#that said I *am* on day 3 of cutting my sugar intake down

[daezedglownut]

Dad’s in hospital. Again. 8C

[ga-yuu]

~Yoshitsune~Main Story Chapter 4~

Warning! This story has strong language and attempted rape.

Chapter 3

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------Part 1------

Yoritomo: “Don’t forget I’m a man who killed his own brother.”

I was horrified, but at the same time, I felt like something connected in my head....

(Ah.....!)

-------FLASHBACK------

Yoshitsune: "But...contradictions are in all of us. I've only known one person who could cut it out and throw it away."

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(Maybe he was....)

(Wasn't it Yoritomo-sama that Yoshitsune-sama was talking about....?)

Yoritomo: "Well...we're almost done, aren't we? I'll let you know about the job."

Yoshino: "Ah, yes...! Thank you."

I stopped thinking and bowed to Yoritomo-sama.

(At any rate, I think I've moved on a bit, right?)

This is how my new life started changing-----

Kagetoki: "Now, Yoshino. I want you to check and sort those scrolls like how I taught you yesterday."

Yoshino: "Got it!"

(Let's do our best to help today.)

Under Kagetoki-san's direction, who is mainly responsible for the internal affairs of the Shogunate...

For the last few days, I've been doing simple chores such as sorting out paperwork and recording meetings.

(I have to be careful not to make any mistakes, or I'll have to face the wrath of stoic Kagetoki-san!)

I nervously unrolled the scroll on my desk.

The scroll he had given was a record of the number of human resources and provisions needed for the battle against Yoshitsune-sama.

Yoshino: "We need so many rations...."

Kagetoki-san, who was sitting opposite me, reacted to the words I blurted out.

Kagetoki: "Because this war is bigger than ever. We need to scrounge from the ranks and make sure we have plenty."

(And yet, so much detail has been calculated....)

The scrolls also contain a detailed list of the number of soldiers for the supply convoy.

(I can't believe we need so many people just to carry the rations!)

Yoshino: "It's not easy to fight a war, is it?"

Kagetoki: "It's natural. It's not just about fighting. If we run out of food on the way, our men's lives will be in danger. We have to make sure we have the right people and the right routes to get the food to the people, and then we have to work out the tactics. But of course, we also need information about the enemy."

Yoshino: It's like the preparation stage has already started...."

Kagetoki: "Yes. We can't afford any delays or lapses in judgment."

(I see, one wrong move and many lives will be lost...)

Kagetoki-san's words always sound harsh, but when you hear him talk like this, you get a different impression.

(That's how deeply he thinks about the Shogunate, and that's why Kagetoki-san won't compromise.)

Kagetoki: "What's wrong? Why are you staring?"

Yoshino: "No, nothing...I'll call you when I'm done."

I quickly returned to my work.

About a moment later-----

Morinaga: "I see you're working hard, Yoshino."

Tamamo: "I've brought you a reward."

Yoshino: "Oh! Hi Morinaga-san, Tamamo."

(Did you guys come here to check on me...!)

Tamamo and Morinaga-san came to me with a small furoshiki in their hand.

Kagetoki-san kept his gaze fixed on the scroll and said a few words back to them.

Kagetoki: "No food and drinks are allowed in the library."

Tamamo: "Don't be so strict Kagetoki. Look, we went around Kamakura's best shops to buy these sweets."

Yoshino: "You went around Kamakura you buy this, Tamamo?"

Tamamo: "I went to my favorite sweet shops, so I thought I would share some with you."

Yoshino: "You already have favorites!?"

(Not even a week has passed since we arrived in Kamakura.)

Tamamo: "Because it is important to create the ground to live happily. Confectioners, restaurants, dressmakers... Oh, and I've recently made friends in the gambling house."

Yoshino: "Gambling house....?"

(Did you make too many connections this quickly!)

Kagetoki: "You're responsible for that, isn't it? Morinaga. Please refrain from taking questionable creatures to questionable places."

------Part 2------

Kagetoki: "Please refrain from taking questionable creatures to questionable places."

Tamamo: "How dare you call this beautiful nine-tail fox a questionable creature."

Next to the pouting Tamamo, Morinaga-san laughed happily.

Morinaga: "Tamamo is good at betting and it's also fun to hang around with him."

Tamamo: "Don't let his appearance fool you, Yoshino. Morinaga has a bad habit too."

(Morinaga-san loves gambling. That's surprising!)

Kagetoki: "What a troublesome duo."

In a matter-of-fact manner, Kagetoki-san removed the scroll from his desk.

Kagetoki: "I heard you brought sweets, take it out. Yoshino. Let's take a break."

(Hm? I thought you said food and drinks are not allowed in the library.)

Yoshino: "Do you like sweets?"

Tamamo: "It's the height of unexpectedness. I thought you had a spitfire personality."

Kagetoki: "It's not like I have a sweet tooth. Sweets help my brain to work better. It increases my work efficiency."

Yoshino: "That's your reasoning!?"

Kagetoki-san says that with a straight face.

(He's serious. It's so typical of Kagetoki-san...)

Kagetoki: "Let's not waste any more time."

(What's the...!)

He opened the furoshiki to reveal the lovely pile of camellia cakes.

Kagetoki-san piled them up on his plate without a care in the world.

Yoshino: "Isn't that too much?"

Kagetoki: "It's my normal intake."

(.....Then how much do you eat when you're starving?)

Kagetoki: "I stop my work for the moment, so could take in all the sugar at once."

Yoshino: "Errmm??"

Tamamo: "Please leave some for us too."

Tamamo complains as he takes his seat next to Morinaga-san.

Kagetoki: "You're an extravagant fox, aren't you. If you insist I'd be happy to share some of my starch syrup."

Tamamo: "...What am I going to do with your starch syrup?"

Tamamo's eyes narrowed in an unusually wary way.

Kagetoki: "The more you eat it, the more sugary it becomes. The flavors change and you'll never get bored of it."

Yoshino: "So extreme!"

Morinaga: "That's Kagetoki for you."

(Morinaga-san is so generous to put it in those words...)

Tamamo: "Kagetoki, don't you dare ruin my sweets with your starch syrup!"

Just as Tamamo takes out the contents of his furoshiki, we heard someone's footsteps.

Shigehira: "I was wondering why the library is so noisy. It was you guys."

(Shigehira-san!)

Tamamo: "Oh Shigehira. Did you follow the smell?"

Shieghira: "Of course not! I just came to return this book I borrowed..."

Shigehira-san who was holding a book in his hand looked at the desk and his eyes widened.

Shigehira: "...! Mountain of camellia cakes?"

(Nice reaction!)

Morinaga: "That's Kagetoki's plate."

Shigehira: "Yeah....to increase his work efficiency or something."

Kagetoki: "You came at the right time. I'll share some with you too."

Shigehira: "No, I have work, so-----"

Morinaga: "It's okay to take a small break. Come, sit here."

Shigehira: "Ah...!!"

Morinaga-san smiles and puts his hands on Shigehira-san's shoulders and forced him to sit down.

Tamamo: "We have enough sweets for you too."

Morinaga: "Eat as much as you like."

Shigehira: "Don't treat me like a child. Like I said, I only came here to return this book."

With two grown-ups on either side, Shigehira-san sighed as if he had given up.

Then, our eyes meet and he gives me a slightly pouting look.

Shigehira: "Just so you know, I didn't bring any sweets for you."

Yoshino: "No, no, no. I don't mind."

(But I'm happy that you still came....)

Tamamo: "Let's eat."

------Part 3-------

Tamamo: "Let's eat."

Yoshino: "Yes! Thank you for the food."

Tamamo neatly plated the sweets for everyone.

My eyes sparkled seeing the camellia cakes and puff pastry.

(Everything looks delicious!)

When I ate one of the camellia cakes, the gentle sweetness filled my mouth.

Yoshino: "It's really delicious!!"

Kagetoki: "I see. This is from the nearest sweet shop. You can get it from there if you like."

Yoshino: "It's cool how you can easily tell the shop's name just by eating them..."

(So sharp!)

While I was impressed, Tamamo presents me with another plate.

Tamamo: "Here Yoshino, try these too. Made with the finest ingredients, the baker said he had been making these for decades."

Yoshino: "Thanks!"

When I ate mochi-----

Yoshino: "This is so yummy!!!"

Tamamo: "Isn't it? His store makes the finest sweets."

Yoshino: "Hehe...You really love to eat, don't you?"

Tamamo: "Unlike humans, we demons don't need food for nutrition....I just eat for pleasure. The more delicious the food is, the more it will entertain my mouth. Let me take you there next time, Yoshino."

Yoshino: "Really? I'll be looking forward to it."

(I heard so many things about Kamakura and that there are many places to visit.)

Yoshino: "Also...I'm really amazed how you're already used to Kamakura, Tamamo."

Tamamo shook his head when I pouted in jealousy.

Tamamo: "But I heard you are getting along with the soldiers here."

Yoshino: "Eh? What...?"

Morinaga: "That's true. Lately, you have been treating the injured soldiers after their training."

(Of course, it's a part of my work.)

I was surprised and blinked my eyes.

Shigehira: "...I heard that there's usually a fight in the training hall over who gets the treatment first."

Yoshino: "Why is that?"

(I didn't know that at all...!)

Kagetoki: "Such a barren dispute."

Morinaga: "Maybe because it's always been groups of men there and we never had a girl come near the training hall before. Well...since they're so eager to get treated by you, they didn't even mind doing my extra training sessions."

Yoshino: "..Morinaga-san, your smile is a little scary."

(Morinaga-san's training is famous for being unforgiving...though he looks kind.)

Yoshino: "There's only so much I can do to help, and I'm not doing too much."

Tamamo: "But there's been an increase in orders for your medicines in the Imperial Palace, right?"

Yoshino: "That's right, but..."

Thankfully, as I worked in the Imperial Palace, I got to know more people and they started to call me when they needed medicine.

(I'm not going to have my own shop until after I've broken my contract with Tamamo, but...)

(I'm so happy to be able to work as a pharmacist in this way!)

Shigehira: "Also..."

Shigehira-san talks while eating his mochi. (I found a typo here, they wrote 重衡くん(Shigehira-kun) instead of 重衡さん(Shigehira-san) MC doesn't call him Shigehira-kun until much later in the chapters)

Shigehira: "I don't understand how can you overwork like crazy when you have to face an even bigger nightmare, the great war."

Yoshino: "Well, I...."

Shigehira: "I don't get you at all. You have a very nice pharmacist job for a living...then why do you offer yourself to help Kagetoki-san with his work."

Kagetoki: "Unfortunately, I have the tendency to use any resource useful for my work."

Morinaga smiled brightly at Kagetoki-san's remarks.

Morinaga: "Ohh? So you think Yoshino is useful?"

Kagetoki: "Of course."

(Ah....)

I blushed at the unexpected compliment.

(Especially when I first started working, I didn't know what I was doing and I caused a lot of trouble for Kagetoki-san...)

Kagetoki: "She didn't run away after knowing the terrors of war. She's got a lot of guts."

Shigehira and Tamamo: "..............."

Yoshino(blushing): "!!!"

Morinaga: "There are many vassals whose hearts are broken by Kagetoki's harshness."

Kagetoki: "If they're not good at anything, I don't find them worthful."

Tamamo: "Can't you be a bit more proper in your praise?"

Morinaga: "We hoped for the same thing. But it's too much for Kagetoki."

-------Part 4------

Morinaga: "We hoped for the same thing. But it's too much for Kagetoki."

(Yeah...I guess I'll consider it a bit of an acknowledgment.)

Yoshino: "Thank you very much, Kagetoki-san."

Kagetoki: "I don't need to be thanked. I'm going to keep on using you and you're going work hard for me."

Yoshino: "......I'll do my best, so please be gentle."

My heart was feeling warm when I returned the words.

(It would be nice to get to know the people of the Shogunate a little better in this way.)

Even if it's just helping out a little.

It was now beginning to dawn on me that all the samurai were going into battle with conviction.

Shigehira: *munch munch munch*

Tamamo: "Can I ask you something, Shigehira?"

Shigehira: "Hm?"

Tamamo: "You came here to check on Yoshino to make sure that she's not being bullied by Kagetoki, isn't it?"

Shigehira(blushing): "No...I.."

(Really?)

Shigehira: "Ahem, like I said earlier, I came here to return this book. Then, she just happened to be here."

Tamamo: "Really? But I noticed you searching for Yoshino a while ago."

(No way!?)

Shigehira: "You were watching me!?....No, I mean. It was all your imagination."

Morinaga: "Isn't our Shigehira so cute."

Shigehira: "Stop joking! I wasn't----mmf"

(Eeehhh....)

Shigehira-san tried to argue, but Morinaga-san shoved a camellia cake into his mouth.

Morinaga: "Now, be a good boy and eat these sweets."

Shigehira: *munch munch*

With his mouth full, Shigehira-san glanced at Morinaga-san with a pouting look.

Yoshino: "Shigehira-san, are you okay? Here, have some tea."

Shigehira: "...Mm, thanks. Just because you're kind, doesn't mean I approve of you."

Yoshino: "I understand. But...."

(If what Tamamo said was true, I want to thank him for caring about me.)

I turned to Shigehira-san and bowed in gratitude.

Yoshino: "Umm, I'm thankful that you care about me. I took the job at the Imperial Palace for myself, and I haven't achieved any good results yet...But, I'm glad that I've been able to get closer to you all through my work recently!"

Shigehira(blushing): "....Erm well.."

Yoshino: "I really am!"

I can clearly see that Shigehira-san is blushing till his ears were red.

Tamamo: "You're looking like you're having a good time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I am (+4/+4)

2. Do you think so?

3. Not quite yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshino: "I am."

(I think I'm starting to think a bit more clearly.)

(I wonder if...now I could give a different answer than before.)

(But......)

Ironically, it was my greatest enemy, Yoshitsune-sama, who gave me the opportunity to change.

(Next time when we meet on the battlefield, I must make up my mind properly before then.)

..........

And so few days goes by-----

Late afternoon, I was walking down the hallway, after finishing my work. Then I saw maids passing by.

Maid 1: "Are you going to the festival, tonight?"

Maid 2: "Of course! My boyfriend asked me out and I'm looking forward to it."

(Festival....Oh yeah! I forgot it was tonight.)

(Since I have nothing much to do, let's go and enjoy the festival.)

..................

(Wow...!!)

I was walking around the streets of Kamakura, listening to the festival music.

Lanterns hung from the eaves and the front of the stalls were crowded with people.

(It's just fun to simply walk around like this.)

(I first thought to bring someone with me....)

------Part 5------

(I first thought to bring someone with me....)

(But I made plans on the spot and others didn't have time...)

(They're all busy preparing for the upcoming war.)

As walked across the busy street, the smell of food from the stalls tickled my nose.

(It's still early in the evening, so I'll buy something. Let's see....)

Then I went to some food stalls and bought some dumplings.

(I'm a bit tired....)

I walked through the crowd and before I knew it, I ended at the back of a shrine.

(I didn't want to fall down and get injured in the big crowd.)

When I was trying to get back to the entrance-----

Wild Samurai 1: "Hey hey, what are you doing here alone?"

Wild samurai 2: "It's the festival night and you're all alone. How about we give you some company?"

(What? Who are these people...?)

Suddenly a rough voice called out to me from the darkness and I was surrounded by several men.

(I can see you guys have swords hanging of your waist....must be some wild samurai...)

Wild samurai 3: "We just arrived in Kamakura and we don't have anyone to play with."

(What should I do...)

Yoshino: "Sorry...But I'm here with someone."

I bowed my head lightly and tried to escape but....

Wild samurai 1: "Come on, there's nothing to be scared of, is there?"

Wild samurai 2: "We wanted to help you since we thought you were lost."

Yoshino: "No, thank you."

One of them roughly grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

Yoshino: "Let go!"

I tried to shake his hands off, but it didn't budge.

Wild samurai 2: "Worry not. We'll be gentle."

Yoshino: "NO! HELP! SOMEONE!!!"

Just when I was about to be dragged behind the bushes----

???: "You're very cruel for taking advantage of festivities to violently attack women."

