#should i compile all his near death experiences should i do that

[glimmeringtwilight]

Gilded Cage (Part Three)

ok. i'm not going to try to come up with a clever name for this one, this is just. part three. please send an ask or a DM if I missed any CW's! been a while.

Pairing(s): Dottore/Reader, Pantalone/Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: NSFW, drugging (painkillers and other ment), rough sex, biting, threats of mutilation (mild. but it's Dottore), yandere themes, noncon/dubcon, AFAB reader, overstimulation, humiliation

Dottore has been on edge lately. 

You can tell. You can see it in his jaw when he’s sedating you as you lie on the operating table, eyes burning and dark as he stares through you at something presumably only he can see. You can see it in the way his hand sometimes twitches slightly– which bodes terribly for you– as he makes a small incision into your thigh, or your stomach, or your arm.

Most of the time, you think he just cuts into you simply because he can. Because he likes to watch the blood welling from the wound, dripping down your skin. He’s been doing it a lot more lately, sometimes forgetting to sedate you, sometimes forgetting to give you something for the pain, sometimes cutting too deep.

It feels like there’s a storm brewing that you can’t see; curtains drawn so you can’t look out the window and see the magnitude, brace yourself for wind or rain.  

His clones seem to be affected by it, too; usually it’s only ever the younger clones of his that lash out, but even the supposedly older ones are starting to show signs of agitation. You haven’t seen the same test subject twice in what feels like weeks. All of them seem to enter and leave the lab only once– something that should horrify you more than it does, whenever you watch them wheeling the covered bodies past. 

It’s this way for weeks. Dottore stalks around his lab like a harbinger of death, practically oozing poison and malice despite the deceptively calm mask he dons. 

You find out what it is that’s been agitating him when he opens the door to your cell one morning. Not a clone. Not the occasional trembling Fatuus. Him. His eyes burn into you. You can’t make out the emotion in them, but the complete coolness in his expression makes your stomach sink. You wonder, briefly, if he’s going to finally kill you– would that be a mercy, at this point? Killing you? Perhaps not. Knowing him, he’d draw it out. Make it hurt. 

Still, despite the terror that curls its fingers around your throat, you follow him quietly out of the cell and into the lab, staring at the back of his head as you walk and wishing you could read minds so you could at least brace yourself for whatever this is.

The two of you enter the lab and you finally realize what it is that’s crawled under Dottore’s skin, sat at the desk in the corner as though he’s not terribly out of place in the sterile environment. 

Pantalone sits comfortably in one of the chairs near the desk Dottore rarely seems to use, smiling as though he’s received a warm welcome and a parade. Dottore, meanwhile, looks palpably annoyed as he strides past the banker and takes a seat behind the desk, motioning for you to follow. 

It’s… Intensely uncomfortable, to say the least. You rarely find yourself sitting at Dottore’s desk, considering the doctor usually prefers to be conducting experiments rather than sitting and compiling data; he usually delegates that to his clones, who bitch and moan about the boring task. 

So sitting in a chair, next to the two men who’ve each held you captive at different points, as Dottore practically radiates anger… You don’t know what to do. You fold your hands in your lap, avoiding looking at either one, even as you can feel the two of them just… staring. 

You feel like you’re under a microscope, worse than any other time before when you’d been laid out on the operating table under Dottore’s invasive prodding.

Pantalone speaks first, breaking the charged silence. 

“I take it you don’t mind if I verify that this one’s real,” He says, rising from his chair and smiling at the way Dottore visibly bristles. “After all, I’m paying for this, aren’t I? I deserve that much.”

It takes you a moment to realize he’s talking about you, and the demeaning way in which he’s referring to you as though you’re some object that might be counterfeit is both unnerving and irritating. You’re careful not to let it show on your face as Pantalone approaches you. 

“What-” You start to ask, but you’re swiftly interrupted by gloved fingers prying open your mouth, prodding around in search of something that isn’t there. You feel them press down on your tongue, ghost over molars, then press against the back of your throat until you gag. 

Somewhat satisfied, the banker pulls his fingers from your mouth and grips your chin firmly with a now-damp glove, turning your head this way and that and ignoring the obvious discomfort painted on your features as the action smears drool on your skin. What is he doing?

You shoot a glance towards Dottore, who is still just watching. He’s obviously pissed– you can see a vein popping in his forehead, belaying his anger on his otherwise blank face. 

Pantalone lets go of your chin in favor of grabbing you by the arms, pulling you up from your chair and motioning for you to spin around in a circle. You do, though you’re still confused, unsure of what’s happening as the banker seems to be appraising you like a precious gem. It’s a different type of poking and prodding than Dottore’s usual tests and checkups, but it’s invasive nonetheless. It’s doubly unsettling that this is the first time you’ve seen the banker without his usual smarmy smile. 

Hands find your shoulders and stop you again, and you bristle when they trace the curve of your spine, exposed thanks to the open back of the hospital gown. You feel them stop, tap something just to the left of one of your vertebrae, and Pantalone spins you back around to face him, clearly pleased. 

You try not to flinch when he takes a lock of your hair in his hands– it’s gotten so long since you’d been brought back to the lab– and brings it closer to his face. His nose crinkles, palpable disgust on his features, and he mutters something about “that vile soap he makes you use”– likely referring to Dottore– before turning around to face the man in question. 

“Are you done ogling?” Dottore asks, his tone clipped. You can’t see him around the banker, but you’re sure he still looks as pissed as before. 

Pantalone tilts his head slightly, smiling, then glances over his shoulder at you. “Perhaps not yet, but I’m satisfied enough for now. You’ll get the funding for your little… project, and I expect to see this one at my doorstep every other month from now on.”

Every other month? You frown. Is this some sort of… custody arrangement that the two men worked out? You don’t know if you want to laugh or not at the absurdity of it all; like you’re the unfortunate child of two divorced bastards, except this is much, much worse.

“Fine,” Dottore grits out, in a tone that suggests it’s anything but. He gets up to shoo the banker out of his lab, but Pantalone merely tuts and makes his way back over to where you’re standing, confused, and rests one hand heavily on your shoulder.

“One month starting today, of course,” Pantalone continues, “It’s only fair, after all, when you’ve been hoarding my poor pet this whole time. I have to make up for lost time, after all.”

He delivers those words with a smile that only seems to irritate Dottore further, red eyes boring holes into him as Dottore visibly seems to be contemplating murder. Pantalone speaks up again before he does anything, however, offering a hollow consolation: “Of course, I’m not cruel. How about a farewell? A parting gift, to… tide you over while they’re gone?”

You don’t like the sound of that, and Dottore seems to pick up on the banker’s suggestion as you’re spun around once more and ushered towards the exam table you’ve become intimately familiar with for the last several months. 

For this supposedly being Dottore’s “parting gift,” Pantalone is awfully remiss to keep his hands– and commentary– to himself. 

“Ah, what a cute noise that was,” You hear him coo, a finger tapping your nose with just enough force to startle you so you flinch, “Don’t you think you’re being a bit rough though, Doctor?”

“Quiet.”

You jostle against the table, gripping the edge of it for support as hips snap into yours with bruising force. Dottore’s fingers are gripping your hips so tightly you’re sure they’ll leave bruises– that’s probably the point, honestly; he’s fucking you like he intends for you to feel it for the entire month you’ll be absent. 

Pantalone’s comments aren’t helping things either; despite the banker’s comment about roughness, it only seems to have encouraged the doctor to go even harder. 

Thankfully, you were given something for the pain, but not from Dottore. Pantalone had pressed a pill into your gasping mouth when Dottore had started, telling you that you were going to need it, and though swallowing was a struggle, you’re glad he did. 

Dull pain and sharp pleasure mingle together, and you’ve long since lost track of the orgasms that have been dragged out of you. You’re starting to numb, honestly, overstimulation bleeding into pain, and you gasp into the table with every sharp thrust into you. 

“Tsk– don’t pass out now,” Pantalone chides, fingers curling around your jaw and biting into your cheeks when your eyes threaten to flutter shut, and Dottore snarls something about cutting your spinal cord if you do; something you sincerely hope is an empty threat, given the black spots dancing in your vision. “You still have another thirty minutes to go.”

You don’t remember there being a timer set, much less a time limit, but you certainly know you can’t last that much longer. Your knees have already long since given out, and Dottore had to hoist you up further onto the table so he could continue, leaving your feet dangling a few inches above the ground. 

You feel weight against your back, heat, smothering you as Dottore leans down to sink his teeth into your shoulder as he spills inside you once more, and you shudder through another weak orgasm in response, your eyes rolling back and your vision blacking out for several long moments. 

Pantalone shakes you back awake before you can slip too far, and you sob as Dottore starts to move again. You already know that you won’t be able to walk for the next few days, if not for the next week. 

Tears blur your vision, the world spinning around you as a gloved hand comes to rest against your head, petting you in what’s likely intended as a comforting gesture but only seems to frazzle you further, overwhelmed and overstimulated as you are. 

It must be Pantalone, because Dottore lets out an irritated noise, sinking his teeth into your skin to leave a new mark as he resumes the harsh pace he’d set earlier. Another hand, this one not gloved, curls around your throat to dig two fingers into your racing pulse as he tries to engrave himself into your flesh through means slightly less violent than cutting you open. 

You can barely keep track of who’s doing what– your vision is too blurred and you’re too far gone to fully piece together a coherent thought before it and the breath are knocked out of you by another snap of Dottore’s hips. One of them reaches down to rub circles into sensitive nerves, and you sob as another climax is ripped unwillingly out of you. 

You black out for longer this time, shaken awake once more by Pantalone. He’s cooing something at you that you can’t make out, drowned out by the rush of blood in your ears and the sound of Dottore’s ragged breaths mixing in with your own. 

It feels like you’re burning up, shivering weakly under Dottore’s crushing weight as the man seems to be pouring every ounce of frustration into his thrusts, and darkness encroaches on the corners of your vision with every movement. 

Another shuddering orgasm. You twitch weakly through it, your body registering the sensation more than your mind does. 

The world seems to tip, swaying like a vessel rocked by choppy waves before finally capsizing. Your vision goes, and you’re pulled into a sea of static. 

It smells like lilacs. 

It’s the first thing you notice when you slowly come to, a stark contrast to the smell of bleach and copper that you’ve become accustomed to. You’re also dressed in some proper clothes– or rather, ”proper,” compared to the usual paper-thin hospital gowns you’ve worn since being brought back to the lab. 

Opening your eyes, you’re greeted with the familiar luxuries you remember seeing when you were last in Pantalone’s care, and the sight would nearly be a relief if consciousness didn’t bring with it the unbearable ache in every inch of your body. There’s a budding headache building behind your temples, stinging pains from various bites and bruises littering your skin like brands.

It aches most between your legs, but there’s an ache in your thighs and your stomach like you’d pulled every muscle within; you probably did, honestly, but you try to push back the memory invading your thoughts and you sit up in bed. 

“You’re awake,” A silky voice drawls from behind you just as you sit up, and you turn around to see Pantalone sitting in an armchair in the corner, one leg folded over the other as he reads a book. He doesn’t look up as he addresses you; he just pats his knee, indicating he expects you to come to him. You’re not sure you can walk…

Climbing out of the soft bed hurts, various muscles protesting the movement, and you’re not surprised when your knees give out on you the second you rest your weight on your feet. Pantalone simpers at you from where he sits, amused, but he makes no move to help you stand up or walk. He just pats his thigh again, smiling at you. 

“I can’t walk,” Even talking hurts, evidenced by the crackling of your voice when you speak. 

“Then crawl.”

He says it so simply, as though you should have already known the answer. Your ears burn with humiliation. You don’t move.

“Don’t make me punish you on your first day back,” He says, setting his book down so he can properly address you. His tone is disappointed, but you don’t miss the way the bastard’s smile widens at the idea. 

Pantalone’s punishments aren’t nearly as severe as Dottore’s are, at least in terms of pain. Rather than physical punishments, he seems to prefer humiliation. You’re tempted to try your luck, but… everything hurts. You don’t want him to decide you haven’t earned the privilege of clothes– or find something equally humiliating and degrading– on top of the pain you’re already in.

Crawling hurts. Every muscle protests the movement, yet again, but you force yourself to ignore the aches, to ignore the humiliation burning beneath your skin at being made to crawl over to him. 

When you finally reach him you sit up unsteadily so you can climb into his lap, but you’re surprised when he stops you by pressing a gloved hand firmly against your head to keep you planted on your knees in front of him. 

Instead of addressing your confusion, Pantalone merely smiles and takes hold of your wrist, raising your arm to inspect the scars and bruises littering your skin from the months spent under Dottore’s care. His face twists with disgust, shifting into faux sympathy when he addresses you again, “Poor thing. Look what he’s done to you…”

His free hand comes to rest on his knee as he straightens up, uncrossing his legs, and you hear a steady tap tap tap as he drums his index finger against his knee thoughtfully. “Aren’t you glad I’ve brought you back from that wretched place?”

It’s a leading question. You know he expects you to answer correctly, and you get the sense he’s leading into something; a demand. “...Yes.”

“I knew you would be.” He says, dropping your wrist and leaning back comfortably in the armchair. He looks down at you, clearly pleased with the position you’re in. He props one elbow against the arm of the chair, resting his head in his hand as he smiles down at you. “Why don’t you be a good pet and show me just how appreciative you are?”

The implication isn’t lost on you, but whatever hope you’d had that he might mean something else is dashed as he spreads his legs slightly further apart to make room for you between them, and you don’t miss the growing bulge in his dress pants. 

Your hands are numb as you reach for his belt, and you barely flinch when his hand rests heavily against the back of your hand as you take him into your mouth. 

One cage for another. You’re not even sure you’re relieved, because every part of you still aches from the reminders Dottore had left you with. 

His hand presses against the back of your head, guiding you to take him further into your mouth, and you struggle to breathe around his length. You nearly gag as he pushes you down further, pushing back in resistance, and Pantalone clicks his tongue in disappointment but thankfully, lets up. Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin his pants. 

“I’ll get you something for the scarring,” He murmurs, fingers curling in your hair as you bob your head up and down his length. “And those garish bruises.”

Whether it’s an insult towards you or Dottore, you’re not sure. You try not to focus on it, instead focusing on the task at hand. You lave your tongue along the base of his shaft, earning a small shiver and a heady sigh from him. 

He’s silent for a few minutes as you continue to pleasure him, but you feel him boring holes into the top of your head. You don’t look up at him; you don’t want to. You’re trying to get this over with, and hoping that his silence means you’re doing well. 

The hand on the top of your head leaves, and you flinch when you feel him trace his fingers over one of the scabbed over bites left by Dottore, nearly biting down in surprise. You swallow, suppress the urge, resuming your pace even as he traces the outline of every bite left littered along your neck, your collarbone, your shoulders.

Pantalone straightens up a little, pressing his hand against the back of your head again to force you to take more than you already can. This time, he doesn’t relent when you push back, just holding his hand still until you stop whimpering and you manage to swallow back the urge to gag. 

“Hush.” He tells you in response to your muffled noises, groaning quietly at the way your throat vibrates around his cock.

You eventually relax, eventually get used to the feeling, and he lets you pull back slightly before he’s pressing down again, repeating until tears are spilling down your cheeks as you struggle not to reflexively bite down each time you gag slightly around his length. 

“How would you feel about something… permanent?” He asks, and his fingers are tracing the bites again. You try to pull back to answer, but his other hand stops you and he rocks his hips lazily into your mouth. A rhetorical, then; he doesn’t care for your answer.

You try to blink back your tears as you resume the pace you’d set, sucking lightly on his cock as his hand curls into your hair. It’s hard to focus on what he’s saying as his hand keeps threatening to force you down farther than you can take, and you’re focusing on stamping down the swelling nausea. 

“Something- hm-” He hums, and you can tell he’s getting close now, with the way his breathing is starting to deepen, his hand tightening its hold on your hair- “something tasteful. Not like those eyesores he leaves you. A collar is- fuck- too… too easy to remove.”

You don’t like where this is going, but humming your dissent only earns you a pleasured hiss and a rumble of praise spilling from his lips before he’s curling his fingers around the back of your neck. 

It’s the only warning you get before he shoves your head down, holding you there as cum spills into your mouth and down your throat. It takes everything in you to relax your jaw, and you pull back gasping and sputtering the second he relents.

By the time your vision clears and you blink back the tears spilling from your eyes, he’s already tucked himself back into his pants and is just watching you struggle to catch your breath. He doesn’t even comment on the mess of cum and drool that spilled from your lips onto the floor. 

It takes you a second to realize he’s not staring at you, but rather at the marks left on your skin. 

After a minute of tense silence, he smiles again, patting his lap this time in invitation for you to sit, and you ignore the familiar sting of humiliation as you obey. Again, one of his hands curls around the nape of your neck, tracing some pattern into your skin. 

“Right here,” He murmurs, though he doesn’t elaborate when your brows pinch together in confusion.

It takes you a second to realize he’s tracing invisible letters across your nape, then another few to realize it’s his name that he’s tracing into your skin. 

Something tells you that Dottore isn't going to be pleased to see you again at the end of the month.

[miracles-and-butterflies]

Hello! I have a few questions (after compiling all the information about the AU in a google docs haha), hope you don't mind answering them!

Is Dolores mostly doing paper work (like Terry at the start of the series), or is she also actively participating in some dangerous operations/patrol?

How does Dolores feel about the men in the precinct? Are the men in the precinct considerate of her experience, did she tell everyone about it?

Who is the most successful detective in the precinct (i.e. who has the most closed cases)? Either at the start of the series or in the middle, if it’s the major plot point

How do Pedro and Antonio relate to the rest of the cast?

Do you have ideas for the designs of other characters? Which of my designs would you want to change and how (apart from the heights of course)? They are not exactly thought through so no offense really if you don't like them. The most thought was put into Camilo’s design but it really is limited by ‘he seems like a guy who would dress up to work like he’s on a date, just because he appreciates fashion and this is why he is not "afraid" to wear pink’, bUT I might be wrong

Oh, and since we know their ages, are the main characters single or do they have significant others (and children)? Are any of them queer?

Also, is it better to send separate asks for each question...?

Not at all! I love receiving asks! If you forget to mention the AU, don’t worry about it, I usually can work out given context. 😄

Dolores is actively involved in dangerous operations, though it should be noted that she definitely picks her partners to avoid working with certain people *cough* Camilo. The only two who only do paper work being Osvaldo and Rendon.

She has not told any man/detective about her previous experience. The men on the squad are genuinely nice, well, Osvaldo is Hitchcock so that may be debatable. I digress, the only person she has opened up to is Mirabel, who has definitely experienced similar issues - partially due to the job of an assistant/secretary being so over-sexualised.

Any of Isabela, Dolores, Luisa and Camilo would argue to death about themself being their precinct’s best detective. Isabela and Camilo are actively competing about it, similar to Amy and Jake’s bet. Obviously with no romantic implications. They are just competitive and dramatic shits. Dolores probably has the best numbers and definitely brags about it.

Antonio will be this AU’s version of Nikolaj further down the line. Pedro is still Alma’s husband and Bruno’s father, who died in action and is subsequently a famous detective - this was all prior Bruno’s birth, in case you were wondering. But it definitely puts pressure on Bruno to live up to his father’s legacy.

As far as fashion goes…

Mirabel, I believe I discussed her previously? Vintage, formal, shouldn’t look more modern than about 1950. Always in a skirt, blouse and heels.

Dolores is very accurate. Very Amy-coded. A lot of business wear and suits, hair always tied up. Usually with some red or shade of. (They all stick to their colours for the most part). Very professional looking, in summary.

Isabela is very Rosa in terms of style. Boots, leather jacket, looks like she would and could kill you. But with a little more colour and dramatic flair, usually splattered a bit. Definitely has a dyed streak or two in her hair. Winged eyeliner.

Speaking of dramatic flair, let’s talk about Camilo. He is definitely very into fashion!! The most flamboyant dresser in the 99. Probably has been told to change a couple of times by Dolores and/or Bruno. Not professional or business-like at all, probably a lot of bright colours and bold patterns, hell, maybe even sparkles. He dresses for himself and it shows. Definitely wouldn’t be afraid to wear pink.

Luisa also dresses for herself, but nowhere near as dramatic. She prioritises comfort. But still wants her choices to be practical enough for physical activity and athletics, of course. Definitely has little hints of Mirabel’s embroidery in some of her clothes.

Osvaldo, Rendon and Aaron probably stay very close to their source material. Just add a badge and gun, and they are good to go. Basic shirt, trousers, tie, etc.

As for partners…

Osvaldo is unsurprisingly single. Probably has unofficial step-children.

Rendon has a wife, but she is never seen or mentioned by name. He also has two kids, who are fully grown by now, that are never named or mentioned by name either.

Bruno, who is gay, is married to a man, Alfonso Hernandez, who does work as a professor because he’s basically Kevin. (Now that I’m thinking about it, it is highly likely Alfonso taught Mirabel at some point when she was at university).

Dolores and Mariano are together and engaged by the start of the series, but not yet married. Due to being too busy. That will happen later.

Isabela, a lesbian, has a girlfriend/common-law partner, Lili. Secretly. She hasn’t told anyone she works with, they think she is single. She finds it amusing that the squad (mainly just Luisa, Camilo and Aaron) have theories that she secretly kills all of her dates.

Luisa is also a lesbian. She had a serious girlfriend (during the time at her previous precinct) but was dumped because she cared too much for her sister. She was spending a lot of time with Mirabel, who, for context, had gotten caught in a collapsing building accident and was very injured. Their parents were too busy to care for Mirabel, so Luisa became her primary caretaker. She hasn’t gotten back into dating subsequently.

Aaron is divorced and looking to find a new girl. He tries his luck with Mirabel but it doesn’t go anywhere. Will probably get married again to his variant of Genevieve some time lager.

Camilo, gay, is also single. He does experience a couple dates before ultimately getting together with Marco Osma and marry him, but that is much further into the series.

Mirabel is aromantic and asexual. She does not want or need a relationship. Has never been in one or been on a date.

I hope this answers all of your questions! Feel free to send more!

[becauseimanicequeen]

4 Minutes Theories (Ep. 1)

I've compiled my theories from my initial reaction to the trailer and the teaser, as well as a theory I had a few days later in this post and will go through them one by one.

After the first episode, which I watched quite late last night (because of the Olympic opening ceremony), I'm already wrong on some of my initial theories. That's exactly what I expected from a Sammon story.

So, let's see how wrong I was and how (un)likely the other theories are. I might also develop some theories and add some new ones at the end.

Let's go!

The moments Great sees ahead of time are moments that might help him redeem himself from a past mistake/transgression. (Unconfirmed)

This one is unconfirmed, but there might be a pattern emerging where the random moments (seemingly random, at this point) that are reversed, seemed to be reversed for Great to do them over/do better. The first was after the hit and run, and the second was after running into Tyme and leaving him behind. Both started with him running/walking away while he helped them out the second time.

