#srsly this is becoming a fucking ISSUE.

[rebo-chan]

Continuing the lambo and tsuna discussion:

Oh yeah tsuna absolutely would be a hypocrite and it would be so intersting to see them having a serious fight over it.

Especially bc, tsuna ALREADY as a 13/14 year old doesnt wanna be involved in fights and the like, he just wants to be a fucking teen please leave me alone, but when he's older hes probably even MORE terrified of what they've been through as kids. As a teen when he saw 15 yo lambo he was like "oh yeah he can handle this... Maybe... Probably... Perhaps???"

But the older you get the more you realise what a fucking dystopian nightmare it is to believe fucking teenagers could be in a war, no matter how powerful they end up being or how successful! Most of the shounen protags are AT LEAST in Highschool, Tsuna is a FIRST YEAR IN MIDDLESCHOOL, BABY GOT BARELY OUT OF HIS TWEENS

So while yeah its hypocritical tsuna also has the experience and hindsight now to realize NAH UH NO NO NO NOT HAPPENING NOPE THAT IS A FETUS

Not that Lambo would ever accept that bc yeah its his big brother and (idk how common this is i am an only child and never had friends with siblings) its (maybe) common for kids to look up to their older siblings in a way especially when they are far older and tsuna has done some really amazing stuff. He just doesnt get the whole "too young" for the fight thing, especially bc his background is already mafia related and the Bovino let this 5 YEAR OLD run around with GRANADES AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS.

Child safety? Dont know her - Old Bovino motto

No but srsly i just think tsuna is the very first person that actually brings up this concept in lambos life. Even Nana never sees whats going on around her as any kind of dangerous, even kids his age are nonchalant about it, fucking yamamoto may see a kid in him but he rolls with almost anything, gokudera just shows him disdain which is not exactly concern (in the beginning)

So its JUST Tsuna that looks at this five year old and says "Absolutely fucking not"

I mean technically also Haru but i dont think he registers that bc she just generally coddles the babies.

So Tsuna, his big brother, the one he looks up to the most, does not acknowledge him as a fighter. And while lambo doesnt see Tsuna as his boss, I do think when he grows older it WILL become more and more of an issue between both of them.

I know i basically just rephrased and repeated a lot of what you said in your post but also I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS

OMG NO DONT EVEN WORRY I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT LAMBO AND TSUNA <3 <3 <3

A real fight about this topic between Lambo and Tsuna would actually be so interesting though, you're so right. In this case, Tsuna cannot be reasoned with. As you mentioned, the older he gets the more he will look at being 15 years old as being a FETUS. His stress already just skyrockets whenever Lambo is ANYWHERE near the battlefield, he becomes absolutely belligerent (Shimon arc, future, and letting himself get disqualified in Varia) Tsuna is definitely the one most protective of Lambo, though Gokudera is a good second place even Gokudera doesn't realize that is a child though tbf in a world where the strongest are infants I do not blame Gokudera for not blinking an eye.

Child safety, don't know her ksJNGKJNSGE NO FR THOUGH. TSUNA IS THE ONLY ONE LIKE "please for gods sake stay at home my god please please" Its even funnier when you consider the only reason he trusts TYL I-Pin to protect anyone is bc she becomes 1 year older than him through the bazooka. SKJNG this is why TYL Lambo is also called Adult Lambo in his head. But yes, this idea would ABSOLUTELY disintegrate the moment my boy tsuna leaves his teen ages. I think the idea that this will be an area of tension for Lambo and Tsuna is so cool, because oh my god!! Lambo wants to be there. Despite his age, he is rightfully Vongola's Guardian of Lightning and he wants to hurry up and catch up!! Especially when you take into account of what I said about 20yl, like that's a Lambo that loses everyone!!!! Imagine the absolute stress on Lambo's brain when these thoughts flourish in his mind, and then he's got his big brother who would see him in a training room and go "WHAT ARE U DOING HERE. GET OUT?????? DO NOT TOUCH THE POINTY SPEAR THAT IS CHROMES" It's such absolute tasty content and I am more than happy to oblige with the Tsuna/Lambo thoughts. They're so important to me <3

[annachum]

I've seen some people be saying that Sigyn in the Norse Myths is a ' tradwife '

Me : * LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD MY SIDES ALMOST HURTS FROM LAUGHING SM *

Think about it, would ANYONE who is a valkyrie and/or valkurie veteran, volva, a FUCKING VICTORY AND FIDELITY GODDESS, and WHO LITERALLY WENT, ' FUCK IT ' AND WILLINGLY STAYED WITH LOKI DURING RAGNAROK, HOLDING HER SHIELD ABOVE HER HEAD TO PREVENT POISON DRIPPING ONTO HIM, WOULD BE A TRADWIFE?!?!?!?!

Yeah, I don't think so

Srsly in the Norse Myths Sigyn is a REBEL, and came to be a symbol of those who stood up for those who are ostracized for whatever unjust reason, and she is ONE OF THE DEITIES WHOM ANCIENT NORDICS PRAY TO FOR VICTORIES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

And Sigyn becomes an icon in Iceland FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS. I literally get ' oddball ' energy in spades from Sigyn in the Norse Myths

And being a volva, Sigyn in the Norse Myths ofc came to feel connected with nature and mythical related stuff

She won't even have time to even care about haters, honestly. In fact, she doesn't care much of what others think of her

Sigyn also came to be a symbol of those who do whatever they can to help their loved ones who are once in astray be back on a right path

Like she WILL NOT stand by and do nothing regarding issues that matter to HER and to her LOVED ONES

Yes, Sigyn in the Norse Myths is a girlboss - a compassionate and empathetic girlboss

🤩🤩🥺🥺🥺🥺

[erexart]

IF YOU DON’T POST YOUR WRITING FOR REAL REAL, I’m going to make sure your pillow is never cold ever, ever again. 😤😤😤 /teasing

Srsly tho, YOU ARE A CREATIVE GENIUS; you’re making me want to learn Japanese, and I’m already learning Spanish lol. 😭❤️‍🔥

You don’t have to get into writing. You can post a single fanfic and not post any other writing. Or you can get into writing and be a double threat writer and visual artist. 😉 Either way/point is, there’s no pressure to write and continue writing. You’ve written something beautiful that would be lovely to share w/ a greater audience, but you’re by no means under obligation to now become a writer.

Lmao I’m struggling to properly word this. 🥲 ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY IS don’t let fear of reception/fear of pressure stop you from gifting your creativity and stories to the world. If you want to write, then write! If you want to write only once, then write only once! If you want to publish your writing, then publish it! I think the weight of expectation is very relevant and difficult to navigate (and it can be quite easy to get swept away by initial praise and enthusiasm — which unfortunately, per my own experience, tends to level off/fade). BUT, you can in fact try something just one time; you can also try it, decide you really like it, and do it even more❣️

Hehe, I wrote this when I was still trying to learn (i stopped because i was getting stuck on learning kanji and also uni 😂 but trying to pick it up again! Spanish sounds cool! Might add that to my list)

There is a lot of pressure when it comes to trying new creative outlets for the first time, especially with that nagging voice in your head that says “i have to be good or i’ll quit” and it shouldn’t be that way. I do want to try and adapt that mentality of “trying things and fuck up then try again”. Hearing you and V say that you guys like it is like a big motivator to that attitude. I love how you, V, and Tay write so your input is INVALUABLE haha. Writing that was fun and I have no issue to try and write again thanks to you and V’s nice comment :)

However posting that is still another beast I’m trying to conquer 💀 I’m still on that journey of trying to be okay with the things I make, and having fun. But I’m slowly trying to get over that, with both art and other things too. To not be so rigid and treat this blog as if it’s a portfolio/ resume. AND be okay if things don’t get more than 30 notes or something. Whether it is art or writing or any other creative endeavour. That requires a bit more bravery that I’m starting to pick up bit by bit :)

So I’ll probably post that fic? (HAHA PLEASE DON’T BE MAD IF I DON’T) perhaps I’ll draw something for it, just a panel and actually become a double threat >:3, even if it’s this once. Only future can tell.

-e💗

[keep-on-trying]

I can't believe my first reaction to Wing's transformation animation was "PRISM GOT FUCKED OVER" asfkjhfskjhfskfshfjskfskjsfsfkj.

No srsly Wing's henshin is super good I love it a ton, like I might actually like it over Sky even if Sky's is animated by the well liked Itaoka, like Wing's henshin actually fits well with what Sky's animation set as a standard, and that makes me feel so fricking sad for Prism because her animation is just.... it's not good. It's incomplete. She disappears in "jump" scene. Neither Sky or Wing do. She lacks animation at the final part that shows shoes, hair, back, etc, while Sky and Wing have movement involved. Her final card has very akward transition from pastel pink to sudden blue, while both Sky and Wing are smooth transitions to same color background.

