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#so have the drawings and put the audio with your imagination
azsazz · 23 hours
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Hiii 👋 just wanted to say I adore your writing ☺️ I always get so happy when I see you’ve written something new 😁
I was curious to ask, what are some of your favourite modern AU jobs/roles for the bat boys (whether you’ve written about them or not)? Or just any ACOTAR characters?
CEO Rhys has been done a lot, but for good reason, it’s so perfect. He almost has to be effortlessly rich and/or in some position of power, like a prince, or a mafia boss.💰 I also kinda like to imagine him as a nepo baby set to take over his father’s company, but he breaks away or gets cut off, so with his very little actual job experience (as he was all set to inherit), he gets a barista job at a lil coffee shop. ☕️
Cass would definitely suit something physical, like an ice hockey player, or a firefighter, or a personal trainer. I could so see him being a gym teacher as well, imagine him coaching a kids ice hockey team. 💪🏽 He would SO volunteer to be a nude model in life drawing classes in his free time 😆 Though I hadn’t considered it before I read your stuff, I think he really fits a small town rancher too. I can so picture him in jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt, driving around in an old rusty faded red truck 👨‍🌾
Az could easily be in the FBI or something, but choosing something further away from his canon role, I seriously think he’d be an awkward computer programmer / software engineer nerd, or a twitch gamer, 👨🏻‍💻 with a secret anonymous OnlyFans or erotic audio patreon on the side. 😏 And I reckon he’d ride a motorcycle and tinker with it in his spare time, so might also enjoy working at a garage. 🏍️ I really love him in Midnight Muse, and think he suits a shy amateur artist / tattoo artist as well.
I also love the bat boy band idea I’ve seen a lot recently, where Rhys is the charismatic lead singer and guitarist, Az is the quiet songwriting bassist, and Cass is the energetic drummer. 🎶
Sorry it’s so long, I just love thinking about this stuff 😄
Hiiii!! Thank you so so much! I saw this message this morning but wanted to wait until I could give it my full attention and have my computer around, so thank you for your patience! 💙
Okay, some of my favorite AUs for the batboys? This is a wonderful question!
Rhys: Normally, I just think of Rhys as always having some sort of money/job inherited. So CEO, mafia, anything that puts him in a position of power, really, but i think it's mostly because those just reflect the books.
I do, however, love love love art school rhys. painter rhys. working at the local art supply degenerate rhys who still has wealthy parents but is trying to stick it to the man rhys. steals erasers and petty things from the art supply rhys. love him so much.
There's also something to be said about young adult rhys who's messing around with his little sister's best friend rhys. he gets me going too.
also captain of the hockey team rhys is a solid choice for him as well.
Cass: LOVE ME SOME RANCHER/COWBOY/SMALL TOWN CASSIAN. but, these are all very different. small town cass doesn't trust women, heart broken at a young age with the girl he thought was his forever. doesn't want to leave town, likes the ranch because its safe and its what he knows. cowboy cass or bull rider cassian, famous for breaking horses and backs. grumpy, gruff rancher cassian always gets me going tbh he's fucking hot as shit
i also always see him in a blue collar role like a mechanic or welder are the two i mostly attribute to him.
def something physical as well, we love hockey cass, rugby cass, wrestler (wwe lol) cass, dang i had another on my mind for sports cass but i forgot. sad. OH surfer cassian. jock type tho i can see him as. love the firefighter vibe for him too, he'd fill out the tight fire department t-shirt WELL LADIES and also volunteers for wet t-shirt contests. omg gym teach cass would be adorable as hell! oof another thought, contractor cassian ffs that would be so yummy
Az: Az i agree fits the FBI (stalker) vibes. i also like to think of him in finance or computer science too. omfg the erotic audio that's iconic and i'd def subscribe to that. hmmm what else could i see azzy doing...maybe something with music or writing...i could see him being a ghost writer of some sort and then one day his song plays on the radio and he's like hey i wrote that and literally no one believes him. something behind the scenes or where he can go unnoticed is mostly where i place him, tbh. honestly maybe even something military because he takes comfort in having a set schedule and people telling him what to do at every minute of the day. he'd fare well i think. perfect. operative because if the mission goes south and he gets captured he's not telling a soul anything.
Eris: idk why this thought came to my head but i was thinking about architecture but i think eris would be a fantastic interior designer lol. like i could see it. maybe i was just thinking about him furnishing az's new place and having a lil sparky. i could also see him as a lawyer too or something like that, something where he can be the know-it-all, smirking at them and looking down his nose at them...
Lucien: Architecture for sure. or professor. I could see him doing either of these. maybe even lawyer tbh, he would be good at that too, though i know he's immaculate at twisting stories and words so you gotta be careful of that.
Tamlin: poet? lol. professional gaslighter? jk i love tammy. maybe he installs security systems? haha just kidding just kidding. he's a tough one tho. idk why i added him but i guess also a musician but low-key soothing music, instrumental for sure...prob has a podcast where he just bullshits all day
hopefully i didn't rant for too long about this 🤭💙 this was so much fun though thank you for asking!
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pumpkster · 1 month
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strwberri-milk · 3 months
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a/n: cue me listening to the same secret time over and over to put me in the right mindframe for this bc I don’t have either of the cards for the AB set for this goddamn FISH – im still learning about him/specifically abysswalker raf as well bc I know nothing outside this audio so there are indeed going to be some growing pains uwu im still learning his voice but im in love w him <3
Wrapped in Moonlight
AO3 || Rafayel x Fem!Reader || Soft Smut, Mild Angst || 3, 503 Words
additional tags: accidental mask kink, fingering, vaginal sex, first time having sex [w/ e/o], first kiss [w/ e/o], rafayels acc so in love with you, i like the moon and havent ever had to write a lot of water motifs before
The dull thrumming of his heartbeat in his ears has never been louder, not until this moment here, with you.
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Your eyes look up at him from where you lay on your bed, teeth lightly worrying over your lips as you take a deep breath, shaking your head as though to shake away the words that had his feet planted firmly on the ground. You’d taken to summoning him more often as of late and even if he could, he would never reject your requests. Rafayel knew that it was dangerous but he couldn’t think to care, beginning to crave being by your side in ways that drove him mad.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you. Please, just forget I even said anything,” you begin to plead, averting his gaze and retreating further into your lush sheets. Sheets he knows the feeling of, the barely there warmth that his fingertips longed to feel, his resolve cracking every time you sleepily ask him to stay until you fall asleep.
“Your Highness doesn’t think I’d really be able to forget such a request, does she?” he decides to say instead, wanting to lean into a slightly more playful side of his persona to cope with the swell of emotions crashing down into his chest.
You stay silent and he decides to take this opportunity to step closer. His gloved hand parts the beaded curtain, your breath catching in your chest as you see the way the candle’s light faintly illuminating his face. Rafayel’s eyes are intense, something you’ve always noticed when he looks at you. All thoughts begin to cease as soon as his eyes meet yours, leaning in closer to you.
“Did you really think that I’d forget that you asked me to kiss you?”
The words hang heavy between the two of you, an unnamed but not unnoticed tension sitting on your shoulders once again. It felt like the two of you were constantly doing some song and dance, skirting around the way you both felt about each other. He looks like he’s got something more to say, watching you intently before stepping away. The clicking of the curtains gives you something else to focus on as you try to still your erratic heartbeat, hearing him draw the curtains to your room open at the same time as him blowing out the candles.
He stands in your window for a moment, the moon’s light wrapping around him so intimately you can’t help but be jealous. You shift in your bed, unconsciously crawling towards him. The sound makes him turn to look at you, hues coloured with something you can’t quite understand. You think you’ll drown in the depths of them but you can’t be bothered to care. If it meant being able to touch him, even for just a moment then you’d be more than willing to suffer that consequence.
“Rafayel, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just didn’t think before I spoke.”
And you couldn’t, not when he looked at you like he wanted to devour you or whenever he’d touch you gently to reassure you of his presence.
Silence and tension continue to colour the air between the two of you and you have a fleeting thought that this might be the last time you ever see him. You couldn’t ever summon him again, not after leaving things like this. Rafayel can feel your eyes flitting over his figure, imagines that you’re committing his features to memory.
“It’s quite the opposite,” he admits after some time, long strides closing the distance between the two of you in no time.
You find yourself being pushed back against the bed. Slowly, Rafayel pushes you to lay on your pillow, staring up at him in the moon’s light. He looks ethereal like this and you can’t imagine how you’re still capable of any sort of thinking right now.
A slight chuckle leaves his lips at the sight of your eyes widening. His hand goes to cup your face, leaning in so close your noses would be touching were it not for that infuriating piece of leather that keeps your breaths from intermingling. You have half a mind to ask him again, this time in the form of a wish to see if he’ll accept but you feel your mind go blank as you feel him press his face against your neck.
“What are you-”
Your words devolve to gasps, hands going to cling onto his shoulders as you feel him periodically press a little harder against your skin. If you close your eyes and really focus you think you can feel his lips pressing against the leather, kissing you through his mask. His breath rings in your ear, you trying to keep your gasps quiet to avoid drawing attention to your chambers.  
“Fulfilling Your Highness’ wish. Is that not what you wanted?”
You know that even this much is more than you could ever ask for, Rafayel always watching you cautiously whenever your hands would near his mask. You understand that he has his reasons for privacy and you would never ask him why but now, you’re just desperate to feel his lips on your skin, desperate to know if it’s as good as you’ve fantasized about. The only solace you get is the warmth of his body seeping through his clothes, teasing the tips of your fingers as you try not to act desperate for more of his touch.
“I can feel you holding back. Don’t tell me Your Highness is getting greedy?” he laughs breathily, the slight pant in his voice unnoticed by you with how divine it feels to be under him.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” you manage to mumble, biting back a slight moan when you feel his arm creep under your back and push you closer to his face.
“Hate you?”
The words leave his throat almost bloody. Just the sheer thought of hating you made his stomach churn, murky waters of his affection for you maddened that you could ever think such a thing. His hands tighten their grip on your body to a way that’s almost painful, looking up at you with a look that has so much want in it that it steals the breath out of your lungs.
“I could never hate you.”
His hair tickles your throat as you feel him settle against your neck, nuzzling into you and resting his hand on your waist. You try to turn to face him but the weight of his body stops you, Rafayel giving you a sound of disagreement.
“I told you already. It’s quite the opposite.”
You try to ask him to clarify, about to open your mouth when you he quickly gets up. He looks at you quickly before going to look around your room, shaking his head good naturedly at the slight furrow of your brows and parted lips. You watch him rummage through your things, getting even more confused when he returns with a strip of ribbon between his fingers.
He crawls over your body again, tilting your chin with his knuckles. You think you’re imagining it in the low light but the apples of his cheeks seem tinted red. Curious, you bring your hand up to the side of his face. You’re glad that he doesn’t seem to be flinching away from your touch. A smile graces your lips when you feel how warm his face is, Rafayel now pulling away from you slightly.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, a slight pout in his voice.
