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#stray thoughts part one of i don't know how many
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Stray thoughts about The eighth sense, in no particula order, now that I’ve finished watching:
- The parallel of the therapist and the diner boss? Like this last ep’s scene where Jaewon sat with her and she got answers out of him so casually, it made me think back to their very first appearances on screen, it struck me then how their faces, first the therapist and then the diner lady were cut so close after one another, that I had to rewind a moment to check if they were the same actress at first glance. The function of an experienced older lady friend who is willing to listen to your stories, interested in the youth and their problems, and all the ways therapy/emotional work for growth can look like with a support system? Especially for young men maybe?
- the shots of the therapy sessions mirrored in those glass orbs, that give the association of small bubbles? like small bubbles outside of reality, a mirror to it, focusing some aspects for Jaewon, but being a small enclosed world nonetheless? We see the therapist reflected in those, reachng out, handing over prescriptions? It does feel like a limited reach and inflence, when she is in there, in contrast to when she moves freely in the room like in that last scene of hers with Jaewon, behind him and provoking him from the side, much more an interaction.
- the ocean metaphor with all its facets, if the ocean is life, or emotionality, we have all the variants for Jaewon: the fish tank in therapy as a tamed confined ocean safe to look at, the wild and dangerous waved of the real ocean, that Jaewon surfes and that make him happy, that he seeks out. The Han river and how he dips his toes in in that last ep, reconnecting with waters, emotions, a body of water that is closer within reach...
- in that context also the song Yoon Won sings at the campfire at the beach? about life tossing you inside the waves but that’s okay you will get through it’s just what life is, you can fall, it’s a part of it, also foreshadowing
- Jaewon’s secret photography account as a sign to us that no, his hope and dreams are not dead, just well hidden, but there’s actually a person still under that depression-paralyzed rigidity and frozen exterior
- how Yoon Won’s display of emotionality, there in the club room, her close up tears and struggle is what shakes Jaewon out of his rigor? How the therapist said ‘you are so caught up in your own trauma that you forget others’, and then we see the pain on Yoon Won’s face as she voices her struggles that must be a close mirror to Jaewon’s own emotional inner struggles and monologues, and suddenly, from out of the frame Jaewon reaches in, emphatically responsive in a way he could not fully be with Jihyun a moment before, where he still sat robot like, just holding out to preserve his armor because, not being able to allow that connection just yet,  Jihyun is too close still to his own trauma and warped need to protect, but underneath his depression Jaewon is empathic af, and the sincere responsiveness in his reaction then, that maybe is as important for accessing his own healing as it is important for Yoon won?
I’ll surely think of others, but. Man.
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riminiscensce · 29 days
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TO HOLD ִ ࣪𖤐
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CHARACTERS … gaming , heizou , kaveh , lyney , neuvillette , wriothesley
SYNOPSIS … what do they hold on to when you’re gone?
NOTES … been a while :D haven’t posted but randomly started writing for a hq, senku, and heizou series for some reason idk (also i think i kinda drifted away from the original thought when writing)
CONTENTS … sfw , angst , gender neutral reader
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GAMING …
gaming holds onto the hair tie you offered him during your early days together. on some occasions, he would leave his place in a hurry and forget about tying his hair back, so you were always there to make sure his hair didn't get in the way of his errands.
he would often get reminded that you weren’t there anymore whenever he would huff a bunch of stray pieces of hair out of his face. ever since you were gone, gaming had started to forget his hair tie back at home; the hair tie you gave him.
the thought of throwing it away and buying a new one always left a bitter taste on his tongue, he would often gaze at it looping around his wrist.
when the day comes that it snaps, gaming wonders if he’s still going to keep it or not, considering that it would’ve lost its purpose by then. or maybe it already had, when you left.
HEIZOU …
runaway pets are one of the many things that heizou does not fancy on handling. on rare occasions, pets are easy to deal with; they’re agile but still predictable and therefore not invincible to the detective.
but god is it annoying when the animal would just not cooperate with him.
though maybe he would give the job more credit, considering that he met you when your pet was on the loose. and heizou realized that maybe (only maybe) tracking down those pesky animals isn’t always a waste of time.
when there was a job up in the station, heizou was always the first to see if it was about your bratty pet. if it wasn’t, he’d leave. if it was, he’d dash towards your place, already having memorized the path needed to get there.
ever since you left, tracking down lost animals returned back to what heizou originally thought of them: a complete waste of time.
KAVEH …
there was this one restaurant you and kaveh would always eat dinner at whenever you two didn’t know what to eat.
instead of arguing and bickering over what to get for dinner, you would have a mutual understanding to go to the same spot instead. be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner, it didn’t matter so long you two had your time together.
if someone were to eat at the same place over and over again, they would have grown sick of eating the same menu every time. kaveh liked to think he wasn’t like that, the food somehow tasted different every time you would have new things to tell him. it was one of the many reasons why he didn’t get sick of the place.
when you are gone, kaveh fears stepping inside the restaurant. he starts to think that he wouldn’t be able to leave when he does.
he forgets the taste of every meal in the place, he forgets how different they would be each day, he simply forgets about the place, and you. or at least he tries to.
LYNEY …
everyone knows wilted flowers don't serve any purpose. lyney knows that they only serve as a reminder of the life they once had.
and the dead flowers that were in his place were indifferent. you always took the time off your day to take care of the plants, changing the waters, and even cleaning the vase from time to time.
but lyney only sees withered echoes of you when he sees the lifeless bundle in the same vase that hasn’t been cleaned ever since you were gone.
he starts to hate parts of himself for it. taking care of a flower seemed easy. he wasn’t even able to take care of the one thing that was left of you in his life. lyney starts to think that the wilted flowers were a reminder that he wouldn’t have been deserving of you.
if you had stayed longer with him, your relationship would have eventually shared a similar fate with the dead flowers.
NEUVILLETTE …
neuvillette’s office never felt empty when you were there. there was a particular seat that you always occupied when you were to visit him. you would sit on it while he sat beside you, sharing your lunch break together.
it went to the point that it started to feel wrong whenever someone else were to sit in your spot. but neuvillette doesn’t make them leave, being so attached to an object doesn’t seem right to him.
but maybe it wasn’t the object he was attached to, it was simply you. he was attached to how you were able to give something special to things that he barely took note of back then.
suddenly, it started to feel even more wrong when your seat was always vacant. maybe because some part of him wishes you would knock so gently on the door and make your way to your favorite spot while inviting him over beside you.
sadly, it never happens. a knock on the door doesn’t mean that you were back. the seat being occupied doesn’t mean that you were the one occupying it.
it just doesn’t mean anything anymore.
WRIOTHESLEY …
wriothesley’s hands were scuffed and scarred, they were brutal in a way that he uses them to defend himself from anything equally dangerous.
ironically, the same rough hands he uses to fight were also the same ones he used to hold you with. to hold something delicate and fragile.
it was the part of him you would always get to hold, gliding over any scars that would meet with your skin. in some part of him, he starts to think that he was also becoming dainty underneath your hold.
the hands that were meant to fight started to hold something that didn’t have anything to do with violence. wriothesley always thinks about that.
it was also the last thing he failed to get rid of in his head when you had gone. what were his violent hands without your subtle touches?
the only thing that wriothesley gets to hold was the complete absence of the air around him.
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rimi’s notes
thank u for the support and nice comments i always see :D take care of yourselves 🫶
hearts / reblogs / follows are very much appreciated ★
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alwaysshallow · 8 months
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— gorgeous, part 1
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader
You're a vet - and you wouldn't ever think that a big guy with a skull face, kitten on his hands, would be in your clinic. (2,1k)
AO3 version
A/N: I have no self-respect; Poland won in volleyball, SO. your insane man and vet lady is here <3
next part
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The first time you see him? It is a wild one.
You didn't really know how to react when your assistant, Bernie, stormed into your office, telling you that some "big guy with a skull mask" had a kitten that needed an examination. I mean, you were a vet, of course, and you ran your clinic to the 11 P.M. sometimes, but... the skull mask part?
First, you thought she was joking or trying to prank you, like in the past, when she told you that a guy came here with a head of a fish tank came to your clinic. When you thought about this later, it was really dumb that you believed that, but the emotions were too high before; you almost slipped on the floor when you were storming out of your office, to see if:
a) he actually had a fish tank,
b) if he had some fish in it.
The skull mask wasn't a joke, though; Bernie also looked like she saw a ghost or something, and was basically hidden after your figure when you went to the corridor, where patients should wait until it's their turn. Usually there weren't many people, only emergency ones, which happened rarely enough. You usually closed after 7, but today you decided to say a bit... longer. 4 hours longer, but who count that, right? There was no one except indeed a big, huge guy in a skull mask and military uniform; at least you thought it looked like a military uniform, your friend's best friend, Johnny, had one like that. You probably wouldn't even speak to him if he hadn't had in his arms a cat that was meowing sadly, like something hurt him – or, her. You didn't know what it was yet. Guy was scary as hell, and if he wanted to, he probably would've knock you out in just one move, but you walked closer to him – what he was gonna do, hit you with his cat in his hands?
"What happened?" that's the first thing you asked, as you approached the man; and for the first time, your gazes crossed.
His, unreadable, brown, piercing even. You couldn't even get a single thought from them, like it was behind some kind of shield, and it confused you, but interested you in the same time enough to know that this interaction will be seated in your mind for some time right now.
You always liked the mysteries, and he seemed like one.
"I don't know." he simply said, standing; and you could see how much bigger he was; not only in height, but in body, muscles. It was like a doll standing to a WWE fighter, as you watched those silly shows after your work at night. "Found that kitten near a dumpster. Seems like it's hurting, so..." he shrugged.
"Aren't you a talker" you murmured, your head up high, to look at him. "Come on in."
He said nothing; simply followed you, with that kitty on his big hands.
You didn't know his name even, and you were more than willing to help him, or more – to help this cat live without any pain because your heart was aching how pained and scared it was.
As well as your assistant, if you were talking about "being scared" part; she kept glancing at that big man, who put the animal on the special table (as you asked him to). It probably would be you in the past, the scared and with some kind of reserve but now, you were more than amazed with his gentleness to care about things like skull mask or the fact that he would crush you with his finger.
Trying to be as gentle as possible, you started examination; it was a certain routine if it was about strays, and this particular one seemed to be abandoned not so long ago.
Probably nothing was breaking your heart more than this; throwing animals to street instead of trying to get them a new home. You saw too much.
"I'll have to fill a report for animal shelter" you started after a few minutes, as you were trying to localize the cause of pain; it was probably a broken bone, but cat was pretty beaten up too. "And I have to know where it was exactly, if you know the streets around here. Maybe there's more kittens like this."
"Animal shelter?" he asked, and you could just feel how his brown eyes are piercing through your green scrubs.
Intimidating, to say the least, because in addition with his low, gravelly voice, it was something alluring, like you couldn't be indifferent about it. Hell, you didn't even knew the guy, he could be potential axe murderer that stopped in your clinic because he was sad about the cat.
"Yes, I can't take him. Someone has to." you explained.
"Who said I won't?"
As you raised your eyebrow, you looked back at him, in a little shock – positive one, though. Most of the people that were bringing strays weren't eager about giving them home, for multiple reasons, and you didn't judge. It was a good thing that they were bringing them here, but this man...
"So, you will?"
"Mhm."
You smiled under your nose, stroking the little kitten, as you waited for her to calm down, before taking her to an x-ray. Her new owner wasn't really talkative, but the most important thing was that he cared enough to not only bring her here, but to take her home.
It was easy to gain your trust, considering that the skull mask that he had right now wasn't so scary anymore.
"I'm gonna take her to an x-ray. Wait up here, okay?"
Again, no response, just a simple nod.
Was it thing about you two being strangers? He could act reversed only because of this, or he was maybe tired and didn't wanted to talk. Yet, you rolled your eyes to yourself while you were taking an x-ray in a special room.
Weird. Weird, because as the bubbly and talkative person you were here, always talking with owners of animals that were coming to you (or in some cases you were out in a farm or something), you couldn't do that here. I mean, right, he answered your questions, but it was... automatic.
Not leaving a small pole to discussion, and it was irritating at some point, because you wanted to tell him at least half of stories about strays and how it was heartbreaking to find them a proper, loving home. And how you were actually curious if he liked animals before, if he had any.
And yet you were, not able to talk to him in any way that would untie his tongue. If you weren't such a curious woman, you wouldn't give a single fuck, and you would only do your job, but... now, you were more than eager to have a proper conversation with that man.
At least a few words more.
"She broke her leg." you explained after an x-ray, to show him under the special light what were you talking about, when the results came in.
Usually, it wasn't so quick, but it was an emergency.
"It's not as bad as it seems to be, your cat will need a splint and a bandage."
He didn't say anything; just nodded, fucking again, still staring at orange cat that was lying on the table, with your assistant cooing to the animal.
You expected some questions, though. Anything. "Questions?" "Not really" he said, glancing at you.
"It will take a while. You can sit if you want" you pointed at the chair in the corner. "I can stand."
So if he wanted to stand, he will stand, end of story for you – so, naturally, you just started to do your job with the kitty. It was a stray, obviously, so it wasn't an easy job with her writhing under your hands, but you managed, somehow.
"Do you want to register me as her vet?" you looked at him again.
Maybe it could finally be a proper subject of your conversation – not many people thought about that when they were taking under their wings a stray, so you had to offer. Especially when that kitty was just too cute not to ask.
"Will it be different than visiting you from time to time?" he asked, his arms crossing on his chest.
"I mean, yeah. I'm under the phone, basically 24/7, if you have questions, you call me. Vaccines, medicines, everything is under your hand. And since the little one knows me..." you trailed off, focusing more on that construction you worked on.
It seemed almost done.
"Right, we can do that, then" he muttered, coming a little closer to the table, to look at his cat. "I assume you need something? Contacts, I mean."
You chuckled, amused. "Yeah, pretty much. Your phone number, your name, adress."
He frowned at that last mention and sighed, glancing over you again, like he was judging something before he actually will answer you.
Hell, what was that in him?
"Is adress necessary?"
"Not really, no."
You both went silent after this; as you finished, you sat to your computer to add another patient to your folder, where you kept everything in check. Meanwhile, Bernie was still occupied with the cat that was too sleepy to even respond, but the meds were kicking in, so it wasn't a surprise.
Rather, it was good. She needed some kind of rest.
"Name?" you looked at him.
"Simon Harris."
It felt like a lie, what he was telling you – especially his last name, but you didn't say anything about it.
"You have an idea for your cat's name? Or not yet?" you smiled softly.
"Not yet, no. And as for phone number..." he started searching for his phone in his cargo pants.
Took him a while, to go through the pockets, but when he finally managed to give it to you, you could finally save everything – the cat's name was just missing, but he needed to think about it.
You could think of multiple stories of people that came back to your clinic or called you to change the name in your documents, because they wanted something different. Mostly it was because the previous one wasn't a "good fit", but some were... funny ones, or weird enough that you didn't even bother to ask why.
Sometimes your curiosity got the best of you, especially when you asked why does he want his cat to be named "Pussy"; you regretted asking almost immediately, when he sat in the chair right in front of you. He talked for almost twenty minutes of his girlfriend and how he wanted to "give" her the cat with a name like that because it was funny enough.
And because of other things that you'd like to forget.
"Addison Frost. I run this clinic" you said, when he was saving your number in his phone. You could swear that he rolled his eyes, but it wasn't so clear as he wore that damn mask. What it was for anyway?
You wanted to see his face, badly.
"That much I figured" he muttered, his phone going to pocket of his cargo pants right now; he looked back at his cat, and at you again. "Can I buy something for her here? Or... I should go to the store?"
Hell, it was his probably longest sentence to you that day; and that made you smile a bit, when you reached out to the place you kept starter kits for kittens that needed to be taken care of more than the regular ones; you made a couple of them, and that was one of the last ones.
"No need to pay me for this" you said quickly, as he reached for his wallet. "It's... something that I give, just that" you muttered. "You can borrow that transporter too, until you won't buy your own. She needs to rest for the most of the time, and as she's a stray, she'll probably want to wander around your place."
He nodded, deep in thought, as you helped him with putting his cat into this; he was ready to leave, but before that, he dropped 90$ at your desk, leaving without any further explanation. "Hey! That's way too much, I can't take something like that" you left after him, approaching him as he was already putting the transporter into his Jeep. "It's just a simple help, not an operation, or..."
"You helped her" he cut you off, looking straight into your eyes "and that's enough. If that's too much, don't charge me for another visit or so. I won't take it back." he said, getting into his car; still looking at you, he nodded slightly. "Thank you. And, goodnight."
And with that, Simon Harris left you with many thoughts about that evening.
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osachiyo · 9 months
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☆ SWEETER THAN HONEY ! ๑'ꇴ'๑
ꕤ Genshin impact men + their favourite body part of yours, part one 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ
PAIRING ✧ Ayato, Kaeya & Neuvillette x fem!reader (seperate)
CONTENT WARNINGS ✧ Not safe for work content (mdni), oral sex , overstimulation, talks of anal but no anal actually, degradation, name calling, petnames, pussy slapping, fingering and etc
AUTHOR'S NOTE ✧ this one won the poll so here it is! Feel free to request other characters for this series! Happy reading <3 I don't own any of the artwork used.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !
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KAMISATO AYATO ✿𝅼
If you asked him what body part he liked most about you, he'd laugh it off, cupping your face with a large gloved hand and looking at you with his ocean blue eyes, " I love all of you equally, my dear. But if I had to choose, it would be your eyes." You felt your cheeks grow hot as he stared at you with his loving but mischievous eyes. His lips curl up into a grin when you tore your gaze away from him, struggling to come up with a response. To be completely honest, you weren't really expecting an answer like this but you should've, knowing how romantic your husband could be at times. "I love how your eyes light up when you talk about something you're excited about- or when your eyes gloss over when you're feeling particularly emotional. They're absolutely stunning." He continued, brushing a stray hair behind your ear as he kept going on about why your eyes were the prettiest to him. "They shine like glittering jewels, I could stare at them forever.." he mumbles, gently pulling you even closer for a sweet kiss, his lips moulding perfectly against your own.
When he said he loved your eyes, he also meant how they roll back into your skull when he's between your thighs, the soft flesh decorated with so many red, blue and purple bruises, his teeth marking you as his own. His now bare hand coming in contact with your sweet cunt, slapping the soft flesh as you cry out for him so deliciously, making his cock throb in his undergarments. You muttered out a string of curses when he started rubbing your clit, soothing the stinging flesh before slapping it once again, your juices going everywhere. You scream his name once he finally, finally indulges in you and shoves his tongue inside your gummy walls, still making eye contact while eating you up. He could see how your pretty eyes gloss over with unshed tears and how they roll back slightly when he hits a certain spot. He humps the bed, unable to go on without some release as he watches you fall apart on his tongue and fingers completely.
"Keep shedding those beautiful tears for me, darling. You look the most stunning when you're sobbing my name out."
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KAEYA ALBERICH ʚ ✮ ɞ
It was a lazy Sunday morning with your fiancè. You were perched atop his lap comfortably while he read a book and occasionally playing with your soft hair, his nose buried in it as he inhaled the sweet scent of your shampoo. You were playing with the hem of his shirt when a thought came into your mind. You paused for a bit then leaned back, smiling up at him as you admired his beauty. His dark blue hair was tied in a messy ponytail, matching his complexion beautifully. God he was beautiful. "Honey, I have a question.." He finally looked down from his book and raised an eyebrow at your playful tone. "And what would that be, darling?" You smiled at the nickname, "well, what is your favourite body part of mine?" He chuckled softly at your question, the slight dimples showing on his cheeks that you loved so much. He closed the book and placed it aside, wrapping his strong arms around your smaller figure as you waited for an answer. "well?" you inquired. He merely hummed, thinking for a bit before answering, "let's see, I'd say your smile is the prettiest thing I've ever seen in my life." He looked down at you, your gaze softened at his answer. You saw the look of pure love and admiration in his blue eyes, staring at your own reflection in them. "god, you're so cheesy, y'know that?" you slapped his chest gently, laughing at the way he pouted. "Whaaat?~ It's true!" He scoffed, clutching his shirt, where his heart would be to show you how hurt he was. "well..i guess your ass does look pretty ni- OW!!!"
He wasn't lying when he said he loved your ass, the soft flesh jiggling with each brutal thrust of his hips against your own. Your face was buried in the pillow, staining it with your unending tears and drool as your fiancè pounded you into the sheets exactly how you loved it. "Yeah you like that, fuckin' slut? You like it when I- mmh- fuck your brains out?" You couldn't answer him, the way his cock was hitting your sweet spot repeatedly. The only coherent thought in your head was how good he was dicking you down. His hand came down against your reddened ass, the hit stinging bad, making you jolt up, pleas and cries falling from your swollen lips as he rearranged your guts so damn deliciously. His thrusts slows down, greedy hands spread your cheeks open to get a better view of your soaked cunt swallowing his cock. He groaned at the lewd sight. His gaze fell on your puckered hole, twitching slightly as he licked his lips. You were about to whine for him to go faster when a glob of spit landed on your other hole, dripping down to your aching pussy.
