#sometimes my unconscious give me the best idea

[ssantisheep]

Okay so last night i dreamed that in jjk kids were bonding with Gods to like fight evil people and like through an error in summoning Yuuji summoned and bonded with Sukuna who pretended to be the Gods of Sweet. In reality Sukuna was the God of pleasure. You know, especially flesh pleasure ? Sex but also War kinda deal. It is kind of nebulous but now i kinda want to write it!!

[miabebe]

Reverse Trope Series - Accidently Kidnpping A Mafia Boss (Teaser)

Kidnapping the Yoon Jeonghan was not on your 2024 bingo but sometimes, shit happens right?

Pairing - Yoon Jeonghan x afab!reader

Word Count - Teaser is 1.3K, I'm not gonna promise a number for the full fic just yet

Genre - Strangers to something more than that I guess? Crack because there’s ‘dumb’, ‘dumber’, ‘dumbest’, and ‘dumbest of them all’ so you can imagine and also angst, just a small splash and smut. Loads of it (not here but in the full fic)

Warnings - none for the teaser, mentions of kidnapping and mafia. (But just to be clear, this is not like your usual mafia fics - it’s not dark, there’s no violence and things of that sort)

Estimated posting date - I have a shit ton on my plate right now so I don’t want to stress myself out with a deadline! If you want to be in the loop, please follow me or join the taglist by commenting, sending a message or an ask, thank you!

Thank you @taechwita613 for bearing my annoying self yet again 💕

"You're being a real pain in my ass right now." 

"I don't see how it’s an issue since that’s not much of an ass." 

Seokmin glared at Seungkwan.

"Just because some stupid college club awarded you a silly superlative-"

"-best bakery in town is not a ‘silly’ superlative-"

"-like once-"

"-twice. In a row-" 

"-doesn't mean-" 

"-absolutely does-" 

"Will you two shut up?" You hissed under your breath looking around. "Are you trying to get us all caught?" 

Seungkwan clicked his tongue annoyed. "You're acting like we're in the middle of a crime." 

Your eyes flickered from Seokmin to Seungkwan before landing on the third guy between them, the one who was unconscious and being held up with his arms thrown over the shoulders of your friends. 

"Last I checked, kidnapping is a crime." You pointed out.

Seokmin rolled his eyes. "Pranking your friend isn't."

"That is if Soonyoung decides he wants to save your sorry ass."

"Again, not much of an ass-" 

"I swear to god Kwan-" 

Groaning you covered your ears to shut out all the bickering. 

That night when drunk Soonyoung had pushed your buttons, consequently leading to the events of tonight, you did not think it would be this hard. 

The plan was simple - on Mondays Soonyoung was in charge of closing the BBQ shop where all 3 of your closest friends worked part time. His routine was fairly straightforward - first he clears and cleans all the tables, then he closes the kitchen, then changes out of his uniform and finally wraps it up by locking the main door. 

That's where you would get him, right as he closed the doors. You were to take him by surprise from the back, cover his face with a black cloth bag then bring him to your apartment and tie him up leaving him immobile, blinded and helpless. 

One might wonder why such cruelty when you called him a friend but you would argue that Soonyoung deserved it. After all that night, he hadn't stopped mentioning how you were boring and your life was so uninteresting and you didn't have a single exciting adventure while he had a shit ton of them. Well, today you were about to give yourself, and him, a story to tell.

Now things did go according to plan, for the most part. Seokmin and Seungkwan were first reluctant to be a part of this madness but that was until you brought up the prospect of Soonyoung being scared enough to hopefully piss in his pants. Intrigued by the idea, they joined and all three of you waited in the bushes, watching your friend's silhouette moving around the shop, putting things away, cleaning up. Just as he reappeared after changing, hurriedly trying to leave the shop, the three of you got to action, approaching him silently from the back, swiftly holding him by the hands and putting the bag over his face. 

What you didn't take into account in this plan was just how much resistance Soonyoung would show, God knows why you didn't consider his adrenaline driven reaction, but man did he put up a fight. It was only natural you retaliate and so instinctively, you landed a smack on his head with the torch in your hand knocking him out, making him buckle into the pavement as the two other boys caught him, looking at you bewildered.

That was perhaps just the beginning of your problems because now you had to very unsuspiciously drag a very unconscious man to your apartment in the dead of the night. It would have helped if this neighbourhood was even a little sketchy but being a quiet, painfully uneventful suburb meant even the smallest of things was seen with high scrutiny. 

So far, the three of you had somehow managed to make it from the restaurant to your building undetected but it was getting from the first floor to your house that was the real task since the building's resident old woman decided she wanted to feed the stray cats at 2 am. 

"How much longer are we gonna have to do this?" Seungkwan groaned. "He's surprisingly not that heavy but my arm is starting to sleep."

"Yeah, this joke isn't as funny anymore-" 

"Will you two just keep quiet?" You turned to them annoyed. "She'll be gone in a few minutes and then we can move. Didn't you guys say you wanted Soonyoung to shut up for a few days?” 

Seokmin mumbled a yes under his breath while Seungkwan nodded hesitating. Hoping for some silence after this, you turned to watch the old woman stroking the cat softly as it slowly nibbled its food. Although your patience was really being tested, something told you if you didn't go through this plan, in another 40 years, you'd be exactly like that old lady - lonely, boring and feeding stray cats. Terrified by that thought, you held it together even though it took a whole 15 minutes for the scene to clear. As the three, no four of you, proceeded towards your apartment, the stray cat watched, licking its paw. 

Seungkwan and Seokmin groaned in relief as they half threw Soonyoung onto the chair you pulled to the middle, rubbing their aching shoulders. Scouring the drawers, you pulled out a rope with a soft “aha” making them turn towards your unnaturally happy self. Soonyoung stirred in his chair.

“You're a little too excited about this-” 

“Shhh!” You covered Seokmin's mouth with your hand, whispering. “If you talk, he'll know it's us, then it's not scary anymore.”

“Frankly, I think the kidnapping and knocking him out cold must have been scary enough already.”

“Not enough” You glared as Soonyoung let out a soft groan, letting you know he was coming around. “Quick, take my phone and open that AI app. We'll type what we want to say and use the bot voice - that way he'll have no idea.” 

All three of you huddled, glancing at the phone as Seungkwan typed something quickly, pressing play to let the low toned automated voice echo through the room. 

“I cannot wait to see Soonyoung shit his pants.”

Seokmin giggled as your lips curled into a pleased smile. Oh, he was surely going to shit his pants. 

“And why would I do that?” Soonyoung's voice sounded confused.

“Because we-” 

Seokmin looked up, freezing mid-sentence, noticing the voice did not come from the person before him. 

All three of you exchanged looks realising the same before slowly turning around. Soonyoung  was standing at the entrance like he just walked in, looking bewildered. 

Before any of you could process the situation, he pointed over your shoulders, frowning.

“And who's that?”

Oh. 

“And why is he wearing my clothes?” 

Oh no.

You turned back to see the man in question, slowly pull the black bag from over his head, shaking his golden tresses away from his face. Oh lord was he gorgeous. 

As he blinked his eyes open, wondering where the hell he was, you were busy running your eyes all over his pretty features and suddenly, in that short span of 20 seconds, you had memorised where every single mole on his face was. 

Seokmin and Seungkwan held your arms on either side half hiding behind you which was stupid considering you were the biggest coward in the room. 

But somehow, as the man before you looked at all of you with narrowed, accusing eyes and tried to stand up, you swung your arm and smacked him right on the head with the torch again. All three boys gawked at you as the man fell back into the chair again, head rolling to the side, unconscious. 

“What the hell mate-”

“I'm sorry I panicked!”

“Will someone tell me what's happening? Why is he wearing my clothes-”

“Shut up Soonyoung.” Seungkwan turned to you looking terrified. “Do you have any idea what you've done?” 

“Hey, this can't be just on me, we all thought it was Soonyoung-” 

“Me???” 

“-how is this my only fault-” 

“Because!” Seungkwan raised his voice pointing a shaking finger. “The man you just knocked out again, that's…that's….”

“That's…” Seokmin's eyes widened in realisation. “That's the city’s most wanted criminal, Yoon Jeonghan.” 

A/n -I have tagged all those on the current taglist in the comments, if you wanna be added to the taglist for the fic or for the series, please let me know by leaving a comment/sending an ask or a message!

[sanspuppet]

♡ 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛 𝑱𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚 ~

SUGGESTIVE - MDNI

IMPORTANT: i took inspiration from this post for Riize wrote by @luvjii, i found the idea really cool and i wanted to make my version for Ateez :3

✰ HONGJOONG

Jealousy meter: 60%

Hongjoong is a very mature person in love, even though he likes to act silly and funny with you, he’s very serious about your relationship. Joong trusts you blindly, because he perfectly knows that you only love him, but honestly he still gets annoyed easily when another member is in your close vicinity. He’d head towards you and your friend, grabbing your waist as he arrives from behind. He’d ask you innocently what were you talking about and involve himself in your conversation. When you two are finally alone in his dorm, Hongjoong would pin you at the bed, his hands holding down your wrists. “You and Seonghwa seem very into each other, would you be into some good sex, now?”

✰ SEONGHWA

Jealousy meter: 55%

Seonghwa’s a very soft lover, he gives his heart and passion to anything he does for you. So, obviously he really loves when you give him complete attention. Hwa usually doesn’t get jealous, but requests lots of affection from you, and when you unconsciously don’t give him much, or worse, you give it to another member, he’s initially concerned, and if you don’t get it and keep doing whatever you’re doing with his friend, he’d get very annoyed about it. Seonghwa wouldn’t stop you though, he’d watch you two from a corner, with his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed, until the other member leaves. Once you finally reach him and sit on his lap like nothing has happened, his grip on your waist almost hurts. “You love me. Don’t you? Prove it. Ride me”

✰ YUNHO

Jealousy meter: 70%

Many atinys picture him as a cute puppy (which he is) but i also think he’s the type to be easily jealous of you and with who do you spend time with. He’d be to your side in every moment when you’re in public, making sure no one stays too close to you. Mingi unfortunately, isn’t aware of that, and because he’s Yunho’s best friend he mindlessly interacts with you, like… a lot. He doesn’t even think of it too much before showing physical affection to you, which honestly bothers Yunho if he exaggerates. If it would be for another member, he’d be quite shy, but if it comes to be Mingi, he doesn’t mind to suddenly take you to his bedroom and fuck you senseless, letting his friend hear who you do you belong to. “Yeah, keep moaning like that. Mingi’s probably getting off to this, too. What a horny man, fuck”

✰ YEOSANG

Jealousy meter: 30%

I feel like he’s not the type to get jealous, he’s chilling when you’re around other members, and as long as he’s there with you, he doesn’t have that much problem with you getting close to his friends. By the way, if at the end of the day, he didn’t get much attention from you, he’d be a little demoralized, thing that you usually notice so you try to fix his mood by having some intimate time with him, to make him feel that he’s the one. “Baby, can we cuddle a little?” when you start to rub your hips against his crotch while making out, you feel him getting harder with every second. “Princess, I need to be inside you”

✰ SAN

Jealousy meter: 80%

I think we can all agree that San would be the most likely to become jealous, even from innocents interactions. You’re his princess, his whole world, and let’s say that he doesn’t like to share you at all. He’s sorry that sometimes it would seem almost toxic but he’d like you to himself every time. When you’re very close to another member he easily starts to get annoyed. He’d bite his cheeks and tense his muscles watching your skin stroking his friend’s one. After some minutes he’d wrap his arm around you, and greet the member in a bothered tone. “Do i need to remember you you’re mine? Should i mark you then? Cover you with my bites and breed you full?”

✰ MINGI

Jealousy meter: 65%

Mingi loves you, a lot. So seeing you spending much time with any other member would annoy him after not so much. Even though he likes to show you off, especially when you’re wearing clothes that accentuate your body, he doesn’t like when his friends getting a little flirty and complimenting you. So basically, he’s jealous but doesn’t want you to feel it. He’d simply wait for you to be finally alone and relieve his stress by fucking you dumb. “You’re too beautiful to be seen like this by any other guy, i wanna fuck you raw, can i?”

