#starting out the era with a set i actually kinda like. must be the blue and red

[yangjeongin]

HYUNJIN | 230602 • S-CLASS / MUSIC BANK

[babybinko]

My second batch of venture bros genderbends are finally done! :D [first set here]

PLEASE LOOK UNDER THE CUT!!! I made all these nice drawings and doodles of them and I want people to see them without this post being super long! :') [My thoughts on the designs and doodles will be under the cut as well]

Okay NOW I'm going talk about my thought process on some of these:

Baby Rusty: I love the baby Rusty, the frilly socks and sleeves were a must. I actually drew her with the original set of genderbends but I turned off her layer and forgot about her 💀

Jonas Jr: not much to say about her, I tried to make her like Rosie the Riveter. Her little bandana has the Venture logo on it :)

Jonas Sr: I wanted her to be a hot bitch, her outfit is maybe a little scandalous for the time era they were in but I think it fits, canon Jonas is a whore. I think everybody would want her and that every celebrity, politician, and anybody with any power would chase after her so badly.

Blue Morpho: I made her so incredibly slay. I fucking love her outfit, I found the inspo for the outfit on Pinterest but I changed it up a bit. Also her gun has the bayonetta butterfly wings on it as a charm because I HAD TO.

Colonel Gentleman: Not a lot to say, I wanted to give her like horse riding esque boots and I gave her a purple flower cause she likes the ladies. I know generally WLW flowers are Violets and Lavender but I wanted to draw a rose so, Purple rose compromise <3

Dr.Boyfriend 2: With my last round Dr.Boyfriend was the only one people had complaints with. I think people wished he was more Masculine and I agree but if I switched up the design too much it wouldn't look like Dr.Girlfriend. I hope giving him armor and making him look like a knight helped him look more masc. I made the sheer wings cross over his chest to make it look like it was holding up the shoulder armor. Also his guild book is insanely high quality because I was procrastinating drawing his armor.

Goofy and Goober (Watch and Ward): I think they ended up really cute, I tried to make their hair colors close to Doc and Jacksons since I heard they are supposed to be like their "main" self inserts. With Ward I had a really specific idea for her hair, I kept thinking about this haircut from my sims and had to do it. It might be hard to see but her ponytail holders have skull charms on them. I also purposely gave them both some sort of ponytail hairstyle so they would match but be slightly different :) (They are absolutely prank calling or trolling their clients on that phone btw)

Shoreleave: OH MY GOD I LOVE SHORELEAVE. I kept turning her folder back on just to keep looking at her when I was drawing the other characters. She is so captivating to me, she looks so soft and human. I want to take a bite out of her thigh. My biggest inspo for her was Cammy from Street Fighter, I felt like her dressing a bit skimpy works for her since canon Shoreleave kinda does. The girls out for the girls.

Alchemist: I love her design so much too. I wanted her to look like some kind of nun or priestess. She looks like if a Zelda fire temple was a person. I kinda gave her like a weird little hime cut under the hood. Also I put the Triad logo on all three of their designs (+ Triana).

Jefferson: Had a lot of fun with her, I didnt change her design much from canon though so there's not much to say. I did give her more flared pants though. Drawing her hair was a really fun change of pace, I very rarely get to draw textured hair.

College Rusty and Monarch Drawing: I love this one, Monarch turned out so hot dude. You can tell what character I like more LMFAO. I made rusty very obnoxious 80s while keeping the colors of the original college rusty outfit. Monarch kind of looks like postal dude but its fine because shes slay.

Hereditary Venture Family Dinner Drawing: This was one of the first drawings I started but the second to last one I finished. I wanted to draw the family doing something together but I think I really truly just wanted to draw Dermott again. 😭 Nobody has said anything if they noticed but I did give hatred the shirt from these edits. (I believe the one on the left is from reddit and the one on the right is by SquashFold on Twitter)

Dermott piercing Dean's ears drawing: Even though its messy its in the top 3 favorites I did, It was also the last one I did. I just love the idea of Dermott giving goth Dean at home ear piercings. At first I didn't know if I wanted to make Dermott giving her piercings at the mall where she works or at home but the mall idea was too much work for a last minute sketch. Dermott is so mean older sister who shoplifts and works at the mall.

Drug bathroom drawing: Another one of my favorites, its based off a specific deleted scene from Invisible Hand of Fate where Pete and Rusty talk at the bar but Pete comes out of the bathroom sniffling at the start. I love the way I drew Pete pushing the hair out of her face and both of their expressions.

Bdsm 21 drawing: Okay first of all, The little devil Monarch was so cute I was screaming, crying, and throwing up while drawing her. I fucking love her, shes the smallest part of the image but my favorite. I also am quite fond of the bdsm 21.

Quizgirls Pete and Billy: I tried looking up Vanna White dresses to base Pete's outfit off of but I couldn't find one that Pete would actually wear so I just had to make shit up. Billy's design is really basic but the bow in her hair is actually from one of my rejected main Billy genderbends.

Me and The Bestie: I put a lot of effort into this one for no reason. Literally the moment I saw Jonas in the problem machine I thought he should be made of like blue slime. When I was working on this I kept thinking about Momopatchi's Hatsune Microbe drawing so this Jonas was definitely inspired by that. I gave Jonas makeup because she was having a party movie night on gargantua and I felt like she would still have makeup on thats like completely fucked up and deteriorating on her face after many many years. Vendata's outfit was partially based on Marguerite Chapman's from Flight to Mars, never seen it but I was looking up old sci-fi movie costumes to work with and I thought it would look good :)

[silvermp]

A fun crossover of language, botony, and Fandom.

So! In Demon Slayer, our big bad demon-vampire Muzan looking for the Blue Spider Lily.

Except… he’s actually looking for the (青い彼岸花 - the Ao i Higanbana - a plant name given to him by a doctor who was combining herbal medicines to treat him, before that doctor died.

(Ao is made into an adjective by adding い. So, ( 青い )Aoi is describing something as being colored blue - which would be great, except….

Higanbana definitely refers to the red spider-lily. Like, specifically the red ones. White spider lilies have a different name. Symbolically, they represent a final separation.

( 青 ) Ao also means Green as well as Blue, especially when talking about plants. Green apples are AoRingo. Linguistically, the two colors weren’t differentiated until very recently. This story is set in the Taisho era of Japan, with Muzan’s plant name coming from, uh, more than 1,000 years old.

Midori, 緑 specifying GREEN, was only introduced to the Japanese language in the last 100 years or so - well after traffic lights, which still are called “red yellow ao” and not “red yellow midori”

Additionally, we’re given the information that this flower was later successfully found! Apparently the plant bloomed only for a few hours in the day, and otherwise resembled a large horsetail weed. It could not propagate from seed.

Horsetail Rushes are common in Japan, and the sprouts are commonly foraged to eat in early spring like asparagus. They are a SEEDLESS plant - they propagate by spores, or by sending out shoots from an existing plant.

Horsetail rushes additionally are used medicinally - treating parasites, lowering blood pressure, increase blood clotting in a wound, relieving menstrual pain, and fever-reduction… while pretty much all lilies are poisonous.

Spider lilies aren’t super fatal in small doses, but they’re not medicinal either.

Below is a horsetail plant, with its “flowers” .

And now below THIS text is red spider-lilies (Higanbana) right before they bloom.

They kinda resemble each other, huh! Enough to gain a lookalike nickname, do you think? “Green-Higanbana” << referring to both the resemblance to a Higanbana scape (Plants which have not flowered, or just speaking of the leaves/stems are often called 'greens'), and the green color.

Herbalists across the world often referred to plants with all sorts of nicknames based on what they visually resemble…

As a final mail in the coffin, how about coffins? After Uta's death, textually the 青い彼岸花 - Aoi Higanbana started growing on her grave.

While Higanbana were associated with death and passing to the other side, they do not spread by seed in Japan. They must be manually divided from bulbs and planted, and can’t appear like that unless by magic/mystic means. They will grow around rice paddies and at gravesites via intentional planting

Horsetail meanwhile, also thrives around rice paddies and in disturbed soil like new graves. It’s a weed.

How likely is it, do you think, that Muzan’s doctor nicknamed the final ingredient of the medicine that would relieve a BLOOD CURSE “Aoi Higanbana”, but was actually talking about the medicinal common horsetail, and not a literal poisonous red spider Lily which bloomed blue flowers?

Totally hypothetical question, it’s my headcanon now.

[bluespiderlully]

KNY- My Lore

Blue spider lily AU

Okay: I'm finally here to explain you all something about my AU, this is the one set in the 1930s, I'll post something about my Taisho era AU too, but we're not here to talk about this.

Before diving in my AU I need to explain something about the general lore.

The main prompt for me was just "the Demon Slayer Corp is searching for the blue spider lily to take it from Muzan... but is this the whole truth?"

In the past there was just only one obligation when it came to choosing the ones who would have become Hashiras: there must be a Water Hashira, a Wind Hashira, a Stone Hashira, a Flame Hashira, a Thunder Hashira and, last but ABSOLUTELY not least, a Dream Hashira.

The Dream Hashira has one job in particular, keeping the secret that the Ubuyashiki family has links with Muzan, and that their "illness" is actually a curse caused by the Demon King himself, if the Corp were to find out they would probably stop respecting him, they would kill him I think. You might ask me how does the Dream Hashira respect him, well... there are a lot of things that people can do: brainwash, death threats...

And another question can be "how can the Dream Hashira keep the secret?"

Well, there's just one requirement to become a Dream Hashira: rare blood, a type of rare blood that can induce sleep and control dreams and that can be trained to erase and change memories, so if someone finds out something, the Dream Hashira has to do this.

In the previous generation a strange thing happened: Shinjuro Rengoku retired due to his alcohol addiction and some days after the other Hashiras all died in different missions, plus, the Dream Hashira (Enmu's master) was found dead in a room in the Butterfly Mansion, he apparently hanged himself... to the door handle.

Enmu was the one who found the body of the ex Dream Hashira, he immediately noticed hand signs under the rope, he understood that this was a threat for him, this because it was difficult for Kagaya to brainwash him, both him and his master started spying on him and found out he made deals with demons, and found out his true purpose about the blue spider lily: the Ubuyashiki family wants it to break the curse, and possibly become demons, immortality is tempting for everyone, let's be honest.

The day after, Enmu had to swore loyalty to the Ubuyashiki family and some hours later the new formation of Hashiras was convened and made official. Sixteen Hashiras to avoid the tragedy that happened with the last generation.

And this is all for this post, I hope you liked it; this is kinda funny because I have a lot of lore, I have a good base but I don't have any ideas on the story I could write, I don't have a timeline, I just have some interactions in my mind, I'll work about this and I'll come up with something!💙

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 3

Hek. I woke up today and found that my FNP phic has 41 notes and my DGROIDEIID phic is gaining attention and reblogs; holy shit. And I woke up at noon. It’s Saturday. I sleep in on such days. Anyways. Last I checked, Val and Danny were gonna go get Dani, but we need some Dip and Mabs action cause I forgot last night. I will probably develop an uploading schedule later. For now, just have random updates. I might even make a side blog for this shit.

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Chapter 3

Dipper stood off in the background as Danny got into an argument with a dracula ghost. By the amount of times he heard Plasmius, this must’ve been Vlad. Danny looked pissed when he finished. He still took Dipper and Mabel to their classes, but when they tried to find him at lunch, he was absent.  “I wonder where he is?” Mabel pondered.  “I’m sure he just had something to do,” Dipper replied. Some guy walked up to their table.  “Hey, you’re the kids Fenton is touring. Listen, he’s Phantom and I have proof!”  “And you are?” Mabel said patiently. “Wes Weston. Listen, you gotta believe me!” “We legit just moved here, we have no clue what you’re talking about. Leave us alone,” Dipper said. Wes looked taken aback.  “Fine! Fenton better worry. I will expose him. I just need more proof,” Wes stalked off. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look.  “Should we be worried?” He asked Mabel. “He seems to have it under control,” 

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Danny stared off into the daylight as they flew. Val set down.  “Come on. She’s fine. Why are you losing it?” “Just a certain Wisconsin Ghost told me about you keeping her,” “Vlad?” “Wait, you know?” “I’ve known since I met Dani,” “Jeez. I’ve known since I met the guy during my parents college reunion. I’m still pissed at him for that whole invisble wall fiasco,” “That was him?” “Yeah. I mean, I started it, but he kept trying to get in my mom’s pants. I needed to put him down a peg,” “You made his wall invisble!?” “Yeah. But it’s not like being naked on camera is going to tell the public any secrets,” “I’m confused. Why do care so much?” “It’s nothing,” Danny grunted. They were headed to the basement. “It seems to be something,” “I have things I’d prefer not to reveal to the entire school,” “No one saw your dick. You managed to catch it in time,” Val was confused. Danny laughed.  “Hey Val. Why would a guy have a female clone? Oh right. I forgot to tell you. Dani is more or less my clone because Vlad was being extra creepy,” “Weird. So she isn’t your cousin. Wait. OH MY GOD! Danny, I understand completely. If Dash knew, you’d be dead meat,” Val caught on quickly. Danny couldn’t but laugh at the dead meat. “Hey! What’s funny?” “I am dead meat Val!” “I’m an idiot. Anyways, we’re here,” She opened the basement door. Dani was sitting on the couch.  “Danny? Val? What’re you guys doing here. Shit, sorry Danny,” “It’s fine. She knows,”  “Who else knows anyways?” Val said.  “You, Jazz, Tucker, Sam and literally all the ghosts,” “Vlad included?” “Vlad included,” “And Amity Park can’t connect the dots?” “No one knows Danny Phantom has a human life. I’d be seriously pissed if someone told the general public,” “That’s fair. Anyways. We’re here because a certain Dracula cosplayer told Danny you were in danger,” Val said. Danny snorted. “Dracula cosplayer? I have to use that on him,” “Why would anyone think that’s a good look?”  “My ‘dad’,” Dani said. Thus causing both her and Danny to break out in laughter. “Where does the whole cousin thing come in?” Val asked. “My ‘Unkie Vlad’. It’s his way of making me family,” “Unkie?” Val looked lost. “I like being a little bitch to him,” “He deserves it! You should expose him,” “If I expose Plasmius, Masters exposes Phantom,” “Oh jeez,” “And there is a very good reason not to expose Phantom. And they wear way too much white,” Dani said quietly.  “I’d prefer not to get dissected,” Danny said haughtily. “They already want to,” Val made a noise of disgust.  “How could anyone with a set of morals do that?” “Heh. I’m a ghost. Not really real to most of the world. I don’t have feelings. Don’t feel pain,” Danny repeated what the ghost hunters had told him way too many times.  “That sounds awful, but we should get back to school. Cya Dani!” Val waved and put on her helmet.  “Hey, wanna leave the quick way?” “What do you mea- AAAAAAAH!” Val screamed as Danny made them both go intangible and up through the roof. “Never. Do that again,” “Hey, at least you didn’t end up going through the table and random floors and get banned from handling anything fragile,” “I’m confused,” “When these powers first came in, I was stuck dropping everything. From my pants to beakers,” “Oh jeez. So, why aren’t nerd and nerdette with you?” “Tucker had to go see a doctor out of town and Sam’s mom took her to this convention thing. They’ll be back tomorrow,”  “No comment on the nicknames?” “They’ve been called worse,” Danny shrugged. “And I’ve been shoved in way too many lockers to care,” “I have one last question. Why on earth would you try to date me when I was trying to kill you? And why did you destroy the suit when I could’ve been inside?” “That’s two questions. But Fenton and Phantom needed a distinction, and I knew you weren’t inside. Technus was controlling the suit,” “You are a mystery,” “I’d like to keep it that way,” “You won’t tell anyone my secret if I don’t tell anyone both of yours?” “That makes it sound like you’re going to tell one of them,” “That’s not what I meant,” “We need to come up with an excuse as to why The Red Huntress suddenly has a truce with Phantom,” “Later. I need coffee,” “I couldn’t agree more,” The plume of blue air showed up. “OH COME ON!” “What,” “I have to deal with something,” Danny sped off. 

