance. Or my love for cooking. Or even me being attracted to guys. My deep internal turmoil is so great that I literally cry myself to sleep almost everyday because who would understand my pain?

“You okay Sanji?”

I look up to see my beloved captain Luffy sitting next to him, a caring smile on his face. I still cannot believe that this guy right here still cares for me and was willing to protect me back there. Him and the entire crew. I cannot believe that some people actually love me and are willing to help me regardless of my flaws.

“I…” I could not put m feelings into words because how could I? I just started sobbing. For the first time in a while, I felt like the little boy that was trapped in that dungeon. The kid Judge disowned and pronounced dead to the world because I was not good enough for him.

Luffy just pulls me into a gentle hug and does not say a word. It is almost as though he understands my pain. It was then that I feel another soul outside feeling worried about me. Marimo. Marimo and I have always had this strange emotional link with each other. Whenever one was endangered or was feeling blue, the other would know and would try and send as much caring energy to the other.

Marimo listened to my heart and understood my fears and worries and was trying to reassure me in his own way. Luffy probably felt it from wherever he was and came down here just to check on me.

“It’s okay Sanji. You are gonna be fine. You’ve got us.” says Luffy. I just nod and sob and pout. I do not have enough strength to face the old man now. But I will need to gather strength as soon as possible. 

“That reminds me. Nami got in contact with Law. He said that we should go to the next neighbouring island and stop there. I believe there is something that could help you there. Who knows?”

I hope so because I need a lot of power to take down that old bastard and destroy him for good. I am sick of being hunted down by that bastard. I want him wiped off the face of this Earth. After spending Lord knows how many hours in tears, I eventually sleep off in Luffy’s arms.

[kay-wren]

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 29

Jessie and Rafe were finally done packing that evening. Charley of course had already been put to bed, allowing them time to get some stuff done.

"You've always been an over packer." Rafe joked as he walked into Jessie's room looking at the luggage full of clothes, shoes, and everything in between.

"I like to think I'm cautious." Jessie laughed back. It was hard for Jessie not to over pack when her entire life was filled with so much turmoil. Many a time her and JJ both packed their bags not knowing when or if they would return home. Jessie couldn't help but take that into her adult life. Rafe snaked his arms behind Jessie to pull her into a hug when he noticed a square, black book with nothing on the front of it sitting in her suitcase.

"What's this?" Rafe asked as he got an arm around Jessie to grab it.

"Uh, that's, uh, a photo album. I thought JJ would like to see some pictures of Charley and me over the years... and you too of course." Jessie explained. Rafe realized with everything happening so quickly, Jessie never really got the time to show Rafe stuff like this. Without a word said, Rafe jumped on the bed with the book in his hands in excitement.

"I want to look at every picture. Do you have any more?" Rafe asked. Jessie just laughed and looked almost embarrassed. At first Rafe was confused by the look, but then he realized.

"There's more in that suitcase isn't there?" Rafe smirked. Jessie giggled and nodded her head like a child as she rummaged through some clothes to find the others buried at the bottom. She pulled them out and jumped on the bed with Rafe.

That night Rafe and Jessie spent the next few hours looking through all kinds of photos, ranging from Jessie's pregnancy, Charley's birth, life in Manhattan, birthdays, and everything in between.

"You know, years ago a night like this would've been spent smoking your dad's weed or drinking or doing some other dumb shit." Rafe laughed as he closed the last album.

"Look at us, growing up." Jessie joked as she flipped her hair.

"Do you miss it?" Rafe asked a little more seriously. Jessie didn't need him to elaborate, she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"The late nights when all we had to worry about was who was sleeping in who's bed? Of course I do." Jessie answered with a hint of sadness in her voice. Rafe and Jessie always felt like the modern day Bonnie and Clyde in a way, always looking to get into or out of trouble and teaching each other every day what it means to be truly free and not care about what others think. They both had big reputations on the island— in totally different ways— and that's what always made them so dynamic.

Rafe just looked down in sadness as well and pulled Jessie's hand to his chest and held it.

"Look, I know things are different now." Rafe whispered. "But different doesn't mean worse. We can get back to us, Jess. We're going to find a new normal eventually, and we'll learn to love that new normal."

Jessie teared up. This was the Rafe she always believed in... the Rafe nobody else gets to see. Still, she couldn't let her guard down completely, as she knew that deep down Rafe was still trying to get clean.

"Yeah, I know." Jessie paused. "But sometimes deep down I do wish things were as simple as they were back then... even though they really weren't simple at all." Jessie laughed, her hand still being held tightly by Rafe's strong arms. Rafe laughed as well.

"I know, baby. It's always been me and you against the world, and look, that really hasn't changed." Rafe said. Jessie saw his point. Here they were in the same position they found themselves in years ago: trying to convince everyone that they were going to make it despite all the people who hated seeing them together.

"You know JJ's gonna be livid right? He's not going to accept that we're back together." Jessie proclaimed. Rafe scoffed.

"Well, yeah, I figured that." Rafe joked as he kissed Jessie's hand. "But it doesn't matter, nothing and nobody is going to separate me from my girls. I promise."

"Not even Coke?" Jessie had to ask. The thought has been eating away at her the second she decided to take Rafe back.

"Especially not Coke." Rafe replied more serious than ever as he looked into Jessie's eyes. Jessie nodded in response.

"Not even money?" Jessie asked again. Rafe just laughed, now holding onto both of her hands with his.

"I'm done chasing whatever the pogues dig up." Rafe said with a smile. Jessie couldn't help but snicker and nod her head once again. Jessie took a deep breath followed by a sigh of relief. Rafe could tell those thoughts had been weighing on her. He brushed some hair out of her face.

"You and Charley are my first priority. I'll make our money honestly with the company, and that's as far as it'll go. Besides..." Rafe smirked. "I still have that other half of the gold."

Jessie just scoffed and playfully hit Rafe's arm as if she couldn't believe he just said such a thing. Rafe took the opportunity to grab her arm and swing her over his body as he lay in the bed with Jessie on top of him. They were now in a full on play fight until Jessie grabbed a pillow beside her. Rafe playfully screamed but then Jessie quickly put her pointer finger up to her lips signaling he needed to keep it down.

"Our daughter is asleep in the other room." Jessie whispered through giggles.

"Well then we better keep quiet." Rafe smirked as he threw Jessie down on the bed.

- - -

Rafe had his driver pick him, Jessie, and Charley up at the airport and take them to their home In OBX. Their home... Rafe loved the sound of that. Although, he knew there was no way he could have him and his girls live in that house forever, there was simply too much baggage. He vowed to himself to find a house fit just for them, but for now, this would do.

"This is your new home." Rafe said to Jessie as he wrapped his arm around her as he walked toward the front door with Charley on his hip. "For now anyways. I promise some day soon we'll have a house all our own that we pick." Rafe assured as he went to unlock the front door.

