#thanks again I love discussing berserk

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write hcs for how everyone would be at a carnival?? Thank you<3

The Best of All Amenities (All x MC/Reader - Carnival/Amusement Park HCs)

I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS >:D

Hello my beloved Anon, I hope you have an awesome day/night! <33 Thanks for letting me write this for you, and I'm sorry for the extreme lateness of this. I'm on my knees right now forgive me Anon raaaa.

Btw I'm getting back into the habit of writing so cut me some slack for this one. I'm also not experienced with carnivals at all so I apologise for potential inaccuracies my dear. </33

Post-Completion A/N: I just realised this said carnival instead of fucking amusement park I'm so done. I tried to make it work for both I'm sorry Anonnie. i'm sorry but have this anywayy because i've never been to a carnival and don't know what the hell goes on there and also I am kinda silly and if this is inaccurate I apologise

T.W.: Mentions of vomiting.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Amenities: something that helps to provide comfort, convenience, or enjoyment. 

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Brittney is a walking carnival let's be real.

Like her hair screams classic circus-tent except the white and red is pink and blue.

Would get cotton candy and judgmentally eat it while surveying the rides.

Y'all would be going around looking at everything.

She's probably gonna try to not get on anything because she's shitting herself at the thought of getting on a coaster frfr "not bothered".

Will carry iced coffee around, she somehow has an endless surplus of coffee. It's genuinely terrifying.

You both will wander around and gossip, along with judging the outfits of everyone else like it's a fashion strip.

Will get angry af if the line takes too long.

Will get on at least 1 ride out of spite, ends up almost vomiting. "Never again."

Y'all are paparazzi tho like shit's crazy with how many photos you both take of each other. shame it ain't the kinky kind

Deryl would go berserk. Like this boy will literally lose his marbles from joy.

If you invite him to any gathering, amusement park, carnival (hell any park at all), this boy will be dragging you everywhere.

Indecisive about where to go.

Very indecisive about what to eat. he'll harass you for food teehee

Is the type to get really excited about rollercoasters, until it's your turns to go on one.

In that case he'll start panicking.

You'll have to convince him he's not gonna die.

Will be quaking in his boots from fear.

Don't worry he gets on the ride anyway. Especially if he gets one from you after.

Will just be having a blast despite the terror tbh.

Will not go into any haunted house tho.

Like he will sprint out of there.

You'll have to run after him so he won't get lost lmfao.

Will expect emotional support from you after.

You both have a massive ton of fun tho prepare for more bedroom edition fun later.

Jess will be sceptical.

Don't get her wrong, she'd love to go.

But she's shy and a massive homebody.

and can't socialise to save her life

When you both get there, she'll be overwhelmed by the amount of people.

Sorry broski you're gonna have to do the talking.

Will be scared af of the rides, will clutch onto you for dear life.

May be the type to silently vanish and reappear because she's a midget often caught up in staring at venues and looking at things.

Will be the type to just cling to you tbh

She's either glued to you or unstick so hard and fast she'll teleport to the other side of the planet.

You'll probs take photos tbh, she does have an internet influence.

Y'all will be discussing each others' fav idols and celebs over desserts.

And of course loving each other's company and hopefully bodies.

Crowe will be happy to go wherever with you.

So he'll def be willing to do anything at this entertainment complex.

Yáll are probs gonna grab some snacks and take more mellow rides tbh.

He doesn't seem the type to like really violent ones.

Will probably be the type to just observe you go on a ride.

Will also take photos. He wants to admire you remember this day. <33

Will hold your drinks as well.

Will just serve as your porter and server let's be real.

He'll def go on the more chill rides tho.

Will even let his hair down to feel the wind. >:]

and also so you can pull it ngh

10/10 hair pulling sesh would do again yeehaw

You both have an epic day together. Time for an even sexier night

Hyugo would have already been dragging you places.

So when he stumbles upon the existence of this place, you bet he's taking you there.

Y'all are gonna be fucking parading around.

He's gonna just *point* somewhere and you're going.

Like it's not even a question or a debate.

He'll have a maniacal grin on his face while doing it too.

i'm scared send help

shawty getting a tad cray cray here

You're going on a ride hehe and he's gonna stare ahead very intently, grip the steel bar and have a very spoopy grin on his face.

Has a blast.

Y'all go everywhere, you make time for everything.

He'll shoot people in the line to make sure you have time teehee

y'all wont get arrested cause his daddy's got money

Oh. And candy.

You both eat all the candy.

You both also spend like 2 hours vomiting because of how much candy you had.

10/10 would puke guts out again.

But you both genuinely just have a blast. Shame it ain't a blast of smth white and sticky.

Geo will spawn at the venue with the most monotone expression ever. he's still shocked you invited him teehee

Will recoil at the sight of the massive crowds, will probably drag you off somewhere quieter.

Alas there aren't that many 'quiet' places to go to, so he'll grow to tolerate it (because of you and only you).

Will be the type to order food that he knows you like felt like getting, gives it to you anyway.

Will not be caught dead going on a ride, the screaming irritates him too much.

Unless you beg enough, then he'll do one of his choosing. (it's the most violent one because he wants you to stop calling him a scaredy-cat).

Will be dead silent the whole time, gets off unfazed AF (he'll be hiding his nausea dwdw).

Will also probably hide his face because...his influence, his reputation, (his beautiful sexy face), the fucking paparazzi.

Will probably try to make you go somewhere else with him after, like a cafe or smth, somewhere 'peaceful'.

Does enjoy himself though, will probably not admit it due to...pride.

Only thing is; nowhere's more peaceful than your bed teehee

Sol literally will be squealing with joy if you ask him to go anywhere with you.

This man is too down bad to live.

May or may not buy ice cream so he can watch you sensually lick it.

This bastard will 110% enter any form of haunted house just to see if you'd (hopefully) cling to him.

Will end up clutching your hand either way. <333

Everything is on him, like. E v e r y t h i n g. even you!!

You can't pay for anything, 'tis illegal.

Will be the type to just sit on a ride and hold back a smile because he's not bothered to scream like everyone else (he hates it when people do that, will probs wear headphones for the noise), so he'll just sit there and quietly rejoice.

Will bring his own food beforehand, in case you both don't wanna spend money on the stupidly expensive food there.

Is genuinely happy af tho, this guy will do whatever you want, win whatever you want.

Also will threaten people to move out of the line if they're holding it up or something.

Has no shame.

And that's okay.

Because the shameful things he does in the bedroom is more than enough to balance it out. ;)

You both have a banger time tho. *claps approvingly*

[bthump]

Do you think Griffith had agency when deciding to do the eclipse? He was backed into a pretty bad corner

Yes and no, but I don't really think of agency as 'having a free choice between multiple things without any pressure pushing you towards one specific option,' when it comes to discussing fictional characters. I think of agency as part of how a narrative is framed. Does the character make active decisions, or are they passively pushed along by the story and only react to other characters' decisions?

One thing I really like about Griffith's narrative is it feels like he has agency. He's being manipulated, he's been through hell, there's clearly only one option genuinely available to him based on everything we know about his circumstances and his character and his goals and his priorities and his fears and his desires and emotions - but that's why it's a great, well-written moment of choice. Because the factors that go into that choice hinge largely on Griffith's personality and internal life.

He's not driven to choose the sacrifice because Void put a gun to his head and said 'become a demon or die.' It's not even really about a choice between 'become a demon or live the rest of your life in powerless misery.' That's part of it from Griffith's perspective, but it's not an objective fact that he's doomed to misery, and it's not his driving motivation, it's more like the final straw.

He's driven to choose the sacrifice because he's spent a lifetime convincing himself that he needs to justify his existence by achieving a dream, and because his love for Guts ruined his life and he wants to cut that love out of himself, and because he's terrified of living a life of being taken care of, and because he's in the middle of a suicidal breakdown and he sees it as an escape.

It would be boring if the reasons he chose the sacrifice didn't come from strong characterization, but rather from plot circumstances. As a fictional character, he has narrative agency here, and I love it. In theory he could've said no, but we know he never would, because we understand Griffith as a person, and we can see how this set of circumstances play on his character and personality to guarantee he'll choose the sacrifice.

That said, on a watsonian, in-universe level, he doesn't have agency lol because fate exists. Almost no one in Berserk has agency, and so far even the characters who could theoretically go against fate haven't yet, as far as I can tell.

And I guess I'll also say that, again on a watsonian level, using a more irl definition of agency, an outside observer could easily argue he has no agency because of the extreme circumstances of the sacrifice. Like, when gods descend from the heavens after you attempt suicide and tell you you can escape your pain and achieve your life's goal after all and all you have to do is sacrifice a bunch of people who already agreed to potentially die for that goal, plus the guy who you blame for ruining your life, well, it's a pretty coercive circumstance.

But yeah on a narrative level I think the scene works as a satisfying climax to the Golden Age arc because the reason Griffith makes the sacrifice isn't 'he felt like his hands were tied' but rather 'his characterization organically led to this choice.'

Thanks for the ask!

[beevean]

You know I actually don't mind Mathias' backstory essentially being a repeat of Dracula's in SOTN

Yes it's a pretty sexist use of female love interests, the early IGA era had this issue pretty frequently

But in a way this sort of plays into the theme of Dracula being stuck in a cycle

He became evil due to tragedy, years later he encounters what was most likely the literal reincarnation of his late wife thus giving him a second chance at happiness but it was also taken from him causing him to further spiral into the darkness and into a seemingly endless cycle of hatred and resurrections. Soma would of course then finally manage to break the cycle though he once almost got trapped in it again thanks to Celia's scheme which recreated circumstances similar to Dracula's turn to evil

It's like fate itself wanted for Dracula to be evil and to stay that way

In fact if you think about it Chaos is not only the manifestation of humanity's evil but is also capable of influencing people during their worst times: it's due to Chaos' influence that people periodically attempt to resurrect Dracula

Knowing this one has to wonder: was it really a coincidence that those villagers killed Lisa right when Dracula was starting to regain his humanity?

Did Death, an entity created by Chaos, start to obey Mathias due to his possession of the Crimson Stone....or was it a deeper motive?

Is the destiny of mankind controlled by some transcendental entity or law?

I say that plot-wise it is very lazy (not helped by the fact that we know very little about these women, poor Elisabetha), but character-wise I don't mind that Dracula is painted as an asshole with little respect for his wives, to the point that the official timeline confirms that he got attracted to Lisa because she looked like Elisabetha.

If we see Dracula's story through a Berserk-esque lens of "you can't fight fate, you are doomed to become an agent of evil and an entity beyond will do its best to break you", it's far more tragic. And it fits, since Chaos is pretty much the Idea of Evil. I also proposed that Death helped Mathias creating the Crimson Stone not just because he was bound to it, but because he knew that Mathias would be fated to become the Dark Lord.

Much like with Griffith, we can discuss where Dracula's agency ends, and destiny begins. (but i hope no one says unironically "dracula did nothing wrong" lol)

[nerdywyrds]

@kittykittyhunter said in response to this post: Tbh, the Zoids Battlr Commission seems a bit flaky — they allow Vega to participate in the Royal Cup despite him being affiliated with the Backdraft Group. The ZBC also rely on the Blitz Team to deal with the Backdraft Group in the first place, so… you know? I think Stoller did receive some backlash when he left the Backdraft (Altile said something about him not getting away with it iirc — which is funny because Stoller absolutely got away with it), but yeah, being able to nab the Elephander? Withour any repurcussions? That's WILD.

Though I suppose my in-universe explanation would be something convoluted like: the Committee of 7 thought their clients would find it amusing to watch Stoller return to the battlefield as a warrior again, so they shrug emoji'd and let him go.

As for Piers and Sanders… maybe the Backdraft weren't toobupset by their departures due to their respective losses.

(Sorry for spamming; Zoids is SO GOOD and there is practically nothing on here about New Century Zero fhdjjd)

And in response to this post: OP I WILL ALSO CARE ABOUT YOUR STOLLER FIC. He's so damn cool??? Like, what the heck!

Aww thank you so much for your responses! They made me really happy.

My vague thoughts were that Stoller and Sanders left together, probably during some time that there was some sort of shakeup happening in Backdraft and resources were unavailable to chase two defectors down. It could be during a Blitz Team battle, or maybe a test run with the Berserk Fury or something. (It's been a while since I've watched all of the episodes, so I don't remember the exact sequence of events.)

They know that if Backdraft catches them they'll die get smeared across the floor, so they go to the Battle Commission and promise to spill a bunch of secrets and let them study Elephander or whatever in return for protection. Battle Commission says hell yes, and probably puts a tracking system in Elephander or something to keep an eye on these guys and make sure their defection is real.

In my head Backdraft would make multiple attempts to get the Elephander back and also like, punish Stoller and Sanders, but that all happens off-screen since Blitz Team isn't involved. It's during this period that Pierce nopes out after her talk with Bit. Since she's by herself and has a much smaller, faster, and more transportable zoid, she has an easier time slipping under the radar.

As far as I remember, she doesn't ever have a legal battle with Blitz Team, so she probably doesn't register with the Battle Commission and just remains on the down low. She and Stoller and Sanders probably have a lot of fraught discussions about selling out before they're able to smooth things between them. Ex-Backdrafts have to stick together!

Presumably Stoller really loves the Elephander to want to bring it with him so badly. XD

Anyway, thank you so much for commenting! I'm glad to find another Stoller fan out there in the world!

[lostsoulaltair]

Hi there! I wanted to discuss this ever since leaks came out, but I wanted to respect you and everyone else. Didn't wanna spoil, that's all haha.

