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#swelling reduction
highstandardshh-blog · 3 months
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Living with lymphedema requires a multi-faceted approach to manage symptoms and prevent complications. One key element is a healthy diet. By making mindful dietary choices, individuals with lymphedema can not only support their overall health but also actively reduce swelling and improve lymphatic function.
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gutz-radio · 3 months
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So
Big news fellas
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justtogetthrough · 2 years
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I am so swollen and in so much pain that I'm just laying here sobbing
But my boobs look nice. While brushing my teeth this morning in a too-big shirt, my cleavage looked exactly as I've wanted it to look since I was 10
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reality-detective · 2 months
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“I gathered all vaccine ingredients into a list and contacted Poison Control. After intros and such, and asking to speak with someone tenured and knowledgeable, this is the gist of that conversation.
Me: My question to you is how are these ingredients categorized? As benign or poison? (I ran a few ingredients, formaldehyde, Tween 80, mercury, aluminum, phenoxyethanol, potassium phosphate, sodium phosphate, sorbitol, etc.)
He: Well, that's quite a list... But I'd have to easily say that they're all toxic to humans... Used in fertilizers... Pesticides... To stop the heart... To preserve a dead body... They're registered with us in different categories, but pretty much poisons. Why?
Me: If I were deliberately to feed or inject my child with these ingredients often, as a schedule, obviously I'd put my daughter in harm's way... But what would legally happen to me?
He: Odd question... But you'd likely be charged with criminal negligence... perhaps with intent to kill... and of course child abuse... Your child would be taken away from you... Do you know of someone's who's doing this to their child? This is criminal...
Me: An industry... These are the ingredients used in vaccines... With binding agents to make sure the body won't flush these out... To keep the antibody levels up indefinitely...
The man was beside himself. He asked if I would email him all this information. He wanted to share it with his adult kids who are parents. He was horrified and felt awful he didn't know... his kids are vaccinated and they have health issues...”
~  By  Iris Figueroa
Here are just SOME vaccine ingredients present in routine vaccines:
◾️Formaldehyde/Formalin - Highly toxic systematic poison and carcinogen.
◾️Betapropiolactone - Toxic chemical and carcinogen. May cause death/permanant injury after very short exposure to small quantities. Corrosive chemical.
◾️Hexadecyltrimethylammonium bromide - May cause damage to the liver, cardiovascular system, and central nervous system. May cause reproductive effects and birth defects.
◾️Aluminum hydroxide, aluminum phosphate, and aluminum salts - Neurotoxin. Carries risk for long term brain inflammation/swelling, neurological disorders, autoimmune disease, Alzheimer's, dementia, and autism. It penetrates the brain where it persists indefinitely.
◾️Thimerosal (mercury) - Neurotoxin. Induces cellular damage, reduces oxidation-reduction activity, cellular degeneration, and cell death. Linked to neurological disorders, Alzheimer's, dementia, and autism.
◾️Polysorbate 80 & 20 - Trespasses the Blood-Brain Barrier and carries with it aluminum, thimerosal, and viruses; allowing it to enter the brain.
◾️Glutaraldehyde - Toxic chemical used as a disinfectant for heat sensitive medical equipment.
◾️Fetal Bovine Serum - Harvested from bovine (cow) fetuses taken from pregnant cows before slaughter.
◾️Human Diploid Fibroblast Cells - aborted fetal cells. Foreign DNA has the ability to interact with our own.
◾️African Green Monkey Kidney Cells - Can carry the SV-40 cancer-causing virus that has already tainted about 30 million Americans.
◾️Acetone - Can cause kidney, liver, and nerve damage.
◾️E.Coli - Yes, you read that right.
◾️DNA from porcine (pig) Circovirus type-1
◾️Human embryonic lung cell cultures (from aborted fetuses)
You can view all of these ingredients on the CDCs website: 👇
You are always welcome to do your own research, in fact I encourage you to do so. 🤔
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something that kind of annoys me is when peoiple genuinely criticise tom taylor's nightwing run by saying "dick is so out of character in those 2 issues where he gets the shit beaten out of him and then falls through his window"
bc
that is taken out of the context of dick recovering from a traumatic brain injury so yeah he's going to be off balance after being whacked in the head MULTIPLE TIMES what are you talking about?!?!
it's ok, just breathe
the panel for reference
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Nightwing (2016) #83 pp. 12
don't believe me?
dick gets shot in the head just above his left ear, which you can see in both of these panels and in the cover for nightwing (2016) #50 (if you pretend if's a mirror image bc why is it on the right)
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Batman (2016) #55 pp. 21 Nightwing (2016) #50 pp. 2
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Nightwing (2016) #50 Cover
you can also see his brain scans in the same issue which nicely show the area of damage and literally list what happened
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Nightwing (2016) #50 pp. 2
so he lost bone (skull), blood (obviously), brain tissue (we'll come back to this), cerebrospinal fluid (bc there was a whole in his head), and suffered from severe vascular swelling (we'll return here too)
so, what brain tissue did dick lose?
here's the very basic anatomy of the human brain
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John Hopkins Medicine - https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/anatomy-of-the-brain (i drew the red circle)
now the ears sit just in front of the cerebellum, roughly somewhere around the red circle which lines up with the brain scan showing the damage is roughly in that notch where the temporal lobe and parietal lobe meet
the temporal lobe is involved with speech, rhythm, and short term memory
the parietal lobe is involved with pain and touch recognition, recognising objects, and oh would you look at that, spatial recognition
dick go shot in the part of the brain that tells the body where it is in relation to objects
no wonder he had a hard time fighting and trying to climb through windows, his coordination was all fucky
now the cerebellum is the part of the brain that affects balance BUT but but but we haven't talked about vascular swelling yet
vascular swelling is where the walls of the blood vessels swell (whodathunk) and this causes a reduction in the blood supply as they swell inwards
outward swelling with increase pressure on the brain which is not good either BUT this reduced blood flow = less oxygen to the brain = damage
there's a reason the symptoms of hypoxia pre-passing out are pretty much limited to your brain bc that's the organ that goes first
so with a decrease in bloodflow to his brain, there is a decent change damage was also done to every single part of his brain
now the blood supply does come in past the cerebellum so tbh there probably wouldn't be that much damage if at all however even with that it would explain how dick was still effected from getting shot
so having learned all that, lets take a look at issues 81 & 83 shall we
in #81...
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Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 5
he gets whacked in the head by heartless, someone with enhanced strength
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Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 12
he passes out because he's been whacked on the head near to where he was shot
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Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 13
this is nicely confirmed by babs
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Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 19
he gets pushed back whilst fighting and due to his injury induced lack of spatial awareness, he falls down the stairs
then in #83, after fighting blockbuster, almost getting shot again, and flying through a helicopter...
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Nightwing (2016) #83 pp. 12
he falls through his window
so yeah, i do think this is reasonable for dick to do given he's recovering from a brain injury and has just been hit in the head and probably hit it whilst falling down the stairs
and if you've made it this far, i want to emphasise the 20 million valid reasons to criticise tom taylor's nightwing run, but this just isn't one of them
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Visiting a friend and prancing around his particularly comfortable and warm hardwood floors at night only to accidentally cross the threshold & take one step onto a cold cold kitchen tile, causing a yelp and a flying leap upwards and a skid backwards, catching an errant splinter on my heel, momentum thrusting the entire needle of wood running parallell along & under that entire layer of my skin on my foot, then in the panic taking multiple turns as it soon seems to coat the entire sole of my foot with detail down to the toe, the pain makes me writhe, my body involuntarily rotating perfectly over the course of hours as it eventually not only coats an entire layer, but begins plunging deeper and deeper running lines along my entirety until finally all thats left is a thin layer of my skin, about a milliliter of blood, and some consciousness over an area of flooring. And I feel the vibration of my friends footsteps as he comes downstairs to investigate the commotion, and though I can no longer "see" per se, I can still tell that a light has been turned on, and detect a shadow cast over me. And I can now smell the emination of a smug satisfaction from above, as well as the fumes of pure human despair as I feel warmth, and beating hearts all around me, as well as my own despair, instantly set in from the realization of whats begun, the life I must now live, the gradual acceptance of it, the reduction of my active human mind, heart beating in sync with the others, the slight wetness of the process causing the wood to swell and dry warped, a slight splinter to be raised
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Infections; Prevention, Identification, & Treatment, a Harm Reduction Guide For Self-harmers
[Pt: Infections; Prevention, Identification, & Treatment, a Harm Reduction Guide For Self-harmers]
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, all of the information below is based on my research. It is always best to see a doctor if you are injured. I do not promote self-harm.
Preventing infections
[Pt: Preventing infections]
Some ways you can reduce the chance of getting an infection are...
Being up to date on your vaccinations, especially your tetanus vaccination.
Using clean blades/tools. This means, if possible, always have new tools on hand. If you can not access new tools clean them (link). Always check for rust and dirt. Dispose of your tool properly (link) if any is found. Do not use a tool if you do not know where it has been. Store your tools in a clean dry place.
Self-harm in a clean environment. Make sure your hands are clean as well.
Keep cuts, burns, and other open wounds covered with wound dressings. Remember to change wound dressings regularly and to never re-use them!
Having a healthy diet, Malnourishment increases your risk of getting an infection. This is especially important to remember if you have an Eating Disorder.
Being aware of possible risk factor is also important, such as...
Being immunocompromised
Taking immunosuppressants
Being malnourished/having an eating disorder
Being diabetic
Having limited mobility
And more
Identifying infections
[Pt: Identifying infections}
Seek intimidate medical attention if you show symptoms of a serious infection, such as…
Confusion or disorientation
Feeling faint or dizzy
Irregular heartbeat and/or breathing
Cold, clammy, pale skin
Fever (body temperature of 38c (100.4 f) or higher)
Fainting
Severe muscle pain
Painful muscle spasms
And more (link)
If you do not have anyone to take you to A&E or think you need immediate emergency care call for an ambulance. A serious infection can be deadly and cannot be treated at home. Do NOT attempt to treat one without a doctor.
Symptoms of mild infection include; spreading redness, heat, or swelling near the injury, increased or new pain, increased fluid leaking from wound, yellow or greenish fluid that may smell. Some redness, pain, and (clear, not foul smelling) fluid leakage can be normal.
If you are unsure how serious an infection is see a doctor or call your local A&E’s nurse line (if in the UK call 111 or use 111 online (link)).
Treating a (mild) infection
[Pt: Treating a (mild) infection]
Seek immediate medical attention if you experience any symptoms of serious infection (see above).
Even if you only have a mild infection, it is suggest that you see a doctor, especially if any of the risk factors listed at the beginning of this post apply to you. If you are unwilling to or unable to you can try and treat it at home.
To treat a mild infection…
Clean the wound with warm water and unscented anti-bacterial soap
Soak in warm water or apply a warm wet cloth for ten minutes
Apply antibiotic ointment to the infected wound(s)
Re-dress the wound. Do not reuse dressings.
Repeat this 3 times a day daily until infection subsides. If the infection worsens or does not go away seek medical attention.
If you are unsure how serious your infection is see a doctor or call your local A&E’s nurse line (if in the UK call 111 or use 111 online (link)).
If you do not feel that you can tend to your injury alone seek medical attention.
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sapphicvqmpires · 20 days
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❁ཻུ۪۪♡ who are we?
vampire series | shuri udaku | part 2
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Pairing - vampire!shuri x black fem!reader
Word Count - 19.4k (listen…either grab your popcorn or keep scrolling lol)
Contains - smut (18+), fingering, cunnilingus, clit play, overstimulation, choking/breathplay, biting, edging, strap-on sex, blood drinking, descriptions of blood, homophobia, angst, fluff, Shuri being a hot vampire asshole
Divider From - @firefly-graphics
Sneak Peak - As the words fell from your lips, a wave of warmth surged through Shuri’s undead heart and she swears she felt it beat for a second. Each word and syllable echoed through her vampire mind, a mind that knew loneliness and despair like no other but in came you, the light at the end of the tunnel and she swears she could die from how much she loved you. "Turn me," you repeated one last time, your voice carrying a soft insistence rather than a question. You caught a fleeting change in the color of Shuri's eyes, though she quickly masked it but you definitely noticed the subtle shift.
Tags - @inmyheadimobsessed @amplifiedmoan @vampzxi @heejayy @shurislover @shurismainbxtch @shuriszn @naomis-daydream @prettymrswright @pocketsizedpanther @gardenof-venus @tiii-iiiiii @ihearttish @playhousedistee @somethingcleaverandwhitty @niyahwrites @tishsrealwife @oceean @sookiesookie @cafehyunji @ventingfanfics @marsology @desswright29 @sweetalittleselfish-honey @kisskourt @dayedreamm @mcqueeferson @dejaonline (comment if you want to be tagged in future fics, 18+ only)
Writers Note: I’m so so sorry, this took so long, but I wanted it to be perfect and I had so many periods of being unmotivated, I didn’t want to force myself to write when I wasn’t feeling it. But thank you so so much to everyone that stuck around and was patient with me, I’m sure all the sneak peeks and shit were frustrating but we’re here! Grab your popcorn and enjoy my loves :) ❁ཻུ۪۪♡
Part 1 - who are you?
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November 23rd, 2411, New York (continued…)
❁ཻུ۪۪♡ You were at a genuine loss for words, and it appeared she felt the same way. It had been quite a while since the last time you spoke with her, and even for a vampire, it truly felt like a long time ago. You broke the silence with the first thing that came to mind; the simplest way to ease back into the dialogue and it was a question you truly wanted to know the answer to.
“How…how have you been? Where have you been?” Your voice shook with the vibrations of sheer astonishment, still attempting to comprehend the sight of her gracefully seated before you.
"I've been... well. You know, just wandering the world, experiencing new things. Nothing out of the ordinary I suppose," she responded, and you couldn't ignore the subtle reduction in her once thick accent. It wasn't a dramatic change, probably not noticeable to human ears, but your keen senses detected it. How could you ever forget the voice that once made your own heartbeat falter?
“Your voice…”
She raised an eyebrow. “What about my voice?”
“You sound…different. Your accent…it isn’t as thick as it used to be.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, I just…it just caught me off guard is all.”
"Hmmm," she hummed curiously. "But your voice hasn't changed. You still got that annoying whiny voice," she teased with a smirk, and it was the most familiar you had felt with her so far. That confident grin paired with the sarcastic comment, your undead heart could almost swell at how it made your body react. It reminded you of just how much you truly missed her. You playfully flicked her on the shoulder, and it sparked laughter from both of you. Oh, how you missed her laugh. You missed the way her adorable face would scrunch up, and her perfectly aligned teeth would come into view. It made your stomach flutter, reminiscent of the days when you were human, and you couldn't help but get lost in that familiar feeling that you had almost forgotten.
“Well I’m glad not all of you has changed. You’re still a dumbass,” you reply half-jokingly, making you both laugh once more. Once the laughter subsides, you find yourself aching to know more about her and what she’s been up to.
“So…you’re back in New York, I see,” you comment.
“I could say the same about you, s’thandwa.”
“Yeah well…you know…what better place for a vampire than the city that never sleeps, right?”
Briefly, Shuri falls into silence but you can see it in her eyes, the way they glisten that she feels a moment of intimacy.
“You remember that?”
“Of course I remember that, Shuri. I remember a lot.”
Shuri graces you with a crooked smile, highlighting the glossy sheen that coats the irises of her dark eyes. For an instant, a comforting warmth embraces you, as if this is precisely where you were meant to be at this exact point in time.
“And what about you, y/n? How have you been?”
You stop, your body tensing as you contemplate the myriad of responses you could provide. In all honesty, the years without her have been a collision of tides, a shifting wavelength of emotions and experiences that have caused you to both love and resent Shuri. There are moments when you despise her, yet miss her with every fiber of your being. As she poses the question, a fleeting hint of anger threatens to surface, but you inhale the breath you don't need before proceeding to answer.
“I’ve been…everything, I guess? I’ve felt everything, learned everything, and now I’m just lonely. I’ve been so full and empty at the same time…I don’t know, Shuri. It’s just been—”
But Shuri interrupts with the gentle stroke of her thumb on your cheek. Her tender caress seems to fill the void that has haunted you for nearly two centuries. You can't help but feel a pathetic sense of vulnerability as her small touch impacts you, but you permit yourself to experience it fully. You embrace the warmth she imparts with that simple gesture because, in this world of loneliness, few things compare to the solitude of a vampire. You needed this.
“I know, angel. I know. Open up to me. I’m here.” Her voice drew you in like a siren's song like it did so many years ago, guiding you to the profound depths of your emotions as you shed the first tear you had in years. She gently wiped it away with the pad of her thumb before enveloping you in the warmth of her hold, and you surrendered to her care.
“I’m here, y/n. I’m here.”
April 20th, 2022, New York
It had been approximately two months since Shuri unveiled her true nature, two months since you both professed your love, and two months since you posed the unanswered question that you still desperately held in your heart. You were reluctant to press her on the matter, yet it gnawed at you that she hadn't responded. Of course there would be good reasons as to why she never answered you, but what could that reason be?
You were together, entwined in your bed sheets as the moon light shone through your window, passionately embracing her as she kissed you. The depth of your love for her and her reciprocal feelings made you wish for this moment to quite literally be everlasting. The sensation of having her in your arms was something you could never tire of, so you reveled in what she was offering at that very moment.
“You’ve been kissing me for a long time now,” you say with a smile, lying beneath her as her smile mirrors yours. She plants another kiss on your nose before resting her head on your chest, nestling her soft curls into your skin.
“I just love you,” she replies, and she chuckles under her breath at how your heart skips a beat.