“You’re warm,” you laugh, bringing your hand closer to his face.
Your fingers brush against his ear, sure with how warm they are that he’s bright red. Your fingers trail down the curves, nail tracing the shape of his jaw down to his collar. He doesn’t shy away. Instead, his hand goes to grab your wrist, the ribbon tickling your skin as he leans in closer.
“This is your fault. You know that, right?” he scolds lightly.
“If it weren’t for you my heart wouldn’t feel like a hurricane over the ocean. Do you feel that?”
He brings your wrist over to rest on his chest, your palm resting over his heart. True to his word you can feel his heart pounding under your fingers. He presses his chest against you, brows furrowing as your fingers press against him.
“You should be more understanding, Your Highness. You can’t just do these things to people and leave them washed up on the beach during low tide. It’s cruel.”
The way he pitches his voice in your ear makes you swoon and you’re glad you’re already laying down. Your knees feel weak and you barely register his thumbs tracing a smooth line across your cheek. You’re both so close to each other that you’re suffocating in his presence.
“Are you willing to face the consequences?” he whispers into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
Weakly, you nod. With this, he brings both his hands to your face and suddenly you have your vision obscured by the ribbon he pulled out earlier. You bring your hands up to reach for it, immediately stopped by his strong grip.
“You said you’d be willing to accept it. You trust me, don’t you?”
His voice is raspy, laced with something more than just the question he’s asked you. There’s a weight to his words, something dragging down the vowels and accentuating the bite of his consonants. Your breath is caught in your throat as you wait for him to finish tying the ribbon behind your head, whimpering softly when he brings his thumb to press against your bottom lip.
Forced to wait, you try to imagine what he might do now. Your mind runs wild, barely listening to the sounds around you when you feel his weight on your body again. You reach out for him but gasp when you feel his lips press against your bare skin. The sound is indecent and you’re embarrassed you were even capable of making it but when you try to hide it you feel him bite you, squeaking in response.
“Don’t hide from me. I want to hear your voice. Don’t you think I deserve a bit of a reward for this?”
He continues to litter your skin in featherlight kisses, and you realise that his clothes don’t seem as thick as they usually are. You can feel his skin through the thinner layers, about to say something when his lips press against yours. It’s soft, barely there but the contact is enough to make your mind spin. You get the sense that he’s testing your boundaries and before he can pull away you wind your fingers through his hair, kissing him more insistently this time.
“I hope you don’t mind the blindfold, but I think it’s more exciting this way, don’t you think? This way, you’re forced to guess what I’m going to do next to you,” he breathes against you when he finally pulls back.
“You just like teasing me,” you mutter, scared to admit just how much you liked this and wanted him to keep going.
“I’m just trying to get revenge on you. You’ve been teasing me too! Don’t act like you’re innocent in all of this.”
He starts to trail kisses down your neck again, sucking gently against your collar. As much as he would like to, he can’t leave any marks on your skin. Something even semi-permanent like that seems far too cruel for someone like him to leave on someone like you. He reveres you and you can feel it in the way he kisses you, showering your body in an affection he’s never felt for anybody else.
“Rafayel – please –” you whimper, his name coming off your tongue his own siren song.  
“Please what? I won’t know what you want if you don’t tell me,” he hums, hand going to play with the fabric beginning to bunch under your waist.
He slots himself between your legs and your knees rest against his hips. You wish you could see him, look at the expression on his face. You wish you could watch him press kisses to your skin, watch his fingers tighten against you the way they are now, the way his nails scratch lightly against your skin between the slits of your nightgown.
“More, please,” he hears you ask weakly. “I need more of you. Rafayel? Please?”
He thinks he should tease you more but considering your current state and his own desperation he decides not to. Instead, he pushes up the fabric on your legs slowly, trying to see if you’ll stop him. When you don’t and instead try to egg him on by making it easier for him, he lets his hands rest on your thighs now laid bare for his hungry gaze.
“Are you sure? This is really something you want?”
The question is desperate, Rafayel not knowing if he wants you to stop him or not. His body longs to be pressed against yours, to make you say his name that prettily over and over again. He thinks he’ll die if he can’t have it, kissing lower and lower over the fabric on your chest to convince you to say yes.
He doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to fight that hard for you.
You clasp your fingers with his, bringing them to rest on the inside of your thighs. He’s glad he can’t see the look in your eyes, knowing that if he did it’d make all of his resolve crack if this is how bold you’re already being without being able to see the effect you have on him.
Tentatively, he brings his fingers closer to the heat burning between your legs. It doesn’t take him long to feel the damp spot between your legs and recognise that it’s getting damper with each kiss he gives you. You start to whine as his fingers tease your slit through your underwear, your body feeling things you didn’t know you could feel just with his touch.
“I didn’t know you were capable of such dirty things Your Highness.”
Despite his teasing words, you can tell he wants it just as much when he slips his fingers between the fabric and your body, fingers haphazardly exploring your body as he kisses your lips again. He swallows each moan you give him desperately, relishing in the whimper you give him when his fingertips start circling your clit.
“You’re the one doing this to me,” you whine, hips bucking against his palm as his fingers slip inside.
“You’re the one who started this. I’ll stop whenever you tell me to,” he mumbles against your neck.
Your moans are louder now and as much as he’d love to have everyone hear how good he makes you feel he also would hate it if your maid came in and saw what was happening. He covers your mouth with his free hand, ignoring the way it feels to have your gasps pressed up against his palm. He wants to ruin you, make you cry and scream from pleasure and have you be his for the rest of time but here, in the quiet of your bedroom he’ll settle for just this for now.
His hand stays focused, letting you moan and gasp into his palm as he fingers you. You feel his palm rest against your body, thumb replacing his finger as he the heel to rest against your core. He can make out gasps of his name when he hits a certain part inside of you and decides it’s too cruel to keep your mouth covered like this. You immediately moan his name, quieter this time to avoid being heard by your staff.
You clench around his fingers, the hand not bracing against his chest going to grab his wrist. Rafayel gives you a breathy laugh and you bury your face against his neck, continuing to moan and plead for him quietly.
“Please – Rafayel – I –“
Your own words are cut off quickly by your impending orgasm, biting into his shoulder to try and hold back your noises as your hips arch into him. The bite of your clothes against your skin as you writhe does nothing to impede the feeling of his hand on your cunt, Rafayel’s voice gently talking you through your orgasm. Stars litter the space of your eyelids, Rafayel’s arm coming to hold you against him.
When you finally come down you find yourself placed carefully in Rafayel’s lap. He’s taken off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants, gently tracing shapes on the skin of your lower back. Your blindfold is still on but you don’t doubt that the hard planes of your bed is Rafayel and when you hear his voice come from just above you you know you’re right.
“You’re awful to me, did you know that?” he muses, groaning slightly when you reposition yourself slightly and brush up against his cock.
“Stop that! I can’t believe you right now.”
“I’m just trying to get comfortable! This is just as much your fault as it is mine,” you say hazily.
You sit up on your knees, carefully putting your arms around his shoulders. You reach behind yourself to touch him, shuddering at the gasp he gives you against your arm. You feel his tip prodding gently against your opening, sinking down slightly. When you hear him gasp again you know you have him where you want him.
“You really want this?” you ask him huskily, mirroring his words from before.
Your hand rests on his cheek and you can feel him nod, continuing your slow descent onto his lap. It takes you a second to adjust to his size, hugging his neck tighter as you moan. His hands come to rest on your hips and he shifts slightly to create a better angle for himself. This makes him sink into you just the slightest bit deeper, you whimpering pathetically as he starts a slow, languid pace thrusting into you.
“Rafayel!” you gasp, hands bunching in his hair as you let him dictate the pace.
“Shh, shh. It’s alright, Your Highness. I’m here for you. Don’t worry – I’ll make you feel good. You know I will,” he mutters into your ear, continuing his gentle grind into you.
For the umpteenth time you wish that you could see him. For now, you have to sate yourself with his pretty moans and gasps, the way he feels inside of you and the affectionate kisses he peppers across your skin. Thanks to his pace you feel yourself coming to a slow build of your orgasm, his soft words of praise and coaxes going straight to your cunt. He groans every time you clench around him, the feeling of your pussy finally being wrapped around him making it hard for his mind to stop swimming.
He angles his hips to find that spot inside of you that makes you see stars, bringing a hand down to your clit despite how much he loves holding you because he knows he’ll love the feeling of you cumming around him more. When you give him a sharp gasp he knows he’s found it, thrusting more insistently. You grind against his pelvis, not wanting it to be over too quickly but still desperate for your release.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” Rafayel asks, pulling you out of the depths of your stupor just barely.
“I can feel it. You’re getting so tight around me – if you squeeze me like this then I’ll cum too. It’s okay, just let go. I told you I’d make you feel good, didn’t I? You’ve already done so well. Just a little bit more, okay?” he coaxes, the sound of his voice tipping you over the edge.
You cum with a broken cry of his name, holding onto his shoulders tightly. It takes him just a couple more strokes inside of you to cum himself, unable to think of anything but filling you up and claiming you as his in this small way. The two of you sit together, coming down from your shared high. You whine a little about still wearing the blindfold but that’s quickly quieted by him kissing you again, telling you that it’s part of the condition for him kissing you.
Your breathing slows together and after a minute he feels you becoming dead weight. He laughs to himself when he realises that you’ve fallen asleep on him, carefully moving you aside to lay you back down on your bed. After cleaning the two of you up and tucking you into bed he gives you one final kiss to your forehead. You make a small noise of complaint, Rafayel kneeling at the side of your bed to take one last look at you for the night. His hand rests on your cheek softly, pretending that this didn’t drastically change everything.
“I love you. Sleep well, my Princess,” he whispers, the far away sound of waves lapping on a shore the only witness to his words.  
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totheblood · 1 year
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i keep thinking about infatuated ellie.. like LOVESTRUCK, nervous, giddy ellie, and ik you’ll do her so much justice
a/n: ik this is from weeks ago but i'm writing some headcanons and would appreciate if u guys could send some more! i also need to note the ai audio i made of joel was inspired by my talented friend saz who had the idea to make a joel ai and have him and ellie interact, her fics are amazing and i believe she will be making her own ellie fic w a joel audio so pls folllow her and read her work! her @ is @dyk3ification also i wrote this in whole foods before my class so if it sucks... thats why.. ai audios at the end! also pls interact w me and my work it makes me so happy ily bye!
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lovestruck!ellie headcanons
ellie is 100%, certifiably, and downright a hardcore lover to her core
when she’s crushing on you she is the type to take anything you do as a sign that you like her back
she’d be like “no, dina, but when she held the door she looked back at me and smiled… who does that?”
