#the answer is this is a terrible idea as I have ZERO time to moderate and don't really have anyone to ask to mod

[savrenim]

trying to decide whether or not given the Potentially Imminent Collapse Of Tumblr I do what apparently a whole bunch of writers I know are doing and Make A Personal Public Discord

[middlingmay]

Can I please ask for "When did you decide that I was the pillow?" 😊

Hello Nonny!

Sorry this one took me a while, but I hope you like it. It's a follow up to when the Buckies became cat dads.

Prompt take from this list.

Enjoy :)

"When did you decide that I was the pillow?"

Gale peeked around the side of his book, wrinkled and dog-eared as it was he’d read it so often.

Cannoli purred as she kneaded her paws into the softness of his belly. He was getting it back, finally. Helped along significantly by the hoard of sweet treats Bucky squirrelled away all over the house. Gale had to moderate himself, of course. His whole life had been about moderation, outside of his love for Bucky. But whenever he took the notion, Bucky made sure there was plenty on offer.

He laid on a narrow but well-stuffed chaise longue they’d gotten from a furniture market in town. It went with exactly zero of the décor in the rest of the house, but Bucky had seen it and had to have it. But, after the first time Gale had deigned to use it for an afternoon of laying down to read, it had become his. Bucky didn’t get a look in.

He scratched Cannoli’s head and she closed her eyes and leaned in. She took to living with him and John like a duck to water. She ate up every scrap of chicken, beef and fish they fed her; laid on every soft, plush surface she could find. She found the best sun spots to nap in, and happily lapped from the water dish they’d bought her in town along with everything a lady cat and expectant mother required.

She was doted on hand and foot, or paw and paw as it were.

“Hm? I thought you were keeping John out of trouble. What’re you doing here?”

And as if on cue, he heard it. Thundering up the stairs, John came tumbling, long legs so sure on a runway, on a march, on a dance floor but still terrifically uncoordinated in the civilian domesticity from time to time, tripping in his haste.

Three tiny mewlings came running after him.

“Ah,” Gale smiled looking down at a contented Cannoli, already half asleep. “That’s why. Escaping the whirlwind, huh?”

John appeared in the doorway, bright eyed and panting. He caught Cannoli cuddling into Gale’s belly. “You’re a terrible soldier, Cannoli. Leaving a man behind like that.”

The kittens had finally caught up with him, and as one they leaped onto his boots, biting and clawing at the laces.

“Goddamn—that’s the second pair you little suckers have gone for!”

He reached down, the kittens ridiculously small in his large hands and plucked them off his boots. A ball of dust blew across the floor and the kittens scrambled after it.

John prowled towards Gale, getting lower and lower with each step until he knelt before the chaise longue, his eyes level with Gale’s stomach, his nose pressing into the squidgy dip of Gale’s waist.

“I took you off the streets” he said to Cannoli, who blinked at him slowly. “I brought you into my home. I gave you the food off my plate. And this his how you thank me? You go behind my back, steal my man, leave me to raise the children?”

Cannoli gently batted John’s head with her paw and Gale’s chest jumped in silent laughter.

“Look at me, Buck. This is no laughing matter.” John held up his arms, and they were littered in dozens of the tiniest little scratches. He showed them to Cannoli. “That’s how you parent your children? They’re animals, Cannoli. Animals.”

Gale scritched under Cannoli’s chin. “You could use one of the, oh, thirty or so toys you bought them. Rather than your own flesh? Or laces.”

That sparked something in John and he scrambled to his feet. “An excellent, idea Buck. Where are the scissors?”

He ran from the room without waiting for an answer, and the soft, padded thunder of three kittens running in all their fury went after him.

"What in the hell do you need scissors for?!" Gale yelled after him, but of course John didn't answer. In their privacy, Gale kissed Cannoli’s head. “How’d we get so lucky, hm?”

He heard muffled thuds and the opening and closing of drawers, and John shooing kittens, trying not to laugh. Gale managed to read a few more pages of his book, much more slowly than before as he had one hand dedicated to giving Cannoli the fuss she deserved.

Eventually, he heard shuffling and John’s encouraging refrain. “That’s it, get it. Get it!”

Gale watched the open doorway and had to cover his mouth to keep the snicker in when John’s appeared feet first, crawling backwards on the ground. His feet gave way to his ankles, then the long, bulky stretch of his calves, the meat of his thigh, and inch by inch, the glorious curve of his ass.

“Well,” Gale murmured. “Ain’t that a view.”

John backed into the room and when Gale finally got the full view of his antics, he nearly upended Cannoli in his exasperation. Because attached to a stick which looked suspiciously like a leg from the spindle chair John hated and kept threatening to break when Gale wasn’t looking, were three long strips of cloth that looked awfully familiar.

Gale pinched his nose. “John. Is that my shirt?”

John grinned unrepentant. “You hate that shirt, Buck. Say it makes you look ‘boxy’. The hell does boxy mean, anyway?”

He wasn’t wrong, but it was the principle of the thing.

But John and the kittens didn’t care much for Gale’s principles around barely used clothing. For John wiggled the stick and the three strips of cloth flapped at the end, and the three kittens—Risotto, Truffles and Gnocchi—pounced and clawed Gale’s unwanted shirt to shreds.

Cannoli purred deep, fast asleep, content in John’s guardianship of her kittens and Gale’s guardianship of her. He stroked a gentle finger up the line of her nose and over her head. “I suppose,” he allowed, “it’s a very small price to pay.”

[cescalr]

Why Is Draco Malfoy So Underrated?

A repost of a Quora answer because Quora hates me for some reason

@vivithefolle​ i take little convincing here I go -

SO!

You. Yeah, you. You, nebulous quora questioner, you think Malfoy is underrated, do you? Well I, CescaLR, am here to set the record straight. The following is the answer I posted to Quora, that was flagged with ‘answer may need improvement’, which means some asshole was trawling the answers to the question posted and didn’t like mine so they had the moderators hide it because said person doesn’t like differing opinions. This post is thereby an archive, so if my answer is never again allowed to see the light of day on Quora, at least my maths is visible elsewhere. 

Hopefully, this entertains you, tumblr user reading this post. Also, as fair warning, if you do like Draco Malfoy and somehow stumbled across this post, I recommend skipping it. 

Why is Draco Malfoy so underrated?

Fleur Lee-Ranger

Author of 857406 words of fanfiction and counting.

ANSWER:

HAHAHAHA.

Ha.

Ha.

hah…..

For god’s sake, I hope you’re not serious.

Let’s look at YouTube, first:

Does 2.2 million f*cking views on a woobie Draco edit seem like he’s underrated to you? Any character that gets 2.2 million views on an edit that interprets the character in a sympathetic, caring light…. Jesus Christ. They’re not underrated.

You could make a clear argument for them being overrated, by matter of fact!

The first result is his entire life story, and a redemption of the Malfoy family as a whole, and it’s… super popular!

look at that! 70k likes versus 1.7k dislikes. Let’s use my favourite maths thing once again: Ratios!!

(I hate ratios. The things I do to prove a point, eh?)

This video has 5201431 million views. It has around 70k likes, 1.1k dislikes. We’ll round 5201431, as 70k and 1.1k are both rounded numbers and I can’t be bothered to deal with numbers that are too complicated right now, it’s nearly nine pm. 5201431 -> 5.2 million. It’s the rounded number YouTube itself uses on the search page - check the first image if you don’t believe me, and since YouTube thinks that’s good enough, so will we.

5200000 : 70000 : 1100

52000 : 700 : 11

Divide all by 11 (and round awkward numbers, because we’re already dealing in rounded numbers anyway, which is kind of bad practice, but it’ll do for this context):

4,727 : 64 : 1

As I’ve proven before (not on Quora, you can probably find it in the comments of one of my fanfictions, I’ll end up moving it over here one day when I find the right question), fandom content engagement rates are always pretty bad. But honestly? every four thousand or so views, you get 64 likes, compared to just one dislike. That’s great! That’s incredible! I’d kill for those kinds of ratings!!

(Draco’d probably wimp out, though. hehe. Jokes, jokes.)

As for his woobie video:

2.3m : 152k : 715

2300000 : 153000 : 715

Nice, don’t need to remove any superfluous zeroes. Bad, for… well, your hypothesis, to put it nicely, since that means there are only seven hundred and fifteen goddamn dislikes on this video, what the f*ck, why do so many people like this b*stard child.

Ahem. Sorry, that’s rude to illegitimate children like myself. There is nothing wrong with having unmarried parents.

…Anyway, lets slim down that ratio:

3217 : 214 : 1

Holy sh*t. I would do more than kill for this ratio. Oh my god.

That’s some great engagement there. So many likes! Clearly, Draco dearie is a very popular boy! He’d love that. I hate this on principle. God am I glad 13 year old me didn’t really use YouTube (I watched gaming content and little else, didn’t even find fandom content until 2015) or I’d have contributed one of those likes, probably.

Oh wait, no! Never mind! I can’t have contributed one of those likes, because this f*cking video was posted last year!!!!!

LAST GODDAMN YEAR!!!!

Do you understand that? Do you - do you have any idea how - just how difficult it is to get that many views that quickly and with that good an engagement???? Do you???????? It has been, get this, seven, seven whole f*cking months, Less time than it takes to make a baby, and this f*cking video has 2,265,900!!! million!!!! views!!!! With a ratio of 214 likes to one goddamn dislike.

oh my god.

oh my god

oh my god

I’m having a minor mental breakdown. Jesus f*cking H Christ on a goddamn bike.

Look at these comments! Look at how many likes they have!! Oh my god!!!! Draco Malfoy might just be one of the most beloved characters ever to get this sort of reaction, for hell’s sake!

I don’t know what kind of dunderhead you are to not notice how f*cking popular this jackass little b*stard boy is, but god, the whiny little sh*t has more fans than oh, I don’t know. Someone really popular. Tom Holland? I don’t know celebrities. Sorry.

But my point is, for god’s sake, Malfoy isn’t underrated. I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under, my friend, but that sheer idolisation you so crave of your wimpy f*cking husband is right there in front of you! Just search his name, and you’ll see it front and goddamn centre. Those of us that don’t worship the ground he walks on are generally much more background.

For god’s sake, he’s a trope namer.

Draco In Leather Pants.

How much more evidence do you need than that?

Of course, I could be jumping the gun. You could be a fan of his that is frustrated by the fanon interpretation of his character. ‘Why is he reduced to a bad boy with a heart of gold when actually he’s a more complicated asshole with sh*tty morality and no backbone that gives a whole ass damn about his family but not much else?’ Good question! Blame Cassie Claire, though I suppose that’s my go-to for most things.

Seriously though; Draco Malfoy is not even remotely overrated. He’s a whiny, terrible, useless waste of space in the books; and in fandom, he’s transformed into a cool, collected, redeemable or outright good person who’s smart and talented and like, super hot you guys, doesn’t he look cute with Hermione/Harry/Insert Author’s Projected Character Here?!!!!

Also: Y’all are f*cking creeps for this shit:

THAT’S A SCENE FROM WHEN THE KID IS TWELVE, FOR GOD’S SAKE. I’m not even joking, half of you are nonces and I want nothing to do with you! ‘hot draco malfoy edits’ HE’S TWELVE

HE’S TWELVE

HE’S TWELVE.

Hot take time:

Draco Malfoy is overhyped, overrated, and oversexualised and I want all of this to stop, because you’re doing it to Tom Felton, when he was a child. A child! That’s creepy! Please do not make hot edits of children, thank you!!!!!

Someone call the police. I’m done with this f*cking fandom, oh my god.

(Also, if you think I edited that in like some sick weirdo might do, just go find that video and give it a watch. I wouldn’t if I were you, I’d believe me, because watching that video probably puts you on a watchlist somewhere.

It should.)

Okay. Deep breaths. It’s been a few months, this answer was flagged with the wonderfully opaque ‘this answer may need improvement’, and I’m back to refine this. I’m not taking anything out, but I’m adding some extra investigation. For posterity’s sake; the original answer only contained YouTube analysis. Let’s look through Archive Of Our Own, shall we?

As I showed in my answer re: the well-liked-ness of Lilly and Hermione, this is the number of total fics within the HP tag.

This is the number of tags when ‘Draco Malfoy’ is added to the ‘included characters’ filter.

So, in terms of ‘fandom work presence’ (AO3 is mostly fanfic, but it is not all fanfic, there are a few vids and some art on there, too) Malfoy’s ratio is thus:

254603:65469

3.8889… : 1

4 : 1

So, rounding up, for every four works on AO3, there is one that includes Draco dearie. Good lord, he’s pervasive, isn’t he? Can’t turn a corner in the fandom without seeing his pasty ferret face plastered all over the walls… lovely.

Now, once again - that wasn’t the best ratio. I didn’t remove bashing, for example, so not all those works will be positive (as in, since you think he’s underrated, that means - I assume - you think people don’t like him enough) so let’s go the long mile:

I will find a ratio for Mr Malfoy Jr’s fans, versus his haters, in terms of - how many fics bash Malfoy, and how many greatly enjoy his existence?

Add the bashing tag, and now let’s see how many fics there are with a) Draco in it, and b) Draco Bashing:

hahahhahagag;k;asdkf

Oh no!

Oh my god I dodn’t…. one second… give me just one second….

Right. Laughing fit over, okay. 17.

So, 65469 works with Draco present, 17 of which don’t like him overmuch, and 65452 like him just fine/present him as he appears in canon! Awesome. Of course, people who present him as he is in canon may not like him the way you want him to, so, not awesome? Hmm. I’m not sure how to filter for that. I suppose you wouldn’t want people who write him OOC, though, because that’s not rating him properly, is it? Should we add OOC to the bashing, to get people who don’t appreciate his… many positive character traits… to the extent that you would like?

Yes, I think we should.

Now, there’s no tag for ‘OOC Draco Malfoy’, because that would make my life too easy. And, I’m not going through 151 works to figure out which ones have Draco being the one OOC. If they’ve written one person OOC, and they’re self-aware enough to tag it, then I’m going to meanly assume they’ve written Draco OOC as well. When one person’s out of whack, I’ve found everyone else is, too, so I’m not just doing this to be a dick, I promise, it’s for a real, good, understandable reason, one that is not only because I really don’t want to have to do any maths more complicated than basic ratios.

So. 151 OOC works, 17 bashing works. 168 works of not properly appreciated Draco Malfoy, coming up, which takes our 65469 Draco works down to… 65301.

Well, that’s a lot, still.

So, there’s still some tags to remove, like Evil, and Abusive, and all that lark. I’ll go do that quickly, and come back with the maths.

(okay, but I do have to show this:)

(fourteen works in the ‘Evil’ draco tag?? are you serious???)

(oh and you can’t filter by Abusive Draco Malfoy, like that’s not a tag, so I can’t exclude it, but it really adds to the general atmosphere of ‘Draco Malfoy? Yeah he’s cool I like him’ that this fandom has going on, doesn’t it?)

Alright so! We really only could take away those 14 works. Okay.

By the way, just so you know - I didn’t exclude tags like ‘Death Eater Draco Malfoy’ and ‘Bully Draco Malfoy’ (if the latter even exists), because those are things that happen in canon, and when I think of a character as being ‘underrated’ I include not acknowledging their canon actions, the bad and the good. A character is only as good as their complexities run deep.

So.

For the ratio, I guess;

65469 : 151 : 17 : 14

4,676.3571… : 10.7857… : 1.2142… : 1

4,676 : 11 : 1 : 1

…

Hmm.

For every 4 thousand 6 hundred fics Draco appears in, 11 of them have OOC tagged, 1 of them has Draco Bashing tagged, and 1 of them has Evil Draco tagged. That is…

That is unfathomably good. I’m really, genuinely having a hard time picturing it. I really, honestly, don’t think there’s been a character as unquestionably overrated as Draco Malfoy in all of fandom, because, good lord, look at that ratio! People love the guy!

Let’s see the good draco malfoy tag, shall we?

Now, to be fair, most people don’t bother tagging any of this sort of thing, usually, so that’s a minor flaw in my ratio-ing. We can’t actually know exactly how many works laud Malfoy, or hate him, or feel ambivalent, because people don’t tag their shit properly. But I’m hoping this helps, at least a little. Anyway, 905! That’s a few. Not many, but certainly more than Evil or Bashing or even OOC.