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Dipper and Mabel looked at the chaos in the caf.  “Students! Hide under tables! Ghost Hunters and/or Phantom will be here soon,” Mr Lancer yelled into a megaphone. “Already here!” Someone yelled. A flash of white said Phantom. There was blue ghost throwing boxes around.  “I am the BOX GHOST!” It yelled. “Yeah, we know. Just say it already,” “I will win this fight with boxes of... spoons! BEWARE!” “Don’t you know not to bring a spoon to a knife fight?” “You do not have a knife!” “No, but I do have a thermos!” Phantom pulled out a green and grey thermos and flipped the lid.  “I will not stay in your cylindrical object!”  “Looks like you’re gonna have to,” Phantom pressed a button and a beam of light came out of the thermos and sucked the Box Ghost inside. “Is everyone okay?” Kids pushed out from under the tables.  “Phantom! Will you sign my book?” Dash said. This must be a cruel joke.  “Ghost boy! The Fenton Peeler is back in action,” “Whoops, gotta go!” Phantom dashed off as Jack and Maddie Fenton came rushing in. “Darn it. Missed him again,” They ran off. Danny walked into the caf and ran over to them. “You guys are lucky that your first ghost attack was the Box Ghost. Harmless,” “Doesn’t look very harmless to me! That’s gotta’ve been at least a level 5,” Dipper opened the journal. “Nah. Box is a solid 2. Hardly a step up from an ectopus. Might get concerned if Desiree shows up. She’s a level 5,” “What’re you?” “We more or less tested it. Pretty sure I’m a 7,” “That means they aren’t a big concern to you most days,” “Mmm. King Pariah was a level 10. That was terrifying. Vlad’s an 8. Convinced he’s a 9,”  “Okay,” “Skulker gets to be a 6 on a technicality. Without the suit, he’s a 1. He can be an 8 on a bad day. I think Frostbite is a 9. He won’t bother you guys though. Dan must’ve been a 9, but I’m not going into that. Technus is an 8, but can be a 10 if he gets his hands on the right tech. Clockwork is an 11, which technically doesn’t exsist, but Clockwork breaks the mold. He won’t bother you unless you end up destroying the world in the future,” Danny shivered.  “Who’s Dan?” Mabel looked confused.  “Nobody. Just a horrible way to learn not to cheat on tests,” Danny shivered again. “But that’s not important. I didn’t cheat on the CAT,” “Your life seems more hectic than Gravity Falls sometimes,” Dipper said. “Where is that? I’ve never heard of it,” “Oregan. Never Mind All That,” He knew the rules. “You know, the way you say that is kinda creepy,” “We’d be breaking the law if we told you why,”  “Jesus. Well, it’s not like we’ll get another Pariah unless an idiot thinks it’s a good idea. He’ll never get his hands on the crown of Fire,”  “Time Out,” Dipper and Mabel looked around.  “Umm, CW, why aren’t they out with everyone else?” “They’ve met Cipher. At this point, I cannot pause time for them,”  “Eh, whatever. Mason, Mabel, this is Clockwork. What’d you need?” “I actually came to speak to you about the Crown of Fire. In defeating Pariah, you gained ownership,” “I, uh, did what now?”  “Gained ownership of the Crown. Though in your case, it would be the Crown of Ice,” Clockwork repeated. Danny looked lost.  “I don’t need to be the King of the Ghost Zone,” “Someone must take the place. It’s your duty,” Danny looked like he was about to have a full on panic attack.  “Can it wait?” “Two years is a long wait as is,” “B-but it went thousands of years before!” “Because they failed to remove the crown and it wasn’t a singular person,”  “What’s two years in the Ghost Zone? As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t seem like a long time. Walker was gonna give me a thousand year prison sentence,”  “You get some time, but I’ll tell you, if you take the crown, the Ghost Zone enters an era of peace unprecedented,”  “Danny, what’s happening,” Mabel asked. Danny snapped and started hyperventilating.  “I can’t. No. Why? I just wanted to keep the world safe! Is that too much to ask?” “Daniel, you do get time to think about it. Just remember, time can pass however fast or slow I want it too,” “Right, of course. Cya CW,”  “Time In,”

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Danny trudged home. Exhaustion and anxiety gripped him. Mason and Mabel had been concerned, but he wasn’t about to explain everything. He’d talk to Sam and Tucker tomorrow. It didn’t help that he’d had gym after lunch. At least there wasn’t any more disappearing walls.  “Danny! How was school?” Mom asked as he walked in the door.  “Great!” Danny said and rushed upstairs. He’d deal with The Box Ghost in a minute. Jazz stood in his doorway. She didn’t know about Dan, but she did know about Pariah. “Danny, is everything okay?” “No, everything is not okay!” “What happened? Is it Dash again? We should report him,” “It’s not just that. You remember the Pariah incident?” “Yeah, you don’t just forget that,” “Well, turns out that by beating him, I ‘gained ownership’ to the crown,” “That doesn’t sound bad exactly,” “It’s horrible!”  “How?” “I just wanna be a kid, ya know? It’s hard enough living a double life, but ruling the Ghost Zone? I’d have no chance to do anything remotely useful in the human world,” “You wouldn’t need to. If you ruled the Ghost Zone, ghosts wouldn’t come here anymore,” “The King can’t enforce rules in the Human World. It’s just scary,” 

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Aight, that’s a chapter, I guess. The ideas tend to come from random places, and my brain is running out of ideas. I need to do another “planning session” which is coming up with scenarios in my head to make sure they make sense.

[ragnarachael]

#12 fluff prompt; loki and the reader go on their first date, being all shy, awkward and cute and the date ends up with a kiss or something like that!

HI HELLO, SO UH THIS IS 1.2K WORDS OF COMPLETE SOFT??? CONTENT???? i think i’m just SO fucking soft for loki in thor (2011) so this is the era of loki i envisioned for this. i don’t know if i should say i’m sorry but i’m YEARNING so. ur welcome. (ironically i was listening to PARANORMAL by HUMORUS as i started to write this out, and it kinda… kinda set the Vibe™️)

LOKI TAGLIST:  @sadwaywardkid

finishing my 700 follower celebration with the rest of the drabbles i’ve received! (requests are OPEN if you’d like to send any in!)

The time leading up to your first date with Loki was nothing but anxiety inducing.

You are, afterall, courting the prince of Asgard. Officially.

Frigga was excited to hear of this news when Loki had returned from asking you officially to the date, and helped plan everything Loki asked for her help on.

Almost all the way down to what you wore, actually, except Loki was quick to pull his mother back due to her excitement.

Loki and you had agreed upon meeting in one of the gardens in the palace you used to play in as kids for a evening picnic and watch the sunset on Asgard.

You never read about first dates being as awkward as they were in the novels you had, but after all, they were novels.

“You.. You look…” Loki started before trailing off when he walked up behind you with a basket in hand as you turned to look at him over your shoulder, a shy smile. growing on your face as you saw how.. how taken he looked.

He looked floored, honestly. As if you recited the most heartfelt poetry that was to make even the strongest men cry.

All you had done was wear one of your more fancier ensembles that you didn’t mind getting too dirty, remembering that he had mentioned something about a picnic.

“You look great.”

“Thank you,” you replied nervously, quickly getting up from the stone bench you sat on to take his free hand. “So, are you to take me to the clearing?”

And so, the date started.

The both of you were tense after sharing a dinner that Loki admitted his mother couldn’t help but pack for the two of you in the picnic basket he had carried. 

You couldn’t hide the giggle you had as Loki recalled how much his mother actually helped make most of the things in this date happen.

“She must really like me if she’s helping you do all of this,” you teased, nudging Loki lightly which caused him to chuckle as well.

“I fear if she had the chance, she’d make you her daughter no matter the consequence.”

The both of you shared a soft pair of laughter before you realized the tension had lifted between the two of you.

It was relieving.

You and Loki lay in the grassy clearing that was hidden by the rather large garden in the palace where you usually stargazed, leaning into his side as Loki’s arm was wrapped around your shoulders.

Watching the sunset together with Loki was actually a very.. intimate affair.

Far more intimate than you could have imagined with Loki.

You, being tucked in his side and held firmly to his side? The safest you’ve felt in ages. Even if you felt the urge to move, you didn’t let yourself do so. You felt comfortable.

And Loki seemed to feel the same.

Once the sun finally set past the trees of the clearing, the sky still a mix of blues and purples with twinges of red, Loki started to talk about the stars. The constellations, to be exact. Casually tracing some out even though the sky wasn’t ready to reveal the map it had so carefully crafted millenniums ago. 

“My personal favorite is Ophiuchus, but you can’t see it too well from where we’re positioned,” Loki explained softly, as if he had to whisper so the constellations could come out. 

“Isn’t that represented as a man grabbing a snake?”

“It is, yes,” Loki answered as his gaze turned to look at you with a cheeky smile on his face, “very telling, I’m aware.”

You snorted as you readjusted yourself to have your head laying on Loki’s chest, the sky slowly turning a darker blue as you two continued to make small talk about any and everything just before you excitedly pointed out what looked like a constellation, Loki naming it in almost an instant.

You laid like that until the both of you started to yawn, and Loki insisted he take you home before you fell asleep on his chest, as if he didn’t know it was the most comfortable you felt in ages.

After some dramatic huffing, you agreed and took his hands he offered to help you up from the ground.

The walk back to your home was quiet, but extremely peaceful as you held Loki’s hand, not at all hesitating to swing it back and forth between you as the two of you walked at the same pace, the quiet thumping of the picnic basket filling in the silence.

You chose to continue what you were doing earlier as you laid in the grass.

“What’s that constellation?”

“Darling, you took the same class as I did, you know exactly what it is,” Loki replied before letting out a chuckle.

You tried not to let the pet name affect you. 

Darling.

“I like when you tell me about them, though. Your voice is much better than mine.”

“Now that I beg to differ,” Loki replied before slowing his pace with you at his side before looking up at the night sky to see what you were pointing at.

“That’s Lepus, and just below it is Orion.”

Letting out a pleased hum, you squeezed Loki’s hand in your own before laying your head on his shoulder. You listened to him talk more about the Orion constellation and its family as you continued the trek home.

If you weren’t walking, you would have most definitely fallen asleep just by hearing Loki’s voice carry on with twinges of excitement about the sky.

You were at your doorstep far too soon for your liking when Loki placed the basket down and grabbed both of your hands, pressing your foreheads together. You knew your face was heating up under his gaze, unable to hide the smile that was growing.

“I hope you enjoyed this date. I… I was worried that I would find a way to ruin it.”

“Loki,” you started softly, lifting your head so your foreheads weren’t touching and pulling one of your hands from his to cup one side of his face, “I had the best time with you. I couldn’t have pictured a better date—”

You were cut off with Loki’s lips.

And you melted completely into his touch.

You kept a hand on his face as his hands wrapped respectfully around your waist to pull you closer, which only deepened your kiss.

His lips were just as soft as you imagined and that made you realize you never wanted to leave this moment whatsoever.

However, you had to breathe.

And so did Loki, for he pulled away first, the both of you took shaky breaths after the exchange.

“Perhaps next time you kiss me when I’m not in the middle of talking,” you teased quietly, pressing your foreheads back together again as you both let out breathy giggles in the chill of the night on your doorstep.

“My apologies, darling.” Loki had a face splitting grin on his face as he spoke. And so did you. You were sure of it.

Letting out a skeptical hum in reply, you were quick to take a deep breath before connecting your lips again with more vigor letting both of your arms wrap around Loki’s neck as he happily kissed you back with just as much excitement, one of his hands trailing up your back to press you even closer to his chest.

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - Banana Fish Review, Vol. 1, Part Four

(This was one of my fav gifs looking for gifs of Shorter.)

*There will be pictures/gifs included tomorrow, because this is already late & loading them is taking forever, for some reason.

Haha, no, I actually prettied it up 1/5/21. Yes, I’m glorious.

No I’m actually Dio DIO in this situation, who am I kidding.

(This transition from Caesar to Dio fascinates me, by the way.) (The GIF.)

The JOJO reference is because I’ve finally finished Diamond is Unbreakable! It was fun! I enjoyed it a lot! Ready for the next part!

But back to Banana Fish.

Hope you enjoy this!

So my plans failed again. Who is surprised? (Not me.)

I apologize profusely for the gaping void of Banana Fish-ness left since last I posted.

No really. I now have an alarm set for every Wednesday.

Let’s see how this goes. News Update: Maybe next time.

Also, my internet is still blitzy & rotten, otherwise I would’ve posted this yesterday (the 15th).

Now on to the in-depth, delighted gushing - er, review, of Banana Fish!

*Also, this is part 4, and 4 is a special number for me. Because of this guy:

And I can spell his name correctly!!! (It’s Ulquiorra, from Bleach, my 1st anime fan gushing love.)

Yes, I’m strange. Moving on.

So, brief recap, since I’m not sure anyone has read Part 3, given how terrifyingly long it is. If you missed it, here’s the link:

https://imagine-fight-write.tumblr.com/post/632014616404344832/random-banana-fish-review-vol-1-part-3-my

Please love & like it & repost to the rest of the Web. I worked tremendously hard on it.

Yes it’s long, but oh, it was delightful! There was snark! Delicious food! Wine! Fabulous mustaches! Mysteries! I gushed so much!

(And snarled at the wonton waste of good breakfast food, which I will not forget & always condemn.)

*I mean, I know people who will throw up if they have breakfast in the morning. But it’s important to eat so you have energy to do things & feel good.

And Dino took a perfectly beautiful breakfast & essentially wasted it for no good reason. I was so mad.

We meet Dino Golzine, a.k.a., Ash’s worst nemesis /enemy (note, I can’t spell nemesis) and major reason for why his life sucks.

(Although society doesn’t help either. Though the police try. They really do. Except what’s his face who’s complete scum & thoughtless, but we won’t meet him til Vol. 2. Plus I don’t think he has a name?)

But yes, Dino Golzine. All around awful person, and not safe around children (or anyone, really.) He’s low-key in this scene, mostly using verbal assaults (to great effect) but just you wait. There’s a reason he’s a mob boss.

Ash snarks, to great effect, but he’s no match. Dino has all the cards and all the dice (cards & dice being metaphors for power, & how he involves awful, painful memories of Ash’s past & tries to manipulate & order him around. Brrr.)

But Ash rallies, and ultimately refuses returning to be Dino’s heir / toy.

We meet Shorter! Huzzah!

(End of recap.)

It’s clear right away Shorter & Ash are old friends. They exchange quips about Marvin. We learn Marvin holds a mean grudge, so savvy readers can guess it’ll come to play later (it does.)

Shorter’s last line is strange.

“Just don’t put me in the position of having to kill you.”

Which is kinda out of the blue. I don’t know what to make of it. It doesn’t spoil or fore-shadow anything (unless in a very confused, round-about way) because that never happens later. So I’m confused.

Ash laughs it off and goes zooming off on his motor-bike / motorcycle (not sure which).

Note, from this short scene we already learn Shorter has his own sources of information - he knows Ash went to Dino’s, fast enough to be there before their conversation ended (unless he was just lucky to be there already  - why was he there?). He already knows about Ash’s talk with Marvin, with enough detail to warn Ash about Marvin’s temper & that Marvin likes him, which is a bad combination.

