#so like... yeah sam is very very relatable too in that sense

[girl-bateman]

How does one get assigned as sam coded / dean coded ? Do I need a doctors note ? A psych evaluation perhaps ?

[thenightshadowqueen]

Sorry About my Nan—Watchthrough Thoughts

Okay so firstly: what the fuck was that? (very positive) Secondly: sorry that this is so late and that these have been so irregular; I’d love to be able to commit to doing them every time and more promptly, but I’m not in a place to do that at the moment, so for now, they’ll probably stay rather sporadic. Thirdly: what the fuck was that???? (still very positive)

I’m going to try to make this one a more reasonable length than the others, but no promises

Ooh, Luke’s hair looks great! (Obviously it always looks great, but it’s a bit longer in this one, and it’s wonderful)

Okay so this opening scene might be my favourite opening scene from anything ever (I adore these ones where they’re just waiting for someone else to establish the scene and no one is doing it)

“…just to sit with it… before you have a breakdown.” Very relatable, AJ

“Who invites their nan on their bachelor party?” Ah, scene established

“We… have just been… really close recently—” “Yeah, I could tell.” I’m getting the sense that this guy and Johnny from Oh No That’s a Door need to have a chat

“Go back into the toilet” I’m getting Aubergine flashbacks

“Just a little recap” I love AJ

Oh, I love that Sam’s the one who fucked up the name this time (AJ said his name slightly first, so I’m giving this one to him)

“You don’t want it” you know what, I’m going to take his word for it and ask no more questions

“I just feel shattered, you know?” With the way they all broke, I feel like that has to be an inside joke/reference to something (or else it was just unexpected, like a ‘be careful’ sort of situation)

Tom assigning himself as the insane nan… eldritch creatures and old women: his speciality

“I’m your best friend, okay?” Desperately reminding myself that I don’t need to ship every set of best friends in anything ever

“I’ve stood by you through a lot” stop making me ship them (also now I desperately want to know what this entails)

“I can’t get through the door” Jimmy??!!!????!!

“Are you my best friend? Are you my best friend?” “I’m your best friend!” I’m so fucking invested in this friendship already

Ooh, Tom’s pulling out the Mama Twilliger fingers! These fingers have seen many things!!! (Nan = Mama Twilliger headcanon?)

See, when I say that, on the rare occasion when Tom does choose chaos, he very well might be the most unhinged of all of them, this is the shit I mean

I thought that Oh No That’s a Door was the most distressed Sam could get, but this is already coming close and I’m six minutes in (also side note: what is up with the Tom-AJ grandmother-grandson incest-adjacent vibes recently???)

“🎶 Nananana nananana nananana nananana, Ethel! 🎶” I love her

AirTags in their drinks???? I… Why??????

“My big day” oh no

“Our big day” …are we doing this?

Okay, we’re not doing this; thank god

Tom in the background of this discussion being unhinged is giving me life

Tom (him lying on the chairs being adorable)

“It’s pre-used” ???????? Tom what the fuck

Tom you are putting your face so close to AJ’s— (I’m actually a little scared that Nana is going to try to kiss her grandson, because I really don’t need that to happen)

“Very enthused” you know, Tom is the only person I’ve ever heard use that word (oh, god damn it, now I’m going to start using it, too, aren’t I? This is always how my dialect/word choice gets updated—)

Tom’s silent frozen laugh face oh my god

Tom’s silent frozen laugh face transitioning to death/coma/sleep????

Tom is fucking on fire in this one oh my god (obviously he always is—they all always are—but you know what I mean)

“Thank god” I love Sam

“I mean… oh, god… thank you” Jamie, babe, that’s the same thing

“Adrenaline” … sure thing

“Why—Why?” Me too, Sam, me too

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” Tom’s characters of questionably sound mind are the best (senile Sherlock, for example)

“You’ve got so many teeth” Tom what the fuck (and his placid little smile afterwards—I love him)

“So you know I’m marrying… Lucy” oh, god damn it, you were doing so well, AJ! (I love it when he messes up a name)

You know a play is chaotic when Sam’s the one being sensible (cue the flashbacks to the Lighthouse)

“What the fuck do you think?” Oh, Jamie is so fucking done (I don’t blame him at all)

…Jim adjusting his nan’s skirt while Jamie talks to the farmhand… why???

“What the—Was she always like this?” I adore Jamie, oh my god

“Very inspiring figure” in the context of… this… I’m not sure I want to know what that means

“On the farm, we have a statue to her” …why????

“If you’re not going to take Ethel, please just leave her alone” …take her where???

Jamie is so distressed already and I’m loving it

“She gives you life” okay, what the fuck is going on here???

“She tears you apart and rebuilds you” um… yikes?????

Oh I love Luke

Oh I love Luke

“Keep going” Tom

Okay, what happened in Berghain???

Tom is so good at being creepy, holy shit

“Good boy” um

“What if we just leave her with this guy?” Jamie wants to get rid of her so badly

Ah, yeah, a cult makes sense. Like, of course she’s started a cult. Of course she has.

“Please stop looking at me” you know what, I stand by Jamie here; that is a totally fair request

“Take a seat, boys.” … “Not one seat each.” I love it when they just make things difficult for each other (and also, way to make me ship them even more, good god)

“Come on, be a good mate” you know what, Jim, you first (he’s not a bad friend, but he is really pressuring poor Jamie here)

“You’re really pushing that” he really is

This is so awkward oh my god (nope, yep, I’m decided; Jamie is absolutely in love with Jim)

“Constrained by our doubts, our fears, social morals” see, the thing is, I don’t disagree with her

Jamie is so viscerally uncomfortable around Ethel and it’s giving me life

“I’ve made them into something greater than they were before” …that doesn’t sound at all problematic

“Please don’t touch me” Jamie I love you

“I’m here for my best friend’s stag do. I will do what he wants to do for the rest of the weekend, and then we will move on” Jamie, darling, babe, love… you do realise you’re allowed to have, like… boundaries, right?

“Then let’s get started, boys” okay, no, that reaction was just Sam

“It’s like an A24 film” …please tell me I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what that is

“Crawl through here” …sure

“They really are” oh good god

Ah, so Ethel’s on meth… Yeah, that checks out (I would bet anything that Old Lady Marjorie is her dealer)

That’s one of the longest first scenes they’ve ever had; that’s really cool

…Luke???

“Can you turn a light on or something, please?” “NO!” Well that’s just great

“My name… is Wilhelm!” Hey, it’s not Hans!

“Great” that was the most unenthusiastic response I’ve ever heard in my life and I love it so much

“This is what we’re doing for your stag do. Your fucking nutter grandma’s scavenger hunt to find ourselves.” That is a brilliant description, oh my god

“Choose your weapon.” “WHAT?” Jamie is so. Goddamn. Done.

“Be careful of the credenza” ….. ?????

“Numchucks” I love the subtitles calling him out so much

“Why? Why do you go to that?” Oh Jamie I love you

“What the fuck’s a credenza?” I love Sam

“I just assumed we had to, like, kill each other or something.” “Why?” I’m actually so obsessed with Jamie; I think he might be up there with some of my favourite characters ever

“Sometimes I always drump to, like, you know, the worst conclusions” I love the subtitle callouts

“Probably being raised by that nut job” so Jim was raised by his nan? What happened to his parents? Is that why he’s like this? What was his childhood like? (I’m so invested)

“Draw your nunchucks” Jim no (also good on AJ for getting the name right!)

I love that AJ isn’t the confused one in this play

Jim NO

“You’re beginning to get it” ?????????

Love Sam bringing back the credenza—✨stagecraft✨

“This is how it ends?” Jamie is so fucking pissed off (very justifiably)

I’m genuinely so fucking invested in this relationship, oh my god

JIM NO

Wilhelm?????

Tom with both a table AND a microphone? Oh, this is about to be incredible

I’m sorry???? The way Tom is sitting on that table???? (He is killing me)

“I know; I checked the ticket sales” I love Tom

“You are going to witness two friends attempt improv comedy” I love Tom so much

This character is 1000% giving me Magnus O. Puss vibes (and also kind of the O’Hands brothers? Ooh, and Creepy Jim, actually, for my fellow Patreons)

Also: the “every German is camp” rule returns in full force (and I am, as always, completely here for it)

Okay but Tom’s physicality is fucking unparalleled

Look at the expressions! Look at the movement!

I have had the insane camp German cabaret improv host for five seconds and I would die for him

AJ remembering a name Sam forgot??? (Hell yeah; I love switching it up)

That “Jesus Christ” and step away felt so instinctual

The booping growing more ominous until Jamie obeys it is so fucking sinister and I love it

“That’s not my nan. It’s a different character.” I love it when they get confused and I don’t know why

Letter of Complaint—hell yeah!!!

I’m so. Fucking. Invested. In this goddamn friendship.

Tom is everything ever, actually, oh my god (the commentary? The posing? The expressions?????)

Oh, Sam and AJ did that in-character letter of complaint so well??? (Also I swear I’m not shipping Jamie and Jim or anything… 👀)

“…and flash their vajayjays at each other” Tom??? Why???

Tom sitting on Luke is everything to me (also, like, shoutout to Luke for just lying there. For several minutes straight.

“It’s good to take a load… off” oh my god

“She made a pass at me, okay?” Oh no

Tom I am begging you to stop breathing into the microphone

Fuck you to Sam and AJ (very lighthearted) for getting me so goddamn invested in this

Tom’s goddamn facial expressions oh my god

“He’s busy right now” ????