Did you notice Shikama was injured in ch133? He seemed fine in the last chapter, he was in the experimentation room but he didn't have any sort of wounds. However, when Shinoa met him again, he was wounded and busy. Could it be that something happened when Yuu told Mika to go beyond their limits?

I mean, in chapter 130 both Mika and Yuu confirm that Mika doesn't have much time left since they both sense he's becoming a full demon. And in chapter 132 we saw both needing to go full power against many high ranked vampires...

I think chapter 133 could have missed to show Saito and Shikama's pov on purpose, where they see Yuu/Mika go berserk. It adds up with the coincidence that Shinoa, someone who can absorb/control demons, is right now at the same place and trying to save Yuu.

I can only think that something like the demon thing might have happened or worse, that Yuu and Mika alerted a higher power...

Btw great analysis on chapter 133! I enjoyed it a lot. Is it really possible for Shinoa to use the light power? What a theory!

Hello dear anon! It's been a good while 😆 and it's all good. Now that the chapter is available, well first of all, I thank you that you liked the analysis 😊 it means a lot.

As for the topic of question:

1.Shikama being injured

Yes, seeing Shikama injured was a big surprise given that it was a huge jump from Yuu facing the progenitors to how Shikama was physically okay but, we have to consider something.

Shikama is physically alright on the outside, but it's very different what goes on his heart. We can only ponder or question what exactly injured him that badly within his heart. Was it what Rigr did to him? Does it relate to the fact that Guren is not there?

But it could also be as you mentioned, a higher power related to the angels. Given and taking back from chapter 108, we saw that the angels pretty much praised they had found the sinner. But thanks to Rigr, he managed to escape the sight of the angels again.

We can only wait for what it's to come.

2. Mika's time is running out

As you mentioned and funny enough I was discussing that with a friend of mine last night

One thing I can only theorize is that: at first, we didn't have full information about how demons were born and of course, Mika was a prime example of how demons were born.

Taking that information as a base, we take the next base of information as guidance which is when Mika was a half vampire.

You might wonder or perhaps you may have thought about this as well but; Mika when he was a half vampire, his eyes were blue, but once he became a full vampire, his eyes turned red; it could be that as a newborn demon, his eyes remained blue along the fact that he at first couldn't consume negative desires but given the mention of him becoming a full demon, this only suggests that there is a time set for demons to fully mature. Along the possibility for him to have his eyes turn red. But well, that's just theory or speculation for the time being.

3. Shinoa being capable of using light

One thing that did make me curious is the very fact that she could devour darkness. As a human capable of resisting demons, of literally not letting them devour her heart in contrast to how others need to let them take and devour many desires to get power, it is mentioned from the LNs that there is no need for that; but the condition needed wasn't a desperate love.

Usually the manga tends to talk about love; but as I mentioned, love takes many forms and the manga has proved it so far. One thing I came to appreciate between JP and Spanish (my mother language) is how the term "love" is not so simple to fall in the category of romance but rather, it is when your actions speak, when you show concern, worry, when you try to make someone realize their mistakes so they won't walk on them again, it is to literally ensure they are not alone. And as they say, "love" turns into "light".

I hope this answers some things though of course we have to wait for the new chapter that will come next month to know further.

Thank you anon!

[marisramblings]

“Griffith did Nothing Wrong”

I’m going to need you all to humor me until the eclipse. Tw: SA

Let’s set the stage that spawned this post. I stumbled upon Berserk when I was 9 years old. This was the early days of YouTube (2009) when anime was uploaded with abandon and minimal copyright. Don’t ask me to explain why my 9 year old self was watching gory anime scenes—I also found Umineko no Naku Koro Ni—I was and that’s it. I saw part of the eclipse episode, but I could never find the full show. I’ve known about Berserk for years. With only a passing interest, I learned most of the plot of the Golden Age arc. I’ve known for years what happens during the eclipse, but never the details of the story. I could’ve read the manga, but I decided to wait until it finished. A manga that was in publication for over 30 years does not give me confidence. Authors die and I refuse to start any series that’s been petering along for decades. It’s too disappointing, and I don’t feel like experiencing that again. Well, Kentaro Miura did die and there was a lot of discussion on whether his staff will continue the manga (they are), so I just shelved it.

So, here I am in 2022. I think I just had a passing curiosity, as adhd is apt to do, and looked up Berserk (1997) and found the whole show subbed. Finally, I could watch this show I’ve been curious about for 10+ years. Watch I did, and Griffith became my favorite character.

“But he’s a—“ I know. “He did—“ I promise you, I know. I know what Griffith did, and does, and I love him. After staunchly touting the “Griffith did everything wrong” I am here to say, Griffith is not a bad person. In fact, Griffith didn’t do anything wrong.

Bitch, the fuck?

Hi, if you’re still reading, thank you. I will ignore the pitchforks and hanging rope and quickly explain myself. This post is defending pre-eclipse Griffith. Admittedly, I’m not even mad about the eclipse, though one obvious part will never sit well. Let’s start at the beginning.

Griffith wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t evil. At best, he was a cold, callous, self-centered man. He’s right, Griffith forced no one to join him or forced anyone into battle. Yes, the only reason he created the Band of the Hawk, slept with creepy adults, fought battles, and committed a few assassinations was in service to his dream. No, that doesn’t make him evil. Griffith makes no illusions to his followers, he doesn’t pretend to be their friend or give a damn. He has a goal and he will do what he needs to achieve it. Get in line or fuck off.

Some may argue that objectifying those around him makes him bad. For me, good and bad aren’t the only choices. Griffith is neutral. He’s not a good person by any means, though. Our hawk reads to me as someone incapable of fostering true connection. He’s abnormally pretty, which definitely caused him issues, inquisitive, and quite intelligent. He started forming his mercenary group around 13-15 years old. I do relate this, living in your own world that no one else seems to or wants to understand. There are often two reactions to that, desperately try to fit in or see others as NPCs.

Griffith is a child

If you look into our cast’s ages, most of them are 17-25. Griffith is about 20-21 by the end of the Golden Age arc. What I’m trying to empress upon you all is that he’s young. I’m 22, and while I definitely feel adult, working at a retirement home puts my life in perspective. 22 is fucking young. There are people who have been retired longer than I’ve been alive. Griffith is a fucking child and, in my opinion, the most childish person after Rickert and Charlotte.

Let’s analyze his dream. Little boy Griffith dreamt of having a kingdom. He dreamt of knowing his place in the world, and of being more than a peasant with a run of the mill life. Having a kingdom, living in a castle, these are the dreams of children. Griffith is clinging to something childish. That may seem unrealistic, I mean, Griffith commands thousands of men, he’s a viscount, he sniffed out and snuffed out political subterfuge, he clearly has a real world grasp of the complexities of running a kingdom. He knows how to get his dream, though that requires severe luck or causality, but the dream itself is hollow like a child’s. He wants a kingdom. Do we ever see people in the kingdom? Do we every see anyone standing by Griffith’s side? Do we see culture, holidays, anything but a castle on a tall hill? Griffith has accumulated a mountain of bodies for something so empty. Griffith is a man with the dreams of a child, but his actions have adult consequences and that is something that eats him alive. He feels guilt and regret and buries deep within so he can avoid it. Someone died on his order? That’s fine, they’re just a toy I’m using. We need money and I had to sleep with Gennon? It’s not traumatizing that I was only a few years older than his slaves and that may have been my first sexual experience. I’m not making this point to excuse his actions, just his mindset. Griffith appears adult and in some respects he is, but he’s also a child who’s been in a bit of arrested development.

Yes, he’s an asshole

Turns out when everything goes your way forever and everyone seems to love the act you put on, you become kind of an arrogant prick. Still not the most egregious I’ve seen, but a prick nonetheless. Part of that is due to his controlling nature. Griffith is neurotic levels of control freak, something I also relate to. There’s a script that must be followed and damn anyone who dares step from it (Guts). This is going to be a Griffith is autistic post, isn’t it? He’s also an intj and I’ve gotten intp and intj consistently…

People don’t treat objects well, that’s why objectification is usually bad. You’re not friends with objects and you don’t mourn objects, please ignore the scars on my upper arms and the smile that never reaches my eyes. For the most part, Griffith isn’t an active asshole. He’s not walking up to his men and saying he finds them expendable. He’s not gossiping with them.

He does admit to Charlotte, in an incredibly rare moment of vulnerability, that he only considers people with their own dreams his equal. I can see where that comes from. Everyone worships the ground he walks on. You can’t have an equal and genuine relationship with people who worship you. Think a celebrity dating a fan, not impossible but very unlikely to be successful. There’s also a little glimmer into Griffith, that people without dreams piss him off. An intrinsically and unique facet of who he is. We all have values that shape our opinions of others.

Let’s talk Charlotte (No, I’m not discussing the age gap. It’s the Middle Ages)

I’ve dubbed that sex scene as dubcon. I am using a fanfic term, but that’s how I see it. For some, dubcon is noncon and that’s fine. I’m not here to argue. Griffith was forceful, and he did push, but I feel if Charlotte had said “no” again and continued to resist, he would’ve quit. Charlotte was an ego boost and control freak panic. Griffith lives in a world where everyone loves him and women would jump his bones at a moment’s notice. He needs to reaffirm this “fact”, he needs the world where he gets what he wants and everyone gives happily. Also, raping the fucking princess might get you…killed. Charlotte is a sweet girl and Griffith was thinking about another person while deflowering her, I assume with little prep. This was fucking shitty.

The day of the eclipse

For the longest time, I thought the eclipse was a couple of months after Griffith was rescued. It’s the next day. You know how people decry torture because it can drastically damage a person’s physical and mental health and cause severe trauma? I had to look away during Griffith’s torture, that shit was medieval. Cut tendons, pulled nails, branding, rape, probable castration, tongue cut, bones broken, pierced by thick needles…he went through this for a year.

Trauma like that can change your personality. I’m not surprised that in his pain Griffith blamed Guts. Remember, this man is a child. Children blame others instead of themselves. Guts broke through his mask and was his first true emotional connection. Then, Guts left. He veered off script and threw the laws that govern Griffith’s the world. That can’t do. Of course Griffith had to sleep with Charlotte. The laws needed to be mended. Guts forced his hand and now he’s here practically dead on the cold cobblestone floor smelling like piss and shit and watching the wall swirl into a hallucination of demonic beings in a room out of relativity. I’m not expecting rationality from Griffith. I’m honestly impressed that he could process words.

Did he attempt to rape Casca in the wagon? Kinda? I thought this at first, but then thought that he was really seeking normal physical comfort. We never see Griffith hug people or seek physical comfort. One could say that Charlotte served that purpose as well, though that is straight speculation.

I see the belief for rape, but I also see the same line of thinking with Charlotte. It’s his ego. Women were throwing themselves at him. I feel like rape, in this instance, would only hurt his ego. He’s Griffith, he doesn’t need to force women. They’ll all kill for the chance to be in his godly prescence. So when Casca turns away and rebuffs him, he stops. Casca, his most devoted follower who would’ve jumped at the chance last year, refuses him. I don’t think she even perceived it as assault. Griffith is that pathetic.

Griffith has been free for a day. Let’s list what happens: He’s too weak to even choke Guts. Guts and Judeau, seasoned soldiers, are horrified by his face. A soldier reveals his emaciated body to his men. The group he painstakingly formed, fought for, sold his body for, look at him in pity and rally around the man he blames for his state. His most ardent defender is in love with said man and looks at him with pity. She will stay out of pity, but not love/admiration. The kid he envisions isn’t his because I tell you at least his balls are gone. His one life goal is shattered.

I will be getting a little personal. My dad had a stroke and he’s now disabled. He isn’t handling the change well. His pride is hurt, he feels like a child, he feels weak and pathetic and emasculated. His attitude is less than stellar and he lives in denial that he’ll be working a fast-paced job and being the breadwinner again. That is Griffith, except his denial is shattered when he shatters his elbow. He doesn’t have time to truly process anything. All of this shit hits him at once and he attempts to kill himself. He also fails at that.

Pre-torture Griffith would never kill himself, and now post-torture can’t even manage that. He can’t walk, talk, or do the most basic of things. His life at 21 is fucking over. That brief fantasy was denial. His hair won’t grow back, the skin on his face will never look normal. So, we get the eclipse.

@blood-ember made a great post. The god hand had to wait for an extremely traumatized man, isolate him, and show him strange visions that egged him into sacrificing the Band of the Hawk. Griffith was an amalgamation of emotions, not just negative ones. He still felt love for his group and Guts and Casca. I cannot view a quick decision made in such horrendously manipulative circumstances as valid. Griffith would not have made this decision last year.

Yassified Griffith Femto is not human, he doesn’t feel in the same way and has been imbued with literal evil. I do think raping Casca is in character, but I mostly blame Miura. For some reason, the demons that kill everyone else, instead rip off Casca’s clothes and assault her. Guts is only alive because he’s Guts. Casca was kept alive by Miura, not Griffith, to be raped. Griffith was still in his cocoon when that shit happened. Miura treated Casca in the most sickening and misogynistic manner possible. Griffith is wrong, and this is an action that I will never dismiss or diminish. Kento Miura should’ve killed Casca.

Conclusion

I like Griffith because I like morally bankrupt, intelligent pretty boys. Makishima Shogo is my favorite Pyscho-Pass character next to Akane. Griffith isn’t a bad person for most of the Golden Age arc. He reminds me of myself in some ways. The odd man out, isolated, a little childish, and analytical. He’s a great character and I hold no illusions that he’ll get a good end. He will probably die and I’m not mad. He deserves it. This arc is a good story. I wish they had developed our side cast more because the only ones I cared about at the end were Rickert and Judeau. Pippin, I do love you, but I know shit about you.

