#thank u all for the exam wishes :) i passed them !!

[atlaswav]

LOST WITHOUT YOU ☆

INFO: 2812 words, Alhaitham x gn!reader, a little mildly suggestive content (16+) SYNOPSIS: after focusing your whole life on studies and beating Alhaitham, you find that you've lost yourself, and you don't know how to put yourself back together. AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is so rushed and bad but the ideas just kept flowing out and suddenly I wrote a whole short story 😓 (unedited pls lmk if u find errors! likes and reblogs also very much appreciated!!!)

It was never a competition – not to him, at least. 

Him, with his cold, unwavering demeanour and even colder, unshakable gaze. 

It never was a competition, but to you, everything was. You hated it all. You hated his expression, permanently arranged in disdain, and his withering glare. That look that he always gave you, always the same, blank stare. 

Above all, you loathed his overwhelming sense of self importance. He carried himself with such an air that you felt absolutely unremarkable next to him, and in your drunken wishes, you yearned for him to be put in his place. 

Wishful drinking, you called it, and such was suited to a night like this. The night before receiving the results for your final exams, the only one that really mattered in your seemingly futile quest to outshine Alhaitham. 

Your roommates were fully aware of your infatuation, though you wouldn’t call it that. They teased you for locking yourself up in your room while they went out socialising and bar streaking, most often returning with the reek of alcohol staining their clothes, passing out on the couch. 

They thought you weren’t a drinker, too, but truthfully, you only saved drinking for important occasions, and this seemed like an occasion important enough. With a flair for dramatic, you had claimed yet another bottle of cheap wine off the kitchen counter before retreating to your room, several glances of concern and curiosity following you down the hallway. Seated on the miniature balcony, you twisted open the cap on the bottle, wincing at the wine’s harsh bitterness as time slipped by, minutes blurring into hours with hushed murmurs outside your door. 

They cared, they really did. But you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge them, not with your thoughts too occupied with outdoing Alhaitham to amount to anything substantial. Your roommates already thought you were a studying fanatic – those looks of concern weren’t a first time occurrence as you trudged up the stairs with the wine in tow. You didn’t care enough to correct or reassure them  – though were they wrong?

You hardly left the house enough, if it weren’t for classes and your job, you’d be a hermit. It felt suffocating, sometimes, the life you’d given yourself. Though ahead in all other aspects, you couldn’t help but feel like you were falling behind. Everyone was falling in love, while you fell behind, caught in the grinding cycle of academics and validation.

Melancholic and dramatic, you were, when you were drunk. Though others may be hopeless romantics. 

“[name]? Someone’s here to see you.” Your roommate knocks on your door. 

You don’t glance over your shoulder as the knocking becomes more insistent. “No thanks.”

“May I come in?” A familiar voice echoes from down the hallway. Your hand freezes halfway to the bottle. 

The door creaks open, and you turn around, slowly standing up and steadying yourself on the railing. Alhaitham stands in the doorframe, only his silhouette visible through the light pouring in through the hallway. 

You’re suddenly far too aware of your pyjama pants and well worn hoodie, folding your arms across yourself. “Why are you here?” 

He stands there for a while, completely still. Then he sighs. “I don’t know.” Stepping across the threshold, he starts to close the door behind him. 

“I didn’t say you could come in,”

“Sorry.” He says. After a brief silence, he leaves. 

You stand there, confused, with unspoken questions hanging in the air. 

Then, the door opens again. 

You’d never seen him so unsteady before, gaze darting around the room and a flush high on his cheeks. His Emerald eyes are bright as he steps into the dim light of your room. “I have to come in.”

You frown at him in confusion. “Why are you here?” 

The moment doesn’t seem real as he crosses the room, joining you on the balcony. Quiet lingers around the two of you as you give up asking for his motive and simply reassume your position at the railing. Maybe you’re too tired or burnt out to care, but as he hesitantly joins you, casting you indiscreet side glances, you offer him the bottle. 

A show of camaraderie, perhaps. 

He shakes his head, and you take a swig from the bottle, yourself, before setting it back on the low, rusty coffee table.

He fidgets with his hands, turning the ring on his index finger over and over. It clicks with the ring on his other finger, occasionally, resonating an irritating ticking noise.

“Can you stop? What do you want?” You finally outburst, startling him. Alhaitham faces you now, entirely focused on you. But his usual look of casual disdain is gone, and you’re not sure you recognise the man staring at you. 

His features bathed in moonlight, his gaze looks softer than it ever had before. The soft breeze brushes his hair across his forehead, and you can’t help but wonder how soft they’d feel to your touch. 

“I want you,” 

Before you can fully register his reply, he draws you in, one hand reaching around your waist, another reaching softly into your hair, and kisses you. 

You fail to register anything at all – all other sensation is irrelevant with the sheer feeling of the warmth of his lips on yours. It feels so wrong, but you can’t bring yourself to pull away. 

It’s intoxicating. He tastes like wine. 

He withdraws, expression blank again. 

“What?” You utter, and abruptly, as if snapping out of a stance, he flees your room with such rapidity that you have to consider whether or not it was all a dream. As his footsteps echo down the hallway, you run a hand through your hair, tousled by his touch, snatch the bottle from its place and drink deeply. 

– 

The autumn chill drifts in the air. Other students dawdle about on the lawns, boisterous laughter echoing across the courtyard. Your class sits in solemn silence. You with your ringing head in your hands, and him with his back turned to everyone, focused on the lecture hall’s door. 

When you woke that morning, the morning after that, you were insistent on believing that it was a dream. But the empty bottle lying on the balcony and the ring on the ground said otherwise. 

You turn the metal ring over in your pocket, running a finger over the miniature inscriptions on the inside. 

‘Empathy, the double-edged sword’

You’d been fretting over how to return the ring, avoiding the primary subject on your mind – overshadowed with the return of the test papers. 

The minutes tick by in anxious silence until the door bursts open with a professor whose arms are filled with papers. 

If it weren’t for the pounding hangover, you’d be laughing at the anticlimactic atmosphere. The professor grumbles under his breath as he hands out the exam papers and results, not offering a general comment on the class’ results. 

He reaches Alhaitham, and gives him the pleased look he always gives him. The class launches into whispers of speculation. 

The professor’s walk down the aisles of chairs seems like it takes forever, and you have half a mind to snatch the stack of papers out of his hands and wildly search for yours. 

Until he stops in front of you. 

A slight smile as he hands the paper to you. 

“Well done.” 

A perfect score. 

Over your shoulder, someone announces it to the entire class. 

Alhaitham meets your eyes with a soft smile and a nod. A ninety nine is hastily scrawled onto the front page with red ink. 

Relief; Your heart and head feel light, but your stomach is filled with butterflies. It should feel liberating, but you’re unsure what – how – to feel. The past few years had led up to this moment, but it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like you thought it would, like the victory you’d hoped it would’ve been. 

As quick as it was, your relief is gone, quickly replaced by a sinking feeling of foreboding as you walk out of the classroom, congratulations falling on deaf ears. 

– 

It’s midnight, again, and you’re awake, tossing another empty bottle into the corner to join the others. 

Your roommates were overjoyed for you, they cooked you a celebratory dinner, toasted to your success, and teased you about going clubbing with them that night. Yet you turned them down like you always did, because nothing felt right anymore. 

That gaping hole in your heart, previously haphazardly filled with academics, now felt like a great, yawning chasm with no bottom in sight. 

Your entire purpose had been fulfilled, and you had a bright future with job offers lying in your emails, untouched, but it didn’t feel complete. 

You realised that you lost yourself. 

In trying to become better than someone else, you’d lost yourself, and you didn’t know how to find a way back. 

“[name], we’re going out, are you sure you don’t want to join us?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” 

A slight pause. “Okay. Also, your friend from before is at the front door. Should I let him in?”

You vividly recall the intoxicating, wine stained taste of Alhaitham’s lips against your own, the sensation of his fingers tangling in your hair, and his hand bracing your waist on this very balcony. The ring sits in your pocket, the tiny scrap of metal heavier than ever – a burning weight.

“Sure. Send him up here.” You manage. 

Melancholic and dramatic were a few of the things you were when you were drunk, but you were also known to have made horrifyingly bad decisions.

You hear your roommate walk down the hallway and down the stairs. You hear the front door open and close. You take the ring out of your pocket and start turning it over in your hands, pacing around your balcony all the while. 

A knock on your door, and you snap to attention, waiting a while before weakly calling for him to enter. 

The door slowly creaks open, and his silhouette fills the doorframe. He leans against it, seemingly unsure of whether or not to fully enter.

A long silence ensues. 

“Are you here to take your ring back?” You start, holding it out. 

“Oh. Yeah.” But he doesn’t cross the room. So you do. You walk toward the door, stepping into the light of the hallway as he steps back. 

His cheeks are flushed, gaze darting and fleeting. 

With more daring than you’d ever displayed, you grab his hand and slide the ring back on, marvelling at his fingers – long, slender, pale. Pretty. A scholar’s hands. 

“Thanks.” He murmurs, looking up from your hands, meeting your eyes for the first time. 

The soft look is back again. 

“Congratulations, by the way.” He starts, removing his hands from yours. “Professor said we were going to share valedictorian.” 

You nod, suddenly immensely uncomfortable. “Not surprised.”

He nods as well, seemingly sheepishly, muttering something under his breath that you don’t catch. 

“What was that?” 

“Kaveh said that if I don’t tell you tonight, he’d tell you himself.” 

“Well tell him that I said thanks.” 

He rubs his face with his hand, exasperated. “No, not congratulations,”

“Then what?”

He gives you a long look. 

“Are you going to stare at me all night?”

“Archons, I don’t know what you do to me.” He takes your face in his hands and brings your lips to his. 

It all feels so right. Alhaitham tastes just as intoxicating as he did the first time, only now, there’s a fervour behind his movements. The cherry wine on his lips is exhilaratingly rich. You could get drunk off his taste alone. 

His hands boldly move down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin – in return, your hands wander his torso, teasingly skimming the skin beneath his shirt. He shudders, pulling away, although the sheer intensity of his gaze tells you that he won’t be leaving you this time. 

“Does that tell you what I'm here to tell you?”

“Might have to explain a little more,” You rasp, catching your breath. 

Some sort of restraint within his self control snaps, and he pushes you into your room, locking your door behind you. 

In light of what happened after that, you were tremendously grateful that your roommates had left to go clubbing. 

– 

Neither of you were sure what it was. 

The morning after, he’d left before you woke up. Rather than feeling betrayed, you appreciated his absence, as it gave you time to gather your scattered, alcohol imbued thoughts. 

It soon became a regular thing, where he’d stop by your shared house – that you’d never given him the address to (although he later explained that he got it from Kaveh) – to see you. It wasn’t always a hook up, sometimes he dropped by in the middle of the day if you were around, and made conversation. 

