#since i've put anything into an answer and i just. i sorta went for it

[tiredassmage]

2, 3, 4, 5, 18 (if your OC was an NPC) for Alucren (and free pass to talk about other OCs if you want :D)

crawls out of the abyss. I said one day, one day I'll work through some of my backlog, slowly. so. I'm gonna finally attempt to wrestle with this one, lol.

[oc as nps]

hands u new alucren screenshot as collateral for takin so heckin' long kladnflkadsfl

2) Would they be a class specific character? & 3) When would you recruit them?

Stabbing at both of these because I think the answer feels cleanest when I tackle it together. For all the time I've left this stewing at the back of my brain, I have yet, at least, to come up with an idea that gave me a strong opinion on class specific, but I do figure Alucren for being the type to only hang around fellow Imperials in the long-term. And that... inclines me towards saying he's a latecomer as far as an NPC, particularly a recruitable one.

And to take the excuse to ramble a bit about characters for that (and we'll go ahead and use that as a cut queue, too):

He's... stubborn, is the simplest way to say it. Raised in the Imperial system and deeply strict about his adherence to it, to go a bit further into it. And it's really not until Fallen Empire and Eternal Throne, where the entire order of the galaxy is sort of challenged by the presence of Zakuul as a major third power, that Alucren really... isn't given any other option but to face his own music and reflection in the mirror and actually... do a bit of reflection and reckoning with it. It's a little a lot maybe to dig into without also digging out a pegboard and some string to explain different versions of events with other ocs and characters and all that to explain, but the short version is, essentially, even though Alucren ultimately gets to a place where he's more comfortable in a scenario like the Alliance and willing to have those sort of cross-faction relationships despite differences in opinion and all that, it requires... a lot of self-realization first that Alucren's... really slow with and frankly pretty uncertain about, which I think I'm gonna pick back up on again for 18, so stay tuned, but.

Again, attempt to do a long thing short, he comes around a bit better to change, but it doesn't change his sense of place. His home is the Empire, and Alucren's core values... really boil down to family, and his concept of duty and honor in... sometimes a bit of a nebulous, conflicting order despite his performances and gnashing teeth to the contrary and that... means he won't leave. Any partnership sort of outside of that typical binary isn't meant to be long-term to him. He's... really not sure how to mentally explain it to himself, let alone justify prioritizing it over what he's built his life on, quite frankly, but don't tell him I told you.

4) Where would you recruit them from? & 5) What would their recruitment mission be?

Okay, so this part might have been the one that gave me the most trouble from this list (probably because it's hard for me to separate them, again >.> lol). I think the most interesting options for his recruitment would probably involve a few creative liberties with how things go in-game. Not to get too double-dipping ahead of myself, but his role is... a little difficult to define because he's not... in one that particularly. fits him. Just because he served as a Cipher doesn't mean he was ever an ideal fit for the role. But it was where he was needed - at least to be a body in a role, to fill a gap or what have you, and Alucren's raising and training requires of him to serve where he is needed by his Empire.

It's fairly likely he arguably remained in some sort of capacity with Sith Intelligence through its incarnations over the events of Ziost and into the events of KOTXX, so one of my thoughts as far as earliest appearance was maybe on Iokath as far as substantial interactions go, but... now that I've mentioned Ziost, it's possible he could've made at least a brief appearance or mention as one of the holdover assets from Imperial Intelligence. I do think he spent probably a fair amount of time working closer to home, so to speak, in between vanilla and more recent content, left to his own devices though...

Anyway, the other consideration that comes to mind is something a lot more recent - maybe tied somehow into events with Elom and Legacy of the Sith. I do think Alucren's... let's say... brand of loyalty was arguably liable to get him into something like hot water with one Sith lord or another sooner or later even if we take out the elements of him that have become so interesting to contemplate when he's around the events of Cipher Nine and Darth Jadus, so it's possible that kind of experience or that kind of relationship and owed loyalties would put him in play as an agent potentially acting on the behalf of a specific benefactor maybe even in addition to his interests as a loyal Imperial operative. His previous roles with more diplomatic and expansion roles prior to his experience as a Cipher may actually make him quite interesting to introduce as an agent for Darth Xarion's interest in the Alliance. As for the nature of that interest, is he possibly there to investigate for anyone suspiciously against the Empire's interests..? Maybe so. Or if the Commander is in more full cooperation with the Empire, he is surely there to simply facilitate a better relationship between merging parties. And help with security risks.

Certainly. Right?

In either case, it's likely less that he has a specific mission which you have to recruit him in so much that he is... introduced during one of the group cutscenes and maybe has a one-on-one interaction with the Commander after where he explains more of his role and offers his services on behalf of his superiors. Think a bit more functionally sort of how Anri and Tau have been so far, though possibly as a bit more permanent resident of the Alliance base with a posting for this particular engagement.

18) If they are recruitable in vanilla story, where are they during KOTFE/KOTET? What are/were they doing?

So, I did say I would push off his involvement, but that doesn't mean I don't have thoughts about this, lol. Some of this comes up a bit in the piece I wrote for him and Taizi (blorbo from friend's brain @hyrohkaah fame) reuniting actually during KOTFE, but I also wanna steal the opportunity to speak a bit more generally about one of the, like, catnip pieces about Alucren, to me.

And it's that Alucren is... afraid. Despite appearances, despite the kind of proud stallion act about him, a lot of it is... uncertainties and fears. And one of the interesting contrasts between him and Tyr because I love making contrasts between them - it is how I started Alucren, after all. To take things that were so integral to Tyr and... wonder what kind of character I'd have if I flipped his core values.

So, Tyr is... Tyr is so fucking ride or die. To a godsdamned fault. Quite possibly to the detriment of his own health. You'll see it in his loyalties, his justifications, the way he wears his service with Imperial Intelligence still as a badge of honor because his loyalty was to people like Keeper and Shara. Tyr doesn't give up on them because he never feels they give up on him. When Tyr says, Imperial Intelligence never betrayed me. He believes it. In the ways that matter, he believes they haven't. Keeper didn't. Shara didn't. Ardun Kothe, even, he... doesn't hold a grudge with - hell, even respects, still - because of this kind of loyalty. And Tyr... doesn't exactly have a lot of people on that kind of list. He doesn't have a lot to lose, and what little he does have is worth giving everything, to him, to fight for. He's willing to burn himself at both ends for that, to keep deconstructing himself and bending his own boundaries so someone else doesn't have to. Tyr's grounded by people that are close to him, but he's also... an idealist. As much as he doesn't realize it. He's someone capable of striving for ideals.

And... the short way to sort of say of Alucren is that... that isn't... him. Ideals and big overarching pictures just don't have as much sway on him. I've already said he's loyal. Both of them have areas where they are stubbornly loyal. And Alucren and Tyr butt heads sometimes because those areas don't always overlap.

Alucren has three older sisters that were and are dearly important to him. He grew up very close with them. Family, as was already mentioned, right? And... he has a strong sense of duty. He has a strong sense of how he was raised, and what he should value based on that experience, that more fairly-off background with a successful Imperial lineage as his backing. Change is... a lot bigger to him. He's a lot more likely to balk at it. It's... intimidating. Alucren isn't... an agent of change, in that sense, where Tyr is. Tyr is... a lot more ready to jump in because Tyr doesn't have that sense of place to lose. Alucren still has an attachment to an identity that existed before his role as a Cipher. He's got things and people that he's... not ready to lose.

Which is all just... a lot of build up to say Alucren's not the first person that would've been looking for the Outlander. Even if they had been close. When the Empire, when his superiors, say they're dead, when the threat of Zakuul is already so close as to have been the attack on Korriban, that attacks on Dromund Kaas, the blockades, all the other tensions implied during the five year period the Outlander is in carbonite... Alucren goes back to Dromund Kaas. He goes back, at least on paper, to be closer with his sisters, to keep them safe. Because he has a duty or responsibility or however else he decides to dress it up on that particular day to protect the Empire, to protect home.

But it's also... because a lot is changing. Zakuul is... upending a lot of what he knew. A lot of that sense of place, a lot of that identity he clung to in his loyalties.

And it's not just "former" Republic personnel being involved that make him hesitate to join something like the Alliance. He very likely wouldn't join the Alliance at all unless someone he knew and cared for was there and had a strong enough conviction in its need to exist and its purpose to argue for him to join them. (Tyr, for example, to go back to the fic, really only gets him there because its Taizi. And Tyr very nearly doesn't manage it. Because Tyr and Alucren have different values and Tyr argues from his understanding of his own. But... for as much as Tyr and Alucren have going on as a pair directly, Tyr's... Tyr would have a hard time convincing him to show up, based on their own relationship. If that was all they working on, but I'm. getting off-topic.)

ANWAY. THAT is all just. a long-winded way to explain that he's back on Dromund Kaas during probably a fair portion of the five year gap and at least the early parts of KOTFE. He might have had some few assignments to take him out to investigate any Republic process during that time, but he asked in his reassignment to stay closer to be with his sisters. And a lot of that time is... him trying to stick to those core three values and... also figure out what they're going to look like in a galaxy that's changing because of Zakuul's presence. Having to grapple with the real implications of his loyalties and his values and what's it all really mean, is this truly important to him, how much of it is all a mask..? All those kind of questions he never really gave himself time to sit with in the thick of a career in Intelligence. Some of it gets reaffirmed, some of it involves some realizations on areas to maybe be more open to change, if not... get ready to actually make those changes...

Which... wow, turned into a whole ramble uhm. >.> Ahhem. I give him a lot of shit for being my fucked up lil guy who is a lil like a bag of marbles dropped across the floor, but he is... he is also just. sometimes my soggy cardboard box guy. And he does some growth in there. Just a lil bit though don't inflate his ego too much.

[skzhua]

Hi! Sorry to bother again lol. I’m the Han obsessed girl lol. At it again with another request story cause my mind spirals but anyways I was thinking a forbidden love and sorta enemies to lovers so basically Han really wants to be with y/n but can’t cause of there differences and family issues etc and y/n pushes Han away cause she knows she likes him and all and basically angst and some fluff at the end? If that makes sense! - Sorry for the long request anyways Luv your work <3 (That’s why I keep coming back lol)

He's Not What He Seems to Be

MASTERLIST

Pairing: New CEO!Han Jisung x Rival!Female Reader, brief Lee Felix x Reader.

Genre: CEO!AU, forbidden love!AU, rivals-to-lovers, fluff, angst, slow burn.

Word Count: 19,435

Warnings: Swearing, insults, drinking, suggestive, mentions of sex but nothing too explicit, one mention of cheating. (proofread-ish)

A/N: I've been wanting to do a forbidden love kind of thing for a while, thank you! This is basically what I was already working on, but I changed it a bit so it could work for your request.

A/N 2: My longest fic so far! I love this story so much and put so much into it! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did when writing it.

one. - now -

"Has Miss L/N signed the papers yet?" the man asked your father, as if you weren't in the room already.

"She has not yet. We are to discuss our agreement before we commit to anything." your father answered politely.

"I see." the man, also known as Mr. Bang, breathed out. "I expect an answer until tomorrow night. We have our big announcement ceremony. I will be delighted to know you there."

Your father nodded politely before leaving the room while you stayed behind. As the door closed, you sent a glare to Mr. Bang. Upon seeing your reaction, he lets out a laugh.

"Chan, stop it." you rolled your eyes.

"Please, your father is so serious." he kept on laughing.

"If only he saw how you are out of office..." you mumbled in exasperation. "I think you becoming a CEO has only worsen your IQ."

He huffed in response. "Your company is nothing without mine, watch how you talk to me."

"Bruh..."

"Y/N, this is serious business!" he exclaimed.

"I know that, but I also know you are, first and foremost, my best friend. Plus, how did you talk about me just now? As if I'm some puppet who only gets to sign stupid papers."

He shook his head as he turned on his computer. "I was only joking."

"Yeah, well, my father didn't get that." you scoffed.

You went around his desk and leaned forward to see the statistics marked on his screen. You frowned when one number caught your attention. The Han technologies had risen significantly.

"I thought you said our new line of intelligent watches helped us beat the Han company." you commented.

"It did. For like a week." he sighed. "Your company is not doing so good, let me tell you."

The Bang family was a renowned one in the industry. Their ideas were always original and fresh, the public loved it. The Han were more traditional, but they managed to keep a great image since they kept on releasing new stuff all the time. Plus, their promoting team was a hard one to beat. And then, there was the L/N. You used to lead the technology brands with the Bang. However, with time, your ideas were not as impressive as they used to be. The Han family sued you for plagiarism a few years ago and this was a huge step back for your improvement. Luckily, Chan had recently taken his father's place as the CEO of Bang inc. and agreed on helping your company to increase your legitimacy. That was only because you two had studied together in college and grew to support one another.

"Isn't Han Jisung supposed to take the spot as their new chairman?" you asked when your eyes spotted his name on the screen.

"He gets promoted tomorrow morning."

You groaned in annoyance. "Does it mean he is going to be there at your night event?"

"Yes." he gave you a weak smile. "If it helps you to feel any better, he is only there to discuss business with us. You don't even have to address him a single word."

You scoffed again. "Trust me, I'll stay away from this guy. Why do you have business with him. anyway? I thought you were helping me!" you acted offended.

"Stop whining, Y/N. You're becoming CEO next year as well. See the following months as an opportunity to learn more about the industry." he patted your back.

You deadpanned at him, arms crossed. "You're so annoying."

"And that is why you love me." he faked a smile. "You should join your father before he asks me to marry you again."

Although your father thought the ideal solution to save the company was to marry you off to Chan, the latter had refused multiple times. You were his best friend, he would never take away such a big part of your life from you.

"Fair enough." you shrugged. "Don't forget to send me the papers, I'll sign them tonight."

"Yeah, yeah." he motioned his hand at you while his eyes were stuck on his computer. "See you tomorrow."

You joined your father outside, and there were already journalists surrounding him, asking him questions about your downfall and how he planned to save his company. You came to his rescue by telling them off and dragging your father behind to the car. Once in the vehicle, you asked the driver to bring you home.

"I really think you should marry Mr. Bang for our sake." he shot at you as the car started to move. "This would do great publicity and help us rise our sells."

"Well, it's a shame he doesn't want to propose to me." you sighed with a hint of playfulness in your voice.

"Y/N, be serious for once!" he nagged at you. "You've known the man for years and he is very respectful. I see no issue in a marriage."

You rolled your eyes at him. "I don't want to marry him, neither does he. He is already helping us a lot, it should be enough for now."

"And look at the results. This only made us beat the Han family for a week or so."

Not wanting to argue, you simply sighed loudly and looked out the window. You passed in front of the Han building and caught a slight glimpse of Han Jisung. Another thing you hated about the man was how good-looking he was. This was surely going to help him raise their numbers after he gets promoted.

Finally getting home, you rushed to your room to go wash up. Your day had been a hassle with the meetings with Chan, trying to act as if you haven't seen each other at your worst back in college. The moment you stepped in the shower, your phone went off. Glancing at the contact, you shrugged it off and declined. A few minutes into washing your hair, it went off again. With a groan, you hurried to rinse off the shampoo and soap that remained on your body.

Still damped, you answered rudely. "What?"

"Uh... Is this a bad timing? I thought you told me you'd be off work by now..." the voice on the other side spoke with uncertainty.

"I am at home, but couldn't you have waited five minutes?" you groaned.

"Jeez, my bad, L/N." Jisung chuckled. "Call me when you can?"

"No, I'm done already." you sighed as you started to dry yourself with the towel. "What do you want?"

"I'm nervous."

Yeah, you and Jisung weren't exactly as hateful towards one another as people thought you were. You hated him, yes, but only because he was an annoying child who would be constantly calling you to talk about anything. Other than that, he was a good friend of yours.

"You've been preparing for a whole ass year, you'll be fine." you softly reassured him.

"I still believe I need more time."

"If you want my opinion, you'll never feel ready. I can assure you that you are more than well-prepared for this position." you said before going back to your room.

"Are you going to be there tomorrow?"

You sighed heavily as you let yourself fall on your bed. "Yeah, but don't expect me to talk to you."

"I know." he said sadly.

There was a pause in the conversation. You took it as an opportunity to change into a more comfortable outfit since you wouldn't be going out until the morning after.

"You still there?" you heard through your phone.

You picked it up again and placed it on your ear. "Yeah."

"I- Do you think it's weird for me to want things to be different?" he breathed out.

You frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You hated me before, right?"

"Yeah..." you trailed off, even more confused. "I still do, honestly."

"Yeah, well not like you used to. And I hated you too."

"Just get to the point." you complained.

"Right." he coughed. "I wish we could have continued what happened last year."

two. - a year ago -

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." you cursed under your breath.

From afar, you saw your sworn enemy, Han Jisung, walk towards the baggage reclaim area, looking around for his own. You put on your sunglasses in hopes he wouldn't notice you. To your luck, he didn't as he seemed more preoccupied with finding his luggage.

You turned on your heels and walked away as fast as you could. In all of the places in the world, he had to be exactly where you were at for your little solo escapade. Add to that it was at the same time. You couldn't go back, this trip had cost you too much already.

"Well, well." you heard from behind. "If this isn't Miss L/N." he said in a cocky voice.

You shut your eyes closed before turning around, coming face to face with the man. "And if this isn't Mr. Too-Much-Ego-For-His-Own-Good." you faked a smile.

"I appreciate your worry about my ego, L/N, but I don't think it is necessary." he smirked at you. "Unless you actually have feelings under that pretty façade of yours."

It was your turn to send him a smirk. "I understand from what you said that you think I am pretty?"

His smile dropped. "You wish, princess."

With that, he left you in the middle of the airport as he headed towards the exit. Calling for a cab, he disappeared moments later. You could finally breathe a little. After making sure he wasn't around anymore, you went ahead yourself to get in a cab. You told the driver the location of the hotel you had reserved at, and it took him no time to drive away from the airport.

When you arrived, he was kind enough to help you with your bags before the valet took you in charge and brought them to your room. He led the way to the suite you had booked and made sure it was to your comfort before leaving. The sunlight was refreshing and the view as well compared to your house in the middle of the city back home. You walked to your balcony to take in the fresh air, letting yourself feel the warm breeze.

"Enjoying the view, L/N?"

Turning your head to your left, your eyes grew wider. This had to be a joke. There was no way he was in the room next to yours.

"Han." you muttered.

"I'm starting to think you are stalking me." he let out a laugh.

Even from his balcony that was a bit afar from yours, you could see the smug look plastered on his face. He was one hell of a jerk to be accusing you of such things, especially considering how much your families were against each other.

"I could say the same about you." you snorted.

"Don't expect this much from me, princess. If I wanted to pay attention to you, I would have done so way before."

How much you hated this pretty face of his. "Sure. Just don't bother my vacation." you huffed.

"You already ruined mine." he shot at you before walking back inside.

You soon did the same and rushed to get your phone, although you had promised yourself to not use it for the next two months of your getaway. In a hurry, you searched up Chan's contact and called him.

"I told you! You didn't even last an hour without your phone." he laughed as he answered.

"Han is here."

Chan said nothing, you could only hear his breath.

"Do you want to know the best?" you continued. "He's in the same fucking hotel in the room next to fucking mine."

"Oh." was all what came out of his mouth.

You grunted. "Thank you for the support, Bang."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but this is kind of a lot to process." he chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, no shit..."

"Look, it can't be that bad! Just ignore him and he'll do the same. You two don't even look at each other during events, you can do the same now."

In a way, Chan was right. How bad could it be if the only thing you would do is go out in the sun and enjoy the beach? Sure, you were staying at the same hotel, but it didn't mean you were going to bump into each other every two seconds.

"Alright, I suppose it could have been worse. He just gets on my nerves so much."

"Ignore him and enjoy your trip, okay? I have to go now, but call me anytime."

"Thank you, Chan."

