#so don't worry that you can't verbally explain that you're sorry!!!

[romanestuffsposts]

Hi hi hi!

Can you write a Stucky x ticklish little reader where Daddy and Papa realize that she laughs more and gets more flustered when they verbally tease her when they tickle her?

Hiii there love! 💜

Of course I can write it for you! That’s such a cute request I absolutely love it, thank you for that!

I’m sorry it took so long to come out, tho.

I wish you a happy new years's eve!!!!

Enjoy <33

****

Warnings : tickles, teasing, ticklish feet, ticklish armpits, ticklish ribs, playful, pet names, fluff, kisses, cuddles

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : When your Daddies discover something, they'll sure keep their attentions on it...

****

You always loved getting tickled, wether it was from your Daddies or by anything that tickles your sensitive skin by one little touch.

It’s rare that you have a full session where they tickles you until you pee on yourself but they love to poke your ribs whenever you remove your shirt or lightly wiggling their indexes in the allow of your arms when tou stretch in bed in the morning.

They love washing your little toes just to watch them curl and to hear you laughing in the bathtub. But it never went further, or it’s been a long time that it happened and you don’t remember

However, it’s apparently about to change today.

You were currently cooking cookies with your Papa while your Daddy was away on a mission. During those kind of times, when one of your Daddies were working, the other who stay with you do whatever he can to change your mind.

You have the bad habits to quickly getting worried for the most little thing so it's their goals to occupied you. You even sleep in their bed each nights when it happens so you won't be alone.

The morning was filled with laughters and good memories as your Papa taught you how to cook his famous cookies you love so much.

You're now spinning in the cookie dough like your Papa explained to you, sitting on your ankles. You hear your Papa praising you here and there each time he looks over your shoulder to see the bowl

"good job, princess"

"you're stronger than me, you don't seems even tired"

"that's my good girl"

"here, you can drop a finger in the dough because of your good job"

"you're doing it so perfectly good"

At one point, he comes behind you but apparently you hadn't heard him beause you discreetly drop a finger in the dough again, not knowing he was right behind you.

He tilts his head and shakes it with a smirk on his lips. Even tho you weren't allowed to do that, he still find it pretty adorable.

He stands back up and keep watching you quietly from behind. He rests his hands on the counter, right beside you and lower his head, shaking it again as he sees you dropping another finger in the bowl.

He taps his fingers on the counter and watch them as he thinks about what he's going to do with you. The though stop there once he notices your little feet sneaking from under you.

He grins with closed lips and leans down until his cheek is against yours, at the same time, his fingers come closer to your soles and as he whispers the words "what are you doing behind my back, sneaking little one" his fingers fall on your sensitive skin.

Your toes curled at the contact and you giggle as you try to block your feet with your hands behind you. Your Papa anticipited this move tho, he hugs your upper body, which cause him to block your arms. Now that he has full access to your little feet, he won't stop himself.

"what ?" he mocks as he travels the tips of his fingers against your soft soles "ohhh you thought I wouldn't see you eating all the cookies dough behind my back ?" he smirks

"well you're wrong, princess. Remember that i have eyes everywhere" He kisses your cheeks and laughs along with you. You're laughters intensify when he starts to tickle you with his nails

"you can't get away without anything after what you did, huh ?"

You laugh harder after each sentences he makes and that's only when he realizes it.

"you like it when i tease you baby ?" he smirks, his fingers still torturing your squirming soles. You lean your head back against his shoulder and shake your head

"your adorable little giggles tell me otherwise, princess" he chuckles.

~

A few days later, your Daddy is finally back home but you don't know that right now.

You're in their bedroom because you wanted to wear one of their big shirt that always smell good like them, you're trying to remove your own shirt but you failed.

Everything went perfectly fine before you tried to pass your shirt above your head. You're now trapped in you own clothe, your arms above your head.

You groan in frustation.

The groan covers the sound of the door opening and your Daddy had to contain himself from laughing. He steps to you until he's standing in front of you and enjoy for a moment watching you squirming your way out of the shirt, without success anyway.

He smirks and lifts his indexes up bringing them toward your exposed armpits. The soft touch didn't just took you by surprise, you immediately feel ticklish at just the touch. You bring your upper body down by reflex and let out a scream of giggles.

This cause your Daddy to laugh and to, of course, keep going "what's the matter, little one ?" he teases.

You gasp behind your laughters at the voice of your Daddy. It's been days since you last ehard him and you didn't even know he was home. Of course you could've guessed it was him because of his cold hand but your mind was too busy with the tickles to registering the others sensations on your skin.

"D-daddyy" you whine between giggles. He chuckles but keep going "yessss ?" he mocks with the same tone you used "why don't you come to greet me, baby ?" he smirks "you too busy to come to Daddy ?"

You groan and fall on the ground as you squirm "oh, why are you leaving me ?" He follows you on the ground and reach this time for your ribs. He wiggles his fingers on your upper ribs causing you to scream and kicking your feet "aren't you the cutest" he laughs

"does that tickle ?" He asks knowingly. He's kinda surprise by your reaction, of course he knew you were incredibly tickles almost everywhere on your precious little body but you never react like that, with screams.

Usually you giggle and laugh, you kick them with your feet and try to crawl away but this time, it's clearly different.

"did you get more ticklish during the time i was away or what ?" he laughs, not believing the reaction he gets from you. You yell at him to stop because you can't take it anymore and he does.

He helps you getting out of your shirt and contain his laughters when he sees your messy hair on your face and your angry face as you glare at him.

He tilts his head, a smile on his face. After some secondes he opens his arms "com'here my babygirl" he says with a soft voice. Your glare immadiately vanish and you jump in his ambrace.

"god I missed you so much"

[thewritingofspencerrose]

"Niña, are you okay?" Is the first thing that greets my ears upon returning to the Aston Martin garage, Fernando's concerned expression meeting mine as he gives me a once over.

"I'm assuming my debacle in Redbull has already made it back here?"

"It's all over the internet," Lance is the one to answer, looking hesitant to continue. "Including the part where he announced that you're Verstappen's little sister."

Of course someone caught that on video. "Fuck me."

"Don't worry, no one around here will treat you any different," the Canadian assures, looking more sorry than I'd really like. "We're all pretty tired of the Verstappen's anyway. As long as you're okay, and that ass was kicked out, we're good, yeah?"

I can't help but laugh, nodding at the Canadian. Why he's made out to be the biggest ass, i have limited idea.

"Ms. Hughes, Mr. Caufield, Fernando and Lance will be needed in 30 for prep, so-" One of the staff mentions, earning a nod from the for of us. "We have prepared a set of stools in front of an Aston Martin backdrop for you all. It is just over here," She explains, pointing off to the side.

"Great, thank you much," I thank, taking the microphones from her hands before stealing Cole's hand from himself, pulling him to our designated chairs.

"Okay, so, the camera is here and rolling, so when you all are done we will edit it together," The woman explains, waving her hands around before walking off without a response.

"Y'all are very straight to business around here, aren't you?" The joke slips, ignoring my knowledge that Lance's father literally owns this team.

"You get used to it," Is Lance's chuckled response, just shrugging it off, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I get it, hockey's the same," Cole chimes, the little comment learning a kind smile. They're relating, Mom would say, it's how boys deal with feelings.

"Okay boys," I begin, clapping quietly and collecting their attention. "Starting in 3-" Cole's hand is moving to my leg, resting just above my knee in support. "2-" Fernando is running a hand through his hair, using Lance's sunglasses as a mirror. "And 1!"

"Hello everyone and welcome back to today's episode of A Women's Guide to Sports! As always, my name is Emily Hughes and today I am coming to you from the Canadian Grand Prix!"

"If you are one of my people who are watching this on social media, hi!" She greets with a little wave. "Or if you're one of my podcast diehards, I'm here to clue you in."

"As you most will have seen prior to this episode on social media, today I am here at the race with my brother Jack Hughes and Trevor Zegras, both probably lost in the paddock, and my boy Cole Caufield as guests of Aston Martin!" Cole gives her a little squeeze of acknowledgment with one hand, the other waving to the camera with a smile.

"Speaking of AM, we have some very special guests today, gentlemen, would you mind saying hi to the people on the other end of the audio?"

Both Aston drivers wave to the camera, offering a verbal hello as well.

"It's great to be here," Fernando assures, his quieter teammate nodding.

"We'll see if you still believe that when we're done with the questions I have for you two."

"Starting with?" Lance has enough self-respect to be concerned. He has seen her interviews before, asking about life while living the sport rather than just logistics.

'Women connect to a sport more when they can connect to a person, rather than data,' Emily had answered once when asked about the peculiar nature of her interviews.

Everyone knows those are the hardest questions to answer.

"So, we'll start a little easy on the questions here: Is it true that you have unofficially adopted Lance, Fernando?"

The older driver laughs, a light pink taking over Lance's cheeks as both men laugh, making Emily's smile impossibly larger, a sight that makes her brothers smile from off to the side, hidden from view and the camera.

"She seems to enjoy this," Max comments to Jack, noticing how easily she prompts the borderline ridiculous questions along, making sure to include many real questions about the cars performance and what it's like to live and love in Formula one. "She is doing better than most of the journalists."

Jack is an older brother, it's in his blood, and while that prevents him from trusting Emily's newfound family, he also knows that anything less than an attempt at acceptance would result in puppydog eyes.

And God all her brother's are a sucker for those.

"Yeah, she's studying journalism in New York, it's always been a passion of hers," Is the Hughes boys response, although he can't help the smile that takes place on his face. "While Quinn, Luke and I were pretending to be NHL stars as kids, she was pretending to interview us."

Max knew it would be hard not knowing her since she was a child. With his other half siblings he had been given the opportunity to be in their lives for all of those moments, or to at least know they happened.

"Now, this question is for the both of you," Emily catches his attention once more, "Fernando, towards the beginning of the season you were connected to one Taylor Swift, with rumors of you two being together floating around," She begins, giggling when Fernando winks dramatically at the camera. "With her mention in the sport, there was an increase in attention as everyone tried to puzzle out what was happening. Do you both believe that if big names such as Ms. Swift began to invest more into the sport, the audience would grow?"

Lance takes the question, diving in to how with his father being an investor, he does believe that if large names were to contribute more, the sport would increase in numbers. Fernando expands on it, explaining that that's how these things work, and why the teams like Ferrari and Redbull have such a following.

"So," Jack starts, doing his best to bond. "Do you have any other siblings?"

Max can't help the way his brows scrunch at the question. It's clearer by the second that as they watch their sister, they're just trying to get by.

"I have four," He decides to answer. "My sister Victoria is by full blood, then my sister Blue Jaye from my fathers second marriage and Jason and Mila from his third."

"God," the Hughes almost grunts. "Em has another brother and three sisters?"

"Yes," He hadn't processed that his siblings would be hers as well. "Does she have more brothers... through your family?" Is the only way Max can think to ask. "You mentioned a Quinn earlier?'

Jack nods, still in minor surprise that his sister has gone from simply having three brothers to now having five and three sisters. "Quinn's the oldest of us all, then there's me, Em, and we have a younger brother Luke."

Emily seems to have superior hearing, because her next question is on the same topic her brothers have been covering, "Now men, on to siblings, how does it feel knowing your sisters are superior to you?"

[bellarkeselection]

Could you do a damon short

Where y/n was in the hospital from.a crash . And he gets mad at elena for letting it happen. But y/n gets turned into a vampire because he forgot his blood was in her

Can't Blame Her

"Get out of here Elena. I'm not in the mood to see anyone - especially you." Damon grumbled pressing his forehead against the glass as you layed in a hospital bed in a coma after the car crash off the bridge. "Damon, let me explain. I'm sorry about Y/n. I didn't know that Stefan was going to-" She tried to explain until he grabbed her by her hair shoving into your room locking the door behind him. He throws the Gilbert girl in the window making her grunt dropping to the floor. "I don't want to her your apology Elena. Y/n is dead because of you - she's not coming back because of you - I honestly don't know why she remained friends with you in the first place!" Elena got to her feet about to respond until you suddenly gasped, eyes shooting opened from the bed making the pair put their attention on you instead of the heated argument.

