#sorry for the huge meta

[misspermitted]

Really long ramble ahead: I really enjoy the quote that the main similarity between Xie Wei and Ning is that they’re loyal. Because on one hand, their main similarity is that they’re both ruthlessly manipulative and have serious trust issues and identity problems, but on the other hand, comic relief business guy is right. They’re both extremely loyal and motivated by their loyalty.

Ning is trying to save all of her friends no matter what because no matter the terrible things they did, like Yan Lin, in life 1, she is still loyal to them. She is motivated by her loyalty to Zhang Zhe and the promise she made to him. Xie Wei is motivated by a loyalty to his family, to avenge them, to betray everyone and Lord Pinging to do so, to the risk of death.

Not only this, but as demonstrated by their relationship, neither expects loyalty from others, ever. Xie Wei is loyal to her, his saviour, he does not kill her and tries to protect her out of loyalty to their connection and friendship (among other things), and Ning is completely unaware of this. She trusts he has the same goals as her, and is loyal towards the Yan family: she does not trust he would ever be loyal to her, they simply share a goal.

Ning is loyal to Xie Wei in a more intrinsic sense; that being she could easily sell him out to Zhang Zhe, or set him up, or any of that, and be rid of the main cause of the rebellion and life 1, but she never even considers it. She clearly is not averse to setting people up and does it many times, but still she helps him instead. Her whole “im not interested in your secrets” speech exemplifies this, because by all rights, she should be interested, he is behind the rebels, he slaughtered countless people in life 1, she believes he is capable of killing people again, but she isn’t. She threatens to reveal his secrets but it’s entirely half hearted and Xie Wei knows it. Still, he does not realise this is loyalty: she is scared of him, it is fear (except she hasn’t been scared of him for a while now but still). Or it is trust in his loyalty and that they have the same motivations (which it also isn’t).

Neither expects loyalty from others I believe because their loyalty was hard won. Xie Wei is loyal exclusively to people from his childhood, before his walls were built. Ning is loyal to the people she betrayed, they won her loyalty and appreciation through her acts of disloyalty and cruelty. Ning is only loyal to people she saw before her walls went up, before everyone who ever loved her betrayed her, before she was consumed by guilt. So the budding loyalty between Ning and Xie Wei is unexpected and unacknowledged by either party.

But, given their conflicting goals, I have this feeling their mutual loyalty is gonna be an issue in the future. As is exemplified by ZZ and XW’s enemy/rivalry thing, XW’s actions are progressively going more and more against Nings goal of a good ending, and she is going to have to deal with that at some point.

TLDR: Ning and Xie Wei’s loyalty underpins their motivations and their budding loyalty to each other is big for both characters, who so far are mainly just loyal to people they met before their walls went up, but this mutual loyalty will become a plot issue as both of their motivations begin to diverge.

[vickyvicarious]

I handed to him the sealed letter which Mr. Hawkins had entrusted to me. He opened it and read it gravely; then, with a charming smile, he handed it to me to read. One passage of it, at least, gave me a thrill of pleasure.

"I must regret that an attack of gout, from which malady I am a constant sufferer, forbids absolutely any travelling on my part for some time to come; but I am happy to say I can send a sufficient substitute, one in whom I have every possible confidence. He is a young man, full of energy and talent in his own way, and of a very faithful disposition. He is discreet and silent, and has grown into manhood in my service. He shall be ready to attend on you when you will during his stay, and shall take your instructions in all matters."

Inspired by this post looking through Dracula's earlier letter to Jonathan, let's see what the Count might take from this section of Mr. Hawkins' letter.

Red = Jonathan is young, has only worked for Mr. Hawkins so far. He's only recently grown into manhood. He's likely to be a little bit naive and inexperienced, easier to toy with.

Orange = Jonathan may not look it at first glance, but he has great drive and he is smart. Not only will he be able to competently answer Dracula's questions and assist him with the work he's officially here for, but this means he's more likely able to endure a good deal of torment before breaking down completely. He'll be entertaining for a while to come.

Green = He will try his best to complete this job, even if just out of loyalty. He won't speak up for himself. How much pushing will it take to break his silence?

Blue = He's going to do what Dracula wants. Whatever he wants. He's obedient. How far can that be pushed? What kinds of unexplained orders will he follow?

Like... Dracula was expecting Mr. Hawkins. He would probably still have fun/use him as a resource as planned, but an old, experienced lawyer who is no longer in the prime of his life wouldn't be nearly as interesting for him, or for nearly as long. We see what his tastes run towards later... and Jonathan fits them all perfectly. No wonder he smiled so charmingly after reading this.

From Dracula's perspective, this description of Jonathan is more and more exciting. It absolutely gives him an idea of the kind of guest he has even beyond what he's already learned/confirming some things he's seen (Jonathan didn't speak up in the ride to the castle even when it was obviously not a straight trip there. He tried to save the driver from the wolves.), and it's all the sort of information that will make Dracula eager to test Jonathan. To see how far he can push him, to draw this out as slow as possible.

I don't think Jonathan was the only one here who felt " a thrill of pleasure" reading Mr. Hawkins' letter.