Like I really really wish Prism's henshin can get fixed and upped in quality because next to both Sky and Wing: I cannot say it's good at all. And I hate to see that since she's supposed to be Sky's equal. Animation doesn't agree at all with it. No I'm not saying the animator is bad at their job, they've done GREAT henshin before. HOWEVER, I am convinced Prism's animation is incomplete and suffers from production issues or something. And I hope Butterfly won't suffer the same.

Ok, Rant over, today's HiroPre ep was really good and I love love LOVE Tsubasa aka Cure Wing. He's great. Really good. And I cannot wait to see how he and Ageha end up becoming a duo ♥ Also Princess Ellee is waaaaaaaaaaaay too special of a baby to not be sus of being someone else than a baby sgjsfhfgfsjhfgssfh.

[bi-lullaby]

I love talking about SPN with you! Tough challenge if you're up for it: rank all 15 seasons from your personal favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed :) Have fun!

Oh dear. What a predicament you’ve put me in!

1. 1 (solid choice, me thinks. The vibes are Unparalleled. Introduced me to the LOML, Dean. Their early dynamics? Figuring out who they are, who the other is, who their family is? ugh. My heart. Also super interesting MootW episodes, charismatic, the cinematography deserves it’s own spot in the list, we feel like the Winchesters: operating from a shadowed world that’s interwoven with ours but also separate)

2. 2 (still the same vibes of the first but also angrier? there’s findings and secrets and an overachieving trama of trauma and family and grief and deep wounds from the past and revenge and worry. love it)

3. 4 (It makes me angry, sad, happy, hopeful, devastated, all of that at once and then more. I feel it’s one of the most fundamental stories to the plot of everything that comes later and it sets what came before against a solid background of the whole angels/demons/apocalypse/vessels/fate narrative, sets up a lot of the lore, it’s just genuinely good and enjoyable. Great television.)

4. 5 (The world is ending and we have no hope to stop it and yet we will? ugh. Also the reconnection of the boys. Fighting so hard for a goal that seems impossible and finding their way back tot he other. I feel this is when Cas becomes more friend than ally, which is lovely. The longing, the grief, the guilt, the horror, the hopeless and yet that doesn’t take away their fight in the end. Also In the End and Dark Side of The Moon are just. Spectacular. This one gets me every time)

5. 3 (so much angst. so much uncertainty. The unknowns. I feel this one isn’t higher only bc I watched already knowing the outcome or most of it in a way, bc I knew Dean would be alive and well for years to come bc I started when spn was further along, but for fans who watched on time? must have been a punch to the stomach).

6. 8 (I hadn’t realized how much I loved season 8 until today lol, lots of annoyances and grievances but still I enjoy and analyze it to death. I love love love Purgatory, the dynamics of the Purgatory Trio, BENNY, Kevin as a bigger character, the animosity between Sam and Dean (srsly, I think all the fics I have written mention/deal with this issue bc I’m just fascinated by both their headspaces in this and how it impacts them going forward. The trials are interesting although I felt they were a bit mishandled, and of course the many fallouts from it.)

7. 9 (same initial comment as season 8 tbh. I feel like early seasons dean is hanging on by a thread to the very end of his rope (trauma, pain, grief, etc etc) but he is hanging in there, ya know? And he wants to fight and he knows his whys. then as the years go on and the losses pile on and the pains and the more and more he’s backed into impossible corners he loses the will to hang on and I think this season is the one where we see in look at that rope and go “and why the fuck am I holding on to this?” and it’s painful and heartbreaking but also makes you cheer him on and wish for him to fet through this. I like the Bunker being a more established home base for them. I enjoy Abbadon and Metraton as antagonists although I do feel they ended up… Underwhelming? Underexplored? And Dean’s is one of my ‘favorite’ deaths the boys had. It’s so impactful and poignant.

8. 12 (I almost put it lower but alas, so many Dean/Dean-Mary dynamics moments I could not. Not the biggest fan of the BMoL but I see where they were going. I think bringing Mary back was a move that could have gone horribly wrong and in a sense I feel like it maybe wasn’t the most thematically consistent? but it allowed for fun explorations of many characters. Also, Regarding Dean is off the charts good.)

9. 6 (ohh the drama. the fallout. the would’ves should’ves could’ves. I have a love-hate relationship with soulless!sam that tends more towards love but overall a great one. I miss Lisa, there, I said it. I loved them together. I wanted them to remain that way. I loved seeing Dean be turned into a vamp, also.)

10. 10 (not much to say. I adore MoC and all about it, but I do wish some things were better handled/had more impact/were more thought out/better shown etc. Overall, great idea, not my favorite execution).

11. 11 (again, love parts, don’t love others so much. I will say, in my “dean lets go of his rope” analogy, this one is where I think he’s slowly starting to climb out of the hole he’s fallen into and see “his whys” more clearly again).

12. 7 (idk why people seem to hate 7 so much? I can’t say it’s supper impacting but it has it’s positives. And Bobby’s death! It’s so impactful, it’s genuinely a mark of splitting eras in my mind.)

13. 14. (Michael!Dean my dearest of dears. You were not here for long enough. Makes me angry and a little bitter but also great moments).

14. 13 (if you put a gun to my head I can’t recall season 13 specifically? felt like a “bridge” season ig, and I just… Don’t enjoy Jack. I know many people do, and you do you, absolutely! But he just felt like a shoehorned in deus ex machina wrapped in Cas’s more cute mannerisms and I just never connected with him or really enjoyed him as part of the family or the themes that followed his appearance).

15. (will never accept, will never like, will never enjoy, the ending is responsible for 97% of the hate for the whole season but tbh the forced “ohh look we’re meeetaaaa! it’s the lasssst sssseassssonnn” in your face level of annoyance didn’t make it all that great either. No but srsly don’t even get me started on the ending. I could spend an hour just incoherently babbling and crying and still not get my dislike across correctly).

This was quite tough, really. Thanks for the brain teaser, dearie!

[transpat]

love all play ep 12 spoilers

the writer of love all play really lost half my respect in ep 10 but w ep 12 i just. can't. the conflict here lies btw junyoung and taeyang so junyoung and taeyang should be the ones in the focus of this arc. their messy fights angry admissions heartbreaking honesty is what the characters needed not some forced angst btw taeyang and taejun so that they can carry out the second half breakup

like my biggest gripe w this is how awful it's turned taeyang's character into. ik she's in a bad place, ik she's hurting, ik she needs comfort badly, but what about taejun in all of this. he suffers but he suffers quietly bc he doesn't want to add to her burdens and god being around taeyang given her current mental state can't be good for his health either. it must have done a fucking number on his mental health too to always see the girl he loves crying and crying all day that too over his sister. taejun genuinely didn't need to be a part of this arc at all it should have been entirely about taeyang and junyoung finding their way back to each other and learning their barest truths, it should have been about taejun resolving his issues over his sister and truly bonding w her, it should have been about taejun telling taeyang how much he hated being in his sister's shadow not just the way it was done on the show but deeper, longer, bc that's what his entire arc is about right? growing out of his sister's shadow and becoming his own person, not growing into taeyang's instead.

no bc really in the end what was the point of it? in the end it all circles back to the beginning where taejun is again forced to make sacrifices for his sister, where taejun is again shoved into her influence, where again taejun has to base his life around her. taeyang begun the story having lost someone who really loved her (junyoung), a sacrifice she made out of fear of losing another parent who didn't love her, and now again she's circled back to losing another person who gave her the love she's always craved. taeyang's arc was supposed to be about her hatred for herself and her need to sacrifice herself for the ppl she loves, but here instead of fighting back for taejun's love, instead of fighting out her problems w junyoung to keep taejun, instead of fighting for herself, again she's just given up.

character based stories are written keeping character development in mind and these characters just keep regressing i don't see any growth. they confided in someone so what? they took such a huge leap so what? in the end they ended up right where they first started.

srsly thou if the writer focused this on junyoung and taeyang the plot would have been so much more interesting and rich and the angst would be exciting but nope. they gotta fall back into regular old kdrama tropes. they gotta make everything about romance and the main couple's suffering and force a break up the plot could have really gone well without.

