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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 10 months

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After All Is Said And Done

Masterlist After the events of the winter holidays and Jamil’s manipulation, you and your friends are left to pick up the pieces.

Warning: I write the reader as female. Also the reader celebrates Christmas.

Includes: Angst, Female Prefect!Reader, Book 4 Spoilers, references to PTSD and depression, Jamil x Reader if you squint, platonic Ace x Reader x Deuce but can be read as pre-romantic

Honestly, after writing this, I’m thinking about writing a version with Riddle, Azul, Vil and Malleus...

You know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

- Elton John, I’m Still Standing

“Hey Y/N, there’s another one,” Grim called out from the doorstep. You can feel your stomach sink, already knowing just what was left at your door.

“Ugh,” Ace groaned in disgust, “you’d think that he’d give up after all this time.”

You mentally agreed. Ever since the incident in Scarabia during the winter holidays, Kalim has been making an effort to invite you to his parties. Eagerly calling out your name whenever he spots you and enthusiastically telling you to come join him, listing all of the food and music he’d love to share with you. You have to admit, you did have a soft spot for the young heir, his genuine wholesomeness making it impossible for you to outright dislike him. It’s clear as day that his kindness is authentic, that he actually does want to spend time with you and wishes to bring you enjoyment. The kicked puppy look he gives you every time you politely turn him down with a new excuse each time does take a stab at your conscience but you can’t help it. Every time you think about the possibility of stepping into that dorm your mind reels with memories of darkened rooms, harsh reprimands, agonisingly scalding marches, banging on doors until your hands bruised and screaming for someone, anyone, to let you out until your throat ached.

“Just burn it, Grim, you know the drill,” Deuce told the feline, his face twisted into annoyance.

“Hell yeah,” Grim crows in triumph, about to summon one of his beloved fire blasts before Ace swiped the ornately detailed paper from his paws and unceremoniously threw it into your fireplace not even giving it a glance as the flames burned it to ash.

“Don’t even bother,” Ace said, “stuff like this isn’t worth anyone’s time and effort. At least it can be used to kindle the fire for s’mores now.”

You looked at Ace and Deuce and you thanked The Seven for having such amazing friends. Whilst the uncomfortable twisting in your stomach still remained, their obvious attempt at helping you definitely alleviated it.

The previous winter holidays made it clear just how much they cared about you. The moment that they realised that something was wrong, they put aside their differences and used their own resources to personally check up on you. Granted, you would have appreciated it more if they arrived a few days earlier whilst you were still being kept prisoner but the warmth you felt inside at seeing such friendly faces after so long made up for everything.

When Ace and Deuce had entered Ramshackle with Grim one afternoon to prepare for another impromptu sleepover, with bags of groceries and overnight things in their arms, they were surprised to find it completely silent. Apart from the scuttling and twittering of woodland creatures, the moaning of old pipes and the nervous whispering of the apparitions that lived with you, it was disturbingly quiet.

They felt a collective chill go up their spines, though whether that was due to the lack of heat in this abandoned building, the growing fear that something is wrong with you or the presence of undead spirits huddled up in your living room was unknown.

The ghosts’ head shot up at the sounds of the door creaking closed behind them and the thuds of the boys dropping their bags onto the floor, frazzled worry lining their wispy white non-corporeal forms as they floated towards them. Their clear agitation did absolutely nothing to soothe the trio’s growing anxiety.

“You youngins’ are here for Y/N right?” one of them asked.

“Yeah, we are,” Ace replied, his voice coming out more harsh and aggressive to mask the growing dread.

“Is something wrong?” Deuce’s voice, on the other hand, clearly conveyed every inch of fear that he felt.

“We don’t know,” a taller ghost stated, “we haven’t seen Little Miss in ages.”

“All this time she’s been in her room, without a peep,” another butted in, “it’s been hours and she hasn’t even come down for dinner.”

“And you didn’t think to check on her?!” Ace said angrily, “she could be in trouble.”

“We can’t go in there!” the shortest of them explained defensively, “that’s a lady’s room.”

“And even if we could, what’s the point?” the first one elaborated, “it’s not like we have bodies that can help her.”

“Please go see her,” the second implored, “we’re worried.”

“You really care about her, huh?” Ace noted, seeing the panicked, begging looks that were being directed at them.

“Of course we do,” a ghost stated matter-of-factly, “Little Miss is family.”

“Maybe it’s nothing,” Deuce said after a beat of silence, trying to calm himself and everyone else, “maybe she’s just sleeping?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Grim was quick to jump to that conclusion, any conclusion that wasn’t the fact that his beloved henchman is in trouble, “Henchman’s just conked out. She’s fine.”

Despite his cheery words, he couldn’t help the pit forming in his stomach, a deep hole that not even tuna could satisfy. The three of them looked at each other before running up the creaking stairs, with Deuce throwing the ghosts a quick thank you. As they reached the top and made their way down the corridor and towards your bedroom, they could faintly hear the sound of rushing water getting louder and louder. In spite of the darkness enshrouding the passageway, your room appeared to be fully lit, if the hazy golden glow peeking out from under your door was any indication.

With a firm twist, Ace banged open the door, completely ignoring the sound of it ricocheting off of its adjacent wall in his hurry to see you, only to find your room completely bare of any life. Noticing that the door to the attached bathroom was wide open, the trio rushed towards it only to stand frozen at the doorway.

The sight they were met with was you, sitting hunched up in your bathtub, still fully clothed sans your socks and shoes. Your shower was still on, sending streams of water down towards your crouched figure, completely drenching you.

“Y/N!” the three of them yelled, racing towards you. Grim jumped into your arms, getting on his hind legs so that he could paw at your shoulder and face, doing whatever his tiny hands could do to get you to notice him. Deuce did the same, stepping into the bathtub whilst Ace turned off the spray of water so that he could grip your shoulders and shake you whilst whisper-shouting your name. Still, you did not react, the only result of their attempts to stir you were your eyes laxly opening at their sudden manhandling, causing them to cease their jostling.

You looked less like a human and more like a marionette who had been cut from its strings. Your eyes, that were usually glowing with personality, all bright, fierce and lively, were currently dull, glassy and doll-like, all dim and staring without seeing. The only confirmation they had that their best friend was not a corpse were the small, dainty, robotic blinks of them and the way your chest would softly rise and fall.

“The hell, Deuce,” Ace looked more worried than he did before - and considering the amount of near death experiences he’s been through with you, that’s saying a lot, “what are we supposed to do?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?!” Grim exclaimed fiercely, not moving from where he was nestled against your cold, drenched chest, “Henchman needs you!”

“I know-I know,” Deuce was quick to appease him, “why don’t we start by getting her out of here and into something warm? Then we can figure out what to do.”

And so he brought you up into a bridal carry. Usually being so close to you would’ve flustered him beyond belief, his shyness around girls amplified around you despite all that you’ve been through together, especially now that the shower water made your soaked clothes stick onto you like a second skin and making certain aspects of your femininity more obvious but his need to help you was far stronger than any bashfulness he had.

He was scared - they all were. To see someone strong enough to fight overblots, to stand by their side and boldly face down the monsters in the mines, to live in this world that they are both literally and figuratively at the bottom of the food chain, so broken was nothing but haunting, a horrific sight that they’ll never be able to unsee.

Ace opened up your closet, grabbing some towels and a pair of pyjamas that he tossed onto your bed, as Deuce carried you to your bedroom, your head resting against the curve of your shoulder before gently placing you down onto your duvet.

“Let’s get you dried up, okay,” Ace cooed at you, smiling softly and speaking with a gentleness that surprised even him. He began to swipe a towel over your sodden frame as Deuce got to work gently drying your hair from behind you and Grim nuzzled, whined and purred against your lap.

“The ghosts told us that you haven’t eaten dinner,” Deuce murmured, “you should change into some dry clothes whilst we go and get you something.”

He got up from your bed and made a move to leave but your hand shot out and grasped onto the hem of his shirt. You continued to look down, not meeting anyone’s eyes as your shaking voice whispered, “don’t go.”

“Y/N, you’re drenched,” Ace said, “and you haven’t had anything in a while. We’ll be just downstairs and we won’t be gone for long.”

“Stay. Please,” your voice was weak and your eyes downcast, “don’t wanna be alone.”

The card soldiers gave each other a look before nodding and climbing onto your bed so that they sat as close to you as possible. You immediately cuddled up to them, allowing yourself to get enveloped by their touch.

“What’s wrong with me?” you whisper.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Y/N,” Deuce soothed you, gently stroking your head and back like you would a wounded animal.

“Yeah,” Ace agreed with his rival, “it’s everyone else here that’s messed up.”

“Then why,” you did nothing to stop the tears from falling, your words coming out choked from the way your throat was constricting, “then why does all of this keep on happening to me?”

“I don’t know,” the red head sighed in defeat, continuing his ministrations on you.

You said nothing, allowing them to embrace you as you buried your face into their bodies, letting their clothes and Grim’s fur soak up your tears and muffled sobs.

It didn’t go unnoticed how your companions became even more protective of you after that incident. Wherever you went, they would flank you like guard dogs, shielding you from the rest of NRC and directing a glare at anyone who so much as looked at you. After hearing about how uncomfortable you felt being around certain people, they were on the lookout, not-so-sublty steering your body away from anyone they deemed unworthy of being within your gaze (you could’ve sworn that you heard Grim hiss at some students a few times).

It wasn’t just them. Your family of ghosts also made an effort to check in on you. Even when you couldn’t see them, you could feel them hovering near you in another room, making sure that you looked after yourself, gently reminding you to eat, sleep and rest. They called you over more often to join them in games, sharing stories and jokes, making sure not to mention anything that they felt could upset you.

Your past self - the person you were before your entrance to NRC, a person that now seemed almost like a stranger to you - would’ve found it smothering, almost demeaning at how they’re affections seemed to infantilise you but now, all you can think of is how much their presence comforts you, how loved they make you feel. It made you feel seen and heard, that at least the small handful of allies in your tight inner circle care enough to consider your feelings instead of sweeping them under the rug like everyone else. Like how a few words here and there and a few taps on the wrist were enough to clean up the mess that was the last overblot.

When the dust settled and all was said and done, everyone else partied whilst you were left hurt and broken and once again left to pick up the pieces of your shattered self.

It’s like your body is in constant fight or flight mode, with someone’s fist persistently banging on the ‘flight’ switch. Despite the anxiety and fear buzzing in you whenever you take a step outside, you feel constantly tired, both physically and mentally, your head feels like it’s perpetually submerged underwater and every bite of food you take tastes like sandpaper. ‘Down’ is the only word you can think of to describe yourself. Just chronically down - buried deep, deep underground with no way of clawing back onto the surface. It didn’t matter where you were or who you’re with, all you can hear is your mind constantly screaming at you that you’re in danger. No matter how many times they tried, the combined efforts of your new found family still couldn’t drive away the intrusive thoughts that crept up on you, the dark cloud of foreboding that would hover over you, the cold stare of the Grim Reaper that would follow you. Waiting.

You couldn’t fault Jamil for his overblot. Despite the pains of your heart, the logic of your mind knew that he wasn’t truly to blame for tossing you to the ends of Scarabia, for leaving you shivering in the freezing blizzard, your body numbing from its close brush with hypothermia, for sending projectile after projectile after you with the intent to maim, the intent to kill, for leaving the imprints of snake fangs in your body as companions to the myriad of other scars that were gifted to you from him and the overblots that came before. It didn’t take a genius to know that everything he did whilst covered in that disgustingly sticky black ink (the ink that will now and forever be a recurring character in your dreams) wasn’t under his complete control, no matter what your nightmares and the sinister voices that would whisper in your ear during the dead of night told you.

But you allowed yourself to blame him for everything that happened before his subsequent descent into madness; for kidnapping you, hypnotising you, locking you up in a dark room against your will, keeping you away from the only people (and ghosts) that actually cared about you and prevented you from contacting anyone.

You didn’t blame him for wanting freedom, for holding bitterness because of the cards he was dealt with, you just wished that he didn’t sacrifice your wellbeing in his schemes.

Whilst you did hate him for hypnotising you - in this world you already lost so much control of your life, he had to go ahead and take away even more of it - you resent him even more for manipulating you, for feigning affection in a world that gave you anything but, for using you, exploiting your weaknesses and the fact that you had no one apart from Ace, Deuce and Grim to call a friend.

Whilst Christmas doesn’t exist in this world, you made sure to make plans with your family in Ramshackle - you actually had fun detailing all that you were going to do with the ghosts and Grim: coming up with a menu, making or buying hand puppets to create your own Punch and Judy style panto, asking Sam to stock up on this world’s version of Christmas crackers, and just doing what you can to forget the fact that your friends and family are in a whole other world with no way to even give them glad tidings - but instead you spent it marching in the hot desert, contracting heat exhaustion, fainting due to said heat exhaustion when Kalim (actually Jamil) deprives you of any treatment despite your pleads and complaints, slurring your words and vomiting as you tried to ignore the worst migraine of your life and then spending half an hour breaking down into sobbing fits as you were once again imprisoned in that horrid room.

He made you believe that he was a friend, someone you could rely on. When you lost consciousness in the scorching desert, he gave you medicine and treated you to relieve the pain; when you felt confused and hurt by Kalim’s Jekyll-and Hyde-like behaviour and in anguish over not being able to leave, he provided a sympathetic ear and comforting smile as he gave you words of solace. But it was all a lie; you were suffering in the desert because of him, Kalim was hostile to you because of him, you were chased, treated horribly by the Scarabians and locked up against your will because of him.

All the torment you felt was because of him.

When you asked the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle and his underlings for help, you felt sick to your stomach, like scorching acid was leaving your mouth instead of words, at the very idea of having to ask the ones who conspired to make you homeless for help. But you had no choice, and the fact that he put you in a position where you had to go to people that you would rather die than ever associate with again makes you hate him even more.

Although, if you had to be honest, in a strange, warped sort of way, you almost respected Ashengrotto for what he did to you. At least he was honest when he stripped you of your home and the only family you had in this world, at least his malicious intentions weren’t hidden when he slyly slid you that dreaded contract - you didn’t even know why you were even surprised when he sent the eels out to harass you in his attempt at sabotage, he might not have invented sleaziness but he sure as hell perfected it. As dodgy as the mermen are, it would be better to have someone that you know you can never trust than one who takes your trust and then crumbles it to sand with his own hands right in front of you.

And Kalim - God, if your feelings for Kalim weren’t the epitome of mixed then you don’t know what is. On the one hand, the genuine warmth he exuded upon meeting you was unprecedented. Unlike the other students in this school, who openly treated you with hostility and malice before you could even say a word, he was the only one good-natured enough to show you the kindness you had missed from your world. Despite the obvious power imbalance, he treated you as an equal, sweeping you away on a magic carpet ride, treating you to the finest delicacies he had to offer, chatting, laughing and playing with you as if you were a person and not some magicless human that didn’t belong. But on the other hand he disregarded everything you went through under his so-called ‘best friend’s’ schemes. All the pain you suffered, all the scars you gained - both physical and emotional - were swept under the rug as Kalim answered Jamil’s public (“and insincere,” your mind adds) apology with an “I forgive you.”

“I forgive you.”

‘I forgive you’ Kalim says brightly and merrily goes out of his way to include Jamil during dorm activities like the Vice Housewarden didn’t do the magical equivalent of drugging and kidnapping you. Like he didn’t play you like a fool, dangling the possibility of friendship, of the companionship that you craved in this strange and lonely new world, before ripping it away from you and stabbing you in the back. Like he didn’t use you as a pawn in his sick, twisted game, literally controlling you and isolating you from any kindness you could get. It didn’t matter that after this you’ll never be the same again. No, of course not.

Because in this world, you didn’t matter.

It all comes to a head when the Viper himself is the one that approaches you.

You’re eating lunch in the dining hall when you feel an arm wrap around your shoulders and you get pulled into Ace’s chest. On your other side you can see Deuce’s hackles raise, his jaw clenching and glaring at an unknown individual with barely concealed anger, looking very much like the ex-delinquent he used to be.

“Whaddya want?” Grim drawls boorishly at the source of your friends’ ire, “we’re eatin’ here.”

“I’m aware of that,” the smooth, velvety voice of the Vice Dorm Leader of Scarabia makes you tense, an action Ace must have felt because you feel his hand squeeze yours shortly after. You writhe in place, loosening his hold and giving you enough wiggle room to get out of his grip. With your hand still in his, you turn to look at the interloper, to see what he says next, “Kalim’s hosting a banquet this evening and he’s asked me to personally invite Y/N.”

