#thankfully trending down for once

[unsupervisedrat]

every time i see "deaths of despair" charts (okay, fine, not that https://www.slowboring.com/p/the-deaths-of-despair-narrative-is) I can't help but wonder at what point we reach the total addressable market for (potentially lethal) drugs and alcohol. So when I saw that it decreased for the first time in a long time in 2023 (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2024/20240515.htm), there was hope that things would get better, but a nagging doubt that, things could not have gotten worse.

alcohol death rates halved between 1917 and 1918 and halved again in 1919 and never recovered? and after prohibition came into effect in 1920, alcohol death rates actually rose slightly?

then, after prohibition was repealed in 1934, alcohol death rates stagnate at about a third of the prewar level until after 1945?

what's going on here?

[theofficialuriel]

true friendship is going on FaceTime, sharing your screen, and going on ao3.

[inloveinsickness]

❝ HUSH ❞ — sakusa kiyoomi

cw. f!reader, fluff, olympics au, athletic trainer!reader, timeskip characters, established relationship, secret marriage, language (omi swears like once), not beta read (sorry!) word count. ~ 1.6k

“japan’s outside hitter sakusa kiyoomi and newly revealed wife, athletic trainer y/n l/n, steals the spotlight in the city of love!”

@tetzoro's summer olympics collab

your eyes glance in his direction, letting it linger on his figure as the team settles down into their corner. he’s a little tense, understandably so– it’s his first time at the olympics, and with the pressure of the finals sitting on his shoulders, the nerves are showing, though carefully hidden behind his standard resting face that you can see through so well. the lights hanging along the ceilings of the south paris arena cast a tasteful warm glow along the contours of his face. despite the subconscious clenched jaw and slightly downturned lips that make you want to kiss the frown off so badly, there’s a shine in his eyes like no other.

the last few days have been pretty rough, of stiff beds, subpar food and sleeping without kiyoomi. you know he feels the same if the progressively increasing frequency of late night calls and texts are any indication. with the boys sharing rooms in twos amongst themselves and the rest of the team’s staff being housed in a separate wing of the building, falling asleep in his arms was a faraway thought since you arrived at the olympic village.

loml ♡ : miya snores so fuckin’ loudly i can’t handle this me : well it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve dealt with it baby loml ♡ : i still think we should’ve fought harder for us sharing a room

he drifts off into slumber easily after washing up and getting his fill of talking to you (never enough), the mental and physical fatigue of matches and practices in between taking a toll on his body, but for you, being wrapped in his warm embrace was the perfect recipe and vital to a good night's sleep. it’s safe to say that you haven’t been sleeping well for the past week.

it didn’t help that being sworn to secrecy about your relationship also meant that any interactions you had with him outside being the team’s athletic trainer was like treading on eggshells. it feels like you’re in high school again, sitting next to him in the dining hall during meal times with your clasped hands hidden under the table from watchful eyes, his thumb rubbing soft circles against the back of your hand or squeezing ever so often, as if to affirm his presence and silently reassure that i’m here.

it seems to be a trend lately for athletes to be active on their social media platforms, be it their team’s or just a personal account, recounting stories or even taking avid viewers through “a day in the life of an olympic athlete” — without looking too far, even miya jumped on the bandwagon, often seeing suna running around filming short clips of their shenanigans in free pockets of time during the day. you and kiyoomi talked about it before the season began, keeping any non-professional interactions to a minimum. there’s eyes everywhere and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

both of you are very private people, it was only natural that you preferred to keep your personal life and matters to yourselves behind closed doors. this ended up being a double-edged sword, because everyone wants to be all up in your business, especially kiyoomi who finds himself in the spotlight more often, being apart of the “young handsome eligible bachelors” of the MSBY 4 and now one of the most sought-after new additions to japan’s national team.

you on the other hand, were better known by twitter as “the pretty trainer” from the shweiden adlers and now the national team, standing next to another fan-favourite, iwaizumi hajime. thankfully your role is kept more so behind the scenes, checking on the players during games and making sure they remain in tip-top shape on and off the court.

being the quiet and brooding one amongst outgoing chatterboxes meant that the media would try to dig any information out of kiyoomi, but prying interviewers and prodding questions towards him and his love life were smoothly deflected and brushed aside, the boys even coming to his defense if anyone got too pushy with it, which you were beyond thankful for. not that they needed to most of the time, he’s known to be curt with his responses and quick to bring the topic back to the game, and no one likes a snappy sakusa anyway, many have learned this the hard way.

just months prior to the both of you getting called in to begin training for the olympics and before schedules start to pick up, you had a small private wedding in your hometown with just close friends and family, the ceremony kept under lock and key and tucked away from the public eye. it made it all the more intimate, more like a quiet gathering to celebrate your union than a grand spectacle, which suited you perfectly. the honeymoon hasn’t happened yet with the timing of everything, you’re saving it for post-season when you both can finally take a break and relax for a little while.

you won’t deny that there are some days where you wished that things were different, and that you could openly express your love for each other without scrutiny and attention being on you, but alas, that is to be expected as someone exposed to the public eye.

the olympics is your first public appearance as married individuals, not that anyone particularly cares about your status, their eyes instead zeroing in on kiyoomi and the chain around his neck carrying a shiny new silver band. it's safe to say that judging by the scowl on his face and the chatter buzzing around the front rows of stands as the team settles into their side of the court, his “mystery wife" is the new talk of the town.

when he comes over to you during timeout, his eyes meet yours bashfully as you hand him a bottle, fingers brushing against yours in an unspoken apology. you just smile and lightly pat his back as he turns to join the team huddle. there’s nothing to be sorry for, silly.

these little moments mean everything to you, even though it looks like nothing in the grand scheme of things. just being there with him and coming together with a shared passion even if it's in different fields of the broader spectrum of sport, fills you with a sense of happiness and content. watching him in his element and being able to support him on the sidelines through it all, you'd never trade that for the world.

and as you’re sitting at the edge of your seat with your bum hanging on for dear life, you lean forward with your hands pressed together, the top of your index fingers resting against the tip of your nose like a pseudo prayer. match point.

it feels like you’re watching the longest rally of your life and like a bad habit, your knee begins bouncing up and down in your nervousness and anticipation. iwaizumi too, is so engrossed in the play at hand that he doesn’t notice, or maybe he just doesn’t care enough in this moment to stop you with his usual slap to your thigh and a chiding comment, “stop it, even my grandma back in sendai can feel the tremours from your goddamn knees.”

with bated breath, you watch kageyama tosses one beautiful arc of a set to kiyoomi as he leaps into the air and makes contact with the ball.

with a powerful spike, he is a force to be reckoned with, sending the ball home as the opponents dive to save it, their arms hands and fingers stretching out in a last ditch attempt to connect and rescue the point, but to no avail. the ball lands with a harsh thud and as he stands tall above their groveling, the whistle blows and the crowds roar.

your arms instinctively raise in a cheer, and in the next moment they’re closed over your mouth, tears pricking your eyes as you stumble over your feet and scramble to get up. as the team rushes towards him with shouts of celebration, his eyes immediately dart in your direction, softening as he sees you dashing over. with knowing smirks and crescent moons for eyes, the boys follow his line of sight and give him firm slaps on the back, parting the hoard for you and giving just enough room for him to uncharacteristically swoop you up in his arms and crash his lips into yours, all caution thrown to the wind.

all the noise halts and time stands still, everything fades away and nothing else in the world matters in the moment, not the people, not the cameras, just the overwhelming rush of joy and pride, and love, oh love, swelling from the depths of your chest and your heart bursting at its seams.

your senses flood with everything kiyoomi, from the way the sweaty strands of his hair at the back of his neck feel on your fingertips, his cheeks dampening from your tears, the nudge of his nose against yours, and the press of his smile on your locked lips. he breathes out and you breathe him in, letting all of his being rest in the room in your heart saved specially for him, seeping into every corner of your soul.

when you inevitably pull apart for air, the current predicament doesn't exactly click in your mind just yet until he grabs your hand and pulls you into his side, shielding you from the onslaught of reporters and press looking to get a fresh scoop on the hottest piece of news. with blown out eyes, you look at him in a daze and disbelief, did that really just happen?

the smug smirk on his face says it all.

the matching silver bands on your finger and hanging around his neck, it was always there. for the longest time it was your little secret, and now a declaration of love and devotion — not even a shiny new gold medal could compare.

© yogurtkags. please do not repost, plagiarise, or translate my work.

[neeeooon]

hii! do you think I could ask for a maybe yukimiya and bahia (and whoever else you want ofc!) with the trend “a boy whose jacked and kind”. I know this trend is long over but i cannot get yuki out of my mind n i feel like he would love this trend ahh❤��❤️

tysmm and have a great day/night :))

ashamed to say this is the first time i’ve heard if this trend lmao BUT TY FOR THE REQUEST 💛

“a boy who’s jacked and kind” trend with them ;

bf bllk x gn!reader

yukimiya kenyu

-> asking you questions the entire time. “is it okay if i put my hands here?” “what about here?” “does that hurt?” “are you okay?” and you keep assuring him that you’re fine

-> raises you up onto his shoulder slowly so that there’s no chance of you falling. keeps his grip secure and his eyes on you as you smile and wave at the camera

-> you blush as you watch the video back. kenyu doesn’t look at the camera once, his eyes only on you as if checking to make sure you’re okay the whole time he’s holding you

-> “it’s perfect,” you say when yukimiya asks, though you know this is one of those videos you’re keeping for yourself only

bachira meguru

-> “you trust me not to drop you?” “yes? should i not..?” “no, you can trust me! i gotchu, y/n!”

-> he does not got you

-> it took a few attempts, and thankfully bachira was able to catch you every time you tipped back over his shoulder, but you got the footage!

kunigami rensuke

-> practices with chigiri, which you film and post as a blooper reel for your video

-> when it’s finally your turn, chigiri films and your boyfriend lifts you onto his shoulder with ease. he gives your thigh a gentle pat before letting you down

-> you are not pleased when kunigami and chigiri’s video gets more views than yours, and chigiri thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world

barou shouei

-> he said no until you told him you’d ask nagi instead. suddenly he’s super eager to help you!

-> he’s pretty stoic the entire time, but he is secure and doesn’t show any ounce of struggle as he effortlessly sweeps you off your feet

-> you’re giggling the whole time, thrown off at the feeling of being so tall, and as barou’s lowering you back down, he drops you into a bridal carry to kiss you before setting you back on your feet

-> “you had to kiss me, hm?” “mhm. make you think twice before you threaten to go to nagi or anyone else for something.”

michael kaiser

-> mf TOSSED you into the air to get you on his shoulder, and you sat there gripping his head for dear life as he flexed in front of the camera

-> “bro, put me down!” “i thought you wanted to do this trend together?” “i might have a fear of heights!”

-> needless to say, people loved the banter between you two and begged for you to make more videos with your “pretty boyfriend”

shidou ryusei

-> he lives to do silly little tiktok trends with you. it’s one of his favorite past times

-> you trust him 110%, even when he says he’s your slipping, despite the fact that his grip has not changed around your thighs

-> “you play too much.” “you know i’d never really drop you~” “yeah. cause you know that if you do, i’m dropping a coconut on your head next.” “!!”

[sunrisecaminus]

hello! I had an hurt/comfort idea and wanted to share it with you :3

So imagine a optimus x Cybertronian! Reader who is their conjuex, but because of the effects of war and toxic atmospher of other planets, the reader has become devoleped acidic traits, and causes burns when touched, because of this theyre rejected by Cybertronian society.

How would optimus react to this? would optimus comfort them? Or Would he leave them too?

Message - This was an interesting take. I think a lot of these ideas could be put into their own long fanfics. I think everyone has the possibility to write their own stories. I have forever ago made a fanfic that was my own universe from a different fandom. I thought it wouldn't be read, but a lot of people still read it. You should write your own universe about this, or any idea you have in your head. People will enjoy it, no matter how much you don't think so. I hope this could motivate you anon, or others who read this. A lot of people need to hear it.

Optimus x Acidic Reader

Summary - Optimus comforts cybertronian conjunx who as an acidic touch and is disowned by others.

Warning - None

Fanfic Type - Comfort

After the horrible incident with you, everyone thought you were a lost cause. The scouting missions has been making you weaker and weaker, making you go through sludge and nucleon. People didn't want you to do these terrible missions, but once they are asked if they want to switch positions and go through what you are doing, they all reject the question. Optimus was the one who saw you face first on the ground from not finding you for days. The mission was one of your last, as you have been getting treatment from Ratchet ever since. Surprisingly, you survived the event, figuring out your body couldn't handle it anymore and shut down. Ratchet explains that your body was laying in the acidic environment for too long and now you can not be touched, or it would give harmful side effects to others. You are able to leave the hospital and be on your own, having your own base for yourself that is sanitized almost everyday to keep the place unaffected by your body. No one really ever visits you except Ratchet or Optimus. People don't want to take the chance to be hurt, so a lot of your "friends" send you gifts. Ratchet has announced that you were not contagious from you daily frame care routine. It was like you are the plague, it was like you turned into some monster. You hated being alone, but you couldn't change people's minds by lashing out.

Optimus has been noticing this horrible trend with you, people sounding like they care about you by saying "Oh yeah, poor y/n." Or "I hope everything gets better for them." They wondered why you always got upset with them, calling them fake and cowards. He understood people's fears, but honestly he was more understanding of you. You two loved each other, and ever since this horrible accident, he has not been able to see you for weeks. He felt so bad, sending you as many letters as he could on how much he misses you. He made sure to tell you that he would be able to see you tomorrow morning and stay over night. You were thrilled to hear that your lover would be able to visit, finally someone that sees you as a person. You have been worried though, maybe once he touches you, he realizes he couldn't do this with you anymore? Not wanting to think about, you ate your meal and took some of the shots that Ratchet Recommended to you. These daily shots have been the reason why you are not in pain or dying. Thankfully, Ratchet sends you a box filled of them for a few years each. It was very easy to make such shots, the bad part was that they can expire quickly and only last two years, so he always has to make more every time you need them.

You go to your birth and wake up in the morning. Grabbing a broom, you sweep up and clean the base as much as you could. Spraying the place with freshener was a must, your acid smells like burnt lead or hair. You open the fridge and drink an energon cube that was already half empty. Some of your symptoms was not needing to eat as much and aching in the stomach. Other symptoms are dangerous to other people, like burning people's frames. You grab some wood logs and go outside. One of the fun things you did before the acid accident, was chopping the organic wood and carving cool shapes of Cybertron. You have made a little Cybertron city in your front yard, making an excuse to Ratchet that they were just blocks of logs that you can train your flexibility with, basically, your make-shift physical therapy. Placing the log, you start to use your knife to chip away at the bark. Earth was a place you would love to learn more. You had no hate for this place, as the beauty of it should be seen by others around the universe who don't get such a beautiful planet. You hear nothing, but the wind, and a rumbling engine. Turning your head around, you see your conjunx's altmode driving over to you. He transforms and gives you a lovely smile. The smile was something you missed, and wanted to just hug him close…but you couldn't.

"It's nice to see you again, my love," Optimus speaks first, walking over to the little wooden town you made. He observes the art and picks up your knife you dropped on the carving table. He hands it to you and as you take it back, he looks at your hand. "You don't look any different." Sighing from his response, you put the knife back in your subspace. "I know, has anyone told you otherwise?"

