#so what i'm thinking is that i might move in a circle? One thing kind of leads into the next. the connective tissue is the characters.

[our-inspire-verse]

Just keeps going round and round eh?

[gilbertscurls]

Taste ➵ Matt Sturniolo

warnings: SMUT, virgin!matt, softdom!reader, unprotected p in v, heavy on praise and consent, oral!f!receiving, can't tell if it's cringe or not lmao

synopsis: on their first anniversary, y/n and matt finally decide to go all the way.

“I can't believe it's been a year already.” You let out a quiet sigh.

Matt nodded, the thought of their year together bringing a smile to his lips.

“Yeah. It feels like just yesterday we had our first date,” he said, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.

He remembered every detail of that day, the way you looked, the way he'd been so nervous he felt like he might throw up. But he'd found the courage to ask you out, and you'd said yes. It felt like a dream come true.

Matt's gaze drifted from your face to the room around them. The soft, warm light of the lamp by the bed was casting shadows on the walls, the room cozy and intimate. The silence between them was comfortable, broken only by their soft breathing. Matt couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment, a feeling of being right where he belonged.

“I can't believe how lucky I am,” he murmured, his voice low. “To have you, I mean.”

“I'm the lucky one,” you whispered.

Matt chuckled softly at your words, his fingers still tangled in your hair.

“Oh, please,” he said, a hint of a smile in his voice. “I'm the one who gets to hold you like this, to call you mine. I think I won the lottery.”

You giggled, a sound that always made Matt's heart skip a beat.

“I can't argue with that,” you conceded. You snuggled closer to him, resting your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “But I get to hold you back, so we're even.”

Matt's hand moved to your back, gently tracing circles on your skin. The feel of you against him, the sound of your voice, was comforting and soothing, but it also stirred a different kind of feeling in him. A feeling of desire and longing.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion.

He tightened his arm around you, pulling you even closer, his fingers tracing your spine. Matt's heart thrummed with anticipation. The fact that you've never done more than kiss had been on his mind a lot lately. He wanted you, more than he could say. And tonight felt different, special. It was their anniversary, a milestone in their relationship. A part of him ached to take things further, to show you how much he loved you. But his insecurities and anxieties held him back. What if he wasn't good enough? What if he disappointed you? The thought was terrifying.

“Baby,” he finally said, breaking the silence between them. He swallowed hard, his heart beating a little faster. “Can I ask you something?” His voice was nervous, and he was suddenly regretting asking you anything at all.

At his anxious tone, you knitted your brows and turned to face him. “Of course. What is it?”

Matt looked down at you, his thoughts a swirling mess of anxiety and desire. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “It's… It's our anniversary,” he started, his voice a little shaky. “And I was wondering…”

He trailed off, the words failing him. He felt like a complete idiot. He'd never been good with expressing his desires, especially when it came to physical intimacy.

You gazed at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. You could tell he was nervous, and it made you worry. You reached up, gently caressing his cheek. “Yes?” you prompted, your voice gentle and encouraging.

Matt's heart fluttered at your touch, and he took another deep breath, summoning his courage. “I was just… I was thinking…” he mumbled, his words barely more than a whisper. “Tonight, I was hoping we could… Take things further.”

He felt a blush rising up his cheeks, and he quickly looked away, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.

“Oh,” you said quietly. “Are you sure? Like, 100% sure?”

Matt nodded quickly, his heart hammering in his chest. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice trembling slightly. “I'm sure. I've been thinking about it for a while now. I… I want you, baby.”

Saying the words out loud sent a shockwave of adrenaline through him. It was exhilarating, terrifying, and wonderful all at once. But he knew he needed to be honest, to lay it all out on the table.

“I'm just... nervous,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I've never done anything more than kissing, and I don't… I don't know if I'll be any good.”

“It's okay,” you whispered, reaching up to caress his cheek. “But are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you'll regret.”

Matt leaned into your touch, the warmth and tenderness of your hand calming him down a little. But your words also made him pause. Was he sure? He desperately wanted this, wanted you. But his insecurities were still looming, a dark cloud in the back of his mind.

“I'm sure,” he replied, his eyes searching yours. “I want this. With you.”

“All right.” You nodded. “How… How far are we talking?”

Matt felt his cheeks flush even more, but he forced himself to keep eye contact with you. He appreciated your directness, and your willingness to talk about this openly.

“I, uh…” he began, his voice still a little shaky. “Everything, I guess. If you want that.”

He swallowed hard, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He hoped he wasn't pressuring you or coming on too strong.

You felt your heart skipping a beat and heat already pooling in your lower abdomen. “I do,” you said softly. “But I want to make sure you're completely comfortable.”

Hearing your confirmation sent a pang of excitement through Matt. He felt a mix of emotions, desire, affection, and a hint of fear. But overruling it all was a deep sense of trust. Your words, your reassurance, it was all he needed.

“I am,” he said, his voice a little steadier now. “I trust you, baby. Completely.”

A small, tender smile crept onto your face. “Okay.” Your voice was so soft, so sweet, so kind. “Do you… Want me to take the lead?”

Matt's heart leaped at your question, a mix of relief and desire coursing through him. The idea of you taking control was both frightening and exciting. He hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “I… I want you to take the lead.”

You put one of your hands on his cheek before slowly and gently pressing your lips against his.

Matt's heart skipped a beat at the feel of your lips on his. He'd kissed you countless times before, but this kiss felt different, more intimate. He let out a soft sigh against your mouth, all his anxieties and worries melting away as your touch filled his senses. He brought his own hands up to cup your face, his fingers gently tracing your jaw, his touch soft and reverent.

The kiss deepened, their mouths moving against each other in a slow, languorous dance. Matt could feel the heat pooling in his stomach, the desire for you growing with every passing second. The fear was still there, but it was muffled by the overwhelming sensation of pleasure. He pulled you closer, his hands moving to your hips, his fingers pressing into your skin.

Not stopping the kiss, You moved to straddle his lap, your knees on both sides of his thighs.

Matt felt a shiver run down his spine as you straddled him, your body suddenly so close and so warm. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you even closer, their bodies now pressed together in a way you’ve never been before. The feeling of your weight on his lap ignited a new wave of desire in him, his kisses growing even more intense. He wanted you, desperately.

“You okay?” you mumbled into his lips.

Matt's breath caught in his throat as you spoke, the feeling of your words more like breath than a sound. He couldn't even form a response, his mind completely consumed by your touch and the taste of your lips. He managed a nod, a weak yes whispered against your mouth. He was more than okay. He was on fire.

Matt groaned involuntarily at the feel of your tongue against his lip, the sound more a mixture of pleasure and need than anything else. He immediately parted his lips, granting you access without a second thought. His hands moved to your thighs, his fingers gripping your flesh as he opened his mouth to her.

The kiss grew hungrier, more urgent. Their tongues tangled together, exploring each other without restraint. Matt was lost in the sensation, in the feeling of you in his lap, your body pressed against him. He could hardly think straight, his mind clouded by desire and need. His hips involuntarily bucked slightly, seeking more contact.

“Impatient, huh?” You teased softly, pulling away a little.

Matt let out a low growl of frustration as you pulled away, a mix of desire and irritation in his expression. He was getting so lost in the moment, he was aching for more. Your words, your tease only heightened his need.

“Baby…” he breathed, his voice a mixture of pleading and impatience. “Don't tease me.”

You smiled tenderly before grabbing his both hands and sliding them under your crop top, urging him to take it off.

Matt let out a sharp breath at the feel of your skin under his hands, your top soft and warm. Without hesitation, he moved his hands slowly up your stomach, his fingers exploring the planes of your skin as he helped you pull off your crop top. It fell to the floor, forgotten. His eyes went wide at the sight of your half-naked upper body, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Oh God,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire.

Matt couldn't have looked away even if he'd wanted to. His eyes were drawn to your chest, his breath hitching at the sight. It was as if his brain was shorting out, his desire for you overwhelming everything else. He felt a mix of awe, arousal, and a hint of nervousness. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly very dry.

“You're… You're so beautiful,” he managed to whisper, his voice thick with want.

You smiled softly, your fingertips tracing his shoulders over the t-shirt. “Can I take it off, baby?”

Matt's muscles twitched under your touch, your words sending a shudder down his spine.

“Yes,” he breathed, his voice a little shaky. “Please.”

He wanted to feel your skin on his, the touch of your fingers on his bare chest. He raised his arms to help you as you tugged his t-shirt over his head, discarding it to the side.

Matt's muscles twitched under your touch, your words sending a shudder down his spine. “Yes,” he breathed, his voice a little shaky. “Please.”

He wanted to feel your skin on his, the touch of your fingers on his bare chest. He raised his arms to help you as you tugged his t-shirt over his head, discarding it to the side.

Once the shirt was off, his chest was now bare, exposed to your touch and gaze. Matt felt a mixture of vulnerability and excitement, his heart beating fast in his chest. He could feel your eyes on him, your fingers tracing soft patterns on his skin. He wanted you, all of you.

“Baby,” he murmured, his voice ragged with need. “Touch me.”

Obediently, You ran your fingertips through his shoulders, to his arms, to his chest. “God, you're so beautiful,” you whispered breathlessly.

Matt's breath caught in his throat as your fingers glided over his skin, your touch leaving trails of fire in its wake. He shivered under your touch, a small moan escaping his lips. Your words, your voice, your touch — it was all almost too much to bear.

“No, you are,” he breathed, his own hands moving to your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh. "So beautiful. So perfect."

You were doing everything so slowly and gently, knowing that he'd never done anything like that before. You wanted to make it so good for him. Matt was both grateful and frustrated by your slow and gentle pace. Grateful that you were so patient, and so understanding, but frustrated because he just wanted more. He wanted to be consumed by you, to lose himself in your touch. But he knew you were doing it for his sake, to make it easier for him, and that only made him love you more.

“Baby,” he gasped, his voice pleading. “Please. More. I need more.”

You smirked before leaning a little closer to his face. “You want more?”

Matt looked at you, his eyes dark with desire, his expression a mixture of need and pleading.

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice a little breathless. “I want more. I want all of you.”

He reached up to you, his hands skimming up your sides, his touch firm and possessive. He wanted to touch you, to feel you, to lose himself in you.

“Please,” he added, his voice a low, desperate plea.

You held his face as you kissed him once again, the kiss sweet and full of emotion.

Matt returned the kiss hungrily, his lips moving against yours with a mix of desperation and affection. He couldn't get close enough to you, his hands roaming over your bare skin, wanting to feel you, to touch you everywhere. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth with a new, more urgent fervor. He could feel his desire for you growing, overpowering everything else.

“Baby…” he breathed into your mouth. “Please, I… I need you.”

Matt swore, his head falling back on the pillow as you ground your hips with his. The feel of you grinding against him, the friction, the heat, and the pressure — it was almost too much. He gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh, trying to pull you closer, to increase the contact. A low moan escaped his lips, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

“Oh God,” he panted, his eyes squeezed shut. “Baby… That feels… That feels so good.”

“You sound so pretty,” you praised breathlessly.

Matt blushed at your words, his heart fluttering at your praise. He let out another soft moan as you rode against him, his body responding instinctively. He was completely lost in the sensation, the feel of your body against his driving him mindless. He tried to form words, to respond, but all that came out was another low groan.

“God… Baby,” he breathed, his hands still holding onto your hips. “Don't… Don't stop.”

His body was on fire, his every nerve alive with desire. He could feel his own hardness growing beneath you, a testament to how much he needed you. His hips canted upward, seeking more contact, wanting to be closer, closer, closer. He opened his eyes, looking up at you, his gaze filled with a mix of want and awe.

“Sweetheart… I… I don't know how much… How much longer I can last,” he whispered, his voice thick with need.

“It's okay, baby,” you cooed, halting your movements.

Matt let out a small, involuntarily whine as you stopped moving, his body protesting the lack of sensation. He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire and frustration, but also with a hint of relief. He was so close to the edge, he didn't know how much longer he could hold on.

“I… I thought you would keep going,” he breathed, his voice a combination of disappointment and need.

“Patience, sweetheart,” you teased, your hand running down his chest, from his shoulder to his happy trail, before finally resting on the buckle of his belt.

Matt's breath hitched at your touch, your hand igniting a trail of fire on his skin. He watched as your hand moved down his chest, down his stomach, to the buckle of his belt. A wave of heat washed over him, making his entire body shiver with anticipation.

“Patience,” he echoed, his voice a rough whisper. “You're… You're killing me.”

You gently hooked your finger under the belt. “Can I?”

Matt nodded, his eyes locked on yours, his breathing shallow and ragged. He trusted you completely and wanted you to take whatever you needed from him. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice thick with need. “Do whatever you want. I'm all yours.”

“So good for me,” you praised before expertly unbuckling his belt and tugging his jeans down.

Matt's heart leaped at your praise, a sense of pride and satisfaction filling him. He lifted his hips slightly, helping you pull his jeans down. He was now only in his boxer briefs, the material doing little to conceal his arousal. He was completely exposed, both physically and emotionally, and he could do nothing but lay there and look up at you, his desire for you burning in his gaze.

“Only for you,” he whispered, his voice a quiet admission.

“Already so worked up for me, huh?” you asked breathlessly, a small smile on your face.

Matt blushed at your comment, the heat spreading across his cheeks. He could feel the evidence of his arousal straining against the fabric of his boxer briefs. He was so worked up, so needy, so desperate for your touch. He swallowed hard, his voice husky and raw.

“Yeah,” he breathed, his eyes fixed on yours. “Only for you. I want you so badly, sweetheart.”

You sat back on his lap, caressing his cheek. “You want to try to take off my bra, baby?”

Matt's eyes widened at your suggestion, a mix of excitement and anxiety washing over him. He'd never taken off a bra before, and he was suddenly unsure of himself. He swallowed hard, his throat dry.

“Yes,” he rasped, his voice betraying his nervousness. “I… I want to try.”

His hands moved to your back, his fingers trembling slightly as he reached for the clasp of your bra. He tried to steady his breathing, but his heart was racing, his mind a jumble of thoughts and feelings.

“I… I'll probably be bad at this,” he admitted, his voice a hesitant whisper.

“It's okay,” you assured him softly. “I don't mind.”

Matt nodded, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He fumbled with the clasp for a few seconds, his fingers feeling both clumsy and inadequate. But finally, with a soft click, the bra came undone. The cups fell loose, revealing your bare chest to him. He stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide, his breath caught in his throat.

“Oh… Wow,” he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and desire.

You smiled a little sheepishly.

Matt's eyes drank you in, every inch of your beautiful skin, every curve and contour. His hands were itching to touch you, to feel your flesh under his fingertips.

“You are… You are so exquisite,” he breathed, his voice filled with a mixture of wonder and admiration. “You take my breath away.”

Noticing his hands twitching, your smile softened. “You can touch me.”

Matt couldn't believe you were actually giving him permission to touch you, to touch this beautiful woman who was willingly sitting on his lap, your body bare for him. He lifted his hands, his fingers hovering slightly above your skin.

“I… I want to,” he breathed, his voice a shaky whisper. He wanted to feel you so badly, but he was also afraid of doing something wrong, of upsetting you in some way. “Are you… Are you sure it's okay?”

“I am. Don't think so much. Just… Feel.”

Matt took a deep breath, allowing the words to sink in. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting go of the nagging thoughts and doubts in his mind. When he opened them again, his gaze was clear, his expression relaxed.

And then he touched you.

His fingers skimmed lightly over your skin, slowly, delicately, exploring the soft planes of your chest. A shiver ran through him as he felt the heat of your flesh, the suppleness of your skin.

“God, you're so soft,” he whispered.

Sensing that he was still holding back, You smiled softly and grabbed his hand, putting it directly on your breast, and gently squeezing his fingers.

Matt gasped, his breath hitching in his throat as your hand guided his. The feeling of your flesh, your breast, under his palm was almost too much. It was so soft, so warm. He could feel your heart beating rapidly under his fingers. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Oh God,” he breathed, his voice hoarse. “This… This feels… Incredible.”

His fingers traced a slow, tentative path over your breast, his touch firm but gentle. He could feel your own heart hammering against his palm, a perfect rhythm. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and full of desire.

“Is… Is this okay?” he breathed, his voice a low, raspy whisper. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“It's okay,” you assured him softly. “I'll tell you if anything. Just… Touch me.”

Matt nodded tightly, the lump in his throat suddenly replaced by a wave of desire and need. He took your words to heart, letting go of any lingering doubt or fear. He allowed himself to really touch you, to move his fingers over your skin, to feel the contours of your body.

His other hand moved up to your other breast, gently kneading it in his palm. “Is… Is this good?” he whispered, his voice almost inaudible over the sound of his own heartbeat. “You feel… So perfect, so soft.”

You let out a shaky breath. “So good.”

Matt felt a sense of power and satisfaction wash over him, emboldening him. He could feel your breath catching in your chest, hear the hitch in your voice. He knew he was doing something right, something that made you feel good. He continued to caress you, his touch becoming more confident, more sure of itself.

His breath felt hot and heavy, his heart hammering against his ribcage. “Can I… Can I kiss these, too?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.

You felt a sudden rush of so much love for this boy. “Of course. Anything you want.”

Matt's heart soared at your permission, at the way you were giving yourself to him so completely. You were so wonderful, so understanding. He leaned forward, his lips coming to rest on your breast, his tongue darting out to taste your skin. He was gentle at first, his touch light and tentative. But then he began to kiss you more firmly, more hungrily.

And then, a moan of his name escaped your lips.

Matt's heart leaped at the sound of your moan, the way you said his name. It was like music to his ears. He pulled back slightly, looking up at you with a mixture of awe and desire.

“Did… Did I do something right?” he asked, his voice breathless and shaky. “The way you said my name… It sounded… It sounded like it felt good, like you liked it.”

“You're doing… Incredible,” you whispered breathlessly.

Matt felt a surge of pride and satisfaction coursing through him. He couldn't believe this was actually happening, that he was pleasuring this incredible woman, making you feel this way. But the knowledge that he was pleasing you, making you moan and breathless, only fueled his own desire, his own need for you.

He continued to kiss you, his mouth moving across your chest, his tongue darting out to taste your skin. “More,” he murmured, his voice low and ragged. “Can I… Can I do more?”

“Anything.”

Matt felt a wave of heat and adrenaline wash over him at your word, your permission. Anything? The possibilities, the desires, raced through his mind. He wanted to explore you, to touch you, to make you feel things you'd never felt before.

His mouth moved down your body, his tongue tracing a path down your sternum, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along your stomach. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and full of need. “Can I… Can I taste you?”

You pulled yourself up on your elbows to look at him. He looked so pretty, looking up at you from between your thighs. But it was his first time, and you wanted to make it special do him. “Are you sure? I want it to be about you. You don't have to…”

Matt paused, looking up at you. Your concern for him, your consideration, made his heart swell. He could feel your gaze on him, warm and gentle. He knew you would never force him to do something he wasn't ready for. But he could also feel his own desire burning beneath the surface.

He nodded, his voice steady and sure. “I'm sure,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving yours. “I… I want to. I want to taste you. I want to please you… If you're okay with that.”

You nodded shakily, before bunching up the fabric of your skirt in your hands, pulling it down and revealing your little lacy panties.

Matt's eyes widened at the sight before him. Your panties were a beautiful lace, delicate and feminine. He could feel his mouth go dry, his heart quickening in his chest. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with an almost reverent awe.

His hands tentatively moved up from your thighs, tracing gentle patterns on your bare skin as they crept closer to your panties. “You're so beautiful,” he breathed, his voice laced with need and desire.

He leaned forward, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. His hands were still tracing feather-light patterns on your thighs, but he was now just millimeters away from your underwear. His heart was hammering, his mind a cacophony of emotions and sensations. “May I… May I touch you there?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.

“Please,” you whispered breathlessly, your chest already heaving.

Matt didn't need to be told twice. With a mixture of nerves and confidence, he let his fingers graze across the fabric of your panties, just touching the soft material. He could feel the heat radiating from you, the moisture already seeping through. He swallowed hard, his own body responding to the feel of you.

His gaze flicked up to your eyes momentarily, seeking reassurance, before returning to his task. “Is… Is this right?” he whispered, his voice a little shaky.

“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly. “Perfect.”

Matt felt a rush of relief and satisfaction at your words. He was doing well, making you feel good. He continued to touch you, to move his fingers across the fabric of your panties, feeling the heat and the dampness beneath.

As his touch grew more confident, more assured, he found himself getting more and more excited. His own breathing grew shaky, his heart racing. “Can… Can I do more?” he breathed, his voice slightly hoarse.

“Whatever you want,” you mewled. “I'll tell you if anything.”

Matt's heart fluttered at your response. The trust, the permission, it was almost too good to be true. He looked up at you, his eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation. But all he found was love, desire, and a willingness to explore.

He took a breath, trying to steady himself. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice a little shaky. He moved his fingers down to the edge of your panties, toying with the thin strip of fabric. “I… I want to touch you without these in the way…”

He paused, waiting for your permission. He was already so close, already feeling the heat and dampness of your through the thin fabric, but he wouldn't do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with desire but laced with the need for your approval.

You nodded. “Do whatever you want.”

Matt felt a shudder run through him at your words. Your permission, your trust in him, it was like fuel for the fire that was burning within him. He gently pulled at your panties, guiding them down your legs, discarding them on the floor.

