#that could be WELL OVER 500K

[icannotgetoverbirds]

a silly little fanfic i write in my head! i tell myself. no big deal, helps me get to sleep at night without being bored.

why don't i write it down? that could be fun! i tell myself. nobody else has to read it.

i want certain things to happen plot-wise, about how long is it gonna take for that to work? hm...

*a few simple math equations later*

oh. that's a lot of words.

well, might as well publish at this point! i tell myself. still a silly little fanfic that just happens to be incredibly long

*a few months later*

...

there is not a sigh deep enough for the shit i've gotten into.

ever fanfic so hard you make 6 fucking spreadsheets?

each with about... 33 pages?

Nearly 200 pages of information to fill out. why have i done this to myself

[sexybritishllama]

in further neopets discord news, oh boy is there drama in my awful virtual pet game website today. strap in if you want way too much information on neopets’ broken economy

for some context, an event has just launched called the faerie festival. this is the first event to be run by the ‘new’ TNT (aka. the neopets team aka. the staff) since the leadership change, and they've said in recent editorials that this year’s faerie festival is going to be a combo of two previous popular events:

the faerie quest event, wherein people can get a free quest from a faerie every day in exchange for a reward (something that’s normally limited to random special events and therefore quite rare)

the charity corner, a highly requested event that hasn’t run since 2020, where you can donate random items to get points that can then be exchanged in a prize shop

there’s a LOT of ultimately worthless items on neopets that people gather from doing dailies and things, but charity corner actually gave a use to hoarding all of these, so people have wanted it back for ages. people have been going out of their way to hoard extra junk items for like 2 months now, after TNT teased the event in an editorial

this event was originally meant to start on 20th august, but got delayed 2 weeks, presumably because of issues behind the scenes. people were generally a bit disappointed but relieved if this meant they were going to get a proper, well prepared event without bugs

flash forward to 2nd october, the actual start of the event. nothing actually opens up for several hours on the day- that’s somewhat waved off by the fact that staff presumably need to be in the office to launch everything, a midnight launch isn’t expected

but, eventually, it opens!

well… kinda. there’s one page with one dialogue scene available and a link to an event page for spending neocash (the premium currency that costs irl money). the faerie quest page is giving out free daily quests, which is nice, but literally just the same as they did back in 2020. where’s the item recycling part? did this really need 2 weeks of delay?

the next day, the FAQ page for the event is published neopets support site (but not announced via news). still no sign of the actual event starting- seems like that might not be until moday?

as well as multiple grammatical errors, the FAQ had a few… concerning elements. most notably:

only 10 items could be donated per day

points would be awarded based on the rarity of the item, with the maximum rarity being r200-500, worth 15 points each

this meant people's hoarding of junk items for months was... essentially useless

r200-500 items basically means either hidden tower items (rare, expensive items that can only be bought in an account age locked shop with a purchase limit of 1 per day) orrrr….. neocash items. In other words, players could either spend an exorbinate amount of their in-game currency to buy up items to donate, or they could just hand over their credit card and pay to win

people were Not Happy about this

not long after info spread and the outcry started (and a sizeable number of people cancelled their premium membership in protest), the FAQ was quietly updated to remove mention of donating neocash items. that took away to pay to win element at least

however, now there was a new problem. a tombola man problem.

i mentioned already that the highest rarity items are pretty rare and expensive. one of the least expensive of these is an item called the Squeezy Tombola Guy Toy. you can probably see where this is going already

because you can only buy a maximum of one tombola guy per day from the hidden tower, your only option if you want to buy more than that in a day is to go to user shops. however, in light of the event, people had already started buying and hoarding tombola guy toys. equally, others were buying them purely to sell at a profit. this made the perfect storm and caused the price of the tombola guy toy, which was normally 110k NP, to explode up to 500k, 600k, even 700k within just one day

BUT THEN THE FAQ GOT UPDATED AGAIN. surprise, you can now donate 30 items per day! also they just got rid of the highest rarity tier altogether. the maximum you can get for an item is now 8 points, for rarity r102-r179.

this has now made the squeezy tombola guy toys useless. unless you’re a collector they don’t serve any function beyond that of a normal neopets toy (of which there’s thousands of much cheaper options). the price has now plummeted down to BELOW what it originally was and many users now have piles and piles of the dolls sitting in their inventory, mocking them

so what now? well, because no one ever learns, everyone is now flocking to what is now the cheapest high-rarity item eligible for donation. most are going for omelettes, which have a few different options at r102+. these have also inflated by like 400% from before the event, but unlike the squeeze tombola guys, these are only worth a few thousand neopoints, so not as bad a potential loss in comparison

it’s worth noting that while all this is going on in preparation for the recycling event, neopets is also experiencing insane inflation in a lot of other items right now, including those required for people to complete faerie quests. for example, a Griefer, which cost 5000 np just last week, is now worth selling for 1 MILLION

So yeah. 3 days into the event and that’s where we are so far. who knows what tomorrow might bring

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

Nobody asked me for my opinion on the controversy that dropped today when the Sonic Movie cast pay rate was revealed, which is fair ig since I try to stay positive on this blog. But in case you're wondering, yeah as a certified AFAB™ I'm pissed, but not really specifically at the Sonic crew. Actor pay rates are usually negotiated between agents and the production companies so just like all the other problems with the Sonic movies, this is most likely an issue with Paramount and their patented dumbfuckery. Disclaimer that obviously it could very well be a Sonic crew issue as well, obviously I don't know the inner workings of the entire film production.

Also, if you're mad about this: please be mad about the pay gap that has been going on as long as Hollywood has been alive. This isn't a problem unique to the SCU. I know the phrase "pay gap" is thrown around a whole lot but do you guys actually know how big an issue it is?

Recent percentages are that male and female actors have "a wage difference of about 25 percent," with an estimated difference of $1-2million between star-power men and star-power women.[x][x] Basic Instinct star Sharon Stone said she made $500k to Michael Douglas's $14mil– and when she was asked to be lead in a film being made in ~2022, the lead male, who was "new", was going to be paid $8-9mil, with her salary still at $500k. Last December, Biggest Monopoly In The World Disney was sued by 9,000 women over their pay gap.

This article is from 2019 but brings up some big fucking pay gaps between leads– for instance, Gillian Anderson was offered half of what David Duchovny was for the X-Files reboot as one of the two main fucking characters, Amanda Seyfried has disclosed she made 10% of what her male co-star made on an undisclosed film, Natalie Portman made 1/3 of the salary of Ashton Kutcher in No Strings Attached, and Ellen Pompeo, the titular character of Grey's Anatomy, was paid less than the actor playing her love interest, Patrick Dempsey. In fact, Dempsey was being paid almost double what she was.

However, BIG issue with the 2019 article: it only focuses on what White actors are being paid. Research shows that Black actresses make 57 cents to every dollar white actors make on a good day. Viola Davis, one of the most popular and talented actresses of our generation, has said that black women "get probably a tenth of what a Caucasian woman gets. And I'm number one on the call sheet." Octavia Spencer had to collaborate with Jessica Chastain to make sure they both got paid the same amount of money on a film they both worked on, and revealed that her new salary increased 500% afterwards.

At the end of last year, while promo-ing The Color Purple, Taraji P. Henson broke into tears while talking about how little she's being paid when compared to her white and male contemporaries. And when she talked about the gap, I find it so fucking frustrating that the general audience response was to immediately blame the only Black female producer on the film. I have a million gripes with Oprah Winfrey but TCP cast has said that she herself managed to fix a lot of the problems on set and was nothing but supportive to them. Oh, and there were a lot of problems on set, including a lack of food and dressing space for the main actors. And this is all from celebrity women. Just think about how Hollywood is treating women who don't have the star power to speak up.

Of course this isn't even a problem solo to Hollywood, let alone Paramount, let alone just one movie. And honestly it was probably really sad that when I saw the pay rate for the Sonic 3 cast, I wasn't even surprised, because I've seen worse on bigger projects.

[monkey-wrench-series]

One month on; The future of Monkey wrench as a fully animated indie series.

It’s been exactly one month since Ep 3 of Monkey was released to the public, and as the ever want to be as transparent as possible with indie production it’s time we sat down and had a very important discussion on the future of the series…

So, as we said above, one month has passed from the public release of episode 3, and everything hinges on how well it does.

Below are the metrics for it on Youtube;

Our hope was to have ep 3 hit 500k in two weeks. After 31 days we’re still under 470k views, ad rev as you can see is pitiful and engagement has evaporated. Maybe we set our hopes a little too high?

It’s not all doom and gloom though, this is the first ep to get this many views in this amount of time. Our patreon support has grown by 1/3 after the ep came out and our Scratch & Scritch plushies did ok, see images below;

So as of now, we have enough money for voices, sound and music for episode 4. Voice recording begins next week and I hope to start the animatic for the ep sometime after.

As for the animation portion of production… things are looking a little tricky.

As you should know, animation, especially frame by frame stuff like we do, it’s obscenely time intensive and expensive. For ep 3 we had a rough animation rate of $20.83 per 1 second of animation and the same for clean up with very minimal edits and redos.

Seeing the recent animation pay discourse has honestly shaken us up pretty bad, we had no idea how pitiful our pay had been compared to other indies and we in no way want to exploit anyone for their work on the series.

With both Ash and I putting everything we had saved in Eps 1, 2 and 3 and seeing how below average they’ve all performed and with how little we can afford to pay our animators, on top of burning myself out horrifically doing 3 eps in a row, we’ve sadly had to come to the conclusion that full animation for this series is no longer financially possible at our current support level.