…

It has been a few hours of peaceful silence; Optimus has gotten comfy and looks around the place. He knows you as a messy person, so seeing the entire place clean was hilarious. He knows you really haven't gotten visited by anyone, so it might've been such a mess, you knew you had to clean or Optimus wouldn't want to be in the house. You sit on a separate chair and hand him an energon cube, which he takes. Looking down to look at your own hands, you tell Optimus everything that has been happening. You tell him about all your friends not coming to visit, a lot of mechs being afraid of you, and that no one looks at you as a Cybertronians anymore. The prime looks at you and listens to every word you share with him. He tries to think of what to say and takes a sip with his energon cube. He opens his subspace and takes out a box. "Maybe, you can be normal again." At first, you were very confused on what Optimus was saying, watching as he opens the box. After, you realize what he was going to do after he brings out a see-threw makeshift armor plate. "No, it won't work". You step away from him as he gives it to you. "It is obviously a practice armor. Ratchet wants to see if it could work though as the material used to make it can't be burned. If it works he will try to make it a type of wax you can buff on yourself so you don't have to wear something so clunky." You just watch as he walks over to you and hands you the frame pieces. You see that all the pieces would cover your entire body except your head. You put it one, nervously not wanting to give any hope. It was a bit clunky on you, feeling as though it had layers of protection. Optimus looks at you and gets a bit closure. "No, what if it doesn't work! What if it dissolves the armor! Go-" You get interrupted by him hugging you fully. His chest connects with yours and his arms wrap around your waist. You froze, you waited for something to happen. Just imagining the scream of your conjunx…but it never happened. It was quiet for a few minutes, Optimus didn't let go. He waits patiently for you to move or to speak, which you do at least one of them. You hug him finally. You hug him so tight, it was like he would disappear if you let go. This was one of the first ever times you have gotten touched in weeks after the incident. Your body was so touch starved, melting in Optimus' arms. His servos rub your lower back and lean his head on your shoulder. He was not scared of you, he was never scared of you.

You didn't know what else to do, but cry. His embrace is all that you wanted and it filled you with happiness. Optimus lets go to hold your hands and look into your optics. "You were never a monster. You were always the love of my life."

[munsonfamilyband]

(Not) Getting Married Today

I posted about this idea I had based on the song Getting Married Today from the 2018 London cast of Company last week and I finally had the motivation to write it up.

This is going to actually be a submission for @stmarchmm for day 14: second chance romance (and sort of day 24: arranged marriage/bond of convenience).

As this is also a songfic, it may help to look at the lyrics and/or listen to the song especially since the vibe of the song is pretty consistent with Steve's emotional state for most of this fic.

Bless this day Pinnacle of Joy Boy unites with boy The heart leaps up to behold This golden day

The singing echoed out from the church hall into the "bridal suite". Just calling it that almost made Steve laugh. The "suite" was just a back room that had been repurposed for him to get ready before his wedding. It smelled like moth balls and the chair he was sitting in was barely better than a folding metal one. It's all so sad that he would laugh if it weren't for two important details.

His mother was currently standing directly behind him, pinning his hair into place. And, more importantly:

He's barely avoiding a full blown panic attack (which is being held back by his mother's oppressive presence and his heart breaking).

The conflicting emotions on his face must have shown somewhat, because his mother stopped what she was doing suddenly and placed the hair pins in her hand on the table in front of Steve. She then carefully leaned in to press her cheek to Steve's in a half-decent attempt at compassion.

"I know you're nervous, so was I on my wedding day. But when you get to the end of that aisle all the nerves will fall away and all you'll have to do is say 'I do' to Paul and then you two can live your lives together. Today is for you, Stevie. Paul is going to cherish and keep you, forever."

Steve gave her a small smile that even he could tell was barely more than a grimace. He knew she was trying to be comforting but all he could focus on was his panic. He needed to be alone, and soon, or he was going to lose it. "Thanks, mom. I'm sure I'll be fine once the ceremony starts."

She gave him a smile and a quick kiss to the cheek before straightening up and resuming her work on his hair.

Thankfully, she finished quickly and pinned his veil in place before stepping back and helping him stand to go over to the standing mirror that had been brought in. His mother was practically beaming at him from her reflection but Steve could hardly recognize himself.

His mother had insisted that he just had to follow the current trends for omega wedding fashion so he's in a dress with too much lace and sleeves that are too puffy. It has a high collar made of, of course, more lace and he lost count of the number of layers in the skirt. Sure, the dress is nice and it fits him well but it's definitely not what he had pictured for his wedding day. At least he was able to convince his mom to let him pick the veil and hairpiece. So, instead of the giant poofy veil and tiara his mother wanted, he was wearing a simple veil with a thin lace trim and a simple flower crown that El had made from fabric flowers. Even his scent had been smothered in perfumes courtesy of his mother. Her joy was only grating on his already fraying nerves with every second, so he forced his best smile and made eye contact with her in the mirror. "Thanks for helping me get ready. Do you think you could go check on everything out there and give me a bit to myself?"

She smiled somehow wider and gave his shoulders a squeeze. "Of course, sweetie. Your father will come get you when it's time to go. I'll see you out there." And with one last kiss to his cheek, she was leaving and shutting the door behind her.

A beat.

A deep breath.

And Steve was rushing over to lock the door, pressing his back against it as if angry Russians were going to try to break it down. He took two gasping breaths before he was off, pacing the small jail cell room.

"Okay, Steve, you can do this. You can go out there and get married. You asked for this." As he paced, he caught his own gaze in the standing mirror and he stopped, staring at himself. Could he really do this? Sure, he agreed to it but only because of, well...

Following the Spring Break from Hell in '86 Steve found himself in a whirlwind relationship with one Eddie Munson.

Steve from before the Upside Down could have never imagined the future Steve was now experiencing but that Steve was an idiot. Eddie is everything he had ever wanted in a mate but could never quite put in words.

He's kind to a fault, cares about his family with his whole self, and he truly understands Steve in a way that no one but Robin ever had. Not to mention he was gorgeous and he smelled like heaven - campfire smoke and fresh cut grass with bits of cinnamon and pine. The first time Steve realized his nest had taken on scents other than his, and how well they meshed with his own lilac, lemongrass, sage and summer rain, he didn't stop purring for hours.

Everything was perfect for once in his life. The Upside Down was gone, everyone was back in Hawkins and closer than ever, and he was well on the way to courting with his dream alpha. But then, his heat was late.

Steve tried not to panic, it didn't mean he was pregnant. His doctor had said that going off suppressants and the sudden lack of stress in his life could mess with his schedule. But then it didn't come after a week. Then two weeks. And halfway to three weeks, Eddie asked about his heat and Steve broke down crying.

Once Eddie calmed Steve down enough, he called Robin and told her they would be picking her up. Eddie drove them to the pharmacy, bought a couple pregnancy tests - and ran into Joyce while there who said to try one now and then again the next week in case it's a false result - and picked Robin up on the way back to Steve's house. They both sat with him for the 10 minutes and then they both held him when nothing turned blue. And sure enough his heat came a few days later, which he spent at Eddie's place.

Unfortunately, when Steve got back a few days later he walked into the house only to be confronted by both of his parents standing next to the dining room table. And on top of that table was the remnants of the pregnancy test packaging.

It was a screaming match between him and his parents, his father red in the face and his mother sobbing loudly. It only ended when his father scruffed him and dragged him to his room, locking Steve inside. As he banged on his door, screaming for his dad to let him out, he heard the front door slam and a car leaving the driveway.

His father never did tell him what he did that day, though Steve had his own ideas. He tried to not linger on those ideas, they just made it harder.

After that day, Eddie stopped contacting Steve completely. The one time Steve tried to call him his father stole the phone before he could even get a full word out.

He got sick after that, and it only got better when his mother finally agreed to let him see Robin, but the message was clear to both of them. The only way Robin would be allowed to see Steve was if neither of them mentioned Eddie.

Slowly he got better, but the rejection sickness never fully went away. His mother kept trying to set him up with people and he kept refusing until 1991, when the loneliness and desire for a family won out over the betrayal. He agreed to meet someone.

And now he was supposed to be marrying him. By all meanings of the word, Paul was an excellent alpha. He was gentle if sometimes too quiet, handsome even if he didn't have the big brown eyes in Steve's dreams, and he smelled nice enough but in the end it came down to the fact that he deserved more than Steve.

Maybe he could go out there and just say, "Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I want to thank you all for coming to wedding, I'd appreciate your going even more. I mean, you must have lots of better things to do, and not a word of this to Paul, remember Paul, you know, the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is, but I thank you all for the gifts and the flowers, thank you all, now it's back to the showers, don't tell Paul but I'm not getting married today-" He cut off with a gasp for air, having just worked himself to near hyperventilation.

Just as he was about to try the little speech again he heard the music from the church again followed by a knock on the door.

"Steven, it's time to go," his father's voice came from the other side of the door.

Steve took one last look in the mirror and took a deep breath, pushing his shoulder back and stabilizing himself. "I'm coming." As he unlocked and opened the door, he could have sworn he caught a whiff of pine and cinnamon before it was gone.

Bless this day Opposite of joy Boy gets yoked to boy The heart sinks down and feels dead This dreadful day

Steve felt like he was watching from outside of his body as he was escorted down the aisle by his father and he lifted the veil over Steve's head, only coming back to himself when Robin stepped up to take his bouquet with a sad smile and a quick squeeze of his hand.

Steve returned the smile and turned to face Paul. Paul looked so happy and it just made Steve feel worse but it was as if his feet had turned to lead and his mouth had been cemented shut. He barely heard the vicar speaking but as Paul started his vows he tried to focus except he suddenly caught that same scent again. He could feel someone staring at him and he had to just take a quick look, just to convince himself he's imagining things. It'll be fast, just a scan of the pews and he'll be able to get back to his weddi-

Halfway through his scan, Steve felt the world stop rotating. He was there. Eddie was there, at the very back of the church.

He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and just staring directly at Steve. He looked, well, he looked good. His hair was still the same, long wild curls, but it looked healthier and he had grown a beard. He was wearing all an all black suit and he skipped the tie, instead leaving the top few buttons of the dress shirt undone.

Steve could have sworn he wasn't even breathing, just making eye contact with Eddie for the first time in 6 years. He looked so different but Steve still felt the exact same feelings surging up to the surface, almost dizzy with it and-

"Steve."

He blinked rapidly and turned to face Paul who had just whispered his name and quickly realized that he was supposed to say his vows. Almost without his control, Steve glanced back at Eddie, noticing that he had stopped leaning against the back wall, his arms no longer crossed over his chest.

"I'm not getting married," Steve whispered, not even aware he had said it outloud until Paul called his name again.

The world started spinning again and Steve remembered where he was, what was happening. He made eye contact with his parents, glanced back at Robin, then turned to Paul fully.

Steve whispered a quick, "I'm so sorry," to Paul before he turned to the gathered crowd. "Thank you all for coming but I'm not getting married today. Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for, a wedding, what's a wedding? A prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me like he should-" The crowd gasps, but all Steve notices is Eddie taking a single slow step forward. "So listen, thanks a bunch but I'm not getting married. Go have brunch, but I'm not getting married. You've been grand, but I'm not getting married. Don't just stand there I'm not getting married today!" Steve did recognize that he's seemingly falling apart at the altar, but no one was moving and he needed them to understand.

"Go, can't you go? Why is nobody listening? Goodbye, go and cry at some other person's wake. If you're quick, for a kick, you could pick up a christening, but please, on my knees, there's a human life at stake! Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to see a crazy person fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Paul who may be ruining his life! I'm not well, so I'm not getting married." At that point Steve was pulling pins from his own hair and just tossing them to the floor, desperate to get the veil off his head. "You've been swell, but I'm not getting married. Clear the hall 'cause I'm not getting married. Thank you all, but I'm not getting married. Look, you know I adore you all but why watch me die when I'm only being nice? So take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice." He finally got his veil free and threw it aside, quickly followed by the shoes he kicked off before moving on to the too tight collar of the dress.

"Look I think I'm gonna faint, so if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily, but wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral? So thank you all for the twenty seven dinner plates, and thirty seven salad bowls, and forty seven picture frames and fifty seven candleholders, but I'm not getting married!" With a gasp he finally gets the buttons undone on the collar. "See? I'm not getting married. No, I'm not getting married today."

When he finishes he's breathing heavily, chest heaving with each breath as he looks around the room. He sees Eddie starting to walk toward him just as people start standing and shouting in the pews, slowing him down. Steve makes eye contact with his dad who is nearly purple with rage and quickly averts his attention to Paul, grabbing one of his hands in two of his own.

"Paul, I'm so sorry to do this, but I can't marry you. You deserve someone who truly can love you, but that isn't me. I wish I could explain it all to you now but I need to run before my father gets to me."

Paul stares back at him and Steve watches some kind of understanding flash across his face. "Go, I'll try to slow him down. Whatever you're looking for, I hope you find it."

Steve grabbed Paul's hand tight in his, "Thank you thank you thank you. Hopefully we can talk at some point so I can explain everything." With one last squeeze of Paul's hand, Steve pivots and starts to run, grabbing his skirts in one hand and Robin's hand in the other.

They crash through the side door of the church into a side hallway and Robin takes the lead, guiding them through the back halls to an exit door and suddenly Steve is gasping in the fresh air, feet stinging as he steps on the concrete.

"I can't believe you actually did that! Steve! What was that back there, I thought you were okay with marrying Paul, what change-" Robin's nervous rambling was cut off sharply by a new voice and a wave of smoke and cinnamon.

"Stevie?"

Steve had been bent at the waist, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath but that one word had him standing up so quickly he nearly fell over, only staying upright by Robin grabbing his arm.

But there was Eddie, only a few feet away. His eyes big and brown, his hair ruffling with the light breeze, and god, had Steve missed him so much.

"Eddie. It's really you." That got Eddie to crack a smile, his dimple popping up on his cheek. They seemed to be moving together like magnets, slow steps toward each other until they were breathing the same air.

"Hi, sweetheart. I've missed you."

Steve didn't even bother responding, he just jumped at Eddie, finally able to kiss his alpha for the first time in years. And with that one kiss, being back in Eddie's arms once again, Steve felt his broken heart finally weave itself back together.

Eddie drove the three of them to get all of Steve's important things and then Wendy's. A few months later they get married in a small ceremony and Steve gets to wear the dress of his dreams. They have all of their chosen family present and they eat cake and dance barefoot. The Steve of a few months prior couldn't see a future this full of joy.

And there it is! Hopefully it's coherent, this kind of exploded out of my brain. I also want to make sure everyone knows that Steve did meet up with Paul a couple weeks after the wedding the didn't happen. They sat down and Steve explained the whole history with his parents and Eddie, then Paul gets to meet Eddie and after some awkwardness and hurt feelings they ended up being friends. Paul does go to Steve and Eddie's wedding reception (he said it was too soon to go to the ceremony which Steve fully understood) and a couple years down the road, the Munson's get to attend Paul's wedding to a sweet girl who is a much better match for him.

I did want to include some visuals for Steve's two wedding dresses because I have very specific vibes in mind for both.

This one is almost identical to how I picture the one he's wearing for most of the fic, the only difference is the veil/headpiece are the pictures on the right.

THIS DRESS!! This is what he wears for his and Eddie's wedding, except it doesn't have the higher neckline. Steve's just has the ruffles as the neckline (anything above the red line in the image to the right is gone in Steve's dress).

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

30% Off

Pairing: Hawks x reader

Summary: In the end of the world, death around every corner means you don’t exactly get much time to pleasure yourself. Thankfully, someone you’ve had your eye on is more than willing to help

Warnings: smuttttt; edging; language; apocalypse AU; the 'monster cocks' that I found in a Spencer's the other day.

(I originally wanted to write this for an AIB character, but it's been a while since I've touched on Hawks so I literally just did it again with him.)

Your fingers flit through a small sea of heavy fabrics, each embroidered with some colorful design of whatever video game or anime character had been trending when the world stopped.

Apparently, it had been Gojo, the white outlines of his hair a stark difference to the black of the hoodies base framework.

The material was heavy and warm, hiding your fingers from the damp chill in the air as you slid them underneath to find the price tag.

$49.99

The notion of one piece of clothing being nearly worth a young teens entire shift made your eyebrows tug upward.

Slipping the cloth off of its hanger, you gently ripped the price tag off, letting it fall to the floor as you snuck an arm into one of the sleeves.

Once upon a time, you would have cared about the littering, but it wasn’t as if rest of the mall didn’t look any different.

