#someone let me yap :c
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When a vulture starts circling during the first scene with Smoke and Stack over the old sawmill. Then a second. (and the screen being split using the sky and sawmill) A third shows up when Hogwood finally arrives. The same vultures circle Bert and Joan's house when Remmick shows up. JUST- THE DELICIOUS FORESHADOWING.
#3 for Smoke Stack and Hodwood#3 for Remmick Bert and Joan#😌#I'm gonna assume they were audience only vultures cause the Choctaw didn't seem to notice the omens#They're never in the sky with Sammie even with all the shots with him#he gets the moon instead#there are so many wonderful little hints and details in this movie#the milk left at Annie + Smoke's baby's grave#probably cause Annie is still producing so the death was recent....#Smoke getting flowers from the Chow's to put on the grave#Annie threatening Smoke with a shaving razor#probably the same one Smoke used#"I don't want none of that smoke getting on this baby'#or whatever the line is so Elijah has to leave his Smoke persona behind to be with his family#SAMMIE NAMING HIS BAR AFTER PEARLINE#I can't get this movie out of my head#Remmick probably being a Fili#thinking the Choctaw will be friendly cause of his Irish roots trying to take their sacred fire then going after Sammie for his music#all three tribes from the start of the movie GOOD SHIT#sinners#I could yap forever#someone let me yap :c
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Guys guys guys guys
80s!Astarion. OH! MY GOD! literally QUAKING.
#another modern au for bexy boy#bex babbles#c: astarion#f: baldur's gate#he gets a tag now#astarion#someone. yap at me about this.#no let ME yap at YOU about this#bc im the god of this au
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It's very easy to misurestand H:SR Kaeya's past, expecially if somebody happens to stumble into the only existent picture of him that exists in tangible form, without the Enigmata powers distorting it:
It's some sort of mugshot. The background is a blinding white, which makes his lack of shadow behind him stand out. He's wearing a light blue hospital gown with cobalt waves loose down his shoulders.
His expression is empty. He looks haunted, mismatched eyes clearly in view and devoid of the curious shine that characterizes him nowadays. Even in the form of paper, it looks like he's staring right back at whoever found the photo and is scrutizining this tired, young man.
If one was to find this particular photo of him, they could misconstruct Kaeya as an escaped facility experiment. He's certaintly okay with it- the more confusing elements in his story, the better.
#from another realm ━ (ooc)#riddle me this; is everything that you remember real and nothing but the pure truth? ━ (H:SR V.)#i should draw this one... but yes this can be plotted on#this photo isnt top secret and can be found by your muse. id love to see the reactions to someone who knows happy kae.ya by now#let him yap about the entire LL thing and how his mental health was down before it happened and got even WORSE after#if ur muse is good at finding stuff they can totally find this one and pry him of this big secret#or make a few pieces click for themselves c:#IF i do kickstart a plot with someone im gonna draw this for reference
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[ req? yes / no ]
𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗘 ─── anton is obsessed with you , so obsessed he’d change himself for you …
( 対 ) yandere!lee chanyoung + fem. reader wc. 0.5k genre yandere · contains! possessive nature , stalking , non consensual filming , masturbation mature content. / back to library
𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ probably the craziest thing i’ve written about him..

it catches you off guard at first; meeting anton. it was almost perfect, a little too perfect. he was sweet , he liked everything you liked , he even dressed the way you preferred seeing guys in , sure he was a little nerdy , but that was fine , he was cute — it was like he was tailored towards you , made for you.
and that’s cause he was; anton had changed himself completely into someone he knew you would like. and how did he know? because he stalked you for months , studying your every move to learn everything about you — he knew where you lived , where you shopped , what your favorite things were , your favorite food; anything about you he probably knew it.
you were none the wiser; he was just too kind to you. you believed that he would never hurt you. and this is what he wanted , he wanted you to let him into your world , which you did.
“he’s kinda weird all he does is sit there and watch you, like a little stalker.” your friend said , and it pissed you off a bit. “he’s just a little shy , leave him alone.” you said. “he’s fucking possessive yn, never lets you go anywhere with out him , all he wants to do is stay home with you.” it made you mad; how dare they talk about him like that — so what he wanted to stay home and just be with you? you didn’t mind that , you love spending time with him. “whatever.” you got up , to call him , knowing he got anxious when you didn’t call. “look at her , she doesn’t even see it.” your other friend said to herself.
if only you’d listen to them , paid attention just a little bit — you’d see that they were right; anton. under that shy nerd façade, he was obsessed with you. when you left him it made his heart hurt , even though he knew where you were because of the tracking app he installed on your phone , he could see where you were every single day all day.
even when you were at your house without him; which wasn’t often , he was watching through the camera of a small figurine that he bought you on a whim. he could see everything in your bedroom. he’d spend hours on end , just watching you. his cock hard in his slacks , even when you didn’t do anything , just your mere existence made him hard. taking his thick hard cock out , spending the next few hours tugging and stroking his cock raw at you doing something as simple as laying down watching television , or eating a snack.
he’d even watch when you were calling him , he’d literally be on the phone , while watching you, fisting his cock while he listen to you yap about anything , but on the screen he could see what you were wearing , a t-shirt with a pair of panties , he could see the outline of your cunt — he so desperately wanted to see you in person , he wanted to rip that flimsy shirt off and suck on your tits while pounding into you. he’d cum for the umpteenth time, still hard and this wasn’t helping. “c-can i come over?” he stuttered, covered in his cum. “why you miss me that much?” you teased. “of course you can , you’re always welcomed here.”
he quickly told you he’d be there , hanging up to clean himself off , stuffing his cock that was still hard into his sweats , practically running out his apartment to see you in person.

©️LUVYENI
#riize x reader#riize smut#riize fic#riize hard thoughts#riize hard hours#riize imagines#riize scenarios#anton hard hours#anton x reader#anton hard thoughts#anton scenarios
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love, factually
in which Spencer explains the facts behind love in a mildly suggestive way
cw: implied suggestive content, sfw. fem!reader. Spencer just yapping about biology and evolution teehee a/n: this is fully self induldgent because i love to yap about biology. maybe you'll learn something from this, who knows? a very short piece of work while i create something longer. this has not been edited <3 w/c: 900 words
‘You know, for someone so rational, you get awfully sentimental sometimes,’ you tease, voice light but deliberate.
Spencer watches the smile tug at your lips, then (dramatically) removes your legs from his lap like he’s been wounded. Offended. Insulted. ‘Sentimental? Me? Never.’
You laugh as he gives a faux scoff, only to shift your legs right back where they were. He doesn’t protest. Just lets your calves drape over his thighs and settles his hands on bare skin, fingers tracing idle circles just above your knees.
‘I’m not sentimental,’ he insists, fingers tightening in mock warning, enough to make your breath catch. ‘Just… selectively emotional.’
‘Mm, of course,’ you murmur, clearly unconvinced. ‘You apologised to my dying fern today, Spencer. That’s not giving selective. That’s giving deeply emotional.’
‘She’s struggling!’ he says with a soft laugh, head tipping back slightly. His eyes crinkle at the corners, and your chest goes warm. ‘She needs care.’
‘She?’ you echo, tucking a soft brown curl behind his ear. His fingers still for a second at the gesture, then resume their lazy patterns.
‘It’s a fern,’ he replies with pretend indignation. ‘It’s not going to be a he.’
You tap his nose, smirking. ‘Sentimental,’ you conclude, and it’s like putting a period on the conversation.
He turns toward you more, shoulder pressing against yours, heat radiating from his skin. Closem warm. Subtle, but intentional. He doesn’t pull back. Doesn’t want to.
‘Fine,’ he concedes. ‘But that’s not down to me. It’s down to science. Evolution.’
‘Oh, here we go again,’ you say, throwing your arms up in fake dispear, grinning at him. ‘Love: just oxytocin and dopamine and whatever other scientific explanation you have for sentimentality that’s stored in your encyclopaedia-brain.’
He chuckles. Short, low, lips pressing into a crooked smile. ‘Love does exist because of oxytocin and dopamine. And evolution. And natural selection.’
You arch a brow, skeptical, but amused. ‘Romantic.’ Sarcasm. ‘Please, go on.’
He leans closer, close enough for the hem of his shirt to brush your side, for his breath to caress your cheek. His thighs shift, angling your hips more toward him. When he speaks again, its in a quiet and focused tone, almost reverent. The one he uses when explaining something complex, something fascinating.
‘Mutual investment theory,’ he begins, each syllable slow and deliberate. He says it like it’s the sexiest phrase on the planet. And maybe it is, coming from him. ‘Pair bonding kept early animals together. Emotional attachment increased cooperation – sharing food, dividing work, mutual protection. It wasn’t just about sex, but survival. And survival,’ he adds, eyes falling to your lips for a fleeting moment, ‘wasn’t easy in early hominid societies.’
He watches your response. Pure amusement combined with total perplexion. You blink, lips parting slightly.
‘So, what you’re saying,’ you pause, ‘is that biology wants us to… cuddle?’
‘Biology is insisting on it, actually.’
Another shift. His hands now; one slides around your waist, the other supporting your thigh as he pulls you on to his lap. Slow, fluid, sure. You go willingly, legs straddling his hips, hands automatically finding the sharp line of his shoulders.
‘You’re really trying to seduce me with natural selection?’ you ask, and he smiles at the way your voice is a shade more breathless than before.
‘Is it working?’ His hands settle on your back, one tracing beneath the fabric of your shirt. Up and down your spine, featherlight and teasing, feeling each dip and ridge of the bone.
There’s heat in that question. Intentional. Undeniable. Heavy. He dips his head, lips brushing beneath your jaw. It’s barely a kiss, more a breath against your skin. You hum in response, leaning into the contact. He lets his mouth linger there a second longer, then slides towards the hollow beneath your ear.
‘So,’ you whisper, ‘biologically speaking, your instincts think I’m a good mate?’
His lips pull away, but not far, letting out a soft huff.
‘Technically, it’s your instincts,’ he murmurs. His voice sounds like smooth honey. ‘Female mate choice is a primary driver of sexual selection. Females choose their partners based on traits, behaviours, physical indicators of health and intelligence…’
He trails off, another kiss pressed to your skin. You almost groan. Because only he could make Darwin sound like foreplay.
‘But,’ he adds, lifting his head to meet your eyes. ‘my instincts are screaming at me too, I suppose.’ His gaze is slightly glassy, pupils wider than normal in anticipation, but his voice remains impossibly steady.
Your hands slide from his shoulders to his neck, thumbs brushing the hinge of his jaw, feeling the stubble beneath your fingers. They thumbs maintain the gentle brushing movement as you continue, feeling the tension lingering beneath his skin.
‘Are they now? And what are they saying?’
His eyes flick to your mouth again. Then back up.
‘They’re telling me that you’re very good for my survival. In an evolutionary way, of course.’
Your breath hitches, caught somewhere between a laugh and something else. ‘That so?’
‘Mhm,’ he hums. Leans in. Brushes his lips to yours. Just a suggestion, not a kiss.
You attempt to chase it.
‘Well, I can’t argue with biology,’ you whisper back.
He kisses you properly, then. Slow and intentional. Like he’s testing a hypothesis he already knows the answer to. You’re just providing the evidence – for a theory that nature figured out long ago.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#cobbled-peach#fanfic#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic
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⟢ lowkey - nsr



pairings: badboy! riki x fem! reader || fluff, crack || wc: 5k
synopsis: news flash! nishimura riki is finally mature enough to acknowledge his feelings for you and he wants to let you know! but what would he do? A. try to feed you? B. walk you home? C. many more. or D. all of the above? warnings: hes not really a badboy...just more of a get into fights/suspensions boy, loosely based / integrated from the anime - my little monster, highschool! au, petnames, playful banter, teasing, confident ni-ki, shy reader, swearing, - lmk if i missed out anything! playlist: lowkey - niki, moonstruck - enhypen, your eyes only - enhypen, is this love - XG rin's yap: gawddd first try at writing an actual fic, big thanks to bby who sent in the ask, ily smm <3 do let me know what yall think about it!
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nishimura riki or ni-ki was too boisterous. too boisterous for your calm, simple minded nature. he was noisy, you were quiet. he was sporty, you were not. he had a reputation that followed him wherever he went, while you preferred to stay low and blend into the background. yet, despite these stark differences, he always seemed to gravitate towards you. shocking you by leaving random candies on your desk, doodles on your notebook and even occasionally gives you a smile or two whenever your eyes meet. you thought to yourself, countless times even, on the reasons why ni-ki would shower you with these subtle affections. little do you know that the man, the myth himself, has a major crush on you. ni-ki took note of every simple detail about you. from how you’ll do your hair - a simple ponytail on mondays to thursdays and a small tidy bun on fridays since there was gym class. he also noticed how you’ll forget to have your lunch when you are caught up on annotating your textbook, and today was the day he spoke up about it.
ni-ki’s footsteps echoed through the classroom as the door swung open. his usual confident stride was back after his suspension, as if nothing has changed, though the whispers around him had already started. he flashed his signature smirk to the few people who dared make contact, his reputation clearly preceding him. most of the students avoided him, but not you. you didnt really have time to keep your head into these dramas, and you certainly didnt understand why everyone cared so much about his return. yet, for some reason, there he was, standing at the entrance of your usual seat. “you mind if i sit here?” ni-ki asked, his voice laced with a lazy confidence, like it wasnt even a question.
you blinked, trying not to show the hesitation in your eyes. the desk next to yours was the only one left open. you nodded, but the words caught in your throat as he slid into the seat without waiting for your approval.
his eyes briefly scanned the open space on your desk - notes, pens, textbooks and the untouched lunch you had packed earlier.
“you busy?” ni-ki asked, as if making small talk with you was his second nature. his tone was nonchalant, like he was speaking to someone he had known for years, even though you had barely exchanged a couple of sentences before.
you glanced at him, then back at your notebook. “kind of.” ni-ki hummed, playing with the contents in your pencil case. “kind of? looks more like youre drowning in notes.”
you sighed, placing your pen down. “its lunch period, if youre not here to study, why are you sitting here and bothering me? shouldnt you be in the cafeteria or something?” he leaned forward slightly, elbow propped on the desk, resting his chin on his fist. “but you havent eaten.” ni-ki said lazily. his eyes stared at your lunch then back at you. “how do you-” “you do this a lot, get too caught up in work, forget the time then boom - lunch period passes and your lunch gets forgotten.” your mind went blank upon hearing the words that just escaped from ni-ki’s mouth. he described that usual routine so perfectly that for a second you wondered - do doppelgangers exist in this world? you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt realised until you heard the presence beside you speak up again.
“eat.” ni-ki said as he nudged your lunchbox towards you.
you hesitated, scanning his face for any sign of teasing, but he looked…oddly serious. it was strange, having someone notice such a small habit of yours, much less some like ni-ki. at that moment, you found yourself staring at him - from his jaw to the countless moles on his face, to his lazy-looking eyes and the stray strands of hair resting on his nose. damn. he look…good.
“do you want me to feed you or something?” you blinked as you register his words. what in the world was he saying now? “come on yn, lunch period is ending in 10 minutes. chop chop.” ni-ki said as he took your lunchbox, opening it and passing you the sandwich you prepared for yourself earlier this morning, bringing it up to your lips.
“i-i can eat it myself.” you snatched the sandwich away and turned the opposite reaction. taking a bite as you feel blood rushing up to your cheeks.
upon seeing you shying away from him, ni-ki leaned back on his chair, arms crossed and a knowing smirk growing on his face. he admired the sight in front of him and it killed him to not take this chance to tease you even more, and what he says next really drove you insane.
“good girl”
then you choked. ➽──────────────❥➽──────────────❥
you were so caught up in your thoughts that you barely noticed the bell ringing, signaling the end of class. as you packed your thing into your bag, your mind drifted back to earlier - specifically, the moment when ni-ki pointed out that habit of yours.
“but you havent eaten”
“do you want me to feed you or something?”
“good girl”
your cheeks warmed again at the thought of his words. he was right, as much as it embarrassed you. it wasnt the first time you had forgotten to eat, but hearing him call you out on it felt different somehow - like there was a tinge of affection wrapped up in those sweet words.
as you were wrapping up your thoughts, you attempted to slip out of your seat, but you froze when ni-ki’s voice reached your ears.
“ready to go?”
you turned your head, confused. “ready to go where?”
his smirk remained as he gave you a nonchalant shrug. “home.” and that was how you suddenly found yourself walking side by side with ni-ki.
you cant lie, you dont have many friends. you chose to be part of a small, quiet circle that only hung out every once in awhile, mostly just to study or to catch up. your day to day was simple and predictable - go to school, proceed home, study then lastly, sleep. and so, it repeats again and again.
is he doing all these out of pity? is he…looking down on me?
it was unplanned, uncalled for even. you cant help but wonder if his actions covered up for any malicious intentions. but here you were, leaving the classroom and walking down the hallway, your footsteps in sync despite the silence hanging between you as you both made your way out of school. you glanced up at him, his hands shoved casually into his pockets, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.
“so, whats your deal?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.
ni-ki raised an eyebrow, glancing at you sideways. “my deal? you have been avoiding me.”
you stopped walking for a brief second. “i havent been-”
“yeah, you have.” he cut in smoothly. “you have been acting different lately, quieter. you dont usually keep to yourself.
fuck. why is he noticing every single thing?
but you could feel your heart skip a beat at his words. was it that obvious? you tried to brush it off, but his presence was so overwhelming, it was hard to hide anything. you forced a casual shrug. “its nothing.”
ni-ki raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “uh huh. sure. you have been way too quiet. no more random laughter with friends in class. not raising hands to answer questions anymore. you are usually…not this distant.”
you tried to think of a response but found yourself coming up short. was he always this perceptive? or were you just that readable?
“what about you?” putting up a more defensive front after being called out. “you dont exactly make it easy for people to talk to you.”
he just gave you a lazy grin. “i dont need people to talk to me. i have got everything i need.”
you blinked, unsure how to respond to that. his self-confidence, or maybe arrogance, was something that always threw you off. it was like he know he had the power to make anyone talk, but didnt care enough to do so.
“so, whats the plan after school?” ni-ki asked, his voice casual again, like the conversation had never left that easy, confident tone.
“im going to study.” you said quickly, almost instinctively, though your thoughts were drifting to the last few hours of class.
“of course you are. you always study, but you need a break.” he said as he turned, walking backwards now, his gaze never leaving you. “maybe i’ll join you someday, keep you company while youre at it. who knows, maybe i could even tutor you.”
your heart did a strange flip at his words, but you tried not to show it. “yeah, right. you spend more time being suspended than actually being at school, and you think you can tutor me?”
he shrugged, as if the idea didnt faze him at all. “well if you never try, you’ll never know.” he shot you a wink. “the invitation is always up, you could just give me a ring or drop me a text whenever.”
you hummed, trying to stay calm while still processing the casual ‘invitation’ ni-ki had offered to you. you wanted to snap something back, but the air between you was thick with something you didnt quite understand. was this the way he usually operated? you couldnt tell if he was serious or if he was just messing with you.
the walk home continued in silence, but your thoughts were racing. ni-ki was… unpredictable, and that made you nervous in a way you werent used to.
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and so, the weekend came along and not once did you leave ni-ki’s mind.
it wasnt like he didnt have other things to do. he had a routine - friends, his usual chaos - but somehow his thoughts kept drifting back to you. the way you blushed when he teased you about your lunch, the way you avoided meeting his gaze and the strange tension between you both that had been hanging ever since that walk home.
he didnt get it. you were different from the usual crowd he interacted with. quiet, reserved. he was used to people talking around him, trying to get his attention, but you…you didnt try at all.
maybe thats what made you so interesting. and alluring.
he found himself staring at his phone more than usual, waiting for a message from you. he had dropped the invitation, and part of him thought you had just ignored it. but another part of him wonder if maybe, just maybe you would reach out.
his fingers hovered over the keys, typing and deleting messages, not sure how to play this out. he wasnt used to feeling like this, like there was something worth waiting for.
with a frustrated breath, he tapped out a quick message, keeping it casual, trying to convince himself.
okay, you got this. just send the message. easy-peasy, no pressure.
he stared at the screen for a moment longer, then, with a sigh, he sent it.
ni-ki hey, its ni-ki just thought i'll remind you the offer is still open ;)
ni-ki stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, waiting for a reply. his thumb hovered over the phone, already anticipating the silent rejection or the awkward radio silence that might follow. you see, ni-ki is a boy who dreams big, but he does not know how to achieve his dreams. he is not sure on the ways to approach or even to impress you. he is just placing his bets on the weird and awkward gestures he does to catch your attention, and something about his gut told him this time - that it he has a shot.
still, he tried not to get this hopes up too much.
the minutes dragged on, and his eyes flicked back to his phone again and again, even though he knew it was ridiculous.
finally, the screen lit up. his heart skipped a beat.
it was a reply.
yn thanks for the reminder i'll think abt it
his lips quirked into a small, knowing smile. it wasnt exactly a ‘yes’, but it wasnt a ‘no’ either. but he was determined to make you say ‘yes’.
ni-ki well if ure gonna think abt it u might as well take me up on the offer
he hit send, then tossed the phone to the side, trying to distract himself with anything else. but as always, his mind drifted back to you. was he coming off too strong? was he annoying you?
a ping sounded, and he instantly grabbed his phone.
yn youre serious about this huh?
ni-ki smirked, tapping a finger to his chin like he was trying to play it cool. he then replied quickly.
ni-ki i mean it wasnt a joke in the first place besides im pretty sure i could teach u a thing or two
yn im not so sure abt that im fine studying on my own
he grinned, sensing an opportunity.
ni-ki i know u'll say that but we both know ure not the greatest at keeping up w anyth and everyth remember what happened during that lunch period? classic example of u getting lost in your work dont think i didnt notice
there was a long pause, and ni-ki started to think he might have pushed it too far. but then, his phone buzzed again.
yn youre really observant huh? you sound very much like a stalker but abt ur offer im not sure abt it im not yk the best study buddy
ni-ki laughed to himself before replying almost instantly.
ni-ki ure prob right but thats why u need me and yk me irl so i cant be deemed as a stalker :) plus i promise i wont bite unless u want me to
ni-ki cringed at the last part but he didnt want to delete it. thinking to let you decide how to comprehend that.
yn :l fine i'll give it a shot but dont expect me to enjoy it
ni-ki's grin widened. he had won this round.
ni-ki deal see? that wasnt so hard
yn whatever i'll see u tmr then mr tutor
he laughed before typing out his last reply.
ni-ki cant wait to see u tmr promise it'll be fun :)
once done, he leaned back against his bed, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips. he wasnt sure what he had been expecting, but the fact that you agreed made it feel like progress. it wasnt much, but for ni-ki, it was a step forward and a win, is a win.
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you found yourself in the strangest places at the oddest times.
and here you are, standing outside ni-ki’s doorstep on a bright and sunny, sunday afternoon.
honestly you didnt expected yourself to agree to his offer at all, but something about his persistent messages and the way he would playfully pushed you to study with him had gotten to you. so here you were - standing in front of a you never thought you would be near, at a time you definitely never saw coming, door.
you took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, wincing at how loud it sounded against the silence of the street. your thoughts were scattered, your mind racing through the worst-case scenarios. what if he gave you the wrong address? what if hes not home? you swallowed hard, trying to shake off the wave of nervousness crashing over you.
just then, the door opened with a soft creek, there he was - ni-ki, standing in the doorway, donning just a simple tank top with sweats, greeting you with that familiar cocky smile on his face.
“hey” he said, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. “you actually showed up.”
you couldnt tell if his smirk was a teasing one or was he genuinely impressed at the fact that you were standing right infront of his doorstep. either way, it did little to calm your nerves.
“well” you cleared your throat. “i said i would, didnt i?”
he grinned wider, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “i’ll believe it when i see it.”
you rolled your eyes, trying to hide the flush creeping up your neck. “so uh. where are we studying?” you asked, doing your best to sound casual.
he stepped aside, gesturing you to come in. “follow me. i have a study spot all set up.”
as you entered, the tension in your chest started to ease slightly. it was just studying right, right? you could handle this. but still, you couldnt shake the feeling that something had shifted between the two of you ever since that walk home.
the study session wasnt anything out of the ordinary - at least, thats what you tried to tell yourself. you and ni-ki were seated side by side, books scattered across the desk, his room quiet except for the occasional rustling of papers and the soft tapping of your pens.
you tried to focus on your notes, but it wasnt easy when he kept glancing at you. his gaze was so intense, and it made your stomach do these weird flips you couldnt explain. every time you looked to your side, he’ll be looking at you with that half-smirk of his.
“need help with that equation?” ni-ki asked casually, leaning over to look at your paper, your shoulders making contact, making you tensed.
“i-i got it.” you stuttered, quickly writing down the the answer and shifting your body aside, slightly tucking yourself inwards.
he chuckled softly, clearly amused by your reaction. “relax cutie, im just making sure youre not stressing too much.”
your heart beat faster at his words, especially by the petname he just called you. it wasnt the first time he had said something to put you at ease, but somehow it felt different today. you couldnt help but notice how gentle his tone was, how patient he was with you.
there was a brief silence before you felt him brush his fingers against your cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. his touch was light, but it sent an unexpected shiver down your spine.
“youre too close.” you muttered, trying to distract yourself by scribbling down more notes, but it was hard when his hand lingered in the air, still so close.
ni-ki didnt seem to mind the tension. instead, he leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving yours. “youre cute when youre flustered, you know that?”
you tried not to blush, but the heat creeping up your neck was unavoidable. “stop messing around.”
“im not messing around.” he replied softly, his voice suddenly more serious. he leaned towards you, resting his elbows on the desk, his gaze softening. “you know, i have been thinking about something.”
your eyes met his, and for a second, it felt like the whole world stopped. you felt nervous, your chest thumped in anticipation. you didnt know what he was about to say, but something told you it was important.
“wh-what?” you asked, barely above a whisper.
he hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking to your lips before returning to your eyes.
“i like you. a lot. like, more than just a study buddy. im not sure if you could tell, but i have been trying to get closer to you and i was praying all my gestures wouldnt shoo you away instead.”
your breath caught in your throat. you had not expect this moment, your heart raced, and you could feel the color rising in your cheeks, “ni-ki…”
he reached out, his thumb brushing the back of your hand gently. “i know this might sound sudden, but i like the way you are. quiet, thoughtful. you dont make a big deal out of anything. and…i think youre a lot more than you give yourself credit for.”
there was an awkward pause, and you werent sure what to say. you had been so focused on the fact that he was always the cool, aloof guy, that you had not noticed how serious he had been about this whole thing.
you did reciprocate his feelings back, but there was just one thing that was stopping you from doing so - his reputation. he was the headstrong boy who gets into fights and treats the world as his playground. you, on the other hand, were just an average girl exploring life one step at the time. both of you were polar opposites, and that scared you.
people had warned you about him before - teachers who sighed at the look of his bruised and battered sight, classmates who gossiped about his fights, the way he always seemed to get himself into troubles and brush it off like it was nothing. ‘he doesnt care about anything’ they said. ‘hes just looking for fun.’ but sitting here now, with the way he was looking at you, speaking so softly, so genuinely…you werent sure if that was true anymore.
before you could summarised your thoughts, ni-ki broke the silence, his voice playful again but with that soft edge of sincerity. “dont worry. im not expecting anything, not from you anyway. but i thought you should know.”
those four words that he slipped in hurt you in ways you couldnt explain. you wanted to admit your feelings for him but the fear still stays. however, something inside of you just wanted to give it a shot, not caring if you would get hurt in the process. life is full of growth anyways right?
“ni-ki” you said, still unsure of how to phrase your words.
he hummed, leaning close to you. “yeah?”
“im scared, but i want to try…wanna make this work. make this work with…you.”
➽──────────────❥➽──────────────❥
you and ni-ki did not settle on any label of your current in-between-friendship-situationship-relationship-state. instead, you both agreed to take this one step at the time, keeping things lowkey.
so when he texted you on a saturday night with a simple “wanna go out?”, you werent sure if he meant a date or just another random meet-up. but then again, did it matter?
the waves crashed gently against the shore as the two of you walked side by side, your footsteps sinking into the sand. the beach was quiet, save for the distant laughter of a few night strollers and the occasional rustling of the breeze. it wasnt planned, wasnt fancy - just the two of you, sneakers in hand, the salty air clinging to your skin.
“didnt think you would actually show up.” ni-ki mused, kicking a stray shell along the sand. his tone was light, but you caught a small smile tugging at his lips.
you scoffed, hugging your arms. “you do realise you texted me at, like, ten, right?”
“yeah, but youre here anyways.” he nudged you with his elbow. “you just cant resist me huh?”
you rolled your eyes, but your heart betrayed you, skipping a beat at the way he said it - so effortlessly, so naturally, like this thing between you had always been there.
the night stretched on as you walked, exchanging quiet conversation and playful remarks, but beneath it all, there was something else - something unspoken, lingering between your words - until ni-ki finally brought it up.
“you still scared?” he stopped to face you, his voice soft and you could tell he was serious, no teasing, no laughter. he didnt elaborate, but you knew exactly what he meant.
you hesitated, staring out at the dark horizon, “a little.”
ni-ki hummed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “good. means you actually care.”
he said it so simply, yet it made your chest tighten. you glanced at him, searching his face, and for once, he wasnt smirking. and in that moment you could tell - the facade was gone, he wasnt ni-ki but riki, just a boy looking at you like you were the only person on the stretch of sand.
you both now settled to sit on the sand, hearing the waves clash against each other as you both kept quiet. you studied his face once again, ni-ki hugged his knees, toes playing with the sand, the usual smirk on his face replaced with a faint frown. you could tell that he was distracted and for the first time, you felt his confidence falter and it was worrying you. his eyes didnt hold their playful spark, they were distant, thoughtful. you couldnt but ask.
“is everything okay?” your voice was soft, careful, unsure if you were stepping into something you shoudnt.
ni-ki looked at you, his expression unreadable for a moment. then, he sighed. “you ever wonder if people only see what they want to see?”
“what do you mean?” you blinked, processing his words, unsure of the hidden meaning behind his question.
he ran a hand through his hair, letting out another frustrated sigh. “i mean…im this ‘bad boy’ that everyone perceives me to be. i get into fights, i skip classes, i dont care about anything or anyone. people see that, and they think the know who i am. hell, even i have convinced myself that its easier to just be this…persona. its just easier to let people think im this heartless guy than to show them that…im more than that.”
his words tugged at your heartstrings. you knew the troubles, but you never understood it, not until this moment. the playful, cocky ni-ki you knew, that chased you, was suddenly nowhere to be found. instead, you saw someone who was burdened by an image that never felt like it fit.
“youre not heartless.” you said, your voice steady but filled with sincerity. without thinking, you reached out and gently placed your hand on his, the warmth of your touch grounding him in the quiet stillness of the night. “you never were.”
ni-ki looked down at your hand, gaze softening. “you dont get it. you dont know what its like to always be the guy everyone expects to mess up. i even made you second-guess this whole situation didnt i?” he turned to face you, eyes locked on yours.
you tried to search for the usual playful spark in his eyes, but it was gone. there was only vulnerability. he was no longer the confident, untouchable ni-ki, but just a boy who had learned to hide behind walls. his gaze searched yours, and for a moment, you felt the wright of his insecurities pressing down on you.
you couldnt help but feel guilty. you couldnt help but blame the world for putting so much on his shoulders. for making him self-doubt himself, for making you doubt him.
“you dont have to be that guy for anyone.” you said, your voice soft but firm. “youre more than what people think. i see you. the real you.”
ni-ki looked at you, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but didnt know how. his usual confidence seemed like a distant memory now, replaced by a quiet, raw sincerity that made your heart ache for him.
but to ni-ki, that was all he needed to hear from you, that was all he wanted from you.
acceptance.
ni-ki remained still for a moment, his eyes fixed on yours, as if searching for a hint of insecurity in your words. when he found none, a flicker of something softer passed through his expression. the tightness in his shoulders eased, but he still didnt smile - not in the way he usually did.
instead, he simple nodded, his voice barely across a whisper. “i guess…i have been waiting for someone to see me like that.”
the words were simple, but they carried a weight that you werent sure you were reading for. it was as if, for the first time, ni-ki was letting down the walls he had carefully built around himself, trusting you to catch him if he fell.
you didnt hesitate, you reached out, gently brushing your fingers against his cheek. “i see you, riki. just you. no one else.”
his eyes softened, the guarded look that had been there moments ago replaced with something much more vulnerable. the usual cocky grin was nowhere to be found, but there was something more meaningful in its place - a raw, unspoken gratitude.
slowly, ni-ki leaned forward, his breath warm against your face as he closed the distance between you. it wasnt fast, and it wasnt rushed. it was a quiet, tender movement, as though he was giving you the choice, the space to decide.
and for once, you didnt need time to think. you leaned into him, the kiss gentle at first, as if both of you were testing the waters - treading carefully. but as the kiss deepened, the walls between you both seemed to crumble further, and in that moment, you realised that despite everything - the doubts, the insecurities, the fear - you werent as different as you thought. you were both just two people trying to figure things out, finding solace in each other’s presence.
the world around you faded. the waves, the sand, the night - it all disappeared as ni-ki’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, as if he, too, had been waiting for something to finally feel real.
when the kiss ended, you both lingered in the stillness for a moment, breathing in the night air. ni-ki pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, a playful spark finally flickering back to life in his eyes.