My eyes flickered around the room making me moan as I can hear every single sound inside the hospital. Even the ones that no human would be able to. Meaning I was no longer one of them but in fact a vampire. Damon vamps to my bedside dropping to his knees grabbing my freehand planting kisses to it. "You're back baby. I thought - I thought I'd lost you...I love you Y/n." He sniffed through tears as I feel a hunger growing in the back of my throat. "Damon, I need a drink..." He started to leave the room but I grabbed his wrist pointing my index to Elena standing in the corner. "From her...blood." Damon knitted his brows together stuck in his place for a second then rests a hand to my face cradling it gently like I'm a breakable doll.

"You're like me now aren't you babygirl....I'm so sorry you never wanted this...what I am." It was true what he said. Being a vampire meant that I could have children. I didn't mind the power that would come with it. The speed and hearing...I'm not a fan of the blood thing but I'd have to get used to it. Running my fingers up the arm of his black leather jacket I whispered knowing he would hear me regardless. "Damon, you're right I didn't want this...but now I get to be with the guy I love for eternity. We won't have to worry about me aging and dying in your arms like you mentioned in your nightmares. I'm all yours forever." Elena walked up giving me her wrist to bite on and I do reading her eyes that needed no verbal response. Wiping my mouth with my sleeve I feel my fangs pop out of my gums causing me to grab Damon by the collar of his jacket crashing my lips to his. He climbed onto the empty space of my bed only breaking the kiss to reply with a grin. "I love you Y/n. You are my life for all eternity."

Comments really appreciated 😊

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Date (Christen Press x Reader)

It is 1:30am and this is absolutely not edited at all so mind any mistakes. I hope you enjoy :)

Warning- Some mentions of anxiety and panic attacks. 

Words: 2.5K

I was a highly anxious person. I know it's a bit weird considering I'm a professional soccer player who plays for the national team. The only time I'm ever really relaxed is on the field. Most of the time, seeing fans after the game doesn't make me that nervous either. Lot's of people, too much noise, media days, plus much more is what made me most anxious. So much so I'll have non-verbal episodes where I get overly anxious, I stop talking as a way to cope with it. My therapist and I had been working on ways to cope better which was helping slowly. It was still a big issue.

At my first camp I had quite a few non-verbal episodes which led the team to think I didn't really like them. After I got to know them a bit better, I had written a letter to explain, since no matter how much I tried I could never get out the words. They were all really supportive, still included me even when I stopped talking and started to be able to understand my way of communicating when I couldn't talk. I was more comfortable around them now which mean It was going non-verbal less. Except when it came to Christen. I had a huge crush on her, my anxiety spiked whenever she was around and I got incredibly nervous. She had never commented on it so I hoped she didn't notice. It also never changed the way she interacted with me. Despite how nervous she made me, I still found myself drifting to her in crowds as a form of comfort.

Kelley knew all about my crush on Christen. I'm not sure how she found out, but she did. Since then she has been trying to get me to ask her out. Kelley was pretty sure that Christen felt the same, I had never gotten the courage to do it though. Now, I had no choice. I was so sure I would beat her that I had made a bet, if I lost I had to ask Christen out. Of course I had lost. It took a lot of pacing and encouragement from Kelley to finally be able to even approach Christen. Then it took another few minutes before I could look at her let alone ask her.

"Are you okay Y/n?" Christen asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Go on a date with me?" I blurted before I could shut down again.

"Seriously?"

Her response had me panicking. I couldn't tell if she was just surprised or if she was disgusted by the idea, so before I could think about it, I responded, "I had to at least ask you, I lost a bet with Kelley."

"Well, you asked so that's that."

I realised that I messed up by saying that so quickly added, "Wait, I actually do want to go on a date with you, this bet with Kelley was just to push me to actually ask."

"Sure it was."

"I know that came out wrong, but I seriously do want to go on a date with you Chris. I've wanted to ask you for a while now, but you know words are not my strong suit at all and I was scared and nervous an-"

A hand on my arm made me freeze, "You're rambling."

"Sorry."

"Yes, I would love to go on a date with you Y/n."

"Really?" She only nodded in response, a small smile on her lips, "Awesome, um great, can't wait."

Christen giggled, "You're cute when you're nervous, do we wait until we're back in LA?"

"We can if you want, but uh I have an idea if you're free tomorrow night?"

"Well we don't have anything team related tomorrow night so yes I'm free."

"Cool, I'll pick you up at 5:30?"

"I can't wait." We just kind of stood there for a few seconds, until Christen spoke up again easing the slight awkwardness between us, "Help me pack these away?"

---

I hadn't slept well last night. All I could think about was my date with Christen which made me anxious because I wanted to impress her. I was also worried I would get so nervous around her that I would go non-verbal again. That was the last thing I wanted. Overthinking it would probably increase the chances of it happening, but I couldn't stop the thoughts no matter what I tried. I was even thinking about cancelling the date all together. All the thoughts, mixed with lack of sleep sent me into a panic attack before that could happen. Kelley had helped me through it before laying with me until I eventually fell asleep. When I had woken up again, I was alone, but a lot calmer. I was able to focus on setting up the date.

I had another mini panic attack in the shower when getting ready, but still managed to make it to Christens room on time. Christen was wearing a simple, sleeveless black lace skater style dress that stopped just above her knees, with low heels. I scanned her body quickly before forcing myself meet her eyes. She was stunning. I played with the ring on my finger to keep my nerves in check, "Y-you look um amazing."

She blushed slightly, "So do you Y/n." I was wearing black skinny jeans, with a burgundy button up and flat ankle boots. I naturally ran hot and it was a warm night so I wasn't wearing a jacket. If I'm being honest, the only reason I even had a jacket on me was incase Christen got cold.

"Shall we?" Christen slipped on her jacket then we made our way out of the hotel. The place we were going was only a five minute walk from the hotel. It took a lot to resist the urge to hold her hand as we walked. I know she agreed to go on a date with me, but I didn't want to do anything she might not want me to. My anxiety was already telling me that maybe she only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

When we arrived at an apartment complex, Christen looked confused, but followed me up anyway. One of my friends was away for a couple of nights and had let me borrow her apartment. She had a balcony that had an amazing view of the city especially at night. I had set the table on the balcony to look similar to a restaurant and had strung up fairy lights around the balcony. The thought of lots of people, the possibility of people recognizing us and going on a date with Christen meant my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't calm my nerves enough to take her to a proper restaurant so I was trying my best to make it romantic.

Christen looked slightly shocked when we walked in and she saw the balcony. I found myself nervous that she wouldn't like it or would have preferred a proper restaurant.

"So, I know this was probably not what you were thinking, but as you know I get nervous around lots of people and since I already get so nervous around you, I didn't want that to get in the way of having a good night. I hope this is okay."

"This is perfect Y/n. Did you do this? Who's apartment is this?"

"I did. I wanted it to be nice for you. It's a friend of mine, she's out of town for a couple of days. Can I get you a glass of wine?"

"It's beautiful. I would love one, thank you."

After getting the wine for Christen and beer for myself, we sat down at the table while I waited for dinner to cook. I had spent the last few hours setting up and preparing dinner. Cooking and baking was something I loved to do and I wanted to spoil Christen so I had made lasagna with homemade pasta and pasta sauce, homemade garlic bread sticks and salad. I also made dark chocolate and raspberry truffles. We had an off day tomorrow, so a cheat night wouldn't hurt.

We made small talk for a while, well Christen did most of the talking until I felt myself start to relax a little bit and could actually talk without being a stuttering mess. During dinner we mostly ate in silence, but it was comfortable.

"That was amazing, thank you," Christen said after we finished dessert and took our plates to the sink.

"You're welcome Chris. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

After a few minutes of enjoying the view, Christen spoke up, "So, you get nervous around me?"

"Incredibly nervous, that's part of the reason I get so quiet around you."

She smiled softly, "Why do I make you nervous?"

"Well, you are beautiful, ambitious, smart, considerate, passionate, funny, and you're kind of intimidating."

"Intimidating?"

"N-not in a bad way, I just have a big crush on you." I cleared my throat, before standing up, suddenly feeling nervous and slightly awkward about how much I had revealed to her, "Do you want more wine?"

Christen grabbed my hand before I could get far, "Hey, don't get all quiet and shy on me. I have a big crush on you too so we're even. You kind of make me nervous as well."

Reluctantly, I sat back down across from her, she didn't let go of my hand, "Really? Don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of find that hard to believe. I mean, I'm just me."

"You are you. You are an amazing person Y/n. I admit it was your quietness that made me most nervous. I could never get a read on what you were thinking or feeling, um for me specifically. At first I just thought you didn't like, well any of us, then you opened up more and I got some mixed messages about how you felt about me. Sometimes, you would be really talkative, other times, more so around me you just didn't say anything. Then, I thought you would flirt with me, but I also thought it could be all in my head. I now understand why you're sometimes talkative then not other times. Even understanding why still made me nervous though because I didn't know how you felt."

"I'm sorry, I know I can be confusing sometimes. You're right though, I was always more quiet or had more non-verbal episodes when you were around because of how nervous you made me, but you also sometimes made me feel more comfortable. Having you around in situations where there were lots of people or media days, made me more relaxed. And yes there were times when I would feel confident and flirt with you."

Christen smiled, lacing our fingers together, "Is it bad to say I'm grateful for Kelley and her bets for once?"

"No, because I agree. I honestly don't know if I would have asked you anytime soon if not for the bet."

Our fingers remained laced together as we enjoyed the view and talked about anything we could think of. This had to be the first time I had felt this relaxed around Christen. It was probably because she now knew how I felt and felt the same way. Knowing that had calmed my nerves enough to realise how calming Christen actually was to be around. Yes, she was a comfort in some situations, but I had never been able to relax around her much. I was still a bit nervous if she would want to go on another date with me, but I was trying my best to push it away and just enjoy the moment.

Christen kissed the back of my hand. Goosebumps made their way up my arm at the feeling as I stuttered over what I was saying, Christen tried and failed to hide her giggle while I couldn't help think about what it would be like to kiss her, "Thank you Y/n, I think this is the best date I've ever been on. I don't want it to end."

My heart felt like it skipped a beat. All I wanted to do was give Christen a good night, to make her feel special. It was a relief to hear that she had enjoyed it, "It doesn't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my friend did say we were free to stay here the night. She definitely meant it in a different way, but she has a comfy couch, big TV, multiple streaming sites and popcorn. We have an off day tomorrow."

"Movie night?"

"Movie night. You pick the movie and I'll get popcorn. There's a box of my clothes in that room over there if you want to change."

An expression, I could have sworn was jealousy passed over Christen, but was quickly covered up, "Why is there a box of your clothes?"

"I stored some of my stuff here when I moved and I've just never taken that box back." I quickly got changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie before putting the popcorn on.

When I got back, Christen had changed, picked some rom-com and was cuddled under the blanket in the middle of the couch.  I chose to sit near the arm of the couch with my legs tucked up, leaving space between us so I didn't cross any lines. About 20 minutes had passed when Christen moved to sit cross-legged, she ended up closer with our knees touching. I still had my legs tucked up so I shifted slightly and put my arm up on the back of the couch as a way of inviting her to cuddle if she wanted to. A few seconds passed before Christen moved so she was cuddled up against my side.

The couch was wide enough that two people could lie down, cuddled up with each other pretty comfortably so I moved us to lying down. I was lying down flat while Christen was lying on her side with her head on my shoulder and an arm over my stomach. There was room for her to move back a bit if she wanted to, but she didn't which made my heart speed up. It was comfortable and safe, like we were made to fit together.

We stayed like that until the movie finished and Christen looked up at me. She was so close that if I moved a few inches I could kiss her. I decided to just push away my nerves and asked to kiss her before I could back out. Christen simply nodded. My hand was shaking slightly as I cupped her cheek and connected our lips in a soft kiss. Her hand covered mine, making me relax fully. The kiss was soft and sweet, it was like nothing I had experienced before. As cliché as it sounds, I felt sparks and goosebumps, but most importantly, I felt peace, comfort and safety. All my anxiety melted away and I never wanted to let her go, never wanted to stop kissing her. After a few seconds, a smile broke out on Christens face, making us pull apart. I couldn't help the grin that grew on mine.