A quiet voice echoed from somewhere.

(Eh....?)

Wild samurai 1: "Huh? Who the fuck are you?"

The very next moment, a figure jumps from the top of the tree.

???: "Look here."

Yoshino: "Ah----"

Someone pulled my arm and he punched one of the wild samurai right on the chest.

When I was confused and looked up-----

(Is that a fox mask...?)

The mysterious man wearing a fox mask distanced me from the wild samurai and stepped forward to protect me.

Wild samurai 1: "Who are you!?"

???: "You're not worthy of hearing my name."

Wild samurai 2: "Don't fuck with us! That woman is ours!"

Yoshino: "Be careful!"

All of them drew their swords and attacked the mysterious man.

(No....!!)

???: "I promised myself that I won't. But it can't be helped. Now die."

The mysterious man pulled out his own sword, which flashed-----

Wild samurai 1: "Gwaaa...."

Immediately several swords were blown off...

Yoshino: "Wow....."

(Oh!....I remember this ferociousness.)

(Not only that, his voice is so familiar.)

(No way! It can't be...but.)

The mysterious man stepped forward casually as the samurai were jerked back.

Wild samurai 2: "Tch, we'll leave you both for now!"

One of them, who seems to be the leader, raised his voice and the rest of them started following him.

After that, everything became so quiet and the mysterious man turned his back on me.

(No wait, don't go!)

Yoshino: "Umm....Yoshitsune-sama?"

???: "........"

When I called out the name of the mysterious man, he looked back and took off his mask----

Yoshitsune: "How did you find out?"

Chapter 5

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Cowboy - Part 2

Summary: Leaving the city for a rural area called Blayne seemed simple enough. Your task was to convince the people to agree with selling their land for a resort redevelopment. But once there, you soon realise that your city ways are entirely different to theirs. Winning their trust was going to take some effort, and when you start to fall for a local cowboy, you wonder if you really needed Blayne more than the city life after all.

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader

Genre: cowboy au / drama / romance / if you squint there’s some enemies to lovers up in here.

Warnings: Jung Jaehyun is a cowboy, need I say more? (a bit of angst and drama, and it sometimes might feel like you’re reading a Nicolas Sparks book, so I’m told lol)

Word count: 1708

This series will be updated every Thursday and Friday starting 7th January.

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3

You barely recovered before he walked off, rounding the outside of the building. Scrambling after him, you soon fell into step with the son of the household.

The incredibly attractive Jung son.

“So you’ll be able to put on the power?”

“Sure, I’ll just wind up the generator and in about three hours-”

“Generator?! Hours?!”

He laughed then, the sound making you halt in your tracks in a daze. Glancing back at you, he smirked. “You’re sure easy to fool, Miss City.”

“Well, I was expecting a teen with the way your mother spoke of you, Mr Cowboy.”

“We’re a loving bunch around here,” he answered, walking over to a box on the side of the house and patting it. “All I have to do is flick a switch, and you’ll have power.”

“Thank god.”

“Not willing to rough it even for a night?”

“Rough it?”

He smirked again. “You sure don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“So people keep telling me. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will,” he replied, staring back at you for a moment. You raised an eyebrow, and he chuckled, pulling open the box and turning on the main switch. You saw the lights in the house you had flicked on come to life, and you clapped your hands together with glee.

“Yes!”

“Are you scared of the dark?”

“Are you always this full of yourself?” you shot back, and he grinned.

“Somewhat.”

“Anything else I need to know about so I can survive the night?”

After shutting the fuse box, he returned to your side, stuffing his hands deep into his jean pockets and leaned towards you. “You sound like high maintenance.”

“Perhaps I am.”

“You’re in for a rude awakening here then.”

“I’m adaptable,” you announced and he laughed. “What, I am!”

“This isn’t something you just get used to, Miss City. You’ll be gone before long.”

“And what will you do if I prove otherwise?” you challenged, and his eyes lit up, glinting with enjoyment.

You had to admit this banter was doing things for you too.

“There’s no point making plans for things that won’t come into fruition.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“I know, but it seems that you’re enjoying it.”

“Fine,” you stated simply, throwing your hands up. “Thank you for turning on the power, Mr Cowboy.”

“Enjoy your night, Miss City.”

You both rounded back to the front of the house, where you went to the veranda, and he approached the truck. You eyed it warily. “Is that thing legal?”

“Don’t try and use too many appliances at once. Houses like these can get overloaded, and it’ll trip the fuse and turn the power off. I’ve got cattle to run tomorrow, so you’ll be without power for some time if you do that.”

You blinked, trying to decipher if he was being serious or not. He shrugged and opened the door to the truck. “R-Really?”

“Take it on as some friendly advice.”

“Ah, is that what it is.” You nodded with a laugh as he climbed into the cab of the vehicle. Dashing down to the driver’s side, you leaned on the open window, and he watched you curiously. “Can you give me some more friendly advice?”

“Don’t open the front door. There might be coyotes howling out in the distance that you’ll have to get used to and by the hay barn, there is an old owl that likes to hoot around three in the morning. You’re welcome.”

“Wait! I was meaning more like if there’s regular mobile data service out here. I’ve got some files to-”

“You’re in the wrong place if you want to be on the internet, Miss City. I’ll give you two days out here before you head on back to your four-gee or whatever the thing is called.”

“You’re getting on my nerves.”

He grinned. “And you’re on my door stopping me from getting home to dessert, ma’am.”

Lifting your arms off, he tipped his cowboy hat at you again and started up the truck. You shook your head as he reversed down the drive before turning the vehicle around.

“Wait! I didn’t even get your real name!” you called out into the night, pouting some.

It didn’t matter. Even if he was the most handsome guy you had seen in months, he was also not your type with how easily he assumed so little of you.

Fishing out your phone, you held it up in search for a stronger signal. Groaning when there was only one bar, you stomped into the house and shut the door behind you.

When your alarm went off the following morning, you were already wide awake, staring up at the ceiling in sheer frustration. The advice you had received last night had been helpful, but what you needed was earplugs instead. You never knew the wilderness to be so loud.

“How am I going to get enough sleep here until I can order some earplugs?” you questioned to no one in particular, sitting up in the bed. You had to admit, whilst the sounds of the outdoors had kept you up, the bed had been surprisingly comfy.

There had to be some perks for being this far detached from proper civilisation.

“Might as well get up,” you decided, flinging back the blankets and padding across the hall into the quaint bathroom. You hadn’t paid a lot of attention last night to the house, too exhausted from travelling for two days. As you did your morning skincare routine, you used the mirror to look around your space. It had a cozy cottage-core vibe that you had recently seen come up as a trend on Pinterest.

“Natty loves things like this,” you told the home, smiling softly before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

The house was decorated warmly. Although many modern conveniences were missing, you couldn’t help but feel like you were in a home that was cherished.

Someone must have loved this place like that at one point in time, you thought, jumping when the phone went off again.

“Hello?”

“Miss L/N, is that you?”

“Ah, yes it is, who am I speaking to?”

“Oh! June told me that someone was staying at the old Jung house so I figured I’d give you a bell and offer you some breakfast down at the diner. You won’t miss it. We’re the first building on Main  Street.”

“That’s so kind of you to offer, but I have all the ingredients for a power green smoothie here-”

“Smoothie? Darling, a drink isn’t going to give you enough energy to get through your day.”

“Pardon?”

“Aren’t you starting your surveying job of Blayne today? There’s a lot to get through.”

Not really, you thought wickedly and bit your lip in case you said anything out loud. “Ah, right. Well, I’ll come down then.”

“Do come!” And then the line went dead.

“Who was I even speaking to?” you wondered when you placed down the phone, blinking slowly.

You got ready and headed down the bumpy drive and then another fifteen minutes until you reached what the inhabitants of this strange place called Main Street. You had to admit, it was the only area of Blayne were you saw more than two people at once, and it relaxed you to be back around people.

You hadn’t realised just how overcrowded the city was when you found yourself now missing the constant sight of people.

Once you parked your car, you got out and locked it, checking to make sure the door wouldn’t open. You heard a snigger from the sidewalk. “You’re new here.”

“Ah, yes.”

“You don’t need to lock your car here. No one is going to steal it,” the young girl said, eying you curiously. You nodded politely and walked inside the diner, instantly hit with the smell of fried food.

You were hungrier than you expected.

“Miss L/N!” a voice called, and everyone in the establishment turned to look at you.

Smiling politely and rushing over to the front counter, you sat down on a stool. The woman who greeted you smiled graciously. “I’m May.”

“May… June-”

May laughed. “Our parents weren’t all that creative with our names. I’m June’s older sister.”

“Oh! It’s nice to meet you. Please, feel free to call me Y/N.”

“Earl, can you serve up our guest the breakfast special?” May called out without taking her eyes off of you.

You smiled gently before darting your gaze to the menu distractedly. “You have a nice place here. Do you sell soy chai lattes?”

“Soy what?”

“Ah, nothing. Coffee. Coffee will do.”

“Black or white, darling? Any sugar?”

After sorting yourself with caffeine, you then glanced around again. There were about six others in total, and most of them were looking in your direction. Nodding politely at them, you turned back to May.

“I guess you don’t get many visitors.”

“They don’t stay long, no,” she replied, placing a large plate loaded with a fried assortment and pancakes. You eyed the meal. It would be triple the macros for your daily intake. Still, you were hungry.

You picked up your knife and fork. “They don’t?”

“I think the last person stayed a week. That was pretty long.”

“Only a week?” you cut into a hashbrown. “Why did they leave so soon?”

“Unless you’re a farmer or born into farming, you wouldn’t really enjoy being out here. We have only twelve stores. Nothing arrives here quickly, and you have to be pretty self-sufficient to survive. There’s not a lot calling people here.”

“There could be. I mean, you have a lot of land-”

“For farming,” May cut in, and you swallowed down a bit of hashbrown before nodding.

“Yes, but it’s beautiful and picturesque. People who want to escape the daily grind would flock to a place like this if there was an establishment to stay in.”

“Our inn hasn’t had a guest since nineteen-eighty-three. You want to know why?”

“It has a ghost story?” you asked innocently, and May merely smiled haughtily.

“The only people staying in Blayne were born and raised here, Y/N. You’ll soon realise the utopia you and your company are hoping to build out here is a pipe dream.”

_________________

Part 3

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[fitnesstimesblog]

Disclaimer: There is no shortcut. If you have more to lose you will have to change your lifestyle drastically. If you only need to lose a couple of pounds you will still need to make some changes. Unless you have a very fast metabolism (which, if you are actively trying to lose weight, you most likely don’t) you will not lose 10 kg in 2 weeks. I am not creating this post as a weight loss programme, it is a guide to help you in making decisions on how you want to lose weight.You need to do this for yourself.

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Bad Habits that Make You Put on Weight

Mindless snacking: if you are going to eat snacks take a look at the serving sizes and stick to that. If you have a bag of popcorn actually weigh out the stated portion size into a bowl and only eat that. If you are dieting I would suggest not snacking or sticking to one snack a day.

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Low levels of activity, this is bad habit most people picked up during lockdown. People count steps for a reason - it is healthy to walk 10,000 steps a day and if you are trying to lose weight walking 10,000 - 15,000 will help a lot.

Takeaways. It is okay to get a fast food takeaway once or twice a week. A problem arises when people order takeaways almost everyday. I don’t have to tell you why that is not healthy. If you seriously want to lose weight stick to one takeaway a week or none at all. If you do buy takeaway make sure to purchase from the children’s menu as the portion sizes are smaller.

Lack of sleep. I am the biggest culprit of this, but you must get at least 8 hours of sleep a day. The negative effects lack of sleep has on your body seep into every aspect of your life. Turn off your phone at 10 pm and get some quality sleep

Not drinking enough water. Anyone successful weight loss journey involves a person up-ing their water intake. You should be drinking a minimum (and I mean bare minimum) of 2 litres of water everyday but when I am losing weight I like to up my intake to 3 litres +. On the opposite end of the spectrum don’t drink too much water (I know, contradictory right?). Drinking too much water is very dangerous so I would say slowly raise your uptake and never drink over 4 litres a day.

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Diet

Disclaimer: There are no shortcuts. When you have more to lose, you need to radically change your lifestyle. If all you need to do is lose a few pounds, there are still a few changes that you need to make. Unless you have a very fast metabolism (which you probably don't if you want to actively lose weight), you won't lose 10 kg in 2 weeks. I am not creating this article as a weight loss program, it is a guide to help you make decisions about how you want to lose weight. You have to do it yourself.

Bad habits that make you fat

Mindless Snacks: When you are snacking, watch your portion sizes and stick to them. If you have a bag of popcorn, weigh the serving size in a bowl and eat it. If you are on a diet, I recommend that you avoid or stick to one snack per day.

Low activity levels are a bad habit that most people develop while in detention. People count steps for a reason: it's healthy to take 10,000 steps a day, and if you're trying to lose weight, 10,000-15,000 steps will do you very well.

Take away. There's nothing wrong with buying takeaway fast food once or twice a week. A problem arises when people order takeaway food almost every day. I don't need to tell you why it's unhealthy. If you really want to lose weight, limit yourself to one or no intake per week. If you are buying to take away, be sure to buy from the children's menu as the portions are smaller.

Lack of sleep. I'm the biggest culprit for this, but you need to get at least 8 hours of sleep a day. The negative effects of insufficient sleep on your body permeate all aspects of your life. Turn off your phone at 10 p.m. and get a good night's sleep

Not Drinking Enough Water Any successful weight loss involves a person increasing their water intake. I should drink a minimum (and I mean the minimum) of 2 liters of water a day, but when I lose weight I happily increase my intake to 3+ liters. On the other side of the spectrum, you shouldn't be drinking too much water (I know, isn't that a contradiction in terms?). Drinking too much water is very dangerous so I would say increase your intake slowly and never drink more than 4 liters a day.

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Diet

Of course, calorie control is an important factor in dieting, but it has to be a healthy restriction. I would say never go under 1,500 calories. Very restrictive diets (<1500) are unsustainable, unhealthy, dangerous, and generally a bad idea.

Here are some of my diet "tips" that have helped me lose weight:

Drink soups. Creamy, stringy, veggie-filled, warm, and nutritious soups (can you say I love soups)? Soups are great for dieting because they are generally healthy, high in vitamins and nutrients, and more easily digested. I know that when I drink soups, I don't have gas and never feel that bloated. Serve with a slice or two of French baguette for a light dinner.

Eat five small meals throughout the day. If you limit your calories to 1,500, you can have five meals of 300 calories evenly throughout the day.

By stocking up on vegetables and fruits, you can eat more for fewer calories, such as: For example, eat a 250-calorie muffin or large banana, a bowl of raisins, and a can of raisins (230 calories). Try to get your nutrient sources from low fat options. Instead of getting your calcium from whole milk, go for skimmed milk, yogurt, sardines, beans, and lentils.

Cut down on carbohydrates. Not exactly, but you should try not to eat more than 2 slices of bread a day. Try not to eat more than 2 bowls of rice a day (choose brown rice, it's more nutritious). Eliminate juices, sodas, and other sources of unnecessary sugar. Prepare meals so you can make informed decisions about what to eat

Here is an example of how I ate while on my diet:

6:00 am - a large banana and oatmeal with soy milk 9:00 a.m. - a bowl of raisins and 1/2 sardine sandwich (1 slice of wholemeal bread) 12:00 - a plate of white rice with sauteed chicken breast and vegetables. 3:00 p.m. - Celery, cucumber and carrot sticks with hummus and grilled salmon 6:00 p.m. - Carrot soup with coconut milk and a slice of French baguette

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Exercise

The scourge of my existence. Sorry I didn't come here with advice on the gym and lifting for a six pack. I do not know how. I can only say that if you want to lose weight, cardio helps a lot (in my experience).

Just do cardio every day. Here are some examples:

Swimming (30 minutes) Walking (more than 10,000 steps) Jogging (30 minutes) Skipping rope (15 minutes) Elliptical trainer (30 minutes) Stationary bike (30 minutes) Rowing (20 minutes) Sprint intervals (30 minutes) HIIT, high-intensity interval training I've lost most of my weight through jogging and rowing, and I used to jog for 30-60 minutes three times a week and go to the rowing club twice a week. Remember that every route to weight loss and to the body is different. Find out what works for you.

