#some Dark Humour (tm)

[waffelteufel]

Random Dark Urge stuff that blew my mind because it's so fun (and terrifying) [SPOILERS BELOW]

The Alfira scene came totally unexpected and I was literally sitting there with my mouth agape because I was so used to how cute EA had been

Those moments where the Urge gets to you and your character just suddenly goes >:) like a little evil shit

Those random over the top dialogue options

The way you can literally tell your companions from the start that you are a bit cray cray but they're all just "Ah don't worry about it we're literally killing people every day now. We're all a little evil right now :) Just put in that energy when we need it :)" and when you get to That Scene (tm) with your Love Interest in act 2 they suddenly go "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" I DID!!! I DID TELL YOU SFHFSF

THAT SCENE IN ACT2 WITH YOUR LOVE INTEREST... That you can just murder them there?? And you have to roll against yourself? So good

The fact you can try to fucking bite them and sob uncontrollably?? Cinnamon Topography as they say.

You were besties with Gortash!! "I can tolerate Orin. But I liked you". Hello??? I want to be besties with him again???? Gorty let's become Team Rocket please.

Gortash saying that he missed your dark humour or something of the like.

Orin and Durge's rivarly. Slaughter-Kin. Queen...

That lady at the end of act 2 that did horrifying experiments on you and became obsessed?? It was sooo uncomfortable but like in a masochistic way. Fucked up and amazing.

Finding your pod in that mindflayer place and asking Astarion "Humour me Astarion. What does that blood smell like?" "[SNIFF SNIFF] Oh that's you. I can recognize that everywhere lol"

The way Astarion's and your own personal quest mirror each other in a way.

Those dialogue options after you refused to kill Isobel, Nightsong and your Love Interest where it sounds like you are some evil puppy trying to atone for your sins to the most random people, like the freaking circus guy, and going like "I used to be a crazy murderous maniac but I am trying to change my ways <3"

If you get Heal cast on yourself (that high level spell that gives you like 70 HP) you get a mini cutscene in which Durge's mind "knits back together" for a moment and you remember a scene from your childhood. This was so unexpected, I did NOT expect a random spell to trigger story and I loved that.

Realising that you were involved in stealing the Crown from Mephistopheles vault, and that you've been to the Nine Hells before. Finding this out only a little bit after Raphael bitched to you about that lmao.

The fact you're literally playing one of the main bad guys, but with amnesia, and you realise this only in act 3.

[dansevilpianotea]

what are some phancoded songs?

hiiii omg thanks for the ask!! i absolutely love talking about songs i associate with my interests!! (autism has been activated to the highest degree so this will be a long post, you have been warned)

here are some of what i think are classic dnp coded songs:

Guys by The 1975 (i see this as more about the phandom than about dnp tbh but its very very dnp coded no matter how you interpret it) That's So Us by Allie X Still into You by Paramore The Only Exception by Paramore

i have a whole ass 100 song long playlist about dnp but let me give you my favourites that aren't the usual classics:

Eighteen by Pale Waves

This city depresses me But you try to be everything I need We sat on the corner kissing each other Felt like I could finally see in colour I was 18 when I met you Poured my heart out, spilt all my truth I finally felt like I could feel for the first time When I met you

i mean????? thats 2009 dan and phil????? dip and pip??? hello!!??

also fun fact!!: this band is from manchester and this song was written by their non-binary drummer and lesbian lead singer (who lowkey gives lesbian version of dan). you should rlly listen to pale waves. idek if theyve heard of dnp but theyre true phannies to me.

Starlight by Muse

this song, man. never heard of muse until i got into dnp and then i this song was the first one is listened to.

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms

i feel like it says sth about the expectations of being in a relationship while also presenting yourself on a massive public platform. wanting to be authentic and produce content^tm vs. being closeted and wanting to protect your relationship. 'I will be chasing a starlight, Until the end of my life, I don't know if it's worth it anymore'. Is worth it to constantly push the content out while feeling like a fraud for being inauthentic about your identity? 'And our hopes and expectations, Black holes and revelations'. the future may seem very dark and hopeless sometimes, it may not turn out how we expect or hope, but only once we face instead of fight it (embrace the void etc) we will forgive our past selves and see that the future really is bright. so yes, very dnp coded.

Anniversary by Autoheart

Years of nothing have subsided We have fixed each other up Giving you up? What are you on about? I'll never give up believing in us Giving you up? Now why would I do a thing like that? No I’m not giving you up, no way I will never stop when it comes to you

this song is not only dnp coded (kind of an october 19th theme song) but also has gained a new meaning since the return of dnp games <3. they didnt give up on us. they came back. and we really helped each other get here <3. think about it like that when listening and i guarantee you will be sobbing. the song also has some marriage themes bc theres wedding vows during the bridge so i will just let you live with that <33

Where the Lines Overlap by Paramore

Tracing patterns across a personal map And making pictures where the lines overlap No one is as lucky as us We're not at the end but oh, we already won Call me over And tell me how Well, you got so far Never making a single sound I'm not used to it But I can learn

we werent ready for their comeback / we're still learning to get used to it / just look at them / boiling frog theory / hard phaunch / do i need to say more

Yellow by Coldplay

this song became part of my playlist when phil didnt know a single coldplay song. unfortunately i cant take it serious anymore after dan was turned into a golden pig, then was literally glowing golden during a book event all while #pissyourself4dan was trending and every phannie on twt made their pfps yellow. i will curse your mind to with the lyrics and mental imagery: (im sorry but im also not bc this is how my autism thinks humour works)

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow ✨✨ Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful ✨✨✨ And you know, you know I love you so 💛

✨✨✨

(im sorry again)

Safe & Sound by Tonight Alive

Dan in BIG: "for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe."

Nothing compares to what we share I don't have a care in the world Cause even if it all came crashing down, As long as you're around, I'll be safe and sound. 🧡

ending it with a nice one because its beautiful and sappy and its so them afterall. they really won rpf.

thank you for this ask, i enjoyed answering it!! (im sorry for taking so long. im on day 11 of a cold so ive not had much energy.)

[kattahj]

The next half-dozen queer Thai shows I have watched! This time around, it's not just boys' love, but also girls' love and polyamory. Also, there's a lot more action-adventure this time around, with three plot-heavy, rather violent shows! Those are the ones I like best of the bunch, btw. :) And don't worry, they still have happy(-ish) endings!

Manner of Death

What's it about? City doctor moves back to a small town and immediately gets involved in a murder mystery. Also, the prime suspect is really hot.

Genre: Crime drama

Watch if you enjoy: Plot-heavy stories with twists upon twists upon twists. Seemingly nice towns being dens of corruption and vice. (Shit gets pretty dark!) Speedrun romance – no need to wait until the end for a kiss here!

Gayer version of: Somewhere inbetween Blue Velvet and L.A. Confidential

Recommended? Yes! Just make sure you can stomach onscreen murder and offscreen rape. Truth be told, I was a little iffy on it at first, but then it ate my brain, and now it's among my favourites.

Watched on: Dailymotion

Trailer: https://youtu.be/a4b-d_XyLV0

I Told Sunset About You

What's it about? Teh and Oh-Aew are childhood friends, but their love for acting causes some friction when they're competing first for the same part, and later for the same university position.

Genre: Coming of age

Watch if you enjoy: Low-stakes drama. Heavy focus on the central pairing and its romantic complications. Genuine, emotional acting (lots and lots of crying). Characters making foolish, selfish decisions that nevertheless make perfect sense for them to make. Very nuanced secondary love interests.

Gayer version of: My So-Called Life

Recommended? Yes, but I actually ended up NOT wanting these two to be together.

Watched on: Dailymotion

Trailer: https://youtu.be/KIylNdQuR-w

GAP the series

What's it about? Mon idolizes Lady Sam and is thrilled to start working at her company. Her dreams are soon crushed, though, when it turns out that Sam is a cold and demanding boss. The truth is that Sam is under pressure from her grandmother to uphold the royal image.

Genre: Melodrama

Watch if you enjoy: The grumpy one loving the sunshine one. Supportive girl gangs, including a butch lesbian hottie. Tentative attempts at a first relationship. Gossip mills in action.

More lesbian version of: Starts out as The Devil Wears Prada, quickly moves into Young Royals territory.

Recommended? Kind of? It's nice to see some lesbians for once, and the leads have good chemistry. I also really like Sam's catty girl gang. The story is a bit weak at times, and I wasn't always convinced that these two were right for each other. The humour isn't my style either. So it's a bit of a mixed bag, but definitely worth the effort if you want some girl loving!

Watched on: YouTube

Trailer: https://youtu.be/f7Kso0QOaiE

Together With Me

What's it about? Best friends Korn and Knock have a drunken one night stand. Afterwards, they try to forget all about it. After all, Knock already has a girlfriend. Meanwhile, their friends have relationship troubles of their own.

Genre: comedy (mostly)

Watch if you enjoy: More MaxTul after Manner of Death (but in a vastly different genre). Lots of double entendres and also single entendres. Bitchy girlfriends and sassy girl friends. (Yiwha and Faii ftw!) An ensemble cast where everyone makes terrible decisions and no one has even heard of boundaries.

Gayer version of: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Recommended? I would say it is highly entertaining trash. :) It takes a while to kick into gear (but no time at all before sex), but then becomes kind of addictive. Just be aware that every single person in this is some flavour of Problematic (tm).

Watched on: YouTube

Trailer: https://youtu.be/lxX9UkhTCO0

Triage

What's it about? Young doctor Tin finds himself in a time loop. In order to make it stop, he has to save the life of a specific patient. His only help is an annoyingly cryptic angel.

Genre: supernatural mystery/medical drama

Watch if you enjoy: The same writer as Manner of Death. Plot-focused show. Lots of tense medical situations, and even tenser interpersonal situations. Social issues. Assholes learning to be less assholish (except the ones who are just irredeemable). Romance that is simultaneously slowburn and speedrun, and also folds in on itself.

Gayer version of: Russian Doll

Recommended? Yes! More for the plot than the romance, though. Also, if you're anything like me, you'll need tissues for episode 10. (Knowing things will turn out okay doesn't prevent the sad stuff from being sad!)

Watched on: Dailymotion (search for Triag3)

Trailer: https://youtu.be/QeXnXV3FStg

3 Will Be Free

What's it about? Male sex worker Neo has been sleeping with the wrong woman – namely, a mob boss's wife. Now he's running for his life, along with club hostess/pickpocket Miw, who has killed a hitman by sheer instinct, and the mob boss's son Shin, who... well, he just happens to like Neo better than his dad, is all.

Genre: Action/thriller

Watch if you enjoy: Canon OT3. Nuanced trans representation on the side. Chased by the mob. Very high death count. (Don't get attached to any guest characters!) Moral greyness all around, and some sympathy even for the bad guys.

More polyam version of: ...I can't currently think of a chased-by-the-mob film that isn't a comedy, and this is very much not a comedy.

Recommended? Yes! With a warning that all the cliffhangers makes it hard to stop watching, so you may just as well pause in the middle of episodes. (Sidenote: the YouTube comments are more annoying than usual.)

Watched on: YouTube

Trailer: https://youtu.be/ct9fPlMJSDw

[antiqua-lugar]

Dorian: "Good morning my beloved companions! I have decided to take care of everyone's personal quests before facing Bhaal so that if anything happens you are all taken care of! Of course everything will be fine so I am worrying for nothing but humour me! Today's plan is to do only do deeds so Good TM they will utterly disgust my dad, my ex and my sister who are undoubtedly spying on me! This has nothing to do with the fact that I still struggle with reconciling my past and my present and if confronted with any moral dilemma today I shall simply cry in the bushes for an hour and then play Mine Undying for three hours straight ! Positive thinking everyone let's goooo"

Minsc: "It might shock you both to know, but Minsc and this Stone Lord: they are one man. The same one man. And that some one man...is Minsc"

Dorian the Bard and The Dark Urge, Chosen of Bhaal who are the same one man, and that man is Dorian:

[magpiefngrl]

2022 Book Review

so the first thing I noticed, looking back at what I read this year, is that I haven't read any books that blew me away (with one exception, see below). Unlike 2021 (see last year's posts here and a short one here) when I read books that left me with my jaw on the floor. The other thing I noticed is that in 2022 I went for a lot of rereads. I'm a big re-reader, if I love something I want to expose myself to it as often as I can, but this year I reread way more than I normally do. Then again, I've had a super busy summer and some pretty tough months following that, so it's not so surprising I sought out familiarity and comfort.