Shorter is smart & cares about his friends, warning Ash about Marvin. 

Aren’t friends great?

Especially after meeting such a dominating if soft spoken monster like Dino?

The answer is yes.

Next, we get this hilariously great shot of Ash running up the steps to his dingy apartment (pg. 47.)

 It’s reminiscent for me of a scene in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Part 1, when Jonathan & Dino have their epic fight in the Joestar mansion.

There’s a part where Jonathan does this epic flip up to a second floor via sword (it’s epic) & it ends with this a few-seconds-longer-than it-needs-to-be shot of his butt. You can’t miss it. I’m usually oblivious to such things & I noticed it. I laugh every single time.

Anyway, back to Banana Fish.

(The atmosphere of grunginess (it’s not a word, I meant dirty, ugly, rough) & spartan furniture is great. Just look at those walls. I adore it. 

(But would never want to live there.) Ash is clearly not rich & after Dino’s rich mansion, this is a stark contrast.

Also, there are no pictures or posters on the walls (which are festooned with dirt and cracks instead.) In fact, there’s almost nothing in terms of personal effects at all.

This baffles me. I mean yes, I assume they’re all dirt poor, living in a gang & working for the mafia on the side isn’t something you do for the luxuries. But surely they’d have something.

Or maybe it has something to do with Japanese decorating aesthetics? Meaning, Japanese appear to be more spartan than Americans in terms of decor (see the book, In Praise of Shadows, for example.) 

* I can’t spell aesthetics. Why do I even use that word?

The apartment just looks extremely bare compared to others I’ve seen in movies depicting this era. Is what I’m saying.

Look at those bare walls. (It hurts me.)

Thoughts? Comments on how Japanese, Americans, and Europeans differ in basic decorating styles? Comment below!

Also remember as always, Banana Fish is both set & was written in the 1980’s, well before the “modern” style we have now.

Unless - wait. There is something very important to Ash which he’s clearly hiding in the apartment he goes to, which I assume only Skip & select members know about.

So maybe this isn’t actually Ash’s main base, where he sleeps & hangs out?

Yes, that must be it.

If you’re confused, I’ll explain once we get done with this section.

Moving on.

We meet Skip!!!! (Pg.47)

Black characters (and Latino) are still, alas, extremely rare in manga, anime, & other media, so all the cheers for including Skip so early & as such an important character.

Because Skip is very important. For multiple reasons. More on that later. Also note, 1 of the gang members Ash busts earlier is also black.

Again, the dialogue is great here between Ash & Skip, establishing Ash’s trust in him. Which is no small thing.

Skip is like Shorter, (agh, both their names start with S) sweet, but also has a nose for news.

Arthur’s going to get it, hah!

There’s yet another reference to it being early.

Though there’s no specific time mentioned . . . Nope, not since Ash found the poor, dying banana fish dude.

Does Ash usually sleep in? Is he a night owl? He was wandering around at 1 in the morning last night, after all.

*Yes, technically it was early morning, but it was still dark, so bite me.

But then, he was also suspicious & keeping tabs on his 2 gang members. So, who knows.

But I’m going to guess he’s a night owl.

Ash sits on the bed, and after Skip mentions everything is good, “him, too”.

 Ash gives his 1st real, genuine smile. Gentle, relieved, no hard edges. Just pure happiness & relief. It’s sweet.

(Also, I just realized the “him, too” is supposed to be a surprise / shock for the reader & I spoiled it earlier. I do apologize.)

Skip offers to get coffee but Ash declines, deciding to nap, which reminds me:

Actually, drinking coffee before you take a nap can, for some people, actually make you sleep better.

Also, short cat naps (15-30mins) can boost your energy and mood.

Naps are good for you!

I almost wondered if the comics Skip had on the table might’ve been manga, but remembered it was the 1980’s and, far as I know, manga wasn’t big the U.S. yet. Alas!

Which is funny if you think about this being in a manga.

Skip goes to leave. Ash puts his hand in his pocket and gets this intense, almost fierce expression on his face (middle panel, pg. 48).

I was absolutely baffled by this reaction for a long time, but finally figured it out. Ash’s reaction is supposed to be baffling, because what he realizes right here will be revealed in the next few pages.

Skip, concerned, asks what’s up, but Ash brushes him off and sends him off to buy coffee. (After which I sincerely hope he takes a nap, because he needs one, he’s been up all night.) Sleep is good for you!

Skip is able to buy coffee with a single coin. A single coin.

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

All my tears, and curses on inflation and overpriced coffee! And Starbucks!

Anyway, we learn Arthur’s going to get it (and Skip is the best spy ever) and the scene cuts to:

Our favorite person (not) Dino Golzine, tending his orchids.

I like this. It’s a rather unique hobby for a villian. I assume to give him a refined, elegant, and exact air.

He’s interrupted by Angie & his fabulous mustache (snickers) and this delightfully comic scientist person (who might be important later? The face sameness makes it difficult to judge, & I’m too lazy to consult my other volumes, which are not close by.)

But his entrance is priceless (pg. 50). I mean seriously, please go find it if you haven’t already. It’s dramatic, with a big WHAM! & he looks so cartoonish. 

I love it.

Dino tells him, essentially, “don’t disturb my orchids” and me being an non-gardner person, I wonder: is it actually true loud noises can disturb flowers?

Comment below!

Anyway, Dino quickly establishes yes, he did send Ash’s gang members to kill the poor banana fish guy who started this whole mystery, and yes, it was important.

There’s a great panel (pg. 51) of scientist dude, drawn much less comedic, the whole panel black except for a white aura around him sweating and clearly in distress.

He whispers, “It - it’s gone.”

Dino snaps to attention with a leonine look, exactly like a cat who has just spotted another cat. It’s easily my favorite picture of Dino so far, very striking.

The dialogue is brilliant and snappy, short and direct.

“What is gone? . . . You’re positive? . . . Just a small amount.”

And we get the grand reveal:

Ash, taking out a bullet shaped capsule (was the shape intentional by Yoshida?). A capsule he’d clearly taken from the dying banana fish guy. There’s a great panel on the bottom of pg. 52 of Ash’s questioning expression and a ?

He unscrews the capsule and pulls out a tiny vial.

Thinks of the address the dying banana fish guy gave him.

Ash goes into the next room, where we see the silhouette of someone sitting with a plaid blanket draped across their knees.

He expresses his first real look of vulnerability, and gives a wonderful line:

“Go see . . . Banana fish . . . He said it and died. And you say it and you might as well be dead. Who did this to you? Griff . . . Please tell me, big brother.”

Everything clicks together (almost.)

Griff /Griffin is the soldier shown way back in the very beginning. The one who left for a few minutes and came back insane and shot up his squad.

Who’s now a human vegetable.

Banana fish is clearly responsible. Somehow.

And Dino is mixed in with it (of course). Pieces are coming together, but questions still remain.

Until next time!

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Let me tell you about A.C.E (Appreciation post and a guide)

‘So I have stanned A.C. E since debut and have always enjoyed them, but this comeback really sparked something and they have now become one of my favorite groups of all time. They are still criminally underrated so I thought I would make a little appreciation post, because they deserve it. Also while writing this turned out to be a lowkey guide too. 

So let’s start

BEAT INTERACTIVE

All I have to say is in this house we stan CEO Hyeim. Beat Interactive is a company that only houses A.C.E. The respect for them starts from literally the beginning, their name A.C.E starts because they didn’t want to refer to the members as trainees, but as their companies’ aces. 

If you don’t know A.C.E stands for Adventure Calling Emotions and adventure is a big part that Beat Interactive let’s A.C.E have. A.C.E are a group going on an adventure being able to find themselves in a company that let’s them. 

A.C.E when they were ‘trainees’ were also just like, “Can we busk?” and Beat Interactive was like “You wanna busk? Okay here use the sound system and have fun” Beat Interactive let them choose locations, set ups etc. 

Beat Interactive give A.C.E alot of freedom and this is why they have grown so well.

Beat Interactive also makes sure they are well educated. Their Ceo made sure that they would be educated, reading books on feminism and opening a tab on their community to talk about the things they learned and discussing things with fans which I find amazing. 

Thank you Beat Interactive, staff and CEO Hyeim for treatting our boys so well!

A.C.E’s growth

I personally very much like it when groups debut and aren’t immediately popular. Let me explain, I feel like debuting with a strong popularity and getting very big on the first song. I feel like that intense popularity adds a lot of pressure to the group from the get go and it also brings a lot of negativity. 

A.C.E have had a slow start. Their debut bringing them controversial opinions due to the styling. It seemed like that’s what everyone really focused on. But ‘Cactus’ as a song was a solid debut as a song. The mv wasn’t high budget, but it didn’t need to be. The styling was daring and I really loved it alot and thought it was a good risk to take. The choreo was impeccable but no one really seemed to focus on that, it was all about what they were wearing which was kinda sad. Felt liek their talent was being overlooked. 

They then released ‘Callin’ and it’s personally one of my favorites of theirs (who am i kidding all their releases are my favorite) the song is great follow up to ‘Cactus’ keeping up with the hardstyle genre but with a nice twist. The styling for this one wasn’t as risky and the choreo was absolutely amazing and the song showcased all of their talents. 

Then A.C.E went on some survival shows, Jun and Chan going on The Unit and Wow, Byeongkwan and Donghun going on Mixnine. 

I would just like to add all the members of A.C.E did very well on the shows they were on. Chan making it into the final lineup on The Unit, and being in the temporary group UNB. Jun ranked 21 out of 63 and Chan ranked 9 out of 23 on The Unit. 

On Mixnine, Byeongkwan and Donghun made it into the final lineup of Mixnine but never debuted because YG is a snake. Byeongkwan ranked 4, Donghun ranked 8 and Wow ranked 12 out of 72 male trainees. 

These survival shows brought more attention A.C.E’s way and was a good choice for them. 

After the survival shows, 4/5 of A.C.E came back with ‘Take me Higher’ which was very different from their previous songs and this was their first mini album. ‘Take me Higher’ is a bright happy track with fun colors and shows off their vocals very well. 

The choreo was very fun, not as complicated as their previous songs but very fitting and the styling again was different. Men sporting crop tops on live stages with no undershirts was something kinda new and again very refreshing to see. 

The B-sides on the album also gave us a chance to see a different side of them. ‘Black and Blue’ being an intense song sung by Jun and Wow. ‘Dessert’ being a fun playful track by Donghun and Byeongkwan. ‘5tar(incomplete version)’ being a beautiful ballad for the fans but sadly missing a member. 

I remember this album coming out and I was having an absolutely horrible day and this song coming out. It made my day so much better and just put a huge smile on my face. So I am very thankfull for that. 

And then BOOM. ‘Undercover’ came being undoubtebly one of my favorite releases of 2019. To me it felt like forever before A.C.E came back and they came back with vengeance and all 5 members. 

‘Undercover’ is such an intense track and the music video matches it very much so. With smooth outfit transitions in choreo parts, awesome styling and Byeongkwan in that yellow leopard crop top and coat with the pigtails and yeah. Wow with glitter brows. Rap dup really shined this era and just amazing. 

This choreography is also the toughest A.C.E choreo they have and it is incredibly intense, if you want a good workout, learn that choreo.

This was also an EP with hard hitting tracks like “Do it like me” and “Mr. Bass” and another beautiful fan song “If you heard” which makes me cry. 

Savage. This song, this comeback holds one of my favorite tracks of all time. ‘Savage’ really was the comeback I needed in the midst of all the bad stuff going on it really made me very happy. 

So ‘Savage’ is really intense with a hard bass and just great. I love this. Wow’s rap is one of my favorites of all time. I wish it was so much longer. The vocals in this song are deep and full. The choreography isn’t their hardest but fits the song and is very high energy. 

The b-sides on this album are my absolute favorite. ‘Slow Dive’ is actually one of my favorite songs of all time right now. The vibe is dark and sexy yet still very smooth. ‘So sick’ showcases all of their vocals beautifully and my bias has my favorite part in the song too so it’s just lovely. ‘Holiday’ is a fun bright track which contrasts the title track a little but is still incredible. ‘Take me higher (complete version)’ THEY MADE A VERSION WITH ALL 5 MEMBERS. 

The Members

These boys have also been through a lot of growth. 

Jun had a training period of 7 years and almost debuted 3 times which must have been incredibly hard. But I am glad because he is now here with these 4 boys who love him and he is definitely one of the best leaders I have seen. 

Jun also has this like unique sense of humor and is just incredibly funny even though the members say he isn’t. Also if you are ever bored just look up “A.C.E Idol Class funny moments” because he’s in almost every single one of them and they are hysterical. Also... “Butter” 

Donghun is also just incredibly talented. His vocals are some of my favorites, ever. His vocals are so full and warm and they just make me feel comfortable? yeah I guess that’s right. 

This boy is so freaking funny and sometimes just downright savage towards the other members, he always makes me laugh and smile. Also he is my main bias wrecker in A.C.E. 

Wow is my bias in A.C.E (and my ult) and one of the best dancers I have ever seen. It’s just so fascinating to watch his body move and he does it with so much emotion. If the dance is agressive, he radiates angry energy. If the dance is sensual the way his body moves is smooth and sexy. 

He used to be quite shy and awkward when A.C.E first debuted but like it’s so nice to see him coming out of his shell. He’s been my bias since the beginning (I’ve stanned since debut) and I’ve seen him grow. His vocals have improved sooo much over the years and his raps have been getting better and better and he is one of the best in the game but people don’t know about them. 

Byeongkwan hi, this man is a triple fucking threat. He is the type of man who excels at everything he tries. It’s so cool watching him perform because of his talent and his stage presence is insane. It’s so surprissing to me that he isn’t more famous or popular. 

He also is just a big sweetie like wow he’s so sweet and always tries to do the best for Choice which is awesome. Also crop tops. 

Chan Kang Yuchan. I was surprised hearing his vocals. i was not expecting that baby to have such a deep full beautiful voice. His personality is just so incredibly bright and sweet. He’s such an amazing mood maker and is also incredibly funny. 

Chan is just the type of person you want to hug and protect and take care of. Maybe pinch his cheeks a little. 

This post is way too long. I could talk even more about why they need to be appreciated and why they deserve all the love in the freaking universe. But I’m stopping here. 

In conclusion, my mental state hasn’t been the best of late and A.C.E have made me smile through a lot of shit which is really awesome and I am very greatful for that. I wish they would get more recognition because they are genuinely one of the most well rounded groups I have seen and I have seen a lot of groups. 

Please shower them with love and affection and please keep a lookout for A.C.E and their future releases and projects. 

[ts1989fanatic]

TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

[superman86to99]

Superman #82 (October 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The climax of this 19-part storyline, the entire "Death and Return of Superman" saga, and seven years of long-ass plotlines. And it only took this blog a mere six years and six months to get here! PREVIOUSLY: After Superman’s death, five different Supermen popped up to reclaim the mantle, some more convincingly than others. The front-runner, the Cyborg Superman, kinda ruled himself out of the competition when he nuked out a whole city and replaced it with a giant engine. Now the other would-be Supermen converge in that place...

The Last Son of Krypton/Eradicator finally arrives on Engine City, having set off from the Fortress of Solitude two weeks ago. We noted back then that he suddenly looked like an old man, but he's back to Superman's age now. If this storyline had gone on any longer, he would ended up Benjamin Buttoning himself into a grumpy, ultra-violent baby.

Superboy also flies in from Metropolis. It's the fourth time he makes the Metropolis-Coast City trip in a few days (not counting the time he got a ride on a missile), so he's gotta be pretty bored of it by now.

Steel, last seen getting crushed by some giant cogs, emerges from the bowels of Engine City with his armor in tatters but his body intact. Dude’s a tough nut to crack.