The key point is that you try to start cardiovascular exercise at least 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, and when you can increase the frequency and duration of the workouts.

General information

As I said, your journey is your journey. Do not compare your weight loss to anyone else's or try to rush the process. Think of it as a lifestyle change. A way to restore all of the unhealthy habits you have developed since you were born. Let it motivate you. Buy a goalkeeper you want to fit into and try on them regularly when you lose weight

That will be controversial. Weigh yourself once a month. Trust me. If you see this number drop after a month of hard work, you will feel a lot better. People who weigh themselves daily can base their diets and emotions on the number on the scales each day when weight loss is a combination of days and weeks of concerted effort.

https://www.subscribepage.com/get_your_keto_diet_plan

Be nice to yourself; Allow yourself to make a mistake and start over. You have to give yourself love, not hate and harsh words. Like telling a child who has fallen off a bicycle that everything is okay and needs to try again, the same grace and understanding should be shown. Join a weight loss support group or a neighborhood walking group - having support can be very uplifting and can make friends Occupy. When you're busy, don't eat. The way I maintain my weight loss and not fall into bad habits is to keep busy. Horseback riding, ballet, reading, bowling, gardening, work. Do whatever you can, don't sit idle and you will subconsciously increase your activity and end up eating without thinking.

[hes-writer]

To You (3)

Summary: mixed feelings can hurt someone

Warnings: unwanted touching, angst, and fluff

Word Count: 1523 words

A/N: unedited ,, I’m 50 followers away from hitting 3k and I’m so excited for it!!!!

———-

Harry was undeniably the happiest man alive right now. He finally got a hold of his dream girl. However, he couldn’t enjoy it to the fullest because of a shit-eating hole inside him that wallowed guilt deep within his heart. Sure, he did use Y/N to get closer to Louise, but it’s not like he intended to hurt her this much—he just wanted to be with Louise.

It sucks knowing that the woman he wanted was already taken long before they met. Louise had a long-time boyfriend and Harry vowed to himself that he will be patiently waiting for the day he could finally swoop in and have her in his arms. But for the meantime, he had loads of lonely nights to fill and that was when Y/N came along.

He thought she was cute. Harry didn’t think of her the way he did Louise when they first met and that was Y/N’s first mistake. He could tell by the slight glimmer in her eyes and the breathless intake of her voice meant that she was stunned at his—and not to toot his own horn—charming looks. Let’s be honest, Harry was far from being ugly.

And that was her own fault.

Harry didn’t force her to like him and certainly didn’t expect her to be so upfront about it, especially since she was a shy and timid person. So when she confessed her feelings to him one night, his gentle nature couldn’t help but sugar-coat a little bit of his true intentions. There was no way that he could get close to Louise on his own, especially with Brandon eyeing him down—granted that he knew Harry found his girlfriend attractive.

The next best step was to get closer to someone that knew her best—surely better than Brandon did. That was Harry’s plan to win Louise over.

In the beginning, he was subtle with Y/N’s hesitant touches and soft kisses to the cheek. He made sure that Louise was around to witness their affectionate exchange, except—she only smiled at them, truly happy for Y/N.

—-

“Har, can I talk to you for a sec?” Louise nudged his arm with her elbow, chin tilting towards a private room.

It made Harry’s whole body tingle with excitement. Well that didn’t take long.

As soon as the door shut close, Harry stepped closer to her but still kept a decent space between them.

It was finally happening.

Needless to say, Harry didn’t expect Louise to be so supportive of their relationship.

“I’m really glad that you gave Y/N a chance,” She began. “I know that she’s a bit shy but you’re bringing out the good in her,”

——

So Harry tried harder–made his efforts double as time passed. He kissed Y/N a little harder, gripped her frame a little tighter and spewed even sweeter nothings in her ear or out loud—all in front of Louise. It made Y/N a teeny bit suspicious but what did she know about relationships? This was her second one and she ought to enjoy it the best she can. It was pathetic (in hindsight) because not once did Louise spare a glance at him and it made his heart ache and quell for a relief.

Nothing was working and everything he did for show became a habit in private which certainly proved Y/N doubts and suspicions wrong. Y/N was becoming more comfortable with Harry while he conjured up another fiasco in as Y/N rested her head in his chest to cuddle.

Harry remembers looking down at her head of hair as she giggled slightly at the scene on the screen, wondering what only Y/N knew about Louise that would make her feel more comfortable around him. He reminisces Y/N asking him what was wrong when his chest caved in a hiccup, stirring him out of his thoughts of her best friend.

He felt bad, but not enough to stop what he was doing.

——

Sadly, Y/N was there to witness the bright gleam of Harry’s green eyes overlooking the scene in front of him, all while he held her former best friend by the waist.

“Shawn, I–“ Y/N stuttered, body quickly turning around.

“It would be a waste to look that good for nothing,” Shawn replied, gesturing at her appearance with a sweet smile.

He took her by the hand and led her to the bar in the middle of the room. Shawn sat her down on an empty stool and ordered them a drink.

“Here,”

Y/N glanced at the shot glass nervously, simultaneously wanting to look around but not needing to catch any watchful eyes.

Throughout the night, Shawn was greeted with choruses of ‘happy birthday’s’ and was eventually whisked away from beside her, leaving Y/N alone.

She was feeling much better and had a sudden boost of confidence to get on mingling with other people when a voice sent chills down her spine.

“You look good tonight,”

Y/N’s lip trembled, not being able to help the sobs that wanted to rip out of her mouth.

“I never thought I’d see you in a dress like this,” Jim added on.

Jim was her lying, cheating, crazy possessive and obsessive ex-boyfriend that wouldn’t leave her alone for months on end until she got a restraining order. He definitely caused trauma to Y/N with his constant fuck ups that Y/N always seemed to forgive.

She turned around, plastering fake smile on her face. “Nice to see you,”

“Do you want to dance?” Jim asked, holding out his filthy hand at her to which Y/N couldn’t help but grimace in disgust.

“No thanks, I’m fine.” She answered, letting her arms dangle on her sides.

“Just one dance,” He pried. “It won’t hurt anyone,”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel much more uncomfortable in the space with Jim. “I’m tired, Jim.”

He sighed, “It’s just one dance, Y/N.” His fingers grabbed hold of her wrist, forcing her body to fall of the stool. “Don’t be a prude,”

Y/N gasped at his words and his actions. His hands now grasping the bottom of her back, close to her butt. She squirmed at his touch, trying to get away.

“Let go of me!” Y/N squeaked, although it sounded more like a whimper and she hoped that the volume was enough to catch somebody’s attention.

“I said let go of me!” Her voice frightened tone splintered in the music-heavy air.

Suddenly, Jim was ripped off of her body and pushed back towards the crowd.

“She said to let go, mate,” Harry breathes heavily through his nose. “What are you even doing here?”

Jim raised his hands up in defence with a sly smirk. “Y/N seemed a little lonely after you left her. Thought she needed company,”

His eyes glanced at Y/N, boiling an unknown feeling within her and she was suddenly reminded that the man who saved her was someone that had hurt her more times than she can handle.

Harry was speechless, chest heaving but no words came out of his lips. His brows furrowed as if he was in a deep thought.

“I thought so,” Jim chuckled.

“What’s going on here?” Shawn’s voice could be heard on top of the chattering. His frantic eyes searched for Y/N amidst the people. He immediately brought her in for a huge and set accusatory eyes on the person that had hurt her.

“Jim? What are y–,” He cut himself off, “Security! Please escort him out.”

Shawn’s toned arms brought warmth and comfort to Y/N’s shaken stature. “Let’s go home,”

Y/N began to shake her head, “No, this is your party. I’m not going to ruin it,”

He only smiled at her, “Everyone will still have fun without me, Y/N.”

She was about to open her mouth again to protest, “Ah , ah. We’re going home,” Shawn said as he put a finger on her lips.

“Y/N! Are you okay? Do you need someone to take you home?” Harry, freshly snapped out of his thoughts, questioned.

She nodded, gripping tighter to Shawn.

“Shawn’s taking me home,”

“Him?” Harry pulled a doubting look, “I think it’s better if I take you home,” He tried pulled her body away from Shawn.

“We can get some fries and burgers on the way and we can eat while we watch something so you can sober up,” Harry concluded, his mind set on helping her get home safely. “Then we can get you to bed right away because I know that you have a 10 am class tomorrow and I can drop you off too so you do—,”

Y/N’s eyes softened the smallest bit. Hearing him talk about her as if she was the most important thing to him made her heart melt. It made her feel like he didn’t break her heart only a week ago.

“Harry,”

“Harry!”

He paused from his rant, looking up at her with a bit lip. “Yeah?”

“We’re not together anymore,” Y/N stated firmly. “Shawn’s taking me home.”

——

my heart actually broke a little bit while writing this.

let me know what you thought !

to you taglist: @fangirl-moment-x @littledreamybeth @fuckcaloriesbitch @spiderpiggie8 @ashkuuuu @miss-fangirl72 @calssunflower

[gakupoid2m]

Lol, I suddenly got an urge to complete this fanfiction I wrote last year after getting four of my teeth pulled out to get my braces. 

Title: Toothache

Word count: 1,699

Fandom: Gintama

Pairing: Gintsu

Sakata Gintoki was a big baby. And to say that Tsukuyo didn’t know this when she was getting into a relationship with him, would be wrong. It was just that she didn’t know the severity of the situation.

You see, if you would’ve told her that The Shiroyasha, one of the Four Heavenly Kings and the Savior of Yoshiwara was afraid of the ‘dentist’ and would lock himself up in a room the moment you even mentioned the word, she would’ve thought you were joking. Because sure, the man still behaved like a ten year old but to think that you could get him to sweat bullets by saying the words ‘dentist, clinic, and tooth extraction’ in one sentence, was something she hadn’t quite anticipated.

In the years she had come to know him, she had figured out that the man had a huge sweet tooth and would look for any opportunity to stuff his mouth with the sweetest thing he could find and she was more than fine with it, because Hey? She liked to smoke, he liked to eat disgustingly sweet things and everybody else on Earth was probably also addicted to atleast something. But it becomes a problem when your ‘addiction’ causes you to suffer, which in Gintoki’s case, manifested in the form an extremely painful toothache.

“I am not leaving this room, you hear me!” He shouted from inside as he held his cheek trying to soothe his pain. He thought about the last time he had visited the dentist and shuddered. Looking at his free hand, he thanked God that he didn’t walk out of the clinic that day with a toothbrush in place of his arm.

“He’ll just take a look and we’ll be back before we know it!” Tsukuyo shouted back, still trying to get the door to open but it seemed as if Gintoki had blocked it from the inside somehow.

“That’s what they all say! And then before you know it, you’re walking out of the clinic with a tooth missing from your mouth!”

Tsukuyo rolled her eyes at his childish argument. She figured she wasn’t going to have any luck opening the door by force so she decided to be crafty. Perhaps a bribe would work better. She smirked as her mind began to cook up an offer he could not refuse.

“Okay, if you don’t wanna go, it’s fine.”

Gintoki’s ears perked up when he heard her say those words. It seemed highly suspicious to him that after pestering him for a whole day to go the doctor, she would give up like that. But then again if he hadn’t whined so much about his toothache in the first place, she wouldn’t have even asked him to get it checked out.

Maybe, she decided to let it go?

He slowly got up and opened the door slightly to see what was going on.

Tsukuyo was sitting on the couch, smoking her pipe. He let out a sigh of relief and decided to walk over to her, one hand still on his cheek. He sat down opposite to her and opened his copy of Shonen jump, hoping it would help him take his mind off the throbbing pain in his gums.

“It’s really unfortunate you know. Hinowa was just telling me about this amazing desserts shop that opened last week but since you have a toothache, we can’t really go.”

So that was her plan.

Gintoki smirked understanding all too quick what she was trying to do, but he wasn’t going go down that easy.

“I see. Well, maybe it’s about time I start cutting down on my sugar intake.” He lied. There was nothing in this world that could make him do that but if he wanted to win against her, he had to make bold statements.

“Really? Well, I guess you’ll miss out on their special jumbo parfait then.”

“That’s fine with me.”

“I heard it reaches 3 feet high.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And it’s supposed to taste like every dessert combined.”

“…”

“They even top it off with this divine strawberry syr-”

“FINE! I’ll go get it checked out, but you’re going to take me to this new place as soon as we leave.”

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he needed more than bold statements to win against Tsukuyo. So he surrendered. And in the next hour he found himself sitting in the most dreadful seat he had ever been in.

The walls of the clinic were pink in color and the furniture along with the dental chair was white, as if the architect wanted to mimic an actual mouth.  There were posters of people smiling, showing off their perfectly straight, white and cavity-free teeth. There was another one with a dentist standing next to a tooth, which had face on it and both of them seemed to be doing a fist bump. To Gintoki, that was something he’d see in his nightmares but for the sake of his jumbo parfait that Tsukuyo had promised him, he suppressed his urge to scream at it.

“Don’t let go of my hand okay?” he tightened his grip on her hand and looked at her as if he was about to die. All the color on his face had drained and at that moment she really was sure he would faint the moment the doctor entered the room.

“Gintoki…”

By the way he was acting; even Tsukuyo had started to get afraid. Was getting a tooth extraction really that big of a deal? She shook her head in denial. Even if did hurt as bad as he was acting it would, she was going to make sure he got it. Because she definitely wasn’t going to spend another day listening to him whine about how bad his toothache was.

“Okay, but promise me you won’t run away when the doctor comes?”

Gintoki nodded his head vigorously before shutting his eyes close.

That’s right. He didn’t need to see anything happen. It can’t hurt you if you don’t acknowledge it. Right! Everything was for the sake of the Jumbo parfait that was waiting for him outside the doors of this place.

Bracing himself for the dread that was about to come, he took a deep breath and felt his soul leave his body as he heard the door open with an eerie creak.

“Ah, I see you’re already settled. Well then, let’s see how bad the damage is?”

He heard the Doctor put on his latex gloves and opened his mouth reluctantly. He felt something cold touch the inside of his cheeks and closed his free hand into a fist. Turning his attention away from click and clack of the dental equipment hitting the tray, he tried to focus on the ticking of the clock hanging above him.

Wrong move.

With every passing second he became more and more aware that death would soon come take him but what annoyed him the most was how slowly time was passing. He mentally cursed the clock for mocking and teasing him in his time of worry.

“Hmmm…. Well, the cavity has grown pretty deep. The only option is to remove it.”

There it was. The death sentence.

He slowly opened one of his eye to take a look at what happening and saw the doctor smile back at him innocently as if he wasn’t about to rob him of his tooth in a few minutes. He also took a look at Tsukuyo who was looking worriedly at the huge syringe in the Dentist’s hand. It was then that he realized that his grip on her hand had loosed a while ago and now, she was the one clutching his hand. A little too tight that it hurt but if he was being honest, if this pain would take his mind off his awaiting tooth extraction, he was ready to endure it.

“Open wide for me.”

The doctor administered the local anesthesia and waited for a while before grabbing a forceps-like tool from his tray.

Gintoki shut his eyes once again and counted to three before he felt Tsukuyo’s hold on him loosen. He slowly opened his eyes again and saw the dentist setting his tooth aside on the tray.

“The anesthesia will wear off in about two hours. Remove the gauze after about an hour and it’s fine to see a little bit of blood in your saliva but if the bleeding is heavy, it will treated as a medical emergency. Oh, and be sure to eat only soft food for a few days like soup or ice-cream.”

Tsukuyo listened intently to the instructions of the dentist and thanked him for his work before looking back at Gintoki, giving him a relaxed smile.

“Right. Ice-cream it is.”

.

Walking out the clinic, Gintoki felt like a new man. Finally, he was free to go drown himself in all the ice-cream and parfaits he could manage but first…

“See? That wasn’t all that bad was it?” Tsukuyo walked a little infront him and said in a told-you-so voice.