"Ahh fuck, think I should take this hole next, sweet girl? It'd hurt? Aww, of course it would hurt! You need to experience a bit of pain to get good things in life, no?"
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NEUVILLETTE ༊࿐ ⊹ ˚.
If someone asked you how you started dating the leader of the Marechaussee Phantom, you wouldn't even know how to answer. Honestly, all you knew that he was your type and he was hot as fuck. So here you were, sitting on your boyfriend's lap as he did some 'very important paperwork', as he called it. You sighed dreamily, bored out of your mind as you hear the scribbling of his fountain pen meeting the high quality paper. You tried to adjust a bit, getting more comfortable on his thighs as you looked up at him, taking a moment to appreciate this man. You hummed, catching his attention as his gaze snaps from the paper to you. You smiled at him, making him sigh and put the pen down. "Do you have something to tell me, dearest?" You pondered if you should ask the question before looking at him again, "well..yes. I have a very important question to ask you, actually." He merely gave you a questioning look before motioning for you to continue. "Sooo....I wanted to ask, what part of me do you like the most? As in like body part.." He deadpanned, "that's the very important question you wanted to ask me?" "Mhm! So what is it?" He leaned back in his seat, "Hmm.. I'd say your breasts are quite the sight-" "NEUVILLETTE!" You screeched, shocked by his answer. He merely raises an eyebrow, confused as why you were 'squealing like a little piglet.' "I didn't expect you to be so blunt..." You mumbled shyly, resting your head against his hard chest, playing with the intricate design of his coat.
Oh your breasts were quite the sight indeed. He couldn't help but stare at the two bouncing mounds as you tried your hardest to ride him, your hips and legs were hurting from slamming down repeatedly on him, pussy gushing on his cock. But he didn't care, all that was in his head right now was how fucking tight your cunt felt around his throbbing cock and how pretty your tits looked, glistening with a thin layer of sweat covering them. Delicious, he thought to himself as he took one nipple in his mouth, making you slow down before a harsh slap against your other tit snapped you back into reality. You whined to him to take the lead to give you some relief but he refused. He kept suckling and biting the bud until it was left raw and sore, before moving on to the next one with equal eagerness. Oh don't you worry though, he'd massage them nicely after.
"Oh archons, you feel so good. Mmm...yes darling, keep bouncing. Maybe I should impregnate you, fill you up with my seed, hmm? I bet you would look so pretty with a swollen belly and tits full of milk, yes?"
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡
TAGS ☆ @lxverss @stygianoir
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jiniret-writings · 9 months
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Warm Blankets Pt. 3
Genre: angst, fluff
Pairing: Platonic!skz x 9th member!Reader
Warnings: strong language, self-doubt, arguing, feelings of unworthiness (If I missed any warnings, please let me know)
The actions of the members in this story do not represent how they are in real life. This is all fictional and should not be taken seriously.
Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3
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Earlier That Day
Tensions were high. With comeback so close and so many concerts and events to prepare for, Stray Kids barely had any time to rest. Your days were filled with practices, recordings, and even more practices. Four hours of sleep was your new standard, and even that seemed like a blessing sometimes. That morning was no different. You had woken up at 6am for an early vocal lesson, wanting to do something in your area of comfort before going for your practice with Chan.
You had been given a duo part with the Chan: something you had never done before. It wasn't that you weren't comfortable dancing with Chan. It's just that you never had a solo dance, always preferring to stay in the back for dance breaks. Vocals were your strong suit and you were more than happy being mostly heard and somewhat seen. When you were given the duo part, you were shocked. Seeing your expression, he just smiled at you and patted your head. "You can do it. I know you can," he said. You felt proud that he believed in you enough to give a part like that to you, so you practiced as much as you could, focusing on not just the moves, but making sure they were as perfect as they could be.
For the past few days, you had reached a place where you could be quite proud, but that morning something felt off. You went to your vocal lesson feeling nervous and tense. Your coach noticed and walked you through exercises to expel some of the tension, but you still harbored a feeling of unease. Still, you shook it off and walked to the dance studio. In the end, what mattered was how well you'd be able to dance and follow through on the moves. The choreo this comeback was more intense, but you were also more determined.
The choreo you had with Chan was short, but detailed. And that was where you were having trouble. You weren't a bad dancer, but it didn't come as easily to you as it did for others. It took time for you to really nail some parts. And that day, no one had the patience.
"No, you need to move them together, y/n. Together," Chan stressed, moving his arms and legs together in formation. You huffed in frustration, tired of running this same part over and over. Still, you listened and replicated what Chan did in what you thought was the right way, but he just sighed heavily in frustration, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head.
"I don't get it, okay? Maybe we just stop for today," you groaned, leaning against the wall. Chan just glared at you from where he was sitting on the couch.
"We can't just stop, y/n. You should've had this perfected two days ago."
"Well I don't, and clearly it's not happening now. Maybe if I take a break-"
"We don't HAVE time for breaks!" he yelled, suddenly getting loud. You gawked at him, surprised by the sudden outburst. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to yell back.
"Yes, we do. At least I do. Hyunjin has the practice room reserved after us. I can just ask him to--"
"He has his own practice! He can't babysit-"
"Babysit!?!" You couldn't hold it anymore. You got off your spot on the wall, going to stand closer to Chan. "I am not some CHILD that needs to be watched or whose hand needs to be held!"
"You're sure about that? You can barely extend a leg-"
"I'm trying to--"
"You're not trying hard enough."
"Bullshit! You're just looking for things to criticize about me!" you yelled, having had enough. You were tired and frustrated. You muscles hurt. Your brain hurt, and Chan nitpicking every muscles movement was not helping in any way.
"It's not like I have to look too hard, yeah? You're floundering around!"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" you asked, taking a deep breathe and closing your eyes, calming yourself.
"YOU-"
"No"
"-IMPOSSIBLE TO-"
"Chan, we are-"
"-AND HOW CAN YOU-"
"THIS ISN'T GETTING US-"
"IF I KNEW YOU'D ACT LIKE THIS, I WOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOU TO BE IN THE GROUP!"
--a breathe--a hand on your arm--and silence
At the Studio with 3RACHA
Thanks to Hyunjin's text, Han and Changbin knew it was a no nonsense type of day. They both arrived at the studio early, having brought some snacks and drinks to get them through. They made sure to bring every essential they would need to make sure they had everything they would need and wouldn't need to take unnecessary pauses for anything. Han even brought heat packs and a blanket in case it got too cold.
The studio was tense. Chan was much more quiet during the session, only nodding or shaking his head for the most part. The track was complex. It was a ballad, but there were tons of small audio elements that helped it give off that "mala-taste genre" feel. Still, he wasn't satisfied.
Han and Changbin each took turns messing around with their soundboards and looking through their libraries, adding and taking away elements that were either too much or not enough. They even set up the mic so they could make more practical sounds, hitting couch cushions together or unlacing their shoelaces to get sounds that were unique and possibly get the sound-bites.
Chan was huffing more than usual, and as they separated to write lyrics, Han started texting Changbin:
Han: Channie-hyung sounds like a dragon Changbin: Don't you dare tell him that Han: I know! Just, do you know who he fought with? Changbin: I called Hyunjin and said it was y/n. Han: NO Changbin: Yeah, they're at the cuties dorm now Han: I wanna be at the cuties dorm Changbin: Han Jisung Han: yeah yeah I HEAR HIMJDBCJ Han: Nvm, false alarm ;)
When Chan walked into the hallway, he started pacing. Nothing was coming easy to him. Everything sounded wrong, looked wrong, felt wrong. His skin was itching and his hair felt so heavy he wanted to shave it off. He started pulling at his clothes lightly, trying to find a way to release this aching discomfort he felt in his abdomen.
And the fight
He didn't know why or how he could've said those words to you. With every step, he replayed that last moment over in his head: the words leaving his mouth, the way your face morphed to shock, Hyunjin pulling you away, your eyes filled with tears...
He had never seen that look on your face. It was betrayal. Pure, complete betrayal.
He remembers the first time he met you. You had entered the company just the day before, hope shining in your eyes. He had been a trainee for five years at that point. He knew the routine: new trainee's came in with hope, they practiced with all they had, and the with each passing month and each passing evaluation, the hoe drained. Each comment from staff or the teachers or even from the other trainee's left them tired. And in the end it either became too much and they left, or they debuted. And then the trials really began.
But you were a fighter. He met you on your second day at the company and you were filled wit so much excitement. You were in a group vocal lesson and your voice was far from mature. You needed work and the vocal coach did not hold back on their criticisms of you. But instead of letting it get to you, you pushed. You listened to the feedback nestled between their biting words and you implemented it. It had been a while since Chan saw that specific vocal coach nod their head in approval at someone they so brutally tore down only an hour ago.
You could've had a big head. Chan knew when he talked to you that you could have an ego the size Jupiter, but instead he was met with someone so incredibly sweet and such a joy to be around. You two had lunch together that day, and from then on, Chan knew he'd fight for you.
He couldn't have thought that he'd fight you like he did today. Sure, you've had your smaller arguments and your disagreements here and there, but it never got to the point where any of you said anything terribly hurtful. You loved each other, you were family. But the look in your eyes when he said the words that he knew would hurt you the most? His chest squeezed so tight he almost forgot how to breathe.
Chan shook his head, walking back to the studio with a bottle of cold water from the vending machine. He knew he needed to apologize, but he didn't know how. When he walked back in the studio, Han and Changbin looked at him with soft eyes. He could've cried.
He sat down and stared at his laptop. Next to him, Han and Changbin shared a look. They couldn't just sit and let this stew on any longer. Changbin had filled Han in on everything that happened, and they knew the sooner they addressed this, the better for everyone.
"Hyung," Han started, closing his laptop and leaning forward. Chan glanced up at him before looking back at his work.
"Yeah?" he answered, much softer then anyone expected. He was still looking down, but his hands had stilled.
"There's so much pressure on us to do well and there's so many deadlines to meet..." He paused, looking at Changbin, who got the hint.
"You snapped at y/n, and that was a dick move."
Chan's head snapped straight up at that. Changbin took that as a good sign and kept going.
"You need to apologize. And soon," he said, getting straight to the point. Chan just looked at him shocked, unable to get any words out. He knew he had to apologize, but did you even want to see him? Wasn't it too soon? Changbin and Han looked at him expectantly, wanting him to say something. Anything.
"I," he cleared his throat, rubbing a hand along his face. "I want to, but..." he stopped. But what? But they might not want to see me. But they might need some time alone. But they might want to take a break from everything but they might want to leave the group but they might want to disappear. Chan's thoughts fed him every scenario and conversation that might happen.
Finally, he looked down at his hands. "But they're with Hyunjin now, and probably with some others, and they might want time to cool off before seeing me," he said finally. He knew Hyunjin wouldn't leave you alone, so at least he knew you had someone with you.
"You don't have to talk to them now. Just apologize. And let them curse you out, it might make them feel better," Han said, giving Chan a small smile.
"Let them know you're here. And that you're sorry and didn't mean anything you said. You didn't mean it, right?"
"Of course I didn't mean it," Chan said. It was the one thing he was sure of all day. It didn't hit him immediately. But when he was watching you and Hyunjin walk away, it was like the words kept repeating in his head, mocking him.
If I knew you'd act like this, I wouldn't have fought for you to be in the group!
He shook his head, and he felt two hands on his back. Han and Changbin had moved right next to him and were looking at him with understanding and care. I don't deserve them, he thought. He laid his head on the table for a few seconds and took some deep breathes. He deserved to be punched and yelled at and told to go fuck himself, but instead he had two of his members comforting him.
"You can wait until tonight. The others are with y/n/n now. But you should apologize before they go to sleep," Changbin said softly. Chan nodded and smiled at the two. They patting his back and went to go sit down. He'd fix this. He had to.
At The Cuties Dorm
When you fell asleep on Felix's shoulder, he gently stroked your cheek with his finger, wiping away the faint tracks your tears left behind. You nuzzled into his finger and clutched onto his arm tighter. Cute he thought.
Minho and Hyunjin walked back to you all and, seeing your sleeping figure, lowered the volume of the TV and looked at your bedroom door. Looking at Felix, he just nodded and moved aside so Minho could pick you up and move you to your room. Felix went to your shared bathroom and took all of your skincare products to your room, setting on your bedside table.
"Besties don't let each other sleep with makeup on," he said quietly, balancing everything in his arms. It was something you would say whenever you all got back from a late-night schedule. You never let him go to bed with his makeup on. So if he was too tired to take it off, you'd finish your skincare routine before going to Felix and doing his. And so you two had a routine: if one was too tired to take their makeup off, the other would do it for them.
When Minho tried to lay you on your bed, you refused to let him go. Your arms stayed clutched around his neck, and your face nuzzled deeper into his chest.
"Okay," he whispered, crouching down to try and place you on the bed again. "I'll get in with you, okay? But I need to put you down first." He kept his voice low, not wanting to wake you any more than you already were. You groaned lightly but your grip loosened. As soon as you were on the bed, he got in next to you. He put arm around your head and you hummed in contentment.
As soon as Felix set everything down, he turned on the little bedside lamp and got to work, getting rid of any makeup still left. They thought you were still awake but that train of thought was interrupted by a small snore. Minho and Felix looked at each other and laughed quietly.
"Long day," Felix said. Minho nodded, just patting your hair and keeping it out of your face. Minho knew about the hate comments you were getting and how much they were actually bothering you. He walked in on you crying in a practice room and your phone had been open next to you. You put up a strong front in front of everyone, but it hurt.
Ever since, when things got bad, you would hand him your phone. It was a silent message: I need a break, I'll be practicing all day. And he'd just nod, give you a hug, and let you go. This time, a small hug wouldn't do. Comments from random strangers on the internet hurt, but comments from the inside burn.
He looked down at you now, peaceful expression on your face, and sighed. He knew Chan would come to apologize and that it would hurt again, but to heal a burn you have to let it sting first.
Almost like the very thought of him summoned him, the doorbell rang. Minho looked at you again, not wanting to let go. But he gently moved his arm from under your head, gave you a small kiss on your head, and went to the kitchen where he saw Chan standing in front of everyone.
Han and Changbin came with him. Minho couldn't see his face, but the grip Changbin had around Felix's shoulders seemed like he was trying to hold the younger member back. His suspicions were confirmed when he came closer and took one look at his face.
"y/n/n is asleep," Seungmin said, leaning against the counter. He didn't look mad, just tired. In fact, they all did (except Felix who was never able to hide his malice). It had been a long...this pressure had been building for too long.
Chan looked at your bedroom door, left slightly open by Minho. All the determination he had on the walk over had left him. All the anger and stress was gone and replaced with intense regret. "Can I?" he asked, nodding towards the door. Jeongin nodded at him, standing on the other side of Felix and putting a hand on his shoulder. He had dropped the glare but disapproval was coming off of him in waves. Chan understood the feeling.
Walking in, he took one look at you and took in a deep breathe. You were curled up on your side, clutching a pillow to your chest. Your breathing was even and every few seconds you'd let out a little snore that made him laugh. Chan put a hand on your cheek and you immediately nuzzled into it.
He teared up and took another breathe. "You are so talented," he started whispering. "You work so hard and try so hard in everything you do. Without you, we aren't Stray Kids. I am so so sorry I made you think something that wasn't true," he continued whispering, not wanting to wake you up but still wanting to get the words out.
But you were awake, having woken up but the sliver of light let in by the open door. You didn't open your eyes, afraid that you'd lose your courage the moment you looked at the person who was like your big brother.
"It hurt," you said quietly. Chan's voice caught in his throat and the pressure in his chest grew. "I know you were stressed and frustrated but it hurt. A lot."
"I know, y/n/n. I know, and I am so sorry. I never should have let my frustration hurt you like that," Chan choked out. He wanted to hug you but he held back. He leaned down, getting on his knees beside the bed so he could be at eye level with you. Your eyes were still closed but you could feel him looking at you, closer than before.
"I never meant to say it. I swear, fuck, I swear on everything that I am that I didn't mean those words for even a second." Chan was crying now, but he said every word as clear as he could. The thought that you thought of yourself as less-than deserving to be in the group and that you were hurting because of him made him feel like pulling his heart out. "This group wouldn't be compete without you. Every day I see you work I am so proud of the performer and the person you've become. I-" his voice caught again, and the tears came much harder. He turned his head away, wiping relentlessly under his eyes.
A few moments later he felt a hand on his arm. Looking over at you quickly, he saw you. Your eyes were open and tears were coming out at the same speed his was. Your lips were wobbling and when you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing that came out was a choked sob. Chan's own sob mirrored yours.
You jumped out of bed and crouched right next to Chan, hugging him tight. At your touch, Chan cried harder, pulling you close and holding a hand to your head.
"I didn't want to disappoint you but I-"
"There's no 'buts' y/n/n, you could never disappoint me. You did so well today and I was just too in my ass to see that," Chan said, holding you tighter.
"You really were an ass," you sobbed out, crying louder. "But I forgive you just please be patient with me."
"I will. I promise I will. I'll be patient and help you through whatever you need and we'll take breaks. And when it gets frustrating, we'll separate and come back after a few minutes and I promise to never, never, talk to you like that again."
The two of you stayed on the floor, crying and apologizing and making promises that you knew would be kept even when the sun rose.
Together
Felix had a real talent for baking. When the two of you emerged intact and together, they knew all was well. Felix was the first to break, giving you both a hug and punching Chan in the arm, holding back so it wouldn't hurt too much.
"We warmed up the cookies and brownies, and I added some sprinkle hearts on the cake," Felix said, walking back to the kitchen. You smiled, taking Chan's hand and following him.
"There's nothing late night sweets can't heal," Changbin said. Han just nodded along beside him, cheeks stuffed. You smiled, squishing one of his cheeks, unable to resist. He half-heartedly tried to bite your hand, making you laugh louder before sitting down next to him, putting a head on his shoulder. He responded in kind, putting his head on top of yours.
"Hey, is that a rat on the cake?" Han asked, trying to discern the shape Hyunjin drew. The artist in question gasped.
"Excuse you! A RAT?!? My cat is not a rat!"
"If you made Dori look like that I'd punch you," Minho added.
"Hyung!" Hyunjin whined.
You giggled and tried getting up to get some cookies but Han pulled you back. "Nuh-uh, you're not moving anywhere," Han said, putting a cookie to your mouth. You rolled your eyes, but chewed, sitting back contently. Chan put a plate of cake and brownies in front of you, ruffling Han's hair, earning him a bite too.
The next hour was filled with stories from the week, laughing until people started falling off chairs, and good food. When the night started catching up to you, you looked at the time and saw it was 4am. Everyone was laughing at a joke Changbin and Seungmin were telling and you smiled.
My members, you thought again, feeling warm inside.
You went off to your room, laying in your bed, letting the laughs lull you to wonderful dreams, but it wasn't long until suddenly Hyunjin yelled, "Where's y/n!" and suddenly you could hear eight pairs of feet running to your room. They rushed in, looking at you in bed, and you were smiling tiredly.
"I'm sorry, I was just tired," you said softly. Changbin cooed at you, coming over and flopping on top of you. You grunted, feeling squished, but it wasn't too bad.
Until the seven others followed, piling on top of you one by one. You sqeaked, surprised by the sudden added weight of eight guys. Everyone was moving around, trying to find a way to get comfortable until finally, they all settled down. Hums of contentment and happy sighs were heard all around.
Knowing it would be useless to fight it, you just relaxed and closed your eyes. And with your members wrapped around you like a warm blanket sleep and sweet dreams came easy.
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Thank you so much to everyone who has read this little series and showed it love. Every comment was so sweet and I am genuinely so thankful for everyone who read this! I hope you liked the finale as well! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. And as always, have a great morning, afternoon, evening, and night!
-Jini
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feyascorner · 4 months
Text
6 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. You remember how the sunlight glistened against his skin the morning after your first night together. The longing in his eyes for the very same thing now makes your stomach churn.
It might have suit him even more than the moonlight.
With an irritable sigh, you take your blade and press the sharp end against the tip of your finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you alive,” you reply, pushing your fingertip now with a bead of blood trickling down its side, toward his face. “Drink.”
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, reader is a bard
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. 6.4k words,,,tav is better than me i would've thrown hands like twelve years ago,,,I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I WROTE THIS IN LIKE TWO DAYS???? also thank you for all your comments they really motivate me to write!! so have this monster of a chapter early as thanks!!