Supergirl and the powerless Man in Black continue making their way through Engine City. Supergirl's like "Wanna step out and let those of us with powers handle this one, chief?" but the Man in Black ain't having it. Wow, that's pretty heroic. Maybe... maybe he's actually the real Superman?! Nah, that's crazy.

And Green Lantern Hal Jordan is also there, because this whole issue takes place on top of the ashes of his old city and childhood memories and all. We see the end of his fight with Mongul from Green Lantern #46.

The Cyborg watches as the Super-People invade his fortress from his control room, but he's a glass half full kind of guy, so he's choosing to focus on the fact that he (apparently) gets to kill Superman again.

After the Eradicator joins the party and the Cyborg reveals his true identity, the Man in Black finds himself in the awkward position of having to team up with one of Superman’s worst villains (the one who wanted to turn Earth into Krypton) to fight a good guy driven crazy by space travel (and who once looked like Johnny-5). It's only after the Eradicator goes on a two-page exposition dump about how he brought Superman back to life that the Man in Black goes "alright, guess you're cool".

The Man in Black and the Eradicator follow the Cyborg to the center of Engine City, where a giant chunk of kryptonite powers the entire fortress. The combined powers of the Eradicator's Eradicator-ness and the Man in Black's punching (OK, mostly the first thing) seem to be winning -- but then, in a desperate move, the Cyborg shoots a blast of concentrated kryptonite at the Man in Black. The Eradicator, however, heroically jumps in front of the blast...

...which has the unexpected side effect of restoring the Man in Black's Superman powers, allowing him to dispatch the Cyborg with a swift "broosh". What's a "broosh"? You know, a "broosh":

After Supergirl uses her convenient clothes-shifting powers on the Man in Black's costume, it only takes one second of him in the classic red and blue tights to convince everyone that HOLY CRAP HE'S THE REAL SUPERMAN AND HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD! (Side note: I like how Green Lantern goes "We'll mop up here! Not like I have anything better to do, what with all my friends being dead and stuff. Haha. I-I’m okay, seriously.")

It's him! It really is him. I knew it all along. Never doubted it.

Character-Watch:

The Eradicator is this issue's real MVP. His whole arc has been about slowly turning him from an emotionless robot into a sentient being through his interactions with people (Lois, Steel, even Loose Cannon and Guy Gardner), and it pays off when he jumps in front of that kryptonite blast yelling "I WON'T LET YOU DIE [AGAIN]!".

Also, when he tells Superman "We have always been linked, you and I", that's true. While their psychic connection influenced Superman negatively for a while (the Day of the Krypton Man saga), it looks like it also worked in the other direction and some of Superman's goodness rubbed off on him. By the way, it might be a stretch but the climactic shot of the kryptonite blast always reminded me of the Day of the Krypton Man's climactic shot, with Superman finally overcoming the Eradicator’s influence with Pa Kent's help.

Anyway, sorry, Superboy and Steel. The Eradicator had the best sacrifice scene in this storyline, hands down. Of course, they eventually brought him back again and turned him into a lapdog for the Cyborg and then Zod, but let's enjoy his dignified retirement while it lasts.

Plotline-Watch:

I'm not kidding when I say that this issue represents the convergence of seven freaking years of storylines. Let's recap (strap on, this is gonna be long):

John Byrne's Man of Steel #1 (1986) introduced Superman's birth matrix, the flying artificial womb that took him from Krypton to Earth. When young Clark sees the matrix for the first time he feels weak, because there's some kryptonite lodged into it. In Superman #1, a few months later, we find out that a crazy scientist stole the matrix and used it to build Metallo, so Superman decides to leave it suspended in orbit to prevent it from being used against him again. Three years later, the distraught mind of a disembodied astronaut called Hank Henshaw jumped into the matrix, and he made himself a tiny little spaceship from its technology, then sped off into deep space. Eventually, he went mad, hooked up with Mongul, and used the DNA information he got from the birth matrix to make himself a half-Kryptonian body. Hence: the Cyborg Superman. (As for that kryptonite rock, it ended up in Lex Luthor's hands... soon to be "hand".)

Also during Byrne's run, Superman briefly visited a "pocket" universe inhabited by a Silver Age-type Superboy, who died by the end of that storyline. Months later, the pocket Earth had turned into a hellhole thanks to three Kryptonian criminals. They too died by the end of that storyline... by Superman's hand. Feeling guilty over killing those killers, Superman exiled himself in space, was captured by Mongul's Warworld, and found an ancient egg-shaped relic created by his ancestors: the Eradicator. Superman brought the Eradicator back to Earth and it built him a nice Fortress of Solitude, but it also took over his mind and turned him into the emotionless Krypton Man -- who became an entity of its own after Superman overcame it. After Superman's death, the Fortress' robots rebooted the Eradicator so he could follow his “preserve Kryptonian life” directive and restore Superman back to life, but he got a little confused and thought HE was Superman. Hence: the Last Son of Krypton.

Another concept introduced by Byrne was the idea that Kryptonian DNA is too complex to be duplicated by Earth scientists, which led to the creation of Bizarro. Byrne's World of Krypton miniseries also established that Kryptonians used clones as spare parts to extend their lifetimes, and the conflict over clone rights literally tore the planet apart. So when Superman learned of a cloning facility near Metropolis called Project Cadmus, he immediately felt uneasy about it. After his death, Cadmus got hold of his body so they could create a replacement, but, again, you can't clone a Kryptonian... so they simply created an approximation of Superman's powers and features using human DNA. Hence: Superboy.

As for Steel, he's just Steel. Hence: Steel. Incidentally, if you’re wondering why his armor has been reduced to just some metal shorts by the end of the issue, here’s the answer. Pretty self-explanatory.

The only major plotline left dangling after this issue (aside from Dr. Stratos, of course) is Lex's own death/return/cloning misadventure, but the Super-Squad will deal with that in a big way pretty soon. Oh, and then there's the mess they left for Green Lantern, but that's another creative team's problem. (SHAMELESS PLUG: Follow my new Green Lantern '94 to '04 blog to see how that mess turned out.)

Believe it or not, there's even MORE stuff to talk about in this issue, so don’t miss the great Don Sparrow's section after the jump:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

In the first place I have to say that this issue is an all-time favourite of mine, probably in my top three of this era of comics we’ve been so dutifully covering.  The excitement at my local comic shop for this issue was incredible, and already being the Superman fan that I was, I felt like I was on the ground floor. [Max: I also remember the excitement when I first saw this issue in my cousin’s hands after he showed it to me the day he bought it... then didn’t let me touch it, so I read it years later.]

We start with the cover, and I got the deluxe edition, with the chromium cover.  Back when this issue came out, I had a love/hate relationship with Image comics.  I wasn’t interested in the dark & gritty characters like Spawn and the like, and generally thought the Image books favoured flash over substance and storytelling.  BUT, man, did the colouring and paper they used at Image ever look cool!  So I was a bit torn about DC using a “gimmicky” feature like this—it looked amazing, but I also felt it was leaning a little far in the direction of sizzle over steak.  But I didn’t mind that much, since this had been such a great story to this point.  Aside from the metallic 3D look of the cover, the drawing is great, too.  It was the first look at the returned Superman in the full suit, and also with the long hair present.  DC must have thought that the long hair was a gamble on some level (even though we’d seen it for months in the actual issues) because they hid it from the covers for so long. [Max: This was also the cover they used in both the Spanish and Mexican editions I have, so that’s what I went with for the top of this post. The “normal” cover looks like a historic oddity to me.]

Inside the issue, we jump in with another splash page—there are a lot of these, and it really calls back Superman #75, as most of the pages have one main image, with a few small panels laid overtop.   This one features another interpretation of the Eradicator, with short, non-spiky hair—it’s interesting to see these characters reinterpreted week to week.  This opening page also commits the unpardonable sin of demanding that we stop reading the issue until AFTER we read Green Lantern #46.  Being a naïve 13 year old when I read this issue, I of course complied with the demands of DC editorial, and read Green Lantern first, not realizing it has a near identical plot (albeit from a different point of view), right down to the “broosh” at the end, very much spoiling what is about to come in Superman #82.  I remember being pretty steamed that my first glimpse of a returned Superman didn’t come in a Superman book.  While I appreciate the coordination, I do find the caption misleading.

Also similar to Superman #75—it’s very hard for me not to talk about every panel or page, because this whole book is just gorgeous.  The badassery from the last issue continues into this one, as Superman with his tough-guy attitude and giant gun is pretty cool.  One quibble I have with this team is that when they bury Superman’s eye’s in shadow, it can have a sinister or tired look, which I don’t think is the intention.  Some panels it’s more prominent than others, but in one panel on page 6 where it makes Superman look pretty rough, and a lot less handsome.  We get more big gun Superman later when he starts taking it to Engine City in general, knowing it is connected to the Cyborg.

The Cyborg taking different shapes is done pretty effectively here, particularly when he forms himself out of what must be a lead-like metal to accuse Superman of a bunch of nutty stuff. The reveal of the Kryptonite heart of engine city is very well done, in part because of Eradicator’s bulging red eyes.  It is a bit weird to imagine a lipless robot saying “mmm, hmm” though.

We get another great full-page splash as the Eradicator goes all-out in his effort to defeat the Cyborg.  The captions here always confused me though, where it says “(The Eradicator)  was built to kill…the other (the rocket that brought Superman to Earth, which the Cyborg used to create his new body) to bear new life.  The victor would be obvious.”  But to me, it’s not obvious.  I would think that in a Superman comic, a vessel of LIFE would be the big winner over ancient weaponry, but I think the caption intends the inverse. I guess it’s saying a gun would beat a baby crib? It’s one of those passages that sounds cool, until you think about it.  Or think about it excessively, as I clearly have. [Max: To be fair, a gun WOULD beat a baby crib. It would kick that baby crib’s ass.]

Superman’s haymaker knocking off the Cyborg’s jaw is an incredible visual, and there’s a subtle set-up for the great cape visual call-back that comes later.

The entire sequence of the Eradicator taking the blast of Kryptonite is well done, in particular the panel when we see Superman through the vanishing Eradicator.  I’m a bit confused as to just how the Kryptonite suction thing works here—the Kryptonite meteor is shrinking and shrinking, but nothing is attached to it except for that one hose.  

Jurgens and Breeding do a great job of showing the physical cost of Green Lantern going toe to toe with Mongul.  It also sets up for my all-time favourite Superboy quote, one I think might be seen on this site from time to time in meme form, “Check it out! The Lantern looks so totaled it makes me want to hurl!”.  This entire saga has been worth it, to get to that line.  Just magnificent. [Max: I think Hal went evil because of that one comment.]

The glimpse of the burnt-out husk of the Eradicator is also incredibly well drawn—and painful looking—but even by the end of this story he seems a lot more recovered.

The scene of the returned-to-full-power Superman decking the Cyborg is a stand-up-and-cheer moment, and I love the detail that Superman is holding the cape for this whole scene. It’s interesting that as the Cyborg starts to get damaged in the fight, we see how little organic material there is. Metal seems to poke through the skin on his face, as if only a thin sheet were laid over the metal.  and when Superman punches right through him, there’s really no blood or anything, just a dry, cracked crater.  I had thought, up until this issue that the cybernetic parts were beside real skin and bones (as if to replace the damaged parts of Superman’s body from his fight with Doomsday), but this issue seems to posit that he’s all robot, with only a veneer of Kryptonian flesh overtop.  

The normally merciful Superman is pretty blood-thirsty here, vibrating his arm fully in the knowledge it might kill Henshaw (who helpfully reminds us, he’s survived before).  [Max: That moment kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I think Jurgens himself felt uneasy with it too. One of the highlights of his recent “Rebirth” run was that Superman deliberately decides to jail Hank instead of killing him to at least give him a chance to be rehabilitated, which would be cool to see happen one day.] I love the little glimpse we get of the restored, and re-costumed Superman before the full reveal, and as a character moment, I love that he would think to show gratitude for the heroes who filled in when Superman was dead.

The next few pages are pure joy, as it’s such a treat to see our Superman soaring around in the sunshine, even with the new Tarzan haircut.  It’s such a show of restraint that they didn’t pack a reunion with Lois into this issue, instead allowing a different superteam to tell that story, which very much deserves its own issue.  Overall, though, I just remember feeling such a sense of joy, and relief that Superman was back, and back to full power. [Max: SPOILERS: And then some...]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I do love this era of comics before swearing (or even censored swearing) was a thing, because they have the weirdest phrases. John Byrne would always have characters saying “blast” instead of “damn” to an absolutely ridiculous degree.  In this issue, I don’t know for sure if “crud” is a stand-in for another word, but it does strike me as downright odd for Green Lantern to use it as a noun against Mongul.  The concept of “a crud” just amuses me, though I suppose it could be meant in the same vein as “scum” or something.

Is it me, or does Jeb look like Ricardo Montalbon here? [Max: Oh crud, I forgot Jeb was in this issue! Jeb was in this issue, everyone.]

I love they don’t even give the Cyborg a moment to be cool.  Just as he’s about to reveal his true identity in a villainous speech he gets clocked by Superboy, in one of my favourite moments with the character (but not my very favourite, as we’ve seen.)  I also like the low-level burn that Henshaw assumes that Superman must already know who he is, but Superman’s like, nope.

I do like that this issue goes to great lengths to explain that Superman can’t just keep returning from the dead, even going so far as to say it would never work again.  My pet theory is that the Eradicator’s Resurrection Matrix only worked because Pa Kent’s spiritual journey in Adventures of Superman #500 really did happen. [Max: I might be misremembering, but I think the upcoming issue of Action pretty much confirms that.]

I’m glad to see him recovered, but I kinda think Eradicator spoiled the moment a little with his observation about Green Lantern.

[Max: Blast it, Sparrow! You’ve done it again!]

[ourladyoftheironmasque]

A Cross-Time Caper

When Hawk Moth's machinations inadvertently lead to the akumatization of Ladybug, it will take a bunny, a butterfly, a monkey, two ladybugs and three cats to set the world to rights again.

Chapter One of Three 3,564 words

*

It was all still very theatrical, of course. He bowed low, head nearly even with his hips, one arm bent across his stomach, the other extended up and out. The broad grin permanently etched on his face these days was the perfect compliment to his exaggerated manners. “A pleasure as always, Ladybug, but I’m afraid I must be going.” Another paw pad on his ring vanished, leaving him with two. Chat Noir straightened, and drew his baton.

Two weeks ago, this would have gone down differently.

Probably, he would have bowed over her hand. His performance against the day’s akuma victim always informed his flirting. When he was pleased with himself, he was the old world gentleman. He thought it charming to bow over her hand, kiss her knuckles and call her m’lady. Ever hopeful good work would earn him romance, he’d resist leaving her until his ring demanded it. (Or until she teased him so much that he lost his nerve.)

If he had embarrassed himself during the fight, then he’d be defensive. All sass and unearned bravado, the sort that a girl with self-respect just couldn’t let stand in a boy who couldn’t back up his trash talk. He’d call her Bugaboo just to hear her yell at him. That was his other favorite persona—the little boy on the playground who didn’t know how to tell a girl he liked her, so he antagonized her instead. Sometimes she answered his absurdity with cleverness, but more often than not she’d cross her arms and feign annoyance. Chat Noir always wanted attention, but when he was disappointed in himself, he usually tried to goad her into being upset with him, too. A good job meant looking for rewards he wouldn’t find and his easy acceptance of their absence; when he performed poorly, he’d force a scolding out of her if he had to. With hindsight, she’d let him have his way too much. When Chat Noir went fishing for a set down, his partner should have been the one propping him up.

Now she was Ladybug, always.