“so…are we, like…boyfriend and girlfriend now?” he asked, his voice light but with a hopeful smile.
you blinked, surprised by the directness, but then you smiled, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “youre asking me?”
ni-ki raised an eyebrow, teasing. “well, im pretty sure i have earned it.”
you rolled your eyes but couldnt stop yourself from smiling, the warmth between you undeniable. “i guess so.”
he grinned and pulled you closer, the playful glint in his eyes still there, but there was something more sincere behind it now, “good, because im not going anywhere.”
you leaned into him again, realising that whatever this was between you, it was real. no labels, no expectations - just the two of you, finally figuring things out together.
© ki2rins 2025, please do not copy or plagiarise my work.
#enhypen#enhypen x y/n#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#nishimura riki#niki nishimura#ni ki#ni ki enhypen#ni ki x reader#enhypen riki#riki x reader#rin's works
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how to cancel your faustian bargain | wjh
FAUSTIAN BARGAIN 🔥 a pact whereby a person trades something of supreme moral or spiritual importance, such as personal values or the soul, for some worldly or material benefit, such as knowledge, power, or riches. faustian bargains are by their nature tragic or self-defeating for the person who makes them, because what is surrendered is ultimately far more valuable than what is obtained.
pairing: attorney!junhui x devil!reader genre: (very lite) enemies to lovers, lawyer au; crack, fluff, smut summary: as the devil, you’re more than happy to grant favors in exchange for someone’s soul, and you’re known for having the most iron-clad contracts around. which is why wen junhui—the scene’s newest contract attorney hell-bent on returning all those souls you’ve acquired—is really starting to piss you off. rating: explicit. minors do not interact with this or any of my work. warnings: member pov, reader is thee devil so needless to say there is a bunch of religious themes and topics here (as a person whose roman-catholic grandfather temporarily disowned her for stopping ccd classes i am qualified to write this dw), jihan as literal devil's advocates, hoshi as a shit-stirring angel who wears questionable shirts, i am the opposite of jovan and do not know the law (especially hell law), i also blocked out most catholicism so don't take any of this for canon, god is genderless and the devil is a sympathetic character sue me, alcohol use, low self-esteem/self-doubt, open but optimistic ending. smut warnings: kissing, mentions of a handjob (actually a major plot point), an actual handjob, oral sex (both receiving), some scratching/marking and biting, jun kinda likes/yearns for pain but it's not a whole thing, light nipple play, fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, everyone orgasms, jun is down bad. in general it's probably much softer than sex with the devil would usually be? wordcount: 22k credits: jess (@starlightkyeom) and bee (@imnotshua) for reading this along the way, beta'ing, and suggesting stupid hoshi shirts. mj (@kkaetnipjeon) and jade (@eoieopda) for helping me with law stuff. everyone in the c&e server who helped me along the way — i yapped so much about this fic that i cannot remember everyone. i am sorry but i love you. note: this somehow wound up being my longest oneshot to date. i don't know how and i still feel like there are parts not fleshed out enough, but big shoutout to my adderall for getting us here. wen junhui, you are a strange little man; i had a blast writing you. this was written for the don't hate, litigate! collab, hosted by @haologram. thank you so much for letting me participate!
The thing is, Wen Junhui is not really supposed to be here.
Not, like, literally here—sitting across from you, the literal devil, at your desk, ass burning a little because it’s really hot here and he is, admittedly, not used to the heat—but metaphorically. Big picture-ly. This is not how I envisioned my life turning out…ly.
The thing is, Wen Junhui barely made it through law school. Barely passed his licensing exam. Watched his classmates score prestigious internships and receive exclusive offers and network and schmooze and, he thought at the time, all but sell their soul to graduate with jaw-dropping salaries awaiting them and no debt.
And it fucking sucked watching that, because he was about to become a lawyer, sure, but he’d gotten scarlet fever as a kid, swore he was going to die, swore he saw not only the light but Jesus himself (his mother called this a delusion, still insists to this day the prodigal son did not travel all the way to Shenzhen to visit him), and decided if he survived he was going to dedicate his life to the church and become a priest.
(He only decided on law school after he got a little carried away with his high school girlfriend, received an honestly mid handjob that had him crying for three straight days and contemplating confession before he decided to take it to his grave, and he’d announced the next night at dinner, weighed down by an impressive amount of guilt and religious trauma, that he was just going to go to university and major in business or finance instead.)
Anyway. Turns out that whole selling their soul thing wasn’t a joke, and where others would’ve seen a loophole, Wen Junhui had seen an opportunity.
Because he didn’t have the grades. Didn’t have the family name or even the drive, because in another life he’s at least a deacon, so he had to do something. Had to think outside the box, get a little creative, carve out a niche for himself that none of his classmates would also be trying to occupy because he had student loans.
“How did you even get in here?” you ask, doing one of those really cool pen flips Jun has never figured out how to do. “A human hasn’t just strolled into my office in at least a millennia.”
Jun swallows, tries not to let show how nervous he is. “I, uh—I’m not sure? I sort of just… walked in, I guess.”
You blink. Study him for a while, eyes narrowed, before you make a small ah! sound and snap your fingers. What the heck? Jun can’t do that, either. “I know who you are now.”
“You do?”
“Mmhm, sure do. You were pretty famous around here for about thirteen seconds when you got that handjob and changed the trajectory of your own life forever. Some of the lower demons had bet money on you eventually becoming the Pope, so you can imagine their heartbreak… and the amount of coin they lost.” You click your tongue, return your attention to the scroll in front of you. “I kept telling them not to bet on that kind of stuff. Teenagers are wildly unpredictable, especially hormonal teenage boys. One of my finest creations, if I do say so myself.”
Not that he had any expectation of privacy here, but to say he’s mortified would be an understatement.
“Oh. That’s… really embarrassing.”
You nod, distracted as you press a large red button on your desk. “Yeah, I imagine for you it would be.”
Two men immediately materialize on each side of you. One is all cheekbones and sharp, calculating edges. Looks like the personification of mischief or perhaps temptation. After that handjob and the subsequent mourning period, Jun had come to really, really appreciate women, but he’s secure enough in his sexuality to acknowledge that the man in front of him—with his long, dark hair and lithe figure; his nonchalant, blasé attitude—is very attractive.
And the other one is no slouch, either. Has what Jun presumes is meant to be a friendlier disposition, a foil of the other man, good-cop-bad-cop, and they must be quite successful, he figures. Can’t imagine a world in which there’s anything that’d be denied to either of them.
Still, they’re well-acquainted with you, because they barely blink as you say, “Please say hello to our intruder,” with a frightening amount of bite.
The dark-haired one offers up a sleazy grin as he leans back against the wall. “Hello, intruder. Do you have a name?”
It’s a predictable question, and yet Jun still startles. Goes slack-jawed as he fixes his posture, sits straighter in his seat. Has the first syllable of his name sitting on the tip of his tongue when the other man sighs and gestures for Jun to stay quiet. “Don’t tell him your name. Better yet, don’t tell him anything, just pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“That’s rich coming from a person who chose to call themselves Joshua.”
Joshua pouts. “I thought there was something to be said for the irony.” A snort tumbles out of him, and Jun realizes that he is not the foil of the other man: he is, in fact, just as impish and rogue. “God is deliverance.” The dark-haired one does not react. “Aw, c’mon, it’s funny!”
“If you have to convince someone it’s funny, it probably is not so.”
Joshua rolls his eyes. “Alright, Jeonghan. As if you didn’t do the same thing.”
“At least when I strive to be ironic, it actually is humorous—”
With an exasperated sigh, you return your attention to Jun, who has suddenly found a fascinating piece of lint on his trousers. Pointedly does not make eye contact with you, because you had been intimidating and hellacious on your own—and, he’s a little flustered to admit, very attractive—but he’s extremely out of his element sitting across from the literal devil and two demons.
“So, Wen Junhui,” you say, tossing a pair of reading glasses onto your desk, “why are you here?”
(“Wen Junhui?” Joshua whispers to Jeonghan. “As in the Wen Junhui that got the handjob?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Jeonghan whispers back.)
And now it all feels a bit silly, because Jun had walked straight into Hell thinking he’d be able to… what, exactly? Strike up a friendly conversation? Start making demands? Cut a deal that didn’t include handing over his mortal soul?
Maybe the whole becoming a priest thing hadn’t worked out but he’d still learned a thing or two, and he remembers all the words used to describe you, your original purpose. Meant to reflect God’s glory, anointed, given the highest seat at the table. They’d blamed your downfall on pride, on vanity and violence, and Wen Junhui from Shenzhen, China, who once had scarlet fever and got a bad handjob, was a fool to come here and think he could go toe-to-toe with you.
Overcome with nerves, all he can do is laugh as he toys with the hair at the nape of his neck. Considers saying something like you’re gonna think this is so silly before he decides against it. You’ve been accused of having a sense of humor, but Jun can’t imagine this harebrained scheme of his would make the cut.
Still—he wouldn’t be where he is if the bad ideas sitting on his shoulder had kept quiet, and they’re still whispering to him now, reminding him how he wound up here to begin with: less fortunate than his classmates, less connected, looked over for all those internships and opportunities because he wasn’t born with the proper credentials. Those god-forsaken student loans. Desperation forced him to do this, and it’d be a real shame if he got this far only to give up at the last second, wouldn’t it?
So, he does what he did best all those years of law school: he fakes it.
“Let’s say I’m interested in… a partnership, of sorts.”
Jeonghan and Joshua share a look.
“Ah,” you reply, hands folded in front of you. “And what kind of partnership would that be?”
Let no man (or demon) ever accuse Wen Junhui of doing things half-assed, because he’s doing a concerning amount of oversharing and trauma-dumping before he can talk himself out of it. Spills all the highs and lows of his twenty-odd years, including his infamous handjob, much to Joshua and Jeonghan’s delight. They listen with rapt attention, elbowing one another as they gleefully press him for more details, and to their credit they only interrupt him once with lewd gestures before they’re slapping at and falling over one another with laughter.
He gets to his time in law school. Talks about feeling lapped by his classmates and all the advantages they’d been given, the benefits that weren’t on offer for someone like him: the oldest son of a piano teacher and a seamstress. Someone who showed up to class with a worn leather bag (repaired weekly by his mother) and secondhand books yellowing at the edges. Someone who spent his Friday nights and weekends holed up in his dorm room, not invited to parties and mixers.
“I had to do my first internship in personal injury,” he says, arms gesticulating wildly. “No one wanted those internships, and do you know why?” He pauses for dramatic effect. Jeonghan mimics a sound that sounds like game show countdown music. “Those pictures were gross.”
“Tragic,” you deadpan.
“It was,” Jun insists. He’s starting to feel fidgety. Has no idea how his plight is being received. “It wasn’t paid, either, and I had to take out student loans.”
Joshua beams. “Her second best invention.”
“What?” Jeonghan retorts, brows pinching in the middle. “No way, second-best is definitely cocaine—”
From you comes an exaggerated, long-suffering sigh, and Jeonghan and Joshua immediately cease their bickering. You turn your attention to Jun, and if he’d been able to trick himself into thinking a glimmer of patience or good humor or—god forbid—genuine affection had been visible before, no such delusions are available now. Your face is stern, the pupils of your eyes reflecting flames behind him that don’t exist, and the corners of your mouth are tugged severely downward.
He swallows hard.
“Wen Junhui, get to the point. Your human skin is starting to stink up my office.”
Subtly, he tries to sneak a sniff of his armpit. It’s not mountain fresh, but he’s certainly smelled worse, and he thinks he deserves a little leeway as his body acclimates to such extreme temperatures. He then crosses one leg over the other, ankle on thigh, and leans forward on his elbows. Tries to project some—any—amount of authority and confidence as he says, “I need a niche. Something just for me; something none of my classmates are going after.”
“Because you’re unable to compete with them,” you tack on. Unnecessarily and rudely, in Jun’s opinion, but he nods anyway. Behind you, Jeonghan and Joshua are once again elbowing one another, giddy at Jun’s impending failure while desperately trying to keep their expressions neutral. “Let me guess: you want the same deal?” You begin rifling through a drawer in your desk. “I think I still have all those contracts around here somewhere, so I’m sure I can get you something similar, but if we’re being honest you’re worth a good bit more.”
Jun blinks. “I’m sorry?”
“What part are you having trouble with?” you ask, still sorting through files. Only the top of your head is visible over the ledge of your African blackwood desk.
No horns, Jun notes. He was so sure you were going to have horns.
“Er, both, to be honest. What do you mean I’m ‘worth more’?”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes before slamming his palms onto your desk, causing Jun to startle. Just for fun. “Hey, moron, were you not listening when she told you earlier that you were supposed to be the goddamn Pope?”
“You weren’t even here when she said that,” Jun mumbles, every bit the moron Jeonghan accused him of being, because it’s far easier than acknowledging… well, the entirety of that statement.
Does the Pope get a salary? If he does, surely it’s more than Jun’s making now—
“He doesn’t,” Joshua says. Then clarifies, “Get a salary. Just some coins. A woefully underpaid position, if you ask me, considering how many babies he has to kiss.” He shudders. “Disgusting! When you could just eat them instead!”
Aside from the whole eating babies thing, Jun can’t really disagree. Only a handful of coins for being in charge of all of Catholicism and having to know Latin? And having to live in Italy?
“Also,” Joshua continues, “it’s kind of our job to know everything that goes on down here, so we did, in fact, know she told you that you were supposed to be the Pope.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “And yet he became a lawyer. Imagine if Fibonacci had done the same—the eighth circle would be so boring.”
“Boniface,” Jun corrects him, immediately shutting trap at the look the three of you send his way. “He’s really in the eighth circle? I thought Dante just said that because he was upset about the exile.”
Upset is underselling it, Joshua mumbles. Looks like he wants to say more but has enough sense not to. Beside him, Jeonghan is once again rolling his eyes, growing more perturbed and borderline-homicidal in Jun’s proximity by the second.
Does he really smell that bad? Should he wear cologne next time? Is there a particular note those in the Underworld find appealing? Because Jun doesn’t mind tracking it down. He’s here on your turf asking for a favor, after all, so it’d be basic manners to smell nice and not stink up the place.
He’s about to ask when a booming sound of acknowledgement comes from you. A sly grin sits lopsided on your face as you toss a manila folder onto your desk, so thick a yellowing rubber band struggles to fit around it once. “This is you, Wen Junhui,” you say, pushing it closer to Jun.
All he can do is stare. Feels like his heart is going to pound right out of his chest, and he can’t pinpoint why, doesn’t know what’s got him so uneasy. He doesn’t have to look at it to know his entire life is in that file—perhaps even the before and the after. All the possibilities, all the could-have-beens. The consequences of him going right at the fork in the road instead of taking the left. Endless, and he finally realizes the boulder sitting on his chest is dread: existential variety.
“It’s, uh.” He licks at his lips. “It’s really big,” he finally says, feeling stupid and embarrassed at the way his voice trembles.
“Aish, this fucking kid,” Jeonghan grouses at the same time Joshua snickers and wonders aloud, “Do you think that’s what that girl said when he got the handjob?”
You press the red button again and Jeonghan and Joshua disappear without a word.
“Even in the lowest pits of Hell you must still suffer the displeasure of men,” you say, as if you’re imparting ancient wisdom upon Jun. “I must admit I’ve grown quite familiar with your file.”
“Manila,” Jun replies, also as if he’s being extremely wise. “Didn’t expect to see that around here.”
“Yes, well, the cheap ones are great for papercuts.” You pause and your demeanor grows serious, belying the importance of what you’re about to say. “You’re one of a select few, Wen Junhui. Not many files that come across my desk are this size.”
Pride swells in his chest, booting that existential boulder to the curb. “Oh,” he says, trying desperately to tamper down his excitement. “Yay!”
He does a little wiggle. Mortifying.
“Something you said earlier stuck out to me—something about certain things not being on offer for someone like you.” Your eyes meet Jun’s, and it suddenly feels like he’s been catapulted off the edge of the world. “I don’t think you realize just how much is on offer for someone like you.”
Jun swallows hard. Tries to, anyway—finds that his mouth has gone bone dry. His limbs, too, refuse to work, feel both heavy and weightless, and he’s anxious again, hands and feet saturated with sweat, no wonder he smells, and he knows, he knows, he knows who and what you are, knows this is a trick. Knows he’s offered himself up on a silver platter.
Good god, he came here willingly. No wonder Jeonghan kept calling him names.
“So,” you begin, moving your glasses to the top of your head, “what is it you want? You’re in an elite tier; I could give you almost anything you ask for.”
“Um—”
“You mentioned loans; is it money you want? You’re not quite qualified for billionaire level yet, but I think you’d find both the terms and the offered amount to be quite… agreeable.”
Oh, you’re good. Just as he had with the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, Jun always thought the story of Adam and Eve was simple: don’t do the thing you’re explicitly told not to do. But now, seated across from Temptation itself, he understands it’s not that simple, that those two never stood a chance. Because the longer he’s silent, the more relaxed he starts to feel. That headache he’s been fighting off for three days finally starts to recede. He feels confident and a bit euphoric, but he supposes everyone would feel that way if they were being offered any and everything they could ever want.
“Actually…”
Wen Junhui isn’t very religious anymore, but he used to be. Used to believe in all the teachings; used to sit at the piano in the living room and hum along as his father played processionals; used to beg his mother to read from the Studium Biblicum at bedtime so he could fall asleep and dream of utopia.
Wen Junhui isn’t religious anymore, but he remembers the basics.
Enough to steel his voice and say, “Actually, I didn’t come here to talk about money.”
Jun doesn’t know what time it is.
It’s late enough that the city has gone mostly quiet. The buses have stopped running, the elevator just outside his door hasn’t dinged in a while, and the light that’s refracted onto his bedroom ceiling is a familiar shade of blue-silver. Not long after two a.m. if he had to guess.
He doesn’t know how he got back to his apartment, either, which would’ve been the more pressing issue at any other time.
But he’s had a long day. Took a little trip to Hell, got laughed at, got offered a lot of money, and got laughed at again. Now he’s got the anxiety shakes. Keeps seeing figures in every shadow. Can’t sleep even though every part of his body is bogged down by exhaustion. All he can do is stare at the swirls in the ceiling plaster and be glad he doesn’t have to work for another two days.
At first, he thinks the knocking is on someone else’s door. Then, once it doesn’t cease, he chalks it up to hallucination. It’s only once it goes from hey, I’m here! to OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR RIGHT GODDAMN NOW does he stumble out of bed and through the living room.
Through the peephole, all that stares back at him are the dingy fluorescent lights of the hallway.
“You know, judging by the outside, I thought this place was gonna be a real shithole, but it’s not that bad.” Jun shrieks, collapses to the floor with his hand clawing at his chest. “Oops, sorry, dude. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
There is a man in his apartment.
There is a man in his apartment. At two o’clock in the morning.
“Wh-who are you?” he stammers out, eyes squeezed shut as if it’ll protect him. “I do-don’t have any mo-money.”
The man scoffs. If Jun was looking, he assumes it was accompanied by an eye-roll. “Not to be rude, but I was able to ascertain that, yeah.”
Jun peeks one eye open. Before him stands a man of average height, looks to be early to mid 20s. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and a black hoodie that says FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR in large white lettering. His hat, which is so neon pink it seems to glow, simply says SWAG.
He opens his other eye and quirks an eyebrow. “Are you a demon?”
“Ew, no.”
“What are you, then?”
The man pouts. “You can’t tell by my extremely good looks and”—he pauses, clears his throat like he’s trying to remember something—“awesome sauce fashion?”
“I—no, sorry. Also, your what?”
“I’m an angel,” the angel says quickly before he starts digging through his pockets. “Do people not say awesome sauce anymore?” Jun shakes his head. The angel pulls a pen out of nowhere and strikes out something in a notebook. “What year is it?”
“Er, 2024. Almost 2025.”
“What year did people stop saying awesome sauce?”
“I don’t know,” Jun says. “Do you have a name?”
The angel sighs, the pen and notebook both blink out of existence. “Hoshi,” the angel replies. “It means star, which I am. By the way.”
“Okay. May I ask why you’re in my apartment?”
“You ask a lot of questions. You got anything to drink?”
“I don’t remember any angels named Hoshi in the Bible.”
“It’s my Earth name.” Hoshi flutters his eyelashes. “Suits me, right?”
Jun’s eyes narrow. “You also aren’t biblically-accurate.”
Hoshi scoffs, hands immediately finding the waistband of his sweatpants. “I am where it counts.” He starts to pull them down, much to Jun’s horror, and all he can think is, oh my god I’m about to see an angel’s penis, what’s the protocol for this, do I have to look at it, would it be rude not to, this is the weirdest day of my life, I must be in a medically-induced coma—
“I’m getting the impression you don’t really want to see my dick.”
Jun covers his eyes again. “I don’t!”
“Bummer. I’m gonna summon a Baja Blast, do you want one?”
“I—no, no thank you. I think I just—I really need to sleep? But I’m not tired? It’s been a long day and I’m still not one-hundred percent sure I’m not hallucinating all of this.”
Hoshi snaps his fingers and a garishly blue bottle of soda appears in his hand. He beams. “Trade offer: I help you sleep and you take me out for breakfast when you wake up. We have a lot to talk about.”
“You’re just gonna… hang out here? In my apartment?”
“Yes,” Hoshi confirms. “I’m going to look through all your stuff.”
Jun wants to say no. He should say no. Has half a mind to consider Hoshi is lying about being an angel and is instead another demon sent by you from Hell to keep tabs on him, but his aura is different—less… oppressive—so he gives in and nods.
He’s asleep within seconds.
It’s only a few hours later when he stirs awake. Sunlight streams in through the curtains, and the sounds of the city are drowned out by birdsong. Jun feels more rested and weightless than he has in years, and it allows him to wake slowly, recount the events of the past 24 hours and take stock of his body, how he’s feeling. Do some breathing exercises. Briefly contemplate if he has now twice altered the trajectory of his life for the worst.
“Get up!” someone yells from his living room. Right, the angel guy. “I want waffles and the diner stops serving breakfast in thirty minutes!”
Jun stares blankly at the ceiling. There’s no diner anywhere near him that serves American breakfast, but he assumes that isn’t going to stop Hoshi, who has no concept or time or space and no constraints on either.
Thirty minutes later, they’re sitting across from one another in a retro American-style diner.
“Where are we?” Jun asks, peering outside the large window to his right. All the cars are American makes; the walls look like they're made out of silver; all the signs are in English. He doesn’t have to ask why he can understand them. “Besides America. I’m gathering as much.”
Hoshi pours an entire sugar packet in his mouth and grins. “New Jersey. They have more diners than any other state in America, and some are even open 24 hours! It’s my favorite place on Earth.”
“Okay,” Jun acquiesces. What else is he going to do? He’s never been to America before, let alone New Jersey. “What do I order? I don’t know what any of this stuff is.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll order for you.”
Famous last words.
Whatever Hoshi had ordered for him has more sugar in one bite than Jun usually eats in an entire week, but it’s so good he can’t help himself. Half of his meal is devoured before they can get to the heart of the meeting even though Hoshi yaps the whole time—talks animatedly about things Jun doesn’t understand but thinks sound important, like his dog and his favorite music. Hoshi also talks about his love for dancing, and when Jun cocks his head to the side and asks, like Saint Vitus?, all he gets in return is a small smile.
“Okay,” Hoshi says, pushing his plate towards the middle of the table, “now that I’m ready to throw up, it’s time to talk business.” Jun swallows, no longer hungry. “I saw your entire pitch. It was embarrassing.”
Jun groans and face-plants onto the table. “Yeah.” Syrup sticks to his forehead.
“However, it was a convincing story. That’s why They sent me here.”
“They?”
Hoshi waves him off. “Whatever you know Them as: God, the Lord, The Big Boss. They also heard everything.”
Jun slowly picks his head up and studies the angel across from him. Hoshi is weird, no doubt about that, but he’s also endearingly earnest. “And They… what? Want to help me?”
“Precisely,” Hoshi confirms. “And before you ask why, I think that part is quite obvious, but it’s two-fold: yes, it’s partly out of spite, but also—some of those souls were supposed to be ours.”
Jun blinks. Feels like his brain is filled with primordial goo and is about to split at the seams. “Explain this to me like I’m an idiot.”
“That’s what I’m doing,” Hoshi replies, tone measured and slightly confused. “We’re all-knowing up there, as I’m sure you know. We know who’s meant to be ours at the moment of their birth and we keep an eye on them throughout their lives. We’re not allowed to intervene, though, which the Devil knows. Free will and all that.” Hoshi rolls his eyes. “With free will comes temptation, and temptation is a powerful thing. Most people are not immune to it, which is why They took notice of you.”
“Wasn’t I—”
“Supposed to be the Pope? Yeah. They weren’t, like, super thrilled about the outcome of that, but contrary to popular belief, it’s not against Their Word to get a handjob.”
“But I spilled seed.”
The look on Hoshi’s face almost looks like a grimace. “And you’ve spilled a lot more since then. Look, all I’m saying is if the worst thing you do in your life is have sex, you’re not disqualified. We look at the entire itemized receipt, not a single purchase, if you catch my drift.”
“Yeah,” Jun replies, a little dazed. He still could’ve been the Pope. “I became a lawyer for nothing?”
“Not nothing,” Hoshi insists, shaking his head. “You’ve actually put yourself in a very unique position, which is what I’m trying to get to. Some of those souls were meant to be ours, but they fell into temptation and made deals with those fuc—” He coughs. “Those… beings… down there.”
Hoshi reaches across the table and places a warm hand over Jun’s. “They want you to help return their souls to where they belong.”
“And how am I supposed to do that? You saw it: she laughed at me, not to mention she now knows what I’m up to. And how am I meant to advertise? If these souls are already in Hell, it’s not like I can put up a billboard!”
Hoshi’s eyes narrow. “She?” he asks. “That’s how the Devil appeared to you?”
“I—yeah. Is that not how she appears to everyone?”
“What did she look like?”
Jun trudges through the slime in his brain. Tries to remember anything besides—“Pretty,” he answers. “I don’t really—that’s all I can remember. I just remember she was really, really pretty.”
“Like the kind of woman you’d be attracted to on Earth, right?” Jun nods. “You need to be careful. She’ll appear to you again in similar forms, especially now that I’ve been here and told you Their intention.”
“So you’re telling me I have to be suspicious of any beautiful woman that finds me attractive?” Hoshi nods, soliciting a tortured groan from Jun. “This just keeps getting worse and worse.”
“You won’t be able to avoid her, nor are you expected to. It’s to your advantage she entertained you at all, and she certainly wasn’t lying when she said you are of a higher status to her and everyone in Hell. If we want you, it’s only natural they would as well.”
Jun mulls all of this over. Stares into his mostly-empty mug of coffee and tries to make sense of it. “I can’t even remember how I got there. I just had the idea, and then it was like I woke up in Hell. I didn’t mean to—what if I don’t even want to do this anymore? Can’t I just go back to my regular, boring life? This is—this is too much.”
“Unfortunately it’s too late for that. You have been chosen, Wen Junhui, and not just for this.”
Jun scoffs. “You’re making me sound like Harry Potter.”
“Thankfully that lady does not belong to us. Now, would you like to go back to your apartment before we get into specifics? It may take a while.”
“...Can we take another order of these things to go?”
Hoshi grins and flags down the waitress to order another massive stack of sugar-dusted waffles. “I think I’m going to enjoy my time on earth with you, Wen Junhui.”
The specifics are thus:
Hoshi is in charge of what earth-bound lawyers would call advertising. Jun isn’t privy to the specifics; he doesn’t know how Hoshi is even capable of it, if he’s just going to waltz into Hell and hand out business cards or what, but it’s more than he’s able to do so he doesn’t ask. (Well, that’s not entirely true. He did ask, and all Hoshi said in return was, “You know Metatron?” and left it at that.)
Hoshi is also in charge of The List: the souls Heaven wants freed from their contracts and returned upstairs. He allows Jun a brief glimpse of it, who is none too surprised to find a few law school colleagues but still overwhelmed at its length. It’s long—so long it had taken Hoshi quite some time to unfurl the scroll—and it isn’t static. Anyone destined for Heaven that makes a deal with the devil while Jun’s at work will simply be added to the bottom of the list. On and on it’ll go, ad nauseam, until Jun either dies or retires.
Which, speaking of retirement—
In a shocking turn of events, the job comes with benefits. Hoshi had been reluctant to call it a salary. For all intents and purposes Jun will be self-employed: he will be provided with a small office space in a nice area of downtown with no signage, although he’s also welcome to work remotely or wherever he feels most comfortable. Money will appear in his account, though he can opt for other forms of payment if he so wishes. (He’d been offered enough to live off of for a year for even accepting the job but chose to have his student loans paid off instead.)
They will keep him healthy. They will keep his sleep schedule regular and his refrigerator stocked with nutritious food. They will ensure people leave him alone and that no suspicions are cast upon him. They will ensure Jun has every tool at his disposal to be successful.
(It was a lot. Felt like making an inverse deal with the devil—he knew he was playing for the right side, but it was non-negotiable and non-refundable. Wen Junhui had been chosen, and in a moment of self-doubt and self-deprecation, he’d joked, “Can They make me smarter?”
Hoshi’s brows had furrowed. “The list of benefits makes no mention of increased intelligence.” Jun pouted; let out a whiny little oh. Hoshi grabbed another sheet of paper. “Your intelligence stats are nearly maxed, dude.”
“I barely passed law school!” he protested.
“I don’t know what to tell you. If we made you any smarter your brain would explode. Literally.”)
After that, there wasn’t much left to discuss. Hoshi had a lot of planning to do; needed to talk to someone in the marketing department but promised he’d be back as soon as possible. Left a tome in Jun’s possession and told him to study.
Theological Contract Law: A Very Comprehensive Introduction: Cases and Materials - 2326th Edition, it says, and Jun stares down at it full of foreboding. It’s bound in black leather, giltstamped in red. Nothing good comes bound in black leather with shiny red letters.
Still, he does what’s asked of him, lest his student loan pay-off gets reversed. He spends hours hunched over his small dining room table with a legal pad to his right, taking notes on any and everything that may prove important—what he can make sense of, at least, because it doesn’t resemble any legal or governmental structure he’s ever seen.
He groans. Tosses his pen onto the table and leans back in the stiff wooden chair, lets his head loll off the back as the wood digs into his neck. Says, “What the heck am I supposed to do with this?” to the empty space of his apartment, and before he’s even opened his eyes another book appears on the table.
Theological Law For Mortals: An Introduction (Sorry!!!! - Hoshi)
He swears.
The days bleed together. Hoshi pops in briefly to officially assign him his first case: one Kim Mingyu from Anyang-si, South Korea. Apparently sold his soul to be “tall and hot” and Heaven desperately needs him back. “This one’s important to the big boss,” Hoshi says, dropping off a stack of papers with a picture paperclipped to the front with the most attractive, symmetrical man Jun has ever seen. “He was meant to work in recruiting,” Hoshi explains.
Jun whistles low. “Understandable. Look at his face.”
“Exactly, so you get the need for a little urgency.” He tries to stamp it down, but Jun feels the panic start to rise. Has to dig his fingernails into the palm of his hand. “Hey, just do your best. Call me if you need anything.”
Hoshi turns to leave, ugly pair of brand new sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floor of the kitchen, but Jun’s able to stammer out, “What—what if I can’t do it?”
The angel turns, face marred by genuine confusion. “Why would you think you can’t?”
And then he’s gone.
Fueled by Hoshi’s unwavering—and frankly incomprehensible—confidence in him, Jun finds what he needs just after four o’clock Sunday morning. There, on page 4,837 of Theological Contract Law: A Very Comprehensive Introduction: Cases and Materials - 2326th Edition, in subsection 69 of section 567, it clearly states that souls handed over in exchange for vanity-related reasons must adhere to strict guidelines, limited to but not including:
General facial appearance
Eye and/or hair color
Penis, breast, and/or butt size
Height and/or weight
Others TBD
Pushed beyond the threshold of exhaustion, eyes going in and out of focus, he’s not sure the text following the sub-bullet point is real, but there it is: In regards to height, men must be made at least 6’2” or 188 centimeters for the contract to be considered legally binding.
“Hoshi!”
At once, the angel appears across from him. He’s decked out in another stupid t-shirt (Don’t Bully Me, I’ll Cum, this one says) and is drinking a 7-Eleven slushy through a bendy straw. His lips and tongue are stained blue when he smiles and asks, “Good news?”
Jun shakes his head. Tries to erase the scene in front of him. “Maybe,” he answers. “I need you to get an accurate height on Kim Mingyu. And I mean really accurate. Shave him bald if you have to.”