✰ WOOYOUNG

Jealousy meter: 65%

Wooyoung would either get jealous or turned on by seeing you very close to one of his friends. Sometimes he just wants to be there instead of the member and have you stroking his skin, so he gets annoyed about it, sometimes he imagines himself instead of the guy and gets suddenly horny. In both cases, you two end up having the most amazing sex. “Fuck, how can you always be so sexy? Spread your legs baby, let me see how wet you are”

✰ JONGHO

Jealousy meter: 70%

Yeah, i personally think he’d get easily jealous. You’re too precious to him and doesn’t even like to think that his friends could get attracted by you. In facts, he usually hates when the members compliment your look or touch you slightly. He’d grip your side with his hand and give a bothered look to the guy in front of the both of you. “Hyung, can you please stop flirting with her?” the frustration would be noticeable even the same night, where his touches feel more cold and but also desperate. “Baby, i need to fuck you. You’re too pretty and i don’t want anyone to touch you like hyung did today.”

[wosoragebaiter69]

you don’t have to be perfect

barça fem x teen!reader, lucy bronze x teen!reader

request: here

A/N: also i would just like to say, if anyone has any feedback for my writing it’s greatly appreciated cuz i’m not the best writer ik that but i want to improve.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was apart of the contract I first signed with Barcelona that I continue my studies and finish school. Not ideal, but I get by with around 80% and sitting on a B for most my classes. What I didn’t factor in was the amount of stress I would have on top of the League and UWCL games when exams and assignments from 6 different classes were coming up. That’s hard on a 17 year old.

I felt myself start to drift away from everyone in the 2 weeks before mayhem. First it was denying to go out with the younger girls like Salma and Vicky, both of whom understood. Vicky being the same age as me and Salma only 2 years older than us. Then as expectations rose, classes became longer and filled extra information. All the time I wasn't on the pitch, I was studying. Or sleeping. (we dont talk about how even thats being cut down to maximum 5 hours a night).

Living with Lucy meant that she was bound to catch on to what was happening. It was inevitable. She took me under her wing when I first arrived along with some of the older girls and since I don’t speak Spanish natively, I was told to go with Lucy who was told to keep an eye on me. It’s nice, when you don’t want her to worry about how you’re ignoring everyone and have bags under your eyes whenever she sees you. She really does try her hardest to get me to do anything that’s not over analysing and over-studying the numerous topics, but no matter how much it pains me. I always turn her down.

After another night of studying until 2am, there’s an early morning training session and I know I’ve only gotten 4 hours of sleep. If I told the medical staff I’m sure they’d pale.

I’m aware that I probably look like death walking, but it doesn’t bother me. If I pass with above average grades, I’m happy and I know my actual parents will be too. I ignore the concerned looks that Irene and Alexia give Lucy, and get changed ready for the training session.

It’s gruelling, the lack of sleep from the past 2 weeks has finally started to catch up. When I least needed it to. Maybe I am working too hard. It’s too late for that though. I know I’m being watched by the captains, acting for a little bit longer won’t do much harm. Can it?

When the third water break rolls around, I sit on the floor and flop onto my back, closing my eyes. Too tired in the moment to do anything other than breathe. The sunshine above me dulls as Lucy and Alexia stare down at me. When I open my eyes. My captain has a raised brow, while my roommate has her arms crossed.

“Y/N, get up please. Now.” It’s Lucy who speaks first. I don’t give in. What’s their problem?

“No. I am fine where I am thank you very much.” I bite back. Lucy looks like she’s trying to hold herself together and Alexia looks furious. Unconsciously, I sink into myself hoping the ground could swallow me up.

“Nena, we won’t ask again.” The spaniard says, her voice low as she sticks out her hand.

I reluctantly take it, pulling myself up and staring at the two in front of me.

“Come.” Alexia says blankly, leaving no room for argument before walking toward the main building. I sigh, doing as she says or I know I won’t hear the end of it. Lucy trails just behind me, her jaw set and making sure I don’t run away.

When inside I’m placed on a couch, wishing and praying to any extra-terrestrial being that I can leave this confrontation. What is it even about? Why am I here? I’ve done nothing wrong.

“So, we noticed you’ve been pushing people out. You also look dead.” Classic Alexia, straight to the point.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I look away.

“Really? Because when I go to bed, which is around midnight and sometimes 1 if I’m doing other work. Your light is always on. You better fess up now before we make you do extra laps, and clear all the equipment from training.” It’s Lucy this time, starring daggers into me. Still, I don’t let up.

“Maybe I left the light on.” I shrug. “And why do we have to do this right now? I have 2 exams tomorrow. So, if I may. Let’s finish training so I can get to study and do other things.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about Y/N. You’re deflecting absolutely everything we say. You’re not taking the information in. I get you’re stressed but that doesn’t mean you isolate yourself.” She pauses, sighing deeply. “We are going home right now. You will not touch your school work, this has gone on for long enough. I know Alexia agrees with me.”

“Before you argue, just think. Is this really the best way I could’ve prepared? Yes nail in, do the study for good results. But also remember to utilise the support system you have, the team, the coaches, take a break.” By the end of the rant I feel tears well in my eyes. I feel someone hug me and I can tell who it is by the obscurely large hands.

“Nena, go home with Lucy. Get some rest, and not only will you feel better but it gives your brain a break. When the week is over we can talk more but for now go.” The Catalan smiles warmly. I nod my head saying thanks before walking with Lucy to the car.

“Do you feel alright? You do look very pale.” She places her hands against my face and frowns. “No temperature. I’ll get some food into you and we’ll have a rest day. Just us.” I nod slowly staring out of the window as my mind races.

When we get to the apartment, no conversation is made and I immediately go and take a shower. It’s there that I cry and let all my frustrations out, the stress finally taking its toll on my mind.

When I’m dressed and ready I walk out to the smell of pancakes and Lucy sitting on the couch with Narla next to her. She hears me and turns her head around, eyebrows furrowing at the state I’m in.

She pats the open spot next to her which isn’t taken by the Westie and hands me a plate, which I accept gratefully.

It’s a comfortable silence, but I know she’s waiting for me to say anything. And this time, I do.

“I’m sorry Luce.” My voice is quiet and more high pitched compared to what it normally sounds like.

She smiles lightly.

“Hey, these things happen. You’re smart, just as Alexia said give your mind a rest and you’ll do better. Myself, Keira, the rest of the team only want the best for you and your well-being. Let’s not talk about this now, take it step by step. You’ll be ok.” I nod wiping freshly formed tears as she pulls me into a big hug, giving the rest of her pancake to Narla who eats it happily.

- - - - -

And ok it would be. I end up playing Fifa with Lucy the rest of the day before eventually falling asleep against her. As for the exams, I pass by with good grades and after everything’s done the team takes me out to a restaurant to celebrate. As much as I deny it, this team is the most important thing to me. I love and adore them all so much.

[unboundprompts]

writing a fic where blorbo is poisoned and blorbo in love with her has to take care of her, ideas for how i could get this across?

I would recommend doing some research on the poison involved so that it's as realistic as possible. In a fantasy/sci-fi setting you can probably make up your own poison and choose the symptoms and treatment you deem the best for the situation. Here are some ideas to help you with that:

General Symptoms of Poison

-> from this source.

Stomach Pain

Feeling Nauseous/Being Sick

Drowsiness

Dizziness

Weakness

High Temperature

Chills (shivering)

Loss of Appetite

Headache

Irritability

Difficulty Swallowing

Breathing Difficulties

Skin Rash

Blue Lips and Skin

Double Vision/Blurred Vision

Sudden, Noticeable Heartbeats (Palpitations)

Mental Confusion

Seizures

Loss of Consciousness

Treatment

-> seeking medical help is also a good idea. The best idea probably.

-> from this source.

If they are poisoned by swallowing something, try to get them to spit out anything that is remaining in their mouth.

If they are unconscious and swallowed something, try to wake them to encourage them to spit out anything left in their mouth. Do not put your hand into their mouth and do not try to make them sick.

If the poison is on their skin or clothes, remove their clothes and wash the affected area with warm or cool water. Be careful not to contaminate yourself.

Lay the person on their side with a cushion behind their back and their upper leg pulled slightly forward so that they do not fall on their face or roll backwards. (Recovery Position)

If vomiting, keep their head pointed down to prevent them from breathing it in or swallowing it. Do not give them anything to eat or drink.

If they have stopped breathing or their heart has stopped, perform CPR.

It is important to know what substances you think the person may have swallowed, when it was taken, why it was taken, how it was taken, and how much was taken.

Any existing medical conditions prior to being poisoned are important to be aware of, as it may impact their recovery/ the poison may have effects on their condition.

Activated Charcoal - sometimes used to treat someone who's been poisoned. It binds to the poison and stops it being further absorbed into the blood.

Antidotes - these are substances that either prevent the poison from working or reverse its effects.

Sedatives - may be given if the person is agitated.

Ventilator (breathing machine) - may be used if the person stops breathing.

Anti-epileptic medicine - may be used if the person has seizures.

Writing Prompts For a Character Being Poisoned

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

"Hey, hey, hey," she was lightly tapping his face, his head lulled to the side. "Open your eyes," she said to him gently, her heart sinking with each passing second. "Wake up, I need you here with me."

She had trouble keeping her eyes open. The room was spinning. She felt so weak. All she could hear was their voice, as if they were far away, telling her not to fall asleep.

They had this awful marking on their skin. It crawled across their shoulders and peeked out from underneath their shirt at the sleeves and neck. She thought it looked like it was getting worse every day, slowly blossoming across their skin. "It's not as bad as it looks," they said, trying to make her feel better. The raspiness of their voice and pale complexion did not fill her with hope.

"Your heart is pounding," she said, pressing a hand to his chest. His skin was feverish, warmth radiating off of him. Yet, he shivered as if he were freezing. "Only because I get nervous around you," he responds, a flirty tilt to his voice. They both knew that wasn't the only reason, but she smiled anyway.

"Will you eat something? For me?" They shook their head miserably. "I can't."

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider donating! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi!

[slayingfiction]

How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.

Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.

I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!

Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.

Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.

Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.

This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.

Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!

Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.

Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.

Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.

Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.

Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!

Happy Writing!

[tookthe-405]

Hard to sleep

bsf!ellie x bsf!reader

Masc!ellie x fem!reader

summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)

It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪

(Happy End)

c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!

authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”

You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.

“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.

“Holy fuck”

You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.

“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”

You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.

“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”

“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”

You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.

Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.

“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.

“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”

“Um I do?”

You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.

You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.

You just don’t want to fuck this up.

“You should wear a skirt today”

“Huh?”

Ellie appears in the door.

“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again

“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”

Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”

“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine

Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.

“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”

“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”

“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”

You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.

It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.

That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.

“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”

Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.

And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.

You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.

“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”

Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.

But she just keeps walking and looking forward.

“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”

Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.

“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.

Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.

You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.

“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.

“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.

“Iris. I sit with her in biology”

“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.

Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.

“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”

Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.

Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.

Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.

“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.

Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.

“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.

You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.

“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”

“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”

“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”

She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?

“Okay she’ll be there”

“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.

“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”

“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting

“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.

“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.

“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.

It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.

“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.

“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.

“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”

“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”

“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.

Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.

You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.

The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.

You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.

You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.

“Fuck” you whisper annoyed

You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.

I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay

What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?

I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party

You don’t have to do that Ellie

I get it really

I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?

I can hear you say this in my head

Shut up and get ready dork

You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.

In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.

You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.

There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.

You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.

You smile excited and do a little spin.

“is this okay?” You ask her

“Pretty. You look very pretty”

You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.

Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.

“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.

She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.

A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.

Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.

“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”

You whisper in her ear

“I love you too…”

You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.

“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”

“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”

Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.

“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.

Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.

It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.

Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.

“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.

She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.

“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”

“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.

“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip

You take a step back and look at her really mad now.

“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.

You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.

“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”

Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.

“Don’t fucking Touch me.”

And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.

You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.

You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.

You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.

After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.

Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.

You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.

“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.

“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.

“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”

You look at her with your mouth a bit open.

Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.

“Yes… yeah sure why not”

The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.

You Open a window and lean on to the wall.

“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.

The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.

“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.

“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.

You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.

You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.

“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.

“No but I don’t smoke often”

“Hm”

“Sorry what’s your name?”

She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.

“Abby”

“Nickname?”

“Yeah for Abigail”

“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.

“Thank you… so what do you study?

“Psychology” I murmur

Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.

“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.

“No, general”

“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”

You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.

“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.

“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.

“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”

And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.