It was getting increasingly hard to care about things like that.

Instead, you focused on the comfort of your newfound treasure. Taking what you wanted was one of the few benefits you reaped in a place like this.

The mall doors had been hard to pry open, but a crowbar and a few minutes had done just fine. With a few days of peace before another game needing to be won, Mirko suggested some good old scavenging.

If anything, it was a lot better than sitting around and starving to death.

So you, her, and a few others had ended up here, each going their own way to cover the maximum amount of ground before darkness fell over this wasteland.

And while you didn’t exactly think Spencer’s would have the most survivalist-prone gear, it was one of the only stores in the North end of the mall that didn’t reek of rotting food.

You slipped through a wall of nose piercings, grabbing another thick hoody that sported a small drawing of Killua Zoldyck on the lower right corner.

Going towards the back of the store, you rummaged through the trays of snacks that could usually be found near the checkout desk. Even though they technically weren’t the most nutritious, sour gummies and sodas were known to have a better-than-average shelf life.

As you scoured over numerous packages and Best Buy dates, your gaze slipped a few feet to your left, eyes widening as a short chuckle bubbled up into your throat.

You walked over to a stand proudly boasting its abundance of ‘Creature Cocks’ and picked up a glow-in-the-dark Unicorn dildo.

It was nearly 9-inches.

Guess I could use that thing as a weapon if anything.

Snickering, you put the sparkly sex toy back and let your line of sight graze curiously over the smaller, more much conventional ones.

It had been a long time.

Which wasn’t surprising, since personal pleasure wasn’t exactly a priority during what many would define as the apocalypse.

Still…

Almost unconsciously, you reached out, fingers curling around a small toy that slightly resembled one you used to have.

“You know most of those don’t work anymore, right?”

“Shit!” You spun around in fear, locking eyes with the second male in your little group, Hawks. His lower lip was curled in amusement as you pressed a hand to your pounding chest. “You just gave me a heart attack, asshole!”

Regardless, nervous excitement brewed in your stomach. The feelings you harbored for the individual in front of you were dangerous and you knew that, but they were hard to ignore.

“Sorry, didn’t think I was interrupting anything,” his eyes flit down to the device in your hand, a feline-like smirk spreading across his features as he turned and began to leave. “But I’ll leave you to it.”

You dropped the toy, it’s clatter against the floor causing him to swivel his gaze back and you to internally cringe. “Batteries,” you swallowed, cheeks beginning to burn as you mentally fumbled for an excuse. “Some have batteries. I figured we’d run out at some point. For flashlights and stuff… ya know?”

Rambling. You’re rambling. Stop it.

Hawks cocked an eyebrow, stalking closer and quietly bending down to pick up the device. When he straightened, his body was a few centimeters from yours.

A contrasting scent of ashes and spice hit your senses as he lifted an arm to put the toy back, effectively caving you in on one side.

You wondered absentmindedly if he still would’ve smelt faintly of fire if he wasn’t stuck here, in a world surrounded by death and decay.

“If you really needed help that badly, you could’ve just asked,” he replied, wolfish grin doing nothing to quell the heat blooming into your face.

The meaning of his statement hit you like a train, the suggestion crawling below your abdomen to tease you with a flash of pleasure.

“I don’t… I wasn’t trying to-”

“But you want to,” you blinked, eyes wide in surprise as his arm snaked around your waist. “Besides, it might be dangerous to leave you all hot and bothered during an attack or something, don’t you think?”

“I’m not… I’m fine,” the reply definitely lacked the assertion you planned to give it, the idea of his skin against yours more than distracting.

He let out a raspy hum. “So it wouldn’t turn you on at all if I did something like this?”

The hand resting on your hip began moving downward, began toying with the top of your jeans.

Mindlessly, your hips lifted upwards, practically begging to meet his touch.

That smirk grew slightly, excitement flashing through brown irises. “Thought so.”

His hand slipped under the fabric, gently brushing against your clit. The contact made your body jerk in surprise, that soft heat slowly building as the touch moved in between your thighs.

“I-” One finger pushed between your folds, drawing a soft groan from you as he began to slowly thrust the digit in and out.

“I know, princess. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you.”

His lips grazed over yours, gently stealing the sigh you gave in response to his movements. Blond hair tickled your face as he continued to whisper praises in your ear.

“So pretty,” his free arm linked under yours when your knees threatened to fall out from under you.“Do you know long I’ve wanted to do this? Wanted you?”

He watched as you continued to slip away in a pleasured haze, expression flashing for a mere second in adoration as his finger drew soft circles over your clit.

The feeling was overwhelming, the rest of the world melting away from the burning heat just begging to reach its climax.

Then it vanished, his touch slipping away as quickly as it came before he pressed his lips against yours, the moment lasting mere seconds but leaving you breathless.

“Why did you stop?” The desperation in your tone might have embarrassed you, if you cared.

“So needy,” he taunted. “I’ll fuck you properly when we have some more privacy.”

You almost reached out to stop him when he backed away, your pride saved as the rest of your group pushed through the isles.

“You guys okay? We’re gonna head back to the shelter soon.” Mirko stopped, eyes widening as she took in the area. “What are you doing back-“

“We thought there might be some batteries in here.” Hawks grabbed one of the toys. An effortless smile gracing his lips , he spun the package around so the label was visible. “30% percent off.”

[ahhnini]

midas touch - rafe cameron x fashionista!reader

synopsis - based off this ask!

moodboard ⋆·˚ ༘ *

word count - 1.4k

warnings - oblivious!reader, bestfriend!rafe, flirting (from rafe), alcohol consumption, fluff, slow burn, not proofread!

a/n - i diverged a little from the request, but i hope you still enjoy! <3

you snap a mirror pic of your outfit for the day, putting up a caption, then uploading it to your instagram story. you fix any wrinkles from your outfit before heading outside to meet up with your friends.

“there’s our little influencer,” kelce says as you enter the cameron household. you smile and roll your eyes playfully, sitting down on the couch, “to be fair, I never thought my account was gonna get popular,” you shrug before continuing, “but it does feel nice knowing that people around the world like my outfits.” rafe comes through the back door, four beers in his hand. “we still waiting for top?” “yeah, should be on his way, though,” kelce replies as he puts an arm around your shoulder. rafe hands you a beer while you lean on kelce’s shoulder. you don’t miss the look rafe gives you. his gaze becoming sharp. you clear your throat as you open the can and take a swig.

as soon as topper arrives, the hangout officially begins. this was a tradition between you four, once a week you would hang out at each other’s houses.

this “tradition” started a long time ago. at first, it was just you and rafe. you remember how he defended you from your bullies, how he had been so selfless, despite everyone saying he was the opposite. you remember how his kind blue eyes would glance at you during homeroom, to make sure you were all right. you noticed how during lunch he would sit in close proximity to you, just in case anyone would try to be a bother.

you were shy when you asked him if he wanted to hang out with you outside of school for the first time. fingers fidgeting, voice soft and eyes looking down. you thought he was gonna laugh in your face, but when he said yes, you felt something spark in your heart.

rafe eventually became friends with topper and kelce, and the four of you clicked together like missing pieces in a puzzle. the summer after you graduated high school, you started a fashion account on instagram. posting various outfits, recommendations, and making get ready with me vlogs. you were hesitant, but the guys assured you that you had nothing to worry about. they were right, and everyone absolutely loves the content that you post.

after your account started blowing up, people from the obx found out and started following you. it made you slightly insecure at first, thinking they had been following you to poke fun at your content. but when you realized that you had started setting fashion trends across the island, that insecurity dissolved.

topper jumps off the roof into the cameron pool, splashing the three of you. “so stupid,” you mumble, shaking your head and smiling at him as he swims to the surface.

midnight struck, you were outside with a blanket wrapped around you. you all sat in a circle, eating takeout while gossiping — yes, gossiping, about the new family that moved into figure eight. it was the guys’ guilty pleasure, though they’d never admit it.

you scoffed at their endless conspiracies, deciding to just listen. you take a deep breath, crisp air hitting your nostrils. topper and kelce stand up, announcing that they’re going home. you, however, don’t want the night to end, so you ask rafe if you can stay over. thankfully, he says “yes, of course.”

both of you snuggle on the couch, rafe breathing the scent of your hair in as he not so sneakily peeps at your screen. you check your socials, and see that engagement is going up. rafe softly speaks, “how does this work?”

“hm? what do you mean?”

“do you get free stuff?”

“sometimes. but I mainly post things I already have,” you shrug.

rafe makes an ah sound before putting his chin on top of your head.

this felt…intimate. none of the other guys would be this physically close to you. you quickly brush those thoughts away, concluding that rafe is only this close to you because you’ve known him the longest. you put your phone down, leaning against rafe’s chest. this felt so natural for some reason. closing your eyes, you fall asleep, rafe loosely hugging your waist.

the next week, you were sunbathing in the sunny skies of saint-tropez. you had been invited to paris fashion week, and you had some free time after the event. however, you missed your friends, and you were texting them 24/7. you were replying to something topper said in the group chat, when someone approached you. good lord, he was attractive. he smiled at you, pearly whites adorning his face. you swore you could’ve heard church bells ring. “hey, mind if I set up my towel here?,” he asks, voice smooth and sultry.

“go ahead,” you move your sunglasses to the top of your head, taking a good look at him.

“i’m johnny,” he sticks his hand out.

you smile and say your name.

“are you from the states too?” he asks, quirking his head over to the side.

“yeah — north carolina,” you clear your throat, suddenly becoming nervous.

“oh cool, i’m from Illinois,” his eyes run up and down your body, and your cheeks grow red.

you two banter for a couple of minutes, before johnny bites his lip, as he asks for your number.

you smile and give it to him, he does seem like a nice guy after all.

the humidity of the outer banks is painful. turns out, when you came back, there had been a heatwave going on. to add onto that, the ac at your house broke down. so here you were, back at rafe’s, waiting until your cooling system gets fixed.

“how was your trip?” he asks, bringing out popsicles from the fridge and handing one out to you.

you beam at him, “absolutely amazing. I was freaking out over how many designers I met.”

“damn rafe, we don’t get one?” kelce says, laying down on the cold tile floor. “get one yourselves,” rafe gruffly replies.

topper and kelce glance at each other, wiggling their eyebrows. you don’t see it, but rafe does, and he scowls at them.

topper calls out your name again,“why’d you stop texting us halfway through our trip?”

“yeah, did you run out of data or something?” kelce questions.

“um—yeah, so…” you trail off, looking at the ground. “I met someone, and we really hit it off,” you smile, and the two boys make an ooooh sound, teasing. you continue, “yeah, we’ve been talking for a week now, and he seems like a chill guy,” you chuckle. “so sorry I ghosted you guys.” “you’re good, just, rafe was gettin’ all pissy when you wouldn’t answer,” topper sprawls across the tile. “shut up, top,” rafe groans.

“c’mon, don’t act like you were about to hop on a plane yourself to go visit her,” you giggle at topper’s teasing. you found it endearing that rafe cares about you so much. guess he’s still the same boy after all these years.

“rafe, I hate him!” you scream into your pillow. “I know sweetheart,” rafe gently rubs your back, sighing. after a month of talking, you and johnny decided to meet up again. in new york. it was stupid, meeting up with a guy you’ve met in real life once. he played you, hard. he had completely flaked on the meet up itself and ghosted you. money wasted and heart broken, you sulked on your bed.

“am I stupid, rafe?” you ask, tears staining your cheeks. “no, sweetheart. a bit oblivious, yes. stupid, definitely not.”

you sniffle, rafe handing you a tissue.

rafe whispers, “i’ll beat his ass for breakin’ your heart.” you know he didn’t mean it, but you shake your head regardless. sitting up, you face him, “he doesn’t deserve your time anyway.” he smiles, eyes crinkling, “that’s the spirit.”

there’s a sparkle in his eyes. without knowing it, you lean closer to him. you feel him breathe, soft breaths hitting your face. you don’t stop, tilting your head and pressing your lips against his. oh god, what have you done?

he kisses back, arms wrapping around your waist. your mind moves a million miles per hour. you tangle your hands in his hair as he lays you down, crawling on top of you.

“are you sure you wanna do this, sweetheart? you know, our relationship’s gonna change after this, no going back,” he says breathlessly.

he’s so beautiful. taking a deep breath in, you blissfully say,

“yes.”

divider by sseuda on tumblr

[thwd4510]

zayne x f!reader who’s anxious during a flight

❀ ❀ ❀

fluff, comf?, mentions of plane crashes, use of petnames (love, darling), use of y/n

summary: you and zayne were both sent to a different location away from linkon on account of work. on the plane, he comforts you during strong turbulence. (half proofread)

As a hunter, you often get sent to different cities to carry out missions and collect data on wanderers. When your partner Xavier decided not to come with you because he had some “business to take care of,” your trusty primary care physician decided to tag along to watch over you.

Your mission is stationed rather far — much more than usual. Because of this, Zayne offered to accompany you. Apart from treating any possible wounds, he’s no stranger to the battlefield – a well-versed combat medic.

Upon boarding your 4-hour flight, you were already experiencing the nervous jitters. Not because of the mission – no – but, rather, all the unfortunate news articles you’ve been reading about in headlines. It seemed as though almost every few scrolls on Moments, you encountered bad news about car and plane crashes, making your blood run cold. How could the universe show you the news now, of all times?

Zayne noticed how you lightly trembled, your grip on your carry-on bag tightening in a manner only someone closely observing you would notice. He places a gentle hand on the small of your back, softly rubbing it to comfort you from whatever is on your mind.

“Darling,” he begins, soft-spoken as always, “are you alright?”

His voice instantly permeates your unsettled nerves, like a warm blanket being veiled over your cold body. Your body relaxes slightly, and you turn to him, humming in response. He ushers you through the plane’s entrance as the line moves along, showing the flight attendant your boarding passes.

“Hi, welcome!” She smiles at us, holding out her hand in front of her. “7 H and J… This way, please.”

You and Zayne both nod, silently thanking her. He repositions his hand on the small of your back, his touch featherlight as he leads you forward to your seats. Once you get there, Zayne – without needing to ask – takes your carry-on bag and places it up in the compartment. Had it not been for his long sleeves, you would be drooling at those muscles flexing.

He finally joins you in sitting down, yours being a window seat. Thankfully, the Association had bought the tickets with free plane WiFi, much to your delight. Naturally, you were on your phone even when the plane had already taken flight.

It wasn’t such a great idea to doom scroll on social media when accidents were still trending at the moment. Those same posts and articles of plane crashes you saw, resulting in many tragic deaths, made your heart begin to thump hard against the inside of your chest.

You were led down a rabbit hole of old news articles and stories of past crashes, making your heart race all the more. It’s starting to hurt – your protocore syndrome, that is. Scrolling, reading, panicking, and breathing labored until you feel a hand clutch your chest for you.

“Love, please,” Zayne firmly pleads, hand beginning to rub your chest soothingly. “Don’t stress yourself out. Your heart will ache.”

He easily pries your phone from your hands, placing it in his own pocket. His hand continues to rub the middle of your chest, trying to calm your relentlessly beating heart hammering against his palm.

“I’m restricting your screen time for the remainder of this flight and the one returning home,” he says, almost scolding you.

However, he just can’t bring himself to even feign upsetness with you when you’re looking at him with such fearful eyes. You nod slowly, knowing that he’s right – he always is. Right as you decide to resign – let yourself be babied by Zayne, perhaps – and accept that you will spend the entire flight either reading a book filled with medical jargon or simply sleeping, the plane begins to rock.

Zayne immediately notices the color fading from your complexion, your face gone pale.

“Y/N-”

“This is it, Zayne,” you clasped your hands together in a praying motion. “I may have accidentally manifested this crash. We are cooked.”

‘Oh, dear,’ Zayne thought, internally sighing.