“I forgot the word for hole” Tom has never been more relatable (I too forget common words right when I need to use them)

“He’ll wake up again soon” …okay

This little reversal/Wilhelm coming back to life/Jamie running away/the host singing creepily bit is so fucking horrifying and I’m so intrigued by this world???

“Did you enjoy the show today? … Me neither.” This is so dark and I’m so fucking intrigued (and also if you haven’t watched the QnA for this play, definitely go do that, because Tom says something about this line (I can’t remember the exact phrasing) that really gives it this whole extra meaning)

“I hope my fiancé gets here soon” the audience’s lack of reaction and the look Luke gives them for it is brilliant

“Are we in Bristol?” …why Bristol??

That little look that Jim does between Julie/Lucy and Jamie???

Sam, stop it; I already care too much about these two!!!

“This is fucking Bristol” that is so irrelevant and it just makes me love Jamie even more

I do not trust this

Luke is so good at being subtly offputting????? Like? How???

“Life changing” well, yeah, sure, babes, but is that necessarily a good thing?

“I recently found out that my nana is, like, a cult leader for people in Germany. And that, um, is so weird.” Jim I love you so much

You see what I mean? So offputting!!!

AJ’s acting in this scene is incredible

“Of course I believe him. He’s my best friend.” Stop making me fall even more in love with these two characters and their friendship!!!!

Of fucking course it was another test. Of course it was. I’m not even surprised anymore.

Jim and Jamie are going to spend the rest of their entire lives wondering what’s real (and now I’ve made myself sad)

Luke’s clapping

“WE’RE NOT IN BRISTOL!” What the fuck happened to Jamie???

…Why are we joining in on the chant?

This does not seem good

Ooh, so we do get to see the real Julie/Lucy

Ah, so she prefers Lucy

Or she doesn’t? Is she just changing her name because that’s what Jim wants? Because that doesn’t sound healthy, babe—

“I’m pretty sure you got the message from the whole stag business, but, whatever you choose to do… Nana’s got your back” yeah, that’s what I took away from the stag do. Sure. (Also, another Tom character Ethel reminds me of: the George’s bra seller (promoted by the “got your back” quote))

Nana no

“I want to thank you for forgiving me” ah, okay, good to know

Also where’s Jamie?

Nana NO

“And also, I want to thank you for convincing me to bring your nan to my bachelorette party” okay woah wait hold on a goddamn second what the fuck happened at the bachelorette party??????

“It was life-changing” oh I need a sequel so badly

I’m getting so many CDIYW flashbacks with this wedding

And we’re ending on a grand Luke and AJ kiss, just like CDIYW

I’m so sorry, the way Luke always holds his arm out and sits so delicately and beautifully whenever the others take it upon themselves to carry him bridal style???? I adore it so fucking much

“To Berghain!” Oh, good god (I’m sure this is going to end so well)

So, final thoughts:

What the fuck was that? (extremely positive)

Okay so Jamie and the fucked-up improv host are two of my new favourite characters ever

I love this play so fucking much

…This is not a reasonable length, is it?

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

[borom1r]

WEIRD fuckin ask but we talked about it once and it would not exit the brain. Flavours of neurodivergence within the fellowship: discuss?

OGH. no, good ask. good ask I love it. AUTISM FLAVORED bc that is my own experience :3

Aragorn— autism of the “I Am 100% A Changeling, I Have No Idea How To Relate To Humanity” variety. like yea being partly raised by elves didn’t help but he absolutely wandered around mimicking people to learn how to Behave Like A Person. autism trait absorption for the win!! comes to Minas Tirith and gets a painful crash course in masking, but never quite figured out how to Not stare at someone like a feral cat when he wants something from them (despite the Stare, HATES eye contact)

Boromir— OPPOSITE AUTISM. very direct. EXTREMELY rigid routines. military history special interest (literally just undiagnosed dad autism). probably has food sensitivities but he’s spent so long as a soldier he can just eat anything now. he hates it and he won’t eat a big portion of non-safe foods, but at least he can swallow them. he IS absolutely 100% undiagnosed and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong but if he doesn’t get to perfectly make his bed every morning he will be in a Noticeably Bad Mood for the rest of the day < does not understand that this isn’t normal

Gandalf— oh there’s definitely something going on there, but good luck with figuring THAT out

Legolas— AuDHD king. the autism/ADHD comorbidity is real and he barely bothers to mask. least of all in front of men?? he’s an elf prince and you expect him to act “normal” by human standards? I love how jacked up the Hobbit film timeline is bc Thranduil implying to Legolas “yeah go hang out in Rivendell with a ten year old” is SO funny. canon to me tho. there was a very significant chunk of time where Aragorn was just Mini Legolas. hell world for civilized Rivendell elves. unlike Aragorn, however, prefers very direct eye contact. WILL fully hit you with the 👁️👁️ almost unblinking for a whole conversation

Gimli— I’m gonna be real here. I think neurotypical but in the sense of like. literally nobody cares. dwarves are craftsmen, artisans, smiths, you think they’re going to risk squandering talent simply because somebody needs some accommodations? are you nuts???? like yea maybe somebody’s a Little Weird Sometimes but they can work the forge just fine or tool leather for straps/handle wraps, or draft designs, or stamp metal for decorations, like?? doesn’t particularly grasp the need for labels when you can just work with ppl to figure out what’s best for them + then everyone’s happy. fully has to stew on the fact that Men Don’t Do That, men are actually very rigid about what is socially acceptable and won’t provide accommodations Unless there is a label. wild.

Frodo— autism/depression hell combination. no meltdowns, only shutdowns. auditory processing disorder!! definitely also has poor temperature regulation (CONSTANTLY cold). hey did u know that’s a symptom of ASD? crazy. WILD. anyways. Sam knows he can barely handle the feeling of mittens/gloves so half the time when they’re hanging out is Sam just holding Frodo’s hands so they actually fucking warm up for a bit. not too rigid about Big routines, most of his are Little (always putting a specific amount of sugar in his tea, for example)

Sam— neurotypical but in the sense of my dad where he was just SO used to me being Autistically Strange that he was just like. “well, that’s Strider!” < blissfully unaware. fully just SO used to whatever’s going on w/ Frodo+Merry that it’s Normal to him. like wdym they’re different?? those are just his friends?? hello??

Merry— ADHDDDDDDDDD. and look ik Tolkien said pipeweed is just tobacco but that’s a lie and we all know it, right? right. self-medicating with pipeweed.

Pippin— neurotypical but Pippin-flavored

[the-mpreg-guy]

random miscellaneous thoughts, post birth edition (numbered for convenience):

1. for jack to be his canon 18-20ish years old at the start of s13 he just has to age at roughly 3x speed if he’s born at the start of s7. (I think. My math could be wrong). Notably this means he’s 3 when dean and cas get sucked into purgatory, and 6 when dean gets back, which is fun for me and emotionally devastating for dean.

1.5 (sidenote: sam having his toddler nephew to take care of does make him ditching hunting more sympathetic, but also if the Amelia plotline still happens sam has to somehow explain away this kid aging at 3x speed)

2. everything with Emma becomes extra juicy because she’s now a jack parallel

3. I need tfw to know that jack was Lucifer’s bio kid in the original timeline, that way hallucifer can use him to torment sam further

4. The first time cas meets young jack is as emmanuel! Imagine with me for a moment the scene in Daphne Allen’s house except dean is holding a baby that looks like a perfect mix of him and “emmanuel” the whole time. cas taking Sam’s cage trauma and immediately checking back out hurts dean even worse here also

5. between spending s7 either missing or extremely traumatized and mentally checked out and his time in purgatory, cas doesn’t actually get to bond with jack until midway through s8, and even then he’s being mind controlled by Naomi until the very end of the season, by which point jack is decidedly elementary school age. it sucks so bad for dean that it takes several years for the babytrapping to actually start working. anyways i think s9 and s10 is when jack and cas get close

6. does cas go through with metatron’s “angel trials” at the end of s8? certainly not if jack was nephilim he’d have to kill, but I think it would also make him far more unwilling to kill any other nephilim. maybe metatron has to get someone else to do it? maybe cas still does but it takes more convincing (if the gates of heaven are closed, then other angels can’t threaten jack)? More generally though I think having Jack earlier would dramatically change most of Cas’s heaven related plots for several reasons (he feels more secure in his role in his human family, the angels think his kid is an abomination, he’s much more directly tied to earth)

7. I’m thinking maybe jack eventually regains his original timeline memories? either slowly as he grows or once we hit the start of s13 when he was originally born. And then once he does get those memories back he has to grapple with these two different sets of experiences and different relationships with his various parent figures, feeling hurt over things that in this timeline they never did, feeling guilty for things HE never did, grappling with kelly being alive in this timeline but also she was never his mom here, etc.

8. casifer is also extra painful in this because that’s jack’s original bio father who he rejected in every way he possibly could possessing the dad he chose instead!

9. Mary comes back to life in s12 and not only are her kids grown adults but she’s also instantly grandmother to a teenager. Nightmare scenario!

anyways i know i just dumped a lot into your inbox and you absolutely don't have to respond to all of it, but I can't get it out of my head and needed to inflict it on you as well :) also if you have any thoughts or ideas that contradict any of this or go in a different direction I'm interested in hearing those too!

I'm sucking your brain dick.

