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charnelhouse · 2 years

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darlin'

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Wordcount: 4k Warnings: rough smut. violence. almost sexual assault (but nothing in detail). me probably knowing nothing about this. Srs hurt/comfort. references to suicide. Summary: You are another means to an end. He needs a second pair of hands and you have the face to distract scavengers and the guts to kill people who need to be put down. A/N: not sure about the timeline between joel and tommy splitting post-outbreak. I’m really playing fast and loose with canon here since joel is on the move with the reader and not stuck in one place. Hopefully his characterization is somewhat on point.

It’s not like you fall into Joel’s lap. It’s a gradual process where you’re in separate packs of hunters that inevitably dwindle to a few lonely pairs. You’re maneuvering around each other in the same snuffed-out city. The only source of lights is in sewer tunnels. There are familiar faces in the dark.

One night, both of your groups are cornered in an empty factory by a crowd of infected. It’s silly. A foolish way to lose, but you do. Everyone but you and Joel get bitten, and you feed your friends a bullet. Joel does the same.

Then it’s an awkward stare-off. You think of killing the silence with a dry remark, but nothing about the beefy, stern-looking man in front of you seems dry.

You recognize him just as he recognizes you. You’ve seen each other during a few trade-offs. Now - you really fucking wish you’d said hi.

"You need a partner,” you tell him bluntly. Your voice only wavers a little, but as soon as the words leave your mouth, his brows raise in what you think is incredulity. You change course.

“I need a partner,” you clarify. “I need someone to watch my back. You can’t survive out here in a party of one.”

He frowns, scraping a calloused hand over his beard. You think he’s ready to say no, so you reach back into your coffers to grasp something else to offer him. We have guns.

Bingo.

He finally straightens. His eyes are clear and brown as espresso grounds. Long, girlish lashes. “Show me.”

It’s been five years since the outbreak.

***

Joel has these dreams where all of his hair falls out. Sometimes it’s his teeth.

In the very corner of his brain, he recalls that there’s symbolism there.

You’ve forgotten something. You’re forgetting.

He goes and goes and never stops. He does not stop because if he does, all he will have is quiet air and memories. Sarah. The greasy splatter of blood on his chin and beard and how he didn’t notice until days later. He scrubbed his skin until it hurt and turned pink as raw chicken.

What did you do? What did it cost?

Joel cannot find it in him to regret the things he’s done. He lives somewhere in his chest. Not his head - never his head. He doesn’t know what to do with all that emptiness. He wants to fill his nights with something other than the stars or a campfire or a popcorn ceiling in an abandoned house.

I survived. I did what I had to do in a dead, dead world.

You were right. He couldn’t do it on his own.

You are another means to an end. He needs a second pair of hands and you have the face to distract scavengers and the guts to kill people who need to be put down.

He was gonna say yes even before you brought up the guns.

***

You’ve become incredibly intimate with his back. He always walks ahead of you, so you trace the broad line of his shoulders and the molasses-dark curls that cover his scalp. You long to draw patterns in the suede of his sand-colored jacket.

You familiarize yourself with his tells and what it means when he stiffens, hunches or relaxes. His knuckles turn white with how hard they wrap around his gun when he’s somewhere he can’t see all four corners.

He barely speaks. It’s like trying to squeeze water from a stone. Joel is a fucking boulder or maybe a bullet.

A month on the road, you spot a family wailing for help. They’re dragging something that looks suspiciously like a body, and Joel curses. “They’ll have a whole fuckin’ pack on our ass.” He checks his guns, and you think he’s going to shoot them because now their problem is his.

“They have children,” you whisper.

“They’ll kill us,” he replies matter-of-factly. “Kill us or try and take what’s ours. It’s how it goes.”

“That’s it then?”

He remains silent, dragging his thumb along his chin before readjusting his pack. “You’re free to go play Mother Teresa, but I ain’t helping you. I’m headed North, and that’s the end of it.”

He does leave. He storms off, slipping between the trees that line the charred highway. You wait for a second out of spite before chasing after him. He hasn’t gone far. In fact, you think he deliberately slowed his steps so that you could catch up.

***

Joel asks you to play damsel. Supplies are running low. There aren’t many towns nearby, so when a small group of scavengers draws near, you go.

You were never a good actress, but your grief is real. You’ve honed and carved it until it became a weapon. You run toward them with your eyes wide and wet with fear. You choke down sobs that churn from some lost place inside you. Your dead family. Your dead friends. Your dead future. RIP to all that.

Of course, the hunters accept you, their beady little stares cataloging your body under layers of cotton and denim. They lead you into their temporary camp and start a fire. They wrap a blanket around your shoulders that smells like mildew and loam. Just as you suspected, their comforting words begin to have double meanings.

We can’t just give you these things—shelter costs somethin’.

Don’t worry, your pretty head, we’ll keep you safe.

C’mere.

Your palms are damp with sweat. You nod, swallowing a weight. You’ve done this before, but Joel usually turns up before they start getting familiar. Maybe he's unsure. Maybe, there are too many.

Where’s Joel?

It rings through your head. Your ears buzz.

He’s there. You know it. He’s watching and waiting and -

One of the men grips your knee before sliding it up further. He chuckles softly, and you dig your nails into your palm and chew the inside of your mouth.

You remind yourself that this is all part of the plan. You have it down. Act helpless. Get them in a vulnerable spot. Joel enters stage left and makes quick work of them. He’s probably biding his time.

“Now - maybe we can come to -”

Where’s Joel?

Your heart is thudding in the cage of your ribs. It’s in your throat.

“Did you hear what I said, girl? How about -”

The man grunts. There’s a handle sticking out of the top of his skull. He sputters before his eyes roll back and then Joel is there, ripping that blade free and giving you a quick jerk of his chin.

“Stay behind the trees,” he orders before descending on the rest of them.

“Where the fuck is my gun?” the bald one roars as he digs through his pack.

“Mine’s fuckin’ gone, too,” a lanky blonde yells.

Smart Joel. He must have snatched what he could while they were distracted.

As you slip behind a tree, you turn to watch the rest of the carnage. You think it’s in the bag up until the big bald fuck manages to knock Joel to the side so that his shot misses.

Joel up again, which is something he had constantly branded into your head. Never stay down. You’re right fucked if you stay down.

Joel keeps fighting. He’s broad and full of a rage that ripples out of him and shakes the air. The punches he deliver are devastating. The skill he has at killing is a privilege to watch. He is an exploding star hurtling to the earth. A bull barreling through concrete. He’s older than you, but it doesn’t slow him down. Not at all.

You remain low in the trees just as he instructed. Your chest tightens when the lanky blonde socks Joel’s face so hard that his jaw audibly clicks. It doesn’t seem to break his stride because he disposes of him quickly, whipping out a switchblade that he plunges between the blonde’s ribs. Then he’s onto the next one. He’s barely using his guns.

Bullets attract infected.

They’re also precious. Finite supplies.

Right. Good thinkin’, girl.

The sounds coming from the fight are a sharp blend of sawed-off grunts and insults. Joel is the only silent one as he cleaves his way through the chaos. It’s intimidating. It’s unreal.

Something moves on the ground.

The blonde he’d stabbed is still alive, wiggling like a snake. He’s crawling onto his knees, red-soaked fingers shakily grasping his discarded shiv from the dirt.

“Joel,” you yell, but not loud enough. He’s too busy with the bald shithead whose red face is straining as he tries to sloppily defend himself against your partner. The man on the floor rises, arm cocked to deliver a stab to Joel’s lower back and you move without thinking. You sprint forward and tackle him to the floor, arms snagging firmly around his throat. There’s a startling pain in your side before it dissipates. You rely on adrenaline to drive you to the second act.

Quickly, you yank your pocket knife from your jeans and pierce the man’s throat. He squeals before it turns wet. You draw the blade out and bring it down again. It’s not easy and requires all of your strength to break flesh.

It’s unnerving. You’ve killed before, but this disturbs you. He squeals again, but it’s muffled. He choked and snorts.

This little piggy…

Somewhere Joel’s voice sings in your head:

Don’t think. Just kill.

The blonde shivers under your weight, palms slapping out at mud before he curls his fingers into trampled weeds. He takes one final rattling breath and goes still.

You scramble back on your ass, heels kicking up dirt as Joel whirls around to stare at you. His expression is incredulous and it doesn’t fit his face. It’s alien and wrong. He’s usually far too confident and cautious. He knows all outcomes, but this? You saving him? No - he did not expect that.

Joel blinks before carefully stepping over the dead man. He moves toward you, lowering himself so he can meet your eyes. He touches your cheek. “You ok?”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Fine - he-he was gonna -”

“I know,” he finishes and it almost sounds like a thank you.

He grabs your wrist forcing you up. “Let’s do this quickly,” he instructs, gesturing to the backpack, tents, and assorted supplies. It’ll be a good haul.

You nod, already forgetting about the pulsing cut beneath your ribs.

***

You must be getting sick. Your palms feel like weighted lead. Your steps are slow and clumsy. Your skin is screaming hot, and it takes Joel two full days to notice. You’ve stopped in a deserted garage on a lone suburban street. A stale, sweet smell comes from the door that leads into the house, and you don’t want to open it.

Joel searches through boxes and plastic cases while you lean heavily against the cool garage door. He glances at you before doing a double-take. Perhaps, it’s obvious - even in the dark. Perhaps - this is the first time he has truly looked at you since they’ve stopped walking.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,” you mutter even though your head may topple off your neck. Fuck.

Abruptly, he straightens and strides toward you. You catch him rolling his eyes before he stops short. He grasps your face with surprisingly gentle hands. He inhales sharply. “Jesus,” he hisses. “Goddamnit, girl, you're burning up.”

You blink at him, and even that is a chore. Your lids are so heavy, each individual lash stings. You lick your lips. “Mm’ok.”

Without another word, he wraps his arms under your thighs and picks you up bridal-style. “Joel,” you wheeze, your arm flying around his thick neck. The short hairs at the nape tickle your skin. “It’s fine.”

“Quiet.” He grunts before kicking the door open and hauling you into the raw darkness of this deserted house.

“Fuck,” he mutters and places you on the counter. “I’m gonna secure the perimeter…should have done it before hauling ass in here.”

He seems on edge. He doesn’t usually forget shit like that because that shit will get you killed.

You nod before leaning back into the wall. Your head bumps against a cabinet and Joel has the nerve to tell you to be careful.

After a few minutes, he returns.

The kitchen is surprisingly clean. His gaze darts around the space before he picks you up and takes you to the second level. You can hear his boots making soft thumps in carpet. You can see framed photos on the walls. Finally, he settles you on a dusty queen-sized bed.

“Think it’s a cold? The flu?”

In the current world, it could be any number of things. Regardless, you’re beginning to realize what this is. You’d avoided checking it out. You’d buried its burning ache. The knife - the metal. It had to have been dirty.

Had you cleaned it? Were you too busy wanting to help Joel sift through everything that you’d ignored it? How fucking stupid could you have been?

You shake your head.

“You gotta work with me here,” he urges, a brush softer. “What hurts?”

Sighing, you roll onto your side and pull up your shirt. Joel sucks in a breath. Even now it’s throbbing insistently. Feels hot. It had been so small.

You’d forgotten that small, open wounds can lead to fatal infections.

Joel’s hand rests on your hip, a fingertip drags lightly under the puffy flesh and you flinch. It smells like something sick.

“Guessing by your silence, it’s bad.” You try to laugh and it cracks like peanut shells.

“It’s not good,” he replies carefully. “You need antibiotics.”

You’re too scared to inspect the wound. You can imagine it: oozing pus, streaking, swelling, beating like it has its own heart.

“Did you get this during the fight?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, pressing your cheek into the cold blankets.

“And you didn’t clean it?” Joel’s tone rises. You guess that he’s keeping a tight lid on his anger.

“Forgot.”

When he says nothing, you glance at him over your shoulder. His nostrils flare. He’s flexing his jaw. His hands are fists at his sides, but his dark eyes remain on you. He’s thinking, perhaps trying to decide if it’s worth scolding you or ripping you a new one.

What would it matter if you’re already dying?

He takes a deep breath, shakes his head, and abruptly swings his backpack off his shoulder before crouching to the floor. He unzips it and rummages. “Alright, I can clean and bandage it, but you’ll need antibiotics - somethin’ like doxycycline or amoxicillin. May be able to barter with a few people up near Asheville, but that means I’ve gotta leave you for a day, possibly two.”

You freeze.

What?!

Frantically, you twist around to face him. “I’ll-I’ll be alone?”

He sits down on the bed, touches the back of his hand to your forehead. His mouth tenses at the level of heat, but he keeps it there. It’s the most intimate thing he’s ever done.

“This is your life on the line, darlin’.” He runs his other hand through his unruly hair. He keeps his eyes on the floor. “I’ll lock the house down.”

You snort. There is no such thing as locks anymore. Zero law. Break a window. It’s enough.

“There’s no one around here,” he adds pointedly as if reading your mind. “Everything’s been picked clean. I’m sure you’re safe.”

He doesn’t promise it. You’re not sure he’s good at promises.