The sight of you, bare and fully exposed to him, was almost too much. His breath caught in his throat, and he had to force himself to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed. His fingers itched to touch you, to feel the smoothness and heat of your skin, but he waited, looking up for your nod of approval.

When you gave it, he moved quickly. His fingers traced a path up your thighs, moving closer and closer to your core. His own breathing was ragged, his heart pounding in his chest, and he struggled to keep his hands from shaking as they got closer and closer to the most intimate part.

His fingers grazed over your skin, feeling the heat radiating off of you. He could feel the wetness there, the evidence of your arousal, and he couldn't help but shudder. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and hungry, his tongue flicking out to moisten his suddenly dry lips.

“You're… You're so wet,” he whispered, the words barely escaping his lips.

Your breath hitched. “Only for you.”

His heart leaped at hearing your words, at the idea that he was the only cause of your arousal. He could feel the power and the responsibility that came with it, and it only stoked the fire within him.

His fingers were now tracing gentle circles around your entrance, his touch light and tentative. He couldn't believe he was doing this, touching you this way. “Can… Can I… Can I put a finger inside?” he asked, his voice shaky.

“Yeah,” you whispered shakily. “Please.”

Matt could feel his breath catch in his chest at your words, at the desire in your voice. His whole body was trembling, almost overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment. He nodded, swallowing hard, his eyes fixed on you.

He gently, carefully, eased a single finger inside, a choked gasp escaping his lips as he felt your warmth and wetness around him. As he moved his finger, You suddenly let out a gasp.

Matt was instantly worried, his finger freezing in place. “Did… Did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice full of concern. He looked up at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.

“N-No, it's just…” Your face flushed. “Your fingers are longer than what I'm used to.”

Matt felt a sudden rush of pride at your words, his chest swelling. He had to admit, he'd always been a bit self-conscious about his long thin fingers. But the idea that they were causing her pleasure, that they were giving her a feeling you weren’t used to, that felt incredible.

He curled his finger slightly, exploring your depth. “Is… Is this okay…?”

Your breath hitched as he reached that one spot, and you almost screamed out loud. “Oh my…”

Matt was surprised by your reaction, the sound you made nearly sending him over the edge. But he was determined to make you feel good, to make you feel better than you'd ever felt before.

He kept his finger where it was, gently applying pressure to that one spot, a smirk on his face. “Is this the right spot, hm?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Matt,” you mumbled in pleasure.

Matt couldn't help but smile at your reaction, at the way you responded to his touch. He couldn't believe he was doing this to you, causing you to feel these things. And he couldn't resist the urge to tease you a little bit.

“Is that a yes?” he asked, his voice low and dripping with barely restrained desire.

“Add a second finger,” you instructed him softly. “And try to move them, curling them to hit that spot.”

At your instructions, Matt felt another wave of arousal wash over him. You were telling him what to do. You were guiding him, showing him how to please you. It was a new experience, but one he was more than happy to explore.

He obeyed, slowly adding a second finger to the first. The feeling was tighter, but also warmer. He began to move his fingers, just as you'd told him to.

The angle was a little clumsy at first, but then he felt that one spot, and he applied gentle pressure, curling his fingers at just the right angle. “Like…” he started, his voice a little breathless. “… like this?”

“Oh fuck…” you moaned, your back arching a little in pleasure.

Matt found himself breathing harder at the sight of you arching your back, at the way you were responding to his touch. He knew he was doing something right, and it only fueled his desire to please you more, to make you feel even better.

“Is… Is this good?” he asked, his voice a little shaky. “Does this feel good?”

“So good, fuck, so good…”

Matt's heart was racing, his breath coming in heavy pants. He loved hearing your praise, and the way you reacted to his touch. It was something he'd never felt before, and he wanted more, wanted to make you feel even better.

He kept his fingers moving and applying pressure, his gaze darting up to your face, watching your expressions. “I want you… I want you to feel… To feel so good,” he murmured, his voice a mixture of breathless and earnest.

Your noises of pleasure, your arches, and your moans, it was all driving him wild. He wanted to make you fall apart, to make you forget everything but him and whatever he was doing to you.

“You… You want to try to use your mouth?” you asked breathlessly in between the moans.

Matt's heart quickened at your request. He'd wanted to do that, too, but he hadn't been sure if you'd be okay with it. But now that you'd asked, he was more than happy to comply.

“Yes,” he responded, his voice hoarse with desire. “I… I want to. I want to taste you, too.”

He gently withdrew his fingers and slowly moved further down your body, his heart thudding in his chest. He settled between your legs, looking up at you as his breath came in hot, uneven pants against you.

As he tasted you, as he felt you against his lips, his tongue, his mind was overwhelmed. He hadn't expected this, but it was better than he'd ever imagined. You tasted sweet and tangy, and it only spurred him on.

He forgot about feeling out of his depth, he forgot about potential mistakes or awkward moments. All he wanted to do was pleasure you, to make you feel good. His tongue moved and explored, and his eyes fluttered up at you. He'd never seen you so undone, so lost in pleasure, and the knowledge that he was causing it only deepened his desire to please you more.

“God, you're so good at that,” you breathed out shakily.

Matt felt a wave of pride and pleasure wash over him at your words. He continued, his tongue moving over you, his lips applying gentle suction. Hearing your approval, feeling you respond beneath him, was intoxicating. But he was relentless, determined to bring you to the brink, to make you lose control completely.

His hands moved up, gently caressing your thighs and stomach, seeking to give you even more pleasure. He wanted you to feel good, to feel loved, to feel worshipped.

And eventually, your moans got even louder as you released on his mouth, his name on your lips like a prayer. Matt could feel your body shaking, could hear your voice as you cried out his name. It was a moment he knew he'd never forget, a moment that would be ingrained in his memory forever.

He slowly withdrew, crawling back up beside you. He couldn't seem to find his voice, his heart still hammering in his chest.

He was a little amazed at himself, too, he had to admit. He hadn't been entirely sure what he was doing, but he'd just seemed to know. He'd found a way to bring you pleasure, to send you over the edge, to make you sing his name like a song.

He found his voice again, his voice low, rough. “Was that… Was that good for you? Was I okay?” His heart was still beating fast, his body thrumming with a mix of adrenaline and pleasure.

“God, you're… You're unreal,” you panted out.

Matt couldn't help but smile at your words, the praise fueling his ego. “I… I am?” he asked, unable to hide the slight tone of smugness in his voice. He knew he should feel more humbled, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.

He reached out, gently tracing random patterns on your bare stomach as you caught your breath. “I just… I wanted to make you feel good,” he said softly.

When you came down from your high, you sat up to rest their foreheads against each other. “Are you sure you're ready?”

Matt's heart raced as you asked the question, his mind suddenly flooded with thoughts and worries. Was he ready? He had wanted this, more than anything, but now that the moment was here, he felt a twinge of fear.

He looked into your eyes, searching for reassurance. But all he saw was love, desire, and a willingness to wait if he wasn't ready yet.

He nodded, taking a shaky breath. “Yes,” he murmured. “I'm ready.”

In response, you locked their lips in a passionate kiss, one full of love.

Matt responded eagerly, his body pressing against yours as their mouths met in a passionate kiss. Every thought, every fear, was pushed aside in that moment. All that mattered was you, your breath, your lips, your bodies.

His hands found their way into your hair, tangling in the soft strands, holding you close. He poured all of his feelings, all of his desires into the kiss, his heart hammering in his chest.

Matt's breath caught in his throat as he felt your fingers slide under the waistband of his boxers, the sensation causing a shudder to run through his body. He'd been on edge ever since you'd started, his desire already at a fever pitch. But your touch, your gentle caress, only served to drive him wild.

He pulled back from the kiss to murmur against your mouth. “Please…” he whispered, his voice ragged and pleading. “Please, don't tease me anymore. I can't take it.”

You let out a shaky groan before pulling his boxers down, seeing him fully exposed for the first time. You took a moment to really take him in, your eyes full of awe and love.

Matt's cheeks burned under your gaze, feeling suddenly very exposed and vulnerable. He'd never been looked at this way before, never felt this vulnerable. But he also felt a wave of affection at the awe and love he saw in your eyes.

He met your gaze, his own eyes full of a mixture of desire and trepidation. “Is… Is it okay?” he asked softly, his voice betraying a hint of insecurity.

“You're so beautiful,” you praised breathlessly. “So perfect.”

Matt felt his heart soar at your words, the insecurities fading away and being replaced with a wave of intense love. No one had ever called him beautiful before, and certainly not perfect. He'd always felt a bit too thin, too gangly, too nerdy. But to you, he was beautiful, perfect.

He drew in a shaky breath, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “So are you,” he murmured. “Perfect, I mean.”

You reached to gently caress his cheek. “Sit up against the headboard for me.”

At your request, Matt obeyed, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. He felt bare and exposed, but he trusted you and knew that you wouldn't do anything to make him feel uncomfortable.

His gaze met yours, his heart beating fast in his chest. “Like this?” he asked, his voice a little breathless.

“Perfect,” you praised before straddling his lap once again.

Matt's breath caught in his throat as you straddled him, your body pressing against his in all the right places. His hands found your hips, his fingers gently gripping them, as if he needed something to anchor himself.

His eyes roamed over your body, appreciating every curve and contour, before coming back up to meet your gaze. “You… You look amazing,” he breathed, his voice a little huskier than usual.

The corner of your lips went up as you rested your forehead against his, just looking into his eyes for a few moments. You were so close now, the heat and electricity between them palpable. Matt found himself getting lost in your eyes, feeling a sense of calm and understanding wash over him. He could feel your breath against his lips, your body pressed against his, and it was almost too much to bear.

He reached up a hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers feather-light against your skin. “I… I love you,” he whispered, the words coming out almost involuntarily.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, and your eyes reflected just how much.

Matt felt your words wash over him, the depth and sincerity of your love sending a shiver down his spine. He'd always known you loved him, but hearing you say it, seeing it in your eyes… It was as if all his fears and doubts vanished completely.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in, letting himself bask in your love. Then, his eyes opened again, his gaze intense, and he wrapped his arms more securely around your waist. “Show me,” he whispered. “Show me how much you love me.”

“You ready?” you made sure quietly.

Matt felt a flutter of nerves mix with the desire he was feeling, but he nodded, his hands gripping your hips a little tighter. “Yes,” he breathed in response, his voice a little shaky. “I… I'm ready.”

“If anything… Just tell me, and we can stop,” you promised.

Matt nodded again, appreciating your thoughtfulness. “I will,” he assured you. “But please… Please don't stop unless I say so.”

He drew you closer, his hands sliding up to your back, gently tracing the line of your spine. “I… I want this. I want you,” he murmured, his voice a low, earnest plea.

Matt shivered slightly as your hand moved over his chest, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. His heart was beating hard, his breath coming in shaky gasps. He'd never felt this alive before, this on edge, this desperate for your touch.

His eyes tracked your hand as it moved, a small, helpless noise escaping his lips. He knew what was coming, and he was aching for it.

Finally, your hand wrapped around him, giving him a few slow pumps. Your touch was like a spark to a flame, igniting a fire within him that he hadn't known was possible. He groaned, his head falling back against the headboard, his eyes squeezing shut as the sensations washed over him.

His hips involuntarily arched into your touch, his hands gripping your hips a little tighter.

“Oh… Oh God, that feels…” he gasped, his voice choked. “That feels so good,” he managed to stutter out, his words a raw expression of pleasure.

The feeling of your hand on him was overwhelming, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. He could feel his body tensing and relaxing instinctively.

You positioned yourself above him, and you looked him in the eyes as if to ask for one last permission.

Matt's heart thudded in his chest as he looked into your eyes. He knew what was about to happen, and he wanted it, more than anything. He didn't want you to stop, he wanted you, all of you.

He nodded, his voice unsteady as he spoke. “Please,” he whispered, his breath ragged. “Please, don't stop.”

And then, you slowly started to sink down. The sensation was almost too much for Matt. It was like a wave of pleasure and heat overwhelming his entire body. He let out a low, guttural moan as you slowly sank down, inch by agonizing inch.

He clung to you, his hands gripping your hips with an almost bruising force. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips parted as he panted for breath. “Oh… Oh God,” he managed to say, the words a messy, incoherent jumble.

His mind was reeling, every thought driven out by the sheer intensity of the feeling. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, like nothing he could have imagined. You were warm, tight, and completely surrounding him, and it was everything.

He knew he was probably being too rough, too loud, but he couldn't help it. He was utterly lost in the sensations, losing himself in you. He was yours, totally and completely, and he loved every moment.

As you bottomed out, you rested your hands on his shoulders for support. “You okay, baby?”

Matt was trying to form words, to give some sort of response, but all he could manage was a series of ragged breaths and a nod. He was trying to ground himself, to stay in control, but it was nearly impossible.

He managed to open his eyes, his gaze meeting yours. “I… I'm… I'm okay,” he gasped out, his voice thick with pleasure. “Just… Just give me a second, please.”

You felt incredible around him, almost too good. He needed a moment to adjust, to find some sort of equilibrium, or he knew he'd lose himself completely.

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to steady himself. “You… You feel so… So good," he managed to get out between ragged breaths. He was struggling to find his voice, to express how he was feeling. “Just… Just give me a moment, please…”

“Of course. Take all the time you need,” you whispered, your hand gently caressing his cheek.

Your touch was like a soothing balm on his over-stimulated body. He closed his eyes and leaned into your hand, drawing in a shaky breath. He focused on the feeling of your fingers on his skin, your body surrounding him, anchoring himself to you. Slowly, the overwhelming sensations began to recede, replaced by a calmer, more controlled sense of pleasure.

He opened his eyes again, his gaze meeting yours. “I'm… I'm okay now,” he murmured. “You can... you can move now.”

You leaned in to press your lips against his before slowly starting to move your hips.

The feeling of your lips on his was like a jolt through his system, reigniting the fire that had been momentarily banked. He responded eagerly, his mouth moving against yours, his tongue caressing yours with an urgent need.

And then there was the movement of your hips. It was a gentle, careful circling motion, bringing him closer and closer to oblivion. Matt let out a guttural moan, his hands gripping your hips even tighter.

It was all too much, but he couldn't get enough of it. He felt like he was drowning in you, lost in the sensations of your body, your touch, your scent. He knew he was being loud, almost embarrassingly so, but he couldn't help it. He was completely yours, completely lost in you.

“Does that feel good, baby?” You asked breathlessly.

Matt could barely respond, too lost in the pleasure to string coherent words together. All he could do was nod, his voice choked off by a moan that tore its way from his throat.

He tried to form words, to tell you how good it felt, how incredible you were, but all that came out was a ragged gasp. “Y-yeah,” he managed to stutter out eventually, his voice hoarse. “Feels… Feels so good…”

You pressed their foreheads together before starting to move a little faster, moans escaping your own lips.

The change in speed made Matt's head spin. He felt like he was on the edge of an abyss, his body tensing and coiling with each move of your hips. He was a tangle of sensations, pleasure, need, and love, all swirling together.

He kept his eyes open, locking them with yours. Your moans, your ragged breaths, only amplified the sensations. He knew he was close, too close, but he didn't want it to end.

His hands left your hips, moving up to cradle your face in his hands. He needed to touch you, to feel your skin under his fingers, to hold onto you as he rode the wave of pleasure higher and higher.

“I… I'm close… I'm gonna… Oh God, I'm…”

You understood exactly what he meant, the urgency in his tone clear. Your movements became faster and more purposeful, pushing them both closer to the edge.

“I know, baby,” you whispered, your breath hot against his ear. “I know. Just let go. I've got you.”

Your words sent a shiver down his spine, the mixture of love and reassurance hitting him right in the chest. He wanted to hold on, to make this last as long as possible, but he knew it was impossible. He was on the edge, teetering on the brink of ecstasy.

“Baby…” he gasped, his voice thin and needy. “I… I'm… Oh God, I'm… I'm…”

He couldn't say the words, couldn't form the warning. All he could do was shiver as his body went rigid, waves of pleasure washing over him. He held onto you, his fingers digging into your flesh, as he rode out the aftershocks.

At the sensation of him releasing deep inside of you, you reached your climax as well, your back arching, and you let out a loud cry of his name. He felt you clenching around him, your own release as you cried out his name, and it was too much. He felt like he was being lifted into ecstasy, drowning in the sensations that swamped his body.

His hands moved to wrap around you, holding you close, feeling the tremors run through your body. He buried his face in the curve of your neck, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. “Oh God… Oh God…” he managed to say.

“I… I've never… That was…”

He couldn't complete a sentence, his mind reeling from the intensity of it all. He held onto you, feeling the rapid throb of your heartbeat against his chest, the heat of your skin against his, and the sweat that had gathered on both their bodies.

After You finally caught your breath, you looked at him, still straddling him, as you ran your hand through his hair. “Are you okay, baby?”

Matt was still reeling, his body trembling slightly from the force of his orgasm. He leaned into your touch, his eyes meeting yours.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raw. “I'm… I'm okay. I just… I need a minute. That was… Wow.”

“You were perfect,” you said softly before lifting yourself from him and falling onto the bed next to him.

He chuckled weakly, still struggling to catch his breath. “Perfect, huh? I'm pretty sure I yelled louder than you did. I think the whole neighborhood heard me,” he teased, half-joking and half-not.

You chuckled breathlessly. Matt, however, could only stare in wonder at how his seed was leaking out of you.

Matt couldn't tear his gaze away, his eyes fixed on the sight in front of him. He had never seen anything so intimate, so erotic. Without thinking, he reached out, his fingers tracing the trail of his release dribbling down your skin.

“God, you're so beautiful,” he whispered. “And I… I made a mess of you.”

Your breath hitched as he touched you, still oversensitive, but you didn't protest. He touched you delicately, his touch light and hesitant, as if he was scared to break the fragile moment. His gaze was filled with a mixture of awe and desire, staring at the evidence of what you have just shared.

“You… You look even more beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. “Like I've marked you as mine.”

“I am yours,” you whispered.

The words sent a wave of possessiveness through him. “Mine,” he repeated, his voice almost a possessive growl. “All mine.”

He leaned in, pressing feather-light kisses along your jawline, his hands tracing aimless patterns on your skin. “I don't want anyone else seeing you like this," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “I don't want anyone else touching you like I do. You're mine.”

He continued to mark your skin with kisses, his mouth moving along the length of your neck and down to your collarbone. He wanted to keep you like this forever, covered in his marks, in his scent. He knew he was being selfish, but he didn't care. You were his, and he wanted the world to know it.

You let out a soft sigh, your fingers tangling into his hair.

The feel of your fingers in his hair only served to make him more possessive. He continued to kiss and nip at your skin, leaving a trail of love bites down your neck and chest.

“Mine,” he repeated, his voice almost a mantra. He wanted to keep saying it, as if by repeating it, he could make it more true. “All mine.”

“So… I take that I made your first time good?” you asked, a little jokingly.

Matt chuckled huskily, leaning back just enough to look into your eyes. “Good is an understatement,” he said, his voice still rough with desire. “That was… Mind-blowing. Life-changing.”

He paused, his gaze roaming over your body again, taking in the sight of you covered in his marks. “I think you ruined me for anyone else.”

“Well, I sure hope so,” you murmured before kissing him again.

He responded immediately, his mouth moving against yours with a desperate, needy hunger. He rolled you onto your back, pinning you beneath him, continuing the kiss with a fervor. He didn't want this moment to end, he wanted to revel in the feeling of your body under his, the taste of your mouth, the scent of your skin.

Between kisses, he managed to mutter, “You're the only one. The only one I'll ever need.”

tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re

[cho-aaacho]

Jealousy isn't really your style, is it?

Masterlist

Characters : Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Fushiguro Megumi, and Choso.

Gojo Satoru

He becomes increasingly silent—too silent until you can't detect his emotion. His appetite vanished as waves of jealousy showered on his mind. You don't even notice that at first, thinking he might be tired from work.

However, as the sun goes down to the horizon and is replaced by the moonlight, his smile fades whenever your eyes meet his. He refrains from calling you endearing nicknames, skips the usual sensual morning kiss, and avoids his favorite cookies. When you suggest playing video games, Gojo simply groans and leaves you alone.

What's happening to him? Did you hurt your sweetheart? No. Until the sky falls, you don't have a heart to hurt your sweetheart.

You can't let the stillness linger; you can't leave everything unresolved. It's so hurtful, to be honest. Why would Gojo be so selfish like this? You need to find out what's going on with your little sweetheart.

That night, Gojo stood in his favorite spot within the apartment, drowning in the beautiful goldfish in the aquarium. Golden and yellow, reflected in his eyes like sunflower petals.

He gently tapped his finger on the aquarium's glass, making the whole atmosphere feel so cold. Gojo seemed unusually relaxed, in contrast to the person he once was. 

"I know I might come off as a boring and annoying man. People often say that, and I usually don't care about it at all because I understand it's not important. But when it comes from you—please... I don't want to hear that."

You do not quite understand what he means, but Gojo appears deeply hurt. His azure eyes, his words, his breath, the cologne he uses this time, the way he gazes at you—something feels off and unplaced.

This is the first time you've seen him so blue and so pained that the warmth in his lovely presence is almost undetectable. Everything is gone.

"Hey, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but it hurts me when you smile at other guys. I want you to be mine, and only mine, and no one else. Please don't do that again, because you're irreplaceable. If I lose you, I can't find another like you."