Finally. A baby Jack AU cater specifically TO ME. I've never been a fan of that trope personally, but Reneseme aging him up works well to counter correct that and makes sense plotwise, given that the reason they're doing this anyway is so he can grow up quickly. ALSO. YEAH THE ANGST.

(Thank fucking god we're giving Sam something to do in s8 that isn't just the stupid Amelia plotline. Let him trauma bond with Jack.)

Emma either wouldn't die in this AU or Dean and Sam would have a genuine falling out about it. Change my mind. ALSO YES HALLUCIFER MAKING SAM HAVE A BAD TIME ABOUT JACK YESSSS.

Cas taking on Sam's hell trauma literally five minutes after getting his memories back and finding out he and Dean have a baby is so. So very Castiel. Yeah, he would leave Dean like that with a baby. Not out of malicious intent, but to try and make things better bc ofc Dean wants Sam there more than he wants Cas. (He's an idiot. I love him.)

One of my very nit picky complaints of late seasons is that Jack and Cas don't get to be complicated about each other. I always personally thought that Jack should have been way more upset about Cas's Empty Deal (and also about Cas constantly dipping in general), so I love love love that the babytrapping takes Dean a few solid years to get rolling. I think once Cas bonds with Jack, he's pretty set to stay (most of the time, habits die hard), but by god it takes Dean forever to nail him down (no pun intended).

I agree that s8 Cas would not even consider killing a nephilim bc of the whole Jack arc. I would also make it extra spicy by making Metatron imply that they need to kill Jack specifically. Also, if Cas did become human in this AU for a while, there's no way that Dean's going to kick him out of the bunker, blackmail or no. He'd throw a fit and ask Gadreel if they were kicking Jack out too, since Jack is the most Cas adjacent being on the planet. It would all fall apart from there, and they'd get Gadreel on their side sooner. Also Cas would have newfound understanding for how it is to be human in a way where he could connect to Dean better. (Also this is exactly where I'd have them have sex for the first time after convincing Jack. It would happen.)

I love the idea that Jack is dealing with the burden of remembering more than one timeline. His and Dean's relationship in particular would be crunchy as hell bc he would remember difficulties that do not exist now. But vise versa with Cas. God, I'm thinking about him looking up his mom too and feeling sad about that.

Casifer would be. Interesting in this timeline. I wonder if Lucifer would accidentally gain enough access to Cas's memories to find out about Jack's timeline hopping scheme.

God, though, imagine you're Mary and you come back and your sons are both like 40 and one of them has a half angel baby who grew up to age 20 in like 7 years. Hits her with my therapy beam.

[shallowseeker]

There's something so nifty and deliciously dark-ish(?) about Meg serving Castiel's Cause.

Like, she thought she was recruiting Cas to her cause, which is protecting herself (by killing Crowley, naturally).

Then she and Sam have a big standoff where she brags that Cas is hers, not Sam's:

If you squint, it's colored in shades of the Sam and Dean with John versus John being nursed back to health by Kate Milligan.

Perhaps John started pulling away from the Azazel mission, longing to start over with a new family, but in doing that, he never made it up to Sam and Dean...

This ALSO has vibes of, "You can't stand that he's miiiine."

She can joke about this and do this power play with Sam because this is just a power dynamic between them. It's more emotionally safe to through out those innuendo bombs because they don't really land.

BUT.

She won't make these kind of jokes quite as overtly with Dean, because she slowly comes to see how she'd lose against... whatever huge thing that is between them. (This parallels how Crowley does family/work power plays with Sam, but not really Cas. And it's noticeable because, Crowley is a goading/braggadocious character.)

//

Poor Meg. She's so easy.

A little chivalry has her swooning inside like like WTF IS HAPPENING TO ME??? O_O

It's like she said: no one's ever gone to bat for her. Azazel lavished her with attention and Lucifer petted her faced and cooed affirmations at her, but they also related her wholesale like a solider, throwing her into the fire without ever even pretending to care about her safety.

(And even before that, she was an instrument of Alastair, always a blunt instrument in one way or another, even wielding her sexuality to the ends of the mission.)

Like characters like Claire, Dean, etc literally all it takes to crack her open is a caring word or two. And like characters like Crowley, Rowena, etc despite her bluster, she's catching feelings, no matter all the assaults and the manipulations and the murders that came before.

//

But then! She wound up serving Cas's cause: protecting his family.

Yes, she's being protected, but she's expected to do her part in sharing in the protecting, too.

//

In a way, she very much reminds me of the dynamic we will see playout with Josie Sands and Henry Winchester, loving him and slowly realizing that all of his focus is on Millie an John, even the mission.

The more time Meg spends with them, the more she sees the truth of it. But unlike her one-upmanship with Sam, when it comes to Dean, her feelings seem more... like a twinge of hurt.

Like "Oh. Them? STILL them?"

///

And in a way, especially when she wields the angel blade, she's acting as Cas's soldier / in his stead.

When Hester goes for Dean, Cas steps in the way, and then Hester goes for Cas, beating on him. Sam and Dean rush into help, but the angels, knowing how much they mean to each other, are quick to step in.

But no one's watching Meg.

Because they don't expect her to care for Cas.

//

And when Sam accepts her, she's slowly folding into Sam's family dynamic, as a supporter of Sam's cause(s). But crucially, that cause puts her in danger. The boys call Crowley against her wishes.

(And she's right. He'll eventually kill her for being a Lucifer loyalist.).

///

But here's the dark glimmer: Cas WON'T let her leave. When she's needed, he brings her back:

//

When the boys call Crowley, she can't run then either:

Crowley in typical Crowley-style, off-key denigrates her intelligence "you have no sense of poetry."

So, Meg.

It's not exactly servitude, and it's not exactly freedom.

So messy!

//

But still, Meg remains in Sam's Cause.

We'll see her go from wielding Ruby's blade to then Cas's blade to THEN the Winchester-family-oriented machete in the finale (not to mention driving theeeee car).

Is she family? No, but she's earned something here.

(no matter all the assaults and the manipulations and the murders that came before)

And yeah, she's done some bad shit (assault, possession, etc, so much in the name of Mission), but hey, unlike the s5 Crowley allyship, she isn't holding a family member's soul captive... or keeping blackmail-kissing-pictures of them for humiliation purposes, then throwing them a bone of kindness every once in awhile to try to soften... that.

No, Meg is more genuine at this point, and she's pretty nakedly honest about her motivations and about the give-and-take of the dynamic.

And that's definitely something interesting.

///

EDITING to add.

Aside// I think if Cas worked to free Ruby from The Empty in earnest, she'd be a Castiel loyalist in two shakes, too. Sorry / not sorry. Ruby would be doomed to be a Castiel stan imho.

[number-one-castiel-apologist]

Why I think Sam Winchester is queer coded:

^specifically the psychic/demon blood storyline(s)

(my fuckass essay !!!) 

long + has spoilers for all of spn

So, lemme preface this by saying when it comes to this man, I reach levels of bein delusional that shouldn’t be possible. and, I don’t think every “tragic” character is or should be queercoded (that would probably be y’know, kinda problematic), I just relate to Sam a lot. I also think that he’s queer(bi*) but for different, separate reasons than being queer-CODED. (And Jared Padalecki supports that interpretation too sooo :) …) *I ship him and Eileen. 

Also, I’m probably missing some shit cause I didn’t start writing this til I was already on the later seasons. So, the early stuff is just from memory. And I have a shit memory. if you like, know me, please don’t read this. It’s very much tinhatting and it’s extremely embarrassing. -_-

So, first of all, all he wants is to be normal.. fuckkkk why the hell are you so relatable Sam?? Within the narrative he’s always called things like “weak and feminine”. + he’s shamed for his desires and actions. 

(This is why he’s my comfort character. That doesn’t directly tie into the queer coding, I’m just a guy with long hair, who was raised in the south, with a much cooler “typically masculine” brother figure, and a shitty dad. Also Sam dresses like me, has similar mannerisms, similar food shit, and tbh he made me not wanna die so much. Cause seeing him on screen helped me feel like I finally saw someone who reminded me of myself, who got a happy ending and could just live. So. Side note, I do relate more to Dean personality/social wise though.) Any character that gets called an abomination (by Cas in like s4 I think) is INSTANTLY my pookie. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. 

I wrote most of this while I was on weird ass allergy meds that did something to me. and yeah. none of it makes any sense. Enjoy!

First of all, the way his (presumably) first kiss(*) was with a person who was also a freak in every definition of the word… and she tells him that he’s a freak, but it’s okay because so is she. She makes him feel safe. For the first time, Sam finds comfort in who he is. In his differences from his “normal” dad and brother. That’s how I felt the first time I met another queer person (who I had a crush on). It’s like finally finding the missing piece of yourself. Community. And he can’t tell anyone about it or her because it would be seen as dirty and wrong. Now that I think about it, most of his love interests were other “freaks” or creatures like him— outcasts.**

(*from “the girl next door” season seven, episode three.)

** 1. Madison, werewolf

2. Ruby, demon

3. Amy, wraith

Then, there’s this scene:

(Sam), “You know, I’ve been remembering things, little things, so clearly—” (Sam), “You know, I’ve been remembering things, little things, so clearly—”

(Dean), “What, donkey rides?”

(Sam), “You used to read to me, um, when I was little, I— I mean, really little, from that old, uh… Classics Illustrated comic book. You remember that?”

(Dean), “No.”