I had a previous idea that Great hitting that person with this car might've triggered his precognitive ability, which seemed to be true in yesterday's episode (kind of) since it was clearly his first time experiencing it. However, I think the root cause of his ability is his heart issues rather than the accident, which Den's research seems to be pointing towards so far.

(Also, since we know this show is playing with time, Great's cardiac arrest/near-death experience could already have happened or might be something that happens in the future or everything we've seen so far is caused by a time loop to fuck with our minds, lol.)

Den's research and the link between the precognitive ability being caused by a cardiac arrest/near-death experience is key here. It also continues to be reinforced by Great laying a hand on his chest when he feels iffy.

The car accident is the trigger for Great’s visions. (Confirmed)

As I mentioned above, the car accident triggered the first precognitive experience he had even though it looks like his heart condition is the root cause of his ability.

So, should I accept this theory or not? Should I give myself my first confirmed theory? Well, I'll probably have a thousand wrongs, so let me just have this one, okay? It might be the only one I get right this time, lol.

Korn is the bad guy. (Unconfirmed)

This man is sus as hell. I mean, just look at all the camera shots of him looking like a mob boss...

Try and tell me he's not sus!

I'm keeping this theory even though I might revise it a bit. Because, to be fair, he doesn't seem to be the bad guy. His dad is currently taking that spot. But I'm pretty sure Korn will have to do some shady shit considering what his dad is pushing him into.

I'm revising this theory to Korn having to do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. And I've got the feeling that it will destroy more than one person he cares about.

What I love about Korn, though, is that he's quiet and laid back (always be aware of the quiet ones). I'm pretty sure there's a beast inside of him (and I don't just mean the beast we saw when he fucked his sugar baby). I would love to see that beast unleashed and wreaking havoc.

(Just do it! If not for yourself, then do it for me. Pretty please. And thank you.)

Title is involved with Korn (might be brothers or boss/minion). (Unconfirmed)

Well, he's not a brother. At least not the kind of brother to show up in the family photo.

He might still get/be involved with Korn and have a boss/employee relationship, so I'm keeping this theory for now.

Tonkla has a target on his back. (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for Fuaiz/Tonkla.

Depending on what he does with Korn (because I'm feeling some betrayal coming up for them), and considering he's getting valuable info from Korn, Tonkla could be a potential threat to Korn/Korn's dad and the family business in the future.

I'm worried about this angel-faced sugar baby who clearly wants something more out of his relationship with his daddy Korn. But it could also be a fun spin on things if Tonkla is the betrayer in this relationship way before Korn tries to cast him aside.

If so, destroy everything in your path, baby. You have my full support.

Win is battling some contrasting, opposing forces (internal and/or external). (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for JJay/Win. It was all about the contrasting colors.

Win hasn't been introduced in the story, yet. But, I might have a new theory that goes hand-in-hand with this one. And that theory is that Win might be working for Korn or Korn's family's business, the shady side of the business. He might be a programmer or something. He will cross paths with Tonkla (and I'm pretty sure they will start a thing together because baby is starving for affection and there was a short clip in the trailer that I'm pretty sure is Fuaiz and JJay), and the battle Win has to fight might be his attachment/feelings for Tonkla versus his loyalty (?) to his boss.

Den is a neurologist and friends with Tyme. (Half-confirmed)

Not that this theory matters much anymore, since Den is looking into the cardiac arrest/near-death experiences and "the 4-minutes phenomenon" (which it says on his board) either way.

So, I will drop this theory and say that it's half-confirmed? That's pretty fair, isn't it?

Den has a situationship with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I'm keeping this theory only because I want it to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the chemistry between Korn and Tonkla and their dynamic is really interesting so I definitely want to see more of them (and I know we'll get more).

But, also... I suddenly want Korn to get shot so Den can work his magic (medicine) to save Korn and develop things from there.

(This is purely because I want some Bas and Job things to happen. I got Ta and Barcode in DFF, can I get Bas and Job here? Pretty please. And thank you.)

But, please, sir, keep the glasses on because Korn is one sus (and handsome) man.

Dome is a mystery person operating under the radar without showing his true alliance until the end. (Unconfirmed)

We haven't seen Dome yet. But...

You know the woman Great hit? The woman who had a son Great's age? Yeah?

Dome is her son.

There's a 25% chance I might be right (the other three options are Tonkla, Win, or no one that's part of the story). But I'm choosing Dome because I need Mio in every episode even if he's just mentioned (but I preferably want to see him act, so give him to me!).

Also, wouldn't it be bonkers if the woman (did they mention her name, btw?) is in debt because of gambling and her son (Dome) goes out seeking revenge because of her suicide attempt, which could lead to me getting Bible and Mio in one frame together? Give it to me.

(Honestly, this could very well be Tonkla too. I'm just adding this as a whisper here because I know Sammon will make me change my mind a hundred times before it's confirmed, lol. And, sometimes, I should just trust my whispers...)

Great and Win are brothers who will butt heads from time to time. (Wrong)

Well, this theory crashed and burned.

Turns out Korn and Great are brothers. Half brothers who seem to have a good relationship.

But...

Honestly, even though another brother hasn't been confirmed nor denied (and even though there wasn't an additional sibling in the family photo), this could still potentially be an unconfirmed theory (because Sammon always fucks with my head, lol). Who knows what Great's dad has been up to? That's one shady man.

But, fine...

I will scrap this theory. I will admit my defeat and let it go.

Fasai is the other character with a condition similar to Great’s (alternatively, it's Tyme). (Unconfirmed)

We haven't seen Fasai, yet, but we've heard about her.

Even though we haven't seen her yet, I don't think this theory will be confirmed. But, until I've actually seen her and know she doesn't have a precognitive ability, I'll keep this theory in unconfirmed mode.

I'm pretty sure this will be proven wrong soon, though, because I think the other person with a precognitive ability that was mentioned in the trailer might be the woman who talked to (and flirted with?) Den. (I think her name was Lukwa?)

So, prove my initial theory wrong, Sammon.

Fasai is locked up and has a connection with Korn (who locked her up). (Unconfirmed)

The locked-up part was based on me thinking this woman from the trailer was Fasai:

But this is possibly Lukwa instead. So, I'm letting go of the part of my theory that Fasai is locked up.

The part about her having a connection to Korn, however...

Before the first episode, I thought she might be a sister (which was proven wrong, if we're to believe the family photo). Considering how Korn talked about her when he talked to his dad on the phone, though, I'm thinking she might be a close friend/relative (or a client) or someone Korn is "dating". There's definitely a connection between Fasai and Korn either way.

Great sometimes enter a kind of dream world. (Unconfirmed)

I don't mean this in the way they showed us how he sees things and is transported back in time. I mean in the sense that he sees things while sleeping/being unconscious and/or experiences moments or visions of the past/future.

Kind of like in this scene from the trailer where he's in a solitary room with that woman in the image above and the light becomes increasingly red as he stares off into the distance:

That red light also flashed during the scene with the patient (whom I believe is Great) having a cardiac arrest at the beginning of the first episode:

This scene connects to the scene in the trailer because of that red light. So, both these scenes might have a connection to the "dream world" (I should've called this something better, lol). Perhaps Great "enters" this world when he's having his heart problems/near-death experience?

Or, perhaps the "dream world" is a parallel universe? Too much? Okay, let's move on...

Great’s (Bible’s) tattoos have something to do with the story. (Because I refuse to believe otherwise! lol) (Unconfirmed)

I swear I'm keeping this theory because it hasn't been confirmed (or denied), yet. That's the only reason I'm keeping this theory.

I swear...

(Let's see if this cropped image will stop my post from getting flagged...)

Great becomes Korn’s target because he can see ahead of time. (Unconfirmed)

Highly unlikely considering they're brothers who seem really close. But, I'm keeping this theory because I've previously mentioned the beast currently sleeping inside Korn. And I have no idea what's going to happen if/when he releases it.

Will he become so ruthless in his pursuit to prove himself to his dad that he'll go after Great as well? We'll see.

Great hit the person with his car at 11:01 (or they died at 11:01) and that’s why he sees clocks stopping at that time. (Wrong)

He hit her at 12:43, so this theory is wrong.

I could keep the part of her dying at 11:01 unconfirmed, because that hasn't happened yet (if it ever will). But I'm choosing to let that one go as well because my theory was that this would be why Great kept seeing clocks at 11:01. But he already does that, and she's still alive. So, I'm letting this one go.

Instead, I'm changing this into a new theory where I think the 11:01 might've been when Great had his cardiac arrest, which might've been why this clock was shown after that sequence at the beginning of the episode:

11:01 is when Great can see 4 minutes into the future. (Wrong)

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Someone will die/fake their death. (Unconfirmed)

Well, that seems pretty obvious, right? Look how smart I am, lmfao.

Anyway...

New theories after the 1st episode:

Here, I'll gather the new theories I have (to make it simpler for myself to find them next week) and add one or two other ones I've come up with.

Korn will do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. I've got the feeling it will destroy more than one person he cares about.

Tonkla will betray Korn.

Great has a cardiac arrest/near-death experience at 11:01.

The visions Great had of himself and Tyme together might be a sign that he has been pushed a lot further than just 4 minutes back in time to fix things (but has no clear memory of it other than these random flashes that may or may not continue happening). (I might expand on this theory in a separate post, but I don't promise anything. ADDED: here's the post about this theory.)

Tyme will have a near-death experience (perhaps after being shot) and develop his own precognitive ability, which he will use to help Great in the future (this might not happen since it could potentially be too similar to Triage, but it's still a possibility).

Results so far:

Theories before ep 1: 18

Confirmed theories: 1.5

Unconfirmed theories: 13.5

Wrong/scrapped theories: 3

New theories after ep 1: 5

[haomnyangz]

i dont think ive ever talked abt this here but forever obsessed w/ the difference in aerrow vs carver fights 1x01 nd 2x08

like in 1x01 aerrow has literally just been knighted and has never fought in a one on one Real Fight which shows by the way hes just yeeting himself on the offensive like the child has no concept of Defense in that fight hes just angry

and hes still angry in 2x08 but hes not letting it make him reckless all his movements r Calculated and Seasoned and also way more defensive which is expected since he fought A Lot in between these episodes

and ALSO he can only do his fancy little move in 1x01 bc carver pisses him off but 2x08 hes just doing it for the drama of it all for the cameras dahling

its good choreography choices brent

[threadedsafetypin]

Sammy Lawrence Having Imposter Syndrome? It’s More Likely Than You Think! (Part 1/2)

This is a conversation I had with @inkdemonapologist on discord, and I’ve compiled our back and forth into a post. I was theorizing about how Sammy might have genuinely had a hard time coming up with compositions at the studio. And a very interesting conversation ensued. Link to Part Two

By all accounts, Sammy Lawrence is musical genius. Joey especially heaps nothing but praise on him. But the thing that most impresses Joey about Sammy and made him want to hire the man- his ability to improvise songs effortlessly and match his playing to people’s singing, are not things that would have come up in Sammy’s job at JDS. In fact, Sammy’s specific talents could not be more designed to work AGAINST him at the studio.

The two previous jobs we know that Sammy had were playing for silent movies at the theater and playing live at events. In both instances, Sammy’s talent of easily being able to improvise music is highlighted to us. He’s obviously very good, something that he and everyone else knows. And Joey gets it into his head quite easily that Sammy is Perfect and Exactly What He Needs. But his conversation with Sammy about wanting to hire him raises more than a few red flags. It’s REALLY apparent that Sammy is not AT ALL familiar with, not just Bendy, but animation as a whole. Joey says his studio produces the Bendy cartoons, a word which is used once by Joey and then is not used again because Sammy continuously says the word movie instead to talk about the job. He says he’ll need a projector to play along with the movie. That he wants to see what kind of movies to studio makes. It honestly doesn’t seem like Sammy has much of a grasp of what a cartoon even is and calling it a “movie” is the only conceptual framework he has to work with: after all, it comes from a studio and plays on a film reel. It’s some type of movie, right? And to be fair, Joey does nothing to clarify things. In fact, Joey specifically is too busy getting caught up in his own mind games (and fantasizing about giving Sammy a near-death experience because he isn’t emoting the way Joey wants) that when Sammy initially asks if Joey means he makes films, Joey decides to ""match"" Sammy’s ""coyness"" by replying as vaguely as possible.

So Sammy just sort of accepts his own self-made explanation of what the job is and Joey just sort of accepts that Sammy knows exactly what he is talking about. To compound things, Joey’s offer isn’t for Sammy to simply compose the music but to be the music director. So in effect, Sammy is going from "writing songs and playing music live" to "managing a music department, all its employees from technicians to musicians to voice actors, and being responsible for every single piece of sound and audio for an animation studio.” Something which he, it cannot be stressed enough, has ZERO EXPERIENCE doing. Even so, a decent amount of Sammy’s stress could have been alleviated by efficiently delegating things. But Sammy, entirely of his own accord, clings tightly to as much control as he possibly can. Shazz gave the very plausible explanation that Sammy is so used to controlling every single thing about his music that he has no idea how to sustainably scale that up. Even though the amount of total work for an animation studio is so much bigger than any one person could or should reasonably do, Sammy continues trying to control every single thing. And Joey loves it! He enjoys bragging about how everything has Sammy’s personal touch to it. He spins it as an impressive feat that only Sammy could do and as such, how his studio is all the more special for it.

But we know that Sammy is struggling, feeling like he’s drowning in work. And not simply in terms of having to run all the various aspects of the music department. Sammy’s 1935 audio log where he complains “four cartoons almost complete and all of them need a tune by tomorrow” makes it clear that he feels overwhelmed writing the music itself. This is....very telling. Cartoons at the time mostly stuck to a 7-8 minute length. Sammy, who spent his teenage years playing music for feature length movies with complete confidence and ease as he made up a score on the spot, feels in over his head scrambling to write four comparatively very short songs. I’ll also note that June 16th, 1935 was on a Sunday. As in, Sammy spent his weekend trying to do this task before the work week started on Monday. If Sammy’s amazing skill is to watch something once and quickly whip up a functional score in the process, why was Sammy working so much extra time on songwriting that it was causing some pretty debilitating mental stress?

I’m going to propose something: Sammy is actually very bad at writing music.....for cartoons.

There is a strong underlying reason why Sammy is so good at improvising music in real time. He picks up his signals from the environment. For all that Sammy doesn’t like being the center of attention, there is a very crucial human element to improv that he thrives on incorporating into his music. Sammy doesn’t look at sheet music when he plays because he is focused on looking at people. Whether it’s capturing the emotion from actors on the screen or perfectly matching a singer’s pace no matter if they suddenly sped up or slow down without warning, Sammy primarily keeps his attention on a lot of subtle cues from what’s happening in the moment. Take away the human element and replace it with drawings and Sammy has a lot less to build from.

There’s also the fact that Sammy being incredibly good at improvising songs on the spot does NOT inherently translate to being good at FINISHING songs quickly. If anything, I think he would struggle with the opposite. For live music playing, you can’t go back and re-do anything. You just play in the moment and whatever happens, happens. Given how acutely Sammy tailors each performance when he plays, it’s more than likely that Sammy’s always worked with the mentality that there isn’t One Correct Way to play a piece of music, only The Best Way For The Current Situation. Which is one thing when it comes to a movie score that you’re going to play numerous times over the span of many showings with absolutely no expectation from anyone that it needs to be exactly the same each time. Or playing song requests for people that each have their own unique voice and range. Each version of the song is equally valid so long as it suits the moment. But making music for animations where the score gets recorded once and That’s It and whatever that is will have his name stamped to it as the Exact Way It’s Supposed To Sound, I could see Sammy feeling a pressure that’s totally different from what he’s used to.

Shazz nicely summed up this theory as "Sammy Is Much Better At Playing Improvisationally Because Once You Give Him Extra Time He Will Use All Of The Time He's Given." Like, I imagine that Sammy understands that the plain fact that at some point when you’re on a deadline, things eventually have to be DONE regardless of whether it’s really done or not. But I can also see Sammy interrupting the musicians five minutes before RECORDING sign goes on because he’s decided to change some measures and don’t you dare try to argue because he’s the one who wrote the song and up to the moment it’s actually recorded, it’s subject to change by him.

It really is hard to overstate that composing for cartoons is absolutely NOTHING like what Sammy was doing before. Joey watched Sammy play, was obviously impressed because Sammy is genuinely very good, and then just decided that Sammy Is A Musical Genius And Expert In What Joey’s Cartoons Need without considering that Sammy is like... in his 20s and has no experience composing music for a cartoon and might not actually be an expert in what's needed for those circumstances. And Sammy heard the prospect of a job offer and tried to parse out what exactly Joey wanted him to do, and then just decided that Cartoons Are Movies So He’ll Do The Same Thing He knows How To Do For Movies and asks Joey for a projector and demands to have creative control over the music he makes. Without considering that being the head of a music department at a studio is a giant hecking job and having to compose a score for something in its production is different than playing an already finished product and tailoring it to a specific performance.

This is possibly part of why Sammy stubbornly sticks around and is a feasible explanation for some of his irritation and temper. Sammy already has so many hints of Gifted Child Syndrome (as noted by Shazz) and this just fits right in. "These stupid cartoon songs don't write themselves, y'know" = "OBVIOUSLY THESE ARE JUST DUMB CARTOONS AND OBVIOUSLY THEY’RE NOT HARD TO WRITE MUSIC FOR BUT ALSO THEY’RE NOT DONE YET AND THAT’S YOUR FAULT OBVIOUSLY." Like, Sammy agreed to something that probably sounded very easy to him and it turned out that his talent did not translate well to it and he doesn't want to admit how hard it actually is to write songs in this incredibly different format because he’s NEVER struggled with music before in his life. So instead, he gets defensive and stubborn and demanding rather than admit anything is wrong, even though there was honestly no reason he had to be PERFECT at this aside from his own expectations about himself and Joey’s unending hype about him on top of it.

Speaking of Joey, it would also fit REALLY WELL into the meta-context of TIOL if this all were true. We know Joey’s a liar. So much of TIOL is trying to figure out what is probably honest (because it's not a lie Joey would tell/because it would be too hard to lie about) and what is probably exaggerated (because Joey has incentive to lie about it/because it's contradicted elsewhere). When Joey talks about how great and amazing and talented Sammy is, he sure does talk like he does when he's stretching the truth. But to what end? Well Joey FREQUENTLY uses praise as a weapon with people. Notably with Buddy in DCTL but also with several other characters in TIOL. It’s basically his main tactic for dealing with people. The idea that Joey is intentionally hyping Sammy up as a Brilliant Genius Musician Who Knows Just What To Do when in the background he can probably tell he's pushing Sammy to his limits after throwing him in the deep end, is not only a really intriguing place to take that, but also works really well with the idea of Sammy feeling like he HAS to live up to this now. Sammy has never known anything but success. Failure is truly NOT an option in his mind. And Joey specifically does not allow it to become one either. There is no better position for Joey to hold Sammy in than one where Sammy keeps doing great work but is barely holding his head above water to do it, all the while Joey’s glowing remarks about Sammy’s skill to everyone else keeps him backed into a corner.

I have even more thoughts about all this, but I think I will put that up in another post because this has already gotten quite long. But I still got to talk about how Jack fits in....

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

In which Yachi avoids Death several times

Genre: Crack Warnings: Mentions of death and possibly dangerous scenarios but nothing actually happens lol. A/N: Happy Birthday to the sweetest, cutest and one of the most underrated characters in Haikyuu! When I was writing this, at first I thought that I was probably overexaggerating Yachi's panic but I went and watched compilations of her on YouTube and...yeah this seems pretty in character lmao.

I wrote this in an HC-type format because it wouldn't fit well in any other type. Please also enjoy a photo collection our beloved Yachchan freaking out.

➾ It was New Year's and Hinata convinced all his fellow third years to visit the shrine with him.

➾ "It's what all our Senpai did before their important matches and we should honor that tradition."

➾ Tsukki only came because Yamaguchi forced him to.

➾ After praying, everyone decided to pull O-mikuji fortune strips.

➾ "Ooooo I got a good one! What does yours say, Yachi?" Hinata asked.

➾ "I- I- I- IT SAYS I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!!"

➾ Hinata and Yamaguchi panicked. "WHAT?! Does it really say that??"

➾ It turned out Yachi had pulled "Great Curse", the worst result one can get.

➾ To her, that meant she was going to die.

➾ You know, the logical conclusion.

➾ After a lot of futile attempts to console her, Yamaguchi decided to go a different way. "You know, Yacchan, these are daily O-mikuji. They only tell you how your day is going to go, you have nothing to worry about. You just need to survive the next 24 hours."

➾ A confused Hinata started to counter Yamaguchi, "I don't think that's corr- OW! Kageyama, what did you do that for?!" Hinata asked Kageyama, who had just elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up. Realization finally dawning on him, he continued, "Yes, Yachi, Tadashi is right. The curse will blow over soon."

➾ "THAT MEANS I AM GOING TO DIE IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS?! I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE," Yachi started bawling.

➾ "No, no. That's not what I meant! You won't die. Look, we all pulled blessings. That means whatever we do, we will succeed in it. We will stay with you and protect you, all right?"

➾ The four of them spent the entire day "protecting" Yachi from then on. It was really good they did because she did have several near-death experiences (/s) -

She clung to the shrine railing, refusing to go down the stairs because she was afraid she would trip and fall and crack her neck.

Hinata and Yamaguchi had to half-drag, half-carry her.

She wouldn't get in a cab because, you know, car accidents.

So, they opted to walk to places instead.

They walked in a formation. Tsukishima rolling his eyes at the front, Kageyama at the back, Hinata and Yamaguchi on the sides, and Yachi in the middle.

Hinata called it the ✨Blessing Shield✨.

Crossing the roads was exceptionally embarrassing, though.

"How about we go and get something to eat? I'm starving," Hinata suggested.

This sounded like a good idea to Yachi until the server put the food in front of her and she didn't touch it because she did not want to die of food poisoning.

Yamaguchi suggested going to his place where he could cook something but he was shut down because he lived too far away to walk there.

She finally agreed to eat chips after checking the expiry date 50 times.

"Yachi, are you okay? You've been chewing on a single chip for the past two minutes."

"Yes, I'm just making sure to crush it properly before swallowing. I don't want it to accidentally get lodged in my throat and make me choke."

"Oh."

It took her more than an hour to finish the entire packet.

They decided to walk to a nearby park and sit there until it would be time to go home.

On the way, Yachi was approached by an old lady.

"Sweet child, could you tell me the directions to th-"

"I'M SORRY."

"Huh?"

"I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING FROM YOU, PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME TO DEATH WITH YOUR WALKING STICK."

"What the-"

Once the boys had helped the lady and calmed Yachi down, they started walking towards the park again.

They stopped at a public washroom on the way.

