#so the mcr thing is just a natural continuation

[songsforboys]

my mom just referred to eddie vedder as her boyfriend so maybe this whole thing is genetic.

[caraphernellie]

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM.

bible study, with a twist.

preacher!ellie williams x religious!fem!reader.

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄! Suffocating in a small religious town, drowning in your own misery, your own thoughts in which you were led to believe are dirty, disgraceful, unholy - where else can you turn for support other than the church? Where else would you want to turn to, when Ellie Williams, so knowledgeable of the beliefs and teachings of the church, is there to take care of you?

INCLUDING... preacher!ellie , fem!reader , religious imagery/references , internalised homophobia (both e and r) , christianity/catholicism , she is so blinded by internalised homophobia , dom!ellie , oral(r!receiving) , fingering(r!receiving) , tribbing , virgin!reader but not innocent , ellie’s actually nice and has good intentions she’s just clouded by religious trauma , sinning , definitely ooc but i tried to make it as 'ellie' as possible , use of pet names : sweet girl , sweetheart , angel , good girl , cutie.

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑, oh god please don’t hate on me for this 🙏 here’s preacher!ellie. don’t come at me i have religious trauma and am also a big mcr fan so obviously. i am so nervous to post this. i cannot stress enough if this is not ur thing do not read it lmfao. closing my eyes and posting this i wrote it ages ago i dont even remember what it goes like ive been too shy to post it. UPDATE NINE MONTHS LATER: i hate this fic, i won't lie to you. i would rewrite it, but honestly, nah... it doesn't need a comeback. part two is privates because i hate it even more.

WC: 3.7K | ELLIE'S MASTERLIST | BOYCOTT TLOU

“you are aware of the three hail mary devotion?”

ellie looks down at you, kneeling before her by the altar. there’s something unreadable in her gaze. though she looks utterly sympathetic.

“each day, you can seek guidance from the lord by honouring the blessed virgin mary, and you will say three hail marys. you’ll begin each day with a saying.” ellie clears her throat, her gaze unwavering. not even a blink, eyes green as ivy almost sickening you. “i do this everyday myself. ‘o my mother, preserve me this day from mortal sin.’”

“thank you, ellie.”

“you understand that i can’t speak to the lord on your behalf. i am simply the preacher, i am here to provide you comfort and guidance. and i do promise you, if you continue to repent for your sins, god will always forgive. there will always be a spot for you in heaven should you continue to do the right thing. you can acknowledge that these… thoughts… are unholy.”

perhaps there was a reason, that instead of taking yourself to confession, you sought ellie out to ask for guidance, though leaving out a crucial detail. she is the object of your thoughts.

“if it consoles you,” ellie starts, “i have struggled with thoughts of this nature too.”

and like a record screeching, you pause, looking up at the woman. and what a woman she is – black turtleneck, which doesn’t at all hide toned muscles you wish you could see. black slacks, brown boots. shoulder length, auburn hair, and a freckled complexion. she is so respected amongst the members of the parish, always living her life in the holiest of ways, and never would you have thought someone as perfect as ellie williams could have thoughts of sin.

“what?” your voice shakes, and ellie tenses for a moment. 

perhaps you could have seen this coming, how there’s often tension thick as a brick wall between the two of you. ellie’s mixed signals ever so confusing.

“sometimes these thoughts get the best of us,” ellie murmurs. she approaches you, and as you look up at her through your eyelashes, she furrows her brows, hardens her gaze. “i have asked god to help me overcome these thoughts. i have had these thoughts and feelings for a long time. yet i repent. you may never get to stop repenting for this. but showing remorse and asking the lord to forgive you is all you need to protect yourself from the devil.”

ellie williams, respected preacher. she devoted her life to the church, wanting to live a life of holiness to make up for those thoughts she couldn’t ignore.

your hands clasped together like a silent, continuous prayer to preserve your own self-control, you open your mouth to speak, when ellie cuts you off.

“i’m glad god brought us together, and caused us to cross paths. you’re a special girl.”

there’s a warm rush of blood going straight to your cheeks, a waver in your voice, and a feeling of deep appreciation pooling between your thighs. “i’m glad too. it’s very comforting… to know that i’m not the only one dealing with these kinds of thoughts. thank you for helping me, and for teaching me that i am not damned. i hope we can both find peace.”

ellie nods slowly, her gaze unfaltering as you rise to your feet. for a moment, you feel that you catch a hint of a different expression – a smirk, one that disappears within seconds. as though she puts on a facade. “we are all born into sin. what matters is that we believe, and we follow the word of god. he knows what’s best for us.”

“and he can lead us back on the right path,” you say, smoothing down your dress, a modest piece, knee length and long sleeved.

ellie is deep in thought when she mumbles her next few words. “in the meantime, i can help you with your sexuality.”

once again, a heavy silence falls over you both as the words hang in the air. ellie’s about to backtrack, when you tilt your head, and her cheeks flush red as wine.

“h– how so..?” you ask, eyeing ellie as she rubs the back of her neck. her signals constantly so mixed, you wonder how you’ve gotten this far. too far to turn back now. her sudden nervous demeanour tells you everything. ellie has her issues, and she is nothing like the perfect preacher everyone respects.

“as a preacher,” ellie says, chuckling in an awkward way, “i should be taking care of people in our town, helping them to overcome their struggles and grow their relationship with god stronger. you are part of that as well.”

and so there it is, the strict and god-fearing ellie back again.

“i’d like to invite you over to my home. to pray, and we can study scripture. i can teach you how to overcome this.” her bottom lip drawn between her teeth, there’s that nervousness again. something impure is implied, her eyes burning into your face for any trace of uncertainty, and in the case that she finds it, she’ll backtrack. “if you’re not interested, just say so.”

and at the thought of what the implications are, you find yourself nodding distractedly, gaze falling towards the crucifix hanging on the wall of the church, and you grow warm with shameful excitement. “yes, i- i can do that. is there a time that suits you, ellie?”

ellie smiles firmly, yet it doesn’t meet her eyes. as if she is having the same mental dilemma as you. “i’m glad. how about tomorrow, 7?”

“of course, i,- yes. i’ll be there. you’re just a walk down the street.”

“perfect,” ellie says, and finally that smile reaches her eyes, an almost teasing twinkle in them, a loving look that doesn’t feel the same as the love she shares with others. “wear something appropriate, alright?”

“uh-huh,” you hum, shrinking under ellie’s gaze, knees buckling.

“i’ll see you soon,” ellie murmurs, voice low. and before you turn to leave, her eyes glance over your body once more. and she doesn’t hide her expression this time. she likes what she sees.

you simply nod your goodbye. as you step down from the altar and bow to the tabernacle, you can feel her stare. you feel it as you walk all the way down the aisle of the church, late afternoon sunlight hitting the stained glass windows just right and casting red shadows over you.

✧✧✧

it’s impossible to make it through the next day. that night when you had left the church, you tried taking ellie’s advice. the hail marys, the devotion. but thoughts crept in, ellie consuming your mind in the most beautiful bittersweet memory. you couldn’t help but to picture what she could do to you, how she could worship you. and the guilt of it had you in tears only after you had came.

at 7pm, you walk down the street to ellie’s house. 

and ellie opens the door, not even a greeting slipping past her lips before she speaks. “i like that dress on you.”

and she doesn’t know it, but it eased so much of your nervousness. that you did read the situation correctly. because if you had misread the entire thing, and showed up to ellie’s home in a dress you’ve grown out of, it would have been a certainly difficult situation to navigate. ellie said to dress appropriately. and to you, that meant an older dress that hugs you tightly in the right places, leaving your body looking supple and sweet for her taking.

and should ellie discover what’s underneath the dress, she’ll see just how appropriate you decided to dress for her.

“you look beautiful,” ellie murmurs quieter this time, stepping aside to let you into her home, the brown brick house seeming so inviting at this time of night, warm candlelight lit inside. as you walk in, ellie’s eyes dip down to your exposed thighs, the dress being that short. 

“thank you,” you reply, taking a look around the house. dark wood, vintage furniture, candles, crosses everywhere. as ellie leads you to her living room, there are things you take note of that you hadn’t expected. gaming consoles, a dvd stand full of horror films. she doesn’t comment even when she sees your stare, and instead she sets you down on her couch.

“should we start?” ellie asks, a hint of a smile on her lips. “how about we start with a prayer?”

“alright,” you say with a nod, clasping your clammy hands together. ellie grins a little, and does the same, then begins to lead you both in prayer.

“lord, we know that we are sinners. please forgive us for experiencing unholy thoughts about other women, and please guide us to become more like you. please help us to watch our words and actions, and guard us against future mistakes and errors. thank you for sending your son, jesus, to die for our sins — and thank you for your forgiveness. In the name of your son jesus, we pray, amen.”

it’s like with every reminder of your faith, glancing around the room, looking at the red rosary hanging around ellie’s neck, or the bible laying on the coffee table, an insurmountable guilt builds inside you.

ellie eyes a crucifix hanging on the wall, then averts her gaze from it – she simply can’t keep her eyes from wandering to you.

“shall we study now?” ellie asks, voice husky as she reaches for the bible. “i can t–”

“ellie,” you say, eyes pleading with her. your hand meets hers, and you stop her from picking up her bible. “we both know you didn’t invite me here to study scripture.”

ellie freezes, flitting her gaze between your hands, the bible, and your eyes. she’s been caught out. perhaps nervous to make the first move, ellie had switched up again, afraid to do anything that wasn’t innocent, afraid to corrupt you. but the confirmation that you want what she wants is enough.

“no… no, you’re right. you’re not here to talk about scripture with me,” ellie mumbles, a nod accompanying it. 

“then…” you begin, fidgeting with the hem of your little dress, tilting your head at ellie with a warm face and trembling legs, white knee high stockings clinging to your calves. “we should… then we should do what you invited me here for.”

a beat.

“are you sure?” ellie asks.

“ellie, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this,” you say, “haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. so please.”

ellie takes one look at your pleading eyes and your bottom lip between your teeth, and she knows that she’s done for.

“come,” ellie whispers, standing and taking your hand. there’s a faint look in her eyes, and everything feels light and slow as she walks you upstairs, into the bedroom.

ellie’s bedroom is similar to the rest of her house, vintage furniture and low lighting. her queen sized bed is pushed into the corner of the wall. on the nightstand lays another bible, on the wall a cross and portraits she’s drawn or painted herself. there’s a bookshelf filled with mostly religious literature and scientific books about things like astronomy and space. an acoustic guitar sits by the nightstand.

“well,” ellie murmurs, lighting a candle or two on the nightstand, flicking off the main light in the room. she stands across from you, illuminated in a warm candlelit glow. “let’s not waste any more time.”

before ellie does anything else, her hand finds the rosary around her neck. her fingers find the crucifix and she lifts it to her lips, pressing a kiss against it like a silent prayer, one last apology to the god she’s betraying. your heart skips a beat, and within no time ellie’s got a hand on the back of your head, pulling you in.

teeth clashing, hands roaming your body, ellie kisses you like it was the only thing she was made to do in life. she presses her body close to you as her tongue pushes past your soft lips. you’re not quite sure where to put your hands at first, but they settle, cupping ellie’s cheeks to bring her closer. your soft moan is muffled by ellie’s lips, her tongue invading every corner of your mouth, nothing unexplored.

ellie’s hands slide down your body, one gripping your ass over the dress and the other cupping your boob.

pulling away only to catch her breath, ellie pushes you towards the bed, laying you down on your back and climbing on top to continue kissing. she nips your bottom lip with her teeth, every act so desperate, so full of a yearning finally being fulfilled.

she stops kissing you again, this time with her hands reaching for the zipper at the back of your dress. “let’s take this off, sweet girl.”

ellie’s voice is breathless already, and she pants softly as she struggles with the zipper for a moment, her brain moving faster than her hands. she finally manages it, and lifts the dress off you.

you’re quiet, as is ellie. you had anticipated there’d be a reaction to this, the matching set you chose. white and lacy, a bra and panties that match the stockings ellie admired earlier. but nothing could have truly prepared you for ellie’s reaction.

“you are divine,” ellie murmurs, her hand roaming down to your hips. she licks her lips, unable to keep her eyes off of how the bra accentuates your breasts, or how the panties hug your waist. her body language, all too clear of how she truly feels about you, does nothing but cause you to throb inside your panties. “do you trust me?”

the question throws you off. furrowing your brows, but offering a small smile, you reply. “of course i trust you, ellie.”

the soft tone of your voice entices ellie, especially as you take her hand and guide it to your chest, letting her squeeze you through the cup of your bra.

“what a beautiful sin,” ellie whispers, leaning down and attaching her lips to your neck. she’s careful not to leave marks that would be visible, but she squeezes your breast as she kisses and licks a trail down your neck, all the way to your chest.

ellie revels in your soft mewls, the way your thread your fingers into the hair at the back of her head, and hold her against you. her hand reaches behind you, grabbing at the clasp of your bra. and ellie bites down, sucking a bruise into the soft flesh of your breast, where she knows nobody could see it. you arch your back partly in pleasure, but mostly to provide her access to the back of your bra, and ellie pulls it off in no time. her eyes widen as your tits spill out, and she swallows thickly as she watches your nipples grow firm with arousal and the exposure to the air.

ellie’s hand cups your bare tit and squeezes as she brings her face up towards you once more, needing that touch of her lips on yours. her long fingers tweak your nipple, rolling the bud around as she kisses you with a growing passion, groaning into the kiss just as you whine quietly.

ellie chuckles as your hands press into her back, pulling her closer, hugging her and hiding your face away in shame. she kisses the corner of your lips, pausing to soothe you. “shh, let me take care of you. let me worship you, sweet girl.”

you ease your grip on ellie when she says that, and she smiles at you before leaning down. you shiver, feeling the cold metal crucifix of her rosary resting down against your stomach, earning a chuckle from ellie as she wraps her lips around your nipple. she sucks for a moment, then rolls her tongue over it.

ellie’s hand lays flat over your stomach, pinning you down to stop your restless squirming. she moves her leg between yours, her knee pressing a generous amount of friction against your panties.

“h… ellie,” you whisper, “have you done this before?”

ellie looks up at you, and with a grin, she nods. “i have. a long time ago.”

“oh my goodn–” you cut yourself off with a lengthy whine, ellie beginning to suck hickeys all over your chest, from one breast to the other. she gives your other nipple the same treatment, only this time her teeth graze it lightly, and your hand on the back of her head tightens the grip on her hair. “ellie…”

“shh,” ellie hushes you, beginning to kiss down your stomach. “you’re okay.”

your incessant squirming and writhing turns ellie’s grin wider, when she cups her hand over your panties and feels the soaking mess.

“that’s beautiful,” she whispers, her fingers tugging at the waistband now, “this all f’me?”

you nod eagerly, looking down at ellie from where you lay propped up against the plush pillows. any holy thought has left your mind, and it appears to be the same for ellie, who lays between your legs with a cheshire cat smile, stripping the panties down your legs.

“so pretty,” ellie hums, grasping at your thighs and pulling them apart. “tell me, you want me to touch you here?”

a nod simply won’t be good enough this time, and you know that, clearing your throat to speak up hoarsely. “yes, yes please, el… can y– mmff-”

ellie’s fingers rub over your cunt, two fingers spreading the folds, the touch burning hot and electrifying. ellie laughs, not meanly, but sympathetically. “barely touched you yet, cutie. so wet…”

your lips turn down into a pout that makes ellie smirk, and she leans close, leaving a kiss on your throbbing clit.

“c’mon, don’t pout at me,” she whispers, another kiss following the words. “angel…”

you shudder, and then a loud moan escapes your throat as ellie’s tongue flicks out, beginning to lap at you. your body’s responsiveness leaves ellie with so much confidence. 