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"You'll kill them, Astarion," you mumble. "They might not have had the power to help you, but they're still your siblings. I don't want them to die hating you."
"They're not my siblings--not really. I don't care what they think of me. Hells, they could haunt me even in the afterlife, as annoying as that would be, but they're no innocents either. They've brought in as many souls as I have," he responds, his jaw visibly clenching at the thought. "I don't care if all seven thousand of them die hating me as long as you're here."
And while you feel flattered, you can't disregard the worry driving a hole through your conscience. Ever perceptive, he lifts a hand to brush stray strands of hair out of your face, his fingertips tracing your jaw. His voice is but a hushed whisper.
"You understand, don't you, my love? It would set me free--after two hundred years of forcing myself through hell--I can finally free myself from Cazador," his tone sours at just the mention of his master's name, and he intertwines his fingers with yours, drawing your attention back to him.
"It is what you want for me, no? For me to be happy?"
It is what you want. Just not like this.
Music was your way of releasing the mountain of feelings you kept locked away in your chest, waiting for the right person to recognize them for what they are. You’d hoped someone would understand the meaning behind your lyrics without you telling them outright, and they’d know what it truly meant to you. And for a while, you’d believed Astarion would be the key to this safe.
You couldn’t have been more wrong.
“While I usually entertain your certainly out-of-the-box plans, this is bordering on just foolish, I’m afraid,” Gale sighs, eyes tracing you as you pace around the house, stuffing every possible weapon and healing potion into a brown sack. Despite his insistence, you ignore him, testing the blade of a knife against the edge of the table. It’s not entirely dull, nor is it sharper than the dagger in your drawer, but it’ll have to do. “Simply charging into the tavern won’t do much good if you’ll be overwhelmed in number anyway.”
“I know what I’m doing, Gale,” you hiss, snatching an Alchemist’s Fire and shoving it a tad too hard into your bag. He tenses. “If they want to talk to me so badly, then I’m not waiting around for them to attack another one of my friends—I’ll go to them.”
“Yes, your determination is certainly praise-worthy, but can we please just sit down and think this through before running into a battlefield with a few knives? This is basically a suicide mission.”
“The wizard is right, even if it’s hard to believe,” Lae’zel announces from the corner of the room, wiping a cloth on her sword. “When I arrived, they’d already fled. They could be anywhere by now, and they’ve had more than enough time to plan another ambush if we were to charge now. We must be smart about this. I am a warrior, but I am no fool.”
“I’ll go by myself,” you say, a sense of finality in your voice. “They already showed what they’d do if someone they didn’t want to talk to approached them. I’ll just talk to them.”
Gale stares with lidded eyes. “So why are you packing so many explosives, exactly?”
“...Precaution?”
Silence befalls the room, and you take it as a sign to finish your preparations. All you can hear is the crackling of the fireplace and the rain falling against the windows of the home. The lot of you had somehow managed to stabilize Shadowheart by the time Lae’zel returned, and while she’d been conscious earlier, you insisted she rest before she consumed herself with the investigation again. You didn’t miss the way she limped back to her room with little to protest against you.
“Take the spawn with you.”
Two jaws drop at the words, the only one remaining fixed belonging to Lae’zel.
“The kainyank is living here to help. Not cause more problems for us. And so far, he’s only done one of the two things, and I’m dangerously close to turning to my blade if he doesn’t choose otherwise,” she says. “The spawn are searching for him, too. If blood breaks out, you must use him to flee safely.”
Gale blinks. “As in…use him as a body shield?”
“What else is he good for?”
While the wizard seems positively appalled, you can see the contemplation flicker in his eyes before he shakes his head. He's always been more considerate than the rest of you. “No, Tav would never agree to such a-”
“Okay.”
They both whip their heads toward you, and you avoid their piercing gazes, staring down at the dull blade in your hand. “It might help, too, if we find out why they want him. There are nearly 3000 spawns in the city—we can’t kill all of them, at least not immediately. It’d be best if we convinced them to leave, and the best way of doing that is to understand what they want in the first place.”
Lae’zel narrows her eyes. “Then you must swear it. Swear that if Astarion were to face risks, you will leave him behind. If he were to turn on you, you slice through his throat without a second of hesitation. He is there to aid you–nothing else.”
“I will,” the words feel hot on your tongue.
And so, you soon find yourself standing in front of his door, hand reaching for the door handle. There’s a slight pause right as you touch the cool metal, but you bite your tongue and shove it open, praying he’s still not as ravenous as he was a few hours ago. And much to your surprise, he appears wholly composed.
He lowers his book to his lap, eyes training themselves on you as they dart from your bag and then back to your face. The window’s wide open, bathing him in the moonlight, with dark curtains tied to the wall to keep them from obscuring his view of the city. He raises a brow. “What could you possibly want from me at two in the morning? Come here for a cuddle?”
You’re scowling again.
“I need you-”
“I’m flattered, but I fear you may stab a butter knife into my eye, so I’ll have to decline.”
“Not like that.” Your frown creases deeper at his smug grin. “We’re going to the Blushing Mermaid to find the spawn.”
“Just us?”
“They want to see us.”
“And if I refuse?”
The answer is almost immediate, cutting through the atmosphere like a knife on bread. “I hear the bloody bedrolls in the Duke’s dungeon are very comfortable.”
He drops his smile at this, and a tiny spark of pride puffs your chest. He seems to weigh his choices before snapping his book shut and standing from the bed, snatching a comb from his bedside table before pacing up to you, pocketing it behind him.
"A comb?"
He shrugs as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, I doubt you’ll be giving me a weapon of any sort, so I must make do.”
You don’t correct him.
As the two of you make your way downstairs, you hear your other companions speaking.
“I didn’t expect you of all people to defend Astarion,” Gale says in disbelief, still comprehensive as Lae’zel poorly cuts up slices of an apple.
“I am doing no such thing, istik,” she mutters. “I am giving him a choice. Either to pick up his dead weight and prove his life is worth more than the dirt on my shoes or die at my hand.”
The walk to the Blushing Mermaid is painfully awkward. To you, anyway, because he seems positively unbothered the entire time. Seeing him leisurely follow behind you is irritating—and it bothers you more than you’d like to admit.
By the time you survey the area around the tavern, you’ve discerned they must be inside, considering there are no ambushes awaiting your arrival. While it’s a relief, it also increases the anxiety of what lies inside the tavern itself, and you confirm your knives are at your disposal if it were ever to come to that. You sincerely hope it doesn’t. Astarion sighs dramatically for the umpteenth time as you approach the front doors, and you finally snap to look at him with a glare.
“Will you stop breathing so damn loud?”
The change in your attitude toward him is apparent, but he doesn't seem to care. If anything, he seems more pleased with you than he was before every time you shoot him an annoyed glance or something along those lines. He responds with lazy answers, but it's better than the bitter ones he gave you before.
You're not terribly surprised, though. He's always loved pissing people off for his own entertainment, and it would be an understatement to say that he's been somewhat successful with you.
“I’m not breathing, my dear. I don’t need to, remember?”
“Then what is your problem?” you hiss between your teeth. “Are you trying to wake up the entire city with your insistent groaning?”
“Must we do this tonight, of all days? Couldn’t this wait till tomorrow?”
“No!” you say in exasperation. “That gives them too much time to heal and recover from Shadowheart and Gale. It has to be tonight, just in case they do decide to fight—then we’ll have an easier time because, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s just us two!”
He sighs again, and you swear you might pluck a strand of his hair for good measure. And just as you shove past him and reach for the door, he clears his throat again. Loudly.
“For God’s sake, what?” you nearly yell.
He smiles at you, pointing at the front door. “Well, if we’re looking to avoid an ambush, perhaps we should find another way in than the main entrance. Unless my prior knowledge as a rogue proceeds me.”
You blink. You recognize the validity of his statement and feel your face flare, and you immediately march past him again—the other way this time—and search for the nearest wall you can climb up to the roof. You hear him snicker, but you do your best to ignore it. 
Somehow, you manage to climb in through the window, admittedly a lot louder than him, but you don’t think it’s fair to compare yourself to him when he has footsteps lighter than a child’s. Hidden behind one of the tables, you peer into the rest of the tavern, which is completely empty save for the bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere. You turn to signal to him that the coast is clear, but he’s nowhere to be seen.
Immediately, your face drains of color.
“Right here, darling.”
He drops down from seemingly thin air, and you gasp, nearly letting out a shriek if it weren’t for your hand covering your mouth. He grins at that.
Bastard.
“There’s nobody in the entire building–at least, not visible to the eye,” he confirms, glancing around the room.
“How do you know that?”
He points at the ceiling, and your eyes follow it. “Someone decided to build such useful beams on the roof. You can see the entire place from up there. Care to take a look?”
While you would have thanked him if he had been any other person, you only march straight by him. “Don’t do anything without telling me first.”
“No ‘thanks, Astarion’?” He quirks a brow but huffs when you ignore him. “Very well then, my liege. No need to acknowledge a humble servant such as I. But I shall let you know when I’m about to take any questionable decision.”
You’re starting to wonder if his presence is worth the headache it gives you.
Pacing around the tavern, it seems all too normal. No blood splatters against the wall, no broken chairs—hells, even the booze cups look clean, which is a rarity for the Blushing Mermaid. You check each room, inspecting down to the last cups in case there are traces of blood in them, but to no avail.
It’s like there was never anyone here.
“You look like you’re having trouble, my dear,” Astarion clicks his tongue mockingly, leaning back in one of the more luxurious chairs he’s decided is his own.
“Considering the only company I decided to bring along is lounging around like a bum, I’m not surprised,” you say back, now searching the smallest cracks in the walls for some sort of secret passage. It’s strange. Even though your companions had spoken of the bodies they encountered when facing the spawn, there’s not a single speck of blood in sight. Neither is there anything outside but the whistle of the wind.
“This particular wall must be quite fascinating.”
You fight the need to groan and whip around to snap at him, but he’s suddenly just a foot away from you, staring at the spot you’d been squinting at. Gods, you hate how quiet he is when he walks.
“As wonderful as it is getting a fresh breath of air,” he feigns disappointment with a half-hearted sigh, turning to walk toward the entrance. “I believe we’ve done what we can. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d love to return to my book–”
The wooden floor underneath him creaks. It sounds hollow.
As if there’s something underneath.
“The basement,” you blink, eyes wide. “The hag’s lair.”
He stares at you as if you’ve taken too many mushrooms. “It was sealed up after we rid of that dreadful woman. Good riddance, too, I mean, I’m not particularly fond of children, but eating them, even I wouldn’t be able–”
You rush toward the very corner of the tavern, sensing that he’s following you regardless of his obvious distaste toward your decision. There, you push against a table perched on top of the basement latch and test its locks.
It’s open.
“Heavens, it reeks here. How didn’t I smell it before?”
“Of what?” You sniff the air. “I don’t smell anything.”
“Blood, my dear. Fairly recent, too, if my judgment hasn’t gotten rusty in the time I’ve spent cooped up in that room,” he pauses. “And I haven’t gotten rusty, to be clear.”
“Right,” you retort, reaching down to pull the latch open. You don’t see him do the same, and you glance at him quizzically.
“Gods no,” he says, when he realizes why you’re staring. “I’m doing no such thing that ruins these nails.”
You sigh. Loudly.
The latch opens relatively easily, but you make an effort not to simply swing it open in fear the occupants inside might be warned of your arrival. You prop the trap door open against a chair and begin your descent down the stairs, remaining as silent as possible.
The first thing you can notice is that he’d been right.
The stench of blood burns in your nose, and you immediately cover it with your sleeve to avoid inhaling anymore. You’ve smelt enough of your companion’s blood today, and you’d rather not continue the streak with the blood of complete strangers. Astarion, however, frowns.
“Such a waste,” he mumbles.
When you turn to where he’s looking, there’s a pile of bodies—poor victims, no doubt—lying over a puddle of their collective blood mixing with one another. It almost feels inhumane to leave them that way, just hours after their death, as if they’re cattle to be used.
Though, in this case, they are cattle.
“Are you sure it’s them?”
“I’m telling you it is!”
“Where’s their lyre, then?”
“How would I know that?”
You locate the source of the whispers instantly, reaching for one of your daggers as your eyes bore into the corners of the lair that are obscured from your view. Astarion steps forward before you can figure out a plan to approach them, arrogance exuding from his very body as he holds nothing but the comb tucked in his back pocket. “We can hear you, you fools. Come out before I lose my patience.”
“What are you doing?” you hiss.
“They’re only a few spawns, my dear. Nothing like Cazador—no need to be so cautious.”
You open your mouth to protest, but a woman emerges from the shadows, her eyes trained on your own as she marvels at your mere presence. You realize she’s not alone as multiple vampires begin to emerge from different corners of the room, all a safe distance away but not enough to ease the nerves jittering in your stomach. She steps toward you. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”
Another spawn steps beside her, and you immediately notice how ravenous he seems, eyes almost glistening with hunger as they bore straight into you. The woman puts a hand on his neck, seemingly soothing him, before he slumps his shoulders again, but the pure violence swirling in his head doesn’t seem to vanish. She then looks to Astarion, and the expression on her face morphs into something more akin to dread. “And you, brother.”
“Dalyria.” Astarion only stares with lidded eyes, visibly unfazed.
You instinctively scan the entire lair, searching for any differences you can spot since the last time you were here. The only glaring thing besides the bodies piled in the corner is the study desk on the other side of the room, scattered with different potions and concoctions. Behind the desk is an entire wall plastered with diagrams—most of which study the anatomy and functionality of what you can only determine to be a vampire judging from the fangs. There are also beds everywhere—though they look like they could collapse any second—and the room almost looks like a hospital.
The atmosphere between the siblings is so uncomfortable you’d think they’ll start attacking one another any second.
“Is Leon here?” you finally cut through, lowering your hand away from your blade. “I need to speak with him—technically, all of you.”
“How curious. We were hoping to speak with you as well,” she says, motioning all the other spawn to stand down. It does little to ease you. “By all means, feel free to go first.”
You take the opportunity, too exhausted, to demonstrate polite etiquette. “The spawn are causing too much trouble in the city, Dalyria. They’re killing too many people, and it’s getting noticed by more than enough people. At this rate, you’ll lose some of your own if the Fist figure out how you guys are hiding throughout the city.”
“...Yes, I’m aware.”
The resignation in her voice makes your throat bob, but you continue anyway. “I’m saying we need to get you guys somewhere more stable. Whether it be the Underdark or elsewhere, we can’t have you staying here.”
“I see,” she says slowly. “I appreciate you trying to talk this out with us, but I’m afraid I cannot grant your request.”
Your shoulders tense, and you can see Astarion shift beside you. “You don’t understand, sister. There’s going to be an outright war at this rate-”
“Baldur’s Gate is our home as well, Astarion. You, of all people, should know this,” she demands. “We have a right to remain here, and if the Fist insists on forcing us out, we have no choice but to retaliate.”
“But you’re killing the city off!” you gawk in disbelief, unable to believe what you’re hearing.
“We’re surviving,” she corrects, the corners of her lips turning downward. “Surely you can’t hate us for that.”
“Then…” you blink at her, positively appalled at her words. “Why the hells did you need to speak with me? What was worth putting my companion through hell?”
“...There is a way—for both parties to benefit.” She looks down at her hands, then back up at you. “I didn’t expect the both of you to come together. Our informants were correct when they claimed to see Astarion in your possession. In all honesty, we technically only needed one of you, but this makes things a lot quicker.”
Confused but desperately wanting an answer, you urge her to continue. Only you can see the way Astarion’s hand slips toward his pocket, where his comb lies.
“We were going to ask you to bring him to us, you see. But it appears you’ve already done the hard part.”
The dreaded intuition in the back of your mind tells you something is wrong. Very, very wrong.
“Me? What do you need me for?” he scowls.
She disregards him and continues speaking to you, leaving a sour taste in your mouth. “If you turn him over to us, you’ll never have to see him again. That is what you want, yes?”
Both you and the pale elf freeze.
“I watched as my brother nearly killed you the day of the ritual,” she continues. “I understand how you feel being betrayed by someone you thought shared your pain. And I believe this is a way to relieve you of that pain—and finally move onto a new stage of your life.”
She acts as if Astarion is the only thing holding you from moving on from the past few months of your life. And if she’d said so a week ago, you would have nothing to defend yourself with. But you’ve cut the few strings left that tie yourself to him. You remind yourself that you no longer care for him, regardless of the slight squeeze in your chest. You’ve already sworn to force yourself to disregard him, and you want to say all these things to her, but nothing comes out. So, instead, you keep your mouth sealed.
Astarion scoffs from beside you.
“For God’s sake, please tell me you’re not actually considering this. Let’s just force the madwoman out and go,” his voice attempts to stay firm, but it’s high-pitched at the end. He’s panicking.
You don’t respond to him, and he stiffens. “...My main concern is the city. If you think you can use my personal matters to convince me to just let you keep killing all these people–”
“That matter will resolve itself in its own time. We’ll return to the Underdark—or wherever it is you wish, and you won’t have to spend your nights hunting us down anymore.”
With a dry throat, you fixate your gaze on her face, desperately trying to discern any hint of a crack in her mask. Instead, you find nothing. “Why would you do that? For one spawn?”
“I’m afraid that’s for me and my siblings to know. But I can promise you that no harm will come to you if you take this deal.”
For what seems like the millionth time this month, you have no idea what to do. Lae’zel’s words flood you like a wave crashing onto shore as you remind yourself that Astarion is here not as your ally but as a shield. If things are as Dalyria says, simply turning over the man standing next to you would end this entire ordeal. You could return to your everyday life of repairing the city, learning to heal and grow from the terrors of the illithid invasion. You could learn to let people in again.
You could learn to play music again in hopes of finding the person you dreamed would understand.
Such an enticing, perfect deal. It’s almost too perfect. But you’ve learned not to trust perfection, especially when handed to you by a vampire spawn.
Astarion, who had been observing your expression this whole time, almost seems to read your mind. Or perhaps he’s just feeling selfish, ready to defend himself. “You’ve created a lot of problems for me, dear sister. I’ve gotten accused of your own murders, thanks to your pets.”
The delirious spawn, who’d looked sluggish after Dalyria’s soothing, now bares his teeth at Astarion. Dalyria attempts to calm him again, but it’s no use. The bloodthirst cannot be satiated unless there’s blood spilled on his very hands.
Astarion doesn’t seem to take a hint—or maybe he does but chooses to simply ignore it. “I’ve always known you were strange, Dalyria, but really? Experimenting with your ‘useless procedures’ on fresh spawns? He looks positively possessed, sister. He might just resort to eating you instead.”
“They are not useless, Astarion,” she snaps. “I am a doctor. I’m only curing what needs to be cured.”
“Then tell me why you haven’t managed to cure yourself of our curse? You may be intelligent in medical aspects, but gods above, you are more foolish than Cazador himself if you really think you can cure vampirism.”
“I had nobody to test my ideas on for two centuries, Astarion! Now that I do, surely I can-”
“You’re starving them, Dalyria,” he snaps, tone drastically different from the banter you shared just minutes ago. “And they’ll give into the thirst sooner or later.”
His words are the final straw.
The spawn who’d been standing beside her launches himself toward you. Before you can even register what’s happening, his fangs are at your throat, your neck tilted so it shoots pain up your side. Just as you feel your skin split at the tips of his canines, Astarion rips him away from you so harshly that the spawn flies helplessly into the wall, which crumbles under his weight. Dust flies into your eyes, and you cough, wiping at them until it clears just enough to see Dalyria staring in horror.
“I told you, Dalyria. You are no doctor, not anymore,” Astarion scoffs, eyes narrowed into slits. “And I’m afraid I can’t let you kill my liege here, as I’d much hate to be trapped in a cell somewhere underground.”
You reach the specks of blood drops forming on your neck, horrified by the close encounter you had with death just seconds ago. The culprit of your injury lies unconscious beside the cracked wall, and you wonder just how hard he had to be thrown to be rendered in such a state. You can see the other spawns’ eyes practically glow at the sight of your blood—fresh, unlike the pile of corpses on the other side of the room.
She turns to you, desperation pouring from the wavering of her voice. “Please, don’t make me do this. Don’t make us enemies. All you need to do is give us Astarion. My brother, for heaven's sake!”
You think better of it. Something that obviously pleases Astarion if the way his face relaxes tells you anything.
“May I?” he glances at you.
Surely, there are ways–more civilized ways–-than drawing your blade, but the ferocious growling from the rest of the spawn tells you otherwise. You need to find out why she needs Astarion so badly, and clearly, she’s not willing to tell you unless it’s through pure force. You despise the idea as much as you despise the predicament you’re in, but you refuse to be attacked and deliver nothing back.  Just as you nod to his question, another spawn lunges, unable to resist the red staining your neck.
