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barnes-dameron · 4 years

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Destruction of Government Property

*not my gif

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x reader

Summary: After Frankie leaves for his tour, you get an interesting call from the government about something you and Frankie did before he left...

Word count: 2k

Warnings: one steamy scene, but no smut.

A/N: I don’t usually write for characters outside of the MCU or SW, but here we go. Saw this screenshot from a tumblr post, and had to write it with Frankie.

***

You dreaded the ride to the airport, especially since the person you were riding with won’t be with you on the drive back. At least the heavy gray clouds outside seemed to match your mood. It felt like yesterday that Frankie came back. Of course you both knew it wouldn’t be for long, but now that the day has come, you felt a crack form in your heart.

You glanced over at your husband at the wheel, a solemn look gracing his handsome face. Even when he’s pouting, he still manages to be cute. You knew that he hated leaving you, but he did promise that this one will be the last one. Apparently, him and the team decided on it since Tom wanted to be with his family more, as did Frankie, and the others agreed that they rather retire than have other soldiers be assigned to their team.

You reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in order to soothe him just a bit.

“Ten months,” Frankie said, breaking the silence and briefly looking at you before returning his gaze to the road.

“Ten months,” you repeated. “Ten months, and then I’ll have you all to myself.”

“You already do,” Frankie laughed, fingering the wedding ring that you were wearing.

“You know what I mean,” you retorted. “Just... no more long trips, no more cold beds, no more worrying if you’ll make it back-”

“Hey,” Frankie interjected. “You know I will always come back to you.”

You nodded, knowing that Frankie was right. He was a resilient man despite his seemingly quiet demeanor, something that you were attracted to when you met him years ago. He was determined, but he was also smart. He never knowingly did anything stupid, and thought things out before carrying out the action. He came back from tours before, and you were sure that he would return from this one too.

Air was struggling to come to your lungs as Frankie parked the car at the airport parking lot. You’ve done this before, but it didn’t make things easier. You looked over and see that Frankie was having trouble to comprehend the entire situation as well. You wouldn’t see each other for ten whole months. He would be in entire different continent, an ocean away from you, risking his life. And you would be here, continuing your civilian life, not knowing what is happening to your husband.

“One more time,” you pleaded. “One more time before you go.”

Frankie looked at you, a smirking stretching across his face before reaching his hand down, and pushing the driver’s seat all the way back. You laughed at his enthusiasm before unbuckling your seat belt and climbing over the console to straddle his lap.

“Okay, we’re going to have to do this quick,” Frankie said, settling his hands on your hips. “I can’t miss my flight otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Do you think we can break our record?” you asked, arching your eyebrow and flashing him a smile while biting your lip.

Frankie reached down, beginning to undo his belt and zipper of his uniform.

“Hermosa, no me dudes,” he growled before bringing a hand to the back of your neck and dragging your lips to meet his.

You didn’t wait for him to ask for permission, but instead opening your mouth to tangle your tongue with his. No matter how many times you two kiss or make love, you tried to memorize every aspect of it for the lonely nights when he’s away. You gripped his collar as Frankie ground his cock against your core, working you up.

You broke away from his mouth, placing kisses on his newly shaved cheeks and jaw, missing the scruff that used to be there. Frankie’s hands drifted to your ass, squeezing the flesh as you continued to make your journey down to his neck. You kissed and sucked the spot on his neck that you knew drove him crazy. His low groan rumbling in his chest and his tightened grip on your ass only encouraged you. You bit and sucked on his skin, tasting the tingle of salt and inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne.

“Quit teasing,” Frankie panted, smacking your ass playfully. “Tick tock, remember.”

You broke away, ignoring the red spot that bloomed on his neck. You smiled to yourself before pulling up the dress that you wore specifically for this purpose, and pulling aside your panties.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

***

The plane ride was unbearable to Frankie. Well, everything about this trip was unbearable to him, except your little escapade in the car at the airport parking lot. It was beginning to be a little tradition for you both, but that time would be the last one under those circumstances. Francisco hated to say goodbye to you, even if he was going to see you again. He hated to see the tears in your eyes, and hated even more that he wouldn’t get to be with you for close to a year.

The ride was long, the seat were uncomfortable, and the food sucked. It didn’t help that Benny snored when he slept, Pope would listen to his music so loud that Frankie could hear it, even if Santiago was wearing headphones, and Frankie had the middle seat. He couldn’t even get a lot of sleep because someone behind him was shaking their leg causing his seat to jostle around. For the first time in his military career, Frankie was excited to be at the base. At least here he could catch some sleep. He just needed to get through this debrief meeting.

“Alright men,” the General said, drawing Frankie out of his thoughts to pay attention. “You have now what you need to carry out the mission tomorrow. Dismissed.”

Frankie was the first to stand up and begin to make his way out.

“Morales,” the General’s voice stopping him in his track as Frankie let out a sigh.

So close. Frankie turned around, straightening his spine and folding his arms behind him.

“Yes, sir,” Frankie responded, trying to remain cordial while his blood boiled when sleep was calling his name.

“What’s that on your neck, soldier?” the General asked.

Heat bloomed in Frankie’s chest, reaching up his neck, and spreading to his cheeks. He reached his hand to his neck, his fingers settling on the mark that you left. It was tender under his touch, and even if he himself didn’t see it, he knew that it was purple. He thought back to the car, your mouth on his flesh. He thought for sure that the mark would be concealed under his collar, but he was wrong. Frankie licked his lips as he struggled to meet his General’s gaze. Catfish could see Pope and Benny behind the General, giving him a devious smile as they tried to conceal their laughter. Frankie cursed underneath his breath.

“It’s nothing, sir,” Frankie replied.

“Don’t lie to me, son,” the General demanded, his voice gruffer than what it was before. “What is that on your neck?”

Frankie took a deep breath, trying to swallow down the embarrassment. Nobody else left the meeting, instead standing around to watch this interaction.

“A hickey, sir,” Frankie responded, much to the delight of his friends.

Benny failed, and let out a huff of laughter, causing Will to elbow him in the ribs. The General’s attitude, however, was unwavering.

“And who gave it to you?” the General asked.

Frankie bit his lip, looking down at the ground before looking back at the General.

“My wife,” Frankie said.

The General eyed him and then the hickey on his neck. The room was so quiet that a fallen pin could be heard. Everyone waited to see what the General will do, but were all surprised that he left without saying a word. Once out, Santiago and Benny let out their laughter, bending forward with their hands on their knees as their raucous laughs filled the air. Frankie was still in the same position, stuck in bewilderment from the oddity of what just happened. Pope clapped a hand on Frankie’s shoulder, before pulling Frankie’s collar down to further display the bruise on his neck.

“Wow,” Pope exclaimed, examining your handiwork. “Your wife did a bang up job, Fish.”

Benny laughed even louder as Redfly scolded him.

“I’m never gonna live this down, aren’t I?” Frankie asked, biting his lip while casting his gaze downwards, not wanting to look at his friends.

“Never,” Benny confirmed.

***

The house was dark when you got home from work, much to your disappointment. You longed for the times when Frankie was home before you; the lights on, music playing, and his relaxed figure moving about in domesticity. But instead it was dark, quiet, and empty.

You turned on the hallway light of your little house, illuminating the picture that hung near the front door. It was photo of you and Frankie from your honeymoon, his smiling face still greeting you despite the distance. You smiled to yourself, reaching up to drift your fingers over the image. It’s been nearly a day, and you already miss him.

You were drawn away from your thoughts when a buzzing sound in your purse broke the silence. You reached in, fingering around to find your phone and fish it out. You arched an eyebrow as the words “NO CALLER ID” displayed on the screen. But nonetheless, you picked up.

“Hello?” you asked, your brows creasing towards the center.

“Is this Y/N Morales?” the man asked, his voice sounding deep through the spotty reception.

“Yes,” you confirmed, uncertainty evident in your voice.

“Mrs. Morales, are you aware that you have committed a misdemeanor?” the man implored.

Your stomach sank to the floor when it reached your ears. Your heartbeat began to quicken, as panic arose.

“What do you mean?” you asked, gripping your phone tighter. “I’ve never committed any kind of crime in my life. What misdemeanor?”

“Destruction of government property,” the man answered.

“Destruction of government property?” you repeated. “I’ve never destroyed, or even defaced any government property. Well, one time I wrote on a dollar bill but that’s only because I didn’t have any paper and it was an emergency. Is that what this is about?”

“No ma’am,” the man replied. “I’m talking about the mark you left on Lieutenant Colonel Francisco Morales.”

“Mark?” you asked. “What mark?”

The man was silent for a moment, and you could barely hear the gulp he made over the phone.

“The hickey, ma’am,” the man said, his voice a bit shaky. “The hickey on Lieutenant Colonel Morales’s neck.”

You instantly remembered the day he left. You did bite his neck, but you didn’t intend to give him a hickey. You forgot about how easily he bruises there. You let out a breath, rubbing your forehead with your other hand.

“Are you serious?” you asked, annoyance creeping in. “I’m facing a misdemeanor charge for giving my husband a hickey? It’s not like I did graffiti on a government building or defaced a statue. And since when is a person considered government property?”

You could tell that the man was flustered due to your line of questioning, and you were annoyed that you could potentially get fined because of something stupid like this.

“Ma’am,” the man sputtered out, his voice trying to come off calm but still was shaky. “We’ll let you off with a warning, as long as it doesn’t happen again.”

“You know what,” you said, done with the military and government at this point. “Fine. Fine, whatever.”

You didn’t bother to say goodbye, just hanging up the phone. It was the military who was putting your husband’s life at risk, and it was the military who threatened you with misdemeanor charges. Yeah, as long as Frankie was in the military, you won’t give him any more hickeys. But this was his last tour.

You threw your phone on the couch as you made your way to the living room to unwind. You couldn’t wait until Frankie got home. He will be out of the military, and you plan to keep him in your shared bedroom. Yep, when your husband gets back, you’re going to mark him up so good that it’ll be weeks before they disappear completely.

Taglist: @absurdthirst @tangledlove27

#frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #francisco morales #francisco morales x reader #francisco catfish morales x reader #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x reader #fanfic

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wayward-wren · 4 years

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What up lads new Philza Lore dropped

Been thinking about this since it's been revealed that c!Phil is immortal, or at least centuries old. I like analysing things, and my brain has been chugging away analysing c!Phil since this new revelation and I finally found time to sit down and get my thoughts out.

Unless specified, I'll be talking about the character Philza from now on! Let's get into it. Putting a cut in because it gets long. Also most of this is gonna be from memory because it's getting late and I'm not digging through 4+ months of vods!

remind me to never use the new Beta posting layout it gave me a word limit and then yeeted like 800 words i hate it here lets see if i can remember what I wrote

I’ve moved a lot in my life. I think on average about one new city every four years. This has meant a lot of goodbyes, a lot of meeting new people and breaking into new circles. When this new information was revealed, I instantly felt things click - I could relate to Phil suddenly.

Being centuries-old would create similar emotions, I think. Constantly being around people you know you will outlive, constantly finding yourself in new circles and groups. It takes a toll.

Being centuries old effects how Phil views relationships, people and countries.

Because I’ve moved a lot, I’ve noticed that I’m starting to get the attitude of ‘I can’t be bothered.’ I can’t be bothered going out of my way to meet new people, to make new friends I’m likely to move away from in a few years.

I’d imagine Phil would feel much the same way. Making close connections to people is impossible for him, really. He knows he’s going to outlive those around him and so the effort to put into growing relationships seems pointless.

I think this is most seen in his and Wilbur’s relationship. Wilbur clearly wants his attention - his pride - and clearly hasn’t gotten it to the extent he wants. (“I wonder if Phil would be proud of me” comes to mind. Plus I’m sure there’s something there with his relationship with Fundy and that cycle of bad parenting. And yes, it likely contributed to his spiral into madness, but this post is about Phil, not Wilbur.) But from Phil’s perspective, he knows Wilbur isn’t going to live as long as he is.

It explains why he’s so quick to kill Wilbur as well. Wilbur is too far gone, and Phil makes the decision to kill him before he does more harm. He’s long ago accepted the fact that his son will die before him, and so he is able to kill him.

Likewise, his relationship with Tommy reflects this. He doesn’t reach out to Tommy because there’s no point in making a new bond with someone who he will outlive. (especially with Wilbur’s death so fresh). However, he does make it clear that if Tommy reached out to him, he would have answered - more on that later.

His age also means he’s always looking at the big picture. He’s likely seen countless countries and empires and kingdoms rise and fall and he knows that they’re all temporary. He doesn’t see the importance in them like those who live and die within the lifespan of a nation.

He doesn’t see the small details. He doesn’t understand why Ghostbur is so upset about a simple sheep’s death - one with unlimited lives as well. In his mind, it’s just an animal. In Ghostbur’s mind, Friend is a friend, an important small thing. Phil is so used to moving on from things, he doesn’t understand the importance of pets and nations and a home.

This is all temporary in his mind, and lives are more important to him than a country. L’manberg was corrupting people (Tubbo, quite possible Wilbur in his mind) and thus it didn’t serve its purpose and needed to go before it hurt more people. (plus I wonder if there were some underlying anger and frustration towards L’manberg for the loss of his wings. It’s basically canon now (everyone say thank you Sadist!) that Phil’s wings were damaged during the explosion, and I would imagine for someone so old, losing limbs like wings and being grounded would be a shock and some of that may have been projected onto L’manberg)

(I also want to talk briefly about his and Techno’s relationship. While we haven’t had any canon confirmation, I don’t think Techno is fully mortal and it makes sense for Phil to gravitate towards other ancient beings. Plus my friend pointed out another theory in that Phil could be a patron of some kind for Techno, something Blood God related, I don’t know we need more information Techno please give us character lore I beg of you)

OKAY! I rewrote what I already had sometimes I hate Tumblr anyway onward let’s write this out before I pass out I’m tired.

Phil is willing to create relationships - but on his terms.

I said Phil is distant and hesitate to create bonds with people but this isn’t necessarily true. I want to point out Fundy and Ranboo and talk about his interactions with them and then talk about Tommy.

At the start of season two, Fundy, Ghostbur and Phil were really driving the lore. Phil seemed to be trying to bond with Fundy, and I think a lot of that likely had to do with guilt from what happened to Wilbur but there’s something deeper to it. He makes an effort to be there for Fundy and to help him.

Likewise, he went out of his way to save Ranboo from lava (though the overlap for in character and ooc is large there, I think it still applies), and brought him home after Doomsday, saving him from his own mind.

Phil seems himself as a benevolent being. He sees himself as right, and part of that is being there for his grandson, or helping out a hybrid in trouble.

However, it’s important to note - this is on his terms. He’s lived so long, he doesn’t want to put energy into relationships that won’t give him back something. For Fundy, I think a lot of it was making up for what happened with Wilbur and family responsibility, but he enjoyed spending time with Fundy (it’s been a while I need to rewatch some of those vods I think).

With Ranboo, again I feel like there’s a small part in fulfilling some need of Phil’s to feel like he’s being ‘good’ and plucking this kid out of a warzone makes him feel good. But at the same time, Ranboo is polite, quiet, generous - the perfect kind of person to put energy into building a relationship with. Plus, I would not be surprised if Ranboo reminds him of Techno.

If a relationship takes too much, or isn’t worth it - Phil drops it and doesn’t bother trying to fix what is broken. Why would he? He’s just going to outlive whatever the problem is. He lived in L’manberg, but he was never a part of it. He dismissed Tubbo so quickly when he saw Tubbo was being corrupted by his power and position. He didn’t follow up on Fundy or check that he was okay or make any effort to reach out to him when things started to go down.

And that brings us to Tommy. We’re all upset at how Phil reacted to Tommy’s exile and the following, but I think it makes so much sense. Like I said before, he doesn’t put the effort into reaching out to Tommy, but he would have gone to the Beach Party if Tommy had reached out to him. He was happy to see Tommy at Techno’s place, he was willing to create that relationship and bond.

But from Phil’s pov, Tommy was thrown aside by his home, found shelter with Techno, and then betrayed Techno by siding with the people who threw him aside. (and Techno is loyal to the few he trusts, so a betrayal like that will hit hard and Phil can see that). It makes sense that Phil decides that isn’t a relationship he wants to put energy into fixing.

(Also to clarify, I’m not saying Tommy was wrong to side with L’manberg and Tubbo, or that Techno was right in lashing out like he did. I’m just saying it’s a complex issue, and seeing all sides of it is important - they were both betrayed that day).

Living so long means Phil only cares to put effort and energy into relationships that benefit him, in whatever way. If someone is too difficult or needs too much effort, then in Phil’s mind there’s no reason to pursue that relationship.

Being so old makes Phil overly confident in himself.

Philza is always in the right. Full stop. End of story.

He’s lived so long and has so much more experience than anyone else that he thinks he is in the right all the time. His fatal flaw is his pride and - much like Techno - he refuses to see anything from anyone else’s point of view.

He saw L’manberg’s corruption, saw that it as a nation was hurting people and made the decision that it was doing more hurt than good so of course he joined Techno and Dream in destroying it.

He sees the big picture and so of course Friend’s death doesn’t matter, Friend was just an animal. Ghostbur is too naive and foolish to understand that now.

Unless he learns to listen and see someone else’s point of view - which will be very hard, because he’s so old and connecting with people is hard for him - he’s going to continue to think he’s always in the right.

Conclusion

There’s a few things I want to see/think might happen with Phil’s character, one more likely than the other.

First off - Karl.

If anyone knows how to look at the big picture, if anyone knows how insignificant the simple things are and how pointless it can be sometimes it’s the server’s resident time traveller. But where Karl differs from Phil is that he cares.

Karl goes out of his way to help, risks his memory and sanity to make things better for his friends. Pours time and effort and energy into relationships that may be onesided or temporary - heck, have you seen how much effort he goes to to be liked by everyone? Sometimes too much.

I’d love to see some Karl and Phil interaction. Maybe in a Tales episode (young Phil? Backstory? Maybe?) or even in regular canon. It’s unlikely probably, but I think it could be an interesting discussion. Someone write a fic.

Secondly - death.

CC!Phil has made it no secret that his character is probably going to die at some point (if only for ghost WINGSSSS). Honestly? I think it could be a great direction to take the character.

If Phil could find something worth dying for, could find the joys in the small things, could focus on the little details enough to realize - ‘oh. This does matter’ I honestly think that would be cool. A sacrificial death, maybe even for something as ‘insignificant’ as a pet (although pets can be important on this server). I’m not sure, but I think making peace with death would be a great way to take an immortal character’s arc.

There’s more I could talk about - for instance, I haven’t even mentioned the ‘not as painful as what I inflicted on their enemies’ comment and Phil’s whole ‘angel of death’ vibe, or the fact that he’s always only had one life. But it’s getting late and I’ve been writing this for like an hour and a half and I’m really tired. Feel free to add on!

#dream smp #dsmp #mcyt #philza #philza minecraft #this was fun #please reblog i put a lot of effort into this and i'd love people to see it!#let me know what you think ^-^#i'm going to have to find some songs and write something at some point probably #anyway sleep time #this is nearly 2000 words guys #im putting my highschool english essay skills to very good use

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askgundamwingfans · 3 years

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This concludes the answers so far for the first set of AskGWFan Questions. If you have anything you wanna ask the group, use the ask function on tumblr or send me a dm!

What's a character/ship you've learned to appreciate? What made you change your mind?

Relena x Dorothy. Both as characters and as a ship. Part of this is that I hadn't seen all of the series at the time I first did fandom, but I had seen Endless Waltz, and that was the extent to which I had known Dorothy. She doesn't even interact with Relena in EW!! I had no impression of her (besides whomst??), and I honestly don't even remember if Relena ever appeared in fics I read since a lot of them were AUs anyway. However, after seeing the series and MISS RELENA and all of Dorothy's... Dorothy, I think she's got some great cult appeal!! And my mind really changed on both when I saw the whole series properly. I'm not sure I would have been on board with them at the time since I was less discerning about how female characters often get developed poorly, but I don't regret that I experienced Relena and Dorothy fully at a time where I could appreciate them.

I eventually started to appreciate Relena more, she grows up a lot by the end, even if she definitely should not be handling the responsibility she has...

Honestly breaking outside of the typical ships by reading more fics broadened my horizons. Writers I loved ventured into non-typical and I found myself enjoying the exploration. I think over time it had less to do with the ship and more to do with the characters as the fandom aged.

I've been reading a lot more yaoi since interacting with the larger fandom. I've always loved non-traditional gender roles in romance stories, and I don't know why it took me so long to try yaoi? I've read some yuri but never in Gundam Wing. Interacting with the yaoi community has opened up a lot more characterization of the pilots for me, which have always played the role of "tough, emotionless boys" in my headcanons.