Everything smells weird. Like old fruit.

“Bye,” you mumble as he reaches for his gauze and tends to the cut.

“Haven’t left yet, hon.”

“But you will.”

He clears his throat.

***

Joel moves fast. He doesn’t stop.

That wound had been festering for days. How did you even fucking walk that far with it? How could you not treat it or ask him to?

He wants to shake you for being so stupid. He wants to watch you wither and die from the injury so that you learn your lesson.

But I’d bring you back. I’d pull you out.

Joel feels something hard lodge in his throat. The trees are green and full of shadows. The highway is marked by broken cars and a few scattered bones.

You’d saved him. You’d gotten hurt saving him.

He really doesn’t enjoy the fact that you’ve slipped your way inside him. You’ve wrapped those nimble little fingers around his ribs and ripped them an inch. He’s creaking. He’s old and getting older and the world is fucking dead. It’s just a rotting corpse and Joel really likes when you sing. Sometimes, they’re just on the road and you’ll start murmuring a tune from the forties or the seventies. You have this soft, breathy tongue for old love songs. Ella Fitzgerald. Billie Holiday. Judy Garland. Dolly Parton.

He can’t stop thinking about your expression when he left. Your eyes were wide with fear, your lower lip trembled as you called after him. You were too weak to sit up. You reached a hand out before dropping it as if it was too heavy. Inexplicably, he rushed back to your side. “I will come back,” he declared.

“Are you sure?”

He stroked your hair just once. He lowered his face to yours. “I will.”

***

Joel kills for the antibiotics. He won’t tell you that even though he’s sure you already know his game. He’s ruthless. He has to be. He didn’t have time to barter.

He returns to you as quickly as he can. He’s shocked at his timing. It’s only been twenty-five hours when he bursts back into the house and runs up the stairs. In the daylight, he realizes that there are bodies in the living room. Pill bottles on the antique coffee table. Stained carpet. The corpses are mummified. He’d left you in a tomb and that makes his stomach turn over.

He’ll clean them up before you come downstairs. You will. You’ll be fine.

He’s almost relieved when he finds you still in bed, but when he gets closer, he blanches. You’re seemingly worse, drenched in sweat and shivering. He folds himself over you, hands on your face as he tilts it up. Your eyes can’t focus on him.

“Hey,” he says, slapping you gently. “Sweetheart - I’m back. I’ve got the medicine.” He reaches around and presses his hand to the wound. It’s hot as an oven, sticky as a melted sweet on pavement. He can smell the infection and he grimaces. “Let’s turn you around.”

He manages to cradle you against his chest before dripping water into your mouth drop by drop. You lick at it, whimpering as the dry skin of your lips cracks. He wets an old towel and lays it on your forehead. He feeds you tylenol and antibiotics. He cleans the wound and worries when you don’t wrench yourself away from his touch. It should sting fiercely, but the pain is diluted beneath the fog of fever.

He cares for you and then waits. It’s a little too similar to when he’d stay up with Sarah when she couldn’t breathe right due to bronchitis or unable to keep medicine down because of a stomach bug.

Let me save you. He thinks. Let me save you this once. He has to seal the memory of Sarah away because it’s too much. It’s agony. He shudders as if he’s placed his fingers on a screaming tea kettle. It wrecks him. He can’t fall apart when you’re already half-gone.

***

In the middle of the night, you touch his jaw, scrape your nails across his beard. “You called me darlin’,” you slur. “Sweetheart.”

“I did,” he confirms as he circles your wrist with his hand. He could squeeze it and it’d break. “Now - sleep.”

You pull his arm down to your face, nuzzle your cheek against the cool metal of his watch. It startles him, but he doesn’t pull away.

“Joel,” you repeat.

“G’night, honey.”

He doesn’t know why he called you that the last few days. Darlin’. Honey. Sweetheart. He’s never done it before.

***

That event changed things. It shifted the air between you. You’d saved Joel’s life and he’d saved yours in return. In all respects, it should have kept their relationship on equal ground. One action had canceled out the other. A debt repaid.

But, it’s different. He is different. He’s always watching you. A bit more protective. A bit more anxious. Sure - he trusts you to handle yourself, but he wants you not to need to handle yourself.

They’re on the road and it’s getting colder. He has people they could rely on for a few weeks of shelter, but it’s a trek.

“I say we make it to California,” you grumble as your boots catch on half-melting frost. “Hawaii.”

“Let me build a boat real fast, then.”

It’s all so much of the same. Walking. Supplies. Ammo. Food. Laundy. River baths. Medicine. Holing up in deserted, dusty homes that still reek of family ghosts.

Then there’s the tension between you. The knot of things unsaid tugging you closer.

You think about him all the time. The shape of his face and the hook of his nose. The jawline. The big brown eyes and thick, umber hair. He’s so big and bulky and protective and, if you could, you’d huddle inside him.

Let me bury myself there all winter. Let me seek your heat.

It comes to a head because it’s inevitable. In a strange house on a strange street near North Carolina, Joel shares a bed with you. Nothing is different. Nothing at all. You roll toward him and place your hand on his chest. He jerks, but doesn’t remove it. His heart is pounding furiously beneath the cotton.

He utters your name gently. You watch his lips fold around the letters.

“You almost died today.”

He snorts. “No - I didn’t.”

Alright - he didn’t. It was only a small scuffle. One gunshot for a backseat of supplies.

But you wanted a reason. Needed a reason to touch him like he had touched you when you nearly died.

“You could’ve,” you reply stubbornly.

He huffs a laugh. “I ain’t dyin on you anytime soon.”

“I know.”

You dig your fingers into his chest, rub them deep until you feel his hand slide over your thigh. He squeezes the meat of it and you wriggle under the covers.

“You sure?” he asks, voice hoarse. He sounds nervous. Good.

Lazily, he turns on his side, his hand wanders up your leg. He hauls you closer so that you’re intertwined, tangled up in limbs. He presses his cheek to yours and curls his fingers behind the crotch of your panties before sinking two of them inside your cunt.

“Oh,” you gasp, clawing at his hair. “Fuck.”

He moves deliberately, stroking your walls until it begins to smart like a bruise. His thumb finds your clit and he teases it, circles with a calloused trigger-happy fingertip.

“Is this what you want?” he murmurs despite it just being the two of you and there’s not a soul for miles except maybe the dead spirits in this house. A happy family. A dog. Gone.

You grip some of his t-shirt and tug it, thighs opening around his hand. You rock down on him as he plays you like his six-string.

You push at his boxers, reach for his cock. It’s hot in your palm. Full and throbbing just like that wound on your side that sewed you both together. He grabs your chin and holds it still. “Tell me,” he demands. “Is this what you want?”

Do you want me?

You nod, chewing your lip as he adds a third finger. He stretches you open. He readies your sex.

“You, Joel,” you reply to seal the truth of it. “You.”

He lowers his head and captures your mouth. Joel kisses you senseless, his tongue sweeping behind your teeth and making itself at home. He drinks, his beard scraping your chin raw. He tastes like leather and ammunition. Sweat. Wood. Generic shampoo. He lifts his head to catch his breath.

“Alright, darlin’.”

***

It is a smoother coupling than you expected. You didn’t think he’d kiss you. Before, you assumed that if this would happen, it would be a cold fuck in the form of stress relief. Not this.

He groans against your teeth. You clasp the back of his head and his soft curls. His rests his forearm beside your face as he bears his weight above you. You watch the muscles in his jaw work with every thrust. The vein in his throat tenses. His chest hitches and you can’t help but lick a clean line up his sternum.

He likes it. His lungs rumble.

His hand slides between them, parting the lips of your cunt to press and tease your clit. Your pussy is wrapped around his length. He drives to the end of you before easing back until only the tip remains. He pushes in again so that you feel every ridge of him. Again. Again. You can hear your body take him. It echoes in the room.

You’re tearing me apart. You’re splitting me. You’re branding me. I can’t breathe.

Do it again.

“Wider,” he urges as his whole body trembles. “Lift your ass for me.”

You do and the angle allows him to plunge deeper.

You know he’s trying hard to fuck you like it doesn’t mean something. He’s rolling his hips and pinning your wrist to the mattress and it feels like the fat head of his cock is punching the bottom of your lungs. It hurts a little and meaningful sex shouldn’t hurt like this. Or maybe it should. Maybe, that's the damn point. You're close to tears because it feels so good and so much at the same time. You can’t help clenching around him, coming like a fountain as he punishes you with another harsh stroke.

“Darlin,” he says in a voice that stings like gravel. It’s one sweet thing given between grunts and groans and the wet slap of skin. It’s all he can offer. He traces the cut along your ribs that hasn’t yet scarred over. He pets it with his thumb as he stares at you intently.

“Say it again,” You bring your knees to his waist, skate your nails down the muscles of his back.

The corner of his lips twitch. “Darlin,” he offers before lowering his mouth a breath from your own. “Darlin.”

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller x you #tlou #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction

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takemebacktowheniwassane · 6 months

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i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

#why did I spend 20 minutes typing this #rant #whizzer brown #falsettos #marvin falsettos #charlotte falsettos #cordelia falsettos #hhhh

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a-d-nox · 2 years

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pluto in aquarius: a prediction of what's to come

this is a huge astrological event, pluto is moving into aquarius for the first time since the late 1700s. last time pluto was in aquarius america fought for independence from britain, uranus was discovered, the french revolution began, the bill of rights was ratified, etc.

so for day one, i want to create predictions of what is to come!

some house matters!!!

TWO PLUTO RETROGRADES WILL OCCUR - june 11th - jan 20th, 2024 is the first so we won't see too much wildness just yet as pluto will return into capricorn during this time and THE FINAL RETROGRADE BACK INTO CAPRICORN will be september 1st, 2024 - november 19th, 2024. then we are full steam ahead with pluto in aquarius until march 9th, 2043.

i personally am NOT a witch or anything wild, everything i am saying is purely theoretical - it is not fated to happen just because i am saying it. i am simply socially aware. i know what's up generally in the world today and what was up in world in the 1700s - "history typically repeats itself."

i live in the usa so my post likely will be slightly more focused there examples wise so i apologize in advance! feel free to comment, dm, or reblog with other examples from your country based on my prediction key phrases.

i am going to start light and get darker so mentally prepare yourself for that (tw: STI/STD outbreaks, war, 9/11, COVID-19, and other abrasive topics that may make people uncomfortable depending on where they are currently reading from) - but we are talking about pluto so... expect the unexpected?!

let's do this.

renewable energy sources

aquarius is electricity, light, inventions, electronics, telephones, televisions, etc while pluto can be change! i recently bought a new tv and the back of the remote has a solar panel instead of a battery pack. i do believe we will see more evolution with technology; perhaps we will see solar changed phones! otherwise pluto is also pollution and natural disasters - the climate is in crisis mode perhaps we will see more responsibility and thus changes in our sourcing of energy! example: recently i read that japan has a great source of geothermal energy. currently the conversion to using this source (instead of coal, gas, and nuclear energy) is being held up by a higher up in the hot spring business who claims switching to a new energy system "threatens centuries-old traditions" (bang - a capricorn term - tradition - so perhaps after the retrogrades are through we will see a major shift in energy sourcing).

general technological advancements/inventions

last time pluto was in aquarius the cotton gin was invented; which aided in quicker production of goods and higher demand for american cotton. i strongly believe this is a general indicator that AI is going to become an even bigger part of day to day life. i have seen AI already replace those who take orders in the panera drive thru, there is a higher demand for philosophy/english grads to help teach AI, etc. aquarius is also new teachers/occupations so AI could become the new teachers OR new careers could be coming in the area of interacting with AI generally so it gains more consciousness. so it could be AI or it could be something else that is only just a dream in the back of someone's mind at this moment in time.

altruistic extremists

we may see utopian dreamers rise up! they are likely to advocate for the deconstruction of pre-existing political institutions in favor of either self governance or egalitarian policies. they will likely do whatever it takes to make this statement; we may see more protests / political statements similar to wynn bruce's.

fanatical/extremist announcers radio/tv

we already have biased stations and channels (fox, abc, cnn, nbc, etc). we are likely to see a further rise in politically biased newscasters and announcers.

demonization of astrology

astrology is aquarian in nature but pluto is fanatics, evil, demonics, etc. the community has been saying about the next world war for a while now. we are moving out of conservative pluto in capricorn, so we may find that those of deep belief systems accusing us [astrologers] of conspiring with the devil if/when something militant arises (similar to how the tarot community gets told constantly by christians that they must be satanists).

something with birds

i don't have this nailed down yet specifically, but both aquarius and pluto are rulers of birds. aquarius is large birds while pluto is wading/swamp birds and/or flesh eating birds. no one freak out and start thinking that i am indicating something like the 1963 horror film the birds. if anything i can see more bird-spread illness and/or parasites. OR pluto can be archaeology! there may be a bird related discovery or something to do with the distant relative of the bird - aka the raptor (dinosaur related).