That does not mean we’re stopping production, however.

There are two possible routes we can take;

Route 1; Animatic hybrid.

Over the past week and a half I managed to solo out 5 minutes and 15 seconds of animatic keyframe animation for our recently released outtakes video.

At our current support level I can do the animatic keyframe route for most of the mundane stuff in an ep, and then go into full animation for the ‘good bits’, that way we can pay our animators an actual decent wage. Over time if our support grows we can return to full animation.

Route 2: Kickstart ep 4 for $100k

We have thought about doing a kickstarter type thing to get the $100,000 we’d need for the animation portion of the ep. We want to pay our animators properly for their time and skill and this would be the best route to go if we want to have ep 4 fully animated.

However with our current viewership and engagement with eps 1, 2 and 3 I’m not sure we could hit a goal of $100,000 in the 30 days we need.

Is it a risk worth taking?

What would we do for rewards?

Physical rewards would take money away from animation production and things like animated rewards would take time away from myself working on the ep.

That’s pretty much where my mind has been at the past few days. I’d love to hear your input and thoughts on how you would like us to proceed.

[lubrumalis]

konig headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw

all of these are realistic hc! dont expect a normal konig

hes NOT a shy awkward pushover, just because he has social anxiety??? we can see through his voice lines hes a very cocky person and speaks rather agressively

“lets be honest, its better off in my hands.”

i hc that just because konig has social anxiety, he doesn’t express this through bring soft and shy, he expresses it through his bluntness

konig wanted to be a sniper but did not because he couldn’t stand still, has social anxiety, i hc he has some form of adhd

his very cocky and blunt shouting isn’t because hes mean, but he just doesnt wanna be seen as that bullied kid he once was

hes doesnt have horrible EQ, but the kind of guy to be incredibly unfiltered

also, this guy was literally assigned as a human battering ram, you think hes all soft and sweet???😅😅😅

no he won’t get angry or cry if his mask is taken off. just annoyed.

its not actually canon that konig is a colonel (correct me if im wrong, i couldnt find anything on the official wiki) but lets assume hes one anyway

even if he isnt, gets paid well. really well.

private military companies that deploy soldiers in areas of active conflict can pay up to hundreds of thousands for one soldier

considering konigs age (late 30s at least) and skills, probably 400-500k a year.

chose to join the military because he had an obsession with tanks and guns as a kid

a lot of hc’s say hes 6’10. i disagree, simply based off of chances and the fact thats wayyyy too tall for the military

but he was described as a mountain, so id say his height is around 6’5-6’8

very very intimidating. hes tall big and has the mask of an executioner in the 15th century. who wouldn’t be scared?

definitely will say some random german word in a situation where no one else there knows german. he doesn’t give a damn lol

hates americans (thinks theyre all obese, mannerless, and bad at geography)

brings up the most random topics. again i really think konig has adhd.

konig was not good at school and hated it, mainly due to the anxiety and how he couldn’t pay attention

also why he chose the path of a soldier

drinks lots of beer, high alcohol tolerance, this guys a true european.

loves austrian or german food. loves schnitzel and pies.

konigs breakfast is literally sausages, toast, eggs, and sometimes beer

BIG APPETITE. he could eat for 3 people.

a little insecure about his appearance, not confident in his looks :( also why he hid his face

but as he grew older he uses the mask for actual purposes of concealing his identity, he is a special ops soldier after all

kind of a cheapskate. he chose to hide his face with what, polyester? chose a piece of cloth over everything else.

has very conservative beliefs. not to the point where he hates abortion and votes far right, konig is just a little confused about some things certain liberals believe in

pretty political person lmao

not enough info to conclude whether or not konig was abused as a kid tbh

he was definitely miserable for a period in his life. hes in the military living a monotone life, barely any contact with others, and constantly living in fear he’d die

i dont think hes as traumatized as ghost tho🙂🙂

konig appreciates his dna and how it makes him big and tall, but sometimes gets incredibly annoyed at it

mainly because well, he got bullied for itas a kid

because he specializes in hostage rescue a lot of hostages (especially kids) are scared of him and refuse to leave the area with him

takes a lot of convincing 🥲🥲

has a lot of intrusive thoughts

cannot use social media properly

also texts like an old grandpa. uses 😂 and 🤣 unironically.

“Can we have burgers 🍔 tonight🌃?”

probably uses a blackberry or reallyyyyy old iphone

relationship hcs:

konigs voice actor (jim boeven) stated in a livestream that konigs wife would ideally be a mix between maria pedraza (actress) and rachael from blade runner (character from movie).

both are 170cm ish and brunettes

i can actually see that—konig is massive and he probably prefers someone on the tall side

first thing you did that led to your relationship with him? you tolerated him that is. listened to him ranting😃

i can see him with a civilian or someone whos in the military tbh

finds you pretty at first

enjoys bickering, he needs someone to simulate his mind

you know those stories where his s/o is 5’2, clingy, soft af, and neeeeeeeds konig? haha you won’t be getting that from me.

unlike ghost, who really takes his time to get to know someone and opens up slowly, scared to have his trust broken again

konig charges in like the human battering ram he is😁

if he has a feeling you’re trustworthy you are trustworthy.

horrible at flirting. he doesn’t know how to talk to women smoothly

needs someone equally as weird and funny

s/o needs to be someone with very firm boundaries and can stand their ground, i think konigs a really stubborn person, so for a healthy relationship to work, s/o can’t be the generic bimbo

konig wears the pants in the relationship

doesn’t let you pay. he has a enough money and believes men should always pay

(im sorry to break your delusions) konig does not strike to me as someone who likes a docile homebody. thats ghost (if you remove the word docile).

he doesn’t like extremely dominant partners either

imagine someone who is a listener, accepting yet blunt, shares his quirks, and has a very elegant feel to them

also someone very independent

also gonna get killed for this but konig would realistically not go for a girl in her early twenties. he prefers elegance and sophistication over being cute and jumpy

hates one night stands.

values relationships more than you think. he can come off as strong at first, but hes trying his best

ecstatic when you tell him you wanna learn german (hes not a good teacher)

doesn’t like play fighting, he thinks he’s gonna accidentally hurt you

admires you a lot. he knows hes not the best looking person and doesn’t understand the makeup skincare dress up thing.

isn’t paranoid, but definitely doesn’t say he has an s/o

if you ever get mad at him, konig will tighten all jars in the kitchen so you have to ask him for help :)

extremely unfiltered. he hates your cooking? he will say it. that dress looks better than the other? he will say it.

[joekeeryswife]

Love island Episode one: Coupling up.

a/n: it’s here! thank you to everyone who voted over this past week. here is the love island series. Mason has his pretty prince hair😍. villa is the 2019 UK love island villa, it will get better but i wanted to get the coupling up over with. anyways sorry if there is any mistakes, enjoy reading 🩰

you’d never been this nervous before. sure you’d been nervous but never this bad. you had been scouted for love island by the producers and you thought you’d give it a go. you had a pretty big following being a model/influencer with just over 500k followers and this would be the perfect opportunity for you to finally find love instead of focusing on your job.

you walked into the villa in you hot pink bikini, you picked it because it would stand out and that’s what you wanted to do. you wanted to make a good first impression on whoever was in here. you made your way to the garden and saw four other girls meaning you were the last to enter before you saw Maya Jama.

“hey everyone” you said making the four girls turn towards you and scream with excitement. they met you halfway and one by one introduced themselves to you. “i’m Molly nice to meet you” she kissed you on the cheek and hugged you closely. the next girl hugged you “hi im Chloe” she hugged you.

“i’m Anna” she hugged you and kissed your cheek and then you finally moved onto the last girl “im Amber nice to meet you” you didn’t know what it was but the girls even though you hadn’t been in there long had all made you feel welcome already.

“i’m y/n, nice to meet you all” you were still nervous as Molly poured you a drink. “so, tell us about you y/n. what’s your type?” you took a sip of the champagne before starting. “well, i’m 22, in a model and influencer. my type is tall, tattoos, brown hair brown eyes, tanned skin, someone who’s athletic and don’t think i’m weird but i love noses” the girls laughed.

“don’t worry y/n, i’m with you on that one” Chloe laughed. “tell me about you girls then, we are gonna be living together for a while” you tucked your hair behind your ear as you listened to them.

Chloe started “well, i’m 25, i’m a marketing executive. my type is anyone who is taller than me to be honest. i don’t really have a type i usually go for. i like anyone, and i do have a thing for noses” you laughed again knowing that this was gonna be a recurring thing that you would all speak about.

“as you know i’m Molly, i’m 23 and i’m an influencer. my usual type is a tall brunette but i’m open to get to know everyone here” you nodded and then Anna started talking. “so i’m a pharmacist and my usual type is anyone taller than me, because i’m so tall i want someone taller than me”

to be honest Anna was very tall so it wasn’t a shock that she’d want someone taller than her. lastly Amber started talking “i’m a beautician so i do facials, lashes, lip filler, everything like that and my usual type is tall dark and handsome, i don’t know how else to explain it” you all laughed and then you all heard a voice behind you.

“hello girls” you turned towards the voice and saw Maya standing there. a few of the girls screamed, seeing her made this experience feel so much more real. “how about we all gather around the fire pit and have a chat?” all of you made your way over to the fire pit and sat down.