“Pre-med”

“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.

“You might become a fucking doctor”

She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.

“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.

You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.

Fuck this woman has some muscles.

You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.

“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.

Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.

You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.

She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.

“What the fuck?”

Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.

“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”

You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.

But never this mad.

“We’re going”

Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.

“Sorry but you can’t just do that”

“You don’t know shit”

Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.

“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”

Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.

You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.

“Get in” she hisses

You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.

“Ellie-“

“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”

She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.

The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.

You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.

You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.

“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”

Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.

“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“

“I would always choose you”

This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.

“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”

Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.

She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.

You’ll choose each other.

You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.

“I want you to kiss me-“

She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.

If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.

And you would still kiss each other over and over again.

Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.

Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.

“Wait - wait”

She stopped immediately.

“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.

Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.

“I couldn’t do it”

“Couldn’t do what?”

Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face

“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”

Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.

“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”

Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.

“Give me a second”

You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.

Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed

And don’t worry about Ellie

Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.

“You’re okay with sleeping here?”

Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.

“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”

You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.

“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.

“N-no im fine Are you fine?”

You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.

“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.

“Yes I can do that”

You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.

“Can you open my dress for me?”

She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.

The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.

Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.

The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.

A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.

The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.

Her eyes wander over your whole body.

Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.

Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.

“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.

You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.

“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.

She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.

“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.

Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.

It’s all you ever wanted.

All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.

You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.

Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.

“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.

You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”

Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.

Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.

For a while both of you almost fought about the control.

“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.

But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.

Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.

“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.

You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.

“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.

Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.

“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.

It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.

Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.

“Here”

Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.

“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.

The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.

You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.

Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.

You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.

She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.

“I really love these fuck” she whispers

The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.

“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.

“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.

“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“

the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.

“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.

Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.

Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.

She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.

Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.

“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.

“Nothing just happy to be here”

You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.

“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.

Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.

“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“

Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.

“You taste so good, just like I imagined”

Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.

“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”

You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.

“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.

Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.

The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.

Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.

“Ellie- please don’t stop”

She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.

“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.

“Fuck- so close god-“

She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.

“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.

“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”

You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.

You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.

When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.

“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”

You said chuckling.

“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.

“Ew ellie”

“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.

You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.

“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.

“Ellie is this just-“

“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.

“What”

“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”

Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.

She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.

You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.

“I also love you… that for a while as well”

A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭

And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!

Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!

[successfulgoddess333]

Give up, Stop trying

What’s up

I see you there

Procrastinating

“Let me try again tomorrow”

You say

Yeah that’s all you’re ever gonna do

Is try

So give up

Give up on the idea of

“Trying”

What are you “trying” to do?

You’re probably procrastinating right this moment

You say you want it so bad

Stop allowing your fear of failure to hold you back

Right now I want you to

Write down

Or simply say aloud

The things you feel when you

“Don’t succeed”

Are you upset?

Are you tired?

Are you sleepy?

Are you mad?

Why?

Why do you feel this way?

Is it because you are “trying so hard?”

That’s the problem

You’re upset because you’re “trying”

Trying doesn’t mean failure

But it allows you to believe that you might

Nikes slogan isn’t “Just do it” for no reason

Just do it

It doesn’t say just try it?? Does it?

If you try to open something

You can’t because it’s hard

So you give up

This is the mindset of someone

Who “tries”

Not saying we don’t ever try something in our lives like a date or a meal etc that’s different

but in this particular situation

Trying means you’re allowing yourself to either succeed or fail

Trying is like this or that

Succeed or fail

“I guess I’ll try”

Translates to

“I might fail but let’s wing it”

Stop trying just do

And you know what procrastination is

You’re not lazy

You DO want your dream life

You’re procrastinating because of your fear of failure

But that fear comes from

Your belief that you always have to “try”

You fear not succeeding

This is why you procrastinate

Procrastination is fear disguised as laziness

You think you’re lazy

But you’re not

You procrastinate because something in your life or in your head

Is holding you back

With the power you obtain

You cannot allow any stress to take over YOUR life to address this procrastination address whatever it is stressing you out

Whether it’s a person

Mental health etc

Start off small

You don’t “try” to shower of eat right

Say what you’re going to do

Then do it

All day

“I’m gonna shower”

Go shower

“I’m gonna eat”

Go eat

Keep doing this

You can’t fail at showering or eating

You do it effortlessly you’re subconsciously programmed to do this

But guess what

You’re also subconsciously programmed to enter the void state

Keynote

That “entering” the void is a phrase

It does not literally mean you’re entering

You’re not going anywhere

You’re experiencing the void the same way you experience you sleeping

When you dream you’re not actually going to those places

You experience it

Just like you can become aware if you’re dreams (lucid dreams)

Even when you’re not lucid dreaming

You still are unconsciously aware that it’s happening

This is why sometimes you remember your dreams

If you can remember it

You experienced it

The void is an experience

Not a place

You’re becoming aware that it exists

Because it does

When your body experiences 3D symptoms like floating or spinning etc

Why we say to ignore

Because this reality

You’re always experiencing it

What you’re trying to experience is the 4D

So why focus on the reality you DON’T you want to experience

So back to the procrastination

So at night

Say

“I’m going into the void”

By breaking this habit

You’ll feel refreshed knowing that you WILL get in the void

Because the whole day you were saying exactly what you were gonna do

And you did it

The habit is broken

No procrastination = No trying

How many tests have you aced by not procrastinating and studying?

And by not procrastinating you are allowing yourself to only succeed

And when you “try”

What happens

You feel floaty

Then you’re awake or you fall asleep

You think to yourself

“The void isn’t real”

“Why do I keep falling asleep?”

“Ugh my head hurts”

These are 3D reactions

Because how can your 3D mind

Understand the 4D mindset?

Live in your imagination

Be in tune with the 4D

This is the reality that’s got everything you want this is like your soulmate your best friend or lover tend to this reality

Stay there

Bring it to this reality

Much love🩵🩵

[kakujis]

do you love me?;

synopsis: waking them up at 3am just to ask if they love u. pt 2 here. 3 4

warnings: clingy reader, pet names, slightly suggestive in yuzuha's, but besides that none really! no set timeline. gn!reader. not proofread!

feat: mikey, baji, yuzuha.

a/n: this is so cute in theory, but i would probably fight if this happened to me irl!! anyways, i was sad and wanted to write somethin' cute. also, my first time writing for my yuzuha n i lost my mind.. expect more of her in the future!

mikey:

“manjiro..” you whisper, poking softly at his sleeping face. you knew this was a dumb idea, but sometimes you really just needed to hear it, something that would set your heart at ease. something only mikey could say. 

“mm.” is all you get, as you try to rustle him from sleep. he sleeps on his stomach, hair falling around his face like a curtain as his cheek presses against the pillow. 

“maaanjiroo.” you try again, voice a little louder this time as you poke his cheek even harder, dragging out the call of his name, giggling as you note the give of his plush skin indenting where your finger marks. so cute and so soft. 

“what?” mikey groans, shifting in his dream-like state so that he’s facing away from you, clearly annoyed. he pulls the blanket further over him as he does this, wanting to tune you out. he can’t help it, he’s sleepy. 

but you persist, moving closer and wrapping your arms around his covered form, eliciting another noise from him, but this time not so irritated. 

“i love you.” you murmur, resting your cheek on his shoulder and peering down at the tufts of blond hair peeking from beneath the fabric. “i love you sooo much, like i wanna explode when i look at you type of love.” 

you wait a moment before you pull the blanket down slightly. is he really not gonna say it back? you pull him down, forcing him onto his back. you pout, when you make eye contact with him. drowsy, black eyes peer up into yours with a dust of red on the tops of his cheeks. 

“do you love me, mikey?” you whisper, a little hurt he still hasn’t said it yet. 

he nods, before he brings his hands up to cup your cheek. “yeah, i love you a lot.” he gives a languid smile and you beam. 

“more than anything?” you ask, excitement tinting your voice, mood already brightened.

“yeah.” he yawns, head nodding as he answers your question.

“more than sleep?” you inquire with a tilt of your head that sets mikey’s heart racing. 

“mhm.” he hums.

“even taiyaki?” you press, readying the list of his favorite things, other than you of course. 

“mm, that one’s kind of a stretch.“ he quips, eyes filled with mirth, lips curling up into a bigger smile. 

“hey..” you frown, but mikey continues, pulling you in and hugging you a little harder in his embrace. 

“c’mon, let’s sleep. i’m sleepy.” he sighs, slinging his leg over you as he turns to spoon you, making sure you’ll sleep this time. 

“okay,” you resign, settling into his warm embrace. it’s not often mikey’s the big spoon, so you try your best to not pester him more. whenever you are like this, it’s snug and comfortable, cozy and reassuring. you close your eyes to try and let sleep take you. 

“…but by the way, my babu is really important-“

“mikey!” 

baji: 

baji had fallen asleep before you, mumbling something about how he’d tell you all about his day with toman tomorrow once he rested up. 

but there was something itching in you, something annoying that wracked your brain and crept up on you during the early morning hours like this. you peered over at his sleeping form, one arm flung above his head while the other laid on his midriff. he was snoring pretty loudly and you could see his pearly fangs under the moonlight. 

you couldn’t sleep, your insecurity gnawing at you from inside, so you turned to fully face him tapping on his side. 

“kei.. wake up,” you mumbled, inching closer to his sleeping face. 

unconsciously, the hand that was on his belly flings up to swat you away. there’s no power behind it and it is just an unconscious reaction, but it turns that insecurity into annoyance. 

“…oi.” you hiss, but the sound of your voice has his hand flying up again. you scoff, before taking his pointer finger and biting down. 

“what the fuck!” he yelps, amber eyes shot open at the pressure. at first he’s confused, but when he glances down he barks a laugh at you, your face contorted in anger as you nibble on him. “let go, dummy, i’m awake.”

he uses his free hand to flick at your forehead and you release. laying your head on his chest, you look up at him, feeling the rise and fall of his body and hearing the beat of his heart. 

“so, whatcha want?” he asks, fully awake from your little love bite. baji’s eyes are always soft when he looks at you, like he’s staring at the whole world. 

“do you love me?” you ask, pouting and blinking up at him with puppy dog eyes. 

baji ponders for a second, before poking your cheek. “do birds fly?” 

“seriously, kei!” you whine, shifting up and wrapping your arms around his neck. “do you love me?” you ask with such earnesty that something in baji’s chest blooms, and it blooms with such intensity he can’t help but cup the back of your head and bring you in for a kiss. 

his lips on yours are soft and when he pulls away, the grip on your hair lessened, you realize the silliness of your insecurity. but baji wants to make sure you hear it too. 

“i love you,” he grins, a finger touching the tip of your nose, “a little too much.” 

you smile, little pin pricks of tears lining your eyes and baji groans.

“one minute you’re biting my hand off, the next you’re crying… you make no sense.” he grumbles, playing with your hair in one hand. you hum when he tugs, melting a bit into his embrace. “you good?”

you nod, laying your head back onto his chest, “‘m good.” you sigh as you settle back into place, eyes closing at the feeling of baji’s hand running through your hair. he always knows what relaxes you best, he always knows that each fleeting thought in your head is best subdued with his own affirmations. what a dumb thought to have, of course he loved you. “love you so much, kei.” 

“i know.” he continues to play with your hair, fingers intertwining with your locks. he watches you with such warmth, you could say that he was the sun. 

“by the way, they don’t all fly,” you smirk, trying to stifle a laugh, “so that question was a little lame.” 

his hand pauses and even with your eyes shut, you can see his face contort in confusion. “huh?” 

“penguins. kiwis. ostriches. emus. none of those fly.” you snicker, “google it.” 

you feel him reach over for his phone on the nightstand. it only takes a few more moments for him to unlock his phone and look it up, but you can’t control your laugh when you hear him groan and say, “are you fuckin’ kidding me?!” 

yuzuha: 

you were always begging your girlfriend to watch a movie with you. every night without fail, she’d agree, rolling her eyes when you’d suggest a romcom for the nth night in a row. but you always thought yuzuha was so pretty when she laughed, the way her eyes crinkled and she’d look back at you as if to say “did that really just happen?” but there was also the way she'd seek your hand out in the more serious parts of the movie, squeezing wordless affirmations into your veins.

and your heart always skipped a thousand beats when she did. really, watching a movie with her was just an excuse to steal as many glances at her as you wanted as she was too distracted to notice. tonight was no different, the two of you giggling and cuddling away under the blanket. 

near the end of the movie, yuzuha had fallen asleep on the other side of the couch, her long strawberry locks cascading over the side of her face as she slept. you sat there, in the dark, watching the end credits when a sudden wave of sadness hit. 

it wasn’t the first time she’d fallen asleep on you, and you had fallen asleep on her a couple times as well, but you were still a little somber. you crawl over, wrapping your arms around her and she shifts in her sleep. 