Yachi wanted to go really badly but was afraid to enter. "I will be alone in there. What if I slip and fall and break my head? What if I catch an infection? What if the toilet overflows and floods the entire restroom and I drown? WHAT IF A CRIMINAL IS WAITING IN THERE WITH A KNIFE TO ROB AND KILL ME?"

"All right, that's it. I'm calling for help," Tsukishima said and whipped out his phone. He spoke to someone for two minutes and handed Yachi the phone. "Here. It's Shimizu Senpai."

After talking to Kiyoko for a few minutes, Yachi came back with a smile on her face and handed Tsukki his phone back.

"I'm good now. Kiyoko senpai made me realize I was worried for nothing."

"Th-that's great. So, you're not afraid of dying, anymore?"

"In the future? Yes. But today? No."

The boys heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for protecting me. All of you."

"Of course. Anything for you."

Hope you enjoyed! I really love Yachi and that's why I had chosen to write for her in @meiansmistress's collab event and what better occasion to post this than her birthday?

MASTERLIST

Buy me a Kofi! <3

[swtltlmrvlgrl]

Stay Until the Rain Stops

Summary:

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier AU. In Bucky’s search of what his “normal” looks like, he finds the reader sitting in a dark alleyway giving shelter to everything else, besides herself.

This story is part of my one-shot compilations inspired by the song “You Shine” from the musical “Carrie”, wherein two people see the way each other shines. This is NOT related to the previously uploaded story called “Accidents Happen”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic!sam wilson and peter parker)

Warning/s: allergies, rain, fever, fainting, awkward

Word Count: 4,750

-----

“How can I leave you if you’re looking at me like that?”

You were on your way home from work, and it was raining heavily. To prevent the rain from soaking your bag and the important papers due tomorrow inside it, you positioned it in front of you - as if you’re cradling a baby in your arms. You were typing something on your phone when you heard a cry coming from the direction of the alleyway, you looked around to check if people noticed it too.

The sound of the cry hit too close to home that you weren’t able to ignore it. You walked towards and into the dark alleyway. With one umbrella in hand and your phone on the other, you turned on your phone’s flashlight and searched for the source of the soft cries.

You found it, and it is EXACTLY what you thought it was. Staring straight into your eyes with its pleading puppy dog eyes is obviously a puppy. It’s soaking wet inside a cardboard box. You immediately take off your grey cardigan and crouch down.

“Your parents left you here, huh?” You say, while wrapping the cardigan around the puppy.

You sit down - indian style - and place the box between your thighs. You pull the box and your bag closer to your body to make sure that the dog and your bag is properly placed under the umbrella, not minding the huge droplets of water accumulating on your back.

“I’m sorry.” You tell the puppy.” This is the only thing that I can do.”

The puppy wags its tail slowly. It breaks your heart that you can’t take the puppy home, but you’re allergic to dogs and puppies. The mere fact that you actually had contact with this puppy right now will have its consequences tonight or tomorrow, it’s fine but having it with you every day is a death sentence. Of course, you WOULD know.

When you were a child, you would ask your mother everyday to visit your aunt’s place because she had five dogs. You knew you were allergic to dogs so you made sure that you always drink your antihistamine after visiting your aunt’s house. But after playing with her dogs the whole day for 5 consecutive days, your body did not respond to the antihistamine anymore and you had to be rushed to the hospital. The worst part is, ever since that day, you’re not allowed to visit your aunt’s house and play with her dogs. You can only admire dogs from afar. That experience left a void in your heart that can only be filled by watching dog videos everyday.

“Ah!” You remember that you have a leftover carrot in the lunch box. “Today is your lucky day champ.” You scramble through your things. “My lunch was cut short so I have a few pieces of carrots left.”

You mash the carrots with your fingers, making it easier for the puppy to eat. “Here you go.” The puppy licks the mashed carrots at the tip of your index finger. “Good?” You ask, after you see him finishing up the food. The puppy wags its tail enthusiastically. “Man, how long have you been here?”

The puppy barks in response. “A long time huh?” You pat its head. “Okay. Here’s a deal.” You take his right paw with your right hand. “I’ll ask around the office tomorrow. I promise I’ll find you a new parent. Okay?” You shake his paw and he barks.

-----

Ever since he moved in one week ago, Bucky would always check the alleyway near his apartment building. It’s been pretty quiet and normal these past few days.

But not today.

Even with his hood up, he could clearly hear something in the alleyway. He walked slowly and stealthily, and found shelter a few meters away from the unfamiliar entity.

From where he was standing, he recognized the shape of an umbrella, and a box resting on what seemed like legs in denim jeans. He heard a voice, your voice, having a conservation with … the box?

Wait.

Did the box...bark?

“I’ll stay here until the rain stops.” He heard you say.

Bucky contemplated on what you just said. Is she out of her mind? He looked up and stretched his hands out to check if the rain would stop any time soon. An obvious, no.

After clicking his tongue, he clenched his jaw, and walked briskly towards your direction. He can’t just leave you there soaking under the rain.

Ah, Bucky was caught with a sudden pang of nostalgia. It’s been a while since I saved an irresponsibly impulsive person.

-----

The sound of footsteps approaching you puts you on high alert. The puppy must’ve smelled your fear and starts barking towards the direction of the stranger. The entity stops a few steps away from you. You hold your breath and pray that today won’t be your last day on earth. The puppy stops barking.

After a moment of silence, you hear three small taps on your umbrella. The person at the opposite side of the umbrella cleared his (you assumed he’s a man because of his deep voice) throat.

“I- uh - overheard your conversation with the thing in the box” He starts saying.

You pull your umbrella up, exposing the dog wrapped in grey cardigan and your drenched self to the man. Seeing the state that you’re in, Bucky swiftly takes off his leather jacket, leaving him with only his hoodie to cover his body from the rain, and proceeds to wrap it around you.

“My jacket’s a little wet too but...” He says. “This can warm you up a little.” He takes the handle of your umbrella. “I don’t think the rain’s going to stop any time soon.” Before you can say anything, he stretches his arms out for you to hold. “Maybe we should go and seek shelter first?”

----

“James Buchanan Barnes.” He introduces himself.”But you can call me Bucky.”

You can’t really tell him that he doesn’t need to introduce himself, cause you already know him. You work in the Avengers tower after all, and Sam Wilson has been talking about his new cyborg-brained partner coming in a week.

As a mechanical engineer, you’ve always been fascinated by the technologies coming from Wakanda, and you’ve been particularly curious about his metal arm. But you can’t really tell him that now, can you? Especially now that you’re inside his apartment while drying your hair with his towel. Good thing you always pack extra sets of clothes, it would’ve been awkward if he offers you his clothes, as well.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” You tell him. “Thank you for saving me and the puppy out there. I’m actually...” You sigh. “...allergic to dogs and puppies so I can’t adopt him and take him home.” You continue, while playing with the tip of the towel. “I know this is too much to ask after everything you did but is it okay if he stays with you for now?”

Bucky isn’t responding. He can’t. How can he take care of a puppy, he can’t even take care of himself.

“I’ll find him a parent tomorrow, I promise.” You assure him, while putting the towel down and facing him.

“Sure.” Bucky gives a half-hearted response, while forcing a smile.

You heave a sigh of relief “Thanks!” You run towards him and shake his hands. “You’re a hero.”

Hero. That’s probably the last word that Bucky will use to describe himself, but he won’t deny that being called like that felt good. He didn’t even notice the way his half-hearted smile turned into a full one.

“You can stay here if you want.” Bucky offers as you let go of his hand.

You were taken aback by the offer. I mean, staying with Mr. Barnes would entail a lot of chances to ask him about the arm and maybe more about the Wakandan technology. But that’s too much to ask from him in a day, he’s just being polite and you don’t want to impose.

“Thank you so much for the offer. But I would have to decline.” You say.

The curve on Bucky’s face disappears. “Okay.”

“Okay.” You say in a hushed voice.

“I can take you ho - “ The sound from the puppy cuts Bucky mid-sentence.

The puppy must’ve understood what you just said, and started barking and crying. You and Bucky look at each other for a moment, then to the dog and to each other again. Bucky smirks, and you smile back. You both start walking towards the crying dog. You crouch down and pat the puppy’s head.

“Hey.” He stops crying and wags his tail, while aggressively rubbing his head and his muzzle in your hand. “I have to go.” The puppy starts crying again, a little louder than the first one.

You take a deep breath and sigh. “You’re using the crying technique again. We meet for 5 seconds and you already know my weakness. You’re even using it against me.”

You hear Bucky’s small chuckle from behind.

“Fine.” You rub his head a few more times. “I’ll stay. But no more touching, ‘kay?” The puppy barks once and wags his tail. He does a small twirl and pats your gray sweater-turned-dog-blanket and makes himself comfortable.

You breathe out and slowly stand to face Bucky.

“Don’t apologize.” Bucky starts talking before you could say anything. “The puppy actually did a better job than me in convincing you to stay. I mean -” Bucky rubs his nape and points at the wall clock. “It’s already late. I think it would be best if you stay here for the night.”

“I really, really don’t want to impose. But I also don’t want to leave him crying in your apartment. I promise I’ll go home early in the morning.”

“Sure.” He pauses. “You mentioned that you’re - uh - allergic to dogs, I can go out to buy medicine for you.”

“Oh no no. No need. I actually have some with me.”

“Water?” Bucky offers.

You nod your head. “Thank you.”

“Actually - uhm -” You stop him before he goes to fetch you some water. “I have something to tell you.” You pause for a moment to gather all the necessary strength that you would need for this confession. “We’re actually office or work mates… ish?”

Bucky raises his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I work at the Avengers Tower.” You say it as fast as you can. “But I’m not like you, or like a superhero or something. I work at the engineering department.” You confess. “Sam, your partner, I help him sometimes with his gears. He has been talking about you since last week.”

“Well. That man really likes talking a lot huh.” Bucky responds.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know how I’m going to tell you without it being awkward.”

“I don’t think we can get any more awkward than this, Y/N.”

“Agreed.”

“So work mates, huh?”

“Yep.”

“That’s actually good news.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’ll have someone with me on my first day.”

The tension and the awkwardness between the two of you started to disappear. Having some kind of a connection and a common friend, made Bucky feel a bit more relaxed and at ease. You, on the other hand, feel better because you don’t have anything to hide. You still haven’t told him about your interest for his Wakandan arm, but that’s a completely different story.

While you were drinking your antihistamine, Bucky took out his blankets and his extra pillows and laid them all on the sofa, where you will be sleeping for the night. After which, he arranges a pair of pillows and a blanket on the floor, a few steps away from the sofa, where he will be sleeping.

You really feel bad about this set-up, especially with Bucky just sleeping on the floor with just blankets serving as his cushion, but Sam sometimes tells you stories about vets having a difficult time sleeping on beds. It felt too soft, Sam would say, like the ground is eating them alive. Which is why, no matter how uncomfortable it looks and feels to you, you did your best to not put Bucky in a position where he has to explain himself and his feelings.

Bucky turns off the lights, except the lampshade beside the television.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

-----

You wake up to a very cold sensation, sending shivers down your spine. Your eyes feel heavy and you somehow find it difficult to breathe. Slowly, you open your eyes to wake up and try to sit up. Now you realize, it’s not just your eyes or your breathing is heavy, your whole body feels heavy.

This isn’t good.

You scan through the room to look for Bucky only to find a small piece of paper neatly placed on the table with a glass of water on top to prevent it from being taken away by the wind. His note was written at the center of the short bond paper with a black pen, his penmanship was surprisingly neat and easy to understand.

I’ll just go out for a walk. I’ll be back soon. - Bucky

You massage your head and look at the time. It’s 5 am. A little earlier than what you’re used to, maybe that explains why you’re feeling a little under the weather. Drinking the water made you feel a little better, you massage your head and walk towards the puppy. Seeing him sleeping soundly, gave you a sense of relief.

“Sleep well.” You whisper.

The sound of your phone ringing surprised you. Just from the ring tone alone, you know that it’s work-related. You pace towards your bag and search for your phone. You look at the screen. It’s Sam.

“Hey Sam. What’s up?”

“Y/N. I’m sorry to wake you early in the morning.”

“No probs. I’m already awake.”

“This early? That's new.”

You chuckle. “Yeah. ‘Cause I had a feeling you’d call. Women’s intuition.”

Sam laughs. “Right. I need your help in fixing Red Wing for a mission later, can you come?”

“Like now?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure. I’ll just fix myself and go there.”

“Is that Y/N?” You hear a voice from the background, based on the pitch of the voice, it has to be Peter. “Y/N! I need help with my web shooters too!”

“I just leave for a night and everyone misses me already huh.”

“Perks of being the gang’s favorite engineer.” Sam quips. “We have breakfast here too. We’ll wait for you.”

“Come faster, I’m hungry!” Peter shouts. “And I’ll be late for class!”

“Sure sure. I’ll go now. Bye Sam.”

“Thanks, Y/N. See you.”

“Wait! Sam!” You shout, stopping Sam from hanging up the phone “I have a favor to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Is there a room for a puppy in the Tower?”

“A puppy?” Sam pauses. “Wait, Y/N. Aren’t you allergic to puppies?”

“I’ll explain later.” You tell Sam, while putting out a pen from your bag and then reaching for the piece of paper Bucky previously wrote on.

“Okay. I guess it can stay in my room.”

“Yes! Thanks Sam, see you!” Then you hang up.

Hi Bucky. Good morning. Sorry but I have to leave. Duty calls. I feel bad that I won’t be able to come with you on your first day at the tower but you can always pass by the Eng’g department if you’re free. I’ll be there the whole day.

Also, good news! Sam’s willing to adopt the puppy, so I’ll be taking it with me.

Thank you for everything and sorry for the trouble that I caused.

-Y/N

You pick up the box carefully, so as not to wake the puppy up and went out.

—————

“If you’re looking for Y/N she’s in the clinic.” Sam tells Bucky whose eyes were searching the building room. Inside his backpack was a piece of sandwich because you were and a small carton of milk he bought on his way home early morning, but wasn’t able to give you or the puppy because you weren’t there when he came back. “And the puppy’s in my room.” Sam adds.

“I see.” Bucky answers, trying to be as indifferent sounding as possible. But deep inside, he’s actually worried about you. Is it because of her allergies? Maybe I shouldn’t have let you stay in the same room as the dog.

“It’s not her allergies.” Sam says, like he read exactly what’s in Bucky’s mind.

“Good.”

Both Sam and Bucky enter the elevator going to the 5th floor where most of the weapons, tools and equipment are found. Upon arriving, Sam points at the second door at the right side area, on top of it is a huge sign written with black paint saying ‘Engineering Department’.

Sam opens the door. Lo and Behold at the far end of the room, wearing safety goggles, holding a soldering pen, with sparks flying all over the place, was you.

“I thought she’s in the clinic.”.

“My god! Y/N! I told you to stay in the clinic.” Sam ignores what Bucky just said and walks straight towards you. “I leave you for what? Thirty minutes? and you’re -” Sam takes his eyes off of you and shoots angry glances at the engineering staff. “And you all didn’t even stop her.”

“You know, she can’t be stopped when she’s in the zone.” One of the staff answers and the others nod in agreement.

“In the zone or not, she has a fever for god’s sake.”

“Don’t be mad Sam, I was the one who told them to not stop me.” You continue to solder on Red Wing’s fuel control unit.

“That’s a first. They never listen to you.” Sam stands at the opposite side of your working table with his arms crossed on his chest, the volume of his voice is lower, almost like a murmur.

“In my defense, you’re the one who asked for my help.” You pull the magnifying glass and adjust it a few inches away from the mechanism.

“That was because I didn’t know you had a high fever.” The moment you stop soldering, Sam pulls the magnifier away from Red Wing, making you put your full attention on the man standing in front of you. “I can handle this Y/N. Rest. Now.”

You pull the magnifier back and continue with your work. “Where’s Rain?” You’re attempting to change the topic.

“Who’s Rain?” The familiarity coming from the voice made you stop, you were expecting to see him today but not this soon. You put down the soldering pen, push your goggles up to your forehead.

“Hey Bucky.” You greet him. Bucky notices how pale you are and yet your smile never faltered. Your adorable awkwardness is still present as well.

“Hey.” He responds. “So... ‘Rain’... the puppy’s name?”

“Yeah. Peter, Sam and I named him this morning”

“Wait.” Sam interjects and looks at Bucky. “So, Y/N can call you Bucky but I can’t?”

Bucky ignores Sam’s comment, steps forward and points at Red Wing. “How long are you planning to fix that?”

You look at your wrist watch and then at Red Wing. “I’ll be done in 20-30 minutes.”

“Make it 10 minutes.” Bucky challenges. “If you’re not yet done by then. I’ll be carrying you out of this room and into the clinic.”

“Wait. What?”

“What? Can’t do it? I thought people working here are the best of the best.” Bucky pushes further.

You squint at him and then to Sam and then sighs. “Fine.” You set the alarm to ten minutes and then plug one of the airpods in your ear. “I’ll walk to the clinic myself.” Then plugs the other airpod to the other ear. “See you in 10 minutes.”

“And just like that, you listen to him?” Sam comments and puts his hands on his waist.

Bucky puts his hand on Sam’s shoulder “I had years of experience looking out for irresponsibly impulsive people.” He nods his head inviting Sam to step outside.

-----

“So Y/N reminds you of Steve, huh.” Sam says after getting out of your office.

Bucky smirks. “If by that, you mean, she reminds me of the times that I have to check alleyways ‘cause the sickly Steve “too-stubborn-to run-away-from-a-fight” Rogers might be out there somewhere, then yes.”

“Good thing she’s not the fighting type” Sam continues. “That would’ve given me a headache.”

“She's irresponsible, reckless and impulsive.” Bucky adds. “But she’s a good person.”

“That is something we can agree on.” Sam says.

-----

“I’m done!” With just a few seconds to spare, you shout and raise your two hands to celebrate. Sam and Bucky must’ve heard you cause a few seconds later, they enter the room and walk straight to your work station.

“I did it!” After congratulating you and giving you a high five, the two of them position themselves on each of your sides, Sam on your left and Bucky on your right.

“Now.” You take off your gloves, your goggles and your industrial apron. “A deal is a deal, I will walk - “

Thump.

The goggles that you were supposed to place on the table fell on the ground.

“Y/N!” Sam calls out and immediately checks your pulse. “She’s still alive. Just unconscious. She must’ve fainted because of her high fever.”

“I’ll take her to the clinic.” Bucky hoists you up and carries you like a princess. Bucky starts to run and Sam tries to follow after Bucky, but Bucky was too fast.

“The clinic’s on the 2nd floor.” Sam shouts at the running form of Bucky.

“FRIDAY.” Sam gets the AI’s attention.

“Yes, Mr. Wilson.”

“Please tell the clinic that Bucky will be taking Y/N there.” Sam commands. “Also, show Bucky the directions, I don’t think he knows the way to the clinic yet.”

“Understood.”

“Thanks FRIDAY.”

-----

The shape and form of the room you’re staying at becomes clearer as you slowly open your eyes. Everything in the room is white, white sheets, white curtains, white wallpaper, the cabinets are also painted white. Something or should you say someone, sitting on the white couch does not follow the all-white aesthetic of the room. He was wearing black leader jacket on top of a blue henley. His metal arm is holding a Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban book, while his flesh hand is flipping through the page. His expression is priceless, you can tell from his expression alone that he’s very invested in the scene that he’s reading.

“How long was I asleep?” Your voice catches Bucky’s attention, you kind of regretted speaking too soon, maybe you should’ve let him read for a while longer. “You’re already on the third book.”

“Let’s just say I’m a fast reader.” Bucky smiles and puts down the book on the table beside the couch. “You’ve been out for about …” He looks at his smartphone. “ 7, 8 hrs.”

“That explains my growling stomach.” You push yourself up into a sitting position, with the pillow serving as the cushion between your back and the bed’s headboard.

Bucky gets two trays of food in the small refrigerator and places them inside the microwave. “Sam gave us food before leaving for the mission. He told me that food will be the first thing that you will ask for, once you wake up.”

You laugh at Sam’s comment. “He isn’t wrong though.”

“Are you feeling better now?” Ding. Bucky takes out the first tray of food to the microwave and then places the second one. With the tray in one hand, he pulls the table with the other. He places the tray on top of the table in front of you.

“Thanks.” You fix the tray and Bucky goes back to the microwave oven. “I’m feeling much better now. Thank you.”

You search around the room for a place where Bucky can eat but you found none. So while Bucky was busy finding the utensils and getting the second tray from the microwave, you scoot your way towards the side of the bed and push the table outwards. This way, you and Bucky can sit beside each other and can eat on an actual table.

Bucky notices what you did and hesitates a little. You smiled at him, to reassure him and pat the empty space beside you. From the time when he first met you, he hasn’t been able to resist that smile. He’s starting to think that maybe this isn’t just because you reminded him of Steve.

“Sam hasn’t come back from the mission?” You start the conversation.

“No.” Bucky chews on the food inside his mouth. “The mission got a little delayed, they might come back late.”

You take a spoonful of rice to eat. “Who’s he with?”

Bucky thinks for a moment. “He’s with Clint and Scott if I remember correctly.”

“Why didn’t you join them?”

“I was -” Bucky takes a sip from the glass of water beside him. “I was busy reading.”

You almost choke on what you were eating. “You read three books!” You laugh. “You must’ve been exhausting.”

“Well the book isn’t going to read itself, you know.”

You both laugh at your sarcastic banter. The two of you continue your conversation while talking about how Bucky’s first day at the Avengers tower went. He was introduced to a few avengers present at the tower and the staff and he toured around the compound. He also mentions something about having a room in the tower, where he can stay if he wants to.

Bucky notices how you were gathering the boiled carrots on one side of your plate. “You hate carrots?”

“Oh!” You were surprised that he noticed. “I actually love carrots. I’m just saving these.” You point at the carrots. ”for Rain.”

He looks at his almost empty plate. “You should’ve told me that we’re doing that. I could have saved some for him too.”

“Giving him a place to stay for the night is enough.” You assure him. “I’ll take care of the food.”

“Too late for task distribution. I already bought him milk.”

“You did?!”

Bucky nods.

“I literally just met you yesterday, and I already owe you a lot. How can I even start repaying you.

“Well.” Bucky thinks about it for a second and smiles mischievously. “Sam must’ve mentioned something about your interest to the Wakandan tech.”

“He did?!” You cringe and facepalm at the amount of shame that you feel. “Well. That’s not a good first impression, isn’t it.”

“As a matter of fact, it IS a good first impression. You’re really good at what you do Y/N.”

“Why do I find that hard to believe?” You chuckle. “But yeah,” You continue. ”I can’t deny my interest. I probably talk about the Wakandan tech at least once a day. Thrice, if you’re Sam Wilson.”

“With that being said,” Bucky says. “You can repay me by allowing me to join your conversations about the tech.” Bucky flexes the fingers of his metal arm. “And I can use some help in checking up on this one. I mean, if it’s alright with you?”