Total books read: (if I finish current read) 82 81

Books that stood out in 2022 and other musings:

I. The Queen's Thief series (you'll also see me refer to it as The Thief). Prob my most enjoyable read of the year. Two of the six books thrilled me in a way I hadn't felt in yonks and the other four were pretty good too. Also: A. I'm proud of starting and finishing a series in the same year, it doesn't always happen. B. jfc I have a new blorbo I'd die for.

II. The Wimsey books. I started going through them chronologically and read all of them (bar one, I think). I'm pleased that I started the series and finished it--like I said above, it doesn't often happen, esp in recent years. These are murder mysteries featuring a Duke's younger brother as the amateur sleuth. The mysteries aren't Agatha Christie level of competence (I figured out several murderers before the reveal and I'm not even particularly good at this), nor are all the novels equally good, but Sayer's witty prose was a true joy and her dialogue is a masterpiece.

III. Other top books of the year:

Siren Queen (queer SFF), Black Sun (native American inspired SFF), The Atlas Six (dark academia SFF), How to Bang a Billionaire (contemporary m/m romance), The Goldfinch (contemporary literary), Hogfather (fantasy, humour), and Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (historical fantasy, am at 70% and really loving it).

IV. I'm always excited to see fanfic authors moving on to original fic and I try to support those authors when I can. I've now created a shelf on my GoodReads so I can keep track. This year I read A Restless Truth, the sequel to Marvellous Light by Freya Marske, which was tremendously engaging, and I also read the self-published duology Magpie Ballads (Elegy is the first novel's title) by Vale Aida (only on Amazon atm). This author is superb, I truly love their writing style and how confidently they handle their craft (description, dialogue, narration etc). I have Thoughts TM on plot and story, but overall a very strong debut.

V. The exception (mentioned above): Lymond. What else. I finished Pawn in Frankincense in January and it destroyed me. Absolutely left me in a puddle weeping on the floor. I'd stalled in the book (and series) halfway through for years now. Each 1st Jan I'd be like "...and I need to finish the Lymond books this year!!!!" and it never happened--but then, in 2022, it (almost) did. I also read The Ringed Castle in autumn and am one third in Checkmate. Progress! (I had high hopes of finishing CM before NY but alas. Still trying to finish another long book.) Anyway, Pawn in Frankincense is the novel that blew me away in 2022.

VI. The new thing of the year: receiving daily-ish emails in my inbox with chapters from a classic book. I didn't go for Dracula as I read it some years ago but I signed up for Dangerous Liaisons. I was familiar with the plot, having watched the amazing adaptation (and the other, less than amazing one), but I still enjoyed the book a great deal. Receiving the letters in my inbox was a new and fun experience.

VII. Disappointments! Let's have some of those. The Glass Hotel: found it bleak and dull; DNF'ed it but I might return to it when I've got the energy for a slow story. Wilder Girls: not quite a disappointment but it could've done a lot more with that unique premise. Time Is A Mother (poetry collection): sacrilegious perhaps, but Vuong's Night Sky with Exit Wounds is unparalleled and this one suffers in comparison. Alix E Harrow has turned out to be a hit-or-miss author for me after all. Although I loved the first installment of her fairytale verse, I found A Mirror Mended lacked the depth of the first novella. Good but not memorable. And finally Nghi Vo's Into the Riverlands, the third novella of her Singing Hills Cycle, was OK. A decent read but nothing more.

VIII. I don't read non-fiction at all, it's really not my thing, unless it's books on the writing craft. I used to seek them out avidly, but not anymore. After going through a couple dozen of these books, you realise they all start sounding alike. That being said, writing craft books can be motivating during times of block and often you might find a few gems of advice that can be very inspiring. This year I only read one such book (Writing 21st Century Fiction by D. Maas), which was nothing ground-breaking but included a few exercises that I'm eager to try.

past years

2015 2016 2019 first half of 2020 top 5 books of 2020 2021

[littleperilstories]

First Draft Friday

Welcome to a new round of FDF! Here are the beginnings of some Will Bad Times(TM) for your Friday morning. Unedited nonsense from Chapter 23 (untitled)!

(I've actually already done some edits on this chapter, but I drafted this FDF post pretty much as soon as I wrote this, so next Friday I'll show what it looks like after some adjustment.)

Inspector What’s-His-Face—I know it’s in there somewhere—Bulwell, that’s it, that’s his name—stares me down. He has blue eyes, but the watery grey sort of blue, like life has been sucking the colour from him slowly over the years, feasting on his flesh and his soul.

“Lovely,” I say. “So nice to meet you. What d’you want to talk about?”

I brace myself for a punch or a slap or something equally enjoyable, but it doesn’t come. Bulwell just keeps looking at me.

“Hatchett said you’re an interesting character,” he says after a while. Slowly. Thoughtfully. “Everyone admits that they’re rather surprised you haven’t talked yet.”

“Talked about what?”

Again, I tense up in anticipation. Nothing.

It’s nice to be sitting in a chair, a luxury I have not enjoyed in a while. It is not nice to be bound to it with rope. I could do without that part.

Self-Critiques:

Wordiness (first paragraph particularly). I think conciseness would make the image I'm going for in paragraph 1 more impactful.

"a punch or a slap or something equally enjoyable" - I don't think the rule of 3 is working here. Like, Will is trying to be funny, but it comes across as amateurish, I think. Perhaps I need to find another word, or completely restructure.

"after a while" generally just a weak phrase

The "Everyone admits..." dialogue sounds stilted. On the rewrite, I want it to sound more realistic.

word order / word choice in the final paragraph - I think Will's dark humour is lost when the paragraph ends on uninteresting phrasing like "without that part"

[rowavolo]

Hi! Okay, for the music themed asks, for Neuv, do Rock, Musicals, and Gaming tracks. For Cap, Folk and Jazz!

WAVES HI THERE!!!!!!!! BITES YOU EIGHT TRILLION TIMES !!!! MY STINKY !!!!!!! ILY!!!!

Neuvillette -

2. Rock — What's something you and your f/o are proud of each other for?

I'd be very proud of him for adapting so well to human life and behaviours and the little intricacies of socialisation, as well as his crazy good memory!!

I think he'd be proud of me every time i left the house without having some form of meltdown, or made it through a conversation without hiding behind him skdjfhjksfd,, no but fr he probably admires my general drive to sort of Keep Going

9. Musicals — What colors/sounds/scents remind you and your f/o of one another?

He'd associate me with orange, first and foremost (99.9% because of my hair), but secondarily, purple and turquoise. Not for any sentimental reason, but because the Melusines found out that those are my favourite colours and remind him like eight times a week kjshdfjkdfs -- he doesn't seem like the type to have much of a crossover between certain senses. I actually imagine him to have a pretty strong case of aphantasia, so those links just don't come naturally to him - because of this, he's also an extremely literal person. I'm to be associated with the general commotion i kick up whenever i'm nearby (see previous post), but also the chatter of overexcited melusines and imitations of the little chirps and purrs they make.

I associate him with blues, whites and that tarnished sort of gold colour he wears. Maybe a cloudy sort of grey. He's got a snake scale sort of texture but also a very smooth soft one. I associate him with the sound of a clock and work being done at a desk, the smell of rain, and the tapping of his cane.

10. Gaming tracks — What is a core memory or a memory you will never forget with your f/o?

Core memories would probably include how we met (which mostly just vibes to me as like. i testified in a trial as a witness or whatever and Freaked It(tm) and he called for a recess and comforted me n was like nice.

Outside of that, I imagine him introducing me to the Melusines as his partner for the first time was also a very memorable moment for us <3

Capitano

3. Folk — What's something funny your f/o has done or said, or a moment that has made you laugh?

I imagine he and I both have these very dry senses of humour, and our 'back and forth' can be a little confusing to those who aren't familiar. One that always gets me is when i make him carry something of mine that's very outwardly soft and kind of cutesy, so it clashes horribly with his whole dark-and-brooding aesthetic.

though, one piece of one of my fics does come to mind as being pretty amusing/silly

'

"If you were a fruit product," Rowan began the sentence as if it were an entirely normal subject to hop to. Capitano patiently awaited the rest of it as Rowan paused to think for a moment. "I think you'd be pear cider." 

"You'd be applesauce." Capitano offered in return - they'd been together long enough for him to be able to keep up with Rowan's odd subject-hops and ways of expressing affection. 

"Applesauce?!" Rowan blinked and set a hand on his chest in mock-offence. "I wanted to be something cool, like a jam, or-or a candy! Not baby food." 

"You like applesauce." Capitano observed simply. 

"Okay. Yeah. True, I guess." Rowan's cheeks flushed. "Guilty as charged. But I'm changing your answer to 'raisins' instead." 

"I see." Capitano reached over to retrieve the last few items from the bag so he could put them away. 

"You're s'posed to be upset about that, by the way." Rowan tipped his chin up as he watched the Harbinger mill around the kitchen silently. 

"I like raisins." Capitano said, as he placed a jar of chutney in one of the cupboards. 

"Well I don't!" Rowan burst out indignantly. "They're yucky and icky and squishy and gross and I hate them." While his words were angry, his tone bordered more on joking. 

"You hate me?" Capitano turned to Rowan and tilted his head to the side - his helmet still remained firmly on, as it often did for the first few hours after he arrived home after a long stretch of time spent away on missions. 

"Yep. Sorry, you need to find a new catboy to look after your cabin." Rowan shrugged in a nonchalant manner. 

"I'll have Pantalone post an advertisement." Capitano took the joke in stride, a ghost of a smile pulling at his lips at his partner's familiar antics. 

"Wait, no." Rowan began to backpedal immediately. "No no no. No." He scrunched up his face and grabbed onto the lapels of Capitano's coat, giving them a firm tug. "I'm territorial. You can't get a new catboy. Or girl. Or anything." 

Capitano let out a low puff of amusement and stepped a little closer to Rowan, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him flush against his chest.

'

it's just fun and soft and domestic and silly and i like it <3

5. Jazz — What are some sweet or nice nicknames you and your f/o have for one another?

I headcanon Capitano's 'real' name to be Maleko, so on soft occasions i'd possibly call him 'eko', but usually it's just 'Cap', 'Capi' 'Tano' or some variation thereof.

I imagine he tends to call me things like 'cub' or 'pup' just because of My Vibes, but another one he's fond of is 'bambi' (tbh i made the story (or some variation thereof) canon in my version of teyvat simply because i like the nickname so much sfhkjdfsnk

[killthegene-blog]

| █ ▌ : / /    @owntheinternet   said  :     ❛ my neighbour was arrested by the fbi for being a cannibal. ❜

 𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙒𝙃𝙔 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙄𝙍 𝙂𝙊𝘿 𝙃𝘼𝘿 𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙊𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈.   Perhaps   this   was   why   the   human   race   needed   something   more   ,     something   better   than   themselves   ——    to   guide  ,     and   to   nurture  ,   to   lead   humans   on   a   path   that   was   not   so   self - destructive  .     They   had   been   turning   upon   one   another   for   as   long   as   anyone   could   remember   ,       and   who   was   going   to   stop   them  ?   To   save   them  ?

“   All   accounts   I’ve   read   say   it   tastes   like   chicken  .   ”

: / /   FILE   :     JOHN MULANEY  .      STATUS  :   ACCEPTING  .

[psych0midget]

Bookshop AU

Andrew had thousands of followers.

He wasn’t sure how it had started. He was the owner of a small independent bookstore and he regularly hit the gym. Nothing more, nothing less.

Or at least, that’s what his life mainly consisted of before Moriyamas opened a store right in front of his one. Moriyamas was one of the major book retailers in the USA, wherever it opened a store, the other bookshops of the area closed. Andrew’s own shop didn’t stand a chance. 

That’s where Roland came in. It was just an off-handed comment, nothing anybody sane would ever take into account. But Andrew could not afford to close his shop, he had to pay the tuitio for Aaron’s med school. 

Roland said: you’d definitely sell more books if you showed your abs to your costumers. The fact that Roland had said that while he was feeling Andrew up in the storeroom of Eden’s didn’t matter. 

What Andrew did: he created an Instagram page. It was called ABS (AndrewsBookStore, you pervs). He posted photos of himself. And his books. The fact that he was often shirtless or wearing a skin-tight black t-shirt that showcased his muscles was secondary. 

The descriptions under the photos mainly consisted of his book recs. Short. A bit caustic, but straight to the point. He never forgot to add a discount code. Any customer that walked into the store would get a 20% discount on the book Andrew had promoted if they showed him the ig photo and the code before paying. The fact that the words he used as codes were frequently outrageous just made the whole thing more fun. 