Geto Suguru 

At first, he doesn't show his jealousy because Geto is the sweetest.

However, there comes a moment when he becomes more affectionate—increased physical touch, frequent kisses, hugs, showering you with praise, texting you almost every hour.

And when he does these things, he always leaves a sarcastic comment like, "I'm a better man, aren't I?" or "Can you see how much I care about you more than anyone else?"

and "I hope you're not blind enough to understand my affection."

also "I know you're not stupid enough to leave me alone. Because I hate being a loner."

It's somewhat annoying because Geto rarely behaves like this. It's simply... so strange, leaving you confused about whether it's a prank by the twins, if something horrible has hit him, or maybe he is too much into reading a weird romantic novel.

That morning, when you are sleeping on his lap, feeling his love, warmth, and kindness, he delicately traces his fingertips across your cheeks, down to your jawline, then meanders to your nose, pinching it gently, leaving a small chuckle before circling back to playfully tease the contour of your lips.

He leaned closer, sealing a gentle kiss on the nose tip and moving before grazing your lips with a small nibble. "Did Satoru ever kiss you like this? I doubt he has done this to you."

Your eyes fluttered open, confusion etching your expression. "What do you mean, Suguru-kun?"

He sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed, cutie. I may not match Satoru's strength, but I'm not stupid. What were you up to with him last week? You seemed quite charmed with him, didn't you?"

He added. "Should I end both of you, so he can't have you and you can't have him? But I lack the heart to harm you, sweet love. Stop talking with that man. Because I hate sharing my love with someone else."

Nanami Kento

A tough man, he doesn't even realize if jealousy is starting to invade him; perhaps you might label it as denial. 

He puts on a facade that everything is fine, brushing off any concerns by assuming them to be mere imagination or work-induced stress.

No, you didn't cheat or talk with another man. You're always a nice woman to Nanami Kento, and of course, never in your wildest dreams will you hurt your man. 

However, a weird sensation starts to trouble him the next day when his coworkers engage in silly gossip about him and you. 

Whispers float behind him, dripping with a sarcastic tone like, "How could a good woman like her date someone like Nanami-san? He's so boring."

and someone chimes in. "Yeah, I heard she dumped Gojo-san and went with him; why does she think like that?"

From that moment onward, everything feels upside down.

Each day, each time, every time he sees your face, catches your gaze, and hears your voice echoing in his ears, all of these hurt him. 

He feels like he doesn't deserve you and thinks that perhaps you can find another guy, someone special, someplace that would make you safe and happy, someone who could make you feel at home whenever you run to them. 

And that man is not me.

"I realize I might not be as caring as other men, or perhaps I come off as too boring for someone like you. Honestly, I don't wish for your kindness to be shared with anyone else—even a fleeting smile from you stirs a deep ache within me. Maybe it's an obsession, but if you allow me to share my jealousy, I don't want you to meet that guy, Gojo Satoru. For heaven's sake, I fear losing all control and ending up hurting you. I love you." 

Fushiguro Megumi

Honestly, his anger management is the worst. There are scenes when he appears calm, collected, and cute, but, again, it's merely a facade he is creating, especially in your presence. 

When the flames of jealousy shower on Megumi, flirting with his life, everything transforms into a hellish field.

He loses his temper and becomes easily offended whenever Yuuji attempts to engage in conversation with him, roasting everyone in sight. The situation continues until Maki beats him and tells him how annoying he is.

He has a terrible urge to throw punches at everyone, driven by the need to tell them that you belong to him. He needs to make it clear that you're already committed to someone else and that your heart is sealed with Fushiguro Megumi. Only with that man and no one else.

His intention is not just to show his obsession but also to dissuade others from bothering both of you. He longs to compel them to kneel, satisfying his fleeting sense of pride.

It's pretty hilarious because whenever Gojo catches wind of it, he bursts into laughter and playfully teases Megumi all day. Well, it's natural for anyone to have jealousy within them, but... doesn't Megumi take it a bit too far?

You've observed this pattern and tried to convince your dear boyfriend that everything around him is just his imagination. He shouldn't be worrying, and he just hurts himself by treating people like that.

Yet, Megumi is Megumi.

"I don't think I'm overreacting to this. When I'm upset, I express it openly. It's frustrating when people assume I'm obsessed with you—I'm not. I just don't want you to get involved with someone who isn't worth it for you. I fear you'll end up hurt. You can choose me; I can prove not only to you but to everyone that I am the one who truly deserves you."

Choso

Choso isn't typically the jealous type, but when he notices a certain closeness between you and his brothers, everything changes. 

He genuinely cares for his brothers, going to great lengths to ensure their happiness and love. He values the bond you share with his brothers and cherishes the love and affection you have for each other.

However...

It's hard for him to put it into words. Everything is stuck in his throat and sealed inside his head. 

Every time he sees you with his brothers blossoming an indescribable feeling within him, it's a burning sensation that's hard to bear. The flame is starting to burn him alive.

The way you share meals with them or laugh at their jokes—all of these irritate him to the point that they make his heart beat so fast. Choso is aware that these emotions are too complicated; he can't hate his brothers, but the heart has a way of contradicting logic. 

How could God put love in his heart?

He fondly recalls the first snow you experienced together, the gentle embrace of summer against his skin, and the golden glow of spring's sun. 

But he still wonders when he falls in love with you. Maybe since the first time he met you? Or else?

"I find immense joy in sharing my time and days with you. My brothers seem to love you as well. Everything about you is beautiful, and I cherish the moments we share. I fear losing you and our precious time; that's why I act this way when you're with them. I want to be the one you choose."

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[rc-writes]

𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 | 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢

pairings: spencer reid x bau!reader

warnings: reader has a headache due to accidentally missing lunch

a/n: one more little blurb i've written due to my criminal minds rewatch journey! as of now i unfortunately have no other little blurbs written so i don't want you guys to think this is me suddenly being active a lot again. like i said in my penelope blurb i make no promises of me posting regularly again, but i definitely want/hope to write more! anyways, this blurb is completely inspired by me forgetting food exists for half a day a few weeks ago and getting a massive headache due to it :/ advice of the day kids, eating is important! lol

You and JJ had been on reading files duty for the day which meant being held up in the tiny room the local police station had set up for the team. Usually, it was Garcia who was in charge of digging through the files for potential suspects, but the station was severely behind on digitizing their files so manual reading was what had to be done.

As the day went on you began to have the world's most annoying headache. It wasn't too debilitating that you couldn't push through it to get through the last few files however, so you continued your reading. That was until you also began to feel a wave of exhaustion wash over you suddenly.

The most you had done all day was walk from one side of the table to the evidence board across the small room, so you weren't sure why you were suddenly on the verge of nodding off. If you were out conducting interviews or going over the crime scenes like you usually did, then maybe that would explain some tiredness, but that wasn't the case today.

"Hey, we're back!" Spencer's sudden voice filling the room made you jump out of your thoughts.

"Hi." You replied back with a soft smile, trying to mask the tiredness. "We managed to narrow the suspect pool to five people."

"Garcia is already on searching for anything that might not be in any of these files." JJ added from her spot at the table.

"Hard to believe anything is not in all these files." You joked, laughing. Mid-laugh your voice seemed to falter, the headache deciding to grow stronger at the sudden higher noise level of the room. You tried to mask your voice fading by slowly turning to face the board again, trying your best to massage your forehead a little.

"Hey are you alright?" Spencer asked as he walked closer to you.

"Yeah, yeah." You lied, turning to face him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just that I noticed your movements seem to be a bit sluggish. Not- not to say that's a problem considering you've been cooped up in here all day. But also, I noticed you're rubbing circles into your forehead which might be a sign of a headache. Which is actually a good thing to do when you have one because researchers say-" Spencer trailed off when he noticed you bringing your hand up again to your forehead. "Sorry, that's not the point. Are you okay?"

"I've been a little tired and have a minor headache. Nothing too bad, don't worry." You admitted, no point in trying to lie anymore. "I'm not sure why though. It's not like I've done much moving around all day, just flipping through piles of paper." You gestured to the table. It was then that you noticed JJ had left you two to be alone. "But I suppose just sitting here all day could be exactly the reason." 

"It is proven that little movement can have just as much effect as too much movement on the body." Spencer agreed. "To add to that, whatever you ate for lunch today could also have an effect as well."

Spencer then began to ramble about the importance of what kind of food you need to eat for which meal, but you didn't hear much as your own thoughts were racing.

A look of slight horror crossed your face. "Oh god, I didn't even realize I skipped lunch completely."

"What?"

"Yeah, I got so caught up in reading over the suspect files that I didn't want to leave when everyone else went to go get something from the break room. Thought I'd wait until I got done reading this one file, but I must have gotten too distracted and completely forgot to ever actually get up."

"Honey, no wonder you're tired and have a headache then." He reached for your hands. "You haven't eaten since we had breakfast together at the hotel." 

You held onto his hands back. "Yeah, and it wasn't exactly a big breakfast either." You both laughed. "I guess a big dinner is in my future then."

Spencer nodded, smiling. His eyes seemed to light up suddenly, you assumed some sort of idea popped into his head. He then immediately headed to the door.

"Where are you going?"

Spencer turned, walking backwards out the room. "To find food! Anything! You need to eat pronto." He bumped into the doorframe before walking completely out the room. From your small frame of vision out the doorway you saw he also nearly bumped into one of the local police officers as he was too focused to notice other people. 

You giggled to yourself at his new sudden mission to find you food. He really would do anything at the drop of a hat for you and you had no idea what you ever did to deserve it. But then you thought about how you'd do the exact same for him and he's said before he didn't deserve someone like you. It truly was a never-ending cycle of caring between you two. 

[serpentandlily]

Untouchable VIII - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister!Reader

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court’s spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he’d eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on—with Elain, your brother’s mate’s sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that—more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst angst angst

a/n: Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to update this story. I got major writer's block for it :(( This chapter is short but I wanted to get something out to you guys. We're almost at the end though! One more part after this and then an epilogue <3 Thank you guys for all the kind words/support! I don't have a lot of free time so I'm shit at replying to your comments/asks but I promise I read them all and they make me so happy! Hope you enjoy!

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part VIII

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You stumbled backwards, away from the evil sorcerer who was hovering above the lake. You frantically looked at Cedric. “Please, Cedric, what is this?”

He didn’t even look your way. You kept stumbling back until you knocked into the hard chest of one of the guards. He grabbed you by the upper arms, locking you in place despite your attempts to wiggle free.

“I brought you the girl,” Cedric said to Koschei. “Now it’s time to uphold your part of the deal.”

You twisted to look up at the guard. “Deal? What deal is he talking about?”

But the guard ignored you too. 

Koschei waved a dismissive hand at Cedric, his eyes still lingering on you as if you were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. "Yes, yes. You will have my support to overthrow your father."

"I need more than just your word," Cedric grumbled. "I'm not handing over the girl until you make a bargain with me." 

Koschei laughed under his breath. "You wish to make a bargain with me?" 

While the sorcerer's attention was elsewhere, you realized this might be your one and only chance to break free. 

You threw your cuffed arms up around the head of the guard holding you in place and bucked forward as hard as you could, effectively tossing him over you and onto the muddy ground. A move Azriel had taught you once. 

You ignored the shouts and yells as you darted off towards the wooded area that surrounded the lake. You couldn't winnow away, not while the faebane handcuffs were still on you. But maybe you could run and hide, buying yourself some time to think of an actual plan to escape. 

You darted into the trees, forcing yourself to run as fast as you could. The air was cold, making it hard to breathe but you pushed yourself forward. You could hear the pounding of feet running behind you. You chanced a glance over your shoulder to see the three guards chasing you but no Cedric or Koschei. 

One of the guards winnowed into the clearing in front of you, causing you to scream as you ran straight into him, knocking both of you on the ground. You rolled off him before he could grab you and winnow you away, pushing yourself to your feet. The guard snarled, getting off the ground faster than you considering his hands were free. 

"Don't you run," he growled at you. 

You took a step back. Another.

Rhysand! Help!

You screamed and screamed for your brother in your head, even though you knew he wouldn't be able to hear you from this distance. You were fucked. 

"My brother will come for you if you don't let me go," you hissed at the guards, keeping out of their reach. They were circling you like they were predators who had just found dinner. 

One of the guards scoffed. "With Koschei on our side, your brother won't be able to do anything to us."

"Koschei is offering his support to Cedric to kill the King," you shouted back. "Not to help Vallahan fight against the Night Court and its allies once my brother has realized what you've done!" 

That seemed to make the guards pause for a second, the three of them exchanging glances as if now just realizing how stupid the Prince's plan was. Mor knew you were going to visit Cedric. That's where they'd look for you first once they didn't hear from you. And you knew your brother would rain hellfire down on the Prince's territory to get you back. 

Suddenly a loud noise cracked in the air like two boulders smashing against each other, causing the ground to rumble. You fell, your legs collapsing, as three people winnowed into the clearing. You let out a cry of relief. Your brother stood in his fighting leathers, looking ready to murder with Cassian by his side. But it was Azriel who made you falter.

You had never seen him look as angry as he did now—it almost spiked fear in you despite knowing none of it was directed in your way. He looked feral, unhinged. 

The three guards around you were misted by your brother before you could even blink. Their blood rained down on you, still slightly warm. You gagged, rolling over and trying to push yourself to your feet.

“Y/N!”

You heard your brother shout but his warning came too late. 

You felt someone grab you by your hair, lifting you off the floor. You let out a cry of pain, your cuffed hands rising to grab the attacker by their wrist to get some of the pressure off your scalp. You were turned forward to face your brother and the two Illyrians just as the cold metal of a dagger was placed against your throat.

“Don’t move,” Cedric ordered and you realized it was him who had you in his grasp. 

“Get your hands off of her,” Azriel growled. It was dark and full of primal rage. You knew Cedric felt it by the way his body shuddered in response but he held his ground. 

“I don’t think so, shadowsinger,” Cedric hissed.

Azriel’s shadows poised around him like venomous snakes ready to attack. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your nerves on fire. But still, the pain of seeing Azriel fought its way through despite the dire circumstances. The image of him and Elain together was enough to almost fold you into Cedric’s embrace. 

Perhaps death would be a mercy compared to the anguish building in your chest. 

You focused on your brother instead. His violet eyes were hardened with rage, his entire body tense. “Let my sister go, you bastard, and I’ll consider making your death swift and painless.”

Cedric chuckled, his hand in your hair tightening causing you to whimper at the sharp pain. Azriel took a step forward at the noise but came to a halt, his eyes drifting to the area above your head. 

You felt it then, that dark presence. The foreboding. You knew Koshcei was in the clearing now. Could feel his horrid magic in the air. This was a powerful death god sorcerer and despite your brother being the most powerful High Lord, he was no match with a God. None of them would be. 

“Kill them,” Cedric demanded as he too realized Koschei was here.

But the death god did no such thing. Instead, you felt his darkness wrap around you, encompassing you into its hold. You let out a cry of fear, calling out for your brother. 

“The girl belongs to me now,” Koschei said. “Leave and never return or I will do more than just keep her as a little pet.”

“Why do you want her?” Rhysand switched into his diplomatic role, realizing a fight would not be won here today. “Whatever you need her for, I’m certain I can do it all the same. Better, even.” 

He was…He was offering himself over to the sorcerer in place of you?

“No, Rhys,” you cried out. “Just go!”

But you were ignored. 

“Unfortunately,” Koschei drawled. “I do not have a taste for males otherwise I would take you up on your offer. But your sister will do just fine. There is nothing you can give me for her. I don’t think you even realized what a prize she was—what sort of power she holds.” 

“Anything,” Rhys begged. “Please, I will give you anything. You want my armies, you can have them. You want my court, take it! Just give her back. Please.”  

You couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth. Rhys would never give up his power, would never give away his court and his people. But here he was, offering up all he had for you. You had caused this. You had made the mistake of running away to Cedric. This was all your fault.

“Get him out of here!” you shouted to Cassian and Azriel. 

All you could think about was your brother’s lovesick bargain with Feyre, of his death leading to hers, of Nyx left with no parents. No…Rhys needed to get out of here before things got worse. You tried to convey your thoughts to the other two Illyrians with a single look. Cassian gave you a dip of the head in understanding, evidently having the same thoughts.

Azriel wouldn’t look at you, his rage filled eyes focused on the sorcerer that held you. 

“Anything,” Rhys pleaded again, surging forward. But Cassian gripped him by the shoulders, holding him back. “I’ll give you anything.”

Your eyes darted between the three of them. At Cassian’s look of despair and uncertainty, Rhy’s pleading face and Azriel….Azriel who was shrouded in his shadows, who circled him in a frenzy—his eyes darkened, his lips twisted in a snarl. He took another step forward. 

“Let her go,” he growled. You swore the birds in the clearing took off fluttering, as if they knew the sort of darkness that was coming. But Koschei let out a small noise of understanding before he chuckled—an awful noise. 

“What an interesting turn of events,” Koschei purred, his grip on you tightening. 

“Kill them,” Cedric hissed, slight panic in his eyes. If Koschei left him behind, you knew your brother would tear him to pieces. 

Koschei chuckled again, as if realizing the same thing. In the end, he would get what he wanted without having to follow through on his half of the bargain, not if Cedric was dead. 

“Say goodbye to your brother,” Koschei laughed in your ear. “And your lover and friend. You’ll never see them again.” 

“I’m sorry, Rhys,” you cried. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

Rhys fell to his knees, Cassian still holding him back with his lips pressed in a thin line. You felt Koschei’s shadows wrapping you up, spreading up your legs. Time was running out. Azriel stepped closer with another growl.

“I will kill you for this,” he promised, his eyes shifting from Cedric to the sorcerer. “Let her go!”

Your voice caught in your throat. All the words you wished to say to him with it. You loved him, still, even after knowing these past few months had all been a lie. Your heart was broken, stomped on, discarded by the only one you had ever given it to—but you loved him. You always would. 

He finally looked at you, his hazel eyes so full of rage but you saw it then, the fear. 

“Take me,” Azriel shouted. “Take me instead!”

Koschei laughed again. “Oh, but it is much more fun this way, shadowsinger.” 

His shadows spread over your torso, up your neck, nearly choking you. Tears ran down your face; you were gasping for air. You took one more look at Azriel. One more look at the male you loved with all your heart. One last look because you knew you’d never see him again.

Azriel met your gaze—fear and anguish written all over his face. And just as the shadows began to darken your vision, something snapped into place. Something gold and bright. A thread that extended from your chest and speared right into the shadowsinger. A mating bond. 

Azriel’s grip his chest, his eyes wide, as he stumbled back a step. You watched him realize it at the same time as you. Something burned on your hip and you realized you were feeling Azriel’s bargain tattoo dissipating. He screamed your name as Koschei laughed one more time, swallowing you in his shadows.

Azriel’s pained roar shook the trees of the forest around them and echoed all the way to the small cabin on the lake, where you were thrown to the hard flooring, still shackled and trembling. 

Koschei stood over you, his face a painted picture of glee and lust. He tsked, circling around your weeping form. Your thoughts were filled with Azriel. With your mate. You could feel his horror, his rage, his anguish, all through the bond. 

“Did you know,” Koschei purred, “that Cedric and his family are quite exceptional at illusions? The magic runs in their family.”

You were crying, panting—barely able to hear his words. 

“No, I suppose you didn’t,” Koschei laughed. “Those images of you walking in on your mate with that little fawn were never real, my dear. You fell for Cedric’s tricks and now you’re here. You’ll never see your mate again.”

Those images of you walking in on your mate with that little fawn were never real, my dear.

You hunched over, falling limp against the floor as sobs racked your body. You had lost everything, everything, tricked by that stupid Prince. You couldn’t breath, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything except the crushing weight of your despair.

 And all you could hear were those final words. 

Over and over and over again.

You’ll never see your mate again.

You’ll never see your mate again.

You’ll never see your mate again.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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[aethelwyneleigh27]

The Type of BF/GF Cod Characters Would Be (Scenario)

You know, like that one thing circling around TikTok

Characters Included: John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Valeria Garza, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Keegan P. Russ, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Nikolai Belinski, Philip Graves.

And yes I'm aware that some have repeated characters, some fit more than one

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

A/n: I'm honestly on a roll and I've had my morning coffee so I'll start cracking, I have been trying to post more recently since it's October and I didn't really partake in the tober fests so I thought posting more might be good. Just me or are biker fucking hot? Yeah it's probs my thing for masked men.

Disclaimers/Warnings: OOC??

Doberman Boyfriend/Girlfriend whose first instinct was to protect you when you officially became theirs, initially they were always protective in subtle ways, subtle ways that also assert dominance over others. Little things like having a hand on your lower back or gently gripping your waist to move you. Their claimed spot is behind you, since they always find it to work when intimidating others and making sure no one even glances at you the wrong way. Might seem like they're intimidating but to you it's a different story, they're sweeter, more docile? Just far more affectionate and you basically have them wrapped around your finger. Switches in the bedroom but dom leaning, can be subs if you want them to be.

Characters: John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Valeria Garza, König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Keegan P. Russ, Philip Graves.

Golden Retriever Boyfriend/Girlfriend who are so loyal to the bone, they're fun and oftentimes a little himbo-ish? Quality is the best spent with you, kind of follows you around all the time. They're very clingy but do respect your personal space if you aren't in the mood, though that's what you love about them isn't it? That's they're insistent and wouldn't give up on you no matter what. Also love doing things for you (acts of service) and lives for it when you praise them. Switches in the bedroom, sub leaning.

