#story: angst and the main couple are not together and they are pining and sad and its just sad

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Matters of the Heart Ep. 7

Pairing: Best friend! Yeonjun x gn. reader

Genre: Fluff; Angst; Maybe eventual smut

Content Warnings: University au!; lots pining; our main leads being stupid; I haven't planned smut for this one, but it might as well turn suggestive; breakup (a rather clean one though); confusion confusion and Yena being a sweetheart

Word Count: 1.84k words 

Mellow speaks:  Last leg of the story let's go! This is gonna be the last confusion of this story, I swear lol. Also, I couldn't stand the drama anymore either, so I decided to.....add a new drama!

Tagging: @sweethyuka @yedamology @enhacolor @axartia @hyunsuksmygod @yogurteume @duolingofanaccount @zurimochi @yogurteume @blahbluhblahbluh @yeonyeonyeonjun @yjs6x @silent--cry @delacyrose224 @rlajjunie @hotboyyeonjun @blue-last-page-514 @bluxjun @yutacchin @zen003xx @yawnzznlvr @magicalstudentwhispers @foryawnzzn @nyfwyeonjun @bluejin0812 @najaemin138 @laylasbunbunny @moaberryjjunie @robin-obsessed @calssunflower

(Taglist is open!! Send in an ask/dm to be added, or simply comment under this post!)

《Previous  Next》

It suddenly feels as if nothing has changed, that you never left. But even though that should be what makes you happy, you can't help feel a little twinge of guilt break through that happiness. With Yeonjun following you around like a puppy, just as he used to do before your trip to Australia, you have to say your days feel brighter than they had been feeling, your phone always blowing up with notifications from him, even though he sits not two steps away from you. He cares so much, making sure you're eating and not letting you out of his sight for more than a couple minutes, and it takes everything in you to not melt at his sweetness. 

It feels like you have him back, truly have your place in his life back at long last. And while it does warm your heart every time he puts his hands on your shoulders and matches his footsteps with yours, there's also this soft voice in the back of your mind. The voice that makes you look up from your place he shows you the trailer of your favorite actor's new movie on his phone, excitedly planning your movie night that's still months away. The voice that makes your eyes land on Yena, forcing herself to smile as she joins in on the conversation, nodding her head and laughing a little when she gets invited to the movie too. 

Yeah, Yeonjun is trying harder this time, instead of making half-assed attempts at keeping the both of you in his life. No, this time he's trying his best to make peace with the both of you, and you can see that from the way he way he's been making time for the both of you. If it's a froyo-date with you, then a study date is what Yena gets. If watching him practice is Yena's job, then watching him play losers' basketball with the guys every evening is yours. If he falls asleep on your shoulder, he makes it up to her by kissing her on the nose, and if she brings him some lunch, then you're the one he feeds the last pizza slice to. 

And when it's the three of you together in one room, you can finally say that your feelings are under control, that you don't feel as sad as you used to. Yet, it still unnerves you whenever you're left alone with him, the thoughts and memories from that night up in the infirmary rushing to your head and making you uneasy. You can't help but picture the way he had leaned in so close you could feel his hot breath on your lips, nor can you stop yourself from being drawn to the image of him saying that you're his priority. 

His words had had an odd effect on you back then, making your chest tighten and your toes curl as you had felt like a teenager in love all over again. You had wanted to talk to him more that night, had wanted to get answers to the questions that were brewing in your head. But as he had held your hand, smiling at you while imploring you to go back to sleep, you just couldn't find it in yourself to break the tranquil atmosphere that had settled around the pair of you. So you had stayed quiet, choosing to simply smile and let things be forgotten as a slip-up while you gave yourself a rest. 

But still, every time you end up being alone with him, those same thoughts waste not a second in overwhelming you, your mind playing tricks on you and making you see him staring at your lips when he most probably isn't.  "No," you try to tell yourself, "I must be dreaming. It was all a mistake. Yeonjun has feelings for Yena, we just messed up in that moment. That's all." That's the reasoning you give yourself every single time, completely deaf to the whirlwind of emotions the man seated beside you feels when he's with you. 

Yeah, he knows it was a mistake now. He knows he shouldn't have done that, and believe me when I say he's absolutely kicking himself for it. Not for leaning in to kiss you, though, that's the last thing he wants to be sorry for, because he knows that was the right thing to do. Of course, he feels guilty for almost having had cheated on his girlfriend, but he can't seem to bring himself to be sorry for admitting to his feelings at last, even if it's only to himself. 

Ever since that night, all he's been doing is try. Try to make himself love Yena like he's supposed to, try to feel as happy when he's with her as he feels with you. And by try, I mean that this time, he really has been giving it his all into making his relationship work, he's really been trying to be a decent boyfriend. And that's something everyone can see, including you and even Yena. But the one thing that no one sees, or if they do, they don't say a word. It's that the harder he's trying, the clearer it's becoming to him that he can't be a decent boyfriend. 

He's come to realize that having had said yes to Yena's confession had been nothing but a mistake, and he can tell that his efforts alone aren't going to work if he lacks a heart that beats for her. He's come to terms with the fact he needs to stop pretending things would end up any different, and he knows he needs to break up with Yena, and he needs to do it as soon as possible. He needs to give himself a chance at being happy with you, and he needs to stop leading that poor girl on for nothing. 

That's what he has in mind as he shows up to the orientation ceremony for the new semester, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he contemplates his plan of action. He's going to be calm about it, and he's going to accept the entire blame because he's the one at fault anyway. His so-called "plan of action," though, is nothing more than mere words of apology, because he knows that nothing he says is going to make a difference now. He can't do anything other than apologize. 

The thoughts swirling through his head, he only belatedly realizes that Yena has taken a seat next to him, a smile starting to play at his lips as he attempts, and fails, to make himself reach out for her hand one last time. But it's not like she seems hurt by that, and it's not like she even notices it, choosing instead to launch into a discussion about anything and everything. And he joins in too, finding himself at ease with the way things are going, laughing and treating her like a friend at least, if not a girlfriend.

But of course, that's the moment you decide to show up, the words dying inside Yeonjun's mouth as he finds himself struck speechless by your beauty. You're wearing a simple skirt, a crop top hugging your midriff and and a pair of sneakers completing your look. Nothing out of the ordinary, and yet, he can't bring himself to take his eyes off your form as you smile at him, taking a seat in the row behind his. That's his undoing, his mind wandering over to you and his heart aching to be closer to you as he finds his replies faltering, his attention getting diverted by you every few minutes as the ceremony begins. 

And in the end, it's with you he sits, his claims of wanting to discuss your presentation about Shake 'Em Up and the radio in general flying out to the wind as he can't keep himself from smiling as he talks to you about every topic under the sky, as if he hasn't seen you in years when in reality, it's been nothing more than a couple of hours. Yena sees it all, the hard gaze of her eyes betraying the thoughts in her head. "What thoughts?," you might be wondering, but the answer should be right in front of your eyes by now. 

Because what she's thinking about is not so different from what Yeonjun has been thinking all this time too. She's thinking about how hopeless things are, and how she needs her mental peace. It's these thoughts that are playing in her head even after the ceremony ends, and which make her call him out to the rooftop afterwards. "Won't take long," she says, eyeing your smiling faces with a......wistful? expression, you can't quite place. 

And true to her word, five minutes is all it takes her to break up with Yeonjun, getting the upper hand for once as she beats him at it. "It's obvious you love Y/N," are her words, catching Yeonjun by surprise as she smiles at him. "You two should be together, I'm sorry I came between your feelings for each other." He tries to open his mouth to speak, but before he can so much as get an ounce of apology out, she stops him. "Don't apologize, Y/N's the one you loved first, I should have seen it. I don't hold it against you, but I feel like I deserve to stop running after someone who will never feel the same way about me." 

That's the last thing she says before walking away, Yeonjun's "Sorry" and "I was a jerk to you, please don't ever forgive me," falling on her back. 

He feels awful, he really does. He knows he needs to set things right, but he also knows she deserves time alone, away from him and his jerk self. So he decides to talk to you first, and tell you what he really feels about you. He's happy that at least, he didn't cheat on her or do anything he knew he'd regret. But now he needs to come clean to you, needs to get you to see him. Reject him if you will, but he can't keep his feelings to himself anymore. So, he runs, once more. Runs faster than the wind, runs as fast as his feet would take him. Until he reaches you at last, sitting by yourself at your favorite cafeteria seat, just like you'd said you would. 

But just when he comes to a halt behind you, a smile on his face upon noticing that you haven't seen him yet, he hears your phone ring, and he watches you pick it up. He doesn't think much of it at first, but the longer you continue to talk, the deeper his heart sinks. 

"Hey sweetie!"

"Aww I miss you too! Wish you were here to watch out for me like you used to do."

"I love you too."

And that's when he realizes he doesn't know what to think anymore. 

[masschase]

shaunviola for the ask meme :]

Question ask meme (feel free to send more, I like this format)

YAY SHAUNVI!

When I started shipping it if I did:

Directly from tumblr! I think the first time would have been in a piece by iilovebeam though I think I saw other people's art of them too. I was just like OOH! Like I'd not really thought about it but the moment I did, I saw an interesting dynamic there.

My thoughts:

I mean I adore them. I make no secret of the fact I can sometimes end up a little bored once couples are together and there's no friction and so on. With Shaunvi there's a lot to play with. I think it was the first kind of secondary ship I decided to add to my fanfic, though I believe it wasn't the first to appear as I wrote everything so out of order.

What makes me happy about them:

They start from this place of a lot of tension established in canon, and I just love the idea of Viola having this attraction to Shaundi right off the bat but her being like... untouchable? Unavailable? Like she almost starts off a goal; a grown-up version of the more unusual girl trying to win the popular girl over as a friend, but it becomes more than that as she falls hard for her. From Shaundi's perspective there is this huge barrier though, she can't even allow herself to think about it because Viola is involved in Johnny's death. That barrier breaks in my hc when Shaundi finds out Johnny is actually alive, because that really was her sticking point above all else. From then on they start a rather intense relationship. I was going to say short but it's about a year long so short is pretty subjective. They're a bit on again off again after that; they fizzle out romantically but they remain friends and they also maintain this spark sexually.

What makes me sad about them:

Because my universe is canon obviously it's never going to work out because Viola dies 🥲 I obviously had that in mind when I decided not to have their relationship cover the whole 2016-2020 period because I think Shaundi would very much struggle to recover from that in a way my other characters who lose people have strong defences against. It also just didn't fit what I wanted for them, I wanted them intense and passionate and I think that either settles into something else or it ends.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

I mean I haven't actually read any fanfic that features them I don't think, I included them briefly in mine but didn't tag them as a pairing bc that would annoy me if they were tagged but not a main pairing and only in it for five seconds. Actually I wish I'd woven them into my own story in a more interesting way, but I was so far in when I came across the pairing. It kind of works though because we see Shaundi's disdain adapt quite suddenly after finding out about Johnny. I guess I wouldn't like to see anything too cheesy or boring for them? Nothing that's like love at first sight, instantly getting along when Viola joins because while canon devation is fine it would also remove a lot of what I like about them. I would accept a well written happy ever after for them! But they need some tension in the lead up. Obviously hc them however you want, this is just about what I'd personally enjoy reading! 😊

Things I look for in fanfic:

Honestly any interesting portrayal of the relationship would draw me in. I'm not super picky. I've not read fic of them but every angle I've seen for them on tumblr I've absolutely loved. Pining, angst, awkwardness, well written smut; a lot of standard things I like would work.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

So for main universe, Shasha (Shaundi x Asha) is something many of you know I have an interest in. I think they would have an interesting dynamic but plotting out an actual storyline for them is quite different. These things come with time for me though they just pop into my head at random times. If I don't find a route for them romantically I'd love to see them living together in a QPR type situation! I'm also a little... just a little curious about Shaundi x Kinzie. That would be more AU though, as would Shaundi x Casey. There are quite a few I can see for Shaundi.

As for Viola, main universe she's dead so I'm going to just go cracky and say Violin? Yeah I feel like some people are going to think "oh, well, you're the self-appointed ship name guy so you would", and... they have a point. 😆 It's really quite hypothetical as I don't really make anything with the afterlife, but if I did, there would have to be a heaven x hell ship. I think they'd kind of click. AU where she lives though? I'd say most likely an OC tbh. If Casey's the Boss it doesn't really fit for more than a fling type thing, but the idea of Viola x Boss really appeals to me for a more fitting Boss, because they gave her a pretty big chance in SR3 and I'd like to know what would come from that. Imagine the early days and them just being the one who's on her side, y'know? 🥲

My happily ever after for them:

So I guess in terms of what fits my mostly canon+ universe, I did have a possibility of Viola being in the pods after all due to a mix-up, very much a "here's how Shaunviola can still win" thing tbh. They could potentially be together on Ragnarok. But I guess I don't really see that theory as an actual part of my canon nowadays, and again, idk if I have a story for them there yet. If I do I'll likely share it 😊

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

I guess I see Shaundi as the big spoon most of the time. She's the more physical of the two but it's more than that. I just think Viola has this insecurity about whether Shaundi really cares for her and always will. When Shaundi holds her it just reinforces that this is all willing and that she loves her.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

So in my hc they both like to dance, that's a pretty straightforward one. I can see them going out while in the "off" phase of on/off and winding up slow dancing 🥲 I think they prefer nights out over nights in but maybe they would enjoy cooking together with a bottle of wine or two. I also have an image of them cycling out of town and looking down at everything from high places. I feel like it's easier for these two to find what they really cherish about each other when there's no distractions, just peace and quiet.

[clericbyers]

omg omg omg can i request from the prompt list 29 or 30 (whichever you prefer). I'm very curious to see what you think!! 👉👈

“Yo, bike wheels,” Max shouts right before tossing a bag of chips toward Mike’s head. He’s a little slow on the uptake and looks over just in time for the bag to smack him square in the face. Everyone else starts laughing while Mike’s sputtering, and Max leans back into El as she too can’t help her giggles.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me ‘bike wheels’?” Mike snaps back. He opens up the bag anyway and takes out a handful of chips before raising them up toward Will. Will whose lap Mike is currently resting his head on.

Will absentmindedly takes a few chips to his mouth, eyes glued to the novel in his right hand while his left hand returns to playing with Mike’s hair. It’s grossly domestic and Max is always wondering if they’re secretly together, but Will is starkly honest whenever he says that they aren’t. Max can tell he wants them to be though, so while the rest of the Party laughs and jokes about how affectionate Mike and Will are, she can’t quite muster up a full smile knowing Will wants more.

A soft kiss at the bottom of her ear pulls Max from her wandering thoughts and she turns to face her girlfriend fully. “You okay?” Max asks gently, reaching around to squeeze El’s hand for comfort.

El nods. “Yes. I am good.” The girl smiles and leans in to kiss Max’s nose. Max thinks El has a thing for freckles given her dating history so far. “Your nose was scrunched.”

El demonstrates Max’s expression and the redhead laughs. “Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Just thinking too hard.”

“You think now? That’s a first.”

“Shut it, Wheeler.”

“Yeah, shut it, Mike.” El giggles and wraps her arms around Max’s waist as she tucks her head in on her shoulder. “We’re talking between us girls right now.”

Mike makes a face and sticks his tongue out at El, who returns the gesture. They both giggle and Max once again feels so much relief that those two can still be friends despite the struggles they had with their final breakup. She remembers how much El sobbed in Max’s arms when she admitted that she didn’t love Mike like that anymore, how she felt like Mike didn’t love her anymore either. Max doesn’t hate Mike no matter how much of a dick he was to her when they met (and how much of an ass he still can be when he gets angry enough but she’s also a little rude in turn so it’s not purely Mike), but she was so angry at him for a while for breaking El’s heart. Turns out he was in a deep pit of self-hatred for falling out of love with El and into love with someone else. Unlike El though, his dumbass thought he didn’t have anyone to turn to and merely shut everyone out while trying to deal with his issues.

In a way, Max is also grateful for Will stepping up to the plate and helping Mike with whatever internal business was going on there. It was a bit of a scary time for the Party when Mike the chatterbox tuned out of life and stopped engaging (at least during summer ‘85 he was talking to people), and it incidentally made El feel worse about the whole situation even though she wasn’t at fault. But Max was there for El (even more once she broke things off with Lucas and he was really calm about that, what a kind soul) and Will was there for Mike. Max doesn’t know exactly what happened (she has her suspicions but it’s not really her business on Mike’s end of the breakup), but she found herself at the receiving end of a confession from El and well, here they are now four months later as girlfriends and Mike and El back to being friends.