Surprisingly, his ig page took off. Not only did he gain thousands and thousands of followers, but his revenue triplicated.

Nicky became a permanent fixture in the shop. Once an occasional aid during Christmas time, now he efficiently manned the register. Nicky flashed smiles at costumers who showed him Andrew’s photos to get a discount and was patient with those who blushed and stammered when asked to say the code word.

He had also hired Kevin, his roommate. And makeshift photographer who helped Andrew taking photos for Instagram. He’d probably have to hire someone else before November. But that was okay. The shop would not close.

The only price he had to pay was having to wear a tank top at work.

-

Neil was a simple bookshop clerk. At Moriyamas in Palmetto.

He loved books. A lot. Or else he wouldn’t work in a bookstore. And yet he hated the job. Hated the competitive work environment. Hated his boss Riko. Hated how things had changed since Kevin had left.

Pity that he needed the money. 

One of the very few highlights of his days was the costumers. In particular, the costumers who mistook Moriyamas for ABS (they were both on Fox Avenue, but Moriyamas was at number 32 while ABS was at 23) and showed him one of the photos and said the discount code. 

The first time it had happened, Neil had no idea what to do. An old lady had shoved her phone right into his face. On the screen a photo of a good looking blond man reading a book.  He was lying on a bed, his face half covered with a copy of TSOA. The arm that was not holding the book was raised above his head, his well toned bicep on display. Neil knew his face was turning red. Redder than the cover of TSOA the costumer was brandishing.

Neil still had no idea what was going on, especially not when the lady started saying lewd words she claimed were the discount codes.

He called Jean for help. Jean calmly explained to the old lady that she was in the wrong bookshop, ABS was down the road, on the left.

Neil, who barely even knew what Instagram was before Jean told him, went home and downloaded the app. Created a profile and went looking for ABS’s account. 

He found the photo the old lady had showed him that morning, the one with TSOA. Neil was a good liar but he rarely lied to himself. He could admit he noticed that Andrew’s t-shirt had ridden up a bit. He could admit he noticed the slip of exposed skin on his hip. He could admit he stared at it for almost half an hour. (Which was unusual to say the least) 

Another thing Neil enjoyed were the book recs. Andrew Minyard had good taste and he knew what he was doing. He promoted both new books and classics, he put trigger warnings on them, his book recs were short and funny, his dark humour made Neil crack quite a few smiles. 

Neil followed Andrew’s page and went to sleep. 

In the following days Neil got more than one costumer mistaking Moriyamas for ABS. 

Riko was getting tired of it. Instead of wiping out the competition, the Moriyamas shop of Palmetto struggled. And they struggled against a “stupid decrepit bookshop owned by a psychotic midget on steroids”. These were Riko’s words. 

Neil had no idea how he ended up filming videos where he recced books while exercising. And wearing shorts. Oh and uploading them on Instagram. 

Actually, he knew how he ended up doing that. It had something to do with Riko threatening to lay him off.

Moriyamas was copying ABS’s strategy and Neil was the unwilling accomplice.

Unsurprisingly, Neil quickly gained many followers. With the money Riko had invested in sponsoring his account, well, it was inevitable. 

Neil was waiting for the day Riko would tell him to start wearing shorts at work (it took exactly 11 days and “Neil’s Legs” trending on twitter after he uploaded one of his videos) 

Surprisingly, people followed him also for his book recs. He received hundreds of messages from people thanking him for the awesome books they read because of him. And in return they gave him other book recs. After all, Neil was happy with his Instagram.

Even more surprisingly, ABS (Andrew fucking Minyard) followed him.

-

Andrew was not sure why he followed Neil Josten.

Rationally, he knew he needed to keep an eye on the Moriyamas. He needed to do it for his own bookshop and for Kevin’s sanity. And that’s why he followed Josten.

His treacherous mind said it was also because Josten’s book recs were awesome. And so were Josten’s thighs. He’d be happy to be choked by them and suc- Wait, no. No. No. Let’s not get there. 

Let’s start over again. His treacherous mind said it was also because Neil’s book recs were awesome. Damn him. Andrew had read some of the books Josten suggested just for the sake of it. He hoped they’d be shit, but fuck, Josten knew what he was doing. 

Nevertheless, not much changed. Josten’s blog, or rather, the Moriyamas’ wasn’t a problem for Andrew. ABS was still doing great. Admittedly, Moriyamas’ discounts were higher than ABS’, but Andrew now had a number of loyal regular customers. His account was still doing great. 

One night Nicky made him rewatch Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly for the umpteenth time. The following day Andrew also reread book and decided to promote it. Who said he only had to talk about new releases on his account? 

In the photo Pride and Prejudice was artfully placed (or so Kevin said) on his bicep. In the description box he said that P&J was the Classic par excellence, the Classic TM and that he hoped Jane Austen could forgive him for the photo.

Two days later Andrew was casually scrolling through instagram when he saw it. In the new video Josten was promoting Wuthering Heights.  Because “people who say Pride and Prejudice is the best classic really have no taste”. The video featured Josten and a punch bag. It was gloriously rich in close ups of Neil’s butt.

This is how the cold war between ABS and Moriyamas began. 

Andrew replied with Fight Club. The description said “Recommended for jocks who like throwing punches for no reason at all. The favourite book of white men TM who think they are Brad Pitt, but actually have the emotional depth of a spoon. Read at your own risk”. 

Neil replied with The Catcher in the Rye. In the video he was doing squats. And panting into the microphone. Andrew might be wrong because he was too busy looking at Neil’s stupid face, but he was pretty sure Josten said something like “perfect if you’re looking for a book where the protagonist is a self-absorbed entitled brat” and “the true favourite book of white men TM”. 

The video ended with “psa, if you ever meet someone who says that this is their favourite book, run.” And then Josten winked. He winked. 

Fans quickly started noticing what Andrew and Neil were doing. Some talked about rivalry between bookshops, others inevitably started shipping them. 

And yet Neil and Andrew kept their videos going on. They argued which book of Neil Gaiman was the best and which vampire saga the worst. It was a photo of Andrew lifting stacks of books. And then it was a video of Neil doing squats balancing a pile of books on each hand.  It was Josten saying Aristotle & Dante was his favourite lgbtq+ book and Andrew answering that he’d never read it, but it couldn’t possibly be better than TSOA.

Andrew would never say it out loud but it was fun. He was having fun.

Andrew still suspected Josten kept on replying to his recs just to promote Moriyamas. Nothing more, nothing less. It was probably Riko who told him what to rec. Josten was a puppet.

Andrew should’ve known. But when Neil started reccing shitty books, Andrew was still a bit disappointed.

Week after week, the quality of Josten’s recs lowered. He was promoting mainstream books (but not the good mainstream books) and influencers’ rubbish biographies. 

He was about to unfollow his blog when Josten slipped into his DMs.

What the message said: I cannot accept the fact that you haven’t read Aristotle & Dante yet. When’s your next shift at the shop? 

What Andrew did: sent him his work schedule. Like an idiot who’d never had a mum telling him not to divulge personal info to strangers on the internet. Oh no wait- Andrew hadn’t.

What Neil did: walked into Andrew’s shops with a copy of A&D and a cup of coffee. Placed them on the counter in front of Andrew, smiled and left. 

Andrew could’ve complained that the coffee was too bitter and- who even gifts books to someone who owns a bookshop? He could’ve complained, but he was too busy staring at the post-it on the book. 

“Hire me before Riko makes me rec Fifty Shades of Gray xx” 

That that afternoon Andrew walked into Moriyamas with a copy of a random book in his hands. The post-it on its front cover said “You start tomorrow at 9. Don’t be late.” 

With Neil’s videos and Andrew’s photos, ABS’ account (unsurprisingly) became one of Instagram’s most popular book accounts. Andrew’s bookshop became so popular he managed to buy the Palmetto Moriyamas shop after their sales plummeted and they were forced to close the store. 

As concerns Neil and Andrew. Well. Their relationship would still be secret if Kevin -who still managed the ig account- didn’t accidentally post the wrong video. 

It was supposed to be a video of Andrew doing squats with Neil sitting on his shoulders and reading a book. 

The video that got posted to ABS’ 3 million followers instead featured Neil sitting on Andrew’s shoulders and laughing so much he lost his balance. He was about to fall to the ground when Andrew caught him in his arms and Neil, who hadn’t stopped laughing for a second, kissed him on the tip of his nose.

[singledarkshade]

Scarred By Time

Author’s Note: I'm procrastinating writing something else so I ended up picking this up once more. Another chapter will hopefully appear at some point. Hope you enjoy. Part One can be found here.                                ********************************************* Part Two The building sitting at the edge of the city loomed above them as they walked towards it from the parking lot.

Everyone had heard of TM Consultancy these days. It was a think tank which had a reputation for creative brilliant solutions to problems most people would dismiss as unsolvable. They had appeared from nowhere about two years ago and quickly built their reputation.

Sara Lance looked at the three people standing with her at the entrance, Ray Palmer, Nate Heywood and Zari Tomaz, three people who didn’t normally work together. She knew them through some mutual friends and the bar she hung out at some weekends.

“What do a scientist, a historian, a hacker and a martial arts instructor have in common?” Sara asked thoughtfully.

Ray grinned at her, “I think we’re about to find out.”

Sara watched the main doors open before them. Swapping confused glances, they walked in and looked around the spacious comfortable almost empty reception area.

“Good morning,” the woman who stood waiting for them said as they moved closer, she had long chestnut brown hair with storm-grey eyes. Her face had a pleasant but neutral expression while she held a tablet in her hand, “Miss Lance, Dr Palmer, Mr Heywood and Miss Tomaz, it is a pleasure to meet you. Dr Hunter is waiting for you. Please follow me.”

They stared when she turned and walked through the wall behind her. Looking at one another again, they shrugged and followed the woman. All cried out in surprise and pain when they walked into a solid barrier.

“Gideon,” a man’s annoyed voice came making them turn to see Rip Hunter, owner of TM Consultancy standing inside an elevator. He was tall, with sandy hair, neatly trimmed beard, intense green eyes and was dressed head to toe in black, the only part of his body uncovered was his face despite the fact it was the middle of summer but the thing that especially caught Sara’s attention were the leather gloves he wore.

The woman reappeared asking innocently, “Yes?”

“Stop it,” he stated before turning to them, “My apologies, she has currently developed a rather childish sense of humour since her recent upgrade.”

Sara could see the others as bemused as she was, “What?”

“Gideon is the AI who runs the building,” Hunter explained, obviously trying not to laugh as Gideon crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him before disappearing back through the wall once more, “Follow me and we can discuss why I’ve asked you here.”

“Thank you for coming,” Hunter said as they filed into an office decorated in neutral colours with a long dark wooden desk in the middle and the sun shining through the wall of windows, “I’m sure you’re all busy so I’m not going to waste too much of your time. The reason I asked you here is to offer you a job.”

“What?” Sara spoke up.

He gave a slight smile, “All four of you have very specific skills which would be useful in order for us to expand our business.”

“What work exactly?” Ray asked thoughtfully.

“We find solutions for problems that others can’t,” Hunter replied, “Each of you have the skills I am looking for to expand the team.”

Sara frowned before challenging, “Considering my skills, what job do you expect me to do?”

“You’re a leader, Miss Lance,” he said, “I want you to manage this team.”

“What wages and perks are you offering?” Zari asked, “Because we all currently have pretty good jobs.”

Hunter smiled slightly again, Sara wondered if he knew how to smile properly, before he told them, “Gideon has emailed you a copy of your contract as well as details of all monetary compensation.”

“And you can’t give us any specific details of what we’ll actually be doing?” Nate demanded.

Hunter mused for a moment before nodding, “I’ll send you some write-ups of our previous cases, but there is information that you will not be privy to unless you are working for us. I will say that your days won’t ever be able to be called boring.”

With that the meeting was over.

 Rip stood in his office watching from the window the people, he had hopefully just hired, leave the property to consider his offer, stunned that he’d made it to this stage. ‘Time’ had confirmed that all those that were needed would be in the right place when required and Rip had been concerned that something would go wrong. It had been a long five years, three of which he’d spent alone and two more building up a business so that he had a way to bring the team together.

“I still do not believe that hiring them is a good idea,” Gideon’s voice made him turn to find her standing at his side.

“We need Sara to recant her wish now John and Mick have managed to capture the Djinn,” Rip reminded her, “But in order for her to do that then she must know about the fact she made it. If she’s working here, then we can ease her into the information. The other three will help with finding the information to convince her it’s real and not some kind of joke.”