“Well she’s not coming,” Grim snapped at him.

“She’s busy,” Deuce said.

“And she has nothing to say to you,” Ace interjected, “so you can go ahead and bog off.”

Viper sighs, “I see. If that’s all.”

He turns around to leave but you stop him, “w-wait.”

At this not only he turns to look at you with bewilderment but Ace, Deuce and Grim as well. You continue, “can I please speak with you outside, there’s something I have to say.”

“Wha-Y/N are you sure?” Deuce said, looking at you with worry.

“Yeah, you don’t have to do this,” Ace agreed.

“He doesn’t deserve it,” Grim said imploringly.

You smiled at him and pet the fur on his head before giving Ace and Deuce reassuring glances, “I’ll be fine. We’ll be just in the corridor outside so you’ll be nearby.”

“Alright then if you say so. But if he tries anything…” Deuce gives the Scarabian a glare, letting his threat linger.

With that you get up and wordlessly walk out of the dining hall and into the empty hallway adjacent to it, knowing that the other was following you without having to turn around and look. You stop at a corner and after taking a deep sigh to brace yourself you turn around and tell him with varying steadiness, “I just want to say that as much as I appreciate Kalim’s generosity and hospitality, I’m afraid that I have to decline.”

“Quite the journey just for one sentence,” he raises an eyebrow, the only expression his inscrutable face allows, “you couldn’t have said this back there?”

“It’s best if I told you this one-on-one just to get it out of the way. Make it clear that I’m the one who told you that I can’t attend and my friends have nothing to do with it. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“But that’s not all you want to say, is it?” his question pierces you like a blade to your chest, releasing all of the air that was in your lungs.

“Whatever it is you want to say to me,” he intones, his voice as calm and collected and fake as it always is, “I can take it.”

Jamil Viper was many things but an idiot is not one of them. After Kalim’s first five consecutive rejections, he was well-aware that the so-called emergencies, errands and other assorted tasks were just excuses you made to prevent you from outright telling the Dorm Leader that you just didn’t want to attend. He can’t say he blamed you. He understood that you had a less than stellar time during your last visit to the dorm - after all, he was responsible for it. He tried explaining to Kalim that perhaps it would be best to leave you alone but his bleeding heart refused to understand that you were just being polite. He did consider you a friend after all, and truly wanted to pay you back for everything that you did to help him and his dorm during the holidays and to hear your refusals disheartened him, sending him whining about how he wished he could make you happy to thank you for all that you’ve done and make up for what happened. Jamil’s statements that maybe you just wanted to be left alone fell on deaf ears as the young heir decided to send another invite through him. Jamil bit back the remark that he would be the last person you wanted to see and begrudgingly left to do his duty.

“What if what I want to say to you is that the very sight of you makes me sick?”

You’ve got to hand it to yourself, despite having over a decade to fine tune his poker face and hide his inner thoughts, his eyes visibly widened, shock flashing over his features before immediately regaining their usual unreadable appearance.

You would’ve relished at his slip up, that for less than a second you were able to gain an upper hand over the man who toyed with your vulnerability and orchestrated your suffering, if you didn’t have a voice in your head warning you that it could all just be another ploy, another way for him to trap you in his coils and squeeze until you choke.

That’s what snakes do after all. They patiently lie in wait, completely unassuming and unthreatening, before they strike so fast and so viciously that its prey is completely helpless to the onslaught of venom that’s injected into its neck.

He continues to stare at you, speechless so you continue, clenching your hands in a desperate attempt to stop them from shaking and willing your voice to stop wobbling despite every nerve in your body yelling at you to hightail out of there, to get away from the threat, the danger, that you’re not safe, just run, just flee to the refuge of Ramshackle before you inevitably get hurt again.

“I can’t look at you without wanting to throw up. Every time I see your face all I can remember is what you did to me, how you used me, how my feelings were nothing but toys for you to play with to make you feel better. You hurt me. In one of the most unforgivable ways possible and I don’t think that I can go back to the person I was before the holidays.”

“You know what?” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head at yourself, “honestly, I can’t say that you’re completely to blame. It was my mistake for actually being stupid enough to fall for your act. If my time in this world taught me anything it’s that I should never let my guard down. I should’ve known that you never wanted to be my friend, that you, just like everyone else here, only care about yourself, without giving a damn about who you have to hurt to get it. It’s my fault for not learning from my experiences, for deluding myself into thinking that someone can actually like me in this damned place. God, I’m an idiot. At least now I know better than to believe your deception.”

“Y/N-”

“Was it fun, at least? Did you enjoy it? Taking a helpless, magicless girl and using her to satisfy your own twisted schemes? Taking my powerlessness and using that as a stepping stool to make you feel better? Manipulating me like your little lamb for slaughter? At least, I can say that the whole experience taught me something and it’s that no one here cares about me, that apart from Ace, Deuce and Grim, I have no one. So I think it would be best to tell your Dorm Leader that unfortunately, I will not be attending. Or not. You could just hypnotise him. Either way is the same to him.”

You turned around and was about to go back to the comfort of your friends, before tossing a few parting words over your shoulder:

“Congratulations, Vice Dorm Leader Viper, you’ve achieved what you wanted. You said that you did all of that so you can finally have your actions acknowledged - well, here you have it. Now I can’t go a minute without acknowledging what you’ve done.”

And with that you walked away, meeting up with Ace, Deuce and Grim as they wrapped their arms around your shaking body and walked you back to the sanctuary of Ramshackle.

#angst #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #twst grim #jamil viper x reader #ace x reader x deuce #fem reader

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sapphicvqmpires · 1 year

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❁ཻུ۪۪♡ swallow (your pride)

Pairing - shuri/black fem! reader

Word count - 4K

Contains - smut (18+), slight choking, dom!shuri, sub!reader, strap on, reader is a brat, slight degradation kink, jealousy, fluff, cunnilingus, minimal plot

Key Words - nkosazana (princess), sthwanda sam (my love)

Divider From - @firefly-graphics

Sneak Peak - The first time you guys fucked, you made it abundantly clear to yourself and to her that she was just a one-night stand. She agreed, and only came to you when you asked. She fucked hard, but she did it with intent. The way she always took care of your needs before hers. The way she called you ‘princess’ and ‘slut’ interchangeably in bed. The way she almost fucked you like she loved you. All the reasons why your one-night stand turned into a two, three, four-night stand. But you were not hers, and she was not yours, and as much as you tried to push away the hot gooey feeling of jealousy in your core, you just couldn’t

Song Vibes - kiss it better (rihanna), sept 5th (dvsn), i.j.s. (dee gatti), awkward (sza)

Tags - @abenomeiiii

Writers Note: low key scared to post this but oh well, let me know if you enjoyed it! And let me know if you wanna be in the tag list for future fics :)

❁ཻུ۪۪♡ You allow your mind to get lost with the crowd, your body becoming syrup as you lose yourself in the music. Your head getting lost in the beats that pummeled through your veins as you chose to forget about your current dilemma. You were having a good time, up until the dilemma herself walked straight through the door. You instantly choke down tears, not because of the sight of Shuri, but because she brought another girl with her. Shuri’s arms are around her shoulder as they stepped foot into the house party.

The first time you guys fucked, you made it abundantly clear to yourself and to her that she was just a one-night stand. She agreed, and only came to you when you asked. She fucked hard, but she did it with intent. The way she always took care of your needs before hers. The way she called you ‘princess’ and ‘slut’ interchangeably in bed. The way she almost fucked you like she loved you. All the reasons why your one-night stand turned into a two, three, four-night stand. But you were not hers, and she was not yours, and as much as you tried to push away the hot gooey feeling of jealousy in your core, you just couldn’t.

You and Shuri make eye contact, but you look away instantly, hoping she didn’t notice the pathetic brokenness in your eyes. She probably wouldn’t care anyway. You rush to the alcohol table and thankfully find Riri, your best friend was there as well, responsibly sipping her from her red cup. She noticed the look on your face and understood immediately.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”

This has a single tear instantly escaping your tear duct. You quickly wipe it away as you chug down some alcohol. You’re so embarrassed and ashamed of yourself. It was never supposed to be like this.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there. We both know you’re bit of a lightweight,” Riri teases. “What’s going on y/n? Tell me.”

“Ugh, I hate her!” you respond in pure frustration. Riri raises an eyebrow, allowing her face to pave way for what she was about to say, and you knew the exact words that were about to fall out of her mouth.

“I told you you couldn’t do it.”

You roll your eyes as you take another sip of your drink.

“You’re just not a one-night stand type of girl y/n, and that’s ok. You love, and you love hard. Not your fault Shuri can’t see she has the most beautiful girl in her grasp.”

You put your drink down and subtly looked over your shoulder to see if she was still there with that girl. Your stomach drops at the sight of them still together. Shuri’s arm is no longer on her shoulder but they are talking. Shuri towering over the small, petite girl in front of her before she notices your eyes studying her. You make no effort to look away this time, just angrily chugging the rest of your drink down as you maintain eye contact and make your way to the dance floor once more. You look around for someone to dance with you, spotting another girl that somewhat resembles Shuri with short, boyish curls and a tall, lean build. Attractive but not as attractive as Shuri.

“Wanna dance?” you ask the stranger.

“Uh, yeah sure. Why not?”

You grab the stranger by the wrist as you drag her to the dance floor. You let the music take over your body once more, now mixed in with the alcohol that is currently flowing through your veins. You don’t care. You’re angry and you want to piss Shuri off. Maybe that will get her attention. You dance with the stranger so sensually but she handles you well. You knew you weren’t being fair, you never wanted or asked for anything serious. Or so you both thought. You look at Riri from across the room, and she chuckles. Riri knows exactly what you’re doing but she’s all for it. You grind on the girl behind you, as she takes your hips and pushes you further into her crotch area. You notice Shuri watching you, her eyes dim with desire. Her eyebrows furrowed together in annoyance, as she makes her way towards you. Your gut grows hot, but you don’t stop what you’re doing.

“I can take it from here,” Shuri says to the stranger.

“I never said I was done with her.”

“I don’t give a fuck, move,” Shuri replied, her voice low and demanding, as she slightly pushed her off of you. The stranger rolled her eyes, and walked away. Shuri takes your wrists and puts your arms around her shoulders, your faces inches apart besides the fact that she’s slightly taller than you.

“You look good,” Shuri compliments, her eyes roaming the room and barely even looking at you. You roll your eyes in annoyance, scoffing as you try to let go of her grasp but she pulls you in tighter. She lowers her mouth right by your ear as she begins to whisper. “Where do you think you’re going, hm? Keep acting like a brat and I’ll show everyone what you really look like when no one’s watching.”

Her threat makes your body tight, as you grow dewy between your thighs. “You’re not the boss of me,” you reply with a challenge. Shuri’s eyes snap at you, a slight grin forming on her lips. She knows what you want. Your face softens at her demeaning gaze, making her chuckle. She loves the power she has on you and so did you. You grab her hand and slowly lead her up the stairs, making sure you make heavy contact with the girl she came in with as you make your way up.

“Don’t be mean,” Shuri says as she notices the death glare you give the other girl.

“Too fucking bad.”

Shuri snickers in response.

You guys finally find a secluded bedroom away from the thriving crowd downstairs. Shuri lifts you up as you wrap your legs around her, bringing you into the bedroom. You can’t help but smile, wondering if she can feel your sweet spot dampen against her. She places you on the edge of the bed, spreading your thighs open as she kneels down on one knee in front of you.

“You were being a brat downstairs, why?”

Her question catches you off guard, forcing you to swallow hard.

“I don’t like her,” you respond.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific with me nkosazana. I don’t have time for games today.”

“Stop acting like you don’t know who I’m talking about!” you snap back. “That girl you brought here to the party with you! Why would you do that?? You’re annoying for that,” you pout.

Shuri rolls her eyes as she lets out a breathless laugh.

“I don’t see what’s so funny.”

“You’re adorable when you’re angry.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“Mhm, yeah, you said that already, nkosazana.”

You let Shuri laugh for a bit, as she collects herself. You find no amusement in this.

“You done?”

“No. I don’t even see why you’re so angry about it anyway. You made it perfectly clear we’re not together. You said, and I quote, ‘this is just a one-night stand, don’t think about trying to fall in love with me and shit’”.

Shuri was right. That is what you said, but still. You couldn’t help that you let your damn emotions get in the way.

“Whatever. You were just using me for a good time anyway,” you scold. Shuri’s eyes grow dark. Her lips completely shut as she brings her face closer, her lips just brushing yours.

“You think that’s what I want you for?” Her voice is low and raspy. Her eyes are so full of desire adding more wetness to your already soaking pussy. She grabs you by the throat, putting slight pressure. “I could say the same about you, the way you opened your legs so easily for me like the bratty slut you are.” She lets you go of her firm grasp.

“Take that off,” she demands, pointing to your revealing dress. “Not that it makes a difference, you’re practically naked in that fucking dress anyway.”

You roll your eyes as your dress drops to your ankles, revealing the lavender lace underneath. Shuri’s breath hitches, bluntly observing you and your body, even though she’s seen it a fair amount of times already. Her eyes trail to the dark spot between your legs.

“Fuck baby, you’re already soaking.”

“Shuri please,” you whine. Your cunt is aching, and you can’t take it anymore.

“Don’t give me that. You made me watch you dance with another girl, who kinda looked like me, never mind.”

“You did it first.”

“Yeah yeah, now get on the bed, and spread open for me.”

You comply with ease. You rest your ass on the plush bed beneath you, as you spread yourself open to Shuri, revealing the damp spot on your lavender lace. Shuri grabs a chair and sits, manspreading as she gets comfy. She looks so good in her unbuttoned baseball-like jersey top, with her black Nike bra underneath, revealing her toned abdomen. Her matching boxers are peaking above her black, baggy cargo pants and you know exactly what else is hiding underneath. You study the way her boyish curls compliment her perfectly chiseled face, her jawline carved to perfection. Her gold adornments gleaming against her dark skin, it was all too much. No one should look THAT good.

“Touch yourself,” she commands, interrupting your moment of lustful admiration.

“But I want you to do it,” you sulk.

“We’ll get there y/n, but first I want a show. You owe me one after the shit you pulled today.”

You give in, pushing the lavender lace to the side, revealing your dark brown, glistening center. Shuri adjusts herself, her eyes fixated on your pussy. You take two fingers, lubing them with your wetness as you slide them into your plush walls. You slowly pump in and out, as your head dips back in pleasure.

“Uh uh, eyes on me. I want you to picture me with every thrust you give yourself, sthandwa sam.”

You obey, lifting your head back up to face her. You get lost in her almond eyes, as you thrust faster into yourself, determined to please the woman in front of you. Shuri’s eyes trail between yours and your dark center. The room is silent except for your soft, breathless moans and the squelching of your wet, throbbing cunt. Shuri loves the sound your body makes, she’s told you so many times before. You pull out for a second to play with your delicate clit, making yourself moan Shuri’s name. A viscous smile forms on Shuri’s lips as she watches the way you play with yourself and as her name shamelessly pools out of your mouth. She loves the effect she has on you and your body without even having to lay a finger on you.

“That’s right y/n, say my name. You're so pretty like this.”

Your gut begins to tighten as the familiar feeling rises in your core and down between your inner thighs. You picture the tip of Shuri’s strap circling your clit, as your eyebrows furrowed together and your mouth drops open. You were fatally close before you were rudely disrupted by the woman you were hoping to please.

“That’s enough.”

You shoot her a glare as you remove your fingers in confusion. The phantom of your impending climax lingering in both your gut and pussy came to a halt, making you annoyed.

“What? No, that’s not fair, I was so close Shuri,” you whimpered, almost crying.

“You whine too much baby. Come here.” She motions you to come sit on her lap, and you do. You spread your thighs over hers, your cunt lingering over her lap, as you face her, still annoyed. “What's the long face for? You did this. Not me.”

You stare at her, and even though you want to pick a fight, you know she’s right. You made it sufficiently clear to her that you didn’t want anything serious. Shuri was allowed to see other women, but you didn’t like that.

“Shuri…please.”

“What is it now, nkosazana? Talk to me. Tell me what you want. I can’t give you what you want if you don’t talk to me.”

