#that's all I could fit really but there are more colors 😂

[umberandmochaagate]

2022's Rainbow Fits

And some bonuses 😌

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

me reading an article of what's the best weave for bedsheets while also fully knowing how i slept on the default 100% poly dorm sheets for 4+yrs

[astrologylunadream]

When will I find love?💗⏳🌙 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 This time I bring you a lovely reading for a very lovely person!♡👆 hope you find your message🌸

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If something doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the love you long for, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸💞

Pile 1⏰

Pile 2☎️

Pile 3☕

Pile 4🌹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕🍰⏳

Pile 1⏰

Sign energy: Close, 9th house, Resist, Pisces, Ring, 9th house, Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius, 4th house, 🕊📚💤💆‍♂️

🌙Your energy: You are more reversed so to speak, you have been dreaming of the perfect relationship. I'm hearing enchanted "I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss" yes that's you😂💗 You are a hopeless romantic and you may be fascinated in many cultures and religions. You could be very smart even if you don't think so, you are a natural problem solver. You don't like conflict or bad vibes either! You may be more proper or well mannered. You are just so delicate and sweet-💗💗💗 You may fantasize about an outstanding love story with many plot twists and adventures, you're really hoping and searching for a message (omg here it is! :D) and you're waiting for devine timing to set in place. You may feel like you will be single forever but that's not the case💕 You could be very fun and artistic, you love fashion and might really be into vintage styles. You want a partner to be familiar and comfortable with, someone who is witty and romantic. All you want is to be held😩💗 You're such a pretty soul I swear. You may be into pinterest or spend a lot of time online, you could look at aesthetic photos and just spend a lot of time on your phone lol. You love learning and you really want to search for love, you are willing to go on a crazy adventure just to find it... your dream romance!☁️💌 You love dreaming and fantasizing a lot too, you want someone to hug and touch.

⏳When will you find love: Us, Face, Truth, Age, Right, Uranus, Libra, Venus, 8th house, Saturn, 🦊🚨🗯💧 Alright this is interesting.⭐ Some of you are most likely younger but not all, I'm seeing teens to early twenties, but that might not necessarily be the case I just see someone who is very youthful and you might not have many experiences with love yet!💓 I feel like my lovely pile 1 you're in the dreaming phase where you really want a partner and wonder what it's like to be in a commited relationship so for you, you're going to find love when you're ready to commit. So much will have changed by the time you find your person, like you might not even be the same person I think your ideas and views on love may be very different when this happens. You will most likely be very mature even, and I can see for some of you this could be a time where you have overcome your daydreaming phase you know, your fantasies about romance. You might have changed the way you give and receive love. Now this could be good or bad but I'm seeing good for most of you because you could've had a habit of overlooking red flags or toxic behavior due to your kindness or seeing things through rose colored lenses, you might have lacked realistic views on love so I feel like when you actually find love this won't be a problem for you anymore, you would have overcome this.✊💗 This will definitely be a more mature time in your life where you have learned a lot and you have so much control over yourself and what you choose to put your energy into~🌙 I'm getting with the 8th house energy along with Saturn energy, you may find love in a most subtle most unusual way. You won't be very aware that you have found love until your future someone is open about it, this could take time as your person might need to make their decision and honestly commit to you.💌🔗

💖Your future lover's energy: Kitty, Night, Mindfulness, Doll, At last, Sagittarius, Sun, Neptune, Cancer, Libra, 🦚♓♉🦢 Omg you guys your person is so sweet🥺💗 They have a big heart and they are very honest with you. This is such a fun and adorable person I swear like they're such a keeper.😫They could be a sagittarius or pisces, any of the signs cancer, libra, taurus.😇 They make you smile so much and they may love cats or resemble such creatures~ They have an unreal or almost doll-like appearance. This is a very loyal person their energy is so trusting and kind, they treat you so well and take care of you, they are so delicate with you from the way they speak to the way they touch you💗💗 They could be artistic or a dreamer too and when you two are finally together they will just feel so complete like "finally I found the one!"🙏😍 They're also a hopeless romantic type for sure even if they don't seem that way on the surface omg they crave romance. They really want to impress you and they always remember the little things!! Like they're so quick to remember that expensive item you like and buy it for you as a romantic gift♡ Did I mention they love giving you gifts? Like they're so stable too so the time you find love with this person you are in a mature state of mind so are they like you guys will be on the same page. They will have a well paying job and very reliable, and omg they're the type to come over just so you two can cuddle.🥰😭 They make things so romantic without getting boring, You guys will have such a warm feeling when you two are together.💐 They are your perfect partner, you just fit together!💗

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the clock emoji~⏰ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2☎️

Sign energy: Match, Sugar, Soul, Connection, First, Taurus, Sagittarius, Gemini, 3rd house, 8th house, 🤭🛩🙄😘

🌙Your energy: Oh you're so cool okay so some of you may be a taurus rising/taurus in the 1st house or maybe you desire these traits in a partner. You want someone you can really connect with on the deepest levels, you want a loyal companion and fun conversations!🪂 You could be very social and you like adventure, many people look up to you because you're so inspiring⭐ You could be a foodie or love sweets too haha most of you might have taurus in your chart~ You have a great sense of humor and you like being sarcastic sometimes, your laugh is so addicting😳🌈 People describe you as fun and chill. You like memes and funny videos. You might be really into other cultures and you may enjoy listening to music from different countries. You have a diverse interest in everything and you just have this super sweet nature about you. You might kiss your besties a lot and you love having fun with people.😆 You really want someone who complements you well, like someone who has the qualities you want. You could have sagittarius/gemini placements aswell, also scorpio for some of you. I wanna be friends with pile 2😂💫

⏳When will you find love: Lover, Siren, Surface, Violence, Above, 10th house, 4th house, 7th house, Venus, 👻🙆‍♀️🛩🧸 My wonderful pile 2 you're gonna find love when you have overcome so much omg, this is going to be a time where you feel so empowered and strong.✊💫 Some of you may have finally broken off from a hurtful relationship, someone who hasn't been out for your best interest. Pile 2 you guys may still be healing from that but just know that during this time where you find love, you will have recovered from past experiences that were causing you pain. Anything that's affecting you currently, you will have made it out of all that and you're feeling so free because things and people just don't affect you like they used to during this period when you find love pile 2 this is a wonderful sign of healing.⭐ You will be very successful at the time and so much progress will be made, you will be above toxic behavior above bad cycles that weren't serving you. That's why during this time you will be open arms to receiving healthy love and relationships, so chances are this will be a very important time for my pile 2's. You will be focusing on self care and in turn this will attract so much good energy and people toward you, your self is most important after all.💗

💖Your future lover's energy: Myth, Song, South node, Street, Winter, Eros, Earth, 5th house, Vertex, Jupiter, 🌧🥊🙅‍♀️🤔 Alright lovely pile 2 your person is going to make you forget about your worries, this us someone who will sweep you off your feet and they just have so much to offer you😍 Sagittarius and Leo placements can be found, lots of fire and earth energy. Could be more masculine energy for some of you. Your future someone is so attractive and they may be like a certain type of person you thought didn't exist like "No that's not possible people just aren't like that in real life" that's what you thought at first but when you meet this person you will be so surprised that like there are people like this omg they exist😭💖 They go above and beyond for you like, they're almost over the top with their love for you lol💐🌹🎁🛍🤗 I'm talking thoughtful gifts, romantic gestures, surprises and hella smooth like they know just what to say to makes you blush.😘 Your future lover could be born in winter (january, february, march) or that season could he significant for this connection. They are really good at impressing you like almost too good it always so crazy how good they are to you. They could be creative or into music, they are the type to make you a playlist that reminds them of you <3 I'm not kidding like be prepared for a whirlwind romance omg😂❤ They could wear street style clothing or be into cool fashion, they like to experiment with their look. You guys will have so much fun together and this is someone you will not be able to forget~💫

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the telephone emoji~☎️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading⭐

Pile 3☕

Sign energy: Lost in translation, Kiss, Chains, First impression, Water, Vertex, Fire, 8th house, Moon, 5th house, 🍭😍🟦💘

🌙Your energy: You have a very mysterious aura to you my pile 3's. Let's see I feel like you have a lot of emotions, you are more sensitive so to speak. I'm getting a soft vibe from you guys like you're very sweet and kind but also I feel like you're secretly really hot lol😂 Some of you could be Leo's, Scorpio's or Cancer's any of those <3 You might get lost in your own head and thoughts sometimes and it gets really hard to think straight. You have an intense desire for love and it means a lot to you, you don't want to be hurt.🤚 I'm sensing that for some you have been in a long term situationship or a one sided crush on someone, there's definitely someone on pile 3's mind already.🤭💗 Ahh okay you guys are really hoping you've already found love/the person you're looking for. You fantasize about a deeply romantic and intense partner. Some of you like the color blue, navy and could have heavy water energy. You like sweets and desserts, some of you could be foodies <3 When you're in love you're all in💞 lovestruck type for sure~ Valentines day is your jam. You guys are idealists and you have so many goals you want to achieve, you are interested in so many wonderful things too. You may really gravitate towards creative hobbies or supernatural things like spirits and the occult.🕯

⏳When will you find love: Blind, December, Unseen, Network, Ladder, Aries, Aquarius, 8th house, 10th house, 2nd house, 🥰💆‍♂️🧛‍♀️🎯 Omg so you guys are gonna find love when things get REAL lol you're going to be so successful during this time and this could be really soon omg like almost 3 months from now even.🙉💗 Ahh I'm so excited okay so you might find love when you start something, something BIG. I mean like a business or new job, for many of you I see social media fame and getting lots of money from that. (youtube channel, blog, online business, ect.💼💸) You are gonna be in your boss b*tch phase when you finally find love you guys.👏 I can see success in practically anything for my lovely pile 3 so be ready!! There might be something you've been working on like a project or hobby just something you have been building for some time now and this is gonna pay off so much during this time⭐ I see so much recognition for you guys and that's why you're gonna find love so easily omg this could happen very quickly too🚀 For some of you your future someone might be a secret admirer of you, someone you don't know yet when you achieve this success. Just know you will be on the right track you know exactly where you're going and how to get there so this person is going to be so ready to come into your life because they see you working so hard and they just really wanna be there for you like this is your moment to shine~☀️ Just know everyone will be watching you lol the tea is real☕ It's also likely that you will have many admirers when you find love.

💖Your future lover's energy: Reach out, Locked, Art, Collarbone, Actor, Sagittarius, Leo, Uranus, 12th house, 1st house, ♒🥴🌧🔦 Ooh your person is will be so into you😍 They have this really magnetic look about them that just pulls you in, they're outgoing but so creative and dreamy💘 They have this sparkle in their eyes and everyone really loves them. They are definitely gonna come to you first, that's why you won't realize when you find love right away until they step forward and get things moving between you two~😘 Your future love will have beautiful hair and a great smile that's so warm and god you just start fantasizing about it every time you think of them when this happens lol you will be so hooked on this person, like you can't even control it they're just so addictive to you. Also you are definitely coming together with this person when you are involved with online activities like it could be your job or maybe you're online famous you might even have a channel. The flashlight is giving me spotlight energy so like you will be in the spotlight maybe this person is also internet famous or works online, that could be how you two met. Your future love will be in the arts, think painter, actor/actress, heavy artist energy for them. They are probably known online for their artistic abilities, just know you have this person's heart like they're not going anywhere lol😂💫 They want you to pay attention to them and praise them because they will see you as this amazing person and they really want your validation aww. Could be an aquarius rising, this person is very unique and has such a special vibe about them.

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the tea emoji~☕ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗💕

Pile 4🌹

Sign energy: Soulmates, Children, Ankles, Tears, 4th house, Lilith, Jupiter, 10th house, Juno, Venus, 🍂🎆😒💙

🌙Your energy: I'm getting such an attractive vibe from this pile, like can I just say how pretty you are??😂😍 You have this gracefulness about you so delicate like a flower, you might have had people try to pick your petals though. It's like when a person picks a flower just because of it's beauty but they rip it from the ground😥 You wish others would ask you how you feel sometimes because you just want comfort and care.💓 You may have grown up with a bad experience with men or authority in your life. Your family life could have been hard for you, and it could have set your ideas of love and partnerships. You may be close to your mother or one of your parents is distant, you really just want love and affection but you were never used to receiving it.😭💗 You have a feminine energy (even if male) something about you is so aesthetically pleasing. You're emotional and you could be doing some shadow work right now, you are a spiritual person and you don't like when people take advantage of your kindness. Some of you may be born in the fall and could have sagittarius placements as well as pisces, cancer, libra and taurus(so beautiful)💓 Jupiter or Venus could be your dominant planet. My lovely pile 4 you have such delicate hearts so take care of them🩹

⏳When will you find love: Explosion, Money, Force, Soft spot, Inner thoughts, 5th house, Fire, South node, North node, Uranus, 🍷🎲💄🤐 Oml you guys things are going to be so fun when you find love!!! I'm getting like a sudden transformation for some of you during this time but nothing really says that it's just what I'm feeling for you guys. So you might be doing very creative hobbies during this time and omg you could be making things (lol I mean making money🤑). Now I feel like money isn't the reason for doing this hobby but it's just an after effect for sure like you'll be shocked at how sudden the money comes rolling in for you haha😂 For some of you finding love could be a result of looking inward within yourself, this could be self love🥺💗 You might have had trouble loving yourselves all this time but when you find love this will all change, you will feel so pretty and inspiring for yourself🙏😭 You may be caught up in a love affair with someone during this time and this could force you to think about your future, past and finances as well as your deepest self reflection. However this love manifests for you, there won't be a choice about it lol this love will force you to keep going and don't look back. You will be more of a risk taker then ever before and this could be with money. Oohhh for some of you I'm getting heavy casino vibes, you guys might find love casino or you might start gambling a little more in the future when you find love.🎲🍷❤

💖Your future love's energy: 1st house, Show, Special, Chains, My everything, Mercury, 5th house, 4th house, 2nd house, Water, 🐍🎀😁😴 My lovely pile 4 this is getting so good lemme just tell you.😍 Your person is a natural born star omg they're so special! You can't take your eyes off them so be prepared to not blink lol 👁👄👁 This is you when you see them it's just like wow who is they??? Haha you will he head over heels for them literally I also am getting either you or them may wear heels, this could be for fashion purposes and did I mention you guys this person will be such a fashionista oml. They will wear those glasses and chain necklaces all the good stuff🕶📿👞 They are so flirty but like you won't be able to tell if it's just their personality or if it's with you, but it will become SO obvious it's you omg pile 4🤭❤ Your future love is so attractive like they're really good looking if you're curious about that...💅 They have a very special appearance and they dress up real nice😳 They're gonna be all over you pile 4 get ready for physical affection they will always wanna have their hand on your shoulder haha because they think you're so pretty.🔥 Also this person has a really attractive voice, they could easily be a singer or voice actor with their range. Lol they might be the kind that wants you to "own" them and they'll do anything you ask. And they aren't cheap either like, they've got money and they wanna spoil you so bad💸 They wanna hug you tight and make you forget about everything and just have fun together. They're so comforting and healing for you because they're going to give you the romantic experience you thought would be painful.😭🩹🎀 They're literally gonna tell you "don't worry baby everything's okay"💋 The type to give you roses because they want you to think they're special and raise your standards for a romantic partner.🌹 My lovely pile 4 how does it feel being so loved😍🤩🥰

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the rose emoji~🌹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[violetsiren90]

The Light of Your Eyes

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: one-shot; friends to lovers; smut and fluff; hurt/comfort

Summary: Can the gentle touch of an unexpected pair of hands on your body heal the wounds of your soul?

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, dni), age gap romance (consenting adults); mentions of break-up and unhealthy past relationship dynamics; depression and anxiety symptoms (mild); MC has self esteem struggles, some are body-image related; the ex was low-key emotionally abusive tbh 😒; depictions of alcohol consumption (no drunkenness); depictions of food and eating (MC has a moment of negative thought patterns in regards to food consumption); gaming/watching movies; emotional breakdowns; kissing (so much kissing, guys); Fluffy fluffy FLUFF 💕; making out; interrupted shenanigans; cuddling; shirtless Binnie 👀; strong and gentle Binnie 🥺💘 ; working through FEELINGS 😅 ; breast play; nudity; oral sex (f. receiving); feedbag position; confessions and new beginnings.

Word Count: ~9300

Author's Note: Well, here it is - my first Binnie fic! I wanted to make it as sweet and sexy as he is...which, I know, is impossible, so I gave it my best shot! Hopefully, it's something worthy of his face-claim. I'm not going to make any judgements as to whether I feel it fits the bill, but rather like the man himself, tell you to be the judge of your own opinions! Jutdae!! 😂💗 But in all seriousness, if you decide to read this story, thank you! I hope it brings you something warm and fuzzy!

*The poem at the beginning is an original, and is what inspired this story!

Acknowledgements: I cannot thank @moni-logues enough for beta reading this for me, and for all her hype and humor and general human decency - this story wouldn't be what it is without her! 💖

As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

    

the

Bright color of my laughter and the

Melody of the curve of my hips and the

Soft velvet of my irises

     seemed

To have taken their first breath,

Opening gently - like flowers perfuming my soul

- When bathed in the light of your eyes.

"Changbin? What are you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same question," he says with a little smirk, whipping a dish towel over his shoulder as he shuffles back to let you in.

     Fair enough, you suppose. You are showing up without notice. Not that you ever need to give his sister any notice - as your best friend, there's a key with all the others in your purse that unlocks the door you're closing behind you. You wouldn't have even knocked had his car not been parked in the driveway.

     "Where's Nari?" you ask, glancing at the gaming console hooked up to the massive flat-screen, and a bullet blender cup half filled with something thick, pale and probably protein-packed sitting on the coffee table.

     "She went out of town for the weekend," he calls, heading back toward the dining area. "Last minute work thing." 

     Damn. 

     Your apartment is boring and barren and lonely. You wanted to hang out. You've been coming around more than usual – almost as often as when you were in grad school together. But Nari had her own life, you understood. You had your own life too.

     And then three months ago, on New Years Eve, your long-term boyfriend called it quits. It wasn't as if you were heartbroken. Not really. The relationship had been sick and slowly dying. But returning to a life lived in solitude was proving a difficult adjustment – especially navigating the new and constant stillness which left you the mental space and dexterity to run up against the shadows of wounds unhealed. And you didn't feel like growing into your EQ. You felt like distracting yourself. So you ended up at your bestie's place more often than not, these days.

     You sigh, trailing toward the kitchen. You won't stay long - if her younger brother is house sitting, he'll probably have people coming over. It's Friday night, after all, and he's twenty-four years young.

    The sound of running water, and music from a little speaker playing a catchy beat laced with fast-paced rap draws you into the warmly-lit, open kitchen. You recognize the voice on the track.

     "This new?" you ask, dropping your bag on a barstool and rounding the island to where Changbin is up to his elbows in suds at the sink. He's in a black band tee and bright blue joggers, his curly dark hair unstyled.

    He looks over his shoulder and nods.

    "What do you think? Wait, no, lemme start it over..."

     You smile to yourself as he hastily dries his hands and whips out his phone, pulling the track back to the beginning. He braces himself against the edge of the sink, gnawing on his bottom lip as he bobs his head with the lyrical punches and runs. 

     You smile to yourself, leaning your back against the counter beside him.

     "This is good, Bin," you nod earnestly. 

     "Yeah?" he asks, returning to his soapy task.

     "It really is. Hyunjin's pretty damn fast. Not as fast as you, but who is?" 

You grin, bumping your hip into his side.

     He smirks down into the bubbles.