“Of course it is! You don’t need to ask to join, you can join in anytime you want! You’ll have a valuable input to the conversation. You’ve been there personally and you’ve experienced their technology first hand.” You take Bucky’s metal hand and sandwich it in between yours. “Thank you, Bucky.” You squeeze Bucky’s hand and let it go. “I’m betting Sam told you about my obsession with Wakandan tech.”

“In your defense, Sam talks a lot.” Bucky assures you.

“He does. And he would hate it if you join our conversations.”

“I’m counting on that.”

“But seriously, I would love you - “ You pause. “I mean - you joining our -”

“I would love that too.”

Bucky doesn’t let you finish your sentence. You didn’t need to. It wasn’t necessary. In a span of two days, you made Bucky feel the most comfortable, and awkward but moreso, you made him feel normal. Despite knowing who he is, you didn’t show any signs of fear, or pity. You just showed yourself. And it was enough to make him think and feel that whatever it is that you would love to do, he wants to be part of it, too.

End

A/N: This came out longer than expected! Hahaha. I would usually limit my one-shots to 1-2k words but this came out loner than expected. I had a lot of fun writing Sam and Bucky's dynamic! You have to have that good balance of care and sarcasm between the two of them. That was enjoyable to do (that's probably why this ended up having 4,5k+ words). Did you enjoy reading it? I hope you did! Feel free to write your thoughts below!

Masterlist

[robbyrobinson]

The Magician's Nephew (Review)

The Magician's Nephew. If The Last Battle is the Narnian equivalent of the Book of Revelation, then this book is Genesis.

In the Earth year 1900, we follow a young Digory Kirke and his friend Polly who end up getting whisked into the Wood Between Worlds by his uncle Andrew an amateur magician who was experimenting around with magic rings.

On a larger scale, the book answers many questions that the series compiled up to this point such as how Father Christmas entered Narnia nearing the end of the White Witch's reign and how Digory became familiar with Narnia as well as how the Pevensie children wound up in Narnia through the wardrobe.

As always, the imagery is on point: when Digory and Polly first visit Charn, it is a barren wasteland with the buildings reduced to ruins as though fantastical nukes were deployed.

And, of course, Aslan's creation of Narnia is majestic and magnificent. At first, the kids, Andrew, Frank, and Jadis all enter a world completely black and devoid of all life. And, yet, out of that darkness, there came a mixture of roaring and singing as the visage of a Great Lion stride in the darkness setting the stars in the sky. Land animals broke through having been formed from the dust of the Earth with each one appointed different tasks with the threat of their newly-found sapience being revoked should they disobey Aslan. And then Aslan blesses Frank and his wife as the first rulers of Narnia because "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth."

I like the concept that there is a multiverse in the Narnian universe because how it was mentioned how Aslan never wanted to feel tied down to one country and it certainly explains how Father Christmas was able to get to Narnia. However, other than the destroyed world of Charn, we don't get much insight into the other potential dimensions. I do understand but I couldn't help but be intrigued with what they looked like and what form Aslan took there.

However, the novel somewhat suffers from what could be seen as inconsistencies. For one, the Stone Table.

The Stone Table is, as you could guess, a large slab of stone that was inscribed with mystical symbols. Representing Deep Magic, it more or less ensured that all traitors belonged to the White Witch which made it legal for her to kill them.

Unbeknownst to her, there existed still a Deeper Magic from Before the Dawn of Time where if an innocent took the traitor's place on the Stone Table, it would crack, and death works backward. This was clearly what Aslan was intending when he voluntarily dies in Edmund's place.

The Stone Table is not mentioned in The Magician's Nephew, bizarre because the ritual was pretty ancient. Though, frankly, I am not bothered by that because you could make the argument that because Narnia was new, there was no concept of death because no one died at that moment before evil was brought into Narnia by the White Witch. So the Stone Table would not become a thing until thousands or hundreds of years later around the time the White Witch returned after the Tree of Protection repelled her for so long.

The series also makes it clear that the Emperor-Over-the-Sea created Narnia, but here, it is Aslan who is singing the world into existence. Again, it could be that the Emperor created Narnia through Aslan if you go by the notion that he and his father represent two parts of the Holy Trinity as evidenced by the Gospel of John referring to Jesus as the Word and how the Word was God.

With no mention of the Deep Magic and Deeper Magic here, I personally theorize that the Emperor already imparted the magic on Narnia before Aslan began creating the realm. Can't forget how the Tree of Protection and the silver apples are never mentioned again beyond this point.

Most damning has to be Jadis herself. The LWW has Mr. and Mrs. Beaver speculate that she was a giantess-djinn hybrid who also had some Lilith blood in her veins. But here, we learn that not only was a false ruler of Narnia, but she wasn't even FROM there originally. She was the matriarch of another world who was in a war with her sister over the throne. They both agreed to not use magic, but she claims that her sister was the first one to break that vow which led to Jadis paying a terrible price to learn the most dangerous and lethal of dark magic.

As her sister neared victory, Jadis spoke the Deplorable Word which left the speaker alive while it killed all other forms of life. And I mean it: everything died. No birds; no magical beasts; not even bacteria to decay any fabrics. A completely dead world wherein Jadis put herself into an enchanted sleep waiting for some schmuck to awaken her with the bell.

She at first tries to take over England and forces Andrew to serve her before she ends up in Narnia as it was being created. She tries to kill Aslan with a lamppost, but it bounces off him and is planted in the ground becoming the lamp post we see in LWW. She steals an apple from the Tree of Youth tempting Digory with an apple with which he could either eat it himself and become immortal alongside Jadis, or give it to his mother on Earth.

Of course, Digory elects to Aslan's words and while Jadis did obtain her heart's desire, it came at the cost of her being eternally miserable which turns out to be a bullet Digory unknowingly dodged.

Aside from those inconsistencies, the book does its job of adding lore to the Narnian series and setting the stage for the White Witch's eventual defeat.

Score: 7/10

[lesbiansforboromir]

If a person wanted to write Boromir fic, do you have any tips on how to capture the Tolkieny tone in writing/best scenes to re-read for characterization?

LET ME SEE if I can’t compile a nice guide for you;

First thing’s first! Boromir does not include his own feelings into his statements unless it’s utterly against his will, such as the ring-controlled scene. In fact his discussion with Frodo is the first and last time he expresses his emotions verbally at all and even then it seems to be squeezed out of him in the midst of his ranting ‘how it ANGERS me’ like he is almost shocked at how angry he actually is in that moment, so much so that he can’t hold it back like normal. 

‘I am’ statements in general don’t come often either. He doesn’t use ‘I’ at all if he can help it. If he is describing the war or some conflicts or battles, he uses ‘us’ or ‘we’ ‘Some said that it could be seen, like a great black horseman, a dark shadow under the moon. Wherever he came a madness filled our foes, but fear fell on our boldest, so that horse and man gave way and fled. Only a remnant of our eastern force came back, destroying the last bridge that still stood amid the ruins of Osgiliath. 'I was in the company that held the bridge, until it was cast down behind us. Four only were saved by swimming: my brother and myself and two others.’ Here he mentions himself only as an explanation for the circumstances, and goes quickly back to talking as a collective. (This is the first and last time he mentions Faramir too, and never by name)

The times when Boromir uses ‘I’ statements most is for defining his own actions and intent or when he is offering advice. 'I have let my horn cry at setting forth, and though thereafter we may walk in the shadows, I will not go forth as a thief in the night.' He is clear to himself and others about what he will and won’t accept. 'I will add a word of advice, if I may,' said Boromir. 'I was born under the shadow of the White Mountains and know something of journeys in the high places. We shall meet bitter cold, if no worse, before we come down on the other side. It will not help us to keep so secret that we are frozen to death. When we leave here, where there are still a few trees and bushes, each of us should carry a faggot of wood, as large as he can bear.' Note here he is also polite but in a confident manner. ‘If I may’ is added to acknowledge that he is not the leader of the company, but he is not shy with offering his advice and assuming it useful. 

When he’s in more familiar and less strict circumstances, and actually sometimes even when he isn’t, Boromir has what I would call a... hint of sarcasm in his tone at all times. He’s always got a little sardonic wit with him,  `Let those call it the wind who will; there are fell voices on the air; and these stones are aimed at us.' See? It’s not... OVERT but it’s definitely a little long suffering/etc. Boromir... talks like an old man I guess is my point. 'What do you say to fire?' asked Boromir suddenly. 'The choice seems near now between fire and death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us.' ESPECIALLY when he’s talking to Gandalf, there’s just a bit of dark humour and ‘cheek’. `I do not know which to hope,' said Boromir grimly: `that Gandalf will find what he seeks, or that coming to the cliff we shall find the gates lost for ever. All choices seem ill, and to be caught between wolves and the wall the likeliest chance. Lead on!' jhadsjd BITCHY... but very funny and he’s right. And here also, ‘wolves and the wall’, he tends towards almost... poetic isn’t quite the word but he likes sayings and flowing dialogue. 

Continuing on from that point, Boromir is also generally... not WARM but he’s got a way of speaking that is comfortable and confident in comradery. Especially with Gimli, actually, he often makes these lighter sighed statements that have a lick of humour to them. Again, it’s never particularly overt, more of a constant underlying note in his wording, even in the latter parts of the fellowship. `Ah, it is as I said,' growled Gimli. 'It was no ordinary storm. It is the ill will of Caradhras. He does not love Elves and Dwarves, and that drift was laid to cut off our escape.' 'But happily your Caradhras has forgotten that you have Men with you,' said Boromir, who came up at that moment. `And doughty Men too, if I may say it; though lesser men with spades might have served you better.’ This is one of my favourite lines of his it’s just like... confident, not over proud, you can hear him grinning and the leetle wry tone he’s speaking in. Even here! In like the very last days of his life, he still has this quality! 

We might labour far upstream and yet miss it in the fog. I fear we must leave the River now, and make for the portage-way as best we can from here.' `That would not be easy, even if we were all Men,' said Boromir.     `Yet such as we are we will try it,' said Aragorn.  'Aye, we will,' said Gimli. `The legs of Men will lag on a rough road, while a Dwarf goes on, be the burden twice his own weight, Master Boromir! ' (later) 'Well, here we are, and here we must pass another night,' said Boromir. `We need sleep, and even if Aragorn had a mind to pass the Gates of Argonath by night, we are all too tired-except, no doubt, our sturdy dwarf.'     Gimli made no reply: he was nodding as he sat.

AND ANOTHER THING. Whilst Boromir CAN be an orator and give long speeches, he tends towards economy of speech. This is especially noticeable, again, between him and Gandalf. Gandalf will go on for three paragraphs about something, patronising him, explaining a lot of unnecessary stuff to sound clever. And then Boromir will just answer with; `We do not know what he expects,' said Boromir. `He may watch all roads, likely and unlikely. In that case to enter Moria would be to walk into a trap, hardly better than knocking at the gates of the Dark Tower itself. The name of Moria is black.' And that’s it! AND HE’S FFUCKIN RIGHT GGSHAHGS

So you’re usually going to be trying to narrow down his speech to it’s bare essentials in order to get the point across and nothing more. Stream lined, impersonal, confident and clear are the hallmarks of Boromir’s speech patterns. NO. SHOUTING. Unless to be heard or in a brief flash of shock, immediately restrained afterwards. Actually if Boromir has any kind of outburst, he tends to walk away from whatever situation caused it rather than allow anything to escalate. Boromir’s verbal tone is almost always neutral, wry or reassuring/comfortable. From experience, I can tell you this is... GRUELLING to write. You want so desperately for him to say what he’s thinking and feeling, what’s important to him, but he’s utterly incapable unless briefly possessed by evil. Not even when he’s literally dying will this change, though that might be because it was Aragorn at his deathside. Which brings me onto my final point.

We actually have no idea how Boromir might interact with people he actually likes and is friends with, let alone his family. I’m inclined to believe that warm comradery element just becomes more overt but little else changes. But you’re entirely at liberty to decide for yourself. Certainly though it is different from how he behaves throughout the fellowship. We never really meet Boromir... is a thought I can hardly bare so we’re STOPPING now. 

[cherrysweather]

Feather Necklace

Simon Blackquill x F!Reader TW: Character death, sad & angry Simon, sad Taka, bad writing 10.825 words total (Of pure trash) ^-- (I think)

It should be sad, but it really isn't; I'm sorry :( (This is the "remake" of my first work "As long as I live")

(I won't link it because it deserves to be forgotten completely)

Enjoy some Blackquill content people <3

“Ok so, are we ready for this?”

“As much as I want to say that I’m ready, I’m not” the woman laughed softly, approaching her friend that was screwing around with the controls of the program

“Weren’t you the one that was waiting for this experiment most?”

“Indeed, but if you’re the one who’s guiding it, I’m afraid that the chances of exploding with the whole laboratory are slightly increased, Aura”

“EXCUSE ME. You’re rude, don’t start behaving like that weeb of your husband” she huffed and almost threw something at her friend

“Remember that he’s also your brother” she laughed and approached the eldest of the two Blackquill siblings with her chair

“Of course, BUT, unlike you, I didn’t choose to spend all my life with him, so you’re the one who got yourself into that mess of a person” she tried to sound as cold as possible, as if to scold her

“Stop it, I’ll get cavities from all this love” she huffed, smiling to herself and looking at Aura from the corner of her eyes not to miss her reaction

“Can you- shut up and think about the experiment!” Aura hit her on the arm as strongly as she could to make her turn and hide the blush that was building on her cheeks “You should be the one guiding it! I don’t even work here anymore!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him” she laughed, trying to stop Aura’s hand from hitting her, adjusting herself on the chair “Now come on, or that directo on two wheels will come to be a pain in the ass”

“You’ll think about him, it’s just your director now” Aura sighed before turning back to the screen and controls before her. She checked everything one last time before giving the ok and starting the engines of a prototype rocket, the same that was in the actual rocket that the center will send to the moon next.

“It seems that nothing has exploded”

“Yet” Aura finished her friend’s phrase, both writing what it seemed and not seemed weird, out of place or completely wrong “If it doesn’t explode by itself I’ll set it on fire” she laughed, throwing herself back against the chair, crossing her hands behind her head and enjoying the show.

“Maybe it is better that you don’t work here anymore, arsonist”

“Hey! Since I came here for the first time I always wanted to set something important on fire” she argued way too seriously

“If you want to do that... I’ll watch from the outside” the other woman gradually lowered her voice to avoid inciting her friend

“So you want to see it too!” she started laughing like a proud child, proud of the trouble she had just caused. Their arguing was interrupted by a sudden roaring sound followed by a slight tremor of the ground

“... I think the engines committed suicide on their own” the not arsonist of the two tried to remain serious, but seeing the look on Aura’s face, cheeks full of air to hold back the laughter, she too burst out laughing, dragging Aura with her. “We should warn the other downstairs, maybe something saved itself?” she slowly got up the chair, stapling the paper where she wrote what went wrong

“Actually, Ms. Blackquill junior, you should warn who has to tidy up everything but” she stopped to point at the clock behind her “You also need to go home; the center will close in two hours but your shift is already over. You should stop working this much, at least these last months before that screaming being is born" she sighed, pointing her friend's belly

“I’m fine this way, if I work until late then I come home destroyed and Simon won’t have to listen to me so much before I collapse” she smiled at her, walking out of the laboratory to find who was watching downstairs and hand them the documents that she and Aura had compiled. Outside, the sun was setting and the woods around the building were starting to look quieter like every day around this moment of the day.

“I think he’s waiting somewhere” Aura pointed outside the window the sky and only after some seconds she understood, seeing the large wings and the tiny bandana around Taka’s neck

“Probably he finished work early”

“Unlike SOMEONE” Aura threw her elbow at her friend’s arm

“He's probably preparing to lecture me about my working hours too, you don't need to put yourself in the middle of it too” she slapped Aura’s arm, looking her badly before breaking in a small smile, not being able to get mad at her. That small smile remained on her face as she followed the raptor around the sky with her eyes, almost slipping down the stairs that, to look at the hawk, she had not noticed.

“I see an idiot at 12 o'clock” Aura raised both her voice and arm when she recognized that bichrome pillar that was his brother "Want me to give those documents? He seems already pissed and I don't want to talk to him in that state" Aura whispered to her friend's ear, trying not to laugh right against it

"If you want to give them in my place, I need to sign them" she hit Aura's forehead with hers, taking a pen from a desk after raising her hand to greet Simon too, smiling at him

"Come on then, sign them" Aura clapped her hands lightly to spur her friend to hurry up

"Turn around" she waited for Aura to turn on her own, having to turn her around on her own, since she remained frozen with a confused look on the face. She used Aura's back as a surface to sign the papers, trying not to push her "Here, you can deliver the documents now" she waiter for Aura to take the documents from her hand with that smile she knew pissed her off from how innocent it looked

"I felt like an object. For the first time in my entire life" she took the documents and didn't even give a second goodbye to her friend before leaving, passing near her brother to hit him, for fun, as a greeting.

Following shortly after, the newest member of their family approached Simon, making space in his folded arm to rest her head on his chest, hugging him. "Good evening handsome, bad day at work?" she looked up at him, her chin pressed against his chest and her fingers playing with the tips of his hair falling off his shoulders He hinted a smile, looking down at her too

"Right now I'm feeling a bit better" he passed a hand over her hair before stopping it and placing his wide palm against her cheek, slowly moving his thumb against it

She closed her eyes in those brief moment in which he moved his thumb on her face "I saw Taka flying around in the woods, since when you leave him so free?"

"If it's around here, I feel enough confident to leave him free" he felt something pinch his chest when he looked at her relaxed face, but before she could question his presumably dark expression, he was already dragging her out the center, holding one of her hands in a grip you could call deadly, but it was kind enough not to hurt her, as if she was about to disappear right in front of his eyes.

"Taka bit me again, he really doesn't like me" the girl giggled softly, passing a hand where the hawk bit her, noticing the red skin

"He just needs time to adjust to your presence, hawks work this way" Simon looked up from the documents he was working on, approaching her "Don't worry, he'll understand too how gentle and caring you are" he moved a lock of her hair behind her ear before gently looking where his pet bit her

"Not that he has to, I understand that you two have been together for years and now there's an intruder in your territory" she tried to hide the demonstration of the warmth she felt on her cheeks by moving her head a lot while talking, making Simon smile

"Come with me, some cold water and a skin cream should prevent a scar or a blood crust" he took her hand in his, bringing her to the bathroom nearby "And don't worry, he will hear me"

Luckily it all changed; the bird that before liked to bit her, was now the one that always found a cozy nest on her lap and allowed her to play with his feathers. One thing she always brings with her is, actually, a necklace that Simon gifted her years ago, of which the pendant is made of some feathers that Taka had lost; the small size and the ruined look, as much as she has always looked after them, marked the age of that object that Simon, for some years now, kept asking her to eliminate, embarrassed by his past gesture but also because he wanted to see a new one around her neck.

"You worked until now, would you be interested in a break? With me?" as soon as Simon tried to sit and finish reviewing some documents, she was already there, trying to stop him from exhausting himself like every other day "With some food? I've also bought a bottle of sake last ti-"

"You can't drink alcohol" he cut her off abruptly, looking towards where she was leaning against the door of his studio

"In fact, I bought it for you" she huffed, and looked at him back, starting a staring contest "Don't make me do it the hard way" she kept looking his eyes, completely entering the studio

"Hard way? You? And what would you do exactly?" he smirked and slowly lowered his head, looking back at his documents.

She waited some seconds before shaking her head and approach him "You wanted it" she pushed his chair away from the desk, moving him slowly because of her low strength compared to his weight; she tried to open his arms but he fought back, doing his best to keep them closed before giving up to please her, watching what she had in mind. She looked at him, searching for a comfortable position and how to achieve it, standing beside his legs before sitting on his lap; sitting in a really gentle way.

"Oh- Oh heck. You're not so light anymore you know" he caught his breath again before hugging her waist with both his arms, softly smiling at her and using her shoulder as a support for his chin

"E-EXCUSE YOU" she hit him in the hardest way she could on his arm "You're telling me I'm fat?! You-"

"Can I- Can I talk?!" he laughed, taking her hands in his to stop her hits "You're the same, it's this, thing, that gives you more weight" he pointed her belly

"Oh right, that thing that appears to be your daughter" she looked at her with an offended look, following his hand with the eyes as it moved

"Our, you're the one who's baking her" he slowly passed his hand on her abdomen, searching for some movement before being surprised by her laughs

"I'm baking her? I like it!" she gently hit his jaw with her shoulder "She's a little bread loaf" she poked Simon's hand that was on her stomach before trying to cover it with her own

"An unusually calm bread loaf" he laid his head on her chest, moving his hand in small moves to better feel the almost unnoticeable pushes the tiny being inside her was giving to the belly

"Yeah, she's pretty calm these days" a chuckle escaped her lips

"Certainly not like her mother" he dodged the hit she intended for his head, resting his back flat against his chair to create stillness before breaking it, taking her in his arms and going to the living room, placing her gently on the couch, not without her complaints "You wanted a break? I hope you're happy now" he took off his coat and jacket, checking the food for Taka and placing it near his branch to allow him to eat

"I'll be happy when you eat something, as if I don't know you enough to know that you don't even watch food since this morning" she slowly got up from the couch again, heading to the kitchen "So, my dear, we have: some cooked white rice, fruit, lots of fruit, there are also some leftovers of Athena's biscuits. What do you want?" she set the table with a bit of everything, taking also the sake she promised him

"You should also eat more and stop thinking only about me when you hav-"

"Oh myy, stop lecturing me" she cut him off, stopping in time his lecture at birth "I just try to compensate for your bad habits" she handed him some rice when he sat down, smiling at him to diffuse the tension between them

"... You should learn to take care of yourself first, before thinking about other people" he ate something to keep his calm before looking up again, slowly breathing and placing down his plate

"Listen, you have been insisting on this thing for days now; care to explain what do you want to say? It's bad that I care for your health knowing that it wasn't your priority for seven years?"

"It's also been four years now since I came back or am I wrong? This care of yours for others becomes bad when you prefer to ignore your health, hoping that somehow your body will heal by itself"

"What are y-"

"And don't start treating me like an idiot, I saw the medical reports you kept preciously hidden; hidden to whom you promised to say everything long ago, I don't know if you even remember" his look on her was reproachful but he didn't have the courage, the mental strength to inflict on her the frustration that had accumulated in him in those days, the fear, the pain, the sadness he refused to show "When were you going to tell me? A stone’s throw from the grave? When you’d collapse to death and I’d have to drag you to the hospital without having any idea what was going on with you?"

She fell into total silence, her eyes refused to look anywhere but the floor, her brain was processing everything that was going on and searched for words that weren't "Sorry" "Simon, please listen" she fell silent, expecting to be interrupted by Simon, but he remained silent, watching her and waiting for her to find the right words to express herself.