Gideon rested her hand on his shoulder, the sensors in his clothes letting him feel her touch, “Then we need to get back to work.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Although,” Gideon noted, “You have not yet eaten this morning.”

Rip rolled his eyes, “I will get something just now.”

Gideon nodded, “Excellent. I will have something waiting for you in the dining room. I’ll meet you there.”

With that she disappeared, and Rip looked out the window once more at the four people walking away.

Part of him hoped this worked but he also knew if it did, then he would leave Gideon again.

And he hated that thought.

                                 *********************************************

 Gideon had been watching her Captain carefully over the past few weeks since he’d made the decision to contact the Legends in this version of the world. John had managed to track down the Djinn who had tricked Sara into making the wish that created this reality, trap it and it was currently being stored in the Waverider under several layers of security both technological and magical.

Although she knew that this was what Rip had been working towards for many years, she feared him succeeding because Gideon would lose him once more.

She never used her hologram and turned her cameras off whenever he was in the shower or changing because Gideon knew Rip hated anyone, even her, seeing the scars that covered every part of his body.

The reminder that to give the Legends time to defeat Mallus after they had blundered in without a proper plan, he had been ripped apart by the energy from the time core.

“Gideon,” he called, letting her know he was dressed.

Turning her camera and hologram back on, Gideon smiled to find him dressed and heading out the room.

“Yes?” she asked as she followed him to the elevator.

“Have we received a reply from anyone yet?” he waited as Gideon sent the elevator down to the sixth floor so he could have breakfast.

Gideon shook her head, “I’m afraid not, Rip. However, it has only been a few days and the remuneration package you are providing may be giving them pause.”

“Should I have offered more?” Rip frowned concerned.

“From what Mr Constantine has said,” Gideon noted as they walked the corridor to the dining room, “You may have offered them too much.”

Rip rolled his eyes, “Money has never been something that has meant much to me, not since I was a child, and I stole whatever I could get my hands on. The Waverider always provided what I required. I probably should have had Mr Rory work out those details.”

“His economic knowledge is quite surprising,” Gideon noted.

Gideon gently touched his hand and Rip took a hold of it. She was relieved he had agreed to let her put the sensors in his clothing, Rip needed physical contact of some kind and would never accept it from Mr Constantine or Mr Rory.

Gideon knew from when Rip and Miranda had been together how much just a simple touch of his hand or kiss on his cheek from his wife, comforted and made him smile.

Rip turned to her and rested his other hand on her cheek, “I’m fine, Gideon.”

“I’m not,” she whispered, leaning into his touch, “Because the closer we get to fixing the mess Miss Lance made with her wish, the day I lose you again draws ever nearer.”

Sighing, Rip shook his head, “I’ve been dead a long time, Gideon. It’s just going to take this time.”

“Captain…”

“I’m at peace with my decision,” Rip told her, “I only wish it didn’t mean leaving you once more.”

Gideon closed her eyes and turned her face to press a soft kiss to his palm, “We have time before that moment comes, Rip and I will treasure each moment.”

 “Have you found anything, Mr Constantine?”

Swearing John jumped, “Make a noise, Gideon before you appear.”

“I am constantly monitoring all parts of this facility,” Gideon noted with a roll of her eyes, “I am always here.”

Shaking his head and muttering under his breath, John pulled over the book so she could see it properly.

“I think I can summon the corporeal version of ‘Time’,” John told her, “But what do we do then? We can’t threaten him to keep Rip alive after we’ve fixed things.”

“I am aware of this, Mr Constantine,” Gideon replied sharply, “However, I will not allow Rip to die again without trying something to save him. This way we have a chance to find out what we can do.”

John shook his head, “I know, Gideon. Look,” he closed the book, “I need to collect some stuff to do the summoning so I will start gathering them up. And we can work on what we offer.”

She nodded, “Thank you.”

“He’s my friend too,” John reminded her, “And I won’t let him go without a fight.”

Gideon gave him a soft smile before she tilted her head, “The Legends have replied to the job offers. I will leave you to work while I report this to Captain Hunter.”

As Gideon disappeared again, John mused over everything. It was only a few hours after he’d been resuscitated into this world that Gideon asked him to find a way to help her save Rip after he saved the world.

He knew Rip and Gideon were close, but the past few years a lot of the time John could see how close they truly were. Gideon had implanted every piece of clothing Rip wore with sensors allowing her to physically interact with him. John had been a bit weirded out by it at first but realised after a while that it was good for Rip.

John smiled slightly, thinking back to anytime he saw Rip and Miranda together. How she would always place a hand on his arm, or lean into him to look at something, she’d brush a kiss to his cheek whenever she left the room or would simply sit on Rip’s lap without even acknowledging him.

It always made Rip smile and relax, Gideon knew this too so, as always, was looking out for her Captain.

                                 *********************************************

 Sara stood with her arms folded as she stood just outside the TM Consultancy building.

“You know,” Zari said as she walked up to Sara’s side, “We only get paid if we go inside and work.”

Shrugging Sara asked, “Don’t you think this is a little odd?”

“A little,” Zari agreed, “I nearly passed out when I saw the salary we were being offered. Not to mention the bonuses for completed jobs.”

Sara nodded, “I know what you mean. It…” she hesitated, trying to find the words, “The job is amazing and so much better than the one I was doing but there is just something odd about it and Hunter.”

“His dress sense screams that,” Zari laughed, “Do you think he knows the all black outfit makes him look like a stick-insect?”

Sara chuckled, “It’s the fact every part of him was covered other than his face I found odd.”

Zari shrugged, “Maybe he just doesn’t like the cold.”

“We’re in the middle of summer,” Sara sighed, “Never mind. We’re due in ten minutes and I don’t want to be late on my first day.”

They started towards the gates and Sara mused over everything. There was something strange about this entire thing and she intended to find out what reason this guy had for hiring them. The money he offered them all was incredible, far more than she expected ever to earn with her qualifications.

Reaching the reception, they found Ray and Nate were already there, sitting on the plush couch just to one side of the desk.

“We were told to wait,” Nate told her, “I don’t think the computer likes us much.”

Sara and Zari took a seat as Zari asked, “Why?”

“Just the look she gave me,” Nate replied.

Ray shook his head, “You’re imagining things. She was very pleasant, and this time didn’t make us run into a wall.”

Zari chuckled, “Come on, that was a little funny. And the fact she’s an AI with a sense of humour, this job won’t be boring.”

“Boring is something I’m not expecting,” Sara mused.

 “Are you ready for this, Captain?” Gideon asked softly as he stood in his office watching the video screen showing the four people waiting in reception.

Rip shook his head, “Honestly, no.”

Placing her hand on his back, Gideon whispered, “You don’t have to do this.”

Turning Rip took her hand, “I do. This world isn’t real. It is missing those who will step in and save it from dangers that normal people cannot.”

“Why is there no other way?” Gideon asked.

Sliding his arms around her, Rip drew her in for a hug, “Because there isn’t. Sara recants her wish, the world goes back to how it was…”

“And I lose you again,” Gideon sighed, her head resting against his shoulder, “Only this time it will be forever.”

Rip closed his eyes before he reminded her, “I made my choice, Gideon. I never wanted to leave you and I don’t but…”

“But?” she pulled back and looked at him with large eyes.

He let out a slow breath, “I can’t be selfish, Gideon as much as I want to. The world is wrong, and I made a deal to fix it. I made a promise.”

“You are far too honourable sometimes, Captain.”

Rip sighed, “You are probably the only one who has ever thought that.” He gave her a smile and rested his hand on her shoulder, “Let’s go meet our new employees.”

“I hope you ensure to remind them that I don’t take orders from them,” Gideon told him, turning on her heel towards the elevator.

Rip smiled and followed her.

 The ding of the elevator made Sara jump to her feet along with the other three.

“Good morning,” Hunter greeted them, wearing basically the same outfit as he had been on the day he’d ‘interviewed’ them, except his polo neck was blue not black, “I’m glad you all decided to take up my offer.”

“Well,” Sara spoke for the group, “It was a hard offer to say no to.”

He gave a slight smile and handed Gideon who was waiting at his side the tablet he had been holding. Sara stared, feeling the others stunned looks as well, when the AI took it.

“How did you do that?” Ray demanded.

Hunter glanced at Gideon before replying, “Executive level clearance.” He turned and headed to the elevator frowning as he turned back to find them staring at him, “Please join me and we can start the tour.”

Sara took the lead and walked into the elevator with the other three joining after a moment.

“Before I show you your offices,” Hunter said as the doors closed, “I want to confirm to you the areas that are off-limits no matter what. These are the top two floors which house the apartments used by myself, Mr Rory and Mr Constantine. None of us will be happy if you wander into our private rooms. Secondly is the basement.”

“Keeping the bodies down there?” Zari asked with a chuckle.

Hunter gave her one of his slight smiles before replying, “Just filled with so much junk it’s dangerous and I don’t want any of you to get lost down there, it could take days to find you.”

                                 *********************************************

 John went through his checklist for the summoning spell. It had taken him a month to get everything together with Gideon constantly checking on him.

He had avoided the Legends since Rip had brought them in, it was just weird that they didn’t know him, and he knew Mick was also avoiding being around them. The former thief and Bounty Hunter had taken to working in a Think Tank, amazingly becoming their security expert with enthusiasm. When they’d joined Rip and started creating the business, Gideon had gone about reorganising the building so that it worked both for their business but also for a place for the three of them to live.

“Please tell me you’re ready, Mr Constantine,” Gideon’s exasperated voice preceded her hologram appearing.

John smiled to himself at her irritation, “I take it one of our new recruits has annoyed you.”

“Mr Heywood insists on calling me ‘computer’,” she snapped, “Honestly it is only due my promise to Captain Hunter that I have not retaliated.”

“Sorry, Gideon,” he sighed, “I’ll talk to him. Because the last thing we need is Rip to deck him for disrespecting you.”

A sweet smile touched her lips and John, not for the first time since he’d been woken in this new world, realised how little he’d understood just how self-aware and ‘human’ Gideon was.

“Before that though,” John pulled out the spell book, “Lock the door and we can try the spell.”

Gideon nodded and John heard the click of the lock as he pulled out everything he required for the summoning.

“Okay,” he took a breath, “Are we ready?”

“Whenever you are.”

John started the summoning spell, feeling the enormous power he was bringing into the room but it wasn’t the first time he’d interacted with something powerful and held his nerve.

Finally a man stood in front of him, or it looked like the shape of a man but John couldn’t quite see the features or anything other than a slightly grey shape.

“Not many people are brave, or powerful enough, to summon me,” the voice echoed off every corner of the room meaning John was in no doubt this was ‘Time’, “Why have you done this?”

“Rip Hunter,” John said, “I want to know what is needed so that he will survive once he gets the wish recanted.”

‘Time’ tilted its head, “Rip Hunter is dead. I was only able to return him to life because of the wish. He knows this.”

“He does,” John replied, “But he deserves something more than to die again once he fixes things for you.”

“He does,” ‘Time’ agreed, “But I could only give him life in exchange for another.”

“Then take mine,” Gideon spoke suddenly.

John spun to her, “What? No?”

“You are an AI,” ‘Time’ mused, “Offering your basic immortal life for a human?”

“For him,” Gideon replied, “Yes.”

‘Time’ moved to her, “Do you understand what you are offering?”

“I do,” Gideon nodded, “And I want to ensure if I do this then he is completely whole once more.”

“Gideon,” John snapped, “Rip would never agree…”

“Your offer is accepted,” ‘Time’ interrupted John.

John frowned, “No, wait.”

“The offer was made without guile,” ‘Time’ told him, “Without deceit. It was given freely and has been accepted.”

With that said ‘Time’ disappeared.

John spun to Gideon, “Rip will never agree to this.”

“He does not need to know until after Miss Lance has recanted her wish,” Gideon told him.

“And you think I’m not going to tell him?”

Gideon nodded, “I know you will not.”

Bright light filled the room and John blinked.

Looking around he frowned, before checking the book, “It didn’t work, did it?”

“No, Mr Constantine,” Gideon replied, “What you intended did not happen.”

Sighing John said, “I’m sorry, Gideon. I know how disappointed you must be. I can try again.”

Gideon gave him a sad smile, “It took you almost two years to track down that spell. It is doubtful you will be able to find another in time.”

John sighed as Gideon disappeared and he began to tidy up, disappointed that he’d failed.