That night, you opted for having dinner at the restaurant in the lobby. From what you have heard, they served the best beef on Earth and there was no way you would miss your chance to taste it. You dressed in a casual attire, in contrary of your usual blazer you'd wear for work, and didn't even bother to look presentable. On this island in the middle of nowhere, who was going to recognize you anyway? Your cropped top with the skirt you picked definitely weren't going to be much of a problem.

The server offered for you to sit at their bar to taste their cocktails they offered along with the meat. You denied kindly and he assigned you to a single table near the window. From there, you had a perfect view of the sea and the sunset which were simply breathtaking. For the first time since your arrival, you finally felt at ease, which was exactly what you were going for. No stress, no pressure, just calmness.

"I'll have the flank steak with the potatoes, please." you ordered to the waiter, who took your menu after he noted it down.

The meal arrived not too long after. Taking a bite, you hummed from the taste, satisfied with the flavours. This was a perfect scenario; alone in the middle of nowhere eating the best food without anyone to bother you.

"Sorry ma'am." the waiter said, bringing a red drink in his hand. "The gentleman at the bar ordered this for you."

He left it on the table, making you almost blush. Not only was your night already perfect, but you could have your summer love at this instant. Your gaze moved to the counter with anticipation, until your smile was replaced by a glare.

"Are you being for real?" you scoffed, almost not believing what was happening.

"This is the most I have seen you in an entire day, Miss L/N." Han grinned, having the same drink as yours in his hand.

He left some money next to his plate before getting up and taking place on the seat in front of you. Your eyes followed his movements, daggers through them. He looked extremely handsome, more than usual. There was something about him wearing his shirt with a few buttons undone and neat jeans that had some sort of effect on you.

"What do you think you are doing?" you questioned, crossing your arms.

"I paid a beautiful lady a drink, what is so wrong with that?" he smirked.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you chuckled at him. "Are you seriously trying to flirt with someone you cursed at in public for the last month or so?"

He shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip of the red liquor. "This is in no way a professional setting, I'm allowing myself to let it loose. It might be something you should consider doing as well, princess."

"As if." you let out a laugh.

"I'm serious. Other than work, I don't see a reason for hating you at this moment. When you think about it, right now, we are two respectably office workers who are simply on a break on this beautiful island."

A playful smiled appeared on your face slowly. "You are right, Han. Maybe we could put our work aside for the following weeks."

You took this as a way to avoid awkward interactions, but mostly, it would avoid him shooting insults at you for the time being. If you were going to be seeing him regularly, might as well make a truce to be able to enjoy your stay.

"I didn't expect you to be agreeing with me." he tilted his head to the side. "How long are you staying anyway?"

"Two months."

He let out a hum. "Same as me."

"Great." you muttered.

Finally feeling the need of a drink, you took a sip of the one Han bought you. Your stare stayed cold as he observed your gestures. His eyes were almond round, but there was this intimating hint in them that you couldn't quite put a finger on. You were visibly both still on the edge. However, it was somehow more tolerable than usual.

He raised his glass towards you and you copied his move. "What are we toasting for?" you raised an eyebrow.

He grinned at you. "To us, two known rivals who bury the hatchet for two months."

"To us."

Cling.

three. - eleven months and three weeks ago -

The first week had passed by so fast. Although you had planned to do so many things, you had barely gone outside. Unlike what you originally thought, you were not able to get away from work as easily. With a couple of calls here and there, signing documents to confirm shipments and others, you had little time to go out and enjoy the weather.

"What did I tell you?" Chan sighed, video calling you from his office. "I thought this was to forget about work."

"I know, I know." you groaned while rummaging through the clothes you packed. "I promise, today, I'll do nothing else but go to the beach and take a dip in the sea."

"Yeah, if you can find your bathing suit." he held in a laugh as he watched you struggle. "I'd offer to help, but I am eight hours away from you."

"Oh, wow, Channie." you turned to look at your phone. "I didn't know, I'm so glad to know you wanted to help still."

"Drop the attitude." he rolled his eyes. "You should be enjoying the sun instead of talking to me."

"You're my only source of entertainment since I got here, my bad." you held your hands up in defense. "Though I'm sure you have a lot of work right now, so I'll leave you be."

"Good plan. Have a good first day of vacation!" he waved before hanging up, not letting you say it back.

"This asshole." you mumbled to yourself.

Finally getting a hold of your bikini, you changed into it and wore a long summer dress over it so you could easily remove it once at the beach. You packed a tube of sunscreen, sunglasses, sandals, a bottle of water, and a book to spend the time.

You got there in a matter of minutes since your hotel was so close to the shore. There were already a lot of people, but you managed to find a spot a bit further where you could have some peace. There was a long chair installed with a parasol and a small table, so you placed your things, laying them out neatly, before you removed your dress. You were about to put on your sunscreen, until you heard a whistle from your left. Looking for the source of the sound, your eyes laid on a man. He wasn't so old, but he was visibly way older than you.

"Hi, Miss." he presented himself politely. "My name is Ko Sangwook."

"Okay." you said nonchalantly.

"And you are?"

"Annoyed you came here to bother me." you snapped at him. "If your way of flirting is whistling at a woman because you saw her at the beach in a bathing suit, I can understand why you are still looking for someone at your age."

"I-" he started, but you raised your hand up to stop him.

"I came here to relax and enjoy the view, so if you don't mind, it'll be very appreciated if you leave me alone."

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know what you meant." you cut him off again. "But like I said, I'd like to be left alone, thank you."

His shoulders dropped in defeat before he turned on his heels and walked back to where he previously was. Satisfied, you went back to putting on the cream on your arms. As you thought you had finally some tranquility, you heard someone clapping their hands slowly as they approached you. You immediately knew who it was.

"I almost interfered but I might say, you are rather good at handling such situations, L/N." he commented as he continued to clap.

You gave him a polite smile. "I'd usually tell you to fuck off, but in the context of the vacation, I'll gladly thank you."

Han snickered as he approached you. "You are very welcome."

He, himself, was in his swimming shorts with a loose white t-shirt and sunglasses that were pushing his hair back. This was a much different look from what you had seen him wear before and it was surely the first time you noticed the muscles he had through the fabric.

"Did you get here early?" you asked, now rubbing your legs with the cream.

He was checking you out, there was no doubt. However, the attention you were receiving was the least of your worries. Instead, you tried to focus on smoothing the white of the sunscreen.

"No, I got here about fifteen minutes ago. If I'm being honest, Miss L/N, I expected to be crossing your way sooner than today."

"I had issues to attend to." you responded, keeping it brief.

He dared to sit next to you as he saw you struggle to do your shoulders. Taking the tube from your hands, he squirted a certain amount and gave you a look as to ask for your permission. You nodded slowly and he started to rub your back gently, applying where you couldn't reach.

"Let me guess." he continued the conversation. "Work?"

"Precisely." you answered, suddenly not so focused as you felt his hands massage your shoulders. "I couldn't leave the paperwork to the staff, they would have messed it up."

"I see." he hummed.

To your disappointment, he was already done with putting on your sunscreen and he got up, rubbing his hands together with the remaining of it.

"Enjoy your day, princess." he said before he walked the opposite way from you.

You let out a huff, your brain trying to process the last couple of minutes. You shook it off. This was Han being polite, nothing more. Thus, you picked up your book and started to read, a way to change your mind. It didn't work. Your eyes kept drifting to where the blond-haired man was. Now totally shirtless, it was way harder to ignore his figure. One hell of a man he was.

four. - now -

You coughed, not knowing what to respond to him. He seemed to notice your discomfort as he immediately tried to justify himself, although you already knew what he was referring to.

"I mean, back when we could be casual with each other without worrying about... Well, not casual, but at ease?"

"I get it, Jisung." you said, pinching in-between your eyes. "Listen, I'm sure tomorrow will go wonderful for you. This is what you've been working for all of these years, no?"

There was hesitation in his voice as he answered. "It is, you are right."

"Alright... I have to go now, I have a big day tomorrow, and so do you."

"Yeah..." he mumbled. "Thank you, Y/N."

"Good night, Han." you hung up.

Burying your face in your hands, you recalled the previous year. So much had happened since then, you didn't know why you kept secretly befriending the enemy. This was wrong, in all aspects.

"Miss L/N." you heard from your door. "I have your laundry. What do you want me to do with it?"

You opened the door to meet eyes with the sweet Jeongin, your assistant slash butler. "Innie, be casual with me." you chuckled.

"I would but your dad is, like, staring at me." he whispered to you, which made you laugh.

"I'll just take these from you." You then noticed another piece of clothing that did not belong to you while you took the pile of clean shirts from him. "What is this?"

"Ah." he exclaimed before holding it higher for you to see. "Mr. Bang told me about tomorrow, so I thought I could shop something for you. Don't be mad, I just thought you wouldn't have the time."

Analyzing the gown, you grinned from ear to ear. It was a beautiful silk red dress with a long skirt that seemed to be flowing even though the man holding it was barely moving. You noticed it had pockets and it only made you love it even more. If anything, Jeongin had the best taste in terms of clothing.

"It's okay, Jeongin. I love it."

"I knew you would." he smiled with you and gave it to you. "Sleep well." he waved.

"You too."

The next day, you woke up with the worst headache. You would have taken the day off, if it wasn't for the agreement you still had to sign with Chan. The guy forgot to send you the papers, and so had you forgotten to remind him. Both of you were so smart, but when put together, it was a disaster.

You walked in his office, a coffee in hand and eyebags taking half of your face, and then slumped on the chair in front of his desk. He gave you a suspicious look, but didn't bother questioning you when he spotted the box of doughnuts in your other hand.

"Is this for me?" he asked excitedly.

You yawned loudly while nodding your head, dropping the box in front of him. "I got the caramel thingy you love so much."

"You're the best." he smiled at you. "I can't eat them yet, though. We have some stuff to sign, my dear."

With a groan, you grabbed a pen laying on his agenda and straightened your posture, ready to sign. He took out a document out of a file and started to read out the conditions. There were basic ones, such as the percentage of gain for each party and the duration of the contract.

"Yeah, yeah, I know all of this already, we wrote it together." you whined, growing impatient.

"Sorry for following proper protocol, Mrs. I-Am-Still-Asleep." he rolled his eyes at you.

"Headache." you answered. "Where do I sign?"

He pointed you a few places while turning the pages. "And here."

"This feels like I'm committing to a marriage." you grumbled.

He stopped his motion and sent you a glare. "Y/N, please focus."

"Sorry."

You eventually signed everything and Chan made a copy for you. He kept his in a folder before putting it away in his drawer. Business was easy with him, you liked it.

You yawned once more as you put the paper in your briefcase. "My father will be happy this is finally done."

"I suggest you take a nap with some pills before tonight, you don't look too good." he pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Can I just crash on your couch?" you motioned the sofa in the corner of his office.

He shrugged. "Sure, but a heads up, Han is coming in a like thirty minutes."

Your eyes widened. "Uh?"

"We have a couple of things to get cleared up before tonight. It won't be long, I promise. You tolerated him for two months last year, you can handle an hour or so."

Did you handle the two months? You begged to differ.

five. - eleven months ago -

Avoiding Han was easier when going to a different beach, further away from the one next to the hotel. It required you more transport, but the episode of the sunscreen left you traumatized almost. It was primordial for it to not occur again.

However, there was so much you could do to not meet him again. Tonight, the hotel was organizing a night on the beach for dancing and partying. You were still a woman in your 20s, there was no way you would be missing out on this. That also meant Han wasn't going to skip it either.

The moment you stepped foot on the sand, you saw him. He was discussing with a lady at the bar. Dressed in a short-sleeved buttoned shirt that was clearly too loose for him, he matched it with ripped jeans shorts and a silver chain around his neck. The woman with him was the definition of a popular girl you would meet in high school. Blond hair that matched his, bralette that enhanced the forms of her breast and a skin way too perfect to be real.

You had dressed up for the occasion as well. Although you had more self-preservation than her, you had picked a V shaped top with yet another one of your skirts. This one was longer and the fabric flooded perfectly as you walked. You went close to where he was sitting, ordering a margarita for yourself.

"Excuse me for a moment." he said, bowing apologetically to the lady.

Slowly, he made his way to you. You wondered where in this mind of his he thought talking to you was more worth it than speaking with the hot chick he had just abandoned.

"I would have never thought of you as one for the margaritas." he stated when the drink was placed in front of you.

"And I would have never guessed you liked bimbos." you replied with a knowing smile. "Known to break hearts, Han?"

He chuckled as he shook his head. "I used to be a wild teenager, I have to admit that."

"Not a surprise." you shrugged and drank your cocktail.

"How were you?" To this, you frowned at him. "In high school, I mean."

Looking up, you started to roll your memories from then in your head. "More reasonable and responsible than you were, I'd say."

"There is no doubt." he let out a laugh. "You dated Mr. Bang, didn't you?"

You froze at his words. For an instant, he reminded why you hated his family. They would never mind their own business and were constantly asking around for the gossip. This came to their advantage, they were known to expose the fraud within the industry.

"Is this why he's saving your ass from when my father sued yours?"

"Weren't you the one who wanted to bury the hatchet?" you said in a challenging voice.

"My apologies, princess." he snickered. "Curiosity got the best of me."

You turned your attention back on the drink in your hands. "I never dated Chan. I didn't even know him back in high school."

"It doesn't look like your relationship is platonic. I'm sure you are aware of what is said in the medias about the two of you."

You instantly got what he meant by that. "There is no marriage arrangement." you simply replied. "Did it answer your questions?"

"It did." he affirmed, now taking a sip of his own alcoholic liquor.

You considered you'd had enough of the conversation. By then, you had drawn a good image of what the Han family were discussing among themselves, and to no surprise, it was pure bullshit. You chugged the rest of your margarita and the shot of tequila you ordered along with it. Wincing at the strong taste, you put the glass down before walking towards the dance floor. Han stopped you.

Sending him a roll of your eyes, you smacked his hand away from your arm. "Am I not allowed to go have fun? Do I need the permission of the great Han Jisung?"

"I was simply about to ask you to dance with me."

You scoffed. "After your stunt about my personal life? I don't think so."

You found yourself moving along the music alone, soon then joined by another young man. From afar, you saw that Han had gone back to flirting with the big boobed girl from earlier. Good for him, he seemed to be lacking some action. As for the boy dancing with you, he was rather attractive. You grew to learn that his name was Felix and that he came from Australia. He was also a young wealthy man who was looking for a getaway from the toxicity of the business. It seemed to be a common pattern for most people like you.

"I see you know my mate, Jisung." he told you when he brought you afar from the noise, walking along the water.

You glanced back to Han's direction as he was moving with the blondie, her ass grinding on him. "He's nothing more than a mere acquaintance."

"Oh." Felix nodded his head. "I apologize, it seemed like more from where I watched the two of you."

You huffed, not believing a word he was saying. "We're rivals. If anything, I despise him."

He laughed at your words. "Hard feelings?"

You shook your head. "Not him in particular, his family in general." you breathed out before stopping to look at the small waves. "This is beautiful."

"It truly is."

A slight smile crept its way on your mouth. "The stars look like the freckles on your face."

He let out a chuckle. "You're a romantic?"

"When the man who keeps me company is to my liking, yes." you flirted.

This was definitely the alcohol speaking, but Felix was good-looking. You were not going to beat yourself for having an interest in him.

"I take it as in you appreciate my presence." he said in a soft tone, taking a step closer to you.

As he was now hovering you, you felt your heart pounding. "Good assumption." you whispered.

Carefully, he leaned in to meet your lips with his. He was undeniably an excellent kisser and he knew what he was doing. He eventually poked your lips with his tongue, asking for permission to slide it in yours. You let your mouth agape and went on to make out sensually. He slowly moved his hands from your waist to your ass which made you gasp at the contact.

"Sorry." he mumbled.

"Don't be." you breathed out heavily.

You moved your lips down his throat, moving to the muscle in-between his neck and his shoulder. It was his turn to let out a groan, making him grasp tighter on your ass cheeks.

"You want to do this here?" he grunted, still in shock from your sucking on his skin.

"We can take this to my room, unless you can't wait." you said in a moan.

Without another word, he grabbed your hand and ran back to the hotel. On the way there, you exchanged glances with Han. He had the woman all over him, but he didn't seem to enjoy it as much as he should. Instead, his eyes were dark as he followed your figure running to the building. You would have questioned it, but Felix picking you up bridal style quickly shifted your thoughts elsewhere.

When the doors of the elevator closed, Felix's lips were back on yours and his hands were, again, fondling your butt. Too immersed in the moment, you didn't think twice as you removed his shirt. He was stunned by your action, especially because you were still in public technically, but he didn't fight back. Your eyes directly went to his abdominal muscles, leaving your mouth open.

"I think it was a good idea to work out again for my part." he chuckled.

"Definitely."

Next thing you know, you're in your room with an Australian cutie on top of you. It was good, excellent you dared to think, but that was it. A one-night stand, nothing more.

When waking up, you felt horrible for not seeing him more than that. He was even prettier in the sunlight, but it was just that. He slowly woke up, grunting while stretching his arms out.

"Hey." he waved at you cutely. "Good morning."

"Hey." you waved back as you sit up. "Last night was nice." you commented, and he nodded in agreement.

"It was." he said, but seemed hesitant. Lifting his body up to lean on his elbows, he looked at you. "I didn't... feel it, though."

You let out a groan of relief. "Thank God, because me neither."

He laughed. "It was really good, though." he trailed off.

He lifted his hand up to the back of your neck and pulled you close to his face. Kissing him was hot, he didn't leave room for it to be an innocent gesture. He moved slowly to press your body down on the bed as he turned to be on top of you.

"You're so fucking hot." he almost growled.

As you felt him suck in your neck, you moaned at the sensation from the contact. "Same for you." you managed to spill out.

He backed away a little and stared right back into your eyes. "I don't mind keeping contact as a friend, but I'd love if we can keep doing this."

"Agreed." you quickly answered before bringing him back to the crook of your neck, already in need of feeling him.

"Fuck, so eager." he rasped out, leaving a couple of sloppy kisses along your throat. "You're into morning sex, aren't you?

"You talk too much." you groaned, going back to kissing him.

His phone went off. It distracted you for a second, but you rapidly went back to business as Felix started to massage your thigh. He was about to go further, when the ringtone went off again. With a loud sigh, he separated his body from yours and went to pick up his device. Answering, he still kept touching you, leaving you vulnerable in all ways.

"Yes?"

"Felix, I get L/N is hot, but try to keep quiet?" you heard Han say through the phone.

Felix stopped touching you as a frown made its way on his face. "What do you mean?"

"My room is next to hers, I can hear you two fuck."

A blush crept on your cheeks, both from embarrassment and anger. Did he really have the guts to listen to you in such an intimate moment?

"Well, don't listen?" Felix replied in a small voice.

"Trust me, I would, but you two are loud as fuck and the walls are thin like paper."

That meant you would have heard him if he slept with the girl, but you didn't. You couldn't get why this reassured you.

"Alright, sorry." Felix breathed out, passing a hand through his silver locks. "Are you still up for shopping later?"

"Yeah, for sure. Meet me there at 11?"

You looked at the clock and it was already 9.

"Yes. See you there, mate." He hung up and gave you an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry."

You shrugged. "I'm here for another month or so, we can definitely do this again."

He gave you a satisfied smirk. "I'll wait. But for now, how do you feel about working you up a little?"

You huffed. "I'm definitely keeping you around just for that."

Minutes later, you were even more of a mess than the previous night as you let out uncontrollable gasps and moans. Felix did take care of you afterwards, making you a coffee from the machine in the corner of the room.

"You seem to have a lot of experience." you complimented as you took the mug he gave you.

He shook his head. "Not so much, actually. I recently broke up with my now-ex fiancée."

You winced at the thought before drinking your coffee. "I'm so sorry."

"It's nothing. I caught her cheating and it wasn't the first time."

"That's even worse..." you mumbled.

"It is. It sucked a lot. It's one of the reasons why I needed to leave Australia for a bit, change scenery."

"Understandable really." you nodded.