That. That look of horror in Simon's eyes was what punched her right in the chest, forcing her to rest her back against the chair for some seconds to feel something supporting her to not panic completely "I- I don't know why I didn't tell you, I didn't want to bother you to-" she fought to keep inside the sobs that cut her words. She got up, searching some water to regain her composure before her chest was pressed against Simon's, her arm held by the grip of one of his hand, took right before she could go and greet the floor

"Stay still, you're trembling" he kept her near his chest, feeling her breath heave more and more every second

"I was scared..."

Without looking at her, he gently pushed her until her back rested against the wall, his arm hugged her body, his hand kept her head against his chest, his face hidden in her hair.

She placed her hands on his chest, placing her ear where his heart was, finding comfort in his heartbeat "S-Simon, I'm sorry" she kept trembling, and slowly a pool of tears collected on his shirt

"Calm down, remain there, it's warm" he could feel it too, her tears warmed her face, his chest, her fingers, her hair, but inside they were both freezing, a deathly cold that easily annihilated each word they were trying to speak.

She searched protection in his neck, breathing his scent and trying to calm down, murmuring sorry after sorry, feeling the guilt hit her head.

From how hard he clenched his fists, his nails almost seemed to pierce the skin of his palm, his knuckles bone-white from how much he was keeping inside everything to be her rock and shelter in that crucial moment. He then slowly moved his hand, hiding more his face in her hair when again, his skin felt the warmth of her belly; she ended up crying even more, moving her hands on his back to have a better grip on him and not allowing him to disappear

"Simon.." she fearfully looked up at him, but his face was well hidden between her long locks of hair, as he permitted himself to shed one single tear

"I'm here, you're not alone in this" he talked just above her ear to make sure she was the only one hearing

The hold they had on each other recounted many stories, all the stories that in seven years they could not tell each other.

The thin then thick layer of sweat that covered both their bodies, their heavy breaths, the burning yet pleasant feeling on his back, the ache in her wrists that made her feel at home, protected, with him at her side.

"You're not going anywhere anymore, for a looong time" she slowed said, quietly chuckling and caressing Simon's nape with her fingers, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes, enjoying every single movement of Simon's hands on her body.

He hid his nose in the crook of her neck, bathing his senses in the perfume he missed so much but was too reluctant to admit, too caught up with that feeling -too nostalgic for him- of her fingers slowly untangling the knots in his hair, now much longer than she remembers it. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither will you" he surrounded her waist with his arm, improvising a probable wrestling move to reverse them and find himself on top of her, resting on her chest and playing with that old necklace she still wore

"You could've avoided that" she laughed with the little breath that Simon's graceful fall on her had left her, taking advantage of their new position to frame his face with her hands, slowly passing her thumbs on the dark signs under his eyes, smiling as his face relaxed under her touch.

He took her almost threat literally when not even two full years later, he gave Taka the tiny box containing the ring she still wore, the two of them framed in the pink of the cherry blossoms, his face full of uneasiness and pure panic, properly hidden under his poker face. His ways of doing so clumsy about anything involved exposing his feelings was one of the things that won her over in the first place that distant day when he asked her out for the first time; seeing them again that day was everything she could ask.

She continued to flip page after page, following sometimes the rhythm of the slow songs that the old stereo played, stopping sometimes to better look at those pictures that caught her eye, mostly the ones where there was a little Simon. She looked away for more than a second after at least half an hour when she felt her shirt being pulled from underneath, resting her gaze on that little head full of raven hair that emerged from the small shelter she had made with what was one of Simon's haori "Not hungry anymore?" she passed her finger on her round cheeks, taking her wail as an answer and moving her away from her chest. She made her daughter comfortable on her lap and brought back the photo album to her "You've become so much bigger, I don't know where to put you anymore" she chuckled touching the baby's nose as she tried to mutter "here", patting her mother's knees "Look, in this photo daddy was around your age, he was such a handsome boy was he?" she knew that her daughter was understanding, but just couldn't answer properly, so she just kept talking to her, telling her some stories that her aunt told her about her dad when he was little. At some point, her daughter stole the album from her hands to see the pictures in herself; she took the opportunity to rearrange her clothes, checking how the skin of her lower abdomen was doing, bad of course...

Her mind was brought back to reality when a tiny hand touched the scar on her stomach "Hm? What? You got out of there you know" she tickled that tiny hand with her fingers, sitting back next to her when she tried to run from the tease. She combed her hair with her hand, each time with more and more pressure until the little one fell again with her head on her lap "Today you were bad at mom's work, anything to say in your defense?" but all the baby could do was yawning and try to move her hand away from her head, something that made the older woman smile, leaving her daughter alone to let her rest.

The newfound peace was once again disturbed when a certain noisy hawk entered the door "I'm home" that serious voice preceded the sound of Simon's footsteps headed for the living room

"Yeah, could've guessed that" she laughed quietly, pulling her head back against the couch to look at him

"How are you feeling?" he reached down to kiss her forehead before giving attention to her lips too.

She captured his neck with her arms before he could walk away "Beside the constant stomach cramps and some dizziness, I'm healthy as a fish" she smiled, taking some of his hair in her hands and giving small kisses around his lips

"If you put on your IV once in a while, maybe you’d feel even better" he scolded her sighing, trying to detach her arms from around his neck

"If I have to stay with her, I prefer not to put it" she placed a hand on her daughter's head, keeping her eyes on his "And besides, it's cumbersome and useless at this point" she titled her head, looking away from him, feeling on her skin the cold and serious look he was giving her

"Don't even say it as a joke" he sighed, freeing himself from her arm before walking away.

She remained silent, looking at the cloudy sky of that evening for some seconds before slowly sliding away from under the sleeping form of her daughter "Not joking" she whispered to herself before reaching, staggering a little, her husband "Aura came to check on us this afternoon and brought me some albums with photos of when you two were younger" she smiled softly, helping him to take off his coat and jacket, placing them on the table chair. The only answer she received from him was his embarrassed face and his tries to hide it in all its redness "Don't worry, your daughter too agrees on the fact that you were handsome even when you were the one wearing the diaper" she placed her hands on his tie, bursting out laughing as their eyes met "Don't give me that look! You were such an handsome baby! Your eyes were as sharp as now and I love that" she kissed the tip of his nose as she removed his tie from his neck

"If those albums fall in my hands, they're gone. I'm telling you" he huffed, unbuttoning the first buttons of his shirt to let that feeling of warmth in his face dissipate

"Don't you dare! I want to do a whole family photo album, so I need those too" she hugged again his neck, hanging with a little extra weight when her legs suddenly gave up "So when she grows up, she'll have some physical memories too" she said, pointing to the sofa with her head

"These ideas only come to you" he held her on her feet, keeping her chest against his and resting his cheek on top of her head

"But you can't say they're bad" she giggled, slipping a hand into his shirt and unbuttoning another of its buttons

"You want to undress me?" he stared her hand, passing a pair of fingers on it.

She smiled foolishly, rubbing her face on his chest to hide the warmness that she felt before she, too, began to stare at her own hand "It wouldn't be a bad show" she tightened the grip that she had on his neck, making him lower again a little towards her

"You're acting like you've never seen me naked" he sighed, smiling softly to her dumbness before hitting her forehead with his fingers.

She looked at him badly, making an offended face before hiding in the folds of his shirts. She pushed his neck further towards her until he had to step forward to avoid falling, ending up dragging him to the center of the living room "Do you remember when we used to dance here? When you came back to work at a decent time?"

"When you dragged me against my will to try clumsy steps with background music you would say; I remember that"

"That's the same thing for my ears" she punched him and just stayed where she was, breathing slowly to calm the pain she was feeling in her stomach. She looked up again when she felt his arms tighten around her, intent on moving her slowly in a rocking movement

"Can you move or does it hurts too much?" he took the hand that was on his neck in his, keeping the other on her lower back.

She laughed quietly, squeezing his hand and standing well "First you say that you don't like dancing-"

"Let's do it while you can" he smiled and moved her, following the music that kept going from before

"Such a tsundere" she came even closer to him, keeping his hand tightly in hers.

"If I had known that having a typical Japanese wedding would have led to having to wear ten layers of kimono, I probably would have said no when you asked" she fixed her obi one more time, checking if her hair was in place

"But you indeed looked good all in white" he helped her tighten the obi, keeping staring at her "Even if you still have that old and overused thing that ruins your dr-"

"You on the other hand, haven't changed your pallette even today" she cut him nonchalantly and looked at him, fixing his haori, touching with her fingers the two tiny crests of his family embroidered on it

"That's a fundamental trait of my character" he took her by the arm and walked where the guests were

"Then the fact that you got your hair done today is totally out of your character" she played with the braid full of flowers that fell on his back, sticking to his arm "But it suits you a lot" she smiled satisfied when she saw red tips building in his cheeks

"Maybe, but all these flowers make it too fancy for my liking" he tried to sidetrack the conversation, looking away from hers so as not to let her enjoy his shyness.

She stopped insisting, keeping tight his hand in hers as they walked again where all the others were "Well, I must say that if I have to find one positive thing in all of this, seeing Aura in a kimono is probably the best thing I could ever ask in my life" she whispered to him when her eyes met the almost completely drunk figure of Aura dressed in a colorful kimono

"Yeah, sorry for that" Simon sighed and covered his eyes with his hand

"Come on! She's trying to avoid thinking that her beloved little brother is leaving her for another woman" she nudged him and looked at him with an annoying smirk

"Don't make it worse please" he walked with her out on the balcony, looking at the sky before whistling and pull out an arm, waiting for a pair of delicate claws to clasp his wrist "You're the only that understand me" he scratched Taka's neck, smiling softly when the smaller hand of his wife tried to pet him too "You're too short"

"No! You're the one who's too tall! And you might as well put your arm down you know!" she tried to pull it down, failing miserably

"Maybe it's finally time to change that thing around your neck" he noticed, pointing to the necklace that, even today, she kept wearing "Na-ah, I will only change it when it becomes dust on my hands" she used his moment of distraction to pat too Taka's soft feathers, watching again that simple-looking but full of meaning ring on her finger.

Still today, after nearly two full years, that ring continued to adorn her finger; she hid more and more in his shirt until she placed her ear precisely over his heart, listening carefully to each of its beats

"You okay?" he passed a hand on her face, bringing his face close to her to place a brief kiss on her head

"What was the name of the colored coat I wore for our wedding?" she tried to remember all the times Simon told her, but couldn't remember

"Uchikake" he said it slowly, so that she could understand it "Why you ask?"

"I was thinking that it was really beautiful. I should still have it somewhere in the closet" she closed her eyes, hoping that thinking about those memories, would send her back and live them again

"If you want, one day we could dress as we were that day, just to relive the emotion" he some of her hair locks, playing with them

"One day?" she slowly looked up at him, but it only quickened the climb of her tears to the eyes "You know, if I hadn’t tried to get closer to you after those seven years, when you got out of prison, we probably wouldn’t be here at this point; if I had been away I would have avoided that you suffered again" she squeezed his shirt in her hand, sighing loudly to mask the returning feeling of tears. Last year was the first and last time she cried for herself, knowing she had no right to be sad when she knew she was leaving Simon all alone, again.

"If you hadn’t come back, I would have come, I wouldn’t have left you so easily" he hit her head and placed his palm on her eyes, pushing her head downwards "If you hadn’t come back to catching me, yeah, we probably wouldn’t be here right now, but now there wouldn’t even be that evil thing" he took off his hand from her face to let her see where he was pointing

"Can you please stop calling her a thing?!" she took his hands off her, backing away and wiping the wetness around her eyes with her arm

"You're the only one who takes it so badly" he remained near her, seeing her legs more unstable than normal

"You know, for your information, your daughter is a person too" she gave him a killer look, ready to throw anything at him

"In my eyes, as of now, she's a round being who does nothing but eat, sleep and cry all day" he smiled at his own words as he strived to remain serious as he spoke "And other things that are not very nice anyway" he dodged the bottle she threw at him, trying to catch it before it fell; trying.

The sound of the plastic that crashed on the ground was followed shortly after by some incomprehensible complaints "It's your fault, just so you know" he stopped her and threw her like a sack on a chair before going towards the couch and search that little being that who could make such loud sounds "Are we done here?" he took her from the legs, tickling her to not let her cry too much

"Come here, hurry" she waited already with her arms wide open "Have you heard what this evil bichrome man said? Mh? What is daddy saying about you?" she took her in her arms and hid her in her neck cavity "Can you stop saying these things?" she pouted at him while calming the baby

"These are just pieces of evidence of my incapacity as a father" he sighed and looked back at her, keeping his impassive face

"Oh really? In my eyes these actions only show that you're good at this, you know how to joke with her" she gave him a proud smile to let him understand she was sincere

"And you see this as a posit-"

"Look! The more I look at her the more I realize that she might not have taken anything from my genes" she interrupted his words, standing up in front of him and showing the baby's face to him "Her eyes are exactly like yours; sharp, grey and absolutely beautiful; her hair is black, but she has some shades of Aura's purple in it and being pale is a family thing, I guess" she tilted her head to see Simon's face as she talked, smiling softly at him

"Maybe she’ll have something of yours growing, something about your personality or she'll change her features during growth" he poked the round cheeks he had in front of him

"I hope for you both no, you want another liar in your family?" she laughed confused, passing a hand on his shoulder.

He didn't answer but just sighed, taking her arm and moving onto the couch "You're not on your feet anymore, come and sit" he sat her comfortably on him and hugged her tightly, hiding his nose in her locks, now much shorter than last year but still welcoming.

She quietly beat her foot to the beat of the music, looking around the large hall full of people, looking for familiar faces

"Why you're here all alone? You could at least sit somewhere" the familiar raven-haired boy approached her with a simple glass of something in his hands

"I'm still new here, so I'd rather stay alone for now" she smiled turning towards the young prosecutor "What about you? You're not with your sister?" she looked around her to see that extravagant hairstyle that she always has

"She's talking to Cykes-dono, so I left them alone" he slowly sipped his drink "You want to take something to drink too?" he pointed with his glass towards the table full of every kind of drinks

"I'll pass, for now I would like to stay sober” she sharpened her ears to the music, finally hearing something danceable

“Instead, would you like to dance?” she came closer to him and grabbed his jacket

“No? I don’t know how to dance at all” he laughed uncomfortably, trying to stop her hand from dragging him

“Me neither, we just go there and have some fun” she poked him with her shoulder to convince him

“Pleeease” she took his glass from his hands and hid it behind her back

“Just this one” she didn’t even wait for his answer before dragging him towards the empty space in the middle of the hall, placing his glass on the first table in her way, letting some hair get in front of her face to hide her blush before turning to him again, smiling softly.

The face he held for all the time they danced brought a smile and a quiet giggle to the woman’s mouth

“What are you laughing about?” Simon, took her hair away from her face, looking down at her

“Nothing nothing, I was just rethinking of some memories, and I remembered the first time we danced together; do you remember?” she placed her head on his shoulder, trying to keep her look upwards

“That time when you nearly fell on your own feet to keep me dancing? Yeah, I remember” he laughed too to the memory, moving his hand under her chin to keep her face

“Remember me more, anything it comes to your mind”

“But you already know my whole life by heart, you were there for the most” her eyes closed for some seconds, letting her relax in his hold

“…Who’s gonna tell me, then?” his fingers closed more around her face, looking at every single of her features with the saddest eyes he ever had in his life

She forced her eyes to open again to look at him, hugging his wrist with her slim, white and freezing fingers, a touch that gave him all the comfort he needed

“Hurry up or the stars will fall without you” she huffed, trying not to raise her voice too much

“Sorry sorry” Simon huffed too, climbing the last steps of the staircase to the outdoor terrace

“The sky is pure black tonight” she was already looking through her telescope, searching for even one shooting star

“Nothing?” he stretched his body and rubbed his eyes, ready to fall asleep at any moment

“Not yet” she checked her clock, before quickly returning to look at the sky

“If my calculations are right, ten minutes maximum and the first ones should start to appear”

“Repeat again why these stars are so interesting?” he shook his head from exhaustion and leaned his back against the wall

“Because! Today they should be of many different colors instead of always white!” she hit him, falsely offended by his disinterest, pointing towards the sky once again out of nowhere.

Her memory listed all the constellations she could recognize from what little she saw

“See? You’re good at remembering all the laws, the details of a case, the lessons of Dr. Cykes, and I’m good at remembering the constellations” she laughed at herself before looking at him, catching right behind him a reddish shooting star

“THERE!” her voice came out before she could control the volume, covering her mouth with both hands right after that

“There’s another and another one there” Simon tried not to laugh at her unwanted scream and just looked at the stars that fell in front of his eyes

“What do people say about shooting stars?” his back pulled away from the wall and approached her, tilting his head

“It’s said that a wish you express under a shooting star comes true and other things that date back to the era of Christ and-“

His hand took hers, stopping her words while he still looked at the now colorful sky

“How likely is the wish to come true?”

“I-It’s just a stupid belief, don’t tell me you believe it please” she shook her head and looked too at the sky

“Let’s see right now if I’ll start to believe in it” he pulled her towards him from the hands, waiting for her to turn her head his way before approaching her lips with his, giving her some seconds to pull away but finalizing his intention when she did not move, savoring every little feeling the sensation of her soft lips on his gave him.

As soon as the connection broke, he turned his face sideways to hide the tremendous blush on all his face

“Maybe I could give the stars a try for my next trials”.

“Of all the things, that’s what you had to remember?” he giggled slowly, rubbing his blushed cheek against the crown of her head

“That was probably the cutest thing you ever did” she touched his uncovered cheek, warming her hand thanks to Simon’s warmth

“Most embarrassing, you meant” he cocked a smile when he felt her elbow hit, try to hit, his ribs

“You don’t even realize how romantic you can be” she raised her hand and showed him the silver around her ring finger

“I think you don’t remember well enough”

“Just some more steps, trust me and don’t open your eyes”

“Not that I have a choice by now” she kept her hand on Simon’s to better understand where he was leading her.

All she could feel was the damp grass under her feet, the sweet spring breeze against her ankles, uncovered by the thin fabric of her yukata.

She could hear the distant beating of Taka’s wings as he flew around them; if she tried to open her eyes, they were greeted by the black of Simon’s palms.

All she could do was following his footsteps behind her.

“Ok, when you want to, you can open your eyes” he slowly took his hands off her face in case she had already opened them.

She peeked from one eye to see where they were before looking better with both of her eyes.

In front of her was probably the tallest cherry tree she has ever seen, full of tiny, pink flowers both on the branches and between the thin blades of grass that took a more orange hue thanks to the light of the sunset; nestled between two external roots was a colorful cloth that prevented a basket from being in contact with the wet of the grass.

She turned towards him with a surprised smile, placing her hands against his arms to hold on to something as she came near his face with hers

“Thank you, this is sweet” she murmured against his cheek, sliding her hand all the way from his arm to his nape to hug him.

He hugged her back for a few seconds, before using his arms around her to pick her up and carry her where they were awaited; he knew perfectly that they weren’t going to move anywhere soon if he waited for her to move first.

He could feel her mouth against his skin, kissing it softly, curving in excited and grateful smiles, brushing against the skin under his ear.

He almost threw her to the ground when they arrived, quickly passing his hand wherever he could still feel her passage as if it annoyed him before sitting next to her, huffing.

“So? You have something important to tell me?” she pressed her arm against his, looking at his impassible face as he took something out of the basket, offering it to her

“I may have brought you here just to see the cherry blossoms” he shrugged her off his arm, looking at her to enjoy both her pout and the contrasting happy eyes as she ate what he gave her

“As if I don’t know you, Blackquill” she tried to mimic his face, failing in seriousness because of her full mouth

“Don’t, call me that” he hit her elbow to make her food fall, sighing quietly as she tried to pick it up.

They just remained there, enjoying their presence in that ordinary silence that spoke more of hundreds of words.

Simon was never good with socializing, vocalizing his emotions; the only time he considered himself good with words was when he’s working, in a courtroom or an interrogation room.

She had to get used to his being, trying to help him improve, but when his emotions were too strong, he just closes himself.

He closes all the doors to his heart locked, with chains and locks by any external intruder –an art he learned and mastered in not even seven years of his life- .

“Am I pregnant and I still don’t know about it?” she tilted his head, approaching her face to his with a confused look that covered her true one, worried, as she tried to throw down those doors even now.

He nearly choked on his food at her words, looking even more confused than her

“How do I know if you don’t even know first?”

“Then do you want to tell me what’s wrong? At least before the sun goes down?” she gently brushed her finger against his nose, smiling at him to try to make him laugh

“Nothing serious, really. I-I just need to understand how to phrase it” he took her wrist and slowly moved her hand from his face

“Sooo, it is serious if it’s giving you problems” she giggled as she took something else from the basket

“Do you think Taka will enjoy something too?” she stood up and walked into a much-opened space, looking at the sky to see where Taka was

“Wait-” he tried to stop her before she stood, still managing to make her turn by calling her

“What? I took a piece of meat without too much flavoring; he can eat this” she warned before he could start with his usual lecture

“No, that’s not it” he sat up straighter, placing his hand on his knee as if to get up.

In his mind hundreds and hundreds of thought ran back and forth, his brain was trying his best not to melt, until he fell back, letting her call Taka

“Be careful when he catches your arm” he rested his back against the tree, gripping tightly his sleeve to relieve tension, to prepare himself

“Don’t pierce my arm pleease” as soon as Taka rested on her arm, she patted his head before giving him the piece of meat she took earlier

“Hey prosecutor man, when were you going to show me this new bandana?” her fingers touched the soft material of it, passing one of them slowly into the space between the feathery neck and the fabric

“You’re even more handsome than before; this color suits you” she scratched his feathers, giggling softly as he brushed his face against her hand.

She already started to walk back towards Simon when she noticed something dangling from Taka’s bandana

“You also gave him a pendant? Can I see it?” she shifted her eyes from Simon to Taka as she asked one question, then the other, taking the little box-like pendant tied to Taka’s bandana between her fingers.

She focused to untie the knot that probably Simon did, then moving the hawk on her shoulder to better observe it

“Don’t worry, I’ll give it right back” she gently hit his beak with her nail to have his attention

“What is it, Simon? Can I open it?” she opened the second after she asked, not even waiting for an answer that probably would never have arrived.

It was simple, shiny like a freshly cleaned panel of glass. On the surface, a lot of details framed a tiny, clear gem placed in opposition to the engraving of Simon’s family crest that he always wore, one way or another.

She reluctantly lifted her eyes from the ring, scared that it would disappear in front of her, to look at Simon who was still sitting on the ground, but had looked up to offer her one of those barely hinted smiles that were full of all kinds of emotions, those unconstrained smiles that she loved so much seeing.