You’re debating whether to take it the sexual way or if you should be real with her and as much as you hated to admit it, you wanted her. Every bit of her. You wanted to wake up next to her, and bring her flowers. You wanted to watch stupid movies with her and go to the arcade with her. You wanted her touch, but you wanted more than that. You realize this is the first time you’re admitting this to yourself. You sigh, breathing in deeply. You rest your head into the nape of her neck, admiring the tattoo there. She smelled so good.

“I just want you,” you muffle into her.

Shuri takes her hand and strokes your curls, being careful because she understands curl maintenance.

“See, was that so hard?”

You bring your face back up to hers, placing your lips on her lips. This was your first kiss. Not that you haven’t kissed her before, of course you have. But your first real kiss with her and it makes your cheeks flush.

“I almost want to say ‘I love you’ but it’s too soon for that,” you say, half-jokingly. Shuri’s eyes go from sweet to desirable in a split second, bringing her hand up to cup your drenched cunt.

“How’s she feeling?” Shuri asks, talking about your sweet spot that still needs to release itself. You gulp.

“She wants you.”

“Mhm. You can tell me you love me in other ways if you’re not ready to say it out loud just yet.”

You kiss her once more, this time more wantonly. She slips her tongue in, as you remove yourself from her lap. She pushes you onto the bed, hovering over you as her gold chain dangles in your face. She removes her baseball button-up, revealing her toned arms that you will never get tired of. She grabs your throat.

“You gonna be a good girl for once?”

You nod, desperate for Shuri to make her mark inside you. Shuri removes her cargos, fully revealing her Nike boxers and the strap she was already wearing. You weren’t surprised though. Shuri liked to wear it, she told you before when she caught you by surprise the first time. Shuri continues to undress you, sliding your lace panties off. She admires the lavender bra against your brown skin.

“I almost want to keep this on. It’s so pretty on you,” she coos.

“Do what you want, I just need you,” you say as your breathing picks up.

“Still needy I see.”

Shuri digs her face into your neck, placing kisses on your sensitive spot, earning a small moan from you. She smiles against your skin, proud of how well she knows you. She makes her way down, pressing her lips against your cleavage and your core. She makes her way to your inner thighs, as you thrust your cunt forward, making it incredibly clear where you want her.

“I’m getting there baby, be patient.”

She lifts your legs over her shoulders, making you more spread open to her. She soaks in the beautiful sight of your dewy hunger for her, diving into her prize. You’re already losing it, getting lost in the way her tongue understands you so well. You wrap your legs around her, locking her in and applying more pressure. Shuri grips your thighs as she eats away, winning filthy moans from your lips.

“Shuri baby, I’m so close. Pl—please don’t stop.” You wail her name unapologetically, as your orgasm approaches you. Shuri sucks on your puffy clit, sending you over the edge. The room goes white, and your stomach churns heat as your orgasm subdues your entire body. You release yourself into Shuri’s mouth, as you let her go of your tight grasp. She lifts herself off of you, your pleasure running down the corner of her mouth.

“You’re delicious, baby. You did so well.”

You lie there trying to collect yourself. Shuri notices this, and comes back down to kiss you, the taste of your satisfaction on her lips brings you back.

“I’m not done with you.”

“I know.”

“Let me know when you’re ready, nkosazana.”

You let out a few breaths, preparing yourself to be penetrated. And you know Shuri. She’s not gentle with it. But you love when she has her way with you.

“Ok ok I’m ready,” you say between heaving pants. Shuri lets out a crooked smile, as she grabs her girthy strap, taking the tip and circling your clit. You moan so easily, it’s almost embarrassing.

“Look at you, you’re just too easy, baby,” she teases.

“Just…please. Please Shuri, stop teasing. Just fuck me already,” you demand.

“Still such a brat.” She takes her strap, and puts it in you. Your walls welcome her in, expanding to accommodate her size. You always struggled a bit in the beginning, but you never wanted her to stop. You took the slight pain as it was easily replaced with pleasure with each thrust knocked into you. Your eyebrows soften, as you take her in. Your moans getting louder with each drive into your cushioned walls.

“You look so pretty when you struggle.”

You keep eye contact with her as she guides you through it. She knows how much you need her, and she’s going to give you exactly what you’re desperate for.

“You take me so well, y/n. So tight for me.”

Each thrust gets easier, as it usually does. You beg her to keep going, to keep pummeling into you.

“Please don’t stop Shuri. Please. I wanna cum.”

“Tell me you want to cum on my dick.”

You moan Shuri’s name a couple more times, trying to gather your thoughts together.

“Please baby, I wanna cum on your cock. I’m so wet for you.”

This sends Shuri over the edge. She loves the way you whimper for her. The way you take it for her. She digs her head into your neck once more, picking up the pace. She’s no longer being gentle with you, and your pussy is so open to her. You’re close. Shuri lifts her face off the nape of your neck, wanting to look you in the eye as you release yourself. You try to remain eye contact with her but it’s nearly impossible. Your eyes roll back and your head bucks backwards at her thrusts. Your whole body explodes and the room turns to colors as you cum for the second time. Shuri grabs your chin, and forces your eyes on her.

“Look at me as you cum baby, I know it’s hard. But do it.”

She fucks you through your orgasm and even through the after shock. You’re so overstimulated but you don’t want anything less. Finally, your body comes back to earth.

“I wanna try one more thing, if you let me,” Shuri says.

You look at her with those eyes. Those “fuck me” eyes, you always give her. It sends her over the edge. Shuri lies on her back as she strokes her strap slowly, rubbing your juices all over it.

“I want you to ride me. Think you can do that for me baby?”

Your eyes bulge, contemplating whether you can take her or not. It doesn’t take long before you make up your mind. You wanna feel her. You want her to ram into you so deeply, the words “I love you” fall out of your mouth. You don’t care.

You nod, as you sit on top of her toned core. You kiss her, right before you begin to slide it in.

“Wait,” she interrupts. “Turn around. I wanna see the way you stretch as you ride me.”

You obey immediately, turning your back against hers as you slide it in. Shuri has the perfect view of your plump ass and your curls falling down your back.

“Bounce.”

You do, and it feels heavenly. It goes so deep into you, immediately hitting your sweet spot. You bounce, as Shuri watches the way your pussy swallows her whole with each leap. That vision is enough to send Shuri into madness. She helps you get to your climax, thrusting slightly, making sure you do most of the work this time. You cry her name out, absolutely frantic.

“Come on baby, you have to work for it.”

You whine as your legs begin to cramp, your core muscles tightening. It was a workout. But you weren’t going to stop. You bounce like a pro, hoping Shuri notices. You lean forward a bit, giving Shuri a clearer view of the way your cunt opens and closes with each thrust.

“Oh yes y/n. Just like that. Just like the beautiful slut you are.”

You moan to her insult, bouncing harder as you reach your third of the night. Your head leans backwards as Shuri’s name falls off your tongue. You stop bouncing and just ride her out, moving your hips back and forth as Shuri remains inside you. You come back down from your high, releasing yourself from Shuri’s grip as you spill all over her.

“You did amazing y/n, we have to do that more often,” Shuri says through her heaving chest. Her sweat is glazed over her dark skin.

You put your panties back on, along with Shuri’s baseball top. Shuri puts her pants back on, as you crawl back in the bed with her. This part wasn’t new. You would usually end your “one-night stand” sessions in her arms, your head pressed into her chest as she holds you and engages in small talk. You two practically broke the rules of what was meant to be a one-time type of deal. But this time felt different. There was more love to it.

“Shuri?”

“Yes y/n?”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Shuri adjusts herself, her face inches from yours. “What do you mean, sthandwa sam?”

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. I was supposed to have a good time with you, and then move on but then…” your voice breaks off, almost too prideful to finish what you were going to say.

“But then what?”

You let out a heavy sigh. “But then you got me so confused with fucking and making love. The way you did it was so rough and hard, but still lovingly at the same time? How is that possible? And then you would take care of me after, and call me all those cute names, plus you're so hot and beautiful at the same time? You’re just too much.”

“Oh, I’m too much??” Shuri teases. You roll your eyes for what seems like the hundredth time today. She loved to pick at you, but you wouldn’t want it any other way. You loved her, and it was time to swallow your pride for once. Shuri looks intensely into your eyes, trying to read you.

“What's on your mind y/n? Talk to me. I love hearing you talk.”

“I don’t know. I think I love you.”

A soft smile appears on Shuri’s face. She knows that it took alot for you to admit. She’s proud of you. She cups your face in her hands, bringing her lips to your forehead.

“I know you do, baby,” she says softly. “I love you too.”

This is it. You cup your head into her chest, inhaling her scent that still lingered there. She pulls you in further, placing kisses on your curls. Funny how magic happens when you swallow your pride. ❁ཻུ۪۪♡

#sapphicvqmpire #shuri fic #shuri x you #shuri x reader #sub!y/n #smut #fluff #jealosy #lesbian

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 year

Text

Hard on Myself

Pairing: EddiexFemReader

Summary: This was a request

Can you make another rockstar!eddie where they just had a baby and the reader goes to one of his shows with the baby to see her daddy and she gets dressed up but reader still has a bit of post partum body and the fan girls see it and shame on her and reader declines eddies touches and works out and later eddie finds out and she breaks down and they make love? :)

18+ only

“Hey, I just got Cadence down to sleep,” Eddie murmured in your ear as he slid up behind you in the hotel room, his hands holding onto your arms. “We should take advantage of the alone time.” Those hands slid down your arms and the minute they touched your waist you shot away from him, like a firework jetting off into the sky.

“Actually, I was going to go workout,” you offered with a strained smile.

You had brought the baby to Eddie’s show three nights ago, wanting to surprise him. Stella, Gareth’s girlfriend, had stayed with the baby on the tour bus while you watched the concert. You didn’t want to subject your ten week old’s ears to the deafening music. You had been so excited, putting on a red dress that Eddie had always loved on you. It had been a little tighter than usual and yeah, you had a little pooch in your middle and you had to wear a good bra because breastfeeding was not doing anything great for your boobs, but you’d just had a baby. You decided to wear it anyway, wanting to look perfect for your husband.

But then the comments began, fangirls all around noticing you, knowing exactly who you were. Considering Rolling Stone had done a feature on the band and their families, with you and Eddie right on the cover, it didn’t surprise you that they recognized you as his wife. What did surprise you was what you heard them saying. You could still hear the razor sharp digs at you now.

“How long does she think she’s going to keep him around if she doesn’t lose that baby weight?”

“Ugh…how has he not left her yet? She’s delusional if she thinks he’s sticking around.”

“She looks like a whale in that dress. Why would she even think she should wear that?”

“Oh my god, why does she still look pregnant? Didn’t she have that baby weeks ago?”

“Ladies, we need to get backstage. If that’s what he’s coming home to, Eddie will jump at the chance to be with a girl who actually takes care of herself. He deserves so much hotter than lard-ass over there.”

“Damn, has she ever met a donut she didn’t eat?”

Tears stung your eyes but you swallowed hard, forcing them back, refusing to cry in front of Eddie. You couldn’t let him see how much those remarks had hurt. You didn’t want him to feel bad. You had signed on for this life. You had agreed to stick by him as she sought out his rockstar dreams and now that it was happening, you couldn’t do anything to ruin it for him.

But you couldn’t help wondering if they were right. You knew you should work out, but it was so hard when you barely felt human anymore. Cadence was perfect, but you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a solid night’s sleep. Your brain felt foggy, everything coated in a mist that made it difficult to know where you were or what you were supposed to be doing at the moment. You were exhausted all the time. You barely had the energy to shower, let alone work out.

“Sweetheart, didn’t you already work out this morning?” asked Eddie.

“Yeah, but I feel like getting another one in and the hotel gym is so nice. I don’t have time to do this back home when it’s just me and it feels good. I mean, Cadence is twelve weeks old. I should be getting this baby weight off. The doctor gave me the all clear.”

Eddie stepped into you, resting his hands on his hips, his eyes moving up and down your body, “I don’t see anything that needs fixing. You look perfect.” Those soft, brown eyes searched yours, as if he could see into your mind, what you were thinking. “And princess, if this matters to you, then I will support you but I’m also worried. You worked out three times yesterday and now you’re talking about a second time today. You just had a baby. Don’t overdo it.”

Sighing, you backed away from him, holding your hands in front of you, “Eddie, I’m fine. The doctor said working out was fine. It’s been twelve weeks since I had her. You’re acting like I just gave birth yesterday.”

“I’m not saying you just gave birth yesterday but you’re a brand new mom. Cut yourself some slack. It just seems like you’re suddenly a bit obsessive about working out. I don’t want to find you passed out in the hotel gym.”

“Jesus, Eddie, just let it go. I’m not going to pass out in the gym. Just watch our daughter, something you never have to do since you’re out being a rockstar. I just want a little goddamn time to myself, okay? Is that really too much to ask?”

Eddie’s head reared back in shock, those eyes flashing instantly from soft and warm to hard and disbelieving, “You signed up for this life. You told me you were okay with this when we decided to go for it. I can’t help it that we’re on tour right now. I offered to hire you a nanny to help. I planned more days off in between so I could be home. I suggested the two of you just come on the road with us because you know I hate being away from you.”

“Yeah, because that’s realistic. Let’s take a baby across the country in a bus. Come off it!” you yelled. You knew you weren’t being fair. You knew you were being a bitch but you couldn’t help it. All the hormones, the lack of sleep, the sheer exhaustion in your body, the words of those spiteful girls…it was all catching up to you and he happened to be in your line of sight. “I did sign up for this but it’s fucking hard. You’re not around and you’d think when you are, you could let me have just a little bit of me time! Is that really too much to ask?”

“Baby, I’m not saying that, but why don’t you actually take some time to relax? You could run yourself a bath or go sit by the pool and read a book? I will take care of Cadence all day if you need me to. I miss her. I would love to spend the day with her.”

“I am sure you would love it if I left you alone all day. Then you wouldn’t have to look at me and how disgusting I am now that I’ve bore your fucking child,” you snapped, hearing him yell your name as you charged out of the hotel room and down to the gym.

____________________________________________________________

The next morning, you were making your way back to your hotel room from the gym again. You had gone twice more yesterday, ignoring Eddie in the process, not wanting to face the reality of what was happening to your marriage, the things you said. It had taken every ounce of your energy to get through your workout and you had grown irrationally angry when your legs shook so bad you couldn’t even do a squat. How out of shape were you? Your body couldn’t even handle the workouts.

You had showered at the gym, trying to delay the inevitable, knowing Eddie would be awake when you returned. You stood in front of the mirror after your shower, scrutinizing every inch of your body, disgusted with yourself. How had you allowed yourself to get like this? Those girls were right. If Eddie saw you naked now, he’d be repulsed with you. You grabbed the rolls of skin around your middle, pinching them until it hurt, as if you could just pull them off and make them vanish. Tears of revulsion, self-loathing, and despair trailed down your cheeks as you took in the faint stretch marks around your stomach and thighs, the dark circles under your hairs, the wan appearance of the skin on your face. You hated yourself. You hated this body. You were going to lose your husband to someone thinner and prettier than you, someone who did yoga every day and spent hours primping until everything was perfect. You didn’t have time to be perfect. You were too busy trying to figure out how to keep a tiny human alive and happy.

Finally, knowing you couldn’t put it off any longer, you had decided to face the inevitable. Eddie was going to leave you. He would find a replacement for you. And could you blame him? You saw the girls who threw themselves at him night after night. Of course it was only a matter of time…how long could he resist temptation when you were what he had to come home to?

Using your keycard, you opened the hotel door, the soft sound of your husband singing greeting your ears. You dropped your workout bag and peered around the corner to find him swaying in the sitting area, singing sweetly to your daughter. You recognized it. It was ‘All My Love’ by Led Zeppelin, the first song Eddie had danced with you to, out by Lover’s Lake. Just the two of you underneath the moon, those strong arms feeling like the safest place in the world. It was in that moment that you knew he was the only thing you ever wanted in life, that you would do anything to hold onto him forever.

Your heart broke watching him. You knew he adored your daughter. Cadence was his whole world. He would call before shows and ask you to put the phone to her ear so he could talk to her, terrified she would forget the sound of her dad’s voice. Even if he left you, he would never leave her, but that didn’t make the agony any less.

“Hey, there you are,” he whispered as he caught sight of you standing there.

Walking over to the bassinet, he gently laid Cadence down. Moving to you, he took your hands in his, gesturing with his head to follow him into the bedroom. You swallowed the hard knot of emotion that was strangling you and followed him. Eddie sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. Your body tensed, everything in your wanting to run, to flee what was coming, but you fought against it, joining him, your eyes focused on the floor.