Hoshi’s smile fades as he grows serious. “You really think you’ve got something?”
“I think so.” Jun pushes the book across the table. “Take a look at that part I highlighted. I know his file says he’s 188 centimeters tall, but imagine if whoever measured him just rounded up? If he’s even a millimeter under that, the contract is void.”
Before he can comprehend what’s happening, Hoshi climbs halfway across the table, grabs Jun by the cheeks, and plants a wet, noisy kiss in the middle of Jun’s forehead. “Wen Junhui, you sneaky little minx, I may be a little in love with you.”
Jun’s face flushes hot and red.
“Just—just look into it, okay? I’ve been over the rest of this and I can’t see any other way out of it.” With a sarcastic salute, Hoshi disappears. Feels like he’s only gone a few minutes before he pops back up in the living room wearing a somber expression. “What?” Jun asks, panicked, feeling his stomach drop out of his ass. “What’s wrong?”
“Bad news,” Hoshi replies, heaving a sigh. Won’t look up from the floor. Does an impeccable job at selling it, before he looks up at Jun with a shit-eating grin, barely able to contain his excitement. “For the Devil! Ha ha ha!”
Whiplash. All Jun can feel is whiplash, and he stumbles out of the chair, can barely feel the ache in his bones. Trips over a rogue object on his way to the living room. “What? You mean—”
“You did it! Kim Mingyu officially measured in at a glorious six-foot-one-point-nine repeating.”
Jun grabs onto the back of the couch so he doesn’t pass out. Oxygen is not reaching his brain right now, nor is coherent thought. All those agonizing days in law school during which he resigned himself to being a failure. All those back-breaking nights he had to run to the bus stop to get home from his internship, only a handful of hours before he had to be awake again for class. All the meals he upchucked from anxiety before critical exams. All his classmates that’d ignored and belittled him. And now—
“I did it…” he says, voice colored with pure disbelief.
Hoshi starts doing some kind of concerning, robotic-looking dance. “Yeah, bitch!” A bolt of lightning strikes right in front of him and Hoshi startles. Rubs at the back of his neck and has the good sense to look sheepish. “I forgot I’m not supposed to swear.” He looks up at the ceiling. “Sorry, Boss!”
He turns his attention to Jun. “Go take a shower and get dressed. Wear something nice; we’re going out to celebrate.”
Whatever club Hoshi has brought him to is humid and sticky.
With what, Jun can’t be sure, but every time he presses his fingertips together it takes a concerning amount of time for them to peel apart.
Hoshi leads him to the bar. Hops onto a stool and kicks his feet as he waves over the bartender. She’s cute, Jun thinks; a bright, open smile splits her face as she pulls away from Hoshi, clearly endeared by whatever it was he had said. She moves around the bar with an easy confidence, does a little twirl to avoid her coworker, and Jun doesn’t realize he’s hypnotized until Hoshi digs an elbow into his ribs.
“Take it easy, killer. I ordered us some shots.”
Jun snaps out of his reverie. “Can you even drink?”
“Of course I can, I just can’t get drunk. Not here, anyway. Big Boss made the real good stuff exclusive to you-know-where after a few, uh… mishaps. Down here.” He coughs. “Let’s find somewhere to sit. I’ll come back for the drinks.”
There’s an empty booth tucked away in a corner. Jun takes the side that gives him an eyeline shot of the bar even though it feels a little creepy, and if Hoshi knows what he’s doing he doesn’t mention it. He’s back to yapping about one thing or another, gets distracted by all the commotion in the club—the group playing darts, the packed dance floor, a couple making out near the restrooms. Quite enthusiastically, Jun might add.
True to his word, Hoshi disappears for a second to retrieve the drinks. Jun watches as the bartender hands over a tray of rainbow-colored shots and also as Hoshi pats the pockets of his skin-tight pleather plants. Watches as he panics and frantically waves Jun over. Once he’s in his personal space, Hoshi leans in and whispers, “They say they need a card for the tab. I don’t know what that is so I’m assuming I don’t have one.”
Jun sighs. Explains, “It’s a credit card. How do you survive down here with no money?” Nevertheless, he digs out his wallet and hands his card over. “I can’t believe you invited me out and I’m getting stuck with the bill.”
Hoshi tuts. Hands Jun’s credit card to the bartender without an ounce of remorse. “Relax, I’ll have Matt reimburse you.”
“Who the heck is Matt—” Jun begins to say, but he’s interrupted by the most annoying angel God ever created placing the tray of drinks in Jun’s hands, then asking, “Can you take this back to the table? I’ll be right there.”
Hoshi is not going to be right there. Hoshi is going to hover around the bar because the cute bartender was making eyes at him, and Jun is going to return to their formerly-shared table to drink alone. There aren’t many things more depressing than going out with a friend to celebrate a personal achievement only to end up downing six shots on his own.
…Which are not to Jun’s taste at all.
He’s a habitual Tsingtao drinker. Never bothers to order anything else because he knows what he likes and it has never steered him wrong. Never had his head stuck in a toilet bowl, either, which is territory he’ll rapidly be approaching if he actually goes through with this.
“Is this seat taken?”
Jun knows it’s you without having to look up. Your aura is tangible—something thick and syrupy like molasses and just as dark; something suffocating, something that would drown him—and it follows you like a shadow. Slides into the booth before Jun can answer, just a nanosecond before your physical form does the same, and when you’re at eye level he has to swallow his gasp.
You look completely different.
Still beautiful, he thinks, because it’s hard to think of anything else. Jun knows who and what you are, of course; remembers the warning Hoshi had given him. Knows that this is just another one of your tricks, another layer of temptation, but it’s a beauty like quicksand. It’s a beauty like the misunderstood creatures at the heart of every fairy tale—those haunting kinds of myths meant to both make you wary and suck you in. It’s a beauty accentuated by darkness.
Worst of all, it’s a beauty that’s making his pants a little tight in the dick area.
“What does that imbecile have you drinking?” you ask, reaching for one of the remaining shot glasses. You grimace as you hold it up to the light. “You know, I once watched a man throw back twelve of these things before he stripped down to nothing but a diaper and attempted to rob a convenience store across the street.”
“Oh. What happened?”
You sigh. Place the glass back on the tray. “A comedy of errors, of course. He somehow managed to make it into the store unnoticed, but he had neither a weapon nor something to store the money in. He tried climbing across the counter to get to the cash register, but the clerk hit him in the head with a metal step stool and knocked him unconscious before calling the police.”
“I’m assuming he got arrested?”
“Oh, no.” You laugh, and Jun’s taken aback by how normal it sounds. “He came to before the police got there. I guess the sirens freaked him out because he ran out of the store and got hit by a bus.” Jun must be wearing a particular look, because you follow that up with, “He was always meant to be one of ours, so don’t worry, you won’t have to meet him.”
Right.
Jun had expected this. Not that he’d had a whole lot of time to expect it, considering Kim Mingyu had been freed from his contract for a whopping fifteen minutes before Hoshi was shoving Jun into the bathroom to shower, but it had been a passing thought on at least four separate occasions.
You’re not going to apologize, he tells himself. Wonders if you can hear his thoughts and desperately hopes you can’t, considering he’d thought about getting a semi from how pretty you are. It wasn’t even a semi, really, if he’s being honest. What’s half of a semi? One-fourth of a boner? That’s what he’d gotten, and if you can read his thoughts it’s very important that you know that.
“I’m not Joshua.”
Jun startles. Feels all the normalcy leak out of his body and form a gloopy puddle on the floor. “Um,” he replies stupidly. “Then how did you—”
“I can feel you thinking. Always feels like chickenpox when humans overthink around me.”
He wrings his sweaty hands together. Rubs them on his jeans when that doesn’t work. “Sorry,” he says instinctually. “It’s just—I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say.”
“Why?” you challenge. “Is there something you want to say?”
“I don’t think so. But I can’t imagine you’re very happy with me, and I get this sort of, um. When I know someone’s upset with me it feels like chickenpox, too. And even though I know, logically, that I did a good thing, I still feel like I’m going to throw up?”
Tense silence hangs between the two of you. Jun’s on the verge of word-vomiting another apology when you snap your fingers and turn the remaining shots into something resembling watery honey. You hold one out to him. “Drink this,” you instruct, and Jun makes a point not to let your fingers touch when he takes it.
“Is it poison?”
You heave another sigh. “Wen Junhui, there are some things you need to understand about me. First of all, this is an inherited job. Being The Anointed One comes with a lot of work and responsibility so we get burned out, okay? So there’s only ever been one devil as far as humans are concerned, but in a weird avatar-y kind of way that’s hard to explain and not worth my time to explain to you, specifically, considering you’re the enemy now. Second, I am capable of killing you in ways your human brain cannot even begin to conceive of. I do not need to poison you with ginger tea to take you out.”
Jun looks down at the glass. Raises it to his noise and takes a hesitant sniff.
Oh. Yeah, that’s ginger tea.
That you conjured him… because he said he felt nauseous?
“The last thing you need to understand is that the loophole you found was… unfortunate, to say the least, but Kim Mingyu’s contract was not one of mine. The next contract that idiotic angel is going to ask you to work on was also not my work. If you free him, too, it will be regrettable, but it will pale in comparison to what will happen to you if you even think about touching one of mine.”
You’re gone before the fear can even set in.
Jun blinks, staring at the empty seat across from him. No indication at all that you’d been there, no lingering shadow, just the taste of ginger on his tongue and one of those cartoon scribbles in a thought bubble hovering metaphorically above his head.
He doesn’t—
He can’t—
No, he decides, he is not going to have a mental break in this club. Not while “Friday” by Rebecca Black plays on a loop. Not while he can hear someone to his left vomiting all over the floor. Not while he watches Hoshi skip back to the table and he notices, for the first time all night, what he’s wearing.
“Did you change?”
Because he swears the angel wasn’t wearing that when they left the apartment. The pleather pants, yes, but not the baby pink cropped tank with a decal of a creepy child in the middle that says BOYS ARE STUPID, THROW ROCKS AT THEM.
“What? No,” Hoshi answers, sliding into the seat you’d occupied only moments earlier. “Why does it smell weird over here?”
Jun plays stupid. “One of the dartboard girls puked on the floor.” He’s not very good at it.
Hoshi shakes his head. “Not that.” An exaggerated sniff, not unlike a bloodhound. “It smells like… it definitely smells familiar. I know this smell. It’s like—you know how it feels when it’s about to snow? How the cold and the air burn your nose, but it doesn’t actually smell like anything? As if it used to have a smell, once, a long time ago, and all it is now is just an imprinted memory?”
Jun lies, “No. Nope, no idea.”
Hoshi visibly deflates. “Well, it’s kind of like that. Also a little bit like you used wet moss to put out a wildfire. It fills me with—” Hoshi pauses. Narrows his gaze as he studies Jun intently. Being stared at like this by a guy in that particular shirt is a bit disorienting, he must admit. “She was here, wasn’t she?”
He’ll know he’s lying, but Jun says no again because it’s a lot easier than explaining that being threatened within an inch of his mortal life made him cum in his pants a little.
After the club, Jun gets a few days of reprieve.
He doesn’t hear from Hoshi at all, nor does he materialize unexpectedly in his apartment. No mysterious books show up, either, which is a relief. He’d stored both Theological Contract Law: A Very Comprehensive Introduction: Cases and Materials - 2326th Edition and Theological Law For Mortals: An Introduction on a seldom-used bookshelf in his living room and now the shelf is starting to bow in the middle. One more tome of that size and the whole thing is going to come tumbling down and earn him a noise complaint.
Another one.
Because Hoshi has already racked up three in Jun’s name.
So he tries to go back to life as usual until he’s needed again. Does his grocery shopping in the middle of the week in the middle of the day when it’s not so busy and he can navigate the aisles without crippling anxiety. Goes to a check-up and has to lie about turning over a new leaf and taking his health seriously when his cholesterol levels are back within perfect range. He plays video games, picks a nice willow tree in the park to sit beneath and read (normal books this time), takes some of the Mingyu money to buy a decent watch and a few tailored suits.
For the first time in a while, he’s able to sleep through the night.
But he can’t shake the feeling that it’s all… strange. Ever since you’d shown up at the bar, he swears he sees you everywhere: in line a few registers over at the supermarket, in the waiting room of the hospital, coming out of a fitting room in the mall. It’s that aura again. Stalks him like prey. Has paranoia pricking at his skin, and it’s not healthy, the way it has him looking over his shoulder at every turn, scurrying away from every attractive woman with a frown and mumbled apologies.
Surely this cannot be the rest of his life.
Hoshi swings by on a Tuesday. Just like you said he would, he asks Jun to work on an assignment for one Lee Chan who tried to sell his friend to the devil but accidentally sold himself instead. “Wouldn’t have really mattered,” Hoshi explains. Today, his shirt says BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN. “It’s sort of against the rules to try and sell other people.”
Jun spits toothpaste into the sink and prays the towel stays snug around his waist. Hoshi had cornered him in the bathroom. “So why do you want him back, then?” Rifles through the medicine cabinet for his nice hair serum. “Seems pretty open and shut to me.”
“Why do They want him back,” Hoshi corrects, “and I don’t know why They want this one.”
Jun thinks about what you said: how Mingyu and Lee Chan hadn’t been your contracts, were basically freebies; the… avatar-ness; the not-subtle-at-all threats on his life. Says, “Can I ask you something?” as he rolls on antiperspirant.
Hoshi, who’s sitting in the tub making animals out of shaving cream, simply nods.
“She said something interesting to me—”
“Before or after being mean to you made you ejaculate in your pants like a teenager?”
Jun blinks. “Before,” he answers slowly. When Hoshi makes no move to interrupt him again, he continues, “She said the Kim Mingyu and Lee Chan contracts weren’t hers. That the role is… inherited? Something about an avatar? How does that work?”
The angel hums. Adds what appear to be bunny ears to an amorphous blob that does not look rabbit-shaped at all, and Jun tries to tamper down his excitement at the impending explanation. Everything he’s dealt with so far will have been worth it because he’s going to be in the know. The powers that be will reward him with their trust. He’ll finally get some answers to all those questions he fell asleep pondering as a child.
And then Hoshi waves him away dismissively and says, “You know I can’t tell you any of that,” and everything comes collapsing down like a house of cards.
Fair enough, Jun thinks—he’s only successfully completed one assignment. It’s still early days. “But you will eventually,” he says, and whoever’s listening in must think the optimism in his voice is so pathetic, “right?”
Hoshi is not cruel. They haven’t known each other long, but Jun knows that much. He wasn’t created from some Old Testament mold, when cruelty was the point of it all—intended to impress fear and strict adherence to Their Word. So when Hoshi laughs it isn’t meant the way Jun takes it. When Hoshi laughs it isn’t meant to make Jun feel disregarded and unimportant, small and irrelevant, but that’s where it strikes him all the same.
When Hoshi laughs and has no reassurances to offer, Jun is seventeen again, reckoning with his loss of faith. Now he’s a decade older and is constantly confronted by all those old names and characters, and when you’re trapped in the middle of their bidding, where can you go when you need to hide?
Jun has the Lee Chan assignment completed by Thursday night.
A significant amount of money appears in his bank account. He wakes up on Friday to an enthusiastic message from his landlord, thanking him for paying his rental contract through the end of his lease. His parents thank him for the grocery delivery. On the side, away from the proud ears of his father, his mother is especially thankful. She’s choking back tears as she thanks him profusely, says business has been slow, tells him he’s a good son and he’s made them proud, always, even if he traveled a different path than the one he originally planned to take.
None of it takes away the ache in his chest.
None of it makes him feel any less empty. It’s hard to feel fulfilled when you know you’re just a pawn, stuck in the middle of a holy war that existed long before him and will persist long after he’s gone. Wen Junhui will always be on the outskirts, because everyone needs him, but he’s not important enough to trust. He is someone and no one all at once. He is Purgatory.
He needs to feel human—needs to make human mistakes, destroy himself the way humans do. Needs to commit a few cardinal sins and scold himself, wonder what the fuck he’s doing as he rattles ice around his third glass of baijiu. Needs to wake up with a splitting headache and a fractured memory. Needs a hoarse voice beside him to ask what time it is as he stares at their naked back and wonders how to get out of it.
There’s a bar not far from his apartment. A dive, by every definition of the word: broken, flickering neon sign out front, cheap linoleum floors peeling at the corners, 70s paneling on the walls, the stench of cigarette smoke outlasting all the old regulars. It’s the kind of place ghosts gather; the kind of place Jun was always too scared to go, knew the questioning, distrustful stares that’d be there to greet him as soon as he stepped through the door.
Tonight, though, it’ll do just fine.
He sits on a stool at the bar and orders a beer to start. Intends to stay a while. Watches a trio of old men play dou dizhu at a table near the back, empty bottles at their feet, fat cigars stuck between their teeth, insults and accusations shouted around them. To his left, a middle-aged man tries bartering for another drink. Needs it, he says, because he lost his job and his wife in the same week. Fourth job this month, the bartender replies, no pity to be found. It’s only the twenty-second.
Across the bar sits a kid that reminds Jun a lot of his brother. Can’t be much older than eighteen. Might not be old enough to drink legally at all, but that’s none of his business. There’s dirt beneath his fingernails and a large chip taken out of a front tooth. Not a clean break, all jagged edges—the kind that probably hurts to run his tongue over.
Jun feels guilty for a moment, surrounded by all these people with real problems. He’s got money and a respectable career. Has a roof over his head that’s been paid for by someone else. He’s good-looking, has his health and his youth. Has enough to take care of his family.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” You sit beside him with a humored smile that shines through a truly pinched expression.
Jun snorts as he empties his drink. “Thessalonians. Gotta be honest, not one of my favorites.” Spares a glance at you: you’re different again, appearance-wise, but the scent you wear like a signature perfume is the same. Heady, like it was bottled at the center of the earth. “Is this your way of telling me that comparison is the thief of joy or whatever?”
Your turn to laugh. The bartender sets a drink in front of you that Jun hadn’t heard you order. “No,” you reply simply. “I’m not all that concerned with human joy. Just thought it was ironic. Come sit with me.”
“This is starting to sound familiar,” he snarks, but he follows anyway.
A rickety table by the window. Winter air seeps through, frosts the glass; has Jun wishing he’d worn a thicker coat. It was warmer by the bar. The two chairs you occupy are upholstered in peeling vinyl, one ripped with the stuffing peeking through. Jun takes that one, figuring you’ll laugh at his human chivalry, but you take the seat opposite him without a word. That old flickering sign outside reflects on your face.
He didn’t come here for a therapy session—he came to get drunk on questionable liquor surrounded by people who don’t know him. You do, of course, which throws a wrench in his plan. You seem to know everything about him, including that he’d be here brooding. “Why’d you follow me here?”
“Well, it certainly wasn’t for your jubilant demeanor and fantastic conversation.” You put your drink to the side. Fold your hands in front of you. “Congratulations on Lee Chan. The outfit upstairs must be very pleased with the work you’ve done thus far.”
There’s no bite. No sardonic tone.
Jun realizes then how differently you treat him. How honest you are. You don’t lie or stretch the truth; you don’t brush off his questions. Hoshi is truthful at an arm’s length. Makes his stomach feel sour.
“I’m just a pawn, aren’t I? It doesn’t really matter if they’re pleased so long as I get the work done.”
You hum an acknowledgment. “People forget what They used to be like. The atrocities They committed and had others commit in Their name—humans, just like you, who were so desperate to appease their God they would’ve done whatever was asked of them.” Jun’s drink refills. He empties it in one go. “They killed their sons, waged war on their neighbors, have done unspeakable evils in Their name. It’s not only you, Wen Junhui, that has been a pawn to Them.”
He doesn’t react. A glass shatters at the bar. “And you?” he questions. “What are you, then, if those are the things They demand?”
“I’m a foil, of course. Would you still believe in good if there was no evil? Would you believe in the promise of eternal life if there was no threat of eternal damnation? Would you still be moral if there was no corruption?” Rhetorical questions. “Although you’re no stranger to crises of faith, are you?”
He isn’t. The handjob had rattled him, sure, but it hadn’t been the catalyst. Not really. Jun had still gone to church that Sunday. Still kneeled and received Communion and allowed himself to be blessed and prayed over. Still bowed his head before each meal and mouthed along as his mother said grace.
No, his loss of faith had been gradual: a question he couldn’t find an answer to, suffering he could no longer brush off with blind faith, words he used to treat as gospel that began tasting acrid in his mouth as he also lost his conviction. Everything started feeling like bullshit, and once everything started feeling like bullshit, he had to wonder what he’d spent eighteen years of his life chasing. What he spent eighteen years of his life believing in.
Until he found he didn’t believe in all that much anymore.
He has to ask: “Was it your doing?”
You shake your head. “People forget who I am, too. They call me the original liar. They say I am the source of all evil. They attribute every sin and misdeed to me, say it must’ve been my will, and yet it says right there in their holy book, in Isaiah 45:7: I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.” You focus all your attention on Jun—he feels the weight of it like a millstone. “I was the anointed one until I was overcome by sin and became the tempter, right? That’s what they say; how they wrote my story. And yet, by Their own word, it was They who created evil. It was God who created darkness.” A hefty pause. “Some may look at me and say I, too, was a pawn.”
“Do you feel like you were?”
You don’t respond. Instead, Jun watches as his view of the bar crumbles once you snap your fingers: block by block replaced with the interior of his apartment. His dining table instead of the off-balance one in front of the window. The ambient noise of his building instead of the bar. A mug of coffee in place of the baijiu.
“What the he—”
It’s within the four dull walls of Jun’s apartment building that you answer: “Even if I was, why should I feel like a victim? Did I not get the better end of the deal?” Jun feels like he’s standing atop a trap door. Like any second it’ll swing open and down, down, down he’ll go. “I rule over my kingdom and make no demands of anyone. I am a consequence of free will and not an inhibitor of it. I dole out punishment only for those deserving of it.”
The coffee is strong. Bitter. Just for a second before it melts away into something sweet. “You are temptation, are you not? Do the demons not do your bidding? Sow chaos in your name? Are you not the originator of all these contracts I’ve been tasked with destroying? If They are to be believed, those people were not meant to be yours, and yet you wound up with them anyway.”
“I like you, Wen Junhui,” you say. “You have an insatiable curiosity that is both admirable and ill-advised.”
He feels his face flush. “Sorry. Got carried away, I think.”
“It’s of little consequence to me. I must admit I have smited men for asking questions, but they were of a more crude variety. More coffee?” Jun nods. “I am who I am. It is who I’ve always been—I was created to walk this path and so I know no different.”
“Predestination.”
“Precisely, just as those dreadful fucking Puritans believed. God needed a foil, a betrayer, and so They created me. I know no other role.”
“You were an angel,” Jun argues. “They say you were beautiful, powerful, and intelligent; they say you were full of light. You don’t remember any of that?”
Sorrow etches across your face. Only for a second—blink and you’ll miss it. It is not in the same realm of pain Jun is experiencing. Yours is an ancient grief. It is something palpable and overwhelming, something liable to consume and destroy everything within its reach if left uncontrolled. Jun wonders if it has been; if you’ve let it unfurl before reigning it back in. If those are the plagues they speak of. Catastrophic disasters and genocides and everything on earth he cannot conceive of.
And then your face shutters. That grief is now nowhere to be found, borrowed features rearranged neatly once again. “Of course I remember,” is all you say.
Companionable silence. Jun sips slowly at his coffee and enjoys it. Wonders, briefly, how he wound up here, with the CEO and overseer of Hell sitting at his dining room table, before he lets those thoughts get chased away by a more pressing fact: there is an extremely beautiful and kind of terrifying woman sitting at his dining room table, and she hasn’t murdered him—yet.
He’s not above noticing it. Isn’t going to pretend he hasn’t thought about the night in the club roughly every twenty minutes since it happened; isn’t going to pretend he didn’t get a little hard in the shower that same night and that he didn’t relieve himself. Isn’t going to pretend that this isn’t doing something for him—the different disguises, each one just as enticing as the last, all of them conjured from deep within his psyche, checking off all his boxes.
Jun also isn’t going to pretend he has very much game. He hadn’t left university a virgin (although it’d been close) and nowadays women aren’t really falling over themselves to date a newly-licensed lawyer with little money and thrifted suits that feel like they’re playing at adulthood. However, if nothing else, this… partnership he has going on has served him well in the confidence department. He has disposable income and no debt. His clothes fit. He upgraded his cheap Casio watch to something that doesn’t turn his skin green.
“You didn’t really answer my question earlier.” You roll your head to the side, cock an eyebrow. His bravado falters slightly at the line of your throat. “Are you stalking me?”
What he aims for: cheeky, a little saucy; the kind of question that’s delivered with a shit-eating grin and earns him a coy laugh in response as you tuck your hair behind your ear. Oh, knock it off, you’d say as you playfully swatted at him. Of course I’m not. He’d catch your hand and press his lips to your knuckles before trailing them up your arm. The first kiss to the side of your neck would be gentle, a little hesitant, and then the heat would take over.
How it lands: an accusation completely lacking in charm and sass. Jun’s eyes widen in panic as soon as the question leaves his mouth, has him wondering how he’s still alive if the glare you send him is any indication of how you’re feeling. He should’ve known better. Jun is not the sort of person who can pull off a comment like that. Doesn’t have the charisma or the confidence. Isn’t sleazy enough. Jun is the kind of guy who lurks your social media after a one night stand to figure out your favorite breakfast so he can have it waiting the morning after; the kind who takes note of where you work so he can have flowers delivered to your desk and not for any other nefarious purpose.
Which, now that he’s thinking about it—
Every accusation is a confession, or whatever it is they say.
“That’s not—”
“What you meant,” you finish for him. Thankful for the lifeline, he nods, not trusting himself to not dig a deeper hole. “You want to know why it is I’ve shown up twice now, during both of your nights out.” He nods again. “You wanted to be suave when you said it, maybe even a little seductive, but you forgot your claim to fame is crying for three days over a handjob and how excruciatingly awkward you are.”
He waits for you to continue. When you don’t, he nods again, wishing he’d spent more time as a teenager on the degenerate parts of the internet rather than at Bible study.
“Are you an idiot?”
Not that it’s undeserved, but the question leaves him stunned. Has his mouth gaping open and shut like a goldfish. This is a trap, right? There’s a correct answer here that he’s expected to give. “...No?” he tries, and when your eyes narrow he quickly changes course. “Yes,” he says definitively. “Yes, I am an idiot. Sorry for my… idiocy.”
It looks like it’s being dragged out of you by force, but the clouds part, birds start chirping in perfect harmony, Jun feels the warmth of the sun—you laugh. You laugh, and it’s reluctant but it’s real, and Jun’s smile is so wide his face feels heavy under the weight of it. It’s so wide you say, “Wow, even your mouth is heart-shaped,” and, if Wen Junhui knows nothing else, he knows he’s in real big trouble.
“You know what else is heart-shaped?” You gesture for him to continue, except he’d just been yapping. Didn’t have a plan. There’s no punchline. And he can’t set it up as a dick joke because that doesn’t make sense. My dick is heart-shaped? What does that even mean? Unless it’s in a cute way? My dick is heart-shaped… for you. It could work, he reasons. Worse things have worked for other men. “My di—”
“No.”
He pretends to pout. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“Because you were going to make a dick joke.”
“No I wasn’t.” You roll your eyes. “I was going to say my… digantic heart.”
A pause. Another beat of silence.
“I’m not going to laugh at you twice.”
A shit-eating grin on Jun’s face. “But you would, is what you’re saying? If you didn’t already meet your one-laugh quota?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
I want to kiss you, he wants to say. Feels the words biting at the back of his teeth, begging him to open his mouth so they can escape and be real. I want to kiss you but I don’t know if it’d be real. Because it can’t be, can it? All the ways you’ve been described throughout human history, not once has anyone said you’re capable of love. Which—that’s not what Jun is looking for here, right? That’d be ridiculous. He has a crush.
A crush on a beautiful woman who looks like all of his wet dreams combined. Who’s terrifying and smart and maybe misunderstood in all the same ways he is. Who is halfway responsible for his current employment. Who conjures ginger tea for him when he feels sick and hasn’t snapped her fingers to turn him into dust… yet. It’s natural, especially for a late bloomer such as himself.
But that doesn’t mean anything.
You look like all of his wet dreams combined but it’s still just a costume. The same way Jun was playing at adulthood in his ill-fitting suits, you’re playing at being human. Take it off and you’re still the devil. Still primordial. Still not bound by the constraints and constructs of time. Not bound by mortality, which is probably the second-most pressing issue behind the whole fallen angel, prime ruler of Hell, purveyor of iron-clad contracts that are really, really pissing off Heaven thing.
“Congratulations,” you say, ripping Jun out of his spiral, “your overthinking has bypassed chickenpox completely and went straight to shingles.”
“They have a vaccine for that now.” Wow, he is really not nailing this.
“I know. Pestilence was devastated. Moped around for ages. Imagine all your hard work gone, just like that, because of science? That’s why I created Jenny McCarthy.” You sigh. “Anyway, out with it.”
Jun chews at the inside of his cheek. “I’m trying to figure out how to ask in a non-offensive way.”
You blink. “I am literally the devil.”
“Who can kill me,” he says slowly, trying to buy time. So are you, it seems, because you’re content to stretch the silence. Wait until it settles in Jun’s bones as anxiety. One of those old tricks he learned during law school that’s now being turned on him. He coughs. “Anyway, I—” He deflates. “It’s stupid, I don’t know why I even thought—”
“Out with it,” you repeat.
“Right.” He sucks in a breath. “Does this mean anything to you? Not in, like, an affectionate, I’m in love with you kind of way, but in a… human… way? Is it offensive to phrase it like that?”
“I think you’ll find not much offends me—except for you and your fucking lawyer thing ruining my contracts.” There are those flames behind your eyes again. The temperature in the room increases tenfold. “So no, it’s not offensive to wonder how human I am or am not, but I don’t know if the answer will be to your satisfaction or understanding.”
“Try me.”
You huff a laugh. Mumble something about the hubris of man. “You’ve read Their book, so you know how and why the angels were created. Ministering spirits, I think it says. Spirits without bodies. I have never known what it means to be human because I never was. I appear as one to you out of necessity.”
“Because my brain would melt if I saw your true form?”
“What? No. Because it’s terrifying. Would you rather hand over your mortal soul to someone who looked like an eldritch horror or someone who looked like one of those women you’ve jerked off to in porn magazines?” Jun swallows audibly. “Exactly.”
“But what does it feel like when you’re like this? When you’re here?”
“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “It feels different, but I can’t say it feels human because I do not know what that feels like. You’ve interacted with me and have been to Hell—if I asked you how it felt to be the devil, how would you answer?”
Jun doesn’t have to think. He says the first word that comes to mind, which is, “Lonely. I think it’s lonely, because They have worshippers, Their followers are devout and love and trust without proof, and you were created to be hated and feared.” You move to interject, but Jun continues. “Maybe you have those things too, but they’re not the same. They gave you everything and then They ripped it away. Their followers heed every word of the Bible, name their children after its characters, but where’s your book? Why wasn’t anyone allowed to tell your story?”
“Maybe you should write it.”
What you aim for: cheeky, a little saucy; the kind of suggestion spoken around a sly smile that’s also a little self-conscious at someone taking you into consideration—at someone seeing you.
How it lands: fractured; words spoken slowly and intentionally so nothing is given away. How ironic that it’s the most human Jun has heard you sound.
But your bravery is inspiring, even if you’re unaware of it. Even if you aren’t making a conscious choice to be so, Jun can watch you be vulnerable and think he can do the same. He can finally say what he’s been dancing around this entire time, which is, “If I kiss you, what will it feel like for you?”
“The same as any other kiss, I imagine.”
“You’ve done this before, then? As a… human?”
Seems your patience with him has run out. You stand, make your way to Jun’s side of the table slowly. Drag a finger along the back of each chair, nails cherry red and sharpened to a point. He wants to feel them. Wants the sting as they dig into his thighs; as they scratch down the length of his back and mark him up. He wants to feel the phantom bite for days, long after you’re gone and he’s come to his senses. When he stands beneath the spray of the shower and his skin feels raw, he wants to know it was you that had done it.
He understands, now, why people make those deals and shake your hand.
As you loom above him, slowly encroaching upon his space—as the heady scent of you overwhelms him and makes him dizzy, has his eyes fluttering closed and rolling back in his head—he thinks he’d give you anything you asked for.
You lean in close. One hand on the arm of the chair, one wrapped around the meat of his thigh, just on the edge of sharp. Closer, closer, until he can feel the warmth of your breath against his cheek, the line of his jaw, the lobe of his ear. “Tell me: does this feel human?”
It does. Drives him a little crazy how he can feel each word punctuated against his skin; how he can feel your body heat seep through the fabric of his pants—heat he didn’t expect to find. And it isn’t like it matters, because he’d want you no matter how you felt, but it helps to ground him. Keep him in the moment. So he says, “Ye-yeah,” and knows you’re smiling at the need in his tone.
