#stoner!headcanon

[sinofthesloth]

Every southern boy that I know, which is a lot living in the area I live, has tried weed. I'm not saying Epel has, but... it would be one way to relax after dealing with months of Vil's condescending comments. Just him laying down on his bed at home where he just takes the fattest hit from a bong.

And once again I'm not saying he smokes. Drugs are bad kids, but if YOU were a smoker, Epel, Ace and Duece would have a circle. Idia tries to smoke before every in-person event to calm his nerves but either greens out, or Ortho catches him.

[heartfullofleeches]

Pretty Yan: Hey there, cutie~

Loser! Stoner Reader: My mommy told me not to talk to strangers- Especially if they're good looking...

Pretty Yan: I have weed and a fridge full of food at my place~ I even know how to cook.

Loser Stoner Reader: ....Can I still order pizza anyway?

Pretty Yan: If that's what makes you happy~

Loser Stoner Reader, climbing in the back of Yan's car: The fuck are you standing around for then?

[hwaflms]

round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]

{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/

[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc

[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me

[☆] wc. 6.1k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut’, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh

[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p

even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.

today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.

you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)

now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.

presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.

“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”

you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.

swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”

“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.

you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.

“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.

“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.

“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”

he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.

out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.

as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.

sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.

“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.

“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.

“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.

“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”

some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.

“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.

“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.

“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”

haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.

“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.

your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?

it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.

maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.

you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.

“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.

much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.

renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.

taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.

while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.

you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.

“are you okay with this?”

and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.

he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.

jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”

renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.

the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.

you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.

haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.

“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.

settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.

you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.

“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”

it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.

“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.

if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.

at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.

you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–

no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?

you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.

finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”

“who are you talking to?”

you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you’ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.

“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.

“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”

he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”

you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.

“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”

“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”

“…what?”

everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.

“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.

“like you want to kiss me.”

a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.

“am i wrong, pretty?”

judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”

normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.

he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.

you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.

no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.

“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”

you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.

you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”

your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.

“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”

everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.

though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”

even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.

“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.

“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”

his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”

you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.

you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.

he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”

your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.

in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.

“wait hyuck, let me–“

as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“

it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”

your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”

taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.

the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”

“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”

“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.

[konigsblog]

thinking about stoner-reader and inexperienced-könig. having a little too much and passing out on your couch, or becoming incredibly perverted and cumming all over himself whilst staring at you, like a freak.

he's humiliated the next morning. shamefully hiding his face, his black t-shirt stained with thick, milky cum drops over it, and your panties wrapped around his hard, veiny shaft.

[gravedigginbbydoll]

Me thinking about Eddie’s very white Midwest raised ass loving a Latine person and being sooooo confused at some of the cultural norms like

“Babe, why do we wash the dishes in the sink before we put them in the dishwasher? It works fine-“

“Honey? Can you tell me why you’re touching HOT FOOD with your BARE HANDS?!”

“Uh… why did we reuse this container for sauce??”

“Babe I love you and I know you’re just trying to help, but putting Vicks on my feet and socks over it sounds like a textural nightmare…”

“…remind me again why the cookie tin needs to have sewing supplies in it?”

“Are you sure we need all these grocery bags? And why do we put them in another grocery bag, that seems a little… okay okay! I won’t question it.”

“Babe, are you sure we shouldn’t leave now? I thought the party was at 8? It’s like 10 pm!”

And more

lol

[chai-berries]

i know abby doesn’t smoke weed in canon and while i’m on the side of her not being one, i myself am a stoner girlie and i picture her being pretty chill with it. she’s so the girlfriend to go to the dispensary to buy you a surprise oz or a cartridge or an edible you’ve been interested in trying! and she’s great at catering to every need high!you wants. whether that’s cuddles, painting, kissing, playing a game, even making a entire meal!!! one time you guys even cleaned the whole house, music blasting from the living room stereo

if you’re trying something a little intense, damn does she make a good tripsitter <3 though she doesn’t partake a lot she does enjoy the things you do, say, and the way you move. she has several videos of you where she’s laughing behind the camera asking you to “repeat what you just said for me, baby?” followed by you exaggerating an “i saiddddd…” before you tell her the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard — but also you’re kinda right?

sometimes she’ll catch you just staring at her. you’re eyes are droopy but your face has a look of concentration on it. she asks you what you’re looking at and all you can say is “you’re like sooo pretty, you know that?” in the most genuine tone that makes abby’s cheeks and ears burn red. it gets her every time.

and you know how everything is more,,, intense when you’re high. well that makes abby’s touch even more special. she puts her hands up the back of your shirt, scratching lightly, and goddamn does it feel so good. goosebump rising good. you let out a whine at the sensation and abby can feel you shiver. “you okay?” she asks. “yeah m’fine. just feels good.” she laughs in response and presses a kiss to your temple.