That night I fell asleep on the couch with Christen cuddled up against me and a smile on my face. It was the first night in a long time I had fallen asleep then stayed asleep with no issues.

[antiromantic-astronaut]

choi san x gender neutral reader

summary: San's partner suffers a severe panic attack. This is how they get through it together.

content warnings: panic disorder (forgetting how to breathe and swallow), going non-verbal, forgetting words, guilt.

San checks his phone for the umpteenth time, and bites the inside of his cheek with worry. It's unlike you to not respond to a text for so long. He texted you this morning, wishing you well and telling you he loves you, and he hasn't heard back from you at all.

He tried calling you around 2 in the afternoon, and you didn't pick up. He looks at the time. It's half past 5 now. He'll be here recording for a few more hours. He decides to try calling you again when you respond to his text.

I'm sorry. Persimmon.

His heart aches. Persimmon is the word you use to let him know that you're not well. You've struggled with a panic disorder since you were a kid, and medication and therapy help to manage it most days. But some days, it gets bad. Often, those days render you nonverbal, so San designated a word for you to text him and let him know what's happening.

He's frustrated. Not because you're struggling, but because you didn't let him know sooner. He knows that it's because you don't want to burden him, but he's told you again and again that he wants to be there with you and for you, no matter what. It breaks his heart that when you're hurting so much that you can't speak, you don't expect anyone to help you.

He texts you back, I'm coming home. I love you.

He goes to Hongjoong and explains the situation to him, and together they talk with management. San gets the okay to leave early. He tells his members that he's sorry, and they reassure him that it's okay. They love him, they love you.

San changes out of his stage clothes and into something incognito so he can slip away without much notice.

I'm on my way. I'll be home in about 20 minutes.

When he gets to your apartment, he takes his shoes off and walks purposefully through the kitchen, the living room, and to the bedroom. But you're not in bed where he expects you to be.

The bathroom door is closed, so he calls your name and listens. He hears a soft reply and opens the door. You're sitting between the toilet and the wall with your forehead on your knees, and an ice pack on the back of your neck. He kneels next to you and takes a deep breath.

He holds out his hand and waits for you to take it.

"Can I hold you?" He asks. You squeeze his hand once for no. "That's okay. Can I get you some water?"

Two squeezes for yes. He assures you he'll be right back. He looks for your water bottle in its usual spot, but it's not there. He doesn't want to leave you alone for too long, so he settles for a mug.

When he gets back to you, you've started to cry. You're trembling and your breath is stilted, like each intake is only half completed.

He sits next to you on the cold bathroom floor and offers you water. You look up at him, but he can tell you're not seeing him. He takes your hand in both of his.

"Hey, you're safe," he says. "You're safe. I love you. You're safe."

You blink sluggishly, and pooled tears spill down your cheeks.

"San?" His name is a whispered question, like you're unsure of where you are.

"Yes, baby, it's me. You're at home with me, and you're safe."

He offers you water and you take a small gulp, but you forget how to swallow and choke. The panic in your eyes is terrifying. Now you can't remember how to breathe at all.

"Hey, hey, look at me," San brings your hand up to his chest and lays it flat so you can feel him breathing. "In," he takes a deep breath in. "Out. In, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4."

You breathe together for a few minutes, and then you try to take another sip of water.

"There you go," he praises you. "You're doing so well."

By the time your breathing has regulated, the ice pack on your neck is room temperature. San takes it from you and sets it next to the now empty mug.

"Is it okay if we go to bed?" He asks.

You take his hand and squeeze it twice. He slowly stands up and helps you do the same. He notices now that you're still in your pajamas. You never made it to work today. He sits you on the bed and says he'll be right back.

He refills your mug and places the ice pack in the freezer. He turns on the essential oil diffuser and lays down next to you.

"Can I...?" You ask, unable to remember the words for what you want, so you pat his chest.

"Of course. Come here," he says, opening his arms.

You lay on top of him and take a deep breath. He smells like vetiver and cedarwood. It's so soothing. He holds you tight enough to let you know he's got you, but loose enough that you don't feel restrained. Your eyes feel like they've been treated with sandpaper. You close them and they sting, but you will them to stay shut.

You fall asleep to the steadiness of San's heartbeat. He stays awake, fighting his own regrets. There are a lot of maybes that go through his mind, even though he knows that he couldn't have done more than he did.

In all honesty, he was surprised by this panic attack. It had been almost six months since the last time you'd had one. He took for granted that healing isn't a straight path to the finish line. That's something he remembers reading when he'd researched panic disorders after you first confided in him about your experiences. Healing could be chaotic and painful. He doesn't know what triggered this attack, and that scares him. How can he protect you from something he can't recognize as a threat?

You shift in his arms with a whimper. He's scared that you're having a nightmare, and he doesn't want you to wake up in a panic, so he gently calls your name until you wake.

"San?" You sit up and survey the room. He left a nightlight on for you. You look at the digital clock. It's just after 2 am.

"I'm here," he assures you, hand on your knee.

You're quiet for a minute, and then in a very small voice, you apologize. Your breath hitches, and tears begin to well. You're so sorry.

San immediately sits up and wraps his arms around you.

"Hey, you haven't done anything wrong. I love you. I'm here because I want to be here. I love you so much."

"I can't," you can't remember words. Your brain is static between your ears. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's okay. Let's breathe." He guides you through a breathing exercise. He asks you to describe something you hear. You tell him the ceiling fan is humming. He asks you what you smell. You describe the lavender essential oil and him. He taps on each of your finger tips, counting them out to you.

"I have ten fingers," you say.

"Ten perfect fingers," he kisses the back of your hand.

You hug him around his neck, calmer now than you've been in the last 24 hours. You know you'll have to do hard work in the morning. You'll have to reschedule with your therapist to an earlier date, you'll have to try to eat and keep it down, you'll have to attempt to identify what triggered this attack, you'll have to work through the guilt of pulling San into your mess. But gods, are you so grateful he's here.

"San," you pull away from him just a little bit. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you."

"Please," his voice cracked. "You haven't done anything wrong. I love you too. So much."

You cuddle up together and sleep for a while. You're both exhausted, but being together is like a promise that tomorrow will be better.

[author's note: i want you to know that if you suffer from an anxiety/panic disorder, i see you and i'm proud of you for surviving. not everyone has access to the help they need. i love you. you're not alone.]

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Can I request a Loki x plus!size reader. Where Loki and the reader get into a big argument and Loki goes to Stark's party and gets drunk the reader gets dressed up and goes to Stark's party to apologize but when she finds him she sees him kissing some blond model Loki notices and tries to tell the reader that she came on to him but she won't listen so she starts hanging out with bucky and Loki is jealous of course he feels like he is dying inside watching them have fun together but the reader and Bucky are just friends Loki plans a romantic dinner and apologizes to the reader and tells her how much she means to him and proposes the reader says yes. "My gosh sorry this is so long"😑

Hi! Thanks for the request! This is just perfect! I love well prepared and long concepts so don't worry if it's too long!

I can explain! | Avenger!Loki x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Loki made a mistake and you saw something out of context, but he can definitely explain what happened, right?

Cw: Angst, some humor, mild heartbreak, jealousy, cussing, verbal fighting, fluff and comfort

Loki and Y/n had been together for a long time now, almost 5 years! Ever since he moved to Midgard or well, Earth, he sparked your attention and he immediately fell in love with you, crazy right? A literal god falling in love with you? You're quite pretty, even if you were in the bigger side of body types but who cares? You got Loki and he never failed you, right?

Right?

"I can't believe you did that Loki!" You yelled at him as you two entered your apartment at the tower "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!"

A few minutes ago, Loki had pulled a stunt of his with your family, it was a family dinner and he had the great idea of "having fun" and "lighting up the mood" by making the roast chicken walk all along the table, scaring your family to death almost giving your grandma a heart attack

"Come on love, it was just some fun!" He tried to humor you

"Fun?! You almost kill granny Betty! Do you know how old is she?!"

He rolled his eyes "Darling, just calm down okay-"

"No! I won't forgive this one! I don't want to see you!" You stormed into your room while he plopped down on the sofa

"Damn it..."

The next day... Or well night-

Loki was getting ready for Tony's party, it was really important and big, lots of people would be there and he wanted you to go

"Honey? Are you going with me?" He asked knocking on your door

"No! Go away!" You yelled

"Fine... I'll miss you..."

With that he left, you stayed in bed, feeling anger bubble in you from yesterday, how dare he just leave? He's supossed to stay here and ask you if you're okay and you'll say yes but you're actually not okay, so he will then keep asking and you'll grow more angry and-

"Fuck it!" You said standing up and throwing on some random clothes, going to the bar and general area where Tony would have his party

You walked through the crowds of people, trying to find Loki, wanting to apologize for your tantrums and to have a great time with him

But why is his tongue down a blonde's throat?

Wait what?!

"LOKI!" You yelled, he ripped the girl off of him but before he could talk you ran away

So much for an apology...

"Honey wait! I can explain!"

"Yeah right! That's what they all say!"

"No really! She came on me! It was her I didn't want her to kiss me! Honey I love you!" He tries to reason but you just kept walking "Damn it!" He had a seidr outburst making the furniture fly away and the stereo break "Shit, sorry!" He teleported away before Tony could yell at him

Days later... Women am I right?

You had been distant from Loki, he had fucked up twice and you were done with it, not quite breaking up with him but almost, just keeping your distance

And on these days, you were getting closer with Bucky, who only wanted to be friends with you, nothing more, but to Loki it seemed like something else, you talking with that metal man was boiling his blood so he planned something mischievous

That night... Damn this is long just kiss already-

Loki of course, couldn't talk to you, you would immediately run off or smack him... And run off

So he sent himself, as a cat... Genius right? Nothing could go wrong with tha-

"Shoo!" You said chasing Lokitty with a water spray, he hissed running away

Okay maybe not as a cat? Maybe a bird?

"Awwwwe, aren't you so cute?" You said as a beautiful green bird came onto your balcony and sat on the railing "So cute..." You said petting it

He knew this would work, so he gave in, but suddenly he was locked in a cage

"Too cute not to keep, I always say that"

"Damnit!" He yelled, now he could not get out "Y/n!" He yelled

You quickly came into the room, the bird was yelling for you?!

"Loki! You damned god!"

"Okay listen before you throw me out, I'm sorry okay? I was trying to just, get to you, forgive me my darling, I just wish to get peace between us, allow me to invite you to a nice dinner tonight, please?"

You thought for a moment, before giving in "Fine... I'll go with you... I guess..." You walked away

"Thank you darling.... Darling?... I'm still locked in here... Y/n!"

After Loki somehow got out of the cage...

He was nervous, this night was too important to ruin, nothing could go wrong tonight

When he saw you though, he felt his knees go weak, your dress hugged your voluptuous figure so nicely, and you looked so well with your hair styles like that

"Darling... You look like a goddess..." He said admiring your beauty "Let's go in..."

The table was situated on a nice view of the city, Tony had gotten you guys this restaurant and the table

"So darling... I want to begin saying that, I am so sorry, first for the dinner with your family and then, the party, that girl, she came on me, kissed me out nowhere, I couldn't react on time..."

You just listened to him, nodding

"And I'm sorry... Will you forgive me darling? You know I'm hooked with you, how you say it here, and I'm so in love with you I couldn't picture myself without you..." He stood up, getting on one knee for you "So that's why..."

"Loki..."

"Please darling let me finish I-"

"No Loki you're stepping on my foot"

He quickly stood up, making the food on the table fall and the wine fall on your dress, he cussed and felt like crying

"Damn it! Nothing ever goes how I planned it!"

"Loki calm down..." You giggled "It's okay... Finish your speech honey..."

He got back on one knee, opening the little box to show you en emerald ring on a gold band, you gasped for air, it was gorgeous

"Loki..."

He double checked to see if he wasn't stepping on you again

"Will you marry me?"

You jumped up, tackling him down, kissing his face "YES YES YES!"

He laughed, while sitting back up, placing the ring on your finger, kissing it afterwards "Thank you darling..."

At the end... He could explain...