Need that starts in his toes and settles in his belly. Need that grows as your hand trails up his thigh and settles over his zipper, over the bulge you find there. Jun’s breath catches in his throat. He knows the mechanics—in, out; in, out; in, out—but can’t convince his lungs to work. Feels lightheaded and a little embarrassed because you’re not even touching him properly and he already feels untethered.
All you do is pull away, back out of his space, and for all he knows his world’s been turned upside down. Doubly so when he cracks one eye open and sees you on your knees, looking up at him with a half-lidded gaze, lashes impossibly dark. He can’t help it. He reaches out, places his thumbs in the contours of your cheek, cups your jaw, and presses his lips to yours.
Immediate searing heat.
Jun is engulfed in it. You taste like a storm—taste like the first deafening crack of thunder and the lightning that follows. And he knows he’s coming across too eager with the way he licks into your mouth, but you don’t seem to mind. You match his pace, groan into his mouth, palm at his cock with more intention. Jun’s hips roll, seeking the friction; wants more of the stinging pleasure. Wants to haul you into his lap and fit his hands in the curve of your waist, leave bruises on your hips with his thumbs. He wants to trace every inch of your skin and commit it to memory.
But you’ve got plans of your own.
You plant your hands against his chest and push. Jun goes willingly, chest heaving, missing your mouth already. There’s a crooked grin sitting on your face that sends a spark of excitement up his spine, has alarms sounding in his head, but he can’t look away. Everything you do mesmerizes him: the way you run your tongue along your bottom lip, the slow drag of his zipper, how your voice is husky and deeper than he’s ever heard it when you ask him, what do you want, and your smile when he answers, whatever you do.
And what you seem to want is to destroy him in record time. Pants at his knees, hard cock straining against his briefs, he feels like he’s back in high school. Has that same sense of adolescent urgency, like everything’s happening both in slow-motion and not fast enough, because he knows what’s coming. Watches with a lip tugged between his teeth as you free his cock. Whimpers when you wrap your hand around him, reminds himself to breathe; grips white-knuckled at the arms of the chair when you begin to move.
Your pace is torturously slow to start. You seem to delight in tormenting him; in hearing all those breathy moans that escape him and spur you on. You lean forward and spit and everything is slick. Jun feels like he’s going to come out of his skin. He grips at the chair tighter. Digs his nails into his thighs when that doesn’t work and lets his head roll back, neck on full display. Maybe it’s to tempt you. Maybe he wants you to sink your teeth into him and mark him up. Maybe he has a million fantasies, and not a single one compares to—
Your mouth. The sound that comes out of him is unholy. It takes every ounce of restraint he has not to roll his hips and fuck his cock deeper into your mouth, down your throat. All he wants to do is chase the bliss of that wet heat and give in to it.
But he needs this to last. If this is the only time he’ll have you like this, he needs to make it worthwhile.
He needs to tell you, needs you to slow it down before he embarrasses himself by coming in your mouth, except he can’t find the words. Doesn’t want to deny himself even a second of pleasure. Five minutes is all it’s taken to make a hedonist out of him. And that’s… well, it’s not a philosophy he ever thought he’d adopt, but who could blame him when you feel like velvet? When he starts babbling nonsense and you hum in response and everything feels electric?
“I’m gonna—” A sharp nip at the inside of his thigh has his declaration dead on arrival. His body shivers, trembles, tries to collapse in on itself. “Shit, don’t do that, I’m gonna—”
He feels your smile against his skin. Whimpers as you mouth at his balls. Wonders if he’s going to die like this; if someone will come to check on him and find his pitiful, half-naked body right here in this chair, and that is not a sight he wants anyone to walk in on, so he reaches for you, finds your hair and tugs at you gently. Seals his lips over yours before you can come up with any more ideas.
He hauls you into his lap, just like he’d wanted, and dips his hands beneath your top. Skims his hands over the warm skin he finds. Digs his nails in when you bite at the column of his throat and groans as his cock—so hard he can barely think straight; can’t think of anything except burying himself inside of you—brushes against the harsh fabric of your pants.
“God, c’mere.” You oblige. Kiss him with such intensity he no longer cares where he dies, so long as this is how he goes out. Watches as stars explode behind his eyelids when he realizes he can taste himself on your tongue, that you taste like him. Moves his hands to your chest, traces lightly over your hard nipples, delights in the way you react, that it’s him making you feel good. That it’s him you let pull your top over your head. That it’s him that presses praise into your skin like scripture.
He mouths at you indiscriminately: your collar bones, the space between your breasts, the swell of skin there. Whines as you grab at his hair and tell him how to please you. Thinks he’s learning a lot about himself when he does as you say, when he sucks and bites at your nipples, and grows impossibly harder.
You sigh, blissed out; tell him you want his mouth elsewhere, fill his mind with thoughts that have him rolling his hips uselessly, thrusting at nothing, but fuck, he wants it all. Wants to taste every part of you. Wants to drag you to the edge and watch as your body writhes in satisfaction. Wants to know how beautiful you look when you come on his tongue, head thrown back, your nails digging into his scalp.
Wants to bury his cock inside of you before you can come down and watch as your eyes roll back and know, with every thrust of his hips, that he’s leaving his mark just the same as you are.
So that’s what he does. He stands, lifting you with ease, tells you to wrap your legs around him as he carries you to his bedroom. Lays you in the middle of the bed and helps strip you bare. Tells you, in every way he can think of, how much he loves seeing you like this, how stunning you are, how lucky he is. Kisses his way down your body until he’s level with your cunt. He breathes in your scent, desperate for all of you, before he circles a thumb over your clit and follows it with his mouth.
Ironic, he thinks, that you taste like heaven.
He gives as good as he got—flattens his tongue and works you over with long licks. Laps and sucks and doesn’t let up when your legs start to shake. Places one over his shoulder and dives back in. Swears fall from your lips in fractured syllables, breathless cries in between commands to keep going. He’s a man possessed. Doesn’t want to waste a second. Doesn’t want the taste of anyone else on his tongue.
You come with a sob, his name the only thing you seem capable of saying. Jun, Jun, Jun, like a chant.
…Like something he’d hear in church.
No reprieve. He stretches you on his fingers, almost delirious as he presses against your g-spot and feels how much wetter you get. Ruts against the mattress at all the crude sounds he’s pulling from you, unable to help himself. Says, “Can I…?” and slicks himself up with what he’s gathered from you when you nod.
He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Kisses the spot just below your ear as he runs his hands up and down your thighs. “How do you want me?” he asks. “Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”
He expects you to want it from behind. Maybe on top so you’re in control, turned away. He doesn’t expect you to say, “Just like this,” as you hitch a leg around his hip and pull him as close as possible. He doesn’t expect you to say, “I want you to look at me,” in that tone, like it’s imperative. Like you need it. He doesn’t expect you to grab the back of his neck and kiss the air from his lungs as he pushes inside.
Heat. Everything is white, blinding heat.
Jun whines into your mouth. Rolls his hips slowly as you swallow it. Your hands move to his shoulders and down his spine, settle in the small of his back, press into the dimples there. He pulls back only so he can tell you to mark him up, that he wants to feel you days from now, and you indulge him. Shallow at first—your nails ghost across his skin, more ticklish than painful, before they dig in a little deeper. Jun feels the bite as the welts begin to form and he thinks his smile must look crazed.
He keeps his pace steady. Fucks in as deep as he can and rocks back slowly, trying to hold on to the way your cunt squeezes him, but you need more. You tell him as much and don’t say please, and when Jun tries to be a little cocky, when he thinks he has a modicum of control and says, “You’re okay, baby, you can take it,” you send him such a nasty glare he immediately gives it to you harder and faster.
But he can’t help but laugh. “What, I can’t call you baby?” he jokes. There’s a rebuttal on the tip of your tongue that Jun does away with with a sharp thrust of his hips. He knows he’s playing with fire, that he’ll pay for this one way or another, but the thought thrills him more than anything else.
“I’m the—fuck,” you swear. Jun doesn’t have to ask why. Everything’s starting to feel tighter, wetter. Both of you are hurtling toward the inevitable, and Jun needs to feel you come on his cock, needs to watch you unravel beneath him.
He grabs your hand. Sucks two of your fingers into his mouth. “Touch yourself,” he says. “Make yourself feel good, I wanna see you come.” He moans, loud and unabashed, when you do as he says.
Each pass of your fingers over your clit makes you jerk, has electricity licking at your heels. Jun feels each one. Feels the way you clench and tremble. A bead of sweat runs down the column of your throat and he traces it with his tongue. Keeps fucking harder, deeper; grinds his pelvis against your clit and falls in love with the way you sound in the throes of lust. Wants to bottle it and keep it forever.
“Jun, I’m gonna—”
Another roll of his hips. Deep, deep, deep. “I know.” Two words he’s barely able to choke out. Feels like he’s being suffocated as his vision starts to go hazy at the edges. All he knows in this moment is your pleasure, your satisfaction, you.
Your orgasm hits with a shattering cry. Jun follows right after, unable to put up a fight against the vice grip of your cunt. It feels pathetic, the way his body shakes with the force of it, but when it passes, when he comes back into his body, all he feels is bone-deep euphoria.
He collapses onto your chest. Presses another kiss there. Sighs contentedly when your nails scratch lightly at his scalp. “Okay?” he asks.
“Yes,” comes your easy answer.
Minutes pass in blissful quiet. Neither of you speak, letting your heavy breathing do the talking, and for once Jun enjoys the sounds of the city outside when there’s someone beside him to hear it, too. “I’m gonna pull out,” he tells you, even though it feels a bit silly.
He feels the loss immediately.
Unsure of the protocol for something like this, Jun does what he always does: pretends there’s absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happening at all.
“I’ll be right back,” he says, punctuating his words with a kiss to your temple. He grabs a clean pair of underwear from a drawer, pulls them on, pads down the hall to the bathroom. He pointedly does not look at his reflection as he turns the tap on and waits for the water to warm. Knows his face is blotchy and flushed and his hair’s a mess and that you’re spread out on his bed looking like the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, so he doesn’t want to look at his reflection and feel bad about himself. Doesn’t want to taint this moment by feeling unworthy of it.
But a bit of that self-doubt still manages to creep in, because he returns to his room and is surprised to find you haven’t left. That, above all else, you look content: laying on your front, one of Jun’s pillows tucked beneath your head, sheets barely covering your ass. You smile when Jun puts a knee on the mattress and you feel it dip. Smile wider when he kisses the length of your spine and tells you, in a voice unrecognizable even to his own ears, to roll onto your back so he can clean you up.
If it’s too intimate, you make no mention of it. If there’s no room in this moment for this kind of care and affection, if all of this is for Jun’s sake and you’re just letting him go through the motions, you don’t mention that, either.
He works slowly and with care. Apologizes when you hiss at the first swipe of the washcloth, the water warm but still colder than your skin. Cracks a joke about taking you out for breakfast in the morning even though both of you know you’ll be long gone by then, and he waits for that knowledge to sting but it never does, but he’s relieved when you laugh anyway.
It’s when you stop laughing, when your smile slowly disappears from your face, that it all starts to sink in. Because you ask, “Did it feel real to you?” and he’s not sure how to interpret that. If it’s a masked plea for reassurance or if you want to make sure he got his money’s worth.
Maybe it’s both. Or maybe it’s neither.
“I know it can’t be for you what it is for me,” he answers, “but if you’re asking if I had a good time, then my answer is yes. And I know what this is, so you don’t need to look like that, okay? I’m not about to confess my love for you and start crying.”
(That’s not entirely true. He really might start crying, but he’ll at least have enough sense to wait until you’re gone.)
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, so I…” You sigh, avert your gaze, tangle your fingers in the sheets. “It’s just—you’re doing all this nice stuff for me, so I didn’t… I wanted to make sure.”
“‘Nice stuff’? You mean helping you clean up and offering you a glass of water?”
You laugh again, but there’s no humor in it. “You’re treating me like I’m human, Wen Junhui. Like I’m the same as any other woman you’d sleep with.”
He cocks his head. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, and that’s the end of that.
Jun doesn’t use his downtown office much, but since his apartment still smells like you, he figures he can use a change of scenery. Hoshi will know where to find him if he’s needed.
He ducks into a recently-opened coffee shop and orders an expensive latte with ingredients he’s never heard of. When he pops the lid, he’s both horrified and intrigued by the purple-blue coffee that greets him. Back outside, he breathes in the musk of the city: the exhaust fumes, cigarette smoke, the sweat from people rushing to work.
A jianbing vendor is set up at the corner, fills him with nostalgia—smells just like the ones he ate nearly every morning during law school. He smiles as he orders and asks for extra lajiao, foolishly ignoring the questioning glance he receives in return, and he’s happy as he walks the remaining two blocks to his office with it warm in his hand. Sticks it in his mouth to hold between his teeth as he digs in his pockets for the key. Jiggles it in the lock as he accidentally bites down, and it takes a second, maybe five, but then—
He should not have asked for the extra chili sauce.
All 182 of his centimeters crash through the door and carelessly toss aside his briefcase. Water. He needs water desperately, even though it’s just going to make it worse, which he knows, but his mouth all the way down to his esophagus feels like it’s been set ablaze. Feels like he’s breathing magma. Feels like if someone stood in front of him right now and caught wind of his breath, they’d turn to ash.
Which explains how he misses the person sitting at his desk, their feet kicked up and face hidden behind a newspaper from six months ago.
He finally notices them some ten minutes later, after he locks himself in the bathroom and douses his face in cold water and can be sure he’s not about to die from excessive heat intake. Not that this is any less embarrassing for him: he shrieks, clearly not expecting anyone to be there, and the stranger shrieks in turn. The shriek-off lasts approximately thirty seconds and is cut off by an elderly woman sticking her head through the door and asking if everything is alright, to which Jun sheepishly nods and bows in apology as he thanks her for her concern.
Once she’s back on the street, he whirls around to face his intruder.
“Good morning,” Hoshi says, seemingly nonplussed by the entire sequence of events that have transpired. “Had a little mishap with the chili sauce, huh?” Jun ignores him. Snatches the newspaper out of his hands and shoos him out of his chair and into one intended for guests. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
Jun glares. “Why are you—”
“Or should I say the only side of the bed, considering you had erotic entanglements with the devil.”
Annoyance flares within him. Has that lajiao heat rushing back to his skin. Hoshi’s got a lot of nerve—the same guy who refused to tell him much of anything, who just takes and takes and takes, is now criticizing him for exercising his free will. Well, Jun’s not going to accept that, he decides. Adopts a snotty little tone and says, “So you were spying on me? Wow, okay, you pervert.”
Hoshi balks. Trips over his words as he tries to mount a useless defense. “I didn’t—that’s not—no,” is the best he can come up with.
“Did you like the show?”
“Wen Junhui—”
“Very convenient that’s the thing you watched. Missed my whole crisis of faith, huh? Both of them? Didn’t think I’d maybe need some support during those times?” He shakes his head. Tries to hold on to the anger, because it’s less humiliating than crying after acting like a hard-ass. “At least she’s been honest. At least she’s always been upfront about who and what she is. You guys—you guys have all these demands, all these requirements, but at the end of the day none of it matters. We’re all just pawns, and that’s all you’ll ever see us as.”
The angel stays quiet. Can’t quite discern if Jun’s tirade is over. He narrows his gaze, opens his mouth as if he’s going to speak just to see if Jun will interrupt him. (He doesn’t.) He clears his throat and tries to remember the correct pitch for his Comforting Voice: this will prove to be a pivotal moment in Wen Junhui’s partnership with Upstairs, and he’s going to need it.
“Wen Junhui,” he attempts again. No, the tone isn’t right—needs to be a little lower. “Wen Junhui, I am… holding space for everything you’ve just told me.” That’s better. Sounds convincing enough. “Is it fair to say you feel abandoned and unimportant?”
Jun’s cheeks warm to a mortifying shade of red. “I guess,” he mumbles.
“Great!” Hoshi beams. “Thank you so much for trusting me with this sensitive information.” He snaps his fingers and another manila folder appears in front of Jun. “Since you’re feeling better, this is your next assignment! If you open to the first page, you’ll see the contractee’s name is Choi Seungcheol and that he is of the utmost import—”
“No.”
“—ance.” Hoshi, unused to being caught unawares not once but twice in the same conversation, simply blinks, limbs frozen mid-air. “Pardon?”
“I said no.”
“Right, right… See, I heard that, but I’m not following. What do you mean no?”
Jun stands and starts clearing off the desk. Not that there’s much on it besides a framed picture of himself sandwiched between his parents at his graduation and an unused candle. Peach bellini. Hoshi had procured it from who-knows-where, said it was “an important part of Internet history” (that Jun must’ve missed) and called it a “belated graduation gift,” except the smell was so sickly-sweet it immediately gave him a migraine as soon as the lid came off.
All of this is besides the point, which is this: Jun doesn’t need this office. He doesn’t need this weird job where he reports to these weird people.
He says as much.
“Hey!” Hoshi objects, to which Jun responds, “You’re wearing a shirt with a cartoon wolf on it that says Fighting the Gay Allegations Again. I mean come on, dude, where do you even find these things?”
“You don’t like my shirts?”
“No! And I also don’t like that you just pretended to care about my feelings so I’d get back to work like a good little corporate soldier!” He’s able to fit the picture frame in his briefcase, but the candle doesn’t fit. Even if they’re arguing, it seems rude to give it back to Hoshi when he’d gone out of his way to get him a gift to begin with, so he lets out a frustrated screech and decides to carry it back to his apartment. “Find some other would-be Pope to help you.”
Although his face is blotchy and wet, Hoshi seems undeterred. There are, of course, no other would-be Popes available on such short notice—especially not one that’s earned the favor of the devil—so he needs to think up a plan quickly. If he fumbles Wen Junhui, he’ll either never hear the end of it from the lower-ranking angels or he’ll be stoned, and neither sounds very favorable right now.
So he does the only thing he can think to do: he snaps his fingers.
Kim Mingyu looks exactly like his picture.
He’s just as tall and symmetrically good-looking as Jun thought he would be, dressed in an impeccably-fitting white suit that elongates his legs and makes him look far taller than the six-foot-one-point-nine-repeating he’d measured in at. Dark, slightly wavy hair frames a perfect set of cheekbones, and whatever cologne he’s wearing nearly has Jun drooling.
He might actually be doing that, he realizes with horror, because Kim Mingyu also looks supremely uncomfortable. Is fluttering from one thing to the next, never staying more than a few seconds in each spot, tidying and organizing the same items over and over, muttering apologies all the while. And the board room really is not that big, so all that anxiety is starting to wear off on Jun, who was in his own office only a few minutes ago arguing with an angel that is currently nowhere to be found.
“So sorry about the mess!” Mingyu chimes. Jun can tell he’s trying (and failing) for unaffected. “I didn’t know we were having visitors, but no matter! My mother always used to say…” He pauses. Straightens his posture. Grabs a bouquet of white hydrangeas from a stunning pearlescent vase just to drop them right back in. “Er, I suddenly don’t remember anything my mother used to say.”
Jun grimaces and hides it behind his hand. “‘Have a wonderful day at school’?” he offers.
Mingyu smiles, makes a little a-ha! sound as he snaps his fingers; seems thankful for the lifeline he’d been thrown. Says, “Yes, yes, of course!” and starts fussing over the state of the table. He squirts a concerning amount of cleaner and wipes at it so aggressively Jun fears he’s going to wear a hole in the wood. “I’ve been told there was a slight security issue, but please rest assured that the rest of our guests should be arriving very soon! Any second now!”
That last bit comes out more like a demand.
Even though he feels far less intelligent than Hoshi claims he is, Jun is still smart enough to deduce he’d been snap-blasted to Heaven, not only because Mingyu is here and there are vaguely ominous security issues, but also because there’s a placard next to the door:
Board Room 17 Pearly Gates Wing
“It’s weird seeing you in real life after staring at the picture in your file for so long,” Jun says, continuing to look around. Everything is stark white, which he expected, with accents of gold that dazzles so brightly it hurts his eyes and pink freshwater pearl, and the flowers are abundant and fragrant. Jun feels at peace here. If it weren’t for Mingyu and his rapidly-fraying nerves, he might even call it tranquil. “I think I have a crush on you.”
Mingyu flushes. Unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth to stammer out a response that’s interrupted by three more figures materializing by the door.
Hoshi stands in the middle of Jeonghan and Joshua, arms slung around both of their shoulders. The two demons, naturally, do not look pleased. Jeonghan especially looks tortured, which is at odds with his new pink hair, and he’s the first to shrug off the angel. He grabs the chair closest to him and makes sure it scrapes against the floor as noisily as possible before slumping into it, arms crossed, scowl so fierce his frown lines nearly touch his jaw.
Joshua does the same, though he looks far more delighted to have a seat at the table.
From an invisible speaker, Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 in C Minor comes blaring. Hoshi and Mingyu startle; the latter goes in search of a tablet, completely frazzled, mumbling oh no oh no oh no as he rummages through drawers. Jeonghan and Joshua side-eye one another and come away wearing matching glares. To his credit, Jun sits ramrod straight and doesn’t flinch. When no one’s looking he sticks his fingers in his ears to dampen the noise and smiles politely at Mingyu when they make awkward eye contact.
The music cuts out, Mingyu heaves a sigh of relief, and once the tense silence settles back into the room, he turns to Hoshi and stage whispers, “Should I put it back on, or…?” to which Hoshi frantically nods.
Opening blaring once again, it’s then that you walk through the door, flanked on all sides by an impressive security detail. (Heaven’s, of course. They’re also dressed in all white and wearing mitre hats with SECURITY embroidered across the front in gold beadwork. Jun wonders, briefly, if this is where Hoshi gets his inspiration from.)
You’re escorted to a seat. There are seven chairs on the side of the table opposite Jun; you’re given the one in the middle, and Jeonghan and Joshua immediately move to sit on each side of you. You carry yourself with an easy confidence, not at all rattled by being here in this setting. It’s almost comical how your body language contrasts with Hoshi and Mingyu: how they’re at home, where they’re meant to be, and their unease is so apparent; and you’re where you’ve been exiled from, antithetical to what you’ve been put in charge of, a place that Jun knows picks at all those old wounds like a buzzard, and your composure is faultless.
Something you have to be, he figures.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen, what’s with the long faces?” you ask, brows knit in faux-concern. You look the same as the last time Jun saw you—he’s sure it’s a power play, meant to throw him off, and it works. Heat simmers along his skin as the memories come flooding back. He wonders what you look like to everyone else. “It’s so lovely to see you all again.” You turn to Mingyu, who seems to shrink under your undivided attention. “Especially you, handsome. We’ve all been mourning the loss of our favorite eye candy.”
Mingyu squeaks. “Um!” He scrambles to the head of the table. His hands shake as he tries to unlock the tablet. “There’s, uh—an ag-agenda! For this me-meeting. Very important! Just one moment, please, and I’ll—”
“Very fascinating,” Jeonghan interjects. “Do you anticipate this happening at any point today? I have to oversee a workshop this afternoon about new ways to make men insecure about their penises and I simply cannot miss it. It’s my second-favorite event of the year.”
“What’s the first?” Jun can’t help but ask.
“The social media workshops. Next month’s is about online bullying and new ways to avoid getting banned by safeguarding teams so you can continue trolling in peace without fear of repercussions. The one after that is about sending in anonymous gossip to those Spotted In Such-and-such Facebook pages for places no one cares about.”
Joshua nods. “I think the Stevenage one is my favorite. When’s the workshop about the new Lego shapes to step on?”
Mingyu’s mouth snaps closed. In an attempt to nip the derailment in the bud, Hoshi says, “I think what our Head of HR meant to say was—”
“HR? None of you are human.”
“It stands for Heaven Relations, obviously,” Hoshi snaps, “and we’ve called this emergency meeting because we’ve been made aware of a very troubling development.”
You gasp. Lean forward and widen your eyes like you have no idea what he could possibly be referring to. “No! A troubling development, you say?” You fold your hands on the table. “Tell me all about it.”
Jun, however, cannot possibly play it so cool. Feels dread overtake his body as restless anxiety sets in. The mind reader that he is, Joshua sends him a discreet wink that does very little to settle his nerves. Still feels like he’s drank fifteen cups of light roast coffee and is about to sit for a law school exam he forgot to study for.
“It has come to our attention that…” Mingyu looks down at the tablet. Looks up and over at Hoshi. Grimaces. “Do I really have to say this?”
“Yes.”
He huffs and continues. “It has recently come to our attention that one Wen Junhui, would-be Pope and recently-licensed lawyer accepted into a contracted position at Their approval, has engaged in… sexual relations… with the being known colloquially as the Devil.”
Jeonghan looks sideways at you with the most disgustedly disappointed look Jun has ever seen appear on a face. To the contrary, Joshua leans across the table to high-five him and say, “You dirty dog! I bet it was better than that handjob, huh?” He leans back, whistles low. “Goddamn, why is it every time you get some action it’s like some end of days shit? You ever consider becoming celibate?”
“Not involuntarily,” Jun mumbles.
“Shame,” Jeonghan intones. You laugh at this.
Hoshi, once again fed up with his meeting being derailed, says to Jeonghan and Joshua, “Why are you two even here?” to which they reply, “We’re her advocates. We’re advocating.”
“No advocating has ever taken place while the three of you have been in this room.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “At ease, Megamind.”
“Metatron,” Mingyu quietly corrects.
Jun snorts. Of course. Of course Hoshi is one of the most powerful archangels in Heaven. Speaker of God, permitted to be in Their presence and at Their side; celestial scribe and guide to humanity—the guy who appears earthside wearing crude t-shirts and stupid hats. Of-fucking-course.
All of this is enough to drive him to lunacy. All the things he didn’t and doesn’t know, all the secrets kept locked up tight, all the jokes he continues to be the butt of. Everyone in this room is on equal footing except him, and he’s the one seemingly on trial. Heaven doesn’t care what you do—your role is to sow chaos and they’re powerless to stop you, just as you’re powerless here. No, the only one that will feel the repercussions of this is Jun, not only because he’s the only one capable of being punished, but because he’s human.
He must sense his distress again, because Joshua mouths a watch this before saying, with all the conviction and tenacity of a seasoned prosecutor, “Allow me to advocate, then: we do not accept these accusations as fact without being presented with irrefutable proof, which I’m sure you have, considering you’ve made such a show of gathering us all here.”
Mingyu and Hoshi share a look.
“I—well, you see—”
“Surely you don’t need irrefutable proof to understand what a conflict of interest this is and why we’re concerned.”
“A conflict of interest which surely has already taken place?” Jeonghan tacks on. Joshua nods with grave sincerity. “Or have you called an impromptu, emergency meeting to discuss hypotheticals?” Mingyu and Hoshi share another look. “Gentlemen, need we remind you of the criteria that must be met before an emergency meeting may be called? I cannot imagine two high-ranking employees such as yourselves disregarded such strict protocols simply because of the parties involved?”
“Haaa, of course not!” Hysterical, frenzied laughter ensues. “No, no, we would never—”
Joshua shakes his head. “It sure is looking like that’s what has taken place here today, but I hate to assume the worst, so if you could just show us the permits I’m sure we can get this all cleared up.”
“Per-permits…?”
Jeonghan has all the patience in the world as he replies, “Section 894, subsection 12 of the accords states that in order for an emergency meeting to be called and granted between the constituents of Heaven and Hell, the proper permits must be filed and signed off on by the governing bodies of each at least 72 hours in advance. Now, it’s possible the paperwork was signed on our side, but as you know our boss is very, very busy and it seems to have been misplaced, so we have no way of confirming this.” You nod, sharing Joshua’s very serious look. “Hence the permits. Show them to us, please.”
There’s hope yet that Jun will get out of this. Be on the receiving end of his own strategy. Jeonghan and Joshua start up a show us the per-mits! show us the per-mits! chant that sends Hoshi and Mingyu into a panic. The latter, now soaked through with sweat, does a fruitless search on his tablet, while Hoshi tries to distract everyone with an interpretive dance none of them can make sense of.
“I believe this is a reflection of his current state of mind,” you say solemnly, playing the part of an esteemed art critic. “It’s histrionic on the surface, but once you dig deeper, it’s uncontrolled and frenetic at its roots. A wonderful metaphor for a fractured, disjointed mind, but severely lacking in execution.”
“Amen,” Jeonghan and Joshua say in unison.
Minutes pass. It’s clear the permits don’t exist, but Mingyu keeps up the charade of searching anyway, much to the delight of the Hell delegation. “Have you tried the top drawer of that thing?” Joshua asks right after Jeonghan suggests checking the trash folder on the desktop in his office. You, of course, stay quiet, content to soak up your victory in silence—albeit while looking extremely smug.
“Well!” you say, clapping your hands together with a wicked smile. “This was fun. Thank you both so much for the invite, but I fear we must be going. Duty calls.”
Hoshi is having none of this. Permits be damned, another snap of his fingers finds you bound to your chair, chains wrapped around each of your forearms. You hiss at the contact. “Whoa,” Jun whispers, and if Jeonghan’s and Joshua’s mouths hadn’t been removed by the same finger-snap, he assumes there’d be a crude joke coming his way.
“The three of you would do well to remember who and where you are.” Hoshi speaks with all the authority bestowed upon him. It’s a stark difference from how Jun usually sees him—aloof and unserious, more like a court jester—and it has him straightening in his chair. “None of us will be leaving this room until the matter is resolved.”
You roll your neck. Press your tongue into the fat of your cheek but otherwise don’t move. Pain flashes across your face each time the chains leave fresh wounds in your skin and Jun wants to tell them to cut it out, call this whole thing off, say it doesn’t mean anything, but he’s still so clueless. Still so far out of his depth. These matters concern him but are so far beyond his pay grade it’s all he can do to keep treading water.
And you know this, because you say, “There is no conflict of interest. Everything is business as usual.”
Hoshi doesn’t even make eye contact as he retorts, “Which is useless, coming from you.”
Mingyu offers up a tight-lipped smile. “I think what my colleague is trying to say is that we simply cannot trust word of mouth in a matter as serious as this. As I’m sure you understand, Wen Junhui is a special case. It’s quite rare They enlist the help of humans in such circumstances, and if he is no longer able to perform his duties in an unbiased manner due to your influence—”
Teeth grit, you repeat, “There is no conflict of interest.”
Mingyu sighs. Sets down his tablet and narrows his gaze. He seems to have shaken off the dregs of doubt and uncertainty, because he looks powerful. Looks intimidating, which is not a word Jun would have used to describe him twenty minutes ago. “Need I remind you of your role in this universe? Chaos and temptation; calamity and destruction. You serve no one. You do not speak in truths, nor are you concerned with them. Your ambition and pride were your downfall, and it seems you have learned nothing in the years since.” He turns his attention to Jun. “And if you doubt what I say, remember I witnessed all of this with my own eyes.”
“Scandalous! And what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament, Kim Mingyu?”
Jun nods, earning him an incredulous look from Hoshi. “Well, she has a point,” he defends. “There is that saying about stones and glass houses or whatever. He wouldn’t have seen all of those things if he hadn’t made a deal with her in the first place.”
Hoshi is quiet. Mingyu looks betrayed. “Are you not going to—”
“He, too, has a point,” the angel concedes. “I mean, did you really have to do all that? You were already hot and tall, I just don’t—”
Even with no mouths, it’s obvious Jeonghan and Joshua are snickering.
The bickering continues before eventually devolving into baseless name-calling. Jun’s head snaps back and forth like he’s watching a tennis match, and it’s not that far off. Mingyu hones in on your lack of character, prompting Hoshi to chime in with something equally cruel or just nonsensical in an attempt to back him up, and you handle both of them with ease, laughing off their taunting just to get under their skin. Which works, of course, so on and on it goes, ad nauseam, until Jun puts everyone out of their misery and puts an end to it.
“Isn’t anyone going to ask me how I feel?” At once the room goes silent, all squabbling ceased, and the sudden quiet has his ears ringing. “I know you don’t need me,” he says to you, amazed he can meet your eye when he feels like that admission is going to make him vomit. He turns to Mingyu and Hoshi. “But you two do, and throughout this whole experience I have been left out, lied to, and talked over. Did either of you ever stop to consider that’s why I refused the assignment and it has nothing to do with her? That she’s telling the truth when she says there’s no conflict of interest?”
At least they have the good sense to look embarrassed.
Mingyu is the first to crack. He bows slightly at the waist and says, “On behalf of Heaven, I would like to offer you our deepest and most sincere apologies.”
Hoshi follows suit. “Right. Exactly what he said.”
Jun studies each of them. Mingyu, he knows, is just doing what any human resources officer worth their salt would do: protect the company at all costs. Fortunately this works out in Jun’s favor. He’s important and necessary and, against all odds, has proven his worth and abilities to boot. Heaven can’t negotiate with Hell without him, and it’s this knowledge that spurs him on, has him crossing one leg over the other and folding his arms across his chest. Total power stance. Hoshi gapes a little.
“I think there’s a compromise to be found here.”