After a decade of going off other people’s assumptions, I have seen the full picture and changed my mind. Griffith, at least until the eclipse, really did nothing wrong.

[scarletwritesshit]

Makoto Niijima x Goro Akechi ☪ They Hate to see a Girlboss Winning ☪ Chapter 1: "Research"

Makoto desperately held onto the handle with one hand while trying to maintain a firm grip on her phone with the other. She was unable to finish her tasks at Shujin Academy before the rush hour hit, and thus was unable to find a place to sit down on the train. It was nearing 5:00 in the evening, the time she had hoped to be home by. Unfortunately, she found herself cleaning up a lot more messes than she anticipated. Ryuji's carelessness can be thanked for that; the sudden influx of discussions about Big Bang Burger would quickly draw suspicion to their group being the ones directly responsible for the murder of Okumura.

Of course, that wasn't true, but they are the ones who infiltrated his palace in the first place. One can only act so inconspicuous when guilty.

Especially if your name is Ryuji Sakamoto.

Makoto struggled to manipulate her fingers to the TV station app on her phone with only one hand. She hung on for dear life as the passengers around her were unaware of the concept of personal space. After a painful moment of finger wiggling, Makoto finally achieved victory and managed to turn into the live programming.

One small problem. It buffered. And buffered. And buffered.

Makoto grew anxious. The program was due to start in a few short minutes. She needed to scavenge every little bit of information she could get her hands on; commentary, footage, anything. With him threatening to disband the Phantom Thieves, every minute he was on air was threat that couldn’t be ignored.

She was determined to take responsibility and monitor his every move.

Makoto breathed a sigh of relief as the app finally connected. The program was only just starting as the applause went wild and the logo flashed on the screen.

She shoved her phone into her pocket to pull out her earbuds and put them in, something she should’ve done beforehand. While still holding on for dear life, Makoto pulled her phone back out of her pocket and rotated it, shaking it in frustration due to the full screen not rotating immediately.

"Once again, we are featuring the ace detective, none other than Goro Akechi, on tonight's show!" the host said with a bit too much enthusiasm for Makoto.

The crowd went berserk, shredding through her ears as if a thousand knives pierced her skull. She didn't exactly understand the hype behind this guy and seeing his fans go feral got under her skin in a way she could not explain. Her eye twitched as Akechi motioned for the crowd to quiet down with a smile on his face.

"I am delighted to be here with you all once again," he said with a smile on his face, although it looked quite forced.

The crowd didn't care or even seem to notice. They once again busted out her eardrums with overly enthusiastic cheering.

All of this for a little chance at free intel, she thought.

"Now then, everyone is absolutely raring to know more about the identity of the Phantom Thieves. Word has been going around that you know their true identity, correct?"

Akechi's expression shifted from a forced smile to a more serious scowl.

"I do. I know exactly who those foul criminals are. It's a matter of catching them in the act so I can bring all of them to justice."

"Does your work permit you to reveal the identities of the thieves to the public?"

Makoto's heartrate soared upon hearing this question. If he dropped the names of the Phantom Thieves on live television, not only would the group as a whole be doomed, but their lives as individuals would be as well.

Akechi shook his head. "I can not yet reveal what the names of the culprits are. If I did, not only would it drive them into hiding, but it would make my mission far more difficult as well."

Makoto breathed a sigh of relief. At least for this evening, the Phantom Thieves were safe.

Akechi crossed his legs and winked at the crowd, his fearsome scowl suddenly turning into a devious smile.

"Besides that, I couldn't endanger my lovely fans, now could I?"

The crowd, of course, absolutely lost it at this clever move of his.

Even when speaking in regards to his greatest enemy, he somehow manages to remain incredibly charismatic. It irks me.

Makoto's head was beginning to ache at the frustration of Akechi's painfully confident attitude and the peoples' blind following of him. With the mission of tackling an entire group that traverses the boundaries of the Metaverse and reality, she was baffled that he was able to still somehow force himself into a charming smile.

It must be part of his scheme, she thought.

The camera focused on him as he described his experiences as if it were some sort of mystery novel directed towards young women. It felt like quite the drag listening to him, but Makoto somehow remained fixated on Akechi as his words captivated the audience. Even if it was all a web of blatant lies, he did a damn good job keeping the audience on his side.

Through her earbuds, Makoto heard a familiar voice call out for her. She quickly turned her attention to right behind her, where the voice was coming from.

"I didn't know you were into that guy's show," Ren teased.

"I'm...I'm only watching it for research purposes," Makoto said in defense.

"I merely jest," he said with a little laugh. "We're going to find out everything eventually with Futaba’s app once we implement it, though."

"There could be subtle details we missed. He's bound to have slipped something under our noses when we weren't paying attention."

"You really take after your sister, never letting even the slightest detail go unnoticed. Just don't watch too much of that guy or I will otherwise have to assume that you're developing a crush on him."

Makoto was taken aback by his unprovoked comment. She was left without words as she felt her face burn up ever so slightly. He looked at her with a teasing smile, completely unaware of the nerve he just struck.

Sure, he has the good looks and a charming personality, but Ren doesn't seriously think that, does he?

Completely averting Ren's mischievous gaze, Makoto rolled her eyes back to her phone, which was still conveniently featuring Akechi at the current moment. She stared at him for a few seconds before Ren once again broke the silence, causing Makoto to immediately turn back around.

“Now you’re really worrying me,” he said.

“Ren, he’s our enemy. I assure you that there is no reason for you to be worried.”

Ren’s bag unzipped, and Morgana poked his head out through the small hole that he opened for himself.

“Then why did you act all flustered now?” Morgana mewed, with an expression as smug as that as a four-legged cat’s could get.

“Not you too…”

Ren pushed Morgana’s head back into the bag and zipped it shut. He protested with a muffled “hey,” which probably sounded like an auditory hallucination of a disgruntled kitten to the passengers around. Morgana shuffled around inside the bag, but did not attempt to reopen it.

“Say what you want but I have a feeling that you’re hiding something from not only us, but yourself. Mehehehe…”

“Morgana, quiet,” Ren said, patting the bag. “My train pass doesn’t apply to cats, you know.”

“Only people have access to those kinds of human rights, Morgana,” Makoto said, putting him down in return for the teasing.

Morgana shuffled around in the bag once again, but Ren kept gently pushing his head down to suppress his meowing. Meanwhile, Makoto turned around to ignore Morgana and Ren's ruckus that was almost directly behind her. She didn't want to draw any more attention to herself, or the fact that she was willingly(?) watching a TV program with 98% of its basis around how incredibly hot Akechi is.

All of his attempts at wooing the audience meant less chance of accidental hints being dropped as to the details of his true plan, but Makoto had to continue watching regardless.

Well, she didn't necessarily have to keep watching, but she chose to as a precaution.

The train was coming to a halt, finally arriving at her stop after what felt like forever. The ride back home usually didn't drag on this badly, but the constant teasing from Ren and the annoying cat made it feel longer than usual. With her phone still in her hand, Makoto struggled to fight through the crowd of people entering and exiting the stop. While she was weaving through the crowd, she looked at Ren one last time to see if he was going to slide her a sly, suggestive smile.

“Well, this is my stop,” she said, in an attempt to not be awkward (or suspicious).

“See you tomorrow morning, Makoto,” Ren said, waving her goodbye.

The bag in which Morgana resided unzipped once again. He shot his head up before Ren had a chance to force him back down.

“See you, Akechi's secret fangirl,” he said, with the intention to get her worked up. He knew that Makoto wouldn't have the chance to retaliate, otherwise, she would miss her stop. Ren shoved his head back into the bag once more, with Morgana mewing out of satisfaction rather than distress.

“Ren...tell your damn cat to keep quiet,” she said between her teeth.

“I'm not a cat!” a muffled voice said from beneath the force of Ren's hand.

Makoto hurried home out of pure irritation from their unwarranted comments during the ride home. She had to rely on her peripheral vision, as her main focus was still the program for any and every crumb of information. Absolutely nothing useful was coming from it; Akechi was being as “lovable” and “trustworthy” as ever.

When Makoto arrived home, she unlocked the door with her free hand and set her bag down on the table. She took out her earbuds and turned up her phone's speaker so that she could hear every single word as she organized her workload from the day.

Shortly after she finished sorting her work, Akechi's overstayed appearance on the show ended, and Makoto was relieved that she could finally turn it off and focus on her work.

Or, she could load up past installments of Akechi’s appearances on her laptop and play them in the background as she worked on homework. Stopping a murderer was indeed of high priority, but balancing schoolwork while keeping her identity as Queen a secret was arguably more important. His shows and interviews dragged on for so long and most of his talk was all drabble in an attempt to charm his female fans, so Makoto could realistically focus more on her work than that guy’s gimmicks.

Except, looking away from her papers for five minutes turned into five hours. Makoto was unaware of how long she had spent “researching” Akechi’s interviews until Sae walked into the living room. Usually, she doesn’t return until later at night, that is, if she returned home that day at all. If Sae is home, then that means-

“A lot more work than usual today?” Sae asked, curious about Makoto’s still unfinished work.

Makoto glanced at the time. It was well past 11pm, and she had accomplished absolutely nothing that evening. No useful notes on Akechi, no completed homework, nothing. Makoto quickly scrambled to close the numerous amounts of tabs she had accumulated, until nothing but an empty calculator page and online library remained.

“…Yeah. Plenty. You’re home early,” Makoto said, attempting to divert the topic.

Sae let out an exhausted sigh as she was interrupted by yet another phone call. Without another word said to Makoto, she made off for the kitchen, probably more for her own peace than Makoto’s.

Makoto looked down at the blank papers that she only just wrote her name on. They had to be done by the next day, and time had been wasted by getting distracted by Akechi’s interviews. So, she had no choice but to stay up into the wee hours of the night to finish everything.

Makoto was unusually sluggish during the morning walking to her first class. She was stopped by Ren and Ryuji, after they had called her name out numerous times to get her attention.

“You alright, Makoto?” Ren asked, concerned. “You seem out of it today.”

“Just…stayed up a bit too late last night.”

“What happened to that whole organized schedule crap, huh?” Ryuji asked.

“I had a lot more work than usual, that’s all.”

Ren cocked his eyebrow as if he knew exactly what she was up to all evening.

“Don’t tell me, you were watching archives of that guy’s interviews again.”

Makoto’s heart immediately began to race.

“Huah? That guy?” Ryuji asked.

Ren pulled Ryuji in closer and whispered into his ear. Makoto was horrified of the words exchanged during their brief exchange. After they were done, Ryuji looked directly at her with a sly, bastardly look.

“Oooooh, Akechi isn’t it?” he said, mockingly.

“Don’t say anything about him here!” Makoto said, grabbing Ryuji by the shirt. “We don’t want anyone to catch onto us being…and besides, what if they think I’m actually a fan of that guy?”

“Woah, chill out man. The way you’re getting so defensive is almost actually concerning to me.”

By now, Ren was watching the ruckus unfold in front of him, as if he were a silent protag in a JRPG. He took a few steps to the side in an attempt to not become involved, despite being the one who started the accusations. He would like to claim they were a joke simply to get under Makoto’s skin, but Ren wasn’t so sure considering her suspiciously snappy defense.

“He absolutely irks me in every way possible. Sae getting to spend half of her life around that thing doesn’t soothe my annoyance for him at all.”

“Struck a nerve, didn’t I?”

“I’m going to strike you out if you don’t stop! I’m trying to do something for the team here!”

Ren was still observing from a distance, looking at them from the side in an attempt to appear less involved. Ryuji pulled his shirt free from her grasp.

“Yeah yeah, say whatever ya want. If you keep actin’ like this, then it’s only fair for us to have our suspicions, ya know?”

Makoto’s eye twitched at Ryuji’s taunt, but she figured that it would be best if she let it go for the day. The sleep deprivation was getting to her, and she hadn’t even made it to her first class yet. If only she didn’t get sidetracked watching Akechi’s interviews all last evening, which she enjoyed far more than she was even aware of.

He really does know how to engage his audience. Even Makoto fell for his dastardly charms.

For only an evening, hopefully.

Author's Note: when i was editing this chapter my basement caught fire and now im convinced this fic is cursed lmao dont worry im all good now ✌️

[requlemaeternamdeo]

𝗕𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸-𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲,

𝗺𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 !

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗻 𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘂𝗽,

𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁...

Hiya !

My name is Violet . You can also call me Charlotte ! This is my personal blog.

I'm 23 as of 11/19/22, use any pronouns, and am genderfluid. Please use she/her pronouns if we are not particularly close. Please respect that !

I'm VERY new to Tumblr as of making this post . Sorry if this all comes out looking like shit !

My personal favorite games are Hello Charlotte, Final Fantasy 14, Persona (Specifically 3), Genshin Impact, and Fire Emblem. I'm also a fan of the Danganronpa series, gacha games, Pokémon, JRPGs, Monster Hunter, R6S, Roguelikes, Digimon, and SMITE! I enjoy these less than I do the other games.

My personal favorite anime and manga are Chainsaw Man, Mob Psycho 100, 86, Jujutsu Kaisen, Berserk, and Tokyo Ghoul!

I'm a big fan of J-Rock, Vocaloid, Indie Rock, Alt Rock, Rap, and video game OST. My personal favorite artist is Miyashita Yuu!

I smoke a little weed here and there. Not a lot. Just a wee bit.

My personal triggers are child abuse, serious drug use, pedophilia, and incest. Jokes are fine, but serious discussion is very difficult for me to handle.

I may make nsfw jokes or occasionally like just straight up porn.