“so, Amber, tell me, how are you feeling about being here? are you nervous? excited?” Amber nodded “yeah i’m excited because you never know who’s gonna come through that door like it could be the love of my life” her gordie accent thick as she spoke.

you all laughed and nodded, you really never knew who was about to come through the door. “Chloe, do you think you could meet someone here? or are you skeptical about it all” Chloe shrugged “i’m pretty skeptical but i’m optimistic about the whole thing. i’m excited to meet everyone else”

“okay well, are we ready to meet some boys?” you all cheered and made your way over to the five love hearts that were by the pool. you were on the fourth heart in between Anna and Chloe. “right, remember girls that you can step forward for the guy you like but he can pick any one of you even if you don’t step forward” Maya spoke so you understood the rules.

“let’s welcome our first boy Ovie” you all looked toward the door and saw him, he was very good looking. you all clapped as he made his way down the steps. “you girls doing alright?” you all said yes as he stood next to Maya. “so girls, step forward if you like the look of Ovie” you looked at the girls and saw Anna, Chloe and Amber step forward.

“wow three girls stepping forward already. Amber, why did you step forward?” Maya questioned “he’s just really good looking, definitely my type” Ovie was shocked that three girls stepped forward for him. he was hoping for at least one let alone three.

“y/n, why didn’t you step forward?” you blushed “now don’t get me wrong you’re very good looking but i just want to see the other options before i step forward for someone” Ovie and Maya nodded understanding where you were coming from.

“okay Ovie you have three beautiful girls who have stepped forward for you but who have you decided you are going to pick?” he was silent for a few minutes before he finally spoke up “the girl i would like to couple up with is Anna” Anna clapped with excitement that Ovie picked her. to be honest when they stood next to each other they looked perfect together.

“okay, next boy we have coming in is Toby” you all clapped again as he made his way down the steps and you heard Chloe whisper ‘oh my god’. she liked him for definite. “okay girls, if you like the look of Toby please step forward” straight away Chloe stepped forward. Chloe was the only one who stepped forward for Toby.

“okay ones not bad” he said making you frown but you quickly changed your face back to normal. “Toby you have Chloe who has stepped forward for you, would you like to couple up with Chloe or would you like to couple up with someone else?” Maya said fidgeting on her feet.

“Chloe is beautiful so i’m going to couple up with Chloe” you all clapped as Toby made his way over to Chloe and he kissed her on her cheek. Chloe blushed and smiled happily that Toby picked her.

“Molly why haven’t you stepped forward for any of the boys?” Maya asked looking at her intensely. “they just aren’t my type really, i bet they’re lovely but i’m just waiting for that spark straight away” Maya nodded “okay well i think you may like this next boy then, please welcome Tommy”

Molly gasped as he made his way down the steps, she was in shock at how good looking he was. “okay girls, if you like the look of Tommy please step forward” Amber and Molly stepped forward. “wow two girls, didn’t expect that” Tommy said smiling widely. “well, Molly and Amber have stepped forward for you Tommy, who would you like to couple up with? remember you can pick someone who has stepped forward for you, in a couple or even a girl who hasn’t stepped forward.

Tommys eyes scanned through the girls before making his decision. “i would like to couple up with Molly” she jumped a little as Tommy picked her. “thank you for picking me” Molly said as she gave Tommy a hug and he kissed her on the cheek. “you’re welcome beautiful” she blushed brightly.

“okay girls, last two boys. y/n, do you think you will step forward? you haven’t stepped forward for anyone” you nodded “i know, i feel bad but no one has really caught my eye yet” Maya understood “hopefully someone will catch you eye” you agreed.

“okay girls welcome Curtis” you didn’t even like the sound of that name right off the bat and seeing him just solidified that for you. he was not your type at all. “okay girls, if you like the look of Curtis please step forward” you were not stepping forward. you didn’t want to just step forward because you had too, you were here for yourself.

it was silent for a few minutes and sadly no one stepped forward for Curtis. his smile faltered slightly before he quickly put it back on his face. “oh Curtis i’m sorry” Maya said and he just shrugged it off “it’s no bother, they just haven’t gotten to know me yet.” he replied.

��okay well don’t worry, you can couple up with any of these girls. who would you like to couple up with?” Maya continued “i would like to couple up with y/n” your heart dropped but you didn’t show your sadness, you just had to get on with it.

Curtis made his way over to you and gave you an awkward hug. “y/n, how are you feeling?” god you hated that she had to ask you that “oh uhh, i’m glad i got picked but i just didn’t see that initial attraction but i guess i don’t know Curtis?” you sounded like you were questioning yourself.

“okay well, let’s see our next boy. please welcome Mason” you turned your head toward the door and your heart started beating. there he was and you were in shock at how pretty he was. “hey everyone” he said, even his voice was sexy. “girls, if you like the look of Mason please step forward” straight away you stepped forward as did Chloe and Amber followed.

“wow y/n, i’m shocked. you actually stepped forward for someone” you blushed and laughed. “well, it glad she did step forward for me” Mason winked at you and you felt weak. he was making you feel things you’d never felt before.

“Mason you have the choice to couple up with any of these girls, who would you like to couple up with?” Mason answered straight away “y/n” you were ecstatic. “that means Curtis automatically couples up with Amber” Curtis walked over to Amber and Mason made his way over to you and kissed you on the cheek and pulled you into a nice hug. “nice to meet you” he said as you stepped back to the heart.

“nice to meet you too. thank you for choosing me” your body felt hot, he was the perfect man by looks, and he had a nice nose. “well, you’re a beautiful girl. i’m excited to get to know you” you locked eyes with him, his eyes were dark brown but in the sunlight you could see golden hues which were so pretty.

“okay guys, everyone is now coupled up. i’ll leave you too it and remember, if you don’t get to know anyone your place in the villa may be at risk. good luck” with that Maya left and it felt even more real. “should we go over to the swing? i want to know more about you” you nodded your head and smiled. Mason grabbed ahold of your hand and the two of you headed over to the swing.

*to be continued*

[sturniololoco]

can you please do a younger sister fic where reader is in videos and gets a lot of hate comments?

Hate

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: Hate, body shaming, eating disorder, crying, etc.

SLS/N’s POV

“Oh my gosh Chris! Stop! That’s so gross!” I yelled at my brother as he burped in my face.

He laughed in return, trying to shield himself from my solid punch in the arm.

“Alright guys! That has been today’s video, I hope you all enjoys having our special guest in our video today-“ Nick started to say, giving the video it’s usual outro.

I waved to the camera before turning back to Chris and continued beating him up. Matt laughed and joined in while Nick finished talking to the camera.

-

laying in the darkness of my room at 1:30 in the morning, I opens my lap top and went to my brothers YouTube channel.

The video from earlier already had 500k views. Getting happy, I scrolled through the comment section to see what people thought of the video.

Omg yay!

Ew why’d they bring her??

Oh my lord Matt and Chris are so hooooot!!!

wow what a fatty

worst special guest ever

boring next

3467 more ⬇️

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I slammed my lap top shut.

I scrambled to the bathroom, trying to forget the feeling of sadness and dread pool in my stomach.

But I was instantly reminded when I made eye contact with myself in the bathroom mirror.

Wow you really are huge, I thought as I turned to my side, examining myself.

I quickly ran to my bed, desperately trying to fall asleep and get the thoughts out of my head.

-

“Woah, you look rough.” Chris said as I walked into the living room, sitting in the couch and pulling out my phones.

I rolled my eyes at him and shrugged, trying to hide my face behind my hair.

“Hey, sis. I made you a bagel.” Nick said, walking into the living room, sitting next to me, and handing me a paper plate.

I took it and mumbled my thanks to him. My brothers dug into their breakfast, but I just looked at mine, not being able to bring myself to eat it.

Do you know how many calories is in cream cheese?!?

-

“Hey, you okay?” Matt asked me, seeing how I had only taken about 2 and a half bite of my bagel.

“What- oh yeah…I’m good.” I say, nodding my head, trying to sound convincing. He gives me a suspicious look but I quickly play it off.

“I’m not very hungry today, I had snuck early this morning before I went back to sleep.” I lied. Matt looked reassured though.

I only had to keep this up till I was skinny and perfect, shouldn’t be that hard.

The only problem would be keeping this from my brothers.

-

it been a week.

A very, very long week.

Keeping this secret from my brothers just kept getting harder and harder, but I was learning.

“SLS/N! Dinners ready!” Nick yelled up the stairs.

“I need to finish up my project, I’ll be down in a second!” I yelled back. It was a complete lie, I finished the project three days ago.

This excuse would usually work, and he’d save my dinner on a plate. I’d then take it up to my room, and throw it away.

I sat on my bed, computer out, acting like I was doing work.

-

“I need to go switch the laundry, I’ll be right back okay.” Matt said as I started to unpack my dinner about an hour later. I nodded and he went into the laundry room.

I had to be quick.

I chucked my plate up side down into the trash, then covered it with wet paper towels so Chris wouldn’t get suspicious when he took the trash out.

I heard Matt begin to walk upstairs, so this gave me even more time to finish the dishes and clean the kitchen.

-

“SLS/N! Come up here please!” I hear Matt call.

he didn’t sound happy thought. I quickly rush up the stairs and walk to my room.

I open my door to see Matt standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a disappointed look on his face. Chris was sitting on my bed, leaning forward with his head in his hands. Nick was holding my trash can in his hands, looking at me with a scared look in his eyes.

I felt dread pool in the bottom of my stomach.

“SLS/N? When’s the last time you ate?” Matt asked slowly.

he looked up at me and I could see tears in the brims of his eyes.

Then I broke.

“I-I can’t do I-i’t!” I said, crumpling onto the floor in sobs.