And she wasn’t the clever one anymore.

Giving up on Adrien and watching him ride off into the sunset with Kagami should have ended with Marinette climbing atop Luka’s white horse. He was sweet, and she liked him. Maybe he was a little too punk rock and anarchy for a beautiful house and three children at the end of their story, but it’d still be a good story. They would be happy together. The disparity of their feelings had left their friendship unbalanced, but if they were together, then Marinette could reciprocate. She could appreciate and support and respect him like he always had her.

But.

Life never wants to follow the path it should.

Her heart, Marinette learned, was interested in hopeless pining exclusively. As for her stomach, well, that started doing flip-flops for Chat Noir. And although her tongue was just as adept at barking out a plan to defeat the an akuma as ever, once that was finished so was her ability to string together a coherent sentence.

Ladybug wished she could say it was because Chat Noir had matured a lot recently. Because he had! Chat Noir stepped up during the battle against Miracle Queen and it turned out quick thinking and strategy agreed with him. There had been more equal division of labor in the past two weeks than the entire preceding year combined. Just in time, too. Without Master Fu to guide them, they were on their own. Ladybug could not have shouldered the burden of the Miracle Box and come up with all the plans and always be ready to wind her yo-yo around Chat Noir’s ankles to yank him out of the line of fire. Saving Paris had never been a game to him, exactly, but he’d enjoyed it in a way Ladybug couldn’t. To don a mask and smack a monster with a stick was how Chat Noir blew off steam. It was his escape from stress. Now even he could not deny the magnitude of the job before them.

The identities of their entire team had been compromised.

The loss of Master Fu’s memory was bad enough, but it also meant they lost their access to Guardian lore and the Grimoire.

The only council they had left was their kwamis, and transformation cut them off from Tikki and Plagg. Ladybug and Chat Noir had always been fond of using the two of us against the world as a rallying cry, but now it was true. And Chat Noir was pulling his weight.

Ladybug wished she could say she fell in love with him because of that. It would have been poetic, somehow. It would have been worthy of him.

But no.

Marinette had a good cry over Adrien—a dozen of them, really—binged ice cream and terrible rom coms with Alya, heard some variation of if he doesn’t see how special you are then he doesn’t deserve you from literally everyone she’d ever met—most in good faith, though the Chloe version was excruciating in it’s backhanded compliments and the Lila version was pretty obviously designed to make her feel worse—and bought a new diary. New pages for a new era. In general, Marinette did her absolute best to put her feelings for Adrien behind her.

If Adrien and Kagami made each other happy, then that was all that mattered, right? Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Marinette did her absolute best to put her feelings for Adrien behind her and they went absolutely nowhere because feelings don’t go away when you ask them nicely. But the loyalty to Adrien that had once made the idea of dating someone else feel so relentlessly wrong? That did leave. It turned out the world was filled with people as cute and smart and funny and kind and gentle and charming and vulnerable and brave and good as Adrien. Her heart scamped right up to Chat Noir and went, Well! How about this one? Isn’t he exactly who you’ve always wanted?

And when she tilted her head and squinted, he kinda was.

Only...she didn’t have to squint, actually.

Or tilt anything.

Looking back, Ladybug had probably been half in love with Chat Noir all along. Her dislike of the cute nicknames and attempts to steal kisses had simply been part of the mask. Another means of distancing Ladybug, Ultra-Competent Hero of Paris from Ladybug, Regular Teenager Making Up How to Save the World As She Went. For a while, she even fooled herself! Before Felix, she might have said Chat Noir pushed her boundaries and ignored her comfort zones. But after? The contrast between her playful partner’s irrepressible flirting and the actions of someone who pressed onwards without caring about her feelings could not be sharper.

Looking back, Ladybug had definitely been completely in love with Chat Noir all along. When viewed through the lens of having loved him, their year fighting side by side made so much more sense. It was her own love that she called upon to conquer Dark Cupid’s spell. When Chat Noir wondered if he would have had a shot in a world without Adrien, Ladybug couldn’t imagine one—but Oblivio soon stripped her of her memories, and photographic proof suggested that in a world where she was at least ignorant of Adrien, she would have fallen into Chat Noir’s arms immediately. And then there was Chat Blanc’s timeline. Ladybug could never know what really happened in that twisted world. Chat Blanc had babbled a lot about them being in love, but in the moment, Ladybug had thought nothing of it. It was simply his one track mind run off the rails. But from the safety of distance and a repaired timeline, she started to wonder if Chat Blanc had been more lucid than he let on. Maybe something had happened between them…

And ended with the boy she loved akumatized, Paris a half-submerged hellscape and herself dead.

Rationally, she knew Ladybug and Chat Noir could go get an ice cream at Andre’s together without triggering the end of the world. There must be a step in between their love and the destruction of the city they were charged with protecting. It was a moot point. He had a girlfriend now.

(Sometimes, she was confident she could steal him away if she tried. He’d wanted Ladybug for so long. Surely if she just apologized and told him how she felt, he’d forget all about other girls. But doing that would make her a bad person, wouldn’t it?)

(Other times, it wasn’t right and wrong that stopped her, but the fear that he didn’t care anymore. That Chat Noir would say no, and Ladybug would have to face that she’d lost her chance with him forever.)

“Pleasure’s yours, I mean, nine. Mine. I mean… See you next time, Chat Noir.”

At least the precarious nature of their transformations meant Ladybug was never trapped in a long, awkward conversation with Chat Noir. When she made a fool of herself in front of Adrien, that was agony for hours. Chat Noir only had two pad paws left, and her earrings were not faring any better. He was leaving, and she wouldn’t see him again until they were in the thick of a fight.

He was kind enough to never question her sudden tendency to get tongue-tied. Ladybug knew he noticed. His banter came slower, like he had to make a mental adjustment when her confidence disappeared.  

It was in that beat of silence—the one that used to not be there, but hung over her like the blade of a guillotine while Chat Noir cautiously decided how to respond—a brand new opportunity for chaos that two weeks ago would not have existed, but did today—when she wished a black hole would open up and swallow her whole

that one did.

Sort of.

“Minibug! Kitten Noir!”

It wasn’t a black hole, but the white-blue void of the Burrow. Bunnyx hung half out, arms making sweeping gestures to urge them closer. “It’s go time!”

As far as holes to swallow you up so that you don’t have to confront your own embarrassment went, the Burrow was kind of a lousy one if Chat Noir was invited. “We’re about to transform back!”

“I came prepared, Minibug. I’m sure you both did, too, with snacks for your kwamis.”

Chat Noir tossed Ladybug an uneasy smile. “Bunnyx wouldn’t be here just for chit-chat. We’d better go.”

(He had lately developed an irritating tendency to take his job seriously.)

(The love and support of his girlfriend was so freaking good for him that it was a little grating.)

Bunnyx’s security measures were, unsurprisingly, a pair of bowls slapped over their heads before she ushered them blindly into the Burrow. Well. Ladybug more or less knew to expect that. Chat Noir yelped. It was good to hear his facade drop, even if just for a second. He had come into his own recently, but underneath it all, he was the same pratfalling goofball he’d always been.

“Spots off.”

“Claws in.”

Familiarity with her purse made any awkward groping unnecessary. Producing a macaron for Tikki was as natural as breathing. For her part, Tikki seemed to be in awe of what she could see. Marinette heard a tiny “Wow” pass Tikki’s lips and from further away, de-transformed Chat Noir trying to placate Plagg. There was a job to be done. No rest for lazy cats, and no time to explore for Tikki.

“Tikki, Spots on!”

“Plagg, Claws out!”

The Burrow was full of secrets. Bunnyx monitored untold timelines, ushering their lives along the best possible path. Although she had heard Chat Noir transform and knew their identities were safe for another day, Ladybug did not dare remove the bowl. Bunnyx would tell her when it was safe to look.

“That—”

“Don’t!”

“—is the mini-est Minibug I’ve ever seen.”

Ladybug tilted the rim of the bowl back. Bunnyx was glaring daggers at a thoroughly unconcerned Chat Noir. A taller Chat Noir. His shoulders were deliciously broad, and his mop of blond hair was not a smidge neater. What should have been absurd—a grown man in a skin tight cat costume, bell and all—simply wasn’t. He stood with the complete assurance that he belonged in that outfit, and so it looked natural. Right.  

Ladybug eyes darted to the boy Bunnyx had brought with them. He’d also tipped his bowl back, and was staring dumbfounded at his future self.

“I mean it,” Chat Plus Sombre said, looking thoughtfully at Ladybug, “What are you? Thirteen?”

Ladybug bristled. So he was a grown-up, so what? That didn’t mean she was useless. “Almost fifteen.”

“She may be a newbie,” Bunnyx interjected, “but she’s good.”

Chat Plus Sombre held his hands up in surrender. “No need to remind me how fast Ladybug picked up the ins and outs of being a superhero. I’ve been playing catch-up since the day we met. I’m just surprised you went this young, Bunnyx. Isn’t the goal to pick her up five minutes before she quit?”

Quit.

Quit.

The casual way the word rolled off his tongue, as if Ladybug quitting could ever be normal, made her blood run cold. It was one thing if she wasn’t needed anymore. She’d happily hang up her yo-yo if Paris was safe. But it sounded like she’d left Chat Plus Sombre high and dry, reduced to plucking partners out of the timestream in order to keep on fighting.

She was going to quit.

Bunnyx treated the revelation like it was normal, too. “For you. They’re gonna take a quick detour. I found something else in the timestream that needs fixing. We’ll get back on track once Minibug and Kitten Noir have accomplished their mission.”

Chat Plus Sombre frowned at Chat Noir. “I don’t remember being tagged for one of these.”

“One of what?” Chat Noir cried. “And where’s future Ladybug?”

“We can’t tell you,” Bunnyx answered. “It’s bad enough you saw him as it is.”

Chat Plus Sombre shrugged. “Nah, it’s fine. I don’t remember this at all. He’s definitely gonna get mindwiped.”

“And her?”

Crossing his arms, Chat Plus Sombre acceded the point to Bunnyx. “Okay, since I don’t know my little lady is also gonna get mindwiped, I’ll be infuriatingly obtuse. That suit you better?” It didn’t appear to placate Bunnyx, but Chat Plus Sombre had evidently compromised as far as he was willing. “My Ladybug—by which I mean the Ladybug of my time, attach no further significance—is fine. She’s taken a temporary leave of absence. We—she planned it in advance. No Guardian mindwipe activated. She’s coming back. But since Paris still needs a Ladybug, we take one from the timestream as needed. There’s a gap of about three years between when she made the plan and when she needed it that we usually swipe a Minibug from.”

That felt...reckless. Tentatively, Ladybug said, “I thought time is delicate.”

“It is,” Bunnyx answered. There was a slight air of scolding.

“But,” Chat Plus Sombre interjected, “you’re not replaceable, and the earrings are too powerful to sub out even if just anyone could do the job.”

Ladybug looked away, embarrassingly flattered.

“We’ve wasted enough time,” Bunnyx declared. “Better get back on track.”

“She says that,” Chat Plus Sombre added merrily, “but it really doesn’t matter. It’s time travel. She’s gonna drop you in the same nanosecond no matter how much time we spend in here.”

“You can only say that because you haven’t faded from existence.”

Chat Plus Sombre flailed. “Don’t you dare listen to her, Minibug and Mini Me! I’ve stopped existing loads of times! I’m an expert at it! You just—whoosh!” He snapped his fingers. “Stop.”

So the new and improved Serious Chat Noir was not a step away from pointless self-sacrifice. His adult self sounded like it was half-badge of honor, half-hilarious to disappear. “It isn’t funny,” Ladybug said, feeling vaguely faint.

Cat Plus Sombre softened. “You liar, you’re not almost fifteen. That was pure fourteen-and-a-half.”

Ladybug crossed her arms. “Like you can tell. You thought I was thirteen a minute ago.”

“You had a bowl on your head! It’s not fair to judge my level of knowing you-ness by what I thought when you had a bowl on your head. I demand a re-do. Get me another Minibug, Bunnyx.”

“No. Stop.” Bunnyx inhaled. “Here is what is going to happen: they are going to do their mission. We are going to wait here. If they fail, we dip back into time and try again. We’ll do it as many times as it takes for them to get the win. Then, we’re going to go back to our time for the mission we were supposed to be doing. I will not be taking questions.”

Chat Plus Sombre held up a finger. “Not a question. Comment: We broke Mini Me.”

Bunnyx fisted her hands in her hair. “You said you don’t remember this!”

“I don’t. He’s just not having any fun with this, so I have concerns.”

It was a good point. Chat Noir had been awfully quiet. “Can you give us a minute?” Ladybug asked.

Chat Plus Sombre gestured to the Burrow. Yes, it was surprisingly large, but there was no privacy to be found. “Not really.”

“Pretend.” Ladybug shooed Bunnyx and Chat Plus Sombre to the far side of the ...what even was this? Plane of existence? Pocket dimension? Chat Noir sank to the floor, knees up and put the bowl back on his head.

“Kitty, what’s wrong?”

“Him. Me.”

Well, that was just crazy. “You realize you grow up to be Doctor Who, right? Pulling companions from time and space. You should be excited!”

“I’m trying so hard to not be that guy anymore. Looks like it doesn’t even matter.”

“What’s wrong with that guy?” Ladybug happened to like that guy a lot. So much so that seeing him curled in on himself like this was a complete crisis, disastrous enough to forestall all stuttering.

“Were you even paying attention to the way he talks about you?”

“I don’t like how me quitting seems normal to him, but I guess I just don’t understand why we’re both going to think it makes sense someday.”

Chat Noir’s shoulders hunched. “Thought so. He keeps calling you his and you don’t even notice. I stopped doing that.”

“I noticed you.”

“I know the nicknames didn’t mean anything to you, but they mattered to me.”

She should tell him that she missed the nicknames. She wanted to be his lady, his Bugaboo, his everything. But that wasn’t fair to him. He had a girlfriend now.

“Are you really fourteen and a half?”

That it was even a question to Chat Noir struck Ladybug with unexpected force. That level of specificity into their ages was so far into Secret Identity territory that they’d never gone there. Chat Noir didn’t know how old she was. But his adult self could pin it down within a span of months. Chat Plus Sombre knew her better than Ladybug had ever thought she and Chat Noir could realistically know each other.

Ladybug didn’t answer, but they both knew she didn’t need to.

“You quit, and he goes through time looking for different yous instead of just getting a new partner.”

“That’s not his fault,” Ladybug protested. “If I don’t give up the earrings, what else can he do?”

“It isn’t fair. I’m trying, Ladybug. I really am.”

She laid her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “I know you are. You’ve matured so much. I’ve been really impressed these past couple of weeks. You’ve been awesome, and you shouldn’t look at him and feel like you’re not. Because he’s awesome. You’re still a superhero when you grow up, and a really good one. I’m jealous. I don’t grow up to be Doctor Who.”

Chat Noir eased the bowl back. “Let’s just do the mission and go home.”

Probably, Bunnyx and Chat Plus Sombre couldn’t avoid overhearing the conversation, but the polite thing to do would have been feign ignorance. Yet the moment Chat Noir announced he wanted to get it done and go home (and probably get an ego boost from his girlfriend), the illusion of privacy was shattered.

“That sounded like ready to roll to me!”

“Cross-Time Caper is go!” Chat Plus Sombre cocked one hidden eyebrow. “When are they going?”

Ladybug pulled Chat Noir to his feet and tossed his bowl aside. They followed Bunnyx to the window she beckoned them towards. It was Paris, of course, the beloved skyline marred by a whirling, writhing mass of red hovering in the air near Notre Dame. Bunnyx zoomed in.