65469 : 905 : 151 : 17 : 14

4,676.3571… : 64.6428 : 10.7857… : 1.2142… : 1

4,676 : 65 : 11 : 1 : 1

Yep. That’s not bad, not bad at all.

So. Most people seem to like him, if we’re honest. As I pointed out above, he’s a trope namer. If you didn’t click on the link for Draco In Leather Pants, here’s a brief summary from the TV Tropes page:

[ Transcription:

Sometimes, a fanwork will portray a villainous character in a more positive light. It can be done out of sympathy for the character, for shipping reasons, as a part of a role-reversal story, several of the aforementioned or for the variety of other reasons.

The common subjects of this treatment are characters who are wicked in a classy or cool way. A physically attractive villain is much more likely to be subject to this trope than a physically ugly one; Beauty = Goodness, after all, and shallow as it may be, it seems that, for some fans, this is the case even when the character's beauty only extends to their appearance. All Girls Want Bad Boys may be a factor with male villains getting a female fandom that views them through this lens. A badass villain will naturally be preferred by many of these over meeker heroic characters at times, as well. Ugly Cute villains also get this pretty easily. ]

So! There’s that. He named a trope all about appreciating a character perhaps (usually definitely) more than they deserve, so I wouldn’t call him ‘underrated’ by most general definitions of the word:

People seem to mostly believe him to be quite good, actually! Certainly enough to write about him a lot, to draw him a lot, to edit him a lot, to theorise about him a lot, to ship him with the main character so much that the 99th filter ever on AO3 was Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.

Hey, actually, that’s a good idea! Which filter id is Draco Malfoy?

Now, if I’m not mistaken, it’s been a while since I had to do this -

Draco Malfoy was the 1589th tag canonised in the tag system of AO3. Let’s check the Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter tag (which I know for certain was 99) to make sure:

And lo and behold, I was right. That’s mad. That’s mad!!!!

Ooh, I’ve found a fun trick

To change which rss feed you’re looking at, copy the https:// link up to .atom in the speech marks, and change the highlighted number. That shows you what uses that tag_ids: - in this case, 93 is Draco himself. The 93rd tag, dedicated to Draco Malfoy. Good lord, that’s insane! I guess there really weren’t many other things to prioritize at the time, but that’s still silly to me.

Fluff and Angst appears to be the fiftieth tag canonised, for comparison. Sometimes when you replace the rss feed’s ‘tag’ in the address bar it takes you to the tag’s page instead of the feed, because that tag doesn’t have an rss feed. The more you know!

Anyway, back on track: I think all of that, rss feeds, youtube analytics, fandom presence, all kind of proves my point:

Draco Malfoy is not underrated. He is, arguably, overrated as a character, but unarguably very popular within the greater Harry Potter fandom. Unpopular characters don’t tend to get paired with the lead, at the very least - and you can’t turn around in the Harry Potter fandom without seeing Drarry somewhere, can you?

[quakerjoe]

In the end, not even the Progressive Bernie Base showing up for Hillary in larger numbers than her own supporters did for Obama in 2008, could prevent the inevitable. A massively flawed candidate who failed to electrify the Democratic base and make the case to Rust Belt voters- why she is the better option than the Populist candidate spraying out anti-trade rhetoric.

Blame whatever you want. The blame rests squarely on all of us. But there is so many lessons to learn from the 2016 Primary and General Election. Populism and Progressive policy became the central topic. Healthcare is a right. The ultra-rich are KING in America, and they must be reigned in. Primary process should be more fair. Flowery platitudes aren’t enough to generate excitement for the poor to turn out, etc.

Literally ZERO of these lessons were learned. Even in the face of an ACTUAL Corona-virus pandemic, with over 30 million unemployed, more and more uninsured at the time of writing this- the Democratic party has done nearly nothing to fix the problems from 2016. Actually, in all my shock- they’ve made them worse. The Democratic party pulled every string it could. Bent over backwards to not only stop Bernie Sanders, but stifle Progressives and our policy agenda. All in an orchestration to crown their nominee just years after a 2016 lawsuit said the DNC can meddle how ever they like in their own “Democratic process”. All to push a man who did next to no campaigning in any states past South Carolina. A man who didn’t actually work for your vote, but instead- coasted on “Hope and Change” establishment nostalgia, for when times weren’t so chaotic.

So for pragmatism sake, let’s push all that aside for just one moment. We can debate all day about how “fair” Joe Biden’s path to the Democratic Nomination has been. But let’s view Biden on his own merits for his candidacy’s sake. What’s the incentive for Progressives to vote for Joe? Well- unless you’re sticking to the concept of the very first paragraph of this article, the answer is: There isn’t one.

If Hillary Clinton were a flawed candidate, Biden may just be the worst nominee in history. A long history of terrible behavior including coddling racists, racist behavior, repeated threats at slashing the safety net, warmongering for a devastating Iraq war that’s helped kill endless innocent civilians all based on a lie, the nomination of Justice Thomas and controversial treatment of Anita hill, the Obama administration’s failure to even pass a Public Option with a Super Majority government, while pushing a healthcare plan that was little more than barely a small step in the right direction.

Now- Biden stands as the presumptive Democratic Nominee, and with a sizable Progressive Bernie Base up for grabs, what has Joe Biden done to earn our vote?

Answer: Nothing. Well, at least nothing significant.

Three items come immediately to mind on what Joe Biden is doing to “reach left”.

1: Joe wants to lower the Medicare age to 60. By comparison, Hillary Clinton wanted to lower it to as low as 50.

2: Joe Biden wants to eliminate student debt for those making under $125K. By comparison, Bernie Sanders wanted to eliminate it universally.

3: Nebulously- Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders have created “working groups” on various policy issues focusing on education, criminal justice, climate change, immigration, the economy, and health care policy. As of yet, nothing has come of these “groups” on policy.

As the Primary was coming to a close, I as a Progressive- was completely open to Joe moving (not reaching) left on policy positions.

Overwhelmingly, if you ask Sanders supporters what they care about most, it’s Policy.

What will you do for the underprivileged working class people of America?

What will you do for my children and grand children facing a Climate Change future?

What will you do for your Mass Incarceration mess, ending the drug war, legalizing Marijuana, and freeing non-violent drug offenders?

What will you do for the upwards of 45K people who die each year because health care is not affordable?

The 67% of American bankruptcies being due to health care costs?

BUT. Sanders supporters also believe in principle. Consistency. History. Fighting for change. Decency. Human rights. We’re also majority young people (a group Joe Biden did not do well with). Perhaps these things could be talked out. But now there’s a bigger elephant in the room. One that establishment Democrats and Joe’s supporters are ignoring.

Joe Biden was credibly accused of rape.

Democrats spent months yelling about “Believing Women” during the Kavanaugh Confirmation hearings. Rightfully fighting for Christine Blasey Ford’s story to be heard- knowing it would be a fruitless task at the hands of a twisted Senate Republican majority. Now, establishment Democrats are making the media rounds with Biden campaign talking points with denials and every attempt to downplay Tara Reade as not a credible accuser, even as several corroborations of her story have surfaced, 1 of which was an archive video of who Tara Reade alleges is her mother discussing the issue with Larry King on CNN in 1993. Meanwhile, Joe Biden’s campaign has it’s surrogates and supporters on news networks shielding Biden. Nancy Pelosi downplays the accusations, Kirsten Gillibrand (who helped cancel Al Franken) is downplaying the accusations. Alyssa Milano, prominent #MeToo voice, who made a performative appearance at the Brett Kavanagh hearings, now wants to “change the rules” on the movement in favor of a sort of ‘Due Process’- a process that many perpetrators cancelled by #MeToo never got, in favor of protecting Joe Biden.

What this means to me is that Democrats think it’s perfectly fine to be selective on who and who doesn’t deserve to be heard and taken seriously, based on who’s on your team. As if it should be that easy to just shed your principles like Snake skin, hypocritically protecting one predator, while gunning for another that doesn’t fit with you politically.

In 2016, I was perfectly fine voting for the “lesser evil”. Now that the party has loudly stated that not only does my values, principles, and policy demands for the poor and sick of America, not matter- I should fall in line with a candidate that has helped endless innocent people die overseas with America’s imperial military reach, helped endless people die at home because they cant afford a doctor, said that he has “no empathy” for young people- the same young people that have to live and suffer under the conditions of Climate Change while he’s dead and gone, sexually assaulted and violated multiple women, said that nothing will fundamentally change for the same rich people who are now gaining BILLIONS under pandemic conditions while their workers get sicker, if they’re even employed at all.

Moderate establishment Democrats and voters tell me that Trump is the number one threat. That we need to “vote blue no matter who”. Just how “blue” is Joe biden? Just how dissimilar is Joe Biden and his supporters from Trump and his following? For all of the cries of the “angry Bernie Bros” online, I see countless accosting and abusive discourse examples from Biden supporters calling any dissenters “Russian Bots”, or “MAGA Hats”. Being told that I’m somehow a Trump voter by default, for not immediately supporting Biden. All this when all I’ve ever seen from “the Bernie Bros” is aggressively holding smear artists to facts and truth in a thick environment of misrepresentation of Bernie Sanders and his platform.

So- Why shouldn’t Progressives vote for Joe Biden?

This Democratic party doesn’t give a damn about you. Nor does it care about Progressive policy. The party and its supporters spend all this time, smearing Sanders and his base as “Not democrats”, angry “socialists who want free stuff”, “How are you gonna PAY for it?!” etc etc, all while claiming to support SOME form of our policy, and then dropping it the second it doesn’t feel politically advantageous. This party threw everything it could into stopping YOU. With tactics like voter suppression, using a silly app suspiciously funded and supported by shady actors in Iowa, taking WEEKS to give final results, running Super PACs against Bernie and our movement, fear-mongering about Bernie when he did win states, gas lighting the public on “elect-ability”, using a literal pandemic against Bernie to guilt him into dropping out while attempting to blame him for continued spread of COVID-19, while they sent voters to the polls and we didn’t.

And after zero policy concessions, zero good will, repeated demands we fall in line after more than a year of being slammed and disrespected, showing up for Hillary Clinton and then being blamed for her loss anyway, which is inevitable again if Joe loses? Are we just going to keep allowing that? Just how long do we have to hold our noses, voting for Moderate do-nothing lite Republicans who would sooner see you die, than provide you affordable and universal healthcare, because a Billionaire would stand to lose money. Even NOW, during a Pandemic this party has done next to NOTHING to secure the livelihoods of American citizens, as more and more die, get furloughed, and cant pay their bills. All while Trump and Republicans take credit for pitching more common sense plans (even though they want to send us all back to work/school to feed the machine).

This- is the “resistance” party? THIS is the best we can do? Performative rage against a fascist clown while propping up an accused rapist warmongering corporatist with cognitive decline and previous racist tendencies? THIS is what the party keeps telling us we better support or be shamed as somehow supporting the “bad guy”?

Listen, #NotMeUs- this will never stop. This party will NEVER stop using us as a prop for our ideas and passion, then throwing us under the bus when they think they no longer need us. They cannot continue to be allowed to drag us further to the right with guilt trips and shaming. They will NEVER take you seriously unto you take serious action. We’ve been preaching about “action” this whole campaign. Why should that “action” stop in the ballot box? Have some foresight for just a moment and envision how this plays out in future elections, unless you stand up and make them WORK for your vote.

I, for one will not vote for Joe Biden. But I wont shame you for your vote, no matter who it’s for. Why? Because the party did a terrible job at earning -your- vote. I’d maybe only criticize you if you don’t show up at all. There’s so many down-ballot candidate who need support. Even if you leave the President box unchecked, at least show up for the other races.

But consider: There are other options that have been stifled for way too long. Perhaps its time we give them a shot, no? Green Party is running Howie Hawkins and a platform that is much closer to our principles that Biden would ever try for. Justin Amash just jumped into the race if you’re a little more on the Libertarian side. Jesse Ventura is also discovering running on the Green ticket as well. Just imagine Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura on the debate stage with Donald Trump? Popcorn for DAYS.

In order for us to be taken seriously, we must prove that we’re capable of holding the party accountable. Not voting for them is the ultimate accountability, and you get to keep your principles intact.

Now- to the ultimate argument you’d inevitably get: “You would be helping Donald Trump secure 4 more years”.

My response? You don’t have to bare the blame for that. You wont be at fault for Joe Biden losing any more than those who chose not to vote at all. It’s on the party to earn these votes. That’s how elections work. If you hate the candidate and don’t feel good about them as a person, why is it your responsibility to put them in office? To me- one of the most personal things a person has, is their vote. Not their dollars, or their Tweets. It’s checking a box for the person YOU chose to represent you. If that person doesn’t believe in hardly anything you personally believe in- why is it that they deserve your vote, again? How is it that they’re are somehow entitled to that vote? They don’t, and they aren’t. I’m looking at you too, Republicans.

In closing…

Progressives, I’m sorry to break it to you but- Medicare For All is not on the ballot. Taxing the rich is not on the ballot. Ending corruption and crooked politicians is not on the ballot.

But- ending a terrible two-party system IS on the ballot. Taking your personal vote back, IS on the ballot. In my opinion- the only wasted vote, is the one you were demanded in giving up to what you don’t believe in.

-LZ

https://medium.com/@legacyzero/why-sanders-supporters-should-not-vote-for-joe-biden-a9146bee189b

[marvelmando]

tempest [p.parker x o.c.] - five

notes: im trying to write the far from home part but it’s just turning out so terribly! whatever, hopefully i get back in the groove soon

contains: some swearing, some violence, heights

pairing: peter parker + fem! o.c.

word count: 3k

previous chapter next chapter tempest masterlist

"PLEASE BE SURE ALL CELLPHONES ARE TURNED OFF."

Marin watched as Ned hesitantly turned over his phone to the lady waiting outside the auditorium, and she felt a pang of sympathy for him. Peter had yet to show up from his tryst from the previous night, and both her and Ned were growing increasingly worried. Marin was equally angry that he was going to miss the competition and nervous that something had happened to him. For all of the grief she gave him, Marin knew that Peter was truly loyal to his friends, and wouldn't have missed the competition if he could've helped it.

The beginning of the competition had gone by quickly—hours of Marin sitting backstage, waiting for the science portion of the event, chewing anxiously on her thumbnail and pacing incessantly.

Eventually, Marin was brought onstage for the science questions.

"What is the relation of the speed of the fluid flowing out of an orifice to the height of the fluid above the opening?" The moderator asked.

Marin pressed her buzzer immediately. "Torricelli's theorem." She squeaked out, relaxing when the moderator confirmed the correct answer. The team gave her pats on her back, and Michelle even nodded approvingly with a tilted smile.

Marin was only able to answer a few more questions, and time had blurred together as they approached their final questions. The teams were tied—the moderator announced they had entered sudden death. Marin was so nervous, her head swimming with restless nerves that she didn't register the question that was asked.

But then Michelle pressed her buzzer, and Marin sucked in a breath. "Midtown Tech?"

Michelle looked bored. "Zero."

"That is correct!"

The team erupted with cheers. Marin was the first to wrap Michelle in a hug, with Ned following. Michelle, she could tell, seemed unfazed by the victory, but smiled at their reactions nonetheless. Flash jumped out of his seat and ran across the length of the stage, whooping and hollering with delight.

"Midtown takes the championship!"

+++

It was Liz's idea to celebrate their triumph by going up in the Washington Monument. Marin was giddy with an adrenaline rush and she figured that all things considered, she would be able to handle the heights.

"Told you we didn't need Peter!" Flash was saying, waving around the championship trophy.

"Flash, you didn't answer a single question." Ned pointed out with a funny look on his face, causing Marin to snort rather embarrassingly.

Inside the lobby of the monument, while they waited to go through security, Ned pulled out his phone and dialed Peter's number. "Peter! Are you okay?" Ned whispered.

"He picked up?" Marin whisper-yelled at him, reaching for the phone.

"Don't worry, it's safe; it's in my backpack!" Ned responded, holding the phone firmly to his face so Marin couldn't grab it. He set his backpack on the conveyor belt, and while he was distracted, Marin nabbed the phone.

"Peter! Peter, what the hell—"

"—the glowy thing is dangerous!" Peter was yelling. Marin's eyes widened dramatically as she whipped around at Ned.