[pocketgalaxies]

Hello! I hope I’m not bothering you. I just feel confused about what I keep missing in episode 63, and I’m wondering what characterization or moments of detail I’m missing out on about Orym purposely enabling Delilah’s revival, or letting it happen? I had totally misremembered and thought that Hunger of the Shadow killed Bor’dor and so Orym nodding was a “We need to do this” that had multiple interpretations and Consequences. I had always thought it was a really ill-timed “He needs to die” that happened before Laudna used Hunger to kill Bor’dor

but after rewatching the whole fight, I realized Hunger of the Shadow only knocked Bor’Dor unconscious. The failed death saves came from Prism’s punch and Wither and Bloom. And it turned out Orym’s nodding thing came after Hunger of the Shadow and Delilah’s heart started beating again and not before like I had thought, so now idk what it is that Orym did that lead to Delilah’s return? I keep rewatching the fight trying to figure it out but I’m not seeing it 😭 Liam on 4sd and Beacon discord said that after Orym clocked that Delilah was probably back he thought that Delilah would be helpful against the Vanguard (this aged well :’D), but Orym’s suspicion that Delilah returned happened as Laudna was killing Bor’Dor and got “30% scarier,” not before Laudna decision to kill Bor’Dor or Hunger of the Shadow. I’m trying just to figure out how he could have “let” the revival happen before the fact? Because it’s a common topic of discussion among critters but now idk what it’s referencing?

I guess an argument could be made that nobody stopped Laudna before she did hunger of the shadow, but again I don’t think anybody was thinking of Delilah? My personal interpretation was that on Laudna’s turn in initiative, the party simply saw Laudna attacking Bor’dor and didn’t discourage it because guy had just betrayed them and dealt 10d4 acid damage to everyone— and not because they saw any strategic benefit in Laudna attacking. When the purple eyes in the Form of Dread appeared, I had just thought that was a manifestation of Laudna’s hurt at being betrayed again and tying it to Delilah (but that’s just my interpretation). Taliesin definitely clocked that eye color, look at his face 😂 But I can’t see how the characters knew beforehand that Laudna was specifically intending to make a move that would revive Delilah? And that this was a move that was strategic to enable? And Orym didn’t even suspect Delilah until Bor’Dor’s death with wither and bloom.

Are the purple eyes why critters keep bringing up Orym? But then that has nothing to do with the Nod that is moreso getting brought up. And wouldn’t Ashton get equal mention before Ep95 aired because they both didn’t stop Laudna on her turn?

The timeline beats I’m getting are that it’s Laudna’s turn in initiative after she counterspells Bor’dor’s attempted polymorph. On her turn, she does Form of Dread wit the purple eyes then casts Hunger of the Shadow, dealing damage and knocking Bor’Dor unconscious. Then she feels Delilah reawaken within her through the heart beat.

It’s now Prism’s turn and she punches Bor’Dor, autocritting and taking off 2 death saves.

Laudna’s form has been darkening and at this point, the mourning veil appears over Laudna. Liam notes that Orym has been watching, silent. Ashton also sees all of this and drops their rage. When it’s Laudna’s choice whether to end Bor’dor, Orym nods. Laudna is barely present and is cycling through her own trauma and memories at the moment, then she makes her decision and uses Wither and Bloom to kill Bor’Dor. Familiar purple flame and green light that Ashton and Orym recognize manifests as flowers bloom and Bor’Dor form cracks and withers.

So Delilah had already been revived before Prism punched Bor’dor and Laudna dealt the last death save, so I guess I just feel confused about what is Orym’s connection to Laudna bringing back Delilah?

The nod was endorsement to kill Bor’Dor. At that point that’s what the conversation was about, whether or not Laudna was gonna kill him. Delilah had already been revived

Like yeah Orym saw some potential advantage with Delilah once he realized what had happened, but he didn’t seem to cause any of it? But it’s a point constantly brought up, so I’m feeling confused about how it happened.

Sorry this got long. I tend to ramble

hi anon, thank you for being respectful and curious in this message, instead of coming at my throat. i appreciate it more than you know! i will do my best to explain this perspective

in the time between laudna's resurrection and bor'dor's death, the presence of delilah was questionable at best. they had "sundered" her in laudna's mind palace whitestone, pike seemed to think delilah was no longer present, and delilah was completely quiet for that stretch of time. i think a lot of people were waiting for the other shoe to drop, but there was also the idea that maybe she really was gone, or at least significantly weakened.

chronologically, here's what happened during that fight. bor'dor reveals his true alliances and turns on the party. per liam's statements in 4SDx14, orym decides that bor'dor cannot be allowed to live, because of the danger that any ruby vanguard member poses to the general public and other innocent lives. laudna says this:

she casts hunger of the shadow. prism does a bit more damage. then, as bor'dor falls:

the "faint shimmer of a mourning veil" explicitly mirrors the pre-resurrection form of dread and definitively reflects delilah, suggesting that delilah's influence is visibly returning. then, liam says this:

("you just see this" is where he nods.) per liam's statements in 4SDx14, orym realizes that laudna has opened the door again for delilah to reemerge, but he also thinks, "yeah, we're gonna need that." (liam's words, not mine.)

laudna casts wither and bloom for the hdywtdt, with the following description:

please draw your attention to the statement that the world has broken her and that she was trying to keep this dormant until she couldn't anymore. she is barely there, she has lost herself. more on this later.

with this information, it's inaccurate to say that orym caused delilah to come back. she already came back, as we can see with the chronology above. i will admit that i didn't realize the nod came after the veil, and i think that's an important thing to clarify. i will also say that most of us never fucking said that he caused delilah to come back in the first place, but i digress

this is a total sidebar but i think there's also an important distinction to make between orym deciding bor'dor needs to die because he poses a danger to the civilians around him (again, per liam's statements in 4SDx14), vs. laudna deciding bor'dor needs to die because he betrayed her. one is calculated and intentional with an understanding of the big picture and its consequences. the other is deeply personal and impulsive and blind to the consequences. this could be a separate post but suffice to say i think that when you're approving of your friend killing someone, it matters why they are killing them, and it matters if their "why" is different from your "why" because it will affect them differently than it would've affected you after committing the act. because of this, it could be argued that letting laudna kill bor'dor negatively affected her psyche more than if the roles were switched and laudna let orym do it, because orym could see the bigger picture and laudna was simply coming from a place of pain. it was a huge character moment from orym, i think it's fascinating, and i don't think it was wrong from a storytelling perspective even if it could be argued either way from a morality perspective. so i'll just leave that there.

