#sobersides

[wtsnqav99bq]

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[mjbjs724ncwaf]

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[femmefatalevibe]

What advice/resources would you recommend for someone who is trying to decentralize her life from men (or really anybody other than herself)?

Any books/videos/advice/etc. that you have would be great!

Thanks! Your blog helps me so much xo

Hi love! I'm so glad to hear this <3. Sharing some tips/resources below. Hope this helps xx

How To Decenter Men In Your Life:

Consider the values, goals, and desired lifestyle that feel most authentic to you if social scripts/stigmas didn't apply to you

Take time to become radically honest with your desires as an individual – outside of the perception of men, your family, boss, teachers, peers, etc.

Cultivate a sense of personhood and identity established in your interests, hobbies, skillsets, learning capabilities, creativity, and desire for growth in all aspects of life

Act in your own best interests. Speak up for your needs, and advocate for yourself. Be more "selfish." Don't apologize for what you want and go after it. Act in your own best interests

Become confident in negotiating, assertive communication, and standing on your own two feet. Establish relationships in all aspects that are based on mutual benefit and equitable exchange

Unlearn your self-sacrificing & people-pleasing. Stop shrinking yourself or suppressing your needs to make others feel better or more comfortable

Validate yourself: your needs, desires, goals, dreams, preferences, and opinions. You need to choose yourself every day. Your appeal to others means nothing if you don't like the person you are or are becoming to satisfy the needs or desires of others

Consider the ways you're consciously and subconsciously confining your self-expression and belief system to fit the mold/appease the patriarchy. Actively work to deconstruct this mentality and way of being

Be honest with yourself about how men enrich your life. Not the other way around. Do they fulfill you romantically, sexually, both, or neither? There's no right or wrong answer, except the one that requires you to put on a performance rather than live in alignment with your true self

TikTok Creators:

Melanie Hamlett (LOVE her! My favorite creator/author on this topic.)

Katie Jgin

Soberside

Rose Hackman

Hope Peddler

Therese Lee (@thereselee6)

SpirtualWhistleBlower

Books On Decentering Men:

A Single Revolution by Shani Silver

Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein, Ph.D

What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue 

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Enjoy Your Solo By Mary Delia Allen

How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz

Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen 

We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives by Manon Garcia 

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling  Men by Lundy Bancroft 

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All by Laura Bates

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley  

[limeade-l3sbian]

AND NOW, PART ONE TO THE FINALE OF ...

By @rad-by-nature

Dear sister of mine,

I recall mentioning a time when I had said I might idle through the decent street of Radblr County for a short time and return home as promptly as travels by the horse would allow. Hearing tells of the place had appealed me to, at the very least, concede to a nose around.

But much as I am inclined to return to what I know, I am writing this with a frank heart and a sincere intention; I am to be staying in Radblr County.

Before you send the others to haul me back, I’d ask that you at least hear me out and understand my days and life here. The good, the bad, and the rad.

I can’t speak on the finer details of the morning. Half tripped over @doctor-shopping on my way in to the shop the other morning. She's not even allowed at the saloon since she kept starting stuff so I don't know where the hell she's getting the booze to be that leaned over.

At any rate, my morning consists of setting up the shop [oh yeah, I run a shop now] with second hand bought trinkets and books that were worn before I’d even had a chance to handle them. Most of which come in from the hands of passing cowboys and idling strangers who want a little extra coin to spend down at the saloon, run by sobersided @valeriesolanaswasright. Try and flirt your way out of a tab all you want, she's heard it all and getting riled up about it isn't gonna do a thing except get you kicked out. She's already had to cover the shift for a weird ass barmaid by the name of @coldleg that up and left outta nowhere, so it’s best not to push your luck with her.

Though, I will say she is generous with the libations when it comes to the ladies and seems to call on @daughter-of-aletheia more times then I know her to truly be needed. Might be just might imagination. Though, I've never had much wonder.