“Princess, what is going on?” he asked, his hand covering yours, that calloused thumb gently running along your skin. In spite of yourself, your body immediately responded to his touch, your tense muscles relaxing. “You are obsessively working out and I can’t figure out if it’s because you want to or it’s a way to avoid me.”

“I’m not…” you began, but you knew it was a lie. You were avoiding him because you were terrified of what was going to happen. If you weren’t with him, he couldn’t tell you he was leaving you. “I don’t know. Maybe I am avoiding you.”

“But why?” he urged. “Sweetheart, I’ve missed you so much. I hate being away from you and Cadence. I understand your reasoning for not bringing her on tour, but if we’re only going to be able to have a few days every few weeks, then we should be making the most of our time together. All I want is to curl up with you and her and soak in every single second so it can hopefully be enough to get me to the next time. I don’t know why you don’t want that. Are you…baby, are you unhappy with me?”

“No! I love you!” you exclaimed, shaking your head. You couldn’t do it anymore. Your head dropped forward as your body shook with sobs, all of the ugly things you’d feared, you’d been told, you’d been telling yourself just crashing down on you.

“Oh princess,” Eddie breathed, gathering you in his arms.

He laid back, gently guiding you with him and just held onto you as your entire body released everything that you had been caging, as the dam you’d built broke and the exhaustion, grief, and fear just came flowing out in torrents of pain. You gripped his shirt in your hands, soaking the fabric with your tears, relishing the comfort only he could ever provide you.

“Sweetheart, tell me what’s going on, please?” he implored, his fingers tenderly kneading the flesh of your back. “I hate seeing you like this. Let me help you.”

“I…I…” you gasped. Pausing, you took slow, small breaths to try to calm yourself so you could speak. “Girls at your show, they were saying stuff. How long did I think I could keep you? What was I doing wearing that dress when I looked like a whale? Why did I still look pregnant? Why wasn’t I taking care of myself? I just…”

“What?” Eddie’s head jerked back, his eyes gazing into yours with genuine shock. “Fuck those girls. Who the hell do they think they are talking about my wife, talking about anyone, that way?”

“But it’s true!” you argued, pulling out of his embrace and sitting up. “Look at me! I can’t compare to all those groupies that hang around with their toned stomachs, tight asses, and tits that actually sit where they should without a bra. I’m a goddamn mess! I wanted to work out because…I don’t know. I wanted to be good enough for you, sexy enough for you…so you wouldn’t leave me for one of them.”

“Sweetheart,” Eddie crooned, sitting up next to you. His thumb and forefinger gripped your chin, turning your face to his. “I am not going anywhere, ever. I love you. You. And yes, I think you’re beautiful and gorgeous and so damn sexy, but it’s so much bigger than that. What we have is so much deeper than that. You don’t have to do a fucking thing to be good enough for me. You’re more than enough. In fact, you’re too damn good for me. I sit back every day and wonder how I got to be the lucky bastard you chose.”

Tears pooled in your eyes again at his words as you took in this beautiful man who had your whole heart and had since junior year of high school. All these years later, and he still had the ability to take your breath away, to cause you to lose your train of thought, to completely knock you off your feet. He had no idea how goddamn perfect he was.

“I love you, princess, just you,” he whispered, his hand cradling your cheek, his lips so close you could feel the warmth of his breath passing over your skin. “I am never going anywhere.”

Then his lips were on yours, soft and warm, sending shocks of pleasure straight through you. His tongue slid along your lips, parting them so he could explore your mouth. You released a quiet whimper, fingers tangling in his hair, your entire body recognizing him, remembering how much it enjoyed the feel of his mouth and hands.

You gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Your hands roamed along the familiar territory of his skin; his chest, his stomach; that little line of hair that led temptingly to what you desired most. You ran your fingers up his back, across his shoulder blades, relishing every single inch of him that you’d missed so much these last months. His fingers grabbed your shirt and shocked you back to reality. Your hands shot out, covering his and pulling them back.

“What?” he asked, pausing the kiss to look at you, concern apparent in that lovely face. “What’s wrong?”

“N…nothing,” you managed, shaking your head.

Eddie’s head tilted slightly and you could see it in his eyes. He didn’t believe you. He stood from the bed, taking your hand and pulling you up. Those eyes bore into yours, ensuring you everything would be okay as he reached for your shirt again. You fought the urge to stop him as he slowly pulled it over your head. Turning you around, he pressed his chest to your back so you were both facing the floor to ceiling mirror in the bedroom. You cringed, closing your eyes at the sight, attempting to cover your midriff with your arms.

“No, don’t do that,” he whispered in your ear, his hands covering yours and gently pulling them away. “Open your eyes, princess. Trust me.” Uncertainly, you obeyed, opening your eyes, but keeping them on him. “Look at yourself. You are a goddamn goddess and this stomach…” His hands splayed over your skin and you glanced at the mirror, meeting his eyes in it. “This stomach is beautiful. It grew our daughter. It nourished and protected her for nine months. It gave me Cadence. There is not a single part of you that isn’t absolutely perfect to me.”

“Eddie, but I'm not…”

“Shh,” Eddie soothed, cutting you off. His tongue darted out, slipping along the side of your neck and you gasped, heading falling back against him. “Let me worship you like the goddess you are.”

His lips pressed against the skin of your neck, your shoulder. When his teeth joined in, nibbling the tender flesh between your neck and shoulder, you thought your legs would give out from under you. His fingers expertly released the clasp of your bra and it guided it down your arms until it fell to the floor. As his mouth continued torturing you with nips, licks, and kisses, his hands cupped your breasts, not squeezing, just holding them, being tender in knowing how sore they could be from breastfeeding.

“You are gorgeous,” he whispered, his hand sliding down your stomach, slipping under your sweats and panties. A low groan fell from his lips when his fingers found your heat. “Fuck. You’re already so wet. I’ve missed you…I’ve missed this, so fucking much.”

He moved around to the front of you, guiding you back on the bed so your legs were dangling off the side. His hands pulled your sweats and panties off in one smooth movement and he threw them across the room. Kneeling down in front of you, he hitched your legs over his shoulders, putting you on full display for him.

“I love you,” he growled, lips pressing along your inner thighs. “I love every goddamn inch of this body. I am going to show you just how much.”

Then his tongue ran through your folds, from your entrance to your clit and back again. You keened, back arching at the contact, the touch your body had been craving for weeks. Eddie’s hands gripped your thighs, fingers digging into the flesh as he expertly worked his tongue over you. Fuck, the things this man could do. It was like your body had forgotten, had fallen into a deep coma, and suddenly with one touch it was brought to life again.

“Eddie…shit…” you panted, all concerns about your body and how it looked vanished from your mind as he sent you skyrocketing to the edge of oblivion. “Oh baby, yes…right there. Oh fuck, don’t stop.”

“Didn’t plan on it, princess,” he growled as you gripped his hair tightly in your fingers, grinding yourself against his face. He moaned against you and the feeling of it sent shockwaves of pleasure through you.

Just when you thought this moment couldn’t be any better, Eddie plunged two fingers into you, adeptly twisting them so they instantly hit that pleasure button within you. Fingers grasping the sheets, you screeched, arching up off the bed.

“Shh, sweetheart,” he chuckled, lapping circles around your clit, “don’t want to ruin our fun by waking up Cadence.”

You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. Fuck, it was so hard to control your volume when he was so expertly sending you towards orgasm. You felt it coming as your stomach knotted, your legs quivered, muscles tensing. You tightened your thighs around his head, biting down on your knuckles as your hips rocked against him desperately.

“That’s it sweetheart. Let it all go. You deserve this,” he urged, before sucking your clit between his lips like it was a hard candy.

Your eyes rolled into your head as you bit down so hard on your knuckles that you broke the skin, pathetic whimpers and moans releasing from your body, sounds you couldn’t even describe if you tried. A half squeak, half shriek exploded from you as your orgasm came crashing like a tidal wave. You gripped Eddie’s hair with one hand, holding his face against you as you rode it out.

Slowly coming down, he pressed a kiss to your center that had you whimpering before those lips began tracing along every inch of your body, not a single bit of skin left untouched. He kissed the tops of your feet, your skins, your knees, your thighs, your stomach, your breasts, your neck, before finally making his way back to your lips. You were a gasping, writhing mess beneath him, his mouth already setting a new fire ablaze in you before the first had completely extinguished.

“Goddamn, you are exquisite,” he said, running the back of his hand along your cheek. “You are so fucking perfect.” His arms wrapped around you, flipping you both so you were on top of him. “I want you to ride me, princess. I want to watch you, every single inch of you.”

“Eddie…” you began to protest but he pressed his finger against your lips, raising his eyebrows.

“Uh-uh,” he insisted, shaking his head. “No more negative talk about yourself. No more mean thoughts about yourself. You are a knockout. You are strong. You are bad-ass. You are a mother. You are perfect and you are mine. I love every single inch of you and I want to see every single inch of you. Get out of your head and just be here with me, princess.”

You swallowed hard, nodding. You could do this. You wanted to do this. You wanted to let it all go, all the toxic shit that had been poisoning your mind and heart, and just be with him. Undoing his pants, Eddie lifted his hips, and you helped him pull them off. You placed one knee on either side of his hips as he held his cock in his hand and guided it within you. You lowered your hips until they were flush against his and you both groaned at the feel of him buried within you, something you’d both been craving for too damn long.

“Jesus,” he hissed, his hands resting on your hips. “I’ve missed being inside you. You were fucking made for me, do you know that?”

You nodded, slowly rocking your hips forward and backward, causing him to hit that delicious spot all over again. You bit your lip, reminding yourself that you had to control your volume, something the two of you had never had to worry about before. Eddie’s hands slid up, gripping the sides of your waist and you paused, but only for a moment, before continuing to move against him. He loved you. He wanted you. You had to stop obsessing and just be in the moment with this beautiful man, this man you adored more than anything on this planet, Cadence excluded of course.

Your head fell back, hair draping down your back as you lost yourself in the sensation of the two of you becoming one, the two of you connected in a way you hadn’t been in too long. This right here, this had always been perfection with Eddie. You’d heard other girls talk about how the sex fizzled out, wasn’t as exciting, but seven years later, nothing about her desire for him had languished, it had only intensified. Seeing him as a father had just made him even more sexy. Seeing how much he loved your daughter was the greatest aphrodisiac. It had only been medical necessity and then your own insecurities that had hindered it, but right now, you were remembering all of the reasons you needed to let it go. You begin moving your hips in a circular motion and Eddie gasped at the new sensation.

“Fuck baby, that’s so good,” he murmured, eyes devouring you. One of his hands glided along your stomach, in between your breasts, resting on your throat. “You look like goddamn Sune right now, goddess of love and light…just fucking gorgeous.”

If you weren’t lost in the throes of pleasure, you would have laughed. Of course he would compare you to a DnD character. Damn, you loved that the nerd you fell in love with was still in there. He hadn’t lost himself to the fame and celebrity that came with his rockstar lifestyle. At his core, he was still just your Eddie.

“Come here,” he urged, hands wrapping around you and pulling you down to his chest, crushing you against him as close as he could. He began to thrust his hips upward and you bit down on the flesh of his shoulder to keep from screaming in pleasure. He growled against your ear, one hand cradling your head, the other around your back. “Fuck baby, I am so close.”

“Me too…I…Eddie!” you screamed, gripping his shoulders for dear life as he plunged into you again and again, your orgasm shuddering through you. As your walls pulled tightly around him, he wasn’t long to follow, gripping you to him as he held himself within you, filling you with his release.

You felt when his muscles relaxed, his body going slack beneath you. Eddie continued to hold you to him, moaning softly with gratification as he kissed your forehead, your nose, your lips. You looked up to see him looking at you, a sleep, satisfied smile on his lips. Your hand came up to rest on his cheek as you tucked yourself against him, burrowing into your own personal safe space.

“Jesus…” he muttered with a low chuckle. “That was goddamn amazing. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you,” you stated, kissing his chest. “I’m so sorry I’ve been so distant during this trip. I’ve missed you so damn much and I feel like I’ve wasted our time together.”

“So, don’t go,” Eddie insisted. “What’s the rush? You can stay as long as you want.” You opened your mouth but he stopped you. “Look, I know the road is not a normal life for a baby. I’m aware of that. I get all your reasons but we’re not normal, sweetheart. We’re far from it. We have plenty of people on this tour to help. I miss you and Cadence so much. When you’re not with me, there’s just this hole…I’m not complete when you’re not here. I’m not happy. I’m not myself. Everyone notices it. Just, promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”

“There’s nothing to think about,” you said and his face fell, all hope vanishing instantly. Reaching out, you took his face in his hands, bringing his eyes back to yours. “There’s nothing to think about because I was already going to say that I think we should try it. I miss you too. I am miserable without you and Cadence needs her daddy. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to this and I am willing to give it a try.”

Eddie’s entire face lit up, those sweet simple appearing in his cheeks, his eyes like melted chocolate, so soft and warm as he pressed his lips to yours for a deep, gentle kiss.

“Yeah? You’re going to come on the road with me?”

“Baby, I would go anywhere with you. You’re my home, not some walls and a roof, just you,” you replied.

“You have no idea how happy you…”

You were cut off as the sound of Cadence’s cries shattered the quiet of the hotel room. Sighing, you went to get up but Eddie stopped you, gently pushing you back to the bed.

“I’ve got her. There’s still bottles you pumped in the fridge. You get some sleep.” Leaning over, he kissed your forehead. “Let me do my job. And hey, I have to thank my daughter. At least she let her dad finish before interrupting.”

You laughed, burrowing down in the bed as you watched him pull on some sweats and head out of the room. This was going to be good. Everything was going to be okay. You knew if anyone could make this work, it was the two of you.

#eddie munson #stranger things eddie #eddie the banished #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson rockstar au #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson rockstar #eddie munson fic #rockstar eddie munson

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effortandmore · 1 year

Text

tuesday moon | knj (18+)

summary: being “just friends” with kim namjoon sucks

pairing: namjoon x f!reader

rating: explicit (18+ please)

genre: fluff, smut

au: university, co-workers to lovers to friends to lovers again (they're oblivious)

warnings: it's mostly fluff i think. they're oblivious. smut: minors should not be interacting/reading, namjoon has a big dick, a lil praise kink, oral sex (f!receiving), penetrative sex, the usual suspects i think. drinking (but not before they sleep together), tae is into new age jazz... and they were roommates!

word count: 7.7k

a/n: so... i had this dream a couple months ago and couldn't get it out of my head, so here you go. thanks, sleep brain. the title is from a neutral milk hotel song (but tbh the '23 album isn't great). thank you to @ugh-yoongi and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over. and then for doing it again when i couldn't even find the mistake you told me was there 🙃

read on ao3

You’ve learned a lot in university—which given how much money you’ve spent to be there is a relief. But amongst business classes and writing workshops and statistics, the most important knowledge you’ve gained is that of small things.

Of small things and how they can change your life in unbelievably big ways.

Kim Namjoon isn’t exactly small. But the events that put him right in the middle of your life are. The first day you meet him is a Tuesday. Tuesdays have always been for non-events: for meetings and your least favorite classes… For snagging a coveted dryer on the third floor of the dorm building because Jeongguk saves it for you when he’s finished with his seemingly endless laundry. Tuesdays are for your first real uni friend, Taehyung, to show up to the laundry room unannounced and make you listen to weird new-age jazz on his phone that you hate, but love how much he loves it.

And then your work-study starts. A job in the library is supposed to be easy, has better hours than a lot of the jobs that are available, and pretty much only requires you to understand the Dewey decimal system so you can reshelve things quickly. You can count and read, and those seem to be the only things the head librarian cares about. Cake.

Your first training day is a Tuesday. It’s a rainy afternoon, and in one of the conference rooms in the back of the law floor are you and three other new employees. Right away, it seems like Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon are already friends. They joke and whisper throughout the orientation videos and absolutely make you feel like a fourth wheel. At your first break, Hoseok extends the invitation for you to sit with them when he notices you still sitting by yourself in the back of the room, and it's then that you learn they for sure already knew each other—music majors and all in the same class even though Yoongi is a little older than the other two. They signed up for all the same work-study assignments hoping they’d be placed together, hoping they could have a chance to work on music during slow times at the slowest work-study assignments. Namjoon, though, who has been quiet the whole time, finally speaks up at this.

“Well, I also like books,” he says softly, one side of his mouth turned up in a grin. “So, I guess I had an ulterior motive.”