The first few nights, however, were actively avoided. He would always hurriedly change the topic or avoid the question, averting your gaze. But it didn’t matter now – or so you thought – as he sat on your bed, watching you read. 

A month ago, you’d have kicked him out without a second thought, but here you were, making idle conversation about something as ordinary as TV shows and work with him while you read. 

It felt nice – right. It felt like you’d known each other for years when you were intent on resenting him for your entire college career. It felt so secure that you’d forget why you hated him. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, flipping through one of the novels lying on the bedside table. 

“You.” 

Alhaitham rolls his eyes. “Of course I am.”

You hit him lightly with your book. “Pretentious little shit.”

“Wounded.” He deadpans, setting the book back down. 

“Seriously though, I find it so weird that you’re sitting on my bed and making normal conversation with me when a year ago I’d have given you a black eye if you showed up to my house unannounced.”

He frowns. “Why?”

You level him with a blank stare. “Are you being sarcastic?”

He shakes his head, expression genuine. 

“You’re not kidding?” You set aside your book, leaning in. “I hated you, you know that, right?”

“What?” His expression is one of genuine surprise as he takes in the apparently new information. “Since when? Why?”

“You have to be kidding me.” You laugh at the comical nature of it all. “You didn’t know?”

He stares at you, mouth half open in shock. “The whole time?”

You nod. 

He lies down on your bed, still digesting the discovery. “I thought…”

“What did you think?” 

“Your friends always just said that you didn’t socialise a lot, I thought you just didn’t know how to socialise or something,” 

You sit and observe him in silence for a while. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m surprised” he runs a hand through his steel grey hair. “It was so obvious, now that I think about it. How could I have not realised?”

“Your turn. Tell me.” You suddenly say, lying down next to him. “What did you want to tell me the first night you visited me?”

He goes quiet. He’s quiet for so long that you have to check if he’s still awake. His gaze is pointed at your ceiling, the glow in the dark stars there. 

“I’ve been somewhat in love with you for the longest time.” He finally admits, voice thick.

“You what?” You sit up, mouth agape. “What the fuck?”

“If you want me to leave, I’ll go.” He says, sitting up as well. “I figured I should tell you eventually, and that time is now.”

Quiet ensues, as it so often does when you’re around each other. Not an uncomfortable sort of quiet – the quiet that speaks louder than words. 

You’d both been blind the whole time. You, for your infatuation with him – with beating him, with his person, with his attitude and, though you’d never admit it to him, his looks – and him, with his one sided love for you. 

And though you’d both been too near-sighted to see the other person in their entirety, now your cracks are showing. The recesses in his facade of steel, and the fractures in your mask of indifference. 

Two puzzle pieces. Pieces that could mould to each other, shaping and weathering with time. 

So when he makes to leave, you grab his hand. A silent question. The tension eases from his shoulders, and Alhaitham pulls you off the bed, wrapping you in his arms. 

The past few weeks with him have proven nothing but the possibility of loving him. That the hatred that you’d accumulated over months of blind infatuation masked the presence of something far more confronting.

You couldn’t recognise yourself in the mirror anymore. So much of you was missing. But maybe, the two of you could find yourselves in each other. 

written by @delat1ne, published 27th of August 2023

[shattersstar]

Please use this as a free pass to write "admiring them from afar" with anyone you want :^)

the hellcat spangled shalalala

pairing: college!au jason todd x reader

prompt: blossoming romance - admiring them from afar

warning: harassment mention (in joking context)

a/n: more college basketball au bc i say so! seriously tho thank u for the request it worked out as a great free pass ☺️ this can be read as a stand-alone or taking place after drawstring. comments r appreciated and i hope y’all enjoy ! and expect another part soonish <3

—

shot at the night series.

—

when your judgment’s on the run, and you’re acting like a stranger cause you thought it looked fun.

The morning sun casted a milky glow, pouring in through the windows and lighting up the store as clouds moved on. Summer began to roll through, exams a thing of the past as Gotham hummed with warmth. You were going to the beach sometime next week, even if it was over a two hour drive away, you were beyond excited. It had been easy to forget all about school, despite the fact the summer term was coming up and you were taking a course. On top of working at a cafe during the week, the gas station on weekend mornings, and still unpacking your new place, you were surprisingly busy.

It was why you hadn’t really seen Jason. Or at least what you had told yourself. You two were in a confusing place, you both knew you liked each other, had worked through some things, but you wanted time. To figure out how genuine your feelings were or if they were just because Jason admitted to liking you. It was nice to be desired, to be sought after, but you didn’t want to string Jason along.

Even if Jason took forever to tell you how he felt and handled it like an ass, he didn’t deserve that.

No one did.

The thought made you sigh as you looked over the columns of scratch and lotto tickets. You had never bought one when you turned of age and always wished you did. It seemed fun, if a bit pointless. You were engrossed with the paper coated in gossamer film that glimmered in the sunlight when the bell above the door rang. You peered through your lashes at whoever came in, heart skipping a beat as the object of your affection breezed through like an early morning fantasy. Jason sent you a quick smile before ducking towards the fridges in the back and scanning through the drinks.

You watched his tall figure from where you perched behind the counter. Elbows resting on the plastic case holding the tickets that no longer occupied your attention. His broad shoulders rose and fell with a sigh, black waves brushing the back of his neck. He was in track pants that hung low on his hips, shirt partially tucked in and giving you a chance to take in how his waist curved and held muscle and fat you could only imagine the delicious sight of.

“You guys don’t have anymore Propel?” Jason called, looking over his shoulder.

You nearly fell over being caught staring, opting to scrunch your nose at the question. “Unfortunately not sir. They don’t sell well because, personally, those drinks are grossly sweet.” You said in your best customer service voice, a grin pulling at Jason’s mouth as he turned back to the fridge.

“Uh huh. Thank you for your input.”

“I live to serve.” You chimed, loud enough for him to hear over the hum of the fridges and the quiet playlist you had put on. Jason snorted from the distance, prompting you to steal another look at him before you busied yourself with refilling the lighter display, which you had abandoned in favour of zoning out earlier.

You had always told Jason you were tired and bored on shift, opening at 5am most weekends. It had become a habit during the school year for him to stop by, usually on a run, but today with a bag slung across his body, you were sure he was heading to the gym on campus. Off season practice you supposed.

You also realized it likely meant when Jason moved off campus, it was still nearby if he was able to stop by before heading to campus. That or he went out of his way to see you, which made your heart skip another beat. You looked back over to Jason at the sound of the fridge door closing, trying to keep your eyes low as you followed his footsteps. He walked up the furthest aisle than down the one closest to the register, lingering while you shifted behind the counter.

“Anything I can help you find?” You called, sweetly.

Jason shook his head no, looking over at you that crooked smile. “Nah, I don’t think you guys carry what I’m looking for.” He opened the energy drink he picked, taking a sip while you smiled in return.

“Yeah unfortunately we don’t carry steroids.” You shrugged. Jason nearly spat out his drink as he laughed, and you were unable to contain your giggles from behind your hand. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, picking up a bag of chips before turning towards the cash. Jason placed both his items on the counter and tossed a granola bar there after pursuing the treats that sat below the register for a minute.

“That’s all.” He said, while you pointed at the drink.

“In future, we ask customers wait till purchase before opening food or drink.” You said, the playful air in your voice still there.

“Oh give my apologies to the owner.” Jason remarked, while you scanned his items.

“Will do…its been a while since you came in. And you didn’t get a patty today.” You muttered, looking at the screen. You had become used to your early morning meetings, even if exams and everything that happened between you two had kept Jason away since the term ended. It didn’t make it hurt less, but it wasn’t because of him. You knew you were the one putting up distance when he finally opened up to you.

“You remember all your regulars that well?” Jason asked tentatively.

“Only the cute ones,” You said, tapping the screen before adding, “Like that redhead you used to come in with whose dropped dead gorgeous. You ever give out his name or number?” You teased, Jason was well aware you knew Roy and his number.

“What does he normally get again?” Jason countered, and you pulled your lip between your teeth as you met his gaze. You stayed silent before raising your hands in defeat, you knew when you lost your battles.

The computer beeped at you for taking too long, and you chuckled awkwardly before pressing a few buttons. You could feel his eyes taking in your side profile as he often did. You wondered how you didn’t know Jason’s true feelings before when you caught him admiring you so often. And worse, how could you think your feelings were anything, but genuine when every time Jason did something like that, your heart raced.

He was so beautiful and could have anyone, a sentiment you felt tenfold when you learned he played for the university’s basketball team, but Jason chose you. He looked at you and made you feel like no one else did and you had been foolish to deny that for so long.

“It’s 9.55.” You said, as he handed you cash.

“You can keep the change.” Jason said, shoving his snacks into his bag.

“I definitely don’t get paid enough so thanks.”

Jason hummed, fiddling with the lid on his drink, and despite the platform the counter sat on, he was still taller than you. You were almost eye level like this, but Jason still had to glance down as he spoke his next words. “You called me cute earlier.”

“Oh I did?” You played dumb and Jason’s jaw shifted, but you knew he wasn’t angry. The ease that normally flowered between you two took over your conversation as he nodded.

“Pretty sure.”

“Well if you wanna file a harassment claim, it’ll be with the owner you owe an apology too.”

“Maybe that makes us even.” Jason said, quiet.

“Maybe…or you could pick me up after my shift if you really wanna square things. I finish earlier today.” You said, gaze flickering between the lotto tickets and Jason’s face. A boyish grin took over his expression as genuine excitement seemed to fill him.

“Fuck yeah—I mean yeah, that’d be great. What time?” He reeled himself in while you toyed with his receipt.

“Noon instead of three.” Jason nodded, that wild glint in his eyes spelt trouble in the best way. He adjusted the strap on his shoulder and while distracted, you placed your palms flat on the counter and pushed yourself to his height. You pressed a quick kiss on Jason’s cheek before settling onto the stool behind you. Jason nearly dropped his bottle as he processed what you just did.

“See you later Jason, I’ll save you a patty if all the construction guys don’t get to them first.” You promised, as he headed towards the door, running his fingers through his hair and looking back at you with indiscernibility. It was shock and awe you supposed.

“See ya baby!” Jason called as he left, dazed tone and pet name threatened to set you on fire as a group of kids barrelled in and darted straight to the freezer. You paid no mind to their yells and counted the hours till Jason picked you up for your first date.

shalalala.

~

title/lyrics from the hellcat spangled shalalala by arctic monkeys

more reading: college/uni hcs + jason todd

[hina-hina]

Omg could u write headcanons of how alejandro takes care of an injured reader during battle/a mission?

Just him being so worried and reader trying to calm him down even though they're literally bleeding out?