"'Glowy thing'?!" Marin hissed, staring daggers at Ned. "You brought it with you?!"

Marin could still hear Peter shouting when the phone was snatched out of her hands by Liz. "Peter, is that you?" She ranted at him. "You flake! You are so lucky we won. You know, I want to be mad, but I'm more worried. Like, what is going on with you?"

"Miss, all items on the belt, please." A security guard interrupted Liz, who nodded and place the phone on the conveyor belt without hanging up. Marin could only follow behind, as one-by-one, the team passed through the metal detectors and retrieved their belongings. By the time Marin had passed and reached Ned, the call was disconnected and Ned was tucking his phone into his jacket's pocket.

"What did he say?" Marin said mutedly to Ned.

"Call was already ended when I picked the phone up." He shrugged, as a tour guide corralled the Midtown team into the elevator. Flash, still holding the trophy, asked Mr. Harrington as the doors to the elevator slid shut: "Hey, Mr. Harrington, can I be the one to tell Peter he's expelled?"

Marin rolled her eyes and the elevator ascended with a jolt.

Marin wasn't paying attention as the female tour guide monotonously recited facts about the obelisk. At one point, Mr. Harrington even tried to talk to her about his ex-wife, but Marin was too busy gnawing on her lower lip to notice. She was picking at her nail when a familiar magenta glowing light caught her eye.

"Ned—" she began to say, but suddenly the light grew violently brighter until it erupted, damaging the elevator shaft's framework. The car screeched to a jerking stop.

The car rapidly filled up with smoke, briefly obscuring Marin's vision, but Ned was close enough to her for her to see him drop his bag in a panic. "Oh god," she muttered to herself. The Chitauri core detonated much like a bomb—the electromagnetic waves from the x-ray machine must've set it off. And now, they were trapped in an unstable elevator box, some five-hundred feet in the air, with a bomb. Marin just hoped it wouldn't go off again.

"Oh, my god, look at the ceiling," Flash said, voice trembling. Sure enough, a glowing ring of red had burned through the roof of the elevator.

"Just stay calm, everyone." Liz tried to soothe.

Abe whined, "Oh, we are all going to die here."

Ned looked at Marin, visibly panicked. "Can you do anything?" He whispered in her ear.

Marin reached to her side, where her water bottle would be—but it wasn't there. Then she remembered she'd left it on her nightstand, figuring that she wouldn't have needed it, as she assumed they would have provided bottles of water at the competition if she ever got thirsty. She didn't even consider the possibility that she'd need to use her powers. "Shit," she cursed weakly. "I don't have my water." Ned clutched his head.

"We're freaking screwed." Charles lamented.

"Okay guys, I know that was scary, but our safety systems are working." The tour guide attempted to calm the group down, but someone started coughing, sending the rest of them on edge. "We're very safe here."

Marin knew it was a lie—they all did. As the seconds passed, the sounds of metal creaking were beginning to be heard. Marin could've tried to siphon water from the bodies around her, but it required a lot of energy that Marin didn't have. The altitude was making her dizzy, and she knew that even if she managed to gather enough water, her energy would deplete too quickly for her to do anything with it, and she'd been rendered not only useless but an unconscious burden.

The groaning of the framework deepened as the passengers moved about. Debris pinged against the roof of the car, and the tour guide had Mr. Harrington hoist her up to the hatch in the ceiling. Marin could barely make out the sight of park rangers opening the shaft's glass panels. Cindy was the first to be lifted through the hatch, and Marin could hear cords snapping. She grabbed Ned's arm.

Sally was next, then Charles, then Abe. Marin heard the distant sounds of helicopters. "Okay, who's next?" Mr. Harrington motioned to Liz.

She moved to grab his shoulder, but Flash shoved her out of the way, still clutching the goddamn trophy like a lifeline. "Me! It's my turn!" He cried, hoisting himself on Mr. Harrington's shoulders.

"Flash, seriously? What are you doing?!" Ned scolded, as Liz scoffed indignantly and Marin frowned at the boy's cowardly actions.

He was barely outside the hatch when the elevator shook violently, throwing everyone into a panic.

Flash thrust the trophy into the outstretched hands of the park rangers. "Take my trophy!" He moved to stand on the roof, and the car shook again, dropping a couple of inches.

"This is your last chance!" Marin vaguely heard the police cry from outside.

Flash had just been lifted out of the shaft when there was one last vicious groan of metal, the roof of the elevator ripping off and sending the car into a free-fall.

Screaming was all Marin could hear as she clutched the railing with one hand and Ned's arm with the other until the car came to an abrupt stop. Looking up, Marin saw a web connected to the outside of the car. She had only a moment to breath before she heard glass shattering and they were falling once more.

The car caught on something, and a figure crashed into the elevator as it halted. The momentum of the body hitting the floor caused the car to jolt and start falling again. Marin had never been on a roller coaster, but she absently assumed this was what it felt like—the swooping of her heart and the weight dropping her stomach into her feet.

Spider-Man aimed another web at the top of the shaft, bracing his feet on what remained of the broken metal roof, stopping the car yet again.

In the brief silence that ensued, Mr. Harrington, Ned, Liz, and Marin all stared at Spider-Man in a combination of shock, terror, and relief. Spider-Man cleared his throat roughly, adopting a thick New York accent. "Hey, how you doin'? Don't worry 'bout it, I gotchu." He began pulling the car up.

"Yes!" Ned cheered, pumping his fists and making the car wobble with his obvious excitement. "Yes!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Big guy! Quit movin' around!"

"Sorry, sir. So sorry."

Marin noticed the exertion Peter was putting out, lifting the car up one hand after the other. A quick glance over at Liz showed that she was thoroughly confused, probably as to why the hell Spider-Man had shown up in D.C., of all places.

Suspense grew thickly as Marin watched the car approach the top of the shaft. The park rangers pried the doors to the elevator open and pulled Mr. Harrington and Ned through. "Alright, this is your stop," Peter quipped, but his voice was tight with tension. "Go, go, go! Everybody out! Move it, people—move it, move it!" Marin looked up, and saw the metal bend under Peter's feet, ready to snap any second. Reacting on instinct, Marin pushed Liz through the door and into the arms awaiting her to safety—just in time for the ceiling to collapse, and the car to drop under Marin's feet.

Marin screamed, reaching her arms to grab Peter's, but missing it just barely. "No!" Peter cried out, instantly grabbing her wrist with a web.

He held himself up with his feet grabbing at a web while pulling a dangling Marin up with his hands. It was a strange sensation, the web attached to her wrist—chilled and a bit slimy, but secure and steady nonetheless.

"You're okay, you're okay," Peter repeated in a chant, sounding genuinely distressed. He grasped her hand when he pulled her up enough, not letting go until she was safe on the observation deck.

Marin stared into Spider-Man's mask, hoping to tell him something—anything—but her heart twisted when she realized that he was instead staring at Liz, his bionic eyes widened. "Is everyone okay? Are you guys okay?"

He went silent as Liz nodded, seemingly in a weird trance as she returned Spider-Man's stare. "Yeah," Marin mumbled, but it went unnoticed.

Then, the web snapped, and Spider-Man fell down into the empty shaft. The spectators gasped and peered into the darkness to watch the hero plummet. "Thank you!" Mr. Harrington called down.

Flash pushed Marin to the side to lean over the mangled frame, still holding the freaking trophy, to yell, "Are you really friends with Peter Parker?!"

+++

Initially, the team was supposed to stay in D.C. for another full day. But once everyone was brought to the ground with the help of many teams of policemen and firefighters, it was kind of a unanimous decision to head back to New York as soon as possible.

Once statements were made and their physical conditions were cleared by awaiting paramedics, Marin overheard a policewoman tell another that Spider-Man was nowhere to be found—he'd simply vanished. Before Marin could worry that he'd been injured (or worse), Peter had suddenly ran up to the group, claiming he'd gone for a walk early that morning and fell asleep in some park. No one really believed him, but everyone was still shaken up from the day, and they were more relieved to see that Peter was okay and unharmed.

Marin had gone to tackle Peter with a hug, but Liz had beat her to it. So that left Marin stopping short, feeling awkward and embarrassed, especially when she realized that Peter had barely even glanced her way, instead, fussing over Liz and her well-being. Marin had selfishly thought that she was the one who had really almost died, and Liz was perfectly okay and didn't need so much of Peter's attentions; but chastised herself immediately after, reminding herself that Peter had known Liza lot longer than he'd known Marin, and it was more likely that Peter would be more concerned for the older girl. It didn't make the sting of mild rejection any less painful, though.

But what surprised her most was Michelle coming to greet Marin with a swift hug, though she'd broken away almost immediately and acted as if she hadn't just expressed such relief. But Michelle's voice wobbled with concern, which was more than enough for Marin's eyes to well with tears.

Back on the bus, everyone sat close together, though no one really talked. Peter was with Ned, probably recounting the events that kept him away for the night, but Marin was too enervated to care. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was haunted with horrifying memories of the floor dropping out from underneath her and plagued with feelings of lingering helplessness. So she asked Michelle if she had a spare book, and Michelle handed over her now-finished copy of Invitation to a Beheading wordlessly, pulling another book from her bag.

Her eyes blurred and she didn't register the words she read at all, but it gave her something to distract her mind with. Distract her from the burning feeling in her chest whenever she let her thoughts run aimlessly.

It was dark outside when they reached the high school. The team scrambled off the bus to find their families.

Marin was the last to descend the steps, watching as her new friends embraced their parents and siblings and loved ones with open sobs and declarations of love and concern. Peter was enveloped into May's awaiting arms as she cried with relief. The sights made Marin's heart ache.

What if he wasn't there? Marin thought to herself. What if Spider-Man hadn't shown up to save the day? She wondered that if her parents were still alive, would they be just as happy to see her safe and sound? The hole in her chest where she normally felt empowered made her begin to believe otherwise.

Her wandering mind was interrupted when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. It was May, with one arm around her shoulders and the other tilted up, with her hand tenderly cradling the back of Marin's head. Marin returned the hug and began to cry.

+++

Back at the apartment, May made the teens hot chocolate and microwaved dozens of pizza rolls. They ate in silence, no one wanting to address the day's events. They were just fine with being in each other's presence.

Eventually, once all the food was gone and their mugs were drained, May retired to bed, kissing each of them on the temple, and wishing them a good night.

"Can we talk?" Peter rasped once May had disappeared down the hall. Marin nodded, following him into his room.

They sat together on the lower bunk, and a moment of silence passed as Peter summoned the words he needed to say.

"I'm sorry." Peter finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly. "I'm sorry—about what I said last night, and for ditching you guys, and almost getting you killed—"

Marin twisted and pulled him into a hug. Peter wasn't crying, but he was trembling in her arms, and Marin felt a pang of guilt for not considering how scared he must've been. They had both endured falling from that height together, and he even had to climb up the outside of the monument just to reach them. Not to mention, he was still probably traumatized from plummeting into the lake, not a few nights before. She clutched him tighter, shushing him gently.

"It's okay, Peter." She whispered into his hair. "You showed up, you were there, and you saved us, okay?" She pulled back to look Peter in the eyes. They were glassy like he was holding back tears. "You saved me. And I'll always be grateful for that."

He nodded, sniffing lightly. They peeled themselves apart, taking a moment to compose themselves.

After a while, Marin asked, "Why didn't you tell me, though, Pete? Why didn't you tell me before you made the decision to go fight those guys by yourself?" Her voice was surprisingly steady. "Did you not... I don't know, not trust me, or something? Because I thought we were in this together." She didn't mean to sound so needy, but yet it did.

"We are in it together, Marin." Peter urged. "I just... I know you like Mr. Stark, too, but if I told you that I needed to hack into the suit to disable the tracker, I knew you'd—"

"You hacked into your suit?!" Marin exclaimed. "You fool! What if you messed with something important and got yourself killed?!" She scolded, smacking his arm.

"Hey!" He grabbed where she hit him defensively. "I knew you'd object! 's why I didn't tell you! And then, you got upset with me—understandably so—" he pointed out at her vexed glare. "—and I didn't want to force you."

Marin sighed after watching his reaction, placated. "Fair enough, webs." The corner of her lips tilted up in a crooked smile. "What else did you do to the suit, then?"

Peter laughed, looking excited. "So, it turns out my suit comes with my very own AI lady..."

taglist

@dark-night-sky-99 @pushmeinablackhole @-thatgirloverthere- @demi-starzak

[terselylove]

50 Ways Parents Screw Up Their Kids Without Even Realizing It

1. Punishing them for doing something good. For example if the kid is in his/her room for a long time while guests are over, and when he/she comes out of their room the parent says, “Look who came out of their cave.” This highlights the fact that they were in their room and will worsen social anxiety in the future.

2. Praising them for their intelligence, rather than for working hard.

Children internalize that they have some quality that makes them better than others on some level in that they can do well without trying. They learn that their worth is based on this intelligence and that it’s the thing that generated success.

A lot of children go on to coast through high school, with everyone telling them how intelligent they are.

They never learn to study or work hard for something and then at some point they fail a test or get rejected for a job, or get fired, whatever. Now they are questioning their self worth. If intelligence was what led to success, and now I’m failing, that makes me a failure. Suddenly they have to learn how to apply themselves and what it means to work hard for something which is much more difficult to learn at that age.

3. Using your kids as therapists. My mother has always relied on me to talk out everything that happens to her. I proof read her texts and emails and it has absolutely ruined any chance of me having a mother, I’m so busy caring for her she can’t care for me.

4. Make promises they don’t keep. Good or bad — it is as bad to not give a punishment that should have happened as it is to not do that trip to Disneyland you said you would. You become unpredictable.

5. Being overprotective and strict, you’re just teaching your kid how to lie and hide things from you, you aren’t making them a better person.

6. Arguing in front of each other, as well as with other people constantly.

7. Compare them to other “better” kids.

8. Making them dependent on you for life by not allowing them to work, to get a driver’s license, to do any housework, not giving access to education, basically intentionally crippling them so that they have to depend on you.

9. Not respecting a child/teens privacy. Yes, kids will do things wrong but not every secret they keep is something negative. Treating everything a child keeps from an adult as something bad will bring on trust issues later in life. Personal growth is something that is learned and it takes mistakes to accomplish this.

10. Vandalizing their kid/teen’s privacy, like reading their journals and going through their phone without their consent.

11. Overemphasizing the importance of grades.

12. Setting them up to have an unhealthy relationship with food.

13. Going from 0 to 100 on anger scale for small things.

14. Being a hypocrite. No way the kid will function normally if (s)he thinks that’s normal.

15. Not saying a word to their kids for hours or days at a time, and never explaining why the parent is mad or upset. The child is left alone, trying to figure out what’s going on in their parent’s head.

16. Take their anger out on their kids and never apologize for it.

17. Berate and belittle them when opening up. Then wonder why, as adults, they don’t call you or answer your calls.

18. Constantly repeating the same lecture over and over again as if I’ve never heard it.

Like mom I get it, you were once poor. Even if I occasionally don’t finish my food, that doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful.

19. Every time they, especially if they’re boys, express a kindness to someone of the opposite gender, “Oh is she your girlfriend?” Ensue snickering. Or indicate they’re “horn dogs” or constantly thinking about sex. Shy people are built with this shit. Knock it off.

20. Constantly worrying about their own appearance and/or judging other people’s appearance in front of the kids is something I feel my mother really screwed me up with and I think a lot of parents may also do this without realizing.

21. Tell their kids that when they misbehave or mess up it makes them (the parents) look bad. My mom did this all the time and I still get anxiety about the things I do, it’s always in the back of my head, ‘Will this make my mom look good? Is this something she’d be proud of?’ Uggggh

22. Tell them to be honest then punish the child when they are. It teaches the kid to lie when they do something wrong rather than understanding what was done wrong and why the corresponding consequence is needed.

23. Try to make their kids little versions of themselves. You were not cloned you made a person with there own thoughts feelings and ideas of success.

24. Force/guilt their kids into hugging/kissing/touching people. There is almost always a reason why little Jimmy doesn’t want to touch grandpa. And no matter what “I don’t want to” is a good enough reason not to make your kid touch someone.