“I don’t know, I had others things occupying my mind at the time, but maybe you could tell me?” He wasn’t really supposed to talk after his treatment but he couldn’t wait to see her reaction any longer.

Tsukuyo turned around at his remark with a confused face and saw him holding up his right hand directly at her which had a very visible bright red imprint of her own on it.

“T-That is-” She turned around nervously sputtering something he couldn’t quite understand and started walking at a fast pace.

“Oi, you sure you wanna leave me here? You seemed pretty worried about me a while ago? Why don’t you hold my hand again so we don’t get separated?”

She could feel him smiling smugly at her and picked up her pace even more.

“Shut up! Do you want go get the parfait or not?!”

Gintoki relished in his successful attempt of making her embarrassed a little while longer before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, I’m coming.” He scratched the back of his head and started following behind her.

Man, He really couldn’t win against Tsukuyo.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: Love Language, ch. 2

Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Sabine Cheng/Tom Dupain, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Wayhem

Characters: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Kagami Tsurugi, Tikki, Tom Dupain, Tomoe Tsurugi, Sabine Cheng, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Alya Césaire, Nino Lahiffe, Kitty Section,  Jagged Stone, Penny Rolling, Clara Nightingale, Alec Cataldi, Nadja Chamack, Fang, XY, Lila Rossi, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste's Bodyguard

Additional Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Language of Flowers, Gifts, Traditions, Holidays, Cultural Differences, Kimono, Qipao, Family, Love, Romance, Celebrations, Symbolism, Aged-Up Character(s), Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Christmas Fluff, Identity Reveal, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, Family Dinners, Airports, feeding each other, sharing ceremony, Anxiety, Engagement, Kissing, It was supposed to be a one-shot, Admiration, Pet Names, Cuddling & Snuggling, yin and yang, Communication

Summary: Kagami is nervous the entire flight back to France, waiting to see Marinette at the airport.

AO3 link (chapter 3 contains smut)

FFN link (chapter 3 contains implied sex)

Part 5 (currently) of the Catch a Falling Star series

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Love Language: Chapter 1

--------

Kagami had asked Marinette and her parents to come to the airport to greet them on their return. The intention was a dinner at the Tsurugi home, with Marinette spending the night afterward.

Really, she hoped to have a late gift exchange. The hitch was that Kagami’s gift to Marinette… was an engagement ring. In truth, she wished to propose to her upon their reunion at the airport.

She had agonized for weeks over design possibilities, quite aware Marinette’s skill in that area and anxious of failure. She had carefully selected the engagement ring and wedding band, custom ordering it from a Japanese jeweler, Mokumeganeya, and choosing the same style for herself with different accompanying stones.

The diamond cut was special, the Sakura cut, symbolizing the cherry blossom—her desire to spend the rest of their beautiful, fleeting lives together. Her own engagement ring had rubies on either side of the diamond. Marinette’s had pink tourmaline. The wedding bands were tsunagaru-katachi, one connected wide ring cut from the same billet of Mokumegane to be pulled apart at the ceremony, each with three stones: tourmaline on one side, ruby on the other, with the purity of a diamond in between to represent the pure bliss of their union.

The union she hoped Marinette wished to share with her.

The designer she had met with had been confused by the order of two tsunagaru-katachi, one for engagement and one for wedding bands, as normally the engagement ring and both wedding bands were made from the base sheet. Same-sex marriages were new in Japan and restricted to certain areas, but the Tsurugi name carried enough weight for the request to be accepted without judgment.

The engagement rings were still connected by a tiny bit of metal, and should Marinette say yes, they would have a sharing ceremony over a celebratory dinner.

Kagami couldn’t stop herself from checking her bag, in front of her on the floor of the aircraft, for the velvet box again, for what had to be the umpteenth time.

“Kagami, fidgeting is unlike you,” her mother commented in Japanese. “What troubles you? Surely not doubts?”

“I only hope Mari-tō shares my desire to be united in marriage, Mother.” She realized abruptly that made her sound doubtful. “I have no doubt she does, but even with such certainty, I cannot help but be nervous.”

“Ah, I believe that is anxiety, which your chosen mate has much experience with according to her mother,” Tomoe responded.

“I believe hers is quite a bit more severe than what I am experiencing at present, but this experience gives me a new appreciation of her fortitude.”

Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder in a rare show of affection. “Then I have no doubt you will also conquer it and grow as a result. In the meantime, I suggest meditation.”

The rest of the flight passed quickly as her meditation faded into sleep; Kagami woke as they were landing, and immediately understood what people meant regarding butterflies in one’s stomach.

Her mother always travelled first class, so there was no wait to disembark. With other members of their retinue tasked with retrieving luggage and preparing to document her proposal, following a brief check by customs, there was nothing to delay meeting Marinette.

Kagami ducked into a restroom to smooth her clothing in a mirror, having chosen a simple andon-bakama, black with embroidered cranes and sunflowers—symbols of hope—with a red kosode for this occasion. A full kimono would have been uncomfortable on the long plane ride, but she wanted a level of formality for this occasion.

Tomoe waited patiently, not interrupting her as she checked herself in the mirror, likely recognizing this as more anxiety. But she had indicated her expectation that Kagami conquer it, so with a deep breath she left the restroom to continue on to meet Marinette.

Marinette was waiting beyond security with her parents, and she looked radiant. She was dressed in a pale pink qipao with gold embroidery, her pigtails higher on her head, in gentle buns that cascaded.

Kagami thought she might melt at the sight of her.

She met Marinette’s smile with what she hoped was an acceptable one of her own, striding forward at the beat of her own heart before dropping to one knee, pulling the velvet box from her bag, and opening it. She was vaguely aware of the flash of cameras.

“Marinette… Mari-tō… I have been blessed every day by your presence in my life. Will you marry me?”

Kagami could see tears shining in Marinette’s eyes. Instead of an answer, Marinette presented her with a wrapped box.

“My answer is in here,” she said softly.

The box was shaking slightly in her grasp, and Kagami took it, closing the ring box and placing it back in her bag to unwrap.

Inside was a qipao, crimson with gold and silver embroidery. Down the bust was a resplendent dragon. In its claw it held a lotus.

Looking up, she realized Marinette wore its yin, a lustrous phoenix with its own lotus in a talon. She recognized the symbolism of two lotus blooms—shared heart and harmony, hé for union. There were other flowers as well, gently ornamented around the phoenix, mirrored around the dragon. Lilies, orchids, peonies, daffodils, roses, and tulips, and a winding pattern of gentle twined vines.

Marinette had prepared her ‘yes’ in advance, in such a Marinette way.

“Kagami?” She realized abruptly that her mother couldn’t see the symbolism.

“Marinette has gifted me a qipao, embroidered with a golden dragon holding a lotus. She is wearing one with a phoenix holding its own lotus.”

A soft intake of breath meant her mother also knew the symbolism; unsurprising, given she had taught it to Kagami.

Marinette’s smile widened. “Ma sirène, I can think of no greater joy than spending the rest of my life with you.”

Kagami was hardly aware of getting to her feet, only of pulling Marinette into her arms, finding her lips in a public display of affection she would normally not indulge in but felt right in this moment. She was lost in her, their warmth and closeness, in the smell of yeast and cinnamon sugar that seemed ingrained in her hair.

Slowly she was aware of applause, and she broke from Marinette to find that the airport had stilled around them, their engagement having gained attention.

Marinette’s cheeks were red, and she was certain hers were as well if the heat in her face was any indication.

The attention was, thankfully, short-lived, with well-wishers expressing congratulations. Kagami was mostly aware of Marinette at her side as they were led to the waiting limo for the ride home.

It was another kiss from Marinette that pulled her more into awareness, when they entered the home.

“I wish to wear the qipao to dinner,” Kagami told her. “You hand-embroidered it yourself, didn’t you? It’s stunning.”

Marinette blushed happily at the compliment.

“Might I feel the stitching first, Marinette?” Tomoe asked politely. “I am only able to see with my hands.”

“Of course, Tsurugi-san!” Marinette gently took the garment from Kagami to present to her mother.

She tutted. “Please, simply Tomoe is fine. You are to become family. Following the wedding, you may feel free to call me kaasan or haha, whichever you feel comfortable with.”

Kagami thought Marinette might spontaneously combust at the offer, but she stood still as Tomoe’s hand ran over the proffered qipao, finding the shape of the embroidery with ease.

“This is splendid work,” she said softly. “You must have been working on this for some time.”

Marinette giggled softly. “Actually, I started it when I received the package with the kimono.”

Tomoe’s fingers went still at that, and then gently grasped Marinette’s right hand, pulling it out from under the fabric and feeling at the fingers. Kagami could see they were red, calloused, and her heart ached at the sight.

“Have more care with these, Marinette,” Tomoe said finally. “They work magic, and should be treated well.”

She asked one of the servants to bring a salve for Marinette’s fingers to Kagami’s room, and then invited Sabine and Tom to sit with her for pre-dinner tea, effectively dismissing the two of them until dinner.

When they were safely in Kagami’s room, she took Marinette’s hands, kissing each fingertip with reverence. When the salve arrived, she dabbed it on gently, rubbing it in with a tender touch.

They did not have time for relaxation, with dinner on the horizon, so Kagami changed into the qipao, which fit splendidly, falling just above her ankles and hugging her body in a way that gave her a figure. The slits up the sides were something she was unused to, but they did not go high enough to cause her discomfort or embarrassment. The higher collar gave the garment a modest appearance.

Marinette straightened and smoothed the fabric, making sure nothing was creased. She had only just finished when dinner was announced.

The meal was one of Kagami’s favorites, sukiyaki with a lovely variety of vegetable side dishes. It was everything one could want on a cold winter evening.

Afterward, Kagami placed the velvet box on the table.

“The rings are tsunagaru-katachi, cut from one block,” she said, opening the box and pulling out the rings to show they were joined by a tiny bit of remaining uncut metal. “In this sharing ceremony, we will together split them into two rings, to symbolize our eternal bond.”

She heard a sniffle and realized Tom was tearing up, and paused, uncertain how to react.

Sabine just smiled. “He’s a bit of a sucker for romance. Please go on, dear.”

Kagami turned back to Marinette. “Mari-tō, I chose the Sakura-cut diamond, as the cut has more facets, making the diamond as brilliant as you. Cherry blossoms represent the fleeting beauty of life, and I wish to spend the rest of mine with you.”

Marinette’s eyes were wet, and Kagami knew she was just as much a romantic as Tom was. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to make her cry, though it would certainly show her she had hit her mark.

“The pink tourmaline is a representation of your love and compassion, and the way you work to protect and heal those around you,” she continued. “And the ruby represents the passion you have inspired in me, the zest for life you have instilled in me since we met.”

There went the tears; she had absolutely hit the mark.

“Mari-tō, will you share this ring with me?”

Marinette reached forward, letting Kagami guide her hand as they gently pulled the rings apart, gently bending and breaking the bit of metal that kept them together. Then Kagami took Marinette’s left hand, sliding the perfectly-fitting ring onto her ring finger. Marinette did the same.

Together, they let Sabine take pictures, and eventually Marinette pulled out her phone to take a selfie of them and their rings, quickly posting it to her Instagram with the caption, “Kagami asked for my hand in marriage, and I accepted. We just had our sharing ceremony with the lovely tsunagaru-katachi she designed.”

Kagami pulled out her own phone to like and share with her own followers. “I get to share my life with the most wonderful woman in Paris.”

By the time they were done, the table had been set for dessert and tea. The centerpiece was a Bûche de Noël brought by Marinette’s parents, and next to it was a red celebration suama. They were surrounded by wagashi, yuzu castella, manjū and mizu yōkan. Several pots containing different varieties of tea were also on the table.

It was a night of celebration. A night that let Kagami hear her mother’s rare laughter as Tom used puns and Sabine regaled Tomoe with silly stories of Marinette growing up. A night that showed they would be, altogether, a lovely family, both sides together. A night that allowed her to feed Marinette her favorite Japanese sweets, and be fed by her in turn.

They ignored the soft mobile notifications of text messages from friends to focus on each other.

The tea was replaced by watered down sparkling sake to celebrate an auspicious night, and as she snuggled with the best friend who had become her beloved, Kagami found herself more content than she had ever been.

[whentherewerebicycles]

some good lifestyle things:

I’ve been eating by the “how not to die” guidelines for 24 weeks now (five months and some change) and I love iiiiit. I still make a couple tiny exceptions—I cook with eggs maybe once a month, use a little more oil in cooking than I probably should, and sometimes put a couple tablespoons of Greek yogurt in my morning smoothie bc I like the flavor—but really have not missed cheese, sugar, non-whole grain breads, ice cream, etc. definitely feel a lot better just in general: no more cravings, joint pain is COMPLETELY gone (what a fucking miracle!!!!), sleep is betterish, no late in the day energy crashes, and I never feel ravenously hungry or like I’m “starving” anymore (that panicky starve/binge cycle). for me quarantine has been a good reset/chance to solidify better eating habits on the whole, bc I have plenty of time to do meal prep + total control over what is in my food environment. also I love using the Daily Dozen app because, as I think I’ve said before, it makes it feel less like obsessively monitoring food intake and more like a fun challenge or game to see how many categories I can check off in a single meal.

I’m now on week 3 of no drinking and am going to see if I can do a sober summer, probably with an exception for my brother’s wedding/our seattle trip. so three months in all, and then I want to reassess to see if I want to keep going. I am trying to never again make losing weight my top priority in any lifestyle change, but I do think that alcohol (esp some HEAVY and consistent binge drinking early in the lockdown whoops) is def one of the reasons I haven’t dropped much weight despite major changes to how I eat. this is, again, easier to control in quarantine bc no social drinking opportunities, which have historically been my downfall in past attempts to cut back on alcohol intake. anyway hoping I can use the summer to solidify some good habits!!

doing pretty well with exercise! we are getting into the intolerable heat phase of the year which is always rough but I’m trying to push through. adding in some rollerblading sessions helps because it’s super fun and different enough to be interesting, and also it means I don’t have to run so often to get a more intense cardio workout. the downside is there’s sometimes more of a mental block there because I have to put on all my gear and lug the skates down the street so some days when I intend to go I putter around too long and don’t end up making it outside before it’s either too hot or too dark. but!! working on it. I’ve also been tracking exercise more carefully the past couple weeks:

so that is useful and will maybe help me notice patterns of activity/inactivity. I am also almost done with the couch to 5k program I started when lockdown began—5 runs left! I can finish that easily by the end of June, and then I’m going to start their 10k program in July. I WISH I COULD BE SWIMMING THIS SUMMER but I feel too nervous about the indoor pool and so have opted to suspend my ymca membership until August or later.

umm what else. I bought a jumprope! I’m reading this book about exercise in the brain! I’m trying to track heart rate during workouts! I still for some reason find myself vehemently resisting bodyweight exercises (maybe bc they feel too much like a fitness class to me), but maybe. we’ll see. the secret to getting me interested is probably to keep reading about sidney crosby’s legs and core workouts bc then it’ll hook my fic imagination.

anyway I feel good/strong in my body these days!! also a side effect of changing my diet is that my skin is so clear and my curls are SO LUXURIOUS AND GLOSSY it’s kind of insane. too bad it’s all going to WASTE locked indoors but oh well. when all this ends I will emerge into the world very tan and sober and glowing with good health, god willing.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Advent Drabble - “Baker’s Creed” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been competing with one another their entire relationship. Now, without knowing it, they're competing for their daughter's affection. Will they work things out before it destroys their kitchen? (2916 words)

Notes: Written to include the @klaineadvent 2019 prompts creed, lecture, and quarrel, as well as the @gleepotluckbigbang prompts cookies, sick, and charity.

Read on AO3.

Blaine wakes up to an empty bed, a script weighing down his chest, and the sinfully sweet smell of Kurt’s chocolate chip cookies wafting through the air.

“Mmm … cookies for breakfast,” he mutters through heavy lips. Next to sex, it’s his favorite way to wake up. He inhales deep. “Time to get myself some sugar.” He giggles at his own suggestive remark, giddy with sleep drunkenness. He moves the script to the side and stretches, using the opportunity of a (temporarily) empty bed to monopolize as much space as possible. The stiffness in his arms unravels, his back cracks, and a feeling of utter euphoria fills his body.