He lifts up the armrest separating the two of you, getting it out of the way to let himself scoot closer to you. With half his leg now invading the space on your seat, he cups the back of your head in his large palm, gently placing your head on his chest. His other hand cups your cheek, thumb drawing soothing circles on your skin. The steady thrum of his heart against your ear drowns out the sound of the intercom, the pilot’s announcement reduced to incoherent babbling. Zayne’s rhythmic heartbeat serves as the calm to the storm in your head, effectively soothing your panic. By the time the turbulence ends, you’ve long since forgotten what it was that brought you into this position – your face nuzzled against your big teddy bear of a boyfriend.

“You see? It was just turbulence, nothing alarming.”

Zayne’s voice rumbles in his chest, though it was only a soft murmur. The vibrations from his sudden speaking cause you to perk up, snapping out of your little trance.

“Darling?” Zayne calls out to you softly, his hand gently caressing the back of your head. “Did you hear the pilot speaking?”

You raise your head to meet his gaze, albeit your own expression is rather dazed. Your eyes rake over his handsome face, his features effortlessly perfect. His beautiful hazel green eyes appear bright, even in the plane’s dim lighting… His eyebrows that somehow seem well kept despite him never trimming them a day in his life… His nose that you love oh-so much for a few reasons that won’t be mentioned… And his lips – the soft, plush lips that make your favorite sound: Zayne’s voice. The lips that whisper sweet nothings in your ear when you’re in the comfort of his embrace. The lips that kiss the furrow in your brow away and the worries that come from your own lips.

Oh, how you love this man.

“Oh, my,” Zayne whispers, an almost amused look on his face.

He shakes his head, smirking lightly to try and hide the slight tinge of red on his ears.

“What?” You raise an eyebrow at him, not at all embarrassed to be caught admiring him so openly. “I can’t admire my wonderful Dr. Zayne?”

The spectacled man chuckles nasally, letting his hold on you loosen as you sit up.

“I asked if you heard what the pilot said,” he repeats his previous question.

You shake your head, body now relaxing into your seat as Zayne’s hand stays over yours, fingers intertwined.

“The plane went through a few storm clouds. It was only turbulence,” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper. “Do you no longer feel scared?”

You shake your head again, which brings Zayne satisfaction. His lips stretch into a small smile, lighting up his features even more when the ends of his eyes crinkle with joy. He nods in response, elated to know that you’re no longer troubled by your anxiety.

“You could probably save us from a crash anyway,” you lay your head back down on his shoulder, a satisfied smile on your face. “Just form an ice slide and we’re chillin’.”

Zayne chuckles, the pleasant sound like music to your ears. He hums softly, leaning down to place a sweet kiss on your temple.

“Of course,” he says, and you can practically hear the grin on his face. “I’ll make sure to test that out on a willing participant first.”

And of course, after your mission in that city, Zayne had let you play on his “homemade” ice slide until you got tired.

started this draft waaay back in mid december when i was on plane LOL. finally finished it for posting, so i hope you enjoyed!

[wintfleur]

omg i need to know how rut would react to the “if you wanna get to him, you have to get through me first he’s the best big brother” trend

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( omg this got lost in my asks so I’m sorry it took me forever to write, I had so much fun doing so tho! )

au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!

stellahughes has just posted a TikTok!

Stella stepped back from her phone, a mischievous smile on her lips as she made sure that it was in fact filming. Her phone stood on a long bookshelf next to the tv, leaned up against a book she was sure none of the boys in the house had even lifted up once. Stella turned to look at her boyfriend who stood next to her, a bowl of cereal in his hands as he looked at her with a curious smile. 

Stella cleared her throat before looking back at her camera, trying her best to have an intimidating look on her face without breaking out into giggles. “You want to get to him, you gotta get through me first” stella spoke confidently as she pointed between her and rutger. Rutgers eyes lit up at the confident tone she was using, happily surprised with how hot he found her being possessive over him. 

Rutger doesn't take his eyes off hers as she gets on her tippy toes, leaning up to place a kiss to his lips, just as he fluttered his eyes close at the touch, she was pulling away. It was too quick for his liking. Stella smiled up at him before stepped back, her hand on his shoulder as she looked back at her camera, with a big smile “Best big brother ever.” 

Rutgers eyes widened and his jaw dropped, thankfully he had a tight hold on his bowl or else he would have dropped it in shock at his girlfriend's words. Ethan and luca who were sitting on the couch behind them can't help but break out into a fit of laughter at the situation in front of them, God the look on rutgers face was hilarious. Rutger takes a step back from stella who's watching him and trying not to break out into giggles at how he's shaking his head no “No, no, no” 

“I am not her brother!” Rutger exclaims loudly, shaking his head no as he looks at the camera and then back to Stella who finally lets out a laugh at his reaction. Holding her side as her head tips back in laughter, her knees almost going weak at the wide-eyed stare rutger was giving her. 

Luca exclaimed jokingly from the couch between his own laughter “Awe aren't you guys just the cutest siblings.” 

“Shut it luca” rutger hissed as he glared at him, looking back at stella and giving her a concerned look at how hard she was laughing . . . he was so confused. Stella rested her hand on ruts shoulder so she wouldn't fall over from laughing and he moved to hold his bowl in one hand while the other held onto her waist. 

“Yeah, luca be careful, he might beat your ass for calling his sister cute” Ethan was quick to chime in, a teasing smile on his lips as he sent rutger a wink. Stella calms down from laughing and wipes at her wet eyes, she squeezes rutgers bicep and smiles at him “it's just a TikTok trend baby . . . god you should have seen your face.” 

Rutger rolls his eyes playfully and bites his lip, of course it was. Rutger smirks and he looks at Stella up and down before saying “Is it too late to say how hot it was seeing you so possessive?” 

Stellas cheeks immediately go red at his words, flustered under his stare, and it didn't help that luca and ethan started wolf - whistling at the couple, loving to tease them. Stella softly pushed rutger away from him making him laugh loudly as she quickly grabbed her phone. 

The last thing the video films is stella’s obviously red face up close to the camera, with ethan, luca and rutger laughing in the background as she whines shyly before she stops the video “Oh my god rut stop.” 

°. — taglist ( @lovings4turn @cixrosie @toasttt11 @bunbunbl0gs )

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 31: The Same Page

AN: Okay, this is the only other chapter I had sitting in my google drive hiding from you all. Next chapter is where I just picked up writing again the other week, rusty with writing Levi and everyone all over again, I'm gonna go back over it one more time and see if it needs another polish before moving onto chapter 33. I'm hoping to always have one chapter already finished while I'm writing the one after it (i.e. I'm publishing 31, 32 is already written, and I'm working on 33) just to give myself a cushion so I don't stress myself out about it.

Also, i love you guys, thank you so much for all the messages I've been getting all week celebrating my still living status and the return of the story, it made my week, really.

...I was going to make you wait until tomorrow for this, but I'm tired and I already have it all ready so I might as well just flashbang you with another chapter again with no warning hahahahaha, this is turning into a trend/pattern

Characters:  Levi, Vampire!Fem!Reader, OC Vampire Character (Emery), Hange (Briefly), Petra (Briefly), Erwin (Mentioned)

Pairing:  Levi x Vampire!Fem!Reader

Warnings:  Language, Spice but not Smut (Making Out, some wandering hands, a flash of some vivid imagination, steamy stuff like that), Discussion of Sex (Brief)

Word Count:  11569 (Remember when these chapters used to only be around 6000 words???)

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Reader’s POV*

Emery hadn’t been expecting you to return so soon after the botched hunt.  Your appearance at his cave had been more than just a little surprise for him–the poor kid actually tried to jump you, thinking you were an intruder, which just ended with him flat on the back with the wind knocked out of him and a resounding crack of his head against rock that actually had you checking him over to make sure you hadn’t accidentally cracked his head open in the process of defending yourself.  Once Emery had caught his breath again and you were certain there wasn’t any blood matting the hair at the back of his head, you sat him down in order to have a precursor to the upcoming discussion.  Or rather, officially give him the warning, and try to lay some ground rules on Emery’s side in order to try and give Levi a bit more of a safety net coming to see the fledgling vampire.

Emery had already known that there was a human working with you, that knew your secret, so you didn’t have to give that part of the explanation.  Thankfully, that meant you were able to cut right to the chase and discuss why he was coming, and try to establish methods to help Emery not attack him when he came.

“I thought you didn’t want him anywhere near me because you were worried I’d attack him?” Emery asked once you’d told him of Levi’s impending arrival, shifting uncomfortably where he was currently seated on the floor of the cave.  Thankfully, there was still no hint of offense in his tone over your continued concern for Levi’s safety around him–Emery was painfully aware of how dangerous he was to humans right now, which was why you hadn’t heard any protest from him about living in isolation for the time being.  If anything, Emery seemed more concerned about Levi’s safety than why Levi would be coming.

You didn’t tell him that you were pretty sure Levi could take him in a fight easily, even with the vampire abilities, considering Levi could beat you in a fight.  You would rather Emery worry and end up not needing to have worried so much, than he didn’t take it seriously enough and something bad happened.  This was going to be Levi’s first face to face impression of the teenager, as well as a meeting that was going to basically decide Emery’s future–he needed to be taking this seriously in every way possible.

Your soft sigh still echoed around the deep chamber of the cave, though you remained still in your spot leaning against the wall further from the tiny, flickering fire Emery had going than his spot on the ground.  “That’s still a concern.  And he’s well aware that I’m not happy about it, that I’m concerned about his safety, but…he has his own concerns about my safety when it comes to what I’m risking to help you.  With how poorly things went last night, he needs to meet you for himself, and he’s going to have questions.”

“...what kind of questions?”

Emery’s voice was small, and for a moment, it looked to you like the shadows of the cave would swallow him whole and drag him into the depths of the small cave system he was currently using for shelter.  You weren’t doing much to put his mind at ease about this meeting, but it wasn’t a good thing that they were having it.  Emery’s refusal to really hunt had, as Levi pointed out, put you in a far more difficult position, and he needed to learn the gravity of the situation.

“I didn’t ask–I’m not his superior, he doesn’t have to run them by me, first.  And he has every right to be worried about my involvement with you and the position I’m in now, especially after hearing about last night.  He hasn’t been happy about me getting involved with you out of concern for my safety since day one, and now the problems are getting big enough he can’t stand by anymore.”

You could have gone into the strange power structure between you, Levi, and Erwin, how you answered to them but were also somewhat independent, at least with this, how Levi monitored you and Erwin made the final decisions, but you’d only told Emery about Levi because he’d been there that night when you’d met the kid face to face, and you hadn’t even told Emery Levi’s name in order to protect them if things went sideways with Emery.

And besides, Levi was the one who wanted to give Emery a ‘reality check’, and since you didn’t know how exactly he was going to do that, you were going to play your cards close to your chest in the meantime, at the very least so you didn’t accidentally ruin something for whatever Levi had planned.  You were just here to give Emery the heads up and a little bit of preparation in meeting Levi.

Emery, however, only seemed more confused by your statement.  “Why is he risking his safety to come up here and talk to me himself, rather than you simply being the one to say whatever needs said?  If this is about last night, you’re the one helping me, shouldn’t you be the one talking with me about what comes next?”

“Because it’s more than that.  Because he wants to meet you himself and get a first hand understanding of the situation and the person I’m trying to help before his part in deciding what comes next.  Because he’s of the opinion that I’m too close to this to effectively have this conversation, and…I agree with him.”

That was fear you could see starting to creep into his eyes.  The way his foot stopped its slow bounce under his crossed legs, the way his lower lip drew in like he was resisting the urge to start worrying it between his teeth, the way he drew in a breath he didn't fully release as the realization started to settle over him; all of it indicated that the severity of what was about to happen was starting to fall over him.

“This is sounding more and more like a conflict or a fork in the road kind of thing.  Are…are you…considering leaving me to fend for myself again?”

There was a shake in his voice that made your gut clench and your throat close, momentarily thrown back to the dark corner of the damp hovel you'd called home in Stonewood you used to curl up in when the emotions and loneliness was too much to bear enough to be functional.

…Levi was right.  You saw too much of yourself in Emery to be the one to have this conversation with him if you were getting emotional just hearing the fear of abandonment starting to creep into his voice.  You didn't think you had it in you to be the kind of firm he needed right now.

“That's entirely up to what happens when we have this conversation, and what comes of it,” you said softly.  “But there's not much I can really say before we do, since I don't know what's going to be said or what's going to happen.  For now, let's just focus on trying to make sure you're as ready as I can make you for being around a human that smells that good without attacking him.  I'd like for you to actually be capable of listening and having a conversation with him, and not in a blood frenzy the whole time.”

Emery seemed to be tuning some shade of green that looked extra sickley in the fire's light.  “Is his blood really that tempting?”

“To me, it's the best kind out there.  But that may be my relationship with him and how I see him.  It might not be so intense for you–hopefully not, anyway–but he still is alluring, even when he's not bleeding, we know from experience with not friendly vampires.  Which is why I still want to go over this with you.”

Walls forbid Levi's first impression of you is you trying to rip his throat out in a blood frenzy, even if that's what I've been warning him about since day one.  But if you got a whiff of him on the wall that day Maria fell and just didn't know it, and didn't attack him then, maybe we can get by and not have an incident now.

Emery got up, apparently unable to sit still with the mounting nerves as he started to pace around the fire, pulling on his fingers to pop them.  Despite the anxiety, he took a few deep breaths to compose himself, trying to calm down and focus on what you were about to tell him.  “Okay…Okay…what do I need to do?”

When you got back from your trip to see Emery, it was late evening, the sun starting to turn darker shades of blue with swaths of oranges and reds able to be seen further in the distance towards the false horizon.  It made you want to go find a good perch on the walls to watch the sky changing colors, capture the moment in your sketchbook even if the black and white of your drawings couldn’t do the colors justice in your mind.  It wasn’t the same as that one time you had sketched the horizon beyond Wall Maria, though.  Knowing there was another wall beyond your line of sight made it feel a bit more hollow, though–it didn’t have the same effect of boundless and rich unknown as the horizon beyond Maria.

Besides, there was somewhere else you needed–and wanted–to be, something else you needed–and wanted–to be doing.

So, you turned your gaze away from the colors of the sky as you started to slow your pace to something more human, coming up on the Scout’s headquarters through the forest.  There was the sound of ODM gear whirring through the woods, which made you a touch more cautious as you weaved your way through the trees, lest you get in someone’s way, get struck by falling debris, or get seen being a bit too inhuman.

A shift in the wind, however, erased the last concern, as you caught Levi’s scent carried to you on the breeze, prompting you to breathe deep and switch directions.  His presence in the woods doing ODM practice answered your question of what time it was, and also gave you a direction to head towards in order to find who you needed in order to finish your day.  The two of you needed to talk–about many different things–and after the frustrating interruption this morning and your own inability to stay awake last night ruining the chance of some much needed–uninterrupted–time together earlier, you were hoping to correct that tonight.

You refrained from putting yourself into his path while he was training.  Everyone was getting antsy with all the time that you’d spent not going out on expeditions, just waiting for something to change, practicing and drilling but not actually doing anything, needing to burn the energy.  Not to mention, with how much of that first stretch of time after the wall fell Levi spent recovering thanks to that incident with the hunters, you were sure he was still in the stage where he appreciated being able to move around and do things again, including the more routine training.

The thought of the hunters had something nag at the back of your mind, a relevant and troublesome little detail that you’d forgotten with how your focus had been elsewhere recently.

Later.  You could add that to the list for later–you didn’t want to give Levi the impression that the prep talk with Emery had gone poorly, no need for him to worry, yet–there was enough to worry as it was, and already almost too much to talk about.

You made your way back towards the treeline, but stayed deep enough in the trees that no one by the actual headquarters building would be able to see you.  Once you found the spot, you used your ability to jump much higher than normal to make your way up to a high off the ground but sturdy tree branch, sitting gearless atop it and waiting for Levi to come back through once he finished his practice.