“That’s not fair, Shuri.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You laughing at the way my heart reacts to you…I know you got your incredible senses or whatever but you need to quit making fun of me.”
With a quick and fluid vampiric motion, Shuri changes positions, now leaning against the headboard while you straddle her. It almost takes your breath away, even though you should be accustomed to her rapid movements by now.
“Shuriiii, fuck,” you say, trying to keep calm the dizziness.
“Shutup,” she comments, bringing your lips back to hers. “You’re so beautiful, y/n.”
And you can’t help but scoff a little. “Yeah maybe for now, until I turn old and wrinkly.”
“You humans and age. Being old does not equate to being ugly. Aging is a blessing.”
You let out a pained sigh at her statement, not satisfied with the way she tries to keep you human. “Well that would be easy for you to say. You’re gonna look young and hot forever.”
Shuri raises her eyebrow, one that shows you she has a smart remark to say.
“You think I’m hot?”
“Fuck you!,” you reply, playfully hitting Shuri’s shoulder. “You’re annoying.”
“I wasn’t so annoying when I let you ride me the other night, now was I?”
You felt your cheeks flame up in embarrassment.
“Shuri, oh Shuri! Right there, yes!,” she mocks before she subtly laughs at you. You pick up the pillow beside you and slam it against her.
“Asshole!”
Shuri could not help but laugh at you and as you attempted to hit her once again, her vampire reflexes caught you off guard, halting you before you got to her.
“Show off.”
“Only sometimes.”
Once more, her lips capture you as she draws you closer. This kiss is unhurried and seductive, syncing with the rhythm of your heart as you encircle your arms around her neck, surrendering to the intoxicating sensations she evokes within you.
“You look beautiful by the way…when you work for it.”
“Shuri—”
“Really though. I should make you ride me more often. You’re so sexy like that.”
Her words nearly elicited a moan from you, but you held back, keeping your lips connected to hers as she spoke. You were determined not to give her the full satisfaction.
“You’re a dick.”
“Watch your mouth.”
Slowly, her mouth trailed down to your throat, kissing tenderly against the scar that she left from the first and last time she drank from you.
“This is healing nicely.”
“Yeah…well,” you comment with an attitude you swore was subtle but Shuri knew you better.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong with what?”
“You, y/n. Are you ok? Did I upset you?”
You said nothing.
“I know you have something to say, princess. Spill it.”
You could feel the nerves kindling within you, unable to escape the realization of how apparent it must be to Shuri that something was tugging at your heart.
“How come you don’t drink my blood anymore when we have sex?” Not exactly what you wanted to ask, but it was a question that was burning at you nonetheless. Shuri sighed, peeling her eyes off of you for a moment before proceeding. “Did I do something wrong? Do I taste weird or something??”
“Don’t do that, y/n. It’s not on you. And trust me…you are the best I’ve ever tasted.”
“Then what is it, Shuri?? I don’t get it.”
“Of course you don’t get it. How could you?”
“Baby…please.”
Shuri took a momentary pause, a brief silence hanging in the air, as if collecting her thoughts or contemplating her next words.
“I do not want to lose control again. I almost…I almost didn’t stop the first time. I don’t want that to happen again.”
“But you did stop, Shuri. You did. You need to cut yourself some slack. You did so good and it felt so good for me and I know it felt good for you too. I want you to drink from me again when we fuck.” You couldn't avoid appearing somewhat needy, maybe even a tad bit whiny, but you were unbothered by that. The desire to experience that closeness with her again was paramount, and you were confident she shared the same longing.
“But what if I—”
“Ssshh, Shuri. You won’t hurt me. I just want us to be able to experience each other to the fullest. You’re a vampire and I love that about you. I want you to know that I’m ok and that I want you to drink from me, especially when we have sex.”
Your words made Shuri ache, her pussy clenched at the way you craved her the way she craved you. “Ok but…if I hurt you—”
“Ah ah! You won’t, baby. I trust you.”
Once again, her gentle lips found yours as she moaned into you right before she abruptly detached from you.
“Ok, now what is it you really want to say to me?,” she questions, her deep understanding of you almost angers you, especially when you wish to simply just run away from certain situations.
“What?”
“Do not play stupid with me, s’thandwa. You cannot run away from me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Shuri…please.”
“Uh uh. Speak.”
You sat there on her lap, admiring her beautiful features, the stern yet soft look she gave you now made your stomach churn, wanting to run away from your burning desire but the more you choked it down, the more it became harder to breathe.
“I…why did you never answer me when I asked you to turn me?”
The softness in her face diminished to something harsher, her features melting into seriousness and it frightened you a bit.
“It’s not what you want, y/n.”
You sneer at this, annoyed at how easily she makes that claim for you. “If it wasn’t what I wanted, I wouldn’t have asked you. Now would I?”
Shuri shakes her head at you, a smirk appearing on her face before speaking. “This mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one day.”
“Please Shuri, can you be serious for one second. I’m not joking.”
“I know you aren’t.”
“Then please just…stop messing with me.”
“I’m not messing with you.”
“Shur—”
Your words were halted by Shuri's finger pressing gently against your lips. Her eyes scanned your entire face before settling back on your plump lips, swollen from your fervent yearning for her.
“Just please…shut up for a second.”
As the all-too-familiar sensation of her lips meeting yours washes over you, you whimper into her, yearning for her and everything she embodies as you welcome her intense kisses.
“Please.” It was all you could say, and you weren’t even sure what it was you were asking for at the moment. What you do know is that your body is aflame, your mouth ablaze as her tongue glides between the curves of your sweet lips.
“I want you forever,” you moaned into her mouth.
"Mhmmm," she responded, surrendering as you trailed your kisses along her angular jawline, deepening them the further you descended down her body. It didn't take much time before she took off her shirt, providing room for your mouth to explore the curves of her abdomen, and your sloppy tongue made Shuri’s pussy clench in anticipation. Slipping your hand beneath her shorts, you ran your fingers through her boxers, chuckling at how damp she already was. All this mess between her thighs as a result of her love for you, her desperate need for you. Your poor baby was absolutely soaking the whole time.
“You’re so wet, Shuri.”
“Fuck,” she moaned, bucking her hips forward for the friction she evidently craved.
“Let me eat your pussy, baby, yeah? I wanna taste that mess between your thighs.”
“Fuck. Yes, y/n. P-please.”
Hearing Shuri trip over her words as you pleasured her was a sound you would never get tired of. It made your body ache with a passion, to hear her voice diminish down to desperate pleas as you pressed your tongue against the swell of her clit, and it didn’t take long for your mouth to find her pussy. Once you ripped off her clothing and admired the shimmer that reflected off her needy cunt, you took your fingers and splayed her folds open and your mouth found her clit like a magnet, wrapping your lips around her sensitive bud before your tongue ran laps around her.
“Oh,” she faintly moaned, a habit she would do as she struggled to contain her moans but you always took it as a challenge, making sure you left her in nothing but trembling shambles as you pleased her. It was easy to see she was trying her best to hold in her moans, the way her throat let out choked whimpers every time you lapped up into her but the minute you spat on her pussy and inserted two fingers inside, you made it a challenge on her to contain the sounds of pleasure that reckoned to rip right through her.
“OH…y-yeah…yes, y/n, just like that. Oh fuck.”
Your lips lifted into a smile, proceeding to suck on her pounding clit as you felt her pussy walls clench around your fingers. She was so needy, so evidently desperate for you and you felt nothing but the same for her.
“You taste so sweet, baby,” you hummed into her. “Cum on my face. I want you to cum on my face.”
“M’kay, okay…fuck, baby.” Her high pitched whimpers made your pussy throb, the sound and smell of her squelching cunt made you fuck into her faster and harder, continuously tapping that spot inside her that you knew would make her lose it.
“Unh!”
You gaze up at her, convinced that the sight alone justifies your yearning for eternal life. The radiance of her sweaty dark skin, the rhythmic contraction of her abs as her pussy closes around you, but her face was the purest of all. Her mouth hung ajar, jaw slack, singing profanities of pleasure, her eyes grappling to connect with yours as she resists the urge to roll them back. In this moment, she is at her most vulnerable, her weakest, and observing her let her guard down is something you desire to witness for the rest of your days. And that was not even the best part; the best part was what was to come next, as you wrapped your lips around her, siphoning her swollen clit and plunging before her body released right onto your face as she came.
“Princess! Oh…UNH!”
And there it was: your favorite part. Observing the transformation in her face as her orgasm resonated through her. The shift in her irises to a deep red hue, her fangs extending to their fullest length, all while she fought to maintain control over her body amid the orgasm wracking through her was truly a sight you alone could cum from.
“UNH!”
“Yes, baby. Keep fucking my face. Give me all of your cum.”
“Oh…fuck.”
Her pussy is hard to let go of, something you latch onto even as she’s whining and shuddering in overstimulation. You lap her up like you're starving, slurping every drop of her warm juice before she grabs your hair and forces you off of her. You whine at this, wanting more but you knew she had reached her limit as you rested your head on her chest, waiting for her body to cease its trembling.
“You c-can’t do shit like that, y-y/n. I could hurt y-you,” she struggles to say and that sight makes you smirk with pride.
“Awww, poor baby. No way you can hurt me when you’re shaking like this. You must’ve cum hard as fuck,” you taunted in faux sympathy.
“Sh-shut up. You forget I could s-snap you,” she tries to snark back, but her struggle to come back down was not helping her tough image. You chuckle before kissing her pouting lips.
“Talk like that all you want, baby, but we both know you love when I put my mouth on you.”
You kiss once more before she decides to take matters into her own hands.
“It’s your turn,” she comments, suddenly pinning you down beneath her and your body is heated, writhing in anticipation before you are inconveniently disturbed by the sound of your phone ringing.
“Fuck,” Shuri spits.
“Shit. My mom is calling me.”
Shuri groans in frustration, rolling over beside you dramatically as you answer the phone.
“I know, babe, but she never calls me. Could be an emergency.”
"Fine," Shuri seethes, with an exaggerated eye roll, and you can't help but chuckle at her flair for drama. Shuri tunes into your conversation, vampire ears catching your mother's voice on the other end of the line, and you're well aware of it.
“You were listening, weren’t you?,” you question once you hang up.
“I was.”
“You’re so fucking nosey.”
Shuri just shrugs her shoulders. “Soooo, are you going to go see your parents like she asked?”
“I really don’t want to. I already know what they’re going to talk about and I don’t wanna hear it. But I guess I should go. I honestly haven’t spoken to them since Jon…”
You chose not to finish your sentence but Shuri had no problem doing it for you. “You mean since I ate your asshole of an ex??”
“Yeah…that.”
“You know, I have yet to meet your parents. I’ve known you for just over a year now, and you almost never speak about them.”
“And what is a year to you? Aren’t you like 500?”
“You think you are so funny.”
“You love my jokes,” you tease. “But really, there’s a good reason as to why you haven’t met them. Trust me, you do not wanna meet them.”
“I think it would be good for me to meet them.”
“Yeaaahhh, no. Not gonna happen.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so, Shuri. I don’t get along with them. And besides they’re…old school. They would never accept you and me.”
Laughter escapes Shuri, finding you incredibly adorable as you worry about what her meeting them might do.
“Do you forget who I am, princess? If there is anyone who understands old school, it would be me. I would love to meet your parents. I understand you might not have the best relationship with them, but I think it would be good for us to go together. Just tell them you’re inviting a friend, there is no need to tell them that we are in a relationship if you do not want to. You do that on your own time. But I would love to meet them,”
You say nothing.
“Please?”
“You know what? Fuck it! Fine! You can meet them but don’t be surprised when things go left. I’m warning you, Shuri. They’re weird.”
“I’m with you, aren’t I? I can handle weird.”
“Fuck you!,” you say, playfully hitting her once more with the pillow and she lets you this time.
“Wait…how am I supposed to tell them that we gotta meet them at night?”
“Just tell them what I told you. Tell them I’m allergic to the sun.”
You take a moment to ponder the situation before agreeing. She nods quietly and then departs, leaving you with your thoughts, the absence of her presence leaving a lingering sense of contemplation in the air.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Sitting at the dining room table, where Shuri had left her food untouched, and your parents bombarded you with questions about your future, felt like your heart could plummet to the depths of your stomach. The atmosphere, filled with nothing but painful memories, was sheer torture. Although you were aware that having Shuri witness the deceitfulness of your parents would be difficult, you were never truly ready for the frustration that would ignite beneath your skin.
“You barely touched your food, Shuri. Is there a problem?,” your mother asked.
“I told you she wasn’t hungry mom, just leave her alone,” you groaned, making no effort to hide your irritation.
“That is no way to talk to your mother, y/n,” your father chimed in with his unwanted comments that always made your blood boil.
“Mhmmm.”
There came an awkward silence, with nothing but the sound of utensils scraping against plates with all eyes unmistakingly fixed on you, including Shuri’s.
“What happened to you?,” your mother asked, pointing to the scar on your neck and you could just sense the subtle smirk on Shuri’s face.
“It’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Can ya’ll just say what you wanna say already?,” you slightly burst. “I know why you called me here and I think it would be the best for everyone here if we forget the fucking scar and just get on with it.”
Your parents looked at each other before looking at you, both with a stern look that truly did frighten you a little but you wouldn’t dare let that show.
“Your future, y/n. The passing of Jonathan has left you with no money for your future. He was the plan all along and now he is gone…what do you plan on doing now with yourself??,” your father asked, his demeaning voice and commanding presence reverberating through the room, making the patter of your heart quicken. Your discomfort was evidently apparent to Shuri, and this was made known with the way she discreetly rubbed your thigh beneath the table.
“Dad…please—”
“Listen to your father, y/n. We say this because we care for you.”
“Care for me?? Well that’s a first, isn’t it??,” you snarked beneath your breath, purposely loud enough for their ears to catch.
“You need to find a new partner soon. We think we have someone who is interested…”
The rest of what was said drifted from you, nothing but the sound of static overcame the nonsense that you just knew was pouring out of your parents mouths. You felt nauseous, like the wind had just been knocked out of you and you could pass out at any moment. You just wanted to be free, free from the expectations your parents have put on you since you were a child; free from them using you as a pawn to bring more wealth into their family. You wanted out.
“Y/n,” Shuri chimed in, trying her best to comfort you. “Breathe baby, breathe. I’m right here,” she said not with her mouth but with her mind.
“And who are you, may I ask?,” your father interrupted, his deep voice breaking the calm that was once Shuri’s voice and you were afraid of what his confrontation would escalate into.
“Dad, please don’t start,” you muttered with a feeling of knowing exactly where this was headed. You knew Shuri and you knew your father and neither of them made room for disrespect.
“Hey…it’s ok,” Shuri murmured to you as her gaze softened in reassurance. But the look in her eyes didn’t escape your father’s notice, rather deepening his suspicions. You could see the anger simmering behind his heavy glare, that look that always made you fearful of him as a child. His demeanor shifted, the tension thickening as he repeated his question.
"Who. Are. You??,” he demanded, each word laced with venom. You knew instantly that he’d figured it out. Your father was an observant man who never failed to hide his disdain for the gay community. His hatred ran deep, and it was precisely one reason why you had always feared introducing Shuri to him. When his cold gaze shifted to you, a wave of numbness washed through your entire body.
“You brought a dyke into my home, y/n?”
“Dad…please, not right now.”
“Oh, we are doing this right now.”
The tension in the room was suffocating, hanging thick in the air like a storm about to break. Every sound seemed sharper, every movement slower, as if the very walls held their breath.
“Sir, if I may speak—”
“And why are you here with my daughter? Who are you and what are you doing here??”
A change flickered across Shuri’s face, the look of someone ready to face a challenge and it was an expression you recognized all too well.
“Shuri…please,” you softly begged.
“He’s disrespecting you and I don’t like that.” But her eyes stayed locked on your father’s. The silent exchange between them spoke volumes, a tension mirrored in the cold expressions of both your parents. Panic rose to the brim of your throat as you shot to your feet and grabbed her wrist, desperately trying to pull her toward the door and away from this place. But she stood her ground, unmoving and frozen.
“I am her father. I’m the one who raised her. Who are you to come into my home and talk to me that way??”
“Your daughter does not want to marry whoever it is you think you have in mind. She is a grown woman and her own person. She does not want him. She will never love him. And she sure as hell will never marry him!”
“And why is that?? Because you came into the picture?? A good for nothing dyke? You are a perversion of humanity, a disgust to God’s eyes and you do not deserve to know my daughter! I will never allow this!”
Shuri’s anger flared, and you noticed the faint red glow in her eyes. Just as you moved to intervene, she did exactly what you feared; she lunged at your father, her anger uncontrollably lashing. In an instant, she was on him, sinking her teeth into his throat with a terrifying, blood-fueled rage.
“SHURI!!”
Your mother’s scream pierced the air as your father struggled, desperate and terrified, trying to shove Shuri off him. Panic gripped you as you shouted her name.
“SHURI! SHURI, STOP!”
It was the desperation and fear in your voice that pulled her back to you. Her fangs retracted, and her eyes slowly returned to their usual color as she turned to look at you. Your fathers blood stained her face, dripping down her jaw while your trembling father reached for the gun hidden in the drawer. He did not hesitate to point the barrel right at her and you felt as if your heart was going to burst out of your chest. In a second, a deafening BANG rang through the room before the bullet struck Shuri in the abdomen, but she didn’t even flinch. Blood flowed freely, yet the wound sealed itself almost instantly, faster than you could exhale. The complete and utter terror on your parents face as your father shot once more, only to have the same outcome, was enough to make you almost collapse and pass out.