I write as a hobby! I might try rping on here soon once I get a little more comfy with the site.

art sources! pfp is by the lovely MichelleAllind6 on twitter! the image used in this pinned is by the wonder lxlsuki, once again on Twitter!

thanks so much for popping by!

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 059: The Prophecy of Madame Web (ASM 207-212)

MASTERPOST

This time:

We meet the protagonist of the biggest superhero movie of the last decade.

Also: a lot of Peter Parker thirst.

Let's gooo!

Hey, our little guy changed!

That's nice to see. We also get a promising first page:

So Peter's on a date with Debby Whitman. Debby?

Oh, right. Debra!

So they're at a show where Mesmero hypnotized a member of the audience. Peter investigates nude-feet-style, just like ages ago when he was on a date with Gwen. He ends up putting out a fire, discreetly... or so he thinks. Mesmero noticed his web, and announces to the audience that he thinks SM is here and he has something to discuss with him.

Peter quickly gets rid of his date and talks to Mesmero, who offers him weekly money in exchange for a 15 minutes appearance. Spidey says, "sure!".

Except that Mesmero's reputation is currently awful, and criticism in a newspaper makes him go berserk. That is, he hypnotizes a guy to jump from a bridge.

Meanwhile, Jameson's back at the Bugle! Wouldn't want too many changes in ASM, would we now?

At first, Spidey thinks of catching our guy with his web, but he remembers what happened with Gwen (nice!) and catches him more graciously. Our critic gives free tickets to a show to Spidey as thanks, and Peter soon invites Debra to make amends.

When later, Spidey goes back to Mesmero to talk, he quickly gets zapped with electrified bills... and misses his appointment with Debra. Poor girl. It's not even fun to watch her be disappointed again and again, she's just a chew toy for the universe to step on.

Spidey's forced to do a circus number, but soon KOs out villain.

In the readers' letters, let's just say people are NOT fans of our Miss April Maye. Stern says this might even be a fake name... who could have predicted this, oh my?

#208 has a nice first page, and... Romita Jr worked on the layouts! Alright, mister...

In a research lab, a scientist is a jerk to his janitor twin brother. And when he starts his big machine, it explodes in his face. His selfless brother tries to save him and gets absorbed instead.

At the Daily Globe, Donald Trump arrives.

I'm fascinated by Peter's outfit. I kind of love it... but also kind of hate it. Nice hair, though.

Bushkin also introduces Peter to his new colleague and fellow photographer, Lance Bannon. I expected Eddie Brock, but maybe later.

To get in a better mood, Peter goes to the hospital to pay a visit to Anna Watson with Aunt May. She says they just missed MJ!

Oh, the open belt...! Sir!

The ruckus is of course caused by our new villain, Fusion (the two brothers!), and when she sees the two super-powered beings by the window, May says Spidey isn't as bad as the media say. Character development, yay!

Fusion escapes Spidey's grasp, and it's clear that the two brothers aren't of the same mind concerning their current state. When peter comes back to the hospital room and says he went to talk to a nurse he knows, May says "My Peter's getting interested in girls, Anna". First of all, that's uncalled for, but also, damn May, are you still thinking that your Peter might be gay? (He's bisexual, you're not completely off the mark.)

Thanks to some cops, Spidey quickly finds back Fusion. Twice during this issue does he feel ridiculized by the crowds laughing at him. I feel like it never happened before... Is this element going somewhere? It certainly feels uncharacteristic.

Anyway, he separates the two brothers with the help of the janitor one, and... the issue ends here. They still have their power. That's not an ending. *sigh*

Oh, great shading!!! And Kraven too! By that point, I assume he won't shoot lasers out of his nipples, but a small part of myself still hopes...

We start with Kraven saying to his girlfriend Calypso that THIS TIME, FOR SURE, he'll get rid of our hero... Sure.

Loving the art, even though Peter doesn't necessarily look very much like himself in that third panel, but the clothes!!!! The clothes, people!!!!! Jesus. Is that really a summer outfit though?

Debra's worried about her old uncle working at the docks, and when she asks Peter if with his connections, he could do something to check on him, he rebuffs her. She's understandably saddened, and he ends up going anyway, as Spidey naturally.

Gorgeous middle panels. Also, Kraven's heart skips when he sees Spidey. Not very heterosexual of him. Calypso wants to see her man be a man, so she frees up some animals who cause chaos in the city. Kraven saves the ones he can catch, and Spidey helps too.

And suddenly...

Well well well...

What do we have here...

Didn't expect to see a near naked lady on there but good for her!

Calypso wants violence and tries hard to convince Kraven that Spidey's the one who opened the locks.

I'm loving the eagerness to show skin around here, I'm telling you. Also love how Bushkin looks in the first panel.

Fascinating panels, because Peter looks extremely different in the middle panel, but oh lord is he gorgeous in the other two. And also: a professor having a relationship with a female student? Oh, we almost got that a few issues ago! How interesting.

Spider-Woman has a cameo, where she ponders on how she almost sent Dockery in jail, but since it's Spidey's territory, she can't do anything.

... No but seriously, Peter's gorgeous...

Ahem. Kraven barges in the Daily Globe and activates a Spider-Tracer he conveniently has. Spidey has to show up tonight for a one-on-one battle!

They fight in a museum, while Calypso laughs gleefully in the shadows.

Very subtle there, Spidey. Oh well!

So far I'm really into "the grotesque 80s art". Beats those 90s covers where Spidey's web looks like iron. Anyway, hi Bell! You're going too fast for me but whatever. Someone appreciates the detail and the shading! It's a really strong issue. I also liked Kraven there.

Anyway, issue #210!

It's time to meet the star of 2024's masterpiece "Madame Web".

Well, Debra's definitely gotten used to Peter's repeated abandonments. You deserve better, girl! At least she doesn't seem so sad anymore. More... resigned. I mean, I would probably accept anything if my boyfriend was Peter Parker too... except maybe when he wears that outfit. I'm not sold on that one.

At the Globe, armed people attack the head office and kidnapp Ms. Clayton. Pursuing them, Spidey finds that same paper of Madame Web.

Hey, that page has really nice composition.

Anyway, of course, what welcomes Spidey is... a vision.

Madame Web quickly informs Spidey that to find Ms. Clayton, he'll have to find one Belinda Bell. Turns out Belinda was impersonating Ms. Clayton in a complex plan for Dockery to get the Daily Globe!

Spidey quickly saves both the actress and the real Ms. Clayton, and catches Dockery.

I wish I was that newspaper.

And that ending is absolutely hilarious...

In #211, we see none other than Namor!

And this is a gorgeous first page, I have to say.

So Namor has his typical war against human waste. As for Peter?

Oh. Oh YES. Absolutely. Thank you. It is... glorious. I hereby declare this issue to be a 10 out of 10.

So Spidey goes out and thinks he could finally check on Debra Whitman's uncle. Turns out the latter is getting attacked at this very moment by his crew, who refuse to deliver a scientist and a machine to the ocean.

The next day, at ESU, Debra tells Peter she's worried even more about her uncle, because he decided to navigate the boat himself, since nobody else wants to do it. I'm happy to at least see her be a bit more developed. I'm starting to like her, even!

Gorgeous. I absolutely love his outfit even though I dislike jeans, but it works so well here! The colors...!

He decides to go see May to get in a better mood. There, his aunt is... teaching curling to the residents! Why not. And she nudges Peter to go help Debra's uncle.

Namor appears when they're at sea, and a fight breaks out.

They get over it and Namor even helps them, how nice!

Time for #212!

More than 14 hours have passed since the last issue, and they're naturally still on the boat. Debra's uncle (continued storyline, woohoo!) mentions Murphy's Law, which is funny because I watched Interstellar for the first time like two days ago.

An accident with crates occur, and one man falls under the sea. Spidey saves him, but the man can't seem to dry...

No matter. Peter gets back safely on land and catches Jameson's call. Work for him! Great. He also calls Debbie!

Great set of panel. I like that it seems to give actual weight to their relationship.

We have a scene with our wet guy at a bar and I might have felt sympathy for him for a second, but then he showed his misogynistic side and it was over.

Hydro-Man (presumably, given the cover of the issue) discovered he can become water and morph it, he becomes angry and starts searching through the whole city for Spider-Man. Sure.

MORE IMPORTANTLY.

Oh, that red shirt will be the death of me!

Of course, Peter quickly asks Debra to stay out of this, because of course he does. She accepts it.

There's a fun countdown, we always love countdowns.

Spidey finds Hydro-Man, but he instantly gets "splooshed" through the window. He resorts to ask Jonah to print a challenge in his newspaper, to make the duel easier to organize.

They fight, and we get a very nice ending.

In the comments, our dear Bell Lectar says she sees Peter as this leech that will dry up every resource the ladies in his life have and leave them to die (or miraculously escape unscathed), which is definitely an interesting reading I don't completely disagree with. That's thanks to how the magazine was created, misogyny, and probably some other stuff.

I quickly checked the next issue and there's... assuredly... good food in there.

By the time I make the next post though, and I will, because otherwise I'd hit the pictures limit in this post, and also it's almost 4am and I should definitely go to sleep sometime soon, I'll have forgotten about that, so to Future!Bliss: I love you, I cherish you and I wish you a happy rediscovery.

So the next time, we check out ASM 213, Annual 14 and What If 24!

It should be fun!

[edwardgdunn]

I Woke Up And My Friends Were Gone!

I have a birthday around the corner and I had the following conversation with my wife…

“This is a big birthday coming up, what do you want to do?

“Thank you for asking, my love. I haven’t  thought about it much, to be honest. Really, it’s just another day on the calendar to me.”

“OK, well, do you want to have a party, or go out with friends maybe?”

I thought about that. And it brought into full focus something I had been feeling, sensing in the background, for quite a long while. Something that I think I hadn’t been quite ready to fully consider. Now, here it was, staring me in the face – and it wasn’t going to be so easily swept under the rug this time. It’s as if it was saying…

“OK birthday boy. I’m here. I’ve been here a while now. And this time I’m gonna stay right here until we work through this. OK? OK!”

So that was it then. I was going to have to deal with this less than intrepid interloper that was horning in on my happy week.

Here it is, unvarnished, real, raw…

When you set out on a path toward awakening, your social circle begins to shrink. Not only that, the dynamics of your family relationships undergo a significant re-tooling as well. All of which can be extremely unsettling and outright disorienting.

The first thing to understand here is that this is completely normal and has been the case with every soul who sought to wake up since the first human being set out on the journey. You are not alone in this respect. As a matter of fact, you are in the company of some of the most extraordinary people who have ever walked this earth, so take heart.

As your path begins to take you further and further away from things like ego, consumerism, fundamentalism, gossip, excessive use of intoxicants, small talk – the list is pretty extensive – something begins to shift. Not only how you relate to the people in your life but how they relate to you. For the most part, they are confused and begin to feel like they don’t really know you anymore – and they would be right. It is essentially impossible for them to have any inkling of the transformation that is happening within you. Just as impossible as it would be for  the dreamer to know that the person laying next to them in bed is awake.

As for you, you begin to feel an undercurrent of discomfort in circles where the old paradigms dominate. As your eyes begin to open, everything looks and feels different. For many, it feels like you are hanging around somewhere that you really don’t belong. Your friends, and to a certain extent your family, sense it too. They may become increasingly ill-at-ease around you because, well, you aren’t really you anymore, at least not the “you” they are familiar with.

Nobody, of course wants to acknowledge the obvious, much less outwardly and openly discuss it. So what tends to happen is slowly, gradually, the distances increase, the encounters become fewer, and a birthday approaches when you are asked…

“Do you want to have a party?”

And that’s when you realize that you don’t particularly want to spend a milestone birthday with the same people you would have not all that long ago. BAM – there it is, sitting on your door step. Only this time it won’t leave until you invite it in and offer it some nice refreshments – until you get to know one another a bit.

Human beings are highly social creatures. It is hard wired into our DNA by evolution in an effort to keep us alive, to pass on our genetic material. So when we sense our social circle decreasing in size and scope, something very primal within us begins to panic. Our amygdala goes berserk. Again, completely natural. The fear response will subside – it always does.

Awakening, enlightenment if you will, is a highly destructive path. All manner of habits, relationships, perspectives, rituals, even identities get obliterated in the process. This can be unsettling on some days – downright terrifying on others. This is precisely where so many turn back – back to the perceived safety and comfort of the known. But, the obstacle IS the way. The discomfort is the gateway to the unimaginable love, light and peace that we have always suspected, somewhere deep down, has been there waiting for us all along.

So I will spend this birthday with only a precious few souls – and I’m glad for it.

That’s exactly how I want it

That’s exactly as it should be.

That’s exactly “the way.”

Check out the podcast episode…

Check out the Happiness 2.0 Podcast — https://podcast.edwardgdunn.com/

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[hetakiba]

Guts and Griffith for the character meme

Thank you for asking 😊 Idk that I've ever written any thoughts about these dudes but I'll do my best!

Favorite thing about them:

Guts:

Hmm. His swords pretty neat looking 😂 idk man, I don't necessarily dislike the dude but I'm struggling a bit 🥲 he can be pretty unexpectedly funny, and on occasion kind. I do admire his ability to keep going after all the stuff that's happened in his life, and he has a fair amount of loyalty too.