“Of course you did, Namjoonie,” Hoseok replies.

Yoongi turns to you, explaining, “Namjoon’s a double major. Smartest guy we know. Literature and music.”

You talk more with them after the ice is broken—Yoongi’s a double major, too, math and music. Hoseok raps and does street dancing in his free time, and around the three of them, you feel like you’re woefully underachieving just at life in general.

“What about you?” Namjoon prompts after you get some background on all of them.

“Ah… nothing impressive. Economics major. Just what my parents wanted, you know. But I like books, too. I volunteer at the public library already, but it doesn’t exactly help with tuition.”

“You volunteer?” Namjoon repeats, looking surprised.

“Oh, yeah… It’s no big deal. I just read books to kids sometimes.”

“That’s awesome,” he says, and the look on his face tells you he might actually mean it. Next to him, Yoongi snickers and Hoseok smiles brightly at you.

“Namjoonie here has wanted to volunteer doing park clean up for a while, but Yoongi and I are always dragging him to the studio on the weekends, so he doesn’t have time.”

Namjoon shrugs. “It would be nice to feel like I’m helping, I think.”

“It is,” you agree, sharing a look with him across the table. “The purpose of life is to be useful…” You mumble the quote under your breath, assuming they wouldn’t know what you meant anyway.

“Emerson?” Namjoon asks.

“Oh! Uh… yeah, I mean… That’s what people think, but probably not. It’s most likely from a speech someone else gave when they gave Emerson an award, but most people think it’s him—” you cut yourself off when you notice Namjoon’s eyes gone wide.

“Self Reliance is one of my favorites,” he says, leaning forward, excitement playing in his voice.

“Same! No one ever knows what I’m talking about, but ‘Nothing at last is sacred but the integrity of one’s own mind’ is maybe my whole life philosophy,” you ramble, just happy that someone might finally know what you’re talking about. No one in your economics classes ever shows any interest in philosophy, anyway. Your roommate calls you a nerd every time you bring stuff like this up, and Jeongguk just stares at you with big eyes like he wants to drink every word you're saying but doesn’t understand a drop of it. But Namjoon actually looks… interested in what you’re saying. More than interested, even.

Yoongi elbows Hoseok and smirks. “Namjoon’s in trouble,” he says.

But before you can ask what that means, the head librarian interrupts to tell you it’s time to get back to training. You have to partner up for training to use the library’s reservation and shelving programs, and Namjoon comes right up to you, grinning shyly, and asks if you want to be his partner while his friends whisper on the other side of the room. You know immediately how this is going to go. Or you think you do, anyway.

And you’re right. By the end of the first week of your work study, you’re in Kim Namjoon’s bed.

It’s just like it sounds.

You’re naked, legs bent at the knees and open with his head between them. You noticed his brain first, but it only took that first afternoon to realize that not only was he smart, but stupid hot and kind and sort of funny in the sarcastic way you like, and he seemed to like something about you, too.

On Saturday, you work a slow shift together, both of you using most of the time to catch up on homework, and when it’s over, he asks if you want to come back to his place and keep studying. You agree quickly, but as soon as you get there, you realize you’re both on the same page about being more interested in studying each other than your class work. One thing leads to another, and here you are, moaning into your own palm as he flicks his tongue over your clit in a steady rhythm.

“Namjoon, I–” You’re pathetic, you think, gasping and barely able to make words come out of your mouth, but fuck if he’s not good at this. Better than you’d thought he would be, actually. He came across as a little on the shy side during work, like he might be one of those guys who needs you to tell him where the clit is. Eager to please, but not quite sure how to go about it. Willing to take direction.

He is not that.

“Gonna come, baby? You like my tongue that much?” Namjoon lifts his head to ask, and his lips are slick with you and his voice is deep and his fingers just don’t stop moving… It's so much.

“Yeah, so close…”

At that, Namjoon smirks and ducks his head back down to finish the job. He makes quick work of you, sucking on your clit and twisting one of your nipples with his free hand. The other has two fingers fucking into you in just the right way, just shallow enough to hit your g-spot each time he pushes in.

The orgasm builds fast, pressure from the inside, pressure from the outside… Everything feels so, so good, and you try to tell him so, but all you can do is whimper through it, clenching your thighs around his ears when you come on his tongue and he tries (bless him) to keep licking your core as your knees shake.

“Fuck,” you say on an exhale, arm tossed over your own forehead.

“I’m down,” he teases.

You’re about to say something sarcastic back, but when you lift your arm and look down at him, you lose that train of thought. He looks fucking incredible: flushed, a little sweaty, chin shiny with your orgasm and he’s grinning with those stupid dimples out… How could you not give him everything he wants? Maybe it’s the orgasm talking, the sweet rush of dopamine affecting you when you say, “I want that. Fuck me…” And for emphasis, when he stares at you a little stunned, you add, “Please, Namjoon?”

He only nods, enthusiastically and a little dopey with it, a little like the boy you saw in the library. But when his cock is out—big… like, really big. Why even have a cock that large, really? What’s even the point of that?—he’s smirking and appropriately (you hope) confident again.

“That is…” you look down and make a vague gesture in the direction of his dick, which makes him look down, too.

He shies almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s okay if it’s too much or whatever…”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I just… You look good.” You scoot up so you can have level eye contact. “Want you to fuck me. I can handle it, promise. I want to.”

Namjoon swallows, visibly nervous, but agrees anyway.

You knew it would be fine. Any partner who makes sure to tell you you’re beautiful, who makes sure you come first, who pays attention to your body the way he has for the last couple hours is probably going to keep doing that, you decide. And he does. He’s careful, even though you think it might actually be killing him a little to not move once he’s over halfway inside you. He checks in with you, makes sure the consent is still there, and then when you ask him to “actually fuck me, Namjoon… want your cock… all of you,” he does. And he delivers.

You’re essentially sitting in his lap, his palms spread on your hips as he moves you on his cock and it is… Well, it’s unequivocally the best anyone’s ever fucked you. His lips are on your neck, your breasts, the swell underneath them where they meet your ribcage… He keeps talking to you in his raspy whisper, making sure you feel okay, telling you how good you feel to him. There are times when he gets a little porny, telling you how tight you are (you’re sure a cock that big hasn’t seen anything not tight), and then he says, half out of breath, “Knew you would be a good girl. Knew it from the first time I saw you.” And you didn’t even know you wanted to be a ‘good girl,’ but suddenly you very much do.

Before he comes, he makes sure you do again, too. His thumb finds your clit and his lips are hot against your ear, whispering filth when you tighten around his cock and shudder in his lap. He’s not far behind you, pulling your hips down when he thrusts into you a little harder, sweat beading on his forehead with the effort. He’s quiet when he comes, just a low moan of your name as he stills under you.

After, it’s the small things he does that you like. It’s nice that he doesn’t try and move right away, just runs his hands up and down your back—soothing, almost. The closeness is nice, his head resting against your collarbone while you stroke your fingers through his hair. It feels intimate, more than a first time or a one night stand with your coworker should. But neither of you make a move to change that, so maybe it’s alright.

For now.

You haven’t exactly been the most social university student, but you know how these things are supposed to go. You clean up, you get dressed, you make awkward small talk about your classes or your work study and then you go your separate ways. You go back to your apartment and you don’t talk about what happened. He might look at you like he knows what’s underneath your hoodie next time you see him, but you know it won’t happen again. That’s not how it works. Not for you, anyway.

Kim Namjoon is a good guy, that you’re sure of. He’s a hard worker, he’s smart, he has lots of friends and hobbies and between that and school and work, you know there’s no way he’s looking for a relationship, and you also know he’s going to do his best to let you down easy if he thinks that’s what you’re after.

But, he’s your friend. And your co-worker, and the sex was great, so you want to at least spare him the effort of all that. So, when he gets up to dispose of the condom and find a washcloth, you get dressed quietly, pack your textbooks, and do your best to look mostly put together by the time he comes back.

“So,” you start as he returns to his room, “that was great… Really great, Namjoonie. Thank you.”

He looks… confused. “You’re thanking me for sex?”

“I uh… yes?”

Namjoon gives you a dimpled smile with an eyebrow raised, clearly amused. “Okay… Well, you’re welcome, then. And thank you.” He gives you a teasing bow, and with it, you feel a little relief. Because he’s obviously ready to move forward and this can just be a fun thing that happened and you don’t have to make him worry about letting you down, and you don’t have to worry about how much you fucking like him already. You can just be friends.

The problem, you realize quickly, is that being “just friends” with Kim Namjoon sucks.

It’s like sending your poor, delusional heart through a cheese grater with each of your work-study shifts. It’s swallowing down every dream of happiness when you have to sit next to him at a party and watch him nod along in agreement as Hoseok tells him how hot the new guy in his dance class is. (The guy is hot, with at least a 6-pack, big, pouty lips, and biceps like cannons. So, even you have to agree they have a point.)

Okay, that’s probably dramatic. Incredibly dramatic according to Taehyung and Jeongguk. Which, honestly, says a lot coming from them.

So, you do your best to forget your crush and just be cool about everything. You both make a frankly commendable effort to never talk about what happened between you, and after a few weeks, things don’t feel quite so weird. Namjoon’s probably relieved you never mentioned it again, didn’t expect him to be your boyfriend or anything.

You think you’ve done well.

At one party, halfway through the semester, you meet Namjoon’s friend, Seokjin. He’s quiet at first, polite with a big smile and a nervous laugh. He sticks close to Yoongi and Namjoon, and it doesn’t take long before he’s being shuttled across the large backyard in your direction.

“Hi,” he says simply. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh! That’s good… I think?”

“Yah, Namjoonie here—”

“Well, that was great!” Namjoon interjects. “Glad you two finally met. We’re late for something, though. So, bye!” And then he’s pulling Seokjin behind him through the yard in the opposite direction. It’s so weird.

In his protests, you’re pretty sure you hear him say, “You’re ridiculous,” to Namjoon. If you were more sober, you would have recognized it as the first small thing that should have tipped you off.

The second thing happens right before summer break. Your whole group, consisting of your and Namjoon’s friends, are sitting around at lunch discussing everyone’s plans for the summer. Hoseok and Jimin (the hot dancer he wouldn’t shut up about who is now his new boyfriend) are going to a dance clinic on the other side of the country. Jeongguk is going home, promising you he’ll leave you a list of acceptable laundromats in his absence. Seokjin and Taehyung are working—teaching acting classes to teenagers at summer camp.

Yoongi’s got an internship, so he’ll be around, but barely since it’s in the city and your university is a little outside of town. It’s a long subway trip, so he’s got a sublet up there he’s moving into for the summer months.

And then it’s Namjoon’s turn.

“I’m staying. Not on campus, obviously. But I found an apartment and I’m looking for a roommate.” Everyone nods along except Jeongguk, whose eyes dart from Namjoon to you and back several times.

“What about noona?” he finally says, hooking a thumb in your direction. “She’s staying, too.”

“Oh, I don’t think—”

“That’s not a bad idea…”

Namjoon and you look at one another. He’s flushed, and he’s doing that thing he does when he’s nervous where he rubs his throat.

“I’m sure Namjoon has plenty of people in mind already,” you say, trying to give him the out he clearly wants.

“Not exactly,” he mumbles.

“This is perfect!” Seokjin exclaims. “Don’t you think this is perfect, Namjoon?”

You lean over to whisper to Namjoon, “You don’t have to, it’s really alright.” It feels like you’re making him nervous, you can feel his muscles stiffen where you’re touching his arm, and the flush he was sporting is spreading to his neck now.

“Would you even want to?” He asks softly.

You’re not sure, actually. It’s already hard work trying to put your stupid crush out of your mind most days. And now, you only see him a few days a week. Your brain (a logical friend) is telling you that living with him will be terrible for your heart. Your heart isn’t as smart and is pounding faster just thinking about spending more time around your crush. Friend, you correct yourself.

The problem is that only Tae and Jeongguk know about your feelings, and none of them know you and Namjoon have already slept together. So, if you say no, it might be weird. As far as they know, you’re just friends, good friends. Why wouldn’t you want to live with him?

“Yeah,” you reply brightly, swallowing down your nerves, “it’ll be great, Joonie. I can cook and you can help me study for my summer classes.” You’re nodding along as you speak, trying to convince yourself that what you’re saying is true.

“Okay… sure. Roommates,” he says, looking a little stunned.

“Roommates!”

You stick your hand out to shake his. You’re the least sexy person to have ever existed, you decide, as he laughs and shakes your hand.

“It was a terrible idea,” you whine into Taehyung’s lap. “He’s just here… all the time. And sometimes…”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes he doesn’t wear a shirt!” You slump further into your friend, making what you know are pitiful whining noises into his thighs.

It’s not like you’d go as far as saying moving in with Namjoon for the summer was a mistake. But it wasn’t great. Actually, it was really fucking great, and that was the problem. Or part of the problem anyway.

The apartment is nice—nicer than you’d envisioned when he told you about it. Not too big, but on the corner of the building so you got nice light throughout the day. You each have your own bedroom (thank god) and they aren’t large, but Namjoon gave you the one with the room for a chair by the window, even though you knew he’d been planning to write lyrics there. As promised, you cook for both of you in your small kitchen and Namjoon helps you with your summer classes.

With all of your friends gone or busy, you two don’t see much of them, and it feels like you build your own little world: late nights listening to the records he brings home, eating simple meals by the window and complaining that you don’t have a balcony, getting dragged out on bike rides when the sun falls and it’s cool enough outside, hunched together on the floor of the living room scrolling webtoons and drinking one too many cheap beers, and the worst (best) of all—falling asleep on the couch together before you wake up with a jolt realizing your head is on him and it’s far, far too much to realize his chest is in your face… so you scramble to your room like a coward and don’t fall back asleep, too keyed up.

Seokjin, when you do see him, adds in more and more “old married couple” jokes as the summer goes on. He makes fun of your chore lists on the fridge, cutely decorated with whatever doodle has been occupying Namjoon’s mind that week.

(Jin doesn’t even know that when all the chores are done, you save the little post-it notes, snatching them off the fridge when Namjoon’s not around or not paying attention, and putting them carefully into a little box in your desk drawer with all the other scraps and mementos of your friendship you’ve kept over the almost-year you’ve known him.)

Jin teases you when he lets himself in, late in the mornings, and finds the two of you still asleep, tumbled atop each other on the floor, record-listening session gone too late, the needle still digging into invisible grooves at the center.

It’s not his fault it doesn’t feel like a joke to you, he doesn’t know that you feel like the 45 and all of the jokes and all of Namjoon’s smiles and all of the little notes he leaves and the way he blushes when you come out of the bathroom in your robe like maybe maybe there’s just a chance you’re not the only one still thinking about that one time… that those are the needles, and you’re here, spinning in place while they poke and prod and dig for a melody that just isn’t there.

Namjoon, to his credit, is the very definition of a good friend and roommate. He does all the little things. He brings you breakfast sometimes when he’s been out all night and knows you’ll be waking up shortly after he comes home. He cleans, so that even though he’s got so much stuff (endless records and books and figurines and things he just thought were cute), your apartment never feels dirty, just lived-in and homey and a little cluttered. Buys toothpaste when you forget—before you forget, even. Puts your favorite flavor of soju in the fridge every week even though he hates it.

And it’s not just what he does at home (your home. with him. which you try not to think about because the way the thought makes your heart swell and almost burst is dangerous and confusing, and you hate that you can’t stop thinking about it entirely.) he takes you out, too. It helps that he’s more social than you: gets you outside in the real world between classes and studying. Makes sure you touch grass. Does stupid dances with you to bad music at worse clubs. Buys you hotteok at 2am because he knows you want it even though you won’t admit it so he says both pieces are for him and lets you argue that it’s bad for his heart and you’re willing to take one off his hands just for the sake of his health… because you care for him.

You don’t let yourself think about the way it seems like he flushes and his eyes twinkle a little when you say that. It’s got to be in your imagination.

He doesn’t know that each time he goes out of his way to do something nice for you hurts a little. Doesn’t know that each time he’s a touch too sweet, you wish you’d stayed that one time. Can’t possibly relate to the way you wish that one night turned into a date turned into something more, maybe.

And you know he can’t relate, because he’s started doing this thing while you’ve been living together: talking about someone. Someone that he likes.

It’s devastating and you try so hard not to cry on the nights when it comes up. You succeed in never crying in front of him, but if you drip snot onto your pillow trying to hold back your sobs once you’re alone in your room, he doesn’t have to know.