anyway, the reason this is all relevant, is because it is a reflection of what orym says in ep 95, which is "you're right. why do i need the help of some dark force?" intended to suggest that she shouldn't cast judgment upon him for using a dark weapon when she uses the dark magic given to her by delilah.

what many people have tried to bring up about this statement is the issue of choice and agency. orym picked up otohan's blade and decided it would be meaningful to him, and also empowering from a mechanical standpoint, to wield it. which is fine, for his character story! laudna might not like it, and fearne might not like it, but it's something he did, and it's interesting! but the sticking point is that such a level of intention and purpose is simply not present in laudna's story. it could be argued endlessly how much of every laudna decision is actually laudna vs. how much of it is delilah, but regardless of what you think, it is plainly true that, in the high stakes and game-changing choices, at least some part of it is always delilah.

and per marisha's description above, laudna was trying to keep that dormant within her for a long time. it wasn't until bor'dor that it was unleashed in full. and in that moment, delilah's process of overtaking laudna completely was kickstarted. that isn't to say that delilah would've never come back if bor'dor didn't die the way he did, but it is to say that it happened earlier than it otherwise would have, and it's been a slippery slope of dwindling agency and psychological power-hungry manipulation ever since then.

the point of the argument is that it doesn't feel fair when laudna says "how dare you use that dark blade," for orym to throw it back at her and say "the same way you dare to use delilah." because orym wanted to use the blade for its power no matter the cost, and orym thinks delilah is useful for those same reasons, so for him perhaps they can be equated. but when delilah came back in ep 63, laudna didn't want her to. it broke her and it happened in a moment of terrible pain and anguish after weeks of trying to keep her at bay, and she hasn't been able to stop it ever since. and she's been getting mixed messages from orym and everyone else the entire time about whether she would be more useful if she just gave in entirely. but nobody seems to like what she turns into when she gives in even a little bit. nobody seems to understand that they are gravely underestimating how corrupt and dangerous laudna will get if they let this go unchecked for the sake of gathering more power to take down ludinus.

at the end of the day we're just people who think laudna is an interesting character with a vastly complicated psyche that dictates why she made a choice like this, and we were pointing out something that orym said that felt unfair to those nuances. in response, people have been painting us out to be demonic and illiterate misogynists who are stealing away laudna's agency and blaming her entire warlock pact on orym who's just doing what's right. forget being unfair to laudna, that's unfair to the equally interesting arc that liam is creating with orym, of an ambiguously levelheaded, hypervigilant, war- and grief-driven soldier. we should all know by now that liam is not interested in making infallible characters, but you wouldn't know it based on the amount of backlash being thrown at us for pointing out that hey, maybe that one thing orym said was flawed.

anon, if you've made it this far, please continue to be kind and ask questions of others to understand their perspectives. i appreciate you.

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

Squip Contagion Theory

A theory about what squips really “want” and how they reproduce! I’m sure people have already looked at every angle of this stuff back in The Olden Days of bmc fandom, but what the heck, I had fun putting it into words anyway. Forewarning that a decent amount of it is based in speculation rather than evidence. 

As usual, I bolded all the major stuff + tldr at the start because I talk too much lmao

tl;dr

Like most other organisms on this planet, a squip’s primary goal is to reproduce. (Which makes sense - things that reproduce more are just going to outnumber things that don’t. Especially when squip reproduction directly translates to human monetary profit).

As a potential host, you’re made to feel worthless in some area of your life (what I term the “axis of torment”) by a current host, until you’re psychologically ready to buy and obey a squip. 

The squip then compels you to make other people worthless in the same area of life, until the squip (as it has been marketed to you) seems like a natural solution to their problems. 

You might then offer the squip to your victims because your own squip encourages you to (as Rich does to Jeremy) and/or you come to believe that it just… really is the natural solution to their problems. (Jeremy to Michael: “I think you’re pissed I have one and you don’t!”)

This produces a chain of people who all (A) have squips, (B) produce more squip-hosts by ‘infecting’ (squipping) the particularly susceptible people around them (creating more squip demand → more squip production, yada yada yada), and (C) hold similar beliefs about the purpose of squips (cool pills, smart pills — and ostensibly anything else a brain pill could do, like “fixing” speech impediments as they mention in the book).

(cont)

Squips as symbiotes

The question I started with: Why does Rich’s squip decide that Jeremy needs a squip? And why now instead of earlier?

I mean, it’s odd, right? The squip’s primary goal is to improve people’s lives. Using Rich as a host/avatar, the squip makes choices that improve Rich’s life, and then essentially recommends itself to Jeremy in order to improve his life, too. That all makes sense!  …Except wait, if that was always the point, then why did it also decide to beat the crap out of Jeremy for over a year in the interim?

I’ve been rolling around the theory that squips don’t actually have a strong directive to improve people’s social standing or intelligence or anything like that — like most other organisms, all they really want to do is reproduce. 

If you think about it, they’re not that dissimilar to a virus in terms of their reproductive cycle. The only way a virus can reproduce is by taking over the cells of other organisms and forcing them to manufacture more viruses.* Squips need humans — not only to produce more squips, but also to provide their habitat (i.e. the human brain) and possibly their power source, and grant them physical presence in the world (if you’ve read Animorphs, you probably know what I’m talking about here). Squips are obligate parasites,** and humans are their host species. 

*[I’m not a virologist. This is probably an egregious generalization.] **[i.e. parasites that can’t survive outside of a host. Also, parasite is a loaded word here but I can’t get into that.]

Obviously, the easiest way to ensure the future of squipkind would be to “poison the water supply” (a la The Play), or at least squip a lot of people who are able to manufacture squips. Why they don’t just do that is definitely relevant (my personal theory is actually just the same explanation they use in — you guessed it — Animorphs, which posits that voluntary hosts are easier to control).