The compromise is this: just as there are souls in Hell that were meant to go to Heaven, the reverse is also true. Jun had stumbled across them during his hours of research: souls that had somehow slipped through the cracks and went north when they were meant to go south; souls stuck in an endless purgatory that a lax Judgment Deliverer let in because they didn’t feel like doing paperwork; judgment numbers in which an integer got input incorrectly. What he proposes is a one-for-one trade. Heaven wants Choi Seungcheol, so they’ll have to give up someone in return.
It evens the playing field—
“Which was the original intention, was it not?”
More importantly, and perhaps more selfishly, Jun will no longer be able to be used as a pawn. He’ll uphold his original agreement while doing the same for you—for Hell. He’ll rewrite the terms and conditions of the contracts after each soul has been judged fairly and impartially by both factions, essentially voiding the concept of sides.
“I would be working for you both,” he concludes. “It’s the only way any of this remains fair.”
(He’s also not trying to invoke your wrath and spend eternity getting dipped in hot oil, but he doesn’t feel it’s the right time to admit that.)
After a lengthy silence that Hoshi spends pressing against his ear, the angel eventually says, “Heaven is amenable to these terms if Hell is.”
You heave a long-suffering sigh that has Jun on the edge of his seat. This proposal was certainly better than the last one he’d pitched you, but you’re giving nothing away. Also of little help are Jeonghan and Joshua who have fallen asleep and are snoring loudly. Mingyu leans over to wipe a spot of drool from the corner of Joshua’s mouth. He doesn’t move.
After what feels like a lifetime, you nod. “Fine. Hell is also amenable to these terms.” A chorus of cheers. Jun does an embarrassing little wiggle out of excitement. Hoshi stands on top of the table and pumps his fist. Mingyu, still in HR mode, starts listing off all the potential new job titles for Jun.
(In the end his new name tag reads: Wen Junhui, Special Counsel to Heaven & Hell, Contracts Division.)
Before you leave, and before the celebrations can get too out of hand, Jun clears his throat. “I have a request,” he says, before adding on, “if the whole payment in forms other than money thing is still on the table.”
“It is,” Mingyu confirms.
“Great.” He sucks in a breath. Lets it go all disjointed and shaky. There’s no going back once he says this and they grant it—which they will, considering the way Mingyu’s nearly tripping over himself to give him whatever he wants. But it’s still a massive ask. It will still change the trajectory of his existence, just like that handjob had done. And even though he’s certain it’s what he wants, he still wonders if he’s making a mistake as he says, “I want to be immortal.”
Jeonghan and Joshua jerk awake. “What the fuck did he just say?”
Hoshi, too, looks stunned. “Uh, are you sure?”
No, Jun wants to say, please talk me out of it, but the words die in his throat when he looks at you. There’s not a hint of bewilderment to be found. No shock or awe. There’s just the smallest nod of your head, meant just for him, that says all he needs to hear—that you see him, that you recognize he’d gone through all of this insanity because he needed to find his own path, and that he’s finally found in it the meaning he’d been searching for.
“I’m sure,” he confirms, completely void of hesitation.
Hoshi scratches at the back of his neck. “Well, I—that’s quite a big request. I’ll have to see what we can do.”
Mingyu, however, spoils the inevitable surprise by giving him a thumbs-up.
After that, there isn’t much left to say. Mingyu formally concludes the meeting and thanks Hell for their attendance and participation, to which Jeonghan gives him the finger before disappearing in a plume of smoke that causes everyone to gag. Joshua takes advantage and slips out the door undetected. Mingyu and Hoshi are none the wiser until some of the employees down the hall start screaming. “Please excuse us,” Mingyu chokes out before he, too, disappears in the direction of the shouting. Hoshi hangs back, tries to swallow his amused smile, but then Mingyu returns to drag him away.
Only you and Jun remain. “What did Joshua do?” he asks, less to break the silence and more because he’s nosy.
“Released roughly three dozen of those terrifying tarantulas that eat birds.”
“Oh.”
Silence creeps in anyway—not awkward, but Jun can tell there’s something you want to say. Should he hover? He doesn’t want you to feel obligated (not that you would), but he can’t deny that he’s curious. You, the literal devil, reluctant to say something to him, just a human? It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.
“You’re not gonna get all clingy and weird now that we’ve had sex, are you?” he jokes.
Shockingly, you do not find this funny. “I may have lied about inventing Jenny McCarthy, but I did invent the guillotine. And the electric chair. And the rack—”
“Noted,” Jun replies, giddy all over. Can’t help it as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his slacks and rocks back on his heels. “Should I walk you to the door?”
“Don’t you dare,” comes your response, but Jun does it anyway. Gets away with it by dropping some quip about his mother raising him to be a gentleman, and it’d just destroy her if she knew Jun wasn’t abiding by her teachings.
Your reluctant smile is akin to pulling teeth, but it still shows up.
Whatever havoc had been wreaked by Joshua seems to have been solved. There’s blissful silence as the two of you reach the door, and Jun knows his escort is pomp and circumstance, that you could disappear in the blink of an eye the way Jeonghan had, but he appreciates you going through the motions for his sake, that you’ve allowed him a moment of normalcy.
“Was it hard coming back here?” he asks, leaning against the door frame to stem his desire to reach out for you.
“Well, it’s certainly never easy, but I’ve got plenty of psychologists down there I can talk it over with if need be.” You check an invisible watch. “Do you think Freud is available for lunch tomorrow?”
“If he’s not, I am.”
A bark of shocked laughter has you covering your mouth. “I did not expect that from you.”
“Did it work?”
“No,” you reply instantly. “Have a great weekend, Wen Junhui. I’m sure our paths will cross again soon.”
Jun nods… which is about all he can do, considering he’s stuck here for the time being. Hoshi sent him here, which means Hoshi’s the only one who can send him back—some stupid security rule Jun wasn’t paying attention to when it’d been explained to him. So he sticks the corner of his thumb in his mouth, thinks about how great your ass looked in those pants as you walked away, and pivots back into the conference room to await the angel with the stupid t-shirts.
Except, as soon as he turns around, there you are. Face to face. Close enough that your scent is paralyzing, but it’s different now—softer, he thinks; something that makes him feel less like he’s been ensnared in your web and more like he’s been invited in. Close enough that when you lean in he can feel the warmth of your breath on his skin, that sensitive spot just below his ear.
“You were wrong,” you say, so quiet he’s not sure he isn’t imagining your words, filling in the blanks of what he wants to hear. “What you said earlier, about me not needing you.”
Then you’re gone.
In the blink of an eye, just like he thought you’d be.
He makes a mental note to be available tomorrow around lunchtime.
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Sharing and reblogging my work is the best way to say you enjoyed it, but I also accept any and all feedback and screaming in my inbox. <3
#jun x reader#jun smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#DHLCollab#jun imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenarios#junhui x reader#junhui imagines#junhui smut
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octavinelle with animal lover reader ✧・゚
Summary: This Yuu has always loved animals since they were young, fish and mammals alike. They venture to see the ocean life in Octavinelle, meaning both the fish and the fish people :)
TW/CW: None
Notes: pre-relationship, gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns for the reader, the reader is implied to be Yuu/Ramshackle Prefect
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[Name] had always loved animals. Dogs, cats, even fish! They were all so cool. When they were little they had been interested in fields of work involving animals. As they grew up, the love never faded. Even in this Twisted Wonderland, it remained. But... with some new sides.
Now that focus was directed elsewhere. Here at NRC, there were merfolk and beastmen. It was all too cool. They had to ask, they had to investigate. They wanted to know more, to know everything!
They walked into the Mostro Lounge and approached...
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Azul Ashengrotto
Azul is a very busy man and he doesn't expect part of his day to be... this. [Name] catches him off-guard, something he doesn't like.
He is used to the weirdest of people asking him for things.
People always want things from him.
However, someone asking about his merform really makes him unsettled as he doesn't care for the form himself.
He sighs as soon as the questions begin but doesn't stop them.
Sadly, he is fond of this human and he lets them yap at him.
They apparently like octopi. He is oddly flattered by this sentiment.
In the end, Azul answers some of [Name]'s weird questions.
He offers them a few non-sinister smiles as well.
All for free, of course. He's a benevolent force after all.
Azul was startled when [Name] first burst into the Lounge and asked to speak to him. Well, asked was putting it nicely. They entered the room and beelined for Azul, much to his frustration. He had been working but doubted he would get anything more done now.
"Yes, [Name]-san?" he asked them after a moment, "What did you need from me?"
His voice was calm and collected as he smiled his businessman's smile at them, hoping to make this quick if it had anything to do with Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, or even that cat, Grim.
"I wanted to ask you something, Azul."
[Name] seemed confident today.
"Ask me what, exactly?" Azul asked them.
"I want to know more about merfolk. I've always loved animals and there are so many animal-like species here... I just need to know more!" they explained.
Azul was at a loss for words. They wanted to ask him about his... About merfolk? That was odd. It had to be a joke, right? This was...
"Can you tell me about them? Or yourself?" [Name] asked.
They had a look on their face that made Azul want to give in, much to his annoyance. Why was he okay with this? He didn't understand it.
"Alright, ask away with the questions then," he told them.
They smiled again as they asked their question.
"I was wondering if you can regrow your tentacles!"
"What."
Azul was once again at a loss for words. The octomer offered them an incredulous look. What the fuck? Why would you need to know that?
"I was wondering if you c—"
"I heard you the first time," he shushed them, "Why?"
"No reason, just curious," they told him.
He sighed. Today was going to be a long day.
"Alright, so you are just wondering about this trait in octopus merfolk," he repeated, for them or himself it was unclear, "I suppose the simple answer is... yes, I can."
"You can???"
[Name] seemed surprised.
"That's so cool! That's part of why octopi are some of my favorite animals! They're so magical to be able to do things like that!"
[Name continued to prattle on about octopi. But... For some reason, it felt a bit personal and Azul felt his face heat up.
"Is there a-anything else you'd like to know?"
"Well—Azul are you okay? You look like you have a fever!"
"No, no, I'm quite alright," he assured them, and the discussion continued.
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Jade Leech
Jade is always "polite" to those who come into the lounge.
He knows this human so he humors their questions.
He kindly reminds them that they need to buy a drink to stay.
"If you don't buy a drink I am afraid I will have to send you away..."
He sheds a few fake tears as he says this.
He knows that [Name] will understand he is kidding.
(He is serious about the drinks though)
Jade happens to be working when [Name] shows up.
He continues to do his job while they chat, slowly having them do lounge tasks alongside him while they talk. Feed two birds.
He finds it cute that they like morays this much.
Jade wonders if you would talk to him about his terrariums.
Even though he wouldn't mind showing off his merform, he is too busy with work and tells [Name] that it would hinder his work.
"I am very sorry, [Name], that is not a service the lounge provides."
Jade smiled at the sight of [Name] helping to bring orders to tables and check on the patrons of the Mostro Lounge. It was certainly helpful to have an additional set of hands during the busy hours. They had come asking questions about merfolk, asking one of the few they knew at school... It had resulted in work time for them.
The Octavinelle Vice Housewarden would say he felt bad if it did not benefit him immensely to have their time and energy today.
"Next order, [Name]-san," he reminded, handing them a tray as they came up to the counter once more, "Three more to go, I believe."
"Jade, will you really tell me more about merfolk if I do this?"
"Yes, of course," Jade told them, "You see, a deal is a deal and we at the Mostro Lounge take these things very seriously."
He gave them a close-mouthed smile that [Name] trusted.
They gave a quick nod and took the next order to its table.
"Hehe," came the soft laugh from Jade as he watched them go.
They trusted him too much, he was sure of it. But it was almost endearing when he thought about it, the blind trust of someone so kindhearted. He had to admit it interested him why they had trusted so easily. He was not as outwardly threatening as Floyd but he was certainly no saint either. Some said Jade was scarier than Floyd.
"I'm ready for the next one!" [Name] said, having returned while Jade was thinking, "Eh? Jade? Are you okay?"
The "shady" smile of Jade's returned as he nodded to them.
"Ah, of course. I'm alright. Let us take these last ones, shall we?"
Together, the pair delivered the last three orders to their customers who were eagerly waiting. Jade took two while [Name] took one with both hands. They had made quick work of the growing number of orders that had piled. Jade noted that he needed to edit the scheduling for the Lounge. This was not enough workers. Was it?
"Will you answer a question now?" [Name] asked as they headed back toward the Lounge kitchen, "Or is there more work to be done?"
"It would depend entirely on what your question is, [Name]-san," Jade told them, being surprisingly honest at that moment.
"I want to know what merfolk are like! What do they look like or do under the sea?" [Name] asked him, sparkling as brightly as gold.
"I see, I see," Jade mused as he thought, "I am afraid that I cannot show you what a merperson looks like today. It would hinder the productivity of the Lounge and Azul would not like it."
[Name] pouted and Jade only chuckled at the response.
"I can perhaps explain a fact you might like, though," he told them, "Would that suffice? One fact from a moray to a human."
"Ooh, okay!" [Name] agreed with a smile.
Jade admittedly found it a bit cute, but he didn't say anything about it. That would be a sentiment he shelved for another day.
"Us moray eel merfolk are bioluminescent."
"You glow? Like a glowstick?" they asked.
"What is a glowstick?" Jade returned the question with a question.
"You shake them and then crack them and they glow."
[Name] demonstrated with violent miming.
"...We glow but I do not think the shaking nor cracking is required."
"Oh..." they replied, pausing before they smiled again, "Cool!"
[Name] still seemed just as enthusiastic about it even without the added violence. Jade had to admit, maybe he wouldn't mind teaching them more should they desire it.
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Floyd Leech
Floyd having a bad mood day or not is the deciding factor for how he reacts to someone who is this enthusiastic about his species.
Let's assume you find him on a good day for your own safety.
Floyd laughs at you for asking. He thinks it's funny you like eels.
He thinks it's even funnier than they are asking him about eels.
"Do you ask the beastmen about themselves too?"
Still, it's kind of cute, he has to admit.
He answers questions, some better than others.
He gives some interesting facts here and there.
He isn't stupid, he just doesn't care for lessons much.
When [Name asks him about his merform, he smirks.
This just got very interesting :3
What a generous offer, as Azul might say.
Floyd watched [Name] as they listed off their favorite animals, among them were eels. He gave them a toothy grin as he heard the words leave them, the kind of expression that would send most people running to the opposite end of the damn school.
"Ne, Shrimpy. Do you really like eels that much?" he asked them, leaning a bit closer to them to stare at them with heterochromatic eyes, "Are they your favorite animal of all? That'd be fun."
"I like all animals, though," [Name] told him with a laugh, not seeming to mind the space, "But I am pretty fond of eels."
"All eels?" Floyd asked, hinting at the answer that would satisfy him.
"Well, I mean all eels are cool," they said before looking at him and smiling a moment later, "But I like morays the best."
"Good! We are the best there is," Floyd agreed, a grin still sparkling on his face as he laughed along with the human guest, forgetting his work.
He could waste time a bit with them. Azul would only get so mad and he was boring anyway, so serves him right. There was no way Floyd was in the mood to cook right now. He was in the mood to chat with Shrimpy about their favorite animals.
"So what else did you want to know?" Floyd asked, leaning against one of the plush chairs in the lounge as he watched them.
[Name]'s eyes sparkled.
"I really want to see what a merperson looks like..." they said, "Are they really so fishy?"
"Hmm? Why don't you find out, then~" Floyd said, taking [Name]'s hand as he walked them over to one of the larger fish tanks that decorated the space and climbed into it.
[Name] was amazed by the massive form that Floyd took on when outside of his human disguise. He was turquoise, with stripped patterns on his body and arm and ear fins that matched his coloring.
"Think us merfolk are nice then?" Floyd teased, "Want to join me?"
[Name] nodded, though it was unclear to which part of the question.
"Come on then!" Floyd said, giggling, reaching to pull them into the tank with him, "Aa, so nice~"
[Name] felt the cold water on their wet clothes that were now sticking to their body. They leaned up against Floyd who was so tall in this form. Or would it be "long"? Is that a better word? They didn't know.
This calm lasted only for a moment...
"FLOYD. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Azul's voice could be heard from across the room.
"Oops~ caught by the bossman," Floyd said, laughing again even if he seemed a bit miffed about being interrupted.
Even if the Lounge was busy and Floyd was on shift, he would always see it this way: Azul was interrupting his time with Shrimpy.
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Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^
#twst x reader#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twst#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#x you#x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#azul ashengrotto#floyd leech#jade leech#octavinelle#octavinelle x reader#gender neutral reader#reader insert#writing#fanfiction#requests are open#requests are welcome#requests open#writing blog#my writing#writer#twst fanfic#kiyo cant write twst
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PR Stunt (Only, Right?) | Sukuna/M!Reader
W/C: 6.9K (oh god lol) #NSFW, fingering, implied fucking, bottom!reader, top!sukuna, angst, fluff, smut, happy ending, Sukuna owns a body shop, reader is an actor, kinda meet cute, ABO dynamics, mpreg, yes there are always babies involved because i love dad sukuna, surprise baby, sukuna is a dickhead (what else is new), Gojo is an actor, Getou is a manager/agent, Toji is a stunt coordinator, Jin is a teacher tags: @kamote-kuneho @better-imagination-9 @flowersatwork @watyousayin
“Did you sleep with (L. Name) (F. Name)?”
The question caught Sukuna off guard; normally, Uraume didn't inquire into his personal life in regards to who he had and hadn't slept with. They were a friend, yes, but moreover they were the bookkeeper and helped with securing clients and arranging meetings–celebrities and their managers were fucks that Sukuna didn't like negotiating with. Best to leave the yapping to someone with a cooler head.
“Where the hell did that come from?” Sukuna asked as he rolled out from under the newest commissioned vehicle.
Uraume walked to him, iPad in hand, and turned it to him, stone cold.
Sukuna sat up straighter and squinted at the screen, annoyed. You’d probably just made up some salacious rumour and spread it throughout your friend circles; or worse, you wanted revenge on him for something he probably definitely did. In that case, Sukuna could somewhat understand. But still–
(Name) putting on weight? What’s happening to the former bombshell babe of Japan?!
Pregnant with a baby boy?! The secret's out!
(Name) returns to the stage after giving birth to a baby boy–but who is the father?
(Name) driving a Ryoumen Sukuna rescue vehicle?! Could he be the deadbeat dad we've been looking for?
Sukuna sucked his teeth after skimming over the article titles presented to him.
“...No proof.”
“Ah. Then please explain this,” Uraume requested, still polite as ever, as they flicked to an additional few images the scumbag paparazzi had caught of you.
One was the car mentioned. Sukuna remembered it like it was yesterday–the joy of restoring a Porsche 911 back into its former glory was unmatched. You happily paid for all the parts and too often swung by to see the progress being made on the old thing. Obviously, Sukuna was more than happy to oblige.
The next was of you holding a little nugget of a baby against your chest as you walked down a street in Shibuya. Nothing too damning, nothing too inspirational.
But the last one–
“The fuck?” Sukuna mumbled as he snatched the iPad from Uraume’s hands and zoomed in on the now-toddler sitting with you in that damn Porsche, grinning brightly beside his mum while you ruffled his hair. His very, very pink hair.
Sukuna took a breath while he thought. He didn't have to think too hard, though, not when he still dreamed about you and the short-lived fling between the two of you.
“A Porsche 911, huh?” Sukuna grinned as he looked over the rusted beater of a car. He could still see scraps of its former glory, of the beautiful thing she used to be. Heaven knows she would've become an irreparable hunk of junk if you hadn't bought it from a scrapyard.
“Yep.” You beamed. “So you think you can make her pretty again?”
“You kidding? I'd pay you to let me fix this thing, baby.” Sukuna caught sight of your security stepping forward, but you waved them off without a second thought.
Sukuna smirked. “But it’s not gonna be cheap.”
You nodded. “Well, do what you have to. I'll pay whatever you need, handsome.”
“Yeah?” Sukuna asked, looking your neatly-manicured appearance up and down; you were dressed like you were meeting someone of great importance (and you were, obviously), with your hair groomed perfectly, outfit fit for a premiere, skin flawless.
“Mhm. And I tip well.” you looked him up and down in kind, grinning as you bit at the nub of your sunglasses.
“Done.”
Every time you came to check on his progress, genuine excitement flooding in your motormouthed words, you'd go home with him and fuck him silly.
And now, you were the momma to his baby. Allegedly.
“I–so what the fuck does this have to do with anything?” Sukuna ran a frustrated hand through his hair after Uraume took the tablet back. “Bitch isn't asking for anything, he's not asking me to be his public fucking baby daddy, not asking me to pay for nothing?”
“No,” Uraume conceded, “But he and his PR managers have reached out concerning this.”
The man groaned and stood. “Fucking hell. Can't stand fucking PR teams. The fuck did they want?”
“They want to make a statement about Touma's father.”
Sukuna froze.
“Touma's a good name for a boy, right?”
You asked the question so suddenly, so out of nowhere in the quiet of the afterglow. The city lights sparkled and winked at you both through the towering windows keeping you safe from the outside world. In hindsight, Sukuna would wonder if the city was excited for him. For you.
“What, for a mutt?” Sukuna drawled, puffing on a blunt while he played with your hair and drowned in the tingles left in the wake of fingers drawing circles on his bare chest.
“For a kid,” you chastised with a laugh. “I like Touma. Or Touka for a girl. Ayato's nice, too. Maybe Kazue.”
“You better not be pregnant.”
“I'm not, I'm not. I'm just getting baby fever, I guess.” You hummed and left a sweet kiss against his tan skin. “I guess being around a big, bad boy like you's got me feeling domestic.”
Sukuna laughed, dazed and happy. “You wanna ruin this pretty lil’ body for a fucking kid? Be my guest. Just don't come looking for a booty call after you've ruined yourself like that.”
“Oh, don't worry,” you cooed. “I won't.”
Man. Man.
“A statement.”
“In other words–”
“I'm not the fucking father.”
“This might be a good way to get Yorozu off your case,” Uraume suggested, and Sukuna perked up.
“Right. She fuckin’ hates kids.”
“So, if you were to have a son, and it's revealed you've been quietly trying to make things work behind the scenes with (Name), then hypothetically–”
“I'll take the runt.”
Truth is out–Ryoumen Sukuna is the father, (Name) tells fans on social media!
Sukuna hated seeing that shit. The circus celebrities had to dance through used to be funny until he somehow got swept up into it. Until he suddenly had a baby boy that looked so much like him and so much like you.
He spent too much time on your socials, scrolling through promotion posts and photos of you at red carpet events and premieres–and then he remembered you had a private account. One that you said he could follow. One that he never followed.
Sukuna rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling as he sulked in bed. Was he really about to sacrifice his pride for this? Was he seriously gonna request to follow your personal account just moments after articles dropped and tweets were sent about him being the baby daddy? Could his pride take it?
Fuck me. This shit is highschool.
He requested to follow, and not even a minute later, you approved it.
That had him interested. Did you want him to follow? Did you want him to be part of his little guy's life? Were you feeling a rush of anxiety and excitement like he was right now?
“Get over it, you fucking idiot,” he mumbled to himself before scrolling through your photos.
There was so much more here. So many photos of you pregnant, of Touma when he was so ridiculously itty bitty, of when you were recovering in the hospital, looking worn out and exhausted, but still beaming as you held your little boy.
There were photos of his first birthday and the cute…rustic cake you'd apparently made yourself. Your agent, Getou, was there, as was one of your fellow agency mates, Gojo, along with some other folks Sukuna did and didn't recognize.
Of course, his boy–your boy lit up the centre, eyes glittering with the reflection of sparklers and the warmth of a good, safe home. He was happy. The boy–his boy–your boy was happy.
Then he called you. He couldn't help it, not anymore.
Sukuna paced around his penthouse, sipping on his spiked coffee and trying to desperately control his…nerves? Alpha instincts? Excitement? Fuck, he didn't know. But he was full of whatever it was, and it drove him nuts.
“Hi!” You answered as you picked up, so full of life as usual. “Been a while. How're you? What's up?”
Sukuna felt so, so old suddenly. Why were you so awake in the morning?
“Think you can spare some of that pep in your step for me?” Sukuna asked. He smiled when he heard you laugh on the other line. “Dunno how the hell you're so awake in the morning.”
“Well, I don't party or work on cars until the crack of dawn,” you purred back, so sweet and teasing. Sukuna almost got hard. Ugh. Ugh. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Hah? What, you sayin’ I'm irresponsible ‘n make shitty choices, babe?”
“Absolutely.”
“Tch. Omegas.”
You snickered again before cutting to the chase: “So, you're calling about my Touma?”
Sukuna swallowed. “Yeah. Gotta say I'm pretty fucking confused.”
“Yeah, I get it.” He heard you shift in bed, triggering a rumble of grumpy noises from your little one. You hushed him gently and apologized before the small, crackly purring resumed faintly in the background. The thought made Sukuna's heart ache.
“What do you wanna know?”
Sukuna inhaled deeply. “Why'd you keep it?”
“I wanted him,” you said. “Next question.”
“...When did you know?”
“Mmh…I guess about a week or two after we stopped hooking up.”
“And you didn't say shit?”
You went silent for a moment, and Sukuna felt his nerves tingle and prick. He wasn't anxious. He wasn't feeling betrayed. It wasn't any of that. Absolutely not.
“I guess I got cold feet,” you admitted. “I don't--I know how many baby daddy accusations you get, y'know? I didn't want you to think I was just trying to get you to pay me out or something.”
Oh. Okay. That made sense, actually.
Too many omegas and women Sukuna fucked around with pointed the finger at him if they caught some sort of STI or fell pregnant; even if it was months after fucking, Sukuna would be suspected of fathering the pregnancy of a newly-pregnant, ex-partner he hadn't seen in eternities, and the media would run to the ends of the earth with it. He was the infamous bad boy the media circuit loved to prey on. And Sukuna didn't really care for it–not until now. Not until those fucks ruined his opportunity to be a dad.
“Fucking–” Sukuna sighed and put his mug down to rub his face. “Shit. Shit. Fucking media bastards. Fuck.”
“I need to get my car tuned,” you said.
Sukuna deadpanned. “Read the fucking room, babe, we're not–”
“Do you want me to bring Touma?” You finished, undeterred by the alpha's grouchiness. “So you can meet him? I think he'd like that.”
Oh. Oh. Ouch. His heart–was Sukuna about to die? Why'd his chest hurt so much? What the fuck?
Sukuna cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “I–yeah? Yeah. Alright.”
“Okay, cool. When's your next–”
“Tomorrow.” He cleared his throat again and scratched at the back of his neck. “Any time.”
You stifled a laugh poorly. “Don’t be nervous, Sukuna.”
“M'not. Fuck you.”
“I can do tomorrow. Let's saaay…1pm?”
“Yeah, sure. 1pm.”
You rolled up at 12:59pm.
Sukuna had the garage open, everything tidy and ready to go like he actually gave a fuck about tuning your car when his literal fucking son was about to be in his presence. But he was so not nervous. Definitely not fucking nervous. Nope. Nuh-uh. Never.
You stepped out of the car and Sukuna felt his heart jump; you looked the same as you did last time he saw you. You were dressed more casually, though, done up in joggers and runners with a university hoodie to top it all off. Clearly, you didn't care to impress today.
You threw Sukuna an easy smile before pulling open the back door and taking care in plucking your chubby bunny from his car seat. All the while, Sukuna wandered closer and closer, but maintained a respectful distance just in case your momma bear came out to bite. He knew you had an impressive temper when your easy-going self got pushed too far, and he would rather not bring that out right now.
“Pa!” Your son yipped as soon as he got up into your arms. “Puh Pa!”
You melted immediately, punching Sukuna in the gut with your happy scent of maple syrup and cardamom as the little one nuzzled up to you, repeating variants of “pa!” as he rubbed his chubby cheeks and snotty nose against your neck and face to get that perfect scent onto him.
“You're so sweet, bunny,” you cooed and adjusted him in your arms as you met Sukuna the rest of the way. “Hey, hey! So, did you want to meet him first, or–?”
Sukuna didn't know what the fuck to do, honestly.
“I, uh. Car shit first. What needs tuning?” He drawled, watching the pup clinging to you with rapt attention.
Admittedly, Sukuna didn't really pay attention to what you were saying and what you were gesturing to; he was too captivated by the faint wisps of scent he caught from your little one. He smelled of smoke and syrup–a perfect combination of his parents’ scents.
And he just looked so much like the both of you. Touma's skin tone tilted more your direction, but the glowy, bronzey quality that Sukuna brought to the table still shone through in its own weird way. His eyes were almond-shaped like his own, but bore the same, welcoming colour of yours. And, fuck, his hair was just a perfect match to Sukuna's. If the little shit got Maori tattoos too, he'd be a tiny carbon copy.
Damn. Speaking of–would his mom wanna meet the little shit? Her grandson? Would she ever bother leaving Hawaii to–
“You get all that?” You asked.
Sukuna stared at you. “Get what?”
You pursed your lips like you so often did and turned to the big, bad alpha.
“Maybe we should do the meet ‘n greet first, huh?” You swayed a little and kissed Touma awake. “Baby, you wanna meet a friend?”
“Buh!” Touma exclaimed. You gently guided his little face to look at Sukuna, and the boy looked star struck staring up at the absolute unit that was Ryoumen Sukuna.
“Touma, this is Sukuna.” You closed the gap between the two of you a little more, and Sukuna leaned down to look at the little one. His little one.
Sukuna twitched a smile as he looked over the little thing. “You sure this thing’s mine? Looks a little small.”
You laughed. “If you were born as big as you are, I’m so, so sorry for your mother.” You nuzzled Touma’s little cheek and bounced him a little.
“Wuh!” Touma’s little arms flew up towards Sukuna, and the towering man looked a little more than nervous, looking at the tiny pudgy hands like they were deadly weapons.
“Come on, don’t look at him like that.” You took Sukuna’s hand and delivered it to Touma. “He’s curious. He hasn’t met anyone as big and tall as you, y’know?”
Sukuna huffed, but let the little one grab at his fingers and hold his hand. “What, you don’t have another alpha looking after you? Hard to believe that. You're the neediest little bitch I know.”
“Stop. I'm not Yorozu,” you huffed, and Sukuna cringed at the name. “He has alphas around, sure. But not big ones like you–security excluded. It's not like other men want to play nice with another alpha's pup.”
Sukuna caught the hint of a frown on your face, and his hackles started to rise.
“Some dumbfuck giving you grief?” Sukuna asked, voice rolling with thunderous promise. He'd kill whatever moron fucked with you and his pup. You just had to drop the name.
You sighed, light-hearted. “You know what the rich and famous are like--we're the worst.”
Sukuna growled, and Touma mimicked the noise as best as he could with his pathetically teeny tiny crackled voice. Fuckin’ cute as shit.
“Tch. Don't sell yourself short.”
“I'm just trying to say I don't need that around my boy, and I sure as hell don't want it around me, either.” You nodded and stepped closer as Touma reached up for Sukuna again. Apparently just holding his hand wasn't doing it for the boy anymore.
“Good. Don't need those pathetic fucks around the runt–oi, wait, what the fuck're you–”
“Wup, wup!” Your son shrieked as you helped bully Sukuna into holding him.
“He wants uppies.”
“Uppies,” Sukuna balked.
“He wants you to–okay, you're bad at this–don't hold him like that! Here, do it like–” you cut off as you helped Sukuna get a comfortable hold on Touma while the littlest one squirmed and squeaked in delight, trying to climb up onto Sukuna's shoulder but failing miserably.
Sukuna twitched a smile as you sighed, exasperated by the ball of energy trying to scale the mountainous man. But he got a hold of him, tucking his arm under his butt and holding his back to make sure the little shit didn't go plummeting to the floor.
“You give your ma hell, huh? I can get behind that,” Sukuna hummed. His son's little hands papped at his face, grabbing at his nose and jaw–specifically over the dark tattoos streaking along the curves and cut of his features.
And you smiled the entire time. You pursed your lips tightly to hide it, but you did it so poorly. You always did. Maybe it was on purpose.
“So, can I tell you about my car problems now?”
Sukuna held onto his runt while you explained what flaws, either cosmetically or mechanically, were bothering you. It mostly consisted of slight dents from other assholes not knowing how to park, paint scratches, and more of that sort. As a fellow car guy, Sukuna could understand the anguish of having a favourite baby get all dinged up.
“Not hard to fix,” Sukuna decided. He held the hood up with one hand and looked over the motor–everything looked clean and well-maintained. He was almost impressed. “But, well, it'll cost ya. Uraume can send the details.”
You nodded. “Sure, sure, sounds good. I'm never taking this thing on the road again after it's fixed. Too many fucking idiots out there with piss poor driving skills.”
The mechanic smirked. “Ho? So beating up your car is what makes you start cussin’, huh? Noted.” He let the hood fall closed and adjusted his hold on the now-sleeping tot. “Couldn't even get you to do that in bed.”
“Psht, don't say that in front of the baby, Sukuna, jeeze,” you sighed and rubbed your face. “Babies remember more than you'd like to know.”
“Huh. You think he'll remember when he got–”
“No, he won't remember his inception.” You laughed and shook your head, but paused when you saw smears of concealer on your fingers and tutted.