“mm?” she blinks with sleep laden eyes, a little upturned smile when she notices it’s you. 

“yuzu..” you whisper, burying your face into her neck as her arms come around to hold you. 

“what’s up, angel?” she mumbles into your hair, rubbing her cheek against it. 

“do you love me?” you ask, still pressed against her neck. your breath fans across her skin and she giggles, telling you “that tickles!” but you huff again, not only from annoyance but because her giggle is like a birdsong.

“yuzuha..” you whine, as she continues to giggle, body trembling. you glance up at her both your faces tinted red, noses so close they’re almost touching, “do you love me?” 

“more than you could ever know.” she proclaims and you swear her golden eyes are twinkling. “what about you? do you love me?” she asks, tilting her head a little. 

“more than hakkai loves mitsuya… probably.” you tease and she scoffs, before closing the distance and pressing her lips against yours. the two of you continue to press kiss after kiss, even as the movie credits roll to an end and all the light that’s left is the slight illumination from the tv. 

you don’t even hear the shuffling of feet across the floor, too immersed in the plushness of yuzuha’s lips against yours. it’s not until you hear a particularly disgusted groan that you pull away, looking up right up at hakkai, holding an empty glass and is slightly turned to face the hallway wall. 

“if you’re gonna suck face, can’t you do it in your room sis?” hakkai asks, trying his best to not look at you. 

“oops.” she says, blinking up at her brother, “sorry about that.”

you pull off of yuzuha, face heating up in embarrassment. “sorry hakkai,” you say sheepishly, before you feel the tug of your girlfriend’s hand on yours, pulling you up off the couch. she winks at you as you interlock hands, starting the trek back to her room.

[cannellee]

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆

୨୧ alpha! kojiro x omega! reader

— what kind of alpha is he with his omega

my masterlist: ☆

tw : red flags, yandereish

he's so uncomfortable with his emotions. they're almost too much for him to bare. so he'll bury them, which makes it hard at first for you to get close.

what charmed him in you surely is your kind nature. kojiro isn't attracted to egotistical and violent people, he finds it refreshing to have such a bundle of joy next to him. you're glowing and with you, kojiro feels way better about his life and the future. it feels less scary.

it's the first time he ever feels the need to be careful around someone, to watch his mouth and behave. you're so small and frail, and you have such a gentle soul. kojiro is scared you won't be able to handle an unfriendly alpha like him.

he knows cute omegas like you like thoughtful and caring alphas. an alpha who'll tenderly kiss you, patiently scent you and shield you from the big and scary world. but kojiro isn't all that, and he knows it. but he doesn't want you to know that.

how can you look at him with your big, innocent eyes like that ? will you still look at him the same once you learn what he has done ? will you still trust him and believe him, stay by his side despite everything?

he feels so at ease with you. it's always so peaceful around you, as life can not be anything but easy. he wished he found you sooner.

your omega nature pushes you to look after your alpha, and this constant nurturing instincts you show him are a very nice change. you're so delicate and yet, you treat him warmly, without any judgement, as if he was the weak one.

                                     · · ୨୧ · ·

kojiro is a jealous person. he knows he isn't enough, he knows he isn't able to give you everything you deserve. but he'll try and accept every criticism you have to offer him, he won't say anything back. but if someone else does try to tell him to leave you, if someone gets in between the two of you, shooting disgusting wandering looks at his omega, kojiro acts accordingly.

yes, he wants to remain the most flawless possible in your eyes, but it sometimes can't be helped. and kojiro actually would rather disappoint you than let anyone touch you and risk your relationship. he can still make it up to you by apologising 'sincerely' – you're too surprised and pleased by his efforts of actually admitting his mistakes, that you quickly forget what you were even mad about in the first place – it always works.

in fact, you sometimes have to act as a mediator, softly scolding him for his lack of care and his rude behaviour towards others. you don't like it when he's being aggressive and he knows it, he tries hard to control himself around you but his emotions sometimes get the best of him. still, he never lashes out at you ; you trust him wholeheartedly and know that you don't have to be scared of him.

"kojiro, you can't talk to chifuyu like that, he's just trying to help you", your serious tone has him thinking twice about his next words. albeit still a bit grumpy and harsh, he won't be too disagreable. of course he will never apologise or talk nicely, but he will tone down the insults and become a tiny bit 'softer'. he'll carefully imagine what you'd like to hear from him, as he's not sure how to behave correctly. when you look at him with a satisfied look, he unconsciously releases a relieved sigh.

he's the type to blame others for his bad temper. you'll get mad at him for cursing out someone for no reasons, and he'll get even more aggressive with them, affirming that he's the one who caused your argument. "you're happy? look at what you did, now y/n is giving me the cold shoulder". he will learn, but for the time being, you're careful and indulgent.

                                     · · ୨୧ · ·

he does get a bit manipulative. as I said, kojiro is jealous and somehow a bit insecure. he'll blame you for talking to someone else ; he often gets the wrong idea and ends up genuinely hurt.

he growls and take it out on the object of your interest, on the asshole who stole your attention. it's truly terrifying sometimes. you can't do anything though, you can call his name all you want, he isn't stopping until he knows his omega won't be coveted anymore.

he's mad at you. annoyed that you let someone else get this close to you, especially when you know how possessive he is over you. why are you testing his limits?

"I'm sorry I'm so horribly jealous. tell me you love me, and only me". it's up to you to indulge in those crazy fantasies, but you'd better do because kojiro has the power and obsession to do much worse. he wants to keep you with him and he acts sometimes a bit too violently ; dragging you by the arm with enough strength to make your skin bruise.

he isn't exactly aware of what could hurt you. he grew up in a toxic environment and honestly clings to his only source of happiness like it's his life force. you're vital to him, he tries to change for the best because you asked him, and eventually, you do see improvements. but a lifetime of abuse and mistreatment aren't that easily forgotten. that's why having your sweet scent next to him is necessary ; he can feel you, scent and smell you. you're here with him, your presence is soothing.

he likes hugging your small frame, finding satisfaction in knowing he's the one who can keep you safe. you rely on him, and it sends a wave of pride to see you so blindly trusting him.

[rkvriki]

— boyfriend things enha does ! - hyung line

hey everyone!! surprise im alive!! i still have a request to finish but it's been hard writing it and this idea rushed to my head and i just had to do it 😭

make sure to leave feedback. my resquests are open and so is my talk box so let's talk!

WARNINGS ! might be slightly suggestive; might contain grammar errors.

word count: 1.1k

LEE HEESEUNG !

— leaves his hoodie at your house

to me this seems like such a heeseung thing to do.

he lives to see you dressed in his hoodies outside of your home, like, he loves when you go over to the dorms or when you go on a date and you wear his hoodies.

bonus: he loves it when someone notices it’s his hoodie and says something about it and he can proudly show that person you’re his partner!

when sleeps over at your house he takes an extra sweater or shirt to purposely leave his hoodie in your house.

when you wear it he’s like “oh my god, can’t believe i left another hoodie at your house.” and you act like you don’t realize it’s on purpose just to let him have his moment.

— keeps a hand on your back when you guys are out

heeseung can be a little possessive over you sometimes in a non unhealthy way.

he does this mostly when you are at social events or at a party, just out somewhere. he does it kinda unconsciously to be honest, but when he sees someone get their eye on you he will definitely do it on purpose to make the other person realize you are his.

you don't mind it, like at all. when you feel his hand resting on your back you’ll tense a little at the touch, and when he’s feeling like teasing you, he’ll trace his hand up and down your back in a teasing way, touching you with just the tip of his fingers and his nails slightly scratching your skin, to make you shiver, knowing how it gets you.

PARK JONGSEONG !

— hugging you randomly from behind

jay loves back hugging you.

no matter what you are doing he will be wrapping his arms around you waist and nuzzling his head on the crook of your neck and might leave little kisses on your neck and jaw.

you’re making a phone call and you’re walking around the house? he’ll be clinging to you.

you’re cooking? he’s right behind you.

you’re just standing looking at whatever? he's hugging you.

he just loves feeling you against him.

sometimes when he’s feeling needy he will come behind you and slowly wrap his arms around your waist and will rub his hands all over your lower torso, while leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck and sometimes licking and sucking the area, knowing it’ll make you feel hot and feeling uneasy.

— always asking for your opinion on his outfits

as we all know and i’ve talked about before, jake loves fashion and his clothes are a very prized possession for him.

everytime you sleep over and you go out he’ll show you different outfits and will model for you so you can give an opinion and choose the best one.

sometimes he’ll be like

“ok the one you chose is good, but what if i wore it with the shirt of that one and-” 

he’ll start ranting and explaining how the color scheme and whatever things you’re not really listening because he looks so good with the outfit and you can’t focus on anything but him.

SIM JAEYUN !

— kissing you out of the nowhere

when i look at jake i can’t think of anything else but his plush lips and how soft they might feel and i know i’ve written so many things about kissing jake but can you blame me??

jake is very aware you find his lips attractive so he’ll use them to tease you in more than one way.

sometimes you both are just chilling on the couch and he will start trailing his lips up your neck and will start leaving soft marks on your most sensitive spots.

he smirks to himself when you move your neck to give him more space to kiss and sees you rubbing your thighs together, giving himself a reminder to help you later on.

he’s such a tease for no reason, he’ll do this and when the good part is coming he just steps back and smiles at you like he did nothing, making you scowl at him.

— shows up to your home unannounced

jake is the type to miss you and go straight to your house without texting you.

you will be at home doing work or whatever and he’ll be knocking at your door when you least expect it.

you don’t even get surprised anymore, you’re so used to it by now, he should just move in at this point 🙄

if you are lucky enough he will bring you a present, which are mostly plushies. you have a huge plushie collection, because anytime he goes to an arcade with the boys he makes sure to always win one for you and will proudly give it to you and tell you how he easily won the game, even though he almost cried while playing because of how hard it was.

PARK SUNGHOON !

— will give you private serenades

what’s better than to have a boyfriend who sings?

he started doing this in the early days of your relationship when he wanted to get your pants (jk)

but it did start that early and he just made it a routine for you. he acts like he doesn’t like doing it but deep down he loves seeing your heart eyes looking at him while he sings for you.

when he’s feeling nice he will have you with your head laid in his lap while you look up at him and he sings something for you.

sometimes you ask him to sing you to sleep, since his voice calms you down and even though he rolls his eyes, you see the corners of his lips rise the slightest bit.

— takes you on road trips

sunghoon loves traveling and he loves traveling with you!

whenever he knows he knows enhypen will have a longer rest break he will take that as an opportunity to take you on a road trip.

you have visited the most famous places in korea since he can’t take you out of the country just when he pleases he will opt to just take you to korean places.

he loves taking you to places where it snows a lot, so he can take you snowboarding with him and teach you. teaching to him means laughing his ass off when you fall flat on your face.

he also takes you to beachy areas, because he loves seeing how happy you get when you play in the water (sorry if you don’t relate to this tho!)

[lonelynpc]

Waking Up Unconscious Characters

on the topic of whump!

if you want somebody to attempt to wake an unconscious character, here's how we do it when waking you from anaesthesia:

always speak in a loud and clear voice. we need to make sure they can hear us.

identify ourselves. this includes what our role is so, "this is (my name), i'm your anaesthetist/doctor." sometimes i will also say, "we met before," just to try jog their memory a little bit.

use the patient's name.

comfort and reassure. we avoid saying, "everything's okay," or similar but we will say, "this is normal," "we're looking after you," "the procedure went well," etc.

"(name), open your eyes for me. i need you to open your eyes now." notice it's a command, not "can you open your eyes for me?" when patients are confused, we sometimes see a sort of "i can but i won't" response. can't leave room for confusion, we need to be direct.

tap their shoulder firmly, if possible. obviously, if they've just had surgery on their shoulder or have a shoulder injury we might tap a leg or their chest instead. we will also loudly and clearly speak to them while doing this.

apply painful stimuli. this doesn't mean we're hitting them. we're stimulating a patient to get a response to assess LOC. mandibular pressure is the common one in anaesthesia, if it was the surgical site or if there is an injury there we won't do it, we might do the trapezius squeeze instead.