[frostbite-the-bat]

random rant about a classmate below because i am still goin wacky zany over this and the fact nobody listened when i tried to explain like. yknow. the actual. facts. and i thought despite these things being an interest of mines, i was bad at them and knew very little, at least this was reassuring that i am not as well uneducated about these things. what was it over?? my classmate being just SO SURE that dragons exist

like im thinkin abt how hard i was fucking holding back she was like" DRAGONS EXIST OTHERWISE - WHY DID WE CREATE THIS WORD?? HOW DID WE COME UP WITH THEM!! IT MEANS FOR SURE THAT BACK IN THE DAY PEOPLE SAW DRAGONS AND SO IF THEY ONCE WERE REAL IT MEANS THERE COULD STILL BE ONES AROUND!! SRSLY!! HOW DID WE COME UP WITH THIS ? THATS BECAUSE WE DIDNT!!! HUH YEAH!!! IF THOSE LIKE DINOSAURS EXISTED ONCE IF MAMMOTHS COULD EXIST ONCE THEN DRAGONS AND THESE GUYS COULD TOO!! LIKE!!! THEY FOUND SOME DRAGON IN REAL LIFE IN SOME JUNGLE!! IT doesnt fly but it glides BUT!! IT'S LIKE A LIZARD AND IT CAN ALMOST FLY SO THAT MEANS IT'S LIKE THE CHILD OF A DRAGON THAT ONCE EXISTED!!!!"

and i may be typing this in all caps lock but all of this is stuff she actually said and i was just there hyped to talk about how to train your dragon and then happy to educate about dinosaurs and evolution but oh my god literally nobody in the room understood the fact that just because you want to it doesn't randomly exist and language evolved as we went so we now have words to describe things, even fictional ones, and people in history were dumb and often didn't even know they had bad vision and would quickly jump to conclusions like OHH MYSTHICAL ANIMAL and sooo much more shit i will not even get into but nope that dont matter because i guess if the word "Dragon" exists and people in Them Medieval Times :tm: knew about dragons it is 100% proof that they had to be real. she. she. even pulled out like. a photo of a fossil - a dinosaur's jaw imprint and i cannot tell what it was she was far away but she was like "SEE!! SEE!! DRAGON!!!" oh my god and i thought i was wacky zany for being like "hmm yknow itd be cool if these things existed for real! id like that. but theres just no actual evidence and people are a bit dumb. still cool to think about!" but this is next level. she even thought that because birds evolved from dinosaurs, it means we evolved from them too

oh my gOOOooOOoOooDDDDDDDDi am goIGN INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE what is she on first she turns out to be a tradwife, then transphobic of course and then this what the fuck is she reading :skull:

this.... convo stemmed from us poking fun at marriages we have been to (instead of partying at one i went inside, ate all the cake and watched how to train your dragon) and then religion, for some reason? i said that well yknow if that stuff were real all of us would be descendants of incest because it was all adam and eve at first and how ridiculous it is. and like "no calm down despite us humans being like the same species and evolving from the same damn thing we are not THAT closely related like no you and your boyfriend can date and such it only becomes an issue if you are very closely related. are you okay." and then she just randomly went on this rant like i was losing my shit i was tryna explain how shit actually works but no :skull:.

like. and what does she mean by dragon anyway. big scaly lizard, bat wings on its back, can breathe fire???? if these fuckers existed not even a 1000 years ago we'd!! have evidence of it!!! theres a lot of undiscovered shit but if we can find fossils from millions of years ago dug up like that we'd easily find some shit like a dragon!!!! my godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

[annapogorilayas]

here's a bunch of my rambling, incoherent thoughts LoD S6, H, and the show's overall trajectory since S4

under the cut because it's LONG, these are just my personal opinions and feelings

the show's trajectory

i've been disappointed with the show's overall direction since S4 for multiple reasons. to be fair, the show had an uphill battle to maintain the level of quality that S2/S3 had. lindsay denton was this show's most interesting character and keeley hawes was phenomenal, and her storyline tied in perfectly with the conclusion of the caddy storyline. that was always going to be a tough act to follow.

the show has always had shocking twists and explosive action sequences, but when the show moved from bbc2 weeknights to bbc1 the show began to lean more heavily on them. in S1-3 these scenes fit in with the plot. after S4, it began to feel more like the show was a series of shocking twists/action sequences with a plot written around it.

the OCG is way too big and powerful

after S4, the OCG(s) became very big, powerful, and all-knowing, without actually showing us how they were achieving this, making it hard to believe. in S2, we had an ambush, the murder of hunter and trotman in the hospital room, the setup of dryden for blackmail, and lindsay's abduction from custody. these events were carried out/enabled by five characters: prasad, cole, dot, akers, and lindsay. we met them, we spent time with them (except cole), we had at least a rough idea of what motivated them or how they got involved, and how they pulled off what they did.

in S3, two important events (steve's firearm paperwork being forged and Urgent Exit Required) were enabled by one corrupt AFO. we didn't meet him or find out what his motives were, but i don't think we needed to - he was probably just one of dot's lackeys. but it's not that hard to believe that dot could get one corrupt AFO to do his bidding.

in contrast, since S4, it seems like the OCG has an endless supply of corrupt prison officers, AFOs, and balaclava men that they can deploy at a moment's notice, and these people are pretty disposable - how many of these people have been arrested, imprisoned, or murdered since S4? how many balaclava men died in the 6x04 ambush alone? aren't the OCG(s) running out of people to send on suicide missions by now? a story driven by a revolving door of disposable, mostly nameless people is much less compelling than a story that revolves around a small, familiar cast of believably corrupt/bent/blackmailed coppers. i think S4 and S6 could've been better if more of the plot was driven by the other officers on huntley's and davidson's teams, or just... any recognisable named character, rather than these disposable hired guns.

additionally, the OCG just silences/pays off/kills people off so easily the plot has become very predictable

the problem with H

so H wasn't an evil criminal mastermind, just some guy in it for the money. that part i had hoped for and expected - LoD is almost never about criminal masterminds with grand motives who just want to watch the world burn. LoD's antagonists/villains fall into the following categories:

a) people who make decisions that spiral terribly out of control (tony gates, roz huntley)

b) people who do bad things for the right reasons because the system offers no alternative (lindsay denton wanted to save carly; danny waldron killed his abuser; john corbett believed his crimes were the only way to unmask H because peartree was dragging its feet)

c) people who do bad things out of self-preservation because they've been blackmailed or groomed (dot, jo, maneet, ryan, hargreaves, hilton, hari baines)

d) bad people who do bad things out of self-interest, whose behaviour is enabled or incentivised by the system that fails to protect people (hunter, the murphys, fairbanks, prasad, cole, gill). these guys are not geniuses and they don't have grand motives, they do bad things because it benefits them directly and they can get away with it.

i think (?) Buckells falls into this last category. i don't have a problem with him being H in theory. i don't mind that he turned out not to be the "top man" bc i never liked the idea of there being a "top man", it's way too close to "a bad apple". i'm much more intrigued by the idea that there is a loose, semi-transient network of officers who are all acting out of a combination of self-interest (money, power, access to vulnerable people) and self-preservation (they all have an incentive to be loyal to the network because they all know dirt about each other, but if there's a motive and opportunity to take someone down without it coming back on them, they will). for this reason, i don't find it necessarily disappointing or implausible that buckells was the last man standing and that he was motivated by money.

however, the way the reveal was set up throughout S6 and executed in 6x07 was anticlimactic to me. buckells had a laptop in prison? he ordered kate's murder FROM PRISON? of course he did, that whole prison appears to be run by the OCG. this is the same problem i mentioned earlier, the OCG is just too powerful to be interesting. the reveal could've been way more effective if buckells hadn't spent the last half of the season in jail. i also would've liked to hear more from buckells about precisely what motivated him, exactly how he came to be involved, and how the other corrupt officers fit into his story. i would've loved it if, for once, someone just said fuck it and spilled the beans instead of going down the "i'll tell you a bunch of useless nonsense in exchange for WP" route.

that being said, i think this whole clusterfuck could've been avoided entirely by simply not making H into such a big deal. way back in S4, the fixation on H worked as a plot device to get hilton to issue ted with a reg-15 and cast doubt on him, but i was bored of H approximately 1.5 episodes into S5. the idea of this shadowy figure calling all the shots was inconsistent with everything this show had been about, and it dragged on for way too long. i wasn't opposed to the idea that H is a group of people not a single person, but morse code? srsly? you couldn't just have them sit down and say "hey, maybe dot just blinked on H because he'd had his eyes open for a while and also he'd lost a lot of blood so he was probably confused anyway?"