“How long's the car gonna take? Should I get a rental?” You asked before the man could comment.
“Probably, if you want me to detail this thing right,” Sukuna mumbled. He reached out and turned your chin back to him, looking at the spots concealer missing, hinting at dark circles under your eyes.
Your face grew hot, but you nodded and cleared your throat. “Yeah, okay. I'll, uh. I'll call someone to pick us up–”
“I'll take you home.”
You brightened the slightest bit. “Yeah? I–okay.” You pulled his hand from your face and smiled. “I'll grab the car seat.”
Sukuna liked your house. It was a nice mix of traditional and modern with large stretches of woodgrain and bamboo. A neat outdoor garden and pond decorated the front, but a bigger, more lush collection of tropical plants greeted guests. It was beautiful, if one was desperate to be in nature.
“I'm just gonna get him to bed, be one second.”
Sukuna nodded and pocketed his hands as he pretended to not watch you trot upstairs with the sleepy cub melting in your arms. You still had a nice ass even after popping that little melon out. Huh.
He looked around your space more, wandering with slow, lumbering steps. The house wasn't huge by any means, but it was cozy and warm, quiet and hidden away from the city's gaze. That was probably why you chose it–here, you could be honest with yourself. You could shield your babe from the brutality of your career and keep him safe from leering eyes. Honestly, one of the leaves on your giant monstera could hide him from the whole universe.
Guy's too obsessed with growing shit. It ticked him off, but he didn't know why.
Maybe it was all the photos of you and Touma. Maybe it was because he wasn't in them and too many other men were in his place, lining your walls in the protection of cheap IKEA frames–but Sukuna didn't want you. No, no, Ryoumen Sukuna did not want anyone. He didn't want you. He didn't need to settle down and–
“You want a glass of wine?” You asked when you came back down the stairs. “It's plum wine. Don't really have any scotch or anything, but I–”
Sukuna scoffed before a mocking laugh slipped out of him. You paused, looking at him with bleak attention as he shook his head and pocketed his hands. Your request for him to stay pissed him off; clearly, you expected something more from him.
“Whaddaya think is gonna happen here, huh? You think we're gonna fall in love, pick up where we left off, have a happy little fuckin’ family to tell the tabloids about?”
“What?” You asked. “I never–”
“Didn't have to. Gotta admit, you did a better job than the rest of the whores that tried wrangling me in to–”
“All I asked,” you cut him off, voice quiet but firm, “Is if you wanted wine. I’m not proposing, Sukuna.”
Sukuna didn’t like that. The whole…not-being-into-him and not wanting him to stick around after he just shut you down. He sucked his teeth and took a breath, about to say something, but you spoke first.
“I know this is a PR thing. I know how the whole media circus works–you want your ex to stop bothering you, and I want people to stop asking questions about who the fucking father of my son is.” You paused, staring Sukuna dead in his eyes, a quiet, simmering rage boiling just beneath the surface of placid control.
“Call my manager when the car’s done,” you decided, sounding beaten down and exhausted. “I’ll send someone for it. Thanks for the ride home.”
Next thing the man knew, he was ushered toward the door and stood in the doorway, stuck on the idea of being kicked out of his omega’s–no, no, out of an omega’s house like he was trash.
“Fucking–wait, just–”
“What?” You snapped.
“I could–glass of wine doesn’t sound too bad–”
You shoved the bottle into his hands and slammed the door.
Sukuna tried to sleep it off–as in, he slept around to forget about the crushing weight of rejection collapsing down on him, shattering his chest, spearing his heart with shattered bone.
You still kept being so fucking nice to him, too. You never slandered him, never spoke ill whenever he was asked about in interviews–you spared his reputation with a kind smile every time you had to talk about him or to him.
And he was grateful for it, even if he didn't return the favor. It's not like he was on a smear campaign, no, but anytime a hook up would ask about you, he wouldn't give a glowing review, per se. But it wouldn't be scalding either. Just sheer indifference tainted with drops of bitterness stemming from unripe guilt.
It went on like that for months–until you did your parental duties, and set aside your feelings about Sukuna for the sake of your son.
“Uraume, get that,” Sukuna called as his phone rang. He was too busy fucking around under the hood of his latest project to wipe his hands free of grease and pick up himself, obviously.
But Uraume was there for a reason. They picked up the phone with a polite hello before their sharp frigidity melted into rounded edges.
“(Name)-san,” they hummed. “It's good to hear from you. Do you need to talk to Sukuna-san?”
Sukuna started wiping his hands off so unbelievably fast.
“He's working on a car right now. You know how he can be when he's focused.”
“Fucking–piece of shit–what the fuck–” somehow, he got even more grease and oil on his hands thanks to that stupid fucking rag. God, what a nightmare.
“Sure, I can take a message.”
“Fuckin’ shit fuck, fuck.” He wiped his hands on his designer jeans before running to Uraume and gesturing for the phone.
Uraume's brows raised, and they actually smiled.
“Ah, hold on, Sukuna-san's here.”
Sukuna snatched up the phone, ignoring the knowing look glimmering in Uraume’s eyes. Ugh. Ugh. Betas.
“Hey,” Sukuna said after clearing his throat.
“Hey! Ume said you were working on a car? You didn't have to stop to talk.”
“Yeah, well.” Sukuna shrugged to himself and kicked a scrapped car part, sending it skittering across the ground and clanking into other parts. Jesus, when did his shop get so messy? “Needed a break anyway.”
“Ah. You work too hard, you need to take breaks more often,” you laughed sweetly. “So, listen, Touma's birthday's coming up–”
“Shit, seriously?” Sukuna grinned and kicked another chopped part. “Fuck. How old's the little shit turning?”
“Two! He's growing up so fast, I wish I could slow down time and–” you paused and laughed, suddenly sounding unsure and a bit nervous. “Sorry, sorry, was about to go on a tangent. Anyway, there is a little get-together, but you don't have to come. Satoru and Toji'll be there. But your brother and his son'll be there, too, so it won't suck completely.
“Otherwise, if you want to come see him earlier or something, that's fine, and–and you're not cutting me off and I didn't think I'd get this far so I'm losing the plot.”
Sukuna huffed. “What, you don't want me to fuckin’ listen, huh?”
“I know you will since I have such a pretty voice, but I'm surprised you're being a good boy for once.”
The mechanic rolled his eyes and rubbed his face. Who knows if it was to wipe away embarrassment or fatigue.
“You’re exhausting.”
“And you’re a dick.” There was a special brand of teasing bitterness behind those words, but the vibes were balanced perfectly; seemed you were still cranky about what he said, but you were willing to let it slide.
Sukuna chuckled, relaxing the slightest bit. “Alright. I don't know what the fuck kids like at that age, but I'll figure somethin’ out. I can at least show up Jin.”
“Wow.”
“Text me time and place. I'll be there.” After a moment, he added, “I’ll bring some plum wine. Fancy shit.”
The hidden rumble of a purr snuck its way out from your side, and Sukuna did everything he could to suppress his alpha's reciprocation.
“Sounds good. See you then, Sukuna.”
Toji answered the door.
“Hah. Why the hell are you here?” The fuckhead ex-Zenin asked with a stupid, shitty smirk on his dumbass face.
Sukuna strained not to throw the first punch. He really shouldn't murder someone at his--your son's birthday party. Murder is bad. Murder is bad.
“Fuck you.” Hey, at least it wasn't murder. “‘M here for my fucking kid.”
Toji crossed his arms and suddenly looked beyond bored as he leaned against the doorframe.
“Your kid? You mean (Name)’s kid?” He wondered, putting on a show of thinking. “Weird.”
“You're one to talk. You forgetting what you did to your own brat? You fuckin’--”
“Sukuna!” Your sweet voice called, instantly changing the atmosphere. “Glad you came. Do you–oi, Toji, move, stop bodyguarding. You're not a bouncer.”
“Eh?” Toji stayed in his spot as you smacked at his arm and tried to push him away. “I'm just standing here. Not bodyguarding. Minding my business.”
“You’re so full of shit.” You wheezed and squeaked as the man suddenly gave way, nearly making you crash into him and plummet to the floor. But you caught yourself and hissed at the dark-haired menace until he whistled innocently and waltzed away.
“Fucking--why’s he here again?” Sukuna grumbled as you let him in. He leaned down to nose at your cheek with a grumpy, quiet grunt--typical greeting procedures for an interested individual or bonded pair. But the way you choked on whatever you were about to say meant he must've caught you off guard.
“He's uh–we work together. We've worked together? He was the stunt coordinator for some movies I've been in.” You cleared your throat and took the present bag from Sukuna to place with the others. “And I babysit Gumi sometimes.”
“Gumi? What the fuck is a Gumi?”
“Megumi? His son?” Oh. Oh. “I babysit Yuuji too, so. Thick as thieves, y'know?”
Sukuna nodded a little, thinking hard on the lore. He liked that Yuuji was taken care of by you, but surely that wretched Gumi could go somewhere else. Toji was probably just leeching off of you.
“Oi, Momma, get in here,” Toji crowed from wherever all the baby giggles and excitement bubbled from in the house. “Your boys need some maternal guidance–”
“Toji, don't make it weird!” Jin whisper-yelled before going on a long-winded rant about this and that, about proper behaviour and attitudes in front of children (not that the kids were paying attention to anything Toji did).
You gave Sukuna a tired smile. “Come on. It won’t be that bad, I promise.”
Sukuna sighed, but let you drag him to his demise, bottle of wine in-hand.
But it wasn’t that bad. Not really.
Your other boys, Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru, showed up and showered tiny Touma with way too much praise and far too many gifts, but the little shit looked so pleased that Sukuna couldn’t get too annoyed. Shoko and Uraume came by, too, much to Sukuna’s surprise. Uraume brought with them a whole fucking confectionary cake they’d crafted themselves at home. Gojo obsessed over it and Getou tried to reign him in to no avail.
And the night went on. No one talked shit, not unless it was in good fun, no one got fucking hammered, no one talked about work–it was all about the kids. Nothing else. No one else.
Sukuna could never guess just how far that truth went.
When everyone left for the night, the alpha could start to see the edges of your smile fraying. But you held on, thanking everyone for the gifts and for showing up for Touma, and especially thanking Jin for offering to let all the little ones spend the night at his place (you and Toji would forever be in his debt).
Then, when the door closed and all fell silent, he heard you cry.
Sukuna didn't know what to do about people crying. He never had. Even when he was a kid, he had a hard time trying to comfort people with hugs and words of reassurance–he just couldn't do it.
“It's okay,” he heard you whisper. “It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. It's okay. I'm okay.”
Sukuna got up and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. “Sure about that?”
You jumped and clasped a hand over your mouth to stifle your scream. Sukuna barked out an ugly, reedy laugh while he defended himself from your petty smacks and pinches.
“You scared the fuck out of me–why're you still even here? Go home! Shoo!” You wiped your eyes once you were done harassing him and turned away, busying yourself with cleaning up dishes and wrapping paper left in the aftermath.
Sukuna followed you idly, a shit-eating grin still plastered on his face. What could he say? He loved seeing you get all petty and riled up. But he didn't love seeing you cry. He didn't love seeing you try to stealthily wipe tears away, to try and steady your shaky breathing.
“What’s going on with you, babe?” Sukuna asked as he settled beside you at the sink.
“It's nothing,” you said with a snuffle. “It's seriously nothing. Sorry, I--you don't need to stay. Or anything.” You sighed and rubbed at your eyes with your sleeve. “You've done your fatherly duties. You're free to leave.”
“Yeah? ‘N what about my baby daddy duties?” He wondered, voice so horribly low and comforting, like the buzzing crackle of a campfire.
You laughed, watery and shaky. “You already did everything you needed to, Sukuna.”
“Come on, don't cockblock me like that.” He gently tilted your Chin his way to catch your eyes just like he had back at the shop all those months ago. “Look at me.”
You did. Your eyes were red and irritated, whatever pretty boy make up you wore was wiped off and smudged, and those heavy, dark bags met the light in front of someone else for the first time in a long time.
You still had the gall to laugh it off and pull Sukuna's hand from your face with a small, “I'm fine,” though.
“Then why the hell are you crying?” He asked.
You squeezed his hand with both of yours. “Things are just…hard. Overwhelming.”
Sukuna nodded a bit. “That why Jin took the runts tonight?”
“Yeah. Needed some time, I guess.” You snuffled and wiped your face with both hands before finishing up with cleaning. “Makes me sound like a shit parent, I know.”
Sukuna couldn’t disagree more. “Least you're not flipping out on the kid. That'd be way shittier, yeah?”
“I don't know. I guess, but–yeah. I don't know.”
Sukuna sighed and scooped you up like a new bride. “You're driving me fucking mental.”
“Sukuna–!”
“Quiet.” Your omega indeed piped down at the grouchy command, and you shyly let the man carry you up the steps to find your bedroom. “You're getting some damn rest. You look like shit.”
You grumbled something Sukuna elected to ignore in favour of tossing you onto a bed the way one might lob a stone into a pond. You landed with a warbled squawk and looked at Sukuna with horribly accusatory, baffled eyes.
Sukuna quirked a brow as he looked down on you, gladly using his broad build and tall stature to secure your submission. And it worked; the aggravated spark in your eyes curled up and fell silent after a few long seconds. Your head lowered just the slightest bit, too, but your passive gaze remained stuck on him, waiting for his next move.
“Fine,” you grumbled.
Sukuna raised his brows and eased onto the bed, caging you underneath him with his solid frame. Your scent flickered with shy playfulness, and Sukuna relished in it.
“How do I know you're gonna obey, omega?”
“I guess you don't. Not for certain,” you admitted begrudgingly.
“Tch. Someone's gotta keep you accountable then, huh?” He nosed at your neck, nearly letting his lips touch your neck but refusing to do so in the same instance. “Make sure you're doing the right thing, make sure you're behaving.”
One of his hands squeezed at your soft thigh before inching up little by little. Your hands found themselves in his hair as he teased at your joggers’ waistband, pulling the elastic taut before letting it go.
“Sukuna,” you laughed, sounding a little breathless. “I, uh–I thought you said–”
“Changed my mind.”
“But–”
“Forget what I said and let me make you cum on my fingers, brat.”
Oh. Well, hard to argue against that.
You swallowed but gave a meek nod. He ripped your bottoms off and felt up your blazing skin with rough, calloused hands, groping and grabbing in the same spots he liked back when you were hooking up: your thighs, your hip bones, the squish of your stomach. As much as the man harped on about not wanting “damaged goods,” he sure worshiped your body like it was brand new, untouched.
Sukuna brought his fingers to your mouth, and you took them with utmost compliance. Your tongue worked against his digits thoughtfully and thoroughly for your own sake–a lack of starter lube wouldn't end well, after all. And Sukuna was not the most patient man in the sack.
“See?” Sukuna crowed into your ear as his hand traveled south and a finger sunk into you. “It's not so bad to just behave, now is it?”
You already felt like you were about to explode, and Sukuna savoured It. He liked being the one to do this to you–the only one for a while, considering how tight and sensitive you were. Any little push or prod inside you brought sweet sighs and soft moans to the surface–and a second and third finger had your hips bucking and your nails digging into his shoulder and back as he finger-fucked you to oblivion while still caging you in.
“Good omega,” he cooed. “Gonna cum already, huh? Tch, you shoulda said no one’s been taking care of you; I would’ve taken my parental responsibilities more seriously.” His lips and teeth landed on your neck, as you curled up into him, body tensing, heels digging into the mattress, panting and gasping getting louder and faster. The sound made his pants strain even more.
“Fuck, you smell fucking good. Better than when I fucked you the first time.”
“I-I forgot you talked so much in bed,” you managed out. “Could you just–shut up?”
Sukuna growled, and you whined. “You want me to shut up, huh? You wanna listen to your slick fucking hole getting spread open, plowed into? You miss me that much, omega?”
“No.” You hissed and clung to his upper arm as he somehow managed to take it up a notch, slipping his fourth finger in and spreading you obscenely wide.
“I think you did. Think you were hopin’ I’d come around, plow you into the bed again, stuff you full like no one else can.”
“Sukuna–”
“I’ll fill this hole up all you want, baby–I’ll even stuff another pup in you. Twins. You want that, huh? You gonna be my omega from now on? Creaming on my cock ‘n fingers the way you shoulda been the day you walked your perfect, little ass into my life?”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up–” you choked on a gasp and bit into his shoulder, soaking his shirt with drool and shuddered mewls while your body tightened and ecstasy hit like the weight of Sukuna’s words–brutal, fast, honest.
Sukuna moaned in sympathy, ignoring the way his hand and arm cramped and ached to keep pistoning into you and draw out your high. He couldn't help it–something about you drove him mad in that moment. It could have been how you made his ego swell, it might've been the way his greed needed your slick staining his and only his skin, perhaps it could have been a quiet yearning coming from his lonely, hollow alpha. He didn't know. But he didn't question it.
Your body started to relax with the death grip you had on his shoulder as you came down from the sudden, electric high. Your hips still jolted with every slow, lazy push into your soft hole, though a haze of purring and cooing filled the spot where gasps and moans once did. Eventually, you melted off of him and collapsed onto your back, looking as content as a cat lounging in the sun.
“Oi, oi, you're not done yet, sweetheart.” But if you said you were done, he might've listened. Just that once.
You hummed something as you looked up at him, eyes doey and so egregiously lovey-dovey.
“That's a nice face. Make sure you save it just for me,” Sukuna gently commanded, and you laughed.
“Demanding. I thought you didn't like used goods.”
Sukuna scowled. “Shut up.” His free hand traced the stripes of stretched skin left in the wake of bearing his baby boy. “I like ‘em when they're used by me.”
“Does that really make them ‘used goods,’ then?” You murmured as if speaking logic too loud would break Sukuna's entranced obsession of you.
But maybe, maybe, you had a point.
“Guess I'll have to think on that.” His fingers slipped out of you and he gave you a wet slap on the ass to wake you up. Your subsequent squeak sure as hell woke Sukuna up.
“Ow. Gross.”
“I'm not finished with you, brat. Don't get too fuckin’ content, yeah?” He smirked when you glanced at his crotch expectantly. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Please.”
Sukuna sighed and settled between your legs as he futzed with his belt and button. “Could put up a bit of a fight.”
“Too tired.” You yawned and stretched with a pleased sigh. “No will to argue.”
The alpha leaned down to bite at your knee, and you pulled your legs together to avoid his chunky, rude fangs. You knew he'd delight in making you bleed or leaving dark bruises. He was the worst.
“Still got a little fight left in ya,” Sukuna said with a grin. “Let's see how much more we can find, hm?”
#male reader insert#sukuna x you#sukuna x m!reader#jjk#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#reader insert#ryoumen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk smut#jjk x male reader#jjk x y/n#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryoumen x reader#itadori sukuna x reader
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Hello ! How you doing ?
I noticed that your requests are open, so i'm gonna yap about my favorite Winged Hero: Keigo !
I always think about reader being in a relationship with Hawks, but she feels like she doesn't really belong with him. He is famous, popular and very loved by his fans, meanwhile she likes to live a calm life, only talking and getting involved if someone reaches for her first.
Reader intends to break up with him, but his bird brain got a different message about it: he thinks she just needs more attention and more courting gifts.
So now reader has a collection of shiny rocks, lots of scented blankets and shirts, and a nonstop whistling Keigo around her.
I just really love the idea of Hawks tagging himself as a No refund Partner 🤭
(Feel free to ignore this, if you don't like it. Sending you lots of love, your writting is amazing 🥰)
No Refunds!
FEATURING Keigo 'Hawks' Takami i x Reader
SUMMARY You fear that Keigo's fast-paced life is too much for you and try to take a step back, but it doesn't seem to work out that well for you. It's just too bad Keigo doesn't believe in refunds.
CONTENT WARNINGS quiet reader, hawks being a literal bird
AUTHORS NOTE hope you all enjoy more of our feather-winged hero because, based on these requests, y'all can't seem to get enough of him!
You’d imagined this moment for weeks—a careful plan to untangle yourself from the wings of a man who seemed to live a world apart from your own. Keigo’s life was a loud one, a kaleidoscope of flashing lights, bright interviews, fans hanging on his every word and movement. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he belonged somewhere out there, in the heart of the storm, while you were left holding onto calmness, craving quiet.
So you’d practiced your words, rehearsed in the mirror, hoping to explain it gently: Keigo, you’re amazing, but I don’t fit into this life. You deserve someone who can keep up, who thrives under a spotlight.
But as you sat across from him in the dimly lit corner of your apartment, watching him devour his meal with an unshakable confidence, all those carefully chosen phrases began to slip away. The man was impossible to ignore, so vividly alive in his unbridled energy, his mouth curling into a familiar, teasing grin every time he caught you looking. It was like trying to capture a gust of wind in your hand—the moment you thought you had him pinned, he shifted, always a step ahead, eyes twinkling with that irreverent humor that made your heart ache.
“Keigo, I just…” you began, feeling your courage falter under his steady gaze. He didn’t miss a beat, his fork pausing in midair as he gave you his full attention.
“Go on,” he said, his voice low but attentive, his eyes narrowing with a glint of curiosity that warned you he wasn’t going to let anything slide by unnoticed.
You took a breath, trying to anchor yourself. “I just… sometimes I feel like I don’t really belong in your world,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.
The words hung in the air, and Keigo stared at you, unblinking, as if you’d just told him something in a language he didn’t quite understand. After a moment, he let out a soft chuckle, eyes shining with that familiar, playful disbelief. “You? Not belong with me?” He shook his head, leaning back in his seat with that cocky, amused grin that somehow melted the tension in the room. “I don’t buy that, not for a second.”
Your heart twisted painfully, but before you could explain, he shifted closer, closing the space between you with the effortless grace of a hawk zeroing in on its mark. He tilted his head, studying you with an intensity that made your cheeks warm, a hint of softness underlying his typically mischievous gaze.
“Listen,” he said, his voice a soft murmur, “if you’re worried about keeping up with me, don’t be. You ground me, you know? Not everything has to be about the spotlight.” He leaned in, and his thumb brushed your cheek, a gentle, fleeting touch that left you breathless. “You’re my calm in all the chaos, you know that?”
Your resolve wavered, and all you could manage was a quiet nod before he kissed your cheek, lingering just long enough to leave a warmth behind. As he left that night, your mind kept replaying that look in his eyes—a flicker of vulnerability that felt strangely out of place on him.
The next morning, you woke to find something glinting on your bedside table. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, and there it was—a smooth, shining rock, no larger than your thumb, with flecks of gold swirling through its charcoal-gray surface. You reached for it slowly, as if it might vanish at any moment, the unexpected gift settling warm and solid in your palm.
A small folded note rested beside it, scrawled with Keigo’s messy handwriting: Something pretty, just like you! – K
You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up, though it came with a pang of sadness. So this was his response? He wasn’t angry or upset; instead, he left a little piece of beauty for you, something that made you feel strangely… cherished. As if he was whispering, See? You’re part of my world. I want you here.
If only he left it at that..
The next morning, as you opened your front door, you found a Hawks-branded bag stuffed with the coziest-looking items imaginable. Luxurious blankets, soft enough to melt in your fingers, with colors that reminded you of his wings—deep crimsons and warm golden yellows. There was a plush feather-shaped pillow tucked inside, soft and inviting, as if he’d tried to bottle the feeling of his own feathers just for you.
Another note, taped to the top of the bag: For when you want a cozy night in, courtesy of your favorite Winged Hero.
In a daze, you pulled the pillow out, feeling the way it seemed to form to your touch, soft and strangely comforting, like you were holding a part of him in your hands. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself, though it was tinged with disbelief. Hawks, your Keigo, was attempting to make your space his nest—one soft corner at a time.
You weren’t sure what to think. The gifts kept coming, like waves lapping persistently at the shore, never once relenting. Soon, you had a growing collection of glimmering stones, each unique in color, shape, and size. Some had ribbons tied around them, others were polished to a glassy sheen. By the end of the week, you could open your own boutique: Hawks’ Feathered Finds.
It was almost funny, in a way, how Keigo’s gift ideas seemed to expand. If the shiny stones weren’t enough to convince you of his commitment, the silky blankets and cozy pillows that soon followed would certainly drive the point home.
But as much as the blankets were a nice touch, that wasn’t enough either. No, Keigo’s gifts evolved in a way you hadn’t anticipated. Not satisfied with just leaving inanimate reminders of himself, he began to bring his own shirts, freshly washed and scented with that clean, faintly spicy cologne that was unmistakably his. Each time he left one, it felt like he was marking his presence all over again. When you came home one day to find three different button-ups hanging over your chair, neatly folded with another note—“So you won’t miss me too much”—you realized how completely he’d misunderstood your meaning.
And it didn’t stop there.
You started hearing bird calls, from sharp whistles to melodic chirrups, each one distinct and practiced. They’d come at random times during your day, clear and unmistakable, carrying across rooftops or echoing down quiet streets. Keigo would appear out of nowhere with a casual “Hey,” as if he hadn’t just called you over like a sparrow to its nest. Once, you looked out the window and spotted him standing on the rooftop opposite yours, watching you with that familiar spark of mischief in his eyes as he gave a gentle coo that made your cheeks flush.
Then there was the food. Keigo made it a habit to bring takeout on the evenings he knew you were working late, showing up with your favorite dishes and a grin that always promised a good story to go along with them. He’d kick off his shoes like he’d lived there forever, settling in as if he belonged, yet somehow always a little hesitant. You could tell he was waiting, looking at you as if searching for any sign that his gifts were having an effect.
Finally, one evening after he’d tucked a particularly soft blanket around you with all the precision of a nesting bird, you couldn’t help but ask, “What exactly are you doing, Keigo?”
He looked up from where he’d just finished arranging the folds of the blanket on your couch, his feathers twitching at your question. “What do you mean?” he asked, his amber eyes wide with feigned innocence.
“Keigo…” you said, trying to hold back a laugh as you gestured around your apartment, now cluttered with glistening stones, colorful feathers, and shirts that still carried his scent. “You’re… making a nest in my apartment.”
His wings fluttered, a small chuckle escaping as he scratched the back of his head. “Guess you could call it that.” He crossed over to where you sat, his gaze growing softer. “But I’m just making sure you know you’re not going anywhere.”
You shook your head, equal parts amused and bewildered. “I… I don’t think that’s how it works.”
Undeterred, Keigo leaned in, his head tilting down just slightly so his eyes met yours, the mischief in them mingling with something warmer, something that pulled at your heart. “Maybe not,” he murmured, his tone more serious than you’d ever heard. “But I don’t give up that easily. You don’t just get to decide you’re going to leave, y’know?”
A small pang tightened in your chest. How could someone like him, someone whose life glittered with fame and thrill, expect to keep someone like you by his side? Yet, looking into his eyes, you saw something deeper, even a little vulnerable, as his thumb traced soft circles over your hand.
“Keigo… I’m not…” you began, trying to find the words. “I just… sometimes I feel like I’m not cut out for this, like I don’t belong in this world of yours.”
He watched you for a long moment, his gaze gentle but unwavering. “Sweetheart,” he said softly, his wings rustling, “you’re not holding me back. You’re the calm in my storm. And I’m not about to let that slip away.” His hand tightened around yours just slightly. “Besides, I never heard any rule about ‘no refunds’ not applying to relationships. So guess what? You’re stuck with me.”
You looked around, taking in the stones, the blankets, the shirts—this strange, feathered haven he’d created around you, like a nest meant just for the two of you. You hadn’t realized you’d been dating an actual bird until now, and it hit you with a surprising warmth, a feeling that maybe, just maybe, you did belong here after all.
TAGLIST
@surielstea
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#dee's asks#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#hawks mha#bnha hawks#hawks x reader#hawks#mha hawks#keigo takami#takami keigo#keigo tamaki#mha takami keigo#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#mha keigo takami#hawks x you#hawks x y/n#keigo takami x reader#bnha x reader
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roommate!billie au [pt. 1??]
warnings: reader is described to be sorta feminine (this is self indulgent… and maybe a bit true for some people not for gracie tho👀🫢??????? pls let me indulge in my college fantasy’s😭)
an: i was inspired by all the au’s that have little blurbs within them as well as just headcannons and thought what a fun way to write some stories in one story! so, credit to whoever started doing these!!🥳🥳 (someone pls in the comment tell me who it was so i can tag them properly and praise them for their creativity‼️‼️‼️)
roommate! billie, who seemed like a complete sweetheart over text all summer!!
she’s very close with her family, a music production major with a minor in songwriting, vegan, has a dog named shark, originally from the LA area, and just all around good vibes.
roommate! billie, who moved in first, leaving you surprised to see a half decorated room when you arrive with your own crew.
she was respectful of your side of the room. hers was decorated with vintage music posters, soft lighting, a guitar in the corner, a keyboard where her desk would be, photos of presumably her family and friends, it looked fun! cozy!!
roommate! billie, who made your heart drop when she walked into the room after returning from saying goodbye to her family.
you saw some photos from her instagram post on the incoming freshmen page, but my god real life was so different. she had the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen, perfectly placed freckles decorating her cheeks, a slight sunburn from her recent beach trip, fiery red hair at the roots, pink pillowy lips.. pillowy?? what a weird thing to think…..
roommate! billie, who insisted you both stay up all night chatting and getting to know each other since classes didn’t start till monday.
she has an older brother named finneas and basically a sister in law named claudia, she loves to hang out and vibe but isn’t a huge partier- but she won’t say no to one if the occasion arises- she wants to be a producer/songwriter when she grows up, she’s not labeled but she does like guys and girls…your heartbeat quickened at that thought.
she thought your side of the room was cute so far. soft y/f/c bedspread, a thousand of soft pillows, the cute fairy lights and photos tacked onto the wall. comfy slippers on the floor next to your slightly lofted bed, matching the fluffy step stool.
she had a glint in your eye that made you shy… it’s just because it’s the first day.. right?
roommate! billie, who found you adorable. she was hanging on your every word the whole night, laughing and smiling and enjoying getting to know you.
roommate! billie, who couldn’t fall asleep that night, and couldn’t help but notice how peaceful and cozy you looked across the room.
she giggled a bit at your zillion pillows propping you up, the eye mask covering your face, your matching pj set, the little humidifier glowing a soft purple “because blue light is bad for your eyes but blue is a calming color. so the purple adds in the red which cancels out some blue light and promotes sleepiness.” she bit her lip, hiding a smile at your yapping.
roommate! billie, who quickly became your best friend on campus, like so many roommates do. you both walked to the meal hall together with some of your other shared friends, you pregamed and went to parties together, you both studied and did homework in the library together, you name it and you’ve probably done it together.
… almost literally. one night after a party, billie had had one too many while claws leaving her tipsy as can be. after seeing her pound the last one, you opted for water the rest of the night knowing you’d be on mama bear duty when you got home.
you had her sat on her bed while you tried to get her changed into pjs.
“cheeky,” she slurred, smirking at you while you. got her top off.
“bils,” you giggled. “please just let me get you into pjs. you need to go to bed.”
“okayyyyy, but can i tell you a secret first?” she pouted up at you while you got an oversized tee over her head.
“what’s up?”
“y’so pretty,” she slurred with a big dreamy smile on her face. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, not knowing why you were blushing all of a sudden.
“and you’re drunk, missy.”
“m’serious!! thought so the first day we met. cute little matching athletic set on and your little ponytail,” she followed your guide and laid down on her side while you pulled her blanket up. “y’were so cute talking about your blue or purple sleepy lights.” her eyes drifted closed and before you knew it she was out like a light.
… why was your heart beating so fast?? why were you smiling so big? how did you get so sweaty???
before getting into bed you flipped your calendar to the next page.. it was only september…
#gracie eilish#billie eilish#wlw#fanfiction#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish fic#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie x you#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish smut#billie x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie x y/n#billie x fem reader
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˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧always a brat ˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧

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summary: no matter how hard he tries,megumi is always gonna be a spoiled brat that hates to share, especially when it's you he's sharing.
tags: megumi x fem/afab! reader, childhood friends to lovers, slight slight angst mostly cute fluff, flustered pining megumi, jealousy (cute), dad gojo, nanami is so cool (derogatory) this is me wanting cute megumi content bc i miss him too much. Honestly I gave a huge backstory about you and megumi's childhood LMAO enjoy
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It wasn't so long ago that a neurotic white haired lanky man showed up at your doorstep, alongside a bored, odd-haired child to explain curses, and the art of jujutsu sorcery.Yadayada some bad people were looking for you because you have a powerful gift yadayada Gojo can help nurture your talents and keep you from being caught by those bad people because he's a big strong guy who supposedly ruined the world (idk the freak kept yapping for so long) yadayada you may or may not die but you'll be helping people, and not have to be around mean family members who think you're weird for seeing scary monsters they don't believe are real. (showed them)
The whole time this child-highjacker was talking you couldn't help but stare at the young boy about your age hiding behind him, not really out of fear but of disinterest, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.
Gojo catching on concluded his speech and gestured towards Megumi,"Ah! This little handsome punk right here is Megumi Fushiguro another cute stray i've taken under my wing! You're probably about the same age, first grader? Sooo! I'm sure you're gonna be best friends in no time!" he yelled animatedly, smile wide and mischievous.