     He's wanted to make music for as long as you've known him, and even fifteen years ago he could spit out a diss track that would have you wetting yourself laughing. He and his buddy, Hyunjin, met in high school and started messing around with music senior year. They committed to the dream, and both worked full-time gigs - Hyunjin as a tattoo artist and Changbin as a personal trainer - while promoting their artistry in their spare time. Production was a tough road to take when they were counting on nothing but raw talent and guts, but you'd always been an unflinching supporter.

     "We've got a gig next Saturday...at The Eight Ball," he remarks, looking over at you as a proud smile presses a tiny dimple into his bread cheek.

     "What?!" you squeal, turning to smack him on the arm. "Dude, that's fantastic! Oh my god, congratulations!"

     "Thanks, and ouch!" he replies, rubbing his arm with a pout that you ignore. It couldn't possibly have hurt him, not with those biceps.

     He moves to the fridge, a grin still plastered on his face.

     "You should come!" he urges over his shoulder as he appraises his sister's stash before grabbing an energy drink. "I know the boyfriend isn't into rap, but you could come with Nari..."

     You scoff softly.

     "Doesn't really matter what he likes anymore," you mumble bitterly.

     Changbin freezes as he's about to crack open the beverage in his hand.

     "Wait, what? Did you guys...is that over?"

     You purse your lips and nod. Changbin looks completely taken off guard in a way that surprises you. 

“When did that happen?”

You reach back to clutch at the cold tile of the countertop.

“Beginning of the year.”

He scratches his head.

“Nari didn’t…why didn’t you say something?”

You shrug, your eyes falling. For reasons you'd never considered, you’d rarely brought your ex around or even brought him up to Changbin. 

He turns to the still open fridge and swaps out his energy drink for two beers, opening both and sliding one across the island between you.

     "How you holding up?" he asks in earnest concern, a little furrow appearing between his dark brows.

     You want to tell him that you're fine - it's what you've been telling everyone else - but from the way he holds your gaze before letting his eyes search your face, he's looking for a real answer. You pull your lip between your teeth. You're not ready to form the words that spell the truth. He sees it.

    "Ah," he waves dismissively, "Fuck that guy. You're too good for him anyway. What an idiot."

      You blink, a little smirk tugging at your lips.

     "You don't have to hate on him just because we're-"

     "I'm hating on him because I hate him," he stares at you unflinchingly, taking another swig of his beer. "He wasn't good to you, didn't make you happy. I'm glad he's gone. Seriously, fuck him."

     You didn't expect that sort of reaction out of Changbin. Not that you expected anything, but the strong, certain tone he took in regards to your ex's unworthiness has a tiny little warmth glowing in your chest. It was like him to feel strongly and take a stand, but to have his conviction aimed at you...

     "Thanks, Bin," you murmur softly, hiding your smile behind your beer.

     The young man nods, and his lips part as if to speak when his phone buzzes in his pocket. As he answers the call - clearly, from the nature of his greeting, one of his buddies - you're reminded that you’re trespassing on his Friday night. Draining your beer, you grab your bag and slip out of the kitchen. 

     You huff a little sigh as you pull on your shoes, lingering listlessly for a moment before pulling open the door. The thought of going home has your stomach churning. You can't go back and be alone there. 

You can't.

     You have to.

     How pathetic could you possibly get? you consider sickly, staring out into the darkness. Your self-loathing and mounting anxiety battle for dominance as you will yourself to take the step over the threshold that will carry you to your car…

     Click.

     The door swishes shut, and you blink in confusion before you note a bulky arm stretched over your shoulder, hand pressed to the wooden frame below the peephole.

     You turn into Changbin's frame and he jostles backwards, hand dropping to your shoulder.

     "Where do you think you're going?" he asks, a little smirk playing on his lips.

     You try to get your bearings as you resurface from the flash flood of inner turmoil, blinking up at him in confusion.

     "Uuhh...home?" you answer, jerking a thumb back toward your intended exit.

     Changbin shakes his head. 

     "You just got here."

     "Well...I came to see Nari but she's gone, so..." 

     When the faintest shadow of hurt seems to flicker over his features at your words, you stammer to clarify.

     "Bin, it's Friday, I- you've got plans, right? I don't want to be in the way...Like, it's really nice seeing you don't get me wrong, but, it would suck to have one of your sister's random friends underfoot if you're...if..."

     You trail off. He's watching you in amusement now, arms crossed and bottom lip pulled between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked just a little higher than the other.

     "What?" you press him, now a bit self-conscious at your rambling and still on edge from the surging anxiety of moments ago. 

     Damn, what was with you? You'd been a mess lately, and now you couldn't even get your words out with Nari's kid brother?

     "I do have plans."

     Changbin's words interrupt your muddled self-assessment. You glance up at him.

     What? Okay, that's what you had been trying to...

     "I plan to kick your ass at Super Smash Bros Brawl," he quips, turning to round the couch and settle in front of it before reaching for the blue controller discarded on the coffee table.

     Huh?

     You watch him start up the game and move through selections. Shuffling toward the back of the couch, you place your hands on it. He wants to hang out? Now that he found out you'd been dumped. Nari's away, so he's falling into stride, you think to yourself. You sigh. You should be grateful. Instead, you feel like a burden.

     "Um, Bin..." you murmur, "You don't have to do this..."

     "Do what?" he asks without looking back. "I'm not going easy on you, if that's what you mean. And I'm using Kirby - nonnegotiable."

     Your heart melts a little as your eyes rest on him. He's always been a good guy, and it was like him to do this sort of thing - look out for someone when they were feeling low. Leaving simply because you don't feel worthy of his care and attention risks hurting him more than you.

     You slowly slip out of your shoes and cross into the living room, retrieving a red controller from atop the console before sinking onto the carpet beside him. You toggle through your choices before landing on Link. Changbin glances over at you disparagingly. 

     "Link sucks."

     "Kirby sucks."

     "Hey!" Changbin, practically shouts in your ear, "Don't insult my widdle cutie guy..."

     You grimace theatrically at the baby talk.

     "Don't ever do that again."

     "Or what?" Changbin challenges as he immediately unleashes a combo move that has your character hurtling toward the edge of the battle stage.

     You hop around, avoiding him and trying out different button combos. It's been forever since you played this game. Your ex had been a Halo enthusiast. You were never big on first person shooters, but you tried to get into it for his sake. He hadn't the patience to help you learn, though, and after a couple of sessions of grimaces and apologies on your behalf mumbled into his headset, he'd stopped taking you up on your offers to join him. 

     Kirby darts back and forth across the screen after you on stubby pink legs. Eventually you get the hang of things and are returning his attacks, though he easily bests you in an embarrassingly short sequence of moves.

     "Sorry, I'm no good at video games," you mumble apologetically. 

     The smug look falls from Changbin's face.

     "Why are you sorry?" he raises a brow, dropping his controller into his lap, a little smile still playing on his lips.

     You shrug. His smile fades.

     "Who says you're no good?"

     Shit.

     You shift your focus to the screen and toggle for a new character.

     "Best two out of three."

     You can feel his eyes still on you as you opt for Princess Peach.  

     Two out of three turns into five out of eight, and around eleven out of twenty, the doorbell rings. When Changbin turns in surprise toward the sound, you take the opportunity to deliver a critical blow, winning your first match of the night. He rolls his eyes as you giggle wickedly and moves to answer the door.

     You pull your phone from your pocket reflexively to check the socials you've deleted, before sighing and tossing it across the room to land on the carpet with a thud.

     "Did you just throw your phone?" 

     Glancing over your shoulder, you catch him shooting you a quizzical look over a stack of pizza boxes tall enough to feed a small army. Clambering to your feet you trail after him into the kitchen.

     "You do have plans, you liar!" you elbow him as he opens the top box and pulls out a slice, hissing as the melted cheesy overflow burns the tips of his fingers.

     "Ow!" he snaps up a napkin and cradles it under the steaming piece of pizza, shaking his other hand before holding up his fingers in front of you.

     "Blow on 'em," he whines.

     You raise your eyebrows.

     "You're joking."

     He pouts and you want to laugh. This big, grown man is seriously going to give you the lip right now?

     "That's what you get for having no patience, Bin..." you tsk disapprovingly. 

     He lets out a little disappointed sigh.

     "Meanie..." he grumbles, and lets his hand fall.

     You return your focus to the obscene amount of food now stacked on Nari's kitchen table. 

     "So, I'm sure people are going to start showing up, so I'm just gonna..."

     Changbin hands you a paper plate with two slices of pizza and heads to the fridge where he fishes out two more beers. You stare at the plate in your hand.

     "I...Bin..." 

     "What, you don't like sweet potato?" he asks with a smirk, cracking open a can and handing it to you. 

     You blink at him in confusion. 

     "Please enjoy this meal compliments of Han Jisung, who never remembers to update the address on his delivery app. Now, load up on pizza and let’s get back to it because I'm not trying to let you act like you came out on top from winning that last match on a fluke."

     You scoff at his last remark. Watching him pile several slices onto his plate, you take a bite of yours. It tastes good, and you realize as it hits your stomach that you haven't eaten all day. When was the last time you ate a real meal? When was the last time you wanted one? 

     "Noona?" 

     Changbin's voice makes you realize you had zoned out and when you blink up at him, there's just nine inches of disposable dinnerware between you. His lips are pursed and his eyes trace your features, their gaze gentle but searching. 

    "You alright?" he asks.

     There it is again; the concern. He isn't just checking in. His voice is soft and low, like his eyes. As a rule, Changbin's voice is strong, resonant - saying everything from his chest without even trying. So when he's gentle, when he pulls himself back...

    "Do you miss that guy?" he murmurs.

     "No!" 

You say it so quickly.

     Changbin nods.

     "I'm just..." Fuck, why are you suddenly so emotional? "I think I'm...adjusting. Y'know?"

     He nods again slowly. Then he reaches up and touches your face, dragging his thumb over the side of your mouth and suddenly your brain waves flat-line. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but before you can even process what's happening, he drops his hand to swipe it on a napkin.

     "Had sauce on your face," he mumbles, and you can't read his.

     His mouth is tugged up in a small smile but somehow it looks sad, and his eyes look like they're still asking a question that was never really answered. Before you can consider any further, he picks up his plate and heads back toward the living room.

     You follow him, still half in your head.

     When you sit down next to him, there's something hanging unspoken in the foot and a half of space between your bodies. Something has shifted, gone taut. 

     Shit, had you made him uncomfortable? Why had you stared at him like a weirdo when he...wait, he touched you...

     Your eyes shift over to where he sits beside you. He runs a hand through the wavy hair over his ear. Has he always been so beautiful? He turns quick enough to catch you staring and you put your plate out of your lap. The pizza smells so good but suddenly you can't touch it.

     Changbin initiates another round, which you lose in record time. Your stomach grumbles.

     "You better eat if you're going to have any hope of beating me again," he goads, finishing off his third slice to abandon the crust with the others on his plate before launching another game.

     "I had enough," you deflect, pushing your plate toward him.

     "You took two bites."

     "I need to cut back."

     "Like...go on a diet?"

     "Yeah."

     His brows furrow and his tongue slips between his lips as he sends Kirby into a hammer flip that lands as a critical hit and you wince.

"What have you eaten today?"

"What?"

     "You heard me."

     "I...I don't know. I..."

     Your stomach twists. The hunger is there, but so is the anxiety. The fear of being judged for eating too much or too quickly or...

     The game pauses. Your plate slides back toward you over the carpet.

     "The rest of that piece. Or whatever else you want. But something." 

     His voice is gentle but firm. You sigh.

     "Fine," you murmur, grabbing the half-eaten slice.

     You take a bite, and slowly raise your eyes to his as they regard you patiently.

     "Sorry," you mumble, covering your mouth, shifting away from him.

     "Why now?"

     "I make gross noises when I eat."

     "What? No you d-" 

     A hand tugs at your elbow. When you look back toward him his handsome face holds so many things, and you watch as they take turns seizing his features. Horror...pity...anger.

     "Who told you that?" he asks lowly, but it doesn't sound like a question. "Noona..."

     He squeezes your elbow.

     You feel everything you've been shoving down in your chest begin to well up. 

Fuck, no! 

Your lip trembles.

He's shifting to face you.

You shake your head and press your eyes shut.

Your hand is encompassed in a larger one.

     "It's lies, all of it," Changbin whispers with desperate conviction...and your dam breaks.

     He pulls you into his arms as you sob with abandon. One of his hands encircles your waist tugging you against his broad, warm chest, and the other slips to brush tenderly over your nape as you tuck your face into his neck. 

     "He's a liar...shhhh...he's a lying piece of shit," he insists earnestly, into your hair. "You're perfect. He's the one who needs to fix himself. You're so, so perfect." 

     Perfect? You let your heart hold the word in its palm for one precious moment before pushing it away. Your heart had never been one to accept gifts it didn't think it deserved.

     You weep and weep in his strong arms until you run out of tears, and then he holds you while you breathe. As the catharsis of your breakdown begins to settle in, you wonder at the comedown - a softer, warmer one than you've ever known – and you consider the loveliness that has broken your fall.

     Soft and firm, everywhere he touches you. And warm. So warm. Not just the heat radiating from his body like a furnace – the velvet rasp of his voice, the absolute and unfaltering nature of his embrace.

     Your hands move tentatively against his back. Soft cotton stretches and bunches between your fingers over his sturdy frame. Where your face is pressed to his collar every breath draws in a comforting combination of detergent and cologne. When you close your eyes and sigh, letting your weight sink against him further, you feel his arms tighten in response. 

     "Sorry," you croak feebly.

     "Stop," he implores you, "Every time you apologize, I want to sock that guy in the face."

     "I...I'm so stupid, I didn't even really realize..."

     "No," his arms squeeze you again, "He had your trust. It was his job to protect you."

     Protected. That's how you feel right now. Safe. So, so safe. Letting him hold you and reassure you felt good...it felt right. But yet again, the voice in your mind that liked to remind you how much of a burden you always were speaks up in a sickly whisper.

     You pull yourself slowly from his arms and off his lap. Drawing yourself up to stand, you wipe your hot cheeks, puffy red eyes finding his like the needle of a compass. Unprepared for what awaits you in his gaze, your knees nearly give out beneath you.

     Changbin is looking up from where he kneels before you, the yearning in his eyes unchecked as they burn with  an unasked question and an unspoken promise.

     "I should go," you whisper, barely able to form the words.

     "Don't," he says, standing.

     "If I stay I'll just wreck your night," you mumble.

     "You could never," he insists, lips tugging into a little smile. His eyes are still pleading.

     "Changbin..." you breathe, suddenly drowning again in the fizzy serotonin his words ignite in your chest. "You don't want..."

     "You let me be the judge of what I want."

     His hands find your arms and he pulls you in. There are centimeters between you. His eyes rest on your lips. Your heart hammers in your ears as your brain begins to malfunction the way it had when he touched your face...

     "D-do I have something on my-"

     Mouth? His.

    The whole of your being floods with something beautiful and ineffable at the touch of his lips and no voice, no doubt, no force in the world could be stronger than the one that pulls you into him. Your arms fly up to wrap around his neck and tug yourself impossibly closer. His hands drop to your waist, pressing desperately in kind, and your bodies mold together. You flush with heat, sparks igniting in your belly and skittering through your veins as his lips move against yours. He stumbles back, pulling you with him as his knees buckle at the edge of the couch, and your body spills over his lap.

Your fingers card into his hair.

His hands drop to the back of your hips.

Your tongue brushes his bottom lip.

He moans.

     At the gorgeous, deep sound from his chest, you pull back, fighting the smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth. What the fuck is happening right now? You don't get much time to consider as his head falls against the backrest and his eyes flutter open.

     "Sorry," he grins bashfully. The tips of his ears burn pink.

     "Now who's apologizing for no reason?" you tease, pressing your hands to his chest.

     He smiles so sweetly in return you feel you might physically melt. And then the smile fades and the lids of his eyes grow heavy and he leans up to claim your mouth.

     His lips taste the same as a moment ago, but their press is slower, hungrier. His hands are powerful and assertive as they hook under your thighs and pull your hips flush against his own in a single tug. You gasp softly against his lips and you feel his smirk. You feel his smirk and something else - something beginning to press up into your ass through your jeans.

     Licking into his mouth, you push down, grinding your hips over his in a slow, deliberate undulation. The groan that falls from his lips unlocks something inside of you that needs to know every sound he makes and how to elicit them. Your mouth drops to his neck.

     Suddenly, he's gripping your waist and pivoting to lay you on the cushions, slotting himself between your legs. You're still dizzy from the sudden rush of movement, when your legs curl around his hips and over his ass and–

     A loud buzzing from the coffee table has you mourning the press of Changbin's lips to your throat as he glances at the caller ID. 

     "Shit!" he scrambles to sit up, hand still gripping your thigh above your knee when he presses the phone to his ear.

     "Hey," he runs a hand through his hair. "What? Nothing. No, I didn't forget. I will, I will."

     You recognize his tone of voice. There could only be one person on the other end of the line. You sit up, your head beginning to clear as the reality of the situation washes over you.

     "Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Be safe. Love you." 

Changbin presses the end-call button and tosses the phone onto the cushion beside him. He leans back against the couch and claps his hand against your leg with a sigh.

     "She really knows how to wreck a moment for me."

     You crack a wry smile.

     "I mean, it's probably for the best that we don't desecrate your sister's couch."

     His eyes widen as horror, disgust, and amusement wage war across his features. You burst into a fit of giggles. He feigns a gag. You laugh so hard that you snort.

     "S-sorry," you clap your hand over your mouth, still tittering while your ears heat in embarrassment.

     Changbin's face softens again. He reaches for your hand and pulls it from your face, threading his fingers through yours.

     "Cut it out."

     "What? I can't be embarrassed about snorting like a pig?"

     "No. It's cute," he smirks.

     "It is not!"

     "Mhm. Everything you do is cute."

     He glances over at you, a lopsided smirk on his perfect lips, his eyes sparkling. He means it.

     You fluster, gaze dropping to your enjoined hands, and concentrate on tracing little patterns on the back of his with your thumb. He sighs.

     "Wanna watch a movie?"

     The request takes you by surprise and your heart squeezes. If it was any other guy, the night would have been over. For the fourth time tonight, you had been about to head for the door, and for the fourth time, Changbin makes you feel wanted. So you stay.

     You grab a big, fluffy blanket from the basket in Nari's room, and when you return, Changbin has the lights dimmed and Your Name ready to go on the TV. You smile as you settle in beside him, tossing half the blanket over his widespread legs.

     "We don't have to watch this just because it's my favorite, you know," you insist, but he shakes his head.

     "Taki's ma' boy," he smirks, shooting you a glance as he presses play on the remote.

     You're not quite sure what it means, but you feel your heart skip a beat just the same.

You love this movie. You love that you've seen it enough times that you can talk through it. You love that Changbin is more than willing to talk over the film himself. You're not certain when it happened, but by halfway through the movie his arm is stretched out behind your shoulders and your head rests on his bicep.

     "Do you remember seeing this together in the theater?" he asks suddenly, tilting his head toward yours.

     You grin.

     "You cried and Nari gave you shit about it," you recall.

     "You bailed me out. Told her all the sniffling was you. Never even teased me about it either."

     Changbin smiles down at you, his eyes sentimental.

     Butterflies flutter their delicate wings in your ribcage. How does he make you feel this way?

Your eyes dip to his lips for a moment. Sighing, you nuzzle into his shoulder, hiding your face as much as seeking his warmth. His arm slips off the back of the couch to curl around your shoulders and pull you into his side. The movie plays on.

     When the credits roll, Changbin stretches and yawns, and watching him it dawns on you that, working at a fitness center, he's an especially early riser.

     "We should call it a night," you offer, standing and stretching yourself, but you're tugged back down into Changbin's lap, yelping as you topple onto him.