“polite people?”
or if you’re sitting next to her in class and she drops her pen, the minute you reach down to pick it up for her she’s imagining your future together
she would just secretly pine after you for as long as she can, way too nervous to work up the courage to ask you out
she’s the type to journal about you, draw you, think that it was weird, and rip it out of her journal
but she’s too sentimental to throw it away so she’d just tuck it into a box in the back of her closet
she’s so observant about the things you do
just by sitting next to you, she knows your favorite movie, your favorite place to eat, and your favorite flowers
(she writes all of this down in case she one day works up the courage to ask you out)
when you do finally start talking she would go out of her way to go to the things you invite her too
for example, you invited her to a GSA mixer (something she wouldn’t attend on her own) at a time when she was working
she called out sick just to attend and talk to you for a total of fifteen minutes
it’s totally worth it to her cause you hugged her twice (she counted)
she does insanely stupid shit like going out of her way to get you your favorite coffee from this very specific place half an hour from campus.
“oh, ellie you didn’t have to do this. thank you so much! let me pay you back.” you’re reaching into your bag looking for your wallet
“oh, it’s no big deal i was in the area,” she was nowhere close to the area. “and it didn’t cost that much,” it was an 8-dollar cup of coffee. “maybe we could go together sometime?”
ellie doesn’t even realize she’s asked you out by the time you’re agreeing with a huge smile plastered on your face
the date goes well, so you ask her on another and another… and another
before she knows it you’re her girlfriend and she can’t shut up about it
she’ll try to manipulate conversations just so she can say the phrase “my girlfriend”
she’s at the movies with jesse and dina and with every preview of a horror movie shes like, “oh, i think my girlfriend would love this movie.”
the barista at the coffee shop makes her latte too sweet and she’s all like, “i wish my girlfriend was here so i could give her this.”
she’s also the type to call you and find out where you are just so she could deliver you her very sweet latte that she knows you would enjoy
she’s also the type to brag about any accomplishments of yours to everyone
“oh yea, my girlfriend won some academic award. she’s such a genius.”
she’s the type to whenever you’re together she would just be staring at you and you’re like, “what?”
“nothing… you’re just so pretty. i’m so lucky.”
there’s not a day that goes by that she doesn’t make you feel like you put the moon and the stars in the sky
all of her weekly calls with joel have become her ranting about how much she loves you
“ellie, all you do is talk about this girl. when am i going to get the chance to meet her?”
“soon, i hope. i think you will really like her. she’s fuckin perfect, joel, i swear.”
“so i’ve heard.”
ai audios:
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verimuru · 1 month
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Red on Maroon A 16-page IWTV (2022) fancomic about the vampire Armand and journalist Daniel Molloy visiting the Mark Rothko retrospective in 2024 Paris. Content mentions & warnings: The comic depicts Daniel’s internalized ableism. Rothko’s suicide is acknowledged but not discussed in detail. There’s angst, talk about kink and lots of fluff. Louis is mentioned as well as Daniel’s daughters. Marius is not named but is hinted at. The comic is set up in post-Dubai-interview time and based on my knowledge about s1 of AMC’s IWTV with sprinkles of book canon. Some notes about the comic below:
As with my last comic, I am not a native English speaker, so I hope you keep that in mind when reading <3 trying my best here meow meow
The Rothko retrospective can be visited until 2nd of April of 2024 in Louis Vuitton Foundation. I visited the place in January, so the comic’s surroundings are a mix of memories and some image searches, but in no way fully accurate. Since visiting Paris next week is probably not an option for most people, the foundation has a very cool free app, where you can listen to an audio guide about Rothko and paintings in the exhibition. I mostly used their app as a source for this comic, so in case you want to learn more, go here: https://www.fondationlouisvuitton.fr/en/events/mark-rothko
 I listened to a lot of Morton Feldman’s Rothko Chapel -album while making this. So put it in playing in the background if you’re into that sort of thing. Link to the playlist on youtube
Since I am Finnish and I found out that one of LVF’s first exhibition had some Finnish painter’s work, ofc I had to include them… Page 14 has Schjerfbeck’s “Dancing Shoes”  and Gallen-Kallela’s “Kullervo Cursing”.
Ok finally some headcanon stuff: in my head, while writing this comic, I imagined Daniel having accepted the dark gift from Armand, but both of them wanting him to live as a human as long as possible to enjoy the benefits of a… mortal body. :’D Since, you know, vampirism is forever anyway, so why not enjoy the variety of bodily fluids, body heat, aches and weirdness of aging? While having a chronic illness is shitty, his life is not, and while his disability marginalizes him, there’s a perspective there, a person living and enjoying things, allowed to take space and feel his thoughts develop from these changes (that also affect over 6 million people around the world with Parkinson’s).
After finishing the comic I am not so sure if Daniel is going to be turned into a vampire after all. So your guesses are as good as mine, would love to hear your suggestions, hehe!
I wish we knew more about Daniel’s daughters! I just came up with something here because I wanted to draw them and wanted to see their dynamics as a family.
I have now read the Devil’s Minion part from Queen of the Damned as a separate short story and appreciate the TV show’s changes to Daniel even more. I can’t wait for S2…..
My sincerest thanks to @anaid-queen for being a test audience, my informant and such a cheerleader the past week <3<3<3
Hope you enjoy xoxo
SORRY I POSTED THE WRONG IMAGE FILES FIRST WAHHH I had to repost ;_;
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kandavers · 9 months
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Kandavers Nation, I’m very sorry to say, but this Art Theft thing has been stressing me out a good amount lately... I used to feel very Happy and Safe being able to post artworks without the need to put a large/noticeable watermark on them, but now I’m embroidering my username onto the characters’ clothes and everything, and though it’s a Cool and Fun Idea, it really is actually out of spite. As a result, I feel like the Love I put inside my Art has plunged significantly because of it :(
I’m not saying I’m quitting Art or going to stop Drawing Welcome Home content or anything (Although I actually considered it for a second...), but, once again, I am Kindly requesting you to report this thieving channel. And one more thing you can do for me is go onto each of their reels/videos and comment asking them to at least give proper credits to the artists they stole from or take the videos down. Mention the artists, if you know them. For example, "this art is originally made by kandavers! this account is a repost account so please stop supporting them and support the real artist instead!"
PS. PLEASE DON'T ATTACK THEM! Just kindly tell them to take the video down, okay?
i feel like if a lot of people comment smth like that, the more likely for it to surface at the top of the comment section and more ppl will see
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The pure disrespect they have for me is unreal. They post shorts with no captions, no nothing, and get tens of thousands of views they dont deserve. And not to mention... the poor choice of audio... and overall extremely low quality editing... It makes me sad. There was no justice for me.
I would usually have no problem with comic dubs or edits, or anything, but please please please ask me first and have the basic decency of properly crediting me!
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And someone even had the gall to reply to my post about an art reposter and say I'm the bad guy for wanting to get the videos where someone stole my art taken down. I literally can't with these people.
"What did they even do to you" Umm... They stole my art? This person with the gacha life Wally x OC pfp wanted people to report me for wanting to take down a repost account. I can't do this anymore 💀 They probably don't realize that if I ever stop drawing, half of the repost channel's content will be gone. Literally. Imagine defending reposters and then insulting my emoji usage too. (This is why I hate minors /hj)
Usually I wouldn't pick fights or escalate things when I don't need to, but this is genuinely upsetting me and I literally filed a takedown to YouTube so that the reposts will go away.
In the meantime, I think I'm going to need a break for a couple of days to gather myself again. However I managed to cook some art for you to enjoy over this weekend! Hopefully that will fill your Kandavers Art Needs while I am away.
Thank you for your help! And see you soon.
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blossomthepinkbunny · 10 days
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Vivzepop will always be the biggest issue with her own show if she doesn't change. And i'm not saying that because I desperately want to shit on her but rather because it's so clear that her attitude is what made Hazbin Hotel be so dissapointing after the long wait. The pilot released four years ago and Viv had these characters for much longer than that. One could assume that with this much time on her hands she would have a concise plan for how a series of her story would play out (I can imagine that having an own show is a dream for lots of creative people out there). And I get that that plan might get screwed up by a shorter episode count then expected, but she should be the one who knows her story best and who should know what stuff could also be cut out. The first season of Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly overstuffed with characters and plot that it completely looses the main premise the show was originally pitched with (the idea of a hotel were sinners are redeemed. As it is now the hotel is really not important at all). People have talked endlessly about how Viv can't handle criticism and it really sucks because criticism is one of the best ways to improve your writing, drawings, music etc. Without criticism you won't refine the thing you're working on in a meaningful way. Of course it feels bad when you put something out there you wanted to share and then people critique it, but that's part of pretty much every creative journey, or atleast it should be and Vivzepop shouldn't get a pass from this just because she doesn't like it. And there are great shows, movies or books that are rarely or almost never criticised. But the artists behind these works probably went trough years of honing what they do by being criticised for the stuff they put out. And I don't want to say that Vivzepop didn't work hard to make Hazbin Hotel, but it is hard to claim that she improves in her craft, when everytime someone says they don't like her show she throws a hissy fit. She wants the same reactions that these other amazing pieces of media get without ever listening to criticism. Which she sees as a personal attack rather than a tool that could help her to achieve the same level of writing prowess the creators behind media like that have. She believes she is already on the same level as them, just because she basically shuts anyone out who disagrees with her. There's this clip at the end of a Drew Gooden Video which I think sums up the situation with Viv pretty good (the Video is called "Leaving the YouTube Bubble"). He is talking about Lily Singh and her talk show but I feel like a lot of the stuff he says about handling criticism applies to Vivzepop as well.
(you might have to turn up the audio).
Unprofessional behaviour like that might be excusable when the creator is pretty young or they are interacting with publicity for the first time really. But neither of that applies to Viv. And Hazbin Hotel isn't just an indie animation pilot on youtube anymore. It's now a fully realized show created with a pretty prominent studio on a major streaming network and it should be held to the same standards as other shows or movies alike (not saying indie animation or animation on youtube doesn't have a standard but with more budget and support, there's obviously going to be different expectations for the show now). There have been issues in Helluva Boss and the Hazbin Hotel pilot ever since their release which could've been handled with more time and the new show. But Vivzepop shows time and time again that she isn't willing to listen to people who criticise her, which could actually lead to her show getting better. I don't like Viv or her work a lot. I think she is incredibly unprofessional and she has done her fair share of questionable or problematic stuff, which often leads to issues in her shows. There have been some characters I like, some songs or scenes that were pretty well done, very cool animation and an actually interesting premise on paper in HH and HB. There are things that make me come back to these shows to watch the next episode. And i'm obviously passionate enough about these shows to make whole posts about what I think was done badly and what could be changed. But for the aspects of HH or HB I enjoy, there are soo many more problems I have with it. Problems that won't go away unless Viv stops seeing every criticism as a personal attack. Because if Vivzepop doesn't stop acting like her writing is some unreachable stuff that needs no changes I don't really see a point in assuming that these shows will ever get better.