“ellie, ellie,” you mewl, reaching a hand towards her. “ellie, it’s so– mmm…”

ellie reaches her free hand towards you, letting you grab it and intertwine your fingers. she gives a gentle squeeze as she licks a stripe down from your clit to your entrance, then back up again.

ellie can’t get enough of you, of your saccharine taste, staring up at you with blown out pupils as she sucks and laps at you. one of her bony fingers dips into your entrance, and ellie herself groans at the feeling of you clenching around it, but the sound you make is so rewarding that she pushes her ring finger in as soon as she knows you can take another finger. her digits stroke in and out of your sopping cunt, leaving you a whimpering and whining mess.

“c’mon angel,” ellie murmurs against your pussy, “i got you, i got you. ‘s this good?”

you nod, squeezing ellie’s hand in a vice grip, hips bucking against her face eagerly. “ellieeeeuuhh, oh, oh my g–”

“don’t,” ellie warns, “don’t take the lord’s name in vain, and don’t bring him into this.”

“i– s-sorry,” you gasp out, tipping your head back, “oh, oh, ellie, i’m gettin’ close.”

“good girl,” ellie murmurs, keeping the fast rhythm of both her fingers and tongue. “gonna be good and cum f’me?”

“yea, yea,” you say in a breathy voice, more moans leaving your lips, “ohhh, mmfuck, f-fuck, ellie.”

ellie’s ruining you, reduced you to nothing but babbles and moans. you buck your hips up more, rutting fast against her face, and that’s when you hit your peak. with a shriek of ellie’s name, you cream on her fingers, covering them with your slick, allowing them to stroke in and out even quicker.

ellie rides out your orgasm, slowly pulling away when you’re finished. she peppers kisses along your shaking thighs, leaning up to catch your lips in a kiss.

“good, sweet girl?” ellie asks, kissing the top of your head. you nod – but ellie isn’t finished with you, apparent as she begins unbuckling her belt.

“mmm,” you hum, “‘s perfect.”

“alright, angel, c’mere,” ellie says, stripping down to nothing. she sits by the headboard, pulling you onto her lap, hooking a leg over you. “you’re doin’ so good, you know? think you were made to please. good at taking what you’re given.”

“only because i want it,” you say in response, which has ellie chuckling. she grips your waist, grunting when her cunt makes contact with yours. 

“good,” ellie says sternly, “because– shit.”

ellie loves how you keel over and press your nose against her neck because of the way your sensitive pussy rubs against her own. she tightens her grip on your waist, fingernails leaving little crescent moon marks in the plush skin as she begins moving you, groaning and moaning at the way your clit bumps against hers. she moves her own hips too, gasping your name.

you breathe soft whines into ellie’s neck, arms wrapped around her, hugging tight. it’s nothing but desperate now, your second orgasm approaching right in time with ellie’s.

“hnng, f-fuck, yeah, you gonna cum again?” ellie asks, squeezing your ass as you move against her. “good girl, cum, c– cum with me, cum with me s– fuck.”

ellie tenses up, hips moving fast to rub your soaking cunts together as you both cum. kissing your temple, ellie gently moves you off of her, running a hand through her damp and sweaty hair. “stay here angel, ‘m gonna clean you up, and we’ll cuddle then, okay?”

you don’t have much of a say in the matter regardless, shaking in the afterglow of ellie’s touch. she comes back moments later, looking a bit cleaner herself, carrying a wet washcloth. she begins to wipe you down, being extra careful around all of your more sensitive areas. she leaves kisses in the wake of her touch.

“you are beautiful,” ellie says in a firm tone. “the most perfect angel i’ve ever seen.”

you can only give ellie a half smile in response, and she drops the washcloth, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. 

“don’t stress, you know why? because god always forgives as long as you’re willing to repent.”

ellie climbs into bed, pulling you close with an arm around your waist. she rests her chin on top of your head, a protective hold on you.

“why don’t we say another prayer before we go to sleep?” the preacher asks, tone almost uncertain. is she convincing you, or herself? “he’ll forgive us.”

credits: middle pic in the banner is @switchbladekillerqueen <33 this pic inspired me to write this fic!!

[mikeywayarchive]

Mikey Way: “I was borderline terrified a lot of the time My Chemical Romance was active. I was learning the bass in front of 20,000 people every night!”

By Gregory Adams ( Bass Player ) published June 9th 2023

The reunited emo kings’ low-end ranger reveals why he swapped out his signature Fender Mustang for a sparkling new signature Jazz Bass, learning bass in arenas, and how he overcame insecurity about his chops

Full interview under cut:

My Chemical Romance’s reunion has seen bassist Mikey Way thrumming through the high pomp punk of The Black Parade and Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge favorites with a familiar rhythmic fortitude, but keen-eyed band obsessives have probably noticed the musician is no longer sporting the snazzy, silver-flake Squier Mustang signature model Fender built for him back in 2012. 

The good news is that’s because, as Fender have just formally announced, Way has a brand-new – but just as glammy – Jazz Bass out now. There’s a good reason why Way’s made the switch: the Jazz Bass is his first love.

Though he started out on guitar, Way got the hang of a four-string in the mid ‘90s while playing a loaned-out Jazz Bass in his pre-My Chemical Romance project, Ray Gun Jones. He upgraded to a silver-finish Jazz of his own by the time MCR started touring in the early ‘00s, but a trailer mishap led to that instrument getting smashed to pieces on a highway.

Way tells Guitar World that he eventually became obsessed with the short-scale sturdiness of a Mustang bass guitar as My Chemical Romance were writing their 2010 full-length, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, after fooling around with a model Duff McKagan had left at North Hollywood’s Mates Rehearsal Studio. By 2012, Way had his Squier model in stores.

It was during the downtime after My Chemical Romance went on hiatus in 2013, though, that the stubbiness of his Mustang became a little hard to handle.

“I stayed away from playing bass for a little while, which is natural – I was just decompressing,” Way explains. “Then, sometime in 2014, I picked up the bass again, to get my chops back, [but] I noticed that the Mustang felt strange to me.” 

After reaching out to the folks at Fender, Way got a grip on his playing by stretching out on the longer-necked Jazzes they sent him. Way’s take on the Jazz Bass is outfitted with ’70s-style single-coil pickups, and a thinline “C”-shaped maple neck the bassist says is super-speedy.

The finish is silver, of course, but Way also wanted an aesthetically inkier black pickguard. The headstock, likewise, pops with its matching gloss-black finish.

Speaking with Guitar World, Way gets into the glam and grunge gods who inspired his love of a good sparkle coat, overcoming performance anxiety, and why a steady attack wins the bass race every time.

What were some of the musts when it came to designing this latest signature?

“I’ve been obsessed with the sparkle finish as far back as I can remember. Growing up in the ‘90s, the silver-flake [finish] was big in alternative music. Chris Cornell had the Gretsch Silver Jet, [Daniel Johns] from Silverchair had one – [with] the imagery the Smashing Pumpkins used, they liked sparkles.

“Ace Frehley, of course, was big into flake finishes, and as a kid, you love the larger-than-life, comic book world of Kiss. [And there’s] David Bowie – the glam rock stuff. That flake finish makes me think of so many different things, but that’s why I love it so much.

“I remember being younger and going into stores and seeing a flake finish and being like, 'Oh my god, that’s an expensive [looking guitar] – I can’t afford that, let alone play it.' It was almost intimidating.”

One aesthetic difference between your Mustang model and this Jazz is that you didn’t throw a racing stripe on this one.

“I thought about bringing it back and keeping the continuity. Maybe somewhere down the line we’ll throw a racing stripe on this. The thing with [seeing a] racing stripe was always like, 'This player is a badass!'”

Is there a psychology behind removing the racing stripe, then?

“The psychology behind it is that I forgot about it. When My Chemical Romance was talking about doing reunion shows [in 2019], I’d contacted Michael Schulz from Fender and was like, 'Is it OK if I make a new bass for this [next] era of My Chemical Romance?' I wanted to take my past and bring it to the future – taking my Mustang and melding it with the Jazz Basses that I loved so much. 

“I tried to have my cake and eat it, too. I wanted the thinner neck, and I wanted the silver-flake, but I wanted it on a Jazz Bass. They knocked it out of the park immediately.”

Getting back to how you used to admire those silver-flake guitars in the shops, you actually started out as a guitarist, right?

“So, the story goes that my brother [My Chemical Romance vocalist Gerard Way] had a Sears acoustic guitar when he was 10 years old. We would take a shoelace and make a strap, and we would stand on the couch pretending we were in Iron Maiden. And then it got real around ’93-’94, which lines up with the rise of alternative music. You started to see people that looked exactly like you, and they were playing guitar. They were playing Fender Strats! 

“My brother got a Mexican Stratocaster, Lake Placid Blue. I found it not too long ago, and Michael from Fender hot-rodded it. That’s how I cut my teeth – that Mexican Stratocaster [was] my first foray into really trying to learn how to play guitar. I would watch bootlegs of concerts, and watch [guitarists’] hands and fingers – Thom Yorke, Billy Corgan, Noel Gallagher, Jonny Greenwood. I would watch what they were doing. It all started from that.

“Bass came out of necessity, twice. Me and my brother had a band called Ray Gun Jones, I guess in ’95-’96. It was kind of Weezer-ish, or us doing a surf-punk thing [with] a little bit of pre-mid-west emo. At the time we were really into Weezer, Jawbreaker, Promise Ring, Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Sunny Day Real Estate. 

“[Ray Gun Jones] needed a bass player, so my brother was like 'Hey, do you want to play bass for my band?' I was already a huge fan – I’d always tag along to practices. The ex-bass player let me borrow their bass. We had 4-5 songs, and I got the rudimentary from that. In that era, everyone was like, 'I want to be a guitar hero,' but I realized I had a natural knack for [bass]. I picked it up right away. 

“Then, with My Chemical Romance, it was the same thing. My brother was like, 'We need a bass player,' and I was like, 'Well, this is familiar' [laughs]. 'Here’s the demo; learn these songs.' They weren’t terribly difficult.”

Was that bass you had borrowed a Fender Jazz?

“Yup, I’ve only ever played Fender. I’ve tried tons of other basses from other companies, but it always feels alien to me.”

You mentioned studying the playing of Thom Yorke or Billy Corgan through those bootleg vids. Were there any bassists that you treated similarly, to understand the mechanics of bass?

“Matt Sharp from Weezer. I tried to ape him in the beginning, but my attack sounds vaguely reminiscent of a Smashing Pumpkins recording. I would learn Siamese Dream and Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and the Blue Album [the band’s 1994 self-titled debut] by Weezer. Those were the three albums that I put the most time into learning. That’s in my DNA.”

How about from a hyper-local perspective. If My Chemical Romance started out playing New Jersey basements and VFW halls, where there any bassists from that scene that inspired you, or that you appreciated?

“Yes! We shared a rehearsal space with this band called Pencey Prep – that was [MCR guitarist] Frank Iero’s original band. John McGuire was their bassist, and he let me borrow his equipment all the time. He taught me fundamentals, and gave me pointers – he taught me a whole heck of a lot. 

“I always respected Tim Payne from Thursday, I loved his attack and stage presence. And when I’d watch Gabe Saporta from Midtown, I thought 'This dude is the coolest guy in the room.' He’s got this calm, cool, and collected [presence] that you can’t fake or learn. And then Eben D’amico from Saves the Day – brilliant! 

“I would try to learn Saves the Day basslines. They were pretty complex [compared to] what most bands were doing in that scene. Most bands in the post-hardcore scene had simplistic basslines, but Saves the Day did not.

“There’s also Ray Toro, the guitar player of My Chemical Romance. Not only is he truly gifted at guitar, but he’s truly gifted at bass and drums – Ray can do everything. He was instrumental, early on, with showing me the ropes. Ray gave me lessons when I was a novice. I can’t thank him enough for that.”

What kind of pointers was he giving you?

“He showed me proper fretting, or [how to maintain] a steady attack. I got a really great compliment from our front-of-house guy, Jay Rigby. He told me that I’m one of the very few bass players that he doesn’t have to go in and tweak the volume [for]. 'You’re steady, throughout.' I think that’s something that Ray Toro instilled in me: the consistency of attack. 

“It’s funny thinking about it, but I was such a novice going into My Chemical Romance that I would bring myself into an anxiety-ridden state of, 'Oh my god, we have a show tonight; I have to start practicing right now.' I would be practicing four to five hours before we played – I’d play the set [in the green room], and then I’d play it again. Other bands would be like, 'What are you doing?' I was so neurotic at that point, because there were so many people around me that were beyond gifted. 

“I got pushed into the deep end; you’ve got no choice but to figure it out. Ray and Frank are so gifted that I had to keep up. I didn’t want to ever do the music a disservice.

“That brings me back to the simplicity of the early My Chem basslines. The first album [2002’s I Brought You Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love] was me learning the bass, and somehow [producer] John Naclerio recorded me and said, 'You did a great job,' which I did not expect. 

“I thought I was going to go in there and they were going to have to do some studio magic, or someone would come in and play [my] part. I thought of the worst-case scenario, but I went in and did it. I played the bass seriously [enough] by that point.”

What are you generally looking for in a My Chemical Romance bassline? 

“What makes it for me is if I do a fill, I’ll only do it once. If you listen to [the band's 2022 comeback single] The Foundations of Decay, any fill on there I only do one time. What’s interesting about The Foundations of Decay is that it’s very loose and run-and-gun. We went in and punched things in for timing, which everyone in the world does, but the meat of that is first-or-second take. Which brings me to someone else who was very instrumental to my bass playing: Doug McKean.

“He’s no longer with us, unfortunately, but he was our engineer from The Black Parade [until his passing in 2022]. He was always a huge cheerleader for me – he instilled confidence in me. He was always good at getting a killer performance out of me.”

What are some of the biggest My Chemical Romance bass moments for you?

“I’ll say that fill in on Foundations. No-one saw that coming.”

There’s a YouTube video out there of someone playing their favorite Mikey Way basslines, some while using your signature Squier Mustang, but one standout in particular is The Black Parade’s The Sharpest Lives.

“What’s funny is Sharpest Lives has a bass solo, and I was terrified of it. I had performance anxiety [through] the 12 years before we broke up – I don’t have it anymore. Somehow when the band got back together, a switch in my brain [got] flipped. [But] while My Chem was active, I was borderline terrified a lot of the time.

“I’m playing with people far above my skill level, I’m playing [on bills] with bands where their bass players are way better than me, [and] our shows were getting massive. We were playing arenas! So not only are you learning the bass, but you’re learning the bass in front of 20,000 people every night. It made me tweak a little, but I think it shaped me into what I became.

“That solo gave me anxiety. It was when we were playing the biggest venues of our career, and it would break for the solo [Way starts singing his ascending bass lick]. I practiced it relentlessly, then it [became] second nature. Later on, it [became my favorite part of the show.”

You’re already playing the Jazz signature in your live show, yeah?

“It’s what I use for the live show. Basically, Fender built [it] for the reunion, and then we made a couple tweaks for when we release it.”

Was there a learning curve at all towards transferring My Chemical Romance songs you’d written on a Mustang onto the Jazz?

“There was Planetary (GO!), a song off Danger Days. I’d guess you’d say the whole thing is a disco beat. It’s dance-y – [Mikey starts singing an octave-popping bassline], I do that for the entirety of the song. I was very happy that I only had to do that on a Mustang, initially [because of the shorter scale]. But going back to what I said, [after] I took a little break, [I] went back to a Jazz Bass. 

“I missed the room, or the way my hand went up and down the neck. I wanted to go back to that, so I jumped back in and felt right at home again.”

How many Jazzes are you bringing on the road?