"What about you? How come are you in the middle of nowhere with your hotel suite right next to your so-called enemy?" he questioned.

You rolled your eyes, already annoyed at the simple thought of him. "Pure coincidence, really. We did agree to put all of it aside for the time of the vacation, but he does get on my nerves a lot."

"Jisung can be insufferable, I'll give you that." he laughed. "But he's not that bad. In fact, he might me among the few real people I've met here. And trust me, I've talked to almost everyone in this hotel."

You shook your head while laughing with him. "I have no doubt he is, but we'll never get along. It's like that and always has been."

"If you say so."

six. - ten months and three weeks ago -

You hooked up one more time with Felix before he had to fly back to his home country. Promising each other to keep contact, you watched him leave the hotel after he hugged you tightly.

"Already missing your boo?" Han joked.

He had tagged along with sending Felix off with you, much to your displeasure. This was the first time you saw him again after the party at the beach.

"I'm sure he told you it was purely platonic." you spat out before heading back inside.

"I'm kidding." he said in a much softer tone as he ran to catch up with your speed. "Are you coming to the bonfire tonight?"

You lifted an eyebrow at him. "There is a bonfire?"

"Yeah, another thing the hotel is hosting."

You shrugged your shoulders. "I suppose I can go check it out."

"I'll be there if you want to join me."

You chuckled at him. "If it's to watch you with bimbo girl again, no thanks."

To this, a smirk slowly appeared on his face. "Jealous much, princess?"

You wanted to punch him. "Of course, I would totally be heartbroken to see you rub your dick against a fake booty." you exclaimed in a sarcastic way.

He deadpanned at you. "I get the point, L/N."

"Then you understand I'll most likely not be joining you tonight."

"I'm the only person you know here apart from Felix. And since he just left, you have no other option than sticking with me."

"Logical, indeed." you replied. "Alright, I suppose I could use some company, although I doubt you'll be able to entertain me much, Mr. Han."

"You'll see."

You had finally reached your suites by then. Thus, he walked inside while not forgetting to send a wink your way. You felt your face getting warmer as you went in your own.

With a deep breath to shake it off, you walked to your luggage in order to inspect the few articles of clothing that would be appropriate for tonight. Your dresses were either too tight or you had already wore a couple of them. There was no way you were going to show up in pants. Then, you spotted a pair of short shorts with a tight tank top laying next to it. Your mind worked as it figured if it would be a good outfit as you imagined it with your oversized knitted cardigan. This seemed to work.

A few hours went by and you had chosen to add a few necklaces to add to your look. Boringly staring at the television in front of your bed, you didn't notice it was nearing the start of the bonfire. With a loud pounding at your door, you let out an annoyed grunt before answering and letting the man in.

"You look rather lovely." he commented.

His clothing wasn't different from usual, apart from the sleeveless shirt he had on that made his arms look very fit. His hair was in a messier state that what you had seen before but it fitted him well.

"And you look like some fuckboy." you responded and he huffed at you. "May you lead the way, please?"

"Sure, ma'am."

He didn't wait for you. He didn't even look back at you as he left to head towards the elevator. Not wanting for him to close the doors in your face, you hurried to join him with a little sprint. You truly asked yourself why you hadn't chopped his head yet.

"So courteous of you." you joked, already out of breath from your running.

"I try to be." he said with the same damn smug look he always had on. "Stamina is not your forte?"

"I don't have time for maintaining these types of things."

The elevator opened and, this time, he extended his arm out for you to hold on. Reluctantly, you gripped onto it before he started to walk towards the beach. Well, towards the bar. Now you were really wondering how he hadn't had a harsh hangover yet.

"Shall I buy you a margarita?" he asked as you were getting closer to the barman.

"Sex on the beach."

"Freaky." he hummed, resulting to you giving him a punch on the stomach with your elbow.

He grunted at the contact, but didn't say more. He left you alone as he went to order your drinks. In the meantime, you watched the young adults partying near the already growing fire. You didn't think you would be experiencing something like this again after college, even less after you entered your father's company. Frankly, this was the first time you went to social events like these.

"Here." Han held out the cocktail to you while drinking his own. "I haven't had a sex on the beach in years. You've got good taste, L/N."

You chuckled. "I stick to what I know, that's all." you shrugged.

You began to walk again but in a slower pace to not spill out the liquids in your possession. Much to your excitement, you spotted a group of three men sitting on logs in a small circle as one played the guitar. Not even consulting Han first, you made your way to them. Although your sudden change of direction took him by surprise, he followed you as you greeted the young men.

"Good evening." you waved and one of them smiled at you brightly. "I'm Y/N, and this is my..." you paused for an instant, searching for what you should be calling him.

"We're business partners." Han finished for you. "I'm Han Jisung."

The guy holding the guitar opened his eyes wide at the mention of the name. "As in the future chairman of Han techs?" he questioned, to which Han nodded. "You had a brief time in the music industry, am I wrong?"

This took you by surprise, especially when you saw Han acquiesce. The man, who later introduced himself as Seungmin, told him he followed his platform back then and had been trying to learn the guitar for a while. You watched your companion of the evening sit next to him as he explained the chords and more. You had never seen him speak with such passion, it was almost attractive. The simple fact he knew how the play the guitar would have been good enough for you to be interested if he wasn't Han Jisung.

"And you're Y/N L/N of the L/N Corporation?" the guy sitting next to Seungmin asked.

"That's me." you said before sitting down next to him.

"I'm Changbin, and this is my friend Minho."

You bowed at him as he waved at you kindly. He focused back on watching Seungmin and Han interact.

"I'm surprised to see you with a Han, I thought your families didn't have the greatest relationship." Changbin stated.

"We didn't intend to be coming here at the same time." you briefly explained. "I wouldn't be around him in normal circumstances."

"I believe you, don't worry." he laughed.

"I heard you wanted to release more music." Seungmin said to Han who was the one holding the instrument now.

He chuckled awkwardly as he tuned the strings. "I won't be able to do that anymore."

"Why not?" you asked.

His head shot up to look back at you. There was glistening in his irises, which was probably the reflection of the fire. He sent you a knowing smile.

"Work." he responded simply, his eyes still on you.

It was as if this simple word meant a thousand things. There was something you couldn't understand in his tone, but you got one part right; he gave up music for the company.

"Play something."

Startled by your request, he blinked a couple of times before letting out a quiet cough. "I'm sure I'm rusty."

"Please." Seungmin insisted. "It'd be great to hear you perform acoustically."

Sighing in defeat, he adjusted his posture. Placing his fingers correctly, he frowned as concentration took over. Then, he strummed the strings which left a beautiful sound. It sounded oddly familiar, but you let him play. Just when you thought he couldn't have amazed you more, he started to sing. Now, in a normal context, you'd say you fell in love right there and then. But it's Han Jisung. So, you were being content with simply enjoying the melody for now. He was talented, that was evident, but you would never say it in his face.

He sang the outro of the song with his gaze on yours. He noticed the pink appearing on your face and he didn't want to assume he was the one making you feel like this. Embarrassed, you looked at the bottom of your glass that was already empty. Han ended the song beautifully and the boys clapped their hands.

"Thank you, J.One." Seungmin snickered as he patted Han's back.

It hit you. The familiarity you had with the track was because it was one on your playlist, credited by J.One.

"You're that rapper dude who sometimes sings that I keep hearing on the radio?" you exclaimed in total shock.

As shocked by your words as you were, he nodded. "My father doesn't know. Please, Y/N, I beg you to not tell him."

Y/N... it sounded pretty coming out of his mouth. Without even knowing, you did grow familiar to one another since the beginning of this vacation. It was only a matter of time before you dropped the honorifics, such as calling each other by your last name.

"I won't." you smiled at him.

This was the first genuine smile he got from you that was actually directed to him. His heart skipped a beat. He wished he had seen it before, it made you glow.

"Thank you." he said softly.

As he stared between the two of you, Minho coughed to break the moment. "How about we join the actual party?" he prompted and the others stood up as to agree with his suggestion.

Changbin offered you a hand, but you kindly declined. "Are you sure?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure, thank you. I'll join you all later.'

"If you say so." he shrugged before running to Seungmin and Minho.

Han, however, was still at the same spot on the log with the guitar laying next to him. He watched the gathering around the fire and sighed loudly. You gave him a curious look, but didn't dare to ask what was on his mind. It wasn't your place to do so. As if he would be telling you anyway.

"We have three weeks left." he said no one in particular, his stare still on the dancing people. "It goes by so fast."

"It does." you affirmed. "I can't wait to be back home, though. It can get lonely here."

"I'm here." he pointed out.

"I wouldn't call you an enjoyable presence."

He winced, faking to be hurt by your words. "I can't blame you. Still hurts."

"You'll get over it, whiny boy." you shook your head in exasperation.

Another silence took over. Rather than wanting to shoot yourself for having him around, it almost felt like you were at home. His presence alone, whether you liked it or not, was comforting.

"For real, though." he spoke again. "I don't want to go back."

"Why not?"

He moved his stare towards you. "You know why."

You shrugged. "It was our fate since the day we were born."

"Exactly." he snapped. "All of our life is already planned in every way even before we can speak. I didn't ask to work for my dad, and I surely didn't decide on hating you."

For the first time, you heard him out. You were listening to the real Han Jisung. In a way, you had to agree with him; life within a world like yours wasn't easy. People were expecting so much of you, the pressure was constant. In all honesty, you thought Han was used to this lifestyle and actually enjoyed it. You were proven wrong.

"If I'm being truthful, I would have never hated you in the first place." he continued. "I mean, I have no valid reason."

You felt a lump form in your throat. "You know your father will kill you for even addressing me like this."

"Like what?" he cocked his head to the side.

"So casually..." you murmured.

He laughed a little. "You're quite the only here who can relate to what I'm going through. I'm simply taking the opportunity to rant, that's all."

"We are rivals, Han."

"Jisung."

You blinked twice. "Pardon me?"

"Call me Jisung, please."

You nodded, uncomfortable by his request. "Well, Jisung, while we are at it, should I complain as well?"

He gestured to you. "Be my guest."

"Okay..." you breathed in. "I wish I could hang out with Chan like we used to back in college. Ever since he got to his new role, I barely see him out of his office."

He hummed as you talked. "Right, Bang..." he trailed off. "You really love him, don't you?"

You frowned at him. "He's a close friend, yeah. Probably the only one I have, to be honest."

He broke into laughter. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but this is kind of sad."

"Who are you to say that? The only friend I am aware you have is Felix Lee." you scoffed.

He suddenly went back to his serious face, now sending you a glare. "I hate you."

"Breaking news." you said sarcastically.

"It was a joke." he snorted. "I literally just told you I don't really."

You realized you didn't get that this was what he had insinuated when he said he wouldn't hate you if it wasn't for his family. Thinking about it now, you also couldn't pinpoint a good argument on why you couldn't get along. Frankly, you had every aspect to be bonding: both heirs of grand companies, both pressured by the public, and both on a vacation to run away from it all. Adding the fact he was able to keep your holiday interesting in a way, he was fine really.

"I don't hate you either."

This seemed to take him by surprise. "You don't?"

You shook your head as a no. "I grew up hating your family, I naturally assumed you are as much of an asshole. I mean, you are, but in a nice way."

"Thank you?" he said, sounding more like a question. "I don't agree with most of what they are doing. I would rather be doing my music than working for them."

You chuckled. "I would have never guessed you are J.One."

"Well, I don't go around telling people. I'm surprised Seungmin knew, he must have been following my stuff for a while."

Talking about him, Seungmin had ran back to you. Taking your hands in his, he forced you up to go join the others. You argued you didn't feel like partying, but gave in eventually. Soon after, it was Jisung's turn to get fetched by Minho. Changbin had bought some beers for you all and you jammed to the music as you drank and enjoyed the warmth of the fire. At some point, you didn't notice how, but Jisung was casually swirling you around in a messy manner, the sand not cooperating with the stability of his feet. As for you, you were laughing uncontrollably for pretty much nothing as he kept guiding your body along the beats coming from the speakers. You hadn't had this much fun in a while, it felt amazing.

To your disappointment, the night came to an end. People dispersed on the beach as they regrouped in smaller crowds. Not much dancing was happening. You saw most of them heading back to the hotel, Minho and Seungmin among them. Changbin stayed behind as to make sure you and Jisung were doing okay. The man had one too many drinks, but you were surprisingly able to walk in a straight line still.

"Is he always like this?" Changbin laughed as Han tripped over his own feet again.

"I wouldn't know." you snickered with him. "But I'll have to admit, he's kind of cute being all lost and shit."

"I heard that!" Jisung smirked, now standing.

He clumsily joined you and slumped his arm around your small figure to get some balance. "Easy there." you laughed out.

"I'm fine."

Changbin helped you bring him to his room as you laid him on his bed. He argued with you that he didn't need to be taken care of, but the way he stood on the mattress told you otherwise. You assure Changbin that you could handle him from then on and he left the two of you alone, doubt still plastered on his face.

"Do you need anything?" you asked the drunk man as he attempted to walk up to you.

"I need you with me." he pouted which was too adorable for your liking.

"I'm already here with you."

In response, he grabbed your arm and dragged you to his bed along with him. Though he tried to do it carefully, he pushed you under the convers and tucked you in as if you were a toddler. You didn't fight back.

"I meant to stay with me for tonight." he grinned before going into the blankets next to you. "Do you like Felix?"

The abrupt change of topic caught you by surprise. Slowly, you moved your gaze to him as questions popped in your head. Was he in his right mind?

"I think he's a great guy, yeah." you responded although you were quite lost.

"He was a good fuck?"

You slapped him across his chest. "This is so inappropriate."

He scoffed. "Is it? I heard your moans for hours that night. Consider yourself lucky I only complained once."

"Were you listening all along? You pervert..."

You could not see his face due to the lack of lighting, but you could easily tell he was rolling his eyes at you. "Not intentionally." he sighed. "But quite honestly, I hated hearing you scream his name."

"Was I that annoying?" you joked.

"No, the opposite."

To this, you stood up from the pillow under your head and tried to find his eyes within the darkness. With the little light coming from the moon, you made out his features and saw some sort of sadness. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now.

"Sorry, what?" you whispered.

It was his turn to get up from the mattress until his face was to your level. He put his hand up to your face, hesitant, but placed it to the side of your head in the end.

"If you haven't figured it out yet, L/N..." he started but stop when his breath got caught in his throat.

He was nervous. You could tell.

"What didn't I figure out?" you asked softly.

Your breathing wasn't doing any better than his. It was oddly uneven while you were almost shaking from how vulnerable he made you feel. Stroking the apple of your cheeks, he took a deep breath.

"I like you."

seven. - now -

"A pleasure, Mr. Bang." Han bowed to your friend.

You were still on the couch. While people would immediately think you were napping, you were more awake than ever. The simple sound of his voice was enough to make you fall asleep on a usual basis, but you felt like it could not keep you more conscious at the moment.

"The feeling is reciprocated." Chan bowed as well. "I apologize for Miss L/N sleeping in my office. We had some paperwork this morning and she didn't get much sleep."

Han hummed. "Not surprising considering her reputation."

It stung. Jisung would be the most caring and soft person when you would be alone together. But when put in a situation where a scandal would break if they ever say you interact with your supposed competitor, he was a totally different person. His words were harsh with no feeling. He was like the Han Jisung you used to despise so much.

"What reputation, may I ask?" Chan asked.

"Has she not been seen out with many gentlemen these past few months?"

He was referring to you father's selection of potential husbands he had forced you to go on dates with.

Chan let out an amused chuckle. "You're assuming she spent the night with them?"

"I'm simply talking about what is said."

Chan paused. How much you wished to open your eyes to see how he was reacting.

"Shall we jump to business, Mr. Han?" he changed the subject.

"Right." he coughed. "I apologize."

"I'd have to say congratulations for your new position."

"Thank you very much, I only hope I can be as great of a man as my father was."

"I know the feeling." Chan sighed.

They started to discuss new arrangements and all. You did doze off to sleep eventually, though it took you a while as you were trying to ignore the mixed feelings you had from when Jisung was bad mouthing you. An hour later, Chan woke you up, telling you he was alone now and that you should get home to get ready for the evening.

"Can I crash at your place?" you pouted.

"Y/N..." he said in a stern voice.

"Your bed is much more comfortable!" you argued. "And I don't want to face my dad. I bet he'll be talking to me about the important figures we'll see tonight and I am in no mood to listen to him."

He shook his head. "I have to get ready myself, I'm sorry. I promise I'll be sticking to you like glue for the entire ceremony, though."

"Oof." you made a face. "That's a tough promise you're making there, Mr. Bang. Plus, I know you'll have to speak with Han again. Don't involve me in this."

He let out an exasperate sigh. "What is it with you two? It's as if the hate sky rocked since last summer. What even happened there for you two to be so... disgusted by the other?"

Your mouth went agape. Staring at him blankly, you didn't know what to say. As much as you had tried to hide your relationship that was far from hatred, maybe you had overdone it.

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed again, visibly irritated by your cluelessness. "You know, Y/N. You always talk about him and throw whatever insult that comes to your mind. You didn't even leave just now when I told you he was coming."

Yeah, Chan definitely knew.

"Nothing happened last year."

"Bullshit." he muttered with a 'tsk'.

You got up from the sofa abruptly as you grabbed your purse. "I better get ready."

You stormed out of his office, leaving him no time to stop you from doing so. You felt horrible lying to him like this, but there was no way you were going to let anyone know about you and Jisung. Maybe this was your sign that it was all too risky. You should have done what you told yourself to do when you came back from vacation: stop everything with him. Why did you fall into his trap when he had called you not even 24 hours later while convincing you that it could be a secret?

"Hi, Y/N." Jeongin beamed at you as you arrived home.

"Is my dad here?" you asked, not even having the energy to speak properly to him.

"He left earlier. He went to the convention center in advance."

"Alright." you exhaled. "Want to help me out with getting ready?"

His eyes grew bigger. "I could call Miss Shin instead, no?"

You laughed as he mentioned one of your colleagues. "Jeongin, you're more than capable to help me. I know you like fashion anyway."

"I do..." he confirmed. "But this... it's not very my job to do so."

You rolled your eyes. "You're being dramatic. I'm asking you as a friend."

He ended up agreeing. In your room, he laid out the dress he bought for you on your bed. He asked you to pick out shoes to go along with it while he allowed himself to go through your jewelry box.

"Hoops?" he asked while showing you the pair of earrings. "And this golden chain?"

"Sure." you shrugged. "Do you think I should go with the black heels or the platforms? No, wait. I have these navy ones here." you exclaimed, rummaging through your rack of heels.

"Black ones are fine." he laughed. "I don't think navy matches well with red."

"Good point."

As you picked the shoes and brought them next to the gown, Jeongin spoke again. "I heard you yesterday." You froze in action. "Well, in fact, it was not the first time I heard you discuss with Mr. Han over the phone."

You were fucked.

"As in..." you started but couldn't even finish your sentence properly.

"As in I know you two are faking your little dislike towards each other."

You mentally cursed at yourself for not being careful enough. This only confirmed one thing in your mind: you needed to put an end to this as soon as you could.

"I'll stop this tonight, I swear."

Jeongin chuckled. "I really don't care, Y/N. The past year was the happiest I've ever seen you. If I were you, I wouldn't cut out the only thing that brought me comfort in a really long time."

You bit down your lip, hesitant. "I have to. I'm sure he already got a lot to prove as a new chairman by now. If we keep this going, this will only mark his image for life."

"You do you." he breathed out. "I'm just saying that you do seem fond of him and that it's a shame you'd want to throw it all away."

You didn't say anything. Instead, you picked the dress up and walked to your mirror in the corner of your room. Putting it up in front of your figure, you couldn't help but see yourself dressed like this with Jisung by your side. That would be the perfect picture, if it wasn't for your families. It was an impossible picture.