Will places down his novel and leans back on his hands as he tilts his head up to the blue sky above. Max watches Mike, who was playing with the chip bag and now has his eyes cast on Will’s face. She watches his eyes carefully, how they soften and crinkle at the edges with a warmth she’d only seen directed at El before. She watches that warmth dissolve into something like fear. No, not quite fear. Anxiety, worry, disbelieve. Like he can’t quite believe not just what he’s seeing but what he’s feeling about what he sees. It’s gone in a flash and Mike rolls his eyes and turns back to the chip bag, though his mood already seems deflated as hell.

Will turns away from the sky with a low mumble that makes Mike chuckle and Max carefully watches Will too when the boy looks down. He takes his left hand back to Mike’s hair, but he’s so gentle about how his fingers tangle through those dark locks, how his lips pull into a frown filled with want and resignation. Max wonders if anyone else has noticed the way Mike and Will look at each other, or if she’s the only observant one in the group. Lucas and Dustin are typically often focused on other things when the Party is grouped together as a whole, but she’s sure Dustin of all people must have noticed by now.

She wonders if Mike and Will subconsciously notice the couple behavior they exhibit when they hang out with just Max and El like this.

When the sun starts to set, Mike and Will make their way back toward town. El wants to stay a little longer with Max, doesn’t want to go back to the Byers house where she’ll face her brothers and probably Mike if he didn’t go straight to the hotel room he’s sharing with Nancy while they visit.

“Do you notice it, too?” asks El in the silence of the incoming night.

Max shrugs and plays with her girlfriend’s fingers. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, babe.”

“Mike and Will.” she clarifies softly. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each other?”

“You know how boys are. Oblivious and never wanting to see the truth.” El laughs and twines her fingers with Max’s own. “Sometimes I look at them and wonder if we were like that, too.”

El quickly shakes her head. “No. I was not confused about how I feel about you. Only sad I was hurting Mike.” She presses a kiss to Max’s hair and sighs. “I don’t like seeing him hurt. How can I make it stop?”

“You can’t.” Max returns a little more gruff than intended. “I mean, you can’t make yourself stop caring and you can’t make him stop hurting himself over this either. If he doesn’t want to do anything about his feelings, that’s on him.”

“I feel like I should do more. Is it bad that I am happy and he is not?”

“Oh, he’s happy,” Max closes her eyes and lets the breeze pass through her hair. “He can love Will without hurting you. He’s just not the happiest he could be.”

“Yes.” There’s silence for a moment before El stands up. “I want to talk to him tonight. He should tell Will like I told you.” She points to herself and then holds out a hand for Max. Max takes it and also takes the kiss El gives her. “Thank you.”

Max hums against El’s lips. “For what?”

“For liking me, too.”

“You’re far too cute for me not to like, El.” The brunette giggles and pulls Max into a hug before they make their way toward town, too. “What are you gonna say to Mike?”

“That he’s strong and brave and amazing,” she starts with a sparkle in her eyes. It used to make Max annoyed when El would talk about the boy so positively and happily, but Max quickly realized it was the same as when she would talk about Lucas. They both still cared about their exes as good friends and talking about the boys nicely did no one any harm. “He’s really great, Max, he only needs to see that himself. And have courage to tell Will. So I’ll give it to him! That will be my ‘do more’.”

And a week later, when Max, El, Mike, and Will hike up into the hills for their sun-basking picnic hangout, Mike and Will are holding hands and trying to act like they aren’t blushing as furiously as they actually are. Max nudges El, who sends her a smirk, and they both spend the rest of the day trying to act like they aren’t waiting to see the new boyfriends attempt to discreetly pass off a whisper as a kiss to the ear.

[quillsanddaydreams]

teddy bear

fred weasley x reader

—author’s note: I really have no explanation for this except that I saw an old fic of mine and the idea just struck. This is a re-imagined version of 'don't say goodbye' from my main i.e. @with-love-anu Fred had been spending lesser and lesser time with you every day and you couldn't take it anymore.

—warning(s): mentions of food and drinks, break up, angst but it's hurt and comfort, low-key descriptions of anxiety attack. gender neutral!reader (pronouns haven't been used throughout the story) 

—wordcount: 2,190

The fire crackled orange and gold, painting the dark walls. You were sitting right beside the mantle looking at the wall ticking. It was 11:35pm. Fred should’ve been home hours ago.

Tilting your head, you ran your thumb through the sharp edge’s of the photo frame. Friendly— happy faces smiled back at you. It was you and Fred from your 6th year. He had an arm around you, kissing your cheek before winking at the camera. Oh you remembered that day. Vividly. The two of you had just started dating after months of pining. Fred had been an absolute sweetheart. One date led to the next and you didn’t realise you two had spent years together. From graduating from hogwarts, to working your way up on your jobs, moving in together… You were madly in love and nothing else seemed to have mattered.

Everything looked great. Looked. Your parents often told you about ichs. A common rash. Ignore it and it will go away. Scratch it, and it will make your life hell. They never told you however, how long it takes. And you had been shutting your eyes to this one far too long. Fred was never there. Never. Both of you had jobs. Demanding jobs. Yet it seemed Fred was the only one without a moment to spare.

Your morning began with you getting up and ready for your day. Freshening up, making breakfast for the two of you— storing Fred’s with a quick warming spell and a note because you knew you’ll be gone by the time he woke up. Never having the heart to rouse him you simply smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead, apprating to the ministry. When you came back, he would still be at the shop, working late into the night. Exhaustion caught you, you were unable to keep yourself from falling asleep after 12.

Heaving a sigh, you pushed your head back staring at the ceiling above. The thing was that you missed him. Terribly. You couldn’t even remember the time he held you, let alone ask about your day— it had been months. There had been a hundred times, sitting alone having dinner or seeing his side of the bed empty. Loneliness caught with you reminisened all the times he would pull you over his lap, pressing kisses all over your face. Telling you about the newest invention at his shop. All confrontations with him about the same had ended the same way. With him promising he would try. He never did.

Glancing at the clock again, you felt your body grow hot with anger. It was nearly midnight. You had left him a note to come home early that day. Promotion at work had flashed like the perfect occasion to catch up. Happiness had been bubbling through you all day. Although as time passed, your excitement dulled. The food turned cold and ice in the firewhiskey bucket had melted. Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt your stomach churn. There was a pop as the door opened to reveal a disheveled Fred. He gave you a small smile before moving straight towards the bedroom.

“Fred,” you called out, clearing your throat and wiping away the tears. Did he really not notice? “Did you get my note?”

“Hmm?” he said, shuffling through his drawer. “Oh! Yes I did, sorry but work came up love, couldn’t make it.”

You clenched your jaw.

“Work?” you asked, agitated. “What work keeps you out until midnight Fred?”

His answering sigh infuriated you further.

“You need to change your work schedule, Fred,” you said, crossing your arms. “George comes back to Angelina before 8. I’m sure you can manage before 9. I don't see you Fred. I don't get to talk to you or spend a moment with you. It's like I'm living alone— I spent more time with you before we moved in!”

Fred squeezed his eyes shut, tired.

“I’ll try, I promise,” he said after a minute. “Let’s eat first, shall we?”

“No, Fred. You promise me that every time,” you hissed. “I want you to tell me you’ll be home tomorrow before 9. Like a normal person.”

“What do you want me to do, huh?” Fred snapped. “I thought you would be more supportive of me and my business.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” you threatened. “I’ve been there for you every step of the way. What I am asking you is for you to take out some time for me. I need you to be there for me too!”

“Well excuse me for wanting to earn enough money for our future. For wishing you didn’t have to work to live a happy life.”

“Fred,” you said, your voice a dangerous whisper. “You know exactly how much I love my job. I’ve always been happy working. What has gotten into you? You were always so supportive of me!”

Something crossed Fred’s eye and he took a step back, shaking himself. He took a deep breath.

“Listen,” Fred said calmly. “It’s late now, we can talk about it tomorrow.”

“When, Fred? When? In the morning, when you are asleep or at night which is the time right now?”

Fred remained silent. It felt like you were bursting. All the frustration, sadness and disappointment poured in.

“It hurts, Fred. It hurts and it feels like I’m alone in this. People ask me how we are doing and I don’t know what to tell them. I have no idea what’s going on with the person I live with. I don’t even know where our relationship is goin—”

“You know what?” Fred said, finally losing his cool, throwing his hands in the air. “If you feel so alone, maybe you wouldn’t find a difference if we even separate.”

You gasped.

“I’m going to give you a moment to take that back,” you hushed. Fred crossed his arms. “Think about it before telling me you meant it.”

“Listen, you know I put my work above anything else,” he said, gritting his teeth. “I’ve always wanted to be rich enough so people like Malfoy wouldn’t dare to insult me or my family. That shop. It’s my life. It’s everything that lets me afford the things I never could.”

“So the shop’s more important to you than having me stay?” you said, your throat heavy. Digging your nails into the palm of your hand you searched Fred’s face. The face you had fallen in love with, the one that didn’t quite meet your eyes now which forebode tears. No you couldn’t cry now. Not when he disregarded your job you had been so passionate about, not when his status in life was more important to him. When Fred didn’t say anything, you let out a dry laugh. Shaking your head you moved towards your wardrobe, your head thumping. You took out a couple of your clothes, money and some documents, packing up a bag. Fred stared at you wide eyed as you went for the door.

“What are you doing?” he demanded as you opened the door moving out.

“Well, since you don’t care if we separate and your shop is the only thing you’re living for; it only seems fair that I leave,” you said, furiously rubbing away the tear that fell down your cheek. “Oh and Weasley? I hope you become the wealthiest wizard in the country.”

The last thing you saw was Fred’s shook form before a familiar house came into view. Knocking on your best friend’s door, you wondered whether you should have taken a hotel. It was very late after all. Before you could turn back and leave, Ruhaan opened up. He looked sleepy but his expression changed on seeing you.

“Hey, are you alright? What’s the—”

“Can I stay here tonight?” you blurted. “I’ll crash on the couch... ”

Ruhaan wrapped an arm around your shoulder, leading you in.

“Of course you can,” he said as your throat felt heavy. “You’re always welcome here, what happened?”

“I… we broke up,” you croaked. Admitting things aloud often made things real. Stating your breakup to Ruhaan made you really assess the situation. Blood rushed to your head as you realised you really just left back someone you had loved for six long years. Still did. Your legs wobbled making you lose your balance but Ruhaan held you steady.

“I can’t believe it… I… love him…” you gulped.

“Let me first get you some tea,” he said, rubbing your sides.

-♡♡♡-

Fred was a mess. He fell on the floor with a thump, realising what happened moments ago. You left. The person he had loved all his life had left him. And it was his fault. All those months he had been trying to get the latest product to work. George had given up on it long ago knowing well how dangerous it was to work on. Yet he stood back, working extra hours determined to get it done. It made him lose sight of what was important, you. His heart constricted as he felt like he couldn’t breath. Hot tears fell down his cheeks as he let out a frustrated shout. He had finally lost everything.

For the next few days, Fred worked as an auto pilot. Numbness had caught up to him. He couldn’t bring himself to eat or sleep. Your thoughts plagued him. It was like he was watching your face fall as you moved out over and over again. The apartment felt devoid of spirit— dark and cold. Fred missed you, your smile as he sleepily joined you in bed, pulling you closer; your notes with little doodles telling him to take care… George vaguely knew about what happened, he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. Visits to your best friend’s place have always gone the same. Ruhaan told him you weren’t there.

Fred wanted— needed you. He loved you. Always did. And he would be damned if he failed to show you. Again. Washing his face, he apparated to Ruhaan’s door again. Biting the inside of his cheek, he waited as a familiar face came into view sighing on spotting him.

“Fred,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I’ve told you…”

“Please,” he said, cutting him off. “Please, I know what I’ve done. Terrible won’t start to describe it. Just give me a chance to talk. I won’t push. I won’t. I am really ashamed of the things I did. At least let me make it right…”

Ruhaan searched his face, mentally debating with himself. Fred was pleading, begging. He would do anything to make this right.

“Alright, don’t screw this up,” Ruhaan said, ushering him in directing him towards your room. “The first door on the right.”

Fred nodded, moving briskly to where he indicated. Heart pounding, he knocked. Your voice came throaty, calling him in. When he saw you, his breath caught up. You looked terrible. Dark circles under red puffy eyes, nestled up in blankets. Noticing him, you sat up straighter.

“I told Ruhaan I didn’t want to see you,” you muttered. Fred moved to sit beside you. You looked away.

“I…” he began, not finding the correct words. “I brought this for you…”

He fished out a small box out of his pocket, handing it to you. It transformed into a teddy bear as the pack touched you, splaying itself over your hand like a rock. You narrowed your eyes at Fred.

“I’ve been working on this in secret for the last six months,” he rasped. “A teddy bear for blue days. The more I worked on it, the stiffer it became. I could not imagine what exactly I was doing wrong. I tried charming it, transforming it, twisting and twerking it around...”

“Fred,” you said, cutting him off. He blinked as streaks of heavy tears fell down his cheek.

“I was so fucking angry and determined to make it work that I couldn’t see anything else than that,” he sobbed. “I’ve said and done things that I couldn’t forgive myself for. I’ve made promises I never followed and I’ve let you go. I… I know that there is no reason for you to even hear me out right now. But I can’t lose you. I can’t… I can’t. I’ll do whatever it takes to have you back but I don’t want to say goodbye to the best thing in my life. Please. You don’t have to excuse me but give me one opportunity to make it up to you.”

You inhaled sharply.

“You’ll come home before 9?” you asked.

“At seven everyday.”

“You’ll spare time for me?”

“Dates every other weekend.”

“You’ll cook everything for the next 3 weeks?” you said as Fred let out a breathy chuckle.

“Only your favourites.”

You looked at his face, wet from crying. Eyes praying for your answer.

“You’ll kiss me right now?” you said as a dull surprise crossed his face. He cradled your face, kissing you softly. You closed your eyes, body relaxing for the first time in days.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice low. You held his hand, squeezing it.

“I know.”

—as for the taglist: I don’t make taglists, I have a blog @from-my-quill ​ which is updated whenever I post fanfiction. You could have the notifications on for it and it will work just like me tagging you.

⟨⟨REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK ARE APPRECIATED⟩⟩

[absolutebl]

Hi! I’m reaching the end of my list of old BL to watch and need some advice - should I bother with any of these? Second Chance, Siew Sum Noi, Love Area, Top Secret Together? Thanks!

Oh this is fun! Thanks for the ask.

Should you bother watching: Second Chance, Siew Sum Noi, Love Area, Top Secret Together?

It's gonna be a matter of taste. So I'll present in order of worst to best in my personal opinion. But remember, I LIKE Make it Right and the Thai pulps so, here we go...

Love Area Part 1 - Don’t Bother

It stopped half way through on a cliff hanger. So don't bother until it finishes its run next year (if that happens at all). The first half isn't worth it for having to wait around for the second. I haven’t reviewed it yet since I consider it incomplete. 

Siew Sum Noi - Maybe watch it?

My rating: 5/10

Foundational Romance Tropes: enemies to lovers, fake relationship, one sided crush

Better then we have a right to expect from this sort of pulp, especially if you can make it through ep 4. It deals with classism, accents, and northern life over a range of household types with some very cute side couples. There’s even an out gay character. The seme is great at pining and has (what my friends and I have always called) “trust fund inconsistency” which is to say he’s a rich kid with no sicking power, especially not where careers and jobs are concerned. I’ve never seen this portrayed in BL before. Only the uke didn’t do work for me (too tsundere without purpose or reason) add to that the terrible singing in every single episode and I’ve settled into “cute, just not actually very good.” 

I watched it grey with terrible subs so that also might make a difference if you can find it legitimate somewhere. 

Top Secret Together - Watch it for a few good reasons? 

My rating: 5/10

Foundational Romance Tropes: lots of them plus boss/employee and several grumpy/sunshine pairs with puppy elements

Review: This started off as THE cutest little office set pulp with too many adorable couples plus gay advice dads and it charmed the pants off of me (if none of the characters). It also hit up a lot of new (positive) Thai tropes we were just starting to see at the time like office setting, cafe setting, queer rep, depicted consent, and ukes with agency. So it could be called a trend setter. But it lost its way half way through (probably a lockdown victim), becoming an unbearably slow, disjointed, shambling, sappy, ill-edited sad sack with only one interesting couple (CopyNampu). I can’t in good conscious suggest anyone actually watch this, but I did love that one side dish so much I went and made myself a bootleg edit of just them. 

It is notable for being the very first BL to feature an actual out gay couple: Newyear & Both. So, historically, it is quite significant. The actors all do their best and are very earnest, and there are some kisses which are okay, but we are squarely in Thai BL pulpland. 

Second Chance - Yes, Watch It 

My rating: 7/10

Foundational Romance Tropes? Friends to lovers

Review: This was one of best pulps in 2021 - it brought us back into the high school sphere and YA angst in a big way. All three couples had good chemistry (half the main cast was already comfortable with BL) and while there wasn’t much story, mostly just teen angst, the acting and production values were decent enough for this sub genre. (Full review here.) 