The saloon is truly the heart of the town, swilling with liquor, music, and dance. The rules are far and few. You paid your tab on time, you didn't cause trouble, keep your eyes off @sigmafemale-grindset 's chest, and pay your tab on time (yes, that goes double). If you had a problem with that, there was always the more than apt alternative of @nansheonearth 's juke joint. It was just as lively and a common place for the arch inclined @ltoxton when she wasn't breaking hearts by disappearing for another few weeks.

I had thought for a time she was a bounty hunter; a seeker in the sand like @halfelfproblems or @leechesandcream or perhaps a night stalker like The Crossdresser (@romanofficialt if you're kindly). But by the modest coin she brought with her, I thought otherwise in no time.

I share a common exchange of goods for secrets with @marrowdaughter. More often than not, I'm able to gather things I've missed from her given the greater need for her services. But neither of us had needed any sort of secondhand word the day of the duel.

@radicalblunt was shining especially bright that day; blazing if you will. Much fun as duels are to see, it's the mess left behind that's always the bother. You could hear @jackalopiel bray the moment @femmesandhoney hit the ground, hissing and hollering in pain. You could hear a few audible groans at the sight of @vivianfanaccount bounding out of her church, waving the word and her bible to the already seething body of @femmesandhoney. She vowed to save @femmesandhoney 's soul. A useless vow, I'm sure to the woman trying to just breathe.

It was uh… pretty funny. Had a bit of hard time looking her in the eyes afterwards for a week or so but things always get back to normal eventually.

[baggedbloodandmilk]

childe x fem!reader where — reader wants to please the gods, yet he stands in the way

𝘈 𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘢𝘺

The brumal weather caused her to recoil back into the warmth of her cloak. Harsh winds nipped at her skin as she trudged along the barren landscape. She briefly remembered the conversation with a merchant from a few weeks prior as he detailed the famed beauty of the barren wasteland known as Snezhnaya. Although the conversation prevailed as a rant of tommyrot in her current situation—seeing as the man spoke with such speed, she wondered if he’d spoken pangrams. A stark comparison with her sobersided personality.

As the cold pecked her rosy cheeks and her footfall left footprints that disappeared within seconds, her mind drifted elsewhere. Away from the harsh weather of this barren country. Her mind led her through the corridor of memories, where the sun still shone on her rich skin and kissed her hair with gentle breezes. Although futile in an attempt, she tried to substitute the feeling of snow on her bare feet with soft sands from the beaches she once walked upon. Her endeavour to remember the sunny afternoons painting her memories was inefficacious. The fanciful refection that once frequented her slender fingers froze from the frigid gale that turned her pale skin red.

She was never one to be fond of the white snow. It all seemed too blank for her. She always favoured the vivid greenery over the cold and unforgiving whiteness of snow. Although she’d never find herself admitting it out loud, she found some beauty in the unsympathetic sparkles. Only when the little light that peaked through grey clouds hit.

She remembered the feeling of her parasol in her hands, lightweight and carefree. It was a beautiful shade of yellow with soft specks of blue and pink. A gift given to her by a significant other, a promise made between them and her.

Promises, however, are meant to be broken.

No matter how much it hurt to see the copper-haired youth scowl at her very existence as if she were the bane of his hatred. When not too long ago, she was his reason to suspire.

The fleeting touches of his warm fingers against her cold skin, his hair tousled in a way that made it look effortlessly flawless. There was no sight of blemish on his porcelain skin, save for the red marks left after passion-filled nights under the stars of Liyue.

She left all her memories behind, like an ort: left behind when one was done with a heartsome meal. She left behind the quick glances he'd give her as they walked across each other and the soft touches he'd bestow upon her figure regardless of their location. She left behind the delicate words that were said and kept and the stolen kisses he'd planted just before disappearing. She wondered if those confessions were just mondegreens: fickle and irrelevant. 

She desperately hoped they were only that. To save herself the despair, of course.