“I bring two basses out, [but] I stopped even switching [during the set]. This is a testament to Fender craftsmanship – that thing stays in tune. It’s got the four-saddle bridge, and it stays in tune so well. I’m a little neurotic so I’ll tune every few songs, but if I went five to six songs you probably wouldn’t even notice.”

What does it mean to you to now have a fully-formed Fender signature model – as opposed to the Squier – and with the body shape you began your career with?

“It’s really a dream come true. It’s funny, in 2002-3 we started touring across the country. I had a Mexican Jazz Bass, but [the band] were like, 'You have to use something with better electronics; better wood. Step it up!' So, I went into the Guitar Center on Route 46 in New Jersey, and at the time Fender had released a special Guitar Center edition that was silver-flake. 

“It always bugged me that the pickguard was white – it threw me off, aesthetically, and I was like, 'I’m going to change that pickguard one day.' So, I got that, and I was using that for a while. 

“We were out with [Boston emo quartet] Piebald – it was one of our first cross-country tours ever – and one night someone forgot to close the trailer door. We’re driving on the highway, and half the contents spilled out – unfortunately, my bass was a casualty of that.

“But Frank Iero, and his heart of gold, jumped out on the highway in the middle of the night and tried to recover [the bass]. He was like, 'Maybe we can fix it!' I’ll never forget him doing that. He got a chunk of it – it’s in one of our storage units.”

For more information on the Limited Edition Mikey Way Jazz Bass, head to Fender.com.

[yippieitsarvensart]

Tweels hc doodles + notes!

Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)

Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.

on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.

Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.

Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)

Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.

Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)

Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)

Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...

I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL

I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji

I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...

WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE

another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process

Floyd: :3 (aggressive)

Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!

On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!

Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.

Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is

His love language is Physical touch. Yeah

Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.

Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)

Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....

While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.

[danandphilchronology]

Phil's Video Blog - 27th March 2006

Watch with me!

First off, immediately I am amazed by the constant improvement in technology because this noir style video resembles a piece of abstract art. Grainy, a bit blurry, and made up nearly entirely of pixels, I am immediately filled with bittersweet 2000s nostalgia. 

Before I go any farther, here is what I know.

This video was released 27th of March 2006 on amazingphil. In 2006, Phil Lester was 19 years old. I, however, was only 7. (I was a wee babe.) 

Did I know before starting this blog that this video existed? Yes! 

Have I ever watched it before now? No!

What was happening in the world at this time? Good question.

Top Singles in the UK the Week of March 25th

So Sick - Ne-Yo (such a freaking bop)

Nature’s Law - Embrace

No Tomorrow - Orson

Stupid Girls - Pink

Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

Major Events that happened in 2006

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Separate

Italy won the World Cup for the fourth time

John Mark Karr was arrested in Thailand in conncetion with the murder of JonBenet Ramsey

Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray

Using the way back machine, set to the closest date (29 March 2006), the top 3 featured videos were:

Cybersmack by EEntertainmentTV

Re-Enactment: The Princess Bride by ArtieTSMITW

The ORIGINAL Disco Bar by thediscobar

AND (this is crazy to think about) The Black Parade by MCR wouldn't be released for another SEVEN MONTHS. Amongst many other things. But I feel like this gives us a little view into where we needs to be to understand this completely. 

This video is short and sweet and we really see who Phil is in this video. He’s just a sweet lad showing the world what he got his mother for mother’s day and giving us a little insight to what he is working on in University. (We know today that he was working on his degree in Linguistics at University of York followed by a Masters in video production from the same school .) This video really highlights how relatable Phil is (and has continued to be, minus his childhood anecdotes) as he complains about school and daylight savings. 

Something that shook me to my core with the introduction to the lion and pig plushies. Lions and pigs have continued to be related to him even today. Lion references are non-stop, of course, and I could not imagine the current phouse without their golden pig companion! (unrelated stream Golden Pig from danandphilBEATS on spotify!)

It’s so nice to watch this now knowing the amazing (ha!) career and fandom he has built now. 

Current Watch Time: 2m 06s

[thewordworrier]

A Cardboard Box Of Photos Of The Life We Made

Word Count: 6,913  words. (This might’ve gotten away from me a bit.) Notes: ~ Title from “Timeless” by Taylor Swift. ~ I was quite inspired by Timeless [Taylor’s Version, From The Vault] for this one. Clearly. And I already have a piece hidden in my files regarding photographs, Shelly’s grandparents and the video shoot for The Ghost Of You. So that song reminded me of that too. ~ While this is another of my “inspired by Taylor’s new music” pieces, this one isn’t really a continuation of the other two. Sometimes you’re just not inspired that way, and I am pretty mentally invested in Shelly’s MCR-U timeline at the moment. ~ I do have an almost complete list of the contents (it’ll make sense when you read it.) ~ There are parts of this that are actually gross (affectionate) - like, who gave them the right? ~ I am not totally happy with the ending but it works.