[ddejavvu]

For mvm!! Grumpy dealer Remus x sunshine r !!!!! Remus is being the biggest softie when r is over and the boys are so confused like “where is the real Remus???’ But he’s still super pissy with them telling Sirius to shut up but then turning around and showering your face in kisses :( I love him

"Remus," You whimper, clutching at the part of his shirt that lays over his chest, bunching the fabric up in your fists.

"Yes, dove?" He hums, eyes instantly off of the television screen and on you, "What's the matter, darling?"

"My feet are cold," You complain, wriggling them where they've slipped out from under the blanket Remus covered you both with, "I can't reach."

Remus can't either. You're sitting against his chest, you're actually closer than he is, but he holds a hand against your back to keep you up, careful of the lit joint he's pinched between two fingers, and bends forward to fix it anyways.

He fluffs the blanket back over your toes, straining to reach as he tucks it beneath your heels. Then he glances back up at you, still stretched, "Good?"

"Good," You give your feet an experimental wiggle, and the blanket stays put, "Thanks, Rem."

"Fucking ridiculous," A scoff cuts through your couple's reverie, and Remus's jaw goes stiff as he straightens back up to settle against the cushions.

"Oh, really, Sirius?" He brings the joint to his lips, making a show of blowing smoke in Sirius's direction, "Do tell." Remus wraps an arm protectively around your front, staring the man down.

"Remmy," James croons, leaning into Sirius's side with shiny, pleading eyes, "My toesie-woesies are cold."

"Oh, my darling," Sirius gushes, throwing a hand over his forehead in typical dramatic fashion, "That simply won't do. Allow me, princess."

"Ah, thank you!" James breathes again in that airy, ditzy voice he's put on, clutching tight at Sirius's chest, "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Keep talking," Remus drawls, lips morphing once more around the end of his joint, "But remember, you're smoking my weed, on my couch, that my girlfriend and I just had sex on."

Their faces drop, and Sirius points warily to a cushion, "Like, you had sex- here?"

"Twenty minutes ago," Remus shrugs, blowing smoke away from you and leaning in to kiss your temple as you try disappearing from his friends' incredulous gazes, "And last I checked, you fuckers didn't."

[deadghosy]

Silly crack one shot alastor x stoner male/gn reader

CRACKED OUT

Prompt: Alastor having a stoner boyfriend

Alastor was walking to his room for cane. He hummed a jazzy tune. He was wondering where you have been all day since he hasn’t seen you. He wasn’t concerned, oh no. Cause most sinners in the pentagram know that you are alastor’s significant other.

Alastor reached his door to smell…..weeed? The ZAZAAAA🔥 he covers his nose with his deer ears flat back as he scoffed with a strained smile. He told you not to smoke in his room…but he guessed you had forgotten as he opens the door to see you giggle with glossy eyes.

“Dear?” You kept giggling as Alastor eyes you suspiciously. You turn your head to face him as you look up like a mindless child.

“Are you high?” You just stare at Alastor as he asked you that

“Heyyyy….” You said as you give him a derpy smile. Mostly wobbly at most but you just smiled with a peace sign. Alastor sighs with a soft glare as he opens a window letting out the strong stench in the air. You shiver with a pout.

“Heyyyy…dude…turn the heater on or something..” you said as Alastor ignored you not listening. You pouted more and start to whine about being cold for 5 minutes until Alastor slammed the window shut after the air was gone.

You jolted holding your ear, “babe don’t yelll…” you turned over in your bed as Alastor sighs looking around his room for his trusty cane.

“I’m not yelling my sweet doe..” Alastor said as he puts in a nice air fresher to smell better in here. “And if you are ever hungry..here.” He said

He used his magic to teleport your favorite snack incase you get munchies later.

You squirm as you were stimming happy yo see your favorite snack as you smiled

Alastor couldn’t help but use his magic to tuck you in bed as your eyes were looking heavy.

You snuggle into the covers giggling but then it calmed down a little as Alastor dusted off his coat

“……I think I’m cracked out babe….” You said lastly as you giggled with glossy eyes as you closed them. Alastor just sighs grabbing his cane and leaving.