But I don’t really have time to dive into that here, so I just want to talk about the more subtle, deliberate tactic they use instead. Under squip contagion theory, squips prefer to select specific people and individually prepare them to become hosts.

Chain of torment: Rich → Jeremy

Rich’s squip torments Jeremy until he’s completely lost all sense of self worth, and then when he finally hits rock bottom — look at that, I’ve got just the thing! Just the thing to fix exactly the problem that I personally gave you! Crazy how that works out. 

…And it’s weird that it’s marketed like that to Jeremy, right? As a coolness pill? At least according to Michael, other people have been using it for intelligence/academics — and that’s just on top of his other amazing argument that didn’t get enough credit in the script honestly: (“You really think its primary function is to get you LAID? … of all possible applications for such a mind-blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside of YOU?”) Certainly, it could be a catch-all “pill that fixes your life.” But for what it’s worth, scary stock boy seems to believe it’s specifically a coolness pill, too. (J: “How did you know why I’m here?” / SSB: “Just look at you, kid.”) 

I actually think the squips are just creating chains of customers, each tormenting the next on some axis of jealousy (like coolness or success) and then offering the squip as a solution to that jealousy. So by necessity, the next customer has to want the squip for the same reason you did, because that’s the only axis you can torment them on — the same one the squip has improved for you. This creates different “strains” of marketing. 

WOW friend’s brother has specifically been told that he’s an idiot (ostensibly by society, since they invoke grades, but obviously I like to imagine a squip was involved lol), and he thinks he’s buying a “pill that makes you smarter.” 

Rich(‘s squip) makes him popular, which makes Jeremy feel unpopular, so he must market the squip as a “popularity pill.” 

Axis of torment: Jeremy → Michael & Brooke

But not just a popularity pill. Rich SPECIFICALLY markets the squip as a pill that makes you feel seen — not just a blip, or a guy nobody even remembers going to their school. And then, well, what does Jeremy(‘s squip) proceed to do to Michael and Brooke…?

I’ll admit, it’s not the strongest theory, but I do think it’s an interesting framework in light of how Jeremy’s squip went “fuck this guy in particular” and decided to bring Michael to his absolute breaking point, to make him “wish [he] was never born.”* For just this brief moment, he’s finally reached Jeremy levels of disregard for his own identity. Because like Jeremy and pre-squip Rich, Michael has quite LITERALLY become invisible.

*[And yeah, I know this was partially unsquipped Jeremy’s doing, but I can’t even pretend to believe that this isn’t exactly what the squip would want him to do anyway.]

(Also, I know this is debatably to separate Jeremy from the Red? I won’t pretend I have a brilliant argument against that, because it’s a really fair point. But just as a thought, I also don’t think that was the most surefire way to eliminate Red from the equation.)

But hey, you know what’d actually be great for that? What could really turn things around for you, Michael? Hey, you know what could help you not be a loner and a stoner and a loser who drives a PT Cruiser? It’s like, this crazy thing you’ve probably never even heard of. Really obscure stuff. Yeah, it’s from Japan actually?

On Brooke: there was actually… no coolness-related reason to specifically target this girl who got cheated on, and then try to make Jeremy “cheat” on her. Is that really supposed to make him look cool? Even if it had gone as planned, it would’ve still just gotten half the cool kids in school to absolutely fucking hate him!

(Oh yeah, and also make Brooke feel completely worthless. But I’m sure that’s just collateral damage. I mean, it’s not like we have anything to gain from making some kid feel unseen and undesirable. Especially not when she lives in such close emotional proximity to two different squip hosts who are actively doing better in that department. Just a shame, really.)

And a final bit of anecdotal evidence, this time for Jenna: (JH: “That’s sad, what should I do?” SQ: “You should ignore her.”) Much like Michael and Brooke, here’s another kid on the margins of the social sphere. Why not make her feel just a little more invisible?

end note

// If you want a conclusion paragraph go read the TLDR again :P

Tysm for reading!!!! I know at heart the squip is just a total plot device, but it’s fun to get into the scifi lol. If you have your own theories feel free to share!! I know this is not the most solid interpretation out there :P

(Now excuse me while I try very hard to not write an Animorphs AU. Can’t believe K.A. Applegate single-handedly invented the idea of organisms that enlist down-on-their-luck people to take them into their brains and control what they do. Good for her.)

[rawliverandgoronspice]

regarding common tropes about ganon's writing in fics, I am kind of always taken aback a little anytime ganondorf uses degrading sexist terms in fics and such. Because to me, even his most evil interpretations would probably have no reason to have negative associations with women who have sex a lot, unless he picked it up from elsewhere (like there's some room for it to be interesting psychologically speaking if that's directly addressed, but it never is). I'm not sure why the gerudos would ever cultivate these kind of misogynistic ideas in their own culture, or why Ganondorf would spontaneously decide to form any essentialist ideas he may potentially develop on the basis of promiscuity, of all things. And, if he would pick that up from Hyrule... why would he, why this, and how does that map out with him remaining proudly gerudo in most iterations if he sees any non-married woman getting funky in a negative way?

it's kind of a very small thing, but it does kind of beckons a lot of questions regarding worldbuilding and psychology and it tends to take me out of fics a little, because it's always kind of assumed and never investigated

[57sfinest]

something that’s been on my mind a lot also is like. the potential for conflict between kim and harry because of harry’s can-opening. 