Other reasons to watch? Stars familiar side pair of MawinRun from TharnType finally getting together. Also stars Tong (Tharn’s older brother, and about to be one of the mafia brothers in KinnPorsche), he’s good, a very watchable screen presence, and so is his pairing. Features the “ending at a prom” trope which is a hallmark of teen YA out of the USA but almost never seen in BL, so the novelty is fun. Also, all the kisses are EXCELLENT. 

[smallraindrops-blog]

Okay, now that I’ve had more time to think about it (just woke up when I saw your post lol) I had an idea that could work. So Y/N does spray painting right? So that in mind and spray painting usually being illegal, he probably gets brought home by police a couple times a month and gets grounded only to have someone (probably Zag) break him out of the house at night, since they’re both rebellious.

Because Tomorrow I'll Be Nothing

Word count: 5.4k

Rating: M

Hypnos x Male!reader (mutual pining, both thinking their crush is one-sided.).

Warning (for the whole series):

family issues, bullying, medical issues, death (none the main characters or reader), drug use, relationship with Ocs, angst, sexual content, language, cops, therapy, mentions of other pairings.  No beta.

A/N: hello! Sorry about the wait! For those who may not know this is the same Y/N from Wake Me From This Dreaming, however due to being modern times, he is a little different but still the same at his core.

For context, he is still adopted like the original. Achilles and Patroclus cut off most of their family and got married under a different last name.

The family last name: Onasis means 'lover'.

Also just stay away from cops.

To the Anon who sent me the modern ask, thank you and I hope you like this!

~

You tugged down your face mask, savoring the winter air on your skin and took a step back to admire your latest handiwork.

Normally you liked working with bright colors, and working the art into its environment, working the cracks or whatever plant life was nearby to merge together into one artwork. Or using blank walls to play with colors and shapes to form names or places.

But god, there just something so satisfying about spray painting a butch of dicks with hairy balls over the stupidly huge Homeowners Association Sign.

‘Good, those useless fuckers had it coming.’  You spinner the can in your hand, considering adding a bubble letters ‘Fuck You.’ Maybe if you could make it look like dicks...

Suddenly a bright light lit up behind you and a harsh voice spoke, “Hands where I can see them!”

You swore and dropped the can as you lifted both arms up in the air.

~

You and Zagreus met Thanatos when he was four. Zagreus had been the same age and had dragged Thanatos over to you to start a game of kickball.

You were five years old, the oldest and biggest boy of the group and the one in charge.

You didn't know Thanatos had a twin until a year later. His house had the biggest backyard so it had quickly became the hangout.

You kicked the ball to Zagreus, "Kick it with the side of your foot!" You yelled. The ball had arched high into the sky and your eyes followed it and that when you saw him for the first time.

Messy, white curls on a thin face. Golden eyes blinked down at you from the second story's window and you stared back.

Slowly he waved at you, and you forgot about the game for a moment.

You waved back, confused about this boy who you never saw before that lived in your friend Thanatos' house.

You didn't see the ball incoming.

When you got home, dirty with mud and grass stains and a black eye; You told Patroclus about the strange boy at Thanatos' house.

Patroclus blinked down at you, holding a bag of frozen peas on your black eye.

"A little boy?" Patroclus muttered. You nodded, "He had curls but his hair was white like Than."

"Ah. That must have been Hypnos." Patroclus placed a hand on your head to stop your nodding.

"Yeah! Than said he can't play with us though." You said, frowning at the memory. Hypnos had ducked back inside and you wanted to bring him out, to see the strange boy again.

Patroclus sighed, he got that sad look adults get sometimes in his dark eyes. "Hypnos isn't like you or me. He was born very small and sickly. He needs rest, so he can get big like you."

You said nothing, mulling over his words. You forgot everything the moment you heard Achilles' car arrive in the driveway. You ran off even as Patroclus called you back and busted out of the front door to greet your dad.

Only later at bed time, when you were staring at the glow-in-dark stars on your ceiling, did you think of Hypnos again.

You wonder if he would like glowing stars to look at too.

~

"Unbelievable! This is the fourth time this month! And after that prank you pulled at the school." Achilles paced the living room floor, his voice hoarse from the yelling.

It had been a very long two hours for all of you.

Patroclus sat in the armchair across from you, quiet and not looking at either you or Achilles.

You shifted on your feet, hands shoved in your letterman jacket, you weren’t going to sit down so it would be even easier for Achilles to yell at you. You stared at the fireplace, not even gracing them with a look.

“We did everything right by you, lad. We gave you everything so you could be successful. And this is how you repay us, by acting out like some punk! Do you want to lose your scholarships?”

“I didn’t ask you for anything! I never had!” You snapped back and Achilles stormed over, his blue eyes furious and cold on yours.

“You will not speak to me like-“

“You didn’t have to ask, Y/N.” Patroclus’ voice cut through the air, quiet in the storm between you and Achilles.

Father and son both turned to Patroclus who continued, his dark eyes hard. “We wanted you to have everything we could give you, Y/N. And we expect nothing in return.”

Just like that, Achilles slumped with a sigh. All the rage seemed to slip away from him and all was left quiet disappointment.

For some reasons, the disappointment stung more.

You crossed your arms, not sure what to say or do. It was one thing to fight with Achilles, but You didn’t want to fight your Pa.

Achilles walked over to stand behind Patroclus, placing both hands on his shoulders and you saw Achilles gave a gentle squeeze to comfort him.

You looked away.

Silence overtook the home, almost harsh after the hours of yelling and fighting.

“You’re grounded for the next four months.” Achilles spoke into the still air, “No tv, no parties, no car and no phone. Understood?”

You opened your mouth but shut it after you saw the tired look on Patroclus' face.

You threw up your arms and stormed off to your room.

~

The high school ground was crowded like usual, with students and teachers. You placed your uniform blazer on the bench along with your bag and jacket.

You tossed the baseball skyward and caught it, you kept up this game until you heard Zagreus' call for you.

You caught the baseball before turning to wave him over.

"Where have you been man?" Zagreus tossed his bag next to yours. "I've been texting you like crazy."

"Grounded." You tossed the ball to him, taking several steps back.

"Again? What for?" Zagreus rolled the ball in his hand, before tossing it towards you.

"Cops caught me spray painting the HOA sign. With dicks on it." You said as you returned the ball

Zagreus laughed, "Oh that was you? My dad was pissed when he saw that."

You laughed along with him, glad it was the cops that caught you and not Hades.

The older cop knew who you were the moment he saw your face. You had been the reason his old high school team made it to state for the first since Achilles was in school, and let you off with a slap on the wrist.

Hades wouldn't have cared. He would have personally dragged you back to your parents and helped them ground you.

Zagreus looked away, back to you then his head whipped back to whatever caught his attention and dropped the ball.  He ran over to grab his bag and took off.

"Zag! Where are you going?" You yelled as you grabbed the ball before it rolled off.

Very faintly, you heard "Meg!" And you rolled your eyes. "Don't forget to come up for air, you dingdong." You muttered to yourself.

You pulled your blazer back on, followed your jacket. You started to make your way over the stairs to the school.

You almost didn't hear it over the noise of the student body.

"Give it back, come on. What are we middle schoolers?" Hypnos' voice drifted over to you.

Without a thought, you turned on your heel and followed the sound of Hypnos' voice. It had become ingrained in you since you were a child.

It was easy to find them, just barely hidden by the bushes but you held back. You should let Hypnos fight his own battles. Even if you didn't want to leave him on his own.

"Come on, shrimp. Just reach up and grab it." Josh, one of Theseus' junior players, held Hypnos' backpack above his head.

"Are we really doing this? A reenactment of cheesy nineties' anti bullying special?" Hypnos laughed but you could hear the nervousness.

Josh frowned, "A what?"

Hypnos waved a hand, "You know those old clips of groups of kids making another kid cry, hitting them, name calling…" Hypnos trailed off. "You know what nevermind, you won't get it."

"Are you calling me stupid?" Josh scowled, grabbed Hypnos by his hoodie and pulled Hypnos toward him.

Alright that was enough.

"Josh!" You barked and it startled him enough that he both let Hypnos go and dropped the backpack.

You yanked Josh by his collar, and shoved him away. "Shouldn't you be busy brown-nosing Theseus?"

"Fuck off man, we were just playing around." Josh fixed his jacket, glaring at Hypnos as he left.

You waited to make sure Josh left before turning to Hypnos. You scanned him but only for any scratches or bruises.

Hypnos wasn't as small as people made him out to be, he was more slender than anything else but you held your tongue.

You doubted Hypnos would appreciate you pointing anything out right now.

Hypnos slung his backpack over his shoulders, just as red as his zip up hoodie. And finally those golden eyes glanced up at you, "Not that I mind you playing knight in shining armor, but I had it under control." Hypnos told you.

You raised a doubtful eyebrow, letting silence speak for you.

"I did!" Hypnos pouted. And you reminded yourself that this was Thanatos' little brother and very firmly on the do not touch list.

"Come on, I will walk you to class, Hypnos." You begin walking off, trusting that Hypnos will follow you.

You heard a mutter behind you but Hypnos caught up to you easily.

You moved past the crowd easily, leaving a path for Hypnos. When you got to Hypnos' class, he moved past you, paused and said, "Thanks I mean it." And took off before you say anything.

"Yeah no problem." You told the empty air before hurrying to your own class.

~

When Zagreus was old enough to attend school, you were put in charge of him.

Which meant holding his hand as you crossed the road, no matter how sticky his hands were.  They were always sticky somehow, you grimaced as you walked across the street. The crossing guard, a plump middle age mom who always smiled at each child, waved you on.

Zagreus paid no attention, the journey to school was still new to him. His head was constantly moving, trying to soak in the sight of new houses, new cars and new people.

You took it, studying it. "I don't know. Maybe." And returned it to Zagreus, who stuffed it in his pocket.

"Do you think Thanatos will be here? His mom said they are changing schools." He asked, stopping you both to pick up a rock he found. He held it up to you to look at the gray rock.

"Come on, we're gonna be late." You tugged on him to get moving.

The school building was full and bright and loud as always. One of the teachers, Mr. Chiron greeted you both at the door. His brown eyes were warm and friendly as he bent down to greet Zagreus.

Zagreus wasn't shy and promptly dropped your hands and took Chiron's, who kept smiling even with Zagreus' sticky and sweaty hand touching his. You rubbed your hands on your pants, glad for the break.

"Y/N. I trust you remembered where the kindergarten room is?" Chiron asked.

You nodded and reclaimed Zagreus' hand, "Yes, sir." And tugged Zagreus away, who just twisted his body somehow to keep waving at Chiron.

The first thing you saw when you got to kindergarten was Thanatos who stood outside the door, unsure of himself. And the strange little boy that you saw held his hand just as Zagreus held yours.

"Than!" And just like that Zagreus took off. You rolled your eyes as you walked over much more calmly. Hypnos ducked behind Thanatos, his golden eyes wide.

He was smaller than even Zagreus, and clearly overwhelmed from all the excitement around him.  He whispered something you couldn't hear.

Thanatos frowned, "Hypnos, Mama said you have to."

Zagreus peeked behind Thanatos, trying to get a better look at Hypnos. A friendly smile on his face even at the boy who wouldn't look at him. You understood the urge, Hypnos was often away at doctors or in his bedroom resting. It was a rare sight to see him at all.

But you were older and knew better so you pulled Zagreus away.

"Dad said we have to respect people's bubble, Zag." You told him firmly.

The teacher came out to fetch the last reminding students and with a pat on your shoulder, she sent you on your way.

Only stopping to look back, Zagreus had already gone into the classroom. Hypnos was the last one to go in, small and quiet among the loudness of his classmates.

~

You woke up from a dead sleep, blinking at the ancient Greece textbook you were sleeping on when you heard it again. A small rock hit your window and you walked over, peering into the darkness.

From behind Patroclus' prized rose bushes, Zagreus popped his head up and waves at you. He disappeared for a moment before he held up a set of keys.

You nodded, and quietly put on your letterman jacket and mask. You opened the window and waited making sure you didn't hear your parents.

The only sound of the house was the tv and you were willing to bet they fell asleep on the couch together.

You climbed down and met Zagreus. You both leaped over the fence and made your way to Zagreus' car.

"Here I got you one of my old phones." Zagreus handed an ancient smartphone, more bulky than your normal one but you would take it over the burner flip phone your parents gave you.

"Thanks." You muttered, unlocking the screen.

"Junk yard?" Zagreus asked.

"Sounds good. Are the rest of the guys going to be there?"

"Nah, bro. I need a break from them." Zagreus muttered.

You didn't notice until you were halfway there, that Zagreus wasn't chatting like usual.

You glanced at him, he wasn't even doing his wheel drumming.

"What eating you?" You leaned over to turn off the horrible pop music he favored.

"What? Nothing-" Zagreus tried to play it off but one look from you shut him up.

"I hate it when you do that look." Zagreus muttered. "It's bad enough when Uncle Patroclus does it."

You just waited for Zagreus to continue. He sighed as he stopped by a red light.

"Than and I had an argument." Zagreus said, rubbing his neck. "He isn't happy that I've been hanging out with you."

You rolled your eyes, "He does know that you're my parents' second child right? We have baby photos of you on the wall."

"I told him!" Zagreus said, waving a hand as the light turned green. "I think he is just worried that I will get put in jail or something."

"Or something." You muttered.

Zagreus took another turn before he spoke up again, "Remember how we used to all be friends? We would play like every day-"

"Dude, not this again." You groaned, "Not my fault Thanatos went and put a stick up his ass."

Zagreus frowned, "Hey, I know you guys don't get along but you don't have to talk about him like that."

You huffed, "Sorry."

The off beaten path to the junkyard sign appeared and Zagreus drove down the dark road and parked behind the bushes.

You got out, and Zagreus got the metal bats out of the car. Both grinning at the chaos that awaited you.

~

The first fight you ever got in was on the elementary school playground during recess. The school only had all the grades play together on Friday, other times it was separated by grade.

Zagreus quickly took to his classmates and was in the middle of a kickball game along with Thanatos.

You stayed at the top of the steps, trying to find Hypnos. This would be your first chance to really meet Hypnos since you and Zagrues walked home, while the twins took the bus.

You didn't know why you wanted to find the strange boy who was more like a ghost than a human. You just knew you wanted to. You thought maybe he stayed inside until you spied him alone in the sandbox.

You hurried over, slowing down when you got close and coming to a full stop at the wooden edge of the sandbox.  When he looked up at you, you said the first thing that came to mind.

"You look like an owl." You said.

He blinked at you, golden and bright. "Is that a good thing?" His voice was quiet among the screaming children.

You shrugged,  "I think so. I like owls. Can I play with you?"

Hypnos didn't say anything and you tighten your hands into fists, suddenly nervous.

"Okay. I'm building a castle." Hypnos said and you grinned, "I can do that." And you joined him among the sand.

You and him actually had a decent castle forming. He was quiet mostly, only giving you a gentle order here or there. You followed, Hypnos clearly knew how to build much better castles than you did. Your castle usually came out half broken.

He stopped for a moment, a yellow bucket in front of him and he glanced at you.

"I saw the ball hit you in the face." Hypnos said.

You smiled at the memory of Achilles’ face when he saw you rushing out to him, your eye still swollen shut and with a manic grin. "Yeah, Dad was surprised when he saw my black eye."

"Next time you might want to move out of the way." Hypnos said, his voice actually a normal volume for the first time.

You stared, surprised at the bluntness. Then you laughed.

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea." You said as you grinned at him. Hypnos smiled back, nervous but happy.

Theseus, known bully and someone you tried to stay away from, came up from behind Hypnos and before you could even blink, he shoved Hypnos into the sand castle you built together and his face into the yellow bucket.

The last thing you remembered was how the sand covered Hypnos's face as he pushed himself up and the tears you saw forming in his eyes. Then you saw the blood coming from his busted lip.

You don't remember what happened afterwards.

~

The Ford truck window shattered in bits and you cheered, almost howling in the night winter air.

Zagreus wasn't far behind, his laughter contagious. And you loved your little brother so much at this moment.

The junk yard was so much more. You could forget everything here, the disappointment you became towards your parents, the lack of a future you saw ahead of you and the fact that you felt like you were burning too bright but couldn't stop it.

You remembered how Achilles was a superhero in his own right, before the career ending injury that took him out and how he blindly was sending you along the same path of failure.

Or how Patroclus was trying to hold the family together with two storms brewing and ready to tear each other apart and how he was the only one who wanted to stay together.

When the glass broke under your baseball bat it was easy to forget all of it.