Griffith:

He is at least mostly always very aware I think of what things he's doing and if they're hurting people or himself, even if he chooses to ignore it or do it anyways. He's also obviously pretty intelligent and it might seem a little counterintuitive but. Honest? Like I know he isn't that much but 😂 idk man there's some amount of earnestness sometimes that kills me. And also I guess his ability to open up to guts and occasionally casca, like it's not really his fault his relationship with guts got off track, mostly

Least favorite thing:

Guts:

His complete lack of self awareness. Like, I get being in denial and also like guilt can keep you from realizing some things but there's an almost like 🤔 complete detatchment from cause and effect for this dude 😂 mostly for like, his relationship with griffith and casca but also in general his attitude towards life and himself. I think he'd benefit a lot from being honest to himself

Griffith:

Hmmmm.... I guess the self destructive tendencies? Like obviously he pays pretty heftly for them but it obviously hurts a lotta people. Beyond that, obviously yeah the eclipse incident was the most condemnable thing he's ever done to me. And also yeah the denial...

Favorite line:

Guts: the part where he thinks he doesn't want to kill griffith the first time he sees him again post eclipse. Or I guess the part where he says he doesn't need a reason to fight for him 🤔

Griffith:

Oh! I just saw a screencap of it the other day, where he's talking about being confronted by your worse fear and either confronting it back or succumbing to it completely. And also there was one part where he was ruminating on his like. Past actions and feeling guilt and I can't remember it exactly but it kinda hit different

Brotp:

Guts: hmm. I read I think a fic where he was besties with uh Judeau? And that was kinda fun 😂 otherwise, I do prefer his relationship with casca being platonic

Griffith: 🤔🤔 I've wondered if he would get along with farnese before, but in canon it's hard! He isn't really too open with lots of people. I would love to see more of him and the not guts casca of his band

Otp:

Eachother, no real other romantic ships for either

Notp:

Hm. I don't super like either of them with casca, or any woman really. Haven't really seen many ships for them though tbh!

Random headcanon:

Guts: hmmm. 🤔🤔 I don't think he's a particularly 'good' or empathetic person but I do think a like. Normal life wouldn't be that hard for him to have, at least like. Pre-eclipse. I feel like he doesn't like animals also

Griffith: probably likes animals 😂 forest ranger modern day?? Would probably be a good sibling 🤔

Unpopular opinion:

Guts: I guess thinking he's gay is pretty unpopular 😂 or that he's in love with griffith. Beyond that 🤔 kinda cringe? 😭

Griffith: hmmmm.... might be more of a headcanon but. Might enjoy having short hair? More of a "better person" than guts? I feel like he feels more guilt for the bad things he does than guts

Song I associate with then:

My notes had rolling in the deep by adele and this is what you came for by rihanna 😭 I have no specifics off the top of my head

Favorite picture:

Hmm for guts there's a lotta really cool ones of him in his full armor that I love and also these 'casual' peaceful ones too (https://hetaliankiba2.tumblr.com/post/647927055097462784/immloveanime-berserk-calendar-1998-illustrated)

For griffith there's a ton of fanart I really love and like any panel where just his eyes are showing or he's looking directly into frame are always super cool

For them both I also always really get affected by the panels where guts helping the post dungeon pre eclipse griffith in or out of his armor always just. Breaks me... (https://hetaliankiba2.tumblr.com/post/643035827640975361)

Thank you so much again, I saw you had like the same ask but feel free to let me know what you think about my answers as well 😀

[bthump]

How does Guts and Griffith demonstrate queer coding?

The difficulty for me in applying the term queer coding to Berserk, rather than eg homoeroticism or gay subtext, is that to discuss coding thoroughly requires more cultural context than I have, since coding is inherently reliant on cultural context to be understood. But I can offer a few ideas.

So, I've seen a case made that Black Swordsman era Guts evokes a certain 80s-era Japanese gay male aesthetic (short spiky hair, I think the outfit a bit, and some body language) but I don't know nearly enough about that particular cultural niche to make that case myself. I also don't have a link handy to where I've seen this discussed with comparison pics (I think a tumblr post back in the day, but even that I'm iffy on lol), sorry about that.

Arguably Griffith's androgyny counts as coding here. I don't think bishounen in general are queer coded, since, as far as I'm aware, they're generally intended to be seen as handsome and largely masculine, but Griffith being canonically so pretty people aren't always sure he's a man is separate from that, and certainly contributes to the homoeroticism. Add in some of Miura's comments about how androgynous characters should have both male and female love interests, and BL's longstanding history of androgynous pretty boys, and it's probably enough to call it queer coding.

Again, I'm differentiating coding from homoeroticism in general or gay/romantic subtext - this is about how Guts and Griffith individually, regardless of their relationship or how the narrative frames them and the events of their lives, evoke gay vibes through their surface depiction.

If you want the homoeroticism/romance subtext I have essays and essays worth of examples. But yeah, when it comes to coding I just don't have the necessary context to have more than a few vague thoughts.

Thanks for the ask!

[demonslayedher]

How Does Eating Humans Work?

Hello, Gotou here. We’re shamelessly borrowing from the format of a KnY Fanbook #2 comic to launch an investigation into demon metabolism and development by crossing the Sanzu River again to interview demons in the underworld. While we’ll be using canon materials as a base, the analysis and conjecture herein is personal, so we ask for your understanding. Also, please note that consuming any food in the underworld will make you unable to return, and we cannot promise your safety even though the interview subjects are dead, so please come along at your own risk.

Some of the questions we’d like to answer are, why do demons need to eat humans? How much do they need to eat to survive? Are there factors that influence how eating humans makes them stronger? If they don’t want to kill humans, what are their other options? We’ve rounded up some special guests below the cut (hidden for length and grossness), everyone from the lowly Temple Demon to the lovely Tamayo, to see what their actions in canon might tell us.

First, a review of what canon tells us, mostly as summarized in Fanbook #2: 1. With one exception named Yushirou, all demons were created by Kibutsuji Muzan, for his own purposes. They all have some amount of his blood, and can be divided into four classes depending on how powerful they are. From top to bottom, the Upper Moons, the Lower Moons, demons with special abilities, and other demons without any special characteristics. 2. Demons may be stronger depending on how much of Kibutsuji Muzan’s blood they have. Most beings’ cannot handle a large amount of his blood, and it will rupture the cells and that being will die, but there are demons who adapt well to it. 3. Typically, sunlight is the only way to kill a demon, by either bathing them in sunlight or cutting of their head with a Nichirin blade. However, there are powerful demons for whom chopping off their head does not work, and if it’s strong enough, demons can also be killed by wisteria poison.

4. Demons eat human blood and flesh. The more they eat, the stronger they become, and the faster their regenerative abilities become. Some humans have “Marechi,” a rare blood type, which is especially nutritious to demons, and eating one Marechi is the equivalent of eating several humans.

That’s an interesting thing we’d like to come back to, especially since we’re looking for quantitative information about how demons gain nutrition (though I have my doubts we'll get enough for statistical analysis). As an interesting note, Fanbook #2 also tells us that if demons try to consume the same edibles humans do, they’ll vomit it back up.

I’m told that Miss Tamayo drinks tea, though. That’ll be an interesting question for later. In my notes, it seems she’s also explained to Tanjirou back in Chapter 15 that demons will normally go berserk if they go a long time without consuming any blood or flesh. Berserk is one thing, but I wonder if they can starve to death? We’ll see if these canon clues will lead us to anything. We’ll begin now in an interview format. Hopefully this will go smoothly, but I’ve got a feeling it won’t. First up, we’ve the Temple Demon.

Temple: Who were you calling ‘lowly’ just now? Up there, above the cut?

Gotou: That was in a literal sense, not having Blood Techniques means you’re in the bottom common tier of demons.

Temple: Argh. Fine. What do you want to know?

Gotou: In Chapter 2, you were spotted with three human victims. However, it seems you left their bodies mostly intact and only ate small parts instead of consuming one full human at a time. Could you comment on this?

Temple: I’d have gotten to more later if that whelp with the strong legs didn’t interrupt me! Who’s got time to eat entire humans anyway? I went for the easy stuff first.

Gotou: I see. It appears you might had focused on key organs, like the heart and the liver. Would you say these are especially nutritionally dense?

Temple: I guess. If I’m going to eat humans, I’m going to start with what’s worth bothering to digest. Blood’s easier on the stomach, so that’s what I was busy with on the lady there.

Gotou: Then it takes effort to digest? Hmm. Let’s come back to this later. How many humans would you say you consumed, including these three?

Temple: Not a lot… I tried to get a variety so I could get stronger faster, but…

Gotou: I’ll put down a guess as ten or less. Let’s move on to someone who has a sharper memory for numbers. One of our longer-lived guests at Mt. Fujikasane for 47 years, the Hand Demon. While most of the demons on the mountain had only eaten two or three humans, you’ve eaten a whole 50 of the children who headed into the Final Selection, didn’t you?

Hand: Yes, that’s right. It was hard at first since I wasn’t very strong, and the demons usually all went crazy there eating each other, just like that one brat who got away in Chapter 7 said. If you could manage to kill any of the kids, you had the other demons to fight off to even get a piece to yourself. That was enough to get me by, and stronger, little by little. Your body learns to make your meals last, and make the most of what you can get. I usually only had a bite of one child a year, can you imagine how horrible that was? Most demons who survive usually figure out some way to develop and survive better, and once my cells found something that worked for me, I kept doing it. I got really good at snatching away prey from other demons, and soon enough I was a bigger threat than any of them. None of them could, you might say, lay a hand on me.

Gotou: That’s an interesting point about self-development. A demon named Nezuko was spent two years doing that in her sleep.

Hand: She must have had a big meal before that!

Gotou: Well, anyway. It seems that in near starving conditions, your metabolism made the most of what you had, leading to the most efficient use of whatever food was available to you.

Hand: That’s right, I got really good at it. Wasn’t always pretty, but I made it work. I got to a point where I could go two years without eating and still keep my wits about me while the other demons were going mad. But I chose to eat. I liked to keep my appetite for specific children.

Gotou: That smile is not reassuring. Some humans taste better than others, I guess?

Hand: That’s for sure. This one kid tasted awful, like rust and man sweat! I still don’t have that disgusting taste out of my mouth! But he was one of my more satisfying meals, so I ate more of him.

Gotou: Then why would you… nevermind, I don’t like that smile, no further questions. While I had hoped to keep these interviews focused on quantities of humans consumed, it does seem personal taste is worth asking about. I had tried to invite a Swamp Demon from Chapter 11, but it kept arguing with itself and it felt like I’d be wasting my time. The one definite thing I learned was that this demon is picky, with a distinct preference for 16-year-old girls. Based on the number of trinkets he kept, it seems he had consumed at least seventeen of them, including several in one town. Sheesh, that’s sort of a rough mission to send a first-timer on. I’ve got a more cooperative guest here to discuss her tastes, a Snake Demon who, according to Chapter 188, has a special taste for baby flesh.

Snake: Thank you for having me here. It’s good to be appreciated again.

Gotou: Did you only eat babies?

Snake: Goodness, no. Babies are delicious, but they aren’t very nutritious. And their skulls certainly aren’t that big, the ones I lounged around with were from the people whom I killed and stole from. But you know the nice thing about baby skulls? They’re still soft. They take a long time to digest, but I can swallow them whole.

Gotou: Like… like a snake, then. Sorry, I’m a little ill hearing that. Let’s back up, were all those skulls the remains of adults you ate, then?

Snake: Meh, I ate some of them of better-looking ones, but most of them I only killed. I could usually kill a lot more at a time than I could bother eating, my killing record was fifty women all at once.

Gotou: And you didn’t find that wasteful?

Snake: Wasteful? Not at all. I wasn’t exactly in dire straits, I lived a more luxurious life than most demons do. That meant I could afford to wait for a truly delicious meal, like how you humans might leave something in a slow-cooker to enjoy the perfect combination of doneness and tenderness, plated in the most appetizing of ways.

Gotou: I guess demons and humans are similar in that regard.

Snake: I’m so glad you can relate! Then you understand the frustration of a meal you’ve be preparing for years opening up the slow-cooker and running away right when they were just about done.

Gotou: I have never had that experience.

Snake: I’ll get you, my pretty. And your little snake, too.

Gotou: I think we might have gotten a little off-topic here. It does seem digesting humans comes with some difficulty. I’d like to invite the Drum Demon in next. Your name is Kyougai, I hear?

Kyougai: !!

Gotou: Kyogai, right?

Kyougai: You’ve heard of me! You know my name!

Gotou: I happened to, yes.

Kyougai: What have you heard???

Gotou: That you were kicked out of the Lower Moons for being unable to consume enough humans.

Kyougai: Oh. ……..yeah, that’s me.

Gotou: I thought demons go berserk if they go a long time without consuming humans. Wouldn’t that make an inability to consume them problematic?

Kyougai: It wasn’t that I couldn’t eat them! Like I said in Chapter 24, I had to in order to sustain myself, just like any other demon. But, at some point, I couldn’t eat as much as I used to. That happens to humans too, doesn’t it? When you just can’t stomach anymore?

Gotou: You mean like when you’ve overeaten? In a human’s case that feeling may go away within a few hours.

Kyougai: Sort of like that, but you know, humans reach a time when nothing is appetizing or the thought of eating makes them feel sick, right? Isn’t that the human condition?

Gotou: …uh… maybe if they have a medical condition? Or anxiety? Do demons get anxiety? Or eating disorders?

Kyougai: I… I don’t know. I just wasn’t good enough.

Gotou: I think it’s plenty good if you stopped eating humans. Though to have developed Blood Techniques and been a Lower Moon in the first place, you must had eaten a great number of them.

Kyougai: You think I’m great?

Gotou: What?