a new STI/STD discovery/outbreak

aquarius represents the distribution of bodily fluids while pluto is often representative of sexual activity. this could either be an outbreak because pluto can be death, extremes, catastrophes, and/or casualties OR pluto can be ph balance in the body (possible new discoveries for feminine sexual health), kidneys (perhaps a discovery will be linked to the diminished functionality associated with syphilis, hiv, etc and how to combat more symptomatic issues), and even purification (aka a cure perhaps to help viral carriers to no longer pass the sti/std to sexual partners).

collapse of congress / house of commons/representatives

i mean it only stands to reason that the bill of rights was created/approved last time pluto was in aquarius that either those rights will disappear (pluto also represents dictators) OR simply the people rise up and demolish the institution as it stands: "...whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government..."

airplane catastrophes

aquarius rules over planes and pluto can represent accomplices, catastrophes, casualties, b0mbs, and t3rr0r!sm. we may experience another event similar to 9/11 OR we may see air strikes in a potential world war 3 scenario.

societal change: crime, war, leadership, and more

world war 3 is on the horizon so say pluto in aquarius (probably in the wake of election year in the US - when the final retrograde into capricorn concludes). but this could also just be governmental restructuring - this could be seen as rebellions (similar to the French Revolution), the rise of organized crime if good become more scarce, religious shifts (pluto is the antichrist, aquarius is freewill (first amendment), and capricorn is the old church (christian schools of thought)), etc.

aquarian terms i can't think of change in but seem important to note / keep in mind: freethinkers, hamburg germany, heart weakness (biden - perhaps the early death of a president in office?), motion picture (already changing as more theaters close), photography, psychology (we are already starting to care more about everyone's mental health), science (general scientific discoveries?), social affairs (there is always something going on - the question is how big will this be?), society, sweden, syria, and xray.

plutonian terms i can't think of change in but seem important to note / keep in mind: abductions (aliens - ufo sights?), aliases, alibis (governmental riffing similar to how no plan was in place when for COVID-19), assass!nat!0n (hopefully not), betrayal, bootlegging (bootleg tiktok if america bans it?), cemeteries (removal of that method if too many are dying at any giving time - mass graves?), convicts (prison release due to overcrowding? the mega-prison of el salvador?), corruption (governmental likely?), demolitions, earthquakes (more environmental issues?), electrocution, executions (war?), fanatic, extremes, floods (environmental? emigration - society is aquarius after all?), liars, massacres (the rise of crime?), murder, nihilism (the rise of philosophy at the time of war?), ransom (war?), satire (rise of political satire?), stolen goods, and taxes (trump-esque no?).

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#astrology #astro community #astro chart #astro placements #natal chart #pluto #pluto in capricorn #pluto in aquarius #astrology transits #retrograde #pluto retrograde

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iamfitzwilliamdarcy · 1 year

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Thinking about how Kipps is everything an adult supervisor should be and it’s those exact reasons he cannot live with himself being one... this was just supposed to be a post of contrasting block quotes and it’s still mostly that but I added a bit of commentary/context:

“The adult supervisors had zero psychic sensitivity and, since they were mortally afraid of going anywhere near an actual Visitor, never ventured far into a haunted zone. Instead, they hung around on the sidelines, being old and useless.”

- Lucy in The Creeping Shadow

Kipps, meanwhile, during the Guppy escapade:

“The one exception was Kipps, who sat cross-legged in the kitchen, drinking hot chocolate and reading a newspaper. He didn’t have sufficient Talents to do psychic exploration.”

(emphasized because he’s actually in the home, none of Lucy’s adult supervisors have ever done that -- also he’s staying out of the way)

Later, he makes an official suggestion in his capacity as Fittes observer, but when the actual psychic kids reject it, he goes along with their plan anyway. Not only that, they’re actively trying to draw out Guppy and Kipps helps:

“Lockwood inserted his crowbar into a narrow space between a countertop and the cupboard below. ‘Kips and I will start,’ he said. ‘The rest of you keep watch” ....After a bit, he moved back and let Kipps take over with the mallet.

And then :

“We have to go and help him, Kipps,” I said. Kipps didn’t seem to have moved since Lockwood had left the room. His face was white. He gathered his wits. “Yes. We must. Come on.”

He doesn’t end up having to do anything because George finds the Source a moment later but he’s willing! He can’t see the ghost but he’s gonna go help Lockwood fight it!

I don’t have my copy of Screaming Staircase with me to double check so I’ll edit this later-- I can’t remember if Lucy asking Jacobs to come into the house and offer advice is in the book or a show addition, but it’s such a contrast!!!

And then, of course, these are all the reasons that Kipps ends up resigning-

“I just had a realization,” he said when we were on the train and rocking slowly through the south London suburbs. “After the Guppy job. I mean, there we were-- in a house possessed by a wicked and powerful entity, and you all were running around like madmen-- fighting, screaming, being fools-- but dealing with it... I was just a fifth wheel. I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t hear it... I was too old to do anything useful. And that’s what being a supervisor is: it’s a life of sending others out to fight and die. I’ve known that for a while, but it took you to make me realize I couldn’t bear to continue with it.... it was probably another dumb decision... like agreeing to come along with you today. Lockwood says he wants my expertise, but I’m not sure what I can contribute aside from standing around like a fence post. Maybe I can make the tea.”

which like wow! The acceptance that he no longer has Talent, that his leadership can no longer continue to the way it used to -- which is exactly what an adult supervisor should do -- be there for input, listen to the psychic kids, advise and support-- it’s what Kipps does !

we very frequently see Kipps actively engaged with his Team in Whispering Skull and Hollow Boy- obviously he has a Prideful streak, he’s pompous and makes mistakes, but we generally see him trust his team and do his best as a Leader. Again, don’t have my copies with me so can’t make the point further in those books, but also remember the reason he falls into hot water with Fittes in the first place is he goes a little rogue-- and the reason for that is because none of DEPRAC or the other Adults know what’s going on with the Chelsea outbreak, and, in the wake of his agent’s death, Kipps doesn’t want to lose anyone else to arbitrary nonsense (there’s something here in direct contrast to Marissa but maybe I’ll expound more in another post) -- instead, he trusts a Talent he actually knows and makes the best choice for his team members

Which is all to say-- Kipps is a good adult supervisor, but the system isn’t made for good adult supervisors

#quill kipps #mostly #creeping shadow #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #This got wildly out of hand lmao #I lost the point somewhere along the way

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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year

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The Way You Miss Me | Joel Miller (Chapter Four)

Twenty Years and one apocalypse later and you find yourself in Jackson. Convinced that having found one Miller brother, the likelihood of you finding the other was slim, you were in for the shock of your life.

Pairing | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings | Mentions of sexual acts including oral but nothing explicit, mentions of violence but again nothing explicit, and that's about it.

Word Count | 4.3K

Authors Note | Gonna be honest this one was a struggle... I've been working on this for over a week and it's certainly not my best work, bit of a filler so I hope it doesn't disappoint but we'll get into more juicy things with these two in upcoming chapters, I promise. Please let me know what you think - pop into my ask and leave some love or leave some comments and love on the post - it all helps!

Spring had well and truly sprung in Jackson. There was a slight warmth to the air which you had welcomed following the harsh winter you’d been through the previous year. The snow had melted, and you were glad to see some of the community out in the gardens preparing the beds for all the fruits and vegetables they would be trying to grow this year.

It had been a long slog for you and your father since the outbreak. Bouncing from QZ to QZ until the last one had fallen. Then you’d been on your own, crossing state line after state line, settling for short periods of time in settlements before moving on, not sure what you were looking for until you’d fallen right on it, quite literally.

It was snowing heavily and neither you nor your father could see you hand in front of your face. You’d praised God for the thick coats you’d managed to scavenge from a family home, but you weren’t likely to last much longer in this storm if you didn’t find shelter. Always in the back of your mind was the fact that your father was getting on in age. His knees were not what they used to be, and you’d noticed he was slower than he had once been. You’d both stopped keeping count of birthdays and years. Calendars were hard to come by in during the end of the world, but you knew it had been at least 20 years. He’d been several years older than Joel at the time of the outbreak and you both thought he was pushing sixty-seven or sixty-eight now.

Trailing through the snow you could slowly start to make out a huge gate with a perimeter around it. Turning back to yell out to your father that shelter was ahead you found him hunched in the snow on his knees.

“Oh my God!” You’d exclaimed but the sound of the wind whipping the snow had covered it up.

You ran as fast as you could back to him, looping your arm under his elbow to drag him up, “Come on dad, there’s a settlement up ahead, it’s not far I promise.”

“Darlin’, just leave me, go on ahead and come back for me with help.”

You were ashamed to admit that you had considered it. He was a heavy man, the years of travelling and trying to keep you both alive had taken its toll on both of you, but you remembered all the things he’d done for you up until this point and it wasn’t an option. He was coming with you or you’d both freeze to death in the storm.

“Come on, just stand up for me,” You begged, “I promise we’ll be there in less than five minutes, please dad.”

You felt him push himself up, using you to steady himself once he’d stood. You point out in front of you to show him the gate you spotted, “It’s just up there, can you see it?” He nodded and keeping a firm grip on your arm you’d continued trekking through the snow to the gate in front of you. It was imposing and huge, you couldn’t see how far the walls went around due to the snow, but the fact that you could see three figures standing on the top, you’d bet inside was a large community.

“What do you want?!” One of the guards had shouted down to you through the storm.

“Me and my father, we just need somewhere to ride out the storm!” You’d called back, “We don’t need to stay, just somewhere warm until this passes.”

You could see the man who had shouted down to you was talking to the other guard who was stood next to him before he made a signal for someone below him to open the gate. Relief flooded over you, in much the same way it did for your father who promptly collapsed to his knees again.

You did the same as before, looping an arm to try and lift him up but this time he was a dead weight. You could see two figures running through the snow to help you, watching as they picked your father up and rushed him through the main gates. You didn’t take in the surroundings as you followed as quickly as you could behind the figures who were carrying your father, only stopping once they’d pushed through the doors of a makeshift hospital and put him onto a bed.

There was silence as they unzipped his coat and pulled down the scarf he had wrapped around the lower part of his face to shield his skin from the cold when one of them stopped dead and turned around to you.

“Tommy fucking Miller?!”

“Holy fuckin’ shit.”

Within seconds you were enveloped into the strongest hug you’d been given in your life and for the first time since the outbreak began you relaxed a little, returning the strong hug back to him.

“How the hell did you get all the way up here?” He asked, releasing you, leaving his friend to care for your father.

“I could ask the same thing about you.” You replied, “It’s a long fucking story.”

At that moment, you’d been tempted to ask about Joel. 20 years and the end of the fucking world and that man was still front and center in your mind. You had almost opened your mouth to ask when your father’s coughing pulled you from your conversation. You rushed to the bed and took hold of his hand as he looked up at you.

“Sorry Darlin’,” He’d spoken softly, “Guess I needed a rest.”

You’d laughed, mainly through the sheer amount of adrenaline working through your veins and not because you found it funny, “You’ll never guess who we’ve managed to find?” You’d spoken, taking hold of his hand before shifting a little to reveal Tommy behind you.

“Well I’ll never,” your father had spoken, trying to lift himself up in the bed to get a better look, “Never in my life did I think Tommy Miller would come to my rescue.”

“I can’t believe you’re still going, old man.” Was Tommy’s response.

That had been months ago and despite saying you’d leave once the storm had passed, the chance at a semi-normal life for the two of you and the fact that you’d found the only friend you thought you had left was enough to make you stay.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Tommy had greeted a few moments after you’d knocked on his front door.

“Morning Tommy,” You replied, “What’s on the agenda today?”

“I need someone to help me scout a new trail down to the power station and back,” He’d explained as you made your way to the stables, “It’ll make life a lot easier for the guys trying to get it back up to 100% but I wanted to check it first.”

In the few short months, you’d been at Jackson you’d not quite found your place in it. Your father had finally been able to retire, spending his days in the rec hall, the church or the bar with the older elderly population, but you’d bounced around from job to job trying to find the right fit.

The school had been your natural first choice, you’d been three weeks into your history master’s degree when the outbreak had happened so thought teaching history would be good for you, until you realized you had despised most children even before the infected took over the world, so you swiftly packed that in. You’d volunteered to help much out the horses and learn about veterinary care, but you hadn’t particularly clicked with any of the other people who had worked there, so you’d settled for following Tommy around, helping with odds and ends where you could.

Once the horses were saddled up and you were out on the trail you realized what a beautiful day it was. The sky was clear, and it was warm enough to forgo the large jacket you’d been wearing through the winter for something lighter. Maria had packed enough food for the both of you to enjoy on the trail later and as always, Tommy had his hip flask with him, hopefully filled with liquid from one of the pre-outbreak bottles you knew he kept at the back of the cupboard at home.

“So, I have something I need to tell you.” Tommy had admitted when you’d tied the horses up to drink and take a break.

“That’s not ominous at all.” You’d replied, gratefully taking the hip flask from him to take a sip.

“I didn’t tell you at the time because it wasn’t meant to be permanent,” Tommy started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “But now it is permanent I wanted you to hear it from me.”

“Okay, the suspense is killing me Miller, what’s going on?”

“Joel is back.”