"hey, (name), this is (my name), your anaesthetist. you're just waking up from surgery, alright?" let them know what's going on, identify yourself again. keep using their name.

once they open their eyes, acknowledge it. i say, "there we go, hello again, (name)," and then reiterate the above.

tell them to stay still, talk them through what we're doing. "stay still for a second, we're taking the tube out, okay?" if a character is going to be moving or touching the injured character, even if they are still unresponsive, they should explain what they're doing. "i'm putting you on your side," "i'm just checking you for injuries," "it looks like you've hurt your arm, i'm going to take a look."

here's some responses people have when waking up from anaesthesia (often they do not remember this):

crying a lot. this is very common and usually if we ask why they're crying, they say they don't know so we tend to just assure them that this is normal and it will pass. we also often see this if a procedure went for longer than anticipated and the bladder is distended.

combative responses. some patients wake up swinging because they're confused, in pain, etc. some wake up combative because the procedure went for longer than anticipated and their bladder is distended too, that's a common cause of aggression on emergence.

urinary incontinence. it happens, we assure them that it's normal and not to be embarrassed, clean them up and cover them. sometimes it happens before they're 'awake'.

flirting or declarations of love. it sounds weird but it happens. it also happens when we're putting them under too. i had a patient tell me that i have beautiful eyes and make kissy faces at me once.

some people get erections. it's sometimes seen in response to certain anaesthetic agents. maybe not whump material but it's interesting so there you go.

immediately trying to move, pull monitors off or IVs out, etc.

singing. now, i haven't seen this super often and it's not full singing but they try their best. i had a patient mumble-singing the lyrics to funky cold medina once (instrumental included), he had no recollection of it later.

non-purposeful movement. thrashing, writhing, turning, etc with no intention.

crying, combative responses, non-purposeful movement, etc are known as 'emergence agitation' (EA).

i hope that helps a bit and gives some ideas!

[asvterias]

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟦: 𝖥𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝖨𝗆𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖬𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋

the cast // series masterlist

chap. 1 || chap. 2 || chap. 3 || chap. 4 || chap. 5 || chap. 6 || chap. 7 || chap. 8

‼️ DISCLAIMERS FOR THIS CHAPTER ‼️

Dealing with Grief and Losses, Trauma Responses, Trauma Bonding, Implied Mentions of PTSD, Mentions of Multiple Deaths & Reader pulling bitches??! 🤭

Italics alone are the Reader’s Thoughts

word count: 5.3k+

tag list: @s0r0ws @starvviss @kjisbae17 @lov3rgiiirl @starless-nightz @random-girls-loves @coolgirl458

author’s note: anyways, i hope you liked this chapter! please don’t be a silent reader and interact within the chapter. ahhh clarisse and reader FINALLY meet!! and so did adrianna and reader!!

🌊 🐚 ✘ 🔥🗡️

CHAPTER 4, EPISODE ONE

Your mind was hazy, blurring visions glitching as you managed to make sense of everything. Through your half-lidded eyes, you saw two figures standing above you balancing out the scenery of the thunderstorm outside.

“Where am I?”

“Trust me, new girl, you don’t wanna know.” The unknown girl spoke, appearing to have braided hair.

“You look pretty banged up, so you should rest, to recover from recent injuries.”

“…Who are you? What are me and my brother doing here?”

“I’m Annabeth, and your parentage is the reason why you’re here.”

“What– what does that mean?!”

“That means it’s our godly parent’s fault for making us the way we are,” Another figure appears, this time having blonde hair.

“Adrianna.” The younger girl’s figure shushes.

“It is their fault regardless!” She protested.

“Don’t freak her out!”

“Annabeth…” you whisper woozy, “That’s a pretty name, and I really like your braids, wanna be sisters sometime? I promise to protect and love you forever and ever way more than the asshole who abandoned you. You too Adrianna, you sound like my new best friend.”

“…Is she high?” Annabeth asked. “What did Cassandra give her?”

“I don’t fucking know, but I want whatever Cassy gave her,” Adrianna chuckles.

Annabeth hits her on the arm.

“Anna Banana, can I call you that?”

“No you may not,” she answered monotonously, crossing her arms.

“We’ll see, I’ll warm up to you, I always do with everybody,” You grinned, shifting your focus to the other girl, “Adri, that’s a cute nickname!”

“Only you can call me that,”

“Really? Oh, that makes me feel so special!” You rejoiced, stretching your arms out, “Don’t worry, Annabeth, I’ll figure you out, one way or another,”

“You sure she isn’t your actual sister from a different father?” Adrianna inquires.

“I wouldn’t mind it either way, she seems smart and honest so I like that about her,”

You fall back into a dark abyss of unconsciousness as the girls’ voices begin to fade out all around.

Eventually, you woke up with a groan, everything began to hit you like a train wreck. You had no idea how long you were out for, the only thing coming to your mind was the two unknown girls from the other day, peering down and talking about you.

The rainy thunderous night, while desperately trying to escape a demigod killer. The car crashed onto the side of the street and everyone waking up battled and bruised. It was your mom’s last moment, in the car, telling you to be safe and discover your true potential. Your cries still echoed in your mind as you shuddered at the faint memory, struggling to keep the fresh tears at bay.

More importantly, the fight with the Minotaur was one you’d never forget. That wretched monster killed your other mom, Sally and so you killed it, driven by vengeance and grief.

It was a wonder how you survived so far, the aching heartbreak of recent losses still lingering in your mind.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” Grover starts.

“Y/N, you’re awake!” Percy states, rushing to you for a hug. You winced slightly at the impact but returned the hug.

“How long was I out for?” You examined your body, recognizing the same pair of clothes from the Minotaur fight.

“Two days straight.”

“Is there— Are our moms…?!” You gulp, too heartbroken to finish your statement.

They both looked down, refusing to admittedly say it, knowing the losses were a sore subject to discuss.

You frantically searched for the necklace, sighing in relief when you pulled it out, dangling the necklace in your face. You held the sentimental item to your chest, whispered a quick prayer to your parents, and briefly kissed the necklace. The bracelet you wore on your right wrist reminded you of your mother, Sally, gifted on your 10th birthday. It was a Pandora charm bracelet, matching ones, yours was silver and hers was gold.

“I just wanna be left alone right now, if that’s okay.”

You wished the earth swallowed you whole.

“Well, it’s a big deal to kill a monster like that.”

“Did you see it?” Percy asked.

“So, I wanted everyone to know–“

“Did you see it? Did you see what happened to our moms?”

You blinked away the unshed tears, clutching onto your mom’s necklace with one hand and using the other, fiddling with your mother’s bracelet.

“I did,” Grover spoke after some time. “Y’know Y/N most people would go for the eyes but you went for the neck, I’m impressed.”

“She went for both, but okay,” Percy mutters.

“Thanks, Grover, please can we keep the commentary to ourselves for right now?”

“Oh…” Grover catches on, his eyes crinkling in sadness as he holds his head down, “I’m sorry….”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“For not doing my job properly,” His ears dejected as he looked down shamefully “…I failed you both.”

“What happened to my moms wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have predicted that or stopped it.”

“But I still feel guilty.”

You remained silent, eyes stuck on the ground before a sudden weight crashed into you, catching you by surprise.

“I know I can’t take your sadness away, believe me, if I could I definitely would. So I’m going for the next best thing, a hug.”

A small genuine smile appears on your face at Grover’s statement as you reciprocate the hug before feeling another presence join the hug. Percy nuzzled his head, smiling as you three lingered in silence for a while, comforted by each other.

“Wait,” you backtrack, being the first to pull away from the group hug. You noticed the Minotaur’s horn on the table, “That fight with that thing was real??”

“Oh yeah,” Grover nods, “It’s also called a Minotaur, that doesn’t matter and you probably don’t care.”

“Look at you catching on, I’ve never been prouder.” You joked, finally taking in your surroundings. “Where the hell are we?” You inspected the room, getting up from the bed.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.”

“That’s a stupid ass name.”

“It kinda is.”

“Guys,” Grover stares at the sibling duo, “Not the right focus.”

“Totally.”

“My bad,”

“Y/N, I think you should change into something a little less…dirty.” Grover insists, gesturing to your dirty outfit.

“Good call,” you click your tongue, “Where’s the shower? I’m due for a nice hot steamy shower,”

Grover looked at you with a hesitant smile.

“Oh, please don’t tell me this is an actual outdoor camp where I shower in a communal?!”

The rest of the day went by slowly for you and somewhat, gloomy. Taking a nice shower and changing into fresh clothes was one way to ease your mind, but it only numbed halfway. You wore a bright orange shirt, consisting of the engraved words ‘Camp Half-Blood’ warped around a circle, surrounding a flying horse, and a pegasus, all in black.

Not going to lie, the specific choice of color was too blinding for your taste but you had to tolerate it. Apparently, this shirt was all they had…probably the only one they’d give you, so you took the shirt with gratitude.

However, your beige cargo pants and simple black converse shoes, pulled it all together, making you look presentable.

You complained when viewing the shirt in the full-length mirror in the bathroom though.

How can a camp be in a shortage of decent shirts but have many of these human-size walking traffic lights just lying around? How many kids do they want to come to this camp? You couldn’t even stand a school full of students, and now, this camp is filled with them, you couldn’t escape kids no matter what.

Getting bored of loathing your shirt, you ventured through the infirmary, hoping to be entertained.

The lingering effects of your parents’ deaths still took a toll on you. Your mood was dampened, despite attempting to hide your emotions from your brother, Percy, to not worry him even further.

You found yourself sitting on one of the lounge chairs on the patio outside.

“Hey, new girl,” A voice calls out to you.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, sitting up slightly at the new presence of a stranger.

A pretty stranger too…seems to be around your age, and looks to be a natural blonde white girl. Who also seems to be wearing the eye-soring orange of a shirt.

“Yeah?” You answered hesitantly.

“Is that chair taken?” She points to the empty chair.

“I wanna say yes but I feel obliged to tell you to fuck off,” You honestly respond, shrugging your shoulders.

The blonde girl stared at you in amusement at your honesty, and so were you, shocked even by your unusual behavior. You winced at your harsh tone, refusing to believe your own ears at your words. Great, be an absolute bitch to the girl who wants to be friends with you, nice going Y/N!

Most of the time, you were nice to everyone, but your patience and kindness wore thin so you spoke the first thing on your mind.

“Yes or no?”

“Sure,” you exhale.

You closed your eyes, leaning back in your chair, ruining your posture completely. The footsteps pad against the wooden floorboard and halt when she sits down.

“To be honest I thought you were nicer,” She started, “Sucks to discover you’re just a pretty girl with an ugly personality, message received,”

“Just caught me on a bad day, I’m quite interesting once you get to know me.”

“Oh, I’m certain.”

“Can I confide in you?” You asked quietly, leaning toward her as if you were entrusting her with a major secret.

It was random for you to trust the promise of a stranger, but she felt different, she felt trustworthy enough. Either way, you need to rant your true feelings about recent events to someone. Just to freely talk with them without judgment or their personal opinions, only them listening. You’d talk with Percy, but you doubt he’d be able to assist due to his many lack of experiences in life as yet or burden him with your issues.

“Hit me.” She replies.

“My life changed drastically in only a few hours, and I don’t know how to…cope with it… with everything regarding it. Especially…”

“I lost my mother too,” she hums lowly, casting her eyes downward, a faint sad smile as she recalls the traumatic memory. “When I was 8…she died right in front of me. We were arguing about my father and how I had to leave for my own safety, but I refused to hear her out. So in a desperate plea to end the conversation…I didn’t know where this blinding source of energy, this new power came from, and…it scared me so much. Next thing I knew, the kitchen stove turned on and everything else happened way too fast. The horrid desperate screams, her helpless body being engulfed with flames, and the wretched sound of her body hitting the floor with a final thud. I still relive her death in my nightmares at times, I think my dad does it to haunt me, or maybe it’s my own self-consciousness telling me I did that to my own mother…”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, it must have been horrible for you, a little girl, to endure hardships this early in her life,” You leaned closer, resting your hand on top of hers before hesitantly pulling her into a comforting hug. “Don’t blame yourself for your mother’s death, it was never your fault.”