Thanks in advance, if not, thanks for ur time tho!! Have a lovely day/night :))

This was such a cute request, I hope you like it!! Thank you for requesting!! o(^▽^)o

Thanks to everyone for understanding about not uploading yesterday and for anyone that cares to know, I have passed all my finals/classes! I wish all of those the best of luck with their exams and to enjoy their time off! Love you all ❤

Also, big thanks for 300 followers! I'm so thankful you all like what I write and thank you for all your support!

|| Alejandro With an Injured Reader ||

Warnings: Some gore and blood, a little angst, non-graphic dipictions of injuries

Gender-Neutral!Reader // Romantic

For this request, I imagine your a relatively new member to Los Vaqueros

He was quite hard on you but that was because he actually did find you very attractive but he didn't want a situation like with Valeria to happen again

So he was often very cold and distant with you but that was just because he didn't want to get attached

So, when the two of you get seperated from the other Vaqueros, he knows he's completely screwed

The two of you duck into an old, abandoned house to hide from the enemy troops closing in

He was quickly trying to get back into contact with the rest of your team when he noticed your slow, sluggish movements and hand wrapped tightly around your middle

He knows the two of you are infinitely more fucked

"Are you hurt? Show me."

He is immediately at your side, supporting your weight as he lowers you down to lean against a nearby wall

With his urging, you pull your bloody hand away from the gunshot wound in your abdomen

"Shit..."

You glance down at the wound then back up at Alejandro, muttering with half-lidded eyes, "Colonel, you need to go and find the others before they find us."

"No," he says it immediately, pressing his hand onto the bleeding wound and trying to ignore your pained hiss, "No one gets left behind, vaquera/vaquero."

He quickly rifles through his vest, pulling out a stim shot

The voices of the enemy troops was getting louder and he knew they didn't have much time left

He drops his voice to a whisper, "This is going to hurt like a bitch, but you need to keep quiet. Here-"

He offers up his gloved hand, encouraging you to bite down before he gives you the stim shot

He uses a bit of cloth to pack into the wound and hauls you up off the ground

After the stim shot, your much more awake and aware, helping him take out enemy troops when he can

Eventually you make it back to the others, him immediately shouting out to them that you needed a medic

Others on your team began swarming you, pulling you away and he can't help the way his hands linger on your injured form

He watches as your helped into the helo to get further medical assistance from the medics

Rudy comes up and clasped a comforting hand onto Alejandro's shoulder, "They're going to be ok, amigo."

All he can do is nod as his gaze lingers on you while he loads into the helo as well

When they get back to base, he is immediately going to the medical ward to see you

Your sitting in one of the beds, rid of your tactical gear and in civvies

He tries to keep it professional, he really does

He strolls into the room, hands clasped politely behind his back as he watches the medic finish up bandaging your stitches

You perk up when you notice him standing by the door, "Colonel."

For once in his life, he doesn't know what to say as his eyes fixate on your bandaged wound

He settles for a respectful nod

The medic, noticing the obvious tension, looks between the two of you before excusing themselves

The two of you sit in awkward silence for a moment before you motion to the empty space on the bed, "You could... Sit? If you wanted..."

It frightens him how he doesn't think he would refuse anything you asked of him in that moment

He sits after a moment, quietly admitting, "I'm glad your ok."

"Thank you," You stare at him for a moment before biting your lip, slowly grabbing his hand in yours, "Thank you for not leaving me behind."

He is shocked

He doesn't understand because he had been so awful to you before

He likes it nonetheless

He looks at you and the two of you make eye contact

and he just doesn't care anymore

All the things that had been holding him back before crumble as he moves in slowly, one large hand coming up to rest against your cheek as he give you plenty of time to stop him

You don't, leaning up to meet him halfway as the two of you kiss softly

It was a small kiss but when he pulls away, he presses his forehead to yours and admits quietly to being scared of losing you

The two of you sit like that for a while before you eventually have to seperate

He promises to take you on an actual date and woo the fuck outta you when you feeling better =￣ω￣=

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

could u do midoriya and Bakugo with a childhood friend who got rejected from UA while they got in and she started distancing herself from them?

(Hello Anon, thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy! Also I hope you don’t mind that I made the reader gender neutral)

Fading Childhood

Midoriya and Bakugou x GN! Reader

(Warning: This is platonic, reader has a quirk but it’s not specified)

You, Midoriya, and Bakugou are childhood friends. You lived close by Midoriya’s house and he introduced you to his friend Bakugou and ever since the first day you met you guys did everything together, whenever Bakugou would say mean things to Deku or hurt him in any way you would be there to be the voice of reasoning to calm down the situation.

Bakugou was always stubborn, in Junior High he would absolutely refuse to hang out with Midoriya sense he was Quirkless and didn’t want to be seen with him but with you there you somehow managed to convince Bakugou to hang out with you guys.

You often found yourself comforting Midoriya from all the bullying he receives each and every day. You would go to a nearby store, grab majority of his favorite snacks, and then go to his house to hang out to keep his mind occupied.

Today was one of those days where you were over at Midoriya’s house, you were talking about how you both applied to UA and hoped that you both will be accepted there. You had high expectations that you’ll be accepted because you had a pretty good quirk and it can be very handy for saving people.

10 months later it was time for UA’s entrance exam. You started to prepare right before the exam, stretching your muscles and breathing in and out to calm your nerves. You haven’t seen Midoriya or Bakugou anywhere yet but you knew they were gonna be there it’s just a lot of people there so it’s hard to spot them, but you silently wished the both of them luck.

After a few long minutes of listening to Present Mic explain the rules for the exam, everyone went to their proper locations and waited for the buzzer to go off to start.

The buzzer went off and the exam began, minutes passed and you took out a few robots and saved a few people, it was safe to say that you’ll most likely be accepted into the famous hero course.

All the sudden a loud boom snapped you out of your thoughts but it sounded nothing like Bakugou’s explosions so out of curiosity you checked out the noise. There you saw one of those large robots that are worth 0 points come down and a person was falling down. You were too far away to see the person but by the sounds of their screams you could tell that it was Midoriya.

You were running as fast as you can to try and save him in time before he fell to his demise but you were too late. Luckily a girl with short brown hair saved him with her Quirk and he started floating. You sighed in relief as he gently got put down and Recovery Girl was walking over there. The exam ended and you wanted to talk to Midoriya and ask him questions about his Quirk because you always thought he was Quirkless, but you decide to leave him alone since currently he was getting treatment for his broken bones.

A week has passed and you still haven’t received the acceptance letter from UA, it worried you but you tried to look at the bright side and still have hope. Then you got a text from Bakugou.

“Bakugou: No surprise but I got into UA, how about you?”

He was right, there was no surprise but what about you? Where was your letter? There was still some time left so you didn’t panic too much, you decided to not answer the message from him and go take a small nap to kill time.

You were woken up by a text and checked to see who it was, it was Midoriya.

“Midoriya: Hey sorry I’m texting you so late but I got into UA I’m so happy, did you get the acceptance letter?”

At this point it was 10 PM and you didn’t get the letter. You lost all the hope you originally had and felt like your dreams of becoming a hero were torn into shreds.

Days later it was the first day of school in UA and both Midoriya and Bakugou didn’t see you anywhere. They knew something was wrong when you didn’t reply to there texts so they suspected that you didn’t get accepted and with you nowhere to be found in UA that confirmed that they were correct.

Later in the day, after their first day of school was over you heard a loud knock on your bedroom door. You said come in expecting that it was gonna be your guardian but it caught you by surprise when you saw your spiky haired friend walk in and shut the door with a note in his hand.

“What are you doing her-”

“You think you can just distance yourself from us like that just because you didn’t get into some stupid hero course? There’s other hero courses out there so don’t you dare give up.” Bakugou says as he gently but firmly punched your arm, you softly smile at the gesture knowing that it was Bakugou’s way of telling you that he cares.

“Thank you Bakugou.”

“Yeah yeah whatever, here nerd wanted you to see this.” He says handing you the note before walking to the door.

“Hey wait again thank yo-”

“BYE” He slams the door.

Chuckling a bit, you open the letter and read it to yourself-

“Dear Y/N, I’m sorry I couldn’t come over to tell you this in person but I had some things to do and I wanted to tell you this as soon as possible so I wrote this note. I’m sorry you didn’t get accepted into UA, you have such a amazing Quirk and you’ll be a amazing hero. That being said, don’t give up there’s other schools that have a hero course and sure it won’t be UA but don’t let that bring you down. - Sincerely, Midoriya.”

Reading that note made you tear up, how could you distance yourself from your friends, childhood friends to be specific. You made a promise to yourself that once you see them again you’ll apologize and never do that to them ever again.

Masterlist

[aihaitahm]

mysteries of tatarasuna

enemies to lovers? not really kinda? idk more like frenemies. cw suggestive (if u squint)

ill probably make a part 2 mwehehehehhe idk depends on how this one does :3 hopefully you guys like it :((

when you first interacted with alhaitham, he was still a haravatat scholar and you were a vahumana scholar. you both were incredible and outstanding students in your own fields though there was always tension between you both. you would see him late at night while cramming your own researches while he would secretly stare, busy “reading” his book. sometimes he would walk by you and would point out your mistakes. afterall, you sat by the book section where ancient inazuma linguistics were. he would pretend to grab a book from there but in reality, he was intrigued by you yet denies he feels attraction towards you.

“you know cramming is a terrible habit especially for a vahumana student like you.”

“also this word should be ‘their’ instead of ‘there’ how are you the top student of the vahumana darshan? how did you even pass the entrance exam?”

“excuse me?!” you hissed from the rudeness.

“also this sentence does not make sense. you should make it concise for the teacher to read.”

you stare at him deadpanned but inside you couldnt help but think he was handsome and smart. you’ve heard of a lot about alhaitham. the top student of haravatat, azar’s top choice for a scribe, everything.

you deeply sighed and made corrections, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. you could feel your face go a bit pink when you noticed he was a little too near you. oh god.

“who.”

“what?”

“ASKED. respectfully i did not ask for your opinion thank you very much.”

you slammed the encyclopedia closed as you finished your last piece of your project about the mysteries of Tatarasuna and how it came to be. though other students have their own projects about it, the professors liked yours the most because of how updated and unique it is.

“tsk and you knew i was right, you even did what i said. you did in fact needed that. hm was i wrong?”

oh boy and thats how the friendly-not friendly banters and arguements started. it got even worst as you both graduated. when he became scribe while you became a sage. soon enough, you realized how much you enjoy interacting with him. not like you both would admit it but there was definitely sexual tension sometimes or even… all the time. everybody noticed it, even the fungus did.

alhaitham would talk about you a lot whenever he got invited to play tcg or dinner with cyno, tighnari and kaveh.

“do you like (name)?” tighnari asked.

“no. how did you come up with that?”

“are you that much of a dumbass? how are you so smart yet you cant even tell if you like (name). you complain or talk about them everyday.” kaveh laughs as cyno lightly chuckles. tighnari sighs as he asks for the bill.