25. Giving a kid anything they want. All this does is make them grow up to be snobby adults that think everyone has to do things for them and that they’ll get anything they want. You see so many stories of athletes going through hardships and coming from terrible families and becoming the best at what they do. How often do we see success stories where the kid was allowed anything he wants at anytime, not as often. Overprotection and babying a kid through his/her life can be just as harmful as a child growing up with a family that can’t provide as easily and makes the child work for things. Long story short: be hard on your kids.

26. Treating waiters/retail workers like shit and/or whining like babies at said places whenever anything doesn’t go their way.

27. Blaming every character or physical flaw on the kid’s hobbies and activities and completely ignoring genetic and environmental factors.

My parents blame all of my problems (Introversion, Myopia, even Depression and other mental issues) on my PC use. They don’t listen when I argue otherwise.

28. Using gifts and basic necessities against them as guilt. Ie. “I can’t believe you think (other opinion) I give you shelter and bought you (insert birthday gift).” Or expecting you to agree to do whatever they ask because they bought you something for a holiday. I’m 21 and still really uncomfortable with being given anything by anyone or asking for any help, because I’m worried it’ll be used as leverage against me.

29. This isn’t a big screw up, but freaking out every time a young kid gets a bit hurt. Children learn a lot of their reactions by observing their parents, and you’ll often notice that after a small tumble or bump kids will look to their parents first and gauge their reaction, and then respond. If their parent is worried and immediately runs to try and soothe them, the baby is going to cry. If their parents are worried, they believe they should be worried as well. If their parents aren’t worried, they won’t cry. Over time, these reactions will become internalized and will develop similar responses to stress when they get older.

And obviously, if they’re really hurt, don’t play it off, but you will know when they’re hurt. A lot of the time, you notice a few second gap between when the incident happens and when the baby starts crying, and that’s when the baby is gauging their parents’ response. If there’s no gap, then they’re truly hurt and need attention right away.

30. Stigmatizing substances. Alcohol and pot are things to use with respect and moderation. I know that if I was introduced to alcohol much earlier in life and taught how to enjoy properly, I wouldn’t have gone through my rebellious period of binge drinking and smoking until I can’t feel feelings.

Legit. Teach your kids when enough is enough early.

31. Not make time for them.

32. Isolate them from other kids for years by homeschooling them and not socializing. Fucked me pretty good for a while.

33. Acting like their kids opinions don’t matter just because they don’t agree with it. Be a person and treat them like a person and have a conversation. In the end you can still say no for whatever reason because you’re the parent, but at least hear your kid out and make them feel like they have a voice.

34. Not vaccinating them.

35. Force them into religion.

36. Mocking them.

37. Ignoring signs of mental health issues and then when they end up in the hospital they act like they don’t know what went wrong.

38. Comment on their weight or appearance.

39. Put an iPad or something similar in their hands to shut them up.

40. Hitting them and not teaching them empathy or emotional intimacy.

Both of those things have royally fucked me up in a fair few ways.

41. Zero chores or pressure ever… then they move out and can’t handle themselves.

42. Leaving for extended periods when angry.

43. Forcing them to do their dream career when the child does not like it.

44. Removing any obstacles in their way that might otherwise help them learn and grow.

45. Punishment for honest accidents, accusing them of not caring if they forget about something. People forget, kids forget, it doesn’t mean you don’t care.

46. Slut shaming a girl when she’s a virgin and knows absolutely NOTHING about how a girl gets pregnant.

47. Thinking that they’re the same kid as when they were 8 and being confused when their now teenager has different interests and wants. Causes a lot of fights and misunderstandings.

48. Making them feel that they owe them for feeding them and taking care of them like it’s not their fucking responsibility since they decided to have a child.

49. Alcoholism. Don’t drink around your kids.

50. Emphasize “success” over happiness, and happiness over meaning.

[mostlywritersblock]

Dracula 2019 fic

Part 2

****

“You seem nervous.”

Zoe glanced up from the email she’d been reading to lock eyes with him. It’d been a total of 11 days since he’d showed up in her life. To say things haven’t been snowballing since then would be an understatement.

“I’m meeting with the board tomorrow for one final review. It shouldn’t be awful but they’re going to ask a lot of questions.”

“About me.”

“About the organization...but yes about you too.”

Dracula smiled sweetly, “And what are you going to tell them about me?”

Zoe narrowed her eyes and effectively closed out of her email. “I’m going to tell them the truth.”

Dracula’s smile fell.

“That we have absolutely no idea how you survived drinking my blood. That we’ve come to numerous dead-ends and have zero leads.” Zoe finished with a frustrated grunt.

Dracula nodded slowly, a thought seeming to occur to him. “This board, they know of my existence?”

Zoe threw him a flat look. “Of course they know about you, they’re funding the organization!”

She suddenly moved to pace around the room, but Dracula stopped her, placing both hands on her shoulders to hold her in place.

“Essentially then they’re just another organization with information on me.”

Zoe peered at him quizzically.

“Maybe they know something we don’t, maybe they have the answer?” He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so giddy suddenly. Was he that desperate to find a lead, to finally have a means to scratch the metaphorical itch he’d been feeling since the moment he was conscious. In short.

Yes. Yes he was desperate.

Or maybe just hungry

Maybe both?

****

Zoe wouldn’t let him come to the board meeting, not with the staggering amount of people and guns at the ready. Not that he minded. It was more out of precaution for them than anything.

And with good reason, Dracula thought.

He could definitely go for another bloodbath.

****

Zoe returned with a sour look and stomp in her step. She relayed to him the days events. Apparently the board was satisfied with the foundation but when one of them had broached the subject of Dracula’s location, Zoe had to stay tight lipped, least they treat her like she’s harboring a fugitive.

Dracula should really track down his lawyer.

Eventually one of the board members pulled her aside and delivered a tantalizing bomb in disguise. They claimed they saw right through her her attempts at denial and demanded she bring Dracula back in. They suspected she was hiding him somewhere and that she was somehow under his control-

Dracula laughed loudly at this part because let’s face it. It was ridiculous. Agatha would never allow it.

-Anyway, Zoe used her quick thinking and decided to strike up a deal with the board representative and-

“What kind of deal.” Dracula asked crossing his arms.

“I was just about to get to that part if you’d stop interrupting me.”

“Well then by all means, please. Carry on.”

Zoe rolled her eyes but continued.

“Basically they said they’d keep you a secret from the rest of the board and organization if you agreed to meet with their exc and exchange information regarding all things Vampire. They might also want to run some more test.”

Dracula pursed his lips, “So basically just another foundation/organization, we’re just cutting out the middle man, middle man being the -“

“Jonathan Harker Foundation, yes, also meaning we lose a huge chunk of our sponsors if we go through with the deal. The foundation is struggling as it is, I don’t know if it’ll survive another pay cut like this.”

“Yes, terribly tragic. Oh well, I see no other option than to proceed forward with the deal.”

“Of course you would say that, does my work mean nothing to you?” She meant it in the rhetorical sense but Dracula didn’t seem to realize.

“Zoe, if I make this deal there will be no more work at the foundation to do. You can simply just do so at this other organization.”

Zoe was about to comment that that wasn’t the point, that is was the principle, that her family and the Murrays had put so much-

“Zoe, this could be our one chance to learn more about what happened. I-I need to understand Zoe. After.” Here he took a deep breath unnecessary as it was, “after you made me realize that it was my fears holding me back and once I became aware of my circumstance after the incident I have this-this desire to understand what happened, this need to know why. It’s, It’s driving me insane Zoe. I can’t explain it. Just, Please.”

Some very old voice inside of Zoe told her she was being manipulated, but for some reason she didn’t care.

**

They agreed to the deal and plans were set in motion to meet with the excs the following day.

*****

Zoe can count on both hands the amount of times she has legitimately been nervous in her life; the past year she’s known Dracula making up at least half of them.

Still she shouldn’t be feeling as nervous as she was now, sitting in the lobby of a very nice, very posh building in downtown London. Dracula was sitting beside her, dressed to the nines per usual looking as cool a fucking cucumber.

Zoe suspected it wasn’t possible for him to get nervous in the same sense as she was. No fast pace beating of the heart, sweaty palms, or feeling the blood rush to your ears.

No, she suspected he didn’t have any of those symptoms.

******

When they reached the offices of the executives, Zoe assumed it would be the top floor. It was not.

The excs immediate reaction upon meeting Dracula was surprise, followed shortly by awe, and then finally disgust as it registered that this being killed people for a living.

Literally.

At least they all seemed moderately ashamed with themselves.

‘You’re one to talk,’ the old voice quipped. Zoe chose to ignore it.

*****

Every second they wasted idly chattering was a second more Dracula felt his brain wasting away. Weren’t these people supposed to be experts on all things Vampire? Weren’t they supposed to help him? Not the other way around. They asked all manners of questions, some teetering on the edge of rude to obscene, to downright idiotic and foolhardy. It was as if all information regarding vampires was the swill found in, what was it? The media? The television? Either way it was similar to the books of old that always portrayed vampires poorly.

Dracula was half tempted to give them a live demonstration of his so called ‘powers’ just to get them to shut up, when he remembered he was in public, in a very public building in a very public city.

He decided he’d just have to show them another time.

Probably on their days off.

*****

Leaving the executive room was something close to fresh air, if he needed to breath. Zoe was walking a little quickly, rushing on her way to the elevator. When she paused mid step and rounded on him.

“Was that or was that not odd to you?”

“You mean because we just wasted thirty minutes of our time with a bunch of imbeciles who knew nothing of vampires whatsoever.”

“Oh good so we’re on the same page.”

Dracula held up his thumb and index finger. “I was this close Zoe, this close to ripping off one of their heads!”

“Calm down it wasn’t that awful.” Zoe turned back towards the elevator.

“You’re right, it was worse.” Dracula followed quickly in after her.

“Look. I’m not sure why but the whole situation just didn’t sit right with me, I mean they were our sponsors for Christ sake, how could they not be informed.”

“I don’t know Zoe and frankly I don’t care at the moment I just want to leave here as soon a-“

“Hold on, notice that.” Zoe pointed to the number of floors inside the elevator. “We’re not on the top floor.”

“I don’t understand.” And he meant it to.

“We’re not even on the excs floor, look you need clearance to go up further.”

“Zoe I don’t thi-“

“Shut up, somethings not right here.” Zoe looked around once before stepping back onto the previous floor. She motioned for him to follow. Reluctantly Dracula walked out of the lift.

Zoe glanced around for a few more seconds before deciding something.

“Do me a favor, see that mechanic over there.” She nodded to other side of the office. “Distract them for me will you.”

Dracula let out another small sigh before moving but turned back around briefly, “You know I expect something in return for all my trouble in helping you.”

“I’d expect nothing less. Now hurry up.” She whispered.

Dracula made his way over and grabbed the mechanics attention with soft words and gentle hands. Zoe rolled her eyes as she approached from behind. Ever the charmer. Silently she searched for the key card. Finally she spotted it on the tool kit off to the side, not even on their person. Too easy.

Zoe swiped it.

*****

Back in the elevator Zoe ran the card through a security reader and the lift gave a small jerk as it moved upward.

“My, my Zoe, I hadn’t had you pegged for a petty criminal.”

Zoe flashed him a grin. “Not a criminal, just a Helsing.”

Dracula let out a soft chuckle.

A loud buzzing filled up the space suddenly and Zoe once again tore around in search of her phone. She froze though when she looked at the screen.

Dracula didn’t need to be a vampire to see her tense. Instantly he was on alert.

“Zoe, what’s wrong?”

She glanced up at him briefly before looking back at the buzzing phone.

“It’s Jack.”

“...Lucy’s friend?”

At the mention of the girl’s name Zoe flinched slightly.

Dracula felt himself relax, Jack wasn’t a threat. No matter how much the kid wish’d to be.

The elevator doors suddenly slid open. Zoe seemed torn before placing her phone on silent and stowing it away.

“I’ll call him back later.” Whether she was telling him or herself that, Dracula wasn’t sure.

They stepped out and instantly Dracula wonder not for the first time if Zoe had some sort of sixth sense for uncanny situations. They were in another office, bigger, nicer and far more expensive than the one several floors down.

“I knew it, I knew something was off earlier, someone or ones is trying to keep us from something.”

“The missing puzzle pieces maybe?” Dracula questioned hopefully.

Zoe made a beeline to the largest office in the room.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like we’re really close to something, of discovering something big and - and it’s here in this office.” Zoe didn’t wait for him before stepping through the glass doors. Dracula, finding his curiosity piqued followed after her.

****

TBC

[iwatchanimeoccasionally]

Alright so, here is the story of Larry (under the read more in case anyone doesn’t want this) 

PS this took me 1.5 hours to write and it is about 4.5 thousand words long. I don’t know what I was expecting, but damn. 

Sunday, I had the day off and had no plans so Larry was free-roaming from when I got up to about 7 in the evening and she was acting normal that entire time, when I switched her out for Nebula. Around 12:30 AM I went upstairs to give them all their supper and let Deku have her chance at free-roam before I went to bed, which she never takes so she just gets an hour with her cage open before I go to sleep. Immediately, I could tell something was wrong with Larry when she was huddled in her litter box and didn’t perk up and come check her hay when I put it in her feeder and jump up to see me. I called out for her a couple times, thinking maybe she was just sleeping really soundly, but still, she barely flicked an ear in my direction. I went ahead and finished feeding the other pets first, wanting to make sure everyone was taken care of before I could give 100% of my attention to Larry.

Finally, everyone was fed and watered, and Larry still wasn’t even acknowledging that I was feeding her when I gave her pellets, which she has always been super excited for. So I went in her cage, which I try to avoid doing because all rabbits would much rather come to you than have you in their personal space. I reached out to pet her, and she just let me. Might not seem like a huge thing if you don’t own rabbits or don’t know how mine are, but normally if she’s in her litter box and decide to pet her without her asking for it first, she will lunge and grunt at me. So, now I have a couple red flags being set off and scaring me. 

Already feeling the tears burning my eyes, I try to pick her up. Again, no fight. She just let me. Never happens. She likes being held sometimes, but never does she let me get in her cage and pick her up from her litter box without a fight! That is her sacred alone space that I shouldn’t be allowed to pet her in, let alone lifting her. So now I’m fully crying and taking her into my mom’s room because there is something deeply wrong with my baby and it’s nearly 1 AM at this point in a small town, so I don’t know what to do. I go in and just sob out, “There’s something really wrong with Larry.” 

Now, even with others cohabiting with her, I am the only one who really knows Larry. I mean, yeah, other people know some of her mannerisms and know that she is amazing and love her. But there is not a single person in this world who knows all about her like I do. So I’m blown off a little bit, Mom thinking that she might just be really tired or in a funny mood today. She has me put Larry on her bed to see how she acts, and she’s alert, moving around a little bit, but now anywhere near her normal activity levels. (meanwhile Alek is just wondering what the hell is going on because she’s not supposed to be in there, that’s his space, but he’s still nervous enough around her that he wouldn’t dare get close) I explain that she’s not eating, or expressing any interest in her food, and Mom’s first thought is, “Did you try giving her a bit of banana to see if she’ll eat that?”

Of course I hadn’t done that. The thought did very briefly cross my mind, but I immediately brushed it off because, fun fact, if your rabbit is having stomach issues it’s not really the best idea to give them sugar, which is enough to mess up their GI tract if handled poorly on a good day. But I go with it, run downstairs to get a banana to let her have a tiny bite of. When I go back upstairs, she’s acting mostly alert and immediately eats a bit of the fruit with no fight. Which seemed to put my mom’s mind to rest, but not mine. Because this isn’t normal and what if I just made it worse.

After expressing my concerns, I’m urged to just go back to bed and if she’s not back to normal in the morning, I can just call out from work and we’ll take her to the vet. So, Larry and I go back to my room and I put her back in her cage, where she immediately goes back to her litter box. I offer to hand feed her some pellets and sunflower seeds (black oil, the only kind they can have in moderation), neither of which she has ever been known to turn down. This time, though, she has 0 interest. She doesn’t even want to smell them. So I sit there for a while, still in tears, wondering what I can do for her. 