kim is obviously deeply repressed and while that’s not necessarily a good thing, and he’s not necessarily happy about being that way, it’s also not up to harry to decide that he needs to be exposed. harry can be good for kim in this context if and only if it’s kim making the decision to open up. it can be good for kim if kim is like “there is no way i can ever be as openly fucked up and embarrassing as this guy. he is a freak and a disaster on a level i could never aspire to. so i guess it’s fine if we’re friends. he can know me a little bit.” then it’s great and they foil each other well and their relationship can be healthy and fulfilling for them both!

but there’s also a version of their relationship that starts out okay but goes down in flames because harry just can’t help himself. he either can’t or won’t stop the prying and kim has no inclination to let harry in. there’s a harry that will push kim’s buttons and provoke him and say or do awful things just to see how kim reacts. there is a kim that has no tolerance for harry’s behavior, no desire to play along, and not enough patience to give him more than one or two chances. and kim wouldn’t be wrong for that! kim has no obligation to give harry chances and no obligation to be vulnerable just because harry wants to know he smoked weed back in his 20s (which is a small complaint of mine. as funny as that dialogue is, i kind of wish that even passing that check didn’t actually give you a secret. kim deserves to be able to say no and doing so is way more consistent with his character.)

yes, sometimes kim NEEDS that little bit of pressure from harry so he has an excuse to do something he wants to do anyway, but that’s exactly it: it’s something he *already wants to do*. like the jackets or the dancing or the cryptid talk. harry’s blundering lack of reservations is an excuse for kim to loosen up on his own- it absolves kim of ultimate responsibility, protecting him, and that allows him to *do* things, freeing him. done this way, the dynamic can be healthy and mutually beneficial. but it’s also good to acknowledge the ways in which harry can try to expose kim in harmful ways that drive them apart.

[27-royal-teas]

literally on my knees begging for the phoenix essay because it’s my all time fave fall out boy song and it makes me feel emotions on the shrimp spectrum

ok!! well!! ask and you shall receive, dear anon, your wish is my command :)) and because i love when people are excited about what i have to say and you are very nice <33 however, i will warn you, this is less of a structured essay and more of a massive infodump, so be warned !!

OK SO. THE PHOENIX. first off musically it's a fantastic song. and its actually scientifically proven that typically strings are used to increase musical tension and emotional tension so usually when you hear fast strings it means that they (the artist) want you to feel stressed, angry, or excited. We can apply this to the beginning of The Phoenix specifically because fob wants you to get hyped!!! It's their opening song for their newest album and for them, this shit is TERRIFYING. will you still want them or will you skip to another song? It's such a stark contrast to the first line of cork tree ("brothers and sisters, put this record down") because they want you to do the exact opposite of that. This is the one they want to use to hook you, to pull you in. Fall Out Boy is back, and this time they've brought even more intensity than before. They want to know: will you still be here? will you listen? these strings are not quite the old fall out boy, will you find them compelling and stick around?

andys drum work on this song is also INCREDIBLE. It's got this pounding, heavy beat. i constantly say that andy is the backbone of the band and i feel like that's more musically apparent in this song than anything. If i really want to scrounge for symbolism, I can say that by making andy's drumbeat stand out so much more in this song, the band is saying that they as a whole are more stable and reliable, just like their backbone. the drummer keeps the beat, the pace. they keep the band on track. together, the instruments (drum, strings, bass) bring the song together into a really rounded sound and it feels so FULL. there are some songs that are spiky, but this one is round all the way through.

and now that we're through with talking about the music itself, let's talk about the lyrics. i love the lyrics in this song so fucking much. it's so pete wentz and even more than that it's the most perfect song to open with. im gonna try to discuss every line and how it relates to the album and fall out boy's history at the time of release + they message they attempt to convey with this song and album. ive been wanting to make an essay on this for a while actually so thank you for giving me this ask as an opportunity to barf my stupid brain out onto tumblr

ok anyway let's start off with the first line-- "put on your war paint". this line is repeated twice: the very beginning and the very end. Why? because it's bold. this album is called save rock and roll. it is giving us a mission to accomplish from the very start. we are gearing up for a war. this is the image that is being painted of the entire album, and it starts from the very beginning- put on your war paint, prepare for battle. the first song is us (cough, the band, cough) preparing for the war as a whole. this is the intro, the gather, the plan. because we are saving rock and roll, through this album. this is the revival. we are bringing it home. this part musically is very strong and it feels like structure. we are showing here how much power and stability we have. also it makes me think of that one picture of pete putting on eyeliner

i am skipping the entire first verse for now but i will be back to it in a bit i promise! i want to talk about the chorus: “hey Youngblood/ doesn’t it feel/ like our time is running out/ im gonna change you like a remix/ then I’ll raise you like a phoenix”. we’re just going to go over the first half first because it’s kind of long. I think it’s in interesting choice, ‘Youngblood’. it kind of makes me think of mcr’s killjoys. it’s the motif, i guess— this haunting youth. ‘Youngblood’ addresses us ourselves, full of life and blood and rage. it again goes with the plot line of the album. the chorus has a paced feel, like running through a field at top speed. ‘like our time is running out’ references again the portion of ‘we were gone for so long, will you still listen?’ fall out boy’s limited time is nearly out here. they are fighting the clock. they are years older and more mature and they’ve GROWN. their time is running out and they are begging us to listen. and then my FAVORITE line, probably in this whole song. ���I’m gonna change you like a remix, then I’ll raise you like a phoenix’. This entire album is a result of change. Folie a Deux was harshly criticized by the media and the fans because it was a change from fob’s norm. they were mocked mercilessly and basically TOLD TO CHANGE. now, here, they are back, they have made it through alive, and they are better than ever. basically, they have changed but on their own terms. you know how a phoenix is reborn through their ashes? They burn to a crisp when they’ve reached their limit and 100 years later are reborn as babies again. This is why the phoenix is such an important song to open with from the beginning of the album, as well as a fantastic metaphor for the band themselves— because it tells you from the start. Fall out boy is the same, but they have changed. They have grown. And they are better than ever, musically and mentally. This is also good symbolism for rising again even when defeated, which I’ll touch on again later