[nev3rfound]

in another lifetime : part seven - h.z / l.k

knowing your time is up you have no choice but to accept your fate with laszlo by your side. yet zemo refuses to let this be the end for you, knowing there is so much more you for to experience and live for. 4.7k (it's a longun)

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests are now open!

warnings: elements of tfatws series and the alienist, injuries, health problems, mentions of illness and disjointed info from doctor strange kinda au, kinda sad in parts (this is all sort of an au so be mindful thank you!) SAD okay - i warned you

PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR / PART FIVE / PART SIX / PART SEVEN (the ending)

thank you so SO much for reading this series and allowing me to delve into other daniel bruhl characters. it's been a joy to write and here's to IALT :)

New York - 1898

Laszlo stirs beside you, turning over as the sun began to rise. The rays of light encroach through the curtains, illuminating a slither of your face for him to admire.

He couldn't help but think how peaceful you look in your sleep, without a single worry consuming your thoughts unlike his that haunts his sleep. He knew this was the end, and that there was no stopping the inevitable, but he'd at least make the most of what little time he has left with you.

Rising from the bed with a stiff back, Laszlo attempts to be quiet as the mattress rose with him. But he knew better than to assume you'd remain asleep, you always woke at the slightest of sounds.

"Why're you staring, Laszlo, don't you know it's rude?" Your voice remains heavy with sleep as you blink away the last of your dreams.

Unable to stop the corners of his lips rising, Laszlo nods. "Sometimes I just can't help myself, dear."

"I guess that can be forgiven," You mutter, forcing yourself to sit upright only to feel a wave of nausea overcome your senses.

Laszlo notices immediately and he reaches under the bed, handing you a bowl kept in case. He doesn't even flinch at the sound of you retching into the bowl, only lowers his gaze until you're composed.

"I'm sorry," The words are muffled by the bowl, but Laszlo hears you nonetheless. Awkwardly he makes his way over to your side and runs his fingers through your hair, brushing it from your face as you lift your head back up. "Las," You whisper his name, too afraid to say it.

Yet, he understands without having verbal confirmation.

It's time.

New York - 2025

Entering the close to an abandoned-looking building, Sam struggles to hold back a sneeze as he walked into a cobweb.

"Ma-duk," Zemo mutters, following Sam in with Bucky smiling to himself at the comment.

"I heard that." Sam retorts, wiping the cobweb away. "So, where are they?" He looks around at the dust-coated stairwell and stain-glassed windows.

Bucky hums. "They should be here."

"Yes, thank you for repeating that." Sam rolls his eyes. "How are we here before them when they can do that," Sam lifts his arms up, copying the actions often seen from the sorcerers of the mystic arts.

Zemo's ears perk up at a faint hissing sound, and as he turns sparks begin to form in thin air. "I think they might've heard you, Sam." Zemo calls out, watching several portals form and the recruited team of sorcerers step into the lobby.

Now standing before the trio, Strange approaches first.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this? We don't know how she'll react or if she'll even come back." Strange reminds Bucky specifically, knowing he had the most concern about you returning despite the longing to see you again.

"She needs to come back." Zemo comments with a small smile. "So she can heal, and live her life." He adds, looking down at his left hand, noting how it still feels odd to see his ring finger bare.

"There's one thing though that we haven't discussed," Emilie speaks up, sharing a look of understanding with Strange. "If Y/n returns, she, she won't be able to go back, not ever." Emilie explains with sorrow filling her tone, picturing your bright smile in those old articles everyone researched.

You'd be torn from your family once again, forced into another situation whether you'd like it or not.

"She'll never see Laszlo again?" Zemo is the first to ask, unsure what to make of it all.

"It's too complex for the timeline. If she were to return, a new timeline would form and," Strange trails off upon seeing blank expressions in response.

"If Y/n comes home, that's it." Emilie states finally. "It's up to her if she does, but we can at least try."

"So be it." Sam nods, sparing Bucky a look who nods in response despite his shoulders beginning to fall forward in despair.

Both Emilie and Strange turn their backs to face the other sorcerers and begin their process. "So, Y/n will be home." Sam chuckles dryly at the thought, after all these years without you to tease him or make him smile when times got tough. He knew he owed you more than these past few years, even if he's not been there to help you through them, he'll help you now.

--

Wandering the halls of the Institute, your fingers glide across the walls laced with memories. You'll never forget the children, their laughter or cries for a Mother figure and them finding comfort in you for a short while.

You find your feet guiding you toward Laszlo's office, the door remaining ajar and piano now clean from dust too tempting to ignore.

Sitting down once more your back remains turned from the doorway. Yet this time, you can sense Laszlo lingering, watching you closely as you begin to play a gentle melody.

With your eyes closed, your fingers guide the tune, one you knew from childhood- a simpler time before everything became so complicated when there were no worldly threats and a lifetime of loss.

"You played that once before," Laszlo enters his office, listening to the song ending and catches your fingers slipping from the keys. "Christmas Eve last year." He remembers, unaware of the tears forming in your eyes whilst he smiles at the memory.

"My mother taught it to me," You whisper, not wishing to shatter the moment with volume. "she, she would always sing along whilst dancing with my siblings." A single tear falls to your lap upon feeling Laszlo's hand rest on your shoulder, followed by his lips to the top of your head.

"I know Schatz, we danced together, along with Sara and John." Laszlo recalls as he lifts his head up, catching the downturn of your lips.

"Oh, of course," The words pass your lips in a mumble. "it's getting worse, Las." You hate to admit it aloud, but you both knew it would happen eventually.

Taking the spot beside you, Laszlo wraps his arm around you allowing you to rest your head on his chest. With a heavy sigh, he closes his eyes, treasuring this moment with you. "We knew this was coming, Y/n." Laszlo remains truthful, no matter how much it hurts. "But there's no need to be afraid, remember that."

Laszlo can hear you sniffling at his words he uses his bad arm to try and lift your chin so you can look at him properly.

Despite your blurred vision, you can tell he's crying too. "What if something happens?" You dare to question, knowing this is filled with uncertainties for you both.

"We'll figure it out, just like we always have." Laszlo states as he leans in, his lips brushing over yours. "It'll all work out, my dear." He mutters to you before kissing you again, this time not wanting to dare let go of you.

--

On the sidelines to the final preparation stands Bucky, watching everyone's movements and listening to the conversation.

"I thought you'd be more excited, hell, I anticipated a smile at the least." Sam tries to lighten the tense mood as he dares intrude Bucky from his thoughts.

Bucky pauses before sparing Sam a glance. "It's just not what I expected. After all this time." He admits, his mind racing with those photos and articles they all read about you.

You were a wife, a mother figure to children who needed one. A friend to many and a badass detective. It was everything you dreamt of having, but never had the opportunity to experience.

"Don't go telling me you wanna back out?" Sam notices the change in Bucky's posture immediately.

Shaking his head slowly, no more words are exchanged between the pair.

"It'll be Y/n's choice, Sam." Zemo comments, having overheard the brief conversation.

"But she should come home, to where she belongs." Sam can't help himself. He knows he might be selfish, but he doesn't want to lose you again, not like this. "If she doesn't come back, she's gone for good. There's no returning, no miracle, no spell or time travel available. She will become nothing more than a name on a gravestone."

Sam's words fall flat between everyone. His voice had risen during his statement.

Strange clears his throat, ensuring their attention reverts. "It's time, she's ready."

Every student present begins to form a line whilst Strange stands before them. "You know what to do, focus." He nods to them all, stepping back toward Bucky, Sam and Zemo as the students take deep breaths.

"You sure this'll work?" Sam can't help ask, depiste how much extensive practise has gone into this.

One by one, a portal begins to open. Some are to places unrecognisable, the wrong time period or the wrong city.

Yet, Emilie's leads to Doctor Laszlo Kreizler's institute.

"Well, who's going?" Emilie asks with a hint of a smile on her face, watching Strange, Sam and Bucky enter, leaving Zemo to stand watching. "You not joining?"

Zemo keeps his feet firmly planted on the spot. "It's not my place to be involved." He simply remarks, crossing his fingers behind his back, hoping you'll return.

--

"After all this, you're leaving?" Tears line Sara's cheeks, but she refuses to wipe them. This is her moment of weakness with the three people she trusts with everything. How was this supposed to become only two?

Laszlo's hand remains on your waist, holding you close. He can feel your body tensing, noting you clenching your fists as light streams through your veins.

"Trust me, if there was another way," You trail off when the pain intensifies. It feels like acid is pumping through your veins, causing you to fall into Laszlo who whispers comfort into your ear.

"We can't let her live like this," Laszlo kisses your temple, not wanting to face his friends. "she will be helped, she will be cured." He reaffirms. "That is what is important in this situation."

John, previously standing tall now slumps into the armchair. "I can't imagine our lives without you now, Y/n." John dryly chuckles, catching a half smile from you in response.

"I'll be back, John." You breathe out, missing the look Laszlo sends John. "Can't keep me gone. Not when there's so much to do around here." Forcing a small laugh, the pain begins to subside enough for you to support your own weight.

Yet, something shifts.

Laszlo notices, but Sara and John seem oblivious to such.

Without a second thought, your hand reaches for Laszlo's, taking his fingers between yours and clasping your hand into his. He squeezes three times, and you do in return.

"It's time." You stand tall, with your husband by your side. "Don't try and have too much fun without me, alright?"

Sara and John rise to their feet, embracing you in a hug before allowing you to walk out of the office, hand in hand with Laszlo.

Once you have turned the corner, Sara crumbles into John. "She's not coming back, is she?" Sara mutters, feeling John's hand on the back of her head, holding her close.

John needn't say a word, because they both knew from how tightly Laszlo held your hand, knowing it would soon slip from his forevermore.

--

Standing opposite the building, horses continued to neigh before being forced to walk on, guiding the carriages from their view leaving tracks of snow behind.

"We're really here, huh?" Sam looks in disbelief. Despite everything that's happened, this is probably in his top three weirdest situations.

Bucky watches intensely at the front door to the institution, the large gates guarding the building delicately wound with golden leaves. And then, his breath halters at the sight; you.

Strange can see it play out and extends his arm outward. "I wouldn't." His tone suggests a warning, and for once, Bucky obliges. "We have to let her do this, on her terms."

"How long do we have?" Sam asks, glancing back at the open portal. The rest of the sorcerers are supporting Emilie, seeing sweat drip from her forehead, her arms already trembling.

Without blinking, Strange responds. "5 minutes at most."

Dark clouds above begin to shake, dropping snowflakes down on the city, adding to the existing used pile beneath their feet.

The group watches you exit the building, hand in hand with Doctor Kreizler. If it were any other situation, Sam might've spared a laugh at your outfit, knowing how long it must've taken for you to comply to such a dress code.

You continue your conversation with Laszlo, pretending that this isn't it, because it's not, it cannot be. And then you see them, through the gates, your other family.

Without a chance to catch a breath, the piercing pain increases and you let out a scream.

"Schatz, it's alright, I've got you." Collapsing behind the gates, you close your eyes, embracing Laszlo as tears freely fall, almost freezing against your cheeks. "I've got you." He repeats, hearing hurried footsteps approaching the gates.

Two pairs of hands wrap around the gates, matched with concerned gazes set on you.

"Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, I take it?" Laszlo asks.

Neither Sam nor Bucky can get over the resemblance to the man standing on the other side of the portal, but they know this isn't the time to fixate on how you could hate one and love another.

"Can we come in?" Bucky questions, thankful when Laszlo nods.

Snapping the chains, the gates open outward.

"Come on, schatz." Laszlo lifts a hand up to your hair, brushing it out from your face, his heart sinking when you meet his gaze. "We both know this day would come, where one would say goodbye to the other before our time was up." He speaks clearly, submerging the pain in his voice.

Slowly you rise with his help, unaware of your oldest friends mere feet from you after all this time.

"Oh, Laszlo," You whisper, placing your hands on his cheeks, catching a tear he lets slip out at your delicate tone. "this isn't goodbye. There's still so much more for us to do."

Bringing his hands to cover yours, he moves them to his lips. "But I'm afraid we won't be doing it together, dear." He frets, feeling your hands shake in his.