(Sam), “Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur’s knights, and they were all on a quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember… thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I’m not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think… maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had… demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I’m— wasn’t pure?”

(Dean), “Sam, it’s not your fault.”

(Sam), “It doesn’t matter anymore. Because these trials… they’re purifying me.”

(End scene)

(From “the great escapist” season eight, episode twenty one. All convos that are taken from official (I think?) transcripts.)

He feels like he can’t be righteous. This is exactly how I was when I was a kid. I thought I couldn’t be anything good because I was gay, even when I didn’t fully know/understand (the way he says it) that I was yet. I felt dirty and evil and wrong. I thought I couldn’t be close to god, to the point I was terrified of communion because I thought my uncleanliness would send me to hell. I was taught that was what would happen, so it was just a fact I accepted. Sam being the brother who had faith takes me out cause like, that was me. I was the person who prayed and believed and all it got me was rejection. I was labeled a freak. I’ve called myself one more times than I can count. Just like he did. 

But really, just watching this scene felt like it healed something in me. The first time I saw it I wanted to scream, THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! THATS WHAT IT MEANS! Amazing delivery. Amazing dialogue. Everything. Ten out of ten. This changed my brain chemistry forever. 

“I have a disease in me, pumping through my veins. I can’t rip it out or scrub it clean. I’m a whole new level of freak.” Sam, in season four, episode four. 

That pretty much sums up how I thought about myself in my childhood/teenage years. The way Sam thinks he’s wrong and “impure” from an early age has always connected with me. His character has always felt like a parallel to the (my) experience as a queer person. I just connect to him on an unexplainable level for equally hard to explain reasons. ig

Plus, there’s the way his love life either ends in death or tragedy(/almost(?) everyone he gets with dies). And that’s not rlly super queercoded (unless you think about AIDS or something) I just like that because I’m also traumatized and I’m a slut for characters’ pain. So I wanted to mention it.

Actually I take that back— it’s very HIV/AIDS. it’s a whole thing about blood and not being clean, and the way his “sin” is transmitted for the first time is through Ruby, his demon lover. 

Tieing into that, there’s something just so desire-repression-longing-shame-religious guilt-giving in to the pleasure about his sex scenes with Ruby. Dayummm. Also blood and sex as a metaphor (like with vampirism) has long been held as a sort of queercoded thing. (Bram Stoker’s Dracula-- my beloved. THE queercoded book.)

There’s also the little bit of subtext with male “supernatural creature” type characters that other people have mentioned/noticed. (ie, that one witch guy. Paul?) Don’t qoute me on that, cause that’s more relationship/character interaction based than subtext/metaphor based. 

———

(Season eleven, episode eight, “just my imagination”.)

Imaginary. Friend. Wearing. Rainbow. Suspenders. “You can be whatever you wanna be.” Aghhhhh. I. AM. FOAMING. AT. THE. MOUTH. I couldn’t make this up. 

(Note from my mom: “I think you’re reading too much into this.” Am I? Absolutely. But that’s why it’s called a hyperfixation. I’m putting a shit ton of sub into this text.)

In season two Sam goes on a brief journey of self discovery. This brings this quote: “I’m trying to find answers about who I am. And my brother means well but he can’t protect me from that.”* (I think he’s calling Ellen here?) I get this, though. When you’re trying to figure out who you are, and you’re different, everyone around you tries to “protect” you in a way. From the world. From yourself. 

*This was probably in season two, episode ten, and that whole episode takes me out. Cause John’s love was conditional when it came to Sam and the demon blood. 

His powers have to be hidden from the other hunters (society). Dean is afraid that Sam will be hurt because of who he is, and that’s what LGBT people have to go through every day. That’s exactly like my mother telling me she was terrified of what might happen to me if someone found out I was different. 

So, seeing Sam’s brother (who practically raised him) saying that really hit home for me. And the way Dean almost treats him like “one of the good ones” is how homophobic/unsupportive family members will act towards you. They’ll say that everyone else is awful and disgusting “but not you” because you’re their blood. (The layers, people. The layers.) Sam’s “one of the good ones” to Dean because he has to be— he’s his brother. And Dean can hate everyone like him but he can’t hate Sam. 

A good example of “society” was Gordon. Gordon hunting monsters was a strong parallel to other forms of blind bigotry, where someone is unwilling to see a person’s humanity no matter what*. The way he vicisouly hunts down Sam in (season two) after this when his psychicness is “outed” to him is gut wrenching. Shitttt. Exactly how former friends (re)acted when I wasn’t in the closet anymore. -Violent and angry cause I wasn’t like them. 

(*that faction of vampires didn’t hurt anyone and I’m still pissed about this. “But monster bad” - no. Nuance. Please. This makes me INSANE. a lot of the time, supernatural just basically forgot there were ever good “monsters”/creatures.. like??)

Sam is always portrayed as the open and accepting one when it comes to the possibility of monsters being good or human-like, as well. He’s empathetic towards others who are different, like him. This is in contrast to Dean, who basically is really the action hero type who wants to shoot, first ask questions later. 

He (Sam) takes Jack under his wing. The speech he gives him in season thirteen, episode three, “patience” that goes something like “I know what it’s like to feel different… and be afraid of who you are…”, (I’ll elaborate later) where Sam promises to help him— This reminds me of the “older queer mentor-mentee” type relationship that I’ve been on both sides of. 

———

I feel like Sam would’ve started trying to kill himself at a young age to drown away all the feelings that he didn’t (couldn’t) belong. This is just a personal self indulgent headcanon that’s a little too dark for some silly cw show about monsters. Giving himself up to Lucifer as a vessel is basically suicide. And this happens after he thinks (that Dean thinks) he is irredeemable. I honestly don’t know how to explain it well enough, but his experiences are everything I’ve been through if you put it through a different lense, (since I’m not a psychic and demons n shit don’t, yknow, exist.)

“You’re unclean in the biblical sense.” - Billie the reaper (in season eleven, episode two - “form and void.”) Kill me. Kill me. 

It’s a reoccurring theme that there’s something fundamentally wrong with Sam, expressed by multiple characters. There’s several different reasons this is said over the years, but it always comes back to “you’re not clean/right.”

His relationship to religion and himself is connected. He feels unclean. For me, my prayers and beliefs affected that. His longing for a normal life reminds me of mine. And he can never have that because of who he is and the life he lives. I actually love all of his conflict with religion (“of course I pray everyday Dean” + that short season 11 arc my beloved. And then it’s actually Lucifer all along who was speaking to him? DELICIOUS. I love his torment.)

I’m not ashamed to admit I enjoy supernatural completely unironically. The bad effects, the weird ass stories, etc. You have to love and hate it at the same time? Nah, I just love it. So much. 

He prays the same way I did/do. And I love that because I see so, so much of myself in him. (Sam. Sammy. Samuel. I love you. Never change.)

…I’ve genuinely put more effort into this than any assignment shit i ever did for school. Quit school and watch Supernatural instead. Trust me. 

———

When Sam meets Magda, the physic girl, you can see the moment in his eyes where he goes “oh god, she’s like me.” Magda’s hyper-religious family keeps her locked in the basement as a prisoner for who she is— a psychic. Some hardcore religious families will treat queer people this way. The way Sam reassures her that she’s not evil or wrong, and that he’s like her, reads like a coming out scene. “There’s nothing wrong with you because I’m the same way so I’d know,” type shit. Reassurance. 

The scene:

(Sam awakens to find himslef in the basement floor with his hands tied behind his back.)

(Magda, singing) “You may talk about your men of Gideon. You may talk about you men of…”

(Sam, NOT singing), “Magda?”

(Magda stops humming)

(Sam), “Magda Peterson.”

(Magda), “That’s not my name. I’m not Magda. I’m the devil.”

(Sam), “No. no, you’re really not.”

(Magda), “He’s inside me. I can hear him whispering. He lets me hear what people are thinking. He lets me do things.”

(Sam), “What kind of things? Magda, I’m here… I’m here to help you. Show me. Please.”

(Magda looks at the cross on the wall. With the power of her mind, she makes it come off away from the wall and hover.)

*Short scene cut out for irrelevance*

(Sam), “Magda… You’re not the devil. You’re just psychic. There are others out there like you, like — like me. I have powers, too. I’d get these visions sometimes and — and I could move things with my mind.”

(Magda), “You can do that?”

(Sam), “Well, no, not anymore, I don’t think. But that didn’t make me the Devil. It - it - it just made me who I am.”

(Magda), “then you are evil. Mother says I’m evil, cause I hurt people.”

(Sam), “Who did you hurt?”

(end (of the important part of the) scene)

In lots of different movies, tv shows, and books, being a supernatural type of creature has been used as an allegory for minorities and the bigotry they face. So, I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to say that Supernatural, intentionally or not, made Sam’s psychic-ness a queer allegory. 

When Magda faces off against her mom, she tells her “I’m not the devil. You are,” taking back who she is, which isn’t anything wrong or evil. In the end Magda gets killed by a man of letters, because some people will never see past their hatred of something or someone that’s different from them. Someone they don’t understand (the metaphor).

All of the OG Azazel psychics’ abilities “activated” at twenty-two. Usually people will discover their queer identities and/or come out at or near that age. I just think that’s interesting/neat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

—-

In season thirteen, episode three, “patience”, several things happen that I want to include in this essay. 