You frown, noticing the blonde slightly flinch away from your touch. You quickly moved your hand away, not wanting to make her uncomfortable again.

“Sorry, I like to comfort people, it’s an annoying habit…I know–“

Taking you by surprise, she instantly pulls you in another hug to soothe her worries.

“Thanks, I guess I really needed that. Sorry if I was crossing any boundaries or being too clingy.” She pulls away from the hug.

“Of course, anytime. I’m always here to help a friend, especially if they’re coping with a past trauma.”

“It’s fine, it’s in the past,” she wipes away stray tears, dismissing the tragic experience of hers.

“No it’s not fine, it’ll never be fine. That shouldn’t have happened to you.”

“I believe you owe me a tragic story too,” she chuckles, trying to diminish the somber mood.

You send her a weak smile, “Prepared to get one story for the price of two then,” You exhaled heavily, “On the way here…to camp half-blood, me and my family were outrunning the Minotaur, and if that couldn’t get worse enough, it’d rammed itself into our car, knocking us off the road. I was the first to wake up and get everyone out of the car, and…when I went to rescue my mom…she wasn’t moving, unresponsive and quietly still, that’s when I realized she was dead, although my poor attempts to revive her weren’t clearly working out. By the time me and my brother managed some distance from the Minotaur because of her distraction, that monster crushed her with his…bare hands, and she turned into…” You hesitated, pondering whether to proceed with the following information, “She died from the crushing impact…I killed the Minotaur for that. I killed the Minotaur for killing my mothers,”

“Oh…wow, just so you know…I’m so sorry that happened to you and your brother. Your mothers sounded very brave and loving,” Adrianna murmurs, squeezing your hand gently.

“Well, that’s life, what can you do?” You wiped the tears away.

Hearing the quiet sniffles coming from you, a frown tugged at the blonde girl’s lips, “I don’t know how to comfort you very well, so would you like a hug?” she negotiated with you, “Ask for one, get one free?” She joked.

“Sure, I would love a hug!” Your sobs came out in a hearty laughter, accepting the comforting hug.

“I just get a feeling that she’s still somewhere here with me,” you played with your necklace.

“She is,”

“And so is your mother, she knows what happened to her isn’t your fault,”

“I like you, let’s be best friends.”

“Sure, okay.”

“Huh, that was easy,”

“I think we get along so well because of similar past experiences,”

“It’s been proved that therapists call that trauma bonding,”

“We don’t have any of those here – therapists, I mean…but trauma bonding, ohh, there’s plenty enough to go around!” she whistles, “We’re destined to be each other’s therapist and forced to deal with our own shit in the process. It’s a lose-lose situation, we all cope here differently.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” You muttered, noticing the sunset arriving on the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, maybe this camp wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it would be, considering you made a new first friend.

Adrianna exhaled, standing up and patting off any dust off her pants, “I gotta go, but someone will be back with dinner for you and your brother,”

“How long until me and Percy can actually reacquaint with other people our age?”

“Not too long, trust me. Whenever you reach, keep an eye out for me, okay?”

“Of course,”

“See you later, Y/N!”

She leaves your sight, heading back towards the actual camp alongside the other campers.

“See you later, Adri!”

Huh, your first true friend you made all on your own. Your parents would be very proud of this, you know they truly would...but they weren’t here. They won’t ever come back, and sooner or later, despite the grief, you’d have to overcome their losses and move on with your life.

Your eyes flicker down in sadness, reminiscing on your mothers, your favorite memories of them, and celebrating your milestones. Gosh, they missed so much, making you wonder how much more they will be missing out on in your life.

Later that evening, the crickets chirped loudly in the grass as you stared at the sky. Percy was still inside the infirmary cabin, lying in the bed, keeping his thoughts to himself.

You wanted to be there in his time of need, but you knew he processes things differently from you. You weren’t always going to be there for him, to be his steady rock every time. It pained him to come to that realization, but he knew it was true, that you had your own life to manage.

So reluctantly with a heavy heart, you knocked on the door lightly, nervously chewing on your bottom lip. Of course, Percy locked the door, demanding some privacy and time to reconcile with his grief as well.

“Hey, I’m here if you need to talk…we don’t even have to talk…we’ll just wallow in silence if you prefer. Just know I’m here for you.” You stammered.

He remained silent, waiting as you left him alone once again.

“I’m sorry I was unable to protect our mothers, I felt like I should have done something more, or if I’d known ahead of time, I would have prevented their deaths. I’m just…I’m so sorry Percy, I never meant for any of these to happen to us. Please, you have to believe me, this was never my true intention,” You cried, pressing your body weight against the door. No tears left your eyes, it was just your voice cracking with each word.

Still, he stayed silent, even to your desperate pleas.

“Okay, I get it you’re silent now, but whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here, so I’ll be outside.”

You turned to walk away but stopped yourself to say one more thing. “I love you, Percy, and I’ll never let anything happen to you,” You promised.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He murmurs, hoping you’ll hear him.

“Dinner is soon coming, so please eat.”

“Okay, tell me when it’s here,”

As your footsteps retreat from the door, a small smile curls up on his face, content with your presence.

Opening the front door, you stepped outside, closing it behind you, overlooking the sight before you.

Another girl walks up to the patio of the infirmary, balancing two trays of food in her hand, them being foiled-wrapped, supposedly being your dinner. She is absolutely gorgeous! Her skin was beautiful, an olive tone, as the golden hour sunkissed her body, showing off her muscular arms that slowly strained with every movement.

She has curly hair, seemingly refusing to restrain it, which probably tangles quickly, giving her a hassle to handle but you doubt she cares. The olive-skinned girl wore the same dreadful orange camp shirt and a simple pair of blue jeans.

Why am I talking so much about her hair? Snap out of it! Focus on what she’s saying instead of wondering what flavor shampoo she uses.

“What’s up with you? You’ve been saying nothing for a little while, it’s getting quite concerning. I can assure you there’s nothing special about this place. The whole thing is a dump,”

Oh, shit, she noticed me staring at her! She probably thinks I’m weird now. How did I proceed? What do I say to justify myself? Is there anything possible to say to justify my peering eyes on her? Nope, I don’t think there is. This is so fucking embarrassing!

“Just….” You cleared your throat, scratching the back of your neck, rambling anything, “Getting used to my surroundings,” You finished off, trying to convince her about your whereabouts. Who were you trying to convince here more? You or her?

“Huh-uh,” she agrees unconvinced by your excuse, walking closer to you, “Well while you get used to your surroundings, you can eat something, if you fill your stomach with food, then perhaps your mind can regain control too.” she handed you a tray, filled with different sorts of food. She rested the other one on the mini table.

“Thanks for the food…” you squint your eyes, hoping to remember her name, if she even told you it yet.

She finishes, sitting on one of the patio steps. “Clueless and you are…?”

“Y/N.”

“Do you lack a last name or something?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“Matthews-Jackson, call me any which one is fine by me.” You unwrapped your foil, glancing at your dinner choices.

“Clarisse La Rue,”

“Great. Quick question!”

“Ask away, clueless.”

“Where the hell are we?!”

She chuckles, “God, you’re really living up to that nickname of yours, clueless.” The girl sneaks a grape off your plate and munches on the fruit, “Just know it’s keeping people like us safe.”

You stared at the curly-haired girl unimpressed by her vague response, expecting more.

“Already told that, say something new.” You stated.

“Okay…for starters, I’ve taken a liking to you, which is saying something, even for me,”

She steps closer, causing you to gulp down your fear of personal space.

“I don’t know why or how you intrigue me so much when I barely know you, but trust me, I intend to find out.” her gaze pierced through yours, eyes analyzing your facial features and she smirked slightly at your body language. You flushed underneath her gaze, and your eyes averted elsewhere.

Her flirtatious smile sent an intense feeling in your stomach and your heart accelerated at an alarming speed. Thankfully, your brown skin concealed your blush or else a generous amount of teasing would be sent your way. Was it butterflies…bursting into millions of more butterflies?! No! No! Could it be…?! Maybe you felt slightly attracted to Clarisse, but could it go further beyond being acquaintances?! Guess, we’ll see soon…

“What’s this camp’s deal?”

“That’s not my place to tell you,” She distanced herself away, sitting down and leaning her head against the wooden frame. The two girls sat on the patio steps, continuing their conversation.

“But you could.”

“Yes, I could.”

“So tell me, then!”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because I could but I won’t,”

You roll your eyes, “That isn’t fair,” you cross your arms, huffing slightly.

“Nothing in life is, Matthews,” She muses, shuffling closer to you, “Now eat your food, I’m sure you’re starving.”

“Yes ma’am,” You playfully comment, picking around your food with the fork.

She smiles at your behavior, getting startled when your entire demeanor changes in an instant. Your wholesome voice was replaced by a firm tone of authority. It almost scared her a little bit to witness a whirlwind of emotions appear in an unexpected moment.

“Percy!” You yelled for your younger brother inside the infirmary room.

“What?!” His voice rang from inside.

“Dinner’s here! Come eat now or you’ll starve tonight!”

“Y/N, don’t touch my plate at all!”

“Can’t make no promises!”

Clarisse turned to you, “You have a brother?”

“Yep,”

“I thought you came here alone.”

“You thought wrong then.”

“Is he annoying?”

“All brothers are!”

“I heard that!”

“Perhaps I should repeat myself: all brothers are annoying, especially my overdue growth spurt of a baby brother, who goes by the full government name of Percy Jackson-Matthews!”

“My growth spurt just hasn’t caught up to me yet. It’s perfectly normal for guys my age. Also, leave my name out of this!”

“Whatever, blondie. Either come in 30 seconds or your grapes are gone.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Oh, but I would,” You challenged with a teasing smile, “We both know that I’m a big foodie.”

Happy to know that Percy’s feeling better and the sound of food only dignified that. God, he really was your brother.

The following day was a recurring one, you and Percy remained in the infirmary cabin, both deciding to get introduced to the head adults of this camp.

Your brother’s eyes caught onto another small building, an open room, a few feet away and you two stumbled across there.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m Percy Jackson-Matthews.”

“And I’m Y/N Jackson-Matthews, we’re new here,”

“Peter Johnson and Y/N Morgan are here.” He shouts to no one, creating an echo.

“Okay,” Percy shuffled on his feet, looking clueless, “That isn’t really our names.”

“Not even remotely close.” you shake your head at the man before you, “Do you know where the office is? Or who’s in charge of this…dump?” You peer at the stacked old dusty wooden box against the wall, instinctively jumping away when a spider appears. Percy scoffs at your sudden clinginess, wondering what scared you but he flinches away, noticing the large spider on the box too.

The man slides his shades down, getting a much better look at the two siblings.

“For your information, missy, this camp isn’t a dump.”

“Then what is it? I doubt it’s a heaven.”

“You’re right, it’s a hellhole, my personal hell, and you just happened to spawn here without warning.”

Grover’s hurried tone appears throughout the room as he runs inside, standing in between the two Jackson siblings.

“Percy and Y/N, this is Mr. D. He’s the camp director.” He introduced you two.

“Mr. D. This is Percy and Y/N Jackson-Matthews.”

“Yeah, Grover,” he throws his sunglasses on the table, “I heard them the first time.”

You tilted your head at the man, “But did you?”

Grover pulled you and Percy aside in a small corner of the room.

“You don’t really wanna start with this guy,” Grover warns.

“Don’t wanna start with him but he’s starting with us,” You retaliated.

“Y/N, the D is for Dionysus, that’s Dionysus,” He recorrects himself.

“What do you mean Dionysus?” You inquired, “That’s an ancient ass name, who names their kid Dionysus?”

“Like the god Dionysus?” Percy persisted.

“No way!”

“Yes, way!”

“There’s no fucking way!”

“You’re not supposed to be cursing,” Percy gasps.

“Oh, and what are you gonna do? Bite me, blondie boy,” You snarled at your brother.

“Do you wanna go? Do you wanna go right now because we can go right now?”

“Shut up you doofus. We’d both know you’d lose, even Grover knows it,”

“Make me, loser,” Percy stuck his tongue out at you.

“Guys let’s not…do that right here. Can you both please be civilized people, at least for a couple of minutes?”

“I can, I have more self-control than Percy,”

“My sister is an excellent liar,”

The three of you turned back to him, walking forward to his table.