You don’t know who she is, but you’ve overheard Namjoon on the phone with Yoongi talking about her. She sounds great, if Namjoon’s probably clouded judgment is any indication. He thinks she’s smart and talented, says she sells herself short and he thinks she’s as close to perfect as anyone on the planet. He doesn’t go out without you too often, and you don’t ask where he’s been if he doesn’t offer, but he must be spending time with her because you catch him on a video call with Hoseok saying she can cook and she’s brilliant and she’s everything he’s ever wanted.

She also sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s got, because Namjoon’s convinced she doesn’t like him back and that she’s out of his league—you finally ascertain that the reason he’s been going to the gym more was because one time she said she thought another guy had nice biceps and he knows they were bigger than his.

One time, you come home late, catching Tae at a bar near campus after he’s done with classes and drinking a little too much. You’re not drunk, but you’re in that warm space past sober where everything is a little softer and funnier and Namjoon looks dangerously pretty sitting at his desk with headphones on working on a song.

You plop on his bed, as you do now, and wait for him to notice you’re there. It doesn’t take long.

“Hey,” he says as he pulls off the headphones. He’s giving you the double-dimple smile, which is especially effective when you’re tipsy like this. Throws you more off-kilter than another cocktail would have. “Have fun with Tae?”

“Hmm… yeah.” You lay back on his bed and don’t let yourself worry about your shirt riding up or your hair spilling around you in a haystack. It’s just Namjoon, and you know he doesn’t think about you like that, know he’s already seen you with more skin showing, hair messier.

“Need me to get you some water?”

“No,” you sit up on your elbows, “s’okay. Didn’t drink too much. What’re you working on?”

Namjoon is staring right at you, something indiscernible on his face. He looks almost like he’s in pain or something. “You alright?”

He shakes his head and looks embarrassed. You have no idea why. “Yeah, fine… I’m fine. Just a song, nothing too special.”

“Can I hear it?”

“It’s personal… Kind of silly. It’s not done yet… I’m not sure you’d like it,” he says.

“I like everything you make.” It comes out too honest, you’re not sober enough to hide the tenderness in your voice, to wrap it in something less vulnerable.

There’s no response to that, and you worry you’ve given too much away for a split second before he unplugs his headphones and hits play on the song. And if you thought the sight of him working, bathed in moonlight and neon, was beautiful, this song is truly something else.

It’s lovely—sweeping melody and building building with layers until it crashes all around you, his voice low and quick, persistent with words of love. It’s a love song disguised as wordplay, or maybe the other way around. It’s him in music: smart and beautiful and selfless and breathtaking… You want to keep it, you want it to be yours, you want the words to be about you or for you or just written with you in the back of his mind. It’s too much, it’s so so beautiful, and you know it’s about her. It’s for her. She’s the one who has his attention and who gets his words and it makes you want to crawl under your blankets and never come out like a petulant child.

You’re laying down again, so you don’t know what he’s looking at as you listen. When it ends, you’re asking the question even though you don’t want the answer, even though him saying it will make it too real. “Is it about her?” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he answers, just as quietly. “It’s about her.”

You sit up quick, make sure you’re turned away from him so he can’t see the tears that are beginning to drip down your cheeks.

“It’s pretty,” you say as you head toward the door, hopefully not giving yourself away, not looking back in his direction. “Really pretty. She’s lucky, Namjoonie.”

You don’t see the confusion on his face as your bedroom door closes behind you. You don’t hear him tell you goodnight in a small, concerned voice.

After song-gate, you do your best to put a brave face on and move forward. It’s more for him than you, you have to tell yourself. Because you, your heart, you don’t want to let him go, can’t stand the idea of watching him be happy with someone else. But you, Kim Namjoon’s best friend, you want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if it’s not with you. And it’s hard, but for the most part, you let that version of you win.

You give him broad smiles and you keep not asking where he’s going when he leaves without you. You try really hard not to overhear his calls with Hoseok and Yoongi and when you do, you give him a ridiculous double-thumbs up and tell him to go for it, that she’d be a fool to turn him down. You’re pretty sure you’re the only one who ends up looking foolish in that moment though, even if you really, truly mean it.

One day (of course it’s a Tuesday), you come home from class, and you’re sorting through the mail when you spot a card on the counter that wasn’t there in the morning. Namjoon must’ve left it when he came home, you can hear the shower running from down the hall. It’s rare he beats you home on Tuesdays, always saying he’s got “something” to do “across town” and you just assume it’s with her, so you don’t ask.

But what’s more interesting than him being home early is what the card is: a temporary driver license issued to one Kim Namjoon. It’s got a picture of him, dimples out and glasses on, dated that day. You hadn’t even known he’d taken the class or the tests. You wonder why he wouldn’t tell you… It’s a big deal to him—he’d always said he didn’t need it, liked taking the bus and the metro. Thought cars were bad for the planet and that there were too many of them in the city anyway. But here’s the card, proof that for some reason he thought it was time for a change.

“Oh! You… I didn’t mean for you to find that…”

You look up. Namjoon’s standing by the couch, watching you examine his license, wrapped in a towel because if there’s a god, he only wants you to suffer.

“You got your license?”

“Ah… the temporary one, yeah. Still need to take the road test.”

He seems nervous, fidgeting with the blanket on the back of the sofa. You don’t know why he’d be nervous, it’s cool, you think. One more thing to add to the seemingly endless list of things Namjoon can do.

“Proud of you, Namjoonie. But… why? I thought you didn’t want to drive.”

He shrugs. “Don’t really, but… I just thought… Well, I thought if I got up the nerve to ask someone on a date, it would be nice to drive her. Just once or twice. Make it special, I guess. It’s probably stupid, but I thought y—” He cuts himself off and pauses. Looks out the window and scrunches his forehead up like he’s scolding himself. “I thought she might like that,” he says, finally.

“Did she tell you to get a license?” You’re sure you sound as outraged as you feel when you ask.

“No! She wouldn’t… No. I just wanted to try.”

“Okay. Okay, good. You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, Joonie.” And then you do that thing again, where you say too much, where it comes out too fond. “You’re more than enough just the way you are. If she doesn’t know that, she’s not good enough for you.”

Namjoon smiles softly. “I’m starting to think she does,” he says.

And the look on his face… It’s happiness and warmth and fuck you wish it was for you. Those nagging feelings of wanting more more more from him are welling up in your chest. “Good,” you say, still too tender as you set the card in his palm and scoot past him to your room, mail forgotten. “That’s the very least of what you deserve.”

Later that night, you’ve tucked the soft and vulnerable parts of you back inside, showered, ordered food, and sent Namjoon down to pick it up with a stop at the convenience store for soju and beer. You can do this, you tell yourself in the mirror, psyching yourself up for the first time you both will hang out with all your friends in months.

The summer is drawing to an end. Seokjin and Taehyung are done teaching, Jimin and Hoseok got back over the weekend, Yoongi’s internship ended the week prior, and Jeongguk is back from his visit home, everyone returning in time to buy books and settle in for the new semester.

You and Namjoon have decided to keep the apartment: close enough to campus, affordable enough, and you both bashfully agreed you liked living together, an arrangement sealed with the secret handshake greeting from a drama you’d watched together over the summer. So, you have the biggest apartment out of all your friends (which doesn’t say much), and they’ve all decided in your group chat that the group “welcome home” party would take place in your living room.

Seokjin and Taehyung arrive first, Jeongguk in tow. They’re pouring through your door play-fighting and laughing and for a minute, you forget your crush on your roommate, you forget he’s pining after someone else, and you just feel so much joy that your friends are back as they pull you into a crushing group hug.

“We brought wine,” Seokjin says.

“Ew!” (A twin chorus from you and Jeongguk).

“Fine, you two have your cheap soju and leave the good stuff for the rest of us.”

“Hyung, that bottle was only six—”

“Shh! Have some respect!” Seokjin says, slapping in the air in Tae’s general direction.

They file into the kitchen to drop off snacks and cheap wine while you leave to dig around in Namjoon’s room for some records to play. It’s a hassle, finding enough that you like and then having to flip them every fifteen minutes, so you finally give up and resign yourself to just playing a playlist off your phone. Or anyone’s phone except Taehyung’s anyway, because “experimental jazz night” was not a hit last time he suckered you all into it.

When you come back down the hall, your kitchen is suspiciously quiet. There is whispering and you can’t hear what they’re saying but you know anytime Jeongguk and Seokjin are colluding that it means trouble.

“What’s going on in here?” You ask as you make it back to the kitchen.

The three of them are reading the notes on your fridge and they all hop around immediately. Jeongguk and Taehyung have the decency to look guilty, but Seokjin just looks like he’s unearthed the lost city or something.

“What are these?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Our shopping list? Chore list?”

Seokjin grins. “No, not those… These.” He plucks a sticky off the fridge and starts reading it aloud.

“...And greet the all auspicious day,

Whose privilege permits my song—”

You can feel your face like a wildfire, hot and persistent, as you snatch the piece of paper out of his hand and tuck it in your pocket.

“That’s nothing. Just a poem”

“That’s not nothing, that’s a love poem.”

“We just leave each other quotes sometimes,” you mutter, fussing around the kitchen, opening the bags of snacks and setting them on the counter. “It’s no big deal. Just a small thing.”

Jeongguk looks at you with wide eyes. “And you sometimes leave each other love poems?” he asks cautiously.

“I guess… It’s whatever,” you say.

“What’s whatever?” Hoseok’s bright voice drifts into the room. You snap your head up to see that he’s with Jimin, and they’re followed in by Yoongi and Namjoon, carrying all the food and drinks.

“Namjoon hyung and Noona leave each other love notes on the fridge!” Jeongguk says brightly. “It’s so cute.”

Your jaw actually drops, and you see in your periphery, Namjoon’s is doing the same.

“They’re not love notes!” You protest.

“They’re poems,” Namjoon adds with indignance.

“Besides,” you add, “he’s got a girlfriend or whatever.” You know you sound a little annoyed, and you don’t want to, but it’s worth it if it gets them off your backs.

“Wait, what?” Yoongi finally joins the conversation, peeking his head around the corner into the kitchen.

Six pairs of eyes are on you, and one (Namjoon’s) is anywhere but. You get the offputting feeling that something is happening, but you don’t know what. That the boys staring at you know something you don’t.

“Namjoonie… He’s got a girl he likes. So, they’re not love notes. They’re just quotes we like.”

Yoongi stares at you like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing, and then Hoseok says, “Oh my god, they are that bad.”

Seokjin nods. “The worst, actually.”

“What? What is going on?” You ask. The question is directed at anyone, but you’re looking straight at Namjoon, who still won’t look at you.

“I’m just gonna open some soju,” Jimin says. “Come on, guys.”

The statement is clearly directed at Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk, who are all still huddled by the fridge, clearly amused at whatever is unfolding in your kitchen. One by one, they file out. Namjoon tries to follow them, but Yoongi unceremoniously shoves him back into the kitchen with a hissed, “I don’t think so, Namjoon.”

“I’m so confused,” you say quietly. Namjoon finally lifts his gaze to meet yours, and he looks so so nervous. Just like the day you’d agreed to be roommates. You have no idea why, because you’d never do anything to make him feel that way, not on purpose. “Is this about her? I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have—”

“No! I mean… yeah, it’s about her. Or you, I guess?”

“Me?”

Namjoon nods. He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You. You and her.”

“I don’t even know her, Namjoonie.”

He sighs. “You are her.”

You’re every meme of confused people trying to do math. You think you probably have a literal question mark above your head. You think you heard him right but… but there’s no way that it’s what he meant.

“What?”

Namjoon looks like it’s almost painful to keep speaking, also a little apologetic. “I like you,” he says, shrugging. “I like you so much, and I’m a dick for agreeing to be your roommate when I felt that way, and I thought after that one time… Well, I thought maybe you needed more and that’s why it never happened again, so I started going to the gym more and trying to… I don’t know. Be more?” He runs a hand through his hair and slumps against the counter. “I just like you so much and I wanted you to like me, too. But I—”

“You like me?”

“Oh, fuck, so much.” It’s almost out like a breath, floats through the space between the two of you, waves itself in front of your face.

“That’s why you thought it would be weird to be roommates…” you say, pieces clicking together.

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees. “And why I tried to get biceps like Jimin and why I leave you love notes on the fridge, and why I wrote you a whole song about how incredible you are, how you make me feel, and how much I want you even though you don’t want me back…”

“Biceps like Jimin?”

“You said they were nice…”

“Oh my god.” Little details of the past few months since you slept together all start floating around in your head and you see it so clearly now, it all starts to make sense, all the silly little things Namjoon does for you because it’s you, because he likes you… and oh no…

“Namjoon.”

“Yeah?” He’s painfully cute like this—nervous and a little shy, hair falling into his eyes like it can protect him from looking right at you.

You take a couple of steps closer to him. “I like you, too.”

“You what?”

“I like you, too. Just the way you are. I like all the nice small things you do for me, I like how you think, I like how you smell like soap all the time ‘cause you take a million showers… I like living with you… I like your records and your books and… And it’s stupid probably, but I save all your doodles like a teenager would ‘cause I just like you so fucking much… And I’m the bad friend, the one who moved in with you even though I liked you like this. I thought I would get over it. I thought… I don’t know. I thought after we slept together you just wanted to be friends, so I’ve been trying so hard, but…”

“It’s awful,” he says, a giant grin on his face as he watches you stumble through your confession. “I thought you just wanted to be friends, too. You left before I could ask you to stay.”

“Yeah, it is awful. Liked you since that first day in the library.”

“Fuck, me too. We’re so ridiculous.”

“Jin was right, we’re the worst,” you whisper.

“You are!” You hear Jin call from the living room.

You let your head fall forward and bury it in Namjoon’s chest as he wraps an arm (with a perfectly sized bicep, you note, reminding yourself to tell him later) around you and laughs into your hair.

“You’re listening to us?” you protest.

“Hard not to,” Yoongi answers, “small apartment.”

“You fucked?!” Hoseok yells.

“Oh my god,” you moan into Namjoon’s shirt.

“I bet they made love,” you hear a dreamy-voiced Jimin chime in.

You can feel Namjoon’s laugh rumble through his chest against your ear. It’s the best feeling you’ve felt in months.

“So,” you start, pulling your head off his chest, but letting him slide his arm down yours until you’re loosely holding hands. “What now?”

“Well, we should probably talk.”

You peek around him to see your friends all staring at you. “Maybe later?” you ask.

“Later is good.” Namjoon smiles so so big. You love knowing that you’re the one making him feel happy, you think you’re a little ridiculous for being jealous of some other non-existent girl this whole time.

“We like each other,” you say, still a little in shock.

“We do.”

Then, because you’re you, and you have not ever once been cool in front of Kim Namjoon, you lift your palm up. And because he’s him, and now you know he probably thinks he has never once been cool around you, he gives you a high five, his palm connecting with yours and then lingering there while you look at each other and you try not to lift up on your toes and kiss the shit out of him.

“Did they just high five?” Hoseok asks, incredulous.

“They’re so weird. Do you remember when they shook hands on being roommates when it was so obvious they wanted to jump each other on the couch? They probably kissed no tongue and called it sex,” Seokjin says, unhelpfully.

“Hey!” you shout. “We can hear you!”

“The sex was really great, for your information,” Namjoon says, and your face heats immediately.

“It was,” you agree, if for no other reason than it really really was. And you want to make Seokjin as uncomfortable as possible. “Namjoon really knows wh—”

“This is going to be even worse than them being oblivious, isn’t it?” Yoongi asks no one in particular, cutting you off.

But that night after your friends leave, and you do get the chance to kiss Namjoon again, who is now not only your roommate, but your boyfriend, you know Yoongi couldn’t have been more wrong. This is infinitely better than being oblivious to Namjoon's feelings.

“What do you see in me?” he says into the ceiling, sweaty and a little hazy post-orgasm, after you’d made sure to seal your new arrangement properly. No high fives, no handshakes, just long kisses and nervous touches turning more sure, Namjoon making sure to whisper into your skin how much he cares for you, how sexy he thinks you are, how long he’s waited to have you again like this…

(And you returning those words, moving your hips in slow circles in his lap, fingernails trailing across his shoulders as you tell him how good he is, how gorgeous he looks, how his biceps are the exact right size for you to squeeze—which makes him laugh while he fucks you, and if that’s not the best thing you’ll ever see in your life, you’re not sure what is...)