"Our adventure isn't over, Las." Squeezing his hands three times, you focus on his deep eyes, remembering them clearly when he first stumbled upon you all those years ago. They were forever laced with kindness, and sincerity for those who needed help. He never had to help you, but he chose to. And now, you will do him the same kindness. "It is simply happening at different times."

Holding back a sob, Laszlo squeezes back three times. "And that is okay." You finish, leaning closer to kiss him.

When your lips meet his, you wish to never let go.

Every kiss replays in your mind. From the piano to your first time together, your wedding, the arguments, the relief after a case, near misses during said cases, celebrations, losses and every little moment in between.

Snowflakes mix with teardrops as you part.

"I will always love you, Laszlo." You whisper, wanting this to be said between you both, for him only.

His hands begin to slip from yours until they're empty of your warm embrace. "I love you, Y/n Kreizler." Laszlo mirrors your tone, watching your footprints in the snow lead toward the large portal before swallowing you whole.

The snow continues to fall, and your footprints begin to be covered. But you'll never be forgotten that easily, not by Laszlo.

As the portal consumes you, two pairs of arms support you. "We've got you, it's okay, doll." Bucky mutters, attempting to soothe you.

Looking over your shoulder, sparks of orange dissipate and your heart sinks. A scream overcomes your body, leaving you to slump to the ground with nothing left to give. That's when the world becomes blurred once more and turns into darkness.

--

Three months later. New York, 2025.

It still felt strange. The loss of him and that life is something you're unsure you'll ever overcome.

You, like many of your friends, have endured more loss than any person should experience in a lifetime. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier, nothing does.

Sitting in the living room with an almost cold mug of tea in hand, tear streaks are permanently dried to your cheeks.

"Y/n?" Zemo enters the room, hardly surprised when you do not respond nor spare him a glance.

Ever since you returned, you've been avoiding him. Zemo has an idea of why, but it's never been confirmed. You were escorted to Wakanda the night you returned, and only last week released with a clean bill of health to New York. A clean bill of physical help, no one can fix the scars on your mind with ease, not even Wakandan technology.

As an act of gratitude, you asked for them to spare Zemo for all he has done and helped with. Though you never told him to his face, you were grateful for everything that happened as, without it, you would never have known true love.

"Hello, Zemo." Your voice is still hoarse from the nightmares that plague your attempts at sleep. Everyone can hear you cry and scream for Laszlo. Usually, Bucky is the one who rushes in, trying to ease the pain like you once did for him. "How're you today?"

Nodding in response, despite the fact your back is facing him, Zemo approaches you cautiously. "I wanted to thank you, Y/n." Zemo acknowledges, nearing the sofa situated toward the large pane of windows.

"You deserve to live too." The sentence is muttered, but loud enough for Zemo to hear it. "I know I," You pause, daring to meet his gaze for the first time. "I can't go back." Tears immediately form in your eyes as you look at him.

Clean cut, hair parted differently. Even his stance and attire are unlike your beloved. But despite how much of him differ, it's still a punch in the gut to see him like this.

"How are you feeling today, Y/n?" Zemo rephrases, watching you roughly wipe your eyes with the tattered sleeves of your hoodie. "There's something I'd like to show you, only if you're feeling well enough for the excursion."

Rising to your feet with a heavy sigh, you face Zemo straight on. This time, your eyes do not waver from his. "I could use a change of scenery." You shrug, following behind him toward the front door.

Neither Sam or Bucky question the sight of you both leaving the building, instead they were thankful to see you, even if it were with Zemo. "Do you think?" Sam begins to question, noticing Bucky nod. "And do we?"

"No," Bucky answers curtly. "let him show her."

Walking alongside Zemo, the chill of winter catches you off guard as your arms remain tightly crossed.

"My wife, she always told me stories are often intertwined in life." Zemo quietly speaks up as you walk slowly alongside him. "When, when I left Sokovia, she wished me farewell like she normally would. I gave my son a hug goodbye," His voice cracks, causing you to pause and face him.

"That, that was the last time you saw them, isn't it?" Your hand rests on his upper arm as he barely nods. "What did she mean, about stoties being intertwined?"

An attempted smile crosses Zemo's lips at the memory of his wife's words. "She said there would always be people in our lives we'd meet, and for some reason, it would just make sense. I guess I'd never thought too deeply about it, until well," He trails off as you both continue walking toward an unknown destination.

"Until?" You press.

"Until you came into my apartment with a look of utter disgust, the opposite of the one my wife once had." He remarks, daring to glance over and see the visible confusion on his face. "You, you're a lot like her, Y/n. In many ways."

Words fail your lips, but you manage to hum.

"I don't expect you to say anything." Zemo adds fretfully.

"Where are we going?" You eventually question, noting the streets baring away from the liveliness of the city, drearing toward the quieter patches, peaceful even.

"It's just up ahead." He tells you, leaving you both to walk in silence toward the grass filled pathway.

Thick blades of grass and weeds were overgrown, leaving little of the original pathway exposed. Your eyes wandered the grounds, noticing the increase of angel statues, named etched in stone and dried, dying flowers planted at the bases.

Suddenly, your mind drifts back to a forgotten memory.

"This is where she'll be buried." Laszlo sighs deeply, resting his hand heavily on the cane, the other in yours. "It was all my fault."

"Don't say that, Laszlo." You hush him. "It was an accident, no one is to be of blame for this." Looking around the graveyard, many plots remained empty, awaiting a new resident to take a permanent place. "At least it is a pleasant resting place."

Lifting his head up, he follows your gaze toward the large hanging oak tree. "It is indeed." Laszlo remarks, stepping back and lightly pulls on your hand, guiding you out of the graveyard.

"Zemo," You breathe out, sparing him a teary glance.

"I won't intrude, but I thought this is something you deserved." He clears his throat, coming to a halt with you by his side. "It's the least I can do for you, Y/n." A small smile graces his lips when your eyes meet his, and an attempted one crosses your own.

Looking down, your knees become weak.

It's covered in moss, and cracked in areas. Mixtures of grey and white spread beneath the greenery that entraps it. But there, clearly etched into the stone; Doctor Laszlo Kriezler & Y/n Kriezler. Husband and Wife, lived long eventful lives. Their adventures together and apart will forever outlive them.

"He-" A sob lodges in your throat, your knees finally giving way. With Zemo's help, you cradle the mildewed grass beneath your feet as your fingers glide over your names, remaining together, forever.

"Whilst you were in Wakanda, Doctor Strange was able to find a small temporary loophole." Zemo begins to explain, remaining stood by your side whilst you quietly cry. Your palm never leaves your husband's name on the stone. "Bucky and Sam were able to visit Doctor Kriezler, inform him that you lived and will eventually be alright."

Sniffing, you can picture it now. Your oldest friends, going to meet your husband from the 1800s. As if your life wasn't weird enough.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Zemo pulls out an envelope and kneels beside you. "He wanted you to have this, Y/n."

A wax sealed, well well worn enclosed letter is in front of you. Even from here, it smells like the institute. Closing your eyes, you can see Laszlo now, hunched over his desk in the evening. Once all the children have gone to sleep, the fire behind him crackles. But you aren't there to fill the room with music or laughter. He'll be alone, writing you a letter, a final farewell.

Bringing the letter into your own hands, you sit upright. "Thank you, Zemo." You mumble, aware of his presence retreating to allow you this moment.

Cautiously, you lift the wax seal from the delicate paper to see his handwriting.

Wiping your eyes once more, you avoid splashing the ink with your tears as you begin to read his final letter to you, his love, his lost wife.

'My dearest Y/n, I know this has not been an easy journey for you, schatz, it was never intended to be. From the moment we first met, there was something in you I knew I couldn't live without knowing, even if John claimed insanity from me for allowing a woman dressed in such attire to be seen getting into our carriage; it was the least of my concern because I needed, I yearned to learn about this mystery woman. What I had not intended, was to fall in love with her. That, however, is not something I can ever regret, for it was the wisest decision I have made. Your smile, your wit, your laughter. My love, it is something I think of fondly, and I know Sara and John miss it too. We often sit in silence here at the institute, thinking back to those days after an investigation. How we'd all sit by the fire with a whiskey. You might accompany with music, and Sara may dare dance if she'd drank enough. Those are the moments I reflect on most; as you were candidly content. Your eyes would flicker with unfathomed joy which travelled to your lips and warmed my heart. I'm afraid to admit I can't bring myself to sit at the piano without you by my side. That being said, Y/n, my dear, I don't want you to suffer out there. We knew the consequences, even if neither wanted to admit such. I loved and will love you forevermore with everything, but I want you to do everything we never had the time for. Travel my love. See the world, take care of your spunky friends - they are exactly as you described them to be. If things were different, I'd say Sara might have taken some fancy (but best not repeat that.) Now, I am sure that you are aware of my burial place, one I had made originally for you. Even though I know you live on, you deserve a place here, one for us to visit. One day, I am sure my name will join yours, and that we will meet again.

Never forget my Y/n, our story is not over. It will continue again, in another life.

With all my love, yours, Laszlo.'

Crumbling into yourself, you have nothing left to voice. You hug the letter close to your chest, wanting and wishing for nothing more than it to be his arms around you. For Laszlo to whisper into your ear that everything will work out.

But he's not here. He's long gone and this is your reality of life without him.

"Y/n?" Zemo quietly calls your name, having approached one more upon seeing you curled into the damp grass as your shoulders shake.

Opening your eyes, you slowly look up at the man so alike to your love. It evokes something new completely within you as you focus on him. "T, thank you." You manage to find the words, knowing deep down that they aren't enough, no words will be enough as you look down at the letter in your grasp.

"I understand, Y/n." Zemo tells you softly, extending his hand toward you.

Accepting his help, you brush off the grass from yourself and glance back to the gravestone.

Silence falls between Zemo and you, but for once it isn't filled with tension and the unknown; it brings peace.

With the letter in hand, your thumb brushes over the wax seal before you tuck it into your pocket and face Zemo once more.

"Helmut?" You speak up, surprising both yourself and Zemo. You've never called him that, but it's embraced as he nods. "Would you like to see your family's memorial?"

Feeling his breath hitch in his throat, Zemo looks around in confusion. "This is real?" He asks in disbelief.

"Yes, Helmut. This is real." A soft smile forms on your lips, one of sure gratitude as Zemo's hand rests on his own heart. "Come on, we wouldn't want to keep them waiting."

"I, I," Stumbling over his own words, Zemo simply wraps his arms around you and brings you into a hug.

Tears form in his eyes whilst you cannot see him, but you can hear how fast his heart is beating.

Lifting your hand up, you rub his back whilst facing the gravestone, knowing somewhere, Laszlo is looking down with pride.

"You deserve closure too, Helmut. A whole new chapter awaits you out there." You mutter to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the embrace before you set off on a new adventure into the unknown. IALT SERIES TAGLIST: (sorry for making you lot wait nearly a whole year for the ending.) @zemosbaroness @fillechatoyante @country-cowgirl-101 @kpopnena @telesynths @thebookisbtr @mybisexualheartbeatsforzemo @ajeff855 @somethingthatsaysbubbles @fangirl-inthe-us @marchingicenotes7 @graniairish @lol-im-done @cinna-minseok @sapphiredreamer26 @swndmans @soxysarah92 @thehornyfemme @bloop-booop @fictionlandslanddreams

[thatoneao3author]

Nonverbal Ian

i think this is a writing request bc it's all over my blogs that i'm open to them, i just dont guarantee that I'll use them! I don't feel like writing a fic for this; however, i'm gonna do some situational headcannons for it:

okay so this is immediately in a universe where ian is autistic. i know a lot of people go nonverbal when overwhelmed but sometimes for me, it happens during moments where I'm comfortable and calm and bc I say so! this happens to ian too

so maybe after a long day of whatever ian is up to, he goes to hang out with mickey and just sorta stops talking? his brain decides that words are overrated actually

it takes mickey a minute to realize whats happening, because for a while all of his questions and comments don't require a verbal response but eventually he's like 'why are you only nodding and shaking your head'

shrug

'are you good?'

nod

'then why aren't you talking?'

shrug

it's all playful i think, like mickey's concerned at first but once he realizes that ian is fine, it's just a game of him trying to figure out what is going on

it's like bickering except ian doesn't need to say any words at all, which proves that their playful non-fights will happen no matter what in any universe

maybe mickey's weirded out by it out of worry but ian seems okay and fine and he's smiling, so then it's him just trying to understand what ian wants. deciphering little head shakes and faces and pointing that wouldn't make sense to anyone else.

if this were a fic, that would be most of it. just mickey trying his best to understand ian.