Megumi scoffed in response, turning and walking away to a nearby car. You gasped at how so blatantly rude he was to your face, your face painted with obvious irritation. At your reaction Gojo chuckled and reached down to ruffle your (h/c) hair presenting you with a thumbs up.
"Don't mind him, I've come learn he's naturally moody, like is that kid really six years old,..but i'm sure he'll come around...I mean he really has no choice as you two will be a team from now on. Anyways! Let's get you two something to eat..y'like kikufuku?!" Shiny blue eyes peaked from round black sunglasses, you simply shrugged and walked with him to the car with your silly little backpack and your new future.
Growing up with Megumi was a slightly mixed bag, but instead of growing irritated of him, he fascinated you. Despite his more shadowy personality, you were rather fond of him right away,finding his hot temperament and need to be serious rather endearing and cute much to his open and endless dismay.
You wondered how this could be someone your age, as Megumi was much more composed than the supposed adult now taking care of you. He was indifferent to both you and Gojo, only ever interacting with his elder step-sister Tsumiki, who urged him to be kinder and more approachable especially since you two were in the same predicament. Megumi would scoff and tell her to leave him alone and that he didn't wanna make friends just because they're stuck together. You never took offense but it would annoy you that you had the decency to be kind but he wasn't discreet with his attitude.
"Right..like I know i'm the adult but it's kind shooting down my pride that this kid doesn't like me yet, i'm not above bribes..." Gojo had whispered to you after you secretly inquired about the other child, having a difficult time adjusting to your new living situation, the young boy's attitude towards you was not welcoming and though you did your best to leave him alone, you would still extend an arm out as gently as possible. Although, you were also not above checking Megumi's attitude which would result in some major clashes that would make Gojo fret over household repairs.
After walking you guys home from school Gojo would figure out what to feed you before training and homework, allowing you to snack as he stressfully lamented over what to feed the three of you. You're all seated at the table with your homework laid out, peckish from a long day of being an elementary aged child. Tsumiki sat primly in her chair sipping on a pink carton of strawberry milk, a staple in the gojo-fushiguro-(l/n) household. Excitedly you ask her if there were anymore boxes of the heavily worshipped beverages left.
She nodded sweetly, soft brown locks swaying,"Yeah (y/n) there's one more left with your name on it!"
You beam happily out of your seat, ready to grab your treat and announce to your guardian that more strawberry milk was to be added to the grocery list. Until...
.
.
You fall face first onto the firmness of the tatami mat and hear the rapid stomping of feet fleeing to the cabinet where your sacred treasure lay. Furious you look up at Megumi who was now indifferently drinking the last carton, that you had so openly claimed, a claim that was co-signed and notarized by Tsumiki. The absolute audacity of this bratty spoiled motherfu-
"Meg-" Tsumiki began to scold right before you exploded.
"You bitch!" you shrieked, you hear Tsumiki gasp at your profanity, but your anger was at boiling point with this broom haired kid. Megumi retained his look of indifference which furthered enraged you. Megumi expected you to get mad and yell at him but what he didn't expect was-
"OOF!" Megumi fell backwards roughly on the floor, as you tackled him, strawberry milk carton flying out of his hand, destination unknown. You're on him pulling as harshly as your tiny fists allow on his hair, he yells pushing you back but you're relentless!
"Calm down what's your deal you freak it's just strawberry milk!"
"You tripped me to get it you selfish brat! Even though you knew i wanted it!"
"You obviously didn't want it that bad! Should've been more alert!" he successfully gets you off of him, shoving you to the living room.
"Guys please!" You both ignore Tsumiki
"Ugh! You're such a whiny little bitch!" You lunge at him again with your fist ready,unbeknownst to you there's glowing flames of energy coursing through it,he narrowly evades it by moving his head. Making impact with the sofa, it splits in half, wooden floor below absolutely destroyed.
Megumi grunts in anger, his fist glowing as well ready to make impact with you, quickly you push him off and he blows a hole through the television and the wall behind it. Stubbornly you both make way to each other with powered filled fist ready to collide.
"ENOUGH! What's the matter you two!" Gojo catches both of your fists,pulling you two off the floor, holding the both of you in each hand, he angrily looks back and forth between you and the destroyed living room. "How did this happen! Why are you two trying rip each others' heads off and why is the living room a-oh?"
A lightbulb flickers over him," Well I'll be damned! You two finally managed to produce cursed energy,how exciting!" The older man hugs you both tightly, crushing your lungs.
"Too bad it took you guys trying to kill each other...which reminds me we need to have a little lesson on teamwork, and household construction you absolute demon children!" He gives a preview of your 3 hour long lecture by throwing you two into the hole you just punched in the floor.
.
.
.
After that incident you understood how someone so deceptively calm like Megumi was to be a sorcerer, he was crazy, a an absolute psycho you'd say. Gojo's words from a previous time replay in your mind:
"You have to be a little crazy to handle being jujutsu sorcerer."
Through a lot of exposure therapy, Megumi eventually got used to your presence, and actually began to enjoy it, seeking it even. Once you were both a little older and still around each other, he figured he may as well get along with you. It's not that he didn't like you (anymore) or found you annoying (anymore) he realized he was just used to Tsumiki, and didn't care for any more than that and was surprising to himself very combative to any sort of change. But he was making the effort to fix that immature side of him and be more receptive and open to you and gojo.
Despite that, the more missions you two shadowed, the longer you lived together and went to school, the closer you became and the tighter your bond felt. You became an inseparable pair, hanging out outside of sorcery and schooling, in your rooms, sharing hobbies and tastes in music, constant laughter and smiles were consistently heard and shared between you two. Witnessed fondly by Tsumiki and Gojo who had their own little gossip circle over mochi and tea. Strawberry milk was no longer allowed in the household.
This unshakable bond was like concrete, no matter the circumstances, no matter how terrifying going out on missions became and the atrocities you experienced, you guys relied on each other, minds and hearts in perfect synergy the older you became. Getting to your first year of jujutsu tech was something you both couldn't believe finally came around, now almost 10 years later, and your relationship was still thriving! Yuji and Nobara blending in perfectly to your small shared circle!
But now one person has began to shake that bond and making Megumi's possessive bratty habits rear their ugly head.
It's making Megumi regret coming to this stupid sorcerer school with the stupid handsome suit wearing ex-salarymen sorcerers who have stupid sorcery knowledge and wisdom. Who are stupidly caring and kind with cute quirks like loving bread, fuckin loser (yet megumi hates red bell pepper)
This thought process was pissing him off, and so was the existence of a specific grade 1 sorcerer.
"Nanami is so strong! His ratio technique is so cool!"
"Nanami is helping me with my precision and aim! He's so kind!"
"Nanami is such a gentleman, he tucked me to sleep in the car on the way home from a mission! A sweet handsome guy like him must have no problem getting da-"
"Alright! I get it Nanami is so great and awesome! You know it's a little inappropriate to have a crush on your superiors!" Megumi grumbles as he slams his hand on the table,eyebrows raised at you. What's so great about a guy who wears a suit to exorcise curses? fuckin weirdo
Your eyes widen as a flush takes over your cheeks, "Gumi don't be mean! I don't have a crush on Nanami, I'm just saying how kind he is and how much i've learned from him!" your lips form a pout.
"Really? Then why is your face red? Why are your eyes sparkling when you talk about him?What's the point in calling him handsome if you're not crushing on him! You sound like a love sick school girl!" He bites back.
You raise your brows and cross your arms,"You know your bratty attitude wasn't cute when we were kids and it's definitely not cute now! So what if I admire my mentor or compliment his looks! Yuji's complimented my looks and I don't see you calling him a love sick school girl!"
Internally he's kicking himself, he doesn't understand why hearing about Nanami from you is making him react this way. It feels like someone else is piloting his brain right now (or maybe his six year old self) especially when he utters his next words,"Maybe you should start hanging out with Nanami since he's so cool and special!"
"'You like me or something huh? Can't stand me looking at someone else!"You stand up, fists on the table, you lean your body over to Megumi's side of the table, face to face your (e/c) eyes give him a heated glare.
Now it's Megumi's turn to flush red, breaking his neck to look away from your intimidatingly beautiful eyes, his heart snaps.
"Are you jealous Gumi? Is that it? You want me to look at you only?" You inch closer, calling him out on his bluff.
'WHAT! Oh god.. no no no, awe shit...god damn it what am I thinking, beautiful eyes? I mean she does have beautiful eyes, and she's beauti- oh my god? She asked if I like her? I think that's what this is...heart pumping? Am I jealous of Nanami? Idiot. Why did I have to run my mouth like that? Since when do I lose my cool this bad nowadays?!" Megumi's thoughts race 100 miles per hour, body running hot from the interrogation.
"J-Jel-Jealous? What the hell would I have to be jealous of Nanami for!" His delicately pretty face twisted in confusion and irritation.
"I don't know gumi, how about you enlighten me" You smirk, cornering him like he's a feral possum, he's not getting out of this one unscathed.
He never really got into the specifics of his feelings for you, of course he liked you, or else he wouldn't stick around. You guys were so close it was honestly concerning to others and himself, you were his most treasured person (sacred one would say) He has been through major life experiences, and struggles with you, you grew up together. You had a domestic routine, a result of living together for years, even in the same house you guys slept in each other's rooms (and still do even though the dorms prohibit it) watched tv together, read together, cooked for each other, studied...went on outings... had matching rings ... matching sweaters.. and oh god is he already dating you?
That's not all, his shikigami adored you, you were there when he summoned his first ones, the divine dogs that he appropriately named shiro and kuro, and boy you were so excited to see them, the dogs took an instant liking to your adoration, and eventually you bonded with them they look out for you on missions. As a child that cemented for Megumi that you were someone he held dear and was 100% certain you had truly kind and pure heart if his shikigami were so trusting of you.
Same thing happened with his other shikigami; Nue would nuzzle into you despite his ever growing body whether it was after a successful mission or as soon as it was summoned for training, excited rust colored wings and a happy screech flocked your way. Gama and rabbit escape jumping on your shoulders in greeting or to rest.
When he lost Shiro and Orochi, you made him a pretty silver charm necklace with a snake and pretty white wolf, letting him mourn his fallen companions in the comfort of his bed as he sobbed heart wrenchingly in your arms and expressed his deep appreciation that you allowed him have something of them to carry with him
That memory is specifically one he holds so dearly, he remembers how much you reassured him that it was okay to mourn his shikigami and Yuji and that it wasn't his fault they died, and that this situation shouldn't make him jaded in making bonds with others; reality was that you guys were all still so young so to see one of you die was heartbreaking no matter how normal it was in your world.
looking back he feels that's when he began realizing his feelings ran deeper than initially imagined. It was instinct for him to protect you, comfort you and even just care for you in any way possible. Always making sure you were fed and hydrated, well rested, not overstrained, comforting you when missions you went on without him went awry, carrying you to bed when you fell asleep in the common room at the dormitory, or in the car on the way home.
If it was cold he made sure you had a sweater on before just in case or disregard his coldness by taking off his sweater and tenderly putting it on you (whilst grumbling and nagging for you to bring one, though Megumi would never admit so brazenly he loved seeing you in his clothes, that's his secret to keep.)
From across the way, Yuji and Nobara watch the spectacle going on at your table, it was very rare for you and Megumi to fight, you guys bickered for sure, you all did, but Megumi never lost his cool with you in those instances like he did with them. Usually if you fought it was over very serious things, like injuries on missions, mahoraga... the drawbacks of your technique on your body.. but never a serious argument on something so...stupid? Plus it wasn't in either of your introverted natures to display such a spectacle.
"What are those two screaming at each other about? I could've sworn I heard Fushiguro saying Nanamin's name a few times?" Yuji glances back at Nobara, his brown eyes curious as to what his favorite mentor had to do with your squabble, he takes a handful of fries while Nobara looks directly at her phone to take a photo, oblivious to her lack of fries.
"I'm thinking Fushiguro is jealous that his sweet little (y/n) has her eyes on someone else for once, but for him to throw a tantrum over a harmless crush on a mentor is a level of pathetic I never expected him to be on." Kugisaki stifles her laughter, brushing her auburn hair back, not so subtly eavesdropping on the argument.(not like she could help it, she's nosy plus you guys are hard to ignore right now)
"I could see why someone would for fall for Nanamin! He's a really a gentleman! Strong too! I'd feel threatened too if I was him. But doesn't he know (y/n) really likes him? They're super close like that" The pink haired boy states like it's a simple answer as any. Nobara rolls her eyes, annoyed at the men in her class.
"Fushiguro is emotionally constipated, he may not really understand that he has feelings for her because they've always been close, but because (y/n) is girl she's smarter and knows better! She's trying to get it out of him, twenty bucks says she gets him to confess by the end of today?" Nobara sticks her hand out to Yuji, he smiles a look for determination on his face as he shakes her hand.
"You're on! Twenty bucks says she gets him to confess here and now!" They both nod to seal their deal.
"What are you guys betting on?" A voice in their booth asks. The students squeak as Gojo makes his presence known, his face inquisitive and sly.
"That (y/n) is gonna get Fushiguro to confess his feelings! It's bound to happen!" Itadori explains.
Gojo sniffles at the response, sighing dramatically while putting a hand over his heart,collapsing wordlessly into the booth end face planting on the table, Yuji softly pats his teachers back for comfort,while Kugisaki rolls her eyes at the ridiculous scenes in front of her, she turns back to your table and gasps, phone falling out of her grip.
Gojo and Yuji immediately look up, jaws dropping in shock at the scene in front of them.
Megumi and you were standing away from your table,his hand on your waist, the other holding the side of your face as both your lips were gently pressed together, you on your tippy toes and arms around his neck. They witness the gentleness of the moment, both your eyes full of fondness,and affection as your lips separate. A pretty blush overtakes the atmosphere.
"Oh my babies! They're growing up too fast! One day they're destroying the house and trying to kill each other over strawberry milk then before you know it they're getting married!" Gojo babbles through escalating sobs, accepting the tissues Yuji's offered him and cries into said student's shoulders.
Nobara and Yuji share a questioning look on the qualifications of gojo being a parent and the nature of your childhood, Yuji comforts his sensei again,"Fushiguro and (y/n) are always gonna be your babies gojo! Honestly I'm j-just s-so I'm so proud of Fushiguro being so honest about his feeheeeliiiings" the pinked haired boy chokes through tears, wiping his runny nose on his uniform
Kugisaki looks at the two emotional men in disgust, opting to watch the romantic soap opera in front of her as a live studio audience member, smiling softly to herself, as though she wouldn't be as foolish as her sensei and friend to openly admit it, she was full of pride for you too! You'd been pining over Megumi for forever even though you weren't aware of it and you always described how you used to feel lonely until you met him and no matter what you guys go through you're always there-
"Those two are finally together I can't believe it!! I'm so happy!" the hazel eyed girl joins the huddle of Yuji and Gojo, tears flowing out her eyes. All of this goes ignored and unbeknownst to you and Megumi.
You smile brightly at the black haired boy, playing with the hairs behind his neck,"See Gumi, was that so hard to admit?" You tease him, he grunts, eyes squeezed shut in embarrassed annoyance.
He softly flicks your forehead, an old habit from middle school," Shut up... I didn't really know that's what that was...but now that you're mine, that means no more Nanami talk right? Or anyone that's not me for that matter.." pretty red flush stains his fair skin.
You giggle and kiss his cheek,"Hmmm I don't know Okkutsu is a reaaaaal cutie.." you pretend to ponder tilting your head in thought.
Megumi groans and kisses you again, more confident and stern,"You're an absolute pain."
"Don't worry Gumi you're my only and favorite one. I've always been yours silly." You wink, a pink blush dusting the both of you again. Megumi presses a chaste kiss, holding your hand and grabbing both your bags to get ready to leave for training after your longer than intended lunch, you're interrupted by a deep,polite voice.
"(y/l/n),Fushiguro, my apologies for bothering you both, I just wanted to quickly speak to Miss (y/l/n), here this is research I found on techniques similar to your own and information about its users.. I hope the information is helpful to you in your journey as a sorcerer." Nanami hands you a few books with various note tabs sticking out of them. You stare at it wide eyed, stunned and excited to learn more about your technique... and how much time and effort it took a busy man like Nanami to do...Seriously, what a gentleman...
You bow in appreciation,blush reappearing, "Thank you Nanami, I'm sure this will be very insightful!" the man smiles back and nods,"Of course, be sure to let me know what else you may want to know.That being said I've taken enough of your guys' time, goodbye for now."
Megumi scoffs, irritation palpable at his senior,"Tch. Whatever womanizer."He tugs at your hand and drags you away quickly to the exit and as far away from the dashing gentleman of a sorcerer. Damn...he's good.
As you're walking you smack his shoulder in reprimand,"gumi that was rude! you're always gonna be brat who does whatever he wants!" you're scolding him but it's in between giggles and the most loving soft gaze he's used to seeing in your eyes, now that he knows what it is, it makes him shy. He kisses your face as a distraction to your lecture (fat chance.)
And what could Megumi say, you make him crazy, he's always gonna put his foot down for what's his. He silently kisses the back of your hand like a guilty puppy.
he'll apologize to nanami soon
.
.
.
Taken aback Nanami blinks in confusion,"Womanizer?" he repeats. Megumi's vengeful words replay in his mind, unable to figure out an explanation.
He looks back at Itadori's table when the sound of rambunctious laughter invades the dining hall, confused hazel eyes hidden behind his opaque lenses.
"Why are you laughing?"
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────✧∘₊
I hope you guys liked my first work on here!! This was written on a whim with no specific outline (explains the inconsequential lore dump as this is one shot or who knows!!) hope you guys love jealous and bratty Megumi. As calm and collected as he is I imagine when hes in love so many emotions come up he doesn't know how to define them or properly communicate them so he says the first thing his brain tells him even when he himself knows rationally its crazy to say or think.
#megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#megumi x you#nanami is so cool#dad gojo#jujutsu kaisen imagines#megumi fushiguro imagine#strawberry milk is a religious figure#it was not water into wine
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My MC for @childrenofcain-if! Under the cut is just me yapping a lot more than I intended 💔
Mina Rosaria Young
- Charming, sweet, and gentle, Mina is someone who always sees the best in others and makes a genuine effort to befriend everyone she meets. Her empathy and easy smile have a way of quickly disarming people— but for all her geniality, it’s not so easy to get her to talk about herself. Maybe she has some walls, maybe she’s afraid of being a burden. Still, her soft spoken demeanor doesn’t mean she’s any less of a go getter, and she’ll ace every challenge sent her way. Where ballet taught her self expression and poise, debate and public speaking taught her the art of persuasion. She loves dressing up and will never go out in an outfit she doesn’t feel cute in. Don’t let her elegant appearance fool you, though; the grace she walks with is often punctuated by the tables, chairs, and other miscellaneous items she runs into while her mind is elsewhere. Romantic and idealistic, she may be somewhat naïve in her belief in inherent goodness. When someone who cares deeply about everything is faced with a hurt too cruel, do they end up caring about nothing at all? -
Relationships:
C LACROIX: Just wants to be friends. Pretty please.
V NÆSHOLM: Fast friends!! Was totally chill (maybe a little too Chill™) with their first meeting. She thinks they’re super lovely and fun to be with.
W OSTENDORF: Why does babes look so famil— OHHH (she missed them lots and is very happy to see them again)
M WHITLOCK-SINGH: Immediately charmed. Was kind of starstruck upon first meeting and might have a small crush on them in a mostly admiring kind of way (for now). She finds them very easy to talk to and enjoys their frequent philosophical discussions! Greatly appreciates their support and kindness in a new environment.
D DIACONU: Thinks she should stay away from them. Not because she dislikes them— in fact, she finds them very nice and honestly quite funny. But they make unfamiliar butterflies appear in her stomach and cause a strange tickle in her chest. And she knows they’re no good for her, that falling for them would only end in heartbreak (though maybe it’s already too late)
I was debating whether or not to put the RO notes bc I feel like I don’t have a good enough grasp on their characters to be writing anything from their POVs 💔 But it looked nice so… aesthetic purposes won me over;; 🙂↕️🙂↕️ I’m so sorry if they’re out of character 😭
#momentarily forgot the title of the if while picking her last name AGJFHK#let’s pretend it was intentional shhhh#outfits outfits!!#the ballad of the young gods#alsk art#interactive fiction#twine game#twine if#illustration#digital art#fanart#oc art#original character#character sheet#lookbook#mina young#if: the ballad of the young gods
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(couldn’t find image source anywhere, if u know pls lmk!!)
Synopsis: Choso was one of your closest friends - you spent so much time together, others said you were ‘attached at the hip’. But when his curiosity blooms, you are the only one that can help quench his thirst for knowledge.
Characters: Choso Kamo x reader (about time)
Content: Minors Do Not Interact! smut, fem! reader, virgin! Choso (so virgin that he lives in a world where he has somehow at the age of twenty something never heard about masturbating or sexual intercourse), college au, link to prn audio, suggestiveness, cursing, mentions of female masturbation, male masturbation, maybe a tiiiiiny bit of voyeurism, pet/affectionate names, big (pretty) dick! Choso, just our sweet lovey boy Cho in his full glory tbh.
Word count: A solid 6k
Notes: AHEM! there is some spicy audio from twitter linked in this post as well as an SFW image at the end. you’ll know when you’ve reached that point, and it will be emphasized like this, accentuated with '*'. if that's not something you're down for, you can totally scroll past. if you arrrre down for that, i think you'll need to be logged into twitter beforehand for the audio. if you're on mobile, I'm not sure if you'll be able to hear the audio as you read (unfortunately), but if you can, you're in for a treat bitch.
More Notes: i finally have some of my own choso smut on this blog wtf. he is my guilty pleasure omg i mean literally who doesn't love him, more specifically him when he's an inexperienced desperate crying mess???? i really hope you enjoy this one, i have def enjoyed writing it. (side note - the songs i pick for these fics sometimes fit the vibe of what i wrote, and other times it's a song i can't get out of my head. both are the case for this one - i listened to this nonstop while writing so pls enjoy if that’s cool with u). there will be future parts, and if you want to be tagged in those and you’re not already, let me know!!! SORRY TO YAP ILY BYE
(I wanted to upload this at like 5p my time for engagement purposes but then I thought about all the bitches (me) that may work from home, read smut on the clock regardless (me), or simply don’t work rn, so I had to give you the goodness now)
“Y/n, c-can I ask you a question? Like.. a personal one?”
You and Choso were seated on the couch, eyes fixated on the rom com on the screen ahead. It was your weekly movie marathon night - the movie you two just finished was an action thriller that was right up Choso’s alley. It was your pick next, and you went with a classic rom com that had a few more spicy scenes than you anticipated. It left the air in the room feeling thick, both of you clearing your throats and glancing throughout the room as if someone’s parents were present.
You and Cho had been close friends for a while, and it helped that you shared a similar schedule this semester. Although he was a cutie, you had no clue if he shared a similar attraction to you. He was so shy, and while the shy emo boy thing has worked on you before, you felt like you’d do nothing but corrupt Choso’s innocent soul if you were to make a move. You let things play out naturally, enjoying the company he brought and your friendship - but if things went in a different direction, you wouldn’t be opposed in the slightest.
“Sure, Cho - what’s up?” You ask, noting the concerned look on his face.
“Have you ever.. done that before?” He asks, motioning to the screen, and your heart aches with how precious he looks. His eyes flick up at you when your hand rests on his shoulder so you can scoot a little closer towards him.
“Well, yeah.. yeah I have. What makes you ask?”
“J-Just the movie, I-I was just curious,” he blurts, trying not to sound as weird as he felt for asking.
“Well, what makes you want to ask me specifically, I mean,” you press, trying to read his expression through his shaggy hair and long lashes.
He blushes, making eye contact with you again before twiddling his thumbs in his lap.
“I just.. I’ve never done any that before, a-and I trust you, ya’ know? I didn’t know if I was weird for not doing that,” he says, his voice becoming shakier by the second.
“Ohmygod, Cho, no of course you’re not weird! Everyone discovers things at their own pace. There’s a whole lot of stuff when it comes to sex, so it can get overwhelming,” you say, rubbing his shoulder with your thumb to help calm his nerves.
Which was really doing the opposite. Your touch was searing hot on his skin and it worried him. He’s been touched plenty of times, even by you - but it felt like you might melt through his skin if you pressed hard enough. It felt that way on his outer thigh, too; your knee resting on his leg accidentally inching closer to the area he felt every blood cell creeping to.
“Y-Yeah, s’overwhelming for sure,” he says, shifting his position slightly further from you.
“I-I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Begin? Do you have someone in mind you want to do stuff with?” You ask, begging he says no. You felt a little weird for hoping, but you would hate for his first experience to be with the wrong person.
More blood rushes to his cheeks when he makes eye contact with you, quickly looking back to the TV when he sees a hopeful look in your eye.
“N-No, definitely not. I just want to learn more, f-for when that time comes,” he says, clearing his throat and hoping you don’t catch on to his half-lie.
Phew.
“Well it’s probably best to start with the basics, yeah? Just the simple stuff, then eventually you kind of.. figure out where to go from there, if that makes sense,” you add, and he responds with a simple nod as he turns to face you again, ready to absorb whatever knowledge you have to share with him.
“So… have you ever touched yourself before?” You ask, trying not to wince at how awkward you felt asking him something so personal. But you had to assess how much he really knew.
He furrows his brows in confusion and lets out a small laugh, “Um, obviously - see?” He asks as he pokes his stomach with his pointer finger, and you remind yourself to keep a straight face. You grab his arm to refocus him and he huffs a breath of half-laughter as he notices how the blood in your fingertips pulse against his wrist.
“No, Cho. I mean like.. down there,” you say, motioning to his crotch area with your finger - he still looks confused.
“You know? To have an orgasm..” you ask, hoping he will pick up on your hints.
“Orgasm?”
You sigh, trying to find the right wording to explain this without sounding belittling.
“So, when I said ‘touching yourself’, I was referring to masturbation. I’m not gonna’ teach you how to do that because a Google search will tell you all you need to know,” and he nods feverishly.
“When you do.. sex stuff - like masturbate, have sex, all of that, usually the goal is to have an orgasm. Not always, but most of the time. I don’t know all the science behind it, but when you repeatedly stimulate the nerves in this area,” you say motioning to your groin, “you can have an orgasm.”
“O-Okay, I understand. Is the orgasm weird? Sounds like it,” he asks and you smile.
“No, no not at all. It feels really good. You know how when you have to sneeze and there’s this big buildup, then bam, you sneeze? And you feel so relieved? It’s kinda’ like that, but a million times better.”
“Better than eating your favorite food? Or watching movies?”
He asks, eager to know more.
And you sigh again, “Well, it’s hard to compare it to stuff like that, but it is really pleasurable. It just makes your body feel good, I guess. It’s hard to explain it through words, but now you know a little more - if you’re interested in that sorta thing.”
“No, I think I understand better now,” he says, thankful for your instruction.
“Oh, and if you do masturbate, when you have an orgasm, some fluid will come out from.. down there. But it’s normal and happens to everyone.”
“Fluid? Even girls?”
“Yes, Cho, even girls. It’s different though for sure. For girls it’s more like clear.. slimey stuff? And for you it’s like a white.. liquid? I’m sorry, I’m so bad at explaining shit,” you laugh, rolling your eyes at how stupid you felt.
“No, y/n you’re doing a great job! I had no clue about any of this stuff. Question.”
“Shoot.”
“What is it called? The fluid,” he says hesitantly, still trying to wrap his mind around how making fluid come out of any body part was a good thing. He feels his crotch grow warmer and, out of embarrassment, shifts his pillow to hide his growing problem.
“Oh, well there’s scientific names for it, but everybody calls it cum,” you say as you will the blush to fade from your cheeks.
“Cum. Like ‘come here’?”
“Y-Yeah, pretty much. Just spelled different.”
“Got it. Another question.”
You nod.
“How do you know when to masturbate?”
You were hoping this was one he wouldn’t ask.
“Well kind of whenever you want to,” and his eyes widen, “Let me rephrase that. It’s kind of like using the restroom, right? Something that you do behind closed doors.”
“Y-Yeah, makes sense. But whenever you want to? How do you know when you want to?”
“Okay,” you start, “you know how people in movies talk about being horny? It basically means you’re.. turned on, you want to have sex, stuff like that. So when you feel that way you could do it if you want. For you it’ll be a little easier to tell.”
“How?”
“You know how when you wake up in the morning and your… area is hard?” You ask and he blushes, turning again to look at the television.
“Yes,” he answers simply.
“Well when it is hard, it doesn’t always mean you’re horny - it can just happen randomly. But whenever you do start to feel that way, usually it’ll get hard. But that doesn’t mean you have to masturbate whenever it is that way, you know? Just if you want to,”
He gulps as he shushes the images in his mind of you waking up in his bed beside him, still trying to understand all the information being thrown at him.
“O-Okay. I-I think that’s good, for now, to start at least. Thank you for telling me all of that,” he says with a smile as he tries to focus his attention to the tv.
“It’s no problem, I promise. You can always ask me questions about anything, you know that right?” You say, wrapping your arm around his shoulders to give him a quick squeeze of reassurance.
“Y-Yeah, of course,” he says, voice cracking as he finishes his statement. There was yet another passionate scene appearing on screen, albeit shrouded by covers and dim lighting. The discussion left him feeling hot all over, and the blood rushing southward had only increased. It didn’t help that you pressed your plush chest into his arm so sweetly when you hugged him. Although he had never seen a woman in that way in person before, he knew that if he had to pick, it’d be you. It always would be.
“Y/n, would you hate me if I had to go home? My tummy hurts for some reason,” he says with a grimace, rubbing his abdomen as he looks at you.
You chuckle, “Oh really? It wouldn’t have anything to do with the three pounds of candy you ate would it?” You ask, pointing to the empty wrappers he had shoved into the plastic sack they came in.
“You’re probably right, hah. I’m sorry, I just feel like I need to lay down,” he admits, wiping the sweat he feels accumulating on the back of his neck.
You shove into his arm, to which he responds with a fake ‘ow’. “Ugh, and right in the middle of my movie? You owe me one, Cho,” you say, sticking your bottom lip out for good measure.
He smiles brightly, crows feet decorating the corners of his eyes. “Duhhhh, we can just reschedule for the weekend. I should be free Saturday night if you wanna’?” He asks.
“I’ll have to check my schedule. Don’t leave much room in my calendar for traitors nowadays.” You say with a dramatic roll of your eyes. He giggles and pushes you back, sticking his tongue out before he gathers his things to go.
You reach up so he can give you your usual bye hug before he continues walking to your door.
“I’ll give you double next time, I-I don’t wanna get you sick,” he yells as he scrambles to unlock the door. You start to get up to demand your hug before you hear the door open with a rushed ‘see ya’ later’ as he shuts it.
He rushes out the door, fumbling for his keys before he sits in his car with a huff. He was throbbing now, but you said it was something to do behind closed doors. To be fair, he was scared to try. What if he didn’t do it right?
He wipes his palms on his pants, turning the key in the ignition before he pulls out of the drive. He had so much to think about - there was no time for music. He drives home in silence, replaying the conversation the two of you had as he tries to will his hardon to go away. But each time he thought about it, it would twitch in response to the images of you in his head.
You watch him leave from your kitchen window. He looked okay, maybe a little feverish. With how sudden it came on, you felt like it had more to do with the conversation you two had than the exuberant amount of candy. You did throw a lot of information on him at once though. You want to text him to get to the bottom of things, but he was notorious for texting you back as he was driving, not wanting to leave you waiting for long. You decide to wait until after the shower you so desperately needed.
-
You wrap your hair in a towel and throw on your previously laid out pajamas. You fan your face so your moisturizer can dry as you go to grab your phone off the charger. No texts from Choso, surprisingly. He usually always texted you when he got home.
‘just checking in, how you feeling??🤢’
You can’t even close your phone before a loud ding! echoes in your room.
-
The ride home was excruciating. Now that he knew there was a way to take care of things, he felt helpless not being able to now. At this point, he still didn’t even really understand how to… ‘stimulate the nerves’ - that could mean anything. The knowledge he had now plays on repeat in his mind as he pulls up to his apartment. He checks his phone - it reads a too-bright 9:33.
He goes inside and immediately lays on the couch, not having the energy to go upstairs just yet. He forced himself to sleep. He knew texting you would make him think of the way you smelled earlier, the way you were so suddenly all over him, how your chest pressed into him when you hugged him like you usually do.
It only made matters worse that he dreamed of you - his aching, throbbing problem seemed to be worse now that he refused to take care of it earlier. He rubs his eyes, reaching for his phone to see you texted him about thirty minutes ago.
‘I’m good! Just needed to lay down, sorry I didn’t text you!! I fell asleep when I got back😴🥱’
‘It’s okay bestie!!! Do you feel better now?’