You hadn’t realized you’d stopped breathing until you sucked in a shaky breath. Suddenly you couldn’t hear the birds or the running of the stream next to you. All you could hear was the blood pumping in your own ears. Joel. Joel was alive.

“What do you mean, he’s back?” You asked.

“He was here over the winter, maybe a week after you arrived but he was gone the next day, so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning, not with your dad and everything, but yeah, he’s back.”

“Does he know we’re here?”

Tommy shook his head, “Honestly Sunshine he’s been here less than two days, so we thought we’d let him get settled, but Maria is going to talk to him whilst we’re out here.”

Tommy had been closed off about Joel since you’d arrived in Jackson. He’d mentioned that they’d run in the same circle for a while until he’d broken off and joined the Fireflies and Joel had ended up in Boston. He’d told you Sarah had died on outbreak day but was vague with the details and that had been about it. You’d not wanted to press for any more information, trying to tell yourself that it wouldn’t help anyway. You’d found one Miller brother, there was a slim chance of finding the other during the end of the world.

“I can’t believe he’s here.”

“I have to warn you sunshine,” Tommy began, “He ain’t the same man he was before all this.”

You nodded, “Are any of us?”

Tommy chuckled, “I don’t think you’ve changed much at all,” He admitted, “I don’t know how you’ve managed it but you’re still this beacon of joy.” An involuntary snort left your nose, “I’ve done shitty things to keep myself alive Tommy, shitty things to people who didn’t deserve to have shitty things done them, but if you let that consume you, what’s the point of any of this?”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.” Tommy sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Twenty years is a long time when you’re pretty sure someone is dead, I think I mourned for whatever it was we had long ago, so please don’t worry about me Tommy, I’ll be fine.”

***

Back in Jackson, Joel was sat at the dining table in his new home, Maria sat across from him sipping from a cup of coffee. She’d brought it over for him, something from Tommy’s stash apparently. It was bitter but it had been a long time since he’d tasted his favourite drink so despite it burning down his throat, he followed Maria and took a sip of his own.

“How are you settling in?” She asked.

“We’re fine.”

Maria nodded. She realized Joel didn’t trust her and she understood. If he was going to stay here for good, it would take some time for him to warm up to her. She still couldn’t understand why she had to be the one to tell him what was going on. She had become much closer to you than she could ever see herself becoming to Joel, but Tommy had insisted. Something about the female intuition being better for him in situations like this.

“Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush, Tommy wanted me to talk to you about something.”

“I gathered.”

Maria sighed, “I don’t really know much about it, but he told me there was someone you knew, before the outbreak. A girl.”

Joel had been avoiding her eye contact up until this point, but his eyes shot to hers in that moment. Surely, she couldn’t be talking about you. He’d accepted long ago in those first few months that you were gone. Ripped apart by infected or shot by FEDRA before you could get somewhere safe. It was easier that way. Easier to kill you off in his mind so he hadn’t spent the last twenty years of his life mourning not just his daughter but the woman that had made him feel alive for the first time in years.

“Said you had something going over the summer before all this happened,” He could see she was struggling, “Well anyway, Tommy wanted me to tell you that she’s here, been here a while actually, she and her father arrived probably a week before you rolled in the first time.”

Joel tried not to let him emotion show but he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Not only had you made it through the end of the world but so had your old man. Of all the people he had expected to find here it hadn’t been either of you.

“Tommy is talking to her today as well so you both know, we didn’t want you to just run into each other and have the shock of your life, Tommy thought it might bring on some kind of heart attack in you and one baby is enough for us right now, we couldn’t handle Ellie as well.” He knew she was trying to make light of the situation and under any other circumstance he probably would have laughed but he was having a hard time keeping his panic under control. He tried to ground himself, taking deep breaths into his chest. What would you look like now? Had the years of hardship been kind to you? Would you have fine lines at the edge of your eyes like he’d always imagined you would from all your smiling? Would you have scars? What had you both done to keep each other alive until now? All questions he was dying to ask you, but no. He couldn’t do this.

Ellie was enough. One person to rely on him. He’d done unspeakable things to get them here and he couldn’t have someone else to rely on him. Someone else to keep safe. Even in the walls of Jackson where you could almost convince yourself the last twenty years hadn’t happened. He couldn’t be the man he wanted to be for you all those years ago.

“Well, I appreciate you tellin’ me Maria,” He spoke finally, “But that was a long time ago and I got other things to be focusing on now.”

“Of course,” Maria was standing up to leave, “I best be going, but maybe you should consider bringing Ellie to the bar tonight, it’s been a couple of days and I’m sure the rest of the community would like to meet the new arrivals.”

He waved her off with a promise they’d think about it, silently knowing he wouldn’t be going.

“So we’re going right?” He heard Ellie’s voice at the top of the stairs, “I’ve always wanted to go to a bar.” “What did I tell you about eavesdroppin’?”

***

You’d been shooting back whiskey since you’d arrived at the bar and it was now settling in your stomach and going straight to your head. Your father was sat opposite you, facing the door. You’d not told him about Joel being here, why you’d kept it to yourself you weren’t sure, but Tommy had explained on the ride back that Maria was going to invite him to the bar that night, get him to do the rounds and meet everyone that he could.

You’d almost considered staying home, but your father had insisted on bringing you out and you knew if Joel was here to stay you couldn��t avoid him forever. You needed to get this over with as soon as you could. That didn’t stop the dull ache of anxiety settling in your chest.

Every time the door opened; you’d watch your father’s expression for the telltale sign that it was Joel that had walked in. About an hour ago a flash of recognition had flashed across his face, but it had just been Mr Grady from the house across from yours. They’d had some idle chatter before the rest of Mr Grady’s family had joined you at the table where they’d been sat for a while.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Your father asked.

“Hmmm?” You hummed in reply.

“Paul just asked you a question,” He said, pointing to Mr Grady, “And you were miles away.” “Oh, sorry,” you apologized, “I guess my head is somewhere else tonight, what did you ask?”

“How was the trail today?” “It was fine, clear apart from some fallen trees but it won’t take much to clear them, no signs of infected or raiders either.”

“Good, it’ll be good for the lads to have an easier way to get down every day.”

You’d nodded, knocking back the last of your whiskey and standing up before the front door creaked open. You almost knew what to expect before you looked to your father who looked almost like he was about to pass out. You turned around, glass in hand and there he was. Joel Miller in all his glory.

He was still tall and imposing, broad in the shoulders, but his hair and beard had a spattering of grey hair and the expression on his face was hard, cold even. Stood next to him was a girl, surely no older than Sarah would have been when you’d last seen her. She had a look of wonder on her face as she took in the bar, the look of wonder every person who hadn’t been around before had when they saw something from the time before this.

You’d been fine until Joel’s eyes snapped to yours. Your breath hitched in your throat and the glass you’d been holding fell and smashed on the floor, causing the low chatter to stop around the bar. Everyone was looking at you now, “Sorry.” You muttered, dropping to your knees to pick up the larger pieces of glass, more for a distraction than anything else.

By the time you’d stood up and sat back down in your seat, Joel was at the bar with Tommy and the young girl. Even with his brother you could tell he was tense. Tommy hadn’t been lying when he said he was different.

You’d been half listening when your father had explained that the two of you had lived close to Joel and worked together before everything went down, keeping your eyes trained on his back as he gladly accepted a glass of whiskey from Shane behind the bar. Tommy shot you a look over his shoulder whilst Joel took a drink, somewhere between an apology and a questioning look as to whether you were alright. You nodded softly in his direction that you were fine, or as fine as you could be under the circumstances.

Mr Grady and his family left pretty quickly after that, something about his grandson being out on patrol early, leaving just you and you father at the table.

“If anyone was gonna survive this thing it was always going to be that man,” Your father mused, sipping the last of his drink, “Just didn’t think he’d ever find this place.”

You were half listening to him, giving him a nod in reply as you watched Tommy point to your table. You could have sworn Joel shook his head in response, but you wouldn’t bet money on it but then Tommy was pulling the open lapel of his jacket and turning him round, pushing at the small of his back towards your table.

Within seconds, Tommy, Joel and the nameless girl were stood by your table, and you thought once you might pass out again. The last time you’d seen Joel had been the night before the outbreak. You’d snuck out to wish him a happy birthday which had of course lead to him splitting you open in the back of his truck, pulling three orgasms from you before you’d sucked him off and let him cum down your throat. He’d kissed you goodbye and promised to see you that weekend and that had been the last of it.

“If it ain’t Joel Miller,” Your father greeted, struggling in his old age to stand from his chair, extending his hand out to him which he took, “Welcome back, you old man.”

“It’s good to see you again,” Joel replied, refusing to look at you, “Of all the people I thought to see here with my brother I’ve gotta admit I didn’t think it would be you.”

Your father was still standing, using his hands to steady himself on the table, “Can’t say I can take much of the credit, it’s all thanks to this one.” He nodded his head towards you.

Finally, he was looking at you. You didn’t really know what you’d expected but he was looking at you like he’d never really seen you before, despite knowing the most intimate parts of you and that hurt.

“Hi Joel,” You greeted quietly, holding out your hand which he took just long enough to give your hand a squeeze before letting you go like he’d been disgusted at touching you, “It’s good to see you again.”

He stared at you for what felt like forever until the girl next to him piped up in conversation, “So, can I have a drink?”

“No, you cannot.” Joel was quick answer, “You’re not old enough.”

“Dude, c’mon, it’s the fuckin’ apocalypse, just a little one.”

“Ellie, I said no.”

She looked like she was going to challenge him for a second but decided against it, then she looked to you, “How do you guys know each other?”

You went to open your mouth but your father cut in, “We used to work together, started my business and these guys came along to help with everything, and my girl here used to look after Joel’s daughter in the evenings before she went off to study.”

You watched Joel tense when your father mentioned Sarah, twenty years was never enough time to get over losing your first born.

“I’m Ellie, nice to meet you.” She directed in your direction.

You smiled warmly at her, you already liked this girl, whoever she was to Joel, “It’s lovely to meet you, Ellie.”

“Well, it’s been good to see you Joel, hopefully we’ll see you both around a bit more, but I think it’s time for this one to get me home.”

Silently thanking your father for saving you anymore embarrassment you quickly put your jacket on, rounding the table to loop your arm in his to escort him home. He was perfectly capable of doing it all on his own, but the two of you liked to be as close to each other as possible since his scare in the snow and after years of him looking after you it was only right you were starting to repay the favour now.

“Goodnight.” You spoke softly to Joel as you walked past him, stopping a few seconds near Tommy to agree to help him with something the following day before leaving.

***

Later that night, when Joel had finally gone to bed his mind was racing. He and Ellie had stayed just long enough at the bar to not seem rude before he made his excuse and took them both home. She’d gone up the stairs to her room leaving him at the kitchen table with bottle of whiskey Tommy had given him from his stash.

You hadn’t really changed at all. You’d aged, but even during the end of the fucking world you’d managed to do it gracefully. The smile lines he’d drawn in his mind were exactly where he’d thought they’d be, your hair had a small spattering of greys in it and there was a scar that sliced through your top lip which told him however you’d managed to survive it hadn’t been easy. But you were still you, with those big, beautiful eyes he’d remembered and your soft voice that could have begged him for anything and he’d have given it to you.

He certainly wasn’t the same man, not the man you’d wanted all those years ago on his back porch in the heat. He was old, damaged and had more emotional baggage now than he had back then. He knew he had to stay away from you, he couldn’t allow himself to give into what he really wanted because he knew, deep down, that he would fail. He couldn’t be the romantic man he’d been before, lying you down and spending hours pulling sounds of pleasure from you in his bed, wishing that he could take you out and hold your hand for everyone to see but knowing he couldn’t.

Things were very different now and that would just mean having to keep his distance, he couldn’t risk another attachment, Ellie was enough for him. If only he’d known that a few streets over you were lying in your bed thinking the exact opposite, thinking about how you could get as close to him as possible and rekindle what you’d had, then he’d have known it was all over before it had even begun.

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#Joel Miller #Pedro Pascal #The Last Of Us #The Last Of Us HBO #tlou #thou HBO #Joel Miller Smut #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel miller x female reader #Joel miller x f!reader #TWYMM #Joel miller Pedro pascal

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covid-safer-hotties · 1 month

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Health experts warn against COVID complacency in schools amid surge - Published Aug 25, 2024

Health experts are urging school staff and families to take active steps to mitigate the spread of COVID-19 amid rising infections as school districts stick to their previous plans to combat the virus similarly to how they would the flu or strep throat.

Weekly deaths from COVID-19 have steadily risen in the United States since mid-June, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) COVID Data Tracker.

And wastewater viral activity for the disease — which is monitored as a means of detecting where a potential outbreak may occur — has gradually climbed since May, with the national level now “very high,” according to the CDC.

The rising rates are having little effect on the start of the school year, however. Schools have largely chosen to treat COVID-19 like RSV or the common flu, at the recommendation of health organizations like the CDC.