At times, she caught herself wondering if her memories were of someone else, a cruel joke put on her person. The learning of gramarye wasn’t common but those who indulged in its practices were deemed death-dealing. Especially when those who lost themselves to the intricate beauty of pooling darkness, found it entertaining to prey on those who had no such need for indulgence. An ad absurdum, indeed.

She found herself never wanting to be charmed by such practices, deeming them useless in her case. Too many memoriter aspects within the sinuous language. 

Shuddering from the onslaught of harsh breaths sent from the heavens above, she wondered if the Archons were seemingly displeased with her. Or, they were enjoying her predicament with an embroidered chalice filled to the brim with liquified curses. She detested the Archons. No matter how one put it—how they created the world and gave everything a purpose—she despised them nonetheless.

And to think, she stood at the forefront of their army, head-to-head and toe-to-toe with those who once called her their own. 

Those who once called her a Fatui.

Bondservant, odalisque, ergate.

She was no stranger to the sortie of malign idioms, yet the difference was between those who said it.

They were nothing but sounds in the wind when said by strangers. When they were spoken by him, her resolve would falter. His lips which only spoke in honey and all things sweet once before were now spitting daggers at her figure.

Even now, when he called upon the delusions to aid his case in slaying the “ophidian-creature” he sought after. 

It hurt. More than it should have. More than she led on. She wasn’t supposed to feel such pain in her heart.

She wasn’t supposed to have a heart.

Yet, here she was; against her better judgment. Facing the Egyptian-blue eyes that once looked at her as if, if he could, he would have propined the world in her hands. 

Within seconds of the first call, she moved with adroitness. Her steps were as light as leporine creatures, but her eyes were vulpine, anchored at the blue eyes of those opposing her front. She moved gracefully, ducking and dodging the continuous specks of steel-headed spikes embedded in slender twigs. 

Perform with diligence, little mortal. And we shall endow you with the premiums of the heavens above.

Oh, the taunting smirk of that silver-tongued, geo-wielding jackass really did its job in irking her calm resolve.

You must remember, you are not made from the same filth these beings were made of, he’d remind you. They are but mire under the grace of our footfalls.

Why couldn’t they let you go?

Why must you be doing their bidding?

Why must you be the only one to feel the pain?

To feel the pain of having the blood of your beloved coat your blade, words falling on deaf ears.

“All but a small price to pay… 

…to be able to sit amongst the divine.”

Unspoken words were left afloat,

"I love you, Ajax."

[unbridledbrainrots]

Young hearts

It's the emancipation of our minds. We fly free like a bird; still young at hearts. Fool around from day to midnight like the nitwits. Become drunk cause of juice; no sobersides. Sleepover to oversleep at somebody's.

Love blossoms for all the youths. Immature, but have guts for challenging the odds. Kiss 'em in the hallway; that unforgettable first kiss. Dissolving ourselves ‘til we are blinded with cracks.

Come through the break ups; all become faults. We've been through some heartbreaks; we celebrate our mischievousness, betrayals; far away gone for partying, living the youths before it all dissipate, starts from graduations.

Day by day, this will be indelible; reminisce youths. Giving our life like strawberries and cigarettes.

Note: this one was also published in a magazine managed by my major’s journalistic club years ago.

[oksymagazine]

Sobersided

[diamxndinthedirt]

Anonymous said: Aww Arent you a cutie!

diamxndinthedirt:  

»»————-　♡　————-««

{♥} – If he was amused, his sobersided expression failed to express it. He didn’t even have the heart to feel flattered about it. ❝Yeah, well…maybe, I was born with it. Maybe, it was genetic engineering. I guess we’ll never know.❞ Elmer listlessly tapped some buttons on the register in order to finalise the sale, ❝That’s gonna be $3.62. Do you need a bag with your purchase today?❞

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Damian Wayne's Escapades

by Azure24Pearlz

Damian wayne is sobersided, completely calm even in stressful situations.

