#starker shitpost

[starkerobsession]

[august-parker]

Sometimes I start typing something illegal to a starker shipper and then I remember I'm not on Twitter, I'm on tumblr

Being a silly positive person is the only thing keeping me from sending 💀 threats to starker shippers 😞 that's an adult man and a child. I don't play when it comes to p3dophilia

[marvel-heaux]

Send me starker prommmmpts! I wanna write and FULFILL DREAMS

[jordanparker]

the tags: SOULMATES!! THEY'RE SOULMATES!! FFS ITS AN AU WHERE THEYRE SOULMATES

me the moment its revealed they're soulmates: oh ma h god theyre sOuLMaTES!!11!!!1!!!!!

[jaepokii]

give him the waffle, Tony

[shona22]

l(o)w effort (c)ontent

[theginkosakata]

[starkeristheendgame]

The Russos had to kill off Tony in Endgame otherwise they'd have been forced to at some point depict him discovering that Peter bought porn on his credit card

[chokememrstark]

Peter: Mr. Stark, I know I'm not the prettiest or funniest–

Tony: Peter, that's not–

Peter: But I'll gag on your cock with full intent of killing myself, what more could you want?

Tony:

[starkerobsession]

typical starkerobsession shitpost

[keenforharley]

cat-hybrid peter who asserts his ownership of tony’s lap from day one. tony tries to disagree, explain that he doesn’t like to be touched too much, but peter can’t hear him over the sound of his own purring. tony just sort of adjusts ??? peter is super fucking cute, after all. rhodey and pepper are incredibly confused as to how dont-hand-me-things-directly tony has been conditioned to accept a lap full of catboy any time he sits anywhere but peter refuses to explain or apologize

[dorian-they-ao3]

MCU head canon

Shania Twain wrote “That Don’t Impress Me Much” after a one night stand with Tony Stark

Steve found out and now tells FRIDAY to play it every time Tony enters a room

Peter found out and immediately added it to his Mr. Stark playlist ironically

Thor found out and congratulated him on having a “warrior’s ballad” written in his honour

Rhodey found out and installed floor liners in the Audis with Shania’s face on them

Pepper found out and got him a pocket comb engraved with the song title

Bruce found out and now he says “What do you think, you’re Elvis or something?” every time Tony butts in on his projects

Natasha found out and now exclusively calls him Brad Pitt

[darker-soft-starker]

[preciouspeter]

10:15pm

tony: *leaves lab and walks into kitchen*

peter: *in his underwear, cooking ramen, staring intently into the pot*

tony: ...whatcha doing kid?

peter: *still staring into the pot* isn’t it crazy how water just- boils??? *quietly, in amazement* like just because it’s hot??? what??

tony: ...peter, look at me

peter: *turns around, eyes hooded and red to all hell, stoned af*

tony:  for fucks sake-

[jordanparker]

broke: tony and peter's relationship being made public and peter panicking about wether tony'll think he's a gold digger

woke: their relationship coming out and peter being like, "yea, im only in it for the platinum credit cards. teehee lol" and tony egging him on just for the gossip

[jaepokii]

i haven’t slept in three days

🚫Please do not tag as St*rker🚫

based on this post by @incorrect-assvengers