But it’s smart this time, choosing to eliminate any threats before turning to the full course. In this case, the only thing between you and the vampires is another vampire.
“Brother!” Dalyria shouts, horrified.
You don't bother calling his name, only barely manage to tackle Astarion out of the way before the spawn’s claw sinks into the very ground he was standing on just seconds ago.
As embarrassing as it is to practically crash on top of him, both of you wince because it’s more painful than anything. You force yourself up with your arms, and it’s then that you see even more spawn crawling from whatever shadows they hid in, and you realize you are terribly and most definitely outnumbered. By a lot. 
“Dalyria, if you’re truly a doctor, do something! Stop them, godsdammit!” you shriek in her direction.
“They’re not—they were doing so well!...” she gasps before she reaches for a tattered journal and desperately files through its pages in a frenzy. “They were nearly docile before. I don’t know why–”
You feel Astarion’s hands slip out of the sack you carry on your back, realizing you hadn’t even noticed him opening it. He’s still lying flat on the ground, and you look down at him, puzzled before he laughs bitterly.
“I’ll be borrowing this for a few minutes, darling.”
You barely dodge another spawn that comes flying at you, rolling off of him and practically slamming into the wall. And before you can crawl away, your knife—in Astarion’s hand—stabs through the spawn’s left eye through the back of their head, specks of their blood splattering against your cheek.
You want to throw up.
“No, don’t harm them! Please, just let us go!” Dalyria pleads, but you’re finished being patient with her. She clearly has no way of calming the spawn, and you’re tired of being thrown around like a ragdoll in the mess that is the lair.
You yank out the Alchemist’s Fire and chuck it at the nearest cluster of spawn—around 2 or 3—and flinch as the vial collides and explodes into flames right before your eyes, blowing your hair out of your face in a gust of smoke and wind. You swear you hear Astarion cackle in utter glee at the destruction, but you choose not to dwell on it, too busy figuring out how else you could get out of here alive.
“You’re ruining the patients!” Dalyria screams, and you almost regret not throwing the vial at her instead.
“Your spawn are the ones attacking us!”
Suddenly, her face goes impossibly pale, and you hear a hiss of pain from a few feet away. Astarion winces as one of the spawn claws at his chest leaves behind a reasonably deep wound following the path of their sharp nails. Your knife is kicked away from him, and you hear Dalyria again just as he reaches for the comb instead. “Brother, be careful!”
You’re not sure if she wants you and Astarion dead or not, but it’s seriously giving you backlash at this point.
He stabs the comb into the spawn’s neck and kicks him away, and you take the opportunity to send the knife he dropped through the air.
By some miracle, it pierces straight through the spawn’s arm. Astarion lets out a breathy laugh from the floor, attention glued to your handiwork. “Ha! And to think that could have been me!”
And while you want to admire your aim yourself, there’s no time. Dalyria’s footsteps rush up the stairs, out of the basement, and you realize you need to follow moments after Astarion, who’s already fleeing up the steps, cursing under his breath. “That demented wench!”
You stand to follow after him, but the remaining spawns are already blocking your way. There are only two more, but you brace yourself for the worst, reaching for whatever remaining weapons you have left in your sack. The smoke and debris feel suffocating in your lungs, but you have no choice but to push through, praying to whatever God you can remember at the moment that this be the last time you have to fight this many vampire spawn. Or any, for that matter.
You wish you had left your fighting days behind you when you defeated the elder brain, but you suppose even that was too much to ask for.
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You arrive just in time to see the sunrise.
Lying against a wall is Astarion, who you find just before the sunlight hits the part of the ground he’s on. He’s clutching his shoulder, which drips with his own blood, and showing no signs of the quick vampire regeneration. You stare down at him, face stoic as you wait for him to say something.
Judging from his condition, you assume Dalyria got away.
“Leaving me to die here would be unwise,” he scoffs. “Though it’d be rather easy to let me burn to death in the sun, I must remind you that I much rather prefer decapitation if it’s all the same to you.” 
“I’ll consider it,” you reply curtly. "Can't promise anything, though."
He leans his head back, amused. The sunlight is just a few feet away now, and you wonder how long it's been since he's been outside to watch the sunrise. “You’ve always had a cruel streak in you. I just had to lure it out, sometimes, but when it did come out—Gods, you should have seen it yourself.”
“You’re delirious,” you remind him, observing just how much blood he’s losing. You remind yourself of your resentment when worry probes a small part of your heart. One that you hope dies soon. “Why aren’t you healing?”
“I haven’t been exactly feeding well, unfortunately. And days old boar’s blood can only sustain me so long, darling,” he lulls his head forehead, sneering to himself. “Now that I think about it, dying by sunlight sounds rather poetic, don’t you think? Perhaps you can make a song about my glorious death.”
He’s definitely unhinged from blood loss.
You sigh, tossing his arm over your shoulder as you deem the sunlight a bit too close now. It’s a slow process with your own body’s soreness, but you manage to drag him to a more shaded area, propping him against the wall there so that you can rummage through your sack for a healing potion. You stop when his hand latches onto your arm.
“What?” you frown.
“It won’t help. I need blood, my dear.”
“There’s none for you here.”
“The bodies in the basement,” he bites back a groan, more blood gushing out of his shoulder. “I can make use of them--give their deaths a sense of purpose."
The displeasure on your face must be apparent because he laughs.
You pause, lowering the sack onto the ground. While you’re illuminated by the sunlight now, he remains in the shadow of the building, only able to see the sun with how it reflects off of your skin. And you find that he’s no longer looking at you but looking past you into the glowing orb you call the sun. You remember how its light glistened against his own skin the morning after your first night together. The longing in his eyes for the very same thing now makes your stomach churn.
It might have suit him even more than the moonlight.
With an irritable sigh, you take your blade and press its tip against the tip of your finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you alive,” you reply, pushing your fingertip now with a bead of blood trickling down its side, toward his face. “Drink.”
His eyes widen, and the temptation is more than evident with how his mouth falls open as if he tastes your blood from a few inches away. But as fast as it had come, he tears his eyes away. “I’m not taking your blood.”
“Stop with your prideful act, Astarion. You’re going to bleed out.”
“I wouldn’t die, exactly. I would just remain unconscious until I can properly heal myself.”
You spare him a long, hard stare. He refuses to look at you, biting the inside of his cheek to ignore the scent of your blood. And it's painfully clear he's failing.
You have no idea why he's so insistent on avoiding your blood, but you refuse to spend your own time pondering it.
“Fine then.”
He watches in utter loss as you lick the blood off of your finger, shrugging. “Bleed out for all I care.”
You turn to stand, but his hand latches on your arm once more. You’re not sure if you’re imagining how warm he feels, but you think you must be. He's always been terribly cold.
“Do you hate me now?” he asks again, this time staring up at you through his lashes. “Have I finally run through your patience?”
The question remains the same as he asked you a week ago, but it feels different now. This time, you know your answer, and it feels so, so relieving. You just wish you could understand his own feelings, but his expression is so superficial you don’t even attempt it.
“Yes,” you reply blankly. “I hate you.”
He takes a moment to process your words. You have to admit it’s satisfying to say it to his face, even if your hatred for him is new. But perhaps because it’s new is why you feel it so strongly, and you silently thank it for how confident you sound saying the words. Even if they taste bitter. You think he might have some quip to respond with, but he only smiles, and as usual, it doesn’t reach his eyes.
You never want to see it again.
Without another word, he pulls you down to him, and you nearly topple over before stabilizing yourself with either of your knees on either side of his legs. He breathes against your neck, and you think he might drink from you until you feel his fingers brush against your nape. Immediately, your body freezes like a deer in headlights, flinching at his touch as your mind involuntarily forces the last memories you have of his hands on your neck.
And ever so perceptive, he notices how you recoil from his touch.
You hate your body for reacting the way it does out of fear. Not the disgust or the anger, but something much more pathetic, and you want to go back on your own actions to stop yourself from appearing so weak to him. You think he might tease you--taunt you, even, but he stops, slowly pulling away and lowering his head from the crook between your shoulder and head.
You’re unable to see his face, but his movements seem more sluggish.
Instead of going for your neck, he lifts your wrist, brushing his lips against it before sinking his teeth into the tender flesh.
Despite the initial sting, it’s a feeling you’ve grown accustomed to over time. With him, it had always felt so intimate. It’s why you can’t help but feel heat bloom across your cheeks before you remind yourself you no longer care for him. Only when you think he’s drinking a bit too long do you try to pull away, but his arm loops around your waist, bringing you even closer as the amount of blood he’s taking increases with how deep his fangs are.
You feel so cold, yet heat burns through your very blood. It makes your head dizzy, and you take it as a sign that he’s had enough.
You only manage to speak a few seconds later, breathless. “Astarion.”
He pulls away, seemingly out of breath himself as he releases his hold on the rest of your body. He runs his tongue over the access, staining the side of his mouth. He uses his finger to make sure the rest is off his face. “I know.”
He rarely feeds so messily, so you discern he wasn’t lying when he said he hadn’t been drinking well. Knowing he wasn’t deceiving you brings little relief, but it’s still a welcome feeling. Rubbing at your wrist and the two puncture wounds now residing there, you stand up and slug your sack over your shoulder. He watches you the entire time, and you hate that you can never seem to read his expressions—only one, and that’s whenever he claims to despise your very existence.
His shoulder has already stopped bleeding.
“Why didn’t you drink from those people at Sharess’ Caress?” you finally say.
“Their blood…” he pauses, trailing off, and suddenly he seems to change his mind. “...I've grown tired of it.”
“Blood is just blood, isn’t it?”
He stares at you for a moment, then laughs.
“I wish it was, darling.”
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bunnys-kisses · 2 months
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teacher's pet - halsin silverbough
pairing: halsin silverbough x fem!reader rating: 18+ tags: pwp, apprentice!reader, master/pupil relationship, smut, 2.3k words, multiple positions, a small fic a/n: partially inspired by this post by @chiwhorei
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  To join with Halsin was not something you expected to happen. You were quite content with being his apprentice in the Grove. But, when he decided to join the party to find out more about the tadpoles, you were taken away on the adventure too.
At first it was hard to be away from home, you often missed it quite dearly. But Halsin was there to comfort you during the early period of your journey.
  ”We will return before you know it.“ He said as he placed you in his lap and rubbed your head with his large hand. He wiped away the stray tears and even joked that you'd become a hero. That made you smile a little.
You, a hero? It was almost comical. You bloomed under his attention and care, he still made sure that you were kept up to date with your studies. When he returned to camp, he often asked you questions about what you had been reading that day.
  ”You have to keep your mind sharp, you know.“ He said, ”Now, why don't you try again with that question?”
But with time, his touches lingered longer. His gaze held yours more often. He often found himself touching parts of you while at camp. He especially loved placing his hand on the small of your back and guiding you around. After all, you were meant to learn everything from him.
He told you that he could never imagine leaving you behind at Emerald Grove. You were meant to be his side, after all that was why he picked you to be his apprentice. Even though he had many throughout his life, there was none like you.
  “So curious.” He once said, “So kind.” He wanted to reach out for you, but stopped himself. He had to maintain a hard line between apprentice and pupil.
But in all fairness, it didn't take long for the line to become blurred. Those back at the Grove wouldn't know if he touched your back or got a good smell of your hair as you walked by. They wouldn't know that he had one more than on occasion pleasured himself to thoughts of you.
He wondered if you had any lovers, if a man had ever touched you. Not that he was the most possessive man, but he was curious if he had to teach you more than just healing.
He wondered how you tasted, how you sounded when you reached climax. How hot your body would run if he pleasured you in just the right way. There were many questions that all made him wonder if he'd ever get an answer or would they be simple ideas that wracked his brain when he was alone.
He stood close to six feet and five inches. He made you feel so small, even with the encouraging smiles. He knew that, he knew that you'd always be so much smaller than him. But that was alright, he was your teacher after all. Which meant that he was assigned to protect you when the wilderness outside the Grove became too powerful for you.
And of course, you'd be there to bandage his wounds. One time you were applying bandages and he got a good look at your cleavage. He wondered if such a smaller woman could become as powerful as him. He held a need to protect you, even from himself.
But he was often lost in thought about you. You were the same way. And like a strong magnet, you came together in a night of heated passion. Then another one soon after that, then another one after that. Soon it became a frequent occurrence.
  “I'm doing this to train you further, you should be able to perform under pressure.” But in reality he loved how you squirmed on his cock and he loved dumping his seed deep into you.
  “Of course, master.” You blushed, “I want to learn everything you know!”
He smiled and patted your head, “ Of course, little one. Now come here before the others come back.” Then patted his lap.
-
It was another long day, night had crossed the sky. Most of the party was asleep except for you and Halsin. You had waited in the dark until Halsin moved from his bed roll and went into the forest. You followed soon after him like a puppy dog.
He heard you following him and turned around to look at you. You picked up the pace and got closer to him. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to him. Your face was up against his side as he led you further into the woods.
You felt excitement to your core as eventually you two found a familiar clearing to have your nightly activities. You felt a heat pool in your gut as you exited the thickness of the woods.
He let go of you and you walked closer to the nearby river. His gaze caught the sight of your ass as you swayed your hips from side to side. He chuckled to himself, “Teasing me, aren't you?”
You looked at him, “No, sir.” And yelped when he closed the gap between you two and grabbed you by the ass. He squeezed the cheek and leaned down to kiss you to silence you.
Your legs became like jelly as you melted into his kiss. He knew exactly how to make you weak. You had trained so hard to have zero weakness! Yet, your master was the one who left you so weak and vulnerable.
When he pulled away,  he took you by the hand and led you up on the boulders that lined the river. He began to undress you slowly, it was like opening a present. He had seen you naked before, but this was something else. To see you up so close.
He kept you in his large lap as he pulled your clothes off of you. His callused hands grabbed your breasts. He pulled at your nipples gently over your thin bra before he took that off too. Your naked body was exposed to the warm air of the night.
  “You look divine, my apprentice. I wish I could have done this sooner. To taste you, to have you.” He dipped his head to kiss at your neck. You reached behind you to grab onto his hair.
He continued to play with your breasts, he listened closely to the sounds that you made. His covered erection rubbed against your back.
  “Do you want me, little one? Do you want to feel me inside of you.” He pulled at your nipples once more, “Because I want to feel every inch of you.” His voice was low and hot, it made heat curl in your stomach.
  “Please, sir. Take me.” You whined in response. You did everything you could to keep your voice low. You didn't want your passionate cries to be heard from camp.
He chuckled, “Of course, anything for my little apprentice.” Then picked you up with ease and placed you down beside him. He slowly began to take off his clothes, careful not to toss them into the river by accident.
You blushed at the sight of fuzz on his body and the strength of his muscles. You often joked that he looked like the bear he turned into, and he said that you'd make a cuter cub. Which only made your ears grow hotter.
Once he was naked,  he man-handled you like you weighed nothing and got you settled back into his lap. He pushed hair away from your face and buried his face in your neck as he moved you so you could be seated on his cock.
You held onto your knees as you felt the stretch of your pussy around his cock. You held your breath and reminded yourself to breathe as you sank on his length. When you were fully seated on it, it felt like it was in your throat.
He was big, but it only made sense considering his proportions. He was a large man with a cock big enough to make anyone feel small.  You slowly rolled your hips to get more adjusted to his size. You puffed out your cheeks for a moment as you tried to move up and down his length.
He groaned into your heated skin as he held you in his arms. You could feel the hair on his chest against your heated back. You panted and moaned but tried your best to keep your noises down to a minimum. When you became used to his size inside of you, you felt the wash of pleasure over your heated body.
  “Halsin, ah!” You whined as you began to move faster.
He chuckled and kissed at your neck, “That's it. Such a good apprentice. You're an amazing learner. But you still have a lot to learn.”
  “Ah, sir!” You squeaked as you felt his cock bully your cervix. Of course you'd end up with the man with the largest cock at camp. Not only was he your teacher, but also your lover.
  “I feel like I should be quizzing you now.” He laughed, “There's a lot you can learn while being intimate with a man.” He kissed your neck and held you close to him.
You felt your brain practically leak out of your ear. You let him take control of rutting up into you. You reached behind yourself and held onto him as you rode him. Your heart hammered in your chest as the sounds of your fucking filled the nighttime air.
His hands were back on your breasts as he played with your hard nipples. His breath was hot against your already heated skin.
  “Please, Halsin.” You whimpered as you felt his cock hit more of your sweet spot. You felt your toes curl as you tried to relax against your lover.
  “I know, I know. You feel so good. I can't get enough of you. Since the moment I saw you, I knew you were destined to be mine. Now I have you all to myself. To love, to be with.” He said as he thrusted up into you.
You moaned and arched your back away from your teacher. He held onto your hips to guide you up and down his length. Every hard thrust felt like a blow to the gut. It left you breathless. With his heated pants against your shoulder you felt like you were in a state of euphoria.
You kicked out your legs as you felt a sting of pleasure run up your spine and the heat bloom in your chest. Your head started to feel hazy from the intense feeling. You cling to your lover as he thrusted up into you. His large frame behind you made you feel so tiny and vulnerable.
  “My sweet apprentice. You always know how to repay me for my teachings.” He remarked with a slight joke to his voice, “You know how to drive me wild.” He said as if he didn't try to have sex with you weeks earlier while in his bear form.
Your body bounced against his thrusts and you held onto him harder for some stability. Everything felt loose on your body and your brain felt gooey and soft like honey. He had a way with you that you couldn't define into words.
  “Please, Halsin.” You whimpered, “Please, sir.”
  “Of course, little one.” He then positioned you on your hands and knees, facing the river before you as he thrusted into you at a different angle. You were so easy to move, he could put you into whatever position he needed you in.
Now with a deeper angle, you felt like your womb was in your throat from how hard he was thrusting up into you. He groaned as he continued to move his hips. He pushed you further into the rock under you. Your hips were tilted at an angle that he got to the deepest parts of you. If he was hitting against your cervix prior, he was for sure doing so now.
Your eyes rolled back and the orgasm took you by surprise. You gripped onto him as you arched your back once more. You felt sweaty but at the peak of your pleasure as you climaxed around his heavy cock.
  “Good girl.” He said with affection in his tone. He continued to thrust into you. He gave it his all as he held onto your hips, he watched your ass move with each one of his hard strokes.
He licked his lips and leaned in to give your back a nice string of hickies. You were just too perfect in that state, with your nose pressed against the cool rock. To fuck out in the wild was a blessing, to share the sight of your pleasure with nature.
You were divine, his little student. He was going to make sure that you learned everything he could offer. Then maybe, if you agreed too, he'd make you his wife. But until then a little pleasure went a long way.
It wasn't the most conventional,  but he didn't mind.  You'd make a great woman for the rest of his days. With a few more thrusts of his hips, he finished inside of you with a loud groan.
You two slowed down as the slowness of post orgasmic bliss took over. He pulled out of you and pulled you into his arms. He kissed your face before you turned in his arms. The sight of you aroused him once more.
You giggled a bit before you ran a finger across his slick cock. You whispered, “Let me help you, sir. I see you still have a bit of a problem.”
The chuckle came from deep in his chest, “Of course. Help your teacher, please.” He knew he'd be falling asleep with his cock nestled in your sweet sex.
Such a teacher's pet.
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eliluvschan · 2 months
Text
My Eternity
pairing: bang chan x reader
word count: 2.098
warnings: cutie channie explaining his relationship & like one curse word?
genre: fluff
a/n: when i tell you i've never had a boyfriend would you believe me? lmaoo i blame the 4am thoughts for this one. took me 4 hours to write this with like 7 mental breakdowns through? i was listening to WOW and i reeeaally wanted to add Jisung's; jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo? but rlly didn't know how lmao + i'm addicted to this small lettertype so imma use it from now on ;) okay now i'll let you go read. enjoooooy ♡
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i’ve known you ever since the day when we were kids.
- we’ve been neighbours since childhood. you moved to my hometown, went to my class and blended in. everyone liked you, how could i not?
the happiest moment to ever exist.
- i was always happy when you sat beside me and my friends, not wanting to make friends with the others in high school.
check my bucket list, oh, you were on the list.
- before i met you, i didn’t have a bucket list. you just kind of became my best friend and we made a bucket list together. i never showed you mine, cause you were on the list.
i’m living the dream, somebody heard my wish.
- it has always been my dream to have someone like you by my side, so understanding, so beautiful with such an amazing soul. my wish has been heard and i’ve been the happiest ever since.
call out your name.
- my Y/nnie, princess, little one, baby girl, sweetheart, darling, love, honey, baby, jagiya, sweetie, future wifey, koala bear, cuddle bug and many more sweet names. i can give you a million nicknames.
you do the same.
- Channie, future husband, baby, jagiya, sweetheart, cutie, sweetie, boyfriend, darling, baby boy, prince, hottie, kangaroo, Chris, Christopher, Bahng. you never run out of nicknames for me and they always make me blush, laugh and flutter.
hug you all day.