You spied a vase that managed to stay together even in the pits. You picked it up, tossed it to air and shattered it when it fell close enough.

Zagreus whooped and jumped from the broken down jeep that had existed before you or him were even born.

That when you heard it.

The sound of a police siren. The owner must have called them.

You grabbed Zagreus by his arm and pulled him along with you. Whatever, Thanatos thought of you, he should've known better than to think you would ever let anything happen to Zagreus.

"Run! Fucking run!" You yelled and Zagreus obeyed you thank the gods.

He got to the car before you did. You saw him look at you but you shook your head and ran back to get closer to police.

You heard Zagreus backed out, you and him both knew what Hades would do to him would be far worse if Zagreus got caught.

You jumped on a pile of junk and cupped your hands around your mouth and yelled, “Hey oink oink! Hey!”

You saw the cops before they saw you as they rounded the corner. “Hey piggies!” You yelled, grin manic and sharp.

You took off to the wood with a wave with the sound of two cops calling for you and flashlights following you.

~

Achilles looked out of place in your classroom, strong and regal in a way normal people weren't. Your teacher and principal both looked at each other, not expecting Achilles, world famous track and baseball star, to be the parent to come in.

Your teacher coughed, loud in the quiet classroom. You stared down to your feet, not used to being in trouble. Theseus wasn't able to hurt you much, just bruises here or there. You however were able to knock a tooth out.

You peeked up at Achilles, trying to see how angry he was. His face was calm but there was tightness around his lips.

“Mr.Onassis, I hope you know that our school places a high value on peace and being kind to others. We have a zero tolerance for any kind of fighting.” the principal pushed up his glasses, frowning at you.

“Yes, absolutely.” Achilles said, “But from what my son had told me, he was stopping another boy hurting his friend. Shouldn’t you be speaking to that boy’s parents as well?”

“I- well, yes and we will be.” The principal stumbled over his words, “But Y/N here was able to knock the boy’s teeth out-“

“A tooth.” You muttered, glaring at the principal. “Just the one.”

Achilles raised an eyebrow, and you went back to staring at your feet.

The principal sighed, “We expect Y/N to apologize to the other student, and for him to spend time talking to the counselor during recess.”

“I won’t.” You jut out your chin, eyes back on the principal. “Not until he says sorry to Hypnos. And mean it.”

“Y/N-“ Achilles started but you turned to Achilles, pleading to him. “That other kid knew it would hurt Hypnos, he was way bigger!”

Achilles placed a hand on your shoulders, gentle and warm. He looked at the principal and teacher, “I trust that the other boy will make an apology to my son's friend.”

“Well, no. He didn’t know it would hurt Hypnos, he was just rough housing.” The teacher spoke up.

“He was lying!” You cried, anger flushed on your cheeks. “He knew, he pushed Hypnos without warning him. Everyone knows Hypnos isn’t like us.”

Achilles shushed you, and you took a gulping breath, trying to calm yourself down.

Achilles scowled at the other adults, and you saw them flitched back. “Y/n will not have to apologize to anyone. Not yet. I will be taking my son home right now. I expect us to have another meeting with the other boy’s parents when they are available.”

And with that, Achilles took your hand and left.

~

You were able to lose the cops, and shot off a text to Zagrues. The phone was bright in the darkness and you moved past the bushes and trees into a park. The sidewalk was lit only by a few path lights but it was enough for you to comfortably see.

‘Lost them. See you twm.’ You typed quickly. Before you could even put the phone away, Zagreus replied.

‘Dude! Just jump in the car next time!’ Followed by a line of frowning and mad emojis.

‘Nah, I needed the workout.’ You replied and didn’t bother to check Zagrues’ response to that.  You didn't tell him that you couldn’t risk the cops getting a hold of the car plates. Hades was a mean son of a bitch and Zagrues didn’t need Hades upset at him.

You walked along the path, wishing you had music. You sighed, shoving your hands in your jacket pockets, you will have to pay Zagreus to replace the baseball you tossed to get the cops off your trail.

At least you got to do something fun before the cop showed up. You normally didn’t have so many run-ins with the cops but this hasn't been your month.

You saw the playground up ahead and heard the sound of a swing moving. You tensed up, sure you were out at one in the morning but that didn’t mean you wanted to deal with whatever freak was out with you.

You picked up your pace, eyes firmly forward. You glanced just to check they wouldn’t follow you and froze.

You would recognize those messy white curls anywhere, would recognize him anywhere.

Hypnos’ legs dangled, lazily pushing himself on the swing. His phone in his gloved hand, and his red hoodie zipped up all the way. His cheek squished against the metal rope, both cheeks flushed from the cold.

You stepped toward him before you even realized you did. The crushing sound of your steps on the playground’s wood chips made Hypnos looked up, golden eyes widened in surprise.

He yelped and tipped back on the swing, landing on the ground with a dull thud. You ran over, and bent down on your knee to check on him. He pushed himself on his hands, and rubbed the back of his head.

Hypnos blinked at you, “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” You told him. You offered a hand to help him up. Hypnos took the offer and you pulled him along with yourself.

The moonlight was generous to Hypnos, making his white curls look like a halo and his eyes bright.  Your chest fluttered at the sight of him.

You let go of his hand when he glanced down at it, realizing you were holding on too long.

“Does Thanatos know you’re out here?” You asked, forcing yourself to take a step back.

Hypnos rolled his eyes, “No. And you, mister night stalker, are not going to tell him.” He poked you in the chest to make his point.

You held up your hands, a grin tugging at your mouth. “I won’t tell on you if you don’t tell on me.”

Hypnos nodded, “Good. I’m glad we have an agreement.” He blew a curl from his eyes, his breath coming out white in the cold air.

“But seriously, why are you here at the playground in the middle of the night?” You asked, shoving your hands into pockets.

Hypnos bit his lip, debating if he wanted to tell you. You shifted on your feet, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Hypnos sighed, “I just needed to get out. You know what I mean?” And you nodded, “Sounds crazy but yes.”

Hypnos chuckled, a slight smile on his lips. “Is that why you were out?”

You shrugged, “Zag and I were just hanging out.”

Hypnos looked at you, “Just hanging out?”

“In the junkyard. Breaking shit.” You muttered, suddenly feeling childish admitting such a thing.

Hypnos laughed, his smile growing. He sat down on the swing, facing you. "Do you just go in there and break stuff?"

You joined him on the other swing, "It's fun. I can bring you along next time."

"Nah, I can do without the super fun tetanus shots." Hypnos kicked the ground, swaying in the swing. "Although if my brother keeps nagging me, I might join you."

You hummed, not saying anything else. Hypnos didn't seem to mind the silence as he picked up speed on the swing.

"Do you come here often?" You watched him slow down and twisted the swing a few times.

"Not really. You know since there are murderers, crazies and big jocks roaming about." He gave you a pointed look, and you scoffed.

"I usually just chill at home but I just felt like coming out tonight." Hypnos stopped twisting around and let the swing spin him around with a whoop.

You chuckled, Hypnos was still the same as you knew him. Still boyishly charming, even now.

Hypnos sighed, a smile still on his face. "It's nice getting to actually talk to you again, outside of the rescue missions I mean. It is almost a shame that Zagreus and my brother aren't here. Oh and Meg and Dusa of course. It would be like old times."

You glanced away, not able to think of what to say. Twice in one night, you thought bitterly.

You didn't see the guilty look Hypnos gave you, or his fingers tighten on the swing rope.

"Where is Zagreus anyway?" Hypnos said, his tone light.

"We had to split up, we had the cops called on us." You said, thankful for the topic change.

"A pair of rebels without a cause." Hypnos laughed then stopped. "Oh it is this movie from the fifties and the actor-"

"James Dean. He played a troubled teenager named Jim something." You said, smirking at the surprised look Hypnos gave you. "You're not the only one who watched old movies."

"Guess so." Hypnos laughed. He leaned over to you, "Let me ask you a question."

You raised an eyebrow, "Alright."

Hypnos' golden eyes studied your face. And it made your mouth dry, how he looked at you. Like he actually wanted to know your response. "Do you actually like doing all this? The junkyard and spray painting dicks? And running away from the cops?"

You blinked, not expecting that line of questions. "Those were three questions, Hypnos."

"Don't try to avoid the questions." Hypnos rolled his eyes, "Do you like it?"

You frowned, it wasn't a like or dislike thing for you. It… was just something to do.

"Sure." You told him. Hypnos didn't let up, "it doesn't sound like you do."

You leaned toward him. "Sure, I do. I love it. Why wouldn't I, Hypnos?"

Hypnos didn't say anything, his face serene and beautiful in the moonlight. Your face was hard, your jaw tight and you couldn't hide the nervous anger you felt.

"Alright, tough guy." Hypnos moved away, clearly not believing you.  You did the same, unsure of the feeling in your chest.

Hypnos yawned, loud and long. He blinked only for another yawn to come forward. You stood and he blinked up at you.

You thumbed toward the rows of houses nearby.  "Come on, I will drop you off."

Hypnos stood up with a third yawn, stretching his arms up. It caused his hoodie to ride up with his shirt and exposed his soft stomach for a half second.

Unwillingly your eyes flicked toward the sight of flesh, and swallowed.

"I can make it my own." Hypnos said, his protest half hearted. His arms dropped down and you didn't know it was disappointment or relief you felt.

"I gotta go that way anyway." You told him, it wasn't the truth and you both knew it but Hypnos just nodded.

The walk back was quiet, only sounds were your footsteps. Eventually you got Hypnos' home, a charming two story house with an iron gate.

He unlocked the gate before he turned to look at you. "I meant it." He whispered, "It was nice to talk to you again."

"The offer for the junkyard or just to hang out still stands." You whispered back.

He smiled, soft and genuine. "I think I might have to take you up on it."

You nodded.

"Good night." He whispered as he pushed past the gate.

"Good night, Hypnos." You replied. You waited until you heard the door open and closed before you began walking home.

You tugged your jacket close to you.

Maybe it was a foolish hope but you did hope Hypnos would take you up on your offer.

Your mind flashed back to the park. Even if he didn't, the image of him, soft and glowing, in moonlight tonight belonged to you and you alone.

You could live with that.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

 Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.  

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina. 

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale. 

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real. 

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life. 

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought  it up once this season. 

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst. 

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off. 

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb. 

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1. 

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series. 

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes. 

Until next season Wildcats

[khrystalsnow]

ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS

I wanted to make a list of my favourite fics (not sure if I’m missing any). There’s probably more that I would put here but they’re buried under my likes however, I may add more in the future. I hope you enjoy!

*PLEASE let me know if I did a mistake or put the wrong link!

LEGEND:

🥺Fluff

🤬Angst

😏Smut

😂Crack

FICS

Passion Fruit by @joonbird 🤬😏knj

-The very first fic that introduced me to tumblr fics (bts) which is just heaven sent. I remember reading this in awe because of the writing and the characters. Daddy namjoon showed oc a whole new world when he ate her out and I’m kind of jealous😔 I really love the plot and the character development for the oc and this was overall a good read!

Comfort Inn Ending by @joonbird  🤬😏jjk

-Another one of Amy’s work (top tier), that broke my heart into a million pieces. Honestly, I’ve read this series once, because of how good it is. Its sad, like I broke down a couple of times because of the two characters, kind of sad. That just shows you how amazing it is, that I can’t even reread it.

Hot Summer by @httphopewrld 🥺😏🤬 jjk

-I don’t know why but after I discovered this fic, I couldn’t stop thinking about this and the plot. Curtains are not really something we think about most at of the time but JK! Why couldn’t you just buy some curtains?! I mean I don’t blame the reader for peaking though. I’m really happy with the ending and how they talked it out like mature adults in the end.

Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🤬😏 myg

-A part of the Guarded Series which is just amazing! I picked Greedy because it’s currently ongoing and I really like yoongi’s perspective more than the other series. Yoongi’s a loner and people in his line of work, knows that. When he met oc, its like he finally found something that he can treasure on his own and completely different from the people around him. I just want them to be happy😭 I can’t wait for more chapters to come!

Hammer it Home by @gukslut 🥺😏🤬 knj

-I recently read this and fell in love with it really quickly! I’m pretty sure that everyone knows this fic and loves it just like me. I can’t really say anything more, except daddy joon is absolutely filthy, so read it.

Flower by @readyplayerhobi 🥺😏🤬 jhs

-God, this is such a good series. It deals with a lot of topics such as panic attack, body insecurity, anxiety, having children etc. (please look at the trigger warnings). We get to see the oc begin to date hoseok and see their relationship grow beautifully. Both of the characters are so different individually, but together, they look so beautiful:((

Boyfriend Material by @ladyartemesia 🥺😏😂 jjk

-The amount of times I’ve reread this is unreal. I want someone like jungkook in real lifee😭😭 I really love how its in bullet points to get the points across and easy to read. It also just seems so much more personal because it feels like we’re with them throughout the process of their relationship.

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg 🥺😏🤬 myg

-When I first read part 1, I already fell in love with it. Dragon yoongi, namjoon and hoseok, sorcerer jin and jungkook, fairy jimin and human baby tae!!! I’ve reread this series multiple times and it just never gets old😌I love how everything connects and the smut is spicy✨

A Song Request by @n8dlesoupguk 🥺🤬 jjk

-THIS! IS! SO! CUTTTTTEE!!!! *PUNCHING THE AIR* ahhhhh the amount of time I smiled while reading this is unreal!! I love jungkook and I love this fic. I cant say anymore because of how cute it is! READ ITTTTTT!

Only For Love by @lysjeon  🥺🤬 jjk

-This has a special place in my heart because it was my first social media au. I LOVE the characters especially sarang 🥺its so well done and reread it all the time. Chae’s aus are really good 10/10 would recommend her whole entire masterlist

I Found  by @hxseok-honee 🥺🤬😂 myg

-Ahh!! binged this at 1am and I don’t regret it! It’s a hogwarts au featuring slytherin, brooding, meany, yoongi and hufflepuff reader that is friends with the whole squad. It really has everything that I love about hogwarts aus. The progression of their relationship was a whole roller coaster and at the end I was really happy for yoongi to be able to find his forever girl and be friends with crackheads. 

The Dinner Party by @lamourche 🥺🤬😏 myg

-Beautiful writing and the story is immaculate *chef’s kiss* I think about this fic once a month and reread it multiple times. I love it and hate it at the same time because I just want them together and figure their shit together, especially in the recent chapter. The circumstances and emotions are relatable that I just wanna hug both of the characters 😔

Rattled by @gukslut  🤬😏 jjk

-I’ve already recommended this before, meaning, this is really good. It follows jungkook as a single father with reader as his neighbor. Its angsty as fuck and will probably make you cry for jungkook because how much struggle he goes through with raising lovely areum by himself (respect for single parents!), but they figure it out in the end!

Seven Seas by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺🤬😏 kth

-When I read Atlantis!Taehyung, I was sold. This fic pops up in my head once in a while and I love it every single time I read it again. OC is a smart bitch, and works hard to achieve whatever she desires. I love her relationship with taehyung sooo much, I could picture them together being oc’s parents: lovey dovey even when they’re old and supports one another😌

Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons  🥺🤬😏 knj

-God the amount of serotonin this gives me every time I read it is *chef’s kiss* maknae as namjoon’s kids is also a bonus! I really love family aus and this completely filled me with happiness. 

Chasing Butterflies by @ddaenggtan​ 😏🥺😂 jjk

-Pretty sure everyone already knows and loves this fic but I just had to put this here. It’s literally perfect! Oc pining for weeb jungkook is everyone because he’s cute as hell😔 the SECONDHAND EMBASSAMENT I felt when she confessed is too much😂😭 Please read it if you haven’t because IT’S SO GOOD

A Home Found In You by @lovmail​  🥺(wholesome) jjk

-Another single dad jungkook because I love it😔 This fic introduced me to rochelle’s account and binged all of her other fics (which are also great). This also pops up in my head at random times and I always give in to the urge of rereading it because its so good!

For Love and Money by @jimlingss​ 🥺🤬😏 ksj

-This shit was a whole roller coaster alright but I loved it! it’s a forced arranged marriage and when reading the first chapter, you will want to read more. I love both of the characters soo much and the progression is immaculate, so glad they got their shit together in the end😌

Brass and Strings @jimlingss​  🥺🤬😂 knj

-This was also another roller coaster of feelings and angst. It’s a little long but the pacing is really good. I LOVE the main characters so much!!! oc’s a badass, despite what she’s been through and I strive to be like her ngl😔 This made me cry on multiple occasions, just read this you won’t regret it.