You didn’t have anything to do with you, so you simply waited for a while, legs dangling over the edge and kicking slowly as you listened to the sounds of Levi practicing, sometimes far away, and sometimes much closer.  The whir from the cables operating, the whoosh of gas every now and then, the sound of his heart beating a bit harder than normal, grunts, the sound of legs, boots, and arms thumping across harder surfaces when he braced or kicked off something.  There wasn’t the sound of any blades being unsheathed, or titan dummies swinging through the air, so it really was just him out here right now, practicing the movements on the ODM gear itself.  You could envision what he was doing rather clearly in your mind’s eye, the way he twisted and arched through the air, how quickly he was able to weave around the trees with effortless seeming use of the cables–

You were pulled from the images in your mind when you heard him coming closer than he had while practicing, focusing back on the world around as his gear brought him closer to you–not directly to you, he hadn’t spotted you yet, but close.

Sure enough, with your enhanced sight, you spotted him headed towards the treeline off to your left before he saw you, though once you were within visual range, it seemed to only take a few heartbeats for him to spot the movement of your kicking feet and the out-of-place sight of you in uniform but without the gear perched on a tree branch so high above the ground.  As soon as he’d processed your presence, he changed course, reaching you in a matter of seconds and coming to a nimble stop on the tree branch beside you.

“How long have you been out here?” he asked, remaining standing even though you had yet to make any move to leave your perch.  There was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, hair a little damp seeming near the temples and nape of his neck, heartbeat still a bit quicker and breaths a bit heavier from pushing himself during his training.

A quick glance towards the sky revealed that while the light hadn’t disappeared entirely, it had gotten significantly darker since you first heard Levi in the woods, and the temperature appeared to be cooling, as well.  “Not too long.  The sun was already setting by the time I reached the woods.”

“Since you’re taking it easy in a tree branch instead of pacing a hole in my quarters, I’m guessing the talk with the kid went well?”

“More or less,” you admitted, which prompted a raised brow from him, but you waved it off, getting to your feet.  “We can talk about that once we’re settled in.  I’m assuming you haven’t ate yet, and it’ll get cold soon, so we should probably head inside before trying to talk about anything or we’ll end up here for hours.”

Levi let out a soft exhale, turning on the branch ready to take off again now that you looked like you were ready to get moving, yourself.  “You’re always fretting over me,” he grumbled, gaze turned back towards the headquarters.

“Someone should,” you returned, coming over to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek and brush your fingers against his hand–you would have given it a squeeze, but they were both still gripping the controls for the ODM.  “And I believe I’m perfectly qualified to.”

You only lingered long enough to allow Levi to return the kiss on the cheek with one of his own.  It was a swift one, since your own kiss to the cheek had been in passing as you coiled to drop back to the ground, but it still made your cheek warm and your gut squirm, glad the cooling air was able to whip passed your cheeks and help cool them back down as the forest floor rushed towards you in the drop.  Up above, you heard Levi’s ODM cables fire and start to draw him to the edge of the forest at an angle to meet you down on the ground where the trees stopped.

If there wasn’t so much you two needed to talk about, and he didn’t need to take care of himself at the moment, and you were a bit more confident about how physical you both were ready to get, you might have been tempted to act on the wild thought to pin him up against a tree for a more heated kiss, but that–what happened in his office this morning, or on the couch the evening before–that was still…new.  And was going to take a bit more figuring out–and maybe even a bit of talking–before you’d feel comfortable springing something like that on him.

Though you were certainly starting to think about it.  Especially after this morning.

Not wanting to come out of the trees and meet Levi with burning cheeks, you shook the thoughts away, focusing on the more serious topics the two of you needed to discuss, or hell, thinking about what you were going to get from the mess hall for Levi to take instead–or whether the two of you were going to risk getting interrupted again in his quarters or if you should find somewhere else to have your long private talk and…whatever else you two felt like doing once the serious stuff was out of the way.

You hoped it was something similar to this morning…

Focus!

You were glad you were the one that was the vampire with the enhanced hearing when you reached Levi at the forest’s edge, so he couldn’t hear your still-calming heartbeat as you approached.  Your hands itched to reach out and twine his into yours now that he wasn’t holding the ODM controls, but you were out on the main grounds now, and would too easily be spotted, so you kept them to yourself.  Still, Levi walked closer to you than strictly necessary, and the back of his hand brushed against yours here and there along the way, which was enough for you.  You knew it was intentional, and it put the slightest smile on your lips as you walked in comfortable silence to the mess hall.

Levi hadn’t really needed to come down and fill his own plate recently with how on top of things you’d been when it came to bringing him his meals, which meant you two got a few looks from other Scouts when you entered the room together, mostly Levi given the now-rare sighting.  You accompanying him and the two of you standing so close was normal whenever the two of you were seen around quarters, so neither of you bothered to take even a half step away.

Though you took extra care not to focus on the chatter of the room around you.  If someone was gossiping and theorizing, you didn’t want to know.

“So, where do you want to talk?  I know normally it would be in your quarters, but it’s starting to feel like we’re going for a record on how many times we can be interrupted when we’re in there,” you remarked as the two of you accepted the meager rations on your trays.  You tried to make yours look different from Levi’s without picking anything he’d rather not eat, and you were painfully aware of the lack of a kettle in the kitchens being heated for what would usually be his black tea now that it had been cut from the budget.  You’d have to heat some up yourself once you figured out where you were going to be for the night.

Levi scowled at the mention of the numerous interruptions the two of you had racked up recently, but kept moving down the line.

Neither of you commented on the fact that there was only a quarter of a roll on your trays, now, but you certainly noticed.  Already they had cut back to a quarter, when just yesterday you’d been plating half rolls.  That had to mean that they were trying to make what they had last longer.  What had changed in a day that you didn’t yet know about?

“My quarters are fine–I already talked to Erwin, earlier, so the only people that would be interrupting are people we can ignore or I can tell to fuck off,” he replied, grabbing the utensils he needed at the end of the line and stepping away from the line, you only a few seconds behind him.

You could see the squad sitting at their usual table, especially once Petra waved at you with a slightly brighter smile than normal, despite the obvious and rapid cutbacks on the rations likely glaring at everyone.  She was probably happy to see that you and Levi seemed to be on speaking terms again–and keeping to each other’s sides as usual, to boot.  You returned the wave, giving a slightly apologetic smile as Levi led your way not to the squad table, but back towards the door.  If you were going to give him your share of rations, you couldn’t exactly sit at the table and do it in front of everyone else.

Petra started to look a little put out–you and Levi hadn’t been sitting with the squad as often since the rationing got worse–but you gestured behind Levi’s back, miming with your hand a mouth talking and giving a half shrug, the apologetic smile still in place.  Her eyes lit up with understanding and relief, and she gave you a little thumbs up before turning back to the group and talking in an excited tone with the others, who had been watching the little exchange.

Well, if the rest of the squad were under the impression that the two of you were going to have a much needed talk, that might mean that was four more people you didn’t have to worry about interrupting the two of you–and almost all of the most likely candidates to be dropping by Levi’s office, thankfully.

The two of you slipped out of the mess hall without much fuss–Hange started to head your way and try to flag you down, but a few frantic hand gestures for her to stop, don’t, cut it out, shoo, and a handful of thumb jabs towards Levi’s back had her looping around to ambush Miche instead with a shit eating grin that had you convinced you were going to get ambushed by her, later.

Once you were out in the hall, you lengthened your strides just enough to come even with Levi again, resisting the urge to just start shuffling the contents of your tray to his along the way.  You also resisted any little touches, since there were a few people that the two of you had passed on your way to the mess hall and continued to see in the hall along the way.

Once you were a few halls from the mess hall, Levi suddenly broke the silence, to your surprise.  “Your hand signals could use some work.”

Immediately, your cheeks started to burn as you realized he’d caught you trying to silently signal Hange, or Petra, or both.  “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Flailing behind my back like that made that pretty clear.”

The sound that came out of you was somewhere between a whine and a huff.  “Well…that’s a few more people we don’t have to worry about being interrupted by,” you grumbled.  Levi simply rolled his eyes, opening the door to let you both into his quarters without another comment on the matter.

You went right to his desk, happily noting that there wasn’t any paperwork left to do as you set your tray down a bit higher than where he was going to sit so that he could get to it when he was ready.  You heard the lock click in the door to ensure you wouldn’t be interrupted before Levi crossed the room, you moving out of the way and over to the side to shimmy his tea stash out of its hiding place and start working on getting tea started for the both of you.

“No white sage,” he warned as you heard the chair scrape across the floor behind you.  Your eyebrows rose, and you glanced over your shoulder at him.

“I’m pretty sure I’m set for the next few weeks, you know, I have no intention of biting you any time soon.”

Levi didn’t elaborate further, simply started in on his food and let the request stand, which you complied to, since he had his necklace to at least protect him from any compulsion.

With a small sigh, you pulled out a black tea that didn’t have any white sage mixed into it, silently wishing you had the money for the expensive as hell vanilla right now to add to your own cup as you put a bag each in both cups and set the kettle over the fire.  “So, I suppose first thing’s first, how did the talk with Erwin go?”

“He’s not happy.”

“...I expected as much, but are there details in there that I should know about?”

“He’s worried your head’s not in the right place to handle the situation.  And while he isn’t worried about the meeting itself, he is concerned about the Military Police and the Garrison turning over the walls looking for the kid.  He can’t get anyone on the inside for the investigation, so he’s worried about us being caught in the crossfire.  No matter what, this meeting involves ultimatums–either there’s progress made, or we’re cutting the risk.”

“Which is pretty much what you told me last night,” you murmured, turning around to lean against the counter and look at Levi directly while you were waiting for the water to heat.

“What about your talk with the kid–how’d it go?” Levi asked, watching you out of the corner of his eyes.

“I didn’t sugar coat it, so he’s…stressed about it.  He’s aware that me continuing to help him is now in question, and he’s nervous about being able to control himself when you come, even with the little coaching I gave him before I left.  Which is preferable–I’d rather he be overly cautious about his control than not cautious enough.  He wanted a heads up on what kind of questions you were going to have for him.  I refrained, since I don’t even know how you want to handle this besides doing it ‘your way’.”  Your head tilted slightly to the side as you paused, appraising Levi for a moment.  “By the way, are you going to tell me anything about how you're going to handle this, or am I going to have to play it all by ear and figure out on the spot when I should intervene and when you need me to stay back?”

“If it goes well, it'll just be talking, with me in the sunlight.  If not, I'll enter the cave.  You can cut in if he’s starting to go blood crazy, but otherwise, I need you to trust me and let me handle it.”

Well, that was better than no heads up, you supposed.  At least now you knew he was thinking of a more in your face kind of direct approach if necessary, which told you to be ready to act in a split second if things went sideways.  Well, more urgently, anyway, if he entered the cave and there wasn't going to be a natural barrier from the sun.

You let out a small sigh, still worried about the whole thing and wanting to fret, wanting to keep Levi far from the vampire that lacked control, but he was right.  The situation needed to be handled, and you did trust him–you were just worried about all the ways it could go wrong.  Fretting wasn't going to do anything to help, though.

The kettle started to whistle, and you straightened up to fetch it from the fire.  “Okay, so Emery is nervous but prepped, Erwin is not happy but allowing what seems to have developed into an abrupt last ditch effort to put Emery on a sustainable course–when's our leave to do this, again?  And what's the cover story?” You tacked on, pouring a little water into one cup, then the other, swirling the teabags in the water and watching the color start to turn before filling the rest of his cup, then yours, and letting the tea steep with the occasional stir.

You heard Levi shift behind you–just a little, but enough to catch your attention and make you listen a little harder to whatever he was about to say.

“We have a day to prepare, so we're not leaving suddenly.   We have to make an appearance at one of the refugee shelter locations out that way to lend a hand and assess the situation.  And we have to be back before the weekend.”

There was a frown on your face with the declaration, head tilting as you figured in your head roughly how long the trip would take by horseback, tried to guesstimate how long the talk with Emery would take, and you had to add in a trip to a refugee camp that would warrant the travel in the more public eye.  Take that timeframe over by a day and Erwin hardly left the two of you enough time to catch a couple hours of sleep, daring to be well rested would mean pushing the envelope on when you needed to be back by.

“That doesn't give us much time to do much…why the rush back?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder at him.

“Erwin needs us close, not in another part of the wall.”

At that, you turned more fully to face Levi, studying him sharply after the comment as if you could pry the answers out of his usually so-well-guarded expressions.  “Something’s happening with the refugee situation, or the food shortage–or both.  Something I’m missing.  With rations like this, and Erwin wanting us back as soon as possible to be on hand…what is it?”

“You’ll know soon enough.  But for now, I can’t tell you.”

You didn't respond this time, simply took a moment to appraise him.

You couldn’t be in every circle, now, could you?  There were going to be things you didn’t know about.  So you let go of the thought of pushing for more, especially with the comment you would know what it was soon even if it couldn't come from him.

But now that the topic had been brought up and you were really looking at him, there was a shadow in Levi’s eyes, making them not as bright, not as blue.  A small crease between his brows that wasn’t normally there, his shoulders a little higher and pulled in from the tension he was carrying, and a bit more of a downturn to his lips than normal.  Not to mention the gloom that seemed to loom over his presence just out of immediate sight.  There was something, he’d confirmed it, but he couldn’t tell you.  How long had he known, whatever this was?  How long had he been lugging it around–and had you missed it because of the distance with your little spat, and your attention being elsewhere, recently?

Your instinct was to go over to him immediately, run your hands over his shoulder, kiss the corners of his lips and the crease between his brows, try to chase some of the shadows away.  Restraint was what you chose, instead–just for now.  He was still eating, and you had his tea in hand.  Not to mention there were still a few more serious topics to bring up.  But after…after the serious, that look on his face and whatever was hanging over him you couldn’t know about yet was going to get your undivided attention.

Dropping the topic entirely for now, you came over to gently offer him the teacup, waiting until he'd taken it before you ran the now-free hand over his shoulders and leaned down to kiss his cheek.  It was the best you could give him for now while he was finishing his meal before you pulled away, claiming a seat on his couch and starting in on your own cup of tea.

There was a silence after that, one that felt comfortable and content despite the topics the two of you had just been discussing, and the unknown you were aware of but couldn't get answers for.  There were a few more serious things you wanted to touch on, but it could wait until he finished his meal and the two of you were more comfortably situated.  Especially since what remained mostly had to do with the two of you, specifically, and that didn’t feel like a conversation to be had while you moved about the room or from the other side of a desk like it was Scout business.

Considering how many times you wondered it, you two should probably talk about what exactly the two of you were, but you didn’t think either one of you were prepared to answer that, yet.  Everything was too…new, still.  There were too many simple things you were figuring out and growing accustomed to, and the brief hiccup where Levi had withdrawn had temporarily put a wrinkle in things that required adjusting all over again while the two of you smoothed things back out.

A bit sooner than you had been expecting, you heard Levi get up from the desk, footsteps making quick work of the space between his desk and the couch before he appeared in your direct line of sight, effectively pulling you out of the contemplative state you’d slowly started to drift into as he dropped onto the couch with a sigh that normal ears wouldn’t have been able to hear.  To your surprise, he didn’t pause once he was on the couch, but pivoted and started to lower himself towards you while face up, prompting you to swallow the last bit of tea in your cup quickly so you could set it aside and out of the way, opening your lap up for him to rest his head.  Much to your amusement, he almost looked like he was on the brink of pouting, arms folded across his chest as he settled in, a small patch of his cheeks starting to look a little flushed, eyes closed so he didn’t have to see your amusement, and the slightest frown on his face even though he was certainly making himself comfortable.  He was still a little tense, like when you’d asked him to do this yesterday evening, but the fact that he was initiating it in the first place was sign enough that he was comfortable with it–though the tension was probably coming from not knowing whether or not you would be comfortable with it right now, or if it was a one time special occasion thing.

You chuckled as he started to settle down with his positioning enough that you could safely put your arms down, one hand instinctively finding its way into his hair to start the gentle threading through his hair you’d been doing yesterday.  As soon as you did, you could see the tension starting to drain out of him, even with the chuckle making it clear you found something about this amusing.