Jessie entered through the front door, hit with a wave of nostalgia-- no, trauma. There was the same dining room table that Rafe slammed his fist against when he was fighting with Ward over Jessie, and there was the kitchen island where Rose so gracefully despised her presence, and how could she forget the long dark hallway where Ward threatened her.. and then Rafe threatened his father. Jessie tried to put it out of her mind. Rafe put Charley down to roam freely through her new home, which she gladly did through fits of laughter, screams, and claps.

"We're going to need to put away all the million dollar artifacts laying around." Jessie joked as she rubbed her hand worriedly against her forehead, although she was being slightly serious. Rafe laughed.

"We can make that happen, you wanna unpack and then head to JJ's? He still doesn't know you're here right?"

"Right." Jessie sighed, anxiety written all over her face. Rafe noticed and pulled Jessie into his chest for a tight hug. He laid his head on top of hers.

"Everything's gonna be alright, baby. We've done this before. If you really want I can stay here while you go over there with Charley so he can just meet her first." Rafe assured.

"No, I really think it'd be best just to rip the bandaid off, and Charley being there might keep him in check." Jessie stated through sad eyes. It broke Rafe's heart to see her so stressed. He leaned down to look in Jessie's eyes and cupped her face.

"Baby, I promise it'll be okay. I'll do all the explaining if you want me to. You don't even have to be there, you can stay here with Charley." Rafe explained with a softness.

"And just let you get a public beating for stealing what's rightfully the pogues, only returning half out of legal obligation, and then getting back together with the pogues' sister that you forced to run off because of you're drug induced rage? Yeah, no thanks, I'd like you alive." Jessie retorted not even slightly joking. Still, Rafe found it funny. "It'd be best coming from me... or at least the both of us." Jessie said as she looked into Rafe's eyes and held his arms as they were holding her face. Rafe just nodded in understanding. Without even averting her eyes, Jessie's sixth sense kicked in that the house was too quiet.

"Get out of whatever you are in Charlotte Renee." Jessie yelled. All of a sudden both of them heard what sounded like a heavy lid hit the ground and roll around until it came to a complete stop. Sure enough, the top of a beautiful mosaic vase was on the ground in the living room. Rafe was amazed.

"How did you do that." He asked.

"Mom things." Jessie answered with a smirk and a shrug.

- - -

Rafe and Jessie had arrived to the Chateau in Rafe's truck. The pogues exited the house confused because they weren't expecting any visitors, and especially not Rafe. Their confusion only grew when they saw Jessie hop out of the passenger seat.

At first JJ came barreling through the yard when he thought Rafe was the only one he would be seeing, but he stopped midway when he caught a glimpse of his sister coming from the passenger side.

"Jessie?!" JJ asked suddenly with a bright smile on his face. All the other pogues looked around at each other, still not completely sure what was happening, and didn't quite trust it. JJ, however, had quickly forgotten about the fact that Jessie most definitely just got out of the passenger seat of his arch nemesis' truck. He ran to engulf her in a hug, only to look over Jessie's shoulder and see Rafe stepping out of the truck as well. Rafe and JJ made eye contact. Rafe gave a look as if to say "not here, and not now." JJ returned the look with an expression of "what the hell?" Then again, JJ was never one to keep his thoughts only in his head, so of course he said exactly what he was thinking.

"What the hell is he doing here?" JJ yelled as he began to charge at Rafe. Jessie saw it coming and immediately got in front of JJ, putting her hands on his chest just long enough to catch his attention once more and make him stop.

"Hey hey hey, not right now. He's-"

"Not right now? Not right now, Jessie?! He stole from us! I'm gonna beat his ass!"

"JJ." Pope spoke up in disbelief, all the pogues were too busy looking at what was going on behind the two siblings to stop JJ from pummeling Rafe. Once JJ heard Pope's oddly calm demeanor he finally looked past Jessie, only to see Rafe holding Charley on his hip, clearly unsure if he was going to walk towards them or not. JJ began to tear up.

"I-Is that...?" JJ couldn't finish his sentence for choking on his words as his lips quivered.

"Yea, JJ. That's my... that's our daughter." Jessie answered as she turned to look at Rafe. Rafe still hadn't moved, he stood their with a stolid look on his face as if to say that he was not to be messed with while his daughter was around, especially not while she was in his arms. Rafe managed the perfect look of a mix between genuine desire to make things right, while also showing that he meant business. Rafe was proving to be an iron fist in a velvet glove at the moment. JJ received the message loud and clear from Rafe with no words needed, but he was still so conflicted on how to handle the situation.

"So you think you can just show up with my niece on your hip and think I won't beat the shit out of you? Really? That's some real cowardly shit hiding behind your daughter don't you think, kook?" JJ spat as he narrowed his eyes at Rafe. Jessie could tell Rafe didn't like that accusation, and she knew that if Charley wasn't there, he would've lunged at JJ wishing for a fight.

"My daughter is here to protect you, not me." Rafe simply said with a newfound cockiness to him as he strutted up to JJ, showing he wasn't afraid. Unfortunately, Jessie knew Rafe was right. He wasn't going to fight in front of his daughter.

"That's a load of horseshit!" JJ laughed at Rafe before looking back at Jessie with judgement written all over his face. "So what is he to you now, huh? Husband? Baby daddy? Ex thief?"

"Ex murderer?" Kiara butted in through gritted teeth and knotted up fists. All the pogues were just as furious that Rafe was even on their turf right now. Except for Sarah, she was still processing that her brother... and her beautiful niece... were standing right in front of her. Sarah couldn't deny that Rafe seemed different this time.

"Jess, you can't be serious." John B finally interrupted. "Are you seriously going to let him be around your daughter? After all that you know he's done to us?"

"Nah, screw that man." JJ exclaimed with anger imminent, now pacing back and forth. "How could you even let him back in your life, Jess. Knowing all that he's put you through?!" JJ grew more furious with every passing word. "You know how this ends, Jessie! You've seen this movie before, and I'll be damned if I let you ruin my niece's life on top of that, Rafe." JJ said this time through angry tears as he made his way to Rafe once more. Jessie stopped in front of JJ again doing the same motion as before.

"JJ," Jessie whispered. "I know this hurts you. I know that you're worried about me, and about Charley, but I promise, nobody has thought about this decision more than I have. Rafe and I are going to try and be a family again. We think Charley deserves that much, and I know that you would agree." JJ's tears suddenly dried up, and his face changed from one of worry to one of numbness.

"You really think he's changed?" JJ sniffled looking down at Jessie, already answering the question in his head. Rafe decided to step in.

"You can have it." Rafe said plainly, looking down at the ground, still standing a few paces away from JJ. "You can have it all. The gold. I don't care about it anymore." Rafe explained as he finally got close enough to JJ and the other pogues. "I just want my girls. I haven't used since Jessie walked through that door in the Bahamas, and I swore to myself years ago that if she ever walked back into my life for whatever reason that I would not give her a reason to walk back out. I've kept that promise. I beat her back to Manhattan to plead with her in person to give me another chance. I know I've messed up pretty damn bad and done wrong by you guys too many times, and I don't expect forgiveness overnight... or even at all. But I do hope that you'll understand that Jessie and I are not going to give up on each other anymore no matter what anyone has to say." Rafe's words were calm, cool, and collected. It was different for all of them to not see Rafe so hot headed, yet they took him just as seriously. JJ had no words, conflicted was an understatement. He couldn't get that night out of his mind, the night Jessie left.