"Do you want help with your hair?" Jeongin grinned.

eight. - ten months and a week ago -

You cursed in a mumble at the sight of the man. As you were about to turn around to avoid him, he spotted you before you could do anything. Excusing himself to the woman he was already trying to woo, he ran to where you were standing.

"How delightful to see you here." he said cheerfully, panting from his little run.

"The feeling is the same, Mr. Ko." you faked a smile. "I didn't expect to be seeing you again."

"I had to come and apologize about my behaviour the other day. It was grandly inappropriate if me."

"It was." you agreed.

"If you allow me, I'd love to invite you for a drink."

You smiled awkwardly, until you felt a hand come around your waist.

"If she gets a drink tonight, it would be from me solemnly."

Mr. Ko's gaze went straight to Jisung as blush crept on his face. Bowing apologetically to him, he mumbled some sort of excuses before taking off to where he was previously sat at.

"Great, my knight in shining armour." you groaned as you slapped Jisung's hand away from your body. "I had this under control."

"I know, babe, but it was my time to shine." he smirked at you, placing his hand back on you. "Don't act like you didn't like me getting all protective."

"Going on that date with you last week was a mistake." you grumbled before walking away from him.

"Baby." he whined, catching up to you.

"You're such a child."

He grabbed your wrist to stop you and spun you around, your body now clashing to his chest. Before you could process a reaction, his lips found their way to yours as he laid a small peck.

"You love me like that." he said softly.

You slapped his chest and got away from his grip. "I said not in public." you nagged.

He looked around for a moment and pecked your lips again.

"Han Jisung!" you yelled out.

"There is no one."

He was now holding your hand, his thumb rubbing it gently. You scanned your surroundings for a second, and finally gave in as you let him pull you into a loving kiss.

"You do know they use this lobby for wedding ceremonies, right?" he said once he pulled away.

"Already thinking about marrying me?" you perked an eyebrow.

"I told you, princess, I've been in love with you for years."

With a huff, you started to head towards your room, him having abandoned his some days ago. "Yeah, well, keep dreaming. Once we come back home, this arrangement is over."

He shook his head violently. "Stop bringing it up, please."

"We're leaving in a week, Ji." you exhaled in frustration. "We have to face reality."

"Or." he started, taking both of your hands which stopped you from walking. "We could enjoy the remaining time we have together and worry about the rest later?"

You let go of his hands as you rolled your eyes, going straight back to where your room was. He followed behind closely and you let the door open for him to come in as well.

"Y/N, please." he said, closing the door behind him.

Throwing your belongings on the coffee table, you acted as if you were not listening. Turning on the television as you let yourself fall on the couch was his limit. He took the remote from you and aggressively turned off the screen. With a glare, he threw it away next to you before putting his hands on his hips.

"Are you avoiding this conversation?"

You groaned. "I'm not. It's just..." you cut yourself by rubbing your face. "This is messed up."

"I'll give you that." he sighed and went to sit with you. "We can stop if you want."

"I don't want to stop." you admitted. "But that's the issue. I'm simply trying to prepare myself for what's coming."

He put his hand on your thigh as a way to comfort you. "I know it sucks, which is why I'm suggesting we should only enjoy the time we have left as much as we can. Can you do that for me?"

You moved to meet his eyes and they were filled with hope.

When he confessed two weeks ago, you hadn't realized yet how sincere he was. It wasn't easy to perceive considering he had almost passed out after spilling out the words 'I like you'. Still, the morning after, you had the courage to ask him about it and that's when he told you everything. From the first time he saw you and thought you were simply gorgeous to when you defended yourself to the journalists by saying you didn't need your father's help to get to where you were now. He admired your honesty, your journey in your work, but mostly, he admired your sensitivity. He wasn't blind, he saw how you took care of Chan when he became CEO. The man was close to a mental breakdown until you came in with the biggest smile to cheer him up. He loved how unbothered you could be, how brilliant you were, and how you remained respectful to him even with your disagreements.

So seeing him almost sacrifice his career for the sake of being with you even if it meant for only a week or so, you could not resist it. Because, frankly, you had fallen for him as well. For the sensitive and ambitious man you grew to know.

"Okay." you nodded. "We'll worry about after later."

He smiled and brought you closer, kissing you for the hundredth time of the day. Gosh, how you loved the way he kissed you. It was always filled with such care and love, you were wondering how he was even the same man you thought to hate.

"I spotted this karaoke restaurant-bar in the city." he said, still holding you tight.

"What about it?"

"Should we have a date instead of ordering food?"

You looked at him incredulously. "I thought you hated going out."

"I don't mind if I get to treat you some good food."

You slapped his chest once more, a way to hide the blush appearing on your face. "You're so cheesy."

It took you both no time to get ready and dress up for the occasion. Jisung had called a cab so you wouldn't have to walk all the way there. It was crowded, to say the least. It looked like the karaoke had already started as you saw two girls in front of the mic with drinks in their hands. They sang with their tone very off and it wasn't the most pleasing thing to hear when arriving. Jisung tugged your arm and led you to a table a bit further. A waiter came up to you, asking you if you wanted something to drink to start the evening.

"Just a beer is fine." Jisung smiled at him.

"Margarita for me."

He nodded before leaving you with the menus.

"Back at it with the margaritas?" Jisung teased at you.

You shrugged. "Gets me drunk the fastest."

"Go easy on the alcohol tonight."

You frowned. "So you care about my well being?"

"No, I just don't want to deal with your hangover tomorrow." he said with a smug on his face.

"Jerk." you huffed.

When the waiter came back with your drinks, you took the opportunity to order your food as well. It was nothing too extravagant: some fries with chicken. A few people had sung on the stage and you saw a group of girls marking their names on the lineup list. Jisung seemed to notice as he got up and stood behind them. Turning to look at you, you saw the smirk on his face.

"What are you doing?" you mouthed to him.

He only shrugged and turned back his attention on the iPad where you could sign up. He spoke with the man hosting the show for a brief moment and noted down something on the screen. As he walked back to your table, you were shaking your head in exasperation.

"What did you do, now?" you said with a warning tone.

"You'll see, baby." he replied with a wink. "Let's enjoy our food for now."

You dug into your meal, not even caring about your manners anymore as you picked up the chicken drumstick with your hands. Jisung was as messy as you were, chewing on the meat. His cheeks were full, it was adorable. You saw some barbecue sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. Although you knew he was probably going to mock you for it, you grabbed his face with your clean hand and placed a kiss on his lips. Licking the remaining of the sauce, you hummed at the taste.

Meanwhile, Jisung's mind had stopped working. This might had been the hottest thing he'd seen you do, especially since you gave him a flirtish look while your tongue was wiping off the food on your lips.

"Han Jisung and Y/N L/N." the host called out, taking the both of you by surprise.

You rushed to clean up your mouths and hands before walking up to the stage. You knew Jisung was a good singer, but as for you, it was another story. In all honesty, you hadn't sung in years.

"You chose Volcano by J.One." the host read out loud as confusion took place on his face. "Never heard of this one... Oh well, the stage is yours, lovebirds."

You went to look at Jisung in panic, but instead, you came face to face with a microphone that he was holding out to you. You did know the song, you had even added it to your favourites.

"This is like the worst of your songs that you could have picked out." you complained.

"I know, it's a hard one, but I know you have it in your playlist." he said cheekily.

As you were about to protest, the music started to play as the lyrics appeared on the screen in front of you. You couldn't move, taken over by fear and nervousness. But Jisung was doing perfectly fine. He was in his element. As the first verse started, he sang along in a mesmerizing voice. He was simply amazing. You were almost lost in him when he nudged your arm, signaling for you to sing along with him. Even though you were frightened to do so, his presence alone gave you the confidence to bring the mic close to your mouth and sing along with him. You were a little off, but Jisung encouraged you to continue and didn't even bother to correct you. The song came to an end and he did not hesitate before kissing you softly before bringing you into a warm hug.

"You did great, princess." he whispered in your ear.

That night, let's say things got steamy. Walking back clumsily in your room, he was almost biting your lips as the eagerness took over him. With your arms wrapped around his neck, you jumped around his waist while he held you firmly by the thighs. Although you had made out tons of times already, he never wanted to go further, saying he wanted to make it special. Tonight seemed to be it.

"Was it better with Felix?" he rasped out as he walked to your bedroom.

"Jealous, Han?" you snickered at him as he put you down on the edge of the bed carefully.

"I am." he said with confidence. "I'll make you feel good, baby."

"We'll see." you laughed.

To sum it up, he did way better than Felix, even when you thought it would be hard to do so. While Felix was rough, Jisung was careful and liked to build up the tension instead of going straight for it. It was frustrating in a way, but it did make the actual action ten times more worth it.

You woke up in his arms, fully naked, and his eyes were still closed shut. With his lips slightly parted open, he looked like a child taking his nap. Turning around to get a better view of him, it was enough to wake him up. He made a pout with his mouth while opening his eyes in a squint, taken aback from the morning sunlight coming right on his face.

"Rough morning?" you chuckled.

"I don't want to get up." he grumbled and brought you closer to him. "Let's stay in bed today."

"All day?"

"All day." he affirmed before kissing your temple. "Unless you had something else in mind."

"Well, you kind of made me unable to use my legs." you said, recalling the previous night. "Staying in bed it is."

"You asked for it."

nine. - ten months ago -

Six days turned into five, that turned into four, that turned into three, until it got to zero. The day you had tried to ignore for the past week. Your flight wasn't scheduled until the afternoon, so you had plenty of time to pack your baggage. But the morning was rough.

"Coffee or tea?" Jisung asked casually as he stood in front of the counter.

Your lack of answer meant a hundred of things. As he looked up to see you, you were standing in front of the sliding door to the balcony, not moving a bit. He didn't need to ask you what was on your mind, he knew it already. With a loud sigh, he walked up to you and gave you a back-hug as he put his head on your shoulder.

"I'll miss this view." you breathed out. "The water is so pretty."

"It is." he hummed. "I'll make you a tea, okay?" he said and placed a peck on your cheek.

Again, you didn't answer. He let go of you and went ahead with preparing your beverages. Before you noticed time had passed, he was back with a mug that he held out to you. You mouthed a small 'thanks' but didn't take your eyes off the scenery.

"You know we can keep contact, right?" he broke the silence.

You shook your head. "In another life, yes."

It cut right through his heart, you were right. He hated how right you were.

"We could try?"

"Jisung, stop. How would this even work? We get caught once and it'll be enough for us to get disowned." you rationalized. "This sucks, I know, but it's our reality."

"You rather get married off some rich old man?" he joked but it had some truth in it.

"It looks like this is what is waiting for me, yes. Or Chan." you shrugged. "It has been the plan since birth, just like yours to become chairman is."

"I don't want it."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well, do you have a choice? We're stuck in this."

How much he wanted to shut you up and tell you that things could be different. He wanted to beg you to not go back home and run away with him. Your thing lasted barely a month, but it was enough for him to know he wanted you with him, even if it meant to disappoint his family.

"I just wish it was easier."

"I know."

He slowly came closer to you and put his hand on your jaw which made you turn your focus on him. The tears you were holding in were finally streaming down your face as you had eye contact with him. His touch, despite being a simple gesture, made you weak.

"I'm sorry." he almost whispered. "It's my fault we started this while knowing perfectly it couldn't happen."

You nodded slowly. "Yeah, fuck you for that." you chuckled. "I really should have gotten with Felix instead."

He let out a huff. "You're still a pain in the ass."

"Just getting back to my old antics." you shrugged with a smirk appearing through your crying face.

"I see how it is, L/N." he played along. "Is there a way for me to shut that annoying mouth of yours?"

"Just try to make me shut up."

He then kissed you. You started to feel something wet on your cheeks, but it wasn't your own tears. It was him. He was crying. A knot formed in your belly as it started to truly hit how this was the last time you'd be able to kiss him. You hated how easy you fell for him and how cruel the whole situation was. When he backed away, he still leaned his forehead on yours as he plunged his gaze into yours.

"We don't mention this to anyone." he said and you could clearly hear the pain in his voice.

"This never happened." you confirmed.

He gave you a quick peck and let go of you to finish off with packing. You were still standing at the same spot, unable to process fully what was happening. Your mind was elsewhere, too preoccupied with the memories of your vacation with him.

"Can I keep your hoodie?" you blurted out.

He stared at you in confusion. "My big white hoodie? Why?"

"A souvenir I guess?"

His mouth turned into as smile and he grabbed his sweatshirt before throwing it your way. "It looks better on you, anyway."

The way to the airport was silent. In the taxicab, the driver had put some music to fill in the lack of discussion. In a discreet way, Jisung reached his hand out to hold yours and gave it a squeeze. Chills travelled down your body as you fixated your linked fingers. The effect he had on you was insane.

The ride was too quick for your liking as the driver pulled over in front of the airport. He kindly helped the two of you with getting your luggage out of his trunk. Jisung paid him and you were now off to find your flight. Since he had one stop to do for a work meeting in Europe, he wasn't going to be coming back home on the same plane. And so, here came the grand moment you had both dreaded for.

He straightened up his posture to face you properly and an emotionless expression took over. Still, you could tell how much he hated acting like this. You put on the same façade and bowed at him respectfully. You didn't want to take the risk of getting caught by someone.

"I sure hope you have a safe flight, Han."

"I hope the same for you, L/N."

Calling each other like this used to feel normal, but it had become such a foreign thing to do. It felt wrong, impersonal, almost mean. It was weird.

"I'll see you around." you nodded your head at him.

With a hum, he passed by next to you closely to head towards the gate he needed to be at. Even if people would see it as him bumping into you intentionally, he still took the time to briefly catch your hand. You felt something cold land into it. Before you could question him about it, he was already far as he walked quickly away from you. You looked at your hand and saw something shiny dangle. Bringing it close to your face, you saw what he had dropped.

It was a simple golden chain accessorized with a charm: a rose.

ten. - now -

Your father had sent a limousine to come pick you up. Of course, you had to have a grand entrance at the ceremony. There would be journalists and cameras, and so it was primordial for you to be looking at your very best. Jeongin helped you get in the car like a gentleman. You would have asked him to come with you, but the guy did deserve a break. He kissed your cheek goodbye and wished you an enjoyable evening.

When your limousine arrived in front of the convention center, you could already see cameras flashes and microphones being held out towards your direction. Taking a deep breath, your door opened as your driver offered his hand to help you out. You put on a fake smile for the pictures but denied any kind of interviews. You were not in the mood for that. As you entered the building, you were impressed by how Chan's team had decorated the place. It was very formal but it still had a hint of comfort. Before you knew it, your father had spotted you. Welcoming you with arms open, he gave you a small hug.

"Y/N, my dear, I am happy you made it here safely." he grinned. "I would love to present you to someone."

You deadpanned at him. "Another of your potential suitors for me?"

"He is young and vibrant. An excellent businessman for his age, I shall mention."

As you grumbled under your breath in annoyance, your father brought you over to a group of men, all of them wearing a tuxedo. They all looked the same...

Then, you caught a glimpse of a man who was visibly younger than most of them. He stood closely to who you assumed to be his parents as he bowed instinctively to the others. Upon seeing your father, he smiled politely.

"Mr. L/N." he bowed.

"Hi, Mr. Hwang." your father beamed at him. "I found my daughter that I wanted to introduce you to."

You shut your eyes in internal pain. He really had to present you like you were some kind of product to sell? You never liked being your father's pet, even less now that he just wanted to marry you off someone wealthy.

"A pleasure to meet you." Mr. Hwang nodded his head at you. "I'm Hyunjin."

"Nice to meet you." you replied back with a bow. "I believe I saw you in a publicity recently, no?"

He laughed embarrassingly. "Right, I'm a model."

Ah. He was one of those guys.

"I assume you were invited to help with Mr. Bang's publicity team."

"Exactly." he confirmed. "You know the business well."

"I actually am about to become CEO of L/N Corporation."

He bowed again. "I apologize, I really didn't mean it like that, I was simply trying to make the conversation."

You knew he was being honest, he seemed too clueless of a man to be saying such things intentionally. Maybe models weren't as bad as you thought.

"It's okay, really." you chuckled. "Have you met Mr. Bang yet?" He shook his head. "He's a close friend of mine. I can present you to him."

His eyes went wide. "Really?"

His mother nudged his arm for being informal and he coughed shyly as he apologized.

"It's fine, really. Come, I'll introduce you."

You took his hand in yours and led him towards Chan who had a drink with some of his colleagues. He noticed you were approaching him and excused himself to come give you a big hug.

"Well, aren't you pretty today? It's good that you look pleasing to the eye once in a while." he joked.

"Thank you, Chan, really." you grumbled. "Anyway, I wanted you to meet Hwang Hyunjin."

The latter bowed politely to your friend. "Good evening, Mr. Bang. I don't know if you remember me, but I did appear in one of your promotion videos once."

Chan shifted to his professional role and nodded as Hyunjin spoke. "I remember. I even asked one of the leading directors to contact you again."

"Really? I haven't heard from them."

You left them at it and walked back to your father who had ended up flirting with one of the ladies from the Bang's engineer team. You understood that he might need someone ever since your mom left, but did he really have to do it during an event like this?"

"Father." you interrupted him and he glared at you.

"Aren't you with Mr. Hwang?"

"I offered to introduce him to Mr. Bang."

He sighed in disappointment. "Alright, maybe Hwang wasn't the right fit." He put his hand on your back and started to walk closer to the bar. "I have someone else I want you to meet."

"Yay." you said in a bored tone. "I think I can pass for this one-"

"Mr. Lee!" you father called out. "May I present to you my daughter."

Mr. Lee turned around at the mention of his name and his eyes fell upon your figure. Immediately, the both of you stared back at each other in pure shock.

"Y/N!" he exclaimed.

"Felix!" you said in the same tone of voice.

He pulled you into a tight hug, leaving your poor father in confusion. "You know each other..." he trailed off.

"Mr. L/N, I met your daughter during her vacation last year."

You dad nodded his head slowly. "I see. I will leave you two reconnect. Call me if you need anything." he said as he put his hand on your shoulder for a brief moment.

As he walked away from you two, you exchanged laughs. "What a coincidence! How is it that you are here and not in Australia?" you questioned him while he offered you a glass of champagne.

"I'm here to do business with Chan. I didn't know you were familiar with him."

"We are literally best friends." you chuckled. "How do you know him?"

"I'm sure he told you he grew up in Australia." You nodded. "We used to be neighbours."

"Wow." you let out in a breath. "Such a small world, uh?"

"It is." he laughed. "Your father is quite a persona. He was bragging about you for a solid ten minutes earlier."

"Oh gosh." you said while hiding your face in embarrassment.

"Yeah, he wasn't being very subtle about his intentions. Let me reassure you right away, I won't ask you to marry me. We already established how we feel about that last year."

You smiled at him. "Thank you, Felix. I'm glad I don't have Chan as my only friend tonight."

He shrugged. "There is Han too." he pointed to nowhere in particular. "I saw him earlier."

You huffed in disgust. "I don't intend to speak with him."

He gave you a soft smile. "Quit it, Y/N. I know about you two."

Your eyes grew bigger and you nudged his arm. "Say it louder... How the hell do you know?"

"Jisung isn't so good with handling these kinds of things on his own. Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone and I think I'm the only one who's aware of what happened."

You were going to snap at Jisung, that was for sure.

"Great..." you muttered under your breath.

"You do realize how in love he is with you, right?" he asked before taking a sip of his champagne.

"Yes, I'm well aware of it. It can't happen, though. There is too much to risk if it gets out in the news."

"Did you know he refused to take his father's spot?"

You almost choked on your drink. You were certain to have heard correctly back in Chan's office that he did, in fact, get the position. What was Felix even saying?

"He did what now?"