     His arms encircle your hips as he regards you with a sleepy grin.

     "What, do I live here now?" you tease.

     "Stay the night," he urges, tightening his arms around you. "You really want to drive back now?"

     You chew your lip, eyes tracing over his face. This is all more than a bit unreal, and you haven't given yourself even one second to process what's happening, lest you utterly panic. All you know right now is that your little ship had been sinking and he had hauled you into a lifeboat. Everything outside of him seems like a raging sea.

     You nod.

     "Okay," you whisper, combing his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll stay.” 

     His eyes dip shut at your touch and the butterflies flutter gently once more.

     A few minutes later, you take Nari's room and slip into a pair of her cotton shorts, which do basically nothing to contain your ass, and tug on a plain white tee that stretches snugly over your torso. How a big guy like Changbin could have emerged from the same genetic pool as his teeny tiny sister was beyond you. As you glance in the mirror, your heart sinks. You don't like how the tight fit is pressing you out everywhere you're most self-conscious. But, they are just pajamas, and they're all you have at your disposal.

     As you're about to head into the master bathroom to finish your nightly routine, you remember that the toothbrush and toiletries you keep on hand at Nari's are in the little half-bath attached to the guest room. You groan, glancing at yourself again in the mirror, and pull a blanket around yourself before crossing the hall.

     Hoping Changbin hasn’t yet fallen asleep, you knock hesitantly on the door. You hear the bed creak before the door opens to reveal a head of mussed hair and hands scrubbing over bleary eyes. But it's not what you notice. Your apology for rousing him dies on your lips as your eyes glue themselves to his bare chest. Blinking dumbly, your eyes climb from his soft stomach subtly rippling with the presence of strong abdominals up to a pair of impressive pecs with wide-set, dusky nipples. His flannel pajama pants settle at his hips, accentuating how his body broadens as it rises from his waist to his full chest and wide shoulders flanked by bulging biceps. Thick. He's so fucking thick you could bi-

     "...Noona?" he rumbles, his voice husky from sleep. "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing...sorry..." you rush out, ripping your gaze up to his. "My toothbrush is in your room – I mean! in your bathroom. That's where I usually stay, so...but I didn't think you'd be asleep. Sorry, I can just..." 

     He rubs over one of his eyes with his palm as he steps aside.

     "You can grab it."

     Right. You shuffle in awkwardly, trying not to step on the blanket dragging around your feet. As you cross the dark room, you try not to dwell on the rumpled sheets of the bed that speak of his body having lain between them, or the soft smell of his cologne hanging in the air. You quickly retrieve the little toiletry bag and, as you move to squeeze past Changbin at the door, he eyes the fluffy shroud you're clutching to your chest.

     He raises a sleepy eyebrow.

     "I'm sure Nari has pants you could..."

     "I'm wearing pants!" you bluster, "They just...don't fit."

      You move out of the doorway to make your way back to your room, but a hand cups the side of your face and turns it as soft lips meet your forehead. 

     "Good night, noona," he murmurs with a little smile before retreating back into his room.

     You stand in the hall, staring at his door, the butterflies absolutely aflurry.

     Despite your best efforts, you can't sleep. Your mind is full of the last five hours. Full of Changbin.

     He had kissed you. You had kissed him back. And it had felt...

     You roll from your side to your back, sighing up at the dark ceiling. You chew on your lip as you remember breaking down and his arms around you. You would usually feel regretful and ashamed after baring yourself like that to someone. You despised moments of weakness. But you couldn't bring yourself to hate the moments in his arms. You didn't regret them. In fact, you wanted him to hold you again. You wanted to feel vulnerable in his hands, and you wanted him to keep you safe.

     You feel heat rush up from your neck as you recognize these feelings.

     You must be absolutely shameless, you conclude in wonder. You should be freaking out right now - this was Changbin, for Christ's sake – Nari's brother! You should be wondering what happens next, and what all of it means...but even so you can’t bring yourself to care. All your mind can focus on is how his arms felt like waking up after a nightmare to song birds and soft sunlight.

     After an hour or so of tossing and turning, the salty pizza from dinner has you parched and slipping out to the kitchen for a drink. You pull a glass from the cupboard and fill it at the fridge, gulping down the contents to refill it again. Suddenly, you feel two strong arms snake around your waist and you start, sloshing your water and smacking the back of your head into the man holding you. You hastily set your glass down and turn in his arms as he lets out a groan, one of his hands releasing you as it flies up to cup the front of his face in pain.

     "Bin, oh my god! Are you okay? You scared me!" you chide with a chuckle as you reach up to push his hand away and brush the tips of your fingers across his nose. 

    He pouts down at you and you smile.

     "Did I wake you?"

     He huffs.

     "Yeah. To get your toothbrush. Then I couldn't go back to sleep."

     "Sorry," you groan, still stroking over where you had struck his face. "Does it hurt?" 

     He nods.

     "Kiss it better," he mumbles cutely.

     You roll your eyes, but lift your lips to comply when suddenly he interrupts the motion with the soft press of his mouth to yours. It's slow and sweet, and you're struck all over again with how quickly you melt at his touch - a sensation you cannot imagine ever growing accustomed to, but to which you are fairly certain you are in danger of growing entirely addicted.

     "Bin..." you whisper against his lips, "Bin, what are we-"

     "Liar," he murmurs, pulling back.

     Your mouth parts in confusion as you stare up at him, still drunk on his lips.

     "You said the clothes didn't fit. You should wear this all the time," he smirks as he squeezes low on your waist.

     Your cheeks heat as you remember what you're wearing, but you don't have long to be anxious over it as he presses his lips to your nose...the corner of your mouth...your jaw. You tremble as you lean into him, fingers splaying over his warm, bare chest.

     "Let me show you," he whispers against your skin.

     "Sh-show me...what...?"

     He draws back, pressing his forehead to yours.

     "How perfect you are."

     You still, eyes flicking up to his. They're dark and tender and pleading. You let out a little shuddering breath.

     "I...you don't have t-"

     His arms hold you closer, gentle but insistent.

     "Let me," he whispers, the tip of his handsome nose brushing over the dip of your cupid's bow. "Please. I want to."

     You swallow, eyes dropping to his lips. You want it too, you find. You want his hands and lips and eyes all over you, bringing warmth everywhere they meet your aching body. You nod and take his lips again with yours. 

     "Yeah?" he murmurs against them.

     "Yeah," you breathe, slipping a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair.

     He groans in response, deepening the kiss as he licks at your parted lips and when your tongues brush, sparks burst in your belly. You feel it all slipping, the masks, the walls - every barrier you hold up to shield yourself from not being enough. His arms are strong and his lips are tender and you can't focus on anything but the perfection of being so utterly held.

     His mouth moves to caress your jaw, under your ear, down the column of your neck, and suddenly you feel the edge of the counter pressing into the small of your back. His hands grip your waist and he hitches you onto the tiled surface with ease. It's cold against your bare legs, but you don't have more than a second to register the discomfort as Changbin nudges his way between your knees. He runs his hands over your thighs as his eyes trail from your panting lips to your lightly heaving chest.

     You feel your nipples pebble under his gaze and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his eyes glinting with mischief as he runs a hand up your side, over your shirt, to rest under the swell of your breast. He flicks a thumb over the hardened bud and you whimper and jump. He laughs softly, his smirk spreading into a full smile as he squeezes your breast and brings his eyes to yours.

     "Your pretty body likes me, noona," he puffs proudly, massaging you deftly through the soft cotton of the tee.

     You don't have a witty retort. Your body likes him so much that it frightens you. And with the deep affection you already feel, have long felt, for him...

     You reach to gently tangle your hand again in his coarse, dark curls. He glances up, a sweet little smirk tugging at his pretty lips again. 

     "Bin..." you sigh.

     "Hmm?" he hums as he slips his hands to your bottom and tugs you forward so that you're flush against him.

     You dip your head and your lips ghost his.

     "Nothing," you whisper, and you kiss him again. Again and again.

     His hands slide from your ass to slip beneath your shirt at your lower waist and he kneads the soft flesh above your hips.

     "So soft. Feels so good," he groans into your mouth.

     You moan as the walls of your pussy contract. You're beginning to ache, beginning to drip – and his words seem to affect you as intensely as his touch.

     He moves his lips to latch onto the soft skin of your neck and suck, his hands bunching your shirt up and up until his mouth pops free from your skin and he's pulling the thin garment over your head and tossing it aside. The cool air pricks your skin and you become keenly aware, for the briefest moment, that you are sitting on your best friend's kitchen counter, stripped down to her sleep shorts, with her brother between your thighs. As your brain races to decide whether to find that incredibly arousing or absolutely panic-inducing, Changbin's cherry lips rewire your neurological pathways in favor of the former when they close around your right nipple. Your head lolls back, colliding with the cabinet door and it clatters. 

     "Shit..." you hiss softly, threading your hands into his hair and gripping it by the roots.

     Your eyes slip shut and you focus on the sensation of his warm tongue slipping over the peaks of your breasts, his strong, smooth palms cupping and caressing. And then you feel his little puffs of breath and the nudge of his nose at the valley of your chest as he groans and smushes your tits up to meet his face. 

     "I fucking live here now," he mumbles into the globe of your breast, and despite the heat of the moment, you softly laugh. You laugh and you feel his smile pressed to your skin.

     Then suddenly he's pulling you into his arms in a bridal carry. You know he's strong, as you wrap your arms around his neck, but can't push away a pang of self-consciousness as he bears your weight. 

     "Bin, I'm so heavy..."

     "You're not."

     "I don't want you to..."

     "Stop it," comes his voice in a soft, deep command as he halts in his tracks to kiss you.

     He kisses you and kisses you until you believe that he could carry you until the end of time, and then he takes you into the guest bedroom and sits you gently on the bed. The bed with the mussed sheets that smell like him. The sheets that he's leaning you into as you push yourself to the middle of the bed while he hovers over the top of your body, his lips never leaving yours.

     As he sinks down over you, the weight of his body pressing you into the mattress has warmth licking through your veins. You move your hands to caress over his broad back, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your fingers as he shifts to prop himself up on his elbow. You use the free space to trace your hand down his chest and abdomen until you reach the waistband of his pants. If he'd just push himself a few inches up you could...

     He pulls away, just barely breathless, and his eyes find yours. He reaches down with his right hand to pull yours gently from between your bodies and to his lips, before threading his fingers through yours and pressing your joined hands into the sheets beside your head.

     "I want to eat you out."

     He says it so simply, so confidently, and you can feel more arousal gush to join what's already begun to paint your inner thighs. 

     "Fuck..." you breathe, your fingers trembling in his grasp.

     "Can I?" he asks, kissing your lips softly again.

     For a moment you're afraid of what saying yes will mean, of the intimacy of it all, of the possibility that you won't measure up, someway, somehow, or maybe...that you will - and what in the world you would do with that level of acceptance...

     You let out a shaky sigh, as you hold his gaze. It arrests you and washes over you. You remember his eyes as he knelt on the living room floor, and all they pleaded with you to disbelieve, to unlearn. 

     Yes. Yes...If it's him, you want it, whatever it means.

     You surge forward, pressing your lips to his, your hands weaving through his hair, pulling him in. He lets out a tiny whimper as you devour him, kissing him with determined abandon until you have to come up for air.

     "Yes, Bin, yes," you shudder into his mouth as he pants over you. “Yes I want you to.”

In answer, he presses one last tender kiss to your lips before moving to kiss down your body. He moves slowly, but with purpose, pressing an adoring mouth to every part of you that’s bared. He kisses your ear, your neck, your collarbones…he moves over your shoulders and down your right arm to the tip of each finger. He kisses your breasts and down your stomach. He kisses your belly button, and over your hips and down your left thigh. He kisses the inside of your knee, and bends your leg to kiss over your calf and down to your ankle. 

You can barely watch him, as he brushes his lips over you, but he flicks his eyes up to yours so often you don’t dare look away. There is something flickering in his gaze, something like a challenge - daring you to contradict, to doubt what he seeks to impress upon you - and you begin to feel something strange and new. Something you’d never found at the touch of a lover, blooming in your chest and unfurling like a proud little flower under the sun: the strong, heady beauty of esteeming yourself worthy of his desire. It terrifies you a bit, and the ugly voice that has heckled you so often tries to cast doubt, but Changbin’s lips and hands are too persistent and assured for the harbinger in your mind to linger long. And the tidal wave of lovely feelings crashing over you threatens to destroy the shabby prison your heart has lingered in for so long.

Changbin lays his head on your thigh as he brings his hand off the other to cup your pussy over the softness of your shorts. His groan is nearly as loud as yours when he rubs over your mound, and it makes you impossibly wetter. He’s so unabashed and liberal with reacting to what he enjoys, and he is clearly enjoying you as much as he ever has anything.

He moves to bring his face to your clothed cunt, hovering over you for a nanosecond to catch your eyes as he mouths down over you. Your jaw drops open, and when his teeth scrape dully over your clit, your hips jerk and you fist the sheets. Changbin pulls back with a smirk, and sits back on his knees between your legs. He pulls one of your legs up to lean against his shoulder as his hands instinctively knead over the muscles of your calf and thigh.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, with a little smile.

You nod with one of your own.

“I’m gonna lift you, okay? You can hold onto my legs, but I’ll have you, so don’t worry.”

You bite your lip and nod, suddenly a little shy. Look at him. Where did he get all this confidence?

He drops your leg briefly to tug off your shorts and panties, cursing at how wet you are, and gently slipping two fingers to brush between your glistening lips and over your clit. You gasp at the sensation - his fingers deft, his touch soft but firm where you ache for him. And then, suddenly, he is sliding your legs back up to rest against his chest and shoulders. His hands slip down to your hips and he effortlessly tugs your ass over the incline of his thighs and flush with his abdomen. Your heart starts to thrum in your chest. His body is warm and sturdy against the soft plush of your ass. Heat floods your cheeks when you sense a slickness against him where your arousal has begun to smear against his stomach. He, however, is far less bashful. Widening the gap between your thighs, he dips his head down, inhaling deeply.

"Fuck…" he murmurs, squeezing your legs where he holds them. 

When he raises his eyes to yours again, they’re unlike you’ve ever seen. They’re dark and hungry and hooded in a way that nearly intimidates you. His expression is full of heat, and manly in its sudden gravity. He watches you as he slips his thumbs under your waist and, slowly with strong hands, pulls your hips up beneath his chin. Your legs bend at the knees and drape around the crown of his head. Your spine curves where your upper back is flush with his thighs, your arm on either side of his kneeling form, and as he embraces you tightly around the hips and waist, you feel nearly every ounce of your weight suspended in his hold. The blood rushes to your head where it lays against the mattress, your neck curving just shy of his knees, offering a clear view of his gorgeous face as he wastes no time in pressing his open mouth to your labia. 

Your core muscles flex in response, hips pressing higher against him as you feel ripples of exquisite pleasure trickle through your body from above. The smooth muscle of his tongue slips past your entrance and begins fucking into you. Your head swims, the slightest dizzying restriction of oxygen dampening your ability to focus on anything but the bliss of his hot, wet mouth. Being tasted has never felt this intense. You whimper, your hands reaching around his body to find purchase on his muscular ass. You feel the press of his throbbing erection into your back as his tongue fucks unhurriedly into you. He’s rock hard, and all for you. From the sight of your naked body, the feel of you in his hands, the taste of you on his tongue. From the sounds pouring off of your lips as he worships your sex. 

Your legs begin to shake. You’re so totally in his hands. He holds you, lavishes you, consumes you. Nothing stands between you and ecstasy, and you can feel your climax fast approaching as pleasure ebbs and flows like a crashing tide on the rhythm of his firm, languid strokes.

"Ch-Changbin! Nhhh!" you mewl, you voice throaty and muffled from your position. 

He growls against you and you nearly cum then. One of his hands drops to squeeze the soft mound of your right breast. Your cheeks burn, sweat beginning to bead on your forehead and neck. You can feel your pussy throbbing - hot and sticky and swollen with stimulation - as he devours it like the flesh of ripened fruit. His lips encircle your clit and suckle as the tip of his tongue flicks over the erect peak of your bud.

And then it all goes white. You lose all sense but feeling as you rock your hips up to meet him, the tension in your abdominals adding sinfully to the fluttering pulsating of your pussy. There’s nothing but you and him and his arms around you and his mouth against the most intimate parts of you as your orgasm washes over you in electrifying slow-motion, pulling you under a tidal wave of bliss for what seems like an eternity. Your lips part in a silent scream of his name, your eyes pressed shut, as he works you through the longest and most intense climax your body has ever experienced.

You feel him place one last sweet, gentle kiss to your cunt before moving the hand on your breast to one of your thighs as he guides you back down onto the bed. You’re panting and boneless as you watch him draw an arm over his cum-slicked chin and cheeks. For a moment he simply looks down at you, a victorious air about him as his eyes trace your sated features and his gorgeous chest heaves with labored breath, then he crawls forward on the bed, stretching himself out on his side next to you, his body flush with your own. He slips his hand over the soft skin of your belly and rubs it soothingly as he watches you with a little grin.

“You good?” he asks in a raspy murmur.

You reach for his face, bringing it to yours as you kiss him with what wherewithal you have. You pull away, still breathless.

“Am I good? Seo Changbin, I think I could fly.”

His answering smile is so filled with joy and pride and affection that you think you truly may have sprouted wings. You roll to your side to press yourself against him, your hand tugging at the waistband of his pajamas, but he takes your hand again in his.

“Not tonight.”

“Why?”

“Tonight is yours.”

“Bin…”

“I’m yours.”

You blink up at him, his head resting on his hand, his eyes sparkling and soft.

“If you’ll have me,” he raises your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “You don’t have to answer right now. I know you’re going through a lot, and this is all…new.” 

He smiles again, glancing down as his features take on a boyish shyness.

  “But I care for you. And, however things work out,” his eyes lock with yours again, “I’ll always protect you.” 

Your heart stands still. There are things that are too deeply lovely for words to be wasted on them. Any words but three - three that are already deeply true, but which have begun to mean something beautiful and different tonight, burying themselves like a little seed in your heart that needs time to grow. So for now you let yourself cry tears that fall like raindrops in the sunlight, and drift to sleep with the steady beat of Changbin’s heart.

“Ay!” Nari’s voice cuts through the din of chatter as her hand shoots out to narrowly prevent a fellow patron from snagging the chair beside her. “Sorry, seats are taken.”

She takes a sip of her beer and stretches her short legs as far as they will reach across the two empty chairs beside her.

“The guys are gonna have to hustle if they’re gonna sit with us,” she says reproachfully, dark brows rising as her eyes scan the venue for the bodies that belong in the seats you have been desperately attempting to reserve for the last hour.

The Eight Ball is crowded to bursting, and you scan the stage for signs of the evening’s openers. Checking your phone, you find that it’s nearly eight. You also find a text that brings a smirk to your lips.

“What?”

You glance up at Nari, who’s staring at you suspiciously.

“Nothing…” you mumble, flipping your phone back over onto the table. You sip your cocktail through a straw.

“Are you texting him?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? Who?”

“You know who,” Nari mocks, narrowing her eyes at you. “The jerkwad.”

“Oh my god, Nari, no!” you sigh, as your phone buzzes again. 

She glances at it.

“Then what was with the look? Who are you…”

“Are these for us?” a voice belonging to a smiling, dimpled young man in a black hoodie with a matching beanie pulled over his head saves you from further explanation.

“Jesus, Chris, finally,” Nari admonishes as he takes the seat next to you, pulling her legs off the remaining chairs to free them up for the other two men that follow behind him. 

The freckled blond pulls Nari into a side hug which she returns, booping his nose before leaning across him to peer menacingly at his friend.