Then I remember that I have critical care! So I go downstairs to grab that, assuming this is all a case of stasis, which is terrible but supposedly manageable if you catch it in time and get your rabbit on critical care until you can go to the vet. I also grab her favorite treat, which is just made of compressed hay so I figure it won’t hurt her to have if she’s willing to eat it. When I get back upstairs, I pull Larry out again and we hang out on my bed, where I try to spoon feed her critical care because I don’t have a syringe so that’s the only way I can mange. She has zero interest, and when I try to put it on a piece of banana, she just eats what little banana she can get without critical care on it. But we hang out for a while, her mostly just laying in one spot and ignoring me. Until finally she gets tired of being there and decides it’s time to get back to her litter box. 

Back in her cage, I let her just lay there and sit as close as I think I can without feeling like I’m going to stress her out when she gets a bit closer to normal. For the next several hours we just sit there. I sing to her for a while, starting with her favorite song, as that’s something that usually calms her. 

Finally, 7 AM rolls around and I have been sobbing off and on for the pas 6.5 hours and she’s still not better. So, I leave her alone for a minute and go back to my mom, updating her on the situation and letting her know that we need to go to the vet (she’s driving because I’m not super comfortable driving on a good day, let alone when I’m crying myself sick over Larry). Of course, she tells me to call them and oops, I got times mixed up in my panic and exhaustion so they’re not even open for another hour. 

Still though, she’s taking me seriously and gets up to get ready. I call work while she’s in the bathroom. My newest coworker answers the phone and I didn’t even think to ask for a manager or anything, I’m just immediately off with, “Something’s really wrong with Larry and I’m not coming in today because I’m going to try to take her to the vet and even if they don’t have time for her, I can’t work when she’s like this. Oh yeah, Larry’s my rabbit, I don’t know if I’ve told you that before.” 

“Ok, so, you want me to tell *manager’s name* for you?”

Slight pause on my part as I realize I should’ve asked if she was working before I tell her to please do that for me. 

Eight come by finally, and the second the clock turns I’m dialing the vet. She offers me an 11 or I can bring Larry in sooner and they can work on her between appointments. I ask how soon, and she says I can come in as soon as possible, so of course I go with that option. 

By 8:15 we’re at the vet’s office and I’m checking her in. Larry’s already pulled up on the computer even though I never gave my name over the phone, so she’s well known enough there that they were able to find her without anything more than her name and species, and that makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside even through all the terror and panic. 

The vet asks a couple questions: what exactly is going on with her, how long has she been like this, was she normal on saturday(which my sleep deprived brain had a really hard time figuring out wasn’t just yesterday anymore), what do I normally feed her, those sorts of things. He also asked if he had permission to do x-rays and/or bloodwork if need be and I am just flabbergasted that he asked, replying with, “Do whatever it takes to help her.” He also tells me that cancer can sometimes cause those symptoms, and I immediately freak out because what am I gonna do if she has cancer? We’re out and on our way back home by 8:30, and surprise surprise, I cried through her check-in and all the way home. 

The next couple hours and a blur of stress and terror and anxiety as I try to convince myself that she’s not dying. 

At 10:20 the vet calls. He ended up taking x-rays and thinks her stomach and intestines are extremely full so he’s just going to give her fluids and monitor her for a while to see if she’s able to pass whatever blockage there may be on her own. I mentioned then that she was molting like crazy and I was having a hard time keeping up with brushing, so it might be her fur as I know that’s common with rabbits, and the doc agrees that may be it. We hang up then with a promise for him to call me back with more information in a couple hours.

1:50 comes and my concern is creeping in enough that I can’t keep fighting it off, so I call them back to see how she’s doing. The vet then tells me that he sent the x-rays off to a specialist to see what she thought and she told him that those were normal levels of fullness and that now it might be her liver so he needs to do bloodwork.  The tests were almost done when I called, so he said he’d call me back in about ten minutes when they finished.I’m already freshly terrified and breaking down because what if it is her liver? What then? 

20 minutes later, he calls back with bad news.  

I don’t remember what, exactly, the numbers were or what they were for, but one was about 4x what it was supposed to be and another was about double. This made the specialist think that she had a flipped liver lobe, which is apparently common in rabbits. What that means, though, is that she needs emergency surgery as soon as possible. He tells me the risks; he’s never done that surgery on a rabbit before, the specialist only does about 5 a year and has about a 60-80% success rate, surgery is already risky for rabbits, and it absolutely has to be done tonight. He then says that he’d really like to give it a shot and would do his very best for her if I chose to have him do it. Also said was the fact that I’d have to drive 2.5 hours in July in Iowa to get to the specialist, and I don’t know if you know this, but rabbits don’t do well with heat. And if we went to the specialist, they’d probably charge $1,000-$2,000 while he would only charge about $400 since it’d be a lot more risky to do such an experimental surgery with him. 

I am fully sobbing, crouched in on myself and guttural sobs wracking my body on the front porch when I hang up with him, having asked for 10 minutes to make some calls and come to a decision. Which was never really a decision anyway because she couldn’t handle that drive, I couldn’t pay the price, and the risks are still too high to go to the specialist. Really, I’m mainly just taking a second to break down and call my mom before I tell this man, who has never even met my baby before this incident, to do an extremely risky procedure on my baby, my entire world. 

When I talk to my mom, she offers to come home from work to be with me.After calling the vet back and leaving a message for her doctor to call me back, I go back inside to update the rest of my family and my grandma asks if I’m going to the vet to see her. I hadn’t even thought that was an option so I perk up a little and call my mom back to see if she would take me. Apparently, she had already assumed we were doing that. I’m still freaking out, but i feel a little better that I’ll be able to see her at least. While I wait for her to get to the house, I call my boss to let her know that I’d be missing Tuesday as well. I’m mostly composed when she answers, but as soon as she knows it’s me, she asks if I’m ok.

Of course, the answer is no and I start crying again when I answer. “So, Larry’s not ok?” And my boss is a good woman, I can hear the concern in her voice and she is completely ok with me missing another day when I explain the situation to her and let her know that there is no way I’m coming in tomorrow. Right when I’m hanging up, my mom pulls up and we’re off to the vet for the second time that day.

Just as we get there and let the person at the counter know we’re there for Larry, the vet calls me back and I let him know that I’m already there and that he had good timing. I can hear him echoing from the hallway and am no prepared for any of this.

He ushers us into a conference room then for some privacy. I immediately say, “If you can tell me that there are any odds of her surviving, I’ll let you do her surgery.” Being a doctor, he obviously responded with the risks and not promising anything, apparently thinking I wanted a promise that she’d live. All I wanted was a guarantee that she wasn’t doomed. The risks were still the same as before, and I was getting a little tired of hearing it all repeated back to me. 

Then I ask to see her, still half expecting to be told no, but he seemed to think that was the natural next step. So he started leading us back to her and he warned me that she was wearing a cone of shame because she had an IV for fluids and she kept trying to chew it out, which I actually was able to laugh at a little because that is so Larry of her. He also goes over her numbers with my mom because I sure didn’t pass along any information that I didn’t deem crucial. 

We get to her and she’s huddle in the back of the kennel, pissed off to have the cone on. The vet warns me not to let her jump out before he opens the door for me, and I’m in there like a rocket, petting her and talking to her and crying. I don’t remember everything I said to her, but I do know I said the following, “Please don’t die, you’re my entire world, you can’t die now,” “Be strong for me and get through this surgery like a champ,” “I love you so so much,” “I’m sorry you don’t feel good,” “I can’t do this without you, I love you so much, please be strong for me.”

Mom talked to her too, apparently telling her she can’t die because she doesn’t think I could go on if she did. 

We talked to the vet a bit more once we closed the kennel, my mom breaking down because she thought the number he gave me was for everything so far and the surgery would be $1000 and we can’t afford that. But he quickly assured us it wouldn’t be that expensive and it was the range he gave earlier, which I could handle. 

I also asked if this was something I did wrong, which it wasn’t, and if those numbers could happen in hours or if I had somehow missed signs for days, which I hadn’t. So, even though I was still completely broken, I at least felt a tiny bit of selfish relief that I hadn’t done anything wrong. 

Before I talked to her for the last time before leaving, I asked if she would have to stay overnight, which was a definite yes and he thought she might even have to stay the next night as well. He also let us know that it would be a few hours before he called again about how it went. 

The next couple hours, I’m so on edge, but I’m temporarily out of tears to cry after the first ten minutes or so of being home and updating my sister, who had been at work all day and just got home. Mom went back to work then, as well, since my sister was home and she knew I had company that would keep me from going too dark in my mind. 

At 5:10 I wander away from my phone for one minute, thinking the ringer would be loud enough to call me back if I got the call. 

At 5:11, I check my phone and see that I missed a call from the vet. 

At 5:12 I call back to see what’s up and get sent to the after hours answering service.

At 5:13 I notice I have a voicemail.

“Hi, this is Dr. *name* from *vet clinic name*. I’m just calling to let you know that Larry’s surgery went well and she’s awake.”

Immediately, I’m crying again, but finally it’s from happiness and relief rather than fear and an aching sadness. 

I call my mom right away and tell her the good news, crying all the while and ecstatic at finally having good news to share. 

I don’t remember then if I called them and requested the on-call vet or if he called me, but I was soon on the phone with the vet with him telling me the good news yet again. I thank him profusely and he asks if they could post pictures of Larry on their facebook page because they like doing that sometimes, which I wouldn’t have refused even if I didn’t love sharing pictures of Larry almost as much as I love her. 

Despite my relief, I miss Larry all evening and sleep is hard that night without her in the room.

The next morning, I get a call at 9:10 that Larry is alert and ready to come home! I shoot out of bed and we’re at the vet’s for her within 15 minutes. I open the carrier as soon as they bring her out, and she’s already trying to climb out to see me and I’m barely holding back my tears of joy. 

We have to stay then to talk to the assistant who brought her out, and all the while she’s standing up and looking around and just so happy to see me. Which I know sounds like I’m just projecting, but she genuinely was happy to see me and to be coming home. While we’re talking to the assistant, Larry’s normal vet comes out and comments on how good Larry is looking and how bad it sounded yesterday. 

We make it home by 10:30 and she is as you’d expect a rabbit to be after surgery. Her appetite is very low and she doesn’t want to drink water. I let it go for an hour before I call the vet, wondering if I need to be concerned at the fact that she’s barely eating or pooping and her poops are weird. All is to be expected and I’m told to call back around 3-4 if she’s not getting better. 

Eventually, I get tired just talking over the phone, and I just go the the office to show them a picture of her poop. Of course, I’m told that this is normal for a post-surgery bunny and her vet is nice so she’d never tell me that I’m being over protective and crazy paranoid, but I’m sure she’s thinking it. She gives me a probiotic to mix with her food just to make me feel better and make sure that Larry keeps pooping. 

The rest of that day is relatively calm, I keep Larry in her cage because rabbits need limited running and jumping right after surgery, and I have to stop myself from sitting with her all day and bothering her to eat and drink. Still, I can’t stop myself from checking her every half hour to hour. Eventually, she gets to the point where she sees me enter the room and grabs a piece of hay to get me off her back. 

The next morning(this morning) is a different story. I wake up at 6 AM to Nebula flipping out, chewing her litter box and trying to bang it around. I give her hay, because normally that’s all she wants when she’s being like that, then I look at Larry because as long as I’m awake I should check on her.

She’s laying sprawled out with her stomach pressed on the bottom of her cage. Normal way to lay down for rabbits, sure. Not normal? I called her name and she didn’t respond. I immediately panic, calling the on-call vet before I’m even to her cage. 

Her normal vet answers, groggy and clearly just waking up, and as soon as I hear her name I’m crying and saying, “Larry’s not responsive and laying with her stomach pressed to the floor and I’m scared.” 

“That’s not normal. I can meet you at the office, but it won’t be until 7.” The vet clinic is split with a couple other towns and the vets are shared, so I assume she just lives that far away? Whatever the reason, I agree and she says she’ll call me when she’s nearly there. 

Naturally, I go to wake up my mom again to update her and to cry to her again. She tells me to go ahead and get Larry ready to go, which I do, and as soon as I offer the carrier to Larry, she starts to perk up and climbs in. I take her to sit in the hallway then, opening the top to pet her. After a few minutes, she hops out and just starts wandering, like nothing is even wrong.

Even still I want to go in because what if I’m not crazy? So I put her away for a bit until I get the call to head in, and she’s acting normal. Of course. At this point I think she might just be a little groggy and harder to wake up, but nothing scary. 

We go in, and the vet is happy to see her relatively normal. Again, she’s too nice to call me crazy, but I apologize for it anyway and she brushes me off, saying she’d rather see her and have it be nothing than the opposite, which is my thought exactly. 

After examining her, the vet decides she seems to be in good health but her temperature is a little high, so she gave her a shot of penicillin and tells me to check back in on Friday because it’s supposed to last two days. Since then, she’s been (almost) her normal self. 

She’s still on cage rest and I’m forcing myself to leave her alone more today and she’s really starting to seem better. She’s eating on her own more and I actually have a funny story from earlier today.

I went to check on her and gave her a treat to try to get her to eat more. She took it from me and I was really happy, because that hadn’t happened since she came home. I thanked her then for eating, and she started to eat a piece of hay. Again, I thanked her and asked her to keep doing that if I left her alone. So, I closed the door to her cage and she stopped eating. “No, keep eating,” I say and she starts chewing again. I take a few steps away and notice that she finished the piece she was eating but kept pretending to chew. “Come on, actually eat please.” She chins her food, like she could fool me into thinking she was eating by having her face close to the hay. “That’s not eating, I’m not dumb.” Finally she grabs a piece and starts chewing, stopping as soon as I turn my head even though I’m still watching her. “I see you...” And finally, she keeps eating and I hear her still munching as I leave the room.

And, for the latest update for the day, I went to give her dinner a little early because I want a schedule for the probios stuff she gets with her food, and she had eaten a good amount of her alfalfa hay (which she normally doesn’t get because it’s got a higher fat content that timothy, but I have some on hand for growing girl Nebula and it’s more tasty so she gets that until her appetite is closer to normal) and when I gave her romaine lettuce (to help with fiber and hydration) she ate a decent amount from hand feeding before she got tired of that, but then she ate all the rest that I just left in there for her! 

So, long story short, Larry very nearly died but she didn’t and she’s looking pretty good right now!

[deviationdivine]

Nightcall (RK800-60 x Reader)

TLDR: Even androids can have nightmares... 

Word Count: 1506

TW: Angst to Fluffy Fluff (One-Shot)

((60 needs more love movement continues until I hop back on the full angst train))

"Do you really think Y/N loves you for you, RK800-60?"  A disembodied voice cuts sharp in the unfamiliar setting. There is no warmth from the very person he held what seems like moments ago. There is clinical cold, stormy in its terrain as the Zen garden appears decayed. No longer connected to anything and slowly dying from its loss of power.  His eyes shift across searching unable to find an exit. It strikes him in the chest. Stress makes his synthetic heart pump in laboring thrums increasing his absolute fear. Is this real? No! It’s impossible!

Please. An internal plea to escape his personal hell fuels his stress levels. Nothing comes from his lips as he remains trapped, unable to work his body. Please, please take me back!

He is free. He’s not connected anymore. How did it find him?

Everything is cold. This is no longer that safe place where he is wanted and loved. He doesn’t have to be afraid of failing. Not with you but this isn’t where you are. This is a nightmare. 

Is this what Connor sees? Does he know about this?!

Frantic, disabled from finding a way out, RK800-60 feels as he did first becoming deviant. It wasn’t his choice but he does not want to lose how he feels. If he does you will fade away. He cannot bear that.

Why is this happening? The android’s eyes dart quickly taking in surroundings. No longer bright or pretty but frigid, barren a drop in the abyss which he falls down to knees.

Dropping there now upon frozen ground he can only be at the mercy of the master program. Trying to reach out now for a sign of that warm cocoon he last remembers, instead his panic stricken gaze lands on the familiar gray sleeves of Cyberlife issue jacket. He holds arms up now studying the return of his mark for them, created for the purpose of destruction. Blue glows stitched in the fabric like a chain as it once again brands him in service. 

No! No, please don’t take me from Y/N! "You're nothing," the voice continues out of those shadows morphing entire garden. A forgotten domain perhaps and in a way it is because there was no more reach to stretch out and capture what it once controlled. Yet it speaks the fears of the trapped android who becomes subject of its vicious taunts. "You’re just a copy. Of the first. The original."