- you love hugging me and so do i. it’s the best part of when i come home after a tiring day of practice and engulf you in a big hug like it’s the last time i’ll ever hug you.
i hope this’ll never end for eternity.
- i love you like the person you are, how your nose and brows scrunch together when you can’t open something and always ask me, or how you silently hug me from behind or the side when i’m busy producing songs. i don’t ever want to leave your side.
— ❀ —
i just want all time to stop.
- time has always been an issue. whether it’s morning or evening. i won’t ever get tired of you. the way you whine in the mornings for five more minutes, or evenings when you cling to me like my little koala bear.
— ❀ —
i’m never letting go.
- i am never letting go of you. you’re stuck with me jagiya. now until eternity.
let’s go on a little walk, see the world outside.
- i always have to drag you outside, or else you want to stay inside most of the times we're together. it's cute.
don't wanna let you go.
- never ever will i leave you. my eyes always find you in a crowd, at concerts or fan-meetings. one small smile and i feel like i can achieve anything in this big, scary world.
the way that you give me your hands, i'll fly.
- the first time you gave me your hand, was when your date dumped you at prom. you were so sad and i wanted to punch the bastard right then and there. even though i wanted to be the one who took you to prom in the first place.
at times when i feel down or empty.
- the times when i'm stressed with work, or when i have writers-block, you're always there to distract me. even without me saying anything, makes me love you even more.
you're always beside me.
- you're always there to catch me at my lowest moment. when i feel like a bad leader, or when i feel like i'm not enough for you, the boys or my siblings back in australia. you're just there doing something random with Jisung or Hyunjin and it brings the hugest smile to my face, making me forget all my worries.
promise that i'll love you plenty.
- i promise that i'll always love you. even when i don't show it or say it enough, my heart only beats for you. the way you joke around with Changbin, Felix and I.N. or play savage with Lee Know or Seungmin. it just fills my heart even more than i thought it could.
i hope this'll never end for eternity.
- i'm sure i tell you this lots but the way you always fiddle with the strings of your (my) hoodie or the way you put your hands in your or my holes in our jeans when you're anxious. it's adorable.
— ❀ —
when i look at you i know that you're the only one.
- i have never been in serious relationships but this one with you is something else. i want you to know that i want you as my first and last for everything.
the only one yeah.
- you're the only one that can make me do things i usually hate and the only one that can calm me down in your own magical way.
nothing in the world could beat our little special bond.
- nothing in the world can try and break our bond. with each other we can be crazy in our own way and none of us would judge each other for that.
'cause we are one.
- we are one. you complete me just as i complete you. you know everything of me like i know everything about you.
run around and make a mess, we don't even have to rest.
- the boys are always loud and a mess so i guess i need you to help me clean after them. being a dad of 7 is a tiring job. luckily i have you and together we can do anything.
every moment is a precious memory.
- every moment together or with the boys are precious. like dancing with danceracha until the early mornings, rapping sessions with 3racha in the studio or just joking around with vocalracha when they have nothing to do.
the way you wake me up in bed, yeah, i hope this never ends.
- you always lave little kisses around my face or just stare at me, staying in my embrace. it's mainly me waking you up cause you love your sleep and always ask for 5 more minutes to lazy around in bed.
i'm lucky that you're my best friend so.
- my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, significant other, my future wife, my girlfriend, my everything. there aren't enough words to describe my love for you. guess we should thank your parents for moving right next to us when you were 10.
— ❀ —
i just want all time to stop.
- those last 16 years went by so fast, it's crazy how fast time flies. i'll never forget our first encounter at school. you bumping into me and then scolding me for accidentally dropping my juice box on your blouse. i felt bad and handed you my shirt. and had a huge smile each time i saw you wearing my shirt that day around school.
— ❀ —
i'm never letting go.
- the time i confessed, and you didn't reply, i thought you'd hate me. instead you grabbed my face and gave me a long and passionate kiss. you were barely 17. i was 20. yet it was the best decision i had made that day.
let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.
- our first date was a walk around the beach. your hand was safely in mine as it was a little over 12 am. our phones full of missed calls from our parents as we enjoyed each other's company.
don't wanna let you go.
- when we told our parents about our relationship, they were over the moon. they never expected us to end up together and your father gave me a firm handshake and told me to speak to him later. never had i feared for my life more than the glare he gave me.
the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.
- the way your hands fit perfectly in mine. it's a sign huh? you're my soulmate now and forever. or how you moved to seoul for me because you couldn't stand the long distance, not realising it would be lonely for you. but then again, i forgot what a social butterfly you are and became friends with half the Kpop industry as you were a dance teacher yourself, teaching dances to little kids who were passionate about dancing.
at times when i feel down or empty.
- there's always times when i feel down or empty. like how i worry about if Berry might forget me after not seeing me for a long time and you reassuring me that she won't. because that's who you are, always reassuring me and the others if one of us is feeling stressed.
you're always beside me.
- you've always been beside me. when i was a trainee, when i debuted, when i wasn't sure about my career and all the other choices i made in these last 16 years. you could read me like an open book and knew all my struggles back then and now.
promise that i'll love you plenty.
- the boys are always complaining how mushy i get when they mention you. they've also mentioned a million times when i'll propose to you, not knowing i've started planning way ahead and am planning to ask you very soon.
i hope this'll never end for eternity.
- you always bring me and the boys lunch on your free days or in the weekend. knowing that we all love your cooked foods. and then like to hang around and even dance together with us to choreo's that Lee Know teaches us. or how you even made some changes to the dances cause you thought they could use another movement.
— ❀ —
ah-ooh (eternity)
- you'll always be my eternity.
ah-ooh
— ❀ —
you make me call out your name.
- a little after 5 pm you arrive home. immediately jumping into my arms as you dump your shoes, coat and bag somewhere in the hallway. ''i missed you jagiya.'' i smile in your neck as you hum in response, telling me you missed me too.
you do the same.
- the way you always call my name when i come back home late. telling you not to wait up, yet every time you still do, attacking me in a tight hug and whine cutely telling me to take a quick shower before we head to bed.
hug you all day.
- the door opens and a few seconds later you're in the hallway with two heavy bags of groceries that you picked up on your way home. while you're cooking, i hug you from behind and we stay in each other's presence as you cook a delicious home made dish.
i hope this'll never end.
- even after a long, tiring day at work, you never fail to amaze me with the amazing dishes you learn from the internet, my mother or yours. the praises i give you aren't enough, so i'll feed you too.
— ❀ —
i'm never letting go.
- you've teased me a lot about going to my 'side-hoes' even though i've never had eyes for someone other than you. of course in those 6 years that we've been together we've had multiple fights. but we always went and apologised even if the fight wasn't that serious. we also have an unspoken rule to never go to bed upset and always communicate things with each other before accusing without proof.
let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.
- i'm planning on asking you on the beach. the exact same one where we had our first date years ago. i've got the perfect plan in mind to get you there and the best way to ask you. i can't wait to see your reaction to this song i wrote for you and the reaction you'll have when i go down on one knee and ask you to be mine for eternity.
don't wanna let you go.
- today, i asked your parents your hand in marriage. they were thrilled to see their little girl getting married to her first boyfriend from 16 years ago. 6 years ago your father glared at me for being the boyfriend of his daughter. today, he gave me a hug and told me he trusted me as your husband.
the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.
- you're never getting rid of me, jagiya. i'll always love and cherish you for who you are. and so will the boys. they were so happy when i told them i'm finally proposing and wanted to be part of the plan too.
eternity.
- you're sleeping in my arms right now, not realising that the ring i'm planning to slip on your finger soon, is safely in it's box in my right hand, while my left arm is tightly wrapped around your fragile body, holding you close to me, your head on my chest right where my heart is beating just for you.
~
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ghostofhyuck · 4 days
Text
AN: Hey, hahaha it's my first time writing a suggestive, detailed make-out session so don't judge me lmao.
01:47 AM
"Hey beautiful," Mark grins as soon as the door closed.
Coming home to see you sitting on the couch, waiting for him despite the late night gives him energy even though he spent the whole day practicing for their concert. To add to that, he's also working on his solo too.
"Hey love," you giggled as you approached him. His arms automatically spread just so you could embrace him with ease. As soon as you crashed onto him, his arms wrapped around you tightly. He breathes onto your hair, smelling the vanilla-scent of your shampoo. Mark smiles fondly as he gives it a sweet peck.
"How's your practice?" you asked, looking up to him.
"Tiring, the kids' never ran out of energy! But it was a fun practice, hopefully we stay healthy until the tour ends," Mark explains.
"Is that so? Do you want to sleep now? I know you have a schedule tomorrow," you said with a concerned tone.
Mark thought about it for moment, but this is only one of the nights where he goes home to you. Especially when you're still awake. He often catches you sleeping when he arrives, and could only savor a few hours in the morning because he has to leave early too.
"I'm good, I just miss you baby," he confessed.
You smiled at him, brushing his hair fondly. "You miss me?"
"So so fucking much," he said. His voice deeper than before.
You only let out a small laugh when you felt his lips crashing onto yours. Mark can taste the peach lip balm of yours. Never mind that you already did your nightly lip care routine, all he wants is you.
You kissed him back, reciprocating the longing that you had to taste your lover's lips. Your arms draping around his shoulders so that you could pull him closer. While Mark's hands trailed down on your thighs, tapping it gently so that you could jumped onto him. His arms gripping your ass firmly as he carries you all the way to the couch.
Mark lays you down gently. He breaks away from the kiss making you whine quietly.
You saw how his eyes darkened, hands brushing away the stray hair that covered your face. Gently, he cups your left cheek. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this."
"Mark ---" and before you knew, his lips are on yours once again. It's sweet, intoxicating, probably something inside him grew a craving for you.
You couldn't help but to drown into the heat. Feeling things warming up as you can feel your lover's hands trailing around your body. You moaned as his tongue enters your mouth, savoring your taste more.
Mark's lips trailed down on your jaw, leaving trails of kisses on your neck, throat --- until he reached your shoulder, a part where you're sensitive the most. You could only inhale sharply as you can your lover bites your skin, sucking it, and leaving marks on it.
"M-mark," you couldn't help but to call out his name, your hands loosing its grip on his shoulders as you fall more into the pleasure. You could only close your eyes as you feel everything heating up more.
"Baby," Mark called out once again, he kisses you once again, much sloppy this time.
But your eyes widen when you felt Mark's hands trailing down your waist, tugging the waistband of your pajamas. Eyes wide, you lightly pushed Mark away from you.
"Wait, shit I'm sorry baby," Mark apologized immediately, realizing what he has done.
"No, no, it's okay," you answered back. "Things got heated up too."
"No, it's not okay, I crossed your boundaries."
You only smiled at your boyfriend. "Mark you didn't, I pushed you away and you got the signal, you stopped immediately."
Mark became quiet for a while. Guilt eating him up.
Despite the many times you two made out, you two never had sex because both of you decided to do it after marriage. It sound old-school but Mark respected that decision of yours when you first open it up.
Mark knows where his boundaries are and he never done things that would make you uncomfortable. He's satisfied with what you two had. There were only a few times he almost crossed the line but once you told him to stop, he immediately does, and that's one of the reason why you love Mark so much.
"I'm really, really, sorry baby," Mark said once again.
"One more sorry from you and you're ban from my kisses," you taunted.
"Okay, I'll stop," Mark said, even raising both of his hand as a sign of defeat.
You smiled once again, cupping his cheeks and planting a quick kiss on his lips.
"I think we should sleep now," you told him. Thinking that things might go far if you two start another make-out session.
Mark only chuckles as he steals a kiss from you, "yeah we should just sleep."
Your boyfriend gets up from the couch first, and before you could move, Mark swings his arms around your legs and waist, carrying you bridal-style.
"Mark! I can walk you know?" you said to him, punching his shoulder lightly.
"Just practicing," Mark said.
You raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
And before he answers, he kisses you once again. "For our wedding night."
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themaclean · 1 month
Text
We Don't Have To Be Friends (2/2) Characters: Cooper Howard/Lucy MacLean. Summary: 4,244 words, Post Season One -- character study with porn. Warnings: Nothing you wouldn't see in the show. ( Ao3 ) > Part One | Part Two | Part Three <
If Cooper were an honorable man, he wouldn’t have yanked Lucy’s hair like that.
That thought had buried itself deep into the back of his mind as he wound and unwound the stained rag in his hand. He remained on the marked table in the corner of the hotel room, the evening air musty but quiet. Dogmeat had taken to the bathroom when they’d arrived and Lucy…
His brow twitched as he adjusted his shotgun, his thumbnail dug into the etchings on the side.
Fuckin’ Lucy.
His hand flexed at the thought of her soft hair tight in his grip.
If he were half the man he’d been before the bombs fell, he’d never have done it. Never even thought to do it.
But then she’d slung the word ‘family’ around and started making assumptions about his life. Call it gut instinct or benign cruelty, whatever you like, but he needed her to back off. He didn’t have the words to make her back down, as everything became a debate or a conversation like she needed to know every little thing.
Without words, there aren’t many options left.
He yanked her hair to make his point and shoved her away just as quickly. She hadn’t cried or shouted or done much of anything. She just gawked at him like a child who’d never been scolded, and then she shot off to the bathroom.
Lucy hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.
But then the mental math kicked in, of how the world is how it is now, and it’s hard to care much about honor. It’s that back-and-forth of how he could have done much worse and how he’d gone easy on her, really.
He flexed his fingers around the phantom ache in his palm, that whipcrack decision to push into her space. Worse yet, it wasn’t anger or frustration that spurred him on. It was the underlying hunger that held a light hand against the back of his head, pushing him towards the living.
He thought he might bite into her, to savor her, but he hadn’t.
This time, at least.
During his stint as a Hollywood heartthrob, his friends traipsed with whatever starlet they could get their talons into; Cooper loved Barb. Never strayed, never so much as looked at another woman with intent. He’d been the model husband and kept himself trained on Barb.
All for her, everything for her.
He loved her so much he'd been blind to the shit she'd helped make happen within Vault-Tec. That's its own phantom ache, how being a loving husband rippled out to the end of America as he knew it.
But he isn't in the old world. He isn't even married to Barb; he hadn't been since before the bombs dropped. Divorce, alimony, public humiliation, the loss of his status after Vault-Tec caught on that he’d heard too much.
And yet...
After two hundred years, it’s not living anymore; can’t be. You get numb to the tastes and smells of things and nothing is new anymore. There’s no novelty, no experience you haven’t had. Except in how people die, he supposed. But the day-to-day of life for two hundred years became something else a long while ago.
It's pure instinct, doing whatever you think will best serve you in the moment. Everyone you know dies, and you stop attending funerals or even sticking around long enough to see if they leave flowers for the fallen. Not really any flowers anymore, come to think of it.
With enough time, you can forget most people.
Maybe that was what made the empty thoughts so tempting -- the ones that told him to bite down on Lucy's throat and tear her apart. It wasn't like the zombie shit you see in the movies where it's a switch, where you die and come back with a hunger for brains.
That hunger guided him, even now.
“I wanted to apologize.”
Cooper’s jaw ticked to the side, his head twitched to shake out the instinct to growl. “No.” His gaze flicked up from the shotgun to Lucy’s slim silhouette in the cracked bathroom door. 
“You can’t just say no,” Lucy said with a scoff. “Look, I clearly overstepped and upset you. So, I’m sorry if I was prying or pushy. I won’t bring up — that, again.”
Cooper rested his forearms on the edge of the table. The girl had the survival instincts of a goddamn cat curled up in a wheel well in the middle of winter.
“So, I’m sorry. Do you accept my apology?”
“Y’ain’t ever let a thing lie in your life, have you, girl.”
Lucy gave a tight-lipped smile and a slight shrug as if that were a point of pride. “When you’re in a vault, it’s kind of hard to hold a grudge. You have to see people every day and depend on one another, so you — you have to talk it out.”
Cooper’s gaze rolled to the ceiling as he begged for whatever powers above to give him strength. He let the silence sit between them as he clicked his shotgun back into place and ensured a few rounds were ready to go.
He roughly scratched at his neck before he popped his hat back on. His joints clicked and cracked as he got to his feet, the day’s aches setting in. In a few long strides, he set his shotgun on the bedside table.
In all this time, he refused to look at her, even as she implored him with those wide hazel eyes.
“We’ll take shifts,” he said, flat on his back in one heavy thud. He angled his hat over his face, though he could see the door to the room if he tilted his head just right.
“You can’t go to sleep mad.”
Cooper exhaled into the hollow of his hat. “I ain’t mad.”
“You are.” Before Cooper could do much about it, she’d snatched his hat off his face. She stood beside the bed, his hat held hostage as she stared down at him. “I can tell.”
“Yeah, I’m startin’ to get mad; you’re onto something,” Cooper shoved himself onto his elbows, unhappy with her looming over him. He shifted his weight, and his legs snapped out over the edge of the bed. She didn’t have a chance to adjust, now stuck between his knees.
Lucy held his hat high as if he couldn’t stand up and take it back from her. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to have a hostage situation; I just need to know we’re okay.”
“Why’s it so fuckin’ important to you, that we be friends or — or somethin’?”
“Why’s it important..?” Lucy made a raspy noise from the back of her throat as she tried to hold the hat higher. It was pathetic to watch, in all honesty. As if it were something worth bargaining for. “Because it’s about teamwork and caring about each other. And we have to trust each other.”
“Trusting you to keep watch while I sleep is plenty enough to show I trust you,” Cooper said, his tone flat. He wasn’t sure he should trust her now, given how erratic she was being over something as petty as him accepting her apology.
“What if—“ Lucy rolled her lips between her teeth, something painful going on behind her eyes. “What if you decide you don’t need me around and leave me? Then what do I do?”
Cooper caught her hip in the flat of his palm, and his fingers dug into her cotton-clad flesh.
“It happened before, and — and don’t think I forgot how you wouldn’t give me water, and how you sold me for drugs, and — I know there’s going to be a day when we fight and you decide I’m worth more as a bartering chip than as… As someone that you care about.”
“Give me my hat back, darlin’.”
Lucy strained her arm into the air, her gaze fixed down at him. “Just, promise me you aren’t going to hold a grudge and… And that we’re a team, or co-workers, or something.”
Cooper felt his patience hit critical mass as the hand on her hip shifted her weight to pivot her onto the bed. It wasn’t hard to do, to shift his free hand to her throat as he hovered above her.
“Now, darlin’, I hate to say it, but you are bein’ five kinds of hysterical right now.” His grip on her throat wasn’t hard, with most of his weight on his knees and by her hip. His index finger toyed with the hard column of her throat, gentle enough to not hurt her.
Lucy looked strangely relieved by the shift in position. All the prey fear in her eyes had simmered down to something patient and distant. It was like she’d been waiting for him to snap, to turn back into this facet of the man she knew. All the anticipation fizzled out to a stern word and a hand on her throat.
“All I said was,” Cooper adjusted, a deep breath taken for the sake of softness. “Don’t talk about my family. Simple rule.”
Cooper could tell it took everything in her to stay quiet, given how her muscles twitched beneath his calloused fingertips.
And then things shifted around him like he hadn’t been able to see the parts for what they were. They were alone, for one, in a cheap room in a glorified brothel. It’d been weeks since he’d been in anything close to a real bed, albeit moldy and threadbare. Lucy was pressed against him, their knees notched together, one beside the other.
Cooper couldn’t think when he’d last been in this situation. It might’ve been when he still had hair or a nose. The murky haze of shapeless bodies couldn’t compete with the warm-blooded woman with frantic abandonment issues beneath him.
Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it?
Lucy had a damn complex about being abandoned again. Hard to miss a wound that he himself bore. His jaw clicked as he caught the faint smell of soap and sweat on her skin. The cavernous gap where his nose had once been couldn’t pick up much, a small mercy, but it hung in the air between them.
Maybe it was because of a human scent, something about that ghoulish instinct to track down beautiful things and shred them with his teeth.
Lucy didn’t move to push him back, and he didn’t want to move much either. She hadn’t been so quiet since he’d first sent her sprinting to the bathroom out of fear, even though she’d come crawling back with unneeded apologies.
But then he caught it — that redoubled heartbeat as she glared up at him.
Her slim shape beneath him was as fine as any steak. He'd eaten some foul corpses and torn apart bodies to survive. He'd eaten fallen friends and pets. And the longer this went on, the easier it was to commit such acts.
But this hunger wasn't so simple.
"Cooper?" Lucy exhaled, the fine shape of her sternum taut with pale skin and bone.
Cooper trailed his fingers along the bone, dismally aware of how much force it'd taken to pry open her ribs and fish out her organs. Red and gushing and filling — but not worth it. It wasn’t worth it. Cooper’s head twitched to the side as he bit down, that malicious ache for carnage twisted up with the need to bury his cock in her.