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foone · 1 year
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Robots in temporary bodies. You agree.
Their gorgeous humanoid chasis, packed full of the latest noctua servos and the Samsung sensor package, is sitting on a bench somewhere at the repair shop. The whole damn main bus got completely fried by that EMP they got off the exploding transformer (not the Optimus Prime kind), so it's going to be at least a week before it can get rebuilt.
So now they're in the body of some toy you had gotten for your birthday a couple years ago. They barely come up to your knees and their hands don't have thumbs. They keep complaining that they only have visual and audio sensors, so they feel half-blind (once you have radar you never get over losing it) and they're constantly worried about crushing anything they pick up. You get a phone call at 2am and have to go rescue them from the bathroom. They accidentally closed the door behind them and that's the one door in the apartment you haven't replaced, so it's big and heavy and made of thick wood. Their little hands couldn't reach the doorknob.
You ask why they were in the bathroom with a smile, and they explain they needed to clean off their treads because they spilled coffee creamer on the floor. These damn hands can't grab anything.
Their job offers them a loaner body but they decide to stay on medical leave for now. Body swaps are a big hassle and no fun to go through, so they don't want to do any more than absolutely necessary. Besides, they'd just barely be getting up to speed in the loaner body by the time they were ready to switch back out. Plus they know all the loaners are those budget model combat drones. They don't want to wear a body like that. I'm sure someone wants to look like "draw Arnold Schwarzenegger from memory", but it's sure as fuck not them.
They'd tried on one of those early in their career, and it's not just the dysphoria of looking so completely different from your mental image of yourself, it's also the change in how people treat you. Yeah, if you're a cop, maybe having people flinch when you walk in the room is a good thing, and maybe it's good that most people instinctively don't want to even try attack you. But they're not a cop, and even if they were, they couldn't handle looking like that during downtime. Maybe some people like making everyone in their life scared of them. Everyone from their partner to the guy handing them their coffee... But people who like that aren't the kind of people you want to be or hang out with.
Besides, metal and motors and servos has a distinct strength advantage over muscles anyway. If you want to be able to lift a car over your head with ease, you don't need to look like a bodybuilder to do it. So it's even more obvious that the only reason you would look like that is because you either really like that aesthetic, or you want to intimidate people. And you know they are in neither camp.
They ask to cuddle one night. They don't need to sleep and they don't have the sensors to enjoy it in this body, but they want it anyway. It's not about the sensor experience anyway, it's about the intimacy and the closeness. You put up with getting poked in the chest by their square edges, and if they their current form could cry, they'd be at serious risk of rusting.
You get it. You fortunately don't have to worry about how it'd feel to spend a week without your body, but you can't imagine it'd be fun.
A few days later, you wake up to the smell of maple syrup. You start to get out of bed when they burst in the room, wearing only a cute "fdisk the cook" apron. They've got pancakes and waffles and coffee for you! Breakfast in bed, to celebrate getting their body back.
While you're sitting in bed with them finishing up your breakfast, you ask what happened to the plan for you to drive them to the repair place, since their previous body couldn't exactly work the controls of your old car, even with the wireless link? They took a cab, they say. Their body's repairs finished up at 5am and they didn't want to wait around until you got up, they were just too excited.
You ask about their previous body, the temp one? Oh, there was a minor accident. See, they were still getting used to having all their main body's senses and strength back, so it accidentally fell of the trunk. At 15,000 feet. While doing Mach 1.3 over Arizona Bay.
They promise to buy you a new robot toy. Maybe one a little... More adult? It'd be just as annoying to be stuck inside when their main body is out for repairs, but at least they could have SOME fun with you while on medical leave. You're firm on the "no creepy sex dolls" front, though. FINE! but they want at least opposable thumbs for the next temp body. You make the obvious crude joke at why they need hands that can grip, and their cheeks go gallium-arsenide-red with embarrassment. You ask if they're having cooling problems again, their face feels warm. They push you over onto the bed, laughing and telling you not to tease them.
The maple syrup goes everywhere. Somewhere downstairs your laundrybot wakes up in annoyance, already annoyed at all the extra work they're going to have to do.
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bambi-kinos · 2 months
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I just came across your analysis of However Absurd and thought it was lovely. I'm curious, as someone who thinks John and Paul had some kind of romantic or sexual relationship, what is your take on The Lovers That Never Were? Is he using the word "lovers" to mean "partners"? I have always interpreted it to mean that Paul knows there was something there but it never happened. Every time I start to be convinced that they were together in some way I think of this song and the devastating way Paul sings it in the demo and the heartbreaking fact that he still felt it that intensely 13 years after John's death.
Oh wow thank you! The server had a lot of fun discussing that, if it's good it's because I had a little help from my friends heheh (─‿‿─) ♡
I ended up writing a massive novel in response to all this so I hope you enjoy reading it heheh. For server members, I've pulled some quotes from my previous Discord essays on this topic so you'll see some stuff that you've read.
tl;dr - I don't think "The Lovers That Never Were" contradicts the secret relationship theory at all! I think it compliments it very well actually.
In order to get into All That, I will outline how I perceive what their relationship was built on and how they reacted to it. I should note that I don't consider this definitive. It's important to remember that we all have unique interpretations of John and Paul because of our experiences and our personal POVs. There is no single answer until Paul decides to tell us what happened and/or Sean publishes John's diaries (written and audio). Until that happens, we are all forced to look at the same material and draw our own conclusions which will naturally be shaped through our personal perceptions. Some of us are older and are much closer to the original culture that John and Paul were raised in; some of us are younger and grew up in a much more LGBT+ positive environment. This naturally has an impact on how we interpret John and Paul's relationship.
I say this because I know my POV on John and Paul is a bit different from everyone else's. I'm a historian by training but part of being a historian is the understanding that you will never fully understand the events as they happened because your personal viewpoint and inherent bias is simply too strong. But that's okay because this is a part of humanity that we all share, yeah? With that understanding LET'S GO!
Paul My view on Paul is that he's always understood that he's different from other men. I doubt he could put a name to it until very recently. Paul has synesthesia, he's bisexual, he connects to music in a savant-like way, he's neurodivergent which is why he takes criticism so hard, and all of that would still be true even if he didn't have left over emotional issues from his mother dying the way she did + his fraught relationship with his father.
Keep in mind that circumstantial evidence points to the idea that Paul orchestrated the meeting at the fête! He realized he had a mutual friend with John in Ivan (who is to say that he did not meet Ivan at a QM performance and had that mental realization there?) He went through Hot Girl Summer before and after the fête, wanting to be fucking fit so that he wasn't embarrassed to meet John! I did the same thing when I had a crush as a teenager!
So with all that in mind, imagine this: you're Paul McCartney. You met John Lennon barely a year after Mary died. You turned 15 on June 18th, 1957 and met John at the fête on July 6, 1957. At some undetermined point before this garden party you saw a beautiful boy on the bus and began riding it obsessively hoping the Teddie boy would get on it. You followed him to the chippie and stood in line behind him…allegedly because you thought "oh wow he looks so cool." Marky Mark thinks (and I agree) that you may have even followed John to at least one Quarry Man show before the fête. Is this 'normal' behavior? Or is this the unhinged behavior of a teenager with a massive crush? The kind that comes about when you see a cute boy with red hair, and red is the color you associate with happiness, and then you find out that he plays guitar just like you and you follow him around until you see one of his performances and he's so good he knocks you back and then someone says "hi Paul, I didn't know you liked music!" behind you. And you realize that it's your friend and that you can meet the boy you have a crush on through this friend. You just need to lose weight and grow your hair out first.
When did Paul first see John, anyway? Before he turned 15 I'd wager.
I submit the idea that Paul has been in love John Lennon for his entire life. It will be 67 years of love when this July 6th rolls around. John was making a name for himself, he was known around town as "that Lennon." A minor celebrity like we’ve all had in our hometowns. Paul loved music. Before the internet you would go to the town square to hear a band.
Paul did that. Saw John. Pursued him with intent. When John went to Gambier Terrace to be with Stuart, Paul made a nuisance of himself showing up at their parties and playing the proto-version of "Michelle" in front of the girls…and John.
I love you, I love you, I love you That's all I want to say Until I find a way I will say the only words I know that You'll understand
I don't think that a 15 year old Paul McCartney would explicitly label his feelings for John as 'love' or a 'crush' but I do think that's what happened. When you're a teenager, a crush can express itself in many different ways. I used to have a big crush on a girl who was a volleyball player at my junior high school…that expressed itself as intense admiration. I even told one of my friends that I thought she was 'really cool.' It wasn't until later that I realized that I had a crush on her.
But I think that Paul has always known that he's 'different' and that he wasn't like other boys while growing up. Part of his touchiness about his looks comes from being bullied but I also think that he's a lot more self aware than he pretends to be. I think he realized relatively fast how he felt about John (maybe once John picked up with Stuart and Cynthia at art college.) I think he carried that with him for years hence his anguished response to being jilted in Hamburg and how furious he was at John for running off to Spain with Brian. He didn't realize it immediately but once it sticks to you then it fucking sticks. I think that Paul has done a lot internal wrestling with being a bisexual man and what that means for him and that he has been wrestling with it for decades. I think he was fully in the grip of that wrestling as he and John's friendship began growing and Paul realized what was happening to him. He does enjoy women but I also think that he felt it was necessary to pursue them heavily as a young man to camouflage himself.
I don't think a day has gone by since 1957 where Paul has not known what he was. What exactly that means for him…is up for interpretation. That's where the gray area is. But IMO Paul has almost always known that he's sexually attracted to other men and that John woke this in him. The big question for Paul is what he should do about it.
John There's been a lot written about John and his sexuality that I won't rehash here but truthfully I think John was in a similar place to Paul in knowing that he's always had a sexual preference for other men. John was a lot less comfortable about it though. Having unprotected sex with his girlfriends was, IMO, John trying to subconsciously engineer a situation that would "fix" him via an accidental pregnancy necessitating a marriage.
Of course that didn't do anything because it never does. John still felt chemistry with Paul when they met at the fête, with that quote about them "circling each other like cats." IMO John felt something immediately -- it's not entirely clear what -- though I don't think it "love at first sight" like with Paul. IMO their friendship, while still rooted in that chemistry, developed very naturally for John and he got to enjoy a platonic relationship with Paul before he put it all together. I say this because John saw Paul as a kid, not a peer, and that this endured for their lives in Liverpool pre-Hamburg. I struggle to imagine John or Paul deliberately inciting sexual or romantic contact during that time period aside from the group wank sessions (which were really trolling sessions from John.) Like, when Julia died, John went out and sought peers at art college like Cynthia and Stuart, other students his age. John and Paul bonded over losing their mothers and Paul has that quote about pranking people with the "oh yeah…my mum's dead thanks <3" bit but it also seems like John didn't want to be around that all the time. He lost his Uncle George and then his mother, he was starting to think that he was a death-curse on men in his family and that he brought suffering with him. He wanted to be away from that so he took a vacation from music to get a chance of scenery. Which meant putting Paul in a place of competition with Stuart and Cyn but I don't think John was thinking of that initially (though he exploited the situation later.)