Howard. He’s amazing and hilarious and as I get older I’m more and more like, is this the only sane character? I used to just be like “who is this weird guy?” and now I’m like “why isn’t there more Howard?”

What characters/ships do you think got some negative flack? How has the GW fandom's attitudes towards those characters/ships changed?

The scientists hahahahahaahah. I think for the most part unless you are in a niche group, the scientists are generally seen as child abusers to varying degrees. Tsubarov? Everyone still hates him but acknowledge he has a flair for the dramatique. Camp villain appreciation I guess. Relena was definitely shat on, being at the unfortunate intersection of romantic rival and 'annoying' female lead. Again, as someone whose canon experience was informed by Endless Waltz more than the anime, I don't remember if I had any opinions on her at all. However, I think people have admitted where they were wrong (whether owning up to bashing, or speaking up about fandom broadly).

Well besides the obvious Relena, one character that got so much hate and bashing in 1xR circles was Sylvia. I remember one of the first things I checked when I got back into fandom was Sylvia's role in the show and was surprised to see how little she actually does?? She's literally in one episode but was constantly dragged into 1xR stories to be a romantic rival for Relena. Pretty much the same role Relena took on in a lot of 1x2 stories. I guess we just got away with it because she was a minor character. It was just interesting to me that 1xR fans gave some girl the same treatment that 1x2 fans did to Relena. I think that realization helped me put aside the Relena bashing and move on from it. If I don't see Sylvia as an evil character anymore, why would Relena bashers? And I was really happy to find that I was right. As the fandom moved away from romance-centric plots to look at self growth and politics, less characters became target for fandom hate/bashing, and we moved on.

Well, back in the olden days Relena and Wufei were probably the ones who got it worst. Dorothy. Hilde. Zechs. Treize. Heck, even reasonably popular characters like Duo and Quatre had their own "defense" societies against some of the fanon surrounding them. But fans have grown up over the years and portrayals of the characters and various ships have too. (2x5 for instance has gone from a total rare pair to one of the top GW ships on AO3 which I find a fascinating trajectory.) Have we evolved into a perfect utopia? No, and there will probably always be complaints about how a given character or ship is popularly portrayed. I certainly have my bugbears, just like anyone else might. But it's a long time since I've opened up a fic and seen character bashing of the sort that was common c. 2001. People might not be shy about sharing their opinions on their own blogs, but picking fights on other people's content? Flame wars? Not so much these days. The GW fandom might be smaller, but we're also closer-knit. Fandom is about having fun; finding the pockets that bring you enjoyment and finding ways to filter out the rest, and I think we mostly get that (or we're just too old and tired to have much fight left in in us lol).

Well, very early Relena and Duo battles made me nervous of the fandom back in the day, but I think those mainly came from places within ourselves that we can see now don’t need to be at odds. I love them both and I am glad to see the fandom embrace them both on their own merits. I think it’s easy to be anti- when you are younger and appreciative when you are older (and I totally understand how people could be anti! No judgements. I just love everyone and want everyone to be happy. Except Zechs. He has some SERIOUS explaining to do.)

Oh, Relena *definitely* had a lot of negative flack. I'm glad most of us seem to have mellowed out about the poor girl. It's hard to hate a kid when one is in their 30's, lol

Relena of course, but also 3x4 was seen as the “lesser” ship back in my day and there wasn’t much depth or enthusiasm by many other fans.

#askgwfans #gundamn wing #ask #ask gundam wing fans #prev character bashing #new favs

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adz · 3 years

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long post about generational communication and fandom discourse LOL

as someone in my mid 20s on this site, i've lately been sort of feeling like someone watching an F1 race where I'm just kind of standing on the side of the road looking at trees and then an incredibly verbose chunk of fandom discourse filled with cryptic abbreviations and terms i've never heard whizzes past at 200 mph. and it's made me think a lot about how zoomers and younger millennials consume media, how the media itself has changed concurrent with shifts in the way people discuss and ingest games and tv shows and content creators.

it's important to note that the fandom sphere is huge and heterogeneous and discussing it as one mass with shared attitudes and content ideologies will never be completely accurate. but i do think there are some assumptions that can be made specifically about online fan spaces.

one thing that's endlessly fascinating to me is the way there's not really an online generational divide anymore, and as fandom moved online, it grew into a totally all-ages space with only dotted line divisions between groups of, for example, high schoolers vs. 35 year olds. imagine an enormous room where 12-14-yr-olds are continually entering as they make tumblr accounts and begin to engage with people about the cartoons they like, and at the other end of the room an adult will occasionally be like "see ya" and leave, but the majority of them are still hanging out and even mingling with the kids. which is maybe a creepier mental image than I meant to give; what I mean isn't that adults in fandom are necessarily predatory, but that you now have an ecosystem populated by people with vastly differing levels of maturity and very different modes/expectations of communication.

it seems like that's where a lot of misunderstandings about fandom come from: when someone criticizes fans of a children's cartoon for saying x or not decrying the bad behavior of a character, they could be talking about a preteen or they could be talking about someone with preteen kids. our expectations for the behavior of these two people is (and should be!) very different, but without universal participation in the (frankly very stupid) practice of listing all one's census data in the description of their blog, we are often missing this critical information.

the solution I'd like to see (and something that seemed to be happening outside of fandom like 15 years ago, when I was just beginning to get online) is a generational shift away from categorical judgment, where anyone who identifies as X or consumes Y media is irredeemable, the rift is too great to even attempt communication, etc. cutting off communication from a friend because of a disagreement is an extreme solution, and in general, it pays to be more tolerant of your friends than you would be about random strangers online, but maybe we can even extend well-intentioned strangers some lenience too? we also need to talk about when someone with a bad opinion who's since changed their mind is considered rehabilitated, because it feels like there are clear guidelines for shutting these people out of circles but not for welcoming them back in. but that's beyond the scope of this lol

instead, what i'm seeing are sect-based politics based around what content people find entertaining/appropriate, in the same way identity politics among queer people have been both tremendously helpful at building community and the cause of incredibly stupid, insular infighting between people who have a very obvious common enemy.

I think we have to allow our friends to have different tolerances for things that offend us. We have to accept that things that are outdated or problematic can also be beautiful and worthwhile (albeit worthy of mindful criticism). But above all, we should recognize that obsessing over petty disagreements does not make a community stronger or more pure.

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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I feel like I need to talk about this...

I’m very open about being aroace. At least here on Tumblr I am. (Outside of Tumblr, I am technically out, but some issues with my mother and grandmother have forced me back into the closet. I felt miserable about that initially, but I’m learning to be fine with it.) But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, I didn’t even know what aroace meant until I was 18. So how was I supposed to know when I got my first ‘celebrity crush’ that those last words do not, in fact, describe very accurately what I was experiencing? I didn’t know I had ADHD, either. I feel like that might have helped me realise some things about my experience. But let me go back a bit and actually tell you what happened and how it happened. [side note: I’ll be starting from a bit earlier than the ‘crush’ thing happened because I feel like it’s important for whoever reads this to understand how my circumstances shaped the experience I had]

Backstory:

I had always been different from my peers, so it was not surprising to anyone that I was bullied in middle school. [side note: Judging from my and my little brother’s combined experience, I feel like bullying is, quite unfortunately, something of a universal experience in middle school - in my day, I was on the receiving end. This last school year, my brother was the bully. Gosh, I wish I could tell my story without many deviations and without crying as I type, but I’ve already thrown both of those intentions out the window.]

So anyway, things got so bad that I was driven to suicidal thoughts. One night I was just lying in bed, thinking about going through with it, but I was like, well, I’ve got a test in the morning. Maybe after that. 13-year-old me had very weird priorities. I kind of still value my work over my mental health, but I’m working on it. So that night, I didn’t do anything. The next day, right before school, I was on the internet and I found out a new show had premiered. And then, as I was watching the pilot episode, that was when it happened. I saw this boy, whom I will not be naming, and I listened to him sing. I felt nothing much at the moment, but I couldn’t get the song out of my mind all day. Up until that moment, I had had a weird attitude towards music where I’d only listen to female singers. My ‘boys have cooties’ phase, I guess you could say. But this one, he was the first one I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I felt like I could listen to his voice 24/7. I’ve had that feeling hundreds of times by now, but I hadn’t before then. So I figured, this must be what a crush means, right? This must be what all my peers are talking about. The next day, I confided in a girl from my class with whom I was kind of friendly (though not actual friends, I’d say). I asked her if she’d seen the show, if she knew this person. She said yes and we kind of gushed about the song together, and I felt normal for a couple of minutes. I never knew the difference between my experience and what is considered ‘normal’ until years later.

For the time being, the thought of this special person was what was keeping me alive. I started having visions of him walking with me through the school hallways or sitting next to me on the bus home from school. I knew perfectly well those visions weren’t real, but they made me feel better. Happy. Safe. Seen. Full disclosure: I still have such visions, I’ve had them with different people through the years as my hyperfixations change. My latest one is what has enabled me to deal with some of my worst phobias (and I have a long list of them). I’ve never told anybody what it is, and I won’t be telling because I feel like if I do tell, the vision will not be strong enough to work against my fears. But I’m getting sidetracked again. Sorry for that.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with this guy. He was all I could think about, he was keeping me alive through what was possibly the toughest time in my life to date. So naturally, thanks to my heteronormative, amatonormative surroundings, I was convinced I had a crush on him. In fact, after this experience had lasted about a year, I was sure I was in love.

Then things changed. I started high school. I found a couple of friends, and the people in my class in general made me feel like I could finally be myself. Be open about what I thought and how I felt. So by the end of the first semester, all 27 people in my class knew about my feelings for this guy. What I didn’t know was that they didn’t know that it wasn’t exactly like I was describing it. Because I wasn’t aware that a straight/ allo person’s idea of being ‘in love’ was different from mine. I was just putting things in words I thought I understood.

So it came as a total surprise when some people from my class started teasing me about it. It wasn’t malicious teasing, that much I could tell. I had been bullied mercilessly before. What my new classmates were doing was asking genuine questions in a slightly teasing manner. For example, it would be known that my special person had a girlfriend, and so they’d ask me ‘aren’t you jealous’ or ‘do you wish you were that’, or stuff like that. And those questions felt so weird. So stupid. I thought, wait, why would I be jealous? Why would I feel bad about this person who has made me so happy, being happy himself? Why would I want to date him? That had nothing to do with how I felt. I told my classmates so. They gave me weird looks in response. So I started feeling like there was something wrong with me. Like I wasn’t doing that ‘in love’ thing right. Suddenly, I felt like my feelings were being intruded upon. Tarnished, somehow. I had always been aware that my visions were anything but real. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. And all of a sudden, somebody was suggesting that I should want to date this person. Why would I want to date anyone, I thought? Even if it was him. Dating people was awkward. Making physical contact with anyone outside my immediate family made me shudder. It still does, though I can hug some of my closest friends without any negative feelings. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Back to my first time I questioned my experience. I was about 14 at the time (in Bulgaria, high school starts from grade 8, ages 13-14 or 14-15), and, well, I didn’t do much questioning at the time. I just told myself that they didn’t understand my feelings, and I stopped being so open about the topic.

My hyperfixation on this person lasted long. Longer than any other I’ve ever had to date. Maybe it was because I clung to it like it was what tethered me to my mortal life. But by my final year of high school, I could feel it fading away. I was forcing myself to think about this person, to conjure up the old visions; the song that had started it all was drained of all meaning that it had held for me. I was moving on to other hyperfixations. I felt like I was betraying myself, like I was breaking some sort of unbreakable vow. It was time to face the music. So I let go. I allowed myself to move on. It was kind of made easier by the fact that my special person had changed, too, and had moved on to projects that I could not enjoy due to some triggering content. And I moved on.

Then I joined Tumblr. I discovered some things. Among them was Hellenic polytheism. It had been a while since I’d found my faith in the Hellenic pantheon, but Tumblr was where I found out I was not alone, that there was an existent religion. And step by step, I realised that... I had been projecting Apollo’s presence onto my special person. And my old connection to that person had started fading away when I had realised I believed in the gods.

This explained a lot of things. But there was still the fact that I had never been able to look at another person the way my peers were looking at each other. I had been asked out two or three times during high school. I had rejected those people without even thinking about it. My best friend at the time was a boy and most teachers seemed to ship us together because, well, let’s be real - we were constantly fighting like an old married couple. It took him getting a girlfriend and seeing how happy I was for the two of them for everyone to realise that things between us were, and had always been, purely platonic. And now I was going to uni and I had never had feelings I was apparently supposed to have.

It was also thanks to Tumblr that I discovered the extent of the LGBTQ+ community. I considered myself an ally at first, and I was a passionate ally, too. I still am nothing but supportive to my fellow LGBTQ+ people of all identities, but it was not until I was 18 going on 19 that I discovered the term ‘asexual’. I knew quite suddenly that this was the term for me. I knew what I was and how I felt. I felt mature enough to know the difference between ‘I’m not experienced enough to know for sure’ and ‘I’ve just never had those feelings, I don’t even know what they’re supposed to be like’. It took a bit longer to find out there was a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, but by the time I was 19, I had proudly labelled myself ‘aroace’. I still feel at home with this label. I am completely open to the possibility that it might change with time, but this is what feels right at this time.

Fast-forward another couple of years to about 8 months ago. I had always known that I got really invested into stuff - shows, books, hobbies, people - only for that investment to wear off after a time. The timespans varied, but I realised I had experienced this ever since I was in pre-school at least. I didn’t have a term for it, though. And then, all of a sudden, Tumblr started offering me posts tagged ADHD. I could relate to maybe 95% of them. At one point, it felt like whatever algorithm this hellsite operates on was shoving the ADHD posts in my face, as if screaming ‘DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF, WELL, YOU?!!!’ in my ears. So I did some tests. I did a lot of self-reflection. I went to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed in March. I started educating myself on the terminology and found out that what I was experiencing is called hyperfixating. So here I am now.

Here I am now, reflecting back on my experience from 8 years ago, connecting the dots. Realising what it was that I went through, allowing myself to go through it again, with different things and people. I don’t feel the need to cling to hyperfixations anymore because I know that is what they are and I know I can’t keep them forever. Of course, I do feel bad about stopping caring about something that used to be my light and life for a time. I dread the time I’ll get over my current hyperfixation, but I also know it’s inevitable. My ADHD brain needs the change and it happens naturally. And somehow I’m ok with that.

Well, this is it. This is the story of how Tumblr prompted me to discover aspects of myself that have been there for as long as I can remember. What better place to talk about it than Tumblr itself? What better group of people to understand and accept me than my lovely mutuals and followers? If you’re reading this, thank you. For being here, for listening to me, for allowing me to be who I am. You’ve got no idea how happy this makes me, even though I can barely see what I’m typing through the tears. Thank you.

#personal #jnk #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aroace #adhd #hellenic polytheism #tw: suicide #tw: bullying

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motivatedtale-blog · 4 years

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About Motivatedtale

.:Contents:.

.:Author’s Note:.

.:Summary/Idea:.

.:Characters:.

Motive

Unmotivated

.:Stray Facts and Resources:.

FAQ

Rules

.:Inspiration:.

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.:Author’s Note:.

Hey, so I've noticed this a long time ago but I’m just now confronting it since I got my computer fixed- it seems pretty impossible to reach the “About Motivatedtale” on mobile, even with the literal LINK to the page (I could only sort of access it through some loopholes in a browser- and the link just took me to my Tumblr instead), so I wanted to compile the information that’s in there into a post for any mobile users who may follow this blog. I’ve got more followers here than my art blog-- so even if there’s not much interaction each post, I think there’s at least a few people who might not have access to an about page here. Changes are very likely to be made and things will be added occasionally :)

.:Summary/Idea:.

“Have you ever wondered what happens to creations when a creator gives up?”

Motivatedtale is essentially an abandoned AU with no finished story or a plot. Which, ironically, not having a story is the story itself. It’s a tale about how the lack of motivation (along with other things like self doubt and lack of interest) in a Creator leaves a story unfinished, and with no reason to exist, no story, the AU is crumbling into nothingness, as it is being forgotten by the only one who knows about its existence- the Creator. However, there’s two characters in it that have to deal with that burden of having no ending or reasons to exist. And they’re completely aware of what’s going on.

At least, the first one that was created is aware, because they were made to be that way. They inform the only other character (Frisk/Motive) about all of this when they meet. They’re a Sans of course (which is sort of a self aware joke because a lot of people either start with the Sans of an AU when creating characters, subtly revolve around a Sans of an AU in a story, or the entire story literally and shamelessly revolves around a Sans. This is not an attack on anyone). This Sans goes by Unmotivated, and is quite bitter about existing. These characters have no finished story, no destiny, and no purpose. Being self aware of this can be a great burden on hope and happiness; ignorance is bliss, after all.

What the AU would’ve been if it was “completed” is unsure.

How the story ends is not fully decided or meant to be disclosed (for now), but even if this AU is finished or not, it is already technically complete. It symbolizes a project that is given up on; a project that is abandoned, and what would happen if the characters in these types of projects were conscious about this- if our ideas existed somewhere out there, somewhere where our decisions, intentional and unintentional, have a serious affect.

So, if this AU is abandoned, it’ll be quite ironic.

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.:Characters:.

Motive

Motive is the Frisk of this AU, and one of only two characters that are in this AU. Motive was created after Unmotivated, but the coloring of their design was given up on towards the very end. Their sweater is unfinished because the creator gave up on them due to being overwhelmed with empty and destructive thoughts, but the outline/shape is still there. The sleeve usually is never shaded/effected by light.

Motive is an optimist, and believes that their AU will one day be finished. They have the soul of motivation, which is outwardly visible and tied to the loose hanging strap of their overalls. They don’t have preferences in pronouns (though they/them is usually the default), and calling them by any pronoun is fine (she/he/they/it..it really doesn’t matter, honestly).

Motive acts impulsively a lot of times and does not think of the consequences of their actions…or, they do, but they choose to move forward with their actions anyways. Since optimism is one of their key traits and it’s exaggerated and simplified in their character and logic, it can result in some bad outcomes. The same goes for their impulsitivity. They’re not that serious natured, and act more like a child than a young adult (despite being 18). However, they do make a lot of (sometimes unnerving) jokes that could be considered uncomfortable, but they mean no harm. While Motive is quite intelligent and empathetic, they’re distracted quite easily and might say or do inappropriate things during certain situations.

Since Motive is technically a new character and was not fully developed by their Creator (backstory, powers, etc), their underdevelopment as a character is actually a big part of their development as a character.

(More is to be added later)

Unmotivated

The Sans of the AU, and the first ever character created (which again is poking fun of the idea that people usually start with the Sans of the AU for characters). Unmotivated is bitter and cynical towards his existence and his Creator, and is completely aware of the multiverse and AU Creators. A big fourth wall breaker. He’s apathetic, bored and often paints himself as emotionless and uncaring to hide any hurt/feelings of helplessness. He bottled them away a long time ago. At first, Unmotivated was hopeful about his AU, but he was alone for an unspecified but long amount of time in his AU, and was driven to toxicity and bitterness during that time. He’s seen his universe grow, halt, and then slowly deteriorate- he has seen new ideas come and go, and is helpless to stop the rampant decay of his universe- his home- his story. He’s overall a pretty lonely character.

When or why he got the nickname “Unmotivated” is unclear- but it’s definitely supposed to be a pun. He hates the name but finds it funny and ironic at the same time.

Unmotivated’s soul is held by a string that is woven into his rain coat. He considers this to be poor design choice but doesn’t really do anything to fix it. He often keeps his soul in his pocket for safe keeping. (More is to be added later)

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.:Stray Facts:.

• The AU resets (sort of like an update) each time a new idea is added. This is how Unmotivated is generally aware of Motive when they’re created. • The “Creator” resembles anyone who has abandoned or given up on their projects or ideas. This isn’t meant to put people that do this in a negative light.

•The white of Motive’s sleeve isn’t meant to be shaded since it’s “incomplete.”

FAQ (most are from amino since not many people ask here)

- What was the AU supposed to originally be before it was abandoned?

This is undecided and left up for interpretation. However, based off of the design of the current characters, it can be safely assumed that the AU was supposed to be more lighthearted and cutesy. There are random bits and ideas spread throughout the AU that give glimpses to what it could’ve been.

- Can I draw fanart of these characters?

Of course! I’d be honored to receive fanart and would love to see it! Just please keep things appropriate if you do.

- Is Ink Sans or Core Frisk going to be in the comic?

No.