“Yo, Jisung,” she barks, “If you’re gonna order several hundred pizzas, how about taking some with you next time? My fridge is still stuffed.”

The young man blinks wide, surprised eyes at her before his brain catches up with her scolding.

“Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault!” he insists poutingly. “I ordered them because Changbin asked me to and then he canceled gaming weekend ‘cause he had a girl over.” he grumbles, causing the other two to snicker.

“Nice,” Chris giggles.

This time you do choke.

Your eyes fly to your best friend, watching the barrage of questions bubbling up on her face when a voice cuts through the din, silencing the crowd and unknowingly saving himself for the time being.

“Good evening, Eight Ballers!” Changbin rasps into his mic as Hyunjin waves, as ridiculously beautiful as ever, beside him.

You look at Changbin’s eyes.

They’re bright and confident and determined. You smile and cheer when he finishes introductions. As the band hits the first few notes of the opening number, his gaze finds yours, and it’s full of so many things.

His eyes sparkle with seven days worth of secrets – of waking up to your eyes and arms, of a weekend of nothing but bare bodies and hearts, of weeknight phone calls until the wee hours of the morning…of a new way of caring for each other that you’ll eventually tell the others, but that is just yours for now.

As you look at him, so full of adoration, you hope you can offer him even a fraction of the new world he’s only just begun to share with you – and the reflection you see a little more beautifully each day in the light of his eyes.

-Fin-

[arcadia345]

The Natal Astrology chart of Jeon-Jungkook

‼️🔞🔞🔞 not a real astrologer just my observations :) paid readings

Born in Busan, South Korea on Monday Sept. 1st 1997 at 3:23pm

ASC: Capricorn 6°

the first thing to stand out on him appearance wise would be his hands and arms, shoulders, teeth, hair, legs and thighs, but especially his torso! With his dreamlike and eccentric presence they didn’t take him seriously Saturn influence but as time passed and he worked on his crafts and himself everyone seen him as the star he is. Capricorns are known for having to mature quicker than others because of responsibilities. As a cap rising with Uranus and Neptune in the first just like him I KNEW he was a Capricorn bc of how his nose has always been prominent throughout his life but now he’s grown up/ into his features 🥹 and also how everyone always projecting (Neptune)onto him like???? Like when did he tell you this?? Definitely the dissociation king 👑. Very easy to dream about him I feel😭 he brings out our subconscious desires. His rebellious Uranus side popped out when he came out with his piercings and tats you could tell he was tired of being projected onto but also iconic because he’s kinda like the first A-list K-pop idol (bts in general tho)to go out of social norms appearance wise. In a way they kinda broke a generational curse 🥹 I remembered how he said he got the scar on his cheek because he was fighting with his brother which correlates to his Aries Saturn (his chart ruler) in the 3rd(siblings). Style wise he gets bored quickly so he’d like to switch up his appearance often. Most of the time he’d go for comfortable but still fashionable clothing, like you may see him in a chill outfit but it’ll cost more than ur rent💀. He could like to switch it up with odd/bold/flirty colors & fits but mostly he loves his darker colors like grey and black.

2nd house: Aquarius 14°

Lemme tell y’all right now…. This man is WIERD at heart🤣🤣 like he’s genuinely quirky lol it’s not a front like fr he’s so down to earth it’s crazy🥹 also his whole chart points to being very spiritual? esp with that 8th house stellium like he’s very into expanding his mind in any way possible so his could be heavily gifted and in pretty sure he knows this by now. He definitely ask himself “why me?”all the time like what did he do to end up so blessed/different?. He definitely would’ve had money regardless of fame as long as he stays true to himself and learns to give enough without being taken advantage of. He loves watching television/listening to music to pass the time. (Any other Neptune in 1st feel like they were raised by television??) Jupiter is all about indulging so in the 2nd house he loves all the simple pleasures, he LOVES FOOD like omg & nice clothes and smells everything that makes you feel good, he likes to collect things that’ll make you go????🤨😃 also he’s DEFINITELY CHRONICALLY ONLINE AND STALKING US BUT HE CANT HELP IT he’s just really nosey lmao😂. He’s the type of celeb to be like “I’m bored, what are my fans doing?” Like omg pookie you genuinely curious what I’m up to??? I feel so special😭 he feels his real persona can come out online better than irl? I think it’s a shyness thing.

ꪔ̤̥ Now since he grew up in the spotlight please take into consideration since bts is his 2nd family a lot of the things I discuss would include them especially 3rd and 4th house but I’ll just call them family also

3rd house: Pisces 23°

First off we already know how dreamy and passionate he is when it comes to his communication skills, in school years he could’ve been the kid nobody noticed in class, also bullying could’ve been a issue, the type to sleep through class, also his siblings could be talented as well, he/they could have many secrets they share between each other. I’m getting that it could be hard for him to remember his upcomings sometimes because like it genuinely flew over his head💀 like yes he was there but he wasn’t there mentally sometimes lol same. Saturn in this house his siblings/ family were strict on him he could be shy when it comes to expressing his emotions like it’s hard to just pinpoint one emotion when you feel everything all at once so that could discourage him from expressing himself. Also he could’ve been lied to /left out often and didn’t even know it omg😭 now don’t get me wrong even tho a lot of things fly past his head he’s VERY MUCH self aware he just doesn’t care fr💀 also since his 3rd house ruler is in the 1st the scenario that comes to mind is like someone seeing your sibling out and public and the first thing they ask is “where’s your brother(Jk)?” Saturn can represent the father and discipline🥺 trying not to cry while type this) him and his siblings went through a lot of difficult times together but also they taught him so much he has sooo much respect for them he knows he wouldn’t be the same person today without them omg like they really raised him🥺🥺😭

4th house: Aries 26°

Now he could’ve had an erratic home life he could’ve moved around a lot & moved far away at a young age since Venus is in the 9th. There is a lot of mars masculine energy here so he likes chaos/excitement in his home also lots of sporty/action stuff around the house I feel like when he first met bts it was like his first taste of freedom in a way. I tell ya rn there was never a dull moment where he lived lol. Him and his family were always in competition with someone they had to fight for their place. Struggle wise at times he could’ve been FIGHTING for his life lots of arguments and aggression (which makes sense since they said they didn’t really get along at first)but with the Taurus degree there was definitely struggles with money and food / stability and personal possessions which drove him to work even harder. His 4th house ruler being in the 10th is giving I grew up at work😟😔

5th house: Taurus 22°

Firstly he’d be such a great dad 🥺 a really funny one too 😂 . His flirting style is not flirting at all😎 well kinda he’s more of gift giving person. His love language is genuinely opening up to you because he barely gets to do that fr, for Capricorns that’s a big thing. Things like showing you the most simple smallest things that means sm to him🥹🥹 to things he created. also food is big to him like the key to his heart actually, that man loves his food! be ready to be wined and dined and spoileddd. He loves traveling, dancing, music, philosophies & beautiful things so he’ll want to get your input on almost everything he wants to pick your brain lol. Also he’s really clingy that’s important to him physical touch but he really doesn’t open up much because he knows he has a lot to lose so he definitely isn’t a fling type of guy he likes to build a foundation with someone unless it’s like a one time thing out of the country where he knows he’ll probably never see you again so might as well act on his instincts. He could be into choking/restrictions, taboos, spontaneity, feet??? One of his erotic zones is his neck. Also his siblings influence his creativity heavily because he knows they know what’s best for him. What he considers as fun is eating😭😭👀 playing some games, cooking, listening to his fav music, drinking, cleaning doing laundry like he’s such a simple man that a good day for him would be staying home all day 😂

6th house: Gemini 14°

He’s very versatile he likes learning he hungers for knowledge. He keeps a strict routine but still likes to switch it up cause he gets bored easily. He was very young when he started working and also he was one of the youngest of his peers so Gemini here makes sense also as he is naturally curious he likes working with his peers/ siblings and unique personalities. He likes traveling also and trying the different types of food they have and shopping there also he obviously spoils his pets feeds them the best food keeps them well groomed, it’s in a mutable sign so I wouldn’t be surprised if he had many types of animals but he’ll want to cuddle a lot with them so idk if he’ll be keen to reptilians with such a busy career atm. He’ll also be very vocal with them they could know a lot of tricks that he taught them. He’d like to travel with them also if he has the chance to, Taurus in his 5th he loves to dress them up and pamper them, wouldn’t be surprised if he was having danceoffs against them lmao 😂

7th house: Cancer 6°

Let me tell you something…. This is HUSBAND MATERIAL RIGHT HERE. The type to be like “I can fix them.” Cause he loves a challenge but he’d actually be able to fix them ngl😭. But first let’s get into how other people perceive him on a 1-1 basis. Now with both these planets being in the 8th it’s very evident that they’d want to jump his bones/ spiral into obsession/ an awakening after meeting him. People naturally spill their hearts out to him, definitely a trauma dumping placement. Ofc people are gonna baby him it’s like he brings out people’s maternal instincts they just wanna keep him safe🥹 but this is also how he treats everyone, with genuine love and respect❤️ also he could get shy easily like the bunny Thumper from Bambi 🥹

8th house: Leo 14°

Okay now bare with me on this one because it’s hard to really understand stelliums if you don’t have one in ur chart, but what I’ve noticed is no matter what they seem to get put in situations that correlate with the house the stellium is in, which causes them to focus on the opposite house to balance the energy’s out. Now first off this man has some HEAVY good karma from the past life he honestly deserves every abundant thing that comes to him x2. As you know he is very keen on perfectionism and order, I refuse to believe he wasn’t some cult leader /powerful witch or something in the past life. Especially a VIRGO stellium in the 8??!!? He was/is a natural born healer 🥹🥹 no doubts about it especially with his moon at a 0° so the moon is in its pure element no matter the sign he’s here to experience those raw emotions. I’ve never met someone with their moon degree at 0 cause its hard to find but i had a manager that had a cancer Venus 0° and when I tell you she made me feel soo special 🥹🥹 like you can feel how genuine she is she loved giving gifts and making sure everyone was okay like the energy was so PURE and innocent in a way it reminds me of jungkook and his acts of service . Also which is why I get why everyone thought he was a Leo moon cause he is in sidereal Astro but I don’t get that egoistic attitude from him if anything it’s the opposite. I don’t want this section to be too long so I’ll move on to his pleasures😈 he’s into praising, teasing, creampies, being rough, nipple play, playful banter, degrading, car s*x, breast/chest, backshots, anal, heavvvy on oral and hand play the type to tie you up 😳 he could possibly be LGBTQ+ friendly if ykwim since he has prominent Aquarius and Virgo is a mutable sign known for their curiosity and versatility, and yk Virgos are obsessed with perfection and cleanness so I’m assuming he likes to get extra messy and wet during the act and he’s not finished with you till you BOTH climax he refuses to be known for bad s*x😤 he likes to make a scene/put on a show. But like I said earlier with his moon and mercury conjunct he needs a strong emotional and mental connection with you before he does anything. His 8th house is so interesting I could go on and on but no😏

9th house: Virgo 23°

Jungkook is very sharp when it comes to the 9th and 8th house since they’re very important in fulfilling his life purpose. In later years school people could’ve seen him as perfect in a way very organized and on point probably a teachers pet or honestly it could’ve been the other way around 😹 ofc half the class had some type of crush on him or was just naturally curious about him but still with that Pisces degree he lowkey didn’t care to be there in a way he probably was absent often but the teachers didn’t care cuz hello??? It’s jk.🥴 Let’s not forget his Libra Venus is in this house as well so he’s natural charming without trying esp to foreigners (9th). He has a strong connection to his past life so I’m thinking he’s like a green witch in a way? Like healing/manifesting when cooking or in nature around plants and animals, singing or just by listening to someone who needs to vent or vise versa. When he travels he needs EVERYTHING to be clean and in place to make sure him and his people are safe bc if not he’ll spiral also he could get jet lagged easily but by now he probably has a routine that helps with that. Also I wouldn’t be surprised if he got married to a foreigner, someone in his circle that he’s known for a long time. Ngl I have Libra 19° in 9th and I tend to get reallly curious when I travel ifykwim 🥴🫣 I really like to experience the people aswell as the location that I’m in to get the full experience. Also with the Pisces degree he’s more likely to do substances like 🚬 and drinking when he’s with his siblings/cousins/ traveling

Mc : Libra 26°

His mother has a heavy Venus influence on him, I’m getting his family altogether was close-knit growing up. He’s known for his worldwide aesthetics, and basically being perfect boyfriend/husband material. Hes known to be easily loved by many, but he’ll mostly be know for the pain he’s experienced, his healing abilities, and his versatility in skills. His Chiron is in this house so most of his pain comes from the industry he’s in, authority, and his public image, with it being at a 29° his ego can hurt him the most😳 which is why I don’t understand why people would get that cocky vibe from him other than his mars. With a Scorpio mars here he’ll also be known as a big sex symbol/someone who brings strong reactions out of people. Since it’s also the ruler of his 11th house so he’ll be known for his viscous and obsessive fans especially online. He’s prone to getting many stalkers/sesangs with how heavy his 10th and 11th house is with Scorpio energy and peers see him as competition even though they see he’s not a malicious person. On the positive side tho he’ll have the ability to feel & see what goes unseen, people’s hidden motives and desires, and so will his fans!! Iykyk👀 Also mars represents passions and pleasure so he could have a thing for love at the workplace, maybe into older/mature people or power play. He could have a porn addiction, definitely into some kinky 💩 with that Aquarius degree. yall plz don’t cancel me I’m just reading his chart. 😭

11th house: Scorpio 22°

His internet presence with have good longevity, this house has to do with our wishes, I’ve been saying I really feel like he did something in the past life to “seal the deal” fame wise because that’s what his chart is giving doesn’t necessarily mean he did something bad but there was definitely intentional manifestation there. Esp with the kill or be killed degree here you don’t have room for mistakes. Yall this man is a stalker big timmme like he stalks us reallll bad but also so does his fans 😹😹 it’s definitely a 2-way street I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a spam twitter account to watch us start army wars💀. If you have Pluto in 11th you know how hard it is NOT to stalk people online😩??? I don’t even care about the people I stalk I’m just nosey asf lmao. His Pluto is at 2° so he could get a lot of gifts from seasangs esp food and material things I’ve heard him speak on these topics also. They’ll try to expose him for having fun since Taurus is in his 5th house,ie while out at restaurants, shopping, his creative endeavors, his love life, or just when he’s at his most comfortable, and children.(Omg? The way that sesang incident with Enwoo just happened right after I typed this wth😳)He understands how crucial his privacy is for his protection so he’ll choose not to post as much. He’s the friend in the group with the silent power/ magneticistm, he prefers to befriend people who understands his deep emotions, friends that have also went through traumatic experiences, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was apart of a online community secretly so he can feel normal for once. Also he’s known as the sexy emo friend lmao with the cool tats and piercings that smokes cigarettes to look cool 😎 he also prefers to befriend people who look like this also

12th house: Sagittarius 14°

Sag in your chart is where your blessings are & what you’re optimistic about. Also where you tend to be a little pessimistic. Sagittarius reminds me of the feeling a sugar rush/liqour gives you, while Capricorn reminds me of the come down afterwards regretting all the decisions you made and how you’ll never do it again. Like I’ve said this whole time he is spiritually gifted and he has strong connection to his past life. He has a lot of Deja vu moments, the things/hobbies he loved then he loves in this life also it brings him a lot of fulfillment. He’d prefer to be in solitude than to be around people but his Jupiter is in Aquarius so this part is a bit odd… he’s comfortable having cameras around when he’s secluded esp with friends but in public??? He hates it especially when he’s not with anyone he knows I think he has social anxiety 🥺 could’ve been overweight in the past life that’s probably where his love for food comes from, he’ll be blessed with assets abroad from his homeland. He could look really similar to what he did in the past life I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bunny or something.

ꪔ̤̥ That’s it for now till next time❤️ check back for updates

[accio-victuuri]

March CPNs

this month’s banner theme is tennis boyfriends! lol. when i saw it, i knew it would fit, cause this month was also when WYB went for the lacoste show and most interviews was him talking about tennis. and who is the other actor who mentioned this sport too? another coincidence! why is it always them? 😂😂😂 from new au pairings, coins, similarities and kadian drama— this month delivered the goods to us!

time to review and look back at the delicious candies we ate this month:

• the bone necklace potentially getting replaced because of some anti rumors and what it means.

• circle elements in xzs vlog is a nod to cpf comments that have yellow circles

• lacoste and bjyx

• yibo shows cpfs some love at chanel pfw

• here are some other pfw minor clownery. 🌸

a nice detail seen in his clothes/jacket are red and green flowers. you all know how we feel about red and green in this fandom. yeah, this must be a stylist’s choice blah blah blah but that just how cpns work. and it’s so cute too!

descendants of the sun parallel! please! you all know i’m weak for this shit. chenwei will always reign supreme, but what if chen yu decides to go full on army or whatever.

i also found it funny how fans are noticing the difference with their clothes. xz was revealing in his own way & wyb was all covered up. of course these are two different brands so the clothes and everything will not be the same. but that’s actually what’s good about them, how different they are. and yet— they complement each other really well and have the same values in life. they try and learn what the other person’s interest is so they can have a better relationship. 🤍

posing with their female seatmates 🤣🤣🤣

• a similarity we noticed too was that wyb was on his phone before the lacoste show, and it reminded us of how xz was doing the same at gucci mfw. i think we went 👀 because for xz, we were already clowning that he was messaging wyb or reading message from him then something similar happens to wyb. it could be a completely different thing and who can blame them for checking their phone while on “downtime” — but let us be with our fake story from these two incidents 😌😌😌

• on 3/5 chang feng po lang released a new character poster for wyb’s character wei ruolai. because of it, a new AU pairing was born. wei ruolai x patient #5. i swear. their characters look good together! some also pair wei ruolai up with xiao sa or chunsheng 😂😂😂

i have to say younger chunsheng before he went to military and ruolai match so well together!

• same answers on fashion week interviews: comfortable dressing & the color black

• another perspective on the coin that appeared in zz’s vlog - relation to wei ruolai and war of faith trailer this is further “proven” when wei ruolai’s character posted was revealed and he was tossing a coin. look, i know it’s highly unlikely that the whole concept was a way to tease us with WYB’s drama. but it’s a nice double meaning and more! 🪙🪙🪙

• since there is a new character out for one of them, another new AU pairing was born! wei ruolai x xiao chunsheng 🤍🤍🤍

• the two of them being featured at vogue website as stand outs during their respective fashion week appearances. it’s not really cpn but more on them being the power couple 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 and i’m just so proud of them. years later, they still shine so bright and it has no signs of even fading.

even with weibo engagement, both of them were on top during their respective events. no one could even come close. and why, it’s so hard for them to work together, or why no one would allow that to happen cause it will be game over. lol.

• our dearest tennis couple 🎾 ; this has become more prevalent in the fandom because of wyb’s lacoste ad!

• the inception possibility - tbh i’m just desperate to relate this movie to them and a cpn 😂😂😂

• the collab between cotti and dove - this is most likely a business movie that has no input from xz and wyb. these are big brands that take care of their company but what’s sus is how cotti posted the announcement of this collab at 10:05. you would think dove would be the one to do that since xz is their endorser. or they could use 10, 10:10 or 10:30 posting time which are equally usual time slots for brand announcements. but no. it feels intentional on their side to use that association. of course it led to some drama but we still made some lemonade out of it by going through some old endorsement CPN examples that was funnily enough, dug out by solo fans who are clowns themselves.

• some are clowning (slightly) over WYB’s alleged kadian a day after the cotti drama when he FW the post for olympics because it read a (14:38) lifetime zhanbo. but you all know how picky i am with kadians. the vcr was shared 14:30 so i guess he only had a narrow window to share, not sure if intentional or not. for me, personally, not everything is kadian. considering the topic too, this is a national/international event. i don’t think it should be used for cpn. i’d like to think WYB is more professional than we are. but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

• this bts video from war of faith! it shows wyb being active — moving around and doing some exercises. reminds us so much of how xz was like during SBMS bts that was released. they are so similar!

• GG’s weibo post the night before WoF premiere

• adding this to the list of brands they both use for their wardrobe: NANS. as usual disclaimer, these are clothes used in brand shoots and may have been chosen by hired stylist of the brand or their own. who knows. i just like archiving stuff like this, especially for lesser known brands that seem to only be worn by them. some examples below:

lesser known because XZ/WYB are so popular so you would expect them to wear name brands. if not, a company that the general public likes. on weibo, the brand only has 132k followers which is pretty low and they don’t repost photos of celebrities who used their clothes— nothing about WYB or XZ or anyone else.

• 3/21, premiere date of WoF, WYB shares a new trailer for the drama. The weibo account of WoF posted @ 9:58 and WYB on 10:06. So the CPN is, did he miss? was this supposed to be 10:05? considering what XZ did the day before with his post. Personally, i’m relieved that he didn’t do it 10:05 to prevent drama with his so/os because this time is crucial. we can’t afford these sensitive ass fans turning away from him and not supporting his work. he is too smart for that, he knows all too well how these things go.

I like this interpretation from cpfs that he didn’t miss, it’s yibo, if he wants to do it 10:05 he will. but he has limits right now, those who know (us cpfs) will get the meaning and understand him. and we do. we always do 💛

•xz molsion live show clues: lego/puzzles, camping and chasing dramas

• xiao zhan calling wyb lai lai ( fake rumor )

• 3/25 XZS post where the 380 yuan fan makes an appearance and the 8th picture significance

• 3/26 fake rumor 🗣️🗣️🗣️

wls wants xls to call him “gege”, xls didn’t, so wls tickled him, xls had no choice so he called wls “gege” softly, after he said it he blushed so hard, and wls didn’t allow us to look 👀.fake rumor don’t believe it

• 3/27 IQIYI livestream/ watch-a-long event with WYB and him smiling when the host said side by side in the snowy mountain part one . part two 💛💛💛

• 3/28 we got to see a VCR of ZZ and his style looks similar to Bobo’s

• new lounge wear brand cp! bananain x miiow 😍😍

• a cute coincidence that in episode 21 of WoF it is revealed that in his hometown, Wei Ruolai has a nickname: “gou gu zai” = Definition: Jiangxi dialect. Refers to a child who has just entered his youth. Young people, they are not deeply involved in the world, but they are full of energy. like a puppy, lively and noisy.

it is exactly like gouzaizai but that one is from Chongqing. i know this is a script and fiction, but the director himself said that when WYB went in as Ruolai, he was inspired by WYB’s personality irl. It also means we were all right, looking at Lai Lai as a puppy during the show.

it’s just so nice to know that GG already found out what WYB’s personality was like early on. that he is a puppy — and feeds more truth to the cpn that GG was the one who gave the 🦴 necklace. a bone for a puppy.

• XZ’s xinxiangyin live “clue” on what activities they do spending time outdoors

-END.

P.S: and that’s the 1st quarter of the year done! just like that! actually, a lot of things happened in the fandom and i’m happy that both the boys continue to be active and we always have content. i also wanna take this time to thank everyone who supports both of them + cpfs who interact with me & my posts i appreciate you! <3 i hope the community here continues to grow and we all have this safe space to be cpfs 🤍🤍🤍

<<< previous month

[bijoulilou]

soooo I re-read ACOSF, where everyone likes to bring up how Elain doesn’t fit in/belong to the night court because of how the typical night court attire—the black dress was washing her out and I’ll fitting. And it just goes to people not really reading the context.

Elain purposely dressed like that. It’s Cassian’s observation that paints the picture of Elain being plain for once. She’s not the one catching the attention of the crowd. Nesta is. Everyone has heard of her and marvels at how well she belongs there. Again this is the part Nesta has to play to make their plans successful. No one is SUPPOSED to pay attention to Elain. Afterwards she changes into something that does complement her and guess what night court colors—bam. Ya’ll petty but I got receipts 😂

Cassian also mention in the chapter or so before that Nesta had underestimated Elain and wrote her off as this complaint dog. But Cassian noticed that Elain is well aware of how people perceive her and notices everything. Observes everything.

And it makes sense, I mean look at the fandom for goodness sakes. People don’t like her just for being gentle and don’t really see that she tried to accommodate people and that the narrators Feyre/Nesta/Cassian have these preconceived notions of her UNTIL she says or does something and they question themselves—has Elain always been like this? Maybe they don’t know much about her. Except for Azriel and even Rhys but I’ll leave that alone. I’m all for a female protagonist who is kind and gentle, they don’t all have to be kick ass and bad ass. Not to say she can’t evolve and change but man are people quick to dislike and hate on it. And why? Do you know how hard it is for many to be kind, to choose positive and gentle when the world has been cruel and unyielding.

And yet Elain chooses to be that way. She has her moments of anger and rage and if you notice she probably does this when she’s alone. When Lucien gifted her gardening gloves she decided to ignore them and take out her anger and frustration in pulling the weeds and scratching up her hands. From Feyre and Nestas’s perspectives it’s obvious that their mom didn’t see Elain as anything abound her looks, but as an object. A doll. A tool to use and control. Nesta was their mom’s favorite and Feyre was tasked with taking care of her two older sisters because I’m guessing her mom didn’t think the other two could handle it. But it’s been hinted that Feyre was always seen as the more “feral” or unrefined of her sisters by the way Nesta treated her and Feyre’s recollections of their mother.

just saying if you’re willing to give Nesta a chance, give Elain chance and you might be surprised.

(and like not to draw from personal experiences, but I was in the military ya’ll. I used to be sweet and quiet before. But my time during I had to become tough and change. And after adapting to civilian life it was hard going back to that person I was before. To be optimistic and soft spoken instead of pessimistic and curt/direct. BUT just want to point out an example and probably the reason why I have a soft spot for Elain. Because it’s what I wish to see more the world. )

[miss0atae]

I finally watched the final episode of DFF and I can say the ending is very satisfying, except for my poor White. I thought he would be the final survivor but he died anyway (let me mourn in silence 😭).

▪️ Non was avenged for everything, if you believe death is the perfect revenge. Fluke and Top killed themselves in some way. White was killed by his lover. Phee stopped New and killed him too. Everyone killed each others and had to face Non before dying (except White because he never knew him and was innocent… Yes I still can't accept his death. 😅)

▪️ I know the ending of this episode was a bit controversial but I believe it was interesting. I like how they made us believe, at first, Phee, Jin and Tee got away from this house and carried on with their life (except Tee, but I want to talk about this after). The normalcy of Phee and Jin life seemed truly unlikely the more they talk to each other. The color was so bright, it hurt. It felt surreal. Then they went to the place where Phee brought his two lovers and after witnessing Non, he started questioning everything and it ended right here. There is no mistake. They never left and the final image is their last resting place: the house! I found this very poetic, in some way.

Now I wanna talk about each character's ending and if it was fitted with their behavior towards Non.

▪️ Fluke never did post the video and just witnessed everything and never tried to save Non. He believed himself to be innocent in some way, because he was never the one who did anything. He was just there, following the rest of the group. He was a coward and probably (I don't know if it was implied as heavily as viewers think) relieved the group had someone else to bully. His death was fitting to mee*. He wanted to act like he never saw anything, well he didn't need his eyes anymore. Why needing eyes when you want to be blind to everything that is not you. I also don't forget how much of a bully he was also to White (Have I told you how I was protective of him? 😂). He may have not been the meanest to Non but he became also like the rest of the group after Non's disappearance. I've heard a victim of bullying often becomes a bully and you can see it with Fluke.

▪️ Top was just a nasty being. He never had any ounce of kindness and I'm surprised he survived so long. I couldn't stand him. Every time I saw his smirk I got annoyed. He was an active bully against Non. He called him "Greasy" anytime he could. He lied and used him too. I also think he never really tried to cover his wrong doings. He never minded using the wit of others to save him. He never cared about ensuring their plans would work. He thought himself to be a leader but was mostly a follower. I think his death could have been worse. Something that would match his actions more.

▪️ White, my innocent poor boy who just made the mistake of loving the wrong person, he didn't deserve his death at all. He just wanted to spend time with Tee and love him. He was faithful, kind and a bit naughty but in the good way (the candy scene!). Dying by the hand of your lover… It's just sad. Tee killed him because he thought it was Non and when he realized it, it far too late. I don't like the narrative for White. He got punished for loving the wrong guy and it doesn't sit well with me. His mistake was a small one and it was also because he never had a way to know. I don't know how the writers could have saved him because it wouldn't work well in this story, but I still don't like it. I wish I could find a good ending for him that would go well with the story, but I can't imagine anything.

▪️ New died because of Phee and it was expected. As someone said here, he was a dead man walking. He had only one goal and no one to wait for him outside. His desperation was his only fuel. He wanted to avenge his brother and it didn't matter who was in the middle of this revenge. If he survived, it would have not worked. He had to die to put a final stop to this story. It's sad to believe his entire family and himself died because of a group of self-absorbed brats. He did what he had to and left with the feeling his work was done.

▪️ Now I have to talk about Phee… How the mighty have fallen. He was the previous lover and he acted like he wanted to avenge Non. His actions at the beginning of the story showed him to be the mastermind until we discovered it was New. From that moment, his actions seemed different and less pro-actives. He wanted to save Jin (which could be understandable because he was his lover… You know feelings and everything can get in the middle of a quest for truth) but why did he want to save the bullies of his past lover and even said he consider them as friends?! That's where I started to think Phee was lost. I admit he never said he wanted to act on them. He wanted the truth, while New wanted to make them pay. Phee probably would have given the info to the authorities and expected them to take the lead there.

▪️ Jin, in his hallucination, saw himself being filmed by others while he was having sex. It's a direct link to what he did to Non. He filmed him and released the clip online. He had a weird relationship with cameras. On one hand it was his hobby and on the other hand it was also a "weapon" he used to express his jealousy towards Non. He had a crush on him and he wanted him but instead Non was with Keng. He was jealous and felt betrayed (even though he never did anything to make his feelings really known by Non) and he wanted to hurt him the way he felt he was hurt by Non. So for him to hurt his hand was the appropriate punishment. Without a hand you can't act on your "ill-feelings" and you also lose the opportunity to use it for good things anymore (such as taking pictures as a form of art).

▪️ As for Tee, it was the most fitted punishment. He couldn't deserve the happiness of being loved and in love because of his actions because he had taken Non away from being loved and in love too. Losing the reason he started to act better and rethink his life, is a true retribution. I also felt his relationship with Non was the most interesting. There was this tension between them, especially when Non ended up at the service of his Uncle. Tee was in hell and instead of trying to find a way out, he dragged Non along with him, while still thinking he had no other choice. Tee grew up in a toxic environment, but we saw he could find a way out when surrounded with the right opportunity such as his meeting with White. The fact he met White, while finding a way to help Non get away from his Uncle is proof how "good" actions can lead to even better things while "bad" actions, like making Non being the scapegoat for the broke camera, leads to worse things. To be honest, the false ending of Jin, Phee and him being away from the house, is the best punishment for his actions if the idea is to really punish him. He is alive, but he has to live with the idea of killing his love and losing his so-called friends. He then get consumed by his thoughts. Very gothic!

To finish, I would like to say I had so much fun watching this series, reading about it here and writing the longest texts in English I've ever made. Even having people commenting on them and being able to exchange was truly a delight. I liked everything. I'm a bit sad it's already the end. I hope we'll get to watch the actors in other series. I found most of them to be good. I also like how this BL breached out of the typical BL's stories (even if I still enjoy them too). I like when they try to innovate and create something different. Let's hope we'll get another one soon as entertaining and compelling as this one. Thanks for the ride.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

💄🌙🌌

i just got a new lipstick the other day 😍 tbh this is something that’s been on my mind for so long 🤤

(and tbh i really wanted to make it so much longer but i had to remember it was supposed to be blurbs i was writing 😂)

Eddie always loved it when you showed him your new makeup.

The pretty blushes that always gave you a little more color. The shimmery eyeshadow that brightened your eyes. But his favorite thing without a doubt was seeing the new lipsticks you bought.

And you always let him test them out with you to see if they were a good fit. Thank god you went out shopping today.

You had gotten another gorgeous shade of deep red, Eddie couldn’t keep his eyes off of your lips all night. It hadn’t budged all night, even through dinner and a few sneaky make out sessions as you had wandered the mall. He was just happy he didn’t have to constantly be wiping away lipstick stains. This one may have been the perfect one.

“Alright gorgeous,” Eddie said as he opened the van door for you, “it’s lasted pretty good so far. Want to head up to our spot and give it one final test?”

You smiled as he shut your door,

“Of course! We have to make sure it’s perfect.”

He ran over to the drivers side and quickly got in, pulling out of the mall parking lot just as the sun had started to set, the sky changing to shades of gold and orange.

Eddie drove down the familiar path to your spot, and you couldn’t wait to see the view when you got there. It was always absolutely gorgeous at this time of night. A hilltop view of Hawkins, all the bright lights shingling beneath you as the stars twinkled above. Such a romantic spot, you never got tired of seeing it.

He parked the van in the same spot as always, backing up a few feet away from the edge for the two of you to get the best view of everything.

You both had left your seats and Eddie opened up the back doors, both of you taking your seats in the back against the little makeshift bed you had made. Soft scattered pillows and blankets and some battery operated lights and candles to make sure you weren’t in complete darkness. Eddie placed his arm around your shoulder and you leaned into his side, placing your hand onto his thigh as you looked out across town.

“You know,” You said to Eddie as your hand slowly moved up and down his thigh, “I never get tired of coming up here.”

“Me either,” You looked out across the sky, admiring the twinkling lights you’d seen so many times before, and yet it still felt like the first time you ever saw them, “it’s always so beautiful…”

Eddie looked down to you and swooned seeing the beautiful look on your face. So entranced with the view. He placed a quick kiss to your temple,

“You’re beautiful.”

You giggled,

“That was a little cheesy…”

“It was, wasn’t it?” He laughed with you and you settled into the bed in the back, laying yourselves against the pillows resting all along the back of the front seats.

Eddie’s arm slowly moved over your arm, bringing you closer into him, your arm draped over his stomach and your leg across his. He moved his other hand to carefully hold onto your thigh, his thumb tracing little patterns onto your skin. You could tell he was getting needier by the minute.

You glanced over to his watch to check the time as the sun set completely, the dark sky only making the lights below seem brighter. 9:48 pm.

“Eddie?” You asked as you looked up to him, your hand over his heart, feeling the soft beating getting faster as you said his name. How adorable.

“Yes, my love?” He was staring down directly at your painted lips. You could feel him adjust his body under you, the groin of his pants feeling tighter against him as it pressed into your leg. You knew exactly what he wanted.

“Ready to test this lipstick?”

“God, i thought you’d never ask-“ He sat up quickly and you giggled watching him struggle with the button and zipper of his pants. You loved how eager he always was.

You reached over and closed the back doors of the van and once you looked back Eddie had been laid back against the pillows, one hand behind his head and the other slowly stroking his cock. Already standing stiff, rock hard, no doubt from having you so close to him.

You slowly crawled between his legs, giving gentle kisses across his thighs and giggling each time you felt him twitch. You stared up to him with your sweet doe eyes and lowered your lips down, giving a gentle kiss to the tip, smiling as soon as you heard a groan escape his lips,

“Baby, please…” His chest was already heaving and his jean jacket had been tossed aside, the band shirt he had on underneath was scrunched just above his bellybutton.

Your eyes stayed on him and he watched your lips part, softly wrapping around the head and gently suckling, your tongue swirling little circles over it just to tease him further. Too much teasing always pushed him over the edge and that’s exactly what you wanted. You needed him to be aggressive. You needed him to be Eddie.

With one last gentle lick you could feel his fingers move through your scalp, collecting the hair at the sides of your head and holding it all back for you, not wanting you to get any messier than he was planning for. He carefully yanked your hair back to make you look up at him, leaning forward and looking into your eyes,

“Mouth. Open. Now.”

You nodded and did as he said, opening your pretty painted lips for him as he moved your head back down, carefully sliding his cock between your lips. A familiar feeling that you never tire of.

The head pressed against your tongue as it slid further down your throat before he pulled your hair taut, carefully pulling himself from your lips,

“Think you can get used to it quickly baby?”

You nodded once more, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips just thinking about the next few moments. Your hair gripped in his hand, his cock thrusting into your throat, and your nice pretty lipstick leaving little marks and streaks all along his groin.

It made your mouth water just thinking about it. And Eddie could see that too, smirking as he lowered your lips back down and slowly bobbed your head up and down his length, keeping a slow steady pace to let you adjust.

“That’s it baby girl, think you can take more?” He asked you through gritted teeth, doing such a good job holding back from losing himself. You looked up to him with a gaze that he knew meant ‘yes sir’. You even batted your eyelashes up at him to really let him know he was exactly what you wanted.

Your hands were placed gently onto his thighs to keep yourself balanced and you had a quick gasp of air leave your lungs as he plunged himself into your throat. You gagged, the tip of his cock just barely grazing over your reflex, and you could feel the tears pricking your eyes when you heard a little chuckle escape Eddie’s lips.

He could see the brand new lipstick you were wearing plastered all over your lips, messy and smeared, a few streaks on your cheeks and he could see the same colored stains on his cock. His favorite little touch had to be the spot right at the base of his cock, the perfect imprint of your top lip left behind.

“I think this is my new favorite color on you sweetheart…”

tags: @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian @gvf23

[icanseethefuture333]

hello, I'm your new follower, I saw your reading of Taeyong and Mark and I found it interesting because I already guessed it a long time ago, like your reading really accurate, I don't understand why many people don't agree with Mark's ideal type because it seems so obvious? Of course it's impossible for Mark to express his wild/dark desires openly, it's not like Mark wants someone completely innocent, can I ask you to read Johnny's? because from all of them I had a hard time guessing his because I think Johnny's placement is the type who looks like he likes something bold and pleasured but on the other hand is also safe and stable? if that makes sense. he looks picky but appreciates all the women around him and it becomes difficult to know the type of woman he really dreams of, thank you.

have a good day.

A reading on

Johnny from NCT's ideal type:

Qualities:

Johnny looks for someone who is able to rely on him during through the hard times, be tender and sincere, as well as being optimistic. He could like for his partner to be a bit clumsy and naive? Johnny finds this adorable. He could like for his partner to be able to cook or have traditional values such as wanting to have a family or fit the typical roles of a husband and wife. Someone with a warm presence and is naturally kind hearted by nature would win his heart. Johnny could be more reserved, so he would like for his partner to bring him out of his shell and be someone who is outgoing, friendly, and adventurous. He would like to travel or do fun, risky events with his partner (for example maybe bungee jumping or rock climbing?).

Personality:

What Johnny finds attractive in a partner is someone who is playful, smart, and open minded. He could find it attractive if his partner pretends to be innocent sexually or acts clueless like "omggg did I do that?🤭 I had no idea 👀😈" (channeled song: Oops! I Did It Again by Britney Spears) 👀😳. Johnny is more dominant by nature so he could like if his partner takes a more submissive role. Regardless, he still values his partner's thoughts and opinions, so someone who has good communication skills would be important to him as well. Johnny is turned off by someone who gets overly jealous and lacks trust, so he would want his partner to talk about their wants, needs, and fears with him. Emotional and intellectual intelligence is a big turn on for him (sapiosexual?). The desire to travel here is showing up again, he wants to see the world with his partner. Johnny would find it attractive if his partner tells him the stories of their life or anything about their culture.

Physical traits:

When I saw The Hanged Woman card I was shocked honestly because I was getting a vibe that Johnny wanted to say a few things sexually about his ideal type but was refraining himself from doing so and the cards said here is a confirmation 😂. For what he finds physically attractive is obviously someone with a nice figure or body. If they are curvy or have a "fertile" figure (Johnny did not like this term, I heard him say "ew", but thats what comes to mind when I think of this body type 💀), such as wider hips or hourglass frame, that would immediately draw his attention. Also a pretty ... um- (channeled song: Pussy Talk by City Girls ft. Doja Cat). He could also want to have a baby with someone and settle down soon.

Prefers someone who is feminine or identifies with those pronouns/gender

Athletic women (think of like girls who play volleyball, run track, etc)

Casual style or sporty chic

Toned muscles

Light or "no makeup" makeup looks

Natural beauty

Facial features that could be described as "elegant" or "sensual" (a mix of softness and sharpness in the bone structure. Rounder almond eyes and full lips)

Grown woman body (fully developed and done with puberty - curvy, wide hips being significant).

Nice backside (back, hips, and butt)

No preference regarding hair style, color, or texture ("What she decides to do with her hair is none my business, as long as she's happy, I just like when it's styled nicely." - Johnny)

No preference regarding skin color

"Fresh eyebrows"??? He likes when they're threaded or waxed.

Soft hands (this isn't so much about looks, but he likes the way they feel)

Pretty feet

Someone within his age group or slightly older.

Around his height or shorter

"I'm not picky as in when it comes to like what their racial background is and stuff, but more so how they keep up with their appearance and everything. I don't wanna sound shallow, but I prefer someone who's clean and dresses nice since I do the same. When can have our lazy days together at the house." (Channeled song: Best I Ever Had by Drake)

Celebrities/influencers who are similar to his ideal type: Cenit Nadir, Alisha Boe, Isabellemathersx, Jihyo, Lola Tung, Crystal Serrano, Marilyn Melo, Aisha Potter, Christy Turlington, & luna444

[ilikepjo24]

There's a post going around Tumblr about the color palette of your name (I saw @prodogg do it) and I tried it but my name has a very boring color palette so I did Atla characters instead.

Aang:

Okay! All of them are very bright colors that represent Aang's bright attitude and there's a dark shade at the top row which brings to mind the flaws of his character. Personally, I feel like that dark brown represents the guilt Aang feels for leaving. We also have some yellow and soft red, which are the colours of his outfit. There's some light grey that reminds me of his eyes and pretty light blue and beige, breezy light his element. We have some blue, some yellow, some green and some red. True Avatar core right there.

Katara:

Ohhh~ So many pretty blues! Blue eyes, blue clothes, blue nation, blue element and so on. Once again, I feel like the dark color in the third row represents the more bitter parts of Katara personality. Her small moments of jealousy, spite and harness. I also like how all the blues are different shades, some coming close to grey, others close to green and some being pure blue. The variety of shades really shows what I well rounded character she is.

Sokka:

Oh my... That's unexpected... There's only one shade of blue! But I can see some pretty browns and greys in there that are in his colour palette. I wonder why there are so many greens... Probably because he's one of the only characters that are grounded to earth 😂 maybe even a bit too much, seeing how he's always suspicious and doubtful. There are also some snow-like colours in here, which is fitting, seeing as he's from the Water Tribe 😎.

Suki:

That's a very interesting palette... The brown colours remind me of the Earth Kingdom, but there's a snowy white in there, probably because of how close Kyoshi Island is to the Southern Water Tribe. There's also a bit of green in there, even if it's greyish, and I couldn't help but notice those dark shades of red... Is it because she relocated in the Fire Nation after the war, and is currently working as Zuko's bodyguard? I also see a few really dark shades in those top corners, although I'm not surprised. Suki is a warrior through and through, and sometimes warriors have to do some ugly things to protect their homes.

Toph:

No surprises here! I like how Toph has more dark shades than other characters, since she's more in touch with her "dark side" after participating in secret wrestling matches and pulling all those scams. Many shades of green and brown, like her element and her country. But there's also some very light greens in there, so light that they could pass as white or grey, which is unlike the usual Earth Kingdom greens. I wonder if it's because she uses her bending in a much different way that all the other earthbenders, which makes her special. Or it could be because that's the color of her eyes.

Zuko:

That palette is an interesting one for sure. There are so many dark colours in here! And as we all know, the Prince of the Fire Nation didn't have a very happy life, or a very bright attitude. There's a dark brown-red in here and a dark blackish green, along with some blues and greys and a brownish gold. I wonder if it's because of his travels to all the four nations during his search for the Avatar. And I'm loving the references to the Blue Spirit with all those blues in there. Zuko's second, secret persona is a big deal for his character, since all the times we've seen him wear that mask, we've also gotten hints for his future redemption and friendships.

Azula:

Ah, there we go. My favorite girl! Right of the top we have some dark shades, fitting for s true vigilante. There's some brown-ish gold abd black, which brings her hair and eyes to mind. A pretty shade of red, for a true Fire Nation Princess. The lack of blue surprises me, seeing as her fire and her lighting are both blue... I guess the website must believe that she is much more than her bending. And there's quite a lot of green I see... Probably because her peak as a strategist and warrior was conquering Ba Sing Se and bringing the Earth Kingdom to its knees, all while wearing the iconic green Kyoshi Warrior uniform and the even more iconic green Earth Queen outfit.

[jasntodds]

Caving In [2]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,611 

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, descriptions of bruises (no colors, just shape and tint), mentions of sleep deprivation and some paranoia, mentions of death, mentions of the joker being the joker, there’s a teen wolf reference, a mention of being held captive and tortured, fluff, a mention of food being withheld

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: Hey, look chapter two up on time!! Things pick up in chapter 3, I promise!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ ​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

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The next morning comes around and you’re taking the time you have alone to shower. It’s barely four in the morning so no one else is awake and you’re pretty grateful for that right now. Before going to bed the night before, Rachel stopped back by your room and offered you some clothes she thought would fit okay for the following day. So, you’re the only one awake and figured it'd be really nice to have a proper shower for once. But the shower isn't the relaxing thing you expected.

This is the first time you’ve seen yourself in a mirror since being put into a basement for several months. It's the first time you’ve seen yourself at all but this is also the first time you’re getting a look at how the tower is seeing you. Your right eye has a deep bruise. It looks a little swollen still even though you feel like you can see fine out of it. The cut on your lip is still open and the cut on your cheek is red. Bruises in the shapes of fingers are dark on your biceps, right over the scar on your right bicep. Another bruise in the shape of a shoe is on your back. The more you look the more bruises you find and you wince, finally understanding all of the sympathetic looks you’ve gotten. Not that they know about the bruises across your back and stomach but they saw your arms.

You thought it was so weird Dick wanted to help but seeing yourself in the mirror, you completely understand because if you saw yourself on the street right now, you'd be livid and force that person to come with you. Your head hangs and it's kind of like you understand and a feeling of maybe wanting to tell them what happened comes over you.

If you tell them, maybe the looks will stop because you’re healing and they'll know. It's just kind of an elephant in the room as much you want to avoid it in your head, it's there. And every single time they look at you, they're just going to want the full story. The looks won't stop until they know. And all you can do is sigh because it’s four in the morning and sleeping for an hour has you feeling a lot more feelings that you ever really liked. So, you swallow the lump your throat and go for the shower.

After the shower, you find yourself in the kitchen looking for food. You find some cereal, Cheerios, and otp for that. At this point, you’re not going to complain about whatever cereal you have. Once you have your bowl, you move into the living room and turn the TV on, sitting on the floor at the small coffee table like you used to do when you were a kid. You find Avatar: The Last Airbender on one of the many streaming services connected to the TV and call yourself content.

You eat in peace watching a childhood favorite of yours and it feels easy. You feel at ease here and it feels like it could almost feel like home if you put in a real effort to give it a chance. If you could find a way in yourself to really trust these strangers. It'll be hard but maybe it'll be worth it, early mornings alone in front of TV with some cereal.

By the time six rolls around, the lack of sleep and paranoia has started to catch up to you. This place feels safe but it also feels too good to be true. There’s a little humming in the back of your head, telling you not to trust anyone because anyone can say they’re one thing and be the opposite. You used to be so trusting of people, not naïve or anything like that, but trusting of people in general but now, it’s hard to imagine people just being nice to be nice. What if you fall asleep, really get some sleep, and they turn on you? What if they’re working with him? And he comes to take you back? Maybe you’ll get lucky and everyone will leave the tower so you can get some real peaceful sleep. You’ve gone longer without sleep, you’ll be fine. You’re always fine.

"Good morning." Dick's voice scares you while you’re stood sink washing your bowl.

"Fuck," You groan, turning to look at him. "Do you always sneak up on people?"

Dick chuckles softly. "Sorry, it's a habit, I guess." Dick didn’t think he had been all that quiet.

You roll your eyes before going back to cleaning your dish you used for cereal. You haven't had cereal since you were put into foster care. It wasn't the best cereal or anything, you’re a Trix person but it was a lot better than the chicken noodle soup you’re used to. It felt almost nostalgic and you got to just sit in the living area, watching old cartoons you used to love as a kid, in peace. Until now, with Dick awake anyway.

"Right." You say softly.

Dick watches you from the back as he stands at the kitchen island, taking notice in the coffee cup sitting on the counter behind you and the empty coffee pot off to the side. You seem jumpy, though that might just be you. This is a new place to you and after whatever you’ve been through, it's fair to be a little jumpy but it makes him wonder.

"Did you sleep last night?" He asks, walking over to the coffee pot to make himself a pot.

"'Course." You lie, not looking up from the dish that is definitely clean by now but it's something to do with your hands.

Dick uses the sink to fill up the pot, you glancing at him for just a second. "Hmm." He hums. "More than an hour?"

You pause and let out a sigh. How long has he been doing this? You weren't saying he's good at it but how does he just know shit?

"No." Your voice is filled of shame. "I-i-it's weird, being here."

"It's okay." Dick reassures you as he gets his coffee going. "I didn't sleep much when Bruce brought me home, either."

You start drying your bowl, turning to face him. "What's he like? I mean....was he nice to you? You're here so..."

Dick nods and then shrugs. "He tried his best."

"That's a cop-out for saying he sucked." You raise your brows, resting the bowl to the side before grabbing the spoon and drying it. No one with good parental figures just says they tried their best. But, since Dick is here taking in strays that need help, maybe the Bruce guy didn’t do a terrible job. Even if this whole thing is weird.

Dick chuckles. "It wasn't all bad." Dick leans against the counter, facing you as he waits for his coffee.

"Must be nice." You mutter, a sense of envy comes over you. But it just slipped out. Being jealous doesn’t make a situation better. "Sorry."  You apologize.

"It's okay." Dick assures you. Dick knows he got lucky with Bruce even if Bruce wasn’t the best. Dick still got lucky. "Where ya from?" He asks, trying to change the subject a little bit but still find something out about you.

"Gotham." You roll your eyes. "Fit right in now with all the freaks Gotham breeds, huh?"

"You're not a freak." Dick says calmly.

"Mhm, sPeCiAl." You mock and then Dick catches the hit of a smirk on your face.

"You're a smartass, you know, that?"

You give him a cornered grin. "It's the only thing not damaged about me so far. Gotta hold onto it." You snicker to yourself. "What about you? San Fran?"

Dick shakes his head. "Gotham." Dick goes to grab his coffee that's finished brewing.

"Shut the fuck up." You scoff. Apparently, if people get to escape the hellscape of Gotham, they end up in San Francisco? Literally, across the country which, if you’re being honest, completely makes sense.

"Honest, so is Jason." Dick says, pouring his coffee into a mug.

"Gar?" You raise, wondering if everyone is just fleeing Gotham.

"Ohio."

"Rachel?"

"Michigan."

You hoped finding out where everyone was from would make more sense. Maybe Dick found a bunch of kids who needed to get the hell of out Gotham and brought them across the country? Something? But, finding out it’s just Jason, you’re back to this being weird.

“How did you end up with Gar and Rachel then?” You ask.

“I was detective in Detroit.” Dick explains. “That’s how Rachel found me and then we ended up in Ohio where she met Gar.”

“That somehow clears very little up but okay.” You nod your head. Why did he take Rachel to Ohio? And who the fuck leaves Gotham to go to Detroit? And how the hell did they end up here? Nothing makes sense but you’re just gonna let it go for now. "So, did you and Jason know each other then? Both from Gotham and ended up here, seems like under better circumstances than us."

Dick shakes his head, taking a sip from his mug. "No, we just...know the same guy."

You narrow your eyes at him, grabbing your own mug and taking a sip. Bruce. It sounds stupid to you because you’re just fishing for information now. But, Dick knows a Bruce from Gotham. Bruce Wayne lives in Gotham. Bruce Wayne adopted a Dick Grayson who, if rumor is right, became a detective. Jason can fight, assuming Dick can, too that's a bit weird. Gotham doesn't breed heroes usually.

"So....what? You both raised for Bruce Wayne or something?"

"What makes you think that?" Dick chuckles, wondering why you'd come to that conclusion.

"Your name is Dick and Bruce took in a kid named Dick Grayson like twenty years ago. Rumor was he left to become a detective or something." You state, taking another drink of your coffee. "Kind of public information."

"Yeah," Dick chuckles. "Yeah, Bruce Wayne took me in."

"Interesting." You hum, looking at your dark coffee.

You feel like you’re having a fever dream. You cannot possibly be talking to a fucking Robin. That doesn't make any sense and at this point, you’re completely convinced the sleep deprivation has kicked in. But you’ve done your share of research into Batman and Robin. It's always been this mystery. Who's behind the masks? You don't like mysteries and you could never figure out the motive behind them. Why start saving people if not to kill the real problems of Gotham? It's not like they were taking down petty thieves or something, they were dealing with real grade-A psychos. But, maybe Bruce Wayne makes sense. He has the money to pull it off.

"So...your thing is combat?" You question, silently fact-checking yourself.

"It is." Dick nods once.

"You're older than me...." You trail off and Dick watches you, waiting to see where exactly you’re going with this. He doesn't mind you figuring it out, but he does think it's interesting that you’re openly figuring it out in front of him. Maybe it'll help you trust him a little more.

There are tons of videos and pictures of Batman and Robin fighting the bad guys. One of your past times was watching the Robin-centric ones, something about him being a sidekick seemed odd. He always seemed to hold himself just fine and Batman didn't seem like he needed some sidekick. It was weird but you watched because you were curious who they were and how they could fight. But now you’re here with Dick Grayson who was raised by Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson is taking in kids with superpowers. And you always thought a new Robin came in at the end. Fighting style was different and there was a big height difference.

"Are you Robin and is Bruce Wayne Batman?" You ask, your voice is a little loud as if to not believe you’re asking that question.

Dick laughs. "You got me." Dick smiles at you. "I'm not Robin anymore, though."

"Jason, right? He took over?" You verify and if this were two years ago, you’d be freaking out. As much as you do not get the whole thing, it was still really cool to be in the same city as Robin and Batman. They’re actual heroes. But, this is now.

"He did." Dick nods, almost impressed you figured it out after less than a day of being at the tower. “How’d you figure it out? Was it that obvious?” He asks.

“No,” You let out a mix of a huff and a laugh. “It was more of a shot in the dark. You shoot enough times, you’re bound to hit something.”

“Alright.” Dick laughs softly. “Fair enough.”

"Cool." You say, pushing off of the counter you were leaning against, choosing to leave with this new information.

"That it?" Dick asks, amused by your reaction.

You pause with a shrug. "Yep." Your word is short and sharp as you go to walk away before stopping. Actually, it bothers you. At the end of the day, Dick Grayson, the original Robin is standing in front of you and it bothers you. It’s cool, of course because he was Robin but above everything, it doesn’t sit right. "Actually, I got a fucking question." You turn to face him.

"Okay." Dick gives you a questionable expression, not sure where the change of tone came from.

"Why didn't you guys just kill the fucking Joker?"

Dick looks down, almost as if he's ashamed of the answer. "We're heroes, we don't kill people."

"Right, okay," You suck in a breath, feeling the fire in your stomach boil and your hands growing warm. "So, as heroes, your response is to just keep letting that fucked up, psycho clown roam around Gotham and keep killing innocent people like some sort of sick Saw movie?" You snap, your voice raising with every word.

In some sick and vengeful way, after your mom was killed, you got it. In a way, you understood how people become villains. Not villains to the actual villains, but villains to the heroes because it is their job to protect those who cannot protect themselves. It is their job and allowing people like The Joker to just keep escaping and killing more and more and more people, that’s not heroism. It’s cowardly.

"It's not like that." Dick sighs, realizing this has backfired greatly. "We can't go around being the judge, jury, and executioner. It's a dangerous road you don't want to go down. Trust me."

"Right, except he didn't kill your parents, right?" You ask, feeling the water brim behind her eyes and then the feeling of hot coffee stings your hands, the mug melting with your grip. The rest of the mug slips from your hands, shattering on the floor.

"Hey," Dick puts his mug down quickly, rushing over to you.

"It's fine." You look at your hands, the glowing of green starts to fade. You walk over to the garbage, tossing the remainder of the mug into the trash. "I'll clean it up, sorry." You barely look at Dick as you grab paper towels, wetting them and ignoring the shaking of your hands.

You always thought you had a lot of control over it or that you would at least notice if you were using your powers but you didn’t. It’s shameful and embarrassing. It was an accident and accidents happen but the very idea of not being able to control your powers just because you’re mad is terrifying. What if you get mad at someone and use your powers and hurt them? 

"It's okay." Dick takes them from you. "I got it. Are you okay?" There are no hints of anger across his face or in his voice. He just looks worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You shake your head, no burn or blood in sight, your hands no longer glowing. "It doesn't hurt."

"What happened?" Gar asks, strolling into the kitchen, seeing you and Dick look like you were in the middle of something serious, although you were kind of hard to ignore. It got a little loud at the end of your argument. That’s why Gar is walking in.

"Dropped a mug." You keep your stare on Dick, lying to Gar. You brush past Dick and then past Gar. You just wanna run away from it all. Sometimes, things are too much and you wanna run as fast as your legs will let you go.

"Y/n." Dick calls.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, okay?" You stop just long enough to look back at Dick. "Just let me know when we're leaving." You mutter before walking back down the hallway and to your room.

Gar watches you and then looks back to Dick. He doesn't have any idea what he walked into and now he just feels awkward but he feels bad for you. You seemed really upset and you sounded upset when you were yelling at Dick. He heard you asking Dick if the Joker killed his parents. Of course, Gar knows what happened from last night but hearing that kind of reaction doesn't sit quite right. They're all just a bunch of kids. Kids who don't deserve to be in pain.

"You okay, Dick?" Gar asks walking over to him as Dick cleans up the spilled coffee.

"Yeah, it's okay, Gar." Dick assures him.

Gar nods. "What happened?"

"It was accident." Dick says.

"I mean...I heard you guys. I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up Rachel and Jason, too."

"Shit." Dick sighs, standing back up. "It'll be alright, she's just going through a lot. Just give her some time." Dick gives Gar a soft smile before throwing the paper towels away and grabbing a few more.

Gar nods, looking to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. Gar knows what it's like to be alone in grief. It's hard and scary. Even having someone to just sit with him would have been easier but he was just thrown into a manor with a bunch of older people who didn't get him. He was only even there because he could suddenly turn into a tiger. Maybe he should leave it alone but he can't. He just wants you to know it's going to be okay.