“Ahhhh. This is nice.”

He turns to Kurt’s side of the bed and blows it a kiss. It strikes him for a moment that Kurt being out of bed already is a bit odd, but he can’t remember why. So, as his mind starts to clear, he runs down the check list.

What day is today?

Thursday.

Okay. Makes sense then. Kurt should be up and getting ready for work.

Blaine smiles, rolling on his side and cozying up to his husband’s pillow. He inhales again.

Kurt’s pillowcase still smells like him.

Blaine hugs it, running his nose along the crease that once cradled Kurt’s ear.

“Yes, Kurt,” he whispers, imagining himself in the kitchen, standing behind his husband, arms wrapped over his as Kurt prepares dough for the baking sheet. “Let me help you roll some balls, hmm? Whaddya say? You always tell me how good I am at …”

No!

The word pings through Blaine’s brain like a paddle ball, knocking the daydream from right out of his head.

It’s not Thursday. It’s Friday. Yesterday was Thursday. That’s when Blaine got the script for his new pilot, Mutiny on the Bounty – a campy, madcap comedy about a team of armored car thieves/assassins who manage to pull off the most dangerous and insane heist of the year by screwing every single thing up. The writing is stellar, the cast (comprised entirely of LGBTQ actors) revolutionary. JVN has been on board with the project since go and Blaine couldn’t be more excited to share billing with him.

Best of all, his daughter Tracy – 14-years-old and a huge Queer Eye fan – now looks at Blaine as if he walks on water. Considering what raising a teenager has been like thus far, Blaine is ecstatic that he’s managed to pull that off.

They were going to celebrate last night by having dinner at Per Se, and then he and Kurt were going to do some adult style celebrating after Tracy fell asleep, but Kurt started running a fever and …

Shit!

Blaine sits straight up in bed, nearly tossing Kurt’s pillow across the room, becoming both sober and awake in a blink, which makes his head throb.

Kurt has the flu!

Blaine looks at the empty spot again. The last Blaine remembers of his husband, he was high on NyQuil and fast asleep.

So what was he doing in the kitchen baking cookies?

Memories start flying at him hard and fast, and that’s when it finally hits him.

Bake sale!

The bake sale to raise money for the field trip to Washington D. C. that Tracy has been looking forward to since they found out about it at the beginning of the school year.

The bake sale Tracy failed to remind them about until BEFORE BEDTIME!

The bake sale that parents are required to participate in as half of their children’s citizenship grade and which the school would not simply allow them to cut a check to avoid.

“We are not a charity, Mr. Anderson,” Mrs. Palmer, Tracy’s principal (who sort of reminds Blaine of the dean from Monsters University), had said when he asked. “We have the money in our budget to accommodate all of our children. But if we, too, cut a check every time a teachable moment arises, we wouldn’t be much of a school, now, would we?”

Blaine had agreed to her face then spent an entire ride back to their house in his Mercedes replaying that moment with the addition of him buying the school outright with a check and firing her just to make himself feel better.

Kurt had been determined to make those cookies. But Blaine told Kurt not to worry about it, go to bed and sleep off being sick. He’d take care of it in the morning. Blaine even set his alarm clock for three a.m. so that he could do it. He glances over at his phone, the time on the screen reading 3:45 a.m. He glares at it, wondering why the alarm didn’t go off when it should have. Squinting harder, he sees why.

The little clock icon beneath the numbers, the one that indicates an alarm has been set, is no longer there. Blaine remembers vividly it being there when he went to bed. He’d double checked.

Then triple checked.

Which means Kurt had been feigning sleep until Blaine passed out, then crept downstairs to make the cookies himself!

Because he’s stubborn.

And now, Blaine has to go into the den of the dragon and persuade him to abandon his cookies and come back to bed.

Fun.

Blaine sighs. He swings his legs over the side of the bed but he doesn’t let his feet touch the floor. Then he sighs again. He’s not looking forward to the Battle Royale he’s heading into, but he has to do it. He has to get his husband back to bed by any means necessary.

Parts of his body twitch in excitement when the image of him throwing Kurt over his shoulder and carrying him back to their room kicking and protesting leaps to mind, and he scowls.

“Not now,” he grumbles. He stands up, slides his feet into his slippers, and heads to the kitchen.

The sounds of his miserable husband baking while physically unwell come to him in stages.

First, the sharp ringing of metal utensils hitting the sides of metal bowls.

The mixer running is next, then a timer for the oven goes off.

Finally, the sniffling, the sneezing, and the coughing, which should be a giant red flag to someone like Kurt (both a perfectionist and a germaphobe) that baking isn’t the brightest idea right now.

Blaine’s not going to point that out. It’s simply an observation.

Blaine pads quietly into the kitchen. Kurt doesn’t seem to notice – eyes red-hot and blurry with fever. He slides past Blaine twice without looking his way, making Blaine wonder if his husband may, in fact, be sleep-baking.

“Kurt? Honey?” he says in a low, calm voice so as not to startle him. “It’s almost four in the morning. You have the flu. You have to get some sleep.”

Kurt sniffles. “I don’t care,” he says in a ragged, rough voice. “I’m not done! I have four more batches in the oven, nine on the counter ready to go. I have to finish before seven.”

“Then let me do it for you. I told you I would.”

“I can’t let you do it for me!” Kurt grumbles, stirring chocolate chips into a bowl that Blaine is 88% certain has nothing else in it. “I started these cookies and I’m going to finish them!”

“I don’t understand, Kurt! What’s the big deal? They’re just cookies!”

Kurt gasps, the quick intake of breath through his dry throat starting a massive coughing fit – one that Blaine stands patiently through till the end so that his husband can continue lecturing him. “They’re not just cookies! These are my mother’s chocolate chip cookies!”

“I know! And I’ve made them with you for over a decade so I can definitely finish these!”

“It’s not that you can’t do it! It’s that I don’t want you to do it!”

“Why not?”

“It’s the principle of the matter, Blaine!” Kurt argues, trading his chip-filled bowl for a baking sheet. “I have promises to keep! Oaths to uphold! A whole … a whole … baker’s creed!”

Blaine’s face pinches, but he keeps himself from laughing, even once, as that would not go well. “A … a baker’s creed?”

Kurt stops rushing from counter to oven with a baking sheet of uncooked dough in his hands long enough to glare at his husband with steely, red-rimmed eyes. “It’s a real thing, Blaine! Look it up!”

“How about I just take your word for it?”

“Whatever.”

“Come on, honey.” Blaine tries to cut Kurt off, tries to swipe the baking sheet from him, but he doesn’t have much success. “It’s not that big a deal!”

“Of course it’s not that big a deal to you, Mr. Big Movie Star who just landed a movie starring Jonathan Van Ness!” Kurt laughs, then snorts, then hacks so loudly his throat sounds like it’s going to explode. “You’ve won! Conquered the teenage years ahead of schedule, jumped to the head of the class!”

“Is that what this is all about?” Blaine asks, gesturing at the mess Kurt has made in the kitchen, completely out of character for him. He’s not baking for the enjoyment of it. He’s baking out of vengeance - to get back at Blaine. “Kurt! I worked hard to get that role!”

“I never said you didn’t! But there are a hundred things I’ve worked hard to accomplish here in this house! Accomplish with our precocious daughter! And right when I feel like I’m slipping back to the starting line again, you find a way to bypass all of that and leap ahead!” Kurt sighs. No – flattens is more the word. He sinks to the floor, sitting amidst starbursts of baking soda, and sets the baking sheet indelicately onto the tile. “The same way you always do.”

Blaine looks down at his poor husband, hugging his knees on the powder-covered ground. Then he looks around the kitchen, at the cookies Kurt had been throwing together in an attempt to have them all done by the morning – all wrapped up for Tracy to take. His mother’s chocolate chip cookies, by far the most popular cookie he bakes. It’s his signature cookie, all his by now since he’s made little tweaks here and there – a bit more brown sugar, a bit less white, one more egg yolk, cake flour instead of all-purpose, which Blaine would have advised against but, as always when it comes to baking matters, Kurt was right. These cookies have been Kurt’s claim to fame at PTA meetings and bake sales all over Manhattan for the entirety of Tracy’s life. But most of all, they’re the first cookies Tracy ever helped him make.

And they’re her favorites.

And whether making these cookies actually does anything to move the needle in Kurt’s favor, he needed to accomplish this by himself. For himself. Raising his self-esteem wasn’t dependent on Tracy so much as it was dependent upon Kurt.

Blaine sees that now.

“You’re right, Kurt,” Blaine says, sliding down the cabinet to join him. “I lucked out. I found the Golden Ticket, without even knowing that’s what it would turn out to be. But I didn’t do it to undermine you! I swear to God I didn’t!”

“Swearing to God doesn’t really help your case here.”

“And me getting one awesome role doesn’t wash away all the amazing things you’ve done for Tracy these past fourteen years - the homemade Halloween costumes, the sing-a-longs, the school plays you’ve volunteered to direct, the school trips you’ve chaperoned, the bake sales and the cookies and the birthday cupcakes.” He inches closer, bumps their shoulders together. “All the nightmares you’ve chased away, the tears you’ve dried. Kurt … one role in one stupid movie can’t compete with any of that. To tell you the truth, that’s why I was so over-the-moon when she got excited about it. Because I’m not the one she goes to when she wakes up in the middle of the night, or when she falls and scrapes her knee, or when she needs cookies for a bake sale. It’s you.”

Kurt reaches for Blaine’s hand, weaves their fingers together. “She goes to you, too.”

Blaine shakes his head. “Not as much. Not since she was about seven. I don’t know what changed but she was your girl after that.”

Kurt peeks at Blaine, his head the one hanging now, gazing at their joined hands with watery eyes.

“It’s not a stupid movie,” Kurt says. “It’s going to be a kick-ass amazing movie, and you know it.”

“But it’s not as important as Tracy. Or you. And, yeah, she’s all gaga about it now, but I’m going to be gone for how many months?”

“Oh,” Kurt says sadly. “I didn’t think about that.”

Blaine’s head finds his husband’s shoulder and rests there. “There’s so many things we compete over. Tracy’s affection shouldn’t be one of them. She loves us both. I know that, even if I have to remind myself over and over some days.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just been hard lately, watching her follow you around like a puppy, begging to read through lines with you and talking about becoming an actress when yesterday she was reading over my copy for Vogue and talking about becoming a designer and asking Isabelle how old she has to be to intern and … oh …” Kurt repeats, realization springing to life in his brain at how often Tracy goes to the office with him, helps him pick through his photographs, gives her two cents on fabric choices, helps him accessorize models …

Oh …

“Yup,” Blaine says as if he can read his husband’s mind. “Tomorrow she might wake up and tell us she wants to be a neurosurgeon because Louis Tomlinson decided to give up singing and go to medical school so who knows? If you’ve taught me anything about raising kids it’s that they change their minds like the wind. In fact, pretty much everything I know about raising our daughter I’ve learned from you, and do you know why?”

“Hmm?”

“Because you’re an amazing father.”

Kurt smiles, kisses the top of Blaine’s head. “So are you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Blaine brings Kurt’s hand to his mouth and gives it a kiss. They melt into one another on the kitchen floor, content to remain there, nestled in their puddle of baking soda, surrounded by the scent of chocolate chip cookies, until sun up. But something in the vicinity of the oven pops, interrupting their serene moment.

“So, are you ready to power down the oven and head to bed?” Blaine asks, eyeing the appliance anxiously.

“But what about the cookies? The school needs them in four hours!”

“I’ll get them whipped up. No problem.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Blaine hops up and helps a wobbly Kurt to his feet. “You run along and climb under the covers. I’m going to check some things out down here, then I’ll come in and tuck you into bed.”

Kurt peers at Blaine, his mind working, searching for an argument. “I don’t know. I still think …” He starts to keel forward and Blaine catches him. And Kurt nods, that being the end of that. “All right. I’m going.”

“Good.” Blaine smacks his husband on the behind as he shuffles away. He can’t help it. Even under-the-weather, his nose as red and watery as his eyes, he’s the sexiest man in the universe.

Blaine decides to start with the oven, figuring he should check on whatever that was that exploded before it does it again and takes the whole house with it. Cautiously, he opens the oven door. Before he can peek inside, a disgustingly sharp smell assails his nose and stings his eyes, forcing him to back away. Through barely-open lids he sees Kurt’s latest batch, which has melded into one single cookie, weighing down the baking sheet so much, the wire rack has begun to buckle.

This, he decides, could be a problem.

“Uh … Kurt?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you put in these?”

“The usual – sugar, butter, chocolate chips, vanilla …”

Blaine scans the kitchen while Kurt talks, finding each ingredient when he mentions it. Suspicious of one item in particular, he asks, “Did you put flour in these?”

“Of course I did! What do you take me for? An idiot?”

“No. Not at all. What flour did you use?”

“Cake flour.”

“Which bag?”

“That bag by the counter,” Kurt answers with a vague wave.

Blaine looks toward the counter, his eyes growing to comical width. “The one on the counter counter, or the one on the floor?”

“The one on the floor, I guess. What does it matter?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Blaine says. “N-not at all.” But that’s a lie. Because the bag of flour on the floor isn’t flour. It’s cement, from the kitchen remodel they’ve been planning. “I think … I’m just going to shut the oven off for now and run a few errands.”

“Errands? What errands?” Kurt asks in alarm. “It’s four in the morning!”

“I know.” Blaine grabs his coat and keys. “I just … I’m going to go get some bagels. For breakfast …” Along with nine dozen replacement cookies and a HAZMAT suit.

“Well, don’t take too long. And be careful.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you.”

On his way out the door, Blaine giggles to himself.

Because he’s going to solve this problem by writing a check.

[mszegedy]

mszegedy’s nutrition guide for people who want to lose weight without getting another ED

This post was prompted by an acquaintance of mine who asked for help losing weight for trans reasons. It is written from a DID-centric point of view (because we both have it), and is intended for people who’ve already been through an ED, and are trying to be careful to not get another one. That said, most of the information in this guide is useful to everyone.

I know I am dipping my toes in a deep pool here, on a website where people have strong opinions about nutrition science, and about EDs, and about body positivity. Let me say this much: if you are currently experiencing or recovering from an ED, this guide is not for you. This is not a guide that will magically let you jump from hating your body and diet to being both thin and healthy. This is for people who already have a degree of confidence in themselves, and a degree of love for their body, and are just afraid of trying to make any changes to their weight at all, because they worry they’ll get an ED. If you still have an ED, then you need to get help for that first, and then, once you’re more confident, come back and read this guide.

Alright, so, as a system with a host who’s a trans biochemist with an interest in nutrition chemistry, and as a system that’s had an ED before (basic binge/restrict anorexia, but motivated by money rather than weight), this is what we’ve got to say about healthy weight loss:

First of all, the body positivity mantra, which I’m sure you’ve heard before but needs to be the headline of any weight loss guide: the healthiest weight is whatever makes you the happiest. It is not healthy to push yourself too hard to lose weight. It is also not healthy to hate your body. Find a comfortable balance between the two. For us, as a system experiencing gender dysphoria, that first meant putting a lot of effort into looking the way we wanted to, and then gradually easing up as we got more comfortable with the peculiarities of our body.

The single aspect of your diet that impacts your health the most is regularity. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to get the same amount of each nutrient every day, or even the same amount of calories per day. What it does mean is that you have to add eating each day to your schedule. If you have a history of ED, you may simply forget to eat most of the time. (I know we do.) That’s why you have to manually take control, and nail down a time window each day when you can eat. Even if it’s just once, although you should work your way up to two or three eventually. I don’t know how your system works, but in ours, basically, I do all the diet planning and execution, and everyone else whines about it (even our host, who shares our job as a biochemist).