“So?” her voice cracked, slipping out of her control, having the need to understand what he meant with this gesture

“ “So?” What? As if I gift you these things daily” he used all his energy to hide how much he was enjoying her expressions

She threw herself on him, pressing on purpose her knee against his stomach

“Instead of killing me, can I speak?” he tried to laugh with the limited air that she left him

“Will you marry me? Will you tolerate me as long as your lungs take air?” he spoke against her hair, taking the box from her hand, gently spreading her fingers to take it

“I’ve been tolerating you for years now” she composed herself before looking up, smiling when she felt his hand take hers

“Yes- Yes, I’ll gladly do that” she tried not to cry openly as the metal slowly brushed against the skin of her ring finger

“I hope you realize the trouble you’re getting yourself into” he tapped his shoulder, gesturing Taka to climb it, to involve him

“You should have warned me a decade ago” she squinted and gripped Simon’s hand as strong as possible, letting the tears that were hidden in her eyes fall

“You have a point, but if I did I wouldn't have had any benefit out of it” he hugged her head with his chin, pushing it towards his chest.

His rough thumb slowly stroked her now decorated hand; she emitted heat from every pore, the adrenaline still ran in her body and that made her hand a bit sweaty, but warm to the right.

They were in the same positions now; his chin on her head, her hand wrapped in his fingers, Taka on the couch’s backrest.

The feelings were what changed; her hand, ice, her breath, slow and irregular, his cheek, cold from the now dried tears, both their hearts, heavy and facing everything but reality.

Only her lap remained warm, short raven hair spread all over it and tiny hands that tried to grab the two adults’ shirts to sit up.

“You two should go to sleep now, we can continue tomorrow, maybe before I go to work” he forced his lips to form a smile as he looked at her, noting her eyes full of exhaustion

“I could sleep for a while, yes” she got off him, clinging to his shoulders to make up for her lack of strength “And you could change your clothes, I feel uncomfortable just by looking at you” she looked at him, not even trying to hide her smile

“Easy to talk with Simon’s shirt on huh?” he took the hand-sized girl out of the two in his arms before forcing the oldest on his shoulder, bringing both of them to their bedroom

“It certainly is more comfortable than your work shirts” she tapped her hand against his back, trying to free herself, and she was indeed satisfied when he dropped her like a sack of potatoes on the mattress “Do you always treat corpses like this?” she rolled until her face smeared on Simon’s pillow

“Most of the time even worse than this” he used his daughter’s hand to hit her head, pushing it towards the pillow by making the little one lay on it

“Not breathing-“ she tried to grab her daughter to move her before freeing her face, making the baby laugh with her annoyed snort

“You’re just like your father,-”

“If you’re a corpse, you’re not supposed to breath” he looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he was already undressing

“Then just the time you change and I’m back to being one” her eyes locked with his and she smiled, looking down at her baby who imitated her position, now both looking at Simon

“See how beautiful your dad is?” she whispered so as not to be heard by Simon, tickling the baby’s neck to make her giggle

“I feel observed” he smiled to himself as he slowly chose what to wear

“Oh well sorry you very edgy, shy, handsome, young man” she kept staring at him some more before turning to give him some privacy.

She started tickling her daughter again, taking from her nightstand the stuffed hawk they kept there for when they made her sleep with them

“Is this better than the real one?” she poked her cheeks with the toy’s beak, smiling when her tiny hands hugged the soft replica

“The real one is there, looking rather offended in my opinion” Simon pointed the branch near the bed even if neither of the two were looking at him

“I would give him some attention if I were you”

“He’s just like you, too. I’m surrounded” she tried to imitate Simon’s whistle to call Taka to her, placing her hand on the headboard to indicate him where to lean

“When you’ll learn not to hit her, she can play with you too” she scratched his neck, passing her fingers between his feathers, then to the ones around her neck.

She searched for the hook of the necklace to take it off, combing the ruined feathers with her nails

“It is finally time to throw it away?” he joined her on the soft bed, brushing his nose against her nape before searching a point that made her shiver where to press his lips on

“Never, ever. When I can no longer express my opinion, you can do whatever you want with it” she shivered as she felt his lips against her skin, trying to get away from him

“What do you want me to do with it?” he continued to cover her skin with butterfly kisses, catching her thigh to not let her run away

“I would like to keep it, but it would be a waste; you could give it to her when she grows up or yes, you can throw it too” she put her fingers between his hair, messing it up as also her lower body shivered

“I’ll think about it” he touched the feathers too, noticing how they were ruined

“Can I at least change these? Taka is losing a lot of feathers recently”

“If they ruin badly, I shall allow it” she touched her nose and tried to turn to face him.

“Shouldn’t she sleep?” he picked their daughter in his arms before sitting up to give her space to get comfortable

“She slept before you came back, I don’t know if she will now” she yawned and found a comfortable place on Simon’s lap, resting her head on his shoulder

“But I probably will. Tomorrow a new engineer comes to help us with the next probe at the center” she forced her eyes to remain open, taking in the sight of Simon trying to make the little one sleep, slowly rocking her

“You should stay home. You’re getting worse and you should rest” he took her hair off her face with his free hand, getting the evidence he needed to confirm what he was saying: the eye bags under her eyes were darker every day more, her skin was almost as pale as his, her hairline was constantly covered with a thin layer of sweat and against his skin, hers was cold, dry, dead.

She looked and felt like she was already a corpse, a corpse he never had wanted to see.

“At this point is useless to rest, this last period is worth spending it doing something rather than staying at home, on the couch, filling myself with medicines” she tried her best to keep her head straight, fighting against pain, unusual sleepiness, physical fatigue.

“Would you- please, stay awake as long as you can” he put his hand under her chin to lift her face towards his, kissing her forehead.

This sweet gesture made her smile again, hugging his cheek with her palm softly

“I’ll try” she moved his bangs from his eyes “Pardon me” she took his ponytail, searching his hair tie and freeing his hair from it

“What are you doing” he sighed, suffering what she was doing anyway as their daughter slowly fell asleep

“Fixing your bangs. You should cut them, your eyes are covered and it is really a crime” she collected the hair on his forehead, tieing it in a really small ponytail, holding back her laughter at the result

“I don’t even want to see myself” he sighed harder, focusing only on loaf in his arms

“Why! Your eyes are visible like this!”

“If you care so much you can cut it for me, I don’t know how to do it” he took her face and pushed her off him, again on the mattress “In law classes, they don’t teach you how to be a hairstyler, too” he untangled some knots from his now-free hair, taking off the tie from his bangs, styling it so that it did not cover his eyes

“Neither in space engineering” she hugged her pillow and closed her eyes, feeling them as dry as a desert

“Hey,” he lowered once again near her, carefully laying the fully asleep baby between them

“Do you want to sleep?” he passed a hand on her hair, taking away the locks that kept falling from her head

“That wouldn’t hurt you know” she looked at him, keeping her eyes closed for more seconds when she blinked

“If I fall asleep, please, don’t wake me up, we’ll see tomorrow, ok?” she smiled once again, extending a hand towards his face and placing it on his cheek

“Remember me to bring back to Aura the albums she brought me today” she nodded as if she was listening to herself, but slowly her brain started to turn off

“Yes, after work I’ll come to pick you up and we can go together” he was convinced in what he was saying, but something gripped tightly his chest

“I’ll wait for you then” whatever she was saying now, was nearly an incomprehensible murmur, her eyes were closed and her hand fell on their daughter’s head.

He remained there, all he could do was staring at her, her chest that slowly rose and fell, her face that showed peace, but under it lied everything she truly felt: anger, sadness, guilt and fear.

She was tired of those feelings, all that she wanted was to enjoy the little time she knew she had left with her family.

Even if she didn’t saw him at the moment, she could imagine Simon’s face, what he was feeling, too.

She didn’t want to ruin his life like this.

He already suffered in his life and this, leaving him alone out of nowhere with a child to raise all by himself when he was the one against the idea of children. What convinced him to even try in the first place was the assurance that he wouldn’t be alone in properly raising a child, she promised it to him. But now?

“Simon” she shook his arm to be sure he was listening to her, not sure of how her voice sounded

“I’m here” he took her hand to let her know he was listening, moving closer to her

“.I’..m sorry” she tried to re-open her eyes again to sound more sincere in her apology “You know that… I love you” she forced herself to sound as clear as she could, squinting and trying to open her eyes

“Don’t force yourself by saying stupid things. You have nothing to be sorry about and-“

“Saying that I love you is a stupid thing?” she looked at him confused and with tears all over her eye

He passed his thumbs on her cheeks to wipe those tears, stopping for a second to look her in the eyes

“Of course not. You did everything for me and I still don’t know how to thank you properly. You helped me when I came back, you tolerated me all these years and also officially linked yourself to the mess that I am and- and you gifted me this, you gave me a reason to keep moving forward” he passed his thumb on her rings before resting both their hands, still connected, on their daughter’s belly.

Her eyes closed again but she was listening to every single word, every single crack or tremor of his voice, the sound of his breath becoming irregular. The words she wanted to speak died in her throat and all she managed to do successfully was smiling, offering him a smile that could maybe comfort him, that could give voice to the apologies she wanted to scream, to the regret and sadness that were eating her from the inside.

“Now sleep, you deserve some rest. You’re strong, don’t forget it” he covered her eyes with his palm and gently pressed his lips against hers, smiling softly when he felt her attempt to answer to his kiss, pushing her lower face against his “And I love you too, you can’t even imagine how much. I’ll never stop doing it, remember it.” He reluctantly took his hand off her face, noticing even more tears on it, trying to wipe them again with his trembling fingers.

He knew what was happening, but at the same time, he didn’t know, didn’t want to know.

His eyes searched comfort looking up, where Taka still was on the headboard; him too, was asleep. Loneliness, this feeling Simon knows too well and that he knows it will come to visit him more often from now on. His eyes closed and before he knew it, he fell asleep too; both his hands were against a cold feeling that, as he lost more and more consciousness, started to feel warm again.

- Same time, same sound every single morning. He could already hear giggles and fire sounds from the kitchen, so he just sat to slam his palm against the alarm to shut it off.

It didn’t.

Even if his palm was still on it, the alarm continued to ring. He had to shook his head to be back, the newfound feeling of warmth in his chest kicked away by the sudden cold. He stood and walked to the door, opening it and seeing only the first lights of the morning light up the way to the kitchen, hearing anything but silence. He looked back confused and that’s when he remembered; he remembered that his wife was dying, but just now realized that what yesterday was future, now is present.

She laid there, in her side of the bed; her whole body but the face covered with simple blankets, her facial features molded with peace, calm, relief. Everything was framed by her hair and covered with the reddish lights of the sunrise that highlighted details that only confirmed her departed state: her lips were now tinted with a slight violet, her eyes were slightly opened and the little that was visible was completely dull, not a single muscle was tense and her skin took a greenish tone.

He forced himself to confirm what he was seeing, gently caressing her cheeks, jawline and lastly her neck, searching for anything else than a block of pure ice.

Useless.

The sun outside seemed to know what was happening: the sun, now full of light and free of any cover slowly continued to rise, probably not noticing the expanse of clouds that awaited him to hide him, keep him away from the world.

Before she could wake up, he brought the unaware raven head away from there; even if she probably couldn’t understand, she didn’t deserve to even look at her mother’s dead body. He was still trying to understand, to process everything, but his brain did all it could to reject everything that was happening, to deny it; that’s probably why, when he returned to their shared room, he felt a punch right in the gut seeing Taka that tried to wake her up, beating his head against hers.

She didn’t move a single inch when he was out and Taka’s usual tease to wake her up wasn’t working.

“Taka” a concise movement of his chin made the hawk understand to leave her alone, taking his place beside her, fearful of touching her again and perceive again the feeling of touching a grave, touching death. “We need to give the albums back to Aura and- today the engineer at the center” he tried to catch her attention, shaking her face with a little too much vigor, but nothing seemed to move her “Or, you still have to remind me of our first date, of when our daughter was-“ the end of the phrase died as his fist instinctively met the wall nearby, as one single tear accidentally fell from his eye.

His feet moved on their own and made him walk out of there, out of where he was already promising himself to remain. He rested his back against the wall, slamming his head against it too to stop any strong emotion to take control of his body.

His fingers moved his bangs from his eyes to fully understands if he was still sleeping; unluckily not.

His thighs rested flat against the floor, his back slowly sliding down to accompany them and before he could punch the wall down, he focused on the heavy pocket of his pants, pulling out of it the necklace she entrusted to him. Looking at it now, it looked newer than it actually was; yesterday the feathers looked old and ruined, but now he saw them as fresh and immaculate.

He laughed to himself and brought the cheap pendant to his lips, finally understanding what she saw in something he made only for her, brushing once again the feathers of it.

---

A short message for you all ;v;

[rosaguard]

❀ . ━  ❛ FINAL FANTASY VII TERMS & LORE.

this is a lore dump created to help mutuals who aren’t familiar with the lore of ffvii should they wish to interact. this post will only cover information from the original game / OG ( ex. information that did not originate from the OG such as the arbiters of fate in the remake or deepground in dirge of cerberus is not going to be covered in this post ). 

final fantasy vii is, on average, a 40 hour game with an entire compilation built around it that consists of prequels, a sequel movie, novels, a remake and more that build on ( and sometimes retcon ) parts of the original game. i cannot cover everything and thus this posts serves to be a stepping stone to help understand the basic gist of the lore before doing your own further research if you desire to. obvious spoilers will be present so read at your own discretion.

● AVALANCHE : an eco-terrorist organization that opposes shinra due to them slowly draining life from the planet. the organization has multiple cells ( or factions ) within and outside midgar with barret’s group being somewhat shunned due to their methods of bombing mako reactors being considered too extreme.

● CETRA : also known as the ‘ancients’. a migrant race that worships the planet, have the ability to speak with it directly, cast magic naturally, and can manipulate the lifestream’s energy. the ancient civilization was nearly wiped out by jenova thousands of years prior to the events of the game and canonically, aeris gainsborough is the last living ancient until her death.

● GAEA : a living organism and the planet that the story of ffvii takes place on. when injured, the planet is capable of healing itself with the lifestream and on rare occasions, it can be ‘heard’ by non-cetras when in extreme pain or distress. gaea is generally referred to as only ‘the planet’ by characters in-game ( *gaia’s used in the compilation but it’s never used in the original game - nor is the planet given a ‘name’ in general. i’m choosing to use ‘gaea’ because of a location in the northern crater that has the name, i like the way it sounds, and i can do what i want:tm: ).

● LIFESTREAM : the river of life that flows within the depths of gaea. the lifestream is both the planet’s consciousness and source of all life on the planet. all things are born from the lifestream and all things return to it to be born anew. the lifestream contains the knowledge, memories, and emotions of every life that returns to it after death. in my blog canon, aeris merges with the planet’s consciousness and becomes the personification of the planet / lifestream itself.

● PROMISED LAND : a fabled land in cetra legends believed to be a place of ‘supreme happiness’ that the cetra would find at the end of their journeys. shinra, believing it to be a place abundant in mako, desire it for an endless supply of energy. it’s speculated that the promised land isn’t a literal ‘place’ but the event of rejoining the lifestream once a life comes to an end.

● HUMANS : currently the most prominent race in gaea. humans were cetra that lost the ability to commune with the planet and use magic naturally when they abandoned their duties to cultivate life and traded their nomadic lifestyle for leisure and convenience. while the cetra civilization was decimated by jenova, humans were able to survive in greater numbers by hiding until the alien was locked away.

● JENOVA : otherwise known as the ‘calamity of the skies’ by the cetra. it is a creature of unknown origin that crashed onto northern gaea around thousand years ago via a meteorite. the crash inflicted so great a wound to the planet’s surface that the cetra to migrated north to heal the injury where the ‘calamity’, disguising itself as one of the cetra, would emerge and infect them. the cetra fell into ruin as they turned into monsters or died by their own kind’s hands before a few survivors were able to eventually seal the creature away.

● JENOVA PROJECT : thirty years prior to the start of the game, a team of shinra scientists discover the remains of the creature that fell from the skies thousands of years prior. mistaking the creature as a cetra, it would be named ‘jenova’ by professor gast and shinra would green light multiple projects in an attempt to produce a human-cetra hybrid - the most ‘successful’ being project s.

● PROJECT S :  professor hojo and lucrecia crescent, two scientists on the jenova project, agree to use their own child as the subject of the project. the fetus is injected jenova’s cells while in the womb and although the speciman, sephiroth, couldn’t commune with the planet, he displayed impressive abilities greater than any natural soldier. the data and research of project s would lead to the development and creation of SOLIDER.

● SOLDIER : an elite group of super soldiers ranked by three classes - first class being the highest. although it is known to the general public that they are infused with mako to get their heightened strength, candidates that approved to be in SOLDIER are unknowingly injected with not only mako but jenova cells as well.

● MAKO : the liquid form of the lifestream. although mako can erupt from the group naturally, it is most often forcibly extracted from the planet for use by the shinra electric power company. due to shinra monopolizing mako energy and spreading mako reactors globally over the past forty years, mako is the main electric power source across the planet until post-meteorfall.

● MAKO POISONING : the state one enters into when exposed to a high concentration of mako for too long. since mako is essentially the lifestream, those who experience mako poisoning and survive are often left in a comatose state due to being overwhelmed by the sheer memories and thoughts that the lifestream contains.

● MAKO REACTORS : machines built to extract mako. areas near reactors tend to be devoid of life and barren as a result of the reactors slowly draining the lifestream from the area. outside of the city of midgar itself, mako reactors are typically built in remote, backwater towns.

● MATERIA : crystalized mako. as the lifestream contains the memory of all things, materia is embed with the memories and wisdom of the ancients, natural magic users, which allows the user to cast different types of spells when equipped.

● THE BLACK MATERIA : a materia used to summon meteor, the ultimate destructive magic. due its danger, it’s locked away by the cetra in the temple of the ancients before eventually falling into sephiroth’s hands during the events of the game. the black materia is used by sephiroth to summon meteor in order to ‘injure’ the planet and absorb the energy of the lifestream once it tries to heal the wound.

● THE WHITE MATERIA : the black materia’s counterpart. the white materia summons holy, the ultimate white magic, that can cleanse the planet during a crisis and ensure the continuation of life - even if it means the destruction of humanity in the process. initially unaware of its importance, aeris treats the white materia as a keepsake from her mother and wears it tucked inside of her pink ribbon throughout the events of the game.

● MIDGAR : known as ‘the city of mako’, midgar is the capitol of shinra’s operations. the actual ‘city’ of midgar consists of giant plates that are divided into eight sectors which each being powered by their own mako reactor. the circular plate that makes up the city midgar sits on creates a literal divide between those who live in comfort in the city above and the poorer residents in the slums below. although the city has its own mayor, president shinra is considered to be the true power behind any decisions made in midgar.

● NEO MIDGAR : the new city president shinra hopes to build in the fabled promised land that will be powered by the endless supply of mako there. shinra uses propaganda and the promise of building a utopia to lure the general populace into supporting their cause.

● THE SLUMS : the home of those who live under the ‘rotten pizza’ known as the plate. originally eight separate towns, they each lost their individual names after shinra began the construction of midgar on top of them. each area of the slums is now just referred to as whatever sector of midgar it sits underneath, ex. sector seven vs the sector seven slums. crime and monsters are equal dangers within the slums and citizens are left to fend for themselves regarding both.

● NIBELHEIM INCIDENT : after what was supposed to be a routine check of a mako reactor in nibelheim, sephiroth discovers documents regarding project s and the origins of his birth in an abandoned shinra mansion within the town. believing that he’s the last cetra and that his birth mother is ‘jenova’, sephiroth experiences a mental breakdown that’s followed by him setting the town of nibelheim ablaze and murdering a majority of its residents as they try to escape. the incident ends with sephiroth being thrown into the lifestream after cloud strife tosses him directly into the mako at the bottom of nibelheim’s reactor in order to protect tifa lockhart and zack fair.

● SEPHIROTH ‘CLONES’ : the remaining survivors of the nibelheim incident that weren’t able to escape and captured by shinra to be experimented on by professor hojo. the subjects, all injected with mako and jenova cells, are either given numbers once they become mindless slaves to jenova’s will or are left to slowly die if they hold onto their sense of self. after being kept in mako tanks for nearly five years, zack is able to escape along with cloud - although the latter is left in a comatose-like state throughout their escape. 

● REUNION THEORY : a theory proposed by hojo regarding the nature of jenova cells. it’s theorized that the cells will always seek to be ‘reunited’ when separated from the main body and that they can influence the mind of any person or creature its been injected inside to achieve that. sephiroth uses this ability to influence cloud’s actions throughout the game.

● SHINRA INC. : fully known as the shinra electric power company, shinra is a mega-corporation that’s the dominant political and economic power on the planet. originally a weapons manufacturer, the company greatly expanded over the years due to their financial gains after discovering the use of mako as an energy source. many, if not all, of the problems in the game are a direct result of shinra’s actions - even if the consequences are not seen until decades later.

● WUTAI WAR : a war sparked between shinra and the nation of wutai after the latter refused to have a mako reactor built in their region. the war would last presumably close to a decade, both sides taking heavy casualties before wutai surrenders and bans the use of materia as a sign of their defeat. with wutai being the last nation to fall to shinra and sephiroth emerging as a global war hero during the war, many travel to midgar and enlist in its military in hopes of becoming a first class SOLDIER. despite their loss, wutai still plots against shinra and is an active supporter of avalanche.

[oscopelabs]

It’s Arrested Development: How ‘High Fidelity’ Has Endured Beyond Its Cultural Sell-By Date by Vikram Murthi

It’s easy to forget now that at the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic had taken hold of our consciousness, for a brief moment, High Fidelity was back. Not only did Nick Hornby’s debut novel and Stephen Frears’ film adaptation celebrate major milestones this year — 25th and 20th anniversaries, respectively — but a TV adaptation premiered on Hulu in February. In light of all of these arbitrary signposts, multiple thinkpieces and remembrances litigated Hornby’s original text on familiar, predictable grounds. Is the novel/film’s protagonist Rob actually an asshole? (Sure.) Does Hornby uphold his character’s callous attitudes towards women? (Not really.) Hasn’t the story’s gatekeeping, anti-poptimist approach to artistic taste culturally run its course? (Probably.) Why do we need to revisit this story about this person right now? (Fair question!)

Despite reasonable objections on grounds of relevancy, enough good will for the core narrative—record store owner seeks out a series of exes to determine a pattern of behavior following a devastating breakup—apparently exists to help produce a gender-flipped streaming show featuring updated musical references and starring a decidedly not-middle-aged Zoë Kravitz. I only made it through six of ten episodes in its first (and only) season, but I was surprised by how closely the show hewed to High Fidelity’s film adaptation, to the point of re-staging numerous scenes down to character blocking and swiping large swaths of dialogue wholesale. (Similarly, the film adaptation hewed quite close to the novel, with most of the dialogue ripped straight from Hornby.) Admittedly, the series features a more diverse cast than the film, centering different experiences and broadly acknowledging some criticisms of the source material regarding its ostensibly exclusionary worldview. Nevertheless, it seemed like a self-defeating move for the show to line itself so definitively with a text that many consider hopelessly problematic, especially considering the potential to repurpose its premise as a springboard for more contemporary ideas.