Felix couldn't answer. Your dear best friend had to interrupt your conversation as he took the spot on stage with a microphone. He started to thank the guests for coming and explained the purpose of this gathering. You were not listening one bit. Instead, your eyes wandered around the crowd as you tried to find the one man who had taken such a huge part of your life. Then, you spotted him. Close to the stage, he was next to his father as he was listening attentively to Chan. He looked extremely good, and he was matching you. Dressed in a burgundy red suit with a tie of the same colour, you wanted to curse Jeongin for having chosen your dress. He surely knew Jisung was going to wear something similar. It was as if he knew you were staring when his own gaze found yours. He sent a quick smile your way, one so darn adorable that it could make you melt, and turned his attention back to Chan. You needed to speak with him, and fast.

The second after Chan finished his speech, you excused yourself to Felix and went straight ahead towards Jisung. The latter had left his family and was looking at the pamphlet of the new Bang inc. projects instead. He didn't even see you arrive until you grabbed him by the arm harshly, dragging him behind as you headed towards a random hallway where you could discuss privately. He started to let out incoherent complaints but you ignored him. You soon found an empty conference room and shoved him inside, not forgetting to lock the door behind you and close the curtains.

"Y/N, the fuck?" he exclaimed.

"I could ask you the same." you said angrily, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

You saw him stare up and down at you. He really had the guts to check you out while you were beyond furious with him.

"Han Jisung." you yelled out sternly and he jumped a little.

"What is it?" he asked innocently.

"Why am I hearing that you refused your position as chairman of Han technologies?"

Oh. It suddenly clicked in his mind. He had planned to tell you himself, but things didn't go his way.

"I'm resigning from the company."

You stared at him blankly. "Sorry, what?" you asked, completely bewildered by his statement.

"I refused to sign the contract this morning and I'm getting off duties by the end of the month." he said calmly. "It was too much for me."

You shook your head in disbelief. "You can't do that. Jisung, we talked about this before. This is your whole career, why did you-" you cut yourself off, too shaken up by his announcement. "Have you thought this out?"

"I did." he said with an elongated breath. "My dad discovered my music not so long ago and we argued a bit about it."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

He ignored your question. "He ended up being quite okay with it. He said he didn't realize how much pressure he was putting on me and that I could do what I want as long as it pays off my bills. Plus, he said I could always come back if it doesn't work." he shrugged.

"Wow." was the the only thing you could say. "He really said that?"

He laughed. "Not exactly, my mom is the one I have to thank for that, she talked him through it."

"Makes more sense." you hummed.

"I also told them about you."

Now, you really wanted to punch him in the balls right there and then.

"Just like you told Felix?" you huffed.

"And Chan... and Jeongin..." he saw how you were about to beat the shit out of him and he held up his hands in defense. "They figured it out by themselves, I simply confirmed their suspicions."

You rolled your eyes. "Is this why he bought me this dress to be matching with you?"

He smirked and nodded proudly. You sighed in disbelief and sat down on one of the chairs, gesturing for him to continue.

"I think you know it by now, but I'm so hopelessly in love with you."

You grunted, absolutely enraged by his behaviour. You could simply not believe how dumb of him it was to give up such an opportunity, and then tell your friends about your mistake of the previous year. And now, he really had to top it all with declaring his love for you?

"You keep being fucking unrealistic with this whole thing." you said, shaking your head in disapproval. "We have decades of rivalry between us, we were only being stupid with what we did."

He scoffed. "So last year meant nothing to you?"

"What I'm saying is that it was something that shouldn't have happened. I wanted to put a stop to it tonight." you affirmed but he didn't seem convinced.

"You're wearing the necklace." he pointed to the rose charm hanging around your neck.

You shrugged. "It was going well with the dress, that's all."

"It does, and you simply look stunning tonight." he said as he walked closer to you.

You stood up to come face to face with him. "Don't dodge the subject with your flirts, Han."

"What is stopping us, really? A career? I've already given up mine and I know for a fact that you hate your job." he said softly, getting more and more close to you.

"Our families-" you started but he interrupted you with a laugh.

"You hate your dad and I've talked to mine already. It's okay."

He hesitated, but reached his hand up to your face. By then, you didn't even know how to breathe anymore. It was the first time he touched you so intimately since that moment in the taxicab. It was as electrifying as you remembered.

"Please tell me you feel the same." he said in a whisper. "There was not a single moment where I didn't regret not trying to convince to run away with me."

"Jisung..." you breathed out.

"I won't force you into anything. If wanting to put an end to this is what you want, we'll do just that. I won't say I didn't try at least."

Your faces were millimeters apart. It was a question of time before he was going to kiss you. But you backed away.

"We can't."

And just like that, you ran away from him, leaving him alone in the room. You didn't know exactly why you did so. No matter what the reason was, you just wanted to go home. The rollercoaster he caused was too much to bear with. You didn't even say bye to Chan and you left.

The driver was still in the street, so you called him out and asked him to bring you home. He did look at you suspiciously, but obliged nonetheless. Before you knew it, you were at your front porch and the driver left you alone. You sat down, not even trying to keep your dress clean, and you cried. You weren't sad nor happy, just confused. It was a few minutes after when Jeongin joined you and engulfed you in a hug. He didn't ask what happened, but he just knew you needed someone for you at least.

"I should have said congratulations to Chan at least." you finally spoke and Jeongin allowed himself to let out a small chuckle.

"He knows you're proud of him already."

"Yeah, but it's still shitty of me." you sobbed. "And, Innie, I fucked up so bad..."

"You dumped him there, didn't you?"

Damn, this kid was good at guessing. But he did know most things about you so it was only natural he got you right on that.

"I don't even know why..." you groaned as more tears came out. "He's so... ugh, and I'm like... meh."

He cocked his head to the side, unsure if he understood what you meant. "That's a way to put it I guess?"

"I meant that he just does so much for our... whatever we have, to work out and I'm being a bitch by ditching him."

He smiled awkwardly. "I can't say you're wrong with this one."

"And what am I even going to do if this turns out to be a fiasco? I'll get fired, my dad will disown me, and I'll live off an underground musician's income?"

Jeongin winced at your reflection. "You're overthinking now..."

"I know." you grunted. "It's just... What do I do?"

You turned to look at him properly and noticed how discouraged he seemed to be with you. As you thought, he gave you a look.

"What?" you sighed.

"You know what to do, Y/N. You're just afraid." he explained but you didn't quite get it. "You've been this perfect daughter for years and you're scared of change."

"I mean, aren't we all?"

"Some are more daring than others, just like Han dared to confront his parents because he loves you."

As realization slowly crept in your mind, you buried yourself in your arms. Why did you have to be such an ass to him?

"You're saying I should go back and say I want him too?" you mumbled.

"Essentially, yeah. But like I said, you do you." he said as he patted your back. "No matter what you do, I'm sure Han will understand."

"Do you mind driving me back?" you said as you shot your head up, pouting at him.

He deadpanned at you. "You came all the way back here just to go back?"

"Yeah?" you chuckled embarrassingly.

"Alright, but go clean up your face. Your mascara didn't hold up right."

A few minutes later, you were in Jeongin's car as he drove you back to the convention center. To not cause a fuss, he went all around to the back of the building so you could walk in more discreetly.

"What if he left too?" you said in panic as you were about to leave the vehicle.

"Jeez, Y/N, just go!" he rushed you out.

You entered and arrived in an empty hallway, not creepy at all. Still, you could hear the chatter coming from the main event so you simply followed it. On your way, you came to the washrooms and heard moaning from there.

"Gross." you mumbled to yourself.

Moving on, you started to get more familiar to your surroundings when you saw the room where you had left Jisung earlier. Only now, the door was open and the lights turned off which meant he had gone back to the party probably. You finally arrived to the main room and noticed that Chan was just done with introducing his new line of products. You clapped along with the crowd and cheered loudly. He recognized your voice as he immediately moved his eyes to where you were standing. With a large grin, he thanked the audience once more and came down to crush you in a hug.

"How did I do?" he asked.

"Great..." you trailed off and he gave you a look.

"You didn't watch, right?"

"I'm sorry, Chan." you chuckled. "I... kind of ran away?"

He rolled his eyes. "Han Jisung?"

"Why the hell is everyone aware of my business?" you whined.

"He came to talk to me after you left. He's alone at the bar if you are looking for him." he laughed. "Go get your man, bestie." he said jokingly.

"I'll have to talk to you after we sort this out." you said in a warning voice before leaving to go to the bar.

When you finally got to him, you kept a distance to observe what state he was in. Hair disheveled, tie loosened, he was mixing his margarita with a straw and started blankly in the void. You felt bad, even worse than you expected.

"I would have never thought of you as one for the margaritas." you spoke up.

At the sound of your voice, he looked around in confusion until he noticed you were standing behind him. He shook his head as a chuckle left his mouth.

"Are you quoting me now?"

You took the spot next to him and stole the drink from his grip. "Perhaps I am." you shrugged and then took a sip of the drink. "I like the ones from the island better."

"So picky." he huffed. "I'm sorry for being so bold earlier."

You shook your head violently. "Stop, I'm the one at fault."

He tilted his head from side to side. "Not really. I can't blame you for not wanting the same thing as me."

"But that's the thing..." you said before taking a deep breath. "I want the same thing as you."

He stared at you for a moment. The lack of response on his part quite frightened you. After a bit, he finally moved as he placed his hand on your forehead.

"Are you okay?"

Frowning, you looked at him, perplexed. "I am..."

He retrieved his hand away. "You're being for real? Don't give me false hope, I swear I'll axe you if you do so."

You laughed. "I'm serious. Look, Jisung, I haven't been fair to you."

He shook his head as he took your face by the jaw. "Don't say that."

"You know I'm right. I led you on, kept denying your attention and I literally ran away from you." you listed out. "I think I'm in love with you too. I was just stupid enough to never admit it to myself."

You had never seen him smile this much. "You're fucking stubborn, yeah." he grinned. "But I love that about you. Plus, playing hard to get is quite attractive."

You scoffed. "Fuck off, I'll go back to Felix."

You were about to walk away but he grabbed you by the wrist to stop you. Gently, he pulled you closer by the neck and kissed you. He. Kissed. You. In front of literally everyone. You heard gasps of shock, but surprisingly, you didn't care. All that mattered was that you had your lips on Jisung again. The butterflies you had suppressed for months had come back at an overwhelming level but you were happy.

"Y/N L/N!" you heard your father yell.

Separating yourself from Jisung, you rolled your eyes as you came face to face with a furious man.

"Hey." you smiled in an exaggerated manner.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do, young lady. I made sure during your whole life you'd be ready to take over my place, and you're pulling this show tonight?"

You let out a groan. "Really? A show? I get you have built a reputation and shit for years, but for what? Really, come to think of it, this whole rivalry thing is ridiculous. Yeah, sure, they sued us, but heck, we got over it."

He huffed in disbelief. "It had to be a Han, uh?"

Dropping your shoulders, you didn't even know what to say anymore. "He's not like that. You know what? I don't even know why I'm fighting you over this." you started to get annoyed.

"It's okay, Y/N-" Jisung started, but you went off again which interrupted him.

"No, Jisung, this is not okay. I've done literally everything to go according to this man's expectations and I can't even be happy for one moment?"

By then, more people had gathered around the scene. Some of them whispered among themselves, others just watched in pure shock. Then, Jisung's parents arrived and stood next to your dad. This was going so well...

"You two are okay with this?" you father asked the Han.

Jisung's mother simply shrugged. "I mean, she seems to make our son happy." she said in a small voice making your father turn to Mr. Han to incite him to speak his thoughts out.

He did the same as his wife, not sure on what to answer. "I'd have to say, Mr. L/N, that your daughter is quite a remarkable woman. I think our son is in good hands."

"I agree." you heard Chan speak up somewhere in the crowd. You finally spotted him and sent him a look as to ask what he was doing. "I think it is time to tone down the hard feelings in my opinion, Mr. L/N." he patted your father's back.

"Chan-" Jisung started but the glare he received from him shut him up real quick.

"I think this is a good way to put an end to this competition between your families, no? Anyhow, I think they make a fine couple." he continued and then held his glass up. "How about we go on with our evening?"

Chan had power, which meant everyone were taking his opinion into consideration. If he said something was fine, it meant it was fine. If he wanted to move on from something, then people moved on. This was exactly what happened. As the mass of people dispersed themselves, you saw your dad walk further away with Jisung's parents, seemingly discussing about what they just saw. As for Chan, he joined the pair of you.

"That's quite a show stealer you put up just now." he laughed.

"Thank you, Chan." you said sincerely.

Jisung rubbed your back gently as he nodded with you. "Yeah, thank you for that."

Chan shrugged. "I'm rooting for you two, but don't put yourselves in trouble too much because I can't save you all the time."

"We won't." Jisung said as he looked at you. "I think we can manage from now."

eleven. - epilogue -

"Time's up."

Looking up from your laptop, you had daggers in your eyes as you stared at Jisung through your glasses. He was already fully dressed with black pants and a beige coat as he tapped his foot on the floor in an impatient way.

"I'm almost done." you said as you focused back on your screen.

He let out a groan. "Y/N, love."

"It won't take long." you argued, not taking your eyes off as you typed aggressively on your keyboard.

"You said the same thing ten minutes ago and we have a flight in..." he checked the time on his phone. "two hours now." he deadpanned at you.

"I just have to send this to Chan real quick."

"Exactly, it's Chan so no pressure."

He came to your dining table and snatched your computer away from you. While you reached out to get it back, he saved your file and closed it off before putting it in his bag.

"Han Jisung." you said in a stern voice.

"Thank me later, baby." he kissed your cheek but you refused to fall for it.

"I have to send it over."

"I know, love, but Jeongin had this handled, no? Just trust him on this one."

Still pouting, you took your coat and put it on before grabbing your luggage. "I shouldn't have agreed to go on this stupid trip."

"Don't be like this, you love seeing Felix." he snickered.

"I don't mind going to Australia." you argued as you approached the front door of your house. "I mind not getting my work done in time."

"Love, you're literally weeks ahead for everything." he sighed loudly.

You walked to your car and started to load it with your bags. While Jisung went back inside to get more of your belongings, you received a call. Putting the phone between your ear and your shoulder, you answered.

"What's up, Hyunjin?" you said cheerfully.

"Someone's in a good mood." he laughed. "I take it that you're leaving soon?"

"Yeah, we're about to go to the airport. How is it there?"

"I love it, really. Felix rented a house for us so we can all stay together." he said excitedly. "I was calling to ask you something about the report you filled out this morning, actually."

You frowned. "What about it?"

"Why didn't you mark Jisung's name? For the collaborator, I mean."

You grunted. "Shit, I totally forgot. I'm sorry, I'm still not used to him being back in the business."

"All good." he chuckled. "Though I need it by the end of the week. Otherwise, my application can be denied."

"I know, I'll do it as soon as I get there."

Jisung looked at you curiously as he stood next to the car with the door opened, waiting for you to be done.

"No stress." Hyunjin answered.

"I have to go now, but I can't wait to see you two!"

"See you in a few hours!"

Hanging up, you and Jisung got in the car and he drove away from your house. As you hummed along the music, you suddenly remembered something. Turning the volume down, you looked at your fiancé in panic.

"Tell me you locked the door."

He rolled his eyes. "I did, stop being so stressed."

"I'm sorry, jeez." you said in a defensive tone.

"This trip is for us to take a break from work, just like the good old days. Relax a little, can you do that for me?"

You absolutely hated it when he used his soft loving tone. You could simply not resist it. With a sigh, you nodded your head and you grabbed his hand that was hanging between your two seats.

"You're right."

He smiled and started to play with your hand, fiddling with your engagement ring. "Plus, we get to visit the venue for the wedding." he said before kissing your hand.

"Felix better had chosen a good spot." you huffed.

"If you don't like it, we can visit some more." he shrugged.

You shook your head as a no. "I just want a place to marry you."

"You're sweet, baby, but I don't want to get married in a wrecked place." he laughed.

"Fair enough."

You said that, but in all honesty, you just wanted to marry him right away. Him. The man you believed to hate until he turned your world upside down. The man who was ready to give up everything just to be with you. If this is not husband material, you don't know what it is. But one thing for sure, you wanted to be with him for the rest of your life.

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisboredd | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy | @lethallyprotected

[perceivedregret]

just a (long) snippet of pt 19 of so it goes, my vampire!steve au where blood sucking happens and human!eddie kinda maybe sorta doesn't mind it much. part one and the link to my ao3 in my pinned if youre interested ♡

Steve shifts uncomfortably, feeling heavy, like he’s drugged out on Hawthorne. Since he passed the threshold, something has changed in the air, but he can't figure out what, just knows he would do well to get out of here before he does something stupid. He shakes his head, hopes it'll clear it. It doesn't, so he sighs. “Well, thanks but uh, I should–”

“Do you want a smoke?” Eddie interrupts, his hands procuring a box of cigarettes from his pocket.

The thing is, Steve really shouldn’t stay.

He shouldn’t stay because his gums are starting to ache and he has a migraine behind his eyes beginning to form. He should be getting in his car, he should be driving away, should be getting back to putting as much space as possible between himself and Eddie Munson, the man he’s supposed to hate, the same man he's kissed while sipping his blood.

Except he doesn’t and instead he mutters: “Sure, I could use a smoke.” Eddie grins a languid thing, one that sends a shot of ice down Steve's spine. And with that smile he continues to surprise Steve. He doesn't go out the front door as Steve expected. Instead, he shuts the door and walks past Steve, past the kitchen, and back into a room. Steve follows and comes up short when he realizes this is his room.

Eddie is already lighting his smoke when he turns, catching Steve stuck at the edge of his door. He exhales, smoke spreading across the room.

“Am I supposed to invite you into every room?” he asks, sitting along the edge of his bed, offering Steve a butt from his case. Steve struggles with a breath as he crosses the threshold and takes the offered cig.

“No, no,” Steve says, lowering his head as Eddie offers a light, thanking him silently once the cooling burn of smoke fills his lungs. He exhales, adds to the billow of rising smoke. “I just thought we’d take it outside, or something.”

“Well, I hope 'or something' is good enough. I um." Eddie shifts, moves until he's as close to the edge as he can be without being off his bed, leg bouncing almost erratically. He clears his throat. "I actually wanted to talk to you. To ask you some things," Eddie mumbles. He takes another inhale, exhales in the general direction of Steve. Steve suddenly really regrets agreeing to stay, the smoke doing barely anything to dampen the smell of his blood on his breath.

“What um… sure, what's up?” Steve stutters, nearly fumbling his smoke.

"How did you die?" Eddie asks, relaxing back into his bed, hair sprawled out in a halo around his head.

Steve takes a sharp inhale of smoke as he remembers the night. "A girl named Heather. The same one who turned Chrissy, she uh, snapped my neck. It's her go to move, I guess."

"Is that how..." Eddie doesn't finish it but Steve knows he's talking about Chrissy.

"Yeah."

"Hm. Did it hurt?"

Steve sways his head as he considers how to answer, knows he's really asking for Chrissy. "Kinda, yes? But also, no. It was quick. It's like I went to sleep and had that dream where it feels like you're falling out of bed and suddenly it's like all the air was knocked out of my lungs when I first woke up. After that, the first breath, it's always the hardest when you come back."

"Hardest when you come back after that? What do you mean, do you have to die more than once to turn?"

Steve laughs as he scratches absentmindedly along his cheek. "No no, not to turn, but we can still technically die again after we've changed. I've uhh, had my neck snapped a few times in the past to get, uh, subdued. Hurts like a bitch for second but again, it's over so quick it kinda doesn't matter. We can't die that easily. We can only be killed by fire of the sun, a stake to the chest, decap-" Steve motions towards his head with a click of his teeth, "-or having our hearts ripped out."

Eddie whistles, smoke escaping his lips with the sound. "Ouch."

"Yeah." Steve takes another drag, adding to the fog that surrounds them. "So, what else do you want to know?"

Eddie takes a deep breath and Steve tenses as he says-

“You kissed me and I want to know why.”

A swallow gets caught in Steve’s throat, his mouth suddenly dry as his attention snaps back from the haze that threatens to take him. “What?”

Eddie waves him off. “Okay, ya know what, we can skip that for now. Did you mean to hit me?”