“Excuse me, your highness.” Percy starts. You close your eyes, whispering an incoherent prayer as you shake your head in embarrassment. Dionysus grumbles in disapproval and you roll your eyes, slapping Percy in the back of his head, lunging his head forward a little bit.

“Ow, Y/N, what was that for?” He held his head, spinning to you in shock.

“Why are you calling him your highness? He’s not a god or royalty.”

“Yes, he is. Grover just told us.”

“No you imbecile, he told us Dionysus was a god, not a powerful god or not one of the gods.”

“He doesn’t have to be important, he’s still a god.”

“Very obviously not an important god if he works at this dump of a camp, this is probably some punishment for him,”

“Anyways,” he focuses his attention back onto Dionysus, “I think my dad may be around here somewhere, and I don’t know how to ask for him…we don’t even know his name, but I think we should see him,” he says, glancing at you, “I think we really need that right now. Can you help us?” he blinks at Dionysus.

“Yeah, he owes us that much,” You snort, crossing your arms, “Years of abandonment and he doesn’t have the decency to show up.”

After Percy’s sentimental confession, Dionysus sits upright, resting his coke can on the table, and begins to speak. “Actually I think I can….son.” he concludes, keeping a neutral face as he looks at you, “and my beloved daughter.”

“Dad…” Percy initiates, stunned at the revelation.

“Hold up, what?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“It’s Percy.”

“Exactly.”

“You idiot, he’s not our dad.”

“He so could be.”

“How? Tell me how Percy?”

“Save the sibling theatrics for later. Now, before we get to know each other, there’s something very important I wasn’t you to do for me, okay?”

Percy agrees to the instructions.

“In the galley,” You looked at the open door, staring at the far distant green galley, “There is a bottle of 1985 Château Haut-Brion. Will you go fetch that for me?”

“Uhh, fuck no, my brother’s not your lap dog, he may have the personality for it, but he’s not doing that.”

“No one’s talking to you, missy!” The older man rebuts.

“Is that really all you have to say to us?”

“Hey, um, Mr. D, even if Percy was–“

“Uh, uh, uh, bup! Grover, quiet, please. This is a nice moment, don’t ruin it.”

You stifled a laugh as Grover was rendered silent.

“The galley is right down that path. Grab that bottle and I’ll talk to you about whatever you want. You know, uh…you, uh…me, who cares?”

Percy contemplated his decision for a minute before concluding. He motioned to walk outside the room, but he stopped in his tracks, eyes intensely focused on a moving presence, the sound of hooves against the hardwood floor.

“Holy shit, what the fuck–“

Okay, you were clearly losing it now!

Mr. Brunner stalked closer towards you two, confident in his movements as he halted, staring at the siblings.

He clicked his tongue, “Percy. Y/N.”

“Mr. Brunner?” Percy asked, appalled.

“What are you?!” You inquired, bewildered.

At that, the man remained quiet.

“Uh, Mr. Brunner’s real name is Chiron.” Grover informs, “Camp activities directory, immortal trainer of heroes, he is–“

“Grover, thank you. I’ll take it from here.”

“Oh, Y/N and Percy, this must be a lot for you to process.”

“You being half horse is adding more to that,” You crossed your arms.

“Oh, no. It’s–it’s fine. I mean you’re a horse, my father won’t talk to me unless I get him a drink. Well this all seems totally normal and reasonable–“

“Dionysus has no clue who we are, do you?”

“Yes, I do.” Mr. D replied nonchalantly, “What kind of father would I be if I didn’t.”

“A horrible deadbeat one, that’s for sure.”

“Aren’t you the life of the party?”

“You just wanted to get drunk, did you?”

“Well, if I have to deal with kids like you, I’m gonna need one every hour of the day.”

“No, no, no.” Chiron explains, “Mr. D is not your father, either of you.” The siblings turned to him.

“Told you, dummy.” You grit your teeth at your brother.

“I could be.” he reaffirms with a nod.

“Yes, but are you?”

“Why must you ruin everything?”

“I was right,”

“Aren’t you a little miss know it all? I’m sure you’d fit in right with Athena’s children, possibly another sister of Annabeth.”

“Mr. D knows that Zeus has forbidden him from consuming alcohol and that demigods can do things for gods that gods are forbidden to do for themselves. Mr. D was taking advantage of that. Hmm?”

Your brother faced Mr. D and he only offered a shrug and displeased face.

“Percy, Y/N, walk with me and we’ll start again,” He bargains.

Agreeing with the man’s kind words, you and Percy follow after Chiron, to which Grover trails behind until Chiron stops him.

“Uh, Grover, please give us a moment,”

The boy sighed and fell back, watching you and Percy walking with Chiron towards the camp.

likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

© asvterias, 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

[wttcsms]

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again. 

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life. 

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship. 

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you. 

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment. 

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart. 

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya. 

“Were you looking for something?” 

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide. 

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.” 

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?” 

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind. 

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend? 

“What are you talking about?” 

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly? 

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.” 

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.” 

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him. 

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you. 

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf. 

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment. 

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him. 

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?” 

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.” 

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this. 

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him, 

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.” 

“Huh?” This catches his attention. 

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?” 

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question. 

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him. 

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch. 

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

[necrotic-nephilim]

"I don't care how much you hate me - you need to eat!"

DickTim during Bruce's Lost In Time phase but with Dick stopping Tim from leaving💕

send a quote and a ship and I'll write a short fic!

fucked up DickTim during Bruce's lost in time era my beloved. this is 2k of *very* dead dove DickTim, with one-sided feelings from Dick and unreliable narrator vibes. it is a smidge OOC, just bc of how dark Dick gets, but i think i kept it best i could. enjoy <3

It wasn’t supposed to go this far.

Dick thought he was doing this to honor Bruce. The last thing Bruce would’ve wanted was to see Tim drive himself over the edge and go too far, all for a fruitless chase to bring Bruce back from the dead. And sure, maybe deep down Dick knew he reflected some of Bruce’s worst traits. The obsessive control. The worrying to the point of being overbearing.

It came with the capes and spandex territory. Especially now that Dick had decided to man up and put on that damned cowl.

But even at Bruce’s worst, Dick was pretty sure he wouldn’t dare go this far.

Dick knew it was wrong. What he didn’t know was why he couldn’t stop himself. Why the gnawing guilt was so easy to compartmentalize and why every good point Tim had got ignored by Dick’s logical side, brushed off by one simple mantra.

He was doing this for Tim’s own good.

All of this was to protect Tim from doing something he would regret.

Dick had done brain scans, had Tim magically checked up, and even managed to get him to properly talk to a psychiatrist. Everything came back normal. Tim was perfectly healthy.

So maybe this was something that had always been a part of Tim. Maybe it was a bad idea for any of them to have let Tim into the vigilante world so young.

Some people could handle it. Some people couldn’t. Dick had seen firsthand how it broke minds and ruined lives. He’d seen people turn to drugs, cults, murder, and god knew what else just to try to cope with it.

That didn’t make Tim weak. Tim Drake was the furthest thing from weak, and Dick would fight anyone on that.

This was just a hard life to cope with. Sometimes, people needed support through the worst of it.

That’s what Dick was doing.

Giving support.

“I don’t care how much you hate me- you need to eat!” Dick stepped back, dodging Tim’s attempt to kick his feet out. The bowl of salad Dick had set next to Tim was completely ignored.

Dick had learned not to give Tim hot food after Tim flung potato soup at his head the first time, chunks of potato stuck to his hair.

Tim’s scowl was lethal. Technically, he wasn’t restrained. He could move freely around the manor and do whatever he wanted.

It was the shock collar that kept him from leaving the grounds or breaking into the Batcave.

Dick had decided that would be the most humane way. The shock was only momentarily painful, it was designed to knock Tim unconscious if he tried to get somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. The collar had taken three tries before Dick found a lock Tim couldn’t pick, and a few more unfortunate incidents of Tim finding weak spots in the barrier.

But Dick always found Tim and brought him back home.

That was what was important.

The fact Tim kept trying to break out and go to god knew where on some fruitless quest to find a dead man made Dick more secure about this decision.

He was doing this to protect Tim. Once Tim worked through the worst of his grief, all this would be in the past. Something they would laugh at.

Hopefully.

It was like one of Tim’s contingency plans. Really, he of all people should understand.

But he didn’t. Which was what hurt Dick the most, the angry look in Tim’s eyes and the way his fists clenched when Dick came into Tim’s room. Tim had access to the whole manor, but he stuck mostly to his room, refusing to talk to anyone.

Especially Dick.

And now, it seemed, his latest tactic was a hunger strike.

“I’ll let you look over the burglary case we’re working on,” Dick offered. “I’ll bring you all the files and your computer if you just…” he gestured to the salad, “eat something.”

That had worked, in the beginning. Dick could coax good behavior out of Tim by offering to let Tim help with whatever case Dick was facing. It took a load off of Dick’s back and gave Tim something to focus on.

Of course, Dick couldn’t leave Tim’s computer with him. The first time Dick did that, Tim managed to break all of the firewalls and safeties put on it to start a case file about Bruce. Dick had to delete everything and only allow Tim monitored access from that point on.

After that, Tim really didn’t like Dick.

“Can’t you just go back to ignoring me?” Tim snapped. He sounded… resigned. Emotionless in a way he hadn’t been, like all the fight he’d been putting up for weeks was finally going out.

“Ignoring you?” Dick frowned. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut at the words. He kept a wide berth from Tim, wary of more punches being thrown, and decided to sit at Tim’s desk chair, a good few feet from where Tim was on his bed. “What makes you think I’m ignoring you?”

Tim scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You only talk to me to ask if I’ve dropped the Bruce thing yet, or to try to force self-care on me. The rest of the time you ignore me so you don’t have to face your own guilt.”

Dick violently shook his head. “That’s not-” he sighed, running a hand over his face- “I’m just busy, I promise. Between being Batman, managing Bruce’s estate, and trying to handle Damian, I just…” his voice trailed off. So many things to balance. He still didn’t know how Bruce managed it all. “I haven’t made enough time for you. I’m sorry.”

He decided to take on the burden of helping Tim. It was his responsibility and Tim was right, Dick was doing a piss poor job of taking care of him.

No wonder he pushed away Dick’s attempts to reconcile. It must’ve come across as half-assed, in Tim’s eyes.

Dick wished Bruce was here. He would’ve known the right way to handle this.

“Don’t start now,” Tim said icily. He picked up a book from his nightstand and opened it, pointedly not looking at Dick anymore. “Just leave me alone.”

“Will you eat first?” Dick asked. “If you just eat, I’ll go. I promise.”

With a loud sigh, Tim snapped his book shut. He picked up the salad Dick brought and shoveled down mouthfuls, all while glaring at Dick. Once the bowl was empty he set it back down and spread his hands, waiting.

Dick didn’t leave.

He wasn’t going to abandon Tim.

Dick stood up and Tim relaxed for just a moment before he realized Dick was walking toward Tim’s bed instead of the door. Slowly, like he was approaching a wild animal, Dick crept forward. He chose to sit on the foot of the bed, still far enough away from Tim to give him personal space.

“Tim-”

“Out. Now. You promised.”

Dick ran his fingers through his hair. “I know, but-”

“What do you want from me?” Tim almost yelled the words. “Do you want me to just say I don’t believe Bruce is alive? Will you finally leave me alone, then?”

“Can you say it under a truth serum?”

Tim went quiet, grinding his jaw.

“I want you to get better,” Dick sighed.

“What happens when I get better, then?” Tim challenged. He moved to sit cross-legged on the bed. So close to Dick that Dick could reach out and touch him, but emotionally, they were miles apart and it hurt Dick’s chest. “You ‘fix me’-” he put finger quotes around the words- “to your liking, then set me free?”

“Don’t talk about yourself like you’re an animal.” Dick frowned, fist clenching at the idea Tim thought of himself that way.

Tim just stared at him. “Then don’t treat me like one.” He raised a hand and tapped the collar.

It looked like it had new scratch marks on it.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Dick said. He tried to find the words. It was so hard to explain it when Tim wasn’t listening to him. He wasn’t even given a chance. Dick tried to reach out. For once, Tim didn’t pull away. He was completely rigid under Dick’s touch, though. His hand rested on Tim’s arm, thumb stroking back and forth. “You know I’m doing this because… because I’m worried about you. And I care, Tim.”