“maybe i should just kick you out my house, what do you think about that kaveh?” alhaitham says irritatedly. but secretly, his heart is pumping so much he might go crazy.

though one day, you sadly had to go to inazuma for your final research/book about tatarasuna island. professors greatly praised it and younger students use your material for reference. you told that to alhaitham and you could see the sadness in his eyes, though he brush it off as he didnt care and he was awfully too silent when you told him the news.

“i heard the electro archon can be quite the character. take care.”

you both said your goodbyes and you were about to walk away until he grabbed your arm.

“…show me your research when you come back.”

you nodded shyly, as you avoided his gaze. you are so glad you said your goodbyes at night or else, he would’ve seen your flustered state.

during your stay at inazuma, the vision hunt decree was reinforced. you were forced to stay longer than needed. you hate to admit it but you missed alhaitham. you wished you could tell your adventures to him. you could write to him but it was awkward. you didnt know if he was your friend or not. although you both opened up about random stuff but still. he acts kind off differently with you.

alhaitham misses your voice and your sassiness. he scolded himself because he was supposed to confess however he got too scared. he deeply sighed. throughout your stay at inazuma, he was worried whether you were alive or not. kaveh noticed this and alhaitham finally admits he really likes you but he failed to confess. kaveh was shocked at the sight of softness he observed when he mentioned how much he admires you. as much as he wanted to tease him, he knew better and just gave him advice. alhaitham sent out letters however you never received it though he probably thought you ignored him. you lived in his heart and mind rent free.

time passed and sumeru political problems rose. alhaitham was busy with azar’s stupid shenanigans while you were still busy at tatarasuna island. you made a lot of discoveries, observations and, you even earned an electro vision. you became stronger and you’ve changed over the course of time. though would he still like you even if you’ve changed? does he even remember you?

you are scheduled to go back to sumeru soon since its been forever. a lot of people have been wanting to get out of inazuma. people from fontaine, mondstandt even natlan.

you did have responsibilities to uphold as you were a vahumana sage, though its been so long, they probably removed you. azar didnt particularly like you since you are so open about your opinions and you critique him (respectfully but you hated him). alhaitham quickly noticed how they exclude you in some meetings which was suspicious.

slowly sumeru’s political turmoil has gone to an end because of the people of sumeru and lesser lord kusanali.

the day arrived and you were on your way to sumeru. you were excited and you were ready to present your final research of mysteries if tatarasuna. or at least, for now. you wondered how alhaitham was. how your friends were doing. do they think you’re dead?

“we are about to arrive to port ormos, please make sure to have your belongings ready.” the sailor shouted.

you’ve arrived in sumeru. you are close to sumeru city but not quite there yet. as you stepped out of the boat, you noticed some young scholars who may immediately recognized you. you smiled and waved while you continued to mind your business and stay in the inn at port ormos.

cyno was curious at the inazuman boat that arrived at port ormos. this is one of the first boats that arrived since the vision hunt decree was already gone. he was not expecting to see you.

‘hm maybe alhaitham should just be surprised.’ he thought.

as the days quickly end, you find yourself in front of the entrance sumeru city. you put your hood down to remove suspiciousness from one of the strict matras that were roaming around.

“who are you and what are you doing in this city? we want to avoid visitors at this time due to the fact we are still recovering from the recent turmoil.”

“im (name) and i am the or i guess, the former vahumana sage. due the vision hunt decree, i was unable to go home please let me in.” you stated.

“are you lying?“ blah balha blah this stupid matra would not stop asking questions it irritated you. this earned some attention to the locals and luckily, cyno stepped in.

“she is telling the truth. she is known for her research for tatarasuna and just arrived here the other day at port ormos.“ cyno deeply sighs.

“o-oh! my apologies.” the matra was at disbelief and embarrassed.

you thanked cyno privately and he nodded. he guided you to alhaitham since you asked him where alhaitham was.

on the way you saw familiar faces. dehya and dunyarzard hugged you. you then promised to catch up with them after you see alhaitham in which dehya teases you, then she lets you go.

hands sweating, and heart pumping. you were nervous. cyno could read you in a heartbeat since it was very much obvious.

“does he know im here?” you asked quietly taking the long ass stairs. a long pause occured before he answered.

“no he does not. he was recently chosen to be the acting grand sage therefore that makes him extremely busy. he can explain you the details to what happen to sumeru because he would want to see you.” cyno said.

you turned red/pink but you just chuckled at the fact he is the grand sage. you wonder if his appearance changed since the last time you saw him. is he still roommates with kaveh? you spiral into a bunch of questions. soon, you both arrived at his office and you saw his silver ashen hair drowning in piles of paperwork. before you could turn to cyno, he disappeared. this made you even extremely nervous.

“the grand sage is not available. office hours are closed. it is past 5pm. if you need me come visit tomorrow.” he sighed exasperatingly. not even giving a glance since he was extremely busy with his duties as the acting grand sage.

“okay mr. grand sage azar 2.0!!!! though i thought you wanted to see my final piece for mysteries of tatarasuna, i guess not.” you sarcastically said but deep down your heart could jump out your throat. you couldnt believe who you were seeing.

he knows that voice. the voice that he frequently heard. his favorite voice. he quickly looked up and took in the image that was standing before him.

[chilapis]

hi lapis how are youuu ^_^ i’m just coming to check in on u and make sure ur taking care of urself !! how was ur week? i hope ur birthday was nice :D i hope this coming week is kind to u also, u deserve it 💘 make sure to drink ur water and get lots of rest, i love u !! ✧～(ゝᴗ ∂ )

Hi Sylvia! I’ve been all right I believe; I hope you’re doing okay as well? I always find it so endearing how dedicated you are to ensuring that everyone is seeing to their needs but, I really hope you practices similar care with yourself as well. You’re such a precious part of this community, and I love you too. ♥️

As for my week, aha… I think I’ve spent the majority of it in aid of my peers. The few people whose company I actually appreciate and wish to spend my remaining two years at this institute in, are, uh. barely prepared? As in, a good portion of the syllabus is completely untouched and now they’re ruining their sleep schedule trying to power through it, the exact same way they did last time. And I? Am horrified? The public law exam is tomorrow; and by tomorrow, what I really mean, is 14 hours. The night before the exam is so important, and one must ensure they’re well-rested, but no. I’m doing my best to help them since all my work has been compiled and ready to go for quite some time now, and they repay me by. lightheartedly treating me like a teacher? They even go so far as to call me “ma’am”, but I’m. not sure that’s enough anymore. I think I need to be paid salary accordingly at this point (jest)

It doesn’t help I’m quite worried for myself too; it becomes so much easier to be worried when it isn’t a matter of just passing or failing. I need to score high; I’d prefer to score the highest but for the sake of my overall total grade (which dictates what type of degree you get, actually, which then dictates your prospects of not only scholarships but then also which institutes offer you scholarships) I need to score high. Even a mere pass is the same as failing for me in my eyes and that is terrifying. I’m confident in my abilities though, I promise. I believe the fear that I’m experiencing is completely natural and expected in this situation and overconfidence would be more concerning if anything.

My birthday went so smoothly though; I was blessed with the company and affection of such wonderful people both online and offline, and I think that, combined with how sensitive I already was from the relief of my contract exam, led to me feeling so overwhelmingly sentimental, and grateful for so many things as well. Including you, and so many others in this community. So, thank you, so, so much; from the bottom of my heart. <3

[mattsbella]

"impossible" - matt sturniolo

୨୧ ₊˚•. ↳ pairings : matt sturniolo x almira gomez (fem!oc)

—— ୨୧ ₊˚•. ↳ warnings : angst, fluff, maybe smut……?

୨୧ ₊˚•. ↳ summary :

ALMIRA GOMEZ had been a fan of the triplets ever since they started, coincidentally she also lived in boston but in cambridge. she was posting on instagram when the MATT STURNIOLO notices her post, also posting pictures with the same caption. is it impossible for these two to get together?

chapter 005

“wheres my baby?”

messsages, real life

——— MESSAGES ———

twitters favourite fivesome

nazeera , almira

matt , chris , nick

nazeera

yall…. beach trip? question mark

almira

have considerate for the people participating in exams.

nazeera

where did u get them big words from

almira

i got into harvard for a reason

chris

still dont belive that

nick

i mean she was valedictorian…

chris

BESIDES THE FUCKING POINT

almira

but still we can do beach trip

wheres my baby @matt

matt

youre so annoying.

almira

not what u said last week

nick

WHAT.

chris

both of you out of here nope im not doing it

nazeera

NOT ME KNOWING EXXXXXXACCCCCTLLYYYYYY

almira

SHHHHHSHSHSHSHSHSHS

matt

both of you two are crazy

chris

like you arent for mira

almira

christopher.

chris

🤐🤐🤐🤐

matt

3 of you now 😭😭

but yeah im down for the beach

almira

but no way in hell am i driving

nazeera

YOU LITERALLY HAVE THE BEST CAR

almira

thank my dad not me

matt

bro owns a fucking maybach and refuses to use it.

almira

bro still has a minivan 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

matt

okay fuck you

almira

you wish

nick

HWAAHHWGAATARATATTA

nazeera

guys what the fuck do u expect more from mar like seriously

nazeera

but i dont care were going to the beach tOMORROWWWWWW 10:30 am matts piciking us up

**pinned** 📌

matt

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 GO BOTHER MIRAAAAA

——— REAL LIFE ———

almira ties her bikini at the back of her neck adjusts her bottoms.

she adjusts her necklace and puts her hair in a loose messy side braid.

she puts on her shorts and a random baggy t-shirt she had, grabbing her purse and phone and walking out the door and goes to the front door of her apartment.

she spots the triplets minivan and nazeera rolls down her window and yells “MAR BABY!!!” while almira giggles and opens the door to get the in car.

“wait no mar go in the front seat chris is sitting in the back” nazeera says and nick nods his head.

she shrugs and opens the passenger door snd gets in, placing her purse in her lap and smiles at matt.

he smiles back and they immediately go to the beach.

20 minutes later they arrived and their currently putting the blanket on the sand and the bags they brang.

“nazeera, do you have tanning oil? i hate sunscreen.” almira says as she stretches her arms

“yup, here” she says passing the oil to her.

almira takes off her shorts and shirt, revealing the navy blue bikini which barely covered much.

matt immediately locks his eyes on her body, his swimming shorts immediately tightening around him, why the fuck is he feeling this.

his mind immediately going south into the wrong thoughts.

chris on the other hand looking at nazeera, she had a peach ish colored bikini on

nick chuckles and his jaw slacked “damn mar” he says still chuckling making almira giggle putting her hand on her hips and saying

“who evers last in the water is a rotten egg!” she yells and runs to the ocean. matt nazeera nick and chris immediately right behind her.

as they were running in the water, almira falls on her back but matt being able to catch her before she even wets her hair. immediately he hears almiras giggles and silent laughs of her fall.

