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just-another-author-i-guess · 2 years

Note

More Judd smut?

More Judd smut yay (,:

Tags: fem! Reader, porn with a little plot?, what the fuck is hormone monster dialogue, everyone is horny fr, Nick and Andrew are creeps, but also scared of Judd, and very curious, questionable babysitting?, smoking, participating in the act of “getting stoned”, smoking inside, use of the word simp un-ironically, Judd gives super useless dating advice, not so safe sex, please use protection! please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with smut(,:

Summary: you and Judd are the designated babysitters for the night.

Read my OG Judd story? Here

Author’s note: hi gang (,: I remember when I was like “mental illness funny haha” but it’s really not funny anymore 🥹 I know I disappear all the time,, and I don’t even wanna apologize this time lol. But anyways, this has been brewing in my docs for like MONTHS and now I’ve come back, humbly offering you another Judd smut since the other one is surprisingly popular. Eat well, my children

The one where Judd gives dating advice

4,4K words

(Note, Judd is so cute and I love him :,)

“I don’t care about those horny little shits, I’m just saying they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want. I don’t want my pissstain of a brother hanging around you, your sister is also fucking weird—“

You gently elbowed him. “—You’re fucking weird, Judd. And the kids aren’t really that bad, you’re a bit dramatic, babe,” you said, and he angrily grumbled something in response as he slammed the microwave shut. The microwave made a noise, and you watched the third batch of popcorn slowly expand and start to pop.

Unfortunately for Judd, your parents had collectively decided to go out the day you had promised him a date. Mr and Mrs Birch got a coupon for a recently opened Thai restaurant and decided to invite yours, Missy’s and Andrew’s parents out for dinner, making you the designated babysitter of the night. Leah had ditched the whole ordeal, and Judd was planning to ditch as well until you sent him a picture of your tits and told him he could still come over if he behaved.

With Maury clouding his judgement, there was no fucking way he could say no to that.

So now, he was stuck making popcorn for a bunch of middle schoolers. Not to mention he had a pretty bad track record with the kids, they were all absolutely terrified of him. Except of course Jessie, who was deeply in love with him. He grunted in annoyance, turning around to face you with his arms crossed over his chest.

He had been muttering complaints under his breath ever since you started setting up for the movie. He was absolutely livid that the kids stole away his one-on-one private time with his girlfriend, but for you (and your boobs) he tried to somewhat restrain himself.

“Judd, baby, look at me,” you stepped out in front of him, reaching up and gently rubbing his cheek, forcing his attention on you. “I know this is not ideal. But, if you play nice, I have a little something for you when the kids go to bed,” you purred, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed your waist, kneading the soft flesh in his big hands. Even though he looked intimidating as all hell, not to mention he absolutely towered over you, he was wrapped around your pinky finger.

He leaned down and buried his face in your neck. “It better be good, slut..” he grunted, brushing his lips over your neck. You slapped the back of his head, feeling him frown against your skin. “I said behave, bitch-boy.” Your tone was sharp, and he knew not to push you any further.

“Fine, alright. Whatever.” He grumbled, hugging you closer to his body.

It was precisely 7’oclock when the kids arrived. Jessie was still in her room, not wanting to hang out with you and Judd alone; she had refused to come out after your parents left.

Surprisingly, Judd was the first at the door. He grinned evilly. “Welcome to purgatory, you little shits.” He said, looking down at the 8th graders menacingly. “Bitch! Your sister's dumb friends are here!” He called over his shoulder.

You huffed audibly. “Are you gonna let them in or what, numbnuts?” You called back to him, pouring the last packet of popcorn into a bowl.

He frowned and stepped aside, letting the now pretty frightened kids inside. Missy walked in first, smiling nervously at Judd, then came Andrew and Nick.

Nick was about to step inside, when Judd put a hand on his shoulder. The younger boy stopped dead in his tracks, praying to whatever god he could think of that his brother would let him off easy. “I didn’t do anything! Judd, I swear, please let me go!” He shouted, voice breaking multiple times.

A ghost of a smirk crossed Judd’s face. “Don’t try shit, or I will rip your tiny dick off and force it down your throat. Got it, asslicker?”

Nick swallowed thickly, frantically nodding his head. Of course Judd had picked up on his brother's crush on you, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world.

“Y-You got it, Judd!” He confirmed, panicked chuckles escaping him.

“Judd. Let him inside.” You stomped up to them, looking so livid you scared Judd back into being nice as you crossed your arms over your chest. Nick looked away quickly, a pink flush covering his face and neck.

Judd pushed Nick inside with a frown, once again not being able to refuse you. The kids looked on in bewilderment as the intimidating teen seemed to slightly cower under your glare, complying to your will. He looked down at them with something akin to shame, before following after you like a lost puppy.

The kids were in complete shock. Had Judd been fucking possesed?

You called out to Jessie, telling her to come out of her room, before dragging Judd back into the kitchen.

“Y/nnn! Can you start the movie already?” Jessie whined loudly.

A bit of shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. ”I-In a minute! We’re just fixing some drinks!” You called out, voice slightly shaky.

“.. do you really think they’re getting drinks?” Missy asked, after an agonising minute of silence. The kids sat stiffly on the couch.

You had told them to make themselves at home, but none of them were able to really calm down with Judd in the house.

Jessie scoffed. “Does it sound like they’re getting drinks? My sister's kind of a slut if you haven’t noticed.” She spat.

Nick rolled his eyes. “So is Judd.”

The two of them weren’t able to get over their jealousy of your relationship, somehow not yet registering that they didn’t stand a chance with high schoolers.

“Come on guys, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Missy said nervously, glancing at the kitchen door.

“Jessie, do you think it’s possible I can get a glass of milk? I feel very dehydrated right now,” Andrew muttered, wringing his hands.

Jessie sighed and Nick immediately began explaining in detail how Judd would murder him. But ultimately, after a long and intense discussion, the kids decided to venture into the kitchen.

“You promised to be nice,” You said over your shoulder, holding Judd’s hand as you pulled him to the kitchen.

“I am nice.” He huffed, letting go of your hand and instead reaching out to grab your waist. He gently lifted you, setting you down on the counter top before stepping in between your legs. For a moment you thought he would lead it somewhere, but your face morphed into a gentle smile when he buried his face in your neck, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides.

You softly stroked his hair, making the angry agent of chaos visibly relax as he melted into your touch. “You didn’t even last ten seconds,” You muttered, immediately recognizing his actions as jealousy.

He breathed out against your neck, and you couldn’t help but softly laugh at the tingly feeling. “It was nice enough for me to make the popcorn, do you want me to fucking hand feed them too?” He grumbled, straightening up so he could glare down at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down there, Mr. grumpy-pants. All I ask is that you remain civil for the night, or at least until the movie’s over,” You gave him your very best puppy dog eyes, reaching up to gently brush your hands over his jaw again. Reluctantly, he leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his angry glare.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how absolutely soft he was for you. Your touch calmed him like no other, not even horror movies or tormenting the neighbourhood made him feel as gleeful as when you touched him.

He hummed in response, not really registering what you said, too focused on your touch. His own hands travelled from your waist to your thighs, gently squeezing. You let out a soft little sigh and instantly Maury appeared.

‘What? What’d I miss? You’re gonna fuck?’ The hormone monster asked, observing the situation. ‘Oooh! You should totally have a quickie, let’s see how many fingers you can stuff in her before the kids find out!’ He grinned, shaking Judd by the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up.” Judd growled, making Maury let out a series of horse laughs. ‘Oh ho ho ho! At least get a good feel of her boob, we need something to get through the movie!’ He said dramatically, before patting Judd’s head and walking off in search of new entertainment.

Judd thought about it for a moment, before slowly sliding his right hand up your tummy until he could palm one of your tits.

“Judd,” You said, placing your hand over the one he had on your chest, but not removing it. “You gotta behave, alright? Just for tonight. And you can touch aaall you want after, I promise,” You said, finishing the sentence with a long kiss to his cheek.

“Fuck. Okay, fine.” He relented, removing his hand from your boob and intertwining his fingers with yours instead. He leaned in, pressing a series of wet kisses to your jaw and neck.

You hummed happily, half closing your eyes until you caught movement somewhere over Judd’s shoulders. You immediately straightened up, opening your eyes fully only to make eye contact with four completely stupefied middle schoolers.

The kids were too stunned to speak, literally.

Andrew was stammering incoherently, Nick seemed to find the ceiling very interesting, Missy and Jessi had both turned completely red in face but for very different reasons.

“Oh. Hello,” You said awkwardly, pushing Judd away and jumping off the counter quickly.

Your boyfriend in question let out a disappointed grunt, murderously glaring down the kids but keeping quiet. You all stood in complete silence for a few, agonisingly long seconds, until Andrew finally spoke up.

Still wringing his hands, the preteen stepped slightly closer to you. “Y/n, I’m very sorry to interrupt. But could I maybe get a glass of milk? It would really help with my nervous stomach—“ You cut him off before he could go into further detail about his digestive system and smiled warmly at him.

“—Of course. Why don’t you follow Judd back into the living room, he’ll start the movie for you and then I’ll be right out. Okay?”

If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under.

Judd bore holes through your back with his eyes, as you turned to open the fridge. “O-okay! Once again, thank you Y/n,” Andrew said, seemingly relieved.

Slowly the kids turned to walk out the kitchen, drizzling out one after the other. Jessi bore a somewhat mischievous smile, walking a bit slower on purpose in hopes she could walk next to Judd. Your boyfriend sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms and following after the kids. He was slowly coming to realise that he had no other choice, than to be a slave for a gang of middle schoolers.

The kids were again stiffly seated on the couch, this time with Judd sitting in the far end. Jessie had glued herself to his side, shamelessly sitting as close to him as possible. He was sure he would accidentally hit her if he moved his arm just the slightest.

He was holding the remote, quickly flicking through movies on netflix as the kids fought over what to watch.

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked. “I’ll find you a good movie,” And by “good movie'' he meant the absolutely goriest horror flick netflix had to offer.

Judd grinned sinisterly as he chose a movie, looking over to see the kids all sporting comically shocked expressions.

Andrew carefully glanced at Judd. “Excuse me, Judd, but are you sure this movie is suitable for children?” He asked.

“Y-yeah. Doesn’t that say you have to be sixteen..? My mom said I shouldn’t watch scary movies until I feel ready,” Missy added.

Nick didn’t say anything. He was scared enough of his brother already to disagree openly with him, and he also didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Jessi.

“It’s about time you little pussies grow up. Be quiet and just watch the fucking movie,” Judd said, as mischievously as his monotone voice would allow him to sound.

Jessi nodded gravely. “Yeah, guys. Shut up. It’s just a movie,” She said, looking up at Judd with big eyes for approval. He only grunted, pressing start on the remote.

Within the first few minutes, Andrew and Nick were clinging to each other. Missy was curled in on herself, watching the movie through her spread fingers. Judd grinned evilly, satisfied with his choice as he started digging through his pockets.

He was quick to dig up a lighter and half a blunt. A bloody jumpscare in the movie made Jessi jerk and grab onto Judd’s arm, slightly shaking. He sighed deeply, annoyed, but let it slide. He lit the blunt, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back as he inhaled deeply.

“Judd, I told you not to smoke inside,” You grumbled, returning to the living room with drinks and even more popcorn. Judd raised his head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Shut up,” He simply said, gesturing to the way Jessi was clinging to him.

You had to stifle a laugh, quickly setting the snacks on the coffee table and handing the milk to Andrew, who reached out to take it with a shaky hand, refusing to look at the tv.

Upon noticing the lack of space on the couch, Judd beckoned you to his lap. You happily sat down, Jessi giving you a disturbed look as your body gently pushed hers away.

“What the hell are we even watching?” You asked, Judd shrugged. “Dunno. Summer camp massacre something,” He said, handing you the blunt as you got comfortable on his lap.

You took a long drag, nuzzling into Judd as his hands came down to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Guys,” Missy suddenly whispered, eyes glued to you and Judd. “Is that.. Marijuana.. As in drugs?”

Judd chuckled, you could feel him move beneath you as you struggled to keep from laughing yourself.

You said the only appropriate answer you could scrape from your brain; “Well.. Yeah.”

Missy’s eyes grew to sorcerers. “You can’t do that! Marijuana is a gateway drug! It could mess up your brain- Oh fudge! It could mess up my brain from inhaling secondhand!”

This time you couldn’t conceal your giggle, handing the blunt back to Judd as you leaned forward. You smiled softly at the younger. “Don’t worry about it, Missy. You’re way too smart to be corrupted by secondhand smoke,” You said. Missy nodded reluctantly, a small smile appearing on her face as she accepted the compliment.

“Mom will actually kill you,” Jessi mumbled and you fondly ruffled her hair. “She won’t if you keep your mouth shut.” You teased, as she scowled at you. Her eyes quickly left yours, to blatantly stare at Judd as he blew clouds of smoke out his nose. He truly looked like an angry dragon, staring at the movie screen with furrowed brows.

Jessi went bright red, looking away immediately when Judd turned to meet her gaze. You grinned, ruffling her hair again before relaxing back into your boyfriend. Judd gave another annoyed grumble, but soon relaxed himself.

Somehow, the kids managed to be quiet for the duration of the movie as you finished the blunt and most of the snacks.

Jessi fell asleep against you, having ended up clutching your hand for safety (probably from the masked killer on screen). Missy fell asleep against Andrew, the two huddled in a pile. Nick had slid down from the couch, attempting to hide from the movie but ending up sleeping under the coffee table.

By the time credits came on screen, you and Judd were the only ones awake. Pleasantly hazy from the smoke session, you turned your head to smile at him.

“You were so good. I like nice Judd,” You muttered, leaning up to press a soft, slow kiss to his lips.

He immediately deepened the kiss, claiming his price. In a horny daze, his hands migrated to your butt and his tongue invaded your mouth. You sighed, a bit too loudly and let your own hands wander. Over his shoulders, rubbing down his chest and abdomen till eventually they rested just over his belt.

The hiss that escaped him as your hands pressed to his crotch, definitely did not go unnoticed and you responded in kind by moving from his lips, messily gliding wet kisses down his jaw and neck. You bit him playfully, but still hard enough to leave indents in his perfectly smooth neck.

‘Oooh, baby!’ Right on time, Connie appeared at your side. She purred like a cat, curling around you and Judd on the couch. ‘Why don’t you hurry and jump right on up on that delicious dick of his? You know he can make you feel reeeeeaaaal good,’ She drawled.

Barely acknowledging her, you dumbly nodded in agreement.

‘Hurry, dumpling! Don’t got much time before the kiddies wake up,’ She urged you, poking Jessi with a long fingernail, and indeed, your sister was starting to stir.

You could only let out a frustrated huff. Judd had your hair fisted in one hand and your hip clutched tightly in the other, helping you rut yourself against his growing bulge in long, hazy strokes. He felt good, you felt good, everything felt so, so good and moving away from the heavenly friction could not be more of a bother.

You leaned forward a bit, which came with resistance considering his tight grip on your hair, and whined lowly in his ear.

Gently, you nosed at his cheek. “Judd.. the kitchen. C’mon,” You breathed.

He retaliated by grinding up into you, much harder than before, allowing you to feel the entirety of his now, very hard, length. You moaned loudly in response.

“We need to.. the kitchen— they’re waking up,” It was a difficult task to form the right words, with the increased amount of pleasure, so you scratched his shoulders, gently, to get your point across.

Leaning in, he captured your lips in a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with such fervour your head was spinning. He let go, biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it back before pulling away completely.

“Stupid fucking kids,” He gritted, tongue swiping over his lips, plump from kissing.

Heaving, you bit your bottom lip and batted your eyelashes at him in a most sultry display that was sure to make Connie proud. A sinister grin spread across his face, when he got an idea and he let go of your hair in favour of kneading your ass in both his hands.

“I’ll fuck you on the table, slut, be grateful.” It was a demand, but you didn’t mind because right at that moment, nothing truly sounded more pleasing than getting railed on the dining table in your mothers kitchen.

A shudder went through you at the thought, warmth slushing in your belly and still, you grinned coyly at him. “Only because you were so well behaved. I’m starting to think you actually like them, Juddy-Wuddy?” You said, motioning to the four kids as you cooed at him.

You got him with that one. Watching with glee as his jaw clenched and he sent you a look that could only mean one of two things; he was going to kill you or plow you until you could no longer walk. You highly suspected the latter.

Your boyfriend scoffed. “It’s almost cute how damn smart you think you are, huh? You fucking bitch.” He glowered. He despised when you called him that, one of the many terrible nicknames you had overheard his mom call him, and he always fell right into your trap.

Before you could start to respond, he was rising from the couch, hands manoeuvring under your thighs to lift you up with him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, legs tighter around his waist to keep his clothed cock pressed up against your core, and nuzzled your face into his neck.

His hands were warm on your thighs, so big they almost covered them entirely when he spread his fingers. You latched onto his neck again, engraving lots of little purple marks, just how he liked it.

His response came as a strained grunt, as he barreled into the kitchen and dropped you on the corner dining table.

The table was cold, you squealed as your thighs dragged along the cool surface and Judd wasted no time, leaning over you and pushing your skirt up to expose your panties.

A sinister grin spread across his face when he found your panties were already damp and soaked, his award for being a prime example of a boyfriend this evening.

You bucked your hips, mewling for attention and hoping he would be quick to relieve you of the throbbing between your thighs.

He laughed, low and husky as he watched you writhe on the table beneath him. Your lips were swollen and plump, a deep blush covered your cheeks and your hair was messily spread out over the table’s surface. His dick ached.

‘Boi-oi-oi-oing!’ Maury was right behind him, a wild smile split his face and he let his tongue hang out, looking more like a rabid dog than a hormone monster.

‘C’mon! Shove your fist inside her, she obviously wants it!’ Maury barked, shaking Judd by the shoulders. The teen shook him off, grumbling a threat as he returned to the task at hand.

You heaved in a breath, tongue coming out to wet your lips again. “Judd, I swear to god, do something—“ You pleaded, desperately.

“— have patience. And shut the fuck up.” Judd grunted, long fingers creeping towards the wet patch on your panties. Then, he pressed down, right in the middle of the wetness where your much neglected clit sat.

Gasping, you reached out to grasp his bicep. He pressed down again, keeping his thump there and swirling it in circles. You gasped and whined his name softly, the wet fabric glided over your most sensitive part so well it was hard to think about keeping quiet.

He was quick to silence you with a kiss, however, as his left hand finally, finally, left the wet patch to pull your panties off. You helped him shake them off, too focused with the cool air blowing on your hot core to notice how he crumbled up your panties and stuffed them in his back pocket.

You begged for him again, whines disappearing into his open mouth as he kept it slotted over yours.

He shushed you, putting his weight on his right hand as he leaned in further between your legs, suddenly stuffing two fingers into you, in one smooth motion. You cried out so loudly and desperately that not even Judd’s wet kisses could conceal it, he gave you another rough thrust of his fingers in retaliation.