~#~ [Setting: During the massive tour for The Black Parade.] It was close to the time of the holidays - Thanksgiving had been a quiet, to themselves at home, kinda affair because they were just so tired and worn out. Especially after all of the dramatics of ProRev. And it looked like the break for Christmas might end up going the same way - they both loved touring; Gerard loved performing for the fans and Shelly loved watching her band come alive on stage while she worked in the background to make sure that everything went as smoothly as possible. She would also fully, readily, happily admit that she had loved watching them perform and having them sort of flirt with her while they were on stage - because they all did it. It didn’t matter if she was down in the ‘press pit’ or if she was watching from the side stage. She’d get winks and blown kisses and all kinds of flirty behaviours from all of them. They had been especially “bad” during the ProRev tour, especially flirty and suggestive. Then again, there had been a reason for that. She had tried to get them to tone it down a little but, when they had been so insistent, how was she supposed to stop them? Plus there was something just so… Extra swoon worthy about the way Gerard looked at her while he was a) on stage - because he wasn’t normally so obvious with his affection in public, and b) dressed up like that - all suited and booted and so damn delicious. He almost looked like he was glowing. Shelly knew that he flourished on stage, but she’d never seen him look like that before. It was insanely attractive though. Naturally, Gerard checked in with Shelly when it came to their plans for Christmas, and he was (maybe not so secretly) relieved when she, albeit shyly, admitted that she was kinda looking forward to some time without other people. “I’m tired Gee,” she said softly, snuggling against him as they cuddled on their couch. “I’m enjoying the tour but there’s so many people, all of the time.” “And so much travelling,” he added with a nod. “Mm, it might be nice to just keep our feet on the ground for a little bit before we have to do it all again later,” Shelly hummed happily as he pressed kisses to the top of her head. “Okay. We’ll stay home if that’s what you want.” Shelly moved away from him so she could look at him properly. “Babe, if you wanna go home and see family for the holidays, or whatever it is you want, you can do that. You don’t have to stay stuck to my side. We can do things apart.” Gerard hooked his fingers under her chin to draw her forward so he could press a kiss to her lips. He felt her smile as he kissed her and that just made him smile. “I know we’re not attached at the hip,” he said quietly, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “I know that. But, I have spent almost every holiday of my life so far with my family. I would very much like to spend this one with you. Especially if it’s a quiet one in this otherwise really loud period of time.” “Are you sure?” Shelly whispered. He nodded. “Very sure, love. Very sure. We don’t even have to have a traditional holiday meal if you don’t want to.” Shelly tilted her head at him. “I mean, I’ll help you cook, obviously, I’m not gonna leave you to do anything alone, that’s not fair.” “Well,” she said with a slight grin. “Maybe you should leave me to do the cooking.” Gerard fake gasped. “Shelly, that’s rude!” She giggled and kissed him gently. “Might still need you to carry things and be all manly and stuff though.” “Hmn. I’m sure I can manage that. I think I can throw in some emotional support and maybe even some jar opening as a bonus.” She laughed, he grinned and they settled down to relax some more. ~#~ Not too long later, still during their ‘winter break,’ obviously, Gerard returned to the bedroom after showering to see Shelly already mostly dressed and ready for the day. “Shell, did you have plans for today?” “I have a few errands that I need to go out for,” Shelly checked her make-up in the mirror. “I did wonder why you were putting on make-up,” Gerard wrapped his arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. “Not that you need it in the slightest.” “You’re so biased though,” she hummed and giggled, making him smile. “Nope. You don’t need it,” he leant his chin on her shoulder. “But I’m never going to stop you wearing it if that’s what you want. I don’t own you or control you, love.” Shelly hummed happily and almost purred at him as she leant back against him. “And I love you for that, really. But, I gotta be presentable in public.” “Do you want me to come with you?” Shelly twisted in his arms, leant hers on his shoulders and raised an eyebrow at him. “And have my tasks take twice as long because you get distracted, or because we get a little bit mobbed?” Gerard grinned guiltily. “Yeah, okay, fair point…” “Besides,” she leant up on her tiptoes to kiss him gently. “How am I supposed to look for your Christmas present when you’re with me?” “Babe,” he kissed her back, holding her tightly. “You don’t have to get me anything, you know that.” “Gerard,” she gave him A Look. “I’m going to buy you a gift. You can’t stop me.” He opened his mouth to try and counter that, only for her to continue. “More to the point, you won’t stop me, because you know that gift giving makes me happy. And you love seeing me happy.” “Hmm,” he nuzzled her and kissed her jaw. “That’s true. Seeing you happy is my favourite thing after all.” “Sap,” she mumbled, unable to keep the smile off of her face. “Did you need me to get anything for you while I’m out?” “Hmmm,” he held her a little tighter. “I don’t think so. I can always go out by myself tomorrow or something. Do you want me to do anything while you’re out?” Shelly thought about it before shaking her head. “I don’t think so.” “Okay. Well, you can text me if you think of something, and I can text you if I do too.” “Sure love,” Shelly unwound herself from him and went to finish getting ready to go out. He was on the couch when she left, not without first kissing him goodbye and whispering ‘I love you’ of course. And, naturally, he said it back. Not just because it was true, but because he knew that she always wanted those to be the last words she said to him, to anyone. If something bad were to happen while she was out. It was why she never went to sleep angry, it was why she never left a building in the middle of an argument. And he got it, really he did. The door shut behind her and he looked around the apartment. It wasn’t bad, it was fairly nice, actually. Just because they weren’t in it much while they were touring, didn’t mean it couldn’t be nice. It was enough for the pair of them, as they were. Obviously, if their relationship continued from strength to strength, and levelled up, he’d buy a house. Something on tv startled him out of his thoughts and he was reminded that yes, it was December. It was nearly Christmas. And the apartment didn’t have any decorations up. He was sure that they had some - not many, but some. He could do that while she was out, then he could maybe see about picking up anything they were missing when he next went out. He still had to find Shelly a Christmas present anyway, so he’d have to go out at some point. Not that he really knew what he wanted to get her, but he believed that he’d know when he saw it. Gerard finished his coffee and started hunting around for the boxes of Christmas decorations he swore they had. He initially thought he’d found them when he found a box of neatly coiled Christmas lights and tinsel - yup, Shelly had definitely put these away. He probably wouldn’t’ve taken the time to wind them that neatly. His moment of victory was brief because the box he pulled out after the tinsel and lights didn’t have decorations in it at all. Despite its size (just a little bit bigger than a shoebox, in fact, it might’ve been a shoebox in a previous life - or one that contained a pair or boots or something), Gerard had still been hopeful that it might’ve contained some smaller tree ornaments or something. Nope, nothing of the sort. It didn’t even have anything holiday related in it at all. Gerard knelt on the floor, carefully going through the box in front of him. The box was full of magazine clippings, newspaper articles, flyers, a copy of the ‘programme’ from the Helena video. Strange things - like a small bag of… Was that confetti? One of his dog collars from when he decided dressing as a priest was a good idea. (And, god, it really was.) Not so strange things, like guitar picks and a Revenge Era knuckleduster bracelet. And photos. So many photos. A couple of semi professional looking ones from performances but the majority of them were candids. Including one of her in the studio with them when they were recording Revenge. She had the softest expression on her face - full of sympathy but she also looked hurt, almost. He remembered that, actually. He hadn’t known that she was there until after he’d finished belting out Desert Song. He left the booth to join the others, to see what they thought and had come face to face with the tiny, cosily dressed blonde. And the others too, of course. She had looked at him like she had wanted to dash over and hug him, but seemed a little shy about it. (She did, later in fact, wrap him up in a tight hug when they found themselves alone and the conversation turned around to the music again. He swore that she had tears in her eyes when they broke apart.) He hadn’t been aware that someone had caught that look on her face on camera. Just like that second photo Frank had taken when they’d been doing the ‘soldier's wallet’ photos during the filming of The Ghost of You. The first photo of him with Shelly was them looking at the camera - he remembered Shelly rolling her eyes slightly before doing it. But the second was of them glancing at each other. God, had they always looked at each other like that? He knew he’d looked at her like that for ages - there was even video proof. From the Helena shoot, specifically; the camera focused on Tracey teaching a suited up (god that had been hot) Shelly a dance move or two, and then it had panned over to where he’d been watching them. Well. He’d been watching Shelly specifically. She’d worn a suit! A well fitted, incredibly hot, suit! How was he supposed to not look? Gerard shook his head and looked through the box a little more. More almost-professional photos, group shots of them from before they headed out to awards shows, because Shelly always liked to get one or two before they left, in the relative privacy of their hotel rooms or whatever. Plus it meant that they could get one or two with her in them as well. More candids of her with them - individually, or in groups. A few of just him, maybe a few of her helping him with his make-up. He still enjoyed that, actually. This box was an inevitable treasure trove of the band’s history, he thought as he looked through it for a little longer. And possibly the history of their relationship. He knew that she was sentimental but… This was special. She’d been collecting this stuff since even before they’d gotten together - this was more for the band, their relationship was just a bonus addition. She really had always been in it for the music, for them. He knelt on the floor, slowly looking through the box for a little bit longer, until his phone chirped in his pocket, startling him. He quickly (but still neatly) put the things back in the box and put it back before getting to his feet and pulling his phone out of his pocket. Apparently it wasn’t an important notification, which annoyed him, but, on the other hand, it meant he could stop looking through this box that he thought was supposed to be hidden, and he could go back to hunting for their decorations. Because he was still certain that they had some. Gerard found the decorations not too long later and felt incredibly pleased that he’d been right. Sure, it was only a small tree, nothing large and grand like he imagined they’d have when they got their house - you had to have a big tree for the kids, you know? Once he’d dug out the smaller tree, he found the rest of their minimal decorations and started putting them up, pausing to make a note in his phone to pick up more Christmas lights, because he knew Shelly liked them. She thought a room looked cosier when those were the only lights on, and having spent a Christmas with her family where this sort of thing happened, he agreed. Maybe he could see if he could get some that had warm, white lights instead of coloured bulbs. She’d look good under that kind of light. He left the box of tree decorations for her to help him with - he knew that was her favourite part. She’d never really told him, but he remembered seeing her help her family with the tree in the second sitting room, that they’d left undecorated just so she could help them when they knew she’d be returning home for Christmas that year. When she realised that they'd left that tree for her, her face had lit up brighter than the Christmas lights he'd helped them untangle. He knew that she’d want to help with these ornaments, even if the tree was their little one. And he definitely wanted her to be the one to put the tree topper on. Maybe one day he’d be lifting their kid up to do it, because she’d totally pass the duty on like that. Gerard hummed a little to himself as he finished up with the decorations before going to make himself a coffee, standing in the doorway with it to inspect his work. He hoped that he’d done a good enough job for her, that she’d approve and not want to move anything. She deserved the best after all, and he just wanted to give that to her. Once he decided that actually, he’d done a pretty decent job, he settled down and started to make a list of what he thought they were missing. He knew for certain that he wanted to get some warm white holiday/fairy lights for the bedroom - they’d be nice around the headboard and they could stay up all year. He had the feeling that she’d like that. He was relaxing when she got home, all stretched out on the couch, completely engrossed in whatever it was he was reading. Shelly stood in the doorway, watching him for a moment, a small smile on her face. She could kinda imagine a small child scampering up to snuggle up with him while he read. Maybe he could read to them like that - she used to love it when her family read to her as a child and it was especially lovely when she was able to curl up on her grandfather’s lap as he read to her. She definitely wanted that for her own kids. She was so distracted by him that it took her a little longer to realise that their Christmas decorations had been pulled out of the cupboard and put up. Everything except the ornaments for their small tree. That went straight to her heart, and she wondered if he remembered. “Hi,” she said softly after a minute. Gerard almost jumped a little, but quickly sat up and put his book aside. “Hey, love. Successful trip?” Shelly hummed and nodded. “I think so, yeah. I managed to get all my errands done at least, but I still haven’t managed to find you a gift yet.” He rolled his eyes and crossed the room to wrap his arms around her. “You still don’t need to get me anything.” “I know more of what I don’t want to get you than what I do,” she smiled as he nuzzled the tip of his nose against hers. “I’m still going to get you something.” “I don’t need anything,” Gerard kissed her forehead. “I have you, we have a home, we have our friends and family. We’re financially stable and I’m very happy. Are you?” “Of course I am,” Shelly replied without hesitation. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to buy you things. You know you’re not gonna win this.” “Hmm,” he squeezed her gently. “Yeah, that’s true. You are very stubborn.” “Hey, it helps me in my job, so it benefits you.” “It benefits all of us. You do such a good job at looking after us.” Shelly hummed again for a moment as she snuggled against his chest. “I see you’ve been busy while I’ve been out.” “Oh! Yes, I figured it might be a nice thing for you to come home to,” he leant his cheek on the top of her head and turned her so she could see the living room again. “I think we’re missing a few things - I either can’t find them or we just don’t have them.” “Probably don’t have them,” Shelly nodded against him. “How do you think I did?” Shelly unwound herself from him and wandered further into the room to have a look. “I figured I could pick up anything we didn’t have when I go out tomorrow,” he continued, watching her. “You did good babe,” Shelly stopped by their little tree. “But… What’s the deal with this?” Gerard hummed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I remember spending Christmas with your family. I remember how much you lit up when they showed you the undecorated tree in the back living room.” Shelly blinked rapidly, just looking at him. He swallowed and continued softly. “I know it’s not the biggest tree, but I know it’s kinda tradition for you and, even though you’re not at home right now, I didn’t want to take that away from you.” “I didn’t… I didn’t realise that you’d noticed that,” she said quietly, smiling at the memory. “How could I not? You shine when you’re with your family anyway, you’re completely in your element, but you were almost fluorescent when you realised what was going on.” She crossed the room very quickly, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. His hands found her waist pretty quickly and he kissed her back just as hard - why wouldn’t he? She was his woman and kissing her was his favourite thing. Okay. One of his favourite things. “Stop it,” she whispered. “Stop what?” He tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Being so… So…” She waved a hand. “So perfect.” “Oh, Shelly, you know I’m not,” he let her go as she took a step back. “I’m nothing of the sort.” She gave him one of her looks and he grinned back at her. “You’re a flawed human being, just like the rest of us,” she said gently. “But that doesn’t stop you from being perfect for me, Gerard Way.” Gerard just stared at her until she kissed his cheek and made her way back into the hallway. “Stay there,” she called over her shoulder. “Don’t follow me.” He did as he was told, even going to sit back on the couch and back to his book for a moment, which meant that he didn’t see Shelly taking bags from the front door to… Wherever she hid things when she had surprises tucked up her sleeve. “Okay,” she said a few minutes later, returning to him. “That’s all sorted and put away.” “Oh!” He put his book down and looked at her. “I wanted to ask you something actually.” Shelly frowned and sat down. “I don’t like the sound of that…” “It’s nothing bad, I promise,” he kissed her cheek and moved to his feet. “I’ll be back in a second. You can stay there.” “I was gonna,” she said with a grin. “My feet hurt a little bit.” Gerard laughed softly, retrieved the box and made his way back to the living room. “Um,” he said quietly as he sat next to her, putting the box on the table. “I was looking for the decorations and I found this…” Shelly looked from the box in his hands to his face as soon as he returned to the room. When it clicked what he was holding, her eyes widened and she looked a little worried. “Um,” she echoed softly. “Did you… Go through it?” “Yeah,” Gerard admitted. “I only opened it because I thought it was Christmas stuff.” “What made you go through it?” Shelly asked, reaching for the box to put it on her knees. “Curiosity,” he said, watching her open the box and start to go through it herself. “Are you mad at me?” “That depends,” she said quietly, looking at some of the photos. “On what?” He shifted his body to face her a bit more. “Whether you think it’s creepy and weird at all.” Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. “Shell…” Gerard gently grabbed her chin to make her look at him. “Why would I think that?” She went a little bit pink. “Because it is kinda weird?” Gerard hummed, leant forward and pressed a kiss to her lips, his hand cupping her cheek and giving it a gentle, affectionate squeeze before he moved it back to his lap. “I don’t think it is. I don’t think any of the stuff you have in that box is weird.” “Y- you don’t?” She blinked rapidly and glanced back down inside the box. “Nope. It’s not like you’re keeping used tissues or old socks or anything.” Shelly pulled a face and he laughed, edging closer to wrap an arm around her waist. “No,” he continued. “All this stuff makes sense to me. And, it helps that I know that you’re a very sentimental little creature.” She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Creature?” “Part lion, part regular cat, part teeny tiny woman,” Gerard grinned down at her. “Frank would say part fox, and I’m inclined to agree.” Shelly went pink but she smiled. “He’s a flirt and I’m surprised Jaima lets him get away with it.” “She only does it because it doesn’t upset you,” he kissed the top of her head and watched her go through the box some more. “She’s a good woman and deserves some kinda award for putting up with Frank.” Gerard laughed and leant his cheek against her hair, before reaching into the box and pulling out the little bag of confetti. “I did wanna ask though, what’s this from?” “The video for Welcome,” Shelly tried not to giggle as he let out a ‘ohhhh!’ before he put it back. “I originally didn’t pick up that much, but I think we were all shedding it for a few hours afterwards, so I gathered that too.” “Why the confetti though?” “Because the video was huge!” She looked at him. “I knew the album was going to be Really Something Else.” “Like you knew that we would be?” Gerard said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She nodded once. “Like I knew you guys would be. And I haven’t been wrong yet, have I?” He smiled. “No ma’am.” Shelly giggled and leant up to kiss him once. “You really don’t think it’s weird?” Gerard shook his head as they went back to looking through the box again. “No. No, I really don’t.” “I’m just so proud,” Shelly whispered as she picked up a photo of the band receiving a ‘Best Album’ award for Three Cheers. “I’m so proud of you guys I could burst. And I wanna remember it all.” “I love that about you,” he picked up a different photo; the one of her watching him sing Desert Song in the studio. “I love that you’ve always cared.” Shelly went pink as she looked at the photo he was holding. “Yeah, well, of course I have. It’s always meant something to me. I mean, look at my tattoo.” Gerard picked up a couple of newspaper clippings - one smaller one from much earlier in their career, and one larger one that was more recent. “The bigger we get, the bigger these clippings get.” “I know,” she beamed. “I love it.” “I love you,” he kissed the tip of her nose, making her giggle softly. “And I’d be just as proud even if we weren’t together,” she said. “Our relationship has nothing to do with any of that.” “I know. You were proud here,” he gestured to any of the photos of them receiving awards for Revenge. “And we weren’t together.” Shelly hummed in acknowledgement and smiled as she picked up one of her and Gerard sat close together at a table with his art stuff spread in front of him. She was clearly listening to him as he showed her something he’s been working on, and she was truly listening because he had her full attention. He had a smile on his face and he was obviously talking with his hands, so they must’ve been sitting there together for some time for him to get to that stage. “I think Mikey got that one,” Gerard said. “You’ve always listened like that.” “Especially to you when you’ve been willing to talk about your art,” Shelly almost snuggled against his side. “It’s a very special thing when a creative type wants to talk about their work with you.” “Now it’s your turn to stop it,” he muttered into her hair as she shuffled the box contents around for a moment. “Nope, shan’t,” she grinned up at him and smiled when he kissed her. “There’s one more thing?” “Mm?” She held up the priest collar, which upon further inspection now she’d turned it over, had a lipstick print on it - right where the white would’ve shown between the the two sides of his shirt collar. “You don’t think me keeping this is weird?” Gerard glanced at the lipstick mark and the memory of how it got there, or rather what happened afterwards, came back to him rather quickly. He must’ve blushed because Shelly giggled. “Absolutely not,” he grinned. “Hmn! I didn’t think so,” she put it back in the box and closed the lid. “Put that back for me? Unless you wanted to ask me about anything else in it?” He shook his head, picked up the box and went to put it away, returning to cuddle with her for a little bit afterwards. Not for long though, as soon Shelly was letting out a soft “oh!” before getting up and darting back into the hallway. Gerard watched the doorway with a raised eyebrow as she reappeared with something behind her back. She rocked on her feet slightly with a bright smile and giggled when she saw the look on his face. “What’ve you got there, sweetheart?” Shelly giggled again. “Well, it’s not exactly a Christmas gift. And it’s not technically just for you, but I bought them while I was thinking of you…” Gerard pushed himself to his feet and took a few steps towards her, stopping when she took a step back. “Oh? And what do you have there, pretty girl?” She smiled and moved the bag in front of her, standing holding onto it with both hands - like when she stood with her hands clasped in front of her. Gerard’s eyes followed her hands, then dropped to the logo on the bag. He recognised that logo - it belonged to one of her favourite lingerie stores. Personally, any lingerie store she chose to shop at was his favourite because she looked incredible in anything, but he recognised the logo from that one as he’d sometimes find her browsing their online store. Sometimes she’d even let him pick. “Well,” she lifted the bag up closer to her face, opening it and looking inside. “There’s a couple of things in here, so…” “Are you suggesting what I hope you’re suggesting?” He tried not to sound too optimistic - normally when she bought multiple pieces it meant that he got a fashion show. “Well that depends,” she closed the bag and looked at him. “On… What?” Shelly couldn’t prevent the grin from spreading across her face. “Did you bring home any of those feather boas?” ~#~ When the band reconverged to continue the tour, it didn’t take Gerard long to get everyone in the same room. Except Shelly - she was off doing whatever it was she did, working her magic powers, but that suited him just fine. “What’s the deal?” Mikey asked, settling in a spot next to Lux. “Yeah dude,” Frank settled in a chair. “Where’s the fire?” Gerard glanced around to make sure everyone was listening and that Shelly hadn’t snuck back. Once he was satisfied that it was safe, he exhaled slowly and started telling them about the box; the photos, the newspaper clippings, (he might’ve left out the fact that she kept one of his priest collars. They didn’t need to know that bit) - the confetti and the comment she’d made to him when she’d been explaining that - about how she knew that the album, the video was going to be Really Something - like she knew that they were going to be that too. The others got a bit choked up at that, actually. “Lux,” he said. “Did you know that she’s kept a pair of your broken drumsticks?” The other woman smiled and nodded. “Yeah, of course. She asked for them, so I gave them to her. She said she was proud that I’d played that hard.” “Did you also know that she kept the friendship bracelet you made her?” Gerard tilted his head. “It’s actually tied neatly around the drumsticks to keep them together.” Lux softened considerably at that. “I… Didn’t know that, no.” “I’m not sure why you’re surprised,” Ray said kindly. “We all know that she’s super sentimental.” “She’s still got the keyring from her first Band Mom day,” Mikey added. “I bet she still has the bear too,” Frank grinned, looking at Gerard - he’d been the one to get the bear after all. Gerard coughed slightly. “Yeah, she does. But, she’s also still got the preserved rose petals from that first Band Mom’s day too. Picks from you guys,” he nodded to the three guys. “From every time you changed the designs. She had a knuckle duster bracelet in there too.” “Is it the same one she wore to death?” Frank asked, his eyebrows raising as Gerard shook his head. “A new one? She could sell that for a fortune.” “She won’t,” Gerard continued. “She said she keeps gathering all this stuff because she wants to remember all of it, the band’s entire journey. She’s so fuckin’ proud of us.” “Yeah,” Frank swallowed the little lump in his throat. “Yeah, you can tell when she talks about us to others - you can even tell if you’re reading something she’s written about us.” “You can feel the pride coming off of her in waves,” Ray added with a nod. “She cares, she’s always cared.” Gerard nodded at his brother’s statement before continuing. “At the bottom of that box were a flyer and magazine clipping regarding the gig we first met her at. And her ticket.” “Her tattoo not enough?” Frank said with a grin. “Apparently not, but I don’t even have it in me to mind,” Gerard shook his head. “Where are you going with this?” Lux asked gently. Gerard hesitated for a moment, chewing his bottom lip. “I… I guess I never really realised just how much… How much she is, you know?” They looked at him, slightly confused. “How much she values the memories, how much she cares and has always cared, how much she truly believes in us. Even before we got together - she’s always felt like that.” “She fights for us,” Ray said. “She fights for what you believe in, even when you forget and need a reminder,” Lux grinned, gesturing to herself as she remembered what she’d been told about the conversation around the table when they’d been looking to hire a drummer. “How it’s never been for the paycheque,” Gerard continued, nodding to Lux. “Like, I knew, but it’s never really sunk in like this before.” The others nodded at that. “About the money thing…” Frank said slowly. “She told me once that she doesn’t really need it. She never has. It’s nice, but she doesn’t need it. She’s never shown me proof or anything but I’ve never asked her for it. I just believe her.” “She’s just so genuine, she’s so honest.” Gerard listened to the hums of approval before he cleared his throat softly. “Guys, I almost asked her to marry me over Christmas.” There was a few seconds of silence while that sentence sunk in for everyone, but as soon as it did he was hit with a wall of noise. “Dude!” “What?!” “What do you mean ‘almost'?!” “Seriously?” The vocalist chuckled nervously and took a step back from the onslaught. “Um! Well, let me explain!” Lux folded her arms and stared at the older man. “This better be good Gerard!” Gerard felt incredibly nervous under the drummer’s stare - she was incredibly protective of Shelly and he was pretty certain that she wouldn’t be afraid of punching him if his answer wasn’t adequate. It was a fair feeling on the drummer’s part - everyone was pretty protective of Shelly, just like she was protective of them too. But he was way more scared of the girl from Arizona than he was of any of the other guys. “Okay,” he started, addressing Lux more than the others, even though he knew the others were listening and judging him just as much as she was. “This whole situation with this… Memory box? Just really dug in how much I love her, how much I love every single part of her.” Lux raised an eyebrow at him and he swallowed. This was worse than being introduced to Shelly’s family as her boyfriend for the first time. “I mean! Obviously, she’s gorgeous! Look at her!” “I do, quite frequently,” Frank said with a grin, quickly shrinking back and almost ducking behind Ray as Lux glared at him. “But it’s more than that; I love every part of her personality,” Gerard glanced at Lux. “C’mon Lux, you know that I do. Don’t look at me like that.” She nodded. “Continue.” He sighed and shook his head slightly. “Going through that box just reminded me of a lot of things that I’d temporarily forgotten about, and it just… Cemented exactly how much I love her and…” The others looked at each other before looking back at him. “And how much she’s it for me now,” he continued softly. “I don’t want anything else with anyone else. It’s all with her or nothing. I wanna help her continue filling that box with all of those memories.” Mikey smiled a little to himself at his brother, but his smile turned into a grin when he saw Lux almost melting out of the corner of his eye. She was trying not to squeal, he could tell. “That doesn’t explain how you almost asked her to marry you though,” Frank pointed out. Lux blinked rapidly, almost having forgotten about that. “Oh! Yeah!” Gerard cleared his throat. “So, it was after this memory box thing, maybe about a week? I don’t know. But we were sitting on the couch in the evening, music playin’, the Christmas lights on, I think she was reading? I don’t really know, but she just looked so peaceful and so beautiful, and I kept thinking about that box and everything she’s done for us, all the things she’s handled -” Frank was about to make some kind of dirty comment, but a glare from Lux made him close his mouth again. “And I nearly just blurted it out!” Gerard continued, covering his face and huffing for a moment. “Just, sat in our apartment on a random evening in December, while she was wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt! She never would’ve forgiven me!” There was a collective snort. “Yeah, she would’ve,” Ray spoke first. “Because she’s so in love with you it’s disgusting,” Mikey continued. The others nodded in agreement. “That’s not the -” Gerard shook his head. “I only wanna do this once, you know? And, more to the point, Shelly deserves better than that. She deserves the best proposal I can manage - she deserves the whole show, you know? More than letting the question slip out with little preparation or thought. She deserves the world, and I wanna give it to her.” He huffed again softly as he looked around his band, looking over at Lux last. “Is that a good enough reason, Miss Lux?” “You’re damn right she deserves the world,” she rubbed the corner of her eye a little, brushing away a sneaky tear. “And yeah, she deserves a better proposal than that!” “Even though she wouldn’t mind, as long as it was heartfelt,” Frank added. “But still!” Lux continued. “Now you gotta do it properly!” “I know,” Gerard nodded. “Don’t screw it up!” “Believe me, I’m going to be doing everything in my power to get it right, but I -” A knock on the door cut him off and Frank gave permission for the person to enter. The door opened and Shelly returned to the room. “Shell, you don’t need to knock, let alone wait for permission,” Frank said with a frown. “You know that.” “I always knock and wait for permission,” she shrugged, crossing the room to be closer to them, to Gerard specifically. The singer automatically wrapped an arm around her waist, gently pulling her closer to him before he replied; “but it’s just us.” She snorted. “Even more reason to knock and wait. You could be up to mischief.” “I’m hurt and insulted,” Frank grinned at her. “Everything okay? All your spells cast and traps set?” “Traps?” Shelly looked at him innocently. “I don’t know what you mean.” “I think he’s referring to the fact that you always seem to get your way for us,” Mikey added. Shelly hummed. “Mm, no traps. I’m just very good at what I do.” Gerard tried not to blush too much, because his mind definitely didn’t keep that clean. Unfortunately, Frank noticed and grinned. “Gerard seems to agree with that statement.” Ray rolled his eyes, Mikey groaned and Lux threw a tied up Oreo wrapper at him. “Stop it,” she said. “Don’t be rude.” While this was happening, Shelly glanced up at Gerard who just smiled at her. She giggled, leant up a tiny bit and kissed his cheek before turning her attention back to the others. “Kittens,” Shelly said gently and affectionately, a mild warning tone creeping into her voice. Gerard glanced at Shelly when he heard the start of that ‘mom tone’ - it didn’t get used on him, oh no. She had a completely different tone of voice for him if or when he misbehaved… But hearing the ‘mom tone’ didn’t help him with trying to forget that he’d been thinking about them having kids a lot as of late. Lux stuck her tongue out at Frank, who did exactly the same back. “Children,” the tone in her voice was a bit more obvious now. “Behave yourselves.” “Frank started it, Shell,” Mikey said. Shelly hummed. “Don’t care, finish it yourselves or I’ll finish it for you.” “Yes mom,” Frank pouted, getting an eye roll (but also a smile) from Shelly. “Sorry Shell,” Lux said genuinely. “‘S alright,” she said, handing out some paperwork. “Just behave for a little bit, so I can get these details, then I can run off and you can go back to teasing each other. Or whatever mischief you were up to before I walked in.” “Why do you always assume that we’re up to something?” Frank asked, taking the sheets. “Because you normally are and I feel like this time is no different.” Gerard shuffled in his spot, still next to her while trying not to look at anything other than the papers in his hand. The others, meanwhile, shared looks. “Oh Shelly,” Frank said with a grin. “You have no idea.”