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.21

Two Confused Men, Two and Half Culprits

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)  x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 3780

Summary: Jarvis is the half culprit. I wonder who the two confused men could be…. Hint: for once, it’s not Sam and Dean.

Warnings: swearing, brief angst, nightmare (about drowning), brief mention of blood, guilt trip, attempt at humour

Story masterlist ༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺ 

You woke up, suffocating weight preventing your chest from expanding. You remembered dreaming about water, the light at the surface gradually receding from your grasp. All you could see now was darkness, the pressure against your lungs and the burn in them remaining.

Your throat closed up in panic as you fought to suck some oxygen into your airways.

Vainly.

You trashed around, elbowing the warm mass behind you that seemed to be pulling you under – only for the grip on you to grow stronger, your ribcage feeling like collapsing any minute.

You struck harder and the vice-like grip on you loosened with a huffed protest. You instantly rolled away—how were you rolling away in the water? What was that sound?

You blinked away the tears that prickled in the corners of your eyes with your previous effort and chased each inhale, your heart hammering in your chest wildly.

Your vision clearing, eyes adjusting to the dark, you came face to face with a perplexed and very much half-asleep Steve.

Oh thank god, you were okay. No water. No drowning. Just Steve’s strength and nightmares combining and resulting in the least pleasant outcome.

His pupils were dilated in horror and he shot up into a sitting position, blinking away his own daze. With a hand still on your chest, you closed your eyes and forced yourself to dial down your fight-or-flight instincts.

You were safe. Steve was safe, with you, definitely not a danger to you. You still flinched when he rasped out the apologetic words, heavy with guilt and concern.

“Oh my god-- are you okay? Doll? Can you breathe?! Does it hurt? I’m sorry. Oh god, I am so, so sorry-”

You raised your hand in his general direction, gesturing for him to give you a sec.

Rationally, you knew you were fine and you needed to chill the fuck out, but it was a bit harder to actually do so.

Steve let you take your time, ominous silence falling on the bedroom. You forced more air to your lungs, the burn slowly dissolving. You focused on the pleasant soreness instead, the result of your first night together after a long time-- what time it was now anyway?

You snapped your eyes open, finding Steve’s motionless form in the shadows, still sitting on the bed. Only this time, his face was buried in his palms, his fingers tangled in his loose golden strands in a brutal manner, and when you looked at him – truly looked – you detected the slightest tremble of his body.

Any pain caused by his crushing embrace vaporized at instant, the urge to comfort him taking over; big time.  

You carefully reached out to him, your fingers curling around his wrist and gently pulling it away – or attempting to. He didn’t move an inch.

“Steve?” you called out softly, surprised by how hoarse your voice sounded and flinched. Steve did as well and you cleared your throat – uselessly, because the problem was somewhere lower. “Steve, are you alright?”

His hands twitched on his face, but he didn’t withdraw them.

“Steve, are you back with me?” you whispered urgently and the only answer you got was a frustrated muffled groan. Your lips curled up in a tight smile, sympathetic. “I’m okay. Are you?”

“Please stop asking me that,” he breathed out, his palms uncovering his mouth only for the words being comprehensible.

“Okay. Okay, I’ll stop,” you promised and wiggled your way closer to him. “Can I touch you further though?”

His ribcage expanded generously with his sharp inhale, but he didn’t respond.

“…please?” you added, pressing further.

“Doll…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking simultaneously with your heart swelling in your chest.

“I know.“ At that, he finally allowed you to lower his hand, the other following its suit. Wet eyelashes created a tiny tornado with their furious blinking when his eyes found your face and saw an encouraging soft smile. “Can I hug you now?”

He opened his mouth slowly only for it to fall shut with no sound coming out. He gave a cautious nod and that was all you needed to wrap your smaller form around the big sad bundle of a supersoldier. You basically climbed into his lap, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, planting a kiss on the top of his head before laying your cheek on it.

Huh, that was nice. No wonder he did the same to you as often as he did.

“It’s okay, Steve. We’re okay,” you whispered to his hair, kissing it again. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“…that’s not what a girl wants to hear when she confesses her love to a guy,” you joked hesitantly, but you could feel his lips curling up in a smile as he breathed in against your skin deeply.

“I love you too,” he cooed, his arms finally sneaking around you and cautiously holding you as close as possible.

“Uh-uh.”

“Exactly what a guy wants to hear when he confesses his love to a girl,” he threw back at you in a hushed voice.

You chuckled breathlessly, swallowing the whine of pain at motion of your chest, and caressed his shoulders without even a thought of letting go.

“Will you be able to fall asleep again?”

“Will you? How are your ribs? Is your breathing okay? I’m really, really sorry, sweetheart. I’ll just lie on the couch-“

“Don’t you dare-“

“Don’t argue with me. I literally just tried to crush your lungs,” he growled, regret radiating off him in waves the size of a tsunami.

“Not intentionally!” you spat back, somehow maintaining gentle tone at the same time. “…right?”

“Of course not! It wasn’t- I would never-- but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen again,” he bargained in the end, sorrowful pools of blue and green shining even in the shadows of your room.

What he said was undoubtedly true. But the picture of having him lying several feet from your reach now (with his mind full of awful scenarios keeping him awake for sure), was unimaginable. Just terrible. Heartless. Not to mention you just got him back!

The solution seemed easy enough, though it was less comfortable; still better than the other option he had offered.

“Then put on your big boy pants and be the little spoon,” you challenged, earning a bewildered look with his eyebrows near his hairline.

“…for real?”

“Yep.”

He observed you for several moments that felt like eternity, while he considered his options. Then he sighed and you knew you won.

“…okay.”

“That’s what I thought,” you smiled at him a lop-sided smile, pulling him down to the mattress again; and he let you.

It was a little ridiculous and definitely strange to switch positions resulting in your arm enwrapping Steve’s thin muscular waist and being glued to his back – not to mention your other arm, where the hell did he usually put the other arm when spooning you? –, but in a way, you enjoyed it, more so when after a moment, his hand covered yours, careful not to apply too much pressure.

It was still the first night after you regained your memories; there was no way you even considered anything that involved Steve not being pressed to you without an inch remaining between your bodies an option.

You scooted even closer to him; you fell back into a more peaceful sleep in no time.

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Steve was very mature about the whole thing – so much that he decided (just like you did) – that you wouldn’t address the matter again. You spent the better part of waking up process making out like your life depended on it and then you might have winced the tiniest bit when Steve brushed your tender ribs, which ended up with him leaving to take a shower.

But not in the ‘oh god, I’m sorry, let me drown in a bathtub’ kind of leave, more like ‘maybe we could at least wait for the evening before we jump each other’s bones again’ kind of leave and it overall felt… rather alright.

With Steve occupied, you moved onto the funnier matters – like going through his closet to find a suitable outfit for your morning shenanigans, while Jarvis kindly replayed a conversation that felt like an ancient history to you.

You found yourself humming under your breath, wondering how good of an opening Tony could give you, when your eyes fell on something that took your breath away; just enough of it to leave some to yell for your soulmate.

“Steve! Steve, come here please!”

There was a crash in the bathroom, rapid pats of his wet feet and he flung out of the door in impressive speed with only a towel around his waist.

“What?! What is it?” he blurted out while he rapidly scanned the room for any danger and you almost felt bad for making him panic.

Almost. Because boy, this was awesome. You held out the t-shirt of your choice to him, amazed nearly beyond words.

“How did I not know you had this?”

Steve blinked furiously, his stance easing when he realized it was a false alarm.

“Christ, doll,” he huffed a relieved breath and sheepishly scratched he back of his neck upon seeing the famous shield on the clothing. “Eh… pretty sure it was a gag gift from Clint…”

“That’s so friggin’ perfect. Can I borrow it?”

His lips spread in a content smile as he walked to you, one hand landing on your shoulder, his lips incidentally catching your temple. “It’s all yours, doll.”

You debated washing your hair when Steve let you use the shower afterwards, but a little devil on your shoulder told you that ruffled hair and overall sleepy lookTM would work much better for you. You smiled at the reflexion with satisfaction, re-entering Steve’s bedroom, giddy.

“So, what do you think?” you asked him cheerily, spreading your arms and turning a full circle to show off your outfit in all its glory.

Steve looked up from where he was making the bed and froze. For a second, his skin paled to a very dangerous shade of white, his gaze glued to the brand on your torso. It gave you a pause; an amused grin you expected, a heated glare caused by you wearing his insignia maybe, but not the look of utter horror.

As fast as he turned to a statue, he recovered, plastering a smile on his face again – but it didn’t reach his eyes, a shadow of something that twisted your gut uncomfortably remaining.

“Looks good on you,” he stated approvingly and averted your gaze to pat at the mattress pointedly. “Honestly, it kinda makes me want to pull you right back to bed and have my way with you in it only.”

“Hold that thought, Captain, and maybe next time leave a different kind of your brand,” you suggested and added a wink, which seemed to finally erase whatever ugly thought had attacked him earlier from his head. “We have a billionaire to mess with.”

“Every time…” he echoed his words form last night, chasing blood to your cheeks and causing a giggle to spill from your lips.

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Steve fell into his role as easily as you did; he led you to the kitchen, your shuffling feet giving an impression of you being only half-awake and hesitant about walking the right direction.

Much to your luck, all the occupants of the Tower were already in the kitchen as Jarvis had informed you prior to entering the room. You smiled at each of them sheepishly, letting Steve gingerly seat you on one of the bar stools – not before you had enough time to show off your supposed pyjama.

Your plan was working perfectly as upon your bashful ‘Good morning, everyone,’ each of the poor Avengers got caught in a different intensity of staring. Natasha was tactful enough to revert her gaze shortly after noticing your choice of clothing, only smirking a bit, while Bruce took a little longer. Clint had been in the middle of stirring his cereal with milk, now paused mid-motion, recovering after about ten seconds. Tony was blatantly gawking at you, the pot of coffee in his hand dangerously atilt.

As if you couldn’t see their reaction, you smiled at Steve shyly. “I don’t want to impose, Steve. I can make my own breakfast…”

He only replied with a sweet smile. “You wanted to try eggs and bacon, right?”

“If it’s not too much trouble… but I really-“

“Nat. Let me take care of you,” he pleaded lowly and wow, the gentle but conflicted look he gave you was an Oscar-nominee-worthy thing.

“Thank you, Steven. You’re very kind to me,” you thanked him genuinely, meaning every word. It earned you a wince from five different people (including Steve, who hadn’t seen that one coming) as you used his full name and it took a lot of your strength not to burst out laughing.

Natasha cleared her throat. “So… how are you holding up? Did you sleep well?”

“Very much. Thank you, Ms. Romanoff… uh, you?”

“Natasha is fine, Nat. And yeah.”

Wow. Not even the great spy was onto you apparently – or she was, seeing right through your little stunt and deciding not to ruin your fun, being that much of a good actress.

Not certain about how exactly to proceed from now on, your gaze travelled around the bar, eyes landing on Tony.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but Clint, as if sensing the nature of his prepared exclaim, shut him up with a glare. You, on the other hand, were an incarnation of innocence on the outside, dying of laughter on the inside already.

“What is it, Mr. Stark? I can see you want to say something,” you nudged him gently and fiddled with your fingers nervously as Steve cracked the eggs in a bowl and started stirring.

“Nope. Not really,” the billionaire cleared his throat awkwardly, something so uncharacteristic of him. “And I told you. It’s Tony.”

“Right. Tony. Sorry.” You would swear Steve’s shoulders shook a little as he put the pan on the stove. You worried your teeth over your lower lip, eyeing your outfit. “It’s the clothes, isn’t it? You want to say I look right at home in it, don’t you? And I am branded on top of that…. It’s okay. I can see you’re barely holding the comment back.”

Tony finally put away the pot, his hands seeming rather frantic as he reached for sugar. “Well, I mean,… eh-“

“It’s a sign of a… successful night, right?”

“I didn’t mean to imply, uhm…“ he started, quickly lowering the cup so he could raise his hands defensively, but you interrupted him, mentally biting your cheek as you charmed your best innocent puppy eyes at him.

“-that last night I got thoroughly fucked?”

Exactly four people choked on their own spit; Steve had been expecting it, though the tips of his ears still turned a pretty shade of red and he stopped cooking, removing the pan before he could burn something. Still, at least he could tell which pipe was for breathing unlike the rest of the Avengers.

Natasha was the first to recover, soon followed by Bruce – they both had somewhat knowing glint in their eye now, figuring out what was this about, or at least partly. Smiles were tugging at their lips.