[buckleysbitch]

hiiii bb!!! i wanted to request a stoner!hazel if you could?? like what hazel would be like if she smoked with reader. Thank uuuu 🩷🩷

-🦀

moaaaaan yall know i have a thing for women who smoke!!

i toyed with the prompt a little so it’s stoner!hazel guiding reader through her first time smoking! hope you enjoy, thank you for requesting .𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹

hazels after school/fight club ritual was always the same: come home, smoke a bowl, and cuddle with her girlfriend.

after watching her blow a cloud of smoke out the window from her bong, your mouth interjects at lightning speed before you even think twice.

“babe can i try?”

her eyebrow raises, intrigued with your out of character question.

“yeah, of course…but are you sure you want to? you know i never wanna make you feel forced.” hazels eyes go softer, brushing your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear.

“i-i do. i wanna try.” you reach for the bong, but she pulls it out of the way just in time.

“hey, it’s fine if you want to, but can you tell me what this is about first?….is it about fight club today with pj?”

fuck. you can’t lie to her, it’s practically impossible. pj rocked your shit, which was embarrassing because not only was it pj that fucked you up, but you have some pretty serious bruises already forming. the whole ordeal knocked you out of your usual bubbly demeanor, and you were visibly stressed the whole rest of the time with the girls. you nod timidly, and hazel stops what she’s doing to run her fingers through your hair, pressing your foreheads together.

“i mean…yeah. i don’t know, she’s just aways way rougher to me than the other girls. makes me feel left out, y’know”

“ignore her. she’s probably just jealous because the girls actually enjoy being around you.” her eyes are the most comforting thing in the world to you, always full of wonder. “but, if you really want to, you know i’ll be right here the whole time, okay?” with another nod from you, this time with agreement, hazel scurries off for a couple minutes, and returns with a glass of water, some snacks, and your favorite movie that she keeps a copy of at her house.

watching her prep the bong was already enough for you, with her slender fingers working extra tenderly to make sure her girl gets the best first time. her rings are clinking nearly inaudibly against the glass, and she grabs the lighter, fiddling with it for a moment, before handing you the glass object.

“okay, so you’re just gonna breathe in for me, okay? i’ll do it all for you, sweet girl.” soon your mouth is cooled by the glass pressed around your lips, and hazel tussles with the lighter for a second, eyebrows furrowing, until she finally gets it to flick on. “breathe in…” she whispers, and you do as she commands, inhaling thick smoke into your lungs. “okay, now don’t be scared, i’m gonna pull it, if it gets too much you can stop okay?” with a tender glance of agreement, she pulls the piece out for you, and what feels like fireworks erupt in your lungs, making you cough uncontrollably.

“hey, hey, it’s normal, here honey…” she hands you the glass of water she fetched earlier and wipes your teary eyes with her finger, pondering “how ya feelin?” while rubbing your back.

“i feel okay…how long does it take to work?”

“not long, but…i grabbed your favorite.” she explains, holding up the movie disc.

“you’re too sweet.” you giggle as she takes your hips and guides you to sit facing the tv between her spread legs, her chest lightly bouncing up and down against your back.

after a couple minutes of the film, hazel starts chuckling out of nowhere, which in turn makes you join her. a duet of full blown laughter erupts from both of you, hands intertwined. everything feels like it’s floating, and all you can focus on is your girlfriends soft hair against your neck.

“feeling okay, babe?”

“yeah.” your smiling mouth reaches hers, into a passionate kiss. “thanks…for….”

“hey, that’s my job. love you.”

“love you more.”

“love you most.”

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

BOSS FIGHT!

[jealousjersey]

°⋆｡𖦹 °✩˖⁺‧₊bong rips °⋆｡𖦹 °✩˖⁺‧₊

stoner!mike schmidt x reader blurb

mentions: smoking weed (obv), fingering, pet names, friends to lovers, stoner mike, reader takes a caregiving roll while mike smokes, nipple sucking, groping, moaning, mikes bloodshot eyes, p in v unprotected (wrap it) creampie, cumming inside, cum eating, abby is not mentioned.

°⋆｡𖦹 °✩˖⁺‧₊˚˚₊‧⁺˖✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ °⋆｡𖦹 °✩˖⁺‧₊˚˚₊‧⁺˖✧˚ ༘ °⋆｡𖦹 °

mike takes a hit of his bong as you’re watching the star wars movies with him again “you know, jar jar binx was supposed to be a undercover sith lord” he says as he crumbles the bag of doritos, grabbing another chip. you weren’t really the type to smoke, especially not as much as mike did. but as always, he wants you to be there with him whenever he did. he just likes your company. you and mike were only friends, there was generally no tension because you honestly thought he was gay until he mentioned his last hookup to you.

mikes now on his 3rd bag of chips, hitting his bong over and over. you admit it’s funny when he coughs so hard he almost throws up. but you take care of him, like you always had. getting him water, tucking him into bed when he greened out and just comforted him. “you want a hit?” mike asks, eyes more bloodshot than you’ve ever seen. fuck it. “okay” you reply as he hands you his bong covered with stickers and a nasty residue on the inside.

you take a small puff, and god did it hit. you feel your body getting cold from the inside. almost like a release, like your shoulders relaxed for the first time since you were 11. “you feel it?” mike says, watching you try not to cough. “oh yeah, i feel it.” you say after a moment, trying to grasp what he was saying.

after a few moments mike starts getting touchy, which is fine with you. you were relaxed and you’d never admit it but you always thought he was hot. you wanted this but now that it’s happening you’re freaking out. you watch his fingers dance across your thigh. “mike?” you ask, a higher pitch in your voice. “god, i forgot what i sound like.” you think to yourself. mikes been your friend for years and this has only crossed your mind about 5 times during the span of your friendship.

“yeah baby?” he asks you. “did you just call me baby?” you replied. “what- no” he stutters. he’s so high he forgets himself. you laugh at him, trying to forget what he called you as he swiftly takes his fingers away.

10 minutes later his fingers travel up your thigh again. it feels nice having his touch on you but you do feel weird, you feel a familiar sensation in your stomach. “is this okay?” mike asks with a rasp in his throat “yeah” you reply. his fingers travel to your inner thigh and reaches the soaked crotch of your leggings. they were thin enough so he could gather the wetness on his finger and bring it up to his mouth. he sucks on the moisture of his fingers as he makes eye contact with you. “fuck” he mumbles, tasting you for the first time.

your hands begin to travel to his bulge in his pants, mike notices and moves the bong from in between his legs, giving you room to feel him. “god you’re hard mike” you joke. “god you’re wet” he jokes back. you take off your leggings and he takes his jeans off, leaving you both exposed in your underwear. he reached to take off your shirt to reveal your breasts. he stares for a moment before carefully taking the bud into his mouth as you softly moan at his action.

his teeth release the areola as his body moves down you and his mouth meets your pussy, in your relaxed state even a little bit of friction makes you crumble. he pushes two fingers into you and gasps at the flood surrounding his fingers. “jesus christ baby” he says, genuinely suprised at the wetness swallowing his fingers. he curls his fingers up, stoking your g spot perfectly with each movement. you groan softly into nothing as you clench around him.

you palm his bludge and move your hand back and forth on it and his eyes roll back in his head with the burning friction you’re causing him. “need you s’bad” he slurs, you look into his eyes and his eyes are bloodshot, his face is flushed and his lips are puffy. “need you more” you say back to him as you’re taking off your panties completely and spreading your legs, your wetness asking for his entrance.

mike takes his underwear off, his tip soaking in precum and pushes himself deep inside you. “fuck- you’re so good” he says as he holds your hips and pushes you closer, so you can feel him surrounding your walls. he fills you up nicely. “fuck mike” you moan breathily as his thickness fills you. his thumb circles your clit stimulating you more.

mike thrusts in and out of you at a slow pace, edging you as you ask for more. “yeah? you want me to go fast princess?” he teases you as he completes your request, now his hips moving faster as his cock assaults your g spot, causing you to almost finish way faster than you thought. “mike i’m close” you stutter. you feel his dick twitch inside you as you start to feel overstimulated. “cum on my cock, i need to feel you leak down me” he says as you finish on him.

mike thrusts faster, finishing after you. he cums inside you before he pulls out, revealing you drip out a mixture of yours and mikes releases. his fingers make their way inside you, scooping out the cum and bringing it his mouth and sucking on his fingers. he brings his fingers to your face and grabs your cheek. “you’re so fucking pretty” he states. you’ve unlocked a new side of mike, a soft side of him. suddenly he was finally relaxed.

he plops down beside you, breathing heavily as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug. “we needa smoke more often” you say as you giggle.

[nightfall-kachiniko]

Keigo blowing smoke into your mouth as you kiss makes my knees weak. Just taking a hit before pulling you in close, his hands deep in your waist, as one of them pulls your chin up to his face, kissing you deeply. Just inhaling him.