[chemnections]

Why the fuck would Gerard reference Frank’s accident in UA? Sure there might be some tension behind the scene but doing that would be unnecessarily cruel. The idea Gerard has chosen to spend the rest of his life playing mind games with people in his life like Frank is absurd.

i'm trying to hold back my judgment until its confirmed and i see it in context - but my own trauma from a vehicular accident is really jumping out of me so i'm incredibly spiky on the topic.

because i already thought the bus in the stage set, not enough acknowledgment of it in my opinion at the sydney shows, five carrying that rucksack in season 1 like frank did was the trauma was still fresh was pushing it (including the removal of five's hand).

i think it would be included because unfortunately it has become part of their lore as the turning point that eventually led them to reuniting the band again. probably made them rethink and attempt to repair their relationship and attitudes, etc. and a point of contention - thinking of lindsey's meme of 'lets eat trash and get hit by a car'. and the umbrella academy is ultimately about mcr, and a huge chunk being gerard and frank's conflict.

but even more unfortunately, i think gerard is just continuing to show us who he is.

i think he greatly enjoys being cruel to frank. i think he likes that frank almost always comes back and when he doesn't gerard lets himself fall apart to a life threatening state to reel him back in.

i think a part of why gerard and lindsey work is that they have a built in common enemy (but probably many to be honest) to bond over. i've observed relationships that work like that before, and how they tend to fall apart when the 'enemy' - usually a friend or family member - has been removed. and i think that's also part of the pattern of gerard falling apart when frank puts distance between them.

but another key part of gerard reeling frank back in is the band. i believe if it wasn't for the band frank would have found it within himself to complete remove himself from gerard. mcr is the greatest hostage gerard can hold - and he has pulled the trigger on that hostage before and milked it to cause to most pain he could, lets be honest.

and we can't say anyone is making him do this. even with mental illness - with access to all the care in the world it can only make you better if you want to be better. i don't think he does. again, i think he likes being cruel and likes the reactions he can get out of frank by pissing him off. and getting truly better involves too much work and facing reality and feeling remorse for said cruelty.

so he has chosen to continue the head games. and at this point, i guess it is for life. and it's so fucking hard to watch.

because for most people would be the assumption that naturally they are working towards resolution. but gerard is not.

why? who knows, could potentially be a number of things. power, entertainment, sadism, trauma and the list just goes on and on.

my other thought with the ua is that this makes the five and frank connection even more visible. . . it's a little reckless on that side of things

[cru5h-cascades]

Presenting: Tenta Rot! The idol group I was hinting at making a few days ago! Flower (she/her) (17 y/o) (left) and Lauv (he/they) (18 y/o) (right) are a brother-sister duo (Flower was adopted into Lauv's family) who make pop rock and occasionally synth pop music. Flower is in charge of synths and drums while Lauv plays the guitar.

I decided to base these two off of Brandon Flowers from the Killers (and the aesthetic of the Killers in general) (really present in Flower's design) and Gerald Way from MCR (not sure if it's that present in Lauv's design but I tried) (also I kinda used aspects of beta Pearl's design for Lauv's design).

Flower is a cuttling (specifically a reaper cuttlefish-type cuttling) & Lauv is an octoling (specifically a gloomy octopus-type octoling) (I headcanon gloomy octopus-type octolings' limbs fade into a dark version of their ink color from the forearm/leg down, so that's why Lauv's arms are like that) (fun fact: the swirls where Lauv's skin color changes move around and their speed changes depending on how he feels)

Background info:

Lauv and his fam moved to Inkopolis when he was around 8 years old and one day while their family was having a picnic at a local park, he found Flower, homeless and without parents. Lauv tried talking to Flower, and eventually the two became friends after several visits to the park (where Flower would typically stay). And finally one day, Lauv asked Flower if she wanted to stay with his family, to which Flower agreed to and then Lauv tried to convince his parents to let Flower stay. Soon enough, Flower got adopted and continued to live with Lauv, happy to finally have a home.

One day, while practicing his guitar for class, Lauv found out about Deep Cut and thought "geez these guys are annoying...". After that, the idea of starting a band hit him and asked Flower if she wanted to be in a band with them, to which Flower naturally agreed to. After learning how to use a music making program on her own, Flower and Lauv then started Tenta Rot and gained some popularity over time, eventually starting a web series and becoming idols in their own right, doing preformances in the same park they met at every splatfest.

Personalities:

Flower - she's a bit of a pushover, kinda shy, and is overly nice, which leads to people not really taking her seriously. however, that doesn't mean she isn't capable of being mean or annoying. if someone pushes her buttons enough she will come at them with a brutal insult out of nowhere and leave them stunned. also she's super playful and likes to mess around with Lauv, even when they're live on their web show.

Lauv - he's moody and likes to act all pretentious and stuff, but deep down they're just a real softie. Lauv tries to keep this facade of the edgy teen, but sometimes it slips, especially when Flower tries to provoke them, but he doesn't get mad about it, at least that much. Lauv knows that Flower is trying to mess with him and that she doesn't take things too far.

[laceymorganwrites]

The light behind your eyes

Word count: 2,665

Pairing: Nacht x reader

Warnings: MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS; READ AT UR OWN RISK, swearing, mentioned violence and death, this is sad, man....

A/N: I swear I wanted this to be fluffy....and yes, title´s a MCR song

Taglist (friendly reminder to send me an ask or dm if you want to be added, that goes for any of my fandoms^^): @nintendousimp @adrasteiaxandromedaa @serowotonin

Nacht never thought he´d envy his brother. Not in the least. They were both so irritatingly different and he thought he hated him for that.

But there was so much more to hate than just that.

Morgen got along with everyone, he was the perfect son, the perfect knight, the perfect husband.

All Nacht could ever do was watch.

Watch him make you laugh, watch him take your hand, watch him take you away.

He wasn´t jealous, he didn´t have time for a relationship anyway.

Still, he couldn´t help himself.

Falling in love with you was the easiest and most dangerous thing he ever did, it hit him like the biggest amount of mana he ever felt and there was nothing he could do to make it stop.

No matter how hard he tried.

And he did.

He couldn´t love you, it wasn´t right… it wasn´t fair.

So he tried to distract himself, to think of anything else but you, his delinquent nature only helped a little bit with that.

He loved you from afar since that was all he could do. Nacht never made any moves on you, why would he?

You were with his brother and he made you happier than he ever could. It was good this way, it was supposed to be like this.

After all Morgen was the shining star of the family, of the capital. He was the pride of the gray deer.

He was strong, always had a smile on his face, he helped people and enchanted them with his warmth and kindness.

Nacht wasn´t anything like that.

No, he was the complete opposite, he was a disaster. Like a storm that wrecked chaos all throughout the capital, leaving people whispering about him.

Him and Yami were the two people the townsfolk feared the most, they always were up to something and it never was good.

They were good friends and Yami did well in distracting Nacht from his heartbreak he never was ready to admit.

Nacht first met you when him and Yami were thinking about more fun ways to use their magic. This time they were quite interested in stealing and running away from the magic knights.

Your food stand was just another one of their victims, but instead of scolding them like everyone else you just laughed with them.

You weren´t mad at him for sneaking past you like that, for using his magic to steal some items, no, instead you complimented him for it, saying how clever it was.

Nacht didn´t know what to say, for the first time in his life he was speechless.

Even Yami teased him about it, but he didn´t care. There were no witty remarks or lame attacks from him. He was so lost in your presence, he just wanted to consume all of it. You made him feel things that were so new and exciting to him, he never wanted to leave you.

“Oh, (Y/N), Morgen wants to talk to you. He´s waiting at your usual spot” Yami informed you and you nodded.

With those words everything came crashing down for him.

So that was why.

It made sense that if you knew his brother you´d also recognize him. That was why you weren´t mad.

And your name sounded so familiar, Morgen talked a lot about you, someone from his squad he admired.

It seemed like he got everything he wanted then.

It left Nacht feeling utterly dumb and empty.

Your usual spot… so it was true.

Nacht had only speculated that you two were together but now he knew it was true.

And what a dashing couple you were, perfect really. He had no right to interfere or even think about you that way. He never had and yet he did.

Morgen was everything he wasn´t. He was the one everyone loved, the one who got everything Nacht ever wanted.

Of course you wouldn´t care about him, especially not in that way. You just were nice to him because you knew his brother.

If you didn´t you´d just pretend as if he wasn´t there and then talk behind his back about what an abomination he was.

Like everyone else did.

Little did he know that you weren´t anything like that.

You knew Morgen from the magic knight exam and immediately made friends.

Morgen was a nice guy but he had his own issues as well. He never got along with his family, which is why he took the exam: to make them proud.

To show them that he could be someone like that. Someone to admire.

He just wanted to be like Nacht.

You were the one he confined in when it came to those things, he told you how he envied the nobles in your ranks who complained about getting married. He´d give anything for something like that to be considered a problem.

He talked a lot about his brother, making you incredibly curious. You wanted to meet him some day.

And so he invited you over for dinner with his family.

Though that wasn´t the first time you saw him.

No, in fact you saw Nacht every day. He was always on the market where you had your stand, with his friend causing all sorts of chaos.

He was quite something and you couldn´t help but smile every time you saw him.

He never really noticed you until that day though, or so you thought.

You were excited to be able to talk to him and sad that it only lasted a little while.

Because of your meeting with Nacht you were in high spirits when you talked to Morgen that day.

You two always trained together and would walk to the headquarters together.

It was nice having a friend like this, it seemed like it would last forever.

You told him that you met his brother and he was happy about that. Tonight would be the dinner as well so you would properly get to know each other.

When you arrived you could already tell that his parents didn´t like Morgen very much. Sure, they tried, but it was all pretend.

They were nice to you.

And you were so happy to be able to talk to Nacht, though he seemed distant.

Therefore you decided to start the conversation with him, asking him about his magic, that seemed to be the perfect topic.

His eyes glistened in excitement as he talked about his training, of course he left out any details but just being able to talk about this to someone who cared that wasn´t his parents, it was amazing.

You understood him, told him he was strong and admired him.

It was everything he ever wanted and so he asked about your magic, about your family and life.

The whole night went by so quickly, you felt like you talked about everything but at the same time you just wanted to talk so much more.

You noticed the way his eyes sparked with excitement and how gentle he would look at you at times, though maybe that was just your imagination.

You really hoped that wasn´t the case though, you wanted him to look at you that way all the time.

The same way you looked at him, full of adoration.

Morgen felt conflicted, of course he was happy that you got along with his brother but at the same time he hated how jealousy clouded his mind.

He was scared that Nacht would take you away from him, scared of all those things his parents were hiding from him.

It hurt him so much, he told you, about the secrets everyone was keeping from him, making him feel so frail, small and weak.

Sometimes his mind wandered too much, as it did now.

All he ever did was bother you with his problems and concerns, you were kind enough to show him everything when he was recruited to the squad and yet he used you like that.

He felt awful.

You deserved better, the best actually. And that was his brother.

Morgen never had any romantic feelings towards you, he just felt so guilty for stealing your time and wanting you all to himself, he didn´t want anyone else confining in you, he wanted it to be your secret, something only you two shared.

He just wanted to feel special and wanted even if it was only for a moment.

If only he had never invited you for dinner…

No, that wasn´t fair and he knew it. Of course he wanted to invite you, he knew that Nacht loved you even if he wasn´t ready to admit that for some reason he didn´t know.

All he wanted was you and his brother to be happy, and yes, be happy himself.

He wanted a happy family, to be accepted the way he was, he didn´t want to cause any more trouble than he already had.

His relationship to his brother wasn´t how it used to be and he hated how he seemed to be the cause for it.

Couldn´t he ever do something right?