You lace your fingers with his and turn to him, thinking about all the things you love about him, how all those pieces layer together to make something so big that it seems to take up your whole heart. “I like all the small things that make you, you.”

And he kisses you as a reply, lips soft and sweet on yours, and you decide that from now on, Tuesdays are for kissing your boyfriend in the moonlight and making sure he knows exactly how much you like him so that neither of you are ever unsure again.

#namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon imagine #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon fanfiction #knj x reader #kvanity #btshoneyhive #bts smut #bts fluff #bts writing #bts fanfic #bts imagines

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ellieswifie · 4 months

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matt sturniolo sfw alphabet headcannons

𐙚 head cannons!

authors note: heyy i hope you all enjoy this abc sfw matt headcannon. this is based off this request from @iammattswife. im excited to make a chris sfw too if anyone wants one! thank you for reading enjoy!!!

a- affectionate (how affectionate are they? how do they show this affection?)

knowing already how much matt cares for his family, i swear he’d be so affectionate. he’d just simply do little things like send you cute messages in the morning, or tell you have beautiful and amazing you are, just to remind you that he does care and love you.

b- babies (do they want a family with you? how good around kids are they)

yes! matt would absolutely be an incredible dad. he just seems like he’d be so gentle and loving if you were pregnant with his kids ugh. he also wouldn’t rush the thought of wanting kids with you if you guys were married. he’d sure bring the idea up every once in awhile, but he’s not too pushy about the entire thing. bro if his kids got his blue eyes, i’d be dead.

c- cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how often do they want to cuddle?)

matt would love cuddling. he’d want to cuddle during movies, just laying in bed together, after filming, or even just during a random afternoon. he’s definitely a little spoon, or big spoon when he knows you need to be held, but he’s totally a big teddy bear.

d- dance (do they like to dance with you? are they good at dancing?)

matt is the best dancer. justin’s words, not mine. if you guys are sharing airpods, or have music playing off each others phone or speaker, matt would just love to dance around with you. maybe it’s in his room, or the kitchen, or even in the parking lot after a kate drive. he’s always dancing and is willing to dance with you whenever.

e- effort (how much effort and energy do they put into your relationship? like dates, gift giving, anniversaries, bdays, etc.)

matthew sturniolo puts so much effort into your relationship. he’s making sure you feel love me and comfort all the time, and he spends hours planing dates. okay maybe not hours, but he spends a lot of time thinking on what makes a good date a good date. he doesn’t seem like someone who’d plan big parties or huge dinners, so when it comes to birthday presents or anniversary gifts, he tries to keep it low key and simple, but so meaningful. which i find so sweet.

f- fights (how do they handle fights?)

if you have any short of attitude or a tone towards matt, he’ll probably give you space. he has his mattitudie moments too, and doesn’t necessarily want to anger you more by trying to reason with you, but if something is really bothering you, he’ll definitely just want to talk to you.

if you guys had gotten in a argument about something together, the story would be a little different i feel like. he’d definitely not want to stay up all not pickering about something in, so he’d sleep it off, then immediately talk to you about it in the morning, reasoning with you. matt is so gentle and genuinely looks like he cares, even when he disagrees.

g- gratitude (how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what you/significant other is doing bc for them?)

oh matt tells you he’s so grateful for you everyday. he makes sure your more than aware throughout the day, even if you aren’t exactly with him.

h- hand holding (when/how often do they like to hold hands?)

now we know what matt isn’t super on pda, but if you guys are in public together, he’s always holding your hand. in his pocket, at his side, behind your back, it’s always shuttle but comfortable.

i- insight (how easily can they read you? mood, feelings, tone, etc.)

i feel like matt reads body language easily. so if your like sloppy with your words or talking less, he’d probably ask if your okay because he reads these things.

j- jealousy (do they get jealous? if so, how easily? how do they deal with it?)

i feel like jealousy isn’t a issue in your relationship. matt isn’t like a pussy boyfriend who wines and cry’s when a guy looks at you. he definitely would trust you aren’t that type, and he trusts himself in not cheating. if he does get a rush jealousy of some sort, it’s probably because of some fool.

k- kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they kiss you? where do they liked to be kissed?)

probably amazing. he’ll definitely love forehead kisses and innocent neck kisses. maybe some on your hand or cheeks.

l- love language (what is their love language?)

PHYSICAL TOUCH!!! matt is definitely the type of boyfriend to be touching you all the time. in the car, his hand placed on your knee or thigh. in public, your holding hands. during dinner, his foot is creasing yours under the table. he’s just naturally a physical touch boyfriend.

he’s definitely words of affirmation too.

m- mornings (how are mornings with them?)

lazy, but absolutely perfect. matt seems like he’d wake up early, but i feel like if it’s just you too laying in bed, you guys are laying in bed all morning. just holding each other and talking about cheesy things that need to get off your chest,

n- nicknames (what pet names/nicknames does he move to call you?)

oh matt’s calling you practically everything. babe, baby, beautiful, love, pretty, princess, your name ofc, etc. now he for sure mentioned bubba wubba isn’t on the table, but we know matt he’s lying.

o- open (how open to their feelings are they to you? when did they say they i love you? do they mention everything all at once, or wait to reveal things slowly?)

it would take matt awhile to completely come to his senses that he has someone to talk to. yes he’d be very straight forward how he feels, but it wouldn’t take him immediately realize and say it, he’d for sure need time to open up, but when he does he tells you everything.

p- patience (how patient are they with you? how easily angry do they get?)

matt would be so patience with you. if your having trouble getting something off your chest, he’s holding your hands assuring you

q- quality time (what do they do with quality time with you?)

most likely matt’s cuddling with you in his free time, or doing something crafty. like coloring or building legos, i’ve just got a cheesy feeling he’d do that.

r- rhythm (what songs/song reminds you of them?)

omg if you like taylor swift, you remind him of almost every single song. i know he mentioned taylor swift before, but like i have a feeling he’d just listen to a song you like from her on repeat because it reminds him of you.

if you don’t like taylor which is fine, you probably remind him of a frank ocean song (definitely godspeed or ivy), miguel song ((ALL I WANT IS YOU) love this song omg), or practically any mac miller song.

s- security (how protective are they when of you?)

he’s definitely more protective of you than you are of him. the sturniolo fandom is all over the place and he doesn’t really want his relationship interacting with weird and disrespectful fans. so he’ll try to distance you from car videos and on tour. when you are in a video it’s probably only for a few minutes in a vlog or a short mention.

t- tough guy (how tough are they around you?)

as chris likes to say matt is the tough guy, but when he’s with his s/o i know for a fact his tough guy shell breaks. he’s more like a little baby wanting love and comfort, then a big intense guy.

u- upset (how do they act when their upset/tired? what helps them feel better?)

we’ve all seen matt’s attitude. he can be mean, but he’s not the big bad wolf. he’ll definitely distance himself from you so he’s not getting angry at you for something he did, or even cranky with you. i think

v- vanity (do they care about how much makeup you wear or not? do they constantly care about what you wear?)

matt probably loves when you dress up and will constantly tell you how beautiful you look, but he won’t expect it out of you every day nor does he care what you wear. he wants you to dress comfortable while feeling yourself.

w- wildcard (a random head cannon for character)

weirdo head cannon but head scratches. i’ve got a gut feeling that matthew would absolutely love his girlfriend scratching his head through his hair with her nails. the two of you will be laying on the couch or his bed, him sitting in between your legs while you watch something off his phone and scratch his head. it’ll for sure probably be a stress reliever for him.

x- explicit (nsfw headcannon)

idk.. do you guys want one?

y- yearn (what do they do when they miss you?)

always texting and calling you. he’d probably send silly snap chat vlogs, or gifs to let you know he misses you and can’t wait to talk to you in person again. he also definitely calls you before bed too to wish you good night and to remind you he loves you.

z- zen (what makes them feel comfortable and calm?)

you. and your presence.

#ellieswifie #gracie writes #fem!reader #fluff #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sfw headcanons #matt sturniolo fluff #matt head cannons #alphabet headcanons #matt sturniolo x reader #matt #matthew sturniolo #matthew #matt sturniolo angst

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scremogirl · 7 months

Note

HEAR ME OUT PLS!... reader whos fine w casually/non casually/no romantic fucking... this prompt is sickening LITERALLY as long as reader gets birth control/condoms theyre ay-okay with it

(doesnt need 2 be added:D FIND WHAT U THINK SUITS UR WRITING ATM)

example js

reader scrolling on their phone while nerd is rearranging their guts

council president railing reader while theyre in a mating press on a chair

childhood friend who didnt even have to ask you to take care of their problem since middle school(?)

seems like NONCHALANT!Reader but this reader just doesnt care abt what they want and just cares for their friends...in their own way...Add whatever u like sosa!!!! <3

stawppp it.

(presents an AFAB reader)

Yandere! Nerd has been so pent up lately and never has time to relive his stress. With all the club meetings, preparing for college and the love of his life ignoring him, it's obvious he's got a lot on his plate. Therefore, when he finally has the time to let loose, there's no way he could bother with protection.

"Please, baby? I know how much you like it raw anyways. You're still on the pill right? oh what he hell, it's not like you care that much. You have been a little snippy with him lately so he deserves this much. The only problem with is that you can't be bothered with putting in that much effort. So here you are now laying flat on your stomach while Yandere! Nerd pounds your brains out.

"Ugh fuckkk angel, it feels so gooddd," his heavy breathing and the light blush on your cheeks make you clench around him harder. You make him pull out as you roll yourself over on your back. You grab your phone again as he shoves himself back in you. You angle your camera to where your hips meet, occasionally aiming it at his face. He cums so much that when he pulls out some of it lands in the camera lens.

!Ping!

Angel😇💕💍: 1 attachment

Angel😇💕💍: srry I can't be there tdy. cramps and what not.

enjoy this instead :p

When do you get off your period again?

Sigh. How's he supposed to work like this?

Yandere! Council president rubs his temples and lets out a deep sigh of frustration. The council is having an after school celebration along with some club members because of last weeks fundraiser.

They did well but someone needs to count all of the funds and there's no way he'll trust anyone else do it.

He stands from his chair opening the door, on his way to tell them to keep it down bug to his surprise your on the other side of the door.

"What're you doing here?"

"I go to school here," he sighs at your blunt behavior.

“Yes, I know that. I mean what are you doing at school after hours?" you held up a bag of food and he already knew what you were gonna say before you said it. He opens the door to let you in, relived that at least one thing can cheer him up.

"Besides." you continue

"I'm horny. I was gonna get a quick one out before I went back but then I remembered you were here. I can obviously see your not feeling well and Im in the mood for something rough: take it out on me,"

The chair bangs against the table as you legs are pressed against your head. Who knew you were this flexible? He'll have to keep that in mind for later, right now he's focused on shooting his load as deep as he can. The music outweighs your moans and isn't until you here a loud bang on the door that you stop.

"(Y/N)? You in there? We're about to start truth or dare. Julie's gonna dare Chris to jump ass naked into the school pool. You don't wanna miss it." says a voice from outside the door.

“I’ll - fuck I'll be out in a second. Ate to much, ugh dip y'know; a little full," and with that they leave.

Yandere! CP turns your face towards him with an animalistic sneer.

"The only thing you'll be full of is my cum."

Please take a plan B 🙏🏾

(You guys are seniors here!!!)

Everyone's masturabted before, let's be honest.

Curious minds wanting to feed their growing sexual appetite. So when Yandere! Childhood friend came to you about his little problem, it was your duty as his best friend to help.

"(Y/N) it hurtssss! Just look how red the tip is!" on queue it twitches and pulses under your gaze.

Jeez the guy has no shame does he? He grabs the base, stroking his hard cock under his strong palm. It didn't take you much conniving since you were already on your knees before him.

"Oh shit baby! Gonna let me pump it all down your throat? Ughh, gonna-gonna milk all of it outta me princess I swear,” he says between pants, continuing throat fuck you. His orgasm nears as he grabs the base of your neck and forces you down on him. Spit and cum dribbling down your child and into your chest. He paints your face and swipes his fingers on your face before forcing it back into your mouth. After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees sitting on the couch turning on Lilo and Stitch.

"Make some popcorn for us will ya?"

You literally suck the soul outta him and then ask him to do something other than go another round; he’s gonna do it but damn 😭

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere childhood friend #yandere! nerd x reader #★♑︎☆彡𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎✪𝐍!☆♏︎★#yandere student council president #💕 anon

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 9 months

Text

Bad Reputation 1

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, other dark elements. Proceed with caution.

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

“I can’t tell you how much I need this,” Maria sighs as you put down the cocktail before her.

“Yeah, me too,” you sit back and twirl the straw in your drink.

“You sure about this place?” She looks around as she lifts the glass filled to the brim with a pink and purple ombre, topped with a wedge of bright lime. “Seems a bit young for us.”

“Uh, well, Google Maps isn’t exactly intuitive, I guess. You said drinks and I didn’t think you’d wanna go down to some dive.”

“Mm, yeah, I might run into my husband,” she scoffs, setting down her drink and rubbing her temples, “I can’t explain to you how intense it’s been. I don’t know what’s going on with him.”

“Sounds like he wants to be your father, not your husband,” you roll your eyes.

“No, no ‘I told you so’s’,” she crosses her arms, “because I know. You were right. He’s controlling. I just… I didn’t think he’d get this bad.”

You nod. You don’t want to be right. You care for your friend. You want her to be okay.

“Where does he think you are right now?”

“With the kids,” she says guiltily, “I told him I was taking them to my parents’ place. Which I did, he just thinks I’m there too.”

“Jeez,” you rub your chin, “so, what do you think? Talking to a therapist or a lawyer?”

She looks at you, a dire spark in her eyes, “I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out. Either one is going to be like pulling teeth.”

“Yeah, I can only imagine.”

“God, I wish I was you,” she lifts her glass again, “single, childfree, alive.”

“Oh, Mar, don’t say that. You just need to get through this. And you can. The both of you just need to figure it out. You need to adjust. You never did, really. He kept on doing the same things, meanwhile you gave up everything to be with the kids. You deserve to get some of you back.”

“Please,” she wiggles her nose, “you know I get weepy when I drink.”

“And look at me getting sentimental,” you chuckle, “alright, that’s it.” You pick up your cocktail and chug it, trickling a little down the corner of your mouth. You wipe away the excess and slam the glass down, “you’re going to finish that. Then we’re going to get another and we’re going to dance.”

“Dance? College ended a long time ago–”

“We’re still wild, Mar, you’ll see. Down it and lets do a double to get in the mood. I’m not letting you go until your leaning.”

She huffs and shakes her head, hovering her drink before her lips, “you really are a bad influence.”

“Oh, you can be sure to tell Frank he was right about me,” you wink.

🎶

You come out onto the pavement as the buzzing of the music sticks in your ears. You made it to last call but Maria is barely holding on as she clings to your shoulder. You giggle and search for a cab among the rabble of clubbers dispersing in pairs and larger groups.

You see the Golden Arches just behind the row of buildings across the street, “how about some Mickey D’s, huh? Suck up some of that vodka?”

“No, I gotta get home,” she babbles into a belch.

“You know you want a McChicken? Oh, how about nuggets? You know the sweet and sour sauce is your fave.”

“Stop!” She nearly shouts in your ear.

“I’m not going home till I have a juicy Big Mac in these paws,” you drag her down the sidewalk.

“Ugh, I can’t believe it’s after two,” she manages to bobble beside you, swaying slightly as she keeps a hold of your arm, “I’m a mother! My kids–”

“Are well taken care of,” you assure her, “this is girls’ night and it’s not over yet.”

You turn the corner, a few others ahead of you seem to have the same destination in sight. In the back of your mind, you know you’ll regret it in the morning but right now, your mouth is watering for over processed meat and cheese. Maria hiccups and hums.

“I’m gonna feel like shit,” she voices your inner monologue.

“We can feel like shit together,” you laugh, “just like college–”

Suddenly she slips away from you. At first you think she tripped but then you see the shadow dragging her back down the pavement. You know that gait, that lumbering rhythm, shoulders squared, nostrils puffing like a bull. Really? That jackass.

“Frank,” you shuffle to catch Maria’s other arm as she stumbles senselessly behind him, whimpering, “let her go.”

“Let my wife go,” he marches but you cling to Maria, drawing him back, “stay out of my marriage.”

“This isn’t about you, we’re having fun–”

“You need to grow up,” he keeps one hand on Maria as he rears on you, wagging his thick finger in your face, “mind your fucking business and stay away from my goddamn wife.”