The episode starts off establishing that a wraith is going after psychics (similar to a hate crime).* Also while looking at the transcripts for different episodes, I’ve noticed that that Robert Berens (who I believe is gay? - idk don’t quote me) writes a lot of the episodes that I feel have queer themes. And, as a queer writer, a lot of times, intentional or not, we tend to write from experience and the thought process of someone who IS queer, which can make characters come off with a queer reading. 

*Missouri remarks that he’s “going after our kind”. (Also I’ll die on the hill that Sam should’ve stayed psychic/telekinetic at least a little longer. There would’ve been so much good conflict, like this.)

The scenes

Number one:

(Dean), “Alright, well that thing might come back, so…”

(Patience), “Why?”

(Jody), “Well, all we know is that he stalks psychics.”

(Patience), “Psychics? Then what does he want with me?”

(Dean), “What do you think?”

(Patience), “I... No, I'm not... I get déjà vu sometimes but that's normal.. I’m normal.”

(Scene end)

The “I’m normal” is very reminiscent of trying convince myself I could be something different, ie: “normal”, instead of gay. Patience desperately wants to be normal, because she’s afraid of being different, and thats just a universal queer experience, baby. If I had a nickel for everytime I thought “I just want to be normal” I’d be filthy fucking rich. 

Scene two:

(Sam), “Why is it so hard? I've seen you throw people across the room. I've been thrown across the room by you.I've seen you open a gate to hell and now nothing? It doesn't make any sense.”

(Jack), “It makes sense, if I'm evil.”*

(Sam), “What?”

(Jack), “Just, go. Please.”

(Sam), “No, Jack. Why do you think you're evil? Because when I look at you, that's not what I see.”

(Jack), “Yeah well, Dean sees it. That's why he says... he said he'd kill me.”

(Sam), “He what?”

(Jack), “And maybe he should. Mom said I could be good, that I had the choice to be good, that it was up to me. But she's dead, because of me. I've only been on earth for a few days and I've already hurt people. I've already done bad things, and no matter how hard I try I can't... I can't do the one good, stupid thing you want me to. So I must be evil, like Lucifer.”

(Scene paused)

[[*I personally headcanon that Jack couldn’t use his powers because he was repressing them. and boy do I know a lot about repression. (I like to project onto my favorite characters okay?) Like, he was afraid to be who he is, yknow what I mean?

(scene continuation/irrelevant part of scene was cut out)

(Jack), “Sam, why are you being so nice to me?”

(Sam), “Because I know what it feels like, to feel like you don't belong. To feel like there's this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cas, my family helped me through that. So now I want to help you, because you're not evil, Jack.”

(Scene end)

This is the “older queer mentor” thing I was talking about. Sam, here in this scene, is supporting him and showing him, “it’s okay, I’m like you, and I made it. I’m okay and there’s nothing wrong with me.” he’s basically going “i felt that way at your age, and it gets better”, and I don’t know how many times I’ve had to say that to my younger lgbt friends. WHICH MIGHT MEAN NOTHING. but it also might mean everything. (Can you tell i have no better shit to do?)

Scene three:

(Missouri), “James, you can't.”

(James), “I can. I have to. Patience, she's... she's all I've got.”

(Missouri), “You have me!”

(James), “I don't want you influencing her, poisoning her. You need to say goodbye.”

(Missouri), “James…”

(Scene end)

This (Painfully) reminds me of being cut out of friends or relatives (especially children or younger people’s lives) because who I am would “poison them” or influence them to become like me. Because that was “dangerous.”

Scene four:

(Dean), “Have you given any thought to what's next?”

(Patience), “I don't know. School is in an hour, so I guess calculus?”

(Jody), “And your gift?”

(Patience), “I talked to my dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he's right.“

(Dean), “He is. This life, hunting, monsters, there's no joy in it. There's nothing but pain, horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.”

(Jody), “Patience, wait. I may be out of line here but you don't have to listen to him. To either of them, if it's not what you really want. I had a daughter, I guess, Claire*, and I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was because I thought it would keep her safe. It didn't work, it never does. Your gift... or maybe you're right, maybe it'll go away. But if it doesn't? You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable. It's your choice. But if you ever need someone to talk to or someplace to go, my door is always open.”

(Scene ends) 

*it’s worth noting Claire is canonically queer. (My wlw queen.) Again, what Jody says fits with how in real life, even well-meaning people will tell us to hide who we are because of the dangers of being ourselves/being out. It’s unfortunate, but thats a lot of people’s lives. Also, again with the obsession with normal, which will never not mean more to be because of my own life experiences. You can’t hide who you are, even if it means getting along in normal society. Being queer and staying in the closet feels like a slow, painful death. It hurts. 

Scene five:

(Dean), “I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad.”

(Sam), “I didn't.”

(Dean), “What?”

(Sam), “I didn't 'end bad'. When I was the “freak*,” when I was drinking demon blood.”

(Dean), “Come on man, that's totally different.”**

(Sam), “Was it? Because you could've put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn't! You saved me! So help me save him!”

(Dean), “You deserved to be saved, he doesn't!”

(Sam), “Yes he does, Dean, of course he does!”

(Scene ends)

*everytime Sam angrily spits out that he’s a freak, you could replace that with the other f-word and it would read shockingly like someone struggling with internalized homophobia. I’d know. (When other characters say it, the way Sam recoils is like a punch to the gut. I know that feeling and I hate it so much. THANK YOU MISTER PADALECKI!! -People who say he can’t act watched a VERY different show than I did??) Sam’s self hatred/shame is so important to me. Also there are probably instances of him saying things like this that I missed, but I didn’t start writing this til I was about halfway through the show so some of it is just from memory. 

In this specific scene especially, when Sam says the word freak he sounds so, so angry and bitter. A+ delivery. Also, when he refers to himself this way in this scene, it doesn’t sound like he personally believes it anymore. And that makes me so undescribably happy. 

Additionally, Patience’s dad kicks her out when she refuses to hide herself. That’s what happens to a lot of gay or trans kids when their parents find out about them. 

**Dean, again, has a sort of complex when it comes to Sam that he CANT be “one of the bad ones.” He has blinders on when it comes to him cause he’s family. 

—

In conclusion, when it comes to Sam Winchester, no one is doing it like me (derogatory).

Additional notes:

Something something, male crossroads demon(s). (The evil manifestations of your desires.) Idk I’m tired. 

Just look up “queercoded Sam Winchester”. Someone else has probably explained this way more eloquently than me. Also lemme know if I missed anything. 

(When I was trying to explain all this to my friend, she made fun of me by saying “oh yeah he’s totally gay cause he sees visions and has nightmares of people like him dying.” Fuck off, bestie. <3 She’s also a Sam hater. So.)

He can never be happy + he’s “always felt different”. Also the way supernatural is always criticizing “that apple pie life” makes me lose it. Why? Why? (A little detail I like is that Sam is also very understanding to Cas, who also feels/is like an outcast in his own family.)

Sam himself was never approved of by his family. I know how crushing it feels to have someone tell you who you are is inherently wrong. When Dean called him a monster/freak early on, my heart broke for him (and my younger self.) None of this is Dean hate btw. I love him I’m just slightly more Insane(TM) about Sam. That’s why I wrote an over four thousand word essay (on a theory I have) about him. 

(I also think Dean is queer. But in the way that “I need you” is NOT something you say to your boy best friend, where Sam is queer cause his whole life is a reflection of The Experience.)

Just literally the whole blood freak thing is coding (which by itself can be an allegory for addiction, but the way he treats this different part of himself personally resonates with me. There’s also some tie in with mental health issues/possible neurodivergence there, and I’ve dealt with stuff like that a lot. I know Jared has too, and he portrayed Sam’s struggles really beautifully.) I’ve just always personally thought it was a metaphor. (I also have some of those other issues it could be paralleled with so maybe that’s why I relate to him so much? I don’t know man.)

(Take a shot everytime I say metaphor. You’ll die of alcohol poisoning. I’m just not good with words when it’s this kinda shit. So sorry to anyone who reads this lmao.)

Normally this is where I’d say im right, but since im aware this is a long winded rant, this is where I’m asking y’all to please be nice. If you disagree with me, I’m chill with civil discussions, but don’t send me hate. Please and thank you !!

[magpod-confessions]

[spoilers for tmagp18]

sam frustrates me. i won’t say i dislike him because he’s a very compelling character—although i am glad there’s more of an ensemble cast so i can follow other storylines—but the way he talks to other characters comes off as rude and patronizing to me. he’s constantly prodding at alice’s sore spots, and even in the most recent episode, 18, he is trying to be helpful/protect her but she has to lay all her cards on the table to get him to understand/back down.

i think he could’ve handled celia standing him up better, too. like, he starts off fine, and it’s a legitimate grievance, but if someone told me “just don’t make a habit of it, yeah?” i would immediately lose so much sympathy for them. it’s condescending—it doesn’t come off as “hey this hurt my feelings and i don’t want to get hurt again,” it comes off as A) assuming that we’re going on more dates, B) assuming that me standing them up would be a regular possibility instead of a one-off or emergency, and C) assuming that i need to be told that—that i won’t be able to think of it myself. like, advice instead of a request.

sam saying “that makes sense” after lena told him she didn’t have kids made me stop dead. sam does not know her well enough to be sympathetic/understand why she wouldn’t have kids, and having kids is an incredibly sensitive topic for most people. therefore, the most reasonable interpretation is that sam has evaluated her personality and life and found it lacking in the qualities he associates with motherhood, which given the sensitivity of the topic, is incredibly rude. even if he didn’t intend this, those are the implications he sent.

lastly, the extent to which he took the bonzo thing also rubbed me the wrong way. and i should be clear—i LOVED it as a story moment. seeing gwen break like that? theorizing on what it reveals about sam that he would dismiss this but accept/lean into other bits of the horror and the supernatural? delightful. but if i worked at the OIAR, where we’ve all tacitly agreed that what we deal with is real and will always be present in ways we don’t expect, and my coworker laughed at me about classic mascot/clown horror? i would go berserk. and although sam wouldn’t know this, it’s made worse because we as the audience know that this is the most vulnerable gwen has been so far.