Your eyes were half closed, lips forming an ‘o’ as he pulled away from your mouth to bite at your neck. His fingers reached a depth that your own could not, hitting a softer, mushier spot in your pussy that had you seeing stars each time. He was so rough with his thrusts too, working quickly and effectively to bring you to ecstasy and making the table rattle slightly. You could only pray that the slight scraping on the tiled kitchen floor could not be heard in the living room.

What was much louder, however, were your own loud gasps and breathy moans of your boyfriend's name. The closer you got, the louder your pleas became.

Judd bit your neck again, hard enough to turn the skin purple. “I said, be quiet, bitch.” He groaned into your neck, panting slightly as the pace of his hand increased.

You tried, but really couldn’t. The lewd squelching sound and the rapid stroking of his two fingers against your g-spot had you mewling and bucking against him. And it certainly didn’t help, when his thumb pressed down on your clit as well.

His slender fingers didn’t create much of a stretch, but you knew he was preparing you for his monstrous cock and because his fingers were so deliciously long the waiting time was never disappointing.

You could vaguely hear Connie bustling about in the background, shouting her encouragement and coaxing you to tell Judd all sorts of lewd things. You didn’t listen, you couldn’t when you were so, so close to your breaking point.

With your body on fire, liquid pleasure in your veins, your toes curled and you tilted your head to allow Judd better access to the unmarked parts of it. He graciously took the opportunity, returning his grip on your head to position you just how he wanted.

Your thighs clenched around Judd’s arm, lip trembling as your eyes crossed in pleasure. “Judd..!”

And then he was pulling away, you whined desperately in the process, only to be silenced with a large hand slapped across your mouth.

“I told you to be quiet, bitch.” He snarled, his voice now so deep and feral it made you shiver. He squeezed your cheeks together, a bit of drool escaped your mouth and smeared on his hand, as he pulled you to a sitting position. “Didn’t I?”

Your pussy throbbed, clenching around nothing at both the rough treatment and being so suddenly void of stimulation.

With your cheeks squished together, you couldn’t respond, so you opted for frantically nodding your head, softly whining out for him. You needed him inside you, and it had to be now.

You rutted yourself against the table, slick following you and making a trail on the wooden surface, it felt good, but definitely not as good as Judd’s cock would feel.

“Pw-pf..a..e.. Pwase!” You begged him, hands wandering towards his belt, feeling him up and unbuckling his belt buckle. You gasped quietly, he was so hard it had to hurt and the feeling of him pressed to your palm made you clench around nothing again. Despite the layers of clothes between you.

He moaned, but reached down to gather both wrists in his free hand and pinning them together. “You think you think you deserve that? After all the fucking noise you made?”

You cried out and nodded. Judd grinned sinisterly. “You’re so pathetic, you little slut. You know that?”

You wanted to kick him, or at least insult him back but the throbbing in your cunt and the fact that his words only made that throb so much worse, made it quite hard to do so.

Then, he leaned in, resting his chin on top of your head and inhaled your hair deeply. “You’re my little slut.” He grunted and, oh, you could have cum right there.

You nuzzled into him, burying your head where his neck became his chest and started leaving small, wet kisses.

He didn’t let go of either your wrists or mouth, instead he barked one simple order; “Off.” and brought your bound wrists towards his crotch again.

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately getting to work and shoving both his pants and underwear as far down as your position would allow you to grab at his dick.

Hissing in pleasure, he pulled you closer to him. He was throbbing and warm in your hand, heavy and so swollen the head had almost turned purple, you tried lifting yourself up, tried to get just the tiniest bit of friction.

You pumped him slowly, he was sticky with pre-cum already and he dropped his head into your hair again, burying his face into you with a strained groan. He, too, was close to his breaking point.

Letting your wrists and cheeks free, he opted to grab under both your hips, lifting them up to hover above his dick. You let go of him, fingers coming to scratch at the table as he did the remainder of work for you and you fell back on the table.

“This what you want?” He grunted, thrusting experimentally and nudging his cockhead against your swollen little pearl.

“Yes.. yes, yes! Please, Judd, it hurts, I need it..!” You blabbered, cheeks puffy and face screwed up as you felt your empty pussy ache with anticipation. Only your boyfriend's dick could ease the twang in your lower belly.

He inhaled sharply through his nose, face set in stone and brows drawn together as he finally thrusted into you, filling you so completely in that one thrust, that you suddenly felt too full.

The bit of pain from the wide stretch you felt melted into white-hot pleasure almost as soon as it appeared and when Judd pressed a bit more into you, his hip bones meeting yours, you came instantly.

You cried out, overwhelmed by the sudden and immense pleasure. Judd cursed, rather loudly and tried pressing further into you, holding you flush against him as you clenched uncontrollably around him. You were even tighter now, so tight it almost hurt and so he waited for you to ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily.

“Shit.. fuck you! Ah!” He nearly whined at the feeling, blunt nails digging into the plush flesh on your hips.

Panting, sobbing and sighing, you slowly came down from your orgasm, not at all ready when Judd suddenly started thrusting again. You were already overstimulated, but the wide stretch and feeling of his cock inside felt so heavenly.

You couldn’t help the never-ending mantra of his name that escaped you, matching each of his violent thrusts. He wanted you to feel him as deep as possible, you knew, and he made sure of it. Leaning in over you to hit you at a deeper angle, pressing down on your belly as he fucked you to see himself bulging through.

“Judd, m’so full,” You slurred, digging your nails into his shoulders, as deep as they would go. He grunted a response, sweat gathering on his dark brows; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” He was strained as he spoke, teeth clenched and warm breath fanning your face.

Then, he squeezed under your thighs again, sliding you towards the edge of the table. “Spread your legs.” He demanded gravelly, and you easily complied. He pressed himself to you further, barely pulling out after each thrust, but doubling the force in which he thrusted.

The table scraped loudly against the floor, you whimpered and tried to quiet yourself, face heating as the room filled with squelching sounds that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination, should anyone overhear.

Already, you started to tighten around him again, your thighs quivered as you did your best to keep them apart. Judd noticed almost immediately, bringing his thumb down upon your puffy clit.

“C’mon pretty girl, cum for me again,” He panted and you followed suit, before you could cry out, though, he captured your lips with his own, chest pressed to yours.

You sobbed into his mouth as his tongue licked flames into you, clutching him to you. His thrusts became irregular, driving you into the table until he couldn’t hold out anymore. He moved to pull out, but you stopped him, keeping him pressed against you. “Don’t.. they’ll see— in-inside.” You panted into his mouth, and almost immediately felt a slush of warm liquid fill your lower belly.

Judd grit his teeth tightly, jaw fully clenching and breath heaving. His green eyes were dark and glazed, he straightened up a little, raising himself on his forearms to look down at you.

You were drooling slightly, makeup a bit smudged as you laid out on the table, revelling in the feeling of complete satisfaction and Judd’s cum filling you.

He waited a while to pull out, watching with interest as your tummy swelled ever so slightly from the combining force of his dick and his spend.

“You’re fucking horrible at being quiet,” He eventually stated.

You puffed out your cheeks, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It wasn’t me who made the table move,” you countered.

Judd’s hands ventured up your back, holding you to him. “You whine like a bitch in heat,” He countered, monotonously, in the most endearing way he could possibly put it. Because honestly, he loved the sounds you made.

Maury clapped him on the back and barked something at him, reminding him that the two of you were indeed not alone and he pulled out of you. You sighed as he slipped out, feeling your combined liquids leak out a bit as well.

He was quick to pull his pants and boxers up, turning from you to fetch a roll of paper towels. As he always did, he insisted on cleaning up for you.

You had asked him about it once, getting the lame response of; “I like to keep my things clean.”

Fixing your skirt to cover yourself, you found that your panties were nowhere in sight and fixed Judd a look.

Your boyfriend shrugged. “This is your house, just get another pair.” You blew a raspberry at him. “I’m actually gonna run out of underwear because of you.”

He didn’t care, it was quite obvious, so you kissed his jaw and jumped from the table, to get yourself a new pair. Judd didn’t miss his chance to roughly squeeze your ass as you walked past him.

Nick awoke to a strange sound. The loudest being the scraping of something on the floor, then he heard you cry, loud and continually as though you were in pain.

Immediately he sat up. The room was dark and the tv static, he drowsily looked around, his four friends sleeping soundly on the couch. Andrew moved his foot, coincidentally pinning Nick down with it. Groggily, he sighed and pushed Andrew off him.

He swayed a bit as he stood up, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them. His brother and you weren’t anywhere to be seen, the spot where you previously was sitting now occupied by Jessi, sleeping in a starfish position.

That was when he heard the sound again, the scraping and then the desperate gasping. This time, though, he heard his brother’s raspy voice as well. What the hell was going on?

‘Judd and Y/n are wrestling,’ Suddenly his temporary hormone monster, Tyler emerged from the kitchen with a disturbed look.

“What?” Nick was way too tired to process something like that.

‘They’re rolling around on the table! Like this!’ Tyler got on top of the coffee table, and started intimidating something that definitely did not look like wrestling.

Tyler noticed Nick’s confused expression. ‘Yeah! And she keeps crying and saying his name— like, like this!’ The monster proceeded to do an utmost terrible impression of you calling for Judd and Nick cringed. ‘— and then, Judd told her to shut up and called her a slut! I think he’s gonna get her in a chokehold. I wouldn’t put my money on Y/n, though, she’s not even trying to fight him off—‘

“— Yeah, I don’t think they’re wrestling, Tyler.” Nick deadpanned, cutting the deity short. He felt his face grow increasingly red, as your sounds grew. Now, even he could hear you beg Judd for all sorts of lewd things.

‘Oh.’ Tyler blinked a couple of times. Nick shivered, he definitely did not need to hear his brother bone his girlfriend (on whom he had a crush) or explain the situation to his hormone monster.

The two of them remained in uncomfortable silence for a while, Nick pacing back and forth to clear his head of any inappropriate thoughts that Tyler was coaxing him into, once he had figured out the situation.

Eventually, Nick settled on waking Andrew.

“Andrew,” He pushed his friend and whispered again. “C’mon, wake up, Andrew,”

The latter mumbled something incoherent, adjusting his glasses in his sleep. Nick groaned and shook him, not relenting. “I never peed in that pool!” Andrew woke up shouting, and Nick tumbled back in surprise.

“What?” Nick hissed. Andrew looked about wide eyed, seemingly as groggy as Nick. “I— what?” Andrew repeated. He blinked at his friend slowly, not yet aware of the circumstances.

He pulled Andrew from the couch, and put a hand over his mouth. “Listen,” He whispered, and watched as his friend's expression turned from annoyed, to confused, to very very startled.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god!” Andrew stammered. Nick removed his hand. “Is that— are they?” His head snapped from Nick to the kitchen entrance and back again.

The shorter nodded once, stiffly. “What do we— do we do anything? We could go back to sleep before Judd— oh god, what if they find out we heard?”

Nick turned to his panicking friend, determination clear in his eyes. “We need to go see for ourselves.”

Andrew’s eyes grew impossibly larger, to the size of sorcerers. “What? No! No, no, normally I come up with those kinda terrible ideas— are you okay, Nick?” He put a clammy hand to Nick’s forehead, fauxingly checking his temperature.

Nick clicked his tongue, annoyed, and waved his friend’s hands away. “Think, Andrew! You have a crush on Y/n, I have a crush on Y/n, haven't you imagined her like that a lot of times, anyway? We can just look, really quickly,”

“Uuhh, I— I don’t know,” He stammered, eyes flicking to the kitchen door.

Nick sighed. “I’m going to go look.” His statement was final, as he marched off. Andrew wrung his hands, definitely not unaware of his own desire to see what his two designated babysitters were up to, and his legs seemed to follow after Nick all by themselves.

The two stopped by the door, neither daring to actually peek inside yet.

“Judd, m’so full,”

Both boys stiffened at the sound of your voice, breathy and begging and definitely not how you usually spoke to them.

Then, Judd grunted; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” Followed up by a harsh command of; “Spread your legs.”

Nick swallowed, and Tyler pushed him further towards the door, squealing at him to look. Suddenly, his previous courage had completely disintegrated and he looked at Andrew, panicked.

The other was just as alarmed, sweat beating his forehead as the scraping sounds picked up and they realised the weight of the situation.

They stood there for a while, completely perplexed, having been so scared off by your vulgar statements that neither dared to move. Andrew shut his eyes tightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he heard Maury in the room as well. He was barking orders at Judd, all of which went completely ignored, and cheering the two of you on.

Then, after what felt like aeons, the noise quieted down and the two preteens listened as you had a quiet conversation. Judd was way less mean, when he talked to you in private, they both noted. Only when you went off to get another pair of briefs, did they realise their mistake. But it was too late for them to move, instead they both stood there with rapidly beating hearts, faces bathed in red with sheepish expressions as you exited the room.

You stuck your head out the entrance first, yelling in surprise when you caught sight of the two boys. “Oh my god.” You breathed, then realising that they probably heard most of what just went on.

Caught red handed, you couldn’t bear to look neither of them in the eyes. You straightened, quickly walking past them and holding your skirt tightly around your bottom.

Levelling your voice the best you could, you called to them over your shoulder; “Judd’s in the kitchen, if you need anything,” You squeaked, bounding upstairs to your room before they could properly take in your dishevelled appearance.

Nick panicked, now they had to go in the kitchen, or suspicion would surely arise. He grabbed onto Andrew’s sleeve, willing his legs to move and take the final few steps into the kitchen.

Into the dragon's den, where Judd, the dragon resided.

“H-hi. Judd.” Nick stammered. Judd had his back to them, raiding the fridge for anything to drink. You had only stocked up on diet sodas.

The older teen acknowledged them with a grunt, not bothering to turn before his drink-mission was complete. The two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of your kitchen, waiting for whatever reign of terror Judd would have prepared for them; but none came.

Judd slammed the fridge door shut, and to their total surprise, threw each boy a Diet Coke. “Need anything else?” He drawled, sauntering to the table and slumping down in a chair. He opened a coke for himself and got comfortable in his chair, downing almost the entire can in one go.

Andrew and Nick shared a glance, and simultaneously inched towards the table. The two of them sat down quietly, still waiting for Judd to scare them away.

But he was completely out of character, for once, he looked kinda relaxed. Albeit a bit sweaty and tousled, but as calm as Nick had ever seen his older brother. His eyes lingered on Judd’s neck, where he bore a collection of teeth indents, smudges from your lipstick and hickeys.

The three sat in silence for a bit, listening as the light under the cabinets buzzed and eventually Judd got up to fetch another soda.

“You want any more?” He asked the two, and they politely declined. He shrugged and returned to the table with a new can.

Nick fiddled with the top of his can, eyes flitting around the room nervously. “Judd. Can I ask you a question?” He dared not look up as he spoke, keeping his eyes planted on the table.

Judd grunted, his way of saying ‘go ahead.’

“Why are you being so nice to us?” The question visibly caught Judd a bit off guard, he stopped drinking for a brief moment, thinking the question over before his stoic exterior returned.

“Y/n wants me to be nice to you. She likes you small assholes,” He shrugged.

Andrew looked at the older bewildered. “Y/n told you to be nice to us?” He asked, voice cracking as if he couldn’t believe his own ears.

Judd frowned. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” He snapped.

Andrew swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah. Sorry,”

“But— I mean, why? She’s not even here, and, you usually don’t listen to anyone,” Nick was unrelenting, now past the point of caring if Judd would beat him up for asking questions.

A pregnant pause wove through the room, as Judd thought about the question. He still looked considerably less angry than usual, but his features were set in a frown and his brows drew together and made it look like he was planning something sinister.

“I do what she says because I love her.” He said eventually, glaring off into space as he thought his answer over.

Neither of the two boys could believe their ears. The Judd Birch had just declared his love publicly. It must have been the post-nut clarity.

When they failed to respond, he continued on; “Sometimes you gotta do dumb shit, even if it’s fucking annoying, to keep a girl.” He mumbled, still deep in thought. Had the situation been different, Nick would have found it quite funny to hear Judd talk about such tender things in his gruff voice.

Andrew leaned over the table, adjusting his glasses. “Is— Is that how you get a girlfriend?”

At that, the corners of Judd’s lips moved upwards ever so slightly. He turned fully to them, a wicked look in his eyes. “That’s how you get laid, numbnuts.”

Then Nick cut in; “But what after? What if I like this girl, and I really wanna touch her boobs, but I also want to talk to her. I mean just talk. Because she’s smart, and funny, and really nice,”

Judd dug through his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and opened the window on the wall behind him. He stuck one between his lips, and offered the pack up to the boys.

“We’re twelve.”

Judd merely shrugged and lit his own cigarette. “If you wanna touch her tits, you gotta talk to her first. And don’t be a little creep. Charm her and shit,” He explained.

Nick deadpanned. “Charm her?” Judd was everything but charming. It would forever remain the greatest mystery to him, how his brother managed to pull any girls at all.

Andrew pushed up his glasses. “Actually, what Judd is saying is true. You need to make her feel as if you care about her—“

“—I do care about her!” Nick protested.

Judd flicked a bit of his cigarette off over the window still. “Then it’s easy. Just talk to her, pussy.” He inhaled a long drag. “If she’s into small pricks, you’ll be just her type.”

The younger pouted. “Not funny, Judd.”

Judd cackled, lowly, sinisterly. “Then, how do you know if a girl likes you?” Andrew asked.

“She lets you touch her tits.”

Nick sighed. “C’mon, Judd! There has to be more to it— I mean, you have a girlfriend, so you obviously know.”

The eldest grunted and exhaled smoke through his nose. He thought for a bit before replying; “I was at a party, and I saw this girl, Y/n, and she was really fucking hot. Is really fucking hot,” He fixed the two middle schoolers a pointed look. “So I talked to her, turns out she’s really fucking sweet too. And when you meet a girl like that, all the rest comes naturally,” He finished his explanation, a bit smug as the two boys looked at him in wonder.

“Not to offend, b—but haven’t you dated lots of girls? How’d you do that?” Andrew asked.

Judd put his cigarette out in his, now empty, coke can. “Sure I have. You can also just fuck girls, but it’s a lot more fun if you like them,” He said.

“How do I do that, then? Do I have to talk to her too, even if I don’t like her?” Andrew was a bit eager now, but Nick had to admit that he was also itching for answers.

“No matter what, you gotta talk to her. Maybe not for long, and if you just wanna fuck, you have to say the right things,” He said, and then quickly added. “But don’t do that. I don’t want you two turning into little dicks,”

“Then.. What if you’re already friends with her?” It was a bit of a jump in topic, but Nick had to get answers, and right now was probably the only time he had the opportunity to ask.

Judd snorted. “You want to fuck one of your friends out there?” He cackled, motioning to the living room.

Nick turned red very quickly. “No.”

“Fuck, you’re a little simp!” The eldest was finding Nick’s personal troubles a little too funny, and he huffed, glaring at his brother. “But all the rules still apply. Be charming, talk to her, and don’t be a creep.” Judd eventually added, nodding at his brother.

“Thank you, Judd.” Nick muttered, and he meant it.