“Stay away from me de-demon…,” your dad stuttered while your mother held onto him for dear life, and you had never felt so afraid for what was to come next.
“Y/n, I need you to leave the room…now,” Shuri said sternly in such a matter that you knew she meant it but you did not care.
“I’m not leaving, are you crazy??”
“Now! Before I actually hurt them!”
Her words smacked you in the face, and the look in her eyes told you she was leaving no room for disobedience. Reluctantly, you stepped away, but stayed close enough to overhear what was unfolding. What you caught were only snippets of Shuri’s voice and an unsettling silence from your parents. Curiosity gnawed at you, and you held your breath as you peeked around the corner. There was Shuri, speaking to both your parents as if she had them under a trance. Your parents stood frozen, their bodies unmoving, and a chill ran down your spine, goosebumps prickling to the surface of your skin. The sight made you shiver as you struggled to keep from collapsing. Why hadn’t she told you about this when you first questioned her about being a vampire? The realization dawned on you: mind control. And now you couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever used it on you.
“Fuck. You weren’t supposed to see that,” Shuri snarled, grabbing your wrist harshly as she pulled you both out the door, out of your parents' presence, and into a painfully quiet car ride.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“What the fuck was that?,” you irritably asked.
“Do not start with me right now, y/n.”
“Don’t sta—? Excuse me?? Have you lost your fucking mind??”
Shuri flopped down onto the sofa assertively, sitting man spread as she leaned back, rubbing her face with an air of agitation and impatience. It seemed as though she was deliberately ignoring your words.
“Hello? Earth to Shuri?? What, am I talking to myself here??”
“Might as well be.”
“You are…so fucking fucked up. My dad? Really, Shuri??”
“He’s lucky that’s all I did.”
You felt a jolt of shock, your eyes widening as you were rendered speechless. The nonchalant tone in her words stirred frustration in your stomach, and you struggled to contain your rising temper when upset.
“So what? Someone doesn’t like you and what, you kill them? You’re fucking unwell!”
She didn’t answer, just scoffed like you weren’t even there.
“And when were you going to tell me about how you can control minds or whatever the fuck that was?? Don’t you think that’s important information about you I should know?!”
“So you did see that…?,” she whispered under her breath with a subtle chuckle, her head bowed in shame as she fought to connect her eyes to yours.
“Yes I fucking saw that. Like you really just fucking looked at my parents and made them forget all that shit right infront of my fucking eyes like it was nothing…like you really just did that and never thought to fucking tell me??”
“So what, y/n?? Did you want me to let them remember that I almost killed your father?? Would that have been the rational thing to do?!”
“I’m only saying it would have been nice to know! That’s information I deserve to know, is it not? I’m your fucking girlfriend, am I right?!”
“If I had told you, you would walk the rest of our relationship questioning if it was real, correct?”
You said nothing.
“Yeah, that is what I thought. I have my reasons as to why I do or do not tell you things. Do not question my decisions to do so…”
“Yeah whatever, Shuri. Let’s be all dismissive and inconsiderate. Let’s all just get angry and eat people like fucking psychopaths!,” you yelled in a sarcastic tone but your anger was anything but sarcasm.
“And you want to be just like me, right? Is that not what you want? To be a vampire for the rest of your days? Let me tell you something…that is what being a vampire is!”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Don’t piss me off, y/n.”
Her words were delivered in an almost quiet and restrained manner, as if they were small and insignificant. But beneath the surface of calmness, you sensed a simmering anger that was on the brink of breaking through her skin; the intensity of her emotions was palpable despite the softness of her voice.
“Do you see what I have to go through everyday in my life?? THAT is what I’ll have to deal with and THAT is what I want to run away from. As long as I’m human, they are all I have! And I’m nothing but a tool for them! A means to bring in wealth to their pockets because they’re nothing but scum and I want out!”
“Have you not listened to a word I’ve said?” Her sudden change in tone sent a chill down your spine, its sharpness and intensity striking a nerve. “How it has been hell on earth for me??”
The hurt in her eyes and the pain in her voice gave you an immediate pang of regret and empathy.
“So what?? You want us to be together until I die? And you move on?” Your voice caught in your throat, choked by the effort of holding back tears. Each word felt like a struggle as emotions welled up inside you, threatening to spill over.
“Yes. Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
You were consumed by a mix of hurt and anger, emotions swirling within you like a turbulent storm. The room around you fell into an oppressive silence, a quiet that was deafening, emphasizing the profound impact of the emotional turmoil you fought so hard to keep at bay.
“When your dad said those things to me, called me those names, it stirred up old memories I thought I'd forgotten and I simply lost it. The way society used to treat people like you and me, it was so difficult to live even as a vampire. I used to be called every name in the book, treated like scum because where does a black lesbian woman fit into society in the 1800’s? How about in the 20’s? Or the 50’s? There was none. You guys have no idea what it means to not be who you are meant to be.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“What?”
“You’re a vampire. You could live anywhere in the world and anytime you wanted. Why would you stay in America of all places?”
A soft chuckle escapes her, followed by a small tilt in her smile as she quietly rolls her eyes. “I did the stupidest thing a vampire could ever do.”
Confusion washed over you like a wave, leaving your expression visibly puzzled.
“I fell in love.”
“Oh.”
“I had been alone for so many years and that was the first time in my 100 years of being a vampire, had I felt alive and full…and human.”
“Who was she?”
“She was…perfect.”
A small smile appeared on your face before it quickly washed away. “Was she…the girl in my dream? The one you gave me…”
She nodded.
“She wanted you to turn her.”
“Yes.”
“Did you?”
She shook her head.
“No.”
“Why not? You loved her. You wanted to be with her forever, right? So why not just turn her??”
“I know what you’re doing, y/n. I’m not doing this right now.”
“But…please.”
The air between the two of you grew still and quiet, filled only with the weight of unspoken words. The silence stretched on, punctuated by the sound of distant waves rolling outside her home. It felt like there was a physical barrier between you, leaving an uncomfortable tension in its wake and so you raised your voice a little.
“Why don’t you just answer my question??”
“Do you not understand?? Being a vampire took everything I’ve ever loved away from me. That is what I’m trying to tell you. My mom, my friends, my family…the list is endless.”
You walked over to her and took your place beside her, leaning your head gently on her shoulder as the fabric of her shirt collected your tears before you kissed her shoulder. Despite the sorrow that filled both your hearts, your presence conveyed a quiet reassurance for Shuri as it always does. And that’s why she loves you; you shared an embrace in the face of emotional vulnerability.
“I’m so sorry life was unkind to you, Shuri, and I’m sorry being a vampire has been nothing but hell for you.”
You looked up at her with swollen, beady eyes; the aftermath of your tears evident in your pout.
“But the difference between you and me, Shuri, is that vampirism took from you because you actually had something to lose. You had a home, a family, friends, status…I don’t have anything. Nothing. You’re all I have…and I don’t want to lose you too.”
Shuri gazed down at you with a mixture of hurt and love in her eyes, a complex blend of emotions that spoke volumes. As she leaned forward, her lips brushed gently against your forehead in a tender gesture and you exhaled in relief before she abruptly stood up.
“I’m going to go take a walk.”
“But the sun will be up in a couple hours,” you respond with genuine concern.
“I’ll be back. I just need fresh air.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
A few hours passed by and you grew concerned as you waited anxiously. Finally, you hear sounds of movement emanating from the kitchen, and a wave of relief washes over you as Shuri returns.
“Finally, I was beginning to worry.” You approach the kitchen but she doesn’t respond. “Shuri?”
But it wasn't Shuri. Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest with fear as you entered the kitchen to find a total stranger making herself comfortable in Shuri's kitchen. The stranger was strikingly beautiful, with a deep and flawless complexion. Her hair was intricately braided in goddess braids, a wave of intertwined hair and curls that fell down to her hips, and her lips had the rich fullness of a summer rose in full bloom. All her features harmonized to form one of the most beautiful faces you had ever seen. What intrigued you the most, however, was the uncanny familiarity of her face, despite being certain you had never met her before.
“Who…who are you?,” you stammered, your shaky voice hard to contain but the woman did not answer you verbally; instead she returned your answer with a soft smile that should have been comforting but the glassy conceit in her eyes sent shivers through your entire body.
“Who are you??,” you asked once more, raising your voice a bit but still, she said nothing.
“I’m going to call—”
“Who?? Shuri??,” she cuts you off, a villainous smirk graces her face, a twisted expression that holds genuine amusement and you could feel your heart quicken beneath your ribcage.
“How do you know Shuri?”
“Oh me and her go way back,” she says so ‘matter-of-factly’.
“Wait, are you a—”
Once more, she interrupts you, appearing in front of you in a mere millisecond with a gust of air that brushes against your body. You gulp slightly as she stares you down, her eyes tinged with judgment. Fear envelops you like a suffocating cloak, yet you remain still, unwilling to challenge the woman who seemed delighted in the fear she instilled upon you.
You hear the door open behind you, and a slight sense of relief washes over you. The woman behind you breaks into a full, sinister smile.
"At last," she whispers, taking a seat on the island in Shuri's kitchen. When Shuri entered the premises, it was the most frightened and shocked you had ever seen her, her eyes seeped in fear and confusion at the image before her. But it isn’t too long before that fear is stripped away with anger, her fists balled up in frustration as both her and the unknown woman stared each other down.
"Shuri... Who is she?," you ask, breaking the stomach-churning silence.
“Please answer her, she’s already asked me twice and it's getting annoying,” the woman snarked.
“Adanna…you…you’re alive??”
“Oh, I very much died, but you know how the rest goes, I suppose,” she replies with a smirk.
“Who is she, Shuri??” Your voice takes on an edge, the words clipped and pointed. There's a noticeable tension in your words, as if each syllable is strained through gritted teeth.
“Ugh, answer your pest-of-a girl!”
Shuri's demeanor shifts noticeably as a veil of shame descends over her, her shoulders lower with a weight of embarrassment. For a moment, she does what she usually does in times like this, avoiding direct eye contact before she speaks.
“Remember that dream I gave you? The girl I showed you…? Well…that’s her.”
You remember in an instant. Recollections flood back, including Shuri's words about her passing from old age. The anger you feel is overwhelming and beyond words.
“The girl from your dream??”
Shuri nods, not even looking at you, her eyes still on the other woman.
“You…Shuri look at me!”
And she does. Without question.
“You told me she died of old age. You lied to me??”
The woman bursts into a cynical laughter. “Really Shuri? I ‘died’?? Well y/n, tell me more. What else did Shuri say about me? I’d love to hear this,” she chuckles but her admiration was sincere. You glanced at Shuri, almost seeking permission to proceed, but the notion of needing her approval quickly faded as you uncomfortably settled into the situation you were in. You were eager to uncover more about Adanna. Things that Shuri had never disclosed to you.
“That’s all she said about you. But…she showed me you…in a dream. You were human. You wanted Shuri to turn you. She drank your blood.” The details from the vivid dream began to replay and flood back into your memory. Adanna’s expression softened, resembling the poor, desperate girl that Shuri held in your dream.
"What happened to you?" Shuri interjects, genuine concern etched across her face as she observes her from a distance. Adanna's attention swiftly shifts from you to Shuri, her whole body radiating hurt and rage before she speaks.
“How dare you…” The words were spat in such a way that made your muscles tense. “You happened, Shuri! You came into my life and now what?? You are going to do the same thing to her!”
“No…I will not.”
“It’s too late, Shuri. You’ve already thought of it. I’ll tell you what’s going to happen…” She smiles devilishly, casting a quick glance in your direction before striding towards Shuri, the sound of her heels echoing loudly in your ears. “You’re going to fall desperately in love with her, if you haven’t already, you’re going to live a short life with her and then she will grow old and die. And that’s if she’s one of the lucky ones, you know how fragile they are. As long as she’s human, death will always be simple for her.”
She moves swiftly behind you, using her speed and strength to press your body against hers, as she gently wraps her hand around your throat, not to choke you, but to evoke fear in both you and Shuri at what she was capable of.
“Don’t even think about it or I’ll hurt her.”
“Please Adanna, leave her out of this.” Worry clouded Shuri’s eyes and it broke you.
“I can tell you really love her. So why won’t you turn her?? Why keep her this fragile and pathetic human being??” Her grip on your throat slightly tightens and you thickly swallow beneath her.
“You know why.”
“Oh I know full well…but does she??” She lets go of your throat, before taking a finger and caresses the thick artery that runs along the side of your neck, Your heart is pulsing in absolute terror and she chuckles at the way your body reacts to her.
“Don’t you dare hurt her.”
“Shut the hell up!”
You unwillingly tremble at her loud words.
“Oh baby, don’t look so scared,” she taunts. She skims your throat again, caressing the fang work from Shuri’s indulgence of you. “I see she’s had her fair share of you.”
You swallow, your throat bobbing beneath her touch.
“She’s really good in bed, isn’t she?”
Fear grips your eyes as you glance at her, and she giggles at your visible apprehension.
“It’s ok baby, you can admit it. I know all too well. She used to fuck me stupid too. But back in the day, people were not as…accepting of our lifestyle. I mean, really? What could be worse than being a gay, black woman in the 1920’s?? But that only made it so much more fun, right Shuri?? We had a blast didn’t we, babe? On the bar after work hours, cars in the back lane, under my dress at speakeasy tables?? Hotel rooms, back rooms…the fear of being caught… what a thrill.”
“That’s enough!”
She smiles and strides confidently toward Shuri, standing slightly over her in tall heels. With a sudden gesture, she lightly grips Shuri's jaw, catching the both of you off guard.
“Or what? What are you gonna do, baby? Kill me? We both know you never could.” She lets go of her jaw and trails her finger down her chest, admiring Shuri’s beauty and the sight makes your stomach twist; a surge of jealousy and protectiveness washes over you but what could your fragile body possibly do in a situation like this?
“You’ve gotten even sexier over the years, mm mm mm. The way I just wanna…this same chiseled jaw, used to drive me crazy.”
“Adanna…leave.”
“I guess I should, the sun will be rising soon. Or…I could just…stay here.”
“No.”
“Loosen up a bit, I’m joking.” She strides confidently toward you, locking eyes and observing the rise and fall of your chest with each labored breath.
“It was nice meeting you, y/n.”
She departed swiftly, her presence lingering like a chilling echo in the room long after she was gone.
The silence that engulfed the space between you and Shuri after Adanna's departure was suffocatingly dense. It echoed with the weight of unanswered questions and unresolved emotions, leaving a void that seemed to amplify with each and every heartbeat and breath that escaped you.
You allowed the silence to linger before stepping up to slap Shuri—a stinging blow that likely hurt you more than it did her, though you refused to show it. Shuri adjusted her jaw slightly from the impact, further fueling your building anger.
“You got something to say?!”
Shuri scoffs and starts to walk away, leaving you feeling as if your skin is melting.
“Hey…hey! I’m talking to you!”
She paces and smashes her table as if it were made of sand. You flinch, almost afraid of her intensity, but you're determined not to show your fear.
“So you turned that bitch but you won’t turn me??”
Finally her eyes meet yours. “Have you lost your damn mind, y/n?”
“Nah, I could ask you the same thing, Shuri! Because what was that?? All of that, what was it?? You gonna talk to me about how your 100 year old ex-girlfriend that apparently died from old age, was just in front of me? As a vampire…Shuri you LIED to me!”
“I did and I do not regret my decision to do so.”
The feeling of hurt and betrayal began to manifest in your body in physical ways, a sharp pain jabbing into your chest as if your heart was physically pierced. Your throat tightened up as a rush of heat and cold scattered through the thinning veins beneath your skin. Your body physically ached for her truth.
“Shuri, what is this?? What are we?? Do you like being in control? Powerful?? Is that it?? You like that your mind games are easier to play on my human brain? I don’t understand!”
“Don’t even start with me right now, y/n. I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re not in the mo—oh…ok. Ok then. I see how it is. Here you go with this bullshit. Explaining to me at your convenience! Leaving me in the dark and for what?! You know what?? I’m not doing this right now. I’m going home.”
“Home?”
“Yeah, that’s what the fuck I said.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, y/n.”
“You gonna stop me??”
“You are not going out there! She could be out there doing god knows what!”
“I’m not scared of her.”
“Well you should be!”
“And why is that, Shuri?? Because she’s a vampire?? Because she kills people?? Last time I checked, so do you. And I’m not afraid of you. Fuck you!”
“You are…fuck…you are pissing me off.”
“Boo hoo.” You roll your eyes, a gesture that pushes Shuri dangerously close to the edge. The last thing she wants is to lose her temper like she did in front of your parents.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Put your shit down, you are not leaving here,” she comments as you start packing your things but you ignore her.
“Y/n…y/n!”
“Fuck off!”
As you're about to leave and reach for the door, she rushes behind you and slams it shut with a bang, blocking your escape.
“Shuri…move.”
“You won’t make me.”
You turn around to face her, finding yourself trapped between the door she has forcefully shut and her imposing figure. Despite her menacing presence, her face betrays a hint of worry, making it challenging for you to maintain your anger.
“Let me go.”
“No.”
You arched your eyebrow, letting out a slight chuckle while Shuri stood puzzled. What could possibly be so amusing to you at this moment?
“If you need company, I’m sure Adanna is wandering around somewhere and since you’ve fucked her brains out too, I’m sure she’s all too willing to come back and give you a mind-blowing night,” you snapped, struggling to conceal your jealousy, though by now, Shuri can easily read you like an open book.
“Now you are just being childish.”
“No. I’m leaving because you’re pissing me off.”