Inside My Mind by @jimlingss​ 🥺😏 knj

-The amount of times I think about this on a monthly BASIS. It’s half fluff and smut which is the perfect combination for me😌 I love the concept of mind reading, but when people can hear nsfw thoughts though😳 honestly read it if you haven’t, IT’S SO GOOD 

The Deli Diaries by @jimlingss 🥺 pjm

-This shit was the CUTEST shit ever!! both characters are so cute (I’ve said that word so many times😭) and their interactions during work is so cute😭 At this point just read Kina’s whole masterlist

The Alpha by @ladyartemesia​ 🤬😏 pjm

SO GOOD, immaculate, well written, the plot 10/10. This fic is amazing!! I get so excited whenever I see that it’s updated. The world is so fascinating and detailed that you wanna learn more about it. The plot is so thrilling and the action parts got me so hooked! I can’t wait for more part to come!

A Court of Curses  by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺��😏 jhs

UGGHHHH one of my favourite hobi fics ever!!! of course it’s a vampire and witch au. I love the main characters so much OK😭 they just wanna love each other and it physically hurt me when they were also hurting😭😭😭 but the ending is so satisfying, so I’m happy!

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Epilogue

So, this is it. We officially reached the end. I must admit I am very sad. Writing this story has been such a great journey but Aelin and Rowan have their happy ending. This chapter is set 5 years after the events of the previous chapter. it's divided in two parts. The first one we have Aelin telling in first person what happened in five years. Part two has a snippet of our beloved Whitethorn-Galathynius family. we get to meet Freyja and Morrigan and a surprise too. I hope you love the girls.

I want to say a massive thank to every single person who read the story, reblogged it or left a comment. Thank you. I am so grateful for all the support you gave me.

I am coming back..  A Little Braver is going well and I hope to be brave enough to post chapter one soon.

And now i'll leave you to the story. Enjoy <3

--------------------

5 years later

My name is Aelin and my story began five years ago. I was once heartbroken and one day I left my old life behind and took a flight to Scotland, and then a ferry and I ended up on this island called Lewis. I am a bookworm and one of the first thing I did once on the island was to go and hunt for a bookstore. And well, you know the story after that. It’s been five years since the day Rowan and I officially tied our lives together at Callanish. As promised we went back there after a year and a day and renewed our vows.

Married life had its ups and downs but Rowan and I fought through every single challenge that came our way. We made it work, we fought for each other as we promised and we love each other just as we did when we began. And some. Every year Rowan has been celebrating the anniversary of the day I arrived on the island and officially entered his life. Sometimes I think he prefers that day to our wedding anniversary. Anyway, as you remember we finished the story with the four of us, Rowan, me and our two girls Morrigan and Freyja. Those two cute bundles of flesh are now two very active five years old driving mum and dad crazy but also being the most precious thing in our life. They will start primary school next month and I am trying not to cry if I think how much they have grown. Physically they are their father’s clone. They both have deep pine green eyes and his same silver hair. Freyja likes it long and loves when either I or Rowan braid it. He has become quite a wizard at braiding our daughter’s hair. Morrigan, on the other hand, prefers it short. But the similarities end with that. Personality wise they cannot be any more different. Freyja is like me. Rowan calls her his wee Fireheart. She is fierce and stubborn. She has a very strong personality and for a five year old she has her ideas clear on what she wants. She is like quicksilver and always active. She is the first one to wake up and the last one to go to bed. She is curious and fearless and loves nature just as much as her father. She is out little hurricane. Morrigan, on the other hand, is the calm one and reserved and she reminds me so much of Rowan. She observes a lot and when you think she is not paying attention, she comes up with question that makes you realise she was listening after all. She has an inquisitive mind and her non stop questions can be exhausting after a long day. She is shy. Where her sister had been since tender age happy to be with anyone, Morrigan has always been very selective. Growing up she has her favourite selection of adults. She is very close to her father, probably because they are very similar, but Uncle Malcolm and Aedion come second. Aedion got her hooked on planes. Once we were at his and Lys’ house and Morrigan grabbed one of his models planes and started playing with it. Aedion had started talking about the plane and now when they are together she always ask him about planes. We think she’ll be a pilot. Both girls are obsessed with books just like her parents and Rowan has taken upon him the job of teaching them to read. Morrigan can read very simple words and write her own name. Freyja would too if she could sit down for more than five minutes. Good luck with the teachers. She is very bright, she just can’t stay still for very long. She was probably the one doing all the kicking while in the womb. The amazing thing is that they get along. It took us a while to teach them to sleep in their individual rooms. For a while in the morning we would find one in the other’s bed. Always curled up together as they used to do when they were little. Freyja at the park always play the protective one and looks after her sister and chases away the kids who try to take advantage of her sister’s calmer nature. If we were in a fantasy I would imagine Freyja being the woman learning to wield a sword and who would train with the guys and dreamed of becoming a knight. Morrigan, I imagine her as the one with her nose in books and who dreams of becoming a healer. I think Rowan is writing a story about them. Oh yes, I will tell you about his book in a moment. There is a further family member that I need to introduce: our son Dalamar. Yes, Rowan and I have scandalised parents at kindergarten with our weird names. Freyja did not cause much problems but a couple of mothers had a go at me for calling my daughter with such as negative name as Morrigan. I usually explain that I do not expect my daughter to become the goddess of war but that simply Rowan and I liked the name. And do not get me started with Dalamar. No-one apparently has read the Dragonlace chronicles so when we say Dalamar is a dark elf in the books, well, the glares we get are incredible. But again, Rowan and I wanted an original name. We started searching in books to find something we liked and then Rowan found his old copy of the Dragonlance chronicles and he suggested Dalamar. I joked that if we truly wanted to scandalise Stornoway, we should have called him Raistlin. So in the end we went for something less alien and settled on Dalamar. Anyway, Dalamar is two. He was planned though. Rowan and I had decided we wanted a big family so once the girls were around three we started to try and add another member. When we had the conversation we had talked about having four kids, but alas, Dalamar’s birth has been so full of complication that my chances of another pregnancy are now non existent. But Rowan and I are happy. We have our big family. So, Dalamar has blond hair, much fairer than mine and very light blue eyes. He is a gorgeous wee boy. In terms of personality he is halfway between his sisters. He can be adorable one moment and stubborn like a mule the next. But at least they get along and again, Freyja has taken him under her wing. She really is our knight in shining armour. Both girls are fluent Gaelic speakers. After they were born I asked Rowan if he wanted to teach Gaelic to the girls and he had been very happy about it. So we decided that he would speak only Gaelic to the girls and I was the boring parents with English, although sometimes I am brave and I practice with them, then I embarrass myself and revert to English. We have started the same process with Dalamar and he is like a sponge. Morrigan sometimes helps me with my exercises and Gaelic homework. I am taking classes as well when I can. It’s quite embarrassing when you are almost forty and your five years old daughter tells you “Don’t worry mum, you are doing great.” And then adds something in Gaelic and you need to wait for your husband for a translation. Kids, aside… our lives haven’t changed very much. Rowan still works at the bookstore and Malcolm’s sister is still his assistant. She had been wonderful and he could easily count on her when he needed to stay at home with me and the kids. The shop is becoming very popular, my Facebook page has now reached many followers and a year after our daughters were born he finally managed to set up a website for online ordering. My dearest husband also managed to write a book, find an editor and have it printed and distributed in some smaller bookstores. Of course I told him to have in his shop. We did a book signing hoopla and I don’t think I ever seen Rowan so embarrassed. Anyway, he wrote a fantasy and as promised I was in it and I was Queen as requested. He was my warrior. Loads of angst and epic battles but we end up together. I am very proud of him. Now he is working on one were our children are the main characters. I have only read the fist few chapters and I love it already. But I am his wife so I am biased. I still work at the hospital and still love my job. I started helping as well as paramedic and specifically in the air squad. The team that gets to be airlifted at the site of accidents and the whole thing required a special type of training and it had been amazing. On occasions, I get to work with Aedion. He flies, I save lives. I wish I could tell the London guys that they were wrong. Working in a small hospital is not throwing away my career. I feel more satisfied than I ever felt when I was down south. Malcolm is still my second and I still adore him. Three years ago he finally got married. After my wedding Aiden went for his last deployment and made it back alive and then retired from the navy. He and Malcolm started dating seriously. A year later they moved in together and a year after that Malcolm finally proposed. Aiden has found a civilian job and well, they got their happily ever after. Another couple who got their happily ever after is Lysandra and Aedion. He proposed about five months after mine and Rowan’s wedding and three months later they were married. They had gone for a very small and private ceremony. One year later they had their fist child a boy named Marcus and now Lysandra is pregnant with their second, a girl. She climbed up again the ladder at the hospital and now she is just one level below the head of the department. Then we have Elias. How can I forget him? He is still in Shetland and we keep in touch and we meet when he is back on the islands. His job is going wonderfully and recently got promoted. Two years ago he got married to Ciara and he is happy and a few months ago she gave birth to an adorable little girl named Martha. She is cute. I have seen her when they came down last month. We remained good friends and both had the happy ending we wanted. We still joke and we love to compliment each other on making marriage number two stick. His book addiction got worse and I think I created a monster. He also bought Rowan’s book and raved about it for months. Then we have Elide and Lorcan. We see each other quite regularly. Every year in July they come to Heb Celt and now they can stay at our place. We have been down to Glasgow a few times and Lorcan yearly provides Rowan with tickets for the Six Nations and we religiously go and see the matches. I am officially a Scotland’s fan and I even learnt Flower of Scotland. The boys are proud of me. Elide is still a teacher and Lorcan still the coach of the Warriors. Their family has gotten bigger as well and they have a boy and a girl and Elide is expecting a third one. Apparently they want a big family too. Oh and Lorcan can smile for more than a second. I must admit I have changed my mind about the man and once he gets comfortable with someone he is actually quite a decent human being. He as a dark sense of humour and us two are usually the ones scandalising the group with dark jokes. Aunt Maeve is still running her cafe and she had been a great help as well while the kids were growing up. She would come up with crazy excuses to offer to babysit them and gave us plenty of chances for me and Rowan to have some time alone. Especially after the two births. She also spoils the girls and love to bake for them. Freyja loves to bake with Maeve and, like me is obsessed with cakes. Also, baking is the only activity when our energetic daughter can stay still for more than ten minutes. Morrigan, on the other hand is fussy as her father and not a fan of sweet stuff. We really got one clone each. Dalamar is still too small but he eats anything. My mum has joined the group as well. She has bought a flat up here and sold the house in London. She decided that she wanted to be a part of her grandchildren lives so she moved up here and she is in good terms with Maeve and sometimes she helps her at the cafe. The two of them cooking are becoming very popular in town.

***

“Come on, let’s go and see dad in the shop.” Aelin took Dalamar’s hand and made sure the twins were walking in front of her. Morrigan started blabbing something in Gaelic but Aelin didn’t understand. ��Beurla, mo chridhe,” said Aelin to her daughter. “Tha mi duilich, mum.” Morrigan gave her a toothy smile, showing off her missing tooth. They walked to the shop and once they got in the two girls ran to their father who crouched down and they crashed into him. “I bring chaos.” Joked Aelin while Dalamar was still holding her hand. Rowan had started hosting afternoon for kids in his shop when he would reads books or just have storytelling sessions. He had started during the school holidays to have a way to keep the younger children busy but then it became very popular and he kept going, so once a week the shop is invaded by parents and their kids. The twins loved to listen to their dad tell stories. Dalamar loved it as well but he was far too young to understand what was happening so most of the times he would end up playing with Lys and Aedion’s son Marcus. Aelin reached Rowan and gave him a kiss and the twins made disgusted noises and Aelin laughed “one day you will find a boy or a girl and you’ll want to kiss him or her as well and it won’t be as disgusting,” she said tickling Freyja who was the one who was the most disgusted. “I am going to be a knight. I don’t need a boy.” Added Freyja proudly. “I am going to be a doctor like mum.” Was Morrigan’s turn. “So, a knight and a doctor, I guess we got very lucky.” Rowan pulled Aelin in his arms “looks like the goddess of love wants to fight and is not interested in love and the goddess of war wants to heal people.” “Well, you can’t say that we don’t have an interesting family.” Joked Aelin. Then Rowan bend over and lifted Dalamar in his arms “and you?” He kissed his cheek “what do you want to do?” “Tuathanach.” Replied the boy hugging his father. Aelin laughed and brushed his blond hair “that is lovely, my love.” With time and once they were properly settled down they had decided to dedicate a part of the land they owned to have a small farm. They had a couple of cows, a few chickens and loads of sheep. Dalamar loved to run after the sheep and help his dad look after the animals. That’s why Aelin and Rowan were not surprised when he said he wanted to be a farmer. The twins went behind the counter and grabbed the colouring books that Rowan kept stashed for when he had them in the shop and the pencils and ran to the kids’ table at the bottom of the shop. Rowan placed Dalamar on the floor “Go and colour with your sisters.” “Tha.” And the boy joined the two girls. Aelin leaned exhausted against Rowan. “You look tired.” “They have far too much energy. We went to the park. Freyja ran and jumped the whole time. Morrigan wanted to pat the ducks and almost ended up in the pond and Dalamar chased every single dog or cat.” She explained, looking at their kids with affection “then we had ice cream, we went to say hi to Aunt Maeve and grandma Evalin and Freyja and Dalamar stuffed themselves with carrot cake. Morrigan just had a carrot. She is annoyingly healthy like you.” “My girl.” Said Rowan proudly. “Don’t get me wrong, I love them madly, but I just wished they had just a smidge less energy.” Rowan kissed her forehead “I’ll entertain them tonight and make sure they go to bed early. Hopefully they will run out of energy soon.” “Morrigan and Dalamar perhaps. Not Freyja, that girl has limitless power.” “Just like her mother.” Rowan’s arms squeezed her tight “The girls are going to school next month so hopefully they will calm down a bit.” “I am terrified at the idea of Freyja sitting on a chair all day. I feel sorry for the poor teacher.” Rowan laughed “she might find it interesting and actually sit.” “Ro, she can’t even stay still when you read stories.” He scratched his head “I was thinking we can sign her up for some sport.” “You can take her swimming.” Suggested Aelin. Rowan had kept his job as swimming instructor with Dorian and they had made it work. When the kids were at home she would take them to the swimming complex and once Rowan was done they would all swim together. He had begun teaching the twins to float and some very basics techniques. Freyja had loved it, but she preferred jumping from the smallest platform. Morrigan on the other hand had been a good student and had followed her dad’s instructions and could do a nice basic breaststroke. Dalamar would soak with Aelin with his water wings. He loved being in the water. “She could become one of those athletes who jump from platforms into water. A professional diver. She is surely fearless for a five years old.” “I can see her as a rugby player.” And Aelin laughed. “We’ll let her decide.” “Of course,”Aelin kissed him “Look, some mum and kids are arriving.” Rowan was due to start his storytelling session very soon and mothers, fathers and kids had started to arrive in the shop. Five minutes later Rowan took his position at the bottom of the shop on his chair. All the kids sat on the floor on the colourful mats Rowan had bought. Morrigan and Dalamar would sit at his feet, but Rowan would alway keep Freyja in his arms so he could hold her still for a while. “Thank you everyone for coming this afternoon. Kids, are you all comfortable?” Aelin stood in a corner and stared at him as per her usual. Rowan was such a natural around kids. It had been so easy for him to settle into his role as a dad. He had been amazing with their kids and he’d do literally anything to make them happy. But at the same time he had managed to keep the wonderful balance to prevent them to become spoiled brats whose parents would give them anything. “Today’s story is about a princess. Her name is Aelin.” “Like mum.” shouted Freyja in her father’s arms. “Tha, mo chridhe.” And Rowan kissed her head and a smug smile appeared on the girl’s face. “She is fierce and brave and very, very beautiful. So beautiful that all the princes in the realm wanted to marry her.” Aelin laughed and blushed a bit. “Is there a dragon?” Asked Freyja who seemed had already passed her attention span limit. “Shhh, my love.” But he knew it was a desperate hope. “The princess had been put under a spell by her horrible stepmother who was very jealous of her. She could not enjoy true love with the man she loved until the dragon that held the necklace with the spell was killed. Aelin was in love with the captain of the guard, a man called Rowan. The wicked stepmother had found out and so punished her. She had planned to marry her off to a wealthy old man.” When Aelin noticed Freyja was getting fidgety, she took a chair and sat beside her husband and grabbed their daughter so that he could continue his tale. “Rowan offered to go on a quest and kill the dragon but Aelin refused to be left behind. She was not a damsel in distress. So during the night she gathered some of her stuff, donned her armour and together they set off on an adventure. During their trip he would train her with the sword so she could defend herself. It took them a few months but they did manage to reach the dragon’s lair.” “Dragon.” Freyja was ecstatic and Aelin held her tight. “But while they took the path through the magic forest to reach the dragon lair, Rowan and Aelin got separated. The forest was very dangerous but they were both very brave and fought all the perils and when Aelin finally reached the lair she saw that Rowan was already there but he was injured. She drew her sword and decided to face the dragon alone. In the forest she had discovered that she had fire magic and she wanted to punish the dragon. So she started fighting him, but the dragon was huge and she was getting tired. In that instant Rowan woke up again and walked to her. Together they fought the dragon and eventually killed it and destroyed the necklace, setting Aelin free. She finally kissed him and slowly they returned back home. Once back at the castle, they discovered the wicked mother was gone and Aelin and Rowan decided to get married. They invited all the villagers and they lived happily ever after.” Rowan had to simplify the story to make it acceptable to young kids but they seemed to have liked it. He told a few more stories and two hours later the shop was empty and he was alone again with his family. Dalamar had fallen asleep in Aelin’s arms. Morrigan had gone back to her colouring book and Freyja was pretending to be a knight, swinging around the toy sword Rowan had given her. “I am princess Aelin and I kill dragons.” She shouted while Rowan chased her around the shop. Rowan finally grabbed her and lifted her like a sack of potatoes “dad, the dragon,” she protested while trying to wriggle out of her father’s grip. “Freyja!” Aelin noticed Rowan’s command voice. The one that could actually slow down the little terror. The girl stopped moving and Rowan sat her down beside her sister and she grabbed a colouring book and joined Morrigan in silence. “You really have super powers.” Rowan leaned over to kiss his wife’s head “Give me ten minutes and we’ll go home.”