Steve scoffs, taking a step forward. “Of course not.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“It was an accident,” Steve nearly shouts. “I didn’t mean to, man, but you cornered me.”

Eddie hums, shifting his weight as he seems to build himself up to ask- “Was the kiss also an accident?”

“No.” Steve says it faster than his mind can process the question. No? What do you mean no, Harrington? he thinks to himself. “I mean yes. I mean, I- I don’t know. No?”

“Then why’d you do it?”

Steve balks. “You were bleeding, alright, and I'm a vampire! You were bleeding and it was an accident. You cornered me, okay and well, I– you, you.” Steve snaps his fingers as the first coherent thought forms. “Okay, well, why did you follow me in there to begin with? None of that would have happened if you didn’t go in there.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie mutters quietly, his cigarette already nearing its end.

“What do you mean you don’t know, you’re the entire reason it happened.” Steve’s own cig sits half abandoned between his fingers, his mind and heart racing. Why did I stay? he thinks.

“I don’t know.” Eddie stands up and Steve nearly jumps out of his skin. The air has shifted yet again. He didn’t realize how close in proximity he was to Eddie until he stood and their noses nearly touched. Eddie puts out the butt of his cigarette and takes Steve’s, his officially abandoned.

“What, man, do I scare you?” Eddie muses, a quirk of his lips that makes his dimples show.

“A little,” Steve breathes, surprised by his own honesty. It surprises Eddie as well, if his raised eyebrows are anything to go by. “I mean, no, it's.... I'm not really scared of you, just like. I guess scared of what I can do to you, if that makes sense.”

“Like what,” Eddie breathes, stepping closer, closer again, close enough to crowd Steve’s space. Steve swallows on nothing as he stumbles into a dresser, fingers grasped tightly along the edges of it. Eddie continues to crowd in, until he’s too close. "What are you scared of doing to me?” Eddie murmurs, eyes flashing down once to Steve’s lips.

The air is suffocating.

“You should be the one scared of me,” Steve says quietly, seems to have unconsciously leaned forward because he’s suddenly breathing the same air as Eddie, his scent, his entire being. Ever since he’s had a taste he’s been craving him and right now it's the hardest it's ever been to resist.

Why didn’t I leave, he thinks again. His throat is on fire, burning as the scent of Eddie’s blood fills his head. His thinks about his last drink, which was Eddie, and how sweet and this side of intoxicating it had been.

How Eddie's lips felt while he drank his blood.

“What are you doing,” Steve breathes, Eddie's hands heavy searing brands on his waist.

“I don’t know.” Eddie breathes back, and suddenly he’s kissing Steve Harrington....

read the rest and the start on my ao3

[w2soneshots]

Friends? -W2S

words: 1.3k+

warnings: angst with a happy ending, mention of a break up, friends with benefits. (I think that’s it?)

summary: you and Harry start a new relationship but he breaks your heart.

Liked by wrotoshaw and 461,093 others

y/username: my weekend❤️ @wrotoshaw @miniminter

-comments-

taliamar: stunning😍😍

-> y/username: me or @miniminter ??

miniminter: I look like a neek

y/nfanpage21: the shoes🔥🤍

user85358013: Is she on a date with Harry!??🫢

-> user91245750: no you can see other people there.

I've been best friends with Simon for as long as I can remember. We hit it off during school, I supported him when he first started YouTube, I introduced him and Talia and have always been the one person he actually talks to about things. Simon is a surprisingly closed off person, so when he cried into my arms because him and Talia were struggling I knew I'd finally broken down that wall.

When he began the Sidemen channel and moved into the house he shared with Vik, Josh and JJ we grew apart slightly. He was so busy: constantly streaming, making videos, editing those videos and his sleep schedule was royally fucked up. He had no time to hang out or even give me a call. But once he met Talia it began to change and I quickly found myself back in his life like nothing had happened.

I soon became good friends with the rest of the boys as I came around to the house more. I especially enjoyed Harry's company, he's funny, slightly awkward until you get to know him and he's very fit (which helps). As the years went by our friendships became stronger even as people began building their own lives with girlfriends, pets and even kids.

Almost 2 months ago while on a night out me and Harry got a little closer than friends should be... aka we fucked. The next morning I woke up next to him in my bed and slightly freaked out. But after that night it happened again and again until one morning as we sat lying next to each other, my head resting on his sheet covered chest we decided we were labelled as friends with benefits. I wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea but what else could I do? Tell him I was sorta starting to catch feelings... no way.

Another 2 months later... we have now been fucking, whenever one of us needed a release after a long day or just someone to hold them while they drifted off to sleep, for around four months. One day I woke up to a phone call from Simon. Me and Simon tell each other everything, we always try and find the time for a phone call at the end of the day or whenever anything big happens the other person is always one of the first to know. So it was no surprise he was very aware of mine and Harry's... situation. I answered the call "hello?" I said groggily through the phone. "Hey y/n... Harry-" he said hesitantly. "What about Harry?" I asked slightly pissed off that I was woken up from my deep sleep.

"His ex... she's back." he said. I was quiet for a second. Harry's ex abruptly up and left him almost a year and a half ago. She didn't give him a proper reason and he was left broken. "What do you mean she's back? Does Harry know?" I asked rapidly. "Woah woah, yes he knows... he told me he's getting back with her." he said the last part with pity in his voice. I felt as though all of the air in my lungs disappeared along with the oxygen in my bedroom. I blinked and a single tear rolled down my cheek. "y/n?" Simon said softly. I glanced down to my phone and clicked the red decline button.

As soon as I put the phone down I burst into tears. In that moment I knew I'd fallen hard for Harry Lewis. I was so confused on how he could completely disregard the past few months with me and get back together with the person who left him broken for everyone else to pick up the pieces. Almost an hour later there was a knock on my door. I signed and stood from my bed. Once I got to my front door I cracked it open to see Simon and Talia stood there. Talia also knew about me and Harry since she caught us making out in the back of a club so I told her the rest.

Simon opened his arms and I fell into them and began sobbing again. I broke away a minute later once I calmed down. Talia gently rubbed circles with her hands on my back as we sat on the couch. "How could he get back with her after what she did to him?" I said quietly. Simon spoke up "he told Behz that she just got scared of how serious they were getting so left, but I'm not one hundred percent sure about that." I looked up "he could have at least told me before I had to find out from you." I said fiddling with my hands. "I'm sure he just didn't want to hurt you." Talia said trying to think of any positive. "I would have found out ether way." I said.

They left soon after and I sat holding myself on my couch while I watched a movie. Then when 5 o'clock hit I ordered myself a Nando's, ate it and fell asleep on the couch. The next morning I woke up and took a long hot shower, got dressed into a sweat set and left my apartment.

I got the lift down into the car garage below my building and found my car. I hopped in and drove to Boots to pick up my click and collect package. After I picked that up I decided to go to Asda to pick up some stuff since I was in need of a food shop. I was wondering down the isles when I got a phone call from Faith... "hello." I said once I answered the call. "Hey, you ok?" She asked. "Uh ye, I'm just in Asda." I replied. "Oh ok, just because I heard about- um Harry's ex and I knew you too sorta had something." she said. "Wait what? You knew?" I said slightly flustered. "y/n. Everyone knew it was obvious." she said. "Shit."

After my phone call with Faith I paid for my food, packed my car and drove home. As I walked towards my apartment, three bags full of groceries in hand, I spotted someone sat next to my door. "Harry?" I said as he stood. "Hey." he said. I stared at him wide eyed "what are you doing here?" "I just- I- I need to talk to you." he said nervously. I sighed "come in."

Harry sheepishly walked into my apartment and we stood in the kitchen. I put the bags down and began unpacking them into the fridge and cupboards. Harry stayed silent until I was finished. I sighed and placed my hands on the counter that Harry stood on the other side of. "Listen, if you're coming here for a quick fuck then-" I started. "What- no- I- I just came um- to apologise." he said and I furrowed my brows. "What?" I said confused. "I broke it off completely with my ex... I just couldn't believe she was back- I was so stupid, I took her back immediately but last night I realised that she wrecked me and I'd already moved on and also that I loved someone else," he said and finally looked up at me properly... "you, I love you."

"You do?" I asked stunned. He nodded "it's okay if you don't feel the same but I just needed to tell you." I walked around the counter and stood in front of him "I love you too Harry."

[xelmokidx]

Nicknames

Mid90’s x gn or fem!reader / slight Fuckshit x gn!reader

Reader wanted a nickname, so the boys tried to come up with one. It sucked + readers' first time meeting the boys. 

Warnings!!: two mentions of fem pronouns sorta. Just fluff:D

**************************************************

Spike Psyche. That's my nickname. Out of all the things my friends could have nick-named me. Spike Psyche. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I say, appalled. Fuckshit nods, swigging back his Coke. 

“Yup.” he replies as Sunburn (aka stevie) giggles at the name.“Why?” I exclaim in disbelief. 

Ray chuckles at the nickname before muttering

 “Thats fucked up” Fuckshit opens his stupid mouth again. “Because all you talk about Is chopping off our heads and putting them on spikes, and how you want to kill yourself after every minor inconvenience.” I gasp, putting my hand over my chest dramatically. “I do not!”

Ruben shakes his head. “Yes, you do.”

FourthGrade chuckles behind his camera and I glare at him. He sinks down into the couch. “I do not talk about killing myself that much guys, if anything Ruben does more than me!” Ruben whips his head around to look at me. “Man, fuck you” He starts “I do not talk about that depressed shit.” I shake my head. “Y’all are trippin’” I look around the shop and see some customers listening in on our conversation. “I will not let yall call me that dumbass name, I like Y/N so much better”

Fourth grade finally chimes in. “But last week you said you hated your basic name and you wanted a nickname.” Bless his innocent soul. “Well I take it back, i am not answering to ‘Spike Psyche’” I sink into the couch with a pout. “Well fine ma, we’ll find you a “good nickname” Fuckshit reasons. I nod. We sit in silence as Ray gets up to help the customer. I look around the shop. 

New posters of artists I like are on the walls. Fuckshit insisted on making the space mine as well as theirs. All I heard was ‘we need new decorations and you have good taste in music’ I didn't really mind though. I've always wanted to add my own little spice into the skate shop ever since I first stepped foot in it. I think back a couple years. 

I was 13. I wanted a new board for my birthday. So, my dad took me to the nearest shop. Four boys sat on a couch near a wall, watching MTV on their small TV. The tall one noticed us first. He nudged the golden haired boy to his left, who then looked up at me. “Oh shit” he muttered under his breath. My dad frowned. I guess he caught that. “Hey, welcome to Motorz, how can I help y'all today?” he asked, clearly trying to impress my dad (on account of my dads business attire). 

My dad spoke for me while I hid behind him in fear. I was never good with new people. Especially ones I found cool. 

As my dad pressed questions like ‘How old even are you?’ and ‘fuckshits your name?’ I only found the kid cooler. How did you even wind up with a name like Fuckshit? 

Soon enough, my own personal skateboard was in my hands, and my dad was dragging me out of the shop despite my wanting to stay. As I looked behind me to the boys, and the supposed fuckshit was waving to me out the door. With my other free hand I waved back. He smiled a soft smile, and then walked back into the shop yelling “that chick was hot!” I smiled to myself the whole way home. I went back to the shop after school one day to see fuckshit again, and just stayed there for three years. My dad warmed up to fuckshit eventually, but still has some grudges against him. 

And I'm still in love with the stupid kid, even though he gets on my nerves almost every day.

 I look at fuckshit now. His hair is longer, yet less taken care of and frizzy. He has more scars from skateboarding. And his eyes look even more green against his tan olive skin. Suddenly, he speaks. “I got it!” I roll my eyes and mutter “what is it?” He smirks and walks over to me slightly slotting his legs between mine. “Your new nickname is Stalker, because you're always staring at me” The boys erupt in laughter. I gasp “fuck you” 

“You wish ma,” 

[strangeshoepatrolbandit]

Sunshine follows with Sunfall pt.4

Warnings: sorta ooc Jason, feelings, crying.

Series Masterlist

~☆~

The bell at the door chimed, alerting you that someone had entered.

"Hi, take a seat wherever you li-" Your automated response was cut short when you finally turned to look at who was at the door. Jason Todd.

"Hey." He awkwardly spoke, "I wanted to talk."

You let out a scoff. "I'm working."

"You get off at ten. It's nine forty-five." He stated.

"You're checking over my work schedule now?" You exasperatedly asked.

Jason looked away, choosing the floor as something way more interesting to look at. "I had to find you, and I just stumbled upon your hours."

You knew he was lying. You knew he had almost all of the information of your life.

"I hope you've been getting the money I send." He mentioned, talking about the money he sends you weekly, rather than monthly.

"Yeah, I got it." You mumbled, going back to wiping down the counters.

"I seen your car isn't here." He spoke again.

You let out a sigh. "It's in the shop."

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll probably just call a taxi." You stopped wiping the counters again, looking up at Jason to see if he had anything else to say.

"I can drive you home."

His words made you let out an unexpected laugh, "No."

"C'mon Y/N, would you rather go home with a stranger or me?" Jason asked. The way he said your name was just as sweet as it sounded when you were kids. No. No. Don't.

He was finally looking back up at you, taking in your features. "Jason, just drop it."

"Drop what? You? My kid?" His voice was getting louder at each word. You could hear Taylor stop what he was doing in the kitchen. "Y/N, please, let me take you home so that he can have a talk."

"Judith's not home if that's what you want."

"Maybe that's for the better, because I just need to talk with you."

You stood there contemplating if you should let him take you home or not. Locked in an internal conflict with yourself.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes."

×

Jason held the door open as the two of you left the building, Taylor was going to be the one locking up, so you didn't have to worry. The two of you walked side by side to the only other vehicle (other than your co-workers) that was in the parking lot.

His motorcycle is the same one he's had since his resurrection. It's the same one you've been on multiple times.

"Here." Jason whispered, now grabbing his helmet and putting it on your head. His hands lightly pushed up your chin so that he could see if the helmet was fully secured, an action he had performed many times.

Even though you didn't need any, Jason still decided to help you up onto the bike before sitting down himself. Your hands hesitantly grabbed for his torso, lightly gripping at his jacket. His own hands reached back to pull your arms fully around him, making your body sit up against his own.

"You ready?"

×

You knew Jason had your address, but you weren't going to question how he knew the exact route to your apartment.

The two of you sat in silence the entire walk and elevator ride to your door, not even saying anything when you finally got inside.

You went to go change, and Jason opted to look around, his gaze lingering on pictures on the wall and some of Judith's stray toys.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" You sighed as you walked back into the living room.

Jason had a guilty look flash across his face as he turned to face you. "The obvious."

"Oh, you mean how you left without a word for an entire year?" You hissed, causing Jason to lightly flinch.

"....Yes..." He whispered.

"Well, out with it." You urged him, "Please, answer the question I've been asking myself."

"Y/N..." He started, "when you told me you were pregnant, I was ecstatic," He paused to breathe, "I loved you so much and thought that everything was going perfect-"

"And me getting pregnant ruined that?" You interrupted him.

"No!" He yelled."No, not at all." He looked like he was about to cry.

"Y/N, I was scared- hell, I still am," He looked away. "I grew up on the streets, I know who's out there, I just couldn't bring a kid into that." Tears were now streaming down his face, but his voice remained calm. "And when I held Judith, I knew I wouldn't be able to let go. But I had to, because I was going to ruin her..."

"Jason-"

"No, Y/N, I need to talk!" His hand ran through his hair, "I have thought about her every day- about you every day!" He grabbed at your biceps, "I know I'm a piece of shit for leaving, and I am so so sorry- please- please forgive me!" Jason was full on sobbing at this point. You even joined in and let tears fall from your own eyes.

"Jason-" You interrupt yourself with a sob.

As his crying started to die down, he moved his forehead to sit against your own. You looked up at him through tear soaked lashes, taking in his solemn features. "I'm so sorry, Y/N.." He whispered.

"Shut up.." You told him as your arms reached around his neck, bringing him into a hug. It took a few seconds, but he reciprocated by hanging on to your body and shoving his face into your neck.

"I'm scared too." Jason held you tighter because of your words. "I'm so scared."

"I kinda hoped that you left because of some secret vigilante stuff."

"No, I'm just a coward."

"God, I hate you, Jason Todd." You whispered, opting not to tell him that you don't fully believe him, that you think there is another reason.

"I know, I know you do."

~☆~

Taglist: @keira324 @dakotali @22nranjan @skepvids @harpy-space @godknows-shetried @mirrorball-6 @macncheese69420666 @parkjammys @yyxy27 @burningkidanchor @elleclairez @amecchii @chickennugghon @marvelworldlover @oakexists @p0tterhead934 @makhaia @cassini-among-the-stars @tsukishimarawr @flowestallen @attackonnat @90s-belladonna @sucker4seresin

[metaltangodiva]

what are your thoughts on the different 'versions' of Krauser as well his various dynamics with Leon? Also do you have any advice for like...not being afraid to add your own interpretations and spins to characters? Like i think i care way too much about what people would think, so i'm a but scared to start posting anything, but at the same time I'd love to add to the fic collection lol

Hello hello~!

I wanna preface this quickly by saying I'm fucking unable to summarize anything, lmao. This turned out to be TWO ESSAYS.

I'll start by replying to the second question, because I sorta realized, about halfway through the answer, that I was writing a fucking essay on Metaltango and I didn't wanna overlook the second point of your message. Because it's super important to me, as a writer (amateur/hobbyist, but writer nonetheless) that people who want to write can do it.

And my suggestion is super easy: do it. Write the thing.

I know it's hard, I went through it too. It's hard to not compare yourself to other people, to go and think "man, they're not gonna like how I portray them". When I started writing "Normal", that was my worry. I was taking these badass, gun-toting, zombie-killing, masculine characters and putting them into a situation that's not only opposite to that, but pretty damn taboo in general. I've had Comments™. But whatever.

And what I tell people, when they say they're worried about how their stories are gonna be received, maybe because it takes a weird non-canon spin, or they feel their tropes are overdone, is:

Do it anyways. There's only you to craft that story you wanna see the way you want it; no one else can do it the exact same, even with the same prompts, the same tropes, the same characters. Everyone views things differently, and I think it's an amazing thing when it comes to art, well... almost everything, honestly. A saying that goes in a Discord server I hang out on is "there's nothing original anymore", but not in a bad way at all — so many works have the same themes, and yet they all still stand out somehow.

I might not the audience. This guy next to me might be, though! Or who knows, maybe *I* am the audience!

But you don't know any of this until you write it. Do it.

OKAY SO I GUESS THAT WAS PART ONE, lol.

SO LET'S GOO FOR PART TWO!

My thoughts on the different versions: I love them! Each version and each game brings something new to the table. I got started with RE4 (VR) — I liked how *aggressively homoerotic* that knife fight was.

Since it was my entry point to RE as a whole, I was curious as to *who* Krauser was, what was his relation to Leon, what happened between them, so on, so forth. Probably what a lot of people went through before Darkside Chronicles became a thing. His obsession for Leon and especially the *passion* behind it. Surely what happened between them was personal!

Then I heard of Darkside Chronicles and I had to play it for myself. So I did. And I was positively surprised when I saw Krauser as he was back around 2002. Gruff, rough around the edges, but just as snarky as Leon — and I love snarky characters. I felt their humor meshed so well. The "boy scout" exchange has lived rent-free in my head since I heard it. Same with the shared water bottle/indirect kiss. The snake/butterfly. Krauser starting as kinda dismissive of Leon, but quickly wisening up about it and treating him as an equal (and I feel it's more than that). And this became what I really wanted to see between them on the long run, hence why I started writing the AU "Normal" takes place in. They were such a good team, in spite of Krauser's wildly varying emotions.