now, onto the second half of the chorus. The phoenix line is repeated, but preceding that is "wearing our vintage misery/ no, i think it looked a little better on me". fall out boy is kind of known as being part of the 'emo trinity' which, at the time of release, consisted of MCR, FOB and Panic! At The Disco. Personally id replace panic with paramore just because i dislike brendon urie strongly but thats just me. anyway, emo as a subculture in itself is incredibly emotional, and that's the point- emo is short for emotional. (feel free to correct me about any of this at any point of time btw, i am in no way an expert). a consistent trend was a lot of black clothing and the haircuts. i guess this isnt relevant. the relevant part was the emotion. fall out boy in 2009 was miserable. all the members were constantly at each other's throats, and eventually they just called it quits (everyone thought they would never come back, which is why the phoenix metaphor works here). by saying 'wearing our vintage misery' they are saying that they are bringing back that sort of emo-emotional aspect back into their new music, their trademark depressing lyrics, but it's improved. it's a better look on them now because they are doing so much better mentally than they were doing before.

let's backtrack a step to discuss the prechorus: "so we can take the world back from a heart attack/ one maniac at a time we will take it back/ you know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart". pete fucking went OFF in this entire song but this section specifically. musically, the prechorus slows it down. it gives the song tension before exploding into the chorus. the first half of the prechorus again brings up the image of SAVE ROCK AND ROLL. i cant exactly recall what horrific events happened in 2013 to give the world a metaphorical heart attack, because i was very young and stupid and unaware of a lot, but i love the word choice here. one MANIAC at a time we will take it back. we are uniting the beaten, the broken and the damned. pretty much all the big names in emo have made their alliances clear: we take in the ones you don't want. they are the hufflepuffs of music. we will take your maniacs, we will take your people. we will build an army of the ones no one loves and we will take back our world together. possibly im interpreting this wrong but. i just think that's a really lovely image.

(also, pete has a motif in his songs-- mania. theres the entire album, for one, but this, as well.)

"time crawls on when youre waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart" is less obviously clear about rebellion and taking back change but it still is incredibly strong about this nonetheless. you can't sit and wait around for change. you can't expect the good things to come to you immediately, that isn't how the world works. when no one is there to lead you, to guide you, you're gonna have to do it yourself. your heart is steady and it knows the way. trust it. dance alone to the beat of your heart.

ok so now im going back to the first verse. sorry for skipping around the song so much. "you are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down/ strike a match and i'll burn you to the ground" i feel like honestly this line is kind of obvious- someone is holding him (pete) back. i'm not going to outright say it was about ashlee (his current ex-wife) because pete never explicitly confirmed it but it definitely seems super likely judging by the time this was written (pete and ashlee divorced in 2011, which was two years before this song was released).

at this point in writing this essay brain barf my thoughts have become a little dead so im looking at lyricgenius to see what they're saying and it is. so not helpful. like bro pls. add some context to WHY these lyrics are arranged this way. but never mind that FOCUS ON THE WRITING TOBY FUCK

ANYWAY. the next line in this verse is "we are the jack o' lanterns in july, setting fire to the sky/ here, here comes with this rising tide, so come on/ put on your war paint". another theme constantly in Pete Wentz Lyrics is summer. i am drawing the connection here specifically from this song and fourth of july. and there it is again! put on your war paint!

fun fact: the story of the jack o lantern apparently is that some guy named jack made a bargain with satan and was doomed to wander the earth with only the company of a hollowed out turnip. again-- the wanderers. we bring in the wanderers, we take them as our own. we are the light in the darkness. we will set the world ablaze. so come on! get ready for war! we will roll in with the tide, and like a tide, we will destroy if we have to, not because we want to, but because it is in our nature.

final line in the verse: "cross walks and crossed hearts and hope to die/ silver clouds with grey lining". these are two popular phrases that have been altered in minor ways that make a huge difference. ive noticed pete tends to do that often. here hes changed 'cross my heart and hope to die' and 'every cloud has a silver lining'. this change is super important because it flips the themes of the two phrases (The Truth Has Been Spoken and There Is Always a Positive, respectively) and it darkens it. what is the correlation between cross walks and hoping to die? the cars. and by saying 'silver clouds with grey lining' he is flipping the saying to read as 'even though something seems light, there is always a dark side... kind of like a yin yang. which makes me think of the current logo, the smiley-frown. it's always about balance and it's always about an even distribution. but that is irrelevant.

and let's have a chat about the second verse: "bring home the boys in scraps/ scrap metal the tanks/ get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass". this is the most important verse in the song, because this is where the entire theme shows the best. i think from the very start we can make two connections just reading this here, and i bet i can guess what you thought from the start. I bet you saw 'bring home the boys in scraps' and thought oh, toby is totally going to connect that to their motif about 'bring together the unwanted.' and i bet you saw 'we are wearing black masks' and thought ah, toby will definitely relate that to the first line in novocaine. and yeah, you're right. you know me too well, i am a predictable guy. because i 100% will. we KNOW fall out boy. the best example i can use to argue my first point off the top of my head is that they were initially marketed to teenage girls. they were a pop band. i mean, no one can really call them pop now (god, i miss music from the 2000s) but, yeah. no one in the rock or punk scene wanted teenage girls to like their music (because clearly teenage girls were so uncool or whatever) so fall out boy marketed themselves to them. they took in the fans no one wanted.