[akari-hope]

I’m autistic, & I saw a post from another autistic person earlier, talking abt HP, that said, “hyperfixations aren’t fucking random. If you find yourself continually drawn to racist shit, you srsly need to sit & examine why that is. Stop using your disability to justify your being drawn to racist shit.” hyperfixations can definitely be random tho? And acting like we can choose what we hyperfixate on is ableist? also, not defending hp at all, but acting like ppl were drawn to it BECAUSE of its

2/2 racist elements seems both in bad faith and intentionally dismissive of the larger themes. (Still not advocating for supporting it though.) And I’ve never seen anyone use their autism to justify racism, that would be insane.

hyperfixations can often follow a pattern in the sense of "i like x genre so i'm more likely to latch onto things of that genre" but...the idea that we have control over the particular thing we hyperfixate on is just false. something can be seemingly perfect for you but not something you hyperfixate on, and something can come out of nowhere and become a hyperfixation. for example, i love fantasy as a genre, so a lot of my hyperfixations ARE fantasy. but that doesn't mean i latch onto every piece of fantasy media out there. and that doesn't mean i might not latch onto something in a different genre.

not to keep saying the same thing all the time, but the concept of "everything is problematic in some way" is extremely true and important to understand. i struggle to think of an example where said problematic elements were the draw for most people. hp has many problems in its text: racism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism, i could go on. but to act like any of these things were the initial draw for most people is dishonest at best. it's not like people looked at how joanne wrote lycanthropy and went "oh fuck yeah, thank god this series has a homophobic analogy". no one looked at cho chang and said "phew, i was worried no one was gonna make a racist stereotype of a character". like that's just not how people think. some people will see these things and go "hm. fucking yikes." and others will simply not notice (which we could unpack, but in short while i can't blame people for being ignorant it is still a responsibility to think critically about the media you consume).

and i'm not saying any of this to defend hp or joanne. i'm saying this to argue in good faith instead of with half-baked "gotchas". something can have issues without said issues consuming the whole of the work. bc ultimately, is hp about racism, do the racist elements take up the entirety of the books, is it in the core themes and plot points? not really. it's dishonest to say that the entire work is racist and that was the draw. we CAN say "if you continually refuse to acknowledge and unpack racist elements when you encounter them, you seriously need to sit down and examine why that is." now we've gone from an all or nothing mentality to a nuanced one.

quick aside, i have seen autistic people say racist things or not understand why something was racist out of a place of pure ignorance, but i haven't personally met any who have used being autistic as an excuse to act racist. most i've ever seen is them using it as an explanation for why they didn't initially understand, alongside a promise to do better. i'm sure the people who use it as an excuse do exist, but i haven't personally known any.

[jadedadultritsu]

Hey umm, Imma make an Aladdin reference here lmaoo.

If we can forgive Aladdin for his fear of revealing his real social status bc it'd change the already perfect life with the love of his life, why can't we try to understand Nakyum's perspective and his fear of dying bc it'd change the whole dynamics and his supposedly blossoming rship with his captor turned-> lover. Jihwa just had to fuck it all up.

Yes, I said captor and there's nothing healthy about falling for your captor. But c'moonn, it's F-I-C-T-I-O-N. We've said it again and again, POTN is not all about rainbows and sunshines and you CAN'T just expect SH to shower NK with hugs, kisses, flowers, and sweets to comfort him after his near death experience.

Concern was replaced with anger here cuz SH is full of trust issues.

POTN is a manhua telling a story of a young man struggling with psychological issues attributed to his past and wise readers follow the storyline for the thrill and IF SH would ever overcome it with true, unconditional love. We are rooting that NK would finally become the light of his life and vice versa but there will certainly be LOTS of obstacles.

Remember kids, you are allowed to cry, to mope, to get mad, but BD doesn't cater to all of our wishes and doesn't deserve the hateful comments (I'm gonna applaud her for that cuz that means her storytelling is hella effective). If you srsly rant and attack/insult the author and you didn't even spend a single penny for a ch, I'm gonna glower at you. After all, POTN is not for the weak-hearted. If there's anything, we're just the parasites of BD's creation. I'm not saying BD's work is perfect cuz that thing is very subjective??? If you're announcing POTN doesn't cater into your liking anymore, we'd respect that esp. with points presented why. Drop it, but please make a graceful exit.

Only BD and her editor/assistants can tell if ya'll a loss to her fanbase bc I don't have the sales report lol.

[lestered]

hey, brother

t (for language), 3.5k

It’s come time for Phil to reintroduce himself to Dan’s family in the proper context, but there’s one member that he’s not entirely confident about connecting with.

-

written for pff’s 2019 bingo fest! checks off “in-laws,” “cereal,” and “communication.”

read on ao3 or under the cut

Phil wakes up too early, like he usually does after spending the night in an unfamiliar bed. Not per his usual, though, he remembers where he is before he even opens his eyes, the soreness in his back an immediate reminder that he’s not at home, settled into a nest of warm grey sheets and cushy pillows in a bed with much better support than the double-size air mattress set up on the floor of Dan’s childhood bedroom.

“Uh, it’s not ideal,” Karen had told them while showing them upstairs, pushing open Dan’s closed bedroom door to reveal a large air mattress taking up the majority of the floorspace. “But setting a bed for Phil on the couch seemed a bit stupid, and expecting you both to cram all of your giant limbs into that tiny single bed… seemed even stupider.” 

Dan had just laughed and shook his head and tossed his bag lightly onto the center of the comforter spread neatly over their makeshift accommodation. “It’s great, mum. Thank you.”

Phil smiles to himself just thinking about it, still not quite ready to open his eyes. He knows it’s not a big deal, but at the same time it is a big deal - them sharing a bed in Dan’s family home, his mum making one up for them to share without even being asked. Phil knows that it means a lot to Dan, that six months later he’s still reeling from such overwhelming support from the people he’d spent most of his life just trying to hide from. Phil’s happy because Dan’s happy and also because it’s what’s right. That just makes him smile wider and roll onto his other side, reaching his arm out and searching for Dan’s warm body to snuggle into.

When his hand lands on nothing but an empty mattress, though, he frowns, and finally opens his eyes.

*

The house is quiet while he putters around upstairs, which he reckons is because it’s not even gone 7am according to his phone, which also has a text from Dan explaining that his Nana’s called him over to her house with an iPad-related technology issue. Unlike when they’re in London, he can’t quite get away with ignoring her early-morning calls when she’s just a few minutes away.

Phil does his best to stay quiet too, because his limbs are long and clumsy and Dan’s house is old with creaky floorboards so it’s truly a concerted effort, but he does manage to make it to the bathroom and back without a racket.

When he gets back, he perches on the bed - the real bed, Dan’s single bed, which seems so foreign and faraway now even though he’s literally right on top of it - and checks to see if Dan’s replied to his and how’s that going for you text.

He has. 

[Dan]: it’s all good she couldn’t connect to the wifi so i reset her router

[Dan]: she’s making breakfast now

Just reading the word breakfast makes Phil’s stomach grumble, and he stares forlornly at his phone screen as if it’ll make a bowl of cereal materialize right in front of him.

It doesn’t, but he does get another text.

[Dan]: have you eaten yet?

He blinks at the message a couple of times. He’d actually thought that he’d wait for Dan to get home to have breakfast with him. But now that Dan’s otherwise occupied… 

[Phil]: Um… no? I didn’t know your grandma was gonna keep you, so I was planning on waiting.

[Dan]: just go get something from the kitchen, you dingus. you’re a big boy, you know how to eat by yourself.

Phil rolls his eyes fondly, but he can’t really ignore the tiny, anxious fluttering in the pit of his stomach, as much as he wants to. He feels kind of stupid sending his next response, but it’s the truth.

[Phil] That’s weird though, it’s not my house. I can’t just like… help myself.

His stomach does another nervous little flip when he sees the three little gray dots pop up on Dan’s side of the screen, then go away again, then pop up again. It’s longer than Dan usually takes to type and it doesn’t take that many words to tell him he’s being daft.

He knows he is. It’s just that stupid anxiety that still crops up every now and then, the kind where he’s scared to make phone calls or answer the door or go to big gatherings and Dan covers him, but he’s not here to do that right now. And he shouldn’t have to be.

When Dan’s message finally pops up, he blows out a deep breath before reading.

[Dan]: i go down to the kitchen and fix myself food all the time when we’re at your parents’ house. i know it’s different here but mum wants you to make yourself at home and so do i so go to the kitchen and get yourself a fucking bowl of crunchy nut, i refuse to come home to see you all grumpy and haggard just because you didn’t have your morning coffee and cereal

Phil has to bite back a smile at that. The idea of getting close to Dan’s family, of making himself comfortable in their space, kind of scares him. He’s pretty sure it scares Dan, too, probably even moreso. But the fact that he wants to try - that he wants them both to try - makes him feel warm inside. 

[Dan]: srsly tho. go eat, i won’t be that much longer and then we can hide out in my room for a little while before lunch

He smiles because alone time with Dan is always a treat even when they’ve only been in others’ company for less than a day, and because Dan’s voice of reason has gone and made him properly hungry, more than he can ignore, so he’s going to satiate himself and he’s going to not worry about it on the way.