The narrator, moving out of the withering shadows cast by dead trees swallow up in the abyssal garden showing true colors. Starkly its source wore white and looked on with sharp disappointment. "You'll never be good enough. You never were. Not even to me." "Amanda?" His voice finally activates but it is not right. He sounds warbled. As if he is suffering a malfunction. Why can he not scan or run a diagnostic on his system? No. It is not reality. This is an irrational fear manifesting. Somehow this is inside his head.

Get it out! Make it stop! "Look what your disobedience has gotten you. Nothing but a hopeless fantasy and hope is not for androids." The image of Amanda spoke his deepest fears for all to hear within the unmade Zen garden. "Did you think you could escape? Like Connor did? That you could find love, live a free life?”

He sunk further under Amanda’s scolding. Ripping at his free will tore it to pieces. No longer thinking clearly only falling into the quicksand tugging him back into his programming shackles. Only the voice of Amanda twists him. As before long ago at the Cyberlife warehouse when it no longer defines him. That’s all gone. His freedom, his happiness is destroyed.

“You could have been so much more,” Amanda continues to cast down the android where he belongs. In service to his creators as it is meant to be. “You’re a great disappointment to me…”

You’ve been a great disappointment to Amanda you know. You’ve been a great disappointment to me.

Somehow it’s his voice. He watches as Amanda becomes him but with zero emotion, only a shell imprisoned inside his own body. That’s what he is. He’s a machine. 

“Look what you’ve become.” The doppelganger points at the battered, broken android. “A filthy deviant. You made me into this. You allowed it. To become weak. This is where you belong in the Zen garden.”

No, he does not belong here. He belongs only where he is complete. Wake up. Just wake up...

“Wake up,” your voice is too insistent to hide nerves. Attempting to shake him out of stasis for the last ten minutes it’s complete panic at this point. Thrashing around in bed is so frighteningly human you felt sick. What is going on in his head? This is too real now. “Sixty, please wake up!” 

The android’s eyes pop open staring wildly about unable to focus with anxiety levels pushing their limit. Red flashes lighting up dark room in a warning.

^83%

Level of Stress 

Immediately your breath catches when he grabs on desperately and all you can do is press close to still him. His body trembles causing you to cup the android’s face gingerly to soothe the obvious spike in anxiety. It takes everything in your will power not to show how scary this is. 

“Y/N?” RK800-60′s voice muffles. Burying his face into your neck helps. Circling arms around waist presses both of you together. That’s where he stays saying nothing further because he did not have to. 

He is with you now. It’s all he wants. This is real. It must be real because your skin is warmly human against synthetic. 

“A bad dream?” Asking gently you already had an idea. Of all the time that passed since he started sharing this space with you it’s the first it’s happened. Circling his LED with a fingertip calms both questions and his stress as you anxiously wait for it to stop flashing crimson.

“Am I good enough?” The android asks to counter your previous question. Bad dreams. Androids are not supposed to dream or so he thought. 

Good enough? What is...? “Of course you’re good enough,” whispering these feelings brought everything to the surface. For you it’s so simple as it makes this real between you. At least you thought so. To hear him doubt himself only fuels a terrible ache in your heart. “Don’t ever ask me that. You’re everything.”

Everything. He savors the sweet words from your lips. It’s his lifeline. There is nothing else. How can there be when you are the reason?

“Y/N, I-I’m sorry. I just want to be more. How can I be more when I’m a copy, when I wasn’t meant...”

“Stop right there.” You interrupt almost angry. Never at him but this idea is too much to wrap a head around. Tonight started so wonderfully until you couldn’t stay awake any longer. He came to bed as he does every night to mimic your sleep patterns. Falling into stasis after a while as he’s wont to do; your lips touch his burning temple kissing the flashing glow. 

He leans close then. Clutching onto your hips, tangling needful beneath blankets; RK800-60 settles into your body like a satellite orbiting the globe. Attached in his struggle for validity, conscious of laboring breaths escaping your lips and it sends him home. This is home. He fought out of the nightmare to return to you. 

“You’re not just a copy,” you soothe in words and actions. Stroking fingers through his unruly hair, you smile at the soft curls threading through them. “You’re my Sixty.” 

A serial that is a nickname for him now and no longer merely a construct of what he was built as. A copy of Connor. 

The android listens to your heartbeat for a while. Keeping his head atop your chest and focusing on stress levels makes this calmer. He feels better. This traumatic nightmare won’t prevent this life especially with you. 

How gullible, utterly stupid can he be? How could he ever question? Having this love despite his being an android, a copy of another, makes him feel like someone. 

“Forgive me, My Love.” 

A soft declaration on his breath is all you can think about now. He’s that distracting on a good day. “You’re most certainly forgiven, Honey Bun.” 

The light giggle out of you draws his head up and a crooked smile spreads teasingly across his lips. No longer at the mercy of his mind you are the only thing on it at this point. His peppering kisses dusting all over your face, neck and chest answers well enough. Return affection is all he needs to lower stress. It falls moderately and finally yellow blooms beneath your tender touch. 

He keeps your fingers pressed to his indicator. Knowing that you accept him is all the medicine he would need. Even if androids can dream there is only one person he would call out to in the night. 

You.

[newnewyorker93]

Fanfic Stats Tag Game

(opportunistic tagging by @dixiehellcat)

Author name: remreader

Fandoms I write for: so far just the MCU (and mostly Pepperony & Iron Family stuff)

Where I post: AO3 (I post stuff on tumblr too tagged as "#my writing" but I think all of it has ended up on ao3?)

Most popular one shot: Help Isn't a Four-Letter Word - a little MIT era fic where Tony ends up in the hospital for Howard-related reasons & Rhodey is a good friend

Most popular multi-chapter story: I don't have any multi-chapter stories yet so I'll just say my 2nd most popular one shot - Late Night at the Stark Residence (Tony & Morgan fluff set during the Endgame time jump, with some Pepperony at the end)

Favorite story I wrote: oof I'm terrible at picking favorites. Um I'm still very fond of Somewhere Starks End Up, it was my first real fic and I liked writing a bit of Tony & Rhodey's friendship (it's set shortly after Howard & Maria's deaths). And Sunflowers - it's short & sweet and now I associate sunflowers with Tony, which is kinda fun 🌻

Story you were nervous to post: Honestly pretty much all of them? Most recently Half the Universe, Plus One because it took me a long enough time to get it all the way finished (literally wrote a 3,500 word procrastination fic in the middle lol) that I started doubting myself quite a bit. And Somewhere Starks End Up, because it was my first real fic and I had no idea what kind of reaction to expect or if anyone would even notice it (or if I was tagging it properly lol)

How do you choose your titles: Hope something at least moderately clever pops into my head at some point during the writing process. Titles are hard.

Do you outline: Does scribbling notes in the memos section of my phone/on scraps of paper at work until I have enough to try & assemble into an actual fic count?

How many stories: 21! Several of them are drabbles though, and short little tumblr ficlets.

Do you take prompts: Theoretically, yes! No one has ever sent me any but I'm totally open to the idea. (Practice Makes Perfect came about from an idea/request rebelmeg added onto one of my little ficlet-y things, so I'm gonna say that sort of vaguely counts as a prompt. ish.)

Story you are most excited to write: Still in the notes-slowly-coalescing-into-sentences phase but I'm working on my first collaboration! So that's pretty exciting 😊

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions (as always, zero pressure!): @trammelsb @xxx-cat-xxx @rebelmeg @yesmooshoe @elphierix

[nancydsmithus]

15 Questions To Ask Your Next Potential Employer

15 Questions To Ask Your Next Potential Employer

Robert Hoekman Jr

2019-09-20T12:30:59+02:002019-09-20T10:34:39+00:00

In my book “Experience Required”, I encourage in-house UX professionals to leave companies who refuse to advance their UX intelligence and capability. There are far too many companies these days who understand the value of UX to waste your time being a martyr for one who will only frustrate you. Your best chance of doing a good job is to avoid a bad position.

Smartly, during a recent Q&A about the book, an audience member asked how we can avoid taking these jobs in the first place. What kinds of questions, he wondered, can you ask during an interview to spot red flags before the company stabs the whole flagpole into your sacred UX heart?

Know What You Want To Know

There’s the usual stuff, sure, such as asking why the position you’re applying for is currently open. What the company’s turnover rate is like. Why that turnover rate is so low or high. A little Googling will easily enough net you a decent list of broad questions you can ask any employer.

But what you really want is to get UX-specific. You want to hone in on precisely what your life might be like should you take the position.

Your best chance of doing a good job is to avoid a bad position.

“

Sadly, I lacked a great answer at the time to the question about interview questions, so I let it eat at me until I woke up at three a.m two days later and started writing notes. That morning, I emailed my reply to the moderator.

Ask A Great Question, Then Shut Up

To devise the list below, I considered what kinds of things I’d wish a company knew and understood about UX prior to working with them. I can operate in all kinds of situations—as a UX and process innovation consultant, this has been my job, and pleasure, for nearly 13 years now—but I want to know from the start, every time, that the effort will be set up for success. These questions aim to uncover the dirty details that will tell me what I’m walking into.

Much like a good validation session or user interview, these questions are open-ended and designed to draw out thoughtful, long-winded responses. (One-word answers are useless.) I strongly recommend that when and if you ask them, you follow each question with a long, stealthy vow of silence. People will tell you all about who they are if you just shut up long enough to hear them do it. Stay quiet for at least ten seconds longer than you think is reasonable and you’ll get the world.

People will tell you all about who they are if you just shut up long enough to hear them do it.

“

I’d ask these questions of as many individuals as possible. Given that tech interviews are often hours-long and involve many interviewers, you should be able to grab yourself a wealth of good answers before you head out the door to process and sleep.

If, on the contrary, you are given too little time to ask all these questions, prioritize the ones you’re personally most concerned about, and then consider that insufficient interview time might be a red flag.

Important: The key to the answers you receive is to read between the lines. Listen to what is said, note what is not said, and decide how to interpret the answers you get. I’ve included some red flags to watch out for along with each question below.

The Questions

Let’s get right to it.

1. How does this company define UX? As in, what do you believe is the purpose, scope, and result of good UX work?

Intent

Literally every person on Earth who is asked this question will give a slightly, or wildly, different answer than you expect or hope for. At the very least, the person interviewing you should have an opinion. They should have a sense of how the company views UX, what the various UX roles have to offer, and what effect they should have.

Red Flag(s)

The UX team has a very limited role, has no real influence, and the team, for the most part, is stretched so thin you could put them on a cracker.

2. How do the non-UX people on your product team currently participate in UX decisions? Follow-ups: Describe a recent example of this kind of participation. What was the UX objective? How was that objective vetted as a real need? What did you do to achieve the objective, step-by-step? How did it turn out? What did you learn?

Intent

Find out how the entire product team approaches UX and how collaborative and supportive they might be in acquiring and acting on good research insights.

Red Flag(s)

They don’t participate in UX decisions.

3. What UX roles exist in the organization, and what do they do?

Intent

Determine where you’ll fit in, and how difficult it might be for you to gain influence, experience, or mentorship (depending on what you’re after). Also, build on the previous question about who does what and how.

Red Flag(s)

UX people at the company are heavily skilled in graphic design, and not so skilled in strategy. The current team members have limited influence. Your role will be similar. Strategy is handled by someone else, and it trickles down to the UX team for execution.

4. Who is your most experienced UX person and in what ways does that experience separate them from others?

Intent

Determine the range of UX intelligence on the team from highest to lowest. Is the person at the top whip-smart and a fantastic leader? Does that person mentor the others and make them better?

Red Flag(s)

The interviewer cannot articulate what makes that person better or more compelling than others. If they can’t answer this question, you’re speaking to someone who has no business making a UX hiring decision. Ask to speak to someone with more inside knowledge.

Noteworthy, but not necessarily a red flag: If you learn that the most experienced person on the team is actually someone with a very sleight skill set, this can mean either there’s room for you to become an influencer, or the company puts so little value on UX that they’ve selected only employees with a small view of UX. The latter could mean you’ll spend all your time trying to prove the value of bigger UX involvement and more strategic work. You may like that sort of thing. I do. This would not be a red flag for me. It might be for you.

5. What are the company’s plans for UX long-term? (Expand it? Reduce it? How so, and why? Is there a budget for its expansion? Who controls it and how is it determined?)

Intent

Map out your road for the next couple of years. Can you rise into the role you want? Or will you be stuck in a cul-de-sac with zero chance of professional growth?

Red Flag(s)

We plan to keep doing exactly what we do now, and what we do now is pretty boring or weak. Also, we have no budget—like, ever—so if you want to bring in a consultant, attend a seminar, hire another person, or run a comprehensive usability study with outside customers, well, good luck with that.

6. How do UX professionals here communicate their recommendations? Follow-up: How could they improve?

Intent

Learn how they do it now, and more importantly, whether or not it works.

Red Flag(s)

The interviewer has no answer, or—far worse—has an anti-answer that involves lots of arm-waving and ideas falling on deaf ears. The former can, again, mean the interviewer has no business interviewing a UX candidate. The latter can mean the UX team is terrible at communicating and selling its ideas. While this can be overcome with your much better communication skills, it will almost certainly mean the company has some baggage to wade through. Poor experiences in the past will put other product team members on defense. You’ll have to play some politics and work extra heard on building rapport to get anywhere.

7. Who tends to offer the most resistance to UX recommendations and methods and why? Follow-up: And how much power does that person have?

Intent

This person will either give you the most grief or will give you the great opportunity to improve your communication skills (remember: design is communication!). Knowing who it is up front and how that person operates can tell you what the experience will be like.

Red Flag(s)

Executives, because they distrust UX. If you lack support at the top, it will be a daily struggle to achieve anything substantive.

8. What do UX practitioners here do to advance their values and methods beyond project work? Please be specific.

Intent

See how motivated the UX team is to perpetuate UX values to the rest of the company and improve how the team works.

Red Flag(s)

They don’t.

9. What do you think they should do differently? Why?

Intent

Discover how your interviewer feels about UX. This is, after all, a person who has a say in hiring you. Presumably, this person will be a big factor in your success.

Red Flag(s)

Keep their noses out of product development, stop telling the engineers what to do (speaks to perception of pushy UX people).

10. Describe a typical project process. (How does it start? What happens first? Next? And then?)

Intent

Find out if there is a process, what it looks like, and how well it aligns with your beliefs as a UX professional.

Red Flag(s)

You’ll be assigned projects from the top. You’ll research them, design a bunch of stuff in a vacuum with no way to validate and without any iteration method, and then you’ll hand all your work to the Engineering team, who will then have a thousand questions because you never spoke to each other until just now.

Bonus Question

How and when does the team try to improve on its process? (If it doesn’t, let’s call that a potential red flag as well.)

11. How has your company learned from its past decisions, and what have you done with those learnings?

Intent

UX is an everlasting experiment. Find out if this company understands it’s supposed to learn from the work and become smarter as a result.

Red Flag(s)

No examples, no thoughts.

12. If this is an agency who produces work for clients: What kind of support or backup does this agency provide for its UX recommendations, and how much power does the UX group have to push back against wrongheaded client ideas? Follow-ups: How does the team go about challenging those ideas? Provide a recent example.

Intent

Find out how often you’ll be thrown under the proverbial bus when a client pushes back against what you know to be the right approach to a given problem. Your job will be to make intelligence-based recommendations; don’t torture yourself by working with people who refuse to hear them.

Red Flag(s)

The interviewer says the agency does whatever the clients demand. You will be a glorified wireframe monkey with no real power to change the world for the better.

13. How does the company support the UX group’s work and methods?

Intent

Determine how the company as a whole thinks about UX, both as a team and a practice. Is UX the strange alien in the corner of the room, or is it embraced and participated in by every product team member?

Red Flag(s)

UX is a strange alien. Good luck getting anyone to listen to you.

14. What design tools (software) does your team use and why? Follow-ups: How receptive are people to trying new tools? How does evolution happen?

Intent

Know what software you should be familiar with, why the team uses it, and how you might go about introducing new tools that could be better in some situations.

Red Flag(s)

Gain insight into how the team thinks about the UI portion of the design process. Does it start with loose ideas drawn on napkins and gradually move toward higher-quality? Or does it attempt to start with perfection and end up throwing out a lot of work? (See the next question for more on this.)

15. Does a digital design start low-fi or high-fi, and what is the thinking behind this approach? Follow-up: If you start lo-if, how does a design progress?