Kyougai: No, sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. It’s true, I used to be able to eat as many as the other Lower Moons always consumed. Our stomachs were stronger, you might say. Demons got strong by eating humans, and then the more you did that the better you usually got at it, so the strong ones would eat more and more and keep getting stronger and stronger. At least, that’s how it usually worked. I’ve seen other demons below me reached that point too, where they feel the drive to eat, but then they have trouble digesting it for a long time, so they don’t wind up eating that many people.

Gotou: Then it would make sense to eat the most nutritionally dense parts first.

Kyougai: Or a Marechi.

Gotou: Yes, or a Marechi.

Kyougai: It was a great idea, wasn’t it?

Gotou: I cannot condone any consumption of humans as a good idea.

Kyougai: I knew it. I’m nothing. Go ahead, stomp all over everything I ever tried to accomplish.

Gotou: I think I’m going to move on to my next interviewee now. It looks like we’ve got… oh, would you look at this? Lower Moon One. Enmu, I believe.

Enmu: You can believe whatever you want. I’m happy to help.

Gotou: I don’t need any help, thanks. I’m curious, since you were one of the stronger demons out there, it seems you had a stronger capacity for consuming humans.

Enmu: I did, I was always careful and paced myself so the Demon Slayers wouldn’t notice me. I took my time. I liked to enjoy e-e-e-a-c-h one.

Gotou: Then you had tastes too? Like babies, or 16-year-old girls?

Enmu: I could season any human to my liking. They’re all very easy to prepare.

Gotou: I’m still trying to get quantitative data. Can you tell me at least a rough estimate of how many humans you consumed?

Enmu: I told this more precisely to that boy with the earrings back in Chapter 59, and I can tell you this too. At my best, I could had eaten over two-hundred people at once if I took my time.

Gotou: OH MY GAW----sorry, I dropped my pen. Two hundred, at once?

Enmu: Yes. If I had just. Had. A little. More. Time.

Gotou: Clearly there is a huge difference between what common demons are capable of and what the Twelve Moons are capable of.

Daki: Psh, those were all any random common people. That’s nothing to brag about.

Gotou: Excuse me, and you are?

Daki: Daki, Upper Moon Six. You want something really impressive, you talk to the Upper Moons.

Gotou: I’m sorry, I don’t see you on my list.

Daki: What! Your list is stupid. Look me in the eyes, I’m Upper Moon Six!

Gotou: Very well, then. What can you tell me about your diet, Miss Upper Moon Six?

Daki: That’s more like it. It’s true that digestion takes a while, and takes some effort. Even though we Upper Moons may have eaten hundreds of people in our lifetimes, it’s not as if we gorge ourselves. The clever ones among us save prey for later to eat when we feel ready for it.

Gotou: Food storage? How do you keep them fresh?

Daki: You leave them still alive, numbskull. Nobody wants to eat something cold, that’s gross.

Gotou: I see, so that’s why demons prefer to go after new kills instead of saving what they’ve already managed to kill. That also might explain why the demons on Mt. Fujikasane wouldn’t had eaten many humans, if they found long dead ones in edible.

Daki: You want to know the real secret to eating humans? You can eat what you find tastes good, sure. But to get stronger, you eat strong people. Like your Corp members, the ones besides chumps like you? Using all that Breath makes their muscles really lean and potent, it’s like they come offering themselves as protein bars for us.

Gotou: You make them sound like a fad diet…

Daki: The real secret is eating Pillars. Besides Marechi, they’re the strongest meals out there. Guess how many I’ve eaten?

Gotou: I don’t have the data to make an educated guess.

Daki: Then get educated! Look back at Chapter 88! I’ve eaten seven Pillars, and my brother has eaten fifteen!

Gotou: Your brother? Who is he, then, Upper Moon Five?

Daki: What? Ew. Gross. Gross! No way, ew!

Gotou: Hmm… eating Pillars, huh? Well, I can think of one Pillar who was…

Douma: Me too!

Gotou: Speak of the devil.

Douma: Actually, we Upper Moons can! And he's not Satan, that's not how this works. But I guess Muzan-sama’s curse doesn’t effect us now. Ask me anything you want!

Gotou: That Chapter 143 reference was such a rude entrance. I understand that Pillars are particularly nutritious—

Douma: Oh, please don’t misunderstand! I don’t even eat all the Pillars I’ve encountered. There was the one Flower Pillar who got away from me, but some of the boy pillars I just leave around. What’s really the key to consistent nutritional intake is women! It’s really unhealthy for a demon not to get enough women in their diet, that’s why even if you’re only looking for Marechi or Pillars, your metabolism is going to get thrown out of whack with sudden big meals. You grow a stronger metabolism with consistency, I believe!

Gotou: If I could stop you there, I had an image from Chapter 142 I preferred to focus on for this case study. I see you keep a wide collection of skulls, from victims whom I assume you ate.

Douma: Yes, they all stayed together inside me for eternity, but the room looked lonely without décor.

Gotou: It seems other demons usually go for nutritionally dense organs like hearts or livers, or easy to digest parts of the body, perhaps just blood sometimes. Eating the entire victim, bones and all, doesn’t seem to be the norm.

Douma: Bones are organs too, you know! That’s where blood is made, at its freshest. They do take more practice in learning to digest, and I had to find a way around not having to chew them, but the bone marrow is very, very good for you, so I make sure to consume it frequently. It may take more time and it causes some of my followers to panic more while they wait, though, that’s a bit of a downside. Oh, and I guess bones can make good storage for some sneaky poison. Even fingernails and hair follicles, who’d have thought?

Gotou: I don’t think hair would have much nutritional value in the first place. In all my years, I can never recall seeing a victim with their hair eaten.

Douma: Tsk, tsk! Clearly you haven’t done much metabolism research in advance. I was really impressed by how well Shinobu-chan understood how my digestion would work. Eating hair can do amazing things! Isn’t that right, Genya-kun?

Genya: ?????????

Gotou: Genya-kun!?

Genya: What am I doing here?

Gotou: I don’t think you’re supposed to be here. Isn’t there, you know, another side? The other direction?

Genya: What are you doing here? Did you die?

Gotou: I’m here doing research on demon metabolism and how they get stronger by consuming flesh.

Douma: What can you tell us about what up with having your friend feed you hair you found on the floor in Chapters 170-171, Genya-kun?

Genya: I’m not a demon!! Why the hell are you asking me?

Douma: ‘Hell’! Haha, good one!

Gotou: How do you even know about that? You were dead almost a full volume before that. And Genya’s different, he’s not a case study in how demons consuming humans works!

Douma: Are you certain?

Gotou: I hear the term get thrown around a lot that he’s ‘half-demon’, but—

Genya: I’m not a demon!!!

Gotou: --how would that even work? That would imply that one of his parents had to be a demon, and that—

Genya: What did you say about my mother!?!

Gotou: What? Nothing—

Genya: You say that to my face! You just trying saying something about my mother to my face! My mother never actually ate any flesh, you got that? She doesn’t deserve any of this!

Gotou: Genya, calm down, what—

Douma: I see we’re learning nothing about hair at all. Maybe Kokushibou-dono would provide better commentary on that?

Genya: Mom? Mo-o-o-o-m? Are you down here somewhere?

Gotou: And there he goes… wait, did you say Kokushibou? Upper Moon One? Oh no—he—he didn’t want me bothering him, he did not agree to another interview—

Douma: He-e-e-e-e-y, Kokushibou-dono! How did that work with Genya-kun eating your hair? Hair can be nutritious, right?

Kokushibou: You would gain… nothing… from consuming human hair… it’s not… flesh… you wasted your energy digesting it…

Douma: Aww, cutting it off them would had been sad, though.

Kokushibou: Demon hair… like demon weapons… is made… from our unique cells. It’s not dead… like human locks. Because that boy ate my live cells… it affected him…

Gotou: Yes, because he had a very, very unique metabolism, analyzed separately in this post. To be perfectly clear, Genya is completely human with cells that could temporarily transform, and he never consumed human flesh.

Kokushibou: He… vexes me…

Gotou: Um… while I’ve got you here, you’re one of the longest lived demons, clocking in at over three, maybe four centuries. Do you have any estimate of how many humans you’ve consumed?

Kokushibou: ……I see in… Chapter 100… that you are 23 years old?

Gotou: That is correct.

Kokushibou: Do you bother… remembering how many meals… you’ve had in a mere 23 years?

Gotou: I’m very sorry to have bothered you.

Douma: Kokushibou-dono’s ancient compared to the rest of us! But if I tried, I could probably recall. Let’s see. One, two, three, four…

Gotou: Is that? Your finger in your brain? Oh—ohhh—that is disgusting---I really don’t need to know numbers that badly, please stop. Is there maybe just some average you can give me for the Upper Moons instead? Like how many you’d eat in a month?

Douma: I wish I could, but a certain someone was an annoying outlier and didn’t like to eat so many humans. He made me worry all the time about his health.

Gotou: Really? Who might that be?

Douma: Hello-o-o-o-o-? Akaza-dono? Yoohoo! He spends all his time with his wife now and never answers when I call, it makes me so sad. Akaza-dono did eat humans, plenty of strong ones, but any time he wasn’t under orders from Muzan he liked to spend his time training instead of eating. Fanbook #1 says he did that way more than eating!

Gotou: Training? What sort of training?

Douma: Similar things to what your Corp members did, I imagine. Doing squats, throwing punches, things like that.

Gotou: Then demon muscles had similar function to human muscles, and could be strengthened through hard work? That’s surprising.

Douma: I know, right? I’ll let you in on a secret, I don’t think it was the physically repetition that did anything. I think it was his willpower getting honed and shaping his muscles.

Douma: I had to focus when I acquired new skills too, like breaking down poisons. A lot of sad, lowly demons, like that Hand Demon fellow? They focus as hard as they can in their desperation, or focus on some strong emotion or attachment or whatever, and they grow and develop because of it. Sometimes all their weak bodies can manage is an ugly mutation, but that’s proof enough of how much focus they had.

Gotou: That sheds a lot of light on Nezuko, actually.

Douma: Shed “light” on Nezuko-chan, hahaha! Sunlight! You humans are all so witty!

Gotou: Speaking of willpower, I’ve got one more interview I need to get to down here. Of all the demons I have records of, only Nezuko went her whole time as a demon without consuming any human flesh, although she did go through moments of berserk cravings for it. It’s possible that other demons were killed before they could consume anything, but typically they will consume flesh as soon as possible, which is why its common for their family and close relations to be among the first ones killed. Tomioka-san even mentioned in Chapter 1 that these close relations are especially nutritious.

Gotou: A demon about as old as Kokushibou, if not older, is a special case of her own. She was one of the only demons we know of to have escaped Kibutsuji’s curse and acted in dependently of him, including having created a demon of her own after two hundred years of trying. Most notably to our purposes, she trained herself to subsist on small amounts of blood, after having survived on corpses and wild animals for a time, according to the extensive Taisho Secrets at the end of Volume 21.

Tamayo: I explained this in more detail to Tanjirou-san in Chapter 15, but I went on to purchase blood from poor people, and extracted it in ways that wouldn’t be harmful to them. The one demon I created, Yushirou, could subsist on even less. I gained enough self-control that I could treat injured humans without feeling tempted into a berserk state.

Gotou: I was just talking to Douma about willpower making demons capable of accomplishing new physical developments. Was that how you were able to gain this state? I heard you even enjoy a cup of tea now and then.

Tamayo: Yes, I’ve taken a liking to it. I’d offer you some if not for this, you know, being hell. It’s nothing like the hell I went through when first resisting consuming humans, though. My demon body refused to take anything but fresh human flesh at first, but in the hardest moments, I always remembered a kind demon hunter who said he believed in me and my desire to defeat Kibutsuji Muzan. I believe Nezuko may have summoned her strength to resist the call of her demon cells in a similar way; she knew she had her brother there to rely on. Once she mastered something as remarkable as resisting the need for human flesh, it gave her the freedom to prioritize other developments.

Gotou: You spent centuries researching demon cells, especially how demons may break down and metabolize poisons.

Tamayo: I had not studied the metabolism of poisons until working with Shinobu-san. The medicine we concocted for Kibutsuji was only possible thanks to her work, and I couldn’t had worked with many of those wisteria-based substances on my own. I feel I was only there to fill in the gaps of her brilliant understanding.

Gotou: You’re very humble. I would pass along my thanks and compliments to Shinobu-sama too, but I’m pretty sure she’s not down here. On that note, did Genya-kun go back home?

Tamayo: He did after a nice reunion with his mother just now, it was very sweet. Shizu-san and I get along well, after all, we both carry similar guilt.

Gotou: Wait, was his mother a demon? That means Wind-sama’s mother was too? Wait?? What??

Tamayo: The worst hell I went through, or that any demon has gone through, is to realize what you’ve eaten after the hunger-driven madness clears. Being similar to your own cells, they’re easy on a volatile new anatomy to break down and digest. That’s why many demons may have driven themselves to forget everything all over again, or to twist their personalities to justify the horror, saying that because they ate the hearts of their loved ones and because demon flesh can live forever, then they never truly killed them. The truth always remained untwisted for me, and to this day, it torments me more than anything in this underworld can try.

Gotou: …

Tamayo: You should wake up now, Gotou. You’ve been through a lot; the nightmares must be taxing on your health. Please remember to eat well.

[seimeinotaka]

Rêverie (An OberonXGudako fic)

MASSIVE LOSTBELT 6 SPOILERS INCLUDING OBERON'S PROFILE AND BOND CE

Summary: Oberon has been unexpectedly summoned to Chaldea. He wonders why he is even there as he reminisces what happened in Avalon Le Fae. But it seems Ritsuka isn't leaving him alone, much to his annoyance.

Thanks to jellyfishy for beta-reading this!