“You wanna be something, huh?” His breathing rasped like sandpaper as his fingers slid beneath the faded white button-down.
Lucy gave him a puzzled look but nodded all the same.
His palm lay flat against his tit, in search of her heartbeat. He didn't think about how his scarred skin grazed her nipple or how her rib cage twitched in response. Force of habit drew his thumb back, toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves as a half-smirk kicked the corner of his lips up.
Lucy wouldn't even look at him. Her lips were pursed tight together as she strained her head to the side like she didn't know if she should scream or moan.
It's an unfair trade, as are most in the wasteland if you’re smart.
He's rotten and falling to pieces while she's fresh from a vault. The difference in radiation alone should be enough to make him back off, but he doesn’t care much. And neither does she from how she arched into his hand, despite how angry she looked.
"Sweet thing, your heart's going a mile a minute."
Lucy widened her eyes at him, and her head snapped towards him. “You’re touching me, of course it is.”
"Barely touched you," Cooper said, not sure be cared if it was fear or arousal.
“Sex doesn’t involve this much talking normally.”
“Normally, as per the one time you fucked your husband,” Cooper said as he continued to thumb the soft flesh of her breast. She keened into each movement, not shy or unsure as he’d feared she might be.
“You just like the sound of your own voice,” Lucy said under her breath, her eyes fluttered shut. 
Cooper had to laugh, even though he didn’t much want to. If he’d known how easy it’d be to bridge the gap between traveling companions and this, he might’ve tried something sooner.
“You’re reactive,” he said with a tweak of her nipple.
“That’s so weird and gross,” Lucy stumbled over words, her voice too thin to mean what she was saying.
"You're the one who wants to fuck a monster."
"You aren't a monster."
Cooper smirked, unable to help it. "That's the part you wanna argue?" He had her on his back and at his mercy, but she still wanted to argue for his humanity.
Lucy stayed silent, glaring up at him.
Cooper grabbed her by the hip and, in one firm tug, had her cunt flush against the hard shape of his cock through his jeans. His hand snaked from her hip to the soft spot behind her knee, pushing her leg back to angle her to his liking.
"Can we..." Lucy exhaled, her question lost as his hips canted against her.
“Can we what?” Cooper pressed harder against her, his arm twisted around her thigh so he could crack open his belt. He didn’t bother beyond unfastening it, and his jeans peeled aside enough to free himself. He couldn’t hide the hiss of satisfaction as the sensitive head of his cock met the soft fabric and heat between her legs.
“Can ghouls and…” Lucy’s words continued to stick to the roof of her mouth, her eyes trailing over him in the shadows. It was better this way, in the dark, where she couldn’t make out the rough skin and frayed edges where the radiation had hardened and rotted him.
Again, his end of the bargain was far sweeter than hers. He wasn’t sweating it, of how she might recoil and pale at the sight of his mangled flesh. It wasn’t the same as when he’d been human, but the instinct to resist her certainly faded easier.
Cooper couldn't even recall a time he'd jerked himself off. The drive to bury himself in something warm and soft had faded long ago. 
It was nice to be in a room with a lock, alone, not surrounded by sand and open air. Dogmeat was asleep in the disused bathtub, with a bunch of blankets Lucy had thrown in there for her.
Nothing to interrupt, the kid down the hall -- 
No.
Like lightning, deja vu grabbed him by the throat. His face twitched as he put his mind right. There was no kid, and this wasn't his wife. It was the uppity brat from a vault, the product of every fucked part of the old world.
“Like, are we allowed to fuck?” Cooper asked, incredulous.
“No — I mean, I… For the future of humanity,” Lucy stumbled over her words. “If I got pregnant — ”
“Ain’t gonna happen,” Cooper said in a flat voice. If she was worried about some fucked up little irradiated babies, so far as Cooper knew, it wasn’t possible. 
“Oh, well, okey-dokey.”
“Okey… Jesus,” Cooper snorted.
Cooper caught the sides of her pajama pants and yanked them out of place in one firm tug. He caught her calves and set her legs over one shoulder, a hand on her ankle while the other settled on the bed beside her. From the look on her face, she was curious to see how this worked — whatever they’d been taught in the vault mustn’t go further than missionary.
In an act of pity or chivalry, he slid back, his eyes narrowed up at her. Some fucking gentleman he had to be to give a fuck, even now when she had no idea what she was after. Not really, not beyond the act of repopulating the Wastes. He hitched her thighs over his shoulders, tongue and radiation-thinned lips flush against her wet cunt.
So much wetter than she should be, given they’d done little more than grind for a few moments. He rattled out a growl from low in his throat, unable to really taste her but wishing that he could. Scent and taste were long-dead, but he’d catch moments of it, faintly, and he was buried between her folds now.
His fingers slid along where his tongue teased, and his gaze fixed up at her. She couldn’t stay still, writhing and desperate, and her pajama shirt pried free now. The slight swell of her breasts and the sharp jut of her jawline were all he could make out as he did his best to get revenge on the fucks in room five who couldn’t stop screaming.
Cooper dipped back, tonguing his lips as she twitched and tensed. “Can feel you holding back.”
“It’s — I can’t, it’s too much.”
His hand stilled. “Should I — ”
“No,” Lucy caught his head, her fingers skating over his leathery scalp. “Please don’t stop.”
“Then you stop holding back,” he said, his fingers curled inside her. “Make a mess of it, ain’t our fuckin’ bed.”
Lucy looked horrified, but Cooper didn’t stop. He kept the same pace, his fingers thudding against that spot that made her tense and shove at him. If he pulled back, she’d drag him close again. His name fumbled past her lips here and there, like she was mad at him, and he just worked her harder.
And then her thighs snapped and near cracked his damn head off, her back arched against the bed, and a desperately wet patch formed beneath his chin between them. He couldn’t hide the shit-eating smirk as he rested his cheek against her thigh, a rumbling noise of satisfaction that some things couldn’t leave you.
Cooper didn’t leave her a chance to recover, owing to the heavy throb at every little noise she made. His cock damn near hurt, and there wasn’t much he could do about it.
Well.
It took a moment, but he had her thighs settled around his hips as he kept it simple for her sake. It stopped being about sex or need and became something even more abstract, that hot ache for warmth and to be inside her. She whimpered with that dazed, empty-faced bliss as he caught her behind the knees. His ruined, rough hands had no place near her pristine vault-grown flesh.
And yet he had his ex-wife to thank — much obliged Barb, you fuckin’ snake. It’s a lashing thought he bit back, that constant push between loving the woman and hating what she’d done. But this was simpler, a pretty young thing slick and waiting for whatever he sought to do with her.
All the times he could have done this shit back when the world was whole. But he never would have. Not back then.
Now…
That lead-weight heat in his stomach spurred him on; a few shallows thrusts were all he could manage before he buried himself inside her. It was such a bone-deep satisfaction he couldn't recall why it'd been so long.
But then he was face to face with her, that pretty, doe-eyed shock as she played catch up with him. He caught her cheeks between his finger and thumb, pushing her head back and pouting her lips.
"This what that vault of yours taught you? Lay back and think of America?"
“It was — our duty…” 
“To get fucked?” Cooper couldn’t help but laugh, each long, slow thrust, another scratch to an impossible itch. “Bet your daddy will be real proud when he finds out you fucked a ghoul.”
Lucy mumbled in protest, her fingers digging into his forearm’s patchy flesh. She kept pace with his thrusts, the bruising bite of his fingers on her hips. His other hand remained on her face to keep her looking at him as he bore down.
Their room quickly became guttural noises, his exertion an undercurrent to her yelps and pleading noises. She clawed at his hand, the one that was keeping her honest and facing him. She didn't get to look away and pretend this was some other man fucking her.
Lucy fought against his grip, stuck between glaring and panting. The orgasm she’d squirmed through before and broken to had her dazed and gentle like she was on cloud nine. But the slow increase of pace and pressure had her writhing again like when he’d had his tongue and fingers deep inside her.
Cooper slid his hand lower, his grip fastened to her throat. He gave a few shallow thrusts before he set into a steady rhythm, focused on how damn good he felt. The tighter he pinched the sides of her neck, the tighter she got. That slick flutter of her cunt out of fear and adrenaline, of whether he'd let the blood go back to her head or not...
He really could do any number of terrible things to her, and no one would know. But she came to this seedy hotel room and lazed around and trusted him like the fucking moron she is. And he clung to what thin shred of honor he had to not hurt her beyond what she might enjoy.
It isn’t some big, beautiful moment where they rode out a climax together — it’s far messier, the juts of his hips all the warning he got as he cracked his hips closer to hers. And then there was that tug low in his stomach, the jitters in his pelvis so desperate he couldn’t catch it.
Cooper tucked his head against her neck, his teeth buried into her shoulder as he came. His fingers dug deep into the mattress, a heinous growl between gnashing teeth. They’d stopped the banter long ago, probably due to his comment about her dad — he didn’t care much. He appreciated the silence.
But she was breathing, long and soft, and his teeth were still buried in her shoulder. He couldn’t breathe as easily, a rasping, rolling sound from low in his throat. He swallowed a few times and coughed out of habit.
“You need your meds,” Lucy said, her voice drifting and gentle.
For a moment, he wanted to let go all the way. But he left it at the deep bruise on her shoulder, that crescent of teeth swelling from the pressure. He thumbed the mark and drew back, dressed enough that he was able to tuck himself away in a moment, ready to run or fight if needed.
Lucy…
Cooper coughed into the crushed shape of his fist, her body marked with his grip on her hip, her leg, and her throat. He didn’t feel anything at that, no pride, no guilt. He couldn’t even muster that satisfaction of seeing a naked woman.
Lucy’s hand dipped between her thighs, her fingers tested against herself. He’d come inside her and hadn’t really thought to pull out or ask. Another cough caught him off-guard; his mind shifted to the RadAway in his pack.
“It’s a shame,” Lucy said, a distance in her gaze. “That you couldn’t get me pregnant, even if you wanted to. I feel like you’d be a good dad.”
Cooper had no idea what to say to that.
“I’ll take the first watch,” Lucy said as she moved to get dressed. She didn’t meet his eye but didn’t seem angry.
Cooper strode over to her, his hand on her cheek and his thumb on her bottom lip. He met her eye for a long moment. He bent down to place a kiss as gently as he could manage on her forehead, the cavity of his nose bumping against the top of her head.
Lucy bounced up to peck him on the lips, so chaste you wouldn’t believe he’d just fucked her into the mattress. She smiled that same empty-eyed Hollywood smile. She touched his cheek, her thumb brushed against the hollow of his cheek and over his hairless brow.
“You aren’t mad at me anymore, right?”
“No,” Cooper said, unwilling to get back into it.
“Good.”
There isn’t any room to cuddle, not that he’d want to. Not that she would want to, either. He can’t quite make out what happened between them. But it seemed like it’d put Lucy’s mind at ease, that he wouldn’t turn on his heel and leave. Maybe this was the ‘something’ she needed from him.
Just something that they shared, something deeper than a shared destination.
Just, something.
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daosies · 5 months
Text
"i like you!"
confessions are always difficult, especially when it's to the love of their life (you).
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okkotsu yuta, nanami kento ♡ gn!reader
warnings: gojo satoru (real), swearing (nanami's part), lovesick nanami & yuta
note: rewriting jjk one scenario at a time 😁 this is OUR jujutsu kaisen now
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yuta has fought many battles in his life. special grade curses? whatever. curse user geto suguru? easy.
but this? this might be the most difficult battle of them all: confessing to you.
yuta doesn't quite know how to do it, and it doesn't help that his second-year friends have zero experience with love. if anything, yuta's supposed to be the most knowledgeable about how to confess—but it's different being in love with someone who he hasn't known since childhood.
it's different. a nice kind of different.
"just confess," maki states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"salmon," toge chimes in.
"yeah," panda says while shrugging. "it doesn't sound that hard."
"sound," yuta reiterates. "a lot of things don't sound hard."
maki rolls her eyes. "you're thinking way too deep into it. just go up to them and tell them you like them! it's as easy as that!"
yuta can only offer a half-hearted nod before glancing away, his gaze fixated on the vastness of the sky. there's a peculiar ache in his heart—the kind of ache that comes with the mere mention of your name—that devours his being, his index and middle finger coming up to feel the rampaging thump-thump, thump-thump in his chest.
love, he affirms, feeling the flutter of butterflies in his stomach and the way his heart stutters at the concept. love. yuta's familiar with love; how could he not be?
love is everywhere. it's in the confines of his ribs, the way the sun promises to return each day. love is stored in the ring on his finger, in the dandelions that he wishes on.
love is in you. nothing more, nothing less.
"tuna tuna," toge says, poking at yuta's shoulder. with a not-so light shove, toge pushes yuta in the direction of the door, feigning ignorance to the way you just so happened to walk in at the same time.
yuta manages to stop right in front of you, his eyes wide while his mouth hangs slightly agape.
nobody says a word. maki glances away, already embarrassed for yuta. panda begins to whistle, discreetly peeking over the pages of his upside-down book as he tries to catch a glimpse of you and yuta. toge, the perpetrator, merely shrugs, as if this situation had been set up by mere fate.
"hey, yuta," you say nonchalantly. yuta feels a lump form in his throat as his heart stutters, constricting within his chest.
"h-hey!" he fiddles nervously with the stray strands of hair lingering atop his forehead, suddenly feeling subconscious. it's been a while since he returned to japan; he wonders if you'll like his new hairstyle.
suddenly, he falls into a pit of doom and misery. what if you liked him before, but with his new hair, you think he's ugly?
"nice hair," you comment, as if reading his mind. yuta lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, the smile on his face widening (because at the mere sight of you, yuta can't help but smile; you make him feel alive, giddy, free.)
"thanks," he mutters shyly. he hears one of his classmates—maki—clearing her throat, as if to force yuta to hurry up and confess to you already.
it's not so simple! yuta thinks, trying his best not to stare at you. he sees you shift uneasily, feeling the tense atmosphere of the room. he sees your eyebrows furrow slightly, your lips coming to form a pout as you fall into deep thought, as if trying to figure out what's going on. again, yuta's smile widens. he thinks you're perfect.
"did i interrupt something?" you suddenly ask, glancing around the room. your classmates fervently shake their heads, sending subtle death glares and threats towards yuta, who's practically shaking. yuta swears he's become braver after his first year, but the way you look at him—oh, the way you exist—reduces him to a coward. a fool, even.
"no, of course not!" panda jolts up, dropping the book he wasn't even reading. "actually, i need to go!"
maki chimes in, "same. i have some training to do."
"salmon."
as if it were choreographed, everyone leaves the room in one unit. everyone but you and yuta.
he feels something bubbling in his stomach. and something pounding against his ribs. and something forming in his throat, restricting his voice. yuta feels a lot of physical ailments when he's with you; he thinks it's lovesickness.
"do you have anywhere you need to go, yuta?" you ask, almost offended by everyone else's departure.
"no, of course not!" he yelps, flailing his hands around as if to reassure you. you merely laugh, your smile reaching your eyes as they crinkle a little, stars forming in your irises.
yuta stares at you with wide, enamored eyes. yuta stares at you as if that was what he was made to do, as if he was gifted with eyes just to cradle you in its grasp.
(they were, he thinks. they were made for you. what else would his eyes behold, if not you?)
"that's good," you say, grinning at him with that smile of yours.
(it's just a regular smile, but to yuta, it's the world).
he swallows thickly before opening his mouth to speak. confess! he thinks, his voice struggling to work. in the edge of his vision, he can see the tip of panda's ears and the top of both maki and toge's heads. he tries his best to ignore them, but the fact that they're watching makes it worse.
because yuta knows they're going to whoop him if he doesn't tell you.
"[name]," yuta finally musters out, his voice barely above a whisper. he has a habit of saying your name quietly, as if he doesn't want to sully the sound. as if it's the most beautiful thing in the world (it is. to yuta, it most definitely is.)
"actually, i've been meaning to tell you this, but..."
you tilt your head, and yuta's voice dies in his throat. his breath hitches, and his knees nearly buckle.
oh, is all he thinks. oh.
suddenly, he sees a blade sticking out from the window of the classroom. instantly, he recognizes it as maki's.
"i like you!" he barely manages.
the blade disappears, and yuta shrinks, staring at you with a hopeful, desperate expression. you merely glance around, as if unsure if his confession was directed towards you.
after confirming that yuta was actually talking to you, you give him that wonderful, lovely smile of yours. yuta relishes in your gaze, his heart pounding against his ribs as you say, "i like you, too."
"woohoo!" someone yells from the other side of the wall. you and yuta exchange mortified glances as the muffled sounds of someone (or some creature) getting pummeled ensues.
"idiot, don't blow our cover!"
"salmon!"
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to kento, confessing is easy—if he's able to tell you in private, that is. it would be easy if not for a certain ass named gojo satoru insisting on being there.
"nanamin," gojo whines, "you gotta let me see! i want to see you confess to them!"
"no."
"i'll tell them, then!"
kento glares at gojo with the might of a thousand suns and a thousand "fuck-yous." in this world, there are two things kento hates most: overtime, and gojo satoru.
"kento?" someone calls, and immediately, kento turns around. the furrow of his brows ease, the frown on his lips beginning to dissipate in exchange for a smile as kento hums in response, his expression overwhelmed with adoration.
"yes?" his voice is so unmistakably soft, gojo nearly gets whiplash from how stark the difference is. oh, gojo thinks, immediately, a grin on his face. he's in love. so much love.
a good friend would say nothing and let kento be, but gojo is not a good friend. gojo is gojo.
"hmm, nanamin? why do you look so happy with them instead of me?"
kento rolls his eyes. "because you're you."
you laugh, and kento thinks it's all worth it. all the overtime, the time spent with gojo satoru, the time spent as a jujutsu sorcerer, is worth it. kento thinks you're worth it, and in this world, there are two things he wants most: you, and a life in malaysia.
you, of course, come first. always.
"you should be nicer to satoru, kento," you say, trying your best to suppress your laughs. the corner of kento's lips curl as you regard him with a tender look, his heart stuttering in his chest at the sight. kento is a grown man with grown man responsibilities, but simple eye contact with you is enough to get his heart racing and his knees feeling weak. maybe it's old age. maybe it's you.
(it's probably you. kento likes to think he isn't that old.)
and then his mood sours a little because you did not just call that ass (read: gojo satoru) by his first name.
he doesn't even deserve to be perceived by you, kento thinks. what a waste of space.
gojo whistles, agreeing fervently with your words. "yeah, tell 'em, [name]!"
kento's mood sours even further. now he's calling you by your first name? absurd.
nanami kento is a grown man with grown man responsibilities, but with you, he's reduced to nothing but a lover. your lover.
(he ignores the fact that he's not even your lover. he's just a lover. a lover that so happens to love you.)
"anyway,"—you dismiss gojo with such nonchalance, kento thinks he's fallen in love with you all over again—"wanna get dinner tonight, kento?"
he nods, the ends of his lips curling up into a gentle, adoring smile. "of course. anywhere you want."
gojo stands, in stunned silence, as you and kento leave merrily, not a single doubt in the world. frankly, he's a bit upset. how is he going to witness kento's declaration of pure and unadulterated love, if you're leaving him behind in the dust?
oh, society! gojo thinks, falling to the ground. kento, who hears the thump! from the other side of the door, could not care less. he continues walking with you, enamored by the most mundane of things.
kento is in love. so, so much love. he loves you, all of you, any of you. he loves such simple little things that make him wonder how is it possible to love such a quirk? how is it possible to love the mere sight of your smile, the mere tap of your finger? how is it possible to love such a simple little action, a simple little trait?
(it's possible because it's you.)
kento is in love. so, so much love. it's because of his love that confessing is easy. after all, feelings come easy to him, and all he has to do is articulate them.
why mull over the details when all he has to do is tell you how he feels? nanami kento is a simple man who likes simple things. a simple man who, when given the opportunity to, will tell you his feelings in an oh-so simple, oh-so kento way.
"[name],"—it's sudden, direct, and fast—"i have feelings for you."
with you, kento will go to malaysia. with you, kento will assimilate fully into civilian life, relishing in the simplicity of waking up every morning, of cooking together, of loving together. with you, kento will love and love, loving until the end of time, loving on and on, as he always has.
with you, kento will live. to the fullest. as he should've, and will always do.
to kento, confessing is easy.
it's easy because it's you.
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787 notes · View notes
declareqenius · 2 months
Text
all the ashes in my wake
summary: part two of "some would sing and some would scream". wanda and natasha have several heated conversations while they wait for you to wake up. it's been days and both of them miss hearing your voice, and they know the last thing you would want to see is them fighting, but wanda can't help tearing into natasha for everything that happened. natasha's guilt eats away at her.
warnings: mentions of the violence in pt 1, coma
a/n: guys i really just wanted to get this one out. i haven't read through it/edited it so any mistakes are... well, mistakes. but hey! we get wanda in this one! i feel like i could have gone a little darker as far as wandanat are concerned, but we do what we can! i hope you enjoy!