Characters: John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Alex Keller, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Gary "Roach" Sanderson.

Tabby cat Boyfriend/Girlfriend whose chill around others but absolutely craves your affection behind closed doors. The kind of people sometimes randomly show affection in front of others even if they HATE pda. The kind of people who have been traumatized yet still affectionate as can be, everyone loves them for being down to earth but they do have bit of an odd side that only you see. Is a hardcore switch, no leaning.

Characters: Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Nikolai Belinski, Philip Graves.

Black cat Boyfriend/Girlfriend who randomly bring home things that made them think of you, they knew you'd like it but only let out a subtle smirk. Lives for you being their adorable little sunshine, mean and cold towards other but less with you. Tried to give you tough love but eventually gave in because you are you. You know how cats sometimes bring you dead animals as a proof of affection and acceptance, they've done that... only with a human head of course. Providing for you and making sure you're taken care of is their love language, very protective and can really hurt people if they wanted to, someone hurts or upsets you? Their head will be displayed on your front porch. Hardcore doms in the bedroom. (Yandere AU anyone??)

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Alejandro Vargas, Valeria Garza, König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Keegan P. Russ, Philip Graves.

[sxorpiomooon]

How do they feel about you - pac reading

Paid readings

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Pile 1

Pile 1 I'm sorry, the first thing I noticed was that my eyes kept forcing themselves to shut down for some reason it's like when you are thinking about someone and you sort of force yourself not to that's the vibe. I feel as if this person feels like you are walking away from this connection. I want to tell you that you are very brave for making this decision as I can see how stressed you look. Pile 1 might be extremely exhausted I heard "it's time to go" and had a vision of a clock tickling a brown one very light or dark academia core I think it was 9 o clock? I heard "i let go off what no longer serves me". This person has a victim complex they still that they are the victim here, the one who was wronged they are refusing to see the truth it reminds me of the first thing I mentioned while writing this the eye thing. This person self sabotages things and then cries about it. It's like someone is crying with their eyes closed to everyone that they are tied with rope and can't move but they don't realise that they are never tied in the first place. OML im so mad😭😭😭 this person has placed everything in your power I'll tell you what this is the kind of man who would NEVER plan ANY dates or anything and will ALWAYS say "we'll see" etc I'm so mad this person refuses to put any efforts and wants you to do all the WORK and they might also Gaslight you oh my pile 1 you are doing right throw this son of. A bitch away this made me mad too. Also for those who need it, the flower that you guys choose is lotus and the reason why lotus is my favourite flavour is because even while being surrounded by mud, it never loses it's beauty and goodness. I hope you remember that<3

Pile 2

i like this whoever this person is they might be really forgetful air signs if you are asking about a man ooo he good looking might have good eyes but dark circles I'm seeing a dark blue tshirt and very dim yellow lights is this a party no idea a libra is involved anyways this might be a new connection or you guys might be starting a new cycle. Also the second thing I got and I forgot to include was that whenever this person remembers you they might do it in a very pleasant manner it's like a bunch of people talking about you and all a sudden they'll be like "ooooooo xyz? Oh yea they're good they're nice they're very nice i like them" that's the vibe I'm seeing whiskey??? This connection has alot of raw potential only slowly unleashing or revealing itself now, you have the power to take this connection wherever you want it go rn. There are endless possibilities. Apples keep playing in my head SOMEONE STPP IT. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I feel like either they feel like this or its both of your energy but there's something about childhood trauma here I keep hearing something shattering like plates or glasses broken family and disharmony is what I heard. And this person might also think that you might be a loner or someone who just really enjoys their own company I had a vision of painting? I guess this might also be interpreted as this was a connection with alot of potential but past trauma kinda ruined shit for the both of you and if that's the case I'm so sorry to my pile 2

Pile 3

Someone here might speak like singing as in even while saying normal sentences you might say it in a very melodious manner something about singing also had a vision of a takeaway as in the window and vibing alibi started playing YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT UUST HAPPENEDNNOTONCE BUT TWIECE OKAY MY RUMBLR CRASHED OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEN OPENED AND I WAS SVARWD THAT MY 3NTIRE READING WILL BE WASTED BUTBIT GOT RESTORED AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN BUT AGAIN IT WAS RESTORED. Anyways for some of you something might have happened in this connection that destroyed it as in there was so much hope and light which all ended up in darkness for some reason "all this rage was once love" came to my mind and a very nice warming instrumental played in my head. This is a pile for a very few of you, you might be asking for a past connection. I think there is hope however there's also a need to let go off your emotional baggage in order to continue to connection or for anything. This person also feels this way, that you might have walked away or both of you did because of the unreleased trauma. I hope everything works out in your favour pile 3 <3

[budzdorovanatasha]

ooo could we get a fic with Nat being forcibily quarantined due to horrendous cold which shes totally denying she has, R is assigned duty to look after her?

It's a bit short, but I hope you like it! :))

------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm not sick," your girlfriend huffed, crossing her arms and giving a congested sniffle.

"Mhmm, of course not," you agreed, pushing her gently in the direction of her suite.

"Well then why-"

"Because we are just going to spend some quality time together," you interrupted, fingers trailing down the length of her back soothingly as you walked. She didn't say anything, knowing you were just forcing her to rest and recover.

When she'd entered the kitchen that morning, things hadn't exactly gone as Natasha had planned. She'd sniffled and sneezed her way through breakfast (seventeen times to be exact), got thrown in a coughing fit, and had used up the entire box of tissues.

Tony had shouted 'Quarantine!' and well, you kind of agreed. One, you wanted nothing more than to actually care for your poor girlfriend. And two, the Avengers had a pretty big mission scheduled for the following week, and if everyone came down with what Nat had, it would not go very well. You were fine if you got sick, but the entire team was a definite no.

So, here you were, guiding your very sick girlfriend to her suite.

"So, you're not sick, but maybe we could just have a relaxing day in bed? We never get to do that anymore," you fake-whined. Nat could never say no to you and your puppy-dog eyes so she nodded, clearing her throat.

"Tea?" you asked innocently. Her eyes narrowed.

"I want something warm, but no coffee," you shrugged.

"Sure, then."

You nearly rolled your eyes. The woman was mature when it came to everything but being sick.

Her breath caught and three stifled sneezes were sent into her shoulder.

"Bless you." You had wanted to say so much more, to run over there and pull her into your arms and tell her to let them out until she had rid herself of the horrendous cold, but that wouldn't go over well, so you settled for the simple, common response.

"Thank you."

Well, at least she acknowledged that. When you'd first met Natasha, she wouldn't even acknowledge that she had sneezed.

"Tea's done," you murmured, moving over to the bed where Nat had removed the decorate pillows and made room for the two of you to relax, the bed tray up and ready for the mugs.

You climbed in next to her, barely allowing any space between the two of you. That was how you both liked it, close, protected, and warm.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," you responded softly, setting the mugs down. "What should we watch?"

"Whatever you want," Nat answered. You glanced at her, taking in the glassy eyes, red nose, dark circles under her eyes, and flushed cheeks. She'd probably fall asleep fifteen minutes in, if she let herself.

"Casablanca?"

That was never a wrong move in your girlfriend's book, and she nodded, leaning into you and pulling the covers snugly around your laps.

You'd made it five minutes into the movie before she just couldn't ignore her twitching nose anymore. She suddenly sat up and pulled herself away from you, hiding her nose behind her hands as her breath hitched.

"H'h-htsch! T'tch! Hutsshoo!"

Natasha stayed there for a moment, seemingly not quite sure if she was done. Your hand found her back, a soothing, comforting presence for her.

"n'tsch!"

"Bless you," you offered quietly.

"Thank you," she sighed, pulling a tissue from the box on her nightstand. When she settled back into you, you chewed your lower lip.

"Baby?" you whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Do you maybe not feel well?"

It was quiet for a moment. You thought she might not answer, so you tried again. "Natasha-"

"I think I may have a cold."

It was quiet, barely said, but it was enough.

"Oh, baby, let's get you better," you murmured. You pressed your lips to her temple and relief washed over you when the air around her seemed to settle as she relaxed further into you.

[entername322]

Obsession

Irene (Red Velvet) x Male Reader

Length: 12860 words

Next part

Cool, calm, and collected, that's the three main thing Irene always remind herself to keep.

Navigating through the idol life she has to keep herself from losing hold of her emotions.

Keep a facade, use a mask, make sure nobody sees what she feel or think. These are the main thing she always try to do when it comes to interacting with other people off camera.

She hates men, it's not because they've done something to her. It's just that she find all the men that have tried to flirt or make a move on her has been thoroughly pathetic and frankly, disgusting.

After years of navigating through the idol's life she's been very adept at hiding her feelings.

The nickname ice queen doesn't particularly mind her by any means. However she would also be lying if she said that the nickname doesn't hurt her sometimes.

She does have feelings, she just finds that showing it off would be a bad idea.

That being said, the name has done nothing but skyrocket her popularity, and help her build an image for herself.

Her cold expression and attitude has help her deter some people from coming on to her.

Although that just means the people that do came on to her is the stupidest or the most arrogant of the bunch.

"Unnie come on, Yun is a great guy"  

That didn't stop her own friends and member to try and hook her up with someone though.

"Seung-ah, I'm thankful, I really do, but I'm really not looking for anyone right now"

Her own member, Wendy has tried to hook her up with some people recently. Irene hates this, she despise people who try to do that for her.

Wendy however, is her own member, so her motherly and loving side for her and the hatred for such actions leave Irene in turmoil on how to escapes this situation.

"Come on, one dinner, if things goes bad then I'll swear I'll never pester you about this ever again"

Irene's mind raced quickly, on one hand she's afraid accepting it would enables her other member to do the same. On the other an unpleasant night for a life time, well, a few months or year of peace isn't so bad.

"Fine"

She concluded that if others try to do the same she'll just bring up this incident. After all, if Wendy, one of the best at judging characters and the most sociable of them all, can't find someone who could match her taste, who else would?

Despite the consent she has gave her, on the night of the dinner, she felt a little regret.

This is gonna be a bad dinner

Of course, she tried to keep an open mind. She wouldn't want to ruin her own friends effort with prejudice.

She did her research, looking at the man online. His social media, his occupation, okay maybe it's a little to creepy, but she can't help herself.

On paper, everything is fine, he's an accountant to a big law firm. Late 20s, been in a few relationships. He keeps his exes photo on his Instagram, and seeing his recent post he seems to still hangout with them.

Most of the pictures is group photo so it most probably means that he still hangout with the circle of friends without any issue.

Looks wise, he's average. Irene doesn't have a high standard by any means, she just hangout with some of the most beautiful idols around her work. Compared to them, he's average, which means he's pretty good looking for the general public.

So what's the red flag? Irene doesn't know herself, it's just, she doesn't have any interest in him.

Most of the thing she find about him just leave an 'oh' in her mind. Not bad 'oh' or a good 'oh' just 'oh'.

Nevertheless, she went to the dinner, a reservation at the 2 Michelin star restaurant. She enjoys this kinds of food, not that she's materialistic, she just have a taste for expensive things. Okay she might be a little materialistic, a bit more than what she would admit.

"Hello, I'm David, it's nice to meet you"

The man was waiting for her at the reserved table already.

Quite and secluded place at the corner of the room, away from the windows that the paparazzi could use.

This is a two Michelin star restaurant, even the worst seat is better than the one in most places.

"Hello, Seung talk alot about you"

Give a little smile, shake his hand, sit at your seat. Don't try to be hostile or too friendly. Observe him.

"I must say, I'm a big fan of your work, it's very surprising that Wendy would offer me this opportunity"

A genuine smile, no signs of nervousness. Irene, doesn't have any strong feeling about that confidence, but it does leave some impression for her to note.

"Well, Seung is, very social, she likes introducing her friends to each other"

Perhaps that trait of her have left Irene in some awkward and uncomfortable situation. Of course Irene would never say this out loud.

"So, should we order?"

Chatty, this man is chatty. It does bring a little relive for Irene. She prefers someone who would take over the conversation and alleviate some burden from her.

It also means he might slip up and say more than what he meant, which is perfect for her since she's observing him.

"..... And it was pretty funny actually. How about you? Did Wendy ever brought you to an awkward situation like that?"

He was talking about how Seung once tried to hook him up with a distant cousins of him.

"Not really, although I'm not really good at meeting new people"

"Well, I used to as well, but being dragged into a lot of social gatherings I've been.... Forced to adapt. There's this one time...."

The dinner was fine, things has been going well, Irene was surprised herself that he was pretty charming.

"Sorry if I talk alot, I tend to do it if I was nervous"

"It's fine, sorry if I didn't talk much either"

"Of course, it's my pleasure to, you know, have a chance to sit here with you-"

His phone buzzed.

"Sorry, just a moment"

Picking it up, he opened his newly received text. It was a nude picture of a woman.

Irene saw it and raised her eyebrow, how does she saw it? Well, the little painting behind him gave a little reflection.

Not a noticeable one, but her eyes is one of a hawk, never missing any small detail.

He answered the text, something Irene can't see, before looking back at her.

"Sorry, work stuff"

Hmmm, off putting, but since she doesn't see his response she wouldn't mind putting the benefit of the doubt, slightly.

"It's fine, you were talking about your first year at the law firm you're currently working on?"

The conversation continues smoothly, almost like the little hiccup from before never happened.

In fact, Irene was throughly surprised that things went well.

"So, that was a nice dinner"

"Yes, it was"

"It's been nice talking with you Irene"

"Me too"

The two gather up their thing and ready to leave. As they walk out, David did the sinful and unforgivable act in Irene's book. He put his hand on her shoulder, almost leading her.

"How about we continue our talk at my place, it was fun, and the night is still young"

Confident, so much so he thinks that he could bring me to his place after the first date? On a blind date on top of that?

"Sorry, I have an early schedule"

Irene smiled again, unlike the others one she gave ro him during the dinner, this one is an annoyed smile. Not that he would notice it.

"Oh come on, you're a senior already, just break the rule a little bit"

"I'm, really sorry, it's an important meeting"

"Come on, not even a kiss?"

Men.

The next day Irene came to work in a bad mood.

"So, how does it go?"

Wendy said the moment she saw her leader.

"Morning Seung"

"Come on, spill, I told you he's great"

"He was, until he tried to talk me into spending time in his place"

"He did?"

"Things are fine until the end of the dinner"

"Oh shit, sorry unnie, he's not Korean, things are, different in the-"

"Seung, I don't, I don't like the vibe he gave me at the end"

Wendy frowned, from disappointment, although she's not sure it was directed to Irene or David.

"I'll.... Okay, I understand"

"Sorry Seung, he seems like a great guy, but he's too aggressive for me"

"Yeah, I get it"

"Anyway, what's the plan for today?"

"Well, beside the photoshoot at noon me and Seulgi-unnie is going to meet some of the trainee that we have. There's some promising people our produce said"

Checking in on the trainee is something a lot of the idols do in SM. Even Irene has done it a few time before.

"Can I come with you?"

"Sure, come on"

The two of them went to meet up with Seulgi at their designated dressing room.

"Unnie is coming too?"

Irene nodded.

"Well let's go, I'm gonna be the dance instructor for today"

The group of three went to the trainee practice room.

As soon as they got in the rowdy buch of kids got quiet. Entranced by the three women.

"Morning everyone, I'm Seulgi from Red Velvet, today I'll be your dance instructor"

Seulgi's word cause a wave of panic between the trainees face.

"Don't be nervous, I'll try my best to help you all. As you may have know these are my members, Irene and Wendy, they will be watching us today. Don't panic, they are simply watching us"

Irene's eyes scanned the room,watching and observing the expression. None seems to stand out for her, until she saw you.

You, were not by any means an outstanding person. Not the most handsome, not the prettiest or the cutest. You do standout a little due too your absurd height, not that it shown when you sit down.

Was she looking at me? No, come on now man, don't get your hopes up, that's Irene.

But she did in fact, looking at you. Long enough for her to get into a trace, short enough to where nobody's watching pick on it.

Irene was, stunned, she wasn't sure why. Her eyes was just locked in place as she saw you.

Thankfully Wendy nudges her, waking her up from her daze. Wendy pulled her to the side, a nice place so they can watch the trainees.

"Okay, come on, stand up, let's start"

Irene's eyes is locked to you, watching your every movement.

Tall

That's the first thing she thinks about the first time she saw you stood up.

Her heart was racing, what are you doing to her? You didn't say anything, you didn't even acknowledge her more than you should.

Yet, somehow, you caught her attention.

She was too entranced to hear the instructions Seulgi is giving.

She did realised it when you started dancing along the others. Your movement was stiff, not unsalvageable. Your expression is one of full focus, something that does nothing but daze her even more.

"That's great, now, let's do individual test"

While others are panicking you were looking straight at Seulgi with contemplative gaze.

You looked away for a second, to gaze on Irene. Just a second, but it's enough to cause Irene's heart to skip a beat.

"Now, let's go, who want to start first?"

One particular trainee seems excited and enthusiastic, he raised his hand.

The others moved back, now facing Irene and Wendy, watching one by one getting called out to do a dance routine.

Wendy was cheering and giving words of encouragement every now and then to each participant. Seulgi gave a polite yet stern comments.

Irene was, well, she's busy watching you.

Enough for you to feel a little uncomfortable.

"What's up blue?"

"I don't know, I'm just nervous, that's Irene bro"

"Fuck I knew, I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of my favourite idol"

"What about me man, I was in the zone before and I still look like a dancing stickman"

"You'll do fine man, just, be confident"

"Yeah, you too bro. Do you, do you feel like Irene is watching at us?"

Your friend took a quick glance to Irene, however she was watching the trainee that's dancing right now.

"Nah man, but I know what you mean, she's definitely watching all of us"

That's, not what you mean at all. You look back at Irene, seemingly busy watching the one being tested right now.

Was it just your imagination?

It wasn't, Irene read your lips, realising you might caught up with her intense stare she looked away to make sure you didn't get suspicious.

She still watch you from the corner of your eyes. Not until you look away did she turned to continue watching her.

Suddenly, this becomes a cat and mouse game where both of you tried to look at each other without being noticed by the other.

You, failing miserably, there's like 6 times in 5 minutes where you were looking at her only to find her gaze at you back before you could look away.

Irene was cool, calm and collected, even in the event of stalking someone. Not a single time you realise that Irene was watching you. Even though she has watch you more than you watch her.

When your time is up, anxiety and fear take over you. Nervously you walked to the front.

"Let's go blue"

Your bro have your back thankfully.

"Don't be nervous"

Seulgi smiled to calm you down, doesn't help.

The music kicks in, and you start your dance.

While you were haphazardly dance, Irene was having a little joy in her heart. She now can watch you throughly without having to avert her gaze every now and then.

Your movement wasn't terrible, just bad. That doesn't seems to bother her the slightest. In fact, she find it cute.

Wait, hold on, cute?

Really?

Irene ws confused, how those those words come up at her mind. During her confusion you managed to finish your dance.

"Well, that was a good effort, but I can see you're still a little awkward at dancing. Is it perhaps due too your height that you are less flexible?"

Irene decided to put it at the back of her mind so that she can focus back on you.

"Y-y-yeah, it was, a bit hard for me to do those delicate move"

Your stuttering seems to sent a rush of alien feelings in Irene.

"It's okay, you memorize the dance already and you seems to know when you messed up yet you still have the clear mind to continue on with your moves. Do a little more flexibility training and you will fix it"

Seulgi's word of encouragement put a smile on your face. A smile Irene is not enjoying.

"Yeah, you did good, keep up the hard work"

Having two encouragement from your future possible senior put you in a good mood.

"Thank you for the instructions and the encouragement"

You bowed, again giving smile to Seulgi who returned it beautifully. Irene does not like your smile. You then glanced at Wendy and her. Irene loves that smile.

As you sat back, stunned by the newfound motivation. Irene is stunned, having your smile imprinted in her brain and memory.

"Hell yeah blue"

Your bro gave you a fistbump before getting ready for his turn.

You glanced back to Irene, this time she wasn't hiding her gaze.

Your eyes meet, at that moment, time seems to stop. Both for you and Irene.

Your mind raced at a few million miles an hour, your heart stopped alongside the time. Irene, is looking at you, with a..... Best described as longing look.

Holy fuck she's dangerous, how did I managed to stay focus during the dance? Gosh she's pretty, is she prettier then when you saw her on screen? I should look away now

.

.

.

Why am I not looking away?

Irene was having the similar thoughts. Enthralled by your gaze, your eyes seemingly to be a bottomless abyss that drawns her. Her breathing got heavy, her heart thumping faster than she ever felt before.

What are you doing to me?

Then, just like it never happens, you two both look away.

You stare blankly to the wall, trying to keep your brain from coming up with impossible imagination.

Irene was staring at the floor, trying to keep her heart from going wild and burst.

In your stuppor, your friend managed to finish his dance and got a compliment by Seulgi and sat back with you.

"Fuck I thought I was gonna faint"

Yeah, you too, you stood up and went to the exit. You need to wash your face.

Irene was in a panic as she saw you leave. A weird unknown panic.

She stood up, following you soon after.

While you were washing your face and try to clear your face, Irene was waiting outside the practice room.

Your steps and heavy and loud, it's given due to he fact of how tall you are. Despite your lean stature your body still weights enough to make some loud foot steps.