Your second attempt to leave was as successful as the first time, with your back against the door and Shuri's hand gently snaking your throat, careful not to cut off your oxygen intake. In that silent moment, your eyes locked, conveying a power dynamic that both thrilled and frustrated you. As long as you were human, this imbalance persisted; a blend of love and resentment. Even now, Shuri's proximity was irresistible, her scent enveloping you and despite the anger you felt, the strength she had over you went beyond mere physical, vampiric strength.
“Why must you be so difficult?”
Both of you were engulfed in anger towards each other, driven by a mutual fear of losing one another. Your actions appeared selfish and impulsive, but deep down, you both dreaded the thought of being alone, knowing that each other was all you had.
“I’m not being difficult, Shuri. My request is simple. I’m only asking you to turn me.”
“And don’t you think I would have a long time ago if it was the right thing for you?” Her voice was gentle and soothing, a juxtaposition of the rage she felt.
“This is the right thing for me. You are the right thing for me.”
Your eyes softened, and hers mirrored yours. Your breathing picked up immensely and Shuri did not even try to hide her gaze plastered on the way your breasts rose with each sharp breath you took in. Her glare evolved from soft and gentle to intense and purposeful, reflecting the shift from a pure emotional connection to a more primal and physical desire. She was lustful and so were you.
The tension in the air thickened quickly, like a weight settling over the both of you. Unspoken emotions and anticipation hung heavily between you, making every moment feel charged and intense. Gazes lingered longer than they meant to, words became unspoken, and the way Shuri’s palm stayed on your throat made you gulp in desire, wanting her to push your limits like she always does.
“Drink from me.” Your words were tinged with an unmistakable craving for her and you could not help but be slightly embarrassed; how pathetic you were to beg after trying so hard to stay mad at her. “It’s been too long, baby, I need it.”
Her palm sits fairly firm against your windpipe and you inhale sharply as you feel the warmth between your legs dampen.
“I can smell you, princess.”
“See, this is what I mean. This power imbalance between us…it drives me nuts. Nothing is fair between us if you keep this from me.”
Shuri hoists you closer to her by your throat, bringing your lips in for the ghost of a kiss, an exchange of warmth before she fully presses her lips against yours and she moans into your mouth, a sound that nestled so deeply between your thick thighs.
You jump into her arms before she carries you to the bedroom, not once detaching her lips from yours. As she steps foot into the bedroom, she places you roughly on her vanity, clearing space for your plush ass to hit the surface. Shuri tears your clothing aggressively, greedy to see your beautiful body as she leaves you in nothing but your undergarments. You gasp as goosebumps rise to the surface of your skin due to the mix of sudden cold air and her warm touch. It didn’t take long before her hands found your bra and ripped that off too, getting caught in the beauty of your breasts and the way they jiggled with your pretty gasps. For a moment, your eyes connected before her gaze trailed down to the wet patch seeping through your panties and Shuri can’t help but release a condescending laughter.
“I thought you said I pissed you off. But look at you, s’thandwa. You’re so wet. Do you hate me or want me?”
"Both," you exclaimed with a desperate intensity, feeling the anger towards her fueling the fire beneath your skin, expressing just how much you craved her touch.
"Mhmm," she murmured as her hand trailed down to the damp spot between your thighs that grew by the second, creating slow circles with the pad of her thumb and you cried with ache. Shuri adored your soft pleas of desire above all else. While she relished your moaning turning into screams of overwhelming pleasure, it was your gentle whining and whimpering that stirred her vampiric instincts to the brink, challenging her ability to suppress her true nature. You were aware of this, and you reveled in it. You enjoyed pushing her to her limits, knowing she would never physically hurt you.
With care, she slid the thin panties to the side, watching the way your sticky arousal clung to the fabric. She carefully slid a finger down your slit, just enough to be overwhelming yet not quite satisfying enough.
“Oh,” you breathed out as she caressed your beating bud, her lips attacking your throat once again as your fingers cling to the coils on her head.
“I don’t care about a power imbalance…until it comes to this,” she whispered to you, bringing her hands down to your thighs, kneading the flesh before she spread them open a bit more. Her mouth on your throat went from kissing the skin to sucking it, a gesture that was sure to leave bruised marks and your heart quickened at the anticipation of feeling her sink into you.
“Breathe, baby, breathe. Your heart is pounding…why?”
“Please…Shuri…”
“Tell me.”
“Drink my blood. Please, baby, please.”
A crooked smile appeared before she looked for any hint of hesitation in your eyes but there was none to be found. You wanted this, needed it, just as much as she did and that made her turn insatiable, almost afraid that her crave for you would overcome rational thought.
She grabbed your jaw, forcing your gaze up on hers. “You want me to drink from you, y/n?”
You nodded with such urgency that it felt embarrassing. She smirked, lowering her mouth for a fleeting kiss just above the side of your throat. Your heart raced, nearly bursting out of your chest. Yet when she offered only a light kiss without delving deeper, you felt annoyed and disappointed, still craving the satisfaction that had consumed you.
“Please, Sh—,” but you were cut off with a slender finger to your lips, giving you one last peck on your pouted mouth before she gets down on her knees in front of you, placing wet, devoted kisses from your stomach down to the area just above your pussy. Shuri loved dragging you to your release, watching your body flare in desperation made her wet each and every time.
“You know what I love about your human skin?”
"Hmm?" Your thoughts were clouded, making it difficult to speak, and Shuri chuckled softly underneath you.
“I love that I can mark you up. Claim you as mine. As a vampire, you would just heal. Is that what you want?”
You didn’t reply, but simply gazed down at her beautiful curls settled between your thick thighs but Shuri was not pleased, and the way she lightly slapped your pussy over the fabric of your panties proved that.
“Oh,” you stuttered softly to her delicious touch.
“I asked you princess, is that what you want?”
“N-no.”
“Hmmm…that’s what I thought.”
Shuri planted several affectionate kisses on your clit, the final tender gesture before you received what you had been yearning for; the exquisite and familiar sting of Shuri’s fangs piercing your skin only this time, her head was buried between your left thigh, marking her territory with her fangs as she drank the crimson lifesource. The sensation was exhilarating, a familiar mixture of pleasure and pain, the boundaries between the sensations melding into a blurred ecstasy.
“Shuri,” you moaned out, overwhelming her sanity. She quickly detached from you, sending her love in equal measure to your opposite inner thigh, pushing your panties to the side to make room for her fingers to settle beautifully inside you.
“Hold this here,” she demanded, wanting your own fingers to hook the fabric to the side so she could focus on tending to your mind and body. And you complied, holding your panties in place before you felt her sink two fingers into you.
“Unh,” you softly whimpered, spreading your legs to the best of your ability to give your girlfriend more room to continue her work, the duality of her drawing blood from your inner thigh as she pumped into your thumping pussy walls had your heels digging into her back, your own back drawn into a soft arch as you worked her face.
“There’s my girl.”
Her persistent fingers continued their relentless nudging against your sensitive spot. She was cautious not to draw too much blood from you. As you neared climax, she withdrew, returning to meet your face now adorned with a pout, eyes brimming with an eternal longing for her to bring you to completion.
"I was almost there," you complained, your eyebrows softening along with Shuri's, before she swiftly positioned your body to press against hers, your back against her front as your reflections stared back through the vanity mirror. Her lips were stained in a deep red hue and the irises of her eyes matched the tone. It was an image that should have frightened you but it was your favorite look on her, Shuri in her true nature; predator and prey in its most sensual form.
“I know you were, but you know the rules. You cum when I let you cum, understood?”
You nod quickly.
“Good girl.”
Shuri grabs your breasts, kneading them as she kisses the crevice between your shoulder and your throat.
“Shuri…baby…m-more. I need more.”
And with your words, one of her hands travels upwards towards your throat as the other roams south, pushing her fingers beneath your now soaked panties as she skimmed your delicate clit, circling the bud before she dips her fingers into you with the goal to finish what she started.
“You know what else I love about your human body?”
“Hm? Wh-what’s that?”
“Your human breath and how easy it is to just…cut it off.” Her hand clasped your throat firmly, not hard enough to hurt you, but hard enough to make you feel lightheaded. “Can’t do this if you don’t breathe. And I know how much me choking you gets you wet, nkosazana, do you really want that gone?”
You squirmed briefly while she maintained her grip. You looked so beautiful in your helpless state and not once did her fingers relent their persistent and calculated strokes inside you, paying close attention to the way your pussy walls responded to her presence. She had one hand beneath your panties, the other around your neck, pulling constricted whimpers from you as you struggled for air. Your little sounds got to her, and she let you go.
“Aww, you’re ok. You’re gonna let me do it again, right?”
“Yes please, choke me again, Shuri. Please. I’m so close.”
And she does, because why would she deny her love? She clasps your throat once more, your hips canting along with her thrusts, running towards your sweet, sweet release.
“That’s it, baby. Let all your frustrations out. Good girl, let it all out.”
“Sh-Shuri…,” you choked out, pouting at the way you felt your walls tighten in pleasure around your girlfriend’s determined fingers. Shuri releases you, listening to your intake of air before she gently caresses the side of your throat. Her eyes locked with your reflection in the mirror, bracing you for what's to come. She took hold of your throat again, tilting your jaw to the side to expose the same spot she had fed from the first time. The familiar mix of slight pain and intoxicating pleasure surged through you, heightening the sensation of your impending orgasm and hearing Shuri’s soft moans of satisfaction as she drank from you only deepened your bliss. Not once did her fingers halt, her palm grazing your sensitive clit drew you nearer to the end until you let out a high pitched moan that made Shuri’s pussy clench in ache.
“Unh…Shuri, Shuri…yes! Fuck!”
She took one final taste before reluctantly pulling away, but not without struggle. Your blood was like fuel to her, and once she got a taste, it was a challenge to let go and although it should frighten you, it didn’t. Turning to face her, you met her gaze with your drowsy eyes, falling into the depths of her bloodshot irises. She looked unsettlingly beautiful, and in that moment, you realized how much you missed this, how deeply you needed it. The smirk on her blood-stained lips spoke volumes of how much she felt the same.
“You always do so good for me, princess,” she spoke with softness, slipping her cum-coated fingers between your lips as you sucked the remnants of your release off of her. You let go with a wet pop, batting your eyelashes at her before you spoke.
“I love you so much, baby.”
“I love you more.”
As soon as you both finish cleaning and tending to one another, you slip back into a deep sleep, resuming the dream where you left off a few months ago, with the woman in your arms, the one you now know to be named Adanna.
➳ the dream:
The dream setting is the same as before, with Shuri allowing you to experience everything from her perspective, as if you were living it yourself. Once again, Adanna is in your arms, pleading for you to turn her.
“I want you to do it, Shuri. Turn me. Please. I want this.” Her dark brown eyes shimmered with a perfect blend of desperation and love. You were terrified, afraid of crossing your boundaries once more, but the thought of not being with her forever frightened you even more.
"Please," she pleaded one final time before you pressed your lips to hers, savoring the warmth of her human essence before trailing down to her throat, delicately grazing your mouth across her skin and her pulse whispered against your lips. Opening your mouth, you descended, piercing her veins with your teeth and you moaned as her life source flowed into your mouth, embracing the flavor you desperately needed. As you continue to drink from her, your struggle to detach your lips from her throat grows more and more and Adanna becomes frightened, soon coming to realize that she had underestimated your thirst.
“Shuri,” she softly pleads, her mind growing fuzzy as she feels life slowly drift from her. “Shuri, please…you’re hurting me.”
You tried to fight it, but you were lost, intoxicated by the blood as you sank your teeth deeper into the one you loved. Drinking from her was unlike anything else; hunger, love, and lust blurred together and you could not decipher which was which. Her blood brought you the closest you'd ever felt to heaven, your senses heightened and explosive. Yet, in that overwhelming euphoria, you couldn't feel or hear her struggling beneath you, death latching closer and closer to her.
“Shuri…Shuri…it’s too much!”
You thought you could do it, bring her to the brink of death and then feed her your blood to restore her but you could not stop.
“I love you…need you so bad,” you mumbled against her, feeling her lifesource flow through your dead body made you feel more alive than you ever felt.
"SHURI!" she screamed one final time before you felt an enormous impact that sent you flying, landing on your feet as if you were a superhero. He came out of nowhere, a tall man who stood before both you and a dying Adanna. In that moment, you realized the gravity of your actions. You had crossed a line you never intended to, and now the consequences were clear: Adanna, helpless and nearly lifeless, was pleading for the man to save her and take her away from you. It broke your heart to see her so terrified of you.
“A-Adanna??”
"St-stay aw-ay from... me," she said with weakness, gasping as death knocked at her front door. You wanted to help her, to save her, but as you moved towards her, the mysterious man dashed in front of you with a speed that startled even you, revealing his vampire nature. It was evident he had been around for a long time, the first vampire you'd encountered since your maker left you many years ago.
“Let me help her!” You yelled in terror, attempting to fight the much stronger man.
“No,” the man gently stated, as if you were not weeping in fear as the love of your life lay dying as a result of your inability to control yourself. “You will kill her.”
“No…I can do this! Let me go! Let me help her!”
“You have yet to master the art of control. You cannot do this or you will kill her.”
“And she will most certainly die if you do not get your hands off me and let me help her!” You were in a state of panic, more frightened than you ever thought possible, and your heightened vampire senses only intensified your fear and anger.
“Stay a-way…don’t touch m-me…”
“Do you hear that? She does not want you to help her…perhaps it would be better if you let me handle this. Let me take care of her. Let me rid you of the burden of having to turn her yourself and you can be free.”
At that moment, his words made sense. You felt like a burden, and the scent of Adanna’s blood still lingered within you, making you afraid of what you were capable of.
"Let me handle this," he assured once more. It took you a moment, but Adanna was dying, losing blood by the second. With every drop that hit the ground, it became harder for you to resist the urge to go and drink it, to savor her last moments as she slipped away.
"Leave." It was a command, not a suggestion. You took in the sight of her one last time before you ran, seizing this final chance before you lost all control, leaving Adanna and the man behind. That was the last moment you saw her, the last time you held her weak body as you struggled with your instincts. In that moment, you lost all hope. You were doomed, cursed to a life of loneliness. Everything you touched, you destroyed. Everyone you loved died by your hands and you wanted no part of it. You ran and never looked back, fleeing into endless darkness until you finally woke up.
You woke up to darkness, realizing how much you had adapted to Shuri's lifestyle as you drifted off at sunrise. You sensed her presence beside you on the bed, your back turned to her. Taking a moment to process the dream she had shared with you, a window into her past, you turned around. There she was, sitting with her elbows resting on her propped-up knees, her head bowed in shame, struggling to meet your gaze, afraid you would never look at her the same way again. For a moment, you both sat in silence, the sound of your soft breath and the absence of hers filling the room as you pondered what had just witnessed.
“I thought I put that day behind me, but revealing it to you stirred up old memories I wish I had forgotten,” her trembling voice broke the silence. “It’s an indescribable feeling, the all encompassing, wretched, mind-shattering feeling of drinking from someone you love, especially if you are doing it in hopes of turning them.”
The silence settled like a weight in the room, each passing second stretching longer than the last.
“Feeling love as a vampire is much much much harder than any human love, I can assure you. Once you are turned, everything becomes magnified, including human feelings. Love as a human is already too much in itself, as a vampire it’s the most burdening feeling when you constantly crave their blood as well, not wanting to hurt them but wanting a taste…it’s overpowering.”
You sit up in front of her, taking her hands in yours for a gentle kiss.
“The guilt I felt was mind blowing, doing to her the exact same thing my maker did to me. I left her, and left her to him. I had no idea who he was or what his intentions were. I was not thinking clearly at that moment and to be fair, with all her blood rushing through me, there was no way I could think properly. I was out of my mind, high on her blood and thirsty for more.
“At first, I was not sure if she was turned or if she died, and I did not want to find out as both answers frightened me. But once I heard of all the killings that were happening in the city, I figured they were coming from her and I wanted so badly to intervene and help her, be a mentor but what kind of mentor would I be?? I could barely control myself, never mind a new vampire who was abandoned by who she thought was the love of her life. I did not intervene out of fear, and because of that, she is the monster she is now.”
“No…Shuri, you can’t put that on yourself.” And you meant it. How could she place such a burden on herself? “I understand that you feel a sense of obligation to fix her, or be there for her…whatever it is, but Shuri…baby look at me…who she is, is not because of you.”
A small grin graced her face, appreciative of your efforts but did not believe it.
“At the end of the day, Adanna is her own being. Everything she did was a choice she made on her own. And she can blame you or the world or whoever she wants but we are all responsible for our own actions. Life isn’t fair to anybody, but we have to deal with the cards we are dealt with, Shuri. You were abandoned too, baby…remember that.”
She smiled gently, resting her cheek against your cupped hand.
“I remember once she had this crazy idea on turning all the black people in the city of New York into vampires so we could collectively take over colonial powers. It was tempting.”
She chuckled and so did you.
“So…why New York?”
You take the pad of your thumb and gently caress the final tears that escape her.
“You could go anywhere in the world…why some random house just outside New York? You could’ve literally gone anywhere and you chose to be here…”
“I suppose when you hear of a city that never sleeps, that is alive during the night…well which vampire wouldn’t want to go there??”
“Fair point.” You feel a fierce urge to ask her the question, fearful that it might ignite jealousy inside you or resurrect old emotions within her.
“How did you meet her?”
Shuri rose her brow, unsure if this is really what you wanted to hear right now. “Are you sure you wanna hear about my past love life?”
“No, but I can’t help but be a little curious,” you respond with a gentle smile, pecking her plush lips with a kiss before she speaks.