I’ve gotten asked this several times, and the answer is no. Doing this would completely ruin the theme and point I’m trying to get across with this comic. This story revolves around a Creator and their Creations, and there will be no other characters made by other people.

- Are Motive and Unmotivated shipped together?

NO.

��It’s fine as a joke but please realize they aren’t. This isn’t an AU centered around romance and would distract from the goal of the comic if I had that. While I’m not anti-frans in any sense, I still don’t want it in my comic.

- How often do you plan on updating the comic?

Each page is published whenever I finish it nowadays due to stress of a schedule. I post them in bulks of 2-3 on amino and twitter, and whenever I finish the page on deviantart, instagram and here.

- Is the Creator a character?

Yes, and no. The Creator represents not only myself, but any artist that has struggles putting their creations out there due to insecurities or other causes. They’re more symbolic and fluent rather than a structured and identified character. Of course though, if there is any introduction of the Creator, I would have to give them some sort of design- and I do have general ideas of what they’d look like. However, they’re still supposed to represent a broader group of people than just myself.

- What does Unmotivated think about other AUs/Sanses?

Unmotivated has an apathetic mindset when it comes to AUs and other characters like him. He’s incredibly self aware and sees a much bigger picture. He knows characters are just pawns to their creator, and won’t get fazed by any story. Sort of like watching actors in a movie while constantly reminding yourself that they’re just actors. However, he is quite envious of anyone with a complete and happy storyline, since that’s something he lacks but yearns the most. That’s something he wish he had.

Keep in mind Unmotivated and Motive cannot interact or travel outside of their AU, and no one can interact with their AU except the editor/creator.

Rules

• Please do not publicly RP with these characters unless given permission. This might be changed after more of the comic is complete, but I do not want these character’s personalities to be strewn.

• Please do not draw or write NSFW with my characters– I am a minor, and a large part of my audience are also minors.

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.:Inspiration:.

Alright, this part is going to be a lot less formal and more personal. The idea for this AU came from my own self doubt and self destructive attitude as a creator. Doubting my own works and ideas has seriously held me back for a long time, and it STILL holds me back as I’m sure it has for many, MANY other creators like me. Musicians, artists, writers.. Almost all of us have that fear of trying out a new idea or making something you usually wouldn’t. Almost all of us have felt that crushing self doubt when you see someone better than you, and you tell yourself you’ll never be like them, your art will never be that great, you’ll never get that far…so on, so on.

So, while I was trying to come up with an idea for an AU (which I had actually been considering for well over a year), the thoughts crept in.

“no one will like this”

“there’s enough AU’s”

“you’re unoriginal”

“this is a waste of time”

“the fandom is dying”

“you have horrible character designs”

“AU’s are overrated”

“this doesn’t fit your audience”

“people will judge you”

“you never finish anything”

“this is stupid”

“your art isn’t good enough”

“you’re not good enough”

“someone probably already came up with this idea”

“no one cares about your idea”

“no one would bother with your art”

And ironically, all these thoughts gave me this idea.

Even so, these thoughts have still been nagging me every time I even try to work on this, and it’s been taking a lot of courage to take on the heap of anxiety I have over something so harmless. I didn’t join the Undertale fandom for over a year simply because I was afraid of being judged for my interests,, fun fact. Never thought I’d be able to make an AU. I’m still quite nervous posting art of anything that isn’t Mario related for some reason.

Putting all this to side though, I find the concept of what happens to unfinished and/or abandoned stories and projects interesting, especially if there’s an alternate reality that’s actually effected by your decisions. Kinda like you’re a god. I mean, imagine what it would be like if you had a creator and they just gave up on you, and you’re left with no purpose. Seems like it would suck, haha.

So that’s basically my AU, Motivatedtale. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading if you did!

#Motivatedtale #undertale au #comic #about page #alternate universe #information #motivatedtale comic #au #au comic #au sans #au frisk #motive #unmotivated

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logical-little-lies · 4 years

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Your Boyfriend’s Cute- Little Vlogs (pt.2)

a/n: I love the fact that this is already receiving support on tumblr and here, and I posted the first chapter like less than twenty four hours ago! it's giving me lots n lots of motivation to brainstorm the plot to this story. just so yk, it's boutta move FAST (aka: lots of timeskips).

chapter summary: Virgil and Roman go to Patton's house for the first time, and Virgil starts to realize why Roman has a crush on Logan. Also, Patton and Virgil film a video for Patton's channel.

Virgil exited the Hot Topic with an extremely positive attitude. He had hit send on a list of things he wanted Roman to get for him, and he was ready to meet Patton. The mall was an outdoor mall, so he quickly scanned the 'workers only' parking spots for Logan. He spotted him, in a dark blue t-shirt that read 'Eldenridge Bookshop' with a little book logo on it. Virgil caught himself admiring Logan's body and face from afar, before snapping out of his (slightly gay) daze. He waved, catching his attention. Logan smiled warmly, and Virgil crossed the parking lot.

"Hello Virgil," Logan held his hand out, and Virgil shook it lightly.

"Very professional," he teased, smiling to show that he was just playing. Roman was right. This man was definitely cute. Logan chuckled.

"Yeah, that's what Patton said," Logan opened the door to the passenger seat on his car, motioning for him to get in. Virgil climbed into the vehicle, the door closing behind him.

Logan walked around the back of the car, getting in on the drivers side. "Buckle your seatbelt, honey," Logan instructed, following the directions himself before starting the car. Virgil did as he said without question, willing himself to stop blushing at the casual use of the word 'honey'.

"How far do you live?" Virgil questioned after a few moments of silence. Logan had pulled out of the parking spot, making his way to the exit of the outdoor mall.

"About ten minutes. Roman wanted to be there when you met Patton, but no doubt, we'll beat him there. Patton's waiting at home,so I'll just record it, yeah?"

Virgil nodded at Logan's words. He had a very caregivery tone, in a stern, but soft way. He could understand why Patton liked him as a caregiver, and why Roman had a crush on him. "Sounds good to me," Virgil smiled.

"So, how was work?" Logan turned onto the main road, tapping his finger against the steering wheel.

"Good, just another day of selling twenty one pilots merch to twelve year old wanna-be emos," Virgil shrugged, causing Logan to laugh lightly.

"I'm guess you used to be one of those emo kids when you were younger?"

"Bitch, I still am. The only difference is that I'm technically an adult."

"Language!" he scolded lightly, speaking in a playful tone.

There was a few beats of silence, Virgil taking the opportunity to look out the window and admire the beautiful weather. "Patton's very excited to see you, he has so many ideas for stuff to do with you."

Logan and Virgil continued on the conversation, distracting Virgil from his excitement for the time being. Suddenly, Logan turned into a neighborhood, and onto a small side street. The two-floored yellow house Virgil saw in many videos was at the end. There were flowers in the front yard. Patton sat on the front porch, and he jumped up when Logan entered the driveway.

"You stay here until I motion you out, I want to make sure I catch this on video," Logan put the car in park, pulling his phone out of his pocket and getting out of the car. Patton awkwardly stood by the door of his house, Logan holding up his phone. Virgil unbuckled, excitedly jumping out of the car when Logan made the motion.

Virgil almost tackled Patton to the ground when he hugged him, jumping into his arms. Right then was when Roman pulled into the driveway behind Logan's car. "I can't believe this, you're actually...here, i-it's crazy."

"I know kiddo, I'm happy to see you too."

Patton held Virgil in a tight hug for at least a minute straight, running his fingers through his hair. Patton was slightly chubby,wearing a very soft light blue sweater. Therefore, he was very cuddleable. Roman and Logan made sure not to interrupt their moment, not speaking until they finally pulled away.

"I'm so happy right now, you have no idea," Virgil smiled, turning and approaching Roman, hugging him.

"Yeah, and this little emo here doesn't get this excited unless he regresses. He tries to keep up his angsty exterior, but he's really just soft."

Virgil playfully glared at him, pretending to be mad at him for the silly teasing. "Come inside," Patton was quick to open his door, welcoming the couple into his home.

"Like I say whenever we video chat, your house is nice as hell," Virgil admired the home.

"Yep. There's so many rooms that we have a normal bedroom, the little bedroom that you see in most of my videos, and a set of extra rooms. Seriously, this place is perfect," Logan sat down on the couch as Patton spoke. Patton disappeared, going up the stairs.

"Where's he going?" Roman pondered, sitting on the couch near Logan.

"Probably to grab the vlogging camera from the little bedroom," Logan replied as Virgil sat down next to his boyfriend. Virgil could've sworn he caught Logan's eyes lingering on Roman before he spoke again.

"Uh, Roman, how are you?" he stumbled upon his words lightly.

"Good," Roman smiled. Virgil saw Patton stop at the bottom of the steps, holding a small camera.

"Logan, is it okay if me and Virgil hang out upstairs? You guys can do whatever you want down here..find some common interests or something."

Logan gave Patton a look Virgil didn't get the chance to decode, automatically fixing his face when Roman looked at him. "That sounds good to me. I get that you guys have known each other forever, and I understand if you wanna spend some time alone," Roman smiled at Patton softly.

Patton came over, grabbing Virgil's hand and pulling him up. He didn't let go, leading him up the stairs. Neither of them said anything until they were in Patton's little room. "First of all," Patton closed the door behind him, moving to pull his tripod out of the corner of the room, "Your boyfriend is cute as hell. Like I knew that before but seeing him in person just confirmed it."

Virgil laughed, "We're all so gay, I swear to god. Your boyfriend is cute too, at least Roman thinks so."

"Roman's poly right? Logan and I are...kind of why I left Logan down there, he's lowkey been crushing on Roman since forever," Patton motioned Virgil over, patting a spot on the edge of the bed, facing the tripod he had set up. Virgil took his spot, watching Patton attach the camera to the setup.

"Yeah, Roman's polyamorous. And that's funny, because Roman has a crush on Logan too," Virgil revealed. The two of them looked at each other and did a fangirl-ish squeal that only best friends could successfully do in sync.

"So, what are we doing for the channel?" Virgil questioned, motioning towards the camera.

"I figured we could just talk about like, how we became friends and stuff. This how thing feels unreal, and I kinda want a video to look back on so I remember how I felt during all this."

Virgil quickly agreed, and without a word, Patton started the camera.

"Hey Kiddos, welcome to my channel: eat a second cookie! Today, I have my friend with me. I've talked about him on my channel before, but this is the first time I actually have him here in person. Please welcome, Virgil!" Patton spoke in an enthusiastic voice, motioning towards Virgil, who waved awkwardly. There was a beat of silence before Patton nudged him.

"Here's where you plug your tumblr and stuff," Patton instructed, breaking the silence.

"Oh," Virgil laughed at himself, "Uh, follow me at anxiousbabey on everything."

Just like that, the two filmed an unscripted video, talking about the first time they talked, telling quite a few stories. It all lead up to the end of the recording, where they talked about how they met.

"Now that we know we live so close, hopefully he'll be on my channel lots n lots. Right, Virge?"

Virgil giggled, nodding a bit. "I hope so! I'm really glad we realized this, I'm so happy y'all have absolutely no idea!"

"Well, I guess that's all for today kiddos! Bye princes, princesses, and enby royalty, please check out my tumblr and instagram, all under eat-a-second-cookie!" Patton held out the word 'cookie' so that his statement rhymed. He finished closing out the video, turning off the camera.

"Y'know, I've been waiting for the day we'd get to finally film a video together."

There was a second of silence before Virgil engulfed him into a hug. "I feel like my life was good before..and now it's perfect. I'm so glad this happened," Virgil mumbled.

"Let's go check on my nerd and your boyfriend," Patton caused Virgil to laugh, taking his hand softly and leading him down the stairs. Virgil didn't know why this act of affection made him blush, because he knew Patton was just generally affectionate, but his cheeks were definitely burning.

"Hey, Vee," Roman looked up from the laptop him and Logan were watching something on.

"Did you guys film anything?" Logan questioned softly, pressing the spacebar on the laptop and closing it.

"Yeah, just a video about like our friendship," Patton shrugged, taking his spot next to Logan. Logan automatically wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"That's surely gonna be an adorable video," Logan praised, and Patton smiled lightly. "So, you guys are welcome to stay for dinner, or even spend the night if you want to."

Patton nodded in agreement and excitement with Logan's statement. "Ro!" Virgil tapped his shoulder lightly, tilting his head, "Stay pleasee?"

"Is that your little voice I hear?" Roman teased, causing Virgil to pout lightly, shaking his head.

"Awe! I think it is," Patton cooed, "But, can you guys stay, pleasee?"

"I don't know," Roman sighed, "Virgil has work tomorrow."

"Okay? And I can give him a ride in the morning, seriously, you're welcome to spend the night."

Virgil gave puppy dog eyes, pouting to convince his carer. "Stop with the pouty face, I was gonna say yes anyways," he sighed, causing Virgil and Patton to cheer.

That night was gonna be fun.

A/N: There's gonna be a timeskip, like a one-month type gap, where the four leave the awkward stage and they're all kind of close. I don't wanna write all that out and I WANNA GET TO THE GOOD PART.

Tag list: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover @softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart

please ask/reach out if you wanna be added to the tag list

#ts logan #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #The Agere Channel Lamp AU #The Agere Channel AU #CALM #LAMP #Polysanders #ts agere

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pkmnjesus · 5 years

Text

⏪ P J’s PokéAni Rewind 2019

Hello, yes I’m still alive for those wondering or care at all :] Just been taking an indefinite leave from all my social media accounts (though you can still see me on Discord: PokémonJesus#2495) since mid-November going through some personal self-discovery journey...nobody misses me anyways. I’ll address that maybe in a future post, but let’s not make this about me...because RIGHT NOW it is time for my 4th annual year-end (and favorite) Tumblr tradition! 2019 was a stressful year for me personally (as you can tell I’ve been on and off here), and I appreciate all of the friends I’ve made within this fandom who’ve stuck with me through it. It was also the year of the successful launch of my new PokéAni exclusive side-blog @pokeaniepisodes where I would do my weekly episode blogging/screen-caps/GIFs for the #pokeani tag. Within the span of 10 months, I would gain over 1,000 followers! Thank you to those who have followed me there as well. Obviously due to my current circumstances, that has been put on halt as well after Sun & Moon ended. Apologies, but I’ll be back in 2020 hopefully. As for PokéAni, it was bittersweet as we bid Alola farewell with the Sun & Moon series ending heading into the next generation series. If you’re curious to hear what I have to say about the new series, well here’s your post! The Pokémon anime has officially wrapped up for this year with Ash & Go in the Hoenn region earlier today, in where he WON another tournament showing Go how it’s done! But now, it is time to highlight some of the best episodes (this post will be following the original Japanese release dates, but will still be using the English/game dub names for a universal understanding by all) I personally found noteworthy from each month. Without further ado, let’s take a look back at what the Pokémon anime had to offer in 2019. 1, 2, 3. LET’S GO!

JANUARY - Hello Hapu

The Poni Island adventures begin! And also, the road to Ash’s final grand trial to complete. This mini-arc started a very fun series of character-centric episodes among the main cast and their Pokémon while they were in the island without Professor Kukui’s guidance. From Sophocles’s Charjabug evolving to a Vikavolt, and Lana’s Popplio evolving to Brionne (plus getting Primarium Z!). But the highlight out of all of this was the character arc of the soon-to-be Poni Island Kahuna, Hapu! She was a stubborn trainer who didn’t want to interact with anyone or battle Ash. She eventually opened up to him and his friends slowly after getting back her stolen radishes from Team Skull (the first appearance of Plumeria as well). She was a key figure on the class’ expedition throughout Poni for their respective research projects, while Tapu Fini and her late grandfather keep an eye on her progress. Eventually when she did became Kahuna, Ash finally had his rightful battle with her for a grand trial. She didn’t gain only a new set of confidence, but a new set of friends too.

FEBRUARY - Mama Mallow makes us cry

As the group continues doing their personal research projects in Poni Island, and after Kiawe clears his own trial with Tapu Fini, we get a feels trip to Mallow’s past. Thanks to Tapu Fini’s mysterious mist that allows people to see the departed, Mallow relives her childhood days with her mother. We not only get a teary backstory of what Mallow said to her ill mother before passing away, but also Lillie & Gladion’s attempt to see their “deceased” father, Mohn. Mallow seeking proper closure, finally reunites with her mother in the mist as they spend as much time catching up with one another ever since their improper argument at the hospital. We then discovered that Bounsweet was actually caught by her mom before gifting it to Mallow as her first Pokémon...who is now a fully evolved Tsareena. There were a lot of good moments like seeing the Stoutland that (as if this wasn’t enough of a feels trip) help raised Ash’s Torracat when it was still a Litten, and that Mohn is nowhere to be found in the mist meaning that he’s still alive! Stoutland’s final gift to Torracat was upgrading its Ember move to eventually learning to use Fire Blast. But the most important thing about this episode, is that it teaches us to be grateful to our parents (or those who raised us) even when it looks like they don’t seem to care, we misunderstand and overlook how much they truly care for us. Never take things for granted and live in the moment. In the end, Mallow’s mom gave her one final gift before going back to the afterlife, a Shaymin to care for. Thanks mom :’)

MARCH - Ya boi is never too late!

All we can just say when he was first announced was...finally...or about time! Team Skull boss Guzma’s long awaited appearance in the Pokémon anime happened when he and the rest of his gang visited the Pokémon School to confront Professor Kukui. After hearing about the official announcement that the first Alola League was going to happen, Guzma is determined to eliminate everything for what it stands for. Meanwhile, everyone in Alola wanted to get in on the action for an opportunity to become a champion, that includes Ash who stood up to Guzma for Kukui. After wiping the floor with Team Rocket, Guzma battles Ash taking interest with his utilization of the Z-Power Ring. Despite newly perfecting Corkscrew Crash, it had almost no damage on Guzma’s Golisopod. As the battle rages on, Golisopod’s Emergency Exit activates when Pikachu starts to get an upper hand. A stubborn Guzma not wanting to admit what really happened leaves and berates Ash as he sends a clear message on his vow to destroy the Alola League. Guzma and Kukui went face-to-face before Team Skull left, and it’s clear that his intentions were more personal. There’s always a reason behind of it all, and Guzma was seeking for vengeance.

APRIL - Mohn is missing

After discovering that their father may still be alive (as mentioned in my February highlight), Lillie and her family are searching for answers with the help of the Aether Foundation. Lusamine then confesses to her kids about an Ultra Wormhole incident that caused Mohn to disappear. As they continue to get more info, they stumble upon Mohn’s room and discovered two very important treasures. A Z-Ring which he used to wear, and a Magearna that doesn’t seem to be responsive. Lillie decides to wear and use her Z-Ring until her father is found, while also finding away to bring the Magearna he left back to life. With the blessing of Kahuna Hala and her friends’ support, she deicides to finally put her Icium-Z to good use by practicing the Subzero Slammer Z-move with Snowy now that she finally has a Z-Ring at hand. She fails at her first attempt, it won’t keep her down from practicing until she gets it right. The episode ends on a very touching note with Lillie reading an entry from her father’s old journal revealing that Mohn did in fact bought an inactive Magearna in hopes to restore it to give it to his one and only daughter as a gift <3

MAY - Lana’s lure of fate

In one of my personal favorite episodes (totally not because she’s my favorite and the best girl), I got shut up for even doubting that her Brionne would evolve this soon (don’t you just hate it when anime previews spoil?). Lana finally decides to make her dream a reality (referenced in previous episodes) to hook a Kyogre at sea! With the help of Ash, they were able to track down a Kyogre that suddenly appeared while the class were fishing. When they discovered that the Kyogre had been poisoned by Pokémon hunters, Lana decides to cure it with an antidote hooked to a special Misty lure she had been given while Ash deals with the troublemakers. Even after curing the poison, the hunters attempting to catch Kyogre made it rage even more. Lana tries to save it by trying to hook him out of the Hunter’s capturing device. She was successful in freeing it but ended up dragging her to the ocean rapidly as a storm develops from an angered Kyogre. And it was at that moment when Brionne wanted to save her trainer from getting dragged all over, evolving to Primarina was the only way to end this perfect storm. Primarina’s singing calmed down Kyogre, as Lana lifts up her rod graciously with Kyogre in the sky. Dream achieved, and a moment has been made with new sea friend. Now when Lana tells this story, it’s actually the truth and there will be no one laughing now! Later on another episode, Lana & Primarina would learn how to use and master the Oceanic Operatta Z-move, and it’s all thanks to the hook of this Kyogre. I’m sure Misty is proud as well :)

JUNE - Kid Kukui and Little Litten

There’s a Celebi in this episode...you know what that means. Back to the past! While Ash was training with his Pokémon for the Alola League, a Celebi stumbles upon them and transport Ash & Torracat to the same place where they were at, but only many years ago. They meet this little kid that had Litten with him and it was clearly obvious that his was younger Kukui and his (The Masked Royal’s) Incineroar who hasn’t evolved yet. However, Ash still had no idea he was in the past and treated little Kukui like any other kid he’d meet traveling. The two bond throughout the episode with their similar attitude when it comes to battling, and Ash gladly guided the little kid on executing Z-moves with their Pokémon. The two even worked together assisting a Totem Trevenant in sheltering all the nearby Pokémon as a rainstorm approaches. Thanks to the good heart of Ash helping out everyone, he receives his own Firium Z from the same Trevenant that gave Kukui his Firium Z. He eventually gets back to his timeline where it seemed to have an effect on the present day Kukui. If it wasn’t for that meeting, maybe the professor would’ve had his vision of forming an Alola Pokémon League if it wasn’t for that mysterious older boy he met with his Torracat. A Pokémon time paradox? Maybe...but what I loved about this story is that it repeats itself for the next episode but from the perspectives of Ash’s Pokémon that were left behind in hopes of finding their trainer. Really reminds me of that time Pokémon got separated from their trainers during S.S. Anne arc in the original series, only difference is that the perspectives of the trainers and Pokémon were happening at the same time. But you gotta love a pure whacky Pokémon adventure! Pretty much like a Pikachu short you see before movies.