“Not so ridiculous anymore, I see,” you teased him gently, earning a muttered, ‘shut up’ from him in response that got another chuckle from you, your smile easy and relaxed as you watched how he reacted to the simple touch.  How the eyes squeezed shut softened so it didn’t look forced anymore, simply like he was enjoying it, like he would drift off to sleep if you kept going; how the small frown on his face was starting to go away as well, the corners of his lips smoothing out to more of a neutral expression.  The crease between his eyes slowly started to disappear as well, and more of his upper body weight rested against your lap, head tilted back so his face was looking up at you.  It also opened his neck up to you enough the marks from your usual feeding could easily be seen, but you were more focused on his facial expressions, the tension slowly bleeding out of him as your fingers gently threaded through his hair, ran from the part in the front back until your fingers were bumping into your thigh, and back.

Your other hand started resting on the back of the couch, but you felt it would be more comfortable resting at your side.  However, since Levi was currently stretched out where you would normally rest your hand…

There was a moment of hesitation, only because you still had yet to stumble across what level of intimacy was too far for Levi–or perhaps you were going so slow that the line was naturally moving further and further back before you could even reach it.  Still, you lowered your elbow into the gap between the couch and his side, and then very carefully rested your forearm little at a time across his abdomen.  You felt a small tremble beneath your arm at the initial contact, then a brief tension that went through his whole body and had you pausing before his continued silence and lack of pulling away made you feel comfortable with finishing laying it along his middle.  After a few long moments of simply running your fingers through his hair and letting your arm rest across his middle, Levi’s arms unfolded, and while one arm stayed laying haphazardly across his chest, the other reached down to twine his fingers into yours before resting the joined hands at his side.  The warmth from the moment that had been residing in your chest spread to what felt like every inch of you at that, your smile wide and heart fluttering for a moment before it calmed back down at a pace that seemed to match that brief tension flooding back out of Levi.

Not wanting to shatter the gentle moment he’d initiated, especially since he had just started initiating these little intimacies, you didn’t immediately bring up the last few things on your mind.  It was tempting to believe this little action of Levi’s answered one of your main questions you wanted to bring up, but you figured you should probably still ask, just to be sure.  So far, save Levi shutting you out briefly, you had been damn good at your communication with him–even before this budding more intimate relationship with him.  That was not a streak you wanted to break.  Communication and trust were two large cornerstones of this relationship, and you weren’t going to skimp anywhere on either value.

So, after relishing in the silent moment long enough you were worried even rarely-sleeps Levi would fall asleep if it went on any longer, you finally spoke up.

“I’m assuming with the way the past twenty-four hours have gone, we are, but I still want to ask just to make sure…we’re okay now, yes?” you asked him quietly, peering down at him and waiting for his reaction.

There was a beat of silence as he considered your question, and then a reassuring squeeze of your hand in answer before he opened his eyes to gaze up at you.  “We’re okay,” he confirmed quietly, causing a cool wave of relief to seep through you to hear it voiced out loud.

“Still a shitty situation with the kid, and…”  there was a moment of hesitation that you waited patiently during as Levi sought the right words for what he wanted to add.  “I’m still worried about the danger it’ll put you in.  And with all this shit happening we might need to revisit being reckless.  Calling it calculated or taking an opportunity doesn’t change when a move was actually risky or impulsive.”

You felt a touch of shame coloring your cheeks at the comment.  You’d defended your choice about helping Emery as calculated and opportunistic, if a bit risky, to Erwin, but Levi knew it was more emotional than that.  He knew that back in Sedalia it had been a snap decision based on emotion over logic–impulsive, and you’d doubled down on it and had been trying to just make it work ever since then.  The logic had been applied after the fact to try and dig you out of the trouble while carrying Emery out with you.

“I’ll admit that taking on Emery was more of an impulsive thing, and the planning was done on the spot as things unfolded–”

Levi interrupted you before you could get much further.  Again, he knew.  Starting to say it was possibly more of a formality than a necessity.  “Your heart may be in the right place with the kid, but you’ve got to use your head–you can’t do that impulsive shit.  That’s how people get killed in this life.”

There was a harder edge in Levi’s eyes as he said it, but beneath it, a flash of something buried deep that was clawing its way to the surface with the topic.  You didn’t brush off his attempt to give you words of wisdom–you’d already acknowledged that he had more experience than you in certain areas.  Levi wasn’t a fool, and you valued his input.  So right now, seeing that something stirring in the depths of his gaze that was riveted on you made you reflective, instead.

How many people had he seen die because of impulsive actions, unnecessarily risky decisions?  You knew he was worried about you, but what if you’d been causing more than that, what if you’d been scaring him with some of your actions recently?  Maybe all of this was about more than just the danger of the Emery situation: what if he was scared this kind of decision making would bleed into other areas–like out with the Titans–and cost you everything?  His early perception that you were nigh invincible when he’d first uncovered what you were had been shattered with recent events, he knew there were risks out there, he knew you could be hurt or killed, you’d told him yourself during that interrogation that the Titans still posed a risk to you in extreme cases or if you got careless or too brash.

The hand that had been running through his hair since he’d laid down in your lap moved so that it could instead rest against his cheek in reassurance.  “Levi, listen to me.”  You took care to keep your voice soft, but your tone held a firm resolve in it meant to reassure him that you were being serious about what you said, that you weren’t simply giving him platitudes.  “I know what I’m doing is risky, like we’ve talked about in the past.  I know that this was more of an emotional decision when I resolved to help Emery, but I’ve been doing my best to be smart about this from here on out without having to abandon him.  I know there are hunters after him.  I know the Garrison has a personal vendetta against him–for good reason.  I know the Military Police have gotten involved now.  I know going down into the Underground with him is risky to me as well, that it reopens the door to threats that we were trying to shut out.  I know that every time I go to visit him, and every time I go out on a hunt with him, I risk being there at a moment he’s caught by any of those three parties.  I understand that there is risk to me–and a great deal of it–with the situation as it is right now, and that change needs to happen to lessen that risk if we’re going to get anywhere.  And I understand that if Emery isn’t willing to be flexible enough to work with me, to learn what I’m trying to teach him, then it’s not worth the rise in risk and I’ll have to back off and leave him to fend for himself, as much as I don’t want to.  I understand that it was an emotional decision I made with heavy risks, and there is a very real possibility that if something doesn't change, the situation will reach a point where I can't help him without doing more harm than good on a larger scale. And I know you and Commander Erwin are of the opinion that I've already reached the point where I should have backed out by now.  But right now, as slight of a chance as it's starting to seem, I can still try to help him, if he listens.  And as long as there's that chance, I'm going to keep trying to help him.”

As expected, he didn’t seem to be entirely assured, since the risk still existed, but your acknowledgement of the specific risks to you, and the acknowledgement that it could get too dangerous to try to help and you would back off when it did, seemed to put something in his mind at ease, at least, and the hard edge in his gaze was softening again.

“Like I've said…just don't do anything shitbrained.  Think next time, don't just jump right to commitment,” he remarked, getting in one last chastisement–hopefully it would be the last one you needed to be on the receiving end of for this topic.

“While we're talking about potential future problems, or at least avoiding them,” you started to say, the statement stopping Levi from relaxing back into the silence again and prompting a raised brow.  You traced the outer edge of his lower lip as you considered your phrasing and tried to get him to relax without directly saying it wasn't anything bad you were about to say.  Just a little request.  The motion partially did its job, as you heard a slight catch in his breath as your hand and arm seemed to tingle at the light motion and the gentle press against the more plump lower lip.

“I'm okay with you needing space to think things through sometimes–I'm used to it by now.  And I'm fully ready to give you that space if and when you need it.  But next time–and realistically, there will likely be a next time–please don't shut me out like that again?  It's miserable for both of us, and not at all productive, it just lets things fester and…and I prefer when we're like this.  When we can talk about things.  Hell, I'll even take some heated arguments when certain topics come up over a stoic silent treatment.”

Levi's gaze was riveted to you, and you knew that even though the intimate touch was probably distracting, he still listened intently to what you had to say and took it in.  “I’ll remember that.”

“I should certainly hope so,” you mused lightly, hand still on his cheek instead of in his hair and starting to lightly stroke along his cheekbone.

“Is there any more depressing shit you want to bring up or are you going to finally kiss me?” Levi asked in response, cocking an eyebrow at you in an almost challenging manner you knew would melt away the moment you started kissing him.

“Depends, are you going to bite me again?”

The challenging air vanished almost instantly, and the light flush that had crept into his cheeks when he first laid down came back a bit stronger at the reminder as he averted his gaze, the hand still twined with yours tightening its grip.  “Shut up,” he mumbled, and you couldn’t help the amusement you felt at his embarrassment over something he did twice, and so confidently the second time.

Your fingers lightly traced his jaw, and you managed to keep any laughter in, though you were grinning down at him.  “Hey, it’s a legitimate question.  It was quite startling, I’ll admit–”

“You wouldn’t shut the fuck up even though Eld was right outside, so I did something,” Levi grumbled, cheeks continuing to flush and squirming slightly on your lap self-conciously.

“And how did that work out for you?”

He frowned, and actually met your gaze again, expression pulling into a scowl whose effect was ruined by the pink cheeks.  “You’re the one who moaned, how was I supposed to know you were going to react that damn loudly?” he accused.

“I can think of someone else that moans quite loudly when they’re–”

Pink cheeks quickly turned burning red, and he cut you off before you could finish the sentence, looking away once again and appearing so exasperated and flustered it was a miracle he wasn’t stumbling over his words in his rush to get you to hush.  “For fuck’s sake, just say you didn’t like it, you don’t have to tease so much.”

Ah, too far with the teasing, then.  Time to reassure and soothe, then, lest he get the wrong impression.

Gently, you tilted his head back in towards you and leaned down to kiss him just above a furrowed eyebrow.  “I never said I didn’t like it.”

Levi’s gaze snapped back towards you, eyes slightly wider to reflect his surprise, though the blush wasn’t lessening.  Your fingers found their way back up into his hair, your motions circular, relaxing, and hopefully reassuring enough to help keep him from tensing back up.

“I liked it.  Though maybe not the best move if you’re wanting me to be quiet–hence the teasing.  I certainly wouldn’t complain if you bit back more often.”

Levi scowled again, but there wasn’t as much irritation in it this time, and his gaze remained on you.  “Asshole.  Didn’t have to tease so much.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist, since you interrupted me with your teeth last time.”

His eyes narrowed on you, and you could have sworn you could see him weighing in his mind if he should bite you right now with the attitude you were giving him.  The fact it seemed to be more of a motivator than a punishment seemed to win out, and he let it go, reaching out tentatively and with more intensive focus than he probably wanted to admit with his free hand to gently run the back of his fingers under your chin, causing a soft sigh to escape your lips.

Standoffish and crass words juxtaposed with such tender gestures and what seemed like any excuse to be near?  Yeah, you were back on good terms again, and any worry that there might be some form of lingering friction because of the Emery situation evaporated from its dark corner in your mind.

“Before we get caught up in the moment, one more thing I wanted to ask–last one, I promise,” you remarked, adding the last part quickly and with a faint smile when you saw exasperation spark in his eyes.  “And besides, it’s on topic.”

Gently, your hand wandered once more away from his hair, down his jaw, lightly cupped around the back and side of his neck, moving down towards his collar.  “I just thought I’d ask ahead of time, since sometimes things get a bit more…heated, when we have more than a few moments to ourselves.  Are you okay with…”  It was your turn for your face to burn, doing your best not to let yourself choke on the actual question itself with the nerves squirming in your gut and trying to work its way up to strangle you into awkward silence.  “...with me…touching you more?”

Levi took in your flushed face, how it was your turn to stumble over the words with some self consciousness, and took a moment to study you closely before he pressed for a bit of clarification.  “...How so?”

“Nothing big, I’m not talking–I just mean…something like…like this,” you remarked tentatively, lowering your eyes to track your own movements as you let your hand dip lower than his shoulders without his prompting for the first time, fingers lightly trailing down the center of his chest until you were just above his navel.  Then, your hand flattened and pressed gently against the solid muscle you could feel beneath the fabric of his shirt, slowly running that hand back up before doing a slow sweep over his pectoral, thumb trailing behind and doing light repetitive strokes along the upper curve of the muscle.

You felt a slight quiver beneath your palm when your hand slid down to his navel and back up, could feel his eyes burning into you with their intensity and hear his heart rate pick up, hear the soft and pleased sigh that caught in his throat and he tried to hold as if worried it would break the moment while you came back up and he waited to see what else you might do.  He relaxed back into your lap at the touch, head heavier against your thighs.

You assumed, based on the reaction, that was a green signal for you to continue, that he was nothing but welcoming for more touches like this.  More intimate, more lingering–nothing too much, yet, but this was okay.  Running your hands along his chest to explore and feel above the fabric of his shirt, possibly his back, too, when you had access (unlike right now).  Maybe you could get away with resting a hand on his knee under tables from now on, as well.

And maybe, this little bit more would translate to kissing as well.

Your touch lightened, fingers trailing slowly back down the center of his chest.  This time you were more confident in the gesture, feeling every dip and crest of the toned muscles beneath from years of fighting and ODM gear.

As your fingers explored new territory much more carefully, you let your gaze drift back up to Levi’s face, catching a glimpse of his eyes half-lidded and appearing a silvery blue in the shadows of the room, gaze currently still locked on your fingers as they trailed along his chest, a slight part in his lips as if that gasp you’d heard him catch and hold was threatening to break through any moment, and you saw the smooth bob of his adam’s apple as he lifted his gaze and caught you watching him.  Before either of you could speak and potentially break the moment, you leaned down to finally kiss him again, eager to discover how much deeper it would go now.

There was still the lingering taste of the black tea on his lips, a taste that had become so familiar and so entwined with him that it brought comfort and reassurance once you tasted it.  Levi was apparently eagerly awaiting the kiss, because there was no delay in its return.  His lips met yours with eagerness, the sigh he'd been holding evaporating into your parted lips as you went deep at first contact.  The hand that had been resting under your chin and starting to trail a light line down your throat moved to naturally tangle in your hair, holding you closer to him while his lips hungrily met yours.

Still explorative, you let your tongue swipe briefly along his lower lip when you trapped it in your kiss, causing a shudder to race through his body and a soft moan that disappeared within the next kiss.  Each gentle brush of your hand along his chest and abdomen caused the slightest of trembles in him, greater when you traced your fingers along his abdomen, or lightly along the very center of his chest–it took more control than you wanted to admit to resist brushing your fingers along the arch of his pectorals where his nipples would be, feeling like that might be a little much if he ended up being sensitive there for where the two of you were in terms of intimacy right now.

His fingers untwined from yours, and as much as you hated the sudden lack of his hand entwined in yours, it found its place in the small of your back, encouraging you to start shifting position to be closer to him on the couch with how he seemed to be attempting to hold you closer to him.  Tentatively, his hand started to travel up your back as you shifted to try and stretch out beside him without taking up his space on the couch, his fingers splayed and carefully exploring the curves as he held you partially pressed against his side and partially atop his chest, his head no longer propped up and now lying against the couch cushion.  At least it still gave you a good position to kiss him deeply from, even if the attempt to both squeeze onto the couch without invading each other’s space too much but without breaking the make-out was an awkward angled mess from the waist down you were both attempting to ignore.

Still, you could feel his heart beating in his chest as you allowed him to hold you so close to him, a soft hum building in your chest as you pressed deeper in your kiss, testing to see if he’d let your tongue delve a bit deeper, your teeth trapping one of his lips with a bit more fervor.  He was hesitant at first, you could feel the hitch in the flow as he seemed to mentally puzzle out how he felt about it.  He allowed it–for now, with hesitance–so you didn’t push it much further for the moment.  You were content to enjoy the taste of him, the depth of it, the hunger burning in you that had nothing to do with vampirism with every touch and press, the security and warmth with the way he held you oh-so-close to him, his hand doing a slow map of the curves of your back and sides.