“COVID forever changed the landscape of education. As it stands now, in both districts (Meridian CUSD 223 and Oregon CUSD 220) I have the pleasure of leading we are moving forward full steam ahead and treating COVID in the same form and fashion we would treat influenza or strep throat,” said PJ Caposey, superintendent of Meridian School District in Illinois.

“The impact COVID has had on schools and on society cannot be understated, but currently it is not impacting how we operate and serve kids,” he added.

School districts are still feeling tremendous impacts from the coronavirus and the widespread closures it drove earlier in the pandemic, such as students struggling to catch back up academically.

Recent data from nonprofit research group NWEA found that students going into high school are a full year behind academically.

Since the CDC has classified COVID-19 under the umbrella of respiratory illnesses, in the same category as the flu, schools have dropped precautions previously put in place to mitigate the spread of the virus such as masks or social distancing.

Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD), for instance, previously had policies requiring students and faculty to stay out of school longer if they contract COVID-19 and to wear masks for a certain period when they came back.

LAUSD posted on social media in August that due to high vaccination rates, COVID-19 will be treated like RSV. The district stressed that those with COVID-19 need to stay home if they have symptoms or a fever and cannot come back until symptoms start improving and the fever is gone for 24 hours without medicine.

Amid the current rise in COVID-19 cases and with another likely surge looming during the fall or winter months ahead, health experts are urging school communities not to become complacent when fighting against the virus’s spread.

The most important thing families and school staff can do to protect themselves is to get vaccinated, according to Jodie Guest, senior vice chair of epidemiology at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health.

As of May, only about a quarter of U.S. adults and about 14 percent of children were reported to be up to date on a COVID-19 vaccination, according to CDC data.

The Food and Drug Administration approved updated Moderna and Pfizer COVID-19 vaccines Thursday to more closely target the recent strains of the virus, as well as potential fall and winter variants.

Adults and children 6 months and older are eligible for the updated vaccines, according to the CDC. Children 5 years old and up will need one shot of an updated vaccine to remain current, while children between 6 months and 4 years old might need multiple shots.

The updated shots will likely be on pharmacy shelves within “the coming days.” Those who have recently been infected with COVID-19 can delay getting the updated vaccine for up to three months, per CDC guidelines.

On top of getting the shot, Guest encourages school staff and parents to regularly test themselves and children for COVID-19 infections because testing “still really matters.”

“If your kid comes home and is not feeling well and showing signs that might be COVID, might be something else, going ahead with at-home testing is an important way to stop spread in your family and to stop spread in schools,” she said.

Sick adults and children should test themselves multiple times at home to ensure they do not have the virus, Guest said. If a first at-home antigen test is negative, she recommends taking a second test 36 to 48 hours later “to make sure it’s a true negative.”

School staff members who think they are sick should stay home, health experts agree. Parents should also keep their children home from school if they are sick to reduce the chance of spreading COVID-19 to others.

“If you are sick, stay home. Don’t infect others,” said David Weber, epidemiologist and associate chief medical officer of UNC Health Care.

While COVID-19 infections are typically less severe in children, kids can still suffer complications from contracting the virus, like long COVID, which may appear differently in adolescents than in adults.

Children can also serve as vectors for the virus, potentially spreading it to more vulnerable people like older relatives.

“You really don’t want to bring this home particularly if you have grandparents living with you,” said Andrew Pekosz, a professor at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health who studies respiratory illnesses including COVID-19.

However, it appears unlikely that schools will change their standards to fight COVID-19 without official recommendations from the CDC.

“Schools put measures in place through the COVID-19 pandemic to mitigate the spread of infection including vaccination clinics, cleaning procedures, and mitigation protocols that should be followed just as with any other communicable diseases such as the seasonal flu,” said Jeanie Alter, executive director of the American School Health Association, a group that supports health professionals in schools and advocates for healthy school environments.

“It will be important for schools to review and update these practices and continue with best practice guidance from reputable science-based organizations such as CDC,” she said.

#covid #mask up #pandemic #covid 19 #wear a mask #coronavirus #sars cov 2 #public health #still coviding #wear a respirator

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unreliablesnake · 1 year

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I shouldn't love you, yet here we are (Joel Miller x reader) - part 1

Summary: Years after your fruitless “Joel phase”, Tommy shows interest in you, and the playful flirting shifts into your first date. Joel isn't too fond of the idea of you dating his brother.

Note: This is gonna be a series with shorter and longer chapters. There's Tommy x reader stuff, but they won't last. Especially with Joel around. / I take full responsibility for mistakes and typos and stuff. I didn't proofread it. I'm so bad. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Part 2

Warnings: afab!reader (will be relevant in later chapters), dbf!Joel, age gap (reader is around 30, Joel is in his early 40s), no outbreak, I fucked with time and this takes place a few years after the beginning of the game, not the series. (So it's the mid/late-2010s)

Despite moving out to an apartment in downtown Austin a few years ago, you still visited your parents every weekend, sometimes staying over in your room for the night if they invited some people over and you had fun. This was one of those Saturdays when your dad turned on the grill and held a good old barbecue party in his home for a few friends, some you hadn’t seen in months.

The Millers came over too, of course. Joel and Sarah lived a few houses down the street, while Tommy usually tagged along because why not. Your father loved them, especially the older Miller, but you were more interested in his brother with whom you had been flirting with back and forth for months now.

“I swear your dad’s burgers are the best in town,” he said with his mouth full. He wasn’t wrong; your dad was a chef in a very good restaurant so he definitely knew what he was doing. “You sure you’re not hungry? I’ll give you a bite if you want,” he offered.

“He tested a new recipe on me for lunch. I’m full, trust me,” you replied with a laugh as you sat down next to him on the sofa, sitting so close that your thighs brushed.

Tommy didn’t even flinch. It was oh-so-natural for the two of you by now, like you had already been dating for a long time. But it wasn’t the case, for some reason he hadn’t asked you out yet. It hurt your pride, sure, but you assumed he just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted. You were giving him the signs to make him understand you were ready, but he just wasn’t picking up on them.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Joel talking to your dad, and for a moment the both of them turned their attention to you. While your father flashed a smile at you, there was a look on Joel’s face that you couldn’t quite decipher. It was as if he disapproved of what was happening between you and his brother, but at the same time there was something else, something closer to disappointment. Not the kind when you’re disappointed in a certain someone, more like when you’re disappointed in a situation.

If it even made sense, that is.

Taking a deep breath, you tore your gaze away from them and turned to Tommy instead. “What are you doing tomorrow?” you asked, hoping he would finally get the hint.

“We’re taking Sarah to the zoo,” he replied without hesitation.

“Oh,” you said disappointedly.

But then he put down his now empty plate and turned to look at you. “Why?”

“I just thought you should come over. You know, we could order something to eat and watch a movie or something.”

Or something. As in him finally making a move on you and the two of you getting stuck in your bedroom for the rest of the night. That would make you feel good, especially since you hadn’t slept with anyone since this flirting with Tommy began. Whether he was seeing women during this time was a mystery, but you sure as hell didn’t want to complicate things in case he suddenly admitted his feelings for you.

He watched you for a while in silence, the gears in his head clearly turning as he thought about your suggestion. Then he stood up and your heart sank. Was he leaving you behind like this? Did you say something wrong?

But he smiled down at you eventually. “I’ll check with Joel and Sarah if they can manage without me,” he said with a wink.

With a laugh you waved him goodbye and wished him luck, then watched as he caught his brother and niece who were talking to your parents. They were out of earshot, so you had no idea what they were saying, but at one point your mom said something to Tommy that made him put his hand on the back of his neck nervously, and you didn’t miss the way Joel’s jaw tightened all of a sudden as he glanced over at you.

Your mom had noticed the flirting between you and Tommy a month or two ago, and she had been supportive since the beginning. “He’s such a nice guy,” she said happily. So this is why you wouldn’t be surprised–and be totally mortified–if she had suggested it would be a date. That would explain the younger Miller’s reaction, but Joel’s? Not so much.

A few years ago you would have given everything to be noticed by him. He was the gold standard; a nice and hardworking man who was also a dedicated and good father. Your dad had once made a comment that you should date someone like him, not some idiot who was only thinking about partying.

But despite your best efforts to get his attention, Joel always kept his distance. You were hurt a bit, but soon accepted that he just wasn’t interested in you. Hell, as far as you knew from snippets of your parents’ conversations, he hadn’t really been interested in anyone since the divorce.

Years passed and lately Tommy took an interest in you apparently. You didn’t mind the attention, in fact you found it flattering, you just wished he would finally man up and tell you exactly what he wanted from you. Was it just innocent flirting? Or did he have other intentions?

So you waited and kept playing this game with him, hoping he would come around at one point.

“When should I arrive?” Tommy asked with a grin when he returned to you.

The two of you discussed the details, then you left to help your mom with a few things in the kitchen. She was watching you with a wide grin as she rested her hips against the counter. You raised an eyebrow, silently asking what she wanted to tell you.

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” she said, earning a surprised look from you. “The date. Finally!”

“It’s not a date, mom.”

Laughing, she waved her hand and picked up a half-empty bottle of wine. “Well, after I planted the seed with an innocent comment, he sure believes it is,” she explained as she read the label on the bottle. “You’re welcome,” she added as she glanced at you for a moment.

A part of you was mad at her for meddling in your private life, but at the same time another part was happy she made him realize what he wanted. In the end the latter part won and you hugged her tightly while saying thank you over and over again. She laughed at this as she rubbed your back with her hand.

In the rest of the evening you chatted with other guests, happy to meet some people you hadn’t seen since you graduated from college. Your mom’s friend from high school, the one who moved to Seattle a few years back, said you were glowing, and you told her it was because you were truly happy with your life right now.

As the guests began to go home, Tommy and Sarah also lined up to leave, much to your disappointment. But Sarah had to wake up early the next day for some reason, and his uncle offered to take her home and keep her safe until your dad and Joel talked some more in private.

You flashed a sad smile at Tommy, who pulled you into a hug and placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head. “See you tomorrow,” he whispered. “There’s one thing, though, a change in the plan. We’re going to the Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio with Joel and Sarah, so we’re leaving early in the morning. It’s gonna be fun,” he added with a playful smile.

No, it wouldn’t be fun. You didn’t tell this to him, of course, but this is how you felt. Did you love these places? Sure. Did you wanna go there with him? Of course, that would sound like fun. Would having other two people joining you on your date make it more fun? Absolutely not. You loved them, but you wanted to be alone with him.

“Sounds great,” you lied with a forced smile when you leaned back to look him in the eye.

They left, and as you were heading upstairs to hit the shower and get in bed, you bumped into Joel at the top of the stairs. It seemed like he tensed up when he noticed you, and for some reason you felt like you had done something wrong. Where was the nice Joel you had known so well? The one who would crack a terrible joke to start a conversation?

“Going to bed already?” he asked you, his brown eyes moving to his watch as he spoke. You nodded, deliberately not saying a word. “I’m glad you’re coming with us tomorrow.”

I’m not, you wanted to say. “Sounds like fun,” you lied once again. The corners of his lips curled into a smile as he carefully studied your face, but he remained silent, as if he was waiting for you to say something, to finally break the ice. “Why did you change the plan? When Tommy went to ask you if it would be okay if he came over to my place instead of being with you, the plan was going to the zoo, not to fucking San Antonio.”

Joel took a deep breath as he rubbed his face with his hand almost guiltily. “You two aren’t glued to me and Sarah, and it’s a big park,” he replied, knowing full well what he had done with his suggestion. “I’m sorry if I screwed up your plans, okay?”

“You’re right, it’s a big enough place for the four of us,” you said with a nod. “Good night, Joel.”

But when you wanted to walk past him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. “Why him?” he asked quietly with a weird glint in his eyes. “You know what he’s like with women, I’m sure you don’t want things to be awkward once he gets bored of you,” he said with brutal honesty.

This was something you had already considered. Yes, Tommy was known for being a charmer who often looked for new challenges, but maybe you could change him. And even if you couldn’t, you were adults, you were sure you could handle it. “I’ll take the risk,” you replied quietly.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, sweetheart,” he told you softly.

Feelings from six years ago emerged at his tone and the pet name. That was the first and last time he had talked to you like this, being this warm and nice and caring. That was the day you began to yearn for him, when you decided to try and get him no matter how bad it would be considering his friendship with your dad.

*********

It was after a friend’s birthday party. You were still living at home at the time, and you got home early in the morning, around three or maybe four. You were drunk, and completely forgot that Joel stayed with you for a few days because of some bug situation in their house. Tommy’s place at the time was too small for the three of them, that’s why only Sarah stayed there with her uncle.

You barely made it past the door when you felt like throwing up, so you quickly rushed to the kitchen and let the contents of your stomach end up in the sink. Your high heels were a little too loud, and Joel woke up to the sound, probably hearing you puke as well. Before you knew it, he was leaning against the counter next to you with his arms folded over his chest.

“You okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” you asked, sounding a little ruder than intended. “Sorry, I just feel like shit.”

With a sigh, Joel reached over to pull your hair back when you threw up again. It was embarrassing and you wished you could just crawl into a hole and die. But you were here, and the older Miller was doing his best to help. When you reached for a glass to get some water, he was quick to stop you.