*

Phil’s not really sure where to go from here. He doesn’t want to go back up the stairs, because that could accidentally draw attention, and to be caught fleeing from the situation would be embarrassing. 

But, he also doesn’t really want to keep walking into the kitchen.

Karen had told them that Adrian wouldn’t be getting here until this afternoon. 

Phil doesn’t have a problem with him. He’s seen him enough times, had enough courteous chats with him over ten years. It’s kind of weird looking at him though, going on 22 years old, remembering how he’d been been scared shitless to meet him when he was just 12. He’d been scared shitless to meet Dan’s entire family, even though there wasn't anything to be scared about. He was Dan’s good friend, as far as they were concerned, and they were good at keeping up that act, at least around the family - his dad, his mum, his grandparents.

His brother.

He’s not sure if Adrian even particularly cares about him or his relationship with Dan. He does know that out of his entire family, he’d been the one that Dan was the least scared of coming out to. Phil doesn’t know if that’s because the emotional attachment there was less strong than to his mum and grandma, or because he was just younger and more likely to understand, or both.

Phil just doesn’t really know him.

It makes him a little sad. Dan and Martyn are such good friends and Phil loves it, how well Dan slots in with his family. It feels right. 

He has to remind himself all the time that it’s not the same with Dan. That Dan’s family doesn’t mean the same thing to him, that there’s residual fear and anxiety and they’re all still figuring it out with each other as they go and that Phil’s just very, very recently become a real part of it. Sort of. He’s not sure if Dan’s family really knows what to do with him. 

To be fair, he’s not really sure what to do with them either. It’s all new. That’s why spending Christmas with Dan’s family feels so huge, even though they’ve all been acting casual about it. He doesn’t feel casual. He doesn’t think any of them do, but it’s a work in progress.

He thinks back to Karen showing them into Dan’s room the day before.

“Next time you come round, we’ll have a proper double bed. It was probably stupid of me to expect you to fit into that single all by yourself once you hit puberty, anyway.” 

He remembers seeing Dan’s dimple cave in the way it does when he’s holding back a little smile, remembers thanking her when she left them to get settled in and Dan practically tackling him down onto the mattress. Remembers thinking how happy he was to have another safe space, that he could hardly imagine how Dan must be feeling, with that safe space finally being his own family. 

“Oh shit, Phil!”

*

Adrian’s expression once he’s finally turned around from the kitchen counter is startled, and Phil feels startled in return despite having just been stood there, staring like a freak.

He imagines it’s probably a comical sight from the outside - him standing frozen in his flannel pajama bottoms, Friends t-shirt, mismatched socks, glasses and bedhead, opposite Adrian and his oversized button-up shirt and running shorts, which seems to Phil to be an odd combination, but he supposes he can’t judge. His wrist tattoo peeks out from under the cuff, beside where he’s clutching a glass bottle of ketchup in his hand, and a tablespoon in the other.

“Sorry!” He finally manages, once his initial deer-in-headlights reaction wears off, and he takes a couple steps back. “Didn’t mean to interrupt anything, I’ll leave you to um…” He glances at the ketchup and tablespoon again. “...Whatever you’re doing.”

He’s about to turn back when Adrian sets his spoon down with a slightly-too-loud clamor. “No, that’s alright! I’m just… I don’t need a lot of room,” he turns and pushes the spoon to the side, along with a small bowl and a handful of other ingredients. He’s still gripping the ketchup very firmly when Phil approaches.

“Right, um,” Phil clears his throat a bit. “I just thought I’d come get some… cereal?” 

He phrases it like a question, even though it’s not, and quickly follows it up. “Dan’s having breakfast over at your nana’s, I guess, so… he said you guys might have Crunchy Nut.”

Adrian just watches as he opens the cupboard directly in front of him, which contains nothing but bowls and glasses. It kind of hits him then, as he’s taking out a bowl, that he doesn’t really know where the Howells keep anything in their kitchen. He doesn’t know his way around their home the way Dan does with the Lesters’.

Different circumstances, he reminds himself.

He doesn’t overthink anymore, because then Adrian’s handing him a box of Crunchy Nut, which he appears to have grabbed from the cupboard on his right. 

“We usually do,” he tells him, before going back to his cluster of ingredients on the counter. “It’s mum’s favorite.”

So that’s where Dan gets it from, he muses.

He thinks about saying as much, but settles instead for a quiet thanks before opening up the box and shaking some into his bowl. He glances over at Adrian while he’s ambling over to put it back in the cupboard, where he seems intently focused on smacking the bottom of the ketchup bottle as he holds it carefully over the tablespoon he’s set out on the counter. 

It’s so uncanny to look at him, even still. He and Dan have always looked alike, but the resemblance as they get older just seems to grow. Adrian still looks more like Karen while Dan looks more like their dad, not that Phil would ever bring that up. It’s just one of those things they know but don’t care to acknowledge, because there’s really no point.

It’s not just appearance. Adrian doesn’t just look like Dan, but he talks a lot like him too, he uses the same awkward body language, hand gestures and finger guns, and he’s got a rather foul mouth. Phil assumes he probably picked that up from Dan when they were kids, who picked it up from Karen, who he’s not sure she picked it up from, as their nana’s rather posh and proper and scolds Dan any time he uses a swear word on Twitter. 

That particular thought comes to him because Adrian’s currently cursing and mumbling under his breath - another habit he shares with Dan - as he tries and fails to get the ketchup out of the bottle. Phil pulls out a drawer and, relieved to find that it’s in fact the silverware drawer, pulls out a spoon before bumping it closed and looking across the counter. 

“Um,” He slides the spoon into his dry cereal. “What are you making?”

Adrian’s head jerks up, as if he’s surprised to see Phil still standing there, before sighing and setting down his bottle of ketchup. 

“Making a glaze for the lentil loaf we’re having tonight,” he tells him, and Phil has to do his best to keep a straight face. He knows that Christmas Eve dinner is going to be fully vegan; it’s a deal Karen had made with their grandma, on the condition that she’d be allowed to cook a supplementary turkey and mashed potatoes with real butter for Christmas dinner. He grins a little to himself, knowing that his presence at Christmas this year was a big reason for such a compromise. He knows that were it up to Karen, Dan, and Adrian, Dan’s grandparents might have spent Christmas stuck in Vegan Hell. He likes having that little bit of camaraderie with them, even if that camaraderie is rooted in questionable ethics. “If I can get the ketchup out of this ridiculous fucking bottle,” he glares at the glass bottle in his hand. “I was just trying to save the whales.”

Phil snorts a little, because that’s so like something Dan would say, before glancing between the bottle and the spoon again. “Have you tried putting it in a bowl first?”

Adrian glances at him curiously, and Phil opens cupboard and pulls out another bowl. 

“Can I?” He asks, and Adrian wordlessly hands him the bottle. He caps it again, shakes it till the ketchup actually slides down to the bottle opening, before uncapping it and smacking a few globs into the bowl. 

“Now just scoop out however much you need, and then you can scrape the excess back into the bottle,” he tells him, and slides the bowl back across the counter. Adrian just stares at it for a second, before breathing out a laugh and dropping his elbows down onto the counter. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m so stupid,” he picks up the spoon and measures out one tablespoon into the other bowl, then two, then three. “Thanks,” he adds when he’s finished, glancing back over at Phil as he scrapes the leftovers back, as suggested. Phil just nods. 

“I can take that,” he offers, and Adrian hands the bottle over again. Phil heads over to the fridge, setting the ketchup inside and searching for a moment before pulling out a carton of almond milk and pouring some into his cereal. Adrian’s eyebrows shoot up in what seems to be pleasant surprise. 

“Oh, did Dan finally get you to go vegan too?”

Phil’s confused for a moment, before he actually registers what Adrian’s referencing and he glances at the carton in his hand and quickly sets it back inside the fridge. “Oh, no. No. Not vegan, just lactose intolerant,” he explains awkwardly, and Adrian gives him a slow nod before turning back to his glaze, while Phil takes his first spoonful of cereal. 

“Wait, what do you mean ‘finally’?” Phil asks after a few moments of silence, his spoon suspended halfway between the cereal bowl and his mouth. “Has he been trying?” 

Adrian glances up from where he’s drizzling a bit of carob syrup into his spoon, and purses his lips as if stifling a laugh, the exact same way Dan does. 

“Not actively, I don’t think,” he tells him, setting his syrup to the side and reaching for the balsamic vinegar. “He just complains sometimes that he can’t stick to the vegan diet when you’re always tempting him with animal products.”

Phil holds his gaze for a moment before they both burst out into laughter, him setting his cereal to the side and Adrian doing the same with his vinegar. 

“I’m kidding,” Adrian tells him, leaning his hip against the counter. “He just wants someone to blame for the fact that he loves meat and cheese.”