“I went to a speakeasy one night, and she was there singing on the stage. She was so beautiful, singing with one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard and I just could not let her go. That was my mistake, of course. She could have lived a long and fruitful life without me if I just stayed away.”
“Shuri…”
“I’m not a good person, y/n.”
“I don’t believe that. I believe your life was taken from you and you were learning to survive on your own. Everything was a first for you. Loving as a vampire was a first for you. Drinking your lover's blood was a first for you. Turning her, that was your first time. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into. You made mistakes. Big mistakes? Yeah. You fucked up, Shuri. But name me one person who hasn’t.”
“You need to stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Painting me like this pure person, I’m anything but. I’ve done some terrible things, y/n.”
“And we can talk about that later, but I see what you’re trying to do here. You’re trying to scare me away, make me change my mind and it’s not working. I know what I want. I wanna be with you. Forever”
“Uh uh. Not good enough. No way I’m turning you because you love me. What happens if it doesn’t work out for us down the road? And now you’re stuck as a vampire forever. What then?”
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“We don’t know that, y/n. And I’m not saying this because I doubt your love for me or vice versa, I’m saying this because I’ve been around long enough to see how the world works. How people change. How life and circumstances change people.”
“So then what do you want me to say, Shuri?”
“Give me a reason. A real reason as to why you want this and then I can make a decision from there.”
You pause, weighing your many reasons before you speak.
“Ok. How about this…I have nothing to live for. I have no money except my parents' money, and they cut me off. No siblings. No friends. No future.”
“And you want this to be your future?? To live with an everlasting urge to hunt and kill…”
“I’ll choose not to kill.”
“It is not that simple, y/n.”
“Maybe not. But the difference between me and you is you had nobody to teach you. No guidance. No mentor. But I’ll have you. You’ll teach me to be good, I know you will. I trust you, Shuri.”
“Bast…you’re driving me insane.”
“Come on, my love…what are you waiting for?? Don’t you want to be with me…forever?”
“Fuck. Of course I want that. More than anything in the world.”
“Then what’s stopping you??”
“It did not end well for me the last time.”
“It won’t be like that. You can stop.”
“We don’t know that.”
“Maybe not, but I trust you. If you can stop while you’re fucking me then you can stop while turning me.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Shuri, pleaassee. Bring me to my final breath, and then give it back to me. I’ll be strong and free…just like you. I won’t be this fragile, weak thing that you have to worry about all the time. I’ll be able to fend for myself and I won’t be a burden to you anymore.”
“You’re not a burden to me.”
“But I am. Even if you don’t see it. I slow you down, babe.”
Her gaze narrowed, brows furrowing slightly as they peered into the distance, lost in contemplation.
“Plus, I don’t want to grow old while you stay young. It’ll look weird on my part.”
You both laugh and she shakes her head in sympathetic disbelief.
“Soooo is that a yes?”
“Most definitely not a yes.”
“Is it a ‘maybe’?”
“Hmmm…maybe.”
“Well that’s not a ‘no’.”
“I guess it’s not.”
“So we’re getting somewhere??”
She refused to acknowledge it, to admit how you were pulling at the strings of her undead heart. She had never felt so desired, so wanted in her life, not even by Adanna, and it was driving her to madness. She longed for you in every way imaginable, wishing it didn't have to be this way, replacing your breath with one that hungered for blood above all else. Yet, Shuri was always selfish, never one to deny herself what she desired. So, for a fleeting moment, her heart and mind softened, indulging in the realm of possibilities.
“Yes princess…we are getting somewhere.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Several days had passed since the incident, spent in peaceful solitude with Shuri. One evening, you chose to rise a little earlier to catch the sunset. Despite having largely adapted to Shuri’s lifestyle, you remained human, with an innate need for sunlight and its comforting warmth.
You sat on the shore, watching the sunset painting the sky as the day gently faded away. Pastel hues glistened before your eyes, sparking a feeling of wonder and awe. It was a moment for contemplation, a brief respite from life's chaos where time appeared to stand still. As a vampire, you understood you would never have this experience again, and a part of you found solace in that. You were willing to relinquish these small, inherently human moments if it meant freedom from the limitations that came with being one.
Even after the sun fully set, you sat outside for another hour or so, enjoying your own company. You looked back at Shuri's house, finding her silhouette beaming through the window and knowing she was there drew comfort.
“I love you, y/n,” she said to you through her mind, and you smiled, impatient for the day you could telepathically say it back to her.
“I love you, Shuri,” speaking as if she was right next to you but you knew her vampire ears picked it up with ease.
“I love you.” Another voice entered your mind, a mocking one, and it left you utterly confused. It didn’t sound like Shuri’s voice, but who else could it be?
“Did you say something?,” you asked, hoping Shuri would hear you again.
“I did not,” she replied to your mind. “Why do you ask, s’thandwa?”
“Oh nothing…I just thought I heard something.”
“No baby, I said nothing,” she assured once again.
You continue to savor your moment with yourself when an unfamiliar rustling in the trees catches your attention. Startled, you glance around but see nothing. You looked at the window and Shuri wasn’t there anymore. The rustling sounds again.
"Shuri? Shuri, this isn't funny." You knew your girlfriend loved to play games and tease you whenever she had the chance, but now she was nowhere to be found. "Shuri??"
A gust of wind struck your back, accompanied by a dark presence looming over you, forcing goosebumps to rise on your skin.
“You’re still as beautiful as ever.”
Your heart thudded erratically in your chest, a frantic drumroll that seemed to echo through your entire body. It pounded with such intensity that you could feel it in your throat. That all-too-familiar voice that swept through your mind, bringing back memories of darkness and unhappiness, left you in sheer terror. It was impossible. How could this be? But as soon as you doubted, the feeling vanished, replaced by the unmistakable sensation of rough, clammy hands skimming your shoulders, making your body shudder in fear.
“Turn around my love. Let me see your pretty face,” he whispered into your ear and you complied, coming face to face with him; the man you hated beyond the hatred you’ve ever felt for anyone.
Jonathan.
Only now his face seemed harsher and more sinister; his eyes glowed a vivid, unsettling red, like twin embers burning with insatiable hunger. Your first instinct was to run, but you knew better. There was no way a human could outrun a vampire. So, you stood frozen in your spot as he extended his fangs.
“You’re probably wondering where Shuri is, right? Why hasn’t she come to your rescue…?? She’s rather…occupied at the moment with her first love. Who gave me permission to kill you if Shuri even dares to come save you.”
You say nothing.
“But that’s the problem, y/n. I don’t want to kill you…I just want you.”
He reaches out to graze your face, and you dodge his touch; something you never would have dared to do when you were with him, fearing his reaction. But now, you are filled with anger with no outlet. How dare Shuri lie to you again? You felt manipulated and used, as if she had deceived you to win you over, treating you like a pawn in her own little vampire game.
Jonathan cocks his head at the action, shocked at how you so easily avoided his touch.
“I see your time with your little dyke has made you forget your manners.”
“Go to hell.”
He smirked so deviously, like the human Jonathan you used to pretend to love but even now, you could feel how becoming a vampire has heightened the terrible person he already was even before his transformation.
“I’m going to find Shuri,” but as you walked away, his vampire speed blocked you once again in a millisecond and your heartbeat quickened.
“Get out of my way,” you whisper in malice, your eyes buried into his scarlet ones as you pretend to not be afraid. But as soon as he gripped your arm with sheer vampire force, one that could have snapped your bone if he had gripped any harder, you yelled.
“Let go of me!”
“I swear to god, if he hurts you, I’ll rip him to fucking pieces!,” she spoke to your mind, and even though you could not directly hear her words, her fear for you was still utterly discernible. But that moment of ease washed away as soon as you and Jonathan both heard intense crashing and banging coming from inside the house; sounds that made you fear for Shuri’s immortal life.
“Shuri!!”
“Hold on baby, I’m coming for you.”
Shuri burst through the door with Adanna right behind her, the two of them locked in a vicious physical fight as they sped toward you with such velocity, it seemed as though they were floating rather than running. Both bore scars on their faces and bodies, healing rapidly, but you hardly noticed in the midst of their chaos. Before you could comprehend what was happening, Shuri lunged toward Jonathan with nothing but the intention to destroy him. With her years of experience, she could easily overpower him—but Adanna intercepted her, stepping between the two of them. Shuri tried to push past, but Adanna had grown stronger over the years. The entire scene was terrifying, three sets of eyes glowing and fangs bared.
Shuri is consumed by rage, too blinded by her fury to notice little ol’ you trembling in the corner. Her only focus is tearing Jonathan apart. The three vampires clash violently, with Shuri's power overwhelming Jonathan, who looks bewildered as he struggles to defend himself. Adanna, nearly as strong as Shuri, fights fiercely to protect him, their movements a blur of speed and raw strength.
You stood frozen in terror, your fear for Shuri's safety overwhelming you more than anything. Desperate, you screamed her name, and in an instant, the chaos ceased. All three pairs of eyes turned toward you, but only Shuri truly felt the depth of your fear. Her anger immediately drained from her, and her blood-red eyes faded back to their dark brown, her fangs retracting as she softened. She ran toward you, but as she drew closer, you instinctively backed away. Jonathan made a move to follow, but Adanna held him back, her curiosity piqued by what was about to unfold.
Shuri's heart broke at the subtle gesture of you backing away from her. You were just as terrified of her now as you had been when she first revealed her true nature, and she could sense it. The pain in her eyes was unmistakable, and in that moment, she realized how deeply the fear had taken root.
“Y/n? B-baby what’s wrong?”
“You lied to me,” you whispered to yourself, but of course her ears heard you perfectly. You looked so small and helpless, curling into yourself.
“What?? Baby, no. I didn’t lie to you. I’m just as shocked as you are.”
"Stop lying!" you screamed, your voice trembling as you felt yourself losing control. Shuri's face was etched with shock, while Adanna looked on with a knowing smirk. “All you have done since the moment we met was a lie!”
“No! No nkoszana, I’m telling the truth!”
Shuri reached out to touch you, but Jonathan moved to hold her back. In an instant, Shuri had him in a chokehold, a position where she could decapitate him easily if she wished. Adanna mirrored her actions with you, gripping you firmly. She clicked her tongue and waved her finger in a silent gesture of warning.
“Let her go, or I’ll kill him!”
“You first.” Adanna tightened her grip on you, applying more pressure to intimidate Shuri, causing you pain. You whimpered in her hold, pleading for her to let go.
“Adanna…”
“Let. Him. Go.”
“What do you want, huh? Why have you come back? After all these years, why are you here tormenting me?”
Adanna smirked, then roughly tossed you to the ground, the impact nearly knocking the wind out of you. As you struggled to catch your breath, Shuri kept a firm grip on Jonathan, who looked terrified for his life. Slowly, Adanna approached him, her eyes cold as she scanned the fear etched across his face.
“I turned him.”
Shuri stood silent in confusion.
“I saw you that day, you took him out here in the middle of nowhere thinking you were safe. I saw you drain the life out of him, but you didn’t actually kill him…and there was your mistake. You left him for dead, had you drank anymore from him, he would have died. But you didn’t. You just…left him there. To wither away with his thoughts, ran away from the crime scene you invented and I came in…and saved him.”
“A quick death would have been too easy for him. He deserved to suffer.”
“Why? Because of how he treated her??,” she says in disgust. “What makes her more deserving than me??”
“So this is what it is about?? Revenge?? I know I hurt you Adanna and that is something I have to live with for the end of time but your anger will not change the situation!”
“Maybe not…but it will make me feel better.”
Adanna moved with terrifying precision, driving a thick stick into your side with a swift, calculated thrust. The pain was searing, a torment that seemed to stretch on endlessly, enough to potentially kill you slowly, but not immediately. The world around you twisted into a blur as the pain took hold of you.
You remembered Shuri’s anguished reaction, even through the haze of your suffering. She let go of Jonathan immediately, racing to your side with a desperate urgency. Jonathan, unable to resist the overwhelming scent of your blood, stumbled after you but Shuri anticipated his move, intercepted him by driving a thick stick into him with equal force. Although it didn't pierce his heart, it was enough to weaken him drastically, sending him sprawling to the ground; his new vampire strength unable to withstand the attack.
Your memories were fragmented and disjointed; fleeting images of Shuri crying out for help as she held your limp body in her arms, the echo of chaotic footsteps in the hallways, and blinding flashes of light as everything around you dissolved into a painful blur.
“What was the incident??”
“I-I don’t know, she just…” Shuri's panicked cries fade into the background as you struggle to cling to life.
“Send her to the E.R.!”
"Stay alive, my love. Please don’t make me turn you this way," her voice echoed in your mind, compelling you to fight to stay alive. You struggled until everything around you went silent, enveloping you in a deep, profound slumber that brought you into a dreamlike state. You found yourself free, transcending the limits of your mortal existence. You were powerful and flawless, feeling an exhilarating strength that made you believe you could conquer anything. The world outside was cloaked in darkness, but you felt no fear. Instead, you felt invincible, where every shadow and obstacle seemed insignificant against your newfound strength. Your senses were heightened; the night air was crisp and alive with possibilities, and you reveled in the freedom and dominance that being reborn gifted you.
You drifted. And drifted. And drifted. Into an inevitable nothingness; claiming you for what seemed like an eternity.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
You had been confined to bed for a while, the painkillers draping you in a shroud of sleep. Gradually, consciousness nudged at you, and you fought to pry your eyes open against the blinding whiteness of hospital lights. As your surroundings started to come into focus, a sharp gasp escaped you, accompanied by a stabbing pain in your side; lingering reminders of your wounds. A gentle breeze brushed past, and you turned to see Shuri swiftly by your side of the hospital bed. Her presence was peace to your weary soul, her eyes filled with relief and affection, warming you even as your mind struggled to fully awaken.
“A-am I a vampire now?,” were your first words as you fought the effects of the heavy medications.
Shuri chuckles, tears rolling down her eyes as she plants the firmest kiss to your forehead. “Nurse! She’s awake!”
“Shuri…what happened??”
“It’s okay baby…you’re ok now, you are going to be ok. I love you so much, do you know that? Please say you know that…”
In a fleeting instant, the memories surged back, crashing over you like a tidal wave. The faces of Jonathan and Adanna flickered in your mind, their actions replaying with a vividness that made your breath catch. You could almost feel the crushing weight of terror that overcame you, the harrowing brush with death that had nearly consumed you. It was as if you were reliving the torment all over again as you struggled to grasp the reality around you. The emotional sting is almost as painful as the physical one, as though it might pull you under once more.
“Why didn’t you turn me?”
Shuri stayed quiet, her brows knitting together in a wordless expression.
“Let’s talk later princess…the nurse should be here shortly.”
After a series of tests and a checkup, you were finally cleared to leave. As you settled into the wheelchair and were brought to the car, you noticed a stain of dried blood on the passenger's seat, a haunting reminder of that day’s events. The car ride home was quiet, tension thick in the air but the moment you arrived, Shuri used her vampire speed to grab the wheelchair and bring it to you before you could even open the door.
“I don’t need that,” you scoffed.
“S’thandwa, do not be stupid. Sit in the chair.”
“No, I’m not a cripple. I can do this myself.”
“Y/n…”
“I said no.”
There’s a brief pause before she smirks, then suddenly scoops you up, cradling you in her arms as if you weighed nothing. You let out a startled yelp as she lifts you effortlessly.
“You want to be stubborn? Fine, be that way.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, one you tried to suppress, hoping she wouldn’t notice. But, of course, she did. Nothing ever slipped past her.
As you entered the room, she carefully laid you down on the bed, her touch gentle and reassuring. She leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before settling beside you. Silence shook the room once more, but your mind was anything but quiet. Thoughts swirled in an endless stream, each one begging for attention, leaving you unsure of where to even begin unraveling them.
“I’m so so so sorry, y/n,” Shuri mutters. “I should have never brought you into this. This was my fault. And now they are both out there, bast knows where, most likely scheming against me which most likely involves hurting you because she hates how much you mean to me.”
You remain silent, letting it all sink in. A lone tear slips down your cheek, soaking into the fabric of the pillow beneath you.
“So why didn’t you turn me then?” Your voice was broken and bruised, beaten by what seemed like Shuri’s innate fear to make her like you. She turns around to face you, but your gaze remains on the empty ceiling. “It was the perfect opportunity. You could have just let me bleed out a little longer, pull me to the brink of death and then turn me.”
“Because that is what she wanted, princess. She wanted me to turn you in hopes that I would have the same fate with you as I did with her.”
“So what? Does she want you back or something? What does she want from me?”
“She wants revenge. She hates to see me happy after what I had done to her. She cannot fathom me being with the person I love while she rots in anger.”
You scoff, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Well she’s dumb and needs to get a hobby.”
Shuri softly chuckles before speaking. “I also did not turn you because that’s not how I wanted it to happen.”
“What?”
“If I would have turned you right then and there, it would not have been because that was your choice. It would have been because of unfortunate circumstances and that is not fair to you. When I turn you, I atleast owe you that luxury I was never given.”
You struggled to process the words spilling from her mouth, disbelief tightening in your chest. Slowly, you turned to face her, your movements deliberate as you drew in a few deep breaths, trying to steady the ache building within you.
“Shuri…?” You had to make sure you were hearing correctly.
“This was never my intention, to let it get to this point. You were beautiful, and I was simply tired of being alone, and I selfishly took it upon myself to weave myself into your life and now we are here. I guess it was bound to happen.”
“Shuri, what are you saying??”
For a moment, she lay there, caught in the disbelief of the words she was about to speak, as if hesitating to give them life. She reaches out to caress your cheek, eyes locking in an instant and her gaze softened before she said the words you craved since the moment you truly knew her.