also, a bank teller is the person who handles customer cash, which is something i did not know until about twenty minutes ago. in the case of a bank robbery, the robber would pass the bank teller a note so that there would be less of a scene. these kind of robberies are called 'note jobs'. so by saying "make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass" essentially the band is using a bank robbery as a metaphor for taking back the world and the injustice that has been served to them, as the youth youngbloods. we are trying to take it back as peacefully as possible, but we are still the ones on the side with the gun. the 'note we pass' is the robbery note. lyricgenius was absolutely shit it did not help me with this i feel very proud that i connected all the dots by myself but maybe i am just an idiot and this is already common knowledge.

we are almost done- this has gotten long, a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. hope that's okay. anyway we just have to go over the bridge and then i'll summarize the song as a whole: "the war is won before it's begun/ release the doves, surrender love". this repeats five times. the war is won before it's begun. this is connected to the second part- release the doves, surrender love- because the band doesn't really WANT to fight. they don't want to HAVE to take in the people who aren't given a category. if we could just learn to love those who were different, we might not have war. we would have won it before it's begun. on the third repeat, there is chanting in the background-- 'wave the white flag'. the white flag is a sign of surrender pretty much universally, and it goes hand in hand with what's being said here. and again. i feel like i keep repeating this- it's the intro song. why would they say this? because they don't really want to fight. remember, the point of a note job is to attract as little attention as possible. we don't want a war. we don't WANT to save rock and roll- but we have to. it is our job, as youth- as youngbloods. and THAT'S the message of this song. we are preparing for a fight for justice that we would rather not take part in, but we have to, to protect ourselves and our past and our future and our people.

this is what the band is saying-- we have been gone for so long, but we are back. and we are here to help. we have changed, but you have changed too, and we are better, and together we will take back what we have lost to achieve peace, even if it takes a millenia, even if we go down fighting. because ultimately, we, ourselves, the ostracized and the mocked and the hurt, we are worth it. We will rise above it like a phoenix reborn from the ashes because we are always worth it, and we will always come back.

[technicalthinker]

sidenote Grim Big was like. the best thing I've ever seen. The absolute delight when I realised that's what Nine had created. The way it was designed and animated. I am obsessed. Where's the figurine sega.

[crescentfool]

i love ryomina

no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.

it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.

ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.

minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.

the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.

minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.

it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.

november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.

it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.

how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.

ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.

he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.

SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.

and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!

so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.

messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!

even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.

march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.

and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.

p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.

ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!!  god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!

i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙

[teatitty]

This is easily just a personal pet peeve of mine as someone who happens to know a fair amount about flowers, but whenever I read a Witcher fic that describes Dandelion's as being weeds I'm like!!! No!!! Dandelion's only started being treated as weeds in the 1900's!!! Before then they were an incredibly popular flower to have in one's gardens, bouquets and arrangements and they were used for a variety of medicinal purposes, known for growing almost anywhere, even in harsher environments

Dandelion didn't name himself after a weed he named himself after a flower that was pretty and useful and widely popular all over the continent!!!

[iatethepomegranate]

Matthew Mercer, Will, and Player/Character Needs in C3e34

Now that I've typed out the Will/Orym scene including Matt's narration, I have feelings. Namely, how Matt used this scene to satisfy player and character needs in a situation where there was potential for the two to conflict. I will also probably ramble about Will as a character in another post because he fascinates me more with every piece of info we get about him.

Obviously, spoilers for c3e34 are here.

We're at a stage in the game where no one's stories are really complete. Once the decision is made to resurrect a character and the roll succeeds, it then becomes Matt's job to weave a satisfactory scene for a player/character in a way that allows their story to continue, while respecting the way that character is feeling in the moment.

With Ashley/Fearne, Matt didn't have to give her too much. Fearne is a creature of whim and everyone she loves is alive, as far as we know. Matt did offer a confusing and even a little scary peek of an afterlife for her, which Fearne naturally rejected.

Liam/Orym needed more. Because clearly Liam wanted Orym's story to continue, but Orym died with a heavy sense of failure and defeat. And he was clearly hoping to see Will and Derrig again. He had very valid reasons to throw in the towel.

Orym knew that he needed to go back, but he was so torn between a task he was carrying out for the sake of his loved ones, and between getting to stay with them (Will and Derrig both) after having lost them under horrific, violent circumstances that still haunt him to this day.

So, what did Matt do? He gave Liam the tragic reunion scene, knowing he would eat it right up, but he didn't stop at Will telling Orym to go back.

He had Will choose for him.

In sparing Orym from that heartbreaking decision, Liam is able to continue this story. Would Orym have chosen to go back if he'd had to make the choice himself? Probably, especially if Will was still telling him to.

But Orym has been through a lot, and I imagine Liam and Matt discussed at length the balance between what Orym's narrative needed vs what Orym himself needed as a character. Orym needed to be pushed (i.e. lovingly tossed) by the very person whose death put him on this path to begin with.

As a result, we can already see Orym rallying himself, digging deep to give himself and the Hells fresh motivation and drive to keep pushing onward. He was quite assertive in the remainder of the episode, offering up huge solutions (let's go Kiki!) and even stepping in to threaten Treshi when their designated intimidator fell short.

Is it all sunshine and rainbows for Orym from here? Of course the fuck not. But this decision to have Will take charge in that scene and do what would have shattered Orym to do has not only allowed his story to continue, but to do so in a way that galvanises him.

I also foresee Orym potentially opening up to the rest of the Hells about Will in the not-too-distant future, especially since he's indicating feeling kinship with Imogen over the way she's feeling and acting about Laudna's (hopefully fixable) death.

[inaconstantstateofchange]

Realmslore of the Day: Sharran Hairpieces

The haters have begged me not to put this information out into the world, but I'm dead inside and need to feel something, so I'm choosing chaos today.

