#telephobia

[soliyra-the-sunbringer]

I made my call. I fought through the anxiety and I did it. I talked for a long time. By the time I was done the person I spoke to said he wants to watch the show now. And, honestly, it feels really good to have put my thoughts out there where somebody might actually hear them. Now it's your turn. 855-442-6629 (don't forget to be kind to your operator)

[doodlemancy]

sometimes i make merch that's just for me and then very generously allow you to buy it (low stock right now but i'll make more if it sells out haha)

[lettered-mind]

After Sherlock's death, John literally can't answer phonecalls. He just can't.

He can't hear the phone ring without feel a cold sweat in his back, he can't watch the screen without feeling panic and intense anxiety. The scam phone calls just terrify him first, and then only the vibration is enough to send his cortisol levels through the roof.

He can't.

The first times, after Sherlock, after the fall, he could, but even though the voice on the other end isn't deep and rich, it's not masculine and doesn't say "that's what people do, isn't it? Leave a note", he can hear it over Mrs. Hudson's soft voice, Harry's gruff tone, and Greg's stressed one.

After a while, he just stops trying. Stop answering. Because sometimes it feels like the more the phone rings, the more seconds Sherlock has to keep breathing, keep living. Sherlock turned into his Schrödinger's cat; he is dead and alive as long as John don't answer.

And John can't answer anymore.

[diamantdog]

i'm not saying that i relate to a greedy child-murdering billionaire boomer, but i also react this way whenever i'm forced to make/receive a phone call.

[jimkirkachu]

the inexplicable fear, panic, and paralysis of having to make phone calls

(gif source)

[crazycatsiren]

Me: *makes 2 appointments*

Me: I need a nap.

[sun-roach]

When you have telephobia and your best friend asks if they can call and suddenly anxiety hits you really bad, although you know its okay, cause they r your best friend, they already know all the stupid things about you and dont judge you. Yet you still get so anxious because you don’t get every information/ reaction from a phone call but somehow video calls r worse but texts are better????

You also never know when it’s your turn to say something so most of the time you are quiet during calls, which some people take as ignorance, where in fact you are just unsure or literally don’t know what to say

[rageagainstthesink]

What's the ring around an angel's head?

(see the joke)

Dear reader,

I need you to be honest with me here.

Do phone calls make you feel fearful or nervous at all?

In my case, they do. Call it telephonophobia if you'd like, but whether they're outbound or inbound calls, just no.

Luckily, incoming calls are an extremely rare occurrence in my daily life, other than my carefully planned work meetings, and I don't really have the need to call anyone, either. Thank the Lord for social media and SMS, setting aside the negatives.

It's not that bad of a fear, though. I'm okay with phone calls from friends and a few family members every now and then, but not as much with unknown numbers. It's the not being able to predict what they'll say that drives me mad, I guess.

Which is ironic, because I worked in customer service and dispatching for a year, nonetheless.

Back in those days, this is what waking up every morning felt like (knowing that I had a full-time shift ahead):

So I don't really regret leaving that life behind. In the slightest.

While it did make me feel much better to be able to rehearse what I'd say before a call and to have a vague idea of its possible outcomes, that didn't make the job any more enjoyable for people like me.

Coming up with something worthwhile to say in under a week is already a big challenge for me, let alone in less than a second. My brain's CPU must not have enough capacity for that type of task, leaving me drained after a whole day of trying.

Surprisingly, there was a time in which I was making a great effort to overcome my fear of talking back in 2018. I was doing it out of spite, actually.

You see, a convenience store owner mocked my mom because I was terrified of calling over a newspaper carrier that was passing by once. I got so angry at him that I decided I wouldn't let my shyness get in my way too much ever again.

I went all-in, running all kinds of errands for my family with seeming confidence, plus this one instance of having the ovaries to order a super personal thin crispy ham pizza over the phone and get the delivery myself. And, yes, that's how I could've ordered it in just one short sentence instead of going through 3 questions, had I checked their website before dialing.

Jumping to late 2021, as the adrenaline from my newfound outgoing and social self started to wear off, I ended up landing my very first job as a call center agent the day I finished my first year of college.

I dropped out of college as soon as I got hired, because Accounting and my family weren't any more tolerable than angry customers, and up to this day I admire that Naomi's courage in getting emancipated at the same time she was trying to overcome these telephonophobia-ish issues.

It was an okay experience. I was assigned to a tech support position where we worked with restaurant managers mostly, and needed to study the product to know how to troubleshoot it, meaning customers saw us in a very different light from that of telecommunications or retail agents.