“Yeah, thank you, Judd,” Andrew echoed.

Judd grunted. “Yeah, whatever. But don’t, ever, spy on me and Y/n again. I mean it. Or I will gut both of you like fucking fish.”

Hi, hello,, thank you of making it this far!

Originally, I wanted to label this “16+ do not interact if you’re younger” but honestly I ate shit like this tf UP when I was 13 💀 idk if I made Judd a little too OOC, sorry big mouth writers ☹️✋ I hope you enjoyed, though

Small rant + update; tumblr has been acting up on my phone lately, idk what I did to make it so laggy lately, but I have to post from my computer now ),: ALSO I’m so mad I keep forgetting that the cursive I make in Google docs doesn’t work in tumblr ahhhhHHHH so I had to go over the whole thing again, I’m pressed

And anyways, I’ve been working on a really big project for a while now, it is literally my baby, and it’s a Loki x reader because I finally watched some marvel movies lol, I’ll wait with posting it till it’s completely done bc rn it’s kinda a mess (and not nearly done) but if anyone would be interested in beta reading the first 5 chapters please don’t hesitate reaching out to me!

You are wonderful! Thank you for reading <3

Request something? HERE!

Tags? @dlfvrr (this was the only instance I could find of someone wanting to be tagged in my Judd stuff, please reply to this if you do want to be tagged)

#big mouth #judd birch x reader #judd birch #judd bitch fr #judd birch smut #i hope this is okay #hormone monster #I love Judd #mental illness awareness #author needs sleep

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hollyhomburg · 4 months

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Before I Leave You (Pt.70)

(Sneak Peek) (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The pack meet with Moonbyul to discuss terms.

Tags: Fluff, drinking and drunk characters, hurt/comfort, trans! tae, dress up, girl on girl fluff, themes of forgiveness, vomiting, eating disorder mention but everything's good, brief sexual content, oral f. receiving, Exhibitionism, car sex, Talks of mental disorders, implied/confirmed autistic jimin,

W/c: 12.1k

A/n: Trying my hardest <3 I'm admittedly having a tough time right now, this chapter felt very nice to write because it's all about the beginning of the packs happy ending <3

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

At least Yoongi is sort of talking to you again. Sort of getting over it minute by minute. It’s hard. Namjoon watches you from where he's sprawled on the couch, holding a near empty bottle of champagne by the neck while Jungkook and Jin wrestle on the floor, sort of making out, sort of scenting each other as they go. Jimin requests a song that Tae would like- and then Yoongi and Hoseok are leaning over Yoongi's phone to make her the perfect playlist. happy to have something new and mundane to bicker over.

Morning is just cresting over the rooftops and the music is just turned down when gets up from the couch, slowly, dizzy. You're perched on the counter in your pj's watching Jimin and Jungkook chase each other around the room. the need to scent and wrestle and get all your restless energy out near palpable.

Hoseok and Jungkook have a tiny paper drink umbrella tucked behind their ears, the same one that Jin stuck in your drinks so that you can keep track of whose drink is whose. He and Jungkook gang up on Jimin to stick one into his hair, the tiny little baby bun that tae tied in his hair.

You giggle as Jungkook gives up and just loops his arms around Jimin's neck, no technice to it and all body weight dragging the three of them to the floor. Sprawled next to the library room door, now open. Tae’s makeup collection spread out on the green carpet like the fallen petals of some red flowering tree.

It changes from wrestling to tickling. and then the three of them are getting up and surrounding Yoongi, a paper umbrella in their fingers, Ganging up on your mate who takes it all with a huff and a surprisingly whiney, “guys.“

You still when Namjoon walks over, the same way you'd still if a wild animal were approaching. He doesn't settle close, just stands next to you, and pours himself the last melted bit of the drink in the blender. Pink and yellow swirling delicately. He makes a noise in his throat and looks at you like he hasn’t barely said a word to anyone in the whole last 24 hours, hasn’t barely said a word to you since you got off the phone with him and Moonbyul left the house.

You sip at your drink, lips pursed around the straw and when you're done, Namjoon takes it from you and puts it on the counter. You think at first that he might be cutting you off but then he fingers the gauze there.

"I should probably check these." You nod obedient, wordless, unsure what to say.

Fingers prodding at the red skin, delicate but knitting itself together slowly. “How much do they hurt?” he asks.

“Probably a two,” you rate, almost without thinking, staring at his downturned eyes. The way his eyelashes still cling together from salt. Face glossy. You want to wash his face, pad across his cheeks gently the way that Jin does after you've been crying (something that you admittedly do a lot- the pack's resident crybaby).

"So should I consider that a four or-"

"No, this time I'm being honest," Namjoon stiffens, "It doesn't hurt when I touch stuff unless I'm not careful." Being honest about your hurts and pains has never been easy for you. But Namjoon has shown you time and time again that he's willing to take your hurts and fix them. You have no reason not to tell him the truth.

Namjoon grips your palm, turning it over his hands again and again, looking down at your love line lifeline all tangled there and leveling you with a look that is neither angry nor resigned.

“Do you notice?” He asks, you swallow. Eyes itchy.

“Notice what?” His finger presses to the center of your palm, the hollow there.

“Still dry.” He says.

You think of the mice, of drowning, you don't pull your hand from Namjoon's grasp, but you know he wouldn't let you anyway. You think about the mice, of dying, of trying to stay dry despite the things that try to swallow you whole. Water is not gentle, water is hungry. The rain pitters against the dark glass and melts the snow outside. But you and namjoon and the rest of the pack are dry and warm and safe in here.

Your breath hitches, but you close your fingers around his hand and nod. “Still dry.” You agree.

Namjoon closes his eyes and breaks the tension and this distance between you. Pulling himself between your thighs where you sit on the kitchen counter. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders to tug you to his chest, and breathing deep in the hollow of your throat.

He pulls back just as abruptly. Hands resting on the counter on either side of your thighs. All up in your space and sour-smelling. It takes great effort for you not to turn away and keep his piercing eye contact.

“Don’t do something like that again. Ever.” His jaw rolls and his scent spikes angry. But it's all temporary as you nose under his jaw to soothe him. Namjoon has every right to be angry with you for leaving, the same way Yoongi does.

“Never. Promise.” You hold out your pinky and you mean it.

Namjoon looks at you for a second, staring you down, waiting for you to look away. But then after a second, he loops his pinky through.

Coming Saturday May 18th at 5PM EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below)

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ryttu3k · 7 months

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Baldur's Gate 3 fanfiction recs

Ongoing list of Baldur's Gate 3 fanfiction recs. Sorted into oneshots, complete multi-chapters, and in-process multi-chapters, otherwise listed alphabetically. Italicised titles are absolute favourites.

Mostly Astarion-centric because the brainrot is real.

This is not including the approximately 1.4 million words worth fics I have bookmarked to read later god help me.

Oneshots

A Helping Hand by rjestudioarts. Astarion/Halsin, 2.2k. Astarion goes to Measures to do something for his lover.

a social forced choice question and answer game by unsungillumination. Tadpolycule, 1.5k. The gang play FMK.

adjustment period by ushauz. Wyll/Astarion, 3.6k. Wyll copes with whole new senses.

ascendant, alone by atomjenkins. Astarion-centric, 3.3k. Astarion begins his new life as the Vampire Ascendant.

An Unconventional Miracle by siderealOtaku. Gale/Astarion, 2k, explicit. Gale casts Wish. Without his hands!

anything? choose to live by alwaysyourqueen. Astarion-centric (minor Astarion/Wyll), 4.7k. Astarion sees a familiar face amidst the newly-freed spawn.

Best Unspoken by Asidian. Wyll/Astarion, 4.8k. Wyll learns, through painful lessons, about minding his tongue.

caught between the dark and the dreaming by Raayide. Astarion-centric, 18.9k. Astarion is dosed with klauthgrass; he and his companions deal with the consequences.

Changeling by Powderpuff. Wyll and Orin, 2.9k. Francesca Ravengard never dies. It saves Orin's life, too.

chaos construct by birthright. Astarion/Dark Urge, 4.9k. Astarion offers the Dark Urge his devotion.

Come Hell or High Water by Udaberri. Astarion/Karlach/Wyll, 606 words. Karlach returns to Avernus, but this time, she's not alone.

Concessions by Ancalime1. Astarion/Gale, 3.6k. Gale takes Astarion on a date to the stars.

Crisis of Faith by The_Dancing_Walrus. Astarion and Shadowheart, 4.2k. Shadowheart meets the God of Murder.

Dagger to the Heart by trashmaven. Developing Gale/Astarion, 1.3k. Astarion finds an interesting book in Gale's tent.

Deadwinter Warmth by Asidian. Astarion/Karlach/Wyll, 4k. A few times Astarion is kept warm.

Did I Think That Out Loud? by SomeoneNamedGem. Mildly tadpolycule, 3.4k. The tadfools versus thought-sharing brainworms.

Dried Oleander by daring_elm. Astarion and Shadowheart, 5.9k. Astarion and Shadowheart navigate trauma (theirs and each other's).

fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty by solistrix. Aurelia and her siblings, 6.8k. Aurelia reflects on being the eldest sibling.

Fool Me Once by cyranonic. Karlach, Gortash, and Astarion, 6.9k. Karlach and her history with Gortash.

Five times Wyll spill the jug (and the one time Astarion does) by Yinello. Astarion/Wyll, 2.3k. Astarion vs Wyll's puns.

folie a deux by binder. Astarion/Gale, 8.3k. Astarion, a college student, starts having some peculiar dreams.

Four Sonnets and a Death Threat by HigharollaKockamamie. Gale-centric, 1.3k. Gale writes poetry.

Friendly Fire by Asidian. Karlach/Astarion, 5k. Astarion gets into a spot of trouble, Karlach comes to his aid.

hanging on your words by vampyreerotica. Gale/Astarion, 10.4k. An exchange of emails between Professors Dekarios and Ancunin re: the Karsite Tapestry.

Happiest Place on Earth by partingxshot. Astarion/Wyll, 8.8k. Wyll meets a Handsome Stranger trying to jump the line at Disney World.

Hedonism by ushuaz. Wyll/Karlach/Astarion, 4.1k. Astarion sort of stumbles into a relationship with Wyll and Karlach, and decides to teach Wyll hedonism.

Howl by menzoberranyr. Shadowheart-centric, 2.4k. Werewolf Shadowheart agenda lives!

if we put our worms together by corviiid. Gen, 1.9k. Short collection of modern AU microfics.

It's the Thought that Counts by Sephiius. Omeluum/Blurg, 3k. Omeluum attempts to make breakfast for Blurg, with 'attempts' being the keyword.

jackrabbit by tomorrowsrain. Astarion-centric, 15.6k. Astarion slowly develops a friendship with the others.

Jergal's Guide to Surviving a Mindflayer Invasion (And All of the Tadpole Sex That Comes With It) by falco_c. So many, 1.8k. Withers sees All (and lowkey wishes he didn't).

Just a Touch Pathetic by patster223. Gale/Astarion, 4.6k. Modern AU, explicit. "Or, two men try to bully each other into having self-esteem and then have sex about it."

Laborious Love by BhaalsDeep. Karlach/Astarion, 6.9k. Astarion makes a gift for Karlach.

Let's pray to the stars (for another chance) by Astralia. Astarion/Gale, 12.4k. Gale, born 170 years earlier than in canon, visits Baldur's Gate, and is seduced by a pale elf.

Like A River Flows by smallhorizons. Wyll/Astarion, 4.3k. On the eve of their departure for Baldur's Gate, Wyll considers his past and Astarion attempts sincerity.

Loopholes by starkraving. Wyll/Astarion, 5.3k. Astarion tries to work out the details of Wyll's pact. It backfires somewhat.

Melted Snow by Asidian. Karlach/Astarion, 3.3k. Cuddling for warmth!

noble pursuits by arcanefoxx. Astarion/Gale, 3.3k. Gale ascends. Astarion does not.

no one will love me like you again by FlowerCitti. Karlach/Astarion, 2.6k. Karlach regains the ability to touch.

perennial by weatheredlaw. Astarion/Halsin, 1.9k. A newly-cured Astarion experiences the seasons at Reithwin.

Pretty Dagger by Mumble_Bee. Gale/Astarion, 2.9k. Astarion shows Gale the pretty dagger he found.

Repairs by Asidian. Karlach/Astarion, 1.4k. Karlach approaches Astarion in his tent.

restless all night by hermitized. Karlach and Gale, 2.2k. Karlach and Gale commiserate over their fates.

Say you, say you, say you love me by God_I_Love_Butter. Gale/Astarion, 4.1k. Gale uses a Wish spell.

Seven Minutes in Avernus by cyranonic. Astarion and Karlach, 3.5k. Astarion and Karlach get trapped together.

Shar's Blessing Upon Ye by ushauz. Astarion-narrated but Brainworm Squad-focused, 11.3k. Shar gives the Tadfools a parting gift. Naturally, they all cope terribly well.

Snakes & Ladders by Nivasi. Pre-Astarion/Gale, 6.6k. Cazador sends Astarion to steal a valuable artefact from the Archmage of Waterdeep. It all goes hilariously... right?

Soak It In by shinymailbox. Karlach/Astarion, 3.8k. With time running out, Karlach and Astarion go for a swim.

Some Culinary Advice by Asidian. Astarion and Gale, 1.8k. Astarion attempts to cook.

surprise, surprise by foxflowering. Wyll/Astarion, 3.7k, explicit. Wyll has a surprise. Two of them, actually. Also some beautiful character study for them both, but yes, two... surprises.

Taters by OrangeChickenPillow. Karlach-centric, 1.6k. Karlach finds new speakers for her language.

temporal displacement by PurpleCatGhost. Wyll/Astarion, 4.8k. 20-year-old Wyll Ravengard meets a stranger who definitely seems to know him.

That Blasted Dog by Asidian. Astarion-centric, 3.8k. The camp gets a dog. This is absolutely positively not a problem at all.

That old honey and vinegar by wearethewitches. Isobel and Thisobald, 1.4k. Isobel summons her brother for a first and last talk.

the cure to growing older by combat_jorts. Gale/Astarion, 8.3k. Gale buys a house! Great! It's haunted! Not great!

The Dead Shot by anonymous. Gale/Astarion, 2.1k. Modern AU. Astarion discovers new advances in photography.

the ghost of elturel by Raayide. Astarion and Zevlor, 4.5k. Astarion and Zevlor have a conversation. There are metaphors.

the hollow houses and vacant lots (and the shattered windows and splintered doors) by perhapsitiswitchcraft. Wyll/Astarion (pre-ship), 16.3k. Wyll meets a monster hunter in a swamp.

The House of Astarion by Pokimoko. Astarion + squad, 12.4k. There's a monster at the centre of a labyrinth.

the walls became the world by Raayide. Ascended Astarion, 4k. Astarion eats a bird.

Thermostasis by TheGoldenGhost. Karlach/Astarion, 7.9k. Thermoregulation as a love language.

Trial by Fire by monsterkiss. Karlach/Lae'zel, 3.7k. Lae'zel has… some fascinating flirtation techniques.

Uncrossed Lines by Asidian. Astarion-centric (with Wyll, Halsin, and Karlach), 1.9k. Astarion's friends defend his boundaries.

Upon Reflection by ellnick. Astarion/Gale, 2.7k. Astarion makes Gale have some realisations about his past relationship with Mystra.

We Happy Few by geometea. Wyll/Astarion, 30.1k. Fifteen years ago, Wyll saved the world, and all it cost him was his soul. Fourteen and a half years ago, Astarion disappeared.

well received by howeverlong. Astarion and Scratch, 1.3k. Astarion is Befriended(tm).

Words by darthiir. Astarion/Gale, 4.5k, explicit. Astarion has a strong reaction when Gale speaks to him in Elvish.

Multi-chapters and series

A Haughty Spirit (Goeth Before a Fall) by backflips. Astarion/Wyll, 11.4k. Astarion and Wyll swap bodies.

And All I Get Is The Gift Of Growing Old by Hatigave. God!Gale/Ascended!Astarion, 14.4k, explicit. Astarion and Gale are tremendously bad for each other.

Attrition by theneonpineapple. Wyll/Astarion, 62.9k. Prince Astarion of Larian vows to use his arranged marriage to Prince Wyll of Ultania to find a cure for the vampirism he's been cursed with.

burning bright by floralprintshark. Wyll/Karlach/Astarion, 9.9k. Technically an ongoing series, but all the individual parts are complete oneshots. Wyll, Karlach, and Astarion work out assorted aspects of their developing relationship.

Coward and Also a King by Yennoodles. Astarion/Gale, 7.4k. Astarion comes face to face with the reincarnation of his lover, Karsus.

damned in loving fatherhood by ushauz. Wyll and his daughter, Wyll/Karlach/Astarion, 31.1k. Wyll has a daughter.

give up (be loved) give up (be loved) by OrangeChickenPillow. Karlach/Astarion (can be read platonic), 13.4k. Sometimes you really need a hug.

Glass by ZiGraves. Wyll/Astarion, 38.7k. A Cinderella retelling.

Hells Escape Pact by ushauz. Wyll/Karlach/Astarion, 17.6k. Wyll is a devil, Karlach has been in hell for thirteen years, and Astarion was sacrificed. They meet in Avernus and decide it's time to get out of Avernus, tyvm.

how to escape the torment nexus by ushauz. Astarion/Wyll, 33.2k. Not many of the party survive the Netherbrain. Astarion does, and decides Wyll will be another.

love what is mortal by weatheredlaw. Halsin/Astarion, 36.6k, explicit (but not a main focus). Astarion decides it's time for a family reunion.

Monster Support Group by ushauz. Astarion/Wyll, Shadowheart/Karlach, 57.1k. No tadpoles, but they come together nonetheless.

Old Breaks by Asidian. Halsin/Astarion, 8k. Astarion has chronic pain from Cazador's tortures, Halsin looks after him.

on the dust of the running dogs by Raayide. Astarion/Karlach, 34.2k. Astarion kills Karlach. It goes downhill from there.

Perceived Impressions by Acinonyx1. Halsin/Astarion, 45.3k, explicit (not a main focus). Astarion is captured by the goblins, and thrown in the cage of a surprisingly non-hostile bear.

Salvation in Strange Places by ushauz. Ensemble, 13k. Before ever being infected, the companions find escape elsewhere.

Sharing by Asidian. Tadpolycule, 6k. Everyone is a polycule; people communicate.

self-same by ajaystillblue. Astarion/Gale, 42.6k, explicit. Gale and Astarion are more similar than either expected.

shout love at the heart of the world by partingxshot. Wyll and Ansur, Wyll/Astarion, 10.2k. Wyll meets the Heart of the Gate.

The Baldur's Gate ABCs by improbable_archivy. Gen, 2.9k. A spectacular collection of poems!

The Cure by BlackwaterVial. Astarion/Raphael, 48.7k. Raphael ends up on the receiving end of a clumsy seduction by a newly-turned spawn and decides, hmm, he can do something with this.