'babe you gotta give me something' *more aggressive pointing*

when ian fades back into speaking, it starts with vocal stimming. and mickey is like 'thank god you're talking again' but actually he's just humming and singing bits and pieces of songs he likes and mickey is like 'oh.'

then that becomes little one to three word phrases, which is when ian explains that sometimes his brain just doesnt wanna speak. i can't decide if he is diagnosed and mickey knows about it or if he's just genuinely convinced that this is just a quirky funny thing, but either way mickey asks simple questions and the whole thing would end with him being like 'craaaazy concept: sign language?'

okay that's all for how! feel free to reblog and add onto this if you want!

(also sorry i haven't been around, life is insane rn)

[aspd-culture]

Hey think I might have ASPD but I don't know for sure could you help me out? If not it's totally cool. I don't I feel guilt or remorse for my actions and I break rules alot, when I have the motivation to do stuff (But I do have like this extreme like Panic Attack sort of thing when I think people are going to hate me for breaking the rules and I'm going to get in trouble with them or ruin my reputation only when I think they'll find out though [even then only sometimes othertimes I just don't care so idk]) I disregard others boundaries (I used to be way worse, I think I can't remember alot of that stuff) and can get kinda rough with people physically when I'm irritated at them (This is more recent I've always been more verbally aggressive) and I think I might disregard my safety by putting myself in situations where I could get hurt but not caring. Aside from like two people I only care about people if they can give me something want and even with those two people I have to constantly remind myself of them so I don't forget they exist or disregard their boundaries. I'm almost always either kinda angry or bored (? [I have trouble recognising my emotions]) except when I'm around those two people or people I'm getting something from. If I go against my own morals I don't exactly feel guilty but more like I've lost my whole sense of self and I freeze up in a distress until I figure things out (might be an Autism thing). Anyways sorry if this ask makes no sense feel free to delete it.

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

Plain text below the cut:

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

[lythea-creation]

Great Timing - Natasha Romanoff x fem reader (Chapter 1)

summary: Natasha and you are in a secret relationship. But everything seems to turn upside down when your ex best friend Layla suddenly appears in front of your door to seek your help.

warnings: mentions of abusive relationship/domestic violence, angst, violence in general, verbal sexual assault

word count: 2.882

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

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(f/n)'s PoV

The ringing of the doorbell ripped me out of my sleepy state.

I lifted my head off of Natasha's shoulder to move to the door while she was following closely behind but out of sight.

She was on guard. It would be crazy not to be as it was almost 11 pm.

The apartment belonged to me and nobody except the team should know that Natasha was here. Attackers usually did not ring, but who would visit this late at night without saying anything?

Natasha hid while I opened the door. She would protect me without hesitation if anything happened.

“Hey”, Layla's soft voice resounded through the apartment and the empty hallway.

We had been best friends for years before she had ghosted me. Cut me off and disappeared without an explanation.

Now all of a sudden she was standing in front of my door, wearing an anxious and distraught expression … as well as a nasty bruise over her left cheek and right eye, accompanied by a split lip.

“Layla, what …?” The words got stuck in my throat. What did I even want to say?

“I'm sorry to invade like this but could we talk inside please?”, she requested.

I simply nodded and took a step aside for her to come in.

After closing the door I noticed that Natasha had retreated.

Apparently she had evaluated the situation and assumed that Layla was not a threat in any way. She knew that I would call her if I needed her.

Layla and I sat down on the couch where she spotted the two glasses Natasha and I had just been using. “Oh, do you have a girlfriend?” She seemed excited about the question. It was a stark contrast to her behavior before.

“Yeah, but it's not like it's any of your business anymore. What happened to your face?”

It hurt to talk to her after months of hearing nothing. But she had always been precious to me and hence I was worried about her injury.

“I'm sorry for bothering you … and for excluding you from my life after everything. But Joe forced me to … my boyfriend. I never told you about him. Actually when I started dating him, he manipulated me into staying away from you. He abused me … and today I finally found the courage to run away. I left as soon as he fell asleep.” Her voice was shaking.

Her story filled my entire being with shock, sadness and guilt. Maybe I could have helped her if I had tried harder and longer to stay in contact with her. But the rational side of my brain told me that it was not my fault.

“I'm so sorry, Layla. Of course you're welcome to stay. We will figure something out”, I promised her.

“Thanks. I didn't know where else to go. My parents and I aren't in touch anymore either. They were so mad at me. I can't even remember why. You were the only person I could think of to go to. I figured you wouldn't let me down. You never have”, she proposed.

I pulled Layla into a tight embrace before making her a hot chocolate.

“I need to talk to my girlfriend now. Just make yourself comfortable”, I declared and headed for my bedroom.

Natasha was sitting on the bed doing some paperwork. She immediately smiled at me.

Seeing her like that made me want to forget everything around and enjoy my time with her. But Layla needed me.

I sat down across from my girlfriend and explained her the situation.

“God … you know that I could tear that guy apart with ease, right?”, she noted.

How could she get me to smile in such a horrible situation?

“Yeah, but that's not our first option”, I shot back with a chuckle.

“You trust her, don't you? Enough to introduce me to her?”, she wondered.

I had not seen Layla for a while, but she had never given me a reason not to trust her. “She won't betray us”, I assured her.

Natasha nodded. “Okay.”

We returned to the living room together, holding hands.

“You're in a relationship with THE Black Widow?”, Layla exclaimed in awe. She had always been a superhero fan. We both had.

“Natasha is fine”, my girlfriend greeted her with a grin. “But you can't tell anyone about (f/n) and me, got it? I don't wanna put her in more danger than she already is.”

“Yeah, of course”, Layla agreed without hesitation.

Nat inched closer to Layla, letting go of my hand in the process. “Look. I've heard a lot about you in the past and (f/n) explained me why you ghosted her just now. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you and I want you to be safe and comfortable here. But if you ever hurt (f/n) like that again, I'll make sure that you'll regret it. Okay? … Great! Now we need to figure out the sleeping situation.” Her voice changed from dangerously low to happy.

The irony that she was overprotective and Joe abusive.

“We don't have a guest room”, I thought aloud.

“I could sleep over at the compound for a while”, Natasha suggested.

“What? No”, I whined and slung my arms around her neck. “You just returned from your long mission.”

“Don't worry about it. I will sleep on the couch. After everything it will be just fine”, Layla proclaimed. “I'm grateful that you even let me stay. I wouldn't have judged you for sending me away after the pain I caused you.”

I let go of my girlfriend to turn to Layla again. “I'm not holding that against you, Lay. How about I take care of your injuries and give you some comfortable clothes to wear?”

“That'd be great. Thank you”, she noted with a smile.

Suddenly I was pulled back into Natasha's arms by my waist. I could feel her breath against my neck. “Are you trying to make me jealous now?”, she whispered.

I was too busy trying to compose myself in front of Layla to answer.

“Nickname, taking care of injuries, borrowing clothes. You usually do that for me, remember?”, she added and squeezed my waist. Her teasing was a cruel payback.

I gave her a quick peck to the lips and pulled Layla to the bathroom with me shouting an apology at my girlfriend.

“You two really seem to come along well”, Layla remarked as soon as the door was closed.

“Yeah, I'm lucky”, I claimed with a bright, genuine smile while taking care of her split lip.

Layla winced from time to time but did not complain.

“Does Joe know that you left him? Did you write him a note or something?”, I inquired.

“No. I had to escape before he could notice that I wasn't laying next to him anymore”, she explained.

“I bet he's searching for you. You should stick to either Nat or me in the meantime for the case he finds you. I don't want you to be alone then.”

She nodded.

“Do you think about reporting him?”

A sigh left her lips. “I dunno. I can't proof what he did to me. He's rich and has a great reputation. I would most likely lose this case and only anger him further.”

“Just stay here for a while to give both of you space. Maybe something else will catch his attention if enough time passes”, I considered. “And don't worry about intruding. I'm happy that you're here.”

She flashed me a teary smile.

Over the next week a new sense of normality overcame us.

We had bought some clothes and other essentials for Layla and reassured her that it was a gift. She had nothing right now and Natasha and I had decided to help her.

It was great to catch up with Layla after all this time, telling us what the other had missed.

Today I had a day off. So Layla and I had decided to seize the time.

After our trip to the beach we were now cooking dinner.

Natasha was joining her teammates for a movie night.

“I really missed your dinner parties”, I confessed while cutting some vegetables.

“Maybe you wouldn't have missed them so much if you had cooked more often yourself”, she teased me with a chuckle.

“Hey! I do cook for myself! I'm just not a chef like you. And when Nat is home we usually don't cook because it's a waste of our precious time”, I enlightened her.

“Honestly she's around more than I thought. I mean … considering that she's a superhero”, Layla stated.

“She isn't taking any long missions on purpose right now because ...” The ringing of the doorbell interrupted me.

I turned off the stove and pushed Layla toward my bedroom handing her my phone and locking her inside. The key was quickly hid behind a photo frame.

Then I opened the front door to an unfamiliar man. “Good evening. You're (f/n) (l/n), right? I'm Joe, Layla's boyfriend. She told me a lot about you. Is she here?”

“Layla? Sorry, but I don't get why you're here. If she told you about me you should know that she ghosted me over a year ago”, I replied bluntly.

“Well … we had a fight and then she left without talking to me. She's been gone for a week now and I'm worried. She doesn't answer any of my texts or calls. You're the only one I could think of she would turn to.” He sounded desperate and concerned, like the perfect boyfriend. “I wanted to give her some time and space hoping that she just needed to cool off. But now I can't wait anymore.”

“I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that she's doing okay, but honestly it's none of my business anymore”, I claimed.

“Oh (f/n) … I really hoped you'd be more cooperative”, he suddenly uttered with a sigh. His tone had completely changed from friendly and worried to disappointed and cold.

He took out his phone and showed me several pictures of Layla and me at different places. The last one being of us at the beach today. He had stalked us this whole time and we had not noticed.

A heavy feeling settled inside my stomach.

Joe pushed himself into the apartment and closed the door behind him.

He casually leaned against the door. “So where is Layla? No use in lying to me, sweetheart.”

His words made me feel sick.

When I stayed silent he attempted to search for her, but I blocked his way.

“You don't want me to hurt you, do you?”, he questioned.

I gulped and yet did not move. More than ever I wished that Natasha was home.

Joe's fist collided with my cheek. The punch was strong enough to send me to the ground.

A metallic taste had settled inside my mouth and the teary eyes did not exactly help with my loss of orientation.

I stood back up and pretended to try to punch him. Instead I kneed him in the balls sending him to the ground with a pained groan.

Natasha had shown me a lot of tricks if I ever needed to defend myself, especially from men. New York was not the safest city after all. But they had one downside. The actual goal of those techniques was to give me a chance to escape.

Unfortunately I could not consider escaping when Layla was counting on me. We had to trust each other.

“I'm not letting you to her. Not after I saw what you did to her”, I announced.

“You have no idea what you're talking about”, Joe growled.

“I don't? I saw the bruises … how she flinched whenever I moved too suddenly. There's no excuse for abusing another person, especially the one you claim to love”, I shot back.

“So what? She deserved it. I was just teaching her how to be a proper girlfriend. She should be grateful”, he hissed.

“You hurt her because you're insecure. You hurt me because you can't stand it that I'm daring to deny your wishes. You're just an arrogant, insecure, pathetic abuser”, I insulted him.

Provoking him might not have been the best idea for myself, but at least it distracted him from Layla … and bought me some time.

The air was ripped from my lungs when he punched me in the stomach. I heard my ribs cracking as he continued kicking me.

Everything around me was a blur.

Joe pulled me up by my hair and looked me straight in the eyes.

I could not see him properly due to the tears. Yet I gave my best to appear confident.