***

"Where the hell is she, JJ!" JJ heard Rafe yell while he was inside sobbing. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the truck door slamming and hearing Rafe scream, clearly angry. He immediately pulled himself together and went outside to face the man he knew was the reason for Jessie's disappearance. In an odd way, JJ was hoping he would see Rafe that night.

"Man, I don't know where the hell she went." JJ exclaimed with annoyance as he threw his hands up in the air. JJ's eyes were still red and swollen yet his tears were nowhere to be found. Rafe really didn't care either way.

"Nah, nah, don't mess with me bro." Rafe demanded as he walked right up to JJ clearly in a mental tailspin. Rafe pinned JJ up against the porch post, one arm pressed hard against JJ's neck. JJ was breathing hard but was determined to not let Rafe see him sweat. That's how JJ always was.

"You're going to TELL ME WHERE SHE IS." Rafe screamed in JJ's face, clearly slipping further into a psychotic rage that he was becoming so accustomed to.

"Dude, I swear if I knew where she was I'd be there. She left because of you, you know-"

"Shut up!" Rafe proclaimed as he pushed his arm further into JJ's shoulders, beginning to obstruct his airflow. Rafe knew JJ was right. Jessie most definitely left because of him. He stood there for a moment looking at JJ. JJ couldn't pinpoint what emotion Rafe was feeling other than rage. Rafe finally let go, only to back away with balled fists as he contemplated what to do next. His breathing became heavier and heavier, the walls of his life feeling like they were caving in on him. His one steadfast that he had, the one he always had in his corner, was gone, and it was all his fault. Rafe felt like crawling out of his own skin, he had never felt so much rage. All the times he faught with his dad, hated the pogues, nothing could compare to the anger he had in his heart... this time only for himself. Rafe finally let it spill out the only way he knew how.

"SHIT!" Rafe screamed at the top of his lungs into the night air, not knowing or caring who it woke up. JJ jumped at the sudden outburst, how could he not? It was a blood curdling cry. After seeing that, he was secretly glad Jessie got away. JJ could only imagine what Rafe was capable of doing to Jessie when he was that angry.

"Did you hit her?" JJ asked calmly with balled fists as he looked at the back of Rafe, who was now staring off into the distant water. Rafe just took a deep breath and scratched his head, refusing to answer. He didn't hit her, but he came pretty damn close. He was afraid of himself in that moment.

"Did you hit her?!" JJ yelled, finally losing his cool. No answer was an answer for JJ, he knew exactly what Rafe meant. Rafe finally turned to look back at JJ, this time with an odd sadness in his eyes as he played with the skin on his lips. He put his palms up to his eyes as if to block out whatever he was thinking or feeling. He finally pulled himself out of it and looked at JJ with determination in his face.

"I'm not gonna stop looking for her." Rafe choked out as he pointed at JJ.

"Oh, you're gonna stop looking for her, Rafe." JJ threatened as he walked closer to Rafe. JJ matched Rafe's all too familiar calm but intimidating energy as he pursed his lips and broadened his chest.

"I'm never going to stop looking for her." Rafe said more determined. "I will find her!"

"If you find her, I find you. And I'll kill you. Do you understand?" JJ demanded as he got within mere inches of Rafe's face, now looking him dead in his bloodshot eyes. Rafe simply laughed, feeling as if they were just playing a game of dick measuring.

"Is that a threat?" Rafe joked with knitted eyebrows.

"That's a promise."

[athensandspartaadventures]

Yes that meme's what im referring to many thx! Oh I love your answer Corinth running to Syracuse (i guess) for help is so cute and Persia's reaction is definitely the coolest (cooler than all Greeks) but watch out for your beloved subjects Persia :-D Also love the awkward way Sparta reacts to whatever immediate crisis lol. Would you mind also do 17 for Athens and 18 for major characters in aasa as well? I'm curious for your characters and really find your headcanons lovely.

for sure! and thank you :) i'm glad you enjoy them!

17. Is your character holding any grudges? Are they likely to stop?

I guess in a way the plot of AaSA is Athens's grudges, haha, he will remember something minor from the bronze age that doesn't really matter, but then he's also kind of flippant and forgets a lot of things, both his own actions and those of others. I think he's more likely to make up a grievance almost on the spot by chapter 5, though he doesn't really keep track of them (as opposed to Persia, who had to remind Darius at every meal not to forget his grudge against Athens, lol)

18. If your character were trapped on a deserted island, what three things would they want to have with them? Which person would they absolutely hate to be trapped there with? Which person would they enjoy being trapped there with?

Athens, salesman that he is, would want tons and tons of olive oil (multi purpose! long term storage! shiny skin and hair!), which of course comes with pottery, so a stylus to scribble on any potsherds (accidents and ostracisms would of course happen!) would probably come in handy, and the delian league members are kind of like objects rather than people right? and...

Sparta would want his comb (and begrudgingly borrow some of Athens' oil), probably the thicker of his two cloaks (you never know), and a musical instrument of some kind (likely his pipes).

Corinth would probably want a weighing scale (someone is going to have to set up a currency on this island), her hair dye or at least her bleaching hat (hours and hours of sunlight on a desert island? she couldn't waste All of them), and she'd probably take some expensive bauble in her collection to barter for passage off that rock.

Ionia would probably want something to read (not practical, but at least no one can enforce what she can or can't do on a desert island), maybe some kind of navigation device antikythera mechanism?, and maybe some seeds or something? idk if she actually knows how to plant things but I think she'd have like, Too Much confidence.

Persia would probably want like, a nice drinking cup or bowl (hes not going to be humiliating himself drinking with his hands), uh, does his bow and arrows count as an object? at least the bow, what if there's wild game on this island etc. Much as he loves his cats, i don't think he'd want them there to end up as food, so he'd probably want something practical like a pot to make stew or tea with for his little bowl, haha. I think despite his reputation he was quite self sufficient in his youth.

Everyone would hate being stuck with Athens, but I think he wouldn't mind being stuck with the others because he thinks of most of them as "friends"...(though with Persia it's like "if you die, i'm going to eat you!"). Sparta and Corinth would initially not mind each other, but then they'd get into such big arguments about whether to wait for help or to try to do something that they'd be at each other's throats in no time. Persia would probably like someone like Sardis or Ionia there to talk to (the others would be too busy arguing or being petty to work with him).

[boobachu]

Sonic Prime gush

No one wants to talk about this and I don'[t want to spoil people so hiding under read more

Okay so first off: I hate the prime universe. Big is ugly, Knuckles sounds weird, Amy acts weird, Shadow acts weird, Rouge isn't showing her titties and everyone sort of acts like a budget 3D children's cartoon. The way they smile, and stand it scared me it was like Sonic Boom or Pac-Man or Mega Man...