Levi’s confidence in what he was doing was returning again, the hesitance from the depth you brought to the kiss and the new things you’d been slowly trying melting away as he figured out how to meet you in stride with it through a bit of trial and error while letting you lead–not that you had a clearer picture of how this worked.  Still, you were pretty sure it was pride you felt sparking inside you alongside the thrill of excitement when you felt Levi’s teeth graze your lips like they had earlier, followed by a quick swipe of his tongue that was almost fast enough to be brushed off as accidental.  The fact that he did it a second time was what made it obvious it wasn’t an accident, and a moan escaped your control as his tongue dared to venture as deep as yours had wandered earlier.  His hands tightened their grip on you, while yours sought out more of him, one hand tangling in his hair while the other dipped closer to his waist at his side before planting in the couch edge beside him to give you the leverage you needed to try and shift positions slightly.

There was a slight break, a gasp for air from both of you as you hovered more over him, stomach brushing against his, getting ready to swing a leg over to try and shift to straddling him.  A shudder went through Levi, and his grip tightened, but this time it was to hold you back and away, just enough that you couldn’t silence him with a kiss and he could look at you, halting the movement before your legs could lock around his waist.  His heart was beating faster, and he looked…not panicked, but definitely flustered, and he seemed to struggle to reach for the right words to explain what had just caused the interruption that was the source of the question in your gaze.

“Wait–wait, not yet, none of that–sex–it's–shit, just…”  Miraculously, there was only the slightest blush on his cheeks and his ears, but he may have been too pressed to try and explain to be the embarrassed kind of flustered.  He struggled with the words, one of your hands resting just above his heart and feeling it continue its racing pace as he fumbled with what he was trying to explain.  “Not right now, It’s too–right now, it’s too…much.”

Even though he finally settled on the words, he didn’t at all seem satisfied with how he’d put it, like it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but it was all he could manage in the moment.  But you were pretty sure you understood what he was getting at with just this bit, anyway.

You were admittedly a little thrown off by the voicing of the possibility of sex being on the table, even if it was a voicing just to set it aside.  You hadn't even thought of it as on the table in the first place, hadn't thought of it as an option yet, and it hadn't been on your mind as you'd been shifting your position to be a bit closer.

Not yet, anyway.  And now that he said it, you couldn't help but to think of it.  You couldn't help but wonder what he'd look like, mind presenting you with an image pieced together with moments from your kisses and the times you'd fed off him, your imagination filling in the gaps to give you mental imagery of Levi panting, head thrown back against the couch, hair cascading backwards and down to the couch cushion, heartbeat racing in your ears, eyes squeezed closed as they rolled from pleasure, eyebrows arched in a curve akin to his back coming off the couch as an unrestrained moan made it passed his lips–

Fuck.

You hadn't thought of it until he said it, and now your cheeks were burning as you desperately tried to shove the thought out of your head, shutting down the imagined sounds in your ears and trying to snuff out the stray thought of how unrestrained would he be if the two of you weren't pacing yourselves walking a blurry line in regards to intimacy right now that made both of you hold back in different ways.

No, no.  You hadn't even been considering it yourself before he mentioned it, he just said he wasn't comfortable with sex yet, so you didn't even want to think about it–especially not right now.  It was the first line–temporary or not–Levi had put down between the two of you, and you sure as hell were going to respect it, even if it took a couple seconds to wrestle down the images the mention of the potential future sex with Levi immediately coaxed to mind.

You'd even said yourself before trying this that you weren't thinking of doing anything too much yet.  You two…weren't there yet.  As much as the thought of Levi in the throes of sex made your heart pound in your ears and a flush of excitement try to flood through your system, sex was not the intention tonight, anyways.  You just wanted to test the intimacy behind closed doors between you two a little more, wanted to give both of you time to readjust to each other again considering how fresh and new your resolving the issues with one another was.

Not yet.  He was right.  Despite the reaction you had to the thought of it, sex was far too much right now.  Not yet.

Levi had stilled entirely beside and underneath you, holding his breath and watching every shift of your facial expression as he tried to read how you were reacting to his request, if he needed to keep trying to find the better words for what he wanted, trying to see before you spoke if he'd upset you with his request.

 “Okay,” you said simply in response, answering him hopefully before he felt the need to start explaining himself.

Levi’s gaze was trained on yours, searching every flicker of emotion he could see there.  He didn't look entirely convinced for some reason.  “…It is?”

“Yes, it is, Levi, I promise.  I don’t feel like we’re quite there yet, myself,” you responded, and when his expression seemed to turn even more dubious, you expanded a bit more on what you meant.   “It certainly feels like we might be, sometimes, but…I’d rather we continue figuring this part out, first, before we try tackling that beast.”

Levi’s gaze was still fixed on you, though the fact he had started to relax once again helped reassure you that he was accepting your explanation.  His hand shifted from its position tangled in your hair to instead carefully cup your cheek, thumb stroking along the arch of your cheekbone in slow, repetitive motions. You could have sworn there was a light of…perhaps a touch of amusement in his eyes, and this knowing look to boot that you couldn’t for the life of you understand why it was there.

“...What?” you finally asked after a few moments spent just like that, with him looking at you that way, cupping your cheek, stroking the arch of your cheekbone…

“Your eyes are red,”  He responded simply.  “Fading, now, but…they were turning red.”

You felt your cheeks heat at the heavy dose of implication in that seemingly innocent comment.  That little biological trait you couldn’t shake, at that time as the two of you were discussing sex?  Damned vampirism, giving you away like that.  He could probably guess pretty easily just where your mind went, and just how deeply those thoughts had been rooted in emotion.  It didn’t take much at all to figure out why your eyes had started turning red, and you really hoped he didn’t press on it.

He probably wasn’t going to, given that he was the one to state that it was too early for sex.

The hand removed itself entirely from your cheek, and you started to sit back as Levi shifted to get up.

“You should head back to your room.  Since you made it pretty clear we were going to talk, they’re going to ambush you in the morning.  You should be in your room, not missing from it.”

He had a point. You hated to go already, but Hange and Petra were almost certainly going to ask how the talk went and if you and Levi were on good speaking terms again as soon as possible. Saying they’d wait until morning may even be the optimistic idea of when they’d come looking for you.  If they knew you’d been with Levi ‘making up’ and you were mysteriously not in your room the next morning…

Yes.  You needed to head back to your room.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips, coaxing you back to the present gently but quickly as Levi spoke again.  “You’re pouting like a child–aren’t you sixty something?” he jabbed.

You rolled your eyes at the comment, returning the kiss with one of your own on his cheek.  “Technically speaking, though I doubt you want to go over what I think about my age all over again.  It’s fine, I’ll head back.  We’re going to be spending practically the rest of the week together, anyway.”

“On business,” Levi reminded you.  “There won’t be time for much else.”

“I know, but still,” you murmured, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his knee, to try something else that could be taken as some kind of initiation or trying to explore a bit more instead of leaving.  Maybe he didn’t mean for you to leave immediately, but you were going to take it as a dismissal. If you didn’t, then you were likely to end up continuing to look for excuses to stay.

Still reluctant, but now resolved enough to move, you got up from your seat on the couch, looking back at Levi briefly.  “I’ll see you first thing in the morning tomorrow, yes?”

Levi’s brows rose slightly.  “Have I said otherwise?”

Rolling your eyes, you did allow yourself a gentle brush against his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze before you started making your way to leave.  “Goodnight, Levi.”

“Goodnight,” you heard him answer quietly a few moments before the door shut behind you.

You wished you could linger longer in the moment, but he was right about needing to be in your own room, you didn’t want to risk being caught out of it when everyone knew where you had been the night before.

However, you had the feeling the next few days were going to be…trying.  You doubted you’d have much time to even think about anything else once you reached Emery, and who knew what waited for you upon your return that had Erwin giving you such a small window to get this done and return inside.

That little moment on the couch was just going to have to tide you over until the two of you had more than just a few moments to spare, however long that was going to be.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethrough's couldn't be tagged)

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

Wings in the Dark Tags: @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @lady-ragnvindr @subtlepjiminie @queenondeezmatatas​​ @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones @pinkberrymilktea @ascybous @emmaandemmel @wolfie3616 @aot-fanatic @jencyib @zombiukas @notgoodforlife​ @syviis @captainyanag1

[yerimbrit]

[flufftober day 10, wc: 816] - ghost photoshoot : b. jeemin

“STOP, WAIT! I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING…” jeemin panic-shouts, hands splayed in front of her and bumping into you as you tried to trace eye-holes on the large sheet that is covering her body.

“maybe if you’d hold still so i can get this done, you’ll be able to see,” you grumble out, steadying her by the shoulders and drawing two medium-sized circles in sharpie around where her eyes are. “there! now all we have to do is cut it out.”

you pull the sheet off of jeemin rather quickly, which causes her to fall forward and against you—thankfully, you catch her because you’d both be turned into a stack of pancakes otherwise. “are you alright?”

she weakly gets back up on her feet, pouting at you, “you could’ve warned me.”

“sorry babe,” you press a light kiss to her cheek, which seems to cheer her up quite a bit, “we have to get this done fast because mai-unnie’s coming soon.”

thanks to your encouragement, jeemin picks up the fabric scissors and begins cutting away at the outlined holes diligently. you do the same with another sheet of fabric which was prepared before this, and the two of you make such an efficient use of time that you finish a whole episode of some murder mystery show on netflix. jeemin’s even at the brink of slumber when mai rings the doorbell that jolts you awake.

when you open the door for the older girl, she’s almost taken aback at how drowsy your girlfriend looks. “sleepy? i’m not late, am i?”

“no, we just finished early,” you look behind you at jeemin, slightly smiling, “you have the camera?”

mai nods and gestures to her car parked outside, “in my bag. off to the photoshoot?”

“off to the photoshoot.”

there’s an assortment of props that you packed for the ghost photoshoot trend (that you may have been late to by a measly four years… but you digress) including chic sunglasses, a top hat and a cowboy hat, and a tea set. the plan is to go to a local park, risk your dignity for a few photos in case someone recognizes you, and go back home.

the photoshoot was an idea that randomly popped up in your head after doom scrolling on tiktok, and of course you had to drag your girlfriend in to do it with you. not that jeemin complained, because not to boast but you’re pretty sure she would adopt a dog to surprise you if you mention it in passing once. although it does sound nice—owning a dog together, jeemin coming home from walking the dog just in time for dinner which you lovingly prepared… such a dream.

“come here you two,” mai beckons with her hand, grabbing the white sheets from the trunk, ones that you’ll be covered with very soon. jeemin and you approach her obediently, receiving the sheets and pulling it over your heads, waiting for further instructions. “glasses,” she hands the pairs of sunglasses to you both.

now decked out in standard-ghost-photoshoot attire, you and jeemin set off to do whatever while mai captures you with her canon dslr camera (which is well-loved and also getting kind of old; you plan to get her a new one for christmas), grabbing multiple shots of different scenes thrown together.

you pat the space next to you on the ground, adjusting your sunglasses and intertwining your fingers with your girlfriend’s when she sits down. mai stands nearby, ready to press the shutter button, “three, two-”

“wait,” jeemin calls out, before reaching around you and gently easing your head down to rest on her shoulder. the action moves your glasses from their original position, but you dismiss it. “okay, ready.”

the older girl slightly shakes her head with a smile before counting down again, the sound of the shutter following soon after. she looks down, checking the recent photos and flashing a thumbs up, “i think we’ve taken a good amount.”

the three of you head straight to the car, you and jeemin still in the ghost-fit, and drive back to your place. your parents are gone for a work trip, so it’s just you guys in the house sorting through the photos. there’s some of you walking and holding hands, taken from the front, some of you wearing the hats (jeemin had the top hat, and you the cowboy hat) and pretending to sip tea, and various different shots of other poses and such.

“the others are gonna complain that we left them out,” you laugh, moving over on the bed to look at mai’s camera.

jeemin wraps her arm around your shoulder, giggling softly. “then that’s too bad for them.”

“cold much?” mai looks over her shoulder, grinning. “was this worth it to you two?”

“so worth it,” you sigh, slightly leaning back on your hands and closing your eyes.

so worth it.

flufftober masterlist!

a/n : i miss u bang jeemin i do

[skriblee-ksk]

Adeline Ordelia

Summary:

[An elegant and diligent student who seems to know exactly what she wants. She has a strong sense of justice and an aptitude for efficiency. A girl who always strives to find the truth in the name of justice, she politely detaches herself from the students of NRC out of caution because of their questionable demeanors.]

[Despite her initial awkward air, she actually has a habit of delicately (yet strictly) taking care of those who need it with a crazy amount of patience. It’s like she has experience at this.]

General Info!

Name: Adeline Ordelia

Nicknames: Adelia and Silver (only used by Cynthia to annoy her).

Birthday: August 12

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight

Dominant Hand: Right

Hobbies: Reading, Embroidery, Book binding, Journaling, and Scheduling the day.

Likes: Star Anise Tea, Victorian Styled Buildings and Outfits (or whatever equivalent in TWST), Solving Mysteries, and Chatting with Cynthia.

Dislikes: Celery and The nickname “Silver”.

Fears: Ghosts (and the specifics of after-death).

Traits: A natural talent for elegancy, Having a strong urge to do the right thing, and Dissuading people efficiently from bad decisions.

Extra Information: She has a sibling-like close friend who attends RSA, Her favorite color is a deep blue, She likes stargazing (casual), She's memorized half of Heartslabyul's rules by Year 1, and is attempting to memorize the rest by the end of this year (for fun).

“Reveal the site of what once was.” Snapshot Evidence: Adelia’s unique magic that can be used with any picture (physical or digital). To use this properly, she must think of a specific person and a specific time, and if that person was at the place she took the photo of during the time she was thinking about, the person appears in the photo permanently. It's a particular spell with a penalty system that creates more blot if she's wrong than when she's right. Thankfully, Adelia's cautious and meticulous, so it's rare for her to ever be wrong in the rare times she does use this power. Although her photos are generally known to be true through others' confirmations of events, it's not completely trusted by others because she can't solidly prove that these photo manipulations are an exact illustration of what happened. Unknown if it can accurately predict the future.

More about her under cut!!

Curiosity:

Housewarden Riddle’s overblot wasn’t the first one I witnessed.

The first one was just down my neighborhood, when I was about… Hm. 7 years old. I was coming back from a walk with my escorts when I saw Styx members quarantining the overblotted person. Mm, I guess I couldn’t call them a person anymore. I didn’t get to see much of it. I wasn’t tall enough. Still, I could see some of the damage caused to the nearby buildings, with pitch black ink dripping down and slithering through the cracks of the sidewalk.

Apparently, the sight wasn’t morbid enough since it didn’t pique my curiosity enough for me to learn about it.

Of course, until now.

Why, you may ask? Well, because I know about the basics of blot accumulation and overblots now, first off. But more importantly, because Housewarden Riddle wasn’t the last overblot I witnessed.

Doesn’t anyone else find this strange? Doesn’t anyone else find this dangerous?

Doesn’t anyone else want to piece together this awful trend? Or is it just a minor every day event for them? Are you aware of what’s happening?

It was merely sympathy at first. I respect Housewarden Riddle, and there must have been a great deal of trauma involved for him to get to that state. That’s what I told Cynthia.

But two in a row? Both of them are Housewardens. And so close in time, too. Aren’t overblots supposed to be rare? That’s why I’m curious.

Will this trend continue? And if it does, what am I going to do about it?

“What do you want to do about it?”

“I want… to help stop it.”

“I mean, you always have the choice of ignoring it, you know. Like most others do?”

“… Then why did you even ask—“

“Well, just in case~ Even though I already knew the ever-so-righteous Adelia wouldn’t just ignore it.”

“So that’s your goal, right?”

Gather data on the overblots and see if there’s any future ones.

If there are, figure out the reason.

