#that and shopping

[kollector-of-stims]

Tonight has been a great Saturday night and I wanna spread the happy cozy vibes!!

I got new friends today!⤵️

Here they all are, revealed!⤵️

My husband pointed out that the cats look like the autism creature and now I cant unsee it-⤵️

Then when we got home I decided to take a bath, something I rarely do, to calm down!

After a year or so, this little duckling I had won from a small crane game finally went into its habitat of bath tub:⤵️

AND DIDN'T EVEN FLOAT-⤵️

But it was fun regardless, and after I got clean, my husband(/caregiver? He didn't specifically act like a caring figure besides a husband but he still helps take care of me and is a sweetheart) made delish food for both of us! He surprised me with sides!⤵️

Then after dinner, we changed our bedding out for clean bedding, and I took a picture of all my (most bed-top-able) plushies! (Forgot like...2 tiny ones but its ok)⤵️

Bonus: cat surrounded by plushies:⤵️

And now, after a long productive day, a nice bath, a good meal, and a fresh bed, my sleeping spot is ready and I have everything I need at my side when I sleep~🌟⤵️

Now, I wish everyone a cozy night/productive day/lazy comfort day/whatever you want really! Just want to wish you happy vibes and a nice atmosphere! May you get the positivity and comfort you need to stay happy and healthy, everyone!👋

No dni banner yet but sfw interactions only please.

[suddenlysomewherethatsgreen]

[io-lu-art]

A tale of Ba Sing Se.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[m3djed]

"he would not fucking say that" but you ever be looking at fanart and suddenly its "he would not fucking have abs"

[and-corn]

shoutout to the "foolproof" bread recipe I fucked up entirely for inspiring this

[teaboot]

Whoever needs to hear this. Please know.

"Closed at 6pm" does not mean "The entry door locks up at 6, but if you're already inside you can keep on shopping."

It means, "you should be finished and out of the store at 6pm."

This is not up for debate

This is just how things work

[mebssann]

local old man finally gets new clothes

[theartofmadeline]

happy pride! this dragon is gay <3

[petricorah]

why wear a huge ass overcoat when you can just hold your crush's hand? [ids in alt]

kinda wanna make the last panel a standee lol

[nonasuch]

hey did I ever post the best business card I’ve ever been given by a customer?

a woman wanted me to let her know if I had a particular item in storage, and she went to get a card out of her purse and went ‘oh no. I’m out of my work cards, I’m so sorry about this’ and handed me this:

apparently her husband made them for her as a joke but then she just had like 300 of them so they’re her backups when she runs out of her real business cards.

[guooey]

they are like beautiful tropical birds to me

[kaogens]

static

[millidew]

his change in career has captivated me

bonus:

[sabertoothwalrus]

I think it’s really cute that Mickbell called Chilchuck a greedy old geezer and was like ‘nyeh nyeh 😠🖕fuck you’ and was giving him the stinkeye from a distance when their parties met up.

and despite that, Chilchuck had no hesitations about taking him to hide in safety. and then they were chill enough to talk shit with each other later lol