Tho I looooove the animation, sometimes they seem to move like claymation, they're actually animated like cartoon characters! Something in the games Ive only seen in Sonic CHampionship and Sonic Riders!!

Also even tho the prime universe sucks, you barely see it!

Tho.. the weird wormy story telling is like... "dude why didn't you just have a longer intro instead of jumping back to finish the intro"

Like, it persists through the whole season so like... aunno I don't get it. My friend said that Ben10 man wrote this and it's a Ben10 thing but I never watched Ben10

Oh yeah I love Sonic's voice, like... he actually sounds like Sonic for once! It's very modern but like... duh. It's not 1999 anymore (sadly) so he kinda sounds like what corporate thinks is a tiktok but oh cool there's foxy comics in Sonic's world

(oh yeah! I can screeny on VLC!)

Like, aunno Sonic looks off but I also kinda love how he looks like those Y2K Archie comics like...

Also, isn't it weird that Rouge was made into a good guy instead of a dubious guy?

Also Rouge is the best she's been since SA2. The personality is... eh, but her mannerisms are great.

Also this smile reminds me of Robot Chicken

Like did Seth Mcfarline make this? It reminds me of Toyfaire theatre titan maximum

Also it's weird the egg-o-matic isn't in the series? Like supposedly this is canon now so like.. where's the egg mobile?

It's weird how Amy is sorta like the brains (tactics) instead of Rouge or Tails or Sonic. Kinda reminds me of Sally Acorn.

Tho the AU Amys are fantastic like it's almost like she's Sonic's rival like Knuckles used to be. I love seeing them fight! I fucking hate the baby Robotnik tho.

Also it's weird that only Sonic Underground world got AU Robotnik(s) but Junghole and pirate world didn't.

Like, this is all we get? Where's colonial eggman or monarch eggman... well I guess both are the same...

Where's Good Robotnik? I want to see a universe where Sonic's pals n gals are the villain and Robotnik is the force of good.

This is going to be 24 episodes and it's not (quite) Quantum Leap in that it's episodic... it's more worm spaghetti.

Also

I fucking DIED when he said his name! NINE?!?!! They did it! They made him canon!!!!

Well only sorta... not really... well I mean hey.

Also is this a Spider-man 2 reference... except Spider-man saves Doc Ock?

(God that smear) XDDDD

Also it's weird that like, they seem to reference the classic games?

but like, later Sonic remembers Knuckles in the hidden palace but the floating island doesn't seem to exist? Like is the hidden palace in green hill?

Cuz like the stupid palm tree is a reality anchor, there's the loop-de-loop, nexus of shattering, and a palm tree they "gave" to Sonic because I don't know the real superpower of teamwork?

Also Sonic seems to be sorta connected the the crystal he shattered? Like the glue to the multiverse? Pretty weird.

Nine would be my favorite character if not for Rusty Rose.

Like she's the Robotniks' lap dog but she seems to be roboticized but more robocop than SatAM (which, Wildbrain is basically new DiC) and she's a formidable opponent and I love her?

She is basically mind-controlled by the Robotniks (then later Nine) so I wonder how much of her is her and how much of her is programming and how much of her is lost...

Also I wonder how long until someone makes fetish art of Nine controlling Rusty (I'm busy working on JG so not it)

Shadow seems to be lost in the void and can only communicate with Sonic when he's running fast which causes him to warp similar to Sonic CD

Sonic also warps when he touches a jewel (sorta like Sonic CD except no)

I wonder if there will be six worlds: one that focuses on each character's social problem, on the rewatch I realized Amy cared about forests in the shattering, which, the jungle episode is about Thorny Rose wanting to defend the jungle at all costs.

So is SU world about Nine needing Sonic?

is pirate world about Knuckles not thinking?

Will there be a Rouge, Robotnik and Sonic worlds?

Will Blaze or different Sonics be in the show?

Aunno!

This is an interesting sight to see.

Also

Rings actually act like rings???? What is this nonsense?!

Wait someone in the credits is Miles "Tails" Wyrth? XDDD okay I mean how can you not

Aunno, kinda feels like they wasted the first season stevenbombing but like... aunno it's good.

If they release it on BluRay I'll buy it (downloaded Mkvs off a website)

I do wonder how Shadow plays into the story cuz it kinda hints that only Sonic is lost and no one is "split up" but time is breaking down or something but like...

They're air shoes.

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Nineteen things I noted about CR2E133 “Hunter and Hunted” and the Talks Machina about it :

Thank the gods there was a disclaimer before WHATEVER THIS IS :

Matt said “toothy maw”, and Laura screamed “Take a shot !!!” and then immediately drank out of her canteen. A legend.

I liked how they reacted to this encounter, they expressed very well the thought on everyone’s minds : they can’t waste high level spells on these two lizards, because the real fight with Lucien is waiting around the corner.

The description of the streets of Aeor, its building collapsed, the skeletons, is jarring. Even more so when Caduceus flew over the amphitheater and Matt described that there was a lot of people here when death took them, when the destruction happened. Hear this after watching ExU Calamity is even more horrifying, because WE KNOW exactly what those 15 seconds before the end must have looked like for Aeor…

Jester, as Veth is dismantling the robot they found in the ruins of Aeor, for Caduceus’ spell of Speak with dead : “It have a soul, potentially… I don’t know how these things work !” Sam, jokingly : “Don’t be judgmental !” ARE YOU KIDDING ME ????!!! HAVE I JUST SEEN THE MOMENT WHERE SAM HAD THE IDEA FOR F.C.G. ????? A ROBOT WHO’S NOT SURE IF THEY HAVE A SOUL ?????

“In every campaign, we need at least one flying cow”

I agree with Jester 100%. They should set up the ambush and not go explore. However…. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I want to see everything Aeor !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so curious !!!!!!!!!!

Yasha is trying to crush opals into dust for Jester, while flexing her arms, with her sheer strength. Beau, a lesbian : “Come on, babe, this is the hottest you’ve ever been” Caleb : “Maybe thighs is the way to go.” Beau, agreeing : “She’s got really strong thighs…” (my mind and Marisha’s mind went into the gutter)

I would like to thank the cast of Critical Role for forcing me to google ‘Bad Dragon’ to get the joke, and thus subjecting me to the unspeakable horrors of bad sex toys.

Very important information : Essek’s favorite food is soup or nice stews. I love this dude.

Caleb : “You know what a bunch of wizards in one place is ? Fucking trouble.”

Oh god, THE WAITING !!! I did agree with Laura’s theory, that they’re not going to get a full rest before Lucien & Co enter. That’s what I would do as a DM, and also Lucien has done this before, because he’s a pain in the ass. And there it went, minutes after.

Oh, Fjord. The choice of knowing you can sacrifice soldiers for a battle and still not win the war, but gain an advantage (wounding slightly the Tomb Takers, maybe)… And he did it. Knowing that those rangers and Dagen will be lucky if they escape alive.