The moment Irene hears your footsteps she slowly walked to the bathroom. Trying to make it look like she's going to the bathroom as well.

You were stunned again the moment you walk out, seeing Irene walking to the bathroom from a distance away.

Awkwardly you walk back to your room, once you were close enough Irene took away her eyes from her phone and look at you.

With a nervous smile you bowed to her. However as you wanted to continue walking Irene stop, next to you, looking at you.

Subconsciously, you stopped as well, again, meeting your gaze with her.

Irene wasn't sure herself why she stopped. She even put her hand behind her, hiding her phone and her nervous finger that keep jolting around.

"Blue? Is that your name?"

Her mouth moves before her brain can think.

"Ehmmm, y-y-yes, that's what everyone call me"

Your attempt to smile only made you look like a grimacing in pain.

"Don't be so nervous"

Irene however find this cute, your nervousness is amusing to her.

"I'm sorry, it's just that....."

"That?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that, I was a big fan of you and Red Velvet, so seeing you here feels..... Surreal"

The smile on Irene's face seems to grow even larger.

"Really? A big fan huh? So who's your bias then?"

Is she crazy? How could I say anyone else but her at this moment?

"Ehm, it's you"

Oh god, your nervousness, your shy smile, your blush, your words. It dragged Irene, deep into a dark place that she doesn't know she have in her heart.

"Really?"

Her voice raise a few octaves, not that you realized, you're busy trying not to faint out of embarrassment.

"Yes"

She loves it, she loves your demeanour.

Irene has met countless idols and fans that stammered and stunned the moment they see her. She have grown accustomed to it. Yet you, above thousands of encounters that she has, managed to leave such an impression to her mind, forever.

"That's good to hear, don't be so nervous, I'm not gonna bite"

She wants to, she really, really, really wants to do it, but it's not like she has lose control of herself.... yet.

"Oh sorry, I'm just, not good at handling my nervousness"

You reached to the back your neck. There was, a small, feeling, barely noticeable. A voice saying this nervousness is not just a simple nervousness.

You didn't realise it, it was barely noticeable in the first place. With the ice queen herself standing in front of you there could be a fire happening and you wouldn't even react to it.

Irene, was watching you, as you bring up your hand, the long sleeve of your sweater falls down.

Your exposed forearm made her eyes locked to it. Of course working out a little you have a decent body, but looking at your, somewhat impressive forearm, Irene was enamored.

"I'm sorry, thank you for spending your time to check in on us, it really means a lot"

You smiled again, and for Irene, it broke her heart to a million pieces before it brought itself back together and got inflated so big that it burst.

"It's fine, I'm sorry I didn't put in any comments. I.... Have a lot in my mind"

You, you were in her mind.

Irene tighten her grip on her phone, thankfully her slender and delicate fingers is not strong enough to break it.

"Oh, no, not at all, don't be sorry, it was more than enough to have you, spend some time to watch us. It was an honour for us"

You raised both your hand in front of you waving it to make sure it's okay. This cause Irene to watch both of your forearm. Remember that thing about self control? Yeah, it's slipping away slowly.

"Really? You mean it?"

Irene stepped forward causing you subconsciously stepped back.

"Y-y-yeah"

Irene felt her heart thumping so loud it might cause her to be deaf.

"Then, do you mind if I watch you again so I can help guide you?"

Just like a black hole you keep pulling Irene to come closer. Unlike a black hole you stepped back again. This time your feet meets the wall.

"O-o-of course, if it w-w-won't bother you"

Not wanting to look like a weirdo you try to stand straight.

"Oh, really? Are you sure?"

Irene coming even closer doesn't help though.

"Yeah"

While you were trying to keep your wits, Irene is trying to keep her self control.

Getting closer she smells the slight body odour you gave off from doing those dances. Your body heat seems to radiate to her, giving off warmth that she never felt before.

"Then let's exchange number, so I can give you a time and place for tutoring"

Your brain short circuit for a little. Along with your heart, and your lungs, and your, well, your whole organ.

This is Irene, of course you're having a full organ failure when she ask for your number.

"Sorry?"

You managed to squeak out.

"Your number, for tutoring"

Irene pulled out her phone from behind her before quickly opening her contact.

She then leaned forward while offering her phone to you.

Despite being a head taller, you felt like a little mouse in front of her.

You glanced at the phone, ready to take it, then something else caught your eyes.

She was wearing a loose sweater today, her little forward lean is enough for her to expose her clevage.

You, might stare longer than you should. It is mind boggling that she didn't say anything.

Irene didn't say anything, becuse she likes it.

That's right, Irene, one of the idol, maybe the number one idol who hate being sexualised, is enjoying your eyes.

He's checking me out? Oh yeah, the sweater is loose. Is he watching my clevage? Don't react Irene, don't let him realise that you realized his gaze.

"Of course"

Quickly you take her phone and put in your number. Double, no, triple, no, quad checking the number you put in is the right one before giving it back to her.

"Thank you"

Irene smiled happily, one for your number, two for your eyes that's showing your lustful desires.

"Y-y-yeah, thanks sunbaenim"

No, that's not quite right, she doesn't like that name you have for her.

"Don't be formal, call me Joohyun-noona"

Call me that, now.

"I, okay, thank you Noona"

Hmmmmm, Irene's heart has stopped yet again.

"Well go on, you should go back"

She doesn't have to tell you twice. You quickly scurry of the the practice door.

Irene watches your back, even from the back she can't help but be enticed by you.

I want you.

You can't believe it, you simply can't believe you just gave Irene your number. In fact, you can barely believe Irene is here watching you.

Take a deep breath. Calm down. Focus on the lesson.

"You seems happy unnie"

Nothing can escape Wendy, as soon as Irene walked back in, the little smile she had on her face has not escape Wendy.

"Oh? It's nothing"

Irene glances back at you, who is busy watching your fellow trainee performance.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just found something interesting"

"Someone?"

"You could say that"

Irene would love to stay here watching you the whole day. Unfortunately she has a schedule that she need to follow.

With a heavy heart, she followed her friends to say goodbye before leaving the place.

She has send you a text so that you would keep her number. She also knows that you can't use your phone until lunch.

That doesn't stop her from checking her phone every few seconds, hoping for you to answer her text.

When lunch come around Irene can't focus on her food. She keeps wondering what you were doing, and why you're not answering her.

Of course the answer is simple, you forgot.

Only until around the sun down when you finished your training for today did you saw she has sent you a message.

With a little hesitation you answered it.

Surprisingly for you, she read it instantly. Of course, Irene has been locked to her phone every since she sent you the text.

Despite all the anger that she have for you, there's still a glimmer of happiness seeing you answer.

She asked you what took you so long to answer.

You panicked, hurriedly saying sorry and told her it's been a long day and you were busy working out.

"Working out? Does he use the companies gym?"

"Companies gym? That's off limit for trainees, if only I can use it, I don't have to spend money for gym membership"

"I want to see him workout, I can give him an allowance to use it"

"She's giving allowance? But why?

"Why? What should I say here? Oh right, I just want to help him build up his flexibility"

"My flexibility? Is it so bad that she has to oversee me herself? Is she overseeing me?"

"Yes, of course I'm overseeing him, who else?"

"Whoa, that's, I don't know what to say"

Stunned by the message you took a minute to digest what she is offering you.

Unfortunately for Irene that minute is one minute too long.

"Why isn't he responding"

"Oh shit, what do I say? Thank you for the offer? I don't deserve it?"

"Why did he say that? Stop saying that, just take the offer and workout with me"

"Oh shit, did I piss her off? Sorry, I'll take it if she insist then"

"Good, I want to see him again, I need to ask his schedule"

"My schedule? I guess I can send her the screenshot for it"

"That's too restricting, ahhhh, I don't think I can just ask them to change it"

"What do you mean it's too restricting? Doesn't she went through this"

"I did, but I don't like it. Can he workout in the morning?"

"Morning? Like 5 AM? She wants to workout that early?"

"5 AM is too late, he starts at 8 AM. Can he starts at 4 AM?

"4 AM? Bruh that's like my unemployment schedule when I can just workout before sun rise and chill for the rest of the day"

"Too early? How do I convince him? Oh right, it's for his stamina"

"Ahhhh, she really want me to start at 4 AM? Fuck it, I don't get any more chances to do this"

"Good, I'll see him tomorrow morning, I wonder what I should wear tomorrow"

While Irene is filled with enthusiasm and struggle to find the best outfit for tomorrow you went to prepare 5 alarm to wake up early tomorrow.

The next day, you went to the company building, the security seems to have been informed for your arrival and send you up to the gym.

In the gym, there's nobody, except for Irene. Sitting there waiting for you.

Her ethereal beauty made you hold your breath, her gaze that's locked on to you made you feel uncomfortable, as if she's dissecting your whole body with her eyes.

Irene was struggling to keep herself from running to you. She held her breath, dug her nails into her palm, doing everything that she can to stop herself.

"Come here, don't be shy"

Too caught up in her beauty, you didn't realise her voice crack.

"Good morning Noona"

Irene love it when you call her that, the name, the tone, the deep raspy voice you have.

As you get close Irene felt the warmth that rejuvenate her yesterday, the warmth she never realised how much she enjoyed your presence.

"Good morning, so, let's start with a little briefing, how do you usually workout?"

You started of with some stuttering, but you did managed to smooth out your words and eloquently tell her the details for your workout.

Irene is happy, you didn't use much weight lifting at your workout, she prefer a lean body type in a person.

"Well, let's go, do a warmup, I'll follow you for now"

Do you feel nervous working out with Irene around? Yes, definitely yes.

"Come on now, go all the way"

It was when you do some stretching, opening your leg out in a split while trying to lower your body to reach forward as far as you can did Irene see an opening.

She went and put her hand on your shoulder. The touch cause a sudden thrill for both of you.

"Relax your back, take a deep breath"

Irene managed to keep her composure as you were panicking. You did managed to calm down and follow her instructions as she pushed you further.

Unfortunately for Irene, the move doesn't last forever and she reluctantly take off her hand off your shoulder. Feeling somewhat contempt for feeling up your back.

"Now, go start your workout routine"

She doesn't like your routine as much as before. That is simply because she doesn't find any more opportunities to touch you.

She craves it, she craves you. It's slowly driving her mad, the sight of you has become a full feast for her desires. The touch that she felt still lingers in her hand. Your warmth, it's comforting, so much so she can't help but get close to you during the whole workout, never letting herself further than one meter away from you.

As the workout progress your body start sweating up, your body odour is something you've been self conscious about. A source of insecurity that forces you to wash yourself multiple time a day.

For Irene, the smell is addicting, it was something she want to turn into a candle and light it up all around her house.

Needless to say she got more and more restless, she wants to touch you.

She wants to run her hand through your sweat stained t-shirt, she wants to dig her face to your neck and inhale your scent so it will imprint itself in her mind.

"That's enough, now we need to work on your flexibility"

She snapped, she can't hold it any longer.

"Go down on the mat"

As you sit down she walked behind you, putting both hand on your shoulder.

You felt, scared, intimidated. You wrote it off as a normal feeling, one of a junior when their senior is watching them very closely. If you were in the right mind you would've notice it was much more than that, it was the feeling when a prey felt when they have been caught in the hand of their predator.

"Now, let's start with the basic"

You have fail the basic, much to your dismay. Feeling the shame and embarassment rise in you, you grit your teeth and look up to her.

Only to find her faint smile while her eyes is filled with imagination and, hunger.

Irene is happy, you're terrible at this, so much so that she can spend alot of time teaching you for it.

"It's okay, we can still improve"

Her words of encouragement felt like pity for you.

"Now, it's my turn to workout, help me for a second"

Once again, anxiety fill you up.

"Come on, hold my leg"

She find a few manuvers where she could force you to held her close.

She felt fulfilled after feeling up all your body from before. Now she wants something else, she wants you to touch her.

Your big rough hand can be felt clearly through her tight thin outfits. She ejoy the gentleness you put on your touch.

She ejoy your meek expression as you held her.

She enjoys your shyness and attempt to look away from her only to fail and check her out every now and then.

Once she's satisfied she ended the training.

"That's was good, it is a productive first day. It's still 7 AM, why don't you get a shower so we can enjoy breakfast together"

Of course, that doesn't mean she's done with you.

You slipped off to the shower, taking a bath and clean up every inch your body.

Irene sneaked into the locker, she heard the shower noises so she ran to your gym bag. Taking out your t-shirt.

It's wet from your sweat, although it's not drenched like before since you had time to cool down as you help her stretch.

As she took out you t-shirt, the smell attacked her nose. Without thinking she stuffed it to her face, taking a deep breath, inhaling the scents.

"Oh god~~"

Moans escaped her lips as her pants is slowly developing wet spots. She doesn't wear panties, hoping that you would be brazen enough to get a feel of her ass.

Of course, you were to scared for your life to do so.

Then the shower stopped, Irene was woken up form her daze, she ran to the exit before escaping to her locker room.

She pull out a plastic bag from her gym bag, carefully putting your t-shirt in it before zipping it close. Your t-shirt will be out to good use for the next week or so.

You waited for her at the gym, she has make it clear that she wants to eat breakfast with you.

Not long Irene walks out, looking fresh and proper. She wore a white shirt along with a black pencil skirt. Awakening the teacher links you have in you.

"Come on, let's go"

Her smile is blinding you.

She took you to her office, seemingly already ordered a breakfast for two from the two take out box on her table.

"So, this was fun"

Irene is never been the one who started a conversation, however, it's been established that you, are different for her.

"Y-y-yeah, thanks for today noona"

You nervously look at her curious gaze.

"Of course, I have a question, why did your friends called you blue?"

"Well, it was during the audition, there was a little written test. Well not a test, there was just a few questions about me and my dreams and they want us to write it on paper. They gave me a pen, but then, it broke, somehow. Spraying blue ink all over myself and my hand. So, I finished the whole audition with a blue staint on my hand, face and shirt. The interviewer doesn't really think much of it, it was an error for their part. I don't mind it much either since they said it won't be a problem. The confidence u show even though I looked silly with the ink made them accept me. Some of the trainee was there as well, they called me blue man. I find it funny and just roll with the nickname"

Irene frowned for a second, noting to get to the bottom of this. Finding the person responsible to humiliate you like that.

"Where do you audition in?"

"Japan, Tokyo, I had a few Korean friends and have been, well somewhat talented in singing. So I just took the audition and got accepted"

Irene's warm smile and friendly demeanour distract you from finding out it was an interview by her.

Needless to say, you pass with flying colours. In her eyes, you went from an object of desires and lust to a perfect icon for her ideal type of men.

"Well, thank you again for today Noona, I'm not sure how to repay you"

You've grown accustomed to her presence, which is something Irene noticed and took joy in.

"It's okay, go work hard today okay? I'll see you tomorrow"

"Tomorrow? We're doing this again?"

"Hehehe, of course, we'll be doing this until you pass my standard"

"O-o-o-okay then, see you tomorrow?"

She smiled and nodded. As you walk out of the room, Irene is staring at your back.

Slowly she cursed you, making her feel this way. She's Irene, the queen of kpop, the one who have rejected many men, all of which is much more accomplished than you.

Yet now, somehow, she's in love with you.

That's right, she can no longer deny it, she loves you, and she wants you. Whatever she wants, she get it.

Irene doesn't hate men, she knows that now, she's helplessly in love with you.

This new routine has drained you slowly.

After the first week you felt like you want to die. You're probably dead actually, you just didn't realise it.

Every morning you will find Irene waiting for you in the gym. You could've sworn she keep picking the most revealing outfits she have.

Everyday, Irene is getting bolder and bolder. She would start to caress your back as you were doing your early stretching.

When she made you stretch your leg on the floor she would openly feel up your chest, disguising it as a way for her to keep her balance.

When you help her with her stretches she will keep suggesting for you to touch her even more, much to your dismay.

You kept your respectful, touch though, much to her dismay.

At day 4 or 5, you realized she's not wearing any panties. Her white tight yoga pants has show her perfect ass to you when she was facing away from you.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Irene, which excite her even more.

Unfortunately for her, you never do anything more than staring when you think she wasn't watching. She's always watching.

You did realised your shirt occasionally went missing, only to find it the next day.

Organized is not what you are, so you just wrote it off as your clumsiness or lack of attention to details, which is ironic.

The things you hate the most, is Irene keep buying you breakfast. Everytime you always insisted for her to let do that.

Everytime she will win the argument, a gentle smile, a little caress on your hand, and then you'll be a blushing mess, to shy to say anything else.

The new routine is perfect for Irene, she loves it, but slowly, she realised it's not enough.

Every night she would suffocate herself using your used gym outfits while masturbating.

The first time she did it was heavenly, the best orgasm she ever had.

Irene is not a pure girl, she has her own sexual needs. She knows how to keep it down though, never realising that her drive, is way too high for normal people.

All those years of controlling herself is out of the window now, because of you.

She have your pictures, she took photo of you time to time during the workout.

She has videos of you, masking it as a way to explain your form to you.

Every time she got the chance she would open this pictures and videos. Revering your body, your movement, all of you, is something she can't get enough for.

She wants more.

She needs more.

She needs you.

"Hey blue, you want to get some ramen"

Your friend invited you for a lunch.

"No bro, I'm poor"

The life of an unemployed, well, technically a college student.

"Come on, I'll pay"

You felt yourself cringe for a second before quickly hiding it.

"No, I can eat at the cafeteria, they have nice chicken"

Nobody like the cafeteria food, they felt, bland. Not that you care, they tasted better than the trash food that you used to eat.

"Ahhh, fine, we'll buy you something nice"

They quickly scurry off leaving you alone in the practice room. For a few moments you were contemplating should you go out and eat or should you continue practicing.

However, the choice was made for you, by a beautiful pale beauty walking in the empty practice room.

"Oh Noona, good afternoon"

You hurriedly stand up and bowed to her.

"I was looking for you, why didn't you go out to eat?"

She managed to hide her aggravation with the tone of curiousity.

"Oh, I was thinking to practicing a bit more. Beside I'm not hungry"

Irene looked at you, with the cold, angry eyes. Silently she started walking to you.

"Noona?"

Her aura seems to grow so much so you felt your whole body shivering.

She didn't say anything until she got in front of you.

"You, are, eating, lunch"

She crossed her arm and the coldness in her eyes is gone, leaving nothing but anger.

"I, I'm really fine Noona, I don't nee-"

Your argument is sound and flawless, unfortunately she shut you up by grabbing your shirt and pulling you out.

"Okay, Noona, can you let me go now?"

Seeing no way out of this, you sighed and compromise with the current situation.

She stare at you for a second before letting go of your shirt. You sighed with relief but then she grabbed your hand. Interlocking her fingers with yours before she continue walking.

"Noona? I don't need to be held-"

Yet again, your argument was indisputable, but do you really want to finish it? Especially when Irene turned around, giving you a glare that could pierce your heart and slice it to a perfect 1 cm�� cube.

You shut your mouth, wisely. Irene continue walking in front of you, hiding her bright smile from your gaze.

Without caring she pulled you to the elevator and clicked the basement floor.

You felt nervous, what if someone sees you? Subconsciously your hand start to press on Irene's and your finger start caressing her hands.

Irene loves it, your grip was hard, so much so she felt bone being squeezed together. Your rough fingers also sends tickling sensation to her heart everytime they grind themselves again the back of he palm.

Then suddenly the door opened, and an employee walked in.

Your anxiety went through the roof, in an instant you squeezed Irene's hand even harder. The pain was intoxicating for Irene, she had to bite her inner cheek to remind herself not to squeal right there and then.

The employee looked at your intertwined fingers, then they looked at your nervous face, then to the glaring Irene.

They slowly stepped backward as the elevator door closes again. Much to Irene's joy her little paradise is kept pure.

The basement was empty, Irene immediately dragged you to her car, putting you on the passenger seat.

"Where are we going Noona?"

"Some place nice"

"I, I don't have much money Noona"

"It's okay, I'm paying"

You grimaced feeling uneasiness well up in your body.

"You, really don't have too Noona, you already payed for all our breakfast earlier. I can eat at the cafeteria, I promise I'm gonna eat"

Irene saw your face contorted for a second, something she will throughly research later in the day.

"No, I insist"

She turned on her car and start driving. You swallowed your uneasiness and tried to focus on something else.

Her perfume is nice.

Okay, not that one please.

The car is cool.

You, don't like cars.

Her fingers seems so hot.

Okay this not working at all.

Irene on the other hand, has embraced your presence. She is struggling to drive while her body keep screaming to throw herself on to you.

She wants to hold your hand, she wants to run her fingers through your fluffy hairs, she wants to taste your lips.

The 15 minute drive felt like an hour for both of you.

"Come here"

Irene once again held your hand to lead you to the reserved seat.

"You like French food?"

If I say no I feel like she still wouldn't let me go eat in the cafeteria.

"I never tried it"

"Good, this is the perfect place to start"

Lady, I can barely afford to buy water from this place, don't make my food palate become higher than my own financial capabilities.

"Why do you not like being treated?"

"You mean getting people to feed me out of pity?"

"Is that what you think I'm having? Pity?"

"I mean, no offense, I don't think I have much selling point to make you feel anything otherwise"

"That's not true, I like you"

"I.... thanks Noona, that's very kind of you"

"You don't get it"

"Yes?"