‘Yeah a little bit! Thank you for talking to me earlier’
‘Sorry if it was weird’
‘ohmygooooooddddd dude I told you it wasn’t weird! I’m always down to talk about whatever silly butt’
‘I knowwww🤓I just felt awkward but I didn’t know who else to ask’
‘It’s okay I promise. Do you have any other q’s? Might make you feel less awkward yk’
‘Mayyyybe😟’
‘I’m waiting🙂↕️’
Your response made him anxious - he felt like he’d been hard for hours at this point. He knew it had something to do with you, though it was difficult to admit. He had always looked at you fondly, sneaking glances when you weren’t looking, finding reasons to come over, staying up late just to talk on the phone. But he was so new to everything he had no idea on how to take things further, if you even wanted to.
He did want to learn more about you, though - like he always did.
‘do you touch yourself?’
You did not expect him to ask anything like that. He was usually so innocent and coy. It could have been genuine curiosity, although your stomach was telling you something else.
‘ummmmm yes sometimes🤔why’
He did not expect your answer, either. Not that he thought you wouldn’t - you obviously knew enough about it to teach him well. But he also didn’t think you would, maybe he was even hoping you wouldn’t. Knowing that you do made him feel like he could combust.
‘I was just curious!! sorry if that was too far’
He types the message quickly, locking his phone before he headed upstairs. He was determined to learn more - he was so hard at this point it was hurting. He couldn’t keep his mind clear from the lewd depictions of you sprawled out for him so pretty.
He sits into his computer chair quickly, logging onto his desktop before he pulls up an incognito tab. He knew that porn was out there, but he wanted actual educational material.
-
It’s been only fifteen minutes and he feels like he's discovered an entirely new world. He knows even more than he bargained for and he’s seen enough instructional diagrams to last a lifetime. He feels like he has a decent grasp on how to masturbate and even some ways to please others, when that time comes.
He grabs his phone, worried what your response would be to his prying question.
‘no it’s okay! just didn’t expect you to ask but yeah, it can be a great stress reliever!!’
You send the message, hopeful you didn’t sound to forward.
He receives it and the tent in his pant twitches involuntarily. He puts his phone face down on the desk, taking a breath as he attempts to process what you said.
‘also not to change the subject bc we can still talk about whatever, but i really need help on the calc hw🙏😀’
He was too excited at the thought of you so expertly relieving your stress. He imagines you all red faced, panting and falling apart. How sweet you’d sound gasping and whining his name. The thought has him reaching for the waistband of his lose sweats, his long fingers making his abdomen tense when they move further, brushing the trimmed hairs at his base before they just barely wrap around his shaft. He pulls his sweats over his length, gasping at the dry stimulation. His cock springs forward, smacking loudly on his stomach as he winces. He’s been painfully hard for hours now - his angry tip was drooling precum, smearing it underneath his belly button into his happy trail. He grabs himself again, wrapping somewhat firmly around the base of his cock, careful not to squeeze too hard. The diagrams he studied said too much of a grip wasn’t ideal, but too loose wouldn’t provide enough stimulation.
He pulls his hand up slowly, the skin around his tip enveloping the curves of his cock head snugly before releasing it as he moves his hand downwards back to its original position.
‘f-fuck,’ he whines, already overwhelmed by the new sensation. It’s not like he hasn’t felt something similar before - but the new knowledge of what this was, what it led to, left his breath shaky from the anticipation. He moves again, gripping slightly harder as he brings his hand up further than before, almost entirely to the tip as more spurts of his essence leak from his tip to his fingers.
He continues, slowly increasing his pace. Each stroke elicited a noise from him - a gasp or a grunt, and downright pitiful whines that were ripped from the bottom of his lungs. He had never felt so close to nirvana before and he couldn’t help vocalizing* his pleasure as he struggles to keep a steady pace. He tries to stop his mind from drifting, but the snug grip he has on his length as he repeatedly bucks into his hand sends him to a place where every thought is infiltrated with your essence. The way your hands squeeze his shoulder, how the fat of your hips threatened exposure when you wore your favorite pajama shorts, how you were always so warm, how your hair smelled when he hugged you. He reaches his free hand up into his shirt, resting on his heart as he tries to match the erratic beating rhythm with his strokes. He’s nearly crying now, strangled noises leaving his throat so raw and sharp, voice cracking and heaving as he feels an unfamiliar pull in his groin. He’s whining out pitiful cries of your name now in response to the borderline overstimulation of his pretty, weeping cock. Sweat pools on his body as his hips come entirely off the chair to pump messily into his fist, chasing a release he didn’t know he needed.
-
You check your phone again, seeing a message that still read as ‘delivered’. Choso was usually so quick to text you back, almost like he left the screen open to your messages only. You were starting to worry that he may actually be sick with his unusually inconsistent communication. The calculus problem you needed help with was staring back at you on your laptop screen, still waiting to be answered.
You open up your discord to see his status as ‘idle’. However, when you open Skype, you see a little green dot showing he was active in the last hour. Might as well call him here if he didn’t have his phone.
-
Shit. His vision was turning white as he felt every sense in his body ignite before he is lurched back into reality when a familiar chime plays in the background, somehow perceivable over the dull ringing in his ear. The sound is hardly audible behind his pathetic whimpers as he tries to steady his breathing before he answers. He flips his phone over first to see a message from you from a few minutes ago, and he curses a long string of 'fuck, fuck, fuck'.
He answers the call, feeling so stupid for keeping you waiting again. He’s unaware of the state he appears to be in when the webcam turns on, bright desktop light illuminating his red, fucked-out face.
He stutters, still struggling to catch his breath as he wipes the sweat from his brow.
“H- Hi, Hi, y-y/n,” he says, choking out an airy laugh as he puts his head in his hand.
“Were you just -“ you say, putting the pieces together as you take in his image - splotchy, sweat-shined skin, hair stuck slick to his forehead, shaky hands, and bitten, swollen lips. It would explain the inconsistent messaging, the off-kilter questions from earlier, and most importantly, the state he was in now. He was nearly moaning on the call, still too caught up in his obvious state of pleasure.
“I swear, I wasn’t, hah,” he starts, taking a deep breath again as he finds a nearby towel and runs it through his sweaty, disheveled hair, letting out an audible 'fuck' to your surprise - he never cursed in front of you.
“J-Just got back from a run!” He adds with a smile, clearing his throat as he readjusts in his chair.
“I thought you were sick?” You ask, trying to adjust your laptop camera as you sit back into the bed. Choso gasped, barely detected by his webcam mic as your camera twitched downwards in your attempt to reposition. The camera flashed your waist, hugged tightly by your white tank top, which was followed by your full chest, nearly heaving out of the neckline - his breath hitched as he catches a glimpse of your nipples peeking through the thin material. All too quickly the camera is refocused by on your face.
He thought this would make it better for him, having the camera pointed away from your tempting figure. But your clean, soft skin shined so brightly on camera and made him feel like he could melt. He still breathes heavy, trying to find an explanation to your question.
“Yeah, phew - felt like I was getting a fever, wanted to run out the ick, ya’ know?” He says, chuckling nervously after he finishes. He looks down at his gray t shirt, now covered in sweat.
“Gimme’ just a sec’ - gonna change,” he says and you respond with a hesitant ‘okay’. You chose not to tease him although the thought was lingering - he was probably as embarrassed as he’d ever been getting somewhat caught in the act.
He reaches his hand up to his webcam, sliding the privacy shield to your right - only halfway. He doesn’t realize his mistake, his still shaking fingers betraying him. He stands from his desk with a huff, and your hand flies to your mouth as you stifle a gasp. For a brief moment, his pelvis faces the camera before he turns to find a shirt. He’s pulling his sweats up as you’re able to see just a flash of his crotch, light brown hairs decorating his pelvis that come to a head at the end of a sharp, defined ‘v’. In the few seconds, you were able to see a clear outline of his dick pressed firmly into the fabric of his sweats. It looked girthy and he sat so heavy and pretty - the rounded mushroom tip protruding where it rested in the left leg of his pants. There was a darker gray patch near his tip, signaling the problem you’ve suspected him to have since he left your place earlier. He unknowingly continues his show, pulling his ruined shirt over his fluffy hair, flashing his taught abdomen before your very eyes. You could tell he was built under his clothes, and a lot of his time outside of class and hanging out with you was spent in the gym. But the up close viewing on his toned figure was enough to send a heat rushing towards your core as filthy thoughts of him on top of you flash one after the other. He unfortunately turns to find a new shirt, coming back after he finds a white compression tee to smooth over his still damp torso.
He slides the cover left, smiling at the camera with a wave as he announces his return. You clear your throat, trying to refocus your attention to the matter at hand.
“Hey yeah, um - the homework, right. It’s number… 26 on the ‘limits’ assignment,” you explain.
“Read it to me,” he demands, breathing finally stabilized from earlier.
You read the equation, explaining the error you got each time you plugged it into your calculator.
His face lights up, “Oh, yeah! That one was tricky, it’s D though. I’ll explain it in class tomorrow if you want,” he adds, desperate to end the call. While he could look at you eternally, the sensitivity he was experiencing had him nearly ripping the wood from his desk topping with his fingernails.
“Awesome, thank you!” You reply, selecting the correct answer before you minimize the tab, wanting to set the call to full screen for a moment.
“Cho, can I come over tomorrow? I know you said we wouldn’t be able to until Saturday, but I can already tell I’ll be bored tomorrow.”
He’s shocked.
“M-My place? We always go to yours though -,” he answers, glancing around at the state of his room to be met with more of a mess than he remembered.
“Well yeah, but we never go to yours though! Figured it could be fuuunnn,” you add, hoping he doesn’t see right through your real intentions. The intentions you had of ensuring he was taught well, far better than you were able to earlier. You feel as if the dots connected before you - his permanent blushed cheeks he wore so proudly whenever you touched him, the longing look in his eyes as you attempted to explain the basics of self-pleasure, and how frantically he had to leave after said conversation. Even if you were reading into this incorrectly, it would be nothing more than another movie night, which you'd never turn down.
He smiles again, nodding as he says, "You know what? Yeah, yeah that would be fun. Just gotta' tidy up before then," he finishes with a laugh, trying to remind himself that asking you to come over right now might be a step too far.
"Oh you know I don't care Cho, I'll take you however I can get you," you say as you search for the blush you expect to appear - and it does.
"Oh, y/n, he sighs, and the slight desperation in his tone made your stomach drop.
“Um, I know I've already said this today but would you hate me if I got off the call?" He asks, not so subtly seeking your permission. "I need a shower bad, hah," he says, putting emphasis on 'need'.
You give him his sought after permission, waving a quick 'bye' before he does the same, leaving the call with a sigh.
-
You breathe deeply, closing your laptop screen with a huff as you decide to leave the rest of your homework until later. If you had enough sense, you figured Choso was still sat on the other side of his desktop, fingers reaching into his waistband to finish what he had started earlier. You enjoyed the thought, imaging how sweet he'd sound when he found release for the first time.
You knew you had plans to make a move tomorrow, but you didn't want it to fall on deaf ears. If Cho was anything, it was oblivious, you think, remembering the poke of his tummy from earlier when you asked if he had ever touched himself. Bless his heart.
You stand to your dresser, pilfering through the countless pairs of boring underwear and bras to find the stash you usually kept for special occasions. You pulled out a whopping ten pairs of panties, all adorned with different lace patterns, bows, and varying pretty colors. You find two of your favorites - a lacy white pair with a tiny bow on the waistband that's entirely see-through, and a pastel pink thong covered in little hearts. You make sure to grab the matching bras that were thankfully clean. You lay them on the bed behind to you, snapping a quick picture before you return everything to your drawer.
You search through a lower drawer, pulling out two random pairs of shorts and some shirts to match. You quickly throw two outfits together, taking individual pictures of each before you shove everything back into the drawer. You sit back in the bed, snuggling under the covers as you pull up your messages.
‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’
‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’
‘HELLPPP’
‘can’t figure out what to wear for tomorrow❗️’
-
He breathes deeply, steadying himself as he stands to his feet. He still had to finish what he started, and a shower probably wouldn’t hurt with the mess he felt like he might make. He strips his clothes, leaving them in the floor as he makes his way to the bathroom.
He makes sure to bring his phone with him, ringer on and volume fully up. He had missed too many of your messages tonight, and he’d be damned if he missed another. He sits his phone on the nearby shower shelf, double checking the ringer was on.
The hot water quickly fogs the bathroom mirror as he looks down pitifully at his swollen cock, still hard and desperate as it cries for attention. He pictured your sweet face beneath him on your knees, doing the few things he could now imagine clearly. He knew you were the expert between the two of you, and he needed you to be the one to teach him what real pleasure felt like when it was given by your deft hands. He wouldn’t dare think of how sickly sweet it’d feel to rut into your mouth, how earth-shattering it’d be to bully his length deep into the goddess between your legs.
ding!
He’s pulled out of his trance, grabbing his phone with a smile as he sees your contact name shine brightly on the screen. He reads your message, then reads the incoming three, trying not to pick the image with the shorter bottoms - but he truly can’t help himself.
‘ummmmmm lemme think’
‘definitely the second one, the blue is NICE🙂↕️’ he responds, trying to sound like a regular person that was not at all interested in how your curves would sneak out of the bottom of your shorts.
He steps into the shower, shoulders dropping at the relaxing warmth. He hasn’t stopped picturing your face since he’s been home, but you so graciously gave him more eye candy to gawk at with the silly slip of your webcam. The low neckline of your top burned bright in his mind as he reaches his hand down again, wrapping his fingers gently around his width, leaving his thumb pressed softly into the prominent vein on the side. He wanted to try to mimic what he thought your touch would feel like - the brief flashes he got of your pretty hands typing away at your keyboard gave him all the information he needed to work with. He started slowly, dragging his large hand up before he thumbed his dripping slit, whining your name immediately at the contact. He pictures you again with your knee sliding up his thigh, hand firm on his shoulder while you whisper what he wishes were sweet nothings. He continues his soft hold as he strokes himself so sweetly, just like how he imagined you would. The pitiful noises he made earlier are now increasing ten-fold, loud whines echoing in the shower as he chases his release. He didn't realize how close he was already from the previous edging session he just brutally experienced. His cockhead was spitting now, the over-abundance of precum falling in stringy lines to the shower floor. He feels the pull in his groin again, so much quicker than he did last time, and it’s like he knew this was it.
It’s almost like you did, too.
‘ding! ding! ding!’
‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’
‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’
‘but you’ve gotta help me pick the full fit Cho🖤’ you send, internally squealing as you put your phone face down on the bed, forcing yourself to not look at the time he reads the message.
-
He stills his movements slightly, maintaining your his soft grip, reaching with his free hand to his phone, careful not to soak it as he brings it into the shower. The screen recognizes his face instantly, giving him a sneak peek of the lewd images you so graciously sent him as he feels his heartbeat in his ears - his heart rate increases so dramatically, he sees each pump of blood in the outskirts of his field of vision. He pauses for a moment, tightening the grip on his cock before he starts pumping furiously, nearly drunk on the pleasure as he whines breathy cries of your name. He opens the message and his jaw falls open, his pathetic cries of ‘please’ ‘more’ and ‘baby’ reverberating off the shower walls. In a fleeting moment, his balls clench tight to his pelvis and the pressure he felt pooling in his groin now snapped as his hips lurch forward, painting the shower floor white all for you as he tries to stabilize himself by holding onto the wall. He looks down through his almost blacked vision, surprised at the sheer volume of fluid he felt was being ripped from him. He kept cumming even after his hand had stilled, sharp jerks of his cock overstimulating him with each searing hot pump of liquid. He finally finishes with heavy breaths that threaten to turn into cries as he remembers the messages you sent him.
In his daze, he finds his phone wet in his hand as he rushes for his towel, wiping the screen quickly. Your messages still waiting to be answered that were sent a whole… 4 minutes ago.
‘y/n’
‘thank gou’
‘um’
‘areyou really asking me topick?,?’
Thank you? Was he drunk?
‘thank you?’
‘and yes dummy I’m asking you to pick :P’
And his heart quickens again.
‘thank you for sending me that’
‘I likeit a lot’
‘sorrymy pgones wett’
‘the pink one. please.’
He responds, making sure to type the last message clear as day.
‘why is your phone wet you nasty??’ you respond, laughing to yourself at his tangible nervousness that was apparent even via text.
‘showerrrrr’
‘and I don’t even get a pic back? wowww’ you respond, trying to see just how far you could take this before you head to bed for the night. You expect him to respond with a message filled with emojis as he skirts the question.
He finishes his shower quickly, unwilling to ruin his phone in an attempt to take a shower selfie. He steps out and dries off in a hurry, finding a nearby pair of jogging pants as he rushes back to his bedroom, hair dripping cold water down his back.
‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’ *
The warmth between your thighs grows as you selfishly save the image to your camera roll. You expected anything but his forward response - compared to the previous dearth of knowledge of how he looked under his clothes, you felt like he had sent you straight-up pornographic material.
‘you really outdid me, Cho’
‘who knew you were hiding all that?’
‘I’ll have to think of a way to repay you tomorrow 🖤 you’re so good to me’ you dote, knowing his affinity for praise.
He blushes, smiling hungrily as he types his response, wincing at the feeling when his half-hard cock jumped in response to your words.
‘i literally can’t wait’
pt. 2 coming
#fruit punch#fpoc#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#choso smut#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso kamo smut#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#choso x you#choso x y/n#choso fluff#choso my beloved#my baby
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Agares Origin Story Event: Hidden Lore | React/Summary Spoilers
Okay so it took me a few days on this because I like to stack up, considering the chapters for each day is rather short this time around on top of there not being two parts in the beginning as usual. I think because Agares is not a major part of the main story and more of a "here's your rootin' tootin' orange lovin' man and his backstory finally!" kinda thing.
So far, there's....alot to digest for his past because let me start with my original theories from when we first met him in the previous Niflheim event:
🍊He was the OG ruler of Niflheim but gone rogue due to an angel attack that wiped out his subjects 🍊His eye was damaged during that battle 🍊He and Vassago were the only ones left and their dynamic is based on that traumatic experience 🍊He is a part of the 72 and so is Vassago, but their loyalty will never belong to Belphegor due to their past and Agares' royal lineage
So it turns out that I was sorta correct in my theories, but there was a lot of things I was off about upon starting this event including the strange reveal of "him being an illegitimate child of an angel". But we'll get more into that!
Grab ya snacks and tissues, get comfy, it's time to go over the first 5 days of the event!
So it turns out that Beleth, Gusion, and Bathin are doing some cleaning duties around the palace of Niflheim. Normally, it appears that Belphie wouldn't really give a shit about any of that, but here lately Agares and Vassago have been complaining about the trash surrounding the area.
It was agreed between Agares and Belphie that Agares would be recognized as the ruler of the castle, but Belphie of the land itself. Fair, right?
considering most of the fucking country is covered in trash and not the castle.
"Lawd" pffttttttttttttttttttttttttt
I say that a lot, so it makes me laugh. I'm lovin' the speech patterns and dialects chosen for this specific country of Hell as I feel like I'm right at home.
(Quick yap about that: I know when y'all think of 'country' southern speak you think of maybe "King of the Hill" or hick, deep woods "YEAP BILLY BO O'RE YONDER" stuff but not everyone speaks like that depending on where you're at. Texas (gawd awful as it is) has a pretty good variety of Southern dialects due to all the different people that move there. Georgia, specifically "Atlanta" has a very specific dialect too. And don't get me started on anyone trying to understand Creole, normally heard in Lousianna (just listen to Gambit from X-men). This is why you see Belphie call MC/US "Sugar" a lot as this in a general term not really used to show interest or "doting" on you. Any nice southern belle is bond to call ya "sweetheart" "hun" "honey" or even "baby" just because or an older man saying "darlin'" or "ma'am" "little lady" depending on where you go. A lot of people tend to like it, others either feel it's too personal or get offended when it's used because they think they're being hit on. Trust, you'd rather hear that than "bless your heart" because have fun guessing if they actually sympathize with you, or if they're insulting you 💀)
also peep that I call Beel and Belphie "boo" this is usually a term of endearment and can also be used between close friends!
But enough about that. Lol B A C K to the story
So it's always funny to me that devils gossip just like humans do and just as they described them standing around smoking and just talking about Agares randomly has me being like do they do this often? like...really? What's funnier is Beleth's nosey ass was trying to see what they were talking about, Bathin joined in, and Gusion even though pretending he didn't wanna...did it too lol
But we get the scoop on Agares' eye the one that was sliced and diced and how the land was almost sold off to the angels. Apparently this random guard devil's grandaddy from like 4 family lines ago saw it with his own eyes (i'm starting to wonder how considering what we're about to find out...)
So we find out that Agares' left eye (when he's facing us on his right) is the mark of angel, a single silver feather. This marked him as an illegitimate son of an angel, his mother being a devil and living in the palace before she passed. The rumor was that she had an affair, and thus Agares was born. Even Agares had a deep feeling that this was all a ploy by his political enemies that didn't want him to rise to power that is until the mark appeared one night just out of nowhere.
Oh no! Poor bby :(
so since the rumor started he's been having to hide his eye, ashamed that he was the last to know, and his stepmother isn't on his side at all, refusing to even acknowledge or defend him in anyway (because she probably hates him let's be foreal).
Leave him alone????? LIKE *punches air* PROTECT HIMMMMMMM
Everyone ganged up on him, all of them being grown adults and I wanted so badly to fight for him. Even if he IS mixed with angel, the other half of him is STILL devil and he shouldn't be treated like he was.
In particular there was a devil that said "we had our doubts" when we learned in the main story that devils don't doubt each other at all. This leads me to believe that since this is very early Hell, the devils at this time had a different set of practices and rules for themselves, meaning that doubt was not off the table.
A damn shame too, because even his evil bitch of a stepmom told him that only his dead mama would know if he was truly the rightful heir. Also we learned something else that seemed to throw a loop....she...gave birth? (I'm going to assume this meant she got her baby from Lilith and they just called it a "birth" just for face) Also, his dad was conveniently just not there for whatever damn reason so there's that.
So young Agares was thrown to the streets, covered in filth and trash and the background pretty much resembles a typical slum neighborhood. The citizens treated him like filth, the CHILDREN were throwing stones at him. Like...THIS ENTIRE THING HAD ME SCREAMING FOR HIM.
Now this scene right here had me wanting to...I'll refrain from saying it but yeah I was not happy with those kids doing that to him which it was indeed on fucking purpose!
Agares was starving at this point, begging for food, something he never thought he'd do and barely having strength to move or think. Plagued with thoughts about his true parent, why his father wasn't coming to save him, couldn't even cry because it would make him even more hungry. Hell, even finding rotting food was scarce in the part of town that he was in.
These random kids found an orange, and while mocking him gave it to him. He accepted it, thanking them and even offering to repay the "kindness". Only to truly be fooled. The orange was poisoned, causing Agares to puke and pass out on the ground as the children ran away in disgust.
But he's saved by none other than Vassago! He wakes up in an abandoned temple, where Vassago introduces himself. He's the leader of what I'm calling a "cult" because that is what this looks and sounds like honestly, that had been waiting for his arrival. All of the devils have the same horn to the side with jewelry. All of them. I will say that they weren't born that way like Agares was, but perhaps cut off their other horn(s) to match.
We have a small pit stop in the flashback, Gusion wondering why he's just now learning everything about this which to Beleth reminds him that he works late nights so never has time to study about the history of the land. (lol gotta put in those hourssss) They also talk about how Agares wouldn't appreciate his business being told like that and he would strike down anyone he hears gossiping
i mean i would too, like what y'all talkin' about me for? lmao
Also the difference between Beleth calling Agares' temper a "nasty attitude" vs what Gusion considers a nightmare is hilarious to me. It's probably because I mean Beleth used to be in Heaven...there's three HUGE manifestations of a nightmare of a temper living up there and he's probably had to deal with it more than once.
though Beleth mentions the reason is becaue he's always near Belphie, so I'm like yeah that attitude of his because he doesn't feel like doing shit is horrific lmao. Agares is mild.
Btw the dynamic between these three, including Bathin is always so wholesome. They seem to care about one another a bunch especially their workloads, rest, and just wellbeing. Reminds me of those coworkers who are always looking out for you instead of trying to one-up you by being a faux manager looking for a reason to snitch on whatever you're doing.
So we're back to the story, Vassago further explaining himself and we get a peek into what Agares thinks of them.
What I found interesting is that he mentions that he didn't suspect them of being devils based on how they looked but they definitely were angels. He even half expected that angels would be coming to rescue him since he's half angel right? Well...there's a thing about that. They don't obviously and Agares gave up that hope just like his hope that his own father would come and save him.
Vassago goes to explain that the temple is the only thing not covered in trash, but everything else around them is, and only Agares can clean it up. He mentions that Agares is the true King that he and his clan have been waiting for. His clan specifically exists to offer sacred rites for the rulers of the land, but after the incident with Agares being kicked out, they waited silently at the temple for the perfect moment to rise to see him once more.
yup this is a dang cult lol meaning they'd DIE for him, live for him, no matter what it is. giving me Douma from demon slayer vibes or Geto from JJK.
So after some thought, Agares accepted them, had Vassago and his clan be his ears and eyes as they worked to clean up the land.
Now here, I've been trying to wrap my head around it myself on what was trying to be illustrated by seeing him in his "matured" state.
"It was the face of someone who had lived consumed by rage, humiliated and betrayed. A face that now looked nothing like the beautiful young prince everyone once admired."
They mention that this wasn't a face simply shed from boyhood or age or growth. Agares himself doesn't even recognize his own face anymore.
How I interpreted this is, yes time has passed and Agares has gotten older, but that youthful, bright and beautiful face that once had hearts flutter and gain respect and admiration from other devils in the royal family was completely gone. The hopeful, caring Agares that was raised to be a King caring for his people had vanished. It was now replaced with this shell of a man, beaten and bruised and filled with distrust and angst. Was this truly his face? Did he even know what he truly looked like? Or was this another trick of the cruel life he was dealt in his time?
But Vassago comes in just in time to reassure him, and Agares shows that still softer side of himself, grateful for all that he and his clan has done for him this far.
Sweet king. Live and breathe on.
AND THEN we get smacked in the face with another twist around.
Agares ain't no divaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (JOKING PLEASE DON'T SIDE EYE ME)
That's right folks, he's not half angel AT ALL. It was a scheme planned between the devils and angels they were scheming with against Agares....JUST how he suspected in the beginning. Vassago had his point, that this power would had shown at birth.
Now I have a counter argument to that logic, that perhaps since there is no angel/devil hybrids as of yet in that timeframe, that no one can truly know when his or hers powers would show. Sometimes things take time. Though, usually yes...in this case it would have shown up very early and Agares would be a powerhouse. At the same time, we really didn't know what rank of angel his mother interacted with, could have easily been a lower level angel such as Beleth, Leamas(Samael), Jophiel where the powers are so low it probably wouldn't be significant enough to be considered a power. Now if he were part cherubim, that may be more immediate of showing up!
No possible way for him to be part of any higher rank, considering the circumstances.
But knowing Vassgo's background of being over sacred rites, and how much older he is than Agares so knowing more things just from knowledge/experience alone, it is a high possibility that someone just simply put a curse on Agares (similar to how MC has a cursed angel mark on them from Gabriel)
Here we get a cameo back to Mammon's origin story
*waves at Mammon's daddy* heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;)
we also get to see a nice remember of Mammon's fine ass longer hair and his back....mmmm (had him locked in that prison for so long too like how dare...)
The purpose of mentioning Mammon's lore was to have Agares be reminded that angels do whatever the fuck they want essentially. Back then they didn't even bother to hide their unhinged behavior, legit playing in your face kind of way.
IN the end though, this led to Mammon's rise to being a King, a powerful angel being locked away and peace being restored to the land. This story motivates Agares to do the same thing, crawling from the depths of the trash of Niflheim and to rise as it's rightful heir to the throne.
Now, uh he went a bit overboard thinking he was one of the chosen 7 kings, (he didn't know so it's alright) Vassago also mentions that the royals have pretty much fucked the country to all depths of fucked. Law is pretty much nonexistent, money drained, and the devils had become so lazy that they don't want to work, making money by allowing other countries to dump their trash there basically Niflheim is one big damn landfill for hell.
Let me just say that I think this is hilarious that out of all supernatural creatures, demons would have one use items and trash in the first place. But I mean in most forms of media I do see that Hell does function very similar to Earth if not a damn 1:1 mirror. And in WHB's universe Mammon and some of the nobles have always reminded MC that some way or another "Hell did it first" and that it was shown to Earth on how to make their living situations better because that's how they did it.
Neat.
who the fuck invented taxes and showed someone here then like take property taxes away...i know somebody in Tartaros did it.../joking
Now we've reached the part of the story where it gets pretty gorey and fucked up. They explain pretty much everything in detail for this...so if you didn't read it for the event, brace yourself!
Let's start y'all off with a smile from this sweet man. Sigh....oh how I wish that smile could stay on your beautiful face for just a while longer because this next thing is about to become fucking depressing.
The first day out in months, Agares decided to go clean up the trash around the land on his own for the day, determined and motivated. Only to come back...seeing that his beloved new family and loved ones have been crushed. Vassago's clan was completely wiped out.
What happened is that assassin's were sent to get rid of them and Agares in one swoop. The clan knew of this attempt, creating a fake Agares to trick said assassins, taking the hit. As I said before...they were ready to sacrifice themselves FOR him to protect him.
But this...awakened something in Agares.
Before that though I will share what he saw:
"Beneath the fallen structure, scattered like discarded debris amongst the dead, were the bodies of Vassago's clan. Their clothes were torn, and their faces were so disfigured they could no longer be recognized."
He found Vassago thankfully amongst the wreckage, the wisps of smoke that surrounded him being the main thing that led Agares to his location.
After speaking with Vassago about the demise of his clan and learning that those who truly loved him and looked out for him had passed on while those who raised him casted him out....
Yeah...when I said awakened....I meant it. A well fucking deserved crash out.
He is pretty much gone to the point of no return, the Agares that we see now that's nothing but a hollow ball of cruelty and anger. He had been pushed so far the monster brewing inside him was released. Any forms of Agares we've seen prior to this point were now lost in this deep rage.
Oh there's a storm comin' alright....y'all really in for it.
Literally me pretending to not see him comin' if I was asked to guard the gate. Go on right through sir, I ain't gonna stop ya.
That concludes the first half of Agares' origin story, y'all! So far, it's been fucking angsty, and just as we've seen in previous event stories, a bunch of the nobles have been through some kind of traumatic event even as children (Andrealphus being the most memorable so far) and damn like the writers for this stuff are on the same level as me when I start getting into my "lets write the most traumatic ass back story for character growth and have them wonder if I truly love my OCs or not"
So there's three days left as of now for the event, and I'm just wondering how it's all gonna climax or what's going to happen in the end. There are things we know now that we didn't before
🍊Agares is not half angel 🍊Vassago is older than him, and is a leader of a clan(cult) 🍊Agares' dad has fucked off somewhere and left him with an evil stepmother 🍊The angels learn from mistakes, meaning they get more crafty each time the devils find ways to stop them from scheming 🍊Agares did have a soft side to him, it's buried in there beneath all of the trauma. Though it's probably going to be damn near impossible to get that out from him again
I know I don't see too many folks talking much about this event, probably due to being more interested in Asmo's card, or just the "eh" mood of not really being into Niflheim's lore as much as the other nations in Hell. Well either way, I'm over here still trying to do a mental timeline for when all this shit happened in the first place. Lol.
Anyways, thank y'all for sitting through another event react! Stay tuned for the second part here in the next few days. -> Click here for the second part!
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Yapping abt c!clownzy bc none of my friends want to hear about them anyways. honestly the thing about clownzy that makes it work so well isn’t that branzy is just nice to clown (even tho he is) or that they get along (even tho they do), but that branzy is one of the only people who manages to be both vulnerable with and nonthreatening to clown in a way clown seems deeply, almost subconsciously starved for.
like clown’s whole deal across lifesteal has been built on a paradox: he’s the strongest, and that strength isolates him, but he also needs that strength to matter. he doesn’t really trust people- he can’t, because trusting people gets you killed, but also because i think on a deeper level he’s afraid of what would happen if he stopped being necessary. if people didn’t need him, would they still want him? would he still have a place?
and that’s where branzy comes in. bc branzy, unlike a lot of other players, doesn’t try to prove he’s just as capable or just as scary. he’s competent, yeah- like, don’t underestimate him- but he never tries to posture like a rival. instead, he leans into the dynamic, into the asymmetry. he lets clown be the protector. he wants clown around. and not just for the strength- he seems to genuinely enjoy clown’s presence, even when clown is being off-putting or strange or, y’know, a little murdery.
branzy is kind of the only person who can make clown feel like he’s safe while still being needed. most players make clown choose one or the other. with branzy, he gets both. and branzy, for all his softness, isn’t weak. like, there’s a real core of vindictiveness in him, this willingness to retaliate when pushed too far, but that only deepens the connection. because clown respects that. he doesn’t want to babysit someone helpless; he wants someone who chooses to rely on him, who’s capable but still says, "i want you next to me."
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