High Fidelity’s endurance as both a piece of IP and a flashpoint for media discourse is mildly baffling for obvious reasons. For one thing, its cultural milieu is actually dated. Even correcting for vinyl’s recent financial resurgence, the idea of snooty record store clerks passing judgment on customer preferences has more or less gone the way of the dodo. With the Internet came the democratization of access, ensuring that the cultivation of personal taste is no longer laborious or expensive, or could even be considered particularly impressive (if it ever could have been). Secondly, as one might imagine, some of Hornby’s insights into heterosexual relationships and the differences between men and women, even presented through the flawed, self-deprecating interiority of High Fidelity’s main character, are indeed reductive. Frears’ film actually strips away the vast majority of Hornby’s weaker commentary, but the novel does include such cringeworthy bits like, “What’s the deal with foreplay?” that are best left alone.

Accounting for all of that, though, it’s remarkable how many misreadings of Hornby’s text have been accepted as conventional wisdom. It’s taken as a given by many that the novel and film earnestly preach the notion that what you like is more important than what you are like when, in fact, the narrative arc is constructed around reaching the opposite conclusion. (The last lines of the novel and film are, literally, “…I start to compile in my head a compilation tape for her, something that's full of stuff she's heard of, and full of stuff she'd play. Tonight, for the first time ever, I can sort of see how it's done.”) That’s relatively minor compared to the constant refrain that Rob’s narcissism goes uncriticized, even though the story’s thematic and emotional potency derives from what the audience perceives that Rob cannot. To put it bluntly, High Fidelity’s central irony revolves around a man who listens to music for a living being unable to hear the women in his life.

While Hornby’s prose immerses the reader in Rob’s interior monologue, providing ample room for the character to spout internal justifications of his behavior, the novel hardly obscures or conceals this conclusion. Moreover, the film makes it unavoidably explicit in numerous scenes. Rob (John Cusack) triumphantly pantomimes Rocky Balboa’s boxing routine soundtracked to Queen’s “We Are The Champions” after his ex-girlfriend Laura (Iben Hjejle) confirms she hasn’t yet slept with her new boyfriend Ray (Tim Robbins), but doesn’t hear the part where she says she prefers to sleep next to him. When Laura informs Rob that she did eventually sleep with Ray, Rob completely falls apart. In an earlier, more pointed scene, Rob goes out with his ex-girlfriend from high school (Joelle Carter) to ask why she chose to have sex with an obnoxious classmate instead of him. She venomously informs him that he actually broke up with her because she was too prudish, an abrupt, cruel bit of business we actually witness at the film’s beginning. It was in her moment of heartbroken vulnerability that she agreed to quickly sleep with someone else (“It wasn’t rape because I technically said, ‘Okay,’ but it wasn’t far off,” she sneers), which ultimately put her off sex until after college. Rob doesn’t hear this explanation or the damning portrait of his teenaged self. Instead, he’s delighted to learn that he wasn’t actually dumped.

These are evidently low character moments, one’s that are comedic in their depiction of blinkeredness but whose emotional takeaways are crystal clear, and one’s that have been written about before. My personal pick from the film, though, comes late when Rob attends Laura’s father’s funeral. He sits in the back and, in typical fashion, turns to the camera to deliver a list of songs to play at his funeral, concluding with his professed wish that “some beautiful, tearful woman would insist on ‘You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me’ by Gladys Knight.” It’s a really galling, egotistical moment that still makes me wince despite having seen the movie umpteen times. Yet, it’s immediately followed by the casket being lowered to the ground as Laura’s sobs ring out in the church. In a movie defined by John Cusack’s vocal timbre, it’s one of the few times when he completely shuts up. From two-thirds down the center aisle, Frears’ camera pushes into Cusack’s face until tears in his eyes are visible, but what you really see is an appropriately guilt-ridden, ashamed expression.

However, none of this evidence carries any weight if your objection to High Fidelity is that Rob suffers no material consequences for his behavior. While Rob is frequently called out for his actions, he is never actively punished. He doesn’t, say, receive a restraining order for continually calling Laura after they’ve broken up or end up alone mending a permanent broken heart because of his past relationships. By the end, Rob and Laura get back together and Rob even starts an independent record label on the side. It’s a stretch to characterize Hornby’s High Fidelity as a redemption tale, but it is a sideways rehabilitation narrative with a happy ending that arises at least partly out of mutual exhaustion.

Those two elements—Rob’s asshole recovery and the exhausted happy ending—rarely seem to factor into High Fidelity discourse. Granted, there’s credence to the idea that, socially and culturally, people have less patience for the personality types depicted in High Fidelity, and thus are less inclined to extend them forgiveness, let alone anything resembling retribution. I suppose that’s a valid reaction, one against which I have no interest in arguing, but it’s somewhat ironic that High Fidelity has endured for reasons that have nothing to do with its conclusions regarding inflexible personal principles and the folly of escapism. Both the book and film are specifically about someone who slowly comes to terms with accepting reality rather than live in a world mediated by pop cultural fantasies whose unrealistic expectations have only caused personal suffering. It’s not unfair to characterize this as a fairly obvious epiphany, but considering we currently live in a world dominated by virtual echo chambers with an entertainment culture committed to validating arrested adolescence, it retroactively counts as “mature” and holds more weight than it otherwise should.

Near the end of High Fidelity, the book, after Rob and Laura have gotten back together in the aftermath of Laura’s father’s death, Hornby includes a chapter featuring five conversations between the couple unpacking the state of their relationship. During the third conversation, Rob and Laura fight about how she doesn’t care about music as strongly as he does, catalyzed by Rob’s objection to Laura liking both Solomon Burke and Art Garfunkel, which, in his mind, is a contradiction in terms. Laura finally admits that not only does she not really care about the difference between them, but that most people outside of his immediate circle of two don’t care about the difference, and that this mentality is indicative of a larger problem. It’s part of what keeps him stuck in his head and reluctant to commit to anything. “I’m just trying to wake you up,” she says. “I'm just trying to show you that you've lived half your life, but for all you've got to show for it you might as well be nineteen, and I'm not talking about money or property or furniture.”

I fell for High Fidelity (first the movie, then the book) as a younger man for the reasons I assume most sensitive-cum-oblivious, culturally preoccupied straight guys do: it accurately pinpoints a pattern of music consumption and organizationally anal-retentive behavior with which I’m intimately familiar. I spent the vast majority of my early years listening to and cataloguing albums, and when I arrived at college, I quickly fell in with a small group of like-minded music obsessives. We had very serious, very prolonged discussions filled with impossibly strong opinions about our favorite artists and records. Few new releases came and went without them being scrutinized by us, the unappreciated scholars of all that is righteous. List-making wasn’t in vogue, but there wasn’t a song that passed us by that we didn’t judge or size up. I was exposed to more music during this relatively short period of time than I likely will ever absorb again. Some of these times were the most engaging and fun of my life, and I still enjoy discussing and sharing music with close friends, but I’m not such a true believer to fully feel comfortable with this behavior. It’s not entirely healthy on its own and definitely alienating to others, and there comes a point when you hear yourself the way a stranger might, or maybe even catch a glimpse of someone’s eyes when you’re midst rant about some stupid album, and realize, “That’s all there is of me. There isn’t anything else.”

This is what Rob proclaims to Laura in the conversation when she tells him she was more interested in music during their courtship than she is now. It’s a patently self-pitying statement on his part that doesn’t go unchallenged by her in the moment or bear fruit in the rest of the novel. Yet, it’s this type of uncomfortably relatable sentiment that goes under-discussed. If High Fidelity will continue to have a life well after its cultural moment has passed, then it’s worth addressing what it offers on its own terms. Near the end of the book, Laura introduces Rob to another couple with whom he gets along quite well. When the evening comes to an end, she tells him to take a look at their record collection, and it’s predictably filled with artists he doesn’t care for, e.g. Billy Joel, Simply Red, Meat Loaf. “'Everybody's faith needs testing from time to time,” Laura tells him later when they’re alone. Amidst Rob’s self-loathing and sullen pettiness, Hornby argues that one should contribute in some way rather than only consume and that, at some point, it’s time to put away childish ideas in order to get the most out of life. It’s an entirely untrendy argument, one that goes against the nostalgic spirit of superhero films and reboot culture, but it doesn’t lack merit. Accepting that some values aren’t conducive to a full life, especially when it’s shared with someone else, doesn’t have to mean abandoning interests or becoming an entirely different person. It just means that letting go isn’t an admission of defeat.

It’s why I’ve always found the proposal scene in the film to be quite moving, albeit maybe not specifically romantic. It plays out similarly in both the book and the film, but the film has the added benefit of Cusack and Hjejle’s performances to amplify the vulnerability and shared understanding. Laura meets Rob for a drink in the afternoon where he sheepishly asks if she would like to get married. Laura bursts out laughing and says that he isn’t the safest bet considering he was making mixtapes for some reporter a few days prior. When asked what brought this on, Rob notes that he’s sick of thinking about love and settling down and marriage and wants to think about something else. (“I changed my mind. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I do. I will,” she sarcastically replies.) He goes on to say that he’s tired of fantasizing about other women because the fantasies have nothing to do with them and everything to do with himself and that it doesn’t exist never mind delivering on its promise. “I’m tired of it,” he says, “and I’m tired of everything else for that matter, but I don’t ever seem to get tired of you.”

This sort of anti-Jerry Maguire line would be callous if Laura didn’t basically say the same thing to him when they got back together. (“I’m too tired not to be with you.”) It’s possible to read this as an act of mutual settling, but I always thought Hornby’s point was personal growth and accepting one’s situation were intertwined. The key moment in High Fidelity, the film, comes when Laura finds Rob’s list of top five dream jobs. (In the book, Laura makes Rob compile the list.) At the bottom of the list, after such standard choices like music journalist and record producer, lies architect, a job that Rob isn’t entirely sure about anyway. (“I did put it at number five!” he insists.) Laura asks Rob the obvious question: wouldn’t you rather own your own record store than hypothetically be an architect, a job you’re not particularly enthused with anyway?

It’s Laura who convinces Rob that living the fifth-best version of your life can actually be pretty satisfying and doesn’t have to be treated like a cruel fate worse than death. Similarly, Rob and Laura both make the active decision to try to work things out instead of starting over with someone else. Laura’s apathy may have reunited them, and Rob’s apathy might have kept him from running, but it’s their shared history that keeps them together. More than the music and the romance, High Fidelity follows the necessary decisions and compromises one has to maneuver in order to grow instead of regress. “I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself,” Rob says near the end of Hornby’s novel. High Fidelity’s emotional potency lies in taking that sentiment seriously.

[twilightofthe]

Ohhhhh Nonny do I have an IDEA for this one, thank you so much. I’m going off of your Separatists idea, thanks!

(You also sent me that second Obikin prompt which I shall also answer boy howdy!)

(OTP prompts list found here)

Obianidala 4 - Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

In this universe, Dooku tries to catch more flies with honey than vinegar at first. When Padmé Amidala starts stirring up a fuss in the Senate about things that could interfere with Sidious’s plans, Dooku sees an opportunity arise. That formidable personality Amidala uses to command attention to her cause, something like that could be useful to him, to have on his side. His Master will certainly disagree, but Dooku knows that his Master cannot be his Master forever. At some point, Sidious will have to be dealt with; why not have the girl who took down the last Chancellor as an ally?

Count Dooku arranges a meeting with Senator Amidala. He tells her the truth about Sheev Palpatine. He shows her the datapad painstakingly compiled with over a decade of evidence of the Chancellor’s high treason. The entire sordid affair that was invasion of Naboo and Palpatine’s role in it is displayed in full. The truth is undeniable.

Padmé has never been so furious in her life. If what is in these documents is true, everything up to and including her own election as Queen, what she prided herself on for achieving through her own success and talent and by the grace of a democratic society, all of it, was his doing. He chose her. He groomed her. Eight fucking years of her life as a civil servant unknowingly dancing on his strings like a puppet, enacting his will, causing her planet and the galaxy irreparable damage. Gods, he chose her because she was weak-minded enough to hand him the Chancellorship on a silver platter.

Dooku tells her of Palpatine’s plan, of the war he’s been cultivating— too late in the proceedings now for Padmé to do anything to stop it, gods, he’s thought of everything, and his ultimate goal of complete galactic domination. He believes Dooku is his servant, on his side, but, Dooku says, he does not plan to follow him forever. He wants to take Palpatine down, and he thinks Padmé could help him.

She learned all of her political prowess from the man who betrayed her. She knows he has left nothing to chance and that there is no way civil law and political action could knock him off his throne, no matter what evidence she gathers. She doesn’t trust Dooku, thinks he’s just as bad.

But Padmé was a tool in Palpatine’s rise. Anything bad that happens because of him is now blood on her hands by proxy.

Padmé Amidala commits herself to an alliance with Count Dooku.

A slightly less detailed version of the evidence shown to Queen Jamillia is enough to commit Naboo as well.

They can’t tell Palpatine yet, don’t want to alert him to their plan, so for a year they plan in private. Dooku is certain his Master is unaware. During that year, Padmé is told of what Darth Sidious really is, how the Sith factor into everything. She really didn’t sign up for this. This is Jedi-level danger that she has no experience in handling and gods, the Jedi don’t even know about any of this, and while Sidious is awful and Padmé Will bring that bastard down, she doesn’t like or trust Dooku in the slightest. Does not want his ideas of how the galaxy should be run.

But what should she do?

The answer comes when Dooku tells her that he is being ordered by his Master to make attempts on her life due to her rabble rousing in the Senate. He won’t actually kill her, he promises, and she knows he needs her enough that she believes him.

And then the sack of utter shit kills Cordé accompanied by a completely unrepentant message to her saying that it was necessary, and Padmé despises him too and maybe that’s why she’s so eager to lightly push him into the fire when Palpatine pulls her into a meeting with the Jedi about it. Maybe the Jedi can help her, do something, maybe—

The Jedi is the same one who was sent to protect her a decade ago, the one Dooku’s mentioned by name from time to time when he’s humored her questions on the Sith and Jedi, his former grand-apprentice Padmé swears he might still be fond of.

And that apprentice’s current apprentice, and damn, Little Ani has certainly grown up...

Obi Wan is truly brilliant, Padmé didn’t appreciate that enough the first time they met. She’d appreciate it more now, if not for the light suspicion she starts picking up from him near the moment the investigation into her attackers starts. She supposes it could just be dislike of how his apprentice is blatantly, adorably enamored with her— which, doesn’t quite bother Padmé like it should, and no, she is not going down that road right now, nope —and it’s easy enough to tell Obi Wan cares very deeply for Anakin, but she suspects it’s more, that he’s caught on that there’s something she might not be telling them.

Having his intense focus on her though? Not entirely bad. His eyes staring into hers and his smooth voice as he asks her questions? Padmé can accept that. She can accept Anakin tripping over himself, being genuine and kind and so eager to help her. Even if she doesn’t want to tell herself why.

After the second assassin attempt— bugs, Dooku, really? —she can tell Obi Wan definitely knows something is up and says so to Dooku, who had promised her he’d handle it.

Her and Anakin are sent off to Naboo and she knows that bothers Obi Wan— though again, is that more his suspicions about her or his worry over Anakin —and she dearly hopes Dooku doesn’t kill him

During the time on Naboo, she learns much more about Anakin Skywalker, his humor, his brightness, his complication, his anger. He’s mad at the government too, and he feels pressure and upset at who he answers to. He’s ridiculously gone on his own Master even if he doesn’t know it, and Padmé has seen Obi Wan with her own eyes so she understands that completely. He’s beautiful and she’s unable to look away from him, especially not when he’s looking right back at her, kisses her, and no, this is a problem, a Major problem because the crux of the entire issue is that he is far, far too close to Palpatine.

Padmé has spent enough time reflecting back on just how exactly Palpatine groomed her, she recognizes it now in Anakin. He, wine flushed over dinner, tells her of the supposed prophecy he doesn’t quite believe in, how he is very powerful in the Force. She remembers all Dooku told her of the Sith, and while she’s sure he didn’t tell her close to all of it, she knows far more than enough to know that Anakin Skywalker is in grave danger

She sees even more of it when Tatooine and his mother come into play

She needs to pull away from this.

The updates Dooku’s sending on Obi Wan, how he’s being lured, her concern, no, none of this is good.

These are good men, bright men, people who just want to help, and she can’t have them around her because they’ll mess up the purpose she’s gambled her entire life for

So when Anakin gets a distress call from Obi Wan on Geonosis, Padmé grits her jaw, shoves down her feelings, and leads Anakin straight into Dooku’s trap.

The look of utter heartbreak and betrayal on his face once they arrive and are captured, when the droids let Padmé go and she walks away from him, the pain in his voice as he says her name, only her name, nothing else, it breaks her.

But this is it, Obi Wan discovered the clones and the game is put in motion, and Padmé can no longer hide in the shadows, has to sit and watch as the two Jedi are put in the arena to die, looks at Dooku who’s watching them with a troubled expression— she knows he made Obi Wan an offer and was turned down, knows he too sees something in Obi Wan like he did in her, and Padmé has an idea because she sensed a likeness in Obi Wan that resides in herself, that he wouldn’t listen to a shady figure like Dooku, but if she could make him see her view, tell him what was controlling them— controlling Anakin...

Anakin, she thinks, would come too. For his Master, if anything, but she knew they had something and if she hadn’t managed to completely kill it by betraying him.

She tells Dooku she might be able to convince the Jedi one more time to see things their way, and he narrows his eyes suspiciously but keeps the other newly-Separatist leaders from going after her when she tosses two blasters into the arena for the unarmed Jedi.

Obi Wan’s glare at her is pure acid and no, that one will not be easy, she very well might fail, and something in her both winces at the disdain but also ignites at the challenge, he is a challenge and she is good at challenges, but she catches Anakin’s eyes and sees confusion, remnants of that awful pain that makes her faint with guilt, and hope, hope in those eyes as he handles the blaster with the ease of a lightsaber— Obi Wan’s even better at it, Padmé notes with amusement, remembering him expressing distaste for them —she feels her heart jump. Maybe she hasn’t destroyed what she and Anakin had, maybe she hasn’t lost him, maybe there’s a chance to explain—

The Jedi show up and they bring the clones, and now it’s a full out battle, the other leaders are fleeing, but Padmé can’t go, not yet, though she is shameless enough to duck behind Jango Fett and let him handle things when she sees Mace Windu headed in her direction with a look like death on his face, which, fair, very fair, Padmé does kind of deserve it, she did lie to everyone

She’s trying to follow Obi Wan and Anakin, catches a swoopbike and gets a small cluster of droids to follow her when she sees them headed on carrier ships.

This time, when one ship is struck, Obi Wan and Anakin are in different transports, so it is Obi Wan who is knocked out of it and tumbles into a sand dune, and Anakin on his way to get Dooku without even noticing his Master fell.

Padmé is ready to use her droid squad to capture him again so she can explain, but now clones are headed his way too, and her droids and the clones engage in a firefight across the sands, so it is Padmé alone who goes across the sand to offer him a hand up

Her getting flipped onto her back and a lightsaber at her chest reminds her that right, he’s a bit peeved with her at the moment

Wait, she tells him, raising her hands complacently. Listen to her, she says, Anakin is in danger.

His hair is unkempt and there’s dirt on his face and his stare seems more intense than ever. His voice is icy as he replies, and who’s fault is that?

She winces. He is mad that she hurt Anakin on top of everything else, which is also fair, she’s mad at herself too. Not from her, she explains, from the Sith Lord, the one Dooku told you about, did he tell you their name?

His eyes narrow, says Dooku said the Sith controls the Senate

Padmé tells him she’s met the Sith, Dooku is right, and that the Sith not only controls the Senate, they control Anakin, have had their eye on him for a very long time

And there’s that flash of protective fire in his eyes, she has his attention, though he’s trying to act like she doesn’t. She likes his attention, is glad he cares for Anakin as much as she does. He asks her, tone dangerous, what the hell she’s talking about.

Padmé takes a breath. You’re in danger of losing him to the Dark Side.

He reels back ever so slightly, snarls, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Ask him what we did on Tatooine, she counters, watches as he takes that entirely the wrong way, the flush of cheeks, the second once-over of her, and she can’t help but be amused.

No, she stresses though, because they don’t have the time, not like that. Ask him what he did. He did something awful and if you don’t help him with that, it will get worse and he will deliver himself right into the Sith’s hands

She can see him paling. He knows she’s not lying. What did he do? Who is this Sith?

She shakes her head, tells him that he will not believe her, and that Anakin must tell him himself, and he must still be there for him. You are what’s keeping him where he is. Don’t drive him away. You can’t lose him.

His eyes narrow, he wants to argue with her and the lightsaber is still at her chest and he’s staring at her just as intensely and her heart is tight, but he’s getting a report on his commlink, and she hears something about Anakin about to engage Dooku, and he swears sharply and is pulling out the blaster she gave him and she doesn’t have time to move before he shoots her with it—

And he stunned her, thank the gods, she wakes up handcuffed in a transport ship with a few clones still milling around, she sees the entrance to the cave system Dooku was using off at a distance, she knows exactly where he would be and knows in her heart that Obi Wan and Anakin are fighting him.

The clones, bless them, are still a little new, and her cuffs are in the front and aren’t exactly chained to anything, and she’s in white just like them so it doesn’t take much to pull her wrap cowl up over her head, wait until one isn’t looking, and take off out of the ship at a run, somehow avoiding getting shot until she’s deep in the cave and has time to pull a pick out of her boot and undo the cuffs with her mouth. She can hear fighting in the distance and she may be unarmed, but she feels she was finally breaking through to Obi Wan and she needs something she can control, not Dooku, not Sidious, her, and she bursts out—

And there’s Dooku, fighting what looks like Master Yoda, and there are both of her men, collapsed on the floor, and obviously there is history between Dooku and his old master so neither of them even pay her any mind as she darts across the ground to where Obi Wan is laying slightly over Anakin— who, gods, is missing an entire arm, Dooku you bastard —and is surprisingly, still awake.

She meets Anakin’s bleary, pain-filled eyes, runs a hand soothingly over his forehead and croons softly at him, melts at how quickly he leans in to her touch despite what she’s done, what side she’s on. It’s okay, shhh, it’s okay, rest.

Did you mean it? he asks her, and her heart shatters. Any of it, did you mean-?

I didn’t want to lie, she tells him, completely honest. You weren’t part of the plan, you never were, hurting you wasn’t—

He makes a confused, sad little noise as she leans closer and oh, she can’t help it, she leans down and she kisses him and he presses into it eagerly, she can taste blood in his mouth, before slumping back to the floor, asleep.