“No you don’t,” Tim leaned away from Dick, but didn’t pull his arm free. “Whatever version of me exists in your head-”

“Tim-”

“-isn’t real,” Tim ignored him and kept going. “You won’t even listen to my theory-”

“Tim!” Dick tightened his grip, ignoring the small wince of pain that came out of Tim. “I’m not entertaining that kind of talk.” He tried to be firm but loving with his tone. But even Dick could hear the anger and frustration that was bleeding off of him. “This is practically self harm.”

“I know I’m right,” Tim mumbled. He wouldn’t look at Dick. “Will you just leave, now?”

Against his better judgment, Dick stood up. He had to patrol soon. “I’m sorry. We’ll talk after-”

“I’m going to sleep,” Tim snapped. “No, we won’t.”

Dick tried to throw his hands up in frustration, but he was still holding onto Tim’s arm.

He didn’t want to let go.

He knew Tim was waiting for him to let go, but Dick couldn’t force his fingers to release. He just stared for a moment, breathing hard.

Dick was doing this out of love.

And now, he loved Tim too much to want to let go of him.

Did he have to patrol tonight? He was pretty sure the Birds of Prey were in Gotham.

“Dick,” Tim said carefully, starting to scoot away from him. The apprehension in his voice was unsteady, eyes narrowed. He was always too on edge. “I’m tired. Just go on patrol.”

Instead of letting go, Dick lifted his other hand and held Tim’s face. Tim flinched but stopped inching away. He was completely still, barely even breathing.

He looked afraid of Dick.

Dick’s chest clenched. He wished he could get Tim to understand. Dick leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Tim’s forehead.

He wanted to kiss somewhere else, somewhere a few inches lower and just as unobtainable. That was a feeling Dick buried deep, deep inside of him.

It wasn’t why he was doing this.

A hand pressed against Dick’s chest. Trying to push Dick away, but for just a moment, the pressure and warmth almost made Dick shudder. Tim hadn’t properly trained in a while.

He wasn’t actually strong enough to push Dick off of him. If Dick wanted to, Tim couldn’t have stopped him.

But their relationship was already fractured. It would take a long time of repairing and letting Tim heal before Dick could even try pursuing those feelings.

Tim had once had a childhood crush on Dick, though. So he was pretty sure they could work their way up to it, be something more.

Dick pulled away. He let go of Tim’s arm and allowed himself one stroke of Tim’s hair. It was getting a little long, brushing against Tim’s shoulders.

The entire time, Tim remained perfectly still. But his eyes got wider and wider, the way they always did when he had just figured out a case.

Dick was getting too close. He needed to pull back.

“You still have the spare comm link?” Dick asked.

Tim didn’t answer. He just kept staring with those wide, searching eyes. He looked a little pale. Dick should get him some iron supplements, Tim becoming anemic is the last thing Dick wanted.

“Use it if you need me for anything,” Dick continued. He gave Tim what he hoped was a calming smile. “Get some sleep, Tim. I love you.”

He turned and walked out of Tim’s room. Slowed to crawl at a snail’s pace, hoping for an answer from Tim. He would take any kind of answer.

But Tim kept silent, even as Dick took his time intentionally, slowly closing the door. Dick just sighed, turning down the hall to head down to the Batcave.

Someday, he’d get through to Tim. Dick would find a way.

Someday soon.

[milayawr]

Sweet Apologies

Nikolai Lantsov x F!Reader

Summary: Anniversaries are important for Nikolai, but yet, he can ignore some tiny mistakes of yours.

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2,027

Notes: I need a Nikolai Lantsov.

My requests are still open but I didn't have time to finish writing them. The school is keeping me busy enough. I'll finish them and share them, but you can share your sweet fic ideas with me!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

He knew that waiting for an angel might be so hard. It was devastating from the inside. His angel was not showing up, but he held onto his hope so tightly that his hope had been hurt.

He had everything ready. A romantic dinner with candle lights, some music to dance; cause you loved dancing and he was excellent at it. He even left his latest project to get ready. Everything was there but you.

The most important thing was you. He couldn't just sit, eat, dance, and chat all by himself at an anniversary of yours.

This was the second year that you both were together. After the war that happened Nikolai had confessed his love for you. There had been sweet moments between you two this year. Like he always had some place of his body injured just to be healed by you.

He knew that you were the best healer, even before he fell in love with you. You were brave, selfless, and careful. You had attended the war to heal people and Nikolai had to admit that he was fascinated by your selflessness, and a little bit scared for you.

You saved his life once, when he was injured you came to the rescue. He had seen He deserved to get his happy moments more, and you longed to give it to him. your face before so he was familiar with you, but he had never seen your pretty face that close. He could remember slightly because he was nearly unconscious but your sweet voice telling him things made his life better. Seeing your face had changed his life. He felt like he died that day and was reborn as a man who was precisely in love.

So after the war, he had his ways to see you more. When he understood that you flirt back with the charming king he took the first step.

The best choice he made was when he first kissed you and he didn't want to know about the last one. He wanted his last breath to be intertwined with yours, he didn't want to die without your kisses.

Your always shy kisses and touches... He would die for them.

He missed you.

He had to see you, touch you, kiss you, take your breath in his lungs... He needed you as he needed air.

But where were you?

It had been three hours. He was waiting and waiting for you to show up. He was clearly upset. First, he missed you because he hadn't seen your pretty face since last night. Second, it was an anniversary for saints' sake. Celebrating the anniversaries meant showing some kind of affection and love. Nikolai knew that you knew how he was looking forward to this night to come.

And yet, he was all alone in the room.

He blew out the candles as the clock went to midnight. Five hours. He spent five hours for you but you didn't show up. Maybe there was something wrong. He hoped it was wrong because he didn't want anything to happen to you.

Nikolai felt hopeless as he went to the healers' infirmary. You were always there. Working. Sometimes making out with your handsome lover, and sometimes even naughty things, but always working apart from the little getaways.

As he entered there, as always, he had everyone's attention. They started to whisper but he didn't care.

"Have you seen Y/N?" He asked to some girk that was passing by him.

"She left hours ago, My King." The healer said. "Actually left earlier today. She said she had to sleep because she felt so tired." She explained and explained.

Nikolai's face never went to relieved and this scared the girl a little. She looked like she was going to say more but Nikolai left her side.

He went right into your room. Where you started to stay at the palace. It was Nikolai's favorite place as it smelled like you.

He quietly entered your room. His eyes wander around your room to find your bed. He saw your figure lying on the bed. You didn't even bother to cover yourself up. He ushered to the bed.

Nikolai gently pulled the duvet and covered you up. He sat on the bed and watched your face. Your tangled hair was all over the pillow. He wanted to hold them and take their smell inside of him. They always smelled so nice.

"Nik," You murmured as he started to play with your hair gently.

"Yes, love." He whispered. His voice was low but his eyes were loud enough to express his love.

"Will you take me to the sea?" Your eyes were still closed and he was sure that you were still sleeping. He loved your little chats while you were asleep. It was cute.

He remembered his little promise when you learned about his days at the sea. As Sturmhond. You wanted to see the life that he lived as a privateer. He wanted to show you.

"Whenever you want." He was busy but he could delay things as he wished. He was the king after all.

"What about now?"

He laughed, "now?"

"Hmhm..."

He kissed your hair. "We can't now since you're sleeping, love."

Something left your lips but he wasn't sure what was it. He kept kissing and playing with your hair. As time passed he took his shoes off and laid next to you. You snuggled close to him as soon as he did that.

To you, he was an escape from the malicious reality of this world. He gave you feelings that only another version of you would feel. Love and being loved were what you desired secretly, but you never thought you'd have those. It took months and years to understand you loved him and he loved you.

You thought it was complicated but it was just that. Love.

Nikolai listened to your breathing as he fell asleep. After meeting you sleeping became as easy as he fell in love with you.

———

Shit.

You might be in deep shit.

Shit, indeed.

That was your first thought as you started to wake up. The curtains that you forgot to close couldn't help you with the sun at all. Your mind was as tangled as your hair. You felt two strong arms around you and it came—

You didn't want to open your eyes. As childish as it sounds, you just didn't care. You knew you couldn't face his disappointment. It was too hard to get through.

Yesterday was busier than you'd ever imagine. Your plans were the same as the last one. Work, leave early, get ready, and celebrate. But you were so tired that you left even earlier. You said that you should sleep before the evening. Not the whole evening.

But you couldn't help. It was a tiring day. But on the other hand, it was a special day. It was your anniversary. It meant everything for Nikolai.

If you kept pretending to sleep you'd never have to see his disappointment, sadness, and a bit of anger.

Yeah, just sleep.

"I know that you're awake, love."

"Nikolai, I'm so so so so sorry." You said as your eyes met. "I fell asleep and I know that I should never and I'm sorry for this."

His rough voice made you shiver. You wandered your hand around his chest as you yawned. You slowly opened your beautiful eyes. He was already watching you. He always did that. Waking up early just to watch you sleeping. It was a bit creepy but you didn't care at all.

You can't take time back, he always said. He gives these events so much importance. What earth were you on? You should've never slept.

"It's okay—"

You cut his sentence from the beginning. "I know it's not! Please stop pretending as if it's alright to ditch you."

"Y/N," he said softly. "It's really okay. You were tired and I saw it all this week. It's a busy working week. Also, I'd rather you rest than stay awake."

You were glowing and he could guess how much you had used of your small science. He always had the idea of healers having the easiest of all but he was definitely wrong.

He slowly kissed your forehead. "It's really okay."

"But I know that you're upset."

"I am, not gonna lie. But seeing you like this melts my sadness." He smiled as an idea popped up. "Let's have breakfast in the garden together. We can ask for anything you crave. I, for one, would kill to eat some bread with jam."

His love for that thing always made you laugh.

"You aren't angry, right?"

"You're kidding, right?" How can I be mad at a pretty face such as yours? Believe me, I'm not."

You knew it was slightly wrong but you were still relieved.

"I love you, Nik. I'm sorry."

"I love you. And stop apologizing." His hands wandered to your sides and his mouth came close to your ear to whisper. "But I might have to give you a punishment."

"What—"

Your laugh was the thing that stopped you from talking anymore. You kept laughing as he tickled your sides.

"Wait!" You screamed as you laughed more. "I—" You tried to continue, but still he was being naughty. "I thought— I was forgiven!"

He ended it as he left your cheek a kiss. "Now, you're fully forgiven, my sweet."

"Oh, I'm glad." You breathed. Your chin had hurt because of your laughing session. "I love you and I'm so—"

This time it was a kiss that interrupted you. His intoxicating lips were on yours in a second. Your only reaction was to kiss him back. It was a slow kiss. Laziest ever, but still special.

He pulled back to say something. "I told you to stop that." He left a tiny kiss again. "Come on," he pulled you with him as he got up. "Let's have breakfast and talk about your day, then my day, and after that maybe we will walk beside the lake. I'm all yours till tomorrow."

"I thought you had meetings."

"Not today. No, not when you have booked my whole day."

He was the sweetest man that ever entered your life and you loved him for it. You loved him for many things.

You got up smiling. He reassured you that he was not heartbroken, sad, mad, or disappointed. Having a day with him would fix his little broken emotions and you were far more than ready for it.

It was what love meant. Doing anything to make the other happy. Having a day with him would have to fix his little broken emotions and you were far more than ready for it. If he was happy, you were happy.

You'd be more than happy to spend this day with him. Because this was love. You were ready to do anything to have love even after your death. You wanted Nikolai to be your end.

You loved him and he loved you. It was that simple.

"Okay," you said. "Let's have breakfast and do whatever you want. I want it to be your day."

"Well, how can I say no to that." He smirked. "I'll be in my room, changing. You'll take me there." He winked at you as you giggled.

"We have a date then."

"Yes, we do my sweet lady."

You kept your smile on your face as you got ready for the day. You had to make it up for last night and you were going to try your best to keep him away from his daily duties.

This day was for him and you. Nothing to interrupt. You wished for this morning to go the same. You wanted to apologize without the words.

You were so sure that you'd make this day his best.

Last night was a mistake that you made because of your tiredness. But today you were fully recovered from yesterday and ready to make it up with your lover.

He deserved to get his happy moments more, and you longed to give it to him.