Tim Drake would disagree and call him a gremlin sent as a curse from hell for people to atone their past sins.

Or

Damian Wayne decides to observe the Batfamily's reaction in unconventional situations by pranking them.

Words: 866, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain

Relationships: Damian Wayne & Everyone

Additional Tags: Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Tired Tim Drake, Confused Jason Todd, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47411149

[journeyintowriting]

Word of the Day: Sobersides

Sobersides (soh-ber-sahydz)

Noun

1. Slang. a humorless or habitually serious person

[thecompanykc]

Posted @withregram • @gruff_n_stuff Celebrating responsibly. Happy Birthday - The Tape! #gnarlydavidson #thetape #soberside #drunkside #muscletapes #cassetetapes #cassette #rocknroll #heavytapes #thecompanykc #companytape This is still@one of our favorite releases, the concept is hilariously creative. One side recorded sober, one side recorded piss drunk. There are about a dozen of them left in the store. #linkinbio (at The Company) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWIxCDILR2Z/?utm_medium=tumblr

[lorimacface]

It’s been a couple weeks since my last meeting. I’m stepping my meetings up now to going daily. #lorimac #lorimacface #sobersid #hudsbeauty #juviasplace #juviasplacepalette #juviasplacefoundation #soberissexy #soberdsid #sonerbro #sobermom #serenity #acceptance #twelvesteps #higherpower #lovinglife #livesober #friendofbillw #faith #citylips https://www.instagram.com/p/CDKonfdFCCv/?igshid=d0vh0xmny9u

[bsideinacoma]

Wowee. Time sure does fly. I can’t believe I’ve been sober for over 900 days now. This is a rlly long time. I honestly cannot believe I’ve made it this long. It’s practically a walk in th Park now. I rlly don’t ever get tempted anymore bc just th thought of breaking a 900 day streak is ridiculous. I could never do that. I never get the urge to drink or get fucked up anymore at all. It feels so great to be clean for so long. People need to just need to get into making music with synthesizers. Then they would never have money to blow on getting fucked up. It would all be going towards keyboards and synths. LoL #902days #nomorealcohol #soberside #cleanliving #synthnerd #milledpavement #coma #bside #breatheinyourneighborhood (at Eastside, Houston, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsPJ27sAyhN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=100d60adgnda2

[femmefatalevibe]

do you have any book recs for decentering dating/men & being childfree? Ty!!!

I love this ask! Also, check out Melanie Hamlett, SoberSide, and Shani Silver on TikTok for similarly amazing content xx

Books On Decentering Men/Feminist Perspectives On Dating (for the times you're in need, you know):

A Single Revolution by Shani Silver (most important rec, IMO!)

Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein, Ph.D

What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue 

How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue 

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Enjoy Your Solo By Mary Delia Allen

How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz

Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen 

We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives by Manon Garcia 

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling  Men by Lundy Bancroft 

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All by Laura Bates

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley  

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks

Books On Childfree Living:

Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood by Ruby Warrington

Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Amy Blackstone

Confessions of a Childfree Woman: A Life Spent Swimming Against the Mainstream by Marcia Drut-Davis 

Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath

No One Tells You This: A Memoir by Glynnis MacNicol 

25 Over 10: A Childfree Longitudinal Study by Laura Caroll

The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World  by Laura Caroll

The Baby Trap by Ellen Peck

Policing the Womb: Invisible Women and the Criminalization of Motherhood by Michele Goodwin 

Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington 

[sayaka19fan]

Kanji 言 Family - 1 of 7

ドイツ語はやさしい言語じゃない。

ドイツごはやさしいげんごじゃない。

German is not an easy language.

Useful vocabulary:

一言 ひとこと single word, a few words, brief comment (takes the aux. verb suru)

言及 げんきゅう reference, allusion (takes the aux. verb suru)

言い方 いいかた way of talking, speaking style

伝言 でんごん verbal message, word (takes the aux. verb suru)

彼の謙遜さは賞賛に値する。

かれのけんそんさはしょうさんにあたいする。

His modesty is worth respecting.