“Only take one sip every once in a while, okay?” he asked as he poured you some water. “You don’t wanna end up vomiting again.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took the glass from him.

“Did you have fun?”

You nodded without hesitation. It was a great party, and you told Joel some fun stories that probably didn’t sound so fun to an outsider. He wasn’t there, he didn’t know your friends, so he probably didn’t even care. But he listened, and it felt good to tell someone about your evening, knowing your parents would rather not hear your party stories.

There was something about the look in Joel’s eyes that you didn’t understand. Despite being drunk as hell, you could have sworn there was longing in there, something you definitely wasn’t expecting to see. But now that you took a good look at him, you noted once again how handsome he looked in the middle of the night.

“Go to bed,” he told you hoarsely before clearing his throat. “Can you get upstairs on your own?” When you nodded, he leaned over to place a soft kiss on your temple, then turned around to go back to sleep on the couch.

You remained there for a minute or two, wondering what this was all about. But then you felt your legs slowly giving in, so you went to your bedroom and slipped under the covers to get a few hours of sleep. Sleep with dreams that were full of Joel fucking Miller.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x you

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finnsbubblegum · 1 year

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More Than Life (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: 18+, reference to smut, fluff, sweet joel, protective joel, violence, mentions of cannibalism, age gap (reader is in her 20s and Joel is in his 50s) (lmk if i missed any)

Summary (Series): You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight. But he felt insecure.

Summary: Pov: You went to join Joel on patrol without his knowledge. Who knows what happens next?

Words count: 2k

A/N: This is part 6 for I Don’t Deserve You series. But it can also be read as a standalone. Hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

11.49

You were pacing back and forth in your living room waiting for Joel. 11 more minutes and your birthday would be over. You would be disappointed if you didn’t spend your birthday with him. Birthdays were always a thing for you, especially this was your first birthday since you were dating Joel. But on the other side, you were also worried that something bad happened. Which might be the reason why he was late.

*knock on the door*

You ran to your door and opened it.

“Sorry, I’m late.” Joel was panting.

He looked really tired. You knew he came straight to your house right after patrol. He was full of sweat as he didn’t even have the time to take a shower.

“Thank God you’re here. I thought something bad happened to you.” You jumped to hug him.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” He hugged you tight. You kissed him.

“I-Ugh-I didn’t have the time to take a shower. I’m dirty.” He put his hand behind his neck.

“I don’t care. What matters is that you’re here with me.” You took his hand and dragged him inside.

“I got you somethin’.” He took off his backpack.

“You got me a present?” Your eyes widened. You loved getting presents.

“Happy birthday, darlin’.” Joel took out something from his bag and gave it to you.

“A book? How did you get it?” You wondered.

“Found it at an abandoned house during patrol. Haven’t seen that one on your bookshelf. Thought you might like it. Heard it was a famous one.”

“Jane Eyre?” You read the title and the summary behind the book.

“Interesting. I love it. Thank you so much, Joel.” You hugged him again and kissed him.

“You really need to stop hugging me now. I’m being self-conscious. I’m smelly.” He chuckled.

You didn’t care what he said. Instead, you moved closer to him and sniffed him like a puppy, teasing him.

“Stop it.” He laughed.

“Wish I could go out and find more books.” You started that conversation again.

“I’ll get you more when I go on patrol.” He sighed.

“But I-” Joel cut you.

“We’re not talking about this again. You know what my answer is. The answer is always no. End of conversation.” His expression changed from happy to angry.

You stayed quiet.

“Are we clear?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yes.” You replied coldly.

“Repeat it.”

“Clear.” You rolled your eyes.

You didn’t listen to Joel this time. Instead, you found Liam who was responsible for making the patrolling schedules. You asked him about Joel’s and you applied to join. You told him not to tell Joel as you were keeping this as a secret from Joel. You practiced your shooting skills until it was the day of your first patrol.

“Why are you here?” Joel furrowed his brows.

“I’m here for patrol.” You acted dumb.

“What?” He raised his voice.

You avoided his eyes.

“Did you not remember what I told you? How did you even-”

“Well, it’s too late, Joel. I’m here now. I’ve prepared myself. I’ll be fine.” You insisted.

“Fine. Just stick with me. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

You and Joel rode the same horse. You put your arms around his waist and rested your head on his back. That day, you went on groups with Joel, Noah, and Sam. Noah was the leader for the day.

“Okay, so we’re gonna split here. I’ll go check north with Joel. Sam, you go south with (y/n). We’ll meet here in 4 hours then we’ll go east and west.” Noah commanded.

“I’m sorry, Noah. But (y/n) needs to go with me. I need to keep my eye on her.” Joel added.

“I’m not a kid, Joel. I’ll go with Sam. We’ll meet you here.” You gestured to Sam to ride the horse with you.

Nothing bad happened while you were patrolling with Sam. You wondered why Joel didn’t allow you to patrol. Was he lying to you? You wondered why he wouldn’t let you see the beautiful nature outside Jackson walls.

“Hi there!” Two men suddenly showed up.

Sam stopped the horse. You grabbed your gun and aimed at them.

“We’re not a threat.” The strangers said.

You and Sam got off the horse and talked to them. You tied the horse at the tree.

“Can we help you?” Sam asked.

“Yes, we’re hungry. We have a group with us and we need something to eat.”

“Well, we don’t have food with us now. But we can get you something.” Sam answered.

“Or we can help you hunt here?” You added as you saw they didn’t look like they had any weapons.

“Sure, thank you so much.”

Sam and you walked in front of them and turned into hunting mode. You had never hunted before so you just followed Sam.

*Sam screamed*

You turned to look and you saw the two men stabbed Sam from behind.

“Sam!” You looked at him as he fell to the ground. You grabbed your gun and aimed at the men.

“Back off!” You shouted.

“Easy, pretty girl. We’re not gonna kill you. We need your friend to fill our stomach. But you.. You’re pretty so you can give something else to us.” The stranger smirked.

“Go! Run! Get Joel and Noah!” Sam shouted.

You hesitated to leave him but you knew you couldn’t fight these two men alone. So you ran. Hoping Sam would still be alive when you got back there with help.

“Get her alive!” The stranger shouted at his friend.

Both of them ran behind you to catch you. You ran as fast as you could. Your friend’s life was on the line and so did yours. You ran and got to your horse.

“Come on! Go!” You yelled at the horse and it ran.

You ran north and you were losing them. It was a bit far until you saw Joel’s and Noah’s figure.

“Joel! Joel!” You shouted.

“Did you hear that?” Noah asked Joel.

“What?” Joel was deaf one ear so he didn’t hear you.

“Joel! Help!” Your horse kept running.

“That’s (y/n)!” Noah looked back.

“Fuck!” Joel panicked.

You finally got to them. You immediately got off the horse and ran to Joel’s embrace.

“What happened? Where’s Sam?” Noah panicked too.

“There’s-there’s some men- He’s hurt- We need to save him!” You screamed.

“Hey, hey. You okay? You hurt? Anythin’?” Joel checked you up and down.

You panted and shook your head. The three of you walked towards the south going back to save Sam.

“Oh my God. It’s them.” You saw the two men running near you.

“Stay behind me.” Joel shoved you behind him and got ready with his rifle. Noah did the same.

“My friend here told me you hurt our friend. Where is he?” Noah pointed his gun to the strangers.

“Easy, easy. We’re just here for the girl. Just give us the pretty girl and we’ll give you back your friend.” One of the strangers tried to bargain.

“Joel…” You pulled Joel’s shirt from the back.

He glanced at you for a second and looked back at the strangers.

“That’s not gonna happen.” He growled.

“What? Is she your daughter or something?” The other men scoffed.

“You better be careful of what you say next.” Joel’s blood boils. His grip on the rifle got tighter.

“All of us are men. I’m sure you know what we need. Especially that pretty girl right there has a fucking sexy body. She’s probably a slut that all of you have fucked. Why don’t you share with us?”

You were shaking. You were scared. You just understood why Joel insisted on you not going out for patrol. You should have listened to him in the first place.

“You want to do this the hard way or the easy way?” Joel’s patience was running out.

“What’s that?” The stranger got cocky.

“I’ll let you go if you apologize to her right now.” Joel gave them an option.

“Or what?” The stranger laughed.

“Or this will be a bloodbath.” Joel gave them a death stare.

“Just apologize, man.” Noah was nervous. He knew what Joel was capable of.

“All of this just for the slut?” The stranger laughed.

*gunshot*

Joel couldn’t hold himself. He shot him at the leg. Noah fought the other guy.

“Apologize!” He yelled at the guy and pressed the wound.

“You’re not gonna kill me.” He was still cocky.

Joel shot him again at the other leg.

“Fine! Fine! I’m sorry!” He cried.

“For what!” Joel yelled at his face.

“Sorry for calling you a slut!” He apologized while looking at you.

You flinched when Joel shot him at the head after he apologized. You were trembling and speechless.

“No!” The other guy cried.

Joel's breathing was heavy and he looked to the other guy that Noah was holding. He shot him dead.

“Joel! What the fuck!” Noah yelled.

“Let’s get Sam. Where is he?” Joel didn’t care he killed them. They were threats.

“He-he-he’s there.” You guided Joel and Noah to Sam.

“Sam!” You ran to him.

“You’re gonna be okay. We’re safe now.” You cradled him.

The four of you went back to Jackson and got Sam help. Then you and Joel went home.

*Joel slammed the door*

You flinched. You were avoiding having conversation with Joel since what happened on patrol.

“What the fuck were you thinkin’?!” Joel yelled at you.

Your hands started to shake. You had never seen him like this before.

“I told you it was dangerous! Why are you being so stubborn!”

“I-I’m sorry.” You stepped back from him. Tears welling in your eyes.

“You’re never going anywhere closer to the gate. Ever! You hear me!” He raised his voice.

You nodded as you wiped your tears from your cheeks.

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose, looked up, closed his eyes, and sighed. He took a deep breath in and out trying to calm himself down. Meanwhile, you were just standing there frozen. You were too scared to move.

“Baby, I-I’m sorry.” He apologized.

You just nodded and kept crying.

“Come here.” He stepped closer to hug you but you instinctively stepped back.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I would never hurt you.” He slowly walked closer and hugged you.

“I just-I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ve lost the people I loved and I don’t want to lose one again. I swear on my life, I will never fall in love again. Not after losing Sarah, Sarah’s mom, Tess. Losing someone I love is the last thing I want to have in this fucked up world. But then I met you. You changed me. You make me believe that there’s still hope. Love. Happiness. I will protect you with my life no matter what happens. I love you more than my life. You should know that.” He stroked your head up and down.

You started sobbing and hyperventilating at his words.

“I love you, too.” You mumbled at his chest.

Joel cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead. He looked at you through your eyes as his thumb wiped your tears from your cheeks.

“Are we cool now?” His voice was now softer.

You nodded and rested your head on his chest.

The night carried on with you and Joel having make-up sex in your bedroom.

Joel groaned as he fell on top of you catching his breath. He came inside you.

“Did you just cum inside me?” Your hands were resting on his back.

Joel froze for a second.

“You forgot to pull out.” You repeated.

“Shit.” He got up and sat facing you as you propped yourself with your elbow facing him.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“I mean-You gotta have a lot of sex to get pregnant right?” You needed assurance from him.

Having a child and being a mother was always your dream. That was why you chose to teach kids. But this was not how you wanted to have kids. You didn’t want to have kids by mistake. You wanted to have kids when both partners agreed.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” He assured you.

“I’m sorry.” Joel put his hand on his forehead and apologized again.

“It’s okay.”

“You have to tell me if something happens okay?”

“You mean if I get pregnant.” You smirked.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

“Okay.”

To be continued…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @stevengmybeloved @happinessinthebeing @angelicbbsblog @aheadfullofsteverogers @mxtokko @bebe07011

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amtskind · 6 months

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die herrlichkeit des lebens (2024)

with kafka's 100th death day approaching this year, 2024 is full of new media about our favourite author.