“You leave me no choice, my beautiful princess, but to turn you.”
A wave of beautiful relief washed over you, lifting the weight that had burdened your heart for so long. You felt as light as a cloud, as if, for the first time, everything might actually be okay. Shuri pulled you close, your face nestled against her chest as silent sobs shook your body. She understood immediately that these weren’t tears of sadness, nor were they tears of joy. They were tears of overwhelming relief.
Life had not been kind to you. People had walked all over you, leaving you feeling small, helpless, incapable of standing on your own. But Shuri was different. She made you feel like you were worth something, like you were worth fighting for. All you had ever wanted was to be free; nothing more, nothing less. And Shuri knew this. She felt it in the way your tears soaked into her shirt, as if the warmth of your need could breathe life into her dead beat heart. You needed this. You needed her. And she needed you too.
“I know baby…I know. I’m so sorry.”
You sobbed into her, inhaling her comforting scent into you, the scent you wished to breathe in for the rest of eternity.
“I’m so sorry I made it so hard for you to convince me. It’s not that I did not want to be with you forever…I was just so afraid.”
You lifted your face up to hers, her beautiful tear stained face locked in yours.
“I know, Shuri. It’s ok. I understand you.”
This was all you needed: a moment of comfort so profound that it felt as though it could last forever. And you yearned for it to be timeless, untethered by the fleeting time of your human days, existing beyond the limits of mortal time.
Weeks went by, and with each passing day, you grew stronger, your body healing and regaining its strength. Through it all, Shuri stayed by your side, every step of the way. She encouraged you to savor the human experience for as long as you could, and you agreed, finding joy in the small, everyday moments before they slipped away. Life felt more peaceful than it had in a long time, and Shuri was every bit a part of it.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“I’m ok now, love,” you giggled, as Shuri scooped you up in her arms.
“I know, I just get so worried about you.”
About 2 months have passed since the incident, and you were feeling much better. Here you were, in Shuri’s arms as she carried you to the bedroom like a princess. Your human lungs still drew in breath, and your heart continued to beat as you waited patiently for Shuri to fully bring you into her world.
When you both lied on the bed, you got the urge to try something. You straddled her, startling her as you took her mouth into yours. It had been so long since you had her, and you knew she resisted out of fear in hurting you but you missed her. Missed her touch and missed the way she made your body feel. But Shuri quickly detached from your lips and you whimpered at the hurtful act.
“No. Not yet. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please…please just let me,” you pleaded in desperation.
“I said no”
“Why?? Stop acting like I’m easily shattered. We used to fuck so good and everyday I go without touching you…tasting you…I literally lose my mind. I know you’re afraid and seeing me like how I was when I was hurt probably scarred you but I am not a child. I can take care of myself and right now…I want you. All of you. I miss you. I miss your gorgeous, sexy body and I miss feeling you inside me.”
She raised a brow.
“Don’t you miss me?”
She gazed intently into your soft eyes and your pouting lips, shaking her head with a playful sigh. She leaned her forehead into yours before she spoke.
“More than anything, my love.”
“Then what are you waiting for??”
Shuri hesitated, but her feelings of love and desire burned even stronger, overwhelming her uncertainty.
“Just this one time.”
“Just this one time,” you repeated. Your lips met slowly at first, the hesitation giving way to a rush of heat. She gripped the back of your neck to pull her closer, deepening the kiss until it felt like you two were breathing the same air. The world around you fell away, as you rekindled that fire that had not been burned in so long.
It did not take long for clothing to start coming off, shirts being removed first from the both of you as you lay on top of her. You pull her pants off so she’s in her undergarments only, slotting your knee between her pretty thighs until it comes in contact with her pussy that was pounding with a rush of pleasure. In no time, she begins to whimper, rubbing herself against you as your parted mouth swallows her moans. She looked so beautiful like this, caught in a desperate longing for more of you and no matter how hard she tried, she could never resist you.
“S-s’thandwa,” she stuttered, clearly nearing her peak as her movements grew more frantic. But you pulled yourself away from her, a sly smirk spreading across your face as you pushed her closer to the edge of madness.
“Want you to finish inside me,” you coaxed, whimpers caught in the back of your throat as you felt the warmth between your thighs flutter in ache. And that was all the confirmation she needed. She flipped you around with her vampire speed, testing the waters to see if you were ok and you were. She smiles and kisses your nose before she goes down to your mouth which quickly becomes the valley between your breasts before she wraps her mouth equally around each sensitive nipple.
“Please.” You struggled to hold back the subtle urge to beg, but being deprived of her touch for so long made your body impatient, eager to know what she had planned to do with it.
“Are we begging already, nkosazana?,” she teased with that amused expression that always had your heart pounding and it made you so embarrassed because you just knew she could hear it. You shook your head in challenge, trying to calm your whines but as soon as you felt her remove your bottoms, all the thin patience withered away. She kissed your inner thighs, plush lips meeting the scars she left from that day she marked you there and your chest was heaving.
“You should see how fucking wet you are right now…all because you need my touch that bad?”
“B-baby…please.”
“Use that mouth you love to run so much, princess. Tell me what you want.”
She inhaled your scent before planting soft kisses to the swell of your clit and your body trembled at the touch. But you knew she was not going any further until you spoke.
“Need you, baby…I want you inside me…please.”
“That’s a good girl. My needy little princess.” You nodded, because that is exactly who you were.
Your girlfriend smiles at you, her eyes dancing as they meet your desperate gaze. Shuri rose to her feet, abs all on display before removing her boxers and reaching for the vibranium toy she adored using on you. Shuri wasted no time, her eagerness clear as she longed to stretch your tight pussy walls. She grabs hold of your jaw, pressing her lips firmly against yours with sincere passion before she holds her shaft and pushes it into your leaking hole, your pulsing walls welcoming her in with ease while you both let out the filthiest moans into each other's mouths.
“I missed you, I missed you and your pussy so fucking much,” she whispered, her pace quickening as your cries grew louder. Your body shuddered violently against hers, overwhelmed by the intensity of her gaze, which made you squirm beneath her. Shuri's love for you was overbearing, and you felt the same for her. You longed for this moment to last forever. She dreamed of the days where she no longer had to be a vampire's gentle touch when having her sexual way with you, imagining how wonderful sex would be when she could fully express her body’s need for yours without the fear of breaking you.
“Just wait until I turn you, nkosazana. I will fuck you so good without destroying you.”
“You could do it now,” you playfully replied through your heavy panting. “F-fuck me like a true vampire right now…I d-don’t care if you b-break me.”
“You are fucking crazy, s’thandwa sam.”
“You love it though.”
“Yeah…yes I do, baby.”
You could only whimper in response, your eyes glistening with want and desire as she continued to push into you. It didn’t take long for you to reach your first orgasm. Or your second. Or even your third. You missed her deeply, and your pussy ached for her even more. Yet Shuri didn't pause, her thrusting never haltered because she knew that her favorite part was a few strokes away. She relished in overstimulating you, watching as your body quivered, breasts bouncing as you struggled to be good for her. And your girlfriend could always tell when you were; the way your eyes would go glossy, your lips pouting as you breathing picked up, grappling to put coherent words together. And you did it all for her. That was what she cherished most…the way you fought against the overwhelming pleasuree because of your love for her.
A tear escaped your eye and Shuri brushed it away with the pad of her thumb.
“Awww, my poor baby. Look at you…you're so helpless.”
“Sh-Shuri…”
“Yes?”
“W-want your c-cum inside me. P-please. Unh.”
“I’m right behind you s’thandwa, do not w-worry.”
She kept going, not too fast because she knew you were overstimulated, but enough to allow you to maintain it and bring you both to the finish line. Your orgasm washed over you like tidal waves do, an intense surge of pleasure that left you both breathless and disoriented. Every nerve in your body seemed to ignite, it was an explosion from within that had nowhere to land and your mind could only think of one thing: how you desired this, desired her more than you ever wanted anything else in your entire being. You could not wait any longer. Not another week, or day, or even another hour. You needed this, now and infinitely.
“I want you,” you whispered with big, doe eyes. Your voice trembled as tears clung to your dark, damp lashes streaked with the evidence of your longing. She put her fingers in her mouth, salivating those dangerous fingers of hers before bringing them down your body to circle your puffy clit and your body jerked up. Oh, how she loved to see you like this.
“Mhmm, keep going.”
“I want you forever, Sh-Shuri. Right here. Right now.”
She wore a look of confusion, her brows furrowing as she continued to rub you. She was right here with you and had no intention of leaving, but you proceeded with your unfinished statement.
“Turn me, baby. Please. Today. Now.”
She said nothing, only looked down at your plump lips and your round breasts. You were so beautiful in her eyes, and she wanted all of you.
“Princess—“
“No…I mean it. I want you. F-fuck…I w-want to be a v-vampire…with you. Oh.”
“You don’t know me.”
“But I do.”
“Who am I to you?” She slowed her movements on your clit, her strap still lingering inside you as she awaited your words. You whimpered one last time before you inhaled to speak.
“You are the most fucking selfish being I’ve ever met. You want what you want and you go after it. You get angry quickly and I know you live everyday fighting the urge to suck every ounce of blood inside of me and it scares me sometimes when I really think about it but I also know you’ll never hurt me. I know you’re hurt and I know you carry a lot of pain and anger inside of you, Shuri. And I know you try to hide it from me to protect me but your transparency only makes me want you more, no matter how dark your past is. I know you love me and I truly do believe that because I’ve never felt this before. I never felt so wanted and desired beyond what I look like on the outside. And maybe I’m just as selfish as you, because no matter how many people you’ve hurt or how many lives you’ve taken, you love me. And that’s all I care about. And now I just want to be with you for eternity.”
As the words fell from your lips, a wave of warmth surged through Shuri’s undead heart and she swears she felt it beat for a second. Each word and syllable echoed through her vampire mind, a mind that knew loneliness and despair like no other but in came you, the light at the end of the tunnel and she swears she could die from how much she loved you.
"Turn me," you repeated one last time, your voice carrying a soft insistence rather than a question. You caught a fleeting change in the color of Shuri's eyes, though she quickly masked it but you definitely noticed the subtle shift.
She returns her love to your clit, pulling you into your final human orgasm before she pulls out of you and you leak everywhere.
“I love you so so so much, y/n. More than anything in the world. More than I ever loved anyone before and I did not think I was capable of loving harder than I already have, but you, my most perfect girl, have proved me wrong.”
“I know Shuri…I know.” And you believed it.
“And you’re sure you want this? You want it right now? There is no turning back. This is permanent. This is for as long as eternity lasts for us. I don’t think you think you quite understand the meaning of immortality. ”
“And I never will if you don’t give it to me.” You reached up to cup her face, taking her in as you actively appreciated the pain of your beating heart. You could sense that these would be the last moments you could feel the patter against your ribcage, feel the breath entering your lungs, and the last moment you would feel at a human level before your emotions exploded like any immortal would.
Shuri removes her strap, so there’s nothing between your two beautiful dark naked bodies, holding you in her arms as a tear caresses her cheek.
“What’s wrong, my love?,” you questioned.
“Nothing is wrong…I’m just scared.”
“You have nothing to be afraid of. I believe in you. You can do this. You love me enough to stop.”
“But what if I don’t stop? I would not be able to live with myself…what if I hurt you??”
You gazed up at her with a look of sympathy, fully aware of how difficult this moment was for her but your belief in her remained unwavering. Gently, you drew her closer and pressed your lips to hers in a tender kiss before speaking.
“Then I’ll die happily in the arms of the one I love.”
Shuri's grin widened as she drew you in for one last, fervent kiss; a final, passionate exchange between human and vampire. This was the last moment you shared as a mere mortal before her fangs emerged, her irises shifting to the deepest red you had ever seen and you smiled at what was to come.
She leaned her head into the curve of your throat, pressing a soft kiss there before positioning her fangs above your artery, which seemed destined for her bite. Then, you felt it; her fangs piercing your skin with a depth that was unfamiliar and excruciating. Her bite wasn’t the bite of sexual pleasure or even to satiate her thirst; this was a transformative pain, a profound shift as she began to mold you into something like her.
You clung to her curls, tilting your head back to embrace the searing pain and the sensation of your life ebbing away with every second. Shuri reveled in the intimacy of the moment, her moans vibrating against your throat as your blood flowed into her. As you approached the brink of nothingness, stars danced in your fading vision, and death almost seemed to beckon with open arms. Almost. For a moment, there was nothing. No sensation, no sight, just darkness as you drifted into unconsciousness.
But then, you tasted it: Shuri’s blood. It was rich with power and possibility, a final, potent essence that completed your transition. As your life slipped away, all that remained was the true void, the absolute nothingness as your life faded away from you.
A few moments had passed and Shuri began to worry.
“Y/n…? Y/n…can you hear me??”
But you remained silent. Your mind ceased to think, your lungs no longer drew in air, and your heart fell still. You were dead.
“Oh…oh fuck…no, no, no, no, no…Y/N!! Baby, can you hear me?? Do not joke with me right now…please wake up!”
You were still. Nothing. Lifeless.
Shuri broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, her hand pressed to her mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle the convulsive cries tearing through her throat. How could this be? She had done everything right this time. She was certain she hadn’t killed you; she had felt your heart faintly beating when she gave you her blood. What could have possibly gone wrong?
“I am so sorry, baby…I’m so sorry, I should have never come into your life! I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU ALONE!! I’m so sorry, so sorry, so so sorry!”
Her sobs turned into a furious outburst as she began to tear apart her house, shattering everything in her way while she wrestled with her own existence. Overwhelmed by guilt and despair, she felt she could never forgive herself for what had happened. Consumed by the conviction that life without you was meaningless, she was determined to end it all.
But…
Gradually, life began to draw you out of the void. Memories of your entire existence, from infancy to the present, surged before you in a torrent of vivid images, both the good and the bad. The light at the end of the tunnel grew nearer and nearer until, suddenly, it stopped. You were there. You were here. Your eyes flew open in panic, and the first thing that hit you like an excruciating ton of bricks was the one thing that made you understand what Shuri fought so hard to keep you away from, an overpowering wave of something you never knew but your body understood: the smell of blood. ❁ཻུ۪۪♡
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Twilight who????? If you actually read that whole thing, I love you so much omg! I hope you enjoyed and don’t forget to comment and share (why do I sound like a YouTuber), I absolutely love reading your comments! Thank you so so much again, for your patience, I know it was a long as wait and I hope it was worth it :)
138 notes · View notes
anniebeemine · 9 days
Note
Would it be okay to ask for a BAU!reader who was in like an early relationship with Spencer where she got the opportunity to have a breast reduction (like she had D cups) and wanted to go to like an A or B cup since she has to run quite a bit and it just HURT and explained to spencer shyly that she's getting the op for her health bur is nervous about him breaking up with her because of it, but he just wants her to be happy and healthy and wants to take care of her while recovering?
You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at your reflection. The weight of the decision you’d made sat heavy on your shoulders, but not nearly as heavy as the physical pain you'd been carrying for years. As a BAU agent, you had to be in top shape, and running after suspects with D cups had become unbearable. The aches, the discomfort during physical activities, and the constant strain on your back—it was too much. You needed this surgery for your health.
But that didn’t make it any less nerve-wracking.
The door creaked behind you, and Spencer walked in, his presence immediately calming, though you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety. You hadn’t told him yet. The two of you were still in the early stages of your relationship, and while everything felt like it was falling into place, there was still the lingering fear of how he’d react.
Would this change things?
"Hey," he said softly, his arms wrapping around your waist from behind as he rested his chin on your shoulder. "You’ve been quiet today. Something on your mind?"
You swallowed, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “Yeah, actually… there is.” Turning around in his arms, you took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. You’d gone over this conversation in your head a hundred times, but now that it was happening, the words felt heavier.
Spencer’s brows furrowed with concern as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“I know,” you said, your voice soft. “I just... I’ve been thinking about something for a while now. About my chest.”
That caught his attention, and he stood up straighter, his hand resting gently on your arm. “What is it? Are you okay?”
You nodded, quickly reassuring him. “Yes, I’m okay. It’s just... I’ve decided to get a breast reduction.”
Spencer’s expression shifted from concern to understanding as you explained further. “I’ve had back pain for years, Spencer, and it’s only gotten worse with all the physical work we do. Running, chasing suspects, training—it hurts. A lot. And it’s not just that... it’s everything. I’ve been thinking about this surgery for a long time, and I finally got the opportunity to do it.”
He was silent for a moment, his eyes searching yours. You felt a lump form in your throat as you added, “But I’m nervous. Not just about the surgery, but... about you. I don’t know how you’ll feel about me after. I mean, I’m going down to an A or B cup, and I just... I’m worried it’ll change things between us.”
Spencer’s eyes softened, and before you could continue rambling, he cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing your cheek. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice full of warmth. “Nothing’s going to change between us. If this is what you need to feel better, to be healthy and comfortable, then that’s what matters. I love you for you, not because of... that.”
You let out a shaky breath, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.
Spencer’s hand moved to rest on your waist, and he pulled you closer. “I know this is a big decision, and it’s understandable to be nervous. But I’m here, okay? I’ll be with you every step of the way. I’ll take care of you while you’re recovering. You won’t have to worry about anything.”
His words were so sincere, so full of love and understanding, that you felt your heart swell. You had worried for so long about what he would think, but here he was, reassuring you that all he wanted was for you to be happy and healthy.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” you whispered, wrapping your arms around him.
“I just want you to feel good,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’ve been in pain for too long, and if this surgery is what you need to fix that, then I’m all for it.”