The training and the missions without you were the only times he was able to have a clear mind, without any worries.

That´s why he engaged in them so much, to distract himself from his thoughts. Why did he even have them? He loved both of you and didn´t want to come in between your romantic love.

Maybe he just wanted you two to be together so that you finally gained the happiness you both denied each other.

He always found that stupid, why would one deny happiness to oneself? But then again, he did the very same thing.

But for him it was because he was raised that way, he wasn´t anything special, at least not to his family. So he tried to make up for being a failure for his family with being useful to the kingdom.

And it worked, so long as he had something to distract himself from.

Everyone needed a distraction.

Nacht needed a distraction from his feelings, not only for you but also for his brother. He couldn´t bear even thinking about hating him. Hatred was also what he felt for his parents, though that realization came too late for him.

At first he felt so loved when they showed him the chamber, told him he was the pride of the family. Finally he felt accepted, something he had longed for all his life.

However they weren´t accepting him, they were praising his magic and wanted him to continue the cursed family legacy, something so dark and forbidden it made even the trees shudder.

Knowing that both of their sons didn´t matter to them made Nacht angry, what did they ever do to be unloved? What else were they supposed to do to get the attention they never got as children?

Maybe they were more similar than Nacht had thought in the beginning.

It brought a sad smile to his face, however he was determined.

Determined to fix things, he knew what he wanted: you by his side and his brother not to hate him.

However his plan backfired and he let himself be taken over by his emotions, by his rage and frustration.

When he went to the secret chamber with his parents like every day, he lost control, the forbidden magic was too much for him and he really thought that this would be his end.

“Nacht! Take my hand, we need to get out of here!” Morgen called out for him, he just got back from a mission when he heard the explosion.

“No...it´s too late for me, just let me die” Nacht replied, desperation in his eyes.

“Are you crazy? You´re coming with us” you appeared behind his brother, out of breath from running with him. Yami was there too.

What was everyone doing here? Everyone he cared about. His dear brother, friend and… love.

Nacht had given up, on everything, but you three reaching your hands out for him, to save him? The mere thought that there was still salvation for him made him cry.

He took his brother´s hand and let himself be pulled from the rubble.

You three let the house burn and sat down on your usual spot, the hill where you had a good view of the capital.

The sun was already setting, it looked beautiful and more peaceful than it actually was.

Nacht still had the blood of his parents in his face, after noticing you took a piece of cloth and quietly wiped it off.

“Why did you save me? I´m a murderer… and a psychopath” he quietly said, chuckling darkly at the realization.

“You´re pretty weird but I wouldn´t go as far as calling you a psychopath” Yami thought out loud.

“What you did wasn´t wrong, Nacht” Morgen placed his hand on his brother´s shoulder.

“Not wrong? I murdered our parents in cold blood!” he exclaimed, staring at them in disbelief.

How could you all forgive him just like that?

“I didn´t even felt anything during it! Not a single thing, not regret, not sadness or anger. And I still don´t. I don´t regret it, I don´t feel anything. That´s not normal!” he cried out.

“I guess that makes us all psychopaths then” you stated, no judgment in your voice.

Nacht turned his head to face you, a puzzled look on his face.

“Your parents were shitty people, nobody is going to miss them. And we´re not going to judge you for something that was out of your control. We´re just glad that you´re still here with us, you suffered so much… and we didn´t realize it sooner” you said, your tone so warm… so familiar. He couldn´t help but feel calm whenever you spoke.

“To be fair I also just realized… I used to love them, I thought they loved me too. But that wasn´t true. They only used me” he said sadly, letting his head hang low, his hair falling in his face.

You exchanged some looks with the others and they stood up.

“Nacht, you´re going to join us in the gray deer, you´re too talented to just waste away. We won´t let that happen. We´ll keep looking out for each other. Always” Morgen announced and Yami also patted Nacht´s shoulder before they both left for the headquarters.

“Who´d even want a guy like me? You make it sound so easy… as if I can just join…” he shook his head, sighing.

“You still have a place in this world. The world needs you. You´ll fit in perfectly, we´re going to work as a team, we´re going to be unstoppable. Trust me, you´re going to like it there. And you´ll also see that we´re not as perfect as you think we are and that it´s okay that way, more than okay” you told him to which he finally looked up again.

You looked so beautiful, the sunlight only highlighted your magnificence, he couldn´t believe he was alone with you in such a setting, if only the circumstances were different.

He sighed, if he didn´t do it now, he´d never… he didn´t have much else to lose anyway.

“Can I do something stupid?” he quietly asked, averting his eyes yet again, his hands fiddling.

“Not if I do it first” you grinned and hugged him tightly.

“I´m not going to let you die or get hurt. I´ll always protect you. Because… I… want a guy like you, not anyone else, just you. I´m in love with you” you said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear.

You felt his body tremble against you as he started laughing, hugging you back even more.

“I… I think I´m dreaming!” he laughed and pulled away, smiling at you widely, his eyes full of adoration. Just like yours.

You took his hand into yours and he rested his head on your shoulder as you both watched the last rays of sunshine disappear.

[awsugar]

mcr 2022 predictions (joking...probably): ray (innocently) accidentally engages w/ furries on social media but discovers that he actually enjoys the idea of people having fursonas, becoming a new hero for the emo-to-furry pipeline crowd. mikey is somewhere drinking shitty coffee in a church basement (if you know, you know). gerard announces that he's writing a new comic series based off of his perceived encounters with the third kind; the series is adapted for television before he even releases the books. frank continues to be humorously rude to people on twitter after dropping a merch line of jackets for small dogs.

i would honestly take ray toro furry over ray crypto bro. which is saying a lot. somehow thats the better timeline. i do not know why mikey is in a church basement. i hate not getting references this isnt fair. the gerard one would not surprise me at all. FRANK MERCH LINE OF JACKETS FOR SMALL DOGS. i neeeeeed this. i need frank to just extend his range of products. start selling any old thing. if it has his logo i will buy it. does he know how many of us would buy a frnkiero grinder. come thru king. i do hope he keeps being mean to fans on twitter though. like thsts just a normal day thats what he uses twitter for. nature is healing. id rather have him tearing us new ones than have him leave twitter for so long again bc people are freaks to him.

send me your 2022 mcr predictions

[staggeringsmite]

open invitation to share anything you want to about vera!

aslkjglkfjl okay SO i left this in here so i could yell about her once the one shot was over bc i didn't really have a lot of personality until i got into it. this is a long rehash of everything i can remember about the game because truly what a wild ride it was!! tw: unreality, brief mentions of kidnapping

the context we were given to build from was that our characters were a part of a traveling circus/carnival in a modern setting with high fantasy stuff built in. naturally, we riffed with each other for a while until we wound up in officially set in 2019 Arizona. things you should know: this circus is highly illegal and morally questionable, and we very quickly decided that our trio mostly did not care (CN but friendship is cool). we were travelling to a pretty small town out in the desert with our parade of vans carrying equipment. there's sort of a mad dash after every location to not get the shitty van with bad AC, and after some truly terrible rolls (aided by two of us giving ourselves disadvantage because we felt like our characters thought they were "too cool to run") guess where we wound up as the only three in the van?

now this trio consists of: hyacinth, a half-orc divination wizard who reads people's fortunes, rhen, a half-orc barbarian who is here for friendship and is a resident strongwoman, and vera a goth purple tiefling gloomstalker who runs and watches over the ranged games and shady not well made agility courses (and is also gearing up to have her own trick shot act but hasn't made it to the main tent yet). ted the driver of this van is also here, and he's truly just some (extremely mildly homophobic) guy. there also MIGHT be a goat? rhen is trying to make friends with the MAYBE goat that's possibly here. we aren't sure. nicole won't give us an answer. rhen is the only one who sees it. vera is thaumaturgy'ing goat noises around the van to make this even more confusing.

the small town we're headed to has had a series of children go missing recently. will we really get into that? no, actually. vera spends the trip playing MCR from her phone (first character decision i made was to blatantly refuse the aux and instead hold it the whole time - it was also confirmed in here somewhere that vera runs an MCR fan page with some 400 followers in the year 2019). hyacinth spends the trip researching the string of disppearances, and rhen spends the trip making everyone friendship bracelets (including ted and the possible goat that might be somewhere in here) which she presents to us immediately upon arriving.

as we're approaching the site we're setting up at, vera hits a nat 20 perception to notice that the sand is? sticky?? i hate this actually? it's really that it looks like the town is sort of, very slowly, ominously, and perpetually sinking, and at some point nicole called it sticky and we were upset by that <3

instead of do anything about that immediately or tell the other two who do not see it vera goes to look for a phone charger. she finds one with one of the other van driver's and also tries to tell them about the sinking, but they think she is pranking them and she begins to question what she saw. (she does btw, tie rhen's friendship bracelet underneath her belt chains so it peaks through a bit) as vera rejoins she then tells the other two about the sinking and i believe also notice a point from which it might be coming from. the trio continues to set up, and vera collects her bow before very late joining them for the circus-provided dinner of dino nuggets, applesauce, and green beans. she simply says "let's go" and hyacinth, rhen, and ted immediately follow her for some reason without asking any further questions. rhen has seen the goat again. surely this isn't a sign of anything bad.

we reach the? sinking mass on the outskirts of this town? okay? we get sucked into it what else are we going to do. it's at this point i should mention nicole based this off of a BUCKWILD episode of doctor who from the 60s i believe so forgive me i don't remember much of the wild ride in depth as it ocurred from here.

vera and hyacinth awaken in a labyrinth where our vision is in black and white with high contrast, the walls are made of? canvas? we can't really tell. we determine we are in hell based on a nat 1 and immediately pick a direction so that we can try to find and kill ronald reagan again. rhen and ted awaken in a similar labyrinth only they are seeing in sepia tone. both groups eventually realize we are in some absorbed plane of the feywild which means things of BONKERS gang. vera used thaumaturgy to make the sound of crows. crows showed up, started chasing us, bad. vera used thaumaturgy to try to make the sound of crows that were "hungry for justice and want to help us out here" to which nicole said "hey arlowe i need you to make whatever the fuck sound you think a 'vigilant crow' would make" i proceeded to make a curt, knightly crow sound. crows in armor fell from the sky successfully taking out the bad crows. at some point ted gets murdered by fairies and we all get separated. vera winds up in another part of the labyrinth where she sees some dude with a gun and gets trapped in a book (that's what the walls are made of! hardcover book canvas material!). hyacinth meets some creepy kids who test them with riddles because yeah why not we're already here. rhen is mourning ted. hyacinth successfully beats the riddles and is rewarded with a little vera in a book in a glass bottle who gets to reunite! and then we try and succeed in finding rhen by climbing on top of the books, discovering the labyrinth looks like a keyboard, we're on W and rhen is around Y (we figure out we're probably supposed to make it to escape). we all get together, make it to escape, and then as we leave get sucked into a gameshow with some horrible horrible fey man who is telling us to give him stories or choose option 2.

option 2 is the fucking one of us always lies two doors riddle from labyrinth, and it takes three people 45 minutes to figure it out on the spot but we succeed finally <333

[evil-m0nk]

SHOUTOUT TO THE TWO PEOPLE WHO

ASKED FOR THIS; YOU KNOW WHO YOU

ARE ♡

LET'S BE HONEST, I WAS GONNA POST THIS ANYWAY

BUT NOW I HAVE A REASON LOL

JIROUSHI HEADCANONS.

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THE POST THAT

INSPIRED THIS, CLICK HERE

FOR CONTEXT!

gay gay homosexual gay

DISCLAIMER BUDDY IS BACK WITH

ANOTHER MESSAGE FOR YOU

TO READ BEFORE YOU CONTINUE ON!

!!!Please note!!! All of the things stated in this blog are my own personal opinions and not meant to imply canon. My purpose is spilling out some headcanons for a crack ship cause it makes me happy. If you don't like this ship, feel free to ignore this post! Thank you and enjoy :)

*And if you guys wanna add onto this with your own headcanons for them, I would love that so much <33

///

These are in no particular order, just whatever comes to mind! I'll try to keep somewhat of a timeline in the beginning, but a fully-fleshed out, AO3 fanfic style timeline is a whole post by itself. (I'll gladly type that out too if you think you'll enjoy it 🥴) Creds to my friend for helping me out with some of this!!!

So without further adieu,

let's get into these headcanons!

///

RANDOM HEADCANONS ;

*Short and sweet, no particular order.

• They both love My Chemical Romance; Jiro's favorite album is Danger Days and Jyushi's is Welcome To The Black Parade. (another shoutout to my MCR fans.)

• Jiro plays MCR songs on his guitar for Jyushi to cheer him up.

• Jiro tried to teach Jyushi to play soccer, but he cried went he got mud on his boots and Jiro decided it would be better if Jyushi just watched instead.

• They read Junji Itō together on rainy days, usually accompanied by a blanket and tea that Ichiro made for them.

• They both have AO3 & Wattpad accounts for the sake of reading all the horrible fanfictions and giggling over them.

• Despite really enjoying each other's company, they still bicker like they did when they fake dated.

• Ichiro is proud of his brother for finally finding someone who he can spend time wish, while Kuko is completely disgusted by the fact Jyushi has a date. ( /lh ) Parents.

• Jiro once texted Ichiro, verbatim, "Can u tell your boyfriend's emo friend to text me back" and Ichiro left him on read.

• They once went on a double date with Ichiro and Kuko and I'm sure everyone can imagine how horrible and awkward that turned out.

• They are avid Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution players and usually have competitions to see who can score higher.

• Jyushi gave Jiro a wolf stuffed animal to match with Amanda and Jiro falls asleep with it in arms reach every night.

• Jyushi is a vegetarian and Jiro always remembers to get him something meat-free when they go out to eat.

TIMELINE HEADCANONS ;

• Jiro and Jyushi originally didn't like each other very much; Jiro thought Jyushi might be as stuck-up as everyone says he was, and Jyushi assumed that Jiro thought that. They didn't avoid one another, but they definitely didn't go out of their ways to interact.

• They were in a fake relationship for a few weeks, just because they were tired of being teased for constantly being alone. It happened at a high school dance, when Jiro went to sit on the bleachers and saw Jyushi sitting there too. He decided to sit next to him and it caused them to bicker back and forth for a while, then it dissolved into them devising a plan to "fake date". (If y'all want that extended timeline post...)

cont. : When they were around other people, like walking down the hallway, they would very begrudgingly hold hands. Jiro comments about how cold Jyushi's hands are and Jyushi snaps back with something like, "Well, your hands are clammy- s-so. . . Shut up!" This would inevitably lead to them bickering, shushing each other, smiling awkwardly at the people around them, shared glare, and repeat.

• They only really started to like each other's company when they realized that they had none in common than they thought. In canon, Jiro loves manga and Jyushi likes alternative fashion (visual kei), so naturally one of the things they had in common was owning Junji Itō mangas. They also share similar music taste, My Chemical Romance being the main one. ;)) This was found out when Jyushi went to Jiro's place for the first time. It was necessarily planned, but in a moment of worry they made plans to hang out within earshot of the other students. Jyushi didn't really pick up on the fact it was just a show and showed up at Jiro's place later that day.

• Their first official date happened partly because they realized they may actually have feelings for one another, and because the questions about how long they'd been together, how many dates they'd been on, how they met from their classmates became unavoidable. Since both of them are pretty terrible liars, they decided the only way to get out of this was an actual date. . . Were they lowkey flirting then? Absolutely.

• Because they're both teenagers with not much in the way of an income other than their rap groups, their first date was at a foodcart. The place was too crowded and loud for Jyushi's liking, and Jiro being the natural gentleman he is offered to buy their meals so Jyushi could get away from the noise.

cont. // slight writing bonus : Jyushi sits on a stairway away from the foodcarts, looking at the bright lights of the Shinjuku division. It doesn't take long for Jiro to return with their food--burgers. Jiro digs around in the paper bag containing their food awkwardly for a moment before pulling one out and handing it to Jyushi.