What are you doing? She turns to see Obi Wan struggling to wake, glare back on his face, and oh, these two need to have a serious conversation, but that’s not the now. She wipes Anakin’s blood off her lip.

She tells him she is gaining an ally, and when he flares up, adds that she does truly care for him, and wants him safe, and the only way she can do that is if she takes out the Sith who is after him

Why side with Dooku then, Obi Wan challenges, and she smiles, tells him that Dooku too is a threat, and in this position she can try to bring down the both of them—

With help, she emphasizes. I don’t know the Force, there are things they don’t tell me and I am far from strong enough. If you were to help me...

Obi Wan snaps that he is loyal to the Republic, and Padmé counters, is he to Anakin? Padmé catches the break in his façade for but a second as he glances at his broken apprentice still curled up beside him, and she knows she isn’t wrong.

She dares to reach out, brush a loose strand of shiny auburn hair out of his face while he’s incapacitated, tells him, she is willing to help them. They should consider helping her. He stays still while she brushes his hair, watching her hand. Maybe she hasn’t misjudged him either.

Obi Wan is once more cut off by louder noises and the sound of clones approaching, and Padmé sees Dooku getting ready to flee, so she pats both men on the head once more, tells Obi Wan, commands him, keep him safe. We will meet again.

And she’s off, dodging Yoda who’s running back for the Jedi, catching a swoopbike of her own and tearing off after Dooku to escape the planet.

Naboo has a declaration of secession to make, and a war is starting, and for the first time, Padmé feels like she has options.

[empressarcana]

Timothee Chalamet Tarot Year Cards Timeline (2016-2020) Bonus 2021!

As promised, I have compiled a timeline for Timmy's tarot year cards, starting from 2016. I will only be going through the meanings of each of the years through the symbolism of tarot. I might add some minute details, but everyone can fit in the blanks as they see fit.

This is also a disclaimer, this is meant for entertainment purposes. I enjoy using tarot symbolism to understand the world around me better, doesn't mean I am claiming there to be truth to my words. Thank you. During the time I was writing, whether I was listening to music or just receiving channeled messages, certain words and phrases stood out. I will be putting those in bold and italics.

Onward to the timeline! 

2016 - Hanged Man

Let's start with 2016 which was the Hanged Man card. The card itself is about looking at things from a different perspective, enlightenment. My soul cries for deliverance. According to Mary Greer, "it is a time to release things from the past". I tried to kill the pain, crimson regret. Release people you are attached to, it might feel like a betrayal. There is plenty of spiritual growth during this year. There is a sense of sacrifice for this new vision. It is a time to put someone else's needs before your own. Confusion, a fog because one is trying to see through the mask of the past. It is time to purify the self from the past, bring in only what truly matters. This was a year of reaching new levels of self for Timmy.

2017 - Death  

As suggested, Death is a year full of change and transformation. Very rarely it means an actual death, but this could have very well been an ego death in Timmy's case. Everything learned from the Hanged Man year is being implemented here. Seeing things from a different perspective to accepting this—we're only deceiving ourselves—someday you'll remember yourself.(At this point of me writing this timeline, I had a very intense connection and I truly feel I was psychically attacked but I will spare you all those details. I am okay though.)

"Time to shed old skin for new growth." In a Hanged Man year, you face whatever is hanging you up. If we go by the cards, Timmy faced the issue in 2016, coming to 2017 he is liberated from what was hanging him up. By letting go of what doesn't service you, it clears the path for better things to come your way. I truly believe this was the year for that. Exploring new possibilities. In this Death year, you gain the ability to merge with something—someone and the experience is deeply transformative. Awareness for life and love, everything starts to clear up. His connection, bonds, we know well where I'm going with this.

2018 - Temperance 

In 2018, Timmy's card was Temperance. Alchemy, blending together elements of self to work for you. This is a time of combining lessons and putting them into practice. It is a time to rejuvenate, replenish, and relive. There is an interest in new forms of old things and to revive ideas which might have not made it to light. Being near water can be healing during a Temperance year. This was a year of making connections and networking. Learning from the Hanged Man and Death years, Timmy is implementing the lessons learned but I sense a warning. This card is about moderation. Even if lessons were learned and implemented, if abused, they won't bring healing properties, instead it will bring bondage.

2019 - Devil

The Devil year is very important because not only is Timmy a Capricorn Sun, which the Devil card is ruled by, but by not utilizing the resources he worked hard toward/gained during Temperance year, his Devil year will only tighten the chains of enslavement to the industry. If he doesn't play his cards right, he will be consumed by schemes and promises of success, which will only bring him farther away from his true self. In fact, during a Devil Year you can lose your identity because it is like selling your soul to the Devil. I believe Timmy is humble, but along the way he lost himself, not trusting himself enough and getting into situations very unlike what he has portrayed in the past. What is it all for? "Becoming possessed by your desires." It is important to define how these desires make you or break you. If you become a slave to your desires (or ambitions), are you truly enjoying yourself? This is a year to really look deep within and have a conversation with your shadow.

2020 - Tower

Last one and we shall be up to date. Here it is everyone, 2020, the epitome of the Tower card, in my opinion. In the Tower year there is plenty of upheaval, it is a time to have beliefs shattered before your eyes. The Death year, truly, has nothing on a Tower year. Whatever barriers were created during a Devil year, this is the perfect time to figure out what really matters to you. The Tower card is the most intimidating to me, because there is so much chaos, especially in the Rider Waite version. All the ambition and steps toward a more demanding future will lead to plenty of tests, which is the Universe's way of checking in on you. 

Like, hey do you still want this? Is it really what's best for you right now? Expect your whole belief system to get shaken up, possibly crumbled. Whatever has been repressed will be released. Safe inside myself. Without the mask where will you hide? Can't find yourself, lost in your lies. Timmy could either accept what's happening or continue to ignore what's stirring inside. You know you've got everybody fooled. This is a year to purge, purge everything that has been holding his inner truth back. The change will be so big, please Timmy listen to your gut some. Don't get lost in this 3D, there is so much more than you realize.

Bonus 2021 - Strength

Reset.

Primary questions Timmy should ask himself: "Is my heart in what I'm doing?" "Is it what I truly desire?"

He needs to know where he stands. He cannot go on without assessing these aspects of self first. Of course, he can but he will only allow the puppet strings of his Devil year take more control until he loses himself. He won't recognize himself.

This is a lesson for anyone that needs to do inner work. It is so, so important to feed the soul. It hungers just as much as the body. I feel 2021 will be an eventful year full of passion for Timmy. It could indicate a deeper sensual or sexual exploration (like his Death year). All this passion if directed with pure and true intention can lead to the biggest spike in his career yet. As long as he sticks to what he wants in a productive way, he will benefit from immense soul growth.

Alright, folks, that's a wrap! It took me a bit to channel the right messages for this entry, but I finally got to finishing it. I might do one for Armie if you guys enjoyed this one. 

Also, for more tarot goodies check out my youtube and tiktok. I post pick a cards and readings all the time. If you appreciate the time I put into creating this please consider buying me a coffee, it is always greatly appreciated. 

Information on private readings can be found here.

Stay safe, everyone!  Here’s your friendly, neighborhood tarot reader signing out! ♥

[jdkloosterman]

SQUAD A: Primary function--assault and destruction. Operative 07, codename ""Delilah" Previous attempts to recreate Hulk-like abilities have invariably met with disaster due to the accompanying berzerker rage.  The Section 11 scientists took a different approach and instead tried to replicate the work of Dr. Samson, tying the particular super-strength of the Hulk to the length of the subject's hair.  Trace genetic samples of the Red Hulk were used in experimentation on a test subject.  Project deemed a partial success, though "Delilah" still has high levels of aggression and can be difficult to control, particularly if her hair length is not maintained within optimal parameters.  Operative 01 has displayed a marked affinity for her, but so far experiments involving attempts at breeding have met with no success. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: "Breeding?" Are you serious with this?  Damnit, those eggheads are messed up.] Operative 08, codename "Waif" "Waif" is unusual in not coming from the usual pool of test subjects, but is in fact the natural daughter of one of Section 11's lead scientists, Dr. Yamanaka.  Her powers emerged at a young age uncontrollably during a traumatic car accident that killed one of her closest friends.  Her powers were uncontrollable and destructive until the implant could be successfully installed.  Though Dr. Yamanaka has attempted, since, to speak with his daughter, she does not seem to recognize him or anyone from her old family at all. "Waif" is one of the few operatives in Section 11 permitted to wear non-standard gear, as disruptions to her daily routine have been observed to have a negative impact on her stability. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Guy lobotomized his own daughter.  No wonder she won't talk to him.] Operative 09, codename "Samurai." "Samurai" is a clone created by Dr. Akimichi, spliced with DNA from the metahuman Blob. His armor is developed based on intense study of the metahuman Juggernaut and his armor.  Though docile and responding well to direction, "Wamurai" has little initiative of his own.  He also does not speak, and only communicates through "Waif."  He has been observed to have a calming impact on her, hence why the two are paired together.  "Samurai" also carries a series of steroids and stimulants for use in high-stress combat situations, and has received military training. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Love this kid.  Like a minature tank.] *Note: Given the volatile nature of the group, they require extensive coordination.  Dr. Nara's "Deer" AI has proven useful in this task, supplemented by Shadow drones capable of observing and compiling data.** **Further Note: Dr. Nara's "Deer" AI has been flagged for review after numerous incidents displaying near-sentience, including several statements curiously similar to Dr. Nara's late son.  Director Danzou has ordered an investigation into thJA)djs&(*Yhiue---------RECORD DELETED

SQUAD B--Primary Function: Infiltration and Recon Operative 03: "Gemini 1" Gemini 1 is not suited to intense combat situations unless supported by Gemini 2.  Her primary skill set is stealth, infiltration, and cyberops.  Similar to Gemini 2, she possesses hyper-optogrophy and can see in multiple layers of the spectrum, including infrared, ultraviolet, and x-ray. Energy blasts from the palms are able to target internal organs. Tests have also confirmed a psychic link between her and Gemini 2, wherein information and even physical pain can be conveyed between one and the other.   Gemini 1 has also been observed to have a notable attraction to Operative 01, which might possibly be useful. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Who authorized that test, and how was "physical pain" determined?] Operative 04: "Gemini 2" Gemini 2 is the twin of Gemini 1 and possesses all her abilities.  He has a much higher combat aptitude, and has been noted in field operations to have a particular protective instinct involving Gemini 1.  It has also been noted that Gemini 2's combat effectiveness dips noticeably when confronted with anti-citizens Kusanagi and Green Beast.  Confrontations should be avoided. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Who did we get these twins from, I wonder. Probably from one of the "clinics."] Operative 05: "Weapon K" Weapon K is the most successful emulation of the Weapon X project thus far.  Though it is still difficult to maintain complete control, and the adamantium binding process was not entirely successful, still he retains the all-important healing factor acquired from Weapon X, as well as the heightened senses. Weapon K handles the majority of combat situations that Squad B encounters, though he is indiscreet and tends to leave a mess behind. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Just something not right about this boy.] Operative 06: "Shino Entity" It has yet to be determined whether Shino Entity is, in fact, a budding psychic who was consumed by insects and gained control of them, or merely a strange collective of psychic insects under a shared delusion of once having been human. Investigation is ongoing, though attempts to isolate and inspect individual insects of the hive mind have been counter-productive, as Shino Entity has invariably become aware of the isolation and dissection of members of his hive mind.  Accordingly, invasive experiments have for the  moment been suspended to ensure his ongoing collaboration.  His skill set is incredibly valuable and unique, however, enabling mass recon on a almost simultaneous response, and while not suited to combat, is essentially indestructible. Shino Entity requires little care save maintenance of the containment suit and a daily piece of rotten meat.  This seems sufficient to have earned his cooperation, along with a curious affinity for the other members of Squad B--though it still has not been determined how he manages to speak. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: I don't really care where he came from.  As long as he keeps up his work, he can call himself Shino or Lord Nelson for all I care.] LEADERSHIP TEAM Commader Kakashi: Field Commander.  Last living member of the original Section 11 team, Commander Kakshi has been declared not fit for combat due to the injury suffered to his eye during the Apocalypse Incident.  He now serves Section 11 in a supervisory tactical role, planning out missions to accomplish goals as set by the rest of the leadership.  Though not strictly required, Commander Kakashi makes a habit of deploying with the Section 11 Operatives whenever possible, a practice which Section Chief Danzou has cited him for numerous times. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Let the old man complain, I'm not sending kids out there without backup.] Dr. Tsunade: Head of Mutagenic Studies.  Dr. Tsunade left a promising career at Tokyo University to lead the medical and study wing of Section 11.  She is in charge of monitoring the operative's physical state and the nature of their mutations, as well as any new mutations that arise.  Dr. Tsunade's connection to the program is more than professional, as her grandfather was closely involved in its creation, a fact which may have weighed into her decision to join.  Dr. Tsunade also considers herself in charge of the operative's well-being, a matter which has also led her to clash with Section Chief Danzou. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: The lady should be in charge from everything I've seen.  Though what she did to the meeting table makes me wonder if her studies have been leading to more practical applications of mutagens, recently.] Dr. Inoichi: Section Chief Danzou's successful recruitment of the famous "Ino-Shika-Cho" team may be considered one of the great accomplishments of his administration. Dr. Inoichi joined the program out of desperation to find some solution to his daughter's newly awakened powers, and his two friends followed him.  A neurology specialist, Dr. Inoichi has done groundbreaking work regarding metahuman psychics and extra-natural brain structure.  He devised the device which currently helps his daughter to keep her powers in check, which is currently under development for possible use against enemy psychics. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Why does the record note this as an accomplishment of Danzou's? Inoichi joined us because of his daughter's accident, Danzou had nothing to do with it.] Dr. Shikaku: Shikaku, a renowned specialist in artificial intelligence and computer learning simulations, joined the program alongside his friend. His algorithms run much of the training programs that the operatives use, as well as much of the predictive software crucial to Section 11's smooth operation.  The death of his son left him emotionally distant and he has a noted reluctance to meet with any of the operatives outside of Inoichi's daughter.  Much of his work since joining Section 11 has been on his prototype ASI "Shika" and its proxy drone. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: I swear, that thing almost seems sometimes like it's actually senti303@..%$)(~~~- ERROR DATA CORRUPTION... Dr. Chouza: The final member of the Ino-Shika-Cho team, Dr. Chouza's specialty runs more in the physical arena than either of his friends, primarily involving force multipliers such as the Hulk and Blob. His "Choji" clone program has potential to create an entire army once the formula has been perfected and the laboratory repaired. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: Chouza's heart isn't in this, and that laboratory will never be fixed if he has anything to say about it.] Section Chief Danzou: Despite his near-fatal injuries from the Apocalypse Incident, Section Chief Danzou has transformed Section 11 into an elite fighting force in the wake of his predecessor.  The current roster and focus of the division is entirely due to his guidance.  He has a noted tendency for keeping his plans to himself and frequently overrules his leadership staff. [COMMANDER'S NOTE: There is reason to believe that the old man has an even more dark-ops organization on the side, for missions he considers too sensitive even for Section 11.]

[kingstoken]

Sastiel (Sam/Castiel) Rec List

So, because I've fallen down a Sastiel hole the last couple of months, which I have no intention of climbing my way out of, and I've been reading a lot of fic, I figured it might be time to compile a good old fashioned rec list.  This list is by no means comprehensive, these are just some stories I liked and I think others might enjoy as well. Title: Locks of Love Author: Hils Rating: T Warnings: There is one scene near the beginning that is wincesty, where Dean gets handsy with Sam, nothing happens, Dean is under a spell and feels disgusted with himself afterwards.  Also, Lucifer, he's basically his own warning Summary: (The author doesn't provide a summary) Sam is cursed by a spell where anyone who sees his hair falls madly in lust with him My notes: This explores what in theory should be a funny concept and takes it seriously, poor Sam has to isolate himself from people, but don't worry there is also plenty of fluff.  I like the slow build up of Cas and Sam's relationship.  Also, Sam looking after a sick/injured Cas, which there s not enough in Sastiel fanfiction in my opinion. Title: Between the Shadow and the Soul Author: Vera Rating: T Warnings: Some purgatory level violence, but nothing extremely graphic.  References to Sam dying multiple times. Summary: What if Sam was the one that went to Purgatory with Castiel? My Notes: Do you like a some angst?  Then this might be the fic for you!  After I read this my only comment was "painfully beautiful".  This explores how one partner can hurt another, even if they had good intentions.  The author's concept of Purgatory is slightly different than canon, but it really adds a depth and an anguish, that the show didn't provide. Title: Naked Below These Words Author: Ebyru Rating: E Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Sam and Dean being very angry with Cas, some suicidal thoughts from Cas, dark themes Summary: After Castiel's death, Sam tries to forget about him, but he feels like he's still around--somewhere. Sam starts writing him letters. My Notes: Do you like a lot of angst?  This is an alternative season 7, that deals with the aftermath of Godstiel. The first half of the fic is Sam writing letters to Cas, while he tries to deal with his feelings of anger and betrayal over Cas' actions, while also trying to reconcile these feelings with the friend he still loves.  And, when Cas does come back he is screwed up (no Emanuel or crazy Cas here).  Plus Sam and Cas begin a sexual relationship under circumstances that are probably not ideal. I think what I like about this story is that it really explores Sam's feelings about canon events, that the show tends to skate over. Title: Catalog of Non-Definitive Acts Author: Ebyru Rating: M Warnings: Dream sex, Purgatory, Mild gore Summary: Sam finds Castiel in his dreams. Dean told him about that, but he never expected to experience it firsthand. It’s not at all like he imagined. My Notes: An alternative season 8, where Cas visits Sam's dreams while him and Dean are stuck in Purgatory.  This author's dream imagery is very well written.  I love the idea of Cas contacting Sam in his dreams scenario, letting him know that Dean and him are alive, it gets around the whole "Sam didn't know if they were alive" issue and pulls Sam into the Purgatory storyline.  Also, Sam looking after and protecting an injured and weak Cas. Title: Lovely, Dark, and Deep Author: rospeaks Rating: T Warnings: Insomnia Summary: Cas had thought that getting his memories back would make things easier, but the silence that plagued him as an amnesiac drives him to insomnia even after he's rejoined with the Winchesters. Sam helps him sleep. My Notes: Amnesiac Cas getting his memories back, and not being able to sleep because of it.  This is just Sam being sweet, trying to comfort Cas, and they end up cuddling in bed together Title: and oh, my dreams Author: remy Rating: G Warnings: Sam under Djinn spell Summary: When Sam loses consciousness on a hunt after being attacked with djinn venom, it's up to Cas to venture into his subconscious and try to find him there. My Notes: One of the first Sastiel fics I think I ever read, and it really turned me on to the pairing.  Sam is put under a Djinn's spell, and Cas goes into his dreams, when he's there he realizes that in Sam's dreamworld Sam and him are a couple.  The dreamworld is really bittersweet, especially once Cas clues Sam in to what's going on, but don't worry it has a happy ending.     Title: Everyone Needs Something Author: AnOddSock Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: Sam is a little touched starved. Cas is a little touched starved. Maybe between them they can figure out a better way to live. My Notes: Sam needs more physical intimacy, hugging, holding hands, touching and he seeks to get it from Cas, and over time they accidentally fall into a romantic relationship.  This fic is really sweet, just Sam and Cas finding comfort and closeness with each other Title: A Gift Of Mistletoe Author: flawedamythyst Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: After Sam gets his soul back, Castiel starts bringing him presents. My Notes: Christmas fic! Cas keeps bringing Sam gifts of branches, thinking this an appropriate human convention, but Sam just isn't getting what Cas is trying to say.  Humorous.   Title: How to Date an Angel in 140 Characters or Less Author: 13chapters Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Castiel has found a new use for his phone. Unfortunately for Sam, he isn't too clear on the concept of "privacy". My Notes: This one is a sequel to another fic, but you can read it as a stand alone.   Cas gets a twitter account, and amasses a following, but he doesn't understand the concept of oversharing.  Very funny. Title: Closer to Heaven and Closer to You Author: Epiphanyx7 Rating: T Warnings: Sam has minor jealously of the Dean & Cas relationship in the beginning Summary: Castiel is an angel. And angels don't have emotions. My Notes: Sam notices how Cas looks and acts around Dean is different from how Cas looks at him.  Basically its about Sam trying to get Cas to like him, and develops into them having a relationship.  Its sweet and funny Title: At the End of This Day Author: killabeez Rating: T Warnings: Episode tag 11x06 Summary: A tag to 11x06, in which Sam finds unexpected comfort close to home. My Notes: Sam reassuring Cas, Netflix in Sam's bedroom, first kiss, what's not to love? Title: Kiss Me Quick Author: sixtysevenlmpala Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Sam knew letting Cas tag along on an undercover job was kind of asking for something out of the ordinary to happen. But he never would have expected this. My Notes: I think I like this fic because Cas is the one initiating things and being well aware that he is doing it too, which is kind of rare in Sastiel fic it seems Title: One Night Author: story_monger Rating: T Warnings: Sex work, discussions of drug addiction, some discussion of past child abuse, Non-Supernatural AU, some self hatred by Cas, but he is ultimately accepting of his own and Sam's sexuality   Summary: Castiel has already gone through the rigmarole of coming out as asexual and aromantic. That somehow doesn't stop a few unruly cousins from setting Castiel up with a stupidly tall sex worker named Sam. Castiel is mortified and ready to put the whole thing behind him, except he and Sam inexplicably bump into each other again a few weeks later. It marks the beginning of a friendship that ushers them into new territories, both with each other and the people around them. My Notes: Asexual Cas.  I haven't read a lot of asexual Cas, but I think this fic handles it really well.  It's a Non-Supernatural AU, Cas works at a museum, and Sam is a law student who pays for school via sex work.  I think Sam's profession is also handled well, it showcases that it is okay for Sam to be a sex worker, while also not shying away from some of the dangers inherit in that type of work.  It is such a great fic that shows Cas and Sam forming an unlikely friendship, and the two them trying to figure out what type of relationship they can have while dealing with a variety of issues.  This is also where I confess that in AU fics I love when all the angels are part of a large extended, dysfunctional family, and this fic delivers.  This fic is chocked full of side characters, and not just the angels, Meg, Charlie, Benny, Mrs Tran, Ellen, Jo, Ash and of course Dean.  It deals with some tough issues while also managing to be sweet.  I can't tell you how much I love this fic, I was sad to see it end, I just wanted to read more about their lives together Title: 0930 Hours Author: thistidalwave Rating: T Warnings: Non-Supernatural AU Summary: or, how to woo the guy who saved your life in less than ten days. My Notes: Cas is having trouble talking to Sam, and everyone and their brother has advice, whether Cas wants it or not.  This one has a small town feel, and it's charm is its use of the side characters, including several angels, plus Dean, Ellen and Jo. Humorous.