Then Hamburg happens and they run wild. I have an entire meta about this that you can read here but I genuinely think John did not see Paul as a full fledged adult and potential sexual partner until they were in Hamburg in the red light district. I think that something happened there that we don't know about, that it's tied up in Stuart deciding to be with Astrid, John jilting Paul, Paul saying "fuck you I'm done" and getting a job at the coil winding factory in Liverpool after being deported, John tracking Paul down and spending weeks (probably) groveling and then giving Paul an ultimatum to come back to the Beatles. All of that screams 'I just realized I'm in love with my best friend and I'm freaking the fuck out' to me lmao.
John and Paul Of course something else changed after that too and John and Paul ended up becoming so close that even the Liverpool squares around them noticed. I think that whatever was going in their relationship, it started here. In the place where John and Paul were equally distraught with each other, the future of the band was uncertain, and Paul wanted a sign of commitment from John so that he didn't feel like he wasted years of his life. And of course John always felt compelled to be the man Paul wanted him to be so he treated Paul to a vacation in Paris which was so life affirming for them that it stayed with them for the rest of their lives. IMO the Paris vacation was explicitly romantic for them.
I think a switch flipped in 1961 and they went from "messing around" to "there's something there." It erupted in Paris and they showed each other more understanding and care then they expected from each other. John did sexy pin up poses for Paul in a bed that they shared; John remembers how the French held each other in their arms and just kissed each other, lovingly; Paul felt that he discovered the answer and that all those big name philosophers had nothing on the self realization he came to inside himself. Paul even took a photo of John that high lighted his package! Thanks to @louiselux for pointing this one out:
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The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing. — John Lennon, Playboy interview 1980
“We were like Paris existentialists. Jean-Paul Sartre had nothing on us. Sod ‘em all - I could write a novel… It was all inside me. I could do anything now.”
Paul McCartney, Anthology
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Something happened in Paris and it wasn't just them getting haircuts and John buying Paul milkshakes. There was commitment there. And then the spell comes over them again when they return in January 1964:
The first night, John and Paul stayed in their suite, listening to records and reading fan mail. George, who had been signed for 100 pounds a day by the Daily Express to write of his experiences in Paris, went to a nightclub in the Place Pigalle.
Back in the City of Light, John and Paul slept till three o'clock in the afternoon. That much everybody agreed on.
Quote by Vincent Mulchrone from Daily Mail: George Harrison was astir early, but John Lennon and Paul McCartney slumbered on until frantic photographers forced them at lens point into the Champs-Élysées.
Derek Taylor (a British journalist) wanted to know why the Beatles slept so much. "My office wants to know what they're doing in Paris, so they'd better be doing something."
Love Me Do by Michael Braun
But I know what you're thinking. "What the hell does this all have to do with these two songs?"
And my reply is to keep a few things in mind:
Paul takes criticism and slights incredibly hard, possibly overreacting in some places and letting them overwhelm him mentally.
He never got over Barcelona, he never stopped resenting Stuart and Brian, he never got over John pulling the rug out from under him regarding the order of their names in the song credits. He contemplated committing suicide by smothering himself while he was in Scotland recovering from John leaving him.
John Lennon had a baby with a woman in the middle of all this. Julian Lennon was born April 8, 1963, conceived in July 1962, less than a year after Paris.
However Absurd & The Lovers That Never Were I listened to "However Absurd" and "The Lovers That Never Were" in that order. My immediate reaction is that these are both the same kind of song: they are both expressing sadness and frustration with John. This is a common theme with Paul's post-1980 John songs. What I find interesting is that they depict different though related gripes regarding John. In "However Absurd" Paul is expressing his longing for a cottagecore fantasy romance with John and then expressing frustration at John mocking him for it:
Ears twitch, like a dog Breaking eggs in a dish Do not mock me when I say This is not a lie
But in "The Lovers That Never Were" Paul expresses a different gripe: frustration that John won't commit to him and "anticipating" the break up that he secretly knew was coming ever since 1963 when John abandoned him and his own son to play patty-cake with Brian in Spain:
I hang patiently on every word you send Will we ever be much more than just friends? As for you, you sit there playing this game You keep me waiting
When all of the clocks have run down All over the world We'll be the lovers that never were
For as long as the sun shines in somebody's eyes I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies For as long as the trees throw down blossoms and leaves I know there will be a parade of unpainted dreams
And I know dear, how much it's going to hurt If you still refuse to get your hands dirty So you, you must tell me something… I love you Say goodbye or anything
All of the clocks have run down Time's at an end If we can't be lovers we'll never be friends
John's penchant for disregarding Paul's feelings and even weaponizing them against Paul; the dashing of Paul's cottagecore dreams that were made and solidified in Paris; the fact that John, no matter what his intentions, could not get his shit together and commit to Paul no matter what he may have felt. These two songs are not contradictory to one another. Paul's idea of "commitment" looks very much like what he had with Linda and John in 1967: sharing a home, sharing a bed, being together every day, preferably somewhere green and remote. Exclusivity. Remember that Paul deliberately sabotaged his relationship with Jane Asher by nailing a woman in their bed when Jane came home, knowing perfectly well that he was breaking their exclusivity agreement.
That IMO, is what makes someone a lover and not just a friend you have sex with and secretly pine for. No cheating, or at least your agreed version of it. No disrespecting the relationship. Continuously being together. What did John do instead of this?
I think that Paul started out his "relationship" with John carrying high hopes and then watched them crumble to dust, over and over, because John simply did not take him seriously. He got Cynthia pregnant, he ran around on Paul with Brian, he had the nerve to flip out on Jane Asher when Paul brought her around when he was the one who couldn't stay faithful to Cynthia.
My hot take is that these songs demonstrate that Paul simply could not imagine John ever truly committing to him and treating him as a true partner. The homophobia and yes ~society~ is in there too but Paul was happy to flout this when it came to just about anyone else, traipsing all over France with Fraser and Mal. The difference is that he flat out didn't trust John. Being jilted for Stuart in Hamburg loomed too big in his head. Cynthia and Julian loomed too big in his head. Brian and Barcelona, realizing that John would happily betray whatever agreements or understandings he had with Paul simply to screw Paul out of a deal, loomed too big in his head. I think in particular its Barcelona that made Paul think John didn't value any of their professed ideals. John broke Paul's heart years before Yoko came along.
He didn't trust John. Fatalism is easier than taking control of your own life sometimes, and in Paul's mind there was no reason to believe John was genuine. Like, Paul knew John very well! He had very good reason to think that John was simply not serious about him. And John, no matter what his intentions were, proved that correct over and over and over and over.
So ultimately, I think that's what these songs are about. The melodies don't necessarily reflect this when I listened to them but I think that "The Lovers That Never Were" in particular is juxtaposing bitter wink-and-nod lyrics with an oddly perky tune. It's Paul laughing at himself for ever thinking John was willing to commit. He's mocking himself because while he allowed himself to get swept up in the dream of a possible genuine relationship with John, he knew deep down that it would go the way it did. That John would find a reason to get tired of him and abandon him. And then when Yoko came along, that's exactly what John did. Paul fatalistically accepted that the time had come and John met Paul's low expectations of him.
The Weight I don't think John and Paul necessarily planned to have a secret relationship. It seems more like they bundled the sexual/romantic stuff into their "thing" where it was just part and parcel of who they were and what they did. "It's only gay if the balls touch" etc. At some point that changed but Paul became convinced early on that it wouldn't work out so he didn't acknowledge his own secret desires and dreams. There was no roadmap between him and John about where they were taking this exactly and how they were going to make it work. He had sex with John and even engaged with romantic actions with John, hoping against hope that something would change and he would be proven wrong, but then John would be careless and Paul would collapse into hurt.
And oh yeah: Paul never, ever discussed any of this with John Lennon. He never told John how hurt he was because he didn't want to put up with John's derision. He felt devalued and lost and in typical Paul fashion he chose to ignore this for years and never bring it up, forcing it to come out in bizarre nonsensical actions when he inevitably boiled over. Why would he choose to confront it? He made sure to set up several safety nets to catch him! Jane and the Ashers, striking out on his own with "The Family Way" score, rubbing John's face in his escapades with other males as a way to go 'see, I don't need you just like you don't need me. How about THAT?'
I don't think John ever intended to hurt Paul as badly as he did. He thought that if Paul was upset about something then he would know via their ~telepathic connection.~ I think that he deliberately overlooked warning signs because he felt intensely guilty about certain actions he took (God only knows which ones) and that he helped himself not see Paul's hurt. I do think if he had the slightest idea of what was going on in Paul's head then he would have changed tactics immediately out of fear of losing Paul forever. But at heart John was a coward and if he didn't want to see something was wrong then he wouldn't see it unless something forced his hand. Like say, having his former best friend/ex-lover look him in the eye and go "I can write new songs" and kill The Beatles in a court of law. (And of course once he realized what he had done, years after the fact, it was too little too late. He couldn't take it back. How do you make up for inflicting that much hurt on someone that you supposedly care for? This paralyzed John for years.)
This was obviously a huge mistake and I think it was one of the landmines that blew their relationship up. Paul allowed his distrust and bitterness to overwhelm him. He should have been honest with John about his feelings; maybe not immediately but when they were able to look back with some perspective. Paul should have realized that their relationship could take heat. He should have trusted John more and if he had then John could have risen to the occasion. Everything could have been different. No more "I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies." No more "Do not mock me when I say/This is not a lie."
He even expresses this in a third song, one that IMO puts this entire thing into perspective and ties these three songs together with a neat bow. "This One":
youtube
Did I ever take you in my arms, look you in the eye Tell you that 'I do?' Did I ever open up my heart And let you look inside?…
Did I ever touch you on the cheek Say that you were mine, thank you for the smile? Did I ever knock upon your door Try to get inside?…
Please take note of the bolded "Tell you that 'I do'!" Paul's deepest regret with regards to John is not trusting him more. He wishes that he had opened up to John about his hurt and how he angry he was that John was devaluing their relationship. That he wanted to commit to John but that he was scared John wouldn't say 'I do' back.
From John's POV he's just being John; he's looking out for the band. God knows he tried to be what Paul needed him to be but he got mixed signals and inconsistent behavior and Paul's ice queen behavior frustrated him to no end. This resulted in an endless circle of "fuck you/no no no, fuck YOU/well fuck you then!/fuck you" that ended up killing what they had.
But John is guilty in this too. He never made himself accountable to Paul. He didn't explain his actions. He acted rashly and selfishly and then was shocked when it blew up in his face. He didn't consistently act like he loved Paul. He took Paul for granted and told himself that he was doing the right thing, because changing your behavior is very very hard. He didn't let Paul in when it mattered.