“You're so full of yourself. Did you seriously think you could stand a chance in a fight against me? Your looks don't help you with that, sweetheart.”

His cocky grin was pissing me off.

“Stop calling me that”, I growled lowly.

“Oh, come on. You're hot and feisty. That's a real turn on. Of course I had to keep my girlfriend away from your tempting gay body.”

“Layla is straight and I have a girlfriend”, I spat out. It was still hard to breathe.

“I bet your girlfriend is hot as well. The thought of a threesome with Layla and you was great enough but she could always join us.”

The urge to throw up overpowered me at the mere imagination of that.

“Layla and I already had to keep her from going after you for hurting Layla. What do you think would she do to you if she had heard what you just said?”, I alluded.

“So she's the dominant type? I bet you two have a lot of fun ...”

“And I bet you can't get anyone to touch you at all and that's why you need to threaten and hurt Layla into doing it.”

My scream echoed through the apartment as pain exploded in my left shoulder.

“You should choose your words more wisely”, Joe suggested while enveloping my throat in a tight grip. If breathing had been hard before it was feeling impossible now.

“You will regret mocking me”, he threatened me before sinking to the ground with a blood curdling scream.

Natasha had broken his arm with a swift kick and caught me before I could drop to the ground.

“Finally.” I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes.

“I'm sorry that I took so long, love”, she whispered and caressed my cheek gently.

“Take him away, guys”, she addressed Tony and Steve who had been waiting outside.

Tony bombarded Joe with sarcastic comments and jokes on the way outside making the latter furious.

“You're going to regret this! I will ruin your reputation”, Joe declared.

“Oh, we will take good care of you. You should be grateful that we don't let Natasha deal with you after you beat up her girlfriend”, Steve shut him down. “Your broken arm was nothing, trust me.”

“We should let Layla out. I locked her in, just like we planned”, I reminded Natasha. “You can take care of me afterwards.”

She knew that she could not convince me otherwise and therefore put me down gingerly before setting Layla free.

Layla immediately hurried toward me and gasped at my state. “Oh god. I'm so sorry”, she whispered.

“Lay, I'm fine. Nat was here just on time thanks to your call”, I reassured her. “And now we have the proof we needed”, I added with a victorious grin as I pointed to the security camera we had installed a few days ago exactly for this case.

Natasha knelt down next to me and stroke my hair.

“Your techniques would have saved me if I could have run”, I let her know which earned me a soft smile from her. “And your psychological tricks worked even better. He felt superior and therefore acted just like I wanted him to.”

“You told us you just wanted him to confess if he ever showed up”, Layla recalled.

“Yeah, but now his confession is way more convincing”, I remarked with a grin. “You two would have never agreed if I had told you the whole plan. As if you would let me get hurt on purpose.”

“You're lucky that you're already injured and that I love you. Otherwise I wouldn't let you off the hook so easily”, Natasha claimed.

For a moment I felt guilty. That Natasha was putting her feelings for me into words, right in front of Layla, showed me how upset she was.

“Now let's get you to the compound”, she decided and cradled me in her arms.

“You know that I can still walk, right?”, I questioned with a painful chuckle.

Despite my slight protest I actually enjoyed her closeness. The feeling of safety only she could provide.

Next Chapter

[helenofsimblr]

Elita: Cat hung up and turned to my mom, with tears in her eyes, her emotions had just reached boiling point. I think calling your wife... the woman you're supposed to love, a "cunt" is pretty much the proof positive you've gone over the freaking edge.

Kyleigh: you um… ok?

Cat: Yeah, yeah, don’t worry…I'll take that whiskey now...and… I’m gonna con another cigarette too. I’m so tired of fighting with her and absorbing verbal abuse!! 

Kyleigh: shit, I... I'm sorry about what happened. 

Cat: If we don't survive it'll be a relief to be with someone who cares and is sane... I don't know why she's like this! Bob got this stuff he isn't crazy!

***

Kyleigh: um... maybe I can explain. Bob told me stuff about himself and the others. *she sighs* Maybe it'll give you some context.

Cat: You know why she's going crazy? I mean, she was always a bit jealous and stuff...but now it's like totally over the top. I just can't do it anymore.

Kyleigh: Lets sit down. I’ll try and bring you up to speed on a thing or two. 

Elita: My mom was worried sick about me of course, but there was nothing she could do, the sun was rising outside, Cat hadn't slept all night and Kali had just gone off the deep end. I think this shows my mom does have some kind regard for others though.

***

Elita: Cat sat at the table with Kyleigh and she grabbed her whiskey and lit a cigarette. She also put her phone on silent too, she was not in the mood for Kali to potentially ring back. 

Kyleigh: You see... Bob told me the test subjects for isotope 9 which is what Bob has in him...there were 5 volunteers supposedly.

Cat: Kali was a part of that originally, she was passed up for Bob. She never told me why or what the program was, only that she was pissed at him specifically about he took her place.

Kyleigh: 3 out of the 5 went utterly insane only Bob and some woman held onto their marbles

[runeterrankhaleesi]

Fuck it Imma ask for a LMMU for League of Legends.

I'm a gay trans man in my early 20s. I do freelance art, Am starting a Youtube Channel with some friends, and I have a job as a librarian at the town's centre where I live. Im 5'5, pretty chubby, and I use a walking cane because one of my legs is slightly too short.

I like Jazz/classical/lofi music, I've started a collection of teas, and I like to sew, knit, and paint when Im not doing commissioned work. I dont really care if someone shares my interests or not, as long as they're ok with me enjoying them and they arent afraid to talk about what's important to them.

My love language (giving) is acts of service, quality time, and gift giving. My love language (recieving) is quality time or physical touch.

What I look for in a partner is someone reliable, willing to listen and accomodate my weirdness and my disability, and someone who I can trust completely. I have abandonment issues and am very touch-starved, so someone bouncing once they hear I might want kids one day is something I dont want.

Thank you sorry for being so late.

[A/N: Just as you asked, darling, I consulted my matchmaker for this one. ;)]

I pair you with...

VIKTOR!

Why? Because...

I'm sure you're already aware that science and technology is Viktor's bread and butter so when you tell him that you're starting your own Youtube channel with your friends, he runs to get his hands on the nearest computer to help you. He comes and helps you set up the channel (if you haven't already) and tweaks the coding of the website itself to make it a bit more personalized for you and your friends.

As you can tell, Viktor fully supports your hobbies and interests, he wants nothing but the best for you. There once was a time where he offered to create a website where you can advertise your art and receive commissions and to this day, he stills bugs you about it, begging you to just let him do it.

He has a warehouse where he stores all his inventions and spare parts. Ever since you've said you've started collecting teas, Viktor has taken the liberty to set aside a space for you in said warehouse. He knows that it's a bit much but it's his way of showing his dedication for you. You're free to whatever you want with the free space, you can turn into a workspace, you can store your teas, your art supplies or even your finished pieces (though Viktor would rather have those framed and hanged around his workplace).

If you do decide to turn it into a workplace, Viktor would mark the space under construction as he works to build a surround sound system in the place so you can play music whenever you like.

He loves having you close whenever he works. You don't actually have to be close, he just wants to feel your presence in the room, it provides him that sense of comfort he can't quite explain. It's like he never wants to be away from you-wanting to share and spend every minute of his life with you.

Viktor loves to infodump and share his ideas (he would make sure you're free, comfortable, and open to listen first before proceeding). He'd like to hear your opinions, feedback, and critiques, he likes to take note of it to improve. He'd also like to hear your ideas as well, even helping you bring it to life.

Due to his...enhancements, he's almost all metal. It makes it hard for him to display affection, especially physical but that doesn't mean he won't try. The temperature of his metal body is near unpredictable so he settles to show his love for you verbally by words of affirmation or simple things such as calling you by nicknames.

You don't have to worry about Viktor, he's loyal and dedicated, the thought of ever leaving you has never crossed his mind. He's more than reliable, he makes sure to remind you that he's there for you always and that you can lean on him when things are tough. And sure, he can't physically give you kids but that doesn't mean you can't adopt, especially since he has thought of having a family once or twice ever since he met you.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[You were matched together by @mellonzinho]

[demonicseraphim]

yo hank's the new nice diesel busters?? yeah uhh some shit went down between my mom and brother, and while that happened all i could think of to calm myself was hank comforting me and lulling me to sleep. this is entirely self-indulgent and i apologize for making hank's entire personality wrong. tw for mentioned abuse and suicidal thoughts. i do NOT ship myself with hank at all. ——- (Aries is kneeling on the floor of their bathroom, crying softly and shaking. Hank is sitting next to them, rubbing their back in a soothing manner.)

Hank: Aries... what happened? Can you tell me?

Aries: My... m-my mom... s-she was yelling at my b-brother and v-verbally abusing him again... *sniff* Hank: I'm so sorry... has this happened a lot? Aries: Y-yes... it, it's gotten m-more frequent now that he has to d-do stuff for his Eagle rank... *sniff* I-I can only imagine how she'll be w-when I h-have to d-do mine...

Hank: Aries... come here. (Hank pulls Aries to him, and hugs them close.)

Hank: It's okay... your mom isn't near you currently and Deimos and Sanford are outside of the door if she decides to return. You're going to be okay, I promise. We're going to protect you from your mom and make sure you can sleep without disturbance.

Aries: I... I j-just don't know w-why my mom h-hates my brother...

Hank: She's cruel to him. But you're not like her. You're kind, caring... honest, funny... creative, witty... I could go on.

Aries: T-thank you, Hank... b-but... I-I know t-that I'm not s-smart at all...

Hank: *worried* H-has your mom said you weren't smart, Aries..?

Aries: No, n-not directly. *sniff* She implies it, though... whenever s-he lectures me over me not doing good o-on my homework... s-she over-explains it to me like i-i can't understand it...

Hank: Honestly... indirect insults can hurt more than direct insults. Do you want me to carry you to your bed? I'll have Deimos and Sanford watch your bedroom door as well.

Aries: Y-yes, please... b-but can w-we stay here a-a little longer? Hank: Of course. I'll help you go to sleep as well.

(Aries leans against Hank, and closes their eyes. Hank begins rubbing their back again, but slower this time. He lifts them so that they're sitting on his lap, and begins slowly rocking back and forth.)

Hank: Breathe in, and out.... in... and out... there we go, just like that. Breathe slowly, and rest yourself. Rest each muscle, starting from your feet, to your calf muscles, then your thigh muscles, then your core, stomach, and glute muscles, your arm muscles, your chest muscles, then rest your most important muscle, your brain. Imagine yourself, in a calm, quiet, comfortable place... like a library, or in a dark, damp, warm cave... where you're safe, and you're protected and loved. Breathe in, and out... in, and out...

(Hank's words echo in Aries' mind, and soon, they're fast asleep, leaning against Hank while breathing slowly and softly.)

Hank: There we go...

(Hank picks them up bridal-style, and walks out of the bathroom. Deimos and Sanford turn around.)

Deimos: Are they asleep?

Hank: Yep. That breathing, relaxing, and imagination thing worked like a charm. Thanks, Deimos.

Deimos: Thank Doc, he's the fella who taught me all that.

Sanford: Let's get them to their bed. Hank, you should stay with them in their room in case they wake up, have an accident, or have a bad dream. Hank: Alright.

(Hank walks into Aries' room, changes them into their bed-clothes, and lays them in their bed, under their bedsheets.)

Hank: Sleep well, Aries...

[spookymulderjr]

The Unmasking of the Century

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I just learned recently that what was actually going on with me. I wasn't "training to develop your alien powers" that was only half of it, I was gonna be shipped out overseas to be a weapon of war. My codename they had given me was WMD, Weapon of Mass Destruction. I was shocked, disgusted, hurt, betrayed, angry..... I was lied to by the people I thought were trying to HELP me figure out who and what I was! I couldn't do it. So my plan was to hack into every broadcasting station out there I could muster and unveil what was happening to me. With the proof and evidence I had, which was ME and my body that was a weapon. But before I could do this I had to talk to one person, the one person who understood me. The one person I could trust in telling such a secret like this, my brother Peter Parker.....

"Hey Pete, can we talk for a sec" I said.