Phil chuckles and turns back to his cereal, because prolonged eye contact still makes him nervous. “The cheese is all him. If it were up to me we wouldn’t have any in the house, I can’t stand it.”

He takes another spoonful of his cereal and then without really thinking adds, “I did a video taste-testing different kinds once and felt sick for nearly a whole day afterwards.”

Adrian nods, smiles a little, and goes back to his balsamic vinegar. Phil kind of regrets saying anything then, because he’s not sure if YouTube is an okay topic for them to broach. Or social media, or the internet in general. He’s had a number of things he’s wanted to say to Adrian for a little while, many of them along the lines of I’m sorry we kept this huge secret from you for so long, but one of them also being I’m sorry our fans harassed you off the internet, especially when you were just a kid. That one’s been brewing for more than a little while, actually. But he has a feeling he should keep his mouth shut. Some things might be best just left in the past, and it’s not really up to him to decide if this is one of them.

“So anyway-” he starts after a few moments of silence, at the same time that Adrian lifts his head and says, “So you guys-”

They pause at the same time, and laugh awkwardly, and Phil leans back against the counter. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Go ahead.”

Adrian turns back and briefly stares into his bowl of glaze again. He’s still stirring it idly when he looks up to make eye contact. “So you guys have kinda been through a lot together, huh?”

Phil feels a bit of a lump in his throat and a squirming in the pit of his stomach because this is a conversation he’s had. He’s had it with Dan, with Dan’s mum, and even his grandma. But he never really thought anything would come from his brother. He figured they might have gotten up to some heart-to-hearts on their family trip to France earlier in the year, but he wasn’t expecting that to extend to him. 

“Um. Yeah,” he sighs, and drums his fingers on the countertop to release some of the nervous energy. Suddenly Adrian looks so young. Barely younger than Phil was when he met Dan, and that feels like a lifetime ago. When Dan was so full of pain and sorrow and yearning, desperate to get away from the first eighteen years of his life and start anew.

He knows Dan’s life growing up was shitty for reasons besides the homophobic assholes who made his life a living hell at school. 

“You guys too, though,” he finally ventures, hesitantly, questioningly. 

Adrian seems surprised, but not offended, which comes as a relief. 

“Yeah,” he nods and turns back to his bowl of glaze again, beginning to stir again even though it looks thoroughly mixed. “Lots of levels in Portal I couldn’t have beaten without his help.”

That’s not all there is to it, Phil’s painfully aware, but he doesn’t push it. He knows, and he’s sure Adrian knows he knows, and there’s not really any need to go any further. 

And luckily there’s no need to try and think of anything else, because just then they hear the front door swinging open, followed by a couple of happy yips and then Dan walking into the kitchen, bringing with him a gust of cold air and Colin trotting at his heels.

“Oh, good, you found the cereal.” Dan says when he notices the bowl sitting on the counter, and when Adrian’s turned away he rests a hand on the small of Phil’s back and quietly kisses his cheek.

Dan’s lips and nose are cold, but Phil’s cheeks warm up all the same.

He occupies himself with his cereal again, which has gone quite soggy, while Dan reaches into the fridge for some orange juice and then glances over at Adrian’s concoction. 

“Whatcha making there?” He asks, and Adrian smiles brightly. 

“Glaze for the lentil loaf,” he replies, and holds up the spoon. “Wanna taste?” 

Dan strides over, and takes a little lick off the spoon. Phil can tell from his expression that he’s not exactly thrilled, but he nods and gives a thumbs up anyway. 

“Tastes great,” he tells his brother. “Can’t wait for dinner.”

Adrian catches onto the bullshit, because it’s not that hard, meets Phil’s gaze and joins him in a fond eyeroll.

Phil waits for Dan to come back and stand beside him, bumps their shoulders together, and takes another bite of his Crunchy Nut.

-

thanks for reading!

[megglepie]

*busts in the door* I’m BACK (ATLA AU Ask #3) Ooooooooo yesss I like the Stain idea - I feel like he could also parallel to Jet & the Freedom Fighters in ATLA, like maybe Spinner, Moonfish, and Muscular could join Stain forming their own rogue group and they’re a cruel Robin Hood gang who don’t care how their disdain for the rich affects others. You could always bring them in as a stand-alone issue for the gang and then reveal that Stain had a hand in the Iida bros parents’ deaths? Just spitballing, GAH the potentials are endless!

Can I look forward to some JokeNight or EraserMic? 😏 I’m also very interested in Eri’s heritage... I’m wondering if that’s going to be an interesting plot point since she’s such a powerful fire bender? Hmmmm? *puts on detective hat* if you don’t wanna spoil too much, feel free not to comment!

Srsly I will talk about an ATLA AU all day 😂 maybe I will start on an EraserMic AU with them fulfilling the roles of Varrick and Zhu Li - just not sure at all about the plot. I’ll have to come up with some original scenes first and see where it gets me 🤔 I have a reverse Nomu EraserMic AU that I have bits and pieces written of (and my posted WIP The Disconnect) that I soooo need to finish first heh

oooh i like that villain group!! i think that idea could work super well actually?? putting a pin in that one too 👀sidenote: moonfish is creepy as fuck?? im not the only who thinks this right?? literal nightmare fuel

absolutely jokenight AND erasermic 😏emic is literally my most favorite ship ever so it’s 200% inevitable in p much anything i make for bnha hehehe

jokenight have shared heritage in this au!! emi ran away from the northern water tribe to avoid an arranged marriage 🤪

look forward to angsty tension btwn firebender hizashi and nonbender shouta who has fire nation trauma 🥰

ALRIGHT SO 🧐eri’s backstory is pretty much in line with her canon backstory 😔i mentioned she’s a firebending prodigy right? she wields Extreme power but lacks any sort of control because she’s a child lol but she especially lacks good guidance and healthy outlets after kai chisaki becomes her guardian basically, chisaki is still a child abusing motherfucker but instead of a whole group takedown like in canon, it’s more like hizashi rescuing her from the inside 👀and then running away with her to [relative] safety

i’m contemplating have mirio helping in some way as well but then killing him off as a stand-in for getting his quirk vanished jkhgfdfhgj why am i horrible sorry tintin my boy

plot is hard but the concept of a varrick zhu li erasermic au is splendid also....reverse nomu.. 👀 i would love to hear moreth

[messedupessy]

I saw ur opinion on soriel a while back on Twitter. And I wanted to say I feel the exact same way you do. I just don’t see two characters interacting always mean it’s romantic. Platonic love is great too and underrated. Finally someone who feels the same way about the ship

Ohhh I remember this, or well kinda I don’t fully remember where and how but I do recall I probably have gone off about söriel awhile back over on my twitter xD my memory is rly shitty lately pft!

But before I say more I just want to say while I do not like söriel like at all, so do I not care if you ship it, it’s your choice, all ships are valid and if you ship it I will respect the shit out of you and support you with all I have, because just because I do not vibe with it does not mean I got any say or right what you like, so ship away peeps all ships are flipping valid even when I personally do not like it!

So, yeah I am seriously not a big fan of söriel, especially for the reason you brought up that I have mentioned before, that just because a guy and a girl, or any characters rly, got a great relationship does not mean it always must be romantic! Like I do get where they are coming from, since I am a serious sucker for friends to lovers so I am been a bit hypocritical here I think, but Snas and Toriel got a really great friendship going on, I love their interactions they are so great! I personally just prefer them to stay just that, friends, as I can’t see them working out romantically at all xD or well I can see it but I just so do not vibe with it

Especially not when people who often ship it, not everyone though, considers it to be canon, that it’s a canon ship when it is so far from it! The only canon ship is Alphys and Undyne and formerly Asgore and Toriel, that’s it! 

There is no indication that they got any romantic feelings towards one another in the game or outside of it from canon stuff, like the alarm clock thing, or Deltarune even though DR is it’s like own au and technically does not count. But nowhere in canon does it say they got more than friendly feelings towards one another, and while I am completely fine and supportive when it comes to shipping söriel, but insisting it is canon when it is not is just driving me insane xD

Because unless they frikking kiss or something else very clear where they stand in the actual game of Undertale I will never see it as canon, and I think that’s like one of my biggest like griefs with the actual ship, alongside the fact that just bc a guy and a girl have a good friendship doesn’t mean they need to become more!

Yes Snas did make a “I fucked your mom joke” in DR but that’s seriously all that it was, a joke! And yet ppl saw that and went omg söriel is canon!