Jyushi hesitates as well, but eventually takes it from Jiro, who only then sits down next to him on the stairwell. He sits closer than Jyushi would have expected. Jyushi huffes, pulling back the wrapping of the burger, he turns to Jiro with a slightly annoyed expression, opening his mouth to speak;

"You know, I'm vegetarian. . . -"

"I know. It-it's a veggie burger."

Jyushi closes his mouth again and a small blush creeps over his face. His and Jiro's eyes meet for a moment,

"Oh. . . Well, thank you. . ."

and then he looks away before taking a quick bite of the burger in order to hide his face.

It seemed silly. . . though, no one had ever been that observant or caring toward him.

HEYYYY......I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT TO THE END BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY FINISHING THIS @ 3AM <33

THESE ARE SOSOSOSO FUN TO DO,, ESPECIALLY THAT STORY WRITING BIT AT THE END--I'M 100% DOWN TO POST A MINI FIC,, + MORE DETAIL AS WELL 👀👀👀

I'M A CLOUT-CHASER SO IF YOU GUYS WANNA LIKE/REBLOG/FOLLOW, I'LL LOVE YA TO DEATH,,, 💖

[chemnections]

Can I ask you something? I’m not trying to start anything but why is it okay for Frank and Mikey to repost fan art from 3 Cheers era but Lola can’t repost fan art for the record the account was made to promote? The sole purpose for the account was for Hesitant Alien. Yeah it was a decade ago but 3 Cheers is one year short of two decades ago. I understand Lola , Gerard and Lynz isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (I follow none of the three) but it seems hypocritical to not react the same way when Mikey and Frank do it over 3 Cheers or even Electric Century and Pency Prep. Like I said, I’m not trying to start anything, I’m just trying to understand your posts.

that's okay, i understand my posts can seem a little out of no where if you don't have the background context.

first thing is that hesitant alien was born out of the band break up. gerard was the only member signed to their record label of warner brothers for a solo album - he might have cut a deal as mcr was falling apart behind the others backs but either way it was warner brothers keeping gerard and tossing the others aside hoping that gerard solo would be profitable if mcr wasn't going to continue.

the other thing with the album being born from the breakup is that he took the opportunity to write some shady songs, mainly pointed at frank because between them was the highest point of conflict. lyrics to millions and get the gang together are probably the most blatant. drugstore perfume is also very shady. he would announce as 'being about a girl whose never leaving jeresy - this one was apparent to both be aimed at his mother who he was having conflict with and frank's wife, jamia (fans will often look at the fact that jamia unfollowed gerard on twitter during the band breakup but still follows everyone else including bob as a sign of conflict there. but gerard has shaded her in the umbrella academy because if five is frank, the dolores the mannequin represents jamia. it's safe to say that jamia is a stable down to earth person, the comparison is very sexist.)

the other thing with the breakup is that frank came out rough. he was looking rough during danger days, too. frank wrote stomachaches all on his own - i think he might have brought someone in for some of the drum tracks - but ultimately its all him. and it was fucking good and he got signed to a label all on his own. but if you look up his first live performance with the cellebration, he looks scared. despite being in so many bands and have done solo projects. with pency prep he was the front man so that wasn't even new to him. but the conflict at the end of mcr clearly took away a lot of his confidence to the point he was unsure if he could really do what was second nature to him. he has talked in interviews thinking about not returning to music after mcr, he talked about considering being a writer or even a mailman. he really had to rise from the ashes.

gerard did get help on the album, from james dewees, doug mckean and others. his solo live shows are also hard to watch, he seemed so unsure of himself when he doesn't have the mcr members supporting him. (even though getting rid of the band was supposed to fix his problems). he was a hesitant alien indeed.

so with that context in mind - the behaviour of when frank and mikey repost fan art is very different compared to when 'lola' reposts fan art. frank and mikey truly don't repost a lot of art. it is different posting mcr fan art because that is their life work - and when they were all united. they both don't have separate accounts dedicated to promoting their old solo albums. frank often uses his projects to encourage gerard to get back into music. electric century never really got its feet off the ground in the sense they never toured. they would never go on a 88 fan art repost spree to their story in the middle of the night. they both do not encourage fan art with fans' declarations of love and would not repost something like that. they keep healthy boundaries with fans.

lola is not a person. who is running the could is concealed from fans. lola encourages fans to profess their love to it by reposting and liking those kind of fan messages on mass - even though the fans don't know who they are saying that too, just a representative husk. (unless they do but that's a whole other issue).

lola is an account made for the promotion of hesitant alien, but has been converted to gerard's 'spokesperson', which is a strange move as he has a career outside of hesitant alien. what do new umbrella academy fans make of it - it's confusing. especially when gerard does have his own instagram who he could just hire a tech for to update it for him. but that's the thing, it doesn't have the anonymous animosity factor.

also lola is willing to promote ray and mikey. but lola would never promote or even acknowledge frank - until the reunion tour.

lola also comes alive to promote themselves and bask in fan attention at strategic times, like when frank is working on his projects. it is a way to take attention, shade as well as remind of an ugly time by way of a record that was not kind to frank at all.

essentially, the lola account is hostile under a layer of plausible deniability.

right now, this behaviour suggests that it is lindsey behind the account. when lindsey was on her public account she was notorious for shady tweets and bread crumbing. i'm not sure how much you know about lindsey, but she is dangerous to fans and the people around her she has a problem with. as much as i wish not to talk about her, i believe it's important to warn other fans to steer clear away from her. and try to deter some of the underhanded manipulation by calling it out.

[whyiask]

Just a Stupid Dare (ch.6)

Masterpost Ao3 Link tws: u!dark sides, fake friendship ig, lmk if I’m missing any notes: so this isn’t my best work but the next chapter is full on spy heist movie so hopefully that’ll make up for this slow chapter :))

This was a mistake, Virgil thought as he paced around his room, twisting his hands together. Why- why had he ever thought inviting Roman to his house was a good idea? In what scenario could this have possibly been a good idea? He had thrown it out there casually on Friday, he hadn’t actually expected Roman to accept the invite. He had said he might be busy- what had changed? Did it matter? It wasn’t like it was Virgil’s business to intrude.

The doorbell rang. Virgil checked his appearance once again in the mirror before jumping down the stairs to open the front door. He was wearing his hoodie like always. It gave him a slight sense of security for what was about to come. He took one more deep breath. 

I can do this. Roman is nice, he won’t be mean, it’ll be fine.

He opened the door, raising a hand in a slight wave of greeting and stepping aside to let Roman in. The taller boy stepped through the doorframe, running a hand through his wavy brown hair.

“Hi,” Roman said, lifting a hand in a weak salute. “How are you doing?”

It was clear Roman was just as uncomfortable as Virgil.

“Not too bad.” Virgil shrugged. “How about yourself?”

Roman took another step into the house and Virgil moved out of the way, shutting the door behind him and holding out a hand for his coat on instinct. Roman lips quirked upwards as he handed Virgil his long, dramatic coat.

“I’m fine,” Roman said, a little too quickly. It was then that Virgil took in his red-rimmed eyes under the tinted glasses and the fists his hands kept curling and uncurling into. He frowned. Had something happened…?

You’re not supposed to care, a voice in his mind whispered.

Virgil sent him a skeptical look, before turning to hang up Roman’s jacket on the rack. Roman sighed, running another hand through his hair, and pocketed his tinted glasses.

“Doubtful,” Virgil murmured. He grabbed Roman’s hand in his own- when had he become so bold?- and half pulled, half led the miserable boy up to his room.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” Virgil informed Roman, who nodded absently. Virgil frowned but didn’t ponder it, instead bounding back down the stairs and into the kitchen. He set about boiling some water and pulled out two mugs. One he filled with his usual hot chocolate powder (not that he’d ever tell anyone). He placed a teabag in the other. Roman seemed like the kind of theater kid who drank tea religiously. It was written all over his aesthetic.

Once the water was ready, he filled the cups and walked up to his room, careful not to spill either. When he nudged open the door with his toe, Roman was sitting on the edge of Virgil’s bed, clearly still uncomfortable. He was staring at Virgil’s MCR poster with a slight smile.

Virgil cleared his throat and Roman turned to him in surprise. He hopped up, graciously taking his mug and promptly taking a sip. Virgil raised an eyebrow, slightly amused, as Roman’s eyes widened and he swallowed hastily.

“Okay wow, that’s still hot,” he deadpanned, trying not to scrunch up his face in pain. Virgil bit back a laugh, instead sending a smirk his way and perching utop his dresser. Roman took a seat on his bed once more, blinking up at Virgil’s unusual seating position but thankfully not questioning it.

“So spill, what’s wrong?” Virgil asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

Roman’s shoulders drooped. “I… I just didn’t want to be alone right now.”

Virgil frowned. “Why not go to Swift or Gardener? Why me?” Logan and Patton should’ve been Roman’s first choice, there was no way he would come to Virgil willingly. They weren’t even friends.

He thinks you’re his friend.

A sudden wave a regret washed over Virgil but he shoved it aside. He refused to host a pity party for himself over his own actions. Right now was about Roman.

For someone so confident in a spotlight, he certainly seemed like he’d rather be anywhere but the center of attention.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Virgil added after a moment of nothing. If Roman’s continued silence was any indication, he had hit a nerve.

“No, no, I’ll tell you, it’s just- just, give me a moment.” Roman’s face was blank and Virgil started to fidget in the extended quiet. It was uncanny, seeing the naturally exuberant boy so quiet and downcast.

“I said some things,” Roman offered after another second. “We had an argument. That’s about it.”

Virgil felt a flash of alarm go through him. “So… you don’t have anywhere else to go?”

Roman’s head snapped up and he started to stand up. “Do you want me to leave, or?”

“No, no, no,” Virgil frantically cut him off. “That’s not what I meant. You can stay. I- I’d like it if you stayed. If you want to.”

Virgil found he meant every single word. For once, he wasn’t lying to Roman.

My friend…?

No. It was just a dare. Nothing more, nothing less. Virgil had to remind himself. He could not afford to get personal feelings involved.

Too late, whispered a treacherous part of his mind.

“Do you want to… do you want to do something to distract you, or something?” Virgil said, hands awkwardly in his lap. He had never been great at comforting people.

Roman glanced up shyly. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah that would be nice.”

“Uh,” Virgil’s brain short circuited as Roman continued to gaze at him expectantly. “We could watch a movie?” At Roman’s nod, Virgil picked up with more confidence. “Maybe something Disney? I know you love Disney…. oh, we could watch a musical? Or any other kind of movie, like, Mean Girls or whatever.”

Virgil didn’t know if his assumption had been correct, until Roman’s eyes lit up at the mention of the film. Of course Roman loved Mean Girls. It shouldn’t have come as the slightest surprise.

Then his excitement faded and he hesitated.

“I don’t know if I actually want to watch Mean Girls,” he chuckled humorlessly. “It hits a little too close to home nowadays.”

“What?” Virgil hadn’t been expecting that. “What do you mean?”

Roman scratched the back of his neck. “I mean…. Janus Flynn is pretty much a regular Regina George, isn’t he?”

Virgil frowned deeply. “Isn’t she the villain?”

“Isn’t he the villain?”

“Real life isn’t made up of heroes and villains,” Virgil said.

“I know,” Roman said, “but it’s so much easier to pretend it is.”

The doorbell rang. Virgil cursed and slouched over to his window, peeking through the curtains to the door a floor below. He froze. His stomach dropped.

No no no, they can’t see Roman here, they can’t-

Virgil took a deep breath. He glanced back at Roman who was standing up curiously at Virgil’s worried expression.

“Speak of the devil,” he mumbled, shoving the curtains closed once more. Roman looked at him worriedly, but Virgil’s mind was working in overtime.

He looked once more at Roman.

“Janus is here,” he said simply, calmly.

“What?!” Roman hissed in alarm.

“But don’t worry,” Virgil said, eyes glinting. “I have a plan.”

[danganronpa-imagine-headcanon]

Hi!! Could i get a match-up for danganronpa please? i rlly love ur blog and i’m so happy u started it!! 💓💓 I’m a bisexual cis girl. I am very optimistic, caring and sweet, and i love to nurture and take care of my s/o (im affectionate). I’m also a writer! though i specialise in novels lol, and i LOVE music. Taylor Swift is my entire life, but I also like Lana del Rey, halsey, olivia rodrigo, mcr, and anything alt or pop. I really love to write, whether its a novel or poetry, and I like to read too! I also journal a lot. I’m 4’11 and have blonde hair, and i ALWAYS wear pink. I’m very hyper-feminine and i love girly things, like painting my nails, doing makeup and dancing! I love making friends, and while im more of an introvert, I still enjoy social gatherings. I love the idea of having an s/o who will eat whatever I bake for them (i love baking!) Thank you so much and have a wonderful day! 💓💗💗💘💝💞💕

I match you with Toko Fukawa from v1!

Toko wouldn’t admit it, but she would like your affectionate nature and how you care for her. It makes her feel safe, because she hasn’t often gotten a lot of care and affection.

Toko also loves to write! You two would probably write together in silence, some cheesy love music drifting in the background as you shared your works together if you wanted. Toko also enjoys reading, she likes improving her writing that way. You two have hobbies in common!

Toko wouldn’t mind the girly things you tend to enjoy. She doesn’t actively do it for herself, but she would use just about any excuse to spend time with you. Painting nails? Sure— why not? Dancing? She isn’t that good at it, but hey, she’d love it if you were the one to teach her.

Toko would be happy to try anything you made, and if you ever made anything for her, her heart would swell and she would feel really happy— though, she may not admit that early on in the relationship!

Overall— Toko and you have similiar hobbies, and would have a nice time doing them together. You’d get her to open up a little bit more, and try different things, while she would give you gentle ways to improve and allow small things she does for you to linger in your everyday life— making things easier for you. You two would truly make a good match.

Second match is Sayaka Maizono from v1!

Sayaka would love an affectionate significant other, and she would be happy to return it! It’s a thing that’s important for her in a relationship, nurturing each other. Besides, she doesn’t mind a little extra attention from someone she admires so dearly!

Sayaka isn’t as into writing as you are, but she may start a journal thanks to you, and write in it occasionally. She would be happy to read anything you wrote, if you did want to show it to her! If you built up the confidence to let her read anything you wrote, she would approach you with just as much enthusiasm.

You two would probably listen to music together, and maybe even write songs together! You listen to her singing a lot and actively encourage her, which means a lot more to her than you could ever know.

Sayaka is one for girly things herself! You would definitely paint each other’s nails and do each other’s makeup, with her flinching and laughing when you do her eyeshadow, “Stop, that tickles!” She would be happy if you let her choose an outfit for you, and would adore it if you chose one for her. She finds something endearing in that.

If you ever baked anything, Sayaka would smile at you and try your baking. She does like sweet things, and it tastes even better knowing that you made it and put so much effort into it.

Overall, you two would just be really sweet together. You would care about each other a lot, and even do the things you have in common together! You would make her happy and help her learn that it’s okay to be herself and not always putting on a pop star persona, and she would encourage you to continue with what you love and promise she’ll be there every step of the way!

hey anon! thanks for sending in the request ^^ i’m glad you like my blog and writing— thank you so much for reading my writing! it means a ton :) i hope you liked these matchups! if you aren’t happy with them, feel free to send the request in again. have a nice day!