They got 3 of the 5 Tomb Takers, and more importantly, Otis is amongst the victims !! I’d call that a win.

Fjord, as he’s killing Zoran with two hits on his turn, to Lucien : “No way out of this fight, my friend.” HOT

Talks Machina almost got called Critical Role After Special, or CRAS. Figures.

Travis talking about how he figured out in-game when looking at the map that Vandren is literally on the next island after their ship crashed, and that he just… stayed there… is amazingly funny, because he came to the conclusion that he was a “fucking moron” for never deducing he should look there first.

Travis, the self-described man who doesn’t know youth linguo, made a Tumblr reference when they discussed Essek, and I’m proud. We do have an Essek obsession over here !

Travis describing Fjord’s time in the Happy Fun Ball with Yasha and Beau : “I’m just, back at the fish market… at the whims of the lesbians !” THAT’S THE TRUEST DESCRIPTION EVER

[thelegendofhino]

More speculating and making stuff up because that is so very fun, perhaps hino is just very deeply lonely and doesnt realize it, or is actively repressing it.

Tldr autism makes personal connections difficult and routines very appealing, the moon essentially makes up for the inherent loneliness of being unable to connect with others in a meaningful way, but his inability to connect may be because he focused too much on the moon.

In botw especially, its odd that hes the only person that always stays at the dueling peaks stable that doesnt have a twin, other than sagessa who points out that almost everyone there has a twin (which she finds creepy), and its odd still that hes at that stable despite it having an arguably not very good view of the moon, at least compared to plenty of other places. Many npcs dont really talk about their personal lives unless they live in a town or have a relation to another npc, so its hard to say what his life may have been like up until now. I dont personally think he had a twin at some point, but it would be interesting, but unfortunately neither him nor domidak and prissen, one of the set of twins at that stable (the moon moves in the opposite direction now, so it no longer goes where hino was looking in botw), are still at the stable in totk, so it doesnt seem to hold as much significance.

Hino seems to regard the moon and the blood moon as two seperate entities, despite clearly being aware that they are one and the same, and the blood moon is just something that happens to the moon for reasons unknown to him. In totk especially, he refers to the moon with she/her pronouns, unless its a blood moon, in which he only uses it/its or just says "the blood moon". In botw, he uses it/its for both cases, and seems to have a slightly less personal attachment to the moon than he does in totk. For whatever reason, however much time has passed between the two games, hes gotten even more obsessed with it and the blood moon, even going so far as to repeatedly put himself in danger with little to no sign of considering any other possible option for his studies. I still believe the upheaval did... SOMETHING to him, though i really cant tell how much time is supposed to have passed between the upheaval and link waking up on the sky island.

Hino doesnt really seem to tell anyone about anything that hes doing unless he is asked, in which case he will tell them absolutely everything he knows. He doesnt seem to have learned much of anything new between the two games, and he also doesnt just simply ask other people for how they may have observed monsters, probably either because its never occured to him to do so or just that hed rather use his own judgment. I personally completely understand why he would be that way (autism) so i do think he just has trouble connecting with people, especially if he only really cares about the moon, and he is literally the only npc who puts any focus on it at all so its not like he could find anyone else to talk about it with.

So, when you go and repeatedly save him, he comes to the conclusion that he doesnt need to worry about whatever the monsters might do to him when hes captured because you'll just come in to save him, like a sort of routine, instead of coming to the conclusion that maybe he should try to go about his research in a much safer way. But maybe hes subconsciously doing it on purpose. Youve consistently been the only person to talk to him and listen to him (i know its implied that other npcs have spoken to him before, but i mean consistently) and to go out of your way to save him, so clearly you must care about him (i do!) some amount.

And with that said about routine, the moon is EXTREMELY consistent. So is the sun, but its not very easy to look at the sun. The moon is consistent with the time it shows up, and the phase that it changes to after each previous phase. The only thing that throws it off is the blood moon, which may be why hino regards it differently, but even so it has its own consistent schedule, happening once every ~7 in game days (though this can be postponed in various ways). This is also why hino is upset when it rains. Sure, he can always see the moon the next night, but thats not what its about. The moon is too important to him to not feel upset when he cant see it. Even if it rains in the morning, the only thing he can think about is the possibility of it continuing to the night, preventing him from seeing it. The moon runs on a schedule, the weather does not. And that is upsetting to him. Not just because rain is unpredictable, but because the moon is too personally important to him for anything to get in the way of it.

Maybe, just maybe, hino developed his special interest on the moon as a sort of replacement for a lack of company. Its there every night, as if it were watching over him. It doesnt seem to matter to him to figure out why the moon changes phases or why it shines so brightly, what matters to him is that he can see it. Even a new moon, where you cant see it, as long as its not raining he finds comfort in just knowing its there. And hes grown even more personally attached to it over the years, possibly because its all he feels that he has, whether he realizes that about himself or not. Maybe hes too far into his obsession that he wouldnt be able to meaningfully connect with anither person at this point and maybe, deep down, he knows this. Maybe he feels he cant connect with another person because they wouldnt understand his love for the moon and his interest in the blood moon, and we do see that nobody else in hyrule has that focus on it at all. Maybe hes just really, really lonely, and its hard for him to truly realize it because connecting with others is difficult, especially when youre autistic. So to him he doesnt need to feel lonely, because the moon is always there every night, like clockwork. Its familiar, its consitent, its intriguing, its beautiful, and most of all, its his company. And hes even acknowledged that he cant reach the moon. Its a company that he knows is too far away to ever touch. But just seeing it is enough for him, as long as he doesnt acknowledge that it is just... the moon. And im sure hes aware of that, but what it means to him is very real.

[thats-entirely-too-much-tuna]

WWDITS S4 Episode Title Predictions

Okay, okay, okay. As you may know, TV Time dropped the episode titles for the fourth season of What We Do in the Shadows. Now, TV Time is often less than accurate with these things, but given what we already know about this season based on interviews, press releases, leaks, etc., I think there's a strong chance that these titles are actually legit. So naturally, I did what any normal consumer of media would do and spent hours writing predictions based on this new information.

For reference, here are the episode titles:

And here, below the cut, are my predictions:

Right. We know from Harvey that S4 picks up one year after S3 ends, so let's start by talking about what's been going on during that year.

Guillermo has been acting as Nadja's bodyguard while she serves on the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council. I've seen some people questioning his decision to remain with Nadja as opposed to tracking down Nandor, but I think Guillermo assumed Nandor would wait for him at the train station, and was deeply hurt when he realized this wasn't the case. He probably spent his time in the crate trying to convince himself that Nandor knew something had gone wrong, that he knew Guillermo would never abandon him unless he'd been incapacitated somehow, that he was out there looking for him, that at any moment the crate lid would open and he'd see his master's face smiling down at him. But then Guillermo arrives in England and learns that Nandor is already halfway around the world, and he just can't deal with his hopes being dashed anymore, so he decides to wipe the slate clean and stay in England with Nadja. And then he meets this cute British guy.