What Drifts on the Air by Letterblade. Tadpolycule (and Halsin), 41.1k, explicit. "*slaps roof of orgy* this baby can fit so many feelings in it!"

Who's the goose that's on the loose? by JustPoro. Mild Astarion/Tav, 8.8k. Is that your sandwich? Not any more.

Multi-chapters - in process

dark fruits and purple rain by Raayide. Astarion/Wyll, currently 61.3k, two parts posted. Astarion and Wyll are both touched by the Hells.

Mausoleum of Memories by QuantumFeat72 and Yennoodles. Gale/Astarion, currently 26.9k, 9/25 chapters posted. A god finally hears Astarion's pleas.

No Good End in View by not_whelmed_yet. Astarion/Karlach/Wyll, currently 60.8k, 10 chapters posted. Wyll meets a vampire and kills him. It doesn't stick.

Seen by ayvaines. Gale/Astarion, Cazador/Astarion, currently 150.9k, 41/70 chapters posted. Astarion joins his fiance Cazador's Dungeons & Dragons game, and finds something in the game's charming DM, Gale. (Content warning: may be triggering for those in/who have been in abusive relationships.)

Silhouette by cozzybob. Durge/Astarion/Halsin, Gale/OC, currently 104.8k, 18/35 chapters posted. Figures from both Astarion and Tav's past strike back.

snare by parsnipit. Astarion/Halsin, eventual Astarion/Halsin/Dark Urge, currently 48.9k, 11 chapters posted. Fresh from helping save the world, Halsin makes a discovery in the depths of the Czarr Palace.

Something Lonesome and Wild by passing_lives. Astarion/Gale, currently 179.1k, 32 chapters posted. Cazador's ritual requires his spawn to have spawn. Astarion is captured by the mind flayers with one in tow.

The Last Will and Testament of Cazador Szarr by AbigailMoment. Astarion/Gale, currently 76.4k, 21 chapters posted. New vampire lord Gale inherits a spawn.

The Season by Linnetagain. Gale/Astarion, currently 326.3k, 26 chapters posted. Dancing On Ice AU, where Astarion is an ex-Olympian figure skater and Gale is a famous musician.

The Smallest Changes Have The Largest Ripples by Hyrulehearts1123. Dark Urge and Jaheira, Dark Urge/Astarion, currently 40.5k. Multi-part series, all individual parts complete so far. Jaheira adopts a strange child.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion ancunin #the pale elf #bloodweave #wyllstarion #bloodpact #hellspawn #wyllachstarion #tadpolycule #fanfiction

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ancha-aus · 2 months

Text

RealAgeAU Drabble - Kitten Lair

Hello I am back! @spotaus get in here friend!

And I know... I know... a bit earlier in the timeline again but i had an idea :D

:D :D :D

Because i am weak! :D

timeline wise: Nightmare got changed into a child like three and a half months ago in this drabble. so the gang has been in farmtale for two weeksish.

first drabble prev drabble next drabble

No beta! We going :D

*-------------------------*

Ccino pauses the clenaing of the counter as he waits impatiently for the last customer to leave. He loves and adores his cat cafe but it is already past 5 and he has been passive aggressively cleaning the tables around them.

Luckily the customers finish up soon after and leave with a cheerful wave.

Ccino rushes to turn the open sign to closed and turns off the main lamps. He closes the roll curtains and gets to work on cleaning the last table.

He however waits with cleaning the coffee machine, just in case.

Ccino keeps glancing at the enterance as he goes about cleaning up the cat toys and hearding the cats out of the kitchen once again. He fills their food bowls and puts fresh water into the water bowls and water fountains.

A glance at the clock shows that it is already half past six and Ccino sighs again.

No show again.

one of the cats stares at him and mews. Ccino glances over and knows it is Berry. He chuckles nad pets him "I dunno little Berry. Maybe I am overreacting..."

He can't help it. Ccino had just gotten used to having Nightmare visit once a week.

Many would proabbly tell him to tell the Stars. to make it obvious something was wrong. There had to be after all with Nightmare visiting.

Except that all Nightmare would do at first was study the cats. Ccino had once managed to collect all his courage, which wasn't a lot mind you, and ask Nightmare what he was doing.

Nightmare had looked at him before answering calmly. That he wanted to study the cats.

Ccino had been very worried. Mostly because there was one small detail about his cafe that people just seemed to ignore. there were the normal cats. the cats that ccino took in and helped find new owners for.

Then there were the special cats. the cats he would never let anyone adopt.

How do you explain that the reason a cat has blue fur is because the cat is somehow connected to an important player in the multiverse?

Yeah. He can't explain that.

Yet... none of the cross-multiverse customers ever seemed to notice. And that is saying something as the cats are not subtle!

But... Nightmare hadn't been here for that. He would always come after closing. He would just spend his time watching the cats interact and play togehter. And then he would leave after an hour.

Ccino had watched him watch them. Taking note that Nightmare never once actually reached out to touch them, even after the cats had gone over to investigate him!

he had pointed it out to nightmare once. just to see. mentioned that the cat near him now really liked pets. Nightmare had frowned slightly before slowly and so carefully petting the cat near him.

That had been a turning point. it is just... it is hard to see someone as evil and unredeemable when he just stared in wonder at a cat who accepted his petting.

Nightmare would keep coming by and Ccino would start to ask him what he wanted drink or food wise. Nightmare had been confused but Ccino had just pointed out the cafe part of the whole situation.

Nightmare would always order the same two things. An ice coffee with a lot of cream and sugar and the white chocolate cheesecake.

He would sit in a chair and just pet the cats that seemed to follow him around.

Nightmare meeting his own cat had been a sight to behold honestly. Noot had sneaked into the area without Ccino noticing only to have Nightmare suddenly have his own cat version licking his skull as if Noot had been planning on licking the goop away.

Trying to keep Noot or any of the gang cats away from Nightmare had been a struggle and eventually Ccino just gave up. He let the special cats near the outcode and nothing bad happened. Nightmar ejust petted the cats that came near him and left the ones who didn't alone.

Ccino sighs and turns off the coffee machine when it hits seven.

He is worried.

Which is stupid! There is no reason why Ccino should be worried about Nightmare! Maybe the other is just busy or something!

But here he is. waiting anxiously for one of his favourite customers to return.

Yes Ccino knows it is weird to grow slightly protective over a god but people just don't get it. Seeing someone interact with animals can change your perspective of someone and the way Nightmare just seemed so fascinated and mystified by the cats? Ccino can't explain how the wonder was just something he hadn't seen on just any customers. Nightmare had looked like he was only learning about cats for the first time in his life.

Ccino shakes his skull and focusses on the cats. he quickly finds Noot and their newest arrival.

Ccino smiles "Hey there Noot. How is your little friend doing?"

Noot opens his one eye and looks up before moving one of his four tails and revealing the little kitten that had just appeared.

Ccino has a good idea of who this little cat is. He had heard the rumours going around. About Dust and Cross having been spotted with a tiny babybones.

Ccino figures that is the kitten. Still strange that Noot was the one to first show up wiht the kitten just riding his back. It wasn't until a while later that the others in the cat gang got invested in the kitten, Dust- euh. Murder was first. Murder would pick the kitten up and go towards a spot and lazily clean the ktiten in the warm sunlight. Killer- well Stain was next. He went all up in Murder's business to get near the kitten. All while Noot just watched over them. Rust had been next and made sure to bring food to the tiny kitten. Rust never seemed to mind the ktiten playing even if it hit the headwound. Oreo was last but was now all over the kitten. staying near and watching continuously.

Another curious thing. How the five adult cats made sure to keep the new kitten far away from any of the other cats. a few tried and Ccino had been worried Murder would live up to his name for a moment there.

Ccino smiles nad pets Noot "Maybe that is why he hasn't visited... I am going to assume you are the baby's main babysitter with how often you are clsoe to the kitten."

It is just.. Noot has been getting slower and weaker. it may not be obvious to others but it was obvious to Ccino. the way Noot tended to hide more. ate less. spend more time just laying around instead of stalking others. How Noot would no longer climb to high places and just stay near the ground.

It is worrisome.

But Ccino has no idea what to do with this information... In matter of fact everyone seemed happy about the fact that the gang was quiet.

Ccino carefully strokes the soft fur of Noot "I am sorry i can't help more."

Noot however looks fully calm as he pushes his skull into the hand for a pet before turning back to the kitten and cleaning him.

Ccino follows the sight. It is a pretty little kitten alright. A beautiful black coat which seems to shine a slight purple in the direct sunlight. soft purple eyes and just the cutest little pink nose and pink toebeans.

The tiny kitten mews uphappily as Noot cleans him. some of that very soft fur sticking up from the cleaning.

Ccino sighs as he pets the older cat, noting that the sharp eyes seemed duller as well, before going to check the other cats. seeing the four other cats join their leader and kitten.

Ccino tries to calm himself as he goes back to the kitchen to finish cleaning and preparing.

everything is going to be okay.

*-------------------------*

Look. I am not gonna lie. I am weak for Ccino and Nightmare having been friends :D

first drabble prev drabble next drabble

#utmv #realageau #ccino sans #no actual gang or baby today #but they are here in spirit!#the cat gang!#yes all the special cats reflect what the real versions are doing :D #I just didn't want to make this too long hihi #why is Noot-Cat doing bad?#noot cat is pretty much nightmare's corruption.#The more nightmare gets used to his real age again and the less magic of the apples remain the weaker noot cat becomes.#Which does mean that noot cat will die when the left over magic fully leaves Nightmare.#It is also why Noot cat is so protective over kitten.#The kitten is real age Nightmare. and Noot is protecting the kitten just like the corruption did with nightmare.#I was gonna say more but i forgot lmao.#a little look around the multiverse :3 bit earlier in the timeline :D

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propertyofwhitney67 · 2 months

Text

Time to pay up

M!Whitney x AFAB!Reader

Words: 1084

Tw: pegging, smut, subish Whitney?

Note: I finally got around to writing this, I've had it planned for so long. Probably unrealistic since I have no idea what I'm doing.

“You fucking what?” Whitney asked, baffled that I accomplished the supposedly impossible bet. He looked around with a flushed face before telling his gang to fuck off. “How did you fucking do it?” He asked, slamming the door shut once they left.

Shaking my head, I smirked at him. “Doesn’t matter, you have to pay up now.” He only seemed to get more flustered and angry, “A bet is a bet Whitney.” I’ve been waiting a long time for this day and I was not about to let him weasel his way out of this.

Whitney grumbled angrily, “Fuck you.” and stood there with his arms crossed. He actually looked anxious about the whole situation. I dropped my smirk and ushered him to sit next to me on the bed. Whitney rolled his eyes but sat beside me, “Now what?”

I tried to grab his hand to bring him some kind of comfort, but he yanked it away. Sighing, I stood up and pulled out a box from under my shitty bed. “You have a few choices.” I opened the box, revealing the many sex toys I’ve collected.

His eyes widened briefly before going back to normal, “You really are a fucking slut.” He smirked and picked up one of the larger dildos, “I can take this one.” He noticed the look on my face, “What? You don’t think I can?” He asked, looking vaguely offended.

Holding back a smile, I shook my head. “Let’s start off a bit smaller.” I picked up a more average sized one, “This is good.” He rolled his eyes but put down the large one he was holding.

“I could take it…” He grumbled loudly to himself and dug around in the box. “Why do you even have these when I’m all you need?” He asked, overconfident in his ability to please me. Don’t get me wrong, he does, but he can be a bit selfish at times.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh, you sweet thing.” Whitney frowned and angrily slammed the box shut. “Now strip.” I all but ordered him. He opened his mouth to fight back but decided not to bother, instead stripping and laying down on the bed. “Good boy.”

“Oh, fuck off!” He shouted and fidgeted anxiously, “Let’s just get this over with already.” He wasn’t in the best of moods, but that will change soon. I know he’ll enjoy this even if fights it.

Ignoring him, I put the box back under the bed and undressed myself. I made sure to take my sweet time, I wanted him to suffer a bit. “I won the bet and want to savor this.” Whitney groaned again and covered his face with his arms. He took a shaky deep breath, mentally preparing himself for this whole event. “Attaboy.” I whispered, lubing up two fingers to stretch him out before fucking him.

Whitney jumped at the feeling of my fingers teasing his ass, “Ah…” I smiled to myself at the breathy sound. I couldn’t wait to pull more from him, I want to hear him whine. I quietly shushed him and slowly eased my index finger in, making sure to take things slow.

He whined at the feeling of my finger stretching his ass, “I never thought I’d hear you whine, Whitney.” He tried to sass back but I added another finger, causing his to whine and moan again. “It’s like music to my ears.”

Once he was sufficiently stretched out enough to take my strap. I slid my fingers out, causing him to whine at the loss. Smirking to myself, I lubed up my silicone cock. “I don’t need that.” Whitney demanded. He really thinks he doesn't need lube, “I told you, I can take it.” He's an anal virgin and as much as I want him to cry, I don't want to hurt him his first time. Anything after this is his own doing.

Hovering over him, I reminded him of the current circumstances. “I won and you’ll do as I say.” He took a shaky deep breath, once again mentally preparing himself. “Attaboy.” I whispered, teasing his ass with the head of my silicone cock.

He groaned loudly as the head of my cock entered his ass. He covered his face with his arm, hiding his face. Noticing this, I pinned his arms above his head. “I fucking hate you.” He thrashed his arms against my grip but I only smiled, pushing the head of my cock past his entrance.

The further I thrusted into his ass, the more Whitney seemed to give in. He still talked back, but he wasn’t fighting against my grip anymore. “Don’t hide your face again, I want to see the look on your face while I fuck you.” He glared but nodded and I released his arms.

Trying to gain some sense of dominance, he decided to grope my chest. Not exactly giving a shit, I bottomed out inside his ass. Not caring to warn him, I set a decent pace. Fucking his ass, trying to find his sweet spot. This not being my first time pegging one of my boyfriends I easily found it, “Ah…” Whitney moaned, letting go of my chest and fisting the sheets.

I smirked, enjoying the sounds he was making. He sounded and looked more and more like a whore the faster I set my pace. “You should have let me do this sooner.” I watched as his cock leaked precum onto his stomach, “Look how much you’re enjoying it.” I grabbed his cock, teasing the tip with my thumb.

Whitney whined, “Shut up, slut.” I began to stroke his cock, pulling more moans and whines from him. God, I wish I had a phone to record this. Between my thrusting and stroking he stood no chance, cumming soon after. “Fuck!” His cum painting my stomach white while he convulsed below me.

I fucked him through his orgasm before pulling out and letting go of his cock, “You did so good.” I cooed down at him, rubbing comforting circles on his hip. I took off my strap and tossed it to the side before grabbing a few napkins to clean him up.

“Never…again.” He grumbled halfheartedly between deep breaths. He looked, and no doubt felt exhausted. This was his first time doing this after all. We both knew he enjoyed it and there will be another time. I instead focused on cleaning him up instead. That was a conversation for another time.

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

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photo1030 · 3 months

Text

Leather and Lace - Chapter 23: Colter - The Winter Storm

Summary: After a major job goes seriously wrong, the gang is driven out of the area.

*This beautiful image comes from @gem-likes-rdr

*Thank you to @appalachiancowboy99 for being my sounding board.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter - TBD, but there are a handful of future chapters that were posted ahead of time

Shouts and chaos reign through the Van der Linde camp as it is hastily packed up. The stale odor of fires being doused with water chokes the air as sooty particles bounce into the sky like summer fireflies. Wooden boxes and crates crack loudly as they get hastily slammed shut, and wagons creak as the gang’s few possessions get roughly tossed inside. Ms. Grimshaw’s sharp voice barks instructions at the members who stayed behind while groups went out on their respective jobs. Your head rings, throbbing from anxiety and fear. You have never seen the gang so disheveled and unhinged and it is most unsettling. You are still trying to piece together what happened as you tend to the bloody wounds of your friends who are laid out in front of you.

Apparently this ferry boat heist that Dutch and Micah had been planning for weeks went horribly wrong. The delectable smell of a take worth $150,000 in bank revenue was too tantalizing to pass up, but it also came with high risks. Arthur had tried to steer the fools from it, even Hosea tried. But their collective reasoning fell on deaf and indignant ears. So wanting no part of it himself, Arthur left the camp in a huff with Hosea to work their own real estate job instead.

Dutch and Micah had taken a collection of the remaining outlaw misfits up to the town of Blackwater, the new up-and-coming port city of West Elizabeth. The town proudly buzzes with new businesses and commerce, with citizens and visitors flocking to the growing community. It is a lucrative area, brimming with lumber, mining, and port travel businesses along the Flat Iron Lake and its tributaries.

Details of what transpired on the ferry boat are still unclear, as there was little time to explain what happened. But afterwards, Dutch and the others came tearing into camp like the devil himself was chasing them, hollering to anyone within earshot to pack it in. No time for pleasantries, just throw the shit in a wagon right this minute and move.

Like a cloud of mosquitoes that scatters off of calm water when a stone is thrown, everyone explodes into an almost rehearsed motion, hurriedly moving to their respective areas to toss whatever humble belongings they have into crates.

Fortunately, because you and Arthur share a living space now, he is able to pack up the belongings for the both of you, trying his best to be careful with your things while you are occupied elsewhere, hovering over the wounded. Arthur dismantles the tent quickly with the help of Reverend Swanson before he moves to assist you with packing the medical tent next.

You try to remain calm, balancing packing supplies with tending to your injured friends, when out of the corner of your eye you see little Jack, his eyes filled with fearful tears of confusion. His mother has him sitting on the end of one of the wagons where she can keep a watchful eye on him, making sure he doesn’t get trampled under someone’s hurried feet.

He sits perfectly still, nervously nibbling his fingers, as a constant in a whirlwind of commotion all around him. A hard lump forms in your throat as your heart aches for the poor child who is scared and confused as to the swirling chaos which is dangerously close to swallowing him up whole. Amazingly, the boy never seems to have too many issues with living out in the open and on the run like this. But when he sees the people who are always protecting him with their own fear pooling in their eyes, it causes Jack’s little body to shake with a new kind of panic.

Slowly turning your face away from Jack, your gaze falls back to your monumental task at hand. Davey and Jenny are laid out in front of you, both groaning and gasping in pain from the gunshot wounds they sustained in the Blackwater robbery. Your attention skips between the two of them, changing bandages and administering tinctures and tonics in an effort to ease their pain. Reverend Swanson even offers up some of his morphine to help. And they will certainly need it for the journey ahead.

Both Davey and Jenny’s injuries are severe and they shouldn’t be moved at all, but that is simply not an option. A sharp pang of guilt washes over you that you can’t do more for them so you patch them up as best you can, trying to make them comfortable. You then proceed to pack what you can while still staying within arms length of both of them, watching over them like a hawk. Ms. Grimshaw would normally assist you, but she’s got her own hands full right now. The whole camp has been given the directive to be packed and in place to move out as soon as possible.

You place the last of the medical supplies into a crate to be placed into Arthur’s wagon when Dutch stalks through the area, gauging the progress of the camp’s dismantling.