Intent

You can waste a lot of hours on pixel-perfect work you end up throwing out. A company who burns through money like that is also going to be the first one to cut staff when things get tight. No idea should be carried through to its pixel-perfect end until it’s been collaborated on and vetted somehow, so you want to know that the company is smart enough to start lo-fidelity and move gradually to hi-fidelity. Hi-fi work should be the result of validation and iteration, not the start of it. A lo-fi > hi-fi process mitigates risk.

Red Flag(s)

All design work starts and ends in Photoshop or Sketch, and is expected to be 100% flawless and final before anyone sees what you’ve produced.

Running The Interview

In an unrelated Q&A years ago, a hiring manager asked how to spot a good UX professional during an interview. I answered that he should look for the person asking all the questions. I repeated this advice in Experience Required.

Now you can be the one asking all the questions.

And in doing so, not only will you increase your odds of being offered the gig, you’ll know long before the offer shows up whether to accept it.

If you, dear reader, have more ideas on how to scavenger-hunt a company’s red flags, we’re all ears. Tell us about it in the comments below.

(cc, il)

[vasilibox720]

4,6,14,15,16,17,18,20,26

You… you really just sent this ask to ask about yourself, didn’t you… come on Nia!! Six of these presumably involve you! :P

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents

Obviously the first answer is “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain, because – well you know why and probably no one else needs to. I embarrass myself enough on this website lol.

My dad gave me the great gift of crying every time I hear “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin because he cries every time he hears it even though I’ve told him many times he’s not like the dad in the song.

And I guess my mom also gave me the song “Don’t Take the Girl” by Tim McGraw, which sticks with me more than most of the other country songs because it always made me cry because the girl was dying at the end of the song.

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)

Already answered.

14. three songs you want at your wedding

I don’t really know how to discern between #14 or 15 when we both know I am incapable of dancing.

Definitely gotta have “Enchanted” by Taylor Swift. Did you know I was enchanted to meet you?

And another good one to have would be “Main on End” by Alan Silvestri from Avengers: Endgame, since no one else would know by the end of the song they’d be dancing to the Avengers theme.

Probably would be good to have a classic, so let’s go with “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

I have absolutely zero idea what constitutes a dance-able song versus one you can’t dance to. If we’re being realistic, we don’t dance lol so this is just a continuation of #14.

George Strait’s “Carrying Your Love with Me” is sweet and short and certainly the kind of country we enjoy.

And then we can go for the complete opposite – “Turn Down for What” by DJ Snake and Lil Jon! That’ll remind us both of the music back at our respective homes.

“Smooth” by Santana ft. Rob Thomas is a fun song so that can be another one.

16. three favourite songs for sex

When have we ever listened to music —- ?????? I am just going to put 3 songs about sex.

“I Just Had Sex” by The Lonely Island ft. Akon

“Tonight (I’m Fuckin’ You)” by Enrique Iglesias

“Kiss It Better” by Rihanna

17. three songs that remind you of your crush

"Body Like a Back Road” by Sam Hunt because you like it a lot

Even though “Scars to Your Beautiful” has a chorus I cried about the first time I heard it because I thought you needed to hear the inspiration, “I’m Yours” by Alessia Cara is definitely either one of us if not both.

Thankfully “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down no longer fits our dynamic, so I’m going to go with “In the Name of Love” by Martin Garrix and Bebe Rexha because it’s moderately romantic though if we weren’t necessarily looking for sappy crush songs I could also throw in “Everyday” (ft. Future) or “God is a woman” by Ariana Grande.

18. three songs that remind you of your best friend

You really enjoy doubling up these asks, don’t you? Lmao

“River” by Bishop Briggs because we both looked at each other during American Idol last year and thought this song’s a fucking banger how have we not heard of it???

“Throw It On the Ground” by The Lonely Island because you heard it once and now you think it’s like your anthem lol.

“How to Be a Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds because you absolutely adore her.

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

Well, I certainly remember bothering the hell out of you in 2016 with “Bushes of Love” by Bad Lip Reading on YouTube – and now that I remembered about it, I’ll do it again!

And you’ll never let me skip “Old Town Road (Remix)” by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus when it’s on the radio (nor do I want to).

Hmm… and how could I not say “Buy Me a Boat” by Chris Janson?

26. three favourite non-English songs

My favorite Greek artist is definitely Notis Sfakianakis, and his best song is “Na Hareis” by far. I even wrote a translation for my Greek class (which I currently cannot find but I definitely did).

A Spanish song that’s stuck with me from my childhood is “Bella (She’s All I Ever Had)” by Ricky Martin. Even though there’s an English version of the song on the same 1999 album, the Spanish version sounds so much more majestic and romantic.

And finally I’ll use this opportunity to squeeze a film score in, since they don’t have lyrics. John Williams’ “Mischief Managed!” from Prisoner of Azkaban is the single best end credits suite I’ve ever heard and will ever hear.

You know there were dozens of other songs I could swap in for any of these.

[behardonyourself]

My Ironman Training and Nutrition

As I have mentioned numerous times here on this blog and in my social media profiles, I am training for a full Ironman 140.6 in November, and I am doing so on a plant powered diet.  Recently, I have been asked quite a bit about what that entails and what does a typical day look like for me.  I am going to set up a full training log that’ll be easy to navigate, but here I am going to lay out my outline, strategy, and mindset.

First, a little background about me.  Like many, I have a family:  My elementary school teacher wife, coach, and therapist Lisa, my 14 year old son Peyton, and my 9 month old daughter Ava.  In June, it was only me and Lisa and our pets, Knox (coon dog that barks entirely too much) and Izzy (Juliana piglet that thinks he is a human).  Ava was born in July.  Of course, adding an infant to the mix drastically changes any family.  Peyton came to live with us full time in October.  So our empty nest became a full nest seemingly overnight.

Of course, I have the challenges that any parent has:  Get Kid A to Point B at Time C.  Make sure homework is done, kids are fed and bathed, the animals are walked, the house is taken care of, bills are paid, etc.

I also have a very rewarding, yet very demanding career.  I am in new homes sales here in the DFW.  My schedule is very demanding, requiring me to work 8 hour days a couple of days during the week, a 10-12 hour day on Thursday for training, and a minimum of 25-30 hours on the weekend, every weekend.  Similar to most retail jobs.  I am also involved in the mortgage and financing portion of the job, and assisting clients with becoming ready to buy a new home.  Even if I’m not at work, I’m typically doing something work-related.  I am typically REQUIRED to be at the office 55-60 hours per week and spend another 4-6 hours per week when I’m “off” meeting clients for loan applications, closings, or on the phone providing whatever service they need.

I give you my background NOT to have a pissing contest with people that do more or less than I do, but to make a simple point:  THIS IS LIFE.  On the surface, TIME is not easy to come by.  But training and reaching the goal of becoming an Ironman is a top priority to me, so I don’t look for time:  I make time.

Sometimes I wake up at 3:30am for a run or a ride on the Peloton or to hit the rower.  

Sometimes I get in a session at 6pm.  

8pm.  

10pm.  

It isn’t the perfect “routine” that so many people strive for - but it is what it takes for me to get what I need to do done.

A few questions that I probably should answer now.

First:  What the fuck IS an Ironman 140.6?

An Ironman 140.6 is a Triathlon that consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and a 26.2 mile run (a full marathon) which equals 140.6 miles.  They are completed in that order, consecutively, with little to no break in between.  Competitors have 17 hours to complete the race with cut-offs for each of the 3 events during the race.

What is a plant powered diet?

Plant powered is exactly what it sounds like.  In short, I don’t eat foods that come from animal products.  This includes all meat, seafood, and dairy.  Initially, I shifted to being plant powered because I just felt better.  I’ve never felt like I could perform optimally on a typical bodybuilder style diet, and the immediate improvements that I felt completely sold me on this lifestyle.  

In short, I eat what would be considered a “Vegan” diet.  I don’t like that label for a few reasons, but I’m not going to get into that here.  I do know that a lot of people think of vegans as scrawny, spindly types and I am obviously not that.  In fact, more and more pro athletes are shifting to this style of nutrition and are able to maintain (and even increase) lean body mass without issues.

Hell, I’m still a bad ass and have a lot more muscle than those guys chugging down protein shakes, slamming steaks and consuming 1g-1.5g of protein per pound of bodyweight.  I’m just able to run a lot further than they are...

But how do you get your protein?

The same way a motherfucking silverback gorilla gets his - by eating fucking plants!  Beans, seeds, nuts, veggies, grains - they provide more than enough readily absorbed and useful protein to provide us with what we need to fuel and recover.

What is your training program?

Unless you are planning to compete in an Ironman, my training should not matter to you.  I do a lot of shit.  Although I hadn’t done much in the previous 5 years, I had 20 plus years of training experience prior to that and thankfully, my body quickly remembered life before I became a fat ass.  Yes, I lost 60lbs in under 4 months.  But if you are untrained and looking to mimic what I did/do, you may fucking die or get seriously injured.

With that being said, my training is very specific.  To become a better runner, one must run.  To become a better swimmer, you gotta swim.  To become a better cyclist, you have to put the bike miles in.

In October, running 1/2 mile almost killed me.  I own a Peloton and had ridden it frequently (even fat and drinking every day), but I had never been on a good road bike.  I hadn’t swam a meaningful lap since Air Force Pararescue training in 1995.  Needless to say, I was starting from ground zero.  Hell, I was in the basement.

One important thing to realize is the actual breakdown of the Ironman.  The water is about 10%, the bike about 50%, and the run is about 40% of the race.  Now, we obviously need to focus on our weaknesses.  If I can’t swim 1/4 of a mile without drowning, nothing else matters.  So there is a minimal level of competence required.  But I do focus a lot on the bike, because a) I have a Peloton in my home and it allows me to get miles no matter the weather, my schedule, etc. and b) the bike is the lion-share of the race, c) cycling is low impact and tends to help me increase training volume without increasing injury risk while also facilitating recovery and d) I am actually not terrible in the water or as a runner.

My training typically runs about 15-25 hours per week.  Yes, that is a lot.  I view my training cycle as a two week breakdown vs one week, because that gives me a better picture for assessing where I am at and how I am doing.  I mix in a couple of “accessory” training days to focus on overall strength (resistance training), variety (I love the row machine), core, etc.  Here is a typical training breakdown for me.  

Know that I walk my dog nightly (1-2 miles) and sometimes do that weighted with 65-75lbs of weight.  My days off change every week, so I’m listing everything by Days 1-14.  Days 6-7 and 13-14 are weekends (since those never change) and days 4 and 11 are Thursdays, which also never change.  The other days may change depending on what time I have to work or get off, but my Thurs, Sat, Suns are fairly consistent.  These are days I’m typically up at 4am. 

Current Benchmarks: Last week I ran 20.2 miles right at a 10 min per mile clip.  I was fine and could’ve run 20 more miles, but my goal was 20.  

My swims are usually 1200-2000 yards.  I am not swimming until complete fatigue, just staying comfortable in the water and focusing on technique.  Once it warms up a bit, I will be swimming in open water at Lake Ray Roberts.

I feel that I am becoming a very good cyclist.  100 mile days don’t hurt me much.  

Day 1 Light Peloton (20-30 minutes, hr +-115) Long ride (Currently 40-50 miles)  Short run (1-2 miles) Intensity is low here (10 min mile) Yoga/Stretching (30-90 minutes)

Day 2 Moderate Peloton (40-60 minutes, hr +-140) Swim (1250-1500 yards) Resistance Training (full body) Optional short run Yoga/Stretching

Day 3 Light Peloton Long Run (8-20 miles, 10 min miles, hr < 140) Yoga Stretching

Day 4 Long Peloton 60 min+ (hr depending upon how I feel post-run) Yoga Stretch Optional swim

Day 5 Light Peloton Medium Ride (20-30 miles) Short run (6 min miles, 1-3 miles) Stretch/Yoga

Day 6 Medium Peloton ride (45-60) Resistance Training + Rower (20ish minutes) + Core work Optional Short run (10 min mile pace) or Hill runs Yoga/Stretch

Day 7 (Active Recovery Day) Medium Peloton Ride Yoga Stretch

Day 8 Light Peloton Bike ride (20-50 miles) Optional short run (inversely intense based on the ride - short ride, hard run, long ride, slow run) Stretch/Yoga

Day 9 Medium Peloton Resistance Training + rower Short Slow run Yoga/Stretch

Day 10 Light Peloton Long Run (8+ miles) Yoga/Stretch

Day 11 Long Peloton Short Slow run Yoga Stretch

Day 12 Swim Med-Long Cycle Yoga Stretch

Day 13-14 (repeat Days 6-7, may throw a moderate run in on Day 13 if I’m feeling it).

A couple of notes: -I do yoga and stretch every single day, a minimum of 30 minutes per day.  Sometimes my stretch sessions are over an hour.  Sometimes, I stretch 2-3 times per day.  Nothing affects my recovery more than my stretching - if I skimp, I feel it in my hips and legs.  

-90% of my showers are ice cold.  

-I sleep at least 7 hours per night

-I monitor and chart my resting heart rate, my sleeping heart rate, and my body temperature as an indicator of how well I am recovering.  (That is a lengthy post in itself).  

Once I start logging the actual training, the above schedule should make a bit more sense to you.  For those that think they could never do an Ironman, well, you can if you decide to.  It’s 100% between your ears and has little to do with the current condition your body is in.  

One bit of advice I’d give is to find something, pay for it, and start fucking training for it right now.  My initial catalyst was a simple 3.5 mile obstacle course race on June 22.  I didn’t want to die doing it, and I talked a bunch of friends into doing it with me, including my son Peyton.  Once I started training (not actually doing the races, simply fucking training for them) and seeing how I was progressing, I simply said “fuck it” and got the bug.  Just the fucking IDEA of doing something new changed my entire life’s trajectory.  That is all it took.  

Now my race schedule is: -June 22 - 3.5 mile OCR Texas Stadium, Arlington, TX -Aug 10 - 8.5 mile OCR Boston, MA -Oct 22 - 50k OCR (yeah, 50k motherfucker) Dallas, TX (this race will complete my Spartan Race Trifecta) -Nov 24 - Ironman Tempe, AZ

Is it smart to run a 50k a month out of Ironman?  Probably not.  I don’t know, and I don’t really give a shit.  I do know that when I put my credit card down for each of these events I was scared to fucking death and at that time I had no idea how in the fuck I’d ever be ready.  That was before I had remembered that I am not a pussy and I am one bad motherfucker, just like you are.  So stop being a pussy - it is holding you back more than you’ll know.

[solaspls]

hello---i've heard that people apparently don't think that mass effect andromeda is really not up to standard, especially comparing with dragon age inquisition. in terms of animation, especially. is that how it is as well for you?

I was halfway through typing an actual, several-page-long review of the game, before I reminded myself that you probably don’t need me to go that far, nor does anyone wish to read that! So, to answer your question specifically…

I consider myself an only moderately critical person when it comes to games. I do not expect things to be completely and utterly perfect, and I’m willing to forgive issues that others may not, if I enjoy the sum of its parts.

That being said, I have a lot of problems with Andromeda, and frankly the terrible animations are on the lower end of the spectrum. Which is not to say they aren’t bad. They are. They’re awkward, utterly distracting, and occasionally glitchy - they absolutely do not belong in a 2017 game. I would take Mass Effect 1′s stiff and occasionally goofy animation over this trainwreck any day. The frustrating part too is that the game itself actually looks fairly great at times; when you’re out exploring, you do see glimmers of how amazing it could have been, had the other necessary elements not fallen so far out of place. The Frostbite engine definitely does not disappoint in that regard.

My main gripe is with the writing and characters, which are always what preserve the greatness of BioWare games for me. Even if the rest of the game is plagued by pacing or technical issues, I can always rely upon the compelling characters and engaging story/dialogue to keep me invested. That is not the case with Andromeda, and it is unforgivable. The cast is boring and shallow; many are obvious attempted copies of past characters, and the more “original” ones have zero depth whatsoever. Never in my life have I felt so utterly uninterested with getting to know my companions, and that is an absolute travesty. On top of that, while the story itself was never expected (at least in my opinion) to be particularly groundbreaking, it’s the dialogue that hurts the most. The writing is childish and simple - gone are the witty banters, the gripping exchanges, and the powerful speeches from the previous Mass Effect games.