Matt rushed to my side, kneeling in front of me. “Shh, it’s okay I’m right here.” He says, whispering sweet word in my ears as I calm down.

“SLS/N…What happened?” Chris asked when my breathing had gone back to normal.

I told them all about the hate comments on the video, how they made me feel, and how they hurt me.

“I just hate the way it made me feel. So I thought that I change, it would be easier.” I rambled, tears still flowing out of my eyes.

“SLS/N, starving yourself is not easier, I promise. You’re not perfect, nobody is, so we can’t always have least everyone. Next time we need you to talk to us.” Nick said, coming over to join us, sitting on the floor.

I nodded my head, my lip quivering, afraid if I said a word, the sobs would come back.

Chris came over, wrapping his arms around us all in a great hug.

“We’re always here for you sis, no matter what.” Chris whispered.

omg I’m so sorry if this was shitty. I think I wrote it 30 mins 😭 I promise better content will be coming starting Wednesday.

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq

[mostlysignssomeportents]

John Deere's repair fake-out

Last week, a seeming miracle came to pass: John Deere, the Big Ag monopolist that — along with Apple — has led the Axis of Evil that killed, delayed and sabotaged dozens of Right to Repair laws, sued for peace, announcing a Memorandum of Understanding with the American Farm Bureau Federation to make it easier for farmers to fix their own tractors:

https://www.fb.org/files/AFBF_John_Deere_MOU.pdf

This is a move that’s both badly needed and long overdue. Deere abuses copyright law to force farmers to pay for official repairs — even when the farmer does the repair. That’s possible thanks to a practice called VIN locking, in which engine parts come with DRM that prevents the tractor from recognizing them until they pay hundreds of dollars for a John Deere technician to come to their farm and type an unlock code into the tractor’s console:

https://doctorow.medium.com/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors-bc93f471b9c8

Like all DRM, VIN locks are covered by Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), a 1998 law that criminalizes distributing tools to bypass “access controls,” even if you do so for a lawful purpose (say, to fix your own tractor using a part you paid for). Violations of DMCA 1201 carry a penalty of 5 years in prison and a $500k fine — for a first offense.

This means that Deere owners are locked into using Deere for repairs, which also means that if Deere decides something isn’t broken, a farmer can’t get it fixed. This is very bad news indeed, because John Deere tractors are just computers in a fancy, mobile case, and John Deere is incredibly bad at digital security:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

That’s scary stuff, because John Deere is a monopolist, and a successful attack on the always-connected, networked tractors and other equipment it supplies to the world’s farmers could endanger the global food supply.

Deere doesn’t want to make insecure tractors, but it also doesn’t want to be embarrassed by security researchers who point out that its security is defective. Because security researchers have to bypass Deere tractors’ locks to probe their security, Deere can leverage DMCA1201 into a veto over who gets to warn the public about the mistakes it made.

It’s not just security researchers that Deere gets to gag: the company uses its repair monopoly to threaten farmers who complain about its business practices, holding their million-dollar farm equipment hostage to their silence:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

This all adds up to what Jay Freeman calls “felony contempt of business model,” an abuse of copyright law that allows a monopolistic corporation to reach beyond its own walls and impose its will on it customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

If Deere was finally suing for peace in the Repair Wars, well, that was wonderful news indeed — as I said, a seeming miracle.

But — like all miracles — it was too good to be true.

The MOU that Deere and the Farm Bureau signed is full of poison pills, gotchas, fine-print and mendacity, as Lauren Goode documents in her Wired article, “Right-to-Repair Advocates Question John Deere’s New Promises”:

https://www.wired.com/story/right-to-repair-advocates-question-john-deeres-new-promises/

For starters, the MOU makes the Farm Bureau promise to end its advocacy for state Right to Repair bills, which would create a repair system governed by democratically accountable laws, not corporate fiat. Clearly, Deere has seen the writing on the wall, after the passage in 2002 of Right to Repair laws in New York and Colorado:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/when-drm-comes-your-wheelchair

These two bills broke the corporate anti-repair coalition’s winning streak, which saw dozens of state R2R bills defeated:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/26/nixing-the-fix/#r2r

Deere’s deal-with-the-devil is a cynical ploy to brake R2R’s momentum and ensure that any repairs are carried out on Deere’s terms. Now, about those terms…

Deere’s deal offers independent repair shops access to diagnostic tools and parts “on fair and reasonable terms,” a murky phrase that can mean whatever Deere decides it means. Crucially, the deal is silent on whether Deere will supply the tools needed to activate VIN locks, meaning that farmers will still be at Deere’s mercy when they effect their own repairs.

What’s more, the deal itself isn’t legally binding, and Deere can cancel it at any time. Once you dig past the headline, the Deere’s Damascene conversion to repair advocacy starts to look awfully superficial — and deceptive.

One person who wasn’t fooled is sick.codes, the hacker who has done the most important work on reverse-engineering Deere’s computer systems, culminating in last summer’s live, on-stage hack of a John Deere tractor at Defcon:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/15/deere-in-headlights/#doh-a-deere

Shortly after the announcement, Sick.codes tweeted how the fine-print in the MOU would have prevented him from doing the work he’s already done (including “a direct stab at me lol”):

https://twitter.com/sickcodes/status/1612484935495057409

As with other instances of monopolistic, corporate copyfraud — like, say, the deceptive Open Gaming License — the John Deere capitulation is really a bid to take away your rights, dressed up as a gift of more rights:

https://mostlysignssomeportents.tumblr.com/post/706163316598407168/good-riddance-to-the-open-gaming-license

[Image ID: Hieronymus Bosch's painting, 'The Conjurer.' The Conjuror's shell-game table holds a small John Deere tractor that the audience of yokels gawps at. One yokel is wearing a John Deere hat. The conjurer is holding a wrench.]

[lisenberry]

Blend In

Suggestive/Explicit Language, Mystery 141 x F!Reader.

MDNI!

1111k words (heavy on the -ish)

For @the-californicationist Nameless Challenge!

Congrats on 500K words, Cali!!

Put your guess in the comments as to who you think it is!

You had no idea why you’d been chosen for this assignment, but you were not going to argue.  Certainly not with him.

Keeping any doubts to yourself, you checked the mirror in the bathroom one last time before exiting into the hotel room you shared with your teammate.  Well, not your teammate yet, but if all went well, your fingers were crossed for a spot on his elite task force. 

“What do you think, sir?”

As a mere corporal, just about everyone had a higher rank than you.  There was the distinguished Captain Price, Lieutenant Riley, Sergeant Garrick and Sergeant MacTavish.  Big (huge) shoes to fill, but you were ready to prove yourself.

“It’ll…do,” he muttered, turning his head quickly towards the surveillance equipment set up on the nearby desk.  “And don’t call me that.  We’re undercover, remember?” 

“Do I get a code name or something?  You all have badass nicknames, and I’m just...the new girl.”  You shrugged your shoulders and tried not to fuss over the plunging depth of your neckline that barely covered your pushed-up boobs, or the uncomfortable way the fabric hugged your hips.

“No, New Girl is the new girl.  You’re—Ah, fuck.  Here we go.  Time to get out there.”  He picked up something on the camera feed of the hotel’s ballroom and pointed to it with his finger.  “Target’s moving.”

“Who picked this dress?  I thought I was supposed to blend in.  It’s obscene for a wedding.”

“Not for an oligarch’s wedding.  Tits up, back straight, and do your job.”  He gave you one last look over, dragging his gaze up to meet yours, finally, before giving you an encouraging nod.

“Aye, aye.  Sir.”  You couldn’t help but add the last with a bold smirk.  Maybe it was the dress, or the mission, or the unexpected glint in his eye, but you had a good feeling about this.

********

You’d been gone for only ten minutes, and he was already doubting every aspect of this assignment.  As the only fluent Russian speaker who didn’t scream special forces in the ranks, you’d been the easy choice.  But you were also soft around the edges, and sweet as hell, with a smile and an inner kindness that would lower anyone’s defenses. 

What the fuck you were doing in the military, or how you’d made it this far, he had yet to figure out.

He’d only agreed to this at all because the stakes were low, as was the risk of danger.  All you needed was a cigarette butt or a discarded champagne glass.   A piece of cutlery left behind on a tray.  Even just a partial fingerprint would be enough for Laswell to make a positive ID.

He was not prepared for you to strike up a conversation with the third most lethal psychopath on the watch list, or let him put his hand on your ass and squeeze you close to his hips as he whispered suggestively in your ear. 

“Careful, sweetling,” your commanding officer gritted low into his radio.  The comms device in your ear was undetectable, but he didn’t want to startle you or alert the target that you were in contact with someone.

It could also pick up your conversation, not that he understood any of what you were saying.   It seemed to be mostly flirty banter and coy laughter.  The man was obviously trying to get in you back to his room.

He didn’t know much Russian, but he knew enough about men’s appetites to get the idea.  He’d had his own thoughts, just the good sense not to say them out loud.

And he could not believe what he was seeing on the camera.  A sudden, sinking flood of anxiety made him jump in his chair and clench his fists at the stress.  You were going with the man, following him as he escorted you out somewhere beyond the surveillance feed.

“Do not leave that ballroom.  I can’t track you out there.  Get back.  Abort!”

He knew you could hear him, but you weren’t following orders.  Being ignored was most certainly the root of his blinding rage, not his concern for your safety.  Or the hungry way the bastard had looked at you in the dress he’d handpicked himself for the way the color made your skin practically glow. 