Ultimately, help stop it, but keep others’ safe until I can find a way.

“Wow, that’s a lot. Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Even if I don’t get to all of my objectives, it’s good experience. And you’re already invested in this potential mystery, aren’t you?”

“Ehe, correct!”

I want to help people. I can’t tell you the reason, but I do. I want to save you. Even in minor ways. Even in final ways. Even if you don’t want to be saved, I want to anyway. I’m sorry.

It’s just because I’m curious.

- - -

A/N: YAYYY basically done with the YAI to TWST pipeline!!! Here's Adelia, my other daughter and the other main character of Your Artificial Image that I missed so much.

In here, basically what Adelia and Cynthia do is just. Try and find out what's happening with the overblots, and try and stop them. Near Book 5, Adelia decides to pair up with (threaten) the Headmage and get more access to the student files. Anyways, that's how those two will get more and more involved within the main story!!! I will expand more on them, hopefully. While Cynthia does things for the sake of doing, Adelia always has a reason for her actions, and that's what makes them suit each other so well!!

AND NOW!! With them, I’ll be able to draw other characters I don’t draw as much because their personalities suit other TWST characters’ dynamics!! YIPPEE YIPPEE WHAT JOY!!!!!!

anyways. yeah. thanks.

[jollyhunter]

Jolly!

Beau, Ben and Dean all show up at your house and your hubby isn’t home (I swear you said you had one somewhere, forgive me if I’ve misremembered) - what are you going to do realistically or otherwise -

AND GO

(Seriously no pressure. I was inspired by one of our moooots)

OH DEAR - BETH - HOW COULD YOU ASK ME THIS WHEN YOU KNOW I'VE GOT A PARTNER (jkjk, I love your ask, keep 'em coming)

You really put me in a pinch though lmao

Okay, I got to put a disclaimer here; This answer turned out way longer than I had planned and it's kinda tmi later (below the 'Realistically' part), but we all signed up for this judgement-free sinner site so whatever.

Let's start out with otherwise, which I have posted separately HERE as my HEADCANONS on how I'd imagine them to react.

And here's my personal take on it. (you may click away now, I won't judge you, I swear)

Alright, so. Realistically:

Honestly? I wouldn't even get to see them because I wouldn't open the door LMAO.

We just don't do that. You don't announce yourself before you come over? Nope, not even gonna bother to check the door. I'll hide in the corner of our bathroom pretending to be occupied. (Except it's that time when the mail man comes by. Then I have to.)

My dog on the other hand will very much like to open the door. Thankfully we have two doors, the second one's a heavy one so he can't open it. But I wouldn't be surprised if he'd figure it out somehow and Dean, Beau and Ben would be faced with a fully-grown White Shepherd on his zoomies.

Why do I feel like Dean and Beau would love my boy while Ben would just scowl at him for shoving his snout up his crotch? Yes, he does that. With strangers, strong enough to make them double over. (he just wants to play, I swear. No, really. He loves humans, a trait he clearly didn't get from me 😂 I must come across like a terrible person lmao. But despite all this I'm super kind and polite and sweet, pinky-promise.)

Alright then. Let's just go with this scenario for a moment. I'd scramble after my dog. And the moment I'd come face to face with them, I would probably freeze up first - then question my sanity (why's Jensen fuckin' Ackles at my door? Why's he three times at my door? And how does one get this high as a kite without ever touching a single coke? - not the drink one - the white stuff Ben likes to bury his nose in (and I wouldn't even know where to get from, right Beth? 😜)

Pretty sure Dean would give me his lopsided smile along a "Hey, sweetheart." which would already have my legs weak.

Beau would be crouched down, ruffling my dogs fur and wave up at me with a polite "Sorry to disturb ya, darlin'."

While Ben - well - his intense, narrowed hawk-eyes would just be my nail in the coffin.

And I'd just check out.

A little tmi; You know the timing of your ask is oddly perfect? Just a few days ago, my partner and I were talking about ‚what if‘ scenarios. Like - I think there was once that trend going around where couples would ask for a theoretical free card for some celeb? Yeah something like that.

And. Well. He knows I‘ve got a crush on Dean 😂 and he knows about my smut-writing and fuckin supports it (!! That man, seriously, I don't know how I deserve him). So, uh, back to the question and without getting into the spicy details, let’s just say I’d theoretically get the permission to bring one of the gents to our bed. 🤣

Who would I pick? I'd have to say Dean, always. <3

[my conscience holding me back from getting a bite of Dean, Ben and Beau all at the same time if I didn't have to pick]

[everybatmancomicreviewed]

Review 4: Detective Comics #30 (June, 1939): "The Return of Doctor Death"

Milestones: First second part of a story arc, First villain return (Doctor Death)

Summary: Doctor Death returns, and honestly, that's really all that happens.

Quote: "Only Doctor Death could be at the bottom of this. Yet he is dead. I wonder..." - Bruce Wayne/Batman

Review: I am glad to say that there isn't much to say, because this is the worst issue by far.

You wanted more racism? A new caricature for Doctor Death to boss around!

You wanted more death? Batman snacks a man's damn neck on a window ledge!

You wanted more hype moments and aura?

...

I mean, here you go.

Doesn't make the issue any better, but still.

I honestly don't have much to say, you guys need to understand how little happens in this one. Batman just has a hunch Doctor Death is alive (it's kinda sad how they clearly wanted him to be his arch enemy, we dodged a real bullet there), then Doctor Death blackmails someone without even using his damn pollen thing, Batman just easily takes down his henchman and then easily takes him down, and this time through either total luck that he found out the old guy was a costume or, like, he was that smart?? Idk, it's stupid, don't even bother with the context.

I realize some readers here may find me harsh to these old issues, but I'm not gonna hold back my thoughts just because "they're old". I don't need this to have brilliant writing, these first issues are just here to be like "Wow, isn't Batman cool?", and as someone who does that like, every day of his life, I can live with that! My problem is the lack of any real stakes or plot, the racism, and the killing. That just docks points, and while this one had some cool shots, I'm sorry, there really wasn't much there. Not one I recommend at all.

Final Score: 4/10 (the ratings are dropping faster than WB's stocks! Ha! Topical!)

Cover Rating: N/A (Batman isn't on it, again, so...)

Villain: Doctor Death (thankfully, for the last time. Malpractice suit for being really fucking cringe)

Best Character: Bruce Wayne/Batman, once more by default. Sigh.

Worst Character: How was Doctor Death even MORE generic this time?

Appearance Tracker:

1st: Bruce Wayne/Batman: 4

2nd: Commissioner Jim Gordon: 2

2nd: Doctor Death: 2

Issue ranking:

Detective Comics #27

Detective Comics #28

Detective Comics #29

Detective Comics #30 (Won't someone end this trend?)

Next Time: Detective Comics #31, featuring the second attempt at an interesting antagonist, and the first ever love interest! I mean... It's gotta be better than what we just had... Right?

[paingoes]

Rubies

Web 2.0

(Content: living weapon whumpee, guilt, conditioning, past abuse, caretaker new master)

Apollo had stayed true to his promise of making the room less sparse. He’d brought down books from upstairs so Delta would have something to do besides staring off into space whenever he locked himself in his room. He’d given him a journal too, which Delta found tremendously suspicious. Delta had a habit of destroying everything he’d ever written just as soon as he had finished. He would continue on in this tradition. Anyone having that kind of direct access to his thoughts terrified him. He was grateful for the books, though. 

It was Kitty who offered her old laptop.

“Don’t…look too hard through that,” She said with a nervous smile. She’d done all she could to reset it, but she couldn’t be sure there weren’t still some gems lying around in its SSD. 

Delta reflexively recoiled at the offer. There was such a strong impulse in his head to avoid getting caught with the laptop. It carried over now, even when freely offered. She left it on the desk for him. He would only use it in the dead of night, out of pure habit. It didn’t feel the same as it used to. It couldn’t hold his attention for very long.

There was a practical reason to reintroduce it, though. Kitty acted a bit furtive about it; Apollo said they weren’t supposed to be working. That’s what unpaid leave meant. But there wasn’t really anyone else they could kick it off to. They had to go through the archives. 

Kitty had already backed up everything he had posted publicly, plus all the exchanges they’d had in private. He’d focused in more once she’d mentioned it, agreeing it needed to be deleted as soon as possible so that there was nothing left to piece together about his alleged death. But there was other information on there that only he had access to, that they now needed to preserve before scrubbing.

katkittykat: ok we also were gonna try and offer u whistleblower immunity

katkittykat: but forget it i know u wont accept it

ndhakdvsnnd: im not a whistleblower

katkittykat: see what did i say 

ndhakdvsnnd: can you fuck off

They scrolled through the archived chat logs in dim silence. Kitty was sitting next to him on the floor with the new old laptop up on the coffee table. Neither of them needed to say it. It was weird to go through their old texts while in person. 

It wasn’t Kitty’s first time meeting an internet friend. She had done it more times than she could count. Almost all of them had been shyer and more reserved in person, so she had already expected Delta to follow in that trend. But it was clear that what was going on with him is a different beast entirely.

When she turned to look at him, his eyes were cast down again and his head was bowed. Loose strands fell in his face. He removed his hand from the touchpad, letting it rest in his lap.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I…shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“Just bants, man.” Kitty elbowed him — not a good idea. He winced, the pain reigniting in the handprint-shaped bruise around his upper arm.

“It was disrespectful.” He closed his eyes. It was guilt — not fear — that was audible in his voice.

“I’ve never done anything respectable,” she joked.

He opened his eyes to meet her own. His expression was wholly disbelieving. It wasn’t a joke to him. She remembered how sincerely he’d spoken the other day. Thank you for saving me. She’d tried to brush it off, but her heart had hurt badly afterwards. It hurt again now.

“Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” She had to resist the urge to squeeze his shoulder the way she would with her other friends; she saw how he had flinched whenever she touched him. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it again.

The loading icon went around and around as the account was deleted. Just as soon as it stopped, the home page of the forum appeared. In bold letters, it read Sign Up.

“You gonna make a new account?” She asked.

“Do you think I should?” His hand hovered over the button. 

“I dunno. You were active way before you started posting all the leaks. I thought you were having a good time with it,” she paused, “Guess it might be kind of touchy now though?”

It did make him really anxious to be on the computer. It made him feel too much like he was about to be caught out, as little sense as it made. He started to shrug, then stopped himself. Disrespectful.

“Yes, miss,” he agreed, “It’s…touchy.”

That was putting it mildly, but he had no desire to say more. He pocketed the thought, though. He probably would get back online later. It just felt like too much to do it now, without her explicit guidance. The thought alone was starting to overwhelm him. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Can I go back in my room, miss?” He asked in a soft voice. 

“Yeah, whatever. You don’t have to ask.” She tried to reassure him. He’d gotten scared at some point; she could see it in the way he held himself. She didn’t really want for him to go off to deal with it alone, but she wasn’t going to force him to stay. She watched as he disappeared behind the door. He’d left the laptop behind. She shut it for him, then stretched upwards, climbing up onto the couch.

=======

“Does he talk to you?” Apollo would later ask her. He added, a bit dejectedly, “He doesn’t talk to me.”

“Nah.” She shook her head.

“Well, it’s still early,” Apollo started arguing with himself when she wouldn’t, “I guess he’s still scared. I’m not sure what I can say to him that isn’t going to sound trite. He always hated it when I tried say stuff like that to him over text. So defensive. I don’t know if it’ll go over better or worse now.”

She could tell he’d been thinking about it often. Fussing came so naturally to him. She’d liked it a lot when they were a little younger, when she was even crazier and badly needed someone to try and reel her back in. It isn’t lost on her that Delta has the exact opposite problem, that Apollo’s delimiting nature could have the opposite effect. He badly wanted for things to be clean.

“You shouldn’t take it purrsonally.” The pun slipped into her voice even when she was trying to be serious.

“I know,” he agreed, “I…don’t think he was allowed to talk before. It’s rude to speculate. I don’t want to be presumptuous. But.”

He threw his hands up at the wrists, not finishing the sentence. There was nothing to do but speculate. It was clear enough Delta had not been treated well; the bruises spoke for themselves. But the particulars of his behavior were a kind of puzzle box. He offered no key for it.

Galatea had dealt with Empire’s lot before, both refugees and defectors. Apollo had met many of them personally. There was always a stilted manner in which they spoke. The customs of Empire still remained enigmatic to all those living outside of it. Apollo had no way of telling how much of Delta’s behavior was just a cultural difference — or even a linguistic one — and how much of it was something deeper. He could not tell how much of it was motivated by fear or confusion or simple exhaustion. How much of it was what he wanted vs what he thought he was supposed to do. Apollo wished desperately for some kind of candor between them. Still, he understood that it would be asking a lot of him at that point. He sighed. 

========

The knock was soft and rhythmic. Delta jumped, immediately moving to hide the laptop beneath his blanket. It wasn’t as good as beneath the mattress, but decent enough on short notice. He mechanically slid off the bed, dropping onto his knees at the foot of it. The door did not open.

“Can I come in?” It was Apollo’s voice on the other side. Yes, obviously. It wasn’t locked.

“Yes, sir,” Delta answered anyway. 

Apollo pushed the door open. His eyes widened a little to see Delta kneeling, but he did not show the same visible alarm that he had before. He slid the door shut behind him, leaning back against it.

“I thought it might be good for us to talk,” Apollo said. He tried to read Delta’s body language, but it did not shift by much. Deliberately controlled. He didn’t answer, staring up at Apollo with huge eyes, patient and expectant. Apollo pushed himself on. It was trite, but if there really was any confusion about Delta’s position, it wouldn’t be right to leave him hanging.

“You can sit. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. Levon told you he wasn’t going to hurt you, didn’t he? And you know that me and Kitty won’t either? You don’t have to be scared of us. You’re safe here.”

Delta didn’t move off of the ground. His head had lowered a little bit, as if he was being scolded. He didn’t take his eyes off of Apollo. 

Apollo squatted down onto his heels, trying to get to Delta’s level.

“Are you scared?” He asked.

“…Yes, sir.” Delta nodded slowly.

“Okay,” Apollo nodded too, rubbing his chin, “That’s okay. Can I ask why?”

Delta’s wrung his hands anxiously; it was a childhood habit, one he’d mostly gotten out of by the time he’d graduated. It’d returned with a vengeance.

“I don’t know.” He said shamefully. “Sir. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. I just wanted to check in on how you’re feeling. I can’t tell a lot of the time. You know you can talk to me or Kitty if you’re upset, right? We want you to be comfortable here. You can tell us if something is wrong.”

Apollo doubted it even as he said it. It seemed unlikely that Delta would come to them for anything, that he might not be physically capable of it at this point. But if he introduced the idea early — and reminded him often — it might start to sink in. For the time being, Delta did not respond.

“I’m assuming the kneeling is a habit, right?” Apollo ventured. Delta seemed a bit alarmed at the suggestion. 

“It’s just to be respectful. Sir.” Delta explained in a quiet voice.

He considered this. It might’ve been easier if it was just muscle memory, not a deliberate effort on Delta’s part. The mindset would be harder to get him out of. But Apollo was very glad that Delta had been willing to explain his reasoning to him. It was a good sign.

“Okay. You don’t have to,” He stated very clearly, “You can stand up. We won’t think it’s disrespectful. No one else will, either. You don’t have to do it.”

Again, not much changed in Delta’s expression. He offered the same quiet noise of affirmation, not voicing anything else. 

“Do you have any questions?” Apollo cursed himself for not asking sooner. But Delta didn’t take advantage of the opportunity the way he had hoped. 

“No, sir.” Delta folded his hands in his lap. He’d answered too soon. Apollo wondered if the question had come across as bullying. He got the sense he was starting to push too far out of Delta’s comfort zone. 

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything. Like I said, you can talk to us whenever. We’re right out here.” He stood up, feeling a little bad that Delta was still kneeling. He started to close the door.

He heard a soft “Thank you” just before it clicked shut.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat