#that’s just a pretty fair career trade off in my opinion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shakethatsassyass · 2 years

Note

hi!! are u still active? i see the askbox is opeen sooo.

could i request some relationship of older!GOM like who's the marrying type, what do they like, who sleeps around most, who finds dating bother some etc etc!!! Maybe their ideal types in a s/o as well??? Thank u so muuuuch im so excited if everaaa

Hi! This request is really interesting and here are my dating headcanons for the GOM. You can request another one for their ideal types if you’d like since this ended up quite long 😅

GOM Dating/Marriage Headcanons

a/n: unedited

KUROKO

Come on, obviously this guy is the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them.

But does he approach the people he likes? No

But it’s painfully obvious when he does fancy someone

His ears become red. Warning: fair chance of passing out

He does his best to be more assertive though, meticulously planning how to approach his crush

Very very thoughtful, remembers what you told him 128 days, 13 hours, 6 minutes ago about that video you were showing him

When he’s with someone, you better bet the relationship will last for years

Not that he’s boring like that or anything but Kuroko hates the mind games that come with modern dating

But Kuroko’s immensely loyal to some may argue, a fault, I think

Like s/o wants to swerve careers? Kuroko supports

Wants to start a small business? He’s supportive

Needs to rob a bank/hide a body? He has all the tools already......

I just imagine domestic fluff kuroko being the troll that he is. he purposefully hides in the corner to surprise you with a heart attack when you come back home

KISE

Kise has quite a fanbase, as we all know

Headcanoning is that a word that Kise gets scouted by a Japanese company and becomes an idol for a short while

Kise’s a jack-of-all-trades so I can definitely see him working in different fields and having multiple sources of income

Which means he’s probably met a lot of people along the way

So yes this boy dates casually a lot, mostly just for publicity, and the other party knows it usually. People just come up to him and ask him out.

He has to have MAD respect for the person to even consider seriously or sometimes casually dating them or making the first move, though. Like the person of his interest has to be VERY good at what they do and have banger character

Kise is, contrary to popular opinion, not shallow at all. Personality and a person’s passion/morals comes first. He knows the feeling of being ogled for your looks and how those feelings of infatuation are fleeting

BUT I’D BE LYING IF I DONT SAY THAT KISE 100% LOVES THE CHASE. He’s a fast learner so I bet he also gets bored pretty quickly

If you wanna date Kise, you better not be the jealous type and not be controlling. Someone who can keep him on his toes.

Fun, goofy, sometimes intimidating lover

AOMINE

Somehow I see him settling down earlier than the others.

But before that he sleeps around a lot.

He likes hot women, that’s canon, but like he doesn’t date seriously during his early 20s, just casually.

Many fics present Aomine as this suave guy who can pick up any person he likes but I honestly doubt that’s the case

Definitely gets with Momoi at least once, whether they cross the line between bffs and lovers officially is up to Aomine sadly (see Replace novel)

Thankfully, he’s as graceful on the court as he’s not on the dating scene

So many people approach him on their own, often as fans who, if they ask appropriately enough, gets to go home with him

Boy just wants to have fun

But he never love bombs, and is in no way a manipulative lover

Respects your boundaries and asks for consent 1000%

When he falls in love tho, he falls hard

He might start off with seemingly cold feet and is indifferent but that’s just him actually thinking how to properly take the relationship to the next level considering all his hang-ups

Aomine’s insanely loyal and a committed relationship with him is something that even becomes sweeter over time.

Once he’s committed, he’s all in: he thinks of marriage, kids, the works

Aomine may look tough but he’s all soft for his s/o

MIDORIMA

He’s a late bloomer in the dating department

Midorima just thinks it’s bothersome. He’s busy with basketball and medical school already. He just doesn’t see what the fuss is about

But can you imagine if he just falls in love with an incompatible sun sign???

Like an Aquarius or a Libra (Murasakibara’s one)… or god forbid an Aries!!

And he just freaks out and questions his beliefs and does research on the rest of his/their birth chart. Lmao

Takao secretly made Midorima a dating app account and his profile gets plenty of traffic

Midorima knows nothing about this and refuses downright every time Takao tries to set him up with someone

Doesn’t do casual. Period.

You have to be very patient with him he’s the densest out of all of them you might as well just spell it out for him for Midorima to get the hint that you’re flirting

Midorima’s romantic relationships can only ever happen organically so you can’t 1. Force it. 2. Expect him to seek out relations for its own sake

Will either have to be set up by a friend on a date OR

Have some Kdrama destiny shit to occur for romance to get through his head (Doctor Midorima with patient reader AU???

Needless to say Midorima’s a faithful partner in all senses of the word. He’s consistent, hard-working, and responsible. He’s the kind of person who’d literally grow old with his lover and wake up next to them each morning.

MURASAKIBARA

Another one who doesn’t like initiate dates

No formal conversations of labels or anything like that

He may be a man child at times but no one is more loyal than this giant

You wanna date him? You better know how to cook. Or at the very least love food

He will not ask you out, well not directly anyway

Doesn’t take breakups well

He will sulk for days, someone from the GOM or Himuro or his siblings has to drag him out of the room so he could take a shower

One day you’ll just notice him hanging out with you

Anyway I hc that he gets the most jealous out of everyone in GOM. Like he gets too little attention and you’ll find him pouting like a kid

Mura also really easily distracted, and might even come across quite cold

It’s only because he rarely sweats the small stuff

So sometimes you’d be upset and he wouldn’t notice

WARNING: this could go on for days so unless you tell it to him straight up he won’t know you’re even upset

Buuuuut gets the hang of it after several months

He’s attentive when he needs to be, especially when it comes to his partner’s needs

So fights would rarely occur, unless it’s about his habits

His ideal s/o is a mom. Sorta

There I said it

TL;DR Murasakibara baby in the streets daddy in the sheets

But tbh any established relationship with him would be quite stable, his life would simply revolve around his s/o, food, and basketball

AKASHI

Akashi’s future is all planned out.

Being the only child in his political and influential family, marriage and family’s simply part of his duty. I read somewhere that his parents were most likely in an arranged marriage and that it’s not far off that he would be too, as Masaomi expects, when the time comes.

He sees the appeal in dating around but eventually decides against it because it’s seen as taboo (his family seems to be traditional), though he thinks about it from time to time when he feels lonely :-(

Lots of women (and men) fawn themselves over Akashi, he’s used to it, while he appreciates the support, emotional connection and bond is an important factor for the redhair

So he’s either seeing someone properly or not talking to anybody at all. Akashi’s forward like that.

He’s very discreet about his dating life. Like one day he just announces to the Miracles that he’s engaged to the love of his life and like??? No one knows he was even seeing someone?? Maybe just midorima and kuroko. Maybe Momoi (and by association Aomine)

Akashi haaaas relationships… they’re just very selective and won’t last long if he can’t see marrying them

Eventually marries for love. I just can’t see him tagging along an arranged marriage (like his father expects) with someone if he doesn’t like them

Yes boy do clear that karmic ancestral baggage

If you want to date Akashi, you should probably not be afraid to take the lead too sometimes. He already juggles plenty of responsibilities outside the home, he appreciates if he can just let go of the reins when he’s with his s/o

Bonus bonus if you can hold an intellectual conversation with him. He also takes a keen interest in your hobbies

Akashi’s a generous, kind, faithful, and attentive lover. You’re provided for for life.

#kuroko no basket #knb #knb headcanons #generation of miracles #kiseki no sedai #kuroko #kuroko tetsuya #kise #kise ryouta #midorima #midorima shintaro #aomine #aomine daiki #murasakibara #murasakibara atsushi #akashi #akashi seijuurou #knb imagines

402 notes · View notes

phoenix-manga · 3 years

Note

lol since snom evolves with friendship at night, imagine if vil has a late night interview on tv and he brings snom, the interviewer host person kinda picks on snom vil being unhappy calls them out, and snom feeling how much vil loves her evolves into frosmoth on live tv

I wanted to make a one shot out of this hehehe read below...

Vil has had his fair share of interviews, he is well aware of the nature of some TV hosts. Some are amusing and pleasant while there are those who... want to point out and make fun of concepts they think don't make sense.

This one host was getting on his nerves, he was scheduled to bring his precious Snom (He named it Nieva) to the show for some inquiries.

Now you would think that the host would know how much he loves the little bug. So do his fans, but it seems that the host has some... opinions about his choice of picking Snom.

"Pray tell, what led you to pick this gelatin pincushion as a familiar, Mr. Schoenheit? Frankly, we thought you'd get something that's more on par with your handsome face! Did the school run out of good ones or what?"

The bastard grinned as if he told a joke, even if he did Vil didn't find it very amusing. Snom just innocently wriggles on his lap, occasionally nibbling on his knuckles a bit which felt cold but nice.

It was if she was trying to calm him down, maybe she was. Nieva was such a sweetheart. If only that host could see it too.

"Actually, I think my sweet little Nieva is beautiful in her own way. If you take a look at the magicam, you'd find that there are a lot of people who think she's pretty."

He holds Snom close to his chest as the little bug's beady eyes stare at the camera. The audience collectively "awws" at the sight.

He was hoping this would get the host to back off picking on Nieva. But apparently not, for this host is a stubborn, rotten potato.

"It's... something... I just don't think that the school did the appropriate necessities to give students something worthy of their image, yah know? I mean if it were me I'd rather have anything but a weak, little worm-"

Vil glares at the host while maintaining his signature smile, causing the man to freeze up and cut off his sentence.

He's not going to tolerate any disrespect to his familiar.

"With all due respect, it matters not what you think would suit my image. I myself am proud to show off my familiar and I wouldn't trade her for anything else... its as if you're implying that I'm some type of person who just adopts an animal for the sake of aesthetic and if they no longer suit me, I throw them away? Am I really such a villain to you?"

The host stammers and realized that if he doesn't answer correctly, what he said previously could be clipped and become headlines to ruin his career.

"A-Ah I apologize, slip of the tongue! I never meant that at all, Mr. Schoenheit!"

Vil smirked as he pressed his cheek against Nieva's cold body.

"It matters not to me if they see Nieva as weak or small. She gives me such joy and that's the sentiment that all pet lovers share no?"

People agree with his statement and began murmuring amongst themselves how they can relate to that.

Just then, the Snom started to glow that everyone had to shield their eye, including Vil and the host.

Vil panicked and thought that his Snom was going to attack the host but then he remembered what Phoebe said when he got his Pokemon partner for the first time.

"Did you know that Snom evolves through friendship? If she can feel how much you care about her then she will become inspired enough to evolve for you!"

"(Could this be it?)"

that thought rang in his head as the light fades and in place of the Snom is a large white moth.

With dazzling eyes and such soft fur that almost looks like a winter coat. But most importantly, the translucent wings twinkle like freshly fallen snow.

This was Nieva?

The crowd can't help but gasp in awe when they saw such a beautiful moth.

"W-what just happened?!" The host was shocked at what transpired.

"The one in charge of giving me my familiar mentioned that Snoms can change forms permanently if it knows you love it enough... I didn't expect my feelings towards Nieva would touch her heart so..."

The host was too stunned to reply, so he was ushered backstage and the co-host had to take over. Thankfully they were much nicer than that potato who looked down on Nieva.

The interview was a success and Vil has gotten more followers after that clip of evolution when live.

He smirks at his ever-growing follower count as he strokes his Nieva, now a Frosmoth, as she curled up on his lap.

#ask #twst x pokemon #pokemon x twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit

214 notes · View notes

wendimydarling · 4 years

Note

Henry's characters as Greek/Roman Gods 😆

OKAY girl. I’m finally getting around to this. I did a lot of research as I’m not superly familiar with all of the greek gods and their stories, but I did a pretty good job I think, and I ran the list by @littlefreya and @agniavateira; they stan (for the most part)!

All of my info (including the quotes I will use) I pulled from this website, so if anything isn’t accurate, I’m sorry! Here we goooooooo!

Stephen Colley

Stephen Colley is Aristaeus, minor patron god of useful arts, such as gardening and hunting. I’m basing this off of who he was and his role to the family, NOT on the sudden acting career that was thrust upon him.

“In Greek mythology, Aristaeus was the god useful arts, such as bee-keeping and cheese-making, olive-growing, herding, and hunting. He was a rustic god, a god of the countryside and pastoral places.”

Aristaeus also would visit cities, see the problems, and find a solution, which is basically what Stephen did for the bitch he was in love with, to the detriment of his own heart.

Mikey

Mikey is Momus. the god of Mockery and Satire.

“Momus is typically depicted as a man lifting a mask from his face. In more modern art, he is depicted as a fool or king’s jester.

Greek tragedian Sophocles wrote a satyr play called Momus. Satyr plays were tragicomedies with choruses of satyrs. The plays were often full of drunkenness, sexuality, sight gags, and other forms of merriment.”

Mikey loves a good joke and to fool around. He didn’t take life seriously, he wanted to have fun.

Melot

Melot is Dinlas, god of chaos and hatred. Dinlas was abandoned by his mother and banished to the underworld where Hades discovered him and turned him into an agent of darkness, similarly to how Melot wasn’t as well received by his uncle as Tristan was, and so was taken in by Wictred and used for evil.

Hades gave Dinlas a job that seemed right and good, much how Melot thought that he was doing what was best for the kingdom. Both of them sought acceptance and love wherever they could find it, and for both of them it was ultimately their downfall.

Evan Marshall

Evan is the god Paean, physician to the Olympic gods. Paean treated everyone from Ares to Hades, he didn’t differentiate. This may seem like an obvious choice, but it goes a step further.

“The name “Paean” was also commonly used in a general sense to refer to anyone who could save people from evil or calamity.”

This is Evan. He was brought in by his brother to save their home from the evil that resided in that bunker, and he did what he had to, wishing to save not just his family but the family that lived there, regardless of what his brother thought. He didn’t differentiate, same as Paean.

Charles Brandon

Charles is Kratos, god of strength and power. I’m basing this off of the myths that include his lineage as the son of the Titans Pallas and Styx, which makes him a relative of the Olympian gods but not one of them directly.

“In this form, Kratos is seen as a companion of Zeus and the guardian of his throne. He is usually one of Zeus’ primary enforcers and is an extension of his will.”

This is Charles. Friend of the King and Enforcer of His Will, even when it means carrying out unnecessary vengeance, similarly to how Kratos was required to chain Prometheus to a rock to be tortured for all eternity after Prometheus stole fire for humans.

Clark Kent/Kal-El

Clark is Atlas, who was a Titan instead of a god. This might seem like an unusual choice, but hear me out. Atlas chose a side and lost, and because of it was forced to carry the weight of the heavens on his shoulders for the rest of his life. Clark too was forced to choose a side, and though he didn’t necessarily “lose”, he still had to carry the weight of that burden on his shoulders for the rest of his life.

“Atlas was known as being ‘stout-hearted,’ strong, resilient and only a little gullible”

Clark is all of those things. And when I say gullible, I more just mean that he’s so good, so innocent, people have been able to take advantage of him before.