“Come on, people, we got to move!” he hollers, urgently sweeping his arm towards the lot of nerve-wracked gang members.

“What about supplies?” interjects Mr. Pearson from his station, his face red with exertion as he heaves the last crate into the chuck wagon. “Food stocks are low.”

“No time”, barks Dutch. “We’ll just have to see what we can pick up along the way.”

“Along the way to where?” you ask incredulously, eyebrows raised in challenge, as there has been no mention of a plan or destination of any kind. But you forget yourself, and more importantly, who you are talking to.

Dutch quickly spins on you, his dark eyes flash in your direction, his shoulders taught, pulling him even taller and more menacing.

“Nevermind about that.” The words are growled out slow and low in a warning that makes you instantly recoil. “It is not your concern. I’m handling it.”

But your stubbornness gets the best of you, as that answer is simply not going to placate you, not when your family’s lives are in your hands. You shake your head, face twisting up in disbelief as you look down at Davey’s blood-soaked body.

“But what about-”

“Not now, Y/N!” Dutch’s deep voice raises in volume to immediately end the conversation. ”Just look after those who need medical attention and let me handle the move.”

Your eyes skip over to Arthur for help, but his face is set in stone with a grim expression that you cannot place.

“Just do as you're told, Y/N”, he says flatly.

That is all that Arthur can mutter before heading over to finish packing your shared tent.

—----------------------------------

Following the shootout, Blackwater and the entirety of the great Plains and Tall Trees region are put on lock-down. Pinkertons are brought in to cover the area to patrol like a dog ravaged with fleas, looking for the elusive Van Der Linde Gang. The Pinkerton Agency is a private security guard and detective agency that is known for their ruthless and sometimes violent tactics. Prominent companies and rich businessmen began to hire these groups shortly after the Civil War as bounty hunters of sorts to protect their interests and to help put an end to the “lawlessness of the Wild West”.

Upon hearing that these men have now joined local law enforcement in chasing you all down makes your blood run cold. Suddenly the gravity of what your gang does, Arthur in particular, hits you full on. This “Robinhood-esque” lifestyle is no longer as romantic a notion as you once believed. And you are not so naive to deduce that if Dutch Van Der Linde is their target, then Arthur’s neck is surely in danger of a hangman’s noose as well.

The whole territory is left in chaos in the gang’s wake. The ferryboat was a hailstorm of gunfire, killing lawmen and civilians alike. The law is not able to confirm if the gang was able to escape with the ferryboat money, as the cache has yet to be recovered. And this leaves the locals in a flurry, digging in gardens and backyards to see if the money was stashed anywhere where strangers fitting the gang’s collective descriptions were rumored to be lurking.

Truth be told, the gang could not escape with the stolen money and instead, stashed it in an undisclosed location in Blackwater known only to Dutch and Hosea. They will have to come back for it when it’s safe and who knows when that will be. Dutch knew this would not be an easy job, but his arrogance has left nothing but destruction behind.

But it wasn’t just those poor souls on the ferryboat who suffered. The “Blackwater Massacre”, as it is being referred to in the newspapers, has resulted in casualties to your family as well. John took a hit to the arm during the heist and Charles suffered a badly burned hand. But they got off lucky.

Davey Callander was hit in the gut. It’s bad, too. The bullet tore right through his belly. You try to dress the wound as best you can to quell the bleeding, but you know it’s not good. His brother Mac was also shot at the scene, but apparently was not able to escape with the others. Whether Mac has been caught or killed, no one knows for sure.

And then there’s Jenny. Sweet Jenny Kirk. She took a bullet, too, the fragment ricocheted around in her chest like a ball kicked around a schoolyard. As you hold your hand over her wound, watching the viscous red liquid pool around your fingers, you know in your heart what’s coming. Her soft brown eyes look to you, seeking that confirmation of whether she’s dying. But gazing into her ever-paling face, you don’t have the heart to tell her the truth.

“Everything is going to be fine, Jenny.” Smiling softly, you gently run your fingers through her hair before cupping her cheek. “I need you to relax and take it easy. I know it hurts and I’ll do everything I can to make it stop.” A tear rolls down the side of her face as she whimpers and nods, placing all of her trust in you.

And then there's Sean. Sean is missing, as well. He was last seen tucked behind a building, about to be swarmed by Pinkertons. He’s another one that was left behind, no one knowing whether he is dead or alive.

Having nowhere to escape to, Dutch pushes your lot up into the Grizzly Mountains of Ambarino. It is a hard path and the gang leader is convinced that the law will not bother with the chase up there. With the situation becoming dire, he decides that you all would have to flee the area completely until this mess blows over. The threat of the swarming law is oppressive as it chases your group, strangling you all from any resources or salvation. There are few options for respite and none of them are too pleasing to begin with.

As the procession of wagons rumbles further north, a helacious storm settles in, swallowing the gang in bitter cold and ice. The persistent snow covers your tracks into the mountains but it is a hard and treacherous journey. You make the dangerous trek up the mountainside and fortunately manage to lose your pursuers in the process. But that seems to be the only bit of luck the gang has been granted.

Sadly, the atmosphere inside your wagon grows even more grim as Jenny’s labored breathing starts to slow as her battered body begins the final stages of failure. You knew it was a lost cause before you even hit the foothills of the mountains, but watching her life ebb away before your eyes tears at your heart nonetheless.

Her poor body shakes as the cold winds wrap around the wagon, the constant rocking of the hard wooden platform that she lays upon offering her little relief as you try desperately to make her as comfortable as possible. You take her hand into yours, squeezing it tightly, and sing softly to her as she creeps closer to permanent relief. The fear of death that shadows her tired eyes begins to waver as she focuses on the comforting melody of your voice, a lullaby that tenderly floats into the air.

And then suddenly, Jenny’s sweet face goes slack and her torment has ended. It takes you but a moment of staring at her young freckled face to wrap your mind around the reality of it before you and Abigail share a tearful look. Not a word is spoken between the two of you. You simply nod in acknowledgement to your friend as you look down at Jenny again. You are not looking forward to the painful task of telling Lenny. You set your lips to Jenny’s cold forehead before your hand ghosts over her face, closing her eyes.

With a deep sigh, you now turn your full attention to Davey. You don’t know the Callender brothers too well. They always seemed too rowdy for your taste. But Arthur likes them well enough, taking a drink with them on occasion.

But Jenny is a different story. She came into the gang just after you did. Being younger than you, she tended to stay more with Tilly and Mary Beth. She was a bit of a tom-boy, as they say, but sharp as a tack and sweet as honey. And particularly sweet on one Mr. Lenny Summers. He loved reading and discussing books with her. And that common interest created a beautiful little budding romance between the youngsters. She already knew how to read, but Lenny was helping Jenny develop her skills at it. You’d often catch them sitting at the fires together, coyishly touching shoulders and exchanging sweet blushing glances.

And poor Sean. Your mind quickly skips to him as you readjust yourself to check Davey’s bandages. Whoever caught Sean may put a bullet in him just to stop his mouth running. Karen acts like his absence doesn’t affect her so deeply, as if they weren’t so close. But you’ve heard her crying softly at night and noticed his shirt tucked into her bedroll.

As the caravan of lost souls trudges ever onward, the sun begins its descent for the day and Arthur rides out ahead to try to find shelter from the merciless storm. You have your hands full caring for Davey, but you can’t help but worry for his safety, as well.

Arthur is strong and as resilient as ever. And Dutch is leaning on him heavily to get the gang out of this mess that he’s made. Dutch wears Arthur like a shield, using him to take the brunt of the poundings, sending him off to do dangerous work. But as much as you hate to admit it, Arthur is the gang’s best hope at surviving this latest miscalculation. You have hardly even seen him since the gang rolled out of the valley let alone spoken to him. You want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him to make sure he is okay, to give him the support he needs, and to have him comfort you in return. But that is not possible at the moment, and that lack of connection with your love leaves you feeling empty and hopeless.

Tucked away in the wagon between the injured, you cannot even see the outside world, let alone Arthur. You have no idea where he even is. You can only hear the world around you, as the frigid wind howls next to your ear, causing the canvas over top to shake and snap loudly. Abigail reaches up to light the rusty lantern that sways from the roof of the wagon as the darkness of the end of the day settles upon you all. The flame is small and fragile within the glass globe, struggling to keep itself going, just like the hope in your heart.

Reverend Swanson walks along the side of the lead wagon and up towards the front of it where Dutch and Hosea sit perched on the bench, driving the poor horses onward in the unrelenting weather.

“We need to stop soon,” Reverend hollers up to them, his voice getting muffled in the wind. “Jenny’s dead. And Abigail says Davey’s not doing too well either. We’ll need to find a place, “ he adds with a knowing look.

“We’ll all be dead soon if we don’t get out of this storm,” grumbles Hosea. The old man tucks his chin into the collar of his coat, wrapping his arms around his thin frame even tighter to try to stay warm.

Dutch nods in an attempt at consolation. “It’ll be alright,” he affirms. “We’ll find shelter soon. Arthur is out there looking for a place.”

And just like that, as if called out of the darkness, a shadowy form emerges from the swirling snow. Arthur’s unmistakable blue coat and trusty horse come into view, a faint yellow glow from his lantern acting like a beacon.

“I found a place,” the seasoned outlaw shouts over the howling wind. “Not too far up ahead.” Arthur’s face twists up against the frigid air, his mouth turning down into a frustrated and annoyed scowl, his eyes just as icy and angry as the weather.

Arthur turns Buck around to head back the way they came, and eventually leads the gang to settle in an abandoned mining town known as Colter.

*This fantastic images comes from @rosesrdr2photography

_________________________________________

It is early evening by the time the gang arrives at the small collection of broken-down buildings known as Colter. The sun’s absence has plunged the world into darkness, making it exponentially colder. Hosea climbs down from the wagon with stiff joints and hurries over as fast as the deep snow allows his old knees to move to inspect the nearest building that looks inhabitable. He heaves his shoulder into the door, thrusting his lantern inward to cast its fragile illumination upon the interior. The room is bleak and dreary, covered in cobwebs and dust from a time long forgotten by the last inhabitants. But, at least it has walls and a solid roof. And more importantly, it is empty.

“Bring him in here!” Hosea calls out over his shoulder into the dark. Arthur and Bill carry Davey inside on a make-shift gurney with you and Abigail following closely behind. The rest of the group falls in as well, desperate to get out of the wagons and out of the elements.

Your red-stained fingers hover over Davey’s bandages again, noting with disappointment at how much more blood has been lost since you last checked. Out of the corner of your eyes, you catch Abigail fidgeting above his chest and mouth, looking for signs of life.

“Davey’s dead”, she announces with a matter of fact tone laced with disappointment.

Abigail’s statement halts you in your tracks. Your eyes dart between Abigail’s wind-chapped face to Davey’s lifeless one, before your gaze falters back to the wound that your hands are currently buried in, the blood already coagulating and becoming cold. A defeated sigh drags your shoulders down even further, and with a heavy heart at having lost another, you slowly retract your hands, fixing the blanket around Davey’s body like a death shroud.

The room sits heavy with sorrow. The expressions on everyone’s faces are a mixture of both sadness and exhaustion and one that is collectively shared by the entire group.

To his credit, Dutch senses the need of his people, the need to be cared for and consoled. You all need that guiding light to focus on if you are to make it out of this hell alive. Dutch steps into the middle of the small gathering, and proceeds to address the gang with a speech, trying to rally you all together as morale is at an all-time low. Like the father figure that you all so desperately need and share, his deep voice carries softly, yet firmly in the dead air. It is this that is Dutch’s greatest gift: the gift of charisma.

He ends his impassioned speech with “Get yourselves warm. Stay strong. Stay with me.” And then Dutch immediately shifts into survival mode, as there is no time for sadness. He needs to get you all refocused on the hardship that still lies ahead.

“We’ll get some supplies. Mr. Pearson, Ms. Grimshaw, I need you to turn this place into a camp.” Both loyal gang members nod in unison at their understood roles. ”Arthur, come with me. Let’s head out and see what we can find.”

“In this?” Arthur tosses his arm towards the storm that rages all around you, threatening to snow you all in and suffocate you.

“Yes,” Dutch declares emphatically. “We should go now before it gets worse out there and then we can’t get out at all. Come on.” Dutch huffs and turns to head back out into the cold.

You silently watch as Arthur just rolls his eyes in annoyance before he obediently follows Dutch outside. A cold and unsettled feeling washes over you as Arthur shuffles out the door behind his mentor. You are still trying to piece together what happened back in Blackwater, but the whispers indicate that it was not good at all. The fact that your friends’ blood covers your hands and clothing is a bad enough indication.

But you overheard Javier talking about how Dutch shot an innocent woman. Your mind scrambled upon hearing that. While you are well aware of how dangerous Dutch Van der Linde can be, you just couldn’t believe that he would kill an innocent bystander for no reason.

Once outside, Arthur fixes his coat collar high around his cheeks to block the whipping winds. And finally having a moment alone with Dutch, he takes the opportunity to ask what has been plaguing his mind since you all left.

“What happened back there on that boat?” Arthur’s skeptical blue eyes hold Dutch’s dark ones, waiting for an explanation that he feels he’s owed.

“We missed you, Arthur. That’s what happened.” Dutch’s curt answer doesn’t provide any sort of information other than deflection with a slight hint of blame. “Now come on. We got to see if we can come across Micah or John. They’re supposed to be out there lookin’ around.”

He quickly stalks away to head towards the horses again, leaving Arthur standing disgruntled in the snow before he can even counter his point. Dutch throws his leg over the Count’s saddle, waiting impatiently for Arthur and Buck to pull up next him and then they head out into the frigid weather once more.

He should probably be sitting inside, trying to get warm, but the swell of anger and annoyance is more than enough to keep Arthur warm at the moment. None of this would be happening if Dutch and Micah had listened to him. But no. And now, friends are dead and missing, the law and Pinkertons are hot on your heels, and the gang is chased up into the middle of nowhere, freezing and starving.

The two men are not out too long before Micah meets them along the path. His body is covered in snow, Baylock’s mane crusted with ice. “I found a homestead with a fire lit a little ways back,” he informs the two riders. “Might be able to get some resources there.”

“Alright good, let’s take a look,” agrees Dutch. And the three of them plod along in the snow, back down to where Micah found the small ranch.

Upon reaching the top of the hill, Micah points down towards the property he found. There is a main house with some smaller buildings scattered about. And there is, indeed, a fire illuminating out into the blue of the night. They make their way down to the house, maneuvering around fence posts and small paddocks. They dismount and stash the horses at the edge of the property to make their way on foot, careful not to be noticed

“Alright,” whispers Dutch, “You two stay hidden out of sight. I’ll knock on the door and see what we’re dealing with. We may get farther with one freezing man out in the cold than three of us wielding guns.”

Arthur and Micah quietly nod in unison, a rare instance of camaraderie, and each find hiding spots crouching in the snow behind a chicken coop and a wagon, diligently watching Dutch as he approaches the dwelling and knocks on the door.

He is greeted by a man who is naturally uneasy at seeing someone arrive at his door at this hour and in these weather conditions. Dutch puts on his best friendly face at the sight of the skeptically scowling host.

“Hello, friend!” Dutch smiles brightly with that trademark silver tongue and charm. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but you see, my people and I got lost in this storm.” He pointedly waves his arm behind him towards the swirling snow. “And we’re hoping you might be able to help us out a little.”

From where they are sitting in the ice-crusted snow, Arthur and Micah watch the exchange between Dutch and the man, but suddenly, something catches Micah’s attention, causing him to abruptly sit up.

“Arthur!” he hisses, causing Arthur’s cautious eyes to leave Dutch’s form and dart in his direction. “There’s a body in this wagon!” Micah flips over the canvas that is covering the wooden structure he is hiding behind to reveal a corpse, dead at least a day with a bullet hole in his chest. “Somethin’ ain’t right here!”

And before he knows what’s happening, Arthur’s ears are assaulted by the loud cracks of gunfire. The air explodes into gunshots and shouting from all directions of the property. Quickly looking to cover Dutch, Arthur sees the man that greeted Dutch is dead in front of him with two more coming out of the house. Dutch backpedals, but makes quick work of them, while more men swarm the house from all around.

Now, say what you will about Micah Bell, but he is quite skilled with a gun, like it is an extension of himself. And being paired up with Arthur, the two easily take care of the collection of men that pour from the house and surrounding areas. Bullets mingled with wooden splinters from ill-aimed shots graze Arthur’s head, but he is a man ruled by instinct and reflexes, and the pounding of his heart gets pushed to the far reaches of his brain. Bodies quickly begin to fall, deep crimson blood staining the pristine white of the powdery snow.

The commotion settles almost as quickly as it began, calming once more to a deafening silence before Arthur and Micah are able to safely approach the house to join Dutch on the small porch. Dutch looms over one of the men that lays in a heap in the doorway, nudging him with his black boot.

“O’Driscolls” Dutch spits the name with disdain, his breath frosting like a halo above his head in the cold. “What the hell are they doing up here so far North?” He looks about again as if to find the answer in the room inside the house. “Well, whatever it is, nevermind right now. Check the place over, we got people waiting for us,” he nods in determination. “Grab whatever you can that would be useful, food, blankets, medicine.”

As the three men split up to comb the property, Arthur heads into the barn to see what he can find there. The scent of old, mildewing hay and unmucked stalls cascades into his nostrils as he crosses the threshold of the barn. His blue eyes scan the sparse area which is already looking thread-bare. A huff of disappointment escapes his chapped lips as he meanders listlessly, picking up random items such as a few oatcakes for his horse and a rope, but nothing too significant.

A shadow catches Arthur’s eye, his head snapping to attention in one of the stalls. Before he can make heads or tails of things, a body darts out of the shadows and jumps him from behind. The person hurls their meager body into Arthur’s much larger one, throwing their arms around him in a feeble attempt to knock him to the ground. Apparently another O’Driscoll hiding in the shadows.

However, the idiot has no idea who he is dealing with and Arthur quickly flips the man over his shoulder as if he were tossing nothing more than a bag of feed. The wind is knocked out of the man’s lungs as he slams flat onto his back, blinking the stars out of his eyes as Arthur is quick to grab ahold of his jacket and begins to land blow after blow to the intruder’s face. Arthur’s fists angrily pummel into skin and teeth, as the sound of bone crunching and blood spurting from a busted lip and nose quickly escalates to mix with pathetic whimpers and sings through the brisk air.

The commotion draws Dutch’s attention from where he is combing the fallen bodies for clues as to why the rival gang is here on this property. From outside he hurries over to the barn to make sure that Arthur is not in need of assistance. But Dutch stops short at the sight, mildly amused to see his right-hand man not only just fine, but has caught one of the trespassers.

The younger outlaw pauses, eyes intensely burning into the man beneath with his arm pulled back, threatening to deliver another blow.

“What are you all doin’ here?” Arthur shouts angrily.

The O’Driscoll cowers in fear as Arthur looms over him. “N..Nothin’! I swear!”

A sickening sound of blood squelching fills the air again with another punch to the teeth.