(Extra points if your his sneaky link co worker, who, we all know, the commission would kill him if they found out)

[ecoamerica]

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[heartfullofleeches]

Saint Yan: As much as I respect your choices, there is no way on God's green earth I will ever smoke that stuff with you, my love

Stoner Darling: That's chill. It's not for everyone... plus certain strains make me, like, stupid horny. My brain goes straight into my pants and I'd go down on the first person willing to tango if ya know what I mean.

Saint Yan: !!

Saint Yan: W-well, I have been rather stressed recently-

[penheadie]

a comic based off a shitty headcanon that's sure to get me killed by the fandom

I'm not really one of those people who's waaay big into speculating what character's sexualities are because that's honestly the last thing on my mind, but I just really wanted to draw this before pride is over. I remember Zeddyzi mentioned something about once Stone maybe being demi and I hope to god it's true so that we get some more of us asexuals in the house, but also because I think it would be funny to add to the comedic element of making the most over-simped character in ramshackle be on the ace spectrum as part of the irony.

Ramshackle and it's characters belong to the lovely @zeddyzi

[ahfrickenfrick]

trying to go through my brain and separating fanon vs canon should be considered illegal cause my brain half the time refuses to believe that it isn’t real

like wtf do you mean timmy isn’t canonically a stoner, man? give that boy a joint and let him relax god damnit

[paninicupcakke]

(CW!! Smoking / substance abuse)

My headcanon’s for the mercs relationship with marijuana!!! :D

-Sniper is a stoner no one can tell me other wise. I just KNOW he is smokin that dank hydro zaza with Scout in his van. He seems like the type to only roll joints and blunts but if he gets his hand on a bong he’ll gluggluglgulg 💨 I could see him and Scout planning out a heist on a smoke shop tbh.

-Scout is a noob to smoking. He smokes from a small pipe or a one hitter. Something small he can shove in his bag or pocket. He also steals and begs for joints off of Sniper when he can because bro cannot roll a joint to save his life. He’s also spoiled and cannot be bothered to grind weed with his bare fingers he will whine and complain if he has to.

-Soldier has definitely smoked countless times by mistaking a joint for a hand rolled cigarette. Whenever he’s high he turns into a complete softy. Super affectionate and way calmer than usual. He feels comfortable spilling his guts out to anyone nearby and will most likely start crying and hugging them. Also whenever he gets the munchies he will fuck up a whole box of cereal by himself.

-Spy will smoke weed on occasion but it’s not his preferred substance. He’ll take one or two hits if Sniper passes him a lit joint but it’s not a usual occurrence. Spy definitely likes some edibles though. I could see him mixing some edible chocolate in his coffee on his day off or taking a gummy before bed to help him fall asleep.

-Medic is down for micro dosing some strong ass edibles. I could see him making a secret batch for himself and doing his best to hide them from everyone else. When high he is very giggly, docile and sleepy. He’ll mostly likely just pass tf out since he’s usually exhausted from carrying the whole squad on his back.

-Heavy is down for an edible on his day off and will only smoke on a festive occasion. It’s not really his thing. He prefers drinking and cigars. He more so enjoys watching Medic get high though. He adores watching his partner become so relaxed and giggly when high.

-Pyro does not smoke. He likes it when other’s smoke around him though because he gets to be the designated lighter for his teammates. He carries matches and a lighter on him at all times so Sniper, Scout & Spy usually scramble to find Pyro whenever they desperately need a lighter. He has definitely eaten an edible on accident though. When high this dude is glued to the sofa, completely inaudible and staring off into space. Just daydreaming away.

-Engie got hit with that anti drug religious propaganda so he is very paranoid and refuses to try it. He firmly believes it is the devils lettuce. However he doesn’t actively go out of his way to stop anyone from smoking it though. The most he does is grumble and lecture his teammates whenever they do some dumb ass shit when high. I could see him lecturing Scout about how he should not wake & bake. If he does get high it would be on accident from an edible. Whenever the evil zaza possesses this man he gets a severe case of the munchies. He also acts very flirtatious and overly confident when high.

-Demoman is an alcoholic. Scrumpy is his drug of choice. He doesn’t mess around with smoking weed or cigs. He definitely has taken an edible with Soldier though. I could see them both getting into some stupid shenanigans together while they’re tripping balls. Him & Soldier get the munchies, they go fix themselves a snack and it ends up with someone dying or them setting the whole kitchen on fire. When high he is a very slow talker and would most likely be glued to the sofa staring up at the ceiling for a solid hour.