A [Sharran] priest’s hair is sometimes natural, and sometimes a wig of the braided hair of many others, enspelled so the tresses can carry daggers, small lanterns, and other items of like size and weight, as well as catch and cling to things. These enchanted wigs are not strong enough to hold the wearer’s body weight, but they could, for example curl around a branch while maintaining hold of a lit lamp, so the cleric can part company with the wig and do something in the lamplight.¹

I'm not saying this is what's going on with Shadowheart's plait? But I'm not... not saying it.

¹ Ed Greenwood Presents: Elminster's Forgotten Realms. 2012. p. 162.

[ilynpilled]

actually that was great 😭 and i pretty much agree. also i think on some level maybe jaime resents them never asking? like in their eyes (and tywin’s) he killed aerys to protect his father and align himself with the lannisters as they enter KG and they don’t care for any other reason he could have. but its the opposite. he warns aerys not to let his father in. also then out of all people why does he choose to tell brienne… i mean i have some ideas but what are your thoughts?

The thing is we do not really know if they asked lmao. I mean I will assume Tywin didn’t give a fuck. Not for the right reasons, anyway. That’s Tywin. I am not certain of that assumption regarding Cersei and Tyrion. Anyway, I think what distinguishes them from Brienne, is how distinctly they view Jaime as a result of the fact that they are Lannisters, as well as what their respective struggles are as individuals. They have a history. They have an established relationship with him. It is a relationship with insane baggage. With that baggage comes a lot of blindspots. They knew him before Aerys, but they did not truly know him after. As much as they love Jaime, as he is the glue of the family, they also loathe him in some form for meeting the standards that their horrid abusive father set. He is the only one of them that was gifted with the potential to gain Tywin’s approval (not that such a thing is possible lmao). The other two do not even have the chance. Jaime then took up a role in life that was never really an option for either of those two. Knighthood is reserved for Jaime, both meta textually, as that is what his story is mainly deconstructing, and within the text itself, as that is what he dreamed of being as the young boy prodigy. This experience completely changed Jaime and his outlook on the world. It sent him down the path of amorality, nihilism, and cynicism, specifically regarding the feudalistic constructs of morality, knighthood, and honor. This is something that Cersei and Tyrion can never truly grasp, just as Jaime will never understand their respective struggles. These blindspots the three siblings have concerning each other are always very apparent in their POVs. I talked about JC and how they put each other into boxes, but Tyrion and Jaime also do this with each other. Despite their bond, we never gain that much insight into Jaime from Tyrion’s POV in the first two books. Like even he reduces post Aerys Jaime to “my impulsive and flippant big brother who loves murder”, (however he gives us glimpses of the fact that Jaime loved him, unlike the rest of them). The person that Jaime presents to Brienne is a person that nobody has seen. That is how the narrative is set up. Brienne is the one that is interlinked with the deconstruction of knighthood. She is such a necessary foil to him in the beginning. I said this before: Brienne and Jaime’s dynamic in ASOS is “the goodhearted and naive idealist vs the jaded, cynical, and callous asshole who is a disappointed idealist that recognizes their old self in the former, making it a battle of who succeeds in pulling the other closer to their side of the spectrum.” The conclusion to this question of knighthood is something they have to come to together. I kinda elaborate more on this here:

So he lays this side of himself bare to the reader and Brienne only, bc that is how his development is meant to happen. This is a side that only us and Brienne are meant to see, because it is who it is most relevant to.

[pynkhues]

can you explain the biblical allusions in succession? kendall's attempt to cleanse/baptize himself in bathtubs, him essentially being the plastic jesus to logan's god

[smokestarrules]

something something the hypocritical nature of Philip loving his brother so desperately that he’s willing to create Grimwalkers of him for centuries while also resenting him so much that he takes joy in killing them and flies into a rage whenever anything from Caleb’s old life resurfaces

[kenzan-kiwami]

(screenshotting the replies and posting because i feel weird replying from my main <\3 hope you don't mind the ping @startledpixel )

i never even thought about it happening that way... haha... excuse me while i go scream in a corner for a couple of minutes

it ties in really well to the sort of recurring motif i see through his life that the only time he's allowed to be truly happy with himself and his place in the world is after his "death" and recovery. kazama is a very complicated character to think about when it comes to his motivations and his relationships with the people he's close with - i don't think he's very good at prioritising his emotional investments (nishiki being the obvious example, but also the way he doesn't send any letters to kiryu in jail until the last day before his parole), so to add an extra layer of tragedy to the whole thing i like to think that he hadn't been making as much time for kashiwagi towards the end than he maybe could have been. not in a premeditated disloyalty sense, of course, but he's got his hands more than full with the whole embezzling 10 billion yen from the tojo coffers gambit... kashiwagi being the way he is though would be all the more desperate for reconciliation, and to then not get it before kazama kicks it would be the icing on the shit cake

but yeah KNOWING adachi was in the building with everyone else must have been like reliving his second-worst nightmare... meeting this man he thought he'd be able to settle down with for the first time in sixty odd years but still constantly having to worry after him. i still adore no idling as an exploration of those feelings after the fact & i find myself coming back to it an awful lot as someone who doesn't generally read fiction more than once or twice unless i'm trying to find something specific (if you may allow me my nerd moment)

it's something i would love to explore more myself, but i don't really feel i have the means to do it in a way in which i'd enjoy the end product... but i suppose that's what commissions are for!

ANYWAY, apparently, everyone kiryu meets in his side story gives him some kind of reward, and i'm having A Time thinking about what he might get from kashiwagi. i'm trying not to set myself up to be disappointed by what happens, but there's a big part of me that hopes kashiwagi pulls "suzuki" to the side and leaves whoever else on the bar for a while so they get a chance to actually catch up. i think at this point both of them really need something like that, because i doubt there's any way kashiwagi didn't get the news that kiryu "died" in 2016

the other big thing that's got me physically shaking is the idea they might finally namedrop him. and uuhhh if they still let us karaoke at survive then i hope judgement gets its own cinematic. : )