We also dealt with way less daily customers, because calls lasted anywhere from 1 minute to 6 hours, and my department in particular had up to 1+ hour of no calls coming through (a.k.a "waiting") sometimes.

The work ambience was overall good from my perspective as a newbie. So much, that I missed it every day once I got promoted and relocated to another, delivery-related, more peculiar client.

That one I hated thanks to my boss, plus the distance between my house and the office didn't help, either. Still, I preferred it a hundred times over "going back to the phones".

The dread I felt every time I heard that little beep-y song before an incoming call was very, very real.

Anyway.

Fast forward to the time I was 4 months into my second job as a dispatcher for a garage company. I hated it.

The workload was considerably lighter in comparison to my previous roles, and I was thrilled about working from home, but I just couldn't take the morning dread any more, as their customers were often angry and I wasn't trained enough for it, and quit.

Had I not done that, I wouldn't have found the closest there is to my dream job in this industry just a month and a job abandonment later. So, I'm the living proof that you also need to know when to give up and give into your intuition.

I'd be ecstatic if we, as a society, finally accepted that this would be the world if we transitioned from call-based customer support to a chat-based, or at least 50-50 one:

I don't care how many articles and corporate training modules out there insist on how vital phone calls are, no human being loves being yelled at by some psycho who thinks they're entitled to venting over the phone in such a rude manner with someone who's not even at fault for their problem.

But, of course, it's much easier to talk about the importance of leaving a good impression on even the most annoying of your clients as a super rich CEO who hasn't met any of their customer support agents, let alone said clients.

I do get the part of wanting to have a business-client connection, the human touch and what not, but I feel like there are many situations where we can avoid the whole phone call thing for a more convenient, less intrusive chat experience.

Let's take BAC Credomatic (bank) and PedidosYa (delivery services), to demonstrate.

They both have functional apps from which you can get stuff done anywhere, anytime along with efficient chat-based customer support lines that allow you to get most issues fixed immediately or have your requests submitted over a quick 1-5 minute chat.

As their customer, I feel extremely satisfied in that regard. Then again, I've had few inconvenciences with their services in the first place...

Sadly, since barely anyone enjoys being a phone agent and chatting is still in the process of gaining popularity in the customer service industry, the so-called "backend" positions that encompass messaging and emailing tend to be used as incentives instead of an actual position you can apply to from the start.

Kinda sucks to be an introvert or have any type of social anxiety as both a customer with a big problem at hand and a customer service representative, y'know?

I'm not completely against phone calls now that I don't have to experience a constant fear of dealing with an angry person at some point throughout the day, but still believe that chat is my personal strong suit.

It has a few noteworthy advantages over calls such as:

The fastness in being able to individually tackle more than one chat at a time.

The comfort of being able to think your answer through for a bit before sending it.

You could have a dog barking next to your phone and it wouldn't affect the conversation… if you don't want it to.

The fact messaging using Meta apps doesn't pull out as much mobile data as the calls do.

Of course, one disadvantage is it doesn't necessarily ensure a real time conversation. And funnily, that's an advantage, too! It means you don't really need to wake up at midnight to talk with someone at the other side of the planet. Also, while it feels comforting to hear a nice human voice, it's just as possible to lie or be lied to during a phone call as it is when texting someone.

At this point, the overall safest communication method would be video calls if it wasn't possible to use filters or fake them in any other way altogether.

Technology's scary, isn't it?

That's why, if I were to provide sensitive information, I wouldn't be capable of ignoring who could be lurking behind these screens. Would much rather do delicate stuff at a reputable branch of whatever business I'm trusting it with than one that can't even have that decency.

This leads me to the question, are there cases where calls are better than chatting or writing? Absolutely, even I'd be willing to call someone I haven't seen in months.

But the fact that everyone, including blind and handless people, can choose between calling and chatting is a beautiful thing.

Our real peak as humanity is precisely this ability to have preferences of ours, no matter who we are.

And by now you probably figured out mine is texting.

You'll just never ever catch me choosing to call someone instead of sending them a message as part of my daily activities.

What about you? Do you prefer writing your thoughts, or talking them?

Until next time!

- N

[foggyjune]

The things I could achieve if I'd overcome my phobia of talking on the phone.

[rochellek1994]

Not sure who the company was that my mum was speaking to but whoever that woman was on the other end, you DO NOT attempt to force me to talk on the phone when I have a crippling phobia of doing so.

Absolutely disgusting and unprofessional behaviour, do some research about telephobia and how it affects someone who has it!