Then RE4R came out, and it introduced them in a mentor/trainee relationship and I love that too. It's a whole different dynamic; Krauser's more serious but still does not shut up, Leon is still a smart mouth — I guess they clashed a lot overall and Leon can probably thank Krauser for all the extra push-ups and laps that gave him this *chef kiss* physique... but Krauser has a soft side to him. The guy really cared for his men, but as an instructor, as a soldier, as a superior and also as a human, probably couldn't voice it all too well. I cried when Leon picked up Krauser's knife, kneeled next to him and Krauser told him he was proud of him. That he had trained him well. It's a dynamic I wish I could capture well enough to put in words, but my real-life experience with anything army-related is nonexistent (well, so is my ageplay/military/"life as a couple" experience with "Normal", lol) and I feel I'd have a harder time with portraying it how I want to. So... I'm eventually gonna do it, outside of oneshots.

TLDR: Give me all the Krausers. They all bring something to the table <3

[hisaribi]

<333 OMG THANK U FOR THE LONG RESPONSE ABT OMEGA JAY + EVEN MORE OF YOUR BETA DICK HCS 😭💞 they're really lovely, I really enjoy how you look at omegas? The protectiveness and how they'd be bigger moreso focusing on protection and stuff ! Cool ! Worldbuilding ! I love how you get these different types of packs (like Damian's!) etc etc

Reverse Robin's Dick is absolutely precious, I love him infinitely. His and Damian's dynamics are <333 just lovely since Damian has mellowed down and softened quite a bit :') <33

SORRY 😭 just being attacked by brain worms, thank u sm for the lengthy answer !!! Small question because rev robins is just so fun and I got like, extra WOAH-ED by it, are you killing off Tim here (Making him RH or some other Crime lord, much colder than what Jason is) or is it still Jason (Eternally doomed god help him 😭)

And ! It just made me imagine big brother Jason ! Even more protective of pups and betas, Dick is both ;-; (is he going to get smothered?)

AGAIN!!! THANK U !!! ur so cool <3

I'm really glad it brought you joy! No you're cool!

the context: beta dick grayson post, omega Jason ask

I love reverse robins as a way to explore dynamics that can still be the same even if everything is so so different, so yeah, and in omegaverse with Dick being the only beta in a pack that isn't used to it and yet somehow holding them together is just great!

but I have sort of difficult relationship with rr, because I have preferences about them, that I don't see a lot lol

one of them Batgirls (minus Steph, or no, idk), being the canon-age, so no, babs isn't youngest in this, she's older than Damian and they have a love-hate relationships that are more sibling-like, Cass is the third eldest, Duke is forth and so on, Staph probably still between Jason and Tim, but idk. Harper also has her canon age, because I said so, anyway, back to all that

another is that Tim joined because of Dick and his obsession with him caused by trauma and all that. So in Reverse Robins he won't be joining the family before Dick. I sorta like him joining during the battle for cowl, the same goes for Duke, actually, but for different reasons. So Tim would be over 17 (lol), and he steps in because Dick being Dick would try and hold a leash on a bunch of elder batfam people who try to become Batmans but they all suck so ye, Tim steps in to help Dick. I have this post about reverse robins where ages are reversed, but not the order of adoption, so something like that would still be good for our reverse robins omegaverse thingie we talk about. so again, we can go around that with B adopting Tim before any of that, but that's a different can of worms. Also I sorta prefer Tim being more on the Oracle side

Now for died and was revived and it was a shitshow (affectionate), I think it should be either Jason or Steph, but also Steph's story as Spoiler compiles me, so no, Tim won't be the Robin who died (they are also Shadows, not Robins, and nobody knew who really lived through all the vigilante thing, if anything and we make Duke join the first, him and Damian constantly changing does create a nice creature vibe, anyway), for me it's still Jason

I also do love the possible body dysphoria Jason would get, because he died on a pretty short side right before Dick appeared in the family (I put their age difference) more like what they have in pre-n52 canon, because I really dislike what they did with ages here, anyway, at least 7 years difference, so Jason died at 15, Dick got to the family right after that and B was grieving and gosh what a shitshow that would be, so back to Jason, he's suddenly really-tall, really buff, and clearly omega, and he comes back in like two years max with his whole Red Hood shtick, and he's like I've been replaced, and looks at a kid who's clearly ready to throw hands with him, who also went like I'm not Shadow, I'm Robin, screw you

And Jason, who was used that nobody, not even Damian, got to the field before they were fourteen, that was a strict rule on B's side (actually Damian was a menace since day one he appeared at Bruce's door at the age of ten, but that's not what you tell your youngest), and yet here's kid who probably didn't live even a decade (I hc that before 13 he was like on a shorter side, but then between 13 and 15 he almost reached his adult height, so he definitely looked younger), and Jason's like... Bruce, at first I wanted to make you suffer, but now I'm going to kill you, how DARE you endanger the kid, what dO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T ADOPTED AND YOU KEEP HIS AS A WARD?! so ye, tiny Dick being the wrench that broke all Jason's dramatic plans

Dick's also has a 1000 quota stare, because he went through grieving B, fought teeth and nails to have his own vigilante persona, and he's used to wrangle Bruce and Jean-Paul, as well as Duke and Damian, and Batgirls, the kid is unfazed by the last Shadow coming back to life and his bag of severed heads is like huh, anyway, moving on

also yes, Dick is going to be smoothered by everyone, he would like it, as long as aside from that time he's treated as equal and stop trying to carry me away I had everything under control. also like really not getting the whole pack stuff, but mimicking it well enough that there's a bet who he would grow up to be, and Damian and Cass look at each other like nope, not telling them

also idk where to put it, so out of mentioned here Tim is alpha, Duke is omega, Steph is omega (and is the fourth tallest of the batfam), Babs is alpha, Cass is alpha, Harper idk, she has alpha vibes, I don't remember actually if I contradict myself, so whatever

so ye, thank you for the ask and have a nice day!

[dolly-gutzz]

Mid90’s x gn or fem!reader / slight Fuckshit x gn!reader

Reader wanted a nickname, so the boys tried to come up with one. It sucked + readers' first time meeting the boys. 

Warnings!!: two mentions of fem pronouns sorta. Just fluff:D

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮

Spike Psyche. That's my nickname. Out of all the things my friends could have nick-named me. Spike Psyche. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I say, appalled. Fuckshit nods, swigging back his Coke. 

“Yup.” he replies as Sunburn (aka stevie) giggles at the name.“Why?” I exclaim in disbelief. 

Ray chuckles at the nickname before muttering

 “Thats fucked up” Fuckshit opens his stupid mouth again. “Because all you talk about Is chopping off our heads and putting them on spikes, and how you want to kill yourself after every minor inconvenience.” I gasp, putting my hand over my chest dramatically. “I do not!”

Ruben shakes his head. “Yes, you do.”

FourthGrade chuckles behind his camera and I glare at him. He sinks down into the couch. “I do not talk about killing myself that much guys, if anything Ruben does more than me!” Ruben whips his head around to look at me. “Man, fuck you” He starts “I do not talk about that depressed shit.” I shake my head. “Y’all are trippin’” I look around the shop and see some customers listening in on our conversation. “I will not let yall call me that dumbass name, I like Y/N so much better”

Fourth grade finally chimes in. “But last week you said you hated your basic name and you wanted a nickname.” Bless his innocent soul. “Well I take it back, i am not answering to ‘Spike Psyche’” I sink into the couch with a pout. “Well fine ma, we’ll find you a “good nickname” Fuckshit reasons. I nod. We sit in silence as Ray gets up to help the customer. I look around the shop. 

New posters of artists I like are on the walls. Fuckshit insisted on making the space mine as well as theirs. All I heard was ‘we need new decorations and you have good taste in music’ I didn't really mind though. I've always wanted to add my own little spice into the skate shop ever since I first stepped foot in it. I think back a couple years. 

I was 13. I wanted a new board for my birthday. So, my dad took me to the nearest shop. Four boys sat on a couch near a wall, watching MTV on their small TV. The tall one noticed us first. He nudged the golden haired boy to his left, who then looked up at me. “Oh shit” he muttered under his breath. My dad frowned. I guess he caught that. “Hey, welcome to Motorz, how can I help y'all today?” he asked, clearly trying to impress my dad (on account of my dads business attire). 

My dad spoke for me while I hid behind him in fear. I was never good with new people. Especially ones I found cool. 

As my dad pressed questions like ‘How old even are you?’ and ‘fuckshits your name?’ I only found the kid cooler. How did you even wind up with a name like Fuckshit? 

Soon enough, my own personal skateboard was in my hands, and my dad was dragging me out of the shop despite my wanting to stay. As I looked behind me to the boys, and the supposed fuckshit was waving to me out the door. With my other free hand I waved back. He smiled a soft smile, and then walked back into the shop yelling “that chick was hot!” I smiled to myself the whole way home. I went back to the shop after school one day to see fuckshit again, and just stayed there for three years. My dad warmed up to fuckshit eventually, but still has some grudges against him. 

And I'm still in love with the stupid kid, even though he gets on my nerves almost every day.

 I look at fuckshit now. His hair is longer, yet less taken care of and frizzy. He has more scars from skateboarding. And his eyes look even more green against his tan olive skin. Suddenly, he speaks. “I got it!” I roll my eyes and mutter “what is it?” He smirks and walks over to me slightly slotting his legs between mine. “Your new nickname is Stalker, because you're always staring at me” The boys erupt in laughter. I gasp “fuck you” 

“You wish ma,” 

[beatcroc]

Okay I finally generated an ask for you!!!!

What is your favourite genre of music? Or if you don't know how to categorize the music you listen to (like me), what is your favourite song? Or band? Or album? Something like that.

ohhhhh #1 question i am categorically incapable of being normal about <3

i typically just define my favorite music as "loud" or "aggressive" or "abrasive" bc most stuff that fits those descriptors will be in my faves regardless of the genre.

a more specific answer is that there are 3 main things i've noticed that will typically make me go apeshit without fail and they are: 1. hardstyle/gabber/industrial hardcore- sorta basskick 2. sickass metal guitar shredding 3. huge dramatic grandiose orchestral

if something has 1 of these i will probably like it, if it has 2 it will be a top fave, and all 3.... well i have yet to find it yet but im sure i will Ascend. here are examples of said top fave combos.

laur covers hardstyle+orchestral and i Cannot Get Enough of his shit man it goes so fucking crazy hard

metal+orchestral is unquestionably ruled by nightwish, but theyre not on bandcamp and i dont feel like finding other links so this one goes to the still-very-fucking-awesome runner-up, POWERWOLF

riikira and rabbitjunk hit metal+hardstyle, though it's less strictly hardstyle and more just general hardcore* electronica. if its got crazy amens its enough who cares. i put the ones that use actual kicks for the sake of illustrating the point here but these tracks are both pretty far from my faves from each lmao *hardcore referring to hardcore [edm] in this case, even though the genre these belong to is called "digital hardcore", which instead refers to hardcore [punk]. it's a mess out here. did you know theres two completely different things called doomcore where one is derived from metal and the other is derived from hardcore. and you never know which itsd going to be when you click on something in the doomcore tag. im dying squirtle

anyway on the other side of the hardstyle+metal combo is kobaryo [with his alias blaxervant], who's much more about the hardcore side of things and just has the metal as flair, but it is still: the best shit ever

laur also on occasion hits this side of hardstyle+metal becaue he just likes using whatever the fuck instruments

there are of course many other things i love a lot, primary examples being ambient/atmospheric, folk, and anything with a lot of Texture. im not gonna get into all that but i do have an extended list of faves/recs from the last time i was asked about this and went insane abt it. it took forever to make and my actual recs are not entirely the same as my Faves so im putting it on here too.

i keep these curated to the top of my bandcamp profile so they're the first things that display there. it's a bit old by now and some have since been shuffled out, but it's still like 80% accurate.

as for the actual recs: the angel's message is there because it's my fave brand of intense and chaotic stuff and want it to kill you full force. it already has some tracks up there so im not re-linking it

this one i recommend just because i think it's really interesting and out there and i'm curious what other people think of this sort of stuff. it's also the prime example of what i mean when i talk about Textures in music.

wolfgun is an actual rec for being genuinely just really good music. probably the most objectively cool/platonically enjoyable thing in my library

[halo-lll-odst]

can you tell us abt your ocs :]? any one of them maybe even multiple of them !! if you want

SCREAMS SOFUCKING LOUD OH MY GOD THANK YOU LOOKSS AT YOU WITH MY BIG AUTISTIC EYES ok well i have a handful, but the one i've been posting about most is spring/her universe!!! i should probably post about her more but thats a different subject lol spring is a character i made in 2019 i think? tbh, she used to be a throwaway character. sorta character you made when you were younger simply because you wanted to, but with me getting into ultrakill in recent months and rediscovering my love for robotic characters i decided to revamp her and rewrite aspects of her story basically, she was human at one point. she went through a procedure called a "transfer", because she was terminally ill. what a transfer entails is basically just turning a person into a computer. converting biological workings to those of a computer's. this grants the patient virtual immortality, but of course with limited technology, loss of many senses physically. the biggest problem is that spring did not give full consent to have this procedure done on her. in fact, she didn't even know it existed. the only reason it was done is because her widowed mother was a scientist working on researching and refining the technology, working at a facility a ways outside of the town they lived in to advance this. also before i go forwards i should say that the story takes place in the past actually. only by about 20 years, so early 2000's, i'm thinking 2001 specifically. though, when spring's transfer happens, it's 1988. since spring was terminally ill, she was in and out of the hospital a lot, getting check-ups, physical therapy, or otherwise. when her condition dipped, long hospital stays weren't out of the ordinary. in 1988, this same thing happened. she went into the hospital, expecting to be out in just a few days, maybe up to a week. this wasn't anything new to her. she had danced with death before and had basically accepted it. (btw in 1988 she's 19) but her condition quickly begins to decline, and she falls unconscious, having to be put on life support. her mother, in a panic and frankly having planned and prepared for this since she expected the worst, packs her up in the middle of the night, and heads to the facility in an ambulance, just with her and her daughter. there, the procedure is done. she couldn't bear to lose her daughter, what else could she have done besides just letting her slip away? i'm still working out the logistics of this story (despite how illogical it all is) so this part i'm still torn on? but for whatever reason, spring goes dormant. she won't respond to anyone or anything in this new state she finds herself in, and her mother panics. she thinks she killed her daughter. she failed, everything she worked for just reduced to nothing in an instant. a year or two goes by, and spring's mother, overcome with guilt and sadness, moves away from the state that she lived in with her daughter after her supposed death and subsequent funeral, and throws herself into her work harder than ever. she never wants anything like this to happen to anyone ever again, and wants to make sure others can live happily with their relatives for as long as they want to. she wants to be able to save those lives that are so kind, so pure. those who went before their time. needless to say, spring's mother is. fucked up later, in 2001, spring is still being housed in the facility she was originally transferred in. however, she is just being held as more of a case file than anything in a storage wing of the facility, or so everyone thinks. OK I'M GONNA NEED TO POST THIS IN PIECES BECAUSE TUMBLR IS BROKEN AND WON'T LET ME POST IT OTHERWISE LMFAO. ALSO I HIT THE TEXT LIMIT. ALSO SORRY FOR TAKING ALMOST A WEEK TO ANSWER

[fraxusgoldenheart]

db x wyll anon here. I saw the wyll db kissy pic and sorta went mad for a bit and i just realised I forgot to send like, half of what I wanted to say oops so here goes: op your art is incredible your db and wyll are so sweet and so in love I've looked at them so many times and i still get the warm fuzzies without fail

(also i was looking for deets on your db so i can refer to them by name but. i didnt? find? anything? so heres your free pass to talk about your db oc)

Oh, it's very nice when people are interested in my characters! („• ֊ •„) Actually, my dragonborn's name is the same as mine - Fraxus (I just didn't have any ideas for this passage, so I left him that name, I'm spreading my tesok so to speak. I don't consider him to be me, don't worry, I just put a piece of myself in, like in all my characters) Even though I took the story of Dark Urge for him, I decided to come up with a small headcannon for him, since Bhaal probably has a lot of offspring and the canonical Dark Urge from Baldur's Gate 3 is not the only one. In short, this is a snow dragonborn druid who loves to play the violin. He grew up in a family of cultists who worshipped the god Bhaal and prepared his son so that he could be a candidate for the legacy of this god. Something like Bhaal's son, only through divine blessing or something, not a direct heir, as in the canon of the game. However, my db has never been enthusiastic about the cult and all that. He also has manifestations of dark urge, from which he suffers morally and always blames himself for the deaths he brings. Meeting Wyll was something like a ray of sunshine in his dark life, which he grabbed onto. I can tell you a little more or answer questions about him if you're interested! UwU

And this is how he looks in the game. I haven't given him a reference yet, but I hope to fix it soon!

[arttrampbelle]

A Raiden Blurb.

⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡

Have a lord Raiden blurb. For no reason other than he need love,deserves better and gives me comfort.

I apologize in advance if this is self indulgent. But he's comfort character(i self ship with him too but he's mostly comfort character, i find peace with raiden fr. I ask myself sometime wwlrd? Or what wisdom would he give me in this scenario?).So I'm writing this sorta bias. So srry not srry.

Also apologizes if this isn't the best,it's been a bit since i actually wrote. But i hope you enjoy regardless.

Cw:hurt/comfort,angst,fluff,self indulgent. Not an x reader. Also slight mentions of past deaths,not anyone in particular just death in general(dunno if that is important or a tw but i wanted to mention it),mentions of my hcs for shang. If i missed anything let me know plz.

💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙

I sat down on my terrace patio of my apartment,listening to the rain,it felt heavy. Some tea in my hands. Warmth of the steam fills my nose upon my face. Somber thoughts race through my mind.

A few years ago i was thrusted into a world,a world of constant danger. Mortal men and women fighting each other to death for some cosmic war i never wanted to be a part of. I was fine being ignorant to it all. Living life as i was...and yet. I wouldn't have met the people i have. Wonderful people. People that have fueled my very soul and shaken my worldview to it's core. Made me grow,learn,see farther than i ever dreamed.

And yet,that looming danger. That hunger. It knaws at me. That voice in the back of my mind.

"Do it,you know you love it. Doesn't it thrill you? Don't you like how it sounds?...how it feels against your knuckles as it's crimson luster flows across your skin. The feel of power and strength. The way that victory tastes. And defeat only makes you crave it more?" This feeling I've never felt. This world that i have been apart of for a good time now. Never truly leaves. Even when peace surrounds me. Even when i am home...am i truly? Who am i truly? What have i become or am becoming? It terrifies me. But not because of the craving for violence. Or the thrill kombat gives me. But because it doesn't bother me,it should. But it doesn't.

What should be an easy task to decide,for any sane moral person. Is difficult.

I sought some answers,and if anything comfort of another.

I finished my tea. Got up. And put on my boots and coat. Grabbed my umbrella. And went to the temple. I lived on the city limits but still was an easy walk to the temple that was near.

The temple of lord raiden. God of thunder,protector of earthrealm. Or as normal people call it....earth. yeah i know,confusing right? It was for me too the first time.

As i approached the temple gates. The torii. They loom with dark red. I can hear the soft sounds of the chimes and temple bells. Prayers of monks. And the serenity of this place.

However,no matter the peace. The welcoming faces and smiles. I still felt like i wasn't even on this planet. Lost in my own realm if that makes any sense. But i chalk that up to my anxiety,as i always tell myself. But im sure lord raiden would see right through that shit.

But i needed to talk to him. If anything just to tell me "you're overthinking,you need rest,something...tell me something."

I don't usually pray,i don't go to temples outside of with any neighbors or out of courtesy. I'm not heavily religious,i do believe in spirits and am open minded. As all things have a merit of truth to it. But this...praying to an actual deity i could touch,feel,talk to,as if they knew me and my soul since birth yet never really knew me. It's terrifying. But more so because of how at ease i felt with him. And how familiar he felt. Like a long lost friend.

His brother is much the same. Lord fujin,god the winds. But he is on a whole nother level of intense. I walked up to the shrine. Paid my tribute. Lit the incense,and bowed deeply once. Clapped my hands together and took a deep breath. In my prayer i asked for lord raiden to come visit me. To give me wisdom and insight. Comfort of my own storm inside my mind. The questions that burned still.