The red was…ladybugs? Ladybug bit her lip. Those were her Miraculous Ladybugs of creation, but they weren’t repairing magical damage and disappearing. They were hard at work, diligently crafting something in the sky.

Bunnyx scrolled down, and on the street stood Chat Noir, (a third Chat Noir) staring up at the ladybugs, his face streaked with tears.

“Oh,” Chat Plus Sombre breathed. “This I remember.”

She had a feeling she knew the answer, but Ladybug asked anyway. “What’s going on?”

Grim, he said exactly what she suspected he would: “You’ve been akumatized, m’lady.”

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

Truth or Dare? 1/3 probably

much of the details about him in this fic is from things b has said in interviews, on periscope, twitch, twitter... see if you can guess what is true vs details/things i made up. other things, like most of his friends being girls (at least as a kid and teen) i don't think he's ever stated outright but i consider so damn obvious as you learn about him eg the bullying, his best friend in 8th grade was a girl. hopefully, all the things i remember him saying he's actually said and i didn't dream it/imagine it haha. also i love this fic so fucking much if i may say so. one of my faves, to be a braggart. in this universe, he never got introduced to spence or ryan, hence no mentions of them or panic! and him going off to arizona for cosmetology

tag list @greatheromuffinpalace @paypoulterer1 @anyh0w @anobsessioncalled @panicsinning @queerbrendon @prettyoddfiction @iwriteficsnottragediesladies @uriellybrendon @pageoftheclouds @brendonuriesbubblyass @ier0-must-die @itriedallthenamesiwantedaretaken @xfoxtalynx @spacesams00 @satanspuppet-x @1-800-hallelujah @ryrostan @tacobelltylerr @urie-dreams [just message me to be added or taken off the tag list]

----

You're watching Aladdin with Brendon, after Alice in Wonderland but before Bambi because you don't want to wind up crying yet. He's totally like Flower and Bambi. Loves flowers, flirty and doe-eyed, for starters. He's an Aladdin too, and is singing along with you as you're cuddled up on your bed with him, him absentmindedly playing with, brushing your hair. He stopped styling it a while ago, but you love having your hair played with, scalp massaged, neck too, as much as he does... Even that has arousal spreading, tickling over you.

You don't have class tomorrow, but he has a cosmetology one in the morning. He's still excited about not having someone telling him to get to bed though, and you're too relaxed, and uh... you like how you feel around him too much, how simple things, touches kind of turn you on, to suggest he get to sleep or leave your room. Besides, your roommate went home for the weekend. And these blankets and pajamas are comfy. You wind up getting into A Whole New World though: dramatic actions and singing, batting lashes at each other, giggling, pretending the bed is a magic carpet like the dorks you two are...

You offer your lap for his head to get pets in once the song ends... You love touching his hair. Watching his lashes, eyes, lips in the television light. Hearing his breathing deepening, his sighs, a couple mmms when you stroke the nape of his neck, tug his hair, scritch his scalp. You've only known him a couple months, but... whoo boy. Too bad he's gayer than the day is long. And kind of has a boyfriend from his program, George. Well, a friend with benefits.

“Truth or dare, B?” you ask when the movie ends, but neither of you move.

“'M sleepy from all those pets, y/n, so for once, I'm going with truth.”

“Were you like this as a kid? Was it musicals and wanting to do cosmetology and stuff back then too? Like not being... being... different. From how boys were supposed to be.”

He chuckles. “Pretty much. Did skateboarding for years, and some soccer, but that was pretty much the extent of the manly shit. Well, the heavy metal too. And lots of people did pot. But mostly the kind of things people thought boys shouldn't do. Most of my friends were girls. Still are. Liked making people laugh, entertaining them. Gymnastics, dance; just messing around not pro. Did sets for the drama kids in high school. I fit in with some guys, mostly chill stoner or art types, guys who weren't straight, but not many. Sometimes I had to fake it to get by with guys, if it even worked. But mostly stuff like the dress up box.”

“What'd you dress up as?”

“Different musical roles, like Maria and Cosette, Jean Valjean. I remember being about five and wrapping curtains around myself like a dress and singing Sound of Music. Cheerleader with the miniskirt and all from my older sister Kara. Uh... pirate, cowboy, or cowgirl. Elvis, Carly Simon, Gwen. Wanted to sound like her so bad. Beyonce. David Bowie in Labyrinth, without a proper wig though. And a few of the personas he had different eras too. Jareth was mixed up in a crush on him. Like I wasn't sure how much I wanted to play that role versus liked David... At twelve, with Jessica Alba, that was a lot clearer. Make up too, some wigs. Lots of my mom's clothes. I'm sure you can tell on that last one.” He still wears women's jeans now. And hoodies, shirts, a couple pairs of sneakers...

“Oh, a weird flower boy version of Rambo,” he laughs. “Like the headband, but my mom's blouse and jeans, a bouquet of flowers, heels, dad's sunglasses... Still have a picture of that one. And we have lots of home movies of stuff. Me being a lounge singer with a feather boa and gold dress... seducing my mom. Oh, shit, can't believe I just admitted that aloud. Anyway, there was firefighter, seamstress, servant, scuba diver, vet... Vampire, fairy, witch. Playing a mom or sister in plays, like sometimes one of my sisters would be the dad, I'd be the mom, or we'd be three sisters. Or they'd be the mom and dad and I'd be their baby. I remember one where I was pregnant—pillow and doll baby, haha—and Kyla was the pirate doctor helping me deliver on the ship. Or the damsel in distress being rescued by them. Or kidnapped by them. Or we had to save our mom, the queen, from a dragon or evil king.”

They were imaginative too! You're picturing them, little Brendon in these outfits, roles. So cute, and silly, and did you say cute? He must've been adorable, playful and an entertainer back then, too. He's done an open mic a few times and sings and plays at parties with friends. You've seen him do it last Saturday, nervous but eager to sing and play guitar, or keyboard. He said that music was his favourite hobby, that he loves doing it, especially for people, but you had no idea how deep it went.

“Me in my sister's gymnastic leotard, but over my shorts because she didn't want it so close to my crotch.”

The crotch part makes you think of it: if he wears... uh, panties too? The thought makes you flush and feel embarrassed. You haven't seen him in a dress or skirt either, but he used to wear those. You wonder if he still does and you just haven't seen it. You think they'd suit him for some reason. The lavender hoodie, the pink sneakers, plus a miniskirt? Denim, or black. God, you bet that he'd look even better, draw you to him more.

“Wish we had dress up stuff to play with here, B. Bet it was fun. And I bet you looked so cute.”

He gets up, but it's to turn on the lamp; the tv had gone dark. He bats his lashes. “Oh, I did.”

You both laugh as you throw a pillow at him. “Goofball. Don't ever let me tell you you still look cute, then. And that I actually would want to see you with a dress up box.”

“Truth or dare?” he asks. You'd forgotten how this started.

“Truth?” Neither is a safe bet, so you just go with what he went with to even it out.

“Would you want to see me dressed up? Like... in things here... of yours?”

Your breath catches. Are you that obvious? You nod, asking “Truth or dare?”

He grins. “Whattaya think, y/n? Dare.”

“M-maybe... uh... a skirt? On you, I mean?”

“That can be arranged.” He practically bounces over to your closet, sorts through, deciding on a long soft blue and lilac hippieish flowery one that goes to your ankles, a purple plaid one that comes to your knees but would be two to three inches shorter on him, and your denim one that's so short it would be a mini on him. You wear it with black tights or other pants it's so short. Really, he picked most of them; you only have two others. He holds them out one by one, then places them over his hips: “Which one would fit me best?”

You get flustered, because you want to see the denim one most, but worry it would be too short for him. The plaid one? It gives “naughty schoolgirl” vibes to boys and men, older pervs included, so you don't wear it much, even though it reminds you of a newly formed coven of witches stuck at a Catholic school for some reason (you blame The Craft). You wonder what'd look like on him. You bet he's worn skirt school uniforms before, and that he'd get cheesy with it, calling you Miss and asking hammily but flirtatiously about extra credit, asking you to teach him, maybe bending over... which not going to lie, you do want if it got sexily funny, but you know it couldn't mean anything.

He grins. "Warning ya, my legs are really hairy, so you might wanna go with the longest one. What can I say, I've got Jewish legs."

You snort. "Guess I've got Jewish legs too: my hair is a light brown, but there's lots of it below my knees. I stopped shaving now that it's November." You can't help wondering if he's dressed up for Hallowe'en in a girl's costume, or in drag, and what he'd look like; even some guys who are kind of sexist and homophobic do that for Hallowe'en, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary even outside of the gay bar you and he were let into a few times, because George knew the bouncer. Both of your first one, bar or gay bar.

"Oh, I bet I've got more than you," he jokes, and slides his pant leg up a bit, doing a "banananana" strip tease music thing, shaking his leg, making you both giggle.

"Go with the shortest one, B. Bet you'd look super sexy," you reply, hammily winking.

"No peeking!" he admonishes teasingly, hiding behind your closet door, but he pops his booty out and sways it before hiding again. His jeans quickly get flung towards you to him laughing, "Hey, you ever see that British film The Full Monty?"

"It's kinda tight on my ass, but loose on my hips. What can I say? I bring the booty. But your hips are more womanly than mine, alas," he sighs dramatically. “And your thighs are damn. Um. At least it covers my underwear. Pretty much.” He peeks out, excited. "Ready? I just wanna make sure you're prepared for my hairy ass legs, oh and my stunningly gorgeous ass."

"Pshaw, I know that that booty brings all the boys to your yard, you tramp." He's really a tease at that bar. Both guys his age and kind of older, but only one creep. He always drinks for free, gets you drinks too, and you alternately keep close and watch from afar and let him do his thing with said boys. He only talks with most, often dances, but if he likes the guy, the dancing goes beyond pg territory, kissing too, and he even went home with one of them.

[broke-n-bitchy]

Wicked Dreams

Part Two Warnings: Drinking, drug use, smoking, cursing  @triplehaitches​ @knightwhosaysnii​ @prettysureimgayxo​ @carmineharry​ The drive to Los Angeles was fucking terrible. I almost ripped my hair out, you try cramping into a single cab truck with four guys and all of your band equipment stuffed in the back. “Land, oh my god! Sweet, sweet land!” I praised as I was the first one to pretty much jump out while it was still rolling. We were stopped at the motel, it was about two hours before getting to our audition. “Oh, fuck off. My driving wasn’t that bad.” Alex responded with a roll of his eyes whilst helping Ryder start grabbing everything from the back. It was terrible. We almost died nearly nine fucking times. He got such bad road rage crossing the state line that I made him pull over so I could drive. “Uh, yeah it was.” Walking over to Sami, I grabbed a cigarette from his pack and quickly lit it. Alex didn’t allow us to smoke in his truck because it was his ‘baby’. I inhaled deeply before exhaling, “So, game plan?” “What do you mean game plan? We put our bags in our rooms, grab some food and go over the song we want to play. And then pray to Satan they pick us.” Ryder said while handing me my bag, I slung it over my shoulder and started walking towards the front door. We spent the next hour getting ready and arguing over which song to play, I eventually won by a game of rock, paper, scissors. I was the master, they couldn’t beat my skills of persuasion. At least that’s what I liked to tell myself. Being where I’m from, what I actually liked to wear was frowned upon so for me, it was mainly plain jeans and tee shirts. But today we were meeting Motley fuckin’ Crue. So of course, I had to look at least a little punk rock. I only glammed myself up for work, and that’s because I was a bartender at Trees in Dallas. The hotter you are, the better the tips. But other than that, I couldn’t give two fucks. Right now, I was having a bit of a dilemma. I gazed at the two outfits I had sprawled across the bed in my room. Hm, lace top with leather pants, or ripped jeans with leather bralette? Ah, the joys of being a lady. “Leather pants, definitely.” I heard a voice and it was my cousin, Sami. I nodded without responding and folded the other clothes, putting them back in my bag. Sitting down and letting out a nervous breath, I took a drink out of my flask with shaking hands. “Hey, I’m nervous too.” Sami shrugged his shoulders while coming to sit down next to me, “But check this out, you have been through so much and you came out of it better than before. Not to mention you’ll have your totally cool and badass of a cousin there to have your back.” I couldn’t help but laugh, it was true. There’s been so much shit in my life that I doubted myself on a daily basis. I knew we were good, I knew I was talented, but another part of me just sat there wondering if it was enough. “Thank you, you are pretty cool. But I will never admit I said that, ever.” I responded with a sarcastic tone before shoving his shoulder, “Alright, now get out. And please change that shirt. There’s a fucking stain on it.” “Yes, mom.” He retorted before getting up and bolting out childishly. After struggling to get my thighs into the leather pants, I yanked them up to my waist and tied the string together. Slipping into my lucky bra, and then pulling the lace top over my head, it barely covered my stomach and normally it made me feel weird but I admit, I looked pretty cute. Sitting down, I slid on my old, dirty and very beat up combat boots. They were being held together with tape, but I didn’t care. They were my mother’s and it may sound stupid, but I felt closer to her when I wore them. And today, I needed all of the comforts I could get. I left my hair down, in its natural state, wavy and a little tangled. After doing my makeup and finishing off with burgundy lipstick, I made sure my eyeliner wasn’t smudged. “Your eyes are the prettiest things I’ve ever seen like I’m looking into two blue deep pools and I’m drowning in them.” My mother used to tell me that, and when I got older and started wearing makeup, they did pop out more.  Taking a few deep breaths, I stepped out of my room and met the guy’s at the front. “Oh my god, Lucy actually has a body under her usual rags.” Alex was joking, but the look I gave him made him stop laughing real quick. “Well, let’s get this done.” I was enthusiastic, I was. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up too soon. - Here we were, at the studio. I finished my cigarette before taking three gulps of Beam that was in my flask before shoving it down in my boot. A man with slicked-back hair and a dimpled grin stepped outside the building along with a tall and lanky fellow beside him. “Hello, you must be the band from Texas, right? I’m Doc, the manager and this is Tom, our producer.” “Please to meet you.” We exchanged handshakes and names all before heading inside, unloading our gear. “We do have equipment here, you guys didn’t have to bring your own.” We all kinda just looked at him. I don’t know about the guys but my guitar was my baby, her name was Stella. She was a dark red Dean Vendetta XMT with Tremolo. My mom got it for me on our last Christmas together. I wouldn’t touch any other guitar. “We don’t mind,” I told him as I followed behind Ryder before stepping into the small room. Whoa, we’ve never been in an actual studio before. And across the room were four men sitting around, talking and laughing. I didn’t know rather introduce ourselves first or start setting up. Apparently, Ryder had the right idea. “Hey, I’m Ryder. I’m the drummer.” Since when was he the talkative one? “What’s up, dude! Me too!” Tommy yelled excitedly while standing up, and instead of a handshake, he honestly pulled him into a hug and I could tell this was a start of a bromance, even if we didn’t get the slot. “These are my bandmates, Nikki, Vince, and Mick,” Tommy told us like we didn’t already know. “Hey, guys. Oh, sorry, this is our guitarist, Lucy.” Ryder said while wrapping an arm around my shoulder to kind of push me forward. I was a little in shock, to say the least. He pinched me and I came back to reality. Tommy immediately gave me a hug too, “Nice to meet ya! How ‘bout I step out and help the rest and introduce myself?” “Oh you don’t-” But before I could finish my sentence he had already jogged out the door. “I’m Vince, and let me guess, your name is Gorgeous,” Vince said while staring me up and down, I seized the moment, too. “Lucy Gorgeous. Nice ring to it.” I said with a dramatic hair flip. He only grinned, “It’s nice to meet you.” My stomach was flipping when Mick stood up to shake my hand. He was my hero, my fucking idol. “Oh my god, you are my favorite musician, I absolutely adore the way you play.” Mick gave me a small but stern looking smile, probably because my hand was still latched to his like a weirdo. “Oh, sorry!” I laughed it off and quickly withdrew my hand. “I appreciate the compliment, thank you. And I’m looking forward to hearing you play.” He said before settling back down with a small grunt. Nikki hadn’t gotten up from his seat or even acknowledge that I was there. He was face deep on a dish, doing a line of coke. “Hi, Nikki. I’m Lucy, the guitarist for my band.” I said while I approached him, holding my hand out. “Oh, hey, sorry.” He eventually looked up and set the dish down to the side, he was silent for a second before reaching forward and shaking my hand, “I hope you play as good as you look.” He told me before letting go. I didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. - After getting all set up, we were about ready to play.  I was tuning my strings while my hands keep shaking, I almost dropped my pick. But I knew that once I started playing, I would feel better. Glancing up and tapping my mic for a second before looking at my guys’, then looking forward to the six men that were standing behind the glass waiting. Alex felt the need to pronounce us. “We’re System Insomniac, and this song is called Burn it To The Ground. I hope y’ all enjoy.” (Basing the band’s songs off of song Nickelback and a few other band’s concepts pls don’t judge and just pretend it was during that era because I love the guitar solos and riffs.) They then nodded at me, and I started without hesitation with the beginning. Being followed by Ryder on the drums, then Sami on his bass. It sounded so much better in here, I swear I orgasmed. “Well it’s midnight, damn right, we’re wound up too tight, I’ve got a fistful of whiskey, the bottle just bit me. Ooohhhh! That shit makes me batshit crazy! We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out! Mmmm, we’re going out tonight! Hey! To kick out every light! Hey! Take anything we want, Drink everything in sight! We’re going till the world stops turning, While we burn it to the ground tonight!” Alex’s deep voice boomed through the entire room, it gave me chills. I continued my playing and just got completely lost in the song before stepping forward to start my solo, and I forgot where I was. I forgot what we were doing, I was just there, killing it on my guitar and feeling every single chord I strung with my pick. I don’t know about my mates, but I think it was the same with them. It wasn’t until I was almost finished with my solo, and Alex kind of pushed me forward to sing the bridge. My voice rang through as loud and clear as I could make it, “Tickin’ like a time bomb, drinkin’ till the night’s gone, Well get your hands off this glass, last call my ass. Weelll, no train, no lock, this train won’t stop. We got no fear, no doubt, all in, balls out!” Alex chimed in and sang the last line of the bridge with me before taking back over where I stepped off to the side to finish off the song with the last part of the chorus. With the ending, Ryder and I finished off the song while Sami nailed the last string on his bass. We stood there breathing kind of uneasily, both from nervousness and how much energy we put into our performance. We stood there in silence before Tommy busted through the door that separated the two parts of the room clapping, “Fuck yeah! That rocked! Finally, a band that doesn’t suck ass dude!” Alex and Tommy high fived. I smiled to myself before pulling my strap off of my shoulders and moving to set her gently into her case. It was ultimately up to Doc and Tom but the band liked us, I overheard remnants of a conversation Doc and Alex were having. I still didn’t know if we got the slot, and to ease my nerves, I tugged my flask from my boot and took a swig from it. I felt a pair of eyes on me, turning around while wiping my chin a little and screwing the cap back on, “Sorry.” I shrugged. It was Nikki. “That stuff will kill ya.” He commented while taking a swig from his Daniels bottle, “But it tastes so good.” He eventually said with a laugh, “Hell, yes it does.” I agreed while heading out the door, Nikki followed behind shortly. “You’re pretty good, for a chick.” He told me while I was in the middle of lighting a cigarette, “The highest of compliments.” I retorted and rolled my eyes. Just because I was a girl, doesn’t mean I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Music has been everything to me and it always will be. “So, do you think we got the slot?” I asked him, and he was about to answer before a certain blonde appeared beside me with an arm slung around my shoulder, “What the fuck do you think?” “I think that we drove 19 hours straight cramped in a truck, and running on like an hour of sleep, and all the while this was insane, and as much as we love you guys, a simple yes or no would suffice,” I said while taking a drag, glaring at Nikki while he pulled it from my fingers and took a few puffs himself. “He means yes, you guys got the slot.” Nikki told me while staring directly into my eyes, “We leave in two weeks.” I hadn’t responded and accidentally burned myself because I was in complete shock. I had no words. “Ow!” I yelped, and this dark haired fucker was smirking. “Suck a cock,” I mumbled to him before walking out to find the rest of my band. “Feisty, I like you already!” I heard him yell. I didn’t know how to register but this was our fucking moment. 