Meanwhile, I feel like Nandor is going through quite the opposite emotional arc. He's devastated when he gets on the train, thinking that Guillermo has stood him up, but then he hears that the whole thing was Laszlo's fault! Guillermo would've met him at the train station, had he not been crated against his will! What a relief! Now Nandor can enjoy the rest of his travels knowing that when they eventually reunite, he and Guillermo can pick up right where they left off.

Nadja has been desperate to make something of her eternal life, and she goes to England thinking that serving on the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council is the answer. We know, however, that this only lasts a year, so my guess is that her role on the council is ultimately unfulfilling, or that she isn't taken seriously by the other members. Whatever the reason, she decides to return to Staten Island.

Laszlo has spent the year trying to raise Baby Colin and allowing the house to fall into utter disrepair.

4x01 - Reunited

What it says on the tin! Nandor returns from his travels, Guillermo and Nadja come back from England (with Freddie in tow, apparently) and they all reunite with Laszlo and Baby Colin at the now-dilapidated house. This is almost definitely the episode with the leaked Nandor/Guillermo/Freddie scene (read: Nandor realizes that Guillermo has moved on and he's like THIS IS FINE 🙃). This might also be the episode with the pretzel scene (read: Guillermo kicks everyone out of the house in order to assess the damage and clean what little he can, so Nandor decides to be SUPER SUPPORTIVE of his BODYGUARD'S RELATIONSHIP by taking his NEW BUDDY out for a FUN NIGHT of HUMPING PRETZELS).

4x02 - The Lamp

Nandor is heartbroken over Guillermo and in denial about it, so when he happens upon a lamp with an ancient genie inside, he decides to revive all of his dead wives in an attempt to find the perfect spouse. This will be the episode with Djinn, Marwa (the woman Nandor will ultimately become engaged to), and a whole bunch of other wives. There will surely be some kind of wife montage, and it will be hilarious. Bonus points if one of the malewives hits on Guillermo and Nandor gets uncomfortable.

4x03 - The Grand Opening

In this season, according to the press release, "Nadja finally realizes her dream of opening the hottest vampire nightclub in the Tri-State Area." This is the episode where that happens. Richie Suck and Tom will be involved.

4x04 - The Night Market

Now, this one is particularly intriguing! The press release states that one of the episodes takes place in a secret supernatural night market, which absolutely tracks. But we also know that 4x04 is the episode where Guillermo's family will be introduced, and Paul Simms says that this will happen "in a way that makes [Guillermo] very anxious. We’ll learn that if he has Van Helsing DNA, then so does the rest of his family even though they might not realize it themselves." We've also been told that this season will include the show's most ambitious episode in terms of their depiction of supernatural creatures, and for my money, this is that episode. Listen, I'm not saying that there'll be an accidental massacre at the secret supernatural night market... but there might be an accidental massacre at the secret supernatural night market.

4x05 - Private School

This is going to be the episode where Laszlo tries to get Colin into private school (aka the episode with the leaked Headmaster Warren scene). It's probable that Colin will have rapidly aged into a precocious kid by this point.

4x06 - Pine Barrens

Okay, I have a LOT of thoughts about this one. The press release said that, amongst other locations, this season would take us to the Jersey Pine Barrens. I did some digging, and according to folklore, the Jersey Pine Barrens are home to a legendary creature known as the Jersey Devil. But don't take my word for it! Listen to what Wikipedia has to say about this guy:

The creature is often described as a flying biped with hooves, but there are many variations. The common description is that of a bipedal kangaroo-like or wyvern-like creature with a horse- or goat-like head, leathery bat-like wings, horns, small arms with clawed hands, legs with cloven hooves, and a forked tail. It has been reported to move quickly and is often described as emitting a high-pitched "blood-curdling scream".

Sounds like prime WWDITS material to me.

Another thing this show loves is a pop culture reference, and in my research, I learned that the eleventh episode of the third season of The Sopranos is entitled Pine Barrens, and that it's widely regarded not only as one of the best episodes in the show's history, but as one of the best TV episodes ever made (it's also the first episode that Steve Buscemi directed!). The plot surrounds Paulie and Chris getting lost while attempting to dump a body in the Pine Barrens, and their dynamic in this episode is one of the reasons it's so acclaimed.

Now, I'm just spitballing here. But what if Guillermo is running out of places to bury/dump bodies, so he decides to head out to the Pine Barrens (knowing this show, he could literally come up with the idea because he's been watching S3 of The Sopranos). Nandor doesn't want him to go because he's heard horrific stories about the Jersey Devil. Guillermo's like, "I'm a badass vampire slayer, I'll be fine." Nandor isn't convinced, so he decides to bodyguard the bodyguard and accompany him. They immediately get lost and have a terrifying run-in with the Jersey Devil (bonus points if he's voiced by Steve Buscemi). At some point, when they fear all is lost, Guillermo and Nandor share a Moment of Tension™️ or perhaps even an adrenaline-fueled kiss (though if I had to guess, I’d say the kiss won’t happen until Ep 8). And then Nandor probably remembers he's a fucking vampire, so he grabs Guillermo and flies the two of them out of the Pine Barrens and everything ends up being fine. But uh-oh! They shared a moment! And now there's tension! Guillermo has a boyfriend! Nandor is engaged! How can they possibly resolve this?!

4x07 - Go Flip Yourself

By this episode, I think Nadja's nightclub will be so successful that the gang can finally afford to renovate the house. But the episode is called Go Flip Yourself, which suggests that they'll decide to renovate it, sell it, and upgrade to a bigger house now that Nandor is getting married and Freddie seems to be sticking around. In any case, this will be the "pipes and a new drywall" episode.

4x08 - Freddie

Chewing glass, I am chewing glass. This episode has to be a direct parallel to Gail, right? Like, okay, Nandor is gearing up for his wedding, but he can't stop thinking about Guillermo, and it's not because of their undeniable chemistry and sexual tension, no, something just seems off about that Freddie guy, and it's not that Nandor is jealous, no, he's literally about to get married to Marwa, he's definitely not jealous, he just wants the best for his Guill--uh, that is to say, his bodyguard and oh my shitting fuck, don't look now, but is that Freddie trying to make off with those priceless ancient artifacts????? Fucking guy.

TLDR: I will place money on the fact that Guillermo never learned Freddie's last name.

Edit: @lord-of-the-ducks reminded me of what I like to call the Episode 8 Nandermo Pattern (the parking lot explosion in Citizenship, the break-up and make-up in Collaboration, The Wellness Center…) so there is zero doubt that this episode will be Nandermo-heavy. Can y’all imagine if they have their first kiss in this episode? The episode before Nandor’s wedding?? The episode that’s clearly meant to parallel Gail??? The potential emotional mileage is off the dang charts.

4x09 - The Wedding

Wedding episode!!! Okay, so. Nandor is all set to marry Marwa. His heart's not really in it, but he's trying to convince himself it's the right move. Besides, Guillermo was in a relationship up until very recently, and if Freddie hadn't turned out to be an artifact smuggler, they'd probably still be together. Guillermo made his choice, and now Nandor's making his.