The cut and size may have been a miscalculation, he admitted to himself, as he checked the clip in his handgun and hurried toward the door.   

“Fucking hell.  You’re going to get yourself killed, and if you don’t, then I’ll do it myself.  When I get my bloody hands on you, Cupcake, I swear—”

“Cupcake?  That’s the best you can do?”  You stood on the other side of the door, with your hands on your hips as he pulled it open, with a fierceness you’d only heard about from other recruits.

Suddenly directed at you, it was worse than you’d imagined.  He looked ready for war as his words caught in his throat. 

“There you are.  You’re alright?”

“I got his prints on my purse, his DNA on my tits, and a retina scan on my phone.  And his phone, for shits and giggles.”  You quickly held up your loot for his inspection, before he could catch his breath long enough to lecture you on your recklessness.

He swiped a big hand along his mouth for composure, but he still looked like he wanted to kill something.  Mostly you.

“DNA?”  His eyes darkened quickly, somehow even more than before, as he looked from your face to your aforementioned tits.

“Saliva, big guy.  I’m committed, but not that committed.  Calm down.”  But he didn’t of course, because you’d never actually seen him relaxed.  At least not around you. 

You’d heard stories that he was a generally likable bloke once you got to know him.  Earned his trust.  Maybe someday you would get to see that side of him.  From the looks of it, this wasn’t it.

“Your country thanks you for your service.”  He deadpanned, not appreciating your snark.  

“What about you, sir?  Did I make the team?”  You shifted on your heels hopefully, still brimming with energy from knocking out a man twice your size, watching him piss himself, and staging the scene to look like he’d passed out on his own.

“I’ll put in a request to my commanding officer as soon as we get back.” 

“Really?”  You stifled the urge to hug him in your excitement.

“No.  You’re never allowed to leave the base again.”

You weren’t deterred as you rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue behind his back.  You’d wear him down.  One way or another.

[alonetimelover]

HARRY STYLES X BOOKTUBER!READER

When YN started her YouTube channel, she had never thought that it could potentially hit such milestones as 500k views in a few hours or just over 1M subscribers. It all happened because of one video: Harry Styles recommended me some books (well almost). And the rest became this story.

1. Recommendations - social media

The new series on ynrecommends channel caught Harry's attention. From that moment, they are joined at the hip. As friends, right?

2. If he doesn't have books, don't sleep with him - social media

When rumours are spreading about YN's and Harry's relationship, they seem unbothered. Seem, because YN just happened to discover some feelings that she doesn't know how to deal with.

2.5 I can't stop thinking of you - blurb

Everyone makes mistakes. YN knew that last night she made one and wasn't ready to face consequences. Unfortunately, they were at the door. Or well, he was.

more to come

——————————————————————————————

main masterlist taglist

[legendaryrooftopscene]

This is part of the 500k Tankhun lore that lives in my noggin. He has a TBI. It’s from a concussion. Most of his family thinks it happened during his kidnapping. It didn’t. It happened after, when his world was fracturing into thousands of pieces even as the doctors stitched him up. The nightmares and memories got too loud and he just needed it to stop and they had stopped giving him the sedation medication too early (‘we have to keep your mind sharp. You can’t rely on a crutch like this, find a way to push through pain,’ his father had said as the nurse took away the pills) and he just needed it to stop so he stood up and walked over to the wall and slammed his head against it. The thoughts stopped. And when they came back, they were fractured into pieces too, just like the rest of him. They never really stitched themselves back together.

It’s part of the reason Kinn takes over for him. Tankhun is fairly sure that if his father let him attend therapy he could recover from his trauma. Probably not from his paranoia, but a good mafia boss should be paranoid. But Tankhun—always considered to be the smartest of his brothers—couldn’t hold onto details. Timelines were fuzzy. His words got mixed up. He had less control over his emotions. Reading got infinitely harder. A mafia boss could be many things, but sloppy was not one of them. Tankhun could no longer stay organized, and so he could no longer lead the family. So he shut himself into his suite of rooms, a place that he knew from muscle memory so he could never get lost in it, and pivoted his life. He developed his fashion sense and sewing skills. If he couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d worn this shirt or those pants, he might as well make them all flashy and loud enough that no one noticed if they repeated two days in a row. He blamed any of his balance issues and fine motor skill failures on long flowing sleeves, dragging cape trains, and silky gloves. He watched series (easier than reading) and though each one captivated him fully, he struggled to recall the plot after finishing it. So he would watch them again and again. Even a few years later, when he’d learned tricks and ways around his memory problems, watching and re-watching series was a center point of his life, a way to stabilize himself and carry on. He carved a life out for himself until he could hardly remember what it was like Before. He was certain he had been happy Before. But he was also fairly happy now. It was impossible to say, in the foggy realm of his memory, if he was happier now or then. Probably best not to know, he thinks, and picks out another series to watch.

[knightyoomyoui]

NewJeans Hanni x Reader - "What's Your ETA?"

It's really not that obvious who's my bias in NewJeans and what's my recent favorite song of them, right? Righttt? ;)

Your attention was diverted by a ringtone from your phone while you were busy drafting the lyrics for a song you were ready to play for your subscribers as a thank-you present for their support in helping you reach the 500K subscriber milestone on YouTube.

When you took it up off the table, the screen on the ID displayed your friend Haerin's name.

As you read over the lines you've already typed, you swiped the phone to the green button to answer and activated speaker mode.

"Hey Hyerin, what's up?"

"YN! Are you busy?" Hyerin asked with a frantic tone.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you sensed some trouble within Haerin's way of talking at you. "Uhh just writing a song here in my house, not that busy though. Why?"

"Good. C-can you talk to Hanni right now?" Hyerin stuttered because of her uneasiness.

"Why? Is there something happened between the two of you?" You asked curiously. "Sounds like you're nervous, did you two fought?"

"No, I-I mean... we didn't but... I think I pissed her off."

"What did you do then... and wait, what's with the loud noise in the background?" You spotted the only noise barrier that's been keeping you two quite hard to understand each other's words at each other's side of the line.

"Well... I'm at the party with Danielle, Minji, and Hyein. We were invited to perform here." Hyerin explained.

"And why's Hanni not with you four?"

"She said she's not feeling well so we did let her rest." She answered. "And now I'm getting worried for her because that girl's probably breaking down right now of what I've told her."

"And that is?"

Haerin sighed and clicked her tongue, massaging her head. "I reported to her that we saw her b-boyfriend here in the party... and he's flirting with another girl here."

Your blood starts to boil after hearing that information. The emotions intensify as it left distaste on you to learn that the bastard who won Hanni's heart against you still had the audacity to cheat on the most precious girl you've ever met in your whole life.

"How long he's been doing that?"

"More than an hour, I suppose."

"Keep your eyes at them. I'm going to Hanni's house and... say my hi also to the girls."

You heard Haerin passed the message to the other three who were just sitting at the same table together. They exclaimed their greeting at you, making you nod and smile at their adorable voices.

"Got it, oppa."

Haerin took the initiation to end the phone call. You closed your eyes and seethed off the anger rising inside of you as the memories brought you back on remembering those times when he always gets to snatch the opportunity and advantage away from you on winning Hanni's attention to recognize your genuine feelings for your bestfriend. You were a man of sportsmanship. Although it is painful that Hanni didn't end up with you, you tried so hard to accept the fact. You swore to self that you will maintain your attention focused at Hanni every day because who knows there will be a time that despite Hanni has already a man with her, there could be an instance that he's gone and that would put Hanni into a sense of loneliness in the midst of darkness... and you want to be the first person who would come and provide her companionship anytime it may be.

And you were right. It did happen, and it was a perfect time for 'I told you so'. You aren't happy that Hanni had to experience this moment, but at the samd you are relieved and glad that because of what that guy did to her already... you have no other choice but to do your role as her bestfriend and a secret admirer to her: pull her apart from him and do your best to prove her better instead.

Hanni deserves everything that is wonderful in this world, and you are willing to give it all for her as much as you can. This is why you have to do it.

Replacing your house attire with a much presentable casual outfit, you went out of your house and drove your car all the way to the destination which is Hanni's residence.

You parked and hurriedly went to the front door as you knocked slightly aggressive. "Hanni! It's me, YN!"

There was no response. You knocked again, a bit louder in fact, and continued to call her name.

"Hanni! Open the door, please!"

You were having growing suspicions and feeling strange that nobody's responding to your calls so you tried to peek on the windows but it was all covered in curtains, preventing you from the interior.

Picking up your phone, you dialed Hanni's number and waited for it as it rang.

"Cmon... pick it up, pick it up." You said as you tapped your shoes on the ground.

A few seconds after, the profile switches to a timer, informing that the respondent reaches the call. You pressed your phone on your ear and began speaking.

"Hanni! Why are you not in the house?"

"What?"

"I'm here in front of your house. Hyerin said that you're sick. Where did you go?"

"S-so she told you about it too?..." Hanni weakly said. You recognized it immediately what she's referring at.

"Yes, and I came here to check up on you but you weren't here. Where are you now?"

"I just left 3 minutes ago from there." Hanni replied. "I'm on my way to the party."

"Party? Wait, what?" You blurted. "Hanni, you don't need to go there. You have to rest!"

"And what! Just let my boyfriend there flirting along with a girl behind my back?!" Hanni frustratedly complained. "No, YN. I have t-to catch him. I'm going to make him regret what he did to me."

"Hanni, wait. Please, are you serious right now? You're going there all by yourself, and you're even sick right now while you're driving!"