[fanficparker]

Next Door | H.O.

Pairing: Neighbour!Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Word count: 1.6k words

Requested: By anonymous - How about a request where Y/n's birthday was a few days ago and Haz didn't know it until Y/n's mom calls him because Y/n didn't answer her texts. And then he realizes she hates her birthday because in the last few years none of her friends attended her party. (I don't know its kinda weird but my birthday is in a few weeks and I feel the same)

Warnings: Swearing, Just a fluff piece :)

Summary: You have stopped making friends, but can your neighbour change your mind?

[ MASTERLIST ]

Harrison was taking a small nap on the free weekend afternoon when he was woken up to his phone ringing. He groaned covering his ears with a pillow. He shuffled his arm on the side table trying to find his phone without opening his eyes or removing the pillow, still succeeding.

"Hello," He lightly groaned in the phone, removing the pillow.

"Hello. Are you Mr. Osterfield from flat 202?" A middle-aged woman spoke up.

"Yeah," He sleepily responded.

"Sorry to disturb you I just wanted to ask for your neighbour from next door. 203, Y/n Y/ln. I'm her mom."

He rubbed opened his eyes sitting on his bed. "Yeah what about her?"

"Have you seen her recently? Is she alright?" The woman asked.

"I actually don't know her very well, but I did see her taking groceries this morning. She seemed pretty alright to me." He replied to which the woman sighed.

"Thank god. I was so much worried. She wasn't answering any of the texts or calls this month. I was so freaked out that I had to contact the apartment owner asking for the neighbour's contact. I actually can now guess why she did that. Thanks by the way and sorry to disturb you." The lady was about to hang up when Harrison interrupted.

"Ah, wait. I meant how can you guess when she didn't answer?"

"Oh that. It was her birthday last week and she kinda hates that day and doesn't like me talking about it, so that's the only reason I could think of her, ignoring me."

"Why? Ah--- Sorry for being nosy---"

"I don't mind. But to be honest she never talks about it so I too... Am unaware."

"Oh. Okay. Got it."

"Thanks." And she hung up.

Harrison kept his phone down and got up deciding to take a warm shower. After showering and scrolling his phone he noticed the call from earlier in his call logs.

How can someone hate their birthday? He asked himself. For Harrison birthdays were one of his best days in the whole year. A day when people didn't bother him for the mistakes he made or the unmade bed or his un-organized flat or messed up kitchen. A day when his friends and family spent quality time with him, even when it meant messing up with their own schedule. All this made him feel special! A little bit extra attention doesn't hurt, right? Damn, doesn't she like feeling special?

Maybe I could visit her. Yeah, I should. I have been living here with her next to me at least for 2 years. I should try to be more social outside my limited friend circle and family. Yeah, I should definitely visit her. Maybe we become good friends. Maybe she turns out to be an interesting person.... who doesn't like her birthday.

First meet then judge! He reminded himself, throwing a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt locking his flat.

••• He knocked at your door, waiting for a response. It isn't like you haven't ever met. You have and even talked but only for some important things, like the lift not working, not for 'just knowing each other' purpose.

"Hi!" You said opening the door.

"Hi!" He returned the gesture.

You waited for him to tell what he wanted, but he just smiled.

"Ah, is there anything I could do for you?" You finally asked.

No. I just thought of getting to know you.

"You-your mom called me." He said, unable to think of any right way to start a conversation and he thought he was an expert?!

"She why? Does she even know you?" You asked confused.

"Can I come in?" He asked producing a tight-lipped smile.

"Yeah sorry, I should have called you in." You gave him space to get in a little embarrassed of your ignorance.

"No mention." He said as you gave him a seat on the sofa. His eyes travelled to take a look at the whole flat seeing tons of make-up products organized on shelves and tables.

"Don't freak out, I actually own a beauty salon." You said following his gaze.

"That's great!"

"Why did my mom called you?" You enquired again.

"She was worried of you not answering her texts and calls so she searched for your neighbour's number. Who was me." He answers.

"Oh."

"But why didn't you answer?" He asked.

"I ah... Maybe... I don't remember." You fidgeted with your hands looking down.

"She said something about you hating your birthday to be the potential reason?! Is it true?" He raised his brows at you.

You raised your head to face him standing just near the sofa.

"I don't wanna sound harsh or rude, but I believe it's my life and hence it's none of your business?!" Your voice was calm, but it did sound a bit harsh. Telling people to 'mind their own business' always sounds rude, no matter whatever era we are living in. And he did seem offended or maybe hurt.

"Umm... Sorry." He stood up from the sofa. He was offended for sure. He ignored you and walked towards the door mumbling, "I just wanted to be friends!" And luckily you heard it.

"Friends?" You chuckled, more like produced a frustrated chuckle. He stopped and turned to look at you.

You continued, "I'm sorry for being rude. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why did you laugh at the mention of 'friends'?" He squinted his eyes a bit.

You took a breathe, "It is that friends are the real reason why I hate my birthday."

He didn't ask 'why' this time, remembering the minding business phrase. But his expressions were of curiosity and you could tell.

"You can sit. I'm sorry." You again apologized, but he didn't react.

"Pleeaasseee!" You pleaded and he shook his head at your ministration taking his previous seat and this time you joined him.

"I actually don't 'hate' hate my birthday.  It's just I'm jealous of other's who have reason to love this day." You said making him more confused, but he let you finish without interrupting."When I was younger I loved the day too. So many friends, so much fun. But as time passed they left me. As I passed high school, my school friends vanished. When I passed university, my college friends vanished. Then I realized they were my friends just because they had me to do their work. When they no more needed me I was discarded like rubbish. I stopped making friends all together. It isn't very pleasant to remind yourself of those fake pleasant memories. So I try to ignore this day and mom actually bugs me asking about how am I going to celebrate lab-lab-lab year birthday with my 'friends' who don't actually exist!" You finished giving an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry. I didn't know." He sympathized.

"Because we never actually talked earlier. But hey, do you want tea or coffee? I even have cookies and---"

"I have some work, gotta go!" He said getting up and left.

God, you must have hurt him. "For once someone genuinely wanted to be friends and I not only slipped the opportunity but also offended them!" You cursed yourself and plopped down on the couch rethinking your words, regretting them repeatedly.

••• You noticed the time. It had already been 2 hours Harrison had gone and you were lost in your thoughts. You decided to cook some dinner when you heard your doorbell. You opened the door to face the same gorgeous blue eyes again, hitting you again with a wave of repentance.

"I am really really so---"

"Keep the worries aside. Look here!" He pointed at his hands by shifting his gaze down.

He was holding a plate with a small sponge cake on top of it tucked with some candles. How ignorant of you to not notice it earlier. He fake coughed, shifting your attention from the cake towards him.

"Can I come in?" He asked the same question as earlier, again embarrassing warmth travelled to your cheeks as you welcomed him inside.

He set the cake on the table.

"So I guess you can bring in the cookies or any snacks you were talking about earlier. We can have a small party!"

"Wait. Party? For what?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Oh yeah. Happy Belated Birthday!" He cheered.

"I-- umm... said I don't like my birthday?!" You widened your eyes.

"But now you have a friend, sooo?" He raised a single eyebrow with a slight smirk.

"I-I this--you?" You couldn't make complete sentences, you had no idea how to reply.

"Oh wait I haven't introduced myself properly. I am Harrison Osterfield. Actor, adventurer, a really nice guy and the guy next door. Can we be friends?" He stretched his arm in your direction with a beautiful full mouth smile.

You glanced at his hand then at his face and then back to his hand. Warmth rushed to your heart which had the same effect as sunshine on a dark winter day. You accepted the gesture shaking his hand.

"Y/n Y/ln, Beautician and the girl next door. Friends!" You smiled.

And damn if he wasn't so nice and...

* * *

Taglist…

PERMANENT Taglist //

@i-love-superhero // @caswinchester2000 // @vintagexquill // @babebenhardy// @acceptance07 //

Mutuals:  @bringmethehorizonandpizza @calum-hoodwinked-me @acceptance07 @probably-writing-x @hollandsosterfield @summernykole @faefictions @osterfieldholland01 @hazhasmycoffeex3 @hazthotsterfield @hazsterfield @empressdreams @harryshollands @hexingholland @fictionalbadass

Saw a post saying you guys wanted to get tagged in Haz stuff: @mendes-holland @jordiee95 @marlenenewton14 @loversnothaters @iboopedyournose @clean-and-claire @hollandishh @spooder-boi @thisisthetragicstoryofme @missweasley899 @screamholland @starboyholland 

Just tell me if you don’t wanna be tagged!!

[twistednuns]

February 2020

I managed to use my iPad as a second monitor for my computer. So tech savvy. Yay me!

Joking about developing a sex-based cardio programme with Manu. Powerfucking! Might help against aggression as well.

A late night phone call with Tom. Not saying much.

Making a huge pot of my grandmother’s signature veggie stew.

More Bon Appétit test kitchen videos. Chris recreating tacos. Claire making Ben&Jerry’s. Priya making her mum’s Indian curries.

Writing a letter to Lena. Drawing upside down bats (which makes them look like they’re having a wicked dance-off). Just the act of writing. I thoroughly enjoy looking at my handwriting.

Using the Salted Coconut handscrub by Lush. Especially now that I wash my hands so often when we’re working with clay at school. I feel like the peeling triggers some pressure points on my palms.

That Saturday productivity high. Cooking and preparing heaps of stuff, cleaning the windows, doing laundry.

Painting my nails like an expressionist artist.

Some portrait studies. Accidentally drawing Sirius Black.

Being really motivated to improve my Spanish. Working with Lorena, the Duolingo app and even starting my own grammar/vocabulary book.

This ultra quirky ASMR video. Also: watching videos with Erin an her boyfriend Chris. It’s amazing how well they work together. How you can almost feel their connection, how similar they are.

Carrot cake oats.

Seeing the The Darkness live again, this time with Margit. Justin’s outfit and personality, singing along, especially to Time of my Life, the band’s traditional first song after the show.

Meeting Chris. Having a Bramblette cocktail at Pusser’s. I like that place. Feels very old-timey with a rowing boat right under the ceiling. We made out in front of a tiger slide in a toy store window on our way to the next bar.

Peeling fresh carrots.

Pickling onions and making kimchi. My fermentation game is strong these days!

Looking through Dominik’s sketchbook. I loved the tree whose bark resembled a mole burrow with its underground tunnel system.

The flu. Yes, really. Fewer pupils at school. Quiet times. I’m actually surprisingly healthy. I’d guess my probiotics must play a role here… Who knows.

More sourdough experiments. Writing about it (DELICACY - a haiku. Oven-warm sourdough / salted butter, alpine cheese / and a strawberry).

Finding a really interesting list of SanFran hippie era book recommendations at the end of Robin Sloan’s Ajax Penumbra: 1969. In the mood to read Maya Angelou, Tom Wolfe, Jack Kerouac, Richard Brautigan.

Even more beautiful books: I really enjoyed Die weiße Stadt by Karolina Ramqvist, a feminist author from Sweden, and the graphic novel version of To Kill a Mockingbird. But two books that literally (well, figuratively obviously) blew my mind were Circe by Madeline Miller (mythology, loneliness, animals and plants, magic and monsters, some desperate kind of feminism, independence and strength) and Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (magical realms, university setting, psychological depth, unexpected twists and turns). I haven’t read anything comparable in a very long time and I desperately hope that there’s more to come from these authors.