Tony’s face was definitely the most hilarious one. His eyes were bulged, wheels in his hear whirling rapidly, his mouth opened ajar even though he eventually stopped coughing.

Natasha was kind enough to hit Clint’s back, because he was still unable to breathe in.

You smiled sweetly at both the billionaire and the archer who was now taking a sip of water to sooth his sore throat. It was the perfect moment to casually drop the other bomb on them.

“…’cause I was, just FYI.”

The water sprouted out via Clint’s nose and Tony stumbled towards the counter and he gripped to steady himself; he seemed ready to pass out, gaping like a fish out of water, a perplexed crinkle between his eyebrows.

He looked so comical that you broke down. You burst out laughing, clutching the bar so you wouldn’t crash on the floor to roll in laughter.

You could see precisely when he got the light bulb moment, an accusing finger pointing at you, then at the very red but chuckling Steve, who was making his way to you, and then back at you.

“You-! You-… did you-?! When- what—you!”

His stutter sent you into another fit of roaring laughter. Steve’s arms appeared, sneaking around your waist, pulling you to his shaking chest as he stood behind your stool. In attempt to stop laughing, you turned your head to him to catch his lips in a kiss.

“Thanks, Stevie,” you murmured against his mouth, giggling and kissing him again. His embrace tightened.

“When did you get your memories back?” Bruce queried, a wide smile, rather rare for him, on his face.

Steve’s chin rested on your shoulder as you replied.

“Yesterday.”

“Was it the woman?”

“Yes, we believe so,” Steve confirmed, nuzzling your neck as if the others weren’t truly in the room. Was he afraid them might want to steal now when they knew as well? Please. It wasn’t like you were that popular.

“It just took some time to clear that out with Steve and with myself,” you explained, this time a bit ashamed for real. Steve’s fingers caressed your stomach soothingly over the material of the infamous t-shirt.

Natasha was definitely beaming though. “Understandable. I’m happy for you. Especially for making fun of those two, extra points, you guys.”

“Thanks. It felt amazing. Oh Tony, if you could see your face,” you chuckled again, melting into Steve’s frame when Tony glared at you. “I hope Jarvis caught it.”

“I did. Would you like to see it again now?” the AI offered readily.

“That was mean!” Tony accused you. “And seriously, Jarvis, we will have a conversation about your loyalty.”

“It was funny,” you opposed him, hoping he wasn’t truly offended. He wouldn’t, right?

“Yeah, alright, it was funny. Welcome back, sass queen.”

“Thank you. It’s good to be back.”

“So… do we get a hug or is it like Cap’s hands only?” Clint asked with a teasing smile tugging at his lips, apparently not having any hard feelings despite you causing him to nearly choke to death.

Touched, you hopped off your stool and Steve hesitantly released you.

“I’d love to hug you,“ you admitted honestly, not quite expecting the offer. The more surprising it was, the more it warmed your heart. Who would have thought?

Clearly, accepting the invitation was a mistake.

As Steve let you go, they all went for it at once, starting with Tony and Clint, Natasha joining about two seconds before the most reluctant Bruce did. It was lungs-squeezing, bone-crushing and absolutely delightful.

“Dammit, guys,” you sobbed, indescribably moved by the force they embraced you with. Tears gathered in your eyes, threatening to spill soon. You would never imagine such a warm welcome from Steve’s friends.

“Hulk happy,” a roar by your ear made you jump and you caught a glimpse of green on Bruce’s neck; it was enough for the levee to break. You started crying like a little girl.

“Oh, девушка…” Natasha’s soft voice reached your ears and you sobbed again, vainly trying to keep more tears at bay.

“Stop making her cry…” Steve muttered, but didn’t sound irritated at all. If anything, he had a fond smile on his face when you got a glimpse of it between the bundle of bodies. ‘I love you and they do too,’ he mouthed at you then, his eyes glistening with tears as well.

You squeezed your eyes shut and attempted to tighten your grip on four people at once. You weren’t sure about the result, but no one complained.

“Yeah, let’s not shed more tears than necessary. Actually, I think this calls for a party,” Clint exclaimed as he patted your back and released you.

Others reluctantly followed his suit – they had to, because letting out only one person from the bundle of limbs and bodies would be difficult. The moment you were left cold again, Steve snatched you back to his arms at instant, which earned him an amused grin from Natasha.

“Barton. I didn’t believe that the day would come, but you actually became wise,” Tony pronounced dramatically. “Big party?”

“Nah, just family,” the archer opposed jovially and you sunk into Steve’s embrace in hopes not to release fresh tears at being considered family. You would have to somehow deal with your family by blood eventually too, but you selfishly didn’t want to think about it just yet. One step at time.

“I’d say I take it back, but surprisingly enough, I agree.”

“Oh, the end of the world is here…” Bruce lamented since the two clowns agreed on something and you chuckled, enjoying their banter probably more than you should.

“Alright. We might want to ring Drapes from Asgard. He does love his revels,” Tony pointed out and exactly five people agreed.

“No shit.”

You, as the sixth, wavered. Not because you wouldn’t want to see the God of Thunder again; it was just that you didn’t think he owned a cell phone. Oh, and he was also off to another planet, you assumed.

“…how exactly do you call Thor? Is there service on Asgard? That would be crazy, right?”

“I heard crazier,” Clint scoffed, pointing at you and not bothering with being subtle.

“That’s fair.”

“Thor told us to call out for Heimdall if we needed him,” Steve explained to you and while you had no idea who Heimdall was, you shrugged it off. You didn’t want to deal with that right now.

You were back, you had your soulmate, you had friends that, unknowingly to you until now, considered you a family and you wanted to just be and be happy.

“I’ll do that…” Tony’s hand shot up as if he was a first-grader offering to clean the blackboard and you sent a silent wish for Thor to survive whatever Stark planned on doing.

“Good luck. Now… I believed I promised you breakfast, doll,” Steve whispered to your ear, nuzzling in your neck again.

It was very hard not to melt at spot. “I meant it, Steve. I can make my own breakfast.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly wine and dine you before we had our… successful night, so if you let me do this at least…” he teased on the lowest volume possible and you slapped his bicep before he released you to make good on his promise,  the radiant smile on his face lighting up the whole room.

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Part 22

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So... I had a lot of fun writing that. I hope you had fun reading :-*

[ezarelz]

Introduction to Moi

It occured to me that I have legit never shown my Gardienne so here she is :)

“I don’t like over the top outfits, I tend to go for dark (black) almost earth-like outfits, but hey, my break up with Nevra pushed me to try new things, I guess. Hope I don’t stand out. God I hate that.”

Information:

Name: Jaymin (it was the name I gave when Miiko asked me to first identify myself, but it isn’t my “true” name I lied muahaha), but friends like Elise (@annie-mcl​ wink wink), Leiftan (because I felt like telling him) and Nevra (my ex) know my real name. 

Guard: Obsidian I would be the worst spy ever and most people I hang out with are Obsidian members, too.

Height: 1m71

Best friends: Used to be Nevra but now maybe Mathieu (?) and Elise (@annie-mcl​) of course ;).

Friends: Jamon, Karuto, Chrome, Leiftan (?), Lance (ahem we will never admit to our closeness though), Aldaric, Mathieu and Koori (?)

Ex-boyfriend: Nevra

Interest/Crush: Nevra Lance, but I would rather die than admit it so to anyone who knows him and reads this, please don’t inform boss lmao.

Personality: I’m an ambivert, a good listener and source of support, and quite funny (if you’re used to human humour the number of jokes I make that go over Eldaryan people’s heads sigh), allergic to hypocrisy and womanXwoman jealousy, allergic to cats, too. I tend to feel for others a little too intensely, but I do sometimes lose my temper Lance’s mother-style. I draw and write. I also hate standing out from the crowd, I really enjoy being lowkey! :) I’m approachable too, a little skeptical at first due to past experiences with the Light Guard members, but if you’re a genuine soul, we should get along just fine.

Where can you catch me: Training with Jamon although I’m a sweating mess on the verge of fainting so don’t, in Ewelein’s care because I am weakTM, in my room (85% of the time), helping Karuto with chores at night, teasing Mathieu with Koori during missions, making art or chilling with Elise, avoiding Nevra in the corridors, or being teased by Lance, whom I help deal with his demons and nurturing a palpable tension between us ;) on the beach, at night. I may also be with my cousin, Inaara, who came from Earth, too, some time after me. 

Voilà! Don’t hesitate to let me know if we’d get along :)

[stricken-with-clairvoyancy]

Prinxiety fic recs

Hey everyone, I know isolation is difficult, and a good majority of the fandom use fics as an escape mechanism, so hopefully some people can get a kick out of some of these. As my blog title suggests, I mostly just consume prinxiety content, so this list is for any prinxiety stans out there. Feel free to add on with your own fics or recs, regardless of ship! All fics are completed unless stated otherwise, to avoid giving anyone WIPlash. :)

First up, literally anything by the Queen of Prinxiety (and stunning writing in general) @coconut-cluster. Hers was one of the first blogs who’s writing I got really invested in, and her writing is like the equivalent of snuggling into a warm blanket in the sunshine. It’s good stuff y’all. Writing masterlist If you’re overwhelmed by how many incredible stories she’s written though, I gotchu fam, here are some of my favourites to get you started: Sciamachy, My dreams made music in the night, Snowball fight

Powerless by @impatentpending . One of the best stories I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, better than most published literature I daresay. Seriously it’s just,,, so good!!! If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend you do. You’ve got morally grey villains, you’ve got wit, you’ve got a hoverbike named Brendon Urie. It’s an all round good time, except when, you know, it’s angsty.

The To Love And Be Loved series by @virgilsjourney It’s so soft!!! So light and sweet and comforting!!! You’ve got hurt/comfort (heavy on the comfort) with a large helping of mutual pining, and it’s the perfect fic if you need a pick-me-up after a long day.

Butterflies by @creativenostalgiastuff . I live for techie Virgil and this fic does not disappoint. Incredibly cute, Roman gets the validation he deserves, 10/10.

My true love gave to me by @lovelylogans Honestly my favourite oneshot of all time, I giggle the whole way through when reading this. The sheer magnitude of their mutual pining,,, incredible. Genuinely this fic is so wonderful and funny and lighthearted and sweet and hhhhhhhhhh. Looking at her masterlist I’ve also come to realise that she’s written a lot of my favourites, so I’ll just link that here! :)

Wet blanket , Life of the party and Social grace by @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors. A tad angsty, but so worth the read, and they more than make up for any potential hurt with the gratuitous fluff. Hella soft, superb writing. On another note, if you haven’t already, you should absolutely read their jaw-droppingly amazing series Love and other fairytales. Romantic lamp and a heck tonne of cool worldbuilding, gripping plot and fae galore, prepare to become thoroughly invested.

A dragon’s tail by @theeternalspace . This one had me on the edge of my seat you guys, it’s so gripping you’ll wanna stay up all night reading it. You’ve got prince!Virgil, you’ve got knight!Roman, you’ve got Dragon!Logan. Need I say more?

The most adorable Parents!Prinxiety headcanons you ever did read, by the incredible @thelowlysatsuma , with a tooth-rottingly sweet fic to go with it by @watchoutforthefanfics . You WILL get cavities and you WILL sob at the soft domesticity of it all.

@shakesqueer-writes is lowkey a Prinxiety GOD so I’m just gonna link you to their whole entire masterlist of masterpieces.

The phenomenal It’s only logical by @tinysidestrashcaptain . This one is incomplete, but it’s honestly so perfectly written that it’s going on here anyway. I can only dream of achieving Virgil’s level of sass in this fic, an absolute icon. It’s a flower shop au AND a coffee shop au babyyy.

I can only assume from the remarkable quality of the writing that Keep him safe by @whatwashernameagain gets recommended a lot, as it RIGHTLY DESERVES. This fic is also incomplete, but so worth waiting for, each new chapter is a sucker punch of emotions and the character development is second to none. I’d definitely heed the trigger warnings on this one though, it does handle (very well and realistically) some darker themes. There’s also a raccoon named Cat and I love her.

A get-together and getting together by @hickory-dickory-doc-k Fake! dating! Fake! Dating! Fake! Dating! Fak- Ok but for real though guys this one is so gosh darn cute I dropped everything on Christmas day to rush upstairs and read it when the last chapter came out and I was grinning so much lemme tell you. I’ve read a lot of fake dating aus in my time and this one honestly takes the cake.