JULY - Let the League begin!

The moment everyone has been waiting for...the Alola League has officially begun! With everyone prepared to unleash their Z-Power, it’s time for the qualifying round to start. Unlike previous Leagues, this starts off with a free-for-all Battle Royal with a total of 151 competitors but only 16 will advance to the next round. Most of the trainers in this League are recognizable characters if you have watched Sun & Moon in its entirety up to this point. From Mina to Kahili to Acerola to the entire Team Skull gang to Hiroki and even Pikala, every Alola character is here! While all the Island Kahunas serves as the officials for the event. It was fun way to kick-off a 4-month long League arc and they couldn’t have it done any other way. The top 16 has been decided and it gave us good match-ups to follow in the next couple of episodes such as, Mallow vs. Lana, a childhood friend clash which also tests Mallow’s courage in battling. Our favorite Team Rocket duo in disguise facing off against one another (can’t remember when was the last time we saw that). A sibling battle and a trial on how far Lillie has gone as a Pokémon trainer facing off against her strong big brother, Gladion. And of course, the friendly birby rematch between Ash and Hau. The line-up of matches is stacked! I could not remember how hyped I was for this long-awaited League arc. Some battles might’ve been short and quick, but every participant mattered! How can you not love the Sun & Moon series?

AUGUST - The Alola Final Four

And then, there were four. In the semi-finals bracket, we first have Gladion facing off against Kiawe who defeated Acerola and bested a friend in Sophocles. He’s pretty much the dark horse in this, but he’s been working hard all series with his battling to get to this point. As Lillie and Mimo (Hoshi) cheer on their big brothers, it was Gladion who got the upper hand and the two exchange in a very meaningful handshake of sportsmanship. Meanwhile on the other side of the semi-finals, Guzma, who blasted through Ilima and Lana, getting his rematch with Ash seeking for retribution after his soft defeat the last time they faced off. It was a clash of personalities as the Team Skull boss vows to get to Kukui by destroying someone who resembles him in Ash and get a big W for his fellow Team Skull outcasts. This battle was more than just advancing through the semi-finals but also the integrity of what the League will become if Guzma is successful in his ploy. Guzma was very aggressive during this match to the point of even scolding his Golisopod. But when you mad, you don’t focus well and that became Guzma’s downfall eventually resulting in his defeat against Ash who battled with his heart. Guzma had to learn the hard way, maybe softened his mindset a bit, but even after losing Plumeria and the rest of the grunts still want to be by his side improving their own skills in battle to be like their fearless leader. You never see a heartwarming ending for a “villainous” team in Pokémon before, but I think Team Skull had their own happy ending.

SEPTEMBER - The “Curse” is finally broken

Ash vs. Gladion. Here we go, the League finals to determine the inaugural champion of Alola. I mean I already made solo-post last September about how BIG this episode/moment was for our capped hero. Their rivalry has been amazing from the get-go. From their first meeting at the beach by Kukui’s place with a feisty Rockruff that wanted to battle, to the Manalo Stadium battling for a prestigious championship title with Ash’s Lycanroc fully controlled over its rage with dirt. It wasn’t a full battle, but 3-on-3 showdown served us one heck of battle! It may not be considered the best by many, but it was still an amazing and fun bout between two trainers who promised each other to meet in the finals of the big stage. The laugh they shared, the flashbacks that was shown to us (with the awesome Type: Wild! music playing in the background), and the storytelling of who wants it more makes you get to the edge of your seat, cheering for Ash to finally win a major Pokémon League. Ash’s newly evolved Melmetal showcased it’s new strength but still wasn’t able to beat Gladion’s Silvally. Then, when Zoroark and Pikachu knocked each other out, it was the 1v1 Lycanroc battle that really put this friendly and competitive rivalry full circle.

Ash has NEVER defeated Gladion...until this moment. He’s been training for this, and it finally paid off. The two Lycanroc’s took no prisoners and went back and forth with one another. In the final blow of that match, Gladion’s Lycanroc used Counter against Ash’s Lycanroc that was charging towards it, but then our big brained hero fights back with their own Counter attack. Never have I heard of Countering a Counter in the Pokémon universe, but using it in this one moment nobody expects, it was the HYPEST way to swerve fans from almost losing the match but ultimately gave an epic counterattack that would knock out Gladion’s Lycanroc. And for the first time since the Orange League, Ash is a Champion. Only this time it is a way bigger deal! Mostly because this is a game-based series which has more meaning when it comes to the Pokémon League.

Old fans, new fans, and casual viewers a like were buzzing within 24 hours after this episode released in Japan that caught mainstream media attention. People who have never seen a Pokémon anime episode in their life (or a subbed episode for that matter) past the original series, wanted to see how this episode went down to see a childhood hero achieve a major trophy. This is how big of a pop-culture icon Ash & Pikachu was among many generations of fans since the show’s launch internationally. This was truly THE PokéAni moment of 2019. Again, big congratulations to our Alola Champion, Ash Ketchum/Satoshi! Too bad Guzzlord had to ruin the closing ceremony afterparty...

OCTOBER - A fiery full final battle

So after becoming Alola Champion, sending three Guzzlords back to where they came from, reuniting with Poipole who evolved into a Naganadel, and The Masked Royal’s identity publicly revealed as Professor Kukui ALL IN THE SAME NIGHT! We finally get our exhibition match between Ash and The Masked Royal, who would like to go under his real identity. This is the final battle, and the promised reward the first Alola Champion gets. This is honestly also reward to the fans giving us one final hoorah for the Alola region with a full 6-on-6 Pokémon battle! I believe this is the only full battle we got to see in Alola and it was definitely worth the anticipation and surprise. Kukui had a lot of secret Pokémon up his sleeve that the viewers don’t know about (unless you get spoiled by freakin’ Oha Suta), and it is also the first and only official battle that Naganadel will be part of under Ash’s team. So the excitement levels of this fun 5-PART episode battle were off the roof! Kukui had amazing Pokémon that he kept a secret, but what I do want to focus in this spotlight is the showdown between Incineroar and Torracat. Just like with the Lycanroc duel, these two have similar stories with Torracat never being able to beat The Masked Royal/Kukui’s Incineroar. Ever since it was still a Litten, the desire to battle strong opponents still burns inside. As the two fiery cats clash in this epic battle, both sides have the same intensity when receiving and taking attacks.

As the battle worn out, both Kukui and Ash activated their Z-Rings together to use Inferno Overdrive against each other. After a gigantic explosion from the Z-move collision it was Torracat who was the last Pokémon standing finally beating its personal battle rival. After a victory screech, I was surprised as everyone seeing it fully evolve into Incineroar. Unfortunately, that evolution took a toll on the newly evolved Pokémon and is unable to continue further. Rest well big kitty, you beat who you wanted to beat and deserve a good rest.

As if that wasn’t epic enough, in the final phase of this full battle, Tapu Koko steps in and serves as Kukui’s last Pokémon and even granting both parties to be able to use Z-moves once again. Fast forward, Ash and Pikachu finally defeated their first opponent when they first set foot in the Alola region with the Z-Ring Tapo Koko gave them in the first place. It clearly now knows that Ash was a worthy holder of using Z-Power and a Champion that everyone can look up to. What a battle. What a series. Thank you Alola. Thank you Sun & Moon.

NOVEMBER - Pikachu Origins

Enter the next chapter. The new era of the Pokémon anime finally launched this in a very different way. The first episode basically serves as the prequel to the Pokémon anime series before Ash had set out on his quest to become a Pokémon Master. Long story short, we can Pikachu’s background story on how he came to be the loving mascot recognized everywhere on paper. I mean who would’ve thunk it? I just love the fact that we’re getting an origin story of how Ash’s Pikachu when it was still a wild Pichu. Although it wasn’t explained how Professor Oak ended up catching the little guy, Pikachu always had a good heart (you know despite rejecting Ash at first lol). The most adorable thing about this episode was the family bond Pichu temporarily shared with this little Kangaskhan family. The little guy was an outcast not really sure where to go or what to do except survive and find food. When that Kangaskhan picked him up as if it was one of its babies, and gained a new caring sibling in the process. It was a wholesome story of calling someone family even though there is no blood relation. Pichu was literally not their kind, but they still loved him as it was them!

Meanwhile, we get a little preview of our new characters from seeing their childhood and setting up the premise for them to cross paths with Ash in the future. The newest protagonist, Go, was a little know-it-all about Pokémon, and he sure bragged a lot of his knowledge on it during one of Professor Oak’s camp (in which Ash failed to wake up for). Along with his worrisome friend, Koharu, they spotted a Mew while going off course in Oak’s tour around their campsite. It would also be the saving grace of the lost baby Kangaskhan who accidentally fell off a cliff after attempting to play with the Mew. After seeing Mew’s psychic abilities, it was clear for Go that he needed to catch Mew one day. This is the initial goal that Go wanted to set out for when he’s old enough.

After the incident with his Kangaskhan sibling, Pichu had to re-think if he wants to continue being a part of a pack that he doesn’t even properly belong it in the first place. When the herd of Kangaskhan took shelter in cave during heavy rain, Pichu had to make a tough decision and leave his foster family behind while they were asleep because he knew that the mother Kangaskhan would not let go of someone who it sees as a child of her own. Pichu knew that was the only way, but despite his sad decision he was grateful for the happiness they provided for a lone wolf Pokémon that wandered in the wild looking belong somewhere. It was that same happiness that gave Pichu the strength to evolve to the Pikachu we all know today, and found a forever home with a certain tardy boy a couple of years later that they both formed an inseparable friendship.

DECEMBER - The Great Gigantamax in Galar

Of course, you can’t have a new series without showing off a new region?! As our “research fellows” Ash & Go continue their exploration in the Galar region learning more about the Dynamax phenomenon that causes Pokémon to grow bigger in size, they are about to be in for one gigantic dilemma. They had some trouble when they met a bunch of trickster Pokémon in those Nickit and a dirty Scorbunny trying to steal their food, but that wasn’t the last they saw of that Scorbunny. When they took the train to explore the Wild Area, Scorbunny secretly tagged along in hopes to be partners with Go after feeling a connection with the trainer during their first encounter. After MANY attempts of trying get Go’s attention, he finally notices Scorbunny after it kicks a rock to knock down fruit on top of a Snorlax they were observing (that hits Ash’s head first oof). Scorbunny attempts to get caught by Go, but he declined due to his vow for Mew to be his first catch. After the sad rejection, red lights then start to surround the Snorlax that ended up Dynamaxing it to Gigantamax Snorlax! This caused a big road blockage that affects a train line in that area. Ash, Pikachu, Go and Scorbunny decide to team up and move the Snorlax before the next train comes by to avoid a disaster from happening. Ash and Pikachu were able to cut down a big fruit from the Gigantamax Snorlax’s body and pass it on to Go and Scorbunny to make sure he jumps (just like earlier from Scorbunny’s accidental fruit pick) for that fruit in time for the train to pass by without anyone getting hurt. It was a tough task getting all the way up to the belly of beast, but thanks the Double Kick boost Scorbunny gave that big fruit, Snorlax not only moved in time for the next train to stop by, but return back to normal (big) size.

Unfortunately, Scorbunny was also swallowed in that big gulp, but it was a good thing that Snorlax didn’t munch it all the way. After the teamwork Go felt with Scorbunny during all that, he decides to modify his dream a bit and wants Scorbunny to now be his first Pokémon catch. Both are happy to be with one another, and we all know this was going to be the start of wonderful friendship. With this addition to the group, the main cast for the new anime series is now fully-set. Let the true adventures around the Pokémon world begin!

Some honorable mentions…

2019 for PokéAni marked an end of an era, but a start of a new one too! No doubt one of the most impactful years the show has had in the world since the XY&Z arc. Besides the historic Alola League, we also saw the continuation of Brock & Misty’s trip to Alola (not to mention Brock & Olivia’s adorkable interactions together), the class’ crash-course golf lessons with none other than Kahili! Ash catching a rare Meltan that appeared out of nowhere, The Sparkling Trio of Mallow, Lana & Lillie uniting as Alola DrinKyun (’Refreshing Trio: Alola Idols’ in the English dub), Ash challenging Ryuki’s Kantonian Gym, the high-speed Vikavolt race, Mallow’s vision in opening her Pokémon café, Matori’s unexpected visit to the Team Rocket base in Alola, and let’s not for get about the Ultra Guardians finishing up their final missions in capturing the remaining UBs: Pheromosa and Kartana. And honestly, after seeing all of Sun & Moon, can everyone just agree that Kukui is the BEST Pokémon professor?!

Of course, how can I not mention the final episode of Sun & Moon? In what was probably one of the most emotional farewell episodes in the anime’s history. If you don’t have bias from the original goodbye with Brock & Misty in Johto, this would probably be the best one. It was executed perfectly with Ash’s class figuring out what to do in the future with Ash himself not sure what to do moving forward. Naganadel had to return back to its homeworld, the Rockets had to say leave their Alola Pokémon with Bewear as she sends them off one final time, Nebby returns to see Ash one final time, and Lillie decides to search for her father away from Alola after brining Magearna to life. With everyone deciding what to do, Ash heads back home to explore the world (which transitions to the new series) leaving all his Alola Pokémon behind in Kukui’s lab, while Rotom Dex decides to work for the Aether Foundation. The boat scene with Lillie was a good touch on how her character evolved thanks to Ash’s help, and the departing airport scene with Kukui, Burnet, and Ash group hugging was touching. Even Ash teared up as he gets in the air leaving Alola as his friends and Pokémon he left behind wave goodbye. If that wasn’t a good send off for the Sun & Moon series, Mallow’s Shaymin finally achieved its Sky Forme (which have her mother’s eyes...could be a touching symbolism that she was always watching her ;_;) from a Gracidea flower before taking off, AND ON TOP OF THAT, the final shot of the series no less, we find out that Professor Burnet is pregnant. Never in the history of this anime has ever done that to a major character in the supporting cast. The Sun & Moon series continues to break ground as one of the best Pokémon series.

Other than that, we got the new series (which I still wish we had a proper sub-title for -_-) giving us a taste of what to expect in the new Generation VIII era. Our newly appointed research fellows, Ash & Go are at Professor Sakuragi’s Institute helping with his research along with Mimey and Koharu helping out with the household chores. Lugia brought these two together, and are now living under the same roof. And, can we talk about Mimey?! I’m so glad a classic character from this anime is being used as a permanent supporting character for this series. Not to mention that he battled alongside Ash in the Hoenn tournament and won! It’s also refreshing to see updated animation within Kanto where they’re home base is at, and I absolutely cannot wait for them to go back to other regions with this fresh new art style. With Go’s goal to catch every Pokémon there is for him to index, he’s bound to meet Mew again one day! He’s literally every Pokémon games’ protagonist and I’m glad we have a main character like him who actually focuses on catching them all. As for Ash, he’s still our Ash carving his own unique path on his continuing journey to become a Pokémon Master because it’s more than being the strongest trainer and more than just catching Pokémon. I’m going to take his word for it! I don’t know if you noticed, but Go kinda looks up to him a bit due to his experiences in battle. Just look how shy he was just wanting to be his friend. You just gotta love it when they make Ash this mentor-type friend especially now coming off a huge victory in the Alola League becoming a champion.

Overall, the Sun & Moon anime gave us a variety of different set of stories every week leading up to the anticipated Alola League. Everyone had a story to tell building up to the Alola League, and just look at the list of episodes we’ve had this year that went back and forth with characters that get a main focus other than Ash (or even Lillie). Most of these episodes I’m talking about are either development for a Pokémon in their team evolving, or a perfecting a Z-move with their respective Z-Crystals. This shows much the writers care about each main character gets enough screen-time before they’re ready to take on the League with Ash. If you are still thinking on whether or not to continue/finish watching the series if you haven’t yet, I would still recommend to please watch until the end! It’s a really fun ride to sit through it all in my humble opinion, unless you want to just bolt straight into the League episodes only caring about Ash’s story. You do you. As for the new series, it will definitely pick up the pace sooner or later with the initial episodes are setting up to lead into something bigger. If you aren’t hooked in yet, definitely be patient because I’m expecting a lot of good opportunities for them to pull off in this cross-region based format. Sure it isn’t based 100% on the latest games in the franchise Sword & Shield, but that’s what separates the anime and the games. The anime is doing its own thing with an original story, but I’m pretty sure they will mix-in some of the interesting storylines and feature important characters from Sword & Shield every time they revisit Galar because it’s the new region on the block. They should feature/market a lot of episodes from all the new content Galar has. So I would definitely still keep my eyes on the Pocket Monsters series 👀

And there you have it! This post as long as it already is, so I’ll stop here. If you’ve read everything I had to say (maybe a few typos here and there lol), then thank you for your time! Feel free share your own favorite PokéAni moment 2019 with a reblog or a reply if you choose to do so. Thanks so much for an amazing year, and it’s time for us to GO to 2020. More moments await for us, and maybe even some surprises we might see since Ash is returning to previous regions he already visited in the past. See everyone in 2020 for the first full year of the new ‘Pocket Monsters’ series. Let’s go (with Go heh) and have some fun! Yes, I think used the word ‘go’ here too many freakin’ times lol

Happy New Year to all my followers, and the rest of the Pokémon fandom!

If you haven’t seen these yet, and you are new to my blog, check out all the previous year-end PokéAni Rewinds I did in the past: 2016 | 2017 | 2018

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astrid-goes-for-a-spin · 4 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Flash (TV 2014) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen/Iris West Characters: Iris West, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Zoom, Hunter Zolomon, Hunter Zolomon | Jay Garrick, Henry Allen Additional Tags: superIris, Iris has Powers, Metahuman Iris West, BAMF Iris West, Women Being Awesome, Episode: s02e21 The Runaway Dinosaur, Episode: s02e22 Invincible, Season 2, Season 2 feels, Canon Divergence, Henry Allen Lives, Everybody Lives, no Flashpoint, Iris defeats Zoom, Happy Ending Series: Part 6 of Iris Week 2020 Summary:

Iris Week 2020 Day 6! SuperIris! @iriswestallenweek

At first, Iris doesn’t even notice that something’s changed. That she has powers. That she’s no longer just a run-of-the-mill human.

Everything is overwhelming – Barry’s lost in the speed force, Jesse’s in a coma, Tony Woodward is sorta back to life and still has a crush on her. It takes her until she and Barry are standing in the cemetery before she starts to realize that all the feelings she’s been feeling…might not actually be hers.

Iris is affected by Harry's particle accelerator explosion and gains empathy powers. Iris defeats Zoom.

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full text for the tumblr crowd!

At first, Iris doesn’t even notice that something’s changed. That she has powers. That she’s no longer just a run-of-the-mill human.

Because Barry is talking so nostalgically about the little board book he brought his mom’s stone, and even though Iris knows that book always made her irritated and sad, she’s feeling a little teary and –

“I never really liked that book,” Iris says, and Barry turns watery eyes to her. “But, right now? I feel like I’ve loved it forever.”

“Why?” Barry asks, and she takes his arm.

“Because neither of us had a mom,” Iris says, and feels, almost like a physical wave, the emotions coming from Barry’s body to hers: sadness, tenderness, pure and absolute love. She steps away from him and drops his arm, and his worry comes to her more slowly, like a cloud rolling in.