“Now, I sure don’t believe that.” A wickedly sadistic grin crawls across Arthur’s face, his breath circling in the air like that of a fire breathing dragon.

“I ain’t gonna ask again, what are you all doing out here?!” Arthur shouts, spittle flying into the man’s face.

“It’s…It’s a train. A train is coming through. Colm has us getting ready for it.”

A heartless chuckle rumbles from Dutch’s chest from where he stands in the doorway watching the interrogation. “Well, alright, then.” He turns to head back to the house with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Arthur, I'll trust you to take care of this.”

Arthur barely has time to process this information before he hears screaming coming from the main house. With his captor distracted, the O’Driscoll wrenches himself free from Arthur’s gloved hands and tries to flee, sprinting out from under Arthur’s grasp.

Tripping on his own two feet, the O’Driscoll tries to make a break for it across the yard. But he only gets so far before Arthur smoothly pulls his gun from his holster and calmly puts a bullet in the man’s back, landing him facedown in the snow. With that matter taken care of without so much as an afterthought, Arthur turns his full attention towards the continued ruckus coming from the house.

“What the hell is it now?” he mutters under his breath, and quickly stalks over to see what the next issue is that he has to deal with.

Taking the porch steps two at a time, Arthur barrels into the house to see Micah chasing a frazzled woman around a table as she is screaming in terror, hurling objects at him in self defense. Micah’s hands are held up, trying to placate the woman, but one could tell that he’d pounce on her the second he got close enough. Whether he was trying to calm her, or torment her even more, who knows, but either way, Arthur is infuriated at the sight. Arthur quickly rushes forward, shoving Micah out of his way, and putting himself between the two.

The poor woman is almost feral at this point, eyes wild, her hands desperately clutching any object she can get her hands on to try to defend herself.

“It’s alright, miss, we ain’t gonna hurt ya,” Arthur tells her, his voice low and soft, using the same tone he uses with Buck when he gets spooked.

The woman slowly ceases her screaming, her chest heaving in exhaustion as she tries to catch her breath, panicked eyes darting all around the room. Dutch comes up behind Arthur, also trying to calm the poor woman who is shaking like a leaf.

But the calm moment is all too brief as a fire quickly starts to spread across the floor from a lantern that was knocked over in the uproar.

“Come on, we gotta get outta here,” mutters Dutch. “Time to go.”

Dutch is quick to grab a large blanket from the living room, wrapping it around the small woman before directing her out of the house. Orange and red flames quickly crawl up the side of the walls of the dwelling like a spider as the four of them duck out of the house. Arthur tucks the woman against him to protect her from the elements, escorting her outside as the house begins to catch fire, engulfed and smoldering behind her.

“We ain’t good men,” he informs her, “but we’re better than those others, I guarantee.”

The poor thing quietly submits as Arthur carefully lifts her small frame up onto Buck’s saddle before climbing up himself and settling in front of her.

“They….they killed my husband,” she whimpers.

“You’ll be safe with us, miss,” assures Dutch as they begin to move away from the house. “What’s your name?”

“Sadie. Sadie Adler,” she mumbles as she turns her chin over her shoulder to watch her home and everything she loved so dearly burn to the ground.

*This fantastic images comes from @rosesrdr2photography

------------------------------------------

A/N: I decided to break this section into multiple chapters like I did with "Feelings Revealed." This is the setup chapter, more drama (and love) to come!

Tag List: @rivetingrosie4 @bimbo-dollz @pine4pple-b0i @redwritr @kuri-chans-blog @queer-sadie-adler @joelmillerswifey @gimmethosedaddymilkers @pcotarelo @delilah-grimes @maemortem @wistfulwisteriawitch @lilacxxdreams @mentallyillfrogs @absolutegeek @spurz @sophiaj650 @uniqueclodzinevoid @lookingformaurice @pawoui @randomidk-123 @yyiikes @eddiemetalheadmunson @twola @kmartkiddieisle @red-dead-simp @regwishesshehadmagic @rhehr241 @earwen-x @akariver75 @djennty @nervousmumbling @xliliths @unbotheredbeeeee @onnetonprinsessa @kittiowolf210 @ezrynn @suhiss @arthurmargon @codnerd1999 @queer-sadie-adler @alice-vanderlinde @sweetandstoned21 @j4llyf7sh @spooky631 @m0r4rx @ilovrxats @i-69-urmom @ddbluesie @ivuravix @nervousmumbling @sickvictorianangel @tirededuxhours @ezzythereal1 @chloepluto1306 @ivys-valentine @spiritcatcherxo @lea-khena @brccklynbaby1 @foundynnel @readingcoco @carmelamontezlikr @ultraporcelainpig @sofiaa-xcx @namesaretomainstream @miphy @cookiesandcreaminthetardis @loveheartabby @daisybvck @julialoopeezz @a-court-of-valkyries

*I tagged people who expressed interest in the continued story. If you’d like to be added or removed, please let me know. There are a few that would not let me link, so I apologize if this doesn’t ping some people.

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 fanfic

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things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 5 months

Note

Hey, if you're taking requests than can I suggest one where Adam starts to believe that Lucifer is only with him because he's trying to get all 3 of the Eden gang? And then Adam just doesn't want to be used like that and maybe he could confront him? Idk

Oooou angst my old friend 😈

Adam had heard people make that stupid joke before. Hell, even people in heaven poked fun at him about it.

But to hear Lucifer actually joke about going 3 for 3 with all of the first humans? It hurt. Especially since they just started dating.

Was the devil just playing the long game until he could get into Adam's pants? Well fuck him! ..... Okay poor choice of words.

Adam stormed into Lucifer's room, slamming the door into the wall. "You've got some fucking nerve!"

Lucifer looked at him surprised. He was the one that had nerve? "Oh?"

"You think it's fucking funny making that joke!? Well guess what asshole, it's not funny to me! If the only reason you are with me is to collect the whole set, then you can just fuck right off!"

"What?" Lucifer was at a loss.

"That fucking 3 for 3 joke about you fucking Lilith, Eve, and then me!"

Oooooh. "Adam, it's nothing more than a joke."

"It's not a fucking joke to me! I actually like you and if all you're interested in is fucking me to check off your list, well you can just go fuck yourself!" Adam yelled he was so mad about this his heart was racing.

"Okay, you're right. Your feelings are not a joke. I'm not with you for that, Adam, you're not a bucket list item." Lucifer slowly approached him. "Angel shouldn't have said that."

"You shouldn't have laughed."

"Also correct." When Lucifer reached Adam he smoothed his hands down the sinners arms. "I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. You want to go out somewhere? Anywhere you want."

"Anywhere?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let's go." Adam took Lucifer by the hand as they went out to dinner.

That joke cost him a very expensive couple plates of ribs.

#adamsapple #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

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batim-bowtie · 18 days

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WELCOME TO THE BATIM BOWTIE AU! COMPLETE AU DESIGN LINEUP, CLOSE-UPS, OPEN Q&A, + AU INFO MASTERPOST

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊ Hello Tumblr! Welcome to BOWTIE, an in-production and soon-to-be comic series based off of the Bendyverse. This is a swap AU, and you can find ALL details, comic progress updates, and artwork here on this blog!

Yes, this is a repost to this new account as the other one has been deleted. I accidentally made the other one a sideblog, so it couldn't receive asks. ._.

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊ Above is the complete main toon cast design lineup so far!

CLOSEUPS + AU INFO below the cut!

There are other designs, such as Mama Pluto and Mama Venus, who will be put into separate posts of their own as I want to lay out the rules of the Overworld, Underworld, and Heaven in those posts. This is simply an introduction post, so we will keep things simple!

AU INFORMATION.

The BOWTIE au centers Diana, Doris and Alex as they make their way through the Great Depression and onward to the mid 1940's. This AU is consistent with the Bendy Crack-Up Comics Collection, and the characters are based on the Crack Up Comics renditions of Bendy, Boris, Alice, and so forth.

It's 1944, and Manhattan is bustling with activity. In an ever-recovering economy past the Great Depression, DIANA is a young imp cast out of Hell in her 500s (or simply, early 20s) blessed with the gift of misfortune. After finally stabilizing and yearning for a traditional American white-picket-fence lifestyle, she often associates with DORIS, a wolf twice her size who knows her like no other. Troubled with her identity and struggling to move on from her past, Doris welcomes Diana into her abode, where she finds herself adjusting to much more than a new house—but a home. Becoming more fearful as time passes and her bad luck wears onto the people she cares about, it seems that the local townsfolk - and a certain someone - have started to develop plans to sabotage Diana's future and send her back to Hell. Quickly evolving from a small get-away scheme to send Diana back to her realm, unfair defaults about the world become unearthed; soon to stop not only affecting Diana, but the whole cast as we know them.

Most if not all AU events occur from 1944 and onward, however there are important character events that have occurred before 1930 that will be mentioned in future posts, either through comics or character backstories.

This AU has shipping involved, so here are the pre-established relationships and dynamics between characters.

Doris and Diana were "close friends" from 1930 until 1944, where they eventually settled down, established a relationship and moved in together. This relationship is important to the story, so if you are uncomfortable or view the original Boris and Bendy as siblings you might be unpleased with this. Borendy and Dorendy (Diana/Doris) are common themes in this blog, and you don't have to like it to be respectful of it!

Charlene and Barlene are married and have been for a long time. Marriage between same-sex couples is indeed frowned upon in the Overworld so they eloped, and consequently rarely speak about this marriage to anyone besides other Butcher Gang members and the Toon Trio.

Mama Pluto (Devil) and Mama Venus (God) were once lovers.

Alex and Cody are in a situationship - Alex is constantly busy on tours in 1944, making promises to Cody to come to his next show and hopefully they will have enough time after to spend time together. Cody never misses a show of his, and is slowly becoming exhausted by this.

The BOWTIE comic will total around 45 chapters, each with estimated 20-29 pages. The comic will be cross posted on Webtoon ideally. This is subject to change as the comic is in pre-production and in the writing stage of each chapter. Be patient, as one person is creating this! However, there will be daily art and updates.

Merry (AU author) is disabled and struggles with a condition that causes occasional blindness and limb numbness, especially to the hands. During inflammation periods, the comic may be delayed due to physical limitations. After the first few chapters are released, recruitment for additional help MAY begin so delays can be avoided, and comics can be produced faster. A Google form application will be released when ready.

Feel free to draw any of the designs or do pretty much anything with them (with credit) as long as it's not questionable obviously. You can ask about what the limits are with these AU characters if you'd like!

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ANYTHING TO ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, OR ASK IN GENERAL! Lore-based questions, general asks, etc. are permitted - so go wild!

Reblogs are appreciated, as this tumblr blog is new! Thank you so much if you read this far!

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mistypsych · 1 year

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ANATOMY OF A CRIMINAL - CHAPTER 7

/ yoongi / suga / agust d

summary: as a doctor you never expected to be dragged into “the criminal life”, nothing and no one seems to be true anymore, your whole world turns upside down after you save him.

pairings: yoongi mob boss x f.reader x non idol bts members.

warnings: smut, guns, knives, stabbings, blood, gore, murders, drugs, criminals, gang life, medical emergency, illness, abuse, swearing, angst, dubcon, gang violence, corruption, manipulation, lies, cheating - 18+ minors dni.

Note: Hi! This is an attempt of writing a fanfic long after not writing anything at all. Please keep in mind English is no longer my first language and it might be a bit rusty at times. Comments and thoughts are well appreciated. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, state your thoughts for me to post up and have me add you to the tag list!

You blinked very fast. Your thoughts were all over the place. Keeping your gaze on the KCIA badge you took a deep breath and mumbled “Yea… it does look like we need to talk…” trying to gather yourself, you turned to face the kind eyed man.

This was the moment he should start explaining, because you sure as hell had no idea what the actual fuck was going on.

He let out a long, quiet sigh, keeping his eyes on the road. “So… I am well aware you normally would not have anything to do with a gang, if it wasn’t for your reckless friend…” he started. “But… our target isn’t really the whole group. I mean yea, they are dangerous, cause some havoc but… they are also a well know danger… they keep the product they sell clean and such… yes it is bad, but how to say it? A evil you know is better than anything unknown and out of control right?”.

You tried to follow his logic, one questing popping into your head - then why was he even there? As if reading your mind he explained “We are fishing for the police… we have known the department has gotten very dirty in the recent years… and we are collecting enough evidence to be sure to take that scum down…” he turned his eyes to the road again waiting for you to slowly take in the information he has dropped on you.

You shake your head a bit and then look up as if asking the universe why the fuck this is all happening. “So… let me guess… my fiancé happens to be on the list…”. Jimin sighed and slowly nodded his head, clicking his tongue he looked at you for a second. “Listen… I know this is all a lot to take in… especially that your fiancé is an absolute dick… but… I assume you’d have nothing against putting his ass behind bars right?”.

You look at the man sitting next to you and try to think of an answer. In all honesty you would gladly have Hobi suffer since you found out not only is he dirty but also a cheater. The fact you slept with Agust-D did not seem like proper justice for the fact that asshole ruined all those years of your life. But having him locked up seemed like some kind of karma.

“Yea… I would not mind that at all…” you paused for a while and then asked “So… let me take a guess. You would love to have a spy in me huh?”. Jimin cleared his throat quietly, clearly not expecting you to be this blunt. “I won’t lie… it would probably make things easier… I believe you could fish out some important intel for us…”

Without much hesitation you say “Ok. Count me in then, as long as me and my friend Jungkook are not dragged into whatever consequences this shitshow brings…” the hazy eyed man slightly looks at you and nods “Of course… you will be my informant so I will make sure your demands are met…” you roll your eyes a bit not enjoying the fact once again you have been put in a peculiar spot.

You asked to be dropped off a couple of blocks before your building. Your neighborhood was safe enough for you to walk back and you sure as hell would not wan’t Hoseok seeing you get dropped off by Jimin.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

You will have to lie, pretend and play games with Hobi. It was not something you ever would see yourself doing but given the circumstances, you did not have many options in order to receive some sort of justice for yourself. The worst part being that you had to pretend you have no idea about what he did and that you are still oh so blindly in love with him, when in reality all you wanted is to beat him into a pulp for wasting all those important years of your life.

Walking in slowly into your apartment you gently closed the doors hoping that if your fiancé was there you would not wake him up. Looking around you saw his jacket and sighed. Luck was not on your side. It seemed that you were gonna have to deal with his company sooner then later.

You made your way passed the opened bedroom doors, making sure to be quiet and to get you the chance to sleep on the couch, but no, you had to be shit outta luck. “Y/N? Hun? That you?” you swore in your head and barely controlled your impulse to punch the wall. Silently clearing your throat you said “Yea… it’s me… I went out with Kookie and some other coworkers… since you said you would be home late again…” you lied threw your teeth.

A sound of the bed covers rustling hit your ears. You knew he was getting up, so you put your best pretend happy tipsy face on. Right then you saw him stand in the door and lean on the frame with a slightly sleepy face. He smiled at you and came up taking your hand in his. “Mmm… I’m sorry I am having to work so much lately babe…” you nodded your head afraid that if you spoke that moment he would pick up your pure rage.

After a second you gathered yourself “It’s fine, we both have jobs that can occupy us at times…” wrapping his arms around you he kissed your shoulder “What did I do to deserve such a woman?” you forced a giggle. “Can I make it up to you Y/N? Hmmm?” he hummed in a low voice pulling at your waistband. You laughed lightly and gave him a peck in the nose saying “we can discuss that after I take a shower and you make breakfast.”

He mumbled slightly disappointed but made his way to the kitchen, you on the other hand got into the bathroom. You stood there looking at your reflection in the big mirror questioning all your life decisions and if you should have ever moved to Korea. You turned on the water for it to warm up. You needed a hot shower to was off all the strain from your muscles.

Suddenly your phone rang causing you to jump up. Looking at the screen you could see a no caller ID show up. Normally you would ignore such a call but something in you gave you a hunch. Picking up the phone you quietly answered. “Hello?” you heard a deep sigh on the other side of the line and then the well know gravely voice “Didn’t take you would be the type to sneak out at dawn?” your heart clenched and then started beating like crazy. You could feel your body getting tense.

“And I wouldn’t think you’d be the type to be bothered by such a thing… I would think you’d appreciate it…” he chuckled, you could almost see him shaking his head in amusement “Nah… I was thinking of round two for breakfast…” you sigh grabbing the tip of your nose. This was all one big mess. “I have a fiancé…” you muttered hoping this would salve it and make him cancel the call, but instead he laughed loudly “Oh… I know you do and I ain’t bothered babe, because I know now when he fucks you, you’ll be thinking of me and all I can do to you”. His words rendered you speechless “Mmm just what I thought. You’ll be coming back for more Y/N and oh I will give it to you…” and at that he ended the call.

Standing there and looking at your cellphone you were trying collect yourself. This fucking cocky bastard was so sure you’d be coming back to him. “You wish… we will see who’s left begging…”

tags: @wobblewobble822 @nansasa @nochook @kootieful @kooslilhoe @yoongisducky @xjiminsthighsx @danielle143 @llallaaa @idkjustlovingbts @darcyw16 @missusally-blog @honsoolgloss @nochuel @kaitieskidmore1 @starrlo0ver @geek-lara-nerd @jwnghyuns @xyahrinx @acquiescence804

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toons-and-doom · 2 months

Text

Dandy’s DreamWorld

I came up with this like last night when I was very tired so everything is subject to change or not make sense

So when you sleep, you enter this dream realm where all your woes and worries can disappear for awhile! The whole realm is maintained by the postive emotions of the residents, so the general goal is to stamp out nightmares and negative emotions for the time being until they wake up!

It’s controlled by four (5?) main entities who sorta spawned into existence at the same time(sprout MAY be added later when he comes out-).

Dandy, the leader, some sort of sun themeing; the leader of the gang! He’s sorta nightmare control. He either tries to make nightmares less scary by reminding folks of things or wakes them up and ejects them from the dream realm.

Astro is the most powerful, considering he has influence of the dream worlds the vistors inhabit for their brief stays. He shapes the realms to make them as comfortable as they can be.

Shelly manages memories! She kinda happens in the background organizes your memories for the next day! She can suppress a memory if it’s bothering you in the dream world. She also extracts the happiness of the memories to feed the dream world (don’t worry, you don’t lose the memories or the joy they bring you)

Vee is sorta the watcher. Observes the realm and notifies the others of any problems! I’d imagine she literally has eyes everywhere.

Pebbles makes sure dreamers don’t accidentally interact in dreams, as this often causes confusion- not what they’re looking for!

Things were good for awhile! But uh, dandy got curious about the nature of nightmares, and uh, he learned nightmares are produced by this substance called nightmares fuel.

He decides to collect it from realms which means letting nightmares fester, brining negative emotions to the realm. Dandy keeps all the nightmare fuel in a giant glass reserve, he experiments with it sometimes. This causes a overal decrease in stability of the dream world, and eventually the others find out and confront dandy.

This leads to a massive argument! And uh oh! The reserve accidentally gets broken and nightmare fuel floods the entire dream realm!