As i prayed. I could sense the incense getting dim in the dark but serene temple shrine.

It went out,smoke loomed and whisped.

Swirls of the smoke formed a face and a flash sparked in front of me. Not a large boom but a quick flash of light. Like the spark of the burning incense ignited in front of me and formed him.

Lord raiden. He stood before me,manifested.

A very tall man. Long white hair trailed down,slight waves of silver glinted in the strands. Eyes that glowed softy. A very silver-blue tint. With flickers of electricity in them,but soft...like the rain. A golden tint to his skin. Otherworldly yet so...human. tattoos of thunderstorms and swirling clouds laces his exposed arms. A sleeveless training gi he wore. White and grey. His presence never ceases to leave me in awe. Even after these many years of my mortal life.

"Lord raiden,i have come to ask of you humbly of your wisdom" i said with a slight shake in my voice as i bowed deep in respects.

He laughed as he crossed his arms and then sighed.

"You don't have to do that,you can just ask me. I told you i dislike formality outside of where it is nessicary. Especially from my former pupils"

*sigh* "but i appreciate it. As this is a temple."

I thanked him. Bowing again out of habit.

"Lord raiden....i wish to ask you some things that have been bothering me."

Raiden then looked at me with a smile.

"Of course,but let us speak about it somewhere more private" he led me to a tea house. The rain around us seeming falling away like we were in a bubble of energy....Still freaks me out.

He opened the shoji screen took off his sandels and so did i. We stepped inside and sat down.

Raiden got two cups,and poured the tea.

"Now,what is it that is bothering you krista?"

"You don't normally come to the temple so formally. In fact. I just hear you call my name and fujin my brother tells me. Our visits aren't this formal."

I sipped the tea,still shaking from nerves.

"L-lord raiden. I am going to be honest. And i apologize if I'm so blunt....but I'm absolutely terrified"

Lord raiden looks at me with concern but speaks with a calming tone.

"I can see that. Remember to breathe. You know i would never bring you harm or discomfort my dear."

"Now,what is it that is terrifying you? Making you so anxious as to call upon a god in an abnormal way for a practical woman such as yourself?"

I sat down the tea cup. Took a deep breath,slightly tearing up as i do. I hate sensory overload of my mind. I could sense he knew this. Hence the more private and quieter place of the teahouse.

"Lord raiden. I have been plagued with feelings. Feelings i am not sure if i should be feeling."

"After the tournament and returning to a swmi normal life. I have been feeling these on and off cravings for kombat. For violence. And i know that i fight for whats right. And to help protect my home. As you,many masters and many of my friends have done. But these feelings. I'm scared that i love kombat too much. That it doesn't bother me as much as it should. I've been told even by that sorcerer,shang tsung i have a nurturing soul. But if that's so? Why do i relish in kombat?"

Raiden sighed. Put down his cup. Took a breath and looked at me.

In the most serious but most insightful words he's ever spoken to me,said.

"Krista. I know of too well of how you feel. Many others have been in your shoes and down the same path as you. These feelings are normal. Everyone has them. Even me"

I looked at him,wiping my tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Even you lord raiden?" I said.

"Yes,even me. I get concerned with these feelings. Cravings as you stated. But i remember why i do what i do. Who i fight for,what i fight for. And truly there is no wrong answer. Only choice. There is no one way in handling your darker half. But you must. *pointing finger* you must accept it. If you are to become enlightened. You will continue to suffer,if you do not."

His words stung. But they are true.

"I feel you are in need of creature comforts. Not formalities."

"I know you krista. You indeed have a sweet soul *mutters: one thing i have to agree with the sorcerer* . *reaches arms out in gestures for a hug.* come,embrace me....you big softie"

I quickly rush to embrace him. Holding him tightly. I burst into tears,crying in his chest. Letting go the many many many months even years of pent up emotions.

"Why raiden?! Why is it so hard?! Why can't i see myself the way you do? Or my friends do. Why do i feel so lost?! It hurts. I hate fighting,but i know i need to. I'm so tired raiden."

I sob pleading for the hurt to stop.

His embrace and arms hold me tightly but gently. He rests his face ontop of my head kissing it gently and ernestly. His breath is warm but soft. Like a summer breeze.

"I know,i know it is. And you're allowed to feel tired. Believe me,I'm tired too. Have been for millennia now. *chuckles* but what we dont do is unpack there. You have such wisdom yourself. And the reason why you can't see yourself as the beautiful soul you are. Is simply because you are scared to. It's unfamiliar. And it's alright to feel this way. You are a natural healer. But you need to give yourself the love,the care,the space and the tenderness you give others. The fire and the inspiration you give my other warriors is incredible. But you,my dear *lifts chin up to look at him eye to eye* need to give yourself the same. Because that beautiful woman inside you,needs it the most."

"It's taken me much loss to see this too. I might be wise but even masters need teaching and refreshment too"

*i wipe my tears*

"Really? Like how?"

Raiden looked at me with his soften eyes. Slight sadness behind them.

"I have seen this before. Liu kang,the champion of earthrealm. Your friend and fellow warrior. Has felt these feelings before. I said very similar things to him. However unlike him. You have something very similar to shang tsung"

I was taken aback. Paused. And asked.

"S-shang tsung?! How so? That seems odd"

Raiden explains

"Ah but it's true. Shang tsung as you know him now. Wasn't always a sorcerer. Let alone the serpent he masquerades as."

"He was a warrior,just like you. A mortal whom wished nothing but to protect those he cared for. But he instead of sitting with his emotions. He gave into rage. Although i did not help him in this time which he needed me the most. I did not give him the comfort he sought. As i am doing with you right now. Even liu kang i struggled with. Though not nearly as much"

"You see my dear,i do not always have an answer. Even if i did,i wouldn't know how to truly give it."

"Shang tsung was also a healing soul. Much like you. He was always trying his best to fight for those he loved. Much like liu kang. But unlike liu kang,he didn't have the same experiences of friendship,closeness,and love as my many other warriors i have trained in my eternal life"

I asked raiden after getting this insight.

"Lord raiden. If shang tsung,did have that do you think he'd be different?"

Raiden sighed

"Perhaps. This knaws at me every day. But then again. Perhaps not. It's hard to say. But this isn't about him. What i am trying to tell you. Is don't let that spark die out. You keep that faith. Please. If not in me,if not in the cause for you realm. Then the principals of you as a warrior and a healing force"

"Never forget krista that there are people that love you. Genuinely. That your friends love you. That i lo..that you are important."

I looked at him,slightly catching that pause.

But smiled and continued sitting and laying against his chest.

"Domo,raiden-sama. I needed this"

Raiden smiled rubbing my back.

"Of course,anytime"

He kissed the top of my head.

We then chatted some more. But i remembered i needed to get home.

Raiden looked at me and said. "I could fly you there. It's not far right?" "I mean it beats walking" raising a brow with a cheeky expression.

"Well yeah i mean. I guess it would" i said. But before i could continue. He picked me up. Scooping me bridal style. And flew out the doors of the teahouse.

Not a single raindrop hit us as we flew down the road in the sky.

We came to my apartment patio. He sat me down.

I said to him

"Thank you raiden,for everything."

He smiled at me and said

"Of course. Oh and next time? Just call my name and I'll be there."

I laughed a bit at that. "Of course lord raiden" smiling as he flew off.

I felt lighter. But i still wondered...why did he feel like he had guilt for shang tsung being how he was. If it was his choice than why feel guilt over something he chose? What happened?" But i guess that was for another visit. But more importantly than that.

"What was that pause when he said that i am loved? Could he have been trying to say that he loves....nah. I'm overthinking it."

But i couldn't help but blush at the thought.

The rain felt more calm now.

I got my cup and brewed some tea.

Sat down. And gave the rain a proper listen this time...it's beautiful. Just like the god that creates it. Like a beautiful haiku,a song,or a painter.

The tea was good too.

My soul was at ease now.

His eyes,Soft...like the rain.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Um. Not sure how to TW this? It's nothing too bad or anything but it's. IDK.

I'm feeling really shitty about something that happened this weekend.

It was my brother's birthday on Sunday. His boyfriend came from a state over for it and everything. He wanted to go clubbing on Saturday, so me, our two roommates, him, and his boyfriend got all dolled up and went out to the club.

This was a club I hadn't gone to before. It was kinda known around my circles as the normie gay bar, like where girls go for bachelorette parties and white twinks go and stuff, but like. It's his birthday so I'm not gonna question his choice or anything. I should have known it was more strict on security than the clubs I usually go to TBH. I had bought two of those tiny little bottles of alcohol because like hell am I gonna pay $20 for a G&T inside, and I've literally never had an issue with that before at the clubs I usually go to. Yes, it's against the rules, but at most they'd ask me to throw it out or something, which is no big loss because they're like a dollar fifty.

Anyway, this security person asked to check my bag and I thought I had put it off to the side where it was less visible, and again I never had a huge issue with this. But he said he couldn't let me in. Reasonable I guess, and I said I'd throw it out. He said no, I can't come in for the rest of the night. Again, I get it, but like. Still.

So me + the roommates (who also had alcohol, but hadn't had their bags checked yet) said ok, we'll go and brother + his boyfriend can have fun inside. We planned to wait like an hour and circle back to see if there was a different security guy who wouldn't remember, and I'd just drink my alcohol so I wouldn't have any contraband on me. We went around the block to some fast food place to hang out.

I sorta figured like. My brother enjoys clubbing on his own or with other friends (who were coming in an hour,) he can have fun and we can come back and join him or not. Plus his boyfriend is with him.

Except like. Apparently this wasn't the case. Apparently he had come looking for us, and we weren't there. When we went back, the same security guy was there, so one of my roommates decided to go in and find him, tell him I couldn't get in, and ask if he wanted to go to a different club or I could just go home, either was fine with me. Except she couldn't find him. Other roommate went in to help with the search. He couldn't find him either. Eventually his friends get there. No one can find him. We ask security to help. They're unhelpful. He's wearing really distinctive clothes (he was very goth, and as I said before the club is a VERY normie club) and they still refused to help. There was an hour and a half search party, he didn't answer his phone (I forgot that he had given it to me, since he didn't have pockets, and his boyfriend had given his phone to our roommate.) Eventually I see him walking past the club and almost cried because I was so relieved. Everyone gives him hugs. He gives everyone hugs. We all decide to go home because we had all been so worried. I say we can go clubbing again tomorrow.

I just feel really awful. I feel like I ruined his birthday. He wanted to go out and have fun and instead it turned into this immensely scary and stressful experience. And it feels like it's my fault. Partially because I forgot I had his phone, partially because I figured he'd be fine without me. It feels almost. IDK. Mean. To assume that he'd just have fun on his own. That he wouldn't want me to be there with him to celebrate his birthday. Devaluing myself hurt him. And that sucks. I just don't know what to do about it. Sunday we didn't go clubbing we just sort of. Stayed home. I did some small stuff, made him breakfast and the day previous I had made him monkey bread. I'm bad at gift giving but I like making people food.

I dunno. I just feel like I failed. I stopped being overprotective for one night (something I was definitely struggling with) and fucked everything up.

[squill79]

The Woman Who Was

Trigger warning for transphobia

It was an average weekday. George wastes his time lying around and eating junk food, as he typically does. He used to be a family man. He would stay in shape and pass the football around with his teenaged son, Bryan. Ever since the divorce however, George has become a shell of his former self. twice a month, Bryan stops by to see his father, and today was one of those days. "How's it going dad?", Bryan asks as he enters the living room.

"What? How's it what?", George tiredly responds as he awakens from a nap.

"I just ask how it's going", Bryan answers as he gazes around the apartment. "Wow, this place gets messier every time I stop by. You've got garbage and clothes everywhere, I'd like to see this place look nice for once".

"Well, I don't normally have others over, besides you I guess", says George.

"Well maybe you should have someone over, put yourself out there! I mean you and mom have been separated for a few years now, it might be good to meet someone again", Bryan suggested.

George pondered, "Maybe... just as long as she's not like your mom. I mean come on, was it so hard for her to just cook my meals and do my laundry every day? You know, like women are supposed to do?"

Bryan was disgusted. "Ugh, women aren't supposed to do anything, dad! Don't be gross".

"Yeah I bet she taught you that", George snarked.

Bryan chose to change the topic, "Alright dad, let's set you up an account on an online dating site". Bryan set up an account for his dad. George spent the next hour scrolling past various women he felt didn't meet his standard in terms of appearance, interests, and views. Eventually, he stopped on a girl who went by the name of Luna.

"Hey, this girl is real pretty! And she's only in her late twenties! She loves cooking and cleaning and is looking for a man who is strong, supportive, and has a great sense of humor! I'm all those things!"

"Sure you are, dad", Bryan said sarcastically.

"I think I'm gonna set up a date with her", George said.

That's great, dad", Bryan responded. "I think I'm gonna get going now but let me know how the date goes".

"Yeah, I'll see ya kiddo", George said distractedly. This was the first time he had been excited for something in years. He spent the rest of the day cleaning the apartment in case he wanted to take her home.

A few days later, George went to meet Luna for dinner at a local restaurant. George arrived first and sat down at a booth. Shortly after, Luna entered looking even prettier than she did on her profile. She wore a stunning purple dress, had long dark hair, was 6 feet tall, and wore sparkly make-up. George was amazed. "Wow", he exclaimed when she sat down, "You're even more beautiful in person!"

Luna laughed, "Why thank you! It took me all day to look like this".

"Yeah I bet", he responded.

"So what do you do all day? What are your hobbies?", Luna asked.

George stammered for a moment. He didn't want her to know he spends all day slouching around at home once he gets home from work. He had to make something up. "Well I... exercise. I jog, I bike, I go to the gym", he answered as he used his phone to secretly create a membership at his local gym.

"Oh that's nice, I'm a real health nut too. What muscles have you been working on?", Luna asked.

George did not know how to respond. "Oh you know... sorta a mix of them all. I try not to discriminate'". The two both laughed. George then asked, "So what are you into? Your bio said you liked cooking and cleaning".

"Well yeah, I do, but that's just what my mom wanted me to say", Luna replied. "What I really want is to be a big performer one day. So far I've only done small shows but I hope to be in something bigger one day, maybe Broadway".

"Oh that seems interesting", George responded. "Can you sing for me?"

"Right here!?!? In a restaurant!?!?", Luna confusedly exclaimed.

"Yeah, why not?", George asked.

Luna laughed and the two continued to talk for the rest of the night. they both had a wonderful time and agreed to keep seeing each other.

For the next few weeks George and Luna had become a consistent part of each other's lives'. They jogged together, went to the beach and an amusement park, watched movies, George even started working out to get in shape for her. In that short time, George was happier than he had been for the entirety of the last few years. One Saturday afternoon, the two were having a picnic. George could tell that Luna had something on her mind. "Is something wrong?", he asked.

Luna had been hiding a secret that was eating her up inside. A secret that she was not yet prepared to share. So instead, she made up a lie. "Yeah it's just... your son".

"My son?", George questioned, "What about him?"

"I want to meet him. I mean, I'm just nervous that he might need time to adjust to me being a part of his life, you know how kids can be", Luna answered.

"Oh I doubt that", George replied. "Meeting you was actually his idea in the first place. But sure, you can still meet him! We'll set up a dinner date at my place tomorrow."

"Sounds great", Luna nervously responded.

The next day, per his father's invite, Bryan met George and Luna at the apartment for dinner. "Hi, how are you?", Luna greeted him and shook his hand.

"I'm great, thanks", Bryan replied. He could see that Luna was visibly nervous but refused to acknowledge it. He looked around and saw that the house was much neater than it had been last time he visited. "Wow dad, you really tidied up the place".

"Oh... yeah", he said. "Just wanted this place to look nice". The three sat down at the table to eat. Bryan talked about his classes and friends and Luna discussed her acting career. Bryan could still tell she was acting nervous. She was sweaty, kept rambling, and was often unfocused on what he was saying. Eventually, George got up to use the bathroom and left the table. This gave Bryan the opportunity to ask her, "Hey, are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah", she answered. "Yeah, I'm ok. It's just... your dad, is he... on the conservative side of the spectrum?"

"Oh... yeah", Bryan responded. "Yeah, I love the guy but he's pretty right wing. It's actually a part of why he and my mom divorced in the first place. I've tried making him see our point of view but he's a stubborn guy. You know how parents are. Why do you ask?"

Luna sighed, "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell your dad?"

"For sure, totally", Bryan promised.

"... I'm transgender. I have been presenting as female since I was twelve and had a sex reassignment surgery at eighteen. I don't want to keep it from him but I'm scared to let him know".

Bryan attempted to console her. "Oh, well that's not-".

"WHHHAAAAAT!?!?!?", Bryan was interrupted by his father, who as it turns out, could hear them the entire time. "You mean I've been dating a man this whole time?"

Luna was in shock. She had not a clue what to say. Bryan stood up to defend her, "She is not a man!"

"Great, more of your woke nonsense", George retorted. "Men can't be women! Men are men!"

Luna finally stepped in. "So all that time we spent together, it means nothing because I was born a man?"

George angrily pointed at her. "You deceived me! I thought I was dating a women. How can I ever trust you?"

Luna scoffed. "I only lied because I was worried you would react this way, and I was correct".

"Get the hell out!" George yelled. Luna sobbed and egressed the apartment.

"Great going dad", Bryan said sarcastically. "Yet again you drove away a perfectly nice girl because you're an ignorant buffoon. It's exactly why mom left you".

"Yeah well, good thing I don't need anyone. I'm better off by myself", George told his son.

"I sure hope you are", Bryan stated as he left the apartment. He proceeded to cut off contact between him and his dad.

By the end of the week, George had gone back to his old slobbish, lazy, unambitious self. He quit working out and spent all his time eating junk and watching TV, fantasizing about how his life could be had Luna still been in it.

[atxxzist]

Hi. I just wanted to drop this here after binge reading Broken. I'm in shambles. Literally.. The more I read on the more I was drawn in. It's really been quite a while since I got to read some good Ateez [series] fics. Often times there aren't many series/long fics... I'm also unfortunately a sorta, picky reader so that makes it harder for me to just read anything. But still I applaud all Authors for putting in the effort and writing regardless!! It's not easy, but do what u love 🤍 As for yours, I'm convinced. Writing was on point as well. I absolutely love it so far. There are also a few things that truly spoke to me with ur writing! But I'll share those another time. Looks like I'm gona be sticking around for a while 🫡. I've completely fallen for the characterization of Yeosang!! Just so u know. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT. BUT I WENT SEARCHING; AND READ FOR SAN, but ended up falling for Yeosang. Like what's even up with that. I'm just so exited to see what's up next. Again thank you for sharing ur work 🤍 I will be browsing through Tumblr with giddiness and restlessness for the next few hours. Sleep can certainly wait. & classes can certainly be skipped XD. BUT SERIOUSLY, Broken is gona be replaying in my head so much that there's even a chance I fall asleep and dream about it. 😭😭😭😭

crying 😭 first of all, ty 4 taking the time to send in such a long and thoughtful message. i honest 2 god have not been having the greatest time when it comes 2 writing 😭 i was rlly excited 4 the upcoming chapter but its proving to be a lot more difficult than i thought lol, and am just v swamped with life in general that even finding the time to actually sit down and write is hard. but enuff of that, i am glad you gave the story a chance bc y/n's pain has always been one ive been wanting to write 4 a very long time lmao and i hope 2 b able to convey it the way i have in my head.

more under the cut

and yeosang, omg. was honestly kind of worried abt his characterization at first bc he rlly isnt a bad person, but with how he acted initially, it is fair some would write him off as an ahole. im just relieved i was able to get that across, that he is a lot more than what he shows around y/n and what she thinks of him. and next chapter kind of breaks down his character more so i am also excited 4 his backstory. but by the time im answering this, i hope u got 2 sleep and attended your classes lmaoo. again, ty 💕 u made my day.