#source: totally legit recap

[silelda]

Soap: I haven’t had tendies in over ten years.

Ghost: You could, just, make some yourself.

Soap: They’re only good if Mommy makes them!

Gaz: Well, what about some nuggies?

Soap: You listen to me, nuggies are for the dishonored! Nuggies are for weak souls too craven to seize destiny and claim the tendies they are owed!

Source: Totally Legit Recap - Sparkle’s Seven

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Gamzee: i’Ve GoTtA pIcK uP a FeW pArTy SuPpLiEs

Karkat: NO SLIME, GAMZEE.

Gamzee: BuT i WaNt It! :O(

[incorrectcultofthelambquotes]

Ratau: So... what’s goin’ on?

Lamb: You want the long version or the short version?

Ratau, hesitantly: The short one, I suppose?

Lamb: Shit’s fucked.

Ratau: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[incorrect-starbula]

Peter, joining the Guardians on a mission: Hey, what's going on?

Rocket: You want the long version or the short version?

Peter: Uh, the short version, I guess?

Rocket: Shit's fucked.

Peter: Oh. That's not ideal.

[thebunnyremix]

Emerald: Look, Oscar, I know I’ll probably never be part of your team, and...I’m okay with that. I mean...I’m a crazy bitch, who’s barely capable of casual social interaction.

Oscar: Yep. You sure are. And that’s why you fit right in.

[uptillion]

Chris: you can't have more than one waifu it's part of the definition of the word-

Mike: Yeah you can! I got like 20.

Chris: Well, then actually that means that none of the are waifus-

Mike: Don't be such a dweeb Chris, words mean whatever we want them to!

Chris: ...That, defeats the point of language-

Mike: Whatever, who gives a shit!

Chris: If you keep talking over me I'm gonna kill yo-

Mike: Anyways!

Chris: Listen, 90% of anime adaptations are creatively bankrupt single-season cash grabs churned out to make a quick buck off of lazy brainlets who can't appreciate the artistically source media because the pictures don't move and, you know, god forbid they'd have to read words

Mike: I read subtitles!

Chris: Only 'til the dubs come out!

Mike: Jesus, you nerds are so fucking hostile to anyone who isn't "patrition" enough for you. What's wrong with being a casual fan? We like the same thing just not a seriously as you!

Chris: Because you get up in our shit! Bogart our style! Do it wrong, and then mock us when we try to correct you! The word "waifu" has a specific definition! But you throw it around so casually that it's almost meaningless now!

Mike: Language changes over time Chris!

Chris: AAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Jess: I have no fuckin' idea what you guys are talkin' about but I've got an opinion on it! Like and Subscribe!

[incorrectzarimanquotes]

Yonta: So... what’s goin’ on?

Cavalero: You want the long version or the short version?

Yonta, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Cavalero: Shit’s fucked.

Yonta: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[craftytomato]

After King's Tide

Camila: So~...what's going on?

Luz: You want the long version or the short version?

Camila: The short one, I guess?

Hunter: Shit's fucked.

Camila: Oh-well...yeah, that's definitely not an optimal situation...

[sonofthesaiyans]

I legit think Attack On Titan’s story is a case where the genuinely intriguing mystery that drove the entire plot was one that got progressively WORSE as more answers were revealed. 

Somehow the reveal that humanity was NOT extinct but was responsible for the spread of the Titans from afar was not nearly as compelling as one might expect. Not in my experience. Marley feels more like a stand-in antagonist rather than a fully fleshed out greater scope villain. Especially since that villain just turned out to be Eren. Somehow I am not taken with his complete 180 against his friends, especially once all that crap about time loops and such started getting tossed around. 

Also the story got WAY more political after Marley came into the picture. And in my experience, that has never served a series well to get into all the kind of toxicity Isayama unleashed once he started pulling that fucking “grey morality” card. “Complex” does NOT always equal “profound” or “interesting”. I just found it beyond pretentious. 

Ymir Fritz. A totally uninvesting reveal, and not a character I bother to acknowledge on most fronts. It just doesn’t work how they established her as the source of the Titans’ rise, and she should have been hinted at much sooner if that was the story they were gonna stick with. And don’t get me started on how the whole key to ending the Titan curse was for this long dead brat to see Mikasa get over her codependence on Eren, a one sided relationship that reminded her of her own misplaced love. Couldn’t the death of the Founding Titan been sufficient on its own without that cringey explanation? 

And even after all of those revelations, the ending STILL fails to feel conclusive, and the Titans’ final demise really doesn’t feel fulfilling. It might have been less original, but it might’ve been less contentious to just have Eren Yeager trace the source of the Titans, kill it, and deprive the Marley of their primary trump card against Paradis. I don’t know, just ANYTHING BUT WHAT WE GOT. 

Most fans of this series are just gonna tell me “You just didn’t get it!” That’s the popular retort. 

Well maybe I don’t. Complex doesn’t necessarily equal smart writing. The only thing more painful than what I just had to recap was “If On a Winter Night’s a Traveler” by Italo Calvino, and I’d rather suffer that bizarre read again than this absurd final act. 

Titans vs. Humans. Why wasn’t that enough? It worked for three seasons. 

Besides a byproduct of that political and grey morality BS was one Gabi Braun. But she is just emblematic of the much larger problem I just got done covering. 

This story ended with the Ocean. 

[lesbian-deadpool]

Tony: The great thing about alcohol is, it’s cheap, everyone likes it and it makes all your problems go away. And you can share it with all your friends!

Steve: That sounds amazing. But there’s got to be a catch, right?

Tony: The only catch is that you can never, ever stop drinking, or all the problems will come back and they’ll be even worse now because you didn’t deal with them when you should have.

Steve: That’s it?

Tony: That’s it.

Natasha, in the background: Liver damage.

[silelda]

California: How do you come with personal, meaningful presents for people you’ve never even met? You must have special Christmas powers or something.

Gov: Yeah, pretty much. It’s called “data mining”.

California: This doesn’t seem ethical.

Gov: The only people who say that are the ones who have something to hide!

Source: Totally Legit Recap - Best Gift Ever

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Terezi: 4R3 YOU SO FUCK1NG POSS3SS1V3 TH4T YOUR3 TRY1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L GU1LTY FOR H3LP1NG TROUBL3D WR1GGL3RS?!

Vriska: Of course I 8m!  Oh my g8d it’s like you d8n’t even kn8w me 8nymore!!!!!!!!

[incorrectsinnohquotes]

Cynthia: So... what’s going on? Wake: You want the long version or the short version? Cynthia, hesitantly: The short one, I guess? Wake: Shit’s fucked. Cynthia: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[chasegrangerkingdom]

Nico: Dude, it is gonna be so easy! All I have to do is smile and talk to people.

[One second later]

Nico: Oh, fuck, I forgot: I can't smile and I hate people!

[incorrect-targon-quotes]

Diana: Well, I'm all out of ideas. Anyone got a plan B?

Zoe, pulling out a knife: Ooh! I do!

Leona, shocked: Zoe! Get rid of that thing! It's only a matter of time before you kill someone with it! 

Zoe: I think we all knew it was ALWAYS just a matter of time.

[beelzeboobs-central]

Simeon: Luke, you need to cut this shit out. There's a time for fun, and a time for work. Luke: But all I do is work! Simeon: Right. Being alive is the time for work. You can have fun when you die. Luke: But dying's the least fun thing! Simeon: Not if you've worked hard enough.