Iris would go wait in the car, but they ran here. Iris takes a deep breath and tries to block everything out.

“I’ll give you a minute,” Iris says finally, and gives herself space under the guise of giving Barry a moment in private. The further she moves from him, the less intensely she feels the worry, the heartbreak, the distraction. Iris takes a breath. It’s raining (her hair, oh god) and the cemetery is empty. She’s always been good at reading other people’s energy, but the room is – quite literally – dead.

When Barry takes them back to the house later, Iris waits until he changes out of his nice clothes, and then she sits him down on the sofa away from the noise of her dad and her brother in the kitchen.

“I think I have powers,” Iris says baldly.

Barry stares at her like he’s never seen her before.

“I was in the city when the accelerator went off in 2013, I was in the lab two days ago, I got mixed up with the speed force – I’ve been exposed to all the stuff that’s not supposed to exist. X-elements.”

Barry’s mouth is hanging slightly open. “Y-you mean-”

Iris takes a breath. “I can feel you. Your fear. Your guilt. Your sadness. I didn’t realize it right away because everything was so hectic, but – I’m pretty sure those aren’t my feelings.”

In less than a second Barry flashes away and back, and her hair flutters into her face. She wipes it away, and he’s fiddling with Harry’s watch. Fear and dread pouring off him, Barry silently offers the watch to her.

Iris’s hand passes over the face of the watch, and

everything

changes.

In the five-or-so minutes Cisco and Caitlin find in the next week, they confirm what Iris already knows: Harry’s oh-so-safe particle accelerator explosion that literally ripped Barry apart also washed Iris in dark matter. Her previously human DNA is different in one tiny but significant way: the metahuman gene.

Iris knows that if they weren’t facing down an army of supervillains from another world, if the CCPD weren’t operating out of a coffeeshop because their precinct is Zoom’s new HQ, if it was literally any other time, she’d be subjected to a battery of tests, be down in the basement training to learn what her powers can do and how to keep them under control.

As it is, the city’s barely surviving Zoom’s onslaught, and there’s just no time.

Barry’s new, post-speed force attitude isn’t really helping the situation, either.

Iris is still trying to get a grip on her new, fledgling powers, but she doesn’t think she’d need them to understand this. Barry is happy-go-lucky, upbeat, bursting with optimism; the speed force is with us. Iris can feel it from the moment Barry’s within a hundred yards of her, and she can’t help it: she’s slightly giddy with positivity.

On the other hand, the rest of Team Flash is terrified by the Metapocalypse and the lingering threat of Zoom, and that Barry’s optimism will be the death of him. (And the world.) Iris can’t help but notice her range for Barry is a lot farther than the others – but simply sharing a room with her dad can make her subdued and anxious.

It doesn’t make Iris feel better that the press is hardly helpful in this situation. Or at least, not as helpful as the rest of the team. She’s not exactly part of the news media producing the endless loop on TV telling citizens to stay in their homes.

Without complete solitude – an impossibility right now – it’s also hard for her to know what she’s really feeling – apart from her friends and family. If she could be sure her feelings were her own, would she still feel this worried? Or this blissfully confident? (Or both?)

Which feelings are right?

When Barry comes back to STAR Labs with blood crusting his ears and neck because an evil Laurel Lance would’ve killed him if Wally hadn’t run her over, Iris knows the majority has been right all along. No matter how Barry feels, the danger is real, and he needs to act that way.

The right ones are whatever feelings that’ll keep him alive.

Iris trails him into the medbay and plops down on the gurney. “You know you’re not invincible, right?”

Barry’s removing his gloves, but he gives her a little laugh and a patronizing sigh. “Yes. Of course I know this.”

Iris wonders how long it’ll take before it’s impossible for him to lie to her at all. His words tell her he agrees, but his heart tells her that they can survive anything.

“Joe’s being overprotective, but I get it,” Barry says, leaning against a cabinet.

Iris scoots a little on the bed, untangling her crossed legs. “Yeah, but you’re acting like nothing can touch you. Like nothing bad can get in your way.” Iris taps her heart. “And worse, I can tell you actually believe it. And it’s just not true for any of us.”

Barry seems sobered by the reminder that Iris – isn’t the same as she used to be. When he says, “What are you trying to say?” Iris thinks, He’s going to listen to me. He always listens to me. No one else has been able to get through to him, this time.

“I know you had an experience in the speed force. I saw some of it. I can still feel it on you now,” Iris starts, and holds out a hand to him, gesturing him close. “And I’m happy that you think we’re gonna win the day, but a little fear can be a healthy thing. It helps you determine which risks are worth taking.”

Barry swallows dryly, only feet away from her now. Separated by the wall from the Cortex, Iris is zeroed in on him in a way she hasn’t been since they were at Nora Allen’s grave. She can feel her words sinking into his buoyant mood.

When he nods and gets up to pass her, though, Iris can feel it all melting off, untouchable. She’s still holding her hand out.

He reaches out to rub it once in reassurance, and –

It’s like nothing Iris has ever felt before.

All of Iris’s worry, her fear, her helplessness, her terror for Wally and Barry and her father, her dim hope for a future after Zoom has ravaged the city: she’s exploding with emotion, and the moment Barry touches her, her feelings seep out of her skin and into his.

Barry staggers back as if impacted by a physical blow. His eyes flick up to hers, wide. She can feel his positivity sagging, supplanted by the caution Iris is impressing into him. Somehow, she’s actively changing the way he feels – and not the old-fashioned way.

She takes her hand away.

Barry’s eyes are slightly glazed. “Are you okay?” they ask at the same time, their words overlapping. Iris is nodding, but Barry is shaking his head.

“Is this how you’ve been feeling?” he asks, voice pitched high. “All the time? That was-”

“Really intense,” Iris finishes. “Yeah. I haven’t figured out a way to turn it off yet.” If she wasn’t so busy with Zoom’s army, she’d be afraid she never will. “And I definitely didn’t know I could – do that.”

Barry sits beside her on the bed and deliberately sets his hands on either side of her shoulders and rubs up and down. With each stroke, his optimism is tempered by her fear.

When someone calls for them from the Cortex, Iris takes his wrist once and closes her eyes, just to impress her feeling – caution! – one final time, hoping that her warnings aren’t hopeless.

This is how much we love you.

Maybe Barry is actually right, and the speed force is on their side. With Zoom gone and his army subdued, Iris thinks it’s high time for some family celebration.

Team Flash’s dinner party mood is almost as good as Barry’s has been for days, and Iris feels high on it – even more when Barry asks if – since he’s been feeling “extra invincible” – this would be a good time to give them a shot. (It is, it really is.)

Iris organizes people bringing food in from the kitchen while the others gossip, and she leads Henry into the dining room by an elbow and settles him at Barry’s side with a champagne glass.

And then there’s a pulse of terror, absolute and overwhelming, from the other side of the table, and she looks up to see Cisco’s post-vibe face, mouth gaping. The happiness abates. Iris can feel the tension straining across the room. People demanding answers. Cisco cries out, “Tell me I did not just see the end of the world!”

Iris can’t really imagine anything worse than an entire planet breaking, splitting in half from pole to pole, a whole world she’s never seen but has been so determined all year long to protect –

– a rush of hate and malice so cold Iris almost doesn’t recognize what it is. Sadism. A power-hungry cruelty. The bitterest spite. The fear in the room jumps; terror and helplessness all around her.

Two steps away from her, Zoom has Henry’s throat in his claws.

Barry’s fear is quickly turning into rage, a kind of rage Iris didn’t need powers to understand during all the years he hunted the Reverse-Flash. She can see him thinking, calculating how fast he needs to move in order to save his dad’s life.

Iris doesn’t think.

She feels.

Zoom never notices her hand, so fixed on Barry, the only threat, the only other speedster in the room. Barry is on the other side of her, but Iris is within arm’s reach, and her hand comes down on Zoom’s shoulder with what she knows must be suffocating force.

Iris still isn’t thinking. She isn’t calculating. She’s remembering all of the pain that Zoom has brought with him this year, with an intensity that she feels may make her heart explode.

Caitlin, hostage on another earth, at his mercy.

Jesse gone and Harry frantic with fear.

The endless lines of metahumans Zoom threw through the breaches to try to kill her family.

Larkin, who did not deserve to die the way he did, and Linda’s terror and pain – both Lindas.

Barry and Cisco gone through the breach, Barry shaking on the staircase as he confided to them the manner of the other Joe’s death.

Jesse, hanging from manacles and sleeping in her own blood and filth.

The prisoner Barry promised to rescue that they still haven’t gotten around to.

Barry’s nightmares.

Iris having to shoot a gun at another person, a person with her friend’s face.

Barry, broken like a doll, dangling from his grip on live TV, blood leaking out of him.

Her brother, helpless and in pain, a pawn in a game he was never a part of, and the reckless do-gooding he’s throwing his life away for.

Barry, white as a sheet, half his body in a brace, unconscious in a hospital bed.

Barry, screaming as they injected him with poison and the particle accelerator tore his body apart.

All of these things broke Iris’s heart, shredded it until there was nothing left but she just kept bleeding.

These things caused her to bite her nails and wake in the night with blood in her mouth, answer her phone after a single ring, have panic attacks in the bathroom at work and cry with fear as she wondered what catastrophe would befall her loved ones next.

All of these things – so…

…avoidable.

Acts of a man who hated and hated, and turned that hate into dead bodies all across the multiverse so – what?

He could feel less alone?

Zoom’s grip on Henry slackens. Lightning raises the hairs on her arm; Barry reappears on the far side of her with his father in his arms. Iris puts her other hand right over Zoom’s heart, and in slow stages they crumple to the ground.

She’s on top of him, her flirty dress riding up, the awful wrinkly texture of Zoom’s suit vivid beneath her palms. Somewhere in the background Iris notices lines of burning moisture traveling down her face and splashing onto his.

“You’re not alone now, Hunter,” Iris says softly, sinking further onto Zoom’s body. He’s twitching, and Iris can feel the impact of what she’s doing to him starting to break something deep within him, even more than he’s already broken. “I’m here. I can feel everything you feel. I know what you want, and why. You wanted to hurt people. Well, you succeeded. You hurt my family. You hurt me.”

Pitifully, a noise that resolves itself into the words “It hurts” reaches Iris’s consciousness. She didn’t notice it at first because he’s stopped vibrating his vocal chords into that demonic voice. He just sounds like Jay.

He sounds human.

“You’re not gonna hurt anyone anymore,” Iris whispers, and Zoom lies still.

Barry races to STAR Labs and deposits Zoom in the anti-speedster cell: the only safe place, for right now. The whole way there and for a long while after, Zoom remains unresponsive.

“Can we inject him with the anti-speed serum?”

“He’d have to be running to take his speed away, like he did before-”

“Do you have a place you can keep metas incarcerated on Earth-2?”

All the questions – important, Iris is sure – fade into the background for her. Iris is sitting on the end of the bed again. She’s got a mug of coffee in her hands, a pair of STAR Labs sweatpants covering up her very cold, bare legs, and a shock blanket around her shoulders. Though she can tune out the questions, she still can’t manage the emotions. Her family is afraid, but hopeful. They’re in problem-solving mode. Zoom is contained, for the first time ever, and it’s extremely possible that Team Flash is gonna figure this out.

Iris jerks awake when Barry sets down next to her on the bed.

“How long was I out?” she asks, grabbing for him. He allows it, but no emotions flow from her. Iris wonders if it has to be an exceptionally emotional circumstance. Touching him now only makes her perception of his feelings stronger.

“A while. Caitlin gave you a sedative to help you recover. Jitters’ll be opening soon.”

Morning. Iris suppresses a groan at the memory of 5AM shifts, but smiles at the reminder that things are going back to normal after Zoom’s defeat.

“Did you figure out what to do with him yet?” she yawns.

Barry’s radiating a kind of calm sureness that makes the question almost irrelevant.

“We extracted the speed force in his system while you were resting. STAR Labs on Earth-2 will publicize his identity, and he’ll spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement. He won’t hurt anyone else. The random metas he forced into his army we’re sending back a few at a time to the Barry and Iris there, to see whether they’re criminals or just – unlucky. Harry’s bringing our dampening tech, too, so any of those meta-criminals that need to be locked up can be. It’s a good day.”

Iris smiles. “I can tell.”

Barry’s feeling shifts to something serious, introspective, and almost…reverent.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there,” he starts. “My dad-”

“He’s free, he’s alive, he’s here in the city, and he’s got his eye on Dr. McGee,” Iris laughs. “It’s okay. Maybe you were right all along. You are invincible.”

Barry takes a quick look at the rest of the team scattered through the lab, then whisks her away in his arms. Next moment they’re sitting on her dad’s front steps, and the whole world feels just as fragile as she knows it is, fresh with morning dew and sleeping as the sun is just beginning to rise.

“Not me. We’re invincible. I couldn’t have – none of this could have been without you, Iris. Believe me. You saved my dad. You saved Earth-2. Iris, Black Siren didn’t want to leave here because she insisted Zoom was going to destroy every earth with the stolen Mercury Labs tech, all in one shot. You saved the multiverse.”

Something is swelling, a depth of feeling Iris has often glimpsed, both in herself and Barry, but never had the courage to explore.

“Do I get a code name now?” Iris asks in a halfhearted attempt to play it off.

Barry huffs a laugh and sinks a hand into her hair. Somehow the fact that it’s sticky with old hairspray, pins long gone, doesn’t matter. Her smudged makeup and lab sweatpants under her fancy dress with no back and no bra doesn’t matter.

“I have never loved you more,” Barry murmurs as he gets closer.

Iris feels it like the sunrise. In response, she closes her eyes, takes his hand, and places it over her heart.

#iwaw2020 #iris week 2020 #iris west #superiris #iris has powers #westallen #season 2 #the runaway dinosaur #iris has empathy powers #iris defeats zoom all on her lonesome #bamf iris west

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makeste · 5 years

Text

some asks about BnHA 241 and 240 and then some random other asks

I agree with this completely, anon (especially given his attitude throughout the rest of the chapter), but I didn’t edit my initial response since I think there’s a good likelihood that he still deadpanned the line despite being 100% sincere. one could say he was Accidentally Sarcastic. anyways yeah, Todoroki Shouto is a disaster more at 11.

(but also, he’s totally right and Bakugou is in full-blown denial over their blossoming friendship. because he already decided that they’re Not Friends, and thus he has to actively work to maintain that status now. which Todoroki is making very difficult these days! can you fucking do your part to keep the fucking rivalry going, Icy-Hot?? can you at least try?? why does he have to do all the work. sometimes he forgets for a moment and Todo catches him off guard and he responds normally without thinking and doesn’t realize it until later, and god. why is everything and everyone so stupid.)

I have not forgotten (though I did mix up Pixie-Bob with Mandalay though woop)! and that annoyed me too. we only have like six female pros out there as it is. why do half of them (looking at you too, Midnight) have to be mildly sex-crazed. I know it’s not serious and they’re not actually being serious, but still, is it really asking so much to get some female pros whose eccentricities are less specifically tailored to common male fantasies. you’re a fucking hero Pixie-Bob! you’re a fucking earthbender and you’re hot as heck. why are you so worried about not being able to Get A Man. with Mt. Lady it at least fits more with her general personality from what we’ve seen, I guess. anyways, y’all know I love like 98% of this series, but this is part of the 2%, so. it is what it is.

Tomura is Endgame Thanos, a.k.a. the most sinister and most genuinely frightening of the Thanoses. this really isn’t on track to end well sob.

ah, my bad. (regardless, it was still dramatic af.)

I think she’s a six-year-old (?? she seems six-ish, idk) girl who was terrified of her father and trying to stay under his radar (which was frankly the smart thing to do based on what we’ve seen), and was trying to teach her younger brother how to do the same, and I don’t blame her at all for throwing Tenko under the bus (if that’s indeed what happened); I’m sure she just panicked and didn’t mean it. she’s just a kid. -- was just a kid. anyways she was super cute and would have made a fucking awesome hero, and her death is easily the one I’m still the most raw about out of that whole fucking nightmare. I’m not getting over that. I want her to still be alive; at one point I was convinced of a conspiracy theory that AFO had secretly spared her too (because two Shimura heirs to manipulate are better than one), and Tomura only believed that she was dead due to his fragmented memories. but that seems less likely post-chapter 236.

so yeah, I’m still very upset about this. she was good and kind and loved her brother and had a lot of spirit and she did not even remotely deserve what happened to her.

thank you so much!! one of the best parts of fandom is interacting with other people and reading everyone’s different takes and theories. lord knows I miss a lot of stuff when I read, even when I’m trying very hard to pay attention. so I love when other people point stuff out and bring up ideas I hadn’t thought about.

also! without exception, every single person I’ve ever interacted with in this fandom on tumblr has been polite and courteous and civil as fuck, even on the occasions when we disagree, and I absolutely can’t take credit for that. people are just cool. so thank you everyone. (and particular shoutout to @thequietmanno1, who for some reason I can’t tag, but whom this ask is almost certainly referring to specifically.)

lmao anon this made my fucking day. thank you!!

all right, here goes!

a) this is possible for sure in that as a rule, I never put anything past AFO, and I don’t doubt for a second he’d be capable of this. but, it would kind of suck though. specifically it would suck for Tomura, who’s only just starting to come into his own at long last, and who has gone through quite a lot to get to this point. like, that would be devastating to see him reduced to a literal puppet after all of that. and if it did happen, I don’t know what the odds would be of him actually being “saved” after that (All Might at least would try, but I can’t see anyone else being concerned enough to bother. well except for the rest of the League, come to think of it. that could be interesting), and I’d be really sad if that ended up being how he went out. these things usually don’t end up working out too well for the body snatchee.

plus, this also hinges on whether or not AFO is capable of transferring his quirk to Tomura’s body. if not, there’s no way he’d take the tradeoff, regardless of how powerful Tomura’s own quirk has become at this point. that would just be a really bad deal. like trading the cow for beans, except these ones aren’t even magic beans, just like. normal beans. but if he does have a way of transferring the AFO quirk, then yeah. although he could take anyone’s body then if that was the case, and I can think of a few targets who just might be even more tempting than his protege. All Might’s protege, for one. ...you know what, this line of thinking is starting to get a little too horrifying so let’s move on to the other theory lol.

(b) a few people have mentioned the Shimura Momo theory to me, but to be totally honest, I can’t see much of a logical basis for it other than them bearing a slight resemblance and having similar hairstyles. Inko has also been brought up as potentially being related to Nana for the same reasons. it’d be cool, no doubt, but for me, I need more evidence than just that. I just don’t see how this would advance the plot or the characters’ storylines in any meaningful way. I guess it could potentially tie Momo in more to the central plot, but it’d be kind of a weird way to do it, idk.

then again I’m one to talk, because until fairly recently I was on board with Hagakure of all people turning out to be a Shimura (Hana, to be specific). she’s the traitor, she’s invisible, we never did find out what Hana’s quirk was, and this would mean that Hana was still alive this whole time which would be GREAT, because seriously fuck you Horikoshi!! but yeah that doesn’t seem likely now either. dammit.

anyway, so I’ll just say that both of these theories are possible, but for me personally, in order to be sold on a specific theory I need to be able to see how it logically fits within the storyline and how it moves the story forward. like, Dabi being Todoroki Touya is something I’m 100% on board with, because that’s an established mystery in the series (who is Touya, what happened to him, who is Dabi, etc.), and Dabi fits into place with the evidence we have, and it gives us a lot of Todoroki drama and gives Endeavor and Shouto a personal connection to the Leagu... Pliff. but for something like the Momo theory, I would need there to be some indication that there’s a third sibling we don’t know about, and some hinting about there being more to Momo’s past than we know, and right now I don’t see either of those things, so it’s hard to get on board. hopefully that makes sense.

anon I really like that you phrased this as an inevitability lol. (and I am 100% on board.)

assuming this happens at the very end of the series, I like to think Tomura and the rest of his gang will manage to “escape” the heroes (“oh no... Tomura... he’s getting away... this is awful... somebody stop him” meanwhile no one is making even the slightest effort to move lol), at which point they will live the rest of their lives happily ever after as Lovable Outlaws and All-Around Scamps. like, maybe they’ll still commit some crimes, but they won’t be like serious crimes or anything. they’ll have more of a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, maybe. I want them to be happy and I don’t want them to go to jail even though they’re teeeeeeeechnically murderers, I GUESS (look, nobody’s perfect!!). but maybe they steal the occasional priceless artifact and inadvertently wind up saving the world. seems like the best compromise.

lol I don’t know what this means either. like in the way a Youtuber has their own brand?? or like Frito-Lays. idk all I really do is talk a lot about an extremely popular manga, so I don’t think that’d really count?? I’m fine with this just being a little tumblr discussion blog haha.

so I’ve gotten like a half dozen asks and messages about this lol. (someone actually told me a very specific detail about said past! so just to remind everyone, I’m spoiler-free on Vigilantes right now guys, I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun.) I regret to admit that I still have not yet gotten around to it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m having a lot of trouble reading new stuff right now. I tried to start the other new BnHA spin-off which @temperatezone told me about (and btw no I did not know about it, so thank you!!) (and also! BnHA has THREE SEPARATE FUCKING SPIN-OFFS right now, how fucking crazy is that. like, I don’t want to accuse a manga series of literally trying to take over the world, but!! seriously that’s just insane), which has an amazing premise, but I haven’t had time/been in the right mindset to start that yet either. it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. ;;

press f to pay respects to what could have been, guys. they literally had it all. class, an ironic acronym, you name it. and now it’s just PLF. the Iron Patriot of villain organization names.