"Sure, what's going on" Peter asked.

I bit my lip, Peter looked at me with worry cause he's seen this face before, this was my anxious face. This was the same face I made after countless heartbreaks from exes but worse. It had to come out, I just blurted it out like a verbal geyser

"Okay you might not believe me about this but you know how I go away for the weekends and during spring breaks and the summer, pretty much anytime I'm not in school, well that's because I've been really training to be a weapon of war for the humans to use, I'm a fucking alien bro! And if I don't do what I'm gonna do tomorrow on my 18th birthday I'm gonna be shipped out to fucking Afghanistan or some shit and hurt people!!!" I shouted.

"Um what? I'm sorry are you okay Angel you sound ..." Peter said before I cut him off

"If you don't believe me, then how tf do I know you're Spiderman and the only person who knows about it is Mary Jane and me cause I can fucking read minds! It's one of my powers!" I screamed.

"You know that I'm Spiderman? And you didn't tell me!" He cried.

"If I told you your own secret it would have revealed mine and I had a strict NDA when it comes to this. They're hella serious at Area 51..." I said with tears coming to my face.

Peter hugged me which caused me to scream into his arms, I have had to keep this secret for almost 8 years at this point, it's hard to keep such a secret like this to your own brother. He held me until I stopped crying. It felt like a big weight lifted off my shoulders, the first taste of freedom I had ever.

"Whatever you need to do to get out of this I trust you, as long as you don't get hurt of course. You're my sister and I don't want to see you in pain like this ever again." Peter said wiping my tears from my eyes.

"Oh about that, I'm pretty much immortal so I can't get hurt psychically, emotionally and psychologically however" I laughed, which caused Peter to laugh. He knew even when I'm going through some dark times in my life I still had to find humor somewhere in it.

"Wait that means..."

"Yeah I cannot die. Ever. I don't wanna think about it either, cause knowing I'm gonna outlive you just makes me wanna die. Which that's another thing, I CAN die, but it has to be by my own hands. The species I am is very very anal when it comes to controlling our own bodies. So we cannot die unless we really really REALLY wanted to." I said.

"Tell me more about your species then, and how are we siblings are we half or?" he asked.

I then explained to him that yes we are full blooded siblings but I don't have human DNA like he does I have alien DNA instead. Like an Apple computer working on PC software instead of it's normal Apple software. And that I'm from Jupiter and I'm the queen of the entire planet. I explained I was made to repopulate my species cause they all died from a mass suicide from being under a gross tyrant dictator, the dictator kill himself too, but the humans had other plans for me and thus I'm gonna be a weapon of war. I told him about my species the Jovians aka Jupitiarians. And more about what had happened to me through cries and anger, but he was there listening and asking more questions.

It was when the clock struck midnight and I knew it was time for me to whistleblow this entire operation. Peter was by my side during the entire thing. He helped me with setting up my video camera to hook up to the tech I got to hack into all the broadcasting stations I could find in America. I sat on a chair in front of the camera and 3....2.....1

LIVE FROM THE PARKER RESIDENCE IN QUEENS NEW YORK, I BROADCAST TO YOU SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN HIDDEN UNDERNEATH EVERYONE OF YOUR NOSES! ALIENS ARE REAL! AND I'M PROOF OF IT! AND WE ARE BEING USED AS WEAPONS OF WAR FOR HUMANS! OUR TECH HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM US JUST TO END THE LIVES OF THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT HUMAN BEINGS! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME HERE'S THE PROOF *eyes turn black and all the houses with the broadcast on their televisions blare with a high pitched ringing sound* YOUR OWN GOVERNMENT NOT ONLY STEALS FOR YOUR OWN SPECIES BUT THEY STEAL FROM MINE AND OTHERS LIKE ME! I'M NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING JUST HERE TO TELL THE TRUTH BEFORE I AM SHIPPED OFF SOMEWHERE TO DESTROY LIVES WHO DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE DESTROYED! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE AND I'M THE TRUTH INCARNATE! I AM QUEEN ANGELINA CHRISTY PARKER OF JUPITER AND LONG LIVE THE ALIEN QUEEN WHO'S HERE TO DESTROY THOSE WHO DESTROY OTHERS FOR THE SAKE OF GREED AND VANITY AND PURE INHUMANITY!!!

All across the nation, everyone watching was shocked, horrified, and couldn't believe their eyes. Was this a joke? They all thought, but the sound of the ringing and the blacks in my eyes, and the fact they all felt a sense of dread watching the broadcast said so otherwise. I had spoken my truth and it was for the world to decide to believe it or not. Peter was proud of me and he hugged me after I was done. He even told me that if J Jonah Jameson wants to talk to me about this, he'll tell him to fuck off for me.

But years had gone by, I had become stronger, everyone started to see I was the real deal. My brother became even prouder of the being I've become too. We ended up making a deal, if he sees any of the stuff I deal with going down, he's gonna swoop in with his web like "hey this guy's in your jurisdiction, gotta go deal with robbers and saving kittens outta trees!" Now at 31, 13 years later, my Hive has grown so much, I've invaded so many worlds, built so many connections to places that have no business being connected to. Everyone knows Queen Angel. But be not afraid of me, I come in peace unless you are the ones who I want to destroy. Cause as they say "there's always a bigger fish" and I am that fish.

[random-german-cat]

Okay but Malina def shuts down and goes non verbal as a trauma response. Unlike Shade, who yells and loses her mind (/notneg towards my firstborn child)

Ezra would be rlly scared when it first happens, but just pamper the hell out of her during and after

Ezra was having a rough day. He hadn't gotten much from his hunting trip, patients were needing care left and right, there was no time to wind down. Malina then offered to help cook supper, wanting to take something off of her friend's plate. Ezra was grateful and allowed Malina to help him, that was until he reached his wit's end

*CRASH*

Ezra whirled around to see that Malina had dropped a glass bowl and the pieces laid shattered at her feet.

"Oh god dammit, Malina!" Ezra snapped "I asked you to help, not screw this up!" He glared at the hybrid, who's tail instantly curled around her leg and her expression grew guilty

"This was the one thing that was supposed to be easy for me today!" Ezra rambled on and on, laying all of his frustrations on Malina. She didnt move an inch, Ezra's voice grew muffled like it was underwater. Her expression fell flat and the only thing she could hear clearly was her heartbeat and her slow breathing. She couldn't think, couldn't move, and just stared forward

Finally, Ezra had calmed down enough to realize what he did, rubbing his hand over his face

"Shit, jellybean, I'm sorry" he sighed "This isn't your fault.." he looked down at Malina and noticed her condition

"Malina?" There wasn't any response, only a blink from the woman. Ezra started to get worried as he moved around the glass, pulling Malina away from it

"Jellybean, talk to me" Ezra coaxed, but still nothing. "Shit..." he felt awful, knowing he caused this. He picked up Malina and set her on the counter, she was easy to move, but seemingly stiff at the same time

"I gotta clean up the glass first" he explained, knowing she probably couldn't hear him. He cleaned up all the glass before turning back to Malina

"Jellybean?" He asked hopefully, but the only response Malina gave were slow, long breaths and the occasional blink.

"Shit... I'm so sorry.." Ezra wrapped his arms around Malina and held her. He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair

"Y'know.. you really do make my life a lot easier, and a lot less tense.." he confessed, "You're always there to tell me something interesting, or to encourage me, or to just smile at me.. and it means a lot, jellybean. I'm really sorry that this is how I've repaid you..." Ezra went on and on, guilt panging in his soul as he talked to Malina. He did all the things he knew she liked, played with her hair, held her hands, showed her his green flame magic, and she slowly became more and more responsive. Her eyes followed the flames, her hands gently squeezed his hands

Finally she spoke "Soft hands..." she whispered. Ezra had never been so happy to hear Malina's voice.

"Thank you.." he kissed her temple, containing his excitement due to not wanting to overwhelm her right away "Are you okay?.." Malina nodded

"Just.. tired" she answered "I'm sorry.."

"Malina don't you dare apologize- that was completely my fault" Ezra said firmly, looking at Malina. "You were actually an amazing help, and I'm so appreciative of you.."

"Aw.. you're so sweet, Ezra" Malina smiled and held Ezra's hand, "I'm not mad at you.. you've had such a hard day.."

"Yeah, but the only thing that will make my day better is making it up to you.. I'm going cook you dinner, then I have a surprise for you" Ezra promised, kissing Malina's forehead

"Are you sure I can't help?" Malina asked

"You can watch, okay? I don't want you getting hurt" Ezra compromised and pulled Malina off the counter

"Alright, as long as it helps" she said cheerily, watching Ezra as he went back to preparing supper for the night.

[angelicgaming1007]

Scroll past this if you want

Just a personal thing sorry for so much personal stuff. We'll be back to our regular scheduled simping soon I promise

Friendships.. I have had 8 different groups since 2024 started have fights in them. And I wanna talk about that. Let me be clear. I wont choose a side. I'll never choose a side. Unless A. its you vs a stranger B. its you vs one of YOUR friends and you dont mind me getting involved C. Its you vs one of my friends, you're the long time friend, and they were seriously in the wrong (harassment, bullying, doxxing, etc) These are the situations ill take a side and side with you. Anything else I will not. Let me explain. Ill use random names I pull out my a** Lets say Joe and Bob are my friends. Joe has been my friend for 2 & 1/2 years Bob for 6 months. They are friends with eachother. I love Joe dearly they are like a sibling to me. Lets say I introduce Becky to them. Becky is a newish friend known her a month. You following so far? Becky and Bob get into a big fight. heres the issue: I take becky's side: Bob goes off to Joe and talks to him. Joe might end up upset with me and I lost Bob and Joe as friends or get backlash from both of them I take Bob's side: I hurt becky and lose her as a friend and get backlash. I stay neutral because Becky walks away from that fight just having pissed two people off. Shes fine, she doesn't know bob and joe, they know nothing really about her. But me? I'm left behind with the consequences. I'm the one who has to deal with the sh*t show and aftermath and can't move on. I'm the one who will be hurt by it.

and lets say Joe is also mutual friends with Robin, Rachel and Steve. Now thats 3 more friends I have to worry about losing because I chose Becky over bob. Thats 5 people I'd lose out of my life in an instant. I have to constantly play a balancing act and think carefully of my every action and word in these situations. Because I don't want to hurt or lose anyone. Taking beckys side could upend my life. This is why if you get angry I wont take your side or try to make me take your side. I'll always side against you or end our friendship. It doesn't matter HOW long I've known you. I will end it in an instant if you try to force my hand. Because you don't get how hard it is to play this balancing act between 48 different friends for 10 years. Along with many others who are now gone bc it got toxic and I had to do what I had to do.

What WILL I do in these situations: I will be neutral in public and try to calm things down I will then check on both parties privately and try to get to the bottom of WHY the fight happened then try to talk to them to get them to understand the others perspective so they will atleast be CIVIL. You dont have to be friends with my friends, heck you dont even have to like them. All I'm asking is try to keep your attitude in check with them in public. If you can't then walk away. its fine I won't be mad. Being in my group chats, my servers, my shared blogs is NOT a requirement for friendship and I never want anyone to feel pressured.

None of this means I approve or am allowing what any side has done. I do not approve it, and im not "allowing" it. Im not anyones mother or keeper. What happens between you is between you. The most I can do is try to keep it civil and peaceful for EVERYONES sake. because the thing is its not just you in the servers. Its not just you on the blogs, its not just you in the group chats and I have a lot of people to keep in mind. I'm working with what I have and doing the best I can. If Thats not good enough for you then I'm not the friend for you and you can leave at any time. I'm not trying to hurt or alienate anyone but I need you to understand the position you are putting me in everytime you verbally throw fists impulsively if you try to get me involved. This is why I highly appreciate friends like one certain friend who I will not name. because she let me stay neutral, she praised me for how I handled it despite her being one of the parties in the fight. She didn't shame me or try to force my hand nor did she direct her anger at me because she knew I wasn't the party at fault and that I was doing whatever I possibly could at the time. She has my full respect for that. And to the friends on here that have gotten in fights. Please note i do not blame you or the other party in the matter. In all the cases I have seen its been someone misunderstanding you.