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The infirmary room is cold and sterile and a heaviness settles over the exhausted woman. Wanda keeps hold of your hand as if letting it go means that you'll slip away for good. She's careful of the IV stuck in the back of your hand giving you fluids. In a way, it serves as a reminder that blood still flows through your veins and your heart still beats, and that even though your bright smile and musical laugh don't fill the room, you're still alive.
Wanda brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. She doesn't know how many times she has done that in the past three days, but the gesture comforts her. Tucking your hair behind your ear so she can see your beautiful face better and looking into your sparkling eyes is one of her favorite things to do. Your gaze holds so much love and adoration and it always makes her wish she would never have to live without it.
Your eyes are closed now.
Wanda hates every second of it.
Bruce said that even if you don't respond that you can still hear everything. Wanda trusts that he's telling the truth and it wasn't something he said just to make her feel better.
So she talks to you. About anything and everything she can think of. Your favorite TV show that is on the air right now or the book that you recommended and she finally read. How much she loves you and how she can't wait for you to wake up. How sorry she is that she wasn't there sooner. She makes promises that she intends to uphold. Ones about revenge and torture and everything you would hate and tell her not to worry about were you conscious. Wanda smiles at the thought. She won't listen, though. The Celestials hurt her family. Hurt the love of her life. She can't let that go unanswered for.
Right now, though, you are her priority.
The door handle clicks and Wanda doesn't need to look up. She knows it's Natasha coming back from telling Steve and Yelena what happened. Can feel the exhaustion and guilt dripping from her without having to so much as glance in her direction.
"Wands-"
"I don't want to talk to you right now, Natalia. Sit."
Wanda nods to the unoccupied chair on the other side of the bed without taking her eyes off of you. She's being harsh and she knows it. Natasha was there with you. Right by your side. Made to watch as the leader of their enemies hurt you in the most sloppily calculated way. She was powerless against Najma and Wanda knows this, but all rationality left her when she burst into the cell and laid eyes on your bleeding body, slumped over, barely an ounce of life in you, and her anger nearly consumed her.
She almost leveled the entire block.
The only thing that stopped her was Natasha, carrying you in her arms, reminding her that time was scarce.
So yes, perhaps she is being too harsh with her wife, but somehow you had become their entire lives. Their reason for being. Neither of them would know what to do without you, and they came very close to losing you under Natasha's watch.
They will be okay eventually. They survived many fights and many arguments before you came along.
Tears form in Wanda's eyes.
"Yelena is wondering when she'll be able to see Y/N." Natasha's voice breaks the silence. It's rough and scratchy.
"After she wakes up."
Four words and Wanda can feel how they form on her tongue. Her Sokovian accent is thick with her anger and distress despite the words being spoken soft and firm.
"Wanda," Natasha starts to protest but the finality in her wife's tone makes her go quite.
"Nat."
It's then that Wanda decides to look up at Natasha. Decides to let her wife see her and every emotion that makes its way onto her face and every thought that swirls around in her mind.
Natasha pauses for a moment, taken aback by everything she sees her wife going through. The made-up scenarios. The what-ifs. She knows because she went through every last one of them when she was in that cell with you. To see the same thoughts cluttering Wanda's mind, well, it only makes her guilt worse.
She clears her throat, "Yelena is her best friend."
It comes out as more of a fact than an argument.
At that, Wanda turns her attention back to you, "I don't want anyone except for us and Bruce to see her like this. They don't need to."
"They want to know that she's okay, Wands."
"Tell them that she is. That she will be. That's all they need to know for right now. They need to focus on getting the jump on Najma and the Celestials. Our focus is Y/N. I think our family is capable enough to come up with a plan by themselves, don't you?"
Wanda's calmness is starting to make Natasha uncomfortable and she shifts in her chair. She refuses to touch you, though, afraid of what might happen if she did. Would your body crumble under her fingertips? If you were conscious would your body recoil at her touch? For letting you get hurt. For not protecting you like she should have.
Suddenly streams of tears silently make their way down Natasha's cheeks.
"I'm sorry I let this happen."
Wanda's eyes meet hers again and Natasha feels like she can breathe a little easier. It isn't perfect and she guesses it won't be perfect for a long time, but time will help. The fear will linger within both of them because Natasha knows Wanda almost as well as she knows herself, and she knows that neither of them will be letting you out of their sight for a while after you wake up. Until Najma is taken care of, at least.
Wanda tilts her head as she tries to get a better read on Natasha without using her powers. Even if they would help in the moment she has rules for herself: never on Natasha and never on you.
"They caught you off guard. It is a hard position to be in, radnaja."
Darling. The pet name helps Natasha relax a little more, but her hands stay folded in her lap.
"We needed- I needed to protect her better. We promised to keep her safe and I couldn't do that, Wands. I failed her and I disappointed you and... and what if she decides to leave when she wakes up? I would be the reason we came so close to losing her... and then to actually lose her? I don't know if we could survive it."
"Nat... Y/N loves us with everything she is. Just as we love her. I need you to be confident in that."
Natasha wants to scoff but instead she fidgets with her hands, "Confident? In what, Wanda? That she'll wake up and we'll pretend everything is fine and that we're not the reason she almost fucking died?! That the two people she loves most in the world couldn't protect her like they promised they would? I was powerless Wanda! I couldn't stop them! I-" Natasha's tears flow freely and although the tension in the room is building, she feels safe enough to let herself go in the presence of her wife, "I couldn't save her!"
"Natalia Romanova-Maximoff!" Wanda stands for the first time in hours but she does not drop your hand. It's the only thing grounding her right now. "This is not entirely your fault, radnaja. Maybe if you would have kicked and punched more when they took you then we would be in a different position. Maybe if you had given Najma the answers she was looking for then Y/N wouldn't have been injured as badly as she is but these are all what-ifs, Natasha! What if I had been there with her instead? What if I had been with both of you that night? What if I would have gotten to you sooner? What if she had died!"
Finally, the question that has been on both of their minds since Bruce had walked into the meeting room with your blood all over his neatly ironed button up and jeans- he didn't have time to even think about putting his lab coat on- and told them that you would eventually be okay.
"I have been asking myself that question every day for the past three days," Wanda finishes, salt on her tongue, nose red, and her scarlet hoodie stained with tears.
Natasha cannot find it within herself to tell her wife the new information Bruce gave her in the meeting. While he operated and stitched until he could barely stand any longer; you flatlined once. Your heart decided to give up for a minute and Natasha hasn't had the proper amount of time to process something like that, but the time would never come for Wanda to be able to process the reality of such a thing.
Both women stare down at you with puffy eyes and red noses. You are the most precious thing in the world to them. They hate seeing you so lifeless, and the only wave of hope keeping them afloat is your steady breaths.
The fight has left both of them, but an air of tension remains. They are nowhere near finished with their conversation. With taking their frustrations out. Hopefully they'll have everything figured out before you wake up. Natasha knows how much you hate playing peacemaker when they actually have fights and really get going at each other, but she also knows that her wife can hold a grudge.
She doesn't think Wanda will actually hold a grudge after you wake up, but for now her anger and grief towards Natasha are the only things emotionally anchoring her to reality.
"I miss her, Wands," Natasha sniffs and wipes the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.
"Me too, Natalia. Me too."
They sit in silence for a minute, taking everything in. There are no windows in the room and during the day that means zero sunlight. You always say that time in the sun is one of the most important parts of your daily routine, and it always helps you cool down when you're stressed out or in a bad mood.
Natasha is the first to break the silence, speaking directly to you.
"You are going to hate this room so much when you wake up, detka," she muses with the smallest smile.
Wanda only glances at her before turning her attention back to you and sitting down in her chair, trapped in her mind just as Natasha is, but not all hope is lost and for that, the older woman is grateful.
"Believe it or not, she was the calm one. During everything."
"Natasha."
Her name is said softly although there is still a warning behind it, but she needs this and she believes that Wanda does too. Even if she doesn't know it yet.
"Please, Wanda."
Wanda just sighs and nods, never taking her eyes off of you.
"Najma had me struggling within ten minutes. Begged her to take me instead and to let Y/N go. I don't know why I thought it would work, but I think I just wanted Y/N to know that even if I couldn't get us out of there in that moment... I was trying. I would keep trying."
Natasha's voice is still scratchy as her exhaustion slowly catches up with her.
"Y/N was so firm with me. She said not to tell Najma anything and she meant it. I don't think I've ever heard her be that direct before, but she left no room for argument. She knew what the information would do to the family because she... she sees us as her family, Wands." The redhead sniffs and wipes at her eyes when her tears return, making a prominent trail down her cheeks.
"We are all she has left and she means the world to us! And... and I let her down so much. So, so much, Wanda. She stayed so calm! She did so good! She talked to Najma. She had a conversation with the woman who had a knife to her cheek!" Natasha's laugh is reserved, but her features are shock-ridden and amazed, bordering on flabbergasted and anxiety-filled.
Wanda finally looks up at her wife. Natasha is starting to spiral and there is no way to stop it other than just letting her get it all out, so the Sokovian keeps listening to and watching her wife. The recount of events is told with animated hand gestures and tears gliding down Natasha's cheeks, and Wanda's heart clenches.
"We were doing so well. She was doing so well. Then, Najma stabbed her and my heart dropped. I thought it was over. I thought we had lost her for good." The hand gestures come to an abrupt halt and the tension in the room is once again palpable, but not so much as before.
Natasha looks down at you with pleading eyes, "Please forgive me, malyshka," she drops to both knees and finally takes your hand in hers and whispers, "please."
She kisses the back of your hand delicately and you can feel each tear drop as they land in the exact spot she kissed. There is no need to wonder why your girlfriend is crying. You remember everything.
Your eyes slowly blink open to see Natasha's own eyes closed and Wanda staring at her wife with a thoughtful expression. The love they have for each other makes you want to smile, but the urge to reassure your sobbing mob boss girlfriend wins.
"I..." talking hurts but you need to say the words. Natasha needs to know! "Forgive... you. Always... Natty."
334 notes · View notes
luneshallshine · 1 year
Text
✂ txt as kinks (m)
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ღ a/n: another attempt at smut... i hope this turns out better..!
click here for the ateez version :)
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minors n ageless blogs do not interact please! afab!reader (use of female terms)
ღ yeonjun, soft dom
♫ playing now : the best i ever had by limi
corruption kink
he's definitely not a virgin
man carries himself too hard to be a virgin-
he will RELISH in the chance to corrupt his partner
be their first and be the only one to fuck their cunt
will treat you so sweetly!
it will be a different type of feeling for yeonjun, like he's never liked fucking someone so much
until you <3
will teach you everything he knows and help you be more confident
wants to be your one and only
"my sweet angel, my darling, i'll make this feel so good, you will want more.."
sensory deprivation (giving and receiving)
PLEASE
i was staring at my screen and then i thought of him with a blindfold
will love figuring out your sensitive parts
teasing you
and overstimming you while you can't see him
will kiss you a lot when he covers your eyes
a LOT of dirty talk
prepare to be teased for a long time..
"if only you could see how hard i am for you, here, let me rub against you.. feel it now?"
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ღ soobin, switch (leaning sub)
♫ playing now : babygirl by maeta
free use (receiving)
now, this has be when he FULLY trusts you
he is desperate to please and will offer this to you when he feels safe
has to establish a safe word
once you guys are settled
he will allow you to do anything
want to fuck him while one of his members is asleep in the same room?
want to fuck him when he is on call with yeonjun?
want to fuck him when he is getting ready to go on stage?
he will not say no
"right here baby...? okay let me lock the door.."
nipple play/breast worship (giving)
a total tits guy..
i am not going to lie on this site
he will toy with your breasts for as long as you'll let him
he will kiss them and shower them with love
might give them more attention than your cunt-
he just loves them
doesn't care about size
just wants to kiss them and wants his hands on them
will love watching your chest as you two make love
"so pretty, it's always like your breasts ask for my touch.."
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ღ beomgyu, switch (leaning dom, bratty sub)
♫ playing now : alone with you by ashlee
taking pictures
will whip out his dick his polaroid camera and spend a lot of money making sure he always has film
loves taking photos of you on your knees
his dick in your mouth
will keep it in his wallet
would put in his phone case but too many people might see it
and only he should be able to look at you like that
"pose for me darling, my dick looks so nice in your mouth, say cheese.."
pain kink (hair pulling) (receiving)
i'm not over emo beomgyu
no moa is
he loves you pulling on his hair as he eats you out
it makes me know that you like what he's doing
will groan and whimper
leans into your touch
wants you to be rough when he's feeling subby
"mmh? does it feel that good angel? tug it more, i like it."
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ღ taehyun, soft dom
♫ playing now : red lights by stray kids
strength kink
he doesn't work out for nothing !!
he's been wilding more lately and his muscles are getting ridiculous
he would want to manhandle you, prove me wrong (you can't)
wall sex...
SOFT wall sex
yes
<3
"hm? no you're not heavy at all, don't worry angel."
marking (receiving and giving)
idk why but i feel like tyun is a possessive typa guy
not in the way that he wants to mark you
but that he wants to be marked up
would show it off nonchalantly
like at the gym
omg..
would go workout with you and take off his shirt to show off all the marks you left
so no one will bother you both
omg !!
"yeah, i know they're staring. you did such a good job last night angel."
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ღ huening kai, switch (leaning sub..)
♫ playing now : heaven by taemin
praise kink (recieving and giving)
this sweetie :(
he wants to know that you like what he's doing !!
will praise you just as much but he loves loves loves getting it too !!
after every major action he does, he'll look at you
silently asking for reassurance
will ask you afterwards if everything was ok
be honest with him
when you praise him, he gets a warm feeling in his tummy
will do everything to get your approval
"is this okay..? it is? great, i'll do a little more then.."
joi (jack-off-instructions) (receiving)
do
not
ask
i just got this vibe
ok im fully on this sub!hyuka train
like i have said
he's eager for validation and praise
so he'd listen to you order him around
bonus if you're out of reach
just imagine him listening to you so well that he doesn't even realize he came a minute ago
"like this? o-okay.. yeah it feels really good, more.. i wanna do more.."
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i'm getting better at this 18+ stuff, let's gooo !
ღ lune
2K notes · View notes
syoddeye · 2 months
Text
siphon, part four
john price x f!reader part one | two | three | four ~2.3k words cw: kidnapping, implied stalking, dubcon/noncon oral, blood, violence, gore, death
An opportunity arises more than a month into your 'stay'.
"I'm takin' off for a few hours," John announces.
The dishes in the sink rattle beneath the dropped scrub brush. You tuck your chin to your shoulder and glance back. "Oh?"
He stands in the mouth of the hall in a jacket, thumbing through a keyring. "Got an errand."
The question forms instantly, but you hold it back for fear of appearing too eager. Returning to the dishes, you finish rinsing a plate and set it on the drying rack. Behind you, you listen to him putter between the den and the kitchen.
"I assume I'm staying here?"
John hasn't left you alone since you woke up in the backseat of his truck, head splitting. Since then, you've studied the cabin, inside and out. Wherever you are, the location is remote, thickly wooded, and mountainous. A minimum of an hour outside of the city. It's clear he took great pains to ensure you remain indoors. Although he's yet to employ the many security measures beyond the locks on doors and windows, you've observed an alarm panel. You've seen the gun. Then there is his favorite method of control - his sheer physicality. John's built, solid, and efficient. From the books on history, war, politics, and self-sufficiency, your working theory is he's former military. There is no need for a leash when he can outrun you.
He doesn't answer.
You turn to face him, untying the ridiculously frilly apron you might've thought was cute if a boyfriend had given it to you—not your kidnapper. Captivity has a way of killing romance.
His eyes fixate on your hands loosening the garment, and you watch as he selects two keys from the ring by feeling alone. The keys are simple brass, two different sizes. He plays with them idly, evidently lost in some sick domestic fantasy. You stare at them a moment longer – oh. You know where the keys go.
With his preternatural instincts, John returns to earth, raking his eyes from your form as you hang the apron. You cannot stem the burgeoning panic mounting in your chest.
"Sweetheart–"
"No." 
As if you have a say.
John considers you, his gaze light and careful when he glances at the kitchen around you, but it settles heavily upon your person. He cracks his neck and pushes the key ring back into his pocket.
"Care to repeat yourself?" He echoes.
You inch to the right. Steps away, a pair of kitchen shears sits. Tonguing your lip, you reach for a reason—any reason—to let him hear reason. "I'll be good. Cuff me to the couch, lock me in the bathroom…Please. Don't put me back in there."
He tracks your movement. He tracks everything. "Not how it works, 'm afraid. C'mere."
This isn't how it is supposed to go. Maybe fucking John didn't grant you the access you thought it would, but it is supposed to make him believe you housebroken. Amicable to whatever plans he has for you, which, you know, he has. He's ruining your plans. Ruining everything.
"Please, I'll-"
"This is not a negotiation. Now come here." He beckons.
A petulant anger flares in your belly. Asking John into your body every night is supposed to mean something. If he puts you back in the kennel, it's all been for naught. He acts as if it's beyond his control, that he didn't contrive the entirety of this nightmare. It shatters something inside of you.
With the force you pull the shears out, the utensil holder cracks on the counter. John curses, closing the distance in three giant steps, and you fight a losing battle. He wrenches them out of your hand, tosses them, and drags you by the hair. You kick and slap with your free hand, but with a cruel rip of his hand, you feel hair come away.
He hauls you down the short corridor. Your breaths come in quick gasps as panic claws its way up your throat. You bark and fight like a stray dog on the business end of a catch-all. It's fruitless.
"Fuck you!"
"Later."
John fishes the keys out, unlocks the room, throws you into it, and slams the door behind him. You bolt into the corner. He ignores you while he opens the cage.
"Now," He points a finger at the entrance. 
It isn't fair.
"I'm going to kill you." You blurt out.
John looks unimpressed, sighing. He advances slowly. There is no gentleness in his posture.
"Fuck you." You repeat in a hiss, tensing for the fight you know you'll lose.
His frustration laces with undisguised lust. "Say 'fuck you' again. It sounds like an invitation."
It's inexorable – he violently collects you as if for a dance in the kitchen. You glare through the bars, and he closes the padlock. You both breathe heavier. His hand lingers on the door, and you see the faint imprint of your teeth on the webbing.
"Let's see how much fight you've got left when I come back, hm?"
You lunge for his hand, eager for another bite.
He draws back in time, and his laughter cracks like a whip. "I love you, sweetheart. Nothing you do will change that." He brushes himself off and admires your sulking. "And I've got all the time in the world to change your mind. You'll love me.”
The cabin falls into silence with his departure. You hold yourself tight and take deep breaths. You need to focus. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You could've rolled over and let him lock you up for a couple of hours. But no, you flipped the chessboard like a fucking idiot.
A dripping noise coaxes your eyes to the water bottle. There's a crack in the plastic between the nozzle and the body. Probably broke when he threw you in here. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, reaching for the comfort of sleep. The REM cycle evades you most nights, what with the monster snoring in your ear over your shoulder.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Water erodes even the most solid foundations, and you haven't had the luxury of stability in weeks. You grab the dispenser with both hands and pry it from its fastenings. It hurts your hands and takes more energy than you'd like, but it comes loose, and the plastic zip ties snap. Cursing the damned thing out, you hurl it awkwardly through the cage. It doesn't travel far. Doesn't feel as triumphant as you'd've hoped. A stream of water pools from its belly as it bleeds out on its side.
A despairing voice wishes it were you.
~~
Your mouth is dry when he fetches you.
"I'm sorry."
John's grip is ironclad. His face pinches in mild confusion as he helps you from the kennel before a smug smile replaces it.
"What for?"
"Being difficult," You murmur, stretching your legs. "Breaking the water bottle"
"You're a fuckin' brat," He corrects, pointing to the plastic and metal and slurs into your temple. He reeks of whiskey. "Pick it up. Then do the dishes."
You follow him out into the kitchen and suppress a groan. Your stomach grumbles, smelling the late dinner he cooked for himself when he returned and before he let you out. Beside the sink, your destination sits a tin of tuna singled out from the others. You open and eat the bland fish before he changes his mind. You fill the sink with warm water and soap and start in on the chore. 
John sits in the living room, well within view, smoking a cigar. The stink carries in your direction, cutting through the sterile scent of the dish soap.
For a few minutes, the silence sits like a third person in the room, occasionally interrupted by the clinking of a dish and the dipping of the brush in the water.
"I'm in a better mood," He starts out of nowhere.
You strain to listen, gauging whether it's a conversation or a soliloquy, and then dunk the cracked bottle, massaging the pliable material and working it under the suds.