Calories are good. Calories are fuel. If you are consuming calories, you are alive. Be far more afraid of not consuming enough calories than of consuming too many. Extra calories are ballast, supporting you on days when you can’t eat as much. Missing calories are death. Every calorie you eat is precious brain and body fuel. Your peak performance, especially brainwise, is when you’re not missing any fuel. Start worrying about whether you’ve had enough calories each day. But don’t count them! The number doesn’t matter! Trust me on this, the only meaningful part of your calorie intake is the digit in the thousands place, and if you try to calculate that, you’ll just end up counting calories again like a chump. Instead, just check whether you’re going to bed hungry or not. If you’re not hungry at the end of the day, and you’ve actually eaten, you’ve won that day. Learn to eyeball how much food lets you end a day like that.

Now that you’re forbidden to mess with the amount of calories you’re getting (beyond just making sure you’re getting enough), what can you mess with? Your diet’s nutrient breakdown. This is where knowing biochemistry comes in handy, because there’s SO many different kinds of nutrients to keep track of. First of all, the stuff that contains calories:

Sugars: The primordial fuel source. Pure energy, as far as your body is concerned. Avoid when trying to lose weight, but don’t feel guilty if you’re supplementing your calorie intake with it in small amounts on days when you otherwise wouldn’t be getting enough. Remember that there’s a really easy way to tell whether something contains sugar, namely whether it’s sweet. (Some things, like milk, aren’t sweet and still contain sugar. You just have to memorize those. And of course some things have non-sugar sweeteners in them, but in that case it’ll be obvious.)

Digestible starches: Sugars with a price. Still no nutritional value beyond energy, although they tend to come bundled with other nutrients like proteins. Again, not great if you’re trying to lose weight, but there’s no need to cut them out completely, unless you really don’t care about not being able to eat, say, potatoes. (There are also people who are helped by no-carb diets in other ways than weight loss for mysterious reasons, probably relating to allergies, but it’s not the end-all be-all of healthy diets that keto people make it out to be.)

Fats: A pretty inconvenient source of energy; breaking them down puts annoying, difficult-to-metabolize acids into your blood, and doesn’t net you all that much energy anyway. An ideal calorie source for losing weight; just make sure to consume as few sat fats as possible, and preferably no trans fats at all, which should be easy if you stay away from fast food places and stick to establishments that change out the oil in their fryers every, idk, 3 hours or so.

Amino acids and proteins: Now we’re getting somewhere! These guys are the “worst” energy sources out there. Breaking them up is very expensive, and turning the resulting amino acids into digestible calorie sources is a complicated and annoying process. But amino acids are a nutrient in their own right; every cell in your body is making tons of proteins continuously, some of them building important structures like skin and muscle, and they need a continuous supply of amino acids to do it. So, proteins? Great. Fantastic. You can’t have enough of them. Eat eggs and cheese and soy products, and if you’re that kind of person, meat. You can tell it's got amino acids and/or proteins in it when it tastes savory ("umami"); that's mainly the taste of glutamate, an important amino acid. Gluten is also made of proteins, but it’s even harder to digest than most other sources of protein, so you might have problems with it; and it comes bundled with a lot of starches, so, ehhh.

So, now for a couple non-calorie sources:

Vitamins: Vitamins have nothing in common with each other collectively; they’re just a bunch of random minor nutrients. If you’ve got your vitamins A, C, and D sorted out, then the only ones I’d worry about are folate (B9) and cobalamin (B12). B9 because it’s important for your brain, and tends to be missing in sufficient quantities from modern diets; we take methylfolate supplements every morning to make sure we get enough of it. B12 because it’s important in general, and may be missing in sufficient quantities from your diet, depending on what you eat. It’s only found in animal products, like meat, dairy and eggs. If you’re eating at least one of those regularly, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

Omega-3 fatty acids: Technically contain calories, but not enough of them to matter. Found in fish, and good for your brain. We’re vegetarian, but we take two capsules of these every morning, because they really help with depression and memory, which are both problems for us.

Iron: Found in meat, beans, falafel, spinach, and lentils, among other things (like cocoa!). Needed to replenish blood. You shouldn’t need supplements for this unless you actually get diagnosed with iron deficiency, or lose a LOT of blood in a short time (which, uh, happens).

Water and sodium: Long story short, your blood is counterfeit seawater. Land organisms don't actually exist; we just brought the sea with us when we crawled out of it. To counterfeit seawater, you need water and sodium. Hence, why they're important nutrients to us. Your kidneys do an excellent job of maintaining a particular level of sodium in your blood, but if you eat too much more sodium than you drink water, or drink too much more water than you eat sodium, then they won't be able to keep up. You usually shouldn't have to worry about this, but if everything you eat is salty, then maaaybe you should drink more water, or dial down the sodium in your diet. (Anything wet contains water, from energy drinks to the juices of fruits to sauces, so it's not very hard to get water. But some things contain a higher sodium-to-water ratio than you need, so they won't help you balance out a salty diet. Be mindful.)

Dietary fiber, aka non-digestible starches: I don’t have anything interesting to say about these. Conventional wisdom about fiber seems to be correct, as far as I know. I only listed it because it’s in most nutrition facts in the US.

So, now that you know the roles of the various kinds of nutrients, just eyeball the correct amounts of them for your diet. Broadly, the less carbs you eat, the more weight you’ll lose, but it’s not a race. Find a nutritious diet that makes you happy. Think about all your favorite foods and ingredients, and think about their nutrient breakdowns. Mentally award yourself points for eating nutritionally diverse foods. It’s a healthy thing to turn your ED instincts towards. Good luck!

(If people ask for sources I’ll add them, but I’ve already spent way too much time on this guide, so I won’t do it immediately.)

[magnolia-grandiflora18]

day #1 - sugar craving?

Right off the bat, I want to confess that I’m not perfect. After dinner today, I had a big bunch of food. I don’t know why, but for some reason, my sugar cravings came back. These cravings have not arrived for a long time, and I almost thought I’ve said goodbye for good. But no, I indulged in 3 dried figs, a chocolate, a bunch of 2% milk and cereal (saying out loud “What am I doing?” as I pull out the tub of cereal), and 4 more peanut butter pretzels. I could feel the franticness of opening and shutting drawers and cupboards, skimming for something I didn’t know coming back.

I also went on a spree of looking at clothes online, without any intention of buying anything. Just when I thought I had these two things under control. But clearly, I didn’t.

Mistake #1 - Overthinking food. Every time I write down restrictions for myself, or when I tell myself to log calories, I force myself into a tiny corner. I tried logging my calories today, and it disturbed the balance I’ve maintained for a while. It’s like pushing myself into a deficit, and punishing myself to work extra to burn any additional calories off. It never ends up pretty. I need to remember that everything is in moderation, and everything is long-term. I thought about food too much when I was having dinner, telling myself not to eat anything after dinner. Honestly, I need to listen to myself more in the moment. Just ask, “Am I still feeling hungry? Would I feel alright if I walked away?” More often than not, I’d be okay. So from now on, I’m not going to log anything. I’ll try to be conscious of what I eat, and cut portion size while generally eating two meals a day, with a small snack. I’ve done that before. Beautiful.

Mistake #2 - Not drinking enough water. I was only thirsty when I dunked the milk and cereal, because usually I’d be 1 full litre ahead of my current self, at this time of the day. I didn’t want to drink milk - I wasn’t even hungry. I wanted sweet, lovely water.

Mistake #3 - The more I eat sugar, the more I depend on sugar, and the more I crave sugar. The sugar craving that weirdly came today, even though my tummy was completely full, was because I ate more sugar today than I usually do. It opened a little latch in me, and my blood sugar maybe rode along. I need to learn to eat only a little bit of sugar over time, instead of going all-in for a bit, and all-out for another bit, which is unsustainable.

Mistake #4 - Instead of frantically flurrying down the cupboards in search of anything to help patch up my craving right away, I should have actively thought about what I wanted to eat. I could have easily and slowly laid it out on the table, portioned my food, and enjoyed it thoroughly and slowly. Even if it meant a slightly bigger snack, it would feel more satiating because I was in control. I didn’t feel ridiculously all over the place today, and was semi-aware of all my after-dinner snack-intake, but it could have been more well-planned and pleasurable.

I’m glad I came here to reflect right away, because I’m going to pick myself up right off the bat, and keep going. There are still things left on my to-do list that I’m confident I can finish if I try.

[playquiz]

Life without COFFEE

Although I am not one of those people who find themselves unable to work in the morning without daily caffeine intake,

I love the warm kind that makes me feel the happiness that coffee provides me. Life is full of delicate pleasures, as I like to call it, and coffee is one of my countries. However, as I write this, I am about to start my (fourth) experience "A Month Without Coffee". Well, it's not a big experiment, but it's more of a "habit" control. I used to drink up to six cups a day in January, and for me, this is too much. People just say, drink less. No need to give it up completely. Why are you doing that? She loves coffee. I love coffee. I love coffee! It is not bad advice. When giving up caffeine, or any other addictive substance, it is advised to reduce it gradually rather than absolutely nothing to minimize withdrawal symptoms... but I can't do that. I am not an "admin". All or nothing, I find it easier this way. So I'm going to go from six cups today, to zero tomorrow, and that's how you'll stay for the next 28 days. I think you can change your habits by knowing what drives your behavior. Take a few seconds to ask yourself why you're about to drink something. You always have a reason why you should make the choices you make, and when you drink a lot throughout the day, paying attention to whether this reason is productive or unproductive for your health is worth doing. I think of 4 reasons why I chose to choose coffee. Socially (Meet a friend for coffee) - For warmth - For strategic reasons (just before training) - For fun (I just love coffee time) I am sure you have other reasons to add it. "Addict" was not shown on my list, as I do not think I am "addicted" or "dependent" on coffee, or anything else in this regard. I think another reason to give up is not only due to serious health considerations, but also to prove to myself that coffee is not controlling me, I choose to drink it, and it can stop at any time. All I have to do is replace my coffee with a drink that rewards me in the same way, and this is much better for my health. Another way to control what you drink is to look for signs that make you choose: a specific time of day (such as morning), a particular place (such as Starbucks), when you are with certain people (for example your co-workers), or emotion (such as feeling tired) ), Or ritual behavior (such as waking up with coffee). Caffeine cut, but not ritual! Delicious alternatives that I will share with my caffeine habit: Lemon Juice and Warm Water: Warm water and lemon help detoxify the liver and kidneys from caffeine and the overload of coffee caused by the system. Herbal Tea (Caffeine Free): Peppermint is a stimulant, good for digestion while chamomile is soothing, good for stress and migraine headaches. Root tea: Licorice is useful to support the kidneys in times of stress and is a natural stimulant and ginger that helps mild headaches and digestion, as it is naturally stimulating. What happened the last time you did this? My memories were of the first few days of a very severe headache that peaked from day two to day four. After that, it was easy, and even when the 30 days were up, I didn't know if I wanted coffee or not. I found alternatives that are now part of my daily nutrition and have seen no rush to come back. But since I had never intended to give up coffee completely, slowly but surely, I crept into my work routine. Some days it was three, four others, five or six, depending on my location. Caffeine, like any drug that has different effects on different people, as I discovered, is linked to specific genes. Common symptoms are irritation, dehydration, fatigue, muscle tension, nausea, constipation, and lack of focus. Reducing withdrawal caffeine weakens adrenal, and liver functions and the acidic effect of coffee on the system can gradually deplete the body's general ability to flush out toxins and maintain an appropriate acid balance. By getting rid of caffeine, your body will start doing this to remove accumulated toxins and restore adrenal and liver functions. We have many things you can do to help support your system and help detoxify, as well as reduce drag systems. Lifestyle changes to the caffeine vitamin Drink plenty of water, at least 9 cups per day. Get plenty of good sleep. You are playing sports. I will help you detoxify and give you more energy naturally. Steam baths, leather brushes, and English salt baths help pull toxins through the skin. Nutrient foods: Eat foods rich in whole nutrients - fruits, vegetables, legumes, proteins, healthy fats, and grains rich in fiber. Fiber helps transfer toxins from your body and will stabilize the digestion process, which can be disrupted when caffeine is removed. Fruits and vegetables will help reduce the impact of acidifying coffee on the body, and will also help flush toxins out of your system. Avoid processed foods, sugars, and salt as they will cause your body to retain fluids. Add additional fiber supplements, such as flax, chia, or psyllium husk, to help detoxify the liver, kidneys, and intestines. Maca: It is a natural source of amino acids, essential fatty acids, vitamins and carbohydrates, and helps your body produce energy naturally, without any side effects from adrenal drainage. Add juices or sweets or stir in porridge or milk. Spirulina: a powerful microalga that removes toxins and is a good source of natural energy. It provides many essential nutrients and rare minerals to support your system, and it is surprisingly rich in protein. Add to green juices or in tablet form. Supplements when giving up caffeine (and adrenal gland) The liver is responsible for breaking down caffeine from the body. It is advisable to take a dietary supplement to assist it during this detoxing process. These include: Milk thistle magnesium Calcium Potassium zinc B vitamins Vitamin C So, because it seems, the foremost of the items I like to recommend to attenuate the effect of withdrawal symptoms, I do daily anyway, so apart from the standard behavior, I expect it to be relatively painless. The next question was, why? If I like coffee such a lot, why did you spend 28 days without it? In any case, the superb coffee for you... or is it? Yes and No. Thousands of studies need to be conducted on the consequences of caffeine over the past fifty years, one against another. The consensus seems to be that moderate (high-quality) coffee consumption is often more beneficial in many health indicators than none in the least. But what's "moderate". Again, the research varies counting on what you read, but the range appears to be between 300-400 mg of caffeine, as a maximum per day. It equates to 3 to four cups of coffee (depending on strength and size). Other reports recommend a maximum of two. As I said earlier, caffeine has different effects on different people, so it's difficult to answer. While I drank up to 6 each day and drank caffeine from other things, albeit in small amounts (from dark chocolate), it had been time to rest my body. The dangers of excessive caffeine in your system Calcium Caffeine causes calcium to be excreted within the urine and feces. For each 150 mg of ingested caffeine, approximately 5 mg of calcium is lost in one cup of coffee. This effect occurs even hours after consuming caffeine. Caffeine also blocks the quantity of calcium that's absorbed through the intestine and drains the amount kept by the bones. Tons of studies have shown that ladies who consume a better amount of caffeine have more hip fractures than those that avoid caffeine or drink moderately (1 to 2 cups per day). Vitamin D Caffeine blocks vitamin D receptors that limit the quantity which will be absorbed. Because vitamin D is essential in absorbing and using calcium in bone building, this will also reduce bone mineral density, which results in an increased risk of osteoporosis. iron As everyone knows, caffeine interferes with the absorption of iron from the body, which is essential for the assembly of red blood cells—drinking caffeine at an equivalent time because the iron source can reduce intake by up to 80%. Any caffeinated drink must be separated from iron-containing foods or supplements for a minimum of one hour. B vitamins As is understood, caffeine features a mild diuretic effect, which increases urination. Water-soluble vitamins, like B vitamins, are often depleted as a result of fluid loss. Additionally, it interferes with the metabolism of some B vitamins, like thiamine (Vitamin B1). The sole exception to the present rule seems to possess vitamin B12. It plays the catalyst role for caffeine to supply stomach acid, which helps the body absorb vitamin B12. Vitamins and other minerals All Vitamins and minerals are essential nutrients for normal cell function. Since it must be absorbed from the bloodstream to be effective, anything that impedes this process can cause the body to not getting enough nutrients. Caffeine can reduce the absorption of manganese, zinc, and copper. It also can increase the secretion of magnesium and potassium, sodium and phosphate minerals. There's also some evidence that caffeine interferes with the action of vitamin A. Your skin looks older. Skin needs tons of water to seem plump and glowing. But coffee may be a diuretic, which inspires your body to flush out water. If you drink tons of coffee, your skin may look dehydrated. If you flood your body with caffeine, this suggests that your systema nervosum has entered into an endless state of artificial stimulation. Therefore the skin is your largest organ and wishes oxygen-rich blood. When the body is in tension, it responds by directing the foremost oxygenated blood towards the guts and lungs. Therefore the skin isn't well-nourished. The systema lymphaticum, which removes waste, also doesn't function efficiently, leaving the skin slow and susceptible to burst. Cellulite Coffee can even be utilized in many anti-cellulite creams - applied to the skin from the surface, and toxins stored in fat cells are allegedly extracted to scale back cellulite - but this doesn't mean that drinking it'll have an equivalent positive effect. Coffee-induced dehydration encourages the skin to congest and solidify and to make a dense network that results in cellulite. Feel bad breath Like alcohol, coffee dries your mouth, and as a result, the quantity of saliva that rinses your mouth and fights bacteria decreases. We All Know that Caffeine can turn yellow teeth just like the same way as nicotine roll in the hay from cigarettes as coffee contains tannins, which are plant compounds that give coffee flavor. Coffee is extremely acidic, which over time can break down the enamel on the surface of the teeth. Diuretic effect You can't drink quite three cups of coffee each day features a diuretic effect on the body, because it interferes with the hormones that regulate our water balance. It leaves us dried and makes the urine more concentrated and acidic, which results in inflammation of the bladder walls and even results in painful urination and cystitis. Keep in mind that it takes five to 12 hours for the body to urge obviate caffeine, and once you sleep within the bed, you'll still be unable to sleep. Once washed away, coffee makes sleeping lighter and more annoying. It's because caffeine interferes with the assembly of melatonin, which helps us sleep. Every day is bad for the hair. Caffeine has been found to flush out vital minerals, including those needed for healthy hair growth, outside the body. Our body needs an honest supply of some vitamins and minerals for a reasonable condition of hair and pigmentation, including biotin, selenium, zinc, and copper. If we consume tons of coffee, this may affect our metal stores, which can hurt the condition of hair, including luster and texture. Metal loss may cause hair loss and premature greying. One of the most reasons for pre-menopausal hair loss is low iron levels and occasionally affects their absorption. Copper is believed to contribute to hair pigmentation so that any deficiency may cause premature greying. Insulin sensitivity decreases Regular consumption of caffeine reduces insulin sensitivity, making it difficult for your cells to reply appropriately to blood glucose. High blood glucose levels cause arterial degeneration and an increased risk of disorder. The acidity of coffee Coffee acidity is related to digestive discomfort, indigestion, heartburn, and intestinal disorders. addiction Addiction is usually a drag with coffee drinkers and makes it difficult to believe the body's natural energy source. Low levels of serotonin A component of the neurotransmitter serotonin referred to as the happy chemical present within the urine tends to be high in coffee drinkers, which suggests they'll be in danger of low levels of serotonin synthesis within the brain. Serotonin is essential for healthy sleep, bowel function, mood, and energy levels. It's a vicious circle because caffeine can disrupt sleep and promote anxiety and depression. We all know someone who tends to urge tired, wired and quit caffeine! Lots of reasons to chop back, or in my case, you've got an opportunity from caffeine altogether. It's essential to notice that a lot of the issues mentioned above relate to excessive caffeine consumption. I've also read tons of research on how moderate amounts can benefit our health and more if you drink at strategic times throughout the day. It's been linked to a lower risk of affected by Alzheimer's and paralysis agitans, for instance. Can you hand over your coffee? If you think that you cannot hand over coffee, re-evaluate. It's only a wise experience to understand what it seems like to measure your life on your fuel. Safely remove coffee and caffeine from your system and see how you handle the high energy! It'll not kill you. Sometimes we hold close our vices so severely that we convince ourselves that life would be miserable without them. For the first few days, I admit, I miss the smell and taste of my coffee, especially the first day of the day but these feelings soon disappear, and that I have gained a replacement appreciation for herb tea and roots. Remember that we control our habits. Getting something may be a big lesson in breaking addictions and forming new habits. You'll convince yourself that you directly are managing, and you'll choose and stick with it. This is often something you'll know.