"I'm recovering now! But nothing's gonna stop me from getting back at him." Hanni started to sniff, signalling that she's definitely beginning to cry and it pangs your heart listening to her pain. "I-It hurts... why did he do this to me, YN? I tried to be a great g-girlfriend to him but wasn't... wasn't I enough?"

"Hanni, I understand what you're going through right now okay? Even me dislikes what he did but... again, you're still not in a good condition so far and you're going there alone." You emphatized. "I know you have the girls there monitoring him but I just... let me be on your side like I always do for you, Hanni. I want to join and assist you on this because you mean a lot for me."

Hanni's heart swelled at your sweet and kind words. She smiled a little aside from the cruel situation she's in as of now. "T-thank you, YN."

"No problem, Hanni. Now tell me, do you know the location of the party?"

"i know, it was my former classmate's residence which is a close friend of Hyerin." Hanni said. "I-I'll give you the address."

"Alright, I'll try to catch up on you. Just... when you are already there, don't go there all by yourself. W-wait for me, please. Okay?"

"O-okay."

She ended the call and sent the message directly to you. You sighed heavily and lowered your head as the echoes of her pitiful somber repeats inside your head. It motivated you to help her in this current tough time she's dealing at.

You were about to enter the car when a kid suddenly appeared beside you, tugging your pants.

"M-mister, wait!"

"Oh uhm..." You were taken aback at this kid's presence. "Hey, little one. What is it?"

"C-can you get my kite f-from there, mister/miss?" The kid pointed at the kite stuck in the tree placed in front of a house. "Please... I don't want my mom to be mad at me. She made it for me."

You sighed and tightlipped. You are in a hurry, yes... but still your good-hearted soul couldn't resist a poor kid who is afraid of his parents just because he unintentionally lost a kite that is already meant a lot to his entertainment.

"Don't cry now kid, I'll get it for you." You nodded and patted his head. The kid led you to the tree where his kite is twirled and just swaying there along to the breeze of the thin air.

You noticed that the string were just wrapped around the branch and it's that high for you to reach. You thanked that it was not that hard and too much of a time consuming task for you to do.

Climbing the three, you stretched you body to untangle the string carefully on the branch until you finally got a grasp on it with it's straight form, now back at its fixed condition.

You jumped from the tree and stood in front of the kid. "Here's your kite. You can still play with it." you said as you handed it to him.

"Yehey!!! Thank you so much mister/miss!!!" He cheered loudly and you smiled at his bright mood. You patted again his head and return back to your car. 

As you opened the door, you observed that there's a black cat sitting in the roof of your car. You had a staredown with it when it turned its head at you.

You were about to help it go down but it neverminded your kind deed, jumping out of your car by itself.

You just shrugged and entered the car to start driving away.

In the middle of the drive, you removed your focus on the road for a while to switch your music on the radio. It was then you had a glimpse of your gas meter that the fuel of your car is now at a low percentage.

"Oh you got to be kidding me." You groaned.

Fortunately, there was a gas station beside the highway. You went there and refilled you fuel first because obviously you wouldn't like not only yourself taking too much time to reach the party and meet Hanni but also to leave your car there, cause a problem to the other drivers, and have it towed away.

As it got refilled, you thanked the worker and entered your car as you proceeded driving. Remembering Hanni, you contacted her again to get updated. "Where are you now?"

"I'm close. Just a turn at the end and I'll be there now." She answered with a cough after she spoke, confirming to you that she is indeed still not fully recovered yet from her sickness. You felt sorry again for her that she had to go through this and leave her be at peace where she would be rather stay at home and continue resting.

"Okay. I'm on my way now." You stated. Right as you turned off the call, you stopped your car when the other one in front of you did the same, and that's until you realized that you are now in the middle of a traffic.

"BAD TIMING!" You pounded your fist on the steering wheel, causing a honking sound when you hit the horn. Looking back at the time, there's only 9 minutes left before it turns to five in the afternoon. Then, you already knew that you may be a few minutes late since Hanni might have already arrived. You just hope for the best that she won't make a create much of a scene out of catching her cheating boyfriend and that Haerin and the girls would be there to back up her.

You patiently awaited the cars to keep going since you knew that such an annoying circumstance had to develop at the worst possible time when you are in a rush.

There's only 5 minutes remaining in your watch, your desperation urges you to just hop out of the car and run it all the way or just grab a cab through the location instead.

Thankfully, the traffic loosened and the car started to move again, much to your relief but still disappointed that it wasted much of your time remaining.

You successfully made it. The party is still ongoing inside, and you entered the house because luckily there was no guards for you to be questioned if you got any invitation or not.

You went to the backyard and spotted Haerin, Danielle, Hyein, and Minji doing a Super Shy challenge with some strangers, might be their friends you just don't recognize.

As they finished, you called for their names and you drew their attention at you. "YN!"

"Girls!" You exclaimed. "Did you guys saw Hanni?"

"What?" Haerin was puzzled. "Why are you looking for her here? I told you she didn't come with us today, right?"

You facepalmed as you just recalled that she did said that but you never updated her back that Hanni was planning to come in the party.

"Ah shit, I forgot!" You sweared. "So none of you have seen her?"

"YN what is going on?!" Hyein asked, all of them are getting confused now.

"Hanni said she's going here to confront her boyfriend!" Your voice increased, the mix of unknown and nervousness is making you uncomfortable in your stance.

"Huh?!" Minji reacted the loudest. "But we never saw any signs of her around here."

"Then where did she went if that so..." You roamed your eyes around the crowded area as the thoughts only occupied of Hanni attacking your mind in a sense of fear and danger.

"Wait... his boyfriend..." You returned your glances at them. "Where is he?"

"Oh wait!" Danielle exclaimed. "I-I saw him went out of the house with the girl he's flirting with while I was grabbing a food at the kitchen!"

"Then they must be out already, and we lost them..." You slapped your thigh irritatedly as you hissed at your words.

"Wait, unless..." Your eyes sprung up when a possibility just occurred in your head. "Oh no."

"What is it, YN?"

They began calling your name as you quickly ran out of the house while you dialed Hanni's number.

She answered the call. "Hanni. HANNI, WHERE ARE YOU? I'M HERE AT THE PARTY ALREADY. I ASKED THE GIRLS IF-" You paused at your speaking when you heard Hanni crying on the phone.

"Hanni?"

"They were right..." Hanni said between her sobs. "I should've been more aware, now I know why they weren't so okay in their first impression of him..."

She keeps on muttering all her regrets while watching her boyfriend and the girls she's being cheated at kissing beside the house. Hanni is inside the car, sitting on the driver's seat, hands gripping tightly at the steering wheel matched with the intensity of the despair, anger, and dismay she's containing for the sinful act of his boyfriend that she's witnessing.

"Where are you, Hanni? Please, just tell me."

"How could he do this to me... I gave it all, my love... my choice... my trust. I don't know if I could still forgive him, YN."

Her hand starts to hold the stick shift and her feet positioned on the pedal as her lips crunched and eyes dimmed in rage.

You heard an engine revved near at your spot and looked at it.

"YN! THAT'S HANNI'S CAR!" Haerin shouted from the gate, your friends followed you after you began searching for Hanni.

"Yet what I just received in return from him is to break my heart and throw it all in the waste... I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE HE'LL SUFFER WORSE THAN ME!"

She was about to step on the pedal as she screamed in anger when just in time you grabbed her arm, surprising her. You saw that her window is down as you sprinted towards her car.

"Let me go! LET ME GO!"

You opened the car and hugged her instantly. She still tried to force you away from her but the longer you embraced her, the more she starts to calm down and let herself pour all her devastation at you.

"Please, don't. Don't do it, Hanni. You may not deserve what you get, but you don't have to do this. Don't be worse than what he did to you. Let him face the consequences on his own fate."

You helped Hanni get out from the car to allow her breathe some fresh air as you two were joined by Haerin, Minji, Danielle, and Hyein. They gave their friend a group hug to console the heartbroken lover.

Your stare sharpened when you caught the boyfriend and the girl watching the scenario. The girls looked at the direction you are looking at, with Hanni stepping away from the group to finally confront her cheating boyfriend.

"L-look, Hanni... I can exp-"

*SLAP*

The guy touched his aching cheek where Hanni slapped him. "You're done. I'm breaking up with you, and I don't want to see you ever again, do you understand me?", she intimidatingly said with angst.

"H-Hanni... p-please, listen to-"

"She said what she said. Starting today, you stay the hell away from her, you bastard." You grunted as you pulled Hanni back at you again.

Hanni rolled her eyes disgustingly at the girl she's being cheated at before her ex and the girl left. As their figures vanished, she returned on hugging you again as she starts crying out on your body. You stayed there, patting her back to provide comfort at her while your group softly and admiringly watches you two.

"Thank you, YN. I'm sorry if I was stupid to end up with him."

You chuckled and shook your head. "Don't blame yourself. Didn't we all become stupid when we fell in love with somebody. We don't think of the consequences, but rather we look forward at our feelings at first."

"I get it, we just want to try make ourselves oblivious to disregard and escape all the pain we could receive, even though in the end there will always be someone that will enable you to finally wake up in reality to spare you from it... because simply that person just doesn't want to see you suffering any longer." You smiled at Hanni. "You can take it being each of us as your friends including me who also... never gave up loving you." you muttered solemnly at the near end.