(I’d never) want once from the cherry tree written by @ace-corvid with gorgeous art to go with it by @blank-ace . YouTuber au!!! Virgil gets to be the chaotic conspiracy guy we know he secretly longs to be, and Roman gets the adoring fanbase he deserves. The humour is also on point. I mean, Deceit’s name in Virgil’s contacts is Snake fursona man, and honestly if that doesn’t sell it, I don’t know what will.

Of trying and towers by @parsnipit . An oldie but a classic, this story is phenomenal. It’s got action! It’s got magical curses! It’s got so many dragons! It’s got highkey terrified but also kinda badass Virgil! It’s so good you guys, the plot and the family bonding and hhhhhhh dragons are so cool.

Destined by @rosesisupposes . Oooooh this one has such a fun premise. Virgil’s a sage (kind of like a seer) and is just kinda vibing with the humans until sh*t goes down, ft sass, flirting, pun-based bakeries, and a coffee machine named Gilda. It’s great. I love it.

Long live by @meginoi . It’s!!! Essentially a really cool princess diaries au!!! How rad is that? Virgil is pretty much permanently stressed, but Pat and Lo are supportive bros and he ;) has ;) Roman ;) there ;) to ;) help.

Falling (falling) by @basically-i-write-shit . Don’t let their url fool you this fic is honestly so gripping, I stayed up way into morning bingeing it. Be warned though, it does handle some pretty dark topics, so heed the trigger warnings. ft. single dad Virgil and babysitter Roman!

Inks and tallies by @skittlesun . Tattoo 👏 artist 👏 Roman 👏 Frick 👏 Yeah 👏 Also by the same author, the amazing fic The betting pool is an absolute delight. Flirting galore. Go read it pls.

Late night, long night by @crowleyspraisekink . Virgil’s in a tank top and Roman is Gay Panic tm. Adorable, superb, 10/10.

A curse is a dream your heart makes by @romansleftshoulderpad This oneshot is a long boi but my god you will enjoy every single second of it. Roman gets cursed by the Dragon witch to act out classic Disney movies with Virgil, and it’s honestly so entrancing. Phenomenal writing.

Queen of fluff @not-so-innocent-bi-sander has so much adorable fics that I’m gonna link their whole masterlist because you deserve to treat yourself to their writing, and I’m also gonna add some quick links to my faves here because I love them: The reunion, Romance in the air…port, Guitar lessons. The first fic of theirs I read is the series The view from here, and it was so heartwarmingly sweet that it helped distract me from some pretty bad cramps, so I highly recommend you go check that out if you need a cute pick me up. It’s incomplete, but it’s mostly fluff and ongoing, so you won’t be left on any cliffhangers.

Thespian by @random-snippets is a heart-wrenchingly sweet hurt/comfort fic that I wholeheartedly recommend. Roman puts on a play in the imagination but neglects to tell Virgil that his character straight up dies at the end, and Virgil is understandably distraught. It’s ok though, Virgil gets love and hugs! Also just check out their masterlist because their writing is absolutely sensational, especially their pining!Virgil LAMP fics.

Through different eyes by @stars-and-rose . Roman’s a warlock who’s been ‘kidnapping’ Patton in an endearing attempt to get the handsome knight’s ;) attention. Super cute and a fun read, honestly it’s adorable.

@today-only-happens-once is another phenomenal writer who’s masterlist I’m also gonna link because they’re all! So! Good!!! Here’s some of my faves: Exposure therapy ft Ace!Roman, Acoustic, Always

A hero’s rescue by @stillebesat . Villain!Roman and Hero!Virgil ft a healthy dose of hurt/comfort and a a really cool premise. I go back and re-read this one a lot!

Welcome to the neighbourhood by @lefaystrent is incomplete, but it’s so goddamn hysterical that it’s going on here anyway. Their comedic genius is astounding. Some more of my favourites of theirs include: Roamin’ nights, Flutter and fall, Rewrite

Blink and you’ll miss it and waterspout by @greenninjagal-blog are both lovely reads which I highly recommend. Seriously guys their writing is amazing, go check them out.

Sweet dreams and Petals red as blood by @candied-peach are both gorgeously written and I absolutely adore them, 10/10.

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[buttercookie-art]

Disclaimer: I’m just a fan. Not a critic or a reporter, this is not my job.

I liked it, that doesn’t come as a surprise. It’s a fresh start after Endgame. I don’t have any pros and cons, really. All I want to talk about it’s spoiler and I can’t articulate without ruining the movie for the ones who haven’t seen it yet. It got released in Italy today, so I guess there are a lot more people who haven’t seen it yet who deserve to enjoy it as much as the others did. I don’t really recommend it for those who are sensible at lights, there’s a lot of flashing. For the arachnophobic peanuts out there: there’s a scene in a battle after Prague with a very close close-up of a spider, beware.

On the movie, without spoilers: it’s still fresh and young as the first movie, we see what happened after Tony’s snap and the consequences of it all. Teens are still teens, but this time on vacation. Overseas. It’s a holiday trip teen movie with a heavy “we’ve been hijacked by Nick Fury” twist. If you’re a teen, you’ll relate. If you’re past your teen years, you’ll definitely relate too! I mean, I took one (1) school trip in all my life and those things happened to me and my school mates too. Unfortunately not the Nick Fury’s related ones. There are two post credit scenes. Both will blow your mind. Especially if you’ve read some comics or did some research in the past years ;)

                                              Spoilers under the cut

Now, moving on the spoiler-y section (I took some notes, so it will be in order):

That powerpoint presentation with the fallen ones and I will always love you. Guys, I was choking back tears and laughter.

Idk about the other Country’s songs, but the Italian ones… Well, they were Italians but I’ve never listened to them before. I’d guess and say the second one was from Venice’s traditions, but I’m not really sure. Any Venetian who can confirm or deny??

Boh. Michelle learns it while in Venice. She says two things about its use: it could mean I don’t know and/or piss off. Wrong. Boh, means I don’t know. The piss off part was invented.

A thought about Peter trying to glue everything back in Venice: he did more than Government and Unesco to preserve the art and architecture lol 

Beck mentioning Earth 616 got me flipping. Also, it confirmed he was on the bad side from the very beginning, I found it clever. Not that I walked in the theatre with doubts about it

Continuing on Beck, his back story is very good. I can totally understand his motifs. I’m actually impressed with Sony and Marvel. Good job guys. I had some fears about it, ngl

Can we talk about the prison scene for a hot second? Hooligans or mere Netherlands nt supporters taking care of him? Giving him their shirt? Making Tom Holland wear a Holland jersey? I call this Pun service.

We’re going to replace #GiveTonyStarkabreak with #GivePeterParkerABreak, aren’t we?

I love Led Zeppelin. I wanted to smack him, but I was emotional.

Peter realising/knowing he can’t be the next Iron-Man because he is his own person/hero cleared my skin and watered my crops. I’ve been living on the edge thinking about Sony-Marvel screwing his character even more.

I have a love-hate relationship with Tony/Peter parallels, tbh

Happy has completely taken on his role as babysitter. One might even dare to say he’s a Steve Harrington 2.0. His relationship with May is cute, I like it better than May/JJJ ;)

We finALLY GOT SPIDER-MENACE AND J JONAH JAMESON!!!

JK Simmons playing J Jonah Jameson. My personal Marvel fan cast has happened. Not just mine, because I’ve seen other people dream about it too. I can’t believe it’s real. Someone pinch me. (Edit: I re-read this point and it looks like JK Simmons has never played JJJ before lol. What I mean is: I’m happy he reprised the role in the MCU, since I couldn’t think of anyone else to portray the character)

Everyone now knows who Spider-man really is. Like, at the end of the movie, with that voiceover, I thought we were going to get the infamous Civil War reveal (they had teased us at May’s party) so I knew it was coming… but like this? Almost utter shock.

Maria and Nick were Kree all along. Which explains why they felt a bit off, I even wrote I didn’t like how stupid and naive Fury acted in my notes. Happy there was an explanation at the end of the movie and not after it.

The actual Nick Fury is working on a Kree ship, in space… I guess the rumours about phase four being set mainly in space is confirmed.

Edit: I came down from cloud nine and wanted to talk about a few more things

Peter: home boi got good character development, but it came to a “cost”. We don’t really see his nerdy side, except for Nick/Thalos mentioning his love for pop culture, him getting excited about the multiverse and making his new suit. I wish we could see more of it, maybe in the next movie? But I doubt it. 

Michelle: if I had my doubts during Homecoming, now I have none. It’s still pretty weird that everyone calls her MJ, because she’s not. Mary Jane has always been that character portraited has the most beautiful and popular among the others. The angelic one. With a strong feminine look. Michelle is none of it. And I adore it. She likes things that are considered weird, wears dark clothes and Peter falls for her not for how she looks, but how she is. I’m very happy with how they have written her. Finally, a character played by a woman who it’s not portrayed as the “femme fatale”  nor the “strong woman tm”. She just a normal kid, with her own sense of humour and her own interests. 

Ned: There’s not enough. He has a few interactions with Peter and that’s it. I know that the movie has already a lot to show, but I really missed them together, plotting and getting in trouble

Zombies: one of Mysterio’s illusions was Tony’s grave from which an Iron Man zombie crawled out from. It was a great easter egg. And... maybe will see more of it in one of the Marvel’s What/Ifs?

Tony hate: second movie, second villain who turned bad because Tony Stark was a billionaire asshole. It makes sense, don’t get me wrong, they’re written very well but... I wonder for how long they can keep going now that he’s dead. I liked how they played this card, though. Lately, Tony’s has been portrayed as this good Samaritan guy only. Forgetting that he has his issues too, which they weren’t just mental health related. It was a good reminder.

[fortheheavenssake]

MM Anon 3

MM Anon 3

Oct. 1

MM ANON … 🎼” back to black”🎼…… uncomfortably reunion …… “ AND THE CROWDS WENT…… home”… “blend in with the POC”🤣🤣🤣🤣…… Pressed for time. …… PR with blinkers… don’t Sue the messenger …… Harry on camping…… background colour …… “ bloody African Queen ‘ don’t think so”…… “ returning after their triumphant tour “…… OMG’ it’s definitely her

——————

Oct. 2

MM ANON, This vacuous tart is in need of serious therapy ‘ she’s trying to intimidate the British press who employ Rottweilers as journalists and have brought down whole governments. They string antagonists up by their Gonads and bury pieces of flotsam like nutmeg alive. Not only is this virus on a hiding to nothing,she has underestimated the established reading matter of middle England ‘THE DAILY MAIL. ………… ‘popcorn darlings ‘ popcorn !!!!!!!!!!!

———————

MM Anon - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Oct. 2

MM ANON …… Dear Darlings ‘ today is my birthday 🎼 happy birthday to me🎼…………🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 2nd Oct. 1944. ……… “ a day that live in ignominy” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

—————-

Oct. 2

MM ANON …… Thank you dear Skippy and all your faithful helpers ………… your blog is a joy and a privilege to post on …… GBTQAOGC👑👑👑👑👑 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

You are so welcome! We are honoured to have you join us! You are loved!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oct. 2

MM ANON …… A TM visit?…… a pitiful cry for help …… “tears of a Crown”…… “ Philip’ stop swearing!!”…… ink block carnage … a scathing edi-TORY-al……”A Sunday surprise “…… “well,well,well’ fe-MAIL- empowerment”…… Fleet St. circling the wagons …… 🎼 “ Homeward bound, I guess ………” 🎼j…… … ace card archificial …… “SA’ well that was a dud Megs”…… leap-Frog to Calipornia 🤫🤫🤫

—————

Oct. 3

MM ANON …… rogue withdrawal …… a petulant rattle slays fleet st. …… royal analysis paralysis ……… “ settlement now!!!! ……TM lawyers up…… tabloid utopia …… “ This is a bloody tape diversion old thing “…………“A spitting Halloween 🎃 “……… “ remember ‘remember, the 5th of Nov.” …… “ Philip ‘ this year you give the Queen speech”…… 🎆🎇😱🇬🇧💩⚖️⚖️⚖️…… GBTQ.

——————

Oct. 3

MM ANON , UNDER THE RADAR!!!!!!!! The Queen probably has information and physical evidence appertaining to “It” regarding her “ lost” years. During the summer PW spent a week at MI6 at Vauxhall. ( being briefed?) what on? Suddenly this week there’s a story of a certain acquisition of a “tape” the next day , via H. she sues the MOS regarding a letter. (Smoke And Mirrors) The hinges are falling off that locked door on her past ………………………!!!!!!!! Allegedly.