[rdstonowhere]

Alex G Bell. (comic dub)

[heartthyst]

I hate those calls where you have to choose a number to be directed to the correct specialist. There's too many options!

There should always be a last option that says, "or press 9 if you just don't know and we'll redirect you to the right person."

[mockboy]

tag dump : friends

[sirfrogsworth]

I know phone customer service people have to put up with a lot. And I always try to be kind and reasonable.

But sometimes people just suck.

I am trying to order new CPAP supplies because my mask broke and it is currently held together with duct tape. And it's been a while so they said they needed a new prescription. It would take two days to process it. So I called back in 3 days.

I get a new woman this time and she says I need "chart notes" along with my prescription. So I call my doctor's office and say I need chart notes. She says "okay" and I assumed she faxed them over.

I call the CPAP lady about an hour later and I ask, did you receive the chart notes? She says "yes" but it was not what she needed. So I ask, "Okay, can you tell me what chart notes are so I can explain what you need?" She just says again, "They are chart notes." And I'm like, "Okay, but can you give me an example of a note so I can explain it?" She responds, "No."

My phone anxiety goes to 11 at this point.

I explain that clearly the doctor's office lady didn't understand what was needed. So I need more information about what chart notes are. She once again repeats, "She should know what chart notes are. Just ask for chart notes."

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

"Okay, can you call the doctor's office and just ask for what you need directly?"

"I will not do that."

"Can she call you and ask what you need."

"No I will not talk to her."

I start crying out of frustration.

She let out an angry sigh that she clearly wanted me to hear.

"Look, she clearly made a mistake. People make mistakes. Just call her back and tell her to send chart notes."

I try to apologize for getting upset. I explain that I am not good on the phone and get anxiety. She gives another angry sigh. I say, "Look, I've called about 5 different people by now, I have a broken CPAP mask I need replaced and I am clearly not getting anywhere. All I'm asking is that you give me a general example of what constitutes a chart note so I can be assured when I call another person, I can give her the information she needs. Can you please just give me an example?"

FINALLY, she explains what a goddamn chart note is. She said it is doctor's notes talking about the CPAP machine and how it is benefiting my sleep apnea.

Was it really necessary to go through all of that to get that answer?

Then I call my doctor's office back and she says, "Oh, I haven't faxed that yet. It's buried pretty deep in your chart and it will take a little time to find."

So it turns out that entire phone call was unnecessary and the CPAP lady was incorrect about receiving a recent fax.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

There is a reason I have telephobia.

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

podcast recs!

i'm not sure if you want to listen to any more history in your free time but there are two history podcast i really like:

> Geschichten aus der Geschichte - two historians telling each other a "story from history" every week - there are hundreds of episodes!

> Der Rest ist Geschichte - they focus on a specific topic every episode and look at it throughout history, and also draw connections to the present

if you like audio documentaries/features, I really like these podcast series:

> DLF Doku (formerly Freistil)

> Dok 5 - Das Feature

> WDR5 Tiefenblick

(there are many more like these, if this is something you like, let me know!)

then!

> Telephobia - it's a podcast with so far 8 episodes where the host accompanies people who need to make a long-overdue phoncall, really spectacular, a second season has already been announced!

lastly there's always "Domian" - a tv&radio call-in show which ran from 1995 to 2016 (it always aired live at night from 1-2am) where people called and talked about basically everything (predominant themes are: love, sexuality (notably a lot of queer-relating topics which were still kind of taboo elsewhere in the 90s and early 00s!), family, politics, illness, pop culture, life decisions etc etc) — one "episode" lasts 1 hour and most calls last 5-10 mins, i'd say you'll find 95% of the episodes online so you'll never run out of these (domianarchiv.de/youtube/spotify/...)

this is all just the tip of the iceberg of course, i'm not sure if you like true crime at all? or investigative research? or funny stuff? audio plays?!) if so lmk!

Thank you!

I'm a big fan of audio dramas, documentaries, and audio plays. I tend to like to put on something with a bit of a "plot" when I am cleaning the apartment because it helps me get through otherwise mundane or repetitive tasks.

I don't necessarily dislike True Crime (the Antenna Bayern series on Hinterkaifeck is quite good, at least until the episode with the psychic), but I feel like as a genre, I need to be in the right mood for it.

As a historian, I have sort of mixed feelings on history podcasts. If it is historians hosting it, I tend to like it. But more "pop history" stuff tends to have the opposite effect because I end up wanting to correct it (which doesn't really work for trying to take a break from research)