Useful vocabulary:

謙遜 けんそん humble, humility, modesty, being humble

謙虚 けんきょ modesty, humility (na-adjective)

謙る へりくだる to deprecate oneself and praise the listener, to abase oneself

謙譲語 けんじょうご humble language (e.g. itadaku)

たばこは、お謹みください。

たばこは、おつつしみください。

Kindly refrain from smoking.

Useful vocabulary:

謹んで つつしんで respectfully, humbly, reverently

謹聴 きんちょう listening attentively (takes the aux. verb suru)

謹む つつしむ to be careful, to be discreet

謹厳 きんげん stern, grave, solemn, sobersided

その人は俳諧の名人として、歴史に残るかも知れない。

そのひとははいかいのめいじんとして、れきしにのこるかもしれない。

That man, as a master of haikai might make history.

Useful vocabulary:

俳諧 はいかい haikai, collective name for haiku, haibun, haiga, senryū, etc.

諧調 かいちょう harmonious melody, harmony, unity, euphony

諧謔 かいぎゃく joke, jest, banter

この条件に該当する人は誰もいない。

このじょうけんにがいとうするひとはいない。

There is nobody who fulfils these conditions.

Useful vocabulary:

該当 がいとう corresponding to, being applicable to, relevant to, coming under, falling under, applying to, fulfilling, qualifying as

該博 がいはく profundity, extensive (knowledge) (na adjective)

その日は友人と買い物に行く約束をしていたが、雨に託つけて出掛けるのは止めにした。

そのひはゆうじんとかいものにいくやくそくをしていたが、あめにかこつけててかけるのはやめにした。

Though I had promised to go shopping with a friend that day I decided to let him/her down with the pretext of the rain.

託児所 たくじしょ creche, day nursery

託送 たくさう consignment (takes the aux. verb suru)

託つける かこつける to use as an excuse, to pretend that, to use something as an excuse, to make something the pretext (for) (transitive)

託宣 たくせん oracle (takes the aux. verb suru)

彼が承諾するのはもちろんのことだと思った。

かれがしょうだくするのはもちろんのことだとおもった。

Useful vocabulary:

承諾 しょうだく consent, acquiescence, agreement (takes the aux. verb suru, may take the particle 'no') .

諾諾 だくだくobediently, yes, yes! (na adjective)

諾否 だくひ consent or refusal, yes or no, decision to accept or decline, up or down (vote), assent or dissent, accept or reject

諾う うべなう to agree, to assent, to consent, to obey, to conform

彼女は私の冗談を本気にした。

かのじょはわたしのじょうだんをほんきにした。

She took my joke seriously.

Useful vocabulary:

相談 そうだん consultation, discussion (takes the aux. verb suru)

冗談 じょうだん jest, joke, funny story

談判 だんぱん negotiations, making demands (takes the aux. verb suru)

談笑 だんしょう friendly chat, pleasant chat, lighthearted talk, friendly conversation (takes the aux. verb suru)

彼は討議に参加することが出来なかった。

かれはとうぎにさんかすることができなかった。

He was not able to join in the discussion.

Useful vocabulary:

討議 とうぎ debate, discussion (takes the aux. verb suru)

討伐 とうばつ subjugation, suppression (takes the aux. verb suru)

討論会 とうろんかい debate, panel discussion, forum

討つ うつ to shoot (at); to attack, to defeat, to destroy, to avenge

この辞書の改訂には６年かかった。

このじしょのかいていには6ねんきった。

The revision of this dictionary took six years.

改訂 かいてい revision (of text), alteration, change

訂正 ていせい correction, revision, amendment

訂(する) てい(する) to correct

[siokos94]

Word of the day: Sobersides. A humourless or habitually serious person. . . . #wordoftheday #wordporn #language #dictionary @dictionarycom #vocabulary #sobersides