You leaned into his embrace, feeling the weight of your worries lift. He’d take care of you—physically and emotionally—through this. You had never been so sure of how much he cared for you, and in that moment, you knew that your relationship was only going to grow stronger, no matter what changes lay ahead.
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crashbutmean · 2 months
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she comes to you timidly declaring she doesn't like her large breasts, and she plans to get a breast reduction, and you condescendingly explain to her that oh sweetheart, you don't need that, don't be silly. Girls are prettier with big tits, after all, and you're such a busty and curvy woman! You have such gorgeous tits, look at them! Lemme bounce them a little. Look at that, they're so beautiful, how can you not love them?
Yes I know they hurt your back and people stare and boys grope you and their size makes you hate your body--those are good things, and you should love your great big tits! It's a sign of your femininity, and no man will want you if they're smaller.
Besides, you're going to be pregnant soon, and then they'll swell up like crazy, then what would the point of that surgery be then? Promise me you'll drop these silly notions about "my tits are too big"?
Atta girl💕
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whump-tr0pes · 5 months
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Honor Bound 6 - 27
This is a series. Start here, continued from here.
This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.
AO3
Masterlist
Contents: themes of self-harm, harm reduction, imperfect recovery, PTSD, tattooing, piercings, themes on nonconsensual tattoos and branding, angst
~
“Come into town with me,” Sam said, looking right at Isaac over the breakfast table.
Isaac’s hand tightened in a fist around his cereal spoon. “Um…” He glanced at Gavin, who sat next to him. Gray had already eaten breakfast hours ago and was out on a walk.
Isaac’s scars stung. He was going to… not use his knife, he wasn’t going to do that after breakfast, he told himself he wasn’t. But his skin itched and he needed to do something. He had been planning on holding an ice cube after breakfast until it disappeared into water, dripping off his fingers.
He cleared his throat and tried again. “What’s in town?”
A faint flush warmed Sam’s cheeks, and a smile tugged at their lips. “Zachariah did some asking around, and it turns out one of the guys who lives in town used to be a tattoo artist, back down south. Zachariah is going in today to, uh… get his tattoo covered up.”
“Oh,” Isaac said softly. He chewed his lip and kept his gaze from flicking to Gavin with sheer will alone. “His…” He motioned at his own shoulder with the spoon in his hand.
Sam nodded solemnly. “His Stormbeck crest, yeah.”
Isaac’s brow furrowed. “How would they cover that up? It’s… huge. And dark black.”
“I don’t know,” Sam said with a shrug. “But apparently the guy said he could do it. And I wanted to go, to support Zachariah. I figured you might come with me.” Their gaze shifted to Gavin’s. “Both of you?”
“That sounds nice, Isaac,” Gavin said gently, sliding his hand into Isaac’s free one. “But if you, um… need a break after last night—”
“No,” Isaac snapped. The embarrassment of Vera’s gaze and words hadn’t faded, but he was fucking sick of being the one having to be babied. Not after what Gavin had been through. Not after what Gavin had survived – after what he nearly hadn’t survived. Isaac wasn’t going to be the reason Gavin stayed inside, away from the sun and air and grass, because he was fucking embarrassed.
He shuddered and carefully put his spoon down. When he looked up at Gavin and Sam in turn, they were looking up at him in concern – or perhaps something deeper than concern. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he ground his teeth against the shame that prickled where their gazes touched him. His throat worked and he made his shoulders relax.
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I hate being this on edge.”
“We know,” Sam responded without hesitation – but without judgement, too.
Isaac offered them a tentative smile. He squeezed Gavin’s fingers and glanced between him and Sam. “I appreciate you being concerned. Both of you. But… I’ll be okay. I think it would be better, actually, if… if you both believe I’ll be okay. And…” He returned his gaze to Gavin’s, and his smile grew warmer. “And we should get you outside as much as possible. Get some color in those cheeks before winter comes.”
Gavin laughed and drew his hand through his short-cropped hair. “Vera did say I look so white now I may as well be a ghost.”
“Damn, Vera,” Isaac muttered.
“She meant it as a joke,” Gavin said, still smiling. “I wasn’t hurt by it.”
“I know,” Isaac replied. But maybe she could wait until I stop seeing you dead in my nightmares before she starts joking about it? He pulled Gavin’s thin hand to his lips and kissed the bony knuckles.
“So… yes?” Sam said, giving them both a thumbs up. “Tattoo guy? Zachariah? Sound good?”
“Sounds good,” Isaac said with a nod. “Gavin?”
“You know I’m always interested in going into town,” Gavin said with a grin, and in that moment, Isaac’s heart swelled to bursting. There was Gavin, his old self – perhaps not his old self, but his true self, the way Isaac had seen him in the few months they had had together before Gavin had been taken – radiant and mischievous and sweet. In that wide, contented grin, the pain and fear had fallen away from Gavin’s face, the circles under his eyes faded, and the scars stretched until they were pale again. Isaac’s throat tightened and he drank in the sight of the thing he hadn’t truly believed he would ever see again: Gavin safe, home, and happy.
The intensity of Isaac’s attention made Gavin blush. “What?” he said, his smile growing wider.
“Just… looking at you,” Isaac murmured. His own face flushed and he looked away. “Sorry.” He glanced at Sam. They stared at him, grinning too. “What?”
“Nothing,” Sam said with a chuckle. “It’s really nice to see you two back together, is all.”
Isaac flushed deeper and snatched his spoon up off the table. “Yeah,” he said, and scooped up a bite of cereal. “Let’s finish up breakfast so we can head into town.”
“Sounds good to me,” Sam said. “I can’t wait to see what Zachariah is gonna get.”
Isaac didn’t know what he found more intriguing: the man’s tattoos, or his piercings. Isaac had seen all kinds of piercings before on the team’s missions – rings all over the ears, in nostrils, in lips, in eyebrows, in nipples – but he had never seen, or at least noticed, anyone who had pieces of metal seemingly embedded in their skin like the tattoo artist did. And he had them all over his face – on his dimples, cheekbones, and above his eyebrows. Isaac couldn’t stop staring.
The man seemed to notice. He gave Isaac a long glance, which had him shifting his gaze down sheepishly. When the man turned his attention to Zachariah, Isaac used the distraction to look at his tattoos.
They covered his skin – or at least, his left forearm and hand, with some stretching up his neck to wind across his jaws as well. His right forearm was almost completely bare, and the half-rolled sleeves of his shirt and pants obscured the rest of him from view. But across his left arm twisted the impossibly complicated shapes of skulls, birds, and geometric shapes, all in a gritty swirl of black and gray and red. The designs shifted with his muscles as slid his hands into his pockets. He stood only a little taller than Sam, and was even more slight in stature.
The shop itself was actually just a glorified shed attached to the feed store, but it looked like it had been completely made over to accommodate an array of tattoo supplies – plus a chair in the center of the large shed that looked like it could be unfolded to be like a bed. A few stools lined the walls as well.
“So,” the man said with a thin shrug. His dark, baggy clothes seemed to hang off him. “You said shoulder, right?”
“Um… that’s, that’s right,” Zachariah said softly. He rolled up his short sleeve and stared at the floor as he revealed his Stormbeck tattoo. Sam reached out and put a hand on his arm.
Isaac’s throat tightened. It’s bigger than I remember.
Still, the man nodded, seemingly unbothered, his eyes moving over the tattoo. He tilted his head. “Any ideas for what you wanted instead?”
“Oh… no,” Zachariah mumbled. “Just whatever works. I know it’s… it’s bad.”
The man snorted. “Definitely not the worst I’ve seen. You ever try to cover one of these up on the face?”
Gavin gasped. “Who the fuck tattoos on the face?” he breathed.
“The Torrs,” the man said with a dry chuckle. “When they’re feeling particularly shitty. A bull in the most god-awful blocky style, right here on the cheek.” He motioned to his own cheek, bare except for a dot of metal. “Or on the neck. Still, I think I’d prefer that over the Stormbecks.”
Gavin went rigid beside Isaac. Isaac could hear his throat click as he swallowed, watched his lips tremble as he opened his mouth and asked, “Why… would you prefer a face tattoo over the Stormbecks?”
With an easy shrug, the tattoo artist pulled up the sleeve on his right arm and exposed the brand over his bicep: the head of a raven, surrounded by vines. By the look of the scar, it was a decade old at least.
“R-right,” Gavin whispered. “Stormbecks brand.”
“Hurts like a bitch, too,” the man said with a chuckle.
“So you were owned by my— by Benjamin Stormbeck?” Gavin croaked. His eyes swam with tears.
“Yup,” the man said. When he didn’t continue, Isaac’s gaze shifted from Gavin and pinned the artist where he stood.
“You know who he is.” Isaac’s mouth was dry. His hand inched toward his gun.
“I suspected,” the man said gently. He shrugged again. “No hard feelings, though. I mean. I heard some of the story, so I know that’s not even your real name anymore. And I heard you were in town. So it wasn’t hard to guess. But like I said. No hard feelings. You think I haven’t done shit? I wasn’t branded for no fuckin’ reason. It was because I got caught selling Stormbeck playthings to a higher bidder. So.”
Gavin went pale. “You sold—”
Isaac fell back a step, pulling Gavin and Sam with him. “Let’s—”
The man raised his hands. “Holy shit, here’s a good first impression. I did it so I could feed my little sister and her kid. And I didn’t exactly enjoy it. And once I escaped, I didn’t start again. Fuck, I…” He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to Zachariah. “Well, I might have entirely fucked this up. Sorry. But I would like to help you out, still.”
Zachariah stood frozen, his eyes darting between the man and Sam. “I… um…”
“Start over, maybe? My name’s Brandon.” Brandon held out a hand and shook Zachariah’s. “Good to meet you, man.”
Zachariah’s hand swallowed Brandon’s, but his was shaking. He squeezed Brandon’s hand in a quick handshake. “You too, Brandon,” he said, shuffling his feet.
“And you guys, too,” Brandon said, his relaxed demeanor slightly giving way. He held out his hand for Gavin to shake.
“Gavin Uriah,” Gavin said, his eyes still downcast.
“Yup,” Brandon said with a nod. He held out his hand to Sam.
“Sam,” they said, their mouth turning down at the corners. They kept their arms folded awkwardly across their chest.
“Sweet.” Brandon didn’t skip a beat. He reached out to shake Isaac’s hand.
“Isaac Moore,” Isaac said flatly. He only barely held himself back from grinding Brandon’s knuckles together in his grip. Instead, he released his hand quickly, so he would be able to reach for his gun if it turned out he needed it.
“Okay, cool,” Brandon said, rubbing his hands together and glancing at the four of them. “It really is my bad for bringing up the plaything… thing. Not exactly something I’m proud of and it’s honestly not something I bring up a lot. If you don’t feel good about moving forward, totally cool. But…” He peered at Zachariah’s tattoo again, taking a step to the side as if to look at it from a different angle. “I think this is totally doable, depending on what you go with.”
Anger and distrust churned in Isaac’s gut. The door called to him, but more than that; this entire town felt absolutely crawling with people he couldn’t – or shouldn’t – trust. Just being in the same room with someone who had sold stolen playthings made him sick to his stomach, and to know that this same man had also brought up the Stormbecks knowing who it was that stood in front of him…
After everything Gavin has been through, after having that history carved into his fucking arm…
“What do you think, Zachariah? It’s up to you,” came Sam’s voice, winding through his distrust – and below the distrust, as there always was, was fear.
Zachariah wrung his hands and looked to each of them in turn. “Um… I would… really like to have it covered,” he said weakly.
“Then let’s stay and have it covered,” Sam said with a nod. They glanced at Isaac, and he felt their gaze like an admonishment.
He forced himself to nod back, forced his shoulders to relax.
“Okay,” Brandon said with a gusty exhale. “Sounds good. Um. I do a lot of my designs freehand as long as they’re simple, but I have the stuff to do a stencil too. So. If you don’t have any ideas, um…” He pulled up a stool and sat down. Everyone else remained standing. Brandon didn’t seem to notice. “What kind of things do you do? What do you enjoy?”
“Um…” Zachariah spread his hands. “I don’t… really know. I uh… I played soccer with my siblings, but that was more for them.”
“Hm. Okay. What else?”
Zachariah glanced at Sam and blushed a furious red. “I like… Sam,” he said, almost too quietly to be heard.
“No go. I don’t do couple’s tattoos.” Brandon waved the idea away. “Used to be bad luck in case you broke up. Now I don’t do it in case one of you dies.”
Isaac let out a sound like he’d been punched.
“Way less likely up here, but a superstition is a superstition,” Brandon said with a shrug. “Let’s think of something else.”
“Um…” Zachariah twisted his hands together. “Finn and Ellis have… a cat that’s really friendly, and I like him…?”
“Mm, could be promising,” Brandon said. “What are the main colors?”
“Oh, he’s all black,” Sam said with a grin.
Brandon leapt up from the stool. “Bingo,” he said, and went to his table of supplies. He paused and glanced back at Zachariah and lifted his eyebrows. “Does that work? Black cat tattoo?”
“You… can really make this work?” Zachariah murmured, glancing to the others hopefully and back to Brandon.
“Sure thing,” Brandon said. He pulled on some gloves and began preparing the tattoo gun. “Only thing to settle is payment.”
Isaac’s stomach dropped. “We don’t have any—”
“Yeah, I know, nobody does,” Brandon said with a good-natured wave of his hand. “But I have a small tree that’s been about to fall over in my yard for a few months. I don’t have a car to pull it over and I don’t have the strength or… frankly, the fuckin’ time to chop it into firewood when it does go. Help me pull it over, then give me like four hours of chopping? Whatever amount of wood that makes?”
“Th-that’s it?” Zachariah said softly. “That’s… all you want?”
“Yeah, dude,” Brandon said with a snort. “Believe me, it’s worth it to me.”
“I can start tomorrow,” Zachariah breathed.
“You’ll start once this is healed,” Brandon laughed. “You don’t want a tattoo this big getting infected. Especially not up here where I don’t have a lot of the stuff I would need to treat it.”
“Thank…” Zachariah swallowed hard and sank into the tattoo chair. “Thank you.”
Brandon turned around and rolled his tray of supplies closer to the tray. “Oh yup, just make yourself comfortable. I already wiped the chair down before you got here.” He gestured to the stools along the wall. “The rest of you want to have a seat?”
“Thanks,” Sam said, and gave Zachariah a reassuring squeeze on his arm. They and Gavin each went to a stool and sat down.
“I’ll stand,” Isaac said coldly.
Brandon shrugged. “Suit yourself. Sit down if you feel woozy.” He poured disinfectant over a cloth and smoothed it over Zachariah’s exposed shoulder. “Did the old tattoo heal okay?”
“Um, yeah,” Zachariah mumbled. “Just a little itching. The Storm— um. They gave me a good tattoo cream for the healing process.”
“At least there’s that,” Brandon said with a one-shoulder shrug, peering at the tattoo again. “Let me just…” He uncapped a black marker and drew a few swooping lines across Zachariah’s shoulder. “There. That’ll be the general idea. Like I said, I can add more detail if you want, but…” He stripped off his gloves and passed Zachariah a mirror. “Take a look. Do you—”
“How did you do that?” Zachariah whispered, eyes wide, staring in awe at the mirror in his hand.
Sam jumped up off their stool. “They me see,” they said, grinning. They stared at the drawing on Zachariah’s shoulder. “I… wow. I didn’t… so you’ll fill in that part and that part?” They held out their left hand to point.
“Okay, now I have to see,” Gavin said as he slid off his stool, too. His eyes widened as he looked at Zachariah’s shoulder. “It’ll be…” He wet his lips. “It’ll be like it was never there.”
Isaac ground his teeth and stepped around Zachariah, unable to contain his curiosity. The drawing was simple, but the lines were clear; once they were filled in, the image of Nata curled on Zachariah’s shoulder would fully cover the black Stormbeck crest that marred it now. Peeks of Zachariah’s skin would even show through to show the cat’s eyes, nose, and whiskers, and his tail curled around Zachariah’s bicep.
“I love it,” Zachariah rasped. “Seriously, I… I love it. Let’s do it.”
Brandon clapped his hands together. “Awesome. Let’s do it.” He pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and switched on the tattoo gun, dipping the tip of it into the small pot of jet-black ink beside him. “We’ll take this at your pace, okay? Shouldn’t take too too long, but if you need me to slow down or if you need to just tap out, no problem. We can always go again another time.”
Isaac’s eyebrows pulled together. Tap out?
Zachariah nodded vigorously and pushed out a slow breath. Sam pulled their stool forward and reached out, taking his other hand. Isaac watched in confusion. They’re acting like he’s about to give birth, what—
The needle touched Zachariah’s skin and he let out a hiss.
Isaac fell a step forward, his eyes fixed on the needle in Brandon’s hand. “Does that hurt?” he said, before he could stop himself.
“It’s…” Zachariah’s eyes went wide and he stared up at Isaac. “N-no,” he stammered. “No. It doesn’t. I… it’s not that bad, I promise it’s—”
“But it hurts,” Isaac said weakly. “Right? Like, does it always hurt?” He could feel Sam’s gaze on his face, but he ignored it.
Brandon wiped his mouth on his shoulder. “Depends on the person, and on the body part getting tattooed. And on what’s being done. But yeah, tattooing hurts, man. It’s needles going into your skin at like 10,000 times a second.” He chuckled and glanced up at Isaac. He immediately sobered when he saw the expression on Isaac’s face.
“Do you…” Isaac swallowed dryly. “Do you tattoo over scars?”
“Hell yeah, man,” Brandon said, and turned back to his work. “I work in the North. If I didn’t work with scars, I wouldn’t have a job.”