Napoleon Solo

Napoleon is Hermes, god of trade, thieves, travelers, and border crossings, guide to the Underworld.

“Hermes was known to be quick and cunning and had the ability to freely move between the mortal and divine worlds.

In some myths Hermes is also depicted as a trickster where he would outwit the gods either for the good of humankind or for his own personal amusement and satisfaction.

Both Homer and Hesiod portrayed Hermes as the author of skilled or deceptive acts, and also as a benefactor of mortals.”

This depicts Napoleon to a T. He played both sides to his benefit, and often “went against the man” if it benefited the greater good or if it amused him.

Captain Syverson

Captain Syverson is Zeus, god of law, order, and justice.

“Hesiod described Zeus as a god who “brought peace in place of violence” and referred to him as the “lord of justice”.”

There are many different character traits of Zeus that Syverson embodies: hospitality, willingness to avenge wrong, keeper of oaths, and he struck terror in his enemies.

“According to “Work and Days” by Hesiod (line 59), Zeus was a carefree god who loved to laugh out loud. He was regarded as wise, fair, just, merciful, and prudent. He was also unpredictable – nobody was able to guess the decisions he would make.”

This also seems to me like Syverson. Although we don’t see him laugh much in the film, we do get a snippet of that smile when he greets Mahmoud.

“He is often described as a strong, imposing man with a regal body and long, often curly, hair. He usually had a short beard or scruff and carried his trusty thunderbolt at all times.”

Syverson is all of this except the long curly hair. His thunderbolt is the Beretta 92FS he’s always got tucked into his belt.

August Walker

August is Hades, god of the underworld.

“Hades was depicted as stern and unyielding, unmoved by prayer and sacrifice.

[He] had a cap or helmet that made its wearer invisible.

His wife was Persephone, Demeter’s only daughter, whom he kidnapped and made his queen.”

August’s mission is his manifesto. He is unyielding in that sense; he will do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal, unmoved by the opinions and pleading of others. He worked for the CIA and they had no idea of his true intent, which makes him pretty invisible, and he would absolutely kidnap a woman to make her his bride (Trapped, anyone????). Although I think he would make her fall in love with him first.

Walter Marshall

Walter is the Hypnos, the god of sleep. Again, seems like an unusual choice, but hear me out.

“Hypnos is said to be a calm and gentle god who helps mortal humans in their time of need.”

This is Walter. He is a gentle giant, who aids people when they need help the most. This is his job, this is his life. Hypnos lived in the underworld, in a cave that received no sunlight or moonlight. Walter lives his life in a similar darkness, his mind engulfed in the horrors of his job. Hypnos’s cave was surrounded by poppies and other plants that produce sleep, which explains why Walter always looks so tired. *cue laughing emoji*

Geralt of Rivia

I see Geralt as Heracles (Hercules). He did not choose the life he was given, but he used it for the good of people.

“Heracles was known for his extraordinary strength, courage and cleverness. When his brawn would not suffice, he would call upon his wits...”

Hercules also had his Twelve Labors, which I equate to Geralt running around slaying monsters. Hercules often acted impulsively, and though done out of love, it would get him into trouble. Geralt does this too, though he would never admit it. His love for Jaskier, Yen, and Ciri gets him into heaps of scraps and trouble, which he is then often forced to serve his way out of.

Thanks for this ask, @wondersofdreaming! Sorry it took me so long; it was a bit of a research project and I felt like I was in school again!

Fan Club: @littlefreya @sciapod @thiccgeralt @fucking-hell-cavill @brexrif @peakygroupie @viking-raider @constip8merm8 @daniig95 @elinalfrida @hell1129-blog @oddsnendsfanfics @agniavateira @dearlybelovedluke @sofiebstar @wanderinglunarnights @mary-ann84 @nuns-and-roses @luclittlepond @thekingstachemademedoit @iloveyouyen @lestersglitterglue @funnygirlthatgab @wondersofdreaming @yoursecretsmutblog @valkavill @kevia1000 @trippedmetaldetector @lifeofrileyp @captaingothgirl1996 @sasusakubae @princess-of-riviaa @vivodinson @paradisecitychild @stuckupstucky @speakerforthedead0-blog @aletheladyinred @madbaddic7ed @magdelen69 @emelinelovesjc @msblkfire84 @mstgsmy @harlotforhenry @daddys-littlewhitegirl

(If your name is crossed out I couldn’t tag you, check your settings!)

#henry cavill #henry cavill characters #character headcanons #greek gods #which are they

176 notes · View notes

forever--darling · 4 years

Text

not too far away - s.m. (part eleven)

a/n: where he finally has to leave and return back to L.A.

warnings: 7.6k words of fluff shawn, lots of feelings, a nightmare, and a long goodbye

XI. a loving heart is the the truest wisdom

him

It felt unreal. Shawn literally thought he was floating on a cloud because there she was sat across the table of him, pasta on the corner of her mouth as she laughed at the way he was teasing her. Her hair was thrown up out of her face, and she was dressed in one of his hoodies because she couldn’t find one of her own at his apartment. Her hand would casually brush against his on the table and each time he swore his heart skipped a beat because finally here they were, together.

Nothing was keeping them apart and there was no longer something dividing them. It was just the two of them at a cheap Italian restaurant tucked in a booth in the back corner. There were no cameras and no eyes pressuring them as they sat and enjoyed a good meal with instrumental music sounding through the speakers. For once Shawn didn’t have to be Shawn Mendes but just Shawn, and there wasn’t anyone else he wanted to share that with besides her.

They had been friends for the last fifteen years of their life, with that small pause in between, and finally, nothing stood in their way. Shawn had wanted this since he was fourteen and knew that he wanted it at sixteen when he boarded that plane from Pickering and left her behind in tears wanting nothing more to admit his feelings to her. He never thought at twenty years old he would be sat across from his best friend at dinner, who he would later bring home to his apartment and kiss until her lips were swollen and bruised.

Sure, they hadn’t labeled their relationship to official but Shawn knew that this right here was all the confirmation he needed. He didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to leave her in the morning to board a plane and head back to LA. After spending almost every day with her and going through this emotional roller coaster they called their relationship, he knew it would take some sort of toll on him. He might even end up being late for his flight because he was sure he wouldn’t be able to untangle his limbs from hers in the morning. She was finally his and now leaving her behind while he went back to his life as singer Shawn Mendes seemed like a crack to his chest.

He missed his life in LA and missed the late night in the studios. There wasn’t a question about it, he loved his job but now there was something else he loved just as much, and that was scary. His career wasn’t easy to deal with on most days and he wanted nothing more than to wrap Y/N up in his arms and protect her from the harsh reality that outside of their little pink bubble everything wasn’t perfect. The media weren’t always the most positive towards Shawn’s relationships and if someone happened to snap one picture of the two of them, he knew everything would crumble to bits.

It worried him, to know that someday she could potentially pull away from him again but this time because of the opinions other people had and his unhinged life. That’s why at the moment as he stared at the girl across the table that had bits of hair falling in her face and was bent over in sweet laughter, Shawn promised he would protect her. He would keep her hidden away from it all and keep her for himself. He would wrap her up in his arms and keep her safe from the danger that lies outside their bubbles and their apartments. Things had finally fallen into place, and he was not about to let the girl he had so easily fallen in love with slip through his fingers a second time.

“Can you stop laughing at me,” Y/N whined, face red from embarrassment, pasta sauce dripping down her chin.

Shawn’s chest vibrated as he laughed, “Well, it’s not my fault that you completely missed your mouth.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. You were distracting me,” she replied, trying to defend herself.

Twirling a pasta noodle around on his fork, his stomach turned at the beautiful sounds of laughter that was falling from her mouth as her hands moved around frantically as she talked. “Distracted you? I was just eating my pasta.”

“Sure, just eating your pasta. I’ve never seen anyone eat pasta that way,” she reasoned taking the napkin that sat next to her to wipe her chin.

Crumbling it up, she dropped it onto the table next to her plate a spot of pasta sauce still located near her lips. She was smiling at him and Shawn smiled back dropping his fork onto the plate. “Are you making fun of the way I eat?”

“No, not all,” she teased head tilting to the side in that adorable way he loved so much, “Just the way you eat pasta.”

Shawn laughed again, shaking his head, as he glanced down towards his plate before going back to looking at her. Her smile had softened and she was staring at him with her hand propped under her chin, her dinner forgotten, along with the sauce on her face she was clearly still oblivious about. His amber orbs locked onto the white sauce and chuckled, reaching forward thumb out. Her expression turned to one of confusion but disappeared as she felt the pad of his thumb swipe along the corner of her lips.

“I’m pretty sure, you would have gotten a little mad if I let you walk out with that still on your face,” Shawn smirked, sucking the remnants of the sauce off his thumb.

Her mouth fell open agape and her eyes turned to slits at they way he sucked lightly onto the pad of his thumb. He knew by the look on her face that she wanted to say something to him about it but didn’t get to as the waitress appeared with a large smile spread across her face. An older lady, with black hair, brown eyes, and lines forming around her mouth and underneath her eyes. She had been nothing but kind to Shawn and Y/N the whole night and secretly thought they were adorable.

“How’s everything tasted so far?” she asked, though in reality she had served the food fifteen minutes prior and had gotten too caught up with other tables to come over and check to see if everything tasted alright.

Shawn offered the waitress a small smile and quickly responded before Y/N could, “Amazing.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” the waitress replied getting ready to walk away but stopped as he continued.

“Yeah, actually could we get some boxes for the food. If we could get the check too that would be lovely,” he sweet talked, noticing Y/N roll her eyes from across the table.

The waitress’s smile widened, “Of course, I’ll get right on that for you, darling.”

As she made her away from the table and out of earshot, Y/N leaned closer over the table and lowered her voice so only he could hear, “You’re such a kiss ass, you know that?”

“What?” he fanned surprise, “I was just being polite because of the great service that we got tonight.”

“Sure,” she responded, not sounding convinced at all.

Reappearing, the waitress traded with Shawn. She dropped the foam boxes onto the table and in place took his credit card from him to pay for the meal. As soon as she was gone again, Y/N was reaching over the table to slap him in the arm. “I was supposed to pay this time!”

He sent her a smirk, “Gotta be faster there, hun. Maybe next time.”

Y/N slumped against the back of the booth, arms crossed over her chest as she pulled her lips into a pout that she and Shawn both knew was fake. “Why are we leaving so quickly anyways? It’s not even late. In fact, it’s only eight-thirty. Plus your flight doesn’t leave until nine tomorrow.”

He knew what she was doing. She wasn’t entirely sure what was going on and as a way to make him admit to his devious plan, she was tripping him into telling her by asking questions and annoying him with reasons why they shouldn’t be in a hurry. And because he knew Y/N so well, Shawn didn’t fall for it. Even the pout didn’t work which would have if he wasn’t the guy who was sat across from her.

He ignored the sulking that Y/N was doing across the table and instead piled both of his pasta and hers into one box so that he wouldn’t have to carry two and would leave a little more space in his fridge. As the foam topped closed over the pasta and locked in place, on time the waitress popped out with Shawn’s card.

“Thank you for coming in tonight, guys,” she said kindly handing over the credit card.

He took it and slipped it into his wallet as he replied, “No thank you so much. Everything tasted really amazing.”

“Well feel free to come back anytime,” the waitress smiled, “And have a lovely night.”

“Yeah, you too,” Y/N spoke up, her pout wiped off of her face.

Sending a small wave, the waitress walked away to tend to another table. Sliding out of the booth, Shawn pulled on his coat and zipped it up. And just as Y/N went to pull hers on, he grabbed it from the booth and held it open for her. A smile appeared on her face at the sweet gesture as she slid each arm into the sleeves and he pulled it up and onto her shoulders. Zipping it up, she started to make her way through the restaurant heading towards the door with Shawn’s hand placed on her lower back the whole time, the box of pasta in his other hand.

The rest of the ride in his jeep back towards his apartment, he refused to tell Y/N what was going on his mind. The only kind of response he gave to all her questions, was a gentle squeeze on her thigh from his hand. Soon she had given up and fallen back into the seat defeated. It was about an eight-minute drive back to his apartment and once Shawn had parked his jeep in his normal parking spot in the parking ramp, she had jumped from the passenger seat.

She bolted for the ramp’s staircase, and he followed after her slowly, pasta box warming his hand. Once they made it up to his apartment, she had tapped her foot impatiently against the cemented floor in the hallway as Shawn unlocked the door with his keys. As soon as it was unlocked, Y/N pushed past him to get into the apartment. It was dark inside with only a single lamp from the living room providing a soft glow of light.

She turned on her heels as Shawn closed the door behind him and she stared at him with a look that said, “Okay you can tell me now.”

He smiled at how impatient she was because in reality he only made them leave the restaurant so early because he wanted to kiss her. Ever since he noticed that pasta sauce on her lips that’s all he had been thinking about and now all he could think about was how he just had to set the pasta down on the counter and then she was all his. However, the carry-out box didn’t quite make it to the counter. Actually, it didn’t make it past a few meters of the door. Shawn took one step away from the front door and his elbow bumped into a nearby coat rack sending the foam box of pasta to the ground.

A look of panic crossed his face because he was in no mood to have to clean the floor but felt relieved to notice that none had spilled and the pasta was still safely lying within the box. Maybe a little shaken up, but at least not all over his floor. He knew he should just pick up. Just move it into the kitchen but it hadn’t spilled and as Shawn’s eyes moved up Y/N’s frame to settle onto her beautiful face, he said fuck it and crossed the few feet that kept them apart. His hands latched onto her hips and he backed her up against the wall in the entryway, a soft thud sounding through the apartment as her back hit the cold wall.

His pupils were dilated and they were only able to focus on one thing, her plump lips. Shawn’s hands slipped under her, his hoodie, palms gripping the soft skin underneath gently. His lips were parted, his tongue quickly swiping across his upper lip moistening the pink area. He pressed his body harder against Y/N’s, his lips dying to taste hers. Knowing he couldn’t wait for a second longer he leaned in, heart beating loudly in his ears, as he expected his lips to fall against hers, but fell short as her voice rang through his ears.

“Are you going to pick that up?”

Shawn’s eyes fluttered open, and a moment of confusion crossed over his face as he stared at her, eyebrow raised, before it finally registered what she was talking about, “It’s fine.”

“Fine,” she retorted the word sounding sour on her tongue as her hand gestured towards the box, “You dropped it on the floor.”

If he wasn’t so focused on trying to fool around, he might have thought that her reaction to him dropping the foam box would have been adorable. But the reality was he was too turned on and aching to kiss her to think that it was adorable at the moment. “Yeah, but it’s still in the box,” he mumbled out, knee finding a way in between her legs, parting them.

“Yeah but it’s still on the floor,” she argued, shutting down all of his advances for a fucking box of pasta, “I was going to eat that.”

He sighed, warm breath fanning across her lips, “And you can still eat it. Later.”

“Shawn-”

“I’m trying to kiss you right now and you’re worried about the fucking pasta?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed, and clearly frustrated.

As the words came out of his mouth, Y/N became silent to think about what he had said. It was like a switch had flipped in her head. She had realized what was actually happening in the situation and knew she sounded insane for going on about the leftovers of her dinner instead of Shawn’s lips that were glistening from his tongue wetting them.

In that minute though that she took to think about it, Shawn rolled his eyes before slamming his lips onto hers. A small whine escaped her throat at the sudden feeling as she melted into his strong arms. After hours of being locked in his apartment, just kissing her, he knew almost every single one of her weaknesses.

From the way, her legs would tremble when he would nibble on her bottom lip to the way she sighed happily in his mouth as his long nimble fingers ran through her short hair at the sides of her head. He knew that if his hand had inched its way down to her backside and gave it a squeeze that her mouth would open welcoming in his tongue. He had gotten accustomed to how her body responded to his but that still didn’t change the fact that fire would shoot into his stomach every time her leg would hook around his, pulling him into her or when her arms would wind around his neck to steady herself against his firm body.

They had gone from kissing once at his apartment, to then again a week later at her birthday party, to now not being able to keep their lips off of each other. Maybe it was the high of all these new feelings finally being out in the open or maybe it was because of the fact that Shawn would be leaving for LA and didn’t know when he’d be back. Whatever the reasons were, they just couldn’t get themselves to stop kissing the other or getting familiar with the way the other’s body worked. To an extent of course.

They hadn’t slept together, in fact, they hadn’t done more than the heavy make-out sessions. Y/N, not having experience, had nothing to do with it either because she wanted it as much as Shawn did. Fuck, did he want it? There were so many times when he would have to detach his lips from hers and untangle themselves so he could use to the bathroom to deal with himself. No, the reality was they wanted to take things slow, or slower. They had only ever been friends and all of this physical stuff was new in their friendship and in their relationship. It was something the both of them had been longing for since they were teenagers, and even though their feelings for each other had been building over the years and had recently exploded, they didn’t want to rush things and have it all falling apart later.

Adrenaline was coursing through Shawn’s veins as a deep yearning had started to form in the pit of his chest. His hands had moved back up away from her ass to her waist, as he made work of sucking onto her bottom lip. She mewled at the feeling as her hands wandered across his back to his shoulders and down to where the zipper of his coat lied on his chest. Her fingers moved it down before she began to push the material off his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor next to the now forgotten pasta. Quickly, she did the same with her jacket, which landed next to his.

This was the point where Shawn thought that she would pull away and he would go about his business in the bathroom but instead, he felt her cold hands grasping at his back through his hoodie with all of her might as her lips continued to connect with his hungrily. Shawn knew that if they were going to stop they should soon or he might actually burst in his pants but she didn't stop. In fact, Y/N took it one step further. Her hands fell to his waist, manicured fingers curling around the green fabric of his hoodie. With her nose brushing against his, she began to raise her arms pulling the sweatshirt up exposing Shawn’s defined torso underneath.

Before she can pull it up and over his head though, his hands moved to hers stopping the movement as his lips fell away, revealing his eyes that had turned to saucers. “Hey. Wait, wait, wait.”

“What?” she asked, fingers tingling at how warm his skin was.

Shawn’s eyes scanned over her face, from the way her eyes glistened in the dim lighting to how her hair was now slightly tangled from his wandering hands, and finally to her bright red lips that were swollen and glistening from his saliva.

“Are you sure about this?” the way he asked was so soft and with so much care because though he would do this in a heartbeat he would wait longer for her if she wanted him too.

Her lips curled into a soft smile, revealing her teeth, and Shawn swore that his heart had stopped for a mere second, “Yes. I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

Instantly, his mouth widened in a smile, and couldn’t resist leaning in to place another kiss on her lips. This one is softer and slower. After a few seconds, he pulled away to be met with a confused look from Y/N on why he stopped. He didn’t say anything but instead sent her a cheeky grin as his arms moved down to wrap around her thighs, and in one swift motion he lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. It felt unreal. Shawn felt like he was floating on a cloud and the only thing he could register as he made his way towards his bedroom was the string of giggles that had escaped Y/N Y/L/N’s mouth.

her

At first, it was peaceful. The waves moved back and forth slowly underneath your body as you laid across the top, stomach reaching for the sky. Your hair was spread out around your head and your fingers curled in out and of the light blue water. There were no other sounds that filled your ears besides the sound of the waves moving back and forth and your steady breathing. At first, it was peaceful and then it wasn’t.

One minute you were floating and the next, stuck in a glass box that was locked sinking into the depths of the water. You held your breath for as long as you could, hands punching and slapping against the wall. Thuds sounding through the water with each force you sent against the sheet of glass. You screamed, bubbles forming around you, as the water began to fill your lungs. It was burning your throat and your eyes were screwed shut. Your limbs were scorching and you could see the rays of light from the surface of the water moving further and further out of reach. At that moment the pain was unbearable, all burning and stretching and filling up every single part of your body, feeling like you were on fire and then all at once it stopped.

A loud gasp ripped through your throat as you shot up in the bed, a sheet of sweat covering your body as you breathed heavily, chest rising and falling. Your hair was sticking to your forehead and goosebumps rose across the surface of your skin. Frantically, your eyes looked around the room until they fell onto the figure beside you. Shawn was asleep, face buried deep in his pillow, bare limbs spread across his side of the bed. A cold draft traveled along your skin causing a shiver to run down your spine. Glancing down at yourself, the sheets had dropped from your chest, revealing your bare torso. You sighed, it was just a dream.

Pushing the damp hair off of your forehead, you slipped out of the bed pulling on your underwear that lay discarded on the floor near the nightstand. You made your way towards the bathroom, also grabbing a navy blue t-shirt that was Shawn’s that sat in a hamper basket. You threw it over your body and tiptoed into the large bathroom, closing the door behind you.

Flicking the light switch, the white bulbs illuminated sending the whole dark room lit. You stood in front of the mirror taking in your appearance. Your face looked pale, lips dry, bags forming underneath your eyes, skin shiny from the sweat. Tucking the short hair behind your ears, you leaned over the sink to splash water on your warm skin. Your eyes closed, and the images from the dream, nightmare, flashed behind your lids.

You could feel the panic setting in. Tears began to swell in your tear ducts as your throat felt tight. Your hands were gripping the sink tightly and it was getting hard to breathe. Eyes fluttering open, the tears all fell at once. Like the timer had gone off for some sprinklers and now all you could feel was the water that was spilling down your face. Your lips were slightly parted but no sobs raked through you. It was a silent cry, one that happened slowly and quietly. It didn’t take as much energy out of you compared to a full-on breakdown which meant it lasted longer and felt just as painful.

Your eyes were getting puffy at this point, face hot and red. Hands trembling, knuckles white from how tight your grip was on the sink, head pounding. Your stomach was lurching and you felt like you were drowning as much as you had been in that dream. That same dream you hadn’t had in almost a year. One that had only caused you to wake up shaking and in tears when you were in the hospital.

On those nights where your heartbeat had slowed down and your breathing had sounded heavy. It was those nights that you were barely holding on and everyone around you was on their last shrill of hope. That’s why you were standing in Shawn’s bathroom panicking because that dream only ever appeared when you had been close to death so why now? Why was it making another appearance when your cancer wasn’t close to being as bad as it was before and why a day before your surgery?

Your surgery was scheduled for the day after tomorrow, the day after Shawn’s flight back to LA. He wasn’t going to know, you decided, because it was something he didn’t need to deal with. You had told your parents and James a few days after the party and their faces had dropped, never seeing them look that broken before right after they had been so thankful for your health and for your life. They felt like they were back at square one, with a sick child in their hands but the only difference now was you weren’t a child anymore. You were an adult who was capable of making your own decisions.

It was your decision to have the surgery, your decision to keep it away from Shawn, and your decision to do things differently this time. You weren’t going to keep it in the dark, your cancer. You hadn’t done it yet, but you were going to tell everyone. Hours before the surgery because you had a feeling, a terrible feeling, and your family needed all the support from their friends. What scared you the most was going to be telling Karen, Manny, and Aaliyah. They were the closest friends that your family had, and Shawn was going to be the only one to not know, right away at least. They might tell him, you knew that, but if that happens by the time he knows and makes it back to Canada, you will already be in surgery.

It will be done and you won’t have to deal with Shawn kissing you and making promises he knew were not his to make. You loved him, really loved him which is why you couldn’t have him there if you ended up dying on that OR table.

The drowning. The dream of you drowning, had to have meant nothing, that’s what you kept telling yourself but if you really thought that it didn’t mean anything why were you stood in front of a mirror crying. Before you could spend more time thinking about it, a knock sounded from outside of the door and your body froze as it traveled to your ears. It was soft, and if you had been sobbing you probably wouldn’t have heard it.

Quickly, you wiped at your eyes, riding them of any tears but they were still red and there was no way Shawn wouldn’t notice that you had been crying. With a deep breath and a single glance back at your reflection, you moved towards the door. Hand wrapping around the cool knob, you opened it to be met with a drowsy Shawn in nothing but his boxers. Lines were on his face, and his eyes were squinting against the lights from the bathroom. His hair was messy and sticking up in places. He looked so tired and it made you feel bad that you had accidentally woken him up since he had a flight in the morning.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, body leaning against the doorway, as he rubbed at his eyes.

You nodded, head down, hoping he couldn’t see yours, “Yeah, fine.”

As you tried to walk by him, his hand wrapped around your stomach stopping you from entering the bedroom. You sighed, eyes lifting to lock with his. Almost instantly both his hands moved up to cup your face, his tired state now being overridden by worry. “Are you sure? Because you don’t look so good. I mean you look beautiful, like always, but you’re just looking a little ill.”

His amber orbs were scanning your face, thumb stroking your cheek and you wanted nothing more than to tell him. But you knew you couldn’t stay up talking about a dream you had when he had a flight in the morning. He needed his sleep and the last thing he needed was to hear about your personal worries. Your eyes moved away from his and you shook off his touch. Turning the lights off in the bathroom, you pass by him and back into his bedroom.

“Yeah, just had a nightmare,” you replied, getting into the bed and pulling the covers up.

Shawn still stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and gaze on you, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, “I just need to go back to sleep and so do you. You have a flight in the morning.”

“Don’t remind me,” he said, crossing the length of the floor from the bathroom to the bed.

He pulled the covers back and slipped in beside you. Laying on his side, his arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer towards his bare chest. Warm legs wrapping around your cold ones, you smiled as his body pressed against yours.

“It’ll be fine,” you assured him, mind already being brought away from the dream.

“I know it will be,” Shawn mumbled, hand brushing your hair away from your neck so his face could nestle against it. His lips kissed over the new bruises, he made earlier, gently. “Just going to miss this; Canada, my family, you.”

You smiled, “I’m going to miss you too, Shawn.”

Another kiss was pressed in the dip of where your shoulder met your neck just as your eyes fluttered to a close and you began to drift back to sleep, your nightmare and all worries set aside.

The next morning, you woke up with the sun peeking through the blinds and into your eyes. You couldn’t move at first, the night before traveling through your mind. From the moment you walked through Shawn’s front door to when you woke up and ended up in his bathroom, tears rushing down your face.

Finally, you thought about how you fell back asleep, safely in your best friend’s arms as he placed kisses to your soft skin. Your stomach dropped at the thought of not having him there in the middle of the night to calm you down if you were to have a small panic attack. He didn’t even fully know what it had been about, but didn’t push you to tell him and still hugged you until you fell asleep. Slowly, you sat up in the bed, Shawn’s shirt falling down to the middle of your thighs, and instantly as you stood that’s when you felt it. The soreness that resonated from your whole body, primarily between your legs. You stumbled as you took a step.

“Shit, Shawn,” you grumbled, hand gripping the end of the bed.

After a few seconds, you took another step and then another. Walking into the bathroom, you cringed as you met your reflection, this time no longer red or crying. Running your fingers through your tangled hair, you pushed it back behind your ears before grabbing the spare toothbrush you had been using for the last couple days. Piling the toothpaste on top, you brushed your teeth, then made your way back into Shawn’s room trying to find the sleeping shorts you also had left somewhere the night before. However, your underwear and his shirt would have to do.

Ignoring the pressure that was being pushed against your legs, you continued making your way out towards the kitchen where you could hear the song Slim Shady by Eminem playing through Shawn’s speakers. A smile pulled at your lips as you entered the living room to see the man himself humming and swaying by the oven to the song. A spatula was in his hand as he rapped to the verse, head bopping from side to side. He was already dressed in a pink hoodie, and a pair of joggers, hair slightly damp from probably taking a shower.

As the chorus of the song hit, he spun around on his heels, eyes widening as they landed on you. “Good morning!” he exclaimed, hands raised high in the air.

“What are you doing?” a giggle slipped as you asked the question.

“Making breakfast,” he grinned, gesturing towards the stack of pancakes that sat on the island with the spatula, “You hungry?”

You groaned, “Starving.”

Let’s see surgery was around six o’clock in the evening tomorrow and you couldn’t eat for twenty-four hours before the surgery so you were still golden. This was probably going to be the last thing you ate, so you knew you should pile up on the food which was a good thing that Shawn had a plate full of fluffy tan pancakes waiting. Skipping up the few steps from the living room to the kitchen, you made your way over to Shawn who held out a cream mug to you. You peeked in to see that he had made you tea and your smile widened. Hand clasping around the cup, he leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips. A peck was all it was and as he did it nothing had ever felt more natural. Mornings with Shawn, breakfast, and short kisses that made you feel like you had been together for years.

As he pulled away, he hummed in satisfaction, “Minty. I see you brushed your teeth.”

“Well I wasn’t going to walk out to have you kiss my morning breath,” you replied, walking around the counter to take a seat on a stool, mug of tea in your palms.

“I think I would have survived,” Shawn chuckled as he turned back to the oven to flip the two pancakes that were being cooked, spitting verses as he did so. “How are you feeling?”

Your head fell at the question, cheeks heating up, as you instantly thought of how it was a struggle to walk when you got out of the bed. Biting onto your bottom lip, your hand found a place under your chin. “A little sore, actually.”

At your words, his head snapped in your direction, a grin forming on his face. “I actually was asking because of the whole you having a nightmare last night.”

Oh, god. You covered your face in embarrassment, though you knew you had no reason to be in front of Shawn after all these weeks spent together especially the week after your birthday. “Oh, shit. Right.”

A laugh burst from his chest, his eyes gleaming as they looked at you and your flustered state, “Yeah but you know I don’t mind hearing that either.”

You chuckled nervously, hand tugging at the collar of the shirt anxiously as you knew your face was stained red. The action, though you hadn’t noticed caught Shawn’s eyes and he couldn’t help but admire you in his shirt. It hung loosely off your body, long enough to cover your butt, but still only coming down to about your mid thigh. “By the way, love the shirt.”

Eyes snapping back towards him, he sends you a wink and with how flirty he was being, you could already feel that awkwardness that surrounded you starting to fade. In its place, that confidence rose and you knew that you could match his game. “Yeah? You like it?”

“Looks so much better on you. If only you could walk around in my clothes all day.”

“Easy,” you joked, attention falling back on the food at the sound of your stomach.

Spinning the stool back and forth, you took an empty plate that was laid out on the counter and began to pile pancakes on the top. Four sounded like the number to start with. You took the syrup and started to pour it over the pancakes as your gaze raked across Shawn’s body and the clothes he was wearing. “You’re dressed already.”

“My flight’s at nine, remember?” he said, eyes glancing over towards you.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Well what time is it?”

“Seven thirty.”

Your eyes widened, “Oh shit, already. You’re supposed to be leaving soon and I’m guessing you’re probably waiting for me to leave.”

Setting the syrup back down, you went to stand but Shawn turned hand taking yours on the counter, “Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. It’s fine. I’ve already called a car and they’re getting here soon.”

“I should probably get going then.”

His hand squeezed yours, “No, you don’t have to. Take as much time as you want.”

You cocked an eyebrow, “But don’t you have to lock up because let’s just say, I would be the one to accidentally get locked outside of your apartment in only my underwear and your shirt. It’s not like I’d be able to get back in.”

He didn’t say anything but just sent you a grin. His eyes glancing away from you towards the end of the counter before moving back to you.

“What?” you asked hesitantly, thinking he was up to something.

Following his gaze, your eyes caught sight of a key. Your breath hitched in your throat because that wasn’t Shawn’s key to his apartment. His was on a key ring with his car keys. That was just a single key. Singular and without a key ring.

Your throat became dry, “Is that a key to your apartment?”

Biting onto his bottom lip, Shawn nodded innocently turning back to the pancakes to dish them onto the plate with the rest of the stack. “Why?” you asked.

“Well, I was thinking, that I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone and for the last almost week this is where you have been staying. Let’s say that you found out you forgot something here and the thing is I’m in LA so there isn’t a way for you to get it back unless you call the landlord or I just happen to magically show up. Or what if you’re just missing me and want to come throw on one of my hoodies and chill on the couch. I’m not saying you would have to take the key because it’s a big step but we’ve been friends for a long time so it’s really not that big if you think about it. So you can take it or don’t take it. Doesn’t really matter.” he was rambling at this point, cheeks becoming rosy, as you smiled at him from where you sat.

“Shawn,” you responded cutting off his rambling, “Yes.”

“Yes?” the word came out high and rushed, eyes wide as they looked towards you.

“Yes,” you confirmed nodding, “I’ll take the key.”

A second passed before it seemed to register in Shawn’s mind what you said. Once it had, he had dropped the spatula to the counter and balled his hand into a fist. He thrust it high in the air as a loud “Yes!” came from his lips.

Shaking your head, a blush formed on your cheeks, and your lips curled into a soft smile as your fork dug into the pancake stack ready to devour it whole.

It was seven forty-five and Shawn’s Uber was downstairs waiting for him. You had him for less than ten minutes after you had finished eating and as soon as you had set your plate in the sink, he had wrapped you up in his arms and hadn’t let you go. Now it was time for him to go and you knew that he would have to get downstairs within the next minute or you both would start to hearing honking from his Uber. His duffel bag and guitar case were lying at your feet, and he was already zipped up in his coat. His lips were planted against yours, humming against them as his hands were wandering across your back down to your hips.

It only took a few more seconds before Shawn’s hand had wandered lower and gave your butt a tight squeeze through the navy shirt. You gasped pulling away from his hot lips. “Shawn,” you scolded.

“What?” he asked, sounding so innocent.

You raised an eyebrow challenging him as his hand squeezed again causing a small yelp to escape from your mouth. He smirked, hand flat, he began to rub along your round bottom, “Here’s the deal, last night I fucked you and I fucked you… hard. I think it’s only fair that I get ass privileges.”

“Really,” you mumbled, sass dripping off the word, as you rolled your eyes.

“Hey, don’t give me that attitude,” he said, voice sounding firm, though there was a smile spreading across his face, “You know I’m an ass man.”

You nodded, hand coming up to comb through the side of his curls, causing a sigh to fall from his lips, “Yeah, I think that it’s very clear with all the grabbing you’ve been doing in the last two days.”

“Sorry, it’s not my fault that you are so damn beautiful,” he replied, lips coming down to meet yours again. He kissed you hard like you were a drink he was trying to savor until the last drop.

Though you didn’t want to, and it almost felt painful too, you pulled away. Your forehead connected with his, eyes staring into his amber ones that were sparkling. He huffed as your arms dropped from around his neck and you gave him a look that told him that “he should go before you grab onto him again and never let him go.” You smiled up at him, hand brushing his cheek causing the sweetest smile you had ever seen to form on his pink lips.

“I should go,” he whispered, breath hitting your lips.

“I know,” you replied just as quiet, as his hands dropped away from your body.

You took a step back, fingers pushing a loose strand of hair back behind your ear. Your hand covered your lips, that were still tingling from touching his, and watched as he sent you one more glance over his shoulder, hand twisting the doorknob. Just as he opened the door, and began to walk out, your voice filled your own ears before you had even realized you had called out to him.

“Shawn, wait!”

You weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Were you supposed to tell him that you loved him because he was leaving? Because you were having surgery with the possibility of not being wheeled back out of that room alive. Were those three little words going to comfort him of the pain he might feel later, because hey, at least he knew that you loved him back. He had told you, at your party, that he loved you and you could feel it with every touch of his lips or feel of his hands. Could see the passion that filled his eyes whenever you caught him staring at you. At the end of the day, it was quite simple.

You felt the same way about him as he did for you, yet you had never voiced it out loud because of the coward you were. Did he even know that you loved him? He had to right? You weren’t about to let him walk out of that door, with a chance of never seeing you again, without telling him how irrevocably and completely in love with him you were. No person, in their right mind would not tell the person how much they loved them if there was a risk they would never see them again. You would be fucking crazy not too.

“Don’t forget about me when you’re out partying with all those models okay?” your chest felt like it had just been shoved down into your stomach.

That’s not what you wanted to say and definitely wasn’t what he wanted to hear but he still smiled like it was. One that sent your heart beating and butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “Forget you? Never.”

The corners of his lips pulled up, his smile widening, showing those pearly white perfect teeth. And with one last longing glance, he had walked out, door falling closed behind him. All you could do was stare at the it, hand bunched into the bottom of his shirt, with one thought moving through your mind as you stared at your best friend and the man you loved, leave to return back to the life where he belonged.

I love you too.

Then you heard your phone vibrate against the kitchen counter near the coffee machine. Sighing sadly, you grabbed the device and instantly felt your heart skip in your chest as you looked down at your lock screen and the message that was displayed. “I picked up the pasta. It’s in the fridge! Call you when I land :)”

Another thought formed in your head.

Shawn Mendes, I’m in love with you and I should have told you when I had the chance.

next part

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #my writing #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes angst

77 notes · View notes

justasparkwritings · 4 years

Text

Codename Cupid: Chapter 25 (Final)

Previous: OT8

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU, Angst, Some Fluff

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Rape (as in, when I brought it up, she got mad)

Summary: Our Lovely P.I. reminisces on the end of her mission, and the fate of the Lee’s.

To Have Loved and Lost

Present Day

I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t watch the trial of Lee Enterprises, the plea deals through sentencing.

I’m not going to lie and tell you I wasn’t at the courthouse, listening to testimony, jotting down notes to add to my files.

I’m not going to say that I haven’t spoken to Lee Euna since her family and the majority of their coworkers were sentenced, escorted off to prisons where they were certainly going to be targets. You don’t embezzle, trade and engage in fraudulent activity without being a target to the very people you stole from. Though their clientele skews towards the upper echelon of society, the everyday person knows that anyone who deals with the upper 0.01% is scum.

But I did watch.

And I have spoken to Euna, regularly actually.

She’s been kind to me, connected me with a few other higher up clients that have utilized my services for more than cheating husbands. It’s been really nice to have steady work from clients who pay bank. It’s also been nice to speak to Euna in a non-worker-employer environment. Euna doesn’t have many friends, at all, Genevieve Yang turned out to be a plant from OT7, and anyone she had worked with or gone to happy hour with was either in jail, on probation, or on house arrest.

Together, the entire board, Mr. Lee and Dae-Seong were sentenced to 50 years in prison, each. They were ordered to pay nearly 2 billion in restitution, fines across the globe totaling 100 million, and should they be let out early, probation for the entirety of their lives.

Jun-Seo and Kwan-Min, though accomplices in their father’s bidding, faired far better due to testimony and expert opinions on their mental states. Dae-Seong had been subjected to the same scrutiny, but being the sociopath that he is, did not fair too well under the gaze of multiple experts. Kwan and Seo were sentenced to 10 years, a fine of 50 million each, and upon turning into witnesses, 5 years’ probation and a combined 75 million in restitution.

Rest assured, the three free Lee’s still sit on an Everest size amount of money. They won’t be singing for their suppers or scraping by paycheck to paycheck.

Euna had been caught unawares, scared out of her mind when the raid had begun, video cameras and film crews stalking the office as various federal agents descended upon her office. She watched, horrified, as everyone was hauled off. She called me immediately, asking what I knew, and as the only person she knew not arrested, I was tasked with running to her side.

I did stay with her.

I was in the court room for her.

I was with her during witness prep, when she cried over the lies her parents had told her, when the lawyer told her what her finances and career would be like.

She was heartbroken, bewildered that her entire life had been a lie. They all knew, they were all taking part in it, and they had prepped Euna to be the lone wolf, the soul proprietor of the family name and their legacy.

Let’s be clear, I felt deeply uncomfortable the first few weeks, but what was I supposed to do? I too had been a pawn, but, but, she had no one. Literally, no one except for her lawyers and me, the P.I. she paid to find the men who ruined her life and subsequently aided in her demise. She doesn’t know that though, that I was part of it. Euna does know that Jungkook is friends with Taehyung, and I did abandon the friendship on the truth that she raped Tae. She argued at first, that our friendship was stronger than that… but the irrefutable knowledge of her sexual abuse was too much, it was the nail in the coffin of our friendship, as it should’ve been all along.

In a shocking turn of events, Yoongi is my best friend. I’m obsessed with him, truthly and deeply in love. He is easily the most pragmatic, off putting, cuddly monster I have ever come in contact with. I spend whatever time I’m not with Jungkook and the rest of OT7, with Yoongi. It helps that Jungkook idolizes him, not as much as Namjoon or Seokjin, but pretty close. I just, I hate that I love his friends so much, and that I’m so jealous of his connection with them. They believe in one another, are rarely tired of each other even after a decades long mission. OT7 is, as cliché and disgusting as it is, a family. Jungkook was right, he can’t breathe or move without any one of them knowing.

Also? They’re ridiculously funny, thoughtful and compassionate. I truly hate them, and so desperately want to be a part of their club. If this is true friendship, well, maybe I would’ve held on to some of my acquaintances longer.

The other bit of news, I guess, is that I retired the old P.I. hat. I’m getting too old for this shit, and also, Euna had begun sending shitty threatening letters and packages to my office. While I was devastated to abandon my corner office, my safety took precedence and Jungkook nearly lost his shit when he saw the “gifts”. Amongst this outrage over my safety, I have fully been onboarded with OT7, well, adjacent. The company that oversees them, Big Hit, a horrible name, has put me to work. I don’t work with Jungkook, but am in constant communication with Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok. Thankfully, I don’t have to work with Seokjin, finances aren’t really a part of my gig. Jimin and Taehyung have come in handy, and I might be obsessed with Taehyung, too. I was right, tailing him was terribly terrific, and being in his orbit is equally as thrilling.

My first case with Big Hit was working a heist job, replicated documents, tracking who had been in and out of the museum, matching facial recognition across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and federal databases as well as creating a comprehensive program to track comparisons.

I couldn’t tell you what my sister does, but when I described a few aspects of my new job, she said “Seems familiar.” C remains, as ever, a mystery.

Jungkook and I have been in therapy for a while. It’s amazing what you can unlock when you pay a professional to help you heal yourself. I’m, obsessed with therapy? Not even a question, I love therapy. I went regularly as an adolescent but stopped when I was about 22. I go separately, and every other week, Jungkook and I go together. He goes on his own, something everyone in OT7 encouraged. We live together, blissfully, and moved to a bigger apartment where we promptly got a dog named Gureum, a name Jungkook picked out.

I love him, so much more than I did when we started dating. So much more than when he told me he loves me, or when we moved in together, or when I met his family or when Namjoon told me that all Jungkook wants is a life with me. Which, one, was none of his business, and two, didn’t freak me out as much as I thought it would. Probably the therapy, or the acceptance that a life with him is all I want, too.

When Lee Euna came into my office, all Versace and dripping, oozing, pooling wealth, I didn’t know this is where my life would lead me. I didn’t know I would end up working for a major organization, steeped in secrecy, that I would find the love of my life, or friends that make every moment a little bit brighter. I didn’t know that sitting in that little office, sun streaking through stained glass, bourbon cheesecake waiting in my mini fridge, that the click-clack of Louboutin’s would alter the trajectory of my life forever.

But that’s the thing with secret missions, or shady surveillance under the cover of night and letters placed on your car seat, you never know what you’re going to find. Now, nearly three years later, all I have left to say to Codename Cupid is this:

Mission Accomplished.

8 notes · View notes

thinking-in-symbols · 3 years

Text

Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years. When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog. Today I thought I’d revisit that. I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames. I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station! Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this. I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things. I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic. But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm. “Proficient” is a relative term. But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages. I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this. If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused. More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what? I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial. So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish. I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently. Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room. So there’s more work to do. More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point. I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man. I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment. I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories! Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place. I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this. I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected. This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect. Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet. Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket. I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much. Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep! Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years. I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position. More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious. Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately. But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this. That’s a cool idea. I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle. I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money. No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop. That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career. Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others. No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope. I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird. Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right? Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating. So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it. I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues. Just kidding. But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done! Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French! But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao. I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself. How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post. But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done. I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever. I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this. I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive. But a van? Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort. This has actually been front-of-mind for a while. I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point. I do have other thoughts on this, though. Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term? Three months? If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school. However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet. I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through. We’ll see where this goes. It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done. It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes! :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about. I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated. But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing. So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years. Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it! Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-)

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet. I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat. Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad! I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”. I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself. The point is, they got done. That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships. I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying. And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life. I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh. I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing. I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect. These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life. I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap. Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change. I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds! Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development. The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort. For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point. It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two. The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science. Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas. I mean, I’ve done some. But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree. I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school. Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now! So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list. I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate. I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more. I know what I need to know. It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news. I’ve always been scared about entering the working world. All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have. But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term. So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done. What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished. I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest. But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life. Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK. There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames. Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

2 notes · View notes

violetsystems · 4 years

Text

#personal

Because of the Internet, cycles of things don’t really follow the same pattern as the older generation is used to. They think they know obviously. Their favorite game is called human capital and we are the pawns, bishops and knights on the chessboard for them to sacrifice. I’m forced to read a lot of financial opinions as an outsider. For somebody in the aforementioned camp, Mario Gabelli had at least acknowledged that the Fortnite generation has been slowly growing up. Apps like Robinhood have opened the market up to steal your hard earned pennies. And then accounts get hacked, money gets stolen, and the older generation laughs and shakes it’s head. You stupid kids and your lack of motivation. If you didn’t spend all your time living your life instead of making us money. I think he forgets like most boomers do that there’s an entire generation after them that was born and bred on Tron. I didn’t land into the stock market after playing Call of Duty with my bros to be honest. I melted down a twenty year pension from a place of employment that ghosted, derezzed and ignored my entire identity. Other people might have traded online through simulations, harvested their bitcoin at the behest of their electric bill or just have rich parents, I’m not like other people. We all have figured this out after how many years of writing these to an invisible tribunal of amazing people. I often read these other perspectives about the financial industry controlled by pundits, investors, and people who generally talk down to the little person like me. We are what people refer to as “the retail investor.” We’re written about like the plague mostly because nobody can really control our strategies or bully us into submission. Much of the idea of retirement is hinged on investments in America. Social Security is about to run out at some point. My generation will probably be the first to see my government stiff the bill and run away. Corporations and working for them at times can be a whirlwind of interconnected dots. Money and loss on paper becomes a zero sum shell game for the rich. It’s not about the work you do. It’s about the money you spend for them. Donald Trump took a loss for almost two decades which is incidentally how long I was gainfully employed. A typical artist in America can take a hobby loss for up to five years. The same artists with no healthcare to speak of. The fiscal cliff that we all dread is nowhere reflected in the markets. Neither is the actual driving force behind their profit. America is a consumer based economy and America is simultaneously shrinking and bursting at the seams. These are all stitched together by a frail, aging ideology that doesn’t want to let go. Generation X’ers like myself are used to being forgotten about. I travelled the world looking for someone to look at me as more than a number. And now people follow me around because I’m a name on their company registry. But nobody really ever speaks to me directly. I’m a dataset and a demographic that only speaks as a number on paper. Until I do things that the financial elite can’t stand. I make a decision that is based on things they don’t value. I choose to put my money elsewhere. And this is why people hate us. Because you can’t speculate on chaos that you do not control. And America is simply profit off of speculation which is a value amounted to 20.83 trillion dollars in debt. Which doesn’t sound much like it’s in control of anything except printing money.

I grew up on computers. My mother helped me start my first bulletin board system. I had my very first phone line in my bedroom around the time wargames came out. I used to post the number on boards before I had even set up a system like Telegard. I would advertise it like a mysterious military site out of a Gibson book. People would call and the modem would pick up the carrier tone and dump them to a blank monochrome screen. From there my twelve year old self would punk people into thinking I was an AI. Years later I found a twenty year career in Information Technology in the Arts which abandoned me in a wholly disturbing way. My knowledge of computers still stayed and those skills kept me alive in these times. I grew up playing games because I had no friends and suffered horrible bullying. I was an only child who was ridiculously intelligent but often quiet and ignored. Years later it’s not so much different. The bullying is still out there. America rewards the loud and the forthcoming mostly because it is too lazy to seek out the nuances. Convenience has warped America’s attention span beyond the regular flow of time. Computers and connection over the years have rapidly accelerated the dominance of these ideals. Jobs exist all over the world these days. Most of the ones I’ve been interested in have been in China. But due to the circumstances of my situation, I was forced to take a larger sum of income this year than I would have liked. Sounds terrible right? No shortage of people trying to scam me into spending it. Any further income accrued this year becomes taxed horribly. Ironically, the Illinois fair tax law changes the game even further as retirement income was not taxed before the amendment. If passed, any retirement income that was not with held will be owed. Another round of layoffs to liquidate pensions from the bottom line in cities like ours will definitely affect people worse than me down the road. I’ve been stumbling through the process alone since the end of July. A lot of what I had done was to part out and budget money in my own way playing a waiting game that I’ve grown used to in my life. I am at the peak of stagnancy at the moment. Staring out at another blank screen typing into the void every week while people lift bits and pieces for their own convenient narrative of me and my value in human capital. Headhunters no longer stalk the internet. They follow you around in the street with forced intimidation expecting you to read into what they think you deserve to spend the rest of your life doing. All the while trying to wrap you up back into an ecosystem for less pay, shrinking benefits, and an economic ecosystem of investments of both human and monetary. Debtors are paired with debtors. Marriages are arranged for tax purposes and rich oligarchs with political ties find more ways to pay less. And yet they never really understand the power of connection they do not have. They don’t communicate. They project. They expect you to believe that we’re all in this together when they never hear a word you say. The only time they listen is when you take your money away. I’m single. Never been married. An only child. And pretty much an exile on Wall Street with more liquidity and equity suddenly than most people in America. And much like everyone paying more taxes to a government that has basically turned into a formulaic limp dick reality show.

A reality show that treats me like the Babadook at best these days. I can’t even leave my house anymore without somebody following me or watching me. I realize this might just be the hazards of my next pivot into global employment. I thought these long forms of prose were enough of a background check for the FBI at this point. It’s called “transparency and accountability” Scully. I realize ethics aren’t a valuable skill in America. But the utter lack of human emotion for my situation speaks volumes to me. And it should be a wakeup call for most who live and work in this dangerous time. They really don’t give a fuck about us in such a comedic way that they don’t realize our power. Our power is confidence and they find ways to undermine it. Tell you that you aren’t beautiful enough so that you spend more money on things you do not need. Ignore and isolate you until you breakdown and ask for their help. Until you treat yourself in bankruptcy so they can print more money. These times are abusive at best in a way that I have never been prepared for. But those on top don’t really understand how it feels to be under the thumb for years. I do. Corporations aren’t human and neither are most rich people. I realize that life here is literally all about money. Last night was a very good example of that when I read the news about a game I played shutting down. I cried because it was the only thing connecting me to anything social without being overbearing and weird. And I had invested a sizeable amount of my pension in the thought that this might keep the ecosystem alive. The lesser of two evils of investing. Put money where you think it will be used fairly and wisely. Water the garden and watch it grow. The amazon stock is literally over three grand per share. They own everything. They’ve shattered their profits due to the shift from COVID to delivery. Small businesses shutter. Hard artistic work is pissed to the wind. And people like myself are left to wonder why the fuck Jeff Bezos needs any more money from me to treat me like a fucking lab rat. These companies do not give a fuck about you as a person. They want your money. They want to leverage your image, your words, your narrative to push something that doesn’t benefit you at all. There is no excuse for me to be invisible after all these years let alone from what happened to me in July. And yet, there is no real way to get back at it. Other than to completely divest from something that only hurts. Capitalism is funny that way. It desperately wants your participation to stay alive. A two trillion dollar company like Apple cares only about the cut for their investors not the art that drives these bricks that become obsolete in two years. The reason the old generation is contentious to us is that we see the scam in broad daylight. We trolled you behind the scenes. And when we learn the truth, it hurts. We can always hurt back. I divest. I decouple. I wonder what motivates me as a human being and not a bottom line for some rich fuck who got their way scamming people into thinking they’re worth less so they could have more. The internet moves pretty fast. It can all fall apart in a keystroke. And these people will still be making excuses and not staring us point blank in the eye. I’ll still be playing video games and you’ll still be investing in what you think you know about me. Which last time I checked is jack shit other than the fact that it’s safe enough to plant a nuclear physicist under my apartment for a year without me knowing. Shall we play a game? See you at the opening bell Jeff!

2 notes · View notes

darkestwolfx · 5 years

Text

Ring of Fire - Part I - Re-Review #1

Okay, here we go! I’m probably just going to ramble a bit like I used to. Everyone okay with that?

To start with, I think I forgot just how good that opening was. I mean hello all those years waiting for someone to do a remake right. I don’t know how Virgil got to draw the lucky straw for being the first brother to get screen time but it works

“Thunderbird Five, I need you now.”

That whole TV bit with Alan still got me! And I love being reminded how right from the off the original was still going to be referenced.

“I almost missed by favourite show.”

I’ll admit, I didn’t understand why MAX was there when I first saw this episode. I grew to like him.

David Graham will always make part of this show for me. He is a legend and I’m so glad he came back for this because I don’t think Parker would have been quite the same without him.

“Parker, when was the last time you had your eyes checked?”

“Not since the service, hI’m sure.”

I always thought the decision to make Grandma a bad cook was going to be a bit of an iffy choice considering I grew up with TOS where Grandma was like cookery-goddess.

Jeff! We don’t even know hardly anything much yet, and Virgil (once again - he did draw the lucky straw, didn’t he?) gets to be the first to mention it.

“Dad’s desk. I guess in a way he’s still looking out for us.”

I’ll be honest, with all the times we had little mournful snippets of moments about Dads, I really didn’t think there would be a return of Jeff Tracy moment.

“Really that’s the same type Dad had on his ship.”

The only way to take Jeff out would have to be tragic wouldn’t it considering what the boys can do.

I never noticed Grandma hovering in that scene before, although it makes sense considering they were discussing her son.

The brotherly comradeship and rivalry the voice actors managed to set up in this is definitely magical still. It’s so in keeping with the ups and downs expected in a relationship between five brothers.

“We’ll do our best, Scott. We’ll do our best.”

“Do you have to make it look so easy?”

“Lucky shot.”

Gordon looked very... HD in this ep. I mean, I know the show is in HD, but for a few moments there when he was swimming and getting out of fall trench - it just seemed extra. Very Gordon’s style I suppose.

Increasing the role of John and Thunderbird Five was probably one of the best decisions TAG ever made. I mean, I grew up with it so I love the original and I probably always will, but I never liked how little John was seen just because he was the least liked by the creators. Don’t ever influence your fans that way in my opinion. And it never worked for me; I was one of those who always wanted to see more of John. So if we’re making a tick-list for things TAG did right, tick that one off now!

Rescue number 2 - Tick! I’m going to count how many rescues we actually got in three series (Alan rescuing the TV really does not count). Anyone want to roll up and place a bet?

(I’m being serious, please do)!

Virgil yawning... Remembering these boys are still human is sometimes hard, but moments like that are worthwhile.

“Quite ha trade for these things hon the black market... So hI’m told.”

That is definitely Parker’s catchphrase. I’m pretty sure it appears in like... four other episodes.

But really, has no one taught this family the rules about seeing a red button and not pressing the red button?

(Obviously they are younger in this, but I mean, the backstory we have makes every one of these boys out to be smart considering their universities/careers etc - you would think they’d have heard about red buttons by now. It’s only 2060 after all)

At least they held some kind of conference on it, however opinion-based it was.

The Hood had to show up in the first episode didn’t he? It was kind of only fair.

“The same person responsible for Dad’s crash.”

And that’s not at all surprising really. Because it kind of would have been a let down if it was anyone else.

I’m planning to try and do these daily, but I already know that this week tomorrows and Wednesday’s will probably not appear until Thursday, so please bear with me for the wait!

But this was the first of my Re-Review Series as I am calling it!

11 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

898.

5k Survey XXV

1201. Have you ever owned a record? >> Yeah, I own several records. 1202. In some states people want to make it a requirement that creationism (god made the world) be taught alongside evolution in high school sciences classes. What do you think of this? >> I don’t think it should be a requirement. I think the current evolution-based curriculum should be standardised, and teaching about the fact that creationism is a concept is something a teacher can do, if they’re so inclined to present that side of things. Even then, since creationism is not a true theory that has been subjected to the rigors of the scientific method and found viable, it’s technically not on-subject for a science class. So. 1203. Should evolution also be taught in religious establishments like church or temple? >> If the function of a religious establishment is to perpetuate the beliefs of that faith, and evolution doesn’t count as a belief of said faith, then there’s no point? That’s just not what a religious establishment is for. Now, if we’re talking about religious schools, then I guess it’d depend on whether it’s publicly or privately funded. I imagine you can make a publicly-funded religious school use the same curriculum as the public schools, but good luck getting that to fly in a privately-funded institution. In which case, like it or not, they get to teach what they want. 1204. Can a person believe in creationism and in evolution at the same time? >> I don’t know. There are a lot of seemingly-opposite ideas that a person can hold in their minds at the same time without their head exploding, but I’m not too sure truly believing in creationism would also allow one to recognise the validity of evolution. Or vice versa. 1205. You obviously like surveys since you are filling out a 5,000 question one. Do any of the following surveys sound interesting: The Doors/Jim Morrison Survey: They all sound interesting (except the WTC one, like, what...?), I just wouldn’t take all of them. Moving on. The David Bowie Survey: The Beatles Survey: The Rocky Horror Survey: The Labyrinth Survey: The SLC Punk Survey: The birthday survey: So this is love, the survey: The heartache/break up survey: Creationism vs. Evolutionism Survey: Opinion Survey: World Trade Center Survey: Halloween Survey: Survey of Sin: How evil are you? Survey: The Roaring 20’s Survey: Well, once, long ago, I created all those surveys. Now they are floating around in people’s diaries because the diary I had them in (Simply Surveys) was deleted due to disuse. >> Moving on.

1206. Who did you get this survey from? Say one nice thing about the person you got this survey from: >> Another survey-taker is taking it and I’m copying it from her blog. She seems like a friendly person. 1207. Here is a list of priorities… Love/sex Family Close friends School/learning Job/career Being true to yourself/self respect Honesty Aesthetics (beauty in the world) Creativity Patriotism Knowledge Wisdom Leading an exciting life Making a contribution to humanity Being rich Being famous Having power Justice/fairness World peace Accepting and understanding others Finding yourself Spirituality/religion Health Happiness What are your top three priorities from this list? >> Being true to myself, health, wisdom. 1208. Out of that same list what are your BOTTOM 3 priorities? >> Being rich, being famous, having power. 1209. How many hours of TV do you watch in an average day? >> 1 or 2 hours. Exceptions would be days like today, when I binge 6 episodes of a show in a row because they finally added the latest season to Netflix and I was excited off my ass. 1210. Do you want to have a car, a house and 2.5 kids? >> The house would be fine, I suppose, but I don’t care about the other shit. 1211. What song, CD, or band is a ‘guilty pleasure’ for you (meaning you know it sucks but you like it anyway)? >> There’s no such thing for me. I don’t even understand what “you know it sucks but you like it anyway” is supposed to mean. Either I like something or I don’t. 1212. If you were going to vote for a candidate for president and then you found out that the person you were going to vote for is HIV positive would that effect your vote and why? >> No. 1213. Have you ever had an HIV test? >> Yes. 1214. What time do you: Get up in the morning: Any time between 6.30a and 9a. Eat lunch: I don’t have dedicated meal times. Do something active during the day: If I don’t do it in the morning, shortly after waking, it doesn’t get done. Go to bed: Any time between 10p and 12a. 1215. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? >> I’ve ridden on them many times. 1216. When you hear the word ‘biker’ what kind of person do you think of? >> A person in leathers who rides a motorcycle. 1217. Did your parents ever talk to you about sex? >> No. 1218. If your pet dies, you can now have it cloned for $50,000. How do you feel about this? >> This doesn’t interest me in the slightest. Also, where the fuck am I getting 50 grand? 1219. Are you or would you be embarrassed about buying condoms? >> I was never embarrassed about condoms. 1220. Do any of your clocks make an odd noise or play a song when the hour strikes? >> No. 1221. What are the things that make you go 'Hmmmm….’ (remember that song?)? >> I don’t remember that song. 1222. Are you a sinner? >> I imagine I would be if I subscribed to a worldview that included sin. 1223. Are you naughty or nice? >> --- 1224. Is belly-dancing sexy? >> It is. It’s also just pretty, and skillful. 1225. What celebrity would you love to be able to dance with? >> --- 1226. What is your favorite comic book movie? >> I don’t have one. Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok were cool. 1227. What movie would you recommend for couples to watch on Valentine’s day? >> --- 1228. Besides when you were little how many people have seen you completely naked and who? >> Quite a few people have. Not even necessarily in sexual contexts. 1229. Is sex something that should be treated casually? >> If that suits you, then sure. It doesn’t suit me, so I don’t treat it casually. 1230. Have you ever participated in an orgy? If no, would you ever consider it? >> No. I’ve considered it in the past, but I’m just not interested in outworld sex of any kind at this time. 1231. What song is in your head right now? >> The Shameless theme song, because I spent half the day watching that and the song is catchy. 1232. What was the best day of your life like? >> --- 1233. What are you all about? >> --- 1234. You have won a contest where you get all these great prizes but you can only keep one for yourself and must give the others away to friends, family or whoever. Which one do you keep and who do you give the rest to: A $5,000 gift certificate to radio shack: A brand new yellow jeep: An all expense paid vacation for 2 to Italy: Lunch with N'Sync: A lifetime supply of herbal essences shampoo: A $1,000 check: A palm pilot? An autographed picture of Shakira: Breakfast with kid rock: A shirt once worn by Jonathan Davis: One round of mini-golf with Sharon Osbourne: A phone call from Robert Smith: A brand new washer/dryer: Free medical insurance for 1 year: 1235. Who do you think you might have known in a past life? >> --- 1236. Do you take vitamins? >> No. I probably should. 1237. Do you prefer fake or real flowers around the house? >> I don’t care about having flowers around the house at all. 1238. Sometimes roses are pink, yellow, white or red. If you give someone a rose, does its color change the meaning behind it as a gift? >> If you know flower language, yeah. If you don’t, then I guess it’s just about colour preference. 1239. What’s the most deadly thing you can think of? >> Death. 1240. To-MAY-toes or to-MA-toes? >> I say it the former way. 1241. Out of all your friends, family and the people you know who is the most: Intelligent: Happy: Miserable: Easily influenced: Cranky: Bitchy: Evil: Nice: 1242. What’s the best live musical performance you ever saw? >> The only live musical performance I’ve seen is Phantom of the Opera, but I gotta say if that’s the only one I ever get to see, then that’s fine because it was amazing.

1243. Have you ever had a 'pregnancy scare’? >> Yes. 1244. Kelly Osbourne or Madonna’s version of “Papa Don’t Preach”? >> I’ve only heard Madonna’s. Or, I only remember hearing Madonna’s. Either way. 1245. Can you change a tire? >> Yeah. 1246. Have you ever put your fist through a wall? >> Nearly. 1247. When do you feel the most relaxed and able to be yourself? >> When I’m at home in my room and not having an emotional flashback or overload or whatever. 1248. Do you have a place that is your own where you won’t show anyone else? >> No. Not for a lack of desire, though. I just don’t know any place that I can keep that private. 1249. Are you a part of any teams or clubs? >> No. 1250. Is cheerleading a sport? >> It fits the profile to me.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

1 note · View note

heysnowflake · 5 years

Text

50 Questions

1. What takes up too much of your time?

My job. Plus overthinking pretty much takes up 24 hours of my day.

2. What makes your day better?

Spending quality time with loved ones, I’m a simple gal. Also a Rattler must be in hand at all times.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

When it happens, I’ll let you know

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Ooooooh probably Rivendell

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I’ve been told that I am so I’m going to say… I guess?

6. Do you have any mental illness?

My peers would probably disagree but, as far as I’m aware, I have no mental illness xD

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

I don’t think I have? Oh god I hope not

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Hans Zimmer

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes, yes I have

10. What’s your dream date?

Going to the zoo during the day, going to the fair in the evening, then a walk on the beach

11. What do others notice about you?

My hair is usually the first thing people notice because it is curly as fuck.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I break my chocolate bars into the individual squares and have to put them in size and ingredient preference (like if it’s hazelnut chocolate bar for example) before I eat them

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, I haven’t spoken to him since I bumped into him a few years ago

14. How many exes do you have?

As in people I’ve actually dated, around 6 I think

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

I have many playlists for each of my own specific categories and each one has at least 100 songs on them

16. What instruments can you play?

The piano is my main instrument, the recorder, the xylophone and I’m just starting to learn the kalimba

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Undoubtedly, my dogs and the dogs I work with take up the majority of my camera roll

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Australia

19. What is your zodiac?

Virgo (technically Virgo/Libra cusp)

20. Do you relate to it?

Honestly, I couldn’t be more of a Virgo if I tried

21. What is happiness to you?

Happiness is being able to find the good in every day

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Nothing tremendously traumatic. Simply in an interesting phase of my life. I’m making decisions I wouldn’t normally make, some are amazing, some not so much. But I’m working towards a better me and that’s what matters.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

The entirety of 2016 was the worst decision I ever made

24. What’s your favourite store?

For groceries- Sainsbury’s. For clothes- I’m torn between boohoo, misguided and asos

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

It’s your body and your life, so it is absolutely your choice. And it should only be your choice, no one else’s.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

No, weirdly enough. I’m that organised bitch that keeps lists for everything but I do not have a bucket list… yet.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I don’t really remember albums, I’m more of a playlist kinda gal

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I’m not materialistic when it comes to birthdays, Christmases etc. as long as I can eat a great meal with good people, that will satiate me more than any physical gift

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

Usually that I’m very polite, sarcastic and somewhat witty.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Different people have assumed I’m either much younger or older than I actually am. One person thought I was 25 when I was actually 18, at the time. Then another assumed I was 19 when I was actually 23, the age I am now. So the general is between 18-30 xD

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Charging somewhere just out of reach from my bed so that I actually have to get up to turn off my alarm

32. What word do you say the most?

‘Oof’

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 45, I think- I’m a very firm believer of age is just a number. But obviously, realistically, I’d want to date someone that I can have a foreseeable future with so I figure a just over 22 year difference is a good maximum.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

18 or 19, I reckon. That’s a 4 or 5 difference from my current age.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

An accountant or teacher

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

Musical and/or rock

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I do love the country I live in, but I have to say, living in New Zealand would be awesome

38. What is your current favourite song?

My all time favourite song is Shattered by Trading Yesterday, but at the moment, the one I am listening to most at the moment is Paris Holds The Key To Your Heart from Anastasia

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Blimey, I just checked and I think it was December 29th 2011… so that would have made me just 15. So, 8 years.

40. What are you excited for?

The possibility of what the future holds. And also the fact that the Sims gallery is coming to console this year. I know that’s sad but it’s true.

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener, for sure!! I genuinely love hearing someone’s story and learning more about them. I also am one of those people that love to ask ridiculous questions and hear their answers.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

The other night, I went with my gut and it led to a very productive night wink wink hint hint smiley face

43. What do you want for Christmas?

Just a bloody good Christmas roast

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

When I used to be in education, my best grades were in music, business and English

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

I’m a solid 7

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Being a teacher actually, but the future isn’t something I think about all that much. I like to take each day as it comes.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I don’t feel like I’ve had a true heart break. I’ve definitely had my spirit broken before though.

48. What age do you want to get married?

Ideally 30-37

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

A vet

50. What do you crave right now?

A person I am currently waiting for to finish work

#Questions #Questions Tag

4 notes · View notes

leiascully · 6 years

Text

Fic: Baseball Metaphors (6/?)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Oops hi did you want more? It’s PG-13.

+ + + +

Ethan asks Mulder about local sports teams as they wait for dessert and Mulder genially plays along. It's another cliché, but at least he is actually interested in sports. It's been a while since he and Danny managed to catch a football game.

"Hard to keep up when we're out of town so much," he says, settling his arm more firmly around Scully, who leans gently against him.

"I'm sure," Ethan says. "I'm impressed."

"He's cheating," Scully says fondly. "It helps to have a photographic memory."

"Guilty," Mulder says, and grins.

"Sounds helpful," Jenny says. "At least, it would be in our line of work."

"In ours, it's sometimes a curse," Mulder says solemnly, and Ethan and Jenny both look taken aback and then a little abashed.

"Of course," Jenny mumbles.

"It's all right," Mulder says. "That's why the Bureau has in-house therapists."

"Well, given what happened to Dana, it seems like that's a pretty useful benefit," Ethan says.

"Oh, let's not talk about that," Scully says with a tinkling little laugh. "It's been such a nice night. Let's not spoil it."

"She's right," Mulder says. "It's been a nice night."

"We should do it again sometime," Jenny says brightly.

"Absolutely," Scully says, and they're saved by the arrival of dessert. Scully takes a bite and groans with pleasure, a little dramatically in Mulder's opinion, but he can't argue with the frisson that goes up his spine. She sinks the fork back into the little cake and brings the next morsel to his mouth. He closes his lips slowly around the fork and lets the chocolate melt onto his tongue.

"Mmmm," he says, and she smiles at him. He cracks the burnt sugar shell on the top of his crème brûlée with the back of his spoon and offers her the first bite. She licks the custard off the spoon, her tongue darting between her lips. No French kissing until Paris, he thinks, but aren't they about as close as they can get tonight? The chocolate cake is fine, tasty even, but he's sure it would be delicious on her lips.

They trade bites of the bittersweet cake and the creamy custard. Scully steadies herself with one hand on his thigh as she leans closer. Maybe it's just been a while since he was actually touched by a woman, but his heart beats faster, circulating blood to interesting places. If he and Scully were alone, he might make an Eiffel Tower joke. She'd probably say something about him not being worthy of a World's Fair. If they were still in view of Ethan and Jenny, he'd slip an arm around her waist and kiss her. Otherwise, he'd just smirk and push his hands into his pockets the way he always does. But it's good, the way she's braced against him. It lends credence to their narrative.

"Divine," Scully declares when they've left only traces of dessert on the plates. The busser comes to clear everything away as the waiter approaches with the check.

"Please, allow me," Ethan says, reaching for his wallet.

"We couldn't," Mulder tells him, sitting up and fishing for his own wallet.

Ethan puts out his hand. "I insist. I know that federal salary schedule is thankless. Our treat, as a thanks for all you do."

"It's the least we can do," Jenny says.

"That's awfully kind," Mulder says, leaning back and slinging his arm around Scully again. "We'll get the next one."

"What a great idea, honey," Scully says, rubbing his thigh.

"I knew we could work this out," Ethan says. He hands over his credit card.

"Gosh, this was so nice," Jenny gushes. "I heard so much about you before, Dana. It's nice to finally put a face to the stories."

"Good stories, I hope," Scully murmurs.

"Oh, of course," Jenny says earnestly. "I mean, I was half-expecting a halo."

"She saves the halo for the weekends," Mulder tells her. "And church, of course."

"Oh, stop," Scully says in a pleased voice.

"I really thought I'd be going to your wedding," Jenny continues. "Watching this guy be the one that got away." She laughs and loops her arm through Ethan's. "I was really sorry to hear that you moved away for a while."

"Is that what he said happened?" Scully asks. Her smile turns brittle.

"You remember, babe," Mulder says, stroking her shoulder. "That temporary assignment. Rough case, but you made it through."

"I certainly did," she says.

"Special commendation," Mulder says in a confidential tone. "She doesn't like to brag."

"Same old Dana," Ethan says, shaking his head.

"Same old me," Scully agrees. Her voice is only barely tight, but Mulder can feel the tension in her. "Anyway. It's classified, unfortunately, or I'd tell you all about it."

"What's really important is that it brought us together," Mulder says. "It really made me realize how much I needed you in my life. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone."

She smiles weakly at him. "You need Joni Mitchell?"

"I do," he says solemnly. "And you."

"That's so sweet," Jenny says. "You two need to hush or I'll start crying again."

The waiter brings the check back for Ethan to sign and they start gathering their things. Not a moment too early in Mulder's opinion. He helps Scully up and keeps his arm around her as they walk out. They wave goodbye to Jenny and Ethan as they get into the car. Mulder checks his mirrors and pulls out into traffic, merging smoothly into the flow.

Scully sighs, a long exhalation. "That was...something."

"At least they were nice," Mulder offers. "Mostly."

"They were nice," Scully agrees. "And she's very pretty."

"Hmm," Mulder says.

She darts a glance at him, amused. "It's all right," she says. "You can admit that she's pretty."

"Not my taste," Mulder avers.

"Really," Scully says, crossing her arms. "I seem to recall you expressing interest in lithe brunettes on several occasions."

"I'm into redheads now," he tells her. "Petite ones."

She snorts. "You're not on stage anymore, Mulder."

"I'm a method actor," he says. "I have to live the experience. Right now I'm living the experience of being deeply in love with you and deeply full of mediocre food."

"At least we didn't order the boeuf bourguignon pocket," she says. "God, they're buying a house. They're having a baby. They have jobs where they get bonuses."

"Hey," he says. "I know you don't need the reminder, Scully, but you have an impressive career. You're an accomplished person with credentials and integrity anyone would admire." He pauses. "And you're a beautiful woman."

"Aren't you supposed to save that kind of commentary for when I'm about to get out of the car?" she asks.

"Nah," he says. "This way you know it's not just a line."

"Nothing's ever just a line with you," she mumbles, toeing off her shoes and pulling her feet onto the car seat. "There's always some deeper meaning. It's like I'm always in freshman literature, analyzing every word you say."

"I'm not even an upper-level seminar?" he asks. "Can't wait to read your dissertation on Fox Mulder's bullshit."

"It's my life's work," she says, rolling her eyes. "But thank you. For all of it."

He reaches out and flourishes his fingers at her until she takes his hand. "You're welcome."

They ride like that for a few minutes, parallel lives in the dark, following the tracks of the headlights.

"Mulder," she says. "When I was halfway in your lap in the restaurant. Was that an Eiffel Tower joke I felt?"

"I am nothing if not predictable," he says, glad it's dark so she can't see the faint flush on his face. "I told you, I'm a method actor."

"I see," she says. "Let me guess: the elevator's working."

"You said it, I didn't." He makes a left turn and then has to stop almost immediately at the next light, backed up behind a line of cars. "Although that is the 'is your refrigerator running' of Eiffel Tower jokes."

"I see," she says. She tugs at her seatbelt, leans over, and gazes at him for a moment.

"Wha-" he starts to say, and then she kisses him, her mouth open, her tongue brushing against his. He melts like the inside of his crème brûlée, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. She doesn't taste like chocolate or wine or cream, but he can't get enough of her anyway. His thumb skates over her cheekbone, traces the shell of her ear, and slips down to caress her throat as she kisses him insistently, her fingers weaving into his hair.

They only break apart when someone honks behind them, a loud long blast. Scully jumps back into her seat and rebuckles her belt - he didn't even notice when she undid it. She tugs her skirt down her thighs and smooths her hair as he puts the car into gear. The honking behind them finally stops.

Mulder coughs as he accelerates. "I thought no French kissing until Paris."

"In a way, we went to Paris," she says thoughtfully, her voice a little raspier than normal. "And you can't tell me that meal was fulfilling."

"I do find a third course of tongue very satisfying," he admits.

"You've only had one so far," she says. He risks a glance at her. She cocks an eyebrow at him. "Although it would seem it only takes one to call your elevator. So to speak."

"I guess you're a certified elevator technician," he says. "I always suspected that about you, Scully."

She smiles. Her teeth and her eyes glint in the glow from the streetlights. "I do have a certain reputation for being mechanically inclined," she says modestly.

He makes a slightly strangled noise that isn't quite a laugh or a groan. She smirks and takes his hand again, tracing each of his fingers. He's never been more glad to drive an automatic.

It seems to take forever to get to her building. Almost as soon as he's got the car in park she's leaning toward him again, and he meets her halfway this time. He runs his seat back as far on its runners as it will go, which is only a few notches more, but it gives him space to pull her onto his lap without her leaning against the horn. She twists to twine her arms around him. And then they're kissing again, and her mouth is hot and welcoming, and he can feel her muscles flexing under her dress where his arm is wrapped around her waist. She wriggles until she's straddling him, her knees digging into the sides of his thighs. He lets his hands slide down to her thighs, to the warm edges of the lace that keep slipping up and up. She presses against him and time disappears. He loses himself in the warmth of her, the physical reality of her, the softness and hardness of her. So much of their back and forth is intellectual that sometimes he forgets the physical, but not now, oh, not now, when she's balanced above him, both of them panting into each other's mouths. Her lips slide across his to kiss his cheek and his jaw. He tries to slow the heave of his chest. The windows of his car are fogging up.

"Thanks for dinner," she whispers into the hollow under his chin.

"I didn't even pay for it," he reminds her.

"Thanks," she says, nipping at the skin of his throat, "for being there. For having my back. For playing along."

"I'll play along as long as you want," he gasps.

"Good," she says, sitting up. "Because I'm afraid we will have to have dinner with them again."

"Inevitably," he agrees. "That's fine."

"I'm glad you understand," she says. She reaches across for something - her little bag - and then unlocks the door. The night air makes him shiver, even though it isn't cold. She tips herself off his lap and out of the car.

"Next time I'll wear something that's more conducive to you reaching second base," she says, leaning in to kiss him one last time. He makes it linger, tugging gently at her bottom lip with his teeth until she's the one gasping.

"I'll swing for the fences," he promises.

She smirks. "I'd expect nothing less."

He watches her go into her building and waits until the lights come on in her apartment. She waves briefly at the window and he shifts back into drive and points himself toward his own place. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the gratitude. Maybe she was taking out the fact that she and Ethan never had closure (and by closure he means breakup sex) on Mulder, which, for the record, he's fine with, even if it's probably mostly the fact that he's the closest warm body. Maybe she's a method actor too, gathering material for their next drama. He examines his deepest feelings and determines he's just happy to be involved, although he does kind of wish he owned a Joni Mitchell album now. He taps his fingers on his thigh as he drives, humming to himself.

He won't need visual aids tonight, not even the ones featuring petite redheads. He's definitely looking forward to their next dinner.

#the x-files fic #xfiles fic #the xfiles fic #msr #mulder x scully #fic: baseball metaphors #my fic

149 notes · View notes

linskywords · 6 years

Text

Stromecat Primer

This is for the anon who asked for one, which YES I will do this thing. I now have copious notes on these two which have to go somewhere. But also I’m relatively new to the pairing, so if people have corrections or things to add, have at it!

Also it’s super long (haha I might as well just have had you guys read my story draft) so I’m putting it after a cut.

OKAY SO.

Here are our boys:

(Dylan. This is his Wikipedia picture but just look at that face. Could not resist.)

(Alex. What a precious Tolkienian Dwarf.)

Okay. So those are our boys. Let’s have us some TIMELINE.

They start playing together in the fall of 2014, after Dylan goes second overall in the 2013 OHL draft to the Erie Otters and Alex signs with them undrafted the following spring. He did not get drafted because he is short and therefore underestimated. They tear it up that year, along with Connor McDavid, who’s playing on a line with them: Alex gets 104 points in 68 games--pretty great for going undrafted--and Dylan gets a whopping 129 points and wins the OHL scoring title.

So our boys are good! Everyone’s very impressed with Dylan. He’s drafted third overall in 2015, after Connor McDavid and Jack Eichel, and everyone’s very excited about the Stromes as the next big hockey family (older bro Ryan was drafted fifth overall to the Isles in 2011). The future is bright.

Dylan goes to Coyotes 2015 development camp. He goes to training camp. He plays in a couple of preseason games. But they don’t think he’s ready, so they send him back down to Erie. Pretty normal. Nothing to worry about.

2015-2016, Dylan’s the captain. Alex and Dylan play on a line together (without Connor this time) and have another great year where they are playing and also living together. Alex gets 101 points in 60 games and Dylan gets 111 in 56. They have a kind of rough World Juniors in there--Dylan plays for Team Canada and ends up in 6th place, and Alex plays for the U.S. and gets bronze but gets injured early on and only ends up scoring a single goal in the whole tournament. But, you know, good year with Erie. Future still bright.

(Look at this adorable pair. Ignore the facial hair on one of them who shall remain unspecified. Also this is presumably 2017 based on the letters on their jerseys but shhhh.)

However, Alex continues to be underestimated because he is short! He also had a bad World Juniors, so people are worried he might only be situationally good with the Otters. He’s passed over in the first round of the 2016 NHL draft and ends up being drafted 39th, by the Chicago Blackhawks, who have a history of drafted very competent undertall players. Also they didn’t have a first-round pick that year so I like to think they might have taken him either way.

Dylan and Alex both go to their respective 2016 development camps. And training camps. Alex plays in a preseason game with the Hawks but gets sent down--again, normal. Dylan plays the whole preseason with the Yotes and stays up, but they don’t really commit to him. They scratch him a bunch and only put him in for 7 games--this is either the limit of what they can play someone and still send them down to Juniors or close to it--over the course of a month and a half. Finally, on November 20, they send him back down to Erie, after 7 games played and...one point scored.

So at this point Dylan’s probably feeling pretty bad about himself. His former linemate Connor went straight to the NHL and is about to start his Hart-winning season. Dylan’s getting sent down for the second year straight.

But! 2016-2017 is an awesome year for the Otters. Alex is an A. Dylan gets made captain again at some point.* Dylan and Alex are living together again, and they’re playing together, and they freaking tear it up. They lead the Otters to a first-place finish in the O and win the J. Ross Robertson Cup (the highest award in the OHL). The guys on the team like to talk about that as the best night of their lives. They make it to the final game of the Memorial Cup, the championship for the whole CHL (which includes the OHL, the WHL, and the QMJHL), and lose narrowly to the Windsor Spitfires. However, Dylan gets a tournament record for 7 points in a single game, and they both have great seasons overall. Dylan gets 75 points in 35 games, and Alex gets 127 points in 63 games--more than two points per game for each of them--and Alex wins the Red Tilson Trophy for most outstanding player in the OHL. Also Dylan got to captain Canada’s World Juniors team, and many people (including me) were excited that he got that opportunity as a way to balance his failures thus far in the NHL, though Canada lost in a devastating final game against the U.S.

*If anyone knows when Dylan became captain again, let me know -- all I could figure out was sometime before the playoffs.

Here is Dylan with the Robertson Cup:

(Note the blond hair, which is an abomination they all inflicted upon themselves as a means to achieving playoff victory. You know, apparently it worked.)

Summer of 2017, Dylan and Alex go to their NHL development camps and training camps yet again. Everyone’s excited about Alex after the year he just had in the O. Everyone’s a little antsy about Dylan because good Lord it’s been two years since he was drafted third overall and is he ever going to be good enough for the NHL? (This was definitely me.)

Anyway the Hawks keep Alex up and start playing him. 2017-2018 is a rough year for the Hawks but a good one for Alex, and he surpasses all draft expectations and leads the team in goals (28). He also gets a commitment from the Hawks early in the year, in the form of his housing letter, and he gets a dog that spring named Ralph DeBrindog who is a shiba inu with his own Instagram account. Here are Alex and Ralph:

But things are not so happy in Arizona. Dylan gets to stay up past the 2017-2018 preseason but the Coyotes once again do not commit to him (no housing letter for him!). Dylan barely plays with the team before he gets sent down to the Roadrunners, the Coyotes’ AHL affiliate.

He does really well with the Roadrunners, so they bring him back to the NHL in late November (and he gets to play against Alex and the Hawks!). But he doesn’t do great there, so they send him back down for most of the spring, only bringing him up for the last few weeks of the season before sending him back to the AHL for the playoffs.

At this point, the future is looking pretty bleak for Dylan. Too old for Juniors, can’t hack it in the NHL despite his high draft number. 9 points in 21 games with the Coyotes in 2017-2018. People saying he was only good because of his good linemates, which, yeah, Connor and Alex are doing great other places. And sure, lots of people have good linemates and don’t put up numbers like Dylan did, but how else do you explain his failures in Arizona?

So the next season, 2018-2019, Alex is of course still playing with the Hawks. He’s doing even better than he did his rookie year, scoring more consistently. Dylan actually gets to play with the Coyotes, which, woohoo, but he’s putting up terrible numbers: 6 points in 20 games. Theories abound, but the upshot is clear--whatever made Dylan good in Juniors doesn’t translate to the NHL. The Coyotes wasted a draft pick.

BUT.

The Blackhawks evidently don’t think so, because on November 25, 2018, they trade Nick Schmaltz to the Coyotes in exchange for both Brendan Perlini and Dylan Strome. And they put the two of them on a line with Alex. And Dylan starts LIGHTING IT UP. As I write this, he’s at 46 points in 48 games with the Hawks. That’s some elite play there.

And did I mention he and Alex are living together again?

That’s right: apparently Alex was Dylan’s second call when he was traded, right after his parents (you can read more about his experience of the trade here, though you need a subscription). And then Dylan moved into his place.

...I can’t figure out how to embed video, but here is the two of them being adorable in the Road to the Winter Classic. Including Ralph, and also the memorable line, “I want to bodycheck you so bad right now.”

And here they are on the ice:

If that pose is not part of their engagement photos, it should be.

So basically, there are two possible explanations for why Dylan was playing so badly for so long in Arizona:

1) Arizona really sucks. (This should not be ruled out regardless of your opinion on #2.)

2) Dylan and Alex are soulmates and Dylan couldn’t play without him.

To be fair, #2 doesn’t explain why Alex was playing fine in Chicago before Dylan got there. But, you know, maybe he’s just less soulmate dependent than Dylan. Either way, everyone, including the two of them, is talking about the chemistry they have on the ice, and it’s clearly made a big different to Chicago’s season. And they get to play with their best friend again.

(Yes, they’ve both called each other that. It’s adorable.)

Some bonus info:

There is an Otter alum group text! It also includes Taylor & Darren Raddysh, Anthony Cirelli, and Warren Foegele. Dylan says they talk about the OHL championship all the time because it was the best night of their lives.

Dylan became the Otters’ all-time points leader by the end of his OHL career (seriously, makes no sense that he couldn’t play in Arizona, barring soulmate-based explanations)

After Dylan played Alex as a Coyote, he changed his Instagram photo to the two of them facing off.

Alex’s nicknames include Brinksy and the Cat. He’s fine with either but is less fond of Kitty. XD

They are legit eight inches apart. More, if 5′7″ is just Alex’s stats sheet height and not reality.

They are adorable best friends and roommates and linemates and need to be together forever.

And now, some pictures to close it out (starting with the Instagram icon one):

#stromecat primer #alex debrincat #dylan strome #the cutest

134 notes · View notes

ariadenassau · 5 years

Text

AMERICANA TASK 001

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE (OOC)

name: Ariadne Marie de Nassau

meaning of name: Ariadne is a Greek name, meaning “chaste” or “most holy”. Marie is a French version of Mary, and the meaning is debated, but can mean “sea of sorrow” or “rebellion”. Her last name, de Nassau, is literally “of Nassau” — she is a part of the House of Nassau.

aliases: Aria is her nickname from childhood and her preferred name.

place of birth: Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts.

race: Caucasian

nationality: Dual citizenship with France and the United States.

gender: Cis-female

sexuality: Mostly heterosexual

profession: A freelance journalist

eye color: Dark brown

hair style/color: Straight, chestnut brown hair to her shoulders, usually partly braided or in a plait.

height: 5’4” (164 cm)

clothing style: Simple, tailored, and clean-cut, Aria dresses in neutrals and soft materials. She's partial to creamy ivories and tans as opposed to bright colors, with the occasional baby pinks. The only jewelry she wears is a simple gold pendant and a sapphire ring, her birthstone.

best physical feature: Her eyes — both soft and piercing at the same time, the eyes are truly the window to Aria’s soul.

appearance: Very soft and muted, yet luxurious. Aria is from wealth, which shows, but she never flaunts it. She doesn’t wear much makeup and avoids showing too much skin. She looks professional and pretty, but not someone you’d turn around and look at twice in New York.

weight: 110 lbs (50 kg)

complexion: Fair during the winter, slightly tanner during the summer, as Aria darkens easily under the sun.

build: Slight and petite, she is quite skinny and small, without very many curves.

voice: Gentle, she rarely speaks over a shout. She doesn’t like to yell and upturns the ends of her sentences, as if she’s always a bit unsure of herself. She has a slight British/European accent from her upbringing abroad.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE (OOC)

fears: Spiders, roller-coasters, and disappointing her parents — although she is working on that last one,

guilty pleasure: The Bachelor. Aria will never admit to watching them, as she finds the entire idea trashy and degrading, but somehow, she turns it on every week when its airing with popcorn and a glass of wine.

biggest pet peeve: People who chew on their food loudly (bad table manners in general, really.)

ambition for the future: To find out who was behind Abby’s killing and write an entire expose on it.

one bad habit: Popping her pimples and skin blemishes.

one good habit: Washing the dishes immediately after she uses them.

one habit they can’t break: Her daily iced coffee (or two) from Starbucks.

one they’ve broken: Chewing on her nails.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS (OOC)

first thoughts waking up: “I need coffee.”

what they think about the most: Deep-set anxieties about her future and identity as an individual person.

what they think about before bed: All the errands and things she needs to accomplish tomorrow.

what they think their best quality is: Intelligence and writing ability.

what they think would completely break them: Finding love, and then losing it.

what they think was the best thing in their life: Discovering that she had a long-lost sister, and getting to reconnect with her.

what they think was the worst thing in their life: Losing that long-lost sister.

what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with them: Her childhood piano teacher smacking her fingers when she’d play the wrong notes.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER? (OOC)

single or group dates: Neither — Aria hates dates.

to be loved or respected: Respected.

beauty or brains: Brains.

dogs or cats: Dogs.

coffee or tea: Coffee.

showering in the day or night: Showering at night.

taking baths or taking showers: Taking showers.

tv or movies: Movies.

writing or reading: Writing.

platonic or romantic love: Platonic.

iced tea or lemonade: Iced tea.

ice cream or smoothies: Smoothies.

cupcakes or cake: Cupcakes.

beach or mountains: Mountains.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU? (IC)

lie: “Yes — it’s a way to get information that I want out of people. But I never lie to hurt anyone.”

believe in yourself: “I hope that I do. I think that I do. Maybe not.”

believe in love: “I think love is out there, but I don’t know how to find it or if it even exists for me.”

want someone: “Maybe.”

work so that you can support your hobbies or use your hobbies as a way of filling up the time you aren’t working: “Well — neither. Writing is both my work and my hobby. So I guess I lucked out.”

have something you’re reluctant to tell people: “My ‘royal’ status. It doesn’t mean anything.”

have an opinion about sex: “It’s something lovely that can make two people’s bonds stronger, but... I don’t know. I don’t think I have a strong opinion either way.”

have many friends: “I have many acquaintances from work and school, but close friends? Probably not.”

have as many friends as you want: “Yes. I’m a bit of a loner, you see.”

have something to make a scene in public about: “God, I hope not.”

have something to give your life for: “A hundred percent — my career, my writing, and figuring out what the hell happened to Abby.”

have major flaws: “I… get too attached to people. It goes along with having such little close friends. The friends I do have, I keep very close to my heart, which means when I lose them… well, my world falls apart.”

have something you pretend or try to care about: “Um — politics?”

have an image you project: “I think I try to come off as more self-confident than I am. I’m also very polite to most people, even if I don’t particularly think the person is deserving of it.”

have something you’re afraid of: “Isn’t everyone afraid of something?”

think you’re polite or rude: “Definitely polite.”

LAYER SIX: FAVORITES (IC)

favorite color: “Hm. I love baby pink, but I also love cream and ivory as well.”

favorite animal: “Polar bears. They’re so majestic!”

favorite movie: “Lost in Translation. It was such a beautifully shot movie!”

favorite game: “I don’t play very many games.”

sound: “Oh! — the sound of sunny winter mornings back when I was in school in Gstaad. You can hear it when you open a window; the chilly breeze, the sound of snow underneath people’s feet… I miss it.”

song: “It changes, really, but I can always listen to anything by Frank Sinatra.”

band: “Is it cliche if I say The Beatles?”

outfit: “Well, it certainly depends on the season, but for the fall and winter, I love my tan crepe pants, an ivory cashmere turtleneck, and my Acne leather boots.”

place: “Switzerland. I spent most of my years there, and the landscapes are so beautiful.”

memory: “I think the first time I met Abby — I was so nervous, and I just saw her, and we talked for hours in her room afterwards. Her parents made hot cocoa, and we just sat there, laughing, crying… it was so wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

person: “Abby. Or my mentor back at Harvard. She was the one who helped me curate my writing to what it is now.”

show: “I don’t watch much television.”

LAYER SEVEN: AGE (OOC/IC)

age: 29

date of birth: September 2nd, 1990

day your next birthday will be: Thursday.

zodiac sign: Virgo.

age you lost your virginity: 18.

does age matter: “Age certainly matters if you’re younger, but once you pass twenty-five or so… who am I to judge?”

LAYER EIGHT: PERSONALITY (OOC)

moral alignment: Neutral Good.

enneagram: 4 - The Individualist

four temperaments: Melancholic

tropes: the soiled dove, the lost soul, the contrite, the taciturn

archetypes: The Sage/Innocent

tarot cards: Temperance

compassion: yes.

empathy: yes.

creativity: yes.

mental flexibility: at times, no.

passion: yes, for the right things.

stamina: yes.

physical strength: not much.

battle skill: not at all.

agility: a bit.

strategy: she’s always planning for her next move, so yes.

teamwork: yes, but she needs to be the leader.

strength: so much emotional strength.

intelligence: yes.

wisdom: partly, but still trying to find it.

dexterity: none; Aria has a rare muscular dystrophy that degraded the muscles in her hands and fingers.

constitution: a hundred percent.

charisma: only on certain occasions; otherwise, Aria is quite aloof.

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE (IC)

i love: “... good food. Can you blame me?”

i feel: “... lost.”

i hide: “... my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts.”

i miss: “... Abby.”

i wish: “... that I could know where life is taking me.”

i hate: “... people who think they can take advantage of my kindness.”

LAYER TEN: FAMILY (IC)

relationships: “I had a boyfriend. It’s awkward to talk about really, but he dumped me. Quite an awkward situation.”

parents: “My father is Prince Jean Louis, sixteenth in line for the throne in Luxembourg. My mother is Princess Charlotte Julie, formerly Charlotte Julie Vanderbilt.”

siblings: “Just Abby, who was fathered by my father and another woman. She was given up for adoption when she was a baby, which is why I never met her until I grew up.”

children: “No — although, maybe in the future.”

favorite childhood memory: “Oh — my childhood wasn’t that fun. But I guess, early on, my parents did take me out on trips on the boat in lakes in the South of France. Those were always nice.”

favorite childhood toy: “My stuffed bunny Juliette. I still have her.”

embarrassing story: “I fell asleep once in a bowl of yogurt in class. I was so tired staying up studying for an exam, that during it, I was eating my breakfast, and just… fell asleep.”

favorite family member: “Abby. I’m not very close to my parents, or anyone from my family, really.”

#americanatask001 #( there are things no one knows but she keeps them close to her heart | about. )

3 notes · View notes

trayvonfleary-blog · 6 years

Text

General Assembly Software Engineering Immersive

Hello All, instead of posting my normal content relating to cars and/or trucks, I will be taking a deeper dive into my daily life, particularly regarding the software engineering immersive program that I am currently undergoing, which is a technology bootcamp. For a couple of months, I am going to sway away from discussing different sectors within the automotive industry while I focus strictly on technology, but automotive is not going anywhere so stay tuned for big announcements following;)

What Is It?

Currently I’m completing General Assembly’s Software Development Immersive, which is a “12 week award-winning program that has expert instructors and career coaches, and connect graduates with 19k+ hiring partners to get them jobs at A-list companies.” It is slated as your best course for career transformation. The company boats 9,000+ hires, as it states that they are the leader in placing their grads into high-growth, and high-pay tech jobs. Yes, this is all accomplished within 12 weeks. I’m sure you’re asking, “Are these jobs guaranteed?” Of course not, but the company is quite confident. Continue reading as to “why?” after this quick infographic below illustrating what you can expect from this program.

Im currently entering into my 5th week of this program. On our first day, a General Assembly employee bursts in our classroom, after getting another graduate hired, and asked, “Did you guys here about our last cohort?”, which had ended a couple of months prior. We had no clue what she was referring to but then she claims that their last cohort had a 93%+ hire rate. Impressive right. Thats a way to bring some motivation if you had any doubts before. Who knows if this was the truth, but they were all very excited and I have personally heard from some earlier attendees about the jobs that they received after the course and some even during the last week or 2 of the course ending. Before this starts sounding like a fantasy world where you can spend the 3 months and someone else can spend 4-5 years getting a computer science degree and you both end up with the same job (very possible), I’m going to break things down a bit.

Tuition Options?

First, starting with cost, I feel that the tuition share agreement is the best payment option and allows many people who can’t afford it to have a chance at something that can be life changing. It is not yet available in all states, but it’s a great option if you are not trying to pay $14k(approximate tuition cost) out of pocket and upfront(or in a few payments). Focusing on the $0 upfront income share agreement, it is structured very fair in my opinion. You are only required to pay an upfront $250 deposit until you land a software engineering job (ex: web development, full stack, etc) and depending on your location, entry level is probably hovering around $60k and above.

So if you don’t land a job, you are not at the hands of a huge loan that you cannot afford and most importantly, you’re not out of $14k+ that many pay to take the program. If you have additional experience in UX/UI design, and/or other skills for that matter, your pay can be a lot higher.

Income Share Agreement?

As far as General Assembly not offering the income share agreement not being offered in all states, specifically New York at the moment, I believe that it has to do with the amount of jobs being offered and the amount that are vacant. Here in the Greater Atlanta Area, the tech scene is taking on massive growth along with an abundant amount tech jobs that have yet to be filled. Whether it’s startups, fintech companies, or larger corporations, there is a massive demand for tech jobs in many industries here. I’m not sure of the availability in other cities and states in respective to the amount of tech workers seeking employment.

Adding to the tuition share agreement option, applicants are also subject to a more strict batch of pre course work, along with an evaluation to see if you are prepared and can be successful at this program. My pre course work (estimated to take 40 hours if you have prior knowledge) took me at least 60+ hours, and thats literally. Going through the pre course work, I decided to take notes and continue to reference them even when the program started so that I could truly retain the information, just as I would with another language until I could demonstrate it effortlessly.

Negatives?

The only negative to this income share agreement is that the total amount paid for the course increases to approximately $20,000, instead of the $14,000 that you could sign up for up front after getting accepted. Although this $20,000 will be paid for over a multiple of years (small monthly payments ranging from $300-$800 per month), depending on how much income you are making per year with the lower end being around the $50k end and the upper being $100k+ end.

That is where the trade off comes in, as you decide whether you would want to pay $14k up front or $20k over a multiple of 3-5 years. Simply put, both options come with what some will see as a hefty price but when compared to the average college tuition for 3-5 years, it is significantly less. So is it worth it? My simple answer: Yes, but its not for everyone and also depends on how much time you willing to dedicate!

What does it take?

Personally, as I’m approaching week 5 in the 12 week program, I would say that it is well worth it. This may not be the same for everyone else. There are so many factors that go into this decision and realizing if it is worth it for you or not. First off, the program is 12 weeks long and runs on a very strict schedule, from Monday – Friday (9am-5pm). All of my cohort(class) had to quit their jobs, and/or whatever else they were doing including school, etc. This IS NOT just a 9-5 job for three months. Ample time is required outside of class for this program to be worth it. You get what you give. Currently, it is very normal for me and my “codemates” to spend another 20-40+hours outside of class per week, on top of our current 9-5 days.

Being Prepared?

Handling this amount of work in such a short period of time is life changing mentally, physically, socially, and financially of course. Savings is required as it’s almost impossible to take on a full time job during this time. Knowing how to handle stress and pressure is also very important, as there will be a lot of ups and downs during the course. Another importance is your family and support. Your time will be very limited during this time, so just be prepared to be a bit disconnected during this time.

For me, personally, I had no real coding experience before starting the pre work for this program, but doing a lot of studying in the year prior to signing up for the program certainly helped with knowing different technologies and frameworks, and what they were used for. Regardless, free time gets pretty scarce during this time of development. It is extremely tough to stay consistent with a certain level of focus each and every day in this program, as it’s basically like learning a new language. So, being prepared is very critical.

The Daily Grind?

Each and every day has a structured schedule that we are given at the beginning of the cohort. The days normally start with lecture, or a quick meeting if it’s project week. Throughout the day, we go through enormous amounts of material, but it’s never just a lecture. Practice, practice, and more practice! Daily learning on how to structure, develop, and implement responsive webpages and applications from the ground up. This is where General Assembly separates itself from just trying to read and learn to code online, or even while pursuing a 4 year computer science degree while spending meaningless time on classes and material that you don’t need or ever use again.

As the saying goes, if you want to learn Chinese, the fastest way is to get dropped directly into the middle of China! This is the exact same. You’re being thrown right into the programming fire everyday, but in a good way. All of the new information learned is always directly followed by practice, as you jump right into the CLI(command line interface) and your IDE(integrated development environment). HTML, and CSS fly by within the first couple of days and then you will be jumping directly into Javascript. After that, you are off and running, and thats when the real challenge starts and the bulk of the course begins.

Is It Really Worth It?

All in all, I think it is definitely worth it if you have a passion to work in tech, whether to create your dream company or to work for another. This is the case, but this immersive program is not something that you spend a little time on and make it into a small side gig. If that’s what you’re looking for, then programming may not be ideal for you. It takes intense focus and dedication to be successful in the field. One mistake can crash an entire program, or maybe even delete an entire database and cause the company to crash. What if someone deleted the entire database of Uber drivers because they told the computer an incorrect command? Of course this would not happen, as their infrastructure has too much sophistication for that to happen, but the company would literally be out of operations for who knows how long and this would cause the end of one of the biggest companies that the world has ever seen.

If you’re not passionate about it, and that goes for anything in life, then you shouldn’t waste your time and/or money. It is also only worth it if you have time. This point needs to be emphasized. For example: If you have a family and can’t afford to quit your full time job, this is not a good idea. I’ve found that many who go through these programs don’t have many responsibilities at the moment, or they have wonderful supporters around them who help them throughout the duration. The immersive is very time consuming, and some may find it easier than others, but the amount of time that has to be put in is undeniable.

In a quick rundown, within 5 weeks, I have learned HTML, CSS, Javascript/jQuery, started creating our own servers, learning node, express, mongoDB, certain data structures and science, and so much more underlying information. This is not everything, and has taken massive work outside of class along with in class work and lecture. Just 5 weeks ago, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Why Would You Put Yourself Through Such a Daunting Task?

For me, taking this leap was about being creative and bringing my ideas to life, as I push to provide immense value to this world for decades to come. My friends have always told me that I have all of the ideas, but to me they meant nothing if I could never bring them to life. I avoided obtaining these skills for the simple reason of believing that they were too time consuming, or that it was too old to start now, or simply because of me believing that I didn’t belong in that time of environment (the common imposture syndrome). Whether you’re a cook, waitress, sales associate, truck driver, garbage truck operator or whatever it may be, you can be successful not only in this program, but in this career field as a whole.

All of these technologies are fairly new, relative to our society, and if you spend 10+ hours a day on something while someone else maybe spends a hour every few days, you will be amazed at how far you can go. If you are thinking of a career change, or simply love the tech field and need this sort of structure to learn, I will highly advise taking General Assembly’s Software Engineering Immersive if time and your situation persists. You will also hear the phrases “Web Developer”, “Full Stack Developer”, etc associated with software engineering as a lot of the knowledge intertwines.

Youtube Series Update?

Last but NOT LEAST, stay tuned as this will be just an intro to these blog and content posts regarding my Software Development journey. I aim to produce this content for the remaining 7-8 weeks in the course, while also producing content beyond the program as I work on different projects and aim to connect with like minded people in the industry. In the upcoming posts, I will link a youtube video that goes into depth about my particular General Assembly Immersive location, in the Greater Atlanta Area. Stay tuned, and be blessed!

#code #tech #developer #software #engineering #fullstack #webdev #api #node #react #javascript #vscode #reactnative #mongo #xcode #apple #android #html #css #firebase #ruby #python #frontend #backend

8 notes · View notes