(sorry this is so long) 🗣️

Oh yea I get that. I dont have many opinions on him but to me he comes off as autistic and is trying to relate to ppl around him and mask but it just comes off wrong lol

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Conspiracy Unmasked

Ohohoho here we go >:-D

Merry like “hmm, I can tell something’s fishy about this, but we’ll have to talk about it later”

The Brandybucks being described as “virtually a small independent country” is GreatTM X-D

“…as a matter of fact, [the Bucklanders] were not very different from the other hobbits of the Four Farthings. Except in one point: they were fond of boats, and some of them could swim.”

*Phil Dragash Merry voice intensifies* I LOVE BOATS Y’KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE BOATS SO MUCH I MEAN THEY’RE SO COOL AND BOATY AND THEY FLOAT

Aww, Sam’s already getting a bit homesick :-(

Gollummmm

Frodo: “I mean we already ate, but we could eat again.” Merry: “Say no more, fam”

Frodo seeing Bilbo’s things in the new house and being “sharply reminded” of him :-C Hello it is once again Crying About Frodo and Bilbo O’Clock

BATH SECTION YEAAAAAHHHH

“Which order shall we go in? Eldest first or quickest first? You’ll be last either way, Master Peregrin.” HAHAHA GETTIM FRODO

And Merry like “excuuuuse me, you should know by now that I’m better at planning and logistics than that; there are THREE tubs >8-D”

And Pippin splashing Frodo with the bath water 🤣 This whole section is so stinkin’ CUTE

I, too, cannot properly dry my hair until I am out of the steam in the bathroom. Frodo is the most relatable ever.

Merry has such dad energy 🤣 “You’d better clean up your mess, Pippin, before you get any supper!”

The squabbling over the mushrooms haha

Ooooohh The Talk is here

It honestly makes so much sense that Pippin is the one talking when Frodo refuses to. Frodo is trying to keep secrets, and Pippin has zero filter.

Also Merry reading Frodo like a book is SO GOOD

“You are miserable, because you don’t know how to say good-bye. You meant to leave the Shire, of course. But danger has come on you sooner than you expected, and now you are making up your mind to go at once. And you don’t want to. We are very sorry for you.”

THAT’S MY SMART BOI

I can’t wait to draw this part

“You do not understand! You must go—and therefore we must, too. Merry and I are coming with you. Sam is an excellent fellow, and would jump down a dragon’s throat to save you, if he did not trip over his own feet; but you will need more than one companion in your dangerous adventure.” Awww, Pippin!!

Also the foreshadowing, wow

Hahaha Merry presenting Sam like “TA-DA! Our chief spy!!”

Sam: “Gandalf did say to take someone you could trust, sir!” Frodo: “But I can’t trust anyone, apparently!” Sam: :-C

Oh oh oh it’s this part…!!

“It all depends on what you want. You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin - to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours - closer than you can keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo. Anyway: there it is. We know most of what Gandalf has told you. We know a good deal about the Ring. We are horribly afraid - but we are coming with you; or following you like hounds.”

MERRY MY LAD I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

That’s true friendship right there

Frodo like “I am NEVER trusting that you are actually asleep ever again” 🤣

“Three cheers for Captain Frodo and Company!” I’m going to melt 🥹

Merry once again being the G.O.A.T. by having the ponies prepared

“It seems to have been a very efficient conspiracy.” HECK YEAH IT WAS

I love that Fatty has barely talked through the whole chapter except to blurt “NOT THE OLD FOREST” at the very end

Merry continues to have Dad Energy by breaking up the almost-argument between Pippin and Fatty

Oooof the dream about the Sea…

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 28 ramble

i have coviddd so i get to listen to the episode nowww instead of after school (i am dying)

my sister is playing loz botw rn and needs my help so i am gonna multi task in the sense that i will be so zoned out

i hope we see trevor herbert in this one i will CACKLE

oh my god immediately LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

HOLY SHIT IT REALLY IS HIM

these are too many words about things i don't understand i am so covid core

a.. diverse photo... 💀

sam just making scared "uhhh.." i love him

oh wow that was very minimal for all of that work, sounds about right

intervene?

WHAT? A MURDER SUSPECT? WHO? GWEN? OR CELIA? or is it colin but he's like in jail. oh yeah ok it was gwen related it's about ink5oul

this is really hard to take seriously knowing trevor was a mass vampire murderer in another universe like yea sure dude. sure man.

alice you were right babe what were you right about though

oh yea obviously the minister doesn't know anything

PANN!!!! PAN CELIA!!!!! WE WIN

"you have no idea" LMAOOOOO????? MYSTERIOUS ORIGINS WITH THE DEAD SILENCE AFTER. NO FUCKING WAY

oh my god sam oh my god sam oh my god sam you've finally done it you've finally asked

?? jeremy? jeremy's granddaughter? jeremy bouchard? jeremy bouchard? ? ? ?

"lena's lying to you" LMAOOOO WAIT NOOO GWEN NO GWENNY DON'T GET HER FIRED NO PLEASE WAIT THIS IS UNFAIR GWEN PLEASE HER JOB SHE NEEDS HER JOB DON'T GET LENA FIRED WHO IS THE. WHO IS THE THIRD PARTY?

oh god so this is bad

SAM WHAT??? HELLO??? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIS CAR LMFAOOOO

OH MY GOD

oh my god oh my god oh my god THE ARCHIVIST IS THERE OH FUCK

OH MY HOLY FUCKING SHIT. GWEN HELP HIM????? GWENNY I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE BABE HELP HIM

saul? joy? interesting..

gilbert... the lore drop is going crazy i hope sam is okay after this

sam you bit a kid? LMAO? oh these questions are creepy and i'm scared for him

dr. f welling? i don't recognize ANY of these na... CHANTING? SAM? oh this poor traumatized child

ok i kinda get why he's so obsessed now and i feel very bad. but also if this was me i would never ever think about this place again and forcefully move on

sam baby no i would have left three horrible things ago

oh? sam's parents were rejected? i'm so scared for him wtf.

SAM? DID HE JUST COLLAPSE?? BABE???

i need to know who this archivist is oh my god and i also need to know sam is okay

[seriouslysam8]

I don’t know about others, but I think the relationship dynamics between Harry and James, as well as Ginny and James, make perfect sense. Harry understands James in a way Ginny simply can’t, he’s been through similar struggles and knows what his son needs. He understands James’s difficulty in trusting others, his discomfort with physical affection, and his need for constant reassurance and information. It’s a heartbreaking connection, built on child trauma.

That doesn’t mean Ginny lacks a bond with her son. You can see her fierce, protective love in the way she wants to tear his kidnappers apart and hold him close until he’s not scared. But she also knows that’s not what James needs right now. Because she’s known Harry since she was ten, she recognizes the same patterns in their son. She understands that if she pushes too hard, James will only pull away, and that’s the last thing they want. So she’s giving him space, letting him rebuild trust on his own terms, while also showing him, through her actions, that they love him and respect his boundaries.

And when those walls finally come down, when James finally feels safe again, I have no doubt Ginny will shower him with all the hugs, kisses, and affection she’s holding back. Right now, Harry is taking the lead, using his own experiences to guide James the things going on in his head. But once that trust is established, Ginny will step in to remind their son just how deeply he is loved and how much they missed him. That’s what makes Hinny such a perfect pair, they work very well together, and also know when to step back and let the other take the lead. I think you’ve done a fab job at showing that with this story Sam! 💕

💯 💯💯

Ginny wants James to heal from everything. She knows Harry can connect with him on a level that no one else can, even if it’s Harry that James is most scared of.

So, yeah, Ginny is holding back and she’s the one grabbing them food to eat in the tea room so Harry can try to gauge why he’s searching for them late at night. She also knows Harry needs control over the situation, even explaining to James about his hero complex and what that means.

At the end of the day, you’re right, Ginny will smother him with affection when he’s ready. But he’s not ready yet. He’s scared, confused, and so severely brainwashed that she’s drowning in what to do to help him while Harry can relate to him and he can just barely keep his head above water.

In a way, it was the same way with Molly. It took everything she had in her not to coddle James, but she (like Ginny) knew that’s not what James needed. The entire Weasley family gets it. They’re all lingering, waiting, being supportive to Hinny. The support that family is giving makes me want to ugly cry. I want a family like that.

[lingulaca]

Pre-canon Jonsa is just like. Jon and Sansa being into each other prior to the events of the books. It’s not appealing to me one because they are just too young for me to be invested. Even at the current point in the books I have trouble caring that much about ships within that age bracket because they’re teenagers. But I also find that almost all pre canon Jonsa is just Jon having a crush on Sansa while she doesn’t see him that way and he’s angsty because she’s his ideal woman and he thinks he doesn’t deserve her and I just find that trope very tired and boring.