Did you ever take me in your arms Look me in the eye, tell me that 'you do?'
As Paul grew up and he started to come to grips with the "What happened" of it all, maybe he realized that he had procrastinated. That he put off what mattered most because he couldn't bear to make himself vulnerable as a young man. Maybe he was waiting for a perfect moment to open himself up to John knowing perfectly well it would never arrive, a common delaying tactic for insecure and avoidant people. Not admitting that the perfect moment would never come and that he had to extend trust to receive it in return.
If I never did it, I was only waiting For a better moment that didn't come There never could be a better moment Than this one, this one
I think he's still angry at John for multiple betrayals, slaps to the face, and devaluing the specialness of their relationship and their affection for each other. But I also think that Paul is angry at himself for not trusting John, for not working harder at their relationship. He also delivered multiple betrayals and slaps to the face to John, feeding John's insecurity and fears of abandonment. Making a mockery of their relationship and how special it was. Paul has been doing public penance for this ever since John died, which snapped everything into perspective and he finally realized the full scope of his own screw ups.
Because it took two to destroy a relationship this intense and this special. If Paul did not know that before...
Well. He does now.
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kame-writes · 10 days
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Concerning the media overlords au:
First of all: I love it! Thank you for sharing the idea with us <33
Second: Does Alastor live in the tower with the other Vees? And does Alastor still move into the hotel? If yes, on a scale of one to absolutely how sad/pissed/jealous is Vox after receiving this info?
3. I'd like to imagine Velvette's fingers are constantly itching to get ahold of that handsome deer man, who doesn't know how to dress himself properly or trendy, and give his wardrobe an upgrade. Could you imagine this happening? (Maybe with lots of alcohol involved. So that he would at least temporarily let her experiment with his clothes. Bonus points if she is able to take picture too. Vox would obviously make himself some copies for.. private reasons...) Do you see my vision?? Can you see it??
4. Can Vox convince Alastor to do more audio features within their network? Like podcasts or interviews and the like? Or are they just screams as well? (I recently discovered a podcast about cooking, where each week they talk about one ingredient and explain a recipe with it. I think this would fit Alastor's preferences very well.. tho the ingredients might not be as commonly used now that I think about it... anyhow... now I can't stop thinking about Hannibal and Alastor hosting a food podcast.. oops.. sorry, but not really)
5. You mentioned that Husk still works in his casino, if he isn't needed. Do you have any headcanons for Niffty's whereabouts?
Anyway that's all for now! Have a lovely day/night! <33
p.s. Sorry if this ask is intrusive. For some questions it's pretty clear that I've already imagined something for myself that may or may not fit with your vision of this au. If you feel like I overstepped, feel free to ignore this or send me an alastor_fuck_u. gif :D
Im am very happy to have questions asked! You have no idea how many ideas i have and dont know what to do with xD
I'd love to see other peoples headcanons and ideas for this universe, if anyone does anything for it then please tag me so i can see ^^
This is gonna get long so I've put it under a read more
2: No one is really sure if he lives there or just works there. He HAS his own suite in the tower, but he's not always there when they go look for him, and not being able to find him is very a common occurrence, made more frustrating because he refuses to carry or awnser the mobile phone they forced on him. He hangs around in the common areas like the kitchen and living room sometimes. And if they do manage to rope him into something like a movie night its a huge hassle, because he will insist on a black and white or silent film if he HAS to engage with the tv, and Vel and Val hate those.
The whole top of the Tower is dominated by his large Radio tower though, its slightly seperated from the rest of the building, suspended above it with a staircase/ladder to enter the hatch. Valentino is usually not brave enough to check there for Alastor.
Its the same with the hotel. He does move into his own room there, but goes back and forth a lot, and doesnt have a schedule. Vox tires to pretend hes fine with it at first but often ends up the hotel to be a pain in the ass to Charlie, and getting kicked out by the staff of Alastor. Hes convinced himself that Alastor will lose interest sooner rather than later, and the others just tune out his whining at this point. No one buys it when he claims he didnt even notice Alastor was gone as soon as the Radio Demon gets back to the tower.
3: I may be planning to draw this haha He does let her dress him up ocassionally, he has a few differant suits he's approved of and kept, but does wear his original the most the time. Velvette has a line of 'Vintage chic' clothing that partly started as a way to get Alastor to agree to changing his 'ratty ass old man style' by appealing to clothes that were updated takes on his era. He still very rarely leaves the tower in anything but his own usual attire.
He does on rare occasions allow photos to be taken of him by the vees (and once, later on by charlie, under strict instructions that she keeps it to herself) but no video. And none under any circumstances are allowed on social media. He has blown up a few phones that have attempted, both the Vees and employees.
4: Alastor has agreed to be on a podcast a few times, but its rare, and only if its somehting hes really interested in talking about. It's one of the few modern things he approves of since its just a version of a radio talk show. Same with interviews, he keeps them even more extremly rare, and the mystery of the radio Demon keeps sinners in fear more than him being in the public. Vox always wants him to do more since the ratings sky rocket when Alastor features.
When Alastor has done an interview it is with his back to the camera, and sitting in a large wingbacked stupidly over the top ornate chair, that hides him from being seen, except maybe the top tuffs of his ears and antlers. And he doesnt reveal much about himself when he does. The chair is partly to hide him, and partly to stop the equitment form glitching too much. He likes to pulls faces and makes gestures deliberatly made to make Vox falter and look stupid on camera, since hes the only one who can see him in that chair.
He has teased on his own radio show that one 'lucky' sinner may get the chance to be on both a guest star on his radio broadcast AND a livestream if the mood takes. Valentino had to inform him that what he's referring to is called a snuff film
5: Niffty gets moved to the hotel pretty much full time once Alastor gets involved, Husk is a part time employee, but ends up spending less time at his casino as time goes on.
Valentino is happy Niffty is gone because she creeps him out, she ocassionally hung around his studio during work hours, especially if theyre doing a scene with 'bad boys'. Vox isn't bothered. Velvette is not happy, especially that Niffty is reduced to a maid/janitor for the hotel, and makes that very known to Alastor. Velvette loves Niffty, they are chaos sisters and work on very sketchy sounding potions together, and gang up against the boys.
Niffty is also a great seamstress herself and brings her designs to Velvette like an excited child showing off their latest art project. Almost none of these get used, but Vel has fun forcing models to parade around the studio and work in something Nifftys made, they often include bugs and bodyparts, Velvette finds this halarious.
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captainwholecake · 2 years
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May I have a headcanon for Ace, Law and Luffy react to having a s/o who is a smart scientist???
a/n: Law would be into it tell me otherwise
warnings: Ace and Law being into it with no context given what so ever
——
Portgas D. Ace
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* someone please tell me where this is from exactly because it’s so fucking cute I love him 🥺🥺
This himbo of a man would absolutely be into it
He would think of it being fucking cool
Absolutely wil brag about how smart his s/o is too
Strongly into the lab coat
most likely would try to get his s/o test shit on him and they would be like NOO
like that child having a knife vine/meme type of bullshit
I imagine it would like dexters lab situation with dexters sister being ace and all
Probably be in the corner when his s/o is working on stuff
the small part of me who loves seeing this man sulk is in tears rn
Marco and Thatch definitely had to physically hold him back so he doesn’t bother his s/o a few times
Thatch would want some science action to see if would make his cooking *chef kiss* level like isn’t already
I believe he steals his s/o lab coats
Trafalgar Law
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* y’all see that tiktok of someone saying every time they draw laws hands they want to you know to put c*m coming off his fingers and its to the CONNOR! military sounding audio or whatever ? Anyways
Couples who science together say together
HES A DOCTOR HE DOES HALF THAT SHIT ANYWAYS
Would still be really into it tho
Probably because I see him being really into trying to use him doctor shit on his s/o and it not working because you know but despite that he’s really into it for some reason
Law and s/o definitely joined forces for certain things like idk meds
he started wearing lab coats and shit because of them
AJDJEJD I’m imagining him talking to Rosie or some shit in this head going see what you did to me you bastard you got me
Penguin and Shachi definitely tease him for this
(Looks up shachi to make sure I spelled his correct) (sees what happened post wano 🫥🫥)
Bepo just confused and only ikkaku of all the other members knows whats up (SHES A QUEEN OKAY)
I genuinely don’t know what else to say OHHH
Do you think he would tell his s/o about his white lead disease
Monkey D. Luffy
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* the moment I find where this is from its over for you bitches
this himbo but not the same level as his brother would think it would the coolest fucking thing in the world
LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME IM WRONG
Chopper and his s/o are besties no context needed
*loud banging fist on table* Do you think he would wrap his hands around his s/o’s waist or you know something like that and ask them everything but in a really polite way because he’s genuinely curious about it ????
I DIDNT PLAN TO SIMP FOR LUFFY IN THIS LISTEN TO ME ON THIS PLEASE
I feel like every one on the crew would be surprised expect for robin and jimbei (that reminds me I need to repost a reel I saw on insta related to my robinxfranky agenda)
Wears his s/os lab coats for fun (like wearing your s/os jacket you know)
AJDJD IMAGINE during the time Law was with them after punk hazard and hes sees Luffy wearing one and is majorly confused
He’d probably think he was going crazy then nami or someone explains to him the situation
I feel like I made Luffy’s more like Ace and Ace’s more like Luffy with how they would act
Uhh their brothers so it doesn’t matter
All around, mans would love his s/o and their profession for multitude of reasons
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m1d-45 · 1 year
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Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.
Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!
Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.
So he decides to test something.
Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.
His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.
He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!
His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.
They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.
He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.
After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.
He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.
-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)
oh….. he’s so soft…..
xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.
when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.
the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.
you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.
the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.
you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.
“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”
you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.
you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.
the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.
you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.
you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.
your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.
“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”
the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.
you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….
xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.
you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.
who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.
xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.
you…
he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..
xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.
he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#sibling anon#bird!xiao shenanigans#btw he’s pretty in character#you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is#also! let it be known that i too like fluff!!#< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now#dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight#post* whoop#post-valentines day sadness#this got WAY too long#forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have#writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts.#i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS#had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike.#anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice…#the vibes….. immaculate….#TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK#THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL#FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY.#the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally#i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it.#ugh.#it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY#hate. >:(#also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do#ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP#whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work#fuck it we ball
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candycane969 · 6 months
Text
✨🎧🌆ROTTMNT DONATELLO HEADCANONS🌆🎧✨
made by me! candy! :3 no major spoilers
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A quick guide!✨
💜 - Supported by canon (things that are pretty sure out there, maybe not confirmed 100% but yeah)
❤ - Kind of supported by canon (things that happened in the series that miiiight lead to some other stuff)
🧡 - My source is that I made it the fuck up (still trying to fit it into the character tho)
⭐ - Not sure if I'm taking this headcanon or not, but I do think It's pretty neat
💋 - Kinky! DISCLAIMER: Ive always seen the rottmnt boys (and April) in the age group from 17 to 19 and thats what I headcanon them as (as it is my own age group!). Ive seen the show and was fucking sure theyre my age and then a month or two later I was slapped in the face with thier actual age lol. I dont support any pedo shit, I also dont think minors can consent. Just putting it out there
Lets go!🌆💜🎧⭐✨
The 'Tism
• 💜 I think Its pretty fucking obvious that this boy is autistic, pretty much everything in the show supports this.