“when he catches you before you drown.” nazeera says adding onto almiras laugh.

“yall wanna know a fun fact.” nazeera says to the other four.

they all nod but almira, her eyes widen and immediately goes to reject. “no! no! nazeera i swear to god!” she says

“almira cannot swim for the life of her” nazeera says and giggles as almira crosses her arms, because if she moves she cannot float.

they all giggle and matt holds her waist to keep her safer. ever since they kissed (which they definitely did once again) he then wraps his arms around he waist for even more safety, almiras hands on his forearms.

chris nick and nazeera leave the two alone, not that they were complaning. matt had an excellent idea to swim to the further rock and go behind it.

he turns almira around making her face him, and he wraps his arms around her back, and immediately starts swimming and moving to the deeper waters.

almira immediately puts her arms around his neck and starts squealing “matt! no! go put me back!” she says while smiling as their faces were centimeters apart from eachother.

they finally reach behind the rock, matts hand going behind her thighs and telling her to jump. she obliged and wraps her legs around his waist.

they just look at eachother, saying nothing or doing anything. just looking.

“has anyone told you how pretty you are” matt whispers as he grabs her jaw and pulls her closer.

“ive been told once or twice” she says giggling and pressing her lips on his lips.

they both smile into the kiss and pull away slowly.

30 MINUTES LATER

the five were now walking up the deck the beach had while talking and laughing in between.

then by surprise a beautiful blonde comes by and gasps.

“my gosh! matt? is that you? i havent seen you since” she says while walking up to him and hugging him, her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek in a “miss you” way

almira literally almost goes pale, but shes forced herself to act like shes normal, but you cant say you cant see the tears welling in her eyes.

“o-oh, hi bree..” he says while hugging her back

“how are you? i havent seen you in 2 months!” two months. two. the amount of time matt and almira had been hanging out.

after that awkward interaction, almira did not talk the whole time it took for matt to drop her off.

as he parks at the road of her apartment, she says bye to the others while nazeera joins her, matt says goodbye, but almira ignores him and slams the passenger door.

she stomps to the front door of her apartment building and going in the elevator.

almira had been crying to nazeera and on her shoulder for around an hour since they got dropped off. how the hell could he not tell her?

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n

angstyysysysysysysysysys

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, Thank you for all the insightful posts . I am an INTP and the Issue I am having now Is I am born in a third world country in a small town not economically thriving . A non democratic country that doesn't teach you anything of substance , the elite kids go to the west and we the poor people have to study in rote memorization and passing the exam and before we know it the aha moment of how weak we are hit harder .

I dropped out from university in order to medicate myself from tuberculosis , and then I get cured , and the corona virus lock-down happened and then my father died and my aunt died . All have effected me deeply . The money I have saved for future interviews was wasted . And Now I am definitely in a Si loop , stuck and sometimes my mind and daydreaming sends me to dark places , wishing death upon myself , wanting to just end it , imagining myself being angry and hitting someone and hitting his face with my feet . I truly have become unhealthy and destructive . Feeling guilty , imagining how I could have done it better .

I constantly feel worthless and think how useless I am and how I wish I was never born because I am not going to be amounted to anything ever . The home situation is unhealthy , I have always been belittled , made feel worthless , insinuated to feel bad about myself . I remember since I was a kid , never felt loved or cared for , just been reminded how odd , slow , in my head , and not going to be as much as good as whom ever they compare me with .

I have an unhealthy ESFJ mother who can't be reasoned with . Explosive , hot temper , not logical or cares about clear communication . Her and my sister are truly insecure . I will Explain a scenario , we are in a bad economical situations , my brother triggered her , she started lashing out on everyone , cursing and insulting how useless we are without hearing or having a communication . I left to my room till they stop , because I can't handle this anger and drama where we can fix them if we think through things but she doesn't want to think or communicate . She confuses communication with complaining because for her communication is only a vehicle to use to release her hostile feelings and passive aggressiveness .

When I come back , she said why did I run to my room . I said I can't handle screams and this chaotic production of words . She said , you should and they started her and my sister : ISFJ , speaking at the same time , like literally at the same time . I asked them one by one , she said No why not listen to us both at the same time . Like what a hell is this . Here you notice and many patterns I have that they don't care about fixing the problem , they don't care about reasonably indulging members of the family to a conclusion , they want to release the tension . My mother specifically wants to release her hostile emotions , she wants us to feel belittled , useless , tell us how she is the only one who thinks about this issue and how useless we are and she thinks this is parenting , she thinks this is leadership.

Now I know since my father died who was an ISFJ , He was our only economical support and he was dutiful and doing his best to get me into a position where I can take the family but even he had issues with her , she swallowed him through her drama , passive aggressiveness , and her hostile attitude , belittling him too and comparing his lack of privilege to others who had far more advantage as if he had a choice in the cards he was given . Since this economical shortage only enraged her and made something to complain about and our household was not of kindness and mercy , I subtracted my needs since way back but my brother still takes from her money and she gives him and she comes back to complain and ruins the household .

The reason I brought my father is I feel bad for not doing anything for him and what a shame that he had no one to help him . He really deserved better and needed more care and love and I always felt unable to do anything when he had cancer . He apologized for me as if he felt bad for not doing enough for me . My friend . I really think and have evidence that my mother and family are unhealthy . I live in illiterate religious area , how do you think Fe and Si expression would be ? -- They don't care about reason , just any high status man who has money or is religious or looks religious matter and his opinion is far better and I , could speak for years and no one would care .

I think she is unsafe and unhappy and her hypergamic instinct produces this passive aggressive tests because she thinks by belittling us , we are going to somehow be motivated to provide and replace my father . She doesn't understand how the Ukraine|Russian war affected us , how our government changed policies to hire more females , she doesn't understand that I can't just get a job , it's all difficult in this competitive environment and I just have lost 3 years where tuberculosis , Corona virus lock-down , death of my father and the shock and depression this made me feel and let alone her training me to feel worthless isn't going to make me more optimistic individual because I can't even film myself speaking in a content creation out of fear and being self conscious of my voice nor dreaming of being able to be loved and desired by any female in romantic relationships to get out of this toxic voice in my head that hammers me and find some refuge in lovely partner .

I know I am unhealthy too - -- I read your study guides and my functions are all unhealthy and I could release the anger and hit someone or could not be able to contain myself and verbally defend myself if I get triggered . I am still studying to find a way to improve and optimally express all my functions but please with the contexts I have provided . How can you help me find answers to this following questions :

How can I remove this worthlessness and feeling I am useless from my mind and how I perceive myself ?

How can I trust that I would be able to get a job in this country and town ? I have limited skills like English and my native language because of time that was wasted ? [ I am planning to use the 4 Hour work week principle that prioritizes Te and Ni for effectiveness , working on skills to learn , 20/80 Analysis , low information diet , delegation and automation , and creating a product to sell to liberate myself from traditional 9 to 5 ] - I don't work in 9 to 5 Jobs . I Don't have any job now .

How can I deal with this toxic mother and her hostile attitude and her inability to be satisfied ? .

How I can heal the wounds that this mother infected me with since I speak to myself a lot and I get lost in my thoughts and she notices and doesn't try to understand , she tries to insult and belittles and laughs at me as if i am some crazy dude . It's the only place I feel safe and I have no friends and my mother doesn't talk to me except to release her tension , so I opt to my head and this had negative affects because my thoughts swallow me and I become self absorbed and any one notices I am speaking to myself and lost it . I do that because I am unhealthy , broke , unemployed , no job , and no healthy environment to drive me and give me help .

Do You think since I am unhealthy , I would waste time reading and consuming information about the study guide as some unhealthy coping mechanism and I should better opt to just exercise a few Ne Activities to drive myself out of my self and subjective narrative and my family and explore few experiments rather than read every detail and wait till I finish to exercise my functions ? Like see how Ne world is good and come back to reflect .

-----------------------

1. "Feelings" of worthlessness or uselessness are simply judgments (about yourself). In order for judgments to be sound, one must arrive at the conclusions properly, through logic and reason. This is the basis of having good critical thinking skills.

For instance, you say you "fell behind" in career goals due to physical illness. Was the illness intentionally caused by you or was it under your control? If not, should you hold yourself responsible for the consequences of being ill? Are you going to call every physically ill person in the world worthless/useless because, through no fault of their own, they have diminished capacity to achieve their goals? If so, I see no difference between you and your mother when it comes to the way you harshly and unfairly judge people.

Are you exercising good critical thinking when you make a judgment or draw a conclusion? If not, you need to improve upon it, in order for Ti to regain control over your cognition. You must have a reliable process of scrutinizing and validating your belief system, otherwise, on what basis are you going to make good decisions for yourself? When Ti is absent, Fe grip will keep haunting you.

2. Trusting the world comes with Ne development. It means venturing out into the world. It means trying and experimenting and seeing what happens. It means going to wherever the opportunities are. It means thinking of ways to make the best use of what you have. It means turning the negative into a net positive.

In other words, Ne is an extraverted function that requires initiative, ingenuity, and action. Ne is not about your predictions of the future; it's about making things happen. You can always find something good to express gratitude for. You can always find a silver lining in a negative situation. You can always visualize potential for change and improvement. But the key is to have an attitude of openness that keeps your eyes and ears attuned to opportunity. Are you nurturing Ne openness in yourself, or are you quick to reject ideas because they are "imperfect"? Whether things are perfect or imperfect is missing the point. The point is that things can be changed as long as you're willing to put in the work to change them.

3. The answer is boundaries. I've already written about the difficulty of drawing healthy boundaries in family relationships, especially parent-child relationships, consult past posts. Because there is so much history and, in some cases, so much bad blood between family members, it's easy to get stuck in negative patterns of behavior, and very difficult to change them even when you want to. Old habits are hard to break.

I always say that an essential aspect of growing up is learning how to view your parents as human beings rather than treating them as mere symbols of your personal ego drama. Was your father a "saint"? Is your mother a "villain"? These are symbols that reveal the flaws and biases of your perception. In the end, your parents are simply people. Every person is multifaceted. If you only ever see one aspect of someone, your eyes need adjustment.

Put yourself in your mother's shoes. Your mother also lives in the bleak sociopolitical environment you live in, with few economic opportunities. She has also experienced disappointments and heartbreaks. She has also had her hopes and dreams dashed. You share a lot more in common with her than you believe. To be clear, this is not meant to be an excuse for her negative behavior but, rather, a call for you to exercise empathy.

When you get a deeper understanding of why people behave as they do, you will be less inclined to blame and more inclined to maintain healthy relationship boundaries. The key to dealing with toxic people is to maintain proper emotional distance from them, rather than getting entangled with them and constantly embroiled in their dramas. To have healthy relationships in general, you must i) know the difference between "my business" and "not my business", and ii) stop involving yourself in things that aren't your business.