Gar grabs himself a bowl of cereal and makes a plant-based drink for the morning. He waits in the kitchen, slowly eating as Dick eats his own breakfast. Dick told him to leave you alone and he's not going to do that but he doesn't want Dick to know. He doesn't really like going against what an authority figure says, even though he does it anyway. It's more the getting caught that he doesn't like. But what else is he supposed to do?

After Dick leaves, Gar waits a few more minutes then hops off his chair and heads down the hallway. Dick went the opposite way so Gar walks with ease down the hall and to your room. The door is shut and he can hear the TV playing softly. He picks up his fist and knocks softly. He waits, shifting his weight from his toes to his heels, almost expecting you to either tell him to go away or open the door and slam it. But you don't.

"Hey." Gar gives you a kind smile as you open the door.

"H-hey?" You ask.

Gar sucks in a breath. "Are you okay?" He asks.

You deadpan. "I would be a hell of a lot better if I wasn't asked that again today." You snark, watching the disappointment in Gar's face. "I'm sorry. I--I-do you wanna come in?" You ask, opening the door fully and Gar nods, leaving the door open as he follows you to the couch you and Rachel sat on the night before. "I've got some issues with Robin and Batman." You admit as you sit down.

Gar looks a little too concerned for your liking so you talk. If you talk, maybe he won't be so concerned and a part of you wants to know if it's a you thing. Everyone always seem to love them both, Robin and Batman, and they can do no wrong, they even helped the GCPD. You have thought for a while that maybe your disdain isn't justified and maybe it's not. Maybe killing people, even people like the Joker is wrong but what else is there to do? Because Batman and Robin didn't do anything to fix Arkham. If they don't fix Arkham, what else is there to stop these people like the Joker who get out and they kill every single time without fail? It's like it's a sick little game. He's Jigsaw and Batman is the cop trying to find him, everyone else is stuck playing the Saw games.

Gar nods. "Because the Joker killed your parents?" Gar asks, pretending like he doesn't know anything. "I overheard."

You nod. "My mom. I-uh, I was...I was at the movies with a friend. I got the notification that Joker was out again...killing people....same place my mom was that night." Your chin wrinkles as you swallow the lump in your throat.

That moment, you knew. You called your mom a hundred times but there's a pit that forms in your stomach when you just know someone didn't make it. Someone you care for. It's not anxiety or being pessimistic, there is a pit that grows and you just know. You knew but you called and called and called. The phone rang and rang until it died. Gotham PD showed up on your friend's house the next day and told you. They wanted to take you and do the whole foster care situation right away but your friend's mom convinced them to give you a day with them first. You fled that night. The night your mom died was the last night you ever felt safe. It was the night you felt something that wasn't sad or angry. It was the last night you weren't haunted.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n." Gar's brows wrinkle, the knot in his stomach growing.

You nod, looking away from him as you try to breathe. "Had they just fucking killed him," Your voice breaks as you look back at Gar and you hate it because this is a weakness. You can't seem vulnerable, not around these people because the second you show your vulnerability, it's so much easy to be used and manipulated. But you can't help it. "She would be alive but they just....called Arkham good enough." You pause. "It's not fair." It’s a choked whine that leaves your throat.

You gasp as tears start to flow down your cheeks, the tears burning a few of the cuts on your cheek. Gar moves closer to you and he's hesitant at first because he doesn't know how you'll react but the only thing he knows how to maybe help is to hug you. So, he pulls you into him and wraps his arms around you tightly. You stiffen for a second and it stops you from crying. You haven't been hugged since the night your mom died. It's a weird feeling to have someone hug you but you'd be lying if it didn't feel comforting. And he's very warm and he smells like strawberries and that seems to be the most comforting.

Your favorite fruit is strawberries and every summer, you and your mom would make chocolate-covered strawberries. There isn't a time you can remember when you weren't completely stocked during the summer and it's something you cherish now.  Gar smells like strawberries and that small little thing, is the most comforting thing in the world to you right now. So, you just cave into him, sobbing.

The thing about being held captive and tortured is that it's made you hard. Being captured and tortured changed a part of you. You were never so closed off and calloused, always a bit sarcastic and snarky but not like this. Being held stripped you away of the rawness of emotion. It's like it turned you into this fossilized version of yourself. Hard and cold exterior that would just turn to dust if opened up. You’re only a memory of the person you used to be, sitting here and crying to Gar is just the visual representation of who you were before the big bang. And it hurts, it is agonizing but something about the way he's just letting you cry into him feels cathartic. You’re not in that basement anymore. Your wrists are free. You are free. And you can show all of your emotions without fear of repercussions from it. You’re allowed to be scared and angry and sad and happy. You don't have to hide anymore.

"S-sorry." You pull away, wiping your eye and wincing at the pain from the bruising of your right eye.

"It's okay." Gar assures you, still having his arms around you loosely. "I, uh, I get it." He looks away for a second, pulling his arms back as if realizing he doesn't need to hug you anymore. "My parents died, too."

You watch the normally cheery boy, square his jar and go distant with his stare. "I'm sorry." You sniffle. "What happened?"

Gar sucks in a breath, sitting back against the back of the couch. "Same mysterious disease I had but they didn't make it."

You nod, matching his position and tugging the sleeves over your hands. That explains part of how he ended here. He really doesn’t have anyone, just like you. "I'm really sorry. That sucks."

Gar nods. "Yeah, but, uh, it's okay because I'm here and this is a family. It's not the same but," Gar tilts his head back and forth a few times, looking for the words. "It's really nice if you give it a chance. Dick isn't out to get you or any of us." 

"I didn't mean what I said." You say honestly. "I mean, I want the Joker dead, he's a fucking piece of shit sad excuse of a human but...I mean just about Dick. He's been nice."

Gar offers you a side smile. "Yeah, he's a cool dude." Gar chuckles softly. “He kind of takes getting used to, too.” Gar jokes a little. Dick sometimes comes off as cold but Gar has kind of figured that’s just what being raised by Bruce gets you. Jason is like that, too and Gar doesn't think it’s a coincidence. 

"Thank you." You give him a sad and small smile. "You're like...a really nice person."

Gar huffs with a chuckle, looking away from you and all he can think is that someone has to be nice around here. Dick is sometimes...well a dick. Jason is an asshole. Rachel sometimes can be a little bit of a bitch to Dick and Jason, usually deserved but a bitch nonetheless. He has to be the nice one even if he wanted to get nasty. That would just cause more tension and Gar doesn't like tension.

"Thanks." Gar sighs, looking around your room. "Are you gonna decorate today?" He asks looking back to you, changing the subject and hoping to make you feel better.

You shrug a shoulder. "I dunno. Not sure if Dick really wants to take me shopping after that." You laugh softly. "I don't know how I feel about it, anyway. Feels....really fucking weird."

"Yeah," Gar nods in agreement. "But he just wants you to have a space of your own, that's what he told Rachel and me when he took us in. He'll give you a spending limit."

"Is this Annie or something?" You quip.

Gar tilts his head back with a laugh. "Well, it's a hard 'nough life for us." Gar says with a smile.

You let out a genuine laugh and it makes Gar's face light up. Your laugh is bubbly and loud, almost booming. It's a bit contagious actually and it makes Gar have a little bit of a sigh of relief. If you’re laughing, there's hope for you, especially after that whole talk you just had. You’re funny.

"You're funny, ya know?" You ask once your laughter calms down.

"Oh..." Gar shifts his sheet, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. "You, uh, you think so?" He gains a cheesy and awkward smile making you giggle a little.

"Yeah! Of course, I do." You smile sweetly at him.

"Hey, do you wanna play Xbox?" Gar asks, enthusiasm in his voice. He likes talking to you and you seem like you’re doing better talking. Plus, video games are what Gar always uses to escape from all the shit, maybe it’ll help you.

"I have literally never played Xbox in my life." You blink at him before gaining a smirk.

"Excuse me?" Gar's eyes widen. How have you never played Xbox? He's certain it's the best gaming system to exist.

"Always a big fan of PlayStation." You laugh, finding his shocked expression funny. He does wear his emotions on his sleeve. "But...I guess I could make an exception for you." You give him a corned grin, watching him shift again. Something about certain things you say make him nervous and you kind of like the bubbles that form in your stomach when it happens.

"Okay, okay." Gar stands up quickly, gesturing for your to follow his lead. "I'll change your mind."

You do as he directs. "You have a lot of confidence." You pat his shoulder.

Gar's eyes narrow slightly. "I...can't tell if you're being serious."

You laugh once more. "Eh, half and half." You shrug a shoulder.

"Right." Gar nods, keeping his eyes narrow but there's a smile tugging at his lips. "Come on." He nods his head in the direction of the door, reaching for your hand. You take it without hesitation and he leads you  to his room.

The day goes by, Dick looking for you, he finds you with Gar in his room a few hours later. You had left the door open so it wasn't too hard to find you. You were both yelling, very excitedly at the TV and when Dick found you, you were plopped in two chairs beside each other, a control in each hand. You both were laughing and Dick never would have known you were new to the tower by how comfortable you looked and it gave him some hope. There's some type of hope for you. No one is ever just some lost cause. Dick hated to break it up but Jason and Rachel were already waiting for Gar in the training room.

While the others trained, Dick and you went on your shopping run. Dick took you to a few stores to pick out a few outfits, pajamas, training clothes, and just a few things for your room. It was weird for you to just be out in the open, shopping as if you weren't just held captive the day before. But, something about Dick did feel safe. Maybe it was the fact he was Robin. He might have helped the Joker stay alive by simply not killing him, but he did put him away several times. And, now you have somewhere to run to if Jerry happens to show up.

But that's not all. It was just bizarre to have this stranger buy you things. You were never one that really liked accepting things from people like this. Presents, sure. Everyone likes presents but this just felt like charity and it took everything in you to refrain from snarky comments the whole time. But you did it and you had a good time. You got some take out and you got to actually have one of your favorite take out foods. Dick didn't ask about how much you lit up at the thought of it for lunch, he already had an idea why. He figured maybe it'd be better to leave all of that alone and just have a few hours to let you just be.

"So," Dick asks as he drives them back to the tower.

"So." You state, looking over at him. He just has this look like he wants to ask questions. "Okay." You sigh. "Ask the question you want and I will not give you a bullshit answer."

Dick chuckles. "Alright," He nods. "How much control do you have of your powers?"

You look ahead of them as your light turns red. "This much." You open the palms of your hands, the palms turning green. Then, you close them, the green fading. You do this a few times with ease, ending with spirit fingers, your hands glowing a neon green. "Why?"

Dick's brows are furrowed. "Just curious, how do you do that?" He pauses. "What about the mug this morning?"

"Control or the whole acid thing?" You shrug, looking in front of you. "And apparently, my mom and the Joker are major triggers, learn something new every day, I guess."

"Understandable. And both, I guess."

"Uh...control well. I was traumatized." You scoff. "Control is easy when you're in a life or death situation. I mean...like learning it. Don't have a fucking choice if you wanna live. The acid though, uh-huh." You shrug. "I think about it I guess and then it just happens."

You remember when you found out you could produce acid. You were mad at Jerry for injecting you and then getting mad at you for it. It was about seven months after living with him and at that point, you were just so sick and tired of it all. All you wanted was to rip Jerry’s throat out with your bare hands. And then, your hands starting glowing, acid leaking from your palms. It was a shock, for sure, but it was a bigger shock that Jerry didn’t realize the chemical burn on the floor was from you. He just thought he spilled something and hadn’t noticed it prior. You considered some kind of weird luck. From there, it was just making sure it never happened in front of him.

Dick hums to himself. "Think you could try and show Rachel how you control it?"

"Uh...sure?" You question him. "Isn't that like...your job, Bat Boy?"

"I don't have powers like you guys." Dick states, the light turning green. "Rachel's powers are just really strong and she's had a lot happen recently."

"I have heard." You sigh. "I mean...I can try." There's a sense of empowerment you feel with Dick asking for help with Rachel. He trusts you, at least a little bit which is kind of nice. "I-it's just...I-I melted a mug today. I don't have that much control, apparently."

He nods with understanding. "You have enough to help."

"Well, alright then. Does that mean I get to learn to fight?" You give him a hopeful smile. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Great." You give him a thumbs-up even though he’s watching the road.

"Are you lying?"

"Yes, yes I am." You laugh softly. "Uh....my face is still pretty sore. Arms and legs still feel a bit weak...." Your eyes go distant as you stare in front of you, flashbacks of the torture clouding your vision and the endless cycle of either not being given food or given the bare minimum.

"You need to get better first." Dick states, his voice unwavering.

"Shouldn't I still be preparing though? Like...I don't know. Small stuff."

"Not yet."

You sigh but don't fight him. Jason owes you one for the bet. If Dick doesn't think you’re strong enough to at least learn something, you'll just ask him. He don't seem like one to follow the rules anyway. It’s just a precaution to protect yourself, just in case.

When you get back to the tower, Dick helps you bring your stuff to your room. It's not a lot by any means, just some clothes, a few vinyls, and some art for your walls. Dick leaves you to yourself and you look around your room, gaining a genuine, happy smile. This is your space to make yours so you get to work.

You dig out a Fall Out Boy vinyl from one of the bags and put it on the record player that was already in your room. You turn it up as loud as it will go, the sound of music feeling almost riveting. Another thing you’ve missed more than you actually realized and then you start getting your room together.

A few hours go by and your room is coming along. You’ve moved a few things around and got your posters hung up. It doesn't feel quite like home yet but Dick said if you stay, you can get more stuff to make it more yours later. So, this is a start and it fills your chest with a sense of warmth as you look around until there's a knock on your door. You turn the music down before opening the door and you’re met by Gar in a green pullover and black joggers.

Gar's eyes glance behind tiy and then back to you. "Hey, uh." He scratches the back of his neck. "We do movie night in the living room sometimes, did you wanna join? Rachel and Jason are in there now."

"Uh..." You stutter. They do movie nights? Is this really some found family shit? The way everyone talks about Jason you find it a little hard to believe he'd actually part-take in any group activity that didn't involve punching each other. But you don't have anything to lose. If you want to stay, that also involves effort from you and Gar will be there. "Sure." You give a soft smile before walking over to your bed and grabbing Gar's hoodie. "Thanks." You hand it back to him and he gives you a closed smile, raising the fabric to say you’re welcome.

"Anytime." Gar smiles, jerking his head towards the living room. "I'm gonna put this away, meet you in here?"

"Okay." You say with ease before turning on your heels, heading down the hallway and Gar can't help but watch you with a goofy smile.

You just have on black sweatpants and a pink hoodie but you look comfortable and you didn't look annoyed when you opened the door. That seems to be your general state of mind, annoyed. From what Gar has seen. Of course, you’ve loosened up when he's talked to you but you always looks very annoyed beforehand.

You walk into the living room seeing Rachel all the way to the left and Jason sitting all the way to the right, facing the fireplace. They truly could not be any more apart, eyes on the TV that's mounted above the fireplace and you find it a little comedic. They must really hate each other. So, you take a seat by Jason, mostly because you think it's funny to bug him and you could just tell sitting by him would irritate him. Plus, that leaves room for Gar to sit on the other side between you and Rachel.

"Can I fucking help you?" Jason snarks as he looks to you.

"What're we watching?" You ask, an innocent smile pulling at your lips.

"It's Jason's turn so probably something gory." Rachel remarks with wide eyes laced with annoyance.

Jason turns to face you, which moves him a little too close to you. His eyes look you up and down, just once before landing on your eyes. "Don't worry, if you get scared, I'll protect you."

Rachel nearly rolls her eyes into the back of her head with Jason's comment, fake gagging while you sit with your mouth slightly ajar, nose scrunched and forehead wrinkled. You sit somewhere between appalled and grossed out. This kid surely has never dated a single human. There's just no fucking way with the lines he pulls. But you shut your eyes for a second, choosing to not even play into that game. Instead, you’re gonna play your own.

"What movies were you thinking?" You ask, matching Jason's position, knee bent and flat on the couch, you facing him as your knees touch.

Jason gains a smirk in just the left corner of his mouth. "We could watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, or Saw IV."

His stare is directly at you and it's a taunt. But you find it funny, not even bothered by the distaste of his comment, in fact, he plays into your hand. He thinks you need protecting from a horror movie and that of all people here, you'd go to him? When Gar is right there?

"Texas is a classic, assuming you don't mean the shitty ass remake from 2003. Hostel's alright if you're into Eli Roth. Saw series has always been good gore. Never quite cross that line into torture porn." You smile at him, it's a sweet smile while you lean your elbow on the back of the couch and Rachel sits behind you completely entertained. All she can think is that they needed someone who can match Jason's energy.

Jason's face softens, just for a split second. Your response caught him off guard and he was so sure you'd be against watching any of those. He thought maybe he'd get a rise out of you for suggesting them or offering to protect you or maybe get something better than that out of it. But all he got was whatever that was. It was his turn and those were the three he was considering but Gar and Rachel don't really like the movies. He assumed you wouldn't either, especially if what they found on the computer the night before means what they think it means.

Gar comes in a few seconds later, seeing you and Jason facing each other in a way that almost seems like some weird face-off staring contest at this point. He glances at Rachel who shrugs but she has a smirk that's begging to be broken into a laugh. Just a tint of burning coats Gar's stomach as he sees the two of you and he knows what it is but he pushes it down. He shakes his head and walks up to you.

"Everything okay?" He asks, his voice cautious as he looks between the two of you before sitting on the opposite side of you.

"Fine," Jason mumbles, finally breaking the stare and sitting normally on the couch before grabbing the remote. "Saw it is."

"Ugh, why do you always pick gory movies, dude?" Gar groans, tilting his head back.

"Don't like gore?" You ask with a laugh.

"You do?!" Gar's head shoots back up, a grimace on his face. He doesn't mind it in older films, the effects weren't great then. But the newer ones tend to turn his stomach. Horror is great, but gore? Not Gar's favorite.

"Yeah, of course. They're fun." You shrug, switching to sit forward, pulling your legs up under you and Gar keeps the grimace on his face. "What?"

"He doesn't know why anyone wants to volunteer to watch gore." Rachel snickers.

"Because you can shut the movie off whenever you get too scared and the effects are cool." You shrug and it makes Gar give you a shy smile. "I can hold your hand if you want?" If you said it to Jason, it would have been sarcastic and rude but with Gar, it was a genuine and sincere offer.

Gar's cheeks burn with the offer and his stomach flips, unlike you and Rachel, he didn't find the offer a bit cringey or lame. Your smile is gentle and sweet like honey until you realize that you just pulled what Jason did and it seems you realize it the same time Jason does.

"Did you just take my fucking line?" Jason scoffs.

"No, yours was weird, mine was nice." You retort, internally kicking yourself for it.

"It's okay." Gar whisper, shifting in his seat a little. He was never really good about things that might be flirting or not flirting and just being nice. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." You smile softly at him, your heart sinking a little.

"Okay, turn on the movie." Rachel looks between the three of you, not sure what the hell is going on there and not even wanting to know.

Jason turns the movie on without any further argument. The four of you settle into your spots as the movie starts to play and despite the fact you’ve been at the tower for just over twenty-four hours now, you feeling pretty comfortable around them. The three of them make it easy. None of them feel threatening, even with two of them having powers. They don't feel "special" as Dick put it. All three of them just feel normal and normalcy is something you’ve craved for two years.

And then there's Gar who can't keep his eyes on the moving, partially because he finds the gore a bit nauseating but also because he can feel you glance at him every now and then. He can't tell if the glances are because he doesn't like the movie so maybe you’re checking on him which is a strange thought, that's kind of his job. Or maybe it's because he's sitting too close to you, he doesn't feel like he is. When Gar looks over, it looks like he's sitting just as far away as Jason is so maybe that isn't it. The one thing he does know is that he doesn't mind you glancing at him.