Once again, the story has major spoilers for LB6, Oberon's profile and Bond CE, as well as important plot points of Solomon, LB1 and LB5.

There's implied one-sided love, mentions of heavy topics such as loss, and mentions of deceased characters.

"Master, Master, you've gotten better at this!"

"Thank you, Gogh! I've been practicing a lot using the tips you and Oui gave me. Even Jeanne Alter praised my background, hehe!"

"Hey, I said it was passable. Pas-sa-ble!"

Ritsuka Fujimaru has been drawing something in the cafeteria, surrounded by many servants that come and go. No one asks what she is doing, they all seem to know or if they don’t, they don’t bother to ask.

It is so bothersome. Annoying.

So many people surrounding her, like an ultraviolet lamp that attracts all the bugs. Never mind that they end up getting zapped the moment they ever dare to touch it.

The people, the sound, the merriment, it all annoys Oberon, who only watches in silence as he eats some ice cream with melon.

To be able to smile like that, even after discarding all of those stories...Oberon doesn't hide a crooked smile. In the end, the lostbelts are no more than faint dreams doomed to end, forgotten by the winners, the panhuman history citizens. Ritsuka Fujimaru isn't different. For her, it's like reading the doujin the swimsuit berserker is making. Once the pages are closed, the story ends and it ceases to exist. She can choose to forget.

Truly detestable.

-

Oberon stares and then walks away, just as Ritsuka lifts her face. She looks around, the feeling of being watched faintly breaking her concentration.

But in the end he doesn't say a word as he leaves.

-

“Hey, you keep looking at Master!” Jeanne Alter slams her hands on the table where Oberon is sitting. Said Master is working again, too enthralled talking with Gogh to notice Jeanne Alter slipping away to talk to him.

“Does it bother if I do?” He gives her a crooked smile as she huffs and scowls. Though of course her face turns slightly pink.

“Tch, of course not! It's just your stare is getting on my nerves! Wouldn't you get distracted if someone is looking at you intensely?”

“I am a creation, not a creator. I wouldn't understand what you're saying. Besides, I wasn’t looking at her or you anyway,” he says mockingly.

“Hmph, whatever you say. Leave when Master is drawing, what she is doing is very important and I won't let you make it messy.”

“Hah, a page of your little comic? As if you need a lot of care. But fret not, I am certain that with your keen insight and guidance it will be something so memorable, up to the level of the famous writers here in Chaldea.”

“You bug...Bring it, I will burn you to a crisp! Moths do like fire, don't they? Surely you will feel at home then!” Jeanne Alter laughs. “I'll let you know that it is something so impressive that it would make you cry, if you're capable of that anyway.”

Though her Saint Graph right now is one of a Berserker, it seems the insight of the Avenger still exists deep within. After all, only those who are similar can recognize each other. Fake recognizes fake. Emptiness recognizes emptiness. Hate can only recognize hate.

Though come to think about it, Ritsuka has always been writing, he noticed she kept a small book on her, during quiet times. Perhaps a diary of sorts. It wouldn’t be surprising, to record everything she has experienced, as the writer of the winning history.

-

When we die, we'll become like those stories. Our lives are stories that might be discussed and forgotten, so it's not that different from your midsummer night dream.

A dream you forget once you wake up from your slumber.

“You're a tsundere,” Ritsuka says flatly as she rests her chin on her hand. She even dares to give Oberon a shrug and a smile, as if she can tell the truth between the lies.

“Ah, you're annoying.”

“That's exactly what I'm talking about, hehe!”

An obnoxious smile continues to be on her face, and he simply looks at her with unveiled disgust and apathy.

“Why am I even here?”

“Well, you answered the call, so you can only blame yourself for that.”

“What.”

“The rayshift system call can be refused. That's an inescapable truth. You lie a lot but there are some truths in your words. Or actions in this case. You wanted to be in Chaldea, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Ah there it is, your virtuous nature shining through. One day you'll be fooled by someone who is pretending to be your ally...ah, my bad, that has already happened, isn't that right? Maybe you should learn your lesson.”

“Ah, yes. But it doesn't change that you are here. And because you lie often, that means I can just take it whatever way I like. You'll just deny it even if I'm right. But you can't deny we get along pretty well!”

“We do not!”

“See, that's a lie!”

“Ah, I'm going to the cafeteria! Don't follow me!”

Yet we thrive on dreams, don’t we?

“How long do you think I've been in this business? Have you interacted already with some of the servants here? I can tell you don’t mind my company.”

“I quit, I'll break the contract!”

“So, one cube or two?” Ritsuka dares to offer him the sugar cube container, even holding some tongs, just to put the amount he requests in his cup.

“You really want a poisoned tea, right, wonderful Master?~”

Even if they are something that doesn’t exist, we yearn for them, even to make them a reality. No matter how impossible. No matter how painful.

That is why we can never get rid of them.

Even if we forget once the veil of dawn has ended, something of it remains.

-

“There's so much that is subjective. For example, you were Artoria's Merlin, weren't you? For a moment you were Merlin, that was her truth. There's different Merlins, I mean we have different Artorias here from different eras and classes. You were a different Merlin than the one I know.”

Ritsuka is busy trying different colors. Oui and Gogh got into a discussion on how to best get the tones she was aiming for, and they even went to do some research on their own. The reds of a forest seem familiar yet not quite right, not that Oberon was looking at the notebook.

It has to have a dreamlike feeling, that’s what she wanted, but that’s not easy to pour into a painting.

“What we see as a lie or as truth, it changes with our perception. Your lies and my truths might be different, but it's ok. In the end we have only one perspective. That's why lies and truths can mix, that's why contradictions exist. I mean, that is why you are here.”

“Here's some advice from the bottom of my heart, don't quit your day job, Master. Stick to the world saving and leave the philosophical dissertation to virtually anyone else.”

In the end, does the truth really matter?

Something that can change when you close your eyes. Something that is as fleeting as a moth's life.

Would anything change in the grand scheme of things?

To protect Ritsuka, Chaldea forged a story, one where Romani Archaman was at fault for everything that happened.

To the world that is on the verge of disappearing, that became the truth.

To everyone in Chaldea, the truth is that this girl worked harder than anyone to protect this world.

That was what Sherlock Holmes said once they met. Oberon didn’t like him, but in a way he seems familiar. Holmes is a great detective, but since he keeps everything to himself, he might be wrong the entire time until the last minute.

So it’s not like Oberon can take him that seriously.

Even so, he told him the story of the great journey before Panhuman History was at risk by the Alien God. A story of which he was somehow aware, but it seems different when it is told by someone else.

To Oberon, it was a story of selfish survival. A fitting story of those who fight in the mud to continue existing.

To Holmes, it was a story of humanity bravely fighting to avoid destruction. An unlikely event that might have inspired others. Or rather, that is how the Leonardo Da Vinci from that time would have framed it, since Holmes isn’t an author and the current Da Vinci is someone different now.

The events are there, what changes is our perception of them. Perhaps this is where truths and lies take root, the lie of today becomes the truth of tomorrow.

The lie allows the fake existence to continue even when the dream has already ended.

But in the end, everything will fade, so nothing really matters.

-

"Well, I don't know if it has a meaning, but doesn't that mean you can give it your own? Just like how I can take your lies the way I want."

"Aren't you a simplistic one? No, perhaps it is that kind of thinking that has let you get this far. What a naive Master Chaldea has. Though it helps you accomplish your goals. "

He is not sure why they are taking tea while chatting, but here he is. Perhaps it is to hide his annoyance, the Master won’t stop until she gets what she wants anyway, so he is just avoiding a pointless squabble.

"You can think whatever you want~ and in any case, even if the feelings of today will be nothing in the future, that doesn't mean they are worthless. Because they affect the you of today and that is the moment when you are alive.”

The joy of living, that is something Oberon can’t understand nor tolerate. It angers him.

Of course, he is an entity of the abyss so how could he comprehend that?

The will of self-destruction, the cessation of existence. That something is so fundamentally wrong that it must wiped out, for there is no way to fix something that crooked.

Faerie Britain wished for him because it had to be wiped away from all records, because it had no way of being salvaged.

Therefore, he can only listen to those words.

(Perhaps it is the envy of not having something? Perhaps it is the bitterness of no longer having something to do, to dream for? Or simple ennui that no matter what, in the end it doesn’t matter?)

Ritsuka ignores his silence, as she continues.

“I don't know but for someone who likes stories you don't seem like you're actually enjoying them.”

“Would you enjoy a story where you fade away like everyone in the lostbelts you have erased? Ah, my bad. Surely, as the winner you can afford to disregard those stories. Silly me, of course you would be able to believe that as the victor you can claim to be the true history. Panhuman history is in the end mankind's right path, after all, and everything else can fade into the abyss.”

Her smile is complex, almost a facade. From one angle it looks like a forlorn frown, from the other a faint smile. She plays with the spoon on her table.

"Hmmm, I wonder..."

 Dr. Roman, we finally beat the British Lostbelt. It was unlike any other places we were, and I keep thinking of Percival's words...

   I wish you were still here.

The sacrifice of someone can mean the whole world for a single person. The sacrifices of millions can become a mere statistic, a simple cold number to show how bad an event was. In the end, it doesn't matter.

What was once lost will never come back.

The void left in one's soul will never heal, it only becomes more bearable with time.

But even so, that lingering pain is the proof that someone was alive, that they left a mark on the others they met as one looks at the twinkling stars and reminisces of the never-happening-again past.

“Did you know the true opposite of love isn't hate but indifference?”

“Haaah? Perhaps you didn't think so but I was being honest about my suggestion. Thinking too much will only hurt your head. You should only focus on what's in front of you.”

“Whether you love or hate, you end up putting a lot of attention to the object of your affections, but if you're indifferent to it, it ceases to exist. Perhaps your hatred of everything is because there's something you cannot afford to lose.”

Titania was the wife of Oberon in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. She was the only one who could accept the king's eccentric personality.

But in reality, she was just a creation for the story, a being who was never real.

Of course, there isn't a person like that in the world.

Someone who accepts a hollow entity like me.

“I don’t know, if Arjuna Alter was able to come to terms with his own humanity, well...nevermind. I was just thinking aloud.”

(Ideals are just that.

A concept not belonging to this world.

It is when you reconcile with the flawed reality that you can grasp your happiness, the one you have.)

“Heh-Hahahaha, that's rich, Master!”

This is so sickening.

Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) such an unpleasant existence. Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) a being born of hate, a destructive force whose only purpose is to rend everything to ashes.

But the fact is, Titania doesn't exist. This means no one could accept someone like him.

That is the unpleasant truth.

That is why people are entranced(poisoned) by falsehoods, lies to sweeten the body and protect the soul. It's a sweet elixir to hide from the harsh reality, the ultimate end of the journey of everyone, a pointless, worthless life. Because at the end of the dream, no matter what one has accomplished, it doesn't change the finale of this story and it is doomed to be forgotten. 

Just as the one princess from before, who also fell in love with the Fairy King. The one who tried to give fire to his cold body. But he didn't notice this, not even when her snow body had ceased to move, a protection of love.

So in the end, if it's not acknowledged, it is the same as it never had happened.

“Tell me, does it matter to you? Are you going to tell me you know how I feel? That you understand what I'm going through? Come on, tell me your important story, that everything is going to be alright as long as I'm not alone-”

“I can't. I don't know how you feel. Even if we had suffered the same, I wouldn't know how you feel.”

Her words or her smile, the same as before. He doesn’t know which but it cuts him short.

“All I know is the pain of losing someone important to me, but that's not what you're feeling, right?”

The Titania I wish for doesn't exist in this world. The Faerie Britain that gave birth to me no longer exists, even if I have accomplished my goal. 

I am merely a dream whose purpose has been fulfilled and thus, the curtain shall be down as I exit the stage.

The things I yearn for are merely dreams. Even so, I hope, because I saw it existed for someone else. For another Oberon, not the one I am.

The illusion of happiness, the hope of a love.

I don't know how it is to not be Oberon, the lying king. The king without any other purpose. The villain that has exited the stage having won, but now even that victory is pointless.

Then, why am I still here? 

“For what it's worth, I like you. You're nice company, lies and all.”

“You’re an odd one.”

“I've been told that often.”

“It's not a compliment, you have no taste.”

“You know, for Panhuman history I am the hero, ensuring our world survives. But to everyone else from every lostbelt erased...I am the worst of the worst, the villain that destroys their world.”

Ritsuka traces the notebook on her hands. The contents of the rest could be disclosed but Oberon doesn’t open any of the other pile of notebooks, so they all lie on her bed.

“Patxi cursed me for showing him a world that he thought was happier than his.”

Tears fell from her eyes as she smiled weakly. “I wonder if that was ever the right choice.”

“Panhuman history isn't the perfect utopia you can imagine. Humans seek hatred and war, there's suffering and agony. While some can lead happy lives, there's so many who can't even enjoy a warm meal or think of a future. Kirshtaria saw that, he wanted to make a better world because ours was so imperfect.”

“Why are we still going?”

“Why was ours the correct one?”

“Even now, I don't know. And I'm not sure if I'll ever know. Any justification might seem a rationalization, something to feel less guilty for killing all those people.”

“That is why I cannot forget, I cannot let the history of those lostbelts be erased. Even if I'm the only one who remembers,” her grip on the notebook tightened, “I can never forget them.”

Like a dream, one time Oberon caught sight of what she was drawing, finally reaching the dreamy red hue she long sought, depicting the autumn forest Oberon knew and hated.

The words depicting what happened in Faerie Britain, the stories of Artoria, Morgan, of Barghest, Baobhan Sith and Melusine, of Aurora, of Mike, of Ector, of Knocknarea, of him.