A beach collecting all the world’s single socks in The Magicians. Oh and of course seeing them break the moon. What a sight. The show is super confusing, obnoxious and absolutely fabulous at the same time. Best example: the Freaky Friday szene in which Margo and Eliot switch bodies. I love how the actors took on each other’s speech patterns and behaviour.

A new addition to my colour vocabular: celadon (a greyish green; there is a type of ceramics you’ll only see in this colour which is not surprising since the shade provides such an interesting contrast to the the earthy, rusty orange of burnt clay.)

Manu telling me that he had rarely seen people with more joy in their eyes than me (“Ich habe schon Freude in deinen Augen gesehen! So ein Leuchten kann man nicht simulieren.”) after complaining about being bored and lifeless. / Making curry with or, well, for him the other night. Drinking Liqueur 43 with cinnamon and milk. Playing the Jackbox party games for which you can use your phone as a controller.

Finding myself in a well-known sitation from the past. Lying in Frank’s bed in the early morning hours, not that tired yet, when he starts talking about his life and his depression. In English, obviously, because that’s our emotional filter. Relating, since I feel quite similar. Coming up with a suggestion for a reciprocal support system. Let’s see what we can do for each other.

Looking at travel photographs. The sea, the cenotes. Longing to go back to Mexico or Australia. Diving. Taking it all in.

Dreaming of my grandmother talking about her biggest regrets in life. Weirdly she was in a little bundle under a coffee table, much like Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie.

My weird, weird brain. How both pleasure and pain enhance my sense of smell and increase my brain activity, almost causing hallucinations and fixations on ideas. Like geometric shapes in gloomy off-colours and a beige silicon-like surface the other night. All I could think of was a benchscraper.

Blue eyeliner.

Brainstorming three-letter-words with Frank since I’m thinking of getting personalised Nike Blazers. Sad cat. Yes but. Dat ass. Why tho.

Flying squirrels. Watching them wobble through the air. How they look like cute exhibitionist when they’re extending their limbs and thus stretching their, well, let’s just call it wings.

The fact that red cabbage has an intricate pattern like brain convolutions when you cut it open.

Talking to Sonja for the first time in over two years. What a strange person. Interesting, too. At least in homeopathic doses.

Ripe strawberries and nectarines. Oh my god. I love fruit.

Meeting Eve at Pub Quiz. She identifies as female, loves swing dance, used to be an animator and I love her style. Also, I realised that really like Betty. And Dennis wasn’t mean to me for once. I love my nerd friends <3 And I learned that Starbucks was named after the first mate in Moby Dick! Also, coincidentally they asked a question about the city where To Kill a Mockingbird takes place (Maycombe, Alabama) after I had read it the week before.

Inviting Lorena to the Botanical Gardens. I always feel very happy and very much myself when I’m there. I sometimes wish I was a gardener. Lorena was late so I walked along the Spring Path outside and it might have been the first time I’ve seen a brussels sprouts plant. Inside I learned lots of Spanish words and marveled at the incredible butterflies. The huge yellow one right behind the entrance was my favourite. Its delicate feelers were fascinating.

Washing my hands at the Keg’s bathroom. Looking into the mirror. Suddenly thinking of the perfect karaoke song… Rescue Me by Bell Book and Candle! I kept singing it for days on repeat. My neighbour must hate me (nothing new here) especially since my voice is too low for the chorus.

It isn’t hard to see how such attachment patterns can undermine mental health. Both anxious and avoidant coping have been linked to a heightened risk of anxiety, depression, loneliness, eating and conduct disorders, alcohol dependence, substance abuse and hostility. The way to treat these problems, say attachment theorists, is in and through a new relationship. On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy. // An interesting article on attachment styles and why theraphy works; it makes me want to learn more about attachment theory. This School of Life video is a nice addition as well.

That dream. About a book shop modeled after my picture of Penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore. There was an old man in a very narrow but high-ceilinged room full of books. There was no light source except for moonlight or some street lights. There were loads of stairs, very steep, leading to the back of the house. Upstairs the man would set out cat food and on the rooftop there was an old sailing boat. One day the man decided to open the door to the roof and let visitors see the ship, much like a museum; perhaps to attract customers. However, in the next night a cat-shaped ghost appeared who reminded me quite a lot of Kot Behemoth character in Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita. The ghost was not amused about the old man’s decision and took away his key, a big golden one adorned with a red ribbon.

Toasted sesame makes pretty much every dish so much better.

Watching High Fidelity with gorgeous Zoe Kravitz (I adore her effortless style and her outfits), getting in the mood for making a playlist and listening to more music in general. There are all these great songs out there I forgot about.

Remembering the xkcd storm chaser comics.

Making a wicked good batch of Pho for Tom.

Spending a nice evening with Alex at Shamrock. Singing along to American Boy by Estelle. Confirming the hypothesis that the nerdy, quiet ones usually have a freak streak. That moment in the morning. Eye contact and kegel exercises.

Karaoke with Margit and Betty. Meeting Manu’s doppelganger. Same type, looks, voice. Eerie.

Making a BA Gourmet Makes meme for Steffen after he had passed his law examps. Strangely Gaby kinda looked like him after I was done with it.

Saturday morning in bed. Reading comics and graphic novels. Fresh bedclothes, surrounded by books. Since it was February 29 I thought about leap years and asked a few friends what their inner seven-year-old would have done that day (based on the thought experiment that your birthday was on February 29 and you’d age in 4-year-steps which would divide your age by 4 obviously).      

I came up with: visiting grandma / eating Cini-Minis / falling asleep with my face buried in a cat / beating my neighbour Anna at Memory / drawing while listening to a Bibi Blocksberg cassette.

Alex said he’d have been outside all day, building a snow igloo. Not noticing his mum telling him to come to dinner. If the weather had been bad he would have played with his dinosaur collection. His inner 7-year-old was a hopeless dreamer who got agitated whenever his parents had a fight. Who came home late from school every day because he forgot about time when he was talking to his friend next to a hedge with thorns that looked like tiny airplanes.

Lena said she would have been outside all day long, playing in the mud with the neighbours’ kids. Of course.

[fanfictionandmore]

The Kreizler Institute | The Alienist + Mphfpc

[Chapter One | New York] 

Jade's POV:

The sound of rain caught my attention as I got ready for the day. I didn't really have to go anywhere, so I didn't mind that it was raining. After I was dressed I headed downstairs to get something to eat. When I walked into the kitchen I found my uncle Alfius cooking breakfast for us.

"Good morning, sweetie. How did you sleep?" He asked me curiously with a small smile on his gently wrinkled face. I just got into town last night, so I was still kinda tired but other than that I was doing just fine. "I slept alright." I replied with a smile of my own as I walked towards a cabinet and retrieved a mug from one of the shelves.

"Good. I'm glad that you decided to take a vacation. You deserve one for working so hard all the time. I just wish that the weather was a little better." He said as he turned his focus on cooking eggs and bacon for us. "It's fine. I actually love the rain; it's good for writing or reading or watching movies." I said as I pouring freshly brewed coffee into the mug I had picked out.

"Best to stick to reading or watching movies. You won't be writing on my watch. That is my what you're taking a vacation from after all." He said, and I knew he was right. I've been burnt out from writing so much. My lack of creativity is my own fault for not being firmer with my publishing agent. All she wants from me are new stories so she can make more money.

But I didn't start writing for money; I started writing to build interesting worlds and give someone an escape from reality. I pressed my thoughts to the back of my mind and took a seat at the kitchen table. When breakfast was finished my uncle and I ate and talked about various different things. We just wanted to catch up on everything we've missed in each other's lives.

Once we were finished eating I volunteered to wash the dishes, and he helped dry them. I spent most of the day sitting on the couch watching movies with my uncle, who fell asleep in the middle of The Hobbit. Around lunch time the rain had stopped and some golden sunshine peaked through the thick gray clouds.

"I think I'm going to go for a walk after lunch. Do you wanna join me?" I said, breaking the silence after shutting the tv off. "No, I think I'll stay inside. The damp weather makes my joints hurt." He said and rubbed one of his elbows to show his point. I mad us something to eat for lunch since he was kind enough to make breakfast.

After I ate, I slipped on a plain black hoodie and headed out. "Stay safe, and don't do anything I wouldn't do." My uncle said, which made me smile. "I promise I'll stay safe, Alfius." I replied with a small laugh. I stepped outside and walked down the steps that lead down to the sidewalk. The streets were full of people going to their destinations. I let out a deep sigh and my breath turned into white mist as it hit the cool air.

Spring was just starting, but the winter chill hadn't left quite yet. I decided to go to the nearest park, which was too far. I entered the black iron gates of Stuyvesant Park and took in the wonderful sights it had to offer. The budding blooms on trees looked so bright and beautiful against the clouds. The golden light that was peaking through various cracks in the sheet of gray covering the sky looked absolutely brilliant.

Droplets of water clung to every surface as well. I admired the reflections that were the rain puddles as I walked through the park. Barely anyone was enjoying the bright greens that adorned the place. But it wasn't surprising considering the fact that had been pouring down rain just a few minutes or so ago. I stumbled upon a little pond during my peaceful walk, and smiled when I spotted a couple of water foul floating on the surface.

A male and female mallard duck were quacking as they moved around the small pond. I wanted to get closer, but I didn't want to scare them away so I stayed where I stood and just watched them. A few moments passed before I decided I should be on my way. After leaving the park I walked around the little neighbourhood near the park. One of the houses on the opposite side of the street I was walking on caught my attention.

When I looked up at the windows I spotted someone looking out of one. It took me a moment to realize it was a boy; he looked no older than sixteen years old. There wasn't anything very significant about him except for the clothes he was wearing. They looked like they weren't from this era, in fact... they looked as if they were from the nineteenth century. 'Maybe they're cosplayers or something.' I thought inside of my head.

The boy must have sensed that someone was watching him, because he turned his head in my direction. As soon as he spotted me he quickly stepped away from the window and violently pulled the curtains closed. I hoped I didn't make the boy uncomfortable. I was really only admiring the architecture of the home. I pressed my thoughts to the back of my mind and went on my way. Instead of going straight to my uncle's place, I spotted an old secondhand bookstore.

The cozy little shop was just calling my name, so I had to go in and look around. When I opened the door a small bell rang letting the store clerk know someone had came in. "Good afternoon, welcome to Millard's Secondhand Books. If you need anything just give a shout." An ancient looking man said with a kind smile. He would have been just as tall as me if he wasn't hunched over so badly.

The white hair on his head was sticking up at odd angles as if he hadn't brushed it in ages. A set of very thick, round glasses were sitting on the bridge of his crooked nose as well. His misty blue eyes were magnified ten fold, giving him this bug like quality. I nodded slightly to let him know I understood him. Then I turned my attention to the many dusty books that were occupying the shelves.

The shop was eerily silent; not like the silent atmosphere one would find in a library. It was like the quietness had a heaviness to it. The old floorboards didn't even creak like I had expected them to as I walked forward. It was as if the entire place was holding it's breath... waiting... like a sleeping dragon guarding it's precious gold. 'You're just being silly, Jade. The only reason you're thinking about dragons is because you just finished watching The Hobbit films.' I thought inside of my head as I turned to my right and headed down one of the isles.

I studied every book spine my eyes raked across and pulled various books off shelves to see if they were worth buying. Time seemed to stand still as I looked around that little shop. Eventually something did peak my interest. A slim black leather book caught my attention. The image of a bird with a pocket watch in it's beak and a snake in it's talons was encircled by an elegant oval; the engraving in the leather was done in gold. Tales of the Peculiar | Millard Nullings was etched on the spine.

Other than that there was no other writing on the book whatsoever. 'Take it. It has been waiting here just for you.' A voice said inside of my head like it does every time I find a wonderful book. I finished looking around and walked up to the clerk desk, ready to make my purchase. "Did you find what you were looking for?" He asked me curiously as I handed him the book I had found.

"Well, I wasn't really looking for anything. I think it found me to be honest." I replied with a small smile and his eyes sparkled. He placed the book in a brown paper bag before I handed him the money to pay for it. "You have a lovely day, and enjoy your book." He said as he handed me my change and receipt. "Thanks you have a lovely day as well." I replied before leaving the shop and finally heading back to my uncle's place.

When I entered the house I could hear that my uncle was on the phone talking to someone, so I tried to be as quiet as possible. I took my wet shoes off before heading upstairs to my room. Once I removed my hoodie I sat down on the bed and took the book I had bought out of the bag. I was just about to open the front cover when there was a knock on the door.

"Jade, is that you? I thought I heard you come in." Alfius said on the other side of my bedroom door. "Yeah, it's me." I replied. "Good, because I have an old friend that's coming over for dinner tonight. I think you'll like him." He said and I suddenly got nervous. I've never met any of his friends before even though I've known him literally all of my life. I just suddenly realized that for some reason and I couldn't help but realized how odd that was.

But I sat my new book aside and pressed thoughts to the back of my mind. I knew I'd have to help Alfius cook dinner but I didn't mind. I actually enjoy cooking, which is a plus when you live on your own. It keeps you from eating fast food all the time. Together we made some kind of french dish I couldn't even pronounced. I was glad my uncle was there to help and guide me through making it, because if I didn't have him I would have messed up spectacularly.

"I'll have to show you some new dishes to make so you don't get bored when you go back to Maryland." He said with a small smile as we started cleaning up a little. "I'd appreciate that." I replied happily. I wiped some sweat from my brow just when the doorbell rang, and my stomach filled with anxiety. "That should be him. I'll get it." My uncle said before he went off to answer the front door. I took a deep breath and hoped his friend wasn't too fancy, especially since I wasn't dressed up in the slightest.

I had on a pair of black jeans and a plain black t-shirt that was a little too big for me. But that's just my style; I actually hate tight fitting clothes. I could hear another male voice talking with my uncle, and I hoped this guy was nice... whoever he was. "Here she is. Caleb, this is my niece Jade." Alfius said, introducing us. I was absolutely dumbstruck because I knew the mad who was currently standing in front of me.

It was one of my favorite authors in the whole world... Caleb Carr. He was much taller than I expected, which was a little intimidating. It took me a moment to realize he had his hand outstretched for me to take, and I felt like a complete idiot. "Hi. I... I'm really big fan of your work." I said. To say that I was nervous is an understatement. We shook hands and politely smiled at each other.

"Thank you. Your uncle told me you were a writer, but he never mentioned that you're a reader of my work." He replied as we let go of each other's hands. I mentioned that my uncle probably didn't even know that I read his books. Alfius went into the kitchen to get us something to drink while we waited on the food to be done. The two of us made small talk and he asked me which of his books were my favorites.

"I love The Alienist and The Angel of Darkness. Your characters in those stories are so likable and interesting. My favorite character is Dr. Kreizler." I said, blushing a little. My introduction to those works of writing started after I had seen the tv adaption of The Alienist. While I watched the show I kinda developed a crush on Kreizler; not to mention the fact that I developed a crush on Daniel Brühl in the process. He is the actor who plays Dr. Kreizler after all.

But I fell even more in love with the character when I finally read Caleb Carr's books. "Most people tend to like the other characters more, but that just proves your uncle right. You are different from other people." Mr. Carr said with a small smile on his face. As we talked I wondered how much my uncle actually mention me to his friends here in New York. But I guess I'd soon find out over dinner.

++++++++++++++++ A/N: Thanks for reading!! This is my first crossover fanfiction, so I hope you guys enjoy it.