"I like you, romantically"

So, remember that little organ called heart? Well it's a very important organ to help your body functions, and keep you alive. Well, you lost it, unfortunate.

"Yes?"

You managed to squeak out after god knows how long.

"I like you"

"Yes?"

"I want to go out with you"

"Yes?"

"This is our first date"

"...... Yes?"

"Good, from now on we're going out"

"Uhmmmm...... Yes?"

Your timidness has grown Irene's interest in you, thankfully you kept quiet after this or else she would pounce you and start kissing you all over.

Everything else felt like a blur for you, things just went pass you, without even thinking you start eating the food.

The confusion you had overpowered the taste the food has given you.

"Be my boyfriend"

You stare at her in a catatonic state.

"Good, we're official from now on"

Do you even speak Korean? That language seems alien for your since you can't understand a single word coming out of Irene's mouth.

Irene left you to your demise, as she was enjoying the sight of a lost bunny right in front of her.

Even as you finished your lunch you didn't say anything. Not when Irene grabbed your hand and wrapped her arm around it. Not when Irene put her head on your shoulder as you got in the car. Not when Irene got to your company building and pulled you to her embrace and start playing with your hair.

"Baby, do you want to stay with me for the whole day?"

Her whispers in your ears woke you up. Her tone is so cute yet also, lustful. Her breath tickling your ear making sure you know how close she is to you right now.

"I-i-i-i need to go"

You stuttered trying to get off her hug.

"Ssssshhhhh, let's leave you a memory, for today's date"

She yanked your collar down, exposing your chest.

As you were frozen she leaned in, giving your peck a kiss, long enough to left her lipstick imprint on your chest.

"Aghhh, Noona don't do that"

Irene pulled herself back, leaving a thin trail of saliva between her lips and your chest.

You glanced down to see the red imprint on your chest was contrasting to your pale white skin.

As you tried to wipe it Irene grabbed your hand while glaring at you.

"Leave it"

"What? Noona, I can't just-"

"Leave it"

Her eyes is stern and firery, her grip is weak, but since her nail is sinking to your flesh you can only winced in pain.

"Okay"

You can only sighed in defeat, Irene nodded happily before pulling your hand. She watch the faint mark of her nails on your hand before gently caressing it.

"You're my boyfriend now, so I have to make sure you don't get preyed upon by others. Just do as I say okay baby? Then I won't hurt you"

Everything suddenly flood back to you, all those feelings in the back of your head all banded back together telling you it's too late.

You can't run.

"Okay Noona"

She smiled again before grabbing your chin.

"I've wanted to do this the moment I met you"

She leaned forward, your head screams to run, but your instincts screamed back that it would only lead to your death.

You leaned forward as well, taking her lips with yours.

The kiss was, pleasant for you, she seems to be more driven by lust making it one of the most aggressive kiss you've been in.

For Irene, the kiss was heavenly, she wants more, she wants your lips, your spit, it all taste like the sweetest nectar made for the gods.

Her whole body tensed up as she tried her best to stop herself from devouring you, yet your godly taste was just too enticing for her.

However, she's not a god, she got reminded of that by her own lungs screaming for air.

"Haaaa, Haaaa, I love you"

Between her panting she gaze into your eyes, her iris is dilated, in a shape of -it's impossible but you swear you see it- a heart.

Her lips is twisted to make the widest smile she has ever had in her life.

Her tongue slitehered out, licking her lips trying to take more of your taste.

She's drunk out of you.

"I, love you too"

If you can hear her organs you will go deaf from the squeak they just let out. Irene can't let go of you, unfortunately for her, she have to.

"I'm picking you up after your practice okay baby?"

Her gaze leave a chill in your spine, yet it also arroused you.

"Okay, babe"

This time, she let out a happy squeal while her hand is shaking.

"I love you"

She leaned in again to give you a peck on your lips.

Just a peck, she still have some self control so she knows if it's any longer than a peck then both of you won't be able to leave this car with your clothes on.

She escort you back to your training room, this time there's other people in the elevator.

You're happy you are off the hook from the hungry wolves that's holding you by the arm right now.

They gave you a weird and surprised look, but Irene doesn't mind, why would she? She have her eyes to one man, and one man only.

She escorted you to the front of your room.

"I want you to call me once you're done, and I want you to wait here until I pick you up"

Is she my mom or my girlfriend? Why the fuck am I asking this question about the Irene of Red Velvet.

"Okay.... Babe?"

She squealed again before kissing your cheek.

"Keep up your hard work"

You can't, how could you? You're having a relationship with Irene. God damnit you just made out with her in her own car 5 minutes ago.

Thankfully for you, nobody notices the red lipstick mark on your chest.

"Blue you're zoning out a lot"

"Oh yeah, sorry, I, don't feel so good"

"Is it the kimchi again? That's it dude, you're not eating in the cafeteria again"

"No, I'm fine, I...... Got a text from an old friend....... He took me out for lunch today"

"Oh? Your friend take you out on a lunch is okay but we're not"

"Come on man, I haven't seen him in so long, and I payed for my lunch"

"That's the thing dude, we don't want you to, we know your situation so just let us help you okay?"

"I, listen I am grateful for your help, but, I don't like owning someone something"

"Just, take it as a debt, you can pay it back once you debuted"

"I, thanks, but, I think I have a way to get lunch from now on"

"Fine then, but if I see you in the cafeteria again I'm dragging you to the McDonalds"

You almost die. By that it means you almost forgot to call your..... Girlfriend....?

Your call didn't get picked up, because you saw Irene waiting for you by the elevator.

Stern pose, angry glare, crossed arm, she's furious.

"Come here"

She pulled you the elevator, her aura is enough to deter any of your fellow trainee to jump in with you.

"I, sorry Noona, I was just about to call you"

"Oh is that so? Do you want to wait until you walk home to call me?"

"No, I was just tired from today's practice. I'm still adjusting to the new sleep schedule remember? I feel tired"

"You can't be tired, we need to do our second date today"

"T-t-t-today?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that"

Irene is furious, she is holding herself from jumping you right now and you know it.

"I, just think we should rest for now"

"No, I'm having a second date with my boyfriend right now"

Her roar could probably be heard from outside of the elevator.

"Then, what if, we have a date, in my place"

Immediately you see her whole body relaxed. Her furious expression turned to one of happiness and relief.

"Okay, then, good"

More than good, I can go to his place. I was trying to take it slow and go there tomorrow but he jumped in to offered it for me himself. He really does love me. We are meant to be babe, we will be the greatest couple to ever live.

She can't contain herself and gave you a kiss again.

"I love you"

Her whispers is almost as deafening as her roar from earlier.

"I, love you too Noona"

Irene can't decide if she loves Noona or babe more, but again as long as it's from you she will love it either way.

She dragged you to the car, practically sprinting to it before she drive to your place. How does she know where you live?

"Come on, move"

She even knows your apartment number.

Fear is enveloping you as you slowly unlocked the door to your apartment.

She hops in the moment the door is opened, you walked behind her before locking the door behind you.

Suddenly as you turn Irene slam you to the door, she grabbed your collar and pulled you to make out with her.

His fragrant is so addicting, his taste is heavenly, what's a 3 Michelin star food compared to this. Even his little moan- Haaaa, he's moaning, oh my god, I'm getting wet. He's so perfect, and even more than perfect now, he's my boyfriend.

She practically dry humping your leg that's between hers right now.

"Noona"

You pulled away, making her frown deeply.

"We should, move to the bedroom"

Her eyes lights up again, she dragged you inside, holding you by your collar.

The destination is the bedroom, the pit stop is everywhere.

She pushed you to the wall and made out again.

She pushed you to your couch and dry hump your crotch while sucking on your tongue.

She draged you to the door only to jump up and kiss you again, as you held her by the thighs.

Finally she got to your bedroom, pushing you down before taking off your shirt.

"Noona, you're so.... Hot"

Fuck your mind, how can you say no to Irene. Fuck the logic, fuck the instinct, fuck survival, you want her.

You craved her, as much as she craves you. Within just a few minutes you've fallen with her, deep into the abyss.

She dives to her favourite meal, your mouth. Her hand is practically feeling up every inch of your torso and arms.

You let go of your primal instinct and grabbed her ass.

"Ahhhh, squeeze it babe"

That's your intent, giving some firm squeeze making her let out a moan. Raising your hand, you then drop a slap on her ass cheek.

"Aghhhh, again"

She stopped kissing you and held you by the back of the neck. Her head is digging deep into your neck while bitting it.

"You're. Such. A. Succubus"

With every word you deliver a hard slap to her cheeks.

"Baby, I'm cumming, I'm cumming"

She moans as her teeth is holding on to the skin on your neck.

"A slut"

You slapped both of her ass and grabbed it, hard.

"Babbyyyyyy"

Her screams was loud and the pitch was enough to make a dog deaf. You didn't care, you bite into her neck.

Her body that's squirming is going in to a full on seizure as she reached her climax.

"I love you, my slutty, beautiful Noona"

You whispered in her ears as she was fighting for her life in your embrace.

After what seems like hours she stopped spasming, her breath got heavy as she seems to lose her energy.

"Tired already?"

"Never"

She sat on your lap before taking off her own outfits.

Her pink bra seems so cute enveloping her breast. Almost like an invitation for you to drown yourself in it.

An invitation, that you take.

Sitting up you used both of your hand to take it off and started bitting her already erect nipple.

"Baby"

Her moans and squeal sounds so defenseless, the polar opposite of the image she always gives off.

She put both hand around your head, hugging it and pushing you to dig deeper to her.

Her leg is locked to your stomach, hugging you like a baby koala hanging for it's life.

"Baby, I'm cumming"

Your hand grabbed her body, pushing her on to you. Your mouth is sucking on to her nipples greedily.

Her hand and leg tightened themselves on you as her climax came again.

This time, it's much shorter, but not less intense than before.

"Tired?"

You can't help but to tease her.

"Never"

She got off your lap before taking off your pants.

Your already erect member was mesmerising to her.

Your tip was leaking precum, using her hand Irene wipe it before licking it.

"You taste so good"

Her body shake before she took your member into her mouth.

Jesus her lips is so attractive. The way it wrap itself around your dick, the red, plump lips was a vacuum to your dick.

She can't take it all in, but that doesn't matter, because even with half inside you still feel her magic is working.

Then she took it our of her mouth before jerking it with both hands. Her mouth then travel down to kiss your balls and suck on it as well.

"Are you coming baby?"

Her high pitched whine push you even harder. She kissed your balls, and the bottom of your cock.

Your cock and balls was ridden with red lipstick smudge all over, something that arouse you even more.

She put your dick back to her mouth, this time, by the power of sheer will she managed to take all your member in her mouth and throat.

As her lips reaches the base she turned it in to leave another fine red imprint on it. She read your mind, she knows how to push you over.

"Noona I'm coming"

Hearing your moans she stopped giving you a deep throat, leaving only your tip in her mouth.

With the help of her saliva she used both of her hands to jerk you off.

Your cum sprayed into her mouth, undoubtedly turning all of it's inside to a white mess.

Her eyes rolled behind her eyes as she took a deep breath with her nose.

Then, as your climax ended she took the tip off her mouth.

She look at you with pride, then she opened her mouth and sticks out her tongue, showing your cum pooling inside her mouth.

Her lips is smudged all over, her mascara is runined with her tears, her mouth is practically over filled by your sperm.

A sight even the gods can only dream off, is right in front of you right now.

She closed her mouth back and then gulp it down. You can hear the sickening yet arrousing swallowing sound from her mouth. She opened her mouth back and sticks out her tongue to show nothing remains in her mouth.

Her eyes is filled with pride and happiness, almost, pure, a pure happiness of her own accomplishment.

You grab her by the thighs before picking her up and put her in the bed.

"Take it off baby, I can't wait for you anymore"

Pulling down her skirt you see her panties is practically drenched and even dripping some of her juices.

You pulled it down as well, giving you sights for the main course.

"Put it in baby, I want to feel you inside, make me yours, fill me up, pleaseeee"

She's whining and begging you like a spolied kid.

Any other time you would slow down and teased this ice queen, but not now, now, there's only one thing you wanted to do.

"OH MY GOD~~~~"

She screamed as her body convulsed yet again as you put the whole length of your member in.

You waited as she was orgasming. Wanting to remember this view for the rest of your life.

As it ended you realise there's a red stain coming out of her vagina.

"You're a virgin Noona?"

She nodded, without any shame.

"I'm waiting for you"

God she's a psycho, I love it. Wait, what?

You started thrusting, slow and hard, making her breat jiggle everytime you sink your dick deeper into her.

Moans and moans keep escaping her lips.

"Baby, I love you, I love you so much, baby faster"

She let out a high pitched whine as you continue thrusting into her.

"Oh god you're breaking me baby"

"Aghhhh, so deep, you're so deep inside me"

"Faster baby, break me apart, tear me into two GODDDDD........"

"I can't hold it anymore, please, faster"

"Baby, I'm cumming"

"You can't cum yet"

"Baby pleaseeee"

Oh god, the sight of Irene whining and begging in front of you is to hard for you to resist.

"I'm coming too"

You grunted and lay forward to be on top of her.

"Inside baby, fill me up, fill me up with your seeds"

She whisper before she kissed you again.

Your thrust is getting faster, her walls is getting tighter. Then, you felt your dick squirmed, she must've felt it too since her leg went to lock you in place.

"I'm cumming"

She screamed into your mouth as her body was sent into another seizure.

You're drained, your breath was heavy and slow. As you finished depositing sperm in her untouched womb you got off her and lay next to her.

"I, love you"

Tears starts to pour down her eyes, a joyful tears.

"I love you too, my ice cold Noona"

You kissed her again, and as you do, there's only one thing in her mind.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You're fucked mate.

"Baby, hug me"

Irene whined as she envelopes her limbs around you.

"Okay, babe, let's, get in the right position to sleep first okay"

She grunted as you drag her so she can lay on the bed with you. Irene nuzzled up close to you, her nude body is pressing up against you, making you feel every inch of her perfect skin that has become sticky from her sweat.

"I love you, I love you so much baby"

Irene's small whimper is the devil's whisper that keep pulling you deeper and deeper into her.

"Okay, Noona"

Why would you say that?

"Say it back"

She spat as she pinched your neck.

"Awww, I love you to Noona, I told you earlier"

She doesn't seems satisfied.

"I want to hear it from you every moment in my day for the rest of my life"

Fuck, what do I do now? Why the fuck did I succumb to my own dick?

"O-o-o-okay Noona"

She smiled again, letting go of your neck.

"I like it when you stutter like that, you're so cute, my baby boy is so perfect"

She rubbed her face all over your cheek.

"Let's go to sleep Noona"

She squealed.

"I love you, good night baby"

"G-good night, Noona"

It's been a long day, you went through a lot. The moment you closed your eyes you feel your consciousness slowly sleep away.

The next morning you woke up with the heavy weight of someone on top of you.

"Morning babe"

You were still blinking your eyes trying to wake up when you felt Irene's lips pressing up against yours.

"Noona"

You pulled back, making her let out a growl.

"I-i-i-i need to w-w-w-wash my teeth"

Opening your eyes you see Irene is looking at you with dissatisfaction.

"I don't care, I want to kiss you"

She tried to kiss you again but you close your mouth making her face turned to anger.

"Noona please, let me wash my teeth first okay? You can kiss me all you want after"

She frowned but nodded anyway.

You stood up, trying to get out of bed, which is hard when Irene is clinging on to you.

"Noona, I can't move"

She just looked at you with a cute puppy eyes.

"I, love you?"

She smiled and kissed your cheek before letting you go.

"I love you too babe"

You went to your bathroom, with Irene following close behind you.

"Noona, I need, to take a shit"

She frowned yet again.

"Once you're done, I'm making out with you for an hour"

Was it an ultimatum? A promise? You decided to not think about it before you locked the bathroom door.

"Fuck"

You went to wash your face.

"What the fuck just happened"

You were hoping that your reflection would answer you, thankfully it didn't.

You do your morning duty before washing your face yet again hoping you would wake up in this weird dream.

When you go out you see Irene is waiting for you in your couch.

Crossed leg, crossed arm, cold eyes, she returned to the old Noona you know. Although, it was only for a moment, she smiled to you, a warm yet sinister smile.

"Come here honey"

You, awkwardly sit next to her.

"I love you"

She grabbed your hand, both of them.

"I love you too Noona"

You tried your best to be earnest.

"I want you to be honest with me"

"Okay"

"Do you have any relationship before me?"

Her eyes turned cold and sinister, you felt her hand pressing up harder against yours.

"I.... Do"

A few bones in your hand might broke off from the sheer force of her ire.

"You...."

Her growl made your body tremble.

"They're, just in the past"

She grabbed both of your head before pushing you to lay down on the couch.

"I don't care, I've waited so long for you and you can't even do the same? You're even a decade younger than me but you don't have any patience? For me?"

What? What is she talking about? What am I walking into right now?

"Noona, we just met, a week or so ago"

"I don't care, you should've waited for me"

Your face was wet, from her saliva and some tears. That's right, she's crying.

"I-i-i-i'm sorry Noona"

Good news, you felt her hand lower down from your face. Bad news, it's resting on your neck.

"You, fucking, cheater"

It tightened around your neck making let out a choked gasp.

"Noona"

You gurgled out.

"I hate you, I hate you so much"

Is this it? How you gonna die? Was it worth it for a night with Irene?

"Who's the bitch"

She suddenly let go of your neck and grabbed your head again.

"WHO WAS IT"

She screamed at you as you were coughing hard.

"My ex?"

You managed to squeak out.

"Yes, the bitch who seduced my man"

How do I get out of this? Fuck it, let's flirt our way out.

"Baby, it's nobody important, I already forgot about them"

You slowly wrapped her arm around her.

"They're bitches who almost succeed in getting you from me"

She's still mad, but her body atleast responded to your touch.

"They didn't, and even if I met you while I'm still dating them I would still choose you. We were made for each other right?"

Your forced smile is enough to calm her down a little.

"I don't want you to ever meet them again"

You nodded, obviously.

"And I want you to marry me"

You didn't nod, obviously.

"Say yes"

Fuck how do I get out of this. Uhmmmm, think fast brain, think.

"I, want to be the one who proposed"

She looked at you with discontent.

"Then propose to me"

What now smart guy? You felt your leg started to shake nervously.

"I need to buy a ring"

She snorted.

"I don't need a ring, I need to hear you say it"

Go all out? Fuck it I don't want to die.

"I, want to buy it, for you. I want to make it, romantic"

She frowned, cutely this time.

"You don't need to do that"

She can blush?

"I have to, we only get to, well I only get to propose once right? And we get married once, so I want to put all my effort on it"

Oh my god, Irene is blushing, hard. She looked away from you shyly, a very cute view, if only she didn't try to strangle you to death earlier.

"You're such a flirt"

You were stunned by her words, but recover quickly.

"For you, I have too, because..... I love you, and only you, forever"

She dug her face to your chest before letting out a shy shriek.

"Baby?"

She immediately attacked your mouth. Her hands is holding you from behind and work as your head pillow.

You felt your cheeks getting wet, her little moan and squeal also tells you, she's crying.

"I love you, oh god I love you so much it hurts. Hold me tight babe, don't let me go, never let me go"

She pulled away showing her tearful face.

"Okay babe, I love you too"

She took of your shirt.

"I want you, I want you again inside me babe"

She whined as she took of her's as well.

"I, am tired"

She kisses your cheek.

"I know, I'll do all the work this time. Just lay there okay baby?"

She pulled down your pants before ditching her panties and start grinding her already wet pussy on your dick.

"Hold my hand baby"

She reached out to you. You pulled up your hand and she immediately took it, interlocking your fingers with each other.

With the support from your hand she continues her grinding until your dick became hard.

Without waiting any longer she put it inside her.

"Aghhhhh, baby"

Her hands squeezed yours as her leg was quivering.

"You're, so tight Noona"

You can't help but groan feeling her inner walls is squeezing your dick, ready to milk it until it ran dry.

"I'm the best right baby, I'm better than those bitches? I have the best pussy you ever tried?"

Her eyes is filled with madness and a crave for your praises.

"You're the best one Noona, nothing come close to you"

You let go of her hand and reached to grab her ass.

"Yeah baby, my pussy was molded for your cock, it's perfect, we're perfect, I love you, I love you so much"

Losing it's support she drop down to you and start to nibbling on your neck as her hips start to pick up the pace.

"I love you too Noona"

You moaned feeling her teeth is biting on to your collarbone.

"You're so big, I'm breaking baby, do you want to tear me into two?"

Fuck this succubus is insane

Your hand starts to spank her ass making her moan louder and louder.

"Break me baby, fill me up, I want to feel your cum inside again. Come on, fill me up baby, fill up your Noona with your cum"

Your hip started moving, matching her pace. Every thrust you send made her thighs and ass wiggle. Her moans and screams start to shake matching her body's trembles.

"I'm coming baby"

She moaned as she sinked her teeth to your chest.

"No Noona, you don't get to cum"

You have to do it, how can you pass up the opportunity to dominate Irene?

"Baby please"

She raised her head showing her teary eyes and begging expression.

"If you cum, I will hate you"

You see her face was riddled with shock and fear, those two expression was then mixed with arrousal and lust as you start thrusting her faster and faster.

"Baby pleaseeee"

Her tears ran down her cheek. You almost feel sorry, almost.

"You cum when I cum, understand?"