Hanni lifted her head and looked at you astoundingly. Her mouth agape, learning that the special boy she's embracing is not only the one who's been very extremely meaningful to her life as her closest friend... but also as the man/woman who was treating her more valuable for so long than what she does, remained loyal and faithful for his/her love to her, even though she didn't picked him/her in the first place and instead chose a bad decision by being with a traitor and didn't cherished all her efforts in return. And that's what she always desired. It's just that she never thought that all of what she's been looking for is already an amalgamation of a perfect lover type... which is you being on her side through most of the times where she needs you.

The girls put up a broadly smile, knowing that you finally got to confess your love for Hanni. Hyerin would never call you right away when they needed a help for Hanni if it wasn't also for that reason.

"Y-you're serious, YN? You meant it?"

You nodded. "I've been loving you for 5 years, 6 months and counting, Pham Hanni. And I never had and will have an intention in my mind that there will be a deadline for me to stop loving you. I just leave it on to my heart that still prefers you as long as I'm living."

Hanni blushed and was touched at your statement. You hugged her again, and she is now feeling your affection in a whole different direction now after your confession to her.

"I know it's sudden and not actually the perfect time for me to do it, but ofcourse I'll give you some time to think about it while you heal your heart." You whispered to her as you caressed her back. "My heart always hurts when you can't let him go because I had this doubt in me that you always deserve better than what he give. I always wanted it to be me, Hanni... but I don't have the control in your life. I'll just be as happy as what you are."

And again, you were the only one who could make Hanni smile in this dreadful day of hers. Her emotions doesn't feel like it weighs her down anymore, because with your presence; everything just helps for her.

It makes her feel amused, complete, and lastly... to be loved uncomparably.

In order to take Hanni home early so she could recover from her increasing health and wait for her sickness to totally subside, you excused yourself from the girls. The girls appreciated their compassion, said you farewell, and advised you to drive safely.

1 WEEK LATER

You were playing the tone of your newly written song in your guitar at the music room of your campus until you officially stopped doing it as you submitted yourself to your bored mood.

Placing down your guitar beside you on the couch, you slumped down and lazily looked around the house thinking of other ways to spend your free time.

An option popped into your mind and you were just hoping that she's also available for today.

You picked up your phone. Your fingertip was about to press down the power button but then your screen lit up, showing the call profile of Hanni, much to your surprise.

Coincidence? You think not.

Smirking at how amazing it was, you answer the call with a large grin in your face.

"Hmmm hey, Hanni how are you?"

"Doing fine but I'm bored right now." She said weakly. It was evident to her voice, but you chuckled again as how the mindset of you both were unknowingly similar. "Really? Because I am too, honestly." You replied. "I was just playing my guitar here and it doesn't please me still."

"Well I'm here building a puzzle and it doesn't help. So I just picked up my phone-"

"Yeah, I did too after-

"I think about you."

Both of you were stunned that you two said the same thing together. You blushed at smiled, with Hanni also reacting as you.

"You know, I find it pretty impressive that both of us were like sharing the same mindset these days."

Hanni laughed at your comment. "Yeah you're right. Well everything has a reason, right? We just have to give it some sense, so maybe... I guess we're just really that specially related."

You nodded, beaming a smile as you agreed at her opinion. "I guess we are."

Both became silent as you let the moment sink in to yourselves, having to hear the voices that belongs to the one that is being held dearly by each other's hearts again which was easily effective to uplift your spirits and lighten up together's moods.

"You're free today?"

"I am. Why?"

"Perfect. What do you say? We can go wherever you like." You smirked at your suggestion. "Just say the words and I'm down, Hanni. "

Hanni didn't think twice about it, it was already a great idea to be with you and she wouldn't hesitate to just let it across. "Well, all I need is you on my side so we can go whenever you like too, YN."

You were glad at her answer. "Just tell me now where are you and what's your ETA so that I could prepare while I wait for you, YN."

It was like every time when you were about to spend your time with her, she tests you how fast you are on preparing yourself to meet up with her...

... and this day might be your fastest so far.

---------------------------

You and Hanni were waiting for your orders to be served inside a fine restaurant you two have decided to try around the mall.

While you are watching the movie that is being showed in the TV screen, Hanni distracted you not only by her question but also with her actions.

She rolled up the sleeve in your arm to see your bandaged wrist. "This took me since earlier when we rode your car, what happened to this?"

"N-nothing." You shook your head and gently pulled it away, hiding it back on your sleeve. "Just got into a little accident, wounded in result."

Hanni nodded and patted your hand. "Try to be careful next time, okay? It's good that you applied it first aid already."

You flinched with a teasing smirk. "Ofcourse, I am. I'm a grown up now, mom."

Hanni bonked your head and pouted sulkily. "OUCH! Okay, I'm sorry!"

"No, that won't do." She swayed her head, rejecting your apology.

"Then what should I need to do, huh?"

"Buy me an ice cream." she requested with puppy eyes as she said it with anticipation.

"Pft. Basic." You scoffed, taking out your wallet from the pocket. "Deal accepted."

"No, I'm not done yet."

You slumped your shoulders as you stared at her ridiculously. "What do you want too, missy?"

She tapped her cheek repeatedly as she presented it to you. You were flustered, trying to deny if she's actually requesting the same thing you're thinking.

"I'm waiting, YN... or we're gonna go home very quickly after we eat~"

You can describe any synonym of "terrified" after she said that, prompting you to land your first kiss in her cheek, as there's going to be no way you two would ruin this day just because you chose stubborn and dense at her hint.

"That was as good as I expected." Hanni winked at you before she returned her focus back at her phone, leaving you sheepishly grinning and blushing intensely on your seat.

As your ordered dishes finally arrived in your table, she lead the prayer before both of you started to feat on each other's foods.

You were gonna pick up the fork until you had a glance on your wounded wrist again, and you recalled the question Hanni gave to you according with that... in which you didn't gave her a proper answer.

She must not know. It's for the better, you thought. You had to lure her away from the darkest secret you just made for the rest of your life.

From what you actually did behind the wound that was left within you as a cost of your unforgivable action.

You'll try to keep it with you as long as it requires to be, but if there's a time she learned about it; you already are willing to take all the responsibility to face her with it.

You ate with Hanni and gave her the same delighted yet forced reaction to the delicious taste of each other's food...

...while the guilt of killing her ex-boyfriend three days after Hanni broke up with her by running the car straight towards at him when he was alone walking in the street. You were stalking him for days, searching for a perfect opportunity to do the favor instead for Hanni on what she almost attempted.

You brought his body in your car's trunk and threw secretly on the cliff to dispose him off. That's where you also noticed the wound in your wrist left by him possibly from the struggle he tried to do to fight you back as you were about to leave from the place. All of it lingers in your head while Hanni is just enjoying her meal in front of you, no clue that her current love interest has just sacrificed him/herself to seek for blood in revenge for the guy who broke her heart and made her miserable.

[olderthannetfic]

I went scrolling through anti ao3 tags and blogs because I was bored and not doing the shit I need to do and you know for a group of people who every year twice a year throw such hissy fits you’d think they’d at least have a point, but all their arguments make no sense(except their one main one that they almost never use?--why??) Like ok, there is one argument for why people shouldn’t give money to ao3, and that is the argument that ao3 is bad website because it has bad policies and refuses to moderate. I disagree, but ultimately if someone thinks that ao3 should update the TOS and moderate what fan fiction they allow, it makes sense that that person would be against the site making money because… well they are against the sites founding principles, I’m not shocked they don’t want it to succeed.

But the rest of the arguments!? Man they make no sense at all

“They are scamming you there is no way they need that much money”, ”its immoral to give money to ao3 because they already have so much!”, “Even if ao3 was perfect, its ridicuslous to give 100K to a fan fiction site!” — like… maybe I’m the asshole here, but ao3 made about 250,000 this spring, so they make about 500,000 a year… that’s just not that much money! That could what, pay for 10-30 employees at best! And that’s not counting the actual cost of all the shit they currently spend their money on! I get that ao3 is run by unpaid volunteers so antis think that 500K is a lot, but that’s not true! That’s not a lot of money at all! It might be a lot of money for an individual but for a company that’s practically pennies. Wikipedia, which granted is a lot bigger than ao3, with 57,218,269 pages to ao3s 6 million works, makes 155 million to ao3 500,000. According to antis ao3 has over a million in reserve and well according to wikipedia they have net assets of US$240 million. One is clearly more than the other!

I saw someone say that servers should be 1K, which is so stupid and out of touch with eveything I almost died laughing. I had a project using firebase this semester, I created 2 projects within firebase one for my school project and one to dick around and figure out. I accidentally set my test database to a “pay as you go” version instead of a free version. And almost had to pay a thousand dollars for the month! I wasn’t even using that database it was just sitting there but I check my google billing to make sure I wasn’t paying anything and it turns out I was! 150 dollars actually so that sucks! (My fault though)

Also also I keep seeing that its ridiculous and evil to pay the much for a site that “doesn’t improve” but the “doesn’t improve” is referring to A) no changes in TOS, which I don’t want to happen any way so good. B) the fact that it’s still in beta, which I don’t give a fuck about and I don’t understand why I should care. I think antis are dont like that the layout hasn’t changed but I don’t want to the layout to change. Also things come out of beta because they are a commercial product to be sold(this is very simplified), which is why some things come out of beta to waaaay to early and are glitchy as all hell! Ao3 isn’t being sold to me its slowly being built and archiving things that would probably be lost, and it will probably technically be in beta forever, but it doesn't effect me and I don't care. Would it be better if it came out of beta only to continously updated like a lot other shit does. I don't really play video games but I know ppl that do so I know at least once a game came out that didn't really work and people needed to later update shit for it to function and I'd argue thats worse than a functional website just being in beta forever. C) The claim that it hasn’t changed at all, which is just not true! They added the exclude section and eventually added the blocking shit. The blocking took too long to come out, so I guess in this sea of dumb criticism theres at least 1 piece of critism that makes sense. And finally again I don’t want it to change! Every other week we are all bitching that Tumblr or YouTube or Instagram or any other app are needlessly changing the layout or adding shit we don’t want in order to keep up with latest trends, make it more marketable or try and attracted new users. Ao3 is great because its never going to change. Ao3 and Craigslist will always kinda look like ass and I’m ok with that. If it aint broke ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I could keep going but there is no point. I just think they are all so stupid.