——————

Oct. 4

MM ANON …… Meanwhile at CH…… A Family meeting’ o dear!!…… “ One is apoplectic with disappointment “… (two red faces)…… “ this isn’t a game of happy f%#@k families!!!”…… an atmospheric cut…… legs and tails …… They Aga successful …… in the brown Windsor soup……a green beret chum…… nutmeg begs…… happy Harry …… SS documentary’s doom.

——————-

Oct. 4

MM ANON …… Smoke and Mirrors divert us from the elephant in the doom!!!, nothing to do with nutmegs bawling in the bathroom over being picked on by those nasty hacks 🤣🤣🤣 or hacked phones (it’s a daily mine field for the high profiled) abysmal failure on behalf of their security. It’s the tape darlings ‘ murkmegs very sore-did past. Popcorn’POPCORN 🍿 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

—————-

Oct. 5

MM ANON …… chocolate sundae …… don’t give up your day job …… single exit west …… a SMALL diversion … “ is he mine?” …… home alone ………… “ I fear for them Philip” …… Duty calls …… 🎼” you wore out your welcome with random precision “🎼……… “ we must talk Harry”……… jack and Jill went up the hill ……… “ it’s all on This memory stick.

—————

Oct. 5

Does this mean PiersM is a friend of Her Majesty (👑) or a friend of MM?

So many players, so much darkness in this schtick. My brain is fried. Thank you Skippy🐼

——————-

Oct. 6

MM ANON … the Queen …… “ one can’t choose ones family “…… “ Philip loves me doing Melania” …… “I rather liked Donald “ …… “ l frightening Vlad…… “ on our day together she never stopped yapping “ … “Harry ‘ we all make mistakes “… “ the little one, she’s a fireball “ …… “Camilla says she’s illiterate “ … “ what sort of name was that!!!!!”…” What!! Christmas ‘she’ll be lucky “ … “LG ‘ that’s why it’s called the Queens speech ‘ so f#@ck them!!”

————-

Oct. 7

MM ANON …… “MORGAN ‘ a suitable case for treatment” …… sue- da - nam?

————-

Oct. 7

MM ANON … Calapornia Dreem-in…… “ To be ‘ or Not to be…” …… “ I made a bit of a boob”……… “ the real Mc- COY darlings “…… “ artistic lie- sense …… “ not my best work”

—————

Oct. 7

MM ANON …… This is only my opinion on the validity of the alleged article. AN OPINION!! like skippy suggested in all posts , re disclaimer ……… what would be verified in this situation is “ face recognition tech.” ANYBODY?????? 👃🏾👁👄👂

————-

Oct. 7

MM ANON … lets move on!!!!…… fab unfore-tunate…… pre tour panic… …a fleet-ing vengeance …… “ don’t take this personally”…… “ you have TWO choices”…… “ get your bloody head out the sand”…… “it’s crumbling around your feet”……… “ baby ‘ what baby?”…… “we’re gonna need a bigger Bank”…… 🎼” if I was a rich man”🎼

——————

Oct. 8

MM ANON … ABANDON YOURSELF TO GOD AS YOU UNDERSTAND GOD ,GIVE OF YOURSELF SELFLESSLY AND JOIN US ,WE SHALL BE WITH YOU IN THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE SPIRIT AND YOU WILL SURELY MEET SOME OF US AS YOU TRUDGE THE PATH OF HAPPY DESTINY ‘ MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU UNTIL THEN. thanks to all contributors. MM anon.

—————

Oct. 8

MM ANON … fab two ‘ future Queen……future king …… also rans …… three weddings and a refusal …… Archie-bargy …… a dog with no name …… silent screaming past…… 🎼” there may be trouble ahead “🎼…… “ if I tell you ‘ I’d have to…… “…… everyone is scarfing …… (another private flight)…… Branson island … Mail on payday… … “ please boo the buggers”

Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

—————-

Oct. 8

MM ANON …… This is only my opinion on the validity of the alleged article. AN OPINION!! like skippy suggested in all posts , re disclaimer ……… what would be verified in this situation is “ face recognition tech.” ANYBODY?????? 👃🏾👁👄👂

—————

Oct. 9

MM ANON …… “ sorry, not today thank you “…… never EVER explain …… “what happens in house, stays in-house”. ……a special briefing …… another cover-up?…… … glowing anticipation …… special forces …… “unprecedented care”…… a very tired PR …… public appearance nerves …… “we’ll pay you handsomely”…… “she’ll do it or suffer the consequences”

—————-

Oct. 10

MM ANON ……corespondents under the radar …… “MA to MM”…… 🎼” gimme a ticket for an aeroplane”🎼…… “ my baby wrote me a letter” “ I’ve seen the contents of several”…… ‘ thank you LG.”…… “were in need of another f#@ing hole”…… Sheeran a common problem ……” drag her along ‘ your joking”… not seen’ not heard, GOOD!!!!…… Christmas 🧣 scarfs …… 🎼Back in the USA”🎼…… “friends thou hast and their adoption tried ”…(very trying!!!)

——————-

Oct. 10

MM ANON, for Mr Skippy, “ take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear wittiness of thy love ,thy power and thy way of life “ …… GOD BLESS YOU BOTH. 💜💜💜💜🧡🧡🧡🧡

—————

Oct. 11

MM ANON … aggressive tabloid PR…… desperate image…… manipulate a student …… public fear…… ((loving wife and mother))…… 🎼” Money, get away”🎼…… a fence for Harry …… “ how do I milk this”…… most dangerous tour…… “ I guess I never got the memo”…… the natives are getting restless …… nutmegs public anticipation …… Scrambled eggs!!

—————

Oct. 12

MM ANON … Sunday sensation??……… LG will give the word…… lots of dirty dirt…… 🎼” love me or leave me”🎼…… when the going gets tough ……”…… “ not another chicken dinner”…… “ is She nice”…… “ I think you should know something”. …… “ Fair is foul,and foul is fair”…… WOW!! ace down the line!!…… “advantage MOS”… location,location vexation.

—————-

Oct. 13

MM ANON … “ THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK …… 🎼”Sparkles spangles, see how they shine, sing-a-linga “🎼…… Tom the Bomb… “A woman of sub-stance🤣”…… maybe ‘ sex lies and video tape … 🎼” when you come to the end of a lollipop”🎼… ……” A kid for two farthings” …… “ you know how to whistle don’t you Harry”…… “an obvious cuckold…… “…… home to roost”

————-

Oct. 13

MM ANON, Tom Bowers , Britain’s most feared biographer is going to write a “TELL ALL” Tome on the evasive one , will we expect 🎼sparkles spangles, your heart will sing , jing-jing-a-ling a 🎼…… OMG, the anticipation for this one is EPIC , 🎼 yachting, hotting, see how she lays ,toss-a-lotta🎼 This author flays his victims alive ‘ WE WAIT IN APOPLECTIC SUSPENSE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣PLEASE TOM DO TELL “EVERYTHING!, emails,sexts And video tapes. 🎼”Sparkles spangles and deeds”🎼

—————-

Pakistan Tour 14-18

Oct. 14

MM ANON …… Pakistani perfection ……”will anything ever happen?” …… “ she’s a disease” …… HMTQ is feeling the strain ……… oh’ oh , the green eyed monster …… “MA has all the answers” …… ( and the evidence)………” if I had a penny ……… “…………” she got to show, to much gossip!!” ……… “ Harry, Dear heart, pull your head out of the sand” …… “it’s Kismet old thing,kismet!! “

————

Oct. 15

MM ANON ……A sense of humour ‘ tuk tuk …… 🎼nobody does it better 🎼……… REAL ROYALTY …… ‘after the Lord Mayor show came the dustcart …… Charlotte the “NEW”future people’s Princess 👸 …… Little Louie people’s Prince 🤴 ……… “, it’s nutmeg crumble for desert marm,…… “ that’s the bloody way to do it!!!”…… “ what’s that other silly tart doing?”…… “it’s a mystery Philip”

————

Oct. 16

MM ANON …… On the banks of Huntspill River …… a pretty Sum-erset …… O dear ‘ how not to be princely …… 🎼” everybody’s doing the loco- emotion”🎼……… In the real steps of his mother…… “Protocol, dignity and humour “…… Their successes drove her apoplectic …… LIZARDS 🦎 ……” please George ‘ don’t do that”🦎🦎🦎…… … Nanny doesn’t like🦎🦎🦎…… “I miss the children”…… ROYAL AIR FORCE ONE. …… MI6 and the visit??…… “ de visit was spectacular ‘ de-brief was better”. ……” Thanks M.”

————

Oct. 16

MM ANON… nutmegs agenda ‘ write his nauseating tome, push in front, psychologically undermine him , feed his anger and resentment for W&K! , Don’t get near the public ( fears of rejection), continue emotional blackmail, put pressure and endorse his lack of self esteem ,psychotropic drugs?, cry and keep asking him why people hate you ‘, convince him the BRF are against both of them …… question his grasp on reality. This is her agenda ‘ allegedly. Speculation of course.

——————

Oct. 16

MM ANON … after one year of marriage the boys a total wreck , mounting the Dias in Africa all disoriented ,and blubbering at child works , he’s in a psychotic purgatory that she continues to perpetuate. How does Harry dump the faux bump and find true happiness????? Britain is waiting for the inevitable divorce and the English rose Harry will one day meet. It’s Kismet LG ,pure Kismet!! “ Cry God for Harry’………… “.

—————

Oct. 16

MM ANON …Harry’s split second mishap…… A choreographed comforter. …… 🎼” 19th nervous breakdown” 🎼…… a plethora of past lovers … 🎼” we have no secrets”🎼🤣🤣…… The announcement,an unstable Stable. …… 🎼” I’m not in love, so don’t forget it” 🎼……… fixan a vixen. ……… nutmeg on Toast……… MA” is he mine? Yup!! ……” accolades on the return”.

—————

Oct. 17

MM ANON …… Thank you for the wonderful and ingenious humour LH. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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Oct. 18

MM ANON …… “Festering,yes”💸💸💸💸”it’s a struggle” 💸💸💸💸……… comment section ‘ #@&*#¥……… “ I was flying “…… 🎼” Never cried when granny died 🎼”……soon,wonderful weekend with the children …… FaceTime mummy’🦎🦎🦎🦎……… “ Kate , ones so proud”…… “ you’re a stalwart William “ …… “ you’re very pretty dressed as a Unicorn 🦄 “…… $h!t !! She’s gone nuclear!, …… well’ that Doc was a load of boll***.…… “shhhh’ I heard that too!!”… gossip darlings ‘ gossip!!… “ all that glitters,”

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Oct. 18

MM ANON, OMG , Harry’s festering, nutmegs struggling, Archificial is having an identity problem. ( “ I wanna know who’s my dad’) ……… “ is it mine”, nutmeg gazing towards a distant horizon, someone with a all knowing smirk gazing back from distant horizon ‘. And there both going to try and flog this p!$$poor Documentary to the savvy Brits. Are they both off their f#@ing trolly , who TF wants to see them whining about how they struggle on 20 million a year , not those trying to pay a mortgage.

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Oct. 18

MM ANON , “ not many people asked if I was alright”, well I wasn’t alright…… , Ahhhhhh , what a shame nutmeg,perhaps if you didn’t fake your pregnancy people would have warmed to you ‘ ( NO , DONT THINK SO ). So nutmeg plays the poor me card , poor me, poor me pour me a drink. ………… I wonder what the RPO conversation is when she’s not being obnoxiously present. , she apparently treats everyone like 💩💩💩💩. I have news nutmeg, Britain doesn’t give a $h!t.

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October. 19

MM ANON …… “ O no , not another f%#ing beautiful Sunday “…… All together, a ROYAL reunion 🦄🦎👸🤴… “ she’s not invited, again🧣“……” O Philip, do lets watch this documentary 🤣🤣“ …… “Really, old thing, really ?”…… “ bloody hell , Charlottes a better actress “……… “ Mummy!! I’ve lost my 🦎” ……” What next LG , the Caribbean and North America with the children?”…… “ Mmmm , Marm that would work ,next year’ someone will be jealous!!” …… “ “what’s that ol’ thing , I’m reading skippy Philip”.

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Oct 19

MM ANON , “THEY DON’T MAKE IT EASY”, I’M OKAY, can’t wait for the trawling that the whiner is going to be subjected to. The comments section of the DE&DM and MOS is 95% negative, and aggressively anti Megain. The Mocumentary will only draw more humiliation and subtle sarcasm from the tabloids. Juxtaposition this with the shining success W&K received on their return from Pakistan and you have the pulse of National opinion. The big takeaway is “Nutmeg is hated”.

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