Meanwhile, Guillermo's relationship is over, and he's... relieved? He'd been wracked with guilt over his feelings for Nandor, but now Freddie is out of the picture, and he has nothing to feel guilty about anymore. Because Guillermo knows what Nandor looks like when he's in love, and that's not the way he looks at Marwa. And Marwa's probably still a little miffed about being unceremoniously yanked back to life after 700-odd years of peace and quiet. So when Nandor and Marwa are standing at the altar and the officiant (it might be Laszlo, but imagine the angst potential if it's Guillermo himself) asks if anyone objects to their union, Guillermo doesn't feel anything but absolute certainty when he stands up and tells Nandor he's in love with him.

I think it's more likely that the wedding will be called off rather than Guillermo taking Marwa's place, but regardless, Marwa will be graciously sent back to the dead (or given her own agency beyond marrying this ridiculous man who never once stopped making eyes at his bodyguard), and Nandermo will be canon at last!

4x10 - Memories

In the season finale, I think Nandor will finally honor his promise to turn Guillermo into a vampire. His word is his bond, after all. But first, they'll spend a day doing all of Guillermo's favorite human things one last time. Or checking off all the things on Guillermo's bucket list that he won't be able to do once he's a vampire. Or maybe, to quote a favorite pirate captain of mine, a pretty solid mix of both! Either way, this episode will be centered around making memories, hence the title.

But alas, we have been reliably informed by Mr. Guillén himself that this season will end on a cliffhanger! So what's going to happen? Here are a few of my current predictions:

a) Nandor turns Guillermo, and the last moment of the season is Guillermo's vampire eyes snapping open

b) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo, but Guillermo's skin is impervious to vampire fangs

c) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo and everything appears to be going smoothly, but then Guillermo either has a horrible reaction to drinking vampire blood, or simply won't wake up

d) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo and everything appears to be going smoothly, but then Nandor has a horrible reaction to drinking slayer blood

e) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo, but his slayer blood interacts with the vampire blood in such a way that he becomes something... else (no idea what, I just think this is a fun and spicy take)

Anyway, those are my thoughts, but this is an entirely collaborative effort, so please feel free to chime in if you have anything to add! I'm having so much fun trying to put the pieces of this vampiric jigsaw puzzle together.

[landinoandco]

Our Love is a Game

Lando Norris x Reader

Request from @jamieeboulos

Warnings: pinch of fluff, cute ending because they are the best

Word count: 2.7 k

Requests are open :)

It all started with a phone number, an innocent exchange that would subsequently change the world you knew; mostly for the better. When you had met Lando, as far as you were concerned you had just met a 21 year old who lived in London and had a passion for cars. How wrong you were. It was only when things started to get serious that he sat you down and explained everything that came with being a formula one driver; more importantly the fandom that he was involved in. 

You had always been a private person and admittedly this piece of information almost broke your relationship but after some time to think you had decided that he was worth it all. You both decided it was a better idea to keep your relationship as quiet as possible - you took every precaution to make sure you stayed a stranger to the fans.

For the past 2 years, you thought you had managed to stay clear of the cameras, the photos and the twitch streams but it wasn’t until a fan-made compilation caused your world to spiral out of control. 

You and Lando were out for a run, it was a part of your morning routine - a great way to start the day and it was time that you two could escape the motor sport world and act like a normal couple without worrying about who might be watching. It was time you both valued and appreciated. On this particular morning, Lando had decided to add to his Instagram story, a short video of his morning adventures - the mist still hanging around the trees as you ran under a heavily graffitied bridge, the early birds song chirping animatedly. At the time you didn’t think much of it as you were too busy tying your hair back up to notice. 

It wasn’t until you got home and looked at his story that your heart stopped, rushing over to the kitchen island you placed your phone down and ran your fingers through your hair. It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment but in the corner of his video - the last millisecond before it ended - there was a flash of a purple top (the purple top you had been wearing) and a swish of brown hair as you chucked it back up into a ponytail. 

“Lando.” You called out, trying to keep your voice as calm as you could. You didn’t know why it had affected you so much - or why you were so desperate to keep your identity a secret. It wasn’t like you wanted to hide your relationship; you were the happiest you ever had been, everyday was exciting and offered new prospects - it was more that you were so used to being in this bubble with Lando, the idea of it bursting seemed rather unappealing. Usually you didn’t care for how others saw you but seeing some of the words that people used to describe him, it would be enough to trouble even the thickest of skins. 

Lando’s close proximity broke your thoughts as he stared down at your phone, pausing on the flash of brown and purple. “I am so sorry, love.” He almost whispered, his eyes widening at his carelessness. He picked your phone up to take a closer look. 

“It will be alright, won’t it? I mean, it’s a blink and you’ll miss it.” You had said, more to reassure yourself than Lando. He didn’t answer, anxiety building in the pit of his stomach because he knew exactly what he had started. 

The fan-made compilation didn’t go viral until a few hours later - as it turns out that flash of purple was the perfect cherry on top of an unappetising cake. Lando was sat on stream - not that this was out of the ordinary and Max had decided to join him, leaving you alone to rewatch Friends for the umpteenth time. 

The pair were sat reacting to videos on YouTube when a clip of a seal swimming into a shoal of fish started playing - the amusing part was that they kept quickly dispersing away from the seal in question. Unsurprisingly, they laughed and Lando spluttered: “This is me trying to find a girlfriend.” What the fans didn’t know was the apparent irony of that sentence and this was what caused the major meltdown; whilst Lando and Max were busy crying with laughter - that chat had filled up with the same link and references to the video you would be redirected through. 

Max was the first to stop laughing, tapping Lando on the shoulder as he pointed at the chat. Hundreds of the same message filled the screen: “That’s not what this compilation shows.” “Lando, what are you hiding from us?” “Lando and Max laughing knowing very well he has a girlfriend.” 

“Chat what on earth are you waffling on about.” Max chuckled uneasily, looking at Lando out of the corner of his eye. Lando sat with a forced smile, his nostrils flaring as he continued through the comments. He could only let out a tense laugh as he swallowed thickly - his throat feeling suddenly dry. You were still sitting, completely engrossed and unaware that Lando Norris was now trending on twitter. 

Max had come up with an excuse to end the stream not long after, Lando uncharacteristically quiet. His thoughts were with you in the other room, had you seen it? Did you know? How would you react? He felt as though he had lost all control, like he had failed you entirely - all he wanted to do was protect you yet he was the one to screw it up. 

“Hey,” Max nudged his shoulder, “It was bound to happen at some point. Let’s go and see if she’s seen it - if not then -” He took a deep breath, “We will watch it together. We need to know what we are working with here.” Lando nodded, unable to reply, his body went into automatic pilot mode and too quickly he was standing facing you. 

Pausing the tv, you looked at Lando - his jaw tightened and facial expressions set as though he had just seen a ghost. “Is everything ok?” You asked apprehensively. 