• ❤ Donny's headgear also works as noise cancelling headphones! He's often overwhelmed by background sounds and his gear makes it easier for him to live his life (either on missions or just spending time with his brothers and/or April). He still loves blasting his music on the highest volume tho. It's different when you consent to hearing your jams then when several people are talking at once and youre going crazy.
Tagging as kind of canon because he might have audio sensory issues because of his autism and you can reraly see him without the damn googles.
Different stims
❤ Foot stomping
❤ Hand flapping
🧡 Repeating a song/part of song over and over (yes, even if it has no words)
❤ Spinning on chairs
🧡 Pacing around the lab/the lair
• 💜 He knows ASL! Though It's never said in the show why he learned it, I believe that because he goes nonverbal often. Everyone in the lair can sign a bit because of that, but not everybody is too good at it. Donatello can communicate in ASL fluently.
Gender
• 🧡 Donatello never really felt connected to being "a men" and categorising things as "for boys" and "for girls" always seemed dumb to him. Shortly after Leo's coming out as a trans men (SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON) he went to talk to him about his gender experience. After some thinking and digging, Don came to the conclusion that he is in fact nonbinary. He still uses mostly male pronounces but always appreciates gender neutral pronounces coming his way.
Sexuality
• 🧡 While realising his own gender he also figured out that he doesn't really sees gender that seriously in others either. Men or women, its pretty much whatever to him. He doesn't like to label himself much when it comes to his sexuality, he accepts reffering to him as a pansexual or bisexual.
• 🧡 When it comes to dating Donatello doesn't imagine himself with anyone, really. He finds himself attractive, but doesn't think anyone would fancy him in a romantic way. He's not interessted much in dating either way. But he doesn't exclude dating someone in the future. It's just he won't go out of his way to look for love.
• ❤/🧡 Its obvious Don is a men of science, he's a genius when it comes to coding, math, engineering, I would say chemistry as well. Thats the field he feels the most comfortable in, but he loves learning new things in general. As long as there is interesting knowledge he can obtain, he will be there, soaking it like a sponge. He likes listening to info dumps, and probably listens to long ass video essays and/or podcasts.
• 🧡 Don likes to learn about others people hobbys and takes interest in learning about it. He likes showing others that he cares about something, even though Its something totally indifferent to him. For example, he knows lot about art making process from Mikey (Angelo even made him paint with him a couple of times!) even tho he doesn't really likes drawing and/or famous artists. No many people appreciate his work so he wants to show his appreciation to others.
• 💜 He is pretty low empathy most of the time. It's hard for him to relate to others, and can often feel like someone is overreacting. It's also challenging for him to put his feelings "out there". Which often makes him look unloving or unfriendly. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves his brothers even though they bother him most of the time. And he loves April as well (though she never really troubled him much). He never really thinks that his low empathy is a flaw (more often he thinks about it as a blessing) but there rare are moment when he feels helpless because of it. He is glad that his family knows that he truly cares about them (and accepts any effort he puts in to express his feelings, even if it seems small).
• 🧡⭐ I've seen people headcanoning Donny as a baker and honestly I like it a lot. Cooking is Mikeys domain, and it suits him well, as it allows a lot of freestyling and just overall feeling. Baking and pastry making is very calculated and one miatake can ruin the whole thing. It reminds Don of engineering in a sense. Also baking is an easy way to get love and appreciation from his family because, cmon, he just made the most angelic fruit tarts in the whole universe, of course they're going to praise him. It also works as a stress relief. When feeling stumped and/or overwhelmed over a project or a situation he'll make something easy like brownies to get his mind of it.
• 🧡 He's very sentimental. He loves receiving gifts and will cherish and use them (even if he doesn't like it). He still has every "gamers dont die they respawn" Tshirt and every "dont fuck with my brother he was born in october and has autism" mug. Sometimes he REALLY wants to throw something away but god damn it this is painting Mikey did when he was ten and is just five splats of paint and thinking about him somehow finding out and crying about it might destroy him forever.
• 🧡⭐ This bitch reads fanfics, thats it. It started when he was around 13 or smth with Atomic Lass x Reader and now he knows all the fanfic lingo. He still might read something from time to time and writes very long and well written comments (with constructive criticism).
• 🧡 Speaking of which, Don writes perfect sentences while texting. All the correct spelling and punctuation. He also communicates with emojis and gifs like a millenial.
Food, TW: drinking!
• 🧡 He has a rather strong head, you cant make him drunk that easily. But when it finally happens, youre in for a ride. Shutting him up is near impossible, he will talk non-stop but with much less eloquence then while sober. Its extremely easy to make him laugh, so Leo absolutely loves it. He often looses track of what hes saying and starts completely different rant. Overall a chaotic mess. Really fun to witness it at least once. His beverage of choice is either fun cocktails or beer (tho rarely and/or only with some kind of juice because he doesn't like the fizziness on his tongue).
• 🧡 And that takes us to Donatello that hates fizzy drinks. He hates carbonated beverages, no matter if its cola or champagne. The feeling on his tongue and in his mouth makes him really uncomfortable. When there is no other choice but to drink up some bubbless, he leaves it open for as long as he can to get rid of them. His brothers despise him for that.
• 🧡 He doesn't like weird food combos either and is rather picky. When ordering food Don sticks to what he knows not to risk an uncomfortable texture touching his mouth. Texture is the most often reason for him not liking a specific food. Donnys pretty strict to preparing food as well (the way he does a thing is The Correct Way and no other exception is acceptable). Also he puts milk first so his cereal doesn't get soggy.
• 🧡 I feel like he likes fruit juices in boxes and fruit mousses but this is pretty random 🤷
• ❤/🧡 He wears contacts! We've seen little Donny with glassess, so I assumed he wears contacts now. When he knows he will be spending all day in the lair (for example because of an injury) he still has a pair of glassess he uses. And yes, he tapes them to the head. Because he rarely ever wears them, he never came up with a solution for not having ears and needing glassess.
• 🧡 ABSOLUTELY hates smoking. Will go on a rant if he sees someone he knows smoking. He absolutely despises the smell and WILL take it out of someones mouth/hand and throw it away. Appreciates the fun smells of vapes but still hates them. Will call vapers losers (maybe not exacly in these words but he will for sure).
• 🧡 Really good at makeup, but not as good as Leo is (ANOTHER SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON). He spend years perfecting his eyebrows of course. He also wears eyeliner because serving cunt is important even on the battlefield. From time to time you can see his nails painted as well.
• 🧡⭐ While being flustered or simply distracted he stutters a lot, mostly in a way of repeating whole words or parts of a sentence ("Its good because- Its good- Its good because I um- Its good-")
• 🧡 Enjoys taking very long baths, and actually prefers them much more then showers. Can stay underwater for a rather long time as well!! Being fully submerged calms him down a lot and its overall very relaxing for him.
• 🧡⭐ Ive seen a lot of takes that without his battle shell, he is really flexible (due to having a soft shell). And I like the idea. I think, that before sitting infront of a screen (or a desk in general) to do his work for several hours he stretches deeply so his back won't be so sore later. Also a reason to draw Donny in yoga poses and thats always cool.
• ❤ Makes up shit to fuck with his brothers. Like just spreading misinformation and gaslighting them for shit and giggles. Or to get them to leave him alone for a while. Also will gaslight them if they somehow find out that he was lying ("what? you must have heard me wrong then 🙄💅")
• 💜/❤ Loves singing and dancing!!! Aint the best singer (tho I love his songs in the show Im kissing him as we speak) but is a gorgeous dancer! He finds it incredibly fun and feels fabulous while doing it. Also Im pretty sure dancing counts as stimming so add it to the list. Dances solo like 90% of the time but really enjoys dancing in pairs (dances with April a whole lot when they get the chance!).
• ❤ He rarely laughs out loud, but when he does it is loud and messy. A good joke can make him think about it all day and continue laughing for a long time. Not my og take, Ive seen this headcanon before and I love it so so much :3
• 🧡 From all his brothers, he kind of wishes to be human the most of them all. Its not a big big wish, he does think of himself as very unique individual and takes pride of being a mutant. But sometimes while hanging out with April he can get lost in his thoughts of "what ifs". Maybe in the process of making a cloaking accessory.
• 🧡 His handwriting is god-awful. All scribly and fucked up like Doctors writing. Unfamiliar eye would not decipher a word out of it, but Don knows exactly what everything means. But he mostly writes digitally.
• ❤ Dons dislike of hugging is canon, but I do believe he likes being touched on his head and face (head pats, cheek rubs, scratches). He enjoys hand holding when it's appropriate as well.
• 💋 Im headcanoning the boys to go through mating season once a year (except mikey cuz he small) everyone at a different time. It would be similiar to an ovulation but much more horny (with also fever symptoms). Don would be the second after Raph to get it. While in heat he doesn't go feral or anything, but after a few days stops working because he cant focus on his craft. Waves of sudden temperature changes (mostly high heat) with really horny thoughts and hypersensitivity to pretty much everything...yeah not the best work environment. He spends his  most intensive days closed off in his lab or room because he really doesn't want his family to see him like this (the rest of the turtles are in thier rooms during thier mating time as well for the same reason). Also add being possessive while having a SO, and also veeery easy to irritate.
• 💋 Donny takes on a more submissive role while being intimate, even though he loves to be in charge all the time. But he isn't a bottom either, I would put him perfectly in the middle as a switch (more leaning on that sub part tho).
• 💋 His biggest turn on is smell. Like someones natural smell, no perfumes and all. He likes to snuggle in the crook of the neck and take it all in. This becomes cranked up to eleven during mating season, as he absolutely cannot stop sniffing. Would love his significant other to leave him clothes with thier smell on it and sleep and/or snuggle with it.
Might add more later but thats all for now :3💜
Hope you enjoyed it⭐✨
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cupcakeslushie · 1 year
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Hello! First off, just wanna say that your separated au is amazing and your art just brings me to life (sorry I'm on anon, I'm shy)! But I did wanna say your recent picture about the brothers helping with Donnie's hallucinations and disassociations is very well thought out. Both my wife and I disassociate and my wife has visual and audio hallucinations while I suffer from paranoid delusions. Typically it depends on the person with how to go about it but I am very much like Leo where I will just tell her to ignore it and give reassurances. Sometimes I try to make it funny (because they are frightening at times) and I pretend to fight the hallucinations and tell my wife that her fears are valid and I acknowledge they are real to her but they are not actually real. Which soothes her cause she likes the reminders. Again it depends on the person! But I can't help but find it funny/sweet to imagine the brothers doing the same!