@sepulkralkreatur and i watched yet another take on kafka's life:

"die herrlichkeit des lebens" (the glory of life) is a movie about kafka's last year, beginning at the baltic-sea and ending by the death-bed. it centers around kafka's romantic relationship to dora dymant and his outbreak from family and prague as a whole - with him moving to berlin. unfortunately, his tuberculosis progresses and he has to move to a sanatorium, where he looses the ability to speak, eat and drink - until he finally dies, with dora being next to him in his last moments.

i got to say, i feared that this movie might be full of kitsch and focus on romance rather than franz kafka - and my initial thought wasn't far from reality in the end - unfortunately.

while the kafka series had this darker and yet funnily-absurd touch to it (which was very fitting for him - kafkaesque!) and strictly followed every aspect of his life, the kafka-feeling in the movie was reduced to fragments of his writing, other people from his life and sporadically added biographical elements - like his illness.

all of this sounds so negative - but let's view the movie from a different perspective: maybe i shouldn't compare the series with the movie in the first place; the series included more facets of biography and had a larger variety of characters and themes - because it was intended to be a biopic.

the movie on the other hand, was based on a novel of the same name by michael kumpfmüller - which dealt with kafka's last year with dora. although having many biographical references, the novel still remains a form of fiction - which makes the movie more distant to the state of a biopic. we shouldn't view the movie as a biography, but rather as a romanticized adaptation of kafka's last year.

the movie features max brod, ottla and elli (kafka's sisters), as well as elli's husband karl hermann. although the characters make phone-calls with kafka's father - he isn't seen anywhere. he remains an oppressing, invisible power towards kafka throughout the whole movie. despite this being a possible, well done metaphor - i would have wished to see more of other characters, with more insight into their feelings in these hard times. but yet again - the movie wasn't made for this intent.

and it is worth considering, that not much is known about his time with dora, since her belongings, including possible letters and memories to franz, were confiscated by the gestapo in 1933. similiar to the legend about kafka's doll (which funnily enough was also mentioned in the movie, that was wholesome), fiction is there to close those holes in his life - and we have to be aware of the fictional nature to the movie.

although i am not the biggest fan of romance-movies and this one didn't necessarily scream "kafka" in your face - i enjoyed it. the actors did a great job and brought some sort of lightness with them. the sets and scenes were full of details and beautifully arranged, making it very lifelike. the following may sound a bit grotesque, but even the medical treatmant and dying-scene was done very realistically, making his suffering even more gruesome. and of course - my favourite thing: the metaphors. the hospital-beds at the beach instead of loungers made dreaming of freedom during a serious illness very impactful.

thank you henriette confurius (dora) and sabin tambrea (franz) for the movie and paying tribute to wonderful people 100 years ago!

comparison of the actors and their roles

#franz kafka #dora dymant #kafka #movies #kafka movie #die herrlichkeit des lebens #the glory of life #henriette confurius #sabin tambrea #dora diamant #1920s #movie recommendation #movie review #german movie

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tokintormin · 26 days

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My name is Anas Al-Sharfa. Since October 7, 2023, we have been suffering from a brutal war that has destroyed our dreams and hopes, exceeding the limits of human comprehension. During this savage war, we have endured hardships that mountains could not bear. We are facing severe water shortages and a critical lack of food and nutrition due to the blockade in northern Gaza for the past 10 months, preventing essential supplies like meat, vegetables, and fruits from entering. This situation has forced us to eat animal feed, leading to weight loss, various diseases, and a significant weakening of our immune systems.

We also suffer from severe water shortages, often walking nearly 1 kilometer to obtain a single gallon of water, which is approximately 16 liters, barely enough for five family members. As a result of the war, our home and agricultural land, which used to provide our daily sustenance, were destroyed and completely bulldozed, leading to major disruptions in our lives. We have also suffered from repeated displacement, moving from one place to another and from one area to another due to the horrific and brutal bombings.

Additionally, we have been deprived of education and the opportunity to build a future. I was studying to become a doctor to help people, but fate did not allow this as my university, where I dreamed of studying, was destroyed. I have been overwhelmed with thoughts during this war—how will I build my future? How will I complete my studies?

We also suffer from fear and terror due to bombings, fire belts, and explosives. Hospitals, which are the lifeline for every sick and needy person, have also been destroyed. We face a shortage of medicines and vaccines while diseases increase and ravage us, with no solution in sight as there are no hospitals or medical supplies available here in Gaza. We live in constant fear for my younger siblings because they haven't received their general vaccinations, particularly after the widespread outbreak of polio due to the lack of cleaning supplies and the massive accumulation of waste in the streets. The streets are also flooded with sewage, posing a grave threat to our children. My brother suffered from jaundice, battling it for about two weeks with fatigue, dizziness, and other symptoms. It's a deadly disease, and as mentioned before, there’s no treatment available due to the destruction of hospitals and health centers.

We are also suffering from the absence of cooking gas, forcing us to use wood and plastic to start fires, which could lead to poisoning. We've been without electricity since October 7, spending days in darkness, causing immense fear in my younger siblings. This has also made it extremely difficult to charge our phones and batteries for lighting at night. We had to travel kilometers from our home to find places with electricity, incurring high costs to charge our phones and batteries.

Moreover, we have had no stable income since the beginning of the war after our agricultural land was destroyed.

I kindly request assistance for my family so that we can live a better life.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/7fn48y-gaza-palestine

https://www.tiktok.com/@anas.alshrafa8?_r=1&_d=eegd1e4bgd3b6m&sec_uid=MS4wLjABAAAAsV6ZBEz6iF1rqntC6MpuWHuPJiIQPYdXX0aAH-pYWmrFXwLlIRmO02n7dFU1mFVM&share_author_id=7405660048045556753&sharer_language=ar&source=h5_m&u_code=efla4echdd989m&timestamp=1724864658&user_id=7405660048045556753&sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAAsV6ZBEz6iF1rqntC6MpuWHuPJiIQPYdXX0aAH-pYWmrFXwLlIRmO02n7dFU1mFVM&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_iid=7402927531621926663&share_link_id=002275c1-795d-4f6c-9a63-20dc58e8fe46&share_app_id=1233&ugbiz_name=ACCOUNT&ug_btm=b8727%2Cb0229&social_share_type=5&enable_checksum=1

https://www.instagram.com/anas.2007667?igsh=eXZrcDg3ZXYzbXNr

unvetted yet, found this post that explains that spreading the post will help find someone who can verify this faster

gofundme link https://www.gofundme.com/f/7fn48y-gaza-palestine

#palestine #gofundme #gaza #anasalshrafa #unvetted

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moontyger · 5 months

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We’ve learned that the viral load in milk from infected cows is especially high. This suggests that infection might be spread through milking machines or when the milking rooms are power washed, aerosolizing infected milk. This is why workers should wear protective gear.

Another huge problem is that cattle in the U.S. are fed poultry “litter,” a euphemism for leftover feathers, bird droppings, spilled seed, and the occasional dead mouse or rat mixed in. There is supposed to be a 15-day period before cattle are slaughtered when the broiler litter is not to be used. Because of this two-week “weaning period” before human consumption, dairy cows are not supposed to be fed bird litter.

Cow manure—based on poultry litter—is widely spread on fields as a fertilizer, including on organic farms. So, our whole agricultural supply chain could be at risk of spreading infection. At least with limited testing, it doesn't look like cows are shedding virus thru their stool.

There are other possible routes of transmission. For example, house flies and blow flies can transmit H5N1 and other avian influenza viruses. During an HPAI (H5N1) epidemic in Thailand in 2005, blood-engorged mosquitoes collected at poultry farms tested positive for H5N1 by reverse transcription-PCR. Windborne spread could explain up to 24% of the transmission over distances up to 25 km in the 2003 outbreak.

There is now apparently spread of infection from cows back to birds. Grackles, blackbirds, and chickens all showed mutations from mammals, suggesting this route.

Gaps In Response

The government’s response to this potential biothreat has been reactive and limited.

The strongest initial criticism is that, despite calls for data and sample sharing as a foundation of pandemic preparedness, the USDA has not fully shared their data. When it finally shared genetic sequences with GISAID, the international database widely used by scientists since 2008, the USDA did not say where the samples originated nor include critical timing data.

Another problem is that the testing of cows is limited to dairy cows before they are moved to a different state. We don’t know if beef cattle are infected.

Surprisingly, the government apparently has had no power to restrict the movement of cattle or to require testing or reporting of infected herds or workers. A number of farmers are reluctant to allow testing. We know how voluntary reporting and restrictions will work…

However, on April 24, the USDA’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service announced that dairy cows would have to be tested before interstate transport and that labs and vets would have to report positive tests in cows. APHIS also announced finding H5N1 in a lung tissue sample from an asymptomatic dairy cow in an affected herd.

While there was one recently reported case of conjunctivitis in a person, there is likely to be considerable underreporting. There have been anecdotal reports of other symptomatic workers with fever, cough, and lethargy—and who do not want to be tested or seen by doctors. Many workers are likely undocumented and have no trust in the government. Dairy owners won’t want to risk prices falling or calls to cull their herds. Cattle veterinarian Dr. Barb Petersen said there has been underreporting and fear. She told Bovine Veterinarian’s journalist Rhonda Brooks, “But every dairy that I've worked with has – with the exception of one – had sick human beings at the same time they had sick cows.” She also reported infections in people with no direct contact with dairy cows. “I'm talking owners and feeders who don't usually touch cows.”

#public health #H5N1 #bird flu #avian flu #quoted a lot because Forbes has a paywall #I still don't really expect a pandemic from this this year #but this response is not good #very worrying for the future #psa

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wutheringheightsfilm · 29 days

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Moreover, we have had no stable income since the beginning of the war after our agricultural land was destroyed.

I kindly request assistance for my family so that we can live a better life.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/7fn48y-gaza-palestine

Everyone, you can donate here. This campaign is not vetted, but the images in the post are original and it's donation protected!

#vero.txt #t #asks

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darkmaga-retard · 1 month

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https://www.globalresearch.ca/dangers-lessons-perennial-israeli-palestinian-war-big-picture/5837437

Dangers and Lessons from the Perennial Israeli-Palestinian War: The Big Picture of Propaganda and False Flag Operations

By Prof Rodrigue Tremblay

Global Research, August 14, 2024

False flag operations:

“The powers-that-be understand that to create the appropriate atmosphere for war, it is necessary to create within the general populace a hatred, fear or mistrust of others regardless of whether those others belong to a certain group of people or to a religion or a nation.”James Morcan(1978- ), New Zealander-born actor, writer, producer and a resident of Australia, 2014.

“I know what America is. America is a thing you can move very easily, move it in the right direction. They won’t get in our way.” Benjamin Netanyahu (1949- ), Israeli Prime Minister (1996-1999), (2009-2021) and (2022- ), addressing Israeli settlers in the West Bank, (as quoted in ‘Netanyahu: ‘America is a thing you can move very easily'”, The Washington Post, July 16, 2010.)

“We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy’s side of the front is always propaganda, and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.” Walter Lippmann (1889-1974), American journalist, (in ‘Public Opinion’, 1922).

“Those who want thwart the creation of a Palestinian state should support the strengthening of Hamas and the transfert of funds to Hamas.“ Benjamin Netanyahu (1949- ), Israeli Prime Minister, (during a meeting of the Likud party, in 2019).

Introduction

Nowadays, almost all wars, involving governments with access to enormous propaganda resources, are either deliberately provoked or simply the result of false flag operations, camouflaged under a veil of lies and fake news. In time of war, all parties lie. With the help of passive or complacent medias, not one distracted person in a hundred can see clearly what is really going on.

Rocket and missile clashes between Islamist Hamas and Israel, and atrocities and war crimes committed against civilians, are not new in that part of the world. The most recent outbreak of violence is, in reality, the continuation of a deep conflict, which is ongoing and which is entering into a new cycle of escalating violence.

Indeed, two years ago, in May 2021, serious riots took place inside the compound of al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem’s Old City, which left hundreds of Palestinians and many police officers injured. What followed was an escalation of attacks between Israel and Hamas. The latter launched more than 1,000 rockets from the Gaza Strip towards Israel, while the Israeli army, in return, dropped a deluge of fire on the blockaded Gaza Strip, causing more than 150 Palestinian deaths and 10 deaths on the Israeli side.

Only six months ago, on April 5th and 6th, 2023, there were new violent clashes in Jerusalem when Israeli police raided again the al-Aqsa mosque, in the pursuit of “agitators” who had barricaded themselves inside.

It is therefore somewhat puzzling why so many observers were taken by surprise when Hamas launched its rain of rockets on Israel, on Saturday, October 7, 2023, in an operation specifically called al-Aqsa Deluge.

Likewise, we can only remain perplexed when the Israeli government itself says it was taken by surprise, since its relations with the Palestinian populations have been extremely tense, particularly since 2021.

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shegatsby · 2 years

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The Last of Us

Warnings; Post apocalyptic world, death, suicide.

Words; 2.925K

A/N; Hi guys! Thank you for showing interest, can't wait to write more. Smut in the future chapters. Love to hear your thoughts about the chapter xxx Sorry for any typos English isn't my native tongue.

TAG LIST IS OPEN!

Summary; Ever since childhood you had to survive, you were born before the disease so you kinda remembered what was it like, to have a hot shower, clean food etc. You didn’t know what happened to your parents because they were on a vacation and left you with your grandma who passed away during the chaos. You were 10 when it happened, a child who had to be a woman over night. What happens when you are a brink from killing yourself and find purpose again?

Chapter Five – A spark

‘’Joel, they’re just kids.’’ She said as a little boy pointing his gun at your face, they seemed more afraid then you were, Joel was on the floor, cursing himself for the fact that he didn’t hear these two boys sneaking up on him like that, ‘’Okay.’’ He sounded calm and collective, ‘’He just has an asshole voice. Joel tell them that everything is fine.’’ Ellie was also concerned for the situation, ‘’Can we trust you?’’ the older boy asked, she noticed that the boy’s hands were shaking, ‘’Can I sit up?’’ Joel asked, and they allowed. In the middle of the night you woke up to find a spot to pee but caught off guard, they made you walk silently to your group and wake them up, thankfully they lowered their guns. The boy said his name was Henry and the younger boy was his brother Sam, Sam was a cutie, he couldn’t speak so Henry was communicating in sign language, they seemed to have a strong bond which Y/N envied, she was an only child. Turns out Henry was a wanted man in this city and they were also looking for them so that’s what they had in common. Joel was hesitant to share the food they had but Y/N kindly placed her hand on his he one and smiled, ‘’That smile will be the end of me.’’ Joel thought but said nothing.