“She’s an adult. She can do what she wants–”

“I know your bullshit. You get her all worked up then talk her into your dumb shit. Because you can’t hold onto a man of your own–”

“Pfft, whatever, I don’t need some asshole like you, Frank Castle–”

You stagger back as his fist cracks across your cheek. You taste blood as you fall backwards onto your ass, crying out at the pain that zips through your hip, ankle thrumming as you manage to unhook your heel from a crack in the sidewalk. You whine and cradle your head.

“Oh my god, are you o–” Maria reaches for you, hanging from Frank’s grasp.

“Come on. Home,” he snarls and jerks her away, “where you belong.”

“Hey,” you get to your knees, head swirling as you try to plant a foot.

“You follow me and I’ll leave you in the gutter,” he stops and points at you again, “fucking trash.”

You spit out blood into your hand, frozen in fear and dizziness. You can barely believe he hit you. He really hit you. You just hope he doesn’t do worse to Maria.

#frank castle #dark frank castle #dark!frank castle #frank castle x reader #bad reputation #drabble #series #au #the club #the punisher #marvel #mcu

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desswright29 · 9 months

Text

All up in your mind

Contains: Sexual Content, Angst, Fluff, Suspense

Word Count: 3.1k

Taglist: @imjusthere2readbruv,@bubbleblowinggirl, @euph0ricx0,@bellaallebbella1, @minionslikeppl, @melanated-queen, @letitiasnyash, @tishlvr, @writtenbymarie, @doramilaj233, @lichuchin, @6-noir, @jackdrawsjunk, @Ippriceisright

Last Time on Half Crazy (lol):

Riri sat in the darkness of the room, in the center of her bed. She’d hacked into Shuri’s Kimoyo beads allowing them to connect to hers a while back, and now she sat listening. Imagining Shuri taking care of her the way she took care of you. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her jaw clenched in anger. It should be her. You didn’t get her the way she did. Ok, so you looked good and were a good fuck. But what else? Shuri is confused. She doesn’t know what she wants or needs.

“I’ll show her.”

Riri was up bright and early, as she was every morning. Not much time to rest when there was a plan that needed to be put into motion. She danced around the lab as her music played over the speakers.

“Tell Mama that I’d do it for you

This rider always want you

I’ll be groupie for you”

She sang as she smiled visions of her and Shuri making love in this very lab taking over her mind. Shuri choking her up against the wall as she slammed her strap in and out of her. There was no kissing, no true connection.. and yes Shuri very well could’ve been using her body to relieve her stress. But, it happened; and she’d be damned if it wasn’t the best sex she’d ever had! She bit her lip as she looked over her handywork proudly. A couple of weeks had passed since y/n came and fucked up all the progress her and Shuri were making together. Ugh, that little wife of hers had proven to be much more of a problem than Riri had anticipated. “Bitch.” She stated to herself. She wouldn’t be a problem anymore after today though. Today was the day that all of her hard work would be placed into action.

“I try to get all up in your mind

Is my love a crime

Cause I wanna make you mine”

For the past two weeks she played docile. Getting up early to have alone time in the lab to work on her “special project”. The rest of the day she would collaborate with Shuri with no unnecessary interactions. Not like it mattered any way. She’d been so caught up in her little reunion with her wife she wasn’t even paying her any mind and was continuously leaving Riri to her own devices in the lab. Last Tuesday she came in for an hour, then left to surprise y/n with a trip to fucking Santorini because her friend Tolu told her she’d been raving about some restaurant called Argo. Spoiled slut. But it ended up working to the benefit of Riri. She’d thought long and hard, making sure to be very strategic in the way she went about her plan.

At first she thought about coming up with away to remove Shuri’s memory of y/n. But everyone would know something was off with that. They’ve known eachother all their lives. Hm, no she knew she could do better than that. She thought about just drugging her, but that was so, primitive and temporary. And then there was Shuri’s panther suit. NANOTECH! It was brilliant! She’d just have to find a way to make the vibranium nanotechnology digestible. Riri would create a setting in her Kimoyo beads that would cause the tech to send transmitions to Shuri’s brain once it was inside of her body and then BOOM! HaHa! She’s in control of Shuri’s thoughts! It was a great day to be a GOT DAMN genius! And soon this would all be hers!

“I try to get all up in your mind

It stops at a crime and I'm gonna make you mine

I try to get all up in your mind

I'll go and do the time if it means I'll make you mine

My eyes, yeah, they really like your smile

It stops the time, yeah, I'll stay here for a while

You give me that good feeling that I need

Why don't you take the time to really notice me?

I try to get all up in your mind

It stops at a crime and I'm gonna make you mine

I try to get all up in your mind

Be careful what you ask for 'cause I just might comply”

Riri laughs as the song ends. Today she’d have her Queen.

It was 5 am. Shuri sat in the claw foot bathtub, that sat in the center of your bathroom. Her head tilted back, eyes closed, and her mouth slightly ajar as she gripped the sides of the tub. “Hmmm” She groaned, as the hot water and vanilla scented bubbles sloshed over the sides of the bathtub. Your lips were attached to her neck and you held on to her small breast as you bounced up and down on her strap. “Ride that shit.” She whispered, bringing her hand down into the water and gripping your ass hard, bouncing you with one hand as she bit her lip. To say you and Shuri were back was an understatement.

Watching you two together now was sickeningly adorable. That is until it got uncomfortable, and then it was just sickening. But the kingdom was happy to see it. You two were making up for lost times. So in the past weeks everything you both did you did grandiose. The two of you became insatiable when it came to sex. There wasn’t a place in the world off limits and you didn’t care who was watching. And someone was definitely watching. Shuri’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as you continued to pull her orgasam out of her. You rode her with purpose as you felt the band about to snap in your belly. “Bast!” You pressed your body into hers, letting go of her breast and wrapping your arms around her neck. Something about your slippery breast pressed against Shuri’s created waves of euphoric pleasure throughout your body. She rubs your back as you bury your head into her neck.

“I feel you cumming Thandiwe, I’m right behind you” she continued rubbing your back with one hand and guiding your hips with the other. “You’re doing so good for me my pretty. Yes baby you’re squeezing me so nice.”Her kissing your cheek, biting your earlobe and whispering sweet nothings was sending you over the edge. You wanted to stay right here in this moment with her forever. “Oh Bast, you’re so good to my body sthandwa.”

“Mmmhm. You feel so good. You’re my forever, you know that? Who’s better than you umama?” Her breath tickled your ear as she spoke, sending electric waves down your spine. “That’s right. Let it out f-for m-me. Oh shit sithandwa kiss me. I’m cumming for you.” Shuri gently coached you through your orgasam and followed suit. Bringing your mouth to hers you shared a kiss that sent you floating into sub space as she came inside of you. You moaned your pleasures into eachothers mouths as she continued to keep your body pressed close to hers; still slowly thrusting making sure every ounce of her was released into you as you continued the soul stirring kiss.

“Ndiyakuthanda” Finally you break for air, pulling back from Shuri’s sweet kiss. “Nam ndiyakuthanda. ngayo yonke into endinayo (I love you too. With all that I have). Your glassed over eyes met Shuri’s just in time to see a tear fall, causing one to fall from yours as well. Both of you simultaneously brought your wet hands up to cup eachothers face, wiping away the tears and sharing a small laugh at how in sync you were. “It’s going to work this time.” Shuri reassured you as you nod in agreement. “I know it will.”

“And if it doesn’t it’s not the end of the world. There are other options. And no matter what. We have eachother. It’s us against the world My Queen.”

“Us against the world My King.” You giggle as Shuri’s smile spread big across her face. You couldn’t think of anyone that was more powerful, more sovereign, more supreme, or majestic than Shuri. Man or woman. So as ruler of Wakanda, you believed she deserved the title King and you referred to her as such. And every time. She loved it. “You’re trying to go another round huh?” She bit her lip pressing herself deeper into you. Laughing you immediately remove yourself from her strap. Standing to get out of the tub. “Absolutely not! We have so much to do today and I need to prop my legs up before the day begans, so I can start baking this bun!” Tapping your belly you smile down at Shuri. She grabs your thighs right beneath your ample bottom and leans up placing a delicate kiss on your tummy. “You’re so beautiful sthandwa. I’m forever grateful to call you mine. And I can’t wait to start this new chapter with you.” You smile as she stands to her feet and envelopes you in another kiss.

Riri had to admit you two were better than porn. All she had to do was press a button and tune in and all of a sudden she was getting a show. She huffed, as she removed her fingers from her soaking wet cunt. She’d just finished cumming along with the two of you on top of Shuri’s desk. Listening to the two of you had become a guilty pleasure. The affirming words that Shuri would say to you, she would use to coax herself into her own orgasam. Pretending it was her that was drawing the lustful sounds from Shuri’s throat. Imaging that it was her pussy that Shuri’s tongue was caressing into tranquil bliss. Turning off the beads she popped her fingers into her hot mouth removing her juices from her fingers; envisioning tasting herself on Shuri’s fingers as she let out a sultry moan. “Pull yourself together Ri. You’ll have her soon enough.” She got off of the desk, and began fixing her clothes. Today, she wore her single braids in a low bun, and a form fitting black mini dress, she’d even applied a bit of makeup and wore heels. It was a special day and she wanted to look good for Shuri.

Shuri walked into the lab at 7:40 am on the dot, cheerful from the beautiful morning she’d shared with her y/n. Her smile was bright, hair freshly braided and she was dressed in her signature all black attire though she was a bit more casual than usual. Black sweats a black T-shirt and a black Nike tech jacket. Not a piece of lint in sight. Ugh! It didn’t matter how she dressed Shuri could make you quiver with just a glance in your direction, and Riri was no exception. Her powerful stride accompanied her through out the lab as she checked on her staff and their progress. Riri watched from the top of the stairs as her heart began to race with adrenaline. Turning toward the glass she gave herself a once over brushing her hands over her curves. “Let’s go get our woman.”

Riri slowly made her way down the stairs heels clicking against the concrete floors catching the attention of the Queen. Shuri did a double take once Riri entered her line of sight not used to seeing her dressed so… feminine. Assessing Riri’s body, Shuri’s lip upturned in appreciation. The woman was definitely a looker. “Good morning Shuri.” She smiled seductively as she approached her. “Good morning Ms. Williams. A bit out of dress code for the lab aren’t we?” Shuri turned away continuing her examination of the updates to the Dora’s weapons. Riri’s eye narrowed at the side of Shuri’s face. That’s not the reaction she was looking for. “Yea, well today is a special day. And I wanted to look nice.” Shuri nodded not yet acknowledging Riri’s statement. “Great job Amahle. These look amazing.” She spoke to one of the lab techs, causing Riri to fume. ‘I look fucking amazing! And she’s ignoring me!?’ Finally Shuri turns toward Ri motioning for her to follow her as she walked past her towards the stairs.

Shuri’s eyebrow raised at Riri in curiosity as she damn near jogged to catch up with her in her heels. “What’s the occasion?” A malicious grin spread across Riri’s face. Yes! Here we go. “I have a date tonight.” Riri looked at Shuri with intent. Looking for a reaction. Now both of Shuri’s brows where raised, eyes widening as her lips turned up in a genuine smile. Riri’s upper lip began to pull up in disgust. Quickly she recovered her expression, bringing it back to neutral. “Really!?, Well that’s great! I’m glad your getting out and mingling instead of just hanging around the lab.” Now standing in Shuri’s office, she sat on her desk facing the shorter woman who squirmed under her gaze. “I know the first couple of days here were rough when you returned. And I truly feel guilty for leading you on. I’m glad you’re moving forward Riri. And If it’s any consolation, you do look beautiful.” Shuri gave a cute lopsided smile that made Riri’s stomach turn. Shuri really had no feelings for her.

Riri placed the best fake smile she could muster across her face. “Thank you Shuri really! I know I took it hard at first but I figured it was best that I got over it. You and y/n are honestly so perfect for eachother.” Riri turned away, walking over to a covered dish sitting on top of the mini fridge. “I brought a bit of a peace offering. An apology for all the chaos I caused.” Picking up the dish she turned back toward Shuri with it stretched out to her. “I heard that pot bread was your favorite. So I made you some. If you’ll except my effort as an apology?” Riri’s big brown eyes sparkled as she looked up at Shuri with her sad kitten like eyes. Shuri looked down at the dessert as Riri uncovered the dish. The aroma permeated the office and a slow smile spread across her face as she now looked into Riri’s and took the dish into her hands. She extended her arms out welcoming Riri into her warm embrace. Riri closed her eyes as she took in Shuri’s cologne almost moaning at her scent. “Ofcourse I will Ri. If you’ll also except my apology. I didn’t bring anything to give bu-“

“No no no! You’ve done enough allowing me to stay here after everything. I’m sure y/n wanted me gone. So thank you. Just except my peace offering. Go ahead and try a piece! I’m dying to see if you like it.” Riri’s heartbeat drummed in her ears. Her palms were sweaty and she was getting antsy. “You ok?” Shuri pulled back obviously picking up on Riri’s elevation in nerves. “Y-yea! Yes. This conversation was just a bit nerve wracking. I’m glad I finally got it out of the way. And I reeeeally hope you enjoy this bread. It’s my first time.” She let out a nervous chuckle, as Shuri smirked. This was the moment of truth. Everything she’d worked for. She’d created ten very thin magnetic pieces of nanotech vibranium the size of atoms and placed them inside of the corner piece of the bread. Marking exactly wear to cut. Once that piece was ingested the atoms would connect and attach to the wall of her stomach. Once that happened it would send a signal to her beads. From there Riri would be able to send magnetic waves to Shuri’s brain and control her conscience. She could turn it on and off as she pleased. Meaning she could make Shuri do whatever she wanted when it was on and when it was off Shuri would have no idea what had taken place. She’d only have the memories that Riri would allow her to keep. It was brilliant.

“Well, it definitely smells amazing!” Shuri says as Riri takes the dish back from Shuri, placing it on the desk. Using a knife she had ready for use inside of the dish, she gently cut the piece placing it on a paper towel, handing it to the unsuspecting woman. “I hope you like it.” It wasn’t a lie. Even in this twisted situation Riri still wanted Shuri’s approval. She bit at her bottom lip in an effort to quell her anticipation. Without hesitation Shuri brought the dessert up to her mouth. Riri’s eyes sparkled in excitement, watching so closely that Shuri’s movements almost became slow motion. Finally, she bites into the delicacy. Shuri’s eyebrows raised and she began to nod. “Damn Ri. It’s delicious! I love it.” So much joy ran through Riri’s body she almost laughed out loud, as Shuri quickly finished it off. She settled for a goofy smile. Her body shivered. It was only a matter of time now. It shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes for the nanobits to find one another. So now we wait. A sinister smile spread across her face. “I’m so glad you like it.”

2 hrs later

‘Nothing. NOTHINGS FUCKING HAPPENING! I can’t fucking concentrate staring at these goddamned beads all day! Did I not take into account the herb? Is it causing adverse effects?’

Riri looked down at Shuri from upstairs as she spoke with another technician. She looked fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Riri let out a frustrated exhale plopping down in a chair in Shuri’s office and crossing her legs. Her hands cradled her face. ‘Damnit! Was all that work for nothing! This is my only hope she’s so in love with that hoe of a wife she has that she doesn’t see me. I have to think of someth-“

Bzzzz, Bzzzzz. Riri’s heart drops to her stomach. Slowly she pulls her hands from her face, and looks at her left wrist as it buzzed and lit up with blue light. It worked. She’d done it. She really fucking did it. Pressing one of her beads a projection of Tony Stark revealed itself. “Your atoms are in place. Make your request kid.”

“Shuri will fall out of love with y/n when I activate the atoms. She should remember me as her girlfriend. When I deactivate allow memories of us together to remain.”

“Sure thing kid. Transmition sent. Anything else?”

“Yes….Send her to me.” Riri pressed the bead removing the projection as she stood, walking over to Shuri’s desk leaning against it as her palms became sweaty and her heart rate picked up. She heard foot steps coming up the steps and she smoothed her hands over her dress, letting out a long soothing breath to calm herself as she waited. The foot steps got closer and closer and closer, until Shuri appeared in the doorway. She leaned against the frame, her gaze meticulously traveling Riri’s frame as she sized her up. And then her eyes connected with Riri’s. She seductively smiled with only one side of her mouth, before placing her bottom lip inbetween her teeth.

“Hey Ri baby.”

A/n: This next chapter is gonna be a MESS WHEW!! Stay tuned!

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