The lack of sleep for you, however, is definitely catching up to you. Your eyes are weighed down, heart rate is slowing down and you just feel like maybe you could rest your eyes for a few minutes. Saw IV isn't even one of your favorite Saw movies, you won't miss much. And the next thing Gar knows, your head falls onto his shoulder. He straightens his back quickly when it happens, catching him off guard but then he looks at you, asleep and he doesn't have the heart to wake you up. A caring small comes to Gar's lips as he looks back to the TV and he kind of likes your head on his shoulder. Maybe it means you trust him and after everything, he can only imagine what you’ve been through, that's kind of a big deal on day two.

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[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[the-little-moment]

The Dress

@freesia-writes super cute Crosshair fic inspired me to finally post this Echo/Senna one shot I wrote last year. It was going to be part of "Carcass" but I didn't think it fit the vibe. And the trope is so, well, tropey. 😂 Anyway, enjoy!

Echo has never had an opinion on flowers, never even really noticed them, until now.

Words: 822

Warnings: None

“Cid will die for this,” Senna gritted out, looking down at the fat bundle of plum-colored fabric in her hands. 

“It can’t be that bad,” Echo encouraged from beyond the fresher door. “And it’s just for one night.” 

The doctor glared at her reflection in the dirty mirror. Changing into a gown in the tiny fresher was going to be a nightmare that she was dreading already. “Would you like to wear it then?”

“Somehow I don’t think that’d have the desired effect.” 

“I don’t know, I think you’d be very distracting!” 

Echo was chuckling when the fresher door hissed open, revealing a deeply disgruntled Senna. 

“Do I get to see it?” He stepped back to let her out into the small hall of the Marauder. 

“Not until it’s absolutely unavoidable.”

“Something to look forward to then.”

Senna rounded on the pale clone, sticking out a finger in accusation. “Don’t you dare enjoy this. This is just what I needed to really round out my month, public humiliation.” 

Echo raised his hand and scomp in a placating gesture, but she could see he was biting back a grin. 

“Sen, you look…really nice.”

“No,” the doctor sighed. “But thank you anyway.”

“You really don’t think so?”

“Let’s just say that mine and Cid’s tastes differ.”

Echo snorted. “Can’t imagine that’s a bad thing.” 

It was the evening of the party in the sparkling city of Canto Bight and Echo was waiting with Senna while the others finished scoping out the lavish hotel that the doctor would be infiltrating. From the outside, it would be a gathering like any other, but Cid had told them that information was changing hands that night, information that was very valuable to the Trandoshan. If they completed this job, they'd be eating well. And Senna was the only one of them who could really blend in. 

Echo looked at her softly for a moment, taking in the smooth, brown skin of her bare arms. She’d look perfect in anything. “Well, what would you wear if you could choose?”

Senna frowned as she adjusted an earring. “I wouldn’t be going if it was my choice.”

“That’s a given. I meant more like, to something you actually wanted to attend.”

That made the doctor smile wistfully. She turned her back and lifted the fall of her hair so Echo could see the 99 on her shoulder blade. “Can you do the little hook at the top? Those things are literally impossible.”

Echo held his breath as his fingers brushed against her spine. He had to pull his glove off in order to get the infinitesimally tiny hook through the even more stupidly small loop, grunting in satisfaction when it caught. Add that to the list of things that would be easier with two hands. 

“When I was in school on Corrie, we had this dance every year. I only went once, because I was too busy the other years, but my roommate begged me. Anyway, my dress for that was probably my favorite thing I’ve ever worn.” She turned back to face him.

“What was it?” 

“It was—well actually it was about the same color as your Five-Oh-First armor, and it came down to the floor. There was a pattern of gold, four-point stars on the skirt. High collar, but sleeveless and no back.”

Echo swallowed. “Right. That sounds…”

“It was more my style than all this fluff,” the doctor sighed as she tried again to smooth down the gown’s exuberant skirt. 

“Well, I still say you look nice. Kinda like a flower.”

Senna smiled up at him. “A big, fluffy, purple flower named Sen.”

Echo was supposed to be keeping an eye on their target, but he was having trouble keeping his attention from wandering to a certain fluffy flower who was currently doing what he thought was an impressive job of playing the wealthy socialite. No one there would be able to guess that, only hours earlier, Senna had been changing in a tiny fresher on a beat up military shuttle.

He’d never seen her like this before, sparkling, with all of those genteel mannerisms she must have used in her life before Kamino. She’d always been elegant, with her Bar’lethi accent and gentle poise, but this was something else. Something she must not have needed for a long time now. 

The thought of her in the blue dress drifted across his mind. He would have paid good credits to see her in 501st blue, although it was difficult to imagine her looking more beautiful than she did right now. He barely managed not to jump when Hunter’s dry voice came through his comm. 

“Enjoying the view, Corporal?”

Echo was glad Hunter couldn’t see him grimace. “Just keeping an eye on…the situation.”

“Uh huh. Tech’s got eyes on Senna. You focus on our special friend.”

A sigh welled up inside Echo, but he wasn’t going to give Hunter the satisfaction of hearing it. It was going to be a long night.

[fyeahnix]

So I wrote "Dogsong," my first Sevika/Reader fic and I kinda just wanted to blab about what went into it, especially since I started writing it in January.

I dunno how this came about but last November or so, I was like "man I'm bored and I need more fanfics to read. What about Arcane? Wait does anyone even ship that chick Sevika with anyone?" Found out that the most popular ship for her was Reader fics 🙃

Before this, I started seeing fanart of her and was like "hmmm....uhhh actually she's kinda hot???" And this is funny because my friend sent me a screenshot of me literally wondering how anyone even likes her ass.

Boy was I so fucking wrong.

Anyway I started reading a bunch of Sevika/Reader fics on AO3 and instantly fell in love with all the differing portrayals of her. This side character who can beat the shit out of people and barely talks had a dedicated ass following of people who loved to portray her as soft. How could I not love that? I decided I really wanted to write my own portrayal so I rewatched Arcane on New Year's Eve (while suffering through horrible caffeine withdrawal, worst headache of my life...). I took notes.

Whenever I write for a new fandom, I always wanna portray the characters as closely to canon as possible while still allowing some freedom for headcanon and extrapolation. So I study dialogue, tone of voice, body language, manner of speaking, etc. It's fun tbh.

My goal for this was to write a Sevika who is feared in the streets as she is in Arcane, but show a side of her we don't get to see. Loving, adorable with her girl, a little bit of a tease with some humor. Just a "wtf that's Sevika?!" type deal.

My main HC for her is that Sevika really is a gigantic teddy bear with her girlfriend. And I'm so fucking glad I had that exact thought because I didn't think of the pet name "bear" for her until I was literally watching The Bear almost two weeks ago. It fit perfectly 😂

Smut wise, I love sadistic Sevika but after listening to The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book for BDSM, it got me thinking more deeply about how to portray the dynamic. My previous thought process around sadism was flawed. And I wanted to correct it. So I had Sevika's sadism be less "mean" and brutal. Not sure what words fit here but I hope that was evident!

Last thing about Sevika: I personally don't like the descriptor for her being a brute. I know that's official in Arcane but ugh...

It just rubs me the wrong way as it has such a negative connotation and definition. And I especially don't like that it's tied to a woman of color in her position. Yes, she's tough and can beat your ass, but we've seen how good she is at manipulation and how she commands respect. This is a strong reason as to why I went with the softer route for her. Reader sees a side of her that literally no one else does. She was the person that stepped in and told that guy in the bar to fuck off and then walked Reader home afterwards. Like look at her 🥺

Speaking of Reader, this poor soul started off as more of a blank slate but it wasn't until I really wanted a backstory for her that she lowkey became a bit of an OC. I spoke about this before, but I typically never think of myself as the Reader when I read Canon/Reader fics. I've always seen it the same way I see the player character in RPGs—a bit of set backstory but enough characterization to make them yours. And that's how I wanted this Reader to feel. If I do add any future installments, I want that to remain the same. I'm sure there are some folks out there who like to imagine themselves in that role so I deliberately chose to leave out physical characteristics as much as possible within reason. I just hope it was enough!

Also if you're wondering why I have Sevika speaking two languages...it's more of a "if you know you know" type thing. Her VA is Afro-Latina and speaks fluent Spanish and I liked the idea of that HC being a small character thing as well as an Easter egg. I have more to add on that note but I'll save that for a potential chapter 2.....

I don't wanna concretely say I'll be making updates as I've traditionally been bad about longer fics but I do have some very solid ideas for at least two more parts. :]

Thanks to everyone who's read and supported so far.

[hanafubukki]

Silver's Flower Bouquet Meaning

Twst Bdays Flower Language Masterlist

*stares at the title* You have no idea how much I just want to put Silver Vanrouge as the title of this post. You have no Idea, I might still go back and do it. He is Silver Vanrouge in my heart and will always will be (or whatever combination of last names he takes up in the future).

Just as a precaution, I will be adding possible theories along the way and will be mentioning book 7 too and other cards that have been released, so heed spoilers for book 7 and cards that might have not released yet. I swear Diasomia just makes my mind go brr and I have no chill at all (or limit on word count).

This card is literally everything and more when it comes to Silver. We get his rare expressions and I love it. His fond smile that he has for family and then the surprised look he has in the groovy is perfect.

As with the other Birthday cards in twst, we can see the progress in each character (especially their relationship with MC). We can see how each one basically goes through a character development, and surely Silver is going through one as well.

For someone who has always had trouble with his emotions, it really comes out when it deals with those he loves. As we see in Endless Halloween, when he got mad at Lilia, as is rightly deserved. In book 7, we see a variety of emotions, but mostly sadness again due to Lilia. Other events include, masquerade and fair gala if. Otherwise, he always has a straight forward, nice, and truthful manner to the surprise of the NRC student 😂😂

A part of me theorizes that this is due to the fact that Lilia taught him to be such a way. He raised Silver to be someone who is the total opposite of him: someone without blood on his hands, someone who does not have to kill, someone with a family, who is not corrupt, and the list goes on. The opposite of what Lilia never was and never will be. We can also see how Silver has light symbolism while Lilia has dark as well. (I swear I had the perfect line thought up but then mind went blank because I got distracted, damnit).

Yes, Silver is Malleus' guard, but a part of me believe that Lilia thought Silver will be protected by Malleus and Sebek. After all, a human is only so powerful. That is also why Lilia trained Silver and Sebek the way he did.

Now to go back to the point about Silver always being truthful, Fae in many lore cannot lie. Hence, they are masters in manipulation and can twist words to their advantage. I believe that was why Silver was raised to be truthful because Fae cannot and look down on those who try to do so with them. (I mean, can we ever say Sebek has not been truthful?)

Also the last name aspect, names have power in Fae lore so that could be a reason why Silver doesn't have a last name (A father must protect his son after all, be him human or not). Another reason is that Lilia didn't want Silver to have the burden that comes with the name of "Vanrouge" even though we know Silver would be proud to have it. Plus, we don't know who SIlver's true family is and I believe Lilia did not want to take that option away from Silver. Let Silver decide his last name when the time comes. Let him be truly unbiased in choosing his name.

Let's try and not think about the insecurities that Silver might have faced (and still does) when he realized that he had no last name and Lilia did not give him his and can he be selfish to ask more of Lilia when he gave him so much already? Though Silver's heart probably still breaks because ...does Lilia consider him family when he won't give him his last name...anyways let's continue on before I got down that endless vortex.

When I first looked at Silver's bouquet, it reminded me of a wedding bouquet because of all the white. But given that white is usually seen as a color that depicts innocence, pure, and so forth. It fits Silver pretty well. He is the light in the darkness. The light among the dark fae.

Like with Malleus' Bouquet card, Twst has once again made some interesting moves. They are releasing Book 7 part 3 at the end of May. Which can signify what may come and how Silver may play a role. This goes to show that Malleus and Silver does have parallels as we've saw with Malleus Bouquet card and Silver Dorm card being released in the same month. Another commonality is both being raised by Lilia as well and whom is loved dearly by these two. (and Sebek is in the middle of family drama lol)

As we saw with Malleus' bouquet, his cards attributes are similar to Idia's. With Idia being Silver's Duo (which is surpassing because its a repeat I believe?), it stresses the role Ignihyde will play in book 7. I mean we've all seen Ortho's new card right? It already begins.

Now, lets talk about Flowers 🌺💚🌺💚

[As usual, my disclaimer from before stands, flowers have many different meanings depending on region and color, so the meanings I have might differ from the meanings you know.]

Flower Colors (general meaning): 

Green Flowers: Health, resilience, good fortune, and youth. It goes to say that these traits fit Silver perfectly.

White Flowers:  True love, purity, innocence, sympathy.  As someone with Aurora's characteristics and being raised the way he was, these flowers (and the bouquet as a whole) fits Silver perfectly.

Bouquet:

White Rose: Reverence, remembrance, homage to a new start and expresses hope for a new future, devotion and innocence. The white rose has a special place in my heart because we see it in Lilia's Groom and Birthday bouquet card. The fact that we see this flower in Silver's card gives it new meaning as well as represents Lilia in Silver's bouquet. (Actually, there are two other flowers that show up in Silver's bouquet that was in Lilia's bouquet. The love and parallels between father and son has my heart I swear.) Another thing to note, in many asian cultures White represents purity and grief as that is a color you use in funerals. Now, does that represent Lilia or Silver? Only time will tell.

White Tulips: Lost love, forgive me, forgiveness, respect, purity and honor. This flower has a loaded meaning and can represent many aspects of Book 7. It could talk about SIlver's parents or Lilia, could talk about an act yet to be made, and as seen, it has many traits that symbolize Silver as well.

Gardenias: Purity, divine, awareness, and gentleness. Silver has the title of Knight of Dreams so this could be a hint at his Unique Magic.

Evergreen Candytuft: Indifference and stoicism but could also mean joy, beauty, and sweetness. This flower symbolizes the difficulties Silver faces. He had trouble expressing himself and sometimes comes off as indifferent or lacking emotion. In his Dorm card, he tries to change that. On the other hand, this flower also shows the qualities we all already know about him: his beauty and how prince like he is. One of the uses of this flower that I found that was funny to me was that they often use this flower to combat heartburn. Lilia complained about stomach issues in the fireworks event and I don't doubt that Lilia's cooking can cause...acid.

White Carnation: Love, good luck, purity, devotion, mother's love (well, it was woman's love to be put exactly) and pure affection. This is another flower that is also in Lilia's Bouquet. So we can say this flower represents Lilia's love for Silver, especially with the meaning of "mother's love." This flower also has my heart because of the recent Twst radio talk where the VA's state that Lilia is both the mother and father to the Diasomnia boys. White flowers in Japan can also represents mothers as well. I headcanon that Lilia gave this flower to Silver.

Crystallofolia: Its also called Frost flower. These flowers form during the winter on the stems. You can sometimes see them in autumn as well. Fun fact, you can see imagery of these flowers in greek art as well.

White Peonies: Shame, shyness, and apology. good luck, prosperity, also know as the ‘king of flower in Japan’ and is known for bravery and honor. Peonies can last over a hundred years, often outliving the ones who planted them. This is another flower that was also in Lilia's bouquet. We can see how the meanings can apply to both Lilia and Silver. Silver for Bravery and Honor. Lilia and how he might have possibly lived longer than Silver at one point, now we don't know how much longer he has left. Shame because Silver wanted to be there by his father's side but he couldn't because Lilia is emotionally stubborn. Another headcannon I have is that Silver would plant this flower for Lilia, so Lilia would always remember him as well as Malleus and Sebek (I doubt any of the Diasomnia boys would ever forget Silver but the symbolism remains). It's a living reminder of Silver after hundreds of years and the mark he left behind in their hearts and they can continue to see and remember him fondly through it.

Jasmine: Love, beauty, innocence, new beginnings, victory, hope, and abundance. The constant 'new beginning" meanings makes me wonder if this is referring to his heritage and Silver being a prince from an opposing kingdom theory (or any theory in which he's a prince honestly).

Random Fact: Anniversaries could also be considered, since its the 3rd bdays for all the boys, their flower will be Sunflower: strength  be well, happiness, male healing, confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness. Sounds just like them, doesn’t it?

[mijlen]

Finally finished with my latest custom doll!

It's a glam take on Minty from My Little Pony (G3), specifically A Very Minty Christmas.

Lots of details went into this doll, and it took far and away longer than any doll I've made before. I lost track, but the hours spent easily go above 20.

Details about the construction below the cut!

Face and body

I started with a Vandala Doubloons base for the face mold, which I sliced open 😱 to create my first set of inset eyes. I just love Vandala's face mold, it's very unique and cute compared to others in the MH line (My base stock box dolls have all been super well loved, btw, so no I didn't destroy a mint in box Vandala. I would NEVER!!) The body was a headless stock box Abby, but I only decided to do that after trying and failing to do a peg-leg transplant on Vandala. It didn't matter, in the long run, since I was going to be painting the entire body anyway. Lots of coats of mint green artist's acrylic, cut with lots of flow builder medium, and about three coats of Mr. Super Clear between those coats of paint, and I had my base.

I knew the silhouette and hair I wanted for Minty from my earliest concept sketches, and looking at them I realized: this silhouette won't look "right" on a standard MH slimline. So it was time for some Apoxie sculpt! I gave her some bust and butt implants, as well as some hip and tummy augmentation to round things out in a way that would better serve the design. Then, more paint and Mr. Super Clear to make the body cohesive.

Hair

The hair is entirely acrylic yarn. Not only wefts, but I also achieved the voluminous high pony look by needle-felting a ratted base, around which the rest of the wefts were attached. Then, I had to curl them. This was by far one of the most time consuming parts of the process, but I love the outcome. I used the hot chopstick technique. That is, heating up a metal chopstick with a straightening iron, and twisting individual strands of hair around it. It keeps the hair from scorching, and allows for some truly tiny, glamorous curls.

Clothes

The gown is hand-sewn, but definitely not removable lmao. It's hard to get such a tight fit on such a tiny doll without using stretch material, and I was using costume satin, so I just glued the bodice down once I'd done all I could with darts and alterations.

The skirt went through a few iterations, with different colors being layered in for the trumpet skirt including sheer mint green, sheer white chiffon, and different shades of pink satin. And yes, those were all fully sewn as I made the decision. 😭 Eventually I went with three tiers in the basic hot pink as the rest of the dress, figuring I would add the contrasting color pops with beading.

Oof, the beading. It was a lot of hand beading. Bedazzling? idk what to call it. All I know is that many hours were spent over a pile of rhinestones and beads with a wax pencil and some Liquid Fusion glue, listening to extremely long YouTube video essays as I worked. The more I added, the more I WANTED to add, and I decided not to pull punches.

I added some volume to the skirt with stiff tulle and a half-assed cage skirt made of armature wire. You can't see it, anyway - it's the EFFECT that matters. Speaking of things you can't see, she's just wearing some unembellished hot pink G1 Draculaura boots. 😂

Details

The accessories, including the peppermints and the Here Comes Christmas Candy Cane, were all made with Apoxie sculpt, hand painted/detailed, and varnished. Perhaps my favorite little detail are her "acrylics," which I added using a technique I saw Hextian use in a video - you touch a dab of hot glue to the doll's finger, then pull it back slowly, and trim once dry. This creates a really fun effect of fake nails.

So yeah. This doll was a labor of love, and I'm so glad I didn't take any half-measures along the way. I'm very proud of her. Hope you like her!

One more note: YES I realize the irony of not having any SOCKS involved in an MLP Minty design. I really do regret this, and agonized over it a LOT. I considered making a “pajamas version” of this same doll so I could do a socks-themed outfit, before I realized the dress would need to be glued on.