Half an hour later they were finally at home. Rowan carried a sleepy Morrigan and Aelin carried Dalamar who had been sleeping for an hour now. Freyja had followed in silence, with her sword tucked in the belt loop of her trousers. “I’ll make dinner, you change the kids.” Aelin nodded “Let’s go Freyja it’s jammies time.” The little girl gave her a huge smile and followed her mother with Morrigan at her side. Aelin placed Dalamar on the bed, and helped the two girls change into their night clothes. “Did you have fun at dad’s tonight?” “Yes.” They both squealed. Once they were ready, Aelin tied Freyja’s hair “now go back downstairs to dad but let him cook, okay?” The two girls nodded and left the room. Aelin grabbed her little boy and took him to his room, changed him into his pyjama and tucked him in bed “I love you,” she told him while kissing him on the cheek. Then grabbed the baby monitor and joined the rest of her family downstairs. The twins were on the carpet playing quietly with Morrigan’s planes. Aelin joined Rowan and hugged him from behind “Dalamar is in bed and the girls are playing.” She kissed his back “and your food smells amazing.” “Freyja finally calmed down.” “My mum says that she reminds her of me when I was little.” Aelin squeezed him. He switched off the hob and turned engulfing her in his arms “It does not surprise me.” And he kissed her deeply and Aelin replied in the same manner. He pushed her to the table and she grabbed his butt pulling him to her and she moaned against his mouth. He kissed her neck and Aelin’s hands found their way under his t-shirt. Then she pulled away “Ro, the kids are in the other room and awake.” Rowan leaned his forehead against hers cupping her face in his hands. The kiss he gave her was full of need and love “I know.” He sighed pulling away. Their intimate life had taken a bit of a hit and most nights they were too tired to even try and do something. The last time they had managed to get some action was when Aelin’s mother had kidnapped their kids for an entire weekend four months before. And the mornings were not good either because the twins had the habit of waking up and joining their parents in bed for some family cuddling. Aelin crashed her forehead on his chest “I miss our wall…” she laughed “but I know that I would fall asleep as soon as my back hits it.” Rowan kissed her again “I miss you too.” Then pulled away “Come one, let’s go and feed our hurricanes.” In that instant she heard Dalamar calling her through the baby monitor and five minutes later Aelin was downstairs with a weepy boy in her arms “Someone else is joining us for dinner.” The five of them had dinner and once they were done the kids moved to the sofa and Aelin gave them her old laptop so they could watch their hour of tv. She and Rowan had never bought a tv and the kids never asked for it but allowed them to watch an hour of cartoons on Netflix in the evening after dinner while they cleaned up. Most of times they got bored after half an hour and went back playing until bed time but when they were tired they did manage their hour. “They are watching Totoro again.” Said Aelin, joining Rowan in the kitchen with a pile of dishes then she grabbed a towel and started drying all the ones he had already washed. “They do love Totoro.” He added smiling. “Morrigan the other day said she wants to study Japanese so she could talk to Totoro and Freyja wants to go in the woods to look for him.” Rowan roared with laughter “I love the idea of studying Japanese, though.” “Our two wonderful weirdos.”Aelin stored away all the dishes. Once they were done they got back in the living room and silence reigned. The laptop was on the carpet and the three kids were are all hugged together on the sofa. Dalamar sleeping on Freyja’s chest like in the scene where Mei sleeps on Totoro’s belly, her arms protectively around her brother’s back. Morrigan was snuggled against her sister, her hand holding one of Freyja’s. Aelin gasped at the scene and Rowan pulled her to him and kissed her head “they are finally fell asleep.” He turned Aelin and held her from behind, his chin on her head and his arms tight around her. “This is it, Buzzard. This is my island dream.” Rowan kissed her temple. “This is my dream too.”

TAG:

@rowaelinismyotp

[beomglocks]

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: two ,,,, next chapter / previous chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you’re forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 4.2K (was in a writing mood)

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

"we're alive, you're alive, it's gonna be ok."

usually, when people say those words, everything ends up going completely wrong. the phrase gets jinked and turned over on its head making the situation worse. in your case, that didn't happen. if anything the situation got better somehow.

"after we met in the hall i headed to the gym to get the bat you suggested," beomgyu explains softly. you and him were seated on one of the benches in the locker room.

after what happened earlier with the zombie, you distanced yourself from yeonjun and taehyun who were currently exploring the locker room for other resources. luckily, none of the other zombies outside knew you all were in here so it was safe to say you were in the clear for now.

"actually if it wasn't for you, i'd probably be dead," he laughs looking down at his hands. you noticed there was a lot of blood on them but didn't bother to ask where it came from. after all, you all seemed to be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. "i could say the same," you chuckle. you honestly don't have to energy to talk but you figure a new face to converse with who isn't someone you despise is nice.

"no but really," he suddenly turns serious. "if it wasn't for you, i would've never gone to the gym in the first place. i probably would've been turned into one of those monsters while in the hallway, unsuspecting." you don't argue with him. if he thinks you saved his life then so be it. "i'm grateful seriously," he mentions softly. you look up at him bewildered, "you're grateful? if anything i'm the one who should be grateful," you laugh a genuine laugh this time hoping to lift the gloomy mood. "if it wasn't for you i would be the living dead right now," you smile bitterly.

you can feel him staring at you but you don't look at him. you don't want this conversation to turn into a battle of who saved who and thankfully he doesn't continue it.

"uh i-i think just last week we were working on a lab together," he scratches the back of his head nervously. you lean back on the bench, "oh yeah, i remember. wow it's crazy how things can change so drastically in a matter of days." you look around the locker room in thought, "i wonder what happened to everyone else, i mean how can something like this happen?" you continue.

he sighs, "i really don't know...like i said, i headed to the gym after we saw each other. everything seemed normal. i was in the batting room looking for a metal bat then i hear the locker room door burst open. i figured the baseball team was about to start practice so i walked out while trying to hide the bat under my shirt." he looks at you sheepishly as you laugh at his attempt at stealing. "well one of the members of the team was in the corner of the locker room just scratching his arm like crazy! i'm talking deep wounds with blood dri-" you cut him off, grimacing. "r-right well, i asked him what happened and all he told me was not to go out there. i was confused so i look into the gym and see people eating each other than coming back to life and doing the same to others."

he closes his eyes but winces as if remembering a bad memory, "it was crazy, i was so starstruck that i didn't even realize the guy from before had already turned. it's a good thing i heard him making those weird noises or else i would've turned too. unfortunately, i had to kill him using the bat." your eyes fall on the bruised and bloody bat by his side. it must've taken beomgyu a lot of hits to figure out where exactly to aim to kill. "how did that other one that attacked me get in?" you ask.

"well apparently the one that attacked me wasn't the only one to come in earlier. he must've been hiding or something," beomgyu sighs, looking at you again. "look y/n, im really glad yo-"

"we didn't find anything useful other than the bats and some paddings," yeonjun strolls into the main locker room with taehyun looking dejected behind him. you glance at them then look back at the ground. you're not sure why you're angry at them, it's not like they could've done anything at the moment. suddenly the sad realization hits you: yeonjun is a self-centered asshole who doesn't care about anyone and taehyun barely knows you so why would he risk his life.

beomgyu mutters something silently to himself but you don't hear it. "so what are we gonna do now? we can't just stay here forever," yeonjun sits on the bench opposite of yours with his arms perched on his knees. you stay silent, not really wanting to talk anymore. beomgyu ruffles his hair, "let's see... we have bats and the baseball teams protective gear somewhere around here but I don't think going around killing all the zombies in that gym is a good idea. we will definitely not make it out alive."

taehyun sighs angrily, "damn it, we can't just stay here. we're bound to get hungry or worse; wanna use the bathroom. we need to find a way out to find more people. i still believe we're better in numbers." he notices you haven't pitched any ideas yet so he looks at you expectingly.

when you don't answer, yeonjun groans, "cmon y/n how long are you gonna keep acting like this?" you look up and see he's looking at you with a bored expression. "look sorry we couldn't help or whatever but honestly what did you expect us to do? no offense but you're acting like a child." you don't wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he said got to you so you bite your lip and glance at the ground.

"yeonjun when you put 'no offense' in front of an offensive statement it doesn't make it any less offensive,” beomgyu rolls his eyes. "plus, they almost died. do you really not have any empathy oh wait i forgot you're a selfish jackass who probably wouldn't think twice about throwing us to the wolves." in all the time you've known choi beomgyu, which is a couple of months roughly, you don't think he's ever stood up for himself or others for that matter.

"beomgyu," you warn silently. you guys already have enough problems as it is, you don't need a fight breaking out. "oh look who's getting bold," yeonjun chides. "you save one person and suddenly you're the hero of the story," he rolls his eyes. "news flash, y/n doesn't like you."

beomgyu's eyes widen and you see his ears turn red. "shut up yeonjun," he says through gritted teeth. "oh yeah y/n by the way beomgyu has an embarrassingly massive cru-" before yeonjun can finish his sentence he's on the floor with beomgyu on top of him.

"guys!" taehyun shouts. he wanted to break up the fight before the zombies outside were alerted. none of the boys on the floor were listening though and you had a huge wave of deja vu hit you.

unfortunately, this wasn't like the last fight you witnessed because yeonjun was far stronger than his opponent this time. although beomgyu had the advantage of throwing the first punch, yeonjun had the advantage of actually being able to fight. "y/n doesn't like you! they'll never like you no matter what you do!" yeonjun shouts in between punches. "fuck you!" beomgyu retorts, trying to shield himself. you see taehyun conflicted on whether or not he should break up the fight since his wrist is still damaged.

"guys stop!" at this point, both boys are in a blind rage. both shouting at each other and throwing wild punches. you all hadn't heard the banging on the locker room door. until it was too much to handle. the lock was busted open in a flash causing all of you to whip your heads towards the door.

the force of all the zombie's dog piling on the door after hearing the commotion of the living on the other side must've been too much for the door to handle. "run run RUN!" taehyun grabs you and bolts towards the second doors of the locker room leading towards the girl's side. you didn't even have time to look back and see if yeonjun and beomgyu had time to get off the floor and run because before you know it you're in the hallway again.

"we have to get to the first room we see," taehyun pants. you both run past all the strangler zombies in the hallway and you're glad taehyun takes the brunt of the force. since he's the one that picked up some of the equipment his arms are paddled so it's fairly easy to take some force from the zombies jumping at a chance to bite him. you run close behind him grasping his hand tighter than you'd ever held anything.

you suddenly remember all the times you'd scream at a character in a horror movie when they trip and fall. sympathy rushes through you because it definitely wasn't easy.

"in here!" taehyun rushes towards the nearest room and barges through it. it took a bit of force since there seemed to be stuff blocking it from the inside but you both managed to get through it before the horde caught you. as soon as you get in the room you heave for air, you'd seriously never run that fast in your life. you turn around towards the now-closed door and to your dismay, beomgyu and yeonjun are not there.

"damn it we got split up," you mumble through deep breaths. you sincerely hope they're both ok. you turn back around but before you could get a chance to discuss with taehyun you see he has his hands up in surrender. "wha-" that's when you hear a gun click.

your eyes widen when you see soobin appear from the shadows of the room with a gun in his hands. that's when you realize where you are, the principal's office.

"soobin!" you're confused as to why he has a gun pointed towards you guys but you're glad he's alive. "get any closer and you'll end up like the principal," soobin spits. you finally look towards the floor where the principal's desk is located and see what looks like a body but it's unmoving.

"oh my god," you mumble. "dude what the hell," taehyun steps forward and soobin turns the gun towards him. "get away from me! i don't know if you're infected or not!" you're very worried because soobin looks like he's not mentally capable of wielding a gun at this moment.

you finally survey him and the room. his hair is an absolute mess and he has more blood on his face and body then you remember. his clothes look pretty normal except for the scratches and blood on them. they didn't seem to go that deep just enough to rip his clothes. the room on the other hand was a total mess. the bookshelf was on the floor and the chair in front of the principal's desk was flipped over, there were books all over the floor and the couch that was used for lounging was turned upside down. that's probably what was blocking the door.

"soobin," you warn. he points the gun at you. "we're not infected." you hope you sound calm. you don't want to give him a reason to think you're a zombie. "there's no way," he mumbles. "everyone's dead! there's no way you guys made it out alive."

"it's true!" taehyun encourages. "yeonjun, beomgyu, y/n and i are alive from what we know." soobin eyes you both, "where are they then?" you sigh dejectedly, "we got split up."

"look, we promise we're not infected! we haven't gotten bit or scratched or anything, please put the gun down," you step closer to him and when he doesn't wave it at you you grab it from him and throw it on the floor.

soobin steps back towards the wall and sinks down to the floor holding his head in his hands. "damn it! i hate this!" he mumbles. "what the hell happened in here?" taehyun asks. he walks towards the principal's body and cringes.

soobin sighs, "he was already one of those monsters when i got here, it was a struggle trying not to get eaten but i found a gun hidden under the desk. i guess it's a gun meant for self defense so that's what i used it for." you look down, processing his words. he was in here alone with a zombie. you're amazed at his ability to stay alive in such a tight situation.

"do you have any wounds, we have a first aid kit," you motion towards the bag on taehyun's back. he gives you a grateful smile, "thanks." you take the bag from taehyun while he watches you closely. he feels weird but he can't explain it. he doesn't want to watch you patch soobin up but he doesn't say it out loud. he decides to busy himself with looking around mindlessly instead of thinking about that.

in the meantime, you kneel down to help soobin. he watches you take out everything from the first aid kit. "sorry," he bites his lip. you chuckle dryly. this is one of those times when soobin looks and acts soft. you've only interacted with him a couple of times before with the extracurricular activities and fundraisers your school held. you knew he could be nice when he wanted to, he just got into fights a lot.

seeing him up close made you realize why so many people in your school fawned over him. he had looks that could rival yeonjun's. the only thing differentiating them was that soobin was actually kind of nice. "it's fine, you were scared," you say softly. instead of responding he opts for watching you silently. he's seen you around school and during the fundraisers and whatnot but never thought much about it. were you always this cute? sure, you had remnants of blood on your face but it didn't seem to take away from your looks.

he shakes his head at the thought. he shouldn't be thinking that about you, he barely knows anything about you other than your name and that you were seemingly willing to go out your way to help people. you give him a confused face and he just looks down at the ground. you cant tell what he's thinking and don't really dwell on it. you wet the cotton ball in your hand with alcohol, "this might sting." he doesn't say anything seemingly lost in his thoughts.

"god, why are these boys so weird towards you," you think to yourself. you gently dab the cotton ball on the cut on his face and he flinches violently. his hand flies up to grab your wrist and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i told you it was gonna sting," you shake his hand from you and sit back waiting for him to regain himself. "sorry i didn't hear you. i wasn't ready for that," he groans, cracking his neck. "ok now."

after you finish patching soobin up, which including him flinching a lot and you telling him to calm down, you let him rest on the floor. taehyun has been seated on top of the principal's desk this whole time just spaced out, looking out of the window. you join him but wince when you see someone on the floor getting eaten. you turn back to him but he's still looking outside.

"i don't think calling for help is gonna work," he says emotionlessly. you sit on the desk beside him. "hey don't say that, there could be people alive out there." you sound like you're trying to reassure yourself more than him. "what if there's no one?" he turns to look at you. "this is so messed up y/n." you see the unshed tears hidden in his eyes and you wanna comfort him but also don't wanna make it awkward. you opt for taking his damaged hand in yours and rubbing it with care.