"I grabbed a pint and told some folks about my woman troubles," he snorts, laughing at his own joke. I got some good advice."
The image of John holding court at some smoky bar comes uninvited. What lies did he tell his fellow patrons? That his 'girlfriend' threw a fit and stepped out of line?
Beneath the water, the plastic cracks within your tight grip. Your arm jerks, sloshing a smattering of bubbles onto the counter. You swiftly clean up after yourself and move on to drying.
"Leave 'em in the rack." John orders, rising from the armchair in the dark of the living room, leaving his cigar to burn out on the ashtray.
You fumble in surprise at his steps. Should be used to it by now. You hurry with the dish towel. "John, there's only–"
"Now."
His tone brooks no argument, not that you were in a position to dare. Swallowing thick, you abandon the chore half-complete and slink into his arms. John bullies you down the hall, grabbing handfuls of your ass. "Told me to be nice to you, eat your cunt a bit." He sighs into your hair, nudging the bedroom door open with a foot.
You don't fight him or gravity and fall back on the mattress.
John looms, eyeing you like a second dinner. Leaves the light on to see every gruesome detail. He makes short work of your jeans and rubs your calves appreciatively before discarding your underwear.
"So I'm giving you a freebie, just this once. I upset you," he explains and kisses your thighs. “You thought you were ready, but have you ever heard of the three-three-three rule, darling?"
"N-No," You stammer when he pinches for an answer.
"Three days, three weeks, three months. The three most important dates when bringing a dog into a home. Though, by my estimates, it's been working just as well for you."
John chuckles before delving into your heart. The lurch in your belly barely beats out nausea.
Three months. You'd rather die. 
The sharp jab in your chest demands freedom.
You let him lose himself. It's easy. He's eaten you out for hours before. You carefully disguise your movements as enthusiasm. You shove your shirt up and over your bra, fondling yourself, discreetly withdrawing the nozzle you broke off of the water bottle in the sink.
Dread and anticipation mix, making you tremble and quake. John, of course, thinks it's all him. It is, in a way. You prop yourself up on your elbows, meeting his eyes briefly when he opens them to take in the parting of your lips.
"John, please," You beg, threading one hand through his short hair.
His eyes shut in focus, humming gleefully, and he doesn't see you coming on either front.
Swinging with everything left, you stab the sharp, concave end of the nozzle into his neck. It sinks in like his windpipe wants it. You both jerk, you with relief and him with a pained, wet scream. It's messy. Blood blooms around his fingers where he clutches the metal. You drag your jellied legs across the bed as he stands, stumbling forward to grab you with a desperate and angry hand.
At his peak, you cannot outrun him. Bleeding profusely from the neck? Tips the scales. You book it to the door and the hall, and he comes crashing after you. Adrenaline and pure fucking fear hurl you down to the kitchen. You skid to a halt on the linoleum and lunge for the drawers from which you've seen him draw knives.
John's steps are haphazard and clumsy, but the full weight of his body is behind each one. He thunders down the hall, slurring, trying to push out words. It all comes out in bellows. A dying animal. Seeing you grab a cook's knife, he stumbles, pausing at the threshold of the corridor. Locking eyes, he reaches for the metal tube stuck in his throat instead. He gurgles something that roughly sounds like you bitch.
"I wouldn't do that." You half-heartedly warn, brandishing the knife.
He wrenches it out anyway, hand slapping to the hole immediately after, but there's too much blood. It's too slick. Red sprays. More than you thought.
John makes it one step before he slowly slumps to the ground, and you stalk closer, giving a wide berth with the blade in hand. He sags back to the wall, feebly pressing thick fingers against the gaping wound in his neck. It's useless. You know it. He knows it.
You crouch, naked from the waist down. Even now, he ogles, the shitstain.
"Do you need help, John?"
His eyes narrow, struggling to focus. The blue looks flatter. Vacant.
A genuine smile splits your face.
"Why don't you just ask?"
~~
The truck dies just off the forestry road. Of course. At least hell is in the rearview.
The sun is barely above the horizon, and John's phone still can't get a signal. Cursing him out, you slip the rucksack full of supplies you found while raiding the cabin. You could've grabbed more but couldn't stay there any longer. You pussyfooted over the gun, ultimately deciding it wasn't worth the energy to find the right key or pry the door open. Not for a weapon you've never used before. Finding your shoes was the best discovery apart from the truck keys and his phone. You'll need them for the walk.
It's almost an hour before you hear a car. You hook a thumb, walking forward, staring intently at the bend in the road ahead. Seconds later, an old, two-seater pick-up appears, and though it takes a moment for it to stop, they do.
You clamber towards the driver’s side window as it rolls down.
“Need a ride?”
“Yes, please. My truck died. Can I get a ride to town?”
“‘Course. What’s your name?”
Giddy and relieved, you give your name as you toss the bag into the open bed. 
“What’s yours?” You ask, smoothing a hand over your forehead.
Your unwitting rescuer smiles. Jesus, he’s handsome. 
“Kyle.”
225 notes · View notes
jiniret-writings · 9 months
Text
Warm Blankets Pt. 1
Genre: angst, fluff
Pairing: platonic!skz x 9th member!reader
Warnings: Chan is really mean in the beginning
The actions of the members in this story do not represent how they are in real life. This is all fictional and should not be taken seriously.
Pt.1 || Pt.2 || Pt.3
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If I knew you'd act like this, I wouldn't have fought for you to be in the group!
Chan's words still rung in your head as you walked with Hyunjin, looking down to hold back another wave of tears.
You didn't know how the fight even started. One minute you were walking into his studio and the next, you were being pulled out by Hyunjin. His soft reassurances clashed with the cold look in his eyes as he looked at their leader.
Hyung! That was low. Calm down and then talk. We're done for today.
The minute the words left his mouth you were stunned. All fight and fire had left your body, leaving you cold. It wasn't easy for Chan to fight for you. The company had too many factors to consider. You were considered a "risky choice", but day in and day out, Chan fought. He practiced with you, recorded with you, and helped you prepare to be your very best. Even if you were good, you stayed up with him to strive to be better.
And in the end, it all came together. Your fate was left in the hands of public opinion and it seemed you were more liked than you thought. With 97% of the audience voting to keep you in the group, you were officially a part of Stray Kids.
You were always pushing yourself, staying late nights and having early mornings to squeeze in as much practice time as possible. You wanted to prove that you had a spot in the group. Impressing fans was important, but more than anything, you wanted to make the members proud. You wanted to make Chan proud.
You didn't remember how the fight started, but you knew he didn't mean it. Still, the words stung more than any critique or hate comment you've ever gotten. Unable to hold back the next wave of tears, you pulled Hyunjin to the side of the road and turned towards a wall to wipe the tears away. As soon as you turned away though, you felt a presence behind you and a hand on your back.
"It's okay to cry, you know. You don't have to hide it", he reassured, running his hand up and down your back. "What he said was mean, but it was wrong. You have a big part in out group. Without you, we wouldn't be Stray Kids, only Stray."
You couldn't hold back any more and hugged the older boy. He was only a few months older but it was like he took it upon himself to be the 00's eldest; he always took care of his younger members, and never left them alone when they were down.
Hugging you tightly to his chest, Hyunjin gently ran his fingers down your back, occasionally running them through your hair. He made calm shushing sounds as you let go of every tear you'd been holding back since you left the company building. You didn't know how to describe the pain you felt, but being around Hyunjin was making it better. I'm not alone. I'm wanted, you thought as your breathing finally slowed.
"Is there anything you want to do? We basically have the day off," Hyunjin whispered, still holding you to him. It was a gentler hold so you could let go if you wanted to.
You didn't want to.
Thinking it over, you were just tired. You didn't know what to do so you just shook your head. Hyunjin hummed at that, thinking. A few seconds later he said, "how about we go back to the dorms and just eat and watch movies?"
The thought of seeing the other members made your heart lighter so you looked up and nodded before stepping away from him. "Yeah, that'd be nice," you said.
"Cool! Let's get some snacks before heading back?" he asked, pointing to the convenience store not too far from where you were.
"Sure! And some drinks?"
"You got it," he responded before grabbing your hand and walking to the store.
Unknown to you, Hyunjin had sent a quick text to the dorm:
SOS, y/n had a really bad day, extra tlc needed
You lived in a dorm with Felix, Seungmin, Leeknow, and Jeongin since that dorm had five rooms and the other had four. Your dorm was immediately dubbed the "cuties dorm" because it was the maknae line + Minho.
Today wasn’t really a day off but most of your schedules were in the morning so most, if not all, if your dorm mates were home. The moment they got the text, it was like a spell was cast over them. Felix was the first to react, running to all of their rooms and grabbing every pillow and blanket he could get his hands on.
Seungmin and Minho were watching a scary movie together and got up as well. Minho went into the kitchen to start cooking your favorite meal and Seungmin looked for their matching pajama sets. You had bought it on the fay you all moved, but hadn’t had a chance to wear it. Jeongin was out for a walk when he got the text and started running home. On the way though, he spotted a cute bear and bought it quickly before heading back.
At the same time, Hyunjin sent another text to 2/3RACHA:
Leader-hyung is pissed. Casualty=1 Tread carefully
He knew today was a track-day for 3RACHA so he left them to it, but decided they deserved a warning. Chan never hurt them intentionally, but when he was mad, words could be said that he didn’t mean. Hyunjin already had one hurt kid, he didn’t want to add more to the mix. Placing his arms around your shoulders, Hyunjin walked towards the convenience store and hoped the members all pulled through.
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Here's Part One of my first mini-series here! I was originally going to make it one long post, but then it got really long so for my first one, I figured it'd be best to have this broken up into three parts.
The next two parts are being written and will be up in the upcoming days! If all goes well, the next part will be up in two days, and then part three will be up two days after the second part!
I want to reiterate the note I put in the beginning, I do not, in any way, think those words would come out of Chan's mouth. This is all purely fiction and in no way represents how I feel about the members. I love them all, but for the fic I needed an angst anchor.
Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! And as always, have a great morning, afternoon, evening, and night!
-Jini
Divider made by: @cafekitsune
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thefanficmonster · 2 months
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Piss off your parents pt.1
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PART 2
PART 3
Colby Brock x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Drinking, Swearing
Genre: FLUFF, Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: You just wanted to rebel a little, how did it get to this?
"Y/N, you're fucking insane." Colby grumbles, struggling as he unbuckles one of his best friends out of the backseat of his car. She, however, seems completely unbothered by him maneuvering her into an upright position. She's giggling, actually, a direct contrast to her mascara streaked cheeks. She's drunk, wasted. Three sheets to the wind, if you will.
He already had to put two other drunk messes to bed tonight, Y/N's his third. He should be getting paid per person and per difficulty. Nate was the easiest to subdue, followed by Sam who put up a brief 'I'm not even drunk, dudeeee' kind of fight. And now her.
The party was at Sam's house so the previous two didn't require any special treatment other than being dunked into Sam's bed. Y/N however...
She'd pleaded with Colby, the most sober one of the bunch, to just let her be. Let loose, get drunk, flirt around a bit. That being said, four hours later - two hours past her curfew - when he tried prying her away from the drink table she put up one hell of a fight.
"You have the balance of a newborn giraffe! You're done! I'm cutting you off!" He'd yelled over the music, hearing his own parents' scolding in his tone but he ignored it. He had to take on the parenting role with his friends, it was his turn after all. He knows they'd do the same - they've done the same - when he was plastered. He owed them the same curtesy. Especially Y/N.
She's usually on parenting duty, not really on the heavy drinker side. But after the fight with her parents she told him about earlier, he can't blame her for wanting to drown it out with a few extra shots.
A few too many extra shots.
He was planning on just safely storing her in one of the guestrooms for the night and playing nurse the following morning when all three would undoubtedly have a hangover. But that's when Y/N's cognitive thought kicked in.
"My parents are gonna kill me if I don't make it home tonight! I can't sleep here!" She was - and still is - heavily slurring her words but the thought of further pissing off her folks drove her into an almost sobering panic. "Call me an Uber while I find my shoes. What time is it?"
Colby had carefully dodged around answering that question, knowing it would send her into a full blown heart attack knowing she was running so late. He tried telling her on time but she'd blown him off, saying she didn't care about the stupid curfew or at least that's how much he'd caught from her string of slurred rambles.
"You're not getting an Uber at this hour. Come on, I'll drive you." He'd said reassuringly as he picked up one of her stray shoes.
They soon found the second one and her missing purse and within fifteen minutes they'd gotten in his car and were gliding down the road with the speed of a tortoise. At this point in time Colby was neither drunk nor tipsy but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets as he operated the vehicle.
"I don't wanna go to Barton!" He'd believed she was asleep after the long stretch of silence following their departure so her sudden exclamation was quite startling.
"You won't, Y/N. You're coming with us to LA, remember?" He believed in that lie as much as she did, but he needed to soothe her somehow.
"Not according to mom! I'm gonna be stuck here in Kansas all my life!" Her anger was now engulfed by sobs Colby gently offered tissues for.
He stayed quiet and let her ramble, only partially listening to the words spilling directly from her heart. He especially tried drowning out the part where she went on a whole rant abut her massive crush on Nate.
But, alas, he wasn't successful, seeing as how he was white-knuckle-gripping the steering wheel more than half the way to her house.
That's how they've ended up here - one a giggly and mascara stained drunken mess and the other a bitter and regretfully sober babysitter. Well, babysitter, Uber driver and therapist all in one. He really should start charging for his services.
He wraps one of Y/N's arms around his shoulders, securing it there by holding her hand while his other arm fixates itself around her waist to keep her upright and at least semi steady on her feet.
With a silent prayer, he tries pushing the front door open with zero luck. It's locked.
He's cycling through all the stages of grief as he comes to terms with the fact that he will, unfortunately, have to ring the bell and alert Y/N's parents of their arrival.
He does just that, although quite begrudgingly, sighing heavily when he sees a light turn on through one of the windows. The sound of oncoming footsteps follows.
His eyes are soon met with the unpleasant glare of Y/N's mom who - as he's picked up on from their handful of interactions - already isn't very fond of him.
Just him!
She's lovely to Sam and Nate, but he's not extended the same curtesy. You can visibly see the air around her get colder when she approaches him whereas she's always been so kind and welcoming to the other two people in their friend group. He hasn't been able to figure out why. Bringing it up to Y/N proved futile as she just shrugged and shook her head.
"No clue, Colbs. But don't take it personally. She's just like that." She had said, but it didn't sit right with Colby. It made no sense. And it continues to bother him.
And unnerve him, specifically now as he's being stared down by her icy gaze.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Y/L/N....just bringing Y/N home. She had a little too much to drink." There's no way in hell he could've concealed her drunkenness. She's hanging off of him with her head bowed, her hair forming a curtain over her face. He wouldn't be surprised if he were to find her already asleep.
"You know where her room is." There's an edge to her scoff that could slit a man's throat, but Colby chooses not to dwell on it. Truly, he can't, seeing as how she's already moving away from the doorway and down the hall into the living room, leaving him to deal with the mess she thinks he caused.
He can't find it in himself to be offended right now, although he probably will be later. He has bigger fish to fry.
And so, with his options limited, he opts to pick her up bridal style so he can easily carry her up the stairs. He hopes to God her parents don't see this and get the wrong idea.
Oh if he only knew what's to come...
As carefully as he can, he settles his unconscious best friend on her bed, tucking her in. He's murmuring reassuring words under his breath as he does so, not sure if they're meant for her or him but in the end it all works out.
"Night, Y/N." With that whispered in the darkness of the room and a gentle kiss on her temple, he makes his exit, briefly stopping at the bottom of the stairs to peek into the living room, "Good night, Mrs. Y/L/N."
"It's almost morning." Her reply is on-par with most of their interactions so he just pushes past it, shaking his head slightly before leaving out the front door.
As he does so, he notices the sky has taken on a brighter shade of blue, signaling Y/N's mom really wasn't exaggerating. With a sigh, he gets back behind the wheel, heading to Sam's house to check on his other two patients.
* * * * *
Her head is pounding but you'd never be able to tell from the giant grin on her face as she sprints through the neighborhood, skipping through backyards and hopping the occasional fence to cut the trip short. The strap of a duffle bag is slung over her shoulder, she's clutching onto it tightly. It has all her belongings in it, after all. It's of upmost importance she doesn't lose it.
That's be rather unfortunate right after spontaneously moving out, wouldn't it?
She wouldn't say she got kicked out of the house per-se. That would indicate that she was thrown out against her will. Quite the contrary actually. She was more than happy to leave. Had she known those were the magic words, she would've said them so much sooner.
She catches herself before she can make a face-first collision with Sam's front door, stopping to catch her breath and knock a couple of times. And a couple more times. And a few more times.
It's safe to say she's impatient. But with the news she has, you can't blame her.
"Stop! Stop!" A disheveled Sam finally opens the door, one hand partially covering his pale face, "Too loud..."
Y/N gives herself a moment to feel guilty and hug him apologetically before dashing inside. "Colby's here, right?"
"Yeah!" She hears his voice coming from the kitchen and immediately makes a beeline in his direction, dropping her bag in the foyer.
Upon entry, she finds Colby and Nate sitting by the kitchen island, both in different stages of 'the morning after'. Despite the crippling headache, however, the latter finds it in him to give her a genuine smile, sliding off the stool to envelop her in a hug.
"Aww, is someone hungover?" She mocks Nate, sneaking a sip from his Gatorade.
"Hey!" He complains, reaching over to snatch the bottle from her, "Give it back! I need it way more than you do."
Colby, unable to stomach their interaction - for reasons he doesn't want to get into right now - busies himself by looking down at his phone.
He's known of Y/N's little crush on Nate for months now. At first it was only speculation based off her demeanor around him. And then it was more like a punch to the gut when she tipsily confirmed it one night.
"Colbs?" Her voice snaps him out of his brief bitter spiral, forcing him to look up, "Can I borrow you outside for a sec?"
He's struggled with saying 'no' to her since the day they met. Not that he wants to turn her down, he just wishes he could.
And wishes she didn't. Without even knowing it. Turn him down, that is.
With a nod, he follows her out to the patio where the sun isn't kind to either of them, adding gasoline to the fire of their raging hangovers.
"Sup?" Try as he might, he has never been good at feigning nonchalance around her.
It's surprising to see her nervous. For once, he believes their playing field to be even. "So...I've got good news wrapped up in bad news."
Her words would panic him a lot more had she not come in like a force of nature with a gleaming smile adorning her face. Still, it's not at the top of the list of things he wants to hear on a Saturday morning. So, with an exaggerated sigh, he signals for her to continue, "I'm all ears. The last twenty four hours can't get much worse."
He watches her face twist as she cringes, well aware she's about to prove him wrong, "Well...." With a deep breath, she finally spits it out, "The good news is, I'm coming with you guys to LA."
Colby doesn't spare a second, momentarily forgetting the bad news she'd mentioned as he scoops her up in a hug, "No fucking way! Hell yeah! I fucking told you!" He can't describe the immense joy and relief he's feeling right now. "Kiss that Barton College shit goodbye!"
Giggling, Y/N kicks her feet, looking for solid ground beneath them. Not that she's in a rush to be set back down. In fact, for a split second, she wishes this moment could last forever.
But, she's aware it's impossible.
Suddenly, she feels guilt creeping in for even letting that thought run loose in her head. She doesn't even know how or why it popped up.
She just knows she's about to ruin it all.
"One problem..." It's actually far more than one, but they'll dissect that later on. She just has to get the main one out the way, "You see, how that came to be...."
"You have no shame! You get wasted at parties, break rules, come home past curfew." Mrs. Y/L/N's voice is shaking the house, echoing twice as loudly in Y/N's head as she's just trying to eat a bowl of cereal. "Random people are bringing you home at dawn!"
She has the gull to argue back, "Colby is not just some random person, mom!"
"Oh yeah, he of all people was the one bringing you home! What the hell, Y/N?!"
Her mom has never liked Colby. The problem is, no one knows why. Y/N isn't sure if her mom even knows why. She tried asking once, it didn't go over so well.
But that's when two and two click together into a four in her head - a bright idea. Actually, 'dim' would be better. Nothing bright is welcome within her proximity with the splitting headache she's nursing.
Without a second thought, she blurts out: "What's so wrong with having my boyfriend take me home after a party?"
Her words ring out like a gunshot in the quiet house. Yet they are nothing in comparison to the explosion of her mother's anger in response.
Colby's mouth is hanging open, his gaze piercing through more so than focusing on his friend.
She, on the other hand, is sweating bullets, anxiously waiting for him to say something and break the long silence that has fallen upon them. When he doesn't, she wills herself to whisper a mousy little "I'm sorry."
Finally, a voice leaves his parted lips: "Y/N, you're fucking insane."
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