-Mod Kirumi

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Only Mine (Pt. 6)

A/N: We’re using Taylor songs again because we love Queen Taylor. So these are not my works (obviously) but hers. However if you’ve never heard some of these I would highly suggest you check them out because all Taylor songs are absolute bops. Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Pop Star!Reader Word count: 3,541 Warnings: Swearing, implied sex (no smut though), arguing (minor)

You found the release of Fractious to be the most ironic days of your life.

You were in the media everywhere, selling only a few thousands copies less in it’s first week than your previous record. Which you were fine with, that was somewhat of the plan.

But you were no where to be seen. Hiding out in a new house you and Gerard had bought New Jersey for just under three million dollars. But no one knew about that purchase, other than your closest family and friends. Because no one needed to know.

The suspense of it all started extremely high, as you only announced the album 12 hours prior to its drop. And the world went insane, fans jumping to Twitter to go absolutely crazy over this new persona that they had already began to love, and some had already caught onto the ‘good girl gone bad’ idea.

You released the entire tracklist only three hours before the drop, and you were already stalking fan pages who began making theories about what it meant. There were already a lot of ‘THIS ONE’S ABOUTE GERARD’ and theories already popping up about him, which made you lightly smile knowing damn well a lot of it was.

The tracklist read: Blank Space I Knew You Were Trouble Style End Game I Did Something Bad I Know Places Out Of The Woods Dancing With Our Hands Tied Don’t Blame Me Getaway Car Clean

You smiled and lightly laughed once you refreshed your phone on the couch, your face and name at the top of iTunes and various other music providers promoting your new album.

“Congrats babe.” Gerard said from where he sat next to you, giving you a kiss and squeezing your thigh, “I’m proud of you.” “Thanks Gee.” You leaned your head onto his shoulder, “I love you. So much.” “I love you more.” He smiled down.

What made it all the better was how MCR was entering into their punk era, only making your album and new persona more believable. You had to admit, Gerard’s red and shaggy hair was really hot, and you were living for it, as you had told him a million times.

And you knew how much he loved your new era. As much as he genuinely loved the real, bubbly you (which is of course why he married you) he continuously admired your new all black look, managing to wear skin tight jeans and short shorts with more crop tops than usual and leather jackets galore. And you can’t forget how many pairs of Doc Martins you had, plus Louboutin boots all for the red bottoms. You basically looked like a filthy rich home wrecker, AKA the look you were going for.

But at home and in private you were the same old Y/N, always letting your natural hair fall into its regular ways, with little to no makeup and not ashamed to wear whatever you wanted.

What seemed to put the cherry on top to this new era was the newest addition to your family, AKA a black french bulldog named Rocko the two of you got. He was a tornado of chaos who would run around the house with his dozens of toys, taunting you and Gerard with them as if to show some form of superiority that he clearly lacked. You treated him like he was a newborn baby, constantly. You bought him clothes, beds, and toys, letting him sleep with you and Gerard despite your husbands protests about how he “took up too much room”. To you, the little canine could do nothing wrong.

That was until he chewed up your favorite pair of shoes, which just oh so happened to cost multiple hundreds of dollars. Gerard was furious at his actions, complaining that there was no reason for him to do so with the countless amount of toys he already had. You were mad at first too, but after only a few seconds of the pup giving you his eyes of sympathy you forgave him and moved on as if nothing happened. Gerard was still in his state of anger though.

“Oh, look, the designs for the tour outfits came in.” You smiled from where you laid on the couch, checking emails on your laptop, Rocko at your feet sitting between you and Gerard who was reading a book. You opened up the file to be greeted with all dozen outfits, which were beyond perfect. Gerard looked over, interested in the topic. “I like that one.” You pointed to one especially scandalous duo of tiny shorts and an even smaller top that could have been easily mistaken for a bra if it wasn’t for the thicker material on the all black set with black tights. “It makes me look like a whore.” Gerard nearly spat out his coffee.

“But you’re not a whore.” “Yeah, well, my alter ego is.” You smiled. “And you made her that way.” You looked up at him from quickly, “Take that as a compliment.” “How is me turning my wife into a whore a compliment?” He asked, puzzled.

“Just take it as one.” You huffed.

“I do think you’ll look bad ass in it though,” He remarked, returning to his book.

“Awww, thanks babe.” You blushed, “Maybe I’ll ask them to make you a matching outfit.” You lightly laughed. “Haha, very funny.” He rolled his eyes.

“It sucks we’ll be touring at the same time.” You sighed, “I miss being able to see you and the guys more.” “Yeah I miss you too,” He sighed as well, “And Ray does too.” You lightly laughed.

“Ray’s coming to the first show, right?” You asked, looking up at Gerard. He nodded.

“He cleared all of his schedule to go and he’s pumped.” You smiled.

“Good.” You closed your laptop, climbing over to give Gerard a kiss, which he happily accepted and did the same back. “Somedays I wish you kissed me the way as you do Frank.” You lightly smiled, letting go as he chuckled.

“I mean, I could.” He smiled at you, running his hands through your hair, “But that’s more aggressive and in the moment. I prefer to savor the kisses I have with you, let you know how much I love you.” You smiled, lightly rolling your eyes.

“You’re so sappy sometimes, Gee.” You responded, “But I love it.”

That night, as you were going to bed, you stopped in your mirror momentarily to take a look at yourself. You had gained 25-ish pounds since your break from the spotlight, still recovering from your ED. Your doctor said that you were healthy now, but some of the fatrolls that fell on your sides and hip dips as well were starting to bother you. And your stomach still had that bit of blub that you were never very fond of.

Gerard walked past you in the bathroom, immediately getting the memo. “Am I too fat?” You turned around and asked him, his face turning to a form of ridicule.

“You’re a fucking goddess.” He said looking you up and down, “So no.”

“Are you sure Gee-” Before you could finish, he grabbed your hand and practically dragged you to bed where he pushed you down with ease beneath him, giving you a searing kiss.

“You’re fucking gorgeous and the most beautiful woman alive. If you say one more thing about you not being perfect I’m going to frame every photo of you in every inch of this damn house so you know just how incredible you are.” “Fine.” You sighed reluctantly. “Now say it with me,” He began, “I, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N-Way am perfect.” You sighed, choosing to go with it.

“I, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N-Way am perfect.” “Good girl.” He said with another quick kiss. You lightly laughed, rolling over to your side of the bed to give Gerard his. You took your hand, running your fingers through his messy hair as the two of you stared at each other.

“After these two tours, I think I want to take a break.” You admitted, saying so above a whisper. He lightly nodded. “Maybe we can start a family.” He nodded again. “And settle down.” He gave you a kiss on the nose.

“That sounds perfect.”

-Time skip because I’m lAzY-

You were on stage doing what you do best, simultaneously swaying your hips to the music and going along with some of the choreography, as if the skin tight black and sparkly body suit and above the knee black boots weren’t enough.

As usual, you would look over to your husband where he was in the VIP section and sing to him, a smile plastered on his face. You would occasionally look over to see both the approval of your family, and friends, including Ray who seemed to be having the time of his life dancing and singing the lyrics.

The show was going absolutely perfect, it was bigger than any other that you had ever done, a larger stage, larger screens, larger everything. Even a larger crowd with over 100,000 people for your first show on tour. You could hear the audience echo your lyrics, jumping up and down judging by the movements of their light up wrist bands.

You of course played a few songs off of your previous album, doing a few acoustic with just you and the crowd which were some of your favorite experiences and moments. You also did a quick speech thanking all of your loyal fans who waited for you to come back with new music, despite the long period of time where you were no where to be seen.

After the finale, you ran back with a huge smile still on your face with your team, drinking some water constantly to hydrate yourself. It only took you a few moments in the back hallways of the stadium before you saw your husband at one end, smiling at you. You smiled back, running up to him and clinging your arms around him. He hugged you back, giving you a quick kiss. “You did great.” He whispered with a huge smiled, “I’m so proud.” “Thanks.” You smiled back, giving him another kiss. The two of you walked away, arms around each other as you leaned onto him. You tried to keep PDA to a limit, especially since the documentary was actively being made and was recording everything.

Once you were back in your private dressing room where no one else was, he gave you an even bigger hug, swinging you around and you lightly squealed. “You’re just so good.” He laughed.

“Thanks.” You smiled at him, letting go to go and take off your makeup at the chair. “I just gotta meet a few fans then we can go back to the hotel.” You told him through the mirror and he nodded.

“Y/N?” You heard your assistant knock at the door. “Hey, Betty.” You smiled up at her and she smiled back.

“I assumed you would want Rocky with you.” She said, putting the small black dog and he ran up to your chair.

“Ah yes,” You smiled down at him, picking him up and giving him a bunch of kisses on his little face, “Thank you.” You told her and she nodded, “No problem.” She closed the door back. You held the small dog in your lap, finishing off your face and hair before getting up and putting him down to change into regular clothes from your stage outfit.

“Gee?” You asked and he hummed, looking up from his phone, “Could you unzip me?” You asked and he nodded, getting up to do so. Usually Gerard would pull something after that, making it less PG, but you shot him a quick glare warning him not to do anything, so he didn’t.

You quickly replaced your stage clothes with a pair of jeans and sweatshirt, turning around to see Gerard still staring at you, wide eyes. “Oh please,” you sighed at him, “We’ve been together for over eight years Gee, handle yourself.” “Sorry, it’s just really hard to.” He tried to defend himself, you rolled your eyes.

“I’ll be back soon, babe.” You smiled, giving him a peck on the lips before excusing yourself.

The meet and greet went by as always, taking about half an hour before you said bye to everyone, taking photos, and then went back to Gerard. He was still on his phone on one of the couches in the room, Rocko by his feet. “Ready to go?” He asked, looking up, and you nodded grabbing your phone and backpack.

On the way out you couldn’t stop smiling, hand in hand with Gerard going in one of the large black SUVs, you going in first, then Rocko, then Gerard. “How’re you feeling?” Your husband asked and you just smiled.

“Great,” You admitted, taking a sip from your water, “Everyone loved it.” He gave your thigh a squeeze and looked at you.

“It was definitely pretty bad ass.” He smiled and you lightly laughed.

You had walked into your suite, setting your bag and the dog down, placing him in his bed (in the living room part of the room) while Gerard grabbed him a bowl of water. You gave the dog a quick good night kiss, resorting to your own room where Gerard followed, closing the door behind you.

Almost immediately your lips were clashed together, his hands on your waist as he swiftly put you on the large plush duvet of the bed, moving down to your collarbone and neck.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked for only a brief moment, as a double check. You shook your head violently.

“No,” You sighed out, “Please no.” He smiled down at you connecting your lips against. “Whatever you want, sugar.”

-Another time skip-

You wouldn’t have ever known if it wasn’t for the insane amount of fatigue and throwing up you were going through, only a month into tour. Initially you could’ve sworn it was just a cold turned to maybe the flu, as many of the symptoms you were having would go away within a few hours, so you were ready for show time.

But here you sat in your hotel room, curled up on the bed with Rocko next to you, your mind completely empty as you stared into the thin air, Betty had run to the nearest pharmacy. What were you going to do on tour? Fans would figure it out easily. But what would you tell Gerard?

Once Betty came back she gave you a somber, almost apologetic smile handing your the small bag. You thanked her, closing the door and going into the bathroom.

You stood over the bathroom sink, your hands gripping the granite edges for dear life as you stared down at the three tests. All positive. It took you a few minutes of staring, rocking back and forth, for everything to sink in.

This was not how you planned it, it was never supposed to go like this. You and Gerard were going to take a break, settle down, have your first child and be together all through your pregnancy. Now you were both on huge tours promoting your new work, away from home for at least the next five months. 

You could feel warm tears stream down your cheeks, a small sniffle coming from your nose as you grabbed your phone. Reluctantly, you pressed on your husband’s name, pressing the small phone icon displayed underneath it. You put your face up to the screen slowly. Only a few rings and he answered.

“Hey Y/N/N,” He said, “What’s up.” It took you a few seconds, but you immediately bursted into sobs. “Baby? What’s wrong?” He spoke up, voice with lots of concern.

“Gee,” You began, sniffing again through the sobs, “I’m um- I’m pregnant.” You said. No one spoke for the next few seconds, complete silence on both ends of the line.

“Sweetie,” He said in a light voice, a small laugh following afterwards, “That’s great!” “No, Gerard, it isn’t.” You snapped, “We had all of this planned out perfectly, no one was going to know unless we wanted them to. But no, in the beginning of a fucking world tour this has to happen.” You raised your voice, “And I get it, this is gonna be a fucking walk in the park for you because you’re not here, and you don’t have to play in front of over 50,000 people every night in body tight suits. And you’re going to be separated from your pregnant wife. Life’s probably fucking perfect for you.” You weren’t sure what had gotten into you, but whatever it was it wasn’t pretty.

“What?” He asked, “You say it like we never wanted this. Sometimes things don’t go to plan Y/N.” He snapped back.

“Well they have to in our world Gerard!” You yelled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, “We have our lives set out for the next six months. And this is a big deal, and something we can’t do right now.”

“So are you going to get an abortion? Are you going to put it into the adoption system?” He yelled back. You took a few moments to think.

“No.” You admitted, barely above a whisper, “Gee, I’m sorry.” You began sobbing again, your sad feeling taking over any angry one.

“No, sugar, I am.” He clarified with a sigh, “You’re going through a lot and I should be supporting you, not arguing.” “Well I kinda started it.” “And I shouldn’t have continued it.” He responded. “Honey, we’ll figure this out.” He insisted, “We’ll talk to your tour manager and everyone who needs to know, we’ll figure something out. Some way to hide it.” “Okay.” You said somberly.

“Give me a few minutes,” He said, “I’m going to figure out a way to get to you.” “Gee, you’re booked for the next fews months on tour.” “And so are you, but you’re also carrying our child right now.” He spoke back, “We’re going to figure it out, okay? We’re going to have a kid, and start a family, maybe a little off track from what we intended, but this is what we’ve wanted, right?” You nodded despite him not seeing you.

“Yeah, of course.” You calmed down. “This is what we’ve wanted.”

It took a full week for a plan to be made. A week of unnecessary stress and anxiety for everyone on your team who was high enough on the roster to know about the pregnancy. Not even your families or friends knew, everything right now was business.

Gerard managed to fly in during a three day break the band had, consoling your emotions during the time as you two began to discuss personal plans. There was a lot of crying, both tears of sadness and joy, as you two began to discuss where you would live most of the time, which room the baby would take, how to even handle a child.

You already knew the baby’s name, which could go for either a boy or girl: Shiloh Monet Way. You were still very unsure about planning to have a baby, but since your tour would end when the third trimester began, you would have at least a few months to plan and figure out everything.

Gerard had already talked to the guys and their managers about pushing back some of the dates so there was a month break for him to be home around the baby’s due date. At the very least he wanted to be with you while giving birth, but he also wanted to help both you and the baby recover.

New outfits and plans to completely hide your pregnancy were already in the working with your teams. It was like a completely undercover operation to keep both you and your child’s privacy to a fine tune. And of course. Gerard and the guys promised to not say anything at all, even a hint towards you being pregnant wouldn’t be dropped.

“I say we wait to tell our families and friends,” You admitted to your husband, the two of you on the hotel bed getting ready to go to a sound check. “Just in case anything happens. I mean, we have to tell our teams and the guys and stuff, which we did, but no one else.” He nodded.

“Just not for too long,” He said, “Or at least once we know that baby’s developing fine.” You nodded and sighed.

“I was hoping having our first child together wouldn’t be this stressful.” You admitted, almost shamefully in a way.

“It’s okay, sugar.” He put his hand on your thigh and gave it a light squeeze. “We’re going to make the best of it, okay? You have a little less than five months left on your tour and then I get to take a break. This’ll work out just fine.” You nodded, placing your head on his shoulder as you knew he was right.

“You make everything better, Gee.” You said, playing with his hand as he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“I’ll do it for you, sweetheart.”