#bnha #bnha 241 #bnha 240 #shigaraki tomura #all for one #yaoyorozu momo #shimura hana #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #bnha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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just-come-baek · 5 years

Text

Jewels 2 | final

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Themes: some angst with a sprinkle of fluff | adventure!au | archaeologist!reader | dodger!Jungkook

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: nothing greater than what happened in the first part

Summary: Nobody said it’s going to be easy, but when Jeon Jungkook, the handsome troublemaker, tags along on my adventure, my simple trip morphs into a life-threatening mission. I was to find an ancient necklace and gain fame in the archeology field, but thanks to Jungkook’s mischeif, we attracted lots of unnecessary attention and plenty of enemies.

A/N I don’t know if tumblr links work again, but if you want to read the first part, you just have to do that through my masterlist

I was royally screwed, and it was all Jungkook’s fault.

Though I was caught, and later on tied up, I just sat there, thinking of getting my revenge. I was aware it was pointless since it was apparent that the smugglers would either rape me and sell me off, or rape me and kill me afterward, but I just couldn’t help myself.

If only I could have a moment with Jungkook alone, if only I could put my hands on him, damn, I’d shred him into pieces. He had lied to me – multiple times, he had put my life in danger – also multiple times, and on top of that, that son of a bitch had stolen the necklace out of my backpack, stripping me of my secret weapon against these men.

They had brought me to their campsite sometime in the evening; now it was the middle of the night. I was freezing, the robe around my wrists was scratching my skin, and I was thirsty as hell. Too bad, the smugglers gave no shit about my needs. Once in a while, one of them would come to check up on me, but it wasn’t because they cared. They would glance at me, (read: eye-fuck me), say something in their language (probably life threats), and then leave.

I was their captive, and I hated every second of it, and frankly, making up ways of getting my revenge on Jungkook was the only thing that kept me away from going crazy. If I ever made it alive, Jungkook would wish to be dead.

Sometime before the dawn, I dozed off.

At least, I tried to doze off because as soon as I closed my eyes, feeling the embrace of sleep, one of the smugglers poured a bucket of ice-cold water on me, jolting me awake.

“What the fuck?” I yelled at him, but he just turned around and left without a word. “So gentlemanly of you,” I muttered, being overly irritable so early in the morning. Judging by my attitude and willingness to crack jokes, I must’ve been getting better.

A bit annoyed, I tried to wriggle. Unfortunately, my attempts to free myself were fruitless. I only scratched my skin some more.

I felt like a damsel in distress, and it didn’t sit right with me; especially when my knight in the shining armor was a lying motherfucker who had actually put me in this situation. Instead of helping me out, he had only attracted more trouble, and as soon as he had got a chance, he had run off with my necklace hidden in his pocket.

This whole situation was hysterical. I should’ve listened to my guts. There had always been a mischievous gleam in Jungkook’s eyes; why the fuck had I ignored it all the time?

My train of thought was interrupted by another smuggler. Unlike all the others, he was taller, and generally better groomed. He couldn’t be good news.

With his eyes fixated on me, he dragged a chair across the ground, placing it in front of me. His intense stare gave me chills, but I tried to play it cool; he attempted to intimidate me, but I had nothing to lose, so I decided not to give him that satisfaction.

The man said something in a rough voice, and though he sounded kinda sexy, it didn’t help me at all with comprehension. It seemed similar to French, but I don’t speak it, so I had absolutely no clue what he wanted to tell me.

A little annoyed with me, he stood up, grabbed my chin, and made me face him. Slowly, he was losing his patience, but no matter what, I wouldn’t magically start understanding him. At this point, I could only speculate what he meant, and though I wasn’t sure he probably said something along, “don’t get used to such luxuries, doll face. My men and I are going to fuck you senseless, and then we’re gonna sell you off as soon as we reach land.”

It was just a random guess, though.

When for the tenth time he didn’t get any reply from me, he also left.

The entire day no one stopped by to check up on me. I hadn’t eaten since the energy bar the day before, and now, my stomach was growling loudly. Too bad they wouldn’t understand my complaints regarding their poor hospitality.

It was my second day without food and water and sleep, and I could swear I was starting to have sound hallucinations. It was impossible, but my deprived mind was assured that the bushes around the campsite buzzed a faint “psst” at me.

The smugglers had better give me some food or else they’re going to sell a lunatic, and I was doubtful that they would get a large amount of money for someone in my state of mind.

I was on the verge of fainting at this point, but once again, I thought I saw something in the bushes. First, it hissed at me, and now, something moved.

Oh my God, it wasn’t a snake, was it?

Judging by the commotion it was making, it was a god damn big snake. Moreover, this time around, I didn’t have anybody to hide behind. I was tied to a fucking pole, completely defenseless. Even if I tried calling for help, these smugglers wouldn’t understand me.

Was it an anaconda? A Cobra? A boa?

When to come to think about it, I’d rather have the smugglers kill me. One clear shot to my head and it’s over. Who knew what symptoms I would get after the snake’s venom?

“Psst,” once again, I heard it, and it was enough for me to lose it. I started to wriggle like a lunatic, scratching my wrists until I felt the blood slowly oozing out of my fresh wound, the robe now digging into my flesh.

Cautiously, it left the bushes. Then it hit me. The creature wasn’t zigzagging across the ground as a snake would; it was a man trying to sneak into the campsite. After a few steps, I could see it was none other but my knight in shining armor – Jeon Jungkook.

What the hell was he doing here? Did he realize that leaving me was the greatest mistake that he has ever done? Questionable. If he came back, it had to mean that he had some serious trouble with getting out of the island.

“Shh…” Jungkook whispered when he approached me. “Everything is going to be alright,” he added, but I didn’t believe him. It was beyond evident that his intentions of rescuing me weren’t pure. Somehow, it must’ve been to his advantage to help me out.

“Jungkook, watch out,” I screamed, but before Jungkook managed to react, one of the smugglers, the bigger and the best groomed, hit Jungkook’s head with a stick, knocking him unconscious. It was just perfect; my only potential savior was just as screwed as I was.

The smugglers tied Jungkook to a chair and put him in front of me so I could torture myself with his beautiful yet treacherous features.

At first, I recollected the good memories with him; I had fewer of those in my mind, after all. Ignoring all the bad things he had done, it was quite pleasant to think about our time spent in Casablanca. Unfortunately, as soon as we had left it, everything went downhill.

Jungkook was lucky that he was unconscious because if looks could kill, he would have been staked, buried, dug up, and then staked again for good measure.

Jungkook was really lucky that I was tied up because if I could lay my hands on him, he would have wished the smugglers had killed him before me.

In the middle of the night, Jungkook stirred awake. Hopefully, with a terrible headache.

“Hello, Jungkook, what brings you here?” I asked bitterly, genuinely interested in the motives behind his unexpected visit in the smugglers’ campsite. After what he had done to me, it seemed rather odd that he came here because he wanted to rescue a damsel in distress.

“I came here because we were supposed to meet by the chopper, yet you never showed up,” Jungkook explained, but I only snorted, knowing he was bullshitting me right now.

“Try again.”

“But it’s the truth,” he stated, but it was a blatant lie.

“Cut the crap, Jungkook. I know you’ve stolen the necklace from me,” I accused him, and Jungkook remained silent, not even trying to defend himself. “Let me ask you again, why the hell have you come back?”

“OK, fine, I stole the necklace,” Jungkook admitted, and I was quite shocked to hear Jungkook say something true for a change. “But you have to believe me that I came back to get you because I care. At first, I thought I would be fine, but as soon as I reached the chopper, I felt terrible. Now I know that I shouldn’t have betrayed you like that.”

I was speechless, but not because I was touched by his confession. I literally didn’t have anything I wanted to tell him. Maybe he realized his faults, but for me, it was too late. I didn’t need to hear the justification for his actions; I had already made my mind. He had let me down a few times too many, and no apology would make up for it.

“So what was your plan?” I asked, changing the topic. We didn’t have time before the smugglers would leave the island, and I didn’t want to waste it on talking about his feelings. “If you planned getting caught and dying alongside me then I have to congratulate you. Well done, Jungkook,” I added in a mocking tone.

“Have you always been such a bitch?”

“Yeah, if you want me to be nicer, maybe you shouldn’t have double-crossed me.”

“I’ve already apologized for that; what else do you want me to do?” Jungkook said, but I had no recollection of him ever apologizing for anything.

“I have a few ideas actually, but I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna like them.”

“Can you just stop being a bitch for a moment so I can explain my plan to you?” Jungkook asked me angrily, and I just shrugged, waiting for him to elaborate about his plan. “So, I have the necklace in my side pocket,” he started, tilting his head, pointing at his cargo pants. “I thought you could do the trick again and charm them as you did in the cave. When I tried it, it didn’t work,” Jungkook explained, and now, I knew the real reason behind his return.

Of course, he couldn’t use the necklace! Only women could use it to enchant men, so that’s why he came back to get me. He needed me to use it, and get us out of the island. Thankfully, I hadn’t believed in his single word, otherwise, I would’ve thought he could be selfless.

“Do you think you can get closer, so I can take the necklace?” I asked straightforwardly, keeping my emotions (read: animosity) in check. Right now, our relations were strictly business-like; we had a common goal, so we had to put all our differences on hold.

“I have to try, it’s the only chance we have,” Jungkook said before he tried to move toward me. It was very clumsy and loud, but the smugglers seemed to decide to ignore all sounds regarding their captives.

“Why do you think the necklace didn’t work on you back then in the cave?” I wondered out loud since it still bugged me. “Are you sure you’re completely a man?”

“I think I have proven you how manly I am back in Casablanca. Or have you forgotten how you writhed below me?” Jungkook answered cockily, being already half-way to me.

“What? It’s the only explanation I could come up with.”

“Then it’s a wrong explanation,” Jungkook quickly replied, offended by my attempts of hurting his masculinity. “As soon as we get out of here, I can prove you wrong once again,” he added, but at this very moment, I was repulsed by the concept of fucking him. He might’ve had the good looks, but given the circumstances, jumping into his bed was the last thing I’d do. Jungkook was disgusting.

“I think I’ll pass, thank you,” I said, trying to smack his repulsive smirk off of his face. “Do you think you can be a little faster? They can come here anytime,” I urged him, but my words didn’t make him move any faster.

Who knew when the smugglers would come to eye-fuck me again or check if Jungkook regained his consciousness?

“Can you reach it?” Jungkook asked me when he positioned himself behind me. The rope bored deeper in my wounded skin when I tried to reach into his pocket.

“It hurts like hell,” I spoke, biting on my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from crying out in pain. “Can’t you get a little closer?”

“I’ll try,” Jungkook whispered, as he tried to give me better access. “How about now?”

“I almost got it,” I said, stretching my arm as much as I could. “I got it.” With a broad smile, I squeezed my hand around the necklace. I’d never let it go again. If someone wanted to have it, they would have to take it out of my cold hands.

“Now we have to wait for the smugglers to come here,” Jungkook concluded, acting like his typical self. Apparently, he was still resistant to whatever curse the necklace had been hexed with. “Now when they are your little puppets we can leave the island safely.”

“Sure,” I replied, although a few evil ideas ran through my head. With the necklace in my possession, I could control other men.

Before I could let out a chortle, one smuggler came to check on us, and instead of panicking that Jungkook and I were plotting something, he looked at me with heart eyes.

The necklace was working.

“Untie me,” I commanded, and the man obediently fulfilled my request. “Finally,” I added, massaging my sore wrists. I had to have my wounds cleaned, but after a quick examination, I was sure I was going to survive.

“Didn’t you forget about something, sweetheart?” Jungkook asked, hurrying me up.

“Oh, right, how could I forget about you,” I spoke casually, smiling at him. “Slap his face for me, will you?” I ordered, and the man once again did what I told him to do. I watched Jungkook get slapped, and although it was petty of me, it was also extremely satisfying.

“Why would you do that?” Jungkook groaned when his cheek started to sting.

“Slap him again, but harder this time around, okay?”

“Don’t –“ Jungkook wanted to object, but his words were stopped by another powerful swing of the smuggler’s hand. “I came here to save you, and that’s how you’re paying me back?”

“If you didn’t steal the necklace, I wouldn’t need your saving,” I retorted, but Jungkook only snorted. “Bring me something to eat, please,” I ordered the smuggler, and he, with a bright smile on his face, walked away, happy that I chose him out of the others.

“How can you be so cruel?”

“I’m only getting started,” I jested, but Jungkook didn’t seem to be amused. Apparently, he didn’t have a sense of humor when tied to a chair. “But trust me; your fate would be much worse if you weren’t resistant to the necklace.”

“I thought we were a team…”

“We were,” I started, “until you double-crossed me.”

“Is it too late to start over?” Jungkook asked with a sheepish smile, but I ignored him, looking for the man who was supposed to bring me food.

Whatever Jungkook and I had, it was over. He didn’t seem to give up, though, and if he wanted me to talk to him, I had to eat something first.

It was strange to walk amongst drug smugglers, especially when they made me feel as if I were their queen bee. They stared at me with admiration, willing to bend over backward to fulfill all of my wishes. The attention they were giving me was slightly uncomfortable, but after what I had gone through, I deserved some luxuries.

“This way, miss,” the man said, showing me a way to the table which was packed with different types of food. “Bon appetite,” he added before he walked away, letting me enjoy my meal in solitude.

Though I didn’t particularly like eating alone, I found this meal quite enjoyable.

I ate until I was full (read: until I was on the verge of vomiting).

“Gather all men around,” I commanded, and within two minutes all men assembled around me, two of the smugglers even brought Jungkook. “Oh, you’ve brought my captive.”

“I’m not your captive, princess,” Jungkook retorted, but he didn’t speak again when he got slapped for the third time. “I deserved the other slaps, but this one was uncalled for.”

“I want you to pack your things. We’re leaving the island instantly. The drugs are staying here. Is everything clear?” I commanded, and the men quickly ran away in separate ways, getting ready to leave the island.

“You’re ridiculously sexy when you boss them around,” Jungkook commented, somewhat turned on by my behavior. “I like strong women.”

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll leave you here,” I threatened, and Jungkook immediately stopped talking.

Before the sunrise, everything was set. All the men boarded the plane, while Jungkook and I stayed behind to chat. Though I wasn’t planning to leave him here, I could scare him a little bit. He wouldn’t hesitate to leave me here if he were in my shoes.

“So… what now?” Jungkook asked, now seriously concerned about his well-being.

“Don’t worry; I’ll take you to Ziguinchor. Later on, you gotta cater for yourself,” I explained as I cut the ropes, releasing him. Silently, Jungkook followed me into the plane.

Shortly after, we took off.

“I think I know why the necklace doesn’t work on me,” Jungkook started when our flight was slowly coming to an end. Within thirty minutes, we were to land in Ziguinchor.

“At this point, I don’t really care,” I answered, depriving him of his last chance of messing with my mind. Jungkook knew how to talk, how to wrap women around his finger. He had done it with me once, but now, I was smarter, and I wasn’t going to repeat my mistake.

I just couldn’t let him fool me twice.

“Please, don’t be like that.”

“Fuck you, Jeon. You stole the necklace and let these men hold me captive. It doesn’t matter why you came back. Just shut up, we’re gonna land soon,” I interjected him before he angered me even more. I couldn’t care less about his motivations. For what I cared, he could be pregnant with my baby, and I still wouldn’t like to have anything in common with him.

Shortly after my outburst, the plane landed. I had never been good with farewells, but this time, I honestly didn’t care what Jungkook might’ve thought about me. All I wanted was to get him out of my sight.

“You will come back on the island to destroy all of the drugs, and when you return, you’re going to live a normal life,” I ordered these men, and they, like they always had, nodded their heads with utter love.

“Goodbye, Jungkook,” I added before I, with my head high, walked away.

Although Jungkook tried to follow me, I ignored him. After a few moments of absolutely no reaction given by me, he finally gave up.

***

The journey back to my home was much smoother with the necklace. If I faced any problems, I just had to find a man within my sight range, and he would do whatever he was told to. On the way, one man had given me a ride to the airport, and another gave me his ticket.

Travelling has never been simpler.

Once I reached my modest apartment, I fell on my bed, ready to have the nap of the century. I was exhausted and jet-lagged, and I almost slept for over twenty hours.

After my return, everything seemed dull and monotonous. And though, it didn’t bother me right after I had come back, after a few weeks it began to bug me. The routine was slowly getting to me, and with each passing day, it was more and more challenging to deal with.

I was safe in the confines of my small apartment. I was successful in the archeology field. I even went on a date with my co-worker, Hoseok, whom I had been a serious crash before my expedition. At the very first glance, my life seemed perfect, but when I thought about it, it was dull and disappointing, and above all, it lacked excitement.

I showed my discovery to one of the professors who had used to teach me. Later on, he arranged a meeting with the custodian of the National Museum. Modestly speaking, the custodian was ecstatic to hear about the necklace.

Within a few days, I got a call from him.

They wanted to have an exhibition, my necklace being the main exhibit.

I agreed in no-time.

Moreover, he provided me with a skilled crew to get back on that island and get all the other exhibits for my very first exhibition.

At first, I was hesitant, but I agreed. I was desperate to feel the excitement again, and although it was fun, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as my previous expedition.

Two months later, the exhibition had its premiere. The necklace was inside a glass cabinet in the center of the room, surrounded by Aminata and Yaya’s skeletons, pictures of simulations of their faces, and plenty of writings which we had found written on the tomb’s walls.

Because it was my discovery, I was asked to give the opening speech, and though it wasn’t as scary as being held captive, I was anxious as fuck. I was having the peak of my life; only a fool wouldn’t be a little bit stressed in that kind of moment.

Having had two glasses of champagne, I successfully delivered my speech. People listened attentively to my story about the research and my solo expedition, people laughed when I cracked a joke, and most importantly, they clapped when I finished.

It was the most important night of my life, and it was a complete blast.

Two reporters even proposed me exclusive interviews.

“I am proud of you,” my professor congratulated me as soon as he found me in the crowd. “I saw your passion on my lectures, it’s no surprise to me that you did all of that by yourself,” he added, and I felt a pang in my chest.

Although Jungkook had helped me a few times, I couldn’t involve him in my report. Or anything else that he had put me through. It was unfair for me to take all the credit for the discovery, but I didn’t have any other choice. If I had confessed to all our faults, we both would’ve been screwed. Stealing somebody’s chopper, getting shot down into the ocean, being held captive by the drug smugglers, and the list went on.

“Soon the entire country will be talking about your discovery. You better get used to the attention you’re getting now because it will not go away easily,” the professor added, and I chuckled. Whenever I held the necklace, I struggled with plenty of unwanted attention; I was going to be just fine. At least they admired me because of my success, and not because of some curse.

“I didn’t think it would,” I added, and we both chuckled. “It’s not that bad, actually.”

“Maybe, but it’s different in the long-run. You’re a celebrity now,” the professor spoke, and I tried not to laugh. Me? A celebrity? No, Jimmy Fallon hasn’t contacted me yet.

Seeking for the right words to say, I looked around the crowd. It was odd; I thought I saw him. No, it was impossible. I had exclusively told him to leave me alone. Jungkook wouldn’t show up on this event, he could've figured out how significant this evening was to me. He wouldn’t ruin this for me.

“Excuse me after a moment,” I excused myself before I walked away, looking for the familiar brown hair, broad shoulders, and his bunny teeth.

No, he wasn’t here; I must’ve been imaging things.

I was running among people, trying to spot him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. My mind must’ve been playing tricks with me. Jungkook was probably on the other half of the world, seducing and tricking other women.

The moment when I was ready to accept that Jungkook was only a hallucination caused by excessive stress I was experiencing during the evening, I saw him. Jungkook was standing backward to me, studying the necklace inside the glass cabinet.