[svetlanabelikova]

Journaling IV

content warning:

bodily functions 

weight talk

time for another update:

i had my super fun X-ray on monday (9.29.19) morning. it was weird. i stood on a weird platform, in a surgical gown, and had 3 dudes stand around and tell me weird ways to twist and bend my body so they could take the best pictures of my insides all while having to drink poison that had the consistency of chalk dissolved in white glue. it was wild. the assistant was nice. he stood around with me and we just talked a bit. he was awkward,,, i was awkward. it was both better and worse than the CT scan i got last year. worse by which, back then i just laid on a rolling table with a warm blanket on me and a pillow under my knees. i was alone in the room and the technician just told me what to do through a speaker system from the next room, or the machine talked to me through a little robot face on a screen whereas this was 3 strange men and i felt naked in that stupid surgical gown. i was glad i decided to wear leggings and they let me keep them on but still. i had to take off my bra (even tho it is a sports bra but whatever) and all my earrings, which i never take out, as well as the ring i’ve worn every second for the last like, 10 years. this ring means a lot to me in what it is, what it represents and what it carries so that didn’t help.  it was better in that i didn’t have to drink as much poison as last time. for the CT scan, they were looking more at my lower GI, so i had to drink 2 bottles worth of barium: 1 bottle 1 hour before my appointment, half a bottle half an hour before and the last half i had to chug right before i went in. they were trying to map out my entire GI system whereas this was watching my upper GI work in real time.  first i had to stand up and drink the thick barium mixture (and also basically medical grade Alke-seltzer to blow me up like a balloon animal-- and then i was told i had to just old my burps in or it would ruin the pictures so that was cool), which as i mentioned, was not great. i was never the kid in class that ate glue (i liked to pour it on my hand, let it dry then pretend to be shedding like a snake), but if i had to liken it to something, that would be it. it was so heavy in the cup, it was wild. but it wasn’t smooth like glue, it was gritty. there was no flavor to it other than you know, chemical-y. i had to gather a mouthful, fill my cheeks like a little gerbil, wait for the machine to get into place and the doctor to trigger the program by which he would say “ok swallow” and the machine would track the barium down my esophagus. i did that a couple times then they casually said “ok, turn around and look at the table behind you.” which i did, it was a lovely table. “now we are going to tip the table back and you will be laying on your stomach.” excuseth me?! they wouldn’t even let me get off the table while it tranformer-transformed into a bed, no i just had to ride that shit like it was a rodeo. it was upsetting, my vertigo went absolutely batshit and the fact that by this point, my stomach went ‘well hang on.... you haven’t given me anything in about 11 hours so i thought this was food but this is poison anD YOU ARE ON A ROLLERCOASTER?!’ and decided the time to rebel was at hand. i was so close to barfing, im not kidding. the assistant was handing me a pillow and he could see my face lose color as i nervously began to giggle and he grabbed the little barf bag. i was so close to forcing this assistant to have to re-sterilize this stupid table/bed but i kept it together and also i had literally nothing in my stomach other than poison so that was probably helpful. the last thing i ate was a couple spoonfuls of tuna out of the can and a hardboiled egg at like 2pm the day before.  next we come to a super fun moment which i will gloss over because it was the crowning weird moment of the day: while laying on my stomach and drinking from a cup of poison, i had to swallow a mouthful of said poison, hold my breath and then bare down, so they could look for hernias. i wish not to elaborate further i just would like to thank my personal goddess that i didn’t let anything slip out either end. after that, i was pretty much done. the bed *transformer noise* returned to an upright platform and the machine coffin lid was removed so i could get down. i all but ran back to the dressing room and got my jewelry and clothing back on. we had to drive home an hour and the entire time i was covered in a sheen of cold sweats, gripping my barf bag, but was fine. later than night i was less so. yesterday (10.2.19) i met again with rupinder. she went over all 4 tests i went through over the past 2 weeks: the blood tests- were all good. my vitamins levels are great, my iron is good, my blood sugars wonderful. the only things of note were as i mentioned, my b1 levels were high but it was b/c i take biotin vitamins and my white blood cells count was flagged as high, but i let her know that i happened to get sick with a headcold literally the day after i got my blood drawn. also my blood sugars showed that i am not pre-diabetic which is great. i am not even pre- pre-diabetic yet, just on the cusp which is great for someone with a family history and who has never really bothered with watching my sugar intake. urine & stool test- good. my body is absorbing vitamins and minerals just the way that it should and also i am not on any drugs *ok hand emoji* floroscopy test-  i have a very small hital hernia, but it is so small and has been of so little impact i a) have not noticed it at all and b) it has basically done no real damage yet. everything else looks great. i have some indication of acid reflux but it is either old scars or so mild it is happening and i don’t notice it. i do have to share my favorite line from the doctor’s notes from the floroscopy though:  "The visualized stomach, duodenum and proximal small bowel are grossly unremarkable." that is possibly the meanest thing a doctor has ever said to me: grossly unremarkable. he couldn’t have just said ‘normal’ or ‘nothing of note’, no he had to come from my whole life about my disgustingly boring bowels.  anyways, we talked about that for a bit and then did some math. during our first meeting she said she wanted me to lose 50lbs before surgery, but she recalculated along with all the new information from all these tests and gave me a new weight goal. rather than getting to 300lbs even , she has raise it to 315lbs. so from the original 50 lbs i needed to lose, now it is only like 29lbs. she cut it nearly in half and also told me that i will not have to wait the full 7 months originally required by the program. basically, i have to just hit 315 lbs, make an appointment with her, she will bring in the surgeon once she verifies my weight and then we will set the surgery 6 weeks from that date. 6 weeks. that’s it. it has been 2 weeks since i first met her and i’ve already lost like 5 or 6lbs. i could be at my goal weight before or by thanksgiving and be set up to have surgery at the beginning of 2020. i know that is still 2 and 1/2 months out but, that is so much sooner than the original 7 months.  i have a few more things i have to do before then of course. i need to get an EKG to check my heart, make sure there is not arrhythmia or anything, and i need another x-ray of my chest and lungs, mostly to check in on that spot on my lung (which i saw on the floroscopy x-rays. it is actually pretty dark and right near my heart,,,, which is worrying and my anxiety will definitely remember this) in case i need a biopsy or anything. also i have to see a dietitian and a therapist. but i can take those hurdles a little at a time rather than speedrunning it like i have been for the last 2 weeks.  just need to keep on course, keep the faith that this is the right choice even if it is the hardest thing i’ve ever done in my fucking life, and keep my eyes on the prize.              

[mmjjbbaannkkss]

2019 August 12-18 Resistance and Growth

"Get to a point where thoughts are like thieves coming in an empty house...there's nothing to take" - Sam Harris

UPDATE

Phone died Thursday. Will be back Mon or Thu. AC too arid, had to open windows. Off days I’m going to carb cycle the dumb keto, between carbs and aminos one day, and bacon the next, making sure the carbs+aminos are the day before going back as a zero-fat cleanse day, maybe a wheatgrass smoothie, prolly not. Ice pack on my eyes, excellent idea. 

About to post this, @225lbs, that’s at least 10lbs down in 1 week, cardio has been uphill 5min, flat 5min, but go easy on yourself, 1min/1min, I was made for hiking 1hr at a time, know your ability. Also that’s from 10 days of (30min cardio, long sessions, +30min cardio again) and I’m taking a week off right now. Eating natural antihistamines and resetting. Resuming Thursday, but’ll post Sunday something rando. 

NOTES/TIPS

Supermarket parking lot, a black guy the size of a Chicago bear, he’s having a conversation with his wife and cart-bound toddler, and every few words he says ‘hey a white guy’ like 3-4 times, like I’m in the wild --- it still snows, the sun also sets --- some recover easily from high volume, to work quick between melts, or hike before snow -- lineages differ, if forced to do low rep PRs every day, the stress and the hypertrophy would tear at my tendons; 

Not a decathlon, maintenance, it depends on how you do conditioning >> if you’re in a cut, carbs have to be maintenance and very regular, like feeding a dog, same times every day, if you’re in a bulk the training sessions have to be scheduled too >> Dave Palumbo video just said as much in saying carbs and insulin >> glucose control > need water that dry/shred people, low af BMI ppl, just might not have at the moment or can’t carb up the day of the show.

Get bitchy after a workout, the human body is designed to digest carbs from plants, grains, some water-dissolvable fibers, etc, so that we can eat small doses and metabolize efficiently, and that’s a modern truth, even if you’re binging white sugar, and when blood-sugar drops the body goes into hypoglycemia (hypo = low, hyper = high), even if you’re big, even if you’re exercising, a lifestyle pattern, meal patterns, exercise patterns, or you get bitchy, and that’s a good thing. Pain is informative. Emotion is natural. The evolutionary response; and then apathy/lethargy takes exercise out of the equation. My rice cooker has an egg basket, steam makes peeling easy, I hate rice and eggs, but the rice is low fat during scheduled carb intakes, and one eggwhite makes a healthy appetizer, and egg yolk has essential nutrients. 

The body doesn’t want to be 0%BMI, and when you’re training, it doesn’t want to reduce BMI. So there’s trapped on an island ketosis, which will bring on literal insanity, or delicate CICO adjustment, and being full (satiated) but digesting the fiber before a workout to not be literally bloated, and digesting the fat before a workout so that you don’t figuratively need an oil change. A lot of instagram posts say eat fruit before a workout, but that might be their between full meals snack, and usually don’t have heavy fruits like mangoes or bananas, but more light fruits like oranges and strawberries, before a workout. And the level of acidity before a workout is also personal. 

Hypertrophy is growth of muscle, hypoplasia is new muscle at the cellular level. Quitting a steady exercise lifestyle, will see dramatic muscle loss, this could be why DOMS doesn’t occur with experience, and taking vacation will hurt the first day back at the gym, because the nervous system resets and the connections have to be rebuilt for task/work, so things like cardio, yoga, taiji, etc active recovery should actually be an active lifestyle, and then empty calories add-up when less muscle and less active. 

I’m going to eat more antihistamines my eyes and nose are itchy, UPDATE honey-infused vinaigrette, tomatoes, and spinach help, ancestors didn’t eat as many eggs as me, and would like more grits. 

TRAINING REPORT / STATS

#xvi7 Slow Push  /lb

Treadmill warmup 5^|5_ 30min >> Shldr Press 3+x 6 /10305070 >> DB front Raise 4x 6 /2*10,10,10,10 >> DB Lat Raise 4x 6 / 5,10,1010 >> BB Flat Bench incl1 4x 6 /100100w100w100 >> Incl (low) DB Bench 3x 8 /35,45,55 >> Pec Deck 3x 8 /100,115,130145,160- >> Dips 3x 8 /888-8- >> Pullover 4x 8 /35355050 >> Triceps 3*10 /25,35,50,65- >> Twist 3*10/null, lat stretch >> Planks? Called it: 3x 15ct >> Treadmill 30 min 5_/5^

Carrots? Sitw:stand-db-horiz-row; ok that's the indoor winter wicking one, not the humidity August one; wanting to ice my head/face, Inferi & Flub, maybe Job For A Cowboy, would be an epic show. So funning hungry, headed shower, home == before dips, didn’t do any pull/back warmups, tweaked back jumping around like an idiot or just exhausting myself, and the knot wouldn’t pop until mid standing-pullovers, with back to rig, nerves tangled-up with the lat-spread toward/into ribs, can’t CICO sunday, maybe to skip a meal Saturday night in lieu of socialising, idk, update, slow reps kinda proud of pec decks and incline bench, am hoping 12x150lbs molasses is more impressive than 200x2 kipped - have to stop doing front raises at wall, it’s waves the center of balance too forward makes jenky back bullshit, maybe emptyhanded arm raises (read: taiji that I always put off) will train the bicep-lats trail. Carrots nuked (way less than the potato time) with vanilla yogurt was meh, pre workout snack.

#8 FST Pull  /

Treadmill warmup 30min 5^/5_ >> Wide Lat Pulldown 7x7/60,7575,9090,105 >> Palms-In Pulldown 7x7/100100,12012121212 >> DB 1-Arm Row 7x7/LR15?202530355065 >> Straight Pulldown 7x7/20253035505050 >> Row 7x7/6075757590,105,120 >> DB Shrug 7x7/2*60606060606060 >> Delt Deck Fly 7x7/10152025:252530- >> Supine Straight Curl 7x7/203040404040404040 >> Preacher Curl 7x7/20304050658095 >> Preacher Hammer 7x7/30303030304040- >> Treadmill cooldown null

Meh, prolly the worst session ever. 