In the process, dandy, Vee, Shelly, and pebble kiiiiinnnddddaaaa get fucked up and corrupted by the substance. Astro fortunately is able to resist his corruption, and in a panic, seals them off into the deepest part of the dream realm, far under everything else.

Then it occurs him now his job is now a lot harder as the sole guardian of the dream realm now.He isn’t sure how to deal with the nightmare fuel which has spread across the realm, infecting the realms and HEAVILY tipping the overal happiness in the realm.

Not wanting the realm to fall apart + concerned with how such an influx of nightmare fuel will affect someone when they wake up. Astro does the VERY logical thing (sarcastic. But In his defense tho he just lost his friend and stressed out) and puts the dream realm on lockdown. Nothing can get in, but nobody can get out. This means the folks who were dreaming at the time cannot wake up (aka, our dear toons)

Astro proceeds to surpress the nightmare fuel inside the realms. To prevent homesickness and prevent further negative emotions he surpresses the memories the toons have of the real world. The toons just sorta think this is how life has always been. Their days are blissful at least.

Boom some time passes, Astro is trying and failing to get everything together, and the toons are blissfully unaware of their situation. The condition of the dream realm slowly crumbles. So does Astro as the stress and nightmare fuel he was exposed to begin to get to him.

…

Things begin to slip through, memories, horrors. . . The seals are beginning to break.

Suddenly the toons are remembering things and realizing their realms aren’t real. Plus, these nightmarish versions of themselves are beginning to hunt them.

Basically the toons main goals are

- get out of their respective realms

- Avoid these nightmare (‘twisted’ versions of themselves)

- Find fellow dreamers

- Find out WHY they can’t wake you up

- GTFO.