"i know the situation is really messed up and everything but so far we've managed to save like three people including ourselves. if we keep going maybe we'll be safe and find anyone out there that can help us," he watches you trace his bandaged wrist like you're in a trance. a sudden realization hits him out of nowhere: you're cute... and super caring. he bites his lip, changing the subject, "sorry for not doing anything, back then."

you look up at him and give him a tight lip smile, "it's fine. i guess i might've been expecting too much from you guys, i mean we didn't even have anything on us. beomgyu was the only one with a weapon." you're not mad anymore since he did manage to get you both to safety afterward. you sigh, letting go of his hand. you don't notice him visibly deflate. "i hope yeonjun and beomgyu are ok. i didn't get to see what happened after the door busted open."

taehyun lays back on the desk and covers his face with his arm, "i'm sure they're fine." you hear a groan from somewhere in the room and you flinch, instinctively shuffling closer to taehyun. he bites back a smile from under his arm. you look around and sigh when it's just soobin trying to stand up again. "what are you guys doing?" he goes to sit next to you but there isn't any more space on the desk since you're sitting and taehyun's laying down. he frowns and goes for the principal's seat instead.

"just looking outside, feeling hopeful...others hopeless," you smile at him, hoping to lift the mood. soobin hums, spinning around in the swivel chair, "i'm pretty hopeless." you frown and suddenly soobin feels guilty that he made you upset. "i mean i'm just saying that since i saw a bunch of innocent people in the hall get eaten alive, that's all. there might be some hope outside of the school."

there's a silence that falls upon you three and you're not sure what to say. thankfully soobin speaks up and he hopes it doesn't sound awkward when he says it, "how long have you two been...together?" this causes taehyun to sit up, "what do you mean by that?" soobin raises his hands in surrender. "i was just wondering when is it that you two met up."

"yeonjun and i found him in the nurse's office. that's when everything went to shit," you mumble. "yeonjun? that prick is still alive?" soobin scoffs. "hey, he may be an asshole but his plan got us out of that office," you chide. taehyun stares at you, "you're standing up for him when he called you childish and started that fight?" he says quietly.

"what's wrong with standing up for yeonjun? i know he's a dick but i think he might actually be helpful. he could've left us back at the nurse's office but he decided to stick around. that's commendable, i think," you don't even know why you're suddenly sticking up for him when he hasn't really given you a reason too. maybe it's because you feel bad that he's not actually here to defend himself.

"great another one," you hear soobin mumble under his breath. "another what?" you narrow your eyes at him. "another person that only exists to suck up to yeonjun. here i was thinking i might actually like you," he chuckles flatly. "excuse me?" you can feel embarrassment and anger bubbling up in you.

soobin and taehyun look at you with wide eyes. "let me get one thing straight, i don't live to suck up to anyone, especially with the way things are. if you have a problem with me sticking up for people who aren't here to defend themselves then i'll leave. i don't care if you like me or not," with that you walk up to the door. the hallways seem pretty clear so you go to open the door.

"y/n," taehyun whisper shouts at you. "don't go out there alone, i'll go with you." he frantically moves to pack up his bag once again. you see soobin move to stand up and walk over to you too but you remember what he said. "i don't want anyone of you around me, i'll find other people on my own. wouldn't want you to think i'm sucking up to everyone who tries to help me."

"that wasn't what i meant, i just- fuck y/n- wait," he reaches out towards you but you close the door quickly. you start walking down the hallway, not really knowing where to go. "this was a very bad idea," you think to yourself. so far there's no zombies in the hall you're currently on but you can't shake the fear that's lingering behind you.

you figure taehyun and soobin didn't follow after you or just didn't get a chance to see where you went. you kind of hope they stay put at the principal's office for when you come back with more people. you're pulled from your thoughts quite literally when you're yanked into the janitor's closet.

you go to scream but a hand covers your mouth. you blink a couple of times for your eyes to adjust to the dimness of the tiny space. this is a tiny closet only meant for brooms and mops so your body is very pressed up against whoever is in here with you.

you look up and see yeonjun smiling down at you. he has blood all over his face from the fight that kind of looks like he tried to wipe it off but failed. "oh my god yeonjun," you whisper. you're not sure why your being quiet but you don't want any potential zombies passing by to hear you two.

"hey y/n," he whispers. "how the hell are you alive?" you ask him. "well considering the fact that taehyun is a baseball player which makes him a fast runner, beomgyu and i couldn't keep up so we went into hiding in the girls locker room since it was dark. the zombies followed you guys so once we heard no more commotion we left. beomgyu didn't wanna hang around me so he went around tryna find you." yeonjun rolls his eyes at this.

"you should've stuck with him asshole. im worried about his wellbeing," you bite your lip in worry. you really don't want anything to happen to anyone you've met so far. yeonjun keeps looking down at you, "y/n."

you look back up at him and see his face riddled with worry, "am i really that unbearable, that people would rather die than be around me?" you shake your head viciously. "what? don't say that! i mean sure you're a dick but anyone can change."

you both don't break eye contact for a moment and it kind of starts to feel stuffy in the closet. yeonjun suddenly speaks up, "do you like beomgyu?" your eyes widen and you start to feel heat rise up your neck and cheeks. "n-no, well i don't know...yet. i-i really don't know. i guess he and i are friends and maybe if we talked mor-" in that moment of you stuttering over your words, yeonjun leans down, as best as he can in such a tight space, to place a gentle kiss on your lips.

your eyes widen and you realize you aren't really doing anything so you decide to kiss back. you're so confused right now but decide to let the moment flow. he nibbles on your bottom lip and you let your mouth drop open for him to use his tongue. he somehow manages to push his body closer to yours and wraps his arms around your waist. the kiss isn't rough or needy and is nice but it feels wrong and weird, especially given the circumstances.

you pull away and lick your lips. yeonjun tries to chase your lips but you push him back gently. "why are you kissing me," you ask him shyly. "do you even like me?" this is the part where he hurts you. you wouldn't say you had strong feelings for yeonjun but you did think he was good looking. even though he was mostly mean to everyone you hoped he would change and be a good link to the tiny group you all formed.

"i think so, i don't really know yet to be honest," he answers you. you nod and sigh, satisfied with his answer towards you for now. "sorry for what i said earlier. you weren't being childish, i'm sorry i couldn't help you back then, and im sorry for starting that fight."

you reassure him that its fine but you still feel a weird pit in your stomach worrying about beomgyu. you hope he's ok.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

taglist:  @fxd-skz , @jinniehyunjin , @foreignswagger17 , @ bluemoonnightmare , @srcasticking-main , @shuichi-sama (send ask to be added!)

[iheartbookbran]

Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

[sleepymccoy]

sleepy’s fic masterlist

Doing this cos I wanted to! And I can’t find the short things I’ve written on tumblr half the time, so i wanted a place to go to find them. I’ll edit this whenever I post something new and give it a quick reblog when I do <3

Tumblr shorts

Inventions and Ice-cream

A chererful conversation between Crowley and Aziraphale about their favourite invention humans have come up with. Also read for hand holding, ice-cream, and macking out against the Bentley door. Goes hard on the hand holding stuff

1600-ish words

What kind of lover are you?

Filled a prompt, wing grooming by South Downs. It turned into something very soft, very loving, with some acknowledgement of the aftereffects of trauma and constant threat and the anxiety that would be on you from that. Also, some nice massaging and snark from the main two. I feel like I’m getting a hug when I read this, thb

1200-ish words

Chamomille

Aziraphale notices Crowley getting tired and swings into action with a prepared bedtime routine. Crowley is not consulted. Very short and sweet

350-ish words

Monsieur and Difficult Topics

Crowley and Aziraphale are having a meal together after the apocalypse. Crowley says they're not friends and a very challenging conversation follows as Aziraphale tries to correct this. This is a pre romance thing, so they finish having had a worthwhile conversation, not leaping into dating

2000-ish words

Burnt Coffee and Crosswords

Crowley stumbles out of bed and finds that Aziraphale has, yet again, snuck into his flat while he was asleep. Fluff and fondness ensue

1000-ish words

Absolutely Adorably Nauseating

Outsider POV of Aziraphale and Crowley having very dramatic public fights. Three different stories. Mainly meant to be funny, but has some nice fluff in it

2000-ish words

How can someone as clever as you be so handsome?

Aziraphale remembers Crowley calling him clever in an angry moment and fondly teases him for it. Very fluffy.

1000-ish words

Gifts

Through the years Crowley has been giving Aziraphale gifts that are, overwhelmingly, in poor taste. Fluffy and silly, has pictures

2000-ish words

An Unpleasant Suprise

A butteromens effort. The similar fics were Aziraphale saving Crowley from Gabriel, I wanted to do a twist that had Crowley more engaged in the fight. Turns into an awful lot of flirting and the like at the end, it’s a fun read. Quick warning for a brief decrip of gore from being burnt, but I move on pretty fast

3500-ish words

A New Eden

Filled a prompt; “I’m going to need you to put some underwear on before you say anything else.” It’s not sexy, but by the virtue of the prompt there is dick. Mostly speechless Crowley, though.

1200-ish words

Entirely Unapologetic

Filled a prompt; “so why did I have to punch that guy?” Features protective Crowley and blustering Aziraphale

500-ish words

Be Unashamed With Me

Crowley’s waiting for Aziraphale to leave a church and as he waits he gets a bit sad about his demon-hood and remembers how hopeless he was before he and Aziraphale got together. When Aziraphale joins him a lot of fluff and compliments follow to cheer Crowley up. Which works. Gets a bit flirty.

1500-ish words

Climb Every Mountain

In the biblical narrative, God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, on Moriah. Abraham begins to comply, when a messenger from God interrupts him. Abraham then sees a ram and sacrifices it instead. In the me narrative, Crowley does a favour for Aziraphale then swiftly changes his mind and doesn’t let the kid be killed.

1200-ish words

How Many Ways Can I Say...

A very short form fic, more a casual tumblr post, but it has some cute descriptions of different ways Aziraphale can sat I love you to Crowley

500-ish words

AO3 links

If You Like

link to tumblr promo post

link to some relevant art

a take on the few days between apocalypse and the body switch, cos Aziraphale goes from surprised at Crowley offering to let him crash at his apartment, to swapping bodies and letting Crowley risk himself. So it’s following Aziraphale’s trauma and consideration. Lots of bed sharing and a very fluffy body-positivity ending with Aziraphale’s golden stretch marks.

10,000-ish words

Nothing’s Changed

link to tumblr promo post

A week into July and Crowley has finished sleeping in. He gives Aziraphale a ring and receives a very frosty reception. Although Aziraphale insists nothing has changed, Crowley suspects otherwise. Fic includes Aziraphale pinching Crowley to prove he’s not dreaming

2000-ish words

Slipped My Mind

link to tumblr promo post

Crowley and Aziraphale are so used to not being in a relationship that its quite easy to slip into old habits and forget that they’re allowed to touch now. A bit of angst, but mostly fluffy as they get used to this new normal.

6000-ish words

Requisite Lockdown Fic

link to tumblr promo post

This was actually a tumblr short fic I wrote, but it got crazy out of hand and the format is much easier on ao3 so I’m linking it here. Told entirely through phone calls in the same format as the lockdown youtube special. Crowley is setting boundaries for the first time and Aziraphale is struggling to adjust to these new rules. But it goes well

4000-ish words

To Seduce, Beguile, and Entice

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Crowley isn’t any good at seduction temptations. This comes up one night and Aziraphale is concerned because he’s seduced in Crowley’s name before. All part of the Arrangement. So, of course, the only solution is for Aziraphale to teach Crowley how to seduce. It gets out of hand quickly. The last chapter is post apocalypse and Crowley tries his hand at seducing Aziraphale in a very intentionally referential way, as a kind of method to express that he’s actually interested in a relationship.

10,000-ish words

Still Waking Up

link to some relevant art

link to tumblr promo post

Follows the pair for about two years after the apocalypse as Crowley is behaving oddly and Aziraphale is figuring everything out. This is your trauma recovery fic! Crowley has nightmares and a fear of fire and some abandonment. Aziraphale is lonely and feels deeply incompetent and lost, as well as having not fully resolved some of his issues with Heaven. They learn how to be on their own side together rather than keeping it all separate and protective. Also, bed sharing.

30,000-ish words

Not Quite Human

link to tumblr promo post

Omnipotent POV (but not god) that sorta swaps between them. It’s just a simple 18 hours or so in the shop on afternoon as they’ve begun to get more physically affectionate. This is a decent mutual pining fic. I tried to lean into the real not-human stuff they’ve both got going on. It’s your classic admission of love fic with plenty of panicking Crowley. Features some smut with a sex-positive, asexual Aziraphale and a sex-neutral, demisexual Crowley.

10,000-ish words

the kind of thing one says easily

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This is my silly take on an au. Everything is exactly the same but they actually communicate honestly occasionally. Wild, I know. We follow Crowley and Aziraphale through moments of time in their history (some canon friendly, like follow ons from scenes in the tv show, some made up) as Crowley quite simply tells Aziraphale that he loves him. And Aziraphale gets used to it and learns to be honest in return. Things really come to a head as the apocalypse approaches. The last chapter is a sex scene, but it’s very very loving rather than smutty.

15,000-ish words

Soft.

link to tumblr promo post

This is a very fluffy fic. Crowley tells Aziraphale he has a nice body and it dredges up Aziraphale’s residual concerns over what Gabriel said and in the panic-fueled conversation that follows as Crowley tries to right his wrong they slowly step in sync into discussing their feelings and wants. This fic is the big three, communication, consent, and soft. (gets a bit sexy too, but it’s pretty tame)

10,000-ish words

Is It Worth It Yet

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Around abouts the 1000AD mark, in what would become Turkey a few hundred years later, Crowley sat down, took a breath, and told Aziraphale how he feels in a total trainwreck of a conversation. Chapter 1, that conversation. Of course, Aziraphale would then expect Crowley to bring it all up again after the apocalypse, and when he doesn't he decides to take matters into his own hands and broach the topic himself. It doesn't go as well as he'd hoped. Good ending tho, don't worry guys. If you need an overload of angst then a big old hug to pull you up again, this is a good one.

10,000-ish words

Summoned

link to relevant (lemon) art

link to tumblr promo post

Post apocalypse, timeline unspecified. Heaven and Hell refangle the way humans summonings work so it only applies to Aziraphale and Crowley. This means Crowley finds himself summoned an awful lot more than usual. We see their relationship readjust after the apocalypse in snippets of moments as Crowley’s been summoned. It’s mostly fairly light hearted, but there’s a couple chapters of pretty good angst and one very sexy chapter at the end! Just straight up smut, of the light d/s variety

13,000-ish words

Try Some Pride On For A Day

link to some relevant art

link to tumblr promo post

Shortly after the apocalypse, Aziraphale set a challenge down. Sin vs virtue. Each chapter shows an attempt from Crowley to get Aziraphale to succumb to sin, and Aziraphale tricking Crowley into performing a virtue. Some attempts are easier than others, some are impossible. They learn a lot about each other and slip into some unexpectedly honest moments. This one gets sexy but not out of hand. Aziraphale is pretty explicitly asexual.

20,000-ish words

Needed a break, gone to France x

link to tumblr promo post

A few weeks after the apocalypse and Crowley goes to visit Aziraphale to find a note taped to his door. Panic, anxiety, and general sadness over being so broken up with ensue. This is a miscommunication fic with a writing style that leans toward humour rather than angst and has a nice fluffy ending with good asexual overtones

9000-ish words

Heresy

link to tumblr promo post

Set 3000 years after the apocalypse. Crowley and Aziraphale live together and are romantic. They have been left not entirely alone by their old colleagues, but they are unthreatened so it’s all okay. Until one day Beelzebub and Gabriel drop by to visit in the most surprising way. This fic is my first and was written before the discussion of Beelzebubs pronouns kicked off, so I used the actresses pronouns (she/her) instead of they/them which I’ve used since when referring to Beelzebub

2500-ish words

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello! I wanted to ask, could you reccommend any fics with really innocent bottom Sherlock being nervous before his first time with John? And John of course being understanding and gentle with him. Thank you!

Hi Nonny!!

Check out my bottomlock recs, they’re 80% this request :) AND I’m using this opportunity to update that list, it’s been a couple years, LOL <3 Here’s some newer fics I’ve read!

BOTTOMLOCK Pt. 2

See Also: 

Bottomlock Pt. 1 (April 2019)

Toplock (Mar 2020)

Erotic Beyond Belief by bloodsoakedleather (E, 748 w., 1 Ch. || Autofellatio, Masturbation, PWP, Anal Fingering, Shameless Smut, Establish Relationship) – John watches as Sherlock demonstrates a particular talent. Part 1 of Johnlock Porny Ficlets

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child. 