#xvi9 Slow Legs  

Treadmill 30min 5_/5^ >> Side Bends 3x 8/254545 >> Plate Squat 3x 6 000 >> Hack Squat 3x 6/202020 >> Deadlift+Curl 3x 8 / 203040 >> Horizon Press 3x 8/30507090,1113 >> LR Leg Ext 3x 8/10305070 >> LR Leg Curl 3x 8/7090110130 >> LR Heel Raise 3x 8. 30507090 >> Tri-bar Crunch 3x 1050607085- >> Chair Shoulder ropes 4*25/60/252525-25- >> Incl treadmill 5_/5^

Tried leg day for DOMS, hamstrings only stiff, hiking everyday cutting, every meal not snack, session break for noise situation, breaks b/w stations supersets b/c set splits are rare; side bends same, crowded plate squats, hack squats glutes up quads activate, deadlifts on target, curls better but harder on core, on display charged hamstrings -- omg leg extensions and curls having progress super psyched about, weeks after quad to knee sprain...to be curt, an ego setback, eyes dry from staring or tired, schadenfreude for dude’s throwing shit, not just dropping, idk sees old shit me lift everyday a beleaguered scandinavian volume trainer, low bp and slow, as got to be in a way -- in my defense, coffee salt cardio, blue veins and pale looks zombie to southerners, and’ve only been gymming, what 4 years, tho wish it was 14 years, 180 2000, almost 240 2015, 225 Aug 2019 cardio and oxygen efficiency optimal --  besides the point, burnt abs = stamina abs, so did slow cable downs for size then fast reps - after cardio eyes fried. 

#10 FST Push  /lbs

Treadmill 30min 5_/5^

DB Flat Bench 7*7/60606060,100100100

Rehang plates, in a commercial, commercial ends, phone bricks. Good exercise set too.

[sheislegend23]

10.21.18

Here it goes:: the topic today is PCOS.

PCOS means polycystic ovarian syndrome. There are a lot of things that you can google, but I am going to be talking about my own personal journey and what that means for me now in this moment in time. There’s TMI in here, but reading personal accounts has helped me broaden my mind and knowledge and has certainly helped me realize I’m not alone in my struggles.

First thing you should know is that while some little girls plan their weddings, I planned baby names. I used to say I wanted as many children as I could, and I have ALWAYS wanted to have a family of my own.

Body wise, I was healthy and “normal” until I was about 8 or 9 years old. I slowly gained weight and got “husky”, but nothing to be terribly concerned about. By 12, I was obese. I didn’t get my first period until I was 16, which some say is just being a late bloomer, but in my case was probably the beginning effects of PCOS.

At 11, my parents divorced and my dad and I went off our own way. We had a huuuge learning curve, and I remember eating spaghetti with sauce (and when that ran out - butter) for weeks at a time until he got paid again because spaghetti was cheap, cheap, cheap. We moved again and again and readjusted our lifestyle over and over so we would never have to go back to those rough days, but that period of time was when I went from “husky” to obese.

I hated my body and didn’t understand why eating what was presented as “healthy” as a child wasn’t helping me. At 14, I started dance classes and later tried out and made my high school drill teams. All the dancing and cardio didn’t help my waistline. I didn’t let anyone’s mean comments or my fat body stop me from dancing, which inspired some and repulsed others. I didn’t have regular periods which I chalked up to being so active and fat at the same time. A stressed out body could possibly decide that’s not the best place for a baby to grow, right??

Enter adulthood. Here’s a few things I learned::

1.) Bread is NOT healthy. My mother drilled in my head that bread is good for you and could be a good anytime healthy snack as well as something you HAD to eat at least twice a day. Not sure where she got that information because, especially with my body type, starch and carbs are the enemy. I didn’t learn this til much later, I will alert when it is time.

2.) I have ADD. Specifically, ring of fire ADD (NOT ADHD) which helped explain why I am patient and extremely slow to anger, but once I’m angry, just back off and let me blow off my steam to cool down again. I thought it was because I’m southern. This diagnosis was at the age of 19.

3.) I have PCOS. The doctor I went to perhaps had good intentions, but conveyed very incorrect information and can give you, the reader, a glimpse at how one obese patient was given said info.

At my first OBGYN appointment, she told me that with 95% accuracy, I definitely had PCOS. She glanced over what that meant, but then came to the part she grilled me on - my weight. My weight was most likely causing the PCOS so if I could just stop eating bad and go exercise, I could probably reverse the effects and have a normal body again. I explained that I had danced for years and hadn’t eaten that terribly since I had had to at 12, and she said that I simply must not have been exercising hard enough and eating too much. Insert a HUUUGE eye roll here because as any drill team alum know, it’s plenty.

The real troubling thing came next when I talked about my want for a family in the future. She looked at me very gravely and said that my chances for conception are extremely slim, and if I ever did successfully conceive and didn’t miscarry, I would need to quit my job and stay at home and never be stressed for the whole 9 months because I would be at a very high risk of miscarriage up until the baby came out. Also, “don’t get attached to the first one” because I will likely lose it. Reminder:: A REAL DOCTOR TOLD ME THIS. AT 19. For real.

Her solution: birth control. I was very weary of all types of female birth control because there are a lot of side effects. I took them for a few months, and then stopped.

I don’t hold any ill will towards her, but I later found out that that information is VERY incorrect. My journey however has included believing that lie until 2 years ago.

Shortly after that, I found out I had ADD, so I started taking adderall. I took a high dose because my fat body would absorb it, and when friends or whoever would ask my dosage and I’d tell them, they were horrified and assured me that my heart would definitely explode and they were surprised I wasn’t already dead as a door nail. That’s the problem with opinions, it’s all very personally based. They weren’t thinking of MY fat body at all.

The adderall worked wonders. I could concentrate! I could multitask! I stopped making so many dang piles! Mostly, I stopped eating. I ate regular or smaller meals at “regular” times in the day and if I skipped something, it didn’t matter because I was definitely not hungry.

On weekends, sometimes I would want a break. So I wouldn’t take my adderall and I’d sleep and sleep and sleep and then binge eat and go right back to sleep. My roommates were worried but I felt so healed and cleansed with all that sleep, I wasn’t worried at all.

I grew skinnier and skinnier, and my PCOS symptoms had began to disappear. I was having regular periods, I wasn’t growing hair in weird places, and BY GOD, I could cross my legs like a proper southern belle. Everyone was soooo proud. I was proud, my family, my friends. Everyone from high school was wondering, “how did she do it?!?” My self confidence grew, and for the first time in my life, I started dating.

One day, I met the man who would be my husband. We both expressed our want of children which raised a big ole question:: how could I treat my ADD without adderall? I was scared because I knew what being on adderall is like and what not being on it is like, and my identity as an adult had revolved around and relied on it. If I stopped the medicine, I would get fat again! I was just about to get into single digit clothing, I was beautiful, and yet, I knew I had to stop.

I couldn’t think of any good time to stop, so I just did cold turkey. I was ridiculously tired for 2 weeks, and then I started to feel normal again. Sure enough, I started gaining weight again, eating a lot more, etc etc. I had my soulmate, so it didn’t seem like such a bad deal, but it was depressing nonetheless. The cringes on faces when they saw my weight regain was painful, talks about “what happened to you???” stung, and I felt so ashamed.

Insert that number 1 revelation, bread is BAD. Bad, bad, bad. I learned all about processed foods, and tried the keto diet. It worked and I lost a little bit of weight, but it was unrealistic for long term. Once you’re off keto, all that weight springs back on you, and so it did.

After our marriage, I was off insurance for some time and when I got back on, I was put on metformin for my A1C. My day to day numbers are fine, but my A1C number was ridiculously high. It’s under control now, and we are looking to the next step.

I have researched PCOS and here is the real kicker:: it makes it hard to lose weight but if you could just lose weight, it would get the symptoms under control. However, one of the symptoms is that it is hard to lose weight. It’s a great big freakin’ circle. I’m not talking “stop eating bread” hard. I’m talking “don’t even think about looking at carbs” hard. The only thing that helped was dropping all carbs and then I got yelled at for a non balanced diet. IT’S FRUSTRATING!

Here’s my plan:: cut out things in baby steps.

Step 1:: no more drinking my sugar intake. Proud to say, I have completed this step. This is one southern woman who drinks UNsweet iced tea and water only, please.

Step 2:: no more fast food. Still working on this one, it’s so easy and yummy but I have cut it to once a week.

Step 3:: no more junk food.

Step 4:: healthy meals only.

The scary thing is that the help for conception is all very expensive. The words of my previous OBGYN keep swimming through my head. I struggle to force myself to go to baby showers because while I am thrilled for my friend and their new little one, I am envious and that is an ugly color. Every time I see a child that’s been abused, it makes me tear up because I would love to adopt a child and love them to pieces. Adoption isn’t an option for us sadly due to things out of our hands (still looking into this, but the process of adoption of American children is hard and expensive), but the thought still hurts.

God wouldn’t put such a strong desire for having children in my heart if I wasn’t meant to have any, right?

I hope that anyone who got this far will remember this:: a lot of this struggle was silent as it was happening. I certainly know that if given the choice, I would have the correct BMI for my height. I didn’t choose this struggle, and unkind words make it harder to shoulder. As the Beatles say, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Thanks to those who have supported me and let me vent to them about these struggles, and for those who have been with me as I navigate my way into the future.

[abbrederisfitness]

Healthy is the New Skinny (Female Empowerment in a Perfection-Obsessed Society)

Hello and welcome to my blog! I am a health and fitness freak, so if you’re into that as well or want to try and live a healthy life I hope that my blog will help you with some tips and inspiration. Since this is my first post I am just going to give you an overview of things I find important to keep in mind when society is trying to push you to be a certain shape, some important tips to keep in mind for a happy and healthy life, and lastly a small workout challenge, which is great for beginners.

Women are ingrained with the belief that smaller is better and so many people’s health has suffered from this logic. The modeling and beauty industry as well as media advertising set “standards” of the ideal skinny body and that you need to look like the size 0 models to be happy. The beauty and model industry exploits our emotions and beliefs to help sell their products or gain publicity. It is important not to strive to look like someone else. Having a goal or mindset to look like someone else is impossible and unhealthy. Everyone was born different sizes and shapes, have different bone structure, metabolisms, and even genetics. It is always important to have a role model or someone you look up to for motivation but it is even more important to remember you are your own person. Everyone has insecurities and body image issues, but there is a difference from being unhealthy skinny and being a healthy and happy you.

I encourage all women to choose health, self-love, and to pursue personal dreams over how society thinks women should look. This all starts with having a lifestyle that works best for each individual and surrounding yourself with a good community who supports you. I’m not saying being a size 0 who powerlifts and has little to no body fat is a bad thing, but again each individual is different and it’s a good thing to have different goals than someone else. The journey to having a healthy life can be intimidating and hard to start. The following tips will show you that you don’t need to starve yourself, make yourself miserable, or ignore what your body tells you in order to live a healthy happy life. If you’re a beginner or currently struggling to live that healthy lifestyle, try and add in some of these tips to your daily workout and help you work towards your personal goals.

Five tips I live by to be healthy and happy:

ONE~ Don’t skip meals or starve yourself thinking that it will help you lose weight and get to your goal. We all need fuel in our bodies for fuel and nutrition. When you skip meals your energy goes down, which can cause depression and binge eating later in the day and gaining calories that you may have wanted to skip in the first place. Skipping meals tend to leave people to crave foods higher in fats and sugars since your body thinks it is in starvation and will crave these foods. Doing this can cause you to take in more calories per volume to make sure you have the energy you need to be active. If you skip meals this can also affect your metabolism dangerously by causing weight gain, delayed insulin response and elevated fasting which are all factors leading to diabetes. Overall, never skip a meal, if you do want to cut down on calories the healthy way is to do portion control. I recommend 3 meals a day (remember NO skipping) with a snack in between. Make sure your meals are CLEAN, full of protein, fruit, vegetables, whole grains and good fats. This will make you feel more energized and happy.

TWO~ You do NOT need to cut out everything you enjoy to stay healthy. It is ok to have cheat days or a special treat every so often. I live by the 80/20 rule; eating mainly healthy all natural and non-artificial foods full of your daily necessary nutrients makes it ok to treat yourself when needed. Having the habit of cutting back on snacks everyday and eating healthy will help you in the long run, making it more enjoyable when you do decide to “ball out” on your cravings. Completely cutting out what you love can strain your happiness which is something essential to a healthy lifestyle. I promise once you do start to eat cleaner you will feel a lot more energized and generally happier.

THREE~ DO NOT let people make you feel guilty for how you want to live your life. If you want to do a HEALHTY diet and workout every day don’t let someone make you feel bad or get in the way for working towards what your goal is. We all have friends who don’t live healthy lifestyles who won’t understand why you do what you do but that’s fine. Let them live their life you yours, just remember your goal is for you and no one else. Make sure YOU are happy because that is all that matters.

FOUR~ The golden rule; do not forget to stretch, I can’t stress this enough. Its very important to stretch after every workout (I even do it before as well sometimes) and it isn’t something that you can “overdue”. Many people underestimate how important it is to stretch, but it is key to a healthy exercise routine. Skipping stretching and continuing to do strenuous workouts day after day will increase your risk of injury. Stretching allows your muscles to work more effectively and also to cut down on being sore the next day and using that as an excuse to not workout the next day. I know that stretching has become one of my best habits and definitely helps me become more flexible week after week. I have been going to the chiropractor for about 10 years now for my being in constant back and hip pain. After doing strengthening workouts to help those muscles with a mix of stretching those areas about 2 times a day I have cut down my visits to my chiropractor immensely.

FIVE~ My last and final tip is to listen to your body. This is especially important for those of you who are just starting your fitness journey. When I first started, I was on a strict diet of eating leans meats and veggies and cutting down a lot on my carb intake. I started to hate this diet so much that I started to get deprived and unhappy. I now listen to my body and incorporate my cravings while eating clean like I mentioned earlier with the 80/20 rule. I stopped meal prepping because after the third day of eating chicken its dry and boring to eat. Now I keep plenty of fresh vegetables, fruit, and meat so when the day comes I can make whatever my body is craving that day. Once I changed and listened to my body my journey to being healthy became so much easier and enjoyable. Working out is only the start but keeping a clean diet that works with your body and needs is key.

Did you know it takes only 21 days to form a new habit? Yes, it is true and that is why I encourage you all to join in on this easy challenge. All you have to do is dedicate 30 minutes every day to getting your bodies in motion for 21 days. You can do anything you want for 30 minutes, and go even longer is you want, the more the merrier right?  If you need to get back in shape or maybe you need to get moving for the first time in a long time, join me. This challenge is inspired by Katie Willcox, who was a plus size model and is someone very inspiring to many people. Today I started my first day of the challenge.

Here is what you need to do:

1.) Follow my Instagram page @dabbrederisfitness where you can see my daily challenge post and updates on my progress as well as having a chance to be featured on my page. This is a great way to help stay motivated and hopefully help others as well or pass on this challenge.

2.) Start Day is this Wednesday, May 23, 2018.

3.) Workout for 30 minutes each day, or like I said earlier, more if you are feeling motivated to do so. The goal is the break a sweat each day doing something you enjoy, cardio, HIIT workout, core, or strength workouts.

4.) Take photos and or IG videos of your workouts, take selfies, or share how you are feeling about the challenge and tag @dabbrederisfitness and @healthyisthenewskinny on your Instagram and #21daychallenge to have a chance at being featured on my page.

5.) Invite your followers, friends, and family to join you. This is what having a community to support you is all about, having others to workout with you and see you succeed is a plus.

It’s that easy to start a healthy life, 21 days, 30 minutes a day. No excuses to not squeeze in that little amount of time everyday. I promise once it becomes a habit you will feel so rewarded and so much better about yourself mentally and physically. Remember the goal is to create a new healthy habit and join a community of people working towards the same kind of goals as you are. We need to remember to empower others and block out the negativity. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, I hope you take away something beneficial!