Putting the rest under a read more as I am getting srsly carried away here xD

But yes platonic ships and love are seriously underrated, I say who is such a massive multi shipper it hurts, but when it comes to these two I just don’t vibe with it, as I would rather they be best friends who do funny stuff together and are close than romantic. I can see why people see it as romantic but I just can’t, which is probably partly because of the fact I am so not a big fan of Toriel, and the fact whenever söriel be happening they almost always make Asgore completely ooc and make him a villain and the butt of the joke and like could you not? I know Asgore is Toriel’s ex husband, that he have done some stuff but she has too, but you don’t have to turn him into a flipping villain just to ship Toriel with Snas xD

I also overall just don’t think they would work, like I don’t think Toriel would be ready to even be in a relationship again or even be interested, she is busy with her school and taking care of Frisk in post pacifist alongside all her other issues and also her needing to face the fact that she is also to blame for things going to shit. 

And Snas while he is a really great and fun friend I don’t think he would be the best for her romance wise, especially considering that he lied to her and technically broke that promise she made him do, to protect the human. Because he didn’t do that at all, like yes he joked, showed the human a good time with his hangouts etc, but he didn’t protect them from getting killed or helped them in a way she herself would had done, and if she ever finds out he will be in serious frikking trouble xD as she would feel betrayed by it I feel, like here is the guy she befriended and who she made promise to protect any humans who came through the door, who she then believed he did, and then finding out he didn’t would hurt as fuck.

But yeah sorry for going off a bit there pft, couldn’t help myself xD but yes glad you agree with me tho! As just because two characters interact and have a good friendship does not always mean they need to be more, having them stay as friends is seriously great and underrated and I would love more of that, but as a shipper I get where ppl who ship söriel is coming from, and I support them! It’s just not the ship for me, and I will view them as platonic and best friends always, at least when it comes to canon, when it comes to au’s tho anything can happen if I like the dynamic and chemistry allot xD

But for you who do ship this ship, keep doing it! I will support you and cheer you on as fuck, because shipping is a wonderful and fun thing and while I don’t ship it, it doesn’t mean you can’t, and I respect that as fuck!

[theshinsun]

Kagami Taiga for the character ask thing 👀

Oh hells ye!! Thanks for sending one! ^^ …This’ll be long, be warned.

How I feel about this character

I LOVE HE. He is an angel, he is my son, protect at all costs. I seriously have a lot of respect for his character growth and he’s such a huge goofy sweetheart really (tries so hard to be polite to his seniors even tho he’s bad at it, does things for people without them asking like buying drinks for a rival team and throwing a whole giant party for kuroko’s birthday) plus he’s a kickass baller, boi got them skills and worked really hard for them. I’ll never not gush about this guy tbh, even years after this show stopped being relevant, I’m still in deep and Kagami’s just fantastic 10/10 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alrighty *cracks knuckles* I don’t think his list is as long as the one for Aomine (I ship that boy like a whore we’re talking pages), but I’m still multishipping trash so buckle up.

From most to least enthusiastically, 

Aomine (surprise surprise my OTP)

Kuroko (gotta go with the classics… it’s him +Aomine usually, they’re the perfect OT3 fight me)

Kise (probably the ship that’s grown on me the most, read Two if by Sea by tormalyne srsly I’m converted)

Kiyoshi (I adore the tiny bit of content I’ve seen for this pairing, and would love to see a relationship between these two so much)

Himuro (I’m not super into them romantically but I have eyes I see the history and the subtext, it just has to be handled right) 

Hayama (give me this cheetah/tiger rarepair please they’re both so pure and good I love) 

Midorima (they’ve got real potential and there’s more than one scene where they get a moment together and seem to connect, however oddly)

Nebuya (idEk but I want it)

Mibuchi (maybe a side-effect of their interactions in my own fic, but now I kinda wanna see these guys as a pair. Idk why Kagami gets all of Rakuzan but I don’t care he can Get it)

EDIT: Tsugawa (I don’t see Seiho rep hardly at all which is a shame bc these two had a hilarious headbutting dynamic in canon and would probably be a bomb-ass chaotic couple)

Murasakibara (I could see them bonding over snacks, and just hangin out being chill and cuddly or bickering like children) 

Akashi (I like the rich boy/city boy dynamic they could have, and the idea of Kagami helping give Akashi the chance to loosen up, while Akashi helps Kagami  become more refined and try new things)

I’ll also ship out of fandom don’t test me,

Yamazaki Sousuke (I blame Hyenas by nakedhelot for putting the image in my head. now it won’t leave.)

Hinata Shouyou (listen. LISTEN. they’re both hot-headed redheaded #10s who jump high and love food ok imagine them sharing pork buns. Imagine Hinata on Kagami’s shoulders. I love them this is a hill I’m willing to die on.)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Tie between Alex and Himuro, I just want these three to be a weird-ass found family that loves each other and gets into all the shenanigans. Tho I guess I lean more toward Himuro, I have a tiiiny bit of trouble shipping him with Kagami romantically as anything but a past flame, but I LOVE their relationship as snarky but soft bros. Those utterly incomprehensible friends who are inseparable, basically family and full of inside jokes and past experiences that bond them and make them who they are.

My unpopular opinion about this character

NOT. 👏  A. 👏  BOTTOM. Idk if this is necessarily an unpopular opinion now (it doesn’t seem to be such a thing anymore), but I used to have some major beef with the way Kagami was represented by the fandom, at least within most of the content I was seeing. Often he was portrayed as this shy/scared blushing virgin stereotype that’s Nothing like how he’s represented in canon. And an exclusive bottom, which… come on. Boy is a switch at most. This was back during peak KNB hype though, I don’t take issue with what I’ve seen from the remaining fandom nowadays. If anything I agree wholeheartedly with the direction fanon Kagami seems to be going, keep it up y’all.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish they hadn’t had him fly the fuck off to America in the last game movie, that wasn’t in the script  

Contradicting myself a bit here, but I wish we could have seen more of his time in America and gotten to know more about his friends and family. He comes across as a real lone wolf esp in the beginning of the show, but he seems to have people he likes, or at least some recurring faces, overseas and I’d like to know more about them. Give me more character backstory dammit!

[maddiicake]

Ramblings of a Madwoman

Because I honestly have no other idea what to title this as. To put it simple, that's what this entire journal is going to be. From start to finish--no stopping to think about whatever f-ed up stuff will be put into written text and to be immortalized for eternity (deleted after or not) here on the World Wide Web--nothing but unedited, freewriting, off topic sidebar-ing throughout the entirety of this Journal. So, we'll see where and how it ends.

In about a month, I'll have been on DeviantART for an entire decade (and about 8 years since Tumblr). And, I just want to make it clear: I've done a shit tone of fucked up things in all the years that I've been here. Of course, this was things that I mainly did to people. (Yes, people, because, let's face it, whether or not we have the comfort of anonymity behind the keyboard in the middle of our "safe space" of the internet, we're still people on the other side of the screens). But, yes, I've done and said fucked up shit to people during me time here. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Nor will I deny any of the messed up stuff that I've done, especially to said people, in the past decade. I'll spare you all the wall of novel-length text that consists of my usual self-deprecating self-flagellation, since you all know the drill by now. Plus, I would hate putting you all to sleep just at the beginning of this Journal.

I'm messed up in the head. Plain and simple.

In my younger years (earlier in the decade, right about when I first appeared on dA), I had something wrong with me--not sure what, but it was definitely something that I, unfortunately, would never fully realize until recently this year. I grew up sheltered in an overly Conservative and Bible-Thumping household. The neighborhood I grew up in was what my parents lovingly called "God's Waiting Room", because of all the old-timers living in the homes. Any kids around were ones that I wasn't allowed to socialize with because my parents didn't want them "influencing" me. So, needless to say, I didn't have much of a social life growing up. I only went to a real school for two and a half years of my life, and, during that time, I stuck out more than a sore thumb (Hell, I didn't even know what a "Cafeteria" was, because the only "Cafeteria" I knew of was the dinner table. So, needless to say, my first time experiencing "lunch" was very awkward). All in all, being sheltered and not having much of a social life when you're still in your single-digits you grow up having this narcissistic know-it-all, controlling, 'I'm better than you', 'I'm the only person in this world and everyone else doesn't exist' personality and you think that you can control everyone else to your every whim. Being put into a real school with other real life people and kids my age was, obviously, a massive culture shock. When you suddenly realize that other people are their own individual person and have their own free will, you start to become aware that you were educated and raised in a world that could be similar to solitary confinement.

"Oh, hey, (Saki's real name). What're you doing?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just trying to think of how I can get all my classmates together for our superhero team so we can go off and fight bad guys in my head, all the while thinking I can bend them to my will as if they're not actually other human beings."

"...Didn't Chris-Chan already do that?"

"Pfft. This is 2005! Chris-Chan won't be a thing for another few years."