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind. 

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people. 

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!! 

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy. 

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu  

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8( 

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS 

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular. 

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows. 

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me. 

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved 

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one. 

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me. 

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move 

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.  

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest. 

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

[its-chelisey-stuff]

More than friends, final thoughts about the drama

After suffering quite the unreasonable amount of pain for the last 4 eps for real, it was wild I was surprised when the epilogue finished, signaling the end of the drama, and I felt a bit sad and empty. Still, I mostly felt relieved and happy because my baby Lee Soo finally got the love and happiness he deserved. I obsessed so much with this drama for the past 10 weeks (yep, I counted them, even the ones when it didn’t air) and until a couple of weeks ago I thought this was going to be my favorite kdrama of 2020. And this drama made me want to gif for the first time! Most of my gif edits were awful if I’m being honest hahaha I’m not an expert, but I did them with a lot of love and care. It’s still crazy to me that this drama made me do that.

My overall opinion about MTF is that it was beautifully directed (with close attention to details that always made an effort to show and not just tell), a visual delight (those shots of Seoul while Soo&WY worked in the book? ART), the dialogue between characters and from the internal monololgues was exquisite and almost poetic. And the acting was solid and for me, in particular, two cases were outstanding: SeongWu and EunJin. Don’t take this the wrong way, because main OTP had great chemistry, but Soo and YoungHee’s scenes hit me differently. Their dynamic was very interesting to watch and I wish we could’ve had seen some more of it.

Also, most romance dramas focus on just telling ONE love story, some dramas commit to tell TWO and either the second couple outshines the main one or they’re under-developed. This drama told THREE different love stories and whether or not I liked what they did to them, I think they were told pretty coherently and every couple got their time to shine and to suffer. And I liked that the drama decided to make the last few eps more focused on the friendship of these six people. Ngl I would’ve love to see more bromance (because it was shown in small measures but not told) between the guys, just like we got our sismance with the girls, but I’m still pretty satisfied about all. I feel a bit sad for DongJun though. Some of you think CEO had a good development but I feel like the writer just sort of forgot about him after ep 11... but I hated the CEO a bit so I don’t feel sorry for the character and how he ended.

Now, the heavy stuff.

Believe me when I say that I didn’t mind the pain and angst so much, not really. I think I’ve seen worse in other dramas tbh. My problem, and I hate to say it, was Wooyeon. I didn’t like her at all by the end but Lee Soo loved her more than his own life, so I was happy that he ended the drama happy. But I felt conflicted that it was with her. I don’t know how can I explain this well, but I’m gonna try anyway, so bear with me.

You see I’m not against “problematic” female leads that break up the sterotypes about them having to be nice, giving, kind and darlings 24/7. Bullshit, nobody can be Cinderella or freaking Snow White. My problem was that Wooyeon was a mess to be with. The girl was a passive-aggressive nightmare to date and most of the time, she was a pathological liar. And she hated to hear people calling her out on her wrongdoings (Soo did it a few times and it always got his ass handed to him). And tbh the only reason her friends were always on her side and SangHyuk and HyunJae were neutral about the whole drama, is because they never had to date her.

I know she said sorry and recognized she was immature and didn’t think much about Soo’s feelings. I loved to hear her say that! But I wanted to see that a few eps back, not on the last episode. The show needed to give at least ONE good reason for ME to root for her. And hey, it’s not like I don’t understand she had her insecurities, but she never made much of an effort to try and be empathetic to the feelings of people around her, especially the ones that she disliked like Soo, yet she expected that from everyone, especially those she was mean towards to like Soo. You can’t just do that. At least have her acknowledge she’s wrong sometimes or don’t make her play the victim all the time. Or at the very least let her own those flaws, like Soo did with his.

Take Ko MoonYoung (from It’s okay to not be okay) and Jo Yiseo (from Itaewon Class) as example of female leads owning their flaws and being refreshingly honest. Both were heavily criticized women (both inside their dramas by the characters and outside, by the audience) that most definitely do not fit the good and kind-hearted sterotype of female leads. Controversial, to say the least. 

And I LOVED both of them. Seriously, I could fight you right now if you dare to insult my baby Yiseo and my Queen MoonYoung. On top of it all, they were passionate and all-in for their male lead. That’s my jam. That’s what I like to see. Honestly, what did Wooyeon ever did for Soo? And don’t tell me that she inspired him to be better, because no matter what Soo’s mom told her, the credit for changing and never regressing to his old ways, was all Lee Soo’s.

And look, I know it’s not fair to compare because the drama never put them in a life vs death situation, Wooyeon is nothing like Yiseo or MoonYoung, and this was never a ride or die love story and to be fair Wooyeon pined after Soo for a decade (she barely knew the guy but okay). I only mention them so you can get an idea of what I’m trying to explain about liking and rooting for “problematic and imperfect” female leads . 

 Also, that decade of pining happened off-screen. Objectively speaking, the drama was more about Soo’s feelings for Wooyeon than hers for him. We got to see it all: the revelation of his feelings, the change in him, the growth, the ANGST, while we saw Wooyeon being bitter, angry and vengeful with Soo most of the time. I felt bad for her and had a lot empathy for her character in the first 4 eps but after that, those feelings started to disappear little by little until that dinner in ep 10. That was my turning point hahaha When she got together with Lee Soo, I turned a blind eye and kinda forgave her... but then ep 14 happened.  And it was too much by then.

It all comes down to what I like seeing in my romances, I guess, so I hope no one takes my comments to heart if they did like Wooyeon in the end. Guy pining and all-in for his female lead? Hell yeah. But said girl hurting and torturing him most of the drama’s run and constatly ���unsure” of her feelings for him despite everyone knowing she does love the guy? Nah. That’s not how you love. So I guess what that ex said to her was true, Wooyeon didn’t know how to love. Hopefully she is learning a bit, everyday, in the world of MTF.

All things considered, for a drama coming from a rookie writer, this was an impressive first effort (but they should check out the definition of romcom next time, however they have the slice of life and melo feel down hahaha). A plus for me was always the behind the scenes were the main actors just showed their chemistry, and how well they work together, even more. It looks like it was an special and dear project for everyone involved and that makes me feel better about the drama as a whole.

More than friends, you will be missed by the good stuff and the little fluff you gave me hahaha and despite writing all this, I don’t regret watching you. Also, I “met” some really interesting and fun people thanks to the show. So there’s a lot of good to remember you by.

P.D. So many people want YeEun and SeongWu to be in another project together. Tbh, not only do I think that’s very unlikely, I’m also not very into the idea, despite their great chemistry. I think that seeing them together (acting) in the future  will always put me at odds and remind me of MTF. Ooops!

[inkedstarlight]

Bittersweet: Chapter One

Summary: Nesta up and moved the minute she graduated high school. Now, seven years later, her father has died. After years of separation, Nesta is now living in the same city as her sisters, with Elain as her roommate. Feyre introduces Elain and Nesta to the Inner Circle. But they're missing a certain member... Cassian returns to the Marine Corps to find two new members of the Inner Circle. He pushes Nesta's buttons more than anyone ever has. Cue heavy angst, mutual pining, and a very, very slow burn. Note: So I’m reposting this because I made a lot of changes to the fic and just wanted to start fresh. I had deleted the last things I posted for it, but now it’s officially here! I also just uploaded it on AO3 too, and you can read chapter one here! Warnings: heavy angst Bittersweet Masterlist

June

Nesta was accepted into graduate school today, and she didn’t know whether to cry or smile.

To throw a pity party or a celebration.

To be or not to be.

She was trifling through her mail this morning when she saw the large envelope with the words ‘Prythian University’ printed front and center. She wasted no time ripping it open, and a gasp left her mouth when she read the first sentence.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Master’s program of English at Prythian University.

She had grabbed her phone to tell someone about the news, but her smile quickly faded when she realized she had no one to call, no one to celebrate with. No one to tell her, “I’m proud of you.”

Nesta had scrolled through her contact list, which consisted of only fourteen people. Fourteen people and not one of them close enough with her to warrant such a text. Heart sinking in her chest, Nesta slammed her phone on the coffee table and fell on the couch. A lump formed in her throat, but she refused to let a single tear shed.

But she was in no position to complain. Nesta chose to move away. She chose to be alone. She was the only person to blame for her own unhappiness.  

Nesta had lived in the dreary state of Massachusetts since she graduated high school, leaving her family behind in Maine. The place that conjured nightmares, that was teeming with ghosts. Every corner she turned in her hometown, she was met face to face with her past – the one she so desperately tried to forget. Her family had lived there since Nesta was born. They didn’t have the funds to move to a better town or a bigger house. Up to this point, Nesta’s entire life happened in that horrible town.

Her younger sister, Elain, cried when Nesta announced her decision to move to Massachusetts for college. Feyre’s eyes remained dry, but she wished Nesta good luck.

Nesta and her two sisters had been close as little girls. Sure, they were wildly different from each other – Elain was intelligent and soft-spoken, Feyre creative and stubborn, Nesta hot-headed and brash. They argued. They resented each other in ways sisters did. But they looked out for each other. Since Nesta was just five years old, she did everything she could to protect her sisters, whether they knew it or not.

When Nesta was just fourteen years old, their mother left them. She walked out of the door forever, and everything changed. Elain was crushed but she continued to look out for their father, whose depression worsened when his wife left without saying goodbye. Feyre took her absence the hardest. She had the closest relationship with their mother as the baby of the family, relying on her more than her other sisters. Feyre was the last one to see her. Apparently, their mother made her promise to look out for the rest of the family. She said Feyre was the only one who could do it. And because Feyre was stubborn to a fault, she kept that promise every damned day.

And Nesta? Nesta was relieved and confused and angry and heartbroken. She still was.

So, when Nesta left for college, she promised that she would keep in touch with Elain and Feyre. They all promised. However, they inevitably got busy with their own lives and grew apart. When Elain graduated high school just two years after Nesta, she chose to remain in Maine to tend to their sick father. She attended community college, even though she’d dreamed of being a pediatrician since she was just nine years old. She sacrificed her opportunity for a higher education, and Nesta admired her for that. At the same time, however, she also wanted more for her sister. She had a habit of being too selfless. Always giving, never receiving.

Just a year later, Feyre became the last to graduate. She too flew from the nest, heading west to Colorado. Nesta wasn’t the only one who had a distaste for their hometown. Feyre was born an adventurer. She wants to explore, create, travel. More importantly, Feyre was doing something for herself. Feyre had assumed the role of provider when their mother left them in their youth. At only thirteen, she managed to find a job, and continued to do so until she was eighteen. Feyre had grand plans to visit every New England state during her high school career. She wouldn’t shut up about the places she would see, the people she would meet.

Feyre didn’t stepped foot outside of Maine until she graduated.

The only person Nesta completely cut loose was her father. Elain and Feyre had tried to rationalize with her about this many times, but Nesta put an end to every discussion.

Elain was very close with their father. Feyre was neutral. Nesta resented him. She knew they judged her for that, even if it wasn’t explicitly said. She also understood their reasoning.

They just didn’t understand hers.

Last Nesta heard, Feyre had found her niche at college. Back when they called more often, she had gushed about her new friends and latest conquest. His name was Rhysand (to which Nesta sniggered – who named their child that?), and the pair had recently begun dating after a year of pining for one another. Nesta told her that their love story sounded like the kind of fanfiction she (shamefully) loved. From what Feyre told her, it sounded like she was head over heels, despite her sarcastic deflections.

That was two years ago.

Of course, Nesta had spoken to both her sisters since then. It was rare for them to call, but they would share occasional text conversations. Just last month, Nesta texted Feyre to congratulate her on graduating Summa Cum Laude. It didn’t go much beyond that, though.

Nesta and Elain’s text message history was quite sad to look through. Once a month, Elain would send her an update on their father’s wellbeing. Nesta would not respond. The next month, she would receive another update. No response.

It never angered Nesta to see those texts; it only saddened her.

Elain wore her heart on her sleeve, ever the peacemaker in the family. Her intentions were pure, but she didn’t know the story of Nesta and their father’s relationship. She’d asked, but Nesta was always quick to shut her down.

Despite their one-sided texting, Elain called Nesta every couple of months. It was awkward, but it warmed Nesta’s heart to hear her sister’s voice. Their calls never lasted more than ten minutes, Nesta the one to end the conversation. When they hung up, however, guilt crushed her. Nesta was slowly losing everyone she loved, and it was entirely her fault.

After Nesta had gotten her undergraduate degree in Massachusetts, she worked at two minimum wage jobs for three years to save up enough money to pay for grad school (along with several loans). Her first choice, Prythian University, happened to be just outside of Boulder, the town where Feyre was living. It was also one of the best graduate schools for an English degree in the country.

Nesta considered telling Feyre her news. Obviously, she had to share it at some point. But anxiety crept into her chest whenever she picked up her phone to tell her. What if Feyre wasn’t happy about it? What if she didn’t want Nesta living near her? She had created her own life in a new state. Nesta couldn’t just interrupt after years of shutting her out.

After spending the entire day overthinking, Nesta decided to venture downtown in the evening for a small, lonesome celebration. She would treat herself to a drink (or two), go home, and read a romance novel or two while Iroh, her black, grumpy cat, snuggled in her lap.

So, there she was. Sitting at the local bar, legs crossed as she people watched. Nesta had even dressed up for the occasion. She wore a dress that fell to her ankles, the forest green color complimenting her golden-brown hair. Her arm sleeve tattoo was on full display, and her other ink that disappeared beneath her dress. Dark kohl coated her eyes with a smokey finish.

The bar itself was a welcoming environment. String lights latticed the ceiling, the bulbs providing dim lighting for those who had secrets to keep. Wooden tables faced a small stage at the opposite end of the building – presumably where they held open mic nights. Dark oak walls were plastered with photographs, license plates, and other décor.

It being a Tuesday night, there weren’t many people out. Nesta noticed a couple middle-aged men drinking beers together, an older couple sitting close in a booth, and a small group of what looked like college aged women. Smiles were etched on all their faces. Nesta lifted her hand to touch the frown she wore. It only deepened.

Just be happy for once, Nesta thought to herself.

As the bartender refilled her gin and tonic, someone approached the barstool to her left. Nesta glanced sideway to discover a young man with a hard face. He looked about her age with dark hair and a tanned complexion. He was handsome in a rugged kind of way. Removing his leather jacket, he revealed the fitted shirt he wore, which clung a body that screamed “I go to the gym every day.” Before he sat next to her, the man dropped a duffle bag on the floor with a loud thud.

He didn’t seem to notice her as he flagged down the bartender and ordered a drink. His voice was low, tired. She recognized the sound. It was the sound of someone who was exhausted, and not just in the physical sense.

“Running away from home?” Nesta asked. The man turned his head to find her gesturing to his oversized bag.

Why did I just say that? she asked herself. Nesta rarely made conversation, much less with some stranger at a bar. It was abundantly clear that she had certainly drunk enough alcohol to wash away any and all inhibitions.

He chuckled. “Something like that.” The man peered at her closer. His hazel eyes twinkled in the dim lights as he inspected her. “Bad day?”

“Care to elaborate?”

A sober Nesta would have shut him down before he had the chance to even ask. A sober Nesta wouldn’t have even made conversation with this dark, handsome man.

Alas, she was three drinks down and had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

“I got into my dream school,” she started. “It has a really great grad program. When I read the letter, I reached for my phone to tell someone. Only, I realized I had no one to call. I… I realized that I’m all on my own.”

He stared at her for a moment. “That’s quite a feat. You should be proud.”

Nesta shrugged, uncomfortable with the man’s genuine tone. She never figured out how to tolerate a compliment, much less accept it.

They fell silent before he spoke again.

“I’m about to be on my own, too,” he confessed, focusing his attention on his calloused hands that rested on the counter. “And I don’t know how to feel either.”

No wonder he looks so exhausted, Nesta thought. She could see the conflict in his body language, his tone. War was waging in the stranger’s eyes, and it didn’t seem like the first time he’d gone to battle.

She wanted to ask where he was going. What was in his bag. Who he was leaving behind. But Nesta only nodded with understanding.

I see you.

In that moment, they formed some sort of kinship. They weren’t just two strangers at the bar. It was longing, Nesta realized. Longing for a connection, a companionship. To escape from the perpetual loneliness.

They stared at each other until the man broke his gaze when he checked his watch. He cursed.

“I have to leave now if I want to catch the bus,” he explained. Nesta watched him down the rest of his drink and stand up.

“Good luck,” Nesta said feebly as he shrugged on his jacket.

She wanted to say more. He seemed to need it… and so did she. “Whenever you get lonely, just remember that strange girl at the bar. She’ll be thinking about you.”

His face softened. “Good luck,” he whispered.