Anyway I’m curious what puts you off of Jon/Dany! I see why other people don’t like it and tbh I also only like it in certain scenarios. Most depictions are kind of boring and it just sucked in the show. The actors had no chemistry and didn’t sell it. I need them to like. Fake their deaths and escape the trappings of the chosen one narrative and escape together in order to enjoy it. Like you said, we all have our ideal versions of ships (:

Also very big on Sansa/Sam and Sansa/Pod if you have thoughts on those

ah okay, i figured pre canon jonsa was that i just didn't know for sure. thanks for explaining. yeah it seems nice but like you said they'd be too young for me to really care about that or content of it. when i was younger ik for sure pre canon jonsa would've been my jam tho as long as all that angst shit isn't involved. i hate reading angst of any kind, but angst in the way you described would be even worse for me to read because it's unrequited love, something i avoid like the plague in all media, but also they're cousins and that would be so awkward because if sansa rejects jon they're gonna have to see each other all the time cuz they're related😭 ! if not that, they're still eternally tied to each other which, i'm realizing in real time that that's my main reason for shipping jonsa. that eternal tie. hm. honestly not that surprising given that that's like kinda what floats my boat about the whole incest thing.

ok so, jonerys. i'll start with two little disclaimers

i have nothing against the shippers, they didn't do anything to influence my dislike of the ship and i barely have an opinion on them

what i'm about to say might give the impression that i don't like jon very much; i promise that's not the case. i love jon, he's my fictional bestie me & him r like this 🤞🏾

daenerys will be queen (as in i feel like that'll happen canonically and that's also a part of my ideal au) and jon kinda sorta needs to stay in the north so he can do winter stuff, how is he gonna be her king consort? that aside, jon never ever gave king consort vibes. that's part of what made me dislike jonsa.

additionally, i'm usually a multishipper yk? like, i can ship daemon with nettles but also rhaenyra. i can ship jace with baela, fanon!aegon, luke, and cregan. i can ship rhaenys and visenya singularly but also them with aegon. i can ship lancel and daenerys (crackship) but also most of these characters with... myself i guess? if that counts? and i can usually ignore logic and canon when it comes to ships because fuck canon and fuck logic. you get the point. jonsa is one of the few ships where i cannot ship either of them with anyone else. ideally, they wouldn't even have romantic tension with anyone else. like, who else belongs with sansa other than jon? who else belongs with jon other than sansa? no one i can think of. this isn't to say that i hate other ships featuring jon or sansa, they just don't click in my mind romantically. in the sense of a "platonic soulmates" type thing, sansa x sam is one that i'm warming up to surprisingly. it's just cute, that's my whole reason for suddenly liking it after all this time. sansa x pod is one i never really hear about but i'm open to it. nothing really drives me away from it, so why not?

i appreciate your ask <3

[midnaspeaks]

I HAVE TO RANT ABOUT EPISODE 10.

Okay so I just watched episode 10 of Drag Race, including the untucked. THIS SHIT HAS ME SOOOO FUCKING PISSED! Now I love my Jewels Sparkles, and personally she's my number one cuz yasss tampa girlies! But even if she wasn't my top pick, the way these queens treated her over some of the dumbest shit in the universe had me flying up the fucking roof. Also Onya Nerve has always been a top girlie for me too but the way she stood up for Jewels?!?! WE LOVE SISTERHOOD! Anyways, Lexi Love starting off the fight with some "What about me being hurt?" HURT ABOUT WHAT ???? ABOUT UR FUCKING PLACEMENT???? That shit sounded a little insane when YOU were the one constantly attacking the one...that...gave...you....the placement...you...wanted. Now I can't get tooooo too mad at my queen Lexi because I did understand when she talked about her hormones and how her emotions get all over the place, that I can see. At the same time it's just like.... you need to check yourself at some point before you start sounding crazy, from one emotional bitch to another. I also appreciated how SHE was the first to apologize first, when she wasn't even the main culprit. Speaking of....

FUCK. ARRIETTY. YOU'RE MAD YOU ONLY DO PRETTY LOOKS AND CAN'T BE FUCKIN FUNNY? AND NOW YOU WANNA MAKE IT JEWEL'S PROBLEM??? SERIOUSLY?? THIS IS PATHETIC!!!! As an anxiety-ridden bitch I have no problem in saying this; do not EVER try to have a cunt bitch personality when you can't deliver a 5 word sentence to an audience without stopping yourself and awkwardly CACKLING to try and garner some pity giggles. Thinking you were doing something by stealing your supposed "friends" jokes?? Yeah she struggled because of that but she STILL ended up doing better than whatever the fuck YOU did! I hate a bitch that knows they have a weak spot in a certain criteria, and instead of improving on that weakness and looking to others for help, you wanna go ahead and blame the closest person you had and make her out to be a piece of shit for... what exactly? Making you go second and her go AFTER you? To me, that shows that Jewels really wanted you to get out of your head and make a funny roast! Onya and Sam had a good point too, after your roast why would you give a flying FUCK who goes after you????? This is so hard for me to type because I have beeeeen an Arrietty fan since the beginning, but having this unfunny bitch just dogpile on her supposed best friend and then proceed to ACTUALLY sabotage her too?? Great you got your extra points of fame before you got sent home! If that was the goal then condragulations girl...

I feel so strongly about this episode because I can relate to this type of argument and borderline bullying SOOOOO fucking much. Jewels was not being fake by just saying it wasn't her intention to do anything bad, and even if she did boo fucking hoo why are yall so up y'alls ass about PLACEMENTS??? That shows a LOT about how you're going to perform than Jewels honestly. Susie was right!

DONTTTT EVEN GET ME STARTED WHEN ARRIETTY TRIED COMING FOR ONYA. GIRL I NEEDED TO RIP THRU MY FUCKING MONITOR AND STRANGLE THIS BITCH MYSELF! You have the AUDACITY to say Onya shouldn't be in this conversation when Jewels is very obviously not going to feed into your petty and cunty argument ????? I would've done the same damn thing! ONYA REALLY CLOCKED IT WHEN SHE SAID "YOU LEFT YOUR FRIEND! SHE SAT NEXT TO ME BITCH!" LIKE YEAH! YOU DID THAT! "Awe wahhh Jewels you put yourself after me so that means I'm really gnna do bad and you're gnna be better wahhh I'm moving seats" like girl really. Her saying too that Onya is trying to "steal this moment for herself"????? I mean she is right on that, all of Onya's points made sense and she really ate yall the fuck up! Then at the very end you wanna start a pity party with yourself and crying how Jewels set you up and protected everyone else. Just like Sam said, put on your makeup because it is never. That. Fucking. Serious! (which is ironic because I am making a whole damn rant about a purposefully overexaggerated argument between people I don't know lolz)

At the end of the day I'm glad Arrietty went home because she needed that reality check of getting your nerves together before you come on to Drag Race. That roast was like my 7th grade nutritional wellness class presentation on random health facts. You cannot just be pretty and make really nice gowns mama, you need curtains that match the drapes!

[collegetennisoriginstory]

(same anon as about the difference in m&f ROs & attraction) Thank you for your reply! It was an interesting read. I will add that some of what I was thinking about was also based on fashion choices and looks (based on the previous art breeder images) - f!G and f!Sam both looked aesthetically very feminine to me, which is not my style, while if I remember correctly from a different post f!Rayyan dresses more sporty/masc-leaning/gender neutral. But behavior/personality/energy is also an important part of this of course. I don't know if the characters themselves would identify as more feminine or masculine, if either (or if the art breeders even were a very good representation re: make up and styling and such)... but it's something that really affects my own attraction to ROs, so I sort of go off whatever impressions I get when it comes to that! Things like, "would this woman wear a dress or not" and long versus short hair and styling etc... Like, for even more context, my ideal female ROs are butches and studs -- but those specific identities are extremely hard to find in anything hahah...

Ooohhh that totally makes sense. I go into more detail on how I picture the F!RO styles in (slight) relation to the ask, but let me know if you guys are interested in M!RO styles too.

I'd say F!Rayyan definitely dresses more masc (a longstanding sore spot with their traditional muslim parents) BUT as I mentioned previously, in casual "civilian" clothes, F!Rayyan does wear a headscarf at the very least, and tries to avoid outfits that show their midriff. Just a nod to their upbringing. They go for a more outdoorsy/tough look.

But yeah f!Tobin doesn't dress femme per se, in casual clothes they'd be just as likely to wear something like a simple t shirt and jeans or a thrift store find, but they clean up nicely and would go to say, a formal event in something more femme, like a low cut v-neck dress. They go for comfort, yes, but of all the f!ROs they're probably the most stylish (perhaps tied with G when G is "trying".)

F!Sam's eclectic in their dressing and goes through different phases / is versatile in their style, but I'd say their go-to is something a little more casual/nerdy/laidback, like graphic tees with funny slogans, video game/book references, and/or something fun and unique.

F!G straddles edgy-chic (leather jackets and skinny torn jeans) with femme-chic, can rock anything from boots and a pantsuit to a full-on femme fatale gown to an ordinary cotton shirt /jeans combo.