Knowing him, he was probably trying to come up with a plan of how to steal it again.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, and Jungkook turned around, taking my breath away. He looked marvelous in a suit and tie. Moreover, when his gaze met mine, I felt hot out of a sudden. It seemed as if I missed him.

What wasn’t correct; he was a lying asshole after all.

“You did it,” Jungkook said in genuine admiration. It was strange; after all, he had done, right now, he seemed to be proud. He was impressed with my achievement, even after I had taken all the credit for the discovery. “I am happy you succeeded.”

“Thank you,” I answered, completely confused due to his presence here and his unusual behavior. It was so unlike him to talk to me without any lewd innuendos. “What are you doing here, Jungkook? Haven’t I made myself clear?”

Jungkook smiled shyly; he was acting coy – that was new.

“You’ve made yourself crystal clear, but I just couldn’t let you leave without listening to my proper explanation,” he started softly, and I cocked up my eyebrow. It wasn’t unpleasant to see him. Actually, it was pretty nice. However, when I heard the melody of his voice, I was lost. Until now, I hadn’t realized how much I missed not only the adrenaline rushing through my veins, but also him.

“Is there anything left to explain?”

“I know why the necklace has never worked on me,” Jungkook started, and I crossed my arms across my chest, waiting for him to elaborate. I had thought about it many nights, but I had never come with a proper answer.

“And why is that?”

“When you hold the necklace, it turns all men within your sight range to change into mindless zombies who are so in love with you that they want to anything to make you happy,” Jungkook said, and I didn’t interject him; he was right after all. “It has never worked on me, or it has worked all the time because I was already in love with you.”

Maybe it was rude of me to snort, but it was what I did. Jungkook? In love with me? Puh-lease, it made absolutely no sense.

“You can’t expect me to believe in your confession,” I stated, hesitant to hear his voice again. I was a strong woman, and I didn’t need him to make my life complete. Unfortunately, as much as I was ashamed to admit that, I wanted him to make my life complete.

With Jungkook, I had felt the rush of adrenaline. Whenever he had been around, I had left excitement wash through me.

It was silly, but I actually missed the way he had made me feel.

“But it’s true,” Jungkook fought, ready to deliver me a thorough explanation. “I missed you like hell. Every day I wondered what you’re up to. I hoped you’re happy. It was incredibly stupid of me to steal that necklace, but I learned my lesson.”

Jungkook explained, and I wanted to slap myself for letting his words move me.

“I love you, woman.”

“Do you think love can fix everything?”

“It can’t, but it’s hell good of a start,” Jungkook admitted boldly, reminding me of his cocky side. God, I really missed this side of him. “There wasn’t a day when I didn’t regret what I did. I can’t get back in time to make different decisions, but I can stay by your side, support you in every part of your life, and try to prove that my heart is in the right place.”

“When have you got so sappy?” I asked with a witty smirk, and Jungkook smiled widely, knowing that I started to give in. “I barely recognize you. You’re dressed like a decent human being in that suit and tie, and now, your personality. You’ve done a 180, haven’t you?”

“It seemed appropriate to dress like that,” Jungkook answered, looking down at his attire. “And if my speech wouldn’t sweep you off your feet, my looks were supposed to be a back-up plan to make you droll over my sexy body. What do you think about it? Is it working?”

“You’re an asshole you know that, right?”

“I am an asshole in love. You can’t blame me for trying,” Jungkook retorted, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Though I didn’t want to show my inner emotions, a broad smile crept onto my face. “What do you say? Do you want to leave this super boring party, and do something more fun?”

“It’s not boring,” I corrected him, now slightly offended by his sharp words. It was an event dedicated to my discovery; it was awesome.

“I know it’s all about you, but you have to agree that it’s boring as fuck.” Jungkook defended his point of view, and after seeing this through his perspective, I had to agree. The average age of the guests was fifty and more, and nothing exciting was happening. People just talked about history and/or art and sipped champagne.

This party was a bummer.

“What do you propose?”

“Normally, I’d take you to your house and fuck you all night long as we did before, but now, I know I have to prove myself to you, so what do you think about getting a drink with me? And tomorrow, I can take you on a proper date.”

“Ok, but as soon as I get bored, I’m leaving.”

“Don’t worry, love. It’s never boring with me.”

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fic #bts story #jungkook story #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook #jeongguk smut #jungkook scenario #bangtan smut #bts fanfiction #bts #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeongguk angst #jeongguk fluff

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airbender-dacyon · 5 years

Text

Life and Kataang Week Delays

So I’ve been thinking about writing up this post for a while now, but haven’t had the chance until today. Its part explanation as to why there were so many delays and inconsistent updates with Kataang Week and part cathartic exercise for me personally. If you’re curious about what happened, feel free to read. I think this is more for me than anyone else, but like I said, it also serves as something of an explanation for how I poorly handled Kataang Week this year.

Before I get into the details, I’d just like to give a huge shout out to everyone who has offered me kind words and support these last several weeks. It means the world to me. And I sincerely apologize if I forget a name or two; @kristallioness @thecaroliner @the-rosey-one @s-n-arly @mindatworkk and @secretsecrettunnel

And thank you to everyone who participated in Kataang Week or helped spread the word that it was still happening.

If you’ve followed my personal blog for a while, you know I’m prone to hiatuses due to personal life or more likely, my anxiety/depression. And while I can more or less manage that outside of the internet, my online presence suffers. I spent far too long as a recluse back in 2013/2014 hiding away from friends and family in real life by retreating into the internet. I have no desire to return to those days. So despite my best efforts, much of this year I was unfortunately unable to maintain a consistent presence on tumblr.

The source of much of that anxiety was my former warehouse job, which I just very recently left. The work itself was not terrible, but after the first few weeks it transitioned from a 40 hours per week job to 50-60 hours per week. The mandatory overtime, combined with family obligations, left me with very little time to focus on my personal life. The pay wasn’t as great as previous jobs I’d held, the benefits were crap, the management was more concerned about hiring new employees than retaining current ones, and overall the experience just left me physically drained and apathetic towards the job/company.

Additional anxiety came from working towards entry into graduate school, just prior to starting said former job. Although I was accepted into the graduate school of my choice, I still have plenty of work to do before the semester starts in a few weeks. Again, most everything in my life was put on hold or pushed back thanks to that warehouse.

And although my exact area wasn’t directly affected, Southwest Ohio has been dealing with a lot this year. Several tornadoes tore through the region, heavy rains affected farming and roads for weeks, and much more recently, the shock of the mass shooting in Dayton. Again, while none of these have directly affected me, I personally know friends and family who were affected. And while we were fortunate to not have friends or family lost in the Oregon District, we are saddened at the loss of life and terrified at how quickly such a tragedy came about, especially in an area we imagined was welcoming and safe.

All of what I mentioned above was plenty to deal with, but I think I would have probably been able to keep up with Kataang Week/tumblr had I not been dealing with the grief that I am.

Around February/March, I learned that an old high school classmate and friend committed suicide. I scrambled to try and remember when we had last spoken and realized that – with the exception of possible, since deleted conversations on facebook – we likely hadn’t talked since graduation several years ago. I have vague memories of them – I know what they looked like, their voice, their general attitude and personality – but whenever I try to really remember events or exact memories, I draw blanks. And I think that hurts me as much as actually losing them because in a sense, I’d already lost them in my memories before I lost them in life.

On a similar note, I’ve learned about other friends I’ve known from high school and college and how some of them have changed and… I’m not sure what hurts worse on that front – uncertain if we’re really friends anymore or that I discovered these developments on my own/they didn’t trust me enough to tell me directly. Some of them I lost when I became a recluse in 2013/2014, others I don’t really know when. And I know people grow and change through life, but it hurts all the same.

Within days of hearing about my classmate’s suicide, I learned my last living grandparent – my grandmother – had passed away. She had suffered from Alzheimer’s/dementia for about five years now, declining with each and every visit until other relatives managed to move her to a nursing home to provide her with better care. I hadn’t seen her in well over a year by the time she passed due to the distance to travel to where she lived and the next loss I’m going to talk about. I cried after the fact, but up to and during her funeral, I just felt numb.

It was these losses that caused the initial delays for Kataang Week this year.

For almost the last two years, the greatest obligation in my family life was to visit another relative – a member of my immediate family – who was suffering from a rare disease.

My mother was misdiagnosed with Parkinson’s some years ago and she fought valiantly to maintain her life despite the rather aggressive onset of the disease. By the time she was reliant on a cane, she had to quit her job and apply for disability. The next year, she was reliant on a walker; less than a year later, a wheelchair. As her motor control and strength were taken from her, so was her mind in bits and pieces. She became confused and forgetful more often, slurred her speech and lost her voice some days, among other symptoms. My father and I did the best we could to make our home accessible to her, but eventually even in a wheelchair she became largely reliant on the two of us.

My Dad shouldered most of her care and for far longer than he probably should have. After speaking with a neurologist about the possibility of a surgical procedure (deep brain stimulation, I believe – known to help ‘reset’ the brain for Parkinson’s patients and give them independence and motor control again for another 5-10 years), we were informed that my Mom wasn’t actually afflicted with Parkinson’s.

The disease she actually suffered from is known as Multiple System Atrophy (often referred to simply as MSA) and presents itself as ‘Parkinson’s on steroids.’ It is much less common than Parkinson’s and there is no cure. After symptom onset, those afflicted with MSA live for an average of 7 more years before succumbing to complications (most often respiratory related) resulting from the disease.

Eventually it became too difficult to care for her at home and we moved her into a nursing home. So when I was home from school or off work, I spent as much time as I could with my Mom in her new home. As a result, 10 hour days followed by several hours at the nursing home didn’t leave me with much time for tumblr/Kataang Week this year.

She sometimes had enough strength and mental aptitude to move herself around in her wheelchair, other times she was still reliant on family or staff. She made new friends and eventually came to accept her situation. She knew she was declining and often wondered what she had done to deserve such a cruel fate.

Within the last year, she became almost entirely confined to her bed. She didn’t have the strength to sit up long enough in a wheelchair for anything other than short trips through the nursing home for her personal hygiene. On days she was more mentally ‘with it,’ more aware of her situation, she was very depressed with her situation. The best days were when she could hold conversations and laugh, despite everything. However, the good days increasingly became fewer and father apart. She began to eat less and simply stare at visitors.

After almost two weeks of staring with little talking and poor appetite, I had a good day with her. She was smiling and talking with me. She ate a decent dinner that evening. We laughed at funny commercials on the television and family stories. It was a good day. I thought things were going to start looking up, getting better. I wish I had stayed with her longer that night.

I don’t think she ever spoke more than a few words after that night. The poor appetite and vacant staring returned, interrupted only by an occasional spark of consciousness or smile. Within a week of that last good day I spent with her, hospice told us she was likely not going to live much longer; she passed not even a full day after hospice told us that.

We had been living in a state of perpetual grief as we watched her slip further and further away these last several years. But to lose her so suddenly still cut deep. We were also relieved that she didn’t have to suffer anymore.

My Mom’s rapid decline and death happened in the final weeks leading up to Kataang Week. I tried to get things situated well enough for the week, but I failed. I appreciate everyone’s support and patience this year and Marie for helping out when I needed it most.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

TL;DR - Work, weather, and deaths of friends/family piled on the anxiety/depression and delayed Kataang Week.

So if you’ve taken the time to read all of this, I thank you. I feel a little lighter now that I’ve written it all out. And if you made it this far, I’d just like to say – the next time you see your parents or a loved one you haven’t seen in a while, give them a hug. Tell them you love them. You never know how much longer you’ll have with them. Sometimes the death of a loved one is sudden and unexpected. Sometimes it’s an inevitability you’ve feared for years. Either way, it hurts like hell.

To end, I’d just like to wish all my mutuals, friends, and followers – and their loved ones – long, healthy, and happy lives. And again, thank you all for your boundless support and friendship.

- Dan

#Dan rambles #Personal #This is really rambly and a mess and I didn't spellcheck or anything #But its something of an explanation

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feynavaley · 5 years

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Thank you for answering my last question! I was the anon who asked if there was a difference in names in North and South Italy. I was also wondering if there are any strong cultural differences? I'm making an Italian character who has a father from Piedmont and a mother from Apulia. Do the differences depend on the specific region? Thank you for being so patient!

Thanks for the question! This is going to be a bit hard to answer because the matter is quite complex, haha.

The thing is, we’re all Italians. So, we definitely share a lot of key cultural and historical heritage. However, Italy has been a single country only since 1861. From the fall of the Roman Empire to that date, Italy has been divided into different parts, each under different dominations that changed during the course of history. From this brief piece alone you can understand that there are lot of cultural differences between each different regions – and there are also a lot of differences between the North and South Italy (that is usually identified as the regions formerly belonging to the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies – Abruzzo, Basilicata, Calabria, Campania, Molise, Apulia, and Sicily). I apologize for this, but I don’t feel comfortable with delving further into historical and economic issues as it’s a very complex and sensitive matter, unsuited for a simple Tumblr post. I would only risk oversimplifying the issue.

That said, I can offer you my own perspective on some differences I have noticed, as a person who lives in a region of the Centre-North but has friends and acquaintances from all over Italy. (Mostly met at university, when people tend to move away from their birthplace.) It goes without saying that anything I will write is going to be an overgeneralization; every person is different and the birthplace doesn’t determinate the personality – yet, there are some behavioural patterns I have noticed and I think can be ascribed to cultural differences.

A general stereotype about Italians is that we’re warm and friendly. This probably true for most Italians (after spending some time in Switzerland, I would be inclined to say it is), but even more so from people coming from the South. Many people from North Italy are friendly, but in a more detached manner. We still keep our distances. I’m not trying to imply it’s fake but – we have some clear boundaries with people we don’t know well. People from the South, instead, tend to be immediately much warmer. Hospitality is sacred, they go extreme lengths to put you at ease. I don’t know how to explain it properly because it’s something you have to experience, but – you get invited to somebody’s place, and you feel like you have been genuinely adopted into the family. People from the North are perfectly nice and welcoming as well, but generally, it’s not the same feeling.

On the flip side, people from the South tend to take much more liberties. Even if you aren’t particularly close, they can ask for pretty big favours – stuff I would hesitate asking even to my family, to make it clearer. Sometimes, this can get perceived as rude from people who aren’t used to it. In truth, it’s more of a cultural misunderstanding: they ask big favours, that much is true, but they expect you to count on them in the same way. Most people would do for you what they’re asking you to do for them, if you were to need it.

As far as the general attitude goes, people from the South tend to be a bit louder and lively. Things are also a bit more disorganized in the South – but this is more about infrastructures than people.

Sadly, people from the North also have a lot of prejudices against people from the South. They’ll say they are lazy and not trustworthy, some people in the North will discriminate against them when it comes to, for example, renting apartments or even hiring for a job. I won’t say anything more because I don’t think I am the person most suited to discuss this, but I think it’s something you have to be aware of, if you want to portray the divide between South and North.

Going back to lighter matters, South Italy cuisine involves a lot of frying and oil, while in plates from the North a lot of butter is used.

And, obviously, people from different regions may speak, aside from standard Italian, regional dialects that are in no way mutually intelligible, haha. They are completely different languages.

About the specific regions, I am sorry to say I cannot say much about Piedmont. I’ve been there just a few brief times, not long enough to discern the specific differences between Piedmont and the rest of North Italy. I also don’t know many people coming from Piedmont. I can only tell you that it’s amongst the richest regions of Italy (although not to the levels of, say, Lombardy) and with strong industrialization, but the agriculture is prevalent as well. I can also tell you that it’s one of the few land-locked regions of Italy, but it has, instead, part of the Alps. If your main character’s father comes from there, he’s likely to be used to mountains – if he doesn’t live nearby, as a touristic destination, at least. Hicking in the summer and skying or other winter sports in the winter.

I can be more useful about Apulia, instead. In general, it’s a region in the South and surrounded by a gorgeous sea, so your MC’s mother will probably be more used to that. She’ll know how to swim and complain about seas that are not as beautiful, haha. Being in the South, Apulia is also quite warm. Your character might have never seen snow before moving away – I know some people who didn’t. I could be even more useful, though. My mother spent her childhood in Apulia in the 70s – that, if your story is set in contemporary years and your main character is an adult, might be the same time his/her mother was a child as well. If this might be useful, I can give you more details specifically tied to that period, let me know! 😊

Just one last thing: moving between Piedmont and Apulia is going to take forever, lol (especially if you have to get to the bottom of Apulia). Even now, there aren’t fast trains that connect the two regions, it will take at least 9 hours just to go from Turin to Bari – and that’s the easiest thing I could think of, haha. By car, it’s at least 10 hours. And, it used to be much worse in the past. It’s not an easy connection.

I hope this has been useful, don’t hesitate to ask if you need clarifications/anything more!

#italian things #anonymous #feyna answers #thanks for stopping by!#sorry it took me so long to answer #I didn't know how to approach some economic and cultural aspects because they are very sensitive #so I ended up omitting them because I feel they are just...#too complex to be grasped with a quick explanation #they would require essays over essays #not to mention an in-depth knowledge of some cultural and historical aspect #and I really didn't feel up to talking about them so freely #my words could be misunderstood to easily

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lunarbranded · 5 years

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🍵+ gatekeeping

Send 🍵for the mun’s salt! || Meme

gate·keep·ing: noun - the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.Tumblr definition: when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who has access to something .

Boy, you know. I’ve been mulling over how I was gonna work with this ask and how to do this post for a while. Actually had the words a few times that I wanted to use but I waited and thought on it. As it turns out, there’s a lot I want to touch upon with my salt in this post. Most of it is general toxic behavior from the RPC community itself and some of fandom but, for the most part, it’s Tumblr bullshit to the extreme.

If you don’t want to see strong af opinions, please keep scrolling. The salt will be under the cut and I understand that most of what I’ll be saying in this post will not be popular opinions.

Gatekeeping Is A Form of Bullying

Ever heard some dudebro go ‘I bet she hasn’t even read the comics’ about a girl wearing a Marvel shirt? What about someone going ‘If you don’t read the books, you’re not a real fan’ when someone’s in line at the theater? Yeah, those are examples of gatekeeping. A couple of the most common ones actually.

As for Tumblr RPC gatekeeping, it’s a bit more like this:

Omg, you can’t write that because it doesn’t fit into what I believe is the only lore that ever exists

wtf why are you claiming that character is gay/trans/bi/ect? they’re not or it would be mentioned in canon

how dare you want representation for your gender identity/race/ect., that’s not okay because it doesn’t adhere to CANON

you can’t ship that because it’s morally wrong and i don’t like it (which sounds a lot like old church people bitching about anything at all really)

if you don’t have the right aesthetic then i won’t follow/interact with you at all

These are just a few examples but most of them are pretty common. And, you know, that’s sad as fuck, to be honest. So many people I’ve met on this side claim to have been bullied but they’re usually the same people who turn around and do this shit to others. It’s unreal to me that they don’t recognize their own behavior. What’s worse is that it can’t be pointed out or people want to use whatever buzzword they can to tell you to fuck off.

If you try to help correct someone, suddenly you’re every -phobic on the planet and you conveniently managed to set their grandmother on fire. The dramatic overreactions of some people have a price and they don’t realize that the emotional response is sometimes not the correct one.

Just because someone is doing something you don’t like doesn’t mean that it deserves a negative action on your part.

‘That person upset me so I’m gonna post a callout/vague post about them!’ Why do you guys think that literally fucking everything needs a reaction? It doesn’t. You don’t have to react to everything that happens. Sometimes things warrant a simple ‘oh that’s fucked up’ and then you move on with your fucking day.

Say you have thirty water bottles. Someone steals one and drinks out of it or whatever but you still have twenty-nine water bottles - why the fuck are you going to be angry all day about that one water bottle? What’s the point when you have twenty-nine other water bottles and you can forget about or throw away the one that was ruined/taken?

You see, that reaction is how you guys act about any one instance that goes wrong on Tumblr except you’re pissed off for a week and you want to ruin someone’s fucking life over a post/thread that you don’t like. Or, in extreme cases, you open blogs to run your mouth at these people. It takes more effort to act like a dick toward someone than it does to just keep fucking scrolling and it’s astounding how ready people are here to wallow in negativity/toxicity.

Puritan Ship/Roleplay Policing

So I mentioned it before, but there’s this super popular idea on Tumblr that if you don’t abide by a certain unspoken ship/roleplay guideline, people will tear you apart over it. But guess what, guys, it’s fucking bullshit.

Since when were people not allowed to make their own opinions on what they did or didn’t ship?