- (Later they decide to try and restore the dream realm)

~~~~~

Other notes I wasn’t sure how to explain

- The twisted are those corrupted/created by nightmare fuel. Its defeat able but it requires one to face their fears. The nightmares feast on fear.

- ^ the twisted versions of the toons are built of their forgotten memories and fears. They want to trap their ‘copies’ and feed of their fear forever! (I’d imagine each is based on a phobia or a fear.)

- The ‘realms’ toons inhabit are separate from one another. Their only exists are these doors which appear in random locations.

- ^ each realm is inspired by liminal space!

- All the toons sorta have a pastel pj theme going on- but I’d imagine their colors become more saturated once they realize they’re dreaming.

- Astro is barely holding it together man his ass is tweaking 💔

If you have questions I love to yap so feel free

Sorry if it doesn’t make sense-

#dandy’s world #dandys world #dandy’s dreamworld

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rzyraffek · 2 years

Text

Slashers with s/o that is spooked by loud noises/sudden movements

Jason Voorhees

aww babi pls dont be spooked! *worried* he will protect!!

He will try his best!! his rather calm and notvery chaotic so he wont cause any problems!!!

But if you are one of the campers and one of them is clearly tiggering you/making you uncomfy he will make sure this person is first to go bai bai B)

Our boi is in the nonverbal gang so you guys are a match ig

Also Jason is probably spooked of fireworks so you both can cuddle in bed while the loud spook is happening

Micheal Myers

Just like Jason, he is nonverbal, and he rather act slowly(exept the whole killing part yknow)

He will kinda understand? Like he spent 20years in asylum with old white balding man, i think he knows what hes dealing with!

He wont get out of his way for most part, but if somone is bothering you he will whoop them

Corry Cunningham

lad's mad, he might do some scary stuff just for funisies (omg guys hes sooooo sillly :/)

But he also protect! He will beat anyone up, no like litteraly anyone, they dont even need to do anything to you, he will beat them up

He will try to calm you down by huggies or taking you to cool places!

Billy Lenz

well erm this this would be difficult

He is loud, fast and chaotic bean, it would take a while to get used to it

I can imagine yall thinking "b-but he is a stealth killer, he littteraly was sneaky sneaky whole movie exept the telephone part" YALL YALL He obviously would be more loud/chaotic when he accualy doenst have to hide around cuz somone might call police on him :O

Look he will try, mostly by just staying at your sight so he wont accidently spook you by suddenly walking from some weird angle, or he will try to talk quieter, but yknow its difficult :(((

Asa Emory <3

Mans smart, he really gets it okay

Alright he kinda finds it cute how you flinch/wimper BUT LIKE he wont spook you on purpose (most of time, and hes good at pretending that he didn't mean it :[ )

But this enjoyment is reserved to him and only him! Noone dares to spook you on purpose! This kind of people dont even deserve to be in his colection B) (to the box they go)

Also he probably dealt with people with similar problems to yours at past, bug guy has huge collection of people im sure that at least 2of them had something like that

Brahms Heelshire

Another smart one, he gets it! Also he assumes that you have some sort of trauma

Even tho he gets it, its difficult for him to sympathize with you

He is not very empathetic person alr

Also house is very empty and quiet and theres no neighbours so theres noone you can worry about! Exept Brahms himself

I feel like Billy and Brahms have similar problem, but Billy at least is trying? Brahms is such a bebi he wont change (for most part) unless you have like very strong reactions to it :(

The man (guy from the hush)

Hes sneaky so he prolly wont cause any problems

His voice is rather calm too so again, no problems

Also his dream life is to live in middle of nowhere so like?? Again no problem???

He might have slight anger issues and sometimes yell but its like very rare?

Guy is an angel (exept the whole hunting humans for sport thingy <3 )

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tiphyrow · 9 months

Text

Stardew post-marriage headcanons

<<<I'm using this fanart as an excuse to post these on my predominantly art-based tumblr lmao.>>>

!!!BACHELORETTE EDITION!!!

Abigail: very involved, wants to help wherever she can even if she doesn’t really know what she’s doing. Loves the animals, knows them by name. Likes to watch the Junimos work, she thinks they're so cute. She doesn't cook super often (or super well) but when she does it's hearty, filling and often spicy. Kisses your cheeks whenever she can. Takes a while for her to fully realise her freedom and start actually doing the things she wants fully. Will often go out when it rains, still hangs out with the gang, but will sometimes come home with cuts and bruises which is always concerning but you understand. She's getting better with a sword (thanks to some very flirtatious lessons you’ve provided), but is still very slowly collecting scars. Tries not to kill anything, but sometimes it's unavoidable. First few times, she came back from the mines shaking and distant. It doesn’t stop her from going though. She gets used to it like you did, but it's always hard on her. Likes it when you go to the mines together but always prefers going alone, just for the feeling of it. Collects many things and starts her own little collection of artifacts. Will occasionally sell things from the mines, just for pocket money though. Doesn’t really have a job otherwise. Always feels a little guilty about you making all the money for the both of you, but is also very content with the life it provides for her. Her ideal night is both of you under a big blanket and a cheesy horror movie.

Leah: Actually helps on the farm and starts fixing things right away. Forages around the farm and cares for the animals. She paints little murals on all the farm buildings, just for fun. The Junimos weirded her out at first but she comes around pretty fast. Likes cooking for you and always makes heavy and filling food. Lots of mushrooms and stews. Hugs from behind, head on your shoulder. Really appreciates how hard you work and tries her best to keep up with you. Keeps working on her art and will go hours not eating or drinking if she gets too absorbed, only taking a break if you make her. She keeps trying to convince you to let her sculpt you nude, but she's too good and you don't want your nudes displayed in your house lmao. Posts her work on socials and gets a pretty big following. She works her way into a few gallery shows in the city and starts a biannual art showing in town. It gets decently popular (mostly with hipsters) and it's where she sells most of her work. Her art makes more money than she thought it would, but your house still has small piles of canvases and statues that she can’t sell. She REFUSES to let you lend her money for supplies/whatever because she insists on her art becoming self-sufficient (which it eventually does). She will accept gifts though. You can still find her at the river sometimes, just looking at the water. She loves when you join her there, head on her shoulder and hand in hers.

Penny: Best housewife. Cooks and cleans and all that jazz. Gets better at cooking, but still tries her “experiments” that have varying degrees of success. Very homely meals, basic but classic. She likes the bees and always wants to watch while you harvest honey. The Junimos freak her out, she doesn’t like to be near them though she tries to be nice. Doesn’t know how to do much in terms of farm work (will tend to flowers if you have them) so she focuses on the house. Keeps the house spotless but homey, decorates every room unless you’ve already done so, fills the house with flowers. Very quiet and soft spoken. Definitely shy about touching but will hold your hand as often as she can. Struggles to find hobbies (outside of books) once she has more free time and discovers a love of puzzles. Will spend the whole day sitting silent at the table working on a puzzle, just listening to birds. Her favourite ones are classical paintings and those puzzles that are just, like, a bunch of baby shoes lined up. Gets guilty sometimes about how much you work and tries her best to do her part. Still teaches the kids and will bring them on the farm sometimes. Invites Marnie and Jodi for dinner on occasion. Her ideal night is just cuddling on the couch with you and a cup of hot cocoa, watching something like a nature documentary, and just talking about the day.

Maru: Big help with automation, likes building all the machines you need and does it much better than you do. Minmaxer at heart lmao. Immediately goes around the farm fixing anything you’ve messed up, not in a condescending way. She genuinely just wants to help. Doesn’t like when you go in the mines, but understands that it’s become part of your job. Cue the love interest bandaging your wounds scene (she is a nurse). Very interested in the junimos in a “if you find a dead one let me dissect it please” kind of way. Does not know how cook, never learnt, but would like to if you offer to teach. She's a little distant, staying in her work shop for days on end with little food and water. After a while you learn that you need to snap her out of it when she gets like that or she’ll crash. She will take a day to relax but only if you force her to. She appreciates it. She tried working in a lab in the city but never got used to how claustrophobic it is there. She's content just staying at the farm house, doing her work in the workshop (kind of freelance stuff? I think? Idk i'm not an engineer lmao sry, but like also her personal projects). She never fully gets used to being around you everyday. She just looks at you sometimes, a little disbelieving. She sometimes feels like she’s not good enough for you, so you have to remind her. Direct words and soft hugs do the trick.

Haley: Very housewife core. She slips right into the role, trying her best to take care of your home while you work. She’s not the best at it, but she's trying. She cooks well enough and bakes often. Sundays you have dinner with Emily. Decor is her favourite, making the cottage feel like a cottage. Very bright and floral. She thinks the junimos are cute in a freaky sort of way. She mostly stays away from them. She loves the animals, especially the rabbits and cows. Has her own little names for them all. Loves watching you work (she thinks it's hot). Has a blog where she posts her photos and occasionally goes to the city for a photography job, but not very often as it is just a hobby to her. Has a messy scrapbook full of photos of you and the farm. She usually refuses to show it to you, but you’ve persuaded her a couple times. She doesn’t really work, very happy to just decorate the farm and pet the bunnies. Also happy to spend your money, but not often and not without telling you. Wants to be touching you as often as she can. Holding hands, linked arms, hands on your waist, anything. If she can tell you're working too hard, she will physically force you to chill out for a bit, even if it's just five minutes. Will tell you that you look like shit and need to sleep very bluntly and is always right about it. She insists you start taking care of yourself and loves having couples spa days. Unwinding with you after a long day is always something she loves.

Emily: bi wife! bi wife! bi wife! She's very accustomed to taking care of a house and does a great job with yours. Fills it with crystals, protection tokens and the smell of incense. The crystals are partially your fault because you keep giving them to her. Lots of healthy meals, spicy food and kale. Tends to any flower gardens you have and talks to the animals. She mends your clothes and hides embroidered flowers all over them, Not even phased by the junimos, she's definitely seen them before. Delighted that you can understand them. She starts handling any cloth production you might have and uses the fabric to sew clothes to sell online. Has an etsy shop that does quite well and makes sure to advertise the products as homemade from start to finish. Is able to sell the pieces at more affordable prices because of how much money you make. The business is still somewhat profitable, but she really just cares about sharing affordable eco-friendly fashion. It's a little niche style wise but still sells pretty fast. She dances around the house. Whatever she's doing, she does it to a rhythm. Meditates outside frequently and has invited you to join her many times. She takes your hands in hers, tracing the lines of your palms and telling you what they mean. The reading always includes how you two were destined to collide, blessed by fate.

<<<I might do a bachelor version but idk. This took a while. I also have some spicier headcanons that I’m hesitant to share because my irls might see lmao.>>>

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teagballs · 9 months

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hello angel! I was wondering if you could write a Dennis Reynolds x fem!reader one shot where basically, reader is apart of the gang and has been for a while. Surprisingly, one time when Dennis was really angry, she calmed him down. Everyone was shocked the first, but slowly overtime got used to it. Dennis always ignored the warm feeling in his chest when she calmed him, but when he went on a date and got really mad and the girl tried to calm him down, he got even more angry than realised he liked reader??

sorry if it’s confusing 😭🫶

calmed | dennis reynolds x reader

read part 2 here!!

authors note: HEYOOO still alive. thank u sm for this prompt anon! tbh it was a bit of a challenge and i struggled 😭 i always struggle to write for dennis. i hope i did this idea justice cuz i love it. also this is my first iasip fic im publishing yayayay please send more requests for it im sooo deep into it rn. ive got a dee fic in the works rn.

cw: average dennis insanity ofc, swearing, mentions of D.E.N.N.I.S ing girls so yk, mentions of sex.

fic under the cut!

You can recall the first time you ever saw Dennis freak out.

"Idiots! Fucking idiots all of them!" Dennis ranted in his usual methodic tone. The gang wasn't phased, this sort of Dennis rant was something they'd become accustomed to. For you - the latest addition the gang - you had never witnessed one of Dennis' outbursts. It was probably that empathic nature or yours that made you want to act, to console him. And you did. Despite the gang's protests, once they noticed you about to leap into action. They knew it was better to just let Dennis ride out the anger and come down again. But you reached out and touched his arm. The gang collectively held their breath, expecting Dennis to bark out some obscenities in response, but it never came. The feeling of your hand on him made him turn to face you, to look at you.

"Dennis, it's okay, we'll fix this, I promise."

And he calmed. And took a deep breath.

"You know what? You're right. I can fix this." Dennis exhaled. Everyone was shocked,

"What the fuck just happened." Mac said blankly. In the whole time they had known him, Dennis had never been able to be pacified from one of these insane outbursts.

But then it became frequent, because Dennis's raging was frequent. Every time he would begin ranting and raving, you were able to calm him down. It was a voice of serene amidst the chaos. It went on for years like this, as you became part of the gang.

You were usually there hanging out with the gang when things would go wrong, and you'd be able to solve it and calm him down. But today, that wasn't the case. Today, Dennis was on a date.

Dennis was in the process of getting this woman to sleep with him, his stock procedure. But the date had been falling apart. It first started with his suit getting ruined. After dressing himself up in a nice blazer and shirt outfit, it was massacred by spaghetti after Mac spilt it on top of Dennis. Mac was haphazardly carrying it through their shared kitchen and failed to notice him.

"Christ Mac, what the hell are you doing!"

But that was okay. He could manage. He would just have to change. And although this did delay him, he could still D.E.N.N.I.S this girl. He could just say he was late because he was helping some old lady cross the street or looking after a stray kitten.

After successfully making it out of the door, he began to drive to the date. A cute restaurant not too far from his apartment, a picturesque rendezvous. But this was stalled even further by the lack of parking spaces available. Dennis groaned at threw his head back against the car headrest. After circling the block for what felt like the 100th time, Dennis decided to just park further away and book it to the restaurant. He settled for a tucked away corner of the city. Sure, it was far, but hey, at least it was a space.

Finally, after running to the entrance of the restaurant, he saw his date waiting, arms folded.

"Dennis! There you are! What took you so long?Are you.. okay? You look at a little out of sorts." Cadence spoke.

"Sorry. Sorry. Some old hags cat was- was trying to cross the road. I had to run from the other side of town." Dennis panted. He didn't expect the journey to have made him so debilitated. 'Not a perfect excuse, either. I might have messed up the wording..' he thought.

Dennis and his date, Cadence finally entered the restaurant. Dennis regained most of his breath and approached the host.

"Reynolds, table for two." He told the host.

The host scanned their notebook with a pen and searching eyes.

"Sorry, sir, I don't see anything for Reynolds here. Are you sure you booked for this restaurant?" The host replied. They lacked any kind of care for the situation, replying in a detached tone. Most likely years of working customer service had drained them.

"Am I sure I booked for- do you think I'm some kind of bumbling buffoon? Of course I fucking did!" Dennis snarled. Seemingly the frustrations from the evening were overflowing and spilling out.

"What do you take me for some kind of idiot!?" Dennis continued to bawl.

At this point, his date was getting embarrassed of his uncontrolled emotions. Cadence leaned in and touched his forearm. And maybe if it wasn't Dennis Reynolds she had performed this action on, it could have worked and soothed him.

"Dennis its okay, we can go eat somewhere else if you want?"

Immediately Dennis shook her grip off him.

"If I want? Why would I want to eat somewhere else when I made a fucking reservation here. What I want is to eat here!" He snapped, tapping his finger on the hosts notebook.

"Dennis, it's okay. We will do whatever you want." Cadence tried again.

"What I want? What I want is... well, what would you know about fixing shit! You're just..! Well, you're not.. not." Oh. And that's when it hit him.

What Dennis wanted now was not a reservation at this pseudo-rich restaurant. And he knew he certainly didn't want Cadence to try and comfort him. Her words didn't seem to hold any mindfulness or meaning... but yours did. She wasn't you. What he wanted was you. That's all he ever wanted. Everything else he had been doing for was a pathetic search to fill the void. The women he was trying to do, D.E.N.N.I.S, the dates he'd go on, the sex he would have, it all meant nothing.

All he wanted was you. A pure undivided love and something he had never felt before. Dennis had an unprofound realisation that he liked someone. Something most come to grips with in adolescents. But for him, that realisation was something he had never had. It made his heart ache and burn. He needed to act. He needed to call you and spill his heart out. Because no one was like you, and that's all he could think about as he turned on his heel and left the restaurant.

#dennis reynolds x reader #dennis reynolds #iasip x reader #its always sunny in philidelphia x reader #its always sunny x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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steddieasitgoes · 9 months

Text

Pulling triple duty with this one.

Written for @steddiemas Day 29: Holiday Parties and @thefreakandthehair Spicy Six Winter Fanworks Challenge. It's also a holiday sequel to my big bang fic Signed, Sealed Delivered, I'm Yours

My prompt for the Winter Fanworks Challenge was: “If I wear that sweater to work, my boss will kill me."

Tags: Established relationships, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Mailman Steve, Platonic Soulmate Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley, Slice of Life

wc: 4003 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

The Brookbridge Post Office holiday party is a tradition that dates back long before Steve joined the ranks. Every year Warren splurges on renting out a private room at a restaurant or banquet hall before passing all the planning off to his assistant of the month. The only rule, as far as Steve’s aware, is that it has to be tied to some charity organization so that he can write the whole thing off later.

This year is no different as the invitation he finds shoved into his work locker has the Toys for Tots logo front and center. What is different is the attire section that requests all guests break out their best holiday sweaters for the occasion.

Steve’s not sure what constitutes a holiday sweater, but he has a closet full of knit red and green ones that’ll surely work. No sweat off his back. Especially since he’s also done with the toy shopping.

The holiday party isn’t Steve’s favorite way to spend a random Saturday in December, but he always sucks it up and goes. Usually drags Robin along with him so they can stand in the corner getting drunk off free drinks while making fun of Tommy and his gang of mini-me’s as they try to hit on everyone’s plus ones.

It’s not the highlight of their holiday season by any means, but it's a tradition they’ve had going for years now. One he’s not sure he wants to break this year even though he could take Eddie as his romantic plus one. Which is exactly what he tells Robin during their Saturday movie marathon.

They’re sprawled out on the couch, Dumpster between them, with Christmas Vacation playing in the background. They’ve seen it enough times to quote the entire thing from memory so neither minds the interruption. It’s not like they ever actually watch movies on their Saturday movie afternoons anyway.

“Are you kidding me, Steve?” Robin snorts, lobbing a pillow at his head. “Of course, you’re taking Eddie!”

“But we always go together.”

“Only because you never have a date!”

“So, what? You’ve been going all these years as my pity plus one?” Steve asks, nudging her with his knee.

“I’m sorry, did you think I liked hanging out in some stuffy banquet hall listening to Hagan and his little groupies try to hit on me?”

“Don’t forget the year Warren hit on you.” Robin retches, startling Dumpster from her slumber. The cat yawns before slowly climbing off the couch and down the hallway in search of somewhere quieter to sleep.

“Take Eddie. It’ll be fun!”

“Don’t you think two months of dating is too soon to be taking him to work events?”

This time it’s Robin’s bony knee that jabs into the meaty flesh of his thigh.“Jesus, Robs,” he hisses, pulling the hem of his shorts up to check for instant bruising.

“You’re dumber than I thought if you really think you and Eddie have only been dating for two months. What about all those months before, huh?” Steve doesn’t say anything, just rolls his eyes in silent protest. She’s not wrong, but she’s not right either. “Besides, it’s not like he hasn’t already met some of the people from work when he goes to the post office.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess you’re right,” Steve sighs. Still, there’s something lingering in the pit of his stomach. A gnawing, unpleasant weight that he can’t shake. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Tommy’s going to be there, though.”

The same Tommy who has been a Grade-A douchebag since getting removed from Steve’s route and put back on sorter/greeter duty. Steve’s not sure why he doesn’t just quit if he’s so miserable but every day he finds himself on the receiving end of a lackluster death glare.

Also, the same Tommy who gave Eddie the nickname “Mr. Dreamy.” The same Tommy who relentlessly hit on Eddie until he finally got thrown out of his house once and for all.

The same Tommy who has no idea that the guy Steve is seeing, because yes, Tommy knows Steve is seeing someone and teases him about it daily, is said, Mr. Dreamy.

Bringing Eddie into that is a recipe for disaster. One Steve’s not sure he even wants to subject himself to, let alone Eddie.

“On second thought,” Robin says, scrambling to sit up. “Can you take two guests? I will suffer the gross gazes and bad pick-up lines of your male coworkers just so I can see Hagan’s face fall when he realizes you’re dating the guy he was after.”

Steve laughs despite himself, shaking his head. If there’s one thing Robin loves, it’s being a fly on the wall for some good, old-fashioned drama.

📬 🎄 📬

With Robin officially denying his plus-one invitation, Steve sets out to ask Eddie.

It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, he knows this, but something about it also feels like a Big Deal — with a capital B and D. Sure, they’ve branched out from their routine lunch dates — they have a standing Sunday brunch double date with the girls and make a point to go out at least once during the week, plus Steve regularly stops by the shop now, but it's different inviting Eddie to go to a work event with him.

It’s another step in their relationship.

One toward a more permanent future and Steve doesn’t want to fuck it up by scaring Eddie away.

So he spends a week testing the waters. Asks Eddie about his holiday plans over Toasty Treats’ legendary holiday turkey sandwich on Tuesday. Brings up Tommy’s latest fuck up over chili leftovers on Thursday to gage Eddie’s feelings about him (“Jesus H. Christ he really is an idiot,” he laughs, clearly poking fun, but not in the teasing way he does with Steve that always makes his cheeks heat up). During brunch on Sunday, he goads Robin into sharing a fun anecdote from last year's party where one too many cocktails had her and Steve taking over the karaoke machine serenading guests all night with off-key renditions of Christmas carols.

When Steve steals a glance at Eddie he finds him smiling and laughing along with the story.

And just like that the seed is planted.

Steve finally gets the courage to ask the question he’s been dancing around for a week on Tuesday over leftover Chinese takeout.

“Course I’ll be your plus-one, Stevie,” Eddie answers mouthful of Chow-Mien. “I’ll be your plus-one anytime, anywhere, any—”

“Alright, you sap,” Steve laughs, leaning over the table to steal a kiss.

“Does this mean I’m finally going to see the back room where the mail sorter fairies work?”

“Unfortunately not. The party’s at the banquet hall in town.”

“Dammit,” Eddie sighs.

“Oh, and you have to wear a Christmas sweater.”

“Love me a good theme!”

📬 🎄 📬

Turns out, what Steve considers a Christmas sweater is very different from what Eddie considers a Christmas sweater. A fact he’s currently in the midst of learning as he glances around Eddie’s bedroom.

“Stevie, sweetheart, love of my life,” Eddie says, clasping his hands in front of him as he rocks on the balls of his feet. “That is not a Christmas sweater.”

Steve glances down at the knit sweater he’s wearing before fisting the hem and pulling it away from his chest to get a better look. He’s not sure what Eddie’s talking about. It’s totally a Christmas sweater!

“Yeah it is, Eds,” he defends. “It has a reindeer and a tree on it. That’s pretty Christmas.”

Eddie gawks for a moment before scrubbing a hand down his face. Steve knows he only does that when he’s frustrated so he braces for whatever he’s going to say.

“Objectively speaking, yes, it is a Christmas sweater. But it’s also not a Christmas sweater.”

This time it’s Steve who gawks at Eddie. He’s used to Eddie getting worked up over random things, but this is a new one. “Okay Christmas Sweater expert, what is an appropriate Christmas sweater then.”

“I’m glad you asked,” Eddie grins before stalking over to the pile of clothes on his bed. He shuffles through the clothes for a moment, tossing a few shirts to the wayside before he shouts victoriously and turns around clutching a red sweater in his hands. “Now this is a Christmas sweater.”

Steve can’t help the cackle that escapes him the minute his eyes land on the sweater. It’s a red monstrosity with an upside-down snowman sprawled out over the entire thing. A plastic carrot of some sort protrudes off and hanhs low, blending with the tinsel on the hat and two blue ornament balls that also dangle low

“If I wear that sweater to work, my boss will kill me,” Steve says through laughter.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad!”

“Eddie!” Steve squawks, brows knitted together. “It’s literally a dick and balls!”

“Warren is a buzz kill,” Eddie sighs, tossing the sweater aside. Without another word, he reaches for another sweater from the mess on his bed and turns around. “What about this one?”

This one is green with a gingerbread man smiling in the middle. It looks innocent enough except for the fact that the gingerbread has bloodshot eyes and the words “let’s get baked” are stitched in big white letters followed by a marijuana leaf.

“Are you trying to get me fired? Again!”

“Hey,” Eddie scolds playfully. “I didn’t get you fired, I got you demoted. And we agreed it was both our fault. Don’t be putting the blame on me! Besides I’m just sticking with the theme.”

“Baby, the theme is Christmas sweaters not whatever this is,” Steve says waving his hands in the air.

“These are Christmas sweaters.”

“I mean, yeah, they’re technically Christmas sweaters but they’re not appropriate!” Steve laughs. “Where did you even find them?”

“Are you forgetting I work with artists all day? Me and the guys make them.”

“You made these?” Steve asks, snatching the sweater from his hands to get a better look.

Up close it's easier to tell that they’re homemade. The stitches are slightly askew, a missing thread or two here and there. Overall though they’re store-like quality. He didn’t even know Eddie could sew let alone sew an entire inappropriate Christmas sweater. If the tattooing thing doesn’t work out, maybe he and the Hellfire guys should start a clothing line.

“That’s pretty impressive actually.”

“So, does that mean you’ll wear one?”

“To my work party? Absolutely not,” Steve laughs.

“Come on,” Eddie whines. “Nowhere on that invite does it say it has to be appropriate!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s implied! Maybe you can get away with that at the shop's holiday parties, but Brookbridge is full of stuck-up employees. Warren might be sleeping with his assistant but I don’t think he’ll appreciate this,” Steve says, lifting the gingerbread sweater.

“I guess that means I should change then.”

“Wait, you’re wearing one of these right now?” Eddie nods, coaxing another chuckle from Steve. “What does yours look like?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

With eyes shining with mirth and that crooked smile, Steve loves so much, Eddie slowly peels off his leather jacket revealing the Christmas sweater he’s been wearing. It’s hunter-green and looks incredibly soft to the touch. Unfortunately, the words “Well Hung” are stitched in a bright green across the chest. Four baubles are stitched on underneath in various sizes trying their best to make the phrase Christmas-appropriate instead of the innuendo it is.

“Oh my god,” Steve wheezes, doubling over in laughter. It takes him a minute to compose himself and when he does Eddie is standing there beaming with pride. “S’clever and definitely true.” Eddie’s smile grows even wider at that. “But yeah, I think you should change, baby.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Eddie groans.

“Hey, I’m plenty fun,” he says, quickly closing the distance between them. Steve gets his hands on Eddie, wrapping them around his middle and pulling him flush with his chest before searing a kiss to his lips. “But I don’t want to give Tommy any ideas. Don’t think he’d back off if he saw you advertising yourself like this.”

Eddie hums in consideration before reluctantly agreeing. Wiggling out of Steve’s grasp, he yanks the sweater off and tosses it onto the bed with the other rejected sweaters. Then, he sulks over to his closet to search for another sweater. A few minutes pass, nothing but the sounds of plastic hangers clanging against the metal rod filling the room before Eddie turns around with a huff.

“So, turns out I don’t have any appropriate Christmas sweaters.”

Steve laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I have a spare lying around. We’ll just stop by my place before heading over.”

📬 🎄 📬

They get intercepted by Debbie as they’re trying to leave, costing them an extra ten minutes they don’t have to spare. That added with the detour to Steve’s place and the inevitable quickie that follows when they realize Robin isn’t home makes them an hour late to the party.

But it’s not a big deal. Hardly anyone but Betty even realizes they’re late. And the only reason she notices is because she’s smoking outside the door when they get there.

“You clean up nice,” she says like she does every holiday party. Tossing the cigarette to the floor, she snubs it out with the toe of her boots before slowly dragging her eyes up Eddie. “You do too, Eddie, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m Eddie. And thank you, ma’am.”

Betty tsks, waving her hand in the air. “None of this ma’am crap. Just Betty is fine. Steve’s told me lots about you. Have you made a decision on that P.O. Box yet?”

Steve has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from snorting. That day doesn’t leave the best taste in his mouth considering how it ended, but it did start out with a lot of promise.

“Oh, uh, I don’t think it’s for me. S’much easier to have my mail delivered to me. Especially when he’s doing it.”

Betty glances at Steve and gives him another slow once over before winking at the both of them. “M’sure it is,” she laughs. “You boys better get in there. Don’t want to miss the fun.”

📬 🎄 📬

The banquet hall is decorated just as it always is. A giant Christmas tree sits in the middle. A handful of tables surround a small dance floor. There’s a buffet of food on one end, the donation table on the other. A small band is set up on stage, serenading the crowd with a mix of Top 40s and holiday hits. No karaoke machine this year much to Eddie’s chagrin.

After a round of drinks, Steve gets to mingling, introducing Eddie to the handful of coworkers he actually likes. The introductions are brief and his co-workers are quick to share embarrassing stories about Steve’s early days on the job with Eddie who listens and laughs along.

Eventually, Warren finds them, his wife draped lovingly on his arm while his assistant throws daggers his way from the bar. Steve puts on his best smile and expertly navigates the small talk, making a point to compliment Warren’s wife and joke about her being out of his league. Warren’s quick to excuse the both of them after that.

“He gives me the creeps,” Eddie shivers, watching as he guides his wife through the sea of people with a hand on the small of her back all the while making eyes with his assistant across the room.

“He’s definitely a douchebag,” Steve agrees.

He takes a sip of his drink as he scans the room. They’ve been here for almost two hours now and he hasn’t spotted Tommy once. Usually, he’s the center of attention at these things. Dancing up a storm and making it a point to flirt with everyone’s plus ones. Maybe he’s already staked his claim on someone and is getting lucky in the bathroom, Steve thinks before shaking the thought from his head. Who is he kidding, Tommy doesn’t have that kind of luck.

If he’s honest with himself, he’s sort of bummed that Tommy hasn’t made his presence known to him yet. Not because he wants to see him, he’d be happy going the rest of his life without having to share the same room with the guy, but because he wants to show Eddie off. And, okay, maybe he also wants to see Tommy’s face fall like Robin wanted to.

📬 🎄 📬

Steve is swaying with Eddie on the dance floor when the devil that is Tommy shithead Hagan finally materializes. He’s beyond tipsy, uneven on his feet, and freckled face flushed redder than Steve’s ever seen it. His eyes are glossy and his lips are curled in a way that sends alarm bells blaring in Steve’s head.

Trouble is afoot.

Afoot? Christ he’s spending too much time with Eddie.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Harrington.” He practically spits before whipping his head to stare at Eddie. “And oh, look what the postman dragged in. Yesterday’s mail!”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, taking a step toward Tommy. He gives Steve a mischievous look before cocking his head to the side as he gives Tommy his full attention. “Do I know you?”

“Oh don’t play coy in front of your little boy toy, darling,” Tommy slurs, reaching out to rest a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

It takes all the strength in Steve’s body not to reach out and yank his arm away. Thankfully, Eddie does it for him, shrugging the offending hand off with more force than necessary.

“Oh come on,” Tommy scoffs, more of a whine than anything else. “Don’t pretend like we didn’t have the best times when Harrington got himself demoted. What’s it like getting my sloppy seconds, Harrington?”

“Watch it, Tommy,” Steve scolds, taking a step closer to Hagan. He’s not going to make a scene, he’s not. But he’s also not going to stand here and let him talk about Eddie like that.

Eddie scoffs, shaking his head. “If I’m anyone’s sloppy seconds I’m Steve’s. And they are very sloppy if you catch my drift.”

Steve bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He knows he shouldn’t encourage this, but it's hard to be the bigger person when Tommy is standing right there purposely antagonizing him for his own gain. Sue him for wanting to play the game just a little.

“Sorry, Tommy, but Eds here is right,” Steve says, placing a delicate hand on Eddie’s shoulder before squeezing it. “Don’t you remember, I got demoted for hooking up with a “bombshell” in the van? Well, guess what, you’re looking at him.”

“That— that’s not what happened,” Tommy says, directing his words at Steve, not Eddie. “You weren’t with him! Aaron said you were with…”

Steve watches the metaphorical gears turning in Tommy’s head as he trails off. Can tell the moment things start clicking. He really had no clue that the guy Steve had been seeing was Eddie. Steve watches the stunned look spread across his face the same way it spread across his all those months ago when he caught Tommy leaving Eddie’s place. The gross realization that they actually do have the same type after all.

“Why don’t you keep moving Hagan,” Steve says, nodding his head in the opposite direction.

“Nah, I think I’m good right here, actually,” he says, confidence returning.

This guy just doesn’t know when to quit.

“Tommy seriously,” Steve tries again. “Go bother someone else. We’re not interested.”

“Oh, so you’re speaking for him now too?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffs. “You know I’m not interested in you. Never have been and never will be.”

That does it.

Steve sees the moment Tommy’s confident facade breaks. The rosiness of his cheeks grows into an angry red, flooding his body. His eyes, once glossy, are now laser-sharp and squinted. His fingers curl into fists at his side as he readies himself.

Steve’s faster though, stepping in front of Eddie at the same moment Tommy lunges. It would be easy to put an end to this once and for all. Give Tommy the gift of a black eye or bruised rib with one skilled punch that Steve would love to throw. But Tommy shithead Hagan isn’t worth losing his job for, so he reigns in his own anger and instead gets his palms on Tommy’s chest to hold him back.

“Don’t be stupid, Hagan,” Steve says. “Warren’s watching. Do you really want to lose your job for good this time?”

The words are supposed to knock some sense into the guy, calm him down. But it does the opposite, riling him up even more until Steve can practically feel his skin vibrating under his hands. Thankfully, Aaron and the rest of his minions are there in an instant, pulling him away and holding him back.

They try their best to calm him down but Steve can see Tommy’s anger growing by the second. He’s only seen him this angry once before — two months ago when Warren removed him from the route. He doesn’t need to see an encore performance so instead he reaches for Eddie’s hand and drags them away from the impending doom.

📬 🎄 📬

“Part of me still thinks you should have let him have it,” Eddie laughs, shoveling a mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes into his mouth.

“Tommy’s not worth it.”

“I would have been so pissed if I missed you deck him,” Robin says, working her way through her own mountain of pancakes.

“That’s the real reason you didn’t punch him, isn’t it?” Eddie teases.

“Oh yeah,” Steve deadpans, rolling his eyes. “Promised Robin I wouldn’t punch anyone unless she was there to witness it.”

“Does she also have to refrain from punching people,” Chrissy asks.

Robin shakes her head. “Why? Is there someone I need to punch in your honor?”

“Not yet,” Chrissy says, nuzzling into her side. “But if Eddie makes us go to the Birchwood Holiday party in these tonight, you might need to. Debbie’s nephew is in town and he keeps staring at me from the window.”

“Again with the sweaters,” Eddie huffs, letting his fork clatter to the table. “They’re cozy and hilarious. You guys are just boring! Besides, people are going to love my sweater. You’ll see. They’re going to be all the rage one day.”

“Debbie already thinks they are,” Chrissy giggles. “I saw her wearing the one that says “I’m So Good Santa Came Twice” the other day while she was taking out the trash.”

“You gave Debbie one?” Steve shouts, nearly spitting out his orange juice in the process. Robin does spit out her drink, through her nose as usual as she chokes on her own laughter.

“She cornered me and I panicked! I didn’t think she’d wear it!”

“Look on the bright side, Eddie,” Robin says between shrieks of laughter. “With Debbie’s help, every suburban mom in Brookbridge will be walking around in one by next Christmas.”

“It’s a good thing you know a great delivery man,” Steve teases. “Because they’re going to be flying off the shelves.”

“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” he groans.

As the table erupts into another fit of laughter, Steve can’t help but tug Eddie towards him before giving him a soft, syrup-infused kiss. And if he whispers something about feeling inspired by the inappropriate sweater Eddie’s picked out for him to wear later, well, that’s between him and Eddie and whoever’s bedroom they end up in when they leave Murray’s.

Besides, he still owes him for not punching Tommy himself at that holiday party.

And Steve always delivers.

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