[celestial-castiel]

supernatural 13×03-04

aw yay Missouri and Jody :]]

"not sure which one to hug first" awwee Dean and his moms :]

ough Dean still looks so tired and sad. same hon, same.

oh shit

NOOO

:[[

i think I can see the line from the dudes bald cap-

oh yeah beat his creepy ass

lol Sam is so stressed with Jack, bud you can chill

man Jack is just a few weeks old and he's speedrunning teenage depression :[

hug him pls

aw Sam can be a decent parent-- awwww. ok that's a great scene but WHY DIDNT YOU HUG HIM

i am living for Jody's comforting touches with Dean, like just putting her hand on his arm or shoulder. she's so very much his mom ;-; AND HE'S NOT BOTHERED. he wouldn't be okay with most people doing that.

uh oh

what the fuck no-- ohh right yeah cause psychic ok

oh yeah. Dean's extra depressed now. man :[ why can't my fav guy just not be miserable for a little while. why must he be tortured. stop making him more relatable. less relatable please.

it's interesting how Dean and Sam's conversations and arguments have changed. Dean actually listens to him more, Sam actually gets louder and more bold and doesn't just back down, and Dean just says his side of it but doesn't try to just shut him down or anything.

oh boy. Dean honey you are projecting so hard.

"I can hardly look at the kid. cause when I do, all I see is everybody we've lost" ohhhh honey-

"-and you know what that got him? it got him DEAD. now you might be able to forget about that, but I CAN'T" aaaaaaaa goddddd fucking hell he's so fucking devastated and furious about Castiel, I can't even-

omg yay hi

now give him back please

so basically Dean is very not okay without Cas.

spn 13×04

alrighty, fun, stabbing right off the bat. s'probably bad.

Dean you gotta stop lashing out when you're upset. tis not helping anyone.

Sam is doing a surprisingly decent job handling all this. it would help if he explained more to Jack why Dean has such issues with him. dude is really hurting, and he struggles with seeing the line between dealing with monsters and dealing with Jack, he doesn't know how to handle it.

"you're starting to sound like dad" "that a bad thing?" GIRL YOU KNOW FULL FUCKIN WELL THATS A BAD THING. HAVE YOU MET YOUR DAD?

"what gets burned stays dead" weeeelllllll..

ooh gloopy

lol Dean is just so bad at this right now

ugh Jack is adorable

Dean. come on bud

i do love his bitchy smile though

oh yikes okay

Dean hard-core redirects his pain. he gets petty and dismissive and turns things back on others as a defense. he pretends everything is fine when it's terrible, except when he suddenly gets very honest and weaponizes it. bestie is not okay. these are not healthy ways of coping.

oh fun weird Empty Cas

what the hell is that man's voice range, it is unsettling (not negative btw I'm just freaked out lol)

god his weird villain voice is so off-putting HOW IS THAT HIS VOICE??

reminds me of Niles from Frasier lol

im so often reminded of how good Jensen Ackles is at acting. he's so great with doing Dean's mannerisms and expressions. and I love picking up on Dean's expressions, they perfectly fit his emotions and make him so readable. I don't know if that made sense

who else does empty cas sound like? I can't think of who it is-

NO DON'T TORTURE CAS YOU BITCH

aw Jack bby :<

oooo Jack being relatable as neurodivergent. feeling like there must be something wrong with you because you didn't feel what you think you're supposed to? yeahhhh. welcome to our world babes

why is his smile the cutest thing ever

oh shit Dean

mm gross

Cas is not havin a fun time either

ough good, glad Dean's realizing he was a dick

oh boy Dean's scared/pleading eyes are deadly. oh he is full on hopeless

💔

CAS

AND HIS REGULAR BLUE TIE

hell yeah

alright too tired to watch more tonight

basically we love Jack. and want to hug Dean. he needs his person back so bad

[foxesfantasys]

Double Trouble AU: Still a C student

Life after Danny’s portal accident was anything but normal, that being said there were no problems between Fenton and Phantom. Rather the trouble came with everyone else.

Sam and Tucker were pretty freaked for a while after. It got a bit better in time but Phantom can still see they feel more comfortable around Fenton than with him. As for Jazz and their parents? Well of course Danny decided that they couldn’t tell their parents about this development, Maddie and Jack being as ghost crazed as they are, and who knows how Jazz would react to the news that he technically died.

It was easy to keep Phantom hidden from their family with his invisibility but that doesn’t mean it’s all smooth sailing. Jazz is always more preoccupied with scolding their parents to really notice anything amiss with her little brothers brother, and so far their parents have been dismissing their tech reacting to their son as software bugs.

Despite all that, Fenton can’t help but pity his ghost every time they are unfortunate enough to witness a demonstration of their parents newest inventions. He and Phantom are separate, their experiences are their own unless they choose to share it with each other, but they are still one person, still Danny. It’s clear in the way that Fenton can feel prickles of terror not his own each time their parents talk about catching a ghost. Clear in the contented warmth that gathers in his chest when it’s just he and Phantom in their room after a long day. Even in the pangs of frustration and confusion that ripple in his head when they try to work through their homework.

Phantom is ok. It’s fine that their parents would possibly end him on sight, or worse. It’s fine. Really. He’s completely fine. He knows that Fenton wouldn’t let anything happen to him, that he’s safe from their parents so long as they stay close. Fenton always does his best to reassure him when their parents get a bit too close for comfort, always makes sure he knows he’s safe, he really appreciates that. And it’s not like it’s all bad staying in the Fenton household as a ghost!

Now that there’s two Danny’s their chores get done in half the time, they even split it evenly between the two of them. Phantom does the chores that his powers make significantly easier and Fenton does the chores that were already pretty simple and easy to do. The only exception to this is when it comes to lab-related chores, which Fenton absolutely refuses to let Phantom do.

“It’s not safe with all their junk laying around.” Fenton had reasoned when his ghost insisted he could help.

It made the ghost huff in offence and cross his arms like a petulant child as he float there. “Yeah that’s exactly why I should be the one to do it!” Phantom argued, “I’m already dead, it makes way more sense that I be the one to deal with the dangerous stuff!”

But the human boy wouldn’t relent, insisting that he handle anything involving the lab filled to the brim with ghost hunting equipment. It’s the closest the Danny’s have ever been to a fight, but fortunately it never reached that stage. Neither of them wanted to figure out how to explain something like that to Sam and Tucker when they inevitably noticed something was up with their friend. Both versions of him.

So with two Danny’s on the case chores became way easier, and so did most things. Education was not one of those things. You know that saying, two heads are better than one? Well Danny does and it turns out it’s a complete lie! Ok, maybe not a complete lie. But still very misleading!

Considering there was two of them, Fenton and Phantom thought for sure their grades would get way higher, after all there’s two of them now, double the focus! Literally two heads! Yeah, no. As it happens that is not how things went. If anything Fenton would argue that their focus is even worse now and they’re lucky that they are still getting Cs.

Sam seemed to find their dismay at the revelation quite amusing. In hindsight it does make more sense that splitting one person into two would half their attention span rather than double it, but the Danny’s agree to keep that between them. No way were they gonna give the goth girl the satisfaction of being right.

Even though it didn’t seem to make much difference either way Fenton and Phantom still worked together on every test and stack of homework that got sent their way. “It’s just more fun that way,” they had answered in unison when Tucker had asked.

“Even if it’s not improving my grades, it doesn’t suck as much when I’ve got a partner,” Fenton explained when they only received a confused expression in return.

Phantom nods along with his human half in full agreement. “Sometimes it’s even kinda fun!” He adds with glee.

Both their friends share a confused look but Danny doesn’t mind, his friends don’t get it but they don’t expect them to. He thinks maybe this is something you can only understand through experience.

Danny is still a C student, but who cares about a letter anyway? He has something far better.

So chores are way easier and school work still sucks. Being separated like they are might not be helping their grades, but it has provided an easy way to get back at a certain jock.

It wasn’t exactly a secret that Danny had been in an accident involving some of his parents tech, so naturally all of Casper High knew. Amity Park isn’t exactly a big place, news travels fast, especially when it involves the Fentons and a hospital trip. Most of the A-listers took some kind of pity on Fenton because of this, everyone in fact. Everyone except Dash.

The news of the Fenton accident didn’t deter the bully at all.

Everyday Dash would corner Fenton in one hallway or another and take out some frustrations on the boy, and usually this would be all, Danny helpless to stop the daily harassment and abuse without incurring further problems. But now he has Phantom with him.

So now every time Dash try’s to corner Fenton, malice and violence on his mind, his laces might mysteriously get tied together. He might trip and land on his face. He might be chased down the hall by the floating football he had been carrying only a moment before. He might suddenly need a belt.

The different ways Phantom drove away the bully always managed to get a chuckle from Fenton, and the decrease in bruising was very appreciated.

It also inspired Fenton and Phantom to try pranking, much to the displeasure of their victims. As it turned out having two people working on it, one being a ghost, made the whole pranking thing a bit too easy.

How do you avoid an invisible pie? Sure it’s suspicious that Danny suddenly wants you to show him some of your psychology books, but the door is locked so how could there be a bucket of water ready to be tipped over your head? Surely you’re just imagining that plant moving, you must’ve forgot to pick it up before, Danny isn’t close enough to have moved it and there’s nobody else around.

Needless to say nobody was pleased with Danny’s new found love for practical jokes. But boy did the two sets of giggles that their jokes always caused give them reason to tolerate it.

It seemed like there were no downsides to this situation! Fenton got to keep living his life, maybe even better than they did before, and Phantom got to keep being Danny, as well as taking some long overdue revenge when necessary.

Everything seemed so much better now. Danny was happy, both of them were happy.

They’re still a C student, but they’re happy and that’s what matters.