“Even if the rest of the world forgets, I cannot. That's why I want to record as much as I can. I caused them to disappear, remembering all of them is the least I can do.”

“That's guilt for you.”

“...Yes, I can't deny that. I've caused many people to suffer, that is why I cannot stop.”

“You're an idiot. Pursuing a fleeting dream that will only cause you to hurt, as your heart tears itself apart with these thorns you surround yourself with.”

“I guess. But someone has to do it right? But even so…

“I enjoy the moments with everyone here in Chaldea and I can say I'm happy.

But I also feel deep sadness for everything that I have done and continue to do.”

There are many contradicting truths, woven into each other.

Like overlapping threads in a beautiful(horrible) story.

“I could think Panhuman history is the correct one because it was there. There was a reason why it was chosen.”

“And if there isn't? If there is truly no meaning to your journey? That the reason your world was chosen was a mere whim of fate, a sudden lucky roll of the dice? That there is nothing special to your world that makes you worthy of the title of proper human history?”

“Then I guess I will have to make it so that there is one.”

“And if you can't?”

“Just because I can't doesn't mean I shouldn't try.”

“Trying doesn't mean you will succeed. Morgan tried her hardest, but in the end, she still failed, crumbling in despair as her Faerie kingdom burnt to ashes.”

“Well, that will come bite me when the time comes, but for now, that’s all I can do, right?”

In the end, as long as it entertains, does it matter?

What is the purpose of a story? To bring joy(tears)? To break one from that moment of boredom, of despair, and heal the soul even if just a little?

And in the end, does it even matter?

-

“I like this Saint Graph more.”

It’s been a long time since he has donned the clothes as King Oberon. Once the façade was over, once he could ascend, he has never worn anything but the colors of the depths of the abyss. Anyone else would think they are unsightly, hateful, depressing.

After all, the warmth of King Oberon’s butterfly wings makes children smile, makes people trust him. His monstruous limbs right now are not enchanting.

“I thought you were a butterfly girl. And I have been wearing these ever since, why are you even saying this up until now?”

“I just wanted to say that. I like the fluffy cape and the butterfly wings, but you sound less pained right now. And this outfit is cool too.”

In the end, perhaps Titania isn't meant to be someone who brings the sun to your eyes, with laughter so contagious that she makes the bitterness of a day go away. She's not a neverending warmth on a cold winter, nor a guiding bright star up in the dark sky. She's not the simple to your complicated, the light to your dark, the smile to your frown, the opposite of your miserable existence that brings joy to your life. An illogical being that accepts you in spite of your incompatibility. 

Was I wrong all along? 

A companion when watching a wonderful(decadent) play.

Someone who walks by your side in a crumbling world.

Someone whose company makes the poison more bearable and hell, tolerable.

Someone who simply loves me for who I am. Who gazed at the abyss, saw the void yet didn't run away.

Ah, this is so laughable, an amateur terrible tragicomedy, a hideous play with no sickeningly sweet ending.

(Perhaps it is because Titania is a wretched creature herself. Or perhaps because Titania's wings have been torn off that she understands a small fragment of you. Even if true understanding is a lie, a pipe dream. Titania has seen her own hell and can sympathize with yours, with the emptiness and resentment you hold. Not fearing it, not judging it. Just accepting you as the flawed existence you are.

If that is the case, then there is nothing beautiful about Titania.)

But even so...

"...You are..."

"Did you say something?"

"No, nevermind."

Ritsuka smiles as Oberon looks away. He grumbles about the cramped space as he hoards the bed, swatting a mosquito away while she writes in her diary. The boring stories she writes that he doesn't care about even if his fingers have traced those letters.

But even so, he stays.

Ah, love is a bothersome thing.

-

Thank you for reading!

Now, OH BOY WHERE TO BEGIN. Title comes from Debussy's Rêverie. I wanted to play with it, seeing that Oberon's Bond CE is called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which is the title of a melody by Ravel. I am sure it is no coincidence. Both Ravel and Debussy were considered the cornerstones of Impressionism in music, however, they both HATED being labeled like that.

Pavane for a Dead Princess is one of Ravel's solo compositions for the piano. However, unlike what the title implies, Ravel specifically said that it wasn't meant to be a melody of a funeral, but he wanted to evoke the idea of a princess dancing to the pavane. However, some people didn't really listen to him. So in this case, I think that rather than to see Oberon's CE as a funeral to Blanca, it is a way to celebrate her story, even if it didn't end on the happier note we would have wished. You can listen to it here

Now Rêverie is by Debussy and it's meant to feel like a dream, hence the name. The melody became a massive hit, though Debussy later hated this piece because he felt that he had written better pieces but this one was the one that made him famous. Since it was written when he was young, he felt he was still lacking a lot, but the melody became one of his most popular compositions nonetheless. I think that story ties nicely with what we perceive vs what others perceive. You can listen to it here

Now onto the actual fic, I had this vague idea when part 3 was released, especially after all the spoilers about Oberon's true identity. I really wanted to get him, and I was super lucky. In between getting him, his profile and bond lines being translated, I just got possessed to write this as a way to honor and thank him for coming home AND to give him a sort of happy ending after Avalon.

Oberon in that bed is thanks to that comic on Twitter where he is eating chips without any care and the kind reminder of his voice lines that in spite of him constantly complaining, he spends an awful lot of time on our room. Hehehe.

Best of luck if you are pulling for him! And once again, thank you for reading!

[ladypeaches4summerluv]

Cherries pt2

"Infamous in the way that all of school ha- has been…buzzing about having someone new and fresh around" Eloise stated weakly trying to save Colin. Her eyes darted to Penelope for reassurance. Penlope could only offer the group a small sigh and knowing smile. 

Kate really hoped they didn't think she was that nieve. "Hmmm right. Well then where can a girl find a drink around here?" As she gestures towards their cups. 

"Oh the bars set up outside…on the back patio."  Colin answered her with just the hint of a devilish smirk. A classic signature of someone up to no good. Sighing Kate looked around as Eloise and Penelope  did everything in their power to look at anything but her. 

"Just keep heading down this way" Colin pointed to the back hallway "till you see a set of glass french doors. Then just go on through. Bars right out there love." The devil in disguise is still smiling. Like a cat who ate the Canary. 

"Odd but whatever" she waved him off "Thanks. I'll find you guys in a bit." As she started her journey to find something to drink. The hallway was fairly scarce, a few people loitering about. Even the freaking hallways were impressive, it was quite annoying. Her sandals clacked against the tiled floors, she tugged at jean shorts suddenly feeling anxious.out of place. She reached the french doors and could see people moving about in the courtyard through the decorative glass.

 Soon as the doors swung open she realized it was much more mellow out here than she anticipated. Glancing around she finally spotted the bar cart. Unfortunately as the running theme for her life since she had moved away from Somerset,or perhaps Collins meddling.  Her luck had run out once again. Standing in front of the bar vibrantly discussing or possibly even arguing about something, was Anthony Bridgertong and his on again off again fling Sienna Rosso. Girlfriend? Mistress? Lady of the night he was often seen leaving with. She giggled to herself trying to decide if she wanted a drink that badly. Testing out the waters she slowly started to make her way to the bar. Once Kate  was within visible distance, Anthony suddenly started to change his demeanor. Looking less frustrated, more trance like shallow breathing eyes growing hungry. Sienna had yet to notice as she kept cursing and yelling switching between english and italian.  

“ You just want something in your life to make you feel wanted Anthony! Or distract you. I haven't decided which but we are clearly  just wasting time with each other. Why can't you hear what I'm saying? I'm trying so hard here, Anthony Jesus!! Everything has changed and I'm not -Anthony? Anthony!” Sienna had finally noticed that Anthony was looking feral, breathing deeply, gripping his party cup. and it was obviously not at her. She looked around until her eyes found none other than Kate Sharma behind her.  “Of course..” Sienna muttered to herself. Stepping back to observe Kate's reaction to Anthony's pheromones going berserk. Kate must have realized that the heated convo had stopped as the gin in her hand ended up being a heavy pour. Most likely focused on straining her ears instead of pouring  her drink. Gently putting the gin down on the table and grabbing some lemons. Kate whipped around only to immediately lock eyes on Anthony. For several beats of silence no one said anything. Anthony and Kate just having the most erotic and tension filled staring contest Sienna has ever seen in her life. Finally Anthony broke the silence. “Heyy..” his eyes breaking contact in favor of ogling her cleavage before darting back up. 

Kate wasn't quite aware of what was happening; she had just wanted a drink before getting caught up in the drama. Turning around expecting to see Anthony walking away from sienna. Except he was right there, his eyes ablaze and locking directly on her. She suddenly understood why making eye contact with Anthony Bridgerton might have been considered dangerous before. Because it was magnetic and electric.Grounding and unsettling. But mostly his gaze on her was simply breathtaking.  Felt like she was meant for this man and he for her. It could have just been lust, or the gin and tonics but seeing as she had yet to take a sip.  Before the moment could become too sappy his eyes darted to her chest. She bit her lip to hold back her grin. Men are at least predictable. Subconsciously pulling down her low cut tank top before lightly greeting him “Hey”  That's it. That was her grand response she inwardly cringed. What in the world is happening? She suddenly noticed Sienna standing off to the right. Observing them with a look on her face Kate could quite place. Frustration and understanding almost. Daring to glance back at Anthony. His passionate staring had yet to cease. 

[inklingofadream]

Hey for some reason I am thinking once again of your scenario where the Eye loves Jon and is jealous of Martin and so it indoctrinates Jon's new polycult with Anti-Martin Propaganda to show them Martin must be kept away from the Jon at all costs. Do you feel up to sharing some Anti-Martin talking points courtesy of the Eye?

cw for discussions of domestic abuse: lies about it happening between Jon and Martin and the manipulative, controlling actuality of any of the Eye/Jon verses

so if i had any video/audio/whatever editing skills i'd spend way too much time making the evil anti-martin clip show, but a lot of it is the bits where martin's a bit mean to jon without the context or jon's response.

most of this period takes place with jon unconscious, having himself a little coma to recover from all the apocalypse whiplash and stabbing, so by the time jon himself can express any opinion about any of this, everyone's formed very solid ideas of what his Terrible Boyfriend Martin was like, and they're all really sure that it was a situation where jon was being abused and couldn't see it. obviously jon's going to be resistant to the idea at first- they have all kinds of statistics to "explain" why jon's still attached to the idea of Martin, instead of being glad he's dead because martin was The Worst and jon was trapped with him.* stuff like how most ppl have to make multiple attempts before successfully leaving an abusive partner. obviously when jon starts healing from his Martin Trauma he'll Understand

[*completely unrelated tangent, but yesterday i was looking on the wikipedia page for "Faked death," and their list of notable incidents includes this passage:

Timothy Dexter was an eccentric 18th-century New England businessman probably best known for his punctuationless book A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress. However, he is also known for having faked his own death to see how people would react. His wife did not shed any tears at the wake, and as a result he caned her for not being sufficiently saddened at his passing

like geez bud i wonder why she wasn't sad about you dying!]

anything that happens on tape is fair game, with special emphasis on the scenes of jon showing up in s4 like "martin my beloved 🥺" and martin giving him the brush off- jon asking to elope is NOT included, because it implies an agency for jon in the getting-away-from-the-eye thing that's detrimental to the narrative. martin luring jon away from his patron is a talking point, all the little things he expresses discomfort with during s5

a big one is the "plz don't look in my brain" thing, because while that's a p normal and reasonable request usually, why would any of you, beloved jon harem followers of the eye, want to keep your thoughts from jon? Inconceivable! Jail for Martin for one thousand years!

Also, since a decent segment of ppl who end up Eye-inclined are the kind who go into academia and the like, or who at least value that construct, lotta emphasis on how unworthy of jon martin is bc he's a dropout and has never accomplished anything with his life, framing him as like. the stereotypical basement dweller, almost. like he's coasting (jon is SO OFFENDED on martin's behalf about this in particular)

martin lured jon into the lonely and jon was lucky to make it out alive! you could have lost the archivist before he was ever even in your universe! gasp! (who arranged this affair you ask? who benefited? don't worry about it, not the eye, the eye was horrified, we promise)

And a special, starring role for the clip of Jon in Night Night, where Jon's going to keep going with the statement and Martin asks him to stop, but edited down to just "Thank you for not hitting me this time" and the heavy breathing after. It makes all the new Eyevatars absolutely berserk. You HIT the archivist??? you hit the archivist often enough he thinks he needs to THANK you for not??? etc

The version the new eyevatars are getting is basically like. you know those relationship advice reddit posts that go around, where sometimes you can and sometimes you can't tell that the op is twisting around everything to make themselves look as sympathetic as possible? Like, there was a recent one abt "what do i do about my wife trying to use magic on me" that notably left out the reason for the central issue (op not wanting the wife to be friends with a specific guy. like wtf happened. probably the reason is actually "I don't want you to talk/look at/think about men who arent me in any capacity" but he knew that wouldn't play well). It's like those, but ESPECIALLY (from an audience pov) like the ones where the person being talked about finds it and adds in some details and context that flip it completely around so op looks the Worst. The ones that are like "aita bc i technically stole my daughter in law's cherries (but family is supposed to share with each other!)?" with specific enough details for the daughter in law to turn up like "she didnt pick some w/out permission, she physically dug up our cherry tree and planted it at her house. also in the past she's dumped a bottle of ink all over my wedding dress and put a rattlesnake in my shoes". Except jon's the one with all that essential context, so the Eye's version gets taken as uncritical fact.