Thank you so much for the kind words and sharing! This makes me so so relieved to hear that Donnie’s story has a true feeling to it. I’ve been so happy to hear from a few different ppl now that my AU version of Donnie is really connecting with them!
I do have to admit, I’ve been so worried about falling into harmful tropes. I can kinda get carried away with drawing horror and gore and especially these last few pages of my comic I’ve felt like I had to go through a few drafts and tone things down with each one lol 😅, but no matter how much trauma I will put him through I do still wanna be authentic with Donnie’s depiction and daily life. I know angst is not everyone’s cup of tea, but that’s why I have those little moments as well, to give everyone a breather. These boys needs some dang rest sometimes, just like everyone else.
(And don’t ever feel bad for being on anon! Unless ppl are using it to be mean, anon is a great feature!)
Hope you have a great day! ❤️
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thehypedbuddy · 1 year
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If you don’t mind me asking, could you tell us more about V! Tangle? I love all the old and new art of her and want to know more
I guess this is a good excuse to give the skeleton of a story that I have It starts off with a mission gone wrong, some type of explosion due to Eggman shenanigans causes a building Whisper was in to collapse in on itself, Tangle is able to see Whisper moments before she believes she's crushed under the building. Few moments after the dust settles, others who were along on the mission find Tangle frantically trying to dig up the rubble, borderline breaking her fingers, she only manages to find Whisper's mask and cloak. The mission itself was a success, at a believed cost. Tangle blames herself, thinking she wasn't fast enough or just stood there like an idiot or something along those lines. Leading her into a dark headspace, of course her friends try the whole "It's not your fault", dun work. Tangle takes Whisper's mask and cloak and runs off into the night. She dawns the cloak for comfort and she essentially goes on a tirade. Midway through tearing a facility apart she happens upon the device you see her wearing, a "Power-Absorber/Amplifier" As I imagined it. Against better judgement, wears it and tears her way out. Enter an encounter with Metal Sonic, at first she's outclassed until the device manages to activate in the scuffle, causing all the stored up energy to blast into her, allowing her to overpower and rip Metal's Head off. The device essentially sends her into a fit of mania, with an obsession to avenge Whisper at all costs, thinking that she failed her, and she'll do anything to right that wrong. Somewhere along the early line Tangle stumbles into Surge, they brawl, at first Surge beats her around until she uses electricity, it gets absorbed, allowing a second wind. Tangle then simply brute forces Surge into using more of her power until eventually grabbing Surge by the throat and forcing the power transference herself. Now armed with Surge's electricity and speed, she resumes her crusade, that's how she gets a lot of the scars. During a "rest" (collapsing) she finds a chaos emerald nestled and hidden in some nearby bush (or something idk). The device seems to draw energy from the emerald, so she slots it into the device. leading to a power burst, which brings a new thought into her head. She need more power in order to avenge Whisper, to make sure nothing stops her. So she begins hunting the emeralds so she can get stronger. She fully dawns Whisper's mask, pretty much putting aside her claustrophobia, just dead set on her warpath. Speaking of the mask, it flickers on at some point and begins to playback the visual and audio data, which reminds Tangle of Mimic. Now she completely turns her attention to finding Mimic and ending him. All of her shenanigans don't go unnoticed by sonic and co of course as they are actively looking for her. They have several encounters over the months this takes place in, they don't really get far into conversation before Tangle runs off to continue her crusade. Tangle eventually finds Mimic and nearly kills him as planned, but is stopped by Sonic and co. They try to tell her that "Whisper wouldn't have wanted this" which seems to send Tangle into a fit of rage. They eventually just take Mimic and hoof it out of there.
After fights against friends, they plan to try to basically gang up on Tangle to try and snap her out of it. Mimic is used as bait, it works, when she arrives everyone is shocked that she has 6 of the seven emeralds. All against one, during the fight, the device grows more unstable, Tails surmises that, just like with Surge, Tangle will burn out and collapse. After a a bit longer it looks like that happens, Tangle sputters out and becomes still for a moment, before a massive burst of energy explodes out from her, shocking her back into the fray. Shadow (He's there also) Also brought along a chaos emerald and tries to use chaos control. It basically goes like this. "CHAOS CON-" "-Trol" Tangle says from behind as she shocks him with her tail. Omega just straight up blasts her head on that send her back. Everyone looks on worried Until a shockwaves bolts out, Tangle managed to retrieve the last emerald and slotted it into her chest, causing an essential bootleg super form. She rushes over to Mimic, she punches through him only to reveal that it's a hologram, and he's not actually there, this sends Tangle into a delusional fit of rage, causing a massive burst of energy, knocking everyone to the ground. She picks Whisper's mask back up, places it on her face, and walks off. A search team was sent out to the scene that started it all, and lookie who they find. Heyo it's Whisper, she isn't dead! She's recovered and sent to emergency treatment, the news is immediately passed on to everyone. New mission, get the news to Tangle, which, you know, isn't exactly easy at the moment. But Whisper and her wisps are alive, and recovering. Whisper wakes up along with her wisps, they catch her up to speed which is basically like hitting her with a train, They enlist the help of the Wisps to come along with them since Whisper isn't in gears to move that much at the moment. Last encounter, Tangle is at her most volatile, also Mimic's there in the flesh this time since holograms don't fool her anymore. Cue more battles and close calls until it eventually boils down to Tangle's final fracturing point. All the energy built up in the device comes flowing out. The wisps arrive just in time, stopping Tangle in her tracks. They tell Tangle that Whisper's alive, Tangle wastes no time and is lead to where she is. Cue that reunion scene, Whisper walks up, takes off the mask, and Tangle just put her head on Whisper's shoulder and cries her eyes out, a few moments later, finally properly resting. And yeah, feel free to suggest changes or additions, not really a writer!
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kicktwine · 1 year
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wanted to ask, could we get a look in to how you put together your animatics?? I've been toying with the idea of trying to make one of my own, but I've got no idea where to start
oh yeah totally
though to be fair, a HUGE chunk of my time is spent listening to about 20 seconds of a song and imagining how the images move around like a little movie, and I refine a ton of stuff in my head before starting to actually put scenes down on paper. This happens with non-music boarding too, imagining different versions of how the scenes line up with dialogue/music. So step one: put a song on repeat and daydream for at least two hours. But, if you aren’t sure how to do this, I’d suggest looking at animatics, MAP projects, AMVs, animated musicals, fight scenes, etc. what do they do that’s cool? Imitate them.
after that, I have most of the main images with some blank spots im not sure how to fill until I put them down. I make something like this and get the compositions of each main image looking more or less okay in this form. This is also the stage I figure out the in between blank spots. I try not to have weird camera moves or other storyboarding don’ts, but some storyboarding donts are completely valid to break if you know what you want aesthetically. As usual. This one was actually pretty clean, but check out all the framing edits. i always have to make the frame bigger
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If you really don’t know what goes in between things, don’t be afraid to focus on some little details of the scene, pull out and show us the setting, put some flowery symbolism on screen, give us some fun little comedic anime inserts, or do what cowboy standoffs do and build tension. What we used to do was draw paws stepping across the screen or eyes blinking, lol
next comes audio sync! I like to get the timing extant on copies of these rough thumbnails before moving on. It helps my brain work through smaller more animated movements + testing if the things I came up with for the blank spots work. and also just makes it happy. And also, most importantly, it tests if the compositions work. If you can see it, the whole sequence with mom was a blank spot until I sketched it. I usually do this step in roughanimator even if i don’t finish it in roughanimator. Keeps it very rough.
after this is just a lot of polishing and layers! For lots of small animatics, I just use roughanimator and leave it like that. It’s surprisingly good for a very basic program. But, for things that need tweens or lots of camera movement, I use toon boom harmony. It’s more powerful and is actually supposed to be used for animation, which. Yknow. I do. I tried storyboard pro, it wasn’t my favorite.
Here are some, I guess, miscellaneous more technical tips for making your animatics feel nice!
If you’re going for lots of movement, try out timing it so big movements or scene transitions line up with the spikes in the audio WAV. If it doesn’t feel right, move it a few frames BEFORE the spike/audio beat. Your brain usually wants to see something move barely before it hears it - this works for dialogue especially. BUT! Don’t feel like you have to do this for every beat. unless you want to feel like Wes Anderson, which you can do and I will not stop you.
If you’re going for something slower with not that much movement, try motion tweening! or adjusting something very slowly so we don’t linger on one still image for forever.
you don’t need crazy camera angles for everything, but put a few in there for spice. This all depends on your mood you want to cultivate. Slow = flatter, spacious, details; fast = lots of moves, weird angles, perspective; disorienting = slow/jerky weird angles etc etc. the camera has emotions built into it. Because the camera is you! surprise!
watch storyboarding tutorials. lots of people zoom in too much when they draw and I am not excluded. Also, keep in mind the eyesight rule. It’s hard for me to explain concisely but… you as the artist are always leading the viewers eye somewhere, with every shot you make. Don’t make them dizzy by having the center of attention jump around to six different spots for six shots straight - if you find yourself unhappy with a sequence, especially a fast one, see if your line of sight is going all over the place and try moving the subject of a shot or two somewhere else or having them move/gesture towards the new shot’s focal point so the viewers eye moves there naturally. I’m actually not great at doing this when words/lyrics are involved, pmv makers have my respect.
contrast is your friend. If you want to emphasize a big fast move or big bright image, put little slow moves or simple images right before/after it. and vice versa! this counts for camera too!
easy camera shakes are just 3-4 frames of cam down/up/down less/up less, a blank tween or two (easing back into normal), and then a key for your desired normal camera location. Or left/right, whichever.
your brain needs about six frames to fully register an object as being an object. If you want someone to see and really See it, rather than just get a glimpse of it and go "What was that!" It needs more than six frames.
don’t be afraid to experiment!!!!!! And don’t get overwhelmed! Everything I just described I MOSTLY do off instinct, which you’ll get a sense for after you make one. Or like…. Ten. Does it feel good in your heart? Then that’s what’s important. Find an idea you want to make move, figure out your limits (programs, attention span, drawing capability, make sure not to commit to a minute long amv if you dont KNOW you wanna do a minute long amv), and plan around that. When I was A Child, people on youtube were just making like three amvs per second and cringe hadn’t been invented yet so they were all mostly untrained unpolished and so so important and based to me. Stop thinking so hard about it. You gotta get that animatic out there into the world or it’ll start fermenting in your brain and make you sick. So what if it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you imagined it? You’ll have another idea tomorrow. And if it matters that much, you can always do it again. Go make! Good luck!
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