Her issues and problems are hers, so don't take them on as yours. It's not your responsibility to satisfy her demands. It's not your responsibility to live up to her expectations of you. Your only responsibility, in moral terms, is simply to be a good person. This raises an important question of whether you understand what it means to be "good". Do you have your own ideas about it or do you default to what your family taught you, since your judgments about yourself closely echo your mother's judgments about you?

Do you know what intergenerational trauma is? It's when families transmit the negative effects of unresolved hurt, pain, suffering, abuse, and trauma from one generation to the next. You are now consumed by pain and anger, not unlike your mom, so are you going to unwittingly transmit it to everyone you come into contact with? Or are you going to be the one to stop the cycle of trauma by taking responsibility for your pain and suffering? By seeking help, you're proving that you care enough to change the situation. I understand that your options are limited for healing your pain and trauma, so I will focus mainly on what you can do on your own.

4. With regard to Anger: If you don't want to end up like your mother, hurting everyone around her, then you have to confront the pain, you have to soothe the anger properly, and you have to challenge yourself to do things differently. This is achieved through Ne. Envision your better self and be it. Envision a better life and live it. Envision more possibilities and bring good ideas to life. By training your mind to be focused on always building something better, there is little space remaining for things like anger and blame.

I completely agree that your family environment is incredibly toxic. However, I cannot agree with blame. Blame is a mental trap. It is an immature and illusory way to feel strong and powerful. It only leaves you worse off physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For all the sound and fury that blame entails, at the end of the day, you remain in pain because you've trapped yourself in perpetual victimhood. Without adequate health and well-being, will you have the mental energy you require for improving yourself and your life?

You can't have it both ways; you can't feed the negative aspects of your psyche and still hope to get back in touch with the positive aspects of yourself. Is the anger worth sacrificing your health and well-being for? Are you attached to the anger because you like the self-righteousness or because you want revenge? If so, you are choosing the negative over the positive, and you must take full responsibility for that choice. If you don't like it, choose differently.

With regard to Despair: When you feel angry, it means that something is broken and requires fixing. In this case, the relationship is broken and your boundaries have been violated. Like any reasonable person, you hope it can be fixed and the love salvaged. However, when confronted with the impossibility of fixing the relationship, despair follows.

Many people get held back and held down by despair because it can feel like a safer emotion than hope. Why? Despair is predictable in that you can maintain the status quo of known pain, whereas hope opens you up to new and accumulative hurt and disappointment through trying and failing again and again. As soon as sinking into despair seems like the better option to you, you are stuck deep in Si loop.

A person with good emotional intelligence doesn't succumb to emotions, rather, they take time to understand them and use them wisely. By putting despair in the right perspective, it can become an incredibly powerful emotion. Despair indicates you've suffered great loss and feel hopeless. However, in order to feel the loss, you must've placed great value on something to begin with. From this perspective, despair can open your eyes to what is most precious and valuable in your life. For example, despair over family conflict reveals how much you value your family, and despair about your career reveals how much you value your future self. When you know what you value most, it's easier to make good decisions for your well-being.

Despair is meant to teach you how to let go of the things you've lost. Oftentimes, people suffer because they are too attached to the things that bring them pain. Being unable to give up the attachment, they must bear the pain as a consequence. Logically, if you don't want the pain of despair, you must let go of the attachments that bring you despair.

Some people might misinterpret "letting go" as license to "detach" from the world and live on a metaphorical island, abandoning all the things they don't like. Quite the contrary. These people have failed the first test of emotional intelligence because they believe that their emotions are caused by external factors, so they try to cut out those factors.

The fact is that your feelings and emotions belong to you. They are generated by you, therefore, it is up to you to either answer them or change them. Your feelings are closely tied to your beliefs about the world, the way you think about things, and the way you judge things. When I say that you need to "let go", it means you have to change the way you think, give up old ideas, so that your beliefs better line up with your new reality. When you let go of mental attachments that distort your view of reality, you become much more capable of participating in reality. You will no longer feel bound and trapped by your own imagined expectations of how the world "should" be.

Career Example: Have you heard the saying "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry"? No matter how well you plan things, unexpected accidents or misfortunes still happen. While it's good to have plans and look forward to achieving goals, it's not good to be so single-minded that you are incapable of adapting to change. When plans go awry, you are encountering a crossroads and have to make a decision about which way to go. Do you try to keep going with the same plan? Do you tweak and adjust the plan to better suit the change of circumstances? Do you abandon the old plan and come up with a new one? These are all possible strategies.

Family example: Do you understand that a toxic relationship dynamic requires two people to keep it going? Both you and your mother are attached to ideal images of how the other "should" be. By imposing these images upon each other, you are both failing to respect each other, you are both violating the boundary that should exist between you as separate and independent individuals, and you are both hurting each other with harsh judgments and criticisms. While you might keep your judgments and criticisms to yourself more than she does, their very existence represents something negative within you that wants to lash out and be violent. She most likely inherited that violence from her family growing up and she has now transmitted it to you, which means it is now yours to deal with. All of us have inherited some negative things from family. It's part of your personal journey of growth to become aware of them and change them.

To a certain extent, you "allow" your mother to hurt you because you love her. If she were anyone else, you probably would've abandoned them long ago for such nasty behavior, or you wouldn't even be bothered by their criticism. Your mother's behavior brings you pain because you want her approval and love. However, if you were to drop your attachment to what you believe she "should" be (e.g. a loving, nurturing, motherly saint), you may suddenly find yourself capable of seeing the reality of what she is. When you take time to see and understand people more objectively (i.e. practice empathy), you won't take their behavior so personally. The reality is that her behavior isn't directed at you. Her behavior is an expression of her own pain and suffering, directed at her own failures and dashed hopes. But you take it personally because she's failing to meet your expectations of her, and then you fashion her into a villain. Think more reasonably: If you believe you ought to have the freedom to be you, you also have to grant others the freedom to be who they are.

The takeaway point is that the way through despair is to let go of the attachments that bring you pain. It could be attachment to an idealized image of how people/you "should" be, an ideal concept of "meaning", or an ideal path that you have set for your life. Ideals are mere mental constructs, so they can be changed at will. You defined them, so you can "undefine" them and redefine them. Attachments that lead you to deny reality are like a black hole in your mind, sucking up all your mental energy. By letting them go, your mind becomes truly free for something new. But you have to be brave enough to leave the known behind and venture into the unknown with fresh eyes, open mind, and different choices -> Ne.

5. I don't consider it my place to tell people how to live their life. You need to learn how to exercise your best judgment, which means ensuring that your process of making decisions is fair, impartial, objective and well-informed. In terms of your mental health, it's a good idea for you to get out of the home as much as possible, away from your mother's abuse. Try to find safer spaces to explore your ideas and possibilities. Try to engage in activities, interests, or hobbies that bring you some relief, even joy. Try to make friends with people who can bring you comfort or help you out of your situation.

[nsb-rkive]

Hello:)

Hello everyone!

I hope you are doing fine:)) So i know i've disappeared for a long time but many things happened, starting from the loss of someone really important to me, to me failing french class and having to study all summer because i gotta take an exam on august 28th.

After my french exam, hoping that i'll pass, i'll try to be more active on this account but with a few changes. First of all, I've decided that i will no longer write about nsb, simply because i completely lost my interest in what they do and i don't see the reason why i should keep writing about them. I'll write all the requested fics and my drafts (which r abt nsb), but after doing so I'll change topic and username.

I'll probably change topic to enhypen (mainly) and maybe some other groups that i stan, so if u have requests feel free to ask me:))

By saying so, i wish you a good summer:))

Sorry again and see ya in september!!

Ps. thank you so much for the +300 followers😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ilysm💕💕💕💕

[hchalma]

[1926]

all my life i just know a sincere guy, a person who stares deeply and gently to give me together with other people i don't know one of them is your gift lucky i choose your ring and see you proud of my choice with those shining eyes i'm glad to hear that what i choose is your ring.

sorry before I refused with bad words because I was nervous, and I was really hit when I was playing at my friend's house and my friend said if you like me, I gave my best so that you would forgive me and suddenly you gave me a ring, forgive my attitude that ever made you disappointed that time.

I'm happy to know you from the start, there is no word of regret in my life knowing you although I'm sad we have to end up being strangers because of the lack of communication and the rumors circulating are not true, we just misunderstood.

--

you are always different when my grades are low or below you, I'm the one you get mad at when I ask answers to questions I can't because I don't want to read and you suddenly send me pages of a book but I tell you to try to find it yourself and give me advice.

before I get a rating with u, why did you ever trust me to ask me for answers? even though my answer is not necessarily correct and you ask for thanks even though I'm stupid my rank is far below you ;)

thank you for your little attention, I was a new student at that time and you gave me enthusiasm from the beginning when I met you who called me loudly when I was passing by your house being invited to go around grandma to be honest your voice still remembers in my head now you're an adult huh ;), you also pay attention when you pass my house and you ask the next day, ,thank you for giving a surprise to my house with friends to my house and you in class gave thanks to mom, thank you when I joined the scouts suddenly there was a scout pocket book there was my name with flowers even though I didn't get it.

I'm sorry I had trouble getting the signal so I didn't know your message came in and you arrived at school, you once asked me why I was drunk on the bus and when I got on the rotary ride you joined me ;) You're not disgusted with me like that, so the next day we will skip school together.

Why do you always look at me sincerely with your smile I'm nervous when you look at me for a long time like me you are proud of even though I am far more than lacking, you have also seen me until you are reprimanded by your friends, don't look at me when i sit in the back during the exam you see me dizzy remembering the answers and you stare at me for a long time with your smile i'm embarrassed ;) at other times you are stingy with answers you give me answers thank you very much.

you remember I asked you about your goals you said you didn't know then you asked me and I answered "lecturer" and somehow coincidentally one day we were asked about our goals and you answered first you wanted to be a lecturer my friends said it was the same with my wish and I just answered the lecturer and everyone shouted we are the same, you know I'm already in the seventh semester, turns out it's difficult for lecturers ;)

it's also strange why all the teachers also support us together

You remember the last day of distributing report books in class before we focused on the final semester, we got grades and played in the rain on the field and you looked at me deeply as if it was the last.

do you remember that we also used to wear the same color on school holidays even though we didn't make an appointment?

sorry if I made any mistakes I don't know and there was an issue I was close to other people even though that I just wanted to ask how you were and that person misunderstood, and you are angry stranger to me.

I was devastated when you became different because of that issue, you wanted a different school and I was disappointed with the reason for your answer at that time, I used to want my parents to move schools and I refused but since then I wanted to graduate quickly and different schools my test scores dropped drastically I was very down, after we graduated we lost contact and became strangers, thank you at the end you told me I'm a good person ;) then why do you trust other people more? even though they are used to saying dirty words without knowing the consequences.