She bite her lower lips, her tears running down her face.

"Babyyyyy"

Thankfully her whines help pushed you over the edge.

"Cum with me babe"

Your dick start to twitch, then as she felt your cum tainted her inner walls she let out a deep guttural groan as her body went to another seizure.

You felt, tired, drained, you lay on your couch panting as Irene was having an orgasm.

Finally it passed and she dropped to your chest. You hear her sobbing as her tears wet your chest.

"I'm sorry baby"

You decided to caress her head, she let out her cries as she hugged you.

Do you feel sorry for her? Maybe

Do you regret doing it? Fuck no

Finally she stopped crying and raised her tear stained face and her red eyes is looking at you timidly.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry, I just can't.... Stop myself when you're.... Being so cute"

Her tears falling again as she start to kiss you.

Her hands is hugging your neck, her leg is resting quietly between yours.

The kiss was, actually you're not really sure, probably 30 minutes or more.

"I love you baby, I really do"

Finally she finished and just whimper weakly in your ears.

"Okay babe, fuck it's already 7, I need to go"

She shake her head and just lock you in place.

"You're free for the day baby, cuddle me"

Even though her voice sounds so weak and tired you know resisting her now will only make your suffering greater tomorrow.

"I, need to contact my trainer at least"

She shake her head again.

"I don't want you to talk to other woman"

Fucking hell lady.

"Please?"

She then raised her face, it looked tired, but her eyes have some cold fury in it.

"Did you have her number in your phone"

Oh shit, here we go again.

"Yeah, I nee-"

She slapped my chest, it felt weak, but the emotional damage, well it's also weak since you're not that into her yet.

"Delete it"

You felt nervous, trying to make some excuses in your head.

"Why are you hesitating? You want to cheat on me again?"

You winced as she say that, knowing full well, what's gonna come for you for the rest of this relationship.

"I need her contact in case something happened"

She shake her head again.

"No, I don't care, delete it. If you want to say something then tell your friend to relay your message to her"

"Baby please"

"No, I lose you before I'm not losing you again to some scrawny whore who's going to seduce you. No baby, I'm not losing you again, not when I already have you in my arms"

What now? What will your brilliant mind come up with?

"I need it for my career"

She snorted.

"You only need me, if you want to debut just say it and I'll make you debut"

Sugar mommy is a pretty rare thing to have, especially someone this hot.

"Baby, I, need to earn it"

She growled again.

"You, can let me ask her right? I'm just telling her I'm sick"

Her face contorted as she grabbed your chest.

"Fine, but I want to see your chat history. In fact, I want to see your phone and check every single girl you tried to cheat on me with"

Well this is it, it's your life now.

[g-xix]

This might be a strange request but I was watching the new ItalianBach video with Alex, Cam and Arthur and I thought it was really funny and cute that a few times Arthur was like “wait I actually kind of like this.” I was wondering if you could do a little blurb or something with Arthur x Reader where the reader is scratching his back or his scalp or something and basically doing asmr on him without him realizing it’s asmr and teasing him abt the fact he likes it?

Head Scritches | ArthurTV

I normally take YEARS replying to oneshot reqs but this is so cute i litr banged this up in a DAY which isn't too bad... it is quite a short little blurb (great word btw) tho, but i hope you and everyone else reading enjoys nonetheless, anon!

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-just like sorta casually hanging about in Arthur's flat, j chilling n spending time together...

-You're lying across the sofa w ur legs spread across the cushions n Arthur's body on top of yours, cushioned between your legs and on his phone- switching between playing online chess and watching TikToks whilst waiting for his opponent to make the next move

-Your hand just sort of finds itself on his head after a bit, fingers just finding a path through his hair n moving only a little bit...

-"What're you doing?" Arthur mumbles, not moving to get you off, just intrigued with what exactly you were doing whilst he couldn't see you

-"I'm just massaging your head." You hummed, leaning your own head back to relax whilst your fingers threaded through his hair. "Do you want me to stop?"

-"...No, I don't think so." Arthur sounded unsure of himself, bringing a small chuckle from you as you continued your actions inattentively.

-Whilst you were lounging and happily relaxed, Arthur found himself... not agitated, but completely defenceless to how nice it felt. It felt like getting his hair done, but so much gentler and more soothing...

-He felt uncomfortable in how he was sat - he just wanted to lie down and sprawl out - relax all of his limbs and let his head fall limp against you whilst you just ran your hands over his head juuust like that...

-Yet Arthur didn't say a thing in not wanting you to stop what you were doing or think he was odd- or make him explain- or something trivial and unnecessary like that. No, instead he just closed his eyes briefly and savoured that way your fingers ran through his hair, fluffing and messying it. And as Arthur closed his eyes, he only felt more, particularly noticing the way your fingertips seemed to press into the back of his head, right where he had a headache- circling ever so slightly and seeming to chase the achy points away

-It was only when you absent-mindedly drummed your fingers over Arthur's scalp when you noticed Arthur's responses to your touch

-Withdrawing your arm from over your eyes (previously serving as an eyemask for you to rest), you realised that Arthur had literally had a whole-body shiver at what you'd done; drumming your fingers one by one over his scalp

-"Holy shit, sorry, are you okay?" You retracted your hand back from Arthur hastily, though your brows raised in even more surprise as he let out a near whine as you moved back(!) "Arthur...?"

-"Do that again please," He whimpered, the note of desperation on his voice drawing a slight laugh from your voice.

-"What, this?" You drummed each finger over his scalp again with a grin, his neck ticking as he let out a slight groan, drawing a full laugh from your chest, throwing your head back as well. "Is this your equivalent of ASMR?" You teased, seeing a pink flush rise up to Arthur's neck from behind as he stuttered a-

-"M-maaaybe..." In reponse before rushing, "Pleasedon'tstopthough-" which only drew another hearty laugh from you, your fingers reconnecting to Arthur's head nonetheless and messaging over his scalp and running your fingers though his head.

-"Sure I won't," You mumbled in response after a while, smile still on your face. "As long as you're not enjoying it too much..."

-"Too late," Arthur joked in response before hastily grabbing a cushion and pretending to cover his crotch with it with joking heavy breaths.

-A snort left your mouth, grabbing the pillow from besides you to whack him around the back of his head, laughing as you lovingly replied "Shut up and play your chess, neeky", threading your fingers back through your head and going back to sleeping whilst playing with his hair, un-wipeable smile plastered onto your face as you did... <33

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Hang on, j found this whilst scrolling pinterest for a good ATV pic:

THAT'S FUCKING ITALIAN BACH??!?!?!? HE'S HOT?!?!?!?? Istg this new chaos crew squad is acc so leng: ATV, G Clarkey, ItalianBach, Cam, fuckin' even Alex... Bloody hell, absolute sexy demons if i say so myself (as a definite (😬) sexy demon)

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

[luimagines]

Soulmates from the Start Part 7

Final Chapter!!! Wooo!!!!!

Masterlist

First Chapter/ Previous Chapter

Content under the cut!

“Wha- what?” Link looks at you as all the breath in his lungs leaves him at once.

You swallow the spit in your mouth, but it feels like sandpaper going down your throat. “I… I did a very bad thing, Link. I’m sorry.”

Your Link shakes his head, scooting closer to you, holding your hands tighter. “You’re not that kind of person. I know it. Stop this.”

You bite your lips harshly and hang your head in shame. How could he have so much faith in you? Haven’t you done enough damage? How isn’t he angry with you?

“Ok.” Someone else speaks up. “Can I say something?”

You look at him. He’s one of the two you don’t recognize. Green undertunic, red on top, blue hat, pink hair- wait. Pink hair? You can work with that. What was his game again? A Link to the Past?

While you’re busy trying to figure out where you might know him, he takes your silence as permission to keep talking. He puts his hands on his hips and manages a smile. “Whatever it is. It can’t be as bad as you think. You’re clearly shaken. The Rancher here is going to take good care of you, now. We’re not here to make enemies. We’re to end them. No one is in trouble. Got it?”

That last sentence seemed pointed, but you’re too distraught and distracted to figure out who he was actually talking to.

You take another deep breath, holding onto Link tighter and tighter. You’re shaking. You can feel the tremors wreck your nervous system from the top down. Luckily, he seems to meet you halfway, pulling you closer to keep you contained and to keep you close.

Feeling a little braver, you turn to the boy. “Which one are you?”

Because that’s a normal question to ask.

It shows on his face because his reels back in shock, not fully understanding what you mean by that. “...Meaning?” If anything, he seems to calm a little more. “See? How can you know all of our secrets if you don’t even recognize me?”

You flush. He has a point. “Every Link is famous to some degree. But… the only thing I have to go off of is your hair. I don’t recognise the rest of you.”

“I- ok. My hair isn’t supposed to be this color.” He deadpans. You can feel your Link snickering by your side. The untitled one shakes his head. “They call me the Hero of Legend. Or The Veteran. Whichever floats your boat.”

“The Veteran?” Strange name.

He smirks. “Yup! I'm the most experienced hero here. Seven adventures, counting this one!”

Your mouth makes a small ‘o’ shape. That makes more sense. If he’s responsible for and is the protagonist for at least six or seven Legend of Zelda titles, there would have been no way you would have known at first glance. Your breath gets short again. Your lungs feel hollow and heavy. You need to breathe again, but you’re too frozen to make a sound.

Your Link (you refuse to call him anything else) notices your spiked panic and gently rubs circles on your back. “Darlin’, what is it? No one will attack you here.”

You don’t fully believe him. The one they called The Captain, Warrior, has been eyeing you suspicious the entire time you’ve been here. You turn back to Mr. Legend, gulping down more sand. You hesitate to ask. You’re aware this is a loaded question. You have to take a few more deep breaths to even think of making your mouth move the way it needs to speak.

You’ve probably taken too long. Legend now looks nervous.

Your voice is quiet and weak, barely above a whisper. There is very little reason to believe that this is going to end well. “...Do you know Koholint?”

You see it before the others do. His eyes widen and his pupils widen to almost exaggerated proportions. He takes a step back- going as white as a ghost.

The rest of the group looks between you both.

Legend himself begins to shake, staring at you with renewed suspicion and distrust. “How… How do you know that?”

You bite your lip, keeping our eyes on him, watching his fear and shock. You deserve this. You knew better and did it anyway. You should have better self control. Now he’s in front of you. Time to confess your sins. His reaction is all the answer you need.

“She had a beautiful singing voice.” You say, twisting the knife for you both. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“You knew her?” He whispers. 

You shake your head. “No. But I saw you… and her... And the windfish.”

Then he surprises you. He gulps, also meeting you head on as tears begin to pool in his eyes. “Could I have saved them?”

You both know who he’s talking about.

You shake your head.

He takes in a shaky breath, hanging his head- not dissimilar to how you had your earlier. But he nods, surprising you again. “I understand… Who else knows?”

Do you even answer that? Would it do more harm than good? But the look on his face- the bond you share with the boy next to you- the way everyone’s eyes are on you, waiting for you to explain yourself and answer his questions- You can’t bring yourself to lie.. “....Millions.”

Warrior scoffs and finally takes his eyes off of you as spins on his heel. You don’t even bother hiding your flinch.

“It’s true.” You weakly defend yourself. “I’m not the only one.”

“How?” Says the final one you have trouble placing. They called him Hyrule and he does magic. But you can’t pinpoint anything familiar about him that would tell you of his identity. What happened to him? What were his adventures about?

“There’s… stories.” You can’t really answer his question either. The truth would seem cruel, mean and pointless. You know better than anyone thanks to Your Link- it was more than what you saw. Their fears and experiences were real- so real and you had no right to learn what you did.

“Just that? Stories? Down to the details then?” The Hero of Time raises an eyebrow at you. You’ve that look in passing when Link would let it slip through your connection. You never considered how it would feel to be on the receiving end.

It feels worse, somehow. You think you might vomit.

You nod. “....Interactive stories.” Because how else would you explain it? “But yes.”

“So you know us?” The Hero of Winds bounces towards you. At least, he seems more intrigued than offended and suspicious. “Do you know about me?”

You nod. “I do… You wield the Wind Waker… And sailed on the King of Red Lions.”

He laughs, delighted with the recognition. “That’s me, alright! One of the fiercest pirates to ever sail the Great Sea.”

“An interactive story, huh?” The Blacksmith (The Hero of the Four Sword- Hero of Light- Hero of Men- your brain supplies unhelpfully) leans forward from where he’s sitting and puts his palm to his chin, his elbow to his knee. “I bet that’s mighty entertaining. I’ve never heard of a story that you interact with.”

Game- Game- It’s a game- They’re games- They’re fun- They’re for children- Your brain fires off in rapid succession, deepening your guilt. There’s no way you can tell them. They’ll be horrified. They’ll be pissed.

“Games?” Yout Link whispers beside you, turning to you with an unreadable expression. The fur along your hair stands on edge. He’s caught on. “Darlin’ games?! Is that all this ever was to you?”

You flinch violently.

In a last ditch effort to defend yourself, even though you’re fully responsible for your own actions and his anger and awe is fully justified. “Link- please- You know that’s not true!”

He growls.

“I didn’t…”

“Don’t say you didn’t know.” He snarls. “I’ve had you in my head since we were children. Don’t you dare say you didn’t know.”

“I wasn’t going to.” You whimper, letting your chickens come home to roost. “I didn’t think I would have ever met them. Link- I only followed along with your story but I never touched it. I never stepped into that. I know what it was like for you. I remember the sleepless nights- the panic attacks- the fear in your ice cold blood as you journeyed. It felt wrong to take your struggles and make it a game.”

“What about them?” He gestures to his friends. They’re all staring at you with looks of incredulous judgment.

“...I thought it would be just you.” You whisper pathetically. “I couldn’t have known you’d meet them. So many of them don’t even touch your time and era- I wanted to know them! I didn’t think it would have mattered from where I was because they… they didn’t exist, Link! They don’t exist and so many people don’t even think the land of Hyrule is real-”

Your Link rubs his hand down his face, taking a moment to breathe and calm himself down.

“We’re not real?” The Champion, Wild, steps forward. “We’re… toys?”

You bite your lips. “I… wouldn’t go that far. But many would.”

“So this is why you feel guilty.” Your Link mutters, ruffling his own hair roughly.

“....Link, I’m sorry.”

“Just-... give me a minute-!”

You click your mouth shut.

“We’re games.” The Knight of Skyloft sits down on a nearby log. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “It’s incredibly popular actually… So many people love you.”

“Do they?” The Captain scoffs again, turning back and glaring into you. “Toys. That’s what we are. To break and remold as they see fit because we’re not real people to them. That’s not love.”

“That’s-” You struggle to find the words. The stench of betrayal lingers heavily in the air. It’s all your fault. “That’s because you don’t see how many lives you save by just existing, even as a thought.”

“Explain.” The Hero of Time doesn’t leave room for negotiation.

“Your stories… despite your struggles, are lighthearted.” You swallow down figurative glass. “Because they’re told from your perspective- because despite everything, you just wanted to help people. You just wanted to do the right thing. Even when everything was against you, you stayed true and proud and you were so brave-” Your voice catches and you’re shaking again. “You all have so much love… for your people… your homes… your friends and families… They push you forward. They give you a reason to keep going. I-if we… If we could so much as copy a fraction of what it means to have courage, our lives wouldn’t have to seem bleak and… hopeless. What use are ruins in an old world when there is no love to preserve the present?”

Your words silence the group as they mull it over. You're on the verge of tears again. You’re so scared. Your heart is pounding. You never wanted to hurt them. You weren’t trying to hurt anyone. You hiccup and clasp your hands together, trying to lessen the way you vibrate. It doesn’t work. “...I wasn’t trying to do anything wrong… I panicked…”

“This conversation isn’t over.” Your Link curls up his lip, revealing a fang that you’re not entirely sure was there before. “But even if I’m not happy about this, I stand by what I said earlier. You’re not that kind of person. You didn’t do this maliciously.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeat yourself for the nth time.

“I know.” His voice finally softens and he pulls you close to him again. “I know you are. I can feel it in every fiber of my being.”

“If we’re famous even outside of Hyrule,” Wind speaks up again, appearing more calm than the others at the news. “Then why did you stop talking to Twilight? You were avoiding him for a while.”

You hang your head again. “I was with you guys… I didn’t want to risk Link learning something of your adventures that could have ruined the timeline or potentially… ruin the relationship we already had. I didn’t mean to-”

“Are there people who know more than you?” Legend asks again, having calmed down from earlier.

“Yes, of course.” You wipe your eyes, coughing on your own spit. “I… became obsessed- I won't lie or sugar coat, but I am certainly not the craziest fanatic out there. It’s not like I’ve got shrines in my room or collected all the icons and merchandise I can… I thought about getting a few… But again, I didn't want to risk hurting Link if he saw something he recognized when I couldn’t give him a straight answer.”

“Idiot.” Your Link clicks his tongue. It stings but in the way a blade or a fire would. At best, it’s close to tearing a scab. Not the greatest feeling, but you have the inclination to admit he’s not trying to actively insult you.

“Millions…” Warrior throws his back against a tree as he scowls into the space in front of him. “We can’t even be mad at you then. You’re not the only one and you’re not the worst.”

You’re scared to see how they’d react to the people who dress up as them. “Yes, neither the first nor the last. I’m not the only one.”

“But you’re the only one that matters.” A new and dark voice whispered in your ear. It made you jump, making all the hairs on your body stand up on edge.

Your Link jumps to his feet, reaching behind to his hand on the hilt of his sword. He puts his hand on your shoulder, keeping you down on the log before you can get up as well.

“Pathetic, little hero.” The voice taunts. You don’t know where it’s coming from. It seems to be both in your head and yet all around you at once. “It wasn’t my intention for you to find each other, much less so quickly. It certainly complicated some things, but I can’t say that this hasn’t been entertaining in the least.”

“Touch them and DIE.” Link snarls.

“I’d love to see you try.” The voice mocks.

It shakes you to your core. The voice echoes in the clearing you’ve found yourselves in. It circles you, like the shadows of the setting sun. In through one ear, behind your head, teasing the other ear as it makes its rounds.

“Link…” You say softly. This is too much. Why can’t today end already?

Multiple swords are unsheathed in an instant, moving around and getting into a circle around you without muttering a word. They certainly know what they’re doing, even if it isn’t just to protect you specifically. You won’t lie, it does help your heart somewhat if you allow yourself to think that they’re protecting you despite it all.

“Do you feel that betrayal, little hero?” The voice taunts Link again. He said, “They knew about you all along but didn’t share a single detail about themselves.”

“I couldn’t!” You shout impulsively, almost jumping to your feet in the same second. Your Link keeps you down. “I would have if I could have!”

The voice chuckled darkly. His form simmers out from the shadows of the trees, appearing within the circle the other heroes have made, appearing right in front of you. Your heart jumps into the thick of your throat. He looks so much like Your Link, but with solid black abysses for eyes instead the blue you fell in love with.  “....Liar.”

***

You suck in a breath, getting to your feet at once. 

Twilight pulls you back and quickly puts himself between you and the monster that threatens you. This is not the time for this. He points his blade at the shadow man, grazing the flesh of his throat with the tip of his sword. A bead of crimson blooms just beyond the edge of the sharp steel, but the shadow monster doesn’t seem to be impressed.

“You’re no better, little hero.” The creature turns its head to him, cracking it unnaturally as it bends at an abnormally twisted angle. “Have you even told your sweet ‘Darlin’ of the effects that crystal of yours has done to you?”

“I owe you no answers, beast.” He spits, thrusting his sword ever closer to his jugular. “Leave now or lose your head.”

“I am not the beast.” The shadow man sinks into the earth, reappearing behind you, grabbing you by your hair and stealing you away from Twilight. “You are.”

You both scream as the shadowman laughs. Yours; in pain. Twilight’s; in outrage. “Go on! Tell them. Tell what has been done to you!”

“Link.” You gulp, trying to reach behind your head to lessen the pressure. Twilight can see it; the way your hands seem to phase out so you can’t physically touch the being that has trapped you. One wrong move and you could be gone forever.

But Twilight doesn’t know what to say to the creature. He doesn’t understand. You already know that he turns into a wolf. He can remember how you started to research all about wolves just to learn more about him. Not that you told him that part- that was before you started to drift away.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Of course you don’t, stupid boy.” The creature pulls on your hair sharply. Your cry of pain causes Twilight to growl, baring his teeth as the fangs set in his jaw. He doesn’t register the warmth of the crystal- just the bubbling determination to get you away from him as fast as possible.

“See that?” The shadow man starts backing up slowly, ignoring the rest of the group as they all wait on baited breath. “There’s very little man left in him. It’s only a matter of time before the beast inside takes over.”

“That’s not true.” You whimper, trying to get away. 

“It is very true, my pet.” The creature tugs harshly again, toppling you over in an instant. The sound you make when the hit the ground is worrying and it makes Twilight unleash a feral sound. It startles himself, he hadn’t known he was capable of such noises.

The creature seems pleased by the development. “A perfect demonstration, little hero. I couldn’t have done it better myself.”

An arrow flies, nicking the shadow man in the shoulder. A crimsonline blooms from the injury, making him stubble backwards and away from you. Twilight dives to pull you back up, cradling you close.

It appears that the creature wasn’t expecting the attack. Its hubris had caused it to believe that no one would make a move when he had you in his grasp. “Pathetic fools. I’ll be back.”