“There’s something you need to see.” Max reached for his phone, pushing Lando onto the sofa. You offered your arm to Lando, pulling him into a hug. Max pulled up the video and pressed play. A tense atmosphere held the room hostage - breath restricted and gazes fixed onto the tiny screen in front of you. 

It started with a clip from this year’s Goodwood - Lando preparing to drive his last hill climb - you remembered it well, a McLaren hat placed on your head mainly to cover your identity; knowing that there would be more than a few fans around. The clip moved to 3 separate stills - all of you in your McLaren hat. One with your back to the camera, you hand placed around Lando’s waist, the other two a side profile as you spoke to Max. 

The reaction was immediate, you slapped your hand to your mouth, Lando looked horror-struck and Max was watching you carefully. 

The video moved on, this time a clip from the quadrant video where Niran trains like Lando for 24 hours - Lando and Niran were in the kitchen preparing to eat their breakfast when once again the video moved to stills. This time they were of your reflection in the oven - holding the camera. You had thought at the time, if you were behind the camera it would stop every chance of you accidentally being caught on camera. Apparently not. 

The video had moved on again, this time to stills of Lando arriving on track - of course there was no way for you to get on track without being photographed and you were fine with that because you would just arrive after Lando either with Jon or Charlotte. Photos of you arriving with Jon and Charlotte flashed up - with them you were just another member of staff but put with those other stills and it really did yell out that you and Lando were romantically involved. Finally the flash of purple from Lando’s story. The game was up. 

“Oh my-” You stuttered as the video came to an end. Fortunately your Instagram hadn’t been shown but judged by how skilled you knew the fans to be - it would only be a matter of time. “I feel sick.” You admitted, wiping your hands across your face. Lando still hadn’t said a word, staring blankly at the floor. Max was the first to come up with something logical, turning to you and Lando. 

“It will blow over.” He started, “The fans will soon lose interest and move onto the next big headline. We just need to ignore anything we see regarding the subject.” He moved his attention to you. “Maybe avoid social media for a few days. Let everyone cool down -” Sensing your means to interrupt, he held his hand up. “I know you shouldn’t have to and I know none of this is fair but unfortunately people have no boundaries and believe because it’s on social media it is their business. If they were in our situation, I’m pretty sure they would be the first to complain. Let’s just go along with it for now. It will give you time to think about what to do next.” 

Lando cleared his throat, pulling you closer into him. “I’ve failed you. All I wanted to do was protect you.” At this, Max got up and left. 

Shaking your head, you pressed your lips to his forehead. “You could never. Think about how long we kept it secret for. Besides, until we announce or admit anything - it isn’t confirmed.” You offered, trying to soothe his worries. He nodded, still not convinced. 

“Our love is like a game and it’s not a game I enjoy playing.” He croaked, lacing your fingers together. 

“I know, Lando, I know. Let’s let everything calm down and then we can think about what our next step is.” 

Weeks later and it was the night before you were due to leave for your summer holiday. You would be spending it with Lando and some of his friends and family. Due to the current pandemic, it had been so long since you had been away - even if it was a bigger group of you going; you were still looking forward to spending that quality time with Lando. 

Max had decided to take himself and Tom off to the streaming room - leaving you and Lando to sort out the remaining items you needed for your time away. 

“I have a present for you.” He said suddenly, his hands behind his back. You beamed, taking a step closer to him. He shook his head, “If you want it - “ He pointed at his lips. 

Rolling your eyes, you pecked his lips then held out your hands like a child. Lando chuckled, “Close your eyes.” Hands still outstretched and eyes closed, you waited for Lando to present you with your surprise. He grasped your left wrist and attached something to it - “No peeking.” He added. A moment or two later, he dropped his hold of your wrist and said: “You can open them now.” You could hear the smile on his lips. You opened your eyes and looked straight to your wrist - he had given you a pink watch. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him, his eyes twinkled as he then pointed to the orange watch on his wrist. 

“Watches?” You asked, confusion laced your tone. 

Nodding, he said, “We all have matching watches but in different colours - they are for our holiday away.” 

You gave him a lopsided grin and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love it. Thank you.” 

In the streaming room, Max was having to ignore the majority of the comments because they were all asking the same thing: “Who was the girl from the compilation.” He was trying his hardest to keep moving off the topic, instead showing off the watches - it had been his idea, blue for him, orange for Lando, a child’s watch for Tom and a pink watch for you. He had listed off all of the colours and said who they belonged to: “And then pink-” He paused, mentally face palming. He looked over to Tom for assistance - he hadn’t meant to say pink at all. “And pink is for someone.” He cursed his poor excuse but as if by magic - Lando walked through the door. 

Distracting the stream from his slip up. 

Croatia was a dream come true, the hot summer sun on your back and the time to just relax and recharge. Days spent with Lando sunbathing on the boat or stuck in a tense game of Uno. Not being the only female was brilliant as well - as they got to go off and not feel guilty about leaving you on your own. 

Currently, you and Lando were standing in each other's arms - the afternoon drawing into the evening as the sun began to set. You had your arms around his neck and his arms were around your waist, sighing contentedly you broke the silence: “This is nice.” He pressed his lips into your hair, a sign that he agreed with your statement. In that moment, it was just you and him - everyone seemed to disappear from around you and all worries vanished. It was the simple yet affectionate moments that had always meant the most to you. You felt as though you could relax every muscle in your body, listening to his steady heartbeat - you wished for this moment to never end, to forever be in his arms and to not worry about who sees you there. 

Ever since that compilation had been made, the thought had been on your mind a lot. Were you ready to go public with Lando? At the end of the day you were both happy and surely that was the most important thing. 

Later that night, you were sitting eating your meal when a phone was handed to you, displayed on it was a picture of you and Lando - in each other’s arms. 

Instantly you knew what this meant, looking at Lando you were met with the same expression. He did as well. 

You and Lando had decided it was time to announce your relationship, there was no point sneaking around anymore if people knew and were looking out for you. You had agreed that the best way to do it was if you joined him in a stream, that way they got to know you a bit more for who you were. 

“Is it ok to feel as nervous as I am?” You asked him, pulling up a chair beside him. He was setting up the stream, two mugs of tea placed in front of you. It seemed completely unnatural to sit facing the camera. 

“I mean, this is kind of a big deal so yes I would say, it’s completely natural for you to feel nervous.” He reached for your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. Nodding, you took a deep breath. 

“Ok. I’m ready.” You said, your heart beating at a million miles an hour. The corners of his lips turned up, leaning in to leave you a kiss on the lips. 

“I love you and I’m so proud of you.” He admitted quietly, as though you were the only person in the world, his eyes flickered with complete adoration. 

“I love you too. Now, shall we start it?” 

Lando went to press the start stream button but paused. He turned back to face you, his eyes wide and offered an apologetic smile. 

“What did you do?” You asked, a smile toying at your lips as you had an idea of what it might have been. 

“Stream, meet my girlfriend.” 

He had already started it...