When did it start that people were considered trash for shipping something?

Who the hell made half of you the owners of the RPC so you think you can control what everyone does on their blogs?

You see, this is the same attitude that I see all the time in churches. Oh they’ll tell you to your face that you’re welcome to do as you like and come looking however you want but the second you actually fucking do it, you’re ignored and treated like a social pariah. All this because people love to go around spreading rumors and talking shit about one another all over a fucking hobby.

It’s actually kind of insane when you think about it. Like, you’re arguing over what two people are doing when they’re throwing internet Barbies at one another and you’re stomping across the playground to scream at them because you don’t like what they’re doing when it has nothing to fucking do with you. Remember what we called that in elementary and high school? Oh yeah, there’s a word for it: BULLYING. And now, it’s evolved into gatekeeping.

This attitude is literally as bad as someone going ‘you can’t sit with us’ just because you don’t like what they’re doing on their blog.

Now, I called this section ‘puritan’ for a reason - “practicing or affecting strict religious or moral behavior.” Does that sound familiar? Because it should. Tumblr wants to call everything wrong and, from what I’ve seen, the hivemind doesn’t want people making their own opinions. Oh and don’t forget, if you don’t already know something then tough fucking luck because it’s ‘not our job to teach you.’ Thanks for the reminder, Susan, but we all know that you’re going to resort to calling people toxic abusers just because they weren’t given the chance to learn something like you were. Because that’s a fucking great way to help people to understand things from your point of view.

Look. What I’m saying is that trying to force everyone into your moral alignment isn’t okay. Some people will write murder and abusive relationships and not romanticize them just fine. The same goes for incest, rape, dysphoria, and a great number of other things. Believe it or not, some RPers actually take the time to look this shit up so they can make sure that they’re doing it fucking right and avoiding romanticization. You know, what you people want them to do but yell at them when you see it trigger tagged without bothering to take a look at the entire thread in question. Goes right back to that knee jerk reaction people like to rely on - not everything is the end of the world.

Callout/Cancelled Culture

This one’s going to be fun.

So we all know that people love their callouts but we also know that people just fucking love cancelling people. Guess what though - you cannot cancel a fucking human being because they’re not a television show. Shocker right? I know.

Now, I’ll admit that there’s some callout worthy topics but there’s some callouts that are so goddamn stupid that I just can’t take either party seriously. Now Tumblr loves dividing people, especially in the RPC. Don’t fucking tell me that cliques aren’t a thing in the RPC because ‘RPing in your bubbble’ is the same as having a clique. It’s the same concept hidden behind another name, don’t try to tell me otherwise.

And yes, sometimes people want to run around and start ‘clique wars’ like it’s fucking high school all over again. Sorry, but no one has time for that shit. Do your replies and keep your nose out of where it doesn’t belong, Barbara. But, of course, people have trouble with this concept and get into fights. It’s natural that no two people are going to agree on the same goddamn thing. It would be ridiculous to expect this, especially on this website, but just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that they’re cancelled.

What you think is problematic and what someone else thinks is problematic are likely two different things. And sure, you’ll have people who agree with you and you’ll want them on your side but that doesn’t help because now you’ve created that divide. So things fester and get worse because you want to use your mental illness as an excuse (a popular choice from what I’ve seen) as to why you can’t communicate with someone. Next thing you know, there’s a huge callout against someone and that person didn’t expect it at all.

Knee jerk reactions. Fight gets worse. Divide gets bigger. Toxicity festers.

Well now, there’s this new thing in the RPC where you can get a PSD template and fake fucking screenshots. Sure, it’s for musings and character profiles for things like Tinder, Facebook, ect. Just fun little things for you to throw your characters into and stuff like that. But there’s always that 1% who decide to use it so they can make it look like someone’s said something when they haven’t. So, when that person tries to defend themselves with a full-screen shot of their own (whole desktop or mobile version), things get worse until there’s a giant blowout.

Once the dust settles you get this nice little ‘if you follow x, y, z then you can just block me bye’ behavior popping up. Well, that’s just childish. Unless something happened that was almost a ‘they found out where i live and they’re sending me glass filled cookies in the mail’ situation, then I have no reason to bother with that shit in your rules page. No one is obligated to tell you who they associate with just because you had a disagreement with them. However, if that person chooses to take your side, that’s up to them.

I’m sure damn near everyone has had a similar situation to this happen to them on Tumblr before and, if it hasn’t, were you the one making the call out? If you were, was it worth it? Did it make you feel better? Sure, it might have in the moment but if you’re having that much of an issue actually communicating with others then you should take a step back and work on yourself before you involve other people. It’s like that one saying I keep seeing running around ‘if bad things always happen to you, you should make sure that you’re not the one causing it.’

Now, that’s not to say that I’m trying to gaslight anyone, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve looked back and realized that my own knee jerk reactions have caused a lot of turmoil that I could have avoided had I stopped and thought on it. I’ll admit that because guess fucking what, humans aren’t perfect.

That’s the biggest issue on Tumblr. Half of you expect people to come on here and be perfect from the get go but humans make fucking mistakes and we learn from them. Do we not? How many of you can say that you were perfectly rational and amazing 15 year olds? Absolutely no one because teenagers have a lot of stress and expectations thrown on them while they’re going through a rough growth phase at that time. Things are unpredictable for them and they have school, teachers, friends, and parents throwing all of this shit onto them and then they come on here and have full-grown fucking adults slamming all this shit into their faces. It’s fucking ridiculous. And that’s another goddamn topic holy shit. The way some adults on here act is absolutely barbaric.

Sharing IP Addresses Out of Revenge/Anger

Oh this is something I’ve hated since I found out that Statcounter was a thing. Yes, I run it on my own blog but you’ll never see me sharing IP addresses on the dash. I’ll just quietly IP block you and go about my day, idgaf.

So there’s this huge trend and I’ve seen this on my own dash before (it was fucking disgusting, the response was atrocious on that person’s behalf, and I’ve since hardblocked) and it’s something I’ll hardblock over in a heartbeat.

Now, for those who don’t know, Statcounter has a little piece of code that you can put into your blog theme and it’ll track the IP addresses of people who visit your blog. For me, I use it because I’ve had two stalkers in the past and yes, I keep screenshots of their visits for my own records. Fuck them. First one started the trigger for me and the second one recently exacerbated it. Anyway, if the person doesn’t have something on their browser to block it, Statcounter will pick up on their visit, what links they look at, how long they’ve been looking, their ISP, general location (never their precise home location, just the ISP’s area), browser info, and screen resolution. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I recall for now.

Having it so you can protect yourself from stalkers is one thing but having it and using it to throw someone’s IP out there is another. When I say that people weaponize Statcounter, I’m not joking. People will go on there after getting what they believe is anon hate and see who the move recent /ask visitor was and start blasting their IP all over the place.

For one thing - people can send asks via the dash. They don’t have to click onto your page at all so, there’s a HUGE risk of throwing out an innocent person’s IP address.

Say someone does this - mistakenly throws out an innocent person’s IP after receiving anon hate. That person is likely going to have a panic attack. Not only have you shared their state and general location but you’ve blamed them for something they didn’t do. Throwing that IP out there, to any fucking extent can create a witch hunt for anyone who has Statcounter to try to figure out who the owner of that IP is.

This is related to gatekeeping because you’re essentially blacklisting anyone who lives in that state/general area from the RPC all because you saw they were in the /ask page. How fucked up is that? It ties right back to the knee jerk response and it shows that people given even a modicum of power abuse it at the first chance. This isn’t even addressing how vicious some people answer anons.

Sure, posting an IP address on it’s own isn’t illegal but when you tack a name onto it, then it is because you’re essentially creating a threat toward that person.

Point of this section - don’t fucking share people’s goddamn IP addresses on the dash, it just makes you a douchebag. I lose all respect for anyone doing this when I find them - fuck you for doing that.

Activism Forced into Roleplay

I used to be in the Marvel RPC. Key here: used to be. Part of the issue that lead to me leaving was how much people slammed IRL issues into RP. Yes, I’m well aware that Marvel comics has a long and deep history of taking on IRL issues and the comics themselves are quite political.

However my issue comes when this is happening outside of the Marvel community.

I’ve seen people trying to force IRL events down people’s throats. ‘You shouldn’t be happy - x, y, and z are happening right now and don’t you dare tell me to be quiet about it!’ Good way to get yourself blocked. People RP as a hobby and, for some, as a form of escape. Immersing into a character to find out what makes them tick is a form of method acting, so it could be said that we’re method writing out characters to an extent. So shoving IRL issues at some RPers can cause them to lose muse or abandon blogs entirely.

Of course, in the same breath, I’ve seen people told that they can’t RP something because they’ve never experienced it, people think they’re romanticizing it, or some other bullshit Tumblr reason. Look, I’ve experienced rape, self harm, suicidal thoughts, CSA (incestuous and non-incestuous), as well as mental and physical abuse. Don’t you dare assume that I cannot write about these experiences in an accurate way and don’t you fucking dare tell me that I can’t write it because I’ll tell you first off where you can shove your bullshit. The fact that people have to disclose that they’ve been through these things so people will stay off their ass on Tumblr RPs is fucking ridiculous too.

You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot write on my blog when I trigger tag the living shit out of everything to make sure that I’m protecting as many people as I can from seeing it. Do not try this shit with me. Censoring someone because it doesn’t adhere to your moral code is just as bad as banning books, televisions shows, and/or movies.

Censoring something doesn’t solve the problem and boy fucking howdy does Tumblr have an issue with that. Censorship is another form of gatekeeping, by the way! You might not like it but people don’t go to jail for writing about incest or rape, just fucking saying. Oh but there have been crime authors sent to prison, I was suspended from school for writing about murder, but nothing about rape and incest.

Sure, it may raise some eyebrows and people have to actually use gasp! postblock, tumblr savior, and any other method of tag blocking so they don’t see it but uh… that’s called being responsible for your content consumption.

Tumblr Is Not The Real World

Alright. So I’m gonna close this with a good reminder that I think some people on Tumblr could use.

Tumblr is not the end-all be-all of the world.

Yes, you can make some good friends here and that’s fine but when you stay on here too long, the toxicity can start to change how you view the world around you. No, not every man that walks by you is going to rape you. No, not every woman that you see is going to be okay with you treating her the way you do female ocs and canons on here (actually, I’ve met some women who were proud they could make a full-grown man cry with the right look so).

You have to think about how Tumblr makes you view others as well. All this ‘you messed up once so you’re cancelled’ behavior is a social media phenomenon that doesn’t carry on into real life. It just doesn’t. Sure, you can block someone you know IRL but that doesn’t stop them from talking to you if they were a Facebook friend you went to school with. If they still live nearby you, they’ll either talk to you or about you. What are you going to do? Take the Tumblr route and fucking scream at them like an incoherent banshee? No, you’ll suck it the fuck up and you’ll act like a decent person, don’t fucking lie.

You need to understand that Tumblr is it’s own entity, it’s own little sphere on the internet and, by no means, is it appropriate to carry on in your daily life the way some of you do on here. And if you do, please take a moment to stop and look at yourself.

Self improvement starts when you want to improve but gatekeeping, bullying, and acting like a total barbarian to people you don’t know isn’t okay. This goes for the ones you do know too. I’m not saying that triggers aren’t important in the real world but you need to understand that forcing the social climate to change will only make people dislike you. When they don’t want to change, they’re not going to and some will refuse to change to spite you.

Forcing anything won’t help.

Gatekeeping won’t help.

Censorship has never helped.

People don’t respond to being told what to do, feel, or think. Personally, I’d tell someone to fuck off if they tried doing it to me. So why do you think you can do it to others? Ever heard of ‘treat others how you want to be treated?’ Just be fucking decent and stop acting like other people are your goddamn doormat, jfc.

#chainedloyalty #;;bahamut's voice: ooc #;;salt #;;unpopular opinion #rape mention tw #rape tw #csa mention tw #csa tw #self harm mention tw #self harm tw #suicide mention tw #suicide tw #//this is a long post #//there's a lot of salt #//proceed at your own risk #//there's been two warnings - in post and in tags #//don't @ me - talk to me if you want to know more

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sapphicbookclub · 6 years

Text

Author Spotlight: Shannon McGee

I’m happy to spotlight an author of our future book club read! Shannon McGee who wrote Of Gryphons and Other Monsters and Of Dragon Warrens and Other Traps, talks about what and how much representation affects LGBT people. Read on if you’re interested in just how similarly we all feel when turning to specific representation in media.

How Representation Affected My Coming Out Process

Growing up I was shy. I had a very tight relationship with my family, but I wasn’t great at talking with people outside of it. I even went through a few years where I was That Kid™ who had a stack of books on either side of her desk and didn’t talk to anyone. As I was trying to find myself, I had an almost gluttonous attitude towards books. Books helped me understand not only other people, but also myself. They gave me the courage to form real connections by showing me the ways in which we’re all alike.

I feel incredibly lucky to have grown up in a time with a surplus of kick-butt females in books—not to mention television. Those books gave me role models who were loving, smart, funny, reserved, and strong. Lady knights and California mediators alike showed me that there were all kinds of ways to be a woman and that none of them detracted from my potential bad-assery.

However, there was one aspect of myself that I could never seem to find represented in the way I desperately wanted. My books never seemed to show me how to fall in love with a girl and not have that be my whole life. With the Amazon.com nowhere near the comprehensive powerhouse that we know and love/hate today, and Barnes and Nobles’ “LGBT” section consisting of one shelf of books tucked in next to the “Self-Help,” section, my choices in queer books always seemed to boil down to teenage depression or adult pornography. It was discomfiting, to say the least.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that there’s no place in the world for those stories. Normalizing sexuality between women gets a big A+ from me. As an adult who has become fully comfortable with myself, I’ve read my fair share of romance novels. I can also see the necessity writing about girls who come out and are subsequently thrown out by their family. Stories about girls who profess their love to a friend and get rejected are relatable as all get out.

Some people really need to read those stories. They need to read that yes the sexual aspect of their sexuality is valid, and also yes finding love when you’re not straight can be hard and the pain of rejection feels unbearable and that’s all normal too.

As an unemployed teenager who wasn’t “out” yet, romance books were not an option. Even if I had wanted to read adult romance novels, (which I didn’t, gay or straight) I wasn’t about to ask my mom to buy me a book where two women were having sex—heck no. And I definitely wasn’t interested in a book which was basically designed to make me cry. Pass.

As someone who used books to help me see the heights of what was possible, what I gathered from this selection of books was that loving women was either raunchy—not my bag—or… survivable. Which was bleak. It made the idea of coming out even more nerve-wracking. Especially since I had so little to go off of! What if I came out, and then realized I was wrong? All signs pointed to the fact that there was only one way to know for sure and whether I was or wasn’t the consequences would be huge and terrible.

As a lover of all things fantasy, what I really wanted to read was the hero’s journey. I wanted wise-cracking knights, gruesome but manageable dragons, and a hero defying the odds. I wanted action-packed fight scenes, and romantic professions of love with maybe some tasteful fade-to-black moments all wrapped up in a happy ending. I wanted all the things the other books promised me was possible as a straight girl. I just wanted the girl protagonist to fall in love with another woman by the end of the series. I wanted to know that was possible.

For a long time, I just gave up looking for that kind of content. It was too hard to root out. Instead, I put a pin into that aspect of myself. It wasn’t exactly something people talked about, it wasn’t something I could try out without hugely terrible consequences, and I couldn’t read about it to get a better idea of if those consequences were worth it, so I just had to resign myself to never knowing.

I dated boys. When I didn’t want to kiss my first or second boyfriend I remember thinking, "Well this could mean anything.” I mean I could do it, there were just other things we could be doing besides stupid kissing. True, that wasn’t how the girls in the books felt about kissing their boyfriends, but maybe longing was something I would

grow into. Not wanting to hold my boyfriend’s hand or spend… any time with him… That didn’t have to mean anything.

Then, sophomore year of high school I kissed a girl at a party. We’d been drunk. Had that meant something? I still wasn’t sure. I took the pin out, and I went looking again.

By that time, the landscape of the internet was changing. Fantastic advancements had been made. Communities had formed. Lists of resources were being compiled. Fanfiction had roared into life. Tumblr? Click. Click. Wooh boy! I saw myself all over the place. For the first time I began reading my own thoughts coming from someone else’s brain. A stranger described the way my insides rolled when the girl with the short brown hair looked up and smiled at me. They talked about how falling in love with her didn’t hurt, and how it felt like warm sunlight in my chest. They wrote about suddenly understanding why people were so ga-ga over kissing, when it never meant anything before.

It meant something, and it didn’t have to mean something bad. Over the next four years I came out.

These days I have a “Battleaxe Bi” pin attached to a string of rainbow crystals that hang from the rearview mirror in my car. However, to start, my coming out was slow, and to only a select group of people. Don’t ask don’t tell culture was still really prevalent, and in a lot of ways it was how I lived my life.

I have a lot of thoughts on what it means to be a writer who is also a part of the LGBTQA+ community. For me, part of being a writer means being vulnerable. It means taking out some of your more personal hopes and dreams and sharing them to see if anyone else can relate. Growing up without seeing a lot of my own feelings represented, I understand fairly acutely why that vulnerability is important.

With that in mind, I’d been writing for years by the time I came to Taryn’s story, and it was normal for me to write my characters with my shared experience of being queer. It was basically a given. Whether they were fluid, bi, or a lesbian, if I was going to write a character she was going to like women in some way.

Still, when I came to the decision that I would be publishing this story, I had a few concerns. I think a lot of them boiled down to that old anxiety that my experiences were… well… abnormal. I mean, I still wasn’t finding many queer books at the bookstore. And what if it was worse? What if who I was truly was hate-worthy?

By 2015 seeing queer characters was becoming mainstream, and that filled me with joy, but I had also seen the backlash. Videos on Youtube of Naomi and Emily on Skins and Brittany and Santana on Glee had just as many negative comments as positive. Over the course of my life, among other things, I’d witnessed a girl I only knew in passing get kicked out when she came out, and I’d seen a friend’s grandmother harangue her on Facebook, saying she was going to Hell.

As someone who generally flew below the radar, I was afraid of being targeted and rejected.

I didn’t even advertise “Of Gryphons and Other Monsters” as a queer book before it came out, except in specific places online and to specific family members. It’s funny. Even though at its core I wanted my writing to show Taryn being a lesbian didn’t make her different I also desperately wanted readers to have a chance to get to know Taryn before finding out she was gay. I didn’t want either of us to be pigeon-holed.

Sometimes I joke that I basically used “Of Gryphons and Other Monsters” to come out to my extended family. I didn’t tell basically any of them who she was going to fall in love with. I just let them read the book and find out. They didn’t care. Turns out, it wasn’t a big deal to them, not like it was to me.

Once “Of Gryphons and Other Monsters” was out in the world though I finally let those fears go. Reviews came in and people reached out and said they loved her. I realized that I’d been acting out of a fear that was built into me in a different time. A fear based in sensibilities that we’re moving away from at a wonderfully brisk pace. Never fast enough, but faster than I can believe sometimes.

After that realization I felt way more comfortable marketing “Of Gryphons and Other Monsters,” and “Of Dragon Warrens and Other Traps,” as exactly what they were: Queer YA Fantasy. The response was immediate. My sales sky-rocketed. Turns out, in couching who Taryn was, not only was I doing myself a disservice, but I was also doing a disserve to everyone else out there who was looking for that same validation I sought as a teenager.

I know we’re not there yet, but I truly believe that we are rapidly approaching a time when that specific kind of loneliness and isolation of being a kid and not seeing your love portrayed—anywhere at worst, or as lewd or depressing at best—is vanishing. Already Garnet, Korrasami, and Bubbline are on my television—cartoon characters meant for kids, not adult character co-opted for lack of better options. My Goodreads “Want to Read” section is brimming with books starring queer ladies. The storylines available today are an ever broadening and deepening river that I get to swim in the rest of my life, and it’s only going to get better.

If you’re reading this and you’re a writer who wonders if people really want to read that gay fantasy book you’ve been writing… there are a lot of us out here, and we are always ravenous for more content. Please write. Please share. We are interested.

(As a side note: I wrote the first rough draft of this blog post before looking over past Author Spotlights and I almost laughed out loud at the common theme in our writing—we don’t want our sexuality to be the defining characteristic of our books. It’s important and in some ways it shaped me into who I am, but to quote Cosima of Orphan Black, “My sexuality is not the most interesting thing about me.”)

You can find Shannon on: Twitter @WriterSTMcgee - Instagram @aquanaba - Facebook at facebook.com/shannontaylormcgee - website shannontmcgee.com

#author spotlight #guest post

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