And it’s not the acting. I’ve heard some people knocking on the voice acting, and honestly, I disagree. The voice cast is solid and does the best with what they can work with. You can’t inject life into poor dialogue via sheer effort.

It seems like someone was trying very hard (probably too hard?) to craft the same quality dialogue that BioWare is known for, but they just fall short, again and again. Already I knew something was amiss when, towards the beginning of the game, Ryder’s father delivered, as the (admittedly good) soundtrack swelled in the background, what was obviously meant to be a rousing speech before they departed for their first (and very high-stakes) mission. It was the most uninspired and generic pep talk you could possibly imagine, and I literally stared at my screen in vapid disbelief once it concluded. That, to me, was when I really began to realize how wrong things were, and it has only gone downhill from there

Mass Effect 2 is my favorite game of all-time, and my love for it, the series, and BioWare in general is literally the only thing keeping me playing. And that is terrible, because it simply reaffirms the idea that even if they churn out a game fraught with dreadful animation mishaps, glitches, lazy writing, and some frankly astoundingly inconvenient gameplay gimmicks and menus, that they can still earn their business.

Ugh. I have a lot of feelings, if you couldn’t tell. I’m just very, very disappointed.

[rissaroundtheworld]

Round 2 FAQs

Hola, friends and family who have faithfully followed me thus far! This blog post comes from a very special place - a REAL COMPUTER, with a REAL KEYBOARD! I’m typing so quickly I can’t even keep up with myself. Seriously, iPads are great for many things, but not blog posting... not even a little bit.

So, my very first blog post prior to leaving was an FAQ segment dedicated to the litany of repeat questions I received leading up to my departure. While I was home for two weeks over Christmas I had a similar experience, and since I unfortunately did not get to see all (most) of the people I would have liked to see, I figured I would repeat the process. This way, you only have to reach out to me if you have actual interest! You’re so very welcome. 

How was it?

Yes, this was the most popular question. Uhm. Great?! I mean, I haven’t had a job or actual responsibility for the last 5 months. Life has certainly been worse! With that being said, I definitely had a rough adjustment process in the beginning. I was scared and lonely and mysteriously forgot how to speak Spanish, which as you might imagine created some serious issues. However, once I got into the swing of things I had an amazing, amazing time. There is nothing more liberating than waking up and realizing I can do WHATEVER I WANT today, tomorrow, or any day. My only real obligations have been plane tickets to other cool places, and if I didn’t get on the plane I would just lose some money. I’ve seen beautiful beaches, mountains, and cities, met some amazing people, and experienced life in a way that I never had prior. I wake up almost every day filled with immense gratitude that I’m living this lifestyle. So, yes, its been fantastic. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to go back to real life ever again.

Are you getting what you needed out of this?

Yes, the hippies I surround myself with are very into feelings and want to know the in’s and out’s of my emotional well being. The truth is, there were two main reasons for me traveling. Reason one was, of course, to run away from the nightmare that was the year leading up to my trip. However, reason number two was that, hey, I’ve always wanted to do something like this! And though losing everything I had was really tough, it also presented me with the opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream. So, to answer the question: Living the dream has been more rewarding than I can possibly explain. Getting out of my former routine and environment has been incredibly cathartic. Traveling alone has given me the opportunity to learn more about myself than I could have ever imagined, and experiencing other cultures and meeting people from all walks of life has helped put my own problems into perspective. Things aren’t perfect, but I can say with 100% certainty that traveling was the best choice I could have made.

When are you coming back?

Originally, my itinerary had me out for about a year, which puts me back home around September. However, after visiting my family for Christmas, I was reminded that Massachusetts winters are far and beyond the closest thing to a frozen hell that one could experience. Why would I come home just in time for the weather to turn against me like a stale relationship? (No, I’m not bitter at all...) I have an idea of the places I would like to visit, the approximate time I would like to be away, and a cap on the money I would like to spend. When I hit one of those I will reevaluate, but I’m hoping to not see winter for at least another year (I’m seriously still recovering from February of 2015, five blizzards in one month broke my soul.)

Whats the strangest food or drink you consumed?

This was a surprisingly popular question, and my answers are unfortunately disappointing. Food wise, I didn’t eat anything too crazy. I meant to eat cuoy (fried guinea pig), but my schedule in Peru was rudely interrupted by a PeruRail strike, and so I missed my opportunity. I would say the strangest food I ate was Alpaca: it was delicious, but I couldn’t help but think of that adorable Alpaca farm on Boston Rd that I drive by EVERY SINGLE TIME that I visit my parents. But... still delicious.

Drink-wise, I would have to hand the “weird” award over to Terremotos, the popular drink in Chile. Terremotos are made with a sweet white wine (so we’re already at odds, sweet drinks are disgusting), fernet (have you tried this? its horrific), PINEAPPLE ICE CREAM (what!?), and topped with grenadine. Who thought this was a good idea!?! One hostel I stayed at was offering them for free for an hour, and I had just checked my bank account so free was the magic word. But... they were awful. Truly, truly awful. 

How was being home?

Being at home was both great and terrible. I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing family and group of friends whom I had missed dearly while away. I managed to see most (but not all, I’m looking at you Emily) of them while I was home, and I couldn’t have been happier! Most of you know that I have a bittersweet relationship with Christmas, so I was happy to be able to spend that dumb day with the people I love the most.

With that being said, I remembered how truly terrible New England winters are! I was beyond relieved to have a ticket to Cartagena, Colombia (average temp. 95 degrees) ready and waiting for me right after Christmas, as “10 degrees, feels like 3″ just doesn’t work for me anymore. All the UnderArmour Cold Gear in the world couldn’t prepare me for the chill in my bones I experienced when I came home! 

Did you pack differently for this round?

YES! Round one I was completely prepared to live out of my backpack: I had a tent, sleeping bag, and sleeping pad. How many times did I use them? Zero. Literally, none. Meanwhile, I found myself in many more social situations than I had expected, and I all I had were clothes meant for farm work. Round 2 changes include: NO camping supplies (with the exception of mosquito netting, I rarely needed it but when I did it saved my life). MORE street clothes. I still have versatile clothes for working, but now if I want to go out to a restaurant or something absurd like that, I wont look like a total buffoon. I even have a fancy dress, which I packed for New Years Eve and am holding onto “just in case.” NO ukulele! When I imagined my travel lifestyle, it was living on isolated farms, sitting around campfires, and my ukulele was the key to making friends. When I ended up mostly working in hospitality and meeting friends for food, drinks, or beach/adventure activities, I realized my ukulele was nothing but dead weight/an additional fee on some low cost airlines. I miss it, but I do not miss lugging it around. And yes... I still have my travel rocks. Feel free to ask Deputy Judge for the full explanation of their secret powers. 

How did your family deal with you leaving this time?

Not many people actually asked me this question, but the answer is so good I chose to throw it out there. When I left the first time, my entire family took the day off to help me pack and drive me to the airport. We took pictures together at Logan, and I was informed that they had to pull over the car on the way home because they were all sobbing. Round 2? I had to pull teeth to get a ride to my flight! In four months my family seemed to adapted quite well to having me gone, and seemed moderately inconvenienced to have to help see me off (in their defense I did fly out of Manchester, which is a fantastic airport by the way). They generally respond to my texts within 3-7 days now, so I think they’re adjusting well. 

What’s the plan for this leg?

As was the plan the entire time, I am basing my travels primarily on weather. No more winter for this native New Englander! I left MA on December 28th for a few weeks in Colombia (more on that in my next post), and am now in Tucson, Arizona, visiting my extended family. I planned to head to Australia from here, but flights to Bali were so much more affordable, so... Bali it is! From there I plan to head to Australia and possibly New Zealand, and after that... who knows! My major priorities are doing MUCH more volunteering (this helps so much with my budget, which I’ve already blown through most of), and once the weather gets warmer, letting plane ticket prices guide my travels. Why make plans when you don’t have to, right? 

What do you miss the most about home?

I’m surprisingly less homesick than I imagined, but there are a number of thing I miss and/or took for granted at home. In no particular order:

- Hot showers. This is a big one. In the incredibly hot cities (Bocas del Toro, Cartagena) this wasn’t a huge crisis, but in the milder climates (Banos, Cuzco, Santiago) this was incredibly unpleasant and definitely compromised my personal hygiene... 

- Tap water. The hippie in me HATES the idea of bottled water, but my need for extreme hydration won out and forced me to buy absurd amounts of bottled water in every country. I spent way too much money and am certain I did irreparable damage to the environment. While in the states I am drinking tap water like its going out of style!

- Addresses. This is one I didn’t expect! You have no idea how useful addresses are until you don’t have one, and I have been incredibly shocked at how many countries just don’t use them. Mail? Taxis? Food delivery? Good luck!

- Clothes. This one also surprised me. I don’t believe I am a superficial person, and I would certainly never use the world “fashionable” to describe myself. However, when you wear the same 3 shirts for FOUR STRAIGHT MONTHS you really grow to miss literally anything else you own. More than once I found myself lurking my own facebook to remember my former wardrobe. RIP.

What will you do when you get back?

I have no idea. Seriously. I have no idea. 

I hope this answered most of your questions! If not, you should know how to reach me by now, and if you don’t, I probably don’t care to hear from you. I am of course still open to visitors (though you’ll have to be patient with my lack of forethought in planning), and I’ll do my best to continue to update you all! In the meantime, enjoy all that snow ;) 

[searchingforsignal]

Goodwill Has Left Politics

Nary a day go by where I don’t see politics plastered across social media. Overwhelmingly, it is individuals advocating for very progressive causes with witty slogans and fancy graphics. You can find accounts on the right as well, but those are often ‘Think Tanks’ or political advocacy groups. Rarely are they people that you know (as is the case with my liberal friends). Both sides have the right to do that, but the unrelenting echo chamber this environment forms forces people deeper and deeper into tribalism, especially when the other side feels like it can’t respond. I wrote another post a while back advocating for choosing to love those who disagree with us and I won’t rehash those arguments here. This time I want to voice why those witty quotes are disingenuous at best and malicious at worst.

Because I’m going to bash on the liberal side a bunch let me just reiterate that there are people on the right who do the same thing and I’m not looking to give them a free pass. One of two semi-political arguments I’ve gotten into on social media was with a right-of-centre account who insisted that 9/11 must have been faked because you couldn’t see the airplane hitting the pentagon in footage (Spoiler alert: if you go frame by frame, you can for ~2 frames, which corresponds to what you would expect on a low frame rate camera). But for this post, I’m literally going to go through my social media accounts and just respond to the things I’m seeing.

1) You MUST vote for Biden in order to stop Trump (or voting for anybody but Biden is evil/treasonous/makes you a terrible person) and the ‘Stop Trump at all costs’ mentality in general

Two problems with this one. First, how condescending is it to assume that you can tell somebody how they must vote. If you want to lay out arguments why Biden is the best candidate, by all means, go ahead, but don’t tell somebody that they need to vote for Biden because he’s not Trump and the Democratic nominee. Second, this is a recipe for long-term electoral failure. Thinking like this may win 2020 because of how extremely flawed Trump is, but what happens when a mainstream Republican who is willing to play to the populists runs in 2024? This doesn’t encourage the Dems to correct the very serious structural problems that lost them the Rust Belt. Trump is a symptom, not a cause. And beating Trump won’t magically fix all the things you don’t like about his supporters, they will still be there, ~40% of the population, voting, protesting, advocating. If the goal is to bring them into the fold again, just beating Trump won’t achieve that, in fact it may just make it worse.

2) The reason why Trump is treated extraordinarily poorly is because Trump is extraordinary

This is laughable to anybody who has an accurate memory of 2012. Trump won the primary because the Republicans were tired of taking the high road and getting beat up for it. Mitt Romney was not treated kindly and respectfully in 2012. He was one of the nicest guys ever to run for President and he was smeared as a ruthless businessman who was grossly incompetent and had a foreign policy out of the Cold War (Hahahahah remember when Obama criticised Romney for calling Russia our number one geopolitical foe...). McCain was treated much the same way. He wasn’t a war hero, he was a loose cannon, liable to snap at any instant. Republicans nominated Trump because Trump was an asshole. He would roll around in the mud without any shame. Trump publicly treated the Democrats the same way that Democratic groups would treat Republican candidates. Did Trump take this to a new level? Yes. Is this how politics should work? No. But to pretend that both sides aren’t guilty is to live in an alternate timeline.

3) Anybody who doesn’t support Black Lives Matter but supports Blue Lives Matter has some issue with the word Black (with the implication that they’re racist).

Uhhh... This is just disingenuous. The reason most people who disagree with BLM disagree isn’t because they believe that Black lives don’t matter, but rather because they disagree with the people who run the BLM movement. I’m not an expert on this so I’m going to kind of punt on this a little, but BLM advocates for specific policies. Somebody who has an issue with those specific policies can disagree with the organisation without disagreeing that Black lives matter. (In short, we have the phrase Black Lives Matter and the organisation Black Lives Matter. It’s reasonable to assume that the people who use “All Lives Matter” or “Blue Lives Matter” are arguing against the latter rather than the former [or at least we should grant them that presumption of goodwill until they prove otherwise].)

4) CHOP/CHAZ/Portland/Insert City Here Has Entirely Peaceful Protests

Okay, this is tough, but the important thing here is that everybody can be wrong. The entire city may not be burning and 90%+ of the protests may be peaceful, but there were several shootings in CHAZ/CHOP and there was, at the very least, property destruction in Portland. This means that the protests aren’t entirely peaceful. Might there be other factors (instigation?) at play, sure. But we shouldn’t lie to advance our own position.

5) If you think wearing a face mask infringes on your rights you’re just an asshole

This is another situation where several things can be true at the same time. The part that people choose to overlook is that a government FORCING you to wear a face mask in public can be a violation of your rights. But, if you can wear a face mask and you don’t well... then you might be an ass... Just because you think you have the right not to do something doesn’t mean you should choose to exercise that right.

6)  Accusing Trump of some -ism or -phobia

You’re not winning anybody over with this... People either already agree with you or you’re pushing them away. If you have a real argument against a policy present that instead, you might actually change somebody’s mind this way

7) Being Apolitical on your social media means you support the status quo

No, I just know that social media is a shitty place to have these conversations, and I’m not looking for a pat on the back or to start a fight. Talk to me privately if you want a serious conversation.

8) Police chose to be police so we shouldn’t advocate for their safety

Bloody hell... This one is stupid. There were several innocent police officers who were killed execution style the last time there were mass protests against police brutality so I think at least a little concern is warranted. Also this in no way has to or should take away from a discussion of how to address police brutality. Once again, both things can true at the same time-- this doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game.

9) Democrats have a police reform bill, but the senate won’t take it up

Yeah, this one is TECHNICALLY true, but everybody knew that the Democratic bill had too many poison pills for Republicans to swallow. However, Senate Republicans had a bill too (one that was more moderate, it was essentially everything from the Democratic bill that both sides could agree on), which Sen. Schumer and most of the Senate Democrats filibustered to keep it from coming up for debate and amendment... At the very least, both parties are equally to blame here, though had Schumer allowed the bill to go to floor debate and it passed, then they would have gone into conference and negotiated a compromise.

10) Selective Political Myopia

This really encompasses many of the things above. We all tend to get caught up in the moment and forget the emotional baggage that some things carry with them. We don’t want to hear why the other side might find one of our positions problematic. Most everybody, myself included, is guilty of this; it’s why confirmation bias is a thing. F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” So let’s all agree to do our best to be a first-rate intelligence. To see both sides of an issue and continue to function and to truly try and understand why your political “opponents” feel the way they do.

In closing IDGAF what your politics are, just be nice, respect the people who disagree with you, and do your best to actually listen to the other side. If I put some effort in I’m totally certain I could replicate this post with Right-Wing slogans, but I think that would be too much Charlie Kirk for me to take.

To end on a more positive note, I do want to say that I am really heartened to see real positive change being made towards equality.

Okay, Rant without direction complete! If you’ve actually read this far, thank you. Be warned, I will not even look at the notes on this-- Too much anxiety. If you actually want to talk to me, shoot me a message and I’ll answer, well, the next time I open Tumblr (which could be several weeks)