Now, my parents weren't perfect. I was their first child, and the first-borns are always the "guinea pigs"  for new parents.  Of course, I never understood that my parents were humans until my 20s. They made mistakes with me, like thinking that not giving their young impressionable daughter a social life through the first crucial years of her childhood was a good idea.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining--that's always the initial reaction people get whenever they read posts like this from me. "Oh, Saki's just starting drama", "Kura just wants attention", "She's cray-cray and needs help, like srsly...". Believe me, I get it, I completely understand why one would think that I sound like I'm complaining. Because you, the reader, are just reading these little pixelated words that look black on your computer monitor/mobile screen. But, in reality, when up close, those pixels are just a collection of RBGs. You interpret what you see through your reading and comprehension of the words before you. Because you're not the author. You merely interpret what you're writing and filling the blanks with guesswork of what the writer is trying to convey through these little pixels making up words.

It's weird, y'know... They say that "hearing voices" is the first step into insanity. But, are you insane if you're fully aware of it? They say that psychos and sociopaths don't admit nor are aware of their disorder because of the narcissism that accompanies it. So... would you still be a psychopath or sociopath if you admit it and/or are aware of it? These are just a handful of the kind of questions that fill he chaotic Hell in my mind when nothing else is going on.

Lately, though, that hasn't been very often. For those of you, who follow me on Tumblr (by the way, if you still follow me there, you must have a lot of tolerance for me), you may have noticed the rather alarming on-and-off episodes I've been having over the past few weeks. Trust me when I tell you that former friends will assure that "This is normal for Saki/Kura. Just stay away from her. She's just a lost cause. You'll only end up hurt associating with her, much less talking to her."

"Saki... the things you have been saying aren't really 'normal'--"

"Oh trust me... this is the Keemster-level of a 'cycle' that she goes through. Why do you think we made her theme song that Keemstar Parody of All Star? LMAO. This is 100% Normal for her."

But, what is normal? 'Normal' is nothing more than a perception of what we're used to: routines, topics, lifestyles--whatever we are used to. When something occurs that is out of our routine, we immediately perceive it as 'abnormal' (or just not normal). Much life me experience, albeit rather brief, time I spent in an actual school. You feel that unnerving unease as the stranger in a foreign land.

Now, what I do and say isn't Healthy, that would be the proper use of the phrase you're trying to portray. But, my diagnosis came far too late. There's no undoing what is done. There's no chance at saving loathsome sinners, the chance they had was the life they had before and the punishment is this. There's no rainbows inside of demons.

People, who view others outside of their little bubble, call those 'abnormal' people "toxic", simply because that person has disturbing psychological issues. It's like: "Ewww! A mud puddle! Gross I can't believe I stepped in that! Now my $200 shoes are ruined forever because of that damn puddle!" Those people are treated as lower than dirt just because their perceived in such a negative light. It's a label those high and mighty ones quickly slap onto those, who can't help the disorders they have. Sometimes those people aren't even aware they have a disorder, yet those prissy princesses still sit with upturned noses and chastise with their prim: "You need help, srsly." with their venomous undertone of "I'm better than you." Is it really fair to be some uppity hoity-toity sociality; sneering through your little rainbow-soap window down below at those loathsome dirty little plebian peasants? Perhaps that may be "normal" for you.

Sometimes--no, actually, often; very often--I just want to pop that bubble. Let that sprinkle of soap sting their eyes as it dribbles into their corneas. Their screams and cries in pain while they lean over the sink to wash them out would be such a delight.

I would go into more detail about other things regarding this, but I'm not dumb enough to freewrite my thoughts out to the point there's incriminating evidence against me.

"...Saki, this Journal is getting a little dark..."

"It's called 'Ramblings of a Madwoman' for a reason. Besides, the little 13-year-old edgelord wannabes on this website get away with far worse. Trust me, I've seen them. Some of them are in their 20s and haven't grown out of that phase. Them going on and getting away with using their boyfriends, who has ties to the dark Web, to get the personal information (mailing address and all) of the people they don't like just so that they can have them killed. You'd be surprised how thin-skinned these little lefties are. 'Someone Disagrees with me?? -cue Mission Impossible montage of tracking that person down and killing them-'."

"But you're talking about killing people!"

"I have said no such thing! At least not put it in writing. What part of 'I'm not dumb enough to post incriminating evidence of myself' did you not understand, my dear?"

Yes... it would be nice to have a peace of mind for once day. It would be amazing to not have to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from another night terror (had one just last night actually). When people want you dead--and have gone out of their way to find your address so that they can kill you--, all you want to do is keep you and your family safe. People can't kill you if they no longer exist, right? It would be just so nice to be able to go on for the rest of my life without having to worry about being sought after and killed just because I disagreed with someone and told them they were being stupid and immature. Or just randomly responding to condescending Twitter users, who think I'm talking about a certain someone when I'm not. But, just knowing that people still continue to go after me for no apparent reason just causes those night terrors to persist.

I just want to keep my family safe. Selfishly, I want to be able to sleep without having to worry about people in other States and Countries somehow knowing where I live and can come and kill me at any moment.

"Why didn't you call the cops--?"

"Because I didn't know it was them at the time it happened. Their former friend didn't tell me about all the plots and things they said in their Discord server until two years later. So, they were able to get away with this because of the Statute of Limitations."

Regardless, that still won't put my mind at ease knowing that they're still out there and can pull the same thing or worse once again. I wasn't the only one they they did this too, either. Of course, that the YouTube Drama Channels for you. They do fucked up shit behind the scenes while putting on some "I'm a good person" face.

You can't trust people, who act nice publicly. They aren't the innocent souls they want everyone to believe that they are. They want something. They want something from you. And when they've squeezed everything out of you that they want... they'll toss you away with no hesitation because they're done using you. Using you to feed their little lambs, whose fleece are white as snow, while they sleep their way to the top.

They want me dead. They've always wanted me dead. They know where I live, and they'll take me out along with the rest of my family. They'll rejoice and be glad of course~ ^u^ "Ding Dong the witch is dead~!" They will sing as they dance together happily in the streets. "Huzzah! Hooray! The monster has been slain. No longer shall she continue to torment us because we have FINALLY killed her~!" They said so themselves: "I'm happy that people told you these things." That was back in 2015 (and I still have the screenshot and the link to the original post)... half a decade ago. Even back then, they wanted me dead. Their party planning for that day is still in preparation. But, they'll immediately set up once that time come when I no longer exist. "...Saki, you're not okay."

This is what happens to people when they've finally Snapped.

But, I want to get better. Don't get me wrong. I don't like that I've become this person. No, I don't believe in change--I don't believe people can change whatsoever. I just want to feel better and not have to worry about these things anymore. But, I know well that things will never be the same. All I can do is continue moving forward and hope and pray that I don't mess up once again and start the cycle all over.

[shiplessoceans]

13 reasons why is morally disgusting.

I am part way through season 3 of this show and it's disgusting. Not one character on this show is redeemable and the writers were either drunk or suffering amnesia.

*Alex becomes besties with the man who raped his ex-girlfriend. Oh yeah sure. No doubt. What the fuck.

* Monty bashed and forcibly penetrated Taylor but we are meant to forgive him because he's a self hating closeted homosexual. Fantastic.

*Bryce Walker the multiple rapist is dead but through flashbacks we're supposed to feel bad because his life matters too you guys. And yeah he got off with no punishment but his daddy doesn't love him anymore waaaah!

*This new girl chick showed up and is included in everyone's business basically because she's incredibly nosy and rude.

*Tyler found a body and then before calling the cops photographed it and saved all the pictures, and this is the sign that we don't need to tell his parents he tried to shoot up a school? Or that needs a trained therapist to help him not the bloody school counsellor? Oh but it's ok because seeing the dead body made him not want to kill himself anymore. Problem solved guys.

*And lastly the pro feminist in this show who encourages Jess to get elected for student body president is depicted as a militant bitch who wants to PROTEST A FUNERAL. YOU KNOW LIKE THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH BECAUSE THATS DEF WHAT FEMINISTS WANT. TO REVEL IN THE MISERY OF OTHERS. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

I am only on Episode 5 and I'm fucking furious. I'm watching this and remembering how much I looked up to shows about people my age in school and what a HORRIBLY DAMAGING message this show sends to kids.

"If you have problems don't tell adults."

"If someone hurts you and they're a spoilt rich kid don't seek help or tell anyone cause they will get away with it anyway"

"Rapists are people too" (srsly fuck this)

"Judges won't believe rape victims"

"Suicide will make sure people remember you"

Oh but why am I watching it? Because I have nieces and I know they will watch no matter what I tell them and I need to know how to counter the damage this is gonna do.

If you are a young person watching this please know this show is a sick attempt to gain attention by parading serious issues as entertainment. Don't believe it.