“I mean… do you…” Isaac’s hand shook as he fumbled for his sleeve. He wordlessly pulled his sleeve up to reveal the scars at his wrist and forearm.
Brandon paused his tattooing and looked at Isaac’s arm. He looked for a long time, so long that Isaac flushed with embarrassment and yanked his sleeve back down. Then, Brandon drew in a deep breath and said, “Of course I do work over those kinds of scars, man. But I can’t tattoo over broken skin. You’re gonna have to stop doing that if you want any work done by me.” Without another word, he turned back to Zachariah. He switched on the machine again and deftly moved it over Zachariah’s skin, wiping, tattooing, wiping, tattooing.
Isaac fell a step back and sank onto the stool next to Gavin. His scars prickled where the air had touched them. Still, as he watched Brandon work, he imagined how it might feel to have a needle slide into his skin 10,000 times per minute leaving ink in its wake, making designs instead of scars. He shivered as Gavin slid his fingertips against his palm and laced their fingers together.
“You doing okay?” Sam said gently.
“Yeah,” Zachariah said with a tight smile. “Really, it’s not bad at all.”
“Damn,” Brandon murmured, as if to himself. “This is gonna be a really cool piece.”
Continued here
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lavenderpilled · 11 months
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some harm reduction tips from a recovering self harmer (not pro, obviously.)
try not to sh while under the influence of any kind of drugs or alcohol. as well as being more likely to make dangerous wounds or use non-sterile techniques, alcohol acts as a blood thinner, which can be very dangerous as your wounds may not stop bleeding. if you're going to drink or do drugs, hide your tools beforehand to prevent sh from happening.
always use clean tools. if a tool is rusty, just throw it out. it's not worth getting tetanus or another kind of infection. make sure that you clean tools before and after use if possible to prevent germ and rust build-up.
keep a first-aid kit in your home. it's better to sh and take care of the wounds than leave them untreated with the potential of infection. wash them with soap and warm water, use antibacterial ointment if avaiiable, and cover with a bandage.
don't leave dressings on for too long. change them daily and whenever they get dirty or wet.
know the signs of an infected wound. infected wounds have increased pain, swelling, and redness, and can drain pus or cloudy fluid. for signs of an early infection, you can use warm compresses and antibacterial ointment. if an infection will not go away, or if you are experiencing a fever, chills, or nausea, seek medical attention.
avoid bony areas of your body, your face, and your neck. these areas are much more likely to lead to very serious complications.
recovery is hard, and i understand how hard it is to quit cold turkey, especially in a terrible situation. but there is always hope, even if it doesn't feel like it. using harm reduction is a good step towards recovering, and any step, no matter how small is important. stay safe, love you guys <3
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surgery tomorroooow
excluding the obvious general chronic pain improvement, I think what I'm most excited for is being able to buy cheap bras from like, any clothes store??
like I'll be able to just. go buy a bra. anywhere. maybe even in bright colours??? with cute patterns????? for affordable prices?????? wild
I've been surviving on two basic ass tan and black bras for the past several years, purchased for a ridiculous price from the only store that stocked anything even close to my size, and they busted their underwires within weeks of purchase (after returning THREE bras from the same store for the EXACT SAME ISSUE) I also have a lace tan soft cup that I can't wear because the fabric quality is horrendous and it ITCHES SO BAD (even though I purchased the exact same style of bra years and years ago and it was the msot comfortable bra ever what did they DO TO IT) and, of course, it also busted the underwire in a WEEK
I didn't even bother replacing them because obviously it was just gonna keep happening and there were literally no other stores I could go to so I just pulled out the underwire and have been wearing them Like That for years (which, comfort improvement! but support reduction)
but after tomorrow (and when the swelling goes down) I can just! buy bras anywhere!!! and it won't cost me sixty bucks at minimum!! it's gonna be amazing!!!! I can't wait!!!!!
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sleepycatten · 1 year
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PSA about hair removal
This post is for anyone who's seeking hair removal, but especially for the many other trans women / trans fems I see being given misinformation by laser or electrolysis technicians, especially in the US and UK 🥺
Laser hair removal
* Permanent hair reduction.
* Always shave the area closely beforehand. Laser is less effective if you do not shave.
* Ideally look for a clinic that uses something like a Candela GentleMax Pro or newer. Such machines are less painful & more effective than ones like any of the Alma Soprano devices.
* 6-8 sessions will typically be the sweet spot before moving on to electrolysis.
* If the technician or clinic tell you not to use numbing cream, that's a massive red flag against their knowledge. A technician does not need pain feedback from you to know they're using safe levels!
Electrolysis
* Permanent hair removal.
* You must let the hair grow at least a few mm before a session.
* Ask your electrologist for an estimate of how long it will take to clear an area, as their expertise and speed will vary. For example, NHS Scotland estimates it can take 250-400 hours to fully clear a face of facial hair. My own highly-experienced electrologist estimated 100-150 hours max for me, but has nearly cleared my face in under 25 hours. She's not yet taken more than about 120 hours to clear someone's face / neck fully.
* Again, numbing cream is not only absolutely safe, it's in fact highly recommended if you cannot afford local anaesthetic injections.
* For most folks, it's as much a mental challenge as it is about physical pain management. Even with numbing cream and strong painkillers, it's gonna hurt, especially in 2 hour+ sessions and around sensitive areas (especially the top lip and around the mouth).
* Aloe vera gel helps with post-electrolysis swelling and recovery.
Numbing cream
* The most common brand of numbing cream is EMLA, which is 2.5% lidocaine and 2.5% prilocaine.
* The strongest cream I've found without prescription is Tattoo Numbing Cream, which is 5% lidocaine and 5% prilocaine.
* If you can get a stronger cream on prescription at an affordable cost, this is definitely something to consider.
*To help with absorption, exfoliate and clean the area before applying cream, apply 60-90 mins before a session, and cover in an air-tight, water-tight dressing (cling film / plastic wrap works well).
Sadly, I can't provide much information on local anaesthetic injections. In the UK, they're typically arranged either by a medically-trained specialist at an electrolysis clinic or separately (such as at a dentist's) immediately before attending a session.
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aressida · 1 month
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Wrote a long one cos the in law family wanted him to take the flu shot, I said no.
"Dear Family, Friends, and Medical Professionals,
I am writing to share some thoughts and questions about vaccines, particularly in light of recent developments.
Do we believe that vaccines are the ultimate solution in medicine?
It is commonly known that influenza vaccines are reformulated each season due to the virus’s constant mutation, making it challenging to predict and protect against new strains accurately.
Is it true that these vaccines bypass the liver’s natural filtration system, potentially causing a shock to our bodies?
How should we classify these ingredients—as toxic or benign?
Here are just some vaccine ingredients, and these are being injected into your body and into your children’s bodies if you choose to vaccinate:
– Formaldehyde/Formalin – Highly toxic systemic poison and carcinogen.
– Betapropiolactone – Toxic chemical and carcinogen. May cause death or permanent injury after very short exposure to small quantities. Corrosive chemical.
– Hexadecyltrimethylammonium bromide – May cause damage to the liver, cardiovascular system, and central nervous system. May cause reproductive effects and birth defects.
– Aluminum hydroxide, aluminum phosphate, and aluminum salts – Neurotoxin. Carries risk for long-term brain inflammation/swelling, neurological disorders, autoimmune disease, Alzheimer’s, dementia, and autism. It penetrates the brain where it persists indefinitely.
– Thimerosal (mercury) – Neurotoxin. Induces cellular damage, reduces oxidation-reduction activity, cellular degeneration, and cell death. Linked to neurological disorders, Alzheimer’s, dementia, and autism.
– Polysorbate 80 & 20 – Trespasses the blood-brain barrier and carries with it aluminum, thimerosal, and viruses; allowing them to enter the brain.
– Glutaraldehyde – Toxic chemical used as a disinfectant for heat-sensitive medical equipment.
– Fetal Bovine Serum – Harvested from bovine (cow) fetuses taken from pregnant cows before slaughter.
– Human Diploid Fibroblast Cells – Aborted fetal cells. Foreign DNA has the ability to interact with our own.
– African Green Monkey Kidney Cells – Can carry the SV-40 cancer-causing virus that has already tainted about 30 million Americans.
– Acetone – Can cause kidney, liver, and nerve damage.
– E. Coli – Yes, you read that right.
– DNA from porcine (pig) Circovirus type-1
– Human embryonic lung cell cultures (from aborted fetuses)
You can view all of these ingredients on the CDC’s website. I encourage everyone to do their own research. Look up the MSDS on these chemicals. Read the thousands of peer-reviewed studies that have evaluated the biological consequences these chemicals can have on the body, especially when being injected.
Injecting foreign substances directly into the bloodstream—viruses, toxins, and proteins—has been linked to various diseases and disorders. These include conditions like atypical measles, cancer, leukemia, multiple sclerosis, and even SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
Conditions like Addison’s disease, anaphylactic shock, arthritis, asthma, asymptomatic COVID-19, Crohn’s disease, epilepsy, facial paralysis, fibromyalgia, fetal distress syndrome, foreign body embolism, genital herpes, hepatitis, hyperthyroidism, inflammatory bowel disease, jugular vein embolism, lung abscess, lupus, meningitis, MERS-CoV test positive, migraine-triggered seizures, multiple organ dysfunction syndrome, multiple sclerosis, multisystem inflammatory syndrome in children, pneumonia, stiff leg syndrome, stiff person syndrome, stillbirth, sudden heart attack, sudden respiratory failure, type 1 diabetes, uterine rupture, viral bronchitis—and much more.
This does not mean everyone will experience these reactions, but a significant number of test subjects have experienced one or more.
It is more than enough evidence to show that vaccine mandates are completely anti-scientific.
How can you make an informed decision if you do not have all the information?
We have also seen a shift where flu vaccines are now mRNA-based. But does a "vaccine" really prevent a virus or its recurrence as we expect it to?
The annual flu shot is, at best, a partial defense, aimed at last year’s strain. Does it truly help against the ever-mutating new flu, or is it just a temporary fix?
My concern is that this mindset—that a vaccine is a quick fix for everything—is flawed. The immune system may struggle to handle these types of agents, leading to breakthrough infections and potentially higher mortality rates.
For those who are vaccinated, I respect your choice. I simply ask for the same respect in return for my decision not to vaccinate. My reasons are personal and grounded in a belief that the government should not dictate my health choices and my family's.
Have you heard about Pfizer’s side effects?
Have you read the Pfizer documentation? Ask yourself if a drug with 32 pages of side effects is right for you.
The list of potential vaccine side effects released by Pfizer is alarming, ranging from autoimmune disorders to serious conditions like multiple organ dysfunction and sudden respiratory failure. Yet, this information was kept under wraps and only recently made public. Shouldn’t we be informed of the risks?
Do we even know the medium- or long-term effects of these vaccines?
Are they still in clinical trials? Is there a control group? What about Antibody-Dependent Enhancement (ADE) – has it been adequately tested? And why are ingredients like formaldehyde and mercury, known toxins, included in these vaccines?
Do you truly think this vaccine is 100% safe?
Transparency is crucial.
How can we make informed decisions if we are not given all the information?
We must ask ourselves, do we trust the pharmaceutical companies and their relationships with organizations like the CDC and FDA?
The FDA requested 75 years to release data on the Pfizer vaccine—why? Why did it take only 108 days to approve this vaccine, yet it supposedly requires decades to fully understand its effects?
Do you believe that SARS-CoV-2 has been isolated?
How well-informed are you about the CDC, FDA, pharmaceutical companies, and their donors? Do you think their qualifications are reliable?
These are important questions that deserve honest discussions. And, I believe it is crucial to acknowledge the existence of these alternative perspectives and engage in open discussions to gain a more comprehensive understanding.
Our health and freedom are at stake, and I urge everyone to think critically and seek out all the information before making decisions.
Thank you for taking the time to consider these points."
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Hannah was never much of a sports fan. She’d always preferred books and art over the chaos of a crowded stadium or the physical demands of gym class. But there was something oddly comforting about vintage sports gear. The dusty old baseball glove her grandfather once wore, the worn leather bat she’d found in her parents’ attic—these relics spoke of a different time, a time when things were simpler, and perhaps, in some way, more magical.
That’s what drew her to the resale store in the first place. It was a small, out-of-the-way shop that specialized in the unusual and the forgotten. Shelves lined with old vinyl records, antique furniture, and, tucked away in the back corner, a rack of vintage clothing. It was here, hidden between an old letterman jacket and a tattered football jersey, that she found it: a dusty old baseball uniform.
The uniform was nothing special at first glance—a pair of grey pants, a slightly yellowed white shirt with blue pinstripes, and a cap with a faded “L” emblazoned on the front. But something about it caught Hannah’s eye. Maybe it was the feel of the fabric, heavy and worn, or the faint scent of sweat and tobacco that lingered in the fibers. Whatever it was, she felt compelled to try it on.
Hannah made her way to the back of the store, pushing aside a velvet curtain that led to the dressing room. The space was cramped, with a single mirror leaning against the wall and a small bench to sit on. The light was dim, casting long shadows that seemed to flicker and dance as she closed the curtain behind her.
She slipped off her sneakers and jeans, carefully folding them before placing them on the bench. The baseball pants felt strange against her skin—rough and heavy, like they were meant for someone much larger. The shirt hung loosely on her frame, the sleeves extending well past her fingertips. But it was the cap that sealed the deal. As soon as she placed it on her head, a wave of dizziness washed over her, forcing her to sit down.
Hannah took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but the feeling only intensified. Her hands began to tingle, and she looked down to see her fingers thickening, the nails growing blunt and rough. Panic set in as she watched her hands swell, the skin darkening as hair sprouted along her knuckles and the back of her hands.
She stood up quickly, but the movement sent another wave of dizziness crashing through her. She gripped the edge of the bench for support, but her legs were already changing, the muscles bulging and tightening beneath the fabric of the pants. Her feet lengthened, toes curling as they stretched, bursting out of her socks.
Her breathing quickened, and she staggered over to the mirror. The face that stared back at her was no longer her own. Her jaw was broadening, her cheeks filling out as a dark shadow of stubble erupted across her skin. Her eyes, once wide and blue, darkened to a deep brown, the shape of them narrowing as they settled into a more angular form.
Hannah’s hairline receded as her forehead expanded, her features hardening into those of a man in his late twenties. A strong, Roman nose and high cheekbones added to the distinctly Latino look that was forming before her eyes. She reached up to touch her face, but the sight of her hands—thick and calloused, with hair sprouting up her forearms—sent a jolt of fear through her. She turned away from the mirror, but the transformation was happening too quickly for her to escape it.
Her shoulders broadened, the seams of the shirt straining against the growing muscles. Her chest flattened, but it wasn’t a reduction—rather, it was the building of muscle, the creation of a strong, athletic physique that now filled out the uniform with ease. She could feel her waist thickening, her hips narrowing as her body reshaped itself into a distinctly masculine form.
Thick, dark hair began to sprout across her chest and arms, curling slightly as it grew. The skin on her torso tanned to a warm brown, and she could feel the texture of her stomach changing, the smooth skin giving way to a trail of hair that led down past the waistband of the pants. Her thighs thickened, powerful muscles bulging beneath the fabric, and she became aware of a new weight between her legs, a clear signal of her transformation.
But it wasn’t just her body that was changing. As her bones lengthened and her muscles grew, memories began to flood her mind. They were alien at first—strange images of a life she had never lived. She saw herself standing on a baseball diamond, the sun beating down as she adjusted her cap, spit on the ground, and took her position at second base. The crowd cheered as the pitcher wound up, and she felt the familiar thrill of anticipation.
No, not her. His. These were his memories.
She tried to hold onto herself, tried to remember her own life, but the details were slipping away, like sand through her fingers. Her name, her face, the things she loved—all of it was fading, being replaced by something new, something stronger.
Hannah—no, Danny, that was his name—Danny Rivera. He was a baseball player, a good one too. He’d played in college, then spent a few years in the minor leagues before making it to the majors. He remembered the first time he stepped onto that big league field, the way his heart pounded in his chest as he looked around at the sea of fans. He’d been so proud, so full of life.
And he was gay, too. That wasn’t something he had always been comfortable with, but it was who he was. He remembered the first time he came out to his team, the fear of rejection, of losing everything he’d worked so hard for. But they’d accepted him, welcomed him even, and he’d never felt more at home than he did in that locker room, surrounded by his teammates.
The last vestiges of Hannah’s thoughts were fading now, her identity melting away into the man she was becoming. She no longer felt out of place in the uniform; it was like a second skin, familiar and comforting. The cap sat perfectly on his head, and as he adjusted it, he caught sight of himself in the mirror once more.
Danny grinned at his reflection, a cocky, confident smile that showed off the dimple in his right cheek. He ran a hand through his short, dark hair, feeling the strength in his fingers, the power in his body. He was back—back where he belonged, in his prime, ready to take on the world.
The curtain rustled as he stepped out of the dressing room, a new man in every sense of the word. The store clerk barely glanced at him as he walked by, simply nodding in acknowledgment as Danny made his way to the door. He didn’t have any money on him, but he figured that didn’t matter. The uniform was his, always had been. Besides, he had a game to get to.
As he stepped out into the bright afternoon sun, Danny took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the crisp, fresh air. The memories of who he had been, of the life he had lived as Hannah, were gone now, replaced by the certainty of his identity as Danny Rivera. He felt strong, confident, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
With a final glance back at the store, he turned and walked down the street, his stride long and purposeful. There was no doubt in his mind that this was where he was meant to be. This was who he was meant to be. And as far as he was concerned, that was the only thing that mattered.
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