When the morning came they set off, Ellie and Sam were playing together so the grown up ones could get a chance to talk, ‘’Welcome to killer city.’’ Henry said as he was viewing the city in broad day light, ‘’No FEDRA?’’ Joel asked, Y/N was listening to them, Henry explained that 10 days ago the people took over and killed FEDRA officers, Y/N had a bad feeling, because she knew that violence will create more violence. ‘’But you’re not FEDRA?’’ Y/N asked, ‘’Worse, I’m a collaborator.’’ Henry replied and Y/N saw the immediate change on Joel’s face, ‘’I don’t work with rats.’’ He moved away from Henry while holding Y/N arm to pull her where he was headed, ‘’Joel,’’ she whispered, his hand still on her arm, ‘’What?’’ he sounded annoyed. ‘’You don’t know his situation,’’ you pointed at Sam, ‘’what if he did that for his little brother? Let’s listen to his plan.’’ She was right and he knew that, it was hard for him to let go of arm, he turned to Henry, ‘’We’re listening.’’

Henry’s plan was simple, too simple, however they had no other plan and he was the only one who knew the city, the last time Y/N and Ellie got confused by the map they almost ended up dead.

Together they followed Henry to the tunnels, ‘’See? My plan is good.’’ Henry said enthusiastically, Joel rolled his eyes, ‘’We’ve been down here for 2 seconds. We don’t know anything.’’

‘’Your dad’s kind of a pessimist.’’ Henry said looking at Ellie, before they could say anything, ‘’Yes he is. Let’s keep moving.’’ Y/N announced and started to walk pass them, Joel could feel the blush creeping on his cheeks, why didn’t she corrected Henry?

What really surprised Y/N was that they came across a place looked like kindergarten. There were toys, comic books and paintings on the walls, ‘’I’ve heard about places like this.’’ Joel said looking around, his hand still on his gun, ‘’People went underground after outbreak day. Built settlements.’’

They were looking around when Y/N heard Ellie and Sam playing together, she stopped whatever she was doing and started to watch them with a smile painting her pretty face, Joel couldn’t stop himself from looking at her, she was leaning on a wall, arms crossed, Henry came to stand next to him, Joel turned to face him, there was a knowing look on Henry’s face, ‘’If you were collaboratin’ to take care of him.. I shouldn’t have said what I said.’’ He remembered Y/N’s words, ‘’I don’t know your situation.’’ His eyes fixated on Y/N who was watching the kids play, ‘’Did she have a child?’’ Joel wondered because shelooked like she was yearning for something, Henry exhaled a breath and told Joel about their situation, it was heartbreaking but today’s world was cruel.

They moved when it got dark so that the chances of getting caught was limited, Y/N was walking on Joel’s right side when Joel looked at her and got her arm again and pulled her to his left side, Y/N looked puzzled, ‘’My right ear got damaged so its hard for me to hear. Stay on my left side, always.’’ His soft brown eyes were demanding, expecting a reaction from her, she only nodded in understanding, her gaze went to her arm, his hand was still there and dominant, it sent warmth to her, a calm warmth, like walking into your home after a storm, safe.

‘’No one is here.’’ Henry was right, the streets were empty, no light coming from a house, ‘’No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.’’ Henry finished, smiling confidently, ‘’So much god damn talkin’.’’ She could sense Joel’s doubts, she didn’t know what he experienced throughout these years but whatever that was made him question and doubt everything. She wanted to prove him that for once things can go smoothly but not today because today he was right again. The place was swarmed by people who were looking for Henry and Sam, they came with trucks and with heavy ammo, Y/N couldn’t believe that the leader of this group gathered armed people to chase them.

They had to hide behind a car while Joel was waiting to shoot whoever dared to came close to them from a house nearby. He didn’t have time to panic but he could feel his heart beat go faster, he had to admit he wasn’t scared in his life before Ellie and Y/N showed up, he sometimes even thought that the fear had left him 23 years ago but since he met them he started to have these dreams, dreams of losing them but not fucking today.

Y/N was holding Ellie’s hand, they could hear Kathleen, the leader of this group speak to Henry, ‘’let them leave they’re just children!’’ Y/N begged, her voice shaking in fear, ‘’Kids die, they die all the time. Now come out Henry.’’

When Henry decided to come out her blood ran could, he was ready to sacrifice himself for his little brother. Before Kathleen could shoot him they heard a loud thud, the truck which crashed and blew up fell into a hole and the screams of infected filled their ears, she could feel herself shake, her grip on Ellie got tighter but none of them said anything. The hole on the ground got bigger and bigger and seconds which felt like centuries came to an end and the infected started to climb from the ground, turns out what Henry said was true, FEDRA did locked the infected underground.

Now they had a bigger problem, Ellie was immune but not others, hundreds of them were attacking Kathleen’s men, one thing she learned from Joel is that infected were blind and they would come to sounds, ‘’We have to move!’’ she said, they couldn’t just sit on the ground and wait for death, one of the infected climbed on top of the car which they were waiting and suddenly the infected was shot, she looked up to see that Joel was still there covering for them. It gave her somewhat relief, someone was out there looking after her…

Y/N and Joel shared eye contact from a far but that was enough for her to guide the group, she made a line with them her, Ellie, Sam and Henry and she became the leader, she was the only adult one and she had to be in sync with Joel. Unfortunately things always don’t go smoothly, they got separated, Ellie and Y/N were crawling on the ground to reach to a car which had an open window, the screams of people and infected were hard to ignore, she could feel her heart in her throat. ‘’Go,go,go!’’ She helped Ellie to get in but before she could do that she was attacked so she had to go under the car, she could hear Ellie screaming for her but it was impossible for Y/N to climb back to inside the car. When she heard a loud growl she thought this was the end, even in her end she thought of others what would Joel do when he realize that she was gone? It was obvious that he had lost people in the past so would that be the last incident to take him down to a dark pit? Would he be able to come back? To her surprise Ellie was the one who came to her rescue, Y/N didn’t understand why she would come back to save her? To Ellie she was nothing, she only needed Joel to get to the doctors of Firefly.

Joel didn’t have the luxury to make a mistake at this very moment because it was Y/N and Ellie, two girls who became the center of his lonely life, he kept shooting while Ellie was helping Y/N and he couldn’t help but feel proud. ‘’That’s what Sarah would do.’’

When they saw Henry and Sam struggling Ellie and Y/N looked at each other and without a word nodded, they both marched to get them and every time they took a step an infected was shot dead, they had knives and when they reached to them they stabbed the infected in their skulls so that they could pull Sam and Henry under the car. All of them ran to the house which Joel was shooting from, he literally sprinted to meet them, he couldn’t remember when was the last time he ran like that.

Karma was real, because at the end Kathleen who was a child murderer was attacked by a child clicker and died which bought them time to leave that chaos behind.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Joel asked as they were walking, he was asking all of them but his eyes were moving between Ellie and Y/N, ‘’Are you hurt?’’ he asked again, ‘’No, I’m fine. We’re fine.’’ She said when she realized that he pointed the question to her. She wasn’t bit thankfully, guess universe wanted her to see this through.

They ran for a while, when the screams of infected wouldn’t reach their ears they started to walk.

Joel and Y/N checked the motel they had found, it was empty and beds looked more comfortable than sleeping on the floor. ‘’Everyone off to bed!’’ her motherly tone was determined and sharp yet with a subtle softness to it, ‘’We had a long night, let’s just sleep it off.’’ She finished, the room they were in was dusty but there were two rooms, one room had 2 beds so Y/N sent Sam and Ellie to share it, everything look like the last they people visited the motel. Joel watched her from the door frame he was leaning, she put Sam and Ellie to bed and what surprised him was that she tucked them in and placed kisses on their foreheads. For a split second Joel imagined himself in Texas, back at his old place which had a big garden to take care of, he bet Y/N would love to spend time in the garden and plant flowers as delicate as her, what made his place ‘’home’’ was Sarah, in his fucked up daydream Y/N was tucking Y/N and Ellie in, they had bunk beds which was the demand of Ellie because Joel was sure that she was a bunk bed type of girl, it was late and Joel just arrived from his tiring work and all he craved for was to sit on the comfortable couch and watch a stupid movie with Y/N and her falling asleep in his arms. The creeping feeling of fear pressured his heart, he had to pull himself from this daydream. It was late and he was tired and there was no need to imagine scenarios which will never happen, Sarah was dead and their home was abandoned forever. He was on a mission, a mission to get Ellie to the Fireflies.

When Y/N turned to leave the room she saw his tall and muscular frame leaning against the door frame, big arms crossed and his eyes finding hers, his guard was down which wasn’t like Joel Miller, it was obvious that his mind was somewhere else. She had a small smile and for the first time he smiled back, without exchanging any words they left the kids alone.

Henry had made a place for himself to sleep on the floor, ‘’Goodnight.’’ He said to both of them. ‘’I’ll take the first watch.’’ Joel announced more to Y/N than Henry. ‘’You don’t have to, I’ll do it.’’ She watched him get his rifle and headed to the door, she thought he is going to dismiss her and just leave but when he opened the door he froze, ‘’No,’’ he said with a low voice, ‘’You ran a lot today with the kids..’’ he continued, his back was turned to her but something was stopping him from leaving.

‘’Were you afraid?’’ he spoke in hesitation, he turned to look at her to see her true reaction to his question. ‘’No.’’ her answer came quick and short, she was standing there, she had blue jeans and a t-shirt which was tight on her, her hair was a mess bun and he could see the redness creeping to her face, ‘’Really?’’ he couldn’t deny her pretty eyes, ‘’You were covering us and took care of the clickers, there was no need to be afraid.’’ He was taken aback by her answer. Was she telling to truth? Her answer made him jump into that daydream again, he felt like all of his efforts finally meant something.

‘’Let’s go.’’ She said and together they walked outside, she looked tired but she was determined to at least spend few hours with him, they sat on a bench, the night air was cold but kept her awake. ‘’Do you think we can find the Firefly lab?’’ she asked just make conversation, they only had a map not like there were working cars and GPS. ‘’Tommy must know where it is because he used to be one of them. He’ll guide us.’’ His trust in his little brother astonished her, even though they’ve been apart for so long Joel still believed that he was alive. She guessed they’re gonna find out soon. She only nodded to his answer, since they were sitting next to each other their arms were slightly touching. She could tell he saw stiff, on alert, he had to be but for once she wanted him to relax and enjoy the moment. She looked up to see the stars, since there were no electrical lights they could see the stars, bright and distant. He followed her gaze and looked at the starts, ‘’Its new moon.’’ She said, which made him look surprised, ‘’What does that mean?’’ he asked. At first she didn’t want to explain because she thought that he would discredit her or say something mean but with those soft brown eyes she couldn’t resist. ‘’New moon means it’s time to initiate beginnings, we’re reminded to reflect on the cyclical nature of reality, how every beginning is an end. Great time to start something new and leave the past behind.’’

She looked at him, there was a sense of understanding in his eyes, she could see how duality of living in the past and present at the same time tore him apart.

Maybe this was a message to him from God or universe that they could be his family, he didn’t want to give into that thought just yet, ‘’You should get some sleep.’’

The next morning she woke up early and walked to the living room area of their motel room, the kids door was still closed but Joel and Henry were talking, ‘’If you want you can join us.’’ Joel offered to Henry, ‘’Yeah, that would be great. Its been a while since Sam had someone close to his age.’’ Henry was packing his things, ‘’Are they still sleeping?’’ Y/N asked to Joel which Joel replied with a grunt, as she was about to march into heir room Ellie left screaming and Sam following behind. At first she didn’t understand what was happening but when Henry grabbed the gun which was on the floor and pointed at Sam it was obvious, Sam was infected and attacking Ellie, ‘’Joel! Y/N!’’ Ellie was screaming at them while struggling with Sam on the floor. Joel and Y/N’s hands were up, Joel took a step towards Ellie but Henry shoot close to Joel’s foot, Y/N could feel the panic consuming her whole body and before she could react Henry shoot his little brother, Sam was dead. Y/N immediately walked to Ellie and wrapped her in her arms, making sure that she isn’t looking Sam’s dead body, Y/N’s hand brushing her hair, ‘’Shhh, I’m here.’’

‘’What did I do?’’ Henry was whispering, clearly in shock, ‘’Give me the gun Henry, give me the gun.’’ She could hear Joel trying to convince him but Henry, with a single bullet to the head he was gone. Ellie screamed again and this time Y/N pulled her really close to her chest.

Tag List;

@psychomanias

@stitchattacks

@anxiousbeech

@elmontsmile

@cheyxfu

Thank you for reading. :)

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