I just want to say sorry, thank you, and congratulations to you, sorry for everything in the past, thank you for bringing me to good things, congratulations on your achievements.

oh yeah, I forgot to say your ring, it's not that I didn't wear it, but your ring was broken, suddenly it broke near my mother's window and I put it on the window, not because I was broken, I also cried that time because I couldn't take care of the ring because my finger was too big ;)

sorry I disappeared after that I wanted to calm myself down at that time, and it turns out that we met after three years in an Olympic competition, sorry if I didn't greet you I wanted to greet you but I was scared like before, I also want to ask you do you want to go home together but I'm afraid and I want to come to you we are gone, I'm sorry I want to say this and we are very strangers.

sorry when your mother died I wasn't there, I didn't want to make your mood worse because I was afraid you would be angry and I also don't want to be seen as abusing this meeting as another feeling like friends' thoughts, but to be honest I want to be with you when you're down, me too sad to hear that because I remember three years in a row I accidentally always met your mother even though we never met and that turned out to be the last time I saw your mother.

do you still remember 1926 until your cellphone number used our absent number and that number is very similar to my old cellphone number ;)

slowly I want to get used to being without you like before and disappear, I also since then don't want to have the opposite with my classmates I'm afraid it's like we become strangers.

thank you for changing me this far and I'm happy to have been in the ordinary made proud of you both your gaze, your smile, until the reaction when you receive your ring, thank you for being a sincere person I hope you can take care of the person you love bring him to good things, sorry if you that made me good now i feel bad i'm sorry im an adult for not as good as you woke up back then i hope you meet good people there.

thank you because all my life I have been proud of someone like you where you are very proud and sincere when you are with me, make me feel good and confident, I can be like this too because of you.

I heard that your achievement is very proud because I know you are someone who deserves that achievement, it doesn't matter that the police are not good at this time but you did get it for your own achievements.

forgive my treatment so far which is not as good as it used to be, the me you built is better now it's not like that sorry I ruined it.

you have to take care of whoever that woman is, make her proud of you, choose her, don't let your girl feel alone, don't disappoint, keep being cold besides your girl, don't say or act rudely, appreciate whatever your girl gives you <3

keep spirit you've been through a lot of trouble don't forget to take care of your younger sister, I hope you will still be the person I knew at the beginning as good as that, everything will be made easy, always under God's protection.

bye!

[astrumocs]

🗣 fooor Odarem and Jejune perhaps????

This is a fun combo choice, thank u, Liam. Also, this is from Odarem's perspective and happened in the past!

----- Google Docs Link -----

You haven't been back planet-side for very long, only a couple of hours at most, and the jet lag of space travel is definitely still battering you- it was only your second time back from space, after all. You've gotten pretty good at shaking it off with a caffeinated drink and some snacks from one of your favorite convenience stores, though, so that's where you're headed this evening. In fact, you're already opening the door to the sound of the place's signature bell chime, glancing around to take in the familiar sight.

It's not a particularly special place, but you often came here from Julian's hive to get study snacks and energy drinks; he never liked the energy drinks, but he couldn't deny the need when you were both cramming for exams.

You can't help the bittersweet smile that catches your lips for a moment, losing yourself in the memory. In fact, you probably would've stood there thinking about it for a few more long moments if there wasn't suddenly a little jade-blooded kid peering into your view, fangs glinting under the fluorescent lights.

"You good stranger? You look like you're about to cry."

They have an amused smile on their face, so they're obviously teasing you. You don't mind, you've gotten good at dealing with all types of ragging in the fleet, so a kid doesn't worry you too much.

"Just passing the time." You nod your head towards the counter, where the cashier was currently dozing off. They'd likely had a boring shift and a long night, so you didn't want to wake them yet, it just seemed cruel.

The jade doesn't turn their head, seeming to already be aware of this with no intention of changing their awake status either.

"Haven't seen you around here before, fleet guy, so what brings you here tonight of all nights?" The smile doesn't leave their face, but their eyes are pretty intently scanning your fleet-issued gloves.

Oh, shit, you did forget to change out before going out, huh? You were so tired that it actually slipped your mind, for once. You offer an apologetic grimace to them at the pointed mention.

"Conscripted. Just ah, walking down memory lane. I used to be a frequent flyer here, the hot fries are pretty high tier."

You're trying to keep things calm and civil, but you don't blame other trolls for reacting to you this way either, even the young ones who know better tend to react this way, so you understand where they're coming from.

Their left ear flicks beneath their thin hood, although you're not familiar enough with them to know what that body language means in this case. They study you for a long and intense moment before they look up into your eye again and smirk bigger than before.

"I guess your taste isn't too bad then, old man!"

They toss you a bag of that exact snack- somehow- and then add, "Now shoo, I don't want your type around here. Don't come back on weekends either, I'd hate to kill you."

Their tone of voice is incredibly nonchalant, and their body language is relaxed. You can't help but observe that it seems a little practiced, but you know now isn't the time to try meddling in someone else's affairs when you aren't wanted. You'd only be acting on half a hunch, anyway.

"You seem nice, I'd hate to die...?" you smile in reply as you trail off, waiting to see if they'll at least tell you their name.

Their face falls into a contemplative frown for a moment, eyes flicking to the side in thought before returning back to your gaze with their own steely one.

"J6, but you can call me Junipr."

"Odarem Mortis. I don't suppose you'll let me leave the money for this little treat before seeing me out, would you, Junipr?"

"You can leave it, but I will steal it." they offer, with a playful shrug.

Boy, what a kid. You have hope that they can take care of themself, knowing that you wouldn't be able to offer more than your good wishes in this current part of your life. Taking the change out of your pocket anyway, you just hand it straight to them.

"Here then, for the chat. And keep weekends, they're all yours, I won't be around too long anyhow."

They snatch it from your hands, a momentary spark of awe glinting in their eyes before dissipating and leaving only warry-ness. They take a few steps back from you after that, so you take that as your cue to head out, ears listening intently in case they were to start coming at you out of the blue.

The doorbell chimes again as you exit, and just before the door closes behind you, a couple of words catch your ears.

"Goodbye, Dr. Mortis."

How did they know to call you a doctor?

[hideyseek]

1!!! For the ask game :)

BRAM MY BELOVED FELLOW HAIJI STAN mwah i love to talk about this boy every. single. day. thank u for the opportunity <333

#1 for the wips ask game is narrative!fic, what will hopefully one day be a fic exploring (and trying to explain) what made haiji go back to running after the terrible experiences he had with it in high school + what his future looks like and feels like now that he's re-injured his knee.

They’re singing for him, Kakeru and the others, and he feels detached from the moment. The soft glow of candles, the off-beat chorus. The press of people around him and the darkness around them. He can’t escape his future. Even in thinking about escaping it, it approaches. 

What if every moment is transition, from here on out? What if there is never another moment where he knows his footing? The weeks leading up to Hakone had been miserable, desperate, grueling, and anxiety-filled. But at least then he’d known what he was working toward. At least then he’d had a goal to work toward.

Now, what does he have? Most of a college degree, and final exams in two weeks. So little to show, for so much time spent. He feels like no time has passed. He feels like his high school self, still a child, but the chance to live like that is far behind him now. He cannot dodge his own future, even as he refuses to run toward it. While he is still refusing, it arrives. 

The singing stops, and the silence that it leaves seems to reverberate shrilly. They’re looking at him, some of them smiling gently, even. Haiji makes himself breathe out deep and fast. He exhales, and plunges them all into darkness. 

…

“Did you wish for something, Haiji-san?” Kakeru asks him later, sliding up quietly beside him at the sink. 

Haiji twists the tap off. “Ah,” he says lightly into the silence. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

“You’re surprisingly superstitious,” Kakeru observes, but says nothing more about it. Instead he says, “Here, you dry instead,” and takes a dish right out of Haiji’s hands. 

Haiji picks up a dishtowel without protest, and dries and stacks dishes mechanically. 

He didn’t wish. He hadn’t wished. He hadn’t been able to think of something clear enough to want, that would be enough to thoroughly change him at newly twenty-three from the way he’d been at thirteen, just about to enter high school, with no sense of how high school track would shape him. In his mind were only a list of things he didn’t want, impossible things that it was foolish to not want — no more change, no more loss, no more expectation, no more adaptation, no more uncertainty. He didn’t know what there was to ask for, when even asking would leave him hanging.

[tojikai]

Hey kai

How are you?????

Hope ur doing good

Me currently I'm depressed

As I've told u b4 the exam that I'll be giving on 17th of this month is a really big exam, it'll determine my future, but this year the system was soooo unjust. Usually for exam we get proper 12 months bcs in this exam 11th and 12th grade physics chem and biology come combined and the question paper has a total of 200 questions out of which we have to answer 180 to score full marks (720) in 3 hrs.

U see bcs of corona, unlike other countries, our schooling went downhill

And me being so unlucky, i was in the unluckiest school batches of all, the batch of 2021😭

12th finals got canceled, schooling was also not done properly (and in our country 10th, 12th and then entrance exams literally decide our career)

So, for this entrance exam, most people of my batch from the whole country took a drop (we also gave the entrance exam the same year we 'passed' 12th but since we lacked even the basic knowledge bcs srsly no classes were taken properly during online school, it went really bad)

Now there is, or should i say WAS, an age limit of 25 for general catagory (like its complicated here, there's general catagory which get no benefit and then like sc and st and ews which are protected tribes and castes who dont even have taxes to pay and are literally immune to everything, plus their cutoff for exam is also low AND THEY ALSO HAVE 80% RESERVED SEATS IN ALL COLLEGES....I'm general🥲)

But this year even that was removed(age limit)....so now anyone can give exam...and lets say there are only 10000 seats for us(generals, which btw the others can also get, the 10k seats are just unreserved seats but since their cuttoff is low they can get the seat there....lol) in this exam right? There are 180000+ candidates this year...🥲

U see how unlucky I am?

Now the exam due to corona last year had late counseling rounds which lasted up to april of this year (it decides which college we get) and we gave exam on september, which was also bcs of corona hence late exam

Then....this month we have our exam which barely gave us 9 months to prepare all over again.....we begged the exam conducting body to postpone...they didn't....and if u see the situation the country is in rn (like there are literal floods, landslides and everything going on rn in 24/29 states here) they still wont postpone.....

Idk if u read this

In short I'm very depressed

Students even filed a case in HC but they just ridiculed us and the case was dismissed within 1hr........

.

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Btw i love ur stories 🥲🙂💕

Stay safe and hydrated 👋

I'll be back reading ur stuff after julys over i gues.....bcs I'll be sulking in my room till the 30th....