He slinks away back into the shadows, not sparing any one but you a passing glance. Twilight doesn’t like it one bit and tightens his grip on you.

“Twilight, what the hell?” Wild throws his hands up. “Is there something else we need to know about? Why are they-” He points to you with an arrow. It slips from his grasp. “-brought into the middle of this?”

“I don’t know.” Twilight grumbles. If he had things his way, you would both be meeting under very different circumstances. “But they’re here now and the shadow wants them for some reason-”

“It claimed you were changing-!”

“I can feel him. He’s not changing.” You speak up, still shaking. Twilight tightens his grip on you. Despite… everything, the rose around his heart is too real and too intricate for him to bash his way through. Any amount of brute force on his end would crush the already delicate foundation that it’s built. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to comfort instead.

You’ve had one hell of a day. You both have. Twilight doesn’t want to ever repeat those terrifying hours of not having you connected to him. And thinking about it, there’s no misplacing that amount of guilt and sadness in your voice and soul for him to think you would have hidden all that you did out of malice.

You were that kind of person. He’s said it already. He’s said it twice, even.

“What do you mean?” Four speaks up, tilting his head, keeping his sword unsheathed. Nobody else seems keen on putting their swords away after the not too violent attack on their senses. They had thought this was a safe space. Apparently not.

You gulp and cling to him like a lifeline. He holds you. “I have him. He’s mine. I can feel him. And I’ve had him for as long as I can remember. He’s always been the same.”

Twilight sighs and hides his face in your hair. A hand of his comes up to gently soothe down the spots where the monsters had viciously grabbed you. You relax within seconds, leaning more of your weight on him and loosening your grip.

“We should move.” Time growls, not dissimilarly to how Twilight was earlier. “We can’t risk having the shadow come back while our backs are turned. We need to find a spot to camp for the night.”

“On it!” Warrior twirls his sword, taking Legend and Wind without a second thought. They lead the group as scouts while everyone else picks up their equipment to follow them. Everyone gives you both passing glances but no one says anything.

You’re his soulmate. He’ll figure out what to do with you. You’re here now; he has to take care of you and make sure that thing never comes close to you again. Today was too close. It was toying with you both. If it ever so much as looks at you the wrong way, he’s going to rip out its throat.

His grip on you increases subconsciously and you squirm.

“I know you’re mad.” You whisper. It rings more through your connection than through his ears.

“Not at you.” Twilight huffs. He’s decided it. You’ve been chased, hunted, cut, bruised, thrown about and frightened within an inch of your life. He’s already told you that he’s forgiven you. He’s not going to take it back.

You’ve already apologized and cried him a river. Something he never in a million years would have asked for. What more does he want from you?

“How?” You say, looking up at him. The cut on your cheek makes him grit his teeth. You’ll survive, he knows this. He’s still not happy about this. He’s not happy about any of this.

But it’s never been your fault.

“...Even if you know our secrets-” he starts and takes a deep breath to steady himself. The others have all left save for Wild, who doesn’t want to leave you alone on the off chance that danger still lurks in the shadows. “-it’s not inherently wrong to know about us. If we are toys in your world-”

“Please don’t say it like that-”

“Let me finish.” He takes another deep breath, looking into your eyes. “If we are only stories and games to other people, you know better. You know we’re real. That I’m real. And while others would brush us off as fiction, you went in with a different mindset entirely. You wouldn’t feel so guilty if you didn’t see how badly it could have gone. I can’t fault you for the place you’re from or how other people see us.”

You lip wobbles once more and you collapse against him, properly hugging him back at long last. “You’re too good to me.”

Twilight tries to fight another snarl. Was the shadow creature right? He wasn’t this beastly before…. And he has been using the crystal more often now that he’s with the group. “I’m still processing everything, but I personally think that what should take priority now is keeping the shadow away from you and making sure that you don't get hurt. Do you fight?”

You still have the energy to give him the flattest look ever. “Link, you already know the answer.”

His lips twitch up. “Forgive me for asking anyway?”

You drop your forehead to his shoulder. It gives the impression it would hurt if he wasn’t wearing his layers and wolf pelt. “...Fine.”

A beat passes. Wild stands a little ways away, looking through his sheikah slate for something Twilight can’t be bothered with. Not while you’re in his arms and slowly sinking deeper into the embrace. “How’re you feeling Darlin’?”

“Tired.” You sigh. “I’m exhausted. I’ve never run so much in my life.”

He snorts and shakes his head good naturedly. “Come on. We’ll walk from here on out. The group should make camp soon enough.”

You blow a raspberry but break away from him. Twilight all but dives to take your hand, capturing it in his hold. You hold him back without question.

Do you really think I’m not changing? He asks through the bond, not wanting Wild to overhear him.

You lean your head against him again and shrug. Mentally, psychologically? No. Physically? Not really. Although admittedly, I’m not the best judge of that. However the fangs are new.’

Fangs? Twilight raises an eyebrow, bringing his free hand to poke at his teeth. 

He has fangs.

And they retract apparently, given that he can feel the sharp point receding the more he calms down. That’s new.

I just said that.

Twilight smiles. You’re feeling better already. You have to be feeling better to banter like this with him again. It’s like a weight’s been lifted from your shoulders. It feels lighter on Twilight too.

Does it bother you? Twilight tries to ask casually. He’s aware he looks different from the people of your world. You haven’t ever seemed bothered by it before but then, he’s never asked.

No. They’re hot. 

You trip over yourself.

Twilight snickers, covering his mouth with his hand. You blush brightly, still holding onto his hand even if you’re unable to meet his eyes.

“That,” you say out loud, “was a little more honest than I was intending.”

“I would rather if you both kept your flirting in your heads.” Wild rolls his eyes, coming forward at last. He has a sword in his hand. Twilight feels the need to protect you flare up, but it’s strange. He’s never felt threatened by Wild before. This is weird. He’s being weird? Is he being weirder than before?

“Here.” Wild snorts, seeing the way Twilight gets offended. He hands you the sword.

You take it, inspecting it. “A flame blade?”

“You recognize it?” Wild seems surprised. “Oh wait- duh. You know my story too?”

You nod. “...Yours was fun…. I yelled at you a lot.”

Wild deadpans. “You’re Twilight’s soulmate alright.”

You laugh. Actually laugh.

Twilight takes a deep breath, feeling the sound penetrate to the deepest marrow of his bones and fill him outward with such a peace he didn’t even know was achievable. Is that corny? Screw it, he’s a farm boy. He can handle corn.

You swing the flame blade experimentally, a bright smile that only spells trouble for Twilight’s (and the group’s) future. A small tail of fire follows the path of the sword. Twilight thinks he recognizes this. It’s not his powerful variant of this weapon but it can be held in one hand and deals a decent amount of damage regardless. Setting the opponent on fire usually helps with that.

This choice was purposeful.

Twilight wants to feel grateful that Wild is already looking out for you too, but the fact that you seem a little too excited about it has Twilight reconsidering the option.

“I love it.” You grin at Wild and it fills Twilight with a familiar sense of dread. “Do I get to keep it?”

“So long as you swing it at the other guys and not towards us.” Wild gives you that same smile.

You giggle, hopping excitedly on the balls of your feet as you grip the hilt of the sword tighter..

Twilight groans and has half the mind to smack Wild. “Why did you give them that?”

“They need something to protect themselves with.” He says decisively, leaving no room for argument.

“...But the flame blade?”

You pause and look back at Twilight. He can vaguely feel where your thoughts are going. But before he can stop you, you speak up with a wide grin. “If this is a problem, can I have the one that freezes stuff instead?”

“Let’s stick with the fire.” Twilight finds himself saying. The only thing worse would be to give you something that would inevitably backfire on all of them. A fire is (unfortunately) more their field of expertise.

Wild chuckles, knowingly giving Twilight a wink over your head. You seemed to enjoy Twilight’s disgruntlement very much, laughing at his expense when he agreed to the weapon. He’s in trouble. He barely fought that.

“Well, that’s all from me.” Wild gives a mock salute as he begins to walk away. “I’m going to catch up with the others.”

“Thank you, Link!” You call out to him and he smiles.

“I think you’ll fit in just fine. Just give the other guys some time to adjust.” He says and walks away.

You gulp quietly and nod. You look down but have nowhere to put your new toy flame blade. “Hmm… That could be a problem.”

Twilight rubs his temple before you shove the sword in his direction.

“Oh wait-! You’re my boyfriend! Hold it for me?”

He coughs but takes it on instinct. He stares at you for a comment before your words sink in. He blushes, feeling it crawl up his neck to the tips of his ears. He hooks the blade to his back, converging with his other sword.

You smile nervously and take his hand again. “...Are we good?”

“We’re good.” He says softly, bringing our hand up to kiss it. “Come. A new chapter awaits us.”

“I can’t wait.”

[artemis32]

subjugation vi

i'm on my period and i am dying, so - here's a drabble no one asked for

****

subjugation masterlist

Thinking about EraserMic and how they treat you while you're on your period.

If you thought they were overbearing before, you have no idea how little breathing room you'll have now - literally.

Let's follow the order of events.

First, you'll become snippy with them, even more short off than you usually are. Normally, they can ignore your sharp quips and snarled words and move on with the conversation, but really, with the way you're acting, they can't let that kind of behaviour slide.

There's really no other way to describe it - you were being a bitch. A nasty one.

So they punish you in that strange way of theirs, forcing you to keep them company, overwhelming you with their presence, metaphorically force-feeing you their presence.

That does nothing but make it worse, pushing your already irritable mood to the edge.

Except this time, instead of snapping at them and lashing out as you usually would, you're pushed to the more emotional side of things.

Hizashi is horrified when you burst into tears in the middle of the living room, sniffling as you try in vain to mop up your tears with your shirt sleeve.

He'd expected you to become emotional, just not like this. You hardly ever cried, and even when you did, you tried to make sure it wasn't around the two of them.

You probably thought it made you look weak. What a ridiculous notion.

He lays a hesitant palm on your shoulder, patting it awkwardly as he murmurs softly.

"...you okay?"

As your sniffles grow to sobs, he cringes back.

He discusses it with Shota that night while you sleep, having gone to bed early. It was unusual for you to be exhausted this early in the evening, but the two took the opportunity to discuss your recent odd behaviour.

They talk in circles for most of the night, never settling on one reason for your outburst.

A few days later though, all is revealed.

You could try to hide it for a bit, but you won't last all that long. Not with two observant, seasoned pro heroes monitoring your every movement.

Try as you might, you can't hide the pain on your features, or the odd grimace here and there, or the fact that you're using wads of toilet paper as pads.

Unsurprisingly, you hadn't had your period in the months following your abduction. Who would've thought that extreme stress and anxiety would cause your period to be all but non-existent.

That unfortunately meant that the house wasn't very well equipped to handle a woman or her cycle.

Pads or tampons? Zero.

Pain killers? Ziltch.

Heating pads? None.

Chocolate? Nada.

But once they'd realised what was really going on, the situation was quickly remedied.

That's how you found yourself smothered under a pile of blankets, squished between the two pro heroes on the couch, being forced to drink warm tea by the cupful.

In a way, it was almost... nice?

It was warm and comfortable, and the painkillers Shouta had all but shoved down your throat had done wonders for your cramps. And it didn't hurt that they weren't trying to talk to you, or interact with you at all beyond the occasional shift in positioning.

Not to mention, the crushing weight of their bodies on you felt almost soothing.

(Also Shouta had such nice, warm hands - they're large too, comforting as they encompass your lower stomach, gently massaging the cramping, bloated area).

That's how you find yourself dozing off as some or other reality tv show plays on in the background.

****

They'd act like that all week, treating you like some fragile kitten, careful not to make any sudden sounds or movements.

Of course, they go back to usual as soon as your period is over, but for those glorious few days, it's as if they almost don't exist, only ever bothering you to bring you what you want.

It's almost worth the cramps, back aches, tender breasts and awful mood swings.

Almost.

Except, a few months down the line, Hizashi realises he has a thing for period sex, and it definitely doesn't hurt that it's supposed to help with cramps.

You can't blame him, he's just trying to help you.

So what if he gets off in the process?

****

Hizashi is a period sex kinda man and you can't convince me otherwise. Man's is nasty.

I'll definitely expand on this some other time :))

[laurenkmyers]

once again, i got thoughts

i think the dad story line was played beautifully. it made the most sense to me. the threat of the dad being a murderer and killing someone rak came to love and rely on (uncle doctor) instead of having him actually be a murderer was brilliant storytelling.

it not only highlighted how "normal" men can be just as scary, just as terrifying, and just as manipulative as "real" criminals can be, but it shows a deep-rooted, human aspect of real trauma and how powerful words can be, and how they're used to manipulate and influence someone. especially someone as young as rak was when his father started his abuse.

rak was abused physically once as far as we know, and from what the story told us, the mum took that one incident and finally said enough and got her kids away. so as far as we know, the physical abuse was a one time thing and it never happened again. but what didn't stop was the emotional abuse. rak was so traumatised by that one incident that he created a monster in his head (and dont get me wrong, the man is a real monster) that was actually far worse. because now he has even more power over rak. because rak thinks his dad has the power to not only control him and his family, but that he also has to power to destroy anyone who might come into his life, and most importantly, anyone he loves. and that's the most terrifying thing of all. it's why he's convinced himself love doesnt exist, because if it does, his dad will just rip it away again.

jak uses his words to get exactly what he wants, from both the mother and the son. it's probably how he got the mother in bed and in that contract in the first place. he's good at what he does. and is still being paid handsomely by both of them. so he stays away, for the most part. until he can gain MORE from them, and with the cousins scheming he sees an in. but also finding out about mahasamut, and that they have 'an arrangement'. he probably thought, 'out with the old and in with the new'. he thinks mut is just a younger version of him, moving in on what he deems to be *his*

but the most important thing to take from this part of the story line, for me anyway, is that words are power. it's why rak being a fiction writer is so fucking important. because he wants to control the narrative. he wants the power that was stolen from him as a child back. and writing is his only form of release.

it's also why we see rak respond so differently to mut's dominance than he does jak. because jak uses dominant words to scare and manipulate rak, and rak retreats so easily back into the shell of his former traumatised baby self that he can't see a way out but to obey and listen, but jak's actions actually speak that of a weak, pathetic little man who wouldn't know real power if it punched him in the face.

cue mahasamut.

he uses words to soothe, and comfort, and to show the world that positivity, determination, and kindness reach far greater heights. but it's his actions that speak to who he truly is. and i think this is what scares rak the most, not in the same way his dad scares him, but mut scares him because he's not used to men actively showing him, time and time again, what real love is.

and next week we're finally going to see the story shift back to our beautiful, wonderful, walking green flag mahasamut, and the struggles he's facing. because he's the most selfless character of all. he loves rak so fiercely and won't want to give him up for anything. but he's also built a beautiful life for himself. he has his own dreams, his own aspirations, and it's time we come full circle with our relationship and see how rak can prove, through actions not words, how much mut means to him too. i'm beyond excited to return to that gorgeous island i just know they're both going to call home one day.

god, i think this show is brilliant. i really do. is it perfect? no. but i never expected it to be. but what it is, is real, and powerful, and beautiful, and messy.

[litteralyjustawriter]

"Could you hold me for a bit?"

Spencer Reid x GN!Reader angst to fluff

! Set after Season 2 EP 15 !

angst to fluff, no pronouns used, Criminal minds spoilers

You weren't the type to go to bed very early, contrasting your coworkers, most specifically Dr. Spencer Reid. Spencer went to sleep early on the rare occasions he didn't have work, even then sleeping on the plane rides back no matter the length. Point is, Spencer was not one to interrupt his quote-on-quote "beauty sleep", as Derek liked calling it, so seeing him on your doorstep late at night was certainly a surprise.

"Hey I'm really sorry-" Spencer whispered, red in the face from both tears and anxiety, with his hands fidgeting close to his torso "I just needed to be with someone and I just figured- I mean I guess you were the first person that came to mind"

You moved aside from the door, a hint Spencer immediately took by walking into the house.

"Thank you, I know it's late but-" he paused, being met with the confusion on your face he continued, "It's kind of a stupid reason."

"I'm sure it's not as stupid as you make it out to be." You assured him as you locked the door and led him to your living room couch. "What's bothering you Spence?" You ask as you sit, patting the spot to your right, gesturing him to sit down, of which he does.

"It was a nightmare, most likely trauma induced, it's weird we see all sorts of horrible things at the BAU but this one thing- I don't know- it just kinda stuck." Spencer's eyes were fixed on his hands twisting and turning into each other on his lap.

"What was it?"

"You remember when I was kidnapped? With Tobias, his dad, and Raphael? I don't know- I just can't get that stuff out of my head- no matter how hard I try it just keeps coming back." He paused, "It was so real, like I was back in that chair- back in that shed- back in that graveyard-"

"Hey-" you cut him off, "you don't need to think about that now ok? You're here and you are safe, that's all that matters."

Spencer met you with silence, poorly hiding his appreciative smile. "I know this might seem weird but could you hold me for a bit? Just till I go back to sleep?"

You immediately followed his request, laying down on the couch with him soon after, placing his head on your chest and curling into a loose ball. Rubbing your hand in circles on his back you watch as the serious doctor unravels into your touch, slowly drifting to sleep.

(sorry if this kinda sucks I'm on the aromantic spectrum and have never written anything like this :p)

[mustainegf]

Something dumb I wrote the other night

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟑 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 ¹⁹⁹⁶

Quiet is all that surrounds us, the kind of hush one could wrap around themselves like a blanket. Curled up beside me, she is a soft curve against the bed, our bed. She had been everything to me for so long, but now, with her belly full of our baby, she was something else, something even more special.

She was the mother of my child. Seven months. Seven months of watching her change. Seven months of feeling the baby move beneath my hands. Seven months of watching her smile, a soft smile that somehow gets brighter with each day.

I swear I'm just about to fall asleep when it happens, a tiny, almost silent sniff. My eyes pop open, my heart constricting at the sound. I thought that by now I'd gotten to know her well enough to tell when something's wrong, even though she tries to hide it.

"Sweetheart?" I whisper into the darkness, turning toward her. My reaching hand finds her arm, warm, soft, and familiar under my fingers.

She doesn't answer but sniffs again. Her body trembles a bit. That cuts deep, hearing her like this, in this kind of struggle. I scoot closer and close the little space between us. press my chest to her back, wrap my arm around her, feel the roundness of her belly against my arm, a gentle movement of life, what we created, moving inside her.

"Hey," I murmur again, my voice low. I nuzzle my face into her hair, breathing in her scent. "Talk to me, love. What's going on?"

She takes a shaky breath, and I know she's trying to keep it together, to be strong. "I don't know, James," she whimpers. "I just… I can't sleep. Everything feels… I don’t know, and my mind won't stop.”

God, that hurts to hear. We've been through so much already, carrying our baby, all I wish now is that it were some weight of mine to bear so she might find a little comfort. Sadly, All I can really do is be here, holding her, letting her know she's not alone.

I shift her gently onto her back and prop myself up on one elbow to look at her. Her face is pale, her eyes red rimmed from holding back the tears. "You are doing so much, love," I say. "You're carrying our baby, and that is no small thing. It's okay... It's okay to lean on me.”

She gives me a nod, but I see the fight in her eyes.

I had to bend a bit and set a soft kiss onto her forehead, then another onto her temple. "Come here," I whisper, pulling her into my arms. I settled her against my chest, and one hand cradles her there while the other draws slow, soothing circles around her back. She takes a deep breath, and her body relaxes a little as she snuggles closer to me.

I can feel the baby moving in her, little flutters that spike a smile onto my face despite how heavy it feels in this place.

"You remember our song?" I ask softly, my lips brushing against her silky hair. "The one I wrote for you?"

I don't think she has to say anything. We both know the song. "Nothing Else Matters" was how I was telling her that she means everything to me, that she would always mean everything to me. We knew it back then, and still we do.

I begin to hum the melody coming from my chest. Her body relaxes further, and she seems to melt into me as she listens. Then, I sing, and the words come falling from my lips.

"So close, no matter how far… Couldn't be much more from the heart…”

My voice is soft, just for her, just for our baby. I keep it gentle, like a lullaby, hoping it'll help ease her back to sleep.

"Forever trusting who we are… And nothing else matters…”

As I sang, I felt her breathing slow, consciousness leaving her body. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and kept singing.

"Never cared for what they do. Never cared for what they know.”

Her hand drifts to rest on her belly, and I take it in mine. I can feel our baby move beneath our hands, a little kick and a roll.

"And I know… So close, no matter how far…”

I just keep singing, and by the time I get this far, her breathing has evened out and I’m pretty sure she is asleep. Her body is warm and heavy against mine, and I press yet another kiss to her hair.

I raise my voice slowly, only after being sure that she actually is deeply asleep, I leave my singing to the silence of the night. I lift my hand from hers and gently rub her tummy, with the baby's movements slowing down too. I lean, pressing my lips into her stomach.

"There there little one," I whisper to my son or daughter. "Mama's asleep now… you let her rest now, okay?"

Nothing else matters, nothing ever will. Not the fame, not the noise of the world. All that matters is here, in my arms.

I pull back a little in order to kiss her tummy again. "I love you," I whisper, to both of them.

She wriggles slightly in her sleep before she gives a faint sigh from her lips and then lies still. I press her to me, and my hand never leaves her belly. The night is still now, peaceful, and I close my eyes, holding the two loves of my life.