--

The thing about beta is the funniest because AO3, like oldschool shit from the 90s, has actual criteria for coming out of beta.

It's not "we've been going for 10 years" or "we want to sell the product": it's "we've checked off all the things on this checklist".

And they still haven't done them all, so it's still in beta.

[nothwell]

A thrilling new story begins on Patre♡n! Welcome to Vampires Vampires Vampires , a M/M/M Victorian vampire romance.

~

“There’s the old hulk now, my lad! What d’you think o’ her?”

At his captain’s bidding, Octavio Peixinho peered out the coach window at the mansion appearing through the trees at a bend in the long winding road. Sitting as he did with his back to the horses, he had to lean forward quite a ways to catch sight of it.

The sight proved worth catching. Ferndale Priory loomed over the landscape like a palace. Bigger, certainly, than the bark Octavio and his captain had left behind in New Bedford. Captain Ferndale had told him how the house stood on the ancient ruin of a monastery, and Octavio could see some hints of it in the style of the house now—the pointed arch of the tall and narrow windows, the notched rim of the roof and towers, and the spires springing up like whale-spouts from every corner. One of the spires, however, had broken off, and this, combined with the patches of crumbling stone, the empty shadows lurking behind most of the windows, and the sunken-in look of the roof over the eastern flank, marred the magnificence of its immense size.

Octavio turned back to his captain. “Seems hardly seaworthy.”

Captain Ferndale gave a hearty laugh. He’d seen some fifty-odd years of life—and most of them at sea—yet he wore his wisdom well, with a handsome smile showing through his close-trimmed beard. “I’d say ‘thar she blows,’ but the chimneys ain’t lit. Daresay my nevvy can’t afford to, with what debts my brother left him.”

~

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them. You’ll also be invited to join an exclusive Discord server just for patrons!

A new chaper will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting… ♡ Vampires Vampires Vampires (mmm)

Completed works… ♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm) ♡ A Willing Canvas – John Halloway x Lord Cyril Graves (mm) ♡ The Train Job – Rowena Althorp x Rebekah (ff) ♡ Hold Fast 2 – Hold Faster (mm)

See you on Patre♡n!

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

Comments- Colby Brock x y/n- part 7-

AUTHORS NOTE: omg guys I am so so sorry just got back into Sam and Colby and decided to finish this in my drafts I had like a paragraph written already. This is my first time back into writing fanfiction since a concussion i had so I’m trying my best sorry it’s so short this is a continuation of my series where y/n got possessed in the last part

warnings: mentions on possession, fluff, slight slight angst,

“Babe” Colby called from his computer “you should come see this”

after me getting possessed I insisted on them posting the video. We were so lucky that we caught it on camera. They were hesitant at first but I said I want people to know what happened. It’s insane that I got possessed but I want people to know what really happened. It was a really scary experience. But I’m still really worried about the video. Would they say I’m just overreacting?. That it was fake and I was just a coward? But I always get some kind of nervous when they post a video with me in it. But this video was special. I still haven’t gotten to watch it yet. I had spent most of the time recovering and spending my time with Colby.

I go over to the computer and see him sitting reading comments. I sit down on his lap, even though he’s just wearing such a simple outfit sweatshirt and comfy pants he still looks hot. I look through the comments and to my surprise they are divided into basically two parts (well maybe 3 with the amount of people commenting “I don’t claim any negative energy from this video”) the first is about how scary it was when I got possessed and how bad they feel for me. The second is how people are talking about how they think me and Colby are dating and that there is so much chemistry between us. Another thing I noticed is that the video went viral. I mean stupid viral, more than most of their videos combined. It had only been out for 5 days and it already reached 50 million views!!! Mostly I think because of my possession from outside viewers who weren’t subscribed but there were plenty of fans. Some of the comments said the following:

Cheriklover333: I feel so bad for y/n she looks so scared I cant imagine how horrible it must feel to be posses like that

kurtwagnerisacinnimonroll: did anyone notice how Colby looked at y/n 😩. I need someone like that and did yall notice her hickeys 😳

Polaris-alt-account: people who think Colby and y/n are dating 👇

that comment had over 500k likes

I groan “shit! Shit! Shit!” I rub my temples “colbs I never wanted this im sorry I dragged you into this—“

“hey hey it’s okay baby” he wraps his arms around me and presses his head on top of mine. The weight of his body on mine feels good. The closeness and warmth feels good. His hands slip into mine and grasp it lightly but firm. He is protective but caring. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I don’t care what people think I just wanna be yours”

I nod but I still have tears in my eyes not much and I feel stupid for crying but I can’t help but think I’m the one that got us into this whole mess. My gaze drifts back to the computer monitor

rosefromtitanic: you guys need to chill yes I see the way he looks at her but they should come out and say it before we jump to conclusions I think they should do a Q and A

a smile on my face appears as a light bulb practically goes off in my brain. My eyes wander to my boyfriend. And again I’m taken aback by just how breathtaking he is…I can see his muscles and I wonder what under his shirt…………snap out of it!! You need to focus.

“colbs how do you feel about about making our relationship public?”

Edit: I TRIED I REALLY DID ITS THE BEST I COULD DO FEEDBACK PLEASE!!! might write a part 8. But x men is currently my hyperfixation and am definitely going to be writing for Peter maximof and young Charles Xavier so if you’re interested send ideas. Going to write for young Coryo snow even though he’s evil he’s hot. Tried my best couldn’t leave you all hanging

[literaticat]

I just wanted to be clear on the maths of some deals. So if it's written on PM that the author sold rights to UK for six figures and then Poland for six figures and Germany for six figures and assuming the six figures = 100k dollars -- does this literally mean the author made a 300k deal?

I mean -- kinda? It means that the author made three deals for six figures each. But your example is kinda not working because I kinda doubt that people are making six figure deals to Poland. (No offense AT ALL to Poland, it's just a much smaller country in terms of book deals compared to some others!)

I'll dissect a recent deal (which I'm guessing is the one that actually spurred this question!) with all the descriptive info redacted so I don't get in trouble from anyone.

Author's AWESOME TITLE, a description of a wonderful-sounding novel, to Editor A at A US PUBLISHER, in a major deal, in a pre-empt, in a three-book deal, for publication in May 2025, by Agent at An Agency (NA).

Rights also to Editor B at A UK PUBLISHER (UK), in a six-figure deal, in a pre-empt, in a two book deal; to A GERMAN PUBLISHER (Germany), in a two-book deal, in a six-figure deal, at auction; to A BRAZILIAN PUBLISHER (Brazil), in a two-book deal; to A ROMANIAN PUBLISHER (Romania), in a pre-empt, in a two-book deal; and to A POLISH PUBLISHER (Poland).

So here, the first paragraph is about a US deal.

"Pre-empt" means that there was no auction, the editor gave a big enough offer that the author took it off the table for them. Publisher A bought North American rights only, so the agent can sell all those other foreign rights separately and the author gets paid each time.

A "Major Deal" is 500k+*** -- that's for three books, mind you, so we have no idea how much that might break down to in real numbers -- it might mean 175 per book, or 200 per book, or 500 per book -- no way to know here, but I assume that if it was a SEVEN figure deal, they would have said so, because that'd be a big flippin deal! So let's call it 175k each, for 525k total.

In separate deals, this sold to the UK, in another pre-empt - six figures total for 2 books. So that could be 50k each, or 75k each, or 100 k each -- again, no way to know, so let's call it 50k each, 100k total, as that's the least it would be.

In Germany, there was an auction, and it sold in a two-book deal, again for six figures - so let's call it 50k each, another 100k.

In Brazil, Romania and Poland, this also sold -- two books to Brazil, two books and a pre-empt to Romania, and one book to Poland. Absolutely guesswork on my part, because there is no signal to how much these deals were for, but I can pretty much guarantee that they weren't six figures, because the agent would have said so. So let's say these sold for... 10k per book. That'd be 20 for Brazil, 20 for Romania, and 10 for Poland = 50k.

So the "maths" would be, six deals total, baseline $775k total for all of them (though some of this is guessing, and it certainly COULD be more, or a little less!)

While this sounds like an extraordinary sum (and it IS) -- it's worth remembering that this will be paid out in multiple installments over the course of three or more years, there will be agent commission taken out (15% at least, possibly 20 or 25% for the foreign rights deals) and it will be heavily taxed, probably at 30% or so. So it's not QUITE as mind-boggling as it could be!

*** "Major Deal" is Publishers Marketplace specific lingo. (This key is located on the bottom of the deals page but it's easy to miss -- but if you don't know it, you'll be lost. Please note that this is ONLY PM-SPEAK -- in the real world we are WELL AWARE that "100k" is more than "good" lolol.)

Nice: up to $49,000

Very Nice: $50,000 - $99,000

Good: $100,000 - $249,000

Significant: $250,000 - $499,000

Major: $500,000 and up