Bye2🥲👋

hiii, im doing good thank you so much !! but hey, im sorry about that situation. like.. that's unfair for the learners. every aspect of it; the quality of education, the allocation of slots and the time to prepare is a bit unfair to you guys. i mean with the way the education system is going right now, the students made a lot of adjustments for the new methods of the government and different educational institutions, i think it's only fair for them to adjust these factors related to the exams too. that's really sad, cause students are always on the receiving end of the problems, may it be about an issue with the allotted time to review or the slots to be given, students always get the shorter end of the stick bc those in position refuse to adjust :(( im not really familiar with how your education system works but i get why you feel so down. things concerning our future can cause great stress bc it feels like everything depends on it and it probably does, but it's gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine, nonnie !! i hope you feel better soon and i wish you luck on everything !! <33

[tearsofcalamity]

wriofucker's fine by me lol unless u have another nickname that'd be both as accurate & funny!

i wasn't too clear earlier; i think our mandatory education goes up to 9th grade, and then it's like a minimum of 4(ish) years for a uni degree. so it's not all that different lol

nahh im telling you i had one macroeconomics class once and it fried my fuckin brain. only reason i could stand it was because the professor was too right-brained for his own good (he'd start his lectures with a song he liked. i wrote a bunch of barely-relevant shit abt environmental pollution on the exam—he was super passionate abt it—and he just let me pass<3 loved that guy). ik i said it before but good luck on ur studies!! im sure you'll absolutely kill it out there. and, thank sm! i actually finished the short story assignment last night but im too scared to submit it jdhdj

im so glad you've got more kaveh brewing omg he's so<33 bit of a shame you're not into kavetham (they make me bite & scream) but that's just fine; more kaveh/reader for the world! except the world is me and nobody else<3 can u imagine teasing kaveh in public, maybe he's even all nice & plugged up, and you're warning him not to let a single person figure out what's going on bc he's for your eyes only<3 but it's so difficult and you're relentless and it feels so, so good... he doesn't even care about people finding out anymore, but he wants to be a good boy for you... phew. lord have mercy

HAHA WRIOFUCKER IT IS THEN!! happy to have a named anon :D

ohhhh I see I see! okay yeah so it's pretty similar just a few differences! I think the only reason I'm surviving my business/econ work is cause I've got a math-wired brain lmfao. I've got autism ("high functioning" but I don't really like that term for it, I think the more acceptable one is "low support needs") and I got the "math autism" as my friends put it so that's probably a bigger part of it. I like making spreadsheets and working out equations HAHA, also thank you for the well wishes I actually just found out I passed calc 2 with an 82% so I'm very happy about that!! I'm glad to hear you got your short story done as well, sounds like you're moving through it all good <3!!

HONESTLY I don't hate the ships (like either kavetham or haikaveh I think they're different? like some shippers put the top's name first or something?? I'm not 100% sure) like I TOTALLY see the chemistry don't get me wrong, I think it's mainly just that I get so sad seeing like nearly 0 kaveh content without alhaitham included. I love both of them but kaveh's got such a unique and deep story too, yet people often just kinda treat him like an accessory to alhaitham likely cause he's 4 star and haitham is 5 star so it turns me off of the ships a bit </3 still though that's so true MORE KAVEH/READER!!!!

oh don't even get me started on teasing kaveh in public there's so many ways you could do it and each one would make him squirm more than the last... shove a nice little vibrator deep inside of him, remote controlled of course, and enjoy watching his knees practically buckle every time you up the intensity. ooh, maybe he's giving a one-time academic seminar for some kshahrewar students and you just stand in the corner, grinning at him all the while while he shakes and tries his best to keep his voice level, praying his face isn't as red as it feels...

or play around with him in the tavern, sit right next to him and brush your hand along his inner thigh while he squirms, not sure whether he wants to move closer or further way from you... this one's easier to hide since his flushed cheeks could easily be attributed to a bit too much to drink, but once he's grabbing at your wrist to push your hand into his bulge at last, he knows by your stare that he's messed up. I mean, he hadn't kept his promise to be good, had he? guess you'll just have to rail him over his workbench back at home when he least expects it! (totally ignore his needs/pretend he's not acting super horny when you get back at first, though, he'll be so good for you when you finally do bend him over)

[unidentifiedlyingobject]

HIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! U SAID SEND ASKS SO!!! HERE!!!!

1. cats or dogs?

2. kill or be killed? (this is abit of a heavy one, sorry :3)

3. who's ur fav doctor?

4. fav book(s)?

5. [imagine theres a question about whatever u want to talk about here. manu questions if u wish. or none]

i am tryong to think of more questions but i am. sleepy

no pressure to answer them obviously :D

AAAAAA YAYYYY THANK YOUU :]]

ok it turns out I've written A LOT because I can't give simple answers so it's all under the cut

1. CATS ABSOLUTELY I have no cat but I do have a street cat friend called Scotty McSnotty because he dribbles when he's happy and he does a lot of dribbling poor dude anyway he likes to attack me with cuddles if I see him in the morning

2. oh god kill or be killed?????? ok um I really should say be killed but like I'm hugely scared of death so under pressure I would probably say kill

but like --- I would dedicate my life to making up for it? I would fix the prison system and try to eliminate the selling of the weapon I used to kill the person and make sure the person's family/friends get their voices heard and stuff? I mean I'm a pacifist and so I'd probably die in a death fight straight away because it's sort of against my beliefs to actually fight back

realistically I would be killed in a physical fight but if it was less physical then I would shamefully choose kill

:D (insert untimely smiley face here)

3. aaaaghhhhhh this is more dramatic than the last question???? WHO'S MY FAVOURITE DOCTOR??????

ok so I have to admit that I have never watched doctor who episodes in order EVER and it's something I'm planning to do the summer after my final exams

therefore I know basically none of the plot but all of the vibes

BUT I would have to say either the eleventh for his neverending goofiness

OR the twelfth for being like really awesome all the time and also my early childhood doctor as well

BUT THEN I realise AAAAGHAGHHHH THE FIFTEENTH DOCTOR EXISTS????? so that puts a spanner in the works as people say

and yet... I don't know much of him THUS FAR but fifteen is definitely a contender

I apologise bc that was not an AT ALL conclusive answer :]

4. ok I love Patrick Ness books, particularly the Chaos Walking Trilogy because that gets really psychological towards the end, and A Monster Calls because of how evil is passed around all the characters and you start to feel sympathy out of nowhere

and another lovely book is The Graveyard Book (by Neil) and I find it quite comforting because there's something so peaceful and familiar about the graveyard, also the end makes me CRY

also Animal Farm is SO COOL AND IRONIC AND BRILLIANT like FARMYARD ANIMALS BLENDED WITH THE SOVIET UNION TO CREATE A HAUNTING HILARIOUS FAIRYTALE?? absolutely

and recently I've been reading Frances Harding books, such as The Lie Tree which is victorian and feminist and there's a subtle lesbian couple who drive the getaway vehicle at the end too

anyway this makes it seem like I read all the time but it's SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ SOMETIMES it makes me very annoyed because I know I would enjoy the book if I could process sentences properly before moving onto the next sentence - I don't think it's dyslexia tho I think it's just tiredness and adhd

A Face Like Glass also by Frances Harding was my favourite because it was really fantasy and mysterious, it's where they all live in a big cave and there's a bunch of capitalist totalitarianism where the main character gets to experience a rich Upper Class lifestyle because a posh family adopt her, and then she sees the awful conditions of the working class who are hidden away behind distant tunnels and suffer their whole lives for the benefit of the Upper Class, and there's a whole bunch of assassination too :D

but SOMETIMES I read an absolutely brilliant book :)

5. ooooh my own question?? ok I'm going to talk about having to do the Duke of Edinburgh thing T_T

I'm not really sure why I signed up but it was quite simple mostly, except now we have to do an expedition and we have a training day tomorrow

my group isn't Too Bad, I've got the majority of my friends in it

there was a whole confusion with tent sharing (it's old fashioned 'same sex assigned at birth' stuff) because one of my group members is trans and quite passing so the DofE organising teacher got in a bit of a muddle anyway that's resolved

AND THEN there are a few people who got put in random groups with spaces because they didn't have a group, and I'm totally ok with that but our group isn't the kind of group someone would want to be added to. and the guy who joined our group is a mixture of heavily bullied but also deeply homophobic (more as a survival instinct I think) and the only interaction I've ever had with him was telling him to 'will you fucking shut up' because he was homophobically bullying my friend (who also happens to be straight but still) so that's going to be FUN (I don't think he's brave enough to say something homophobic in my presence so he'll just sulk at the back probably)

BUT THEN one of my friend's science teachers helps lead the queer group in school, and she seemed very connected to our group (because 4/6 of us are queer) so she's chosen us to be the group she supervises HOWEVER she is kind of a dick sometimes in that she always HAS to be Right, and I find it a bit frustrating. She also pulls people over for chats, like DEEP chats to do with mental health, and she tries to do it subtly but it ends up being REALLY obvious and awkward

but I am the person in the group who finds it easiest to talk to teachers so I know who I will be socialising the most with :)

therefore: seven mostly queer and mostly adhd teens have to put up and take down three tents, cook meals (I am the only vegetarian in the group and my friends are a bit mean about it but they underestimate how easy it will be for me to just cook my own food) and spend hours walking when only one of us has ever hiked before and we all have a shared LOATHING of PE

that will take up two and a half weekends of my time so I can't wait/s

anyway rant over :P

I have a feeling I know the answer as to whether you prefer cats or dogs, and also your favourite doctor loll, but I'm interested to find out the answer you would give to questions 2 and 4!!!

:D

[astrumavis]

hey! ignore this if u were just letting stuff out and didn't want a reply (to ur vent) i have a difficult exam in a few hours too and it's really stressing me out as well esp since i have not studied enough at all. when i stress out too much (like now sighs) i start feeling sick which is not fun. wishing us both a lot of luck and that we'll do okay. probably doesn't help, being from a stranger and all but i just wanted to say it in case i suppose.

the gifted kid mindset fucking sucks. mf refuses to listen to reason and i hate them. kicking that little fucker in the nuts. if they have nuts. idk. lol.

is there anything you can take for your headache? headache medicine has a different name in every country lol. or like sipping water or having a snack? i'd say maybe look over formulas but then again: headache. or anything that might make you less stressed? i like hugging someone/something really tightly when i'm stressed lol idk if u can do that or even if you'd want to but the idea is if there's anything u can do to get ur mind off the test (which yeah ik is difficult what with it being in a few hours and all) that is healthy maybe try? stick your head out the window if you're inside and get some fresh air or do anything to pass the time until your exam? idk lol

again i wish you all the luck and i hope you do well enough that you are proud of yourself :) and even if you aren't, this random stranger will be lol

sorry for the long message

Fuckindv cryibg this si so nice thank you anony <3